#also i worked on this for 3 days straight so if you see any oddities. no you didnt

[beepartcollection]

My voiceclaim for Bidwell is Ben Wyatt from Parks & Rec

[plasticfangtastic]

Dairy Girl-- Part 2

A Homelander x F! Reader fanfic

A/N: Sorry for taking so long to post this and hope the lenght is enough of an apology, yeah this is gonna be liek 4 parts i got too engrossed btw. hope yall like it here's the previous chapter:

Synopsis: In order to provide a constant supply of fresh breastmilk for Vought’s number one hero, Vought has had to get quite nifty in order to prevent this secret desire out the press and the public– you have unfortunately discovered the truth.

Tags: Stockholm Syndrome, abusive dynamic, Homelander being Homelander, dub-con, dark, mild smut, breastfeeding kink, kidnapping, child-death mention tw, cheating tw, set in s4 but canon nothing, slow burn.

word count: 3.4K

Part 2– Calf

As he’d mentioned before the house was an escape proof cage– every window had its hinges super glued or welded shut, glass panels thick enough to prevent shattering but thin enough to allow sound in. That night as he’d left you for the first time you kept your composure, perturbed more by the earlier events that nothing had time to sink in, you venture across the 3 bedroom home, each room old taken straight out from a vintage furniture catalog, the master bedroom smelled just like your grandmother’s, the bathroom walls covered in tacky pink tiles that you told yourself will never get used to.

By the time you explored the whole building you understood the following: The size felt deceiving, without a way to see the outside this building could’ve been 35 floors high and you wouldn’t know, the east-wing of the building at the opposite direction where you’d emerged was cut off from you by a thick metal door, an eye-scan request made its unpickable lock, looking at how it cut on the hardwood floors you’d guess this is where in the kitchen and perhaps the garage and entry hall could be found, this overall felt like an architectural nightmare, the only other oddity of this was the piles and piles of bottled water– Vought branded water… you much rather drink Dasani than this crap… It was by far the worst one in the supermarket.

There were indeed no phones or even ethernet ports on the wall, the TV was bolted in its place and so was the VHS player (and all the furniture too), there were at least 350 titles on the walls (something you bothered to count on day 5), an extremely old vinyl player your only other company... whoever had supposedly lived here was a big fan of Cab Calloway, ABBA and Bruce Springsteen, here you and Bruce could become intimate friends it seems after all you had all his vinyls, alongside an expansive jazz assortment, nothing in this selection went past 1989.

You also learned a very useful fact on day 3 you stared at one of the 18 cameras that you’d found.

“I really want some Mcnuggets! Like just a 12-pack and a large Sprite! Maybe an Oreo Mcflurry too!” You yelled into the camera waving your arms as if the circular lense would reply somehow.

Barely few minutes later the air was filled with the roaring sounds of a bike burning tires seemed the forbidden end faced some road which made you giddy, about 50 minutes later a small door at the door itself opened smoothly where the first strange hand you’ve seen in the last 3 days popped-out leaving a bag with a familiar logo… it wasn’t maccas tho, it was Vought-a-burger which was okay but that wasn’t the point, you picked your meal and your oversize ice-cream and drink and begun connecting lines– Your prison was in Pennsylvania, based on the area code on the phone number on that old pizza box, located close enough from both a pizza chain and on a 15 to 20 minutes drive from a Vought-a-Burger, the library held no maps for you to try to find your location but give or take about an hour or two by foot from any civilization… Yet as you drank the mostly melted caramel churro sundae you smiled thinking of how to steal a bike.

That Night you picked two tapes from the wall not caring one bit about what you were going to see, you stared at the camera.

“Hey can one of you check like an underrated 80s movie list from IMDb ‘cuz I seen a few of these already… at least bring me something new!” 

As always no response was ever given, you dragged your feet towards that ornate bedroom of yours, pink walls, flowery quits, a matching chaise lounge, a hardwood coffee table bolted to the ground and your private TV and VHS player, it took you an hour to remember how to use these thing that second day here. You put on a movie, curling in your bed in the dark, smelling the sweet flowery smell of fabric softener, this didn’t smell like home, pillows too soft, mattress too soft everything here was made to bring you comfort but it was making you feel like a squatter.

The cold light of the screen enveloped every surface and you slowly faded away as ‘Lady in White’ began to wrap up, eyes glued to the screen so firmly you screamed when the faint red light peeked from the corner, clutching the quilt across your body as the red faded away and all you saw was a vaguely illuminated shape.

Blurry colors with no clean shapes, standing facelessly enough blue to let you see it was humanoid, Homelander creeped closer, his body blocking the light and like a shadow he devours everything, he turned around to pause the player, draping his gloves on the dumb box as he turned around once more, your heart caught in your throat, each breath quick and sharp as he took another step closer, hushing softly and he’s there swallowing you whole he kneeled into the bed the mattress squeaked and chimed sinking under his weight pulling you in, only the faint outline of gold eagles and soft blonde locks told you with absolute certainty that he was here… that 3 days ago you indeed met The Homelander, far from the pretty blue-eyed hunk from the movies more ghoul.

You swallowed as his head rested on the pillow next to your hips, his nose burying in the cushioned pillowcase.

“I was busy with work” He mumbles softly, staring at you with the same playfulness of a guilty pet owner who’d ran out of their cat's churu treats– "I promise to visit, I got you something… left it downstairs for you.” 

He stared at your white knuckled hands and without uttering a word you understood his demands, fingers moved by psychic force alone, you welcomed him into your lap as you came undone, burying your digits into his hair, soft like cotton, so smooth you dreamt of cat’s bellies as you scratched him, he took the remote from under you lifting you with so much ease your brain struggled to compute it at first, the movie played and all he wanted was petting.

“Security told me you’ve been good… nothing crazy… am glad, "he said with a tired tone.

“What good would that do me…?” You replied with your eyes focused on the screen.

If you wanted to survive I had to get on his good side, no? you though

“I like it when you people understand your place” He chuckles softly.

‘You people’? You could easily discern the meaning behind his words by tone alone, your finger stopped suddenly, his eyes flaring up immediately.

“I think this would be more productive if you told me exactly what’s going on… I won’t try to run or scream… am just confused and scared…” you spoke bluntly as his gaze met yours in the dark.

“This is my private speakeasy and you’re the bartender… tap too… is hard being on top… and I want some relief… and a sanctum–

“To express your socially unacceptable inclinations/interests? Fair enough I can imagine the press would eat you alive if they found out you liked breastmilk.”

“You’re cute and smart too.” He pushed himself into your stomach, your body sinking to the shape he wanted, holding you tight– I’ll be a good owner and let you asks me absolutely anything you want”

“Why me?”

“Dunno.” His lips tightened into a flat line– the doctors picked you, I asked for a good provider… but all the women downstairs and you did have one thing in common” He sounded awkward as he spoke listening to your increasing heartbeat– you kept producing… I asked to have easy access to my treat but somebody downstairs came out with all of this” his hand lazily gestures around– bit extra I know.”

How simple, he didn’t even care about this to begin with, glaring at him gave you no answers or comfort.

“My family…?”

“They think you killed yourself, I've been told… your ex-hubby been on twitter acting holier than the virgin mary, absolutely devastated for likes” You bit your lips, face scrunching up ready to shout and cry– everybody suspects he murdered you even the cops”

“I'm going to kill him!!” Your tears flowed regardless – god fucking dammit!”

Your whole body rejected the news, twisting your stomach and filling you with needles

“How would you do it?”

“Bash his head in with a hammer…?? I don’t know but fuck him! I wasted 5 years of my life with that bastard!” You cried.

Homelander buried his face into your stomach, hiding the smile on his face. as you cursed outloud for a little bit, he paid no attention to your words.

“Sorry…” You cleaned your tears trying to stop this embarrassing display, the mere thought of him acting like he cared made you sick when he wouldn’t even come to his own son’s funeral– are you gonna hurt me?” you cleaned your nose against the pillow.

He moved so quickly before you knew it he’s face to face and even in this dark room only lit by rolling credits he appeared serene as a painting… It makes your blood run cold.

“Why would I hurt my comforter?”

That night he only slept for a couple hours, never moving from your stomach, holding you regardless, he snored softly, mumbling half-spoken words, lips twitching and brows furrowing, you petted him gently watching his hardened frown melt.

Some days he’d come once, others he’d come five times and then there were the days were you didn’t see him at all, leaving you awkwardly aware about how odd these exchanges felt… for it never felt truly sexual, your fears of molestation and ‘real’ assault dissuaded as you accepted that all this man was doing was come here to whine and bitch about work and suck on your titty– like right now, Homelander has been shouting, talkign so much shit about his coworkers you started to wonder if it was made up for nobody could certainly be that allegedly incompetent, about how stressful it was to do 20 plus media interviews all day, about hoq\w his latest film “Justice Serve” was a fucking nightmare already despite being only half-way thru pre-production.

“Do you even know what it's like to deal with idiots who think they’re better than you because they have an award!?” He put your nipple back in his mouth with a frown– who does Villeneuve think he is” He mumbled into your skin.

Yet he didn’t only bring petty grievances and thirsty lips– he showered you with gifts, perfumes you couldn’t pronounce filled with soft fragrances: sweet but not sugary, warm tones without too much spice. Brought you beauty products to pamper you… to watch you play with from the many cameras in the house, and dressed you like a doll in clothes you honestly wouldn't have bought in the first place, too flowery and tradwifey.

You did so with a fake smile, you’d be pretty for him if you must, keep your tongue in-check and swallow the ever increasing knot in your throat for he at least wasn’t loud towards you, he didn’t yell, he didn’t make scenes… you were just living like his newest pet.

His miniature cow standing in the living room instead of the evergreen pastures outside, VHS tapes and steel food trays made your fence.

You keep busy cleaning this house making stories of who had lived there, Bruce the only one who spoke to you.

Analysing the house inch by inch, there had to have been a spot they’ve missed you kept thinking, you figured that somehow they monitored your sleep cycle, only entering to remove dirty clothes and trash in the death of night, they knew if you were obviously awake, on day 14 you stayed up till around 5 am and not a peep was heard accross the house but as you woke past noon all your trash had been cleaned up, on day 16 you stayed awake all day felt sick passed out and same thing, you would find a way out, you would force them to take you out, all the furniture was glued in its post but if you had to cause a fire you fucking would… as you stared at your clean bedsheets you figure you could force them to come in and drag you outside but as you postulated the possibility of a faux-suicide attempt Homelander’s face flashed accross closed eyes– dare dissapointing him and lose all the goodwill you’d been building, trust, even presents more extravagant than anything your ex ever did.

Had he not kidnapped you, hold you against your will in an underground bunker, used you as a milk fountain and terrified the fuck out of you with his invisible steps in the middle of the night you would had found him charming… endearing even… at least he was still handsome… frightening but handsome.

Day 18-19-20 were the worse so far, days went by and your isolation only grew he had not come by, your meals delivered so quietly you missed them and found them cold, birds either too loud or gone but Homelander never came, every hour the anxiety only grew as you found your throat aching to speak with somebody other than a non-present 80s musician.

You made a stack of the movies you’ve seen yelling to the camera demanding more to watch, abandoning the cause to focus on the obscene collection of Danielle Steel books in the library… at least 30 books, at least it was a distraction as you woke up for the third day in a row without hearing from Homelander. 

You talked to yourself, prettier views didn’t make up for human interaction, you had isolated yourselves before… you didn’t eat, shower, answer calls, simply left yourself to rot in your bed, sinking deeper and deeper into your mattress, the calm heartbeat of the machine keeping you alive until the phone battery died, now here you were curling in the couch feeling that endless void inside you screaming back at you, nothing to distract you from it any longer.

How ironic that those days locked in the basement had been the firsts since the funeral that you’d hadn’t thought about it.

Now every sleep came with dreams of distant cries, empty halls that cooed back, and a sense of urgency as time slipped from underneath you, nothing here smelled like him, yet in your sleep you held your pillow as you once held him, swearing it smelled like him, in the silence the singing birds sound like babies, but there’s nothing but creaking floorboards, old pipes and foreign ghosts in this place.

In this endless silence your mind told you this was limbo, jazz solos disguised the pandemonium of a silent afterlife, but as your heart anguished once again you buried yourself in paltry distractions, reading out loud as to keep your vocal chords warm and delude yourself that there was some company in here, mostly to hide the nonexistent crying.

It took you by surprise when half way thru ‘The Ghost’ you heard the buzzing of the steel door, your ears perked up stretching your neck before falling into the floor, shaky knees picked you up once more with a brave kick, quick steeping into the living room– Homelander stood staring at the messy pile talking to the camera to have this sorted and for the first time since you’d been here you sawn another human, who answered his call almost immediately, a man in kevlar rushed in his gun bouncing on his back alongside a young man dragging an ikea bag.

“Homelander!” Your voice was hoarse but he still turned to smile at you.

“We got you some new movies Ms. L/N” The young man spoke dropping the bag with a heavy thud.

“Watch it!” Homelander growled and you saw a slight stain dribble down his pants– just go wait in the library kitten while these ones sort this out for you.” 

Your feet moved anyways, too excited by the presence of new faces, had he not cleared his throat you would’ve said anything just to make sure this wasn’t a dream, you looked away and that big steel door was wide open, an armed guard by the exit tho… it was an office, painted white with cool fluorescent lights. 

Run, the voices scream.

Run.

For fucks sake run!!\

but...

You stay still.

It’s a test. Run and die, run and he’d snap your spine in thirds before you understand what happened your brain would be separated from your cranium no doubt, you swallow and take a step back, slow heavy agonizing steps lead you to the library.

Homelander’s gaze softens as he watches you sit by the unlit fireplace, he follows you soon after leaving the staff to work behind, you lift your head with a stiff neck, your tongue swollen inside your mouth, he smiles gently dropping to your level, carrying a small box.

The pretty bow doesn’t catch your attention in the least.

Not that dashing smile and ever so blue eyes either.

He tickles your nose without touching.

Chamomile and oat, a pale scent, subtle and clean…

As he scoot closer to you urging you to take the meaningless box held by nude hands, he pets your chin, leaving you to catch nutty tones… his hands smell of almond oil and cream.

He’s talking as he guides your hand into opening the present but you aren’t hearing a single word spoken… all you care about is his aroma…it invides you carving an aching hollow chest, making you dizzy and the world is squeezing your whole body with a thousands of pounds of violent force but you’re still held in one piece, wrapping your neck with the necklace he’d got you, touching every exposed inch leaving traces of sweet almond on you, resting his chin on your stiff shoulder so close whispering sweet nothings to you… hair smells so creamy… milky coconut, it makes you ill– You could name every brand he wore if asked.

“You like it?” He asks into your neck.

‘Like’ what? You guessed he meant the necklace.

“Where have you been?” You asked, wanting to think of anything but that bitter scent.

He pushes you down into the carpet, your hair drapes everywhere so he moves it to give himself no chance to pull it, you can’t even argue but your surprise and discomfort still paints your face, before you can say anything he drops his head on your stomach, nuzzling your dress and pulling your hand towards his head.

“I don’t want to talk about it” his muffle words sound angry, he whined into your stomach a quiet order demanding affection.

Obeying orders before he could whined even more for now you wanted silence again.

Staying like this for as long as he needed, leaving you to speculate what brought him such distress that caused him to abandon you as a result, a part of you stared in awe as you realized you how long this man could stay still without making a sound for.

How long did you lay there in a shared repose that your eyes shut? you wondered as the orange glow of afternoon sun warmed your cheeks, his hand cleaned a falling tear off your face as you woke up with a headache.

“Had a nightmare?”

Your hand unconsciously pulled him close to you, burying his face under your chin he’d awkwardly smiled as he adjusted to your demands, talking to you but it was white noise, your kept him still bridging an arm across his neck locking him in position, your other hand buried in blond, closing your eyes as you got high on shampoo.

In your mind much like your dream you hold him so close, he was plump and giddy, his hair more than a thin tuff, you laughed with him, as you dried his back, you swore to never love the scent of coconut, you held back your pain as you held him with all your might.

“I don’t want to talk about it…”

[girlbossvicvega]

while im in my daily scheduled psychpilled hours I have to finish a thought on something. I think it’s really sweet how shawn and gus mess with lassie in the wild west town episode actually

hear me out ok things shawn knows/could reasonably extrapolate things from about lassie’s childhood by this ep:

1. wanted a pony

2. his mom yells at him over the phone for getting divorced

3. ?????? history nerd i guess

4. was stealing shawns dad for a while. quickly figured out that’s a bad idea but like. ok? least strange coworker behavior

meanwhile by this point i think lassie has like an itemized list of shawns various childhood oddities, including but not limited to:

1. raised by henry who is an immensely respected and famously intelligent detective, but who once you get to know him you realize is an incredibly flawed man who critiques you down to the most trivial shit. and is persistent with it. p e r s i s t e n t

2. mother is a psychologist with superpowers (eidetic memory) who isn’t in his life really

3. uncle is a serial liar and conman who liked to use shawn for his schemes and who still very obviously tries to take advantage of him

4. remarkably codependent on best friend who’s basically like his (often reluctant) handler at crime scenes from sbpd pov. side note the running gag where no one has any idea what gus does besides the job of ‘shawn’ is so funny

5. various things were done by henry to train kid shawn including locking him in the trunk of his car, teaching him evasion patterns to avoid people trying to kill him out in the woods, and in the present day at several points he just straight up tells shawn right in front of everyone to use his memory and observation to solve an issue (if i recall correctly first example of this is literally right in front of lassie in 1x13. lol. lmao.)

6. henry personally arrested and charged shawn with a felony. happy fathers day everyone

7. shawn scored a 100 on the detective exam as a 15 year old

8. scared of raccoons (henry spent time with him camping). add in whatever other trivia henry told him in between shitting on his fishing technique

see above why i think lassie ‘gets’ it by this point. shawn is a reflexive menace against any and all authority—and for all intents and purposes weird as hell—but he never really had a chance not to be with all that working against him. and by now lassie’s seen shawn at his best and worst. shawn can be annoying as shit but in the end he can be trusted to do the right thing. he took down goddamn yang

so then you get to high-noonish. shawn finally gets the opportunity to unlock lassie lore and is like. giddy about it. why wouldn’t he be? not only does he get prime blackmail material while getting to act out his childhood cowboy fantasy with gus, but lassie trusts him with a personal issue. dope.

except, uh.

i think he kind of knew lassie’s childhood sucked, but he was probably thinking ‘autistic in catholic school’ sucked, not ‘for years spent every weekend away from home alone with a bunch of strange and mean adults in a fake pioneer town because dad is a deadbeat and mom had to work all day every day and couldn’t make time for him’ sucked. meanwhile lassie’s his usual badly socialized german shepherd self the entire episode. he wants to let them in and ask for help but he’s also regretting opening up. it’s making him lash out. and shawn knows that! because he’s maladjusted too.

so shawn is like. unusually nice to him despite it. ribbing him with the nickname like friends do. lassie is hissing doing his whole bark bite growl routine, above and beyond actually to the point that shawn would be well justified in telling him to piss off, but instead shawn just goes don’t worry buddy we’ve got this :) gus isn’t it fun learning about lassie :) lassie you had a funny childhood nickname gus and i still have so much to figure out about you :) im gonna go get really emotionally invested in this now to the point that even my dad thinks I’m in too deep :P

(henry man YOU are a big part of why he’s overthinking it!!)

ik it was intended primarily for funny show reasons but shassie is just a crazy dichotomy. Guy with commitment issues vs guy who commits too hard. Guy with no dad vs guy with too much dad. Guy with net negative social skills who desperately wants them vs guy with incredible insight into people who hates himself for having it. Guy who’s surly and mean to hide need to be loved vs guy who’s breezy and charming to hide need to be loved

[pvtjoker22]

Okay, it's time for my annual 2024 Horror Media Watchlist, so without further ado --

2024:

Lisa Frankenstein

Longlegs

Late Night with the Devil

Tarot

Alien Romulus

Lovely, Dark, & Deep

The First Omen

Abigail

Exhuma

Terrifier 3

Oddity

Lowlifes

Salem's Lot (2024)

The Hangman

VHS Beyond

The Substance

Here for Blood

Blackout

Lumberjack the Monster

Maxxxine

In a Violent Nature

Infested

Stream

Nosferatu (2024)

Kind of a slow start to the year, but Lisa Frankenstein starts off strong as a really fun romp through 80s horror and teen flick nostalgia. Absolutely loved this one, and was surprisingly boundary-pushing for a pg-13 horror comedy.

I had an alright time with Late Night with the Devil and its recreation of that era of television was genuinely impressive but the pacing felt very strange in the last third, as it seemed to me like we kind of jumped straight to a conclusion. Still definitely a good film though and worth a watch. Also, the whole use of AI thing sucks too, found out about it after watching and ethics aside, it just kind of looks bad.

Abigail was phenomenal as usual for Radio Silence. It was campy, but still had some stuff to say about second chances and parenthood. The setting was exquisite and felt so lived-in. It was somehow both terrifying and cozy. It was definitely a mood.

Melissa Barrera was fantastic as Joey, there's a really incredible dance sequence/possession sequence set to a Danzig song that's just so perfect. Kevin Durand is funny af, and Dan Stevens is a madman as usual. What I'm saying is, this is my top spot.

Exhuma was pretty solid, not expecting it to be so overtly political (not to say horror, or even art isn't inherently political, but this film feels pretty nationalist, especially in the back half)

Absolutely loved the theme of taking back land from colonizers/wealthy, etc. It did feel a bit like the villain lost a bit of intensity in the final confrontation. (Their first experience, where you just see a looming seven foot tall figure was quite intense)

Not sure if I'd place it higher than The Wailing or The Handmaiden for examples but solid entry into the Korean Horror canon.

The First Omen was a lot better than I expected, mostly because I had no expectations for an Omen movie in 2024. It's got a really cool 70s grit melded with a modern flair that just kind of works. There's some really nice candle-lit scenes that were impeccable. The themes of bodily autonomy were predictable, but well-executed. Pretty darn solid.

Lovely, Dark, & Deep was a pretty good folk/cosmic horror that uses shallow focus way better than Army of the Dead ever did. I liked Georgina Campbell's performance and I loved the scenic shots in this movie. It reminded me a lot of Spring and The Battery and how those movies could look just so peaceful despite the horrors.

Lumberjack the Monster may be the most grounded Takashi Miike film I've seen in ages. It's also a pretty fascinating exploration of the hypothetical scenario of psychopaths bearing the weight of their guilt by finally being able to empathize and how that would play out. It also in a broader sense explores the prevalence of clinical psychopaths in society which is uh, a real problem. There's a line that stuck out to me based on the Hypocrisy of the character, and it was something like "judge me based on my actions, not my personality" and yeah, they were right, but also this character was indeed morally bankrupt. I think it may have been used as a 'broken clock is right twice a day' sort of moment. Anyway, this is all to say, it was an interesting movie with interesting questions without any easy answers.

Lowlifes was great up until the ending which I felt was unearned. I understand that the intention was clearly to upend expectations, but wouldn't it be a bigger shock if the poor rural folks were trusted by the authorities? I thought it was going to be a cool 'working class folks defeat symbol of their oppression' kind of story but it seemed the twists were mostly just for shock value. Still a great movie up to that point but I think your mileage may vary depending on how you interpret/feel about that ending.

I quite liked Blackout despite it's admittedly obvious low budget. It's thematic depth and gore wasn't half bad. I also thought it was a genuinely neat idea to use lycanthropy as metaphor for alcohol addiction (note the liquor consumed every time he 'blacks out' / 'becomes a monster'). The social commentary was a bit more direct/ham-fisted but I didn't hate it.

Here for Blood was just delightful, campy dumb fun. It's basically Evil Dead with a wrestler protagonist. There's at least a handful of really good gags with some solid mileage.

At the time I'm writing this Alien Romulus is probably tied for my personal top spot even with the iffyness around Rook (I understand Fede Alvarez reached out to Ian Holm's family, I also know his family and friends said he would've loved it and it honours his place in the franchise, it's just really distracting ya know?)

It's easily the best after Alien and Aliens even with that blemish - the themes around immigration under capitalism/bureaucracy is a strong one and an angle not really explored yet in the series, it's cool seeing the coal miners and the really bottom rungs of Weyland-Yutani society and how they struggle. At least Ripley was part of a flight crew. Also Rain and Andy (especially Andy) are interesting new characters and give stellar performances and that ending did the impossible and made me feel like Prometheus maybe sort of belongs with the rest of the franchise. I'm excited to see where they take it next.

Maxxxine was a pretty solid closer, but I think Pearl edges it out. It just had a bit of funky pacing, and pulled its punches more than I expected. The ending though was pretty rad, coalescing around the series-long theme of fantasy encroaching on reality and addiction. Spoilers ahead: In X and Pearl, Maxine and Pearl's pursuit of fame is the fantasy they're trying to make reality, and Maxine's coke addiction reflects her obsession with stardom. It does much the same here in Maxine's finale where she has two dream sequences. I think the first implies she feels she doesn't deserve the fame as she sins and executes her (admittedly murderous cult leader) father saying her father's mantra of 'a life I don't deserve' after imagining an absurdly large premiere for her B-movie. The second is right after she completes her film, and I think it's meant to be her realizing that stardom/fame is a high she'll be constantly chasing to fleeting returns like her coke (she does one more bump in her trailer right before wrapping filming), the pertinent line here is 'I just wish it would never end'.

Oddity was fun, and a pretty good slowburn. I just wanted more use of the cursed items. The film teases us with a menagerie of Darcy's oddities but we only see her use two in her revenge plot. Those two items of course have exceedingly creepy results but it's still a smaller payoff than what I had hoped for.

Infested scared the shit out of me, and I would not reccomend it to fellow arachnaphobes. That said it is a good film. There's a clear, if blunt allegory here around bigotry (infested are the spiders but they're also the residents of this public housing complex). There's a standout terrying sequence involving a chase, a crank flashlight and some massive fucking spiders. I felt my chest tighten during this whole scene (well I mean during the entire movie really)

In a Violent Nature was really quite good, and was a more palatable piece of experimental filmmaking compared to last year's Skinamarink. The central conceit this time is what if we followed the slasher's perspective in a slasher film? Also the ending of this one was very fascinating so...more spoilers! Our final girl is rescued by a passing trucker who tells a story of her brother being attacked by a wild 'bear' in these woods and how sometimes animals don't really have a reason for what they do, basically comparing Johnny to the brutality of nature itself. The entire time our trope-focused brains are expecting a jump-scare that never comes, essentially putting us into the traumatized shoes of this poor final girl. Johnny also subverting expectations seemingly does rest after completing his quest for the necklace, and doesn't pop out for any final surprise showdown. Leaving it ambiguous as to whether he's simply a brutish force of nature or has some level of acuity to him.

Well, Longlegs is emerging in the top 3 with Romulus and Abigail. Longlegs starts off as a grimy 90s set detective thriller (something like Seven, or Silence of the Lambs) but quickly morphs into something with far more 'legs (bad joke I know). That initial act, is supposed to set you up to shock you when supernatural elements start coming into play, but there's enough weirdness early on to mitigate the tonal shift. In the best possible way, this feels like a big budget X-Files or Twin Peaks episode. Maika Monroe, Blair Underwood, Alicia Witt and Nicolas Cage all give committed fascinating performances. The depth of the acting is equally matched by the thematic depth of the story, parental-child conflict that's just so juicy. Lee's mom in particular is interesting in how she feels justified in doing what she does to 'protect' Lee. T-Rex rules, this movie rules, and there's a solid undercurrent of dark comedy.

So I'm going to tackle Terrifier 1-3 as one entry as it's an entire series I watched this year. Terrifier 1 I'd say was mediocre outside of David Howard Thorton as Art himself who was menacing and hilarious in equal measure, sometimes within the same scene. Besides that though, the plot was relatively non-existent and it lacked much in terms of character. Victoria, at least in this outing, was barely a character let alone a compelling final girl. The second movie however improves upon these weaknesses while keeping the good. This one actually had a pretty great, fantasy infused, sometimes surrealist story about a demon clown versus a prophesized maybe Nephilim figure in Sienna. Her brother, Johnathan, is also a sympathetic figure and is sort of representative of young men who are struggling silently with mental health, as authority figures constantly ignore his honest pleas for help throughout the movie. Both Sienna and Johnathan are also grappling with the loss of a loved one in their apparently mentally unstable father (who may have had visions of Sienna's ascension as an angelic figure to thwart Art), and adds to this theme or perhaps I'm giving the film too much credit. Regardless, this was a far more balanced, and enjoyable entry. Terrifier 3, finally, keeps up the higher quality y of 2, while dialing back a bit on the fantasy and bringing back some of the grit of the first film. Tonally, this is maybe the best of the bunch and you can clearly see Leone's improvement as a filmmaker across the series. Despite maybe his biggest flaw, that being not perhaps the best at editing and cutting down scenes, still being present. I also really enjoyed Sienna's battle with PTSD from the last film (and honestly just continue to dig her as a character, she's definitely one the better modern final girls we've had).

Speaking of Terrifier, I also watched Stream. While not directed by Damien Leone, it did have his VFX work in it for the kills. There's not much to speak to in terms of the plot, and is in many ways, a no frills slasher film but it is that back to basics approach that works in its favour. It also has like Wishmaster before it, a stacked cast of horror royalty including Jeffrey Combs, Danielle Harris, Tony Todd and more. I did really love the setting of a hotel locked down for a murder stream, as it works effectively as a thematically peaceful location thrown into turmoil.

Salem's Lot was really not good. I DNF it about thirty minutes in. The only enjoyable part of it was the giallo-inspired lighting which was admittedly a cool choice but when the characters, the mood, the setting, etc. all feel incredibly hallow then it doesn't really matter all that much.

VHS Beyond was another great entry in a series that's been on a hell of a run since VHS '94. This time, the shorts are all centered around science fiction concepts. For me, my favourites were easily the opening action horror segment with the monster hunting SWAT team, and the plane crash set-piece. That was truly unreal given the limitations these films generally set on themselves.

The Substance is the true heir to the Cronenberg body horrors of yore. Demi Moore gives a heartbreaking performance, the effects are insane, the plot even more insane. The scene with the reflection in the door knob is tragic and horrifying and will stick with me. Goddamn this movie was good.

2024's Nosferatu film was maybe Robert Eggers best yet. The new prologue, and the additional themes make it more of a tale of a survivor confronting the looming shadow of their childhood abuser. The attention to historical accuracy and detail, like all of Eggers films, was appreciated and left us with a very unique take on Orlok. The use of shallow focus, muted colours and candle lighting in a number of scenes worked wonders for making this an extremely atmospheric film. There were scenes I wanted framed in my house. This movie is gorgeous. Additionally the cast kills it. Just absolutely demolishes their roles, in particular Nicholas Hoult and LIly Rose-Depp. Their performances are a wild mixture of love, shame, grief, and rage and it's a wonder to watch.

Films not from 2024:

The Exorcist 3

The Exorcist : Believer

Frankenstein (1931)

Beau is Afraid

Watcher

Nosferatu (1922)

Jennifer's Body

Night of the Hunter

Creep

Thanksgiving

The Night House

Gamera : Guardian of the Universe

Don't Look Now

Cure

Terrifier 1

Terrifier 2

The Witch Part 1: Subversion

Frankenstein's Army

Lord of Illusion

Bride of Frankenstein

Sleepy Hallow

Urban Legend

The Collector

The Collection

Thanksgiving was a really fun whodunnit slasher and definitely a more accessible Eli Roth film than his usual fare. Still has some punches of brutal gore spread throughout though.

The Exorcist 3 has a lot of dialogue but so much of it is so captivating that a scene can go by with nary a scare and you'll still be entertained by the performances.

Watcher by Chloe Okuno was a bit of a sleeper hit for me. It was pretty much a riff on Rear Window, but was actually up to the task. A taut thriller, with another really great Maika Munroe role.

The Night House may be my new favourite David Bruckner directed feature, and holy shit that Rebecca Hall performance? Unreal

I did really enjoy Jennifer's Body but perhaps it's because I saw it first but as far as Diablo Cody-written films go, I did prefer Lisa Frankenstein. There was still quite a bit to enjoy here. The comedy did feel a little crueler though, which depending on your mood can be good or bad. I think I was just in the mood for something a bit lighter and was taken off-guard by how much was surprisingly poignant in this film. Great movie regardless.

Beau is Afraid was an incredibly indulgent, surrealist horror that was perhaps the most anxious film I've ever seen. Deeply upsetting and unsettling, this was yet another Ari Aster joint. Is it his best? Maybe not, but it's absolutely worth watching.

I finally got around to watching The Collector/Collection series and it did not disappoint. It's a bit darker and came in the wake of Saw, but unlike that franchise hasn't overstayed its welcome. Both entries are solid, and a bit more campy/fun. This series also gives you a well-developed, fun protagonist to follow in Arkin. Even if we never get a third entry, the two films that are here are great. The first is basically a cat-and-mouse tense duel between Arkin whose robbing a house to pay off his famlily's debts and the serial killer occupying it the same night. The second follows a rescue operation meant to free one of The Collector's victims, and Arkin is brought along as their guide. Keep in mind though if you check this one out there's a trigger warning around animal death. I was able to handle it mostly due to the absurdity of it (acid death, the cat was pretty obviously a puppet prop, dog exploded into giblets) but it is intended to be a bit darker than something like say, Malignant.

Frankenstein's Army was pretty rad and had just a treasure trove of great practical effects. The creatures are really inventive here and are more or less the star of the show in an otherwise relatively conventionally structured found footage movie.

Lord of Illusion is another fun Clive Barker film, like Nightbreed, but with a detective played by the incredible Scott Bakula in pursuit of a case involving an illusionist, the illusionist's wife and a cult in the desert. Like all Barker films and stories, it's weird, the good kind of weird and has some really fun vibes. I mean, it's a seedy underbelly society of wizards? What's not to love.

Terrifier 1 and 2 I already discussed above so we'll skip over those here.

Urban Legend is another great slasher from the 90s that came in the wake of Scream. Interestingly I watched it around when I saw Stream and like that film it's clearly a love letter to the genre as it features both Robert Englund and Brad Douriff and both are great in their all too brief appearances. The film is a very fun whodunnit with murders planned around famous urban legends like 'the person in the backseat' or some sort of hanging one I've never heard of. The cast is pretty great and understand the assignment, and it's definitely a solid contender in the same league as say, I Know what you did last summer.

I liked but didn't love Don't Look Now as while the performances were exceptional and Donald Sutherland is exceptional as always, and the film has great tension. It felt a little padded out to me, or I just did not feel out the pacing as well as I would've liked. Still, a really intriguing film though, and that image of the raincoat was very striking. Definitely recommend it for Sutherland though as he makes for an excellent father trapped in his grief.

Bride of Frankenstein was somehow even better than the first film, despite only really being the latter half of the novel and a few additions. Those additions are quite interesting though because Dr. Pretorius puts a mirror up to the good Dr. himself, and illustrates that while Henry may have had folly in creating life, he had something of a moral code, and a sense of some ethics. Pretorius, meanwhile, is more than willing to manipulate everyone given his "my one weakness" speeches. That ending is heartbreaking and moving, wow.

Nosferatu (1922) holds up better than Dracula '31 which I feel isn't a hot take but maybe mild at best. It had a larger influence on cinema as a whole I think. The rising out of the coffin sequence is iconic.

Night of the Hunter is elevated by Robert Mitchum's terrifying preacher serial killer and its dreamlike atmosphere. It's dark fairytale stylings almost remind me of a Del Toro film if it were maybe decades ago. The child actors also do a surprisingly convincing job for what they had to do. The basement scene will be etched into my brain for a LONG time.

Cure is a haunting mystery-thriller in a similar vein to Silence of the Lambs with a bit more of an occultist lean. Kurosawa's use of long, tracking shots gives the film a bit of a patient, meditative feel which works in contrast to our explosive protagonist. Like it's antagonist, the film's dialogue can have a hypnotizing quality to it and the film lingers in the mind long after.

TV:

SurrealEstate S1-2

True Detective : NIght Country

Parasyte: The Gray

SurrealEstate is a low budget Canadian series about a realtor who sells haunted houses genrally dealing with the spirits haunting said abode. It's got a case-of-the-week structure but generally serves well above it's punching weight. It doesn't hurt that a fair number of episodes in both seasons have been directed by Danishka Esterhazy, the director behind the Banana Splits movie, and the Slumber Party Massacre remake, both pretty fun B-horror projects.

True Detective : Night Country is absolutely incredible, blogged about it already but I really loved Issa Lopez's direction and the story's use of magical realism and surrealism.

Parasyte: The Gray expands the manga/anime franchise to a concurrent invasion taking place in Korea. Tonally and thematically, they nailed it.

Books/Comics:

A Lush and Seething Hell

In particular, that second novella is incredible. It's subversive ending was truly devastating and left me thinking about it long after. But both are fantastic slices of cosmic horror.

The Hollow Places by T. Kingfisher

I seen one person online describe The Hollow Places as 'The Gilmore Girls meets horror' and I'm pretty sure they meant it in a reductive way but that's fuckin' awesome.

Video Games:

Signalis

Withering Rooms

Crow Country

Anodyne

Still Wakes the Deep

Signalis is games as art in the best way, it is beautiful and moving and horrifying in ways that are unimaginable. On my first playthrough I got the 'Promise' ending which I felt was a brutal but beautiful ending given the dystopian setting. Also, hell of a romantic story. I've said this before in relation to films like Shape of Water and Spring, but horror and romance pair together better than you might think.

Withering Rooms released into 1.0 this year, and oh boy, this game is one of those types that at one point only existed in the mind of an overly excitable fan of the genre. It borrows essentially the best parts of Clock Tower, Dark Souls, Castlevania, Silent Hill, and roguelikes and somehow becomes greater than the sum of its parts. Incredibly, it feels both nostalgic and fresh at the same time and this OST is batting way above average. This might be my personal game of the year.

Crow Country is incredible, and makes for a great survival horror entry point. Some really cool environmental themes and world-building that go in truly unique directions. As a bonus, the chunky block people made the ol' brain-box think of Final Fantasy 7 and it felt weirdly cozy for a horror game.

Definitely didn't expect to add Anodyne to the year-end rap-up when I started playing it. I didn't know that this cute looking Zelda clone had so much surreal horror. There's bosses experiencing suicidal ideation and Youngtown seems to be an expression of violent thoughts. I get the game seems to be some commentary on grief/trauma/depression of some kind, but does anyone else feel the line about something from the stars towards the end + all the talk about The Seeing One seem to imply some eldritch horror? or is it just me. I think something can be an allegory and have a more direct plot going on at the same time. This game was a total blast for the 9 or so hours it took to beat.

Okay, while I don't have a fully rounded perspective on Still Wakes the Deep as I haven't finished it yet, what I have played has been wonderful. It's somewhat of a walking sim, with a bit more gameplay. Namely a number of stealth segments -- the game manages to be quite tense and horrifying. It's basically Scottish The Thing, and boy what a fun premise that is. There seems to be a number of themes of corporate overreach, and environmental damage -- the implicit creatures being some sort of response to these actions, and I'm a sucker for pro-worker themes so I think Still Wakes the Deep will be a favourite of mine in the end.

[heliconcarpet]

Any Port in a Storm

Pic source ²

Chapter : 3 of 5 ( 1 | 2 )

Relationship : Trafalgar Law x Gn!Reader childhood friend

Summary : Timeline goes into post-marineford, right after Heart Pirates placed Luffy and Jinbe in the safest place under the Kuja Kingdom. And also, it's a pre-Rocky Port accident for Law's warlords title.

.

The sun, as Shachi just said, has a job to melt his skin and his crew mate's furry skin. It's a New World climate after all, what would he complain about then? He only accepted those oddities and survived.

" I'd like to meet Amazon Lily's female bear ..." Bepo slumps himself on the deck, tongue slightly out, feeling the wind wash his sweat away.

He wasn't joking because he had been soaked hard in sweat since the days before he entered the Amazon Lily.

" Told you, Bepo, no female bear in there! The only female human available! " This time, Shachi said to him. He and Bepo enjoyed the cool wind.

The topic they talked about was still the same. Polar Tang has been out of the Kuja Kingdom's area. Personally, for Law, it's been an odd couple of weeks. First, he met Mugiwara and saved his dear life, second it was Silver Reyleigh who came to visit and mentioned something about 'the storm'. Law, though 'the storm' is indeed about the role of the Ds, counts him in. His brain began to roll out, think, think, and make a plan. It's all he remembered that one of the factories at Sabaody belonged to Joker, aka Doflaminggo. So he made a bold decision to destroy Doflaminggo's black market, and the rest would be up to Kaidou the yonkou to face Doflaminggo's damage. But first things first, he needs full access to visit the hidden laboratory in Punk Hazard. What should he do then? The plan that is going on.

" Law, what would we face next? " Penguin stands beside Law. He was curious to see what kind of plan Law would come up with but Law only stared at the sea horizon, unbothered. Penguin thinks how deep in thought Law now is.

" I think I'm going into a personal mission. However I must build it well so I could get a smooth execution. For now, we are heading to the next town because I need some supplies for medical journals. "

" We had already depleted our herb supplies. If I'm not mistaken, Law, there's a good medical antique shop somewhere on a spring climate island. " Penguin's suggestion just grabbed Law's attention. He had heard about the famous medical supply store in the New World area. It somewhat fits with Penguin's explanation of how the location is exactly on a spring climate island.

" Got it, we'll go there then. Grab your notes and better yet, check twice how many items need to be supplied. I will check the log pose. " Said Law places his firm grip on Penguin's shoulder.

" Shachi, Bepo, prepare all the crews. Do check our stuff before Polar Tang reaches the next town! It's an order. " Law eyeing these two guys before leaving the deck immediately.

.

The rest of the crews completed the log pose check as dusk approached on the horizon. Today's conclusion is made as it took five days straight to reach the spring climate island. Law just hopes that the unexpected climate in the New World doesn't bother them too much. At least everything must go well with the plan, or another backup plan, Law plans. He's a mastermind, as usual.

The door was closed by Law. He walked slowly to the work chair, resting his sore back and neck. A study desk in front of him has never been empty without a bunch of papers, or books. The medical books were larger than Law's head. Back when he was eight years old, a tiny boy clumped himself into a huge encyclopedia where it got paid by you. Yes, you. Many years ago, a small memory had always been safe in the back of his mind, inside his hippocampus. It is supposed to be thirteen years or so since post-Flevance, sixteen years after you moved from the White Town and by those years without him forgetting your existence. He wondered it a lot when the world got quiet, or when he stared blankly at the night sky. In Law's hippocampus, a room he puts memories safely, it has been you and Cora-san existences.

Law's hand unconsciously reaches something under the pile of thick medical journals. It's his notebook, it is covered with a blue thin leather material. He used to scribble his mind through it, mostly the medical rant analysis and on other days he just kept a simple journaling. He flips page by page, ironing the slightly crumpled paper until he finds what his unconscious mind has searched for. Law hands it with extra care, at first it's just a common stuff for bookmarked pages, however to him having dried daisies as a bookmark was something else.

A one daisy contains the bucket of daisies memories, a bucket that has never been delivered to you. From the North Blue to the New World, it almost like an instinct for Law to tracked your footstep traces, in every island he first stepped into, in each corners of the town he visited, even once he had wander off from the crew and found random bookstore that he only wished your back was able to get reached. Oftentimes, he met a dead end.

While Law's thought swims in and out back to the past, there were busy movement outside, " Captain, dinner's ready! come out or I clean over the curry before you! ". Bepo's hurry voice just snapped Law back to present time, he sighed deeply and put down the dried daisies on one page of his blue notebook, closes it neatly.

Perhaps, all words Law had muttered which contains your name weren't reached you, like a wave hadn't never been reached the shore. Sometimes the amount of self conclusion Law has made surprises him much.

.

A hustle bustle dinner just passed. Apparently, Penguin made a little improvisation for tonight's curry recipe. He added a pile of bananas into it, blended until it got smooth enough to be mixed on broth. Law thought it had quite a brilliant taste since it could be called an experimental recipe. Now everyone's tummies are full, they sometimes get back in their rooms or just gather around in the kitchen pantry after cleaning the dishes. Somehow Law needs fresh air, so during the dinner he told everyone to surface Polar Tang for hours. He really needs a very good distraction after dinner. A breeze at night air often calms his hectic mind down.

The yellow submarine just surfaced and Law goes outside to the upper deck of Polar Tang, as he predicted, tonight's sea wind is quite strong. The wind already blew his capuchon away, his hair got messy in an instant. Law tightened his cobalt blue jumper lace on both sides. It would be an unwise decision if he kept his signature hat lying on top especially in these hours. Even though the wind gushes hard, the waves are quite calm. The waves bathed in moonlight, tonight's moon seems to be a full moon but it turns out to be a waxing gibbous phrase. A phrase known as symbolizing the concept of 'final steps'. It is a time for people to strive to complete their projects, just as the moon 'strives' to become full. Somehow the moon concept matches with Law's solo mission as well, it only a matter of time to get complete.

Speaking about a favourite spot in Polar Tang, Law has always had one. The spot is behind the Polar Tang lamppost, everyone who stole their captain's favourite spot would move when they caught Law near the spot. He used journaling here or just spent a nap time, hinds himself from the noises. Law's mind, as usual, had a busy circuit to plan this and that. He had enough of a familiar sense of trial and error, although it aims for many possibilities to come.

" Cora-san, what would you say to me if you were here? "

Law throws the question up for the night sky above him. A million of twinkling stars stared back at him. He wonders if Cora-san has been living side by side with his family. They were in there, dancing amongst the stars and you probably lived with them as well. A white noise sound from the sea wave crashing the submarine made Law's eyes blinked heavily. His gaze now straight to the moths doing phototaxis around the lamppost. He wrapped more tight his crossed arms when an unattended wind slaps his face. He closes his eyelids to shut, letting the auditory system enjoy the surrounding noises. But then, a faint voice came near Law's current spot.

" Captain, time's up. It's already past an hour, go get some sleep. '' said Penguin. He grabs Law's left shoulder and waits for the response. A guy who should respond only gives Penguin a small nod. Law can hear Penguin sighed at him.

" Law, come on."

This time it is Law's turn to sighed back, he raises the arse to up and lets Penguin drag him to come inside of the Polar Tang.

___________________

.

Note :

Writing about Law's quiet hours has been my fav so far. I felt at ease studying characters such as Law's vulnerable side, and how he embraces the past like any broken tape that replays over and over. I'd like to remain convinced that a bond between Law and Rosinante was unshakeable throughout time 🕊��

[taki118]

Go Watch the Venture Brothers

So just heard the complete and utter Bullshit news that Adult Swim has cancelled one of (if not the best shows) they have the Venture Bros. This series is one of those shows that for WHATEVER reason never got to the level of fandom Rick and Morty has even though they’ve been at the genre parody game longer and in my opinion better. 

The series is about Rusty Venture former boy adventurer and failing super scientist who in an attempt to keep his head above water in debt goes around with his two boys Hank and Dean, and bodyguard Brock on misadventues while various legal archnemisis go after him, such as the Monarch. 

So if you never watched or never heard of this 7 season series let me give you a break down on why you should, 

1) Art Style & Animation

Venture bros is one of those rare Adult aimed animated series that that really truly tries to utilize their medium to the best of their abilities. Season 1 had like such a small budget and corners had to be cut so it can be a little hard to watch at times. 

But with each passing season they get a little better, a little more fluid, go just a little harder and it truly feels rewarding to watch. Like seeing an artist you follow online improve over the years. Like they COULD have stayed with the choppy and stiff animation from season 1 it fit right in with its fellow adult animated shows but it didn’t. They strove for quality to have something that matched the story they were telling.

2) The Writing 

Venture Bros has some of the tightest and consistently great writing of ANY serialized show I’ve seen, adult, animated or other wise. Wanna know why? Cause it’s all done by TWO people (save for like one ep each season where one other person is allowed to touch their baby). Yeah TWO people and they work their asses off every season to interject, humor, refrences, parody, plot and character development in equal measure. 

3) Character Development

Um yes in case you were wondering that’s right an adult animated show has CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT  that holds as the series goes on. Not to give spoilers but characters will go through changes in alignment, relationships will develop and change, some characters will go through negative arcs where they are straight up unbareable for a season before coming out the other side even better than they were before. There is no end of epsiode or even end of season reset. Characters, settings, and dynamics all change over the course of the show and it feels just so god damn good.

4) Story Development 

Just like the characters the story of the Venture Bros grows and changes each season. Things that are set up even as early as season one are paid off as the series goes on. Like not to be that bitch but you know how RIck and Morty teases an overarching plot ALL THE TIME but like will often just spit in the face of fans hoping for more than like one episode a season addressing it? Yeahhhhhhh that doesnt happen here, fans are consistently rewarded for putting the time in to rewatch and really think about what happened in the series. Characters that are seen in the background or are just referenced by other characters will be brought in to be recurring characters, things that start off as a small detail or gag will be given larger relevance and each time they do this you get that “OH I remember that from last season! So thats what it was!” The writers WANT you to rewatch, they WANT you to analyze and they WANT you to theorize, and they give you a show that gives back the time you put in.

5) Parody & Reference 

This series does a great thing with parody. They make real characters  who are just as enjoyable as the characters they parody, they make story lines that both poke fun at the absurdity of the media but shows the writers love for it. So often parody and references are just used to mock the thing but with Venture Bros you feel the love and care so when you know the thing being parodied you can laugh but feel good about laughing cause they are never laughing at a thing maybe you cared for in your youth but rather laughing with it.

And it’s never just one thing. When they parody a thing its often layered with other things to make it even more unique. Scooby-Doo is overlayed with famous criminals, Laura Croft is mixed Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, GI Joe is given the look of the Village People and so on. They never go for the easy joke or reference. Hell theres an episode that starts with them reciting the lyrics to David Bowies Space Oddity for really no reason other than they could. They weave these things in naturally with their setting and characters so nothing feels out of place. Like if you dont catch a reference or parody you dont feel like “I think this isa reference to something?” like a LOT of things do not just adult animated shows. You arent taken out of the moment cause it all feels so natural. 

6) The Characters 

God damn these characters, I could go on for hours about these characters. From main to one off these are some of the most likeable characters you can find. I mean it when I say I can’t think of a single character I wish they had cut cause they are all so well created. Even the ones I hate i have fun hating cause they were made to be that way. I’ll be good though I’ll only talk about my absolute top faves.

- The Monarchs

You ever sit and wish villain couples could have functional  healthy relationships? Well look no further than Malcom Fitzcarraldo aka The Monarch and Dr. Shelia Girlfriend (yes that is her last name). The Monarch is a high strung impulsive saturday morning cartoon villain whos tendency to over react is only matched by his unspecified hatred of Dr. Venture. And Dr. G is his nonsense partner in crime who will cut a bitch if they don’t play by their admittedly weird rules. Both characters are great on their own but are better together. Though that doesnt mean they always get along. Like a real couple they have their ups and downs they fight, break up, make-up and grow stronger in their relationship with each season. 

- Shore Leave

Ok ok so I want you to imagine James Bond, mixed with GI Joe simmering in a cocktail of the most flamboyant gay men you have ever seen and you have one of my favorite gay characters/characters in general. Shore Leave is a member of OSI (the shows SHEILD/GI Joe parody organization) he’s loud, brash, flippant, sassy and highly competent at his job loving every second of getting to beat bad guys down within an inch of their life. I love seeing him play off the stoic Brock and the two have this great brotherly dynamic that’s never called into question. He also gets to have a very cute romance with Al the Alchemist (who is also great). I could talk about this man all day.

- Dr. Rusty Venture

They did such a good job with this man. He’s a self serving, sexist, perverted, whinny, self important asshole and yet you feel pity and genuine sympathy for him and want him to succeed. You can see how Dr. V was given a raw deal by his father who seemed to care more about his adventures than his sons well being and how this molded him into the bitter man he is today, but on the flip side you can see where he chose to use that as a crutch for his worst behaviors and impulses. Seeing him slowly grow and change and be an actual good father to his boys while all the while still be a giant dick is actually really great. 

- Dr. Byron Orpheus 

Ahhhhh Dr. Orpheus part Dr. Strange Parody part busybody stay at home dad, he’s just such a delight. Dr. Orpheus is a divorcee, with an unfulfilling job of maintaining order to the cosmos (which isnt as hard as one might think), and uses his magical ablities in ways most of us would (ie menial tasks and home chores). Overly dramatic and affectionate Dr. O is a delight whenever he appears, but he’s at his best around his daughter and old friends The Order of the Triad. 

Again I can go on but all these characters ranging from main to recurring are crafted with the utmost care for you to want to see them succeed or fail, to see them again even if you know it’ll never happen, and want them to cross paths with other characters. 

The Venture Bros is one of those series that I will ALWAYS recommend even to the pickiest of humor tastes. But if you don’t believe its as good as I said or don’t think the concept is to your tastes I’ll recommend a few eps that I think best show off the base idea of the series without giving much away. In terms of plot and spoilers, though somethings wont make a lot of sense. 

- S1 ep10 "Tag Sale – You're It!" - Dr. V is having a yard sale so of course all manner of costumed weirdos show up.  - S2 ep5 "Twenty Years to Midnight" - basically a fetch quest around the world to save the planet with daddy issues - S3 ep2 "The Doctor Is Sin" - Again daddy issues but with one of the best recurring characters and a great showcase of the series deeper emotional plots - S4 ep6 "Self-Medication" - Really embraces the parody as Rusty goes to a former boy adventurer support group.  Anyway the show is 7 seasons with 80 episodes, please go watch it. I will never forgive @adultswim​ for cancelling what was to be their final season. And in closing GO TEAM VENTURE!

[tatertotthethot]

The Doms Next Door 2.0

THIS IS A TEMPORARY REUPLOAD FOR THIS CHAPTER CUZ TUMBLR IS RAN BY A BUNCH OF BOTS. 2.1 HERE

Warnings/AN: frequent, casually cursing; comical, gay Jimin; insecure reader; steamy flirting; tattoo/sexualized Tae 🙃. Enjoy~ (TAEKOOK EDIT ABOVE IS ARTKOOK DONE BY NONCONMAN ON INSTAGRAM)

copyright © 2018 all rights reserved

_________________________________

Your tires came to a stop outside of the tattoo shop you've seen online— a brick building, covered in spray paint and street-style art. A sign buzzed over the awning of the entrance doors, with the built-in UV lights and graffiti-styled font displaying the name of the place in neon-red letters. Kink For Ink! The name alone was what first caught your attention last week, when you Googled "Tattoo shops near me" and it pulled up a list, with "Kink For Ink" being the first option. It just seemed so uncanny and fitting at the time, considering the previous run-in you just had with the sex-crazed neighbors a couple nights before. You couldn't help but to click the link to their Instagram.

A profile came up with 53.4k followers, which immediately blew your mind... but you quickly saw why. Every tattoo and piercing, no matter the body-placement, skin-type, or quirky design, was vividly appealing— certainly done by the articulate hands of certified experts. Even in the comments of the piercings that were posted, people were praising them for the "minimal" amount of pain they experienced, despite the fact that some of piercings were done in places you couldn't even fathom the thought of having a needle jammed through.

It said in the bio that the shop is owned by the two artists that work there— Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jungkook. You couldn't find out much about them, all their pictures showed was their work. You even went back to search for a personal account of their own, but nothing came up. You then went back to the bio and clicked a link to the official website, hoping to find out something, but you were met with a disclaimer rule at the top that automatically deemed your chances of even getting your piece done by them, slim-to-none.

• No walk-ins allowed.

• Every request/idea must be sent in through the DMs of our Instagram page. You will only be accepted only if it spikes our personal interests.

Yikes; You were instantly discouraged by this. The piece you wanted was something so common and cliché, that you actually got the image out of a child's coloring book.... It was the cartoon layout of the glass vase and enchanted rose, from the Beauty and the Beast movie. Cheesy, yes. But it was something of personal, nostalgic value. You remember when you were little— roughly around 3 or 4 years of age— when your parents started fighting and would spend all day screaming and throwing things at each other, putting you in a constant state of anxiety. But then you'd go to bed at night and pop the VHS tape, and the movie never failed to put you in a peaceful state of mind— a hopeful one. It's remained as your all-time favorite love story throughout the years. Which, is ironic, considering that the relationship itself was different, but almost as dysfunctional as your parent's. However, the fact that even the Beast was capable of change, and everything wound up so perfect and happy in the end, makes your heart happy. And even now, at age 19, it still puts you in your feelings. The previous remake of a movie is what actually inspired you to get the enchanted rose as a tattoo, after seeing it in 3D not too long ago. But you're only willing to shell out up to $200 for it, at most. You've just started college, and even though Jimin's parents own the house and let the two of you live there, rent free, you're still responsible for half the utility bills from month to month. Blowing every bit of money you have saved up, right at the start of the semester, would just be irresponsible. But $200 was manageable, and you're looking for anything that'll give you a little extra "oomph" to break you out of this introverted shell you've always known. Pushing it off would just delay it, and you were ready for change. The nose piercing you want is just a small little thing that'll hopefully add a bit of flare to the features of your face. These two guys could probably do the piercing/tattoo with a blindfold on and a hand tied behind their back. So, if it meant that you'd be able to get these things done in confidence, without having to worry about the outcome, you figured it wouldn't hurt for you to at least ask, even if they straight-up ignore you. So, after spending an unnecessary amount of time overthinking the wording of your text, you finally constructed a message in your notes and DM'd it to business page, after sending them a small, simple outline of the cartoony rose, and pressed send.

• You: Hello! I've been wanting to get this tattoo done for a very while now, and was hoping one of you will be willing to do it for me... along with piercing my nose? I know it's a very mediocre and cliché piece, and a nose piercing can be done anywhere. But I'm new to the area and I've never gotten a tattoo/piercing done before and I haven't really checked out any other places either because I found this page first. And from what I can see, you guys are pretty efficient and CRAZY talented. So, I trust it'll get done right.... only if you want to! I'm willing to pay $200 for this, but if it costs that much for just the outline I've sent then that's fine as well. But I understand if neither of you want to do it cuz that is really cheap compared to the ones I've seen lol. But either way, thx for ur time 😁

A few minutes went by and you had just unlocked your phone to check the message again, when the word "seen" popped below the message. You held your breath for a second— but seconds turned to minutes, and time went by with no reply, what-so-ever. You figured maybe you sounded a little too immature to take seriously; kind of like a prepubescent 12-year-old asking someone out for a dance... and you blew it. Which was disappointing, but predictable. So fuck it. Maybe it's a sign; you shouldn't get it after all.

11pm rolled around, many hours later. You were now hiding beneath your covers, beginning your "amateur threesome" exploration on PornHub. You were ready to see what this whole "2 guys, 1 girl" thing was all about. But just when you were about to type it into the search bar, you were interrupted by an Instagram notification dropping down from the top of your screen.

"KinkForInk sent you a message."

You audibly gasped, eyes turning to saucers as you clicked on the notif and switched over to the Instagram app.

• KinkForInk: Hi (Y/N). This is Tae, one of the artists of the shop. The tattoo you sent in is worth roughly $100... but I want to run an offer by you in hopes that you'll be interested.

— Your brows scrunched in oddity, stomach fluttering. An offer? For you?

• You: Okay, sure. What's that?

• KinkForInk: I've been looking for someone willing to showcase the custom design I've come up with, specifically for a much more... exclusive version of the Beauty and the Beast tattoo you sent. And if you'd be down for letting me and my partner put it on you, it'll be free. No charge. BUT you'll also have to sign a contract saying that you'll do a little bit of modeling for us once it's done. You think you'd be in to doing something like that, even if you get it?

— Your head spun for a second, reading the message over and over again until you could fully wrap your mind around what he was saying.

• You: Hold on... YOU wanna put a tattoo on ME so that I model for you? And it's FREE? Are you sure about this? I'm not even model material lol.

• KinkForInk: Yes, yes, and yes, you are. You'd be perfect for this.

• You: How do know that? Is it a face tattoo? Cuz I only have 6 selfies on here and you can't see anything past my shoulders.

—"Seen" came up as soon as you hit send, but a couple of minutes rolled by with no reply to the message, nor was he even typing. Maybe you came off a little rude. But it was already sketchy and it was a logical question.

— An image suddenly popped up: a screenshot of your Facebook profile. Then another— and much to your horror, it was the photo Jimin tagged you in last week, when the two of you were swimming at a local community pool. You were wearing a simple two piece, sitting at the foot of the lawn chair Jimin was also sitting in, as his legs were visible on either side of you and his lap was practically framing your ass. The photo was at an upward angle and looked so scandalous— but really, you had just asked Jimin to put sun screen on your back and he didn't want to stand up because the pavement was too hot against his bare feet. But you actually liked the picture at the time; it was just a silly joke and your ass actually looked quite nice from that angle. Plus, everyone knows nothing sexual actually goes on between the two of you, for obvious reasons. But Taehyung doesn't, so you couldn't help but dreadfully cringe when you saw the caption of the screen shot.

"Babymama 💦🍆"

• KinkForInk: Is this you??

• You: Yes, that's me. The caption is a joke tho... pay no mind to that. But this is like, really happening? You really think it'd look good on me?

— Why that picture though? You couldn't help but wonder.

• KinkForInk: Yes. Like I said, you're perfect for this piece. Are you down to at least see what the tattoo will look like? We don't expect you to be experienced with modeling or anything, but if you listen to us and cooperate, you'll do just fine.

• You: Yes I wanna see, and I'll do the best I can if I decide to get it... I'm just a bit shy, is all.

• KinkForInk: You'll be in good hands. I promise.

• You: Okay... are you going to show me??

• KinkForInk: Can't send it over a message, I don't want it plagiarized or the concept stolen. But the piece itself isn't necessarily crazy or anything, just more creative. I'd be more than happy to show you at my shop some day this week, if you'd be willing to swing by.

• You: Yeah, I can do that. When should I come?

• KinkForInk: Are you available after 5 tomorrow?

• You: I am, I get off at 4:30.

• KinkForInk: Great. Be here by 5:30, and make sure you've eaten in case you like the piece and wanna get started. It's pretty big for a first timer and gonna take a lot of time and patience. It'll have to be done in sessions but I hope you have a fair enough pain tolerance to at least get the outline of it done first.

— It can't be any worse than a bikini wax, you thought, shivering at the memory. That a story for another time. You decided on an alternative scenario.

• You: I give blood from time to time... but that's easy and doesn't really hurt that much. I think I can handle it though... maybe. I honestly don't know lol, I'm sorry 😣. But I can try my best. Can I ask where it's supposed to go?

• KinkForInk: That's okay, I'll work with you. It's supposed to go down the middle of your back. Starts between the center of your shoulder blades, and trails down the length of your spine to your lower lumbar. You'll see how it looks once we transfer a template on your back. But if you don't like it, there will be no hard feelings from my end. I can still do the tattoo you want if that's the case, free of charge just for your time.

• You: Oh no, you don't have to do that! I'd still pay!

• KinkForInk: Not if I don't accept your money. Trust me, I'm not worried about it. The nose piercing is gonna be $30 regardless, though. JK isn't so lenient.

• You: Of course. Will I have to take my shirt and bra off for the tattoo?

• KinkForInk: Yes, and for the pictures once it's done.

— Your mind blanked at that; thumbs froze over the keypad. He was typing again.

• KinkForInk: Don't let that discourage you. Again, you're in good hands. You can bring something to cover your chest. And the pics will be if your back as well.

• You: Okay, I can handle that. So 5:30 tomorrow?

• KinkForInk: Yes, please don't flake on us!

• You: Lol, I won't. I'll be there.

"They're gonna knock us the fuck out and sell our organs to the black market," Jimin declared. He had parked next to you outside of the shop, and was now sitting in the driver seat of his car with his door locked and windows all the way up, refusing to get out. You were standing right outside his door, still having to talk on the phone. "And is this Tae-guy an AllState representative or something?"

Jimin is petty. You wanted him here for moral support— which he's usually reliable for— but this time, he's just plain salty right and doing everything he can to remind you of that. Reason is, he's been begging you to get a matching tattoo with him ever since your 18th birthday, and you've always refused because of what he wanted to get.

Cupcakes. Jimin wanted to get matching cupcake tattoos... in honor of Cupcakke the legend. Sorry, but H E L L no.

You rolled your eyes, growing frustrated. He only has enough time to pop in and confirm that these two aren't gonna kill you, and then he's gotta head home to get ready for work. You were already supposed to be in there. It was 5:33pm, 3 minutes past the time.

"Jimin, you're the one that insisted on coming along! And now you're making me late!" you ranted. "I'm going in without you."

"Hold your horses, hoe! I'm finishing my blueberry slushie," He retorted, sassily bringing the straw to his mouth and loudly slurping it into the phone. He then abruptly flinched away from the straw with a disgusted expression, nostrils flared, body locking up; lips drawing into an air-tight knot that was so extreme and unnatural, it caused an ugly snort to break out of your nose.

He smacked his lips in exaggeration to the taste, face falling back into stone as an eyebrow arched over the top of his aviators; unamused and saltier than before... Like you were at fault for that, too.

"Or... Blueberry-ass, I should say."

That forced another giggle out of you as Jimin stiffly rolled his window down, phone still pressed to his ear and eyes still scowling at you behind the inspector shades. He bit down on the straw and withdrew it with his teeth before dumping the dark-blue contents of the drink out of the window, making it a point to shake the styrofoam cup empty of every drop before tossing it over his shoulder and into back seat. He then spat the straw out of his mouth with an audible "PLUUUUH!" of a French accent, and waited until the window rolled all the way up again, just so he could hang up the phone. You scoffed at this as you shoved your phone back into your pocket, scornfully watching Jimin exit the car and slam the door behind him. He snatched his glasses off his face as his cotton-candy hair swayed in the breeze, revealing his scornful eyes right back at you as he gestured for you to lead the way in exasperated manner— as if you were the one wasting his time now.

"Go on, lead us to the grave," He shooed, a snippy little shit. You sauntered away, walking up the side of the shop, then paused just before reaching the glass entrance door, when you remembered how much of a coward you are. You've never even stepped into a parlor before, and supposedly, this was a famous one. Which makes it more and more surreal when you think about it.

"Are we doing the mannequin challenge now? Is that what we're doing?" Jimin sardonically inquired.

"You go first, I'm nervous!" You whisper-hissed.

"You don't want me to go in there first— I'll show out," he reasoned, simply stating a fact.

"Please don't," you whined.

"Then, again, I'll show out?" He reiterated, as if to say duh. "How else am I supposed to break the ice? I look like Timmy Turner's Fairy-Gay- Parent."

You gave him a wary look... he's right. You sighed, slightly kicking your foot in distracted defeat. Fuck, you hated making an entrance to new places—

"Hold up— is that Drake?" Jimin suddenly blurted, holding his hand up to silence you. You honed in on the muffled track playing from behind the glass door, and Jimin's face soon light up like a Christmas tree before he spun around you, unstoppable.

"Jimin, NO—!"

"KIKI, DO YOU LOVE ME—?!"

It was already too late. The door was flying back behind him as he Milly-Rocked his way into the shop, leaving you no choice but the chase in behind him.

"—ARE YOU RIDING? SAY YOU'LL NEVA-EVA LEAVE FROM BESIDE ME— hello there."

You were panting, coming to a stop right behind Jimin, where you instantly latched on to the back of his shirt as you met the face of the man behind the studio counter. And, as corny as this is gonna sound: the world actually stilled for a solid beat... or maybe you were in the verge of cardiac arrest.

A pair of glossy-Black eyes looked up at the two of you; A series of silver-studded earrings trailed along the outer cartilages, peaking out beneath a head of soft, layer-swept hair. It was a Carmel-tinted blonde in color— thick and shaggy, and neatly spilling in waves around a headband that proudly sported a high-dollar brand-name you've never seen anyone wear in person before. G U C C I, it read— Meaning that the headband alone was probably worth more than some of your college text books, put together. It sat just a few inches above a pair of dark brows, that oddly brought out the shape of his cat-like eyes— irises like polished marbles. His ample lips had a sharp, well-defined Cupid's-bow, and a natural shade of pink that fit the porcelain appearance of his melanin-kissed complexion, to the finest degree.

And here you are, looking like an actual bum. You had just enough time to clock out of work and head straight over here to make it in time. You didn't even have any makeup on, and the only thing hiding your raggedy hair from those captivating eyes is your old baseball cap from high school. It took a second for him to take the bold presence that was Park Jimin— who was also frozen to the spot as he openly checked the guy out. He was hunched over the counter, a v-neck hoodie covering the rest of him with a thin, loose-fitting material. It was Black and allowed a full visual of his tan neck, and prominent collar bones. And it certainly didn't hide the fact that he had a pair of wide-set shoulders, either. A pencil sat in his hand— one that was laced with masculine veins, and lot of decorative ink. There was a silver ring on his thumb.. and a very heavy-looking Rolex watch.

The man cracked a grin at Jimin— a boxy one that dimpled in at the corners.

"Love the hair," he humorously began, twisting a quirky eyebrow at Jimin. You subconsciously snagged the bill of your hat as your eyes went a little wide at how mature the man's voice was.

"Love the watch," Jimin retorted, then reached around and gripped you by the wrist before pulling you into full view beside him. "You wouldn't happen to be Taehyung...?"

"Mhm," the man hummed, absentmindedly moving his wrist at the mention of his watch. His eyes cut over to you, and you swore you could see a minuscule reflection of yourself in his eyes, before they flashed back at Jimin and blinked. "You must be the babydaddy?"

Blood rushes to your ears. It's really him... a guy who looks like a high-dollar model himself, asking you to be his canvas model. Your own conscious didn't even know what to say right now. So you stayed quiet and still as Jimin took charge... which was a mistake.

"She wishes, but no. I'm the best-friend— and a gay one, at that," Jimin replied, and you knew he did that for his benefit. Thot. "I'm just here to make sure you're not gonna sacrifice her to Satan, or anything of that nature. I need her around in case I ever forget the Netflix password."

Taehyung chuckled at that, mouth opening to reveal a row of teeth shinier than Chip Skylark's. But then, you caught something behind his teeth that caused your gut to leap. A silver ball... a tongue ring. Your thoughts clouded over for a second.

"Well, I can assure you, she's safe with me," he said, looking over at you again. You blinked, nothing more. His brow arched at your lack of response, but this time, it was done more handsomely as he was still smirking at you. "Still, you don't look too thrilled to be here... You sure you wanna do this?"

"She's just nervous because you're really fucking hot," Jimin announced, unyielding. "You should feel how sweaty her hand is."

"Don't listen to him— I'm gay too," You lied in panic, trying to defend yourself from the absolute truth Jimin spoke just then. You snatched your hand away from him and jutted a finger at the door, eyes beading and lid twitching as your nerves ran amuck. "Goodbye, Jimin."

"She's a lonesome hetero," Jimin told Taehyung, assuring him with a face that showed no bluff. "One look at her camera roll, and you'd see for yourself—" You were yanking him away by the arm now, in a tug-of-war game that Jimin obviously could've won if he really wanted to. But he figured you suffered enough and eventually let you drag him out of the shop, waving bye to Taehyung before turning to look at you with beading eyes.

"I think he wants to fuck you— text me as soon as you can," Jimin uttered with unmoving lips as before he walked to his car. You stopped for a second, noticing he was actually being serious. How could he possibly think that he wants to fuck you, just from that small encounter? And what is the odd sensation currently coiling in your stomach? Things grew awkward again when you re-entered the shop, coming to a stand at the same spot... only alone now. He was still amused, it seemed. And so calm and cool despite this odd, intense look in his eyes. It gave him a Casanova effect, where all he had to do was give you that look and it'd instantly make you blush.

"He seems like a fun person to be around," he noted, somewhat honestly, but more so making fun of the red-hot appearance of your face.

"He's a pain in the ass," you muttered, trying to conjure up a smirk but hardly even able to speak properly from how dry your mouth was. It felt like there was a white-hot iron expanding in your throat. "I'm really sorry about him."

"Don't be. I'm just glad you're here— thought you'd chicken out." You nervously wiped your clammy palms over the back pockets of your jeans as Taehyung got up from the barstool behind the counter and approached you on the other side of it, a whole head-and-a-half taller than you. He was wearing black cardigan jeans and matching combat boots.. his headband and jewelry the only thing not black on him. And oddly enough, he made it look fucking fantastic.

"Mh-mm," You hummed, not trusting your voice. You've never needed a sip of water so bad in your life— he even smelled expensive.

"Well, It's very nice to meet you," he formerly began, and you mustered up the normality of placing your (dried) hand into his much larger one, as he held his out to you in greeting. And boy, was he close. So close that the heels of your spine itches to lean back from the proximity.

"It's nice to meet you, too. I'm really sorry if I'm acting weird. I'm just nervous." — Your mind struggled to stay focused on your words, arm tensing at the skin-to-skin contact. You were extra-effected by the firmness in his grip. You really wanted to look down at all the bold ink you saw dashing across the veiny surface of his tanned hand, or see if those were images or scripted letters on the knuckles of lengthy fingers... But you were held captive by those God-blessed eyes... And that fucking tongue ring. It was infecting your head in ways that weren't necessarily healthy for your current state of mind, as you saw it peering in and out at certain words.

"And physically shaking," Taehyung pointed out, brows twitching down at your trembling hand in his as if he was concerned for it. But his smirk gave off an odd sense of fascination to the involuntary symptom, like it was cute or something? Hm. He glanced back up at you, causing your dehydrated throat to bob as his other hand came to clasp over the rest of yours, swallowing it completely from the wrist down. "Intimidated?"

"V-Very," you spluttered, a small slither of saliva copulating down your throat as you looked back up at him. He absentmindedly rolled his tongue ring over the button row of his teeth as he watched you with tainted eyes— undoubtably getting cocky with that damn grin of his and proudly teasing you about your reaction to him. It gratified the effortless sex-appeal he had. You were even beginning to imagine that tongue ring elsewhere, and you literally just met him. Then, as you felt the band of a ring move along with the pad of his thumb as gently ran it across your trembly knuckles, chills shot up all the way to your shoulder. Oh... oh wow. You glanced down at his knuckles on reflex this time, and saw a four-letter word scripted in black ink across the bottom row of his knuckles, and another word scripted on the middle section of his fingers. A silver band on his naked thumb. STAY TRUE, it said.

"And why's that?"

"I.. feel like you're a celebrity," you sheepishly admitted, your other hand wedging into your back pocket as you had to stop yourself from reaching for the bill of your hat again. Is he flirting? The words seem too innocent for the way he was making you feel. It was getting so hot in the oven of his massive palms, and he wasn't even squeezing you hard enough to cut off any circulation, but yet your fingers were beginning to tingle.

"Mm, no. Just a little popular, really," he granted, teetering his head a little as he pondered the thought. You could see his vocal chords contract in his sleek neck as they project his smooth, pungent voice. "You still trust me?"

"Mhm," was all you could muster. He'd gotten even closer, to where his hand had gone into a prayer stance around yours. You were aware of how wide your eyes had gone from the awe you... you knew this was just the beginning. He was going to be very handsy throughout this whole process. But in a very twisted way, you were more than okay with that. Even if it meant you were at risk of fainting from actual dehydration. Maybe you were in over your head. But you couldn't will yourself away from this now. And then, just as a wide, heart-stopping smile edged out on that mind-numbingly handsome face, the door at that back of the room swung open, and heavy-metal rock blasted through the quiet vibe of the scenery and caused you to jump a little at the disturbance. Taehyung shot a wicked smile over his shoulder, and his next words nearly knocked you out right then and there as you beheld yet another, breathtaking sight.

"Oh, there you are," Tae eagerly acknowledged, one hand still holding yours as he walked around to grab your with the other, presenting you to the.. hulking presence in the room. "This is (Y/N), our next little experiment."

[jamestrmtx]

Fairytale Complex - [Undertale | Sans x Reader]

[Gender Neutral, Frisk's Parent Reader | Slow Burn]

Chapter Sixteen | Dummy! (Part 3 of 3)

[First] | [Previous] | [Next]

Dinner is about as awkward as waving back at someone you think's waving at you, only to then realize they're actually waving at someone else.

Frisk stares at your guest from beginning to end, only looking back to their bowl when they’re done with it. They grab a piece of bread and soak up what little soup remains at the bottom and say, “You’re not a bad cook", after. They take a bite off the bread; the rest of it disappears in three more. “Is this ren's way of testing whether you'll be a good boyfriend or not?”

Sans swallows hard and coughs once to recover as he sets his spoon down. “Well, uh… Somethin’ like that, I guess.” He casts a subtle glance at you, his gaze asking for help.

“We’re not dating,” you intervene. You take some soup, but end up throwing it back in the bowl when your hand shakes, too tense to continue eating. “You and Jerry just so happened to walk in at the wrong moment, making it look like something else.”

Frisk frowns, and a dull expression reaches their eyes. “I can tell you’re lying, ren. You’re bad at it.” Their gaze moves back towards Sans, who’s now finished with his bowl and trying to move away from the conversation. “What about you, then? Why’re you chickening out if you still wanna date (Y/N)?” They furrow their eyebrows and glare at the monster. “Why are you-“

“That’s enough, honey.” You stand up and face down at them. “This isn’t his fau-“

“So then, it’s yours?” Their voice breaks as they're the one to rise next; their hands thump over the table and their frown quivers as they attempt not to show any weakness. “He… He flirted with you, so that means he’s also responsible for it!”

“I said that’s enough, Frisk (L/N),” you snap, crossing your arms. “I’m okay with talking about this with you, but not during dinner. And even less when we have a guest over.” You plan to pick up the dishes, though the skeleton beats you to it, excusing himself off to the kitchen. “I’m not dating him, and that's final. That only happened ‘cause we kind of like each other. But I refuse to date anyone until you’re all grown up.”

“You’ll be old by then,” they whine, flailing their arms. “Grandparents can’t date!”

“Yes, they can.” You go along with the ridiculousness of the conversation, too caught up in it to fully assess their words. “And ten more years won’t make me a grandparent! I’m still young.”

Frisk huffs and switches for sign language, saying, “That still doesn’t mean you have to live like this.” They grimace, eyes wetting as they sniffle once. “I like seeing you happy… But right now, this just makes me feel like I'm bothering you.”

Your anger falls with that last sentence; panic replaces it.

In a haste, you try approaching their side, though they run off to their room just as you’re ready to bring them in for a hug. Their steps are quick and the door shuts with a subtle bang, their composure still showing through. You stay in place as their words replay on your mind over and over, gloom arriving. Dismissing them is an impossible feat; your mind continues to subject your thoughts into negativity, restraining you from acting quickly.

If you’d been doing a poor job at raising them this whole time, then what had been the point of it all?

Needing a distraction, you head to the kitchen and join Sans by the sink, no words spoken between you.

He washes the dishes while you dry and store them away, keeping up a rhythmic pace until only the pot’s left. Your gaze focuses on his arms, jacket’s sleeves lifted all the way up to his elbows, revealing the oddity of who you were growing attracted to. His shirt's a bit loose by the neck, presenting you with his collarbones as you spare a peek under it. You're still adapting to the strangeness of having someone look so similar to a human skeleton, yet so different all the same. He could breathe, laugh, move, talk... and even kiss based on first-hand experience. His skull wasn't entirely solid, allowing him to blink, eat, and drink -- besides from what you were thinking of whenever you stared at his face and down at his teeth. You tell yourself it’s wrong to be befriending him, and even worse finding any attraction in him. You’re not sure how to interpret his words from earlier ago, and just what it meant to see him break down like he had.

He’d revealed he disliked who he used to be, but did he remember having said it?

From your experience, moments like those were hard to keep clear.

“Do you… remember what you said to me, Sans?”

His hands stop what they’re doing, one grabbing the knob -- ready to open the faucet -- and the other holding the pot, now coated in suds. He looks up at you, saying, “I cried, didn’t I? Don’t really remember word-for-word, but I know I meant what I said.”

You take a breather before responding with, “Even the part about hating who you used to be?”

Sans turns the knob, letting water pour down. “Yeah.” He nods, heaving out a sigh. “The more I look back and reflect on who I used to be, the more I understand why you don’t trust me.” The pot’s close to overflowing, though he doesn’t notice. You step in and place your hand over his, closing the faucet. Unaddressed tension remains as you stare down at his hand, yet you refuse to let it show, repelled by the idea of taking advantage of his vulnerability. You don’t want to engage in anything like your stay at the hotel again until you sorted out your mind and its jumble of thoughts, nor do you wish to romanticize his self-hatred by fulfilling your wants. “...I, uh, I get it now. And I promise I’ll stop flirtin' now that I know it.”

The monster pulls his hand away and takes the pot with both, emptying the soapy water down the drain. He does it little by little, preventing a flood in the sink. “Did Jerry say something about this?” you ask, taking the pot when he gives it to you. You hang the current towel and take a dryer, cleaner one from the rack. Then, you continue, finishing with the job. “He looked at you weird.”

He chuckles and meets with your eyes. “Maybe ‘cause I was all over you for a second there?”

You glare at him, lips doing the opposite by tugging into a grin, one you try to fight back. “Cut the sarcasm.” You jab his waist, smile growing. “You know what I mean."

“Let him think what he wants to think. I knew you before I knew him, and you guys haven’t been together for years. You’re your own person, and so’s him. If he doesn’t want to keep being friends, then that’s fine with me.”

You glance over to the time on the wall clock, seeing it’s already seven. With the frequent rain, the monster was forced to store his motorcycle away while it cleared out some more, and -- to make up for it -- his brother was now the one to either lend him his car, or take him where he needed to be. In short, letting him go back home would mean calling Papyrus two hours right before his sleep schedule. Either that, or it was sending Sans all alone off to the nearest bus stop.

You settle on neither, saying, "Want to stay over? It's late, and I've got a guest bedroom you can use."

He snickers and replies with, "Worried 'bout me?" When he notices, his grin falls, and he quickly makes up for it by adding, "Sorry. Doing that's pretty much a reflex now."

You smile and swat his shoulder, keeping your hand there. "...I don't really mind you flirting that way. I like it better than when you're straight-up obvious about it."

"Like the Mx. Serif thing?"

"Exactly." You shift on your feet, remembering one of his older comments. "That, and the ones you used to make about my... appearance."

"So you want me to be less invasive," he says, nodding. "Got it." He tries not to look down, a slight tense present in his grin. "I apologize if I ever made ya uncomfortable. I'm surprised you didn't just whack me over the head back then. Feels like I deserved it sometimes."

"Violence is not the answer." You pause, face regaining seriousness. "...Unless you cross borders you shouldn't be crossing."

"Kinda like what happened on the couch today?"

"No." You feel your throat ache the longer you talk with him, still too awkward to relax around him. "...I wanted it back then."

Sans washes his hands and gives you space to do the same. Then, he brings his sleeves down and waits until you're done washing up to accompany you to the living room. "Touch-starved?" he jokes, though you're far from taking it that way.

Seven years.

Not that you were completely, utterly desperate for a relationship, but good company was still good company. You could still use the warmth of someone else, even if it was purely platonic or familiar -- like a tight hug, or just someone else to have around the house. Wanting to depend less on Jerry's support and more on your own funds, you proposed to yourself working extra hours for as long as it was necessary. The rest of your day was either used up in chores or in spending more time with Frisk. It's only now that the monsters help you out with your child and their growth that you have additional time to do stuff like this.

"...Yes," you reply, looking away. "But that can wait."

You excuse yourself and head over to the fridge, needing some water to cure the sudden soreness to your throat; that, and you didn't really want to keep tangling yourself up in that mess.

When you've just about drank more than half a gallon, you stop and take in a deep breath, bringing yourself back to calm.

Regardless of what Frisk and Sans himself had said about living for yourself every so often, you had your set of goals already planned out. Speed-running through a relationship wasn't one, and even less considering the subject's past. You needed to know him and his intentions better before throwing yourself into it -- more than usual.

Two years of pointless arguments between you and Jerry had been enough to last you a lifetime; one of them was even more than pointless, considering you divorced by your first year. You never understood the point of submitting a child to the sight of continuous arguments if you could just find a way to stop becoming involved in what was causing that. You didn't want Frisk to feel like the root of all your problems, nor did you wish to make them feel as if they had to redeem themselves for something that wasn't even their fault to begin with. It was difficult to comprehend the thought-process behind calling out how many finances were spent on them, unless they were being a spoiled brat about it. Guilting them over the good things they had and belittling their troubles through constant comparison wasn't what you wanted, either.

But did it all have to be done by you limiting your own life and enjoyments?

Sans's advice and Frisk's words get to you, these you try to brush off for the moment being.

Fixing your situation with the monsters was more important than that.

"Ren?" a familiar voice calls out, stopping your speeding train of thought. "Is Sans staying over tonight?"

Your body freezes up, face doing the opposite.

Out of all the people you could’ve chosen to be attracted to, it had to be a person whose existence you were barely aware of until a few months ago, who you would've sworn was a contradiction to science as you knew it, and whose flirting techniques were about as low quality as a school lunch's ‘pizza’ Friday. “Yes,” you say, drinking another glass. You’ve already drank more than enough, but stress makes you want more. “It would be rude to send him home with how late it is.”

“You just want him to stay longer, don’t you?”

“That’s none of your concern, dear.”

You serve them a glass of milk, kiss their cheek, and shoo them off to bed, slumping against the fridge when they’re gone. The sound of the television being turned on follows when their footsteps grow faint, and you can hear them exchange a few words with the skeleton, though none of these you can get to understand clearly, standing so far away. “That’s their favourite movie!” is the only sentence you can decipher from them, words exclaimed. “Have fun!” They run off, footsteps echoing down the hallway.

Finally left with Sans again, you return to the living room to see him resting on the same side you’d been pinned to on the couch. You try not to remember, yet your mind proves to be cruel as it reminds you over the subtle warmth of his hands, the scent of your soap on him, and him being so close to take initiative by being the one to almost kiss you on the lips. You’d been the one to do that the first time you kissed him on the cheek back at Mettaton's hotel, though you tell yourself it was nothing special. It was mostly the heat of the moment that had caused you both to take it easy, after all. Today was an entirely different story. Compared to your approach, his was a much more complex and slow building one, waiting for you to better process his intentions and reciprocate his actions with far more sincerity compared to your stay at the hotel.

In short, you wanted to kiss him, but for real this time.

“You doin' okay?” Sans asks, seeing you arrive; he scoots further away, a simple gesture for you to sit down and join him.

“I’m... I'm okay,” you reply, nodding. “But are you really gonna watch that?” You point with your eyes at the television, your favourite movie still playing. “It’s a little lame.”

“Don’t lie.” He grins and hangs an arm behind the couch again when you settle next to him. “I’m pretty sure the kid said it’s your favourite.”

“Out of that particular genre, yes.” You stare at the screen, displaying a scene not too fitting for your situation, yet not completely out of touch either. It gives space for you to talk with him, no awkward romance scenes happening at the moment, and no loud, action-packed scenarios occurring either. Without a word, you move closer to him, letting his arm wrap around your shoulders as he brings you nearer, face resting against his chest. “Have you watched it before?”

“Today’s my first,” he says, hand lowering to your waist. He does nothing else, giving space for you to cozy up next to him the way you best deemed fit. “Feelin’ better now? You can stay for s’long as ya need.”

Aware the monster's referencing your no short of embarrassing confession from before, you shift to a straighter position, meet his irises, and glare up at him. Rather than throwing a remark back at the skeleton, you figure it’s now best to kill him with kindness. You take his cheekbone, smile, and stroke his face, smiling to better accomplish your payback.

When he looks at you -- far too earnest and warm for your liking -- you flinch and have a sudden, unconscious change of plans.

“You’re enough, you know that?” you comment, words practically slipping from your mouth. “Maybe I don’t fully understand what happened at the Underground, but... But I'd say you’ve shown you care enough to improve things you don’t like about yourself. And you've also been pretty blunt and honest with me so far, so there’s that, too.” You kiss his cheekbone, ending on a note far more wholehearted than you originally intended your payback to be. “Try to remember that next time you start criticizing yourself like that again.”

[First] | [Previous] | [Next]

• • •

Hello!

Before getting into some important stuff, this was meant to be yesterday's update, but I didn't have my laptop available at the time, hence the delay! I was able to update on other sites, but here I use the "keep reading" feature, which can only be accessed through a computer. (As far as my knowledge of that goes, of course -- I'm still learning how to use Tumblr!)

Now, moving to the important stuff:

A few changes will be going underway soon, such as adding the chapter navigation at the bottom of each update from the Prologue to Chapter Ten. As I mentioned in a previous author note about how late I realized I was missing something necessary for clicking on the next chapter more easily: I'm a dumbass, lol.

Also, I've made the decision of creating separate fanfics for the 4 other characters tagged in this story, along with a poll to decide which one I should work with first (as it was shown at the end of Chapter Fifteen, we've finally reached the exposition part of this fanfic, meaning other relationships will be introduced soon)! The reason why is not only to avoid coming off as misleading for those who're looking for a fanfic of that specific character only, but because rewriting this story led to it becoming much more slow burning, thus delaying the relationship development with plenty of characters. As a result, I'll modify the tags to all 16 chapters that've been published so far!

Hopefully, all those changes will be finished by next Friday. :-)

As always, take care and stay safe!

• • •

Tag List (Comment or message me if you want to be added to [or removed from] it!)

@the-simp-express

@nektotersh

@disastrous-l0vebug

@therealchickenjoe

@mintyflakes025

@pandaquick

@timelock97

@candle-creeps

@paperb9gs

[thefloatingstone]

We’ve gone from Self-Isolation to Quarantine and in some places to gradual relaxation phases, but that doesn’t stop the need for more nonsense you can watch on youtube while you wait for things to get back to normal. And recommending things and making lists are some of my favourite things to do but I have not yet figured out how to start or structure a video myself, you guys get another rambling tumblr post of things you can watch on youtube.

This time I’m once again just gonna recommend individual videos rather than full channels like I did in part 2.

Part 1

Part 2

In no particular order; 

LOCAL58: The Broadcast Station that Manipulates You

I recently started watching the Nexpo channel when I went on a binge of creepy youtube videos. Most of his videos are really good although the ones where he himself goes into theory crafting can be a little asinine. However, this video is REALLY good. And before you get nervous, LOCAL58 is not a real TV station. LOCAL58 is a youtube channel created by the same guy behind the Candle Cove creepypasta. This video by Nexpo covers the various episodes of LOCAL58 and discusses them. Just be aware going in that this is abstract horror, and will probably get under your skin regardless if you’re unaffected by certain topics or not. although cw for suicide mention.

I also recommend most of the rest of this channel, although be careful where you tread. I don’t recommend his series “Disturbing things from around the internet” as it can sometimes include real life crime, abuse and such caught on security cameras. Everything else is really good tho. (although I was really annoyed by his 2 videos on KrainaGrzybowTV)

The Search for D.B. Cooper

LEMMiNO has a new video out covering one of the most unexplained crimes in the past century of the US. LEMMiNO is the guy I’ve recommended before who did videos on the Universal S. He is very down to earth and not someone prone to conspiracy or even really that fanciful of thinking. (He’s like the one person I feel covered the Dyaltov Pass incident and was confused by why this was even a mystery because if you read the Russian Autopsy reports and documents associated with the case it’s all pretty logical and easily explained)

D.B. Cooper is the name given to a man who, in 1971, hijacked an airplane with a bomb, asked for a large sum of money, and after receiving it, parachuted from the plane and was never seen or heard from again.

The Austrian Wine Poisoning | Down the Rabbit Hole

Down the Rabbit Hole also has a new video out, this time covering the Austrian Wine Poisoning event from 1985. A scandal that involved literally the entire country of Austria, affected multiple countries, and forever changed the way wine was made world wide. As someone who is generally pretty allergic to most artificial substances this one made me personally very angry. But luckily, it has a happy ending and a better world for us all... if I could drink wine which I can’t do anyway.

The Turbulent Tale of Yandere Dev - A Six Year Struggle

The Right Opinion is another channel I only recently subbed to after watching his cover on Onion Boy. I put off subbing to him simply because of his channel name and I thought it meant he would come across as smug and elitist. Luckily this seems to merely be one of those “I chose a bad channel name and now I’m stuck with it” type of situations. (IHE has a similar problem).

Anyway, I have a weird interest in bizarre internet personalities, so I’ve been enjoying his channel as he simply discusses and presents a timeline of events of certain individuals. In this video, he covers the developer behind the much maligned Yandere Simulator. It’s a tale of hubris, arrogance, immaturity, and an unwillingness to accept your own shortcomings due to ego.

Oh and there’s a meme game about Japanese school girls with anime tiddies in there as well.

The Most Relaxing Anime Ever Made | Yokohama Kaidashi Kikō

Kenny Lauderdale is a youtube channel which is slowly becoming bigger which I’m very happy to see. He exclusively covers anime and live action Japanese television no younger than the mid 90s (as is the case with YYK) and which usually never saw a release outside of Japanese Laserdisc. I do wish his videos were a little longer, but if nothing else his videos serve as an excellent starting to point to find some older and underappreciated shows... or hot garbage fires. In this episode he talks about the 2 OVA episodes made based on one of my favourite manga, Yokohama Shopping Log. A Post apocalyptic anime about an android who runs a coffee shop outside of her house, and the quiet solitude of living in a world of declining human population, brief encounters with travelers and other people, and just... existing. The anime was never released outside of Japan and is only available on Japanese VHS and laserdisc.... but hey guess what!! Somebody uploaded both episodes, subbed, to Youtube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2HCVOH6DtA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqSTwfkobME

YMS’ slow descent into madness as he uncovers just how bullshit the Kimba Conspiracy is

I’m linking a full playlist for this one.

YMS is busy planning his review on the “live action” Lion King remake as the original 1994 movie is probably his favourite movie all time (and also self declared what made him a furry). As part of the 2 hour review, he decided to what all 2000 hours of Kimba the White Lion just to mention how The Lion King potentially stole the idea. ....until he actually watched all 2000 hours of Kimba and realised that if you actually WATCH Kimba, it has VERY little to do with the Lion King at all apart from having the same animals in them because AFRICA. Watch as one man slowly loses his mind as he realises just how stupid this conspiracy theory is, just HOW DECEITFUL and straight up LYING people can be. People who write BOOKS. People who teach LAW AT UNIVERSITIES. Because NOBODY bothered to actually watch the entire show and just parroted the “Disney stole this” lie which got started by like 2 salty fans on the internet.

The man set out to just mention how Disney stole an idea, and uncovered one of the most infuriating rabbit holes on the internet. Screaming for SOMEONE to provide him with sources or evidence.

YMS will be publishing his full Kimba documentary this month which he has said is around 2 hours long before he continues to work on the Lion King one.

Science Stories: Loch Ness eDNA results, Poop Knives, and Skeleton Lovers

TREY the Explainer has a video giving us some updates in Archeology from 2019. In this video he discusses the findings of the eDNA results conducted on the Loch Ness to see what animal DNA the lake contains which will tell us what living animals currently inhabit the lake, ancient knives made of poop and if this is a real thing that could have existed, and a skeleton couple found buried together which were at first thought to be lovers, then revealed to be both male, and then how in this instance we cannot let our modern sensibilities dictate what we WANT this burial find to be, but to look at the evidence as presented to us and place in context finds of this nature. The worst thing an archaeologist can do is look for proof to a theory they already have.

The Bizarre Modern Reality of Sonic the Hedgehog

Super Eyepatch Wolf is back and he’s here to talk to us about the very very strange existence of Sonic. a 90s rebellious “too cool for School” answer to Mario, a lost idea as the world of video games changes and culture shifted, a meme and punching bag amplified by a unique fanbase and poor quality games, a transcendence into a horrific warped  idea of what he once was, and modern day and where Sonic and his fans are now. As usual Super Eyepatch Wolf knocks it out of the park.

Kokoro Wish and the Birth of a Multiverse: A Lecture on the Work of Jennifer Diane Reitz

I don’t even sub to this channel as I’m not entirely sure what Ben’s usual content is about. But every now and then he has a “101″ class, where he explains to a room full of his friends in a classroom setting (complete with Whiteboard) an internet artist and oddity, the timeline, and what it is they have created. (wait... didn’t I say this already?). Unlike TRO however, the 101 classrooms are not a dark look into disturbed individuals (although the CWC 101 is debatable) nor is it a “lol look at this weirdo” dragging. Instead, of the 3 he’s done so far, it’s usually a rather sympathetic look at some of the strange artists on the internet who through some way or another, left a very big cultural impact on the internet space through their art. Sometimes they may not be the best people, but their work is so outside of what we’re used to seeing that just listening to him run you through these people’s internet history is fascinating.

In this episode he talks about Jennifer Diane Reitz. And although it is titled Kokoro Wish, the lecture is more about Jennifer’s larger work back in the early internet when being a weeb was unheard of, how being trans influenced her stories and characters, and her world building that is so rich and in-depth with it’s own ASTRO PHYSICS it puts any modern fictional world found in games or movies to shame.

Jennifer is not exactly a nice person... and in many ways can be seen as dangerously irresponsible, but she created something truly unique in a way that you kinda struggle figuring out if it’s terrible or a work of genius.

Anyway I think that’s enough for now

[aion-rsa]

Legends of Tomorrow: Can Sara Lance Survive This Space Oddity?

https://ift.tt/3eMSTaK

This Legends of Tomorrow review contains spoilers.

Legends of Tomorrow Season 6 Episode 1

There’s a bit in the sixth season premiere of Legends of Tomorrow, “Ground Control to Sara Lance,” that made me furious. Gary, the comic relief sidekick who gets retconned this episode to have been an alien infiltrator, has explained his whole backstory to the abducted Sara Lance, who wakes up on an alien spaceship just in time to see it hyperdrive away from Earth from a rear window. Sara wants to get home, so she tells Gary, “Give me everything you know about this ship.” Gary’s response is to start to explain how she and Ava first started dating. 

When I heard this, I got so mad. It’s completely unfair that the cast and crew of Legends is so good that they can hand in a B+ episode for this show that contains within it the single best Muppets joke in over a decade.

Legends returns to airwaves with its first episode in almost a year, and it continues to amaze how this show just can’t miss. This cast is so obviously comfortable with each other, and the crew so in touch with what makes the characters so entertaining, that Legends’ floor is better than many shows at their best, and good episodes turn great because of those strengths. There’s a confidence and efficiency in the storytelling that lets the show dispense with a lot of setup and exposition quickly,to give the characters space to breathe and the jokes time to set. Case in point: “Ground Control to Sara Lance.”

At the end of last season, Sara was abducted by aliens, setting the stage for this season’s space and alien-themed adventures. The purpose of this episode was to reintroduce the characters and setting, and set up the conflict for the rest of the season. This was done mostly with two sequences: one that showed how deeply comic book-y this show can be, and one that showed how efficient it is. 

The reintroduction of the team was done largely through Ava’s eyes. She’s flushed awake by Mick after passing out drunk on the Waverider’s toilet, where she realizes Sara never brought her to bed the night before. So they head out to find everyone. Constantine and Zari just finished hooking up; Astra is card sharping an entire poker room dry; Behrad’s getting the munchies out of his system with a Buckingham Palace Guard; and Nate’s explaining his extremely convoluted love life to David Bowie. When Bowie shows the team that Sara was ready to propose to Ava before being abducted by aliens, Ava springs into action. I’m 85% certain she used time travel to clean up her hangover, and came back with a checklist for how to deal with the problem, one that had specific, character-by-character instructions on how each would respond and how to get them to serve the mission despite that.

This whole thing is extremely similar to how Bronze Age and earlier comic issues worked – each issue was treated like someone’s first, so the storytellers had to take the first 3 pages of the 22 page story to reintroduce and recap, but the effective, elegant ones would do it without you ever noticing. Ava’s checklist and hunt for her teammates performed the same function just as effectively.

Read more

TV

Batwoman: Where Does Wallis Day’s Kate Kane Fit in Gotham?

By Lacy Baugher

TV

Black Lightning is Making the Most of Its Final Season

By Nicole Hill

Incidentally, while this show is extremely comic book-y, it’s also straight up disrespectful to the concept of comic book shows in an utterly delightful way. Legends continues to interact with the rest of the Arrowverse – the DEO is referenced as destroyed here, in a nod to Supergirl’s fifth season – but this show feels like it’s taking the tics of comic book shows and poking fun at them. When you’ve spent years watching every show with an ear for potential easter eggs, your first instinct when you hear a character on a DC TV show say “he’s with Starman” is to clap and wonder if it’s Jack, Ted, Mikaal, or Prince Gavyn. Then and only then does a David Bowie cameo feel like a cop out. The same goes for Ava referencing Sara’s pre-her love life by saying “swing a dead cat…” I had to stop myself from looking up if Sara and Roy Harper hooked up.

The episode ended with that same efficiency that made the opening so effective. Sara battles the tentacly captain of the ship while Gary tries to open a wormhole home, and Sara wins the fight with a move straight out of Alien: she opens an airlock to throw him out. And when he doesn’t get all the way out the door, she releases pods of other kidnapees from their alcoves to knock him into the wormhole behind the ship. The captain, along with the aliens in the pods, fall into the Bleed and eventually travel through time, setting up the Legends to hunt them down last season, while Sara and Gary figure out how to get home. 

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Legends is a show that shouldn’t work. It’s ridiculous and earnest and geeky and could so easily slide into terminally cheesy and corny. But it never does, even for a minute, because the cast and crew are so joyful and confident and talented that they sell every bit of the emotional stakes. The only complaint I have is that this show is so consistently good that it almost demands being graded on a curve. “Ground Control to Sara Lance” would be a 9.5 or a 10 on any other TV show, but because Legends of Tomorrow routinely does so much bananapants shit, it’s only an 8. But praise Beebo, it’s a high 8.

The post Legends of Tomorrow: Can Sara Lance Survive This Space Oddity? appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3ufG8f4

[sanshineaus]

mingi : friends to lovers

warnings: none!

type: bulletpoint au, fluff

word count: 1989 (a lil short!! i’m very sorry)

a/n: as a san stan, we get fed content every 30 minutes and y’all mingi stans are the backbone of the fandom

you and mingi have a very sweet friendship, really

he and you would most likely die for each other

but also if he touches your charger you WILL kill him

you met through another friend, at their birthday party

right after you congratulated them and handed them their gift, mingi came around the corner and clumsily nearly spilled a drink on you

he still apologized though!!! AND offered to check for you if there was a drink anywhere

your friend laughed and introduced you two

'he's cute isn't he?'

oh boy was he!!!

he really was sweet too; you didn’t know anyone else but your friend and now, him, and he was nice enough to let you stick to him like glue

you even ended up exchanging numbers, and playing 8ball in your respective cabs when the party ended

from then on you began texting

and it grew into exchanging social media

to being inseparable in real life too

mingi would constantly bug you to go out and eat with him

and you’d frequently go shopping together (or window shopping. mingi just LOOKS stingy)

when your snap streaks had officially reached 420 days, mingi made sure to screenshot it and post it on all social media

as he did with any you content in general

and let’s be honest with ourselves— mingi’s a very, very beautiful person

so there was no shortage of people in his dms

most of which happened to be opening with ‘are you single’

because of your numerous posts together, it just didn’t seem likely

but really, you’d say ‘ew’ to that, because ew, that’s your best friend

who you’ve seen snotty crying over a picture of a particularly small puppy resting on a very large cat

and who has seen YOU snotty crying over the same picture but shhhh

you honestly think there’s no way you like him

your heart doesn’t palpitate around him or anything like that

(your chest just gets concerningly warm, so does your face and ears, and you have to take several gulps of air to compose yourself when he smiles. shhhhh)

EVEN if you did (which you don’t!) he wouldn’t like you back

he’s mingi

all mingi likes is dragging you out of bed by your feet

and making you regret giving him a spare key to your place

he’s in general grossly sappy, though

he fully understands that he’s cute and you detest it

because he ASKS you. he has the gall, the nerve to put on a silly cat, make a face at you in the store you’re in, and ask if he’s cute

and you want to say yes and laugh along with him but you settle for sighing and saying ‘sure’

but each and every time

he smiles

and it’s really rejuvenating. maybe an angel gets its wings or something. or fairies get born?

you two once debated over which of those two phrases is better, and you were the firm ‘fairy gets its wings’ believer

until he seemed a bit pouty and you decided to just merge the two

you have very stupid discussions

of the ‘do we belong in a circus’ kind

(yes, you might)

his very hidden talent is carrying a lot of mugs

mingi’s fingers are long, and he hangs the mugs off of them while maintaining focus

his record? 24 mugs

one of which broke while he walked from his room to the dishwasher

he was sad about it because it was a mug shaped like a bird

and you had to both comfort him and drive him in his tears to the store to get another one

to be fair, you also felt bad. so, so bad, because the mug was ADORABLE and you could tell mingi thought so too

but you got a Mingi Hug out of it later

when he thanked you, he really did go all out

(he put in no effort, he was just very huggable and it was very nice)

it was when you were very tired and on the brink of Death™ (you know, Death™, like when you just want to nap for 78 hours somewhere in a forest temple)

that you two decide to go to a 7/11

you both unfortunately have this thing called responsibilities so for whatever reason, neither of you can sleep

and so you offer to mingi to meet up at the store between your houses

to which he agrees, and asks if he can come over

to which you say no, but you also say YOLO™ and decide to leave your work in progress to meet up with your friend

(be gay do crime)

you don’t really do either, actually, you respectfully pay for your drinks and those packaged meals which are never as good at day as when they are at night

he insists you use the plastic bag you two had as a seat so your butt doesn’t get cold

and you do, but you also try and elbow his shin when he also sits down on the concrete

you are reminded of the ew feeling of seeing your best friend scarf down sushi like it’s soup

and he somehow manages to talk coherently about his stupid escapade which brought him to this point of meeting up with you

it’s so frustratingly endearing

because you know he’s enjoying himself if he doesn’t stop talking, and you know he’s comfortable around you

and that’s what makes you heart FINALLY flutter

it doesn’t take long for you two to depart, when you finish your own food and drink

and berate him a bit for not saving his drink for when he ended his meal and then stole a sip— no, a GULP from you

that night you give up on your project

(obviously not entirely)

but you’re certainly too busy to think straight

and lying in your bed with your heart beating quick is something you find pretty exhilarating

it’s actually pretty nice to like someone

because anything mingi does is fun, too

he gives you his jacket? perfection

he gives you a noogie? not AS perfect or ideal, but you’re happy he has you in a headlock because it’s a touch of human contact

and you like This human

he tries talking to you about what he would do if aliens landed

and you call him out on his bullshit, not because he’s wrong but because you love him <3 and he’s also wrong

he would NOT try and be nice to them, he’d immediately go in and look if there’s more species

“mingi would accidentally bring doomsday because he’d reject the flirting of an alien princess” yunho (who you met through mingi on the exact day of your 420 streak) adds, from somewhere near you guys in mingi’s apartment, and you absolutely agree

“marriage proposal? come on, i’d know!”

yunho looks at you, then at mingi, then back at you, and just shakes his head

and you feel offended because you’re aware of what yunho’s thinking

but mingi’s less on board

“are you saying they’re an alien princess?”

you argue that if you were an alien, you’d abolish the monarchy

but you also add that you’d rather be king if it came down to it

mingi is very insistent and it’s then when you realize that your heart is beating like that again

because he’s stood up and taken you with him to show to yunho that you’d make a terrific alien princess if only they put you in a sci-fi dress and crown

you want to put mingi in a sci-fi dress and crown all of a sudden, you don’t know : /

it’s prerogative you get more than one Mingi Hug

Mingi Hugs are a bit of an oddity

not because he doesn’t hug you often

it’s just that this is such a specific brand of hug that he reserves for moments of vulnerability

where he protectively wraps his arms around you, but places his head on your shoulder to hide his face

maybe he’s crying, maybe you’re crying, maybe neither is happening and he’s just grateful you’re there, but you’ve noticed he doesn’t do it as often to other people

it’s really cute, though

you’re sitting on your roof one night

not star gazing, mingi just said he read an article that said some phenomena will hit the skies

you tried to listen to him but he was so excited that explaining failed him and he just grabbed your hand to pull you out

(not that you were complaining, he was so gentle and cute)

you are lying down next to each other; and he’s pointing out constellations to you

you see some of them, others are less easy to spot, but every once in a while he rambles about something interesting he knew

but then it starts

you hear a sizzling first, and then a shot

and your sky is red… with a firework

after that, there’s another pound, the colour this time pink

it is pretty— colours exploding against the night sky is pretty

but what the hell? this isn’t a nebular event

it’s when you finally tear your eyes away from the sky to mingi to interrogate him that you see he’s already looking at you

and he has a very sweet smile on his face

“it’s our 500th snap streak day”

and you aren’t stupid, so you know he’s behind the fireworks, but

“why?”

and he lets out a very burdened sigh before he grabs your wrist, and places your hand in his

“it means i’ve liked you for 500 days”

there’s two emotions fluctuating all throughout

relief and joy

so you scoot over and let go of his hand so that you can swing your arms around his neck

his arms, for the first time, are loose, and you can absolutely hear the beating of his heart

the fireworks stop all of a sudden when your neighbour yells

but you ignore her so you can try and get even closer to mingi

you mumble that you like him too

however he hugs you tighter

and tells you he can’t hear you

but he DEFINITELY CAN AND HE’S JUST—UGHHH

so you decide to be even worse about it

and you y e l l it

now the whole neighbourhood knows you like mingi

though it does gradually grow into love

mingi’s a very caring boyfriend; after all, he was exactly the same as a friend

now with the added bonus of being able to kiss you

which is a power he abuses thoroughly

he gives forehead and temple kisses the most

and he’s a very terrible gremlin, so he sometimes holds your head only to bring it to his lips

or he’ll pick you up randomly

“can you tell i worked out?”

yes, you can, but you’re more focused on trying to land safely if he loses his grip

not that you don’t trust him

you trust him in every aspect of the relationship

he’s reliable— and also brings you food at inconvenient times of the day

plus you get to visit each other whenever

he likes doing animal face masks with you

and offers a bath every. time.

he runs some of the best bubble baths though, you can’t lie

he’s also very warm most of the time, so if you’re a heat sink… guess what! you no longer are!

mingi’s also very careful

he makes mistakes often; physically breaking things, sometimes he doesn’t know his strength, and so on

but he’s always ready to apologize and get you something new

he sometimes ends up going too far with a joke?

apology!

he’s very meticulous with it too. words mean as much as actions to him, and so there’s a lot of meaning in his apologies

he’s just cute

you’re both very cute but also a very annoying couple

pda? she’s your best friend

*yeosang cringes*

[linkspooky]

Medaka Box top 2-5 because number 1 is obvious

I LOVE TO TALK ABOUT  HOW MUCH I LOVE MY FAVES. IF YOU EVER ASK WANT TO ASK ME WHO MY FAVES ARE FOR A SERIES FEEL FREE TO SEND ME AN ASK.

1. My love was Real - Kumagawa Misogi

No, shush I’m going to talk about Kumagawa Misogi. The only time he gets a chance to be number one is in popularity polls and my faves lists.

 My favorite thing about Medaka Box out of all of Nisioisin’s works is that the weirdoes are not just weirdoes who are accepted as weirdoes, but they’re also challenged to grow more human. 

What I really like about Kumagawa is that he gets his ass kicked constantly. You come to understand just how he developed his broken method of coping and seeing the world, but it’s also something he ultimately has to let go of. The story never lets him win and challenges him to grow. Which is why you end up rooting for Kumagawa because it’s far more interesting seeing him fail sometimes than the main characters succeeding. 

Kumagawa’s just this insane person who seems to be doing whatever he wants, the embodiment of edgy loser characters, but at the same time he’s eventually revealed to be quite human. He’s grounded in basic human desires, he wants to be happy like everybody else, he wants to have security, to protect his friends. It’s that humanity in the character you get attached too. He’s a loser, not because he’s a monster, but because he has so many very human flaws. At the end of the day, for all his flashiness he kind of just acts like a regular good for nothing. 

Underneath it all I see Kumagawa as a character whose broken in kind of an ordinary way. Nisioisin writes a lot about broken geniuses, people who are insane but also talented to some degree. Kumagawa is just like, an average ordinary guy underneath it all that’s been subjected to a shit ton of trauma and noen fo that trauma really made him better as a person and he doesn’t have some kind of special talent to balance it out. Normal people, ugly people, worthless people can be broken too, there’s no such thing as suffering beautifully. And yet, Kumagawa’s still trying to be a person, he’s trying to struggle and do better even though he’s not someone who would ever be the main character of the story. Which is why I think he’s grounded in something really relatable. 

2. I don’t care what fictional characters call me - Ajimu Najimi

Ajimu’s great because she’s literally the most talented, all knowing character in the manga, but in the end she’s just as shitty as Kumagawa. Often I end up liking these two as a pair because they’re just so integral to each other’s character arcs. 

Ajimu is a shitty person. You get all these reasons like she’s actually seven million terminals, or that she’s trillions of years old, but beyond that she clearly has a personality, and that personality is bad. She just doesn’t really care about anybody besides herself. She drags along other people with her whims. 

She’s a mastermind but at the same time she’s kind of just a petty child. For all of her grandiose reasons for manipulating people along, it’s more that Ajimu doesn’t really want to live as a person. There are characters that Nisioisin made up that are like, actually not meant to be human but some incomprehensible entity. Like, the story goes out of its way to say that Yodzuru isn’t human. In Monogatari, oddities and aberrations are not meant to be human, they’re meant to be inhuman and different. But Ajimu always struck me as a character written to be human underneath it all. Her constant announcing of “I’m a non-human” is just kind of her running away that psychologically, she’s still pretty much a human despite her weird origin story. 

Which is why my favorite part about her is how little she actually knows about being a human. She understands people like they’re toys to move around in her toybox, or roles in a script but you get the sense she doesn’t get them as like, thinking, feeling entities separate from herself. She doesn’t really understand love, or friendship or anything like that, and she doesn’t want to bother to learn anyway because she already knows everything. Ajimu literally has the script handed to her, and yet like Medaka says, she doesn’t know anything. She has to start all the way from the beginning. 

3. So let’s get married! Marry me, Marry me, Marry me! - Emukae Mukae

I used to hate Yanderes until I met Emukae. One of the differences I noticed is that Emukae is definitely not written to be anybody’s fantasy. She’s her own character all throughout. Which is what i disliked about most yanderes to begin wtih, they were always obsessed with some dude, but like never as a flaw or a character arc it was supposed to be appealing and not ugly. 

Emukae is very ugly when she’s introduced, and we get to see her just like Kumagawa work her way back into being a human being again. The reason she has to let go of her romantic feelings is because she was using them to entirely define who she was, which is why her personality appears so shallow at first. 

By the end of the manga Emukae is probably the character besides Kumagawa who has changed and developed the most, and another thing is that she does this without really abandoning parts of her presonality. Emukae is still a minus towards the end, she’s still manic at times, she just doesn’t use love as a substitute for everything anymore because she’s learned to grow an identity outside of that. She’s kind of growing into her own person over the course of the manga instead of attaching herself to either Kumagawa or Zenkichi to define who she was. 

4. I’ll become the main character - Zenkichi Hitoyoshi

Zenkichi is a send up to classic shonen protags and a subversion of them at the same time. He’s the guy who never gives up, who always makes friends, and who tries to earn everything with training, effort, and hard work. I admit a lot I like about Zenkichi is his foiling with Kumagawa (Kumagawa existing as his shadow, Zenkichi’s hard work is always rewarded, and Kumagawa’s is never rewarded). 

However, there is something unique about the character himself. That is, getting stronger never actually gets Zenkichi what he wants. Despite being the main male lead, he almost never technically wins any fights. He wins against Munakata at the beginning but that’s about it. He’s actually usually the weakest character in the group and surrounded by super strong women.

What’s interesting about Zenkichi as a protag is that his arc isn’t about gaining strength, but actually letting go of the idea of gaining strength. He wins against Medaka in the end not by beating her in a fight, but because he’s better at making connections with other people than she is. He finds his place eventually in learning to make connections with others rather than building his entire life around protecting Medaka. 

5. I’ll kill you - Munakata Kei

Munakata is fun, because he’s an interesting character concept. Every time he looks at a person he wants to kill them. Unlike Hitoshiki Zerozaki, rather than choosing to give into this urge he’s actually spent his whole life fighting against it. Which is what makes him unique, he’s basically every other serial killer that Nisioisin has ever written (a serial killer, but they’re lonely) but this time he hasn’t actually killed anybody.

Which under the surface makes him feel like much more of a normal dude. He’s actually a very human person who just happened to be born with a weird obsession with killing people. I guess one thing that makes me like this character so much is I’ve seen similiar attempts to make this character work with the same concept, but they all come off as unrelatable and weird. 

Munakata is a fully fleshed out character. He wants to have friends, wants to fight for those friends. He sometimes get self righteous. He’s serious and straight laced. He’s overprotective of those friends. He just also happens to be constantly seeking out a reason to kill someone. Munakata is even mentioned to have a bad attitude on purpose. His showdown with Kumagawa is also one of my favorite scenes in the manga, with the two of them fighting with their contrasting philosophies. 

It feels like the fact that he wants to murder every single person he meets is just an asterisk on his character, instead of having his entire character built around that fact. Which is fun. He’s actively resisting becoming the murderer who kills people for no reason because they’re obsessed with killing people trope, and it gives him a satisfactory arc over the story. Also, once again how normal he is is just fun, the second he did finally kill someone his first response was to just walk to the police station. What a dude. 

[dxmedstudent]

Dx’s Dating Tips: What Not To Compromise on.

Basic respect. Watch how they treat you, and how they treat the people around you. Don’t tolerate rudeness, disrespect and lack of consideration. You deserve someone who is thoughtful and cares how you feel. Personally, I thought someone cancelling dates was fine, if given notice and a plausible reason; life happens. Same with transport issues; these things happen, as long as they aren’t a regular habit, it’s fair enough. But things like not being given notice, or being ghosted? Not forgivable. This extends to their conduct in terms of ghosting. I didn’t mind people ghosting me, because they have a right to decide it’s not working out for them. But I did not tolerate people who ghost you then come back after two months to see if you are still interested, as if nothing happened. I’m sorry, I write back after 13h shifts, and even write back polite messages when rejecting people. Please, sweethearts, don’t accept someone treating you like you don’t matter. There will always be people out there who can treat you with respect.

Don’t accept being treated as a last minute addition. This also extends to people who e trying to plan the first few dates but just... don’t give you any notice. There’s at least one guy I never met because they kept on just messaging last minute to meet that same evening. The conversation would be promising, they’d know that I’m a busy woman who needs to plan ahead, and yet I wouldn’t hear anything about when to meet until like 8pm on a Saturday when they’d cheekily ask “Are you free this evening?”. Well, no, I’ve already made plans and if they in any way wanted to genuinely meet, they could try scheduling it in wth a few days’ notice. This goes for people of all genders; give people time to plan their lives, and expect to be given the same courtesy.

Don’t accept being a booty call unless that is all you want out of it.  If you want casual; great! Make sure you are both on the same page so nobody gets hurt. Be honest with others, but also with yourself; you can’t make someone fall in love with you or give you a relationship if all they want is sex; the only person who will fall will be you. Don’t tell someone who wants FWB that you’re happy with that when in your heart you want the white dress and two kids and a lifetime together. They won’t budge. You’ll get your heart broken. I’ve seen this happen, and I’ve seen good friends spend years pining over someone who is distant and barely a FWB who won’t commit to even being in a relationship, let alone what my friend wants. 

Regular contact. Everyone’s busy, but you can assume that if someone hasn’t messaged for more than a week or so, you’ve been ghosted. It’s polite in online dating terms to reply to a message after a day or two; people are usy, but nobody wants to be left hanging for days.Same for when people first start dating; you don’t necessarily need daily epic phone calls or message threads; people are busy. But if someone is interested they will want you to think of them, and they will want to be on your radar. They will want to make plans with you as a priority; not necessarly over their friends and family (nor should they), but you won’t be last on a long list, either. Bear in mind that people who swing by occasionally every week or two (or even more infrequenty) aren’t prioritising you. I used to find it so sad when a friend of mine would wait something like 3 weeks for their barely FWB to message them back; after which they’d quickly suggest meeting up for dinner and sex, then... nothing again for 3 weeks. Rinse and repeat. My friend wanted a lot more, but it turned into a neverending cycle of anxiety (”what should I message him? What if he doesn’t reply? Do you think he’ll see me again?”) that ultimately caused more pain than pleasure. They deserved so much better than that, and you do, too.

Never put in more effort than you’re getting back. You shouldn’t be chasing anyone; if they like you they will want to reply enthusiastically. They’ll want to make regular plans to meet. They’ll be considerate about what you want to do, and when you can meet.  They will care about what would make you happy.

If you’re a woman, in particular, never trust a man who doesn’t take into account your personal safety; if you’re meeting late, they should care that you’ve got a safe way to get home. They should think about whether you are comfortable being out that late. They should be respectful of the fact that they might still be earning your trust and that you might not be fully comfortable around them yet. I used to get frustrated by perfectly decent men joking about how the first date is the “obligatory meet in a coffee shop to prove I’m not a serial killer date” after which it’s straight back to their flat for dates. Like... making me comfortable and letting me feel safe is not a tick box gesture to be rushed through so you can get me alone, it really matters to me.  Bold of you to think it takes me just one hour over coffee to decide you’re definitely not a serial killer. You might be like a foot taller than me and have twice the muscle, I need to be able to feel safe and respected and comfortable with you. I need to feel that you understand consent and see me as a person. You’ll earn my trust when I decide, and I appreciate not being pressured to meet somewhere private where the other party has an advantage after meeting for like an hour.  I think someone suggesting going back to theirs is fine but there clearly shouldn’t be any pressure for ‘more private’ dates early on in the dating process, unless the other party makes it clear that they’d like to be alone with you.

Don’t rush. Some dating sites suggest meeting ASAP to avoid wasting time if there is no chemistry. I recommend being more relaxed; meet people when you feel ready, not when other people tell you to meet them. Don’t be rushed; you’ll know when you feel comfortable to meet someone. I found that messaging people for a little while meant that when we did meet, there was more to talk about and I felt more comfortable because I knew people a little better. If you run out of things to talk about on the first date because you messaged for a few days longer, then you were always going to struggle to hold a conversation with that person.

If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Some people are very good at saying all the right things - 'oh yeah, I want kids and marriage like right now ... and I love you'. Intimacy takes time, and nobody who is serious is going to rush into commitment lightly. An honest person rarely promises anything, because they know what it means to keep a promise. However, people can, and do, promise anything when they have no intention of delivering. I’ve known people actually say “He told me he loved me after the second date, and he said he’s fine if I get pregnant because we don’t use condoms, he’d love to be a dad”. Sis, it’s date 2. No sensible man has two dates and decides he’s ready to father your children and get married. Be careful and don’t rush into anything with a person you really actually don’t know. I know infatuation and wanting the best things to happen are both one hell of a drug, but please try to keep your head screwed on. Sometimes people try to sweep others off their feet because they know the other party will fall in love and then be easier to manipulate. Actions speak louder than words, so take your time and make sure that anyone you date is following through on what they tell you they will do. And if it becomes clear they have no intention of keeping their word, then you know what to do. Be honest about what you want and look for honesty in return.This applies to everything. Be cautious, but approach things with a spirit of cautious optimism; bad things are out there, and you want to be able to spot them.

Never settle. There are so many people out there you could meet and potentially love. You deserve far better than settling for someone you don’t even like. Yes, in real life people are human and nobody’s perfect. Even a good potential partner will have flaws and weaknesses; all couples have disagreements or things they don’t see eye to eye on. But overall, you should genuinely like and care about the person you are seeing, and feel that you get along with them well. And that you can raise things with them without it turning into a massive blowout row. You know what? My married friends don’t live a different life from my friends cheerfully ‘living in sin’; both types generally seem to have solid partnerships with the odd misunderstanding or argument, but overall make a good team.  Marrying didn’t make my friends’ relationships any different; they had to be strong and compatible to begin with. There is no prize for getting married; the prize is the person. If the person isn’t that great, wellp, what are you doing marrying them? Although I can’t quite disabuse myself of the romantic notion that marriage would be a lovely thing (Ugh, there’s a romantic somewhere inside me after all), I really do resent how important it is viewed as. Because people feel pressured to tick a box, rather than pick a person.

Only date because you want to. Not because your friends all paired up and tell you that you need a girlfriend. Not because your mum is worried you'll end up alone. Not because you feel like that's what everyone else does when they are your age. Many of my friends have gone through long periods being single; I can’t even describe myself as an oddity. Generally in society? Yes, that’s probably freakish. But in medical circles? We seem to have the wholes singleton thing going on, as a cohort.  Date because you want to meet prospective partners; whether flings or something more serious; whatever rocks your boat. It can be a fun pasttime or full of anxiety and stress; it depends very much on what you get out of it. Be prepared; it can shake your self-esteem by digging up feelings about why previous relationships didn’t work, or all the times you felt rejected and unloved. There will be rejection; that’s an interent part of dating; online or otherwise. Dating makes being single feel more raw, somehow, because you’re making the effort to look and acknowledging you want something different at this point in time. So you have to be ready and in the right mindset to weather it.

You always have the right to change your mind. If someone is not right for you, it is better to be gently honest. It’ll be sad and one or both of you might feel hurt, but it’ll turn out for the best. Staying with someone because you are afraid to hurt their feelings is ultimately not fair on them or yourself.

You don’t have to meet anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable. Only talk to people who you are enjoying talking to. Only agree to meet people who you genuinely want to meet. Occasionally, I’d realise someone made me uncomfortable and I just couldn’t bring my self to meet them and then I would feel really guilty about it, even if I dreaded the thought of meeting them or they gave me awkward creepy vibes. You don’t need to feel guilty for just not wanting to meet someone. If someone seems nice enough but you just aren’t interested, be polite. Imagine how many rejections everyone gets. But you don’t need to see them out of pity. I didn’t want people to feel like nobody ever replied, so I tried to respond to the reasonable looking people. I found that plenty of guys were very sweet about the polite rejections I sent out. I didn’t bother being quite so heartfelt with the copy pasted “hello gorgeosuee ;)” people, but then, with such low effort, I didn’t think they’d expect much, and honestly I didn’t want to reward poor behaviour. Whereas when it came to people who wrote really nice messages, I wanted them to realise that they were doing really well. And if anyone gives you the creeps, listen to that instinct. sure, you might miss out on someone great, but that’s better than meeting someone feeling like you’re about to get murdered, or finding that the creepy vibes you were picking up were right. Absolutely use your blocking privileges if you have to. Report anyone who is inappropriate. You have every right to feel safe.

[floatingcatacombs]

In Praise of the Blonde Twink who May or May Not be a Trans Girl

12 Days of Aniblogging, Day 3

There’s been something in the air recently. Last year, the New York Times’ fashion magazine published an article titled “Welcome to the Age of the Twink”, a 600-word LGBT hitpiece arguing that a new wave of “art twinks” are redefining what it means to be an ideal male. The author argues that the term “twink” is being broadened past just gay culture and we should slap it on every slim attractive straight white dude that we see in order to overturn toxic masculinity. Because there’s nothing more revolutionary than, er, fairly conventional western beauty standards.

The internet promptly responded by shitting on the author’s brazen attempt to export twinkness to the straight world. I too think it’s an awful take, but I get the feeling there was a satirical bend to the article that got edited out or otherwise miscommunicated. After all, the author is a gay man; why would he misrepresent and diminish his own community like that?

The broadening and appropriation of LGBT terminology is a touchy subject, so I’ll save it for another day. If taking gay terminology and morphing it into new definitions is en vogue nowadays, I’m happy to join ranks with Nick Haramis and add new meanings to “twink”. Let’s talk about twinks as Schrodinger’s trans girls.

Unfortunately, I have a type when it comes to media, and it’s twinks who I can project transness onto if I desire it. These characters are beacons of androgyny, male-at-birth characters with some connection to femininity via their appearance or their actions. Often, this connection is left unclear by the end of their series, leaving plenty of room for me to imagine “OK so they’re totally gonna be a girl for real now”. This archetype has proven a very useful crutch for me over the years. For so long, media about cis femininity was too intimidating and distant for me to even dream of consuming. During that time, I read lots of manga and played lots of games starring androgynes, allowing myself to project onto them as well as project their character onto girlhood. (see where this leads by transitive property?) Also, a lot of them were blonde (I’m not gonna read into this! My hair is closer to brown tho). With that out of the way, let me rip my heart open and highlight some of those twinks that I’ve latched so strongly onto throughout the years.

 Kuranosuke from Princess Jellyfish

I’ve written a whole writeup on Kuranosuke, so if you’ve read that you should know where I’m coming from! Kuranosuke is graced with natural femininity and a desire to perform it, and lands himself into a situation where he must pass on a daily basis while designing fashion for the girls of the Amars house. Kuranosuke’s crossdressing is both effortless and extremely laborious, but it always pays off.

Kaito from Himegoto: Juukyuusai no Seifuku

Himegoto is one of the messiest mangas I’ve ever read. Three characters spiral around each other while desperately trying to negotiate their orientations, gender presentations, and livelihoods with each other and with themselves. Kaito is the standout for me – a ‘guy’ who crossdresses in a desperate attempt to ‘mirror’ his ideal image of femininity. Kaito radiates extremely eggy energies, and it’s increasingly obvious as the plot goes on that all his justification is elaborate smoke and mirrors for his desire to simply be a woman. He begins by projecting his feminine ideals onto his tomboyish friend, but by the end of the manga it all comes collapsing back onto himself. The epilogue leaves it rather ambiguous, but one can only hope that Kaito figured it all out by then. 

Alucard from Castlevania: Symphony of the Night  

Symphony of the Night is one of my favorite Castlevanias and maybe games of all time. I’ve always been in love with its hand-in-hand elegance and jankiness. Unlike Kaito and Kuranosuke, we’re going to have to stretch out of the canon to justify this placement, but I assure you it will be worth it. In Symphony of the Night, Alucard is a tall deep-voiced bishounen and that’s that. However, the eva problems classic “YOUR ASSHOLE DAD’S CASTLE IS BACK AGAIN” adds a sickening new twist onto the game: what if Alucard wanted to be a woman? This article retraces the full plot and route of SOTN, adding extra backstory and inner thoughts showing Alucard’s visceral bodily discomfort and twisted-up jealousy towards the female monsters of the castle. Eventually, she takes those terrifying first steps towards accepting oneself as a woman. It’s one of the most effective recontextualizations of a piece of media that I’ve ever read, and I’m not afraid to admit that it reassured and helped me with my own transition a few months down the line. Plus, the idea of Alucard But A Girl is somewhere near my ideal aesthetic. 

Ryo Asuka from Devilman

--devilman spoilers--

Ryo is a bit of an oddity. A total weirdo, he doesn’t particularly demonstrate femininity throughout most of the series beyond just being kind of fluffy and cute in the 80s OVAs. However, this all changes in some of the final chapters, when Ryo is revealed to be Satan in disguise. Though every Devilman adaptation has a very different artstyle, Satan’s designed has remained the same: an androgynous fallen angel possessing both breasts and a penis. There’s a lot of associations and implications to unpack there, but I’m not going to do that in this article! While it doesn’t necessarily recontextualize Ryo’s human existence, he sure still is a twink with some Gender happening around him.

  Venus from We Know The Devil

Ok, this one’s just a girl! No questions about it! Someone get her some hugs and a bottle of estradiol, stat!

Honorable Mentions:

Raiden from Metal Gear Solid 2

As much as I love slapping the “GIRL” label onto any blonde twink I can find, Raiden’s MGS2 arc of intense emasculation works way better if he's actually a guy. If there’s any further gender stuff happening with Raiden, it’s actually to be found in MGS4 and Metal Gear Rising, in which Raiden sheds his twinkish flesh to become a way more masc cyborg ninja. As The Cyborg Manifesto teaches us, cyborgs are one hell of a post-gender tool. Honestly, reading Raiden as FTM may work way better than parsing him as a trans girl, I just don’t have the specific background and ability to do that headcanon justice.

Lio Fotia from Promare

Promare was maybe the first time I saw a blonde twink character and didn’t  immediately think it might be better if they were a girl. Amidst all its discussions of immigration, racism, and climate change, Promare finds time to be real gay, in a delightfully masc4fem way. Together, Lio and Galo stretch the full spectrum of male presentation, and I wouldn’t want to take that away from them.

 So that’s that! I hope you enjoyed the lineup of twinks who are dear to my heart, and maybe learned a thing or two from my ramble at the start.

[dreamjukebox]

One of my favorite experiences as a record store owner was when a new regular, Jordon, told me he wanted to get into David Bowie and asked me which album I suggested he start with. FYI: Jordon is 23 yrs old, so it’s not that surprising that he wasn’t well versed in Bowie’s music. I mean, I didn’t get deeply entrenched in it until the last decade or so, so as much as I want to judge younger people who don’t know the classics, I try not to.

I had a few Bowie reissues in stock at the time; Hunky Dory, The Rise & Fall of Ziggy Stardust & The Spiders From Mars, and Station to Station. I recommended my first Bowie album, the one who made me first fall in love with his music: Ziggy Stardust. I bought it on CD with the spending cash my mom had given me when I flew to Chicago to visit extended family one summer in middle school. I have a lot of really positive memories from freshman and sophomore year listening to it, reading the liner notes, memorizing the lyrics...

Jordon wasn’t sure. So I described each of the three albums as succinctly as I could. Hunky Dory was a little more folky, like his earlier albums, but it’s where his artistic voice really coalesced into what we would know as David Bowie from that point forward. Ziggy Stardust is simply a perfect rock n roll album. It has laid back tracks to be sure, but it’s a full departure from Bowie’s earlier folk roots. It’s also very accessible. Station to Station was a bit harder to describe. My immediate feelings about it are that it’s a little higher concept, but that doesn’t really ring true. The songs on their own are fabulous and easy to listen to, but I guess the overall feeling of the album really speaks to where he was while making it. He was coming close to the end of a period where he was doing a massive amount of drugs and deeply entrenched in occult study. In a lot of ways it’s a transitional album from the end of glam rock into the Berlin Trilogy and into the more pop/dance music he would make in the 80′s. (I often forget that Young Americans falls between Diamond Dogs & Station To Station because I see such a straight line from Diamond Dogs to Station to Station to the Berlin Trilogy. My brain always wants to slide Young Americans a few notches later in his discography.)

Jordon ended up going with Hunky Dory. He came back about two weeks later and reported LOVING the album. I did a tiny herkie jump in excitement! He asked me what he should get next. I only had the two reissues in stock now. I suggested Ziggy Stardust again naturally. I didn’t think he was ready for Station to Station after only listening to Hunky Dory. No way.

The rebellious little shit went with Station to Station. About two weeks later he was back (he came in nearly every two weeks for a while, bless him), and admitted I was probably right and although he liked it, it was probably a bit dark for him at that point. Jordon finally bought Ziggy Stardust that week.

This is when Jordon became like a brother to me. He first came into the store on the recommendation of my actual younger brother Matthew, whom he had worked with. Jordon and I became fast friends and since I saw him much more frequently than my actual brother, and TBH, a little bit to guilt Matthew for never hanging out with me, I started calling him my “new brother”.

When I bought a selection of vintage Bowie albums, which didn’t happen a lot (people are just holding on to them more since he passed away), I thought I should suggest Jordon pick up something vintage for his collection. Of the albums I had got in, I was going to suggest Space Oddity or Man Who Sold The World, but both sold super fast. What was left was an 80′s reissue of his self-titled first album (not that great imo), David Live and Images, a compilation. I didn’t think any of them were up Jordon’s alley.

The same seller came in and sold me some more from his collection over the next several months and I finally got something to suggest to Jordon. I was going to recommend Aladdin Sane just because the cover is iconic and I thought he’d like to have it in his collection, especially an original 70′s copy. But again, it sold super fast. Of what was left, Diamond Dogs was the natural next choice. Plus, in my opinion, it’s a superior album to Aladdin Sane. I DM’d Jordon to let him know and he had me hold Diamond Dogs for him until the next morning. When he came in, I told him if he liked Ziggy Stardust, he would like Diamond Dogs. It’s a great glam rock album like Ziggy, but it’s a little darker, a little sleazier. He bought it immediately and later text me that it was now in the running for his favorite Bowie album. That may have made me the happiest. Diamond Dogs is currently my favorite Bowie album (along with Station to Station). And I was really excited to have helped him get some vintage Bowie as such a new collector (I sold him his very first record & turntable on his first visit nearly a year prior). I was lucky to have picked up almost all my David Bowie records at a local used bookstore around 2009/2010 for less than $10 each. Vinyl was coming back but it was still a buyer’s market back then. Really good records could still be found all over the place for good prices. And of course since 2016, it’s been nearly impossible to find any of his stuff second hand in the wild, especially his 70′s albums, in my experience at least. You could maybe find a shabby copy of Let’s Dance if you were lucky.

Coincidentally, Let’s Dance is the last album I ever sold Jordon. My store closed last month, and a few days prior, an older man dropped off a box of vintage records - a donation - including a whole bunch of Davie Bowie LPs. When I asked if he was sure for the hundredth time (there was also a lot of Rolling Stones and Prince in there too, people just don’t give that stuff away), he told me “They were my ex-wife’s. I don’t give a shit what’s in there. They’re yours.” There were probably at least 30 records in that box, and only maybe 3 of them were stinkers (easy listening/classical stuff that no one wants). Every album we pulled out was accompanied by a gasp. They were a little dirty, but cleaned up really well. All of them were in VG to VG+ condition. With the shop closure eminent, I decided to hold on to a few of the ones missing from my collection. I deserved to walk away with something I figured. I ended up keeping Low, Scary Monsters, and Lodger, along with Around The World In a Day by Prince. I was happy to keep Let’s Dance if it didn’t sell by the last day.

Jordon, the rebellious little shit that he is, came in the afternoon of our last day and bought Let’s Dance. I was happy to see it go into his collection rather than mine.

Around Christmas, Jordon text me a picture of his Secret Santa gift at work:

Music is one of the best things we do as humans, and it is certainly something that is incredibly important to me and always has been. When you have such a deep attachment to music, a passion for sharing it comes naturally I believe. I’m passionate about a whole lot of things, and I can get a little over eager when I share those things with other people. I’ve become quite accustomed to people ignoring my suggestions. So when someone actually listens to something I’ve told them about, almost nothing makes me happier.

Meeting this kid and introducing him to David Bowie’s music and his coming to love it so much that it’s known around his office was definitely one of my favorite experiences from the last 15 months.

[sabraeal]

He Who Studies Evil [Part 3/4]

Part 1 | Part 2

A prequel to Wanting Is More Pleasurable Than Having (And Other Things Vulcans Don’t Know a Damned Thing About), written for @bubblesthemonsterartist. Also many thanks to @claudeng80 for reading this over this whole fic for Star Trek mistakes since it had been...many many years since I’d seen a DS9 episode, and memory alpha can only do SO MUCH

It takes a week for the other shoe to drop.

It had only been a matter of time; tensions were high on Terok Nor, and negotiations had slowed to a crawl. Diplomacy had never interested him quite as much as the other subjects at the academy, and every minute he spends in the board room with Gul Dukat and his cronies, he’s reminded of why.

The prefect seems to take great joy in arguing over every concession, over every word, and at times it’s only Sui’s level head that sees them through the meeting without incident. It’s as if the Gul sees this armistice as a wish on a monkey’s paw -- meant to be worded with the utmost care, or else it will come around and bite you in the end.

Haruka groans. There’s probably some Cardassian saying about that too. God knows he’s heard nearly all of them, sitting across from that man.

“Here he is, Ambassador,” the constable tells him, bringing Shidnote forward with a none-too-gentle shove. “I hope, for your sake, cooler heads prevail in the board room.”

“I’ll see to it they do,” Haruka assures him, catching Shidnote around the elbow. “You know young men and their tempers.”

The constable is a strange looking man, features oddly rounded near the nose and brow, but he still manages a glare that make Haruka hope he won’t be dealing with the constabulary again. “No. I do not.”

The room has been silent for minutes now, Shidnote perched on his torture contraption of a bed and Haruka just standing there, hoping a solution would present itself.

“You may have lost us this treaty, you know,” he manages, though that’s hardly his concern. “I understand how you must feel, cooped up with the Gul and his men day after day, but you cannot just pop off at the first overseer that strikes a nerve.”

“Not to put too fine a point on it, sir--” the word comes out twisted, a mockery -- “but you have no idea how I feel.”

Haruka’s mouth thins. He does not miss being this young, not one bit. “I think you will find I know more than you think. You may tell Councilor Wisteria that if she means to scrub a file, she should hire someone with a better grasp of subterfuge.”

That makes Shidnote take notice, finally.

“I know about Lido,” he says, “and I know about Bajor, and I have suspicions about the Kohn-Ma --”

“I didn’t join the Kohn-Ma,” Shidnote grits out. “I was already fighting against butchers, I didn’t need to become one.”

“That, at least, I’m glad to hear.” Haruka sits, taking the chair at the desk. “I suspect you have your orders, though.”

He grimaces, only for a moment, but it’s enough. “Orders? I’m only --”

“It’s no good, Ensign,” he tells him with a bemused wave, “I know the Councilor too well. She sent me on my own secret mission as well.”

“The kid?” Shidnote asks with a wince.

Haruka nods. “The child, yes. Have you heard anything?”

“Just rumor.” The man shrugs, looking uncomfortable in his operations yellow. “I thought I might hear something a Quark’s--”

“The gambling den?”

His shoulders twitch. “You know how it is, men drink there, get sloppy...”

“A little too sloppy, it seems,” Haruka remarks. The boy flinches. “I won’t be able to take you back in the board room.”

“Oh no,” Shidnote deadpans. “Please. No. You can’t.”

“All right, all right.” He’d laugh, if there were any humor left in him, but Terok Nor has drowned the last of it right out. “Enough of that. There’s no need for theatrics.” He fixes him with a warning look. “I do, however, expect you to stay in your quarters until further notice.”

“But--”

“You may continue your inquiries as long as you take Sui,” Haruka tells him, enjoying the way the ensign’s jaw drops.

“Sui?” he squeaks, incredulous. “But he couldn’t be subtle if the Federation depended on it.”

“You’ll take him anyway. He needs the practice if he wants to go into command.” Haruka gives him a sharp smile. “And besides, I think he’ll be a good influence on you. Now if you’ll excuse me,” he says, creaking up to standing, “I think I have a Ferengi to apologize to.”

He, of course, does not apologize to the Ferengi. Firstly, because the man runs a gambling establishment of dubious legality with dabo girls who are little better than indentured servants, and he is no stranger to hot heads and even hotter tempers; secondly, every Ferengi expects to be consoled in gold-pressed latinum, and there just isn’t room for it in the Federation’s budget. Ever.

Instead, he buys a drink. By his math, that makes him and the proprietor even.

The Gamzian wine hits him quick, and for the first time in days he feels like he can breathe, that whatever muscles have been holding him ramrod-straight this whole time can suddenly relax. He leans over, resting his head on the bar, and lets out a long, heartfelt sigh.

“Feeling all right there, ambassador?” oozes a voice across from him, and perfect, he’s caught his host’s attention. “Not that I want to discourage your continued patronage, but I must remind you that we have a firm ‘no returns’ policy.”

Haruka raises his head, and wonders if the man is suffering from some sort of aphasia. “Excuse me?”

“I mean, if you are going to upchuck, as you humans so quaintly call it, you’ll have to leave.” He tugs at his jacket, as if it gives him some small measure of authority and -- well, it is his bar. He’s probably as close as one comes, in a place like this.

“I’ve only had the one drink,” he replies, annoyance seeping through his words. “I was only...relaxing.”

“Well, now.” The man leans over the counter, as if he’s about to let him in a trade secret. “If relaxation is what you’re looking for, friend, come no further. We have holosuites upstairs with the finest fantasies made by the Brothers Quark.”

Haruka only just manages to bite back a grimace. A night of fantasy conceived by a Ferengi man’s mind seems like something destined to be vulgar, if not disturbing. Taste was not something the Rules of Acquisition required or encouraged.

“I’m satisfied with the drink,” he assures his host. “It’s not even finished.”

“Well, you’re welcome to anything on the menu,” the Ferengi tells him. “Just make sure if you order anything new, you come ask for me, Quark. I am well-traveled, but my brother--” he makes a wavering gesture with his hand-- “We don’t get many of your kind out this way. Wouldn’t want you swilling down poison, now would we? Though I’d still let you buy it, if you wanted.”

“How gracious of you.” Kain must have planned this. There was no other reason how he would end up prolonged contact with a Ferengi.

“Business is business,” he shrugs. “Though I suppose allowing that sort of thing doesn’t exactly encourage repeat business. But the customer is always right. Ah, a complex philosophy.”

It would not be hyperbole to say that poison was looking to be an agreeable option the longer he sat here. “Quite.”

“I’d ask what brings you here, Ambassador, but I don’t think anyone on this station doesn’t know.” This...Quark takes a friendly lean, smile baring the sharp rows of his teeth. “Trying to bring the Cardassians into the Federation, eh? A hard sell, I’d say. They don’t bow to anyone but the Union. And the Obsidian Order, but well, it’s all one in the same really.”

He can only stare, stupefied. Aside from the vendors, there was hardly a person on this station that was not a Cardassian or a Bajoran, and yet a rumor like this had spun up: that after years of firing shots over the border, the Federation would try to bring the limping Union into the fold. If only he could trace those words back, if he could find whether they were words of the fearful Cardassians or the disgruntled Bajorans --

Ah, but it wouldn’t matter, not unless the idea was popular enough to leverage it against Gul Dukat. He may not know much about the Union itself, but he was certain that they had no interest in yielding up Cardassia to any other interests. Conquerors did not often enjoy becoming the conquered.

It would make a certain amount of sense on the Federation’s part, of course; they had managed the alliance with the Kingons decades ago, if not brought them fully in, and doubtlessly it would be part of the long-term plan. However....

He couldn’t see it. They would be lucky for the armistice to happen at all if Gul Dukat kept trying to negotiate as he was, as if the Union were in the stronger position and not merely a smaller force that had thus far gotten lucky in their engagements.

No, not lucky. Their strategies were tight, and their discipline superior to Starfleet. But they lacked the sheer manpower available to the Federation, and eventually those overwhelming odds would come to bear. Cardassia could not continue to lose ships, not as they had been.

“Is that s--?”

“Rom!” Quark snaps, whirling on one of the Ferengi hovering nearby. “Stop staring and get back to work!” He turns back to Haruka with an ingratiating smile. “You’ll have to excuse my brother, ambassador. As I’ve said, he doesn’t get out much. Never seen an adult human before.”

He nearly waves it off -- it wouldn’t be his first time he’s been a physiological oddity, not by a long shot, but -- his breath catches. “An adult human? Do you mean to say he’s seen a child?”

His host hesitates, and Haruka can see the gold-pressed latinum in his eyes. “Why, I have to say, it could be, but...the old memory isn’t working as good as it used to. We Ferengi live a long time, after all. These brains are big but...well...I can’t hold on to everything...unless I think it might be important...”

Let it never be said Haruka doesn’t know the prompt for a bribe when he hears one. He drops a few slips of latinum on the bar.

“Oh, the boy! The human boy!” Quark nods, pocketing the bars. “He’s been here a long while, far as I know. They walk him around the promenade every once and a while, just so we all know what happens when you defy the Union.” He leans in, whispering behind a hand, “Though you’d have to be a fool to keep your children here, if you ask me.”

Only the vestiges of his common sense keep him from flying to his feet, from giving this Ferengi far more leverage than is wise. “Do you know where they keep him?”

“Oh, I couldn’t possibly gu--” a handful of slips drop to the counter -- “the torture cells would be my guess. The constable is no friend of mine, but I doubt he’d let a boy like that in his brig.”

“Thank you,” he says, rising stiffly from his seat. “You’ve been more help than you could imagine.”

Quark’s mouth parts in another of his sharp smiles. “Then might I ask you to consider...a little more gratitude.”

The man leans over, jiggling a tip jar. Oh, how he hates Ferengi.

Shidnote’s barely said “Come in,” when Haruka steps through, taking in the two ensigns seated on the bed, both bent over the same PADD.

“Captain!” Sui yelps, scrambling to his feet. “I’m afraid we haven’t had a lot of time to --”

“Doesn’t matter now,” he snaps, turning his attention to Shidnote. The boy’s getting to his feet, but slowly, a belligerent expression on his face. “Do you know where the torture cells are?”

He blinks. “On a station like this? Sure.”

Haruka steps aside, sweeping his hand toward the door. “Then lead away.”

“Ambassador!” The Cardassian dogs his heels, dodging Shidnote and Sui as they trail along in his wake. “You’re not supposed to be down here! This is a restricted area, for senior officers only!“

Haruka barrels on; it’s the only way to deal with men like this, denying them the inch they need to take a mile. “I’m sorry, I don’t read Cardassian.”

There’s a pack of guards following him, each collected from the doors they watch along the hall, but despite their numbers they do not touch him, only lag just behind him and his ensigns, as if humans dripped poison. Perhaps they might as well, for the dressing down they would get if one of them came to harm.

One does dare, as they approach another door, and Shidnote whacks the hand away, giving him a warning look. “Ambassador, please,” the man tries instead, “you cannot be down here! You must leave!”

“Then arrest me,” he grunts, coming to the one door that doesn’t swish open at his passing. “And if you won’t, then open this door.”

His collection of Cardassians all look at each other, nervous. They must have sent for Gul Dukat by now, but the prefect is not here, and he is. According to protocol, he is the acting authority in this particular hallway, and there is nothing the Union loves more than obeying the hierarchy.

For a long moment, no one moves, as if they think they might be able to wait this out, that Gul Dukat might be able to make himself the through the bowels of this station in time to keep them from having to obey a Federation ambassador.

“You heard him” Shidnote snaps, jerking his head. “Open the door.”

Finally one surges forward, lips pressed so thin that gray turns white, and as the door opens he says, “This will cost me my life.”

It’s dim in this room, and it’s only with the ambient light spilling in from the hall that Haruka makes out the cells which line the wall. As his eyes adjust, he just makes out a small, hunched figure rounded over in a cell. Even through the distorted static of the force field, he sees the wild bristle of a head, the shivering spine of a child.

“You’ll have to excuse me,” he manages, hands fisted so tight his knuckles crack, “but I don’t give a single fuck about your safety.”

Sui and Shidnote slip through the door before him, and in moments Sui is holding up his scanner, face entirely too pale.

“It’s -- he’s human, sir,” he gasps, “and -- and alive.”

“Not for long, if the Cardassians have their way about it,” Shidnote grumbles, pacing in front of the force field like he’s the one caged.

“Open this,” Haruka demands, Still, the Cardassians hang back, somehow less eager to help, even now. “Perhaps I have not made myself here. You have been, at the least, complicit in the illegal incarceration and perhaps torture of a human child under the auspice of the Federation. Your lives will all be forfeit, if you don’t suddenly start being uncomplicit right now.”

That gets them moving.