#also if anyone has rp servers for these fucks hit me up

[clockworkcat99]

Shoutout to the Intermission/Exiles/Problem Sleuth fans. Y'all the realist ones.

[toastee-roastee]

@citrus-shygal my explanation got over the reply's character limit so I dearly hope you don't mind me answering in a post <3

Anyways, so there's this rp, twirls hair

Gonna explain it in the most sensible way I know so buckle up lmao

It'd be too long to explain the whole story so I'll be cutting off to where these two first appeared :J But some tl;dr from the rp that's important to note

1. Bro got trapped into the void following his grand defeat and gets liberated thanks to a boy who Isekai'd himself into it and in turn, was able to warp them out. Following a couple rest because shit drained the kid out, Dimentio pledges his mentorship to the boy as to lead him into realizing his ulterior motives. A perfect world.

2. Shithead goes to gear shopping and gets another outfit because god forbid anyone recognizes him in this world lmao- He meets Geno here surprisingly, taking now Equinox's flattering compliments and politeness as hitting on him (woops) unfortunately landing him a date... But mistakes are taken as opportunities as he learns who he really is; A star spirit from above, his key to an unreachable wish. So they're dating in this rp but its mostly one-sided CRIESSS

3. Kiddo teasingly calls them dads. The two playing along accidentally becomes fathers (Enzo cannot escape bedtime)

Oh also Moon Insanity was a server event

• Looking at the red moon would spiral the observer into insanity; Equinox loves a pretty moon, and so does Enzo

4. He married Geno purely to recreate the scenario of the Chaos Heart's summoning; Geno's heartbreaking betrayal now manifesting into a Ztar, another being. Geno takes him in to mentor him into a good path. [He still believes Equinox has some good in him, so didn't kill him on sight 🥲]

5. Chaos Heart no worky, instead, all his powers are gone and it hurts like hell to snap once <3

5. Everyone goes their own way, not once seeing all in the same place. Geno vanishes (He's been summoned iirc) and Enzo is missing (He committed arson what a good kid). Now for the current setting:

For a while, Equinox [The mask] was missing and thus, bitch was left faceless. In this state, his memory is much more hazier and often his motives would hitch into ambiguity as it has no face to store any memories whatsoever.

This has led to some unhinged shit but basically, lil guy that Geno took under his wing found the faceless man and remembering how Geno depicted him with a mask when explaining; quickly caught on that something was wrong. He'd grab a paper and crayon and cut his first mask into a butterfly: This is Falenio

Because of its intent being so pure and the overall energy of it being child-like this mask would shift Dimentio into good-affiliated subconsciousness. Thus making it much harder for him to fuck shit up and often letting the mask take the wheel per say; All the malice that stores within him is suppressed under the child-like voice that keeps begging him to be morally sane.

Bitch couldn't cope with such a mask so he made himself another just to fuck shit up and undo the good he's done. Actively working into his real motives no matter what it takes. Right now this mask hasn't been done yet in canon rp but in crack rp we already have him watch his students get obliterated while eating popcorn cuz that'll train them for the ultimate plan lmao

Please excuse my rambling and overall nonsensical explanation I will now perish

BUT HOLY SHIT THIS MAGICIAN IS AUGH DHJ I LIKE JESTER

Lazy ass colouring but just for pfp because omfg colouring suuckkjs (my tablet it broken afff

[rnelodyy]

c!Dream and the rules

(/dsmp /rp, all names refer to characters, not content creators)

I think one of the most striking parts of Exile is something that I rarely see talked about, and it’s Dream’s rules. Or rather, how his rules were made to be used as justification to hurt Tommy.

The thing about exile is that, outside of the initial rule of “Don’t go back to L’Manburg”, Dream never told Tommy the rules, yet constantly operated under the assumption that Tommy already knew them, and had accepted them. The rules also changed constantly, without Tommy ever being notified until he was already in trouble.

The second time Dream told Tommy to put his armor in the hole, he didn’t tell Tommy to do that right away. Instead, the conversation went like this (slightly edited to remove stammering and unrelated dialogue).

Dream: Do you have, uh… something you wanna put on the floor here? Tommy: Yes. (drops two pieces of red concrete as Dream digs a hole) Dre-eam! You’re evil. You’re evil. Dream: Anything else, Tommy? Tommy: Nope! Dream: Oh c’mon, I know there’s something else you wanna drop down here. Tommy: (panicking slightly) No, there… (messages BBH “take this and run”, throws him the disc BBH had gifted him earlier) Um… I don’t reckon there is! (pause) Dream: Okay, are you suuuure? Tommy: YES. Dream: Alright… How ‘bout your armor, Tommy? Tommy: Well, no, this is- I actually earned this myself. Dream: I know you did! Tommy: Leave me alone. Dream: Just drop it in the hole, Tommy. Tommy: Wh- no, NO, you can’t just come and demand things from me! I’ve been exiled, I’ve done your shit, what do you mean?! Dream: (sing-song) Tommy… Tommy: What? (Dream hits Tommy with his axe, taking over half his health) Tommy: (screams, drops his armor) OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY!

The only rule Tommy was aware of at this time was that he wasn’t allowed to go back to L’Manburg. Dream had taken his armor the night before, but there was no indication that he expected Tommy to do this constantly. Taking his armor upon initially arriving at Logstedshire made some kind of sense, allowing Tommy to keep it would run the risk of him trying to fight his way back into L’Manburg. Taking his new, very shitty armor (seriously it was an iron chestplate and a pair of golden leggings he got from a ruined portal chest) made no sense at all, so the fact that Tommy was confused and refused to cooperate at first isn’t unexpected in the slightest.

And the thing is… Dream was aware of this fact. Throughout the conversation, he never really sounded annoyed, and was actively teasing Tommy at times. This isn’t a good thing btw, it’s a sign that he was fully aware that Tommy didn’t know what he wanted from him, and that that would create a situation where Dream could “put him in his place” as it were.

If you’re a parent, and your kid does something that’s not allowed, without knowing it’s not allowed, you don’t start off with a beating. You sit them down, calmly explain the rules to them and explain why those rules are there, then send them on their way with the knowledge that they shouldn't do it again.

This interaction wasn’t an instance of Tommy acting out and Dream correcting him. This interaction was a trap. Dream set Tommy up to fail by not telling him the rules beforehand, and when Tommy offered even the slightest bit of resistance and asked why he needed to drop his armor, Dream jumped straight to beating him. It’s a powerplay, plain and simple.

This is demonstrated again with the destruction of Logstedshire. Dream got pissed that Tommy disobeyed him by having hidden chests with gear under his house, and retaliated by destroying everything Tommy had built, destroying every item he’d collected, killing his pet and only foodsource, barring him from the Nether, banning everyone except himself from visiting, and telling him to start over from scratch after a whole lecture about how Tommy betrayed him.

Again, I wanna point out some specific lines from this lecture that illustrate my point very well.

Dream: You were lying to me! You were lying to me. Tommy: No- Why was I lying?! Dream: What do you mean, why were you lying?! Tommy: I wasn’t hi- I wasn’t- Dream: You hid things in a chest knowing they were things I wouldn’t want you to have! And you hid it in a way that way I would never find it!

Except Tommy didn’t know that. The contents of the stash were all items that Tommy had obtained previously without any issue (diamonds, emeralds, iron, ender pearls, some pickaxes, and some purely sentimental items like flowers, a jukebox, and pictures of Tubbo and L’Manburg). In fact, the vast majority of them came from Tommy’s aboveground storage, which Dream had full access to, and had looked through before!

Dream also never said Tommy wasn’t allowed to hide stuff, and there was nothing to suggest he didn’t want Tommy to keep secrets from him.

There’s been a theory floating around for a while that Dream knew about Tommy’s item stash beforehand, since it was a very strange place to dig a hole (like, right in front of the house in the center of Logstedshire itself, instead of out in the plains where the TNT wouldn’t damage any structures), and Tommy had previously forgotten to cover up the entrance ladder. While Dream hadn’t looked inside the house, he would’ve definitely heard Tommy place the block back.

If this theory is correct, then this was yet another trap. Dream knew Tommy had a hidden room, and instead of just saying “hey, I don’t want you to have a hidden stash, go put this back and fill in the room” (which would’ve still been bullshit btw), he went COMPLETELY ballistic, destroyed EVERYTHING Tommy had, and while doing it, kept admonishing Tommy for betraying him, said shit like “I thought we were friends”, and even accused him of preparing to attack Dream. Again, a powerplay.

Hell, even the exile conflict itself is this! Tommy was exiled for griefing the king’s property while being a high-ranking official in L’Manburg. Except Fundy, the then-president’s son, CONSTANTLY griefed Eret’s shit after the L’Manburg war, ranging from ripping down one of their towers to “shrink” it, filling another tower with water, and multiple elaborate plots to steal the throne from under their nose. But apparently, between all of that shit and the exile-conflict, the rules were silently changed, meaning Dream could exile Tommy for breaking a couple blocks and placing some rude signs in George’s house. Even the punishment itself was changed without warning, as Tommy went from being exiled from L’Manburg to exiled from “everywhere that’s ever been touched.”

...I was originally gonna make a different point here. I may put it in the reblogs, because I still think it’s very interesting. But, in the middle of writing this essay I had to stop because it was late, then I spent the entire next day packing up because I’m in the middle of a move. It's now the next evening, I'm sat in my new room, on my camping bed, I opened this doc because I pretty much forgot what I typed, I reread it, and then I realized… This isn’t an isolated series of events. This is a pattern for Dream.

Before Tommy first joined the server, there were only three set rules: no stealing, no griefing, and no killing people. Except by that point, those rules weren’t enforced at all. In fact, Dream broke all three at once at one point, by killing George and burning his diamond armor because he didn’t feel it was fair that George got to run around in full diamond when everyone else still had iron.

Tommy joined the server, and broke the rules like everyone else. He stole shit, broke shit, killed George for funsies… and he got exiled for it. Seriously, they dumped him in an empty snowfield for breaking rules that nobody had enforced for weeks. So technically, the Exile-arc isn’t even the first time something like this has happened to him!

During the events that would eventually spark the Disc War, Sapnap stole a bunch of Tommy’s items (including the only Netherite chestplate on the server at the time), and told him he’d only give the stuff back if Tommy helped him with a conflict he had with Ponk. Long story short, Dream tried to intervene and was killed by Tommy and Sapnap, and Dream stole Tommy’s discs to force him to apologize. He then kept the discs, and the Disc War followed. Sapnap, despite being the aggressor and arguably forcing Tommy to participate in the conflict, was never punished.

This proves not only that the rules can change whenever Dream feels like it, but that they’re arbitrarily enforced. Dream refuses to punish his friends for the same crimes he endlessly fucks over Tommy for.

L’Manburg was created in part because of the fact that the rules were unevenly enforced. Tommy, Wilbur, and later Tubbo were repeatedly killed, stolen from, imprisoned, and even held hostage for very minor crimes, while the people killing, imprisoning, kidnapping and stealing from them were able to do so without impunity.

This was also the point where Dream just started making up new rules; there was no rule against having governments on the server, or making a separate area where Dream’s rules wouldn’t apply, so Dream banned governments, and used this new rule as an excuse to kill them, take their items, and tear their land to shreds.

And that’s another thing: the punishments for breaking Dream’s rules are INCREDIBLY harsh.

Kill him non-canonically one time? Your most prized possessions will now be dangled over your head and used to hurt you for the next few months.

Make a country with different laws that doesn’t infringe on anyone’s territory, has no desire to expand, is explicitly pacifistic and open to trade negotiations? You’ll be forced to fight a war you’re in no way equipped to fight, you’ll be betrayed and murdered and have your land destroyed in front of your very eyes until you literally have no choice but to surrender.

Mildly vandalize the king’s house, which nobody else has ever been punished for? You’ll be dragged into court, exiled from your home, and subjected to weeks of abuse until you believe that all of your friends hate you and you actively want to kill yourself.

Hide some stuff in a secret chest? Your only shelter will be exploded, your pet/only food source will be killed, all your items will be destroyed, you’ll be banned from the Nether, and none of your friends will be allowed to come see you.

This is all such disproportionate retribution it’s ridiculous. It’s like punishing someone for speeding by blowing up their car with a ballistic missile.

So to sum up: Dream’s rules are arbitrarily enforced, and he can just straight up make them up on the spot if he feels like it. Sometimes, he won’t tell you a rule exists until you’ve already broken it, and you’re treated as if you broke it out of malice instead of genuine ignorance. And if you do break a rule, and he decides you have to be punished, it will always be a punishment so harsh it doesn’t even ATTEMPT to fit the crime.

I don’t know about you, but that sounds pretty fucking corrupt and tyrannical to me.

When people say Tommy deserved exile, or made Dream spiral into villainy, or abused Dream somehow (seriously I’ve seen this take multiple times and every time it makes my brain melt) by breaking the rules, I would invite them to take a step back and ask themselves, why did that rule exist? Did Tommy know it existed? Was it enforced for everyone other than him as well? Does the punishment fit the crime?

Dream has a bad habit of making up rules, or enforcing old ones that were never enforced before, to punish those who threaten his power. None of the Dream Team were ever punished for anything, despite committing the same crimes as the L’Manburgians. That is, until they founded Mexican L’Manburg (i.e. went against Dream’s rule), at which point they were attacked by Dream and George was dethroned for “not being neutral enough.”

Tommy should’ve faced consequences for what he did. But those consequences should’ve come naturally, and been carried out by the people he hurt. Like, if Dream hadn’t intervened, griefing George’s house would’ve resulted in George griefing Tommy back in revenge. In fact, he DID do that, by turning Tommy’s entire house into granite and putting the Jump In The Cadillac picture on his front lawn.

These are natural, proportionate consequences. Exile was none of that. The Disc War was none of that. Everything that happened to L’Manburg was none of that.

Dream’s rules and how he enforces them are inherently corrupt and tyrannical. To pretend it’s anything but is disingenuous at best.

[lokifantasies]

Puppy

The Winter Goddess - 2

Summary: Bucky and Jade take a major step in their relationship.

MINORS DNI!

Things to expect: smut, oral sex, daddy kink, coarse language

Also, the roleplay for this series is exclusively the Discord server! The RP has MAJOR impacts on the storyline. Let me know if you'd like to be invited!

Let me know if anyone would like to be added to a taglist!

Every like, comment, and reblog is greatly appreciated! ❄️

A/N: THIS IS AN ADULT JADE VARIANT.

@the-winter-goddess @twg-bucky

"Oh my God, Bucky!" Jade squealed as she walked through the front door of his small home. There to meet her was a small Rottweiler puppy. Bucky took the goddess's backpack off and placed it by the front door, smiling at her excitement. Jade picked up the puppy, a girl, and carried her to the sofa – giggling as she licked her new mom's face. "Bucky, why'd you get a puppy?"

"Well," the soldier sighed – sitting down next to Jade on the sofa and resting his left arm on the back of it. "I wanted to get you a puppy, but I know you have Stripes and Bobbert at home, so I didn't think your parents would want another one."

Jade smiled and leaned in for a deep kiss. "But why did you wanna get me one in the first place?" she questioned – her eyebrow raised in confusion. "I mean...not that I'm complaining," she chuckled – petting the puppy and kissing her soft head.

"Well," Bucky began with a sigh, "I've always wanted a Rottweiler, and I know you love dogs, so I figured she could be our dog."

Jade had tears in her eyes as she listened to Bucky explain why he got the puppy.

"You're so sweet," she smiled – kissing his lips once more. "What do you say we...go play?"

Bucky bit his lower lip and wiggled his eyebrows – standing up from the sofa and holding his hand out for Jade to grab. She put the puppy on the floor and watched as she went to play with her toys. When the goddess reached up and grabbed the soldier's hand – he pulled her to his chest and kissed her deeply – spinning her around and walking her backwards to his bedroom. As the back of her knees hit the mattress, Jade chuckled and fell back – wrapping her arms around Bucky's neck while he continued to kiss her – holding himself above her with his elbows – his hands tangling in her long, black hair. When the two broke apart for a breath – Jade immediately pulled Bucky's shirt off and threw it to the floor.

"You're so damn hot," Jade purred – running her hands all over his chest and planting small kisses as she went. She grabbed the skin on his right pectoral – sucking and biting hard enough to leave a gorgeous, large hickey – marking him as hers.

"Oh, fuck," Bucky moaned at the feeling – pushing her further up on the bed. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, sir," Jade chuckled – reaching down to undo his belt buckle. At the same time, Bucky slid Jade's shirt off her – unhooking her bra to expose her breasts. "Mark me."

"Yes, ma'am," Bucky smiled – biting the side of Jade's breast and forming a hickey of his own on her. "Who owns you?" the soldier purred – planting open-mouthed kisses on the goddess's neck.

"You, baby," she moaned – the wetness between her legs starting to grow.

With his belt unbuckled but his pants still on, Bucky went down to his knees – sliding Jade's jeans and panties down her legs to expose her soaked and aching core. "Please," she sighed – spreading her thighs for him to begin devouring her.

"Please, what?" Bucky teased – beginning to trail kisses from her feet to her hips – never going near where she needed him. "What does my baby want?"

Hearing his words, Jade slipped into her submissive role, her desire quickly growing to a higher level.

"Eat me, daddy," Jade pleaded.

The Winter Soldier chuckled darkly – wrapping his arms under her thighs to keep them as wide as possible. He teased her – peppering her sex with kisses and nibbles but never going to her apex. "Please, daddy," she begged once more – trying to grind her hips against his face. Bucky took his lips off her skin and hummed – diving into her pussy before she had time to react. "Fuck!" Jade moaned – throwing her head back and grabbing for Bucky's long hair. "Shit, right there!"

Bucky chuckled – wrapping his lips around her clit – sucking and biting it gently while his metal index finger began to enter her cunt.

"My doll okay?" he asked – waiting for a nod before curling the cold metal against her g-spot. Jade instantly bucked her hips – grinding against his mouth and finger for more friction. "My baby girl like that?" he asked – the sound of his mouth against her cunt absolutely sinful as he made the actions as loud as possible. He was truly eating her like a starved man – a man who hadn't seen food in a year, and had suddenly found a peach. She was juicy – her pussy the best he had ever had.

"I'm gonna cum," Jade cried out – riding Bucky's face and finger - moving as fast and hard as possible – her fingers tightening their grip on his brown locks.

"Cum for daddy, baby," Bucky encouraged – his words quickly sending her over the edge as her coil snapped. She let out her cry – the extreme pleasure blinding her as she rode her orgasm out on his tongue.

"Oh my God, Buck," she panted – feeling herself move to the center of the bed as she came back down from her high.

Bucky had lifted her onto the bed – placing her in the center, and letting her head rest against the soft pillows. "You make me feel so amazing," Jade said – her eyes still hooded while she tried to catch her breath.

"You are so amazing," he chuckled – holding himself above her, brushing her hair out of her face, and gently holding her cheeks. He bent down and placed a deep kiss on her lips – waiting for her to come completely back down before they went any further.

"Buck...," Jade spoke softly – her finger circling the mark she had made earlier. "I'm...I'm ready."

"For?" the soldier asked with a smile – knowing what she meant but still wanting to hear it from her mouth.

"For...you to...take it," Jade said shyly. "I'm ready for you to take my virginity."

Bucky smiled proudly down at her – his blue eyes getting lost in her.

"You're certain?" he asked – wanting to make sure.

"Yes," she nodded – her hands reaching for the button of his pants.

He let her unbutton and unzip his pants, and he slid them off his body – letting her slide his underwear down as well. "W-Will you hurt me?" she asked nervously – looking at him and remembering how large he was.

The soldier gently grabbed her face – looking into her scared eyes. "No, baby doll," he assured her. "It'll be a little uncomfortable at first, but daddy will make sure it doesn't last, alright? Just keep your eyes on me."

"Okay...," she exhaled – nodding her head and lying her head back. "It's just...when Evan did i-,"

"I'm not that piece of shit, alright?" Bucky reminded her instantly – understanding where her hesitation was coming from. "I actually love you..."

The words came off his tongue before he had time to think about them, and Jade's eyes began to tear up.

"Wha-What?" she asked in disbelief – a tear rolling down her cheek. "You...you love me?"

Bucky licked his lips and bit his bottom one before smiling at her. "I love you, Jade Pandora Lokisdottir...more than words and puppies can say."

Jade full-on laughed – finding his declaration adorable.

"I love you too," she responded softly – wrapping her arms back around his neck and playing with his soft hairs on the back of his head. "More than words and puppies can say," she added with a giggle – his lips crashing down on hers.

"Are you ready?" Bucky asked seriously as he spread her legs apart and started to position himself at her soaked entrance. Jade took a deep breath and exhaled shakily – tightening her grip around his neck and nodding. "What's your word?"

"Puppy," she stated almost immediately with a chuckle while Bucky took a condom out of his nightstand and put it on quickly – lathering it with lube to make sure he would be able to get in her without much resistance.

"Puppy," he confirmed with a seductive chuckle, "got it." His flesh hand went down to make sure she was still soaked and to wipe the leftover lube off his hand onto her cunt. "Ooh, you're soaked for daddy," he moaned – the tip of his cock tapping against her swollen clit – causing her to jump. "Good?" Jade nodded – keeping her breaths even and clutching onto him even tighter. With his metal hand, Bucky spread her lower lips apart – spreading her thighs even wider to have her completely exposed for him. "Okay, love...you just hang in there with me, alright?"

"Okay," she nodded – taking a deep breath as he lined his cock up with her dripping hole.

Very slowly, Bucky began to enter her tight body – the head of his cock already stretching her. "Ow," she gasped – causing Bucky to stop.

"Need me to stop, baby doll?" he asked with concern.

Jade shook her head – readjusting her hold on him. "No...keep going."

Continuing at the same pace, he finally got the head of his cock inside – stopping for a moment to let her adjust to the feeling before he continued. As he held himself still – trying to get her to adjust – tears began rolling down her cheeks – immediately worrying the soldier.

"Baby...baby, what's wrong?" he asked softly – wiping the tears from her cheeks. "Do we need to stop?"

"No," she shook her head. "I just...hi-him...you-you're not him."

Bucky looked at her with sympathy. "No, my darling...I'm not him. If we need to stop, just tell me."

Jade sniffled – catching her breath and trying to slow her thoughts. "No, Buck...I wanna give this to you."

"Hey, look at me," he spoke softly – stroking her cheek gently. "I love you, Jade," Bucky swore when her blue eyes finally looked back to his.

"I-I love you," she repeated – her breathing still short. "Keep going."

Without another word, Bucky slid himself in a little more – his heart aching at the sight of her being uncomfortable.

"You're okay, my love," he assured her – stopping once more after another inch or so was in. He could tell that she was becoming embarrassed by her inability to handle him. "Hey, we'll get there...there's no rush."

"Right," Jade nodded – trying to keep her breathing under control. "Please, Buck...don't stop, alright? I'll say our word if I need you to, okay?"

Bucky leaned down and kissed her lips gently. "Are you completely sure about this?"

"Yes," she whispered. "I wanna feel you in me."

Pulling himself out completely to add more lube to the condom, Bucky's eyes glanced down to Jade tight pussy – the way it was already turning red from the stretching. Once more, he lined himself up, and slowly breached her. Holding himself up on his left elbow, his right arm held her head close to his chest – the soldier planting kisses on her head and whispering sweet things.

"Almost there," Bucky informed Jade.

Jade shook her head – screwing her eyes closed in pain. "Buck...pause."

Halfway inside, Bucky stopped his movement and wiped a tear from Jade's cheek. "Okay," she nodded. "Just...just go."

Bucky held Jade closer to his chest – his heart aching at her whimpering, but finally, his member was fully sheathed inside her.

"Look, baby," Bucky said softly – prompting Jade to open her eyes. "I'm in...see?" He grabbed Jade's hand and guided it to where their bodies were one, and the goddess instantly began to smile – the tears of fear and pain subsiding. "How're you feeling?"

"Hurts," Jade admitted – letting her tight tunnel adjust to the intrusion. "I can't believe we did this," she chuckled – her hand clasped over her mouth to stop laughing.

"I love you," Bucky said lovingly – kissing her forehead tenderly. "Let me know when you're ready for me to move."

Jade and Bucky let their tongues dance for a few minutes before Jade finally gave Bucky the okay to begin thrusting. The soldier started slowly – sliding out almost completely and slowly going back in – the goddess's breath being knocked from her lungs. She grabbed his shoulders – her nails leaving scratch marks on his flesh arm. With each thrust, he sped up, eventually settling on a slow but deep rhythm.

"Oh my God, Buck..," Jade began to moan – the pain beginning to fade and being replaced with pleasure. His cock made her feel full, and she was pretty sure he was pressing against her cervix. "Holy shit, right there," she groaned – her fingers tangling in his long hair and kissing him deeply.

Bucky moaned against the goddess's mouth – feeling her soaked, tight cunt beginning to clench around him.

"Oh, baby doll," Bucky groaned – wanting to send Jade into her climax before he let himself go. "Come on, baby...let your little pussy squeeze me," he began to talk lowly – planting kisses on her neck and nibbling at her earlobe. Quickly, he reached for her legs and tossed them over his shoulders – the new angle driving a scream from Jade. "My girl like that, huh?"

"Fuck...Bucky...oh my God, I'm about to -,"

"Milk me, doll," Bucky ordered – the seductiveness in his voice pushing Jade over the edge. "Ah, fuck yes," he groaned.

As Jade's pussy clenched and throbbed around Bucky's member, she let out a scream of pleasure – her eyesight going blank, and her back arching off the bed. Through her orgasm, however, she felt Bucky's thrusting get sloppy before he stilled in her – a sinful moan in her ear as he finally let himself cum.

"I love you," Jade softly spoke – kissing him on the nose.

Bucky chuckled before returning the cute act. "I love you, my goddess."

Once he softened, Bucky pulled out of Jade – taking the condom off and checking to make sure there were no little rips or tears. Flushing it down the toilet in the adjoining bathroom, Bucky grabbed a warm rag – bringing it to Jade and gently cleaning up her aching pussy.

"So," Jade said breathlessly – getting his attention. "Round two?"

[violexides]

Slavmaeda- My (Hopefully Only) Statement

Note: The times listed here are mostly in EST. If it is in another time, it will state in parentheses. The other time will usually be Polish time.

Another Note: @slavmaedasaga exists, now, for all the posts. I don’t know who made it.

Possible Blackened-

Fir (aka Firanka)

Sunflower

Marshpy

Daniel

Jago

People who follow Sunflower / Marshpy / Fir / Jago

Gay Nagito Komaeda 

Experiencecarrots

Slavmaedasaga

Monokuma File- At an unspecified time this morning, Sunflower received an anon, posting “Slavmaeda rights” continuously until hitting the character limit. At 9:12 AM, Firanka confirms to receiving a similar ask. At 9:17 AM, Fir announces the case to a public discord server, “Danganronpa 2: Tropical Despair”. At 3:50 PM (POLISH TIME), Marshpy receives this ask. At 10:13 AM (or six minutes later, according to Fir), Jago receives a Slavmaeda rights ask. Then, everything went to hell.

TRUTH BULLETS

Alternate Anons: Other anons during this initial period of time were sending Sunflower asks.

“Fir”: One of these anons, not sent by Fir, uses her nickname.

Marshpy’s Account: She states to not having enough bastard energies, as well as her identity as “not Slavic” as proof of her innocence.

See: Marshpy’s Confession.

Marshpy’s Confession: Marshpy admits to sending the asks that went to sunflower and Fir, but none others.

She says she thought it would be funny.

Jago’s Account: [Jago’s] main line of defense is the website & the fact [Jago is] managing a group RP at the same time, [Jago] didnt even have tumblr opened until the situation started.

Jago proves in a screenshot that the first time she opened tumblr was at 10:12 AM.

Sunflower’s Account: She was typing up a character analysis, talking on a server, and answering other posts. Therefore, she did not have time to post these.

Worth noting that later, she would mark the times she was on/off tumblr.

Fir’s Account: She claims to being “confused the entire time”, which she admits herself is a weak alibi. She also states which specific anons she sent sunflower, none of these being the Slavmaeda posts.

See: Fir’s Confession.

Typing Patterns: The first ask was the same set of three “Slavmaeda rights” copy pasted, meaning that every third “Slavmaeda rights”, starting from the first one, had a capital S.

The second was in this same pattern.

The third was in all caps.

The forth had alternating letter capitalization.

Note: After this point, so many asks were coming in that it is hard to establish which typing patterns were used. However, it is worth saying that there were different typing and capitalization patterns.

Notes (Kind of useless but I typed it so whatever): As of typing this, Jago’s post received no notes.

Marshpy’s only received Sunflower and Fir’s declarations of innocence.

Sunflower’s posts received scattered notes.

Fir’s received an unspecified number of notes.

Sunflower’s posts, later, were reblogged frequently by the account “slavmaedasaga”

Daniel’s Account: Daniel is a bastard.

They have no tumblr account, so they can’t leave notes.

Anons can be sent without a tumblr account.

See: Daniel’s Confession.

Jago’s Website: “[It’s] not finished and navigation still is wonky but I can show if I need to prove [I’m] not really paying attention to tumblr rn”

It’s a really dope website not going to lie.

Just. Well done, Jago.

However, this could have been an alibi, planned, as Jago has been watching but suspiciously not contributing much.

Class Trial Rules: Only the first blackened gets punished.

This has nothing to do with anything.

We aren’t a class so technically it’s not a class trial.

But this is still an interesting point, motivation wise.

RickRolling Part One: Daniel is a bastard and a Mikan Kinne.

Deleted Message: Fir paraphrases it as “[trial participants] haven’t noticed something.”

This was deleted.

Daniel sent it.

Threat: “The Slavmaeda Revolution will continue without you” was sent to Marshpy at 10:31 AM.

Daniel claims this was not them.

Fir’s Confession: Fir claims to have sent the Slavmaeda asks to Jago and Marshpy, but did not send the Slavmaeda Revolution asks.

Rickrolling Ask: Someone copy and pastes the lyrics to “Never Gonna Give You Up” and sends it to Fir. After maybe a minute, she receives another Slavmaeda Rights ask.

This Slavmaeda Rights has the same typing patterns as Marshpy’s, except it cuts itself off at the end with a dash.

Threat Redux: Sunflower receives an ask that says “the slavmaeda nation shall remain eternal”

Gay-Nagito-Komaeda’s Account: They just follow Fir and are confused.

They’re innocent it’s just worth noting.

They later joined the Tropical Despair Discord Server.

Sunflower’s Ask: “slavmaeda is inevitable. succumb.”

10:55 AM.

Unsettling Truth: There is no way to track this, because, while certain asks have to have been sent by people in the server contextually, there could be people following Sunflower sending her asks, Fir sending her asks, etc.

Re: The Unsettling Truth: “Slavmaeda has already infiltrated your little trial. You are not safe there. Submit to the revolution.”

10:58 AM

Sunflower’s New Ask: The same Slavemaeda Rights that came with the Rickroll Fir received.

Sunflower’s Time Off Tumblr: 11:07 AM-11:09

11:20 AM-

Other Shit: “Rick rolling is the Slavmaeda National Anthem” (11:09 AM) (Fir)

Slavmaeda Rights (Robyn) (11:11 AM)

“Slavmaeda Slavmaeda Slavmaeda Slavmaeda” (Fir) (11:13) (not an anon, sent as daniel)

Daniel’s Confession: This fucking Mikan Kinnie.

Sent “a lot of [fir’s asks]” and “sent the revolution one to marshpy”

Experiencecarrots: “slavmaeda is the only alibi :)”

I’m gonna be honest, nobody on this server claims to be carrots.

So I have no fucking clue what is going on.

By the way, [I] is Sunflower.

THOUGHTS BEFORE POSTING:

It’s so fucking hard to track so I’m not sure if this is even accurate. This is the most information I’ve got. I’m also tired, so I haven’t looked through this in too much depth. But I think this is correct.

HANGMAN’S GAMBIT

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

r e v o l u t i o n

WHITE NOISE

Lyrics to Never Gonna Give You Up

EDIT ONE - The server this is on is Danganronpa 2: Tropical Despair. 

EDIT TWO - Ignore the Hangman’s Gambit and White Noise, I got carried away.

EDIT THREE - Experiencecarrots confirms to not be on the server. I sort of figured because I think we were mutuals long before this happened, but at the same time, I’m confused as all hell.

EDIT FOUR - Maybe the real culprits were the friends we made along the way.

EDIT FIVE - Carrot’s Account (via tumblr): “Hey hey hey! I only liked the post because I refresh my feed every 2 seconds and like whatever’s there. And I follow pretty much anyone I find, so ha. Also thanks for letting me be a suspect, quite the honor if I say so myself :)” This is regarding claims of being suspicious due to being the first likes on posts, as well as following slavmaedasaga.

EDIT SIX - Gay Nagito Komaeda’s Confession: They sent Fir the rickroll ask, which was incredibly coincidental, considering that they were not in the Tropical Despair Server at the time they sent it, nor at the time Daniel rickrolled us. That was pure fucking luck. Holy shit.

EDIT SEVEN - slavmaedasaga is, most likely, on Tropical Despair. They updated the rickroll post with, in the tags, “komaeda”, meaning that they knew that it was Gay Nagito Komaeda. HOWEVER, I am aware that I updated my post with this information. We have no actual timestamps of who did what exactly, but it was within minutes of each other. My personal thoughts are that this is a person on the server, but I’m not certain.

EDIT EIGHT - slavmaedasaga claims to be a single person. It is worth considering that they could not be, but I have a feeling like they are a single person. 

EDIT NINE - Daniel knows who slavmaedasaga is. It’s probably Daniel, isn’t it. We should have seen that coming. (But I will hold my suspicions until they say it themself.)

EDIT TEN - I want to make a public apology for mistreating my spaghetti. I understand that, in the light of recent allegations regarding slavmaeda and the trial ongoing to find the blackened, it may have appeared as if I have been so caught up in the information that I forgot to treat my spaghetti with care. I assure you in the future that I will never hurt my spaghetti again. 

EDIT ELEVEN - There is now a tumblr blog called “slavmaeda rights”, which is entirely focused on slavmaeda rights. I’m losing my mind.

EDIT TWELVE - Slavmaedarights deleted their post that had “Slavmaeda rights” over and over.

EDIT THIRTEEN - Worth clarifying. There are technically two “og Slavmaeda” people. One is Fir, who started all of this by mentioning the concept of slavmaeda. The other is Marshpy.

EDIT FOURTEEN - Slavmaedasaga is in Tropical Despair. We raised suspicions in this server (More specifically, Gay Komaeda Nagito did) that they were the same as slavmaedarights. They very quickly made a post denying this. Therefore, they have to have been in the server. 

EDIT FIFTEEN - Slavmaedarights posted again (just slavmaeda rights over and over) then deleted it. I never saw this with my two eyes. Marshpy and Gay Nagito Komaeda are eye witnesses. Some of the “S”s in rights were capitalized, according to Marshpy, which is vital to consider. Marshpy claims that there is no isolated S in this post, but she isn’t certain. Also worth considering. A deviation from a familiar pattern, which is interesting. 

EDIT SIXTEEN - TWO CRUCIAL BITS OF INFO! The description of Slavmaedasaga is “Hope” in Bulgarian. Also, Daniel bluffed when they said, in the Tropical Despair server, that they knew who “Saga” is. They just wanted clout. This is important info-- we have no leads on Slavmaedasaga. But we do know that it was likely not Daniel. Daniel accuses Marshpy. who knows. 

EDIT SEVENTEEN - Marshpy was shopping when "Saga” started, and Daniel sent a cryptic smiley face. They claim they were wrong about accusing Marshpy. 

EDIT EIGHTEEN - SLVRights = Damien. They aren’t the same person as SLVSaga. Daniel has shown evidence that they only have one blog. I’m getting funky anons. One anon is the same person, sending theories. There are some others. The theory anon also called me sun, which isn’t explicitly odd but I guess you can consider it. Not sure what else to say. 

EDIT NINETEEN - Haven’t been updating this enough. I’m getting a lot of messages and asks. “Beg. Beg for the answers. Slavmaeda is an unforgiving god. -Damien” was posted, then deleted, on the SLVRights blog in binary. I have an anon in binary. I’m inclined to believe they aren’t the same person. Someone on the server, not related on the tumblr side but helpful on the server side, has a theory. They have yet to say. I have a new ask.

EDIT TWENTY - Firanka wanted me to say that a lot of Tropical Despair people are having wifi issues. I highly doubt this is relevant. Damien posted something. I won’t type it here, because it is long, but I’ll see if I can reblog it. If not, I’ll write a transcript. Thanks for sticking with me. 

EDIT TWENTY ONE - A lot has gone on. Worth saying, I turned off my anonymous asks. Nothing happened. As in like, nobody sent any asks. One of my friends did as a test. I kept it like that for a while. But, as Daniel put it, cryptid hints are better than no hints. 

EDIT TWENTY TWO - Further clarification, for those lost. According to present information, Binary, Saga, and Damien are all separate people. That is as far as we know. I don’t know everyone who did this, so I apologize if I leave certain people out, but Daniel, Nebby, Firanka (there is still suspicion), Glitter (on server), and I have shown screenshots proving we only have our one blog. There are likely loopholes, but... worth considering.

EDIT TWENTY THREE - New stuff surfacing. I’m worried people are getting anxious because of some of this. If you are, please prioritize yourself. Like, literally, even if you’re a huge part of this, if you’re getting stressed? Take a breather. Stay safe. Alright? Not to be the mom of this situation. But it’s important. Take care of yourself. I’m leaving this pinned, but as it winds down, i’m probably gonna unpin this post. But, still here if you ever want to figure stuff out. 

EDIT TWENTY FOUR - Approaching 400 posts. That’s interesting. Also, the suspect list on here isn’t updated. Updated information is in the edits alone. I haven’t even looked at the truth bullets since posting.

EDIT TWENTY FIVE - “Binary” was run by @experiencecarrots. We don’t know who Saga or Damien (now going by just “B”) is. But. Most of this has settled down.

EDIT TWENTY SIX - “Saga” was @firankamipinska. Still waiting for B.

EDIT TWENTY SEVEN - No closer to finding out B. A new day has started. Slavmaedanation has been created. They “declared war” against B. 

EDIT TWENTY EIGHT - @gayer-nagito-komeada was Rights. To be honest. I don’t know how we didn’t see that one coming. But. There you go. They’re Damien/B/Rights. Now it’s just Nation to figure out. 

EDIT TWENTY NINE - Nation is @firankamipinska. I’m not really surprised, probably because she told me she was Nation. Nation was essentially supposed to figure out who Damien was. I was too tired to give much of a shit. I woke up at 7 yesterday. I had no fucking spoons. Zero. 

FINAL EDIT - Four blogs, a discord server, a channel in a discord server, and many friends were made through the Slavmaeda experience. Thank you all for embarking on this crazy ass experience with us. I can’t believe that the day after my birthday, I helped create a meme. Have a nice day. 

[lilliryth]

🌔 Brief Hiatus 🌔

So, I’ve been inactive here for a while, now. Maybe around two months since I’ve really interacted with anyone, whether privately or openly, or just by reblogging something of theirs. But despite my absence, this blog isn’t dead. I want to take a moment to explain the situation to anyone who may be wondering where I’ve gone.

Before I say anything else: I just want to clarify, to those who might be worried, that I’m okay. I’ve been in a deep mental rut for a long time—the affects of which have branched out to all areas of my life—but I’m safe, and you don’t need to worry about me.

I’ll be brief with the personal stuff here, since I want to offer an explanation (not an excuse, you‘re allowed and entitled to be mad at me for this) for why I’ve been so distant, and ostensibly not interested in reconnecting; but I also don’t want to clog people’s dashboards with someone’s personal affairs if they don’t know me that well.

Basically, ADHD (mainly executive dysfunction) has taken me to some dark places lately. I’ve nearly lost things that I really fucking care about multiple times, by now. And as part of the reparation process—working through my own mental problems, and healing the damage they’ve caused—I’m afraid I’ll have to take a break from the online social world for a while. Another month, perhaps.

It’s hard, because I know that the people who know me privately, and have been left so completely in the dark, deserve a much more personal explanation and apology—and also because I miss everyone so much. But in order to have time to really mull over what I want to say, and work through these issues, so that they don’t cause any serious damage ever again, I need this time to myself.

I already went officially on hiatus on a private RP server that I belong to, and I’m doing that here as well. I went on hiatus in that server around twenty days ago, so I’ll have less time away from that (thirty days is the limit), but over here it’s going to be another full thirty days. Figure early October, I’ll be back.

I won’t be interacting with anyone on here. Maybe sometimes, sparingly, especially if I feel like reaching out is an urgent matter. But other than that, things will be a little quiet. It’s probably not going to be radio silence. I’ll be reblogging stuff every day, most likely. However, it’s only because I want to clear my drafts and likes out of things that I wanted to post but didn’t have the mental energy to. So even if I’m reblogging something and there’s a caption, or I’m speaking in the tags, I’m not really here—just hitting “post” on something I wrote a while back.

I believe one’s mental health is important, not for self-centric reasons only, but also for the way that unaddressed problems can cause strain in areas of the sufferer’s life that absolutely need to be stable, and by extension, strain on those whom the sufferer loves. I’ve lost friendships over this, and nearly lost friendships, as well as almost losing things that are deeply important to myself and crucial to my identity, more times than I can count. I have so many plans and dreams that I don’t want taken from me. That’s why I need this time to myself.

To anyone reading this—even if you don’t know me—listen to me here. Your brain is the driver of your vehicle. Neglect of your mental health is going to make life spiral out of control. And as someone who has fallen asleep at their own mental wheel on far too many occasions, and seen what it can do to a person when they refuse to acknowledge a problem, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. You are not a lost cause. Not only can this struggle be overcome, but in many cases, it must. I say this with love and understanding, I promise you that.

Mental health isn’t something only “hippies” and whiners worry about. It’s your brain. It’s real, it’s tangible, and I’d argue it’s not just as important as your physical health—it is your physical health. Because, like I said, the brain is the driver. It is the part of your physical body that keeps everything else literally in check. And even if you’ve got the best vehicle around, your driver can lose it all in the span of a second. Be kind to your driver, and don’t be irresponsible on this road that we all share. 

To anyone I interacted with (anyone who tagged me or responded to asks I sent in) that I haven’t followed up on: I promise I’m not ignoring you. I’ve read everything, and I plan on responding to it all properly when I get back.

To anyone whose acquaintance or friendship I made recently, only to seemingly fade out and stop responding: I miss you very very much. I have a lot of things that I want to say and do with you and I promise I haven’t abandoned you. I think about you every day, and my affection and good intentions are with you.

Lastly—to those who have been waiting on my outreach a great while, whom I haven’t been a proper companion to in too many months: I’m sorry, and I love you. I’ll be back. I want to do better. I really mean it.

I wish you the best of luck on your own journey, and I promise to be back—10/1/2020.

Until then. Take care of yourself, reader. You are imperative to your own world, and the worlds that others share with you.

—K.

[ashen-laguz]

I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO SEND IN FOR THE OC ASK MEME AND SHUT UP FOUR THIRTY AM IS A GOOD TIME TO REMEMBER. Pick whatever questions you want for each of these ocs: Matt, Nico, Amber, Lynette, Ebony, Ian.

lol wtf is sending shit in at a good time

also i’m fudging your order a little bit because I want siblings to get same questions for comparisons sake so it’s easier to ensure that if they’re just. Right next to each other. :3 

ALSO also i picked some questions myself but for most shit, i was lazy and just used a randomizer tbh

Matthew

3. What does their voice sound like?

I have a voice claim for him and I’m mad cause no one’s gonna fucking know…

but Akira Tsuchiya from Danganronpa Rebirth: Voices? That. That voice is about how I hear Matt in my head. Can’t be bothered to find a video to give a decent impression at the moment, but I’ll probably find one later when I throw a link to this ask at OC server..

Nyways though, for description since you can’t hear... he has a pretty monotone, deadpan voice. Not usually filled with much emotion or excessive infliction or anything. It’s not like.. deep monotone though. Wouldn’t call his voice HIGH perse, but it’s bit higher than you might expect from monotone voices at least. 

6. Do they have any frequent / recurring dreams?

Not normally, no :)

Post P5 RP? :)

Yeah he definitely starts to get a lot of nightmares. :)

Mostly a bit after the rp ends, when that guilt of betraying his friends and fear revolving around how fucked his dynamics with em are really hitting him hardest… probably fades after a bit, the nightmares getting less frequent, though they’d definitely start hitting really hard again whenever therapy finally helps him reach the epiphany of ‘hey what I was doing with the Holy Grail was wrong, and I don’t think I even agreed with em the whole time as much as I just thought I did cause they manipulated the fuck outta me’  :)

Holy Grail sure caused some terrible depressions and life-long PTSD for Matt :)

8. Are they a morning or a night person?

Night owl for sure. The quiet dark of the night… perfect for getting up to things with less risk of anyone finding out~

9. What do they do to relax?

Not relaxing. He relaxes by not relaxing.

…for real, Matt can’t just… sit still and do shit people think of as ‘relaxing.’ He gets very restless when just sitting around, as normal ‘menial’ or ‘ordinary’ tasks just aren’t stimulating for him. He has a lot of trouble just sitting to read, to watch tv, play games, or stuff like that cause it just… isn’t stimulating to him. He gets super restless and bored doing typically ‘relaxing’ shit. Which is fun because I’ve always thought of him being a restless guy who is happier keeping himself busy then he is just sitting around, but hey, having a hard time being stimulated is apparently an actual aspd thing, so… Another thing to add to the list of “symptoms he’s always had that i knew were part of his character but never knew meant he actually had a personality disorder!”

If he actually needs to just.. Relax or something, his first gut instinct is to go on a jog while listening to something. Music, podcast, audio book… Doesn’t matter too much. He likes to keep in shape, he loves track, and it’s something to be doing. An added element of something to listen to and focus on also is sort of his best means of really keeping up with any media shit without getting bored out of his wits, and it gives an extra bit of stimulation and something to be ‘doing.’ 

Just… Doing something with his hands is also generally pretty good too. Cooking, messing around with complex locks, and hands-on puzzles like a rubix cube or something are definitely best options, since they’re something to do that also requires a certain amount of thought and effort. Cooking is definitely a fave though since usually family will step in to help him out and so he also gets to spend time with them, which is definitely something he appreciates~

14. How organised are they?

Matt’s pretty damn organized, honestly. Not like… Neat-freak levels of organized, he’s definitely someone who will toss jackets or backpacks on the floor without a care, sure. But he’s got a lot of important stuff he doesn’t want people to just.. Find. Stuff he really wants to always know where it is. Those get neatly organized and locked/hidden for safety, and so if anything does happen to any of it, he will be able to tell soon as he looks in the spot its supposed to be in.

17. Are they on any medication?

Not by default, he’s a pretty physically healthy guy. Buuuuut in P5 RP, I do think he has to start taking some shit as soon as he starts getting therapy. It’s not unusual for folks who actually get help with aspd to get put on some mood-regulation stuff, plus, uh… holy grail stuff hit his mental health hard… So at the very least, he’ll probably have to take some antidepressants or something

29. Do they have a comfort food?

Olive’s got this really spicy chili recipe she only makes every now and then, usually just for special occasions that Matt just LOVES. Putting in a bit of cilantro and melted cheese, maybe bit of sour cream on top and just… dipping some corn bread into it… Has lots of good memories, and is definitely his favorite of his mama’s recipes… He and Ebony both have taken to making it if someone in the family is feeling particularly down and needs that pick-me-up, and dear god, it’s always one of the best pick-me-ups he can get. 

He’d never admit how much he loves it though. I mean, sure, people can know he really likes it, but he’ll never admit that it’s because it’s because it’s the ultimate feeling of ‘home’ in a single dish. 

30. Do they drink alcohol?

Occasionally, he might. When he does, he’s usually a pretty responsible drinker though. The idea of getting drunk is incredibly unappealing (lack of filter…? No thanks, Matt doesn’t wanna risk being the sorta drunk who winds up spilling all his secrets all over the place..) plus… well, he’s no health nut by any means, but he does care enough about health to not want to risk wrecking his kidneys drinking a lot. So he’s only ever drank in moderation. Got tipsy the first time he drank while trying to figure out limits, but now that he knows limits, has been careful to not get drunk again.

41. Have they ever committed a crime?

I dunno, has he~? ;3

47. What is their ‘type’?

I’ve decided Matt has a thing for redheads. This isn’t specifically because Luca, I just thought over some old Matt drafts that will stay locked in my mind for all of time, and... Dear god almost every boy I’ve ever pondered the idea of possible ship with Matt is a redhead. Can’t be a coincidence. Therefore it’s now canon. 

As far as personality goes…. someone who is definitely nice, decent enough person that he could theoretically introduce them to family without issues (he’s dated a lot of guys who would not fit into this, but he also has realized he don’t really like those guys, he just thought they were attractive and decently fun to hang out with, and ended things with em as soon as he realized “ah this won’t work out if they can’t meet family) yet not so much of goody-two-shoes, strict, uptight sort that they’d be annoyed with Matt’s… Matt-ness. Generally someone who is probably pretty easy and laid back, since they’d be the sort who fits into both of those things and is fun to hang out with and easy to get along with. 

Ebony

3. What does their voice sound like?

So I like thinking about OC voices a lot. So some of em? I actually have, uh, voice claims for. And Ebony is 100% one of my characters with a definitive voice claim. 

And her voice claim is Rachie, ok? Ok. Cool. Good. 

Her tone tends to be pretty energetic and cheery, but not like… Not to an obnoxious degree. Just very sweet and excited for everything to come~ Though her voice definitely starts to get a bit shakey and cracks a bit when she is nervous or anxious, which. Isn’t unusual because she’s got anxiety issues. so. 

6. Do they have any frequent / recurring dreams?

Every now and then, she’ll have a bad nightmare about the fire boy she came up with the plan to essentially kill, cause, well… It was necessary, she understands, but she still has a lotta guilt over it anyways. And the uh… that lil massacre that happened in mooshu kinda traumatized her for life. So she’ll have nightmares about that stuff every blue moon or so. Not super often, but still.

8. Are they a morning or a night person?

 Definitely more of a morning gal. There’s more time to do things throughout the day if you get up bright and early after all! ^w^

9. What do they do to relax?

Dance is her answer to everything, honestly. Gal just loves to dance, it’s fun and good and pretty and wonderful~

Along with that, cooking for sure. Baking especially. She loves food prep. Having something to do with yummy treats afterwards is just nice, good wonderful, and it makes people happy when they can eat it too! owo

She’s also a big magical girl fan, to be honest. She doesn’t watch tv often, but… sometimes… she just needs to binge some precure or something. It’s just fun and all the pretty magical girl dresses are so cute, and the friendship stuff is just so uplifting and great!!

14. How organised are they?

Very. She doesn’t like mess, so she keeps everything very neat and tidy and put in it’s spot all the time. Things might seem a little cluttered, with cute plush and posters and trinkets and stuff all over, but there’s an organization to it, everything is where it should be, probably sorted by color and size… Everything has a spot where it should be~ 

17. Are they on any medication?

Yes, actually! Ebony’s got some bad anxiety problems, and she has to take some anxiety meds for it-

…

Well. She takes anxiety meds in the P5 RP universe anyways. In the spiral, with how fucked up people get from all their issues just.. stewing and being left alone without any potential therapy helping out, I don’t really think there’s really good care for mental illness or anything there… I mean, come on, people just “haha, death kids are just Like That :) “ and quite a few of our characters throughout the years have definitely NEEDED some sort of mental help that they never got. So. I don’t think they’re good at helping that shit in spiral.  Don’t think she gets those anxiety meds there. 

Doesn’t have any sort of physical health issues though, just the anxiety, so. No other meds that she’d need.

29. Do they have a comfort food?

Baked goods in general. It’s why she bakes so often! Desserts yummy~ owo

30. Do they drink alcohol?

Not often, and definitely not enough to get drunk. Might have a little bit of the floofy stuff with a special dinner, or use a bit for cooking reasons, but she doesn’t wanna be the kid who gets home drunk and disappointing her parents doing so. 

41. Have they ever committed a crime?

Nah she’s a good kid, the model child. 

ignore killy au. she does nothing wrong there. nothing illegal whatsoever. nope.

murder is legal now, ok? ok. cool.

47. What is their ‘type’?

i don’t think she has a type tbh

if you’re nice and also pretty? ebony is in love with you. i mean i don’t think her standards are the lowest of all my ocs, but. her standards are still pretty low. 

Nico

1. Do they laugh at their own jokes?

Not verbally, cause any sort of speaking or noise burns like fuck, but. He’ll be grinning stupidly at his jokes behind his hood and bandages because he thinks his humor is the hottest shit. And then instantly deflate if no one else laughs. 

10. Are they very highly strung?

oh abso-fucking-lutely. Nico’s a mess of a boy He’ll be very cheery and friendly until things start going slightly wrong, or he realizes people maybe wanted him to do slightly different things, or people are even a bit upset… Then he goes into internal panic mode trying to figure out what the fuck to do so they’re happy with him again. 

13. How often do they shower?

You’d think someone who is like.. essentially just a rotting corpse wouldn’t care enough to keep clean anymore, but no, he still showers at least once a day. If anything, think he cares more about cleanliness now than he did before. Feels like he’ll really start rotting badly if he doesn’t stay very on top of taking care of himself, even if the dark magic shit Hazel uses to keep him alive is very good at doing most of the ‘ensuring he doesn’t deteriorate further’ shit, but…. He’ll get anxious as hell if he doesn’t do everything he can to stay in tip-top shape despite that, so he will always be squeaky clean 

21. Do they have a high pain tolerance?

hard to have a low pain tolerance if you can’t feel~

…But even before he was in his zombified state, yeah, he had a pretty high pain tolerance. He grew up in an area that’s… got a lot more monsters than the average place, to put it simply. Already was a bit better of a swordsman than the average kid his age when he became a mercenary, then when he finally escaped mercenary life, he was a skilled bodyguard for Hazel… Was always a fighter, and so of course he had high pain tolerance. 

28. What would they change about their life?

Literally none of his current life problems would have happened if he had just… Never been a mercenary in the first place, so he’d probably just. Change that decision. Would probably have lived a more peaceful life as the main guard keeping his small little home town safe from monsters and the like, which he’d probably be wayyy happier with than his current life.

32. What are their eating habits like?

Nonexistent! He doesn’t really NEED food for nutrition no more, and he can’t taste it anyways, so he just. Doesn’t eat. 

He misses the taste of yummy food a lot though ;w;

36. How do they usually dress?

He’s always been a fanciful dresser to some capacity; Maybe not as much in his mercenary days, mostly just because clothes were gonna get ripped and ruined on the job and replacing pretty clothes constantly was a hassle… But he’s always tried to dress with unique flair and style~ 

Used to be at least a little bit flashy, dapper sort of aesthetic.. but nowadays, he always opts for mysterious wizardy looks. He has to keep pretty covered up cause of his zombie-state, so might as well lean into the ‘covered up’ aesthetic and go full-on mysterious and cool! He does still like to return to dapper aesthetics when he has the chance though, fancy suits and stuff are so his thing it hurts. 

….also purple. Everything he wears must be purple. He’s never given real explanation of why past ‘it looks good on him’ but all his clothes are all purple, always.

43. What could be generally associated with them?

Illusions and ‘indestructibility.’  Those are the two main draws of him as a performer in Hazel’s circus after all, his incredible skill with illusion magic, and his apparent “invincible man” act. Could also just put performing here in general, since dear GOD he has a performer’s spirit, the goddamn attention whore, Death also could be an association. Because. Well. 

Zombie boy. He didn’t technically die but still.

45. Do they like public displays of affection?

So very much, yes. He just likes affection in general, and also he’s a goddamn attention whore and so PUBLIC affection that can get him more attention?? Good. Perfect. Wonderful.

Shut up Nico. 

49. How easily do they get attached to things?

Extremely easily. 

Way too easily. 

If you’re nice to Nico, he is already attached. 

Amber

5. Are they a light sleeper?

Nope! She’s narcoleptic, so she sleeps all the time, and she can and will and has slept through all sorts of bullshit. Has slept through lots of arguments and crash noises and all sorts of shit. You’re gonna have to put effort into waking her up once she crashes. Which…. happens a lot, so… Good luck with her.

6. Do they have any frequent / recurring dreams?

Yup! She just has a lot of dreams in general, to be honest. Not nightmarish quality dreams by any means, just… a lot of dreams. Happens when you’re asleep all the time. She never really remembers them, but few of em here and there do happen over and over.

11. Are they easy going?

I don’t think she has any concept of being anything besides easygoing, honestly. No need to worry about all the problems and details in life as long as you can eat good snacks, hang out with cool siblings, draw pretty pictures, and help dad with his work~

15. Do they keep track of their calendar?

Absolutely. She keeps track of, well… Really any types of notes she can get her hands on in general, really; calendars, little notes she takes herself as reminders, to-do lists, ect. It’s the only way to easily keep track of things when you have difficulty retaining memories. 

17. Are they on any medication?

Nahh. 

Due to her narcelepsy and amnesia issues, she’s probably had a lot of various types of care to see if there was something that could be done about that, which includes medicines, buuuut in the end, nothing was really able to help. So. She aint still on that shit. 

22. What’s the quickest way to upset them?

Take away Wyatt doll. She loves that little guy more then she loves life itself, and she WILL get pissed if you don’t let her have the doll at her side. If she loses him on her own it isn’t any big deal, cause she knows the mysterious little guy will pop up eventually, but… This is the one constant she’s had, the one sense of security she always has around and knows she can rely on, an essential part of her ability to heal people. Wyatt is extremely important to the girl.

24. How do they act when they’re upset?

well… emotional. She’ll probably bawl her eyes out and throw a tantrum until she gets all those feelings out, probably cry herself to sleep or something. 

Unless she’s more angry upset… where she’ll definitely still be throwing a tantrum and pout and whatnot, ya know, like you expect from an immature little kid. :p

26. Is your oc happy with their life?

Yup! Every universe she’s been thrown in isn’t.. quite the happiest of universes, or the happiest of life-circumstances. but due to immaturity of being pretty young, memory issues so she doesn’t really remember a lot of bad shit around her anyways… She’s more focused on the good things she does have! She loves her super cool and smart big bro Cyril, her loving big sis Melena, her really cool and wonderful dad, some really cool friends, her wonderful Wyatt doll, and she can help a whole lot with her dad’s medic job! Lots of reasons to be happy, as far as she can tell, and any reasons not to be happy with life don’t really stick in her mind anyways. 

29. Do they have a comfort food?

Ice cream owo

Don’t matter if it’s snowy and cold, she still loves her ice cream and wants her ice cream. 

35. How do they generally have their hair?

Default Amber has very very short hair, in a bit of a bob with some cute green ribbons in it. Nothing that’s all that hard for her to take care of. 

…despairverse where I have tended to rp her… holy shit her hair grows out so much. She had to start tying it up or else she’d trip on it. Ian gave her a bit of a haircut so it’d actually be more manageable, and it’s still not SHORT perse, still long, but at least it’s manageable. Stays long now. However it also stays in long pigtails, cause those are cute as fuck. 

Lynette

3. What does their voice sound like?

….I don’t have a voiceclaim for her, heck…

Well, she’s got a very soft, kind sounding voice; friendly, sweet, very inviting. Perfect for her goody-two-shoes nature.

5. Are they a light sleeper?

Nnnnope!! Very heavy sleeper! Once she’s comfy in bed? She is OUT. And she will also hug and cuddle anything near her in her sleep so maybe keep your distance if you don’t want a cute girl hugging you while-

…

Actually that’s a very good thing, isn’t it….

8. Are they a morning or a night person?

Morning for sure. She wants to get into teaching, and so has to be fully prepared to get up for early-morning classes, so she’s never really let herself be much of a night owl.

12. What are they like when they’re angry?

Probably just the literal embodiment of “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed” most of the time. Usually she won’t show more than that with anyone besides like… Ian. She’s gotta poke fun at Ian or chew him out when needed though, that’s what big sisters are for. 

If you actually get her pissed off, she will get very passive aggressive, snappy… Not necessarily outright yell-y, but honestly? Even though she’s tiny and not even loud, it’s probably the scariest anger if just because you made sweet, kind lil Lynette pissed off. 

16. Do they have a diary or a journal?

not consistently, but if she needs to keep track of anything specific, she’ll write about it in a journal, or through poetry or something. It’s a good way to sort out your thoughts, but not necessarily something she feels a need to always be doing. 

30. Do they drink alcohol?

Nahh. It doesn’t reflect well in professional settings if she shows up drunk, so she just refrains from drinking entirely. Also she likes the ability to be designated driver if other people are getting drunk, cause hey, someone’s gotta stay sober to be able to drive. 

32. What are their eating habits like?

She keeps a pretty good, consistent meal schedule; Breakfast with family not long after she gets up, lunch at around noon, dinner at 7… Usually pretty balanced diet too, though she’s got a big sweet tooth and can’t help but to snack on desserts between meals sometimes. Also is absolutely in need of a floofy frap when she heads out any morning. There’s a nice starbucks near her house, so like.. even if she’s staying home for the day, she will stop by there and grab one.

41. Have they ever committed a crime?

Nope! Lynette’s records are squeaky clean!

48. Have they ever been in a serious relationship?

Nope. She’s always been more focused on family and on studies then potential relationships. She values friendship and familial relationships a lot more than romantic ones, honestly, and has always figured she has higher priorities than trying to date, so… she just doesn’t. Not that she has anything against the idea, but… hasn’t met anyone she really has developed strong feelings for, and so doesn’t think it’s worth the trouble. 

49. How easily do they get attached to things?

….Siblings be emotional and empathetic as hell.

So the answer is ‘very easily.’

She will be attached once she has talked to you for exactly five minutes, and then you will probably never lose her friendship so long as you are not outright malicious.

Have fun with that if you make the mistake of talking to her.

Ian

3. What does their voice sound like?

Natewantstobattle is and always will be the Ian voiceclaim, NEXT-

5. Are they a light sleeper?

Siblings sleep the same.

He is a heavy sleeper and he hugs anyone near him, as he craves physical affection. So.

8. Are they a morning or a night person?

Ian is absolutely a creature of the night. The mornings are his arch enemy. If he wants to be alive in the morning, he needs fifty billion cups of coffee and that’s that.

12. What are they like when they’re angry?

He tries not to get like… ANGRY angry a lot of the time, but when he does?

Oof. 

Ian’s like… One of my most emotionally-charged ocs, if not the most emotionally charged oc. If he’s genuinely mad, he is MAD. He will argue and yell and scream, and tbh, depending on how things escalate, probably will get a bit violent even. Most of the time he has the sense to walk off and blow off steam by punching inanimate objects. But he has definitely been in fights before…

16. Do they have a diary or a journal?

Nahh. He gets his feelings and thoughts out through music; if it’s through words, it’s lyrics, not writing his thoughts in any kind of diary. Not his style. 

30. Do they drink alcohol?

On occasion. He’s usually a pretty responsible drinker though. Thanks to Alex’s bad drinking habits, he’s pretty uncomfortable with the idea of getting like… Really drunk, and so usually knows to stop himself once he starts getting a bit tipsy. He’s had times where he didn’t think to stop and winded up black-out drunk, buuuut that’s pretty rare, he’s usually good and doesn’t get more than “just too drunk to drive but not so drunk as to impede common sense that much.”

32. What are their eating habits like?

….His meal schedule is consistent when he is home. I can give him that much. Easy to keep it consistent when family is making meals at consistent times. 

When he lives out on his own though, or is out and about and has to grab his own meals? He accidentally reverts to ‘I’ll eat when I’m hungry’ which is valid and fair, to be honest. He makes a solid attempt to keep his diet pretty balanced, but like… He absolutely is prone to just grabbing junk food a lot if it’s more convenient, it’s cheaper and easier when you’re not gonna do any of the cooking or prep yourself after all. 

41. Have they ever committed a crime?

..Nooooo…. no crimes have ever happened here… ever….

no please excuse me as I just… quickly go get rid of that murder backstory in SC…. Ian never did anything wrong…

48. Have they ever been in a serious relationship?

Yes. Most of his dating has been casual stuff, but Ian’s pretty much on the hunt for some sorta lasting love, as the idea of just being alone his whole life is terrifying, so… He’s definitely had at least a few serious relationships. And, well, his relationship with Charles definitely got pretty serious too, so.. ;3

49. How easily do they get attached to things?

….Siblings be emotional and empathetic as hell. 

So the answer is ‘very easily.’

He will be attached once he has talked to you for exactly five minutes, and then you will probably never lose his friendship so long as you are not outright malicious. 

Have fun with that if you make the mistake of talking to him. 

[sasslightertm-a]

ooookay, so, some bullshit™ happened earlier this past week and I’m annoyed and pissed. incoming rant/vent under the cut (with screenshots used by permission).

As most of you who have been following me long enough probably know by now, there is a Charmed Discord server and I was in it for a while until I left in early January 2019, for reasons that will be discussed later. The main mod runs a few Charmed rp blogs here on Tumblr, we did have a few threads planned out together, and eventually after I left the Discord server it got to a point where I felt uncomfortable seeing her posts on my dash so I quietly unfollowed and deleted our thread I’d had in my drafts (which had been sitting there for months by this point anyway because I am slow af). Shortly after I unfollwed her, she unfollowed me without so much a message of “Would you be interested in continuing any threads?”.

This mod, while I was in the server, also created a venting/ranting group Google doc against another Charmed roleplayer who has been around for years and had been in the server as well but also left for much the same reasons I later did (namely, feeling unwelcome within the server). (The Google doc has since been deleted, I believe.)

Which brings me to the main point of this post. One of my close friends/mutuals noticed this mod and the roleplayer starting to interact again when both of them had unfollowed each other for months beforehand after the mod decided this roleplayer was Toxic™.

Uh-huh, sure, I find it very hard to believe you told her about the call-out Google doc and everything in it and she was perfectly understanding about it. I also have yet to hear an apology at all from this mun when 1) the most we would do is talk OOC anyway; 2) my Chris and Bilie were constantly ignored despite me showing interest in some of her wishlist ideas; and 3) any threads we did have would only get two replies in if I was lucky and were then dropped. So I unfollowed ages ago and moved on with other mutuals, and at this point it’s honestly not worth it.

And no, sorry, the server was not inactive when I left it back in early/mid January. Everyone was either in the general, headcanons, or venting channels And yes, any time anyone responded to me it was because I or my friend had said something they wanted to argue with or turn into a headcanon about their own next-generation muses. Also? For all y’all would squee over white US-American YouTuber cover artists or Korean boybands (despite none of you speaking a word of Korean), or the mod occasionally slipping into Arabic and then translating when one of us would ‘???’, the instant I try and share a cover by an amazing Turkish musical-theater singer who speaks German and does German-language musicals (said cover was in English, by the way), or the instant I would talk about something I learned in one of my German classes (despite most of my ancestry being, y’know, German [and for the record, said German ancestors came over to the States in the 1800s, so don’t even go there])... dead silence. 

1) oh my gods I’m howling. Thanks for admitting most of the people in the server hate me just because they found my fanfiction and that I like to write dark-themed fics and smut. Out of curiosity, was it one of my FF.net accounts (my main, my Charmed-fic-centric one, or my dark!AU Tenth Doctor-fic-centric one) or was it my AO3? (Also way to go for basically admitting that yup, you’re all a bunch of antis and really be drinking the evangelical fundamentalist Christian purity culture Kool-Aid.)

and btw, saying “complete transparency?” like that is just code for “I’m about to be a petty bitch and you’re not going to want to hear it, but too late.”

also, what, like none of you have ever wanted to write kinky smutty fanfic just because it’s fun and lets you work out various fantasies that may or may not be inherently transgressive? as far as I’m aware I was one of maybe two other people in that server who identify as asexual so don’t even try and say any of youse are sex-repulsed aces.

my smutfic isn’t even that kinky, but go off, I guess

tbh they also probably hate me bc I called them out over their misuse of the word “pedophilia” in regards to this one particular scene in a teen drama TV show between fictional teenage characters being portrayed by adult actors that airs on a network aiming for a 18 to 49-year-old demographic, and the mod and I would disagree over various things concerning US-American Wicca, but hey, it’s easier to just go after my fanfiction and say they hate me because of the fanfics, right?

speaking of that scene they were so up-in-arms about, don’t even try and tell me real-life allosexual teenagers are not horny and don’t have sex with other teenagers, because coming from a state with one of the highest rates of teen pregnancy (where more often than not both would-be parents are teenagers of or around the same age), I will not believe you

like, seriously, do NONE of you remember ever being horny and hormonal as a teenager, or...? 

2) Stop trying to make this an argument that needs to be won, because it isn’t. Also? By the time I left the Charmed Discord server didn’t even feel like a Charmed server anyway, so. There’s that.

3) My friend is right and she should say it.

A few things here: 

How does any of that sound accusatory when it’s true and my friend calmly laying out how she felt about the situation??

Again, stop trying to make this into an argument or personal attack because it isn’t. And not every single conversation is a debate that needs to be won.

“I was half joking”, uh-huh, yeah, riiiiight. Also? How is it any of your business how she decides to run her blog and curtail it so she feels safe on her own dash??? Especially when you don’t even follow or interact with her anymore?? Hell, I softblock people myself who are either inactive and just taking up my follower account, or are personal/fandom blogs who I just don’t want interacting with me. And if you follow me but don’t make any motion to interact, then yeah I’m probably going to softblock you too after posting a heads-up that I’ll be cleaning out my follower count.

And the best part??? Immediately after all this the mod/mun made a post on her blog saying how she doesn’t put up with passive-aggressiveness or manipulation. How the fuck is my friend/mutual being passive-aggressive or manipulative???? 

I’m sorry, but no, you do not get to do that. I see what you did there, and it is not okay. And I am glad I don’t have to deal with any of this mun’s bullshit anymore, or most of the people in the server, apparently. They blocked me solely because they found my kinky darkfic? Fine, great, it’s not like any of them ever interacted with any of my muses anyway and I don’t want to deal with them either. (But also... I made it clear on the server that I also write a dark eldritch!AU Tenth Doctor from Doctor Who and they all knew I have a sideblog for the canon evil version of Chris Halliwell so how exactly was it a surprise that I like writing fanfiction with darker themes and grey areas?)

Anyway, no, that language used on my friend was not called for at all. Neither was trying to make her out to be the aggressor when anyone who’s chatted with her OOC for long enough knows that even doing this much is hard emotionally for her. This was also not an argument that absolutely had to be won so quit trying to turn everything into an argument to make yourself look better. And ooh, boy, tone policing on top of that. That last response was classic “I know you’re right but I don’t want to admit it so I’m just gonna say something to make myself look like I came out on top.”

Nah. 

There’s the door. Make sure it hits you on the way out.

[swampgallows]

for the first time in a while, at least a month, i woke up screaming again. i fell asleep around 4, which i was proud of, feeling myself slowly sliding back toward a preferred schedule. lately i’d still been falling asleep at 6am but would wake up a bit earlier, getting fewer hours but at least seeing more sunlight. the urge to hurt myself yesterday was strong, but luckily there are understanding and generous people in my life to ease me through it, and i am beyond thankful. 

two things have happened.

one, an old face from my previous WoW server has resurfaced and sought me out specifically. a different friend had namedropped them out of nowhere, but was also drunk and wouldn’t extrapolate on why he had mentioned it. he just said the character’s name, then drunk-dialed me a bunch of times until i picked up and then had their “gay roommate” scream across the room that “asexuals aren’t lgbtq!”, then hung up.

but anyway the old face returned. we’ll call them “Pockets” because it’s 7am and I’ve barely slept and so i’m pullin raver names out of my ass. I met Pockets back on thobro in 2006ish. we’re the same age, and so we’ve known each other for a fairly long time and kind of grew up alongside each other. Pockets eventually got into a relationship with...I guess we’ll say “Dizzy”. Now, Dizzy lives very far away from Pockets. Pockets lives in America, like me, and Dizzy lives in Australia. But as the capabilities of the internet were improving every day (especially with the advent of internet telephony like skype at the time) it was easier than ever to sustain a long-distance relationship. But by the time I had quit WoW in early 2009, Pockets and Dizzy’s relationship had not progressed as one should have. For instance, Pockets had barely seen any pictures of Dizzy. While they chatted all the time, at that point they hadn’t yet had a webcam chat. It had been some years of constant companionship, yet they never had a plan to meet. But that was fair, I thought, since Pockets and I were only 16 in 2006, so planning that thing was kind of difficult. But by 2009, we were 19, and Dizzy was a bit older in the first place, so surely two people who loved each other would want to meet irl, right?

But Pockets said they respected that Dizzy wasn’t so open about their looks or personal life, etc. Okay. Pretty big red flags, though, if someone you’ve spent almost every waking moment with for three years is being this conservative about their identity. They were prominent characters in most of the server’s RP, so there was a lot of talk. “Maybe Dizzy is like... WAY older than they say, and they don’t want to admit it.” “Maybe Dizzy isn’t the gender they say they are.” “Pockets will get fed up with this eventually—they’re young! They can’t just wait around forever.”

So Pockets found me in game, yesterday, and had transferred to WRA, where a lot of thobro refugees (like myself) ended up. And they sought me out specifically because they remember my friendship with them, and that I had known them (and the rest of our community) all that time ago. And Pockets told me, yesterday, that Pockets and Dizzy had finally broken up. They had stopped talking for about two weeks, and for about two solid weeks, Pockets was staring down the cavernous hungry maw of suicide. “Everything was just... so quiet.”

They must have been fucking married by now, I thought. Either way, it had been over ten years! I knew Pockets was taking it really hard. Except... Dizzy and Pockets never met.

Not once. Not once in over ten fucking years of being in a relationship did they ever meet. And Dizzy had actually been to America a handful of times throughout the relationship. Yet Dizzy never went to meet Pockets.

I don’t know what the rest of the situation was like. If they video-chatted every day, if they called each other all the time, or whatever. Regardless of how you look at it or what the situation with Dizzy was, Pockets was catfished and abused for over ten fucking years. “It’s my fault. I should have left when [etc. etc.] happened...” Pockets told me that they hadn’t even seen end-game content past Cataclysm, despite playing WoW the entire time. Dizzy never wanted to do any of it, but would get upset if Pockets did it without them. So all Pockets did from Cataclysm onward was PVP, and once they reached the top achievements, felt there was nowhere else to go from there and stopped. Dizzy only wanted to play alts and quest. No raids, no PVP, no dungeons even. Just running around and questing, and preventing Pockets from doing any of that content. When someone you have never even fucking met is controlling the way you play a video game and what permissions you have within the game that you pay monthly to play, something is wrong.

Pockets knew they were lacking confidence. They were so lonely and so latched on that they let Dizzy run the show. And Dizzy barely cared. Pockets knew they basically only existed when it was convenient for Dizzy, but outside of that, they were nothing. I felt that about halfway through my relationship with my ex qp, and shared those feelings with Pockets. It took so long to break away and I held on past everything, past my own pain and self-torture, because I had some kind of hope that things would change. And part of me, an insidious part, said that this was the best I was going to get. After all, I’m some broken asexual idiot—”I should be so lucky,” the words rang out in my head, yellowed and worn but enduring and broadcasting itself loud and vivid over and over for years and years and years, tattered even during my childhood, “I should be thankful,”—and this person was my best friend. I should take the affection in the times I could get it. I should just accept that they will want other people sexually because I cannot provide that, and my best friend has a right to be sexual, and they are being so generous by fixing me with their limp novice dick. 

So I bit it back and squashed it down and even after asking six times and getting no answer, “Do you have a problem with hurting me?” it took them falling into the pit of legitimate white supremacy and Nazism for me to finally let go. And I had tried a number of times but felt myself being pulled back, and they, too, were so desperate for some sense of power in their shitty meaningless life (if that wasnt obvious), so lacking initiative and direction that when i floated back upstream, they took it in stride like every other aspect of existence, as if i were just some trash that floated down the river that they, some huge, slack-jawed bloated fish, gobbled up regardless. I existed only when it was convenient for me to exist, and the moment I started being consumed by my anxiety, getting combative, demanding more affection, more outward recognition, I was gaslit and told, literally, word for word, in fun little tumblr doublespeak, “Your feelings are valid, but this is all based on things within your head.” me coming to my QP and saying, “I feel like you dont care about me because I keep asking to hang out and you’re completely ambivalent about it, and when i asked you, ‘Do you want to see me?’ you said ‘You can visit if you want,’. It’s a yes or no question. Do you want to see me?” DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HURTING ME? and then being told it’s “all in my head”, it’s a perceived disinterest. YES, that is what I’m perceiving, which is why I’m trying to address that you are not giving me enough attention and acknowledgment for someone you claim to care about! But obviously, it was me that was the problem, because i was daring to exist outside those convenient parameters. If you didnt want to fuck me right now then what was I even doing breathing your air?

And I’ve been thinking about them a lot because it was around this time 3 years ago that i had started my job, which i had to quit, and had also had a falling out with them, and was mourning that loss. as well as a, in retrospect, MUCH LARGER LOSS of tokin, who had taken his own life that same week. so i tried to turn it into a new beginning, doing my job and being appreciated, but eventually i crawled back and, one-sided as usual, tried to mend things with the QP. But it didnt matter to them. I didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. “Oh well,” was their shitty little trademark. Yeah buddy, life is fucking just happening to you and you’re stuck in one place without even a dream of things getting better, or worse, just taking things as they are, apathetically, without interest, wanting for nothing except to fuck girls but not enough to do anything about it, only if they’re delivered to your doorstep.

So here’s the second thing that happened.

Yesterday was coming out day, and a sort of friend-of-a-friend posted their story on facebook. I read it this morning upon waking up.

She mentioned her living situation and how she was living with other women who promised that they would help her, which is, in her words, “a huge red flag”. She says things settled into a routine, and eventually the big problem that she needed help with fell to the wayside in the wake of all of the smaller, but more prolific things: “focused on other fires, both making and putting them out.” She talks about the time she wasted living with these women and how she was “on the edge again”. She trusted people she loved and that loved her to help her, and they couldn’t. But then, after hitting a very low point, she had a breakthrough:

I did something I'm not sure I'd ever done before in my life: I took the initiative to help myself. I researched, found, and made an appointment with a therapist who specialized in this sort of thing. I worked through a tremendous amount of repression. I did mental exercises to actively re-wire my brain, and unlearn my unhealthy coping mechanisms. It was painful.

And then, she wrote this:

Maybe my point is that you can't entrust your journey (ugh, hate that term) to anyone else. You can't let other people tell you who you are or are not. No matter how much you love and trust someone, they cannot do the work for you. They can facilitate it, as [redacted] failed to do, but in the end, it's you... get help, get the best and most objective and impartial help you can, do not let yourself be held hostage by people or environments or your own fucking apathy which benefit from you being inert.

When someone you love offers you help, it's normal to want to take the help, and oftentimes you should. But sometimes, it's too much to give, or they have their own problems or motives, and the help is unreasonable to expect. Do not turn yourself over to someone. Deal with these things on your own terms. Define the terms by which you exist. I lost two fucking years of my life...because I believed that someone else could and would do it for me.

But at least I'm there now. You can get there, too.

I do not know how I can start this journey. I have been trying for ten years, but I have very little direction or resources. I’ve spent the last... god, I guess 8 years, just trying to keep my head above water. Basically since my second year of college, all I’ve really done is survive, and the only times I felt truly alive and like myself were within the rave scene. So I have been clinging to that, and it is a definitive part of me, because it helps me breathe. I don’t think it is “holding me back” because I am not heading anywhere. But I have spent so long gasping for air that I’m almost nauseous from taking a breath. Since I was really young I have cared about electronic music, somewhat in defiance of my live musician parents [drum machines have no soul], and going to thunderdome in a week (!!!) or so is like a pilgrimage to gabber mecca, but also a kind of zenith. 

where do i go from here? I’ve said I want to DJ just because parties dont play the music I want to hear, but within the last few years I have felt myself so plugged up and insecure that I don’t know what I want. I’m too old to be precocious and have lost some of my identity in that way because of it. Now that I’m getting older, I feel like I don’t have permission to be new at things. But I have been restrained by permission my whole life. I have earned money yet i’m not allowed to pay for things. I earned my driver’s license by myself yet i’m not allowed to leave my house. i am controlled by my mother’s desperation and neediness and guilt, and by my father’s disconnect and judgment. I am controlled by my siblings’ apathy and my friends’ disappointment in me. i am afraid of not being perfect because then my parents won’t want me, so i put off things that i even want to do and i fear messing up, fear not acquiescing, fear not providing something expected of me, because i will be hurt.

but ultimately i am constrained by my own fears, my fear of pain. i am hurt by the thought that my parents don’t love me and that, to them, i just exist when convenient also, only when they can brag about me, only when they need something done. “I’m worried you don’t get out enough,” my mom says, but all she can offer are words because her heart is closed. she loves by worrying, by stifling, by pity. and i dont want to continue that. i dont want my love to be just good intentions. i want it to be good actions. love, love is a verb.

“I took the initiative to help myself. ... It was painful.”

There is a lot of red tape between my life and my parents’ control. and sometimes doing any action is so exhausting that I cannot do anything for the rest of the day. But I don’t want to be Pockets, waiting for the people who control me to start loving me actively, to have faith in their control benefiting me somehow. I’ve done it before by getting my license by myself. It was slow, and agonizing, and incredibly difficult and drawn-out, but I have it, and it’s mine, and my mom “felt bad”, but I can’t care. Now it’s just a matter of literally getting out the door, without the inquisition, without the mire of their guilt. I am genuinely starving, living on bread and half-expired milk and soda, because I am tired of making my mom cry by asking her to buy things, or coming home with things that, if I had only asked, she would have gotten for me.

I am not asking anymore. I am just going to go get things myself. It will make her cry. She will cry that she is “obsolete”, and that she has “no purpose”, and that she “lives for her kids”, and it will be painful. Like Pockets, I have wasted over ten years of my life banking in good intentions, on the trust that people who love me will help me. Or the trust that even people who are paid to help me will help me. 

"Do not turn yourself over to someone. Deal with these things on your own terms. Define the terms by which you exist."

Asexuality is a term that has helped. It gave me more agency in my verbs, of making a command decision about how I approach sexuality, whereas before I was giving myself, in every imaginable interpretation of the phrase, over to someone else. It hurts that I have to fight so much, that I must fight constantly for personhood, even from those who claim they would do anything to give it to me, even from those who physically did give me personhood. 

For my entire life I have thought my bloodline cursed. I have lived beneath the shadow of my father's greatest failure. I hated him for what he had done. I hated him for the burden he left me. But now... You have shown me truths that I would have never known. You and your allies have gifted me with something that cannot bear a price: Redemption. Thrall, redeemer of the Mag'har, you honor me as none ever have... On this day, a great burden has been lifted from my chest. My heart swells with pride. And for the first time, I can proudly proclaim who I am. I can finally unleash the fury in my heart. 

As long as I know what I stand for, even if I don’t know what I want or how to get it, I can get there. Because I’ve done it before.

When the bread was finished, the tired little red hen asked her friends, “Who will help me eat the bread?” “I will,” barked the lazy dog. “I will,” purred the sleepy cat. “I will,” quacked the noisy yellow duck. “No!” said the little red hen. “I will.” And the little red hen ate the bread all by herself.

Not that I even have my first tattoo yet, but if I ever get a second one, it should be a little red hen on my wrist. It can be my personal shorthand for “take it easy, but take it”. 

[enigmatic-elegance]

Mas’ list of people you should absolutely be following.

A bit long, but these are the people who absolutely deserve praise. Either for their work, their writing, or just for who they are. This is by no means an exhaustive list, nor is this a list of the only people I respect and admire. If anything, it is a baseline to show a sample of some of the amazing people in this community. For privacy sake, I won’t use IRL names where I know them. I’ll just go by character/blog names.

Betty [[@bethannyleeder @gilneanrose]]

First off, if there was a crown for walk up RP, this woman would be wearing it 24/7. She can enter just about any setting and own it, and not only that but she can make a whole room feel included too. I’ve seen her convert whole taverns from a bunch of people standing off in corners doing nothing to a whole table surrounded by laughing players. She makes others come alive, and that’s not something that many RPers can do, at least not so naturally as she can.

But what’s more, she’s one of my closest friends. My guild would not exist were it not for her. She helped me back on my feet after a bad guild, and gave me the strength to pick up and chase my own dream here on WrA. I owe all of my guild, my friends in this game, in no small part to her.

Despite the fact that we are both loud mouths, I love this gal. She will go out of her way for you, and guarantee one hell of a ride on the way both in writing and story evolution. Proud to call her my officer and my friend.

Stab [[@grannyshanny]]

I wish for one second this dude could see himself how I do, and how the rest of the guild does too. Some people write their characters, some people make them, and some select few pour their heart into them. They put their own love, their own emotion, their own life-giving breath into their characters to where they stop being characters and they feel alive. This is what Stab does, and he does it with such abandon that it’s inspiring to the insanity of the writer’s mind.

He shares my love of storytelling, he shares my love of creation, and all in all if that was not enough, this kid will put it all down for anyone. He has a calming presence that can make you feel like it’s all going to be okay. Even if you don’t know, even if he does not know, you feel okay with him around. He’s been through it, and will help you through it too when needed.

Biggest goddamn heart in a smol body. Love this guy.

Wolf [[@eldricceverton]]

In terms of pure writing talent, this guy ranks up there for me. Get him into a one on one RP, and he will blow your mind not only in the sheer volume of his posts/stories, but also with how well it all flows. He etches a picture out that you can follow and engage, and I’ve never been in an RP with him that felt stagnant.

Moreso, the dude is like a personal body guard. He will throw down for his friends, and throw down hard. He sticks up for those he cares for, just like his character, and that is loyalty to a rare degree. It’s encouraging to know people like him still exist.

Mahat [[@the-elf-mahat]]

When I first met Hat, I fell in love with the character. Fun, energized, and all around brilliant. But as I got to know her, I saw it to be just the tip of the iceberg. Beneath the shy exterior lies one of the most caring souls I know. She thinks about things in ways even I sometimes forget. She’s in tune with the way people feel, think, and express themselves on such an intuitive level that it borders on empathic.

She is honest, will tell you when she thinks you are right and when she thinks you are wrong. But it’s always done in such a respectful and gentle manner that it is powerful and moving. She’s given me pause at times, and I feel I’m a better person from her influences.

To say nothing for her writing. I don’t catch her in game nearly as much as I’d like, due to work, but the times we have RPed she can twist emotion and word into a poetic symphony.

Soap [[@soapiewhitacre]]

This lil love has recently hit a bit of a writing rut. And I know those can be one hell of a time to get out of. That does not change, however, the sheer quality they have brought to the table thus far. Their character Sophie is a gem, and every interaction with her feels so full of life and vibrant that I just can not help but wear a smile when I’m writing with them.

She’s like a cloud break on a rainy day.

Sheep [[@thebattlesheep]]

Sheepy was a bit of a gamble when we first met, for personal reasons. And if anyone alive is a perfect reason why one should not hold prejudice, it is her. Ria has absolutely put time and love into this guild, and into all of the members too. What’s more, she’s absolutely overflowing with affection and care. It’s palpable when you speak to her. You feel heard, you feel cared for, you feel important and you feel loved. That alone just makes me want to be around her, even if we are not RPing.

But for real girl you gotta do the bakery more. I love that shit. <3

Vel [[@kingofthewolves]]

Fuckin love this kid.

Him and I started really writing together in earnest only about..a bit under a year ago. Since then, he’s elevated the standard I hold for myself when I write relationship RP, and even all forms of RP. I feel encouraged to always write my best with him, and feel compelled to push myself to better forms of wording if only to mark myself up more and more in their view.

But moreso, they have shown extreme patience, understanding, and friendship. A sort of person I wish lived closer so I could buy them a drink or twenty. They are a loyal friend, an ally, and a damn good person all around.

Brooke [[@firebiter @brooke-it]]

A new friend, but one I am happy to call friend. It started with me drawn to the way they RP. And one night we spent a few hours talking and I saw there was a really, really amazing person there too. Someone I’m honestly looking forward to getting to know more and more through talks and through RP.

Addie [[@addie-the-pirate]]

Relatively new to WrA, but dove right into the guild and into the goings on. Engaging, supportive, and always pushing and striving for the story or for the next event. Their hunger for content is refreshing, and they will be the first to dive headfirst into a plot. They are a GM’s best friend, and beyond that, they have shown to be a good friend too. Nothing but positive from them.

Xana [[@xana-the-witchhearted]]

They have been a part of this guild almost as long as the guild has been a thing. Early on, they proved to be a good writer and an all around sweet person. But then I got to know them more and more. Behind the calm and relatively subtle exterior is one of the single most genuine sweethearts I’ve ever met. They absolutely light up my world just by saying hello, and any time I’m even the slightest bit upset they are the first to message me to ask if I’m okay. Often times..they have been the only one to even notice, which shows just how in tune they are with others.

These three nerds [[@the-news-nerd @risrielthron @percy-dewdancer]]

All in my category of ‘fuck why have we not RPed more!?’ All three I’ve only spoken to on a personal level a few times, and RPed with a few times too though each time it’s been amazing. The reason they are all here together on this list is..these three I think represent the same heart for this server that I have.

All three of them have heard me gripe, and have shared their own too, but what’s most important is all three have shown me they love this place. They put it all on the line here, when they don’t have to. What’s more, I’ve seen them all take shit for it and still they press on when a lot of folk would give up and say ‘fuck it’. And that takes dedication and love to do.

If you want to see the best of what WrA has to offer, you’d be hard pressed to find better then these three right here.

Coldwall

There are too many of you to tag, and too many I’ve not mentioned here who still deserve so much praise. I won’t turn this into a gush over my guild, but if you are with us here in this family, know you are the strength that I carry with me into fires and the love I show to all of my patients. You all have made me a better person, day by day, and you continue to inspire me with your astounding writings and your love for one another. Never stop being the people you all are.

To this server

There are some amazing people on this server. Too many to list. Too many to tag. These people have impacted me, but all of you here on WrA have pushed me to write better and improved me both in game and IRL. You’ve given me stories that have made me laugh and cry, and memories I’ll carry for all of my life. I like to think the adventure has only just begun, and I can not wait to meet, RP with, and grow with all of you in the months/years to come.

[denkilightning]

hi, if i may add, id say its more of accidental worldbuilding situation, especially since lots of dnf happened in the before tommy era i. e. "there was no rp at the time but its canon" so most of the interactions from that time can be considered smp! dnf

we had (this is v out of any order cus its all off the top of my head sry if i mess sth up):

the entire server starting with dream and george which is kinda gay in itself ngl /lh

the entire "tell me you love me" bit started and like,, continues (if you count any "<3"/"no"-esque interaction as continuation) on the smp, so its safe to assume smp! dnf share the sentiment

when dream started building the wall and like there was this big argument quackity reffered to george as dream's boyfriend ("how do we know your little boyfriend isnt lying?" - paraphrasing)

the dream rider the trident bit in exile

"he definitely cares about george" said by /tommy/ after /the/ "i dont give a fuck about the only levarage you could have on me" speech. dream's affection for george is an unmovable object, its clear even for smp! tommy who has every right to dismiss anything considered good about dream (one could argue dream's affection is an unmovable object in and out of the smp... not the point tho lol)

that one time where dream lets george hit him back to be even while being all lovey dovey about it summed up with tommy's "you two have a strange relationship" and dream saying "well..." (i have no idea where this one is from i saw it from clips only, if anyone knows where its from pls tell-)

dream first crowning george with literally no prompting and then dethroning him when george asked (do not at me that this is the meta explanation and not the in-character one, we have no george lore hence its also the smp! george explanation)

before the lmanbergs war of independence when the dream squad (dream, george, sapnap and punz) were preparing at punz house dream gave george netherite ingot, which yknow, in-love behavior.

im sure there are many more things i forgot about, but yeah id say its pretty heavily implied that theyre either partners (platonic or romantic - who cares) or that at least they have feeling for each other

Wait, I don’t keep up with the lore but is it actually canon that c!Dream has a crush on c!George? Or is it one of those things that’s “practically canon”?

I mean... Dream’s never said it but there’s been many instances like this where Tommy or someone else will say, in lore, that Dream either talks about George a lot or that George is Dream’s weakness. So in my mind it’s canon, but Dream’s never confirmed.

[nekhs]

empty rambling

title

I haven’t written lately much, and that’s probably because I’m just tired - that’s a lie, it’s the depression, you fucking know it’s the depression.

It’s just nicer to say ‘I’m tired.’

I’ve been off my meds for ages now (like a few months) and mostly I do fine. Mostly I’m almost productive. Mostly.

And then it’s six in the morning and idleness hits me like a ton of bricks and there’s no one - literally no one - I feel comfortable talking about My Bullshit to who’s around, so I’m here, writing this, not that it matters, this is stupid.

The bottom drops out of my emotional state and ‘sort of okay’ gives way to ‘hey so that existential despair’s still going strong.’

Good to know.

I should try to set up any kind of goal at all. Just one. Something to work toward that’d have a finished product of ... something. Everyone’s after mounts or outfits or housing or whatever, and I just ... don’t. On the rare occasion I get anything for myself it’s an impulse buy and I regret it for the impulsivity and the fact that I didn’t need that, not really.

It’s just, I don’t want things. 

The main thing I want is functional neurotransmitters tbh. It’s like everything is dull, like - no matter how good things are, no matter how great something goes, no matter if I get the loot or do well or whatever, it’s all so fleeting. Nothing matters, no accomplishment is enough. 

The Tetris theory of emotional engagement - success is washed away but failure ... washes away, but slower. If, after a brief, teeny-tiny dopamine rush, the emotional reponse is the same before an accomplishment as after - or the emotional response after an accomplishment is actually actively worse - then why go to all the effort?

And in this emotional state it’s not like we’d even remember any of the good times. There must have been some kind of achievements in our life, some kind of positivity, some kind of success, but we can’t see it in the fog.

Maybe we should write that shit down.

I hate how empty my head is.

I do things mostly so that there’s something to fill the empty space.

It takes a long time to formulate complete thoughts, like this. Brain fog, I guess, is a word for it. I still type at 90 WPM - if I were just copying, there’d be some kind of speed - but to put together a complete thought?

And it just sort of slips through our fingers.

You know, with how often you use ‘we,’ maybe ‘they’ is a more appropriate pronoun after all. 

I don’t wanna cause a fuss. I never wanna cause a fuss. 

I am so tired.

It’s not physical exhaustion entirely, though that’s a factor, but not one we can address right now, it’s that bone-deep, emotional weariness and it’s stupid. 

I cannot accurately gauge how good or bad my real world actual life is going, which means it’s probably on the bad side of fine because poverty is a thing, but whatever. 

Using overly precise language because of an over-dedication to the exact nature of truth, how nice. You do that a lot, you know. It’s easier to say it one way, and not entirely inaccurate, but it’s most accurate to say it with a thousand words, instead. Write an essay, it’s more coherent.

I keep oscillating between excited and dejected. I’m happy for the new expansion, for all that there’s been server troubles and stuff, but it’s all anyone who plays will think about or talk about. I have three total RP threads, now, but at least one of them has just died outright as of early access.

Because of the server trouble, people are considering moving, and I can’t. I spent money to get onto this server, and while transfers off are free, if I leave I cannot come back, no matter how much time passes. 

I hate that money is such a core foundation of our society. Having to pass up things like ‘go see Wonder Woman / Black Panther because they’re Important films’ except, uh, well, I’d like to eat in a meaningful way this month? Okay. Having to pass up any form of entertainment that I don’t know for 100% certain that I will enjoy? This is fine. 

I have this hangup about legality like, even the most “benign” forms of piracy I have this deep-seated anxiety like ‘I’m going to get caught and thrown into jail forever’ and there’s a part of me that welcomes such if only because then it hardly matters that I’m physically incapable of making enough money to live.

That’s kind of fucked up, if you think about it, like, prisons are almost-effective welfare if you just completely fail at being a person.’Want to eat consistently? Have a consistent place to sleep? Cool, go do a crime that will cause you to become incarcerated.’

It isn’t always like this. There are times I talk and think and react so fast I’m annoying. Like - really annoying. Because I’m loud and vibrant and everything is color and movement. It’s no wonder the one doctor thought it was bipolar, it’s similar but not the same. Probably. 

We’re not in any shape to fucking tell.

Then again it’s also probable they all thought we were bullshitting or exaggerating how difficult things are because it’s not always, we can pretend we’re fine and we do pretend we’re fine, even when we shouldn’t.

Just not enough to actually hold down employment or ... anything important.

I’m so fucking tired.