#also i wanted to buy merch like plushies with the money i got from my last commission

[dirt-str1der]

1998 trigun literally wins because i was terrified that it would only be stampede and i was preemptively crying and hugging myself then the haul

[gureshinlover]

Me: *still havent finished reading 1 volume manga in japanese (otoyomegatari) i got from a manga shop near my area*

Me: *still only read 1 vol out of 4 vols manga in japanese (kare ni irai shite wa ikemasen) that i ordered from japan*

Also me: Should i buy 4 vols of Bsd BEAST manga?? from japan???

[socialkid]

Imagine…

It’s a casual Saturday afternoon in the middle of June. The sun is out with mild wind, it was the perfect weather. And when the weather is nice like this, everyone knows to watch out for you. Because around this time, you’re shopping. Shopping, shopping, shopping. You run from store to store buying everything in sight. Most of the time with your money, which makes your boyfriend mad. He likes to pay for you.

You boyfriend: Bakugou who knows you love shopping. The days when you have free time, what are you doing? Shopping. The nights where Bakugou’s pacing up and down your apartment because you won’t answer the phone then suddenly, you come bursting through the front door with a bunch of shopping bags. He knows. If anyone knows it’s him.

This morning Bakugou had gotten a call and he was reminded that he had a day off from the agency he worked at. So when he woke you up to ask what you wanted to do today, he wondered why he asked, already knowing your answer.

Now you and Bakugou were walking through the strip mall, him holding two of your bags in one hand and his other holding yours.

“Are we done yet? I wanna take you dinner and we can’t be here all day.” Bakugou asked, grunting as he readjusted your bags.

“Not even close babe,” you said with a quickness as he groaned, “Besides, it’s only two o’clock. You don’t want to just sit around till dinner do you?” You asked him.

“Yea yeah.” He said.

You looked through the windows of the stores as they went by. Preppy, pink and frilly stores, tomboy stores, casual clothing stores, toy stores, and so much more.

“Where we goin’ next huh?” Bakugou asked, looking through some of the bags he was holding. “Hmmm probably Spencer’s, then we could hit up the food court for Auntie Anne’s, and then Foreve-” you stopped in your tracks at a merch store. The window displayed, shirts and hats of merchandise by well known creators.

Bakugou looked at you as you made googly eyes at the coryxkenshien merch, worn by a mannequin. “Y/n…don’t start-” your boyfriend was interrupted by you squealing and jumping. “Just go in the damn store already.” Bakugou sighed as you rushed in. Bakugou made his way in behind you slowly after. Not even 15 seconds later and he had already lost you.

He made his way around the store looking for you, and calling your name every once in a while. He got the idea to check by the Cory section. No sign of you. He checked the sections of your favorite artists and creators, still no sign of you.

He had actually started to become a little panicky. “Y/n? Where are you?” He raised his voice. He knew you were smart, the complete opposite of vulnerable. You could help yourself if you needed to. Even without using your quirk, you can handle anyone. But still, Bakugou wanted to make sure you were safe.

Bakugou had checked almost every area of the store and he had continued to worry. Before resorting to shouting your name he saw a section under a sign that wrote “Heroes”.

As soon as he entered, your voice began to fade in, “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my goshhh!” Bakugou walked past all the merchandise: Earser Head, Red Riot, Chargebolt, and more. He finally stopped when he saw you gazing at a triple layered table, sitting under a sign labeled “Dynamite”.

There on the table was a clear representation of Katsuki himself. The black and orange shirts and pants, hoodies labeled ‘Dynamite’ in black and orange letters, and miniature sized Dynamite plushies.

Bakugou couldn’t help but grin a little bit when you turned around to face him, already wearing a baseball cap with his named labeled onto it. “Babe! Look! It’s you! Everywhere! Oh my gosh!” You said smiling from ear to ear. “I can see that y/n.” He said sarcastically, chuckling a bit, “Calm down, you can get what you want I’ll pay for it.”

He didn’t have to tell you twice. You picked up everything that had his name on it. Hoodies, tank tops, hats, water bottles, stuffed plushies, fake tattoos, etc. You also stashed a few items by Shoto, Red Riot, and even one or two Deku items.

You were so excited for your items. So excited you didn’t pay attention to the shocked face of the cashier ringing up all the Dynamite merchandise, as she looked at Dynamite behind you.

After that nothing else in the mall seemed interesting. At this point you were ready to go home before dinner and check out your man’s merch.

After that day, you made sure to put your items to use. You were always flaunting your boyfriend and you made sure everybody knew it.

One night your boyfriend had called you up and asked if he could sleepover at your apartment. And when he arrived he was meet with you, wearing an oversized Dynamite shirt. He couldn’t help his intentions that night. And when everything was done, you cuddled up next to your Dynamite plushie and your life sized Dynamite.

“You love me don’t you?” Bakugou asked, you could practically hear his grin.

“Yup, both of you.”

[silly-honeybee]

What Blue Lock boys would get you for Christmas🎁

~🐝 Happy late Christmas my lovely sillies! I have been rlly busy lately so I haven’t had time to write💔 so I hope you enjoy this lil headconon on what the Blue Lock boys would get you for Christmas!

~~~

Characters: Bachira, Isagi, Chigiri, Nagi, Kunigami, Reo, Kaiser, Alexis, Hiori

Headcanon ~ Fluffy fluff ~ fem!reader ~ not proofread

Warning(?): mentions of bras and panties in Kunigami’s part. (don’t know if that makes anyone uncomfy or not so I’m putting this here)

~~~

start~~~🐝

Bachira Meguru

Silly things. He’d get you some silly and unnecessary things—

Like he’d probably get you a shirt saying “I love pizza” or something stupid😭

But he’d also get you some pretty cute things.

Anything matching, plushies, shirts, bracelets, etc..

He is indeed a goofball(we love him for that), but of course he knows how to give serious gifts(somewhat)..

The wrapping would be horrible, I gotta say that.. probably a bunch of holes basically revealing what the present was before you even opened it.. (he’s trying his best)

Oh well, whatever he gets you just know that he means it with a lot of love💕

Isagi Yoichi

He’d probably get you nice things for the winter, like a fuzzy sweater, scarf, boots..

Or he’d find a cute dress that he thinks would look nice on you, if you don’t like dresses then a cute pair of shorts or pants..

But, in general he would make sure to get you something he knew you liked, he thinks about you a lot, yk? ^^

(This is rlly short I’m sorry🙏)

Chigiri Hyoma

This man will spoil you.

You like Sanrio? Sanrio it is. You want makeup? Makeup it is. You want the full series of your favorite book? Books it is!

He never disappoints on Christmas, he knows what you like even if you haven’t told him—

Like he just noticed a certain detail of you having quite a few of this and that. He’d then proceed to Google about it and then find nice things from it🫶

Nagi Seishiro

He’d probably be a little clueless on knowing what you’d want.. (not in a rude way).

So what he does is probably look back on the comments you made on certain characters you two have played in a game or what not. And the ones you liked he’d find some merch of that character..

Kunigami Rensuke

He’d definitely be brave enough to casually walk into the woman’s section of Target and get you a brand new bra and panties.

Based on his sister’s at home, they always seem to complain about their bras becoming loose and slack after a year..

So he assumes that maybe that happens with you too? He wants you to be comfy at all times💕

(I love this man😭)

Reo Mikage

He’d also spoil you like Chigiri, but probably in a more *ehem* Reo way..

Like he’d get you tons of stuff, too much to count. This man has money💰🤑

Every. One. Of. Those. Gifts. Have been thoroughly thought through as he was buying them.

He wanted to make sure everything was perfect💝

Michael Kaiser

Probably getting you something fancy..

A fancy robe, shoes, dress, etc..

Would also treat you to a restaurant date, Egon or something idk 🤷‍♀️

Alexis Ness

He’d get you anything you want😭

He’s such a sweetheart about it too, he would wrap your gifts in cute wrapping paper.

Every one of the gifts having a little tag in the shape of a heart saying: “To my love, from Alexis💕”

He’s such a cutie istg😭🙏

Hiori Yo

You two probably played animal crossing at some point together, so he’d definitely get you a plushie of whichever one was your favorite character!

He probably would accidentally reveal the gift before you opened it.. oopsie💕

~~~🐝 end

~🐝 I’m so sorry if some of these were short😭 like idk how to write for Kaiser,I sagi or Nagi- and there is no Rin included here bc I have no idea how to write for him🧍‍♀️ anyway! I wish you sillies a lovely rest of 2023💕

See you guys next year😋🙏 (I’m so funny haha)

Also look at this Bachira plush I got for Christmas AAAAAAA MY BBY😭 MWA MWA💋💋💋

[maochira]

hey!! i was wondering if you can do some headcanons for a reader who has a massive plushie collection with barou, rin, aryu, hiori, and niko(underrated king i need more content about him). they wouldn’t even guess that reader would be the type of person to collect that sort of stuff until they see that literally every corner of their room is filled with plushies (literally my dream). they can also tell that it must��ve cost a lotttt of money to gather that much. maybe they even recognize some of their favorite characters in the collection

can be platonic or romantic connections with the characters. i don’t mind either way! feel free to remove any character if it’s too much. thank youuuu <33

Adding two more characters cause <3 I love plushies so much (I also collect them)

Characters: Barou, Rin, Aryu, Hiori, Niko, Raichi, Tokimitsu

Requests open! - masterlist

Tags: gn!reader, can be seen as platonic or romantic

The first time Barou walks into your room, he's shocked at the sight of your plushies. Not because he thinks you're weird for collecting them (okay, maybe a little) but because he hates how unorganized they are. Why are some of them all over the floor? Why do they take up an unnecessarily big amount of space on your bed? Before he even says anything, Barou starts tidying up your plushy collection. He's sorting them by franchises and colours and also putting them in places where they look the best. Barou wants you to keep them this neatly because he thinks if they mean so much to you, you should treat your plushies with care like this.

Rin doesn't understand why you have so many plushies. And even less does he understand why you would spend so much money on them. He tries to not say anything judgy, but the look on his face while he observes your room says everything. And the longer Rin stays in your room, the more uncomfortable he gets. He feels watched by the many eyes of your plushies which creeps him out a little. This guy loves horror movies but gets creeped out by cute plushies? Apparently, yes. But you get to have fun teasing him about that. Although, over time he slowly gets used to your plushies. And after a few more weeks, he actually starts liking them.

Aryu absolutely adores every single one of your plushies ever since the first moment he got to see them. He buys a lot of clothes which are actually meant for baby dolls, but dresses your plushies in them instead. Each time he visits you, he's having the time of his life dressing up all the plushies together with you and taking photos of them. For some plushies, he doesn't find any fitting clothing, so Aryu starts sewing some on his own. They may be plushies, but he knows you love them, so they deserve to be stylish. They absolutely need to be stylish.

Seeing your plushies for the first time caught Hiori completely off guard. He didn't expect your room to look like that at all, but he quickly starts loving them. He's not vocal about it, but it's obvious how much he adores every single one of your plushies. His attention constantly drifts off and instead of looking at you, his gaze wanders to the shelf full of plushies right behind you. He hasn't thought about plushies in a very long time, but now he kind of wants to have one for himself. Luckily, before he leaves your place, you put a cute little blue bunny plush into his hands.

Niko doesn't seem to mind your plushies at first. He doesn't think anything of them and mostly ignores the fact that they are even there. But then he spots some plushies of anime characters on your desk. He knows most of the characters, but not all of them. So he obviously gets curious and starts asking questions about which animes they're from. Niko already owns a bunch of anime merch, but for some reason, he hasn't thought about buying plushies of his favourite characters until now when he got the idea because of you. He's already thinking about which ones he wants to get, but he'll probably need your help to decide. Of course your answer will be to buy all of them.

Raichi's first reaction to your plushies should have been predictable. But you're still startled for a moment when he walks over to one of the big plushies and punches it without hesitation. After asking why he did that, Raichi only laughs and says he thinks it's funny. Then he continues doing the same to other plushies, thinking you find it funny as well. Only when he looks back at you he realizes you don't think it's funny at all and you're getting upset instead. Raichi feels embarrassed and quickly apologizes, but he doesn't feel like that's enough, so he goes on and apologizes to every plushie he punched as well.

Tokimitsu treats your plushies extremely gently with a lot of care, almost as if they were real living beings. Every time he touches them he does it very carefully and whenever he pushes one to the side only by a little bit, he apologizes to the plushie. Tokimitsu knows how much every single plushie means to you. That's why he wants to treat them with as much care as he can, because that's how he knows you treat him. And of course, he treats you like that as well. It's always cute to watch whenever he interacts with your plushies and how he talks to them with genuine care.

Taglist (sign-up link): @kaineedstherapy12 @zyuuuu @luvcalico @remy-roll @truegoist @vanitasbrainrot @weichspuelertrinker @acacIa @kermitslefteyeball11 @futuristicxie @bluelock4life @https-archangel @userwithlotsoftime @nikokii @slowlyholypeanut @astruosie @gojosorrygeto @rienniey @kalinkavx @blueberrryui @keiidaydreams @sagejin @ririgards @depressed-bitchy-demon @kaiserkisser @chaosinanutshell @mang05 @wheresmysoulidk @rzu @orah-s @thedaisy78

[silvermoon424]

Hello! I really want to get into collecting sailor moon merch but I was wondering if you had any tips? you've been doing this for a long time so I was hoping you could share your wisdom lol

You came to the right person! I've been collecting anime merch since 2011 and have a lot of experience with collecting in general. Some tips I have are:

It's better to buy one big/expensive thing you really like rather than a few smaller/less expensive things you only kinda like.

Prioritize shopping at Japanese sites (especially for vintage things) or direct suppliers like BigBadToyStore rather than buying from English-based sites like eBay and (US) Mercari. There are a lot of great deals on eBay, but you can often find things for cheaper on sites like Yahoo Auctions Japan, Surugaya, and Mandarake.

If you really, really want something that's being released now or in the near future, do your best to buy it right away. Once the official supplier's stash is gone, you'll be at the mercy of the reseller's market and their prices are often way more than sticker price.

Try to map out where you're going to display everything once you get it. My collection grew slowly over time, and I only just recently bought actual display cabinets. I would definitely suggest investing in display cabinets from the start (I got some good ones from IKEA, which is by far the best budget-friendly option)

Just collect what you want! Who cares if you have 20 figures of Sailor Jupiter and nothing else. It's your collection and your money.

I personally unbox everything I buy, but I do collapse and save the boxes just in case I need to resell the item down the line. Having the box will increase the figure's value, but that doesn't mean you can't display it.

That's all I could really think of off the top of my head!

EDIT: @desperatecheesecubes mentioned MyFigureCollection, to which I have to say: YES omg, I can't believe I forgot to shout out MFC! Not only is the site great for tracking your own collection, you can search for merch of individual characters (including alternate forms) to see what you'd like to track down. Also, oftentimes people will advertise that they're selling a figure/plushie/etc on the product page, so it's great to watch pages for rarer items to see if a seller will pop up.

[sardix]

YAAAAAAAAAAAY IT GOT SHIPPED *FULL OF EXCITEMENT*

Omg omg omg I have waited for sooooooo long for an SMG4 plushie and it's finally here and not only that I can finally spend my own saved money and of course that's the first thing i buy.

(And I also got as a gift the hoddie) 😆😄🤩

(photo)

Now all i will be mising is the hat + pins (i also wanted to get a poster but back when it was avaible i was not alowed to buy anything from america 😔) buuuuut now I can

And yes it will be hard to get the Staff withought having a job or alowance.... buuuut I will not stop until I will get them.

(Personally, if I could I would buy every single thing from the shop to have a collection, I finally understand what it's like to want and collect stuff from a franchise)

1st Update:

IT CAME!!!! AND OMG I THOUGHT I WOULD BE SMALLER BUT IT IS LITERALLY BIGGER THAN MY HEAD AND I LOVE IT!!!😍😍😍🤩🤩🤩

(Also if you don't want to get rid of the been smg4 tag on smg4's plush head, you can easily hide it in the plushies hat)

And oh boy now I understand why it was this expensive, I thought it was because of the difference in currency since 1$ is like 4x in zł. But now it was just much bigger, and boy it was so worth the money I am buzzing with excitement and now he will be keeping me company whenever I am in the house

Opinion on the smg4 merch:

Hoddie - cool design and VERY comfortable material, cool two sides that you can switch whenever, and great tag lines for smg4 and smg3. If you're an SMG4 or SMG3 character fan definitely would recommend it.

Smg4 plushie - he is big and has a VERY soft material and Is well-detailed, great for hugging, I recommend it to every SMG4 character fan.

[sadthixx]

Speaking of Kaitos…do you have any favorite merch of him? And how did you find those merch? (Bonus Kaito Nui I have as a guest star)

omggg that's a good question actually (⁠・⁠o⁠・⁠)

be prepared for paragraphs I think I wrote a lot lmao

Honestly one of my absolute fave merch of him is unfortunately the most expensive, I've been wanting the Kaito Dollfie Dream even before its own concept, like I DREAMED of owning him (and I still do) but I'm so poor that I'm still scouring eBay for him with no luck (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)

Most of the time I make my own Kaito merch. I also just want anything Kaito related, even fanmade merch tbh. Someone helped me find the Kaito diner plushie for very cheap, I was really happy and they even sent more merch and that just made my absolute day! They were so cool fr

The only other cheapest Kaito merch I found was the pjsk Kaito nui for $15 with shipping from an awesome seller on Shop! I got two since I was worried one was going to be lost during shipping but both of the Kaitos made it home! They even have their own blog! 💙✨

I have a LOT to ramble on about but fr I have so many favorites I saved it's so hard to pick one. If I ever get any money for getting more Kaito merch I definitely would, even if he's barely seen on a Miku phone case or something I gotta have him lmao

also been yearning to buy his voicebank agahshjk

KAITO NUIIIII!! :D *gives him head pats bc he's so cute*

[casualfruit]

I used to love FNAF. It came out when I was 13, and was one of the first games to spark my interest in horror media. I didn’t obsess over the lore, but I did watch every Game Theory FNAF video multiple times and kept up with almost every game release. It holds a special place in my heart, and probably always will.

I think the first time I ever saw official merch in the wild was at a Target when I was like 15, and it caught me completely by surprise. It never occurred to me that it would get mainstream enough to end up in a major department store. Over time I noticed more and more official FNAF merch showing up in different stores (esp places like Newbury Comics), and I got this weird feeling that FNAF was changing—not just the games, but the culture around it. In the beginning, it was this small indie project that suddenly exploded into the public consciousness, but it mostly stayed within gaming communities. Now it was becoming mainstream. It wasn’t a small indie project anymore, it was a multi-million dollar franchise. It’s not that I didn’t want Scott Cawthon to be successful and profit from his creations, it just felt… different.

Even the games themselves started to change. There was increasing emphasis on ~the lore~ which kept getting retconned and changing the timeline around, and then the books came out and made things even more complicated, and then the merch started having ~lore~ hidden in it as well, and on and on and on. It started to feel less like there was an actual story being told and more like Scott was improvising to keep dangling carrots in front of the fans, to keep us theorizing and eagerly waiting for the next game to drop. And to his credit, it has worked.

Working at GameStop made me lowkey hate FNAF. The cheap ass polyester plushies being sold for $30, the action figures, the funko pops—and all these stupid variations of every character. It wasn’t enough to have all the in-game character designs, now there was also Birthday Freddy and Neon Freddy and Glitch Freddy and Tie-Dye Freddy. There was even a FNAF board game, which we had probably a dozen copies of and I don’t remember selling a single one.

The thing I hated most was the blind boxes. There were somewhere from 6-12 vinyl figures that you could randomly get, with the obvious goal of buying more and more until you got all of them. I hate this type of consumerist gambling so fucking much, especially when it’s aimed at kids who don’t understand what a money drain it is.

One day a kid and his mom came in looking for some FNAF merch and bought a couple of blind boxes. The kid, who was probably 8 or 9, was very happy to talk to me about FNAF as I was checking them out. There were no other customers in line, so I could spare a few minutes to chat with them. It was honestly really nice to be able to talk to this kid about something he was clearly passionate about, especially because I myself have so many fond memories of the series from its earlier incarnations. I wished them a good day as they left, like I do for every customer, but this time I really meant it.

About ten minutes later, his mom came back. The kid had opened his blind boxes and gotten one figure that he already had, so he decided to give it to me, the nice cashier who also liked FNAF. It was a Bonnie figure made of semi-transparent red-orange plastic.

I was so touched by this gesture that I kept it on one of the registers so I could see it every day. I left it behind when I quit to go back to school, but I still think about it now and again. I hope that kid and his mom are doing well, wherever they are.

[dearlybelovedmp3]

longwinded guide for not spending too much on shipping for things purchased from korea

I couldn’t find the post on reddit so here’s a longwinded explanation lol: @felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna

Korean addresses (usually called K addy’s) are sites that let you ship to them and consolidate your package bc shipping is usually very cheap or free within korea and then they optimize your package and make it as affordable to ship as possible in my experience. This is great if you buy from multiple sites or buy things like albums and merch in particular.  Essentially you buy items from sites and have them shipped to the address. They take those packages and when you submit a repack request, they consolidate them into one, more affordable package. Most of these sites will also buy these items for you if you wish and act as a proxy of sorts. They are free to use (you can get a Korean address and ship things to them for free but if you want to ship to you that’s when you would pay or use them to make purchases there are fees)

Some examples:

Orderkorea.kr – 1 year of free storage as well, they offer inclusions only (if you buy an album they will take the pcs out and send them to you to lower the weight of the package). Lowest shipping rates I’ve seen to US so far. How I got my Skzoo set back when they did the restock with the jeju merch and jypshop was gonna charge me almost 200 in shipping (I swear they pocket that money) and orderkorea charged me 60 and it got to me in less than a week.

Korgou – not used by me yet but has good reviews and tutorials made by users on youtube

Paysable – I have used, gives you a year of free storage (you can hold things there without fees up to a year if you want to wait to ship for any reason), not my favorite, they seem slowest to me

Kfriday – never used this one either but I’ve heard great things

Delivered korea – the most commonly used/general favorite from what I’ve seen. I like that they always let me choose which international shipping service I can use (I use DHL bc I can presign for delivery with them but it is always the most expensive)

Another alternative is GOMS or group order managers on Instagram. This experience varies by GOM but I’ve never actually had a bad experience. Just make sure if you use someone it isn’t a new account and they have proofs on their story (posts from other people like reviews stating they got their goods), but the bonus of a gom is that you can find one from your country and split shipping frees on that group order with everyone involved! So for the aniteez plush if the gom purchased one set of plushies and you claimed Seonghwa, your shipping fees would be drastically reduced because it would  be split between you and 7 other people. Downsides are if you collect popular members it can be hard to get spots on group orders (like Wonyoung, Wonbin, Seonghwa, etc). In most circumstances I recommend a GOM over ordering yourself or using a proxy (detailed below) bc you end up paying less if you are collecting for one member. If you collect full group or buy a lot of things a k addy and or proxy is good.

Proxys are people who actually go to events like pop ups and buy for you. They have fees but if you want to be mostly guaranteed something, they are a good alterative, but make sure they have good reviews from people who have used their services as well.

Group order managers = no profit, they are just trying to get a members cards without paying for a full set,  so open the other members’ cards up to other people to lower their costs

Proxys = usually a full or part time job. They do make money off of it from fees.

A lot of pcs and merch can be found from Japanese sellers at much lower prices than us sellers and have similar websites to purchase off yahoo Japan, mercari Japan etc, I’ve used buyee and neokyo for this before but if the item details says “Korean shop purchase”, it’s a fake/replica, be wary of fakes in general

My Last resort is always mercari us or ebay bc it is usually highest priced but sometimes you will find reasonable prices on there, never for things like the aniteez plush though my guess is there will be resellers on those sites listing as over 100 dollars as soon as they ship out :’ )

[brokeitwiththepowerofmathamatics]

Fanfic - Marks Upon the World

Marks Upon the World  (Ao3)

When Danny, Tucker, and Sam decided to make a stupid meme song, the last thing they expected to do was to get popular.

They were fully aware it might lead to a ghost attack, but that's just the norm.

That wasn't what they got though.

"So, what are you all planning on doing with all the money?" Tucker asked over the comms. His voice was staticky due to all the interference in the Ghost Zone. The giant rocks of ectoplasm making an asteroid field they were in wasn’t helping things, either. It took Danny a moment for him to parse the question and before he could ask what money, Tucker had continued, "I'm thinking personal VR arcade. Right in my basement."

"Tucker," Sam interrupted, "you don't have a basement." As if that were the problem with his idea, not the money.

"I'm going to add one." Tucker chuckled.

"One, do you have any idea how expensive that is?" Sam responded. "Two, I don't think your parents are gonna let you do that."

"It'll be fine," Tucker dismissed. "My parents were planning on selling the house after high school anyways. They wanted to move somewhere warmer and retire now that I'm almost done with high school. I'll buy the house, bum off your couch for a few months while we rebuild it, and then bam," his point was punctuated by him hitting something, probably the dash of the Specter Speeder, "personal VR arcade."

Danny scoffed into the silence that followed. "Dude, I can't imagine we're making that much money off one meme song."

There was a pause on the other end of the comms, which Danny took as a sign that Tucker had come down to Earth, but then Sam shouted, "Oh my God! That can't be right!"

"Nope, completely. And this is in four weeks! It's been gaining speed! Not only that, but I took a bit of a gamble and started selling merch. The Danny plushies have been selling like hotcakes!"

Danny paused in his flight and looked back across the Ghost Zone at the Specter Speeder, "The Danny what?"

"Danny plushies! They're like your ghost form but tiny. There are a couple of variations, but they all have big eyes and posable arms. And! We have a back order of them. Our supplier is currently trying to find another company to subcontract to, but the stipulations on the contract are slowing that down."

That was not the answer Danny wanted to hear.

"Tucker…" Sam began, "how long have you been selling these? Cause now I remember a few of the comments being something like, 'I can't believe someone made a song for those dolls'..."

Danny took a deep (though as a ghost, it wasn't real) breath and pinched his nose. That was also something he didn't want to hear.

"A while… like, a year? But yeah, people love 'em," Tucker continued. Danny was pretty sure he was taking psychic damage from this conversation. "So yeah, the video has made us about 400k each, and the merch sales is close to a 25k split each." There was a pause, and Danny assumed it was because Tucker was shrugging. "Should be enough for the down payment at minimum, and with you two helping footing the mortgage, we should be able to make the changes we want when you two move in."

"Excuse me?" Sam sneered. "Why would I move in with you?"

"Because Danny is going to, and the second you no longer have to live in your parents’ house, you're going to dip. And with the three of us living together, you and I can pay for Danny, and we can pretend Danny is making money off his parents' inventions. Easy excuse as to why Danny won't have a job."

Danny took that moment to chime back into the conversation. "Why wouldn't I have a job?"

"Because you're a superhero? Dude, it's already a problem at school, but you think even the Nasty Burger is gonna let you get away when you dip ‘cause a ghost showed up?"

Danny paused and thought about it. "Oh…" That was going to kill a lot of his job prospects.

Sam sighed. "For the record, I'm only mad 'cause you were assuming I was going to move in with you." She sighed again. "But… you're absolutely right. When you put it like that, it's absolutely what we're gonna do."

"Alright, well with that out of the way, what are you guys gonna spend the money on?"

Danny opened his mouth to make a quip about lawyers and trademarking his likeness, but before he could, he felt his breath get forced out of his body. The icy cold wisp that came out of his lungs and throat fogged the air in front of him, and he sighed. "Probably more weapons… I got incoming."

Sam or Tucker started responding, but he couldn't hear them over the scream of "Phantom!"

Danny looked up just in time to see Ember flying at him at full speed. By the time he had processed that ��no, of course she’s not friendly’, it was too late to react. Ember collided with him in a full-body tackle that if he were human probably would have bisected him completely.

"I hate you!" she screamed right into his ear as she took the two of them flying across the zone. The crackle of her flaming hair drowned out anything else. The impact of stone only served to knock what little breath he thought he should have out of his lungs as Ember continued to drag him through several floating rocks. One, a second, and then a third, then she finally let go. Leaving him flying before he crashed into a fourth.

Danny blinked as he regained his bearings, half-buried in the ectoplasmic rock. He wasn't a stranger to people screaming about how they hated him — though that was usually reserved by his parents — but he wasn't normally accustomed to them crying while doing so.

With a heave, he pulled himself out of the asteroid. Ember wiped her tears and started growling as her hair flared up. There was a moment of stillness as he took in her appearance; she lacked a lot of the haughtiness that she usually carried, tall and proud of who she was. That wasn’t her right now; she was hunched over, angry and sad…. Mostly angry.

Danny wasn’t sure what was going on, but his gut (which he had learned to trust over years of heroing) told him it wasn’t a good idea to get the calvary to come charging in yet. Danny quickly reached up and activated the com link. "Guys, hang back-"

He didn't get a chance to explain himself as Ember charged him again. Without the advantage of flying at him at somewhere around 115 mph at his unsuspecting back, he was able to defend himself much better.

Much better than he really should have…

She wasn't throwing ectoblasts or using her guitar to fire off shockwaves. Instead, she was throwing punches and kicks. Ember was not a physical combatant, compared to Danny, who had to be one (with Skulker swinging that giant skinning knife around).

Compared to that, this was easy.

Though not easy enough to be distracted, he thought as she reached up and tried to claw at him. He continued to dodge wild grasping swings and saw Sam and Tucker flying up to the two of them. He looked Ember in the eyes, still filled with tears, and bit his lip. This is either gonna make her kill me harder, or it's gonna stop the fight…

The next time one of her telegraphed punches came flying, he ducked under her arm and got behind her. "What the!" gasped out of her mouth before he wrapped her in a hug. "What the- what the hell are you doing, dipstick!"

Ember continued to whirl around and try to hit Danny, but he kept himself pinned to her back. As a ghost, she probably could have contorted her body in some ungodly way, but like most ghosts, they avoided doing that.

“Let go of me!” Ember screamed. “Or I’m gonna kill you deader!”

“On account of you trying to rip my head off, I’m going to say no.”

Which of course served to just piss her off more. She continued to swing the two of them around, desperate to try and get out of his grip. It took an entire minute before Ember finally calmed down and stopped trying to hit Danny, but he still refused to let go. Especially when the fight left Ember and she started sobbing.

Having heard the fighting stop, Sam and Tucker pulled the Specter Speeder up next to the two of them. Their weapons were primed to save Danny if the fight had gone south, but seeing Danny holding Ember in his arms as she sobbed made them put them away.

Danny understood Tucker priming the weapons of the Specter Speeder, but seeing Sam putting her pistol away made him wonder if she was gonna hang out the door and shoot as Tucker flew by.

Sam made her way to the door of the Specter Speeder and opened it. “What’s going on?” she asked tentatively and thankfully clearly (they really needed to update the Fenton Phones to work better this deep in the zone).

Ember sniffed and rubbed her eyes. “Your stupid theme song...”

“My… what?” Of all the things for Ember to declare her hatred of him for, that hadn’t been it.

“You know… that stupid song you guys put out?” Ember growled. “It’s… it’s popular!”

Danny let go of Ember (probably stupidly) and floated a few feet away from her. “Why does that matter?”

“Why does it matter?” Ember screeched. She whirled on Danny, and he saw Sam reach for her gun, but then Ember calmed down. She paused and looked up for a while, unnaturally still, before she sighed. “I don’t want to explain this. It’ll be easier to show you. Come on.” With that, she started flying off into the ether of the Ghost Zone.

Danny blinked and looked at Sam. The two of them shrugged, and Danny flew after Ember as Sam closed the door to the Specter Speeder.

Ember flew through the Ghost Zone at full speed. Danny was barely gaining on her, and the Specter Speeder was slowly losing ground. They blazed through the Ghost Zone, flying through uncharted (to him at least) space. The further they flew, the more nervous Danny should have gotten.

Should have.

Instead of the fear and excitement they usually got when going through unexplored territory, Danny felt something else. It felt like when you were getting ready for bed after a long productive day, but you knew you had more to do tomorrow. Restful and content, yet stressed.

Danny was in the middle of trying to process that when he noticed that Ember had stopped, apparently reaching their destination.

When Danny got close, he stopped immediately. “Ember…” his voice came out as a whisper, “What the fuck is that?”

Ember tilted her head and looked at him, a sad smile on her face. “I think you know… don’t you?” She turned back and ran her hand over the metal of what was in front of them.

It was a metal hexagon. From inside edge to inside edge, it was about 15 feet across, which would be plenty of room for the Specter Speeder to fly through. The metal edges were about 4 feet wide, and though the inside of the circle was pitch black, Danny was sure that if he could see what was inside it, there would be a slowly closing corridor about 12 feet deep.

He died in it, after all. You didn’t just forget what that looked like.

Ember took his silence to be confirmation. “It’s your lair Baby-Pop…” she said, running her hands along the metal. “We’re lucky. Most ghosts… never find their lairs, or if they do, it’s long after they’ve forgotten anything about themselves. These are called the infinite realms, after all.”

Ember walked across thin air to stand in front of the portal. The pure inky blackness made her stand out as she folded her arms. “There’s nothing saying we don’t wake up near our lairs.”

Danny swallowed. That nervousness he felt approaching only grew stronger this close to his lair. “You mean… ghosts don’t wake up in their lair?”

“No…” Ember said, a melancholy tainting her voice. “We don’t.” She looked up as Sam and Tucker approached in the speeder. She sighed and turned. “Come on…” She glanced at Danny once before stepping into the black.

As she passed through, the edges of the black void in the center of this fake portal lit up, giving off a corona of fire and light for the brief second she passed through. Danny reached up and stuck his hand in, feeling no resistance as his hand pierced the veil. The moment his hand passed through, the edges lit up again, staying alight as he kept his arm in.

He took a deep breath and pushed through.

And immediately, his breath was stolen from him as the pure blackness gave way to a star-studded sky. Not just that, but what was quite clearly the International Space Station sat in front of him, where Ember sat on one of its solar arrays. Danny flew over to her. “Okay, this is officially one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen, but why are we here?”

Ember stood up. “Almost there, just follow me,” she said. “Tell your friends to stay put when they enter. They’d probably be fine, but Imma go ahead and guess you don’t want them crashing and breaking your ship.”

And with that cryptic statement, Ember started flying off again. Danny scrambled to repeat what Ember said to Sam and Tucker as the Specter Speeder made its way into his lair.

He’d deal with the fact that he was dead enough to have a lair later.

He and Ember flew through the night sky of his lair, but this time it was a much shorter trip. Only fifteen seconds or so at their top speeds. When Ember stopped, Danny slowed till he was next to her, and he realized something.

The stars in his night sky weren’t stars. They were names.

The names were inscribed on a solid black wall, and when he touched it, he could feel the curve of the wall, giving him the idea that his lair wasn’t an endless void but actually a sphere with the ISS in the center of it.

“This is what every artist wants, Phantom,” Ember whispered, running her finger along one of the names. Danny didn’t recognize the name at all; it was no one he knew. He quickly activated the comlink in his ear and switched the input to local mode, letting Sam and Tucker listen in as well. “When we create, the thing we create connects us, across time, across space, across lives…”

Ember’s hand dropped to her side. “When people sing our songs or tribute our work… when we touch them with our arts… their name gets inscribed into our lairs. A reminder that we are still affecting the world, that we had lived.” Her voice dropped. “It can’t just be a passing thing, something that you really connect with.”

Danny looked at each of the names inscribed in his lair, thousands, maybe even millions, of all various hues and brightnesses, and uttered in awe, “This many people cared about my stupid song?”

“Yes!” Ember hissed, and Danny jumped to move away from her, though she didn’t attack. “Your stupid song that you don’t even care about is something so many people love! I hate you so much right now!”

Danny frowned and folded his arms. “Why do you care so much? You’ve got to have like… billions of names in your lair, right?”

“How many fucking people remembered I even had a goddamn concert after your friend ruined it? Have you seen anyone with my merch afterward?” Danny blinked. Thinking about it, he couldn’t remember anyone walking around with Ember merch after the concert. At the time, he chalked that up to people losing interest after Tucker ruined her concert. But… no one mentioned Ember again, even though logically, there should have been something, even if it had been something like, ‘Did you see what happened during the concert?’

It was like they had completely forgotten she existed.

Ember pounded her fist against the wall, though it made barely any noise, sounding more like someone smacking a cornstarch and water mixture than a solid wall. “The only goddamn name I have in my lair is Tucker Foley, and it’s carved into the goddamn toilet!”

The bark of laughter from Sam came through before it was quickly cut off, and Danny was reminded that the default setting for “local” mode meant the output was also broadcast to the nearby area. Ember snapped her head toward the Specter Speeder and snarled.

Sam had the right idea and didn’t antagonize the ghost that had almost conquered the world at one point, she stopped laughing and got quiet. Tucker on the other hand…

“So, wait, I’m the only one who’s name is in your lair? Does that make us like, ghostly soulmates?”

"Not on your fucking afterlife!" Ember screeched, drawing more power than Danny had ever seen from her without her guitar. Her hand lit up with ectoplasm, outshining all the nearby stars.

Danny knew the look in Ember’s eyes. “Please don’t…” he begged, knowing that it would literally do nothing.

Ember responded by throwing an ectoblast at the Specter Speeder. Tucker let out a rather inglorious scream as the beam flew past Danny right at the vehicle. Danny turned, ready to do something when the beam destroyed their transport.

But he didn’t need to.

The beam curved at the last second, bending out of its path like it was circling a black hole. Danny’s brow furrowed as he wondered why Ember had pulled back, but she clicked her teeth. “Figures, you’re such a goody two shoes…”

“What do you mean?” Danny asked despite himself.

Ember huffed and waved her arms about. “There’s a reason why every ghost in Amity Park knows where your lair is, your lair prevents anyone from being harmed in it. It’s the perfect neutral ground.” She hummed and gave Danny an appraising look. “Your lair fufills your need to keep people safe… but there’s no one in it for you to keep safe.”

A chill ran down Danny’s spine. The way Ember phrased that… did he have an obsession? One that was driving him to protect people? On the surface, that sounded like a good thing… If Sam and Tucker were in danger and in the area, they could make their way to the safety of his lair.

But what if they got there, and his lair didn’t think it was safe for them to go out?

Would it trap them here?

Ember shifted, snapping Danny out of his thoughts. He watched her reach up and gently stroke the names along the wall of his lair. The motion was so soft and gentle that for a moment, Danny forgot that it was one of his enemies here.

It seemed she forgot that he was there too, because she turned and when their eyes met, she jumped. The look on her face made Danny’s breathing hitch. Her face had been filled with so much longing before it was replaced with a sneer. She scoffed and brushed her hair away from her face. “Whatever,” she snapped, “enjoy your fucking fame.”

Danny felt power rise in Ember, and he only had a second to react when he realized what she was doing. “Hey, wait!” he shouted, only to get pushed back as fire sprouted around Ember and burned away immediately, taking her with it as she teleported.

And for a few heartbeats, all Danny could do was sit there and stare at the names written in his lair.

The moment was broken by an alarm going off. “Ah, jeez!” Tucker shouted. “Danny! We got to book it! Your parents are gonna be home in thirty minutes, and we’re WAY farther from the portal than we’ve ever been!”

Danny gasped as Tucker turned the Specter Speeder around, dove inside the vehicle, and hoped the auto-mapping software in there could plot a way back home without going through any asteroid fields this time.

***

After a very tense 3 minutes of scrambling to get the ghost-hunting gear back into place, Danny had completely forgotten about what had happened with Ember. It was hard to worry about what had happened when he was worrying about what he was going to be doing the next minute.

But at 12:01 at night, Danny sat on his bed, finally able to actually decompress and think about what had happened.

He knew ghosts got a lair in the Ghost Zone when they died – he had read enough of his parents’ papers on the subject to know that much at least. He also knew that they were supposed to help a ghost sustain their obsession.

And he was dead enough to get a lair himself, and it actively protected people in it.

He had worried for a long time if he had an obsession. If he was only alive because some drive to do something was sustaining him.

Danny took a deep breath and put his fingers on the pulse point of his neck, and he counted the slow (too slow) beats and tried to think of better thoughts.

It wasn’t long until the image of his lair flooded his brain again, filled with a million stars.

Stars that Ember wanted.

Slowly he sat up and made his way over to his closet. It was an absolute mess. Too many instances of throwing stuff in there when his parents got on his case about the state of his room and never took any actual care to clean it. He never really needed to. He could just reach in and rummage around with his intangibility to find what he needed.

Though he wasn’t looking for something in his closet right now.

On the other side of the wall was Jazz’s closet.

He reached through and rummaged around in her closet, trying to find something that should have been there, assuming she hadn’t remembered to throw it out.

It was still there.

Pulling his arm back, he came back holding a guitar. The body had a flame pattern on it and was colored in Ember’s colors. Danny ran his fingers along the neck and came back with a literal pile of dust on them. He shook off the dust before clumsily plucking at the strings.

He wasn’t exactly a musician, but he knew enough to tell when something was out of tune.

This guitar had been sitting there, completely forgotten, at the back of Jazz’s closet for over two years, gathering nothing but dust.

His phone buzzed, and he jumped. It buzzed a second time, and he realized it wasn’t a text but a phone call. He reached over and grabbed it. A glance at the name had him answering. “Hey, Sam,” he whispered, careful not to accidentally wake anyone.

“Hey,” she whispered back. Her hushed tones made this feel like something illicit and made his heart race. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“No.” He chuckled and sat down on his bed. “I want to speak with whoever said, ‘I can sleep when I’m dead,’ 'cause they lied to me.”

Sam chuckled back at his stupid joke. “Good, I’m glad… I wanted someone to talk to.”

“And you called me at midnight?”

“Why would I call anyone else?” Sam laughed, though it quickly died. “I just… I dunno. I feel bad.”

“Ember?” Danny asked, needlessly clarifying.

“Mhmm…” Sam murmured into the phone. There was a rustle on the other side of the phone, probably her rolling over. “It’s… I’ve thought about it, you know? What kind of mark I’m gonna leave on the world.” She chuckled dryly. “It’s hard not to when we’re facing death all the time, right?”

Danny nodded instinctively. “Right,” he agreed. Though he had his own thoughts on the matter. “I personally try to avoid thinking about my mortality." He chuckled despite himself as he made his hand light up with ectoplasm. "I’ve been getting a lot of answers I don’t want lately.”

“Sorry,” Sam responded quickly. The word was terse, but her tone was somber.

“Don’t be. Not your fault.”

“It is, and you know it,” Sam responded immediately. Danny opened his mouth to disagree, but she sighed. “I don’t want to have that argument again. I…” She trailed off. “I don’t know what. I’m sitting here, feeling bad about Ember, and I don’t like sitting.

“I get that, I do…” Danny paused and looked down at his sister’s guitar. “I really do. But… what can we do?”

“Maybe…” Sam began but then trailed off. “I dunno. We could… we could do it ourselves… You know, sing Ember’s song… Remember? I think that’s what it was called. I dunno, I never got one of her CD’s.”

Danny thought for a second. “Tucker might still have it… he doesn’t like deleting anything. Gives him an excuse to buy another hard drive.”

“Think he’s up right now?”

“Nah,” Danny said, shaking his head. “He probably crashed the moment he went home.”

“Ugh, fine, we can call him tomorrow,” Sam said, actually sounding annoyed. She huffed, and there was a rustle again as she rolled around in her bed. “I guess I should let you sleep, too, huh?”

“Let’s not be too hasty.” He paused and looked down at the guitar in his lap. "Hey, Sam? Can you teach me how to play guitar?"

***

Weeks later, Ember awoke in her lair with a start. The crowds in it, that she could never find or play for, cheered wildly. Their screams shook the couch she was using as a bed.

But over all that, she could hear the sound of wood being carved.

Ember scrambled, throwing off the blanket as she snapped out of that in-between state of awareness and non-existence. Her eyes flitted across the walls, trying to find the change in her lair.

There.

Right above where she laid her head, in bright gold lettering.

Danny "Phantom" Fenton.

Samantha "Sam" Manson.

She ran her fingers over the names, echos of the two of them singing her song. Really singing it. Putting their heart and soul into it. She closed her eyes and let the feeling take her, letting her see when and where this was sung.

She smiled as she saw them singing and filming a music video. They used Phantom's lair as the backdrop.

Tucker had been there too, filming them and helping edit the video before posting it.

Where others would hear her song too.

Maybe it'd touch them too.

Ember took a step back and looked over the writing another time, and smiled.

She'd have to do something nice for them sometime soon.

[unforth]

Okay, so, during the holiday season (during which I celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, and my birthday... in 2022 all within the same 8 days... ) my mom gave me a "I don't know what you want so over the next year just tell me some things you want and I'll pay for them" gift, and I've already cashed that in twice - once for something I'll scream about excessively whenever it finally gets here (I have. no idea when that'll be. I just checked Amiami and it says "processing shipping," whatever the fuck that means.) The other time was to put in an order from @shandian-go's in-stock sale (which appears to be closed again?). The "must have" item that got me to make that purchase was 2ha Vol. 3 Chinese, which I wanted no matter what (and which I've already posted a little about the extras, but I'll gather them all some time and take pics, it came with SO MUCH STUFF ASFADFADG).

But if I'm already getting stuff, might as well get more, right? So I went through the rest and ordered a few things. The expensive parts were actually not for me - a book a friend wanted, and a birthday gift I'll also send to that same friend. But I treated myself to some lucky bags, because like... there's always a lot of merch that I like but don't love enough to pay the premium on "I MUST HAVE THAT SPECIFIC THING." I figured if I got a random assortment, odds were high I'd be entirely happy with everything in that random assortment, and it'd be cheaper than picking out specific individual items.

That order arrived nice and quick, since it was all things that were already with Mel in Canada, and yeah I was right, I'm happy with my lucky bags. I got three - one for TGCF, one for 2ha, and one for "all priest excelt TYK/SHL" (mine ended up containing two Guardian things, a SPL thing, and a Mo Du thing, which is about perfect since the fourth fandom option was Lie Huo Jiao Chou, which I'm least familiar with of the four).

Since they arrived (several weeks ago) I've been, uh. Savoring? Because I'm super busy and don't have time to really enjoy but just. poking at the box for a few minutes every few days has really helped keep my mood up.

Today I stole a few minutes to really start going through things, though. So, here's my TGCF lucky bag! A cute Hualian key chain of Hua Cheng comforting Xie Lian, a pretty pin, an adorable Xie Lian wedding chibi standee, and that gorgeous soldier Hua Cheng/God Please Crown Prince Xie Lian art.

As expected, I am utterly satisfied with this purchase. I'm gonna add the key chain to my keys today (where it'll join the Hualian chibi key chains I bought from ShanGo last year), and I really need to finish the quilt I've been working on specifically as a place to hang pins so I can hang the pin.

Whenever I next feel like I can ask mom for a little money, it'll be this - https://koonbooks.com/products/global-examination-chinese-comic?_pos=2&_sid=a2e0144e2&_ss=r. Which has been on my list for months and was what I wanted next no matter what, but has definitely gained a lot more urgency since I started reading the book, lmao. Now I want it like air. Probably over the summer...

(I also just today got a shipping due notice from ShanGo? I have. no idea what it's for, oops. I thought my only outstanding order was the Yanshen plushies but my memory is shot idek. God, this makes it sound like I buy So Much Stuff I swear I don't. With what money would I???)

[julien5-malfunction]

Derranged drafting about wanting to go to concert, money, dread.

Crafting a little budjet for myself bc I'M MAD EITHER WAY SO I BOUGHT THE TIKETS, to get me there, I has to pay a lil extra to have the train ticket so it can be refunded JUST IN CASE I end up going. If I feel like absolute shit and decide to not go on the last minute, I can still refund them. I'll buy the concert ticket on the way there, IF I GO.

I save some money by taking the bus there, and some more by having to wait 2+ more hours for the later night train. Should not be an issue as I have insomnia but the waking up on time, the anxiety, the cold and hunger will be. Also I don't know if I should be scares of the streets as I will be going alone...

But the bars will be open on the fiday night right? I can chill there with a ton of people around incase I feel scared on the street, right?

Now I'm doing pathetic little calculations on how much I can spend on merch, bc I like me some CDs and maybe a t shirt or a hoodie but 50€ for merch, food and snacks and whatever else I need, ain't much. So I'm like gooling how much they cost on the web and trying to estimate the price but I probably can get like 2 cds and nothing else...

I dunno if it's ok to take the cash I got for christmas and use some of that so I can have a t shirt or a hoodie as well if they have good ones.

...sometimes I think I should just buy a plain black T shirt and plagitarize a band shirt bc I'm so broke nowdays...

And I feel too ugly in my body anyway to wear new bought band shirts or any new or nice chlotes anyway, but I'll be wearing the nice black cargo pants, the leather boots ( or my winter shoes, I heard it's gonna be really cold...) A burner T shirt under a nice hoodie, probably the one from Amenra, as I saw them in the same place about a year ago... (And it's really warm!)

Dunno which jacket is the most convinient for an over night trip... Beige one, probably, has the most pockets, but is the most casual. Black one is the most metal and camo the most punk (a battle jacket)...

I got the same flavoured peanuts for snacks on the train today, got 2 since they were on dicount... as well as ibuprofein, in case I get migrane from flasing on the train / period pain in the train. (unintended rhyme god damned) I'll make some POTENT AF coffee to keep me going, probably to my demise... or maybe take coins for a take out coffee...

The same book I was reading the last time...

maybe the ds3 idk. Pen and paper ofc.

charger, headphones, earplugs, keys, water, snacks, coffee(?), chocolate maybe?, wallet, a book, A FEW PENS LETS SAY 5 MAX, NOT THE WHOLE ARCENAL, paper. Pocket knife. Sanitary stuff... Tissue paper. Idk, how much are wet wipes €€€? (I have a sensory issue with wasking my face and hands?) Hand sanitizer? Smokes + a lighter.

Something to serve as a comforting thing, in case of anxiety, I wanna take a plushie but... Maybe the scarf will do? I mean, it works in therapy... No I won't take knitting stuff... Or should I? I mean, I need stuff to entertain me for 15h in the train... No I won't unless I start a project that doesn't require much space to take on board.

I really hope I can pull this off...

Like please let this happen.

I'll figure out the money thing somehow...

I know I should not spend so much and calculate stuff like this much better but...

I didn't know earlyer. I missed the sign if there was one...

It's like something is telling me I need to go it's really weird to try and explain and I will sound crazy but there have been some weird coincidences lately, in my dreams and the real world. Yet again the source of the message is the library... The printed media is the carrier. I don't know who or what or where I get the metadata to pick a cartain thing in the library, and that thing happens to have the information I didn't know I needed. This has basically happen twice now. I'm going to consider it as something like a tradition from now on. I'm my mind the building, the venue, looks an awful like a chapel or a church. Was that what the dream was referring to? Does the stuff that happen in the dream relate to this in anyway??? Will I be scared... And the next time telling people not to go there? If so, it might... I might be drawing lines between random raindots here and calling it fate. I'm willing to take a leap, I suppose... If my body so allows.

Idk it just feels like that place became holy to me the last time.

another one would be this hill nearby I have gone to 3 years in the row. I bike north of town and drag the bike up hill a certain path in the fall. Chill under the high voltage lines and pick berries. Stare down to the distant road and look down to my hometown on the other side...

It's 4 am, sorry about all this brain vomit taking up the supposedly infinite space of the internet. But I doubt anyone actually reads this. I hope you don't.

[threadsun]

Oh !! I like that energy !! First time someone offered me a wheelchair I almost broke down !! Such fun times~

-fr i should be more positive about things, Im working on it tho, jda here-

I’ll let you keep the title just cuz you’re fun, so—

Assuming you don’t know what hollow knight is, is basically like a metroidvania game and it’s sooooo gooooood !! IM IN LOVE WITH THE GAME SINCE LIKE. Idk I think I discovered it in 2019 I think I can’t remember, BUT BUT, I had like this discussion with my sister telling her we should buy it and that I would pay for it and stuff and I finally convinced her, she liked the game, the one going crazy over it was me tho—

It’s got a ton of fun stuff and I mean a ton !!

You get lost really easily if you can’t find Cornifer to buy the map of the area but that’s the fun part !! Just exploring random places and memorizing stuff is just so nice !! ALSO THE BOSSES OOF, I love every single one of them !! Sure there are some that,,, aren’t that fun, but at the end of the day they’re still pretty enjoyable !! It’s got plenty of nice characters my fav being Quirrel whom I have a plushie of (also a plush of like the void version of the player, plus a silly drawing I made, I would buy more merch but I’m poor also I have more fandoms to attend to so— I have some merch here and there of other stuff so well that’s we’re my money goes to :]]) also also !! The name I use to sign my drawings comes form like the ship name I like from that game yes it’s gay bugs idk why they look cute ig

Okay to sum everything up or else this ask will be completed in three weeks, I love the game and the soundtrack is a banger I love it im waiting for Team Cherry’s next game so bad I’m very exited I just love hollow knight so much istg I’m not normal about that game I can count how many corpses are in the abyss I’ve played the game more than what I can count and I still haven’t gotten the 112% I’m very disappointed in myself but one day I’ll get it anyways if you have money I totally recommend getting it it’s a whole experience 10/10 would recommend okay that’s it thanks for letting me talk about the game I love it so much and I love you ok thanks again bye

Wheelchairs are so good tbh, like my stance (and the general disability studies/activism stance) is that if an accommodation makes your life better, you should use it. Doesn't matter if you could do [thing] without it, if it makes doing [thing] easier, you should use it!

Like I could just walk around with a dislocated/subluxated hip, but if I want to walk without pain then I need to use my wheelchair! The first time I ever used one was at a museum, and I realised it was the first time I'd ever enjoyed a museum cause I wasn't in horrible pain for once. After that, I started the process of getting my own wheelchair because it's so much nicer to live a life where I can focus on my surroundings without being distracted by pain!

Ooooh that sounds like lots of fun!! I know one of my friends plays it, but I've never actually seen it played. I may watch some playthroughs/streams of it or something to see if it'd be my sort of game, and if it is then I'll probably get it!! It sounds super cool from how you describe it, and I love the idea of gay bugs~

[fortemelody]

growing up a child of divorce and neglect meant a lot of traumatic moments obviously- but for the sake of this post we’re throwing most of that aspect away to talk about a smaller issue that i’ve come to realize holds a lot more weight than i ever thought it would.

my dream as a kid was always to have all of the stuff i collected in one space. dvds, cds, video game consoles, toys, plushies, figures, you name it. and until i was about 13 or 14, the room of the house i was neglected at (dads) felt so absolutely barren becus i didn’t have the chance to really go outside and buy stuff for it, and bringing stuff back and forth (unless it was my fav stuffed animal) felt like such a hassle. hell, i barely even had any clothes there and i wasn’t taught how to do laundry for awhile which made it worse.

what does this have to do with the present day you may ask? well, as of january 15 of this year, i officially gained some courage and moved out of my dads house. however i didn’t start moving any of my things till months later. i got a couple essential items here and there but now that it’s summer i’ve officially started getting more things in bulk from there and moving it over. it’s literally a 5 minute walk so it’s not hard to do at all. but i can’t help but have conflicting emotions from it all. for one, my dream of all my stuff being in a single room/house is finally coming true, and i can collectively look at what i all have together. i didn’t think this would happen till i got a new apartment or house of my own after college (so like… around 22 years old compared to being 17). but on the other hand, i can’t help but feel a bit sad. the layout of each room was unique how it was, and i managed to cultivate a safe space at my dads out of really shitty circumstances. in the span of the 3 years where i gained friends and a sense of direction, i could finally obtain merch and other items that made me happy and put them in my dads house, so it wasn’t some barren wasteland that i dreaded. seeing as though that’s where i spent all my time at that house, it only seemed right for it to look good. slowly stripping this room apart makes me really sad that i was destroying the work i put in to make a good environment for myself. but then comes an even bigger problem. i also have become in those three years a MASSIVE hoarder. and the only way that everything fit was having two spaces. and now i will only have one. i quickly went from a kid who wanted so many new products and toys to help me escape my reality, to an almost adult who bought too many things in an attempt to salvage their inner child. it’s quite the heartbreaking thing to see becus many of the items i have now (unless they’re from a specific person i cherish or already have sentimental value ) don’t really have much meaning on their own anymore and it sucks. i would say that money can buy happiness, but only for a limited amount of time. i deep cleaned out my closet to make room for at least some of the stuff from my dads, and i did manage to get three full garbage bags of things im going to donate to goodwill, so i’m glad that i am giving back in some way. but i’m still astonished that -even after that- how much stuff can pile up and eventually just come to be decoration after thinking it would be the key to your life. yes, i’m still going to collect, especially items you can actually use (physical media), but man it really hits different when you can visualize how many items you actually own. it’s a bit terrifying honestly. nevertheless, i do love the act of actually organizing so that aspect will be fun, and i don’t think it’s all completely bad becus there are a few gems that i’m really proud of owning.

a side story to top this all off- i made the mistake of carrying four huge bags full of clothes yesterday as i walked home in a path where i would see a lot of people. i could’ve waited like a half an hour until my dad was ready to load his car with my stuff, but i was so stubborn and wanted to leave his house ASAP. i had it in my mind the whole time that i probably looked like a homeless child (seeing as though me and my mom see this one homeless guy with 20 bags constantly throughout our neighborhood). shameful needless embarrassment aside, it’s really sad that my own stubbornness is what made me look like an “outcast” by society. my family is not exactly financially stable ourselves, but i obviously have a house as stated. it made me think about how many homeless people really only have their items to keep themselves sane. you come to appreciate what you *do* have becus of that. i really hope i come to a point in my life where i can stop buying things i don’t need so i can give back to others that cherish and need their items so much more. or possibly find a balance of my money- with helping others as my main priority while just buying myself things at certain times of the year. and referring to the root of this story, i hope i can also get to a point where i’m not so fucking stubborn and holding that strong of a grudge that i can tolerate my dad for an extra half an hour. but that’s a whole other story 😭

[babytowntm]

So this is Christmas, and what have you done? Another year over, and a new one just begun

Christmas has been over for two days now and it all feels very weird. My christmas was fine this year, no hiccups, no fights, no angry tears and moreover no family feuds.

Which is a first. Even my boyfriend told me he felt comfortable and like the ice was broken for him. I'm quite glad about that if I'm honest.

I'll be celebrating new years with some friends this year and their pets. I already got some sparklers gifted to me.

Also gifted to me : two new vinyl records ( one from benny goodman and the other are chart hits from the 80s and 90s). New bedsheets which are so cringe I'll probably never use them* and a panini press to make some delicious "squish buns".

I've also gotten an adorable hamster plushie, a sunflower pillow, a new bookmark as well as some ice skates and a few gift cards for various book shops.

(* to clarify : My mother gifted me some Rainbow High bedsheets and they depict every character on them. Whilst I am in LOVE with the dolls, how they're made and how they look, my mom thought I would love some merch as well- which was incredibly sweet, but I'll probably never use it. I'm not THAT into the fandom).

This year has been quite the struggle and for the most part very stressful. I'm glad it's over honestly. My mother is still sick and has been struggling with her knee injury quite a lot. I hope it is something that can be fixed and not a diagnosis like arthritis.

What else? - I noticed that, despite my sisters claims, she' not really in a tough financial situation. She just doesn't know how to budget properly with the money her hubby provides for her and the kids. She constantly shops brand name items, buys useless kitchen gadgets for 300 bucks she'll never use and doesn't see anything wrong with that. Her husband seems like he's at the end of his rope, but he didn't say anything during christmas dinner thankfully.

My other sister is now pregnant with her third child. I honestly do not want to go into detail on why it is a bad idea to concieve another child with an ex-husband who you just divorced this year, and called it quits with like three months ago during a "fresh new start". It's just plain stupid all around. Only up side is, my oldest niece, will finally recieve a sibling who truly loves her. And not a spoiled brat like her younger sister is. God I hate this kid, she drives me up the wall sometimes. (Example : "Grandma,you're not allowed to take a picture under the heart shaped fairly lights, cause hearts stand for love and you don't have anybody who loves you", is a real thing this little brat said to my mother).

But aside from that, let's focus on the positives. i've been drawing a bit more and work has been fun. I'm in the process of designing a few characters but I'm not entirely fulfilled yet, so I'll only post the girl character here.

I hope whoever reads this feels a bit better, and I hope that sharing a few details out of my life lets people know they are not alone. Life has its ups and downs and I think it is important we don't forget that from time to time.