#also i'm back
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Guys i got so fucking sunburnt dude Is this what Jeff the kill felt like
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no i don't work out to be buff actually i work out to be strong enough that my friends feel safe when i hold them. i work out to be able to be solid enough that when i hug them i can hug them tight enough that for just a second it feels like no one can hurt them. i work out so when their voice is shaking and they're afraid i can stand behind them and be solid enough to make my presence count. i work out so i can pick up large dogs and climb tall trees and carry bags for the people i love and help the mom in the supermarket lift heavy things and above all, above all, to create a presence that invites people in rather than scaring them away.
sometimes it feels pointless and sometimes my goals seem far away but anything can be an act of love if you do it right and i want my strength to be used for protection and affection more than anything else it could be used for
#gym#gymmotivation#workout#love#late night thoughts#ramblings#just for me#ignore me#rambles#just thoughts#thinking a lot about the love inherent in everyday actions and i just#love really is everywhere#you just have to know where to look#poetry#dead poets' society#poetic thoughts#late night rambles#also i'm back#i know i've been gone for a long long time#but here i am again#dead poets society#writers#history#books & libraries
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I strip naked when I poop
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Hi! I saw your old reply regarding Alicia's baby. I'm rewatching season 3 and to me it seems pretty obvious that only Julio can be the father based on the timeline. It's emphasized many times during the season that she was "not doing her marital duty" for months. She even confesses to J when she does sleep with D, and there're indications of the pregnancy during even the middle of the season (running out to vomit). But J&A are shown meeting up in the secret room in the middle of the nights...
Oh, yeah, even if there's no way to 100% confirm it, I really do tend to think Julio is the father, too...I remember when I first saw that episode and the floppy-haired little boy for the first time, I was like, "Aw, baby Julio." It was just after that that I thought that Diego was still technically a possibility, but your points here are good ones.
Thank you for the ask! I love to talk about this show...drop by any time!
#northpost#asked and answered#gran hotel#anon#julio olmedo#alicia alarcón#diego murquía#alicia and diego#julio y alicia#also i'm back#for as long as i have some free time i am back#and it's all the same shows with the queue set to run#there are literally no surprises here#if what you want is velvet gran hotel felicity hacf 12 monkeys revenge downton the last kingdom the catch and the killing#then you are in one of the right places for that
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every overthinker should have someone to fuck them stupid
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OMG SOMEONE I FOLLOW ON BLUESKY JUST FOLLOWED ME BACK!!!!
LOOK!!!
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I really don't care where we end up as long as we're together.
#in the far future; an old lady who looks suspiciously like me: 'and for my 25th birthday my buddy mike gave me garashir canon'#the random stranger next to me: 'ok grandma lets get you back to bed'#trekedit#lower decks#ds9#garashir#startrekedit#lowerdecksedit#ds9edit#star trek#star trek lower decks#star trek deep space nine#lower decks spoilers#tvedit#also: updated cameos gifset is in the works 😭 but at this rate i expect the entire tng cast next ep so I'm gonna wait for that obv
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to anyone missing my writing please know i am also missing my writing
#about me#long span depression episode#plus tired#plus family issues#I'm looking after myself but I do miss just being able to get the words down#writing#right now I am also ill so that sucks#but hey#got an autism diagnosis a few months back which explains so much#oh god 10k notes
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#silco#silco arcane#jinx and silco#my art#please don't repost#hello ? episode 2 ??? helooo???#i want to say i'm gonna miss him but im delulu#so i'll keep drawing him lmao#also sevika my love i need to draw that fantastic arm#“how could someone put these holes in you”#i need a full minute#he's going back to the water#shark food until the end#actually i'm gonna need 5-7 business days#arcane spoilers#arcane season 2#arcane s2#arcane season two
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the h in nhl stands for homoerotic
bonus intricate rituals:
#this is my new fave live game :')#chiarot tried to scruff sid and my precious gigantic baby son drew said: NO!!!!!!#also it is my duty as a crazy sid/ek fan to say that after sid was freed from the box and was later back on the bench#ek who was still on ice circled back and skated towards him#and tenderly held him by the chin and said something to him (sweet dirty nothings i'm sure)... sid giggled like a schoolgirl about it#anyway. again a very good game for me sid/ek-wise#ek with his arms open waiting for his victory prize aka sid barrelling into him after the otgwg and keeping his face pressed close...#sidney crosby#pittsburgh penguins#ben chiarot#detroit red wings#again#long post#hockey#nhl#sports#GAY#SO GAY
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can't believe that skeleman has turned on us, and Halloween Prom is tomorrow.
(what a top-tier UM...we are about to be just totally obliterated in the absolute silliest way. what possible use could this power have outside of bringing us to the brink of utter holiday disaster.)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#unique magic posters#this was so unforseeable!#i hope malleus gets pumpkinified immediately and sebek has to carry him around on a little velvet cushion#i hope jade puts his plant knowledge to good use by being extremely judgy about the firmness of everyone's rind#i hope that everyone is still wearing their silly little hats as pumpkins#(i know they won't. but if we don't have hope we have nothing.)#and i'm still feeling like oogie's gotta show up later and menace jamil just by existing#perhaps we'll have to team up against him with the scullsman or something 👀#also just to get it out before being proven entirely wrong#my theory is still that he's from the past and we gotta teach him about the True Meaning of Halloween (aka candy and funtimes)#so he can go back to his own time and become the founder of modern-day candy and funtimes halloween or something#bootstrap paradox be damned#i could be entirely off-base but that's what i'm thinking right now#idk he just has the vibe of an old-timey boy to me#he's had the great misfortune of being born before there were hot topics where he could meet other jack skellington fanatics#too late for the black plague too early for the black parade 😔
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Someone's last crush didn't live up to the hype 😬
#yes fyodor literally called dazai by name a second ago what of it#WHY did he say it like that!! ''atsushi i'm going home to sleep come with me 😘'' WHAT#i don't even know if this should count as ship art it reads more like fyodor's obsession with dazai grasping at straws to bounce back#up next: fyodor's past flirting with natsume TRUST dazai was the also a bounceback bf#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd fanart#bsd spoilers#bsd manga spoilers#bsd 119#bsd atsushi#bsd nakajima atsushi#bsd fyodor#bsd fyodor dostoyevsky#nawy's comics#i tried to get something out of this comic but i have so much trouble being funny these days i'm so dissatisfied with everything😔
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dinosaur in a lab coat - would you trust her with operating the centrifuge
#my art#oc#mockley#anthro#furry#dinosaur#i like the headshot especially so i'm including it too#unintentional redraw of the mockley ref from back in may. this is the natural mockley pose i guess - this is her official render#so i included the symbolism thing again with some slight edits#grhaggh i love her i'm ripping her to pieces with my mind.....my doddery old bint#okay i've got a lot to do tonight. why i did this today of all days i don't know but for people who want art from me#keep yer eyes peeled#also i'm gonna also use this for oc-tober. lol#for the monster prompt. mockley's a monster...literally to us and more metaphorically in her universe#also for ages i was trying to make mockley's species a dinosaur but like evolved. different and weirder#now i'm like embracing full dinosaur i'm too tired to make up a new species i can't....i surrender
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"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.
but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)
mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…
the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.
every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.
first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic
which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.
which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.
the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.
walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?
well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.
you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?
it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.
when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.
and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.
kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.
yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.
#dungeon meshi spoilers#mithrun#dungeon meshi#this has been rotating for a while but i wanted to check my evidence before getting into it thanks user angelspenance for posting that meme#half of this is just the text and the other half i'm sure has been said before but it's making my brain [radio static] so here this is#someone did for sure mention this but i do find it very cute that in his fucked up conjured world meant to portray his ideal reality#his teammates came to visit him. like part of the fantasy was then explicitly that they cared about him and were his friends. even though#he says he tried to see the worst in them.#hm it does feel important to note that i do also believe 100% in mithrun suicidality--his desire to be eaten does seem to focus a lot on#wanting it to be Over. wanting not to be left incomplete and empty anymore.#but that loops back around a bit to the hole in your heart that appears when you feel unloved. it's many things and the same thing at once#snakes#long post#severe problems#meshy
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Local Wizard Goes To Store, Casts Duplicate On All The Items
aka I went to the antique mart this weekend and did a bunch of art studies in augmented reality! SUPER fun way to hone the ol 3D brush skills
#art#video#art video#3d art#artists on tumblr#virtual reality#vr#augmented reality#ar#figmin xr#magic leap#i also shared the magic leap with all the store employees so they knew what i was doing in there lol#they LOVED it and told me to come back anytime#and that they'd share all my work on their insta#extremely wholesome experience#ar glasses are like a cheat code to social interaction for me#they make people approach me first but they do so VERY politely#since it looks like i'm creating something even if they can't see what it is#and then i share the glasses with them and the sheer AWE people experience is so wonderful#and then we instantly have something cool to talk about!#very bizarre that a face-computer could be an anxiety lifehack like this but here we are lol
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Shana Tova!!! May your enemies, haters, and those who wish evil upon you be cut off. The blessing for the leek has always felt resonant but this year it's been on my mind a lot. For me at least, 5785 is a year of practicing healthy boundaries and taking care of myself - even if I have to run on spite. I hope everyone has a safe Rosh Hashanah ❤️
#jumblr#jewish art#rosh hashanah#EYE CONTACT#SCOPOPHOBIA#i hope everyone has a good day even if this isn't a holiday you celebrate!#learning to say no and set boundaries slowly has been a blessing#also thank you to those who have sent me messages recently. I'm taking a small break from#talking much bc my health isn't great rn but!! i will get back to y'all soon
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