#also if I've misunderstood something I'm happy to hear it!

[dribs-and-drabbles]

So 10 Years Ticket has ramped up the complexity in ep 4 and I'm left reeling like the murder board meme. Who the fuxk is everyone and what is their relationship to each other? That needs answering before we even get close to who killed Mai and more importantly why. Because it definitely wasn't Luk and her confessing has to have something more than just hiding the dodgy things Mai was doing from his family to save his reputation.

Now here's where the language nuance might obscure some obvious things but it seems the police inspector, Champ, and the movie theatre owner, Piak, are potentially brothers (biological maybe?) and their father is a local crime boss. That's my most basic interpretation. Or they could just be unrelated subordinates... And Pin is looking most likely as Mai's mother. I'm not sure of her relationship with Piak but they could also be siblings.

With the money that exchanged hands, I don't quite understand the two lots of 800,000 baht...but maybe I'm not supposed to yet. Piak brought one lot to his father whilst So and Plu were...what? stealing?...another lot from some other shady people. Was that supposed to be in exchange for something which Plu didn't hand over? Or were they there just to collect the money and had to protect themselves from the shady three potentially trying to steal it back? And one lot of the 800,000 was ransom money for the character Marc plays (that was a nice surprise too!)...so who is he related to/work for that can pay for his release like that?

Oh it's all so fascinating and I can't wait to see it all unravel.

I also thought the ep did a fantastic job of showing Phukao's changing perspective - we know from the trailer he's going to be on Kongkwan's 'side' at some point and the way he was deeply contemplative this ep makes this eventual transition completely believable already. And a lot of that is down to Ohm and the direction he received.

I love this show. Everyone is so fascinating and have been cast SO WELL. And the MUSIC. God the music is STUPENDOUS. I'm brimming with excitement at how everything is going to develop.

(Please. I wish I didn't have to say this but please for the love of all the ql gods, if this is based on a novel, DO NOT TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS IN THE BOOK. Please and thank you.)

[a-random-weeb]

hi ive never requested like anything from anyone before so my DEEPEST apologies if this is really bad..😭😭

so like this idea has been eating at me for WEEKS but i cannot write at all so.. here i am in requests 🙏🙏

imagine a reader who works in the port mafia,,, but she’s dating ada dazai, she’s knew him since he was in the mafia and once he left they never really separated like chuuya and dazai did… eventually they start dating and it’s so obvious… they obviously try to hide it from everyone but chuuya eventually catch’s on and isn’t even surprised, even after he left they constantly reminded chuuya of all the things they did together before he left, and how much fun they all had (chuuya absolutely argued on having fun with dazai) AND I DONT REALLY KNOW HOW TO END IT OFF BUT ITS BEEN EATING AT ME AND I NEEDED SOMEBODY TO KNOW 😭😭🙏

Haha, thanks for thinking I'm a good enough writer to help with your idea ♥️

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Chuuya confronts you about dating Dazai you freeze, completely shocked

"H-how did you know?!"

"I'm not surprised, you two had chemistry anyway." He shrugs. You stay silent, astonished that he knew

"please don't tell anyone, Chuu!"

"I won't I won't." He sighs, flopping down on your bed. Chuuya had texted and asked to come over to hang out, which you agreed, completely forgetting you invited Dazai over as well. When you hear the doorbell ring, a wave of confusion washes over you. You answer it, only to see dazai.

"I completely forgot I invited you! I also have chuuya over, is that ok?" He nods and comes in, you jump up the stairs and lead him to your room "Don't you remember when we all hanged out like this? We had so much fun!" You smile

"Fun?! I've never had fun with someone like Dazai!" Chuuya pouts as you giggle.

"What about all the selfies we took? You looked pretty happy in those!"

"THAT WAS FOR THE SAKE OF THE PHOTO!"

"What about the ones we took when we caught you off guard? You were happy in those" Dazai buts in, smirking.

"SHUT UP!!" Chuuya screams, embarrassed. You laugh, "I really did miss these times..." Dazai pecks you on the list "But it's better now that we're dating~"

"GET A FUCKING ROOM YOU TWO!" You and Dazai burst out laughing, "Technically this is her room so..."

"BE QUIET WORTHLESS GOOD FOR NOTHING!"

"Oh? But you're the one screamin-"

"Both of you shut up!" You hiss while Chuuya sends Dazai a death glare. "it's just like when we were 15... let's all hang out more, just the three of us..."

˚+* ♡˚.°˖✧‧˚+* ♡˚.°˖✧‧˚+* ♡˚.°˖✧‧˚+* ♡˚.°˖✧‧˚

I hope this is the kind of ending you were looking for, if you were hoping for something different or I misunderstood something I could rewrite it for you! Though, it might take awhile because it took me awhile to think about this one how it is

[kanmom51]

Hi, I really like your rational views on KM and I'd love to hear your opinion on the following. Forgive me If you've already touched upon it, but something you said in a previous ask made me perk up.

Some people believe that whatever content comes out of Jikook's NY/CT trip will diminish its value as being 'real' jikook content. That the sharing of it with ARMY instantly makes it 'fanservice', instead of something for them (are people forgetting abt GCFT?) real moments. What in your eyes would still make it special?

I'm of the belief that they are idols living semi public lives. Even when they're working they'll have moments that are special for them. Those moments also happen to further their special bond. A bond that ARMY feeds off of. Can we still call that fanservice when they've essentially had a workplace romance? Where do you think the boundary lies for them?

They have yet to share anything about their trip, and maybe they're not doing that because 1. It's private, 2. It's future content, 3. Maybe both?

Thanks a million!

"Some people believe that whatever content comes out of Jikook's NY/CT trip will diminish its value as being 'real' jikook content. That the sharing of it with ARMY instantly makes it 'fanservice', instead of something for them (are people forgetting abt GCFT?) real moments."

Before I start here, I just want to clarify that I neve said that.

I don't think you are saying I did, and yet there might be those that misunderstood my words?

I was saying that they had a private trip in the guise of a work one. That the purpose was private, their own, all while it will be disguised as creating content, because in this place in time it's the best they could do.

Now that we have that cleared, I'm on to your ask.

I personally don't think that them releasing content from their trip will diminish from it. It's all about what that trip meant to them, not what it proves or disproves to us.

You do get the difference, right?

Even in the very very little we got (saw or heard) from their trip, they were enjoying themselves. Btw, at the stop&shop they were on their own. Even if there was a crew with them, even if they were filming some of it, it most definitley wasn't all of it. It was their trip and I'm assuming that they got to decide what will be filmed and turned into content and what will be theirs and only theirs. They got to experience time together, just the two of them. They got to get away, just before their schedules turn crazy. They got to do this before the looming enlistment. I'm sure it meant the world to them. And if creating some content was a price to pay for it, then they were ok to pay it. But in no way does it diminish from the importance of this to them.

As for what this proves or disproves, well that's a question that those who don't believe or want to accept they are a couple raise to create doubt. And truthfully one we shouldn't be paying any attention to, because it's downright stupid. They created content, so what? They also travelled and enjoyed themselves and were giggly happy and if anyone claims this was forced on them for content purposes they are outright dumb. I will ask them another question. What other 2 members have EVER done this kind of thing? Travel together, like a couple, not for the first time, to create content?

I'm kind of sick of the fanservice narrative. As a whole, every content released is fanservice, to an extent. Not the "we are creating a fake moment because the fans might want it" kind of fanservice though. BTS mostly doesn't do that. I've talked about this a lot in the past. Releasing content the fans like doesn't make it fake or unreal. And documenting their trip and sharing parts of it with us doesn't make their bond and love and enjoyment of each other any lesser.

When we travel and document and share with family and friends, are we doing it for them or for us? Yes, it's not exactly the same, but you can take from it. JK has done it in the past, it's not something strange or new to him. GCFT was a masterpiece and all about his private trip with JM. A very important trip for the two of them. Was GCFT fanservice? Fuck no!!! It was JK letting us see a glimpse of them, of his love for JM, of their trip together. JM also posted his vlogs, and they weren't fanservice either, just him sharing a little more discretely, or more so less obviously.

So, conclusion, sharing parts of their trip (I really don't think this will be a BV or ITS type of content, more like a trip vlog), is not fanservice (not fake) and did not diminish from the importance of the trip for the two of them.

You ask if it can be fanservice when it's a workplace romance. Well, again, we are back to what the actual definition of fanservice is. And the thing is when it's used by people when it comes to Jikook we know it's the fake, forced, ingenuine meaning behind it. So, to that I would say that if the feelings are genuine and they are acting on them, they are not fanservice in that perspective. Do some fans like it? Yes they do. Fact: in PTD LA when JK was hanging over JM at the end of So what, JM all flustered, JK being as loud as shit, the cameras, you know, those that are there to capture fanservice, panned away. Purposefully. I have 1001 examples of Jikook moments cut or Jikook moments in the background, them unaware of the cameras capturing them. Point being, they do what they do because they are who they are and that's their relationship, their bond, their dynamics, content or not. Their interactions. Their reactions to each other. They are all genuine. Not put on. Not fake.

If the fans enjoy them, so be it. But they are not created for the fans.

Get the difference?

And you ask about boundaries. Well, they are clearly set. Because they are a closeted queer couple and because they want a semblance of privacy as well. Both being the reason, btw, they didn't share being together on JK's birthday this year. The lack of a buffer might have made it too obvious this year (especially after JM's pic drop).

As for sharing from their trip, I'd say it's a combination of it being private and being future content. I do think we will get a little content from it, but it was a private and special trip for them, so there will be much untold.

What people fail to understand is that if this is future content, as in content that will be shared with us perhaps when they are away in the army, them creating this content together is huge and loud and telling. They are the only two within the group to do so. And if this is not a one of, as in there is more shared content, well...

[stormblessed95]

https://www.tumblr.com/stormblessed95/758157050982318080/httpswwwtumblrcomstormblessed957581451949578?source=share

Okay it sounded angry to me so sorry to misunderstand. To explain myself, my ask was initially a bit different and I wrote a lot of things which after reading it, I felt might be a bit weird so I removed them but I can see now that what I sent ended up being very empty so you might've misunderstood it as me wanting validation or something about jikook.

What I wanted to say in the ask was just that neither option is completely right or wrong at this stage right? We don't know if jikook are together or not together and we may never know so technically both options aren't incorrect. It doesn't matter if you tell me yes jikook are bfs or no they aren't since neither of us really knows them in real life. Now if I logically think about it the best option would be that they're not dating. But my brain coming to that conclusion doesn't actually convince me of anything because when I see their dynamics everything about them screams 'boyfriends" to me. My ask was supposed to be about how logic versus instinct plays into our view of their relationship. And then I had initially written some stuff about religion (the logic of atheism versus the instinct of spirituality) but it felt like a trivialisation comparing shipping to God even if I felt there was a similarity there in the psychology behind it so I removed all of that.

The crux was that it's always fascinating to read about the pretzels the brain will twist itself into to not have to change it's opinion on something. So I'm constantly wondering if continuing to be a jikooker is okay or if I'm falling into the same trap. Sometimes it feels like you can't trust your brain because are these real reasons or is your brain tricking you because it wants to believe something. I was just wondering if you ever had thoughts like that yourself. Or if it even matters? But I feel like it matters a little. I hope this was a bit clearer about what I meant

Your original ask

You do realize that this ask is a completely different ask than your first one right? Lol I also didn't think you were wanting validation. I didn't know what you wanted other than to state your opinion AT me. 😂 Which like okay, you do you. But those asks, I normally delete. Because what's the point of them? And I say that genuinely. They read like a twt post or blog post you should make on your own pages. And they don't have anything to do with me. Which, not to be egotistical or anything, but this is MY space. Lol not the Jkkrs space. It's just mine, only storms. If you choose to hang out here, I'm happy to have you though.

Neither of us knows them in real life, so everything we say and share on here is just various spewed opinions.... Yes. That is what i say CONSTANTLY. Soooo what more did you need from me there? Lol

I'm not sure where religion comes into this, but as someone who is not religious, Im not sure id want to touch on that topic either, especially if not handled very sensitively. So that was probably a good idea to drop that one.

Psychology of the brain is absolutely a super interesting topic and I've spoken lots, especially also in my later posts about confirmation bias and the natural biases that every human has and how that colors everything we see hear and do, no matter how much we try to not let it.

Being a Jkkr is still okay, even if you don't think they are dating or if you do and they turn out not to be. It's also okay to be a Jkkr who doesn't think they are dating and is surprised if it's ever revealed that they are. There are no rules here. As long as you are respectful to the members and to their private lives, how you conduct yourself and the parts of fandom you participate in, is always okay.

My opinions are my own, I share them here pretty consistently. If you want to know my opinion on things, it's easy to ask nicely and respectfully. It's also easy to check my posts and make sure I haven't already shared said opinion. If you have a different opinion and want to have a conversation about that RESPECTFULLY I am always more than happy to do that too. But it has to be a discussion. Not just someone speaking at me, because I have no interest in participating in that kinda dialogue.

And anon, this isn't just me calling you out specifically. I get asks like your first one CONSTANTLY. And I had asked 2 people with similar types of tones in their asks of just stating things AT me the same questions I asked you. You were just the unfortunate kind person who cared to come back and give me an answer. Lol so thanks at least for returning and trying to explain your thoughts further. Hope you take my response here in the kind hearted tone I mean it to be taken in as well.

Have a good day, enjoy AYS with me when it comes out 💜💜

[taralen]

"My girl, I'm here again to continue being sweet. You know, I couldn't help but read you early. There are curious little cherubs wondering what I'm writing to you. This makes me nervous for some reason, but I like this threatening tactic, and you won't stop me from putting more dedication into my letters. You know that you are my source of inspiration. When I close my eyes, I think about how you would be in person, but a description of you is something that I can't define because perfection knows no limits, just like describing your voice, your scent, your skin... Oh God, you're so perfect that I feel insignificant. It's not because I fall into those silly clichés of others, but because when one truly loves another, there is no one else, because our souls harmonize to the tune of the birdsong to become one. Because your concerns, your anger, your needs, they are also mine. I want to learn more about you. I want to know what it feels like to share a walk through the city or a town, pampering you in the smallest detail with sweets or maybe pastries. How about something savory? Do you like being treated like a queen? Well, let me open the door to that restaurant you've been longing to go to. Sit down before I take your seat. Let me show you that I am a gentleman first and let you take the order. Laugh at my formality, but I am happy that you are there. Order whatever you want, my little angel. I am so in love and lost in your eyes that all I want is to join my lips with yours and feel like I've reached heaven. Soft and wet, it's paradise to feel this flutter in my chest. Can I touch them? With a soft and fearful movement, let me run my thumb over them because this sensation is so strong. Why do you let me do it? Not only caressing your cheek, looking into your eyes, you imprison me, you corner me, you've blinded me. My girl, come and take my hand, and let's keep walking through this city or town. We'll laugh at anything, talk endlessly until you get tired. You're ecstatic, and so am I. Don't feel bad when we have to say goodbye. There's always tomorrow and a new day to smile at. I'll kiss your hands as many times as necessary, I'll scare your pain away, and I'll be your handkerchief when your tears fall. My girl, no matter how hard it is, I love you. Together we can overcome that pain. You are strong, you are beautiful, you are a gift that no one can compare to. Can't anyone see how incredible my angel is? She can create unimaginable things that no one can appreciate like I do because she is so misunderstood by many, but for those who get to know her, they can't understand how you do it. Let's dance, my precious, let's dance again and again on this night. Hide your face in my chest, feel my heartbeats, they are for you, don't you see it? It's not a joke. What I would like most is to live in the same place, on the same street, and in your same space. My love is pure. I don't want to hurt you, just listen to what I want to tell you, just a little... Even if we never see each other or hear each other, let this beautiful memory live on of two beings who loved each other through fearless night letters."

LOVE LETTER #8 (Last One So Far)

Received this one from him less than six hours ago...

I was crying so hard through this I couldn't properly draw anymore. I'm sorry... I'm just so moved. I'm not crying from sadness but because I am so so happy.

I think it was (hilariously) a response to the playful Twitter post I made lol:

[e1ectrostatic]

30 Day Fictionkind Challenge Day 22

Q: What's something about the fictionkind community that you appreciate?

A: There are a few things I appreciate, which I'll get into under the cut 🫶.

First, I love how everyone is unabashedly themselves. Whatever I see from the community, it's always genuine self expression. Such expression also takes many different forms, such as essays, art, ask games, and many others. It's nice to see how committed the community is to getting their thoughts out there, and just being themselves and discovering themselves. I also love how encouraged it is to start dialogue or share your experience.

This is something I really needed to see. For the longest time, I was embarrassed about this part of myself, and inclined to hide it. Before finding the community, I unfortunately bought into a lot of the jokes going around about fictionkin. Like, no, "Mid-2010s kinnie Tumblr" isn't some cursed bygone trend or era — we're still here, we've been here much longer than that, and the exaggerations and parodies of the community that you're parroting aren't helpful. Because of this, I worried it was juvenile to be fictionkind, and it was "cringy" of me to feel this way. I still often feel like this among non-kin, but I'm slowly internalizing that those who would view my identity disparagingly wouldn't be worth my time anyway. I'm happy to find good examples of self acceptance within this community — it really helps one feel less alone.

I enjoy how the community is largely very inclusive. Yes, there is unneeded toxicity, but I often see pushback against that, which is heartening. I hope we can continue to foster a welcoming and inclusive community. Maybe it helps that this is already a fringe experience that gets a lot of flak from outside the community. I find a lot of misunderstood and laughed-at communities tend to be more welcoming to those seen as "cringy" or "weird".

And piggybacking off of that, I'm happy to be in a community of "weirdos". Seeing so many non-standard ways to experience humanity as well as many different ways to be nonhuman has been inspiring and insightful. I've greatly enjoyed reading peoples experiences and seeing how they pick apart identity and the concept of humanity itself. Plus, I've felt very seen and understood during my time engaging with the community, like I don't have to suppress myself. It's good to be among people I can for the most part count on not to come at me and deny who I am. Communication just feels a lot easier, too.

I also really appreciate the community's commitment to safety on and offline. Every recent alterhuman con I've attended had at least one panel on safety within the community. I also see posts on the topic being circulated. Encouraging safety on and offline is essential in any community, but especially in the alterhuman community, I think. Speaking from experience as someone who's fictionkind, it's a common desire to meet source- or canonmates. This is something that can be easily taken advantage of by bad actors, so it's refreshing to see those within the alterhuman community encourage caution and give constructive advice on how to maximize safety when interacting with others.

Finally, I love the sheer diversity of the community. I see so many fictotypes, and so many different points on the scale between canon-accurate and canon-divergent. It's nice to take in the sheer scope of the fictionkind experience. To everyone dedicated to sharing their noemata, thank you. Your contributions are greatly appreciated. And to anyone who has yet to share but wants to, go for it whenever you're ready. It can be as complex or as simple as you like. There will always be those who want to hear or see :].

That's all I have to say for this prompt, I think. You know the drill — if I think of anything else, I'll write further about it. Take care!

[lesbianslovebts]

I just had a very unpleasant experience while trying to take my mom out for Mother's Day. 🙃First, we visited Gramma in the hospital and brought her some gifts. Then we went for lunch. While we were waiting to be seated, a man was waiting for his wife and daughter. He wished us a happy Mother's Day. My mom said thanks and mentioned that we'd just come from wishing her mom a happy Mother's Day at the hospital. The man offered a hug, and my mom accepted. It lasted a little longer than one might expect for a stranger, but it was a kind gesture. My mom and I were seated at the hibachi grill first, and then the man, his wife, and his daughter joined us. We had a good time chatting. It was the kid's first time there, so she had a lot of fun.

Then the man started getting drunk(er). He talked nonstop, didn't make a whole lot of sense anymore, and then started taking pictures of his wife and daughter. And then us. He asked for our permission after already taking several of literally just me and my mom. He was holding his phone above his head, not looking at the screen, and repeatedly pressing the button with his thumb. He probably had several dozen of us at this point.

Then he got up, came all the way over to our end of the table, squatted by my mom, and kept babbling on about who knows what. He was whispering things that didn't make sense and breathing on my mom's food while she was trying to eat it. My mom discreetly squeezed my leg because she knew I was getting uncomfortable. His wife asked the server for the bill, and he takes out his credit card and flicked it at me as if to say he'd pick up our bill. I wasn't 100% sure that's what he intended, though, so I didn't say thanks yet so that he wouldn't feel obligated if I had indeed misunderstood.

Now, both my mom and I wore masks into the restaurant and took them off to eat. I finished my food first and put my mask back on, as I always do. However, he'd just come to sit next to me when I put it on, and that really upset him. Also, as he drunkenly scooted forward, he kneed me in the leg, which made me jump because I am autistic and don't do well with touch. That made him even more mad.

He told me that our bill was taken care of. I thanked him. My mom didn't hear him over the fan. He said it louder. I thanked him again. His wife said, "You paid for theirs, too?!" My mom clarified with me that he'd covered our bill, and I said yes. My mom did the whole, "Oh, are you sure? You didn't have to. I'm very appreciative, thank you" thing. But he was looking at me and said, "Take your mask off and say hi." I did not take my mask off and explained that I am immunocompromised. My mom confirmed I've always had a weak immune system. He asked her if I was on chemo. We said no. He asked if I had cancer. We said no, I just have a weak immune system. My mom repeated how surprised she was that he was kind enough to pay for our meal.

But at this point, he was clearly regretting it. He told me he didn't know why he did when I wouldn't take my mask off. Both my mom and his wife were trying to placate him while I stood my ground. He wanted a handshake. My mom shook his hand. He asked me if I would do an air handshake, and I did. Then he started telling me to listen to a certain frequency(?). He was saying a bunch of numbers that I'm sure are dogwhistles for something horrible. He told me to do some research, to look up Nikola Tesla. I knew for sure something was really off then. Then we was telling us not to let the Devil in, etc.

My mom reiterated our gratitude while his wife and daughter tried to usher him out, but he wouldn't move. My mom and I slipped off to the bathroom and then to my car. His wife apologized on his behalf in the parking lot when we passed her. As we got on the road, we talked about it, and I explained what some of his words meant. I'm not sure what all the numbers were about, and I don't remember them all, but that man literally paid for my meal and then told me to die because I'm not worthy of life. 🙃

Here's a lovely quote from Nikola Tesla:

[addictedtostorytelling]

Hello AJ, it's been a while since I've dared to write you.

I just wanted to congratulate you on the completing of your geek!baby story, which was, as the other ones you've written, delightful. I'm one of those people who firmly believes Sara and Grissom never actively wanted/tried to have a baby, but damn the gsr kid fics are *cute*.

Also I'm kinda glad the pregnancy was confirmed a single baby - nothing against twins, but to me it often feels like a cop-out when the author can't decide on boy or girl. Again, nothing against it, I get why people like it (what's better than a kid from your otp? Two kids of course)

Anyways sorry I'm rambling, here goes a random super silly question I thought of last night (at like, 3am) and wouldn't leave me alone as this things often do, just to have a bit of fun:

What animals would you associate with each member of the csi team? (like if they were animals, what'd they be based on personality, usual behavior etc)

Take care, happy very belated birthday (I forgot this year oof) and wish you a great 2024

hi, @its-a-geeks-world!

great to hear from you again!

thank you for your kind words! i'm so glad you enjoyed the story, especially knowing that you're in camp "no gsr kids." it really means a lot that you would hang with something outside your usual field of interest. 💙

i'm also glad to know you're a fan of the singleton pregnancy decision. for as much as i teased the possibility for twins (both in the fic and without it), i've known i was going to take things in this direction since before the first word of the series was written. i have such a clear notion of who grissom and sara's kid is, and i'm excited, in future installments of this 'verse, to unveil more about them!

regarding your question:

i had never given that particular hypothetical any thought before, and i don't know that i'm entirely satisfied with my own answers yet, but here's what i'm thinking as of now:

grissom is a giant pacific octopus: highly intelligent to the extent that he can use tools, solve puzzles, and even open childproof containers with his multiple limbs. infinitely curious about his surroundings and prone to experimentation. at times, precocious/cheeky. possessed of a unique style of cognition and perspective on the world. however, also frequently misunderstood and conceptualized as being "too other." considered "alien" from the human perspective and not altogether cuddly, particularly compared to other (vertebrate) animals. known for being a largely solitary creature, except for in matters of love. (fun fact: male octopuses sometimes travel great distances to find their female match.)

meanwhile, catherine is an african lioness: the feline powerhouse who keeps the pride alive and thriving, putting in the work to hunt and fend off threats (oftentimes running circles around the males in proximity to her). known for being fiercely protective of her young and aggressively defending her territory and what's hers. a highly intelligent social creature who understands nuanced dynamics between members of her pride. possessed of a hierarchal way of thinking. though open to male attention, sometimes known to drive off "deadbeat" or otherwise unacceptable options and fend for herself in their absence. capable of leadership; queen of the jungle.

warrick is a wild yak: adapted to live on unstable terrain, nothing can shake him. he's strong and solid as a rock. of all ungulates, among the most intelligent and good-natured, capable of problem solving and adapting to ever changing conditions. brought up in a matriarchal social structure with grandma in charge. incredibly loyal to the herd, though not above some occasional macho headbutting with other males he may encounter. while generally chill in temperament, relentless when protecting himself and those he cares about (and a goddamn problem for any creature foolish enough to antagonize him). for as docile as he is, he is also one of nature's toughest animals. infinitely useful. a presence in any space he enters. big-hearted, both physically—yaks need to pump more red blood cells than most animals because they live at high altitudes with low oxygen—and also in his character. known for prioritizing community.

nick is a german shepherd: specifically, a police dog (like sam). carefree as a puppy, later on traumatized in the line of his k-9 duties. disposed toward obedience and protectiveness. sometimes too well-trained and quick to heel for his own good. happiest just lovin' on people but also anxious when he doesn't have some directive to follow or task to complete. naturally goodhearted but in his later years sometimes prone to snap due to his experiences on the force. intelligent, inquisitive, eager to investigate. sometimes a little bit goofy. always sticking his nose in things. has a hard time with the command "drop it!" forms deep bonds with his people and is fiercely loyal to them. at his heart, a good boy who just wants to do right by everyone around him.

sara is a rehabilitated formerly feral cat: started out life in a house with the expectation she'd be taken care of but as a kitten was mistreated and abused until she became incredibly mistrustful of humans. eventually, ended up on the streets. had to fend for herself, scrounging to get by. survived thanks to her own cleverness and resourcefulness. then, much later on, after too long spent alone, was taken in again. became, for the first time in years, once more a housecat. at first, was wary of her would-be rescuers. skittish. spent most of her time hiding under furniture with her ears back and claws out, ready to swat anyone who dared lean in too close. bonded to only one quiet and patient person in the otherwise busy house. in time, with his coaxing, emboldened to believe again in the goodness of other people. against all odds, developed into an affectionate and participating member of the household, albeit in a still semi-aloof feline way. smart, curious, a wonderful mix of socially awkward and socially graceful, deeply bonded to her people and open with them, though still independent. above everything: you can always tell how grateful she is to finally be in a house where she's loved.

finally, greg, i am happy to report, is a ferret: pure mustelid energy. a weird, screwy noodle who is constantly investigating the world and engaging in shenanigans. notoriously goofy. playful by nature. curious to a fault and sometimes somewhat naughty when bored—inventing activities™ for himself—but also exceptionally clever and a surprisingly hard worker (when he focuses his energies and intelligence on the task). oftentimes underestimated due to his small stature but much-beloved by those who take the time to get to know him. loyal following of enthusiasts.

anyway, that's what i've got!

thank you for the fun question and also for the birthday wishes! i'm so touched that you remembered!

please feel welcome to send another ask any time!

happy 2024 to you, friend!

[sexydreamgirl]

Hi Hera my love, I haven't been on here for a while, I wrote something really lengthy I hope you don't mind, I'm so sorry about this though, I hope you get this though, I don't know if you got my last ask, because I saw you answered one but idk if you got the other one🙃 I was reading your stuff about feeling and I wrote this long ass thing about my thoughts on it😭(I wrote this before so keep that in mind Incase I just repeat what you said or if I misunderstood anything or have a bad view on anything, if so please correct me) once again I'm so sorry this is so long😭

I'm sorry in advance for all of this being so long😭😭😭 I hope you get this omg🙃

I just had an in depth talk with myself, I realized I was unconsciously albeit consciously in some way, manifested someone who I deeply feel for that's a fictional character. The realization was that this feeling I kept having was what kept me REALLY manifesting him, he makes me feel extremely happy, excited, just in love(it might seem crazy to absolutely adore a fictional character but we've all been there and if you haven't...well we're into law of assumption so anything can come true), with him, every thought I had about him was of absolutely euphoria, and I realized with that thought the feeling of euphoria always followed, it made me feel like even though he's in my head I HAVE him, I felt him, his face, his smile, his hair, him.

I have him regardless of what people say about how crazy it must be to absolutely love a fictional character, regardless of all of that. I have him, because it's like, you know when someone you love dies? Of course you mourn for them for a while but eventually you realize even though you can't feel them, touch them, they're still there, whether it be in memories, people, gifts, sentimental things, music, dreams, even if you feel like they're always there with you, in your heart and as long as you have them in your heart and actively in your mind, they're always there.

And I remember someone once telling me when I was REALLY insecure and when I used to believe God was external and not internal,

Person: "if you believe in God, pray to him, you believe he's there right?" "yes." "Then when someone tells you you're beautiful, even if you specifically cannot see it yourself, just like you acknowledge God is there, hearing, you feel him even if you can't see him, why can't you acknowledge your beauty is also there especially since others can see it?" (I remember telling you about this I think).

I feel like in some way it works with the Law as well, you're God, you can't see your power, it's like I always love saying about stretch marks(random in this ask I know), "when you have stretch marks, it's like your bodies way of not being able to contain your own beauty so it presents lightning strikes in it's wake because it's unable to completely contain the beauty you hold." The power is in you, you can't see it because you've spent most of your life acknowledging how out of control you're in, we've ALL heard that BS of "everything happens for a reason," (hell I used to say this a lot🙄) "nothing good comes without hard work," all that shit, you're not rewiring your mind when it comes to the law of assumption unless you want to call it that, you're remembering who you were always have been.

I know law of assumption isn't just about the feeling only(some people even say it's not about feeling at all), it's also about the thoughts, the mindset, the state, the method (affirming etc), but the feeling I've realized is what really makes me feel that it's real, like when I think of him I'm like wow he's so beautiful, I feel the hugs, I feel the love, so much love, I'm crying about it as I write this because that's how much love I feel, the safety he brings me, the peace I feel. So my advice to anyone who wants either SPs, an amazing life, a mansion, more, try thinking about that one thing that makes you REALLY feel, not frustration, not sadness, but happiness, love, fulfilled, for example what's one thing you can revolve your entire Desire life around? Something that makes you so happy, your heart warms up? I'll use mine for example, with him, I see everything, an amazing life, adventure, everything and even more, and when I think of him I feel those things too, I feel the happiness of having those things with him. So if for example you want financial freedom for you and your family? Imagine when you finally get that mansion, your family being happy, whatever it is that makes you the happiest, feel the most warmth in your heart, see it all in your head, then LET GO, this is still the law of assumption, do not attach yourself to this, it's not an obsession, obsessions results from a place of lack, things/people you cannot obtain so you constantly try to obtain more information or closeness to it, that's not what this is, what this is, is you realizing how happy this makes you feel and realizing, you realize that even if you feel like your thoughts may not be real(FOR THE TIME BEING) this feeling of happiness IS.

I know facts are real and not feelings, but lets be real here most of us have always felt AT ONE POINT (hopefully not anymore 👀) that the things we are manifesting now were once "impossible," so much that probably even once in our journey we said, "there's no way this is so easy." BUT IT IS, make it easy for yourself, everytime you breathe you manifest? It is done, because you said so. Everytime you feel sad, you manifest? It's done because you said so. I realized this is probably what makes a lot of people doubt themselves, when you affirm and affirm, a lot of people says "it doesn't feel real," because as they manifest they FEEL anxiety, they FEEL nervous like nothing is gonna happen, they probably trust their feelings more than their minds and I understand that because bruh I have horrible intrusive thoughts, but for some reason whenever I really FEEL something those thoughts never bother me.

We all know the statement "love is blind," because even the strongest minded person can have their feelings overtake their thoughts. A lot of people say the "state of wish fulfilled" which is a state of mind which is also a "feeling of wish fulfilled," you're ABSOLUTELY sure, completely free of anxiety, all doubt, you just feel content, happiness, peace.

Another example is when you listen to music, you're in whatever state that song presents, I'm not saying stay in this fake happiness, no that's unhealthy, don't do that, what I'm saying is if you're affirming find something that triggers an emotional response in the best way possible, if you're visualizing FEEL the things you're visualizing (which is what happens anyway), if the thing that triggers happiness is a person and you're manifesting a mansion? Show that person your mansion, show them your new amazing life, if you feel a lack when it comes to them too? Try a thing, something specific, a teddy bear you had in your childhood? You're carrying it with you and holding it.

Age regression is something that might be helpful to childhood trauma survivors(I am and I am also a pyschology major btw anyone can use this not just survivors), it can also help people who need help manifesting, go back to that childhood place, that feeling of everything is magical, everything is possible in your imagination, why do you think so many people think children/animals are more prone to seeing things like spirits(both dogs and children) and fairies(just children)? Because they're young(fun fact I included animals because animals can grow into the mindset of two year olds meaning they can learn as much as a child that is two or three years old) they have a LIMITLESS mindset, their minds aren't tainted by crappy sayings like "work hard or you're never gonna accomplish anything." They live in their head, which is what you should as well, your child self is still there, you just repressed them, whenever you're manifesting bring them out a little, that fun, happy, limitless being you've always been EVEN as a child.

-🥺💖

Again I'm sorry the length of this is😭🙃

Oh this encapsulates feeling so WELL thank you, angel!

[artist-issues]

Happy New Year, hi, it's me again! I have a pretty long ask for you and there is no pressure; I've just been thinking about the Build a Problem musical again.

I think I realized that perhaps I was confusing the idea of having Build a Problem's Emma recognize her own worth with her finding her answer in self-love. She does not, in fact, do that; she learns that because she has worth outside of others (which isn't to say that it comes from her), she can put her relationships in the proper place and even become willing to surrender them for the good of the other. I suppose now the question is how to make that delineation clearer? I'm not entirely sure how much I did wrong, but I suppose Elaine's dialogue has problematic elements.

"But anyway, you’re going to have to learn how to be by yourself. It’s not that we won’t support you–we will–it’s that you’re the constant in your life and we can’t be. And yes, it’s hard, but then you’ll remember you matter in and of yourself, even without someone else to remind you."

"You're the constant"?! HAHA NO. WE MOST DECIDEDLY ARE NOT. "You matter in and of yourself"?! DANGEROUSLY close to "your worth is not assigned and is for yourself." I'll have to figure out how best to fix that. Putting that aside, I think Emma's lesson is most apparent during her apology, which demonstrates a mentality of "if you love something, set it free; if it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with."

Also, I've seen you comment on the rise of "nothing is evil, just misunderstood" and how dangerous that can be. I do worry a bit regarding Celeste's storyline as to how I'm portraying that and where my responsibilities lie. (Even though I'm a moral absolutist, I do have a strong belief in understanding the nuance of where people come from so as to guide them to what is right. That might make me a bad absolutist, or it might...I'm not sure.) She's rather aggressive; on one instance, she pins a panicked Emma to a wall and screams at her for trying too hard to save her. I like the idea of her being too reactive and I don't really wish to tone her down! I do, however, fear that this might be irresponsible of me because I also want her and Emma to reconcile. I am not trying to encourage my audience to continue relationships with people who are outright harmful--far from it. Her ability to resume her friendship with Emma is specifically out of her own repentance and out of Emma's willingness to provide this second chance. (This contrasts Celeste's relationship with Thomas, which has to end because neither of those elements are present.) And we do see Celeste feel regret: it leads her to try and provoke Emma into leaving (this is obviously not a healthy response, but it at least serves to establish her regret), and then they sing a duet about it. It's a very fine line to walk; is there anything I should be examining to make sure I'm not going along the lines of "nothing is evil, just misunderstood"? Do I need to tone Celeste down to facilitate this?

(While we're at it, her relationship with Theo is something that warrants examination like this. He unwittingly drinks alcohol that's been disguised from authorities in an innocent-seeming bottle and winds up kissing her on impulse. They're both seen feeling guilty afterwards, though time constraints prevent a detailed examination and she states in the resulting song that she "felt more than [she] care[s] to admit." I'm not sympathetic to this and it is most certainly wrong. When we next hear directly from Theo, though, he blames himself for the more distant consequence of Thomas hurting her for it, and that's not exactly reasonable. So this is yet another fine line because while that was his greatest error and a rather weighty one at that, it was his only major one. He's otherwise characterized as very gentle, but I want his actions treated with the weight they deserve. How can I best do that? Does he need to be somehow less gentle for it to come through?)

TL;DR: Emma might have learned about her own worth as opposed to finding her answer in self-love, and this understanding of her worth enables her to let go and do the loving thing rather than act out of fear. Celeste might be too volatile and I'm confident that her actions get the weight they deserve, but I'm afraid of being irresponsible by bringing her back to Emma, even though I try to make clear that this is only possible because of sincere repentance and an offered second chance. Theo's actions might not be given the full weight they deserve because we don't see enough of him after the fact and by the time we see him again, he's swung so far in the opposite direction of loathing himself that I feel like audiences are likely to let that reaction overrule the problems with his original action. And as always, thank you for your amazing work with everything! You are wonderful and your blog is wonderful and I pray that God will bless you throughout the coming year and always!

I think I might need to read the whole musical before I could give a super-accurate rundown of the questions you’re talking about 😅 but I’ll try anyway because you were thoughtful enough to take the time to write this much out and ask me!

I think you have your head on straight with all these questions, which is really good.

For example, I think you’re totally correct about what sounds like Celeste and Emma’s reconciliation. That’s the thing; the Bible teaches that while there can be forgiveness without repentance between humans, there can’t be restored relationship or reconciliation unless both parties are willing to repent of wrongs committed and forgive the other person.

So then the question “is Celeste’s wrongdoing being treated irresponsibly if she gets back to being friends with Emma?” has a good foundation. But it seems like you’re assuming that if someone who does something wrong reconciles with the person they hurt, then the wrongdoing doesn’t seem so wrong. But that’s not true at all—you just have to show the horrible consequences of her actions convincingly during the conviction part (the moment where Celeste realizes her wrongdoing), then fix the relationship with her repentance.

I mean, take Anna and Elsa (a sister-hurting-sister scenario seems like the best one to use as a template here?) Elsa hits Anna in the heart with her ice (literally, but during a scene where she’s figuratively pushing Anna away, which has been the main source of hurt in their whole relationship.) That was Elsa’s wrongdoing. Elsa realizes how bad that was, how wrong she was, when Anna freezes in front of her. That scene is great because it shows Elsa completely devastated by what she’s done. She’s sobbing and clinging to Anna—which is important, because for the entire movie Elsa has been doing the opposite of clinging. She’s been pushing away. So right there, you see the beginnings of ‘repentance.” She caused a hurt, she sees that the hurt is bad, and she’s taking an action that is the opposite of the hurt she caused.

But remember, Anna is also, in that moment, showing Elsa unconditional, self-sacrificial love. Elsa pushed Anna away with devastating, life-threatening consequences. Because of Elsa, Anna had her heart not only frozen, but broken. And Elsa never once did anything that would make Anna believe she would change, or stop pushing her away. Yet. Anna still chose to save her, knowing it would mean dying. Elsa did nothing to deserve it. Elsa did not indicate to Anna that Anna’s act of good will would change her. Anna simply did it with no thought of gain, with no hope of a better relationship afterward, because she loves Elsa regardless of the hurt caused.

It is important that Elsa sees that. Because seeing unconditional love is often what forces humans to realize the weight of their wrongdoing. Because unconditional love is so the opposite of whatever they did wrong. So it often unlocks the wrongdoer’s ability to repent.

Basically, what I’m saying is, as long as you show not only the audience, but Celeste herself, the horrible consequences of her wrongdoing and the hurt that it caused, and show it convincingly, (which often takes the wrongdoer realizing the unconditional love or innocence of the person they hurt,) then you won’t need to worry about whether or not that wrongdoing was considered “absolutely evil.”

Of course Elsa pushing Anna away and freezing her heart was the wrong thing to do. Anna’s frozen now. Elsa can’t do anything to undo what she’s done. It’s too late for her to be clinging to Anna.

and THEN

like a beautiful sunrise bursting through clouds

You show how love is stronger than evil. You show how self-sacrifice is love. You show how, when both people are repentant and willing to forgive because of that self-sacrificial love, the wrongdoing isn’t stronger than the love.

After all, that’s the whole point of showing evil—to defeat it. Sometimes you defeat it by punishing the unrepentant wrongdoer. Sometimes you defeat it’s effect by making the wrongdoer repentant. But either way, the evil isn’t stronger than the good.

Moving on

I don’t think it sounds like Theo needs to be less gentle for the weight of his actions to come through. I think his gentleness actually could highlight how wrong his actions were. Because if he’s got feelings under the surface of gentleness, which alcohol caused him to act on, then that puts the gentle surface in a less-moral light. Kissing her on an alcohol-influenced basis wasn’t the first thing he did wrong. The first thing he did wrong was let those feelings he had for Emma stay alive deep down inside him, even if they were buried—he shouldn’t have buried them, because then something like alcohol could dig them up. He should’ve killed them. The second thing he did wrong was be unwise and lack selfless introspection: the idea is that he knew somewhere that he had those feelings, and hadn’t killed them yet, and THEN let himself be in a situation alone with Emma, makes his “gentleness” seem even more like a facade. You can make clear, in some way, that the alcohol isn’t what created the wrong. It just brought it to the surface.

People who have feelings for someone who does not belong to them, but is already on some level promised to someone else, should not let those feelings linger or stick around. That is wrong. Unrequited “love” stops being loving and starts being a wrong thing to feel when you learn that it is unrequited. Entertaining a romantic feeling for someone, in any way, after you know that you can’t serve that person with those romantic feelings, is wrong. Theo should’ve killed those feelings or, if that was too hard, removed temptation by setting up boundaries. Not being alone in a room with Emma; not getting into deep personal discussions where one heart can speak to the other heart with Emma; not letting Emma talk about Thomas (her boyfriend?) in a negative way around him, etc.

But…maybe I’m misunderstanding him? I’d have to know more about the character.

I mean, it’s fine if the character is so non-introspective that he never realized he wanted to kiss Emma before alcohol brought it up. But. It was still wrong. Because introspection is not just the right thing to do for yourself, but the right thing to do when your goal is to have selfless relationships with friends, family, and lovers alike. Anyway.

The point is, no, I don’t think you need to make Theo any less gentle. I think you should make it subtly clear that Theo has a problem with carelessness. (I actually have a friend who/s biggest character flaw is this.) It’s all well and good to be a dude who is happy, sweet, would never intentionally harm anybody or get between his friends…but if you never intentionally prevent yourself from harming anybody, by doing the work to look at how you could actively care for someone (think about doing what’s best for them, which would’ve led him to avoid being alone with Emma) then you’re careless. You’re sweet, and you’re kind, and you’re not meaning to hurt, but…that’s your problem, because you’re also not meaning to do much of anything. You’re coasting along through your relationships with no careful thought, just assuming vaguely good intentions and an even vaguer “sweetness” vibe will be enough to keep you and your friends out of trouble.

You could do that by characterizing him carefully even before the kiss scene. Have him make jokes in large group of friends, and everybody laughs, and clearly he’s not meaning to hurt anybody, but the girl he slings his arm around when he says it is clearly offended by the joke…and Theo doesn’t notice. Have him walk into a serious conversation between two or three of his friends, and then try to “lighten the mood,” when clearly what his friends probably needed more was for him to take what they’re talking about seriously, and join in. If there’s ever a scene where everybody’s at a dance party, have him dance really spazzy to try and make one awkward person laugh—but he’s not being careful of his surroundings and accidentally elbows somebody in the face. You know. Little characterization traits that show the audience, “this is Theo, he’s a sweet guy, but he’s a little careless, needs to learn to be introspective and intentional.” Then when he kisses Emma, you’ve subtly built this up: Theo would never try to cause trouble between Emma and Thomas, but he also isn’t careful enough to not try to cause trouble between Emma and Thomas.

I don’t know if that’s helpful, I don’t know the characters well enough.

As for the big main question, with what allows Emma to stop acting out of fear—I still think making her own “worth” the thing is going to be a little too tricky for you without establishing where she gets that idea of “worth” from. It can’t come from others, so where’s it coming from? I would avoid that idea altogether, but that’s just me. Maybe you can figure a way around it.

I would simply replace the motive of fear with a new understanding of what unconditional love for others looks like. She’s not willing to sacrifice because she knows her WORTH—in fact, she’s not thinking about her worth, or her safety, or her security, at all—because she’s entirely stopped thinking of herself. She’s just thinking of them.

But again…it’s hard to explain why or how she goes from thinking about herself to thinking more of others. You do need a catalyst in there that causes her to make the switch. Don’t know if this helps!

[sapphire-weapon]

Hey, I'm the original 25 y/o anon and respectfully, I feel that you may have misunderstood my ask. The comparison to narcissism is a bit uncalled for, though maybe that wasn't your intention. I don't 100% agree with everything you've said, but I do understand where you've come from. I do still firmly believe that no, there is no official timeline. That's silly in my eyes. Not everyone is handed the same deck with the same privileges, experiences and opportunities. Everybody also faces curveballs too and many of them. Does that mean that they can't achieve happiness and make the best of themselves, despite arriving later to things compared to their more privileged peers? No, of course not. I've done the work and proven that to myself this year. Despite the poverty and years of trauma, I'm finally going to college to study something I'm deeply passionate about and learning to value myself and seek out healthier relationships. I'm my own evidence to prove that life doesn't have to become jaded and meaningless, just because age may be unconventional accoridng to stereotypes and capitalism. With respect, I'm sure you weren't intending to invalidate others nor throw out insults! I'm sorry to hear about your friend and her issues with having children. That's a very unfortunate thing to happen to her and I hope she finds fulfilment elsewhere if necessary, I just wanted to clear up any misunderstandings if there were any and I wish you a wonderful weekend. I really enjoy your blog and RE takes + information! Thanks for taking so much time to answer questions for newer fans.

Also, just to add, I don't accept being painted as naive. My life has been LONG lol and I've learned a lot the hard way. I am an experienced adult, but I may have wrongly misinterpreted you too! No hard feelings at all, just clearing the air and I hope I haven't accidentally brought negativity to you or your ask box, it wasn't my intention. Just wanted to share my new found lease on life, which I think everyone is deserving of.

So, just as like a blanket statement: if I'm responding to an ask, I'm only directly addressing the asker. My "it's narcissistic" comment wasn't meant to retroactively apply to you -- only to the person who left the ask implying that having a worldview that's anything other than "you can do anything at any point" is pessimistic.

In truth, I don't know why you sent the original ask or what you were responding to, because I've long since made peace with where I'm at in life and the opportunities I've missed, which is why I only talked about the saying in a general sense instead of having a more pointed conversation.

The "no official timeline" thing is something that I think is good to have in the back of your mind when you're looking in retrospect/reflecting on your life. It's not a good thing to carry around with you pre-emptively. "So you got to shit later than society thinks is normal lmao w/e who cares, you did the thing and that's what matters" is way different from "You don't have to do this right now, fuck it, there's no official timeline" -- and the latter is the mindset that I was addressing. It does encourage learned helplessness by reinforcing someone's avoidant tendencies. That's why I don't like people reaching for that as a platitude by default.

And that's also why I made it a point to say I was using a generalized, ubiquitous "you" in my response to your original ask -- because I don't know your story, so I wasn't responding/can't respond to your situation specifically. All I could do/did do was respond to the impulse to tell someone "don't worry about it, you don't need to do a thing right now."

My response to that will always be: If not now, when? And if there's actual barriers to entry for a thing, my follow-up question will be: Are you making a good faith effort to break through those barriers, or are you just building up a wall of excuses that you can hide behind and feel safe?

I will always encourage someone to act rather than wait, because I have watched too many dreams fall apart and had too many friends get saddled with regret as a result.

I don't really wanna eat up any more real estate on my blog with this stuff, though.

[nerosdayinanime]

I know I wasn't the person that originally asked about Giyuucore songs but that post caught my interest because you mentioned a lot of songs and some of my favorites👀

I'd really like to hear your thoughts on Gilded Lily! I've seen it taken in a couple different contexts online but idk anyone that listens to it. After Dark is another banger but I never considered thinking of it as Giyuucore. the same thing with Little Dark Age talk about blorbo, think about blorbo :)

also I listened to The Mute and The Missing Road for the tag you left on my one drabble and 😭 i see it so clearly with how so socially awkward little blorbo is

usually i think of my music taste as mainstream but not like. Popular mainstream yk? usually at least, since i started only really using spotify it kinda just Sticks with popular... (i just think the music i listen to its pretty all over the place) anyway-

Gilded Lily got me from the chorus haven't i given enough? giyuu gives his all yet still all the shit that happens to him and the people he loves... with him in mind the lyric reads as more a polite way of asking higher powers 'havent you taken enough from me?' yk?

always the fool with the slowest heart hes always behind his peers and misunderstood, negative feedback loop of hiding further in himself and straying further behind

but i know youll take me with you when he loves he gives a piece of himself, so when they're lost they take a piece of him with them i know ill take you with me the haori he so dearly cares for

we'll live in spaces between walls how ghosts are respected as existing in a third place, the border between life and death- how giyuu does something similar, as close as a ghost you can get without death- hes treats himself the same as the ghosts that haunt him

last lyric for gilded lily is manga spoliers and iirc youre an anime-only, so ill keep that one under wraps lmao

-------

After Dark is all dreams and broken memories, the echo-y voice and faraway sound of the piano all tinged with melancholy (probably shoulda put it with the sabigiyuu playlist lmao)

i see you, you see me - how pleasant, this feeling - the moment you hold me - i missed you, im sorry - ive given what I have - i showed you I'm growing - the ashes fall slowly - as your voice consoles me only alive in his dreams, the reprieve of being in sabito's arms hurts from its fleeting nature. his chance at trying to right his wrongs of being too weak, a demon's dying ashes as proof, sabito's voice (a faded memory of, distorted with unfamiliarity) telling him he doesnt need to prove himself of anything

as the hours pass - i will let you know - that i need to ask - before I'm alone - how it feels to rest - on your patient lips  - to eternal bliss - im so glad to know the false feeling of lips against his, only as good as a dream gets. (he knows it isnt real, it doesnt feel real, its heaven nonetheless) a kiss that never happened, never will happen, hes just happy to have known him at all (even if the memories are so painful)

we're swaying to drum beats - in motion, im feeling - my patience controlling - the question, i wont speak two hearts in sync as their sword swings, giyuu always holds his tounge until the perfect moment (a perfect moment doesnt exist)

we're telling the stories - our laughter, he knows me - we're leaving, we're talking - youre closer, it's calming reliving faded memories- happy times and the march to their shared grave. the impeding dread of Knowing simmers to an empty lull when their hands brush as they walk

the night will hold us close and the stars will guide us home - ive been waiting for this moment, we're finally alone - i turn to ask the question, so anxious, my thoughts a calm rest with another painful dream of a man that doesnt exist

your lips were soft like winter, in your passion, i was lost their lips meet, painfully cold and oh so dead against his, only for a moment. he opens his eyes to the crystal clear memory of the determined fire behind rounded eyes before he turned. white haori disappearing to the forest, vision blurred, red trailed down his face, what was he supposed to do now?

-------

Little Dark Age is super gloomy and sorta like. corrupted church vibes. idk how to explain that. the tone of voice singing keeping the note flat (except in the chorus) the background music echoing itself it just overall reminds me of devilman crybaby's corrupted demonic vibe. Smells Blood(kensuke ushio). dvmcb has a more Taken And Run By Evil/Satan kinda vibe whereas little dark age is more God Left Us

the lyrics are a narration, his own thoughts and feelings he never speaks aloud but says if you listen close enough.

the ruins of the day, painted with a scar dont need to explain that one

and, the more i straighten out, the less it wants to try the amount of willpower it takes him to just keep going

oh-oh, forgiving who you are, for what you stand to gain - just know that if you hide, it doesnt go away/i grieve in stereo, the stereo sounds strange - you know that if it hides, it doesn't go away self-narration, how much he still hurts despite hardening his heart against it all

when you get out of bed, dont end up stranded - horrified. with each stone. on the stage - my little dark age stranded in the stagelight, stone upon stone tied to him always weighing him down

specifically ties with the other lyric- come find us heading for the bridge, bring a stone, all the rage, my little dark age he thinks he deserves it, peoples hatred and anger at his failure, he ties the stones himself

if I get out of bed, you'll see me standing all alone, horrified, on the stage, my little dark age all of this song ties specifically to this one imagery i have of sabito and giyuu and hashira overall- theyre the ones that bare the light that destroys demons. with their strength they cast shadows for other slayers and innocent people to hide behind, still safely in the light but not being burned by it as they are.

Giyuu and Sabito were supposed to bare that light together, strengthened by eachother casting shadows where the other's weakest and baring the burn with eachother side by side, they were supposed to cast a shadow large enough to shield everyone they cared for, to not lose everyone they love again.

this line was the start of it all- waking up alone on the stage being wholly burned by the light with no respite. the blinding light instead signaling his little dark age

also yeah!!! the self-isolating, lonely theme of those songs is literally just Him. it speaks for itself so clearly i dont even know how i could explain it to someone who knows giyuu but doesnt understand how The Mute & The Missing Road relate to him. its just. Its Him man. you gotta believe me. if you only listen with your ears, i cant get in - and a heart always holds, onto missing roads MAN CMON ITS RIGHT THERE-

[koocycle]

Hey, love! I absolutely enjoyed reading Over Wine <3 When it comes to fanfictions, drama series, and other forms of entertainment, I'm a sucker for marriage angst. It's a lot more enjoyable when it is written very well 😉.

Your writing style is what I always look for because it just really brings the characters to life. So many writers focus in making the male lead a flawless person for the sake of fan service, which to be honest I find to be so tedious to read, not to mention their cringy dialogues. I'm so glad there are still some writers like you that gives their characters so much personality and is able to show some of the overlooked realities of marriage.

I do respect a writer's free will to mold their characters based on their own beliefs, but I do feel a great sense of admiration to those like you who evidently puts so much time and effort in your works and most importantly isn't afraid to write a lead character that has a reflection of a real person. Fanfiction writers, well, writers in general, should not solely build their character's personality on the fandoms' romanticized view of the celebrity, but also on the reputation of the real individuals who they share the same role with. Can I just say, I'm delighted that you didn't wrote him as the typical misunderstood husband and make it appear that the female lead was the only one at fault.

As I finished reading the first chapter, which is also the first work of yours that I've ever read, I immediately have high expectations towards your next chapters and I'm confident you won't disappoint! You know how to pace your story and immerse your readers in certain scenes. When Y/N learned about Jungkook's promotion, I almost felt the way her blood froze. By the way, I love how you played with the element of suspense at that scene. And although I enjoy reading angsty scenes, I still am weak to the intimate interactions of the characters, both their sex scenes and display of affections and vunerability towards each other. I'm quite curious how you're going to build the leads' character development.

Do take your time in completing Chapter 2, art should never be rushed ☺️. Oh and do forgive my grammar, English isn't my first language and I just really wanted to express my satisfaction towards your writing. Do you mind adding me to your taglist?

oh my god this was written so beautifully for me i can’t thank you enough 🥹🥹 i nearly cried reading this because really, you touched my heart with this one

marriage angst always hits bulls eye for me and i’m so happy to hear it does the same to you! really, you saying you enjoy my writing style so much to the point that you feel like it brings characters to life is a huge compliment, and you don’t know how much encouragement that brings me!! and i’m so glad you found admiration in the writing of jungkook! he was definitely something else to write and no, not always had i agreed with the things i made him say or do, but i feel like that’s what made him so fun to write!

thank you for the reviews on that particular scene, it was actually my favorite to write! (i always LOVE reading reviews on specific scenes) you make me all warm and giddy on the inside thank you bby 🤍 i’m adding you right now. your english is flawless!

[kimium]

Hi friend💜 I would love to hear something happy today, do you have any favourite ships or cute fic ideas you want to ramble about right now?💜💜

Love you tons

Aw, thanks friend! Thanks for the ask! I love your questions and I'm going to answer both parts. Please note I will have massive spoilers for everything. This is also long, so it's under a cut.

Let's start with my favourite ships!

Favourite ships

I have many ships but I want to talk about some I haven't talked about lots.

Fai/Kurogane (Tsubasa)

Where do I even begin with this ship? From moment one these two were set up as character foils. Fai's design is light, airy, and full of whites and blues. He's tall, lean, and built like a dancer. He smiles a lot, is friendly, and enjoys light teasing. There is an elegance to him, almost as if he's a breeze personified and equally as difficult to catch.

Kurogane's design is heavier, grounded, and full of blacks and reds. He's muscular, built, and moves like a lion: graceful but full of power and strength. He scowls, comes off as prickly, and hates teasing. He's the quiet but brutal strength of a hunter taking down its prey.

This is where CLAMP could have stopped, really. This is a clear blue/red ship. But they didn't. Instead they went the extra steps to completely and utterly separate Fai and Kurogane's ideals, morals, philosophies, and perspectives on life. And see, that's what utterly rips my soul apart regarding these two as a ship: they both complete and utterly destroy one another.

I will never, ever forget the moment when Yuuko reveals the cost of Kurogane's wish to save Fai. The dead, cold look Fai gives Kurogane before showing the reader, for the first time, the hollowness of his smile. Then, the line, "Good morning, Kurogane" absolutely destroys me. With a single line of dialogue, CLAMP showed how their relationship will never be the same again. Their dynamic haunts me even years after finishing reading the series.

Tohru/Kyo (Fruits Basket)

First, Fruits Basket is my favourite shoujo series of all time. If I was asked, I'd go on a full rant about the entire series.

Anyways, Tohru/Kyo is a ship I love with all my heart and soul because of one core message it presents: No one can entirely fix you, some of the work has to be your own. Both Tohru and Kyo come with so much baggage they're practically a cargo ship before the series even starts. Yet, through the series neither Tohru and Kyo entirely "fix" one another. They support, listen, and care for one another, but there is never the message "I will fix you" presented. Both Tohru and Kyo have issues they need to work out on their own and problems they both ignored until they couldn't any longer.

And none of the solutions were presented as "I need the other to save me". Rather, the solutions are "You helped me find the courage to face this problem and while I am scared, I will do it. After, I know you will be there to continue supporting me".

This is why they are such a great ship and why this series is one of my favourites.

Haruka/Michiru AKA Sailor Uranus/Sailor Neptune (Sailor Moon)

There are a lot of reasons why I like this ship. To start, even as a child I -knew- something was up and they were NOT cousins. Next, they're a power couple. That episode in the original anime where they go to that "couple's" competition and effortlessly win? They're not just in love, they're basically soulmates.

However, I think I'll sum up why this is one of my favourite ships with one line "Oh, it seems you misunderstood... a world without Haruka isn't worth saving".

Look, this was the 90s. "Good" and "Bad" characters were usually pretty straightforward. This line here though? That's one of the most morally ambiguous lines from a character that's supposed to be "good" in any series I've watched. Neptune (Michiru) would rather watch the world burn than to lose Haruka (Uranus). That's Homura's "I'm going to make the world burn and people die just so I can have Madoka with me" Devil mode that didn't come out until 2011. Sailor Moon threw this absolute BANGER of a line in (I believe) season 5 which aired in 1996.

Cute Fic Ideas

I don't have too many "cute" ideas, but here are a few:

-I want to write a Twisted Wonderland fic where the staff of NRC dote on Yuu.

-Maybe a very soft Yuu/Everyone fic? Not too sure since I don't want to write a heavy "shipping" fic with Yuu.

-An actual good timeline Shouichi fic. I know, it's shocking. I want to write another Outsider POV fic or a very confused Shouichi being dragged clothing shopping by Kikyo.

-There is some sort of follow up to my Kitsune!Komaeda marries ordinary Hajime fic that I should probably write. Maybe touching on Munakata's offer of immortality. Really, this entire series is one you think I'm done and then I surprise everyone.

And uh... that's it. Sorry, I can't think of more, though there probably are more. I have ideas but they don't fit the "cute" category... (and one of those is a Shouichi fic. I'm sorry...)

[thebreakfastgenie]

I am sending this on anon because I’m not sure how you’ll take this but if you’re open to a discussion about it I can PM you also. Also I know it was a reblog but I am sending this to you rather than OP as I do not follow OP.

The post you reblogged about feminism, gender studies and trans people really rubs me the wrong way. The idea that “dudes” need feminism because they think being trans means they understand gender could be interpreted in a few ways that I can see and none of them are good. Maybe there’s another way that I am missing. Either it is misgendering trans women and suggesting that they need feminism because they think just being trans means they understand gender (with the implication being that they are wrong, and need to learn feminist theory to set them straight) or it is implying that trans men need feminism because they think they understand gender as they are trans (and the only implication I can draw from this is that if they knew more about feminism, which is for women and not for trans men, that they might just be women?? I hope this is not what this is implying.)

There are a LOT of different branches and ideology within “feminism”; not all of which have historically been inviting or comfortable for trans people of any gender or assigned gender at birth. The idea that trans people need feminism is a loaded statement that could be championing feminism as a political ideology that is inviting of all gender minorities or it could be a veiled insult.

Cis feminists have done a lot for a lot of causes including trans rights and especially for the political successes and social understanding of women. However, I think it’s troubling at best to suggest that feminist theory is going to be better at understanding gender than trans people.

If you think I’ve misunderstood something here or that there is something that I’ve overlooked that would provide different context I am open to hearing it. Alternatively if you would like to discuss my views more please let me know.

Well, I think the context you're missing is OP's bio. I'm the biggest advocate of checking bios not being required on tumblr, and please don't take this as a criticism, but if I were in your shoes I would definitely try to get that context for myself if something rubbed me the wrong way.

OP is a trans nonbinary butch lesbian.

I'm happy to discuss this with you more, but I think that by itself changes the context significantly, so I want to give you a chance to revise your points.

I will add a little bit about why I reblogged it. I have been thinking a lot lately about how in certain spaces, feminism is almost treated as something that's solved. This has led to things like a long twitter thread satirizing deadnaming trans people by writing a hypothetically situation about a married cis woman who didn't take her husband's last name. The situation was meant to be blatantly absurd, but the OP did not seem to realize that it was literally reality for women who keep their own names. I've also seen tumblr users assert that cis women don't experience oppression because of their gender and while I can take that in good faith and assume they were talking about kinds of gender related oppression that are specific to trans people, the blanket statement was still incorrect.

This intersected with another thing I've been thinking about a lot, which is people, many of who were raised with conservative beliefs, coming out as queer and thinking the work ends there. No one is automatically an expert on gender because of their identity. That's what I resonated with in that post. Trans people don't inherently understand the structural hierarchies at play in a patriarchal society. They often have unique insights because of the way they experience those systems, but that doesn't mean they don't need to consciously think about feminism. We all do.

That post doesn't mention feminist theory and I wasn't thinking about any school of feminism or particularly about theory. I was thinking about, truly, the very basics, which are increasingly lost.

[zoeysdamn]

Lygos project [repost of older work]

3 years back I did a little fanart project to illustrate some of my mental disorders. The goal was to help me retrospect a lot of things, but also in a pure artistic research purpose. I recently came across those fanarts once again, and even if the project is now 3 years old I still think it's pretty good, and still something I have a deep emotional connection to. So I've decided to repost the fanarts here, I hope you'll enjoy them as much as I did creating them. TW: mention of mental illnesses, of su!cide, blood and body dismorphia - be cautious

I. Su!cide attempts Considering taking your own life is never an easy thing. It shouldn't be, for the resolution itself already reflects a dramatic situation in one's life. There is many ways to fulfill this sorrowful goal, but none is easier than another, believe me. I tried to die ; cutting myself, taking pills, drowning myself ; putting myself in dangerous situations in purpose. I don't exactly regret any of those times, but I deeply regret that I didn't seek for help before every new attempts.

II. Body dysmorphia Body dysmorphia is quite paradoxically one of my struggles I've both acknowledged quite recently and suffered from it for years. Many causes are to be taken accountable for it: long years of school bullying, society's unrealistic standards in term of women's beauty, family comments, etc. I grew up hearing from a lot of people that I was ugly, fat, physically unlovable. But as no one said otherwise...the child I was grew up with the idea it was true. The sole and only truth. I wasn't enough, my body isn't enough, such as I'm still sometimes not even able to look at me in the mirror. Not because I think I'm ugly; because the mere thought of this body and the fact I'm trapped in it is unbearable some days. That leads me to some toxic habits; self-sabotaging, starvation, bullimia phases, self hate. I try to go beyond all of that, to try to love my body, not only on esthetic matters. But even if sometimes I look at pictures from 2 or 3 years ago and think I'd kill to have this body, I don't recall a single time when I was happy in it. That is what body dysmorphia feels like.

III. Depression It isn't always easy to realize you have mental struggles, and it can be quite scary to put words on it, especially depression. This word holds so many weight and meaning, often misunderstood and misinterpreted by society. For many years I've refused to admit I was having mental health issues or depression and refused to go on therapy because of society's opinion about it. I was so afraid to be labeled as the crazy one, or be judged because I needed psychological treatment. I often feel like I'm trapped in some unknown and numbing feeling that push me deep into nothingness. Sometimes, restless voices attacks my mind night and day with every dark thought I might have nursed. Depression is at some point feeding every other mental illness I face. This might be the longest fight I'm gonna face.

IV. Self-sabotaging It's strange to realize that I'm sometimes my greatest enemy in term of healing. If I could have an exterior look at myself, I'd wonder why I'm seemingly not doing any efforts to improve my mental health. I'm not doing this on purpose. Even though I hate myself as much as I want to love me, Self-sabotage habits seems to be out of my control. Starvation ; periodic insomnia ; isolation ; not speaking up or daring to ask anything because I don't wanna be a burden. This is my everyday life. Sometimes it's soothing, although it's also crushing my heart, because it feels like it protects me for a while. But deep down I know this habits are unhealthy. Still, I have to go with them on the road of healing, and it won't be any easier even if I try to fight them.

V. General Anxiety & Hypersensitivity I don't know which one started first, but it's feeding each other constantly. Anxiety is making my thoughts running non-stop in my head, amplifying their importance, and hypersensitivity is making it even worse. It's like I never have a quiet moment inside my mind ; ensures insomnia, over-thinking, a dash of paranoia even. Anything that touches me personally can't be rationalized, because it always takes gigantic proportions in my head and making the anxiety even harder. This feels like my heart and my feelings are always raw and vulnerable, naked to the hurricane of the world I'm under the impression of facing.

VI. Hanahaki disease When flowering plants grow in lungs of people who experience unrequited or one-sided love. Although it's a poetic way to illustrate it, this kind of struggle is very much real and painful. Unrequited love is never a funny thing, even if there's ways to live with it ; as a friend, as a part of someone's life, or simply as someone who respects another's choice. More than often, people who have Hanahaki disease are perfectly conscious of the one-sided aspect of their love, and choose to keep it untold to the loved one. It is a kind of self-sacrifice that put the love.d one.s' happiness before their own, and trust it I know everything about that. Hanahaki disease does not only apply to romantical interest, I think. It can also be the case in friendship ; that, I also know about. I tend to love hard. To have seldom such feelings, but strong ones when I do. I used to be mocked and bullied when I was a kid because word spread I was in love with someone at school. Although it wasn't true, I didn't understood why loving someone was so shameful. It wasn't even about who I supposedly loved, it was just it: love was something I was bullied and abused about. So I grew up hiding my feelings, giving the impression I found love gross and that I had no interest in it. But deep inside my feelings for people dear to me bloomed strong ; and as for today I don't know how to express them. So I may have missed some chances, who knows. I'm still currently having this kind of unrequited love, both on friendly and romantic scale ; but I guess that's alright. As long as they're happy, my own pain doesn't seems to much to bare. It is not a mental health issue per se, and that's why I've wanted to end the Lygos project with it. Even if you're struggling with something that is not considered as illness, you can express yourself. You have every right to fight and say what makes you feel better.

Note: once again, this project and the texts are 3 years old. I was in a very dark, concerning place then. I'm doing better today, still healing but definitely in a better mental health than then. Should any of you need to talk about the mental struggles you're facing, both my DMs and my asks are open. You're not alone in this ♥

[Instagram art page] [International mental health hotlines]