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usaghinanami99 · 2 years ago

Note

Ok, so in some way or another, this has morphed into a Naoko Takeuchi callout post. I have tagged it accordingly, but I'll still put the rest under a Read more to be extra sure that whoever doesn't want to read this will not do so accidentally. I think this should also go without saying, but the post does NOT in any way, shape or form contain pictures or even detailed descriptions of the type of content mentioned therein. What it does feature is a (maybe too long and link-heavy) overview of all the damning pieces of evidence that lead to the hard to swallow conclusion that Takeuchi either is or used to be a fan of borderline paedophilic manga and art.

The most evident hint lies in this particular short story, which is very easily available, but the fandom seems to have an unspoken rule of never mentioning it, because well... https://missdream.org/sailor-moon-scanlations/sailor-moon-manga-scanlations/chibiusas-picture-diary-4/ If the main body of the story weren't more than enough to prove that Takeuchi is ok with sexualising children, then the bonus final page would qualm any doubt in regard. Incidentally but not very related to the topic, the Chibiusa's picture diary series of short stories also features the most explicit proof - along with Chapter 9 of Sailor V - that SM is nowhere near as feminist as some fans want to believe, since in the second story (the Tanabata one) the concept of female separatism is ridiculed in the extreme. Btw if you prefer checking them out in print form, these extra chapters are featured in Volume 1 (out of two) of Pretty guardian Sailor Moon short stories.

That was it as far as the paedophilic content she's personally created goes (but any number above 0 is obviously too much); however, looking behind the scenes paints a far more coherent picture - starting with this interview (https://www.tuxedounmasked.com/lunar-logs-naoko-discusses-love-and-life-before-sailor-moon/), which I personally deem to be a fantastic read, both informative and hilarious... if only it weren't for the can of worms that it opened. Since I am naturally curious, a worshipper of Takeuchi's work as a mangaka and always eager to expand my knowledge of the manga world, the obvious thing for me to do was researching every title and artist mentioned in the interview (except those I already knew, of course). While the majority of the manga that Takeuchi states she's a fan of are very normal and harmless, the same cannot be said about her professed passion for プチ・アップル・パイ / Petit Apple Pie (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Petit_Apple_Pie), a magazine hosting manga that while not outright pornographic, were still undeniably suggestive in their sexualisation of female children - to put it in the most inequivocable and simple manner, yes, that's lolicon content; not the most explicit form, but still lolicon, and any doubts that I may have got were dispelled by making a search through Google Images with the SafeSearch option turned on to avoid seeing the worst. In the same interview, Takeuchi doubles down by declaring her love for the mangaka かがみ・あきら / Akira Kagami (I couldn't find any English-only profiles this time around, so this is all I can offer to get a general idea: https://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E3%81%8B%E3%81%8C%E3%81%BF%E3%81%82%E3%81%8D%E3%82%89 and https://japan.fandom.com/ja/wiki/%E3%81%8B%E3%81%8C%E3%81%BF%E3%81%82%E3%81%8D%E3%82%89), who dabbled in various genres and demographics, including unobjectionable ones (as was the norm for perverted mangaka during the bishōjo boom of the 80's), but seems to be best remembered for his work in the "relatively tame lolicon" niche. I'm noticing a pattern here... As a side note, when looking at the publication dates of the magazine and the period of activity of the mangaka, it might be possible to be slightly lenient towards Takeuchi who, considering she was born in 1967, couldn't be much older than the characters portrayed in this type of manga when she started seeking it out; but the fact remains that she's recounting all of this in an interview given in 1994, when she doesn't seem to either regret or contextualise these reading choices in the slightest.

The other big piece of evidence, unlike the aforementioned interview, is really under everyone's eyes: we all know that Chapter 3 of Codename Sailor V deals with Pandora's ambition and the subsequent Chapter 4 with her sister Petite Pandora's ambition. Going into another barely related tangent (because I can't bring myself to function without them), these two were actually the very first chapters of any Sailor-related manga to see the light of day in magazine form, with what we now know as Chapters 1 & 2 being added in retroactively to give a proper origin to what had been born as a mere one-shot but had then evolved into an ongoing serial; the original publication order of Sailor V chapters in RunRun is 3, 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, then followed by 7 to 16 in regular order, so it's no wonder that the full title of Chapter 3 is Sailor V's first appearance! Channel 44 - Pandora's ambition, even when it's very much not her first appearance in all collected volume editions. Sorry again for this tangent, but I find it pretty telling that Takeuchi decided to insert an homage to the lolicon genre in what was at the time only the second chapter of Sailor V, thus the first one in the series that was conceived as part of a bigger picture than itself right from the starting point. The point I've spent so much time before reaching is that the titular enemy of Chapter 4, Petite Pandora, is fittingly named because she's the little sister of the previous (and all-around "first") enemy, and because she's a pretty young girl whose popularity as an idol explicitly stems from her beauty and youth, granting her a large fandom of predominantly male otaku not unlike those who salivate after real-life young singers. Well, the fact is that プチ・パンドラ / Petite Pandora is also the name of yet another lolicon manga magazine that used to be published during the 80's; I guess this one wasn't so popular as Petit Apple Pie since I couldn't find any profiles dedicated solely to it, but this page does clarify its nature: https://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E4%B8%80%E6%B0%B4%E7%A4%BE Additionally, a footnote to a different general article (https://www.weblio.jp/content/%E3%83%AD%E3%83%AA%E3%82%B3%E3%83%B3%E6%BC%AB%E7%94%BB?dictCode=WKPJA#cite_note-128, I'm linking to the note directly instead of the main body of the text because the article's page opens with a suggestive image of the type that you can imagine) openly states that Naoko Takeuchi was a famous/high-profile reader of the magazine Petite Pandora, citing this book as a source for the statement: https://www.amazon.co.jp/%E5%87%BA%E5%AE%B6%E6%97%A5%E8%A8%98%E2%80%95%E3%81%82%E3%82%8B%E3%80%8C%E3%81%8A%E3%81%9F%E3%81%8F%E3%80%8D%E3%81%AE%E7%94%9F%E6%B6%AF-%E8%9B%AD%E5%85%90%E7%A5%9E-%E5%BB%BA-%E5%85%83/dp/4048839322 I can't and shan't check this book in person for obvious reasons, I'm just putting this here in case someone is really, really keen on verifying primary sources - which I, too, am usually keen on, but not when it involves purchasing a mémoir by a proud lolicon editor written in a language I'm no expert in.

Btw, if you're starting to believe that featuring the word "Petit(e)" in the title means that a manga magazine deals with that type of nasty content, I think I should point out that the same word seems to be also popular with normal josē magazines featuring none of this shit, as is proven by Akita Shōten's recent monthly プチ・プリンセス / Petite Princesse, as well as the historic プチ・コミック / Petit Comic and プチ・フラワー / Petit Flower, both "normal" josē monthly magazines published by Shōgakukan; in this case, the naming choice seems to reference not the perverted attraction towards prepubescent youth, but the catering to young women as the targetted demographic. I promise this is the last useless side note, but I find it funny (by which I mean absolutely unfunny) that Petite Pandora from Sailor V is nowhere near the most important animanga girl named after a lolicon magazine - that honour goes to Elpeo Ple from Gundam ZZ (discussed here in great detail: https://podcastaddict.com/episode/116432131?fbclid=IwAR1ouu9ILRUtLlyrw4TdyVffa3wRsVFTyQIWbp3HDl4By8Tv9sts9NtMekY), whose name is a reference to Lemon People, a manga magazine that, unlike the other two mentioned above, did not delve in softcore material but in explicit child pornography. It's weird how two different but both highly important and respected authors as Tomino and Takeuchi are thought it was such a brilliant idea to employ the same type of sick in-joke. Aanyway, in case anyone still held any doubts, here's indisputable proof that Petite Pandora's name was no coincidence, straight from the author's mouth:

I'm not capable of offering a proper translation because my Japanese is, to put it bluntly, very basic and lacking (I was able to study it for a few months only 😥) so I frankly cannot understand most of the text, but what little I can make out suggests to me that both Naoko Takeuchi and her editor Fumio Osano are or were fans of the infamous Petite Pandora magazine, with Takeuchi openly explaining the homage behind the character's naming choice, and then... seemingly equating her love for this nasty magazine with the love she held for the innocent shōjo magazine Ribbon? Needless to say I'd really, really appreciate it if someone who knows Japanese for real were to translate this page. 😅

In any case, the page in question comes from Volume 1 of the first Codename Sailor V compiled edition, where it appears as a message from the author to the readers right after Chapter 4 has wrapped up. This message had since long been of pretty easy access, but I never noticed it until when I decided to give a thorough, page-by-page look at the three main versions of the SM manga (magazine, tankōbon and shinsōban) to get a proper idea of the many changes made, an amazing pastime which wouldn't have been possible without the raw scans provided by the wonderful Miss Dream webmasters. Unfortunately you won't find this type of pages in subsequent editions, either shinsōban or kanzenban (I'm not even counting the bunkōbon because its existence is useless, lol), but make no mistake, this doesn't seem to be an effort on Takeuchi's part to "erase" this piece of shameful history from her manga: it's just that pretty much all the free talk corners and liner notes were expunged from all book re-editions from shinsōban onwards and replaced by old sketches and doodles, so you can only find this sort of authorial comments in the original tankōbon, independently of whether they involve mentions of paedophilia or not.

The last material I'm going to show is not a proof but just a hint - something which, if taken alone, would've never made me deem Takeuchi a potential paedo supporter, but which still adds something small to the general picture that's been painted. What I want to bring to your attention is this page from Chapter 5 of Codename Sailor V, titled Dark Agency's plot, and in particular Amano's speech bubbles in the top-left panel.

Since I know that not everyone trusts scanlators implicitly, and since the official edition I own does word things in a different way (but the incriminated part retains the same meaning), I think that including the raw page should qualm any doubts about the possibilities of there being a mistranslation. I've taken the liberty of putting my unparalleled Paint skills to good use by highlighting the two major keywords, dōjinshi and lolicon. This is where I point out that, far later down the line, Takeuchi herself would try her hand in the dōjinshi field along with her husband, and luckily their efforts do not belong to the loli genre.

Both scans were provided by - who else? - the legendary folks at Miss Dream. As I've said, Amano being a creep and Dark Agency doing light paedo pandering may not necessarily be signs of something sinister going on with the author on their own... if only there weren't all the pieces of evidence I've listed above.

Welp, that was it; while it may not seem much, all of this combined paints a very clear picture that would be dishonest to claim is mere coincidence. Finding out all of this was obviously a shock for me too, and I am sorry if this causes Takeuchi's pedestal to be broken for any other fan, and especially for derailing the original conversation towards such a nasty topic. All things considered, I think what surprises me the most is that the English-speaking SM fandom is full of people who actually know Japanese, but I've never seen anyone trying to spread this information in the dozen of years I've been involved so far, so I wonder whether I'm really the only one seeing this, or it's they who purposefully keep these facts under tight wraps to avoid confronting the reality of Naoko Takeuchi and her oeuvre being far from morally pure. Then I wonder whether this being common knowledge would break the fandom in desperation and cause many tentatives of "cancelling" the author, or if they'd just dismiss it as no big deal, similarly to how both the fans and the publishing animanga industry have got no qualms or second guesses about keeping on supporting Watsuki even after what he's been proven guilty of. 😒 Long story short, Takeuchi is, like anyone else, a daughter of her time, and her youth as an avid manga reader leaves clear traces in her adult years as a professional mangaka. I happen to think that half of this influence is an amazing component of her work, by which I mean that she was one of the very few remaining mangaka who didn't conform to the bland graphic trends of 90's manga, instead repurposing her own interpretation of the superb artistic conventions typical in the great shōjo classics of the 70's that she read as a child. But she was also a teenage manga fan during the 80's, which meant that she was fully immersed in the pre-89 otaku culture, where loli bait was ubiquitous and normalised even in mainstream media. It's no wonder that the comics she read with passion ended up influencing her professional activity, but obviously nothing could ever be an excuse for seeking out this type of magazine on purpose and then going on to celebrate it as an adult, particularly one writing for an all-ages public.

I know, right?!? Every day it seems like the SM fandom is filled with more and more gendies who claim stuff like how Haruka isn't actually a woman or worse... And what's more, this is far from being the most deranged take I've seen recently, especially now that June has started. But then they'll turn around and claim that SM is actually the pinnacle of feminism in manga, when it's so clearly liberal-leaning and pro-beauty standards that it's anything but. What can I say, the sane people have to stick together! While to be honest I have to say that I don't share your shipping opinions in the slightest, I'd always admire a "rival" like you more than a shipmate who's also a hardcore TQ+ cultist. Sorry if my English isn't exactly the best, I hope I can convey what I want to all the same. ^^

I was absolutely devastated that in Crystal they seriously added the line 'Haruka isn't a man or a woman.' Like... sorry, no. If that was the case then why the hell did Michiru and Haruka get that awful "they're cousins" treatment for the western localization in the OG anime 🙄

I swear ....claiming that SM is a "feminist" work has to do with the fact that people don't want to admit that they enjoy things that aren't politically "pure". Because in their minds it would reflect on who they are as a person, and if something they enjoy isn't perfect, then they aren't either. Tbh I think there's a lot of unchecked narcissistic behavior in fandom communities as a whole 🤦🏻‍♀️

Oh GOSH. My shipping is a mess !! LMAOOO. I should be ashamed of it but I'm so shameless🤣 Tbh i recently started shipping Usagi with practically everyone 😭🤦🏻‍♀️ I'm ©onflicted, that's for sure

but hell yeah, shipping wars be damned, female solidarity til death >:] 😂😂

and omg no, don't even worry! I had no idea English wasn't your first language from your ask!! your message got across Crystal (🤭) clear ♥️

#tw loli mention

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hansoulo · 4 years ago

Text

whisper scarcely breathing

part four of “Pillar of Salt”

Pairing: Boba Fett/Princess!Reader (she/her pronouns, no Y/N)

Warnings: NC-17, NSFW, explicit language, mentions of canon-typical violence, fluff, hurt/comfort but without the hurt, bathing and/or being bathed, choking, female-receiving oral, loss of virginity, unprotected M/F intercourse

Word Count: 6.1k

Image Credit: (x) by @/365filmsbyauroranocte, not meant to be a representation of the reader

A/N: this one is for the boys with the boomin’ system 😩💦

༓ series masterlist ༓

The datapad that you’d left in the garden was thrust back into your possession one morning by the hurried hands of a maid. Truthfully, you had forgotten all about it. The mind, when faced with matters as pressing as the press of a mouth, tends to forget about inconsequential objects.

You’d never met the girl standing in front of you before, and she avoided your eyes while passing over the small screen. She seemed eager to be rid of it. You couldn’t say you blamed her. “‘S yours, miss. The bounty hunter said you’d lost it.”

Did he, now?

“Thank you,” you replied sincerely, careful not to let the datapad drop to the floor as you tucked it back into the deep brocade of your gown pockets. You didn’t have the wherewithal at first to ask her when he’d found it or found the time to return it. But you also didn’t have the common sense to keep your mouth shut. “Could I ask when he gave it to you?”

The servant ducked her head. “This morning, your Highness. I- I was in the loading bay when they left, think he was tryin’ to get a hold of you but didn’t have the time, told me- told me to keep quiet ‘bout it.” A bob of her throat signalled a nervous swallow. “Princess.”

Poor girl, you thought to yourself absentmindedly. Boba probably scared her half out of her wits.

“Really, I can’t thank you enough.” You touched a soft hand to the servant’s shoulder in an misguided attempt to soothe. She returned the action with a nervous smile, eyes still downcast and trying not to shy away.

You never realized how afraid they all were. Of you.

The realization made your tongue tangle in your throat, tripping over some lie about a fever and champagne-induced amnesia as explanation for your exchanges with a man so ill-acquainted.

Hopefully, the maid didn’t make a habit of gossip.

Hopefully, you stopped making a habit of Boba Fett.

⫸———————————————— ⫷

A chaincode, a datapad tracking number, and the rest of your life flashed in backlit neon. You silently cursed yourself for not putting an opening passcode on anything, including the datapad that you now held with slightly tremoring hands.

In your defense, it’s not like it held anything of interest. Mostly just holonovels and some pictures of things you found intriguing enough to want to paint or draw.

But now there was a thing of veritable interest stuffed into a new folder titled “Your Highness” and glowing in galactic basic.

BF-18378-3263827

You stared at the numbers until they morphed into a strong, stern-featured face, muddy in your imagination against the ink night invading your bedroom. Boba left his tracking number there for you. If you wanted to, you could use them to message him or comm him or leave a holoprojection message. Whenever you wanted. Right now, even.

When did he even find your datapad? Why he found it (and why he returned it with the aforementioned numerical contraband) was probably a more apt question.

There was quite a lot to think about. Best to take stock of the present moment, lest you lose your head and go completely mad. As if you hadn’t already.

The facts repeated themselves in a half-conscious mantra, screen slipping out of your hands and onto the pillow beside your head. Facts. Facts were good. What were the facts, again?

Boba Fett was arguably the most dangerous bounty hunter in the galaxy.

Boba Fett was not much of a talker.

Boba Fett was a piss-poor dancer.

And Boba Fett was an unfairly good kisser.

The beginning three points held little negative sway, with the first adding much more appeal than it should, the second a welcome relief, and the third being… sort of endearing.

It was on the last point that your mind lingered the longest.

You didn’t even realize you’d copied numbers into the screen’s communications system until its microphone crackled to life.

One breath, two breaths, stuck in your sleep-thick throat. No words from either side yet. Did you get the tracking code wrong? Maybe. Maybe.

Maybe you were dreaming already, imagining the wind outside to be the quiet, husky inhale that sounded from the other end of the receiver.

“Not falling asleep are we, princess?”

Your eyes shot open. “No. No, I’m…” the words croaked themselves out as you fought down a yawn, “I’m awake.” His low chuckle. “I called you didn’t I?”

“That you did,” Boba assented. Quiet amusement colored his accent. “And you called because…”

“I wanted to,” you said simply, without room for teasing. You were too sleepy to be ashamed of admitting you sought out his company, as foolish as doing so was. No use in hiding what both parties knew to be true.

He let out a noise of soft approval and it rumbled a pleasant sunburst between your ears. “You seem to want a lot of things, don’t you?”

Makes me want… want…

Want what, Princess?

Want you.

You can have me.

The memory snaked a fever flush down your neck, over the still-tender skin and lightly mottled marks. Boba was remembering it just as well as you were. You knew he was.

It gave you a rush, a weird sort of power trip. Because as stupid as you felt doing this, wanting this, he wanted it too. Enough to let your hands thread through his hair and around his arms, then to the scar above his left brow and across his mouth. Enough to let you do it again at the risk of being caught. Enough to leave you his tracking number, like you were two teenagers trading love letters and not legal adults with judgement better enough to do otherwise.

You stayed on the comm for two hours, and only went to sleep because Boba threatened to cut your link off if you didn’t.

⫸———————————————— ⫷

It had been almost five standard months since the first time you’d spoken. Typed words continued to be exchanged under your covers, day after day, night after night. Sometimes you’d fall asleep talking, peppering him with questions about his ship and his job until your throat ached with the effort of keeping yourself awake. Sometimes you did more than talk.

He never fell asleep. Never seemed to sleep, period.

What a strange man. Strange, dangerous, interesting man.

You often missed each other by a hair’s breadth. Courtly flurry and galactic bounty hunting didn’t make much space for private conversation. Boba was still taciturn. You were still naive.

And yet…

You liked him. He listened when you talked about botany and painting, neither of which you imagined interested him. He was arrogant and cocky and insufferable sometimes, but he listened. He told you about his job and regaled your sheltered curiosity with lurid, gory details. He told you about his father.

And one day he somehow, miraculously, had a set of Nabooan watercolors left for you in the garden.

Biting down a juvenile grin with every new message, you watched the quiet ping! of the datapad.

Hello

are you busy?

In a way

how so

Had a brush with Hutt’s rancor

poor thing

Don’t get soft on me now

wasn’t talking about you

Very funny

I’m very, very sorry

Should be. The bastard nearly tore up my flight suit

… show me?

⫸———————————————— ⫷

BF-18378-3263827 HAS ATTACHED 3 FILES

⫸———————————————— ⫷

HOLOCALL DURATION: 02:45:35 HOURS

SAVE CALL RECORDING? PRESS YES/NO TO CONFIRM

Your damp hands tremored.

YES

⫸———————————————— ⫷

Six months, four days, and 20 hours. That’s how long it took for you to see Boba Fett again.

You’d started to think the entire ordeal was a mirage, an illusionary experience your brain conjured up for you as a one-time brush with what your life could have been. Who it could’ve been with.

But you did see him again. Foolhardy, reckless, and unplanned.

You didn’t listen to his explanation about having to leave in the morning, taking some third-rate bounty as an excuse to come back to Quas Killam for the first time in what seemed like ages—practically eons since his mouth had last been at your neck. He appeared on your bedroom balcony near midnight like an apparition, mounted by a still-burning jetpack that shut off with an arc of smoke.

You’d been sleeping, albeit fitfully, and woke the minute his knuckles rapped against the glass. You didn’t remember ever telling him where your bedchambers were, but given… everything… you couldn’t say you were surprised he knew. When he crouched down to shed the helmet, it made a soft thump on the plush carpet.

And then you kissed. And kissed. And kissed.

Boba’s fingertips dragged fire across your prickled skin with every pass. Whose breathing was whose didn’t matter. It was hard, heaving, and shared. Eyes closed, lips raw, every part of you dizzy. Dizzy.

The sneeze that left you was loud enough to knock his forehead against yours. Hard.

Feet stumbling until your legs hit the bedspread, you let your weakened knees carry you down into a sitting position atop the covers and tried to catch your breath. Boba only chuckled, seemingly unperturbed by the mild injury.

Of course your body had picked today to come down with a cold. And of course you’d forgotten to tell him.

In your defense (you seemed to do a lot of self-defending these days) you didn’t know Boba would be coming tonight. When you asked him a week ago—the last time you’d spoken—he’d said “soon.” Whatever “soon” meant, you hadn’t anticipated it being now. Your rumpled nightgown and deteriorating personal hygiene was evidence enough of that.

The day had passed in fitful naps, with you waving away all attempts at help until the servants who usually tittered about decided to give you a wide berth until tomorrow. They’d left the door locked and your curtains drawn, thank the gods.

“A hello would’ve been nice,” you mumbled. The lingering taste of him in your mouth mixed with the bitter medicine that you’d forced down a few hours ago.

Boba didn’t answer at first, only stalking forward with his silhouette glowing in light of the full moon. You brought your knees up to your chest to make room for him to stand in front of you. Every movement was bathed in slowness, in the reverence of caution and night-time silence.

His gloved hand brushed against your chin and tilted it upwards, thumb rubbing a small circle into your jawbone as he moved your face in one large grip. Left, inspecting a swollen mouth and puffy eyes, then right. Up to see the column of your exposed neck. Down to meet his bare, dark face.

He kissed you again, more gentle this time. “Hello.”

A soft whimper left your throat.

Oh, you hated it. Hated the way you sounded when he touched you, small and pathetic. Needy.

The balustrade doors were still open, and this fact was made known by a particularly biting gust of silver wind.

“You’re cold,” the man standing close to you noted with a deep downquirk of his mouth. Boba never had to conceal anything; his helmet did that for him. But when it was off, every thought flickered past his face in evening technicolor.

Your hands paused in their run up your arms to hold petulantly at your elbows, covered only by the thin fabric of your shift. Goosebumps rose against your neck with a new breeze and you fought down the urge to shiver. “M’not.”

“And stubborn.”

You glared at him, but it held no real venom.

“I appreciate the concern,” you sniffled again and your body trembled slightly. “But I’m the picture of health. I really have never been—” here you sneezed rather violently, crumbling any remaining sense of composure and making the final words thick with congestion, “—any better.” Boba hooked two strong arms underneath your knees and around your shoulders. “Wh- what are you doing?”

“C’mon,” Boba grunted and lifted you to his chest in one swift, easy motion. “Up.”

“I’m already up,” you grumbled, a headache you’d thought was all but gone now throbbing from the quick movement. Armor pressed to your cheek and you let yourself go pliant, curling up into Boba’s broad chest. He smelled nice. Like the outdoors. The real outdoors—not manufactured gardens or stone courtyards. No, dangerous things. Like deserts and leather and guns.

You queried him as he walked in long strides across the room. “Where are you taking me? Should have you—” another sneeze burned your airways, “—have you arrested for treason. A high crime or misdemeanor of some sort, kidnapping royalty...”

He only scoffed, shifting your slack body into his one-armed grip when he arrived at the entrance of your adjunct refresher. The door opened with a soft click. “You talk too much.”

Your head rolled back to face him, pressed so close already that the attempt made you cross-eyed. “And you,” a polished finger jabbed lightly at his chest plate, “are up to no good.”

You were only joking, but Boba didn’t deny it.

Green was your favorite color, even before you met him. It was the color of gardens. Of mint leaves. Of insects and jewels. Of him.

Gods, he was beautiful. Did he know that? Would he ever believe you if you told him? He was achingly, painfully, humanly beautiful. It hurt like needles.

The man set you down to your immediate protests. Funny how quick you seemed to change your mind. “Don’t whine,” he chided when you did just that, pushing you forward by the small of your back.

You walked into the refresher confused, that same confusion compounding when Boba strode over to the marble bathtub in room’s center with a surety that belayed the fact he’d never once stepped foot inside here. Were all bounty hunters this self-assured? Or was he just so full of bathroom bravado that your sprawling floor-plan didn’t faze him?

Whatever the case was, said bounty hunter was now crouched down on the tile floor and twisting the tub faucets until they sprayed out a gush of hot water, quickly filling the room with heady steam.

“Hot water helps.” A still-gloved hand dipped an inch into the filling tub and deemed it acceptable. “The steam’ll clear up those sneezes of yours. And the headache.”

“How did you know I-” your mouth opened and closed before you realized you didn’t do a great job of hiding your symptoms. Maker knows you looked a sight, all mussed and tired and sticky with cold sweat. He should make a run for it now, you half-joked to yourself. He’s only ever seen me stuffed into a corset and done up half to death.

He got up with a grunt and turned back towards you. Beskar and durasteel and tactical fabric suddenly made you feel, for the first time in your life, underdressed. “‘S not hard to tell, princess.”

“Oh,” was your only response as you pushed off the sink counter, fisting the fabric of your nightgown in an unconscious display of hesitancy.

Boba’s heavy boots made for the door.

It was probably just to leave you some semblance of privacy, but you panicked, not wanting to be left alone now that he was finally here. “Wait!” you burst out, reaching a palm onto his shoulder before he could exit. “Wait. Can— can you stay?” Of course he won’t stay, you dolt. He probably came to sleep with you, not babysit you. “Please?”

Both of his hands curled into themselves when he turned back to you, their leather squeaking in the tight flex. Then, they released limp by his sides. Each word was carefully measured, slow-simmering like a pot about to boil over. Like a trigger finger twitchy on a blaster. “If you want me to.”

You answered with a bobbing nod and a swallow. “I do.”

⫸————————————————⫷

Boba Fett had long since forgotten he was a man. Instead, he was armor. He was a code, a set of strict (albeit grey) morals, the steadfast honor he’d been imbibed with from the years with his father and then the years of tearing emptiness after.

Bounty hunters had no time for attachments. They couldn’t afford to humor every batting eyelash with more than a self-serving flirtation, and he’d had his fill of those already. He’d overflowed his cup ten times over with shallow pleasantries and quick release.

But those days were long-gone. Had been for years now. Now he was practically puritanical.

Had been, anyway.

He didn’t like thinking of himself as impulsive, wanting to leave the trait behind in his younger years but not being old enough to shake it off completely. But he wasn’t impulsive anymore. He wasn’t.

You were going to destroy him.

Low-ranking royalty on some Imperial-occupied factory planet; sheltered and pretty. You had the brightest eyes he had ever seen and a temperament that took no prisoners, and you were going to destroy him.

Boba thought you’d make him leave, but you didn’t. You wanted him to stay and told him so.

So he stayed. His armor was peeled off in your presence for the first time— carefully placed on a chair in your bedroom—and he walked back into the refresher to see you untying your flimsy nightdress like it’d done you a personal wrong.

When it dropped beside your feet, it took every ounce of self-control Boba possessed to stop himself from eating you whole.

He heard you kick it to the floor (his eyes had since been very determinedly fixed on a fascinating piece of groutwork near his left foot) before you stepped into the bath, sighing in a way that made breathing a work harder than it should’ve been.

His looking away wasn’t a request on your part, you didn’t seem to mind either way, but he didn’t trust himself to do otherwise. Not until the sounds of splashing had subsided somewhat, signalling your stilled motion. “Boba?”

Now there was permission to walk. Look down. Right foot, left foot. Right foot, left foot. Right foot, the clawfoot of the bathtub. He had reached his destination.

A wet hand tugged at his belt loops and he finally allowed himself to look, meeting the sight of you sitting bare in the clear-blue water with legs pulled up to your chest. The arm not touching him was roped around your calves. Your chin rested on the wide, curved lip of the tub.

If Boba had any self-respect, it had been snuffed out the first moment you opened your mouth, six months ago in that cavernous palace hallway with your failed attempt at bravado. It was haughty, short-lived, and adorable.

Maker, you were beautiful. Did you know that? Would you ever believe him if you told you? You were blindingly, effervescently, humanly beautiful. It hurt like needles.

The position of your chin forced your lips into a slight pout. As if you needed another weapon in your arsenal of ways to make him question his judgement. “Could you bring me the tray on the counter?”

Of course he could. He could bring you anything you liked. He would bring you a rancor, a dozen rancors, a fucking sarlaac if it meant you would smile all soft-like the way you just did when he answered yes.

Boba Fett, mercenary feared farther than he would ever live to travel and hunter too expensive for the Imperial payroll, was now a bath attendant. It was torturous in its sensual irony.

The tray was brought over in short order, cluttered with tiny vials of Maker-knows-what and bars of who-knows-how. Individually they probably all smelled nice, but crowded together the heavy scents only made his head spin. He set the tray down on the floor with a rattle and held up each mystery soap for your inspection. No. No. No. No, not that one. Gods, you were picky. No. No. Yes, please.

You were Miss Manners tonight apparently.

“It’s floating archidia,” you told him, mind running through an endless backlog of plant indexes as he handed over the soap. You sounded clearer now, less congested and more alert. Needed to drink water, though. “The flower that this is made with, I mean. Native to the planet Nubia, rumored to have euphoric properties.” You snorted and ran a thumbnail along the bar’s waxy edge, bringing up a curled pink piece. “Whatever that means.”

“Do you think it does?”

“Have euphoric properties?” you hummed, considering it for a moment. “Maybe. But maybe it’s just wishful thinking.”

“Wishful thinking,” Boba parroted.

The meaning of words can change when they’re repeated. Neither of your minds were on flowers.

His jaw tensed when you reached your other hand to his forearm, baring the rest of your body to the dim orange of the refresher lights’ night settings. The water rippled, warm now instead of steaming, and your fingers curled around the scarred skin of his wrist. “Take off the gloves,” you echoed, your voice suddenly desperate and distant as you traced over pale leather seams. “Please.”

He had refused the first time simply to toy with you. You weren’t used to being told no, and it showed. But he let you take off his helmet in a moment of thoughtless self-indulgence, scratching the part of his subconscious that itched to be touched, stroked, held. Shedding the helmet in front of someone else didn’t really mean anything in an honorable sense—at least not to Boba. Nothing tied him to the habit except a desire to keep himself and his motivations unknown. It was easier that way. Less messy.

He acquiesced. "Since you asked so nicely."

Wrinkling your nose, you guided newly-bare palms to knead gently at your shoulder blades. The skin there was soft and warm, pliant under his sandpaper touch. "Keep mentioning it and I'll go back to being difficult."

The soap made foamy bubbles across your back, over your arms and the velvet slope of your hips. Fingertips ghosted through the space between your jaw and ear, where he remembered sucking in a soft bruise.

He liked being known by you.

⫸————————————————⫷

You clambered out the tub with all the grace of a baby krugga deer and about as much shame. Which is to say, none at all. The subsiding cold had left you tired, bones like jelly and mind sloshing its thoughts around with no real order. Boba was here. Had stayed. Was standing in front of you now, watching tiny water droplets trail down your feet and letting you balance on his arm to keep you from stumbling.

A towel was wrapped around your shoulders. The press of his hot mouth against your forehead followed close behind. “Go sit on the bed.”

For some reason, you didn’t mind listening to him this time. Chalk it up to moldable exhaustion, you thought. Definitely not the fact that his voice sounded especially nice tonight, or any number of other questionable reasons.

He was going to ruin you. Or you would ruin yourself. Any way it was construed, Boba would play a part.

Still only in a towel, you drank the stale tea that sat on your bedside table and watched in mild interest as the mercenary’s shadow emptied out tepid bathwater with the thick glugluglug of the drain. It washed down soap and all your shared secrets.

Was it wrong that you still wanted him? More, now that he’d done this for you? Now that it wasn’t just cruel kisses and groping hands? What sort of a person did that make you?

Your mind whispered it when Boba walked back towards you. Someone lonely.

He helped you slide a new chemise on when you asked him to, quick and steady over the thin linen ties. I bet you do that with all the girls, you’d teased. No, he answered simply. Just you.

He was going to ruin you.

“Do you have to go yet?” you asked quietly and climbed under the covers. They were green today. Life enjoyed coincidences like that.

Boba crouched down on the floor beside your lying figure and shook his head. A wide fingertip smoothed away the crease between your brows. He was doing lots of touching. You were not complaining. “Not ‘til morning.”

“You might as well then,” you mumbled and lifted up the embroidered blankets with a sleep-slack hand. “No one’ll bother us, I promise.” you answered the empty air, too heartsick to comprehend any possible insinuations and too tired to realize the fingers tracing your brow bone had paused. “I told them all not to come back until tomorrow.”

His shirt and pants were shed in an unceremonious pile. You were already half-asleep when he climbed into the other side of the bed, slotting his legs against yours like puzzle pieces. Two question marks curled into each other, his chest to your back and his lips brushing your head.

“Goodnight, princess.”

⫸————————————————⫷

You were dreaming about him.

He was the burning sun that every single one of your thoughts had orbited around for the last six months and now he was invading your subconscious, dream-talons taking the form of dark hands rubbing soft circles against you and then invading your open mouth.

In your dream, Boba touched you softly and not at all, a tease even in your self-serving imagination.

Then you woke up, and it wasn’t a dream anymore.

Two thick arms encircled your waist with a grip unyielding in their strength. They’d pulled you impossibly close, pressed up against his sleeping body until every ridge of his muscled stomach could be felt against your back. Something else was against your back.

Your head reeled in its effort to sludge through the fog of sleep and reach the reality of masculine hips. They shifted in an unintentional grind against your legs until you couldn’t bite back the gasp that bubbled out from your voicebox, the sound quiet, keening, and lost in the shuffled sounds of fabric. It was still dark out. The water-clock in the corner of your room read 01:25:02.

You hadn’t put on anything underneath the new chemise. Why bother, when he’d already seen everything? Your body had grown to be a thing for display, a clothes-hanger and object to be prodded by strangers, and you’d long since rid yourself of any precocious modesty.

But this was different.

When Boba touched you, it wasn’t to sew flowers in your hair or drape a sash over your chest. It was simply to touch. The thought made you light-headed with newfound embarrassment, wiggling in his grip until you turned to face his sleeping form.

All the heavy things he carried on his shoulders during the day were gone now. His bottom lip pillowed out when he slept and he looked younger, the perpetual downturn of his lips now settled below the black hair at his temples. You felt a sticky sort of fondness settle in your chest.

“Boba,” you whispered, two hands placing themselves on his tanned cheeks. They traced the divots of scars and premature lines with all the reverence of worshipfulness.

“Mmm,” his voice rumbled with eyes still closed. A warm mouth kissed the side of your palm.

“Boba,” you repeated, more desperate this time but not knowing what you were desperate for. The space between your legs already knew what it wanted, hot and pulsing with a familiar dampness. Traitor.

“What do you need?” The question wasn’t accusatory, nor annoyed at your waking him. It was known that he would give you whatever you liked. Eventually.

You. Just you.

“I don’t,” you huffed, the fabric sticking uncomfortably to your now overheated body as you squirmed, “I don’t know.” Lie.

“Think about it and tell me,” he whispered, eyes opening in their dark, heavy-lidded expectation. The moon and stars suspended outside offered light enough to see the smirk on his face. His skin was the color of burnt earth and of gods. Somewhere, far away in the canopy of carefully pruned trees, a single lark let out its warbled cry.

There was an old adage about being like a lamb to the slaughter. You’d never touched a lamb. Never seen a slaughter. But somehow, you knew it was true.

This lamb, dumb and tender-hearted, was willingly sacrificied.

"I...'' the word left you in the arc of your exhale, one whoosh of air that rattled your chest already wracked with fevered tremors. "I- want you to-"

"You want me to what, pretty thing?" His voice was low, dangerous. It made every part of you want him more. "Say it."

You weren't used to cursing. It was never tolerated and you barely ever heard it, but you'd learned enough to know what he wanted you to say. Which word he wanted to hear, and what it'd mean he would do.

"F-fuck. Me." you choked out, biting your lip to muffle the embarrassment of having to speak it out loud. The word was filthy and raw between your teeth. "Please?"

⫸————————————————⫷

You were dying. Possibly had already died. Were ascending up or barrelling down, you didn’t care as long as his wet mouth stayed between your legs and never, ever stopped.

Wide hands cupped at your skin and kneaded wherever they could reach, simultaneously rough and supplicating. Every pass of his tongue was enough to make you feel possessed. He was killing you.

“Good. Good girl.” he said against your swollen skin when your hips arced off the bed, your spine and toes stiffening for what seemed like an eternity during the damp lightning finish. It sounded like a growl, animalistic and vibrating. A burning, sweet hurt.

Some people call it “little death,” a lady’s maid once whispered underneath her hand in a giggle. “Little death?” you repeated incredulously. That seems a bit dramatic, don’t you think?

You understood now.

Boba didn’t let up, never once letting his touch waver even as you buckled and swayed, all sense lost and all sensation compacting. “Another,” he ordered. Your body listened, bending to his touch without complaint with eyes rolled back into your head.

You were dying.

⫸————————————————⫷

Boba let you lay against him in the downturn, rubbing mindless shapes into the bone of your wrists as you struggled to breathe. Your neck was cradled in one of his broad, bronze palms. It gave one tiny, imperceptible squeeze. An accident. A test.

You pawed at the hand resting heavy on your nape until it moved to leave completely, but was caught instead by your fingers and guided—slow and curious—to cup at your bared throat.

“Dirty,” the man noted in a dark rasp and rolled over to face you. There was a slight smirk in his voice, but that could’ve just been your imagination.

“I don’t see you...” your voice trailed off into a wheeze as Boba’s thick fingers pressed into the sides of your neck, “—see you complaining.”

He kissed you. And kissed you. And kissed you. An eternity was spent opening the seam of your mouth while he choked you softly, baring your pulsating soul with only your bedroom walls as witness to the present depravity. The air was filled with begging and grunting—simple noises that stuttered and left your sheets ruined.

You wanted more. You couldn’t help it.

His chuckle morphed into a groan when you reached down to touch him with widening eyes, squeezing him curiously after pulling down his boxers. “You’re a brave little thing,” Boba noted with a hint of greedy pride. “Never done this before, have you?”

Your own hands served as poor substitutes all these years. You shook your head no.

“D’you want to?”

Of course you did. This was the only thing you wanted. The only thing you would ever want, over and over until your body turned to dust under him. A million grains of fizzy, burning blaster powder. A million comets passing by a supernova.

You nodded and tucked your face into the space between Boba’s shoulder and neck, rolling onto your side and hooking a leg over his hip. Your chests met, damp with sweat as cool air flowed over bare skin. The covers had long since been pushed aside. “Safe,” you said in a heady moan over the shell of his ear. “Implant.”

Thank goodness for modern medicine.

⫸————————————————⫷

It hurt a little at first, but most of the discomfort melted away as he whispered to you, sweet and cloying praises alongside filthy things that you’d be hard-pressed to repeat in public. They wove together in an endless stream of baritone vowels, lapping over each other like ocean waves until everything was a gyrating, syrupy playback.

He let you move against him, mouth open and sloppy against your temple when you whined at the stretch. The hands at your back didn’t push. Only placated. “I know, I know,” Boba assured you with fingers rubbing sympathetic desire into your flesh. It would bruise, but you’d come to like the marks. Your hips bucked at their own accord when he pressed up against something tight, the friction burning a bright, numb spark. “Slow down,” he mumbled into your hair, “You’re gonna hurt yourself.”

Never in your life did you think this was how it would be. Your first kiss, more of a battle than it was a kiss, served as fuel for the expectations of your first time. Never in your life did you think he would be the one telling you to go slow.

It was for your sake, you knew that. But it was still surprising.

You huffed and bit the shell of his ear in childish revenge, blowing a puff of air where you knew it would tickle. Boba only growled and tightened his arms around your waist, rocking into you slow and deep. “Don’t tease,” he warned.

The new movements robbed you of the ability to speak until all you could do in response was lift your head from where it had rested on his shoulder, meeting impossibly dark eyes in lust-addled vision as a building pressure colored the entire world in shades of black, red, and green.

In a moment of complete and utter lack of propriety, you leaned forward, smiling like a woman deranged, and pressed a kiss to his nose.

Boba came undone the same minute you did. It was a rush of wet, rocking pleasure, spreading like thick webs of lighted fire from inside your blood and out to fill the room with quiet devotion. Panting, bursting, close, messy. You’d never felt so whole.

Your foreheads met and you went cross-eyed trying to look at him again. That’s all you wanted to do. Look at him. Uttered underneath his jaw, where the skin was smooth, was your finishing admission. “I love you.”

You didn’t say it to hear it repeated. It was just to give it a shape. Make it concrete. Said more to yourself than him, really.

But Boba did repeat it. Over and over and over. In the tangle of your arms. I love you. In the kiss to your breasts. I love you. In the towel brought between your legs. I love you. In the settled silence of new sleep. I love you, I love you, I love you.

⫸————————————————⫷

The watery light of dawn melted through heavy curtains and you awoke, body weighed down with lead and gold. Sweet soreness had made its home in your muscles and you were loath to get up, but the man you’d been using as a pillow had very rudely left his post.

“I have to go,” he said, already awake and standing sentry by your bed. You raised your head up from the pillows in groggy protest to meet his blurry figure. If you squinted, there were three of him standing there at once.

A shake of your head rid your vision of the doubles, leaving the lone man. He kissed you—quick and dirty, with tongue—and squeezed your exposed breast, prompting a low moan to tumble from your mouth before he slipped his blaster into the holster at his hip. It wasn’t even 6 in the morning and you were thoroughly debauched. What a scandal, you thought (not for the first time) with passing amusement. A bounty hunter and a princess.

Watching in a dim haze as Boba finished strapping on his amor, you tracked the reflection of the sun in the metal’s lazy movement.

He leaned over you. “I’ll be back soon.” Soon. What did soon mean? Another kiss, slow and careful on the bow of your mouth. One more on the slope of your forehead. For luck, you supposed. Whether it was for you or him didn’t matter much. “Promise.”

Slowly, as he climbed out onto your balcony and was gone with a flash of jetpack light, you wondered if it was a mirage; a dream, maybe. The entire night a hallucinatory haze, a figment of your overactive imagination and reckless romanticism.

But the towel left discarded on the floor and the pulsing ache between your legs was very, very real.

#boba fett x reader #boba fett/reader #boba fett fanfiction #boba fett x you #boba fett fic #boba fett oneshot #boba fett imagine

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billiejeanenthusiast · 4 years ago

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Boobiegate masterpost

We know what they did this summer - and oh boy, was a it a wild summer that - unfortunately for us - stretched into autumn and beyond any reason.

I will first go over everything as it happened and then - because when you look back at everything you realise some timelines overlap - I’ll try to clarify some stuff and put it into perspective.

NOTE: I’m writing the dates from a GMT time zone point of view (aka. UK time)

So let’s start from the beginning.

Briana breaks up with Brody Jenner after dating him for some random attention seeking period. (June-September roughly)

Here’s an article talking about that irrelevant relationship. https://www.yourtango.com/2020334835/who-brody-jenner-girlfriend-briana-jungwirth-louis-tomlinson-baby-mama Now let’s fast forward a bit to September.

September 23rd

So on September 23rd we’re flooded with articles about Brody and Bri breaking up and Bri getting back together with her “on-again off-again (boy)friend Nick” and the biggest surprise “BRI IS ENGAGED”

So the story is:

Bri ended her relationship with Brody because “they were moving too fast” and he had “already met Freddie”

She then gets back together with her on-again, off-again bf Nick Gordon

She, her family, and Nick go on a “whirlwind” trip to Las Vegas (MIND YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC)

Bri and Nick get engaged during those Covid inviting few days in Vegas (September 21st- September 23rd)

Articles drop about how they’re engaged and she’s broken up with Brody (Sept 23rd)

Bri, family and Nick all share a huge amount of Vegas pictures of them in love, Bri’s ring, Bri and Nick being a couple (pictures obviously taken before Vegas to hopefully make someone believe that this in no way is a whirlwind engagement after just knowing each other a few weeks. Did they convince anyone? Well if you are convinced - I’m worried for you)

Here’s the tmz article:https://www.tmz.com/2020/09/23/brody-jenner-split-briana-jungwirth-engaged/ Here’s some pics of them we were all subjected to while they were in Vegas. And Nick’s new public profile when it just got made. Was he trying to start an influencer career and say goodbye to being a firefighter? Was he trying to get a night job taking off that all firefighter gear for money? Magic mike was a big movie after all….Who knows.

September 28th

At first the engagement pictures on Nick’s IG were just him and Briana and he used the #/shesaidyes. After a few days and probably after they realised it would be a smart move to acknowledge her kid she claims to have too (👀) he deleted those and on September 28th posted new pictures with a new caption and new # of course. This time “theysaidyes”.

The pictures are below.

But, moving on.

As soon as the engagement news drops, we have Nick - our “good-guy firefighter” making a new and public IG account, flooding it with pictures where he professes his love for Bri and soaking up the d-list association fame.

So in the coming weeks we get a lot of Nick, Bri and their families on IG. They post a lot about being constantly together.

What was the most interesting they really pushed the “dad” image on Nick. He was constantly posting about Freddie and even in Bs or Tammi’s stories he was always seen interacting with F the most.

Then after it seemed like the new fiancees had settle into their soon-to-be married life and everything seemed rosy for them - we get hit with the whammy BOOBIEGATE.

Because hell hath no fury like a sugar daddy scorned.

October 15th

On the 15th of October celebtm a gossip site, posts the next picture and caption on IG:

Basically, they’re saying a guy - his name unknown yet - contacted them to tell them how Briana scammed him out of money she borrowed to get a boob job. Specifically 5k USD. He claims he filed the case in court and it’s dated January.

They ask if anyone else has similar receipts or anything about her and that they’re investigating and will be writing a story. And the comments have a lot to say about Bri.

October 19th

4 days later on October 19th celebtm posts another IG update about how they have the court filing and how their article is in progress.

October 21st

2 days after the last IG post celebtm finally posts their article - on the 21st of October

https://celebmagazine.com/louis-tomlinson-briana-jungwirth-sued-over-boob-job/

(It’s on the web still - if it ever gets deleted let me know I have screen recordings of it)

The article is accompanied by this (below) IG post:

Also on this day we get Briana and Nick deactivating their IG profiles. Nick still kept his personal private IG and the only person who stayed public is Tammi.

October 22nd

A day after the article dropped there’s another IG post with the following picture and caption. Apparently, Sugar Daddy shared his receipts - specifically AmEx - with celebtm.

October 26th

On October 26th celebtm posts the second part of the article. It’s messier, with a more confusing timeline than the first, but tries to “spill” more details on Sugar Daddies relationship with Briana and her life in general.

Also by now we know his name - Michael Strauss. An investor in Warwick club in LA.

https://celebmagazine.com/louis-tomlinson-baby-mama-briana-jungwirth-double-life/

(Again this is the link - if the article gets taken down and you want to see it - DM me)

October 27th

Then a day later we get another IG post - no new article - just more excerpts from what the Sugar Daddy told celebtm.

Then it’s quiet for a few days and when you think this can’t get even more trashy - low and behold the circus that is called October 29th.

October 29th

So after a few days of silence celebtm strikes again, but this time they bring in TV’s most loved judge - Judge Judy. Apparently the TV show was willing to take this litigation and air it as an episode.

As always, they post an IG post and a caption, and the article mentioned in the IG caption below is basically an article written for clicks about Louis and Harry because they saw the larrie part of the fandom was getting them clicks. I’ll leave the link to the article here for documentation purposes, but honestly there’s nothing in there worth giving them clicks for. Not a thing. The title of the article is “A Complete Guide to 1D Members Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles’ Rumoured Relationship”

Article: https://celebmagazine.com/louis-tomlinson-harry-styles-relationship/

November 6th

We see the sudden return from social media exile of Bri to IG. She’s back - with a post and the description ironically saying “I’m back”. I refuse to post it because does anyone really want to look at her face-tuned selfies?

November 9th

Then after weeks of radio silence, the return of Bri to IG, we get what is apparently the - very underwhelming - like Bri’s boobs to Sugar Daddy who never got to see them - conclusion to this Sugar Daddy drama. This following article which is basically a letter from Michael to Briana telling her how he’s giving up on the lawsuit, taking this as a life lesson and how he hopes no one else falls for her scams. Article below:

https://celebmagazine.com/michael-straus-briana-jungwirth-open-letter-to-one-direction-louis-tomlinson-alleged-baby-mama/

(Again this is the link - if the article gets taken down and you want to see it - DM me)

And of course - the article is accompanied by an IG post by celebtm.

So, here we currently are. After watching that circus show no one wanted not paid for (well except the Sugar Daddy, and he didn’t even get to see the thing he paid for - so sad.) we’re in November and the Jungwirths and company are back to their carefree posting on IG.

Current status:

The lawsuit seems to have been dropped.

Everything seems to be in process of being swept under the rug.

Nick - the loving fiancee - is back to IG too. All of his happy, loving pictures with Bri still up (some deleted) - so we must assume their love survived Boobiegate.

As for overlapping timelines:

The timelines overlap mostly during the months March-October with it being said Bri dated Brody, but was also taking money from Boobie Daddy who was helping her during the pandemic, and was later also apparently starting a serious relationship with Nick.

What actually went on - I don’t know. And I’m honestly not interested to find out. This is being mentioned just so anyone coming across this post knows that yes - you didn’t read it wrong - the timelines do overlap with different people saying different things and Bri being tied to all three men at those times without any real clear timeline for the relationships.

So far this is all there is to this mess. If there’s more - I’ll do a part two or addition.

I’d like to end this with saying - these masterposts are 95% just me making them for myself because I forget stuff, and so much goes on in the fandom that if I want to keep up with it all, I need a nice timeline for things. I’m posting this for anyone wanting to make sense of this circus too or just to put it into a timeline. I did fact check all the dates, posts, IG pics, links and so on - but mistakes can happen - if there is one feel free to let me know.

#boobiegate #bri #masterpost

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aiden-png · 3 years ago

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I think this is a really hot take because I have never seen it done before but lowkey Zelda/Shadow is such a good ship? Like. You think Vio is a chaos enabler? Zelda was best friends with mr "I'll fight the pirates single handed and then sneak into to the castle to distract zelda from her duties" Link Obviously in the manga we see her Business Serious side but this girl has got to be the biggest gremlin of all six of them to have not only put up with but enjoyed the company of Link. I think if he comes back and she sees how hes changed then she'd eventually end up getting a little closer to him, and then she'd start getting him in so much trouble because she is a gremlin who loves to cause chaos and he is a gremlin who loves to be part of chaos and what better way to commemorate a new friendship than to prank the royal guards? And then you know things go from there and now theres Zelda and her catboy friend from the dark world and they are inseparable and the nobility better watch out extra bonus points for zelda and vio queerplatonic relationship that is based around causing problems on purpose while sitting drinking tea primly and then kissing their bf about it

OH MY GOD YES!!!! Zelda and Shadow are such a power couple?? especially since Zelda's push in the manga is what got Shadow to start realizing things 0-0 Shadow as Zelda's protection in diplomatic settings is also funnn omggg >:) and YES Zelda/Vio qpp triangle with Shadowwww ;u;

ok ok but, since I LOVE tropes: arranged diplomatic marriage btwn Zelda and Shadow to create peace btwn the light and dark world, but it's 100% them arranging it for chaos and not forced XD Zelda and Shadow messing w ppl who assume they couldn't possibly get along to the point that no one knows if they're romantic, platonic, friends, or enemies gkfjdkgdjfl (also the IMAGE of Shadow and Zelda's clashing colors is vERY good. Shadow in all black and Zelda in white and pastelsss yessssss)

#zelda/shadow #shadow link #zelda #four swords #fsa #thanks anon!#prompt #I.. wanna draw this 0-0

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brainpuncture · 4 years ago

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my friends are all mentally ill <3

im red, @chicken-fetus-owo is purple, cyan is @cyan-succulents , pink is my bf, and green is an unnamed friend by her request

[ image transcription:

red: Hiii i can't do this today besties <33 green: hey pablo what's up how have you been :)

red: picasso

green: pablo have my babies red: ma'am i'm gay

green: doesn't mean you can't adopt a child

red: what does this mean

green: take my children, pablo. I'm sick of them red: Leave them on a street or something i don't want them green: no.

purple: Lately a hole has appeared in my backyard and I swear I keep hearing it wants a sacrifice, then again I also have psychosis, but bring 'Em over and I'll sacrifice them to the hole.

red: BABY HOLE BABY HOLE BABY HOLE

cyan: I'LL BRING THE MATCHES

red: wait no that sounds very bad i take it bad i take it all back

green: wtf is going on can i have the hole baby or is that a no

red: no you can have half

cyan: NO THAT'S EVEN WORSE---

green: can i throw my kids in there or-

purple: Late abortion

green: yeah they get it, put the baby in the hole, no more chain smokers in my house.

purple: Why do they smoke they sound like they're 6

red: soap they're babies babies aren't 6

green: they learned from the best.

purple: What is that supposed to mean.

red: green's a chain smoker

green: they're like their father. w I'M NOT A CHAIN SMOKER MY BABY'S FATHER IS, I'M THE ONE WHO HAS THE ALCOHOL PROBLEM

red: yeah well you just have a combo no big deal they learned from the best bc you're both their mother and father jfc

green: daddy wrecked the kid's bones, jeremy had a bone collection

[ image ID: a catboy on a white background with the caption: "SICK OF WANTING TO PEG A CATBOY" end ID ] (posted by purple) red put "HATRED" next to it.

red: SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT PEGGING CATBOYS

green: AND YOU CALLED ME A CATBOY SIMP-

purple: PEG THE-

red: NO NO NO NO NO

purple: -CATBOY MEOWTHERFUCKERS

green: ALEX DO IT-

red: where would i get a strap on

green: -T x6

cyan: you're all going to hell holy fuck /lh

red: yeah <3

green: You're all going to hell, goodbye (falls off chair)

red: green don't leave you're coming with us

purple: Hold on I have a link on how to make a DIY strap on. I swear I only have it because I was curious if you can make one.

red: concerning

green: I'm catholic so I can't go, sorry fam

pink: i hate everyone here

purple: I hate you all too <3

red: HII DIRK <33

cyan: MOIRAIL SAVE ME

green: BIG DADDY'S HERE

red: WHY DO YOU CALL HIM THAT UGHFKDSJ

green: YES (drawn out but i don't know if that reads well with screen readers sorry)

pink: do not call me big daddy

green: ok darling

red: don't call him darling damn

cyan: MOIRAIL SAVE ME PLEASE---

red: he can't save you madeline

pink: my dad just heard me say "GREEN NOO DON'T CALL ME BIG DADDY"

green: oh no. anyways i'm still going to call you darling

pink: why

green: cause you never told me not to and i like it

[purple posts a youtube link ( https://youtu.be/wK_E21Tuero ) ]

[green posts a youtube link (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eluEfA-7sAg ) ]

red: i'm not clicking on anything you give me

[image ID: aubrey from omori with the caption "SHART", she has a pained look on her face. end ID ]

[Image ID: a picture of the oncler from the lorax in a green suit with a red flower. He is pointing upward. end ID]

[Image ID: shinji from neon genesis evangelion in the style of king of the hill. He's sitting on a maroon couch. the image is very small. end ID]

end transcription ]

#uh #friend tag #that works #ask to tag #long #floor tag

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mental-health-advice · 4 years ago

Note

hi! I don't know exactly what can explain my intimacy issues, but i'm gonna be 25 this year, and never had a BF or did anything with anyone, i do have social anxiety but i think it's mostly because i was bullied by older boys at school, i wasn't (still ain't) a "pretty girl", i was very chubby and wore glasses and they thought i was the ugliest thing and used to laugh at me all the time and that still bothers me. Nowadays i guess i'm pretty terrified of having a relatioship, how can i overcome?

Hey there,

It can be so hard when we get older and see so many people around us in relationships with other people and especially if we haven’t or aren’t in one ourselves. I myself am in my early 30’s and have never had a proper relationship before and nor do I feel like I ever will be able to due to my low self-esteem and anxiety.

It sounds like you have gone through a lot with being bullied in the past by older boys and it does sound like this may have had an impact on you never being in a relationship as yet or been intimate with anyone. Just because you have never experienced this though it does not mean you never will and it sounds like you are willing to put in the work and effort to get to the point where you could be with someone and be OK and happy with that which is awesome to hear if this is something you would like to have or do!

I know it won’t be easy but sometimes revisiting the past with the help of a counsellor or therapist can be really helpful as it can help you to heal and overcome from everything you have gone through and experienced over time. How would you feel about doing this or at least thinking about doing so? It may also be helpful to explore your fears of being in a possible relationship with someone and talk about some helpful coping strategies to help you overcome these fears.

No one can predict the future or even what will happen to us tomorrow. The best that we can do is to live life the best we can today and do what we can to make us happy and content in life no matter what that may look like.

In regards to your looks and how you or others may see yourself, it’s important to recognise and know that we all have flaws and things that we don’t like about ourselves. This is completely normal. What’s important is that we learn to accept our flaws and what we may not like about ourselves and especially if it’s something we cannot change. Our flaws are what makes us, us and we are all very different and unique in our own special ways. I encourage you to check out our section on improving body image which you can find in this link here as you may find it helpful.

I hope that this has helped a bit and please know that I am thinking of you!

Take care,

Lauren

#mha-lauren #advice #advice blog #mental health advice #anonymous #relationship #intimacy issues #bullied

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lanajvmeson · 4 years ago

Text

emerges frm a field of corn slinking in w a faux mink shrug dangling around my elbows n a strand of wheat between my teeth..... farmer eleganza.... hlo! my name’s nai. i am bt a humble ghoul arrived to haunt ur home. 23 n she/her pronouns n i live in manchester. fun fact my friend’s neighbour used to b harry styles PE teacher. i played delilah yrs ago as carlson young (n even cara delevingne at one point what the fk) which feels so weird n ancient to me nw bt i missed her a lot so decided to spruce her bk to life.... ANYWAY delilah’s pinterest is here n i’ll jst leap right into things without further ado

(NICOLA PELTZ, CIS-FEMALE) - Have you seen DELILAH ASTOR? LILAH is in HER JUNIOR year. The POLITICAL SCIENCE MAJOR is 21 years old & is a CAPRICORN. People say SHE is BEGUILING, BLUNT, CUNNING and APATHETIC. Rumors say they’re a member of CALLOWAY. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE WAS IN A REHABILITATION CENTRE IN SWITZERLAND INSTEAD OF DOING CHARITY WORK LIKE HER SOCIAL MEDIA CLAIMED. (NAI. 23. GMT. SHE/HER.)

HISTORY

their family is kind of modelled off the sedgwick family like old money n pretty dysfunctional bt all abt keeping up a seamless facade of perfection... with a pinch of the kennedy’s in there. her dad’s high up in politics n his dad before tht ws in politics n it’s just a long prestigious line of clones in expensive suits as far as delilah’s concerned. her dad i picture as like.... nate archibald’s grandfather in gossip girl.... personality wise.

for as long as she cn remember she’s found this cookie cutter white picket fence life boring. stifling. to delilah it’s like being hemmed in a stuffy room n forbidden frm opening a window. it’s all vry Rich People Problems i wnt lie bt <3 she feels everlastingly bored. All The Time. plus her family hs always been a focal point fr tabloids etc which doesn’t help this feeling of not rly Living but just being the focus of a spectator sport. they’re lowkey a bit of a household name so they get a bunch of scrutiny n......... well. new bullet point alert! cue a powerpoint transition

(self harm & depression tw) frm being young delilah always knew there ws sort of. a white noise inside her where everyone else saw a technicolour movie screen. it rly hit her at like 12 i’d say as she was jst coasting towards adolescence. it ws pretty obvious frm her behaviour i’d say bt her parents only became Aware it ws a problem when she stuck a fork into a socket n short circuited the power in the house. she got shocked unconscious n when she woke up she told the in house dr they’d called (to keep it under wraps frm outsiders) tht she just.... couldn’t feel anything. she’d been reading frankenstein (she’s always liked gothic literature) n thought it’d zap her to life like the monster

her parents got her on medication n figured that wld fix everything. they didn’t like to talk abt things and that was that. it wasn’t to be mentioned again

delilah’s parents r just very.... sterile. family is abt appearances. they’ll be all smiles n flowing conversation when ppl are around bt it feels like being an actress n reading frm a script. being a toy in a dollhouse

she had two siblings: an older sister named clara & a younger brother named elijah. clara ws always like.... the Dream daughter. did everything right. amazing grades. america’s sweetheart. LOVED by the press. did sm charity work. elijah was fine/kind of a slacker compared bt coasted by on athletic prowess (captain of the rowing team). delilah hs very much always been the anomaly in this idyllic line-up. middle child effect! altho having said tht she’s always ran w the popular crowd of her age group bc Rich + Pretty = Status. it’s all quite superficial n delilah’s attitude on the matter can b summed up w this photoset. having said tht there was Some merit in constantly being paraded around as “such a pretty thing” bc a few modelling agencies attempted to scout her bt delilah found that boring. she wants to b called brilliant not beautiful. her mother called this her “not playing to the advantages that god gave her”. with a tight-lipped smile and a “god forbid i use my brain”, delilah only disappointed her further <3

(drugs & ed tw) delilah gt pretty heavy into partying fr the sake of trying to Feel something. intense on the drugs front (coke n prescription pills). rarely eating. she got a silver broach of a swan tht she pins to most of her clothes n u can unscrew the swan’s neck n pull it out to reveal a little powder spoon. still wears this today. clara n delilah were always super close n clara wld cover fr her a bunch. making up lies n jst having her back to their parents if they ever asked where she was / she ws in trouble n needed to keep it under wraps. when delilah hd an article in a tabloid pretty mch like this one clara talked their parents dwn frm sending her to a rehabilitation centre in switzerland. they gt it pretty much scorched frm existence bt delilah kept a clipping bc honestly she thought it was funny hw pale her mother went abt it

(car accident & drunk driving & death tw) at a fancy benefit the astors were all attending among 4857925974 uppity families delilah wound up heading off w some of the rich kids n one thing lead to another n a couple of them gt arrested fr a coke scandal. delilah used her phone call to contact clara n fr once clara hd let loose a little n hd something to drink bt still drove to the station to bail delilah out n try n fix her mess bt.... skipped a red light n crashed. she died upon impact.

(hospitalisation & drugs & addiction tw) this made delilah spiral massively obviously.... she clung on by the skin of her teeth fr a while bt she rly was just getting quite out of control doing an extremely excessive amt of coke to get by at this point so her parents actually did.... end up shipping her off to switzerland for rehabilitation. they didn’t tell anyone this tho n as far as ppl were/are aware she was doing charity work with habitat for humanity in trinidad. her parents literally........... hired ppl to take photos of things there n a social media team posted them to her instagram account jst. the most elaborate lie.... it’s a lot.

delilah jst pretty much went along w whatever they said at the facility bt didn’t absorb any of it too much.... she did get sober there bt it was vry much bc she had no other choice rather than a want to......... she even pretended to “find god” while she ws there n memorised bible lines to recite w a coolly detached smile. in her head she ws probably thinking abt hw her mandated therapist cld gladly eat shit and she’d be happy to watch. it was just like.... everyone there was RLY hideously overpaid bt did they actually Care abt their work or patients? debatable. wasn’t the most healing experience thru delilah’s eyes bt... maybe it’d work better if she’d actually opened her mind to it bt anyway...... <3 cornelius fudge voice: she’s back. the dark lord.....

PERSONALITY:

nw tht her history is out of the way i’ll leap like a flea off a shaggy dog’s back into personality! aesthetically she almost ALWAYS wears white/cream. reminds me of the woman in white frm sharp objects. rarely she’ll dabble in silver or gold or like..... vry pale green bt.... always muted tones. usually white or cream. big white sunhats. white sunglasses. white pussybow blouses w a little white skirt n a pearl barrette in her hair. she even smokes white sobranie cigs tht r imports like it’s a lot she’s truly committed to the aesthetic.... paired w like. classic patent mary janes.... she tends to flutter around the place like a silk moth. likes lace too. hs a very put together image n even demeanour like she’s very lithe n graceful n drifts like a ghost which kind of contrasts w... who she is at her core bt in the astor family it’s all abt appearances <3 the only deviation from this is she sometimes wears dark blue mascara once in a blue moon n if ppl comment on this she’s like. idk what ur talking abt? glides away like a ghost in a haunted mansion n is never seen again.

very perceptive. incredibly observant. yrs of early life media training n being born frm politicians means she’s an excellent liar. she knows ppl n knows what makes them tick bt she’ll only use this when necessary. she isn’t a terrible person bt she knows how to b Very mean n will equip this as a weapon shd a situation call fr it. also more prone to lashing out since her sister......... she hs sometimes played chess games socially fr kicks

dark n biting sense of humour. rather frank abt things. VERY ruthless when scorned bt she isn’t particularly?? emotive abt it??? her bf cheated on her once n when he told her she slapped him rly hard in front of sm ppl he knew n then jst walked away. blocked him on literally everything. removed him frm the face of the earth as far as she ws concerned. had him blacklisted frm every event n told ppl they’d be cut too if they continued to associate w him. goodbye sir <3 u are the weakest link <3 needless to say he regretted it <3

very loyal to u until she isn’t. finds it very easy to cut ties if need be. once her trust is broken it is gooooone baby goone.... the trust is Gone. selective in who she cares abt

vry cavalier abt sex. she doesn’t sleep around hugely i dnt think??? bt when she does it isn’t often tht emotionally invested she’ll jst out of the blue very nonchalantly blow out a wisp of smoke n b like. so u want to fuck me then? cool. proceeds to get up as if she’s walking to leave n then looks bk n is like what do ur legs not work? follow me. n leads them somewhere

nothing rly.... moves her particularly. she isn’t very animated. it’s like she jst finds the entire world thoroughly unimpressive. it’s difficult to stimulate excitement from her. it’s like that hugh laurie quote where he realised he had depression bc “boredom is not an appropriate response to exploding cars”.

has a pet swan bk at home she’s named lilith inspired by satan’s offspring. lilith bites ppl if they get close n is honestly an abomination of a bird. delilah finds her funny n throws her bits of croissants sometimes bt even she isn’t immune to her pecks. in some ways they’re similar...... hv a graceful surface appearance / aesthetic bt a darker attitude beneath the surface

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

exes: the ex bf tht cheated on her n she got blacklisted from 94872347 social events cld be a fun thing to explore..... delilah wld be EXTREMELY cold towards him n honestly want him dead. wouldn’t show any shred of caring abt him at all she’s very gd at stoning her emotions n keeping them inside. hasn’t cried since her sister died as an example of how..... withdrawn she is from confessing her innermost thoughts n desires. maybe an ex bf before tht that she rly didn’t take seriously at all..... typically she just isn’t interested/invested in romance she’s vry apathetic abt it all

party friends: those tht run in similar rich kid circles tht she would have smuggled off with at fancy events so they could let loose.......... ppl tht r completely her opposite who she finds interesting bc they represent everything she always wanted outside the oppression of her strict regiment family....... mutual bad influences tht are heavy into drugs n always enable each other...... u name it!

hook-ups: she doesn’t have a HUGE amt of these bt.... maybe a select handful.... some she wld have hooked up w once n never again n just been like >_> if they implied they shd as if it was preposterous n she was thoroughly over it.... some maybe she’d find interesting enough to extend beyond tht...... none she’d invest in if she cld help it altho? maybe someone as an exception to tht rule cld be fun

friends of her sister: (death tw) clara was universally well liked for being rly sweet n well intentioned n she attended yates only two yrs delilah’s senior so she might have some connections here still somehow??? cld be angsty to work with

i won’t lie i’m rly hungry as i write up these wcs so my brain’s going blank n i’m gna have to sprint to get some toast bt <3 roommates, enemies, competitive friendships, resentments, angst, chaos, drama, strife, u name it n i am dwn!!!! hits post n takes off galloping dwnstairs

#yatesintro #drugs tw #ed tw #depression tw #death tw #grief tw #car accident tw #drunk driving tw #addiction tw #cowabunga chim chimmeny cheroo it's a tw extravaganza <3 #hmu fr plots go crazy go stupid

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psychicprincesscreation · 5 years ago

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NUANCE

Edit 7 (7/12): I didn't realize I kept breaking the link when I was trying to come up with a good title lol my bad.

Last two titles: "I'm not your bass-slut anymore." (That didn't exactly fit the narrative.)

"Don't fuck your idols. :)"

Since everyone is talking about accountability, let me put it succinctly: I was 22, this was consensual for me, I was a "groupie" who knowingly emotionally cheated on my then-bf with Bassnectar for months, I broke it off & moved out because I expected more from the relationship than I ever got.

As one person on IG stated: I was just a groupie whose fantasy didn't go the way I wanted it to. Lol it's true, but that isn't the whole story.

I know it's easy to focus on how I was "old enough to know better" and the harmful choices that I made, but don't forget that Bassnectar actively pursued me even after finding out about my boyfriend -- I'm sure he wouldn't have had any problem finding a single girl to talk to instead, given his stature.

He offered me concert tickets, plane tickets, money to buy an apartment, he told me to email him as often as possible, he told me to keep everything a secret and to lie to my boyfriend over and over.

He tried to "save" me with controlling advice about eating, sleeping, not partying (ironic, considering that he is a DJ) not pursuing music journalism, not hanging out with any male friends whatsoever, where I "should" work. This was all before we ever met in person.

People don't realize how hard it is to say no to your idols, especially when they are CONSTANTLY offering gifts that I considered very extravagant at my age.

This wasn't a normal affair; I had absolutely nothing to offer Bassnectar but myself, yet he spoke to me like I was a star. He told me we could "go deep" and that he wanted to "mate" with me.

Of course my dumbass young-adult drug-addled mind is going to fall in love with the idea of him.

CONSENT IS NOT DEFINITIVE. I didn't consent to a relationship as two normal people sneaking around. I became a cheating asshole who was misled by a rich & famous liar. I never said what I did was right -- in fact, I made it very clear that I did something wrong, too.

I also said that my story is NOT as bad as the other accusers'. I absolutely do NOT think that I had it worse than anyone else. I think my story is important because it shows that his behavior wasn't limited to people underage.

Hopefully my candor denotes honesty and by admitting my faults in this situation, people can see that Bassnectar's emotional manipulation was real and calculated, and most certainly did not start or end with me.

Side note: Apparently Bassnectar DOES cuddle... I guess he just didn't want to cuddle me that night. Ouch! :)

Edit 6 (7/12): Too many typos to fix so I'm just leaving them now lol. Added detail.

Edit 5 (7/12): Just because I say I'm slutty and I like sluts, doesn't mean every girl/women who was involved with Bassnectar is a slut. I'm just owning that label to change MY narrative for MYSELF. I really don't think there's anything wrong with being slutty -- it's always the rest of the world that has a problem.

I wrote this stream-of-consciousness, so I wanted to mention that sometimes my statements that involve other women may seem brusque, but I'm on the women's side. I mean to convey disdain for the way Bassnectar treated us (as a secret "harem",) rather than jealousy or annoyance toward the women. I hope it comes off that way, but I don't know who is reading this and how some might interpret my words.

Edit 4 (7/10):

Removed names. A story mentioned in this post wasn’t true. Either just a lie (to make someone look bad,) or I don’t remember it properly ‘cause it’s been so long. If it was my fault: my bad.

Edit 3 (7/7):

FIXED SOME TYPOS!

Edit 2 (7/7):

I like sluts. Stop making us feel bad for wanting love *and sex, too.

Another thought: Bassnectar probably pursued a relationship with me because I had a boyfriend. Therefore, I would be more secretive and would have to take some of the responsibility and guilt in this situation, too. And that is true. I do feel guilty about the lying and sneaking. I think that it was inevitable that I would break up with my then-boyfriend, but it really wasn’t Bassnectar’s place to accelerate the break-up by giving me the impression that Bassnectar would be my boyfriend instead. This wasn’t friendly advice given to me by someone older, this was tactical. It makes me wonder if a lot of girls/women don’t want to come forward because they are afraid that the truth will come out about their own affairs?

Don’t be afraid to tell your story because women-hating assholes try to dissect and expose your secrets in an attempt to discredit you! Bassnectar is the one who needs to be exposed for HIS indiscretions -- this is about what HE did wrong. Edit 1 (7/7):

- Bassnectar told me that he was coming to NYC and because we had an online relationship, I thought that he was coming to see me. My friend told me today that Gov Ball 2013 was the same weekend, so I think he may have actually been in NYC for that reason (I don’t think he was scheduled to play on the flyer,) but I was delusional about it. - I removed the screenshot of his phone number from the post because I don’t want to violate any doxx rules. I am still willing to compare this phone number with other women/accusers to corroborate our stories. :) - This is my story told from my perspective. I was an adult and I’m not posting this with the intent of legal action, or revenge (although I do admit that this relationship was devastating and heartbreaking for me.) I just want people to know what kind of person he is. - My story is not as harrowing as some of the other accusers’, but that doesn’t make it invalid. - Even now, reliving everything hurts me and I wish I could say that it was real, but now that I’m older I am wise enough to know that it was all lies. - I stand with the women who Bassnectar has hurt in similar, or worse, ways.

----

My relationship was short-lived, but it was so eventful for me that I remember it clearly. I'm mentioning many minuscule details because I think that could help prove the validity of other victims' stories.

Writing in bullet points because it's easier for me to sort through the memories. I'm calling him Bassnectar because the "Lorin" I was talking to is someone that I feel hurt and appalled by now.

• I don't have social media/email screenshots because I deactivated my Facebook and Twitter years ago. Bassnectar asked me specifically to delete our emails because his "girlfriend had caught him" and asked me to get rid of the evidence because she was "demolished." (I will go into a bit more detail about that later on.) • I don’t have a “smoking gun” that skeptics are looking for, but that’s what happens when someone asks you to keep everything a secret and delete everything that shows you were communicating.

----

• This happened in 2013 over many months, plus Bassnectar texted me a few times about once a year after our "relationship" ended. • I was 22 at the time. I'm from NYC and frequently went to clubs, shows, events, and festivals with my then-boyfriend (who I lived with) & the same group of friends. • Bassnectar was one of our favorite artists and we'd seen him perform several times in several states. • My friends had a private Facebook group where we'd tell each other about shows and make arrangements to travel/meet up/stay over each other's places. • I was very interested in music journalism at the time and occasionally wrote show reviews for my friend's online music magazine. • I actively used Twitter. I basically tweeted at every DJ we liked, and always posted reply screenshots in our private Facebook group to share with my friends. • Things became complicated with my then-boyfriend, but we still lived together. We had recently gotten back together around the first time Bassnectar DM'd me on Twitter.

• Bassnectar responded to a Twitter pic I posted of our mini-fridge with a Bassnectar logo sticker and said that he "liked my fridge" or something. • I screenshotted this and posted it in my group because he was the biggest artist who had responded to me at that point. • I thought I could use this as an opportunity to interview him for my friend's mag. • After I already posted the screenshot in my group and had responded to his DM, he sent another message asking me not to screenshot him because he "hates that." • I deleted the screenshot from the friend Facebook group. I stopped screenshotting and sharing our conversations with my FB group immediately after he asked. • I continued to chat with Bassnectar via Twitter and said that I was a big fan of his merch and that I bought several things at all the shows I've attended. • I asked to interview him at some point in the conversation, and he skirted over the request. • Instead, he gave me his email (bassnectar2012) and asked me to send him merchandise ideas. • I slapped together a few simple, quick ideas on Photoshop or something and sent them to him.

(I don’t know how to embed a picture on Tumblr lol -- will update.) • You can see that the image I sent is no big deal, and all the files were similar, but he responded as if they were the greatest things he had ever seen. He definitely made me feel special and talented. • We emailed regularly and relatively frequently for days. • Emails are exchanged back-and-forth and eventually I asked to interview him again and he agreed. • I gave him my number and he called me. My then-boyfriend was aware that I was in contact with Bassnectar, with my original intention of interviewing him. • My then-bf was in the room when Bassnectar called me for the first time. • Bassnectar didn't want to be interviewed; he wanted to get to know me. I agreed to just chat at first. • He told me not to call him Bassnectar because that was his "band" and that I should call him Lorin. • At some point he asked if I had a boyfriend and I told him no, even though things were complicated with my then-bf and we were technically together. > I know I'm going to be chastised for doing this, but I've learned years ago that I made a bad choice. Honestly, I still wanted an interview, and I am well-known for leading with my sexuality. This is when I started becoming deceitful with my then-partner. Simply put, I was just more enticed by the idea of advancing my career, and eventually the allure of potentially being Bassnectar's girlfriend, so lying seemed best. Just because I’m flawed, too, doesn’t mean Bassnectar did nothing wrong.

• My then-bf confronted me about not saying that we were together. I felt guilty and the next time I spoke to Bassnectar, I confessed that I was back together with my then-boyfriend and I wasn't single. (I don't remember if it was via text or voice call.) • Bassnectar was upset that I lied, but continued to talk to me nonetheless through text and email.

• He made me feel like my writing was profound and touching, and that we were falling in love. • He would tell me that he wanted to "bring me the sun," or "get me a puppy." He said things that were romantic and poetic and I felt heartened to respond to what I thought was love. • He said he had $10,000 in his mattress and he wanted to get me an apartment in NYC, so I didn't have to live with my then-bf anymore. • He would text me before and sometimes immediately after he played shows then say he was going to sleep by like 12am (typically.) It was easy to keep up with where he was playing via social media. • He offered to fly me to his show in Red Rocks so I could attend. (I didn't accept.)

• He called me from time-to-time and told me not to tell my then-bf who I was speaking to. • One day he had me call a different phone number, which he said was his "home phone." • He told me a story about a beautiful girl named (removed)? Who he had a falling out with because she mentioned that Bassnectar told her that he didn't like Steve Aoki. (I don't remember that story in detail -- I think he was telling me so I wouldn't tell other people when he talked about other artists.) > Edit (7/10): This person messaged me to say that’s not what actually what happened between them. • One day I was speaking to Bassnectar on the phone and didn't answer when my then-bf called on his way home from college classes (I always answered right away.) He asked who I was speaking to and I admitted "Lorin."

• When I called Bassnectar back, he became annoyed that I told the truth and said that I should tell my then-bf that I meant my girlfriend Lauren instead. • I began to sneak around more, lie more often about who I was speaking to on the phone, and texted or emailed Bassnectar almost every single day. • He said we should skip Camp Bisco 2013 and just spend time together. (Obviously anyone who attended Camp Bisco knows that didn't actually happen lol.) • He was flirtatious, charming, and always offered me tickets to events, or sometimes to fly me to where he was. I didn't accept any of this then.

• He told me that I shouldn't do any drugs, not even smoke weed. All of my friends were casually experimenting back then, and I was equally as candid as I am now about everything I did. He told me not to do drugs at his shows, or any shows, and especially not around guy friends. • Me and my friends traveled to see a show in Philly and stayed with friends. When I texted saying I was mostly with guys (my friend group was mostly guys at the time,) he asked if I "felt safe" and offered to get me a hotel. I thought it was unusual because I always felt very protected by my male friends. • He told me that I shouldn't hang out with guy friends, or have guy friends at all. • He told me that guy friends all wanted to sleep with me and I didn't realize it. • He told me I should eat healthier and exercise regularly -- it was very weird and controlling. He just didn’t want me to be myself. • He told me that he had a girlfriend who had two abortions. I think because we were talking about relationships? • He told me that he grew up in a hippie commune and was Christian and he questioned his priest and that his mom was a poet laureate. It just seemed like he wanted me to get to know him at the time. • He told me I was co-dependent with my boyfriend and that I needed to become independent and move out. • He told me I should make lists of my life goals as an independent person and email it to him. • He told me not to tell anyone about us talking. I told all of my girl friends, but it was a "girl code" situation and none of the guys or my then-bf knew what was going on. • We talked A LOT and often, but all of this only happened in a matter of months.

• Time passes and our emotional affair eventually becomes physically intimate when he says that he is going to fly to NYC. This is JUNE 2013! He played at Electric Zoo 2013, but that wasn't until Labor Day, so I'm not sure why he really needed to go to NYC, but it definitely wasn't for a show because me and my friends would have been there. > NOTE (7/7): My friend read this and mentioned that Gov Ball 2013 was the weekend before, so there is a good chance that Bassnectar was already in NYC for some reason and didn't actually come to see me personally like I was led to believe. lol.

• He alleged that he would see me again around Labor Day when he came back for EZoo, too.

• I am from Staten Island, and wasn't totally familiar with Manhattan's layout at the time, but I think that the hotel he was staying at was in Midtown. It's been 7 years since this happened, but I tried my damnedest today to figure out exactly which hotel it was -- there are soo many in that area alone. • If Bassnectar says any of this isn't true, then he's lying because there will definitely be a plane ticket or something with his name on it to NYC in JUNE 2013. > NOTE (7/7): I thought he was there to see me specifically, so the dates he told me was staying in NYC are probably not 100% accurate, but there is definitely some proof somewhere on his end that he came to NYC for whatever reason. The lies he told me are just coverup to make me lose credibility if this ever came out.

• He said he had a hotel for three days. I think it was a Mon-Wed? I took off work those days so I could see him everyday that he said he would be in NYC. If he has no record of checking into a hotel around the time I'm citing, then his manager probably did it for him. I believe his name is Carlos. (I'm going by the memory of what Bassnectar told me.)

• Bassnectar met me in person at the Staten Island Ferry (Manhattan side) and we walked to Battery Park and sat on a bench and talked. • I felt extremely shy and awkward because I knew that by meeting up in-person, I had given up with my now-ex. The whole thing was conflicting and unfair to so many people, but it was too late now. • Bassnectar frequently complimented me in person. He said things like, he was dying to smell my neck, that he loved my wrists because they were delicate like a bird's frame. • He said that he felt self-conscious that he would be recognized because he's used to being recognized in crowds. • He would pet and caress me, but didn't try to kiss me in public. • He told me that he got his hair washed at a hair salon and he gave the hair dresser a ($50 or $100?) tip and looked in the window to see her reaction and she was crying because she was so happy. • He convinced me to go back to his hotel. We took a cab there. It didn't take that long, which is why I'm convinced it was Midtown. He never told me which hotel it was, but I didn't realize it was actually because he didn't want a trail back to him. I guess it worked.

(I'm about to get very detailed about my memories, so trigger warning for making people feel uncomfortable.)

• When we got to his hotel, he became physical with me very quickly, but he said he wouldn't kiss me first. That I had to do it first. So I did. • It progressed into kissing, cuddling, him touching me all over in bed with our clothes on. He dirty-talked a lot. I also remember that he moaned and grunted a lot, and I wasn't used to any of that. • At one point, I untied his hair and let it down and he joked that I was making sure he was really Bassnectar and not his assistant that I was meeting. • He told me about his go-go dancer friend who had fake boobs. I can't remember why. • I remember him kissing me against the wall, and he said something like, I want to fuck you against the wall and hold you up with only my dick. It was way too specific to forget. (It didn't happen, though.) • We inevitably had full-on sex after the on/off touching/kissing/talking. • He said he didn't want to wear a condom at first, but he thought he should. We did, but it felt like a test to see what I would say. • I remember that he wanted me to have an orgasm, and I instructed him which position worked best for me. • He orgasmed by having sex with me from behind and asked me to look back at him. I remember him draping his long hair over my back. How could I forget that? -_- • One of my girl friends texted me ("How are you plants doing?" was our code phrase) to check in and make sure I was okay because she knew where I was. It was monumental for me, so I told her it was great. • I sat on his lap while he looked at his laptop. • We had these deep conversations about life, and love, and the future and it seemed so real to me at the time. • I remember that I told him I was unsure if we could be boyfriend/girlfriend because he was so much older than me (I think he was 35 at the time?) • He told me about about a girl he loved named X who was also around my age. I didn't think it was that weird because I was convinced he still really liked me best, but he probably had so many "Xs" and I was just another one. • At some point, he commented on Facebook (or Twitter?) in response to someone saying he was Illuminati. Honestly, it was like we were two people hanging out because of how normal everything felt after the sexual tension was gone.

• I remember having dinner with him at the restaurant across the street and talking about wanting to be a writer and he said I CAN'T WRITE ABOUT HIM EVER. (So it wasn't normal after all.)

• I remember, back at the hotel, he asked me perverted questions like, can you show me how you make yourself orgasm? He asked me to just demonstrate on his hand so he knew what to do next time. • I don't remember much more because I wasn't planning to stay. • My other girl friend had a job interview that day and we decided to meet at the ferry to take it home together. • On my way out, he walked me to the elevator and he gave me $50 to take a cab to the ferry and to use for a cab when I came back to see him tomorrow. (For my fellow New Yorkers who doubt this story, no, that wasn't enough fare for both trips, so the amount is definitely the truth lol.)

• I went to see Bassnectar again the next day. When I asked him for the hotel address or name, he wouldn't give it to me directly. He said it was because of people stalking him or something. I don't fucking know but it was obvious confusing bullshit and I think he gave me an address that was about a block away. I think he even said he would tell the cab driver the address over the phone. There was a lot of runaround to avoid saying the exact address. (Now the reason why seems obvious.) • My details are a bit fuzzy at this point because I remember meeting him outside the hotel and going up together, but I forget why we met outside and why we were both confused about which street the other person was standing on. • We went up to the hotel room, he worked on music on his laptop, while I sat on his lap and read Trainspotting on my Kindle. • He let me listen to what he was working on, but I don't remember it. I just remember that he was working with female vocals. • He told me he had to meet his guy friend in Williamsburg because his friend was making him lobster. Looking back, it was probably another girl.

• I asked to stay because I wanted to spend more time with him. I texted my now-ex-bf (who I still lived with) that I was staying with my friend. • Bassnectar said that normally he would say no, but for some reason he agreed and left me in the room with the room key and all his stuff. He either really trusted me, or really trusted how much control he had over me to leave me with his laptop. • I left at one point to get pizza, and came back. I watched TV, but couldn't sleep. He got back some hours later and he was drunk off wine, but I just wanted to cuddle and sleep. • He jokingly thanked me for not stealing his things. • Apparently Bassnectar DOESN'T cuddle and made that a point, but he did sleep in bed with me for a bit, before moving to the other bed in the middle of the night. (There were two beds in this hotel room.) • For anyone else who had sleepovers with Bassnectar, you know that he sleeps with his own fans for the white noise. So we slept in separate beds with his own personal fans on. It was all very bizarre. • We didn't have sex this day at all.

• The next morning I went to Duane Reade while he was still sleeping so I could get toiletries and shower since the sleepover was impromptu. • He had a meeting with someone (manager?) who was supposedly coming to stay in the room later that evening? (It was probably another girl though? idk)

• When he got back, he made me go over the list of accomplishments and goals he asked me to email to him. • He told me that I shouldn't be worried about finding someone to be in love with and it should be a lower priority on my list. • He told me that I should get a job at a restaurant or American Apparel or something and get a shitty starter apartment with only girls. • He said that finding an apartment that was pet-friendly shouldn't be a priority at all. I had a pet cat so if I moved out, that meant I would have to leave my cat behind, but that didn't matter to him. • He told me that if I wanted a serious boyfriend, I shouldn't let him see my legs or have sex with him for a long time. • When he finished life-coaching me, we watched a movie together. • He chose Spring Breakers because he was supposedly asked to do the musical score for it and turned it down (that's what he told me.) • At one point in the movie, Vanessa Hudgens jokingly gestures to her friends that she's giving a blowjob, and Bassnectar said he "didn't understand why girls sucked dick." • We had sex once more, more quickly than the first time and with much less romance. I can't remember much because I just remember feeling sad about leaving soon and like he was blowing me off suddenly. • We took a shower together after.

• I packed up my stuff and before I left he gave me $1000 in cash without warning and told me I could use it to help put a down payment for an apartment or something, but I should pay him back because it would be "good for me." > Looking back, when he left for a short while that morning, it was probably to take out cash to give me when I left. • He didn't walk me to the elevator this time and he sat on his laptop while I left feeling very cheap, stupid, and crushed.

• Time passes and we talk less and less. I'm heartbroken, but still make moves to find a job and move out of my ex's ASAP. • I email Bassnectar a diatribe saying I'm feeling hurt and abandoned. I say that I felt betrayed that he made me think we were essentially going to be together after I left my boyfriend and it turned out to be all lies. • I'm having lunch with friends when he calls me and is angry saying that he told me what I should do to make my life better and that he can't just give me a job or do anything for me and that I need to do things for myself. • My friends walk over to the car where I'm on the phone and when I say I'm ready to go, he asks who I'm speaking to and I say, "my friends." • He yells at me and asks why I'm talking to him on the phone when my friends are around (he asked if he could call and I said it was okay, I didn't know we were supposed to be alone.) I tell him I will call him back. • I text him and ask to call back and his mood flipped and he's suddenly super kind and apologetic and tells me he just wants me to be independent. He reminds me that I'M the one who told HIM that he was too old for me and we can't be boyfriend and girlfriend. • I am heartbroken all over again, but I move on with my life and move out within the next month or so.

> I actually did get a waitressing job as per his suggestion and saved money from that + the grocery store I already worked at and moved to BK by August 2013. I didn't use the money he gave me at first because I thought it was a reason for us to see each other again, and I was afraid to spend it in case I couldn't earn enough to pay him back by the time I saw him. (I never saw him again, though.) > In case you're wondering, I did spend it eventually when I started to resent him for blowing me off.

• I speak to Bassnectar very rarely, and only via text. He doesn't call anymore, even when I ask. • One day while I'm at work, he sends me a video of a beach he's supposedly vacationing at. • When we DO speak, he asks for nudes, usually. • When I send them, he says he feels guilty since “he has a girlfriend” and that we should stop. • Contact is so infrequent, when we catch up about my life, he gets annoyed if I mention I'm seeing any guys, but I never think he really cares because he stopped caring about me a long time ago. (If he ever did at all.)

• I still tried for months to maintain any kind of relationship with him because I truly thought we had something special, but he was always too busy for me. It fucking sucked because he was always in the back of my mind now that I was *~independent~* like he said he wanted me to be so many times.

• One random day when I was too busy to chat with him, I remember he actually DID call me because he said he lost a sound file and wanted me to record myself saying "I really like it." A few times to use on a track. I guess I took too long to get back bc 15 mins later, he texted to say he got it from someone else. I couldn't do it anyway because I was dealing with some other personal stuff. I forgot about it soon after. • I didn't listen to the album NSVB for a long time after it came out bc I was still hurt, but when I did.... I heard that fucking sound bite in whatever song it's on (I really don't care to know) and it fucked me up. • I was conflicted thinking, shit, did I blow my last chance for "us" ? I was still hung up on this asshole as if he were just some ex because of that emotional manipulation. • Would that have solidified what we supposedly had? Or would that have just been another way he used me? I began to resent him.

• Fast forward a few months and I'm drunk with my girl friend at home and text Bassnectar for the lols. I say that I should ask him for tickets to BASSLIGHTS 2013 in VA to make up for him being such an asshole. • Surprisingly he agrees on the condition that I only go with girl friends, don't do any drugs, and say that the Tix are left for me because I interviewed him. (Don't forget that no interview ever happened!)

• Before Basslights, he texts me and even asks me what songs he should play and I don't realize he's just stringing me along. Presumably it was just another plot to hook up. • Before we leave for VA, my friend who is driving admits that one of her OTHER friends secretly knows Bassnectar so we might be able to get into some party or backstage. Sooooo I guess she was another one of his "harem" that he was having a secret relationship with. (I don't mean anything negative towards that girl/woman, just that Bassnectar probably saw us this way and was playing *at least* the two of us at this time.) • My friends and I drive from NYC to VA and miss Bassnectar's set the first night because we arrived late, but the Tix were waiting for me at the box office. • If you get Bassnectar's guest list for Basslights 2013, my real name is on there. I'm sure a lot of other girls he manipulated are on there, too. • Bassnectar texts me and asks what I think of the show and I say I missed it. • He says he was thinking of me a lot during the show. • He texts me saying I should let him "vroom vroom in my girl power." Obviously he's alluding to sex, and I show the text to the friend who was at my place when I asked him for the Tix. He won't send a cab to get me at my hotel when I say sure, though, because he "has a girlfriend" again and he would feel bad. Maybe he was annoyed that I missed his set, maybe he picked someone else, maybe he actually was with his gf? Whatever. • I told him I didn't feel comfortable texting like that anymore because he said he had a gf. • He tells me I'm a good person.

• I am so hurt that I don't answer his texts at all anymore. • We go to Basslights night 2 and I get suuuuper fucked up with my friends (because fuck him) and have an awesome time and disassociate Bassnectar from his controlling bullshit. • I ignore him all the way back to NYC and just text to say I'm home. • He sends me an URGENT text saying that his gf suddenly found out about his gross infidelity and begs me to please delete all of our emails and texts. • I'm stupid and kind and fucking over him so I do it. He knew I would because he knew I was too nice of a person not to. • Bye bye evidence, though. :( I regret deleting those emails even now because I knew this misconduct shit would come out eventually with him.

• LOTS OF TIME PASSES. Now and again, Bassnectar would text me just to say what's up and I'd barely respond. This only happened approximately once a year. • I'm pretty sure this was just to make sure he was on my good side and there wasn't a chance that I was going to expose him. • I think the last time he texted me first was all the way back in 2016.

• The last few times we spoke were when he had a cancer scare and I texted to say sorry. • When I went to Moonrise Festival, I asked if we could meet and he blew me off. It's been so long, I didn't really expect him to say yes, but it was worth a try. • When me and my friends went to Electric Zoo and he closed, I texted him saying that we couldn't hear well from where we stood and left early. I think he was offended because he replied saying that no one else complained. • The last time I spoke to him, I knew he was playing at an event near me and asked for tickets again so I could see him and he said he would be with his girlfriend. It was a one-off thing and I thought it was worth the try. •There were no cordial conversations in-between the times I contacted him at all. Just me being lonely and single and still hanging on to this idyllic version of him that never fucking existed in the first place.

• I'm much older now and I know that a lot of this happened because of choices I made, but I was 22, starstruck, in a confusing relationship, partying, and desperate for an ethereal love that I sought in that music scene.

• I bet Bassnectar specifically targeted girls like me because (at least in my case) I was depressed, pumped full of mind-altering chemicals, pretty, and lonely. He acted like I was a unique, artistic, lost soul and he made me believe that he was the only one who could save me.

• At 22, you don't realize that a man 13+ years older than you shouldn't be asking you to keep your conversations a secret from everyone, asking you for nudes, asking you to lie to/break up with your boyfriend, inviting you to hotels, offering you gifts, and straight up giving you cash that you didn't ask for.

• But that man DEFINITELY knows he's doing something wrong, otherwise he wouldn't be sharing that hush money with you, or asking you to hide and delete everything.

• Because he would text me once in a while saying something like, "You cross my mind all the time," it would be enough for me to hang on to this hope that *maybe* there was still a chance. I couldn't see that it was just another manipulation tactic that worked well on me because I was still feeling the effect of the emotional annihilation from so long ago. :(

• I loathe how he made me feel for so long and it breaks my heart to know that there are so many other girls who were taken advantage of in worse ways by this egotistical LIAR in his position of power. Seriously, Bassnectar, fuck you.

ALSO: not sure if this was his burner phone or what, but here are the last two digits of the # he always contacted me with (sent in the DM). If any other victims want to corroborate by comparing numbers... Let me know.

(I REMOVED THE SCREENSHOT OF THE PHONE NUMBER IN CASE IT VIOLATES ANY DOX RULES, BUT I CAN SEND IT TO YOU DIRECTLY IF YOU ARE CONTACT WITH ME!) :)

---

#eab #bassnectar #metoo

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bensboynton · 6 years ago

Text

Good Enough b.h; Part 5

SDLFJNL y’all about to be SHOOK by this chapter. i know i was writing it.

feedback is greatly appreciated!

link to my masterlist where you can find parts 1-4 is in my blog description

word count: 3.3k (short but VERY SWEET)

swearing: swearing, angst, a lil fluff, brief mentions of alcohol in the beginning, illusions to sex, unedited

It’s been three weeks.

Three weeks since you last got drunk with Lucy. Three weeks since you’ve even touched alcohol. And three weeks since you’ve talked with Ben.

And by “talked” you mean interact with him for longer than four seconds at a time. Ben was cold, distant, harsh. Never looked at you longer than he had to. Hasn’t answered a single text message or returned any one of your calls in, yes, you guessed it, three weeks.

It was so unbelievably fucking confusing! At one point, Ben felt like the only person in your vicinity who understood you. Who understood what you were going through. And now he won’t even look you in the eyes.

Yeah, maybe you shouldn’t have asked him to stay with you in your trailer that night. Maybe you should have let him go. And the longer you and Ben go without talking, the more you regret it.

And the more you regret making that phone call.

Your life was following the same monotonous schedule. Get up, go to set, film for however long you’re needed, insist that you’re just not that hungry every time Joe asks why you never eat dinner with them anymore, and go to sleep. Well, at least lay in bed.

You would sit in the dark for hours trying to remember what you said. Even just a tiny piece, but nothing came to mind. You blacked out, and you would never get those memories back. It would make your heart race and guilt course through your veins every time you thought about the call. It must’ve been bad enough to make Ben hate you. And that, in turn, made you hate yourself.

As time passes, you find yourself receding farther and farther into yourself. You’re getting even less sleep (if that’s even possible) and find yourself waking up with little to no motivation anymore.

You were even starting to regret taking this part.

And you hated how much you were being affected by this stupid blonde who was a two years older than you and also one of the best-looking people you’ve ever met. You hated how he made you feel. Yet you craved it. And it was unhealthy.

These were the thoughts that raced through your head on this oddly humid London night. The weatherman had been talking in your ear for the past week about a large rainstorm, practically a monsoon, hitting London on Friday night.

And for once, the meteorologist was right.

The rain was slamming into the sides of your trailer, and you were praying to God the wind wouldn’t throw your mini-house on its side. Even though deep down you knew it wouldn’t, your anxiety still made your stomach churn slightly at the thought.

You wondered what Ben was doing. Was he awake too? Did he get another girlfriend? Is that why he had been distant? Does he ever think about you? What did you say on that damn phone call?

And you suddenly had a crazy, insane, and stupid idea.

What if you showed up at his door right now? In the middle of the storm?

You practically leaped out of bed, throwing on the nearest cardigan and a random pair of shoes from the floor of your messy trailer. About to open the door, you hesitated, chewing your bottom lip nervously. What if you got hurt? What if you fell?

But at this point, you were a shell. Hollow. It wouldn’t matter much, anyway.

You knew how fucking insane this was, how crazy and stupid you’d be to actually walk through this massive storm to his trailer. But you didn’t seem to care. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered to you.

It was like every tear, every emotion that you had been trying to conceal and push down into the depths of your stomach can rushing out with urgency. And it rushed out in the form of partial insanity.

You threw open the door to your trailer, plunging yourself into the freezing cold rain and almost immediately being completely covered in water. You put your arm in front of your face to shield your eyes, and you began pushing through.

The visibility for you through the intense rain was low, but you knew the situation of the trailers like the back of your hand. You started making your way to Ben’s, slowly but surely.

You tried to pull your cardigan tighter against your body, but it was no use, as it was already completely soaked in rain. Your hair was wet, whipping wildly around your head in the wind.

You could almost laugh at how your inner turmoil felt like it had seeped out of your mind and was somehow created in real life, in the form of a storm. This was a new sensation: rain violently dancing around you like a hurricane. But it felt all too familiar, as this is how your stomach had felt every time you thought about Ben.

After what seemed like an eternity, Ben’s trailer came into sight. You used the railing near the wooden steps leading to his door to pull yourself up, before knocking on his door.

You knocked twice, and then paused for a moment before knocking again. You weren’t sure if he even heard your pounds at the door, as the storm was so loud. You were about to hit the door again when it swung open, to reveal a slightly disheveled Ben. His eyes were squinted shut for a moment, before they shot open at the sight of you on his doorstep, shivering and covered from head to toe in rainwater.

Without a second thought, Ben grabbed you and pulled you inside, slamming the door shut behind you.

“Y/N? What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing?” Ben asked, anger and confusion piercing through his words.

“I-I was-” you began to say before Ben cut you off.

“Are you fucking crazy? You could’ve died! What if you had fallen and couldn’t make it back to your trailer? What if something that the wind had picked up hit you in the head?” Ben continued, his voice getting louder.

You were slightly entranced at his voice, as it had been three weeks since he’s said more than three words to you. Guess this was bad timing to be enchanted by him.

Ben turned away from you, his muscular back a few feet away from you as he ran his hands over his face, exhaling loudly.

“I-I’m s-so-sorry B-Ben,” you spoke, your jaw moving in tune with the rest of your shivering body. Ben whipped around to look back at you, his face softening immediately. He noticed how you were clutching yourself so tight your knuckles were white.

“Here, let me get you some dry clothes, love.”

Ben’s voice was soft and compassionate, a complete 180 from the way it was a moment ago. Ben grabbed a sweatshirt and sweatpants of his, helping you walk to the bathroom in his trailer before leaving you to change. He had also given you a towel to dry your hair with and wipe your makeup off, as it had unfortunately smeared all over your face.

When you were finally cleaned up, you went out into the main part of the trailer to see Ben waiting with a cup of tea for you. You gratefully accepted, drinking it rather fast as you stared at him from across the tiny kitchenette.

It was silent. It wasn’t awkward or comfortable. It was just… quiet. The only sound that was heard was the rain slamming into the side of Ben’s trailer, similar to how it sounded at your own.

“I’m sorry for barging in on you and showing up unannounced so late it’s just…” you trailed off, looking down at your feet on the tile floor of the kitchenette.

“It’s just… what?” Ben asked, his voice tiny and small.

You took a deep breath, tears already forming in your voice as you looked back up at Ben. His face was solemn, and you first noticed a few dark bags that were slightly pulling the light out of his eyes.

“I’ve been driving myself insane for the past few weeks. And I know whatever I said on that dumb phone call was bad, must’ve been horrible for you to despise me as much as you do,” you spoke into the silence, Ben staring at you intently.

The space between the two of you was getting more noticeable. He was leaned against the counter, sipping ever so slightly on the mug of tea in his hands. You were standing awkwardly in front of the wall at the opposite end of the kitchen. If you were any further away from each other, you’d probably have to yell to hear.

It was ironic, really. The last time you were in a trailer with Ben, he was holding you so tight in his arms you almost couldn’t breathe. And now? It was like you were standing in a trailer with someone you had never met before.

“I’m sorry, for whatever I said. I’ve been trying to remember for three weeks and I just don’t. But I miss you, Ben. And I hate how weak that makes me sound. Because I’ve told myself for years that I don’t need anyone. But I do. Especially now. Especially you.”

Ben looked away from you finally, looking down into the mug of his tea, his gaze now not even near you. You felt the tears already welling up in your eyes as you stood in this mini kitchen with him.

“I’m so worried that we’re going to finish this movie, and I’m going to walk away, go back home to LA and never find someone who makes me feel the way I do when I’m around you.”

Still, Ben hasn’t raised his gaze from the mug of tea in his hands.

“You know, I’ve never been able to write songs about something happy. Every single song I write comes from a place of sadness. It might have a catchy chorus or really strong beat. But every song was written from a place of pain. Until I met you.” This statement grabbed Ben’s attention, bringing his strong gaze back to you.

“I wrote my first happy love song a week after I broke up with Y/BF/N. And I recorded it in my voice memos the day after I wrote it, not even noticing how the man in the story was a spitting image of you. When I crafted him in my head, I had you in mind,” you took a shaky deep breath in as a tear escapes your right eye, “a-and I think this means that I’m falling in love with you.”

Ben kept a stone cold look on his features for a few moments, and your stomach twisted into pretzels waiting for what he wanted to say.

Then he started laughing.

He was doubled over in loud, uncontrollable laughter. You couldn’t help the disbelief, embarrassment, and anger that was coursing through your veins. You had just laid your heart out on a silver platter, and he’s laughing.

“I’m sorry!” Ben spoke between laughs. You thought about stripping off Ben’s godforsaken clothes and walking to your trailer in just your underwear.

After he finally calmed down, he bit his lip and looked as if he was trying to hold back tears os his own. He leaned forward slightly and taking a few steps in your direction. “If it makes you feel any better, you weren’t mean to me on the phone call.”

You gave him a look, hoping he would understand that you wanted to know what you did say, and he must’ve understood.

“You actually confessed your love for me on the phone, an awful lot like what you just did. Except, you were slurring your words and it was hard to make sense of what you were saying.”

You rolled your eyes at Ben’s arrogance and sarcasm at this point in time. You were so annoyed and angry you could have punched him in the throat and walked out.

“I’ve had a lot of time to mull that over in my head, and I’m going to be honest. I haven’t slept very much these past few weeks. And I can assume you haven’t either?” Ben assumed, causing you to be offended for a few seconds before remembering how visible your under eye bags were without makeup.

“So you’re the one that’s been losing sleep over this? You? Unbelievable, Ben,” you snarled, your voice filled with defensive anger. How dare he stand here and pretend like he was the one who was hurt, like he was the one who was losing sleep over this.

“Yeah, actually! I have been.” Ben responded, mirroring your fury.

“Really? Why? How?” your voice was getting louder, the tears in your eyes starting to evaporate from your eyes because of the red-hot anger pouring out of you.

“Because,” Ben spoke, his voice suddenly losing it’s gusto and becoming small, “because when I asked you if you meant it, you said no.”

Ben’s voice was weak, tiny, and sounded as if it would collapse if he spoke another word. His eyes danced over your face, limp with shock. He grinned sadly, the anger dissipating from the room in two seconds flat.

“I thought you lied, said you didn’t actually remember because you regretted what you said. So I backed off, I gave you your space. Even if I didn’t want to.”

“Drunk words are sober thoughts, Ben,” you murmured lightly, causing a microscopic grin to break out on Ben’s face.

“When you were talking on the phone, I was frozen. I didn’t know what to say because I had so much to say,” Ben paused for a second before looking back into your eyes, “you sat there and rambled on and on about how you weren’t okay, how nobody loves you, how you’re always the one getting hurt, and I swear to God I thought my heart was breaking in my chest.”

“Because, Y/N, you deserve the world.You are the most talented singer I have ever heard, the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, and one of the funniest people I’ve ever met. You deserve someone who treats you right, who won’t hurt you, who’ll make you feel special, cherished, and loved every goddamn minute of your life.”

Ben took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself down a little bit.

“And I’m so sorry that you’ve had to deal with shitty guys who treat you anything less than what you deserve, because no one should ever have to go through that pain. No one should ever have to feel heartbreak,” Ben walked towards you, grabbing your hands and putting them on his chest, “I wish I could take that all pain away for you. Because your life is far too beautiful to be dragged down by the dumbass mistakes of even dumber guys.”

You hadn’t noticed you had been crying until Ben reached up to wipe the tears away from your cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.

“And, I think I love you too,” Ben whispered, his voice barely audible over the intense rain.

Your heart about fell out of your ass. He loves you too. You did the only thing you could do, the only rational thing in your extremely irrational brain.

You pulled his face to yours and kissed him.

It was everything you had been expecting and more. His lips were soft, tasting lightly of a mint chapstick you had seen him using before. And he was damn good at it, too.

His mouth moulded perfectly against yours, both of your lips moving in perfect symphony. His tongue brushed against your bottom lip, begging permission to deepen the kiss he had been waiting way too long for.

You almost moaned into his mouth at the feeling. His hands were roaming your body, and your hands were running marathons through his curly locks. You could’ve stayed like this forever.

A loud thunder from the heights of the sky rattled through the trailer so loud you felt it vibrate in your chest. You jumped, accidentally breaking the kiss. Ben gazed at you fondly for a moment, before letting out a tiny laugh and pulling you into a tight hug. “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you,” Ben spoke in a deeper voice than normal. You stuck you bottom lip out and playfully slapped him on the chest.

“Way to ruin the mood, dickwad.”

“What mood?”

“Oh, I don’t know, me walking through a rainstorm to get to your house and confess my love for you, for the second time, and then ending in us getting in a slight fight and making out in the middle of your kitchen.” Ben giggled lightly at your response, walking away and grabbing a red apple from its place on the counter. He bit into it aggressively, meeting your eyes again.

Through his loud chewing, he managed to get out, “A story for the kids.” He winked and walked into the small area where his bed was located. You clung onto his words slightly as you heard him collapse onto his bed.

“Are you going to join me or just stand in the kitchen all night?” Ben bellowed sarcastically from his place under the covers. You swore under your breath as you clambered over the bed, practically throwing yourself under the warm covers and into his arms.

Ben had turned the TV on, but neither of you were watching it. You knew you were thinking about what the future held, if your relationship would go anywhere. And about that damn kiss.

You really, really, wanted to do that again.

In your deep thought, you didn’t notice Ben’s heart racing in his chest. When you finally noticed the loud thumping in your ear, you angled your head slightly to look up at him. He gazed back at you smiling slightly. “Your heart is beating really fast.”

You could’ve swore you saw him blush. A quick glance behind his slightly cocky facade, “Damn, you caught me.”

You laughed lightly and rolled off of him, your head resting close to his.

“Should probably check your heartbeat…” Ben trailed off, moving his hand to lay on your right boob.

“Ben!” you exclaimed, laughing wildly as you pushed his hand off of your chest. He laughed and pulled you on top of him, your laughs and the now calm pitter patter of the rain outside. You were straddling him as you leaned down and pinned his hands to the side, trying to stop him from grabbing at you.

He gave up and just looked up at you, your hair ruffled, no makeup, breathing slightly labored due to you trying to fight a 200 pound man child. He admired you for a few moments, the TV buzzing quietly in the background.

“Kiss me.” you whispered, your face impossibly close to his.

“If you insist.” he murmured, pulling your face down to meet his. And if you thought it couldn’t get any better.

This kiss was slower, less urgent. It was sweet like chocolate, and it was warm and cozy. It made you want to curl up in his chest and make a home. The homeliness of this kiss didn’t last long, before his hands were wandering to your nether regions and yours were doing the same.

You moaned lightly into his mouth, giving him permission to flip you over on the bed. He was towering over you, his muscular arms supporting his body weight as you both needily devoured each other.

Before you knew it, shirts were off. And you were laying in the covers, still slightly cold form the rain, and now even more so due to your lack of clothes.

Ben returned back to the bed and kissed you again before pulling away once more, looking you in the eyes. He grabbed your hand and gave you a serious, yet concerned look.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yes. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” you responded without missing a single beat. Ben smirked, practically tackling you down into the bed.

So, you set fire to the world that night. And you couldn’t wait another day to get burnt.

taglist: @sweetheartben @benhardyseyes @ziggyspurplehaze @mrsmazzello @orchideax @ellalisaa @valeriecarolinaw @rexorangecouny @hardzzellos

#ben hardy #ben hardy fic #ben hardy headcanon #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy x you #ben hardy fanfic #ben hardy fanfiction #queen #borhap #borhap cast #borhap boys #bohemian rhapsody #bohemian rhapsody cast #bohemian rhapsody movie #ben hardy blurb #ben hardy oneshot #ben hardy imagine

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franeridart · 6 years ago

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dude your recent demon & angel kiribaku art reminds me a little bit of aziraphale and crowley from good omens!! like aziraphale would be angrier as baku obvs but still i thought of it and it made me happy lol

A lot of people have mentioned that in the tags/under the post and that makes me!!! super happy!!!! Good Omens is one of my fav books and Crowley one of my fav characters, so the comment feels nice! I wasn’t specifically thinking about them when drawing it, but possibly a bit I was influenced anyway!! I wonder if what made everyone think about them was Kiri’s sunglasses? It’s not noticeable but I did give him glowing eyes too after all haha

Anon said:Have you ever thought about how op a TodoBakuDeku fusion would be? (if they could stay together that is lol!)

Never thought of it tbh, but at this point I’m pretty sure with a lot of work on Baku’s part they’d be able to stick together long enough! He wouldn’t find it comfortable but they’d def be one of the strongest three-people-fusions in the class - not the strongest, tho, since they all have the same sort of straightforward offensive power when it comes to their quirks, I think I could find three people who’d make a stronger fusion... Baku Kiri and Momo, for example, would be even more impressive imho! Since all their quirks cover a different field, and their minds/personalities mesh well enough to have the right amount of planning and instinctive reaction/self-preservation and safety of others/pride and self-doubt/lawfulness and chaotic acting and so on. Even just as a team, without counting them as a fusion, I think they’d make one of the most balanced ones! Compared to that putting Todo Deku and Baku in the same place is just a recipe for disaster more often than not haha

Anon said:no, i move slow, I wanna stop time, I'll sit here til I find the,, inspiration to draw,,,,,,

LMAO it’s a song about art block after all, I feel every word in it a whole damn lot hahaha

Anon said:Art block or no art block, I love everything you come up with 💜

AW HECK ANON you’re so sweet!!! Thank you so much!!!!! ;O;

Anon said:Mixing thei hero names? So uuuh King Riot?

We still don’t know Baku’s hero name, so anything might be, really! It’s why I didn’t outright have Kiri mention any idea, I got no clue myself where he was going with it haha it’d be cool if his hero name were Ground Zero, because it’d mix well with Red Riot imho (Red Zero or Ground Riot or Red Ground, they all sound nice!) but what if Baku’s hero name ends up just being Katsuki, after all? How do you mix that with Red Riot? (the answer is Red Victory, or Akatsu!! from akai (red) + katsu !! ngl I’ve thought about this a lot lmao) anyway so many possibilities so little known facts!

Anon said:I love the details on Kiri and Baku's skin. Great job!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

Anon said:!!!!!!!!!! fran oh my god your zine piece is so beautiful!!!!!!!

Sob thank youuu!!!! I’m glad you liked it!!!! ;O;

Anon said:i just got my zine and the art and writing was so lovely, i loved your comic at the end. an amazing way to end the zine♡

THANK YOU!!!! I’m jelly, I still haven’t gotten mine ;O; I hope the comic was easy to read even in printed form, I’ve been worried about that for months hahaha rip at least there’s the pdf

Anon said: i’m in love with your kiri bday art!!!! with the colorless art like that, are we allowed to color it? of course no posting it, but just for fun.

If you promise not to post it, I’m cool with it! Thank you for liking it enough to want to do that!!! Seriously tho don’t post it if you do

Anon said:Can you draw more kamisero? g u d q u a l i t y s h i p ma' dude.

Maybe? Currently it really isn’t between my top priorities but who knows

Anon said:FRANNNNN!!!! Your comic for the Take My Hand zine!!!! I'm gonna cry! It's so beautiful and the boys are so perfect! Your art is so amazing, I was so thrilled to see your piece. Not to mention the detail you put in. Their hands killed me! With Bakugou's palms and Kiri's arms! Ugh, I just can't, I love it so much.

I’M SO GLAD YOU LIKED THE HANDS it’s weird bc that one panel is probably my fav in the comic and I was so sure no one was gonna really notice it but!! So many people did!!!!! It makes me so happy oh man ;O;

Anon said:Hey coulda maybe make a traitor Kaminari comic?

Nope! No traitor arts here, sorry! SInce I don’t believe any of the theories to the point of finding them outright laughable, any art I could ever make about it would just come out looking either fake or ridiculous and no one wants to see that lmao

Anon said:your take my hand comic!!! it's so good!! thank you for doing the boys so well ;;;

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOUUUU!!!!!!!!

Anon said:I don't know if you remember, but a couple months ago I asked if it'd be okay for me to write something based on a few of your art pieces. Would that still be alright? Your art is gorgeous and makes my brain think and brings joy to me all the time ^^ would absolutely link to the art and credit you. that's not even a question :)

That still depends on which art you’re specifically talking about! And thank you so much for the compliment!!

Anon said:I don’t know if you read fan fiction, but I have one to suggest to you! It’s called, “It’s Obvious When You Lie”. Only three chapters are out so far, but it’s really good!

I’ll add it to my marked for later list then!! Thank you so much for the rec, I don’t easily try out ongoing fics so this was very nice of u!!!

Anon said:In the body switch AU Todoroki sees how fucked up Midoriya feels around Bakugou('s body?) and realizes wow fuck this guy has traumatized my bf. I wonder what I can do to fuck w/ him so the day before they switch back (So Bakugou can't do much in retaliation) he takes Bakugou's body and does the stupidest bullshit ever as revenge

HECK anon sorry but nothing like this would happen ever as long as I’m the one writing the AU! For three main reasons! One, I don’t think Deku is traumatized at all! His relationship with Baku at the moment is actually pretty damn neat and on equal footing, you go you two, growing so much!! Two, Baku and Todo are friends!!! And Todo would never be a dick to Baku instead of just talking to him, if he had a problem with him!! Three, even if one and two weren’t true, Deku has no need for knights in shining armor fighting his battles for him!! He’s a strong independent boy and if he hasn’t fought Baku over this it’s probs cause he doesn’t want anyone to fight him over it!!! Also in this specific AU Todo and Deku aren’t dating, so the scenario doesn’t work for me! Sorry!

Anon said:Have you ever thought about krbk wedding?

I have! And I’ve talked about it on here a few times too! Lately I’ve been thinking about it again tho, from a designs point of view, because!! There’s that very neat post going around tumblr about that wedding photos in which one of the two grooms has a white tux with a cape, and I’ve been thinking about a variation of it for Kirishima’s wedding suit :0 something red instead of white, but generally similar! It’s a lot of effort to draw it so I still haven’t, but yeh!!

Anon said:Hello! I read this fic about your cat comics and the author said to send you some love in their end notes so here is some well-deserved love: your art is beautiful! It's why I became interested in BakuShima and I would not have loved these characters as much if it weren't for you. You also seem to be a very nice person, your mind is beautiful and I am glad you exist

G O DS this is such a nice ask!!!! thank you so so much!!!! ;O;

Anon said:Non chiedo una risposta a questo messaggio, anzi. Volevo solo dirti che trovo la tua arte FANTASTICA, e non sai quanto i tuoi comic e tutto il tuo lavoro mi ha strappato più di un sorriso in brutti momenti. Sapere che sei italiana mi ha fatto totalmente impazzire. Continua così, hai del talento vero. E grazie!

NUHHHH GRAZIE A TE PER ESSERE COSI’ GENTILE OMFG !!!!!!!!!! ;A;

Anon said:Okay okay okay! I adore your art! Could you maybe... draw some KiriBaku fantasy? If it’s not too much to ask! It can be as simple as can be! Your art is just really cute!

Yes I can and yes I will!!! Definitely and in the near future, did you know one of the app games JUST revealed a fantasy wolf Baku as a special halloween chara?? It’s just fantasy Baku with wolf ears and tail, but he’s adorable and I’ve been wanting to draw him since I saw him this morning ;O; so cute!

Anon said:Pssst. Singer Baku, Guitarist Kami, and Drummer Kiri. A good hc if I do say so myself.

It IS a great thought!! Drummer Kiri and Singer Baku have always been a weakness of mine too, so heck!! What a good image! If we put Jirou on bass and vocals too and sero on keyboard and mina on guitar, you make my fav band right then and there hahaha

Anon said:I'm not in the BNHA fandom at the moment but your art still continues to give me the warm fuzzies

GODS ISN’T THIS A NICE ASK!! I’m happy I can make you enjoy even characters you’re not specifically into! Thank you so much for sticking around!!!! ;O;

Anon said:i just got into bnha and fell in love with your art, started going through your sketch tag, and then realize that youre the person who made a bunch of haikyuu comics i loved a while ago so im! very glad to rediscover your stuff!!

HOLY GODS THAT’S NEAT!!! Welcome back!!!! ;O;

Anon said:I love it when you draw kiri with his hair down 💕💕💕 so good, so pure 💕💕💕💕

Oh boy thank you!! ;O; he’s so much easier to draw with his hair spiked for me, knowing people like the way I draw his hair when down means a whole damn lot!!

Anon said:Hello! First I love your account and artwork! Second will you ever be drawing Mako and Taiyou again? They are so adorable! Also Bakugou and Kirishima seems like amazing dad's!

Thank you!!! And yes I will! I have another ask around here asking about them, so maybe soon! Just gotta find the right idea to draw, I got a bunch but they’re all way too long for my curret attenton span level sadly hahaha rip

Anon said:lmaaaaooo my boi kaminari be having an emotional awakening

Kaminari is like, he’s always somewhere subconsciously known that Baku’s objectively pretty, but since he knows him so well and he’s always around him and most of the times they’re bickering and making fun of each other he’s never actually realized, so now he’s like oh, NOW I see it hahaha

Anon said:hi u probably get this enough but I wanted to give u all my appreciation for ur art thank u for sharing it with us I love everything u post ♡♡♡

THANK YOU!!!! It might be greedy of me but this sorta asks are never enough for me, so seriously thank you for taking your time to drop by and be so nice!!!

Anon said:Could you please draw more of the body swap au? Or what if a different pair of students were to switch?

I’m not gonna draw any other switch with other students, because before settling on Baku and Todo I went through a lot of possibilities and came to the conclusion that nothing would be as funny as Baku and Todo switched are (or at least nothing Horikoshi hasn’t already done himself lmao) so there’s that. I might draw more of them switched, but to be honest with you the only idea with that concept I have right now is Bakugou forgetting he’s suddenly taller and continuously walking into things around the dorms, so there’s that as well hahaha

#fran answers #a lot of !!!! in this one #today i'm feeling !!!#it's a nice feeling #hahaha #anonymous

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burlybanner · 6 years ago

Text

Syzygy - 2

Syzygy - An AU of Infundo (post-Infundo Chronicles).

Chapter 2: Phase I Trials

Chapter 2 Summary: Talking through the baby steps. Together.

Link to Chapter 1

Author notes: This a ridiculously short chapter, so no “read more” tags needed. Also my posting schedule will be Tuesdays, until I’m stuck in the story and haven’t caught up to my writing schedule.

****

Truth was they couldn't start right away, not without enough data. It took a good two months of Tony and Bruce meticulously analyzing Bruce's metabolism. After tirelessly testing his food consumption, mobility, and sleep habits - and adjusting Bed with different "supplements" Bruce could enjoy throughout the day - they pinpointed the handful theories holding some promise.

"You know," Tony said, eyes scanning the floaty blue diagram of Bruce's body. "We haven't taken one thing into account."

Bruce spread his fingers, further blowing up his body's image while concentrating on the data. He noted a few interesting nuances but his thoughts floated in and out of reality so he didn't pick up on Tony's brainstorm. "I thought you agreed with me on the finer details."

"In theory, I guess, but you didn't like my other suggestion. You know it'd help, in the long run."

Bruce nibbled his lip and cautiously turned his effigy on its axis. His belly became a mountain, high and proud, rising above all the data points. "I'm not sure it would. There's a good chance it'll aggravate the Other Guy, resulting in an unscheduled Code Green."

"True, true." Tony nodded and fiddled with another data stream. "But speed, Brucie. It's a faster way. What we have right now might work, sure. But it may take a while before we get close. Years, even. You wanna wait that long?"

Bruce grimaced and spun his figure around, unnecessarily. "You know I don't. But I've put the cart before the horse before and the results weren't pretty."

"I dunno. Green still suits you."

Bruce glowered over the schematic readings, ignoring him.

"I'm just sayin', Bruce. Think about it."

Bruce remained mum but Tony knew he'd planted the seed.

Although the first test week was adequate, Bruce didn't get the results he'd wanted.

"Less than a kilogram? That's it?"

"Well, we're fightin' nature, Big Guy. I can adjust the formulas of the current weight gain drinks and powders but you still need to consume it fast enough to override your body's heightened abilities."

"It's still not...bad," Steve murmured. "It's some gain, right?" But even he looked a little disappointed.

"I know, I know." Bruce ran a hand through his curls and they toppled over his scalp like loose springs. "There has to be a faster way, though."

Steve gestured at the data pulled from Jarvis. "Is there anything else we could do? I mean, it doesn't look appetizing but you could try one of those heavy duty Vitamix blenders and liquefy your solid foods."

Bruce made a face. "I'd rather not vomit, thanks." He grimaced at his boyfriends. "The problem is trying to eat beyond my point of feeling stuffed. We have to increase my caloric intake but the gains don't last when I'm not physically able to eat enough or fast enough."

Tony rocked on his heels, leveling his steeliest gaze in Bruce's direction. "You know my thoughts, Banner."

Bruce held up a stern hand. "No. I refuse. I told you before it's not safe."

Steve frowned. "What's not safe?"

Bruce briefly glanced at Tony who made a curt go ahead, tell him gesture. "It's...possibly faster."

"Guaranteed faster."

"Allegedly faster," Bruce said a little louder, in case Tony didn't hear him the first time. "I'm not risking massive property damage just to gain a pound or two."

"We could use the Green Room in the basement."

Bruce rolled his eyes. "Not you too, Steve."

"Well maybe I want in on the secrets. The two of you can't keep discussing options without me, because I'm as much a part of our family as you two are."

Bruce and Tony traded uncomfortable glances. "Sorry," Bruce muttered.

"Agreed. We should've included you in the science stuff." Tony made a face at Bruce. "We might as well tell him, mind if I--?"

Bruce sighed testily. "Be my guest. You were going to, anyway."

"Right," Tony murmured, and for penance from pushing his portly bf a little too much he gave Bruce a small peck on his forehead. "It's one option that yields good results: fasting."

"Fasting?" A scowl marred Steve's features. "Isn't that the opposite of what we're trying to do?"

"Yes and no. If we do it right it'll make Bruce hungrier and he'll overeat, even beyond the levels he's eating now. Every five days we can switch up his eating routine."

"And beyond that," Bruce said, sheepishly glancing down. "I've been...working on a few experimental compounds to quicken the results. But I haven't tested my hypothesis and I'm a little unsure of the outcome.

"But fasting..." Bruce paused and sighed. He ran a chubby hand through his curls and nibbled his bottom lip. "Fasting is problematic because it potentially riles the Other Guy. I hope the compound I'm developing works because I'm hesitant to try anything that threatens my calm."

Tony rolled his eyes. "We've got this, hon'. You know we do. We have the Hulk pod in the basement, and you could even stay down there while you get hungry. Not that you'd want to. And Steve and I'll get your favorite take out, after we're done. Double portions of everything."

Bruce's eyes narrowed, and Tony swore he saw a little green. "We've never tested the containment pod. I've never had a need to, and I've never felt in danger since I've been here. I'd rather not unless there are no other options."

"Suit yourself," Tony said, shrugging. "Five years is an awfully long wait for a goal weight, though."

Bruce made another face. "Too long."

"So go for broke," Steve sighed.

"Exactly,” Tony said. “What harm could it do?"

Bruce locked eyes with Tony. "You don't want the answer to that question."

Having heard enough, Steve sauntered over to his favorite scientists. He slung an arm over both their shoulders (though his reach strained over Bruce’s wide back), and gave both a peck on the cheek. "I think the answer is staring all of us in the face," he told them, and both Tony and Bruce gave him the side-eye.

"It is?"

"You know something we don't?” Tony snarked. “Impossible."

Steve chuckled softly. "Bruce, I know It's not something you really like doing, but the Hulk is part of you. And you eat more after a Hulk-out, don't you?"

Bruce folded his arms and planted his feet, as unyielding as a marble statue of himself. "But I also use up a lot of calories. It's a zero-sum game."

Steve nudged Bruce with his chin and immediately Bruce settled into his warm arms. "Muffin. I think both you and Tony will come up with a plan that'll work, but I don't want either of you over-stressing." His gaze flickered to Tony, who finally caved, lips breaking into a small smile. "We'll figure it out. I'm thinkin' maybe we try a little of everything, yeah? Can we start out slowly, just to see what'll happen? We have time. The answer doesn't have to come today."

"Hmm," Bruce sighed. "I guess so."

"Yeah, okay," Tony grumbled. "I guess he's right."

"You're welcome." He kissed Bruce's temple and held out his other hand for Tony to take it. "Tonight, let's enjoy each other's company. A little food, and fun."

"Don't have to tell me twice," Tony said, quickly shutting down their work station.

* *

Part three: https://burlybanner.tumblr.com/post/186018435219/syzygy-3

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