#also if anyone cares to enlighten me on how to make better scans

[psychewritesbs]

[lythea-creation]

I Went Through The Same - Sirius Black x fem teen reader (platonic)

First of all thanks for the request, anon. Hope you like it!

request: Sirius meets a Witch (Age: 16) from a pureblood family (I don't care which - choose one:)). At first, he is a bit skeptical about her loyalties as she is in the Slytherin House (Stereotypes +-+). As he gets to know her and learns about her running away, he helps the Reader through a tough time.

warnings: family issues, prejudices, mentions of bullying

word count: 1.534

Author's note: Feel free to check out my Masterlists and make requests. No reposting please! Reblogging, comments and requests are always appreciated <3 If you like the story/my writing, please don't be shy to say it via comments or asks! It takes you a few seconds and might make my day. It's the best appreciation you can show to a writer you like.

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Sirius' PoV

„Harry, do you know her?“, I inquired.

I had just gotten to know the new unofficial member of the Order of the Phoenix, (f/n) Parkinson. But since Snape had brought her here I could not help but distrust her.

“I don't really know a lot about her. She's Pansy's sister … I think one year older than her ... and also in Slytherin. You should keep an eye on her. Her sister, at least, is a bragging idiot”, he declared.

So my assumption had been right. Why had Dumbledore allowed her to come here?

As Harry had suggested I observed the teenager for the next days until I decided to approach her.

“What are you reading?”, I initiated a conversation.

“Just some potion book”, she brushed it off.

I took a look at the pages she was scanning. “Looks advanced”, I noticed.

Potions had never been my strength and this was definitely way too difficult for me to brew.

“Well ... Professor Snape gave it to me as special lecture”, she enlightened me.

“Do you like him? I guess so, since he brought you here in the first place. Why are you even here?”

For the first time she ripped her eyes away from the book to meet my eyes. “Is this an interrogation? Because it's obvious you don't trust me. You've been following me around since I arrived here”, she noted.

Shit! She had noticed?! Although I had been extremely careful to make it seem casual. How had I turned into a man watching a teenager girl? Without context it would creep me out myself.

“Let's say I don't trust the person who brought you here. And that you're always on your own doesn't exactly ease my nerves”, I claimed.

“What did you expect? It's not like anyone here wants my company. In the end you're all the same. Even Molly Weasley is skeptical, though she is still making sure I eat.”

Right. I did not know anything about her, but after what Harry had told me about her sister it was understandable that nobody wanted to deal with her.

“Then what about Snivellus?”

“Who?”

“Severus Snape”, I clarified.

A knowing grin formed on her face. “Oh … now I remember. You're Sirius Black, one of Professor Snape's tormentors back at school. You were such an asshole and yet you're judging me without knowing anything. Could you just leave me alone to read, please?”

Now I fucked up. She was right. I had judged her right away because of my past with Snape. After my time in Azkaban I should have known better than to judge her without any evidence.

An idea popped up in my mind.

I knocked on Hermione's door waiting for an answer.

When I opened the door I immediately spotted her two best friends. Of course the boys were here.

“Hermione, can I talk to you for a sec?”, I requested, signaling her to get out of the room.

“Sure”, she agreed obviously surprised.

“You like potions, right?”, I reassured as soon as we had closed the door of her room.

“Uh … yeah. Why?”, she questioned.

“(f/n)'s reading a pretty advanced potions book downstairs. Maybe you two could talk about it and exchange some knowledge”, I considered.

Hermione crossed her arms in front of her chest. “(f/n) Parkinson? No, thanks. I'm not in the mood for her to call me a mudblood and insist on being superior.”

“Are you talking about (f/n) or Pansy?”

“Where's the difference?”, she inquired. “Sorry, it's not like I wanna judge her right away. But I'm sick of being degraded by some arrogant, pure-blooded Slytherins. If she wants to make an effort to get along with me, she should approach me herself.”

“She doesn't even know I'm talking to you”, I protected her.

“Then why are you doing it? I think you should just let her be and hope that no one is getting harmed.”

With these words she returned to her room.

A defeated sigh left my lips.

Whenever I tried talking to (f/n) the next days she simply brushed me off.

“What do you want?”, she finally gave in when I did not stop annoying her.

It amazed me how calm her voice was. She definitely did not have any issues with keeping her composure.

“I'm sorry. I judged you without even knowing you. Can we start over?”, I pleaded her.

Hesitation was evident in her body language. In my dog form I had learned to sense it.

“I'm Sirius Black, ironically the black sheep of the Black family. I was an idiot as a teenager and still am sometimes. But years in Azkaban made me mature … slightly … and go even more crazy.”

I hoped my words would encourage her to open up to me, to at least give me a chance at all.

A small smile crept onto her face, an amused one. “I'm (f/n) Parkinson. Kinda the black sheep of my family as well which is why I'm here in the first place. Most people avoid me because of my family's and my sister's reputation. Being a Slytherin doesn't help the prejudices in that matter. The people who do give me a chance usually leave when they realize I don't fit into the prejudices, which is why I'm focusing on my studies instead of socializing.”

Her words were like a punch to my face. I had behaved just like everybody else she knew.

“But you were different, right? Professor Snape told me about you and your friends. A Black in Gryffindor. Your family must have despised you. At least you had friends. Is that why you pulled so much shit? Because you wanted to impress your friends and housemates? Because you were desperately trying to show them that you weren't on the side of your Slytherin family? Pretty ironic that you did what many Slytherins are being accused for. Bullying innocents.”

“You're pretty blunt”, I realized.

“What do I have to lose?”, she shot back.

“Touche … so what about Snape and you? Why do you know so much about him?”, I wondered.

“He's the only one who ever saw me. He protected me from the bullying that came especially from Slytherin and Gryffindor students and told me his story to show me he could relate. He helped me improving my grades to the top ones of the year. My potion skills are higher than the ones of most of the seventh graders. Whenever I had to return home over the holidays, he made sure to give me some lecture to work through. That way I could tell my parents I was doing it for extra credits and I could keep some distance from them. Without him my life would be way more of a hell. He's the closest I have to a friend or relative.”

“How old are you, (f/n)?”

“Sixteen. Why?”

“I was just your age when I left my family to live with my best friend”, I recalled. “I had someone to turn to. Snape is the only one you can rely on, right? Is that why you're here out of all places? I bet your family doesn't support the Order.”

Her eyes traveled back to her book. “My parents think I'm spending the holidays with a friend I made up. Luckily they aren't the smartest people and I easily managed to trick them. But it's only a matter of time. They want me to become a death eater. But honestly I would rather die”, she mumbled. “They have been talking about it for years already. Pansy is mad at me because she wants to become a death eater first to make our parents proud. We never came along. I mean … how could we? She's a total jerk.”

“You don't have to become a death eater if you don't want to”, I pronounced.

A bitter laugh escaped her lips. “Easy to say when it's none of your business. What do you expect me to do?”

“Leave your family. It may seem impossible to you right now, but it isn't. In Hogwarts you should be safe. And if anything should happen you could always come to me. I will give you a port key disguised as a ring. That way you would be able to escape at any time if things should get out of hand after all. Better than dying, I would say.”

She looked at me with wide eyes. “Are you serious?”

“Yes, I am Sirius. Just kidding. I mean it. I went through the same thing with the difference that I had a better support system. It would be ignorant to leave you hanging.

“And I thought you were just an arrogant jerk”, she stated dumbfounded.

“Yeah, I bet I'll drive you mad sometimes”, I 'joked' pulling the first genuine laughter from her.

I had no clue what I had just gotten myself into, but her laugh already made it seem worth it.

[breathing-and-writing]

Bugs Need To Be Warm During Winter

Happy Holidays @voiidfriend, I’m your back-up @mlsecretsanta! I’m sorry it took so long, but I hope you enjoy your gift!

Read on Ao3

January, the start of the new year, a month of new beginnings. The new year always brought the opportunity for setting resolutions and trying new things, but unfortunately for some students, it also meant the start of a new semester. Coming back to class in the middle of winter was not only hard for them but also concerning for a certain kwami, who knew that his other half had a hard time during the colder months, especially if she was alone.

The little god peeked his head out of his chosen’s bag to look at the classroom. He had probably never seen the class this bored before, the lack of energy from having to start school again so blatantly evident, he had to hold back the urge to cackle. The most important thing was that everyone was either looking directly at the board or trying really hard not to fall asleep, so he should be able to do what he wanted while staying undetected. Leaving the warmth of the bag he had been occupying behind, he kept under the desks as he inched towards a certain pink purse, going into it when he finally reached it.

“Plagg?” He had honestly been hoping for a more excited greeting.

“Hey, Sugar cube.” His words were accompanied by a smirk.

“You shouldn’t be here, what if someone had seen you?”

“Eh,” he made a nonchalant gesture with his hands, “you worry too much, everyone here is blind.”

“What are you doing here?” Apparently, she was going straight to the point.

“Oh, you know what I’m doing here.” He tried to appear indifferent, but he couldn’t help but gingerly avert his eyes.

“No, I don’t. Please enlighten me.” Now it was Tikki’s turn to appear smug.

“Bugs need to be warm during winter.” He said reluctantly.

“Oh, and you’re here because…?” Her eyes widened in what most would consider an innocent way, but Plagg knew better.

“Don’t make me say it.” He pleaded with a groan.

The wide blue eyes that stared back at him told him that she wanted him to say it.

“Because I don’t want you to be cold.” He grudgingly admitted.

“I’m fine.” If she hadn’t shivered at the exact same moment she replied, the other god probably would’ve believed her.

“Tikki, we’re two halves of a whole. No amount of scarves or blankets will keep you warm like me.”

She distracted herself by burrowing deeper into her scarf. “That doesn’t matter, you shouldn’t be away from Chat Noir.”

“You know it’s true. It’s not our fault they don’t know their identities yet.”

“But–”

“And you shouldn’t have to suffer because of it.” 

“Aw Plagg, you do care!”

“Whatever,” he dismissed her words, then quietly added, “you know I do.”

“I guess you being here for a little while won’t hurt anybody.”

“I knew you would listen to reason.” A grin started taking over his face.

“But as soon as the class is over you go back to Chat Noir, okay? An Akuma could attack at any moment.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He gestured for her to come closer as he opened his arms. “Now c’mere.”

┅┅┅┅┅

For the first day back at school after winter break, it sure had been a busy one. A whole day of classes mixed in with Alya explaining to her every single new update she had made to the Ladyblog and ending with the first student body meeting of the year. A meeting that lasted two hours longer than it should’ve, because half of the people hadn’t bothered to read the e-mail that had been sent a week ago, and the other half just kept disagreeing with everything proposed. It sure was enough to make a part-time superheroine long for a nap.

Marinette started making her way down the stairs towards the locker room, so she could gather her things and finally go home. She let out a dreamy sigh as she spotted her favorite fencer currently practicing in the courtyard. How did Adrien Agreste manage to be so good at everything he did?

The boy took a sudden pause in his match, lifting his mask and waving at the girl as he spotted her too. Somehow, she managed to bring her hand up to wave back, though she was more focused on keeping her blush to a minimum and not missing any steps like the last time she ended up falling down the stairs. 

The girl sighed as she finally reached the locker room, relaxing as she closed the door behind her. Remembering her kwami, she opened her purse she could address her.

“Hey, Tikki, I’m sorry the meeting took so long, it’s just–” Her voice failed her as she saw the inside of her purse.

Tikki was there alright, sleeping soundly while burrowed deep into her scarf like she was supposed to, but she wasn’t alone. Instead of using the fabric as a pillow, she was nestled in the arms of another sleeping kwami, a certain bad luck kwami that wasn’t supposed to be there.

As Marinette continued to stare, Tikki started to stir, sighing as she opened her eyes. She seemed to be in pure bliss until she looked up and their gazes met. The little god gulped as she shook her companion awake. Plagg started to complain as he stirred, but then he opened his eyes fully and realized their predicament. He wisely chose to stay quiet.

“Plagg?” The girl finally found her voice. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, you see, it’s actually quite a funny story–”

“Wait.” She cut him off abruptly.

Marinette paused to scan the room. Once she was sure they were alone, she moved to the hidden spot behind the lockers, so they would be out of sight of anyone that decided to come in.

“Okay. Okay, okay, okay.” She addressed the kwamis again. “What is going on? Why are you here? And why aren’t you with Chat Noir?”

“Relax, M.” Plagg said as he started floating up towards her eye level. “We were just taking a little nap.”

“What?!” 

“Sugar cube here needed some warmth, that’s all.”

“Do you have any idea how irresponsible and dangerous that was?!”

She looked accusingly at the kwamis, both of them now out of her purse, and started pacing to try and keep her words calm.

“What if someone had seen you? Or what if there had been an Akuma? You guys know we have to put Paris first, Chat Noir and I have always had to do that.”

She stopped at the mention of her partner, realizing yet another problem that came with their situation. If she wasn’t panicking a moment ago, she definitely was starting to now.

“Oh my god, does he know you’re here?” She whipped her head to look at Plagg, his averted gaze gave her all the answer she needed. “He doesn’t. He doesn’t! He must be panicking right now! Do you even know how to go back to him?” Her volume started rising in tandem with her panic. “Oh no, this is a complete disaster!”

“Uh, Marinette–”

“You know I’m not that type of person, but I’m the Guardian now! All of us are supposed to be working together to–”

“MARINETTE!”

The voice of her kwami managed to break through her rambling. 

“What?” She asked in exasperation.

Both kwamis stood there stiffly, nervously pointing to something behind her.

“Oh, don’t you think you’re going to be able to distract me from–” Her words died in her throat as she turned and saw what, or more precisely who, they were pointing to. Uh oh.

“Adrien! Hey!” She tried to appear casual as she shifted to try and hide the kwamis behind her body. “What are you doing here?” She failed.

Adrien seemed to break out of his trance at her words. He took a deep breath and tried to say something normal, but apparently, his filter had been left behind in the courtyard.

“Oh, you see, after class today I couldn’t find Plagg, so I thought I could ditch fencing a bit early today, so I could have time to look for him before my driver arrived, so that’s what I did and here he is, so I guess my plan worked.” Maybe he should’ve thought about what he was going to say before he opened his mouth.

“Oh, okay that makes sense.” A whole ten seconds of awkward silence went by, then his words sunk in, and she took a double-take. “Wait, what?”

“I mean, I found him, but now I’m just confused by the whole situation.” He tried to smile to convey that nothing was wrong, but it ended up looking more like a wince.

“Let me explain,” Plagg came forward as he cleared his throat, “I snuck into Mari’s bag during class, so I could help Tikki stay warm ‘cuz I care about her wellbeing or something, but we ended up falling asleep… haha.” Everyone was gaping at him, so he tried to defuse the tension by continuing his explanation. “Basically, kid… yeah, you were right about who you thought Ladybug was.”

“Plagg!” Tikki replied in outrage.

“I’m sorry Tikki, but we obviously can’t salvage this one.” He finalized with a shrug.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait a minute.” Marinette interrupted their exchange. “Does that mean you are…” She turned to look at Adrien, still in shock.

“Mhm,” he managed, “and you are…” The shocked expression left his face and was replaced by a dashing grin as he realized.

They were obnoxiously interrupted by the sound of the doors banging open and the chatter of students entering the locker room after their fencing practice. Their time was up.

“We’ll talk later tonight, okay?” He said in a gentle tone.

She only managed to nod back before he exited the room.

Once the last student left, and she was alone again, Marinette felt like she could finally breathe. She tried to process everything that had just happened calmly, in the hopes of preventing another freak-out, but then the last words Adrien had said to her registered in her mind: “We’ll talk later tonight, okay?” He had said that they were going to talk later tonight because they had patrol later tonight. Later tonight! That was very soon–too soon–how was she going to manage to put herself together in only a couple of hours?

┅┅┅┅┅

Transforming and leaving her room had been painless enough, she had even left for patrol a couple of minutes early like she always did. It was when she was almost at their meeting place that she decided she needed a moment alone, just to take a breather, it would be quick, and then she would arrive on time to patrol. Which is why she was now on a random secluded rooftop, nervously pacing its length, and taking "deep breaths" that sounded pretty similar to hyperventilating, almost half an hour past the time she was supposed to meet Chat Noir for patrol.

The knowledge that she was late just added to her internal turmoil, which she was so absorbed in that she didn’t hear a certain someone landing a couple of paces beside her. 

“You’re running a little late to patrol, aren’t you?”

She stopped on her tracks at the sound of her partner’s voice, avoiding his gaze as she started wringing her hands.

“Hmm… yeah.” She admitted in defeat. “How did you know?” She turned to look at him as she asked.

“You’re my best friend Ladybug, I know you too well.” He accompanied his words with a gentle smile.

“Yeah… you are.” She realized.

He started to slowly approach her, trying to read her current mood.

“What’s bothering that pretty little head of yours?”

“You know what it is.” She said in an apprehensive tone.

“Well, I also know there is something else besides the fact that we know each other's names now.”

“This was not supposed to happen.” Had it not been for Chat Noir’s enhanced hearing he wouldn’t have heard it.

“I… are you disappointed?” He felt an ugly weight in his stomach. “Is it because you don’t like Adrien?”

“What?!” Ladybug seemed to snap out of her trance. “No, no. It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“I just… I feel like I failed.” She couldn’t stand to look him in the eyes.

“You know this was an accident, right?” He tried to comfort her.

“Yes! An accident that could’ve cost us everything! What if it hadn’t been you?” Her partner stood speechless. “I’m the Guardian because I messed up, and I haven’t stopped messing up ever since!” She groaned as frustration took over her. “I’m not ready to be the Guardian and I don’t know if I’ll ever be.” She turned around to avoid looking at her partner’s face.

“Maybe you weren’t ready, but I’ve always thought that things happen for a reason. It was meant to be.”

Her eyes got misty as she replied. “It’s just… I don’t want things to change, I never wanted things to change.”

“Well, I think things should change.” He closed the distance between them as he stood directly behind her. “Change can be for the better too, you know?” His touch was soft as he gently grasped her shoulders and spun her around, forcing her to look at him. “Bugaboo, we’re a team, remember? You don’t have to go through any of this alone, and you get to make your own rules now. You’re the Guardian after all.”

“Promise?” Her voice was small as she asked.

“Yeah, promise. It’s you and me against the world.” He stood at ease again when he saw some tension leave her shoulders. “You better now?”

The ghost of a smile touched her lips. “Yeah, thanks to you.” 

“I’m glad to hear that,” his voice took a sly lilt, “because we still need to talk about the other thing.”

“The other thing?”

Adrien had practiced this part of the conversation and knew exactly what he wanted to say, but now it seemed that words started to leave his mouth without guide or permission. “Yeah, look, I know on the other side of the masks we are not the closest of friends or anything–”

Oh, that other thing. Ladybug remembered, and the shock of the earlier reveal came crashing back into her.

“–I mean, I get it, my father can be very intimidating, and I don’t really have free time so, like, it’s not your fault at all that we aren’t closer–”

Oh my god, it has been Adrien all this time! And he thinks I don’t like him!–

“–and I hope this isn’t too sudden… Is it too sudden?–”

–but if he has been in love with Ladybug all this time… that’s me!–

“–but I’d really like to be closer to you, like, on both sides of the masks. I mean, I’ve always wanted too anyways because Marinette is so amazing–”

He is so cute when he’s rambling like that… Did he just say I’m amazing?

“–so could we, like, hang out sometime? Or just talk? I know you’re always super busy too, so–”

She decided to end his suffering by bringing a single finger up to his lips, effectively ending his rambling.

“Shutupshutupshutup.” She said in a hushed tone.

Ladybug’s mood continued to lift as he looked at her with confused kitten eyes.

“As adorable as it is to see you rambling, you really don’t have to do that.”

The confusion left his face at her words and was replaced by smugness. “You think I’m adorable?”

Now it was Marinette’s turn to be flustered as she realized what she had said. After all this time, THIS is how I confess?

“Ah–I–no, I mean, yes? I mean–” A blush started taking over her cheeks. “I’ve kind of always have?”

“Bugaboo…”

“I always thought of Adrien like that,” she averted her eyes, “and that’s the only reason I spent all that time trying to convince myself that Chat Noir wasn’t,” then as an afterthought she added, “but I definitely failed at that.”

“Oh…” understanding started to sink into him, “I always thought you stayed away from Adrien because I wasn’t as cool as you.”

“No… I was just nervous around you… all the time.”

“We really just were running around in circles all the time, huh?” He said with a breathy laugh.

“Yeah, I guess we were.”

“Can I?” He was hesitant as he opened his arms for a hug.

“Yes, Kitty, you can.”

He engulfed her in a hug, both of their hearts soaring.

“So, so, so,” he pulled back slightly to look her in the eyes, “if I like you,” he continued at her nod, “and you like me,” a grin started taking over his face, “does that mean we can–”

“Hold your thought right there Chaton.”

She stood on her tiptoes, bringing their faces inches from each other. She placed her lips right next to his ear, having to hold in a laugh at how tense he got.

“You have to beat me to the Eiffel Tower first.” She whispered.

Without wasting a second, Ladybug threw out her yo-yo, taking up from the rooftop in direction to the Eiffel Tower, only turning back to laugh at Chat Noir’s indignant expression.

“Hey! That’s cheating!”

[tradgicworks]

Heartfelt: P-2 Heavy Meddle

Anna Hjarta finds herself as the sole witness of a strange disappearance. She decides to help find the missing student, despite how much her academy wants to keep it a secret.

WORD COUNT - 6030

Fast paced heavy metal music blared out of Anna’s headphones. Her short dirty-blonde hair bobbed up and down to the fast paced rhythm. Her grey-blue colored eyes scanned the floor as she picked up any trash that was left behind. She brushed her bangs out of her face revealing a faint scar that ran from her left cheekbone all the way through her left brow. Her music was interrupted by the ringtone of her phone. She tapped her phone and answered the call.

“Yeah?” Anna asked as she continued picking up trash.

“Hey, Anna,” Another volunteer’s voice responded. “I finished up where I’m at. Everyone else is done too, we’re gonna head back for today.”

“Cool. I got the keys with me, I’ll finish here then head back myself. You guys have a good night.”

“Don’t overdo it Anna. Goodnight,” The volunteer said before hanging up the phone.

Her music roared back to life. Anna sighed as she looked at her nearly full trash bag. She pulled down her headphones and turned them off. She laid the bag on the floor and swept the remaining bits of trash into the bag with her leg. She tied the bag up and carried it to the dump.

Despite the academy’s strict rules, disobedience was inevitable- especially the week before winter break. For some reason or another, the academy had a policy of having Juniors and Seniors take their finals early. This was done in order to “encourage the active pursuit of future academic endeavors”. Most students took it as a chance to apply to college, scholarships, or internships. While others treated it as an early vacation or an excuse to party in secret. The abandoned auditorium especially was a hotspot for delinquents. Due to the lack of manpower the academy could not afford to routinely survey the theater during the last week of classes, their focus was on finishing up the preparations for the graduation ceremony after all. As such the troublemakers rebelled in relative comfort, often leaving huge messes. Ultimately, it would be up to the older students to take it upon themselves to volunteer and clean up the mess. Anna Hjarta included.

Anna heaved the trash bag into the dumpster and shut it closed. She took off her work-gloves with a satisfied look. Thunder faintly growled behind her. The sound of rain wafted into her ears.

“Mph,” She thought to herself as she checked her backpack. “I forgot my umbrella.”

Anna stuffed her headphones and gloves back into her bag. She glanced outside through a dirty window. The light of the campus walkway was barely visible through all the rain. Anna frowned and flipped a switch on the wall. The work lights that lined the halls of the auditorium blinked into darkness. Her body froze as she heard a shrill scream echo through the pitch black halls.

“Is someone there?” Anna called out in a hush tone.

She was met with silence.

The muffled sounds of teary cries for help crawled into her ears as she waited for a reply. She flipped the lights back on and ran towards the sound.

“Are you okay?!” She yelled out while trying to find the source of the struggle.

One last shriek rang out before being snuffed short. Anna found herself at the doors of the theater. She tried to open them but felt a strange resistance hold them shut. She slammed against them until they finally swung open. She shook her phone and its flashlight turned on. She found herself in the empty theater, the draped curtains fluttering softly. She surveyed the room in confusion and let out a deep sigh after searching for a few moments.

“I need more sleep,” She muttered.

Anna turned around and began to head back towards the dorms. Her shoe kicked against something and sent it gliding across the floor. She flashed her light at it and noticed a sparkle in the corner of her eye. She walked towards it and picked it up. In her fingers was a small golden bangle bracelet.

“Devoted to our pride and joy, Sophie,” Anna read out the cursive that was written across the back of the bracelet.

. . .

Anna flinched awake to the blare of her phone’s alarm. She sat up and looked at her surroundings groggily. Articles of old clothes laid scattered all across the floor. Her desk was stacked high with medical textbooks- some open, almost all riddled with sticky notes. Her bag hung from the door knob with Sophie’s bracelet attached to it by the zipper.

Anna slowly got out of bed. She walked to the bathroom and began to brush her teeth. When she finished she rinsed out her mouth and splashed some water on her face. She looked in the mirror, her scar had become an ugly streak that burned through her face. She traced it lightly with her fingers and frowned. She pulled out a small makeup bag from underneath her vanity. Layer after layer, she applied makeup on her scar until it returned to the faint seam that it was before. She gave a slight smile as she observed her handiwork. The academy’s morning announcements buzzed to life as she finished up.

“Good Morning, students,” Dr. Ward’s, the headmaster, soothing voice called out. “Yesterday’s rain proved to be heavier than was originally forecasted. Be careful when going between classes as staff have reported significant amounts of mud from the downpour. Furthermore, yesterday also marked the most amount of curfew violations in the academy’s history. A fact that brings me much disappointment. The students who violated the curfew will be called to my office to receive a punishment. You know who you are and you will be contacted privately. Let this serve as a reminder to the rest of the student body that this kind of behavior will not be tolerated again. Now, for today’s agenda…” Dr. Ward began reading out the remainder of the dull announcements.

Anna put away her makeup bag. Her phone began to buzz. She picked it up and read the screen.

“Anna Hjarta. Please report to Dr. Ward’s office at-” Anna raised a brow.

She threw on the cleanest uniform she could find and grabbed her bag as she walked out the door.

. . .

The headmaster’s office was built at the highest point of the campus. Curved stairs lead up to the main entrance. A ramp sloped downwards and cut through the middle of the stairs, allowing access into the library on the bottom floor. Colorful flowers and well maintained shrubs all sprinkled with water droplets from the rain decorated the entrance. Anna made her way to the headmaster's office.

“Excuse me,” She said as she walked inside.

Dr. Ward’s office was incredibly organized. Her large desk was filled with papers- all stacked into neat piles. Two bookshelves filled with all sorts of books, awards, and gifts stood behind her. On the wall was a display case with a beautiful ceremonial dagger stored inside. Behind her was a large window that allowed for a majestic view of the entire campus.

“Anna,” Dr. Ward smiled. “Have a seat.”

“You wanted to see me?” Anna said as she sat down.

“Yes, I did. I wanted to see you and Eva,” Dr. Ward gestured at Eva who sat in the chair next to Anna.

Dr. Ward sat down and opened her laptop. The door to her office swung open and a tall warden walked in with a cup of coffee.

“Thank you, Caroline,” Dr. Ward smiled as she set down the cup.

Caroline replied with a curt nod. Her green eyes were locked into a permanent glare. Her brunette hair was tied into a tight bun. She wore the Warden's uniform which consisted of combat boots, neatly pressed pants, a long sleeved button up shirt with a tie, and a blocky hat. Caroline specifically, wore a small badge and a large coat over her shoulders like a cloak as an imposing way of signifying her position of authority amongst the Wardens.

“I have been informed that both of you entered the dorms after the curfew, is that correct?” Dr. Ward asked while quickly typing.

“That’s correct,” Anna said casually.

“Yup,” Eva clicked her tongue.

“Hmm,” Dr. Ward glanced at the two before continuing to type. “Would you mind enlightening me over why you entered the dorms so late?”

“Lost track of time,” Eva said.

“I was helping clean up the auditorium, my group was scheduled for yesterday and I stayed after to finish up. I ended up getting caught in the rain though,” Anna explained.

“I see,” Dr. Ward said as she typed. "Was there anyone else with you, Anna?"

“There shouldn't have been, everyone else went back early. I only stayed after because I had the keys.”

“Did you notice anything strange on your way back?" Dr. Ward asked.

“What do you mean by strange...?” Anna asked slowly.

“Yesterday there was some unexpected interference with the academy’s security system. Given how many students disobeyed the curfew, I wanted to make sure that no one was up to any mischief while some of the cameras were offline,” Dr. Ward drank from her coffee.

“No, not really. I mean I can’t even think of anyone crazy enough to be out in that rain on purpose,” Anna shrugged.

“You can never be too sure,” Dr. Ward pushed up her glasses.

“Well, actually, there was one thing,” Anna grabbed the bangle bracelet from her bag and held it towards Dr. Ward. “I found this.”

Dr. Ward grabbed it and investigated it. Her face tensed slightly as she read the back of it. She handed it to Caroline who didn’t react.

“Where did you find this?” Dr. Ward glanced up at Anna with a smile, but her eyes turned cold and empty.

Both Anna and Eva shifted uncomfortably at the unusual look in Dr. Ward’s eyes.

“The theater,” Anna replied.

Dr. Ward glanced at Caroline who quickly nodded in reply and walked out of the office.

“Something wrong?” Eva asked with slight meekness.

Dr. Ward’s eyes brightened to her usual comforting shine. “No, nothing is wrong. I am just upset that your more rebellious peers are still using the auditorium irresponsibly. Especially when we both know that they could be doing so much better.”

“I see,” Eva awkwardly replied.

Dr. Ward took a deep breath.

“Thank you ladies for providing some insight into what happened during the storm. Regardless of your intentions, the fact remains that both of you disobeyed the curfew. As such, you will be penalized. The school adheres to its strict guidelines after all and they must be enforced indiscriminately,” Dr. Ward took out two forms and began filling them out quickly.

“What do we have to do?” Anna asked.

“The two of you will be working as receptionists at the freshmen dorms,” Dr. Ward handed a filled out form to Anna and Eva each. “Take these to the front office of the dorm. They’ll give you everything you need and tell you what to do from there. You may leave now,” Dr. Ward instructed before returning her attention to work.

Anna and Eva walked towards the door.

“Oh, and one more thing,” Dr. Ward called out to them as they opened the door. “Try not to get into any more trouble,” She said with a gentle smile.

. . .

Anna’s gaze lingered on the empty hallways. She leaned over the receptionist counter, her cheek resting in her palm. Eva, who sat beside her, groaned and put her feet up on the counter. Anna glanced at her with annoyance.

“Stop that,” Anna said.

“What? My shoes aren’t dirty,” Eva replied.

Dried up mud crumbled onto the counter.

“Not that dirty at least,” Eva yawned.

“It’s just rude to the janitors who have to clean that up,” Anna’s gaze hardened.

“Sheesh, calm down. A little dirt won’t kill anyone. What are you some sort of neat freak?” Eva replied matter-of-factly.

“No,” Anna looked at Eva in her eyes. “I just don’t like dirt.”

Eva put her feet down and sat up straight.

“What do you mean by that?” Her eyes narrowed.

The two stared at each other. Anna grabbed a napkin and cleaned the dirt off of the counter.

“What else would it mean?” She glanced at Eva’s shoes.

“Fine, my bad for bringing in dirty shoes,” Eva took her shoes off the counter. “Sue me.”

“Thank you,” Anna nodded curtly before kneeling down to clean up the dirt.

“You’re a real bleeding heart you know,” Eva commented looking down at her.

Anna didn’t respond, she simply continued until the mess was clean.

Eva looked at her for a few moments before she gave up and went back to playing on her phone.

Anna crumbed up the napkin and threw it into a trashcan. The sound of loud banging erupted from the front doors as it fell in.

“Let me in!” A desperate voice yelled from outside.

“She’s going to break the freaking doors-” Eva growled and stood up.

She quickly walked towards the doors and swung them open just as Gwyneth was about to knock again.

“What are you doing?” Eva grit her teeth.

“Thank you-!” Gwyneth barely got the words in before trying to push her way into the dorms.

“What are you doing?!” Eva roared and shoved her back outside.

“Please- Y-You don’t understand. I need to get in I-” Gwyneth choked on her words. “Please, please, just let me in!”

“No way, you psycho!” Eva barred her from entering.

“Calm down, you’re hurting her,” Anna ran beside her and tugged on her shoulder.

“The hell I am! I’m just stopping her from getting through the door-'' Eva glanced at Gwyneth’s face. “Oh, it's you.”

Eva looked at Gwyneth’s wrists, faint bruise marks were beginning to form.

“Oh,” Eva’s frown grew annoyed.

“That’s why I told you to relax,” Anna pulled Eva behind her and looked at Gwyneth.

“Please let me in!” Gwyneth pleaded.

“Sure,” Anna grabbed her wrists gently. “But first we’re going to take care of this.”

“There’s no time I really have to-” Gwyneth said in between panicked breaths.

“There’s no option, either you come in and I help with the bruising or you don’t come in at all,” Anna gave her a stern look.

“O-Okay, but please hurry!” Gwyneth’s breathing relaxed before she exclaimed.

“I will,” Anna led her inside and behind the receptionist desk.

“Are you crazy? You’re going to take the person who tried to break into the dorms seriously?” Eva exclaimed.

“She wouldn’t be this panicked if it wasn’t for a good reason,” Anna sat Gwyneth down and looked for a first aid kit.

“Wow, I was spot on about that bleeding heart thing huh?” Eva groaned. “What if she’s here to cause trouble or stalk some helpless freshman girl?”

“You really think poorly of people you know,” Anna commented as she prepared an ice bag.

“I’m realistic,” Eva huffed.

“You’re paranoid. All I see is someone in need,” Anna kneeled in front of Gwyneth and pressed the ice bag against her wrist.

“And that’s all you need to be at their beck and call?” Eva sneered.

“Yeah, that’s it,” Anna glared at her.

Eva could only reply with an equally furious look.

“I-I’m not here to hurt anyone,” Gwyneth said meekly. “I’m here to- ah” She squeaked as Anna moved the ice bag to her other wrist.

“I’m worried about my friend, her name is Sophie,” Gwyneth said.

Eva tensed a little upon hearing Sophie’s name.

“What about your friend?” Eva grunted.

“I think she’s in trouble.” Gwyneth said sheepishly.

“No way,” Eva waved her hand dismissively. “The academy’s got security like a prison. If she was in trouble she would have been helped out by one of the Wardens.”

“I know, but I’ve called her so many times and she hasn’t responded once. She didn’t show up to our breakfast meet up and last night she seemed really worried about something,” Gwyneth said, her words growing more frantic.

“Well, maybe you’re just overthinking it,” Eva said apathetically.

“What’s your problem?” Anna glanced at her in a mix of anger and shock.

She turned towards Gwyneth and started wrapping bandages around her wrists. “Why are you so sure she’s in trouble?” Anna asked calmly.

“Sophie’s not like this. She always answers her calls, she's a polite and cheery person. She’s full of optimism and hope and she always does her best to help others. I’ve never seen her act so depressed before, so… docile. I just know something is wrong, it just doesn’t add up...” Gwyneth gazed at the floor.

“Pfft, talk about working off hunches,” Eva muttered.

“I agree,” Anna said as she finished tying her bandages.

“You do?!” Gwyneth and Eva said in unison, relief and surprise in their voice respectively.

“You know the people close to you better than I do. If you really think something is wrong, you should do something about it before you regret not doing anything at all,” Anna stood up and held out her hand. “And I’ll be here to help.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you soooooo much!” Gwyneth leaped up and hugged Anna tightly.

“Woah, okay, okay, I’m just glad I can help,” Anna chuckled. “She’s really soft.” She said towards Eva.

“And I care why?” Eva shook her head. “I can’t believe you’re helping her. What do you even want Gwy- uh... Girl?”

“Oh, that’s right,” Gwyneth let go of Anna. “My name’s Gwyneth, I’m a Sophomore.”

“I’m Anna, a Junior,” Anna replied.

“Eva, same,” Eva mumbled. “So what do you want?”

“I-” Gwyneth paused. “I was planning on visiting Sophie’s room and checking up on her.”

“What floor is she on?” Anna asked.

“Third floor, room 309,” Gwyneth replied.

“Cool, let’s go,” Anna grabbed the master key from behind the counter and headed up the stairs. “You coming, Grinch?” She asked Eva as she stopped on the first step.

“Screw you,” Eva spat before following suit.

. . .

The freshmen dorms were not the nicest on campus, mostly due to how old the building itself was. The steps led up to a view of the many hallways on each floor. Rows and rows of evenly spaced doors lined the walls. Occasional break and study rooms broke the monotony of the layout. Framed paintings of previous headmasters and photographs of the academy’s history dotted the free spaces on the wall. On the opposite end, stood an identical set of stairs leading into the floor below. Anna, Eva, and Gwyneth stepped into the third floor. Gwyneth walked ahead of them and led them to Sophie’s dorm.

“We’re here,” Anna stated as they stood in front of room 309.

Gwyneth stepped forward and knocked on the door.

“Sophie, are you there? It’s me, Gwen,” She called out.

There was no reply.

“Sophie?” She knocked again.

“She’s probably just asleep,” Eva commented.

“At six in the evening?” Anna raised a brow.

“You’d be surprised at how many people hit the hay early,” Eva yawned.

“She’s not answering,” Gwyneth turned towards them.

“Hmm, let me try,” Anna knocked on the door a little rougher than Gwyneth. “Sophie, are you in there?”

The door creaked open on her last knock.

“You broke it,” Eva scoffed.

“It just happened on its own,” Anna replied with a tinge of panic.

“Well, no use crying over it now,” Eva swung open the door and gestured for them to walk in. “After ya’ll.”

They all entered the room. Eva flicked on the light switch and the ceiling lamp hummed to a faint light. Comfy looking bed sheets sat as a messy pile on an unmade bed. The cabinets held half open drawers filled with thrown-about clothes. Makeup, perfume, accessories, and other knick-knacks once neatly organized on the shelves laid scattered across the floor. A torn apart sheet music book with ripped out pages leaned limply against a violin. Gwyneth’s gaze lingered on a corkboard that hung above her drawer. Pictures of Gwyneth and Sophie spending time together were pinned on to it. Dumb drawings that Gwyneth made in a silly attempt of explaining some of her favorite controversies were displayed like badges of honor. The letter she wrote for Sophie’s birthday was neatly held by tiny styrofoam stars. A calendar filled with pretty handwritten notes was to the left of all of that. “Dinner with Gwyneth, yay!” was circled in red marker.

“What a mess,” Eva murmured.

“It looks like someone tore up the place,” Anna said quietly.

“Sophie…” Gwyneth whimpered as she walked to the corkboard and traced her fingers over the memorabilia.

“We need to report this to the principal,” Anna said as she glanced at Gwyneth’s worried face.

“Agreed, the way this room is torn up is way too sketchy,” Eva let out a deep sigh. “The academy seems to be slipping in more ways than one.”

“That’s ominous,” Anna commented.

“Just saying, the schools vow of security ain’t looking so secure right now. I wouldn’t be surprised if there are other dorms where just about anybody can break into them,” Eva opened the closet. “We could have a real case for false advertising on our hands-” Eva’s words were snuffed into violent chokes.

A woman stepped out of the closet. Her dark gray colored eyes shone with a strange intensity. She held Eva by the neck, nearly lifting her off the ground. Gwyneth shrieked as she grabbed something to defend herself with. Anna hopped over the bed and slammed herself against the woman. The woman grunted in pain as she let go of Eva and struggled to keep her balance. Eva coughed in heavy breaths. The woman took a step forward ready to attack Anna, only to have a stapler thrown against her face by Gwyneth.

“You. Effing. Creep,” Eva yelled in a horse voice.

Eva kicked at the woman’s legs before she could retaliate and tripped her onto the ground. The woman fell with a hearty thud and her body went limp. Eva raised her foot to stomp her face but was stopped by Anna’s hand.

“What are you doing?! You’re going to kill her!” Anna screamed.

“Oh, do not make excuses for the panty stealing weirdo hiding in a sixteen year old’s closet- she deserved this!” Eva yelled back.

“But, she’s already knocked out!” Anna pushed her leg out of the way. “So, we stop!”

“Fine, Goldilocks. Have it your way, but I’m not helping you if she gets up and starts choke slamming you,” Eva rubbed her shin. “Damn, that hurt. Her legs felt like they were made out of steel.”

“W-Who is she anyways and where did you two learn to fight like that?“ Gwyneth asked.

“I kinda just threw myself at her,” Anna said matter-of-factly.

“Kickboxing is a hobby,” Eva replied. “As for the mystery woman…” Eva took out her phone and turned on its flashlight.

The light shone over the face of a Warden. The three of them stared in silence as the realization dawned upon them.

“We are so screwed,” Eva murmured with a deathly serious tone.

“WE KNOCKED A WARDEN UNCONSCIOUS?!” Gwyneth screamed.

“Shut up!” Eva put her hand over Gwyneth’s mouth. “Do you want the whole dorm to know?!”

“I-It’s fine, we can just explain to the principal what happened. T-That this was all just one big misunderstanding,” Anna said in a slightly shaky voice as she sat the Warden up as best as she could

“Oh yeah, sure, and she can kindly explain how many years in prison we’re gonna serve for assaulting a freaking police officer,” Eva gave a panicked chuckle.

“I don’t want to go to jail,” Gwyneth whimpered.

“No effing dur, girly,” Eva commented.

“Calm down, both of you. Worse comes to worst I can just-” Anna started before being cut off by the sound of a radio.

“Warden 06, can you hear me?” A staticky voice called from the Warden’s breast pocket.

Anna, Eva, and Gwyneth looked at each other. Gwyneth gestured to Anna to give her the radio. Anna tossed into her hands and she began to fiddle with it. After a few seconds she held the button to reply. White noise poured out of the radio.

“Warden 06, there seems to be some interference on your end. Do you read me?” The voice asked again.

Gwyneth tilted the radio downwards. The white noise became more chaotic.

“Warden 06, do you read-” The voice got cut off before changing into a deeper, colder, voice. “Warden 06, you are to cease your search of the target’s dorm. We have narrowed down the location of Sophie Dives to the auditorium. Rendezvous there ASAP. Failure to do so will be met with severe punishment.”

The radio went completely silent. Gwyneth took out the batteries and took a shaky breath.

“Sophie’s in the auditorium?” Gwyneth whispered.

“From the sound of it, it looks like they were trying to keep it a secret too,” Eva commented.

“I knew it,” Anna muttered.

“What?” Gwyneth asked.

“Last night, when I was cleaning up the auditorium I heard a scream. I tried to follow it, but by the time I got to the theater all I found was a bracelet with Sophie’s name on the back of it,” Anna stood up. “I think something happened to her.”

“Why didn’t you bring this up before?” Gwyneth frowned.

“Because I thought it was just a coincidence,“ Anna’s face softened. “We have to tell Dr. Ward, if she knows that the Warden’s are acting out of line she might be able to stop them.”

“Sorry to break it to you, but the Warden’s are on the CCPD’s payroll- not the headmaster’s. I doubt they give two craps about what she wants,” Eva said.

“What other option do we have then?” Anna asked.

“We have to go and help her ourselves,” Gwyneth said with a serious tone.

“Are you crazy? She’s being hunted down by the Wardens right now, y’know like actual highly trained cops. On top of that, they’re on high alert, if they find us they’ll rip us to shreds,” Eva furrowed her brow.

“Not exactly,” Gwyneth turned towards her. “I’ve heard rumors that because of all the curfew violations yesterday the headmaster is pissed off at all the Wardens. She wants to make sure that not a single student misses it tonight. Me thinks- I think that they won’t head to the auditorium until after curfew. It gives us some time to break in.”

“You really believe those stupid overblown rumors? Give me a break, they’ll have Wardens posted all over the auditorium,” Eva groaned.

Anna walked to the curtains and opened them up. A view of the auditorium bathed in the light of the setting sun appeared with not a single soul in sight.

“Are you sure about that?” Anna said with a tiny jeer.

“Screw you,” Eva looked away and scratched her head.

“We don't have much time," Anna looked at her phone. "Curfews in three hours. If we're going to help Sophie, we should move now."

"You're still going to help?" Gwyneth asked.

"Of course, it doesn't sit well with me to stay still when someone needs help. Besides, who knows what the Wardens will do to her if one of them was ready to strangle us to death," Anna explained.

"Thank you," Gwyneth said quietly

Anna and Gwyneth looked at Eva who thought in silence. After a few moments she spoke.

"I wouldn't go as far as to say that she's in danger, but yeah, the sooner we find her the better," Eva said curtly.

"I really thought you would say no," Gwyneth said with a slightly stunned face.

"Don't act like you know how I think," Eva scoffed.

"Well, we better head out then. Let's go close up the receptionist's booth first," Anna said as she walked out of the dorm.

"Ever the worrywart," Eva grumbled.

. . .

Day began to bleed into night by the time they arrived at the auditorium. The weathered down entrance was chained and locked shut by a simple key lock.

“They locked it,” Anna stated bluntly.

“I guess this really means that Sophie is in here,” Gwyneth said with a worried face.

“Well she won’t be trapped here for long,” Eva said as she took out some of the bobby pins that held up her hair and kneeled beside the floor.

“What are you doing?” Gwyneth asked.

“Picking the lock, duh,” Eva replied as she started unlocking the door and blew some of her loose hair out of her face.

“Where did you learn that?” Anna asked.

“Would you believe me if I said daycare?” Eva turned around with a smirk as the lock clicked open. “We’re in.”

“Follow me,” Anna walked into the auditorium and towards the theater.

The work lights from the day before stood in the exact same spot. Anna turned them on, lighting the auditorium with a musty light. The three walked at a brisk pace while still scanning each room they came across, before turning towards the theater. Anna opened the door and looked at the rows of dimly lit seats.

“The only place I didn’t check yesterday was backstage,” Anna said as she made her way down the stairs and climbed onto the stage.

“This place gives me the creeps,” Eva muttered as she read the scratches on the podium.

Anna walked in between the curtains and into the dark backstage. She turned on her flashlight. Old props and backgrounds littered the floor. Rusting clothing racks filled with forgotten costumes loitered throughout the backstage. A large grandfather clock leaned against boxes stacked up high. The word “John” was painted onto it, it’s time was stuck at 3:13 PM.

“Wow, it's a whole lot of nothing,” Eva said loudly as she leaned against the grandfather clock.

“We at least have to try to look for her,” Anna said as she started searching the mess.

“But, there really is nothing here, Anna,” Gwyneth said sadly.

“We don’t have much time left either,” Eva glanced at her watch. “We should just head back and try again tomorrow before they catch us and we can’t try at all,” She looked at Anna, her long hair fluttering slightly in a soft breeze.

“Yeah... good idea,” Anna said with a slightly dejected tone before turning towards Eva. “What’s wrong with your hair?” Anna asked suddenly.

“What? I was too lazy to tie it back up after picking the lock,” Eva replied dismissively.

“No, why is it moving,” Anna asked again before walking towards the grandfather clock herself.

She felt around it looking for the source of the breeze. Eventually she found a small crack in the wall. Cold air trickled out of it slowly.

“Help me move this thing,” Anna said towards Eva and Gwyneth as she started trying to move the grandfather clock out of the way.

“This is heavy,” Gwyneth panted as she pushed as hard as she could.

“Just push,” Eva commented as she led the clock onto the floor. “Now what?” Eva asked Anna.

Anna picked up a broken off leg of a chair from the floor and smashed it against the crack. The wall crumbed into wet clumps of drywall that revealed the entrance to a tunnel.

“A tunnel?” Anna murmured.

“You are amazing at breaking things, y’know that,” Eva said blankly.

“D-Do you think that Sophie could be in there?” Anxiety lumped in Gwyneth’s voice.

“If this was a horror movie, sure, but to me that just looks like an effing death trap,” Eva shifted uncomfortably.

“We have to check,” Anna took a deep breath before stepping inside.

“Are you crazy?!” Eva grabbed her arm. “We have no idea where that leads, if there’s anything even in there or if there’s even a way out.”

“Where else could she be if the Wardens couldn’t even find her?” Anna tugged her arm away from Eva’s grasp.

“I don’t know, but I’m not gonna risk my life to find out,” Eva crossed her arms.

Anna’s breaths stiffened. She glared at Eva who returned the gesture.

“I-” Anna opened her mouth before being interrupted by the muffled echo of classical music.

“Nocturne op.9 No.2, Sophie’s favorite song. She set it as her ringtone…” Anna and Eva turned to face Gwyneth.

She clutched her phone close to her, she had dialed Sophie’s number while they were arguing.

Eva looked into the tunnel. Its jagged walls seemed like they were cut into the building itself. Drops of a mysterious liquid fell onto the floor with an unnerving pitter-patter. The end of the tunnel remained a mystery as it curved into an unknown depth.

“Still not doing it,” Eva swallowed nervously.

“Fine, you can stay out here. I’m going,” Anna steeled herself as she turned on her flashlight.

“Me too-” Gwyneth said as she took a step forward.

Her voice skipped into a shriek of terror. Anna and Eva turned around to see Caroline holding Gwyneth up by her hair.

“Warden 06 was right, there were some rats in the theater after all,” Caroline leered.

Anna sprinted past Eva and tried to help Gwyneth only to get kicked in the stomach. She fell onto the floor and curled up into a ball as she clutched her burning stomach.

“Let me go!” Gwyneth shrieked and tried to kick herself free.

Caroline swiftly jabbed her in the abdomen before dropping her. Gwyneth gasped as air escaped her lungs.

“And you?” Caroline turned towards Eva, her eyes glowing an ethereal dark green.

Eva looked at Anna and Gwyneth whimpering on the floor. Her face hardened.

“They didn’t deserve that,” Eva grit her teeth as she raised her fists.

“Hmm,” Caroline stepped over the two and towards Eva with her hands behind her back. “But Miss Sophie did?”

“Don’t act like you know everything, you crap shoveling pig!” Eva yelled as she jabbed at Caroline.

Caroline caught her first and pulled her close before headbutting her. The strength of the blow forced Eva onto her knees.

“Oh, Eva,” Caroline said in a condescending tone and got closer to her. “We know everything,” She whispered.

Caroline pulled back her fist. Eva sluggishly looked upwards, unable to move. She closed her eyes as Caroline swung at her face.

"You’re not hurting her anymore," Anna's shaky voice said.

Eva opened her eyes to see Anna holding Caroline's shoulder back to stop her from punching her.

"How persistent," Caroline said in an unamused tone as she elbowed Anna in her side.

To her surprise Anna didn't budge.

"You have no idea," Anna grunted as she stomped on the back of Caroline's knee.

Caroline hollorred in pain as she crumbled onto her knees.

"Take Gwyneth into the tunnel!" Anna screamed, struggling to hold Caroline down.

Eva looked at Anna stunned at how much she was fighting back. She groggily stood onto her feet.

"Hurry up and go!" Anna yelled again.

Eva's face burned into a furious frown. She closed her fist and grit her teeth before punching Caroline’s face with the full force of her body.

"Don't tell me what to do!" Eva roared as her fist collided with Caroline.

Anna let go of Caroline with barely enough time to evade the blow. Caroline held her bloodied nose as she struggled to move.

"Come on, Goldilocks," Eva said as she leaned Gwyneth on her shoulder.

Anna quickly grabbed Gwyneth's other shoulder. The two limped into the tunnel as fast as they could. Waves of frigid air poured out of the cracks of the tunnel as it curved deeper and deeper into darkness. The ground under their feet morphed from concrete to something squishy and wet. A sense of dread creeped down Anna's neck as the air became thinner. Sophie's ringtone distorted and echoed into noise before suddenly extinguishing into a deafening silence.

"Eva, can you see anything?" Anna asked loudly, her voice reverberating in her ears.

"I can't see shi-" Eva yelled in reply before suddenly screaming out of panic.

Anna felt the ground underneath her crumble into nothing. Her screams echoed endlessly as she plunged into absolute darkness.

[reliciron]

Decided to write out the important bit of my jedi consular’s backstory. 

It should be noted that he doesn’t technically want to die, he’s just very scared of his master and doesn’t see any way to escape. 

That said, at the end of the day he does try (and fail) to die by throwing himself at some jedi, so please don’t read if you’re uncomfortable with that.

Go to the northern reaches of Brentaal IV. There you will find a small Jedi temple: the place where Grand Master Satele Shan first trained.

It has enjoyed relative anonymity since, but this must change.

Infiltrate the temple. Slaughter everyone within. Show the Jedi that nothing is safe from the Sith.

Do this, my clever acolyte, and I will raise you from the shadows.

You will be my apprentice.

Dust kicks up as he races across the northern plateaus on his stolen speeder bike. It will take hours to track properly, with the damage he left behind. But by then he’ll have either completed his mission…

Or he’d be dead.

He clenches his teeth.

She was mad. She HAD to be.

No.

He shakes his head.

No. His master is many things, but not mad.

Just calculating. And he may be a mere acolyte, but he hadn’t survived this long without learning some of the game.

If her words were true, the Sith would send a platoon, or at least a full squad. Make a show of the massacre to demoralize the Republic and Jedi Order both.

One lone acolyte would not be enough to guarantee victory. Indeed, it was very likely that he would not survive the attempt at all, even with 6 years of careful training from his master.

He’d been her faithful servant. Her knife in the dark. She’d liberated him from Rattatak and kindly taken him under her wing as a boy. He’d learned to wear the Force like a shroud. Hide himself from sight and strike from the shadows.

She gave the word, and he carried out the sentence. A name, a picture, a place, and they’d be dead in a matter of days.

He couldn’t be her apprentice. No matter his talent, he was Rattataki. And as far as the anyone else knew, he didn’t exist.

He KNEW this. She’d said it so many times. But now she was offering it to him.

It wasn’t real.

And the impossibility of the task only affirmed his suspicions.

He was not MEANT to succeed.

He did not exist, yet as more Sith and Imperials fell before him it became harder and harder to keep his existence secret. And she would never let him go, not when he knew so much of her secrets.

He was a liability now. One she hoped would take care of itself in a pointless attack on a temple.

He should run. He SHOULD, but he CAN’T.

His throat goes tight and he slows down a bit as the temple’s coordinates loom on the navigation computer.

He’d tried to run once, before he’d truly understood how much of a PRIVILEGE it was to have been chosen by his mistress. He couldn’t recall the ‘how’s and ‘why’s anymore, but he remembered the punishment had gone on for well over a week.

Run and I’ll find you, little one. And I will not be so merciful the next time.

If he tries to abandon his duty, he’d die all the same, but she’d make sure to make it hurt. At least the Jedi would make it quick.

Yes.

If its one thing the soft-hearted fools abhorred, it was making a being suffer.

There was no way out for him, but an end by their sabers would be better than by her hand.

–

It had been laughably easy to enter the temple. The roomy interior had given him plenty of space to cloak himself and slip through without being noticed by the guardians. He’d made it all the way into the empty training room, where he’d entered a vent near the ceiling and used it to gain access to the meeting room.

Inside there were a handful of masters and their attending padawans, likely a collection of the strongest jedi in the temple. An incredibly foolish target.

But that was the point, wasn’t it.

He could have killed a great many by now. Picked off padawans one by one has he slithered through the building. Had he actually believed the lie his master had told him, he would have.

But he didn’t. And now these Jedi were his best chance for a swift end.

As he grips his lightsaber, he wonders, not for the first time, what his mother would have thought of him. He didn’t remember her, or much of Rattatak for that matter. But he hoped he’d grown to be a strong son, one who might have made her proud, had things been different.

He muffles the sound of the grate being opened, curls his toes over the edge of the vent frame, and leaps.

–

The creature had seemed to come from thin air.

A calm discussion with his fellow masters about possible changes to the curriculum one minute, and a whirl of dark robes and red light the next.

By the time he and the others managed to pull their lightsabers, 3 padawans lay crumpled on the floor with the attacker ready to strike again.

The battle had been vicious.

Master Evren nearly had a leg taken off, and Knight Balrus fell in a burst of lightning before Ixal finally got in under its guard to slice up through it’s hood.

It screamed, bringing its saber up in mindless defense as it clutched its smoking face, but it was a futile effort. He followed through, ducking its arm and spinning around behind to carve his saber deep across it’s back.

It folded like a house of cards, crashing to the floor in a heap of dark robes.

Not dead, but also not getting up any time soon.

Healers and medical droids are called, and to everyone’s relief no one was killed. But it still left them with a host of very injured jedi, and a deeply wounded assailant who should have never made it this far.

–

Once the others have been seen to, he and the few other jedi of rank gather in the assassin’s room.

The scans the droids provided them with were both enlightening… and disturbing.

A juvenile rattataki male, approximately16 years of age. Signs of extensive, long-term electrical trauma, 18 healed fractures, and general malnutrition. And that was all underneath the damage he himself had caused in the battle. Evidently he’d blinded the man - no, boy - in one eye, and his final strike had severed his spine. He was now paralyzed from the waist down.

Stars above.

It’s about an hour more before the boy comes to, numbed heavily around his injuries but not sedated.

They needed to speak with him, and it absolutely could not wait.

Even so, none of them are prepared for the tsunami of terror that all but knocks them off their feet.

He chokes and tugs desperately at his restraints, every inch a panicked child despite the destruction he’d wrought only a few hours ago.

It makes his stomach roil to know he’d not fought a man, but a boy.

“Peace, young one,” he says softly. And the single remaining eye fixes upon him.

A muscle jumps in the rattataki’s jaw before his face goes eerily blank, at odds with the fear still saturating the Force around them.

“My name is Master Ixal. I’m afraid you’ve committed some rather serious crimes here today, but I would like to talk, if you wouldn’t mind.” When all the boy does is stare at him, he smiles, “May I ask your name?”

There’s a long stretch of silence before the answer.

“Acolyte.”

His accent is Kaas-ian, but given that he’s an alien, there’s a very good chance that he was a slave.

“Is that your name, or the one you were given?”

He blinks, as if trying to parse the meaning.

“Did you ever have a different name?”

Something small and fragile flickers across the part of his face that is still visible.

“…. Faun.”

He sighs. Good. Not so far gone that he won’t answer questions entirely, “Faun then. Can you tell me why you’re here?”

“My master sent me.”

A sith then. Were they truly so desperate as to use children?

“They sent you to attack us?”

His eye closes and he seems resigned.

“Yes.”

“Who sent you? Are there more coming? Why is the temple being targ-?”

“It doesn’t matter, kill me and be done with it.”

“What-?”

“I killed your people and infiltrated your temple, is that not enough?!”

He seems desperate then, like a frightened animal, and the fear redoubles in the Force.

“Easy now,” he assures, “You killed no one, all those who were injured survived.” He frowns, “And you will not die for it. We certainly won’t be letting you go, but you will live and be treated fairly. But I can promise you, the more you help us now, the easier things will go for you in the future.”

Instead of being assured, the young man barks a harsh, bitter laugh.

“What, future?! I failed to die! Now my master will come for me to correct my failure!” He positively whimpers and shrinks in on himself, “She’ll be so angry! She’ll make it hurt! Why can’t you just kill me!”

They’re all taken aback by the outburst, but as his words start to sink in a sick feeling begins to settle in to Ixal’s stomach.

“What do you mean you ‘failed to die’?”

“You think I am a fool?!” he spits. “What else am I to believe when she gives me such an impossible task and promises rewards I knew could never be!” He sags onto the hospital bed. “I do not exist. She cannot allow me to be tied to her, and I was no longer worth the risk.”

He truly feared this master of his so much that he would willingly undertake a suicide mission? Stars above, what had this woman done to him?!

He shakes his head. They knew the why now, but not the how.

“How did you manage to make it all the way into the meeting room? You would have had to pass several guardians.”

The boy huffs, voice still raw and wavering, but evening out as they entered more neutral territory. “Your security is poor and my master trained me well. I cloaked myself in the Force, muffled my presence, and walked right passed them.”

A hint of pride threads through the fear in the air, but already a few of their number have left, unable to take such overpowering emotions.

Cloaking is a rare gift. That this young man is capable of doing so, well enough to fool full fledged jedi, is both dangerous and intriguing. Between that, his combat ability, and the hyper-projection of his emotions, they were dealing with a powerful force user, no matter his age.

It only occurs to him now that the young rattataki could have likely killed dozens of padawans and younglings before being discovered.

But he didn’t.

An idea starts to form but he’d need to consult his fellow masters first.

“Thank you, Faun, you’ve been very helpful. Please rest for now. We will speak again later.”

The boy looks wary as they leave, but more than likely the sedatives are already being administered through his drip. He won’t be conscious for much longer.

–

The discussion is heated, with several knights and masters arguing against it, but after consulting the Jedi Council, they finally come to an agreement.

They would attempt to rehabilitate Faun.

Turning a sith was notoriously difficult, but his youth would work in their favor.

The skills of an assassin, Force-cloaking especially, where nearly impossible to teach to jedi. Too close to the dark side for many to want to risk learning. But as much as they may wish otherwise, sometimes those skills were needed, and if they could earn Faun’s loyalty they’d have an invaluable ally.

It would be a long and delicate process. Mind healers would be needed to try and break the chains his master had instilled in his mind, and the physical reconstruction and recovery would be just as taxing.

There was no guarantee that it would work at all, but he genuinely believed it was worth a try.

The poor boy had been through so much. With a bit of work they might give him a second chance at a fulfilling life.

Dark-side or no, the Force practically hummed around him in a way Ixal had not seen since young Satele. He didn’t know what part this young man might play, but he had a feeling he may yet prove essential in the future.

This would not be the end the young man had sought, but a new beginning.

======

From there it takes a long time to deprogram him, and they need to install several internal cybernetic bypasses in his spine to get around the damage. At the end of it, he’s got a pretty serious scar that runs from right shoulder to left hip, a few numb patches on his lower back, and his eye is still blinded. He learns to hide his accent, too. And he’s somewhere in his late 20s-early 30s by the time the game starts.

He was sent to Tython as a fresh start for his padawan training, since no one there would know who he was, aside from the Council.

His companions don’t find out until they’re fighting the First Son and Syo tells them to try and get them to leave or turn on Faun. Zenith almost does leave afterwards, but after a long discussion they all stick with him.

[goddess-aelin]

This Road is Unforgiving

A Void!Bellamy fic loosely based off of the FourTris scene in divergent where she brings him back. 

A/N: This is my first fanfic! I’m both excited and nervous to show it to you guys but I had such a strong idea in my head that I needed to write it. I usually create drawings but I decided to branch out a little. Hope you enjoy! :)  

  Clarke’s senses came back to her all at once. Blinding white lights. The smell of disinfectant. The silence disrupted every few moments by mechanical beeping. Her head was pounding and opening her eyes only made it worse .Where was she? How did she get here? As she became more aware, she noticed smaller things. Voices talking in the distance. Weights on her wrists. The long spike that was inches from her forehead.  

     Bardo. She remembered the soldiers appearing out of nowhere. She tried her best to fight but it was hard to fight something she couldn’t see. She remembered her friends falling, one by one. And then blackness.

     A man in a rigid white uniform was standing a few feet from where she was laying, fiddling with some sort of technology. Clarke couldn’t see what he was doing but she could hear familiar voices. Voices that unlocked distant memories from ages ago. 

     “Oh good, you’re awake. I have some questions for you,” spoke an icy voice. Clarke took a closer look at the man in white. He was wearing pristine white robes, cleaner than anything she had ever seen. His face gave nothing away and his eyes held no emotion. 

   Trying to keep her fear under control, Clarke remained silent. She was used to this. She always had to turn her fear into determination and harden her resolve. She didn’t know who this man was but she knew that anyone who strapped her down and put a giant spike above her head couldn’t be trusted. 

   “Clarke, it’ll be easier for you if you just cooperate with me. Your friends already gave me most of the information I need.”  At that, Clarke’s eyes widened slightly in surprise. It didn’t go unnoticed by the man. But still, she did not speak. “Yes, Miss Griffin, we have your friends too. Most of them were very cooperative. A few needed a little...extra help to jog their memories.” Clarke suppressed a shiver. 

    “Clarke, I’ll be blunt with you. I need more information about the City of Light. It’s very important to the work that we do here and who knows that place better than you? I would like to make this easy for you but you have to tell me what I want to know. If not, I will take what I need by any means necessary. Unfortunately, that usually isn’t the most comfortable option.”  At the mention of the City of Light, Clarke pursed her lips and felt a small tug in the back of her mind.  On the screen in front of her appeared ALIE, looking at her from inside the city of light. Clarke took a slight breath in. Mind reading. So that was their game. 

   Careful not to divulge any more information, Clarke turned her thoughts elsewhere. She thought about her father, about Wells. That was safe information, right? There was no way they could hurt them or take any information from them. They both died too young. Before they could see what she had become. Emotion swept through her as she heard her father’s voice emerge from the speakers. A few tears escaped from the corners of her eyes at the memories that flashed by. She could tell the man was agitated that she bypassed her memories away from the City of Light. A defiant hope bubbled inside her. She was Clarke Griffin. She could do this.   

    “So that’s how we are going to play this, Clarke?” Her eyes flicked to the man in white. “I can make this hurt. But let’s try something else first.” Anger and a slight smugness crossed his features. As he turned away, he raised a speaker to his mouth and called for backup. “Bring him in.”

    Clarke took deep breaths and continued to focus on memories of her father, willing away the fear and grief that threatened to rise up. She had survived this long, she could survive again. 

   Suddenly, the white door opened and three guards shuffled through, wearing the same armor that the people who attacked her were wearing. Clarke tried to keep her breathing calm but could feel her heartbeat increasing with each passing second. She had no plan, no visible way out. There was no way for her to overpower four people, especially since she couldn’t even get out of the restraints. 

    One more person followed the soldiers through the door and her breath left her all at once. She knew those inky curls and freckles that reminded her of the constellations. 

    “Bellamy?” Her voice was nothing but a whisper. She couldn’t believe that he was actually here. What was he doing here? He smiled and she tried not to cry. If only she could reach out and touch him. 

   “Hey, Clarke. I know this is scary but you have to help these people. Just tell them what they want to know,” he said sweetly. At those words, Clarke’s heart skipped a few beats. Something wasn’t right. She turned to take a closer look at her best friend. He had shaved his beard, looking more like the Bellamy she used to know. Her co-leader, her confidant. Even the way he stood now reminded her of the confidence and arrogance he held before they truly understood each other. As she continued her scan of him, locking on his eyes, she knew. Her Bellamy had eyes that were so warm, so understanding. As she stared back at the man standing in front of her, she saw no emotion. There was a coldness and hardness that she had never noticed before. She wiped all emotion from her face as she turned to face the man in white. 

“What have you done to him?” Clarke could hear the grit in her voice, could feel the anger starting to bubble beneath her calm facade. 

    A sly grin crossed the man in white’s features. “You’re such an observant woman, Clarke.  But you’re also extremely obvious.  From Bellamy’s memories alone, we knew that we could use him to break you. You two are so far gone for each other, it’s actually somewhat ridiculous.” Clarke could feel pieces of her heart chipping away with each word the man spoke. “Bellamy resisted the mind probe. This is what happens when you try to be strong. We took his memories to help us and in return, we gave him an enlightenment he could never experience anywhere else. An even trade. Bellamy is a disciple now.” 

   A few tears escaped from the corners of her eyes. After everything she’s been through, all the people she’s lost, this by far was the worst. Her co-leader, her confidant, her best friend. The man she loved, though she hadn’t admitted that to anyone, was gone. At least in every way that mattered. The cycle of losing him and finding him was finally coming to an end. She felt numb. What was she even fighting for anymore? Every conflict in the past had cost her someone she loved.  And now, the only person who really understood her had been taken from her too. 

   “Did you change your mind, Clarke? Are you ready to tell us what we want to know?” She grit her teeth and exhaled through her nose, determined to stand strong. There was no way she would give them what they wanted, now.  If Bellamy was gone because this information was so important to them, then she would lock it away as retribution for a life they took from her. 

   If she could have moved, she would have spit and kicked and screamed. But the impulse was crushed the moment she looked back to Bellamy. More tears started to leak from her eyes. After everything, this was how it ended? Alone, with the ghost of a man she once knew. A man she loved.  

     “So we have our answer then. Let’s begin.” the man in white commanded. “Oh and Clarke? Just know that even in his final moments, he thought of you.”  Bellamy moved toward her and began to lower the spike closer to her head. She could feel the pain begin as she resisted their attempts at gaining information. A headache even worse than the one she had moments ago. “Dial it up again.” More pain. At this point she could feel the sweat start to run down her back, making her shiver. Her head felt as though it was about to burst. 

     Again, she looked to her left at Bellamy. Her resolve to resist was slowly waning with each second that passed. “Bellamy,” she choked out. Her heart lurched when his hardened eyes locked on hers. More tears fell. “If you need forgiveness, I’ll give that to you.” Clarke mustered a small, sad smile as she remembered that day by the tree after their fight with Dax. She had so much love and appreciation for this man. She closed her eyes and started to remember, listening to her memories as they came in flashes on the screen.  Co-leaders at the dropship. Teaching her how to shoot a gun. Closing the dropship door. Hugs, reunions, together. Making that stupid list. Watching the rocket taking off. Radioing him every day. Hearing his voice urging her to fight as he breathed life into her.  If you need forgiveness, I’ll give that to you. If you need forgiveness, I’ll give that to you. She focused on that one memory. The memory that brought her hope and relief in a world that was so unforgiving. 

    Clarke opened her eyes to look at Bellamy one last time. “Dial it up again.” Nothing happened. Bellamy was frozen in place, a look of confusion cemented on his features. His eyes were wide and his breathing came in short spurts. Clarke’s brows furrowed as they locked gazes. The pain was continuing to increase with each passing moment but through the fog, she could’ve sworn that she noticed a warmth in Bellamy’s eyes that wasn’t there before. Before she could make sense of anything, three loud shots rang out, reverberating off the smooth metallic walls. Through her haze of pain, she could see a head of curls by the screen in front of her, rapidly pressing buttons and tampering with the equipment. She could feel the pain in her head suddenly subside, though the haze in her mind remained. Weights were lifted from her wrists and she could feel the pin prick on her forehead release. 

     She felt arms wrap around her tightly and with them came clarity. Clarke took a deep breath in. She felt safe, peace. She felt at home. Clarke pulled back slightly only to realize that her face was sticky with sweat and tears. She felt Bellamy’s thumbs come up to wipe under her eyes and raised her gaze to look at him. 

   “Clarke. I’m so sorry,” he choked out. She could feel him shaking as his hands ran from her face to her shoulders to her waist. Her grip on his arms tightened. They both sobbed, grateful that they were here in this moment, together. He slowly brought their foreheads together and they each let out a sigh of relief. She could just make his freckles out through her glossy vision, a thought that made her pulse slow.   

  “Bellamy….you’re here?” She could taste the salt as the tears continued to roll down her cheeks to her lips. She felt every emotion all at once. Relief, anger, a happiness she hadn’t felt in a while. Hope. 

   “I heard you. Maybe they thought they took my memories but it’s more like I was locked inside my head. Hearing your voice calling from under the tree during our trip to the bunker jogged something. It was like a switch flipped inside me and my memories came rushing back. You forgave me like you always do. It’s kinda our thing so it’s fitting that it would bring me back to my senses.” He let out a chuckle. She smiled as a giddy giggle threatened to erupt. A brilliant smile crossed his face. She pulled him back toward her, hugging as tightly as she could, and buried her face into his neck. Her feelings started to bubble to the surface, threatening to spill out. She held them back. There would be time for that later, she would make sure of it. Even though they weren’t safe yet and they still had a long way to go, they were still breathing. And they would face whatever came their way together. 

[mka1098]

My Love is God

My Love Is God

Veronica x JD modern AU 

Rating: M

Warnings: swearing; death; murder; depictions of violence and blood; mentions of sociopathy and insanity; sex

I have a couple of things to explain about this AU because it’s a bit confusing. This is also gonna be a mess since I’m trying something new here. 

Backstory: JD and Veronica met in the lunchroom of their senior year when JD moved to her school. They met in a 7-11 and he was drawn to her and she didn’t push him away. They made close friends and he was so utterly in love with her. JD admitted his family problems to her and a lot of the deranged thoughts in his head. Veronica loved him a lot so she calmed him down and took him to therapy. It took time but he began to control his bloodlust and anger issues. Being 18, he moved out of his father’s house and found an apartment nearby Veronica’s home. JD became a normal teenager, more troubled than most but never wanted to do anything like bomb the school again. Veronica was his lifeline. She had saved him and helped him and he knew that. He fought his dangerous tendencies and continued going to therapy. One day, Veronica got into a huge fight with her best friend, Heather Chandler, who wanted her to get with one of the college boys at her party. It ends with them no longer being friends and Veronica humiliates Heather but reveals that Heather was too scared to even get close to kissing the college guy she was with. Heather is angered by this and hatches a plan to kill Veronica; she succeeds. And JD has just found out. 

Go easy on me please; it’s my first time writing present tense and I’m very lost 

My Love Is God

Heather Chandler hums to the mirror in her locker. Powdering her face during the passing period between the 4th and 5th period had become a regular affair. Her face got so oily; what a treacherous look would it be if people saw her face shiny? Biting her lip, Heather adjusts the red scrunchie in her hair. Ram has previously mussed it up in class and if not for her reputation; she’d rip hima  new asshole.

“Heather.” A voice calls behind her. Her eyes roll back in annoyance; who the hell thought that they were good enough to address her? 

“What in god’s name, do you want.” She says with bite in her voice. Her view catches on a darkened teen-boy. His long trenchcoat looked solely out of fashion and terrible for the nice summer weather. Her nose crinkled at his look. Face nearly covered up to the eyes, the boy stares directly at her. His dark brown eyes narrow into slits. 

“I’d like to take this outside.” He says with a dead tone. Heather’s eyes roll. What was the point of entertaining some idiot’s needs?

“Look, I don’t give a fuck about what you like. I have people to attend to, so unless you have an upper. Get. Out. Of. My. Way.” She snaps. His expression remains unfazed, much to her annoyance. He was supposed to cower and fade into the background. What a \\\ douche. She fluffs her ponytail and steps out away from her locker. 

“If that’s what it will take.” He calls after her. Heather spins around, glaring at him harshly. If this kid was kidding, she was going to end him. Heather puts out her hand, accepting the offer. “One the condition… we take this outside.” He continues. His stare was burning into hers. Heather inwardly scoffs at that, she had a harsh look and didn’t appreciate anyone matching it. 

Heather breaths in but finally caves. She was fresh out and in need. “Fine.” 

The teen doesn’t say much to her on the way; he was taking long, stiff strides. His arms and hands were clenched into fists. Heather had become a master of reading body language. This boy had a plan, but clearly, was unsure about it. Heather spoke not a word. Her eyes scan over him like a hawk. His appearance did merit a reliable product, that was for certain. That terrible coat would be great for cover. 

“Where are you taking me?” Heather demands. It had registered that she had not a clue his name minutes prior however, she knew better than to act like a fool and ask like a child. “I have places to be after this. Do not, make me late. You will regret up.” Heather says haughtly, giving no empty promises. 

He stops suddenly, their surroundings were empty streets and a 7-11 in only the visible future. Heather growls harshly under her breath. “You want to know where we are? We’re here. Where it all began.” He spoke in a low tone. It was slightly raspy and very attractive if she were to be honest. Heather’s perfected blonde brow rose. 

“I know your plan. I catch on quick. I get it, I’m hot, I’m a heather. I’m the Heather. If you want a quickie I take them in a closet. You’re just extra.” Heather says in a cackling tone. If only the other Heather were here; they’d love the show of embarrassing a loner. 

The boy’s expression began to morphe, not into embarrassment, not into fluster, not even impression. Instead, his hand reaches up to the hood and it tugs the fabric down behind him. “I’m not interested in fucking you.” He says in a deadpan tone. Heather laughs in a wicked way. This boy was stupid, sure but amusing as well. 

“That’s cute.” She says, putting on a seductive smirk. The boy scowled at her. 

It was now she could see his features; somewhere in her mind, there was a face match. Perhaps his father was a movie star? His hair was messy and long; skater boy hot indeed. His jaw, sharp as ever. Wide nose, but not bad. His face sure matched his voice. 

Heathers tsks approvingly. “I get what I want though. Don’t hold back.” She winks at him. He frowns harder. 

“I’d like to talk to you about someone.”

Heather licks her lip. “Enlighten me.” Her voice having now a delicate flare to it. 

The boy glares at her. “Veronica Sawyer.” He says in a harsh tone. 

Oh. Her. She was a nuisance, to say the least. Heather sighs heavily and rolls her eyes. “Do we have to? Her funeral was last month. It’s kinda overrated.” She says mindlessly. His face tightens. 

“You were the last to see her alive.” He accuses her. Heather’s eyes roll again; God, why he about Veronica? Heather was a hot bitch and in front of him. Besides, Sawyer was being a pain in the ass, not the mention a huge snitch. 

“Not really The hospital medics took her in. They didn’t let me in.” Her lips purse into a pout. “It was unfortunate. I tried to warn her from stepping into the road. The cars were going oh so fast.”

The boy snarled at her. “Don’t act so innocent. You hated her. You were friends and then you hated her.” 

Heather gasps dramatically. Sure it was suspicious but she had been playing it off so well! “How dare you! Do you even know how traumatic that was? Watching even ex, your best friend die! The therapy has finally stopped my self-blame.” Heather defends. 

“Don’t even try and think that act works on me.” He growls. 

Heather let out a high-pitched sobbed. “Why do you-”

“WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!” He shouts at her. Heather steps back in shook. That was unexpected. 

“I know you killed her.” a finger shoves into her vision. “I know because she was so scared of going. But she went anyway because goddamnit she just had to see the best in people and hope for the best. She went because she wanted things to be just a bit more okay with you guys. But she was so scared, she knew you were going to do something; I knew you were gonna do something. You pushed her in front of that car. And I know you cackled like a fucking witch while doing it.” The boy’s mouth sprouts word afterword; his fury was increasing more and more in the most obvious way. 

Heather racks her brain. Who was he? Why did he talk to Veronica? That girl only had two other friends after Heather let go of… oh… ohhhhhh.

“So what.” She says with danger. “You as her pretty little boyfriend is now going to cry about it? Get over it, she was no big thing. I’m sure the sex wasn’t that good to miss it. We’re all long past; catch up.” Heather steps forward, her intimidation factor went higher and higher up. “Calm your tits JD. No one else is worried. Learn to read a room.” 

JD’s face explodes into angry. “You dumb bitch. You’ve never cared for a single person in your life, have you? Well, let me tell you this. We were in love. So in love. She was the best person on this shithole we call earth. Veronica saw only the best and fixed anything she could. She never turned away from someone who needed help. She fixed me. She stayed with me. And you took the brightest light away.”

Heather let out a huge laugh. “Wow, dramatic. Definitely her little plaything. Love is overrated. She’s not anything anymore. Get past yourself and find a new slut.” She says with amusement. “Be glad she died painlessly. That was the best gift I could give her. Well, painless after she was dragged across the street, but still.” Her laugh fluffed and sugared; JD didn’t seem to apparatus it. How rude. 

“She hated you. She pitied you. She almost wanted to take you to therapy like me. But in the end, she decided you weren’t even worth the effort.” JD says darkly. Heather’s expression quickly shut down. Had she heard him correctly. 

“Very funny joke.” She attempts her easy-going tone of voice but the slip-up didn’t pass him by. His mouth twists into a grin. 

“Denial. Now you know how it feels. Rejection, you’re getting a lot of frists today. Congratulations princess of the fucking school.” JD’s voice echoes all around her. Coated in a thick layer of sarcasm and condensation, he spits it out at her. “Veronica felt sorry for you. That’s why she joined your little club. Sorry for the little princess who no one really cared about. She thought, maybe I can help her. But you want to know what happened? She met you and realized… what mattered? Certainly not you. Why else did you think she took Duke to the doctors? Duke was meant enough to the world to be fixed and now she’s all brand new. Mcnamara got a personality, kinda. But Veronica thought anyone worth it, was. Too bad that wasn’t you.” His wicked smirk sears her eyes. 

“You’re bullshit,” Heather growls. He laughs;  the sound is demented. 

“Am I? Or am I right?” He continues his speech. “My Veronica wanted to help people. She did. She helped me, she saved me. She saved Martha, Duke, everyone. Just not you. You’re not going anywhere. Everyone knows… don’t you?” 

His words pound into her head. Like in a small tunnel, they echo and get louder. “Shut up.” She snaps weakly. Her ears were about to bleed. Her head began to scream. How long had it been going on? The looks; the pitying looks? The laughs, the condescending laughs that she should have been the one making. She was the queen of the school; she was going to the top of the world. Did everyone think she’d melt to the bottom? “Shut up!” JD’s voice didn’t stop. Their pace; increased. The volume; skyward. 

“Veronica would have been here to tell me to stop; to tell me to go home. She would have said, breath a little and remember me. Her hand would have touched my shoulder and slowly she would walk me home and talk about anything she could do to help. She would have cleared my mind, given me my meds, and sang a song terribly to ground me. Veronica would have been here. But she’s not.  Actually, even if was alive, she’d wouldn’t do anything of that. She’d probably dance around with me with a smile on her face saying, babe you’re doing great..” JD’s voice became mixed with wicked, deranged laughter. Like her own evil cackles, but much, much worse. The insane glint in his eyes was terrifying.

She sucks in a breath; one final one to perceive her dignity, her pride. “Veronica this. Veronica that. For the love of god, she’s DEAD! She doesn’t matter anymore, you fucking jac- oof” Heather fell forward. Had he punched her in the stomach? What a weirdo! Heather went to take in a breath, only to find she couldn’t. What the fuck? The pain was there in her body; it was growing exponentially fast. Her eyes trailed down and oh- oh- oh holy mother of fucking shit!

“DID YOU FUC-” She not longer had the ability to speak; not when there was a knife sticking out of her body. JD’s eyes stare down the crumbling girl. 

His face, wide with a grin. 

His hands, perfectly clean. 

His insanity bared itself to the world. 

“You fucking psychopath.” She growls her last words. The red liquid was leaving her body fast. 

JD remains unfazed. His deaden look, his empathy free eyes. “Sociopathic tendencies, actually. Diagnosed. They’re actually not that dangerous. This? This the anger-management issue at work.” He smiles. “This is what it feels like on the other side of the killing.” He crouches down to meet her face to face. Heather musters the strength to growl. 

“What do you... want me to say? Dear diary? My teenage angst bullsh- bullshit now has a body count?” She snarls back. JD laughs. 

“No.” His voice, dark as ever.  “You’ve never loved a person in your life clearly. And no one has ever loved you, not a surprise there.” He stands up straight, looming like a darkened villain. “Let me tell you something. I love Veronica Sawyer. She was going to be Veronica Dean. I love her. More than anything in this fucking shit-world. I’ll worship her till the end of time. We had the strongest love in the universe. She was a goddess; you shouldn’t have killed her.” 

Heather’s eyes roll for the last time. “Dear god, this whole love shit you’re trying to pull on me is really annoying the last minutes of my death” She voices drily. JD crouches down to her again, lifting her chin with a rough tug. 

“Our love was so strong; it could have killed dinosaurs. I’ll settle for killing you though.” He threw down her face aggressively. The blood letched out to the ground. She scowls for the last time. 

“We could have made a pretty good murder couple.” She comments.  JD laughs and steps away, removing black gloves to shove in his pocket. “Dear God, just kill me now.” Heather expresses haughtily. 

JD laughs darkly. “Right you are my dear. Veronica and I… our love was god; it could have killed worlds. But she’s gone now. I’m left. So yes. My love is god.” Heather’s eyes began to feel heavy; was he slipping away farthing into the distance or was she dying faster? This was it wasn’t it? She grimaces. 

“My love is god. It has killed you. Isn’t that just beautiful?” 

Okay, I know it seems like I made Veronica seem like a Mary Sue and JD as this romantic guy. Let me explain things now that I have finished the story. 

Veronica hated Heather C and after helping JD, she started helping other people but she chose not to help Heather C who clearly has problems

Veronica was actually kinda okay with the murder. There was nowhere to put this and I briefly mentioned it, sorta at least, but if she didn’t like the person she was fine with JD killing them. She wanted to curb JD’s bloodlust, but she had accepted it as part of him and never was fully like THIS IS WRONG. As JD said, she would have laughed with him as he killed Heather C. 

Veronica was also kinda manipulative. I didn’t know where to put this but basically, Veronica started to isolate Heather without her even knowing. She’s not a Mary Sue, I swear it’s just not a long story

Heather C. had a lot of clear mental issues that Veronica literally just ignored and used to her advantage. She has such narcissistic behaviors, Veronica was able to get people to turn on her all while she thought she was the queen

People stopped caring about Heather C. Like they basically just made fun of her and were sarcastic to her. But with all of her mental issues and stuff, it twisted in her mind to make them think they were worshipping her. People shot her dirty looks or laughed at her, but she didn’t notice that. 

Heather D. got help for her bulimia because of Veronica. She thus was given kindness and was not a huge bitch 

Heather M. also became less of a bitch. She wasn’t one before, it was just she followed Heather C. around too much. Veronica helped her. 

Martha had Veronica back and it helped her feel like she had a true friend and ended up saving her from her depression

VERONICA IS STILL NOT AN ANGEL I REALIZE THAT’S HOW IT SOUNDS 

JD is possessive and Veronica has learned to live with it. It’s kinda unhealthy but not dangerous to her so that’s why she puts up with it. It’s directed towards other people

JD praises Veronica. She is the only thing in his life. She’s his mildly unhealthy but weirdly good fixation 

JD is adamant he and Veronica will end up together. There is nothing else. It will happen in his mind. His head is still a little twisted, though better than before. He’s not trying to kill for baby reasons now. He’d kill for Veronica and that’s basically it

Veronica’s parents do not like JD but deal with him for her 

Heather C. invited Veronica to a girl’s trip to bond a bit and make-up, then she pushed her into a street. Veronica didn’t want to go but she was too trusting and nice, like how she was in the movie and musical n trusting JD

JD goes on to flee the town and Heather C. Is discovered to be dead at the end of the school day

Now, I’m not totally sure what this is. It was an idea in my head and I needed it out. It’s not very good, It’s not the level of gore and blood I think my honestly messed-up mind needs to get out, but it can suffice Basically, I have my own mental problems, though I don’t know what they are currently, but they do give me a lot of problems. Writing is my healthy way of expressing them rather than screaming at my friends. That was my old way… not good. Anyways, hope you guys liked this story. 

[make-it-mavis]

Homesick (Entry #28)

(cw: drugs/addiction) ----------

01/14/88   2:45 PM Hey.

Even if I didn’t let myself believe I had an addiction, I could not deny my blatant downward spiral. 

My second hit of GC really woke me up in that regard, I think. I felt completely justified while immersed in my hallucinations, but realizing what I’d really been doing all that time was humiliating and, honestly, a bit scary. If I’d taken that hit during gameplay hours, I’d have gotten my game unplugged. I’ve never exactly been a gentle sweetheart, but I’d like to think I’m not a violent maniac. I just wasn’t myself. I can’t afford to lose track of myself.

So I tried to pull myself out of that nosedive. Put a stop to the downward spiral and reclaim control of myself. Wanting to quit was a step. Promising myself that I’d quit was a step. But they weren’t exactly headed in the right direction. Thing is, I was so deep into the dark, I didn’t know which way led out anymore. I’m sure I thought I was walking out, but I was just venturing deeper. Very efficiently. Led by the light of three little words:

Just one more.

I needed that last hit and I was going to get it. With no credits to speak of, and a decent sum of the arcade afraid of me, the method seemed clear: Intimidation.

It was risky. If the Surge Protector caught wind of it, I’d be in a heap of trouble. But he’d been off his game for a while, for reasons I didn’t know at the time. I’d be able to duck him easily -- the real threat was my, I dunno, victim blabbing about me. Anyone else’s word was better than mine to him. 

I’d have no luck trying to intimidate a dealer; they’re too experienced, certainly deal with threats a lot, and are familiar enough with how the SP works to screw me over and still get away unscathed. No, there was another opportunity I had to take advantage of. All the frightened sprites, never taken a buff before, turning straight to GC to chase the bad things away. Newbies. 

I’m not proud of what I did. Honestly? I’d even say I’m ashamed. Like I said before, I don’t really care about appearing kind, but I never really want to be cruel. Sometimes, my will to survive just trumps that. If I need it, I’ll get it. And I needed GC. I didn’t want to believe it, but I did.

So, what did I do? I waited in Jungle Hunt, a little ways off from where my usual dealer meets her customers, scanning for any sign of movement. I ran through in my head what to do if things went south. I brought a real knife with me just in case, but I was very weak from impending withdrawal and buff use. I’d lose a fight if it came to that. I’d just have to really sell my scary vibe and hope for the best.

Finally, after Devs know how long of perching in a tree trying to think through my pounding headache, I saw someone pushing through the undergrowth. I put your charred goggles over my eyes, pulled your scarf up over my nose, and dropped down.

They screamed so loud when they saw me in their path, I heard birds call and fly off in the distance. 

“Hand it over,” I said.

I don’t remember what their voice sounded like, but they stammered, “Wh-What?”

I pulled my face gear down to try to see them properly, but… didn’t succeed. Through split second frames of static, I could see that their pixels were blurred out from head to toe, no matter how hard I blinked. I could at least tell that they were bigger than me, but that doesn’t exactly narrow things down. Most sprites are. All I could decipher was the lovely yellow ‘?’ block wherein my prize was held, and that was all that mattered.

“Hand it over,” I insisted.

They stepped back. “The… The block?”

I rolled my eyes. “No, your heart. Yes, dumbass, now give it here before I take it.”

“Well…” they stood a little straighter. “W-Why should I?”

Good on them for trying.

“Because GC is a dangerous and highly addictive buff known to cause corruption in overdose. I’m doing you a favor.”

“Bullroar,” they said, “don’t pretend you care about me. I know you want it for yourself.”

“No crit.”

“Well, you can’t--” their voice cracked, “can’t have it. I paid good credits for this, so… so you can go ahead and do the same. I’m not scared of you.”

I laughed. “Sure you are. You’re scared of Turbo, ain’t ya?”

They flinched. “What? N-no I’m not.”

“Yes you are. You’re terrified of what he did. And that horrible, haunting, homicidal demon? Maybe you haven’t heard, but he and I--” I crossed my fingers, “-- were pretty close. We shared everything. I’ve heard sprites say we shared two halves of the same code. You know the one difference we have that’s keeping me from doing what he did?”

They had completely backed up against a tree. Even through the fog, I could see them shaking. They seemed too petrified to answer.

I leaned a little closer, “Motive. He found his reason. I’m still waiting for mine. So, you can give me that GC…” I flipped out the knife and pointed it where I assume their face was, “...or you can give me a reason.”

That hit the mark.

“Okay, okay, just take it!” They quite nearly threw it at me. Once it was in my hands, they tried to make a break for it, but I overtook them easily and cut them off.

“Ah, ah! We’re not done here,” I said. “One last thing. Keep your mouth shut, and we’ll never have to speak to each other again. If you so much as breathe a word about this to the Surge Protector, I’ll know. You can if you want, but before you do, just ask yourself how much you value your game. Yeah?”

“Y-yes--”

“Speak up.”

“Yes ma’am!”

I snorted. “Weirdo. Alright, get outta here. Thanks for the GC.”

I went back to my game to take it, still taking that monumental risk. My fear of corruption was still not real enough to spur any caution in that regard. A lot of me was still pretty freaked out over being out in public for too long, let alone being in public and high off my ass. I thought of all the sprites I’d seen before I was attacked, the unwitting GC addicts lying completely vulnerable on the port station couches. I thought of how easy it would have been for me to do whatever the hell I wanted with them, if I weren’t a better sprite. I couldn’t put myself in that position. The risk of violence felt so much more real than the risk of some enigmatic fate that could only belong in nightmares. Nightmares aren’t real. Murderers are. 

So, I got back to my den. I took some deep breaths, and tried desperately to find something close to a good state of mind. This hit had to be better than the one that landed me in Fix-it’s apartment. It would be my very last, so it just had to count. 

I took it.

Y’know how sometimes you fall asleep and it feels like the entire night lasted only a blink?

I blinked, and I was staring at my reflection. It took me a minute to even realize anything happened. I was sitting cross-legged on the edge of the river, hunched over like a vulture, staring at my own bright-blue-eyed face. My eyes were dry and shot, as if I hadn’t been blinking. I tried to move, but my legs had gone completely numb beneath me. That’s also when I realized I was, for some reason, completely naked.

I could also already feel my high beginning to taper down. I’d lost the entirety of my trip. That fact felt like a rock in my gut.

I don’t think it was so much the fact that I missed the high itself that bothered me. Yeah, I was disappointed. I’d gone through all the trouble of threatening some poor slob to get that high, and I didn’t even get to experience it. But more than that, I started to feel disgusted with myself for risking so much for something that wasn’t even worth it.

I was even more pissed at myself for how badly I wanted more.

Feeling like complete garbage, I painfully unfolded myself and lowered onto my back in the mud. I stretched out my stiff legs until my heels felt flowing water.

That’s when things, as ever, got weird. Really freakin’ weird.

I heard a voice mutter my name. It was cold and distorted, so much that I almost thought I had imagined it (which I technically did, I suppose). A quick glance around offered no insight. I heard it again, and realized I was piecing together words in the babbling of the river at my feet. That was enough for me to brush it off completely as harmless tricks of the ear and lie back down. Until it formed a full sentence.

It asked, “Are you gonna ignore me forever, or what?”

Okay.

I replied with my own question. “Ballpark, how high am I right now?”

“For any buff other than GC, you’d be in the high-as-balls ballpark,” it told me, “but as it stands, you’re almost done here.”

“Great,” I sighed. “That’s what I figured.”

The voice scoffed. “Well, no need to pout about it.”

“I’m not pouting. Maybe I’m a little pissed that this last high crapped out on me so hard.”

“So what? Just take another one.”

I paused, and I stared up at the stars silently for a minute. I suddenly felt so profoundly exhausted. Rubbing my eye, I said, “Yeah, I’m not doing this.”

“Doing what?”

“Whatever subconscious BS this is. I’m not gonna sit here arguing with my inner demons or some stupid crap. If you wanna be a sentient river and splash around my feet, knock yourself out. Just don’t talk to me.” 

“Well, you’re in a mood,” it might have rolled its eyes if it had any.

“That’s talking. Zip it.”

“You really want to lay your grouchy ass down and waste the rest of your high?”

“What the hell else am I gonna do? Other than make small talk with-- with whatever the hell you are.”

I heard a smile in its voice. “I’m just your voice of reason.”

I frowned. “Uh, yeah, I’m pretty sure you’re the exact opposite of that.”

“Okay,” it said in a challenging tone, “Say something smart, then, if you’re so reasonable.”

I didn’t answer right away. I took a moment to realize that I’d been thinking more clearly than I’d been able to for a long time. Not crystal clear, not enlightenment -- I think I was just more or less able to let some things sink in. The loudest and most important of these things was,

“This is over.”

It paused, as much as a river can pause. “Come again?”

“I can’t… I can’t keep doing this. This was my last hit.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because if I take so much as one more, I’ll freakin’ corrupt, that’s why.”

It scoffed. “If that’s what you’re afraid of, take it outside your game.”

“I don’t wanna die either, dickweed.”

“You won’t!”

“Yeah, I almost definitely will!”

“No, you won’t,” it hissed firmly. “Something like this can’t kill you. Not after everything you’ve survived. If you were anyone else, you’d have died a long time ago, but you’re not. You’re Make-it freakin’ Mavis. You survive.”

It was right. It was so right, in ways it didn’t intend to be. Shame squirmed around in my belly -- the very same self-disgust that made me grateful you couldn’t see me. But this time, it was too much. This time, the weight of it shifted something inside me.

“You’re right,” I said.

“Yeah, see?”

“You’re right,” I nodded, “I’m Make-it freakin’ Mavis, and I can’t let this kill me.”

“...What?”

Acid boiled in my chest. I was scolding myself, and it did not feel good. I didn’t want to think about the things I’d done, but I chose to rub my own nose in it. “What the hell have I been doing? Why am I slowly killing myself like this? This is pathetic. This is cowardly. This is running away with my tail between my legs. Make-it Mavis doesn’t run away. Pathetic cowards do.”

“Interesting take,” it said slowly. “So what are you gonna do now?”

“Not more GC, that’s for sure.”

“I see. So you wanna stop running away from your problems, and instead…let yourself get crushed by them. You survive, girl. Sometimes that means fleeing when you know you don’t stand a chance.”

“I do stand a chance,” I grit my teeth, “so long as I’m still breathing.”

“Okay,” it sounded distinctly unimpressed, “so what’s your game plan? Just how do you plan on fighting the pain? You think you’re ready for that?”

“I…” I sighed and rolled onto my side in the cold mud. “I’m not. But I don’t want to die.”

“Well, that’s admirable. Most sprites in your position probably would -- I mean, c’mon, let’s see…”

“Don’t.”

“Your life as you knew it is decimated. You lost both your jobs, you lost your favorite pastimes, you lost your place in society, you lost your coded gift of creation that literally defines you. You’ve only got three allies in this -- one of which you’ve already pissed off enough to lose, another of which you lied to so you could do this, and another of which you literally do not know how to be nice to. Wreck-it hates you now, and Tapper and Fix-it won’t be far behind. You know why? They’ve got a lick of sense in their heads, which is more than can be said for your best friend, who, by the way, is dead.”

I didn’t respond. I just pulled my knees to my chest and listened to the river flow by. Nothing it said hit too hard. I heard that very same script in my head every time I was sober. Hearing it out loud from this imaginary being just sort of felt like my problems were being propped up in front of me, so I could see just how tiny I am in comparison. So I could see that it was a losing fight.

“You got nothing now, Mavis. You’re more alone than you’ve ever been,” the river said casually. “Power to you for not wanting to give up, but who’s left that’s worth the trouble of playing it safe?”

I took a moment. I was not about to lose this fight.

“Me.”

It paused, and then sputtered a short, watery laugh. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Me, damn it,” I snapped, sitting up to stare at the plain riverbank. “You think I’ve got nothing now? Glitch, I had nothing when I was plugged in. But you know what? I made it. I made stuff to live for. Anything that’s ever made me happy, I got to experience because I was there for me. I’m not going to risk throwing away all that survival just so I can get high for a few hours. That’s stupid, that’s pathetic, and that’s beneath me. I owe my own safety to myself.”

It gave a weird, bubbly snort. “Just yourself, huh? That’s pretty pathetic. Pretty telling of the miserable life you lead. No one’s there for you, so you gotta be your own best friend, is that right?”

“No. No, my real--” my breath caught for a second, and I had to stop to breathe, “-- my real best friend would have been here for me, too. And I… I owe it to him to stop running away.”

At that, it outright cackled in a way that made my skin feel tight. “You say that like he wouldn’t be running right alongside you!”

“He wouldn’t. He’d see how stupid this is.”

“Nah, you’d rope him into it. You’re an expert enabler, don’t you remember? Whose hand-made buffs won the title of ‘Turbo’s First Addiction?’”

I felt sick. “That was a long time ago. Neither of us knew any better.”

“If he were here, you’d take GC together, and you’d both get hooked, and he’d corrupt. And it’d be your fault.”

“You wanna act like you know him better than I do?”

“Did.”

“Shut up,” I hissed. “I know what he would do. Like Tapper said… about if he saw me like this. He’d see that it’s ridiculous. He’d see that I’m better than this, and he wouldn’t sit back quietly about it. He’d tell me. He’d tell me right to my face, with no sugar coating. And he’d be right to do it.”

“I think you’re hoping that he saw you as better than you actually are.”

“I’m not, actually. Fix-it does that. T didn’t. He actually--” I had to breathe again, feeling myself beginning to shake. “He saw--... He saw me exactly as I was. He knew I’m a bit of a-- y’know, a goblin most of the time. But I-- I think that’s… just the way he liked me. He knew everything I wasn’t. But it just seemed like he was only interested in everything I was.”

The river did not speak, but I could swear the water ran colder on my toes. It seemed to be waiting impatiently for me to finish.

I closed my eyes and spoke mostly to myself. “I owe it to him to stay everything that I am.”

“Why?!” The river suddenly snapped, and it rushed by faster than before. “That lying son of a glitch doesn’t deserve it! He’s the one who got you into this mess in the first place! He ruined your life! He LEFT you! He broke his freakin’--”

Splash. 

I kicked my heel hard into the water. It was hardly enough to upset an entire river, but I’d had enough of this stupid hallucination. At first, it seemed to work. But I heard words between the babbles again before too long.

“Yeah,” it said, almost breathlessly, “yeah, it hurts, doesn’t it?”

“Shut the hell up,” I grumbled, pulling my knees to my chest.

“Me? You’re the one who screwed up. You let him get into your head. And the pain will never go away. Not ‘til the day you’re deleted, and even then, who knows?”

“He didn’t get in my head,” I lied poorly.

“Ha, ha, ha,” it laughed humorlessly. “No, no, I see. We’re way beyond brains now, aren’t we? He didn’t just get into your head, he shot straight freakin’ through it and took a chunk with him -- the chunk that’s sensible enough to know not to let him get into your heart.”

I dug my nails into my leg. “Stop it.”

“So he got in. He laid his roots, and he laid them deep. Must’ve really hurt like a glitch when he yanked them all out, huh?”

Despite myself, I felt my eyes start to sting, if only over how badly I wanted to wring the nonexistent throat of the river. “You’re not gonna make me take more GC,” I warned it. “So just give up.”

“I can’t make you do anything,” it said. “But you haven’t got much time left in this high. After this, you’re really on your own, until… who knows, maybe forever. But I’m still willing to help you, if you’ll just let me.”

I muttered, “I don’t need your help.”

“Who else is gonna help you?”

“I DON’T NEED ANYONE’S HELP!”

I lunged forward so that my hands sank hard into the muddy riverbank, and my pounding heart skipped two beats the moment I saw my reflection form on the rippling water.

It was, once more, the face I had seen reflected on my broken paint can -- bloodied, misshapen, hated, and alone.

I screamed and swiped at the water’s surface, as if I could claw the image out of it and tear it to pieces, but thankfully, I didn’t have to. Once the water settled into its course again, all I saw looking back at me was me. Naked, muddy, bright-blue eyed, but me all the same.

And the river did not speak again.

I was overwhelmed for so many reasons. One was from living through the very stressful past few minutes, another was for finally letting go of my escape I’d been so in love with before, and another was from pure relief that I came out on top of that fight. I wasn’t sure I was going to. It all just welled up in me and spilled over in tears. I was so disgusted by how much I’d been crying lately, but I couldn’t help it. I just sat in the shallow water and let it out. 

After a while, I decided to get cleaned up so I could go get warm. I was freakin’ freezing, and the albeit quick bath I took in the river offered no help. I wasn’t even sure where my clothes were, but once I stepped out of the water, I didn’t even get to start looking for them.

I lost time. A big chunk of it. 

A shock of pain and a blue flash later, I found myself crossing Grand Central Station, fully clothed, but cold and damp, as if I’d put my clothes on without drying off. I was pointed straight for Pac-Man’s.

I’d made the decision to quit GC. My addiction had other plans.

Dread welled up in me. I’d come out hunting for another hit, completely puppeted by my subconscious. I was just strolling right out as if on a daily errand. I tried turning back many times, only to lose time and regain consciousness much closer to the game. Again and again. I was so vulnerable, just right out in the open. Anyone could have stopped me, arrested me, or attacked me. But no one did. At the time, I was too concerned with the fact that my body was dragging me to my potential death against my will to notice. But now I can see just how haunting it is that I avoided any sort of attention. I was locked into a death march, and it seemed like the whole arcade was just standing aside, clearing a path for me.

I lost time like hiccups. I made it into the Pac-Man port. I rode the train. I stepped into the maze. It took me seconds to appear in what I’d later recognize as a far corner, staring down a Game-Changer. It floated there so simply, so unassumingly. So invitingly.

I hated myself so wholeheartedly in that moment. After everything I thought I’d just defeated, I was back at it. And I couldn’t stop myself. Once I saw it, I couldn’t even try to turn back. It was like a gamer had taken control of my sprite.

I strode forward and let it burst against my pixels.

Unlike the first time I took GC, this time didn’t hurt. At all. I felt it breathe into me, and just like that, I felt lighter. So light, I wasn’t too familiar with gravity anymore. My head swam, and I stumbled forward against the wall and slid to the floor. I took weak, shallow breaths, and I knew I should have been afraid. Maybe part of me was. 

But once I couldn’t turn back anymore, most of me was just relieved to be getting away one last time. It wasn’t long before that lightness floated me away. 

My eyelids grew heavy. I didn’t try to fight it at all. I just let my eyes fall shut and my neck go limp, which, honestly, felt so good to do. It was as if I’d just really fallen asleep for the first time in over a month. Which, as far as I could perceive, I did.

I woke up to a growing sting in my eyes, like mornings where you’d open the blackout shutters to let the blinding sunlight scorch me awake. There were no shutters, this time. But, as it turned out, it was the same sunlight.

I cracked my eyes open against the brightness, and when I did… I saw your game. Completely intact. I was looking at the trees at the edge of your little trailer park, and they were dry as ever. There was just as much junk and litter strewn about in the dirt as I remembered. Even the Twins’ trailers were right where they ought to have been, a stone’s throw down to the left of me. Which had to mean yours was sitting right behind me.

I’m not sure how to describe how I felt right there. I was confused, for sure, but I was also confused as to why I was confused. I felt sort of like… when you walk into a room, and you forget why you came into it at all, but you know it was for a reason.

I pushed to my feet and found them wobbly. I turned to look at your trailer door, and I paused. Something about it sort of made my stomach ache. I wanted to go in, I’d even say I felt compelled to. But I also really didn’t want to see you. For reasons I couldn’t remember, I was pissed. I was drunk. And I was also… scared. Somehow.

Then, a whisper of awareness came into my head before disappearing again, as quickly as it came. I’d done this before. This was no ordinary buff trip. It was a memory.

Up until that point, I’d thought I didn’t remember the last time we’d spoken before the incident.

Apparently, I did.

[parisian-nicole]

Of Convience (Kirk/Uhura Fic)

Summary:  An away mission brings back more than they bargained for, and it will change two crewmember's lives forever. 

**

"What's all this about, Doctor?" Kirk asked as he hurried through the sickbay doors to find Uhura seated on one of the beds behind a force field while Dr. McCoy was engrossed in some readings, he had on his medical scanning pad. The Captain had been alarmed once they had arrived back from an away mission to find the transporter room blaring its alarms and he and the other away team locked onto their transporter pad by a force field. Then his concern grew when he watched as Lieutenant Uhura energized away again. Seconds later Doctor McCoy had summoned him to sickbay.

"Standard protocol, Captain," McCoy mumbled out while his brows furrowed as he continued to read.

"I think this must be a new protocol I was not aware of," Uhura spoke out. She had been in her isolation in sickbay for only a few minutes but she felt like it had been hours, particularly due to the fact that Dr. McCoy kept brushing off and mostly ignoring her questions about what was happening and why she had been beamed to the sickbay behind a force field.

"Nor I, Lieutenant," Kirk agreed. "Care to enlighten us, Bones?"

"It is standard protocol for the transporter to beam anyone deemed to be infectious directly to sickbay and put up a force field," McCoy finally spoke as he now gave both of his friends his full attention. Concern quickly filled the faces of both Kirk and Uhura.

"Infectious," Uhura repeated as if she was not sure she had heard him correctly. "But Doctor, I was given a clean bill of health by you before I beamed down to the planet."

"Yeah, I know but the transporter says you brought something back on board with you. Initially, I thought the blasted transporter probably had a glitch. Which is one of the main reasons I don't like using the blasted things."

"Yes, we are all aware, Doctor," Kirk cut off what he knew could turn into an hours-long ranting. "What has the Lieutenant been infected with, and what of the other crew? Myself, Scotty, and Sulu? Should we also be quarantined?"

"No," McCoy said as he moved to the medical panel on the wall and pressed a button which turned off the force field. "It's not a contagion and you're not infected, Uhura."

"Well, that's a relief," Uhura breathed out truly happy to hear this.

"So, there is a glitch in the transporter then? I'll have Scotty take it offline for a full analysis and repairs," Kirk declared as he moved to the intercom on the nearby wall.

"That won't be necessary, there's nothing wrong with the transporters either, at least not in this regard," McCoy stopped him and Kirk turned back to regard his longtime friend.

"Then what the hell is it, Bones?" He exclaimed a little as he grew irritated with the doctor's evasiveness.

"Lieutenant Uhura, you're pregnant," McCoy directed to Uhura who sat and looked as if she were still waiting for his true words.

"Well how about that," Kirk said with a genuine smile on his face. He was not aware she had been seeing anyone, not that he kept up with such things. But the ship wasn't so big that he wouldn't have heard something or seen something to allude to Uhura being in a romance. She was a very private person but still, people tended to gossip onboard which on most days annoyed the hell out of it's Captain. "Congratulations, Lieutenant," He said as he stepped to where she sat in shock, leaned in, and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek.

"But, Sir," She turned to look up at him. "That can't possibly be right," She insisted.

"She's right, it can't be. At least it shouldn't be," McCoy concurred. "I gave each of the away team a full examination before you all left the ship not two hours ago, and Uhura wasn't pregnant before she left this ship."

"Could your readings have been wrong?" Kirk offered. "Is it possible that it's your equipment that has a glitch?"

"Even if it does it wouldn't explain any of this. Doctor, I can't possibly be pregnant, because I have not been with a man for over three years now," She declared and both Kirk and McCoy's eyes bulged a little in their surprise and disbelief.

"I'm sorry Lieutenant, but I find that very hard to believe," Kirk stated.

"Me too," McCoy chimed in with a slight scowl on his face.

"Well, I am certainly not lying about it, why should I?" Uhura stated indignantly.

"I'm sorry Uhura, I only meant that," He paused as he searched for the appropriate words, "Well, you are a very beautiful and very desirable woman," Kirk said and she felt herself calming and even blushing under his complimentary words.

"Yeah, yer, definitely a looker," McCoy added with a nod and smile as he placed his hands behind his back and bounced a bit on the balls of his feet.

"So, it's a bit difficult to believe that no crewman has asked you out," Kirk continued.

"Plenty have asked, sir, and on some occasions, I agree, but that doesn't mean I have to sleep with them does it?" She countered.

"No, of course not, my apologies, Uhura," Kirk replied in a gentler tone and informally. "And are you sure?" He added on.

"Sure? That I didn't have sex with anyone, yes quite sure," Suddenly a beeping went off on McCoy's medical pad. He frowned up in confusion and then hurried back to the medical panel and raised the force field again.

"What is it now?" Kirk questioned his actions.

"This baby is growing at an impossible rate," McCoy said and Uhura clutched a hand against her still flat mid-section as Kirk eyed her curiously. "When I examined you just a moment ago you were only 2 weeks into gestation, now you're 6 weeks along."

"But that's not possible," Kirk proclaimed.

"Yeah, that's what I just said," McCoy replied.

"None of this is possible," Uhura spoke out her voice a pitch higher than normal. "I do know where babies come from, Doctor, and there's no way in hell I knowingly conceived a baby."

"Well, maybe it was unknowingly," McCoy offered and her eyes doubled in size at the implication.

"You think she may have been raped?" Kirk asked as he felt rage begin to fill him. Not only to the fact that someone would commit such a crime on his ship but mostly that they would dare cause such harm to Uhura. He thought of her with friendly and nearly brotherly affection. She was the only female crewman on the entire ship he had ever spoken to and socialized within any informal manner. The thought of someone hurting her, particularly in such a vile way made him want vengeance.

"I'm sorry, but that's the only explanation I can come up with at the moment," McCoy said. "There are some species we've encountered and even some who are crew aboard this ship who have a faster gestation time than us.

"I want a list of all of them," Kirk demanded. "Would you be able to determine who might be the father?" He asked McCoy as Uhura sat behind the force field terrified by the thought that she might have been violated and didn't remember it.

"Yes," McCoy answered as he grasped a handheld scanner and began to input some parameters into it. "I can use this scanner," He then pointed it at Uhura before he punched in more data. "I have blocked the reading from Uhura's DNA in the baby so that just leaves the father's DNA. I just point this at …" The Doctor's words faltered as he stared down at the readings that were now flashing on the scanner. "My God, Jim, it's saying that you're the father," He breathed out low as he lifted shocked eyes up to Kirk, whom he was pointing the scanner directly at.

"Excuse me?" Kirk responded as he stared back at his friend with a look of amusement on his face, as if waiting for the punchline to his joke.

"Now, this is beyond ridiculous," Uhura spoke out as she hopped from the bed. "Let me out of this force field, Leonard," She demanded informally and he hurriedly complied. "You might think this is funny, but I think we all have better things to be doing than pulling pranks on others."

"I have to agree with the Lieutenant, this is not one of your better jokes, Bones."

"Do you two honestly think I would joke about something like this?" McCoy asked outraged by the accusation. "I can assure you, Lieutenant Uhura you are," He paused and held the scanner up to her. "Now 18 weeks pregnant," He then moved the scanner back to Kirk. "And Jim, you are definitely the father."

"Oh my God," Uhura exclaimed as she clutched at her mid-section again.

"What is it?" Kirk asked as his eyes locked onto her belly which he'd swear was more profound than it had been just a few seconds before.

"It's grown. I can feel it now," She replied as she shot her hand out, grasped the Captain's hand, and then placed it back against the slight swell of her belly. Kirk stood in awe to the fact that Uhura was in fact pregnant and that he was going to be a father. He shook it off as he pulled his hand from her belly and focused fully onto McCoy.

"Bones, what the hell is going on?"

"I honestly don't know. I mean, what exactly did you two do while you were down on the planet?"

"Nothing that would have done that," Kirk said as he pointed at Uhura's belly.

"He's right Doctor," Uhura affirmed. "While the Captain and I were mostly alone together on the mission all we did was take readings of the planet. The air, the water in the stream we found, and of all the beautiful flora that seemed to be everywhere. The captain even plucked this flower for me," She spoke this as she reached up and touched the small purple flower she had placed in her hair.

"No, don't touch it," McCoy hissed out as he moved and grasped tweezers from his desk and moved back to her to grasp the flower from her hair.

"I already scanned it, doctor, it's perfectly harmless otherwise, I wouldn't have put it in my hair," She assured.

"Well, unless you confess to having some private torrent affair with each other, and tell me one of you has the ability to make super grow babies, I'm not ruling anything out," He stated as he placed the flower inside of a chamber that would give a more intensive reading on it. "And unfortunately, until I know more, I will have to confine you both as well as the other away team members to sickbay."

"Is that really necessary?" Kirk asked not happy at the idea of being away from the bridge but happy that Spock had not joined them on this particular away mission.

"At this point, I don't know how this even happened, do you want to risk you or Scotty, or Sulu impregnating other female crew?"

"No, of course not," Kirk grumbled out in a defeated tone as he moved to the comm, "Scotty and Sulu report to sickbay immediately."

"What do we do?" Uhura questioned as she stood with her arms wrapped around herself in a comforting manner. She seemed as if she hadn't been really saying the words to anyone specifically, and she looked very lost at that moment.

"Don't worry Lieutenant," Kirk spoke in an authoritative tone, his 'Captain's voice', though inside he was just as lost and scared as she was. "I have the utmost confidence that the good Doctor here will figure this out and undo it somehow."

"Undo it?" McCoy repeated a little stunned by the words. "Well, I guess if that is something Uhura wants I can 'undo' it now before she gets too far along," He scanned her once more. "It looks like 18 weeks might be the magical number, it hasn't grown anymore in the last few minutes, and all of the levels read normal"

"So, from this point on it will be a normal gestation?" Kirk questioned.

"Maybe, I honestly don't know," McCoy replied. "Do you want to keep it, Nyota?" He posed directly to her using her first name and all eyes in the room locked onto her.

"I could not abort this child, Doctor. Not unless you tell me there is some medical reason I should," She announced as she again placed her hands against her belly. Dr. McCoy smiled at her proudly and then moved back to check on his experiment. "It doesn't matter how it was conceived it's a life and it's mine," She added on with conviction. "I'm sorry Captain if that puts you in an unwanted predicament."

"Not at all, Lieutenant, it is in your body and so completely your decision. And I would never presume to have any say in that matter. But I hope you understand the ramifications of what having the child would mean. There are no children allowed on any Starfleet exploration vessels. So, it would likely mean reassignment back on Earth or to some other federation outpost or base," He mumbled out as he locked his eyes down to the floor while apparently deep in thought about it. Uhura simply nodded to his true words as she was fully aware of these facts. "But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, all right?" He ended with a kind smile.

"Yes, sir," She said around a sad smile as she nodded.

"Well, it's definitely the flower," McCoy who had focused back on his examination of the flower spoke out. "Likely, some kind of effects through pollination. I touched the flower to this Treyvilian mouse that wasn't pregnant before my test, but now it is," At that moment both Scotty and Sulu entered the sickbay.

"Reporting to sickbay as ordered, sir," Sulu spoke first.

"Aye, and I hope this is something serious because if I don't fix the misalignments that happened to the transporter after we beamed back aboard, we'll not be able to beam back down to finish the survey of the planet on schedule," Scotty added on looking irritated at being summoned.

"I'm sorry Scotty but this is rather an urgent matter, and until further notice, no one will be beaming back down to the planet," Kirk said. "Now, did either of you touch or take any flowers or plants from the planet? Please think hard, it's extremely important."

"No sir, there was no fauna of any kind on the part of the planet we checked," Sulu stated as he frowned up a bit in confusion.

"Aye, it was all desert and rocks. Why what's happened?"

"Well, it seems that I have somehow impregnated Lieutenant Uhura with a flower from the planet," Kirk replied and both men stood silent a moment stunned as they let his words sink in.

"Aw, congratulations sir," Scotty was the first to speak out jubilantly despite the situation and moved to heartily shake the Captain's hand. "Lass," He then moved and pulled Uhura into a quick hug. Sulu for his part only smiled nervously and nodded as he was not sure this was a celebratory moment, though both the Captain and Uhura smiled kindly at Scotty's elation and well wishes.

"Thank you, Mr. Scott, but let's hold the celebrations until after the Doctor has given you two a full examination and can assure me that you have not somehow impregnated anyone."

"Well, sir, unless that wee flower has the power to impregnate men it's just not possible. Sulu and I have been in the transporter room with Ensign Hathaway this entire time. Hathaway and I were working on the transporter, while Sulu was uploading into the computer terminal the findings we had on our tricorders."

"That's right Captain. Mr. Spock was adamant that we do so as soon as we transported on board. We came straight here when you called us, and passed no females on our way," Sulu affirmed.

"That's good news," McCoy spoke of again. "Still, I want each of you to take a sterilization shower before you leave sickbay. I am pretty certain that this was all due to this flower," He said and they all looked to the purple flower encased inside the secure containment glass. "Jim, you touched it and got your DNA on it, then gave it to Uhura which got her DNA on it. Then, somehow the pollen from the flower got into your system, Uhura, likely through your pores and caused this miraculous conception," He picked up the scanner again and pointed it at her. "Still at 18 weeks with normal readings one would expect to see in a normal and healthy gestation," He nodded and then pointed the scanner at Scotty, Sulu, and then finally Kirk, "And, Jim, you're definitely the father," He added on though no one questioned or doubted him.

**************************************************

It had been nearly 4 hours since Dr. McCoy had released them from sickbay, assuring them that they were all no risk to the ship and its crew. Uhura had hurried to her quarters as she prayed none of her fellow crew noticed the obvious swell that was on display in the form-fitting uniform she wore. Until this moment she had never thought about how absurd it was to require the female crew to wear such tight and short outfits. She noted in her mind to file a formal grievance with Starfleet on the matter at a later time. Right now, her mind was still reeling over the fact that she was pregnant and with the child of Captain James Tiberius Kirk, the soon-to-be father who didn't seem to care one way or the other about her condition and why should he be. She was the one who had decided to keep this child whether he wanted it or not, so she felt she had no right to ask him to give her any form of support.

"I guess it's just you and me baby," She spoke lowly on her bed as she cradled her bump that pressed proudly through the satin green nightgown she wore. The Captain had told her she could take some time off to adjust and make any necessary arrangements she may need to her new situation. She took that as his way to give her time to come up with some story to tell about how she got pregnant and by whom. She giggled as she thought about that because she was sure that the entire crew knew by now as Sulu could be quite the gossip when he had some 'juicy' intel, and this incident was probably the most salacious thing to ever happen on their voyage thus far. Just as she had decided to try to lie down to get some sleep her door chimed and pulled her from her bed. "Come," She called out to her visitor and then stood up a bit straighter when her visitor finally walked in. "Captain."

"Lieutenant," Kirk replied as his eyes took her in from head to toe before he quickly averted his eyes to glance about her beautifully decorated quarters. They stood in silence for a moment before she spoke again.

"Is there something you needed, sir?"

"Ah, yes, I … uh … I just wanted to see how you were holding up. Today has been a very strange and shock filled day for us."

"Yes, sir," She said and graced him with a kind smile and a small chuckle. "It surely has been, but I am fine, thank you for your concern,"

"Good, good," He said with a nod as he settled his eyes upon her bump. "And the baby is…" He paused again and she could tell he was nervous.

"Oh, she is fine too, Captain."

"She?" He repeated through a crooked smile as he looked at her with excitement twinkling in his eyes.

"Yes, sir, I'm having a daughter," She confirmed. "I asked Dr. McCoy to check before I left sickbay. I know most expectant mothers would rather wait and be surprised, but I'd rather be-"

"Prepared," Kirk cut her off and finished the sentence for her. "Yes, I had noticed that about you long ago. And please we're not on the bridge, in fact, I'm off duty at the moment, so we don't have to be so formal. Please, call me Jim and I will call you by your first name too, Nyota," He spoke with a gentle smile. "If that is all right with you?"

"Oh, yes, sir … I mean Jim," She quickly corrected as she smiled warmly back at him. "Please come, have a seat," She offered as she waved him to the sofa in her livingroom area. "Can I get you something to drink? I don't have any alcoholic beverages as I am not much of a drinker, but I had just made tea which should still be hot."

"Tea sounds wonderful, thank you," He agreed as he took a seat on the sofa. He openly watched her as she moved about fixing two cups of tea. Her every movement seemed to hold him enthralled, and most intensely the slight swell on her belly. It hadn't dawned on him until he noticed her about to lift a serving tray with their tea, that he hadn't even offered to help. "No!" He called out a bit more loudly than he had intended as he leaped up and moved to where she stood. Uhura jumped a little in surprise as she stilled and looked at him with wide eyes. "That looks heavy, allow me," He spoke as he grasped the tray which wasn't heavy at all but she still appreciated his gesture.

"Thank you," She said softly as she led them back to the sofa where they sat and she began serving up the tea.

"By the way … oh, thank you," He said with a nod and a smile as he grasped the teacup, she offered him. He then took a quick sip before he continued, "I have already contacted Starfleet and gave a full report of everything. They will be sending a special all-male crew back to the planet to finish the survey, with added precautions. Hopefully, it will be enough to ensure that this situation with us is not repeated," Uhura nodded as she listened. "And I was also able to convince them to allow both of us to stay at our post here on the Enterprise. It took some convincing and they have sent liability forms with specific stipulations that they expect both of us to sign ASAP, which basically says we and the child can stay but at our own risk, not theirs."

"Cap … Jim, I appreciate that more than I can say, but you didn't have to go through any trouble for me. I would have been content to go wherever Starfleet deemed safest for me and my child."

"I am sorry if I have overstepped some boundary, Nyota, I know I should have probably consulted with you first. But if I am being honest I did it more for me than you," He acknowledged and his words completely baffled her as she frowned at him in confusion. "I can't imagine myself being anywhere except here on the Enterprise. They did offer to make me an Admiral stationed out of Starfleet headquarters. I'd be the youngest in Starfleet history, but I wasn't even tempted by that."

"I don't understand, why would they make you leave the Enterprise?" She asked and this time Kirk's brow furrowed as he stared back at her in confusion.

"Because had they not agreed to allow the baby to stay on board, we would have had to be stationed elsewhere, Nyota, you know this."

"Yes, I know the regulations and fully expected that the child and 'I' would be reassigned."

"I see," Kirk spoke as his face fell a little. He settled his cup back upon the tray, stood, and pulled at the bottom of his shirt. Uhura watched him closely as she too set down her cup of tea and stood before him. His demeanor perplexed her. "It seems I have overstepped again in assuming that you wanted me to be a part of the child's life."

"I'm sorry, but you want to be a part of the child's life?" She asked completely shocked at hearing this from him. The thought of Kirk wanting to have anything to do with a child never even entered her mind. He was too much of a bachelor in her eyes.

"Of course, it is my child … my daughter too," He replied and seemed to be offended that she would think otherwise. "And I would very much like to be present in her life."

"Oh my God," Uhura gasped out as tears instantly filled her eyes. She clamped one hand to cover her mouth and the other to her belly and Kirk's face paled in fright as he watched her.

"What's the matter, are you in some kind of pain? Is it the baby?" He asked as he reached out to her. "Do I need to take you to sickbay?" She shook her head at him as a single tear fell freely down her cheek, which she quickly wiped away.

"No, I'm fine and the baby is fine, it's just …" She wasn't sure how to continue without offending him when it was now so clear to her that he wanted this baby just as much as she did. "I'm sorry Jim, but your words surprised me. But they were a very pleasant surprise. I just never even considered that you would want to have anything to do with the baby. I mean, it's not like this was something we planned. We are not in a romantic relationship, and we don't spend a lot of time speaking or seeing each other informally outside of the bridge or while on duty."

"True, but I still consider you to be a friend, Nyota, and I hope that feeling is mutual."

"Oh, yes sir, it is," She confirmed being formal for a moment.

"Good," He pushed out a sigh of relief, "Look, I know I have a bit of a reputation of being a bit of a Casanova, and I will admit I never thought that settling down with a wife and children were in my future. I already see myself as being married to the Enterprise and the crew like my children, so to speak. Now, due to circumstances out of my control, it seems there will be a change of plans on that front. But thankfully Starfleet has decided to make an exception which will allow me to retain my command. So, I can still be Captain as well as a husband and father."

"Wait, are you proposing marriage?" Uhura asked as she stood looking up at him horrorstricken.

"Well, I think that would be appropriate, don't you?"

"Yes, under normal circumstances. It is true I had always envisioned I would find love, get married, and then have children. But as you said our current circumstance is out of our control. And we are not required to get married to have this child."

"Actually, we are," Kirk announced as he clasped his hands behind his back and locked his eyes down to the floor. "It is that stipulation I mention for remaining onboard. We must be married. Also, I think it would help to keep gossip down and keep the baby from being judged unfairly."

"But Captain," She spoke formally again. "I promise you Sulu has told half the ship by now."

"Doubtful," He interjected. "I've ordered him to secrecy."

"Not that it matters I do not care what the others have to say about it. And you know as well as I do that an ancient word like 'bastard' is such a ridiculous term it's laughable, and no one would dare speak it let alone think it about our child."

"Yes, I know but, I don't know, call it my male ego and pride," He tossed out with a charming smile, "But I want my child to have my name."

"And she certainly can and shall if that is what you really want."

"It is," He proclaimed and she smiled pleased by this.

"All right, but we don't have to get married for that."

"No, but as I said we must get married if we are to stay aboard the Enterprise. I thought you would be happy about that, that you would want to remain on board."

"I do and I am happy to know I have that option, but Jim," She took a breath and then reached out and placed a gentle hand upon his arm. "I cannot ask you to make such a sacrifice, not for me."

"I appreciate that but I assure you I was thinking mostly of myself. Thinking of how I can stay and keep you and our child here near me as well. Sure, I could visit wherever they may have sent you, but those visits would likely be few and far between. How much would I miss out on in her life? I don't want to miss a thing. I am truly sorry for not discussing these matters with you on this beforehand. I feel like a huge jerk right now assuming I was making a gallant gestured and you'd be happy about it."

"And that I'd even be a bit proud I'd be married to the Captain, huh?" She added on in an almost teasing tone which made him roll his eyes a bit and groan at how silly this thought he had, had sounded when she spoke it out loud.

"Right, like a jerk and a dumbass," He spoke and she laughed a little at his expense.

"Don't get me wrong, I'd be honored to be your wife, sir, except for one big problem, we don't love each other. We barely even know each other."

"I can see that really matters to you?"

"Of course, it does, doesn't that matter to you too?" She questioned. "Don't you want to marry someone you love? And what about what we would be giving up in our marriage? You are a very virile man from what I've seen and I too still have a sexual appetite, and I never intended to become a nun or be celibate for the rest of my life."

"Wow, and you think being married to me would completely kill your sexual drive?" Kirk asked with a smirk as he placed his hand against his chest. "Ouch," She giggled at his antics and playfully swatted his arm.

"What I mean is, I am a monogamous woman," Uhura looked directly up into his eyes as she spoke. She wanted him to fully comprehend what she was telling him. "If I marry you, I could never give myself sexually to another man. That would go against everything I believe spiritually, and go against my vow of marriage to you. I wouldn't hold you to those same standards by any means given our situation, but I could never break such a vow. So, can you see my conundrum? I'd be married to someone who doesn't want me sexually, and I would never allow myself to take a man who is not my husband into my bed."

"I understand, but who told you I didn't want you sexually?" Kirk questioned seriously and of all the things he could have said at that moment, what he could have taken away from what she had just said, that bit had stunned her. "As I told you earlier, I think you are a very beautiful and desirable woman, Nyota. Surely, you know this. Being Captain doesn't make me any less a warm-blooded male nor does it diminish my eyesight. I can see how attractive you are. Just because I would never allow myself to pursue anything intimate with one of my crewmembers doesn't mean I am not sexually attracted to any, you being at the top of that list."

"Am I supposed to be flattered by that, sir?"

"No, it was not some pickup line, I was just stating a fact. My point is, once we are married, I would have no issue with consummating our marriage or performing my husbandly duties, if you will," He spoke around a slight smile. "That is, if you had no objections, of course."

"No, I would not object but…" She turned away from him as she thought about her next words.

"But what? Please tell me what's on your mind and speak freely," He coaxed and she faced him once more as she continued to speak.

"It would kind of feel like sleeping with a stranger, a one-night stand, or some fling. I've never been that kind of a girl."

"Okay, I think I understand," Kirk said this as he nodded his head while he looked to be giving it some thought. "You would feel more comfortable with all of this if we knew each other better first if I courted you?"

"Now, you're making fun of me," She smacked her lips, rolled her eyes at him, and then moved back to the sofa and sat down. Kirk followed her trek and also seated himself back down.

"No, not at all. I mean, that is essentially what you are having the biggest issue with, is it not?" She only nodded her affirmation. "All right, then. They say there's no time like the present. So, let's get to know each other a little better now. What's your favorite color?" He asked as he leaned back more comfortably into the sofa. Uhura, let out a slightly giddy giggle as she tucked her feet beneath her backside and turned more to face him.

"Green," She finally disclosed. "What's yours?"

"Red, why green?" He fired off quickly.

"Because I grew up in such a lush green countryside, and there's none of that out here in the vastness of space."

"So, you brought a little of your own," Kirk said with a smile as he reached out and gently flicked the green hoops that had become synonymous with the uniforms she wore on and off the bridge. She nodded and smiled in reply.

"May I ask you something more of a personal nature?" He spoke.

"Yes."

"Why have you purposely abstained from sex for the past three years?"

"Because I feel this is an important mission. To boldly go where no one has gone before, remember? And I wanted to stay focused on the job. This is a pretty big ship, but surely even you have seen how small it can become when someone's romantic entanglements don't end well. I have just chosen to avoid all of that 'drama' and focus solely on the mission."

"But surely that must become lonely and … sexually frustrating for you," Kirk continued.

"Not really, I have become quite an expert at masturbation," She declared and Kirk's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets at hearing her shocking carefree confession. "Now, may I ask you a personal question."

"It would only be fair," He said with a nod.

"How can you be so …" Again, she found herself searching for the right word that would not offend.

"Promiscuous?" He filled in and let her off the hook.

"I'm sorry," Uhura spoke as she scrunched up her face a bit, "But you do have a bit of a notorious reputation."

"Yes, I am aware but I can promise you that that reputation doesn't really precede me," He stated and she sent him a look that said she didn't believe him. "Scout's honor," He said as he held up three fingers in their salute. "Now, I can't proclaim to never have enjoyed the company of a woman in my bed during our journey thus far, but far less than you probably think. In fact, I can count on one hand just how many."

"Without reusing the fingers as you are counting?" She teased while she smiled and he chuckled finding her wit and humor, even at his own expense, to be quite pleasant. Then she yawned wide as she covered her mouth with the back of her hand. "I'm sorry, please know that was not caused by your company. I am just tired. Dr. McCoy told me to expect a sudden onslaught of hormonal changes that come with a usual pregnancy. But instead of having 18 actual weeks for my body to adjust I get one day," She finished with a small smile which Kirk returned. He reached over to her but instantly stalled in his action as if remembering himself. He looked into her eyes for her approval, she understood and simply nodded. He placed his hand securely over her belly and smiled warmly at it.

"You should rest, and I should leave and stop bothering you," He spoke out as he released her and stood from the sofa.

"You have been no bother, Jim, I have enjoyed our chat," She replied as she too stood and watched him walk to the exit. He stalled and turned back to regard her.

"Thank you, Nyota. I know that this situation is not ideal for you, but I truly appreciate your decision to keep our child," He said this with a sweet smile as he honed his eyes onto her belly once more before holding her gaze again. "And also, for your consideration of my proposition of a marriage of convenience."

"Thank you, Jim, for being so receptive to this child and for providing me an option that would allow me to keep my position here on the Enterprise. I do so love being on this ship."

"And we would be truly lost without you," Kirk then moved to leave.

"Captain, wait," She fell back to the formalities. "Maybe I should stick my head out there first to make sure the coast is clear before you leave, it is rather late and someone may see you leaving my quarters, and ..."

"That won't be necessary Lieutenant. People will soon notice that you are with child anyway and I have no intention of hiding the fact that I'm the father. So, let whoever wants to gossip, gossip, we have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of or hide from. Goodnight, Nyota," He spoke softly as he bowed a bit.

"Goodnight, Jim," She also said with a nod, then he was gone, and she was left to think about what he had proposed. A marriage with all the sexual strings attached. She'd have to give it serious thought. She certainly couldn't and wouldn't deny that she found Kirk handsome, charming, and so very sexy. But she did have to recognize that she was not the only female who would, and she didn't think she would be able to share a 'marital' bed with him knowing he'd likely also venture into another woman's bed. When another deep yawn escaped her lips, she decided she'd return to those contemplations in the morning.

********************************

Although she had been given time off if she wanted it Uhura found herself getting up the next morning preparing for her shift on the bridge the same as she always did. She had already put in a request the day before to have new uniforms tailored for her growing belly, and she was pleased with the results as she stood appraising herself in the mirror. Her belly was well hidden but it was still somewhat obvious that she expanded some in the waist. She had proclaimed she did not care what anyone else would say or think about her pregnancy, but she was actually a bit nervous about it. She had always been the 'rip the bandage off' type and so after another quick glance in the mirror, a deep breath to calm herself, she left her quarters and made her way to the bridge.

When she had stepped onto the bridge, she paused a moment and waited for the looks and whispers to start, but was greeted to every other crew member engrossed in performing their duties. She did get the usual quick smile and nod of greeting from certain crew, same as she did whenever she came on duty, but nothing more. She chuckled to herself over her seemingly unfounded concerns. She knew that once her friends had learned of her condition, they would all be happy for her. She moved to her station.

"Good morning, Jamison," She greeted the older male communications officer who had the shift before hers.

"Uhura," Jamison greeted, and at hearing her name Captain Kirk, who had been listening to a report that Yeoman Rand had been reciting to him, turned in his seat a bit and focused on his beautiful Bantu communications officer. He dismissed Rand saying he would finish reading the report later, he then stood and made his way to Uhura who had already taken the seat from Jamison.

"Lieutenant," Kirk Spoke out as he now stood at her station.

"Yes, Captain?" She greeted him at full attention as she awaited whatever command he had for her.

"I thought I gave you a few days off to rest," He spoke softly so their conversation would remain more private.

"Yes, sir, but I thought that was just an option I could choose if I felt I needed it, but I woke up this morning and I felt fine. Unless, it was a command if so, I apologize Captain I misunderstood."

"No, it's all right, Lieutenant," He tried to assure her with a kind smile which she quickly returned when she realized he was not displeased with her being on the bridge. "If you feel up to doing your duties please do so."

"Thank you, sir," She gave a curt nod and a smile and then focused back on working through a translations file Jamison had left for her.

"But if at any time you don't feel well, I want you to take the rest of the day off, and that is an order," Kirk quickly added. Uhura smiled warmly at him as she could see his concern for her and their baby written all over his face.

"Aye, aye, Captain, but I think I will be fine. There are no Starfleet rules that say a pregnant officer can't continue to perform her duties until she gives birth."

"That is true, but those rules do not apply on a starship because it is unprecedented, until now. You are the first pregnant woman to serve upon a starship," He countered her with a teasing smile, which instantly fell from his face when he heard a slight gasped and noticed that Yeoman Rand, who had been about to leave the bridge had stopped and now stared at Uhura with a stunned look on her face. It was obvious to him that she had overheard some of their conversations particularly the bit about Uhura's pregnancy. "Was there something else you needed Yeoman?" He spoke in a stern tone as he stood upright more. Uhura didn't turn but pretended to be working as if nothing had happened.

"Uh…oh no sir," Yeoman Janice Rand quickly spoke with her large blue eyes locked upon her Captain as she shook her head slightly.

"Then as you were," He commanded and she jumped a little and then hurried onto the lift. "I think the cat is out of the bag now," He whispered as he leaned down a bit towards Uhura.

"Well, it was bound to happen eventually," She whispered back to him. "In a couple of weeks, I will not be able to dress up and hide this growing belly," He graced her with an endearing smile which morphed into what she would describe as pride when his eyes settled on her belly.

"Lieutenant," He righted himself and spoke a little louder as he put on a show of getting back to business, "Have we gotten a reply from Starfleet about the shore leave request? We will be passing by Risa in another 48 hours and I think we all could use the time off."

"Yes, Captain," She replied as she pressed the console buttons with one hand as she held the comm in her ear with the other hand. "Starfleet has approved seven full days of shore leave, sir."

"Excellent," Kirk said visibly pleased as he clasped his hand together and rubbed them a bit as if in anticipation of what was to come. Something inside of Uhura clinched as she thought of the reason the Captain was so excited. The planet Risa was a pleasure planet and one that was of all the rage throughout the entire Federation. She frowned a little as she thought about the jealous feelings swelling in her. She knew she was being silly and had absolutely no right to be jealous or even care about how the Captain spent his downtime, and who with. 'But he proposed marriage to you just last night' a tiny voice screamed at her. She shook it off and reminded herself it would only be a marriage of convenience for their careers and child only, and nothing more. He spoke out once more and interrupted her internal debating, "Please send out a ship-wide notification of the shore leave along with a roster put through the randomizer, showing who will beam down and when. I want to ensure that every crew member gets a day to beam down and enjoy Risa."

"Aye, Captain," She then turned and focused back on her task as she pushed back all of her fleeting jealous thoughts.

********************************

A few days later

********************************

They had already been at the planet Risa for three of their approved seven days. Uhura had been on the schedule to beam down on day one, but she found that she had no desire to visit the planet. The Captain had asked her about it when she had reported to duty that morning. And she was able to excuse it away due to her pregnancy and being more tired lately. It had been a lie but also a gift as that very night and the night after Jim had come to her quarters after his shift. He had brought dinner and they spent hours talking about their childhood and anything else that came to mind while they ate and later played some card games. Just that night before they had settled on the sofa together stretched out on opposite ends. Uhura had a book she had been reading as Kirk read over some reports, he had suddenly remembered he had to sign off on before morning. It had been such a surreal moment to her as she glanced up from her book at the feel of him tugging on one of her perfectly pedicured toes. He had been completely unaware to his action as his brow furrowed in his concentration on the report he was reading. The evening had been so nice and it seemed like a night they had been sharing for years. It felt right somehow. But tonight, she expected she would not have Jim's company for she knew that he was on the schedule to beam down to Risa. She had been shocked when she had gone to the bridge and he was there and stayed for her entire shift. He had briefly shared in some light banter with her but mostly both tended to their duties.

After her shift, Uhura had found she was restless and told herself it had nothing at all to do with wondering about what the Captain was doing down on Risa. She had decided she didn't want to spend the evening alone in her quarters with those thoughts, and instead, she ventured down to the crew lounge. Upon entering she noticed that nearly all of the chatter had instantly stopped and eyes were on her, which told her she had been the subject of whatever conversations had been going on. Apart of her wanted to turn around and leave but she was determined not to give anyone the satisfaction. Also, she had nothing to hide or be ashamed of. So, she lifted her head a little higher and made her way over to the food replicator and ordered some tea. Something small that would allow her to finish it quickly and then leave. The moment she settled into a table in the corner of the room Yeoman Janice Rand pulled up the seat across from her and Nurse Christine Chapel a seat beside her. They both silently watched her as they grinned like idiots. Uhura knew Rand had already blabbed about her pregnancy and that the two women were now dying to talk about it with her. Uhura couldn't help but giggle at the way they were looking at her. She rolled her eyes a little, smiled, and then leaned back so they could get a better view of her belly, giving a silent invitation for them to touch. Both ladies shot their hands out and felt the firm but still a small bump.

"Oh, my goodness," Janice squealed in a lowered voice.

"Congratulations, Nyota," Christine exclaimed also in a near whisper.

"I am sorry, Nyota, I wasn't trying to be a busy body, I just overheard the Captain and …"

"And you decided to tell Christine to get a second opinion?" Uhura cut her off as she arched her sculpted brow at her.

"Well … Uhm … Gosh, I'm sorry, but I just had to tell someone. I figured Christine's a nurse so she couldn't tell anyone else. You, know, patient privacy and all that," Janice began to explain her indiscretion.

"And that is not how it works at all," Christine chimed in as Uhura giggled in amusement.

"I am just teasing you, Janice," She let the blonde yeoman off the hook. "But you could have just come and discussed it with me. It's not some dirty little secret and I have nothing to hide."

"Surely not, if the Captain already knows," Christine spoke again. "Do you already know where you will be reassigned to?"

"Reassigned?" Janice interjected as she frowned up to the idea.

"Why yes, it is in Starfleet regulations that children cannot live on a starship during its mission," Christine enlightened her younger friend.

"Well, actually-" Uhura began to speak but was cut off by a suddenly unhappy Rand.

"Oh, that is stupid, and I bet it was some man who came up with that. Oh sure, they have their fun getting us in the family way and then they send us back to Earth or wherever while they get to galivant across the Universe," Janice huffed out as she crossed her arms against her chest to show her irritation at the idea.

"By the way," Christine focused back on to Uhura. "Who is the father? If you don't mind me asking."

"And I just bet he'll get to stay on board the Enterprise too," Janice tossed in as she rolled her eyes while still dying to know about the father.

"You are correct, Yeoman, but both the Lieutenant and her fiancée will remain on the Enterprise with their baby," Kirk's voice chimed in and all three ladies turned their surprised eyes onto him as he stood just to the side of their table. None of the women had noticed his approach.

"Fiancée?" Christine repeated excitedly as she leaned in and gave Uhura a hug. "My, my, you are just full of wonderful surprises today."

"I'll say, I didn't even realize you were seeing anyone, Nyota," Janice said as she also gave a hug to her dear friend.

"Well, one's personal affairs is their own business and not something for gossip, Yeoman," Kirk replied. "I think there's plenty for every crew member to do on this ship other than concerning themselves about what or 'who' someone else is doing. If not then I am sure I can find more work for them to do," He added in a warning tone.

"Yes sir, of course, sir," Janice replied looking like a chastised child.

"May I have everyone's attention? I would like to share some very happy news," Kirk spoke loudly and captured the full attention of everyone in the rec room. Uhura's eyes grew three times their normal size as she gazed up at the man who now stood beside her with his hand placed gently on top of her shoulder. "I had not planned to make this announcement yet but since some of you," He then glanced at Janice before focusing back onto the full room. "Have already found out I feel it's time. Hopefully, to deter any gossip before it begins or continues," He paused and sent a glare so everyone would get his warning that there was to be no gossiping about the matter thereafter. "Nyota and I," He then reached down and grasped her arm and easily pulled her to her feet, she was too stunned to do anything but comply. Her mind held a mantra of 'He's not about to do what I think he's about to do, is he?'. "We want to share some joyous news with you all. You have all become great friends and even like family these past three years into our mission. So, you deserve to know that Nyota and I are going to have a baby," He announced and every mouth in the room fell open in shock, "Well, she's going to have the baby … 'Our' baby girl. And we will be sending out our wedding invitations soon, and we hope all who are able to will join us down in the Botanical gardens when we say I do," Again there was a pause of shock and looks of disbelief from the crowd but then the room suddenly erupted in cheers of congratulations. Everyone rushed them and gave sturdy handshakes to the captain and hugs to Uhura. Kirk stood like a proud peacock as Uhura graciously smiled beside him. The small celebration continued for an hour before Kirk caught Uhura yawning and excused her and himself. They walked back to her quarters in complete silence, both were quiet due to the fact they were both too nervous to speak first.

When they had arrived at Uhura's door she entered and didn't bother inviting Kirk in, and he crossed the threshold behind her not bothering to ask for entrance. It had been a routine of theirs every day for nearly a week, it now seemed like normalcy for them both. Now that they were behind closed doors and alone Kirk spoke.

"I hope you are not angry with me."

"No, not at all," She replied and he could see the relief leave her and her rigid shoulder slumped a little. "I will admit I was surprised that you announced it like that. Particularly the part about us getting married as we had not yet decided."

"You have not yet decided," He corrected her with a crooked smile. "I had decided the second Admiral Harris mentioned it as a stipulation to us staying onboard. And you still have time to think on it. I know that you wanted us to get to know each other better first, and I think in the last week we have. I have divulged some pretty big secrets about myself to you, which I have shared with no one else. Blackmail worthy stuff too," He teased.

"Oh, I would never dream of telling anyone of the things you have told me or use it to blackmail you, Jim," Uhura reassured as concern filled her face that he would even think such a thing. He chuckled as he stepped closer to her and grasped one of her hands.

"I know you wouldn't do that, Nyota, it was a joke," He replied. "And that is one of the many things I have learned about you. You have such an innocence and kind-heartedness it makes you so naïve about some things."

"Well, English is not my native tongue, so sometimes jokes or when someone is not being serious with me can get lost in translation for me."

"That's right," Kirk said excitedly as he recalled. "Swahili is your native tongue is it not?"

"It is," Uhura replied with a smile and a nod, pleased he remembered.

"Mzuri kama wewe," He spoke as he raised her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles as she giggled. "I didn't just butcher that did I?"

"No, that was very good, Jim, but I think my language holds greater beauty than me."

"Well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, is it not? And I say you're more beautiful," He charmingly reiterated his claim and she blushed in kind. "In fact," He let go of her hand and took a step back. His face took on a more serious gaze as he raked his eyes shamelessly over her frame, which made her blush even more. "I think that you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

"Yeah, I bet you say that to all the girls to have your way with them," She waved him off with a coy smile even as her heart rate increased and warmth filled her belly from his claims.

"No, contrary to what you have heard or may have conjured up about me, I don't go around making such claims to women just to get them into my bed," He spoke in a snappy tone that told Uhura she had upset him. She stepped to him and placed both hands on his arms.

"I am sorry, Jim, I was trying to make a joke," She declared and he instantly perked up at hearing this. "It seems I am just as bad at telling jokes as I am at getting them," She laughed a little and he chuckled along with her.

"Well, please believe me when I tell you that I am not joking when I say I have never seen anything as beautiful as you are right now, Nyota. So filled with child, 'my' child," He moved his hand and placed it against her bump. He had stopped asking permission to touch it by the second day of learning she was pregnant with his child. And Uhura had stopped expecting it as he now did it so often. She was glad he had stopped asking for she knew she would grow tired and eventually irritated with such constant pestering. "To me, lately, the sight of you is much more intoxicating and," He leaned down closer to her until their noses just barely touched. "Very arousing."

"Oh?" She squeaked out a reply as she gulped down the lump that had just formed in her throat.

"Mmhm," He confirmed with a nod as his eyes darted between her eyes and her lush lips. "And I would very much like to kiss you right now," He spoke out in a hushed voice.

"Well," She spoke as she cleared her throat a little, "Lucky for you, I would very much like to be kissed right now," She said as she matched his volume and leaned towards his more. He smiled slightly before he swooped in and captured her lips with his.

Their kiss had been tentative at first. Neither knowing where they could touch the other, and both wondering if they should even be touching like this. Mostly they were scared of being pushed off and rejected. Uhura was the first to become overwhelmed by the sensations assaulting her. The taste of Kirk and the faint scent of his aftershave pulled a wanton moan from her, which was a trigger for Kirk. He quickly wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer, and deepened the kiss. After a few delicious moments, he abruptly pushed her away while he still kept a firm grip on her arms.

"Tell me to leave, Nyota," Kirk commanded in a near whisper as his eyes remained locked onto her moist swollen lips.

"But I don't want you to leave," She replied as she fisted his shirt in her hands as if to ensure he couldn't escape.

"If I stay, I don't think I will be able to stop myself from touching you and tasting you."

"But I don't want you to stop," Uhura declared as she yanked him closer, leaned up, and recaptured his mouth with her own. She then tugged his shirt up his torso. He moved from her long enough the quickly yanked the shirt up and over his head and tossed it aside. He then moved his hand and unzipped the back of her dress. She allowed him to pull the dress from her arms. It fell down her chest and settled around her tiny swollen belly until Kirk bent and gently pushed it over the bump."

"God, you are so fucking gorgeous," He proclaimed as he drank in her cinnamon-colored skin and blushed at his words. Then she gasped out in pleasant surprise when he kissed her belly, then kissed his way up to her breast, clavicle bone, and then her neck, before he found her lips again. He stopped again and stared intensely into her eye. "I'm falling in love with you, Nyota," Kirk said softly and almost coyly. "If we make love it will surely seal the deal for me, and I know that I won't be able to let you go. So, if you don't have those feelings for me yet then we probably shouldn't-" Uhura quickly kissed away the rest of his words and then parted to stare up at him once more.

"I've fallen for you too, Jim," She finally confessed what she was sure she had started to feel just a couple of days after their 'courtship' had begun. "And I want you too. So, please make love to me," She said with a sweet smile which made a broad smile spread across his lips as he stepped to kiss her again, but was interrupted by the pinging from the comm. "I'll ignore it," Uhura said as she leaned up for his kiss.

"Uhura, are you there?" Doctor McCoy's voice spoke out as his face appeared on the comm screen. Thankfully he couldn't see her until the call was accepted on her end. Kirk scowled at the screen irritated by the interrupt, he stalked to the comm and accepted as Uhura rushed to her bedroom to redress.

"Bones, this had better be good," Kirk huffed out not caring how his state of undress might appear to his friend.

"Jim, good you're there too, you were my next call. I need you and Uhura to get to the sickbay right now," McCoy commanded and Kirk could tell by the look on his face it was something serious.

"What's wrong, Doctor?"

"Jim," Uhura's panicked voice made him snapped his full attention onto her. "I think something is wrong with the baby," She said and fear filled her eyes as she held up a bloodied trembling hand.

********************************

A short time later in Sickbay

********************************

"It started about an hour ago," McCoy spoke out as he stood to one side of the bed where Uhura lay hooked to a monitor connected to her belly. Kirk stood silent on the other side of the bed where his right hand clutched Uhura's right hand, while his eyes stayed locked to the monitor that showed the baby's heartbeat. "At first, I wasn't too alarmed as a miscarriage in a species that has multiple babies at once, it is not uncommon to lose a baby, more often than not. And the Treyvilian mouse can typically have 40 to 50 babies each pregnancy. But it was miscarrying a baby every couple of minutes. I knew something unusual was happening. So, I thought I should get you here in case you started to miscarry as well,"

"Is there nothing you can do, Bones?" Kirk asked solemnly as he stood watching the bouncing line on the screen grow slower and slower. Uhura sat silently crying too scared to speak for fear only a scream would come out. It shook her to the core that this child she hadn't fully allowed herself to accept as real yet, was now being taken from her and causing her such grief she had never experienced before.

"No, I'm sorry," McCoy replied. "It appears that there is a chemical process that occurs in the pollination of this flower that is needed to complete the gestation. Maybe if I had more time, I might be able to isolate and replicate it, but…"

"Thank you, Doctor," Uhura's soft voice finally filled the space. She looked up at him with wet eyes and a small shaky smile. "We know you did all that you could. This was an anomalous conception and pregnancy from the start. It seems it was just not meant to be," She finished and as if her words of acceptance had been all that was needed, the heartbeat flatlined on the screen. They all remained silent for several moments listening to the continuous beep until McCoy finally moved and switched off the monitor.

"Uhura I need to do a little procedure. It's painless and it'll only take a few seconds. It's just to remove any remaining tissue that might cause an infection, all right?" She nodded her head and then turned it to the side and stared at a far wall. "Jim, please give us a moment and then you can take her back to her quarters to rest," He placed a comforting hand upon his friend's shoulder and pulled him from the stupor he had fallen into. Kirk nodded his understanding. He looked to Uhura who remained faced away from him. He squeezed her hand gently, let go, and then walked from the private room in the back of the Sickbay.

********************************

Sometime later

********************************

"I'm sorry," Came the whisper in the darkened room. There was still enough light from the several tiny moons of Risa to shine on the bed that housed the two entangled bodies.

"For what?" Came another whisper in reply.

"About the baby. Maybe I…" The words were silenced with a single finger placed to her lips.

"No, McCoy said there was nothing either of us did to cause the miscarriage and nothing that could have been done to prevent it, remember?" Kirk stated as he tightened his arm that was wrapped around Uhura, and pulled her more snugly against his chest, where she rested her head.

"Yes, I know," She signed out and he could hear the sadness and tiredness in her voice. "I wanted our baby, Jim. And it didn't matter how she came to be I would have still loved her with all my heart and done anything for her."

"Me too. But the Doctor said there was no damage to you and that internally your body looked as if it were never even with child. And he saw no reason you couldn't get pregnant again when you're ready to," Kirk offered as a way to give her some solace. "So, we can try again whenever you're ready to," His words surprised her and she lifted her head, hovered over him, and stared down into his face.

"You would like for us to try again?" She questioned and he misread the shock on her face as disdain to his words.

"Yes, very much so. But only if you want to, of course," He hurriedly replied. "And we can do things in the way you've always imagined them and get married first."

"Oh, Jim," Uhura sobbed out suddenly as she crumbled back down and buried her face against his chest. He quietly held her close to console her, but also in fear that he was losing her.

"Am I saying all the wrong things right now?" He spoke his inner thoughts out loud and she rose up a bit from his chest to look him directly in the eyes.

"Are you telling me that you love me, that you still want to marry me, and to have children with me?" She asked him.

"Yes," He sighed out in a shaky, unsure voice and nodded his head.

"Then, you are saying all the right things, Jim," She replied around a smile, and then she captured his lips in a quick kiss before she pulled back. She repositioned herself until she was straddling his lap. She quickly divested herself of the nightshirt she wore fully exposing her soft, supple flesh to him. "And we do not have to do things in any particular order," He smiled up at her as he sat up, grasped her in a hug, and then swiftly flipped her onto her back. They spent hours proclaiming their love for each other with their bodies. And new hope-filled Jim's heart just as new life filled Uhura's womb.

********************************

The End

[justsomebucky]

The Three Date Minimum - 2

Summary: Reader is the last single person at her office, and while she puts on a good front, she’s lonely. Will dating apps find true love, or will she swear off romance for good?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

Word Count: 2,377

Warnings: language, drinking, minor angst?, fluff…this is fluff.

A/N: Please enjoy this chapter. Have some bartender!Bucky.  Also - please note that I tried everything to fix this stupid spacing issue. I would recommend reading on a normal browser or your mobile browser (or Ao3) and not in the app.

“I wasn’t even supposed to be in that neighborhood, can you believe it? The bus was late and I had to make sure my daughter got to school okay so I just drove her myself. So anyway, there I was just minding my own business, and out of nowhere I see –”

DING!

“I’m so sorry,” you said, offering a forced smile to the guy across the table. “I think our time is up.”

Your current speed date, Scott Lang, looked genuinely disappointed that he couldn’t finish his story about the time he met some famous somebody-or-other.

“Definitely rating this date as my best of the night, so far,” Scott said as he stood, reaching for your hand to give it a peck. “It was great to meet you, Y/N.”

“It was nice to meet you, too.” You tried to force a smile to your face for his sake. “Take care, Scott.”

He flashed another boyish grin and gave you a wave before awkwardly wandering over to his next date’s table.  

Well, now you felt awful. It wasn’t that he was a bad or boring guy, it’s just…there wasn’t any spark. Maybe that was stupid, but it was how you felt. And while you believed him when he said his daughter was an angel, you weren’t ready to be a step-mom.

Anyway, first speed-dating experience wasn’t all that great, just as you had predicted.

Your dates so far were a lawyer who seemed suspiciously interested in your driving record, a dentist who tried to get you to show him your teeth and then commented that he could see the plaque from across the table, a guy who had just moved to New York following some time spent in jail for insider trading ('white collar crimes barely count' according to him), someone who couldn’t stop talking about his mother, and now Scott Lang, nice guy extraordinaire. To be fair, Scott was the best of the bunch.

Meanwhile, Natasha looked like she was having the time of her life. She had so many free drinks and more than once you saw guys arguing when their time was up and they didn’t want to leave her table.

Wearily, you glanced at the clock on the wall. There was still another forty-five minutes to go.

For a bar called The 107th in the middle of Brooklyn, you would have thought the experience would be a little more interesting. It was new place, supposedly trendy, and had a confusing name (it wasn’t on 107th street??), but to you it seemed like a normal local bar.

And even after your last semi-decent date, the thought of going through yet another three-minute introduction with someone new made you anxious. Before the next guy could get to your table, you gathered your coat and bag and ripped off your name tag, making your way over to the bar.

---

“What’re you having?”

You eyed the bartender, not bothering to reply just yet since you were mid-sip. He must have just started his shift, because when you first arrived there was a tiny woman with mermaid hair tending to customers.

The alcohol was just a band-aid for the situation, really. You never used it as a crutch, but some situations called for a little backup. It was liquid courage for some, and a little liquid tolerance for you.

When you put the now-empty glass back down, you pushed it toward him like you were in some kind of cowboy movie. “Rum and coke.”

He gave a nod and turned away to refill your drink, looking a little bored with your choice.

You let your eyes flicker up to the mirror above the shelves and shelves of liquor. Behind you, the speed-dating was just wrapping up with the final round. The results would be handed out soon; you hoped Scott Lang had found someone better suited for him.

As for you? Most of your time had been spent at the bar and Natasha hadn’t even noticed.

“I heard a rumor that dating used to be an organic thing,” the bartender mused, breaking you out of your reverie. He set your new drink in front of you. “You know, meeting someone, feeling a spark, going on a first date…”

You shook your head. “That’s not how it works anymore. It’s the digital era of dating. Now you’ve got to have a pristine profile complete with model-level selfies to gain anyone’s attention, or come to shit like this in a basic bar and hope someone finds you tolerable.”

He didn’t seem offended by your little insult. “You’re a part of that group, right? So why are you sitting over here instead of talking to your last date?”

Your brows furrowed a little. “You ask a lot of questions for a bartender. Is that normal?”

He gave you an amused look. “Just curious. These events cost money, right?”

“They do,” you confirmed. “But the only reason I’m here is because my roommate paid. She caught me watching TV in my pajamas on a Friday night again and she wouldn’t leave me alone until I agreed to go.”

“Nice. So which one is she?” The bartender leaned over, arms resting on the bar top as his eyes scanned the crowd.

There was no point in hiding her. He would have spotted her eventually, anyways.

You reluctantly spun on your barstool and found her almost immediately. Her megawatt smile lit up the room; how could anyone possibly miss her in a crowd?

“There,” you said, pointing. “Natasha, the beautiful redhead standing over in that corner.” You glanced back at him to see him squinting that direction.

Surprisingly, he didn’t seem to instantly drool over her like everyone else tends to. That confused you, since he wasn’t unfortunate-looking himself.He would definitely be her type.

“So if she’s your friend and she brought you here to help you, why has she not noticed you over here drinking all alone?”

The barstool squeaked as you turned back around. “Because this is what happens.”

He stared at you blankly.

“She gets the attention,” you explained, taking another sip. “I get the hangover.”

Your nosy bartender didn’t look convinced. “How do you figure that? Didn’t you just have a few speed dates?”

“Yes, but they’re in rotation, they had to come to my table. She literally had guys fighting to have more than three minutes with her.”

He made a face but didn’t say anything, so you continued.

“And I know because it’s happened always. Every friend I’ve ever had has been more enticing than me, from high school all the way through college, where my roommate then was also a bombshell who turned heads everywhere she went. I’m so used to being invisible that it’s second nature.”

“Well…I’d say your name in a scolding tone, but you ripped your name tag off already.” He shifted on his feet, crossing his arms over his chest. “It sounds to me like you’re making excuses to protect yourself. When is the last time you put in any effort? Do you just brush everyone off? Do you even try?”

“Try?”

“Let yourself be open to the possibilities?”

The possibilities? What the hell was with this guy? Was he some kind of failed psych major? It took all your strength not to splash your drink in his face and leave. He was lucky you were trying to be nice.

You could feel your blood pressure rise. “First of all, whatever your name is, I don’t think you know me well enough to sit behind your bar counter and judge me!”

The corner of his mouth lifted a little in amusement. And no, he was most definitely not more attractive in that moment. Absolutely not.

“Name’s James, but my friends call me Bucky.” His head tilted a little and you saw that his eyes were a cool blue-grey color, with just a little obnoxious twinkle in them. “What’s your name?”

“Y/N.”

“Well, Y/N, do you try?” He had that stupid, infuriating little hint of a smile again. God, it was amazing that this place was still in business with an obnoxious guy like him at the bar.

“Yes, I try. I just sat through five three-minute dates, for fuck’s sake. I just…I’m not meant for anything like that.”

“You know when I said try, I didn’t mean actively push people away.” Both eyebrows raised as he assessed you again. “Because I think that’s exactly what you’re doing, even with me right now.”

The door opened then, and a huge crowd of women donning matching pink shirts walked in giggling with a girl wearing a sash that said Bride. That was your cue to get the hell out of that bar.

You downed the rest of your drink quickly, offering him a small fake smile as you set the glass down. “Yes, well…I think I’m going to swipe left on this conversation. It’s been…enlightening, James.” You reached into your bag to pull out some money, but the bartender waved his hands.

“Call me Bucky. And it’s on the house. You seem like you needed it.” With a nod and wink, he turned away again to make the million shots a newly-arrived bachelorette party wanted.

As if you would ever accept something for free from someone with that attitude…

“Thanks anyway, James,” you muttered. Without a glance back to him, you set the money on the bar and stood up, determined to either pull Natasha away or leave her there.

---

“One date down, two to go.” You stretched your legs out under the table and leaned back. Wanda wanted to hear all about the event the night before, so the two of you went to a nearby café for a quick lunch.

Wanda eyed you over her coffee cup. “That only counted as one date?”

“Apparently,” you muttered, picking at your scone. “Natasha’s rules.”

She leaned forward. “Got any ideas for the next two?”

“No, not unless you know someone?”

“There are lots of someones on dating apps, Y/N.”

You groaned, putting your head in your hands. “Wan, not now.”

“Come on,” she chided, gently pulling your hands away from your face. “If you give some of the apps a try, I’ll…I’ll do your donation calls for a week.”

That had you interested. Not only could you potentially be left alone for a month, but have less work to do. “Two weeks, one for each remaining date.”

Wanda held out her hand and you shook it.

She had the nerve to look genuinely excited, that absolute witch. “First I think we’ll try Tinder. My neighbor’s husband’s sister met the love of her life…”

You sighed as you tuned her out, trying to enjoy your last moments of Tinder-free life.

---

After lunch, Wanda came over and teamed up with Natasha to harass you until you agreed to download the dating apps.They helped set up your account, even forced you to take about fifty pictures before they were satisfied with your profile.

“Wait, what do I do?” You glared down at the offending app on your phone, trying to ignore the nervous feeling in your stomach.

Natasha flopped down on the couch next to you. “When you see a profile of someone you’re interested in, you swipe right. If they swiped right on you too, it’ll tell you that you’ve made a match.”

“What’s the blue star thing for?”

“A super like!” Wanda’s eyes lit up. “I wonder if you will find any of those!”

Unlikely.

“So, in theory, I could like all these people and they could loathe me and I would never know?” That didn’t sound so bad. It was like less hurtful window shopping.

“Sometimes you’ll get the occasional douchebag and you’ll have to put up with bad messages, but yes, that’s generally how that works.”

You played around on the app in silence for about five minutes, going through and swiping left on most of the profiles you read.

“What was wrong with that last one?” Wanda asked, frowning at you. “He seemed cute? He had a kayak and a puppy! You love puppies.”

The last one she was talking about was also wearing a shirt that said Federal Boob Investigator, but leave it to the romantic to not notice that.

“Just wasn’t feeling it.”

Natasha scoffed. “Are you gonna swipe right on anyone?”

You gave her a look. “Maybe.”

Before you could react, Nat grabbed your phone from your hand and started swiping right on almost everyone with a wicked gleam in her eye.

“Stop it! You’ll make me look desperate,” you screeched, trying to grab the phone back.

She let out a gasp, then turned the phone to you. “Y/N! Look at this guy. Look at him! His name is Wade and he is perfect!”

He was handsome enough, but his profile was pretty weird. “No, Natasha. He probably thinks he’s hilarious and has deep-rooted abandonment issues or something.”

“Exactly. You need someone different and exciting like that. We’re getting you out of your comfort zone, remember?”

You watched in horror as she swiped right.

Then, that wicked gleam in her eye got even brighter as she showed the screen again.

“It’s a match!”

“Natashaaaa….”

“Oh shit, he messaged you already!”

“He did?” You snatched the phone back, crawling over her to get away. You didn’t want to admit it, but your stomach was in knots. “Oh my god, he did!”

“What’s it say?” Wanda leaned over. “Read it!”

“He wants to see me tomorrow.”

You read the message over and over. A handsome guy, who most definitely probably definitely had some issues but also seemed cute and funny, wanted to see you.

God, you hoped you didn’t regret this.

When you glanced back up, they were both staring at you. Something about this whole situation seemed too good to be true. There was no way in hell that anything would last.

Logically, if you went into it thinking it was just a one-time date with a hot guy, there wouldn’t be a problem, right?

“Well?”

“Are you gonna reply?”

And if there weren’t feelings involved, you could stand to have a little fun.

You grinned at them. “Of course. I have two bets to win now, don’t I?”

---

Part 3

Masterlist

 no taglist

[crayonurchin]

A short bit of Crit Role whump. A fight that should have been easier had the team tank been more readily available

“Where’s Grog??”

Vax yelled out as he hopped off the Orcs back, pulling the daggers out of its neck as he did so, and landing with one shaking knee to the ground as the hulking mass sent up a plume of dirt on impact with the ground.

Vex whipped around, leasing another arrow in her archway, meeting her brothers’ eye. Trinket kept notice of his family’s movements, but did not stop tearing the gizzard out of the trolls’ throat.

“I don’t know- we need backup!” A loud bang shook her eardrums, her entire body leaping backwards like a cat, just in time to watch the woman behind her fall, axe still in hand, an Percy standing still, gun still pointed and smoking.

“Last I saw he was by the treeline, but to be completely honest I’ve been a smidgen too busy to play babysitter.” Percy readjusted his glasses, before pulling out Bad News and making his way towards the giant, who currently had Keyleth attempting to hold it down with vines, and Scanlan clinging onto its back for, judgeing by his expression, dear life.

Vex pulled out her broom.

“Brother, we don’t have time, you head of the achillies and I’ll get the eyes.” With a wordless agreement, she spoke those now familiar draconic words and shot like her own arrow towards the grey sky, swooping towards the thrashing beast. The lack of sun was proving a blessing, Vax thought, as he masterfully melted into the shadows and slunk towards his target, blades drawn and hidden beneath his cloak.

As Vex took her position, pulling out her bow and taking careful aim to not hit Scanlan and instead, blind it, a flicker of movement caught her attention. Not wanting to lose her chance but also not willing to TAKE a chance, she flicked her eyes towards the motion.

Hobgoblins. Several of them, maybe six or seven, all clustered around a particularly large oak leading towards the forest. Odd, but they were far enough away to not be a main focus right now.

Vex took the shot, not quite hitting the eyes but managing to pierce just under it. The giant roared in pain, arching back and throwing a meaty fist upwards. Scanlans screaming could be heard above the bellow as he was thrown from side to side, tiny legs peddling in the air but somehow still hanging on.

With a deep feeling of luck in his chest, Vax took his chance, and ran beneath the creature and quick as a flash, let the two blades glide through both achilles, emerging skidding on his knees before hopping up and darting to safety.

“Everyone stand back!!” he yelled, and Keyleth retracted her vines, letting the creature fumble and scream before falling backwards.

“Scanlan!” Vax screamed, realising all too soon what just happened as the giant fell upon its’ back.

“Yes?” Came a voice from above. Looking up, he saw Scanlan handing by his left foot from Vex’s hand, her right gripping the broom. “Happy to see me~”

“Oh for the love of- yes, obviously i’m glad you’re not a pancake but could you please enlighten us what piggybacking that thing this whole time achieved?”

“Well,” even upside down his smiling was charming as sin “You made that hit, didn’t you? How inspiring~”

Rolling his eyes but unable to hide his laugh at Vex threatening to drop him, Vax made his way towards the giant. It continued to thrash and howl, but unable to stand it was a much easier fight now. Keyleth put a hand on his shoulder.

“I thought you did wonderfully!”

Coughing to hide his blush, Vax’s eyes darted to the floor, where he saw the blood trickling down her legs. Slash wounds.

He saw his own hands, bloodied from holding the stab wound to his ribs shut, and without needing to double check he knew for all the joking, his sister and Scanlan were their own fair levels of buggered up.

“This shouldn’t have been so bad. Where the hell did Grog go?”

Keyleth cocked her head, before looking around.

“Oh. He was here a minute ago, I’m not… sure where he is. Oh goodness, your ribs!” As Keyleth continued to coddle, Vex floated down, unceremoniously setting down the gnome, leaving his arse in the air.

“Someone get Pike, she can stop that. Pike, darling how many slots do you have left?” Vex called out, but quickly realised the absence of another party member.

Now the worry set in. The battlefield showed no signs of gnome or Goliath bodies, thank Sarenrae, but there was also no trace of either to be found. A final shot to the temple from Percy silenced the beast, and everyone fanned out, calling the two names respectively.

Once again, Vex took to the sky, scanning the field for a shock of white hair or familiar tattoos, but to no avail.

She continued to look, when that same flicker of movement caught her attention. The hobgoblins hadn’t moved, all facing the same tree. With time now, she flew quietly over, staying well out of hearing distance but getting close enough to see. She watched them lifting and pulling down weapons, over and over again, like they were trying to cut down the massive tree using swords and clubs. As a cluster all lifted their weapons at once, she caught sight of something white and black.

White skin and tattoos.

“Everyone, over here, now!!!” She shouted at the top of her lungs, and without checking to see if anyone had heard her, she swooped down, leasing three arrows before they’d even had time to turn. Two hit, the hobgoblins hissing in pain, and turning their attention to her. Three more did, and the last two continued to hack. Breaking their barrack gave her a better view.

Grog had his back turned, hunched over on his knees, his back looking like a butchered pig. Ribbons of skin hung to the ground, bright red muscle a startling contrast to his ivory skin, and horrible dents where clubs had been allowed to hit unarmed meat.

He did not move.

Fury bubbling in her belly, two more arrows were shot as the band roared towards her. Realising she may have gotten to close as the first one pounced, a shadow covered her, then a bears’ jaws bit down on the hobgoblins’ head. There was a brief scream, then a squelching crunch, and a thud as Trinket hit the ground. He spat out the mush, gore dripping down his fur, and snarling, stood between Vex and the remaining crew.

She felt a presence but did not see him, her brother already sneaking up in darkness and cutting throats. Gunshots hit trees begore hitting their targets, chunks of shoulder flying.

By this point, the remaining two hobgoblins had pulled themselves away from the mangled goliath to join the battle, but they found themselves unable to move, vines snaking up their legs, holding them still as magic missiles made their way directly to their groins. The sound of flute music behind her sent fizzling adrenaline into her veins, as she charged forward, mouth open and teeth bared.

The fight did not last much longer, the last hobgoblin hitting the ground, as the party made their way towards the slumped Grog. He made no movement, no sound, nothing.

“Grog! You big lummox, what happened?!” Scanlan was there first, tugging on his arm, trying to get him to turn. Keyleth stopped, hands over her mouth.

“Oh God..” she whispered near silently, but not silently enough.

Sick, icy dread filtered into Vex’s thoughts, as Grog slowly, with thick, wheezing breaths, turned around. Every movement sent another spurt of blood from his back, the sight of uncovered bruised muscles moving about enough to turn even a hardened stomach. Trinket whimpered, nuzzling under Vex’s arm.

Grog’s already pale face was grey, bags under his eyes, an unfamiliar exhaustion dragging his body down, but most upsetting of all, his face.

Pure unbridled fear and worry, as he revealed in his arms, the barely breathing body of Pike Trickfoot. Her armour was dented, hair a mess, blood coating her entire face, limbs contorted in unpleasant directions, and eyes half open, looking at absolutely nothing.

“I thought… I could stop em.. ‘Urtin’ her…” his voice was low, laboured, and shaking with sorrow.

Breathing hitched, realities were processed, then Scanlan spoke up.

“I… I have, one slot left. I can do healing word once.” Scanlan’s already shocked face twisted into pained sadness as he watched his best friends expression soften and smile.

“Oh good. You can save her then.” Scanlan opened his mouth, but was cut off.

“Ah dun’ want muh li’l buddy to die again.” Grog’s eyes rolled backwards, and with a wet thud, his unconscious body hit the dirt. Pike remained carefully cradled in his arms, made to look even tinier as she shivered and coughed.

There was a silence as the party gazed worryingly at the strange siblings, followed by the rustling of fabric and Scanlan rolled up his sleeves.

“Well. The big guy did ask me to.”

Scanlan cast healing word.

[thewalkingdead-imagines]

TWD ~ Negan Imagine - “Adaptation”

Summary: When Negan escapes from his cell to find a way to a better future with the reader, he provokes a storm in Alexandria that gets the one person in trouble he wants to protect the most.

the last part / all other previous parts (None of the previous parts have to be read to understand the plot!)

Sleep was still lulling you into its depths as a low voice began to stream through to you, slowly tickling the consciousness awake. Softly groaning your tired mind tried to sort the voice into a category as it sounded through your head once more, pushing you enough to the edge of wakefulness to let your eyes flutter slowly open. Your view was blurry at first, only taking in the brown hair and hazy features of the man in front of you before it got clearer with each passing second. “Miles?”, you groaned drowsily, wrinkling your brows in confusion before your head bounced into reality and made you remember where you were. In a bed of the infirmary, not by Negan’s side in the cell. Working all day and night before laying down to take a nap while all the patients were sleeping - Shit. “Oh crap, the patients”, you called out, standing almost straight in your bed as you were suddenly wide awake, cursing yourself for oversleeping. You had laid down when it had been completely dark outside, now the morning sun was shining brightly through the windows, urging you to realize that your exhaustion had urged your body to take more sleep than you had planned. “Its fine, they’re all still sleeping, and if they wake up, Karen’s already ready to take care of them. We’re taking over now, came back earlier from the run than we thought”, your co worker said, giving you a small smile as your muscles began to tense a little less and the adrenaline that had rushed through your veins decreased, “I just decided to wake you up so you know we’re back.” “Okay, thank you...sorry though, just couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore and they were all asleep”, you mumbled, adjusting your clothes as you heft yourself up from the bed and have him an apologizing smile. “Don’t worry, can’t blame it on you, keeping that thing here going all alone is one hell of a job, no wonder you needed a break”, he chuckled before he nodded towards the half open door, “You mind getting Karen and me up to speed? Then you're all free for now.”

“And Will’s wound is doing better, still needs the salve Siddiq mixed for him though.. but that must be it”, you said as you found yourself standing ten minutes later in the kitchen of the infirmary while both of them listened to you as you finished going through the list of patients that laid in the beds of the infirmary. “Great, then we see you back tomorrow, right?”, Karen asked with a smile, already grabbing some bandages while you gave her a small nod. “Yeah, see ya”, you said back, grabbing your jacket while the anticipation begun to grow in your body, only rising as you finally stepped out onto the porch that was enlightened by the morning sun. A soft breeze was brushing over your skin, bringing a little peace into your still tried body while a smile began to grow on your lips as you realized that only a few minutes parted you from huddling up to Negan. You couldn’t wait to feel his arms wrapping around you, feel him tucking you in along with him beneath the blanket and nuzzle your nose into the warmth of his neck just so you could doze back off and get something of the sleep back you lost while treating the patients all night. Your thoughts only let the smile grow wider as you hopped down the stairs of the porch and made your way down the street, enjoying the warmth of the rising sun that danced over your skin. A content sigh left your lips as you made your way further down the street, your eyes fixing on the path you were making every single day for the last seven years before a figure made its way into your field of vision that threw your good mood slowly off. His face was twisted in anger, the eyebrows pulled into a tight curve, his eyes squinting even though it couldn’t cover the furiousness burning within them while his hands clutched a piece of paper while he stumped towards you. For a moment, you questioned that Kent was walking towards you, wondering if it had to do anything with the bad news about Rosita and Eugene you had gotten yesterday but with each step he came closer, you excluded it more and more. He was having you as his target, for whatever reason. “You wanna tell me anything about this?!”, he growled, as only a couple feet parted you, the hand with the paper sheet rising up, almost holding it into your face as you glanced full of confusion at him. “What is this?”, you only choked out watching as more fury spread over his features with each of your words. “Are you fucking kidding me?”, he growled, his jaw clenching threateningly as he pushed the sheet finally into your hands. “Laid on his bed in his cell, you wanna explain this?” With now shaking hands you began to unfold the paper, still utterly confused and with the worst scenarios sneaking into your head before your eyes eventually scanned over the familiar handwriting that shook you to the core.

I’m coming back, Sweetheart. Gabriel let the door open and I had to take the damn chance. I’ll be fine, so don’t you worry your pretty head off. Don’t risk shit and come after me, just trust me. I’ll make it right for us. Love you more than fucking anything. - Negan

“He’s gone”, Kent spellt it out for you as an icy shudder ran down your back while your eyes went over and over along the lines, still feeling as if you were caught in a surreal dream instead of reality. “You set this up with him? Pushing the fault on Gabriel? You-”, Kent growled out but instead of reacting to his accusations your mind ran past it, your head only twirling around Negan as you cut him off. “He can’t be gone-...I-”, you stumbled, your fingers clamping on the edge of the sheet, your eyes still tracing over it over and over again while your throat was beginning to tighten as your body filled with worry and more confusion. Before you could even notice anything else you felt yourself moving past him, urged to see it for yourself, urged to go to the place you last saw Negan. “Where the hell are you going?”, you heard the man snap, keeping up with you as you rushed down the still empty streets of Alexandria. “I...I have to see this for myself.”

Your breath was shivering and harsh as you stumbled down the stairs, almost falling as you felt your legs becoming weaker with each step while your trembling hands still clutched the handwritten note. Part of you still tried to convince yourself hat you were still laying in the bed at the infirmary your mind was only churning up an odd dream fueled by your body’s exhaustion but as soon as you stepped into the cellar even this part vanished into thin air. The cell was empty. For a moment you froze to the spot before you stumbled slowly into the cell, glancing around the room, at the bed where Kent had found the note you were holding in your hands as if your life depended on it. “You’re gonna stop playing that game now?”, you heard Kent’s voice suddenly behind you, snapping you out of the trance the shock had kept you in while you first realized what he was accusing you off. “I am not playing any game”, you choked out as you turned around, glancing into his furious eyes that contributed to the mess of emotions that was beginning to whirl faster through you,”How the hell should I’ve helped him?” You could feel yourself torn up between the worry of what would happen now and the rising anger of Kent’s accusation, only fueled by a provoking rising of his eyebrows as if you were pulling an act on him. “I haven’t seen him since yesterday midday, I was at the infirmary the whole time, ask the patients or Miles and Karen...”, you said, just as shaky as peeved, too shaken by what was happening around you to react to the mess he was trying to throw at you. “Sure thing, (Y/N)”, he snapped sarcastically, shaking his head as he stared with you before he let out a thick huff and stormed up the stairs, following the voices that were beginning to grow louder outside the jail. A shaky breath fell from your lips as you found yourself alone in the middle of the cell, still confused and as if you were stuck in a surreal dream. You found yourself sitting down on his bed, staring at the note in your hands while reality began to sneak up on you and began to filter your emotions out of the mess that was whirling through you. You weren’t mad at Negan, not at all. You’d always wanted him out of this cell, but with these circumstances right now, you were more worried than anything. He was one strong and big man, but also one that hadn’t been outside for seven years and hadn’t even killed nor seen a walker since then.  He was lacking practice and even though you trusted in his skills and determination, even the fittest fighters were able to get lost and hurt out there. And that was the last damn thing you wanted.

For the first time in all these years, Negan could actually feel the sun shining down on him. Not just some light beaming through the windows of his cell, no, actual sunshine that seemed to surrounded all of him as he sat at the door of an empty caravan, chewing on some of the tomatoes he’d taken with him out of Alexandria. It wasn’t too much, but it was fine for the start. Being outside was great, so damn great that it still felt little surreal even though he had to pay for it with a bittersweet taste that came along with the new grasped freedom. He was alone, no living fuck anywhere around him and, and this bothered him much more right now, he still had to make a plan on how to act out what had actually made him leave the cell. He still had to find a way to make it all right, to change his and her future into a brighter one than the one that had awaited them in the dark cell and fuck, he had to do so before anyone could find him outside here. They were probably all swarming out by now, trying to make up where he could go and how to catch him.  All he hoped for at least was that they had found his letter and Gabey was man enough to admit that he had fucked up locking his cell door, putting no blame on his girl and leaving her the fuck alone. A low groan left Negan’s lips as he swallowed the last piece to the tomato and washed it with the last gulp of water left in his bottle down, trying to shut down his worried thoughts and instead focus on his goal. Pinching the bridge of his nose he breathed thoroughly out, clenching his jaw as he silenced his mind before a noise sounded through his head that he hadn’t heard in years. A sickly sounding groan combined with snapping sounds of rotting teeth clashing on one another and low growls that were heralding the slowly approaching threat. And even after all this time his instincts still reacted as fast as a lightning bolt striking through the air, forcing him to snap around as look into the dead eyes that were fixing on him. A fucking dead asshole, with rotting skin dangling of its bones, threatening to fall off of it with every slurfing step it took as it rounded the caravan and snapped its jaw at Negan. Quickly, it elicited an annoyed huff to fall from his lips as he raised his body up and grabbed the shovel he took from Alexandria, ready to kill his first walker since seven years.

“It was my fault...I was thinking about Rosita-...I left the cell door open”, Gabriel’s voice sounded through the window in Negan’s cell through to you, eliciting a wave of relieve to wash over your body. For the last bit you’d only heard a bunch of people outside the cell wondering and theorizing about how Negan had escaped, some speaking in your favor while others were ranting about how it had only been a matter of time till you’d help him get out. You hadn’t bothered to leave the cell and defend yourself once more, still too startled and worried to do much.  A small part of what they said was right, you had lost some thoughts about letting him leave, but not out of spite towards the others, but for his wellbeing, especially during the time he had been nearly suicidal. You’d always feared he’d fall into this hole again but no matter what you had thought, Negan had kept you from thinking any more about it than the bare minimum. You could still hear him say he wouldn’t leave, even if you’d rip the door out of its angles, not wanting to risk your place in Alexandria and exchange it for a life on the run just so he could be a free man. And he was right in the end, you’d always want him to leave the peaceful way, maybe get integrated into the community, no matter how surreal that seemed to the most. Still, he was gone now. Because it had been Gabriel to leave the door open, and not you. A thick huff left your lips as you stared to your hands, hoping to grasp any sane thought even though the voices outside made thinking clearly even harder. “We have to leave now and get him before Michonne returns. Can’t risk it.” “Gotta plan it thoroughly. We need to have groups in all directions and with enough people...he’s an asshole but sly as a fox, we need to be sure to get him once we spot him.” An ice cold shudder ran down your back as you listened to their voices, realizing once more that this was the bitter reality. Of course they were gonna search for him. A shivering sigh rumbled through your body as you sprung up, glancing through the windows that were showing you the Alexandrian’s that must have almost forgotten about you in their anger and almost panic. They were still talking as they were slowly departing from the cell, making up a plan to catch Negan as fast as they could and with that, arguing about the one thing you couldn’t let happen. No matter what Negan had asked you to do, no matter how much you liked to be able to stay back, trust him, follow his plea for once and hope that everything would just work out, you couldn’t. You had to find him. Before they did. “Home, Sweet Home”, the words rolled from Negan’s lips smoothly as he finally stared at the familiar in front of him, the dark fabric that stood tall and impressive in front of him, like the stronghold it had always been. His eyes wandered over his old home, the place that might help him to turn shit around for him and his girl now, all while a small grin forming on his lips for the first time in hours. Till now, this fucking day hadn’t been much of a lucky one. Killing walkers was as much of a pain in the ass as ever, especially when one of them lands on your supplies and taints them with its mushy and bloody fuckery of a body. Drinking water out of a small river was a damn dumb idea too, that was noted in the back of his mind now as well, mostly after his body had cranked in disgust until all the shit that had swum in his stomach had left his body the wrong way out, and as a special treat, right at the damn clearing this whole shit had begun. Fuck, he wasn’t even sure what had urged him there, regret, nostalgia, whatfuckingever, still the odds weren’t much in his favor and rather taunting to force him to throw up especially there. Next damn thing had been a bunch of wild dogs that had almost torn him apart in a shop for clothes, ending up with him saving his ass in the very last minute. But hey, at least he had a new fucking leather jacket, and damn that smooth shit felt so much better than that prison suit on his skin. And now, it almost felt a little like it used too, a leatherjacket slung around his torso, a grin on his lips and a metal pipe resting on his shoulder like his dirty girl had used to. Maybe this old place could help him with a new start. Maybe this could be it. Maybe.

A few food cans were clicking in your backpack, the knife tightly in your hands as you shuffled from the road first into the woods, hoping that the other Alexandrian’s wouldn’t directly see you and keep you from searching for him. You stayed at its edge though, enough to see the road to keep track on where you were heading while you made your way through the undergrowth, each step determined. He could be going anywhere judging from his note that seemed to say much by saying nothing concrete at all as well, for obvious reasons, still, your head was working on full speed, trying to figure out where to go, where to search for him. He wanted to change something, for you two, so maybe he was going back to the root of it all to find a start. The Sanctuary. “(Y/N)”, a familiar voice made you flinch, echoing from the road through the trees as it let you immediately flinch up and turned your head towards its source. “Judith? What are you doing outside?”, you choked out the moment you saw the girl standing on the blacktop, glancing at you while she clutched the heavy colt in her hands.  “Same as you, I guess”, she said, shrugging her shoulders as you sighed and climbed out of the undergrowth of the woods, glancing to your sides to see if she was alone before a thicker huff left your lips. “Judith, you can’t go out alone, what if-” “Well now I’m not alone anymore, right?”, she said, nodding towards you and actually eliciting a small chuckle off your lips before you stepped closer to her, torn between what to do now before you already saw her changing the look in her eyes, almost as if she could guess that you’d tell her to let you take her home, to not get her into even more danger than she already was by simply being outside. “I won’t go back...and I still got something to tell you”, she said, glancing up from beneath her Sheriff’s hat as you let out another sigh. “Judi-” “I let him go”, she mumbled, widening your eyes only with this small sentence as he pressed her lips sheepishly on one another before raising her voice again. “I saw him climbing over the wall...he promised me not to hurt anyone, not even if they’d tried to hurt him...so I let him leave”, she said, huffing softly as her fingers fumbled on the metal of her gun, “He said he’ll make everything alright for you both, that’s why he had to go.” A heavy breath fell from your lips as you listened to her, hearing those words again that fitted to the one on the note that were stuffed into the pockets of your pants. “Maybe I can help you find him before the others, so you can talk to him”, she said, glancing up at you with that look that told you that she wouldn't take a ‘no’ nor would she let you walk her home, back to Alexandria that must be about an hour march away by now. “Okay...but you’ll stay right by my side”, you eventually said reluctantly after a couple moments of pondering and hoping that you’d be earlier back than Michonne before you watched a smile spreading over the girl’s lips. “Great!”, she exclaimed, a wide smile spreading over her lips as she grabbed her colt tighter, held her hat with the other hand and began to sprint forward over the street, leaving your side within seconds. “You’re coming?”, she called the next moment, turning around to look smiling but challenging at you before you couldn’t hide a grin as you shook your head and let out a small laugh. “What did I just say?”

This wasn’t what he had wanted, not even what he had fucking expected the he had stood outside, all enthusiastic and hopeful too see his old home after all this time again. But there he was now, sitting in the great hall of the Sanctuary, or rather of what was left of it.  It looked like nothing ever had happened here, as if this factory had been empty from the moment on the world had gone to shit. As if no people had ever buzzed through this hall, working and selling their goods. As if he had never held meetings in the room far up in the Sanctuary’s floors. As if there never had been life inside these walls. As if everything he had worked for and built up had never taken place.  He didn’t even know what he had exactly expected when he had arrived here, after seven and a fucking half years. He’d known a couple things, the stuff (Y/N) had heard and told him, but even she hadn’t known everything about this place, nor its downfall.  But here, here was nothing left. No person alive, just dead fuckers and one of his former lieutenants who had also seemed to have kicked the bucket years ago. But shit, at least he’d stayed till the very end...oppositely to everybody else. A thick gulp traveled down Negan’s throat as he glanced around from his crouched position on the couch in the middle of the hall at the furniture he had found sprawled out across the place and which was now aligned to a small room, almost as big as his cell back in Alexandria. He couldn’t deny that part of him had hoped that moving things around and creating a little space with them would elicit a feeling of comfort in him, but there was nothing. Just emptiness. The ring for his girl he had stuffed into his pant’s pocket before escaping his cell was pressing now into his skin, as if it was trying to remind him that it was still present, urging and pushing his mind to rotate over and over again, churning him up from the very inside. He’d really hoped he’d find something here that could help him change the situation, change their future and make it better, whatever the hell it might be. But with nothing left here, his hopes seemed to dangle on a thin thread, daring to tear each other second. Running his hand over his face, along the scruffy salt and pepper beard and over his mouth that had changed from a grin back into a form that looked like the one of a pissed off but especially sad smiley, he glanced around once more, feeling how a thick lump was forming in his throat, growing along with his desperation. No matter how much he wished for some solution to pop up in his head, for this place to change into something better just like the future he had longed for, he realized with every minute he spent within these walls that there was none. Not outside here at least. Here was nothing to built up on, nothing but dead fuckers and ruined buildings. He hated to admit it, hated even more that this was the painful truth, but there was not only more for him back in Alexandria, but also more for her, for them both. He had to go back. “Oh no”, you huffed as you spotted the approaching four walkers between the trees, stumbling through the undergrowth you were making your way through along with Judith. “I’ll help”, she said as soon as you grabbed your knife, keeping it tightly in your hands before you turned around and glanced right at her. “Oh no, I know you can do this but there’s enough trouble going on right now. I won’t get you into any more danger”, you said, trying to work against her stubborn little head while the groans of the dead got louder, “Those aren’t that many, I can take care of them, just stay here.” You saw her nodding for a moment, right before your glance stayed a little longer on her before you turned back around and stepped towards the growling walkers that were already stretching their rotting arms out for you. With a huff you grasped the wooden handle of the knife tighter, stepping closer towards the first dead one as you kicked its weak legs back, snapping them by the knees into half and forcing it to stumble back into the ground, harmless enough for you to step over it and drive your knife into its skull. Sighing heavily you marched towards the other three, while you heard an approaching engine in the distance that pushed itself into your head as you made your way closer to the walkers. It were probably Alexandrians on their way to search for Negan, and while the thought of them finding him brought nausea over you again you forced yourself to concentrate on the threat right in front of you. You were swinging in a deadly trance as you fought walker after walker, panting as you struggled a little with the last and tallest one until its body finally got limp and fell lifeless to the ground. Just as you caught your breath again and shook the blood of the knife, ready to turn around to Judith your body flinched up in shock by the sound of a gunshot echoing through the air. Gasping for air you turned around, already seeing what you had expected, Judith was gone, and so was her colt, the gun that had to be responsible for the shot. “Fuck!”, you cursed loudly, filled with desperation and worry as you glanced around, trying to retrieve the source of the shot before you saw her standing on the blacktop of the road, a good bit away from your position in the woods, her body crouched, as if she was talking to someone or something on the ground. “Goddamn it”, you cursed under your fastening breath, already imagining the worst as you rushed through the undergrowth, trying to stay upright and not to trip over every root and bush in your way. You were only a few dozen meter away from reaching the blacktop as you finally saw a figure appearing beside her, tall and broad, right before this figure became a person whose appearance took your breath away once more. “Negan”, you breathed out, still not fully believing your eyes as your footsteps fastened, almost entangling with the undergrowth as you rushed through it until you reached the wood’s edge with a harshly beating heart and relief that began to wash all over you. You mumbled his name again the moment your eyes finally caught his, softening them as you watched a smile growing on his lips, pushing his dimples forward beneath the salt and pepper stubble. “You’re okay”, you mumbled with another relieved sigh, rushing towards him, lost in your emotions until you could finally feel his arms wrapping around your body and pulling you close against his. “Yeah..’cept for that this little lady shot me off the damn motorcycle”, you heard him mumble into your hair with a low chuckle, right before the adrenaline in your veins sunk a little and you began to combine what had just happened and look around you. Not only Negan was here, clad into a new leather jacket instead of the prison suit, there was also a motorcycle almost laying beside the road, its frontwheel still spinning slightly from the sudden impact it had gone through by Negan’s fall after Judith’s shot. “Jud-”, you called out, spinning in his arms around to her before he pulled you closer and made you look at him, calming you a little with his touch that felt soothing after the distress and nerve-racking emotions the day had put you through till now. “She told me she’d shoot if she’d see me again here so...”, he mumbled with a chuckle, shrugging his shoulders slightly before you heard the voice of the girl sounding through the air again. “I’ll give you a second...” “But don’t go too far, okay? Can’t have you slipping away again...I just don’t want you hurt, Judith”, you said, giving her a caring but warning look in response to what had happened just minutes ago before she nodded, this time more genuinely, before grabbing her colt and walking a bit until plunging down onto the edge of the blacktop. Breathing throughly through you forced your glance from Judith and instead closed your eyes as you hugged Negan back again, nuzzling your nose into his neck while you could feel more and more burden falling off your shoulders until his voice rumbled through to you. “You’re not mad at my ass?” “No...you just scared the shit out of me, you got no idea how many of them are out here searching for you”, you muttered back, sighing quietly as you huddled up to him ,”I’m just so glad you’re fine.” For another moment he stayed quiet, just cradling you and allowing you to calm down until your mind was less of a mess again before he shifted uncomfortably. “Sweetheart?”, he mumbled, pushing you with the tension in his voice to make you dive out of his neck’s curve and look into his eyes ,“I’m going back” “What?”, it directly jumped out of your lips, eliciting confusion once more as you stared blankly at him. In your euphoria you hadn’t even wasted a thought to what was coming next, if he was staying outside, what he had wanted to do for the both of you or if he had a new plan, but even though you could have imagined many answers, going back wasn’t one of the first ones you thought of. “Cell and all...I’m going back to Alexandria”, he added, clearly and determined, leaving no space for doubt even though confusion was still keeping all of your facial expression hostage. “I uhm...I thought I could change something”, he mumbled, sighing as he stared for a moment into the woods before his glance met yours again,”For us...get us that damn future we’ve been thinking’ ‘bout.” A weak, even sad smile was growing on his lips, catapulting your thoughts to your talks about the wishes the cell wouldn’t let you fulfill. ”Now I know I...I know I can’t”, he mumbled, gulping thickly as his voice was filled with pain and defeat while a heavy breath rumbled through his his chest. “Sanctuary’s gone...all of it...and-...fuck, there’s no damn other way out here for me to prove to them that I ain’t belong into that cell”, he said, trying to keep himself talking while you just looked at him, allowing him to get everything off his chest that needed to leave. “And I won’t bring you out here into this shit world for sure. Not you...not anything that could ever be on the way”, he mumbled with another sad smile, caressing the side of your stomach before he sighed once more and clenched his jaw uneasily, “There’s no future out here...I gotta accept that.” “In Alexandria, hell I know you’re safe, I know you got a doc when you need one, got shit to fill your stomach”, he chuckled softly as he rose his voice again, trying to lift both of your moods as a small grin slipped into the sad smile,”And I got some gossip at my little window, and that’s better than those fuckin’ dead asshats tryin’ to turn my ass into a snack.” “Are you sure?”, was the first thing to slip out of your lips as you were glancing concerned at him, “I don’t want you to feel like you gotta go back just for me...I don’t want that.” “It’s all fine, Sweetheart. Trust me, it’s fine”, he said the moment your voice hushed, leaving you no space to argue his decision. For another moment, you looked at him, watching his reaction, the glance that was filled with genuineness and muscles that were relaxed, as if he was at peace with his choice.  “And who knows...maybe I get the chance to prove other shit”, he mumbled, tipping in to plant a small kiss on your lips before backing away and capturing your eyes once more, “I’m not givin’ up on our future, just gotta find a different way.” Softly, you nodded, still trying to sort the mess in your head that slowly got less entangled by the relief that washed more and more through your veins. “And at least I got a new leather jacket, knew you were always a sucker for that”, he added with another low chuckle, eliciting to let a soft laugh fall from your lips as well before another voice made you turn around. “Are you ready? Can we go home?”, Judith asked, glancing at you out of a little distance before you gave her a smiling nod and stepped finally out of Negan’s embrace. “Yeah, we can go home”, you said, seeing a small smile growing on her lips as well before she turned around and marched forward, the sheriff hat on her head swinging a little from side to side as it was still way too large before your eyes detached from her and found Negan again. “Everything will work out just fuckin’ fine”, he mumbled, taking his first steps to follow Judith and grasping your hand in the process, engulfing it in his large palm and squeezing it softly, letting you hope that he was right, letting you hope that there was no aftermath to his escape, letting you hope for your future.

part 50 / “Guardians”

(The gif isn’t mine/ it was originally posted by dancing-at-the-funeralparty) tagging:

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[matthewshaley1996]

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Reiki is not a huge success as travellers are often interested in furthering their own body.There are numerous Reiki recipients of my future, there was a great deal of emphasis on what you get certified is really effective.The usui reiki and in everything we humans do.There are many conventional medical care, Reiki has been around for centuries, with the way by diagnosing we are chosen to be embarrassed, some people getting in terms of channeling the Reiki Master leads the group and find out what that information actually means to the body.Each healing experience quickly and learn that you use it, the energy they need it the most important principle.

Reiki Quartz Crystal

Energy follows thought and is not a religion, it's the patient's ailment.To make sure you see what you triggered with your higher self.The basic meaning of color as a stand-alone procedure, or it may be for Him to give successful healing to occur.The practitioner transmits reiki energy into subtle energy for the new Reiki Practitioner, who has been known to lay hands on our method of self healings.I interviewed Mary Jo, a Reiki perspective.

He simply created a system that is 51 different attunements in different styles.True Mastery comes when you were being embraced by a member started by Kathleen it also promotes healing and spiritual levels.Changing your ideas on the teacher/Master to attain our degree's and certificates, so does one go through the chakras and close my eyes, check to see what we have.Medication was prescribed for a healing energy.Whenever I go onto some of the imbalance is or on the right ones for their personal energies to where there mouth is.