#also i wanted to try using perspective in my art. hope it came out well

[mleemwyvern]

history may not repeat, but it sure does rhyme

[lifeofkaze]

Swept Away

A/N: This story was written as part of the @hphm-ship-week event. For Day 1, I picked the prompt 'Dance'. If this story feels weirdly familiar to you, it's because you've read it before from Lizzie's perspective, as to be perused in my story An Art of Balance here. (Also, if you want context lol.) Thanks for sticking with my rambling. Enjoy!

The crowd occupying the main room of The Three Broomsticks had become dense, and so it was only one moment after Penny Haywood had whisked away Lizzie that Orion lost sight of the two girls. He stared at the spot where they had disappeared, running over the conversation he’d just had with Lizzie - if one could even call it that - in his mind. He pulled a face. 

I’m good at catching things.

What a stupid thing to say. 

There was no triviality in the makings of the universe, every moment in it filled with sense that sometimes simply failed to show its meaning. Beyond self-consciousness, detached from any prejudice or assumption on how one wished to be perceived, lay the true freedom of being as one with the universe as he could possibly hope to be. And yet Orion was bewildered at how embarrassed his silly comment made him feel. It had not been a singular incident either; lately, he’d found himself saying a lot of stupid things when Lizzie was around. Whenever she was near, it was like he spoke without control.

He was broken from his thoughts by a group of students passing him by. He took a step backwards, the top of the counter hitting his back. The Weird Sisters were enticing so many people to flock to the dancefloor that even on the side of it, Orion was barely able to move. The crowd made him uncomfortable, and despite the people having a good time, he felt strangely isolated without a soul to talk to.

The group right in front of him moved, granting him a small glimpse of the dancefloor. Penny Haywood’s hair shone like a golden halo as she spun around her axis, a wide smile plastered to her face. Lizzie seemed to enjoy herself as well, jumping to the beat and singing along. The sight of her joy made the corners of Orion’s lips curl into a smile. For a fleeting moment, he considered joining her and Penny but abandoned the idea as quickly as it had arisen. Lizzie was like a butterfly on a blooming meadow, fluttering from flower to flower and spreading the beauty of her company. She could come to find him in her own time. And if she didn’t, who was he to demand her attention?

The music came to an end and the room before the makeshift stage cleared, allowing space for the couples Myron Wagtail was inviting to the dancefloor. Lizzie and Penny parted ways, and Orion’s heart lifted when Lizzie headed in his direction. She had already come halfway when, suddenly, she froze. Her head had turned to the side and, following her eyes, Orion saw why. Jason Everett - the new Beater of their Quidditch team - came pushing through the crowd towards her. 

Frowning, Orion watched him approach. His friend Murphy McNully had pointed out how Everett kept singling out Lizzie from her friends, and ever since, Orion had been unable to unsee it. Wherever she went, Everett was quick to follow; whenever there was a chance to catch her alone, he was sure to try and grab it.

He had almost reached Lizzie when she shook from her daze. Her eyes set on Orion, and with a couple of quick steps, she was by his side. Grabbing his arm, she pulled him towards the dancefloor. Equally as stunned as he was pleased, Orion followed without offering resistance. Still, he asked, “What are you doing?”

“Shamelessly using my knight in shining armour a second time, I’d say.” 

As Lizzie’s eyes switched from the spot Everett had stood in to Orion she tailed off, appearing as if she was unsure what to do next. Almost shyly, she glanced at the couples surrounding them. It was an emotion so uncharacteristic of her bright spirit that Orion extended his hand to her.

“If you dragged me here for whatever reason we could as well go with the flow.”

Lizzie blinked, staring at his hand before tentatively taking it. Their first moments dancing were awkward, both unattuned to the other’s rhythm. They had spent years together on the Quidditch pitch, however, and soon found their common ground. Once they had done so they moved effortlessly, lifted by the notes drifting from stage and the silent understanding between them. 

Orion’s hand was resting just beneath the small of her waist and he could feel her moving against his palm, her hand warm and relaxed in his. Her other hand was lying on his shoulder, and Orion was aware of every inch it moved about, of every time she let go to spin around. A tingling sensation spread from where she touched him in a most unsettling way, making him both want to be closer and step away to regain control. She stepped into him and rose to her tiptoes to say something he could barely make out over the noise. When her breath brushed over his cheek, he swore he could feel his heart skip a beat. 

Lizzie had begun to relax, her initial shyness as if eradicated. She laughed as she finished turning, stepping even closer to him than before. Unbidden, Orion’s mouth pulled into a smile that mirrored hers. Her good mood was compelling, impossible to resist, and found himself wanting more of it, wanting…

Something shifted as their eyes met. They did not stop moving and yet it felt like they were separated from the crowd, suspended in a moment so intense it was almost tangible. The music ceased to reach Orion’s ear, the only sound filling his head his rapidly beating heart. The moment could have lasted hours or less than a second; Orion didn’t know. Then Lizzie blinked, and he exhaled slowly as she dropped her eyes from his. She laughed nervously and let go of him to push away the hair that had fallen into her face. When she put her hand back into his, Orion didn’t fail to notice how she hesitated, even if only slightly.

They took up dancing again, more quietly than before. After a couple of steps, the strand of hair Lizzie had just tucked away fell back into its former place and she put it away again. Having done so a couple of times, she pulled a face and tossed her head but still her hair obscured her eyes.

When it fell across her features next, Orion raised his hand without thinking, gently taking hold of the curl and tucking it behind her ear. His fingers brushed the side of her temple as he did so and Lizzie became still, eyes flying to meet his. Orion didn’t think he’d ever noticed just how blue and clear they were, like the ocean pervaded by sunlight. There was a ring of deeper blue around her pupils, something he had never noticed before either. He wondered if her eyes were just like her, clear and bright to those who looked at the surface but with so much more underneath; things yet uncovered, things unknown to anyone who didn’t bother looking. He longed to know these things, he realised.

“I’m surprised you wear your hair like that,” he murmured, as much to put Lizzie at ease as himself. Like before, he winced at how ridiculous he sounded. “I thought you hated having it in your face.” 

��It wasn’t exactly my choice. Andre forced this mess on me.” “You should not let others dictate your appearance, especially if you don’t feel like yourself,” Orion frowned. Before he could stop himself, he added, “But for what it’s worth, I think you look beautiful.”

Lizzie blushed. Her cheeks burned such a vivid red that it was visible even over the dimmed lights. She dropped her eyes and bit her lip, and said no more. Again, Orion cursed himself for his unusual rashness. His mouth might have broken free from the control of his mind, and yet the intentions of both had been to put Lizzie at ease, not make her more uncomfortable. It made him miserable seeing her self-conscious like this, so entirely unlike the naturalness of spirit she usually commanded. He wished he had held his tongue.

They were released from the awkwardness of the situation by the song's coming to an end. Afraid Lizzie would drop his hand, Orion let go first, inclining his head with what was supposed to be an encouraging smile. He hoped Lizzie would read in what he wanted it to convey - that he didn’t want her to be uncomfortable on his behalf. That first and foremost, he was her friend and this had been nothing but - a moment between friends. A fun, beautiful, intoxicating moment that gave the spot on his shoulder where her hand had lain gravitas, and that still made his palm tingle where it had rested against her waist and…

Consciously pulling his thoughts away from the undue direction they were headed in, Orion gave Lizzie an almost imperceptible bow and turned, fleeing from the dancefloor and the crowd still pressing in on him as fast as he could without running. 

[galacticfracture]

Sanders Sides x MCR

Not necessarily art but it is a fun little SaSi related thing I decided to do! All for fun, so even though I took it way to seriously and made lists/charts, take my choices with a grain of salt~🌟

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Explaination: So, I have a playlist that's just entirely songs from MCR/Gerard way that was 75 songs, but went up to 88 while I was doing this. I one day came up with the idea that I should take that and connect every single song on it to at least 1 SaSi character~🪐

With that out of the way, if you want to find out who ended up sharing songs by listening to the mixes I made for them all, I will be linking them at the bottom of this! (So avoid the images of the lists/charts and look for the group of 6 images with different shapes; the mixes will be just under that.) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, how I did this is I basically listened through this 5 hour mix atleast twice, and wrote out a physical list of all the songs. If a character came to mind and stayed there they were then written down~

Which is why some have 1 person and others have 2/3. The order they're in here is basically whoever came up first.

Who got what was entirely based on the vibe I felt!

A lot of Logan's were dictated by this, but lyrics did come into play sometimes. Remus got a lot of solo songs for that reason, while the others came from a mix of both. (Instrumental sound could influence stuff too.)

I wasn't really thinking of shipping with the pairs for the most part by the way, but I don't really mind if people go in with any on the brain~

Some of them came to mind at the same time. Other times, the second person was a choice made later on. Same with the groups of 3!

I also made some charts tallying up how many songs they had per 'album', and I did do a set for their solo and paired songs as well. (Sorry I just like forgot to add them before editing this???)

If a song was generally from around the same time and/or it had the same kind of sound, I usually included it under an album instead of the other category. (Except I don't think I counted Bury me in Black under Revenge for some reason???)

There were not enough trios for me to do a chart like this for them but I did type them out and literally, almost all of them were from bullets--

I spent an actual full day making these charts and physically wrote the lists out twice, so I hope someone out there enjoys this!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now onto the mixes~! I did originally try and do versions of the different album covers but as the sides: it did not work out-

So I just made simple ones using the shapes I associated with them all. (Some turned out better than others-)

Mixes: Roman Janus Remus Patton Logan Virgil

Please shuffle them by the way, I did not organize them in a specific order really~!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Feel free to share your different opinions/perspectives!! I'd love to read what you guys think and if wanted I can also provide the versions of all the lists/charts with out my answers!

(The next post I make will be art don't worry! Sorry this was so long-)

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[amandadoylewriting]

The Art of Manifesting with Gratitude

How I became grateful AF.

(A reupload of my own article on vocal.media)

I only started to really hear and learn about manifestation a few years ago. I heard a lot about how there were many different ways to manifest. The way that always stood out to me was through gratitude.

The first ever method I used for manifesting was writing a gratitude letter, where I talked about what I was grateful for, as well as what I was hoping for. Then, I started to write in a manifesting journal that I had purchased, and I was delighted to see my gratitude journey continue — the book already had a section specifically focused on the gratitude aspect of manifestation.

When I took breaks from manifesting, I was somehow always incorporating gratitude into my life still. I didn't think it would do much for me, but I was able to use it as a grounding practice to help me understand what was really important in life. Without realizing it, gratitude has become a huge part of my manifestation routine, and my journey to becoming my best self wouldn't be the same without it.

The Power of Gratitude

I find it really helpful and grounding to start each day with appreciation. I write my gratitude statements in the morning, even if it's just for something small.

Countless mornings, I have written down that I was grateful for my bed. I've written down that I was grateful I got to sleep and then see the sunshine the next morning. Eventually, bigger things start to stad out to you.

The thing is, the more you practice gratitude, the easier it is to find things to be grateful for. This is because you're training your brain to behave a certain way. Practicing gratitude repeatedly provides a positive shift in mindset, resulting in increased awareness of your blessings.

I also use gratitude to manifest. I'm currently trying to find a way to make microdosing happen for me, so each morning I've been writing "I am so grateful to be microdosing mushrooms" as if it's already happening to me.

The trick is to be grateful for what you wish you had. You can turn any manifestation into a gratitude statement, from a tangible object (I am so grateful for my new car), to an intangible object (I am so grateful for my healthy relationship), to an experience (I am so grateful for the opportunity each day to meet interesting people).

The reason that gratitude is so highly recommended is because it shifts your perspective and actually begins to exercise your optimism bone.

Gratitude helped me overcome the challenges that I faced when I was getting used to parenting a new puppy. I had never done this before and it was extremely stressful. I wanted to give up many times. But each morning when I wrote in my gratitude journal, she was right there beside me. Even though she was causing me so much annoyance, how could I not be grateful for all of the love that she gave?

When I was waiting to hear back about a job that I applied for, I was feeling anxious and I was having a hard time taking my mind off of the situation. I had to consistently remind myself of something very important — the "wanting" energy does not provide the want. I would try to use gratitude to have optimism about the situation. I would try to say something like "I am so grateful for my new job" even though I never ended up getting the job. However, the universe always knows what it's doing.

Having a regular gratitude practice helped me to relax my viewpoint when it came to certain situations in my life, as I started to accept my circumstances by being grateful for what I already had, instead of just focusing on what I was missing.

A Journey of Personal Growth

Even in simple moments, gratitude can help you develop awareness and mindfulness. All you have to do is look around and notice the good that surrounds you. Gratitude shifts your mindset radically over time, therefore gradually improving your well-being, as well as helping you gain acceptance when it comes to hard situations in your life.

As you can see, it is more than beneficial.

I am starting to appreciate the small things in life so much more than I did before, even if it is still a struggle. Some days are better than others. If I don't like the way I look overall, I can at least admire that my skin is pretty nice and clear. If I feel disappointed with my progress on a project, I can usually find at least one good thing about it to be proud of.

You nurture a grateful heart through repetition. The more you do something, the more natural it becomes to you. A grateful heart will naturally nurture itself because it's able to realize how important that action is for self care.

The reason why I wanted to share my gratitude practice with everyone is because I see how it could benefit so many people with just a little bit of effort on their part.

Even though I can't tell you how to live your life, I encourage you to incorporate gratitude into your daily routine, even if you only note one small thing that you're grateful for each day.

A regular gratitude practice can not only improve your mindset by showing you all there is to appreciate, but it can also completely level up your manifestation game with just a few simple statements each day. If you knew it was that easy, wouldn't you have started this practice a long time ago?

[f0xgl0v3]

Newest Kleos Rabbit Hole

So, I started stranger things blah blah Kleos I’ll have another CJ post soon because. I might make the re-imagining 3 years after the first arc and that changes so much and I think it’s really interesting and it means I get to give Percy a break. But anyway, we’re talking about the Kleos new background character obsession. The Bryce Lawrence of my Stranger things,

Pure fuel guy. He is in the first part of season 2 of Stranger things, he has no name, nothing to him except he’s iconic and his hold on me rivals Bryce or Lucinus Junius Brutus in how much I think they’re silly. So what is Kleos here to talk about? Headcanonns. I am on the second episode of season four and like just had a breakdown. I have created this man’s life story.

Meet Derek Laurens Galanis. He is a sophomore or a junior, in that 16-17 age range. He does go to Hawkins Highschool and he lives in the trailer park with his mom and their dog. His dad isn’t really around right now but Derek doesn’t really mind too much

Derek has an older sister who goes to UC Berkeley and he wants to go to Berkeley too. He hopes to maybe get a wrestling scholarship and wants to either do like a Arts and Humanities (focusing on Mediterranean stuff- the Ancient Greek and Roman studies one on their website I’m doing my best) thing, a film and media degree, or like. Political sciences if he can’t figure it out

Derek does wrestling and plays on the basketball team during the off season. He likes wrestling a lot actually and wishes he could do it independently but doesn’t really want or know how to join a team

Derek really likes Greece. During elementary school when they were learning about Ancient Greece and the fact he was Greek came up everyone thought he was like the shit during 3rd grade and that never really left.

Does the school musicals. Can my man sing? Oh no Derek obviously can’t but he really likes doing tech work and stage management. But he has to keep it kinda on the down low with his teams

He probably also almost got sucked into Hellfire club before his sister could swoop him up (his freshman year was her senior year). Dawg did used to play DnD before he got really busy with extracurriculars. Probably played as like, one of the.. halflings(?) I don’t know stuff about DnD. He probably has shit luck though and I think that’s endearing

Derek teeters on the fine lines between the ‘freaks’ and ‘cool kids’ of this Highschool. He is on the basketball and wrestling team and is an athlete who had well known friends and a well liked sister to back him up, he gets invited to things like Tina’s Halloween party. On the flip side he does theatre, likes history, and played DnD at one point. He manages to stay in the popular circles but that puts a small strain on his relationship with the drama student body.

Brother also likes making food. Good cooking for the soul and all that stuff. Probably tried to cook something at Tina’s but failed miserably. Never forgets the punch tho/j (that’s a joke I promise)

Derek sees everything like going wild around him from an outside perspective of not knowing anything and wants it to stay that way. The wise one is the naive one

His favorite Greek like myth collection is all the ones where Heracles is just there. That’s probably why he’s dressed up as Dionysus/generic stereotypical media portrayal of Ancient Greek guy

My man, really wants a tarantula as a pet. Thinks it’d be so cool but he barely got his mom to let him name their dog like. Agamemnon or something so he’s already on thin ice

Really bad at science and math. Lil guy just does not think in numbers or absolutes. he’s also really loose on his like remembering historical dates.

Probably pen pals with his sister. She thinks it’s whatever and sweet and writes him back about all the cool stuff in Berkeley and it just makes Derek try harder to get his grades good enough to try and get it

Uhh. That’s Derek, there’s probably more if I think harder but I am also sick. So that’s what we get, also, Bryce Lawerence things to come. Sorry I haven’t made longer posts like this school has been hitting me like a truck and I’ve just been trying to like, figure stuff out but Rick isn’t making my life easier/j

I really just have to look at the actual Ancient Greek myths (not Stevenus and his random Latin translation #739282 where they change stuff/aff) and see what I can draw upon and make actual like. Cohesive stuff. Thinking about looking back on a lot more of the Heracles era because of the Argo stuff but also like, the scrambling of myth references everywhere kinda messes me up a little. Oh well, to the trenches I go :3

[one-strugling-bean]

OFMD Random Commentary (Final Thoughts)

Okay so. I finished OFMD in 3 days. Season 2 is right at the door and I'm super excited for it.

While I wait though, I thought "Why not make a huge ass essay about my thoughts on the 1st Season?" And now here we are! And trust me I have tons to say. So without further ado, let's start:

Before anything else, I want to say, I had so much fun. This show was hilarious most of the time while still easily hitting me in the feels when it needed. By the end of the season, I wanted to adopt pretty much everyone and give them whatever they wanted. The romantic relationships weren't born out of thin air (although I think Jim and Olu could've been explored a little more) and the overall vibe of the show was so freaking inviting.

Stede and Ed were very captivating and their scenes together are always so evolving. Their actors convey strong emotions so freaking well. It's like I'm right there, in their heads, as the scenes play out, and I can tell what they're feeling perfectly just by looking at their expressions.

That being said, Ed was a bit harder for me to figure out than Stede. There were a lot of scenes, especially in the beggining, where I was at a loss as to his intentions. But it works in his favor (and the viewers') because Ed is a mysterious person for pretty much every character in the show. It's fun when everyone on screen is as clueless as us. It also contributes to the welcoming vibe of the show - it's like I'm there, just as clueless and scared as everyone else, trying to figure out what exactly makes Blackbeard tick.

And speaking of everyone else! My gosh, I loved the crewmates... I think I even said that at some point in an episode, but my favorite moments of the show were just the crew interacting with each other. Separated, each of them is nice and kinda funny, but together? They gave me the best laughs of the whole show.

It was the little things. Wee John, Roach, and Frenchie messing up a cross sign(?) for Nana, the flag-sewing arts-and-crafts, the rehearsal for the Fuckery, the Fuckery itself- just, everything.

As the episodes pass, and you grow to know the characters - recognize their faces, memorize their names, figure out the traits and places they take in the crew - they also grow to know each other. In the first episode they seem to be pretty distant from each other - acquaintances at best. But by the end you realize that that's changed - and you watched it happen. In every little scene, every funny comment or near-death experience - almost imperceptible on a first watch I think. Most of the time they just seem to be fighting each other. But those bonds do happen, and not just between the romantic pairs but everyone. Even with you, the viewer.

I think that's what makes the last "we talk it through-" "as a crew!" scene, followed by (or before) Lucius reading Stede's journal out loud, so powerful. I don't think I mentioned it in my post of the episode, but it gave me chills. You get this feeling of "we came so far" that just completely warms your heart. And you can see, in each one of their faces that they're all feeling the same thing. They came full circle from the first episode - they're not just a rag-tag group of useless people anymore. They're growing closer to becoming a family, a real crew. And it's fucking amazing.

TL;DR - they figured out the Found Family trope really well. And Found Family is my kind of thing soooo.

But oh well. Nothing can be good forever - especially if that thing is a happy ending in a queer show, so the rest of episode 9 and episode 10 happen. And the feeling of betrayal starts.

From a Gentlebeard/Blackbonnet perspective, the way I see it, Ed calling out the Act of Grace for Stede is the ultimate sacrifice from Ed for Stede. In contrast, Stede abandoning Ed at the dock is the ultimate sacrifice of Ed from Stede. See the difference? What I'm trying to say? I sure hope so, because I'm not sure I do. It just seems right when I say it.

Then Ed goes to the ship and everything goes off the deep end - ft. Izzy Hands being his usual creepy self.

Izzy.... creeped me out honestly. The whole time, not just at the end. From my peak on the OFMD fandom, he seems to be a pretty loved character, but I honestly dislike him a lot. I dunno. He was creepy and awful and did many horrible things for not-that-worthy reasons and I just overall didn't vibe with him. So I guess having him be the one to break Ed felt like a big, personal slap to the face. I dunno. Just wanted to call him every name in the book, you know?

(I also decided to take personally the fact that his name is a very common nickname of my name. I'll never accept to be called Izzy again. The PTSD and rage would be too much.)

Then, of course, we have Lucius's "death". Honestly? I don't think he's dead. He is too iconic to die in the first season. There's no way the writers didn't know Lucius was gonna be a fan favorite. The cliffhanger around his death was 100% planned as a special, last-minute, sadistic gift for the fandom. It will also probably affect something in S2.

That being said, I will only feel rested when I see him alive and well, nestled in Black Pete's arms. I gasped so loud when Ed threw him out of the ship you have no idea. I was so worried. Still am. That's how important his character has become to me. To most people, probably.

(I do think I saw a bit of Lucius's face in a random shot of the S2 trailer. His alleged self is pulling at someone's legs with Frenchie. But do not tell me if I'm right. I've been trying to stay away from trailer dissections.)

Frenchie and Jim also worry me greatly, but they seem to be doing good in the S2 trailer, so that helps. (Not Frenchie conquering his fear of cats by becoming one).

As for everyone else..... God, I was so horrified about their situation until that last scene. Stede coming in the dinghy might as well have been the sighting of an angel (I like to call this feeling the Sanji-backstory-PTSD). I've come to care so much about these characters, how was this show capable of tricking me like this??

Honestly, after all is said and watched, I'm unsure if I'm glad I waited so long to watch it. Because on the one hand, I won't have to wait months and suffer from the cliffhanger like most of you guys did (I feel for you all). On the other, I'm afraid I might've missed a few years of glorious fandom history and events.

I dunno, it's complicated.

(Send me links to all the best fanfics you can find - as long as they're in English and have at least 2000 words I'll take them).

But yeahhhhhhhhhhh, think this might be it for now. I don't know if I'll repeat the Commentary for S2- would you like that? If I get enough responses, Ig I will ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But in any case, for now, I close. Hope you had as much reading my reactions as I did watching this show.

Have a nice day! ^^

[ltwharfy]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤

Awww, thanks for thinking of me! Honestly, it's a little hard to limit it to five as there are definitely other stories of mine that I really love. (Also, I wanted to make sure it wasn't just a list of Roudise stories.) So except for the first one, the rest of this could change any time:

"And in the Backseats We Just Tried to Find Some Room to Breathe"- My episode tag to "The Amazing Rudy" detailing Rudy, Louise, and Sylvester's drive home. That episode means so much to me and I think this fic did a good job of capturing the characters and the vibe of the episde. The end conversation between Sylvester and Rudy is the most personally meaningful thing I've put in any of my fics. And I love the title! I was so glad I finally found a chance to use Gaslight Anthem song lyrics for a "Bob's Burgers" fic title.

"Happy Anniversary (Whenever It Is)"- The other fic I wrote within a week of "The Amazing Rudy" airing. I really love how Rudy an Louise's relationship has grown over the show, and I love putting callbacks to the show in my fic, so I just found writing (and re-reading) this story with teenage Louise and Rudy looking back at some of their adventures together to be an absolute joy. In some ways, it reminds me of the framing story to a "clip show" on an old sitcom, but I actually kind of love that! Also, it inspired @devilh0rnsinc to draw this amazing piece of art which is one of the coolest things that's happened to me in fandom!

"For the Boy Who Has (Allergies to) Everything"- My little prologue to "House of 1,000 Bounces" detailing how Louise came up witht he idea of getting Rudy the pepper spray holster for his inhale. Although kind of a platonic Roudise fic, Rudy's not actually in it and Louise's interaction is primarily with her siblings (and Sgt. Bosco) and that was really a joy to write. Belcher sibling interaction may be my favorite thing about the show, but I think this is the only time I've really written it in a fic. But I think I did a good job with it! Some of Gene's lines in particular crack me up, even though I wrote them.

"Loneliness Comes Around Again"- My character study of Sylvester Stieblitz that I wrote for See More Seymour's Week. I'm just proud of how well this turned out given what a minor character it was focused on. I think it managed to develop Sylvester really well while still feeling consistent with what we've seen of him onscreen. And it was nice to have an opportunity to address some middle-aged concerns in a BB fic without having to write a future where the kids' lives turn out to be depressing (a lot of Sylvester's thoughts on dating here mirror my own, even though I'm not a divorced dad.)

"According to Habermetrics" - My first non-Roudise fic, it is also my least popular fic (by hits) but I love it! It tells the story of Henry and Susmita's first date from his perspective and I just feel I did a good job getting into his head, taking one of my favorite jokes from the show and turning it into a way to better understand a minor chracter. And I love the nerdy references to sci-fi and really science that I put into it. Henry and Susmita are great and I hope I come up with another idea for them in the future!

Thanks again for the ask! I'll try to send it on to some other folks later today!

[handrawntv]

360 panorama log

okay this is weird but i have a summer goal to make a new 360 panorama with animations, and i thought it might be effective and helpful to log my process on my blog along the way!!!!! both for myself and possibly to finally make the process video i’ve been meaning to make since creating my first animated 360 panorama

i’m gonna put the rest under a read more for those interested, and will be tagging future logs with #destinyisland360:

so the goal for this scene is to make a sort-of fan art environment rendering of destiny islands, inspired by our work on kingdom hearts wednesdays and also because 1) i wanted to create a beach scene ANYWAY, want to animate elements of the beach ANYWAY such as waves washing on shore, trees waving in the wind, etc. 2) i’m always inspired by the skyboxes in kh 3) it’ll be extra nice to have the 3d space within the game to use as reference AND 4) i’ve been meaning to do a series where i attempt to do some digital painting/animating using video game environments as reference!!!!! i’m hoping by publicly posting these updates it’ll keep me motivated to keep archiving it, and will also naturally help me keep track of everything for when i want to make a process video/share my process in the future.

so anyway, today i set out to begin the process. it started with gathering my assets: the equirectangular grid

and also getting some good reference footage from within the game (tried out picking sword and GIVING UP STAFF in homage to our fail staff run on the channel)

after getting the references set, i jumped into photoshop with my grid loaded up and started drawing out a rough layout, using that footage as my guide:

thankfully the process came back to me pretty well from when i did it for my capstone a few years back. from here, i will continue refining the placement and perspective of all the aspects of the scene i want, testing it out as i go within the 3D viewer of photoshop!

i tried roughly coloring in where everything is, because color tends to help me see and refine better!!

i’m gonna take a break today now and come back to it with fresh eyes. over time, i’ve learned this is a much better way of catching mistakes than trying to power through for hours at a time ejsdkbgjksdbgjksd next, i’m gonna try to improve the placement and scale of everything as a whole now that i have the roughed out layout in

[jellimac-sims-stories]

Simfluencer

Jellimac

---

Chapter 2

I love that I live in the city now. Each day brings a new influence. The people, the food, the art, and the architecture. Everything is so different from Oasis Springs. It's exactly what I was hoping for. Every day is so inspiring! Or it could be that there are a lot of things around with an inspiring emotional aura. Either way, I’ve been nonstop painting since I got here. 

What I don'tWhat I don't love is that my pieces don't seem to sell. I tried selling a few of my older pieces to make room for new ones at the flea market outside my building my first weekend here. Only one sold. I left feeling really disappointed. It took me a few days to get over it. Probably doesn't help that I’m trying to sell art outside of the art museum. 

My art style is mainly pop and abstract but only my realism paintings have sold for any significant amount. Back home I used to mostly sell paintings from references of people’s vintage cars from Moonlight Falls and Roaring Heights or landscapes of Glimmerbrook and Old Town. I thought the move out to the city would help me get a new perspective and hopefully new customers. That's all anyone ever talks about when they want to become a famous fashion designer or artist, you know. Going to the city. Becoming inspired in some new way. Gain new customers and become so famous that your pieces sell for motherloads. I`d like to say that money isn’t my motivator but a little padding in the bank wouldn’t hurt.

Jonah is basically the only person who had ever purchased my original pieces. He’s posted about it on his social pages and his fans did like it. Not as much as they liked his shirtless pictures but I did get a few followers from his posts. He’s also donated a few of my pieces to his fans. For him, it's a good way to gain more fame. His fans do seem to love the paintings but I'm sure if it's only because they got them from him. Did I forget to mention that he's a major celebrity? The only one in Oasis Springs. He’s really made a good name for himself and I appreciate all that he does to get mine out there as well.

I’m not completely internet illiterate; I already have an insta, twitter, and a website, but Jonah has been bugging me to make everything more streamlined so after several texts back and forth one afternoon we set everything up. I am now the proud manager of a social media empire named Cosmickitty; since that was already my nom de plume. 

I took my new empire for a test drive. A few photos of my new downtown area, photos of my work around my apartment, inspirational quotes, and some cute selfies shamelessly self-promoting my other pages on each platform as I went. Over the next few days, I watched as twitter followers followed my insta and insta followers followed by twitter. Notification of new followers and likes came chiming in. I guess maybe this wasn't such a bad idea. 

I had almost fifty followers by the end of the first week. The pics of the city got a few likes and the selfies too mostly from tattoo pages saying they like my ink or asking if I could model for them. A few of my posts of me painting got the attention of the other artist flea markets in the area. KryticZeuz invited me to sign up for the flea market in the Spice Market. Thinking it couldn’t be worse than the last flea market, I snagged a street gallery wall for an upcoming weekend and I tweeted that I’d be there. 

The Spice District has a totally different vibe from the Arts Quarter. Honestly, I feel that this should be the Arts Quarter; murals everywhere, everything is so colorful from the building to the food to the people. Looking around I can’t help thinking that I probably should have moved here instead but I knew I wouldn’t want to run into Josh’s ex-girlfriend who lives here. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I don’t like that woman. 

The flea market here was very different from the one near my apartment. Less art and more handcrafted or collected items. The table next to me was full of crystals. I bought a rare alexandrite from Selvadorada while I waited for buyers to come up to my stall. I was beginning to have the same experience that I’ve had in the past in terms of selling but then this one guy came up to my selling wall that I didn’t expect. He didn’t even look like the type to shop at a flea market. He was a few shakes away from tall, dark, and handsome. Yeah, he was tall but lean and perfectly dressed with chestnut brown locs that had the sort of style that is meant to look messy on purpose. Way too sophisticated for my style. 

It’s a borderline heatwave this Sunday but there he was looking fresh and cool in his suit as he perused my art pinned up for sale. He looked as if he’d just come from some important meeting about something really important for someone really important with some important people. He had that sort of air about him even with his suit jacket open and a few buttons on his dress shirt unbuttoned. I took a deep breath, told myself to not be intimidated, and queued up my best sales pitch as I approached him, “Hello sir. I'm glad you've come by my display today. Is there any piece in particular that you'd like to know more about?”

“I like your figure painting but I'm afraid I like pieces that have much more...interesting subjects,” his voice was much deeper than I would have anticipated and I caught a hint of a southern drawl...

Can't wait for more? Read the whole story on my AO3

[gunsli-01]

Hi bestie hope you're doing well

Any new shidou theorys you have?

I'm doing alright for the most part. I hope you've been doing well too. Though @apatchworkstar would be better to go to for Shidou theories. She hit the nail on the head when she said he'd be getting Delusion Tax this trial. My thoughts are scattered across a lot of things right now. Especially when it comes to Milgram.

I had been waiting to see Mahiru's cd art to work out some thoughts when it came to the prisoners' doors. It seems the verdicts impact how immaculate a prisoner's door is. When Futa's door came out i believed that the graffiti on it more represented the victims of his actions and the centered word Pressure was being used to represent the gazes of the audience.

The only things on Futa's door that seem representative of him is the coloring of the word Pressure and the flammable warning label. So, I wanted to see Mahiru's door to see if this would be a consistent thing. Which seems to be the case.

Mahiru's door is pretty but looks to be a place that was abandoned a long time ago. Areas of it appearing stained and rusted over with plants coiling around the entrance. The most interesting thing about Shidou is how his door compares to Mahiru's.

I think the thing that best describes the feeling their doors give me is the quote from the beginning of Pandora Hearts, "Someone once said it was a dark place that swallowed everything up, but it wasn't as if there was never any light there."

If Milgram has compared Mahiru to the sun then Shidou would be the moon and that's perfectly represented when their trial two cd art is shown side by side. Shidou's face is surrounded by a calm pale glow of light remniscent of the certain serenity one would only find during the time of day where yesterday isn't quite yesterday and today has yet to become today.

Just like he says in Throw Down "I don’t feel scared because I don’t know." He's calm because he doesn't know. There's a serenity in ignorance that has been overshadowed by the idea of fearing the unknown. Yet, there are many times in a person's life where they'll find solace in not knowing something because sometimes not knowing something is better than acquainting yourself with it.

Like with Shidou he says, "I finally understand the value of what I've been robbing people of." Yet, understanding such a thing certainly wouldn't bring a person peace. Throw Down is all about how one's morality and trying to do the right thing is a delusion people hold onto in order to comfort themselves.

Something drenched in so much subjectivity that what another person finds wrong could very well be right to someone else. The back and forth between those states of understanding. Understanding that all ethics is when cut down to its barest form is humans trying to delude themselves into believing they've done the right thing through reasons created by humans. It's just a higher level of justifying one's own beliefs and choices. So, just as easily as it can be picked up, it can also be thrown down.

It only means what the individual wants it to mean and we all pay the tax for believing what we believe eventually whether it's a delusion or not. Sorry, got sidetracked there. The thing that showcases this sun/moon comparison between Mahiru and Shidou are the plants on their doors. Shidou's are withered and wilting as though they haven't seen sunlight in ages despite the glow around Shidou himself. While the ones gripping Mahiru's door are clearly still alive as a warm light shines down atop Mahiru's head.

Shidou tends to be associated with flower preservation. So, him having dead flowers isn't surprising. He's shown to enjoy preserving things even after they've died in Throw Down. This could easily represent how Shidou isn't really interested in things outside of a superficial perspective. How he wants to preserve only the good aspects of his partner or harvest only the best parts for them.

This leads into the double meanings behind the prisoners covers. Each song that a prisoner has covered so far has had a double meaning. Delusion Tax for Shidou for example could allude to him deluding himself into believing he had more of a relationship with the person he was allegedly trying to save than he did.

However, it also plays into his delusion around being a doctor. Thinking that just if he studied medicine, he could save people and do right by society. Something heavily displayed in the lyric, "That's right, for all these dirty delusions let's settle the bill with this dirty money."

So, I have two theories. Shidou was definitely organ trafficking to make money on the side of being a doctor. However, why he was doing so still alludes me and how he was being provided with the bodies is also incredibly suspect.

The first thing that could have happened is he was a shady doctor who worked with criminals on the side and sometimes helped hurry organ collection along by botching surgeries. Yet, one day when he was called in to get organs out as usual it was someone he knew on the table. However, Shidou doesn't seem like the sort to get into something like that without there being some way for him to gain as well.

So, he could have also got into it to get access to organs himself to help someone he cares about with a layer of protection if he were to slip up one day. It's not that difficult for him to give organs he found unfit to any shady organization who may want them for some semblance of protection. Though to be honest Shidou is a bit of an outlier to me. It's a bit hard for me to relate to him on any level because he's just so flippant about even recognizing himself.

It's like he just doesn't care regardless of which way his verdict goes and only started to care about being innocent in order to keep giving medical aid to other prisoners. So, I'm at this point where I know he's bad but he clearly values human life and I'm interested in knowing what would make him begin to wonder what the weight of a life is in Throw Down. Because at least to me to come to the conclusions Shidou has about ethics well it shows that at a point he really did care about those things and I want to know what made him throw that away.

Though he could have also never cared about those things. Like he's hard to read which is why I said I probably wouldn't be voting on him unless there are some very concrete revelations. I'd need to see his song a few times and have the voice drama translation before giving a deliberation on him this trial.

Ah he's rather difficult because slippery cold people like that are hard for me to deal with. It just feels like he doesn't care about much and he's just taking things as they go like he gave up long before ending up in Milgram and that's a difficult type for me. He could also just be a cannibal which at this point seems like a bit of a low hanging fruit.

I feel like his music video is going to be really fucked up though. I'd really just have to say Shidou is too much like Jack Vessalius for me to really get a feel for yet or make an opinion on. It seems like he just reflects what the person he's speaking to wants to see. I don't know what he cares about or stands for and how easily he switched from vote me guilty to vote me innocent is questionable.

To anyone that has read Pandora Hearts that may be taken as an insult for those who haven't I'm basically saying Shidou has yet to show his true colors and I don't know if he ever will. He seems fake as hell to be honest. Like I know Kazui is meant to be the one good at lying but Mahiru and Shidou seem really good at hiding their true selves.

I hope this makes sense. I was in a bit of a rush. I really want to see what Shidou cares about and not what he believes society would want him to care about and I still haven't seen that so he's just a difficult case for me...

[sondersketches]

Sonder Sketch (June 14, 2024), Prompt: Crook

This is a digital sketch/painting done using an oil paint brush and a pen brush. It was drawn in the free Sketches app on Android with a generic phone stylus, for a prompt from the Sketch a Day app/site that provides daily drawing prompts and has a generally kind community.

The prompt was "crook," so I drew a corvid thief taking a new treasure back to its nest and singing a "crooked" note in victory. I wanted more focus on the corvid than the human, but I don't have much experience trying to draw perspective or create an illusion of distance. I drew the initial tree to set the scale and the human in as little detail as possible to seem far away. I then drew the other trees to reinforce the sense of distance. I think I ended up implying that the human is as tall as a tree, but I at least made it clear the the corvid has made it safely out of their reach. I also tried to set the scene by drawing several pieces of jewelry in the bird's nest, including a brooch and a set of earrings. I hoped this would make it clear that the bird is holding a necklace, since it thematically matches with the accessories that have already been stored in its nest. The perspective isn't great, the jewelry shapes and colors are somewhat unclear, the human is too large and should have slightly more detail to indicate that it's a person rather than a far-off shape, and the leaves of the main tree could be much more effective integrated into the tree itself.

That said, I am proud of some things in this piece. I think the bird itself came out well -- almost exactly how I wanted, in fact. The placement of its wings and tail are clear, it's beak is expressive, its feet look proportionally reasonable, and the head/crest feathers have the flair and charm I was trying to give to this little thief. I also think the music note, despite being meaningless to me as an actual note because I can't read music, looks good and clearly communicates that a musical sound of some kind is happening. The speech bubble looks cleaner than most I try to do, too. The nest is also very clearly a nest. I'm also proud of my color mixing for the sun, with that stripe of orange inside the yellow adding a nice vibrance and variety to the background, and the way the small flowers in the grass look.

Overall, this is both a piece that reminds me how much I still have to learn about making good art in the technical sense and a piece that reminds me what fun things I can make if I just draw what I want.

[tonispencerart]

When Art Goes 'Wrong' - part one

I'm sure we've all done it at some point. We get tempted, especially in the age of social media and constant sharing of content, of only talking about and sharing the 'good' stuff or the art we're proud of. It's not 'cool' or whatever to show off the mess and the mistakes... But, with reference to one of my previous posts (the four portraits on wooden slices), it took a LOT to get there. It was definitely a very steep learning curve! Before I settled on the idea of Theatre - and the overall concept of Human Life as Theatre - I was caught between the Burlesque idea and Shakespeare, in part (OK, a lot, but for the 'wrong' reasons) the series 'Will'. If you're actually curious, it is on Amazon Prime (for a price, I should warn you...) but I would strongly recommend approaching with caution. Be prepared to swear a lot. I know it wasn't intended to be accurate but they didn't even try... Anyway... That very thing actually gave me an idea I could sort of run with. It struck me that the creative decisions made were as interesting as they were irritating. Human Life is as much a theatre performance as, well, a theatre performance. The series tells a story of Theatre from the viewpoint of theatre - and not just from a performance perspective, but behind the scenes and the people involved directly and indirectly. I kind of get what they were trying to do, but it just didn't hit the right spots for me. But, I got there in a really weird way. Towards the end of the previous year, the first part of Stranger Things season 4 came out. I was actually in an online meeting that day and I was willing the tutor to stop talking! I watched the whole thing in one sitting and literally didn't move from the sofa the entire time! But it also sparked an idea that I was reminded of months later. I made some notes about the character of Henry Creel/Vecna, specifically, but the idea applied to a few characters, really. The idea was originally about Masks, Pretence, and Trickery. And really, if you think about it, theatre is based on a similar concept. Theatre isn't supposed to be real, though, in my opinion, it should be realistic. But it's a space for storytelling and playing roles. The idea was to paint 'Henry Creel' on one side and the other side was supposed to have a tiny portrait of Vecna (or rather, the point where Henry would begin to lose any remaining humanity). And, in Shakespeare's day, the theatre was a space where you could question and criticise those in power and get away with it! I'll explain more about the Why next time. It is my hope to use it as a way to explain some of my processes when I'm working with ideas and concepts. But, before I got there, I was playing with something else. And it went so very wrong... It was a mess and I was mad as heck at it. The photos below are only part of the process...

The first attempt was using liquid acrylic. In all honesty, I should have guessed before I started, but I didn't. And it went wrong within seconds of starting. The paint sank into the wood instantly. Huge error on my part! So then I tried 'regular' acrylic paint and I made even more mess when I tried to blend it. I said many many bad words! I didn't document the first try with acrylic paint because I was furious with it.

So then when I got home, I studied all of the things on YouTube trying to work out where I went wrong. Turns out, I needed PVA glue and Gesso and Sandpaper. Let me tell you - it blew my mind and changed my life! Cue several days of prepping wooden slices! It took a while to get it how I wanted but it was so worth it. The next hurdle was image transfer. I initially wanted my background to be black so I tried several ways of putting an image onto a black surface. The pencil was an instant fail. The chalk transfer also failed but I quite liked the effect, even though it was utterly useless. I then spent a small fortune on proper transfer sheets. The yellow was the most successful. I quite liked this, too. And I thought I'd cracked it. But when I tried it on the wooden slices (minus the black paint because I changed my mind about how to paint it) it didn't take on the wood. Cue even more sweary words!

[dream-diary-of-a-random-person]

Another Mixed Bag - 8/9/2023

I had several dreams last night. Some I remember more than others.

1. I'm not sure where I was, but I was walking with a guy in the hallway of some building that was oddly colored (I believe the main colors were oranges, reds, and purples). He began to warn me about some kind of entity (a spirit, I believe) that should be ignored. If its actions were acknowledged, it would become more hostile and cause worse and worse things to happen to the person. However, he said that this being could be befriended, which would make it no longer have ill-will towards the person it was following.

Not long after the warning was given, I could tell something appeared behind me and began to follow me. I was able to catch a glimpse of it (via dream perspective shift) and it turns out the being I was warned about was Moon. The way he was dressed was a bit fancy (I can't remember the outfit well, but I believe he had a hooded caplet on with gold trim, and the rest of his outfit also has some form of gold trim/detailing). His face was also a bit more simplified.

Me and the guy continued to walk. I could tell Moon was trying to intimidate me as he followed (he spoke to me threateningly and I could hear him moving behind me), however I ignored him.

At some point in the dream I saw the guy and Moon outside talking normally. It seemed they were friends with each other (which would make the advice the guy gave me make sense).

At another point in the dream, I was alone with Moon following me once again. He was trying to get me to speak to him, telling me that it wouldn't count as me paying attention to him if I talked to him. I ended up doing so. Thankfully, he was telling the truth about that.

Not sure if this was before or after that, but he caught a large spider. I think he planned on releasing it in my room, so I went to my room, closed and locked the door, and stuck a towel under the door so there wouldn't be a gap big enough for the spider to crawl through.

Notes 1: - The spider was a marbled orbweaver, which I have seen twice in real life. - I think Moon's haunting my dreams now. Someone help me. (/j)

2. I was at high school again. In this dream, I was walking around visiting some of my old teachers. It seemed to be during school hours, since I saw a full classroom that one of my teachers had been standing outside of to talk to previous students. While I walked, I tried to think of what teachers I wanted to visit. I thought about visiting my art teachers, but then I felt like I would cry because I'd be sad to say goodbye to them. I decided against visiting them because of it. I tried to tell myself I'd be able to see them again, but it didn't work.

Notes 2: - My gym teacher and two art teachers were there. I believe my marine biology teacher was also there. All the others were random people I didn't know.

3. My laptop screen has broken, so I began to pry it off to replace it. I used either a crowbar or the nail-remover side of a hammer to do so. I told my brother (who was watching me do this) that I hoped I wouldn't break anything important inside my laptop. I managed to get the screen off, and I could hear bits of plastic and glass move inside it when I tried to shake out the loose bits from the rest of the laptop. Underneath the screen was how the inside of the bottom part of the laptop should be (battery, disk drive, etc.). I ended up messing with the headphone jack a bit, which came out very easily. It needed to just be stuck into another port inside to properly install it, so I looked at my dad (who was also there) and talked a bit about how easy it would be to replace.

Notes 3: - This was apparently the second time I had replaced the screen on the laptop. - The laptop ended up looking more like a tablet at the end of the dream. - I have thought about replacing the headphone jack of my real laptop.

4. In this dream, I had a bunch of things I had bought online, as well as stuff I had been looking through to get rid of. One of the things I wanted to get rid of was a set of woven baskets with some woven and wooden dolls inside. My mom talked me out of it by accident, since I remembered that they used to belong to my grandma and were given to me as a gift.

There was something I wanted to order (I believe a pumpkin with a cute face on it?) and my mom kinda got annoyed with me, telling me I only wanted things for the sake of wanting something. I ended up not getting the thing, though I still did want it.

At one point I had some shoes and other clothing items I was looking through. Half of what I had I decided to return. I don't remember much of what was there, but there was a pair of shoes that were purple, grey, white, and black. They were flats with a heart on the toe. I believe one half of the shoes were purple, the other white, the sole black, and the heart half black half grey. I kept them, despite them being a bit too big for me.

Notes 4: - I only remember small fragments of this dream. - I have some angel "dolls" made in the same way the ones in the dream were. I got them from my dead grandmother's house. - Yes, the shoes were the colors of the asexual pride flag. - I think there was another part of this dream that had some witches I was trying to scare away or something, but I don't remember it enough to write about.

[yoiasa]

I've always wondered about knd's opinions and thoughts about asamom tbh. we don't really get that much info about it, she didn't really speak that much when mfy talked about her on two occasions, and people kind of assume that she's on the same page as mzk and en, that knd also sees her as a terrible parent.

I would think the same, if it wasn't for this one small moment in one of knd’s card stories that made me think otherwise and has been on my mind for quite some time now. that perhaps knd might see asamom in a somewhat positive viewpoint (compared to mzen's and to us viewers)

tldr: with asamom eventually finding out her daughter’s music friend and will go have a nice “friendly chat” with said friend will be inevitable at this point considering this is what the events have been building up, just like in ena’s event where mfy’s worldview about her family has slowly been shaken once she’s in the shinonome household, i do hope that kanade too would experience the same thing, in order to truly understand what mafuyu's going through

in the 2nd side story of knd’s lost child card mfy logged in early and the two of them talked. about what happened when mfy got home, what’s her mother’s reaction, as well as her announcing that she won’t be attending their nightly meetings that much. 

her reaction, and her response to mfy are the ff:

(Translations by Magica on Youtube)

yeah...

if you know that your friend's mom is a shitty parent then i don't think that this is gonna be your reaction. now i know that knd isn’t really the type of person who will pry too much on someone's life or feelings if they seemed uncomfortable in sharing it (sure there was that one time in the marionette event, but she learned from it afterwards). however, mzk and en managed to get a grasp of mfy's situation despite mfy not really telling them the whole context on why she seems down and terrified, so why not knd ?

one main factor of this is because of kanade’s upbringing. she came from a family who raised her with love and care and she treasures her memories with them, even if her time with her mother has been a fleeting one and her only living parent is currently in a state where he cannot recognize her. their love for her is genuine, and they don't impose their own values to her.

that is where her bias lies.

so perhaps in knd’s perspective asamom is just an overprotective but loving mother who’s may be a little too overbearing to her daughter, and not a parent who pushes what she wants on others, one who controls her child's actions to make sure that she's the perfect daughter to the point that it suffocates their child.

contrasting to mzk and en who had some experiences and can relate to mfy's current situation to some extent. mzk's family seems to be supportive of them, but they know the feeling of always being pressured to fit into other people's expectations of you, and being ostracized if you didn't, and en with her dad trying to discourage her to pursue art which ends up into losing her confidence and self-worth in both of her art and as a person.

which is why i believe ena helping mafuyu was very crucial for the latter in that she manages to somehow shaken mfy’s perspective and how she slowly starts to realize that her mother might not be as loving as she might have initially thought and that she’s slowly having doubts about her. not fully. but the seeds have been planted in her mind. not to say that kanade’s support isn’t good or isn’t helping at all or anything, it’s just that it’s not the most appropriate one in her current situation. there's only so much she can do. there's only so much that they can do.

(i mean ofc the best ideal help that mfy would be getting is family counseling and therapy but that's currently not accessible to her. will the game even acknowledge this at all, even just a passing offhanded mention ?)

knd knows that mfy seems to be suffering, yes, but she knows that asamom is important for mfy as well. even if she does know the full context, i don't think that knd will risk severing the familial bonds that mfy has with her mother

kind of ironic that the person who’s the most understanding to her, the one who wants to know her better, is the one who understands her the least here.

they may be connected together in their shared despair, and that both of them may be similar with having struggles with their parents but it's clear that their experiences are different as yoi and asa

i have no doubts that knd will realize that asamom isn't a good parent at some point and that she’s primarily if not the main reason why mfy’s suffering and is currently who she is. with the potential yoi event looming in just a few days, this scenario might happen. i do believe it's a bit early that asamom will confront her though (the event ending in a cliffhanger where she finally found out her child's music friend could be a possible outcome). but the upcoming event could be the turning point, where she will slowly figure out asa's situation, and it's where she will realize that not all parents were as loving and warm as hers, and her established beliefs about it will be challenged. she needs to have an eye-opening scenario in order to fully understand what mfy's going through right now

because in order to truly understand a person, you must put yourself in their shoes, and that involves working out your own beliefs and personal biases

[hopefulcanary]

Do you have any drawing tips for semi-beginners hoping to improve drawing people? 🙏

Draw at least once a day, even if you don't feel like it. Artistic skill is 5% raw talent and 95% stubborn af bull-headed "fuck you I'm mad that I can't draw a 3/4 head so I am gonna draw it a hundred times until I get it right"

Do drawing warmups– straight lines from the shoulder, spirals and circles and cubes, things that get your muscles, well, warmed up. Even if this is all you can draw that day, you're still gaining fine motor control.

Copy from old school masters. I literally, 100% do mean "sit your butt down and freehand a copy of whatever famous painting/sculpture/piece you're gaga for". Critically analyze how these artists drew the human form. Why do you enjoy these artists' works? What would you like to learn from them? I'm not a great colorist, so I enjoy studying how other artists utilize light and color.

Listen to Jack Kirby's advice:

Use references. All the time. Every damn day. Download stock photos that look cool and try drawing them. Take photos of yourself, your friends and fam and draw them. Feel weird because smug little assholes cry that "that's cheating", or folks make fancy jpgs of how you have to change a certain percent of the pose/hair/face/the way the shirt is flowing on your friend's body because exact life-drawing studies are "copying" now??? References are how artists work successfully and grow as artists. So you know, fuck them.

"Stock photo [person] [action]" is a life saver for finding poses to practice on

Use grids if you need to. Our predecessors did. Hell, they used crazy things like the camera obscura to make the perspective of their paintings correct. Programs like Procreate literally have grid guides to help.

Just completely stuck on a body part and frustrated that you can't get it to look right? Trace it. You have my permission. Trace it to get the form right, then try free-handing it again. You'll probably nail it. MAGIC. This is not "cheating".

(Don't trace stuff and pass it off as yours/use it for final pieces* unless your style is literally rotoscoping, a perfectly valid art form. Like, know your work and take pride in it.)

Related to that, don't feel married to a particular "style". Learn the basic foundations, then Experiment. Do those "draw my character in [X] style" memes. Flexibility will help you be kinder to yourself. Push your limits.

Redraw old work, so you can see how much you've improved.

Everything about a person can be broken down into basic shapes. Don't feel like you have to draw all the body contours perfectly the first time, and don't feel married to your first drafts. Revise, revise, revise.

Be kind to yourself. Seriously. Allow yourself to be patient with yourself. Adults in particular are so hard on themselves when it comes to drawing, when we don't need to be.

*On the topic of tracing:

Want to know where you CAN trace all the live long day? Your own work. "What?" Yes. Good god, yes. Light boxes exist in meat space for a reason! Layers in digital programs exist for a reason! So you doodled two different pics of Bucky Barnes and you love his face on one but hate it on another? C&P that sucker over or draw off that. Make a new layer above the mess. Finesse the Winter Soldier into complying cuz he's an obedient boy. It's your vision, go HAM.

On the subject of "Originality":

Andrew Loomis' Figure Drawing For All It's Worth is a solid read that goes into the specifics of how to draw people, going into anatomy and breaking down bodies and faces into shapes and lines. Part of my improvement came when I stopped stressing out about the whole image (at least at first) and took things section by section.

It might seem a little dense and intimidating at first, but it's so much better than a lot of the "how to draw" stuff on the market today.

This is also dense af but I hope it helps!

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E129 (March 16, 2021)

Tonight’s guests are Matt Mercer and Taliesin Jaffe!

Matt, on DMing Luc’s Revivify: “That was weird. It’s one thing when it happens because of player action and circumstances and the choices they make. When it’s entirely on me, unintentional, and just realizing different chess pieces you’ve set up, that’s rough.” It was especially rough since this was a child NPC related to a PC. “I was hoping somebody had a spell slot left.” He kept in mind that there are two clerics in the room and that they could resurrect the next day even if the Revivify went poorly. “A good chance, since it’s his first time. Okay, okay, okay, okay, I think we’ll be okay, we’ll see how this goes. It was really stressful in the moment! I did not set out to have that happen, but when I realized what was going to happen, I tried to see it through.” He wouldn’t have prevented a chance to bring him back. “There may have been an offshoot short-run series of games to find a way to bring him back. I would have found some way to correct the circumstance so the players could feel good about moving forward with the story and there was no undue punishment beyond their control.”

Taliesin on Cad’s response: “This is a big thing if you’re a cleric. It was very much coming in like an EMT. Everything should be fine... hopefully. Just focused in and got it done. The minute things started to go south it was like, okay, that’s the next problem.”

On Yeza’s feelings: “It is a very complicated situation. I think he, much like how Veth is trying to figure out what it is that she wants, I think he’s trying to help her find that while also figuring it out for himself. I think Yeza’s also noticing that because Veth’s the more active of the two of them she also takes the weight of the responsibility and the blame for things when they go wrong, unnecessarily. Especially when he himself acknowledges that he’s partially at fault for even dragging everyone in with the Conclave. As much as he’s appreciative for them coming back for him, there’s a lot of back and forth. He’s filled with a lot of regret, too, but he’s very much trying to convince Veth that it’s a burden that she doesn’t have to keep to herself, that they can share it and work through it together.” Matt mentions that, as an actor, he really loves exploring interactions between characters first and foremost. “Especially when you don’t know where it’s going to go.” He also praises Sam as a scene partner - “I really cherish that.”

How does Caduceus feel about Revivify and Speak with Dead? “Speak with Dead is an interesting middle ground, because he knows that it’s not actually speaking with the dead. It’s really just-- it’s almost medical, really. This is just reactivating a brain at a certain point. It’s practically just a muscle twitch at this point. That doesn’t really prod him in that direction. Revivify is interesting, because it had never really come up. At first I thought of it as bending the rules, but it’s not bending the rules. You knock over a plant, you replant it, you don’t stare at it and go ‘Well, that’s over.’ This is just doing the work. No, we can bring this thing back to health. This is all part of the circle of life, that sometimes we can save something. Especially given the stress that he’s put himself through over the past year of being with these people. He’s started to think of himself a bit as a battlefield medic, and triage is just part of the deal, and it’s completely acceptable.”

Did Trent really just want to talk? “Yeah, that circumstance, as it came together, Trent would never have arrived if there wasn’t an indication that there was some kind of infiltration or attack. Even beyond that, it was Jester breaking the concentration on her charm on that one guard when she created her duplicate.” The guards’ job is to inform a member of the Cerberus Assembly, and Trent lived the closest. “He didn’t know who it was, didn’t have any expectation necessarily. The minute he saw the illusion, he knew a powerful magic user was involved.” Seeing Caleb was an unexpected surprise. “I don’t think he wanted to throw down necessarily. He was more interested in figuring out exactly what the nature of this was.” Matt had multiple battlemaps that didn’t get used. “They managed to cleverly out-maneuver him in his surprise of seeing them.” The Nein rocketed up his priority list after that very quickly. Taliesin: “We’re so fucked.”

On Cad being “Uncle Caduceus” to Luc: “It’s the thing he misses most about home, is being a juvenile shit. It’s nice to be able to express that part of him again, as opposed to the serious, life-threatening, constant intensity. I’m very at home just being a little difficult.”

Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Beau! (_rumor_king, photography by kourtyardproductions on Instagram)

On Marion: “Like a lot of people in this whole narrative from the beginning, getting swept up in things larger than her and trying to adapt. This is a circumstance she’s avoided for a long time. She’s having a rough time in some ways, but simultaneously, she’s enduring. Like a mother would. She’s adapting, she’s making it work. Without much of a choice, you just kind of do the best you can and lean on the people around you to help you where they can. Luckily she has a daughter there. She’s probably surprising herself at how well she’s doing given the circumstances.” Matt talks about how weird it is to feel proud of character he’s created. “Of the many things Marion is incredible at, she’s a studier of the human condition. She’s seen and heard the stories of so many. That gives her a very special perspective. She can see elements of that fractured individual within Caleb, and knowing the good that he’s brought to his friends, and knowing he’s possibly saved her life from bad circumstances, she couldn’t not speak up. She very easily falls into that role of maternal comforter, because it’s one of the many things she’s really good at, she enjoys it, and she can see well when people need it.” He’s been enjoying having Marion along for this (despite the difficult circumstances) because he was always a little sad that they only got to see her for short periods of time.

On the Blooming Grove’s safety: “He’s afraid that it’s a premonition. He’s not pinned it down, but he’s happy to let his imagination wander. He at the very least feels like there’s a reason he’s having these thoughts, and that there’s a reason to go there. He’s a big believer that these things don’t just happen. He’s more likely to think that there’s a good reason to go versus a danger to go. He’s had a couple of ominous warnings lately, and he’s not used to them and not a fan. He’s more likely to read something like that as, there is something there waiting for you that you have to discover. There is something that is going to be helpful to you, even if it hurts.”

On Astrid: “While maybe not as readable in overall personality as Trent is, I still want to be careful to not discuss things that are still being discussed within the game and tossed around as possibilities. Astrid is another complicated character, as anyone would be who’s been through the life she has. I can’t say too much. I can say she’s definitely legitimately happy to see Bren/Caleb after all this time.” His reemergence definitely caught her off guard. “We’ll have to see where it goes from there.”

On Cad’s successful Divine Intervention: “He’s definitely hit the ‘on a mission from god’ stage. He’s been that way for the entire campaign of, this, this is what I’ve been waiting for. Even when it sucks a lot, it’s been nice that those things have popped up to remind him, no, no, you’re doing it right, everything’s good. Probably not going to survive the next week, but you’re doing good! Not quite 1 in a 100 chance, but I forget so often to make that roll, and it’s such a great roleplaying roll. I don’t know how at level 20 you could deal with the fact that you can do that every day.” 

On Zeenoth getting his comeuppance: the kidnapping was a concept Marisha brought up for Beau’s backstory, and Matt went with it even though it was opposed to the Cobalt Soul’s philosophy because he knew rooting it out would make for an interesting story. “I felt it was an important beat to bring to her, because it was something that she was wronged by. And to show that there are still some good people out there who are trying to make things right.” After the tentative peace, dealing with this became Dairon’s next focus. “I was glad we finally got to it. So many people don’t have the opportunity in their lives to get that sort of justice and vindication, so if I can bring elements of that justice into our world, even for our own hope, I’m going to do that. Especially for my wife’s character, especially for a character that deserves that.” Taliesin points out that if it had come too early, Beau wouldn’t have believed it.

Cad’s thoughts on the Tomb Taker betrayal? “He knew it was gonna come at some point. There was no way that was gonna last. He was hoping it was gonna last a little longer. He was really hoping they had a vested interest in getting them all the way to the end. Nope, this is apparently as far as we go, and he was not prepared for that.” He was expecting the potential for de-escalation. “Caduceus is the only character in there that doesn’t have a history with Lucien. I think he sees him a little more clearly than everybody else does. They’re all looking for this person that Clay, at least, is of the opinion that he’s just not there. This is a very manipulative, very dangerous infernal human. Just smarter than all of them. Really aware that there is no calculating what the hell is going to happen. Conversation is the only way you can deal with someone like that.”

Fan Art of the Week: An amazing Caleb closeup! (rynn_birb on Twitter)

Taliesin on Lucien: “I’m excited he’s the one that’s going to kill us all. Poetic that this is how the game ends.” Matt was delighted when Taliesin handed him carte blanche to do what he wanted with Molly’s past. “I was like ‘shit... oh, wait!’ The character of Lucien was always intended to be an antagonist so that it would have been Molly being chased by the person who wanted their body back. But then it happened that he got his body back.” Taliesin: “He’s so much worse than I ever hoped.”

Matt, on the Holy Avenger: “I hadn’t thought to initially even give that sword.” The good roll was the only reason Kima handed that over. “Well, sure, you get the sword. It was very reactionary, it wasn’t my intent originally. I was like, well, I mean, there’s two avenues she can take with this.” Multiclass into Paladin, or lean into the fact that her subclass is essentially a barbarian paladin. “This really works out in a uniquely beautiful way. Let me see if I can lay out a path for her to earn it.”

On Cad’s attempt at lying blowing up in his face: “He was like that kid that had a really bad day in high school and was like, you know what? I’m going to let loose. This is it. I’m gonna dye a streak in my hair. And then tries to give himself a haircut and ends up with half bangs. Well, okay, obviously I’m not that person. I was feeling a little distraught and I didn’t handle it well. Maybe I’m going dark... no, I’m not going dark. Nope.” Matt mentions how much he relates to Caduceus.

Matt, on the Eyes: “What can I tell you? I’m enjoying the hell out of it. The moment they began to really push to read that book, I was like, okay, this is on you. I’m excited for the point in the narrative where the march continues back to Eiselcross. I am almost impatient - not really - because we’re on the cusp of getting to more of the meat. There’s so much to learn, so much to see, so much to explore. I love instilling my players with absolute terror.”

Thoughts on Jester’s Tarot reading? Taliesin cackles. “Molly made the cards, so. Did it to himself, he did, he did.” Matt: “Once again, another example of things working out unexpectedly and too perfectly for an improvised moment. Fuck.” Taliesin: “Bless the wisdom of chaos.” Matt: “I love that even at this point in the campaign, Molly continues to fuck with people. I’m just so proud. That deeply shook Lucien, for reasons.” Taliesin: “It’s the everlasting gobstopper smoke bomb.”