#also i was very good about not getting takeout for two weeks

[naomiknight-17]

In the good news department, tomorrow I can go to the mall and get my copy of Pikmin 4

Can't wait omgggggg

[takumasheisty]

・𐑺 ‧₊˚໒꒱ Love Languages・𐑺 ‧₊˚໒꒱

Included: Isagi, Barou, Nagi, Kunigami, Reo

Synopsis: Different ways the blue lock boys show their love for you ☆｡･:*:

Pairing: male character x gn!reader

a/n: honestly this is all fluff to cleanse my mind of the smut i've been writing. Also I really dislike Isagi’s part but he’s my favoriteeeee 😔 idk why my writing is so poor

Isagi - words of affirmation

Isagi is your biggest hypeman. He constantly praises you, complementing every single one of your features. More than often, you catch him staring at you like he’s analyzing your face. It would be creepy if his intentions weren’t so pure.

“Your eyes are so beautiful Y/N”

Every once in a while, he likes to pack you a lunch. Along with the sandwiches and animal shaped fruits he packs you, there’s always special notes.

“You’re amazing, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

There was one time he was in a rush, and he forgot to write you a little message. Of course, you noticed and were disappointed, as you looked forward to his sentimental messages each time. He acknowledged this, never failing to write you a paragraph.

His favorite phrase consists of three words - I, love, and you. Everyday he makes sure he says it to you at least once, and you can tell that it’s always genuine and from the heart.

Barou - acts of service

Barou doesn’t say “I love you” often, but he definitely shows it. He loves to do everything for you, and will get upset if he sees you doing any task.

“What’re you doing? Sit here, I’ll do it.”

It’s not that he thinks you can’t do it, he knows you’re very capable. But he believes that he should be the one to do everything around the house, so you can relax. “As a good boyfriend should.” he always insists.

He’s a great cook, and loves to make you all different types of foods. What’s more, is that he’s attentive. He takes note of the foods and deserts you like the most, so he can make them more often. And he does the dishes. He hates to see you washing anything, so he does after part as well.

Nagi - quality time

Ever since you guys began dating, you’ve been attached at the hip. Everywhere you are, he is. He loves spending time with you, even if he’s just napping next to you while you’re immersed in your favorite book. He trails behind you, even if you’re just walking to the bathroom or the kitchen.

One time he was was napping, and you wanted to go get some takeout. The second he felt the weight of the mattress shift, he woke up.

“Where’re we going? He spoke in a sleepy voice, set on following you to wherever you we’re planning to go.

You guys don’t even need to be doing anything specific, he simply enjoys being in your presence, it makes him feel safe and comfortable.

Kunigami - physical touch

This boy always has to have his hands on you. Not even sexually, he just always has to be touching you in some way. You always find his arm wrapped around your waist, and his fingers intertwined with yours, especially in public. Kunigami has no shame. He will show that he is yours, holding hands and following behind you like a puppy.

Kunigami likes to snake his hand up your shirt and feel your chest. Again, nothing sexual, he just loves feeling as close to you as possible.

“Ye’r so warm..”

His favorite hobby is cuddling. He will cuddle you whenever, wherever like a giant teddy bear. In bed, on the couch, on the floor I promise it does not matter. As long as he has you lying on his chest, he will cuddle you whenever he can.

Reo - gift giving

Reo’s mindset is that he has money, so he might as well spend it on you. Every week you end up with a new piece of jewelry and a bouquet of flowers. You insist that he doesn’t have to buy you so many gifts all the time, and it makes people think you’re only with him for his money, which you’re not.

“Don’t worry about what others are saying, I know you love me. Besides, I can spend my money on whatever I choose.”

Whenever you two go out, he swipes his card like crazy, buying anything that you seem even the littlest bit interested in. Now you guys are walking out of the mall, him carrying 7 bags of whatever with a satisfied smile on his face.

Reo always treats you out to breakfast, lunch, and dinner at the most expensive places. And he buys you little trinkets from wherever he travels so you always have something to remind you of him.

“You are the best so you deserve the best.”

[chrisevansonly]

𝐀 𝐊𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: you love your boyfriend really you do, but you also love cats…and a little kitten managed to steal your attention away from you very clingy lando..

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: no warnings just fluffy

𝐚/𝐧: this was self indulgent, i just wanted fluff and idk i feel so shitty and nasty about myself and i needed fluffy lando goodness

Off season was in full swing which meant you and Lando were back in London together for a few weeks before you took off on your travel adventures. It was nice to have some quality time with your favourite boy in the world, and the first thing on your list was groceries.

Lando as usual let you do the shopping as he dotted on you, his hand in yours, on your waist or wrapped around you as you reached for your favourite cereal

“Lan you really aren’t being much help..”

“Mhm I am.”

“So you wrapping yourself around me like a koala is helping?”

He smiled into your neck, leaving a few kisses to your collarbone

“Exactly”

“Can you at least put your arms to use and grab our cereal before you continue to squeeze me into pieces?”

You shook your head, your voice teasing as he unwrapped himself from you, reaching up and grabbing two boxes before dropping them in the kart. Letting you continue your way down the aisle, Lando of course attached back to you as you checked off your list and made your way up to check out.

Once everything was payed for and bagged you made your way to the car, putting everything in trunk of Lando’s range rover, not without a few kisses to your cheek and of course a very Lando like squeeze to your butt.

“There, now we can stop ordering take out”

“I like our takeout nights..”

Turning to see the pout on your boyfriends face you smiled, your arms wrapping around his neck as you leaned up to kiss him

“I know but now we have fresh and healthy things so I can get back to cooking…we can still have takeout on Friday’s how about that?”

Lando thought about it before nodding

“Deal, I love you”

“I love y-kitten!!”

Your arms quickly dropped making the british driver frown, moving to walk slowly towards the little grey kitten just perched next to the car beside you. It’s little eyes watching you carefully as you kneeled down

“Oh hi my love…come here it’s okay..”

The kitten moved towards you at the sound of your voice, of course keeping it soft as to not scare it away

“Hi little one”

Lando watched with a frown as you scooped up the little cat, clearly feeling a little pouty that you ditched him for the cat

“Lan look at it! It’s so small and cute!!”

“No way.”

You looked at him, your puppy dog eyes coming into effect

“Absolutely not angel, no WAY”

“But-but Lan look at him, we can’t just leave him here he’s so little!”

Lando was close to breaking, even you could see it.

“Baby we are always away, we don’t have time for a cat…”

He was right to some degree, but you were often home more than him, and worst case you could find a sitter for the cat. Your brain had begun to find a solution for every possible problem Lando could come to with.

“Please…oh lan please we-I can’t leave him here..I promise i’ll make sure I take the best care of him…”

Lando would admit the grey fluff ball was cute, and that look you had on your face was pretty sweet too, how could he say no to you, especially when you looked so happy

“Alright fine”

“Thank you thank you thank you baby!!!”

Cradling the kitten in your arms you leaned forward to press a kiss to his lips, his arms wrapping around you as he held onto you tightly

“Next thing you know I’ll be the crazy cat dad like Max”

“Max has two cats love..”

“He’s still crazy..”

Shaking your head at Lando’s dramatics you kissed him once more before walking towards your car, your new little family member happy in your arms, sound asleep. A kitten distraction is what Lando would call it, but if you’re happy, he’s happy, even if he’s starting to realize he needs to share your attention.

And he’s just not sure he’s ready to do that…

[jezabelle9299]

Make-up Birthday S.R x FEM! Reader

Overture: Spencer didn't just miss your birthday he forgot it. (Happy Ending)

C-Ws: Missed occasions, pushing down feelings for the benefit of another person, Spencer chose Gideon over you

A/N- Baby's first angst, go easy on me. And I've been in a sour mood so I have 2 other angst fics (also birthday themed), that will probably be posted sometime this week. Our regularly scheduled sap will return next week.

You weren’t a very big birthday person. Of course when you were young you had birthday parties with all of your little friends, but as time went on, things got busy. It was pushed to the side for years, until you preferred to just ignore it. Until a few weeks ago, when Spencer asked what you’d like to do to celebrate. You told him nothing was necessary, but he insisted that the two of you at least spend the day together. You let yourself get excited, you made good plans, just takeout and movie night, but that was enough. If it were anyone else you’d remind him, several times, but you knew he wouldn’t forget. He didn’t forget anything.

This morning you woke up to an empty bed, and you knew Spencer had gone to work. He had a few meetings he mentioned having to go to about their latest cases, but you weren't expecting him until this evening. The day passed you by when you got set up, but time slowed down when there was nothing to do but wait. Each second passed a little slower than the last, until you got worried. You haven't heard from Spencer all day. 

You: Hey Spence, everything ok?

Spence: I’m ok, just got caught up at work. I’ll come to your place as soon as I can. 

You: Ok, see you then

You were glad he was ok, and you knew he’d rather be with you, than at work. Something important must’ve come up, he wouldn’t miss this over nothing. But time passed with no more texts, until you resigned yourself to him just not coming. You changed from your date outfit into some comfy pajamas, and laid down in bed. You weren’t upset with Spencer, this job was important to him, and you knew he felt like he had something to prove just being there. You could celebrate another day.

It wasn't until well after nine when Gideon asked Spencer what he was still doing here, he’d mentioned weeks ago that he’d need to leave early. That’s when Spencer realized what he was missing. It wasn’t just movie night, by now he’d missed almost your entire birthday, after he’d pressed you to celebrate it at all. He rushed out as quickly as possible, but by the time he got to your place it was too late. He knocked on the door and as soon as you answered, all the apologies came pouring out. He couldn’t make himself stop until you put your hands on either side of his face making him look you in the eyes. 

“It’s ok Spence, I know how important your job is, and we can celebrate another day.”  

He leaned down to hug you, burying his face in your neck. “I’m so sorry honey, it totally slipped my mind. But I promise to make it up to you.” You pulled away from him at that. 

“Wait, what do you mean?” He just looked at you, like he was replaying what he said to figure out what he did wrong. 

“You–you forgot?” 

“I thought you knew.”

“No, I didn’t. I had this picture in my mind, like when you leave for cases, when you tell me how you wish you could be here.”

“I do wish I was here, baby. You mean the world to me.” You couldn’t keep doing this, his reassurance was breaking you down bit by bit. Sure now he wished he was there, but he didn’t even realize you were missing him. 

“I’m gonna go for a drive I think, we don’t have to celebrate another day, it’s fine.” 

“No please stay– please let me make this up to you.” His phone rang. A shrill tone cutting through, nearly making you wince.

“It’s Gideon, I have to take this. But please stay with me, I want to talk about this. It’ll only take a minute.” 

“It’s fine, I’ll talk to you tomorrow Spence, just remember to lock up when you leave ok?” You picked up your shoes and keys before you walked out, still in your pajamas. You gave him not even half of a smile, and it was breaking his heart. But he couldn’t ignore the call.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

Gideon was like a father to him, and even though he winced when the door shut behind you, quietly, as if you weren’t even upset, he still answered. There wasn’t even a case, Gideon just had a question about some evidence. Nothing would’ve happened if he didn’t answer, no one was dying, and the only one hurt was you. He couldn’t have just ignored the call, and now you were gone. 

Spencer didn’t forget anything, but somehow he forgot this. 

You weren't sure where you’d go. You decided to allow yourself one evening to be upset. To acknowledge that this whole situation sucks and honestly today your usually wonderful boyfriend kind of sucks too. You’ll feel guilty about it tomorrow, but tonight you're going to drive an hour and a half down the highway, just to turn back around so you could avoid the drunk drivers on the road when the bars close. Spencer should be gone by then, you’re sure Gideon was calling to steal your boyfriend away on a case again and you’d call him in the morning to make sure he got there ok and tell him to be safe like you always did. 

What Spencer did was important, and you couldn’t be mad at him for missing something as silly as a birthday for a work problem. But he wasn’t out saving lives like you thought. It may be selfish or overly-presumptuous about your standing in his life, but when you missed him it made you feel better to think he was missing you just as much. How he was at work thinking about how he loved you. And today was the day that illusion shattered.

You could only sob at the thought. 

By the time you got home, it was almost 1am. The redness in your eyes finally started to subside, you got too dehydrated to continue actually crying almost an hour ago, so that’s when you decided that the time for being upset over this was done. Even the puffiness in your face was going down. But when you unlocked the door, Spencer was waiting for you. 

“You’re home.” 

“You’re here. I thought you had a case.” 

“No, Gideon just had a question about some evidence, I wanted to be here when you got back.” 

“That’s sweet of you Spencer, but I just went for a quick drive. I’m kind of tired, so I think I’m just going to head to bed now, ok? But I’ll see you in the morning.” You gave him a resigned kiss on the forehead and his heart broke. He did this. And you called him Spencer, not ‘Spence’, not ‘honey’, not ‘babe’. Spencer. It never sounded so awful. 

He did all he could do, he slept on the couch and let you rest. You would be talking about this in the morning. You couldn’t shut him out forever, he loved you too much.  

The beeping of the coffee machine woke him up, his legs half hanging off your couch. He immediately got up. If the coffee machine was going off, you were awake, and you could talk about last night. 

“Honey?”

“Hi, I didn’t realize you’d stayed here last night, were you too tired to drive?”

“No, but I wanted to be here when you woke up.”

“You could've slept in my bed with me.” You were glad he didn’t. But you wanted to maintain your facade, you wanted to forgive him, and forget about everything.

“You’re upset with me, I wanted to talk to you.”

“I’m not upset.”

“You’re the love of my life and I hurt you. You don’t have to pretend to be ok with it.”

“It was one day, Spencer. It’s fine, you don’t have to sleep on the couch as penance.” You were putting on your coolest presence, but everything you said still came out as more of a mumble than it would’ve. 

“I need you to listen to me, you are the most important person in my life. I love you so much it hurts, and I can’t stand the thought of you thinking I forgot about you.” That broke your barely held together exterior of confidence.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because I need you to know that I love you, I can’t just let this go.”

“Ok fine. You made me celebrate my birthday and when you forgot anyway, it hurt my feelings. But I don’t want a makeup birthday, and I wish I could just forget about it, and I don’t understand why you want me to be mad at you.”

“I don’t want you to be mad, but when you are mad, I need you to tell me. I can’t do anything to help if I don’t know what’s going on.”

“But I don’t want you to know when I’m upset. I want to be the cool girlfriend that doesn’t get upset when her boyfriend does something by accident. You are the best boyfriend I’ve ever had and when you make one mistake about something I wouldn’t have even cared about a month ago, I can’t get over it. But I really want to get over it, so could we please just forget about it?” By this point tears were flowing down your face, but you were still wiping your face every few seconds to stop them in their tracks.

“No we can’t just forget, I think you’re the coolest girl I’ve ever met, and it’s not because you ignore your feelings whenever you think they’d be inconvenient. I want to spend the day with you if you’d be ok with it, but if you want some time alone that’s ok too.”

“I want to spend the day with you. But could we leave out the birthday theme?”

“Sure honey, whatever you want, I’m all yours.”

“You know I love you Spence, right?”

“I know, I love you too.” It was an upsetting morning, but he was still overjoyed that you called him ‘Spence’ again. He’d earned his pet name back.

“Do you really think I’m cool?” It was barely spoken into his chest, moreso whined, muffled by the fabric of his sweater vest. At this moment, you were so uncool. Yet he still kissed your forehead as he laughed. 

“The coolest.”

[gremlingottoosilly]

Lego still not sponsoring me (dark!Konig x fem!Reader)

Konig is a nerd who needs to get sprayed with water for being a fucking creep. You're an adorable cashier at the Lego Store in Berlin who doesn't know any better and is too nice to lose. He will have you. Mostly because he wants someone to do his Lego sets with.

Details count: 2922 AO3 TW and Tags: Dub-con/Non-con, age gap, size difference, kidnapping, awkward colonel Konig, nerd Konig, hurt/comfort, Konig's POV(mostly), awkward German, yandere Konig.

You didn’t want to build Millenium Falcon with him. 

You didn’t want to shower or eat, you didn’t want to do anything besides crying, and even though your tears, as he expected, were beautiful and adorable, it was kinda hard for König to take care of your mental and physical needs while he was rock hard from watching you cry so sweetly. 

König is patient, kind, and a model citizen through and through. Why are you upset? He is doing everything he can, just to make you smile! Seriously, Schatzi, the desire to make him as miserable as you possibly can doesn’t make you pretty or cute or even the least bit adorable. Good thing that he is used to feeling sad and kinda of bullied – you’re lucky he doesn’t even try to feel good anymore. Not in his destiny book to live a good life. — I brought food. 

You groan lightly, whimpering somewhere in the corner of his basement. To your justification, his basement is a bit dirty. He forgot to visit the house for months after deployment, which was never enough to fill out the blanks of loneliness in the empty rooms. His dogshits methods of choosing decorations also made the mere existence in the house a hard mission even in itself. He looked at the anime posters in the guest rooms, which made him want to sell the property to anyone willing to pay 50 Euros for the processing fees. The posters(Sword Art Online because why the hell not, he likes cool swords and a power fantasy about a loser getting the chick) and artwork of his queen and savior, The Busty Blond Lady From Fate because, unlike those waifu-obsessed freaks, he did have a life and not enough time to actually remember her name. Something about light sabers. Or cats. — Are you going to kill me? 

He sighs because you sound like a broken record. All the time – the questions about his intentions, like you can’t see the tent in his pants every time you open your eyes, about letting you go, about at least allowing you to text your family that you decided to change your country of residence and would need to revoke your German visa. You’re way more soft than he thought you’d initially be – no fighting, no arguing, just pure terror and desire to die every time his hands brush over you. König is a sweet guy, as sweet as someone like him can be – but he only has a few weeks until his next mission, and even a few days of your moping around is bound to make him not just blue-balled, but also very, extremely, offensively hot-headed. 

He spent two days with you chained up in his basement and, he thinks, that should be enough for foreplay. He is extremely generous and kind – usually, at this point, he’d already start breaking the fingers of whoever poor fuck is his torture victim for the mission. 

— I don’t want to kill you. 

You whimper – somehow, his answer didn’t calm you down. Fucking women and their inability to talk to their kidnappers – he considers spiking your food just this once, so he could have a nice session with your little drunk self and some roofies but, of course, he is a nice guy who brought you takeout in a reheatable container, with a cute plastic fork and some sparkling water in a glass, just so you won’t feel like he is making you eat some garbage. It’s good food, too – he’d love to cook like this, but the heights of his skills are runny eggs and burnt coffee. He hopes you like the Italian because it’s the most inoffensive stuff he could have brought you without resorting to pizza and cup noodles. He will never let you eat cup noodles on his watch. 

— Are you going to rape me? 

He can’t exactly say no because, as a matter of fact, pulling your cute body under his is one of his intentions. He wanted to do it since he was you in this fucking store, but, of course. saying this to a pretty girl is lame. And completely counter-productive. And would make him a villain in your eyes, even though he tries so fucking hard to be a hero. He can make you feel good if you were to just open your pretty legs for him and moan under his tongue – god knows, he wants to make you feel good. He wonders what would it take for him to please you. If he could have a full-time job at this. 

— Nein. Thought I told you already. 

— I don’t…I shouldn’t believe you. 

He shook his head, pushing the plate(he had to go out of his way to actually put the pasta from the tray to a proper plate, enjoy this, woman) towards you. You’re adorable like this – naked, trembling, a bit too weak to actually fight him over not eating anything for the past two days – you’re repeating the same conversation over and over again and König wouldn’t mind living in a groundhog day if the loop would end with his fucking you on that thin mattress each time. 

Speaking of mattresses – he needs to get you a thicker one. 

Speaking of thicker mattresses – he needs to relocate you into his bedroom as soon as possible. 

Speaking of his bedroom – he is fucking bricked. 

— If you don’t trust me, why do you ask? 

You bite your lips. He can see you’re hungry and thirsty – he doesn’t want to forcefully feed you, so, yeah, you better be very hungry very soon. He pushes the plate towards you, hoping you won’t launch it on his head. He survived worse, a 6’4 British dude in a ski mask falling on him with the speed of Brexit, but getting hit by a plate when your angry girlfriend is being an angry girlfriend is…the best thing that could ever happen to him, actually. Gott, he is miserable. 

— I…I don’t know. Don’t want to get killed. 

— I won’t kill you. 

— But you will hurt me. 

— I don’t have to do that, Liebling. 

No, he doesn’t. 

But he sees the way your plushy thighs are squeezing into that tiny corner where your mat is, your squishy body getting all shaky and trembly, your lips in a tight line with tiny blood droplets from biting on them too much – and, by his fucking god, you’re beautiful. He wants to make you wet, to make you squirm, to make you beg and cry for mercy as he pounds into the sweetness of your cunt. He wants to try you on the inside and out, lick you all over from the inside, and then make you lick your love juices from his lips. 

König knows he is hard and can’t really hide it – it’s useless now, really, he is being very nice and considerate to you. Changing your life is hard, especially with how quickly you moved to his place – like a good boyfriend, he should help you adjust. And aid you in recognizing that he is, in fact, your boyfriend and future husband. The perfect partner to ever exist. — What is it? 

— Pasta. It’s…it’s good. Should be good. He is nervous, anxious. Seeing a pretty girl in her natural habitat – a Lego store – is one thing. He was barely able to talk to you properly, especially right after his deployment, where the only female attention he ever got was Roze asking to cover her or additional female soldiers groaning in pain as he stomped them. But you…he shouldn’t be colonel around you – absolutely not. You’re soft and civilian, you’re as polite as a girl in a basement could be, and you deserve to have something nice for once in your life. Licking his lips, König gently picks up a fork and presses a small amount of pasta – rich, creamy, with some nice cheese that smells divine - -against your lips. 

You refuse.

A smart move, he could have poisoned it – so he thinks for a few seconds, staring at you like a smart girlie you are, and then – lifts his hood. If only barely, revealing his scarred chin and bruised lips. The initial swelling after getting his head bumped by a guy who was speaking like an edgy teenager in the Counter-Strike lobby was already gone by the time he managed to get you into his basement – but no amount of rest could hide all other marks from his job. 

Despite being a seasoned mercenary with hundreds of killed targets and completed objectives, he feels…insecure. You’re a nice girl, a good girl, the type that used to look at him with hatred while he was bullied at school. Hatred or pity – but you only look at him with fear, and it cements his understanding that you’re not going to give in to loving him so easily.

König sighs deeply, his lips, curved into that awkward, boyish smile that creeps on his face every time he as much as thinks about you, now transforming into a scowl as you proceed to whimper and try to get lost in the wall behind you. Like he wouldn’t be able to track your scent if you would disappear. He slowly presses his fork towards his mouth, chewing on the food – showing you that it’s not poisoned. 

He smiles again when he sees you slowly parting your lips, expecting him to feed you with less of a fuss. He’d propose something else – maybe even untying your hands and allowing you to actually for yourself, but something in your helpless state made his cock throb in his pants. God, König knows he isn’t his strongest soldier, but could he please make you less adorable? He doesn’t want to push you on your knees and make you suck on him until he whimpers, but the way you lick all of the cheese from your lips and try your best to look presentable in front of him… The process of feeding someone shouldn’t really be sexual, but König gently pushes the hair away from your face and lifts up the fork over and over, sometimes only changing to bring a glass of water to your lips. He can do this all day. Every day. Pleasing you already becomes second nature – and he spends most of his life thinking that the only thing he can take care of is his rifle and a few tortured enemies that need their teeth extracted. You require gentle handling – and he wants nothing more but to give you that. Just…a bit later. Preferably after the already came in your pussy at least two or three times and made you choke on his dick as a little thank-you gift. 

You finish eating after a short while, thanking him for bringing you a napkin to clean your lips. König gently caresses your head, enjoying the sensation of your hair under his palm – it’s like petting a cat. A soft little pet just for him and no one else – if only he could actually bring you to like him. He has a few bond activities in mind, though. — You liked it, ja? 

You lick your lips again, and his breath hitches. This is going to be hard, this is going to be impossible, it’s worse than having to work with high Krueger on a ship that made everyone feel like they were the ones doing crack in the backroom of their makeshift base. 

— I…I did. 

He pets your head again like you’re his pet – and you gently move your head to lean into his touch. Perhaps you’re dumber than he thinks. Or way smarter – a clever strategy to make him relax and nice to you without making him too suspicious. You slowly get back into your corner, but König wouldn’t have any of it – he drags you back by your arm, making you whimper and sob in his hold. It’s bad, he doesn’t want you to squirm from under him as much as you do, but…if you don’t want to be a good girl, he might as well force you to. 

You cry as he pushes you deep into the corner, his hands roaming over your body. Thank god he ripped your clothes before you woke up – now there isn’t anything protecting you from his hands, not even that adorable bra he ripped in pieces because, as much as he loved wearing a uniform with straps and buttons everywhere, he could not figure out how to take this thing off you without breaking it. The last time he was sleeping with a woman, she wore a sports bra that could be taken off easily. It’s your fault that you decided to be more girly, really. Not his. 

His hands cup your breasts roughly. Tugs and twists your nipples, a few shaky moans telling him exactly how sensitive you are – he might not have a girl in a hot minute, too busy with being the best freaking mercenary in the world, but even he knows how to take care of a pretty thing like you. Your tits fit in his hands perfectly, even more, reasons to believe you were just made for him. Not for some lame job at a Lego store counter – you should be waiting on your knees in his bedroom, with your mouth open wide and neat to fit his cock right in. With some sweet things lingering on your tongue as he bullies himself right in, getting what he deserves for protecting peace – and installing violence – while doing his job. He might not be the best freaking guy around, but he deserves something nice. 

He pinches your nipples until they’re firm and swollen, every little cry escaping from your lips is only encouraging him to proceed. Licks on the open skin of your neck until his eneve stubble makes you whimper from how sensitive you are – it should be painful, he thinks, with how bloody the little bite marks from his teeth have become. 

König marks you as thoroughly as possible, smiling each time you cry and beg for him to stop. You’re changing between bad German and good English, between loud cries and small whimpers, which he can’t determine from pleasure to pain. Not like he cares, too determined to make you cry his name – even though you probably don’t know it. All of his desires to claim you taking full power now, not listening to the way you plead with him. Whimper for him. Your skin is a clear canvas, allowing him to paint you with hickeys and marks, enjoying the little blood droplets covering your collarbones. 

— Quiet, please. Don’t…don’t move, Schatzi. I don’t want to hurt you. 

— Please, please, just…anything but… — Won’t take long. Promise. 

— I don’t want to- — Quiet. I know you don’t, Liebling. Just…Scheisse, you…fuck. 

— Stop! — Can’t. I apologize, Schatzen. Relax for me, ja?

He whispers, he whimpers, he is almost out of his mind when he can finally put his tongue on your swollen nipples. For some weird, depraved reason, he almost expects the milk to start flowing from your chest, allowing him to drink up as much as he wants. If he could get you pregnant, he might enjoy it for a few months – although having a kid on his hip isn’t as fun as it could have. He tried to babysit Hutch kids once when he brought them to base – and it was the worst fucking day of his life. Besides, little children can’t be around Legos – it's already a deal breaker for someone like him. 

Speaking of legos…

You wiggle in his grasp, as good as you can with your hands still in the handcuffs – he should give you that one, at least you aren’t just laying lifelessly in front of him. At least you’re putting up a fight. At least he doesn’t feel too bad about restraining you without proper reasoning. You lick your lips again, that cute tongue of yours going over all the bite marks. You take a deep breath, shaking in his hold. God, he can just look in your face the whole day – barely knows how to handle himself around you. — I…I thought you wanted to…build this set with me? Smart girl. Way smarter than he gave you credit for – you know how to make him stop in his tracks and finally look at you differently. Maybe, you’re too good for him. Maybe, he doesn’t really care about that. Millennium Falcon, still sitting in the box – König hoped you’d start slowly putting it together but, seemingly, you need a bit of encouragement. The only thing that could tug him away from your breasts is the expensive set sitting just next to him. 

Might start bonding with you as well. He tugs away from your nipples with a loud pop, an obnoxiously wet sound emerging as a thin line of saliva connects your breasts and his tongue. You whimper when he smiles, that scarred face of his twisting in a huge grin. Knows he’s not the most charming person around, but it’s not like you have any choice now – not with the limited options he gave you. Like a good girl, you’d probably pick doing Lego Sets with him than taking his cock in that tight pussy of yours. He’d be satisfied with any outcome. — J…ja. I’d like that.  He has to give this one to you – you really know how to get a man going.

Bu building this insane set with him, that is.

[studiogrimm810]

Not Good For You

pairings/characters: sam winchester x gn!you, dean is barely there

summary: when sam realizes his feelings for you he gets scared and distances himself from you and you confront him about it

warnings: sexual tension, light make-out scene, self doubt

word count: 2,682

A/N: i'm thinking of doing a part two as a follow up smut scene, currently undecided but i would love to hear your thoughts!!

(edit: i made a part 2!! Good Enough)

———————

The three of you had just gotten back from the police station. The boys had used their FBI badges to get information on some disappearances around town and Sam was confident enough that he had enough information to research what they would be hunting. Dean led the way into the motel room and quickly shed off his jacket and loosened his tie. Sam followed suit, rolling up his sleeves before grabbing his computer bag and sitting at the table provided in the motel's kitchenette.

Sam calls out your name, “do you wanna help?” He asks with a small, warm smile and gesturing to a chair across from him.

“‘Course,” you go grab your own bag and pull out your laptop and notebook. You settle in across from Sam and look up to see Dean flipping through the notes that Sam made.

“I’m really thinking it’s a witch. God, I hate witches,” Dean grumbles, setting the notes back down in front of Sam.

“I’m sure you’re right, but we need to figure out its motive and pattern,” Sam sets his chin in his hand, scrolling through his laptop. You grab Sam's notes and flip through the small pages, getting a glimpse over the information.

You start your research and Dean makes a few more phone calls. Every few minutes or so, you catch Sam looking at you and you give him a small smile but he just looks back down at his laptop.

Your recent relationship with Sam has been a bit tense. When you met the brothers a year or so ago, you started to team up every now and again with them when you were working the same case, but for the past few weeks you had followed them on the road from town to town. You three worked together like a well-oiled machine and you honestly wouldn’t pass up spending more time with Sam who had become a dear friend. Although, this is the fourth case in a row you’ve worked together and it seems like Sam has been getting quieter and quieter the more you’re in his presence.

Dean, however, had been ecstatic. He very much enjoyed your company and kept asking for your help with new hunts. You wondered if this was something he ever thought to run by Sam first.

It was odd, usually there was this spark between you and Sam, you had gotten along beautifully and became quite a good team. Sam seemed to enjoy the hours of research you’d help with and the extra set of eyes to witness and make fun of Dean and his dad-humor.

There had also been this current between you two- electric and heated.

Or maybe you just imagined it.

Because the way Sam was acting now was as if you two were just stuck together for a class assignment.

And it was starting to really piss you off.

An hour or so passes before Dean mentioned getting food and left to order takeout from somewhere.

Sam had undone a few of his buttons and completely discarded his tie by now, and his hair was a little messy from how often he had been running his hands through it. The sun was starting to set and you decided to be done with research because the glare of the sun on your screen was giving you a headache. Sam's head popped up for a moment to watch your hands close the lid but he darted his look back to his own screen.

“Are you okay?” You finally blurt out, looking at him with furrowed brows and a mixed look of confusion and little hurt. His head pops back up for a moment, a little taken back. The way his mouth moves nervously and eyes leave your face makes you think he knows that you’ve picked up on his behavior.

“I’m fine,” he smiles with a small nod, unconvincingly. You sigh softly and look down for a moment before speaking again.

“I think after this hunt I’m gonna head west for a while, check out the coast,” you say, stacking your notebook and laptop to shove it back in your bag. Out of the corner of your eye, you see his face soften into his trademark puppy-dog look but he quickly fixes his face and just nods.

“Okay, yeah,” he clears his throat and closes the lid of his laptop. It’s awkward for a moment. Your hands still hold your bag as you’re leaning over from putting away your items, stuck for a moment to decide what you’re gonna do next. “I’m sorry, I’ve just been tired,” he adds, you can tell he really is sorry, but he’s still lying. 

You drop your hold on your bag and straighten your posture again. “That’s not it,” you state, wanting him to just admit whatever it is that’s going on. “You’re different and I don’t like it,” you continue, looking over his face for a reaction. He swallows and looks down, he’s thinking something deeper, clearer, but he won’t admit it. “Just tell me what’s wrong, please,” you push, knowing- hoping that he will just give in.

It’s quiet for a moment or two before he speaks again. “I think I’m just a bit burnt out from the job,” he says, packing away his own study items in his bag and standing to walk to his bed. You stand with him.

“Sam- don’t bullshit me, I know you,” you scoff, following him. He sets his bag down and spins around to you.

“You don’t know me and I don’t have to tell you everything,” he defends, “You're just a friend helping us out with a few cases, I don’t owe you anything,” he bites, you can tell his heart is pounding from the way his shoulders rise and fall with each breath. You take a step back, not used to this behavior from Sam.

You don’t know what to say. His words cut through your chest like a knife and you feel furious. You look over his face for any hint of an explanation for this behavior because you had never seen him like this before, he had always openly and readily shared his thoughts or feelings. The both of you have had numerous meaningful conversations in the past so you don't understand why he’s lashing out like this.

“Sam-“ you’re at a loss for words, hurt by his outburst, you’re not sure if you should give into your own anger and argue back or try to stay calm and talk him down. Sam lets out a huff of heavy air, closing his eyes and letting his shoulders slump. He runs a hand through his still messy hair. You try to ignore the way his hair, worn-in shirt, and panting frustration make him look and really, if his anger wasn’t directed at you, it would be a lot harder to contain your thoughts.

“Sam, you can talk to me,” you settle for calm coaxing, knowing your own burst of anger won’t help anybody right now. He turns to pace to the other side of the motel room, you just watch him. You can tell he’s trying to gather his thoughts which seem to be spilled everywhere like an annoying red wine, staining his mind- overcoming him completely. He stops for a moment and you can tell he’s just about come up with something to say.

“It’s complicated,” he sounds so defeated as he follows his words with your name, addressing you completely as his eyes meet your own. You would never understand how such a tall, broad, strong man could sometimes look so beautifully pitiful when overwhelmed with emotion just as he is now. Somehow, even when having a good difference of height over you, he’s found a way to look up at you.

“Take your time,” you say without missing a beat, trying to reassure him that you’re there for him. He’s quiet again and for a second his eyes dip down to your lips or neck, or maybe both. You take a few steps closer, showing him again that you’re here for him. “Something is up with you and I just want to help. Is it me? I know I’ve been around a lot lately and-“

“No, no. It’s not you,” he takes an instinctive step forward, “you’re never the problem.” He shakes his head softly, his gaze has altered slowly over the past few moments and now he’s looking back down on you, a look you’re more used to seeing from him. He’s gathered himself again- well, his confidence at least- because his hand reaches up in a gentle fist to let his thumb caress your cheek.

You’re stunned for a moment, not used to such a ginger and intimate touch from him. Your brows furrow slightly and you tilt your head, not meaning to lean into his hold more but not complaining.

His eyes search your face again and this time you can discern when he’s looking at your lips or neck or eyes. There’s a triad of emotion going on in his eyes but you don’t think you could list which three. They’ve clouded his vision and absorbed the previous stain, funneling it all through to his own lips but instead of speaking, he swiftly opens the span of his fist to hook his fingertips at the catch of your neck and pull you up to him. You’re so taken off guard at the quick movement that you stumble but his other hand is quick to press to your lower back and steady you against his hold, engulfing you completely.

Your hands were lifted in surprise but now idle as you melt into him, letting him support your balance fully. His hand slips back a bit into your hair and ever so slightly twists around a strand. The taste of him alone is enough to short-circuit your mind but the independent touches of his hands on your body and his chest pressed to yours make you weak.

He’s giving his all into this kiss- the good, the bad, the anger and the pain.

As your lips unlock you hold back a whine of discontent and he rests his forehead on yours, caressing your cheek with his thumb and his eyes still closed.

He’s so warm, all you can really focus on is how warm he is.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, his face overlaid with pain. You pull back enough to look up at him.

“Why are you apologizing?” You ask, still a little dizzy and probably a lot flushed.

“I can’t do this to you,” he mutters and lets go of you completely, taking a step back. Cold air quickly wraps around you and you really want him to hold you again.

“What are you talking about?” You ask, taking a step closer to him but he matches your dance and backs up in sync and that hurts. “Sam-” you call softly, trying to get him to look at you again.

“I shouldn’t have kissed you,” he shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair again. “I can’t do this to you,” he scoffs as if seeing himself as a joke. He sits on the edge of his bed and you just stand for a minute, completely confused.

“Talk to me, Sam,” you plead softly, sitting beside him and you’re relieved when he doesn’t move away or tense up.

“I can’t do this to you,” he repeats and the tone in his voice makes it seem like he thinks it will answer all of your questions if he says it enough.

“Do what?” You push.

“I just can’t,” his eyes squeeze closed in ignorant pain, trying to avoid your gaze and forget everything he’s feeling, “We can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not good for you,” he scoffs out again, finding dry humor in his own misery, “and I can’t be selfish with you. The life you and I live is dangerous, but together it’s damn near suicidal. I can’t do that to you, I can’t put you in danger- I’m not safe for you,” he says, voice thick with emotion and packed with a thousand more unspoken words- words that quite frankly wouldn’t do him justice. “I’m so sorry.” He peppers your name a few times through his raw explanation and each time he addresses you it makes your stomach flutter and refills the rosy flush on your cheeks. Honestly, you could smack him for kissing you like that just to apologize and speak of it as if it were a mistake.

“How long have you felt like this?” His admittance of feelings for you makes complete sense when paired with his distancing from you, as much as you hate to admit, you understand.

“I’ve always known I’m bad for the people around me,” his words break your heart, he really thinks that? “I’ve accepted that but I can’t let you get caught up in our mess,” he means Dean too.

“Sam, everyone has a mess, and you are not bad for the people around you,” you state, believing every word. He shakes his head with a small scoff, immediately brushing you off. “No, Sam, listen to me,” you grab his hand and squeeze it gently, his eyes drag to your grip and his face softens. “You are good. You are kind and generous and you have a good heart and good intentions. You aren’t bad for the people around you, you protect and love and care for your people and it shows,” you can tell he’s listening to and battling your words in his wine-stained mind, a mess you can’t even imagine, “I know that the life we lead isn’t a damn picnic and I also know that maybe it isn’t the smartest idea but what I do know is that if we have a chance to make ourselves happier then we’re idiots if we give that up.”

You let him absorb every thought at his own pace, the quiet like a blanket of comfort for you both.

He finally looks back up at you, every inch of his face showcasing the internal battle he’s having with himself.

“This isn’t smart,” he agrees with a small shake of his head, his eyes betraying him as they dip back down to your lips, hungry and needy. Fucking needy.

“We don’t always have to be, Sam,” you challenge softly, hoping to god that he’ll just give in and hold you and kiss you like that again.

His chest heaves softly, already panting- so fucking needy. The glint in his eyes show what you might as well call fear- of losing you and of having you.

His free hand grabs your chin gently but forcefully leads you to him, his warm lips taking yours again in a soft, sweet, terrifying battle of what-if’s and worst-cases. You grip his hand tighter and use the leverage to climb over top of him to get a batter angle, straddling his lap. His hands land on your hips and his fingers dig just enough to make you tremble at his grip. One hand remains as the other runs up your back and into your hair again, more forceful than your first kiss and way more intoxicating.

Your hands cup his jaw, guiding him along with your lips. He gets to guide your bodies, pressed close and sensual, but when it comes to his sweet mouth you take lead. You can tell your own forcefulness on him makes him feel weak by the sounds that escaped his and your collided lips.

He pulls back for a moment to get a good look at you, hair messy, lips puffy and cheeks flushed. He quickly lifts you and places you on your back on the bed. “I warned you,” he murmured, crawling back over you and letting his hand cup your neck again- a ghost of his previous hold.

To be fair, he really did warn you.

———————

thank you so much for reading!! <3

>pictures are not my own, i have the originals linked here (pinterest) >>check out my other works here

[soapsbaby]

Goodbyes

Summary: How you and your CoD partner would spend the last day and night before they have to go off on a mission.

Characters: Simon “Ghost” Riley, Johnny “Soap” MacTavish, König, Kyle “Gaz” Garrick, Alejandro Vargas, Rodolfo “Rudy” Parra, John Price, Valeria Garza, all x gn!reader Rating: SFW Themes: Angst, sadness, softness, no warnings needed Word count: 1300ish

Ghost

He’ll try to push you away, as if that would make it easier for both of you.

Once he can tell that he just makes you upset, he apologizes and makes sure the two of you get to do whatever you want to, usually you prefer to just get takeout with him, stay in bed and cuddle.

To him it’d be easier to not do that, it makes him miss you even more, but he does it for your sake. He knows that if something bad happens to him that you’ll be the one who suffers most, so he makes sure your feelings are prioritized.

He makes sure to say goodbye to you at night so he doesn’t have to wake you up in the morning and make leaving even harder on his part. He tries to be stoic about it but he hates every second of it, especially if you fall asleep on top of him and he has to gently shove you off and then just leave you behind.

Soap

He will absolutely not leave your side at all, trying to make the most out of your last hours together. No matter where you go, he’ll have a hand around your waist, is constantly kissing you and showering you in affection.

He tries his very best to be as cheerful as possible even though it’s hard, but he hates seeing you worried or sad. 

Before he leaves in the morning he makes sure he has something prepared for you, he puts flowers in the kitchen for you to find, notes on the mirror. You’ll also almost always wake up to a voice message on your phone by him, telling you that he loves you and that he’ll be back as soon as possible and there’s always a suggestion on what you will do, whether he wants to take you to a fancy restaurant he heard about or some nice café.

König

He gets quiet. His anxiety almost always tells him that something terrible will happen to either you or him once he leaves and the thoughts slowly drive him insane until he leaves and his brain switches into work-mode.

Even though he doesn’t really talk to you about it, you can tell that it bothers him and so usually you are the one trying your best to cheer him up. It also helps when you plan things you will do after he comes back and not even let the possibility that he might get hurt become an option. Oh, it’ll be just a week until you’re back, I might as well book the cinema tickets right now, right? 

He has a hard time expressing it, but he is eternally grateful for how casual you are on the outside even though you are of course freaking out as well. His job is really, really dangerous and him not coming back is always unfortunately a possibility.

He'll cuddle you to sleep and kiss you in the mornings, softly telling you that he loves you.

Price

He always makes sure to treat you to a nice dinner before he leaves, to leave a good impression, as he puts it. This can mean that you go to a nice, upscale restaurant, but he also loves cooking at home for you. He loves providing for you in general but the days before missions are the ones where he goes all out, going to the market for the fanciest ingredients and making sure you have an appetizer, main course, dessert and whichever expensive wine fits the meal the most.

He’s usually in good spirits before missions and not too worried about his wellbeing which rubs off on you. He is confident that nothing will happen, so you are too. 

You get up with him so you can have an early breakfast and spend some time talking before he has to leave.

Gaz

It hits him so much harder than it hits you. Not even because he is afraid that something will happen to him when he’s gone, just because he hates being apart from you for so long. 

If he got his way you’d just spend all day in bed, his face buried against your chest and rubbing his back but you usually try to at least get him out of the house a little bit, go for a walk or grab a coffee somewhere.

He is always affectionate but those days you won’t be able to get rid of him, not that you want to. He just needs as much reassurance as you can give him.

He really struggles getting out of bed in the morning, usually he’ll roll over to you again and kiss you awake, telling you he doesn’t want to leave and how much rather he’d stay with you. It doesn’t matter whether he has to leave earlier than you, usually you`ll get ready with him, giving him as many hugs and kisses in the process and sending him off with a smile. He doesn't have to know that you break down once he has left.

Rudy

The day before is always reserved for a family party, a barbecue or some other get together. He goes away often so not his entire family will come over every time but there’ll always be someone there. His family is incredibly important to him and he also feels much more secure knowing that you have a good relationship with them so you are taken care of if something were to happen to him. 

Once it becomes evening, though, he will make sure that he can focus on you and you only. Usually you won’t do anything “special” but he makes sure to take his time to talk to you, to make sure you are alright and that there is nothing on your mind that you are not telling him. There is nothing more important to him than clear communication and making sure he is on good terms with all of the people he loves before leaving for a mission.

You’ll fall asleep in his arms and wake up the same way, he would never leave before saying goodbye to you. Usually you’re still sleepy and he’ll kiss you goodbye, tuck you back in and let you keep sleeping.

Alejandro

He tries his very best to be as casual before missions as he can, going through his regular schedule and not to make too big of a deal out of it, but you can tell that he is giving you more affection than usual, being a little more touchy and telling you how much he loves you even more than he does otherwise. 

He’ll make sure that everything is taken care of before he’s gone, taking you grocery shopping before and stocking up on everything that you might need. He also makes sure you pick up extra on some items to make the time easier for yourself, a good book, some snacks, maybe a bottle of wine. 

He is a true romantic at heart but he keeps the special dates and occasions away from your last days, it feels like bad karma otherwise.

He’ll make sure you are comfortable getting to sleep and that he has told you a million times that he adores you, that he’ll be back so soon and that you don’t have to worry one bit.

Valeria

She tries so, so very hard not to show it, but she is terrified every time she leaves that it will be the last time she gets to see you. Hell, she might not even get hurt but she might get caught and go to jail for the rest of her life.

She always makes sure that she has her affairs in order before she leaves, makes sure that you have access to everything you need so you can get away safely and not be punished for your connection to her. 

She’ll be extra affectionate, making sure that you know that she loves you and also making a point that she would never be mad at you for denying any connection you have to her if she gets into legal trouble. 

She treats every goodbye like it might be your last one, kissing you like she never gets to again and spending the entire night holding you. 

[poppadom0912]

Jay’s Masterplan

Summary: 5 times Jay's plans failed and 1 time it kind of worked out.

A/N: @desimarie12 who asked for a part two of Sylvie’s Masterplan. But, this can also be read as a standalone. I changed and expanded on your idea a lot. I got a little carried away and wrote 3.7k words

I’ve got a few more asks in my inbox left to finish for this 1k celebration so they’ll be coming out very slowly by the end of this week. I’m considering this to be part of it. I hope you enjoy!!

🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐

1.

It had been two days since your birthday, two days since Sylvie had been incredibly sneaky and achieved one of her biggest accomplishments in life: getting you and jay to finally go on a date.

Said date was today and the past two days had been filled with nothing but anticipation and excitement and endless teasing and cheesy smiles from your sister who seemed as happy as you.

Jay claimed that he had everything under control. He was going to take you out and he would be in charge of everything. You had nothing to worry about – he insisted.

Your first date was going to be perfect.

Sylvie came over to help you get ready. She sat cross legged on your bed as you skimmed your closet and the possible dresses to wear, giving her input when needed. She helped do your hair when time was running out and you were close to running the risk of being late.

Then the doorbell rang and before you could worry any further, she was pushing you out the door, quelling all your worries with the promise that she would clean up the mess that was your bedroom before she went back home.

You didn’t miss the sly smirk on her face when you opened the door, and Jay couldn’t take his eyes off you.

“Be good and have fun kids! Make sure you use protection!” Sylvie smiled, waving you off like a mother.

You could hear her cackles after you let out a weird, almost unattractive noise, embarrassed at her words. “Sylvie!”

“I’m so sorry about her, she’s…”

“She’s being Sylvie.”

Jay was very chivalrous, opening the car door for you before he got in himself. The entire car ride had been filled with comfortable chatter and your pre-date jitters had started to die down.

His story was suddenly cut off by a traffic jam. Cars were beeping and drivers were shouting out each other. You had to roll your window to try understand what was happening.

You heard the words 9-1-1 and ambulance being shouted by numerous voices and both of you were already getting out, sharing a quick glance, exchanging no words.

You followed Jay towards the crushed cars, the smoke piling up was now a cause for concern.

"Ma'am, are you okay?" Jay asked a woman who was stumbling out her car. She held her bloodied head and tripped over her feet disorientated.

"Come with me please. I'm a nurse, I can check you out." You said, moving towards the woman, offering an arm for her to hold onto which she did without question.

Leading her towards the pavement, you looked back at Jay whose eyes hadn't left you, making sure you were safe and had everything under control.

Smiling, you nodded slightly, giving him all the assurance he needed to leave you and do his own thing.

🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐

2.

So the first date was a bit of a flop.

You ended up going to the hospital with one of the victims involved in the crash and at the end of the night, it had gotten too late to continue with Jay's original plans.

All that was possible was a small takeout at you apartment. In your opinion, this had been one of your most memorable first dates ever.

But, Jay wasn't satisfied. He was committed to taking you out on a proper date, he wasn't taking no for an answer.

It was now two weeks later, both your afternoons lining up together perfectly.

Due to a small timing problem, you would be meeting Jay at the park. He had to sort something out at work really quickly but that gave you enough time to set everything up to your exact preferences.

You knew Jay would have wanted more of a say in the set up but you wanted to contribute something. You brought a cute picnic blanket and a few small foods to nibble on.

Bored, you started picking on the mini charcuterie board you made, eating the cracker as you surveyed the park.

It was nice and peaceful. All the kids were in school, most people at work and only a few people were in the park, walking their dogs or going for a quick midday run.

All of a sudden, you were brought out your reverie by a light tapping on your shoulder. Looking over, you saw a small chubby hand retreating from your shoulder.

Following it, you found yourself looking at a child who couldn't be any older than two.

"Hello." You smiled softly at the little girl, her hair in two small pigtails that held just enough hair to tie up, the tiniest purple trainers and the cutest dungarees. "Honey are you lost?"

She shook her head, her finger pointing at the cracker in your hand. "I have cracker please?"

You swooned, internally aweing and cooing at her voice. Despite being a labour and delivery nurse, you could never get over your baby fever.

"Oh! You want a cracker?" You replied, already picking up a cracker to give to her which she took with the cheekiest smile on her face, her dimples almost blinding you.

"Thank you! Thank you!" Her pronunciation was slightly off but that only made her cuter.

Without any further prompting, she sat opposite you, her legs crossed as she started to eat.

You were so confused and caught up in this little girl that you hadn't seen Jay entering the park. You unfortunately missed the moment his face lit up the second he noticed you.

Walking towards you, his smile slowly turned into a confused frown as he caught sight of the toddler sitting with you.

"Sylvie never mentioned you were a mum."

You jumped, head whipping up to look at him in alarm. "Jay! Hey!"

You stood up, wrapping him in a quick hug and pressing a light kiss on his cheek before pulling away to look down at the toddler who was now on her second cracker.

"Yeah I have no idea where she came from but she asked very politely for some crackers." You said, your smile soft as watched her take a grape.

"No parents in sight?" Jay asked. Both of your eyes were stuck on her as if hypnotised.

"Literally no one is here but us Jay." You rolled your eyes, pointing out the obvious. "She literally appeared out of thin air."

"Cool." Jay hummed, nodding as if it was completely normal to have a random child come up to you and start eating your food.

You sighed wistfully, sitting back down in your spot, the little girl looking up as you did so.

"Is it yummy?" You asked, unable to stop yourself from smiling at the way her head titled to the side.

"Yes, yummy!" She nodded eagerly. "Thank you!"

"Your welcome darling." Gosh you were so gone for her and Jay took notice of how captivated you were of her.

"Gosh I just want to eat her." You said in an almost aggressive manner.

Jay totally didn't feel anything watching how you interacted with her. His heart definitely wasn't going all soft and gooey, his mind definitely wasn't wandering.

For a split second, Jay could envision a future with you.

🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐

3.

Third times a charm, at least that's what they say.

The two previous attempts of a first date hadn't been very successful. Your last date almost was, you didn't mind the company of the toddler but her parents needed to be found, a task that took over two hours.

Todays date was fool proof. Nothing, and Jay guaranteed it this time, nothing was going to go wrong.

On both of your days off, you both decided on lunch again. This time, unlike the past two, you were successfully able to sit and eat an entire meal without anything going awry.

Just like Jay said, nothing had gone wrong and it was almost the perfect first date.

The only thing left to make this perfect would be-

Gunshots.

Wait, that wasn't right. Gunshots were the opposite of perfection, they would ruin everything.

Gunshots?

Screams echoed in the distance and instantly, Jay was running, his hand tightening its grip around yours.

You mentally cursed yourself for choosing to wear heels.

Jay was shouting some words down his radio that he conveniently carried on him at all times. You could recognise him calling his team for backup.

Turning the corner, you were almost away from the direction of the shooting when all of a sudden, something whizzed past you and Jay groaned.

"Oh my God!" You reacted on instinct.

With the hand still holding his, you pulled him towards you and immediately inspected and gingerly held his bleeding bicep.

"Okay good, you'll be fine, it's just a graze." You sighed in relief as you took off your cardigan, wrapping it around the wound, ignoring Jay asking for you not to ruin such a nice pattern.

"I'll be fine, I can wait for an ambo-"

Jay stopped himself when you looked up at him deadpanned, mouth closing as he petulantly let you tighten up your knot.

"I'm the professional here Jay Halstead so you listen to me." You didn't break eye contact as you tightened it even more to the point that he let out a miniscule wince. "Just wait till I tell your brother about this."

"Wait, Y/N, you don't have to tell Will. Don't tell him please."

🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐

4.

Fourth time around, you were slowly starting to lose hope at ever having a successful first date with the man.

At this rate, you were becoming kinda desperate to the point where you were contemplating getting Sylvie involved and having her plan everything since she was clearly much better than both you and Jay combined.

You left the house with your expectations very low and you were right to have done so because not even ten minutes after leaving your house, you suddenly found yourself bagless.

The man had been so quick with it that you had no time to even react.

You weren't even surprised, just disappointed that you hadn't been holding your bag tighter. You should've known better.

Damn. Your phone was in your bag too.

Sighing, you turned around. Your destination changed now. You needed to go to the 21st precinct now.

One thing was on your side today since the walk was under ten minutes and you had worn the appropriate footwear this time too.

Entering the precinct, you smiled and waved at Trudy. You had been well acquainted with the older woman through Sylvie and Mouch.

"Hey Trudy, do you by any chance know if Jay's already left?" You asked nervously, now realising that this all could've been a waste of time if he already left to go to your date.

Trudy studied you closely, eyes squinted as she tried to figure out what was happening. "You two still haven't gone on a date yet? You want me to have a word with him Brett?"

You chuckled, appreciating her protective nature. "No it's okay but I think I was just robbed."

Trudy wasn't laughing with you. Her face dropped, eyes wide at your confession.

"Then why you standing around here for?" She huffed incredulously as she rounded her desk and started pulling you towards the Intelligence gates.

"Come on, we're going to confront lover boy."

She gave you no time to answer back as you were already in the bullpen, everyone staring at you with lots of confusion.

"Y/N, what are you doing here?" Jay asked, eyes going to the clock when a wave of fear crashed over him. "There's still twenty minutes till our reservation-"

"Brett 2.0 has been robbed." Trudy said, not wanting to waste any more time. "What a boyfriend you are huh?"

Both of you ignored that last part, everyone's eyes widening at the statement.

"Shit- are you hurt?" Jay asked, chucking his file aside and striding towards you, taking you in his arm and inspecting your body for any visible injuries.

"I'm completely fine, untouched." You assured him, taking hold of his hands to stop his unnecessary worrying. "It's just my bag - phone, wallet, keys, cards all that stuff."

"We'll find it." Jay stated, no hesitation or doubt in his words. "I'll track your phone and hopefully we'll find this man."

"We'll need another rain check." You said sadly, trying not to show too much disappointment.

"It's okay, don't worry about that." Jay shook his head.

"As long as your okay and safe - that's all that matters."

🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐

5.

The night had started off without a hitch and you were trying not to think about it too much.

This had all been very last minute. Jay had randomly called you, inviting you out to the very fancy restaurant that neither of your salaries could afford.

Apparently, he helped someone out at work and they owned the restaurant. So as a favour, they wanted to let him and a friend have a free dinner.

Jay wasn't going to pass on this opportunity, especially if he could take you on a date.

You were both dressed up the most fancily either of you had been for any of your failed attempts of dates. It was safe to say that Jay was even more attractive, if that was even possible, when he put a little extra effort in.

All your food had been ordered and your conversation had been flowing smoothly from one topic to the next. You had to cross all your fingers and toes to not jinx yourself.

Before the food could come, you quickly excused yourself to the restroom. You needed to go really quick and maybe touch up your face a little bit too.

The women's side was empty and so you wasted no time, quickly doing your business, washing your hands and fixing yourself in the very bougie mirror.

Reapplying your lip gloss and fixing a few stray hairs, you took a quick picture of yourself in the mirror, sending it to Sylvie before leaving.

As you went to pull the door handle, you recoiled, hissing and shaking your hand from the burning heat.

Hesitantly, you slowly moved your finger, wanting to touch it again really quickly to double check you weren't hallucinating.

Hissing again, your fears were confirmed. There was a fire.

Just great. This was perfect. Exactly what you wanted.

You had nothing on you to protect yourself. The shawl you brought had been taken by the hostess, the only sort of extra material you had on your person were the glasses cloth for your reading glasses.

But it wasn't nearly big enough to cover your face. It was good enough though to pull the door handle without inflicting too much damage on your hand.

Blowing out a puff of air, you psyched yourself up, bouncing a little in your heels. You had no idea how bad the fire was but either way, you had to be prepared to move.

Just as you pulled the door open, your phone started ringing. But you were already on the move now and answering the phone wasn't a part of the mini plan you just formulated.

So, like the smart individual you were, you ignored your buzzing phone and tried to make your way out of the smoke.

It was quite thick considering the time frame. You didn't think you were gone for too long but you were struggling to see through the smoke, let alone make your way through it.

Trying to keep ahold of your breath, you squinted to try make out the corridor and the walls. The restaurant was the type of fancy that all the walls were identical and in this disorientated state, it was even harder to distinguish where you were going.

You were starting to struggle with your breath, you'd have to inhale soon so you had to get out of here fast.

Tripping over your feet, you caught yourself on the wall, coincidentally another metal handle that was hot. Without thinking, you pulled your hand away and you fell to your knees.

You weren't able to overthink everything like you normally would.

Wincing, you quickly pulled yourself up and this time, you couldn't avoid breathing and inhaling the smoke. Your coughing fit was expected but that didn't make it any less pleasant.

Ignoring the tingling in your knees, you dragged yourself to stand straight, cloth back over your mouth and moving again towards any sort of exit.

"Call out!"

You paused. Did you hear that right?

"Call out!"

No, you were actually hearing it. If you had to guess, that sounded like the man your sister was deeply in love in. If it wasn't Matt that was shouting then you were truly losing it.

Deciding to risk it, you called out. "Matt?!"

There was a pause before you heard a commotion. "Y/N! Call out again!"

Stifling your coughs, you listened, calling out again as you moved towards the sound of his voice.

If it wasn't for the adrenaline flooding your veins, you would've deflated in relief at the familiar sight of the firefighter, a few men behind him who you couldn't recognise as the smoke was getting thicker.

Without any further word, Matt pulled you towards him and started escorting you away, shouting a few words at his men. "Y/N was there anyone else back there with you?"

You shook your head, coughing again. "No, it's only me."

It took a moment but as soon as you were outside, relief could've drowned you.

Despite all the beautiful fresh air, it welcomed you with an even more wonderful coughing fit.

In a blurry of motions, you found yourself being gently moved to sit down on a stretcher.

"Y/N, oh my gosh, thank goodness." You recognised Sylvie instantly without even looking. You could hear the tears wanting to escape in the thickness in her voice. "We were so scared."

Sylvie was multitasking, talking to you as she started fretting over you, checking for any visible injuries before starting to treat you for smoke inhalation.

"My hand." You rasped out when you realised she hadn't taken note of your trembling hands just yet.

"Shhh, don't talk." Sylvie gently caressed your arm before disappearing back into what you think is her ambulance.

You started blinking to get rid of the blurriness and the first thing you saw when you finally gained your somewhat clear vision was a harried looking Jay.

"Oh, hey."

"Hey you." Jay replied, a small smile that fell when he saw the breathing mask being put over your face and Sylvie beginning to bandage your hands. "Don't ever scare me like that, ever again you hear me?"

Just as you were going to reply, Jay shook his head, moving his hand back so that he wouldn't touch you. "Please, don't say anything."

The look on his face made you wish you still couldn't see properly. Looking into the smoke was less painful than looking at his face drowning in hurt.

"And don't you dare say sorry either or else this fire will be the least of your problems."

You sighed in relief, from both this newfound oxygen and from being reunited with Jay.

🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐

+1

Luckily for you, your injuries weren't too bad, just some smoke inhalation and third degree burns but you did have the stay overnight for observation.

The adrenaline was slowly starting to die down now that you were in the hospital. The room was silent and you could finally start to relax.

Before your thoughts could spiral, Jay re-entered the room, weirdly with a tray in hand.

"Don't talk, I asked Will and he advised you try not talk too much but if you must, then whisper please - for my sake."

You could only nod, your eyes trained on him as he made his way across the room towards you, placing the tray on the folding table.

As if knowing what you were going to ask him, a smile broke out on his face as he moved the little table towards you.

"Well, our date didn't go to plan, again, so I thought we'd do it here." He revealed, as he uncovered the tray of what you now knew was food from the hospital cafeteria.

"Now I know this wasn't the food we were going to have tonight but, you eat it everyday so there must be something to it." He shrugged, very smooth as he opened the individual packages.

"All the main dishes were gone but this can't be too bad."

Looking back at you, Jay was caught off guard at how you were staring at him. Despite everything that happened tonight, there was this softness and longing in your eyes that made his heart skip a beat.

The corner of your eyes were crinkling as they squinted. Even under the oxygen mask, it was so obvious that you were smiling, as bright as you did on your first failed date.

Jay wanted to make you smile that like for however long you allowed him to.

"Thank you." You whispered to him, blowing him a kiss from under the mask.

Jutting your head towards him, he didn't need any words to know what you were asking of him.

Taking off the oxygen mask and putting on the nasal canula, Jay made sure he was doing everything right, Will's words replaying in the back of his mind.

His touch was feather light, fingers much more colder than your way too warm cheeks.

"Okay so, sandwich first?" He asked, surveying the options again, waiting for your nod or shake of your head.

When you nodded, he opened the package and held it out to you so you could take a bite. Your hands were both bandaged making you incapable of doing anything yourself.

You smiled at him with your mouthful, your cheeks puffing out to express your gratitude for him.

As you chewed, he opened his own and also started to eat his dinner, alternating between feeding you and himself in comfortable silence.

This definitely wasn't what Jay had planned for your first date but it was definitely a memorable one and he wouldn't have you either way: happy and safe, well fed and content.

If this just the first date, then Jay couldn't wait for a lifetime full of them.

[johnwickb1tsch]

Okay but what if John x Y/N x Helen?

It's not a request, by the way. I just wanted to know your thoughts ❤️

My thoughts? I'm here for it @hollywoodshell . 😂

But that's such an interesting idea! And maybe tricky too! It's really hard to imagine someone catching John's eye while he's married to Helen though. You'd almost have to have a relationship with Helen BEFORE John, lol. Like...

-What iffff you shared an apartment with Helen? We know she was a photographer. Maybe you're an artist too. You're really good friends, you always just *clicked*. Sometimes you're more than friends too...🤭

-You're probably attracted to Helen for the same reasons John is. She's so kind and creative and such a light in the dark. You're poor AF but you still bring her daisies from the street stalls when you find them, just to see her smile.

-You meet John...when someone tries to steal Helen's camera and he stops them? Or Helen really wanted shots of this cool rundown building on the waterfront to complete a series, and you refuse to let her go alone, and it just happens to be a stash house for Viggo's enterprises, and John saves you from something bad happening?

-He'd be equal parts exasperated and amused. Who are these idiots? How do they not know where they are? Helen invites him over, because she's nice like that. And he's so enchanted he accepts, obviously, out of politeness and he feels like he’s been hit by a truck by the sparkle in her eye. You on the other hand are equal parts insanely attracted to this man and thinking you both might be about to get murdered. 😆

-You make dinner or order takeout. Your apartment is a bohemian mess/nest of your mutual artwork and plants and bric-a-brac you thrifted. You eat and talk and pour drinks, and John is kind of overwhelmed by the warmth in your little space. He is not used to people like Helen and you. You are not of his world. You see that this big man with the fathomless black eyes seems scary but he’s actually pretty sweet deep down, if not quiet. 

-Does Helen make the first move on John? I kind of feel like she does. She is cosmically attracted to this man. You see it happening right before you. You’re a little jealous–of John, not Helen–but maybe also resigned. It’s not like you’re going to stand in the way, if this is what she wants. You love her too much for that petty shit. 

-She knocks your socks off when she includes you, kissing you and John in turn. You exchange a look over her with this man. Maybe a moment of silent understanding. It feels like he is very careful with both of you, like his large hands are capable of terrible things if he does not watch himself closely. 

-Maybe this isn’t the first threesome you’ve had with Helen, but as you fall asleep cuddled together with John you feel like something momentous has happened. The earth has shifted, just a little. Nothing will be the same. You’re not sure if you like it. 

-You’re both surprised when John makes breakfast for the two of you. You wake up (waaay too early) to wonderful smells coming from the kitchen. You wonder if you’ll ever see him again, when he parts with a sweet kiss for both of you, and that sad look in his beautiful dark eyes. 

-Yet, when he shows up at your door with flowers for both of you a week later, that uncertain tightness in your chest relaxes a little. Maybe this thing could be something good for all of you? Maybe it’s worth a shot…

[drowninginblox]

Back Online

Pt: 1, 2, 3

You decided to take some time for yourself.

Charles could read you like an open book, and you loved and hated him for that. When he said you had paid time off, you took it—along with Scott's motorcycle.

You didn't know where you would go but you ended up in Niagrea for a few days, just watching the falls and the people. You also spent some time off Tumblr. The last thing you needed was to be reminded of that damn post again. But the thing was, you found yourself stalking Kurt's known social media in the meantime. It got to the point where you lost sleep over year-old photos of this guy's stupid face. So on the third day, you turned off your phone altogether.

You knew it wasn't smart but you also knew that no one would call you in an emergency. You weren't an X-Men, you knew that too well. So the whole week was yours.

You ate poutine, went to a spa, ordered takeout, watched trash TV, and enjoyed the American/ Canadian border. It wasn't everything you hoped for, but it was better than lingering on everything you left. No- that was for the drive back.

When you got on Scott’s motorcycle and started back on the scenic route, you got to thinking. One step at a time. From how this whole feeling towards Kurt started, to the pinning, to the post, and now… how in every instance you could have just told him at any time. But you didn’t. And now he knows about your crippling feelings through a tumblr post of all things.

The amount of times you swore at yourself outnumbered your fingers and toes. But you continued back to the school. The good part of you wanted to say it was for the students. The bad part of you wanted to say it was because you didn’t have a passport. But the realest answer was that you couldn’t run away. You know too many people who have ran away from their problems- all of the XMen have. But what seperated you from them is that even when shit got tough, and the circumstances where stupid, you always walked towards the problem. Regardless of if it was your own or someone else’s, you always took it head on. Because even the runners get exhausted, and the hiders get paranoid. You’d rather just get it done and over with.

So when you pulled up to the school to see Kurt standing out front waiting for you, you only took a breath and walked up to him. “You’re back.” He said in disbelief. You manage to shrug “I had to.” Kurt kept his eyes on you, taking you in for everything you are. “Y/n, I want to talk to you about that-“ you chuckle, albeit awkwardly “my post? Yeah… I had a feeling.”

He can’t help but avert his gaze and hold the back of his neck while you shove your hands into your coat pockets “Liebling I-“ “Kurt,-“ you manage to say simultaneously. When the two of you realize your shared mistake, you laugh. And for a moment, it doesn’t feel like what happened happened. But when the laughter settled, and the reality edged back, you say it first “You go ahead. Please.” Kurt smiles in thanks. “Y/n, I-" He pauses momentarily to calm himself, and hopefully consider his words. "I’ve thought a lot about what happened, alongside how I reacted. And there’s something that I need to be honest with you about. I just," He stops and sighs. "I didn’t tell you because I was embarrassed and I just didn’t know it was you who made the post." The hand that rested behind his neck moved to his elbow, fiddling with the fabric of the loose sweatshirt he was wearing.

"I’m hoping that we can talk about it somewhere more private, that’s all to say if that’s alright with you.” You take that in and nod “But before we do, let me say what I wanted to. Please.” You countered. Kurt nodded. "Of course,"

You take a breath of your own and try to remember all the things you want to say. “Kurt, I am very sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I’m not that brave when it comes to telling others my... romantic feelings because, more often than not, they’re one-sided on my end. So I just- keep to myself and hope it goes away with time." You attempt to chuckle away nerves. "Obviously, that didn’t happen… and I didn’t have anyone I felt comfortable telling. I was scared it would get back to you one way or another." You huff a dry laugh. "Ironic I know," Kurt looks at you with a soft expression but you didn't quite know what was backing it. "So I thought if I shouted into the ether- nothing would happen. Even though I knew you have a Tumblr... I thought I should risk it anyway since I just needed to get it out. So I did,... and now you know.” She hesitates but decides not to take his hand

“Kurt, regardless of what happens or how you feel, know that I still want to be your friend. I understand completely if you don’t- that you need time or that you don’t want me to talk to you at all. But I hope you know that I truly care about you, Kurt," You move only to end up holding yourself. "Whether that be romantically or platonically- I care about you. So… if you want me to buzz off for leave you alone that is completely fine. I just want you to be comfortable.” You swallow down an acidic taste that you hope is pure anxiety. Kurt looks you over for a few moments. You try to meet his eyes. Time passes in this wordless exchange until Kurt offers his hand. "I think we should continue this somewhere else." He decides. You swallow again and attempt a smile with all the hope you have in this relationship- whatever it may be. "Okay." You clasp his hand, and just seconds before you two teleport, he smiles and pulls you into a hug. You manage to close your eyes as the cloud of dark smoke overtakes you.

The lingering scent of vanilla hung in the air, signaling to you that it was okay to open your eyes. You've only been inside of Kurt's room once, maybe twice, and even then it was only for fleeting moments like telling him food is ready. So you took your time taking in all the tapestries, framed photos, overflowing bookshelves, and still burning candles. "Did you leave these burning while we were talking?" You mumbled while looking around. Kurt laughed awkwardly. "Ja… dumm." He chuckles. "The Professor told me you were approaching the campus and I just had to talk with you." You look up to him. "Well, now you can talk to me." Kurt looks down at you. The urge to pull you closer or squeeze you while he has the chance is almost overwhelming. But he overcomes it.

Instead, he lets go and puts a step between you. Both are a means to not scare you and to distance themselves. “So, I know you like me, and... I don't want to lead you astray Y/n. So I’m going to be honest with you. Up until a week ago, I never considered our relationship in that way." You look away. The tightness in your throat is starting to become unbearable. "Hey, hey, hör zu, sieh mich an, meine Schöne. Denken Sie bitte nicht das Schlimmste. Look at me Y/n." He chides, taking a step forward and holding your chin. "Please, look at me. I'm not done. Hear me out okay, liebling?" You can't help but flush when you hear him say that. God damn fanfictions haunting you. "Okay," You relent. he smiles a little and moves your face so the two of you are eye to eye. "When I realized it was you, I wanted nothing else in the world but to go back in time and slap myself. I though that I lost one of the best people in my life." He brushes a thumb over your chin. "And when you left, I was lost. I didn't deserve to know whether or not you were coming back. But when the reality set in that maybe you weren't I-" he sighs and looks away for a moment before returning to your eyes. "I realized I couldn't live without you." You felt yourself get a little lighter at his admission. "Me too." You mumbled.

Kurt swallowed. His pride or nerves, he doesn't know. "Y/n, I don't know to what extent I want our relationship to be. But I know I don't want to live a life without you by my side." He lowers his hand from your chin to your own hand and interlocks your fingers. "I don't know if this will be what you want of me-"

You shake your head and holds his cheek, making Kurt tense. You hesitate but resign yourself to not pulling away. "Kurt, all I want is your happiness. I can get over my feelings. I can move on. The last thing I want is you attempting to force feelings that aren't there." His eyes get a little wide. "Y/n-" "Kurt, you are one of the kindest, most selfless people I know. You are admirable and open, loving, and- to me- you're divine." You brush a thumb over a hot cheek as his face slowly turns violet. "Kurt, you deserve only the best that the world has to offer. Do not put your happiness aside for me. Please," You assure. "Be happy in any way you want, just don't hurt yourself in the process."

Kurt blinks a few times as he processes your words. You keep your eyes on him to gauge his reaction, but other than blinking through too many emotions to properly identify and parting his lips every few seconds, there's nothing much you can do other than question if holding his face is the right thing to do right now. Eventually, he finds himself, closing his mouth and focusing back on the current moment. "Y/n," He starts but cuts himself off. He moves his hands to hold your wrists, moving your hands away from his face. All you can do is swallow and listen to whatever he needs to say. "Y/n, I am a man of many things. You know that." He smiles a little and looks down at your hands. "I'm a man of faith in things most people don't belive in, I am both fierce and cowardly in all senses of the word, and I envy the dramatics of life." He moves his hands to yours from your wrists. His hands turn your palms upwards so the closest finger that could ever be considered as his thumbs can press into your palms.

He takes them in, soft but worn- not in the same ways his are though. You find yourself looking at your own hands as well. "When I was in the circus, a woman taught me how to read palms... she couldn't read mine that well." He chuckled softly, making you giggle in return. "But, I learned how to read others." He drops your nondominant hand and looks closely at the other. "Kurt, what does this-" "Shhhh-" He hushes, looking intently at your palm. "I know I have a flair for the dramatics, but let me do this Y/n," He says before looking up to you. Realizing the proximity and the intimacy of this situation, your face heats up. But you nod for him to keep going regardless.

He smiles and returns to his work. "Now, as much as I love the novelty of this, take it all with a grain of salt....Ah! There," he points to a line closest to your fingers but top most of your palm. "This is your heart line." He explains "Or your love line..." He smiles softly as he trails the line with a finger. The ghost of the touch makes a shiver run up your back. He chuckles. "You see how long it is?" You nod. "That means that you are most likely a good lover... romantic, considerate, caring." You look back at him. "But, I don't need your palm to tell me that." He clasps his other hand around yours, encasing it with his touch. "Y/n, when you left- I didn't know what to do with myself." You look at him slightly concerned. "I was forgetting things more often than I usually do. When meetings were, when to eat, when to sleep..." A dry chuckle escaped him. "I was so worried about you that I neglected myself." You put your spare hand on top of Kurts. "Kurtis..."

He chuckles a little "You're the only person I let call me that... other than Marie." He looks into your eyes. "I was so worried that I lost you over something that I was putting up a front for..." You cocked your head a little. "What do you mean?" Kurt removes his hands from yours and takes out his phone. He finds the screenshot that started all of this. "Y/n, I have reread this post well over a dozen times before I belittled it before you. Not because I thought it was weird or something... it was so flattering. To have someone want to hold, kiss, and love me so unabashedly. Of course, I didn't know it was you... not that that is any excuse. But... You understand why I tried to play it off as a joke right?" You nod in understanding. He could not have known it was you, you made sure of it. "I guess my reaction was enough of a tell..." He smiles at you in understanding, although it comes off as bittersweet considering the situation. He puts his phone away. "Y/n, I don't see you any differently. I hope you know that, but I also want you to understand that my feelings for you have changed and I need to sort them out." You can't help but look away from him. " I won't ask what kind as to not get my hopes up, but can I at least know wether or not you're pitying me." Kurt furrows his brows and holds your cheek. "No! No, Y/n, I do not pity you or look down on you for this. Ehrlich. I just wish you trusted someone on the team to tell rather than do this." Your throat tightened. "If I did, I knew it would get back to you. One way or another." He sighs. "And this was better?"

The only sound comes from the to-and-fro flick of Kurt's tail.

He just brushes a thumb over your cheek, watching as your inner turmoil reflects through your eyes. "Just give me some time to figure this out, okay?" You glance back at him. His golden eyes soften at the understanding between the two of you. Even though you hate how everything has turned out, it's gotten you here regardless. You sigh and turn to fully look him in the eyes. "Take as much time as you need." You assure. He smiles at you, this time it's far more genuine. "Thank you." He mumbles. You nod and back away from him. All he can do is watch as you make your way to the door. You open it and turn back to him "We're still friends?" You mumble. He smiles. "Always." You return the smile and nod before leaving the room.

Finally, he can plan.

[merrybloomwrites]

The Only Way of Knowing You (Chapter 4)

Story Summary: After a chance encounter, Y/N finds herself on a series of dates with Harry Styles. She shares with him her innocence regarding physical intimacy, and he takes his responsibility in teaching her all about that very seriously.

Chapter summary: This chapter contains a night of babysitting, and a night of passionate and clumsy firsts, all of which leads to a realization for Y/N.

Word Count: 3.6K

CW: oral (f and m receiving)

AN: I made up a lot of character for this story and haven’t mentioned them since chapter one so quick reminder of the cast list. Kyra is readers sister, Brian is Kyra’s husband, Wyatt is their daughter and Jasper is their son. Also, I names Gemma’s baby Adeline for the purpose of this story.

—————-

Waking up in Harry’s bed, his arm slung lightly across your waist, just feels right. Maybe that’s why sleepovers start becoming a normal occurrence after that first spontaneous night together.

Those nights tend to be grossly domestic, the two of you making dinner together in comfy clothes followed by an evening stroll around the neighborhood. You’d started watching a new show, saving episodes in order to view them together.

While most of the time is spent with innocent fun and conversation, there’s still the physical aspect of your relationship. Kisses come easily now, from little pecks to say good morning, to make out sessions that end with you grinding in Harry’s lap or having his fingers finding places inside of you that you didn’t even know existed.

All in all, things are going very well.

It’s Wednesday evening, and you’re home alone getting your things ready for work the next morning when your phone rings. Seeing Harry on the other line, you quickly answer, greeting him with a happy, “Hi honey.”

“Hi baby, how was your day?”

That’s how it always is with him, always checking on you and wanting to know how you’re doing. It makes you feel so happy, to be so seen by him.

“My day’s been good, better now that I can hear your voice,” you answer truthfully. A few months ago you could’ve cringed at that statement, but now that you're in your first committed relationship, things like that feel natural to say.

“Well that I agree with,” he replies.

“What’s up?” You ask, sensing he has a reason for the call. While you of course spend time talking on the phone, normally you text first to make sure the other is free for a chat.

“Gemma is wondering if you and I could babysit Friday night,” he says.

“Both of us?” You question.

“Honestly, I think she just wants you because you’re experienced with your niece but thought I might get offended so she asked for the two of us,” he replies with a laugh.

“I’m sure she trusts you, but you’re her baby brother. Hard to shake the thought that you’re still just a kid. Kyra was the same way the first couple times I watched Wyatt.”

“I guess that makes sense,” he says.

“But I’m definitely in for some babysitting. Kyra and Brian took the kids on a vacation for two weeks and I am missing kiddo time. Is it an overnight or just the evening?”

“They’re doing dinner and a show so 5 until 10 or so.”

“Sounds perfect!”

With that settled, the two of you talk for a little while longer before wishing each other a good night.

On Friday afternoon Harry picks you up and the two of you stop to grab the takeout he’d ordered.

You arrive at Gemma’s house and you’re greeted by Michal holding baby Adeline.

“Gems is just finishing her makeup, she’ll be down to give you all the instructions soon,” he says, passing the little girl to her Uncle Harry.

As promised, Gemma comes down a few minutes later, and after greeting you both she holds her daughter and begins to tell you everything you need to know for the evening.

“She gets a pouch and some banana at 6 and then she should be in the bath at about 7:30. Don’t worry about like, scrubbing her clean or anything, it’s more about routine and calming her down for bedtime. There’s a bottle in the fridge, so just throw that in the warmer. After bath make sure she’s dry. She has this rash on the back of her knees so use the ointment that’s on the changing table. I set out her jammies and her sleep sack so get her dressed and then feed her the bottle while rocking and she should fall asleep. If she fusses at all there’s dummy’s on the edge of the crib. What else?”

“I think you’ve covered it, sweetie,” Michal says, wrapping his arm around her reassuringly.

She laughs nervously and says, “Sorry, it’s my first time leaving her with anyone other than mum.”

“I completely understand,” you say. “We’re not offended that you’re a bit anxious, but I can tell you that you have nothing to worry about. We will take excellent care of your little girl.”

Soothed by your words and your confident demeanor, Gemma gives Adeline one more snuggle before passing her back to Harry and heading out the door.

The night goes smoothly, you and Harry working together to keep the little one happy. She’s a chill baby, appeased by the simplest tactics, even as bedtime nears. Just as Gemma said, she falls asleep in Harry’s arms as he feeds her the bottle and he carefully transfers her to her crib. While you wait for the parents to get home, Harry shows you some music he’s working on.

This is a newer development, him trusting you with something so personal to him, and you don’t take this trust lightly. You listen, amazed by the process of songwriting, and give your feedback when asked.

All in all, it’s a successful and easy night of babysitting. The hardest part, you admit to yourself, is watching Harry interact with his niece. Even though you try not to, your traitorous mind can’t help but imagine that this is what he’d be like if the two of you have children. So kind, and gentle, and deeply in love with them.

It makes your heart ache, and you realize that you are in love with this man. Not the Harry Styles persona that he gives to the world, but the kind, loving family man that he is at his core. This thought scares you. You’ve never felt anything like this before. So while you’re sure of your feelings, you keep them to yourself, just for now.

The next night you end up at Harry’s house. This is becoming more common, though he enjoys visiting your apartment as well, always saying that he loves how cozy it is.

But cozy as your place may be, it does not have the comfiest king sized bed ever created. Because that can only be found in Harry’s bedroom.

You’d finally gone to Le Petit Chateau after the fiasco of your last attempt, and the wait was worth it. Dinner was delicious, and you always enjoy an excuse to get dressed up. Especially when Harry is dressing up as well. He looks good in anything, of course, but you absolutely adore the way he looks in a suit.

Which is why it’s no surprise that you end up in the bedroom immediately upon arriving home. He’d driven tonight with one hand on the steering wheel, his other sliding under the fabric of your dress to rest teasingly on your upper thigh. Any pretense that the night would end innocently was gone the moment his finger slipped up just enough to run along your panties.

He’s behaved long enough for you to arrive safely at his place, kick off your shoes by the door, and make it to his room. Once inside though, there’s no holding back.

Harry sits on the end of the bed, pulling you to him and you hike up your skirt so you can straddle his thighs. The kiss is dirty, messy, your tongues sliding together as you run your hands through his soft hair. You want to feel more of him so you quickly push at his jacket. He gets the message and slides it off while you start unbuttoning his shirt.

If he’s surprised by how forward you’re being, he keeps it quiet. Once his chest is bare, you slide your fingers along the smooth skin, running them gently over the muscles. You’re addicted to the feeling, suddenly wanting more, wanting all barriers between you gone.

Suddenly, you get an idea. Something new you want to try. Something you’d always been scared of, maybe grossed out by the thought of, but with Harry it doesn’t seem so daunting.

You pull back, leaving your lips close enough to tease for a moment, and then you slide to the floor. Kneeling now, you place your hands on his thighs and look up at him through your eyelashes.

“What are you doing baby?” he asks.

“I want to try something. Is that okay?”

“Of course,” he replies, though you can see he’s still confused. He trusts you though, so when you start to unbutton his pants he doesn’t question anything, just shifts enough so you can remove the rest of his clothes. After tossing everything to the side, you look back at him, drinking in the sight of him naked in front of you.

It literally has your mouth watering, which is perfect for the activity you have in mind.

“I want to try something. Just, tell me to stop if you don’t like it. Or feel free to give tips,” you say.

“I’m sure I’m going to love whatever you do, sweetheart. Don’t stress, alright?”

“Alright,” you answer quietly. You take a deep breath, scanning Harry’s body once more before encouraging him to open his legs. Once you have enough room, you shift forward so you’re nestled between them.

You wrap your hand around his hard length, and begin to stroke him just the way he taught you. After a moment you take a deep breath. You hesitate a little longer but when you see Harry’s kind eyes watching you curiously, you get the last bit of bravery you need.

Leaning in, you finally open your mouth. You lightly lick the tip of Harry’s cock, and he shouts, “Fuck, baby!” You’re sure it’s a cry of pleasure, but you glance up just to make sure.

“Do that again, love,” he says. You follow his direction and then move to lick the rest of his dick, exploring him with just your tongue. After you spend some time doing that, you open your mouth wider, engulfing the tip in your mouth.

Harry groans as you do this, clearly enjoying your ministrations. You try to take more of him in your mouth, going as far as you can but Harry stops you, saying, “Don’t try to take all of me. Use your hand for the bottom.”

You pull back slightly, wrapping your hand around his base.

“That’s so good, sweetheart. Just like that,” he says, and you're delighted to hear he’s starting to sound breathless. You concentrate on the tip for a moment before swallowing him down again and he cries out. His hips thrust up, before he quickly pulls away. You gasp a breath and he cups your cheeks saying, “So sorry, didn’t mean to choke you. You okay?”

“I’m okay.”

“You’re doing so good. You feel amazing,” he says, and you preen at the compliment. Having caught your breath, you go back to what you were doing, and can tell Harry is quickly approaching his orgasm. He warns you that he’s about to come and you pull your mouth off, now using just your hand. You’re not quite ready for him to finish in your mouth, but he doesn’t seem to mind.

You continue to stroke him, twisting just right and sending him over the edge. He moans loudly as his cock twitches and spurts lines of cum that land on your hand and drip down your wrist. You work him through his orgasm and pull away when he hisses in sensitivity. You look at the liquid on your hand, and after debating for a moment you bring it up to your mouth and take a tentative lick.

“Fuck,” Harry says and his cock gives a halfhearted twitch against his leg. “You have no idea how hot you are. And that mouth is absolutely sinful. Can’t believe you’ve never done that before.”

“So it was good?” you ask, leaning into the hand that Harry has gently cupped on your cheek.

“I was bloody fantastic. C’mon, let's get you off the floor. Are your knees okay? Not too sore? And your jaw, does it feel alright?”

“I’m fine, Harry,” you answer with a laugh. He grabs a shirt off the floor and uses it to clean your hand and then helps you onto the bed.

“Lay down, baby, let me take care of you now. Say thank you for that fucking perfect blowie.”

You lay down and blush at his words, hiding your face in your hands, but he’s having none of that. He gently moves them out of the way and leans in to kiss you. You go pliant under him, letting him lead the kiss and just enjoying the feeling. His tongue swirls around yours, making you dizzy with pleasure.

He begins to kiss a trail down your body, starting with your cheeks, going down to your neck and then your cleavage. You arch your back, pushing your chest out and he plays with the strap of your dress.

“May I?” he asks, and you quickly nod, too intrigued by what is going to happen next to be self conscious. He lowers the straps of your dress, bringing down the fabric until your whole chest is revealed to him. He begins kissing there as well, before swirling his tongue around a nipple. He sucks it into his mouth, and it’s an odd sensation, but definitely a good one. He does the same on the other side before pulling away and moving lower.

He kneels on the bed in between your legs and asks, “Can I eat you out?”

“Excuse me?” You ask, unsure of what he means.

He chuckles at your confusion and then says, “Can I go down on you?”

When it’s obvious that you still don’t know what he means, Harry crawls back up so he’s hovering on top of you. His lips brush against your ear and he murmurs, “May I please lick your pussy until you come?”

“That’s a thing?” You practically shout and Harry barks out a laugh.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh. You’re just too cute. And how do you know what blowjobs are, and how to give an excellent one I might add, and not realize that women can get pleasure from another person's mouth as well?”

“I mean, logically blowjobs make sense. It’s the same concept as sex. Like, they stimulate in the same way. But I don’t understand how a woman can be stimulated with a mouth. It’s way different than sex.”

“It is different. But still good in its own unique way. Can I show you? Obviously we won’t if you’re uncomfortable or don’t want to. But I think you’ll be surprised,” he says.

“You don’t think it’s gross?” You ask. You know what it looks like down there, and can’t imagine why someone would want to put their mouth there. Granted you’d always thought the same thing about penises, but it seemed less icky when it was Harry.

“It’s not gross at all. Nothing about you could ever be gross.”

“Okay,” you say a moment later.

“Okay?”

“Yea. We can try it. What uhm, what do I do?”

“You just lay back and look pretty. Let me take care of you and make you feel good. And as always, if you want me to stop just tell me and we stop right away.”

Following his directions, and trying to not get too in your own head, you lay back on the pillows. He goes back to kissing you, his mouth moving against yours before traveling down your chest once again. You try to get lost in the feeling and let yourself enjoy what he’s doing, but you can’t get comfortable.

Realizing it’s your dress that’s bothering you and you push Harry back gently.

“What’s wrong?” He asks.

“My dress is pinching me.” You answer. Harry is there, kneeling between your legs, still naked, and you buck up the courage to say, “Can you help me take it off?”

“You’re sure?”

“I am,” you say, sitting up so he can get to the zipper. His hands land on your shoulders, rubbing gently along your upper back for a moment before finding the zipper. He slowly pulls it down, giving you an opportunity to stop him, but you don’t. You want this. It may be scary, being completely bare, but this is Harry. You want to be open with him.

He lifts the dress over your head and gently folds it before placing it on the ground. It warms your heart that even in this moment, he’s so careful with your belongings.

“Lay back,” he says, his hands guiding you onto the pillows once more. He gently strokes at your newly exposed tummy before placing kisses to it.

“This too?” He asks, his fingers now running along the waistband of your panties.

Resisting the urge to take a nervous breath, you reply with a confident sounding yes. He pulls them off, his eyes watching the fabric move down your legs, not immediately looking at your now bare genitals.

There’s a moment of nervous anticipation before he finally looks at the most private part of your body. Before your anxiety rises he says, “Beautiful. You’re absolutely perfect.”

Your entire body heats up at the compliment, and you resist the urge to hide your face behind your hands. As though reading your mind, Harry says, “No point in getting all bashful, you’re going to be hearing compliments like that from me all the time. Better get used to it.”

“I think I can live with that.”

“Good. Now let me work, you’ve never experienced the joy of being eaten out and I plan to remedy that.”

You can’t help but giggle at his statement, still loving how casual and fun he makes all of this feel, rather than serious and intimidating. All thoughts leave your mind, however, when his kisses move to your inner thighs, his breath ghosting over your overheated core and making you shiver.

When his lips wrap about your clit, you arch off the bed and shout out in pleasure and surprise. You’d thought the friction of him rubbing there felt good, but this wet, hot suction? Possibly the best thing you’ve ever experienced in your life.

He then moves his tongue through your folds, lapping at your wetness in a way that should be gross, but is truly so incredibly hot. He switches between licking and sucking, greatly enjoying himself if the noises he’s making are anything to go by.

And then he sticks his tongue inside you. And it’s game over. His nose is angled just perfectly on your clit, and his tongue gives you just the right stimulation to have you seeing stars. More wetness gushes out as you ride out your orgasm, and Harry doesn’t hesitate to lap up all of your juices.

He sponges kisses all over your body while you catch your breath before finally coming up to hover over you, his eyes meeting yours.

“How was that?” he asks.

“That was…wow…it was-” you cut yourself off, truly unable to form words to describe the experience.

“That good huh?” he says cockily and you both laugh together.

“It was. It was that good, Harry,” you say once you’re able to say a full sentence.

“Wanna take a bath with me?” is his next question.

“Obviously I do,” you answer, and he kisses you quickly before jumping out of bed and going into the attached bathroom.

He comes back after a minute and picks you up, cradling you in his arms as he carries you to the tub that’s now full with warm bubbly water. Harry places you in before sliding behind you and you lean back against him.

It’s relaxing, few words spoken as you rest together and clean each other up. When the water turns cool Harry gets out to grab towels and robes for each of you. He helps you stand and dries you off before helping you into a robe. You stand together in the bathroom brushing teeth and washing faces before going back into the bedroom.

“Would you like to borrow some pajamas?” he asks.

You hesitate, trying to decide what you want. Normally you’d immediately answer yes, but being completely naked alongside him earlier had felt so nice, so freeing. Part of you craves that skin to skin contact. But it’s out of character for you, and you’re not sure how he would react to that.

Deciding to not explain yourself, you simply remove your robe and climb into bed, hoping he’ll get the message. He watches you and takes off his robe as well, giving you a look as though asking if that’s what you want. You nod in reply and he gets into bed as well, laying on his back so you can tuck against his side. You rest your head on his chest and he wraps an arm around your shoulders.

You get lost in your mind, thinking about these new sexual encounters you’ve had with Harry. Up until now, nothing more than a tampon had ever entered you, and now he has. If you can feel so connected to him when it’s just his fingers or his tongue, what will he be like when it’s his cock? How close will you feel then? How good will it be to physically merge your bodies, especially when you’re so emotionally tied? You want to find the answer to these questions. Soon.

A press of lips to your head brings you out of your thoughts and you look up so you can share a kiss.

“Good night, baby,” Harry says.

“Good night,” you reply. As you drift off to sleep in Harry’s arms, you can’t help but think that it really was a good night indeed.

————

AN: Thank you for reading this chapter! Final chapter is next Friday and then my next series will be One Direction x reader (ABO pack fic)

[katsu28]

Hi! For the flower ask could I request lily of the valley with Jamie x f!reader? I was thinking something like reader revealing to Jamie that they are pregnant? If you’re not feeling that I always love a seemingly sad prompt turned happy! I also loved this prompt list and could request 100 more if you want 😂😂♥️♥️

i had such a great time with this pls request as much as you want, i would be honored to write them <3

lily of the valley: a tear, followed by a sob, jamie tartt x reader, mentions of pregnancy ofc, 1.6k

You were trying so hard not to freak out right now. 

You’d been feeling like absolute shit the past week or so, but just chalked it up to having some bad takeout, or that you’d finally caught that pesky flu that’d been going around this time of year. It wasn’t until your period hadn’t come when it was supposed to that the idea you could possibly be pregnant dawned upon you, but when it finally did, you rushed to the nearest pharmacy to buy a boatload of pregnancy tests. 

Now you were here, sat on the closed toilet lid in your bathroom, waiting until the agonizingly long five minutes were up. 

It was hard not to jump to conclusions, but god, you really were doing your best. Having a baby would change every aspect of your lives. You didn't know if you were ready for that. But you also didn't know if you weren’t ready for it. You wouldn't know unless it actually happened but if you really were pregnant, there was no taking that back. Having a baby was a forever thing. With Jamie. 

Yeah, the whole not jumping to conclusions thing really wasn’t working out very well for you this far. 

Your phone timer went off before you could dig yourself into a deeper hole and you squeezed your eyes shut when you’d made your way to the counter where the blue and white test sat, looking seemingly innocent. It seemed strange how such a tiny stick would tell you whether or not your life and Jamie’s would change forever. 

Exhaling a long, calming breath, you peeked at it with one eye, then both. 

Three lines, clear as day. Positive.

You took two more in quick succession right after just to be sure—different brands too, just to make double sure. Two more positives. You were definitely pregnant. 

How were you going to tell Jamie? He was at the height of his football career, and even though you’d been together a long while, you hadn’t even really had that huge next step conversation about starting a family. Hell, you weren’t even sure if he wanted kids—not with what he’d been through with his own father. Of course, Jamie would never turn out like his dickhead dad, but you knew he’d be worried about it. 

On the other hand, starting a family with Jamie sounded amazing. You’d get to have a kid that was a perfect blend of him and yourself, someone to love and nurture and watch grow into their own person. They’d have the best parts of Jamie, the best parts of you, and every time you’d look at them you’d get to cherish this human being you’d created together. 

The sound of the front door closing in the distance pulled you from your spiraling thoughts and you quickly hid the tests in the cupboard, splashing some water on your face. You didn’t feel normal by a long shot, but planned to act like so until you could truly process the new information. It still felt unreal. 

Jamie was rummaging around in the fridge when you finally gathered the confidence to leave the bathroom, humming to himself until he heard you enter the kitchen. “Hey, d’you know if we have any more eggs, or are we out? I could run to the shops really quick if we need stuff.” 

“Um, we should still have a few, I think,” You mumbled, trying your best to keep your voice as level as you could. You must not have done as good of a job as you wanted, because he straightened up immediately, swinging the door shut to look at you. When he saw you standing there looking less than happy, he was across the room in an instant, holding you at arms’ length to scan you for any injuries or differences in your appearance, anything that could tell him why you looked like you’d seen a ghost. 

“Whoa. What’s wrong?”

You shook your head, inhaling a deep breath before trying to force a smile. “Nothing, I’m fine, I promise I’m fine.” 

“Don’t look fine to me.” He frowned, rubbing his hands down your arms. “Looks like you’ve got something on your mind. C’mon, lemme have it. Talk to me, love.” 

You weren’t sure if it was the way he knew you so well he could tell something was off with just one look, or if it was the pregnancy hormones already kicking in (did they even kick in this early??? You couldn’t have been more than a couple weeks pregnant at this point), but you couldn’t help it. 

A tear rolled down your cheek, and before you knew it you were sobbing, burying yourself against Jamie’s chest. He mumbled a soft ‘oh fuck’ but wrapped his arms around you despite his total confusion, pressing his nose into your hair and shuffling over to the sofa so he could hold you as tight as he could. He didn’t know what the fuck was going on, but he knew whatever it was, you’d deal with it together. 

“Sorry, I just—god, I’m sorry, you’re probably tired and I’m—I’m…I don’t know.” You sniffled, wiping under your eyes with the sleeve of your jumper. You pulled away from him with a shaky sigh, putting your head in your hands. 

Jamie shook his head profusely, scrambling to kneel down in front of you. “Fuck that, why’re you cryin’?” He asked, concerned etched into his features. He took hold of your elbows, gently prying your arms away from your face so he could see you properly. “Did that cranky old sod from a few houses over come over to yell at you about the garden again? I swear to fuckin’ god—” 

“I’m pregnant.” You blurted, deciding to just rip the bandaid off and get it over with. 

Jamie’s mouth snapped shut instantly. He blinked owlishly at you. “You—wait, wait. You’re…” 

“Pregnant.”

“You’re pregnant.” He repeated, wide eyes darting down to your midriff, then back up to your gaze. “Right now? How—how long?” 

“I don’t know. Four, five weeks, maybe? I just—I know it’s not something we planned for, and—and Richmond’s doing super well and you’ve got your whole career ahead of you and I get it if you don’t wanna be saddled with a kid—” Jamie took hold of your fidgeting hands, although his were quite shaky as well. He didn’t say anything for a while, but you suspected it was more for utter shock and a lack of words rather than disappointment like the fear you’d had in the back of your head this whole time. 

“Don’t even think like that. M’not going anywhere—wouldn’t even dream about it.” He said finally, looking you right in the eye. He looked determined. Steadfast. “Whatever I have to do, whatever we have to do, I’ll do it. We’ll do it. Everything’s gonna go just fine.” 

“How are you so calm right now?” You asked quietly, running a hand through his hair. 

Jamie leaned into your touch on instinct, turning his head to kiss your palm gently. “M’not calm. Feels like my heart’s about to burst out me chest, I’m so happy. But it don't really seem like I should be yellin’ and shit right now—not til you’ve wiped those tears from your eyes.” He replied, reaching out to swipe away the tear tracks from your cheeks on his own. “Can I—can I talk to them? The baby.” 

“Sure, love.” You smiled at him warmly and he nodded, suddenly looking a little nervous as he settled himself right next to your stomach. You were pretty sure the baby was only the size of a seed right now, but the thought of Jamie wanting to talk to them made your own heart swell. You suspected it would be something he’d do throughout your entire pregnancy. 

“Erm…hi, I guess. I’m your dad. I don’t—I don’t really know what to say to you because I don’t think you’ve quite got any ears yet, but…I want you to know that I promise to always be here for you and to love you no matter what,” He murmured, rubbing his fingers against your skin. He hesitated for a few beats, and you knew he was thinking about his own father. How he never wanted to become like James. How he would never want to put your child through what he went through.

How he wanted to break the cycle and create a better one—a life filled with love and joy, never fear and resentment. 

You felt another tear roll down your cheek, and another, and then you were sniffling back another round of sobs, making Jamie’s eyes fly to your face. “Oh shit, I made your mum cry again—fuck, I ain’t supposed to say shit, ain’t I? I’ll get better at this once you get here, yeah? But until then, have fun inside your mum. I know I did.” 

That earned him a shove to the side of the head, but he still grinned, dropping a kiss to your stomach before pushing himself back to sit cross-legged next to you. “Was that good? I think I smashed it.” 

You let out a watery chuckle, dabbing at your waterline with your sleeve again. “It was perfect.” 

“Can I yell ‘bout it now?” 

“Have a go.” 

“We’re havin’ a baby! We’re havin’ a fuckin’ baby!!!” He cheered, jumping onto the couch next to you. You couldn’t stop the giggle that escaped your lips at his antics. He was happy and you’d never been so relieved to see him that way. 

Jamie pumped his fist into the air a few times before dropping to his knees and leaning in to kiss you, nearly missing your mouth in his now unleashed excitement. “I love you, darlin’. I love you with everythin’ I’ve got, and I love our kid just as much. Even if they are just a clump of cells right now. And everything that comes next, we’ll figure it out. The season, the training, all that shit, we’ll figure it out together.” 

“Together.” You echoed, giving his hand a tight squeeze.

follow @katsu-library to be notified when i post new fics :) and if you've gotten this far, feel free to take a look at the prompt lists in my nav to request something!

[sykoangels]

being relationship with deadclaws 💋

a blurb / headcannons

author notes: this is afab!reader this is also a polyamorous relationship post as well!! also this is NSFW AND SFW!

safe for work 💋

dates between both men are polar opposites. Usually, when you are on a solo date with Wade it’s something fun and silly like watching terrible movies and critiquing them or rewatching the whole adventure time series in one sitting and discussing the lore. Dates with Logan realistically are very laid back probably alcohol tasting or him teaching you about his favorite cigars and how to smoke one correctly

Mandatory movie nights every week! Each week yall get takeout from the shitty Chinese takeout down the street and watch movies from an iceberg tear-list y’all made way back before you guys dated.

Wade is a horrible chef his food is actually inedible. So Logan usually does all the cooking even though he doesn't like too.

when cuddling or sleeping the arrangement is Wade on the left Logan in the middle and you on the right. So you and Wade can sleep on Logan’s pecks and used them as pillows.

Holidays such as Christmas and Thanksgiving are always done up to the 10th degree. You and Wade love cliché ugly and itchy sweaters and a good homecooked Thanksgiving meal. Logan isn’t the biggest fan because he finds it obnoxious but he does it to make you happy especially (to stop Wade’s complaints)

For a birthday present, you got Logan alcohol you and Wade to drink since you all are younger than him (obviously above the age of 18!!). You brought him stuff like Pink Whitney and White Claws. He hated it but pretended to enjoy it because you were so happy to get it for him.

Wade’s love language is physical touch! he loves cuddling and kissing! he’s very into PDA to the point it could be compared to kids you see in high school mouth harassing each other in the hall. Honestly, you don’t mind because you can always tell him to cool down and he will.

Logan's love language is acts of service!! Even though Logan is very fierce and rugged on the outside. He always had a soft spot for you and Wade. He would do small things like give you his jacket when you’re cold or go out of his way to cut up fruit slices for you as a snack when you aren’t feeling well, sometimes he would go out of his way to buy your favorite drink from a coffee place you liked. He always constantly remembered the little things that you just say in passing and don’t think about it’s locked in his brain somewhere.

“do you know how beautiful you are bub?” Logan says just randomly (just admiring your beauty)

“If i was a Pokémon trainer you would be the main Pokémon i would use. You know like how team rocket has meowth? You would be my meowth!!” Wade says randomly (he has a weird way of complementing people)

not safe for work 💋

both men are insanely horny for you and sometimes they need you to fix it. In some instances they would both try to fight for your pleasure like a two mangy animals.

double penetration! especially after a fight

they have eiffel towered you before (iykyk)

Wade prefers late night and semi-public sex

Logan prefers sleepy morning sex or angry rough sex

Logan and Wade are both into insane levels of pain. It’s sadomasochism heaven when them.

they both have pictures of you in their wallets of in their favorite lingerie or skimpy outfit. Especially when they are away on missions.

face sitting especially with Logan while Wade is deep inside him. Logan can’t help but to nip at you as he struggles to keep it together due to Wade’s erratic thrusts

breeding 👏🏼 breeding 👏🏼 breeding (especially when Logan is in some form of heat usually around the spring / summer) He would wanna breed you and Wade simultaneously, and sometimes it happens.

“that’s it. Let’s stretch that hole out.”

“we'll make it fit”

as Wade said “pegging isn’t new for him.” It’s not new for Logan either. You pegged him on your birthday and everything changed. You had never seen him so needy and whiny before.

Wade is sometimes a cuck! He genuinely likes seeing Logan pound into you while tears of pleasure spill out your pretty eyes.

y’all have sex tapes! three of them. Wade jokes about if this mercenary / superhero? / x-men bullshit doesn’t work out they would leak them on purpose to become the next Kardashians.

“fuck~ baby your hole is pretty it’s almost like you made it for me.”

“that’s it bub.. finally using that bratty mouth to use.”

[tumblemumbler]

Don't be shy, drop some fic recs?

Ok ok, I’m always afraid to do this because I hate to forget one and then the author doesn’t get acknowledged but I will do my best. Many of these are already listed by @enigmaticxbee who has heroically compiled numerous lists of fanfic recommendations by category. Many others out here doing that work (thank you!!), so this is very much just a “some things I loved” list. Most are explicit because I love me some smut.

love you but you’re green by wtfmulder - an incredible combination of nostalgia and sex

Contact High by Penumbra - I’m new to the game here, but it’s my understanding that this is a Classic Must Read and it’s for good reason

Suncadia by SisterSpooky1013 - one of the first ones I read, a case file and a getting together story that gave me a whole range of feels and got me excited to read more x files fics

Destined Reckoning by Spark_a_Flame - an AU crossover with a Stephen King book I’ve never read, but it didn’t matter. I’m always here for some post apocalyptic Mulder and Scully

Dropped Call by Phillip_Padgett - the absolute glorious smut this human writes is unbelievable. This is one of my favorites but there are no bad choices, every story is a banger (ha. Hahaha. Sorry)

Tremors in the unshakeable ground by coppersunlight - I’m not alllll about the angst, I’m more of an occasional partaker, but this filled a deep need I didn’t know I had for some goddamn Diana Fowley accountability

Shine On by cecily_sass - every once in awhile I read something with a premise I don’t even expect to like just because I know the author is good, and this one hooked me very quickly. It’s hard to describe what is so compelling: the words, the character choices, I don’t even know, just go read it.

from this morning forward by thursdaysinspace - a charmingly realistic look at how m&s do the hard work to find their way back to each other in the revival. Sweet, sexy, and gives the characters credit for all the effort it takes to make love last.

The X Files - Slip of the Tongue by Skinfull - every week I await the new installment, like a perfect little treat the universe is giving us for being fans

Si Hoc Legere Potes, Liberaliter Educatus by Aloysia_Virgata - so many great ones from this author, but this one cracked me up and gave me some feels too. A little revival therapy

Love and Bearclaws by Edie_Rone - short, sweet, and so so cute. A perfect little vignette

Throwing Good After Bad by oohnotvery - a clever twist on a common trope of the two of them going undercover together. Twists and turns and sex, oh my!

Takeout Interruptus by lonegunga1 - you need an ao3 login for this one. Just a cute funny slice of life in early MSR

Honestly there are so many more so my sincerest apologies to the authors I have read and enjoyed and didn’t properly get into this list - the fault is in my memory not in their work. Hopefully I have left them a comment at one point so that they feel appreciated! Also, all these authors have written many good things, go down those rabbit holes it’s the best.

One bonus, which is not actually X Files at all:

The Adventure of the Lady Detective and the Writer by mldrgrl - a romance saga between Stella from The Fall and Hank Moody from Californication. I was very skeptical and now I am a complete convert, this ship is genius.

[thevegandarkelf]

Joshua "Scud" Frohmeyer SFW Alphabet

Finally finished the SFW alphabet for our favorite little stoner angel! Thank you to @dixons-sunshine for proofreading my stuff, as always, and for coming up with a couple of the points 🖤

Also, these are MY OPINION. If you don't agree with something, that's fine, but please play nice.

SFW alphabet template by @the-coldest-goodbye, dividers by @anitalenia, GIF made by me

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He’s very affectionate! He would show affection in a variety of ways, one of the big ones being physical touch. Not necessarily just sexual touching, but innocent ones too, like holding hands, brushing hair out of your eyes, touching your arm or shoulder as he walks past you, or his hand lingering on your back in a crowded room. Any excuse to put his hands on you in any capacity, he’s doing it.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend?)

Scud would be an amazing best friend. He’s super chill and laid back, so he’d be the perfect bestie to wind down with after a long day at work or a rough week. Light up a joint, order takeout, and play some video games or watch cartoons. He’s also a great listener, so if you needed a void to scream into or a shoulder to cry on, he’s there. If you needed advice, he’d offer it. Otherwise, he’d just sit there and listen.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

OH YES. This angel is a cuddle fiend. Any chance he gets, he’s clinging to you. He would prefer to be the big spoon, wrapping his arms and legs around you and nuzzling his head into your neck, burying it in your hair. If he accidentally tickled you while pulling you close to him and it elicited a reaction from you, he may go in on tickling you until you laughed so hard you cried. Sometimes, he prefers to be the little spoon or cuddle on top of you with his head in your chest. He’s at his happiest when he’s tangled up with you under the covers in bed or a blanket on the couch, basking in each other’s presence, regardless of what cuddling position you two had chosen. As long as he’s cuddling you though, he’s happy.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

When he finds the one, he would definitely want to settle down. He’d be so excited to put a ring on it that he’d hardly be able to contain himself. He’s a fairly good cook, though he doesn’t like doing it unless he absolutely has to. Once you two get together, though, he’d want to get better at it so he could cook for you more. Cleaning is a different story. He’s messy, but it’s an organized mess. It looks like chaos to you, but he knows where everything is in the chaos. He would try to be better about it for you, though, especially when you start living together.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Oh god, this one is painful to think about (and it would be painful for him to think about too). If he needed to end a relationship for any reason, it would crush him. He falls head over heels for whoever he ends up in a relationship with and would end one if it was absolutely necessary (like in the case of infidelity or his partner becoming toxic). Even if he had to, it would still hurt. I can see him getting high even more frequently to cope (this one is painful).

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Our favorite little stoner is big on commitment. When you two decide to become exclusive, he would be over the moon that you chose him to be with (which of course you did because look at him). He knows you’re incredible & wants to show you off to the world, but he doesn’t want to share you, if that makes sense. He would know very early on that you were the one, though he wouldn’t express that right away out of fear of potentially scaring you off (for thinking he’d be moving too fast), and when you got engaged, it would be one of the happiest days of his life.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He’s extremely gentle. Baby boy is a lover, and particularly with his partner, he’s gentle and tender in every capacity. He doesn’t have an aggressive bone in his body, and that’s just how you like him. He loves being soft and tender with you, and it makes him feel good to know how much you also love it. You deserve a soft, easy life, and he’s gonna do his best to help make that a reality. Some might say that means he’s “whipped,” but he doesn’t care. As long as you’re happy, he’ll happily be called “whipped” any day.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Hell yeah, he’s a hugger. He’s very physically affectionate, and that includes hugs. He’d give you hugs every chance he got, everything from the second you walked in the door after getting home or hugging you from behind while you’re cooking or brushing your teeth. He’s not just a hugger with his partner, but with his friends (and yours) as well. He’s not at all put off by being platonically physically affectionate with his male friends (he thinks the whole notion of men not hugging each other is silly). His hugs are warm, tight, and comforting, and being wrapped in his arms is one of the safest places you could be.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

When he’s into someone, he falls very hard, very fast. Not necessarily falling in love, but falling in…infatuation? He hasn’t actually been in love that many times, only once prior to meeting you (a high school relationship), so he gets nervous about possibly saying it too quickly. He’d say it once you’ve been together for a few months and is sure it wouldn’t scare you off, but he’d still be nervous. He’d be bursting at the seams to say it by the time it finally came out of his mouth.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He’s not the jealous type. He’s confident in himself & very secure in your relationship. He’d only ever get jealous for a very good reason and isn’t the type to fly off the handle at little things. If, for any reason, he did get a bit jealous, he would tell you and want to have a conversation about it. You don’t do anything that would make him jealous, though. He’s all you’ve got eyes for, and he knows that.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

This angel’s kisses are much like him—soft, gentle, and a little goofy. Sometimes, his kisses would turn into playful biting (gentle biting of course bc he’s a gentle bean). He loves to kiss you everywhere, but particularly your lips, neck (the crook of your neck because it’s nice and warm), and any part of your body that you’re insecure about. Regardless of whether it’s your chest, arms, stomach, anything, he’ll show it extra affection. Aside from on the mouth, he likes to be kissed on the forehead and on his scars.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He loves kids! He’s a kid at heart, so he gets along amazingly with them and relates to them a lot. If you two had a child/children, he’d be a top-tier dad. He’d wanna spend all of his time with his little one(s) (and you, of course) and do everything he possibly could for them. You’d insist on taking over at times, wanting to give him a break, but he’d be so over the moon to be with his kid(s) that you’d have to force him to take a break for his own sake.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

When you’re both home, mornings are slow and cozy. He’d keep you in bed for as long as possible, wrapped up around you or with you laying with your head on his chest (as we have established, he’s a cuddle fiend). When you two finally climb out of bed, he’d insist on making breakfast, whether that was something quick because you stayed in bed for too long or something that required more effort because he wanted to treat you. Sometimes, you would push to do it, as you’d want to take care of him too.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights with him as just as cozy as the mornings, if not more so. You two would often shower together, but it wouldn’t necessarily be a sexual thing. It would often be for the other intimate moments that come with showering together, like washing each other’s hair. When you were back in bed and cuddled up under the covers, you’d talk about your days, and sometimes he would light up a joint. You would fall asleep wrapped up in each other’s arms.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Scud’s very open and has no trouble expressing himself to anyone, even strangers. He has no shame & is an open book when it comes to just about anything. He couldn’t give less of a fuck about what anyone thinks of him. He’d start revealing things about himself pretty early on and would continue to do so based on how you reacted to his other statements. If he waits to reveal anything, it would be about how he got his scars & the fact that he’s a familiar. He’s not insecure about his scars by any means, but it’s one of his most personal stories, and even if you see them sooner, he’d probably save the story of how he got them for once you’ve been together for a little bit. He’d eventually open up about being a familiar once you’d been together for a while & you knew about Blade & his work.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Our angel baby is very patient on all fronts, and he’s not very easily angered. He gets frustrated, but not angry, if that makes sense. There aren’t many things that would make him angry, but an example would be someone threatening harm to one of you. He may get a little snippy after having a really bad day at the workshop, but he would quickly catch himself and apologize if he ever caught an attitude with you.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He tries to remember nearly everything you tell him. It’s important to him to remember as much as he can about you, so he does his best. He even tries to remember tiny details that you might consider insignificant, like which socks you prefer to wear when it’s extra cold outside or the exact brand of pads or tampons you buy (even though you couldn’t care less and just buy whatever is the most affordable).

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The first time the two of you say “I love you.” Whether it was during a planned romantic date, in the heat of the moment during an intimate escapade, or on a random Tuesday when you’re doing something mundane, it would be his favorite memory. He’d often think back to it when you’re sharing a romantic moment or even just lounging on the couch together with your head in his lap as he pets your hair & his eyes would get all glossed over with love.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He’s very protective of the people he cares about, and that of course includes you. However, he’s not controlling, like he doesn’t tell you what you can and can’t wear/do/hang out with, nor would he ever try because you’re your own person & he loves you the way you are. He would protect you by keeping his status as a familiar a secret. As stated earlier, he would do it until it was either necessary for you to find out or once you had been together for a while & you were acquainted with Blade & his work. He would want to be protected by you keeping his status as a familiar a secret.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He puts a lot of effort into the smallest of things because, to him, it’s the little details that make the special moments even more special. If you had an obscure favorite flower (or other plant) or a niche hobby or treat you enjoyed, he’d go through hell and high water to get his hands on it because he knows how much it would make you smile, and he’d do anything to see that smile. He’d be counting down the days to your anniversary each year, barely able to contain himself with what he has planned for you two.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Angel’s a nail-biter, for sure. Sometimes it’s an anxious habit, sometimes it’s done out of boredom. You’ll often catch him biting them absentmindedly, and when you do, you take his hand and kiss the back of his fingers. That pulls him from whatever anxious or bored trance he was stuck in, and he’d smile softly and kiss your hand in return as a silent thank you.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He’s confident, but he’s not vain. He’s only concerned with his looks as it pertains to what you think (he couldn’t give less of a fuck what anyone else thinks). If you say you like his hair a certain way or when he wears a certain shirt or accessory (cough the bandana cough), he’ll make an effort to wear it more often, especially when he knows he’s going to see you. He’d also do things like paint his nails because he thinks it looks cool, gender norms be damned. He doesn’t care.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Once he had you, he wouldn’t feel complete without you. You’re his other half, his better half, as he would say. He wants to do life and all of its ups and downs with you, and he can’t imagine doing it without you, nor does he want to. He wants to be by your side through every accomplishment & proud moment as well as every bout of depression & grief, and he wants you by his side for the same.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

I have two for this one. First, he never takes his choker off, even to shower or sleep. He wears it all the time, and if/when it breaks, he’ll do his best to fix it or find a new one if it’s beyond repair. Second, he has ADHD. He’s very fidgety, always tapping his foot, bouncing his leg, or playing with his hands/fingers any time he’s not doing something. He can ramble, and he hyperfixates on different things, one of the big ones being his inventions.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He doesn’t like fake people. He’s genuine & authentic to his core, and he expects you to be the same. He needs someone who isn’t afraid to be who they truly are, regardless of what that looks like. He also can’t stand liars. He’s honest, always, and that’s a quality his partner needs to have as well. He also hates people who are just mean for no reason. Being human is hard, so he puts forth his best effort to be kind to everyone he encounters.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

When lover boy’s in a relationship, he has trouble sleeping alone. He wants to be wrapped around his partner like a koala, nuzzling his face into your hair and holding you so close and tight that you don’t have room to roll around. Not that you would want to roll away from him, anyway. He also snores, but it’s really soft and cute, sometimes blowing strands of your hair against your neck while you sleep. It tickles every so slightly, but it doesn’t bother you.

General taglist: @raddydaddydude @lovenormandixon @angeldemoncrowley @negansbestie @holdmytesseract

© thevegandarkelf 2024-2025. I do not consent for my work to be shared, translated, adapted, posted, or copied to this site or any platform without my explicit consent & evidence of said consent.

[justmochi]

OA ENTERTAINMENT uploaded: EDEN - The Making of 'WHO AM I' Documentary

Eden rubs her eyes with her fingers, checking out her puffy face in the mirror. “Good morning,” She whispers to the camera before pointing her phone screen towards it. “It’s currently four a.m. It is going to be our very first day in the studio recording for my first mini album.”

She quickly brushes her teeth and washes her face. She applies toner pads before whispering again. “I am very excited, but also anxious. It’s gonna be my first release working with an entirely new team, but I’m confident the results are going to be great. I managed to get about three hours of sleep, but we shouldn’t be recording too many vocals on the first day. I’m hoping it’ll be pretty chill as we create a roadmap for what we’re going to accomplish.”

She slouches over the kitchen counter, waiting for her coffee to brew. “I’d usually head around the corner to the cafe near our apartment, but it is four a.m. So I’m just gonna make a quick coffee and order breakfast when everything starts opening up.”

The video cuts to Eden kissing her fingertips, proceeding to press it against the top of a teddy bear. “Gotta give Younghui a goodbye kiss before I leave.”

She fastens her seatbelt before taking a sip of her coffee. “It’s kinda weird seeing me drive, right?”

“We’ve made it to the studio. I’ll see you inside!”

[WORKAHOLIC]

“I look back on my career and decisions I’ve made and always ask myself, “Is this really what I want? Is it worth it?” I may be a bit greedy, but is it so wrong to want more for myself?

“I just really wanted to interpret how young workers are faced with the dilemma of either working hard or enjoying life. So if you’re struggling, just know that I acknowledge you and all your hard work. If you’re not where you wanna be in life right now, that’s okay! Take it one day at a time, and make some changes! Lay out a roadmap in where you want to see yourself in a year and stick to it. Don’t be discouraged from reality and live in the moment. One day, I wanna hear all about it.”

[HAIR DOWN]

“I think this song is, in a way, a continuation of Workaholic. It’s more fun! Sometimes I just need to forget about my deadlines, let loose and live my life. Life is too short so you have to make the most of it.”

Eden has her hands on her hips, putting all her weight on one leg as the producer messes around with the mixing. She notices the studio door open behind him with her peripheral vision. She realizes it’s Jennie with takeout bags. Both of their faces light up when their eyes meet. Eden has to put her headphones on the stand before she can exit the recording room.

“Hey!” Eden hugs her member once she sets the food down. It had been a couple weeks since they last saw each other.

“How are you doing? Is everything comfortable for you here?”

“Oh, I love it. We’re getting a lot of work done.” She extends her hand, patting the back of his chair.

“I’ll let you two chit chat. I need to make a few calls.” He makes a few clicks with the mouse and then gets up to exit the room.

Jennie smiles towards her, opening the takeout bags and reaching in. “I know you’re working extra hard so I got us some good food.”

She hands Eden her favorite cold noodles, while also taking out her own order. They get themselves situated before sitting down and taking their first bite. The girls talk about how good the food is, while making small talk of what the day has offered to them so far.

“So what are you working on now?” Jennie wipes her mouth with a napkin.

“Well, let me show you.” Eden puts her chopsticks down, pushing herself towards the computer and finding a part in the song to showcase to her.

Jennie listens attentively, swaying her head back and forth. The instrumental and voice guide are the only things done but it still sounds very nice.

“And then I have two options for the second verse, one in English and the other Korean.” She clicks away and plays each version of the verse, watching Jennie’s reactions.

“I like it! They’re both very nice.”

“We haven’t decided which one to go for. Which do you like more?” Eden stops the playback, turning in her swivel chair to face the woman.

Jennie purses her lips for a second, pondering. “Well, they’re both very pretty, and I don’t know who’s all working on this one but I think the Korean verse would make it more ‘you’. Do you get what I’m saying?”

“I do.” Eden sighs and clicks her tongue, tilting her head before making more adjustments. “That settles it then.”

“You’re using the Korean verse?”

“Yep.”

“Don’t you have to discuss it with your team?”

Eden slides back over to her, smiling at Jennie. “You are my team. And I trust your judgment.”

They both smile at each other lovingly.

“I’m so proud of how far you’ve come,” Jennie squeezes her knee. “I’m so glad you have your freedom now. I’m just happy you’re doing what YOU want to do and it’s not being altered. I haven’t seen you this carefree in a while.”

“Jennie… Don’t make me cry.”

[CAFFEINE]

“The melody was the first thing to come from this song. I made it up in the passenger seat on the way home from a drive-in movie, actually. Do you ever just listen to music and think ‘this would be such a good song to play in the car, windows rolled down and feeling cool air through your hair’. That was my goal with this song. It feels very retro and nostalgic. I’m very happy with the end result.”

[SUNFLOWER GIRL]

Eden smiles, pulling her legs up on the chair to her chest and resting her chin on her knee. “I don’t really need to explain this one. It’s simple and genuine and full of love. And I’m happy. I’m really happy with how it came out.”

[HATE TO BE LAME]

“This song is about wanting to tell someone that you love them but are scared to. For me, a lot of it stems from my past relationships. You give a lot of yourself up when you say I love you for the first time. And the first time for me, it was very real. I thought it was very real for the longest time.

“The ideal way to feel when saying I love you is to be happy. But for me, I was filled with more fear and anxiety. It took a very long time to allow myself to love again. But even longer for me to express my love. I was extremely cautious about the next time I would tell someone I loved them.

“I always wonder what I would say to my past self who just finished writing this. She was so paranoid and small. But she was also very worthy of love, no matter how much she thought she was not. She didn't know that when the day finally came, it would be the easiest thing in the world. As simple as breathing.

“I wrote this many years ago so it’s just been sitting in my notes app, collecting dust. It wasn’t until earlier this year that I reached out to Finneas. I’ve always been a very big fan of his works. The first thing he sent me back was amazing and that’s the take that we use in the song. His verse was absolutely perfect and it really solidified the song as a whole.

{First time listening to Finneas’ take.}

Eden sets up the camera on the table, her hands shaking as she presses on the audio file. “I’m so nervous, I don’t know if I can press play.”

She takes a few deep breaths. “Okay.” She clicks on the play button, staring at her lap as his voice plays through the speakers. Her eyes widen as soon as it sets in that he’s singing along to the melody of her song with his own lyrics. She covers her mouth with her hands, squealing as the clip ends.

“Oh my god.” She replays it. “Oh my god.

“I gotta chill out, I can’t focus on his lyrics.” She stands to her feet, pressing her palms to her cheeks as she plays it once again. She has to replay it six times before it’s engraved in her brain. She looks at her producer friend, giving him a definitive look. “That’s it. Like it’s literally perfect. We just have to record our parts together and it’s done.”

[FIRST TIME]

Eden set up her camera at the kitchen table, soon rubbing her eyes with the palms of her hands. She let out a sigh and sniffled. “This song is from twenty eighteen or so, the darkest time in my life. I keep on forgetting it exists for obvious reasons. And I know I shouldn’t keep revisiting it if it keeps resurfacing past trauma, but I think in order to heal, I need to tackle it and make something of it. The whole concept of this album is to humanize myself and it would be wrong of me to just lock this song away. There could be someone out there that resonates with it as much as I do.”

She wipes her eyes with her fingers, nodding towards someone offscreen. A tiny smile appears on her face. “It was bothering me all day while recording and arranging, ‘Should this make the cut or not?’ but I think I just needed to catch my breath and think it over, get some reassurance. I feel much better now.

“Well, time to sleep so we can record this track tomorrow.”