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simpjaes · 7 months ago

Text

DAY-SHIFT. (p. sh)

― part one here! After finding out that your boss has seen, heard, and instructed you through some pleasurable nights while parading around as a faceless cam-boy, you decide that your best course of action is to: call out sick. use vacation days. avoid Park Sunghoon at all costs. Unfortunately, ten days doesn’t appear to be nearly enough time to erase what’s happened, and Sunghoon refuses to be avoided. or the one where sunghoon pretends that he isn’t an anxious mess over accidentally exposing himself and you just so happen to have a lot of fucking empathy.

minors dni

PAIRING ― boss / cam boy!sunghoon x afab reader

WORDCOUNT― 14.5k

CONTENT― forbidden office romance kind of, smidge of angst if ur sensitive, mentions of predatory behavior from sunghoon, he is more desperate than he is dominant, just the way we like it.

NOTE ― bro im so sorry this took way too long to write, it also is way longer than it's supposed to be. but yknow. i had to do him right lmfao. NOT PROOF READ.

nsfw tags under cut

nsfw tags― perverted sunghoon, heavy petting, making out, foreplay on a chair lol, desk sex, very intimate shit ok? ok., pussy eating, jerking off, finger fucking, fingers-in-mouth antics, gagging, implications of something more than just an office fling, unprotected sex, he fills you UP!!! YIPEE!!!

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Avoidance.

That is the only way you know out of any awkward or unsavory situation. Avoid, avoid, avoid. Find a new job, change your name, dye your hair– question all of your life choices up to this point.

It’s the fact that never in your life have you had an interest in live sex cams. It was always just a porn video or a nice erotic novel for you. Sometimes curiosity gets the best of you though, like it does all people, and it’s not like you thought anyone would ever know who you are or catch you in the act of feeding into your curiosities.

The one time you ever navigated to the live camera feed on your favorite porn site did shift your sexual appetite a little bit. A whole new world of seeing exactly what you want without needing to search for far too long for that perfect video…for a cost, of course.

You made good money already, and it’s not like you weren’t going for that promotion at the time either. You thought, why not? Why not pay a pretty, faceless man for some anonymous jerking off and move on with your life?

The one time you found something to satiate the late night body-cravings, the point of pleasure ended up being…your boss?

Small world? Miniscule, fucking tiny little world.

For days you wondered if Sunghoon’s text to you was just a coincidence. After all, the faceless man on screen didn’t say a word to you after you uttered the name of your boss. Even if he directly said your name. Even if Park Sunghoon uttered your false name at work.

Consistent back and forth in your head. From, “No, how could that even be possible? No way is it him.” to “but Mr.Park started being weird after the first call, he used both names, he played off of the boss/employee dynamic.”

You’re going crazy as you send another email to your department, apologizing for taking so many days off but not truly apologetic. It’s been ten days now and Sunghoon has yet to text you again.

That little “Can we talk?” can be heard in your head in his voice. Only now recognizing how clear and unique it truly is when he does speak. You try not to realize how similar the cam-boy sounded to him. Only connecting the dots when they force you to do it, really. You still try to convince yourself that the text was about firing you, given his actions at work that very same day.

Maybe he was avoiding you because he felt awful about needing to fire you?

Maybe he sent that text message to start the process of pushing you out?

After all, it’s still very difficult to imagine Park Sunghoon having a cock that nice, or cum in that amount. Given, it’s not like you ever thought about him jerking off or anything, it’s just–

You don’t fucking know. Your brain is a mess of shaking anxiety and echoes of sexual frustrations and moans.

You were refunded your money. He texted after the session. He said your name. It’s him, isn’t it?

You refuse to fucking find out.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

From:...[ [email protected] ]

CC:...[ [email protected] ]

BCC:...

Subject: Time off Request: Rejected. Insufficient PTO.

[insert your name here],

The time you have requested from the 27th to the 3rd has been rejected due to insufficient hours. As of last Thursday, you are no longer meeting the minimum hour requirement as a full-time employee. Your PTO is at 0 hours and 00 minutes and you now have three unexcused absences. Please return tomorrow with a signed order or note that exempts you from work. If you move forward without returning to the building, this will be grounds for termination. Please review the company handbook and job abandonment guidelines.

Additionally, COO Lee, myself, and Division manager Park will be scheduling a meeting with you in the upcoming days, failure to appear will result in immediate termination.

Thank you,

Well, fuck. You knew the time to avoid this would dry up, and this ten day hideaway to fake your death didn’t quite pan out.

Devastating, truly, that you have to walk through those doors with the same legs your boss may or may not have seen spread open for him through a grainy webcam image. Horrifying, that you have to look him in the eye and explain that you really were sick for the past ten days, that you definitely were not hiding the shame of your sexual desires.

The worst part about all of this? Not just the embarrassment but the fact that…you liked it. On that night, had he admitted it was him, you may not have ended the call yourself. It felt like it added some danger to your arousal at the time. Which, naturally, makes you more embarrassed now. Mostly because, at worst if that was Mr.Park, it was predatory. At best though? You very well may have consented.

But the what ifs don’t matter now. The only thing that matters is forcing yourself through the awkwardness of being at work after avoiding it for so long already.

Fortunately for you though, work is…weirdly normal. In fact, no one acts like you’ve missed ten days at all. You are greeted by the usual co-workers, you sit down at your desk and can log in as usual, and there are no warning emails or invitations for what would be considered a meeting of termination either.

The day goes by just fine, suspiciously so. Sunghoon, though you’re avoiding him at the moment, doesn’t appear to be too out of character either. At one point, you were forced to drop corrected paper work off in his office, and he gave you the same usual and small “Thank you” before you stepped out with your legs threatening to buckle.

Then again, his “casual” appreciation could just be your mind playing positive little tricks on you. Maybe it wasn’t casual at all. Maybe that little uncharacteristic breath afterwards isn’t just in your head. You didn’t make eye contact with him during that brief moment, and you did rush out quite quickly so you wouldn’t really know. However, in the deepest part of your brain his voice really does match the one who said all those dirty things to you.

Maybe you’re still overreacting.

Or maybe you dreamed all of this up.

You choose to remain unaware of the awkwardness around you solely because everything else is normal. Deep, deep down, you know. But you’re not giving that truth a chance to thrive or run your brain anymore.

And just as the day comes to an end, you’re actually feeling better. Anxiety is draining out of you, fear and embarrassment sit dormant in some hidden part of your brain over the small possibility of virtually fucking your boss. It seems you’ve let this work day clear up all of that fear in your head.

You were wrong, right? It wasn’t him, right? He’d have tried to defend himself by now. What boss wouldn’t be absolutely terrified that you’d report him, anyway? After all of that?

You actually feel a little dumb at the possibility of Mr. Park ever wanting you sexually, or ever even wanting to speak to you in that way. Asking to see your pussy? Telling you how to touch it? No, that’s definitely not him. Couldn’t be him.

And your eyes do stray after a little while. Just to steal glimpses into his office, feeling relieved and weightless now that it appears your fears are over and finally understood. Doesn’t change the fact that now when you look at him, you might be wildly fucking attracted to him. Because fuck, imagine if that was him. You’re kind of forced to put his image to the faceless cam-boy now, not that you want to do that or anything. It just…you can’t really blame yourself for it.

You lend yourself a little laugh. As happy as you are that you’re able to convince yourself that it’s not Sunghoon’s cock you’ve yearned for, you really wouldn’t mind sleeping with someone as handsome as him.

Crazy how the lack of anxiety lets you think those types of things though, isn’t it? When your brain is no longer fogged by fear or embarrassment, it’s like the clarity can sometimes be scarier simply because you don’t know how true certain statements are. Even through all of that fear, maybe a part of you wished it was him.

Even with the weight on your shoulders lifted, in hindsight, maybe you’re even a little disappointed that it wasn’t.

And, just as you’re preparing to clock out and head home with a big secret crush and a little pep in your step, you hear the familiar notification of an email. No problem, probably just a daily report or something.

From:...[ [email protected] ]

CC:...

BCC:...

Subject: Mandatory Advising

[insert your name here],

Please come to my office before you leave for the day to discuss your conduct as of late.

Thank you,

Park Sunghoon

Division Manager

000-000-0000 ext. 000

Well, double fuck. To think everything was fine despite you being well aware of that shit HR said to you previously?

You barely recognize how the email is sent directly to you from Mr. Park, not including HR or COO Lee. In fact, the anxiety wells up inside of you so quickly that you nearly have to dry heave a few times before taking a deep breath.

In your head, it’s not even about the web-cam session with a faceless man anymore. Your anxiety about that died the moment you successfully lied to yourself enough, now you’re genuinely just afraid you’ll lose your job or that beloved promotion you worked so hard to be qualified for. You just had to let your anxiety run your life for the past ten days, didn’t you? After all, skipping work to such an extent? Everyone had to have known that it was a lie eventually.

So, you stand to your feet, brush off your thighs, and attempt to keep your heart from pounding as you make your way to Mr. Park’s office expecting to see HR, COO Lee, and a severance package on the desk waiting for your signature.

Instead, you walk in to just find your boss. He’s looking at you as he normally would, eyes focused on his screen before glancing at you for a moment and nodding his head to one of the chairs in front of his desk.

“Mr. Park–” You start, nearly wincing at the way you say it because, well, you haven’t said it since the night you had your pussy out on display. It’s only natural to physically react, right?

“One moment.” He says in a small voice, clicking a few times with the mouse as you watch the monitor light shine across his cheeks with each window he minimizes.

It’s silent for a few moments as you awkwardly look around an office you’ve been in countless times. His lights are always dimmed, the temperature is always comfortable. You’re gonna miss this office, though it’s not your own. It was a nice, brief escape before all of this if you’re being honest.

“How was work for you today?” He turns his attention to you, finally adjusting and rolling his chair to center himself in front of you behind his desk

You pause at the question, unintentionally tilting your head at it like a puppy. “Good? Normal, I guess?”

You watch as he nods with a tight-lipped expression, eyes falling to his desk as he takes in a deep and disappointed sounding breath.

“Well, that’s one of us.” He huffs out, causing you to feel a bit confused with his tone. Is he being…passive aggressive? And when he snaps his eyes from his desk straight to your own confused gaze, you can almost sense a bit of something else in them compared to usual.

Not anger. Not disappointment.

He looks worried.

“Eleven days–” Sunghoon drones on with an exhausted tone, cutting himself off with another breath that shows you were right to assume his current displayed emotion. “You have ignored my text messages for eleven days.”

You’re shocked by that because as far as you’re concerned, he has not texted you.

“What are you–” You furrow your brows at him, frantically pulling out your phone. “You haven’t texted me. See? The last one I got was–” You take a second as you pull up his texts and remember the exact time he texted you. So late into the night, right after…that. Naturally, you silence yourself, afraid to say it out loud.

“On the contrary,” Sunghoon denies your proof. “I texted from my personal phone.”

You hesitate again, looking down and noting the notifications under the tab of “message requests.” To be fucking fair though, you didn’t even know that existed so you never really paid attention to it. Especially as you practically avoided your phone out of fear that he’d be texting you again.

You were thankful he didn’t. That comforted you. Now though? Your comfort is replaced yet again with anxiety because, well, he texted you consistently after that night.

“Oh–” You say quietly, seeing a glimpse of “Please, let me call y–” in one of the messages.

“I didn’t see those.” Quickly, you turn your screen off and shove your phone back into your pocket, nervously clasping your hands in front of you and looking to the floor.

“I will reiterate then.”

You can hear the leather on his chair squeak against his expensive suit when he leans forward, both hands splayed out on his desk in a wide and intimidating stance in front of you.

“Wait–” You look around the office now. “If you’re going to fire me– shouldn’t the others be here too?”

Sunghoon pulls back at that, narrowing his eyes before lending a very small and even more nervous chuckle.

“I’m not firing you. I told them I’d take care of your sudden and, quite frankly, unhelpful vacation.”

You look to the floor again, feeling scolded for your actions but having a genuine reason. If Sunghoon truly is aware of that reason for your absence, he understands too, right?

“I have been beyond inappropriate with you.” He blurts now, that same leather squeaking as he leans back again and looks away from you the moment you snap your head up. “I have reason to believe you’ve not yet reported me, and I’d like to ask for the opportunity to explain myself before you do.”

You feel a chill wash over your whole body, cold sweat peaking right at your temples as you stare forward. He’s being so professional about this, and that lie you’ve convinced yourself of is showing it’s face as just that, a fucking lie.

So this is it?

So there it is? A semi-admittance that it was him? That little feeling in the back of your head that wishes it was diminishes within an instant. In fact, you narrow your eyes at him, your nose crinkles, and you feel frustration bubble up in your gut.

“So you admit that it was you?” You ask, needing a full confirmation.

“Yes.” Sunghoon sighs, leaning back somehow further, creating as much distance from you as possible before unintentionally rolling his eyes. Mostly due to the fact that he was stupid enough to let this happen, mostly to shame himself. “What I did was inappropriate and unacceptable. I didn’t intend for this to ever happen.”

Now you feel a bit…pissed off.

Like? Oh, he didn’t intend for this to happen? What? You mean he didn’t intend to let you fucking find out! Well, as good as he is at playing the part of a slutty man on the internet, he’s not so good at acting in real life, now is he? Saying your false fucking name at work, saying your real name with his cock out?

What in the fuck are you supposed to do about this? Why is he giving you the ability to report him? He’s the one with the power here. He could fire you now and bury the information if he so pleased. After all, He’s besties with COO Lee, right? That bitch in HR has an obsession with him too. Hell, everyone here loves the guy.

You’re just a bottom of the barrel employee trying to work your way up. If you got him fired, surely he’d make damn sure you never work for a decent company like this one again. Additionally, you don’t even want to report him.

Yeah, it was fucking weird that he just knew it was you and kept going. Super strange that he had to have known after the first call, only to ask to see you in the second one. Why does that turn you on in the midst of this anxiety induced spiral? Why the fuck is the idea of Park Sunghoon apologizing for masturbating to and for you so alluring?!

Sure, maybe it’s kind of nice knowing that someone of his status would ever find an interest in you, but it doesn’t quite wash the frustration away. You have every right to question, and every right to be pissed off about it.

Still, in this quiet room, Sunghoon is stoic and all you can think about when you look at him is the way he said “if I were your boss i’d–” and the way he fucked his palm while saying it, implying he wanted it to be you while simultaneously knowing it was you watching.

Since fucking when did Mr. Park ever show a sexual interest in you? And if he did, why the fuck couldn’t he have just been normal about it?

“That was really fucked up, you know that?” You argue immediately, voice shaking at the speed of which your emotions shift. Your resolve isn’t quite as clear as it probably should be. Perhaps you should report him, or maybe you already should have. But, it’s not like you accepted the truth until he demanded it of you.

You would have let it slide. Both of you could have pretended it never happened. You could’ve gone home and continued working, never paying a cam-boy again had Sunghoon not called you into this stupid, comfortable ass office.

“In my defense, I was just doing my job. Though it’s my own fault for not telling you, my job here was at risk if you had found out.”

“You made me talk about you.” You roll your eyes at him now, gaining the power and control over the conversation. “And you thought I wouldn’t find out?! What? Did that get you off or something?”

“I–” Sunghoon stops himself from answering that question truthfully. He quickly tries to explain away the stutter instead. Never has he been scolded by an employee, but you’re well within your rights to do so. “I wasn’t in my right mind. I never get called by name during these sessions and I apologize for having you say it.”

“And you want me to report you?” You raise a brow at him. “Want me to just storm right into HR and tell her how you’re a fucking pervert? Want me to tell her how you told me to repeat your name? To thank you for it? Is that really what you want?”

Are you enjoying yourself a little too much? Maybe.

Sunghoon doesn’t respond though, instead, he runs his hand through his hair and sighs from the stress welling up inside of him. He can only act calm and collected for so long, and it’s been eleven days already. He hates how hearing you say those words goes straight to his cock at a time like this, he hates even more how all of this could have been avoided if he had simply declined your second call.

But you’re not wrong. He is a pervert, and he did tell you to thank him for the pleasure you were getting from his voice and half image alone. At the time, he was so turned on he really just couldn’t help himself. You fed his sexual appetite unknowingly and now this is the consequence of his action. Being a known pervert.

Is it what he wants though? To be reported? Humiliated?

Fuck.

Arguably, just having you humiliate him like this is enough. Drives him crazy, really. Whether it be from arousal or guilt, or both.

And for the first time since you started working here, you see him for what he truly is. A strong man to an extent, but he’s crumbling under his own mistake and it makes you wonder just how far he would’ve taken it had you not found out.

“And what if I didn’t realize who I was fucking myself for?” You glare. “Would you have asked for more? Avoided me here even more? Would you have declined my application for the assistant position because you can’t come to terms with the fact that you’re a fucking pervert?!”

Sunghoon raises his hands in defense.

“Please–” His voice sounds panicked. “Please, keep your voice down.”

“Answer the question, then. Just fucking own it at this point.” You throw your arms up now, letting them fall back down in a slap to your thighs. “Would you have made my work-life miserable just so you could watch me get off to you? Knowing the whole time? Would you have kept on with that boss slash employee shit just so it felt more real for you?”

Staring forward at him, you watch him accept that everything you’re saying is likely exactly what would have happened. Maybe he really will try to own it. Which would be… a good thing if you decide to let your own resolve falter.

So fucking secretive, huh? An actual, real life degenerate? And it’s Sunghoon of all people?

“Maybe…” Sunghoon trails off, making himself seem much smaller than he usually is on a day-to-day basis. “I mean, No–I,”

Oh, he’s actually stuttering.

“And you want me to tell on you? You want me to fuck your life up?” You raise a brow. “As if I didn’t pay you to do it?”

In all honesty, aside from the anxiety and awkwardness, and despite never once thinking of Sunghoon too sexually, things have changed. Drastically. Especially after being confronted with this situation and he’s not intimidating you or using his power to control you. No, he’s giving you the power and quite frankly, you don’t know what to do with it.

Are you basking in it? Absolutely. Is it nice to see him cower in front of you? In that big plush chair that costs more than your monthly income? Hell yeah.

But goddamn, had he approached you before all of this and asked for a date, or showed interest, you would have gladly partaken in a secret romance with him. He’s intelligent, attractive, clean, and has money. It’s not like you ever expected the guy to go home and fuck himself on camera.

You never thought he was the type to be so lonely either. Or so desperate, judging by how he acted during those two sessions. Arguably, you always wondered why there was never a ring on those pristine fingers.

And while you were definitely the victim in this situation, you feel more embarrassed than you do violated. Many nights you thought of how he spoke, how he said how badly he wanted you. It’s embarrassing because you’re starting to love the idea of who those words really came from. The Park Sunghoon, so untouchable in the business world. So untouchable by women and men solely because he appears to be too expensive, too pristine.

But you…

You’ve seen him dirty.

Part of you wishes you didn’t pay to be humiliated like this. The rest of you wishes you didn’t fucking like it as much as you do.

“It’s only fair.” Sunghoon explains with a short breath. “I feel awful for what I’ve done, and I should have told you the moment I recognized her as, well–” He pauses with a pained face, as if he hates hearing himself say it. “You.”

“Then, why didn’t you?” You raise your brow again, nearly forgetting you’re at work, solely focused on the conversation at hand and feeling relieved at the way it’s going.

Sunghoon shifts in discomfort, looking away from you.

“Do you want honesty?” He asks in a quiet voice, leaning forward on his desk but refusing eye contact. He keeps his gaze lowered the entire time, his voice small and shaky.

There’s still people in the office, though his door is closed and it’s unlikely he can be heard.

You nod to him with an even smaller “Go on then.”

“I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t you.” He says, shifting his hands and picking at his cuticles.

Man, he really knows how to act sorry, doesn’t he?

“I avoided you after that first call, solely because I think I wanted her to be you. Which is…incredibly inappropriate.”

He looks up at you now, searching for a reaction and only seeing you nod at him. His eyes shift right back down as he continues.

“My avoiding you led you to– um– more services.” He explains quieter, admitting in full the situation he’s allowed to take place, seeming more and more insecure with his words than he ever has before. “I can admit that I have fantasies and needs.”

Silence.

“After that first call, I couldn’t help but be entirely attracted to you. The idea of–”

You suddenly find yourself thinking back to all of those things he said to you again, parading as if he wasn’t your boss, telling you what he'd do if he were. He seems to have accidentally found a sexual interest in the dynamic…and he fucking dragged you into it with him.

“Mr. Par– Sunghoon.” You cut him off, actually feeling a bit of pity now at his admittance.

His words make you feel like maybe he’s not entirely just a pervert who was intending to make you get off to him from the start. If anything, he probably felt uncomfortable at first knowing who was on the other end of the call. It’s the fact that his real life job was at risk if you found out, and still he indulged despite that. He accepted that second call, he asked for more, he acted like he really does want you.

To the extent that losing his job was in the front of his mind and he still did it. He ignored the danger of it and prioritized getting off…with you. You find yourself wondering if this would have happened to any other employee under him if they happened to stumble across his stream too.

Part of you wants to pretend he wouldn’t, because the idea that all of this is happening solely because it was you? It hits a little too hard, a little too deep.

“Okay, okay. Stop,” You say, keeping your eyes on him and willing him to look up at you. “You don’t have to keep explaining, I get it.”

“No.” He does meet your eye this time, stopping your brain of all thoughts at how differently you see him now versus all the times before. “I do.”

He’s so honest. Probably too honest for his own good. Maybe that’s why he’s so good at his job, maybe that’s why everyone loves him. Maybe a bit of lying would help him in this situation if it were anyone else, but for you?

You kind of enjoy the way he’s telling the truth. Admitting that he was desperate, apologizing for wanting you even if just for a brief moment.

“I asked you to turn on your camera for selfish reasons. I asked you to say my name, then I made the mistake of exposing myself because I–” He hesitates, closing his eyes and breathing in deeply through his nose. “I struggled to pretend it wasn’t me, and that she wasn’t you. I very well knew what I was doing, and at the time, I wished that you did too.”

More silence as you stare at him, stunned, slightly in awe.

“But I knew you wouldn’t have reciprocated. What I’ve done is criminal, and I am encouraging you to report me for it if that’s what you deem necessary.”

“And if I don’t?” You don’t leave any more room for silence now, feeling desired and validated.

You can’t pretend that you’re mad, though you were previously. You simply can’t pretend that, now at least, you wouldn’t reciprocate. If anything, you’re more interested now than you think you ever would have been before.

“We can forget any of this ever happened. I’ll stop streaming and accepting private calls, and we can hopefully move forward without any ill-feelings of one another.” He blinks at you, near pleading with his eyes. “I’ll push your application through– That is, if you still want the position.”

Sunghoon does wince at the bribe, considering he’s never done such a thing let alone commit acts of sexual harassment, or perhaps even non consensual foreplay with someone. It really really wasn’t entirely intentional, and he’s disgusted with himself. If you report him, he’d take the hit to his reputation and career, but if you don’t…what then?

Ill-feelings, he says? If anything, you might feel more ill parading around like you wouldn’t want him to do all of those things he said previously, with free-will to say as he pleased without the fear of you knowing who the words were coming from.

“Can you please stop with the professional talk?” You hum out with an exhausted eye roll. “I don’t want the promotion if you’re just offering it so I don’t rat you out.” You narrow your eyes now and lean yourself forward. “You hope to forget this ever happened? Really?”

Carefully, the two of you watch each other for a while longer. Sunghoon looking like he’s about to catch himself on fire, and you, looking annoyed and amused. Still, the thick air in the room starts to feel suffocating under the pressure of the “issue” at hand as you scold him further.

“What you did was predatory. But– I don’t want to ruin your life over this.”

You watch as Sunghoon listens, his posture opening up a bit more as you speak, showing that he’s being relieved of his stress through your words alone.

“Are you trying to hold a promotion over my head over this?”

Before he gets the chance to curl in on himself again, you answer for him.

“Maybe.”

You continue too, not letting him speak for the time being. Or, rather, giving him a chance to breathe.

“Should you change your username and continue doing what you want behind closed doors because it’s no one else’s business?” You really watch him this time. “Yes.”

He blinks at you, raising a brow in slight confusion.

“Did you take advantage of me?”

He nods before you whisper out another “yes” yourself.

“Would I let you do it again…?”

Oh, for Sunghoon, it’s hard to breathe right now as he anticipates what you’ll say. Is it going to be a ‘no’ this time? Are you going to stand up and change your mind? Despite just stating you don’t want to ruin his life?

God, hasn’t he already let you?

“Yes.”

Pause.

“I’m sorry?” Sunghoon responds in disbelief, shifting his eyes to his hands and then back to you. “Come again?”

“Sunghoon.” You make it a point to call him by his name now, ignoring the etiquette of a proper boss and employee dynamic. “I am humiliated by all of this but I can see that you are too. You’ve admitted your guilt and even go as far as encouraging that I report you.” You pause again, knowing that this isn’t where the conversation should be going for any, uh, normal person, you suppose.

“If you had just told me. If you had said anything about wanting to, like, fuck me, I would have done it with or without the promotion on the line.”

Does that make you sound a little desperate? Yeah. But it’s not like he doesn’t know how badly you need to be fucked. After all, you know, the cam sessions and stuff. You were literally paying a stranger to get you off.

Shouldn’t he, of all people, know that you were bad-off enough to get laid?

Sunghoon’s issue though, is that he never looks at his employees sexually. No matter how pretty, no matter how much they flaunt themselves at him. He never has, and probably never will again. If it hadn’t been for that single first session with you, all would be well. But now? He’s too attracted to you.

He wants you so badly.

“If you tell me right now that you want me, in the same way you did on that call–” You stop yourself to really look at him. With the way he swallows, the way his lips slightly part, the way his hands show signs of eleven days worth of nervous habit cuticle picking. “If you do all of those things you said you’d do ‘if you were my boss’...”

“Wait, wait–” Sunghoon stands in a rush, causing you to jump slightly at the sudden sound echoing off of the walls in the office. “Do you understand the consequences of what you’re implying right now?”

“If I fuck my boss, we could both be fired?” You smile, feeling the confidence raise within you. Watching the way he reacts to your lewd words face to face rather than through a microphone.

“That would be…correct.” He raises a brow.

“Well, technically, you’ve already been fucking me.” You look away from him, feeling a bit shy even with the confidence, but never having spoken to a man so bluntly before like this? It’s a bit scary. “Would it really make anything worse if, you know, I do reciprocate?”

Goddamn. Sunghoon might be a bit smitten. This situation could have gone a thousand different ways, and you offer the one that includes your legs spread across this fucking desk and his face buried between them?

Oh. Never has he been so willingly turned on at work.

“Is this what you want?” He asks in a breath, shifting his eyes to the door and walking towards it, immediately reaching for the lock but not quite turning it.

“Is that what you want?” You counter, turning and staring at the lock.

Sunghoon hides his nod, wanting you to be the one to answer first. After all, hasn’t he been self-indulgent enough?

“Do you want me to fuck you?” He finally breaks and says it, blatantly, not sugar coated, yet still sweet when the words hit your ears. “After all this, you still want it?”

You nod, dipping your head a bit against your shoulder.

Click.

“I guess I should have known.” Sunghoon plays with his words now, hand dropping from the now locked door and eyes entirely on you. “Do you want me to fuck you, or would you prefer–”

“You.” You smile, feeling your skin prickle at the electricity that enters the room through breath and words alone. It’s the way he already shifted. Like all of that anxiety melted out of him within an instant.

“No, no.” He stalks towards you now, the nervous Sunghoon is no longer in sight as he makes himself seem bigger, taller, far more intimidating. Just like he was on camera. “The me you saw on screen is not the same as what you’re seeing right now.” He tries to explain.

“Oh?” You tilt your head, and he only finds that cute.

Far too cute.

“You’d do as I ask, right?” His voice shifts to a raspy whisper as he centers himself in front of you, both hands reaching the arms of your chair as he hovers above you. “I’m far more tame online.”

Tame?! That’s what he calls tame?!

You stare up at him, keeping your jaw from falling slack as you physically see him shift from being your boss into being a man with a need. Not just any need either. A need for you.

Part of you wonders if he ever truly felt bad in the first place about all of this, because the shift from just moments ago is so dramatic it’s almost scary.

“So, tell me.” He leans down, inches from your face as his eyes start to fall to a half-lidded stare at you. “You’ll do as I say? You’d let me do it all for you, and not ask me to stop until I feel it best, yes?”

You swallow and slowly nod. Oh god, it really, really, is him.

“And while at work, you’ll behave?” He continues, lips now ghosting over yours to the point you can almost feel them press down. He’s implying that if you don’t tell, that this won’t be the only time too? Shit. He’s entirely aware of why this shouldn’t be happening, but still making it happen.

“No matter what I do to you, where or how I do it, you’ll behave?”

You can’t help it when you lift your chin, just a bit to rest your lips against his words, eyes falling closed and hands hesitant to reach out for his perfectly ironed shirt.

You feel his smile against your lips, with that sharp-toothed grin he rarely offers.

“Ah, so it’s true.” He murmurs against you, his hand reaching for yours and guiding it for you, straight to his belt. “Dirty, dirty girl.”

A small, pleased, sound leaves your throat when he does kiss you, adding his own pleased hum alongside yours as his hands still hold yours in place over his belt, not quite letting you do anything just yet.

”Gonna be quiet–” He whispers into your mouth, just against your tongue before licking out and against it. “Even when I tell you to moan my name?”

You really shouldn’t be surprised, but you still are. You like this Sunghoon better than the one who stutters and picks his cuticles. He’s owning it, and in a way, so are you.

After all, it wasn’t until today that you truly learned what Sunghoon is like when he’s aroused. Not that you ever should have known in the first place. The fact that you do know, the fact that he’s showing you? It just makes this all the more arousing, in your opinion.

All he needed was a green light and within seconds it seems, Sunghoon became the need you’ve been chasing for months now through porn sites and erotic novels.

You nod to his words, trying to drop your hand just a bit to feel what you’ve already seen. Just to feel how warm he is, how—

“Is that so?” Sunghoon whispers in an amused tone, guiding your hand right back to his belt, only to drop his other hand straight between your legs. “You’re supposed to do as I say. If I tell you to moan my name, you do it.”

Oh, the sexual confusion of what to do and which Sunghoon to obey. All you can do is continue to nod for him, hanging your head with a breath at the way he cups his hand over the entirety of your core. You wore pants today in order to hide your shame, to try and feel invisible based on previous circumstances. You’re not so happy about that now, as you try to feel his touch through the thick fabric only to shamelessly thrust your hips up and against his palm.

He moves his lips to the top of your head now, hovering over you in a perfect stance of power, hand gently rubbing up and and down despite your hips asking for a harsher touch. If anything, it makes him feel better knowing how you react to this.

In actuality, his relief is sending his arousal through the roof. Not only are you not going to rat him out but…you want more of it? More of him, in particular? Not the facade of him online?

At this point, if he gets caught, you’re both going down in flames. So, why not enjoy the ride?

Truly, it’s laughable in the way he’s just as amused as he is turned on, relishing in the fact that he wants you and you’re letting him have you despite his past actions. You’re messy too, he’s seen it, and now he gets to feel it.

“Mhm,” Sunghoon hums against the top of your head, now pressing his own hips forward against your hand. “Feel that?”

The electricity? How hard he is? How needy you are?

”Yeah…” You sigh absentmindedly, bumping his chin with your head when you try to look up at him. You only blink twice before he coos out with a sad little sound.

He doesn’t say a word after as he removes his hand and instead, grabs both of your hands and places them on his shirt.

“Go on.” He smiles, waiting to see you to start fumbling against his buttons.

And fumble, you do. Touching him, for some reason, feels so dangerous. Knowing you’re the one removing his shirt, watching his skin be revealed as it begins to fall open by your own doing? It’s electrifying. Enough to lose your train of thought as you study how toned and smooth his skin is. Just like how you had seen on camera, so clear in front of you now. You’re aching for him by this point, being able to feel his body heat, touch him, feel his eyes on you.

If you had really known back then who it was you were talking to, you very well may have pretended to not know as well, judging by the way your entire body catches fire for him.

And as his shirt falls completely open, he’s satisfied with the way you do it. Complacent and docile beneath him, nervous fingers shaking much like he did for the past eleven days. With those pretty eyes looking at him, like there’s nothing in your head at all.

He chuckles at you, grabbing your hands again and placing them right on his chest, helping your hesitant touch to massage and caress each bump and toned muscle. He intentionally flexes the further down your hands go, all the way back to his belt.

There, he looks down at where you touch, then back at you with a quirked brow. You stare up at him, blinking, face feeling hot, and it’s like you move your hands on instinct. The sound of his buckle being unclasped echoes in the room, and his eyes only darken with the sound.

The sound of it slipping from the loops when he takes it upon himself to remove it completely for you, the sound of his breathing, the sound of that zipper, the button, the shuffling of his pants being skewed down just enough to fit your hand inside.

He moans at the image alone, loving the way your smaller hand looks slipping down his pants, the way your breathing is somehow even as if you’re trying to keep yourself calm. So calm, so pretty, but he knows how needy you are. He shouldn’t, but he does, and he uses it to his advantage.

You’re the one who moans this time upon feeling that little twitch of his cock urging you to grab. And he helps you too, with the way he guides your hand under the front of his pants further, forcing your fingers to grab and grope the thick of his cock, uncomfortable and pressing between his briefs and undone zipper.

“Still, you’re just looking.” Sunghoon comments, pressing his hips forward slowly and gently. “I’m right here.” He continues to explain the situation to you, as if you’re not experiencing it. “You need me to show you how to touch me too?”

You hesitate with a groan caught in your throat. You’re still processing the size difference that you feel now versus what you saw. Bigger. Thicker. Heavier than you would have expected against your palm. Honestly, you were so focused on the fact that Sunghoon’s cock is currently fucking forward against you that you almost forgot how to jerk a man off by yourself.

His hand had been doing all the work for you, and you’re quick to take over.

Sunghoon lends a very small gasp at the way you try to grasp, and instantly both of his arms shoot to the chair behind your head. He grips it, dropping his chin to the top of your head before thrusting a bit harsher into the grip you try to hold on him.

“Harder.” He exhales, his cock twitching in your weak hold. “Grab me harder.”

You do, squeezing the bulge before intentionally adjusting it for him, allowing the head of his bulbous cock to peek from the top of his briefs.

His relieved sigh is enough, you can’t help it. With his chin sat atop your head like this, you have no choice but to watch the way he moves his hips. Just like he did on camera. His abs flex with each movement, his arms grip behind you on the chair tighter, and you couldn’t pull your eyes away from his desperate body even if you wanted to.

You thrust up too, as if your body craves what you’re already touching. And you do crave it, so much so that your clit aches against the denim you’re rubbing up against. Unfortunate that you wore these fucking jeans, honestly.

“Mr. Park–” You let out a small and frustrated cry, using your other hand to try and fail at unbuttoning your own pants.

He hides his smile at the way you’ve reverted back to his professional title, but pays no mind to it because that’s what he wanted to hear in your voice that night. A desperate sound of his name, a plea, a cry. He can’t help but cling to it and bury that pretty voice into the darkest parts of his brain. A memory he’ll revisit time and time again after this. That sound, those pretty lips, this weak grasp you have. For the time being, it’s his. You belong to him right now.

“Hm?” He hums out, fucking his hips forward while tilting his head back to look at you. “What is it, baby?”

Oh. You lost your train of thought.

Thankfully, he seems to do the thinking for you as he shifts his eyes down and watches you try to both please him and remove your own pants. A cute sight to him, really. Someone who was just scolding him for wanting this, fumbling for more?

So cute.

He chuckles, pulling his hips back from your hand and grabbing it, unbothered by the loss of your touch. Instantly he intertwines his fingers with yours, and grasps your other hand from your pants to do the same. Both your arms raise by his guidance to the back of the chair before he releases them.

You watch with a slack jaw and half-lidded eyes as he lowers himself, right onto his knees before he unbuttons your pants for you and very politely pulls them from your legs.

“This what you want?” He smiles, lying his cheek right against your exposed thigh and taking a deep inhale. It’s taking everything in him not to fawn over the woman who had him in his thoughts for the past however long, truly.

Then again, he’s weak. He doesn’t even look up at you through his words and, instead, nuzzles his nose right up and against the seat of your panties before inhaling with a pleasant hum. “To have me finally touching this pretty pussy for you?”

God damn, if you didn’t already know it was him on that camera, you do now. He speaks the same type of words, with the same confidence, the same sultry tone…

You can barely comprehend the way he slowly takes his own pants off because you’re too focused on the way he runs his lips across your skin with dirty thoughts spilling from them. Fingers tucked under either side of your panties in preparation before he eventually pulls them off of you.

“Did you wear those pants to hide yourself from me?” He comments now with an amused tone. “Knowing you wanted me to take them off of you anyway?”

You shake your head at him, holding your breath. You did wear them to hide, but you never would have expected this situation to go in a direction involving his mouth anywhere near where you need it. Sure, you assumed he would have rejected you, you assumed that if it was him– he’d have been so disgusted with himself that he’d only gag at your presence.

But no. You were bold in your words, and he seems to feed into that.

“No?” He furrows his brows and lifts his head. Now lowering your panties much like he did for your pants. He’s quick with his next action, seemingly hiding his own desperation through playful comments at you. “Why not?” He adds, instantly pressing his thumb against your clit and fucking shining his eyes up at you with a semi-pouted mouth.

You roll your eyes back at the sudden pressure, relaxing your shoulders and slouching down in the chair. Your legs spread further on instinct, granting him a full view of your sticky cunt parting open for him.

His eyes glance down, peering into the heat you offered once before ever knowing it was him looking. Clicking his tongue, he can’t help but bite his lower lip to hold himself back. He hopes you don’t notice the way his hand finds its way to his own cock, he really, really hopes you don’t see him act so pathetic over this.

But you do. The moment your eyes roll back into place and get a look at him. One of his shoulders is moving, but the action is hidden by not only the chair, but his fucking face. He’s got his lips parted and he’s licking his lower lip. Slicking it up with his own saliva before–

“So quiet,” He hums with glistening lips, lending himself a light hold with his cock and pretending it’s you doing it for him. “You have nothing to say for yourself?” He adds now, inhaling once more the scent of your slick dripping for him as he leans in just a bit more.

“Oh–!” You yelp slightly at the feeling of his teeth digging into the flesh just to the side of your core. He bites down harder and harder, licking the flesh between his teeth before sucking hard against it. The sweat and scent of your full-day at work does nothing to calm his raging cock. He loves it and it only grows his appetite for you. Licking, sucking, nibbling at the skin until he’s sure he’ll leave a nice, painful swell to rub against your panties later. Only then does he release your skin from his still-tasting mouth.

The relief when he releases your thigh is short lived because he offers not even a full two seconds before you feel his mouth circle your clit. Like he can’t help himself, like he can’t tease you right now even if he wanted to.

A flick of his tongue sends a shiver down your spine straight to your toes and you can’t stop your legs from immediately wrapping around his head. You hear his muffled “mmf” when you do that, but he keeps you from apologizing for it because his free hand goes straight under your ass and scoots you even closer to his tongue.

And if you didn’t already think Sunghoon knew how to use that mouth for more than just being a professional business man, you do now. With the way that same tongue that used to taste the morning coffee you’d bring him now tastes you. Deeply.

He licks, flicks, and sucks every fold. Slurping up any dripping heat that slips out of you before pressing his tongue in and nuzzling his nose against your clit. He’s not quiet about it either. He moans with each lick, hums every time your legs squeeze around his neck, slurps and loudly sucks.

It’s pornographic, it’s sexy, it’s–

Suddenly, you feel a sharp jolt shoot through you, having not even noticed his hand moving from your ass to your front, moving straight up under your shirt. His fingers immediately find your nipple and pinches hard. So hard that your previous moan only becomes prolonged. Grows louder, breathier.

He pinches and massages your nipple with the intent to keep you loud for him. Office setting or not, he could give less of a shit about that right now. He ignores the strain on his wrist from your bra, he uses his other hand to grip himself harder, and you can’t help but squeeze him tighter between your thighs until you’re, quite literally, shaking.

Your hips are sliding against his face with each jolt of pleasure, practically riding him, and his cock is now entirely neglected because you can’t help but want more. You need more. And he gives it, by now releasing himself and keeping both hands on you. One holding the outside of your thigh, almost pushing you to squeeze tighter, the other incessantly abusing your nipple.

He chokes out a moan through his messy movements, never quite knowing where to put his hands solely because he wants to touch all of you. His cock is just fine being neglected, he thinks, as he realizes just how much pleasure he gets from feeling you wrap yourself around him like this.

It feels better than jerking himself off.

“Mr. P–” You sigh out, still not quite used to actually calling him his name, but the sound of it reminds you time and time again how wrong this situation is supposed to be.

You’re sitting on this soft chair, pussy being spread apart by a tongue none other than the man who signs your paychecks. And just this morning you were terrified of him ever even getting a glimpse of you without pants on? God, how stupid could you be? You should’ve been chasing this man’s touch since the day you looked at him for the first time.

“Fuck–” You moan out for him, brain spitting thoughts at you as each second passes. The danger of this, the fact that he genuinely got off to you before you knew it was him. The secrecy of his perverted thoughts and actions…it’s all so… “So, you’re so – hot.”

You feel him laugh, kissing the pulsing hole of your pussy when he pulls his tongue back to swallow. And for just a few moments, he turns his head, gripping your thigh with his teeth once again before speaking back to you, muffled by the hot skin.

“Yeah?” He laughs, now pulling his hand from your bra and lifting to your chin, pointing your gaze down at him, forcing you to see the way your thighs nearly suffocate him against your pussy. “Then keep your eyes on me.”

And you do, especially when he uses both of his hands now, nudging them between your legs and forcing them from his shoulders. He rests your legs on the arms of the chair instead and flicks his eyes up at you.

“You watching?” He makes this a point, blowing a small breath of air straight at your clit before receiving a dazed and slow nod from you. “Keep your legs open too.”

That’s the last thing he says before his mouth is full again, sucking your folds between his teeth before tucking his tongue right back into your hole. He tastes for just a few moments before you feel those same lips on your clit. He lets it throb in his open mouth as he listens carefully to your little sounds, especially now that he’s sliding his fingers into you.

You gasp, holding your breath at the feeling. His fingers slide in, reaching deep before he scissors them open. And all you feel from it is pleasure. You can’t help that your eyes roll back again, but you do try to keep your gaze fixed on his. With his eyes so rounded, blinking up at you with his strong jaw moving with each swallow of his own muffled moans.

He sucks your clit, fucks your cunt open, and relishes in the way he will soon get to splay you across his desk and really let you have it.

And he does this for a few minutes, though in your head it goes by so fast that you nearly get whiplash from the way he pulls back with a wet sound and grins at you.

“Aw, baby–” He coos at the face you make, seemingly disappointed to lose all stimulation at once, but he’s quick to lift to his feet and lean back over you.

Oh, his cock. It’s right there.

Oh.

His face–

“You’re so fucking wet right now.” He murmurs against the corner of your mouth with a raspy whisper, easily and without warning slipping two of his fingers right back into the heat that he just denied himself of licking more. “You hear that?” He continues with a sharp toothed bite to your lip. “How wet you are?”

You groan at the way he slams his fingers in, out, in, out, in…He keeps them there, pressed so far into you that you can physically feel the way your pussy tries to push him out again.

“Could slip it in right now–” He moans out at how tight you clench just his fingers. “Fuck, could be so deep in you.”

Your face feels hot as a bashful feeling overtakes you. His voice hits so much harder when you feel his breath along with it. His fingers, his cock right up against you. You want him to slip it in. To stuff his cock in you so fast, no room to adjust, not a second to even catch your breath.

God, you need it right now. It’s been too long since you’ve felt a real person touch you, you can’t help that you feel so desperate. The clench isn’t on purpose, your body tells him all he needs to know, all while he tells you all you could only wish to hear fall from someone’s lips.

And not just anyone. His lips.

You shoot your arms around his neck and it's not really intentional but– an actual kiss. You need it.

He seems pleased by it though, with the way his tongue immediately asks for more. One hand moves to brace your cheek, the other still fucking into you so good that you can’t keep a single moan down. He takes full control of the initiated kiss solely because you kissed him first. Almost hungrily, he licks into your mouth with his own muffled groan, encouraging you to keep being pretty like this. Just so you can see what he’ll do to you.

And, damn. He guides your body like a puppet, stiffening his shoulders when he licks into your mouth and threatening to pull away by raising himself up just a bit. He knew you’d chase the kiss, and you do. You lift with him, your ass lifting from the chair just to keep his tongue against yours, and he takes the elevated position and angles his hand just a bit. There, his fingers fuck into you harder, faster, so much fucking deeper until– you feel his fingers stop at a painfully deep spot inside of you.

He pulls back from the kiss, looking down between your bodies, and your eyes follow his gaze. Right there, he’s placed his knee up against his own wrist, forcing his fingers to remain deep and unmoving in you.

You take in a sharp inhale, seeing the way he lets your body fall back to the seat of the chair, only forcing him to skew his fingers and– “Oh, god!”

You moan out so suddenly that it even shocks him for a moment, but he takes your weakness and uses it to his advantage. Quickly, he licks into your moaning mouth, tickling his fingers upwards, pulling even more animalistic sounds from you.

“Yeah?” He whispers frantically, so turned on by the way your entire body stiffens. “Right there?” He continues, leaning his full body weight forward with his knee, wincing at the way he presses his cock against anything he can find in the process, just to get you off right here, right now.

You nod just as frantically, toes curling, arms shooting to the chair in a form that should appear as discomfort, but really you’re just bracing yourself through the tensing of your muscles before all of them relax and pulse at once.

Your ears pop, but you can still hear your desperate cries of his name somewhere distant. You can even hear him, humming and encouraging your orgasm. You wish you could hold your eyes open to see him, to grab him and force him to fuck his fingers hard into you. God, you could take it right now. You could take just about anything to heighten this feeling of stars bursting behind your eyelids.

Somehow though, it’s like he knows. Half-way through your orgasm, you feel the weight between your legs shift and his fingers start moving again. Still, your eyes are squeezed shut, and you can't help but to lunge forward and hug against his neck, clinging to him through the prolonged orgasm that his fingers alone have brought to you.

“Squeezing me so tight–” Sunghoon groans, unsure of if he’s referring to the way your needy cunt crowds his fingers, or the way you cling to him like a lost pet, begging for him to never leave your sight. “Fuck, you’re so pretty like this.”

You hear those words over any of his others. So clear in your head as you snap your head up and look at him. You see him lower his gaze, but your grip doesn’t quite allow him to actually look down at you. Not when he has to physically hold you up anyway. Still, he looks amused up there, knowing that single compliment must’ve hit somewhere inside of you.

You’re not sure why, through all this, Sunghoon calling you pretty makes it so much more intimate. And even as your legs continue to shake, and you release your death grip hug on him, he keeps himself crowded up to you. He’s somehow out of breath just like you are, relishing in the calm silence of your post orgasm as he…Jesus.

It’s not just your imagination. Somehow, it is intimate. It’s the way he pulls his fingers out and both hands shoot to your face. First, he kisses you as if you’re a long lost love. Deeply, slowly. Then, he’s putting one hand at the small of your back, nudging his knee right back between your legs, and pulling you right up against him.

“Who did you cum for?” Sunghoon asks, pulling back just to lick against your lips and stare directly down at you. “Say my name.”

You don’t hesitate, echoing out with a winced expression, still so out of breath while rubbing your clit to the expanse of his thigh.

“Su-Sunghoo-Sunghoon-”

“Yeah?” He encourages you, hearing his name heat his ears up. He moves his pussy-slicked fingers to your mouth while you cry his name, and easily presses your tongue down with them, sliding the digits further and further down your throat. “Sunghoon.” He says his own name. “Say it again.”

You gag around his fingers, unable to obey his demand.

“Sung–” He inspects the way your tongue struggles against the intrusion in your mouth. “Hoon.”

You swallow around them now, sputtering, tears now running down the outer apples of your cheeks. He watches you do it too, wondering how good that would feel if it were his cock you’re swallowing around. Knowing you’d probably do it for him if he wanted to right now.

But…he needs more than that. Despite how delicious you look while gagging, his cock has been neglected and he needs to fuck out the stress from the past however long you’ve been avoiding him. It’s like his brain breaks with the action as he watches you take his fingers in whatever way he offers. You let him do whatever he wants. You’re obeying.

“Up.” He suddenly says, pulling all physical contact with you away as he turns, steps out of the pants restricting his ankles, and swipes every pen, file, and picture frame off his desk. “Come here, baby.”

You feel like you’re melted to this chair right now, in all honesty. You’re still trying to catch your breath just from touching his cock before he decided to make you see fucking stars, to think you can stand right now is insane.

So, when you don’t immediately hop up and throw yourself onto his desk, he turns to look at you.

You’re splayed out, legs still spread, toes still curled. Your chest is heaving to breathe, eyes wild and lips so fucking kissable.

“Oh, fuck.” He sighs to himself in realization, relishing in the image of you he’s only recently been craving. “Look at you.”

You lift your arm to hide your face, feeling apologetic for the way you’ve lost the ability to exist as an active participant right now. Even more apologetic when you glance down at how fucking hard his cock is. Raging hard, so pretty with the tip sputtering precum for god knows how long.

He watches you stare, and lends you a few moments to catch your breath by gripping it himself. Leaning himself against his desk and twisting his wrist with a tight grip at the base.

“Is this how you looked at me when I did this before?” He asks, flicking his wrist still with each drag. “So out of it, you look like such a mess, babe.”

You find yourself humming a confirmation to him as you watch, almost reverting back to who you were during that first session. Unseen, only heard, all while you got to see him pleasure himself to almost nothing. You gave him nothing.

You’ve still only given him nothing.

And so, very slowly, you force yourself to stand on shaking legs to take those two strides to his desk. Something inside of you tingles when he drops his cock and opens his arms for you, like a good boss would do in this situation. Supporting your unbalanced weight, letting you walk into his comforting grasp.

“Said my name so pretty, you know.” He comments gently when he holds you close to him. Hands reaching down from the grip around your waist just to grab both of your fleshy ass checks and squeeze them. “You want more, yes?”

He’s quick to the point, only allowing the short and sweet moments to last just enough for them to stick in your head. Just enough to have questions about his actions. Just enough to give him anything, everything, he could want if it involves your body.

You nod almost shyly, dipping your head down and leaning against his chest.

“Let's get this off of you then.” He smiles with a gentle voice, reaching to the hem of your shirt and pulling it straight up, watching how you lift your arms to help him. “Mhm–” He hums again, loving how the bra drags off of you along with the shirt. He lets both of his hands brush your nipples before he goes back to gripping your ass cheeks and spreading them.

Spreading them so wide that, once again, you have to lift on your toes just to let him play with your body. Which, oh man. Always wearing his button down shirts, his blazers, his long-sleeve shirts. You can’t help it when you tug at the opened fabric of his shirt, asking silently that he shake it off. Wanting to see his arms, wanting to see the strength in them.

And he does it without hesitation, letting his hands fall from you just for a moment to shake his shirt off, only now hugging against you again and forcing a position change. He turns both of you so now you’re up against his desk, and he’s standing in front of you.

It’s easy for him to push you back in a kiss. Your legs open for him on instinct anyway, so he need not worry about prying those legs open again. You do just as expected when he pushes you too. Your ass hits the desk and you lift on your toes to sit on it. Your legs spread wider, making room for him to step even closer, cock right up against you when he closes any amount of distance, and still? He’s kissing you.

All across your face, down your neck, back to your lips. And his hands just keep feeling. Massaging your tits, lending small taps to your ass, holding your chin, jaw, neck, and then…he runs them through your hair.

The feeling is so good you almost forget how you’ve been trying to steal a glimpse of his flexing arms as he grabs at you. Goosebumps prickle and you let out a groan at the pleasure of it. He keeps one hand there now, smiling against his kiss to your ear.

“You like being pampered?” He asks, now gripping a fist full of your hair and skewing your neck to the side. “Like being moved around like a puppet?”

Never once have you thought about your sex life that way, but when you think about it…maybe. After all, you did enjoy being told when and how to touch yourself, being allowed or forbidden from cumming. Now, with him quite literally moving you around with just a simple grip of your hair? Yeah.

“By you–” You mutter out as you open your eyes, staring at the ceiling and feeling his tongue lap against your earlobe.

“Just me?” He leans back, using that same grip in your hair to force you to look at him. “You’d give me that power?”

You nod against the grasp, lips falling open in a moan despite not being pleasured by anything aside from the stinging against your scalp as he pulls little hairs a bit too tightly.

“You know–” Sunghoon starts now, pressing his hips forward, dropping his other hand to his cock and slapping it right against your weeping cunt. “If I had known you were this dirty...”He sighs out at the image in his head, thinking back to all those times he silently complimented you in his head. Back then, never would he have made comments about your legs out loud, or how your tits would look in certain shirts. Thinking back now, he’s always found you quite beautiful.

Quite fuckable, even.

You listen to the silence waiting for him to continue, feeling the way he presses the hardened head of his length against your clit repeatedly.

“I would have propped you up on this desk months ago,” He smiles now, leaning in real close to your ear as his grip in your hair loosens just a bit. “Could’ve had you moaning my name this whole time.”

Then, you feel it. The way he adjusts his weeping cock lower, prodding at your hole just a bit until his tip is entirely enveloped by your clenching walls.

You swallow a moan and hold your breath, legs shooting around his waist and instinctively trying to force his hips to move forward, trying to force him to penetrate you deeper.

“Shh,” He coos out, holding his hips firm and not letting you control his movements. Then, he kisses just under your ear before peppering them all the way back to your lips. He doesn’t kiss you though, no, he chuckles at you for trying. Watching you let your tongue fall from your mouth, inspecting the way you’re entirely in tune for him right now. “You really want it, don’t you?” He whispers just above your lips. “Want me to fuck you right here, right now?”

You nod absentmindedly, legs still trying to force him to move, arms clinging under his biceps, head still forced into whatever position he keeps it in by the hair.

“Please–Sunghoon.” You cry in a small voice, feeling as if you’re going insane by the feeling of his tip sitting comfortably in you.

“You’re so cute.” He smiles, lending you another inch of his length before letting his hand fall from your hair. There, he grips your waist instead, letting a strained grunt fall from his own lips this time. He’s really trying to remain collected about this, and he’s unsure himself why he’s enjoying the act of teasing you like this. He feels like he’s teasing himself more than you right now, seeing as how it’s taking everything in him not to stuff his cock into you hard and fast. “So–so, fucking cute.”

You clench around the few inches in you and it appears that’s all he needed to break entirely. Is he controlling you, or are you controlling him?

Honestly, who gives a fuck?

You feel his arms shake when he plants them at either side of you, pointing his cock straight into you and sliding in fully. There’s a groan from him that you want to hear so badly, but your own heart beat is thumping in your ears so loudly that you miss half of it.

The stretch is delicious, and the fact that it’s Sunghoon doing this to you makes this all the more enjoyable. The man who you’ve seen day after day, now holding himself up on the desk you’ve signed papers on with and for him? All so he can angle his hips and shove his cock in? Just to let his arms frantically wrap around your waist? Just so he can scoot you forward on this desk, using your leaking slick to slide you back and forth in time with his hips?

That groan you wanted to hear? He hasn’t stopped. He’s essentially, controlling the entire situation and when you half open your eyes to witness his face, you’re forced to roll your eyes back in a moan matching his.

He’s fucking you so deeply right now that all you can do is moan, all you can do is forget the embarrassment, the victimization, the way he’s doing this to you despite the risk of reality crumbling. He could lose his job, you could lose yours, and yet still– he’s fucking you like he doesn’t care.

So, you choose not to care either in the form of grabbing his hair, forcing his head back, and attaching your lips right against his adams apple. You feel him swallow and breathe out a shocked sound, and then? You suck.

Intentionally, you suck, bite, and lick, harder and harder until there’s a deep purple mark there. He doesn’t even fight it, though you feel him try to move his head just to keep you from going too insane with it. You don’t care though, because still you feel his cock splitting you open, forcing you to adjust to him.

“Ah,” Sunghoon lets out another breath with that familiar chuckle, “Marking me now?”

You hum a confirmation as you move to a new spot on his neck, absolutely fucking marking him. Feeling devastated by the idea that he’d do this with any other employee. Or any other person in general.

“Making me all yours, huh?” He continues with his cocky words, feeling the way your pussy clenches him tightly, dripping all over his desk. He’d let you make him yours, with or without the bruising from your mouth.

“Mhm.” You hum pleasantly, letting out little yelps each time he slams into you. Letting out full moans each time his arms wrap around your waist tighter.

You continue with the act, littering his pretty neck with your touch and loving how he just lets you. Knowing that he’ll show up at work tomorrow looking a bit tired, but glowing nonetheless, trying to hide all these marks with that tight-necked collar he likes to wear.

“Whatever you want.” He breathes, letting his hips lose rhythm for just a moment as he feels his muscles tighten. “Fuck, you’re still so tight.”

You feel like you’re on top of the world as he compliments you, to the point you’re not sure when you’ll cum because your whole body has seemingly been feeling euphoria anyway. Everything feels good, even if his cock reaches deep enough to cause little jolts of pain. The sound of the desk scooting back through the force of his hips is enough to make you take it. Enough to squeeze your legs around him tighter, enough to clench, enough to– forget what you’re doing and let yourself fall into it with him.

Your head falls back from his neck and you pant out little half-calls of his name with each thrust. Your legs loosen from around him too, but his grip on your waist only pushes you back on his desk. Until he’s leaning forward so hard with each thrust that suddenly your back meets the cold wood.

Sandwiched between him and his desk, he follows the action, his hands quickly moving from your waist to your tits, pushing them together just so he can nuzzle his face between them.

There, you look at him. You really look at him.

What a messy, messy, man. Always so pristine during working hours, now looking so wrecked and out of it as he chases a pleasure that you hope only you can give to him.

“Mr. Park–” You sigh out in a pleasant voice, watching the way he sucks your tit into his mouth before his eyes open wide just so he can look up at you through each thrust. “Harder.”

You can physically see the way his eyes darken when he pops off from your tit, hands now going back to the desk as he hovers over you and intentionally rolls his hips.

You feel his cock loosen you up painfully before he intentionally fucks into you. Dragging all the way out, just to push forward in a deep and painful thrust. Over and over again, all while he’s staring straight into your eyes.

As you look up at him, you see the intent in his face. The way he wants to give you exactly what you want. Sweat shining from his cheeks, his neck littered with pretty colors. Oh, he’s actually heavenly when he fucks.

Better than what you thought that guy on camera would have been. He’s not nonchalant like he was when he was performing. He’s entirely in tune with you and what you want. Like what you want is what he wants.

You can tell he’s paying no mind to his own face or expression, blatantly putting all of his thoughts into how he’s pleasuring you, his eyes searching your face to tell him he’s doing well. To tell him you feel good, to tell him you’re close or–

“Fuck–” He sighs out, teeth tracing his bottom lip as he glances up, keeping pace with the way he’s been plunging into you. “I can’t keep looking at you,”

You smile, feeling dazed and far away. It feels like it’s just you and him. You’re not in his office, on a desk, or doing anything you shouldn’t be doing.

“You hear me?” He drops his body weight on you again, letting his hips move freely as he chases and chases. “I’m so close.”

Oh.

“Then look at me.” You huff out, now shooting a hand between his flexed abs and simply…touching your clit once.

“Oh–shit.”

It hits you so fast. Just a simple touch causes your pussy to clench Sunghoon so tightly that he mimics your sound.

“Ah, fuck- fuck,” His voice sounds frantic as he tries to pull out, only to feel your legs shoot back around him. This time, he lets you force him to stay. He lets those legs of yours push him back in, so deep that he knows he can’t fight. “No, no–” He chokes out, uncaring if his hips show you that he’s lying with his words. “I’m cumming– I need to–”

“Stay!” You shake beneath him but your voice sounds pleading, pressing once more to your clit before letting it go. You clench him again, essentially letting your body finish him off. Letting those clenches squeeze him so tightly, making sure he couldn’t fathom ever wasting his cum. “Don’t pull out.”

He doesn’t. In fact, he presses impossibly deeper, trying to bury his cock into you to the point it even pains him. Arms shaking as he tries to hold himself up again, only to drop his lips to yours under his own weight. His hips are so tense between your legs, his cock is so stiff that you can feel each pumped release, and still you’re experiencing your own euphoria through it.

To the point your toes are curling and you barely notice the way you leave welts across his back from your fingernails through the intense orgasm. To the point his slack lips against yours feel more natural than anything else. Not kissing, just close. So close that–

He kisses you.

After it’s all said and done, he still kisses you breathlessly. Passionately almost, clinging to you as his cock twitches as it grows flaccid inside of you.

He doesn’t pull out, he just…kisses.

And as you lay against his wooden desk, body coming down from the pleasure you’ve felt more than once within the past hour, all you can do is let your brain think on its own. Without shame, without embarrassment or anxiety.

You thought Sunghoon would have been in control the whole time. Teasing you, maybe even making this experience more painful than it needs to be. But no, he…

He’s soft. Gentle, almost.

Only now do you recognize that as badly as he probably wants to appear harsh, like the confident man he is on camera, you think he needs something else. Not just power, not just money or control. Not even just fucking.

You think…maybe, Sunghoon needs connection.

Intimacy.

And that’s proven when he does finally stand on his own buckled knees, pulling you up with him into a hug where he still kisses you. Up until he takes that shirt you unbuttoned and holds it between your legs, scratching the back of his neck with a shy glance at you.

“Sorry for the mess.” He echoes in a meek voice, holding that shirt firm against you. “Guess I just couldn’t help myself.”

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Days later, you find yourself in his bed. Which should have been expected probably. Still doesn’t change the fact that every few hours, you remind yourself the reality of the situation.

It’s not just any bed you’re in. It’s Sunghoon’s bed.

“Oh, right. The promotion.” Sunghoon suddenly calls out mid-episode.

You’ve been here with him all day. To the point neither of you bother to put on clothes now because you know the spark will come back at any given time and you’ll be all over each other again. Still, lazing in his bed with him on a Saturday afternoon is nice.

“I’ve been a bit occupied but– the interviews for the assistant position has been pushed back a bit due to you not coming to work. I was supposed to notify you when you got back, but you know, we had priorities–”

Sunghoon sighs, embarrassed. It’s nice actually, seeing him in his natural element. Allowing you to see him as more than just the guy that wears a suit and tie every day at work.

“Unrelated to us…doing this, but, you’re up for the interview. Just need to schedule it with me. If you still want to be my assistant, I mean.”

“Oh, I can only imagine what that could entail.”

Sunghoon seems offended by this remark as he pulls back with furrowed brows.

“Excuse me?”

“Did you fuck the last one too?” You give him a playful smile, prodding at his soft-skinned chest.

“Absolutely not?!”

“You’re still gonna fuck me too though, right? Even if I’m constantly having to nag you for signatures and meetings?”

Sunghoon stares at you before smiling.

“Well, let's see if you get the job anyway. Rhonda from Marketing is applying too.”

You lend a half-joke gag at him.

“Is it too forward to ask for special attention for the position along with a sexual favor?” You tread the thin line. “I’m half joking but wouldn’t it be like…normal for us to be seen around each other at work if I’m working a job that requires it?”

Sunghoon thinks hard.

“You’re really asking to fuck your way up the ladder?”

“Aren’t you the one who offered it so I wouldn’t tell your dirty little secret?” You narrow your eyes at him. “But no, I’m asking for the job I’ve been trying to earn for ages. Besides, I’d still fuck you anyway.”

“Fair.” Sunghoon thinks harder still. “Rhonda would probably find out too, if she were to get the position anyway, considering my assistants are often intertwined in my personal business as well.”

“Oh, I’m personal business now?”

“Babe, my hand has been on your tit for an hour now.”

Well, he’s not wrong.

“Rhonda is really close with HR too…” You trail off, feeling a bit anxious. “I think she’d hold it over both of us if she found out.”

“In all fairness, you’ve been considered for the job more than a few times the past few months. Rhonda only applied during your two week avoidance of me. The reason she’s even up for the position is because my boss thinks you’re too flaky.”

Oh, so you have a chance with or without putting his dick in your mouth again?

“Who else has applied?”

“Confidential.” Sunghoon shrugs. “I still have to follow company rules even if we’re breaking a few of them right now. What I can tell you is, over fifteen other candidates have already been phased out by me personally.”

You pause.

“Why?”

“Bad matches, mostly. Two of them have been caught talking shit about me through the company emails, and the others? Many outside applicants, all freshman college students with strict schedules.”

“Being my assistant is not an easy job, and even before all of this, you’ve practically been doing the job already, better than the current assistant I have.”

You damn fucking right you have.

“How many are still in the running?”

“Two.”

Oh, this job is soooooo yours.

“Just, one more thing.” Sunghoon sighs. “If you get this job, we cannot be fucking in my office. No sexual stuff at work. We can take lunch together, or I’ll bring you home after work, but absolutely nothing at work.”

Oh, he thinks you want him that badly?

“Who says I need to fuck you during work hours anyway? I know how to control myself.”

“It’s not you who I’m worried about.” Sunghoon looks away, biting the inside of his cheek.

“Yeah?” You smile. “You gonna be calling me into your office just to torture yourself?”

“Oh, absolutely.”

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

pls remember to leave feedback and reblog! :D love you!

#enhypen smut #park sunghoon smut #sunghoon smut #enha smut

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maysileeewrites · 26 days ago

Text

🫧 what is this feeling? 🫧

Fiyero Tigelaar x gn!reader

Synopsis: „Stop calling me that!“ „What - darling?“ || Or: Fiyero suddenly finds himself spending an unusual amount of time in the Shiz library

c.w: enemies to lovers (sort of), tension & bantering, gratuitous use of darling & super cheesy ending; (also most of my Wicked knowledge [you’ll notice that I made up a back story of my own for Fiyero] comes from seeing the movie three days ago, I did see the play in the West End 2 years ago, but I’m not in as deep as I’m with other musicals like Phantom)

w.c.: 2.5k | masterlist

Sighing frustratedly, you slammed your textbook shut in annoyance.

Something you usually didn’t do - the slamming the book shut part, that was.

But then, you also didn’t usually feel this level of frustration after an afternoon spent at the library; at least not over things that weren’t related to your studying.

Reaching for your book bag, you got up from the table right next to the window facing Shiz’s garden you’d managed to secure earlier this afternoon.

But what good was a good table, if the atmosphere in the library was so distracting that you couldn’t concentrate on anything?

Grabbing your books, you glared at the object of your ire.

Prince Fiyero Tigelaar.

Most of the other students here at Shiz, especially Galinda, seemed positively obsessed with him, but you happened to share your friend Elphaba‘s opinion about the young prince.

In your opinion, he was nothing more than a shallow, self-absorbed troublemaker that apparently didn’t concern himself too hard with other people’s wants and needs. Really, couldn’t he have done his strutting around anywhere else instead of the library?

„What did that poor book do to you?“

You flinched, losing your hold on the books in your hand. You’d been so lost in your thoughts, you hadn’t even noticed Fiyero approaching you.

The books slipped from your grip, and fell to the floor with a loud, clattering sound. You winced, bending down to pick the books back up, but Fiyero had already beaten you to it.

He’d already gathered three of the four tomes in his hands and, feeling weirdly annoyed at this sudden, new … helpful site to him, you reached for the last book - at the same time as Fiyero did.

Your hands touched.

You felt the rough callouses of his fingertips and wondered what he, as a prince could have possibly done in his life that was the reason for this - before trying to remind yourself that you didn’t care.

Hastily, almost as if you’d been burned, you drew your hand back and got back up.

„Well, there you go, darling“, Fiyero said, flashing you a surprisingly genuine smile, as he handed you the four books.

Again, you felt a weird tingling in your fingertips as your hands briefly touched, and, almost defensively, you clutched the books to your chest.

„I - thank you …“

He laughed, the sound surprisingly warm and deep. This wasn’t his typical, obnoxiously loud laugh you’d come to despise during the last few weeks.

„It’s nothing … still curious what that poor book did to you, though …“

„What?“, you asked, frowning.

He grinned. „That poor-„, suddenly, he leaned in closer towards you - and was it just the used-up library air you’d been breathing in all day that suddenly made you feel slightly dizzy? - eyes fixing on the covers of your textbooks, „history book. Really darling, I wouldn‘t have expected you to treat a book like that.“

„You’re one to talk“, you muttered, without thinking.

„Well, I guess you’re right there, darling.“

„Stop calling me that!“, you exclaimed, feeling your cheeks flush.

He smirked. „What - darling?“

You rolled your eyes. „Yes! Now, if you’ll excuse me-„

„You’re off to study some more?“, he asked, genuine wonder in his voice.

Your eyes met, and you immediately looked away from him again. You didn’t like the way his gaze made you feel. There was genuine curiosity in his eyes and his gaze was far too intense for your liking.

„Yes, because unlike some, I actually care about my education and my future!“, you exclaimed, before turning away from him.

Fiyero just chuckled. „Trust me darling, you’re missing out on a lot of fun.“

You only rolled your eyes at his statement and walked out of the library without looking back at him.

If you had, you’d have seen him trying to fight off a smile.

The next day, your luck was even worse.

Things started out alright - after classes, you and Elphaba went to the library, managing to secure a table near the garden windows again. Elphaba, however couldn’t stay long, as she had her magic lessons with Madame Morrible in the late afternoon.

After she left, you managed to catch up on some of your assignments for a while.

Then, someone sat down right next to you.

You didn’t need to look up to know who it was.

„Go away, Fiyero“, you said, not looking up from your textbook.

Fiyero just laughed. „You’ve really been quite grumpy lately, darling.“

„Stop calling-„, you began to say, but stopped. Knowing Fiyero, you commenting on this particularly annoying habit of his would only serve to egg him on.

„Never mind“, you therefore muttered, turning a page.

„What are you doing here, though?“ Somehow, the question just slipped out, even though you kept trying to tell yourself that you didn’t care.

„Studying, of course“, Fiyero replied, his smirk widening even more when you turned to look at him, raising your eyebrows.

„Really?“, you asked, frowning.

He just smirked. „Really. I mean, there’s quite a lot to catch up on, isn’t there?“

„I can imagine“, you replied, frowning.

To your great annoyance, Fiyero just smirked again, before taking a textbook out of his bag, opening it and grabbing a notebook and a pen.

Your eyes widened. Was he actually here to study?

To your utter surprise, it did seem that way, because during the next few hours, Fiyero was completely engrossed in his textbooks, only looking up from them occasionally to jot something down in his notebook. Even his handwriting surprised you - it wasn’t at all the unintelligible scrawl you’d imagined it to be, but a rather concise, if somewhat over exaggeratedly loopy handwriting. But then again, he was a Prince - elegant handwriting must have been taught to him from a young age, among other etiquettes and niceties, not to mention historical and sociological knowledge.

Really, it was such a shame that he didn’t seem to care at all about a good education. He’d probably already had all the best opportunities one could only imagine, and now he was here at Shiz, studying at one of the most renowned universities in all of Oz. Not that he seemed to particularly care about that, though.

It did make you wonder, though. Was he really just the rogue prince who rejected every expectation society imposed upon him, was he really as shallow and self-absorbed as you’d perceived him to be these last few weeks?

Suddenly, you weren’t so sure anymore.

You chanced another look over at him, and caught him staring at you. Despite yourself, you felt your cheeks flush, when he grinned at you.

„If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that I’m distracting you, darling“, he said, grin widening.

You had the sudden urge to grin back at him, but quickly suppressed it by biting down hard on your lip. And was it just your imagination or did his eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips and back to your eyes again?

„Every time I think your ego couldn’t possibly get any bigger, you surprise me again“, you muttered.

He just chuckled. „Well, that’s me, darling - full of surprises.“

Right - that.

„Why - why don’t you care about any of this?“, you asked him, the words slipping out before you’d thought them through.

When he raised his eyebrows at you in confusion, you quickly hurried on. „You’re here, studying at Shiz University of all places, and yet it seems that classes and studying are just this huge burden for you. You’ve been handed this great opportunity on a silver platter - and yet you’re not making any use out of it!“

Fiyero’s smile froze and for a second, his eyes seemed to darken as well. „There’s more to life than just studying and books, you know?“

„Like what?“, you challenged him.

„Like actually living life, instead of just going through the motions“, he replied quickly.

You frowned irritatedly. Was that what he thought of you? That you were just going through the motions, like you were some kind of robot, devoid of actually having any feelings.

You felt your cheeks heat up again, though this time it was out of anger. Standing up, you started stuffing your textbooks into your book bag, glaring at him.

„Well, excuse me - I have to go, going through the motions, because some of us aren’t privileged enough to get everything in life handed to them on a silver platter.“

With that, you walked out of the library rather dramatically, not bothering to look back at him, still seething with frustration.

How was it that he seemingly always managed to get under your skin so easily?

And why did you care?

Why did you care about anything having to do with that stupid, arrogant prince who was too full of himself to form any complex, intelligent thought.

You didn’t.

You did not care about Fiyero Tigelaar.

Not at all.

But no matter how many times you tried to tell yourself, deep down, you knew that it wasn’t true. You hated to admit it, but just thinking about that moment yesterday when your hands had touched, made your heart beat faster. As did thinking about all the not so subtle glances he’d sent your way this afternoon.

You sighed, running a hand through your hair in frustration.

Sweet Oz, what was this feeling?

You didn’t see much of Fiyero during the next few days, at least not in the library. You did see him during classes and at meals, but you did your best to keep out of his way. You were ashamed of your outburst at him in the library a few days ago, and if it were anyone else, you’d have already apologized to them.

As it was, you did feel sorry for your comment, but the feeling was lessened whenever you thought about how he’d insinuated that you were just going through the motions.

Somehow, that had frustrated you much more than his stupid insistence on him calling you darling - not that he’d done that since that day in the library. In fact, you’d hardly spoken to each other at all, other than a few off-handed comments, made in passing.

You could tell that your friend Elphaba was already becoming somewhat frustrated with the situation, because you’d forced her to change directions, walking through empty hallways and taking a detour on the way to class just to avoid having to walk past Fiyero more than once.

You were starting to feel rather frustrated yourself, but still - you weren’t about to be the one to take the first step.

And anyway, it wasn’t like you cared much about Fiyero and whether your comment had hurt him.

Or so you kept trying to tell yourself.

Frustrated, you turned a page in your textbook, trying to concentrate on your studies. Today, you weren’t in the library, but rather in Shiz’s magnificent garden. You were sat on a bench under a willow tree, a field of red tulips right next to you.

But no matter how serenely beautiful the atmosphere around you, you were unable to concentrate on your textbook.

„I thought I might find you here.“

Your heart started beating faster and you didn’t have to look up to know who the voice belonged to.

„Fiyero …“, you said, closing your book shut and getting up rather awkwardly from your bench.

Fiyero’s eyes found yours and he smiled nervously.

Wait - nervously? Fiyero wasn’t one to be nervous - at least you’d never perceived him to be so.

„I - I wanted to apologize … I didn’t - what I said, in the library - I never wanted to imply that you were just going through the motions, I-“

„I wanted to apologize as well“, you interrupted his nervous rambling, fighting off the smile you felt tugging at the corner of your lips when his eyes widened and his gaze seemed to soften. „I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that, I … I had to study - like, really hard, to get a scholarship for Shiz, my family isn’t - I …“, you trailed off, biting down hard on your lip.

You didn’t know why you were telling him all this. Maybe it had something to do with the soft, concerned gaze in his eyes, or maybe it was just his sudden closeness making you feel rather dizzy.

„I get it“, he said quickly, running a hand through his hair. „Honestly, if I were you, I’d hate me as well.“

„I don’t hate you“, you pointed out.

„See, darling? Always a good start“, he said, grinning.

„Don’t test it“, you said, rolling your eyes, but you weren’t quite able to fight off your own grin anymore.

„The thing is, my family -my parents, they expect so much from me“, he said, turning serious once more. „And I know what you’re thinking, poor prince, his parents put so much pressure on him, yet he’s still living a privileged life, boo hoo“, he continued, shaking his head, his eyes fixed on some point in the distance. „And you’d be right, at least to a certain degree … my parents, they - sometimes I feel that no matter what I do, I’ll always manage to disappoint them somehow. To them, I’ll probably always be a failure.“

„You’re not a failure!“, you interrupted him, shaking your head. „You’re not!“

„Oh really?“, he asked, and his grin was back in place, though it did look rather shaky and uncertain. „I thought that a good education was the key for everything?“

Despite the seriousness of what he’d just said, you rolled your eyes. Trying to soften the mood, you said: „Well, someone once told me that there’s more to life than just books and studying.“

He smirked. „Sounds like a wise someone.“

You just rolled your eyes.

A moment passed, during which neither one of you said anything, yet the silence didn’t make you feel uncomfortable.

Then, you found yourself asking: „What were you doing in the library, though?“

Fiyero laughed, though somehow, he seemed nervous once more. Maybe it was the way he ran his hands through his hair distractedly, or maybe it was the way his eyes kept flickering between you and the willow tree behind you.

„Well, for one I am trying this thing called studying …“

You laughed, though you could sense that there was more he wanted to say.

„But … there was also - there was someone I was trying to build up the nerve to talk to …“

Suddenly, your heart started to beat faster and you felt that weird tingling sensation in your fingertips once more.

Fiyero was standing so close to you now, your noses were almost touching and you could feel his warm breath on your skin.

„Who - who were you trying to talk to?“

He laughed. „I’d hate to disappoint you, but I think there’s some questions textbooks simply don’t provide answers for, darling …“

Before you could come up with a reply, he’d leaned in even closer towards you, and then his lips were on yours. His lips were soft and full, and the kiss surprisingly gentle.

Without having to think about it, you found yourself reciprocating the kiss, moving your lips against his.

Whatever this feeling you felt when you were with Fiyero was, it felt good. Exceptionally good.

And so, abandoning every other thought, you wound one hand around his neck, tangling the other in his hair.

And when you felt him smiling into the kiss, you felt your heart soar.

#fiyero tigelaar x reader #fiyero x y/n #fiyero x reader #fiyero tigelaar #fiyero imagine #fiyero x you #prince fiyero #wicked x reader #wicked fiyero #wicked movie #wicked #jonathan bailey

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imdoingsortagay · 3 months ago

Text

And They Were Roommates

Summary: Rio get's a roommate in you and suddenly she can't function.

Warnings: Smut so 18+ , Rio doing suspicious shit, Top!Rio Vidal, Bottom!reader, pet names with this women, biting, some fluff, aftercare ( because it's important),

Word count: 3.4k

a/n: i was gonna spend a good week on this fic fuck it you get it now because my professors are already on midterm talk. also thank @yourlocalsaiko for the funny ask comment they left on the sneak peek of this for influencing me to finish this. And also happy birthday to @harknessdoll. If this does good maybe a part 2 or little series ????? who knows

Happy reading

Renting a small cottage in the middle of the woods, well not middle maybe like 10 miles away from town seemed like a good idea at the time. No having to deal with noisy neighbors, having a cute little driveway to not share with anyone and not to mention not being woken up to traffic.

It sounded like the perfect thing until you heard a loud bang that woke you from your slumber, who in the fuck was in your cottage.

“ Fucking hell,” you mumble to yourself. Good thing Kate had recommended buying that bat incase anyone came in, bedtime you do need to actually buy a weapon of some sort or at least invest in some security. The noise gets louder as you make your way to the kitchen, hear what seems to be a lady humming a tune while she’s looking for something to eat in the fridge.

“ You leave for a couple of years to explore and someone can think they can just move in ? In my cottage? In my home?” She mumbles to herself.

“ IM RENTING THIS PLACE YOU ASS” you yell as you try to hit her but her reflexes are faster than you. The lady quickly grabs the bat from you, throwing it somewhere in the kitchen but what she doesn’t expect you to do is bite her back.

“ OWWWWWWWWWWW”

Your smile fades quickly when the intruder quickly pins you to the kitchen floor preventing you from moving or biting her again.

“ Who the fuck are you and why are you even in my house” She asks you

“ Someone posted this place on a realtor site to rent and he’s been renting it to me for the past 6 months,” you explain,” can you let me go now, I promise not to bite you again I swear”.

“ Just cause I might have abandoned this place 40 years ago doesn’t mean some stupid man can come and rent it to some random person,” she tells you.

“ Does this mean I need to find another place to live?” You say after a bit of silence which makes the woman giggle. She felt bad that you didn’t know this was her home but it had been years since she had shared her place with anyone besides her ex partner.

“ If you give me whoever rented this place from you I might let you stay,” she pauses a bit ,” whatever your name is “.

“ Y/n and no totally will do that, he kind of gave me the ick when he was showing me places too. Like he recommended me this house in New Jersey but the vibe was off so I said no then he was flirting with me way too-“ the mystery woman covers your mouth to prevent you from yapping anymore.

“ Gonna visit this man right away in the morning y/n, he sounds terrible,” and she leaves you to head to the other bedroom,”

“ Wait what’s your name ?”

“ Rio,” she pauses dramatically ,” Rio Vidal, have a goodnight babe”.

________________________

After the weird encounter with Rio, she had left around 9am to go talk with Anthony the realtor, not telling you anything else besides a bye. Left you with the cottage for most of the day to finish some emails for work, clean up the mess from late in the night and even make a chicken soup for Rio, or at least for you if she didn’t eat meat. Just as a thank you for not kicking her.

“ Get Norm the email about next month’s projection sales,” you read around to nobody inside, wondering when she’d come back.

She’s a grown ass woman who looks like she can easily defend herself. There’s no need to worry where she might be going. Rio has known you for less than half a day I doubt she’s gonna tell you her whereabouts.

“ God that man is such a crybaby,” Rio announces as you hear the door open, pushing the relief away when she comes towards the kitchen to the smell of chicken soup. It smelled really good, she forgot how it was to not be the only person in this home or at least have someone even cooking at all.

Rio sees you in the kitchen, trying your very best to act chill around.

“ Here’s this back, I took care of Bob for you, “ she casually tells you as she goes towards the stove to serve herself some soup.

“ What do you mean ‘ take care of bob ‘ Rio? “

“ Don’t worry about it babe” and when you look in the bad you find a large amount of money.

“ All your rent money from the past couple of months from that fucking idiot” rio explains , you were gonna ask either way.

“ so does this mean you’re kicking me out ? I can pay rent don’t worry or if not I can try to find another place to move to since this is your house and all”.

Rio thinks about it. On one hand , she’s had this house for hundreds of years so there’s no need for you to pay rent. But on the other hand, you really didn’t know that this was her house so it would be rude to expect you to leave so soon.

You were a little cute after all so this could work in her way if she wanted.

“ I’ll let you stay on one condition,” you nod, too afraid to say anything due to her very serious demeanor.

“ Keep doing what you’ve been doing around the place, don’t disturb me when I’m in my room and when I need a favor you do it,” she states. Should be simple enough for you to follow.

“ You got it pretty ?”

“ Yes “

“ Yes what ? “

“ Yes Ma’am?” You say more as a question than a statement.

“ Good job honey” she coos, paying close attention to the way that you blushed a bit being called the pet name.

————

“ What the fuck are you even doing up at 7am?”

“ Good morning to you too princess,” she says as you walk into the kitchen, your slumber being interrupted by whatever she was doing inside. 8am was enough time for you to get ready for work, especially since you do remote work for the most part.

It’s only been a day since Rio had let you stay and to stay the change was a bit weird for you was an understatement.

Both of you have mostly been lightly joking with each other half of the time, maybe a bit of flirting to be honest but she’s pretty cute. Doesn’t help that she’s always calling you all these pet names.

“ Breakfast is on the table babe,” you see a perfectly set plate on the table for you,” based on what you had stocked up in the fridge”.

“ Thank you Rio,”.

“ No problem hot stuff” she says in the sweetest tone, leaving you alone in the kitchen to question what she might have planned.

———————

One week living with Rio and so far, she’s been wonderful as a roommate. Helps with dishes when you make dinner, keeps the living room spotless, a little loud at night but nothing you can’t handle.

For a Saturday night, Rio was unsure why you decided to spend it at home and not out like most humans would do.

“ Reading a book and enjoying some wine ? Boring “, Rio announces as she walks into the living room in her casual fit. Choosing to wear an oversized t shirt of hers and simple pair of shorts.

“ It’s too far for me to go out rio,” you tell the woman sitting next to you, not bothering to tell her to move. It felt kind of nice to have the other woman sit next to you and not just a pillow of yours like most of the time.

“ Awe someone as pretty as you doesn’t ever go out?” She coos.

“ Not when it’s again, way too far to travel to a bar,” you repeat to her and before you can even get a sip of your wine she grabs it out of your hand.

“ What the fuck ?” You yell back at her and before you can grab it back the woman in front of you chugs it.

“ We need something stronger babe,” she tells you as she finishes the last of the drink with no shame,” follow me “.

You don’t say anything when she grabs your hand, leading you to the one room in the cottage that she forbid you to going into, her room.

Even before she had shown up back to her place, Bob had told you the room could not be unlocked and the windows were covered to anyone passing by and you felt weird about trying to unlock it yourself. When Rio had shown backup you never even got a peek at the inside of her room either so you were a bit excited to see what it was like.

Was it just her room ? What colors did she choose? Is it decorated all nice or a bit of a mess ? Did she have anyone in it before you were ?

Wait, you guys are just roommates you can’t be thinking about that way about Rio at all.

“ Close your eyes I can’t have you knowing how to open my room door can we princess???” She teases you. God you were not gonna survive this.

A couple of seconds later you hear the door click open, Rio grabs your hand to lead you into her room and moves you a bit so you can stand in the middle of it.

“ Open those pretty eyes for me,” you give yourself a couple of seconds to adjust to the light in the room to see the woman. Of course the wall are in her signature green color, a nice dark green to compliment the rest of the room. Paintings you assumed she made herself in the spare time, a mini fridge with what you assumed is where the alcohol she was talking about and a nice queen sized bed in the middle of the room.

“ Your’re the first person that I’ve had in here since my ex by the way y/n,” she starts off, pointing at the bed for you to sit in,” Your room was a guest room we’d use for our friends and this was our room. “

“ What happened to your ex ? “ you as casually and Rio makes a face at your question.

“ Wait fuck I didn’t meant to intrude I am so-“

“ Baby it’s all good with me,” she assures you,” we broke up after ten years together because she wanted to explore other option in the world or whatever she fucking meant by that”. Least you know she’s single.

“ Last time I heard about her, she was living in some town with her current girlfriend and their two cats. Which good for her I guess, I mean she was never the committed type when we were together, all I say is good fucking luck to her current gal or whatever,” she mumbles the last part while looking for a specific alcohol bottle for the two of you. The atmosphere room was pleaseant, Rio must have worked a lot on the room to make it as comfy as she could.

“ You have any ex’s you wanna talk about y/n ? We only know the basics things about each other” Rio questions after finding the specific bottle of alcohol she was hiding for special occasions. She quickly finds her way onto her bed, placing herself on the right side of where you were sitting, as always leaving no space between the two of you.

“ How strong is that bottle of alcohol in your hand?” You ask and rio smiles.

This was gonna be fun.

_________________________

“ You did not fucking steal Lilia’s jewelry from her cause she accidentally stole some of your food ?” You laugh as she tells the story.

“ She was being petty with me for a tiny thing I did when we were living together y/n, and all I did was just give her a piece of her medicine is all” she shrugs then takes a big swig of the bottle infant of you both. It had been three hours since Rio had let you in her room and the both of you were talking about whatever as a way to get to know each other. An hour into this hangout session or whatever you both want to call it, rio had suggested you both cuddle with each other and in your tipsy mind you decided why it.

On the inside, Rio appeared to you as quiet, funny and a little bit mysterious if you had to be honest with yourself. What you didn’t know was that she had been internally been freaking out since she found you here in the cottage. She felt bad kicking you out but it had been a couple of years since she’s had anyone here since Agatha. Rio hadn’t had anyone in the house since then and even if she did for a one night stand, she’d use the guest room to do it and not her own bedroom, making up all sorts of excuses as to why she didn’t have anyone in her own bedroom when she knew the real reason.

She was afraid.

Agatha had been her first relationship all those years ago when they met in Salem, built this house together from the ground up, shared so many happy memories together here then decided she wanted to leave Rio because she wanted to do more than just stay in Salem. She was other that woman but her insecurities got the best of her and she hasn’t had a meaningful relationship since.

“ I don’t know how that would could fucking leave you when you look so fucking hot,” you blurt out of nowhere which takes Rio out of her thoughts. Well, at least she knows that you feel the same way.

“ You think I’m hot ? “ Rio asks quietly enough for you to hear.

“ The mysterious demeanor of yours, the hot ass outfit you had when you got here, and not to mention when I first met you in not to good circumstances you kind of made me blush so much” you explain while rubbing her arm. Her mind was going places as you were cuddling up next to her, yapping about how hot she was and then casually rubbing her arm as well.

Both of you were drunk and she wanted to test the waters and see how much she can get out of you, no harming trying to get any information out of you.

“ How about you come sit on top of me while we talk then princess? “ She asks with a bit of a smile.

You don’t think about it too much, Rio guiding you on her lap so you don’t accidentally do anything.

“ Rio did I ever tell you that you look super nice from this angle , like really nice,” you giggle. It’s been years since anyone has said anything nice about her and she’ stumped with how to respond.

“ Can say the same thing about you sweet thing ,” the woman under you says in the most cool way, only eliciting a giggle from you and a confused face from her.

“ Did you forget to flirt Rio? for a witch who’s been alive longer than I have , you sure don’t know how to flirt with someone when the opportunity arises, “ you say in a joking manner to the older woman.

“ I might not know how to flirt but there is something else I can do babe,” she teases.

“ Oh and what’s that honey?” You ask in a sweet tone.

In an instant, Rio quickly changes positions so that she’s on top of you, pinning your arms above your head so that you don’t do anything with your hands.

“ You look super pretty under me princess,” she holds your chin in place with one hand while other hand is still pinning you into the mattress, not that you’re complaining or anything.

“ Just fucking kiss me Vidal,” you beg and you feel the other woman’s lips on yours in an instant. She forgot how good it felt to be in bed with someone she actually had some sort of attraction to. She can’t handle the way that you whine into the kiss, wondering what other pretty noises she can get out of you.

“ God do you know how many times I fucked myself in this bed baby? We’ve barely known each other but your’re something special baby,” she tells you as she starts to kiss your neck, no shame in leaving marks all over your neck for anyone to see. The sound of your moans and whines while she marks your neck, Rio feeling you grind into her body to set any sort of friction and the feeling of her hands roaming your body make you never want to leave her bed anytime soon.

“ Take this thing off of your body baby,” she says helping you get up,” I wanna see all of you”. You chose the right night to not wear a bra because the moment she sees that you had nothing underneath your shirt, Rio is on your tits. Sucking on your left nipple while tasting your other nipple with no mercy.

“ Be good for your mistress while I suck on these titties babe,” she orders,” then maybe I’ll fuck you with my fingers, or you can grind on my thigh so I can see you fall apart above me”.

“ Fingers! Please! I’ll be good for your mistress” you whine under her touch, you would let Rio let you do anything to you if it meant being pleasured by her .

“ Good choice baby,” She says happily, her right hands going into your sleep shorts to feel just how wet you were for her.

Still got it, she thinks to herself.

“ I didn’t even do much to you baby and your pussy is soaked,” she smirks and you moan as she continues to tease you. It won’t take long for you to cum with Rio teasing your pussy combined with her dirty talk. Rio wastes no time in taking off your shorts and underwear before she inserts two fingers into your wet pussy, groaning at the way her fingers go in easily.

“ Maybe next time we do this you can let Mistress eat this pussy,” she says and you let out a long moan,” god just the way your finger are taking me just makes me want to make you cum over and over again”.

It doesn’t take long for you to go over the edge with her fingers going at a fast pace, Rio taking in the sight before her. Praising you as she helps you down from your high, no shame in tasting yourself on her fingers, excited for the text time she might actually be able to taste the real thing from the source.

“Brain feels floaty Rio ,” you mumble to the other woman as she brings you a bottle of water and a small rag to clean you off. You take the bottle with no arguments as she cleans you up. Rio helps you up a bit to help you into your shirt again, internally giggling as how cute you look at her. Looking at her like she was the only person on earth. She felt happy to be seen like that from someone after years of being alone.

“ How you doing baby?” She asks and you mumble as she pulls you closer to her body.

“ Fine,” you yawn ,” sleepy”.

“ Okay baby,” she chuckles,” We can talk tomorrow about us”.

“ I’d love that Rio,” you say before you fall asleep in her arms and Rio falls asleep not long after with a big smile on her face.

#lizs writing #liz thoughts 💭#rio vidal #rio vidal x reader #rio vidal x you #rio vidal fanfic #rio vidal smut #agatha all along fanfic

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obscurevideogames · 2 years ago

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Tumblr’s Core Prodct Stratgy

Here at Tumblr, we’ve been working hard on trying to keep our sinking ship afloat for as long as possible. This means desperately trying to copy every new fly-by-night social media app that some multi-billionaire sh*t out during their daily Peloton routine. What follows is the strategy we're using to accomplish the goal of user growth. If you find the things we say here worrisome, please understand that is our exact intention. You've outgrown our target demographic. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

The Diagnosis

It's lookin' pretty bad y'all!

After somehow losing hundreds of thousands of users during the great pr0n purge of 2018, we started to wonder if anything could be done to get back to where we were. We even brought in a management consultant who charged us a ridiculous amount of money. It would make you sick if you knew how much, but we got a few nice meals out of it at least. Anyhow, we handed this guy the app, and HE HAD NO IDEA HOW TO USE IT! It was f*cking hilarious! But suddenly it all clicked -- our users are a bunch of stupid idiots who can't even do basic arithmetic. I mean, they spend all day looking at their phones, so what do you expect?

Tumblr’s best feature is its unique content and vibrant communities. But who cares, right? We're just as happy getting traffic from people sh*t-posting memes, vague-booking, giving out-of-context hot takes to news events, and spewing whatever random thought is in their head at the moment. Plus that stuff doesn't p*ss off Apple.

To keep this thing going we need new people. And by "people" we mean teenagers, like we used to have back in the good ol' days. Unfortunately we're all in our 40s now, so we have no idea what they want. But teenagers are so cool! Imagine if they talked to us like we're one of them? We're getting hard just thinking about it.

Our Guidng Principls

To make Tumblr cool again, we must address these huge glaring issues.

People can look at a blog without logging in. How is that fair to all the poor schlubs who had to fill out forms to get an account? Also we haven't figured out a way to force ads onto the personalized pages yet. But we swear that's not the main reason.

People can see content they are looking for or linked to. People can keep up with blogs they follow. But the problem with this is, people don't know what they want. We know what they want! We're smart. We wrote this damn site, remember?

Promote posts that incite pointless conversations. Posts that are guaranteed to bait every troll into responding. Isn't that why all your Magat relatives love Facebook so much? We can do that!

P*ss off your content creators in every way possible (see #2).

Create algorithms that throw an unending barrage of irrelevant content in your face. Have you seen Instagram lately? We could do that so easy!!!

The app is slow. The website is slow. Obviously this is because of GIFs. Facebook and Instagram don't allow them, so why should we?

Conclusion

Our mission changes on a day-to-day basis. Right now we're super jealous of all the attention that new Threads thing is getting. We're still not sure what it is, but we're gonna download it after work.

#obscurevideogames

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rootspiral · 1 month ago

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Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 7 part 3

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2][3][4][5][6])

chat what would be *your* reaction if you woke up and found agatha straddling you? (love that she has sensible pants under the skirt)

this is what sex after 50 looks like ladies, take notes

regular timeline: lilia has already joined the trial and was just doing a reading for billy.

lilia's pov: this is the first time she sees billy after he kinda sorta tried to kill her

this delivery from sasheer destroys me

lilia goes from anger to shock to recognition while billy reads her mind and responds to her thoughts

billy sounds so young here. of course he would have saved alice, if he could. of course he's reading her thoughts: he can't help it. he cannot help any of this. it's up to his coven to help and guide him, it was never the other way round.

now that the sigil is gone, lilia recognizes the lost boy from three years ago. not a scary monster, not the son of the scarlet witch. just a boy in a lot of trouble.

and look what jen does here. now that she knows what lilia's going through, she can step in and help her along

meanwhile agatha is making a scene, per usual. and lol she puts the hat back on, she really likes that outfit

love how jen is now 100% lilia's champion. same, girl, same

and jen being jen, she doesn't coddle or anything, she's very practical. she's like, hey girl, focus! you were in the middle of something important. I got your back and I'm going to fill the gaps for you. we can do this together.

yes I know babe the glinda halloween costume is cultural appropriation. could be worse. jen's dressed as snow white's fugly witch forchrissake.

does she have an eye on her crown? that's so neat

THIS shot. billy supporting lilia with his physical strength. jen supporting lilia with her no nonsense attitude. hell, even agatha just jumped in to save her from the falling sword.

agatha realising all that lilia did to protect billy. but also detective agnes getting another precious clue re: billy getting a new body.

lilia cast the sigil to protect billy from any external threats, and to give him the time to adjust to the shock of a new body and new life. again, lilia knew this was the son of the scarlet witch, someone that on paper terrified her. but when she actually met billy, she didn't see danger. she saw a young member of her own community in an impossible situation, and she stepped in. you know if she had met agatha as a teenager in salem she would have done the same thing.

pay attention now. lilia needs to find out what was her past/future self's mistake while reading for billy.

something interesting happens: while looking for answers, she jumps in rapid succession to episode 5 and episode 2. stop, stop, stop, stop, she repeats, like she is trying, for the first time, to direct her jumping. before, she was just a passenger. she's starting to become the Traveler

and where does she land? back to her maestra, where she can find answers to her current problem. she brought herself there, and only half accidentally.

and there's the crucial question.

che peccato, what a shame. a witch requires a coven.

the latin sentence on the table, in nave expeditus sis tam celer quam ventus, translates to something like "on a ship, may you be unimpeded and as fast as the wind". but there's another sentence in front of lilia, we can only read the first word behind her hand: mors. Death.

it's sure not going well now. despite the little step forward with jen, lilia still feels the odd person out, the one that's just too different to fit in. I know many of us, especially on this site, especially with our various but similar issues, have felt like that.

lilia's words are angry, resentful. but she's not angry, she's afraid. she's lashing out because looking in is too much. but like lilia herself said to alice: sad is better than angry.

when an actor gets that single tear forming in their eye... that's the good shit.

YOUR TASK IS NOT TO CONTROL, BUT TO SEE. you were born with a burden? turn it into power. if people don't accept you, show them what they were missing. do it in your own, unique way.

go to episode 7 part 4

#agatha all along #agatha deep dive #lilia calderu #patti lupone #character analysis

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the-californicationist · 3 months ago

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Cali's Kinktober: Day 03

Kinktober Masterlist in absentia lucis - "in the absence of light" John Price x f!reader Kinks > rape, torture, sensory deprivation Full tags on AO3 - MDNI - Read at your own risk.

You are a new recruit to the CIA, and Kate Laswell sends you to some remote blacksite for your interrogation training. Your temporary commander, Captain John Price, gives you a safeword, but as your training begins, you realize that you feel everything except for safe.

Hey, did you see where the tags said RAPE? Okay, just making sure.

It was three flights and a cab. It was airport food and cold coffee. It was forgetting whether the date ended in a three or a four. It was paperwork and passports and finally a cold office. It was a long trip, and you were running on empty.

“What are your expectations, here, Katie? I don’t wanna do another Warsaw situ–” The man complained.

“This is nothing like Warsaw. She can handle it. Trust me.” Your boss replied, her voice crackling over the video call.

The man who complained squared his jaw and fixed his eyes on you again, looking at you fresh now that your handler, Kate Laswell, had vouched for you. You tried not to fidget in your seat. You didn’t sit up any straighter. You weren’t here to advertise yourself as the bravest or the toughest of anything. You knew you still needed a lot of training, and if he wanted to draw his own conclusions about you, then that was his business, not yours.

“Her scores are high. She beat your exam?”

“She did. Her field test and her ‘chute certifications were performed at a DF site here in the states.”

There was a long pause before Laswell spoke again,

“Do me this favor and maybe I’ll even let you borrow her for a recon mission or two. I know none of your boys are pretty enough to pass for party girls, but mine is.”

“That she is,” you heard his tone darken, thickening in his mouth like sticky sap from a tree, borderline inappropriate. When he saw your reaction to his comment, he turned back to the screen and said, “Alright, Katie. You got a deal. I’ll send her back once she’s out of recovery.”

“Thanks, John. Don’t go easy on her, or she’ll make you pay for it.”

“Is that so?” His wry smile sent a jolt somewhere in your belly that you didn’t appreciate.

She laughed and hung up the call. You waited, trying not to let the jitters or the exhaustion win out, battling both but feeling pulled in either direction just the same.

“So,” he turned his attention to you at last, “Did you lay in your fuckin’ pink princess bed when you were a little girl and dream about becoming a bloody spy, or is this some sort of complex I should know about?”

You shrugged,

“A man does what he must…”

“Careful, girl. Quoting Kennedy can’t be good for your health if you’re working in Katie’s office, hm?”

“You don’t need to know why I’m here, sir.” You used his title like a knife, flashing it right in front of his eyes and watching them ignite with his smoldering, quiet fury.

“No, but I bet I’ll find out during our time together,” he promised, making your heart clench with stress and anxiety, “What’s your safeword?”

“Red.”

“Red,” he repeated it to you as if he wanted to see how it felt in his mouth. Then, after a long pause, he explained, “I will also stop before the point of emergent damage. But, I will push you past the point of pain. You will sustain injuries. Do you understand what I’m saying to you, love?”

He seemed to be under the misconception that this was your first rodeo. You knew what you had come here for, and it wasn’t some drill sergeant to yell you into shape. You had already been through Delta Force’s operator training center - the parts they allowed CIA operatives through, anyway - and you’d surpassed what Williamsburg had to offer. You were aiming to serve as a Special Skills operative, the blackest of the black ops groups, and although you lacked the physical strength to be of any use in most field positions, you had one key factor that your fellow recruits didn’t have.

Men never expected a woman to be a threat.

Laswell had plans for you. She’d tracked down two high value targets, but they were well-guarded. However, there were usually strippers and dancers and prostitutes as far as the eye could see, always partying and coming and going at all hours of the night. You were her way in. But, it was your job to get back out. If you could survive, you’d be a hero. If you didn’t, well, she had more pawns on the board. Not to mention, you had a mission of your own to complete..

So, you worked harder than anyone. You jumped at every field training exercise, you took martial arts classes in every different format you could find, and you lived at the shooting range. You didn’t have a social life. Usually, if you were alone in a room with a man, your fists were connecting with each other’s faces.

You looked back across the wooden desk in front of you, over his nameplate - Captain Price - and into his startlingly blue eyes,

“I understand.”

He came out of his chair like a fucking demon, lunging for you without warning. As you stumbled backward, wielding your own chair over your shoulder, you sighed inwardly. You’d at least expected a more civilized initiation, maybe even a moment for a coffee, before he started in on his training. But, alas, that was not to be.

You crashed the wooden chair against his head, neck, and shoulder as he rounded the desk, keeping hold of the broken armrest as a weapon. You stabbed downward, aiming for his throat and not holding back. He blocked you, cracking your wrist against the rigid wood. You stepped into his space, kicking his heel out from under him and following him to the floor. His head hit the concrete with a bang, and you used that moment to pin the armrest against his throat, bearing down on him with all your weight, dislodging his trachea enough to cut his air supply.

He flung you off of him like a ragdoll, and your back slammed into the leg of the desk. You twisted underneath it, staying just out of his reach, small enough to fit through the gap. He scrambled up on all fours, cackling at you with a gravelly, menacing laugh before leaping up and over the desk to pull you out by your ankles.

You kicked up and over, making contact with his nose, and when he dropped your other foot, you launched your heel into his balls, making sure to aim as deeply as you could.

He coughed, and it was your turn to laugh.

Your victory was short-lived. He launched his body at you, shoving your back down on the desk. You felt the familiar bite of his nameplate digging into your skull, so you dragged it out and swung it at him, cutting him across his cheek. He hissed, yanking it out of your hand and tossing it to the ground.

The captain forced himself between your legs, pressing his body down on yours, and wrapped his hand across your throat. You fought like hell to get him off, twisting his pinky until you thought it might break, but he caught your wrists in his other hand, holding them at a terrible angle, choking you until you saw rainbow spots discolor your vision.

“Well,” he said, breathless and bleeding, “Christmas came early, dinn’it?”

Just making sure you read the tag that said this fic has RAPE IN IT. I'm just checking in again. Just want you to know. Okay, thanks.

When you woke up, you weren’t completely sure of it, at first. It was as if you were still asleep. You opened your eyes, but all you saw was an endless blackness. You couldn’t hear anything, you couldn’t smell anything, and you couldn’t move your jaw. But you could feel everything.

Your whole body screamed in pain. One of your hands was wrenched above your head, and the weight of your body hung from your broken wrist, making you cry out in whatever muffled way you could.

Then, something was removed from your ears, and you could hear again. It was still quiet, but the sound of the aircon and the noise of another person’s breath were like blaring sirens compared to the silence you had been steeped in.

“Look who’s awake,” John’s purr of a voice washed over you.

You tried to reply, tried to beg for him to cut you down, but you couldn’t speak. Your mouth was holding something round and pliant.

“Ah, ah, ah,” he patted your flank, and you were suddenly aware of your nakedness. He’d taken your clothes? You could hear him scooting a metal chair across the room towards you, and his pants rustled as he sat down, “Can’t have you talkin’ your way out of this one. Based on the three stitches in my cheek, I was wrong to underestimate you, darlin’. Shoulda listened to Katie, this time. But, look at you. Just a whisper of a thing.”

His rolling chuckle made your bones itch.

“Hard to use a safeword when you’ve got a gag on, yeah?”

You nodded, acknowledging the irony.

Price moved in the chair again. No, he stood. You could hear his boots sliding around you in a half-circle. He kept talking to you, his tone as casual as ever,

“Yeah, thought so. But, this isn’t one of those trainings, pretty girl. You won’t be needing one. I will stop when you’re ready to stop, not when you want to stop. You need to learn that, sometimes, your body…” His hand snaked its way around your thigh and you tried to kick out at him, discovering your ankles were tied together and anchored to the floor, “... is capable of so much more than you give it credit for.”

Your heart began to slam against your chest, and your breathing became labored. You were having a panic attack. If you could only see…

“Hey,” his tone shifted, becoming the instructor again, “Breathe slowly. In. Hold it. Out. All the way. In. Out. Tha’s it. Good.”

There was a long pause. You could smell him now. It was cigars and fire and gunpowder and smoke. It filled your senses, replacing your sight with scent.

“I’m gonna put your ears back on, and we’ll see what you can do.”

The world fell away again, and all you had was the smell of him. Then, he started his training.

It wasn’t the pain that upset you, not really. Pain was something you could move past. It was the surprise. You never knew when it was coming, nor where he was going to hit you next. Sometimes it was his fist. Sometimes it was a belt. Sometimes it was an electric shock. Legs, ribs, foot, arm, neck, belly… there was no pattern.

You also had no idea of the passage of time. You were infinite and you existed in the darkness of infinity. It was just pain forever with no reprieve.

Until it wasn’t.

The first time you felt his fingers pinching the tender peaks of your breasts, your whole body jolted. You hadn’t really responded to the pain in the same way, but to pleasure? It was unexpected in a different way. You didn’t think he would violate you. That wasn’t even something they’d tried to do when you were with the DF.

You bucked, hoping that your displeasure was noted for the record.

But, perhaps, your mind teased you, the lady doth protest too much? You had wanted him to touch you when he’d picked you up from the airport. When he shook your hand, hadn’t you measured his fingers and started wanting? Weren’t you eager for training to be over so you could be invited back to his flat for the after-work romp you knew would be on offer?

Hanging there like a slab of meat had changed things a bit, but it had not quelled your desire, unfortunately.

You wondered if he had reacted. You imagined him laughing at you. Was he enjoying himself? Or was this all apart of his brand of training?

I bet you choke out all the pretty girls… you sneered inwardly.

More pain. This time, your ass cheeks were the targets. The snapping bite of what felt like a belt hit you repeatedly and without mercy. You found yourself breathless from silently screaming, your tongue pressing against the gag for some sort of relief and finding none.

Then, pleasure again. His thick fingers fondled your pussy from behind, digging into your flesh and discovering the wetness hidden inside of your unused hole. There was no romance to his movements, but forcing an orgasm from you did seem to be his goal. And fuck, you lamented, he was good at it.

He doubled up, twisting two fingers deep inside of you, pounding them into your body all the way to the knuckle, fast and hard, dragging you towards the edge. Your legs began to tremble, and you knew your face must’ve looked a mess, because you were in total shock.

It felt like he was going to vibrate you right out of your skin, and still he moved faster. He wrapped his other hand around your belly, holding you in place, and you thrashed against it, fighting the mounting urge to come.

You were doing pretty well, you thought, given the conditions. Until…

His soft lips pressed themselves down onto your spine. It was just a chaste kiss, but it unfurled you like a ripcord. You exploded, your whole body convulsing in bliss, and although you were wearing a blindfold, you could see white streaks and stars dancing across your vision. You came alive.

Price pulled out of you, and you felt the stream of slick drip down your legs. He’d forced you to squirt, something you thought was completely faked, only for pornos. But, there it was, proof of its reality smearing down your thighs and onto the concrete floor.

Pain, again.

The searing sting of a taser in the sensitive flesh of your belly.

Fists and harsh palms.

The bite of a chain.

A sharp ache from a needle or a knife.

His fist closing around your index finger and snapping it cleanly in two.

You wanted to puke, but there was nothing to come up. Your belly bulged and hollowed, letting you gag and choke around nothing, going through the motions and yet giving you nothing to move.

Then, pleasure.

His hands were back on your pussy, finding your clit and teasing you until you jerked forward. But, his hand remained, insisting. And insisting. And insisting.

You lost track of how many times you’d toppled over the edge of your orgasm. There were no borders, not anymore. Your pleasure was bleeding and smearing all around you in one great wave, blinding you to the starts and stops from coming and not. You were drowning in it.

Just when you thought you might pass out, you felt the prod of his prick between your legs, entering you from behind. You couldn’t feel a condom. You tried to twist yourself away, rocking your hips to no avail.

This was definitely not protocol.

Those lips returned to the same spot on your spine, and you melted onto him, covering him like hot wax, sealing your body onto his cock like a brass signet, letting him leave his mark on you.

His hands found your breasts, squeezing them roughly, holding your body to him in a vicious embrace.

Then, he dug around inside of your mouth and yanked out the gag. You felt yourself make a terrible noise, but you couldn’t hear the sound that came out. You knew he could, though, because when he heard you, his cock throbbed at your entrance, and it made him push forward, dipping into you even deeper.

Wait… Captain Price. Please. Wait. Wait.

You wondered if you were as loud as you tried to be. In fact, you wondered if he could hear you at all because he did not stop. If anything, he went onward with even more fervor.

His mouth kissed its way across your back, and you could feel his stubble and the coarse hairs of his beard raking their way along your skin. His warm tongue leaving little wet stamps as it laved across you, tasting your sweat.

The way his fat prick was stretching you out made you question if he was using himself or the armrest of the chair that you had tried to kill him with. You hissed from the ache, but he didn’t halt his advance. Didn’t retreat. He just pressed further inside of you.

How much cock did this jerk have?

Finally, you felt his hairy base tickle the skin under your ass cheeks, and you knew there was an end to his incredible length.

What… why are you doing this? Why…

He pulled himself out in the same way he had pressed in, slowly and with a fierce persistence.

Then, he began to pound himself into you.

You were at the perfect height for him, and it made you sick to your stomach to know that it was deliberate. This had been his plan all along. And although most of you felt completely indignant, there was a nasty little demon in your heart that celebrated in it. He’d wanted you from the start, even after you’d made him bleed, maybe even because of it.

And that thought brought you no small amount of joy.

His hands had returned to your breasts, playing with them too roughly. John was pinching your nipples and craning his neck around to suckle from them, nipping at them with his teeth until you screamed from the pain of being bitten. Even then, your screams were a poor deterrent. It didn’t stop him from returning to them, crushing the stiff tips as he worked his cock inside of you, fucking himself up into you at a punishing pace.

He only pulled away to stick his tongue inside of your armpit, licking you over and over in a place where no one had ever even thought to lick, and you wished you could say, honestly, that it had disgusted you. But, it didn’t. If anything, it made you gasp with a new brand of pleasure. He had awakened something fresh and bright in you that you never meant to discover.

Then, he got brave. He shoved two fingers right into your slack mouth, and you immediately bit down, hard. You could taste blood, and you fought against his flesh, trying to crack the bone. But, he shoved them down your throat, and all you had to chew on was a fat fist that wouldn’t even allow your jaw to close much less to bite.

You could feel his fingers in your throat, deep down in a place where fingers were never supposed to go, and all you could do was swallow around them, trying your best to keep from drooling into your airway.

His cheek pressed into your shoulder blade. He was enjoying you.

The way his gentle kiss or the softness of his cheek ripped orgasms from you was concerning, to say the least. You hoped you could remember this moment, of how the way he rested himself against you as he was taking you against your vocal will was throwing your body down a deep well of dark, forbidden pleasure. How your vision burned white and gold and formed spots of colors that had no names as he fucked you into a different plane of existence. How you thought, if you got a late night text, written in his smoky, raspy Scouse accent, you would crawl your way back across the pond just so he could give it to you again.

Oh, my God… You screamed from the pit of your belly.

His thrusts never slowed. He was like a machine. All those muscles were being put to work, and you were the mission.

Had it been hours?

Days?

Did the world still exist outside of this concrete cube that you suspected you were in?

Would you starve to death in here?

The demon that apparently lived in your cunt rolled its eyes and said, who cares? I wanna come again and again and again…

And you did. You were so overstimulated that you thought even someone looking at you the right way would make you come. It had become painful, at one point, and now you were not numb… Numb wasn’t the right word. You were soft. Your mind and your pussy were just murky, oily, cock-filled vessels, happy they were full and unwilling to question what it meant.

When he finally pulled out of you, you were limp. You didn’t thrash or fight. You couldn’t, even if you wanted to.

You felt his fingers again, drawing out your foaming, frothy come into his hand. He used it to smear it along the rim of your asshole. Then, he began to fuck your tight hole with his fingers, one. Over and over. One. One. One. Then, he added a second. Two. Two. A thousand times, two. Three was a bit of a challenge, but he pushed through. Three. Two. Three. Two. Three. Three. Three. And then, none.

None.

Where did he go?

Pain. A heavy hand slapping across your bruised tits. Again. Again.

You were screaming, surely. You wanted to be, at least.

The flat of his palm beat itself against your breast over and over without mercy.

Then, his cockhead rested at the entrance of your asshole.

You didn’t beg this time. If anything, he should be the one begging, you thought. If you lived, you were going to make him remember you.

Price shoved himself inside of you with some force, but you took it. You waited until he was fully sheathed inside, and when he took a breath, when those lips rested themselves on the back of your neck, you beared down on him, hard.

You felt his breath catch as it skittered across your skin.

The demon in you chuckled in triumph.

C’mon, Captain. Is that all you got? You made the words come out of your throat, and you hoped he could hear you.

The way that his hand fisted itself in your hair told you that he had.

If you thought he had fucked your pussy like an animal, you had been mistaken. He took your ass like he owned it. Like it was his toy. There was no pleasure-seeking rhythm, no careful pacing or grinding movements. He was fucking you because he wanted to come. So, you made him.

Every time he dragged himself out, you let him go, but every time he pressed himself in, you fought him the whole way. Squeezing and pushing, squeezing and pushing, making your tight hole even tighter, rocking your hips to drive him mad with want.

You felt him lose control, his hot spend filling your ass and bursting out of his swollen head, soaking your hole. You pulsed around him, and you felt that soft cheek return to your shoulder.

Come for me, baby. Good boy. You giggled out loud.

He slapped you across the mouth, and you laughed harder, feeling his cock slip out of you, spent.

You can’t hurt me in a way that matters, John Price. Do your fuckin’ worst.

You felt him step around you, smelling his breath as he held you face to face. Then, the noise of the room came back and you could hear him panting, ragged and desperate. You felt the blindfold fall away and you could see him, your eyes shrinking in the dim light of the cell, hurt by even the smallest glow of light.

You were back, but you were not yourself. Not anymore. You were a different you. Someone he had made. He had crafted you with his own hands.

“Why? Why didn’t you beg me to stop?”

His eyes were burning into yours as he stared down at you, questioning what he had done, what you had done with him. You had used him like a sharpener, honing yourself to a high shine, and he didn’t understand.

When you heard your voice for the first time, you mourned it a bit, but you knew it would come back eventually. It was raspy, muddled, and barely audible, but you said it with your whole chest,

“I was made for this, and I could go all fuckin’ day.”

“How long?”

“What?”

“How long did he keep you prisoner?”

Kate Laswell, you fucking bitch.

He’d read your file. The real one. Not the one on your tagline, but the one that you and Laswell had hidden away.

“Five months,” you told him, a sick smile on your face, “But, you already knew that.”

He sighed, his hands on his hips, just as naked as you, which you found a little funny.

“Why’d you come here? Why would she…”

You watched him wrestle with the betrayal in his head, knowing he’d been manipulated. He’d walked right into her trap. You basked in his confusion, having almost as much fun as you’d had while he was railing you into oblivion.

“Laswell said you needed a way into the Ikon, some strip club on the border between Russia and Urzikstan. So, I said I would help.”

“And she knew I’d say no…”

“Unless you knew I could handle it.”

It was his turn to be in pain. You could see the fire of it creeping through his belly, knowing he’d just tortured a girl who’d written the book in torture. The surgeries and the psych consults were long, long behind you, but your run in with the Russian mob was not something you were ever going to forget. But, now, John Price was going to give you a chance at revenge. You were his gun, and you just needed him to point you in the right direction.

Suddenly, he cut you down, freeing you from your hanging place. You crumpled into his arms, letting him hold you as you collapsed. You used your hands to pet the worry out of his eyes, and he fought you for it, trying to stop you from comforting him. So, you grabbed him with what little strength you could muster, and you pulled his face to yours, pressing your mouths together, making him taste your blood from where he had cut your cheek against your teeth. He yanked his head back, furrowing his brow,

“No, stop…”

“Shut up,” you said, kissing him again and feeling his surrender as he held you tighter, pulling you into his chest even though he was ridden with guilt.

“We shouldn’t, love. I’m so sor–”

“Where’d you put that gag?” You pretended to look around for it, earning a slight smile and an exasperated huff.

You knew you’d made the cut, because when he fucked you this time, he didn’t hold back.

Whelp. Kinktober!

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drtanner · 11 months ago

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You know, I think I'm starting to understand why the sharing culture on this site is such dogshit now.

As I mentioned earlier in the week, I spent several solid hours going through my art and writing tags as far back as 2012 and manually deleting everything I found, including all of my own reblogs, because I don't expect my opt out from having my blogs' data scraped to be honoured, and seeing the difference in the way people interacted with my work back then and the way they interact with it now (or the way they don't interact with it at all, more specifically) was deeply and tragically enlightening.

tl;dr, despite having had a fraction of the followers back then that I have now, as well as being an objectively better artist and writer than I used to be 10+ years ago, my work travelled further and people engaged with it more, and they also sent me asks with drabble prompts and questions about my OCs all the time, whereas none of that happens at all anymore. This place was a lot more communal back in that pre-2016 era and generally a lot more rewarding and fun.

There's been plenty of posts going around over the last few years begging people to reblog because that's how this site works, but every one of those posts always winds up lousy with people saying they just click "Like" on things because they like them but not enough to put them on their own blog, or because they don't want to clutter their blog, or because tagging things is too much effort or whatever, and I'm noticing a pattern. There's something that all of these common responses have in common:

All of these people are wholly concerned with themselves and the way their blog looks, or what their blog is supposed to be for, or some other similarly entirely self-centred point of focus.

Listen. Other people have already tried to explain to you that that's not what this place is about or what this place is for or that you can make as many sideblogs as you want if you're trying to curate something specific, and they've had little success in emparting understanding to you, so I'm going to try a different approach.

Here are ten (10) benefits of reblogging that will make this site more fun and engaging for you, personally! ( b ._.)b

You get to keep the thing for yourself, but you also get to pass it along for other people to play with, too! Best of all worlds. How often do you get to keep a thing and share it?

Look in your Activity after you reblog something you enjoy to find other people who like the same things that you do! This is a terrific way to find new people to follow.

Sometimes you'll make a comment when you reblog something and later find that an awful lot of strangers are reblogging it from you directly for some reason. This is usually because someone else later down the line made a much stupider and worse comment and those strangers are now all clicking on your reblog so that they can reblog the post without that other person's stupider and worse comment on it. I like it a lot when this happens. You can get a lot of new followers this way, too!

Even if you don't have the time or spoons to play with jpegs like dolls yourself, your reblog can put the post in front of those folks who do. Playing with jpegs like dolls is half of what makes this site function; give it a bit of time, and the jpegs will cross your dash again with new additions. As it is with anything you love, set it free, and the love will come back to you one hundredfold. 💜

Look in your Activity after reblogging some art or writing to see people going nuts in the tags. You can also go nuts in the tags if you want; everyone loves seeing this when it happens, especially the artist or writer themselves.

Commenting with your reblog is like raising your hand to share your opinion with the whole room, whereas reblogging with your comment in the tags is more like whispering to the person next to you and keeping it between yourselves. Contrary to what you might have been told by others, both are perfectly fine and good and they each have their place. You can do both on the same reblog, even! Take part in the conversation!

If you're too shy to talk, reblogging without commentary is a lot like parallel play. You're all enjoying the same thing quietly together!

When you reblog things a lot, you'll start to see the same people popping up in your Activity feed all the time. These people are your friends whether you actually talk to them or not.

Stuck for something to say? Point out something you liked about the post! It can be something small! Acknowledging things that make you happy out loud is good for your mental health and also your soul.

Reblogging also invites other people who are doing all of these things to find and follow you!

There's so much to do on here beyond checking your dash and occasionally looking at the For You tab. You can discover all kinds of people and things by making a bit of an effort and having a poke around in your Activity feed and on the blogs of people who interact with the posts you're seeing and passing along! I promise you don't need an algorithm to do this for you; the action of exploring the landscape around you on this website is fun in its own right!

Get out there and see who your neighbours are. 💜

#Tanner talks #long post

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writeforfandoms · 11 months ago

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Homeward Bound 1

Find the series masterlist

Welcome to my newest wip, because dragons are my absolute favorite fantasy creature. Also, please leave canon at the door, this is a full on fantasy AU we're now entering.

Seriously. I have so much world building already done for this. Come ask me questions.

We've got a bit of a slow burn, dragons, baby dragons, and drama. What more could you want?

Eventual Simon Riley x f!reader

Warnings: Swearing, fantasy au rules, literal dragons.

Word count: 1k

You huffed as, yet again, Kyle and John invaded the nesting area. They had gotten more polite over the last weeks, but still.

Truly, though, you couldn't entirely blame them. They were both in the group for this upcoming Hatching, and were very eager. John had been passed over last time, and Kyle was new this time.

You would never tell them, but you had a good feeling for them, for this season.

“Quiet down,” you told them, stern and no-nonsense, refusing to smile at their silliness.

“Aw, we jus’ wanted te see,” John wheedled, his northern accent still strong despite his time in the capital.

You rolled your eyes. “Quietly, then,” you stressed, taking a quick look round. Most of the dragons were still calm, only one or two first timers fidgety and anxious. Good enough. Nothing to fuss over.

Kyle nodded eagerly, making a face at John. But the two were quick to look around the nests, whispering to each other.

You just closed your eyes and leaned back in your seat. They'd be fine. And if they weren't, they'd get hissed at.

Good enough.

Yawning briefly, you blinked lazily up at the ceiling of the cave, which stretched far above your head. Strategic perches had been hewn into the rock over generations of dragons, giving plenty of spaces above the hatching grounds for the dragons to observe. The seating had been added for humans to observe, long before you.

In a matter of weeks, the seats would be filled, and the cave would be the site of great joy once again.

Kyle cleared his throat softly, prompting you to look at him instead of the ceiling. You raised one eyebrow in silent question.

“You know best,” he murmured with a little smile. “How are they looking?”

“Healthy,” you murmured. “No issues that I can see. It's a good clutch this year.”

“Good.” Kyle smiled, clearly pleased. “That's good to hear.”

“You don't have long to wait now,” you encouraged gently, taking pity on the young man.

He nodded, looking at the nests and the mothers with something akin to awe in his eyes. “Not long,” he agreed in a murmur.

Your lips twitched in a smile, a little against your will. You had appearances to maintain, after all. “Go on,” you murmured. “Either go say hi to some of them, or go elsewhere.”

He shot you a look, a little startled and a little betrayed, but he nodded. He made the smart choice and went to the silver near you, greeting her. He'd be fine.

You, instead, looked for John to make sure he wasn't getting into trouble. It took you a moment to spot him, way out by Ilsbet. Rather to your surprise, she had tucked him into her nest.

Could be first-timer instincts, although most first-time mothers went the other way and drove everyone away from their nests…

You meandered your way over there, smiling when Ilsbet chirruped at you in greeting, stretching her head out to gently nudge your shoulder. “Hi, sweetheart,” you murmured, scratching under her chin. “You seem to have a pest in your nest.”

“Oi!” John's indignation was muffled somewhat.

Ilsbet purred, trying to encourage you closer. Probably so she could tuck you into her nest along with John.

“No, sweetheart.” You patted her nose. “I can't. We've talked about this, remember?”

She drooped, massive green body only squishing John a little. He oofed.

“Oh come now,” you scolded gently. “None of that, hm? Or your rider will insist I'm tormenting you.”

“Are you not?” The dry question came from behind you.

You didn't jump, but you did slowly turn to look. Ilsbet's rider was big and broad, blonde hair kept short, the usual fabric covering the lower half of his face. Brown eyes stared at you, impassive and unimpressed.

“No, Simon. I am not tormenting your dragon.” You kept your tone flat as you spoke to him, none of the teasing warmth you had for Ilsbet coming through.

Simon grunted once and stepped around you, staring down at John in his dragon's nest. “Out.”

“But–” John started to protest.

“Out,” Simon repeated, crossing his arms over his chest.

John sighed but got out of the nest carefully. Ilsbet didn't even notice, busy purring and chirping at her rider. You did catch a glimpse of four eggs, shells still soft beige flecked with gold. Good.

You were quick to back off and leave Simon alone. He was notorious for being difficult to get close to, even among the riders. And since this was Ilsbet's first time nesting… Well. You expected him to be extra grumpy.

But the hatching wasn't that far away now, thankfully.

You made your way back over to your seat, settling down again. In a little while, you'd check on the mothers, see if they needed anything. See if you could get another count on the eggs.

But that would be in a little bit. For now, you found Kyle and John, watching them talk quietly. Your gaze wandered back to Simon, taking in the breadth of his shoulders, the way his body language had softened as he spoke to his dragon.

He did have a heart. You'd known that, of course. You'd been at the hatching when he'd been selected. Dragons didn't select people who were heartless.

Although how such a sweet dragon had selected someone as reserved as Simon… You would never understand.

John and Kyle left, and Simon left not long after them. Your domain returned to quiet, the sand warm even through your shoes. All was as it should be.

You breathed out slowly, eyes drooping half-closed again. This was better.

Not too much longer until the hatching.

Not that you went a single day without seeing Simon, as he came in to check on Ilsbet often. It was almost like he didn't trust you.

Honestly, you weren't sure if it was just you, or if he was just like that in general. After several days of dealing with him, you were inclined to think he was just like that.

Well. The hatching would be over soon, and then it was unlikely you'd see much of him for three more years.

#homeward bound #dragonriders au #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x you #f!reader

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maxwellatoms · 7 months ago

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I bought a Gartenmeister Fuchsia plant for my birthday back in January. It was a centerpiece all winter long, but recently it started looking a bit sickly. I'm not a "green" gerdener anymore (haha), but I am also by no means a master. I think it was infected with powdery mildew, but I also convinced myself it was spider mites. I try to keep things all -natural out there, so I dried it out and sprayed it with some neem oil after pruning it back a bit. I really should've pruned off all of the infected bits, but I didn't want to lose the flowers.

I did that a few more times, unable to commit to a hard prune because I kept telling myself "I don't know what I'm doing, so maybe it's not sick. Maybe it'll fix itself. Sure would be nice to have those flowers back." I finally gave up and cut it to the bone yesterday, but yesterday was too late. I had to remove every single leaf because I dithered for too long. It's probably not going to make it.

I feel the same way about our culture. US culture. Western culture (though its really a global problem). The Entertainment Industry. The Media. It's sick. We probably need some rather serious surgery to fix the problem, but we just will not see a doctor. To see a doctor would be to admit there's a problem, and for some that is the greatest sin of the 21st Century. Maybe some of us are just hoping the system will recover on its own so we can have our pretty flowers back.

For me, it was around 2010 or so when I first started to smell something "off". The symptoms had certainly been around a while. This was just when I noticed. This was when I got my first, "Hey, let's not make fun of corporations" note. It's when The History Channel stopped airing stuff about history in favor of aliens because that's where the money was. And rather than rebranding, they just left it as "History", encouraging future generations to believe whatever they felt like. This was also about when traditional news outlets started skewing to clickbait in order to compete with sites that were clearly 100% not legitimate news sites. Again, as long as the money is right it's "just entertainment" and you' can're welcome to believe it if it means you'll watch more.

I'm all-in on Dead Internet Theory now. The disparity between what major news media outlets will report and what you see from actual people on Tumblr or Threads or Reddit is pretty shocking. And those sites are already compromised by bots and bad actors. The tools exist now to actively bamboozle millions of people, and I have no doubt we're already seeing some of this now. In six months or a year you'll find out it (whatever it was) never happened or was generated by an LLM. The time to stop listening to anyone online was a year ago.

Trust no one.

Not even me!

It's cultural rot. It's spreading faster and faster, and I'm not sure what happens when we get to the end of this ride. Actually, I AM sure what happens. If we don't prune back hard now, then the rot takes over. Best-case, you clip the infected branches off too late and it takes years to recover. Worst case? Nature soldiers on but the plant succumbs to infection and dies completely, replaced (eventually) by something that can actually hack it in that spot.

When humans produce art and information, and then comment on that art and information by producing more art and information, we call it "culture". We're moving toward a time when the vast majority of art and ideas we get out eyes on won't be created by humans. Or at the very least won't be created with the purpose of commenting on or enriching the organic human experience. When that happens, what will we call it? What will remain of our culture?

#maxwell atoms #entertainment industry #media #rot #grim reaper

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wishfulsketching · 10 days ago

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What a year, huh.

I'm not going to talk about how everything is going to shit in the real world, that's not what this post is about.

I can remember that before Gotham, I had a bit of trouble trying to get inspired about art. I did end up doing a lot of original art due to that, tho. Gotham was the nice return to a hyperfixation that got me back to creating, which felt like a saving grace tbh. I draw A LOT, you may have noticed. I thank my ADHD for that. So, when I'm unable draw I do struggle spending my time in any meaningful way.

I also started reading again this year. Murderbot Diaries got me by the throat, I love those books so much. I've also liked T. Kingfisher's books so far, haven't read that many yet, tho. I also read in english, not the translated versions, so it's a nice way to "use" my english skills.

I finally started needle felting this Christmas! I've been meaning to do it for yearsss. Bunnydog was my ever first attempt, Slowpoke was my second.

Arcane season 2. Woohee, I had totally forgotten when it was going to drop! It was a good thing tho, I was saved from a lot of painful waiting around, hah. I might've chickened out of the Zaundads fandom back in the day but it's so much more chill now. Well, kind of. I do see people complain a bit in the tags. Plus I bet it's a lot worse in other sites. ANYWAY!

I feel like that in this short time after season 2, I've gotten better at art and got my groove fully back. I am so grateful for people who just keep being so nice and support me here adsfsdfo! I said it back in 2021/2022 I think but I'll say it again: zaundads fandom has been one of the nicest fandom I've been part of. (I have to mention tho, so is riddlebird fandom)

I'm still a bit overwhelmed with all the attention I'm getting, I admit, but I am also so happy I get to share my unhinged love for this stupid little man.

My next year will start with job hunting and balancing my mental health (I've been "in recovery" for years, it's gonna be a adjustment to start working. I am still very much struggling but not as much so I have to find a job that doesn't kill me in a month lol).I've also made one new years resolution which is that I will more actively display and live my preferred identity and not just go "eh whatever, I know how I actually feel like so". Not gonna be easy because I get embarrassed about everything and will want to backpedal so hard at the start but uhhh...I'll try not to? Eh.

Yea. So a lot of new things for the next year and I already feel tired. But hopeful!

I'll end this post by randomly sharing my fave CJU gameplays because his gameplay vids always help me to relax:

youtube

I couldn't find the playlist so here's PART 2 and PART 3. I really love the story in this one.

youtube

A game I expected nothing from and now rewatch this playthrough ever so often. PLAYLIST

youtube

Love the game, love the commentary, love the vibes! PLAYLIST

#talking about stuff

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estell-allary · 11 months ago

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A Devine Destiny

Relationship:romantic

Pairing:Clarisse La Rue x fem!Aphrodite!reader

A/N-hey so this is a part 2 to Aphrodite’s bane and this is set a few weeks later after the bathroom scene with Percy,this is a fluff aswell(this was kinda a request but they just asked for a part 2,and I really hope they see this x)

You were taking a night walk to calm yourself down from all the fuss of the new kid..at least that’s what you we’re telling yourself..,Percy Jackson,you were one of the unlucky ones that had to help him find out what he was good at,it did not go well,so now you we’re strolling around camp in your pj pants and sports bra with a small jacket on trying to relax until you saw her.

You and Clarisse have been…talking,kinda.I mean yea you two have been getting closer than before,but your not friends just.. aquanauts per say.Everyone knew something was there I mean there was for Aphrodite and ares aswell but everyone also knew not to bring it in front of you or her.

Anyways, why was she out so late?You wondered and why is she..soaked…?you enquired to yourself before she saw you “why are you out so late?”she said looking at you with a cocked eyebrow “i-i uh..why are you wet?”you said looking her up and down “none of your business.” Yea you guys are definitely not friends.

“Um ok..”you said looking down “you didn’t answer my question.”she said crossing her arms “you know we’re not supposed to be out this late”she said sternly glaring at you “your out to!” You said trying to defend yourself “that’s different,come on”she said and grabbed your arm “where are we going?”you said pulling away from her.

“I’m taking you back to your cabin”she said grabbing your upper arm and yanking you “NO!..please I don’t want to go back there..”you say gripping her forearm to stop her from pulling you “why?” She said her tone questioning but you stayed silent “have they been starting again?!”she yelled angrily,everyone knew that a few girls in the Aphrodite cabin have been starting on you for not being a copy and paste of them.

It started of as teasing,then it went to sly comments of how you acted like the comments a bitchy aunt would say at Christmas,then it went to hair pulling then to saying you don’t belong it the Aphrodite cabin and so on.

“No..yes”Clarisse let out a sigh and started dragging you in the other direction without saying a word,you stayed silent trying not to cry thinking about the cruel words the girls have been calling you

You arrived at cabin 5,ares cabin,her cabin, “w-why are we here..?”you said between small unnoticeable sniffles “why do you think,your staying here tonight”she said while pushing the ares cabin door open and dragging you in there was only a few people down stairs maybe 2 or 3

“Where is everyone..?”you asked Clarisse as she drug you up the stairs with her to avoid her half-brother matty and his knowing gaze on the two of you “I made them stay at training for capture the flag tomorrow” “oh yea I forgot about that..”

There was no one upstairs,just you and Clarisse you thought as she got some clothes out from her chest of draws,you were standing next to her bed looking around trying to make it not awkward,it wasn’t working.

“Take your jacket and shoes off and sit down”she said while eyeing you,you obeyed siting down and slipping your shoes off,she then chucked a dark red band t-shirt at your lap “there,put that on”she told you and went digging in her draws again,trying to find clothes for herself.

When she did she started talking and turned around before pausing “does it fit-…you know when I gave you the shirt and told you to put it on it wasn’t rhetorical,right?”you looked at her for a few seconds before gripping the hem off your jacket and rolling it between your finger tips,you went to speak before shuffling and slipping your hands under your jacket and slowly pulling it off all with Clarisse looking at you.

You pulled the shirt the right way round before slipping it over your head and pulling it over your chest and then all the way on,just in time to see Clarisse look away and move her still dripping hair over her shoulder before speaking “I’m gonna get in the shower and get changed you..”she started before pausing “..you stay here and do what you want,I’ll be like 10 minutes”she stated while walking to a oak door in the corner of the large room.

When Clarisse came out 10 minutes later,her hair still dripping going to do her hair care routine,you were half asleep on the edge of her bed eyes not shut but hooded snuggled up with one of her pillows,she sighed and started to do her curl routine until she heard you mumbling something incoherent until something very clear slipped out of your mouth,

“Your so pretty..”you said cuddling further into her pillow “i-uh..thank I guess” she said focusing back on her hair “your welcome clari..”she huffed out a sigh before starting to speak “what have they even been saying”she started finishing off her hair and walking over to you “what have who been saying..?”you said looking up at her “your half-siblings” she finished

“Oh..nothing much,just pushing me,saying I’m not supposed to be a child of Aphrodite and little sly comments…”you replied “who”she said sternly as you sat up “‘s okay it doesn’t matter” you said trying to avoid her gaze “who”she repeated “clordia,Chelsea and molly..”you said looking up at her tiredly,

She sighed and sat down next to you gently grabbing your shoulder and making you lay down with her “your tired,go to sleep”she said laying your head on her chest.

After she thought you were asleep she kissed you on the side of your mouth “goodnight”she whispered laying her head on top of yours,

Yea definitely not friends.

A/N:hey sorry this is kinda short but it is very fluffy and there so cute together remember to read Aphrodites bane before this but it’s ok on it’s own to also my requests are open wide for your surgestions have a great day/night and bye🤍

#clarisse la rue #clarisse x reader #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo series #cabin 5 #cabin 10 #fem!reader #aphrodite!reader

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ixiot-ghostrebel · 1 year ago

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Hello my fellow ghost, I have this idea that came to my mind while reading some crack sites, imagine a Creator! Reader irritated, did not sleep well, a lot of work any excuse and goes for a walk to clear his mind, then simply sticks on the little finger with some object.

He shouts: FOR THE NAME OF!!, I AM STAR TO SERIUSLY CONSIDERING ERASE (nation in which it is) OF THE MAP.

Along with another irrelevant insult, then how would they react if some acolyte is near or even better the archons of a certain nation. I don't know, I laughed for myself thinking about this and I do not know if you will also find it funny.

In any case if you do not feel free to ignore or if you want some idea to write the priv is available. Bird says goodbye

Hello, @pajarokujo ! Though I do not see the humor, I can get what you're going for! (Is this how Tighnari and Collei feel when Cyno cracks a joke?— /lh)

I'll just do the Archons for this since I think they'd have the best reactions LOL

Venti, Zhongli, Raiden Ei, Nahida, and Furina Reacting to Reader's Tantrum

You were a little furious. You hadn't mean what you said, but in the attempt to calm yourself down, you jabbed at one part of the map and screamed, "THIS NATION. I WANT IT DECIMATED. PERMANENTLY." forgetting completely that you were the Creator and your booming voice could be practically heard by everyone.

Yes...they're panicking.

(Warning: Might Be OOC & Written Before 4.1 Special Program!)

Venti

Wisp boy is now panicked wisp boy. He ain't gonna stop trying to find a solution to save Mondstadt from your wrath until he drops dead. Quite literally.

Man, this bard is going crazy—all of his ballads have a slight air of panic to it, since everyone practically heard your threat from beyond the heavens.

So when you practically run into Mondstadt to personally reassure everyone that you aren't going to decimate the nation, Venti immediately sees your presence as his doom. He tries to keep it cool, and it sort of works? (It doesn't)

"AHAHA, YOUR GRACE!~ COME JOIN THIS HUMBLE BARD TO SEE THE GREAT TREE OF VANESSA!" "Venti, I swear to you, I—" "YOUR GRACE, IT'S WORTH IT PLEASE—"

Yeah, he's not taking the news well. But at least he'll collapse from relief knowing Mondstadt wasn't in danger after you clear up your mistake so yeah 👍 Good job, Creator!

Zhongli

The moment he hears you say that, this man is both protective over his baby (his nation) and hella scared of what the heck you're going to do to erase the Geo Nation off of the map.

When you try to enter Liyue, you "coincidentally" bump into Zhongli who tries to distract and stall you from your "objective," while also try and figure out your motive.

"Your Grace, may you please accompany me to Jueyun Karst? I believe the view there might be well, and I am in need of finding Jueyun chilis." "Zhongli, I—" "Thank you, Your Grace. Please, accompany me."

He does his absolute best to prove to you that Liyue is not a nation worth decimating for. When he hears that it was all just a misunderstanding and that, no, you weren't planning on destroying Liyue at all, he sighs in relief and decides to treat you all to tea.

Even you know y'all need it.

Raiden Ei

Gurl's not having a good time. It's almost like pre-Inazuma Archon Quest all over again. Ei's doing her best to make sure that Inazuma is the most well-behaved nation and yeah, it's kind of a disaster

The moment you step foot into Inazuma, you immediately sent to Tenshukaku to talk to Raiden Ei. She's even got Yae Miko on board with this—they cannot afford to lose Inazuma.

"Your Grace, please listen." "Ei, please—" "Inazuma has diligently followed all your orders, and we will continue to do so if you bless our nation with the chance to continue to thrive." Ei is almost going back to a similar state of being "close to the heavenly principles," only except she's here in the present and not in her eternal meditation.

The moment you get her to hear you out and that, no, Inazuma's not going anywhere, she nearly deflates on the spot. But, as she's the Raiden Shogun, she tries her best to stay composed.

Nevertheless, she's forever relieved that Inazuma is still favored by you.

Nahida

Like the others, she panics. While she is heavily worried about her subjects, and how they're faring, she has to leave that to the Akademiya's Grand Sage while she tries her best to find the reason as to why you want to decimate Sumeru.

She's heavily in thought and the moment you barge into the Sanctuary of Surasthana, Nahida immediately panics, thinking this is the end—the time you tell her to step down and watch Sumeru fall. Nevertheless, she wants Sumeru to live, and she tries to put up a fight.

"Your Grace, please tell me—what is it that made you hate Sumeru?" "Nahida, please...." "We've done nothing wrong, as far as I am aware of. Is there something that was done that makes you think Sumeru betrayed you?" She's determined to not only stall, but get you to tell your (non-existent) reasoning as to why you want Sumeru destroyed.

She's probably the easiest archon that you will be able to tell them that it was not true, and when Nahida hears this, she is both relieved, overjoyed, and making a mental note of your temperament.

Yes, she's going to five you her research about how to deal with your mood. Have fun!~

Furina

Boy oh boy...if you thought Venti was dramatic, Furina goes FULL ON dramatic. The moment she hears this, it's almost like the prophecy all over again. She panics, and she immediately demands that the charges against criminals become more brutal, and that their theatrics and soap opera are to be only top-peak level. (Neuvillette's getting a headache dealing with her, you can tell—)

When you manage to get to Fontaine, you almost don't even recognize it. The citizens are so quiet when you arrived, and moving away from you respectively as Furina immediately rushes forward and whisks you away to the Opera Epiclese to entertain you.

"Furina, please listen—" "Don't you worry about a thing, Your Grace, for I, Focalors, shall show you how Fontaine will regain your approval through their justice, and through their opera!" "Furina—" "Please, Your Grace, rejoice in our spectacles, and enjoy the feast that is brought to your majesticness!"

We know all too well that Furina is a good actor. And this situation really proves how much she's hiding her panic, despite the fact that it's killing her. She's probably the most difficult, a little above Ei, archon that will hear you out about your accidental temperament.

When you somehow manage to get Furina to listen, she immediately deflates on the spot, before immediately putting back on her elegant posture. She asks Neuvillette to go back to normal charges, and she lowers the bar for the stories, allowing her subjects the breathing room that they're used to.

She treats you to Fontaine desserts, so win-win, yeah?

And we're done! I hope you guys enjoyed it lol—See you next time! :D

Ghost Rebel Side Notes: THIS TOOK TOO LONG—MUCH LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SJGHKJGHEUHSIE SORRY-

Please feel free to send me any of your requests for Fontaine! I'm too obsessed rn lol—especially Fremmie (Freminet)!!! Anyways, hope y'all doing well lol—see you next time :)

✦ Check out The Ghost Rebel’s Blog Description & Info Page to See if Their Mailbox is Open! ✦

#sagau genshin #genshin impact sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #sagau x reader #genshin self aware #sagau #yandere sagau #genshin cult au #sagau brainrot #sagau cult au #sagau venti #sagau zhongli #sagau ei #sagau nahida #sagau furina

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idorukiss · 2 months ago

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Heres a sorta drabble/headcanon kinda thing of how I picture MC's relationship with Zayne could develop~ I'm not much of a writer but i very much plan to do ones for the other boys as well because the brainrot has consumed me, so please enjoy~ 1,039 words || You can also read it on ao3 ‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙⁺˚･༓･˚⁺‧͙

Xavier ・ Rafayel ・ Sylus

You are without a doubt the reason for Zayne's existence and his driving force all through school into becoming a Cardiac Surgeon. And all of that lead up to him finally becoming your personal doctor, everything he studied for is so he can finally fulfill his purpose to help you and your heart

At first, Zayne puts up a wall between you guys- trying his best to keep things as strictly professional as possible. Seeing your face in person again only brought back all the feelings he's boxed away and then some, and he was scared it would somehow come in the way of your treatment.

But he can't hold himself back for long, especially after you find yourself seeing him outside of the hospital more and more often. Going from quick hellos in passing, to checking out new Cafe menu items together, to even showing up at his place unannounced to make sure he isn't working on his day off. Somehow you've worked yourself into his daily life without any effort and everything just feels like that's how it was always meant to be

Of course your own feelings start to develop too, you aren't even sure when they first appeared. Could you have felt this way when you were both kids and didn't realize it till now? Or is it a result of getting closer and seeing so many different sides to him lately?? It all happened so naturally you almost didn't notice it at first until you sat there staring at his profile in the car one night in content silence and it clicked. You love this man with every fiber of your being

Nobody made any moves for the longest time, any plans you guys had made together were seemingly still platonic- much to the groans of those around you who were very aware about both sets of feelings. One night as he is walking you to your apartment door after spending the day together, you mention something coming up- Maybe its another Twinkle Toy's event, or even just a new movie coming out that you are dying to see. But he smiles as he listens to you excitedly talk about it, obviously deciding in that moment he was taking you to it no matter what

"So what time does it start?" "I think the site said 8pm" "Alright then, I'll pick you up at 5pm. Does that work for you?" "Why 5? We don't need to be the first ones to show up you know" He smiles at you "Well I figured it was only right to take you out to dinner first if we were going to be out that late. We don't have to if you don't want to though-" "No, dinner sounds great" you say with the biggest grin "Its a date then" he responds as he lifts up your hand pressing a gentle kiss on it before walking back to the elevator leaving you stunned

Did he just call it a date?! You spend the foreseeable future with your head in the clouds, practically floating with excitement for the date- which goes amazingly once it approaches. It's just like every other time you guys have hung out, but also nothing like it at the same time. He helps you in and out of his car and offers his arm to you while you walk side by side. Every little action he does is seen in a new light. There is no way you could ignore the flips your heart does every time you see his absolutely smitten face- not even aware of your own equally smitten look in return

And any plans from now on have all become official dates as well, with him treating you like an absolute princess the entire time. He never takes that next step forward though, only going as far as holding hands and gazing lovingly at everything you do. It looks like you have to be the one to initiate anything more at this rate

Once again he walks you to your apartment door, and he lingers just a moment before he turns back around and you grab his arm in that moment. Stammering a bit before giving a determined sigh and placing a quick kiss on his cheek. Out of sheer embarrassment you tried to enter your apartment quickly, but its your turn to get stopped. And this time its with his lips crashing onto yours. It was brief, way too brief, but absolutely electric- he apologizes and you shush him and give him the goofiest in love smile before you part ways for the night

Zayne is constantly in battle with himself as to not move too quickly or do anything that you might not be ready for. He usually lets you make the first move, or tests the waters in a way where you can take the lead in whichever direction you are most comfortable. And without a doubt, like with the first kiss you guys shared, as soon as you show him that you are okay with something he won’t hold back (of course always asking permission the next time)

Brief pecks goodnight, turn into deeper kisses in the car before you get out. He grabs your hand every chance he is able to as if its second nature to have your fingers linked between his at any given moment. You only had to invite him inside once at the end of a date before it was a given that after every subsequent date you would spend some time on the couch cuddling and making out before he went back home

Even when things started getting more intimate between you, he always made sure you were the one making the first move and continued with caution- always getting your consent before doing anything. It was touching knowing he cared so much about you, but sometimes you wished he would just stop holding back and have his way. There's nothing he could do that you would say no to at this point, you love and trust him with your entire being

You wouldn't change anything between you guys. You are Zayne's entire world, and he has easily become yours as well

#love and deepspace #zayne #zayne love and deepspace #zayne l&ds #zayne lads #first post on this new blog of mine AND first time sharing and sorta fandom stuff like this lmao #its not a real fic btw i really just infodumped my vision into gdocs and this is what i got lmao #also its 2nd person cause i just found that easiest to ramble with lmao #if anyone wants to take any of what i wrote for these and incorporate them into some sort of real fic ill kiss u #idoruwrite #if any fic writers want someone to infodump ideas for them to write im ur girl xoxo #budding relationships

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lilacxquartz · 4 months ago

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CHASING HUMANITY • kenjaku × fem!reader

ao3 • masterlist • << previous chapter • next chapter >>

summary: kenjaku assigns you a new role for a case study, finding that it brings him conflicting feelings.

a/n: extra long chapter <3 no real warnings for this one, maybe sickness & suggestive content. i’m setting it up for a pretty messed up chapter for next time though.

Chapter 4. Cold Soba

In a way, this whole thing didn’t feel real.

What exactly were you really doing here?

And why were you having these thoughts now of all times?

Taking a deep breath, you attempted to steel yourself. No matter how you looked at it, it didn’t look good. You took a life this morning. Whether it was indirect or not, your actions led to the end of someone’s existence and for… what exactly?

What a joke. Suddenly, the air around you felt thicker, more thicker and barely breathable. You wanted to get out of the car sooner than later, lest you forget how to function. Just for a second, nothing more, the promise to stay put be damned.

You left the car anyway. You wouldn’t go far, at least. The gas station nearby where he was parked was sparsely manned with just a single employee. Their unrelenting gaze on you felt almost accusatory, but there was surely no way they knew, so it was all likely in your head… right? You were just browsing around, they were probably just making sure that you weren’t a thief. Fingers flicking through overpriced snacks and drinks alike in the aisles, quickly realising that the very prospect of food nauseated you.

In a strained tone, you asked the clerk if there was a bathroom on-site and he said there was one around the corner of the building, accessible from the outside. You tore forward in a flash, slamming the door and locking yourself in the tiny room yet somehow, it felt less suffocating than being in the car with him.

For a while you just stood there, your body reeling. Your eyes focused on the shoddy lock that barely kept the outside world away.

Soon enough, the wave of nausea passed through you again. Whether you wanted it, whatever little substance was in your stomach was coming back up and you couldn’t do a single thing about it.

Flipping the lid open, you dry heaved into the bowl.

Your mind continued to overwhelm itself with confusion.

Why did you act like that, back there?

You had never shown even a hint of potentially being violent, so why did you act like taking a life away like that was… nothing at all? Did living the way you did, so empty and numb and abused, really give you the right to apply that same level of depravity towards someone else just as undeserving?

Was it worth it? Your mind continued to challenge you, almost tauntingly. Was it? To attempt to impress someone who didn’t even see meaning behind your own life? Who nearly left you for dead?

You weren’t so sure why you were having these thoughts now but here you were, unable to escape them.

Leaving after washing up, you settled back into the passenger seat of the car, finding that Kenjaku was now wide awake, staring blankly at the steering wheel. He glanced you over without regarding you before pulling the car back onto the road.

Attempting to diffuse the tension, you tried to break the ice. “Thought I ran off?”

For a while, he didn’t reply as though seeing through you. Kenjaku recognised that look that you currently were, finding it almost nostalgic. After his first kill, his mind also spiralled in a similar fashion. It was a familiar feeling by now though and he had grown desensitised to the whole thing, prioritising his efforts into chasing the meaning behind humanity.

Still, it was a look he could never forget.

Meaning that you must have gotten him to an extent.

Maybe you were even trying to find your own meaning too, in the midst of this whole mess that you got yourself into.

“Not at all,” he finally said, “you’re not that stupid.”

The drive for the most part down the freeway was surprisingly quiet, the radio tuning into music on and off with static that buzzed when the connection faltered. You stared out of the window, seemingly dissociating through the ride. He didn’t mind. Eventually, he found himself tuning into the news, shuddering when he caught a mention of his calling card being found earlier than anticipated, with one suspected not yet found victim.

How quaint. Did the local authorities really think that you were the second victim? Almost. Luckily he got that itch scratched with the unfortunate tourist.

He supposed that it made sense that you were reported missing, though. He wondered if your cop boyfriend was the one to report it, or if someone else saw something they shouldn’t have. Maybe he was careless and you left behind something that indicated a struggle or maybe you simply had places to be during the early morning that seemed suspicious in the wake of a fresh murder. As long as they kept their efforts isolated to the vicinity of the town though, then neither of you needn’t worry, at least for a while.

Kenjaku flicked his gaze back at you, wondering why he was even giving you so much thought.

It didn’t matter to him whether you left the shithole he found you in or not, but by bringing you along, he invited an extra inconvenience in doing so. If you were to be a missing person, then he would likely have to disguise you a little now. Maybe shorter hair and a different colour. Red might be good. Maybe something you wouldn’t usually wear. Anything to distract the public from what you typically looked like.

The drive itself was long and tedious either way, but it did soon come to an end. Parking the car over a cheap inn-style hotel near a different town, not too far from the road, he figured that some real rest wouldn’t hurt at least for a couple of nights. If the efforts were focused elsewhere for now, then that’s all that mattered. He would get you a new phone, something simple, just to use as a burner. New clothes and some hair dye. To keep himself hidden, he would dress down for a while, refraining from the recognisable robes.

A shame. Those things were comfortable.

Leaving you behind to rest in the hotel room, he could only hope that you stayed put that time and weren’t roaming around the area causing more trouble than he could keep up with.

It would be a shame to get rid of you soon.

~~~

With everything back in tow, he found you resting on the still made hotel bed when he got back, indicating that you hadn’t moved a single inch since he had left you there. Good. You weren’t a hindrance, after all.

Leaving the goods there, he set out again, walking around this town in particular for a quick bite to eat and maybe, if luck had it in store for him, a brand new study.

It was a risk though, but he couldn’t help but be curious about places like these where life moved slowly and the residents seemed more often than not, to not quite be enjoying their lives in such areas.

A peculiar thought, perhaps. When he still worked in the city, the common narrative was to fantasise about owning property in the countryside, far away from any stress.

Maybe the lacking bustle just meant that now there was nothing left to blame, so that’s why people tended to lose themselves instead in places like these.

Kenjaku soon found himself walking into a noodle bar. It had barely caught his eye as the sheet metal sign that advertised it just over the entrance was long faded, but a blackboard outside seemed to hint at a lunch discount. Shrugging, he thought that it couldn’t be too bad. Food was food and he was hungry. so he could gamble a bite to eat.

His order was taken by a rather unkempt man which should have been his first warning about this place. Unclean fingernails and greasy hair that tied strands of hair together, oil stains that painted the man’s once white t-shirt. The udon he ordered seemed to be prepared by the same guy, who slid the bowl over the bar table.

Maybe he was going through something, which meant all the better for him. A vulnerable mind meant it was easier to break into.

Ignoring the hair he found in the broth, he reluctantly took it out and tried the dish. Not too bad, but he refrained from complaining. This strange man might just be the next case study.

“Haven’t seen you here before,” the man spoke as he threw a towel over his shoulder, planting his palms over the counter.

“Oh, I’m just passing by,” Kenjaku replied, feigning politeness. He was capable of doing so perfectly well, as long as he didn’t have to do it too often. He preferred stalking his prey however rather than mingling with it.

The man grimaced slightly at the strand of hair sitting on the napkin, but didn’t apologise for it. “So, where are you going?”

Kenjaku slurped on his noodles passively, replying between contained bites. “Probably Tokyo.”

“Probably?” the man laughed, trying to joke. “You don’t know where you’re going?”

“I’m just out on a day trip,” he replied, “the destination is a mystery, you know?”

The man quietened down after that, realising that he was talking a bit too much. It couldn’t be helped though—the place often did poorly—there were very few customers, let alone new faces that turned up each day.

Setting his chopsticks down, Kenjaku then looked around. The restaurant was small, but cosy at least. There was a distinctive humming sound coming from an old cooler that had maybe three total drinks inside. The fact that the man had very little to do, implied that the place wasn’t thriving. If he didn’t come back to work the next day, it would very likely not be immediately noticed.

“You run this place all by yourself?” Kenjaku asked, sifting through this wallet to pull out a few bills.

Taking the cash, the man shook his head. “Nah, my brother takes the evening shifts. We run it together. Used to be more popular, but there’s a population decline. More people keep leaving for the city.”

“I suppose there’s more work there,” Kenjaku speculated. For the sake of getting onto this guy’s good side to maintain the facade however, he chose to maintain his politeness while offering some sense of humour to further match the guy’s personality. “I’m still around for another day or two, make sure to stay in business.”

The guy laughed as he took back the bowl, his tone of voice sounding almost relieved, “I’ll try.”

Kenjaku pushed himself back from the stool and walked around the town to see if there would be anyone else more suitable of a candidate for the role, but it didn’t really seem to be the case. The residents in the town weren’t particularly special in any way with the occupants mostly being senior citizens and maybe a few younger people who had the misfortune of their family living here.

So perhaps the man who ran the failing noodle shop, who still found a reason to smile despite being clearly in shambles, was the next in line.

He did wonder to himself what exactly could possibly be the reason. The only hint that he had was that the guy liked to joke and shied away when there was no response. He probably had a corny reason to keep going, like seeing others smile.

Although, as he made his rounds back, he saw that the man remained unchanged from his work attire but was now standing at a bus stop. This town wasn’t too small, just empty, large enough to call for a bus route so he wondered where this man actually lived. It wasn’t too uncommon to reside in an elderly parent’s house, especially in places like these and since he worked with his sibling, he wagered it to be just that.

An amusing thought entered his mind however, as he saw him shy away from a woman waiting for the same bus. Not that she noticed it, her focus rightfully turned away from him, but he seemed to be shifting around nervously.

This gave Kenjaku a curious idea.

He was travelling with a woman, after all.

Returning back to the hotel, he noticed that you were only just now waking up. With an eye roll, he chucked the box of hair dye at you and crossed his arms, waiting for you to register what was evening happening.

“What’s this?” you asked, your voice strained with sleep.

“What does it look like?” he asked, his eyes narrowing at your silly question.

You held the box in front of you to inspect it in the dim light. It was still day, but the closed curtains made it difficult to see.

“Hair dye…?” you observed.

He smiled, finding your slow and tired mind to be entertaining. “Very good. Think you can do that now?”

“Right now?” you asked, yawning again. Your arms stretched so far that the box tumbled right out of your hand, watching as his eyes narrowed the longer he watched you.

With a firm and slow nod, he confirmed it to you, “Yes… and you’ll also change into the clothes I got you. You’re on the run, remember? You can’t look too much like yourself.”

Swinging your legs out of bed, you reached down to pick up the dye and walked over to the bathroom, pausing as he tugged on your hair to halt you in place.

“Also,” he added, “you’re getting a shorter cut. Don’t worry, I’ll entrust myself as your hairdresser, I’m sure it won’t look too bad.”

You warily laughed, trying to pry him off of your hair. You still felt off though, the very little sleep that you had doing little to soothe your still ongoing worries. “I’ll… trust you.”

Letting you go, he nodded again. As Kenjaku thought more and more about the plan, he couldn’t help but feel a bit odd about the whole thing without understanding why. It wasn’t jealousy, but something still stirred at the idea of you redirecting the ego feeding attention you were so happy to give him and putting it elsewhere.

He knew he was being irrational though; you didn’t even know about the plan just yet and he was already annoyed at you.

Shaking the thought away, Kenjaku focused more on discarding every single thing you had on your person and burning it off somewhere down the road or maybe chucking it into a dumpster somewhere once he got to the city.

As you soon emerged from the bathroom, your hair was still damp but you filled out the new clothes he got you pretty well. Something inconspicuous. Just a black long sleeve top and some jeans in a different cut from before. You still looked like yourself, but different which would hopefully be distracting enough to the untrained eye.

Slipping into his own bag, he pulled out some scissors and brought you forward, reeling you in as he tried to keep you secure. He patted his pocket for a hair tie, pulling your still wet strands back without warning.

“Hey, that hurts—“ you protested in complaint.

“Bear with it,” he tutted, rolling his eyes. You wouldn’t have been compliant either way and he didn’t want to sink too much time into doing it properly.

Cutting the ends off, he stared at the result. It was good enough, he supposed. Perhaps the colour was too eye catching, but at least people wouldn’t focus too much on the face. Given what you were wearing and how you looked when he first met you, he figured that your partner would be the type to describe you as shy and maybe even frumpy, so this sleeker appearance was doing more favours than not.

Your voice then brought him back down to earth. Surprise, surprise. More complaints. “Did you really have to take so much off?”

He glanced at the pile of hair on the floor, shrugging. “It’s easier to take care of now, be thankful.”

“Why aren’t you getting a haircut then?” you asked, attempting to sass him. He did have long hair, after all.

“Because,” he poked at your forehead yet again, enjoying messing with you, “I’m actually capable of taking care of myself.”

Besides, he wanted to continue to walk in Geto’s shoes for a while longer. It’s partially why he wanted to stop by Tokyo, loving the paradox of a cruel monk. There were some interesting prospects in the city and he wanted to secure some deals before moving further up north.

As you mourned your hair, Kenjaku took a step back, setting the scissors aside and leaned his back into the sofa. The news channels were talking all about the barbed wire shibari, his motives still speculated as unclear.

How funny.

If only they knew.

Arousal soon stirred in his trousers as more and more attention to his kill was addressed, a coiling feeling that made his cock feel hard. For a moment, he considered something darker, but he also sought your compliance for tomorrow (and for the foreseeable future) so he withheld. Excusing himself to the bathroom, he stepped into the shower and ran cold water as soon as he undressed. The running flow was loud, like crashing static and was enough to stifle away any grunts and gasps that escaped his frustrated lips.

Stepping out, he was still curious, but he had no intention of ruining the prospect of accomplishing a good study with sex that wasn’t mutual. It was surely annoying though, as the curiosity lingered. Whether or not he got to fuck or not, wasn’t an issue that he exactly cared about. Like with most of his life ideology, he preferred his actions to have meaning. Meaningless sex as a result was just what it was—boring, pointless even.

Maybe that was a him only issue to work on by himself, though. Kenjaku wondered if you would even like it or if you had been maybe put off of it thanks to whatever your boyfriend had you do with him.

Enough about that though.

He wouldn’t force your hand, it wasn’t that type of arrangement. There were more important matters to fixate on, his arousal finally melting away.

“You should sleep,” he said as he squeezed the last of the water out of his hair, throwing the towel over the sofa, “we’re getting up early tomorrow.”

“Are we leaving already?” you asked.

“Nah,” he shook his head, putting on a t-shirt, spreading himself out on the sofa, already concluding that he would sleep on it. He didn’t trust the bed in a place this run down anyway. If anyone was going to get bugs potentially crawling on them in their sleep, it wasn’t going to be him. “New case study in the works. You’re helping me.”

“Oh… okay,” you reluctantly settled into the idea, your mind still spinning from the last time you ‘helped’ him. “To study what they find meaning in, right?”

“Correct,” he replied.

“And what am I helping with?” you asked.

“You’ll be acquiring the trust of a guy I found in the town,” he yawned as he laid it out to you, “just be friendly with him, get his guard to go down—flirt if you have to.”

You frowned at the idea. “Why?”

Kenjaku shrugged. “The guy gets visibly nervous around women I’ve found. I feel like if he trusts you, then we could get him to open up more. You follow?”

You hummed, the idea of your actions leading to someone’s death still sounding foreign in concept. You weren’t terribly okay with it, despite thinking that it was all fine the last time. You already did it once, so in theory you could do so again, you just wondered when you would stop feeling so bad though.

Noticing your cold feet on the matter, Kenjaku raised an eyebrow, sitting up to study your reaction further. Initially, he wasn’t going to pry, but he couldn’t help but feel nosy, “You’re not having second thoughts… are you?”

“I-I don’t know,” you replied, your voice tinged with uncertainty. “It’s just too soon—“

“—oh, but you said you could keep up, no?” Kenjaku interjected, feeling amused by your sudden turnaround. “Are you really saying that your use for me has already run out?”

“No…” you denied, shaking your head, “that’s not what I’m saying, I…”

He tutted, unable to give into messing with you. Still so malleable, you just needed a little push into doing his dirty bidding. “I put a lot on the line for you, you know,” he leaned back, his head rolling over the pillow. “I was perfectly content with burying you, but your whining sold me.”

You took a deep breath, trying to shake off his teasing. “Do I have to kill him with my own hands?”

He smiled. So that’s what this was all about.

“You don’t have to lift a single finger,” he assured you. “Just talk with the guy. It’s not like I’m asking you to have sex with him.”

“Okay… I’ll try,” you replied, unable to not cringe at his crudeness.

Something about you surely did feel colder to him, though. You felt more distant, but he didn’t understand it completely. To him, people were relatively simple—at least usually. You seemed to be mad at yourself for something that you didn’t have to cause, was that it? Nobody forced you to give the tourist the jar full of acid nor to suggest such a method to begin with. You spoke to him with such a tone that implied that you were upset at him for something that he truthfully did very little to influence.

You were blaming him just because he was there. In the last day that he spent with you. he hadn’t done anything to you to make you feel unsafe other than retaining the general aura of unease that he passively carried.

His promise remained true: he wouldn’t kill you so long as you helped him.

And yet you were falling behind.

Kenjaku found himself disliking this sort of thought exercise, realising that you were forcing him to practise empathy. If he had to try and consider it, maybe it was just the side effect of you being both younger and naïve as a result. You seemed sheltered due to the lifestyle you had to endure before, that much wasn’t your fault. That wasn’t on you, he supposed. Jumping from an abusive domestic partner and to the side of someone like him couldn’t have been easy for anyone.

But at the core of it, whatever it was that was going on in that head of yours, wasn’t something that he should care about.

So if you were to keep winding him up with your own personal hindrances, then your usefulness was limited to him.

Once again, he asked you, “Will you keep up?”

Kenjaku stared at you, his gaze unwavering, cold and unrelenting. You were either going to keep up with him or he was going to dispose of you. It was that simple. In his carefully crafted lifestyle that he spent years cultivating where people were nothing beyond the studies they served as, there was no room for failure.

If you failed to comply, then you were defying the very cause that he sought to find answers within.

However, you then replied with a promised confirmation, “Yes. Sorry. I will.”

He watched from the sofa as you laid down to rest, still seeming exhausted, once again disregarding the concept that he could very take you out at any second, freeing you from your sorry existence if he had half a mind to do so.

Perhaps it was that jaded look you had though that stopped him.

The lack of fear missing from your face.

It was a look that he recognised quite well.

Maybe you didn’t care what he actually ended up doing, even if it did end with your body six feet under or burnt down into ashes, scattered into the back of a dumpster. Maybe you wouldn’t even care about torture inflicted on your body. Something told him deep down that such a thing was the case of you.

And that very little notion bothered him more than he cared to admit, because suddenly, he found himself being able to relate to you.

If there was no meaning to your life, then you were in the exact same boat as he was and perhaps this was something he was missing all along.

Maybe you’d both just cause each other to sink faster, but maybe—just maybe—one of you could find the lifeline instead.

But would you hold on?

…Would he?

~~~

The alarm sounded rather loudly in the morning at around eight o’clock. Given the season, it was still quite dark as well, but that was largely due to the cloudy skies. Kenjaku was able to both wake up and get up with ease, but it seemed to be a completely different story for you.

He narrowed his eyes as he turned the corner, seeing you perfectly passed out and not too different from a corpse. For a moment, he considered that you could actually be dead, but then he saw you turn onto your side.

“Up,” he firmly said, nudging at your tucked in shoulder.

You however did not immediately get up.

Kenjaku simply just sighed and stared at you with a resigned expression, tutting at the slight predicament he found himself in with you. Maybe he was just getting too old for this. How much sleep could you possibly need anyway? You were relaxing for most of the day yesterday as well.

Finally, you mumbled something in your sleep but it was far from coherent. He repeated his command a bit louder that time, finding that it only seemed to make you fall deeper asleep as your body sank even further into the mattress.

“Really?” he muttered.

He was about to tear off the covers in slight annoyance but then you finally stretched awake, yawning and still clothed. The bedding absorbed some of the dye. More to throw and burn away, he thought, but maybe after the upcoming case study, if it all goes according to plan.

“Finally,” he mumbled, watching you rise from your wake. The more he stared at you, the more irritated he got from the plan he had in mind for you, not quite understanding his own agitation.

It was as though he was pissed off at you for doing something before you even knew what you were getting yourself into.

Rationally, he knew that the blame was unjustified.

Finally out of bed, you adjusted your clothes and brushed out your hair. You still looked half asleep and in the process of waking up, but you were up and ready.

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he walked you out of the hotel room and flipped the door sign to not be disturbed before directing you into the car.

“We’ll have to find you someone who can resemble your face card,” he said, buckling himself in. “We’ll be stopping by Tokyo, so we can find some nobody for you to become. A new name can open up more opportunities, especially since you look a bit different now.”

You simply nodded, throwing him off a little bit. Maybe you were just tired, he speculated, but the way you were acting hinted at something deeper, something cryptic that you were purposefully withholding from him. While he didn’t expect you to get chummy with him, it was a little odd that your personality was as erratic as it was.

He didn’t like it.

Being forced to care, that was.

For now he ignored that side of you, continuing to feed you information about the plan at hand and unloading as much information as possible with the hope that you could retain at least some of it.

“I’ve already been there once before,” he continued to say, “the place is usually empty from what it looks like.”

You blankly nodded once again.

“You’re keeping up with me here, right?” he asked.

You casted him a blank stare before stretching your arms out in the car, as if still exhausted. “Yeah. I’ll get the guy’s number and invite him over.”

“If you’re lucky,” he reminded you, “it might not work, but you’re likely capable of that much, aren’t you?”

“You’re putting too much faith in me,” you warned in a soft tone. You were still unsure about your indirect involvement with taking away a life despite knowing fully well what you were getting into the second you asked him to let you tag along.

Besides, if this guy was as insecure as Kenjaku made him out to be, then it had a chance to fail. As a former shy kid, you knew a little too well how it was to have low self esteem and if the man wasn’t too successful with women, then your attempt might seem mocking to him. Even cruel. He would likely be suspicious about your intentions right away.

You knew that you would be if you were in his shoes, anyway.

“Are you saying that I shouldn’t trust you with the plan?” he asked, trying to read you.

You however shook your head, shrugging your shoulders as you did so. Your answer wasn’t really all that clear. “I’m saying to keep your expectations realistic.”

He nodded too, feeling annoyed with your vagueness.

So cryptic, so cold.

So distant, almost.

Kenjaku didn’t like it anymore; he wanted that bantering, rebellious woman he met just days ago who wanted to defy all order while seeking out chaos, because that’s what drew him to you to begin with. This whole display however just felt… boring, for a lack of better words.

Just like the rest of them.

What happened to the version of you that poked fun at him or even jokingly defied him? What happened to the strange person who would feed his ego and flatter him?

Why were you… so confusing?

Was it because you were still hung up over what happened with the tourist? What was his name—Seb? Sean? …Seth? He didn’t really care to remember his name, seeing him as just another statistic in his journal of reports. Still, you shouldn’t be so upset, he thought, he was the one who endured the ugly parts after all, he was the one who studied those people, not you.

And if it was violence that you were so afraid of, then he would happily take on the responsibility of taking on the burden of dirty work forever, leaving you to play the part of someone trustworthy.

What he truly wanted from you was just someone who got it above all, someone that he could joke with and catch sass from.

(Was he lonely? Really? Him?)

How frustrating.

Try as he might, however, he could not read minds all the same. So whatever it was that was going on in that pretty head of yours was not something he knew anything about. What did you really want? And why were you being so elusive, so unclear?

Kenjaku could only sigh as he pulled into the on-street parking.

This was why he worked alone.

No mess, no overthinking the little things.

“You’ll do as you’re told,” he could only say, deciding to match you on the coldness you were giving him. You were being unfair when he was being surprisingly neutral. Ungrateful is what you were; quite literally biting the hand that kept you fed and concealed away from the chasing force that willed you back into a loveless home. Stupid girl. You didn’t understand.

“Okay,” you flatly responded.

There you went again with that bland tone, like a record playing a dull melody. Lifeless and uncaring.

Did you even want to be here?

…Did you even want to be alive?

Maybe you didn’t deserve to find meaning in your own life, after all.

Getting out of the car, he slammed the door shut and locked it as soon as you were out too, gesturing for you to follow him. The red hair looked good in the sunlight, he thought. A good decision on his part. Maybe you should be wearing glasses too to further conceal your features? On the other hand, maybe not. You were fine with how you were. They were searching for a corpse back in dirt hole you crawled out from, not a live crimson haired woman hours away from the area.

You’d be fine.

“One bowl of cold soba,” Kenjaku ordered as soon as he walked in. Despite the season, he could always go for something refreshing. He almost prayed to himself for the man to get it right and for no hair of mysterious origins to make it into the broth.

He glanced at you, waiting for you to order. It would be on the house for you, so you’d better be thankful.

“Beef udon, please,” you quietly asked a moment after reading the menu.

So quiet. So annoying. Why weren’t you being more assertive? Confident? He hated witnessing whatever it was that was going on, feeling more and more agitated the longer that he was forced to watch. Had something happened even just last night? You went to sleep after being off all day and then it somehow got worse.

Even just being in the same room as you bothered him. You sat alone at the bar stool while he sat further into the restaurant, scrolling mindlessly away on his burner phone, elusively checking on a possible son of his’ social media, his eyes narrowing as he failed to keep up with the ‘pranks’ the boy kept posting about.

Kenjaku sighed as he looked at you, after pocketing his phone as the meal was served to his table.

Tokyo could be good for a lot of reasons, he thought. It wasn’t too far away, but the current prediction seemed to be that he would stay in the south, from what he managed to get tipped off on from his moles back in the city. Besides, the city could give him more room to hide in even if he still continued to ‘study’ people, just as long as he played it carefully.

Especially since the goal was to otherwise find someone whose life you could assimilate into; maybe they wouldn’t have much going on or no immediate next of kin, which would make their search all the more delayed. Identity theft on its own was otherwise an easily enough accomplished task through paid forgery, he supposed, but there was something extra special about living on in the lives he had erased from existence.

It was like a sentimental legacy.

This would be a driving point that he would attempt to get you to understand too, like a mental initiation. The importance of both sacrifice and dedication.

It was almost symbolic, he thought.

Quickly torn away from his internal monologue, his focus was brought back to you when he heard laughter from the counter. He narrowed his sights as he leaned in and slurped on his noodles, listening in on what sounded like a genuine laugh that escaped your lips.

How odd.

Your lips were tightly curled and dimples poked at your cheeks. Your eyes squeezed into crescents—all at something the man was telling you, a smile just as bright on his face too.

Was this all an act?

No, that was an involuntary giggle; you even snorted. Something that the oaf had managed to utter left you feeling genuinely entertained.

Kenjaku then heard more.

You even called the man funny.

A compliment? Technically, he did encourage flirting, so he couldn’t be too annoyed at the delivery. That’s what your assigned role for today was. You had to get the guy to trust you so that you could lure him back into the hotel, it was that simple and yet, all it did was leave behind a strangely complicated feeling that stirred within him.

It wasn’t jealousy, he had been over this with himself already.

So what did that leave?

Whatever. It wasn’t important for now. If you were capable of completing the job successfully just as he had asked you to do, then that’s what he should be focusing on.

He wondered more about the man, he didn’t care to learn about his name, just like the others. This was subject number 15 or the restaurant worker, at best. Ordinary subjects didn’t deserve to honoured, not when their calling cards would make them so much more memorable instead.

Kenjaku tilted his head to the side, watching the interaction. He speculated that this man could technically find the reason for going in with others, perhaps. He seemed quite dim before making you laugh, after all, and now his expression was completely lit up.

An interesting specimen, indeed.

He finished up on the dish, focusing on you and ignoring him. This wasn’t envy, he thought to remind himself, as if trying to convince himself, even. Maybe it was something closer to entitlement. Whatever it was, he didn’t like that after doing everything otherwise correct at your side, that you were giving the warmth you otherwise kept locked away to a total stranger instead.

Entitlement indeed, he was a stranger to you too.

But it felt different somehow.

You then seemed to be exchanging phone numbers with the guy as he tapped the digits into your own burner phone.

Mission accomplished, he supposed.

That meant that it was a good time for him to leave then, throwing some bills at the counter as he motioned for you to follow suit. He wondered what type of relationship the guy thought you and he both had, clearly something unimportant if he thought that he was actually getting somewhere with you.

That was almost hilarious.

The drive back was in complete silence though, just like before. You were cold again.

With a weary sigh, he tried not to pay it any mind. “Text him all day if you’re able to, then invite him over for tomorrow evening.”

You nodded idly at his request with a blank look on your face.

It was then that he finally got it.

It hit him, just like that, like a sharp slap to the face.

He had seen that look after all, he even acknowledged it all the way back in the gas station.

You were simply being cold because you didn’t understand.

It was very likely a learned response from your relationship, if he had to guess. You probably just learned to bottle up your feelings and then never opened up the lid, because why would you?

Albeit reluctantly, he finally gambled a portion of his still latching shred of humanity that he had left. In a way, this was a lesson to him all the same, even if it didn’t have to resort to something violent.

While empathy was a foreign concept to him, he didn’t want to be ignored by someone that he finally found that he doesn’t mind keeping around for the long term. Being ignored hurts no matter how tough you are, he supposed and besides, it wasn’t good for his arrogance.

So for you, he would make do.

Settling in right beside you, he finally closed the gap not saying a single word and to his surprise, the tension you held onto finally seemed to sag. The stress finally seemed to melt away.

It wasn’t quite something he expected to endure, but he tolerated the sensation of you sobbing into his shoulder, trying to stifle it all at the same time.

Maybe if somebody did this for him after his first kill, he wouldn’t have become so far gone either.

So maybe you weren’t a pesky brat, nor vile, nor dumb or lacking. Just misguided, forced to endure what you shouldn’t have.

Maybe you did truly get it, after all.

What a strange sort of accomplishment he felt.

For today, he felt that he had truly learned.

If not about you, then humanity? And if not humanity, then about you?

(…About both?)

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