#also i was gonna color this but I didn't want to
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.ăťCollege Ellie Headcannonsăăť
Note: This is more loser Ellie-centric, I wanna maybe do a part two with just reader and her. Some sexual content and mentons of getting zooted below so 18+ warning!
â˘Art major, but sheâs not the typical hot artsy lesbian you dream of her to be. More like rolls a fat blunt and sketches in her journal, itâll either turn out to be a masterpiece or look like a crackhead had a go with her paper.
â˘Speaking of art major, when sheâs horny and frustrated because she refuses to hook-upâŚshe draws the lewdest art known to woman-kind. Those are her real masterpieces, but she canât exactly turn them in for credit in her art class, can she? Fuck, the things that woman can make, though. Lowkey uses her exes naked bodies as inspiration though, maybe kind of weird but whoâs gonna stop her?
â˘Doesnât eat the food on campus half the time. She is embarrassingly addicted to Tai Pei containers and the occasional microwavable egg-roll. âThat shitâs nasty, Ellie! Goddamn, just eat the Tacos 4 Life we have on campus.â Her friends will all tell her, but no. Itâs like a guilty pleasure. Maybe itâs cause she grew up lower class and is used to TV dinners, has a special trauma bond to food that should be banned and probably is outside of America.
â˘Wardrobe consists of band tees, honorable mentions to Gorillaz and Falling in Reverse.
â˘Is actually an insanely talented writer. After reading her journals I feel like nobody talks about how emotional her entries are and she keeps a journal of her own in college for sure, not only for sketching and organizing art but also to write all her feelings out.
âFuck me, this is my last year being gay.â -After her and Catâs break-up, probably.
â˘Hates coffee. Definitely game-cannon, but this is important to the college setting. Itâs the classic Monster or nothing, and she will absolutely judge you for drinking coffee. She calls it âthe devilâs dirt.â So dramatic.
â˘Used to watch bad Hallmark movies because of Dina, now watches them alone because she misses Dina. Thereâs nothing like crying your eyes out to Christmas Under Wraps!
â˘Has a collection of rubber ducks on her shelf. Doesnât use her very small space for normal things like her wallet or books, no. Itâs rubber fucking ducks.
â˘Also has a slipper collection in her tiny closet, from Pikachu all the way to dinosaur feet.
â˘Has the âtwo-seaterâ t-shirt (iykyk) but refuses to wear it in public because sheâs a pussy
â˘Favorite fruit is grapes. I just know my girl loves grapes when she can get her hands on them steer clear bc she will NOT share. Favorite candy is gummy worms!
â˘Actually wears rain boots when itâs wet outside or snowing
â˘Likes wired earbuds over airpods, listens to Pearl Jam when she misses living with Joel
â˘Is oddly good at making those little paper stars and has a huge grocery bag of then in all different patterns and colors
â˘When she starts dating you she shows you her dinosaur cookie-cutter collection because you're really good at baking. (Also bc she wants to see you in a frilly cute apron!)
â˘Is a slut for hugs. Kisses are cool, sex is great but agghhh Ellie just loves wrapping her arms around you and sometimes when you two are in her dorm she'll just hug you for what feels like hours on end, she calls it her 'weekly therapy.'
â˘Loves high sex because when she's sober she hates feeling like she's awkward or all up in her head. She also has a tendency to invite you over for sex after smoking.
â˘Has a septum piercing. Maybe this one is self-indulgent because I would go ballistic over seeing actual Ellie with one, but I say that college Ellie got hers pierced at 16 and didn't cry over the pain but wanted to literally jump off of a bridge the entire healing process it was so bad.
â˘Sometimes when you kiss her, her septum will slide over and look uneven and she feels fucking NIGERIA FALLS in her boxers when you fix it for her. Also for those of you who are sluts for glasses, you can fix her glasses too and it'll make her just as weak.
#tlou2#ellie tlou#ellie williams#ellie the last of us#the last of us part 2#ellie x fem reader#ellie williams au#ellie headcanons
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cutely slides in the yap post about their Sans AU that was previously accidently posted and jumps out of a window đ
I've posted some art of my kid, but haven't given their name(I did) or any other info. I will eventually make a proper info post on them, but for now...
this booger right here is Error Print Sans, or just Print Error (or Error Print)
an absolute feck ton of words under the cut that's me just throwing up my thoughts â
they originally started out as a passing thought that was just Error!Sans but CMYK colors, which evolved into a whole different character who didn't even have anything CMYK going on and I forgot about them for around two or three years until I re-entered my Undertale/UTMV phase recently. seriously disliked the character and the direction I took them in so I decided to start from scratch, took the original CMYK concept, and Print Error was born
am still working out their lore. I have ideas for some events that led to their current state, though how they got into the Anti-Void or why their attire changed after becoming an error is still beyond me
I called them Print Error because inkjet printers use CMYK ink and they're an error (very creative ik) they also feel weird being called just Print but they don't know why
even though I made its design with the CMYK color model in mind, its more CMY than CMYK due to actually not having any black, the way its body works just makes it look like it has blackâ´
Print Error's being is composed of 3 overlapping color layers (cyan, magenta, yellow) that each depict how much of that magic they have. less saturated colors means less magic left, and running out of all three colors will leave Print Error in a mindless "no color" or "all white" state where they can't use any magic unless they absorb color through physical contact
the alignment of Print Error's layers reflect their mental state. more misaligned layers means more mentally unstable or intense Print Error's emotions. more aligned layers means Print Error is more "there" in their own chaotically fragmented way, but layers rarely ever align too closely...
Their body is not affected by lighting, which means they stick out like a sore thumb with their bright colors and vantablack bones (it's already hard enough to just make the effect, shading them would just be an absolute nightmare đ)
Print Error's strings are much thicker than a typical error's and come from both its eyes and mouth. Print Error can additionally absorb CMY colors from objects/beings with its strings
Print Error's attacks (bones, gaster/printing error blaster blasts) come in cyan, magenta, and yellow, which all have their own properties, but Print Error can't control what color their attack will be half of the time
Print Error is cold to the touch but has thermoanesthesia, so it doesn't know its a walking ice cube. its confused why others react so weird when coming in physical contact with it
Print Error does not understand social cues and personal space. they're often in a chaotically playful mood, though not always
Print Error is morally grey and can't tell the difference between good and bad, everything is neutral to it... apart from mistakes
Print Error's thoughts are inconsistent, usually jumping from one topic to another, having multiple thoughts at once, or not having any thoughts at all. it usually "lives in the moment", often going with the flow
Print Error's fragmented mind kind of leaves them absent minded most of the time, getting easily distracted and forgetting things like it's nobody's business. though they can often hold their focus if they're intrigued by something
even with a horrible memory, Print Error can remember things at random, though often it's something that it was previously intrigued by, or just something completely random. either way its gonna forget not even 2 seconds later
Print Error deeply believes that any mistake, no matter how small, can be catastrophic, causing them to have a sort of perfectionist mindset. they try to avoid making any mistakes, and punish themself over any mistakes they do make (leaving out details)
if Print Error witnesses someone else make a mistake, there's a chance their mind might not register it, but more often than not, will get seriously exasperated at the person for making a mistake and might even crash out of frustration. not because of the mistake itself, but more so out of fear for the person, though Print Error doesn't recognize the feeling nor reason behind it
though they do heal quicker than usual, it's a double-edged sword as it subconsciously encourages Print Error's more self-destructive behavior
I originally had Print Error have excellent depth perception, until I thought of Print Error seeing everything in the same layered effect others see them in. definitely gonna explore that idea!
there are many more ideas I have for Print Error but I don't know how to "coherently" include them so those are gonna be revealed over time đ
If anyone wants to ask anything about Print Error, feel free to ask! I would love to answer any questions about them and I got nothing but time!
been stressing over this post for like two weeks and I just set a deadline so I wouldn't tweak things till the heat death of the universe
was heavily inspired by @ossiethegreat's Static Hue/Error!Color post to make my own rant on my own kid, so there might be some similarities cuz I am oh so â¨ď¸creativeâ¨ď¸. link to the post because I absolutely loved reading its ideas and I love Hue
I AM SO SORRY OZ IF YOU DID GET A NOTIFICATION FOR THE UNFINISHED VERSION OF THIS POST THAT WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN I AM SO FRICKING SORRY đđđ
I really tried to explain my thoughts and I feel like I failed in certain areas đ I struggle with explaining my ideas and especially the more in-depth ones, so some things might change if I find better ways to explain them
I definitely plan to share more of this gremlin, and especially if more than one person is interested in them!
also found some older drawings of Print Error I made previously but didn't share, so I'm sharing now because I don't think I would have shared these at any point in the future
also a lil lore one đ which I like but also don't like
#undertale au#undertale au oc#sans au#sans au oc#utmv oc#utmv au#utau oc#utau au#undertale sans au#undertale sans oc#heck why not#ima create some tags for them too#Error Print Sans#Print Error Sans#Error!Print
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Half-joke comic based off something my friends said
#dandys world#roblox dandys world#dandys world art#dandy's world fanart#dw shrimpo#shrimpo dandys world#cosmo dandys world#dandys world sprout#fruitcake dandy's world#You're telling me shrimp fried this rice?#also i was gonna color this but I didn't want to#dandy world brainrot
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dream from several days ago
#dream diary#artists on tumblr#flotsam diaries#sequential#...I said I was gonna sleep but that obviously didn't happen HAHA#anyways really happy that I was able to get the colors/vibes I wanted down fjhkgj :'D#a lot of nitpicking and adjusting hahah#also kororon/eve was on blast for the majority of drawing this hghhjf#alright good night/morning/something yall#edit: was thinking more and the feeling I wanted to get across I guess is like when someone voluntarily#reaches out to touch me/casually/platonically and it's like a 'you're touching me of your own free will??? o H'#because when I was growing up had a parent who wasn't physically affectionate/would kinda brush me off#and that uhhhh kinda internalized as I'm gross and therefore shouldn't touch other people#(lmao took covid lockdown and very good friends to basically destroy that feeling yay)#anYWAYS had feelings but didn't quite know how to verbalize it hahah
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Someone in the tags of the last post correctly guessed that Wingdings' lamp was made with these Waterfall glowing crystals soooo I took it as a chance to mention it! Hehe
Moving the lamp around a little will get it to shine brightly again when it's light is starting to fade
#I know the crystal are magenta/pink and Wingdings is holding one that looks more red but it's supposed to be the same kind of crystal#I WAS SO SURE THEY WERE MORE RED BUT NO#I'm gonna pretend there's different colors around the same hue but slightly different#forgettable-au#I didn't want to give him a regular lamp for some reason and decided this would be cute#also it implies he's gone to Waterfall before and taken some of the crystal and that's interesting! very useful to build up a little#something I'm planning!
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tsukasa tenma has ADHD!! except it's an actual analysis because 1. look at my url 2. i'm mentally unwell (and i started to love tsukasa mostly because i immediately recognized my ADHD traits in him). which is a thing i should probably leave for ADHD awareness month, HOWEVER!! it was my birthday yesterday and i wanted to spoil myself (i just kinda overlooked how much time writing it from scratch would take me, so i'm a bit late with it). and i reaaally don't wanna wait until november when i finally wrote it down because i'm so HYPED because i was preparing for it like what? two years? somewhere around it. and that's a LONG time.
please keep in mind that i'm no psychologist, psychiatrist nor a neurologist and while i do use some sources (cannot really confirm if they are true, though... because i forgot to write credits down... so i'm really sorry for that), most of this analysis was just based off on my personal experiences with the disorder (and i don't really have the full professional knowledge of what i struggle with i'm just a Boy). i mean, i am analyzing a character from a hatsune miku game. i think i'm already putting way too many effort than i should.
also the examples of tsukasa's behavior here are not all of the things, because i wrote down only the things i remember off from the top of my head. sorry, guys. my hyperactive ass is not sitting thru all the stories again just to get my crumbs, unfortunately.
anyways, with this a little bit unprofessional and messy introduction, let's get it started!
1. THE MAIN PART OF THIS WHOLE THING, AKA HOW THE ADHD SYMPTOMS CORRESPOND TO TSUKASA'S BEHAVIOR
i wanted to write it down in my own words, but i think the screen above has summed it up perfectly; there are some established symptoms of ADHD, but to be an ADHDer you don't have to experience them all. and this is going to explain why i'm gonna show a lot of these symptoms later, yet gonna connect only some of them with tsukasa. it's only these i have evidence for, and yet i think they're good enough to point at tsukasa and already say woah! an ADHDer!!
in short, there are three types of ADHD: hyperactive, inattentive (ADD) and combined. the combined one is the most common iirc, so that's also what i'm going to focus on today. especially since for a rep of the other types, i could say that shizuku's a rather great representation of ADD â but that's not the point of my ted talk today, so i'm not going to go into the detail about it. i'm sure some momojan or shizuku oshi would do better than me in this field, so i'm leaving it to the experts.
these are the symptoms that i managed to gather â the first two screens being about the symptoms viewed in children, the last one being about the symptoms viewed in adults. "in which one of them tsukasa belongs to?" that's a good question, because i actually don't know. calling a high schooler a child doesn't sit quite right with me, yet a freshly turned 17/18-years-old is not exactly an adult, either (although most of the symptoms i'm analyzing come from these that are viewed in adults). and while i do think tsukasa has more of the symptoms viewed in adults, we're gonna analyse them all! because i'm putting my all into this.
FORGETFULNESS
i believe there's not much left to say, as this is the most obvious one and everyone already knows that. even though it's not touched that much anymore for some reason, tsukasa's forgetfulness is his very apparent trait. it varies in severity a lot of times: from him basically forgetting both his childhood and true feelings in the main story to him, for example, forgetting his own phone and lunch (in the same day!!) in hinamatsuri. even saki in the same event, while they were arguing, called him a "big, dumb forgetter" and assumed that he forgot what happened the day he brought her the hinamatsuri dolls to hospital. while forgetting basically half of your life is not exactly normal and can be a sign of something bigger, like dissociative amnesia, his forgetting of just the ordinary things and it happening a lot definitely still fits this trait.
EXCESSIVE TALKING/PHYSICAL MOVEMENT
while this is something that you'd rather connect to emu (and for a good reason), it's not like tsukasa is completely devoid of it either; he talks a lot. he moves a lot. it's not on emu's level of hyperactivity, but it's also not "a lot" that's taken as a social norm, based on how the people around him react. he's putting the 1 in oddball 1 2, after all.
in holy night or some side stories connected to it (it might be meiko's side story? but i'm not exactly sure) it was also said that tsukasa moves in his sleep a lot to this point that his parents have to leave his christmas presents under his door instead of next to his bed.
oh, and he also talks to himself a lot. even in class, which was confirmed in chapter 6 of dazzling (or maybe even earlier, it's just the one moment that i remember). (but i'll get to this moment later on)
he says his long monologues, he strikes his poses at every occasion â and while i don't think that's the first thing you think of when you have "excessive talking/movement" in mind, for me it sure does count as it.
LITTLE OR NO SENSE OF DANGER
this point can seem rather weird, because "isn't tsukasa always riddiculed at rui's weird inventions"? well, yeah, he is, that is not a thing to deny. but he also agrees to try out most of them, if not all, if it's for the sake of the show. he's aware of what can happen, but he also doesn't back away if it means that he'll be one step closer to achieving his dream of stardom.
does it count as "little sense of danger"? well, i'm actually not sure, for me it doesn't, but maybe for someone it does. i'd say that's a rather weak point, but i wanted to include the explanation for the counterpoint of it â that's why i even mentioned it in the first place. i don't have a lot to say about this tbh.
update: oh, actually no, wait, i just remembered. remember how tsukasa in phoenix decided to not eat anything for three days just to be able to resonate with rio, while also having to do straining exercise on top of that? you certainly cannot say that's a safe thing to do, but he still went along with that in order to get the role. it makes me come to a conclusion that tsukasa actually has a sense of danger, but sometimes chooses to willingly ignore it if only it makes him get closer to fulfilling his dream. i think it's coming close enough to the little/no sense of danger to be actually considered an ADHD trait.
DIFFICULTY KEEPING QUIET
while i'm not sure if what i'm going to talk about is a difficulty keeping quiet in a traditional sense of way, it definitely counts as it, somehow: tsukasa is loud. like, really loud. and that's another obvious fact both for us and for characters in-universe, especially when thinking of tsukasa shiho's first thought is that he's kinda noisy, which can be seen in the "a friend's brother" 1koma. (and probably a lot of other cases. free shiho.)
tsukasa doesn't seem to realize that he's way louder than he should be and that him being loud is his first impression in most of the cases, though, or at least i don't remember any moment where it happens (and it's a possibility. then that's on me, i guess.). and yeah, i know what's the reason for it, obviously â he's supposed to be a comic relief character. because wansho's stories are mostly supposed to make you smile, as this is what wansho's aspiration is. however, as much as being intended to make the viewer laugh it wouldn't be, it still is a part of tsukasa's character, and a rather important one on top of that. his constant loudness is something that's definitely not considered normal by the society and could very well fit into this symptom.
and since i promised to elaborate on the mentioned before scene from dazzling chapter 6: when tsukasa talks to himself in class, it always ends up to be loud. and it already happened a few times.
(tl by tsukasa's #3 fan on youtube because i don't have proseka on my phone wah)
if it's not a difficulty keeping quiet, then i don't know what is. bro can scream up to 120dB as measured by robonene for god's sake.
IRRITABILITY/QUICK TEMPER
again, this is something that was more apparent with early game tsukasa, maybe he just got medicated. idk man. but even if it happened three, almost four years ago, it still happened, i don't make the rules. back in the early game, tsukasa was really easily losing his temper and getting annoyed, mad even â i mean, that was the whole point of the main story argument: tsukasa's first response to nene accidentally messing up their show, which was not even her fault, was to shout at her. and while this was obviously very important thing to him and being upset at this is a rather understandable reaction, taking this as far as screaming at a poor girl for not being to face the audience because of her anxiety is not something a person who can control their anger would do.
it could be also easily seen by his reaction to emu and rui's antics back in the early game, which were often stained with irritation.
another example is his hinamatsuri argument with saki, where, despite loving her so much, he still got slightly mad at her for not liking the new dolls he bought her. he started to regret his harsh words and actions soon enough, obviously, but it doesn't change the fact that it was rather easy for him to get him across.
INABILITY TO DEAL WITH STRESS
if i'm not mistaken, tsukasa has once said something along the lines of "is it anxiety? there's no way a star like me would feel anxiety" â but i cannot recall for the love of my life in which story it appeared, so i don't want to take it as a face value when i don't have a solid proof for it.
other than this vague mention of "something that's in the story but i don't remember where", i'll admit, i don't really have anything backing me up for this tbf. i mean, i guess maybe tsukasa doing his best to appear strong as a child to not worry his parents could work? because the stress of saki being in the hospital definitely was also present here, although i just see this more as a coping mechanism for his situation than a reaction to stress, so that's not a solid evidence either.
so, yeah. take this one with a grain of salt, actually.
from the symptoms that weren't listed here, i remember reading something about people with ADHD enjoying to show off more, which is certainly what tsukasa does often â and while it actually applies to me too, it wasn't on an english site so i didn't screenshot it and i cannot really find it anywhere in english... so even though i treat it just like my whole argument for the inability to deal with stress, i thought it's just worth mentioning.
however, there is obviously one more thing...
HYPERFIXATION/SPECIAL INTEREST
obviously, i'm talking about acting here: for tsukasa, acting aligns with all these criterias. it is his deep passion; it is something highly engaging for him; it is sometimes all-consuming for him; he tunes out the world around him when he thinks about how can he possibly improve his acting (see: the dazzling moment i showed earlier. yeah, i like to use it as a backing point a lot, as you can see.); and it is something that is his life-long interest.
is it his special interest or his hyperfixation, though? well, it's hard to tell...? because while according to screen two, spinterest revolves around a topic and hyperfixation revolves around an activity, so it would qualify what tsukasa feels towards acting as a hyperfixation, it's still kinda hard for me to call it so because of its length. yes, screen three clearly says that hyperfixation can last years, but they mostly revolve around shorter periods of time, after all (my longest hyperfixation was just a year long, for example). i think it's up to you to determine whether you'd call tsukasa's love for acting a hyperfixation or a special interest, but it's something from these two most certainly.
i'm also a big fan of the headcanon that tsukasa's other spinterest is kaito ww it's in no way a canon evidence (unfortunately!), but kaito's 1* side story, where tsukasa and emu are watching kaito's show and tsukasa is explaining to her why kaito's wearing a scarf somewhat implies that tsukasa knew a thing or two about kaito before the main story. and i'm all for it. colopale let tsukasa be a kaito fanboy pleaseee.
2. I REALLY LIKE ANALYZING SONGS, IF YOU CAN'T TELL
those who have already read a few of my things probably know what i love to do the most â analyzing songs!! so i wouldn't be myself if i just left tsukasa's commisions without analyzing them under the angle of neurodivergence, especially since the sole reason i became obsessed with the thought of ADHD tsukasa was that one sekahaji line (there's too much noise, so much noise and it keeps getting worse you will always be famous).
of course, remember that only the world hasn't even started yet should be taken as a canon value! producers are often given space to do whatever they want in the lyrics of the songs they are commissioned for, so they're not canonical in any way. i think it's still fun to look at their lyrics and ramble about them for a bit, though. i've already got too carried away anyways.
won't be posting photos of the lyrics since i'd hit the images limit, but you can check them yourself â all the translations i'm taking, as always, from the vocaloid lyrics wiki. (since filament fever has two tls on there, i want to clarify that i've only looked at and considered in my analysis the official english one, because it's, well, official.)
THE WORLD HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET
besides the mentioned earlier there's too much noise, so much noise and it keeps getting worse, which i think of as a representation of overstimulation (since i used to see people asking "oh but why tsukasa has something about there being too much noise in a song made out of his feelings when he's such a loud person himself". because he likes the noise he makes, not the overwhelming, overstimulating noise from the outside!!), sekahaji also has a rather good amount of quotes that could be read as something connected to neurodivergence (based on the fact that it's not supposed to be a song about this topic): the main theme of these are procrastination, which can be seen in let's cross the end of all of this, partying forever and the world hasn't even started yet line itself. the thought of the world not even starting implies that there's still a lot of time left to do something, while "partying forever" can refer to deciding to give up on doing the things you should do and going to drown in something that indulges only you and yourself for the rest of eternity. while procrastination is not counted as an official ADHD symptom, it's a trait that people with the disorder very often have (for reasons obvious).
other lines, which i couldn't entirely fit into a box of a certain symptom, are there's too much conflict, so much conflict and it keeps growing (a parallel line to the noise one, so it means something! right) and let's break the plans for a harmonious future. in my personal interpretation, they both can be viewed as your typical neurodivergent struggle in a neurotypical society â "too much conflict" refering to an internal struggle of not being completely normal, while the "harmonious future" that's going to get broken are just the social norms that are going to be broken because of an off-putting, neurodivergent behavior. something that some neurotypical people dooon't really like.
TONDEMO-WONDERZ
since i've just talked about breaking the social norms, "why?!" and "do it like this!!" aren't like you, huh? line from tondemo-wonderz is going to go first, because it revolves around the same topic. it's the same case: it's about (subconscious, not intentional) fighting what's accepted by the society by just being yourself â because you're neurodivergent, you're different.
from the other lines in tondemo-wonderz, i have only one and it's take an eraser to your memories?!, which is pretty much self explanatory. as always, a mention of forgetting something in tsukasa's commision. who would've thought.
88 SHOOTING STARS
another self explanatory line that i have written down as first: it's okay if you only remember a little part of it sometimes. another mention of tsukasa forgorâ˘, and while it corresponds with what happened in dazzling, it's still a line mentioning forgetfulness â so it's worth mentioning.
aren't we just inevitably going around in circles? and it's okay if you take a rest for a little bit sometimes can be interpreted as another mention of procrastination and while it's not that apparent as it was with sekahaji, because going in circles can refer to something else and taking a rest sometimes is not a bad thing at all, i still wanted to mention them here. for the record.
you ought to slip and fall in panic in the final moment is connected to a symptom that i showed, yet didn't elaborate on it (because i didn't have anything to work with) â making careless mistakes. the same case, yet with another symptom goes with is this not enough yet again? is this not how it's supposed to be? couldn't we go even further than this?, which can be seen as a reflection of unability to listen to instructions. a bit of reaching with this one (like this whole part damn), but as i said earlier: for the record, i'm leaving it here. to show that i had some intense thoughts.
tbf, when i think about it now, maybe the mentioned earlier "why?!" and "do it like this!!" aren't like you [...] could very well fit this symptom too.
MR SHOWTIME
mr showtime you will always be famous, because this is a song that gave me a looot of things to work with. i was so flabbergasted when i read these lyrics for the first time. tsukasa tenma why are you like this. /aff
there are a lot of lines hinting being easily distracted, and these are basically the very first ones, too: you know what? i just can't make up my mind, it's so messed up that i can't put my thoughts together and a merry-go-round (my thought process) goes round and round are all about it. like you cannot deny it this time, if it's not about being unable to stay focused then i really don't know what is [insert the tsukasa don't look away stamp here because i love it and it's my biggest motivation to actually focus whenever i do something]. the more i mess around and waste time, the more i become hungry / and i can't handle it can be seen as about procrastination again, and even not "can be seen", it's literally being frustrated at yourself for wasting time, that's the sole outcome of a procrastination!! being bothered by feeling anxious, meanwhile, is resonating with the inability to deal with stress once again.
also jumping the gun. driving in a zigzag manner can actually connected with the little to no sense of danger. because, as far as i'm aware, driving in a zigzag manner is certainly not a safe activity. don't do it at home.
from the symptoms that i haven't yet mentioned to this point, am i taking a long way? am i making a fruitless effort? can be reflecting difficulty organizing tasks â since the poor planning of your activities can make you take a long way and can make you do a fruitless effort. then, where's the fun in taking shortcuts all the time? can be read along the lines of something coming close to extreme impatience and while a person that's extremely impatient would actually enjoy taking the shortcuts to get closer to their goal or destination, said impatience can be also connected with the desire for something interesting to happen. a task can make you impatient not because it's long, but because it's simply boring â avoiding shortcuts can make it less boring, even if it extends its duration. with this explanation, it makes the unexpectedness (unexpected program) is the best part of the show (my life) perfectly fit into this category, even though i wouldn't call this line a sign of impatience on its own.
i have some issues with i'm pathetic. i can't satisfy myself, because... at first i thought of connecting it with either mood swings or inability to deal with stress, however i'm not sure if that's really it. i'm pretty sure it connects to neurodivergence in some way, but i just can't put my finger on it, so... i'm just leaving it here for the record, once again.
oh, and there's also i got lost in the world (stage) and / the end credits rolled (the curtain fell), which also is pretty much summing up the experience of being neurodivergent in the neurotypical society. in the middle of trying to stay true to yourself and having to mask just to be accepted, it's easy to get lost â and once you do so, there's no going back. the curtain falls.
to end this part of the analysis, i'd show the lyrics from filament fever and sekai wo terasu tetrad here. i won't do this, however, and the reason for it is fairly simple â they don't give me much material to work with and i'm not really surprised, because mr showtime has succesfully sucked all of the neurodivergent coded lyrics into itself. there just won't be another song like mr showtime, i fear.
i can just say that in filament fever there is running away from the flow of time â which got me thinking of either procrastination and unability to stick to time-consuming tasks, with the former being more plausible as a potential interpretation... but that would be it.
3. NAKAYAMA IS A METAPHOR FOR NEURODIVERGENT MASKING AND IT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER SAID BUT YOU HAVE TO HEAR ME OUT ON THIS
listen, i know how it sounds.
i'm not actually a fan of trying to fit every thing a character does into a box of a metaphor, symbol or allegory, i really am not. i think some things should just stay as simple as they are, but this thought has been bothering me ever since i've first seen spoilers of what's happening in a story where you're the star for the very first time. i'm in no way saying it has any canonical meaning, but i just thought it would be fun to include. because maaaybe someone sees my vision.
for those who haven't seen tsukasa4 yet or want to have a recap of what has happened in it: the whole event story revolves around tsukasa trying to grasp his role (as always). wxs got recommended to shunmei-za by shousuke and went there to practice their acting skills, immediately getting thrown onto the preparation for their next performance. tsukasa, however, is not a lead this time â he got the role of a supporting character and has got basically three lines to say on stage total. since tsukasa's used to playing lead roles, he obviously has issues with grasping the role â it's hard to use method acting in regards of a character that says three sentences total and nothing more. with help of bakuno reki, one of the actors in shunmei-za, and the rest of wxs, he manages to create a portrayal of nakayama that would make him "come to life" and "be a protagonist of his own story", something that would make it easier for him to get into role, however...
he gets a little bit too carried away with his acting during the actual performance.
and this is not something that would ruin the whole play, obviously, he's just a supporting character, the less invested audience would probably forgot about his impact on the story after five minutes of his last appearance â but he still made a slip-up. he still resonated with his role, but didn't achieve the utmost perfection. he still did well acting, after all, he managed to receive praise from the director in the end... but it's still a very apparent mistake that was made.
(tl, once again, by the awesome tsukasa's #3 fan)
and that's where the nakayama masking metaphor theory (it's not even a theory but it sounds cooler this way) comes in.
nakayama is supposed to be just a man. from what we know about him, he's in his late twenties and works as an editor â and even though tsukasa makes up a whole backstory for him later on, he's still supposed to be ordinary. nothing special. he's coming nowhere near the other roles that tsukasa has played, he's not on the same level as miles, torpe and rio. and while you could possibly consider torpe and rio as rather ordinary, they still had something interesting to happen to them, the main reason why they were lead roles for their respective plays. in the tsukasa4 play, nakayama has nothing like that. he's literally just a guy, he's normal. and "normal" is a keyword here.
tsukasa did everything he could to fit into nakayama's role. he followed the script, he took the advice from a more talented and professional actor that is bakuno, he didn't do any mistakes during his preparations â and yet he still managed to mess up in the end. why?, besides of the fact that he just let himself become one with nakayama during the performance and it resulted in a supporting character outshining the lead?
if we take as a fact that tsukasa is, in fact, neurodivergent, it would make sense that he's having troubles with playing a normal person â because he's not exactly normal either. and this would very well work out as a metaphor of masking; even when you try your best, even when you mask yourself perfectly, you can still make slip-ups. you can still accidentally drop the act in middle of something that absolutely required it, or, similiar to what tsukasa did, can accidentally overdo it and end up perceived as even more weird than you'd be without masking. something something i got lost in the world and the end credits rolled. rings a bell?
and i'm not saying that tsukasa has a problem with masking, because he doesn't. he tries his best to pass as a normal member of society, but he also makes no effort in actively masking his weirdness (or else he wouldn't be a part of oddball one two). however, if you want to neurodivergent code your character, it would make sense to include a possibility of it in some way, right? especially since wxs stories' already had the theme of dealing with being perceived as weird (eg. rui's whole backstory, obviously). even if it's not affecting tsukasa directly, i think it would be cool to include something that indicates this issue's existence in his story and, in a way, his struggles.
however, as i said earlier, this is a very stupid thought and that's why i left it for the very end. i don't actually think that how tsukasa played nakayama was supposed to be a metaphor for masking, it's just a pure coincidence that it could be interpreted like that when you think about it too much.
aaand with this, we've finally come to an end!! (finally. i'm so exhausted.) i don't have anything more to say about this topic. maybe i'll retweet it with some more evidence in the future if we ever get more ADHDkasa content. for now, it would be all!
is tsukasa actually intentionally written as an ADHDer? Who Knows! there's a possibility that he is, but even if he's not, he's still one in my heart. regardless of the status of his possible neurodivergence, analyzing his behavior in this light was still very fun! and maybe i even converted someone into the ADHDkasa hell.
feel free to add something if you want to, and feel free to correct me if i got some things wrong! i still hope that even though of how messy this whole thing is written, i did tsukasa justice and didn't accidentally say too much nonsense lmao
...i hate ending analyses.
#i spent too much time on this. this is the most important thing i've ever written. if this flops i'm gonna do very bad things to myself.#/JOKE but seriously skdkshd if this does bad i'll be very sad#i'm way too passionate about this headcanon hehehehe#also don't mind the cover photo i just didn't want to put read more when it was still so empty#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#proseka#puroseka#prosekai#colorful stage#tsukasa tenma#tenma tsukasa#wonderlands x showtime#tsukasa wxs#wxs tsukasa#tsukasa pjsk#pjsk tsukasa#tsukasa project sekai#project sekai tsukasa#putting more tags on this one because i'm sorta proud of it#if i actually messed up something very bad you'll never hear from me again#ri says things the tag
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Happy holidays @rj-abacura !!
It's been so nice getting to know you this year and I hope the holidays and New Year treat you kindly!
#the murderbot diaries#murderbot diaries#SecUnit#Murderbot#perihelion#asshole research transport#gurathin#murderathin#murderhelion#art/Murderbot/Gurathin#artmb#me: im not gonna do backgrounds on these#brain: ok but what if...#me: fine but im not adding shading#brain: ok but WHAT IF#(basically this one ran away from me lmao)#im shit at interiors pls dont look closely i was just throwing shit on the page fnensn#also don't ask what Gurathin is wearing because I DONT KNOW i was looking for clothes similar to Mensah's kaftan ok#but then i was coloring it last night and was like. fml i should have just gone with a T-shirt#but id already inked it and finished the background and I didn't want to redo so much so. weird shirt it is lol#anyway i don't have a story idea behind the picture either#except im always thinking about that MW interview i cant track down where she says MB's fav energy source is ART lmao#anywAY#enjoy RJ!! đ#fanart#murderARTthin
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dummies
#i am a big believer in he/him nb yusuke so. that's what that first one's about#anyway here's some guys. i've been thinking about yyh a lot lately :p#yyh#yu yu hakusho#yusuke urameshi#kazuma kuwabara#hiei#kurama#yukina#yoko kurama#skrunkart#urameshi yusuke#kuwabara kazuma#kiiiiinda skipped class for this. which i feel bad about bc it's end of semester! it's fun! i'll miss everybody!!#but also i uh. idk i got a bad feeling. felt weird so i bailed on the way there#not like i was gonna miss anything that crucial anyway#brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr i gotta go study don't i... hm#anyway if you think the top one looks bad um. ignore it please i haven't colored anything digitally in ages (ignore last night's post)#and also i wanted it to be colored but didn't care enough to do full shading and... well whatever
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JADEITE REDOLENCE â favorite chenyu vale overworld tracks
#genshin#genshinedit#genshinet#genshin impact#chenyu vale#jadeite redolence#m:gifs#m:*#m:gifs:scenery#m:top#ive been wanting to do this kind of thing for a while for several albums actually but jadeite redolence is the one where i RAN to do it lol#(overworld albums i mean)#if i find the motivation i might do it for a couple other albums this was fun :> maybe once im funemployed ajfldkjads (iykyk)#originally there were only gonna be 9 but then there were 2 i absolutely couldn't bear to leave out so i added 3 more#and that includes me trying to avoid repeating leitmotifs/areas and also avoiding any non-overworld tracks#but anyways it was fun running around looking for shots to gif. chenyu vale in general is just so pretty#im so happy with the goat shot bc i wasn't trying to get the goat it just happened to walk into frame PERFECTLY#the yilong wharf one (through clouds and rivers) is the only one where the song doesn't actually play where that's recorded#but like. if your giffing yilong wharf it HAS to be that shot its literally the album cover LMAO#this coloring is also kind of out of my comfort zone but i think i like it.... i slept on it and didn't wake up regretting it so adsjklasdf
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sketchy doodle of the immediate aftermath
#realized i didn't post this oops#maybe i was waiting for something or was gonna redraw it better or draw an extra thing to go with it#but looking back i'm like ''uh. nah. go my child. out into the world.''#nerd stuff#my art#scarletta doodles#transformers#maccadam#shattered glass#SG cyclonus#shattered glass cyclonus#SG soundwave#i have no clue who the right guy would be#def a seeker but I kinda didn't have anyone solidly in mind#i guess by default SG starscream but prob not storywise#i mean i don't think soundwave was there either but like. that's def who i drew#also if you want to know what my sketches (that don't turn into the final product) look like this is it#every person a distinct color for differentiation; always the same one color just hue shifted
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I'm personally blaming @starbiology and everyone who has reblogged or commented the other piece for this.
Bonus comic featuring my grundo:
#every minute i keep working on this i take psychological damage#neotag#neopets#vin memes#you'reall to blame for this monstruosity#i literally just searched âbabygirlâ pose and went âI... i can do thatâ#i didn't stop to think if i should though#Star i was gonna respond 2 the reblog with the first image only but decided it needed its own post for quarantining this... thing#again if youre seeing this with no context#you dont need context#i... i don't think there's any for that matter#just picture me writing all this tags while losing health in posion damage every turn#i am working on neo oc images i just need to render them but i.... i needed the world to see this before#my blog's already tainted anyway LMFAOO#yeah uh im dead in neo canon i drew this and inmediately got taken back by yours trully and never came back#also i'll try making a ref as well for my sona so i can draw them more im just really indecisive in what color to make him#split it is for now#i don't want to look at this anymore end me#i am making more drawings to kinda cover this thing from the light but at this point it just keeps reappearing like a mold#thats it im done see u all in kreludorian therapy#kreludorian health insurance in a farse
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Another Riku page cause Iâm trying to figure out how to draw his DDD/kh3 hair
#Kassandra draws things#Kassandra draws: Kingdom Hearts#disregard how the middle far left one looks it didn't turn out how I wanted it#Also I found a color combo that I think makes his hair look V nice so I'm gonna be sticking with it now#bby boy whomst I love with all my heart some day I WILL learn how to draw you properly#kingdom hearts
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saw someone on twitter imply that one king of queens promo photo would be tech and phee and so now we have this
#tbb tech#tbb phee#tech bad batch#phee genoa#techphee#the bad batch#tbb fanart#the bad batch fanart#pls be gentle#im closing my eyes as i press post now for this one#which is crazy because ive literally posted drawings before#idk why this ones given me so many nerves#very odd#but its done!!#if you've seen previous renditions of this drawing no u didn't#ok ok time for the positives#i love how i made her shift his goggles with her thumb#from the start i knew i was gonna make phee do that#and i wanted to just use two colors for the whole drawing#and i did at first#tech blue phee red#and then i added a little red to tech and a little blue to phee and i was so AAAAA about that#the background also has a purposeful purple tint to it which i love#ok ok and also i love phee's hair#and her foot that's sticking outwards#woah this is a lot more rambly than i anticipated#oh well#that's what tumblr's for#also as i look at it now its very pixely which leaves me ???? but that's that and thats how its gonna be i suppose just dont try to zoom#ok thnx bye
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sketching some infamous faves
making the executive decision rn not to bother with cleaning it up too much. we r keeping the under sketch and just layering on top
#i sketched cory before i got turbo sick#84 years ago#and i looked at it today and kinda wished i did it differently#but also i didn't want to start over#so i just colored it and moved on#i want to fit another character in there#but i'm not sure how i'm gonna do it#it's a bit awkward positioning#and i want the 'page' to be filled#we'll see#also i *will* fuckin scream#if this thing shows up in the tag#because i used 'the word' in the post#but the finished piece won't
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Them
#qsmp#qsmp chayanne#qsmp tallulah#I gave Chayanne solid black eyes because originally I had wanted to make Chayanne and Dapper's designs inverses to each other#Dapper with solid white eyes and Chayanne with solid black eyes in return#I had the idea to want to inverse them because of how both Bad and Philza had wanted either Dapper or Chayanne when#they were gonna pick an egg - It's also why I made Chayanne grayish so that it was a bit similar to Dapper but not completely#though I changed some things through and didn't completely make them inverses of each other#I gave Chayanne purpleish clothes because I remember Missa saying that Chayanne had a similar fashion sense to him - in a vod that was the#first day that Missa got Chayanne or Missa had said something along those lines#but the floatie just didn't fit well with the purple clothes xd so I just placed it onto Chayanne's hoodie instead#I also gave Chayanne black solid eyes because there was a joke that Chayanne made that slime armor had his eye color#and Philza zoomed in on Chayanne since it's obvious that Chayanne doesn't have eyes - he's an egg#but I also wanted to take that as Chayanne not having green eyes#but I did debate on giving him green eyes to match better with my redesign of Tallulah#Tallulah's valentine model has flowers in her hair so I just gave it to her hat instead and I wanted to redesign her#mmangoarts#qsmp fanarts
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â¨Surprise! â¨
I'm launching a new story for my dark cream ship kids and co ^^
I usually don't warn before the first part is done but I thought Mimosa's birthday was a good day to announce it!
A Tear's Soul!
I already showed that drawing (hehe it's the cover) but now I can talk about it ;3
The project is gonna a mix of comics and writings (because I'd burn myself out trying to do full comic when I'm not very experienced in those... They're hard, ok?)
Sooo it's gonna take me a while........................
Even if I try to shorten it as much as possible (10 parts unless problems)
I think the ones who'd be interested all know how my projects usually go, it's not gonna be a cute, fluffy story uwu. It'll have some fluff tho promise, but angst is part of the journey here! I'll give warnings each time I feel it's necessary :P
So!
If it interests you and you wish to be tagged on it, tell me now and you'll be tagged in each update :D
[I had to compress that gif, it was too big XD]
#me doing artz#minz gif#that gif took me so long honestly#A Tear's Soul#Mimosa#for once I'll write that story in the present timeline#dark cream ship kid#me yelling surprise as if I didn't know it's gonna interest only max a handful of persons#still for them#I hope I won't take too long to finish it tho#currently drawing the first comic: I want to set the whole background concept on fire#oh also I'm not full coloring#just a solid color with some stuff colored if important#and I'm not trying to get something perfect out#otherwise I would not succeed#so don't expect something beautiful?
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