#also i'm 10+ years late to the party but i blame that on the fact that i bought the dvd back in 2012 and expected band of brothers 2.0

[gouden-carolus]

Always faithful

[beardedmrbean]

Wait Omar have a daughter?

In her 20’s?

Is the college student her stepdaughter because I that Omar was in her late 20’s.

Also yes a daughter of a high profile politician is totally homeless. Omg heard that time Obama eldest try to hide the fact she was the daughter of a former president for her film career…even though she was 25 director who film got into a film festival?

Dear god anyone can smell the nepotism from that age alone. And oh lord how my community fanatical (well many still do) treated the Obamas when they were in office

Wait isn’t IIhan Omar a Somali immigrant? Don’t Somali have a Muslim terrorists issue too? Or am I being racist?

And you guys are supporting the hamas who would have thrown rocks or shoot you for being LBGT

The greatest trick 9/11 did was allow Muslim activists hide their brutal colonialism and act like relatation from other religion groups was because they were racist. Not saying I’m enjoying the dead kids form bombing.

But it weird how I learn about the Ottoman Empire and the janssisaes from 2011 historical fiction game rather than my own education system

She's 41, born in Somalia so can't be president, came in as a refugee in 95, daughter that's in the news is 21, you'd think given her history she'd appreciate life in America more, but instead she acts incredibly entitled.

Also yes a daughter of a high profile politician is totally homeless. Omg heard that time Obama eldest try to hide the fact she was the daughter of a former president for her film career…even though she was 25 director who film got into a film festival?

She lost her campus housing for a few days, she was suspended and that means everything, not that she'll accept responsibility.

Did not know that about Malia, hmmmm

Malia Obama has been labeled a ‘nepo baby’ after presenting her directorial debut

And I imagine people are calling the folks saying that racist,

"Though the 25-year-old filmmaker released the movie under the stage name Malia Ann"

Ya that'll cover it till someone sees a picture.

Emilio Estevez did that starting out, not sure if casting directors recognized him but he mad a run of it before saying ya ok I'm Martin Sheen's kid, Malia would have to do everything blind for that to work odds are her identity leaked very quickly.

Wait isn’t IIhan Omar a Somali immigrant? Don’t Somali have a Muslim terrorists issue too? Or am I being racist?

Went over all but the last bit there, and it's a geographical issue not a race issue so not racist at all, also

Also there's

This section is basically middle east came to Africa, Ethiopia has Eritrea blocking their access to the water ever since it broke away too.

And you guys are supporting the hamas who would have thrown rocks or shoot you for being LBGT

The term "Pinkwashing" was created to express why it's totally different when they support a country or region that would kill them for existing while complaining about the toy section at Target being gendered in the same breath.

More "white man's burden/noble savage" thinking, remember they've also got people in there defending the rape and murder that happened on 10/7, if you see someone saying 'by any means necessary', that means they're ok with gang raping Israeli women and children and any other atrocity you can think of, at least if you want to take them at their word that it really is ANY means.

I didn't say it, they did, and the people that do say it need to convince me they aren't ok with it now. Thankfully nobody I know has gone that route.

The greatest trick 9/11 did was allow Muslim activists hide their brutal colonialism and act like relatation from other religion groups was because they were racist. Not saying I’m enjoying the dead kids form bombing.

They voted as a solid red block for the most part till then, not that I blame them for switching parties then, problem is the portions of the community that are more fundamental than Omar's group is. Might be shocked how many American Muslims hate her because of various reasons most having to do with her not being their kind of Muslim.

But it weird how I learn about the Ottoman Empire and the janssisaes from 2011 historical fiction game rather than my own education system

Ya, I didn't even get that I just started reading one day and managed to plow through dozens and dozens of wiki pages, oddly it all started with the question

"Why did Constantinople get the works" because I knew it was more people's business than the Turks.

TMBG have a official video, but I like the tiny toons one better

[journallingweeks]

I can't sleep

I can't sleep, so I decided I'd journal. I'm in my office with the big light on. I don't want to toss and turn for ages in bed feeling restless. I feel pretty low, and I've been anxious all day. I think I've tried my very best to chase it away, and now I just have to sit with it. All day I tried cleaning, planning out extremely detailed meal plans orientated around gut health, working on designing my website. I noticed I was trying pretty much anything to have a connected and engaging conversation with my boyfriend, but he was hungover and for the most part, unresponsive.

I just feel SO LONELY. It is an unbearable heaviness, and I won't even allow myself to sit with it - all I can think about how ungrateful I sound if I even voice these thoughts - how I live in this beautiful house (in the context of a housing crisis), with this beautiful boyfriend who everyone loves, in good shape with nice clothes and a successful self-employment situation running - all my DREAM set up!! What is wrong?! Why do I feel like this!? I just feel so alone. When I feel the full extent of the loneliness, I feel literally horrified.

I feel suspicious of everyone around me. I feel they're judgemental of me or using me for when I am convenient. I don't feel they have my best intentions at heart. I don't feel any real love from most of my closet friends or family.

It's the easiest to take it out on my boyfriend, of course. I suspect that he doesn't really love me and if anything I irritate him - that maybe he's just weighed up in his head that I am the most suitable candidate (being younger, good looking, sociable and liked by his own friends and family), but that he doesn't really care for me or my personality. I can't help but feel he must know I'm struggling and just doesn't want to bring it up. He doesn't want the hassle.

My parents, are also, easy targets to try and understand where this existential dread is coming from, what difference does it really make? Putting all of my anxieties onto them, as if blaming them makes it any easier really, and besides, I have always been uncomfortably aware of their mortality and how much I would regret being angry towards them when I'm older, because their time here is limited. It's my own burden to carry if I feel angsty. It largely has little to do with our childhood, and doesn't really matter if it did have anything to do with that.

I distinctly remember staying up late when I was 16 around this time of year. I'd be confident to say it was this week, in 2014, so ten years ago. Today (1st of July), it'll be ten years since my first date with my ex, who was my first real love. We went for a drive and I remember the entire thing feeling completely surreal. I now realise I was experiencing limerence for the first time then. I literally felt fucking high.

I loved him straight away and knew that he was a terrible person who was going to send me into the literal trenches - and that he did! He continuously cheated on me and I spend the entire year in bathrooms of house parties, paralytic out of my mind, having some fellow 16 year old relay brutal details of his whereabouts. I remember feeling sick most of the time - I lost a stone. But I remember, in some sick way, preferring these feelings to those that I had experienced directly before meeting him - this low, lonely feeling that I'm experiencing now, 10 years later, YEARS after all of that died down. I think we're more similar to our 16 year old selves than we like to believe.

I think when I feel like this I remember something I tend to forget for long periods of time: when I open up to people, I feel objectively worse. Something in the fact that they don't know what to say, or a certain feeling of disconnection - using words like 'the situation' or 'it's okay to feel that way'. Is it? And? What else!?

I also feel like I'm particularly troubled by these feelings now, because I loved to look back at my mental state and 16 and attribute it to: my diet, my sleeping pattern, my environment (at home, which is a hoarder house and the dynamics between my family members are chaos) - but now, what's there to blame, really? Myself! This must be just who I am!

[thedreadvampy]

So I had a really positive Hey We Are Healing therap today. talked about what a difference the gym's making bc it's such a new experience to have the response from a trainer/teacher/tutor when I say "I can't do this because of XYZ" to not be "well guess you can't do it" or "well try harder" but "ok that's good to know, let's work out a way we can get you to bring able to do it"

that was nice. that's not the point. The point is I left feeling really positive and then somehow 10 minutes into my half hour walk home I started really fixating on a couple of Bad Experiences from my teens that have LITERALLY nothing to do with ANYTHING we were talking about today. or anything or anyone I've been thinking about/dealing with lately.

[advice gratefully accepted. some moderately detailed Trauma Stuff under the cut before I get to the thing I'd like advice on. tw for rape/sexual assault.]

I really want to tell two of the friends I still have from school about something that happened with my ex when I was 18. I really do want to tell them. I don't think I ever will. whatever 🙃

but I was like rehearsing in my head what I wanted to tell them and then I jumped from there to like. my general experience of high school boyfriends (It Was Not Good) and I got like. stuck. on this specific thing that happened when I was I think probably 18 or 19?

I think we'd left school and moved away and we were getting back together at New Year to catch up after not having seen each other for months. It was at a party at my friend's house and I was quite drunk and I really only remember flashes. anyway the upshot is his mum came in to find me mostly naked and almost unresponsive in my friend's bedroom with two of my exes (different exes. not the ex from the other thing) Doing Things. and she threw them out of the house and I was in floods of tears because I thought it was my fault and I very very vaguely remember my friend coming up to comfort me and he sat with me for the rest of the night.(I only remember anything about what happened after the blowup because I remember him being really firm that nobody blamed me or was mad at me, and I remember how I felt about that)

anyway I haven't talked to him much in the last decade, we've messaged and said hey hi I miss you we should hang out periodically but we live quite far apart and neither of us have had much call to be in the other's city for many years. but like. I really really really want to message him and be like hey I don't know if you remember this night, but if you do can you tell me what you think happened? like what it seemed like from your perspective? because my experience was really really interior and I also have literally no memories before or after.

I remember sitting on the stairs because I felt sick and overwhelmed and needed to get away from the party because I could hardly hold my head up. I remember my ex coming and sitting next to me and talking about how he hadn't had sex since we were dating and it was Literally Killing Him and he was going to die of it. then I think I have like a brief flash of both him and my other ex who was his best friend maneuvering me into the bedroom. then my friend's mum shouting and then getting kicked out and me being really confused and distressed that she wasn't angry with me, I thought it was because I was crying and she felt bad. then after that nothing again except the vague memory that I was comforted and sat with.

ANYWAY sorry I didn't mean to get into that either. because the thing is like. I really want to message and ask my friend what if anything he remembers. like what other people think happened. but. aside from the fact he may well say 'no I don't remember' I'm thinking like. It's kind of a dick move to message someone you've barely spoken to in years on a Thursday night and be like hey man can we have a potentially really unpleasant conversation? like I don't know what's up in his life I don't know if he's busy I don't know if he's ok (and also. he's very much the guy who only communicates through jokes memes and nonsense phrases. so it's a pretty big tone jump.)

like I think he would want to help. but I also don't think it's fair to just jump something on him. but I also won't. get to the point if I try to do a soft lead in. and all this is assuming he actually remembers.

so my question, if you've made it this far, is like. if you were this guy and your bestie from school who you've not talked to in a million years was like 'hey dude how's it going? weird question this Thursday night. do you remember a specific new year party when we were like 18 and your mum kicked [name] and [name] out of the house?' how would you. feel about that? what if you didn't remember? what if your memory of it was that it was mostly fine? what if your memory of it was that it was really awful and concerning?

like. should I message him? or should I just process it on my own?

[kateis-cakeis]

Hi! I am/was a neglected kid so i am semi on Fundy's side by default, which gives me a bias i am trying to break. And since i came to fandom later I was told a big reason Fundy apologists "dislike" Alivebur was the fact "I despise you" made Espionage Arc have no real payoff which I'm inclined to superficially agree. I was wondering if there were any vods youd reccomend i could watch to break my preconceived thoughts/bias?

Hi, Anon.

Here’s some vods at the timestamps that are probably important to watch (X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X). They show Alivebur as a father, and also him getting disowned, as well as the despise quote itself. 

But I’m gonna take your ask as an excuse to do some analysis, so hope you don’t mind!!!

I feel like I should tread carefully here since you said you are/were neglected but ummm...

Okay, so, in my eyes, Alivebur was the exact opposite to neglectful. If anything he was an overbearing and protective father who thought Fundy was far too young for any kind of power - hence why he never gave him any proper government position.

Here are a couple quotes where Alivebur mentions that Fundy is too young:

“That means you’ve got like a week till Fundy’s in charge of L’Manberg.” (Tommy)

“Nah, Fundy’s too young.” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s video The Great War of the Dream SMP: 26:40)

and

“Don’t give him promotions he’s too young, he doesn’t understand.” - (Wilbur’s video Building the Resistance: 11:08)

This is likely because, as mentioned by Ghostbur, that around the time of the election, Fundy was fourteen. Which also means he was younger during the Independence War, and still fairly young at the beginning of the Pogtopia era.

Here’s the quotes:

“Last time I spoke to Fundy was… erm. When I announced I was running for President, and you said that you were also gonna run. That was the last time I remember.” - (Fundy’s Being Adopted: 1:00:43, 27th Nov)

–

“He’s very young, he’s only like fourteen.” - (Fundy’s Being Adopted: 1:03:12, 27th Nov)

–

“Phil, do you know how old Fundy is? I think he was very young when I remember, but I don’t know if he’s gotten older since.” - (Fundy’s Being Adopted: 1:03:23, 27th Nov)

The implication here is that Ghostbur doesn’t know if Fundy has gotten older since he last remembers, but Ghostbur last remembers talking to Fundy at the election. 

This implies that the “He’s very young, he’s only like fourteen” means that Fundy was fourteen around the time of the election, but has gotten older since then, implied from Ghostbur asking Phil how old Fundy is. (If you wanna see more on this, here’s an analysis about the whole age thing)

With this in mind, it makes sense why Alivebur would baby Fundy and be overprotective, to the point where he gave him no responsibility. It comes from a good place, but Fundy didn’t like it all that much.

It seems with both Alivebur and Fundy, their relationship was good up until the exile. This is also further backed up by what Phil said about Alivebur being a good dad:

“Will, for good portion of your life, you were the best dad. You were great. But, at some point, you took a turn and... things got messy.” - (Wilbur’s Amangus with new and old friends: 1:59:37, 24th Nov)

That turn Phil is referring to? That’s Pogtopia, and something very notable happens with Alivebur and Fundy two weeks before Alivebur took that turn. 

See, Alivebur has a very justified reason in hating Fundy, it’s not for no reason, not at all (full analysis on that here). He’s justified because, Fundy disowned him:

“Wilbur is just a founder, and I was born here and nothing else. That’s literally everything there is to it.” (Fundy)

“But you know that’s not…” (Alivebur)

- (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 58:20, 23rd Sep)

We have no idea if this was just for show as a spy, or if this was legit, but no matter what Fundy’s intentions were, he disowned Alivebur when he was right there, and it contributed into breaking him. 

The paranoia Alivebur had in the latter half of Pogtopia? Part of it comes from Fundy. He literally claims to not even be related, at all. It’s not just disowning, it’s denying that Alivebur was ever his father. 

That’s bound to hurt and break Alivebur down, and not to mention, Alivebur was hurt when Fundy wasn’t on his side at the elections, so this is so much worse. 

After the above quote, Alivebur is silent for half a minute before saying this:

“I don’t know who you are anymore, Fundy. I don’t know who you are anymore…” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 59:08, 23rd Sep)

This is a major quote that gets overlooked. Alivebur thought he knew his son, but after he was disowned, he says this in a tone that seems as if he’s on the brink of tears. Losing Fundy like this hurt Alivebur deeply, but nobody ever takes it into consideration when talking about their relationship.

This is what makes Alivebur wholeheartedly believe that Fundy was on Schlatt’s side. And it definitely contributes to his paranoia. But what hurts the most, one of the quotes that matters the most, is when Alivebur, two weeks after the disowning, says Fundy was all he cared about in L’Manberg:

“Fundy, Fundy is very clearly on Schlatt’s side, look- Fundy was the closest thing I had to something I cared about in L’Manberg, when it all began. You know, when it started, the closest thing to anything I cared about was Fundy. Fundy was my, he was my, he was my boy! My rock! You know? And hearing what he said about L’Manberg and stuff is just… And when I heard him say that he had no care for me, I believe that. I think he’s so happy that he’s finally been given maturity in L’Manberg, you know. Like, Schlatt’s giving him the maturity he’s been craving, you know. And that’s cool. That’s fine. You know? I have no issue with that, he can do what he wants.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:44:10, 8th Oct)

Alivebur believed 100% that Fundy didn’t care about him, that breaks a parent no doubt. People act like Fundy never hurt Alivebur, and that he was unjust in his hatred but... that’s not true at all. Alivebur lost everything when his son betrayed him, because he had already lost his nation, his son was the last thing he had.

But Alivebur is also self-aware to why it happened, talking about how Schlatt gives him the maturity Fundy had wanted. He knows how his own actions and words had led to this, maybe even knowing he had hurt Fundy.

Which finally leads us onto the despise quote itself:

“Fundy, I despise you, you were my son and you just betrayed me. I have nothing to say to you.” (Wilbur’s The Meeting: Nov 6th, 35:55)

It’s not fair to take this quote out of context, like so many do. On its own, without everything else in mind, sure it looks bad, but with how Fundy hurt Alivebur, how it broke him, it makes a lot of sense. 

After weeks - possibly even years in the SMP timeline - of believing Fundy had betrayed him and wanted nothing to do with him, Fundy walks back into his life and reveals he’s a spy. Not only is Alivebur going to find it hard to trust that, but he’s also not going to forgive Fundy straight away. 

He had been hurt for weeks, if not possible years, of course he’s not just going to say he loves Fundy and move onto the plan. Yes, despise is a strong word, but look at the latter half of the quote. 

“You were my son and you just betrayed me.” - This is one of the most important parts but no one ever talks about it! It can be implied from this that Alivebur sees family as the strongest bond, since this line implies he wouldn’t have expected a betrayal from his own son. 

Which is why he despises him, which is why he as nothing to say to him.

Alivebur is a complex man, but pretty clear cut as a parent. He was overbearing, too protective, trying to keep his son from responsibility, from following in his footsteps in a leadership position that only caused Alivebur stress (and possibly caused his depression).

He’s a parent who thought he could rely on his son being on his side, only for his son to back his opposition at the debates, only for him to make his own party and then commit voter fraud (which you know like father like son in terms of rigging voting :P), only for him to stay in Manberg and cheer his father’s exile, only for him to disown him and claim he was never his father, only for him to reveal he was a spy wayyy too late.

It’s tragic, this relationship between them. Alivebur hurt Fundy by being overbearing no doubt, but he was never neglectful. The only time Alivebur had nothing to do with Fundy was after Fundy himself betrayed him. I think it’s rather harsh to say he had left him or neglected him with that in mind.

And ultimately, Fundy blames Alivebur for leaving him alone in the world. He still cared and missed him, and says himself that Alivebur left him when he needed him the most. But I also think that’s a bit harsh on why Alivebur died too, he didn’t do it to hurt Fundy, he did it to hurt himself.

Anyway... I hope this helps, Anon. I tried to be real sensitive but, I don’t know, you probably haven’t changed your mind anyway, people are pretty set in this fandom :P 

But I really care about this father/son relationship - in fact I talked about it for hours last night with a friend - so I feel like I can sometimes shine a new light on some of the facts :)

[huntertheblackwolf]

The Morning After

(2.8k) It was difficult towards the end, cause I didn't know what to do, but I did it! So yay! Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy!

Chapter IV: Dinner

  Gasps and soft moans surrounded the two as the man with slick back hair let the sounds go freely. 

  "Fuck. Ri-right there~" he finished with a soft moan, as he was grabbed by the waist and lifted against the wall. The man in front him started to thrust faster, grunting in his ear and sighing. Wrapping his legs around Hunter, Soryu continued to let out soft moans as Hunter tightened his grip on his hips. Slamming him down, Hunter started to nibble on Soryu's neck, before opening his mouth wide and- 

  'Awkward, but whatever. It's normal.' Hunter thought as he looked away from Soryu and to the server coming to the table. 'I just wanna take a nap already.' 

  "Hey Hunter, isn't that the guy from-" Conner started whispering a question to him before shutting up as something stabbed him on the side as Silviya glared at him from the corner of her eye. Smiling towards Baba and Ota, she started to speak. 

  "So, how do you know Mr. Ichinomiya?" She asked as Conner looked on, the server distributing menus to the occupants. 

  "I broke into his house." Baba answered before grinning. "I'm only playing of course! I bumped into him late one evening while exploring the neighborhood. He helped me out in some aspects revolving around money and business, and well, here we are!" He said with a flourish. 

Giggling, Silviya looked at Eisuke. 

  "Is it true?" 

  He smiled, "To some degree, yes." He answered as looked at his menu as did everyone else. Choosing what they wanted, Hunter having what Silviya was having, the server wrote down their order and left. 

  "So how did you meet Kisaki, Baba? You both seem like childhood friends." Conner asked, grinning. 

"I was given a proposition to help me from getting bored by Baba, but I thought he was just old and crazy and I just ignored him. He did pipe my interest though and so I listened to him after thinking about it and after he brought some art pieces of mine. It also helped that the Boss approached me for an art commission for Tres Spades. He spoke about some business relationship and I was hooked. That's how I met these people." Ota answered, smiling at Conner and Silviya who were invested in the story. They smiled back and then looked towards Eisuke and Soryu. 

  "And what about you two?" Silviya questioned as a server started to serve them wine and their dinner. "Oh," she said, stopping one of them, "Just a glass of water for me and him," she said pointing at Hunter, "and  lemonade for him" she finished, pointing at Conner who nodded. 

  "Well, we actually became schoolmates and friends after going to boarding school together when we were teenagers. We separated, but after 10 years, we met up with each other again and here we are." 

  "Oh, that's nice!" Silviya said, taking a sip of water. 

  "Are you three related?" Ota continued, seeing now that they didn't like each other. 

  "Hmm? Oh no! Actually," Silviya said, grinning. "We're not even related by blood, but we still consider each other family as we grew up together, fought together, and loved together. You don't have to be sharing the same bloodline to be considered a family." She paused, taking another sip of water. 

Conner continued. "We actually have two other brothers back in America. Sam and Phil. They're related to me by blood. We're actually triplets! We just don't look the same that's all. Other than that, Silviya and Hunter aren't related to us, but ya know, like Silviya said, we're family." He finished, shaking her by the shoulder. 

  "Well, why aren't your other brothers here with you then?" Eisuke questioned, as he looked over to Conner. 

  "Someone had to stay behind to guard the house and care for our pets." Conner answered and Silviya opened to add on. 

  "I also wanted to see if Sam can care after our company without my guidance. After all, when I'm gone, I want someone I can trust to take over." She said, grinning wildly. "Also with the fact that we're the only ones capable of getting Hunter out of his shell to have some fun at least." 

  "Actually, this is the first time since that week in the casino, the one where we were kicked out, that Hunter has joined us tonight." Conner pondered. "So, thanks for inviting us Mr. Ichinomiya. We appreciate it!" He grinned. 

  "Wait, kicked out? Why?" Baba questioned, the food finally arriving, looking exciting for a story, Ota looked excited too. 

  "Well-" Conner started before being interrupted by plates being set down. Thanking the server, Conner began his story with Silviya's help. 

"50 percent of the blame lies with me. I was playing a lot of casino games and I just kept winning! So, some of the other players got upset and accused me of cheating, when they kept constantly losing." Conner shrugged his shoulders. "The dealers believed those players over me, without proof of course, and called security over. I argued and then proceeded to get kicked out when they wouldn't hear me out." 

  "The other 50 percent lies with me." Silviya continued, seeing everyone invested in the story, except for Hunter, as he continued to enjoy his meal. "I uh. I got physical with someone's bodyguards. Before y'all say anything! The girl started it, I didn't! She insulted me and normally I would have let it go, but I was drunk. I was high on energy and life! I swung at her and her bodyguards jumped in, resulting in them taking the hits. I got mad and started to swing everywhere, until I noticed I knocked out two of them, almost going for three! Security got there one time though and they kicked me out with Conner in tow. After that, we ended up in a nightclub." Silviya finished as she took a bite out of her food. 

  "And where was Hunter in all of this?" Soryu asked, looking in disbelief at the three. 

  "Hm? Oh! He was-." Silviya paused, thinking for a minute, before speaking again. 

"Well, I do know that right after Conner and I were kicked out, Hunter was there and that he followed us to the nightclub. I just don't remember where he was before we got kicked out, now that I think about it. Do you?" 

  "Nope." Conner answered quickly, too focused on eating, before glancing at Hunter. 

  Everyone looked at Hunter, who was now done eating his food and sipping his water. 

He looked up at them and shrugged. 

  "Hunter? Where were you?" Conner asked as Hunter responded by signing. 

  "Uh, he said that he was exploring the hotel, found some interesting stuff before getting bored and then going back to the casino to find us. Saw that we were getting kicked out and followed." Conner answered for Hunter. "That's all that happened on his side." 

  "Exploring? Again Hunter? You know we're safe in that hotel! You need to relax." 

Silviya said in a huff, before smirking. "Are you sure you just weren't looking for someone to mess around with? I mean, in that nightclub, you did-" Silviya's eyes widen, quickly clambering her mouth shut and averting her eyes to her plate. "Uh. Forget whatever I was saying." She chuckled as she started to sip her water again. 

  "No, no, continue Silva. You were saying?" Smirked Conner as he looked towards Silviya, who narrowed her eyes at him. 

  "You know what I meant." She rolled her eyes. 

  "Yeah, but I wanna hear it come from your mouth." 

  "Too bad. It's Hunter's business anyways. It's not our right to spill." 

  "Ugh- I hate when you're right." 

  "Yeah, I know. Cause I always am." 

  "And cause you always turn into a major bit-OW OW OW. OKAY! OKAY! I'M SORRY!" Conner yelped as Hunter pulled at his ear. Letting go, Conner began to rub his ear and Silviya started to laugh, before she was whacked on the head gently by Hunter. Rubbing her head, she glared at him. 

  "What was that for?" Silviya asked as Conner nodded in agreement. Hunter glanced at them from the corner of his eye, before closing them and slightly nodding towards the rest of the guest. 

  "Oh, right. Haha, sorry about that." Silviya said, grinning in embarrassment. "We tend to get distracted." 

  "It's fine." Ichinomiya answered. "Did you enjoy your meal?" He asked as he signaled the server over as he saw everyone finish their meal. 

  All three nodded and Silviya smiled. 

  "Yes, it was wonderful. Thank you." 

  "Oh, it was nothing. I wanted to thank Hunter for pushing me away. It was unexpected. So thank you." He smiled at Hunter who had opened his eyes. He nodded at Eisuke and waved his hands around. 

  "He says not to worry and it was a reaction to protect you. Oh! And he says thank you for dinner." Conner smiled at Eisuke, who smiled. 

  He then turned to Silviya and Conner. "I also wanted to apologize to you two. I thought my employees knew the consequences of not doing their obligations. Instead, they let it happen. This won't occur ever again and I do sincerely apologize that it happened to the both of you." He said, slightly bowing his head. 

  "Oh dude! You're fine man! The swelling has gone down and it'll go away soon. You're all good!" 

  Silviya playfully rolled her eyes. "What he means is that we accept your apology even if it wasn't your fault. I mean, you didn't punch Conner and it was the managers' fault anyways. So no worries man, you're okay." She smiled at him as the server came to the table with the check.

Eisuke smiled. "We hope this doesn't affect your view of the Tres Spades then. 

Hopefully, your vacation goes smoothly as well." 

"Oh yeah, of course! The hotel is awesome! The bar and parties! And the nightclubs near the hotel." Conner answered. 

"And the shopping districts!" Silviya continued. 

Chucking, Baba and Ota smiled at them as they started up a conversation with the two. 

Soryu, who was busy listening, looked up to tapping.

Hunter slid him a napkin, as he looked up to Soryu and tilted his head towards it. 

Grabbing the napkin and reading it, Soryu looked at Hunter and nodded as he stuffed the napkin back into his jacket. Eisuke looked on as he spoke with the server, paying for the check. Hunter yawned as he looked away from Soryu and leaned towards Conner, laying his head on his shoulder and closed his eyes. Hearing the muffled conversation and his brother’s heartbeat, Hunter relaxed slightly, but was still attentive to his surroundings.

“Is he tired?” Baba asked as he nodded towards Hunter.

“Nah, he’s fine, just tired of interacting with people. Silviya answered as she looked towards Hunter, reaching over to lightly ruffle his hair. “So, don’t worry about it. He’ll be fine when we go back to the hotel.”

“What will you all be doing tomorrow?” Eisuke asked, as the server came back with his card.

“Probably go shopping and-” 

“And go to some arcadas! Don’t forget about that! Gotta win one of those anime claw machines! And buy some figurines for Phil, remember that.” Conner interrupted as he stroked his chin, being careful not to disturb Hunter.

“Right! What about Sam then?”

“We’ll know when we go shopping. Some of these stores are probably full of hidden treasures. Remember when we went to Mexico and Sam found that talavera pottery, some Día de los Muertos figurines, and alebrijes sculptures in Puebla? He really liked that! We’ll probably find something cool that he might like.”

“I guess you’re right. If we can’t anything for Sam tomorrow, then we’ll try again elsewhere. We are staying for a couple of more weeks, so where’s the rush.” Silviya smirked and Conner nodded.

“How long have you all been staying in the hotel?” Eisuke asked as he sipped his wine as the others looked at the three.

“Probably for like a week and a half? Probably two? Somewhere around there.” Silviya asked as she grabbed her jacket. “I’m in charge, but honestly because we’re so far from our ‘deadline’, I guess you can say, about going home, that I’m not really that organized as of right now. It’s a vacation, meaning it’s a waste to be on time on stuff that’ll eventually happen.”

Conner nodded as he went to grab his coat, Hunter slowly getting off of him. “I mean, we’ll do anything on a whim if it entices us. Hunter normally doesn’t do anything with us, but he’ll come along. He just likes to do things on his own. We actually don’t know what happens with him when we don’t force or take him with us.”

“Which is fine cause we trust him!”

“And if Hunter, on any day, wants to do anything, we’ll go along with it.” Conner continued.

 Hunter, who was buttoning up his jacket, lightly butting his head against Conner.

‘Cute.’ Eisuke thought as he gazed at Hunter, quickly looking away, not wanting to get caught staring. “I think it’s time to go. The restaurant seems to be closing in 10 minutes.” He said, grabbing his own jacket, the others doing the same. The group made light conversation as they got ready to leave. Leaving the restaurant, Hunter trailed behind, making sure his siblings didn’t forget anything like usual. Walking towards the exit, Hunter joined them in the limo that pulled up.

“-wanted to have fun, ya know? Hopefully, Conner doesn’t fuck it up.” Silviya almost muttered.

“What does that mean?”

“Remember when you brought those girls over to a party at the hotel from last year?”

“Yeah, but-”

“And how they almost ruined the party for us when we discovered that they had warrants when the cops came?” She stated, cocking her eyebrows. 

“I-” Conner sighed, “Yeah, I remember.” He mumbled out as he made room for Hunter to sit.

“You all seem to have fun whenever you’re out.” Ota commented as Baba nodded as he looked towards Silviya.

Hunter tuned out the group conversation as the car started to drive away. 

Arriving at the hotel, Hunter got out, his siblings trailing after him. Stopping, he let them lead first, always being comfortable with following and being behind. Soryu, having received a phone call on the way to the hotel, stayed in the lobby to finish the conversation. The large group continued their own conversation all the way to the elevator and on it. Silently, Hunter looked over his siblings.

‘Good. They’re having fun.’ He closed his eyes, waiting for the elevator to get to their floor. ‘They’ll be going shopping and leaving me alone tomorrow.’ With a ding, Hunter opened his eyes.

“Thank you for dinner Mr. Ichinomiya! It was wonderful!” Silviya chirped as they got off, Conner sharing the same sentiment.

“Of course. It was a joy to have all of you there.” Eisuke replied as he nodded towards them.

“And it was nice to meet all of you of course.” She continued as she and Conner shook hands with everybody, Hunter waving his hands towards them instead.

“It was wonderful hanging with you all. Maybe someday we can do this again.” Baba said to them.

“That would be fun actually.” Silviya said as Conner nodded exhilaratingly.

Eisuke coughed slightly, catching Hunter’s attention. He lowered his voice for only Hunter to hear and spoke softly, not wanting to catch the others’ attention.

“Thank you again Hunter. For saving me. I hope you enjoy your stay at the hotel and I wish you well. I hope to see you again, under better circumstances of course.” He chuckled softly.

Hunter’s eyes softened a bit as he gave a slow nod, before turning expressionless again.

Hearing his siblings giving farewells, Hunter waved towards Eisuke and the others, before following his siblings towards the rooms as the elevator doors closed.

His siblings, who were ahead of him, turned towards him.

“Goodnight Hunt-Hunt! I hope you sleep well man!” Conner said, waving goodnight towards his brother. 

“Night Hunter. We’ll probably be in the shopping district when you wake up, so don’t worry about us. Even though we know we already know you were socially drained, thanks for still coming with us.” Silviya said, grinning towards Hunter, who simply nodded. Waving goodnight to Hunter one more time, Silviya and Conner entered their room. Blinking his eyes, Hunter entered his own room and looked at the clock.

‘11:27.’

Nodding his head, Hunter started to undress, preparing to sleep, even though he wasn’t tired.

‘Today was a good day. Hopefully they have fun tomorrow again.’ He thought as his body hit the bed. He brought out his Nintendo Switch from the top of the nightstand, planning to at least make some progress with his videogame, before going to sleep.

‘Today was kind of fun though.’ He admitted to himself, like a secret little thought, before being consumed by his video game and not giving today anymore thoughts.

[naruhearts]

OKAY SO I've just spent the best part of an hour scrolling through your blog and reading a bunch of your destiel meta and I HAD to message you... I was one of the many people who STRONGLY believed destiel had a chance of being canon after season 8 (more like season gr8 am i right), but throughout the years I slowly lost all hope. However, S14 has made me 110% invested in the show again and YOUR META IS GIVING ME HOPE FOR DESTIEL, which is TERRIFYING. Your writing is wonderful and I'm STRESSED.

Got back from Washington late last night!

Oh my gosh @alovelikecas, your message really made my day and I’m SO glad you enjoy my meta xox (even when most of my meta looks like, to me, sloppy-ass writing, haha! I’ll probably make an end-season meta post after 14x20 — if I have the time — that touches upon SPN’s current and repeating themes since Season New Beginnings S12/Dabb Era, not to mention I have, like, some more unfinished meta in my drafts >.>)

Yeah I mean, I didn’t join Destiel land until Summer 2016, and before that, I was late to the Season 11 party, so I basically had no narrative context for anything, and I’ll copy-paste what I said here: 

Looking back, one significant thing I recall? S11 gave me a sense of Destiel’s true narrative validity (as not a ‘fanon’ ship but organically developed in the canon) when I perceived it as a season that was ‘missing something’. Keep in mind I had no idea about Destiel yet while watching S11 at the time.

I was literally asking myself — repeatedly — why Dean/Amara seemed to contain odd narrative holes, considering A. Dean explicitly said that the non-consensual attraction he felt for Amara was NOT love and “it scares him”, B. Amara told Dean that ‘something stops you - keeps you from having it all’, C. Djinn!Amara stated that she can: ‘feel the love [Dean] feels, except it’s cloaked in shame,’ and D. Mildred’s iconic ‘You’re pining for someone’ —> which did not logically correlate with A and C, meaning: since Dean doesn’t freely love Amara and thus isn’t possibly pining for her — with female love interests as currently non-existent (I remember crossing off the dead/gone girls on a piece of paper lol) — who the hell was he pining for, then?

Originally posted by elizabethrobertajones

Obviously, without writing long-ass paragraphs of meta about it again in this post, S11 made sense as soon as I watched it within the Destiel context (especially after I read up on some grandiose pieces of Destiel meta (@charlie-minion was the very first person who inspired me to write meta; I followed her once I joined the fandom Oh my god, here we go, holy crap this subtext – I’m invested in this godforsaken ship because they’re in love with each other and I’m not getting off any time soon. The rest is history.

I’m aware that I do come off as positive (and I’m still Destiel-positive; whatever happens in 14x20 this week may or may not change that), but I hope you don’t mind if I use your lovely ask as an additional opportunity to clarify my meta standpoint: no one’s saying Destiel WILL become text. 

The general Destiel meta community (all subfactions: Destiel-positive, -negative, -neutral, and in-between) is not the Most Holy Canon Word, and we aren’t SPN writers, and again, we can’t actually speak to the veracity of Destiel as guaranteed-gonna-go-textual, but we — a diverse pool of critical thinkers from all walks of life: particularly those who have some degree of experience in literary academia/English literature studies (fun fact: I was actually pursuing a Minor’s in English until I changed my mind - my first love’s Health Science/Biology, which I stuck with, but here I am doing lit-crit analysis on the side *wink*) — can speak to the veracity of Destiel as a real, palpable, and ever-substantial long-running romance narrative aka the love story between Dean and Cas IS THERE. I see it. We all see it. We didn’t pluck it out of the random ether one day. It naturally evolved across the show’s overarching narrative like some vast spiderweb, linked together by numerous character arc amalgamations of Dean Winchester and Castiel as separate individuals who were then brought together — who brought themselves together, by the sheer force of free will and choice — and are now inherent parts of the other’s story (and respective character progression).

I say this too many times to count: the entire point of writing meta? Personally, it enables me to appreciate the literary gorgeousness of Dean and Cas’ relationship as, first and foremost, a tentative alliance offset by the very moment Cas raised Dean from perdition (it’s a poetic beginning). Their alliance then inevitably proliferated into a rocky — at times, necessarily turbulent — friendship, then a deep profound bond…one that crossed platonic boundaries since S7/8 and is, ultimately, indelibly rooted in romance. Together, Dean and Cas build up each other’s strengths, complement each other’s flaws, and narratively motivate the other to self-introspect — to become the best version of themselves that they were always meant to be: self-actualized entities who let go of their painful, horrifying, psychologically/emotionally destitute pasts.

These above reasons and more are why I think Destiel belongs right up there on the shelf of Ye Olde Classics, similar to epics by John Milton, Shakespearian tragic dramas, Homeric characteristic cruxes, and the great Odyssey journey: a legendary journey, fraught with circumstance, that finally ended with Odysseus (now an enlightened man) returning to Penelope, the love of his life.

Channeling the scope of Homer’s Odyssey, Destiel is an incredible storytelling feat of obstacles, both internal and external, romance tropes, mirroring, foreshadowing, and visual cadence/emotion, enhancing SPN’s already character-driven main plot in that Dean and Cas try to make it back to one another; like Penelope, their love holds true despite everything. If Destiel were an M/F couple, we all know their love story would be absolutely undeniable to the GA.

I do understand the bitterness S14’s fostered in some viewers, though. I do understand that Dean and Cas seem distant (and yeah, it’s a noticeable difference compared to S12/S13), but I believe the Destiel subtext is still heavy and holds steady.

Right now, at this point, there remains multiple personal issues for the characters to solve, you know? Dean and Cas aren’t talking properly; their love languages stay mistranslated, although we’re persistently shown that they still understand each other on a certain level that no one else can, and the visual narrative keeps framing them as on-the-nose solid counterparts: a domestic-spousal romantic unit independent of Sam.

Originally posted by incatastrophicmind

They want to be there for the other. They need to quash the final remnants of their respective internal loathing (Dean’s self-worthiness, Cas’ self-expendability) before they’re able to give the other 100% of their time, efforts, attention, and love (as flawed and complicated but compellingly beautiful as it can possibly be). During the times Dean and Cas do try to talk shit out, extraneous issues continue to get between them.

As other friends/meta pals discussed with me, S14 is like S10 in that it’s confusing the cast/audiences. And exactly: S8, besides S11/S12/early S13, also belongs in the close-to-canon serious Destiel narrative transition! I can discuss the showrunning/writer problem of SBL (Singer + Bucklemming; @occamshipper hits the nail on the head) that tugs subtext – especially subtext linked to Destiel – back and forth, sometimes in the weirdest nonsensical ways, but I won’t go too far into it here. I agree, however, with the recent idea that Jensen does seem a bit confused as to where he should bring Dean emotionally this season (don’t get me wrong, I do NOT believe Dean is OOC; OOC is a completely different concept vs expected character behaviour). And if Dean’s consistently romance-coded past interactions with Cas are any indication, Jensen would also — in the same vein as all of us — want Dean and Cas to start getting their shit together. Long-running fictional characters like Dean and Cas, conceived over 10 years, are so well-written to the point where you, the author, can predict what they’ll do even if you just plop both of them inside a room and give them no direction, and I personally feel that nowadays Jensen is prevented from achieving Dean’s further internal growth/unsure how to act in the moment because of some dumb SBL scripts saying one thing while his character’s heart says another. Wank aside—

Season 15 should hopefully convey a much more logical subtextual perspective e.g. unbelievably amazingly cohesive Season Destiel 11 that aired after choppy S10. Not all hope is lost!! I also want to clarify that I personally LOVED Season 14 in general. It’s been mostly Emotion-centric constant, with Yockey, Berens, Perez, and Dabb usually making my top-rank SPN writer list.

Currently the narrative’s still allowing pretty significant (imho) wiggle room for the lovers to fracture apart and get back together, where their miscommunication comes to a dramatic head. We just saw Dean and Cas argue over Jack’s well-being in 14x18 and 19. Dean — besides putting Cas at the top of his You’re-Dead-to-Me-Because-You-Lied-but-I-Still-Love-You-Goddammit hitlist (for clear spousal-coded reasons) and taking Cas’ actions to heart (he’s the person he trusted the most who lied to him) — no doubt blamed himself for what happened, and Sam was, like I said, the mouthpiece of truth. TFW were all culpable. They all failed Jack in some way, shape, or form.

I’m not expecting anything for 14x20, but I’m nervous either way! Thanks for sticking with my long answer