#also i really like the design of his house

[thosewickedlovelies]

A guide to writing fics set in museums / with a museum worker character

Hey hi hello it’s your local museum worker here, offering you some insight and tips to writing museum-related fics! This is primarily organized as a list of different jobs you could have in a museum and what their duties entail. This post might also be useful to you if you’re considering working in museums and want to know What Goes On In There. Let’s go!

For simplicity/fic-writing purposes, I would divide museums into 2 very rough groups: large national or city museums that Have Money (think the Smithsonian or British Museums, or the Chicago Field Museum or the Royal Armouries Museum in Leeds); and smaller local museums. These could be local industry and culture/history-of-our town museums, historic houses, or  really niche subject museums run by One Person With A Passion.

Big national museums have a fuckton of staff and money (museums can never have enough money. But these places are very well-off compared to somewhere small that might always be hustling and writing grant applications). If you work here you’re likely to have a specific role in a particular department, and you probably won’t do much outside this role (ex., if you work in collections management, you probably won’t also design exhibits)

The smaller the museum, the more varied your workload will be/the more likely you are to be doing a little bit of everything. You’re probably organizing collections storage, manning the front desk, and desperately running fundraising efforts, all at once. 

To this end, smaller museums are more likely to be closed one or two days a week- you’ll be there, probably cleaning displays or managing storage, but visitors won’t be.

A lot of (most?) universities also have museums, so a college town setting is also doable. But the same big vs small museum disparity is still possible! At Penn State University, for example, the Palmer Art Museum is its own (recently redone iirc) building in the center of campus with a lovely plaza out front, while the Matson Museum of Anthropology is uhhhhh a couple classrooms in the Anthropology Department (which they’re currently rebuilding tbf, so we’ll see what they’ve done with it in 2025).

Types of Jobs

Curator

The one museum job that everyone can name. Nominally the person in charge. Probably laments that their job is way more admin than fun hands-on stuff now.

Actually this is the role I have the least knowledge of, but I think that’s partially because this job might vary the most from place to place? Structural organization can vary a lot between institutions, but I think the higher up you get in any field, the more your job tends to consist of meetings/overseeing, designating, and ~liaising~

A list of things a curator might do:

Planning or approving events and fundraisers, schmoozing with donors and members at said events, approving or designing a schedule of exhibits, publish outreach/advertising or research materials, oversee hiring, approve new object acquisitions (or de-acquisitions), generally make sure that the museum is working within the scope of its mission and if necessary, change or refine their mission

The curator might not necessarily control a museum’s funds; in this case they’ll liaise with the people who do, likely a Board of Executives or Board of Trustees. Once they get the money from these people, though, they could potentially redistribute it as they see fit.

 If you work in a fuckoff museum like the BM, you could also be the curator of a specific department, arranged by overarching subject, geographic area, time period, or even object type (eg Curator of Archaeobotany, Curator of Korean Collections, curator of coins from the medieval period). These categories can be more or less specific depending on what kind of holdings your museum has. I think these types of curators would still be able to do interesting things, as they aren’t the ones who Oversee The Whole Place.

You can also be an assistant or associate curator, like being an assistant manager.

Education/Engagement

These are the people who design fun extra activities (esp for kids) in the galleries or relevant events/workshops/lectures the public can attend. They might be called Engagement/Education Officer or Events Manager or anything similar

Again, the bigger the museum you work at, the more specific your role is likely to be. You might focus on web content/outreach and social media, manage the ‘friends/members of the museum’ program, or engage with shareholders, etc

Or you might do things like develop content and events to engage adult audiences. Workshops or lectures connected to new exhibits, after-hours visits. These people are also probably the ones with an eye on accessibility- you’ve probably seen advertisements for museums’ early or late hours for older visitors, or ‘quiet hours’ for people who might be overstimulated by normal museum hubbub, or tactile workshops designed for visually impaired folks.

I think most places would try to have someone specific for kids activities at the very least. They’ll be designing little activities or dress-up stations for the galleries, kiddie mascots or scavenger hunt trail kind of things, as well as, potentially, activities for any digital elements in the museum. They probably also coordinate school visits and act as a tour guide for classes, and will lead the kids in specific workshops or lessons in classrooms attached to the museum.

As a note on technology- some people would probably say that integrating digital elements into exhibits is the ~next big thing~, that museums have to get with the times in this regard, but opinions vary. Big science and technology museums are the most likely to have the most digital and techy elements in their exhibits, so if this is your setting, your character could also be a generic “tech person”. I would go so far as to say the smaller/more local the museum, the less technology you’re likely to have, but smaller museums are able to get grants, some of them potentially for specifically this type of thing, so it’s totally possibly that they have a few tablets with integrated activities, or some other Digital/Screen Thing.

Engagement Officers are probably the most likely people to be drafted for out-of-hours events, so that’s a potentially fun thing for your character to do. Some museums, particularly bigger ones, have event spaces attached that anybody can rent out, for weddings, galas, markets, etc, so they might also take care of these bookings as well.

Exhibit Design

This role has a lot of nebulous terms: exhibit coordinator, design constructor, exhibit programmer- but these are the people who design the exhibits. They’ll come up with a theme or narrative, a design scheme, choose the objects, write the text. They’ll probably come up with some marketing material as well, that matches the design scheme, or they’ll liaise with the marketing people who will.

These people might not be as familiar with the collections as the collections management folk (below), depending on how strictly divided your roles are, so they’ll likely consult with the collections people on choosing objects for a particular exhibit or theme (they say that good exhibit design builds an exhibit from the objects up, but I digress).

These people will also direct and participate in the install and deinstall (the actual terms) of exhibits- putting the objects on the right plinths/stands and arranging everything just so in the cases. Genuinely there’s a lot of psychology behind exhibit design- colors, lighting, the way you might design an exhibit to be navigated vs the path people will actually take through the gallery, people’s sight lines and where their eyes go first, how the display of any given object affects people’s perception of the importance of that object. Fascinating stuff, many books on the subject. 

There are also a lot of accessibility concerns to be considered here- how bright is the gallery, how large is your display text, at what height is the central eyeline of your cases?

Museums often loan objects to and from each other’s collections, so if you’re building an exhibit and you’d really like to include X type of object but your museum doesn’t have any, you can borrow some from another museum (this isn’t necessarily a guarantee- museums are allowed to say no to these requests, but I think manners would dictate that they should have a good reason)

Museums sometimes tour whole exhibitions as well- the objects, the text placards, maybe even the stands for super special or fragile items- and exhibit coordinator people are the ones who would handle those arrangements.

Potentially good opportunities for angst stories here- wow things come to life at your museum, you fall in love with a statue but oh no it’s only at your museum for three months

Collections Care

People who work in Collections Management have the most direct contact with the museum objects themselves. You probably work here if you prefer objects to people. When a museum gets new material, these are the people involved. They might not always initiate acquisitions, and the final approval is probably down to the relevant curator, but 98% of the time they’d be consulted (I hope).

A mind-boggling statistic is that most museums only have like 10% of their collections on display at any given time. Yeah. Forreal lol. But collections folk will know where the other 90% is and what’s in it (particularly the longer they’ve been there). 

There’s usually a head Collections Manager. Other workers might be a Collection Assistant/Associate, Collections Officer (we like calling people Officers for some reason), Registrar, or some variant of these depending on the specific flavor of your duties. 

Main job duties can be divided amongst documentation and database work, organization and storage of objects, and lite conservation. Just how much/how technical the conservation work depends on your own training, but also on the size/funding of your museum. The more money, the more likely your museum is to have its own lab with people specifically trained as conservators. More on them later. 

Here’s what happens when a museum gets new stuff!:

Ideally, it goes to a ‘quarantine zone’ first. This is a separate space or room where the objects can relax for a few weeks to a few months (ultimate best practice is actually a year, but, you know. that’s a long time) to ensure that they’re not harboring anything icky (bugs, mold, etc) that will infect the rest of the collections. It’s ideally super-sealed and climate-controlled, but the primary feature should be that it’s away from the main collections store.

Collections folk do the paperwork. They’ll give each individual object a unique number (following their preexisting system that will allow it to be identified distinct from all the other objects in the collection). They’ll create a ‘collections record’ for the object- documentation containing any and all information about the object. This includes the accession paperwork (everything that says ‘we legally own this now’); provenance info (all previous owners and everywhere else the object has been in its life); measurements and description (in painful detail); and conservation history and concerns (ie ‘there’s a crack in the side so pick up with care’, ‘this was repaired in the 70s so that glue is gonna fall apart any day now’).

(I'll say as a fic writer that this would be an great time to wax poetic over a beautiful statue or painting; you can’t write “This golden crown deserved to be worn by a great king, or maybe by that broody Roman general in the painting in Gallery B” in the collections paperwork, but you can think it.)

For fiction’s sake, your collections records could be either paper or digital, but in an ideal world a museum would have both setups, for security’s sake. So you’d fill out some long forms and/or input all the information to the digital collections management system (‘the CMS’, or referred to by your specific software’s name, as there are many out there). The CMS is not a static archive, but rather a living register that’s updated every time an object is interacted with. The object records also include where an object is at any given time (‘normally in Case E in the Fancypants Gallery, currently in Conservation Lab A for repairs’).

Once the objects are done in quarantine, they’ll go to storage. If they’re being displayed immediately, they’ll probably go to some interim storage space/shelf with other objects for the same exhibit and in that case only get a temporary setting. Every object will get labeled with their object number (directly on them, with a special pen that’s safe for this. Or if it’s really tiny, like a coin or jewelry, then their own tiny box will get the label). Small or fragile items, or items grouped together, will go in their own boxes (made of acid- and lignin-free cardboard or polyethylene plastic, like Rubbermaid totes; lined with polyethylene foam and then acid-free tissue paper). Stable ceramic vessels might sit directly on lined shelving, particularly if they’re very large or heavy, like many stone objects.

Listen, every type of object has a particular way(s) of storing that’s best for them, you’re gonna have to look that up yourself or consult someone if you need that level of detail

Ideally, before being stored away, objects are also photographed. This could be part of the Collection Officer’s duty, and/or your museum could have a photographer on staff. (say it with me:) This is more likely if your museum is really huge and/or has a backlog of unphotographed collections and has hired someone specifically, even if temporarily, to improve its collections documentation.

I would say a collections person, or anyone with a museum studies degree, should have some minimum amount of conservation knowledge that includes basic storage standards for different object materials, how to spot potential preservation problems (like if your bronze axe head is actively oxidizing or if that green spot looks the same as it always has since starting and pausing decaying), and maybe how to give objects a basic clean or deal with certain types of problems. But the nitty-gritty science is more the realm of Conservators, someone with a degree that ends in -Sci or who’s done some other certification course.

The general collections store should always be dark, slightly too cool for prolonged human comfort, and labeled to high heaven. Objects will most likely be grouped by material- ceramics/pottery, metals, precious metals and stones (jewelry or beads), stone, glass, wood, bone/ivory/other organic material like feathers or teeth or anything that can be decorative, textiles, paintings. A museum often has some paper material/documents, usually part of or related to a group of objects they acquired, but generally paper and photographic material is the realm of archives and archivists. Yet again, the bigger/more well-funded the museum, the more likely it to have a separate archive department, so your character could also work as an archivist in a museum.

Another thing the collections care folk probably do is ship objects. Remember how I said that  museums loan objects and exhibitions to each other? The stuff’s gotta travel somehow! If things are being shipped internationally, they’ll go in big wooden crates, with specifically dimensioned partitions inside. Then it will be lined with our favorite foam and tissue paper, cut so the objects sit snugly inside. I haven’t personally worked anywhere with a possibility of local shipments, so I can’t say where the threshold might be as to when a museum would just pay an employee to drive the objects over vs ship them with a shipping company. But the preparations would be similar, minus the big wooden crate but with extra-careful packing (and paperwork and insurance etc)

Conservation

Conservators are the people who work in labs with fancy equipment. Not every museum will have a formal conservator or a lab of any kind; sometimes the collections care person fills this role, or if something urgently needs care beyond the abilities of the museum’s equipment, they might send it away to a lab elsewhere, the same way you can send your old VHS home videos to a professional archive to be digitized.

If an object is actively deteriorating in a way that could harm itself or other objects (as opposed to like, at risk of fading bc the lighting is wrong, which is a straightforward fix related to the environment), that’s when a conservator would intervene.

Some methods/machinery by which you can analyze objects:

Ultraviolet (UV) and infrared (IR) light - Different materials absorb and react to light differently, which you can use to identify them. Useful for seeing things like the different layers of paintings

Stereo-microscopy (microscopes, of varying strengths)

At magnifications of x5-x100 you can see things like tool marks from an object’s manufacture, traces from wear, deposits, and coatings

At x50-x500, with a thin sliver of a sample, you can see (and hopefully identify) fibers, layers, particles, metallographic structures 

You can get information from objects without taking samples, but samples are usually worth the information. 

energy dispersive x-ray fluorescence spectrometry (EDXRF) - EDXRF allows you to identify the elemental composition of the surface layer of an object. So it might tell you what a tool is made of, and also the composition of the objects it was used on, if they left traces

scanning electron microscopy (SEM) - an SEM uses a focused beam of electrons to produce a magnified, high-resolution image of the surface of an object

X-radiography, both film and digital - X-rayy are beneficial for objects that might be covered by dirt or corrosion and can show you details of an object’s construction or hidden structural weaknesses

I’m not a conservator, so if you want more hard science-based info, ask one of them lol

Listen to me. If you take nothing else away from this post, let it be this:

 Once an object is in a museum, it is never seeing natural daylight again. Sunlight is the ultimate enemy of every object’s lifespan. If you need to see an object in the sun or moon light for ~magical spell reasons~, you will straight up be stealing that object to smuggle it outside.

Okay. That being said, you do hear (and could probably google) stories about museum employees stealing things from their museums on purpose to prove a point about security or insurance to their higher-ups, so like. Depending on your type of museum, it might not be impossible to steal from lmao. (Don’t tell anyone I said that.)

Possibly the most useful advice for you to keep in mind when writing your conservator or collections care characters would be that touching objects hurts them. It might not hurt them now, it might not even hurt them in ten years, but every time you handle an object, there’s a risk that you’ll damage it. Not on purpose, obviously, but to err is human. The simplest, most effective advice my conservation professor ever gave us was “don’t handle an object if you don’t have to.” That means don’t move an object without a plan and a place to put it, first examination should always be visual, not tactile, etc. Unfortunately, that means that your character cannot walk around lovingly handling and caressing their favorite objects (unless this is a Night at the Museum situation where the objects are caressing them back, ykwim)

Museum Technician

These people probably have a lot of different names, but basically, technicians are the background muscle of the museum. They do the technical construction of bigger pieces of exhibition material, up to and including the exhibition cases themselves. 

So they wouldn’t deal with the small mount that the object rests on, but they might build the big plinth that the mount sits on. They’ll help move things around the building, particularly big heavy things, hang big framed works, assist with exhibit installs, and generally do most things which might involve power tools/equipment or heavy lifting

I worked in a big museum that hired a third party company to supply their technicians; I interviewed at another place that hired their own. If you’re a small museum, you might just have a freelance person that comes in once or twice a week to help move things.

Other

Other miscellaneous roles one could have in a museum: researcher (for exhibits and/or collections), gift shop or cafe worker, security guard, room attendant, translator, archaeologist, consultant

Honestly, TL;DR? Just have your character be a consultant of some kind. ��Oh no, I don’t work here, I’m Y’s friend. They called me in to provide some expertise on X subject that they’re doing an exhibit on.” This could work for literally any subject- history/archaeology/anthropology, art, transportation, science and technology, anything you might find pictures of in an archive, idk. This could get you into an office or meeting room of some kind in the ‘employee only’ space of the museum, or potentially all the way into the collections store if you’re giving them information they were missing about some objects. Otherwise you’d probably (hopefully) need a key or some other kind of security clearance to get into the collections store.

Whew, that was a ride, huh? I hope this guide was useful to someone! I’m always open to answering questions if you think I forgot something or if anyone wants more details <3

[anomaly-076]

If the tkdb ghouls were the whb devils, who do you think would be who?

If Tkdb boys were WHB demons

‎‧₊˚✿Masterlist✿˚₊‧

♦ Ooh a fun concept! ^^ *rolls up sleeves*

  ⋆���˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

Jin

Jin is an absolute Belphegor with the whole 'leave me alone I'm sleeping thing'

Plus he has his trusty servant to take care of everything

Tohma

For the same reason I'm gonna say Tohma is pretty much Beleth

A trusty servant taking on the responsibilities of leading the kingdom/house

Lucas

Okay, not a devil, but I'm gonna say Minhyeok

Our trusty childhood friend who's all prim and proper

And him and Ppyong are amazing besties just like Lucas and Kaito

Kaito

To simply put it: Kaito is an idiot

Kinda like Ppyong, who mostly says stuff that make you wonder if there's a single braincell happening (doesn't matter, he's my son either way)

They both also see themselves at a prince in a shining armor

  ⋆˚✿˖°

Alan

Rarely talks, doesn't really show much emotions...

That sounds like Zagan to me!

Another thing they have in common is their interest in working out

Leo

*sigh* this might be controversial, but I don't hate Leo

Otherwise I'd hate to assign him one of my favorites: Paimon

They're both these cheery and cutesy social media fiends

To be fair: Paimon is a bit controversial too

In a way that there was a bit of drama bc regarding people's HCs (one person was hypocritical about them not adhering to canon)

Sho

Bike boy Sho gets a bike boy Amy

They're both pretty chill despite coming off as a meanie at first

  ⋆˚✿˖°

Haku

Our ever-so-cheery Haku can be no other than babyboy Gamigin

They're both so energetic and adorable ^^

Towa

This is more based on my personal HC, but Morax strikes me as the type to be able to talk to plants/animals and to attract them

Both our boys are on the quiet side and morax is definitely the romantic type too

Ren

In the original design, Gusion was made out to be a gamer in a onesie and so I HC that it was his "teenage" phase he hasn't grown out of and only chooses to dress more mature

They both would absolutely love to have a movie/gaming marathon with MC

  ⋆˚✿˖°

Taiga

Ah, guns ablazing

Stolas has a bit of a short fuse and likes to fire two of his thompsons

I kinda wanna see these two on a shooting range now

Romeo

With Romeo's obsession with meeting deadline money goals, Bimet is the absolute perfect equivalent

We even had an event where some of his money went missing and he threw such a bad temper tantrum

Ritsu

This one is kinda hard...

I don't think there is a demon that would be similar to Ritsu..

Oh, but we do have Bael who is constantly doing paperwork instead of Beelzebub, who's always gone

And Bael is constantly sending all the other nobles out to chase him down

Just like Ritsu constantly bothers Taiga and Romeo with his lawyer roleplay

  ⋆˚✿˖°

Subaru

Subaru as the pretty boy he is gets another pretty boy, Foras

According his idiosyncrasy, Foras is the prettiest demon in Hell so much so even his king, Leviathan, gets jealous

Haku

Personality vise I don't think we have a demon to match Haku, but the spiritual vibe he has reminds me of Buer

Buer gives me the vibe of some temple priest/spiritual healer

Zenji

Zenji is another one who's kinda hard to find a demon for

There isn't really an artist/writer type of demon

So maybe... Astaroth?

Astaroth finds pleasure in corrupting people with his words, just like Zejni wants to spread his poems and songs

  ⋆˚✿˖°

Edward

Old man

Just like Lucifer

I can imagine them sitting in Lucifer's greenhouse and relaxing together

Rui

Another one I wanna say Astaroth about?

Rui is a flirt, just like Astaroth

Plus the whole bar thing matches the corruption thing really well

I once even wrote Astaroth as someone you don't want to watch over the alcohol on a party

Lyca

This one is kinda obvious: Naberius

Since he can turn into Cerberus while angry and they're both precious

  ⋆˚✿˖°

Yuri

Yuri gives strong Agares vibes withe way he thinks everything revolves around him

They're both full of themselves and have a faithful sidekick

Jiro

Gentle giant ♥

Okay, Marbas isn't as gentle (if even), but they're both precious big medic boys

I can even imagine Marbas waving a chainsaw around

If he wan't for the safety of everyone tied up

[thecicadagraveyard]

More House MD furry doodles,, I'm actually obsessed with them like I REALLY wanna make more of these (they're also helping me practice expressions again) but I especially want to design the rest of the characters! I have ideas for Cuddy, Cameron, Chase, Foreman, and Taub, but I still have to come up with what I wanna do for Thirteen, Kutner, Amber, etc, etc. Anyway!

This one I wanted to do bc I wanted to do some angsty art and also I thought it'd be a good way to explore some anger in his expression. I also just love the last ep despite how painful it is lol

For this one I REALLY wanted to see if I could get that patented Wilson kicked-puppy-dog-stare and I think I did that pretty well here actually ngl.

Anyway! Those are my fun little doodles for the day, I will probably be making a few more as I go because I've been really loving doing these! I rlly wanna see what I can do here :)

Again pls be nice I'm mostly experimenting with these tyvm!! ♡

[lilianade-comics]

Some additional thoughts + a detailed summary of the Aragon kidnapping incident, because I have this AU on the brain:

As an extension of the basic core vampire power system being blood based and hinging on consistent blood consumption, there is an antiquated "blood magic" system that is essentially high level, "learned" vampirism by which they can use blood to perform feats outside of the usual stuff. A lot of the rituals and incantations practiced by ancient vampires were lost over generations of slayings and book burnings. Vlad devoted years to studying this mostly lost art and has a few tricks in his arsenal that really spice up the lives of the people he doesn't like (Jack and Maddie). Glamours and full blown shapeshifting are both possible using blood magic.

The majority of active vampires in the world aren't any older than two or three hundred years old and most are relatively young, because the ones that are older are either sleeping or were slain during a near cataclysmic purge that happened a couple centuries ago. Vlad hasn't even cracked a hundred yet, but he is close.

Lots of people ask me about the nature of Vlad and Spectra's relationship in Stolen Sanguine, so here's a detailed explanation. When Vlad fled Jack and Maddie with baby Danielle, he eventually settled down far away and started over from scratch, because Jack and Maddie took the house and everything else in the "divorce" (they burned his castle down.) The village he chose as his territory neighbors Spectra's, and since she is easily the most social vampire around, she was quick to welcome check out Vlad. Upon learning his situation Spectra offered to share her resources and connections with him in exchange for his blood, among other things. Vlad is every bit the egotist, so under normal circumstances he would have shot her down because she's so clearly beneath his station. But these aren't normal circumstances. He's functionally broke and new in town and also has a baby to think of, so he reluctantly agrees to Spectra's deal for Dani's sake because he doesn't have the time to toil over business. But as time passes and Vlad becomes more self sufficient he never breaks his alliance with Spectra, because he recognizes that she's into him to a toxic degree and that makes her useful to him. Spectra is legitimately fond of Vlad because he's a complete mess and she finds mentally unwell men deliciously entertaining.

Maddie's dresses usually don't cover her neck on purpose. She likes to lure her prey closer. Jack is almost constantly wearing a cravat because "those gluttonous parasites aren't taking a bite out of THIS jugular." He hasn't really realized that the cravat never seems to dissuade vampires. If anything, Jack + the stupid cravat makes his neck a bigger target.

A more detailed summary of the Aragon incident and its surrounding context is as follows:

Count Aragon and his sister Dorathea are said to have consumed dragon blood at some point in the past, which has given them dragon abilities that surpass the average vampire. Aragon, as in canon, is dominant over Dora, who does his bidding. He's a bully who rules with an iron fist, and he's very well established in society both human and vampire and very high up the food chain.

Aragon's fondest hobby is stealing thralls from other vampires. He likes to assert power over his neighbors by taking their favorite toys, knowing that none of them are gutsy enough to cause a fuss over it. And if they are, he'll just crush them, or throw a bribe their way to shut them up. His favorite activity is holding "wedding feasts" in which he plays the role of the groom, and the unfortunate human the role of bride, or main course in this sense. He'll invite his peers to participate and turn the entire thing into a pretentious spectacle designed to remind everyone who's in charge. He effectively owns his own part of the world this way. There isn't a single vampire that likes Aragon at all, but a mere stolen thrall isn't worth the risk of dealing with him, even if that thrall was a favorite. Most of the vampires in the area are silently waiting for the day he finally pisses off the wrong person...

As it happens, it's been some time since Aragon's last wedding feast and he's starting to have cravings. As he looks through his list of potential options, he remembers that about four years ago, a newcomer moved into the area, and rumour has it he brought an unusual thrall with him. A very young child. Well, Aragon thinks, it's a tragedy I haven't welcomed them yet.

Danielle is playing under a tree a stone's throw from the manor. It's about ten o'clock in the morning when a blonde, cloak wearing woman approaches her with a kind smile. Little Danielle notices she has red eyes and sharp teeth, and while those traits would frighten any other child, they put her at ease. In just a few minutes, Dora is able to convince a trusting Dani to follow her-and the child does so eagerly, not noticing Dora's own reluctance.

Vlad glances out the window and when he doesn't see Dani a twinge of concern leads him to throw on a cloak and step out to look for her. Concern quickly spirals into panic. She isn't anywhere. She's gone like she never existed at all. She's not on the manor grounds, not in the village, not inside any structure in his territory. He tears the manor itself apart but no luck. Finally, he turns up on his neighbor's doorstep around noon, and Spectra is not even the least bit ruffled by Vlad's absolute calamitous meltdown, mostly because it woke her up from a very deep and restful slumber ("Good grief, dearie. It's midday. Some of us are still nocturnal, you know").

Vlad refrains from removing her head from her neck and explains the situation, to which Spectra reminds him that pets do have a tendency to run away sometimes, and no, Dani didn't somehow travel to her Auntie Spectra's house. This is not what Vlad wanted to hear. Fortunately for both of them, their healthy and respectful conversation is interrupted by the sudden appearance of a letter, one with a deep purple envelope and a wax dragon seal.

Spectra, of course, knows immediately the content of the letter and the identity of the sender, for she's been a guest at Aragon's wedding feasts before. She's not one to experience dread. Quite the contrary. Dread, especially dread belonging to others usually delights her. But that sudden invitation plus Vlad's missing pet could only mean that Count Aragon of blood-dragon fame has chosen a new bride, which certainly would upset her amusing dynamic with her neighbor. She opens the invitation while illuminating Vlad on her suspicions.

Vlad, being extremely calm and unbothered, has to be blocked from leaving while Spectra attempts to make him see reason. You cannot simply rush off to Aragon's castle and demand your human back, she explains, to which Vlad grasps her by the neck, leaning down to speak into her face, and calmly replies that as a matter of fact, he can and he will. Spectra says no, because he will lose his powers breaking in there and Aragon is too strong for most vampires even when they aren't powerless. If Vlad genuinely wants Danielle back, he'd be a fool to be so hasty. It would be much more advantageous for Vlad to attend the feast that night with Spectra as her chosen plus one, when he could enter with permission. Vlad is still furious, but he doesn't move for a moment, considering. Finally he snarls that he simply cannot wait all day to rescue her, not when she could be bitten at any moment leading up to the feast. But Spectra shakes her head because Aragon loves his traditions and rituals, and she knows Danielle would remain whole and safe from harm up until the moment she's presented to him in the banquet hall. So with great frustration, Vlad backs down and elects to wait for night to fall.

Vlad was aware of Aragon's existence before the repulsive reptile stole his daughter, but crucially, the days when Vlad would have happily made himself a problem in Aragon's circle unprompted were behind him. He was trying to live a quiet domestic life. He was trying not to look like a threat to the big fish in the pond. He wanted only to be left alone with Danielle and his little insignificant village in the middle of nowhere, safe from prying eyes or harming hands. Oh well, Vlad thinks with a grim little smirk, as he rifles through his medicine cabinet searching for a very specific item. There's nothing for it but the demonstrative approach.

They arrive at Aragon's castle at the scheduled time, make it past the servant checking invitations, and enter without trouble. Spectra leaves Vlad to his business and flits away to mingle with her peers. Privately, she's not sure what to expect from him tonight. She hopes he was serious about murdering Aragon over his silly obsession with his pet. That would easily be the most entertaining thing to ever happen at one of these tedious assemblies....if he can pull off such a feat, that is.

Aragon is seated at the head of the banquet hall's long table, and Vlad wastes no time stalking over to him. Aragon is momentarily surprised by Vlad's appearance and then quickly dismissive when he learns that he slipped in with one of the other guests. He hadn't meant for the victim of his intended slight to attend the feast, but it mattered little in the grand scheme of things. He brushes off Vlad's frosty-yet-playful opening lines and tells him he's busy and any reconciling of goods and property will have to wait until after the party. Vlad responds to this by wrenching Aragon's throne around to face him, and says that he's going to give him one very generous and undeserved chance to return Danielle immediately. I don't wait for sniveling little wyrms.

Aragon predictably laughs, genuinely amused and awed by his gall. He asks why Vlad cares so much. After all, Vlad can hardly claim she's his since it's obvious he must have kidnapped her from somewhere in the first place. Now she's simply in the clutches of a stronger figure. Then again, the child is barely more than a mouthful. Perhaps Vlad was waiting until she grew up?

Vlad shoves down the urge to kill him for another moment, because a point must be made. He's not very old, but he is very old fashioned, he tells Aragon. In fact, he's positively medieval in so many ways, a trait he's sure Aragon in particular can appreciate. It's considered polite, crucial even, to ask a bride's father if he approves of the marriage before the bride is spirited away, isn't it?

Aragon finally rises from his seat without any urgency. He starts to move away, and flippantly says Vlad can ask the girl's father himself, for all he cares. It won't affect the child's fate one iota. Now kindly find a seat and stay out of the way, or you can listen to the feast from the comfort of the moat.

Vlad snatches him by his collar, throws him onto the table, and comes very close to nailing him to it with one vicious thrust of a wooden stake--but Aragon is a serpent, and his reflexes make the average vampire's look dull. He rolls away and is on his feet again in a blink. He's genuinely startled, but chalks up this unprecedented attack to Vlad being new and ignorant. They have an audience of stunned vampires, fallen silent at the display. Dorathea watches from the sidelines, wide eyed, but she makes no attempt to intervene. Aragon and Vlad think the same thought at the same time: Excellent. I'll make an example out of this moron that will be talked about for centuries.

Aragon is very confident. His powers have transcended blood after he fed from a dragon, and he's stronger, faster, can breathe fire, and his skin is harder to puncture. There's no way Vlad can beat him in a physical altercation, he thinks. Vlad is just as confident, and also extremely pissed off. Aragon might be of draconic blood, but Vlad is smarter, better prepared, and more than anything, he's here for Danielle. Aragon could be a real dragon for all the difference it would make. He's going to kill everyone and everything that dares to harm her. And it just so happens he had on hand the exact thing he needs to beat Aragon.

Blood magic is largely a lost art. Some spells remain known and common, such as glamours, but a lot of the ancient, powerful, and unorthodox ones were forgotten or destroyed centuries ago. Dragon's Bane, similarly, is an exceedingly rare fireproof plant said to be one of the only materials that can kill the winged beasts. The odds of anyone being uniquely skilled in forgotten vampiric magic and in possession of Dragon's Bane is extremely low. But Vlad prides himself on being an odds-defying nightmare, and so he doesn't bother to get out of the way when Aragon launches a fireball right at him. When the flames clear, he's just fine--granted, his clothes are bit singed, but it worked; and Aragon looks uncertain for the first time.

Dragon's Bane is very good for the skin, Vlad says conversationally, though in truth he'd actually injected the stuff directly into his bloodstream before arriving. He's burning blood while functionally high on magic anti-dragon juice. Hope Aragon doesn't mind.

Aragon does mind, but there's nothing he can do about it but try to kill Vlad before Vlad kills him. If he's quick about it, maybe he can overwhelm him. A fight ensues. Spectra observes the tables being knocked over with a hidden grin as she sips her blood-wine and remarks to the vampires around her, "He's my plus one."

At some point, Aragon appeals to his sister for help because things aren't looking too good for him. Dora seems torn; but after years of being kicked and berated by her brother she hesitates to come to his aid. Then there's the matter of the little girl, and while Dora is no saint, she dislikes being made to lure her brother's brides to their destruction. So her eyes harden and she turns her face away, and Aragon gets no help from his sister in the end.

Vlad stabs him more times than anyone was able to count. It was a bit excessive, and most witnesses got the feeling after a certain point the violence was purely for show. When Vlad drops the remains of a splintered stake on the ground and finally directs a half-mad look in Dorathea's direction she's quick to retrieve Danielle from a side room. She's been made to sleep, but otherwise is totally unharmed. Truthfully, Dora has no idea what Vlad will do to her, or if he even knows she's the one who kidnapped Dani. But after she places the child in his arms it's obvious he couldn't care less about her. You're a sensible woman, he remarks snidely, and that's that.

It's customary in the rare event of a vampire murdering another vampire to formally claim the kill in front of witnesses, thereby assuming the right to take the victim's property and land. Vlad pointedly doesn't do this. A mere five years previously he would have in a heartbeat, but he didn't kill Aragon for his possessions, and he's perfectly satisfied with the reputation of a lunatic if it means everyone is too afraid of him to even glance in Dani's direction. Dora assumes the position of Countess after her brother's death and she and Vlad haven't spoken since.

Dani....now knows not to talk to strangers. Not long after this incident, Vlad gifts her a pendant that contains a tiny sliver of his soul, so if she's ever taken from him again, he'll be able to act with far more efficiency.

Stolen Sanguine World-Building Dump

@taptrial2 asked and ye shall receive. What follows is a mass information pit for my Vlad Cleavage AU Danny Phantom vampire AU, Stolen Sanguine. This post will just be about world-building, the storyline will be covered separately.

The time period and culture influences are deliberately vague, but it's pseudo-Victorian, pseudo-fantasy, pseudo-pre Industrial Rev with no consistent clothing styles beyond the vampires being obnoxiously slutty.

Vampires live among humans and the ones that live the longest and thrive the most are the rich and powerful, highly immoral ones. Common people who are turned and not willing to become gluttonous murderers are usually swiftly dispatched by hunters. Being turned involves intent on the part of the vampire, and venom is the agent. New vampires are not common or accidental (unless you're Danny) because in general vampires like the status quo and creating more competition for territory isn't in anyone's best interest. Vampire on vampire murders aren't common for the same reasons. Vlad, however, is an insane little freak and has killed his own kind before. To drastically paraphrase one notable instance is Aragon, who once decided he'd pick on the new guy in town by kidnapping his four year old and turning her into his vampire bride. Vlad stabbed Aragon about three dozen times, recovered Dani safe and sound, and no one has bothered them since.

Society is entering an era where the general populace at large is becoming more collectively aware of the existence of vampires and other paranormal folk and it's more difficult to work in the shadows than it used to be. Hunters are becoming more mainstream, and while vampires have always placed emphasis on securing wealth and power, it's now more critical to have those societal protections in place.

Generally speaking, vampires are almost exclusively loners and not social with each other. This is mostly because every vampire believes that other vampires are insufferable, and they are the singular delightful exception. Penelope Spectra, Vlad's neighbor and ally, is an outlier, as she is very social for a vampire and often holds parties. She herself lives with Bertrand, whom she turned some years ago.

The vampiric power system revolves around blood. By consuming human blood, vampires regularly renew their immortality and their enhanced strength and healing. Vampiric blood itself is also endowed with certain powers, as it remains tied to the soul of the vampire even after it leaves their body. There's a culture of blood jewelry given as gifts to favorite thralls as a mark of ownership.

To say vampires merely consume blood is to ignore the whole reality. It's not just the blood, it's what the blood contains, that is, the vitality or life of the individual. Every time a vampire feeds off of someone they consume a bit of that person's life and soul. It's an active parasitic relationship that brings only misery to the consumed. Animal blood will keep a vampire alive, but it won't grant them the powers they rely on and it won't fully satisfy their hunger. Danny is doing his best, but he's basically starving himself.

A human that a vampire frequently feeds on turns into a thrall. Thralls are sickly, clingy and basically brainwashed into being willing juice boxes. You don't want to become one. Some vampires will keep them in their houses because it's very convenient. Vlad has his blood supply imported, because he's got a daughter to think of.

Vampiric weaknesses include sunlight, which burns them, and the need to be invited into dwellings or suffer the loss of their powers. There are ways to circumvent both weaknesses, however, and Vlad has found ways around both during his years of experimentation. The only way to kill a vampire is to destroy their heart, so the classic wooden stake is the weapon of choice for hunters. Jack and Maddie are particularly creative with their weaponry, though.

The GIW exist here, as a sort of white-tunic wearing anti-vampire cult/organization. Their designs are pending further thought, because white robes and hoods have some unfortunate connotations I'd prefer to avoid.

Werewolves and dragons exist here, but they're mostly mentioned in passing and also because I think it would be amusing if Danielle tried to date a werewolf prince while Vlad makes semi-serious plans to turn the poor boy into a rug if the relationship goes awry.

There is a Vampire King, but he's been sealed away in eternal slumber because he's more trouble than he's worth. Vampires will go through long periods of sleep every so often if things are going poorly for them, and it usually involves a coffin and a hidden crypt. They are of course, nocturnal beings, but they don't have to sleep as much as humans and Vlad is committed to raising Danielle diurnally. This causes some problems for him, but he's extremely stubborn and refuses to let the sun get between him and his daughter.

Other vampires consider Vlad to be completely out of his mind after the unfortunate Aragon incident. It's not normal to adopt your lunch. Spectra thinks Vlad's obvious mental illness is very attractive and she likes watching him kill people.

Vlad lived in a proper spooky castle before acquiring Danielle, but after he fled Jack and Maddie he moved extremely far away and settled into a smaller but no less creepy manor outside of a small rural village. Danielle is by no means forbidden from visiting the village and Vlad encourages the townsfolk to allow their children to befriend/suck up to her on a regular basis. Sometimes this involves blatant extortion, such as the time Vlad forcibly invited (kidnapped) a select handful of children and their trembling mothers to attend Danielle's birthday party.

Vlad likes to gaslight the people living in the village outside of his manor. They're all 95% sure he's a vampire, because he certainly couldn't look or act any more like one, but Vlad vehemently denies it. Danielle is accustomed to doing the same, and in reality she is actually the most compelling evidence that Vlad ISN'T a vampire. Because what vampire has a happy, healthy, bite-wound free child in their care?

[ksksksrahrah]

[royaltea000]

Been binging the 1986 series again and drew my ver in some of his slays

[vidavalor]

Hi @masnadies & friends! I don't really have a literal map, just an idea of where I think things are from what we've seen in S1 & S2. I love @mochacoffee's map & think that it makes sense that a ton of the space in the upstairs rotunda is shelves of books-- particularly, the bit visible from the main part of the shop downstairs-- but also that there are rooms up there, as we saw in S2. Aziraphale designed the shop as a space for him and Crowley so I think there's actually a lot of intentionality behind it. I've had some thoughts on this for awhile so I hope you all don't mind me sharing them here.

Some ideas on what rooms might exist and where they might be in the shop, how the threshold/invites work based on what we've seen, and what new room in the shop I would bet is going to be in The Finale. Also, what the story purpose in making the shop mysterious enough that we're having these conversations might be.

Design-wise, I think that the whole interior of the bookshop is built to look to any angels that might enter the front door like it's nothing but a bookshop that is a cover for the angelic embassy. Aziraphale only has the embassy so he can have the bookshop, which is really a cover for having as close to a house as Aziraphale had been able to manage while being a working angel. The way they are using the bookshop as a metaphor for Aziraphale (and for Crowley and Aziraphale) and its design tells us a lot about Aziraphale and his relationship with Crowley. What we have been allowed to glimpse of the bookshop-- and when, and in what order-- is very much intentional and part of both the design of the story and pf Aziraphale's design of the shop, imho.

In S1, the show uses the bookshop metaphor for Aziraphale by focusing more on Crowley's relationship with the bookshop than on Aziraphale's relationship with it. Each episode gives us more and more information regarding what level of access Crowley has to the shop that is symbolically Aziraphale as a way of slowly showing the audience the depth of the intimacy of his and Aziraphale's relationship.

In 1.01, we see Crowley feel safe for the first time in the episode when he and Aziraphale are in the bookshop. We see him on his couch, their familiar setup and being able to speak freely and have some privacy in the shop. Crowley's glasses come off for the first time in the minisode. It's the setting of the bookshop that helps to establish how close they are from the jump of the story. Each subsequent episode, though, begins to unfold that even more.

When the shop goes on fire, we find the doors will open for Crowley-- basically, that he has a key to Aziraphale's place. When Crowley goes back to the shop in Aziraphale's body during the body swap, we see him able to identify which books in the shop weren't there before Adam adjusted reality-- telling us that he spends so much time in the bookshop that he knows every detail of it. When he meets Aziraphale in the park afterwards, he tells Aziraphale that the bookshop is just as it was, with not a single smudge and everything in the same places that they always were.

While we just saw Crowley on the ground floor of the bookshop, this comment-- delivered while he's literally in Aziraphale's body, for fun symbolism-- is saying that Crowley has unfettered access to the entire bookshop and knows the whole place so well that he knows everything in it, everywhere, by heart, and could tell if anything was amiss in the shop. He knows his way around every room in the bookshop and has permission to go into any of them that he wants because they're basically his, too.

So... Crowley, while in the midst of the sexual metaphor that is the body swap, is seen telling Aziraphale that he went through their entire house and everything is fine, and this is not a conclusion that Crowley could have drawn without having gone into Aziraphale's bedroom-- and without being familiar enough with it to be able to tell if anything is amiss. This is the end of the steady progression of information about Crowley and the bookshop throughout S1 and it comes when they're in each other's bodies, ahead of the romantic Ritz finale.

In S2, we start to see a little more of the shop but what of it we see is reflective of the conflicts happening in the story, as it would be, right? First, we find out what's behind the door of the room behind Aziraphale's desk that remained closed in S1 and it's a subtle but potent reveal-- it's a room being used like a massive storage closet.

It's Aziraphale's actual backroom, not the office to which he brought Gabriel and Sandalphon in S1, which is built to be a place to which he can bring a visiting angel. This backroom is painted the color of Crowley's eyes and is a hodgepodge of random things that are being stored back here without a shred of the structure of the rest of the shop. While Aziraphale's bookshop is cluttered in a good way, that isn't what's happening in the backroom we see in S2. There's an open privacy screen in the corner that seems to be blocking off nothing. There's furniture and books just kind of pushed into the room-- random lamps. A chair just kinda stuck in there near the door. It's a storage unit, basically, and not a room that is in use, and it looks like it's holding things in limbo for a future that may or may not happen. It's stuff that belongs to he and Crowley that neither want to give away but that neither have room for in their lives at the moment. It's a total holding pattern of a room and Muriel bursting into it is literally the (literal) closet door being broken down by the supernatural cops, right?

In S1, the bookshop itself is essentially their closet but, as the supernatural characters like Gabriel and Muriel keep pushing further into the shop in S2, even as Crowley and Aziraphale wind up stopping hiding their relationship in S2, in the first half of it, we have this closet room representing them trying to try to find a space to talk openly in their own house during the chaotic week they're having.

Then, we see use of the home bar space in 1941 a bit, and this one is really interesting. While we saw this space in the present in S1 while Aziraphale was trying to figure out how to tell Gabriel about the antichrist kid mix up, now we see Crowley and Aziraphale using it and see that this table that Aziraphale keeps clutter on during the open hours is basically the dining room of the bookshop. It's positioned so that it's not in direct view from the front door of the bookshop-- just like how Crowley's couch is tucked away from immediate view of the door by the bookshelves.

If you look at the front of the shop-- everything between the front door and the cash register counter-- it actually does look like a little bookshop in its own right. The display tables and shelves and stacks of books along the wall. These are probably the books that Aziraphale can part with, if he absolutely must lol, and is really the only part of the shop that is truly the bookshop. Pretty much this bit below and the bookshelves where Crowley pulled the Jane Austen book that is on our right out of sight below:

Because the bookshop is metaphorically Aziraphale, I'm of the opinion that, technically, basically anyone can theoretically get through the front door. Humans are obviously kept away by locks and closed signs and restricted to business hours (whatever Aziraphale feels those are at any given moment lol.) The supernatural characters, though... The threshold, as Shax discovered in S2, is not actually the front door. Likely symbolic of how Aziraphale will give anyone a chance. The threshold is proven in both seasons to be the cash register counter-- the point at which what is meant to look entirely like a bookshop is really becoming Aziraphale's house, whether it seems that way to others or not. But, still, it means everyone can theoretically get into the entryway, right?

So, how do Crowley and Aziraphale have any privacy if the supernatural beings can all get through the front door?

Because they have found a way to exploit the angels and demons' dislikes of one another to get it.

Technically, the bookshop is an angelic space and an angel could demand entry to it and there's nothing Aziraphale could do but allow them to go wherever they wanted. This is the one weak spot because, while the demons won't want to deal with an angelic space and will just stay away, the angels are a different matter. Even if they cannot get past the cash register area without an invite, they need to believe like they have control over the space in order for Aziraphale to be able to keep it. So, why do the angels frequently turn up at the door asking to be let in, even if the vibes are very much that they feel it's sort of dumb that they have to ask and Aziraphale knows he has to say yes? Why don't they just go through the door?

Aziraphale out-psyched them, basically.

He told Heaven the truth-- the threshold to the shop is not the door but the cash register counter-- but he also told them that they were all going to make sure that the demons in Hell thinks the threshold is the front door. He told them that this is how they'll keep the embassy secure because, it being an embassy, they might have to allow a demon in during the daylight for spiritual counseling towards the light (the excuse for Crowley being seen sometimes entering the shop during business hours) but they can't just let a demon have unfettered access to a heavenly space-- that would be unseemly!

So, that's Aziraphale's argument for the threshold in the first place-- he needs control over the embassy space in order to protect it for Heaven and not just let these demons wander around in it unchecked. But he's made it so that Heaven thinks they're getting one over on Hell by making them think they're all in on the joke but that, for security purposes, they need to keep up the charade. They've all been told that they're supposed to go to the door for an invitation so that, if any demons are watching the place, they won't get suspicious that the door isn't really the threshold.

Crowley is keeping this going with the demons in S2, as well, when he leads Shax to think that the threshold is the door before she figures out he's lying during the bookshop attack. He also lies about his ability to invite people in, implying that only Aziraphale can, which we see later is untrue. Technically, anyone that Aziraphale has invited in can invite in other people behind them, which is how Maggie ended up inviting in all of the demons during the bookshop attack, and also why Crowley reminds Gabriel not to let anyone in when he rushes out of the shop after Shax while Aziraphale is in Edinburgh.

So, Aziraphale basically told Heaven that they all would know the truth, of course, that the threshold was the cash register but that they all wouldn't want the demons to find that out, right? That wouldn't be a very secure embassy. They need the demons to think that it's the same rules for everyone. Aziraphale's gotten them all to play along by making them go to the door and ask to be invited in, even though they could, technically, get in the front door and up to the cash register without an invitation. He's basically found a way to make them all ring the doorbell by exploiting their own prejudices against the demons.

This is shot now because, when Crowley and Aziraphale backed all the humans up into the living room, behind the cash wrap, Shax figured out that the door wasn't the threshold and tested her theory on poor Mr. Brown of Brown's World of Carpets, basically proving what we saw back in S1 when Gabriel and Sandalphon showed up.

They arrived when the shop was open and Aziraphale was busy inside with basically the only time in the series he has ever had customers lol and so there was no reason for Gabriel and Sandalphon to need to be invited in at the door because the shop was in normal business hours and it was Gabriel who was there. The rules of the other angels and demons wouldn't be seen as applying to him-- but they both did need an invitation to go any further than the cash wrap. Aziraphale brought them into his back office, which is a room he was willing to sacrifice to visiting angels as a way of seeming totally transparent and keeping them from wanting to search through the rest of the shop.

But, anyway, I think this is why the shop is built the way it is-- it's a house that is designed to pass as a bookshop so it can pass as an embassy-passing-as-a-bookshop, so that it can exist. Aziraphale has never really wanted to run a bookshop; he just wanted his books and a safer, home-like place he and Crowley could be together in. It's a bookshop just because Aziraphale has so many books and that made it the best cover for the fact that it's not really much of a shop at all-- just the front part of it is and Aziraphale has to fight to keep anyone from trying to buy any of the books that are in the other 95% of the shop, all of which are really his and/or Crowley's.

It's set up so that if the angels ever are just inside the front door before the cash wrap--or if they go only into the backroom where Aziraphale brings Gabriel and Sandalphon in S1-- that they're basically just seeing what looks like a bookshop. If they look up into the second-floor rotunda from near the door or most places on the ground floor, they just see a second floor of shelves of books that they can presume that Aziraphale is selling to the humans. It's not until we go up there with the characters in S2 that we see rooms exist up there... tucked out of sight from below. The further we press into the shop and the more we go around corners, the more we see that its design is intentionally attempting to hide what the real purpose of the bookshop is.

Aziraphale and Crowley cannot trust that there won't be some night when, idk, Sandalphon or Michael or somebody decides to just suddenly appear in the front part of the shop instead of knocking at the door. If they did, they wouldn't be able to physically go any further than the cash register counter-- but they could see into the shop from there. That seems factored into Aziraphale's design of the shop.

Aziraphale built it so that if he and Crowley were having dinner or wine at the table in the bar area like they were in 1941, Part 2 or if they were cuddled up on Crowley's couch, that they're around corners or otherwise obstructed from view enough that it gives them the opportunity to not get immediately caught should an angel blow past the established norms of entry and show up in the front part of the bookshop. The table in the home bar and Crowley's couch are both positioned so that a person cannot directly see them from the front door of the shop, which would buy them both time should someone show up in the shop. The place is built to make it so that no one can get past the cash register counter threshold and, even if they get past the door and into that space without Crowley or Aziraphale realizing it, they likely won't catch Crowley in the shop, no matter what time of day they show up.

So, the main floor bookshop space is visible to everyone but rooms that are more personal or that are hiding something from Heaven just by existing are buried a bit further into the shop or behind a door that has been right there the whole time but that the show is taking longer to open.

It wasn't until S2 that we saw into the private room in the back-- the closet, as the two of them were kind of trying to come out of it when it came to their relationship. It's also not until then that we get to go upstairs and, when we do, see that the spots that you cannot see directly from the door below have rooms. This is Aziraphale's private residence and even this? Is mostly set up to be able to deflect, should Heaven ever get up here. Have a real look at Gabriel's completely bizarre room here:

This is the unused bedroom of the bookshop, really-- not Aziraphale's actual one. It looks like a messy monk lives in here. One the size of a hobbit, apparently, because that bed could not get any smaller. This room exists basically in case Sandalphon ever shows up and demands a tour. Here's Aziraphale's room that he can claim he never really uses and just has for pretense or in case there's an emergency and someone needs to lie down. Nothing to see here, Stasi-a-Fond, just my tiny, dollhouse bed that I absolutely cannot fit in on my own, let alone with that six feet of legs demon! Jim's bedroom is as much of a closet as the back room downstairs is.

So, what lives down the little hallway on the ground floor, back out of sight? And, even better, what is the room at the top of the stairs to the left of Gabriel's bedroom? We were shown this door but it remained closed for all of S2. It is to S2 what the closed back room that we saw in S2 was to S1-- this door we saw a few times and then went into in the next bit of story.

Given its location in the shop-- conveniently at the top of the stairs and beside another bedroom-- it's likely that this is Aziraphale's bedroom. Unlike many, I think that Aziraphale does sleep. (I'm pretty sure Gabriel is wearing Aziraphale's pajamas in that "Jim's Mug" scene in S2.) Regardless of his sleep habits, though, he has other uses for a bedroom and I don't think it's collecting dust.

There are also some spaces in the vicinity of Jim's room that I think could be a bathroom, which Aziraphale could claim is necessary for customers, as you all have said above. Do his customers need the likely nice shower and that probable clawfoot tub? 😂 Not exactly, but Aziraphale likely would say fuck it and figure he'll come up with something if Heaven finds out. He can tell Michael he's baptizing people up there or something. I think that the lure of bath time with The Serpent is likely too strong to pass up.

We know there's a kitchen in there that Aziraphale was using for the literal portion of his baking in during Lockdown, which I think is probably what's located if you keep going past the private room and the home bar into that unseen space. See from where Aziraphale emerges in the bit below?

Nina, Maggie & Gabriel follow him into the room afterwards and they all seem to be coming from some place down the little corridor that leads further back into the shop. I'm pretty sure that's where the kitchen is. I think that's also the direction from which Aziraphale came when he brought Muriel tea in S2 as well. I'm sure it's very warm and cozy but I have a sneaking suspicion that it'd be a room we'd find surprising in its organization. It would be one of the rooms in the house that makes it pretty clear that Crowley spends a lot of time in the shop. I wouldn't be surprised if there are some-- gasp!-- plants in there-- potted culinary herbs, probably. He likes to cook for them sometimes.

I don't think it'd be super-necessary to show the kitchen but I actually think there's a chance we still might see it in The Finale largely because of the fact that I think we're going to flash back to the aftermath of Aziraphale blowing up his halo and briefly see some of what went down between then and the next morning-- namely, the convo with The Metatron that Aziraphale says the next morning took place, and the aftermath of that. If we go back to that night, we could see Aziraphale, Gabriel, Nina & Maggie talking in the kitchen. They also might cut that bit of it for the film but, either way, that's the area where it seems to me like the kitchen might be-- hidden pretty deep in the back of the shop, suggested to us but completely out of sight of Heaven.

If we consider that the bookshop is being rolled out to us slowly and in an intentionally incomplete way so far in support of a story that is doing the same... and if we then ask what big rooms remain that we haven't yet seen? There's really only the kitchen and Aziraphale's bedroom.

So, what haven't we seen in the bookshop yet ahead of The Finale?

The kitchen and Aziraphale's bedroom... food and sex. 😉 Not really terribly dissimilar things to these two...

It's been there all along but, as the story hits its end game, I think they'll likely reveal it a little more directly and, if they keep going with the way they've been using the bookshop to tell the story so far, they're going to use going into the previously unseen bedroom in the bookshop to do it. The one, new room we're getting for sure in The Finale is Aziraphale's bedroom-- likely circa 1941. It'll be clear that while it's the first time we're seeing it, it's a space with which Crowley is already plenty familiar.

Then, off to their South Downs Cottage where they can finally just have their own damn house without all of these shenanigans.

Speaking of the bookshop, theories on what could be upstairs?

ooooo the BIG QUESTION.

so we can see a bit of the second floor in all these pics:

basically all we know for sure is there are A LOT MORE BOOKS, both stacked around the railing and on the circle of shelves. neil has decided not to comment on what else might be there (YET 👀) but he’s confirmed that much.

apart from that, we can see from the outside that there are six windows on the second floor:

i’m going to assume they’re part of the shop because they’re Very On Fire when the rest of the shop is on fire. SO. taking all that into account, you end up with something like this:

where the thin grey circle is the railing and the brown one is the bookshelves (as you can see in the first pic, it doesn’t circle all the way around!)

the rest is a complete mystery. i mean i’m sure the actual set was empty because they didn’t need to fill it, but in theory there’s room for some interesting stuff! with the first floor for scale i can imagine a whole flat built around that circle of shelves — a bed aziraphale never sleeps in, comfy chairs, every other angel knick-knack he’s encountered in his life. in my personal headcanon it’s all books and hoarded items covered in dust, which he leaves for authenticity.

thank you for asking!! i’d love to hear other people’s thoughts if they want to share :)

[crusheswhimsandfancies]

Charlie’s outfits in the podcast 1/?

The Gang Runs For Office

Charlie Goes America All Over Everyone’s Asses (pic 2 & 3 bc he took his jacket off)

Dennis And Dee Get a New Dad

The Guys Take Some Calls

The Gang Finds A Dumpster Baby

The Gang Gets Invincible part 1 & 2 (pic 7 & 8)

Everyone Browns Out (extra pic bc guitar!!!)

[carpisuns]

he makes amity throw up in her mouth a little every day

Riley’s OG wolflow on twitter here >:)

[bacchuschucklefuck]

oh fuck I got class swap fabian I think. I kiiinda know what I want him to look like now

[allatariel]

House Fast-Tracks Bill That Would Give Trump Power to Target Nonprofits

The legislation would let the Treasury Department revoke tax-exempt status for any “terrorist-supporting organization”

BY PETER WADE

NOVEMBER 10 [2024] AT 8:44 AM

Donald Trump hasn't even taken office, and Congress is already moving to advance legislation to expand his ability to target his enemies. The former president has repeatedly threatened on the campaign trail that he will attack "the enemy from within" using the military. But new legislation could give him unprecedented authority to go after nonprofit organizations he disagrees with.

The House is set to vote this week on a bill that would grant the Treasury Department authority to revoke tax-exempt status from any nonprofit it declares to be a "terrorist-supporting organization," giving the agency broad latitude to determine what that means.

The legislation, the Stop Terror-Financing and Tax Penalties on American Hostages Act (H.R. 9495), was originally drafted to prevent the IRS from issuing fines and tax penalties to Americans held hostage by international terrorist groups as well as citizens unjustly incarcerated abroad. By putting these two measures together under one bill, Republicans are trying to make it more difficult to oppose.

"They attached it to a super popular bill that everyone likes because they want to make it hard for people to vote 'no,'" Kia Hamadanchy, senior policy counsel at the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), told The Intercept. "The reality is that if they really wanted the hostage thing to become law, they'd pass that by itself."

Hamadanchy said that this bill is "about stifling dissent and to chill advocacy, because people are going to avoid certain things and take certain positions in order to avoid this designation."

The bill would allow the Treasury secretary to notify targeted nonprofits that their tax-exempt status is at risk, giving the organization 90 days to appeal before losing its 501(c)(3) status.

The vague language in the bill could be used against nonprofits that support Palestinian rights, reproductive rights, and environmental protections.

"The danger is much broader than just groups that work on foreign policy," Ryan Costello, policy director at the National Iranian American Council Action, told The Intercept. "It could target major liberal funders who support Palestinian solidarity and peace groups who engage in protest. But it could also theoretically be used to target pro-choice groups, and I could see it being used against environmental groups."

If the House passes it, the resolution would go to the Senate, which voted in support of an earlier version that did not include the provision on nonprofits. If the House hadn't made changes to the legislation, then only a majority vote in the House would be required to send the bill to the president's desk to be signed into law. But now, because of the changes and because Republicans are trying to fast-track its passage, the resolution will require a two-thirds supermajority in the Senate before it can head to the White House, where Biden could veto it.

Call your reps and tell them to vote NO on HR 9495 so they aren't labeled as "terrorist organizations" by bigots in power

[snakesinsocks2005]

Pre scooped mike refs wooooo

[fangomango]

They're in love (you don't know the lore like I do (I also don't know the lore))

[crimsonrebel]

Byleth is a cutie ngl (❁´◡`❁)

[natequarter]

#i havent read krikkitmen but lungbarrow was what i thought of when reading this post #like all the stuff with the massive furniture and the size of the house? like im not doubting the 80s special effects at all but that seems #like the sort f thing that would have been expensive & very difficult to film #as well as not having the nuance of character's thoughts you can fit in a novel #lots of the edas are like this as well #like bodysnatchers they spend quite a while on a ship thats kind of. fleshy. that then dies on them. they couldnt put that on tv #or even books hwere major character are aliens of quite different physionomy (is that the word?) where either building a costume or cgi-ing #one in would be impractical to impossible or not look that good #side not also : scherzo couldnt work well in anything But audio #like a novel would work but its an entirely different & much more visceral (ha) in just audio form

yeah, makes me think of some of the author's notes in lungbarrow:

I doubt the scene later on where the Doctor "surfs" on a runaway table could ever have been realised properly in studio, but that was the start of the House's character evolution. And the book allowed me to give full range to that. There are certainly elements of Beauty And The Beast here - not just the Disney version, but the ravishing Cocteau film before it.

[...]

The original TV storyline was a three-parter set exclusively inside the House of Lungbarrow, just as Ghost Light never ventured outside Gabriel Chase. It was a Seventh Doctor and Ace story, so none of the other companions in the book - Leela, Romana or the K9s - appeared. Chris Cwej is in the book by proxy as the Doctor's current companion, and a lot of his story was originally designated to Ace. The parts of the story set at the Capitol are only in the novel - the expanded book version was an excuse for plenty of political intrigue and conspiracy theory (at the time, we were all in the depths of X-Files mania.)

[...]

Innocet's fate in the original TV storyline was quite different. She was crushed whilst saving the Doctor's life, when the room in which he was trapped was ground to dust by the enraged House. And that was where she stopped. It wouldn't have been fair to the actress to have resurrected her in another persona for the last half episode.

every medium has constraints (for example very few comic artists can draw paul mcgann's face), but those constraints go beyond budget: they go on to the very tone and structure of the story, and its plot. i don't think that's a bad thing! i imagine a story like blink would be significantly less compelling if it weren't playing on the conventions of the visual medium as it is. it can be really interesting. but hoo boy, i would not want to watch That Scene in gallifrey: pandora in a visual medium. audios are great for extremely visceral and disturbing scenes that would just make me feel ill if televised.

doctor who in prose/audio/comic format really does allow you something special that you just can't get in the tv show, especially with a limited budget: the ability to do whaever the fuck you want, without the restraints of "that would be physically impossible in real life". especially prose! it sounds contradictory but i really think you can get jawdropping visuals and complex worldbuilding in prose that are impossible on television due to the inevitable limits of what you can actually do onscreen and what you have time to do vs the complete lack of limits of the human imahination

[ultrabananapudding]

Jalim | Merman AU

Synopsis:

Octomer!Salim, who studies human artifacts for a job, falls in love with the human who keeps visiting the shoreline at night. So after the human inexplicably jumps into the freezing water one night, Salim doesn't hesitate to save him.

Jason Kolchek, severely traumatized after returning from war, finds a new meaning in life after an "Angel" saves him from drowning. What Jason doesn't know is that in his delusional state, he confused his savior's tentacles for wings and the morning sun for a halo.

Quite the late addition for Mermay but I couldn't resist drawing some Octomer!Salim (*´ω｀*)

I have a particular soft spot for the pairing of Non-human!Salim x Human!Jason because I personally headcanon Jason as the ultimate monsterfucker lmao

Full pages: