#also i understand now why people say polyamory would save them all yeah it would have

[ps-babelism]

finally watched electric dreams.

my honest reaction

[teddy06writes]

Can I request a Sapnap x Karl x Quakity x Y/N ? I just like polyam ships and your Sapnap x Karl x Y/n just made me want more

Ee hee, thanks for the request

Sapnap x karl x reader x quackity (THE PEOPLE ARE ENABLING MEEEE)

trigger warnings: swearing, panic attack

premise: you and your boyfriends are out shopping/ trying to get kicked out of a target when you run into your asshole ex, when he starts to bother you your boys take care of it

(y/n/n)- your nick name

(also we’re pretending covid isn’t a thing)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“(y/n)! We are gods!”  

You turned at Alex’s call, snorting upon seeing he and Karl T posing while standing in the target cart, Nick balanced on the front, also t posing.

You laughed at your boyfriends, quickly taking a picture before Karl started to wobble and fall, “You guys are ridiculous.”

“Yup!” Karl grinned as Alex helped him out of the cart to avoid falling.

You shook your head, quietly putting the picture onto your twitter with the caption, ‘look at these nerds <3′

“You guys are gonna die from idiocy some day.”

“Not when your there to save us.” Nick countered, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“If anything they’ll get dragged down with us.” Alex scoffed.

“Tragically,” You muttered, “Did we actually come here to do anything but solicit?”

Karl giggled, “Well I thought we were just terrorizing the people of Target.”

“The only thing we actually needed was more notecards.” Nick reminded helpfully.

You smiled, “At least one of you is useful.”

“Hey!” Alex protested, “We’re useful too!”

“Sometimes.”  Karl giggled again.

“Betrayal!” He gasped dramatically as Karl threw his arms around his shoulders.

You rolled your eyes, “Well, if your useful too then, help me find notecards.”

Alex sighed dramatically, grabbing one your your hands and intertwining your fingers, “If we must.”

Karl grinned, hopping back to sit in the cart, “Lets go then!”

Nick rolled his eyes, muttering something about being ridiculous, before moving to the push the cart, you and Alex moving along beside them.

~~

A half hour later found many random unnecessary but still necessary items piled into the cart around Karl, and note cards had still not been found.

You were hallway through the seasonal section when you sighed, “Alright this is taking too long, I’m going to actually get the note cards, I think they’re just down there, try not to break anything.”

Karl chuckled, “No promises.”

You smiled and headed out of the isle, towards office supplies.

“Well, well, well, (y/n), fancy seeing you here.”

You froze in the middle of grabbing the biggest package of notecards, trying to keep your hand still as you turned, “John,,, uh hi?”

Now, John wasn’t the worst person, no your relationship wasn’t necessarily bad, but towards the end it definitely took a turn for the worse. When you’d first brought up breaking things off he was, less than thrilled, leaving the last few weeks of your relationship a battle field of screaming matches that consisted of little more than his yells.

“It’s been a while.” He smiled.

“Uhh, yeah, it has been.” You began to fidget with your fingers, eyes darting back up the isle towards where you’d left Nick, Alex and Karl.

“Let me guess, still single?” He laughed, “Yeah it would make sense, I’ve only pulled like one person since you.”

You glanced down, “Uhh, no actually.”

John frowned, letting acid drip into his voice, “Oh, I guess the were right when they said you always moved on fast.”

“It- it- it- it’s been a year and a half?” Your attempts to keep your voce steady began to fail, “And, I’ve only been dating one of them for a few months.”

-It was true, Alex had been the last one to join your relationship a few months ago-

His eyes narrowed, “You’re not telling me you’re still on the stupid polyamory thing are you?”

You cleared your throat uncertainly, “um, y- yeah, I have three boyfriends.”

He rolled his eyes, “There's no chance you’d ever fucking pull three people. Hell you barley even managed me.”

Your gaze stayed trained on the tile floor, unspeaking.

“It’s clear you haven’t moved past fucking your way into a relationship.”

You bit your lip, tears welling in your eyes as your breathing quickened, deep down you knew it wasn’t true, as a group you all respected Karl’s asexuality, even once, over some late night conversation of cuddles and lazily traded kisses, going so far as to promise that the relationship would remain entirely romantic if it made him more comfortable, and it had.

Still, there was a nagging in the back of your head, telling you that John was right. There obviously was only one reason they kept  you around.

“That really is a shame,” You felt his hand rest on your shoulder, “I know I would stay with you for more than that.”

“Get your fucking hand off of them or I will rip your arm off and beat you to death with it!”

You were simultaneously relieved and flooded with more anxiety upon hearing Nick’s voice.

“Who are you?” John asked skeptically.

“Their boyfriends, who the fuck are you?” Alex spit.

He laughed, dry and harsh, “So you’re the fucking idols who thought you could get away with dating (y/n), not that I care their very-”

“No, you shut the fuck up!” Nick cut him off before he could say anything else advancing up the isle towards him, “Why the fuck are you bothering them?!”

They continued a back and forth exchange, as you slowly slid down to the floor, nails pressing tightly into your palms, breathing far too fast.

“Hey, hey, (y/n/n), (y/n/n) look at me.”

You opened eyes that you didn’t realize had been screwed shut to see Karl kneeling sitting In front of you, looking worried.

“Can I touch you or no darlin?” He asked softly, almost making you forget the yelling happening only a few feet away.

You bit your lip, quickly shaking your head, the tiny seed of doubt John had planted in your mind starting to grow.

“Okay, that’s fine. Can you breath with me? In for seven, hold for 4 out for 8, yeah?”

After a moment of trying to breath in sync with him, you held out a hand, and understanding Karl took it, moving to pull you into his arms, “In for 7, out for 8, just like me alright?”

You all but melted into his touch, doing your best to breath normally again.

“Get the fuck outta here man!” Alex yelled.

“You’re gonna regret this.” John sneered.

“No,” Nick said firmly, “Your gonna regret messing with our partner if you don’t fucking leave.”

After you heard footsteps hurrying away you felt Alex settle on your other side, “You alright baby?”

“Their starting to breath normally again.” Karl reported, running a hand through your hair.

Nick sat down on Karl’s other side, and you all stayed sat on the floor of the offices supply isle, Alex sending death glares to anyone who tried to ask you to move.

Eventually you sat up, sniffing.

“Who was that?” Nick asked softly.

“My ex.” You murmured.

“Why was he bothering you? What did he say?”

“Stupid stuff,” You muttered, rubbing at your eyes, “C’n we go home now?”

“Of course Darlin.” Karl assured, standing up and turning to help you up.

~~

Later, back at the apartment, after everything had been put away, you all ended up in a cuddle plie on the couch, and that seed of doubt was beginning to shrivel with every pass Nick’s hands made through your hair, every small circle Alex absently traced into your palm and every tiny joke Karl made about the movie playing.

“Guys?” You asked softly.

“Yeah?” Alex asked.

“I love you.”

Karl grinned, “We love you too.”

Alex pressed a kiss to your knuckles in understanding and Nick  hummed in response.

The tiny seed of doubt was gone.

[blue-pastel-cat]

Xiaobedo Fanfic Recommendation

Welcome to my personal “if you are new to xiaobedo peeps please read these” list. As said before this is my personal list so please feel free to reblog/comment/hit me for not including any gem here. I might miss a lot of them because I am drunk or blind. (mostly have them on my to read and then forgot as I am being assault by real life shit).

I would like to say first that so far there are 150+ Xiaobedo fics on Ao3. I can’t review all of them but I can say that I have read a majority of them. Most of them are just pure love and I would like nothing more than a thousands thank you for all the fic writers who spent their free time writting these gems for us to read for free. But these...these takes the cake as it finds a special landing spot in my heart that I would just thrust them into someone’s hand if they say “I am new to this ship can you recommend me?”

1. Orange dust by bobamilkteas (Wes)

In which Xiao learns to open himself up to the world a little more after the collapse of Rex lapis's contracts but it was not always easy for a soul doomed to eternal damnation. Meanwhile, Albedo liked to tempt fate where the extraordinary are concerned.

If only the traveler's comrades are made of saner bunch.

Comment: Long ago when I like both Albedo and Xiao as a character, I was wondering hmmm....will anyone actually even write about them lmao they never met each other. I am surprise to see this one as the 3rd fic in the whole 3 Xiaobedo fic on Ao3 (yeah back when there’s literally only 3 fic for this couple). I was like I’ll read it for the curiosity, I’ll probably won’t ship them. And that people is how I put my clown make up on my face upon finishing reading it. This ONE fic alone convert me into a devotee of Xiaobedo. Please consider joining me in this circus if you want to know what is Xiaobedo. I would put this as the first of my “Big 3″

Orange Dust also come with its compliation of short stories over the course of the game and a big sequel to it. Please also consider reading ALL OF THEM.

2. Solar Wind by birdpriestess (Sparrow)

For the yaksha, his duty was his life, and his life was his duty. No human could ever hope to understand the eternal war he fought out of sight and in silence.

So why, then, did he feel that Albedo would understand?

---

Finding himself at death's door once more, Xiao is saved by a surprising person, setting off the unlikeliest of adventures.

Comment: Do you like crying? Do you like the feeling of getting your heart ripped into pieces as the author destroy your emotions over the end of each chapter as the story picked up the climax? Yeah, this one is for you masochists. The action, the characterisation, the drama THE EMOTIONS OH WOW. I kid you not that it was so good I read this while workinng when I am not suppose to me. Also, this fic has my favourite characterisation of Gold ever. I love that dramatic queen Mad Alchemist. AND DAIN. I LOVE DAIN IN THIS FIC. Our dearest Sparrow manage to toy with our feelings like how I bully ruin guard for big numbers lmao. This is the secound of “Big 3″ of my Xiaobedo list.

Again, just like Orange Dust, Solar Wind comes with its own compliation of short stories of what came after that. Please also consider reading ALL OF THEM.

3. Castle of Glass by AlchemicalStardust (Morgie) 

A black shadow rises over Huaguang Stone Forest. Caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, Albedo flees the shaking ground and the crash of boulders tumbling form the sky. As the dust settles, Albedo finds a young man – an Adeptus – amidst the carnage. Despite the karmic agony ripping his body from the inside, Xiao’s only question is “How?” How did a human survive after witnessing his battle?

Comment: The last of the “Big 3″ of my Xiaobedo list. And it is still on going! Castle of Glass? More like I AM IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTIONS! Have you read a fic about 2 people yearning, longing, reaching out for each other so damn well that you just want to throw your phone in the air as they both had their impending doom coming down upon them? Yeah this is one of them. You will like want to be stuck in the moment they express how much they just yearn for each other’s love and care that you want to shake the author for what comes next. Like...everytime Morgie update I am expressing my gratitude at the end of the chapter by writing on Xiaobedo discord “MORGIE COME HERE AND LET ME BONK YOU WHY ARE YOU ENDING IT THERE”

trust me when you read you will def feel the same. With just Big 3 and their compliation alone that would give you like a LONG list of reading already LMAOOOOOOO

4. Find a place to call it home  by yamajiroo 

Our room, he said. Xiao’s brow twitches. Zhongli never said anything about this. But then again, perhaps he should anticipate this from the beginning...

Xiao looks over at Albedo, who is now tilting his head, his look as innocent as ever.

“Are you not okay with sharing a room?”

Comment: College AU for Xiaobedo! One thing that I love this is the slow burn and what made me LOVE LOVE LOVE this fic more is how cute Klee is in this fic. Their relationship in this one is very simple, but that simplicity highlight why their chemistry work. Xiao is someone who was just very gentle, who was largely misunderstood by his lonesome nature. Albedo was someone who like peace and quite in his introvert bubble. And how they respect that bubble that each other has actually made their relationship work. I love it when fic highlight this and this one captures it.

5. I Can't See Your Face From the Other Side of the Classroom by MissWeaver  

When Albedo and Xiao unexpectedly start eating lunch together, they begin to find that they have more in common than anyone would have realized. They both struggle in their own ways with blossoming feelings, too many assignments, and annoying classmates as they navigate a relationship for the first time.

Comment: I’ll be honest, I usually hate high school au just because its so cliche. I don’t even watch and drama/anime surrounds high school student anymore LMAOOO (unless it’s very good). So if there’s an high school AU that I actually keep come back and read after a couple of chapters, it means that the cliche that I hate wasn’t there or barely was there at all. The pinning in this fic makes me want to bang their head together sometimes LMAOOO The tag wasn’t kidding when they said both Xiao and Albedo are bad at feelings. Also that’s a lot of heart broken caused by these two idiots XD

6. new world, same me, same bullshit  by  bobamilkteas (Wes)

At the belly of Dragonspine, Albedo lost control to the festering corruption that permeated his senses and watched, from the recesses of his mind, as his devoured body turned his allies into enemies. Before his rampage reached its climax, he is sealed in a crystalized confinement by the last hand of Reindottir, where he then reawakens centuries after, in a rebooted Teyvat.

Comment: Yeah I know it was list in Orange Dust but here me out. This sets out in an entirely different universe. And if you like Polyamory, this one has Zhongli joining the duo and I love it because I also love ZhongXiao with my life. Time Travel is my biggest kink. Especially when I am the person who love it when people explore Archon War era/ Alatus!Xiao. So this one hits double of my kink. Of course it is still on going and I will bully Wes whenever I can to see that new chapter. Albedo is a total fucking badass in this story and I completely agree from using him in Abyss so often. Everyone should write badass Albedo.

7. misplaced heart of mine by  inkburn           

“If you are ill, then you should be resting at home. In Mondstadt.” He emphasized Mondstadt with a pointed look in his direction.

“I assure you I won’t be troublesome, Adeptus Xiao,” Albedo said, “You’ll find I’m a rather low-maintenance traveler.”

“Travel,” Xiao scoffed, “without airstep?”

Albedo looked him up and down. “Are your legs just for decoration?”

(albedo is sent to liyue on mandatory vacation. xiao is his unfortunate bodyguard.)

Comment: Most of the time you will see Albedo and Xiao starting their relationship with one of them taking interest in another. But this one took another approach, they starting off by make them hating each other’s guts LMAOOOO and I live for every second of it. There’s only 1 chapter so far but wow it was SOOO GOOD. I am really really excited for next chapter and is waiting patiently ;w;

8.  Blossom of Grace  by birdpriestess  

One day in Liyue Harbor, Albedo watches a street performance by an enigmatic dancer named Xiao. And he becomes completely obsessed.

Comment: Have you ever look at Xiao fight and thinking that he’s one of the most beautiful deadly thing ever? How it was like he was dancing around the battlefield? How about actual dancer Xiao being so absolutely beautiful and perfect and that slow burn of Albedo falling in love with that beauty with a touch of Modern AU and cute Ganyu as the Wing woman. Yes, Sparrow delivers yet again another beautiful slow burn and while it’s still ongoing it is worth the read.

9. i think we could make this work (could get used to this) by outspaced               

“Xiao? What are you doing out here?”

“I—”

“It’s raining,” Albedo says, as if it isn’t obvious. “You could get struck by lightning.”

“What are you doing out here then?” Xiao does the only thing he knows how to do, he challenges Albedo. “It’s raining.”

Albedo just hums. “If I get struck by lightning, it’s for science.”

Comment: A short one-shot where I read the summary and went “This is it... this is their relationship.” I am sold immediately. Oh god Albedo why are you like this.

10. Ephemeral by criedprinz        

“It’s not for your investigation, is it?” Aether asked mildly.

Albedo traced a finger around the sketchbook, considering the question. “No,” he admitted finally. “I... I just want to see them again.”

He opened the sketchbook to reveal the drawing he’d just finished. Aether nodded, clearly recognizing the sharp golden eyes.

“Xiao,” he said. “You were rescued by an adeptus.”

When a visit to Dragonspine goes horribly wrong, Albedo is rescued by an unknown stranger, wielding powers he's never heard of. Led on a search to find out who it is, he finds himself in the middle of an unforgettable encounter..

Comment: A really really well written one-shot that I love. The yearning oh godddd the yearning from Albedo side is just so so much that I have to put it here. (I think you can see the trend here lmao. I am a sucker for yearning). And the moment they get to meet each other again is just chef kiss. MWHAA

11. Idle Yaksha, Brilliant Yaksha by Pit0fTheEarth

Alatus didn’t have a lot of responsibilities to keep. He spent most of his days dancing across the sky and eating away all nightmares that plagued a person’s sleep.

But one fortunate encounter led to too many unfortunate ones, taking his carefree existence and plunging it in darkness. His wings, stripped from him. His gentle touch, replaced by an unforgiving grip of destruction.

There was a lot of blood on his hands. With each passing moment, it became harder for Alatus to recall the last time someone gently held him.

Comment: This is one of the ongoing fic where I am very very much excited on the take of Naberius. And the way the author portray Xiao when he’s still the innocent Alatus is just *clench fist*. Baby ;w; Baby why do you have to lose all that innocence. Also the fic has long LONG flashback to Xiao past and his relationship with Naberius. We are unwielding more what happened to both of them and why perhaps does this have to do with Albedo.

That’s it for now, might add more later! Thank you <3

[oh-no-toshinori]

#3 Pride Month Story

Hey all! Sorry for not posting one in a week or something like that. I wanted to post one every day, but apparently graduating and working is a lot more work than it should be. This story is based on polyamory. I'm not saying that this story is how poly-amorous relationships go, neither is it how they don't work out for those who are poly. This is merely what I've experienced from the peers around me. I'm not poly, so I won't be able to make this one too personal like I was able to accomplish with the Bisexual Story.

I struggled a lot to figure out which anime I wanted to showcase for this one. In the end, it came down to My Hero Academia. These stories are merely fan-based and none of them are accurate to the shows correlated with the story. I know that the sexualities in MHA are pretty clearly stated, so please do not take offense to any ships I have going for this one.

I will not be using an OC (original character) for this one. I will be using the characters that are within the anime. This will be written in the POV of Jirou Kyoka.

- - -

My name's Jirou Kyoka. It's no secret that I like males and females, but what people don't really know about me is that I'm polyamorous. I've kept it a secret from my current U.A classmates for about a year now, but it's not exactly working out for me anymore. I'm dating one of my classmates, Kaminari Denki. If you're wondering, I didn't tell him that I'm interested in open relationships. It's a huge oops on my end, but I'm almost 100% certain that Denki is no stranger to polyamory. I know I have to tell him soon about myself. Things just might get out of hand if I don't tell him because. . .

I think I'm in love with Yao-Momo. It's a huge struggle to stop myself because I know there are people out there that aren't like me. Heck, Yao-Momo might even shut me down because of my sexualities for all I know, not just Kaminari.

Shit man, this is kind of terrifying. Then again, Yao-Momo hasn't pushed me away ever since I came out as bisexual, so who knows? Maybe she won't shut me out if I tell her another part of me?

But then again, how will Kaminari feel? Will he push me away? I know I still want to be with him, but I also want to be with Yao-Momo. If they don't want to be together, they don't have to be. This kind of relationship doesn't always have to be a throuple. Why is this confusing?

I take a deep breath in and look ahead of me. Walking to lunch with the swirling thoughts of concern and confusion has made me lose my appetite, but the show must go on. Can't work in Aizawa Sensei's class on an empty stomach.

I reach the cafeteria and gather my meal. I go to sit with Ashido, Kirishima, Bakugou, Sero, and my boyfriend Kaminari. I must've been visibly distraught because as soon as I made my appearance at the table, the entire crew forced their gazes onto me. I set my plate down next to Kaminari's before wiping the sticky cold sweat from my forehead. Well, that's disgusting.

"Jirou, you look like you've seen a ghost. Are you okay?" Ashido speaks up against the silence. Her face grew into a look of concern.

"Yeah, I'm just nervous today is all. I think I forgot my Anti-Depressants or something." Well, that's at least half of the story. I don't need them to know more. Wait, did I really forget mt Anti-Depressants? What the fuck I'm so fucked. Calm Down, Kyoka. It's just one day. ONE DAY! Why am I scared again? Oh, right. I have to confess something to my boyfriend as well as Yao-Momo. Cool.

"Girl, you look like you're buggin' over there."

"Kyoka, what's wrong?" Kaminari asks me as he gently presses his hand upon the middle of my back.

I've gotta admit. This is eating me ALIIIVE I tell you. "Hey, um, Denki, Do you think you could get Yao-Momo and meet me out in the hallway? I need to talk to the both of you." THAT MAKES IT SOUND LIKE HE'S CHEATING OH GOD.

"Uhm, okay?" He takes his confused self over to Yao-Momo's table to take her out into the hallway. While he's grabbing her, I tell the gang that everything is okay; Kaminari did nothing bad and I just needed to have a small talk with them about class half of that explanation being a lie to save my own ass.

Sero, Kiri and Ashido look at me in question, but shrug it off while Bakugou doesn't pay an ounce of attention to the conversation. . . which I'm thankful for. He would have told me to get the fuck out if I wanted to be a pussy, and that's the last thing I need right now.

I meet Denki and Yao-Momo in the hallway I've told them to meet me. I take in a deep breath, shake my hands, and wiggle my feet.

"What's going on here, Jirou?" Yao-Momo asks me, her motherly concern expressing itself like a warm summer day.

I take in a huge gulp of air and. . . .

"I'mpolyamorousandI'minlovewiththebothofyouandIcan'thelpitandIwasn'tgoingtosayanythingbecauseIfeellikeIwillbejudgedandlosemyrelationshipsthatIhavewiththebothofyou."

Denki's face goes completely blank while Momo's reaction is one of shock.

"Wait a minute, are you asking for a relationship between the three of us?" Momo asks. How the hell did she manage to understand me?!

"I- I don't really know what I'm asking! I love tthe both of you and I want to be with the both of you, but you two don't need to date if you don't want to!" The cold sweats come back harder this time. I wipe my face all over, as well as my neck, with the handkerchief from my breast pocket.

"Jirou, I'm glad you're coming clean to us, but-"

"A relationship with the both of you?! Maaaaan that sounds like a dream." Interrupts Denki as he goes off daydreaming about scenarios.

"I'm not on the same page as Kaminari." Announces the obsidian-eyed female. "For one; I don't want to be in an awkward situation in such a relationship, two; it's not for me, and three; I'm with Shoto now."

I look at her dead in the eye. I really panicked over nothing. How could I not know that she was dating Shoto? She's been oddly close to him for six months, there was no way for me to miss that. Yet. . . somehow I missed it.

"Jirou, I don't like girls either. So in any situation I wouldn't have told you yes. I'm as straight as they come. I don't agree with your lifestyle or your sexualities, but just know that I still like you as a person aside from that. I will be on my way to eating now. Thank you and goodbye." Momo storms back into the lunchroom she had just left.

That hurt like a bitch. Wow.

Denki walks up to me and hugs me tight for a long few moments. As he pulls away from me, he wipes my tears away. "Kyoka, I need you to know that I support you. If you want an open relationship, I'm on board, okay?"

I nod slowly before bursting into tears. Tell me why this hurt? I knew she wasn't going to go for it. . . then again I still fantasized about something that could have been. Maybe that's why this hurt.

Thank god for Kaminari Denki. If he weren't by my side, I don't know what I would have done.

"Thank you for being supportive." I sniffle. I take his hand into mine before we both walk into the cafeteria. My eyes were bloodshot and tear-stained while Denki had a solemn smile on his face. It was almost as if he was hurt by Momo as well.

I just hope this kind of pain doesn't happen too often because this actually kind of hurt, not gonna lie. . .

I'm not sure if i would ever trade Denki for the world. For him to be supportive and loving still means so much to me, and it only makes me love him all the more so.

[psqqa]

by the time i stopped to consider why the fuck i was putting this together in the first place, i’d already typed most of it up. idk i guess i just like throwing my joy into the void, where the void can either choose to ignore it or derive some joy from it itself. either is fine.

anyway, i’m never going to have enough of these in any one category to put together a proper FST or anything, nor am i capable of imprinting on a song for reasons that aren’t like “feathers.......hawks”, because really this is all driven by my terrible sense of humour, but what i have collected so far Sparks Joy, so into the void it goes. 

psqqa’s list of songs applicable to bnha in some way, shape, or form

No One Is Alone - Into the Woods - this is a vibe i’ve been getting from the manga for a while but then the my villain academia arc just totally cinched it (while we’re seeing our side/maybe we forgot/they are not alone/no one is alone)

Falling - Haim - this one is a bakugou song for me, which probably says something about me because i’m fairly sure it could almost equally be a midoriya song if you wanted it to be. yes, both could be good, but the brain doesn’t always work that way. (they keep saying/don’t stop/no it’s never enough/i’ll never look back/never give up/and if it gets rough/it’s time to get rough)

Ice and the Storm - My Brightest Diamond - inatodo. i did warn you. (darling we’ve accumulated/too much miscommunication/in the beginning everything is soft/not defensive/perhaps we begin again/shining)

Sacrilege - Yeah Yeah Yeahs - feathers.......hawks. probably dabi/hawks given the options so far, but that’s pretty immaterial tbh (fallen for a guy/fell down from the sky/halo/round his head/feathers in our bed)

Girl - Anouk - listen i’m not going to lie, i’ve never fully been able to figure out what the hell is going on in this song. like, i would say it’s just straight up anouk being in love with the titular “Girl”, but then there’s the “him” in the first verse so who even knows. i’ve settled on polyamory, which makes this my jirou highkey got the feels for yaomomo and lowkey got the feels for kaminari and she needs yaomomo to understand this so they can work on a frankly totally unnecessary because kaminari is already all in baby Wooing Plan (still got my hands/they’re clinging/so i just keep going/i don’t know where i belong/could i belong to you)

Electric Feel - MGMT - electric..........kaminari. i like to think of it in terms of kaminari/jirou/yaomomo. idk maybe he gets bored waiting for them to plan their Wooing Plan and just takes matters into his own terrible pickup line hands. or perhaps it’s just aimed at yaomomo and we can take these two songs jointly to be The Wooing of YaoMomo. which actually now that i’ve typed it out i am quite fond of as an idea. (i said ooh girl/shock me like an electric eel/baby girl/turn me on with your electric feel)

the three song stretch that runs Slow Show-Apartment Story-Start A War - The National - The Soul-Crushing Weight Of Being In Your Early-To-Mid-Twenties!kiribaku. this would be like triply the case if i were reading this manga in 2012 instead of 2019. (i wanna hurry home to you/put on a slow dumb show for you/and crack you up - be still for a second while i/try and try to pin your flowers on/can you carry my drink i have everything else/i can tie my tie all by myself - do you really think you can just/put it in a safe behind a/painting lock it up and leave/walk away now/and you’re gonna start a war)

Fireproof - The National - also kiribaku. look man idk what to tell you. it just be like that sometimes. (you’re fireproof/nothing breaks your heart/you’re fireproof/it’s just the way you are)

The Man of Metropolis Steals Our Hearts - Sufjan Stevens - man of steel, man of heart...............tetsutetsu. pick your tetsutetsu ship of choice. it doesn’t matter. all parties equally applicable because only a steel man can be a lover/if he had hands to tremble all over/we celebrate our sense of each other/we have a lot to give one another

New Shoes - Paolo Nutini - kirishima song!! (hey i put some new shoes on/and suddenly everything’s right/i said hey i put some new shoes on/and everybody’s smiling/it’s so inviting)

Dance Apocalyptic - Janelle Monae - mina song!! what can i say, it’s got mina energy. also i feel like ‘dance apocalyptic’ would a great hero name for mina. (but i really, really want to thank you/for dancing ‘til the end/you found a way to break out/you’re not afraid to break out)

Whoo! Alright – Yeah...Uh Huh - The Rapture - kaminari song!!! do the lyrics even work for him? who knows, i’m just in it for the cowbell. and so is kaminari. (people don’t dance no more/they just stand there like this/they cross their arms and/stare you down and/drink and moan and diss)

Invincible - OK Go - now i could, and i guess sort of do, think of this as a bakugou ship song generally, but to be quite honest, i think it’s probably just the song his brain plays on a loop whenever he does anything (when they finally come to destroy the earth/they’ll have to deal with you first/and now my money says they won’t know about/the thousand fahren/heit hot metal/lights behind your eyes/invincible/oh oh oh/you’re invincible)

Daniel - Bat for Lashes - tododeku - don’t @ me (daniel/when i first saw you/i knew that you had/a flame in your heart/and under wild blue skies/marble movie skies/i found a home in your eyes/we’d never be apart)

Gekommen um zu bleiben - Wir sind Helden - BAKUSQUAD!!!! i mean, also like 1-a generally, but for me it’s really the bakusquad.....also i literally just realized that the band name itself works really well here (wir gehen nicht/aber wenn wir gehen/dann gehen wir in scheiben/entschuldigung ich sagte/wir sind gekommen um zu bleiben)

Don’t Call Me Baby - Madison Avenue - the kacchako song. why? because i was reliving the turn of the millennium. next question. (don’t think that i’m not strong/i’m the one to take you on/don’t underestimate me boy/i’ll make you sorry you were born/you don’t know me/the way you really should/you sure misunderstood/don’t call me baby)

You Will Not Take My Heart Alive - Joanna Newsom - All Might. although i think this entire album is one he would Have Feelings about. and tbh it’s impossible at this point for me to consider any one song off this album entirely on its own. it’s always within the greater context of the album as a whole. (and i won’t come round this way again/where the lonely wind abides/and you will not take my heart alive)

Don’t Wanna Fight - Alabama Shakes - bakudeku. i didn’t actually think any song would ping me as bakudeku at any point, but here we are. (what you like/what i like/why can’t we both be right?/attacking/defending/until there’s nothing left/worth winning)

Mrs. Robinson - Simon & Garfunkel - hawks/dabi-hawks/endeavour melodramatic clusterfuck. no i’m not taking questions. (DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE/DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO/DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE DEE)

Riot Rhythm - Sleigh Bells - riot........kirishima. but yeah kirishima and bakugou are bros and that’s Good. they might also be more than bros, but that’s up to you i guess. (because my best friend/she's okay/carve you out/all the way/straight A kids/like a treat/she stands up/takes the heat)

In The Shadows - The Rasmus - tokoyami. i feel like i’m virtually incapable of talking about tokoyami without also mentioning this song, but like, you’ve seen the video right? (i've been watching/i've been waiting/in the shadows/for my time)

The Hero - Queen - this one is probably cheating, given that it was written for the actual soundtrack of an actual superhero movie, but it’s not like there’s any rules to this and i’ve never seen the movie......or anything else with flash in it i guess, so whatever. anyway, not so much All Might as like every character in this manga when they were 4yo watching All Might. (he’s for every one of us/stands for every one of us/he’ll save with a mighty hand)

Impossible Soul - Sufjan Stevens - this wasn’t on this list until sometime around 2:30 AM last night when i was lying awake because i didn’t take my nightly melatonin and something something i can’t even vaguely remember the train of thought but it ended in me deciding this was a good bakudeku song. not so much the first part, but like ‘do you want to be afraid’ onward. maybe the eight minutes of “boy we can do much more together” will be enough for bakugou to get the message. (boy we can do much more together/better get it right/get it right/get it right/get it right/boy we can do much more together/it’s not so impossible)

to be updated if further song pinging happens, i guess?

[lorentibbs-blog]

Manic Depressive

Manic Depressive.

Every morning he makes me a cup of tea.

Once he even delivered a Harry Spesh- one-part espresso, one- part hot water and one- part steamed milk, to me in the shower. I wondered whether Espresso Cartel could offer this service during alert level 3 in the current pandemic.

“I do not want a relationship”. He looked at me with eyes verging on panic. Our conversation before that had also put me on edge. I had introduced myself and he said ‘I know who you are. We are friends on Facebook’. It had made me feel uncomfortable to have been connected on social media with someone who I did not recognize in real life. He had even come to my flat to collect a costume from my flatmate before the party we were at and I did not recognize him then or now.

 A party on top of a mountain. Well because my life had become rather progressive and trendy from the outside looking in. My flatmates had introduced me into a world of polyamory, sophisticated and successful people who cared about the environment, radical self-acceptance ( I only understood it as a concept at this point), and drug use that took me to places I’d never imagined. Inside however, I was in absolute turmoil. I was very unwell and did not know how sick I was at that point.

We had laughed as he explained that we had matched on Tinder and I had insisted on communicating on Facebook. We had arranged to meet at Toad Hall for coffee but 10 minutes beforehand I had decided it was all too much for me. When I looked back on that conversation, Sebastian had responded eloquently to my crazed blow off message and even said that he had had a lovely morning at the market instead. He has this way of understanding and making you feel human for your flaws rather than an insane nut job. The jury is still out for me on that one

The party itself was too much for me. I had climbed a mountain on LSD with two amazing wahine and then stepped into the lodge which was full of equally astounding people. I was terrified. I made my way to a bunk and clung on to my safety duo, Clara, and Tess. We went through the motions, the costumes, dinner (more vegan options than not), excruciating anxiety, the drugs, the fashion show, and the sex pile. The fashion show had ended with my flatmate Ngairi, whose birthday it was, atop a human pyramid. I dropped some MDMA like most of the party goers had. I had hoped this would curb my anxiety and fatigue. It helped but I did find myself going back and forth between the main room and my bunk all night. At one stage I had been led onto another bunk by my other flatmate Ryan, who was Ngairi’s partner. They are polyamorous you see, and he had asked me if I had wanted to hook up.

I always feel so good the next day after MDMA. I should probably explore why this is. I guess when I am on the drug, I have all these revelations and then the next morning potentially I feel lighter?

So, after 12 hours of stepping into the lodge I was finally ready to introduce myself to someone. 

Sebastian was by himself pretending to look busy with a broom. I enthusiastically (probably the most energetic and social I had felt the whole time) introduced myself and the conversation flowed around depression, anxiety, and Sebastian’s house build. I had suggested that we go for coffee at Toad Hall like we had initially planned to 2 years before. This is where I was taken back with his response of “I don’t want a relationship” it was like he had seen my brain ticking off all the characteristics I was valuing as we spoke. “sensitive, understanding of depression, attractive, a Colgate worthy smile, built his own house, older than me, mutual friends and blue eyes that saw right through me”. Later I would tease him about his panicked response as if I were ‘just’ asking him to go for coffee

Getting to know Sebastian has been a remarkably interesting journey since then and has been the catalyst for much introspection.

As I walked down the mountain that afternoon, I did a lot of self-reflection. I was thankful that one of our trio had left us early and I was left just walking down with Clara Keel. I found it so easy to talk to Clara. I think she found it easy to talk to me too. Even in a manic-depressive episode I was able to make beautiful connections with admirable people. Her girlfriend suffered from major depression and anxiety and was on Venlafaxine. It was very enlightening to hear from Clara as a partner with someone with depression. Clara invited me to go snowboarding with her and her friends over the winter and we promised to see each other very soon. I did not see her again for a long time. Turns out she is outrageously hard to pin down. I am stoked about that though because Clara keeps herself busy with a lot of incredible environmental and political work. We stopped and chatted to various people from the party down the mountain. Our ride Mikey Clementine was running down the mountain and said he was happy to wait for us at the carpark.  We caught up with Sebastian and a crew he was walking with. We walked down with him and I was very aware of him positionally to me. I did not really talk too much. Id taken a mushroom and weed coconut concoction that my ex had made me and I was vibing with the trees and my surroundings. I was very appreciative of the conversation Sebastian and Clara were having and was happy just witnessing it

On the ride back, my mushroom trip was really kicking in. Mikey blew my mind when he described his interest in the dominant and submissive scene. He made a point I have never forgotten and in that moment a switch flicked in my head. He explained that with every sexual session all participants would sit down before hand and have a discussion around their expectations, wants, limits, and fetishes. If either party felt uncomfortable or did not feel like their sexual style matched, then nothing would go ahead. I felt like these conversations should be happening around any kind of sex. It would save so much miscommunication and boundaries being crossed. In the history of my sexual life these conversations were really lacking and had there been space for them that may have saved a lot of suffering. Interesting that this style of sex is viewed in quite a dark and risky light by most but could potentially be the safest kind in terms of discussion, boundaries and consent. Purely because a discussion is expected and is compulsory beforehand.

Ngairi was absolutely filled with joy after her birthday party. We chatted in the kitchen and she was fizzing about the weekend’s events. I began to tell her the story about Sam and I and our failed tinder meet up. She paused me mid-way through and vomited rainbows and unicorns over her experience of Sebastian that weekend. She described their rendezvous in the pile of costumed MDMA cuddle puddle participants. Ngairi was on top of Sebastian in the cuddle puddle.  “Ryan bounced up to me in his bunny costume and I was so happy to see him” she described their embrace as she disclosed into Ryan’s ear “Sebastian has a boner!”. Ryan and Ngairi both giggled and shared a cheeky grin as he bounced away. Sebastian was fingering Ngairi the whole time the interaction took place. As it turned out, Ngairi and Sebastian had fooled around in the cuddle puddle and had intercourse before Ngairi returned to her bunk with Ryan. Later Sebastian would tell me he thought I had known that him and Ngairi had slept together the night before when I asked him if he wanted to go for a coffee. ‘yeah I thought you knew and were still asking me out. I thought wow this polyamory thing is real eye-opening stuff

Ryan in turn had hooked up with a large percentage of the party, me included. When Ryan and I had hooked up I was taken back when he stopped our encounter and told me he was going back to the party. It was interesting to initially feel rejected he did not want to take things further like I thought we were going to. I am thankful for the experience of having someone stop me in my tracks sexually. Anyone can stop any sexual encounter at any time. I guess I was just flabbergasted momentarily as I have never had any male stop me before. I stayed in the bunk and rested after this. Ryan came back to check if I was okay. I was so exhausted, and my brain was very fuzzy at this stage.

I will not deny that I was disappointed when Ngairi had told me about her encounter with Sebastian. In fact, I will go as far as to say I thought “fuck you Ngairi, you have the best boyfriend can’t you be happy with that”. I reflected on this thought process and by the end of the week I was disappointed in myself for thinking this way.

Ngairi Newton chose to live her life this way. She was in a committed polyamorous relationship with Ryan Mcgregor This relationship allowed her to explore any other relationship in any way she liked and vice versa. I had found her perspective on relationships so exciting initially.  Polyamory was a new concept for me, and I had found myself in the household of the most exceptional and liberating relationship id ever heard of.

So how did I find myself in the position I was in? Unemployed, depressed, anxiety ridden and barely coping, living with two of the most inspirational and functional people I have ever met?

I was living with Ngairi and Ryan for the second time. The first time was only a three week stay while I was in between places. I am always in between places as you will find out. I am in between places right now as we speak. And will be 5 times over by the time this story is done.

Emilie my flatmate at the time had invited me to a Halloween party. Emilie was a very bizarre and unnerving woman but one that was difficult to say no to. I remember feeling instantly connected to her when I first viewed the room. We engaged in deep conversation incredibly early on, I mean I do not believe I was there longer than half an hour. We both identified our fathers as the cause of all the turmoil in our lives.  She did not hear me when I first knocked on the door even though I was bang-on on time (sat outside in the car for 20 minutes because I was early). She was on her kitchen floor pulling all the contents out of the cupboard. Her current flatmate had told her about a book that was about de cluttering your life (literally). She had just flown back from a disastrous 3-month trip in France and was experiencing some severe jet lag. She had just cleaned out her wardrobe and I left in a state of glee with all the gorgeous garments this exciting woman no longer wanted. Two weeks into moving in with Emilie I knew I had made a mistake. We found ourselves in a very messy situation in the end that was further complicated by my close friends taking the room I was not quite ready to give up.

 I had realized that I could not live with her. She had taken it to heart when I told her this and somehow my telling her I was thinking about looking for a new room turned into me giving her two weeks’ notice. I guess there may have been a miscommunication. Little did I know how scarce accommodation in Nelson was at this point.  Anyway, through all of this we managed to stay civil and she invited me, like the Gemini she is, to a party the weekend before I was to move out.  We found it difficult to find the party and when we did it was really humming. Turned out to be a party of a woman who I had met before. Again, on the path to finding the right accommodation.  Chrissie and I had met at Claudia’s house. Claudia owned a house I had fallen in love with, the room available was Christie’s room. I did not get the room. This party was a housewarming for Chrissie’s new place. I had enquired about this place as well.  Chrissie had told me over text that she was looking for a new house because she wanted to take drugs over the summer and have more of a party living environment. She then said that she thought it would not really suit me as at that point I had intense social anxiety. Since then I have befriended several people in a circle of friends that Chrissie and I now share. We have encountered each other a few times. Each of those times I have been unwell. She is beautiful, funny, Canadian and she is an engineer. Its hard not to be starstruck by her. I imagine Chrissie and I would get on like a house on fire if I were at my best when I ran into her, I always seem to be unwell though. Emilie is gone within moments of us entering the sea of costumed people. I make a bee line to the table of snacks. And I start munching on chips and dip as if my life depended on it. I am not sure how it happened but I found myself in a conversation with a woman in an amazing shiny pants suit, the blazer atop a sequined bikini top, her face was painted in a Mexican skull design and she had a platinum blonde bob. What a bad bitch. (id never actually say that in real life. Real hero behind a keyboard type stuff)

When Mel, a fellow volunteer from the Wellness Movement, suggested asking her if she would rent out her spare room, I was not picturing Ngairi as the woman in from of me.

I had imagined a 40 + year old slightly chubby Maori woman with a couple of cats. As it turned out Ngairi only had one cat named Espresso. I am fairly sure Espresso wouldn’t have had me if she had had a choice in the matter. Fair enough too as it turns out.

[wroughtbetwixtfanfic]

A Place To Call Home, Ch 7.

Fandom: Rosewell, New Mexico.

Summary: A canon divergent take on Roswell, New Mexico, and the relationships  between Isobel, Noah, and Rosa; later parts will shift the focus to  Michael and Alex, as well as Michael and Noah. What is it like to share a  body with another alien? Can broken trust be mended? Do the ends really  justify the means?  

Rating: M.

Tags: Canon divergence, minor  character death, not really character death, body sharing, polyamory,  hurt/comfort, addiction problems, sickfic, revenge, fix it, friends to  enemies to lovers, lovers to enemies to lovers, Noah is complicated, cw:  dubious age stuff for a little bit considering Nasedo/Noah is  who-the-hell-knows how old.

Word Count: 2371

Nasedo stirred inside the stasis pod.

He was alone in his head,  the link between himself and Isobel severed, but he felt something else  coursing through his body. Something familiar and sublime--  power.

The  muscles in his arms flexed. His legs cramped as he began to stretch and  push against the confines of the pod. His skin no longer looked  decayed, and for the first time in decades, Nasedo felt his heart and  lungs expand and contract with ease. Somehow, his body was healing.  There wasn't time to ponder how or why; his body was also fighting to be  free of its prison, after being trapped for so long. He shoved against  the barrier, and this time, it gave way.

He coughed as he tumbled  from the pod to the dusty cave floor. The pressure of the rock against  his palms was overwhelming. The air that flowed in from outside was  grating against his flesh. Crickets chirping outside sounded like  hideous sirens to his ears, and the oxygen of the atmosphere made him  dizzy. Still. His legs supported him when he stood, even though they  wobbled as he tried to walk. Nasedo squinted in the moonlight as he made  his way outside of the cave, the brightness of it making pain throb  just behind his eyes.

Finally, he was free. There was a moment of  joy, before that happiness crashed down into sorrow. At what cost? In  their species culture, it was common for warriors to absorb the life  force of fallen enemies, or for elders to bless loved ones with their  last threads of energy as they ascended to the afterlife. But did it  work with humans, too? Could their kind absorb the life force of other  species? Nasedo stared at his hands, wanting to vomit. It wasn't right.  It was downright ghoulish.

But it was, and he couldn't change that. Not unless...

Despite  the fact that his body had repaired itself, enough to exist outside the  pod, Nasedo couldn't move with haste. Not yet. He hobbled to where  Rosa's corpse-- and where Isobel and her brothers-- should have been, a  naive hope fluttering in his chest. Maybe if he got to them, he could  explain. Beg for their mercy. Promise to help them, to tell them about  home, to teach them to use their powers in exchange for their  forgiveness. Perhaps he didn't deserve compassion or their  understanding, but surely they would believe that he hadn't intended for  this to happen.

Except they were gone. All three aliens, the two  dead twits, and Rosa. Completely gone, as if they'd never existed, save  for faint drag marks on the ground. Michael, Nasedo realized. He'd  moved the bodies, like he had the night that Max killed Isobel's  attacker. Travel would be slow. His clothes-- a formal looking uniform  that Protectors wore-- had maintained integrity during stasis, but foot  coverings weren't common during space journeys and time in stasis had  left his skin delicate. Nasedo followed the marks, ignoring the way the  sun-scorched rocks and sharp plants bit into his bare feet. He couldn't  worry about discomfort just then. He had to catch up with the heirs  before they did something ridiculous.

He smelled smoke, and heard the sounds of a loud commotion, before he saw the wreckage. It was too late; they'd already done  something ridiculous. Nasedo crouched down, keeping to the shadows as  he peered through brush at the scene on the road before him. There were  no less than four police cars, another plain black SUV, and a large  white van belonging to a medical examiner. A handful of people were  mulling around the charred remains of two cars, and the rest were  between the medical examiner's vehicle and the SUV. A few members of the  second group wore military uniforms.

Fuck. Nasedo eyed the  smouldering cars, trying to figure out what in the bleeding stars had  happened. The heirs were long gone, for sure, and the fire was nothing  more than ash; whatever had occurred, it had been at least half an hour  ago. Skid marks on the road. Two cars, both melted. Had they tried to  cover up the deaths as a car crash? Nasedo swallowed hard as fear  bloomed in his chest. If Rosa's corpse was destroyed, there would be no  way to fix what he'd done.

There was only one way to know for  sure, and that would be to investigate the scene. Nasedo cursed under  his breath in his mother tongue. Before, on their homeworld, it would  have been simple to manipulate a dozen individuals into whatever he  needed them to do. But here? After being is stasis for so long, rotting  away? He had no idea if his powers would work, much less on so many  minds.

All he needed them to do was not notice him. His clothing  was dark, with nothing remarkable or flashy about it. Perhaps, if he was  careful, he could pull it off. If he couldn't, he might as well be dead  anyways. Nasedo closed his eyes, focusing. Nothing. Nasedo grit his  teeth, digging deep inside his body and clawing for the base of his  power. It took longer than he liked, but he felt it there inside his  cells, rising up and crackling through his veins. There.

Standing,  he walked forward. Stretching out his mind, he let it brush against the  minds of the humans present, soothing them and whispering that  everything was normal. There was no one to see, nothing out of place.  The effort was already draining him, but he didn't need long. He kept to  the edges of the scene, walking with purpose and stepping behind  people. He, in the minds of the humans, belonged there and knew where he  was going. A quick glance at the destroyed cars told him that they were  empty. The van, then. The medical examiner had to have her, unless the  military had taken them.

Two sheet-covered bodies rested in the  back of the van. Rosa's corpse, half naked, was closer to the doors.  Nasedo's eyes stung as he saw her laying there. She hadn't deserved such  a fate. If he could get past the last group of humans, maybe she  wouldn't have to. Thankfully, they were already plenty distracted with  each other. The men in the uniforms were arguing with the medical  examiners, loudly.

"This is the army's jurisdiction," one yelled. "I demand--"

"If you can explain how this is your jurisdiction--"

Nasedo  turned them out as he slipped into the van. The doors faced away from  the scene. It would give him just enough cover to escape, if he was  careful. "I'm sorry," he whispered to Rosa as he wrapped her completely  in the white sheet. She was burned, but whole. There was a chance. "I'll  fix this, I promise."

Clutching her to him, he left the van and  slinked back to the desert. His head felt like it was being crushed in  from every side as he maintained the illusion over the humans, but he  had to for as long as he could. Once they realized the dead had gone  from three to two, he would only have a short time to hide. He got a  five minute start before he felt the mental connection break; he was  exhausted, and had to focus on returning to his stasis pod. If the  heavens were kind, it would be a few moments more before the humans knew  something was wrong.

Kindness, the heavens decided, was  something they could spare. Nasedo made it to the caves; he slipped the  silver bands off his wrists and coiled them around Rosa's own, gently  uncovering her corpse and lowering her into the stasis pod. The mist  inside glowed faintly. Damaged as it was, the pod was holding. It would  preserve Rosa, long enough for Max to grow older, become stronger, and  revive her. It was risky. It had only been done a handful of times in  their homeworld's history. Still, it was possible, and a possibility was  what Nasedo needed.

He sank down on his knees just outside the  cave, closing his eyes and using the last of his energy to manipulate  the matter around the cave entrance, sealing it shut so it would appear  to be solid stone. It would be just enough to throw off anyone who'd  come looking. And in the morning, he would... what, go hunt down Max and  Michael, and try to explain himself? Now that he thought about it, the  idea was terrible. Nasedo wasn't strong enough to defend himself if they  retaliated. He would have to rest, and try to recover what strength he  could. If he could. There was no way to know if the power he'd tapped  into either was finite, or if it would replenish with time, except to  wait.

Isobel. Nasedo turned his gaze towards the city  lights, longing seizing his heart. She was out there somewhere, gong  through who knew what, because of his foolishness. So many years erased,  and who knew what Max would tell her? What would Michael would say?  Would they blame her, or keep her safe? Michael. Nasedo tilted his head,  considering; Michael had a tendency to cause trouble, and that gave  Nasedo an idea. Pushing himself to his feet, Nasedo began to head  towards the city, listening carefully for any human activity. It was  quiet, beyond the sounds of the desert's nightlife, but that could  change in an instant if the humans somehow made a lucky guess on  direction.

The only police officer he found was a lone human,  snacking on a McMuffin on the outskirts of the city. Illogical, to be so  far outside the city, in the dark, without a partner. Nasedo slipped up  alongside the rolled-down, driver's side window, resting his hand on  the officer's shoulder. The officer froze, then went limp under Nasedo's  hand; it didn't take much effort to enter the man's mind. "Are you  alone?"

"Yeah."

"Perfect. Is there anyone waiting for you at home?"

"No, my wife left me."

"Condolences. Take me to your home. If anyone asks, you forgot your wallet."

The  officer frowned, but didn't resist. Nasedo fried the cameras of the  car-- child's play-- and climbed into the passenger seat. The drive was  silent, and gave Nasedo time to think. The military had known to come to  the crash, somehow. Hadn't there been rumors that Michael was hanging  around Alex Manes? A military brat, Nasedo recalled. Alex had never  registered as a threat, because he was gayer than two unicorns fucking  under a rainbow, and an anti-capitalist punk rock type. Maybe he'd been  wrong, Nasedo wondered.

Examine the facts, his training  reminded him. Rosa was dead, with imprints over her mouth and heart-- an  unfortunate side effect of certain powers, like a bruise of sorts.  Isobel's memory of Nasedo, in his panic, had been suppressed as much as  possible. The heirs had tried to make the deaths appear to be an  accident, but with the military presence, there was no way they'd pulled  it off. Rosa's corpse had been in the back of a van, the imprints  exposed; it was likely that the marks were photographed. If people saw  that and knew what it meant, they were all in danger. If Manes, senior,  suspected Michael and the heirs of being aliens-- if he'd followed them,  or spied on them somehow-- then Nasedo didn't have time to sit idly by.  He had to do something to draw Manes' attention away.

As tired  as he was, the night was far from over. He had to keep pushing through.  The second leg of the plan would mean leaving Roswell, and establishing a  human identity. If he was going to protect the heirs-- whether or not  they were aware of it-- he would need a human guise to shield himself.  And if he knew anything about the human world from the strange criminal  dramas that Isobel sometimes watched with Max, it was that forging an  identity wasn't that hard if one knew where to look. It was just a  matter of blending in, and finding a con to con. Simple. There were  enough greedy, immoral souls in the world.

Speaking of which... They had, apparently, arrived at the officer's home.

Parking  in the garage, the officer let Nasedo into the home. Nasedo led the man  to the bedroom closet, pointing. "Find me something you wouldn't miss."  He skittered into the kitchen while the officer pawed through the  clothes, using the sleeve of his uniform to avoid leaving fingerprints.  He grabbed a discarded plastic bag and tossed in a few things that would  be easy to gloss over. An apple, a few bottles of water. In the  bathroom, there were a couple bottles of nail polish remover under the  kitchen sink. Nasedo snagged those as well, before returning to the  bedroom. "Done?"

"Yeah."

A pair of shabby blue jeans, and a  button-up shirt that screamed 'mother-in-law gift'. A lightly used pair  of running sneakers rested on the floor. It was altogether a bit  tighter than Nasedo would have liked, since the man was twiggy, but it  was better than bustling around New Mexico resembling a wayward  cosplayer. "Alright." He grabbed the officer and dug into his pant  pocket, pulling out his wallet and tossing it on the nightstand. "You  won't remember me. It was a slow night, so you returned here because you  discovered you forgot your wallet. Remember that, yes? I was never  here."

The officer nodded, already looking distracted. "My wallet..."

Nasedo  glowered at the officer, vitriol welling up in his throat. Law  enforcement. They were so akin to their planet's military, filled with  violence and egoism. It was less about justice, and more about control.  Subjugation of people they saw as lesser was second nature to them. It  was tempting to break the man, but that would leave an even worse mess.  He had to be careful with this plan. He'd already done too much damage,  and couldn't afford more. Not in Roswell. Stuffing his old clothes into  another bag, he left the home and headed out into the night.

It was time for his new life to begin.

But first, he had to become bait.

[hakureiryuu]

SENSE8 SEASON 2 ALRIGHT ALRIGHT

i am growing just a tiiiiiiiny bit frustrated with the way kala and wolfgang keep flipflopping on their feelings about each other. i get annoyed when shows milk some “will they or won’t they” trope for all it’s worth, but so far it’s still well within my tolerance. and that’s largely because of the characters and the performances their actors give them.

i mean, they go back and forth not only to the audience, but to each other. wolfgang falls in love with kala but pushes her firmly away at the end of s1, then can’t keep himself from commenting “we’re perfect for each other” in the christmas special. he tells kala she deserves better than him, then scolds her for denying her feelings towards him. he fools around in every direction, ostensibly to distract himself (or to allow the writers to assert his masculinity idk), but gives no indication of how much he misses kala until he tells her. 

i’m not saying the tension isn’t there. i just felt like it could have been much more pronounced, for how loudly the fandom raves about it.

kala, meanwhile, flipflops much more openly, and i’ve come to understand it’s largely due to her upbringing. what she wants clashing with what she feels is right is a story that’s been told since the beginning of time. it may feel a bit tired here, but kala’s actress is phenomenal and plays every conflict across her face in perfect detail.

moreover, kala is, in essence, the “rebellious princess” in the middle of a (vastly showed down and picked apart) process of rejecting her life of ease and privilege in favor of something she views as more meaningful and fulfilling. leaving a place of comfort and walking into the unknown is a scary thing, and that’s probably why she married rajan in the first place, why she stayed with him despite every chance he gave her to back out. i understand it now, and it’s interesting to watch her distance herself from her privileged life in baby steps. 

not to mention it’s really fucking gratifying that the only reason all this flipflopping started was because they wouldn’t communicate with each other about their feelings in the first place. like, THAT i’ll buy. normally i hate miscommunication tropes but this one managed to nail it as something truly touching. i just wish it was brought up sooner, before they finally said it to each other.

also i was incredibly pleased that my wish from the christmas episode was fulfilled - kala was/is instrumental in will’s treatment and recovery, as she should be. ^_^

I AM UNREASONABLY EXCITED ABOUT DANIELLA’S RELATIONSHIP WITH LITO AND HERNANDO I MEAN I KNOW PEOPLE WILL FEEL LIKE IT “TAKES AWAY” FROM THE GAY REPRESENTATION SOMEHOW AND I KNOW SHE’S A BIT FETISHIZING OF THEM (dammit dani stop taking pictures of gay dudes haven’t you learned your lesson yet?) BUT I’M JUST SO THRILLED FOR THIS WEIRD MIXTURE OF POLYAMORY AND QUEERPLATONIC IT IS MY LIFEBLOOD AND I NEED MORE OF IT

they call each other family. oh my god.

i am almost as excited for a black bi/pansexual woman dating a man. zakia is gr8 okay? she needs more development but she is gr8. NO BI ERASURE TO BE SEEN HERE NOPE

(now if only they could lay off the ace erasure siiiiigh)

how come they couldn’t do e-death on will too? he has even less to lose by it than nomi does at this point. or was that just too big of a deus ex machina? sun would also benefit but her incarceration was way too public for it to be forgotten just by erasing the data, so that one i get at least.

the idea of nomi being indebted to fucking Anonymous is hilarious to me for some reason. can’t wait to see where that plot thread leads XD

riley continues to be my fucking role model. so cautious and clever and sure-footed. most of all, she’s healed. she wandered for years without a reason to live, a hurricane of depression and self-destruction. now that she’s a sensate, she has a purpose again. and yeah, there’s elements of “rescue romance” in there, but damn if i don’t have a weakness for that trope. plus she goes from being rescued right into doing the rescuing, so i think that redeems the trope by a lot.

i’m glad they went a tiny bit further into the repercussions of being nigh-constantly high on heroin for almost a year, though it wasn’t nearly enough imo. i mean this isn’t a show about drug addiction so i forgive them, but i still think will’s (almost) perfect recovery from all that bullshit was very, very contrived. 

how did will’s dad recognize him through riley? i’d be willing to buy some bullshit explanation of heightened global consciousness when approaching death, but they didn’t even mention it. i would have been sadder if will hadn’t been able to say anything at all, but now i’m just confused. 

i still don’t really like will’s dad. half the scenes of him being happy or laughing in that montage were of him laughing at will’s expense.

poor will though. he’s kind of having his entire life fall apart around him. i wonder if he’ll fall to pieces too, later down the line.

sometimes i forget that all these characters are meant to be the exact same age as me (28). it’s easy to because all the actors look something like late-thirties, and most of them had stable employment nice homes before all this happened. then will says something #relatable like “our generation doesn’t get to have nice things” and i go “oh yeah”.

so like i appreciate a lot that white savior narratives were brought up in capheus’s storyline but i give side-eye at the fact that capheus disagreed with this concept. however it was done quite well (and couched within the epic “who am i” god i love these overlays) because capheus more or less admitted he could be wrong in his opinion, AND that it was just his opinion. not to mention that zakia is portrayed as very intelligent and reasonable in her own right, and entitled to her feelings on the subject as well. i hope so much we see more speeches from her in the future, because i want to hear her thoughts on PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING.

i’m not sure how i feel about capheus running for elected office. it seems so... out of place? i mean i know his character has to go somewhere, but this seems an odd direction to move in. i mean some form of governor or congressman equivalent is one thing, but amondi said something about him being president? does that mean of the entire country?? 

(i have no idea how kenyan government is run.)

of course it does give an excellent platform for the inspiring speeches and amazing one-liners on which this show runs, so i’ll allow it and see where this whole thing goes. besides, even though the plot is strange, they’re at least playing it smart. capheus already had a lot of notoriety, and it didn’t take much more than his charm to go from notorious to inspiring.

but then he took an impromptu flight to paris right in the middle of his campaign so tHAT’S NOT GONNA LOOK WEIRD AT ALL.

side note: where did he get the money for the flight? i mean i know his bus business is booming and he and his mom live in a slightly bigger hovel now, but that doesn’t mean he has hundreds in savings to blow on a flight. he’s still delighted by a coffee-maker for goodness sake (my precious shining innocent happy child).

or it could be money from his party for his campaign. in which case EVEN MORE TOTALLY NOT SUSPICIOUS.

that superpower guy, whatever his name is? i goddamn love his accent okay? i could listen to him talk all day.

capheus finding out kala’s company was likely responsible for his mother’s poor health in s1 was both heartbreaking and very cathartic. rajan had zero self-awareness there; like he said, it’s just one of those things you don’t even think about until someone points out how disgusting it is.

as good a guy as he otherwise is, i’m a little suspicious of his apology. he’s been pretty dismissive toward kala in the workplace, and i’m wondering if he’s just paying lip service to her.

and then, of course, there’s ajay. i get the creeps whenever he walks in, and i know that’s intentional. THAT BOX TERRIFIED ME FOR LIKE 2 WHOLE EPISODES UNTIL IT WAS OPENED I LEGIT THOUGHT IT WAS A BOMB.

wolfgang’s gang-kingdom plot was... just as incomprehensible/uninteresting to me as it was during the christmas special? and even then i felt like it was a highly abridged version of what they were initially going for. that giant fight on new year’s led to nothing. wolfgang and felix hang out with a creepily generous dude who Expects Things in return for his generosity. wolfgang knows this but only rejects him outright when he is asked outright, keeping whatever “good faith” tokens that came his way like an idiot. and let’s be fair, i’d be the first to do that sort of thing - accept bribes to Do A Thing, only to Not Do The Thing and exploit the doubletalk that surrounds such interactions to deny accountability. BUT. NOT. WHEN. DEALING. WITH. MURDERERS.

 jesus wolfgang do you have a death wi- oh wait.

lila is... flat? as a character? she’s a sexpot and that’s kind of all. i’m a little disappointed that she’s so underdeveloped but maybe we’ll get more of her in the future. 

puck is vile and i hate him. i almost hate that he rescued sun but at least she got to break his toes. i mean does he GENUINELY BELIEVE half the shit he says or does he just enjoy making women uncomfortable? i’m not sure which is worse.

but when he said he’s personally connected to over 300 sensates that kind of blew my mind. that’s a hell of a lot of potential for our cluster, y’know? the possibilities are dazzling.

THE ARCHIPELAGO IS SO FUCKING COOL LIKE THAT ENTIRE VISUAL SEQUENCE WAS PHENOMENAL AS USUAL BUT ALSO THE CONCEPT IS JUST REALLY FUCKING GR8

there was a fat sensate woman sitting in a library among the archipelago and i felt represented. ^_^

i thought jonas’s death felt a little abrupt, a little unnecessary, even though it was masterfully done. turns out i was right, in the worst way: they broke him, and turned him. 

he was always a little shady but now he’s gone full dark side. what’s the cluster gonna do with him prisoner? who knows. i’m excited about it though!

wolfgang’s abduction is a magnificent jumping off point into much wider plots than the relatively narrow-focused ones we’ve seen thus far. however, i must point out that it felt sadly rushed. i mean, the same thing happened to riley and it took nearly two episodes to talk about, and only will was physically present for it. when it happened to wolfgang THE ENTIRE GANG jumped on a flight to help out and yet it took a mere third of an episode to pull off a much more complex plan from start to finish - “finish” being a loosely used term, since they haven’t even officially rescued the dude yet. i’m just saying it went by much too quickly to feel like more than a cliffhanger tacked on as an afterthought.

not to mention i wanted a lot more fanfare in the entire cluster physically coming together for a cause. it should have been an entire 12th episode imo, since season 2 only had 11? (i mean one of said eps was double-length so it’s the same runtime as s1 in terms of minutes, but still.) what did capheus say to his mother before he left? what did lito say to dani and hernando? THESE ARE SCENES THAT SHOULD HAVE TAKEN UP SCREENTIME, DAMMIT.

also how did will et al infiltrate the facility to surprise whispers in the first place? i need to understand the details of what the hell just went down.

AMANITA AND NOMI ARE GETTING MARRIEDDDDDDD

flawless execution. i had been wondering about amanita’s thoughts on all this nonsense and how she fit into it since nearly the beginning, and having it addressed all through s2 was very satisfying. 

tbh i kinda thought lito was gonna propose to hernando at sao paolo but realized after the fact that he just wasn’t, and still isn’t, in the proper headspace for that. he’s just barely coming to terms with being openly gay; that’s nowhere near ready to be openly gay married. he’s getting there though :)

a loose end that i thought would be wrapped up this season but it looks like we’re going to have to wait for: todd. he’s alive and in prison, and he is either a member of angelica’s cluster or one of her earlier children. either way he’s probably chock-full of plot-related information and the sensates need to grill him. since his objections to being a sensate appeared to be largely religiously motivated, i recommend kala for the job.

angelica zombified raoul and used him to burn down her cabin in order to hide her research from whispers while maintaining deniability. that is... so firmly gray with such a wildly disparate set of motivations that i’m a little astounded. it’s horrifying. it was necessary in her eyes. she did something “good” and “right” through some truly viciously evil means. she was ruthless enough to burn an innocent man to death but compassionate enough to comfort him and let him hear his father’s voice before he died, even as she was controlling his mind against his will. i can’t reconcile these things, and it’s AMAZING that the writers managed this kind of event. 

meeting sarah petrel’s family was fascinating, and i have to wonder how so many people “knew” her. will is obvious. whispers and angelica i can understand. but when did jonas or raoul meet her? is sarah actually way more significant than we thought? is she more than just will’s sad backstory? :O

tell me more about ruth el-sadawi.

tell me more about other clusters in hiding, and their system of organization.

tell me more about the mechanics of sensate abilities in general, specifically the process of giving birth.

tell me more about BPO’s early days, how it changed, who was responsible for those changes. tell me how whispers became part of it.

now that whispers knows who kala is, will he go after her family? how will this impact rajan’s investigation?

will sun need to protect detective mun until he recovers and can testify?

why did the woman riley met commit suicide shortly after their meeting? what part in her decision to kill herself did jonas play?

will kala’s blockers work as they should?

give me more of riley’s dad singing songs to make his daughter smile.

give me more of amanita being a huge book nerd and developing her newfound interest in parapsychology.

give me more of daniella confronting and gradually recovering from her abusive childhood. 

give me more of capheus’s mother being an art’s teacher!

give me more of sun’s prison friends! (i have a bit of a crush on soo-jin)

give me more of whispers being calmly, terrifyingly sadistic.

will we ever see yrsa again?

will we ever find out what happened to capheus’s baby sister?

all the tiny little continuity nods and references to season 1 made me giddy.

BRING SEASON 3 THE FUCK ON MY DUDES!!

[i-want-my-iwtv]

I've been trying to read the whole vc series, but school and work just keep preventing me from getting really far! Is it ok to ask you to write a little summary for each book so I can catch up with the fandom until I have the time to read them all thoroughly?

Yeah, I understand, time is limited :P 

I don’t know that summarizing VC will allow you to “catch up” with the fandom, you really only need to read the first 3 books and the Vampire Armand to get most of the jokes on tumblr, bc most of the jokes seem to center around:

Louis being a pyromaniac,

Lestat being an obnoxious but somehow lovable glittery murder machine,

Lestat and Louis being awesome and shitty murder dads,

Claudia being an ungrateful spoiled brat,

Armand being a little brat, or a slut, or an evul coven master, or all of the above,

Daniel Molloy just wanting to vampire plz!!!11!,

Marius being a pedo, or too bossy, or both,

Gabrielle is a bad mom and an ice queen,

Nicolas is spelled NICOLAS and he is NOT DEAD!,

Secondary characters not getting enough love from anyone!!

There are often spoilers in summaries tho, do you really want to be spoiled? I LOVE being spoiled.

We have these unreliable narrators, there is a lot of disagreement as to what canon really is, and some fans choose to ignore parts of (or entire books) in the series. We bring our own experiences to the reading, and we choose what to connect with, so I think we can agree on some things about each book, but you will probably get a different summary from any given reader. Even AR has told us to disregard the hybrid Mayfair/VC books (Blood Canticle, possibly Merrick and Blackwood Farm) when moving onto the more recent VC additions (PL and PLROA). So, for example, I have a friend who has only read the first 3 books. She doesn’t even know what happens after that bc she prefers to think it ended after QOTD. So any new vampires made after QOTD do not exist to her. #Your headcanon may vary.

Anyway, you want summaries.

http://vampirechronicles.wikia.com has a pretty good write-up for each of the books (they don’t have PL and PLROA currently, maybe they will eventually). It contains spoilers.

@vraik​ has thorough VC analysis in their series called The Consulting Analyst over on vraikaiser.com. Spoilers there, too.

@hyperbeeb‘s capsule reviews are pretty gr9 [X]:

Lestat’s Adventures with a Progressive Family

Lestat’s Bisexual Adventures in 18th Century France

Lestat’s Adventures with the Queen of the Vampires

Lestat’s Adventures as a Human

Lestat’s Adventures with Satan

Lestat’s Adventures in a Coma

Lestat’s Adventures with Polyamory 

Lestat’s Adventures in the Deep South

Lestat’s Adventures with Not Being There At All

Lestat’s Adventures with Witches and Other Weird Shit

Lestat’s adventures with Being the Vampire Head of State

Lestat’s Adventures with Literal Fucking Aliens

(Note, Pandora and Vittorio are technically stand-alone “New Tales of the Vampires” books, but Pandora would be No. 6 of the 13 book series).

You can check my #VC Synopsis tag, which has more capsule humorous summaries.

Gonna try to do a little summary for each VC under the cut as a personal challenge. 

Spoilers ahead! I’ll try to do this with as few spoilers as possible, as factually as possible.

1. Interview with the Vampire - Louis tells the story of his life and unlife to Daniel Molloy. Louis starts at the point in his mortal life just before he meets Lestat, and how his life up until that meeting influenced the unlife that followed after he became a vampire. Lestat’s reasons for choosing Louis are unclear to Louis, but he wants Louis to choose to be a vampire. Louis is under so much duress (failing health, still in emotional distress over his guilt re: a close family member’s death) that the choice is not 100% legit, Lestat can’t wait for a more opportune time and proceeds to turn Louis anyway. 

The whole story could be seen as Anne Rice’s exploration of the role of religion and the reasons why terrible things happen to innocent people, the concept of punishment. 

For me, it was also eye-opening bc I was 11 when I read it and it introduced the possibility of love between a same-sex couple, even if that was in more of a read-between-the-lines way. 

It also has a child vampire and I hadn’t seen any media even attempt to tell a story with a child vampire before. Few media that attempt it seem to have captured the beauty and tragedy of such a creature as in this story, and she reappears in a few of the other VC. Unreliable Narrator thing that continues throughout the series.

^ok that was too long, I’m going for shorter.

2. The Vampire Lestat - Lestat seeks to “correct the record” that Louis laid out in IWTV by giving us his own backstory, starting at his mortal youth and how that influenced the unlife that followed when he became a vampire, against his will (hence the “I’m going to give you the choice I never had,” line from movie!IWTV). There is more exploration in the role of religion and reasons why bad things happen to basically innocent people, and whether you really can make the best of a shitty situation or just give up. More about punishment. A very unique take on the origin of the vampires as a species is revealed. And the reasons why Lestat behaved the way he did (basically all secretive) in IWTV. Unreliable Narrator thing that continues throughout the series, who are we to believe? Lestat or Louis? And the author’s retconning which is perceived as “making excuses later in canon for behavior that’s already happened.” Some readers really despise this. Personally, I like having the options and trusting one version of events, or none of them.

3. The Queen of the Damned - Lestat’s modern-era rock career wakes the Queen of the Vampires and she has this awesome Radical Feminist idea for world peace. She’s already gotten started on it! She upgrades Lestat physically so that he can help her accomplish her goals, but he’s not really on board. They meet with the vampires she has allowed to survive her purge and it doesn’t go very well. Also in this book, we have different narrators, more about the vampire origin story, and the Armand/Daniel ship is sailing at its best here.

4. The Tale of the Body Thief - Having suffered so much through the past 3 books, Lestat is a suicidal hamburger-brained moron and makes some very bad choices. Despite everyone advising him NOT to, Lestat makes a terrible trade with a body thief and learns quickly that he had idealized being human. He does some horrendous stuff, and wants off the Being Human ride. He has one friend who helps him set things back to the way they should be, and then he betrays that friend in a spectacularly cruel way. More importantly, Lestat also gets a wonderful cuddly doggo. 

5. Memnoch the Devil - Lestat Goes to Heaven and Hell, meets Jesus Christ, meets God, meets Satan (who prefers to go by “Memnoch”) it’s all a huge interview process to decide if Lestat might work for God or Satan and it’s basically fanfic of the Bible. Some people hated it for those reasons. I found it really intriguing, bc it presents a reason why God created the earth, and why there’s suffering, why God allows suffering to go on, and where religion comes from. Like Lestat, Memnoch says he’s not the antagonist, but really the good guy in all this. When Dorothy gets back to Kansas Lestat returns to earth, there is disagreement about whether he went on a real trip or he was just fooled by a really talented spirit. Lestat is so confused that he throws a huge tantrum and then gets solitary confinement, then slips into a coma.

6. The Vampire Armand - Armand gets his spotlight and gets to really tell his story, do we believe everything he tells us? Lots of good Italy times stuff. Armand visits Lestat in his coma-state, and talks about that, too. 

7. Merrick - Merrick is a Mayfair witch in NOLA who bewitches Louis in pursuit of his request for closure with Claudia, and hilarity ensues. Louis gets the most screentime he’s had since IWTV, but the whole book is told from a 3rd wheel’s POV, it would have been so much better from Louis’ or Merrick’s POV. Major fatal thing happens but fortunately Lestat wakes up from his coma in time to save the day.

8. Blood and Gold - Marius tells his story, as does the vampire Thorne tell his own story. Marius talks about his artistic influences and his experience with the early Talamasca and Santino and the Children of Satan. We see Daniel (now living with Marius) under a kind of spell, which Marius says is temporary. 

9. Blackwood Farm - Lestat goes to the Deep South and hears the story of vampire Quinn (his story defies summary) and, with Merrick’s help, saves the day.

10. Blood Canticle - More vampire and Mayfair mixing. And Taltos. It’s a very big WTF book. But it has some very funny scenes and lines in it. It ends with Lestat promising the Dark Gift to someone. 

11. Prince Lestat - Vampire scientists. A clone. Someone gets kidnapped. Ultimate Vampire Coven Gathering. Lestat is cranky, saves the day anyway. Ghosts apparently can linger on earth after death and make bodies for themselves. Characters from past books reappear. New characters are introduced. Louis writes a chapter about how OK fine, he does love Lestat. FINE.

12. Prince Lestat and the Realms of Atlantis - I haven’t finished this but basically… the REAL vampire origin story, and it involves bird-like aliens, who were sent to earth bc the aliens feed on the suffering of mortals. The bird-like aliens didnt want to create Atlantis. in fact they were pissed because this one creature of theirs, Amel, made Atlantis with the Luracastria (i dunno i think thats how it’s spelled) and their viewing tech couldn’t see through the material. Amel made Atlantis to spite the bird-like aliens omg i cant believe im typing this. Louis and Lestat finally have some legit canon cuddletimes.

- Pandora - the story of the vampire Pandora, and why Marius is bad at relationships. Lots of good Roman times stuff.

- Vittorio - is not a VC vampire, and wants nothing to do with that dysfunctional pile of fanged crazies. @monstersinthecosmos and @vittoriathevampire could give you a better summary of that one, since I didn’t absorb it too well :P

[electronicdelusionstarlight]

Ok, but what about a Polyamory Love Square AU?

1) So, we’re in the future, our heroes are in their 20′s or something, and we have Ladynoir. They’re NOT really dating, given the fact they still don’t know each other’s identities and such, but still like each other. They go on platonic casual dates, they watch movies together, they kiss, they make out, the usual PG Rated stuff.

2) Still, they’re not REALLY dating per se. Despite everything, Ladybug really likes Chat, but she’s still hung up on Adrien, and Chat Noir is too scared to lose what he has now to push her into anything, and really, he doesn’t really mind having his Lady just like this.

2) Still, they’re not really DATING, and they can’t really do too much with each other given the fact the suits don’t really come off. Still, they’re together-ish. They’re happy.

3) That doesn’t mean of course that they aren’t HORNY AS FUCK.

4) So, it all comes crashing down at a party. Nino and Alya went there, and of course they dragged their respective best friends with them. As I said, Marinette is still a bit hung up on Adrien, and Adrien might have started developing the smallest of crushes on his classmate, especially considering how ripped she had become during the years (Yeah, Buff!Marinette Best Marinette).

5) Anyway, they end up there, and Alya and Nino ditch them right at the start (It might have been Alya’s devious plan all along, it might have been just her wanting to spend time with her boyfriend, who knows?), so Marinette and Adrien are left alone at the party. Thing are a bit awkward, so they decided to indulge into the greatest of social lubricants. Alchool.

6) So, they start getting tipsy, THIS SCENE HAPPENS, they kiss, they bang, and all that.

7) Ok, so, morning after. They’re at Marinette’s (She’s cohabiting with Alya, who’s currently at Nino), and it’s awkward as fuck. They get breakfast together, probably in a public place or something, and they talk about what happened last night.

8) Adrien, ever the gentleman, starts by apologizing with Marinette, telling her he is kind of seeing someone at the moment, and he’s really sorry for what happened last night and really now needs to talk to this mystery girl or something, and decided to be honest with Marinette because he knew how much she hates liars, and really he didn't want to hurt neither her or this mystery girl. 

9) Marinette is hurt still tho, because 1) She never pegged Adrien for a cheating type and 2) HOLY FUCK SHE TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT CHAT. Anyway, he apologizes, they sip their coffees in awkward silence, then he leaves.

10) It’s patrol night, so Chat and Ladybug meet near an historical Parisian landmark, probably above it or something. Marinette doesn’t want to hurt Chat, but Adrien’s talk about honesty and shit made her understand what she needed to do. So, as soon as Chat lands, before he can even say anything, she blurts out that she had slept with her crush last night.

11) Chat doesn’t connect the dots, because of course he doesn’t.

12) Anyway, Ladybug apologizes with him for hurting his feelings and all, to which Chat, who is heartbroken by the way, responds by “reassuring” his Lady that she doesn’t need to worry, because they weren’t REALLY dating, so she, and by extension him, could sleep around with anyone she liked. And perhaps is trying not to cry and the situation is kind of graving on him, so he might have laced his words with maybe just AN HINT of venom.

13) (As much as he’s aware of the hypocrisy he’s displaying for being bitter and jealous over his lady banging her crush while he had previously banged his friend and former classmate, but really, he’s the CRUSH thing that’s grating on his nerves)

14) Ladybug, unfortunately, doesn’t pick on Chat Noir’s displeasure, so she agrees with him. They were, and she hope still have, some kind of Open Relationship after all, which means they are allowed to have sex with other people, and it’s not like they could have sex anyway, so why should they fight over that, right?

15) Chat Noir grumbles (Or maybe hisses? what would a cat do?) and goes “Fine!”, before stating that since they are allowed to fuck anyone they please, he’s going to find someone to bang right this instant or something.

16) Ladybug might just feel the slightest pang of jealousy from this, but she really doesn’t have ground to talk. So she lets him go.

17) She returns home, descends on her balcony (Yeah even when living with ALya Marinette has a Balcony, because ICONIC), detrasforms, Tikki makes herself scarce, etc. She’s about to go to sleep when she hears a knock at her window, where she finds Chat Noir awkwardly standing there.

18) They talk, and she’s surprised he isn’t actually there to fuck with her. They start talking about how their respective crushes apparently have someone else in their life or something, you know, the usual Marichat stuff, only with Chat’s head on Marinette’s legs as she gently stroke his hair and cat ears because why the fuck not? They talk, they mope, they cheer each other up, etc.

19) Then for some reason the night ends with Chat eating Marinette out. (Not that he could do much else, considering the cat suit REALLY doesn’t come off, but still...) before kissing her brow, tucking her to bed and leaving, maybe a bit ashamed of himself.

20) After this, the situation is awkward as fuck. Adrinette are blushing messes when in front of one another, Ladynoir are each getting more jealous of the other which believe it or not ends up with our two heroes angrily making out on the rooftops of Paris, and Marichat have secret nightly rendezvous in Marinette’s flat when Alya isn’t there.

21) (Ok I’m trying to think of a way to fit Ladrien in here because quite frankly I really LOVE Ladrien but I can’t think of anything. Any clues? Maybe she saves him from an akuma attack, then goes to check how he is, and they kiss or something? Don’t know, really...)

22) Anyway, lets say that Ladrien happen too for completion sake. Adrinette meet each other alone at a game stop or something, start talking, get another coffee together, and start tentatively dating. They also bang.

23) By then, all the 4 sides of the Love Square are in an open relationship with each other. Which is pretty fucked up if you think about it and it’s the main reason why I wrote this AU Thing.

23) Aaaand... That’s it, really. Can't think of anything else.

[stress-bob]

HERE WE GO

Ok. Worked out, cleaned my room, paid credit card payment, paid rent, posted my probably-wont-make-progress-but-maybe progress picture, and smoked a bowl. My body is ready.

So I was talking about what happened around the time Dea and I broke up recently with a friend, and made me think that it’s been awhile since i’ve sorted through it. Figured why not put as much as I can remember down ~a year and a half later.

Buckle up buttercup,This gonna be looooooooong.

My order of things might be a little muddled, there was a lot going on at the same time.

So let’s back up to before we actually broke up!

For about a year prior I was getting real stressed out about my job. I was in a customer service position working for her Dad actually. He owned a Diesel shop, and had a Company owner in Italy who he was buddies with. Marco (italy guy), asked him to set up a place in the US to service his customer base.

I was going to college at the time, and decided I didn’t want to pass up a really interesting opportunity. I’m mostly glad I did. Anyway, I dropped out to work full time here and ended up making some good money. Most of what I did was answer phone calls and help people solve issues (99.9% of the time they caused) . At some point we started going to trade shows, and that was super super fun. I would fly out, set up a pop up tent and the whole shebang.

I was also sent to Mexico two different times for something similar. Except this one, it was with our distributor who was huge. They took their top 100 dealers on a “land cruise” (used to be an actual one, but they do resorts now), and about 25 manufacturers would pay ~20k to fund and attend this. During 3 of the 6 days, the 100 dealers would be set up at tables or 5. Basically think of speed dating. We’d each go around and give a 30 minute pitch about our product to these guys, answer questions, etc. I believe it was 4-5 hours each of the 3 days. You’d think an introvert like me would have a hard time with that, but it was actually a BLAST.

So what was the issue with the job?

Two big things. Dea’s dad (Rip), and a co worker of mine. I worked with a buddy of mine Adam, and he was fantastic. But we had this other co worker who was an old hick from Idaho (buddy of Rip’s) who was to handle our forum and some online stuff. For most of the time I worked with him it was fine. At some point he got really nasty. We had our own forum going on, and a buddy of his helped set it up for us. There were a lot of stupid things that happened surrounding that.

So eventually he’s outright hurling insults at me basically daily on the private side of this form (for a WHILE), and Rip wouldn’t do shit about it. On top of that, Rip had his own shitshow of a shop to run on top of it, and he’s old and tired. But he wouldn’t really give us the autonomy we needed so we could prioritize and get things done with what we had. We can’t be expected to try to learn fucking SEO while answering calls, updating the website, doing sales etc etc infinity fucking etc. Too much do be done with two people, and it was all expected to be done.

Eventually I was donezos, sent him a longwinded 2000 word email about exactly what I had problems with and why i was leaving (prob still have it).

So during the culmination of my work bullshit, that’s when Dea and I’s problems are starting to come to a crossroad. To be completely fair with myself, this was a long time coming. Tbh not sure exactly how long, but it probably should have been over before this went down.

We’ve always had communication problems. I think fundamentally we just don’t understand each-other well. Sure we both could have pointed out a lot of habits and what each would have done in certain situations, things we liked. But that’s not really the type of understanding i’m talking about.

The first time I realized something might happen is when she asked me about how I felt about polyamory. It’s something I had thought about before, because other women are definitely attractive. But with how long we’d been together, I knew it would bring up a lot of really jealous feelings that wouldn’t be pretty. So when she asked, I answered pretty matter-of-factly that it wasn’t going to work for me.

Looking back she was watching a lot of shows about poly life around this time, fun tidbit.

I wouldn’t say this answer upset her necessarily....but she was clearly idk, put off? Maybe disappointed.

IIRC she eventually asked again, and my answer remained the same. I think this was what spurred the discussion of “I don’t know if this what I want”. I did know what I wanted. She didn’t. What else can I do but wait until she does figure it out? I’m not that type of person that’s going to try and influence her. I could have tried to convince her she would be happy if she stayed or some bullshit. I loved her, and if not being with me is the way it needs to be? Them’s the breaks. I was also so SO tired emotionally. I had nothing left to give at that point.

So she breaks up with me. I think I left to walk to 7-11 at this point, because I needed a break. I don’t actually remember that well. I wasn’t around her right then, regardless. Maybe we were in our room when we broke up. Anyway Not that long after she breaks up with me(5 mins, half hour?), she’s crying and didn’t want to break up.

And of course I didn’t either. That lasted about a month, and she does it for real. Now here’s where the fun stuff started!

Sometime before or shortly after this I found out my Mom has an autoimmune disease that will kill her sooner or later. It’s very possible this is what her contributed to her mom dying when I was 8. So scary stuff yeah?

I quit my job, because FUCK that noise. It was too much.

I stayed living in the same house, but different room. Big mistake. I trusted her ability to communicate too much. Not that mine was stellar (we’ll get into this).

My parents divorce. Which hey, go be happy Mom! Again, sorry Dad, them’s the breaks. Happened to me to not even a month prior. But no, they both decided to be giant shitters. I think my Mom definitely did worse things to him, and to the family. He definitely said some nasty shit too though.

My mom decides to encourage my dad to go visit some family in Ohio (maybe he was thinking about it already? he reconnected with them recently at this point). By the time he comes back, she has a “friend” staying in the house. I feel like she said he was just staying for a while. Well my dad aint dumb, and this is the guy that has been in love with my mom forever, apparently.

She lied to the family a bunch, introduced my sisters kid to Frank even though she SPECIFICALLY told her not to. Her fucking kid’s grandparents split up. Shes like 7 for fucks sake. My sister was LIVID. Like didn’t let my mom see her granddaughter for many months livid. It’s hard to get that trust back. On top of lying to my sister plenty etc etc.  I don’t even want to get into frank right now.

I also had about 9 grand saved up at this point, and decided to not work for awhile and take care of my mental state. I literally could not work anymore after the breakup, and my parents bullshit. Another side note, but a root canal decided to cost me $1500 out of pocket a few months in. Probably like $2k total with the other stuff. Great timing, life. I think I was doing a “staycation” for like, 8 months? ish?

So here I was, jobless (had $$ tho tbf), freshly broken up with, super fucking depressed, stuck in the middle of my parents bullshit when i don’t even have enough for myself (and i’m a grown ass fucking adult too)[[, and just generally lost. Really really lost.

I just remembered. Something that made me pretty angry at the time (guess what leads to resentment?). Very shortly after we broke up, Jordan (the good friend he is), decides to try and set up a guys night for me at john’s house (jordan lived with karis at this point). Of course the bros say “hell yeah!” as they are wonderful. We invite Dex too, because why not?

The time rolls around, Jordan can’t go. Dex does show up at some point. Here’s what happened: Dea was really hurt because people were all getting together to make me feel better, i guess? I don’t remember the wording but....i think she felt like nobody was being her friend in that moment I guess? It was her home alone. And for context we got together every saturday for years pretty much, so I do kinda get it. She was also actually pretty mad at Dex because he showed up. She didn’t invite ANYBODY to do anything. So Jordan had to stay with Karis to comfort her, basically.

Like dude. YOU broke up with me. I get it was also really hard for you too, but put the shoe on the other foot for a goddamned second and consider how I felt in all this. Also consider I didn’t set any of this up. Also consider that you didn’t tell anybody that you needed a friend. I did. Don’t get mad at us for this, fuck.

Here’s where the “this-is-why-i-shoulda-moved-out” happens.

Let me say this up front. I expected Dea to bring back dates. This was definitely part of the deal of still living there. I get it. And I did figure she will be comfortable finding someone sooner, given the poly thing.

She brought someone over about 2 months after we broke up, and had mentioned nothing about this.

Now how this played out, was the night before she says “Hey i’m gonna have a friend over tomorrow”. I just say ok. Didn’t really matter because I didn’t have anywhere I could just go on moments notice like that. Coupla days to figure it out woulda been nice, thanks.

Turns out, it’s a dude that been over before. He was Taylors husband (they were poly before they split) who was at our holloween party like half a year before. To top it off, I got to hear the wonderful sounds of them having sex down the hall. Fucking thanks for that. Happened twice too.

You just shut down yeah? Or maybe that’s just me. How am I supposed to feel 2 months after breaking up a 9 year, third of my fucking life relationship, and within 2 months you’re banging a dude while i’m like 2 rooms over AND CAN HEAR YOU. And a dude that’s been over before for the cherry. FUCK man. I still get a little animated about that one.

Those were the big things. A great way to wrap up the whole burrito though? Dex and I were both given 1 months notice to leave from Rip. MY understanding of the local law was that 2 months is required if you’ve been month to month for more than 1 year (6 years...). He didn’t care, or knew I wouldn’t lawyer up. Whatever. The last and final fuck you was the day I went to get the rest of my shit. BEFORE the time on the notice, the locks were changed. Here I am, at 8 in the morning with a U haul we rented, and we can’t get in the house to get my stuff. What. The. Flying. Fuck.

I sure as shit wasn’t going to talk to Dea at ALL at this point, so I called him and he came down. And he sat there the entire time waiting for us and doing bills. Jesus fuck dude. Like, you think i’m gonna murder your daughter or something ffs?

I think I got most of it. I’ve got some stuff with my current living situation, but it’s really peanuts compared to everything else. I‘m also like, idk fairly happy right now too in general so. I’ve grown a lot, and that gives me some comfort.