#also i might be down to kiss all of you and maybe also dtf but like in a platonic way

[dmndgs]

Listen. I have a little game we like to play called "how close is the friends group to a wildly sexually charged (or just sexual) event"

I always win

being in love with ur friend like entirely platonically is insane. like. hey, i love you so much by the way. i carry a part of you in me, so if were apart ill still do things that will remind me of you because i got it from you. hey man i know were talking right now but i miss you. i love you

[blushinggray]

Omfg I’m??? Going nuts???? Anyway Fourth Wing spoilers ahead in case you’re reading/planning on reading it

First of all… BRENNAN???????? Are you one piece sabo in another life???? (Like i mean come on, the big brother who disappeared only to turn up again as a revolutionary officer?) Omg there are just so many questions going through my head rn. Like how long has he supposedly been dead again? At least six years or smth by now??? And he’s been here working on the revolution the entire time???

Also how long/often has he been in contact with xaden and co.??? Has he known that xaden has been training his little sister??? I originally found it hard to believe that xaden had such a strong impression/liking to violet at the beginning when he was supposed to hate her for the death of his father. But he’s known this whole time that her brother was alive and that she had the potential to be a great asset to them, then that would make a lot more sense of how quickly he grew to like her

The storytelling is just!!!! So intentional and well thought out!!! I can see every hint being dropped and i can’t stop for a single second from taking mental notes bc i just might need that later to confirm the foreshadowing!!! Like i saw a few things coming, even smth like Brennan coming back/being alive, but the story was told and paced so well that i didn’t expect it at all when it finally came!!!!! But the lightning being hinted all the way back during their first kiss?? This i gotta go back and reread at some point.

But this writing is like a whole ass tapestry, with how yarros (the author) weaved everything together with so much detail, and pacing, and building. I really need to take a few steps back to look at the whole thing and then dissect every part of it just so i can really appreciate it. I was really rereading so many pages in the moment just to let them settle in a little more. My brain really needed to take its time to appreciate every detail and let it settle in. Which is kinda why I’m writing out this whole ramble of a post rn lmao (I was originally kinda just using it to share a couple thoughts without spoiling anyone/creating a whole thread on twitter but now that I’m here i just gotta get this all out)

Anyway, let it be known that i have, once again, fallen for the himbo side character — ridoc will now be my chosen bf of the series, until i meet someone new/more interesting. I mean, look at this golden-hearted doofus

Also? He is dtf? Do i have to line up somewhere? Bc i will

(Lol pls disregard the fact that these are all different light/dark themes. I read across different devices and have different bg lighting themes for each of them)

Though i can’t lie… i really did love Liam too 😭😭😭 he could be so sweet and funny in those moments that he let himself be young

He didn’t deserve the end he got 😔 but he will be in my heart always. Perhaps in some sort of happy au where i can give him all my love and build him shelves for his wood carving hobby/collection 😭

Speaking of scenarios though, i have been drawn to listening to NIKI quite a bit while reading this and i have a few dedicated songs to xaden/violet from her (an underdog woman with something to tell the world; quite fitting for violet, no?)

And i also imagining a scenario of [character] (ridoc? Possibly Brennan depending on how brotherly he ends up feeling to me) and maybe rider!reader or even civilian!reader where the riders come in to save them and they’re all kind of just gathered after an attack, sheltering together and reader is comforting some younger kids or teens or smth and sings them a song to just calm them down, and it ends up calming down a few of the riders too. Just reminding them to take a breath and take the time to feel comforted, even in all the chaos

(I love you Phil Collins, but this version is just a little more chill)

Lots of thoughts… lots and lots of them. It was literally 600 pages of thought provoking stuff. Also, i am really curious about how dragons fuck/get intimate now??? But it is more than i have the bandwidth to write out at 11pm after a full day’s work and another few hours of a night class. But I finished the book and i just had to put some of my thoughts out there while i still had them simmering in my mind (and before I started iron flame). Book 2 Ridoc, and brennan, here i come!!!!

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Swipe Right

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Summary: Bucky has been your neighbor for a few months now, so he likes to think you two are friends. Which is why he thinks you're the best person to go to to help him get back into the dating scene.

AN: inspired by one line of dialogue from the first ep of Falcon and the Winter Soldier. lol also, FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER EP 1 SPOILERS!

Bucky felt lost. Well, he's always felt lost ever since he suddenly came back along with have of the world's population. He was pardoned by the government and now a civilian. He was going through therapy to deal with his 70+ years worth of trauma and trying to navigate his way through the modern world. Everything was new and exciting but also overwhelming and exhausting.

His therapist encouraged him to date and make friends. So that's what he did, or at least, tried to do.

He considers you a friend. You live in the apartment right beside him, gave him a friendly smile and helping hand when he first moved in. You two chatted when you'd run into each other in the hall or in the laundry room. You were nice, attractive, funny. He honestly thought about asking you out a few times, but you were his friend, his only friend it seems. So he couldn't ruin that. Therefore, he resorted to online dating.

He signed up to a bunch of dating websites and apps: eharmony, match.com, plentyoffish, tinder-SO MANY. Why are there so many dating apps?!

He's scrolling through his phone, so overwhelmed by the different pictures and information. What does DTF mean???

He scowls, tossing his phone onto a pile of dry laundry he should be folding. You enter the laundry room with a chuckle, "Everything alright?"

He glances over his shoulder and sees you. He immediately smiles and faces you, "Hey, um, yeah," he gestures to his phone, "Just, um..." he lets out a sigh and asks, "Do you know anything about dating?"

You look at him curiously and reply, "A little. Why? What's up?"

"I'm just," he nervously scratches his head and places his hands on his hips, "I'm trying this online dating thing and it's...a lot."

You can't help but snort, "I feel ya," you give him a reassuring smile despite your heart dropping to your stomach, "So, uh, what sites or apps are you on?"

"Um...all of them?"

You snort again, "No way. Let me see your phone." you hold out your open palm to him and he places his phone into your hands after unlocking it. You swipe through his apps and your brows shoot up to your hairline, "Well it's not all of them , but it's definitely a lot." you look up from the phone to Bucky, "Can I give some advice?"

"Please, I'll take anything you can give me," he replies desperately.

You hop onto the washing machine and hold up his phone, "Okay. These apps are usually for the older crowd. Like thirty five and up, so if you're not picky about age, feel free to keep these. Now, these apps are what the younger generations use. Tinder is usually for hook ups, one night stands and all that. Not many people take Tinder seriously. Bumble, is a level up from Tinder. You'll find people who are more serious about finding a relationship with also a mix of people looking for something casual. Hinge, I think, is a level up from Bumble. You don't see people's typical lame ass bios, but their answers to some fun questions, what kind of relationship they're looking for, if they smoke or do drugs, etc. Also, I'm not sure if you know this, but you can change the age range on all of these apps. So instead of having it from 18 to 50, you can narrow it so 25 to 35 or however you want."

You look at Bucky and see his brows are furrowed in...concentration? Confusion?

"Was that too much? Do I need to slow down?"

He shook his head, "No, no, that's not it. Um, thanks, Y/N," he shoots you a grateful grin and you smile back, "No problem, Bucky." You see the gears turning in his head and you ask a question, he might be scared to ask you, "Do you want me to help you find some potential dates?"

"Will you?" he asks in that same desperate tone from earlier.

Again, you put on a smile, despite your breaking heart, "Sure!"

You tap on Hinge, double checking on his preferences, and then going to the main page.

"Oh! Look here. She's a single mom, but she's also a nurse. On the weekends, you're most likely going to find her wine drunk and watching movies with her kids. She has pets. She'd like to have more kids some day. She sounds nice. How 'bout it, Bucky?"

"Sure. She-She sounds good."

"Cool! So you tap on the heart on whatever thing on her page. So let's like her....answer here. If you want, you can comment something, but if not, you just forward it and hope to see that she'll like you back and you can start messaging her! Also, it looks like some people already like you! So you just tap on this icon here and you can scroll through the different people who've liked something on your page and it's up to you if you want to make contact or not."

Bucky hums and plucks his phone from your hands, "Wow. This-Thanks Y/N. This really helped."

"No problem, Buck! If you ever need more help, just let me know!" you hop off the washer and proceed to start up a load of laundry. You mind running back and forth about how you should shoot your shot, but you were too afraid of ruining the friendship you and Bucky have.

______________________

Bucky: Hey

You: What's up?

Bucky: can you come over? I need more help with this online dating situation.

You: sure!

You let your phone fall to your side with a sigh, Bucky has been asking for your help with his online dating for two weeks now and while you're always happy to help him, it just sucks seeing someone get his attention that you wish you had.

You roll out of bed, not caring about how you looked and exit your apartment, knocking on Bucky's door.

He swings open to reveal him in a tight blue henley and some black jeans, "Hey!" he shoots you a grin and moves aside to let you in, "So, um, this girl, Janine. We've been messaging for a few days now and she wants to meet up. Is that too soon? And where should I take her? I've," he pauses to chuckle to himself, "I haven't dated since the forties so..."

Despite your feelings for him, you knew Bucky deserved to be happy, especially after all the shit he's gone through.

"Hm, well, what kind of vibes are you getting from her?"

"Vibes?"

"Yeah, um, what feelings do you get when you talk to her? Do you feel happy? Do you want to get to know her more?"

"Uh, yeah, I suppose so. I think it'd be nice to meet her in person and get to know her more face to face."

"Then yeah, take her out. But since it's your first time meeting her in person, it should be something casual. Low key, no pressure. A decent restaurant or a bar is probably best."

Bucky nods, "Yeah. Okay. Um, do you think you could help me pick something out?"

You can't help but laugh, "Bucky, I'm sure whatever you choose to wear, you'll be fine."

"Okay. Thanks, Y/N," he slowly wraps his arms around you for a hug, but not too tight in case you're uncomfortable. You surprise him by hugging him back, giving him a little squeeze, "You're welcome, Bucky."

It was Saturday and you didn't have work. You friends asked you to hangout with them, but you didn't want to. You wanted to stay holed up in your apartment, wallowing because Bucky would be going on his date with Janine tonight.

You're mindlessly watching tv , curled up on the couch. You turn your face into the pillow and scream in frustration. You should've just asked him out when you had the chance, but now that chance is gone.

You groan as you roll off the couch and head to your balcony. You just need some fresh air. You push up your window and climb onto the metal balcony. You sit on the outdoor chair you have there and stare up into the night sky. The stars are twinkling, the moon is shining. It looks like a perfect night for a date and here you are, alone.

"Hey-"

"AAAHHH!" you scream by the sudden appearance of Bucky on his own balcony. You're staring at him wide eyed, hand on your chest.

Bucky couldn't help but laugh at your expression, "Sorry."

You shake your head and stand to meet him, "It's fine. What're you doing here? I thought you were on your date."

"Yeah, uh, turns out Janine didn't, what phrase did you use once, pass the vibe check?"

You snort, covering your mouth as you giggled. Bucky's smile grows at the sound and you pull yourself together, "Um, yeah that's it. But I'm sorry."

He shrugs, leaning against the railing, "Honestly, it's okay. I don't think the online dating thing is really for me. I think I'll probably stick to the old fashion way: meeting in person and asking them out on a date."

"That's understandable," you say with a nod.

"So how 'bout it?"

You look at him confused, "How 'bout what?"

"Do you wanna go on a date sometime?" you give a look of surprise and Bucky immediately adds, "But I totally understand if you don't want to. I just-you're nice, and beautiful, and funny I thought maybe-but we're friends so I totally understand if you don't-"

"No, no. Bucky, I just-I'd love to go on a date with you."

"Yeah?" You nod and he holds out his hand, "Come on then."

You give a nervous chuckle, "What?"

"I picked up a pizza after that disastrous date. We can eat and watch a movie. Casual and no pressure, right?"

You look from his striking blue eyes to his outstretched glove hand. You reach out to place your hand in his but then pull back, "Wait. I should probably change."

You step back to head back into your apartment, but Bucky grabs your hand, "You don't have to. You look great."

You chuckle and begin to climb from your railing to Bucky's, with his help, "Alright, Prince Charming. I expect to be wooed tonight."

"Of course you do, which is why I ordered pizza from your favorite place and I'm letting you pick the movie we watch."

"Bucky Barnes, I could kiss you!" you exclaim thoughtlessly but then you realized what you just said. You shook your head and began to ramble off excuses, "No no! I mean not now! Now that I don't want to kiss you. You're very kissable. Not that I imagine kissing you or anything it's just-"

Bucky leans in and gives you a little peck on the cheek, "I don't kiss until after the date's over, doll. So will that suffice for now?"

You could feel your cheeks heating up as you nodded and squeaked out, "Yup!"

He chuckled, taking your hand in his again and leading you to the couch where the pizza was waiting for you.

[obscure-imagines]

(slasher warning, read at your own risk)

-you’re hired as a nanny (this is a given)

-He likes you on sight and his parents leave the next day

-it starts with small thing, pieces of your clothing going missing 

-but then also there starts to be jewelry showing up?

-a pretty pearl necklace on your pillow, a ring on the counter when you get out of the shower...

-they’re family heirlooms of course and you tell the doll not to keep bringing you the ‘gifts’ because his mom would get upset

-you’re not as scared of the idea of the doll being alive as he assumed you would be

-but you were always good to him/the doll so he had no reason to throw tantrums

-one day you’re sick and can’t go ‘wake up’ the doll

-you’re shocked when there’s a knock on your door and a note is slipped under that reads ‘i made you your favourite’ after getting some courage you open the door and find a sandwich 

-you’re so shook and go and get the doll and read to him while cuddled in bed

-he sits in the walls and listens to your read and feels bad that you’re sick

-he knows that sometimes when he’s sick, a shower is nice (even though he generally hates showers, they make him feel a little bit better)

-and he’s a perv so he’s super down for recommending you shower

-so when you go to put the sandwich plate in the kitchen, he calls you on the telephone and suggests it then hangs up

-you’re once more, quite shook. so you leave the doll and trudge to the shower

-it does make you feel better

-Brahms is so tempted to get you to go to the attic so he can lock you inside and generally be a nuisance, but you’re sick so he doesn’t

-he wants a cuddle so bad

-he wonders if you want a cuddle

-wonders if it would make you feel better

-so he calls you again (after you’ve tucked the doll in bed for sleep) and asks “want a cuddle?”

-it’s kind of odd and you’re like “i don’t want to get you sick Brahms.” but then realize it’s a bloody doll so you dont even wait for a response, you just get up and go to Brahms’s room and get the doll

-when you get back to your room, Brahms is there. the real Brahms

-standing with his mask and his cardigan and wife beater shirt

-you’re freaked

-i mean, chances are you run, and if you do, Big boy chases you and wraps his arms around you from behind

-carries you back to your room (you might be kicking and screaming, it doesn’t matter, this is BRAHMS we’re talking about)

- “you’re sick.” he reminds you, as if this will make you conserve your energy and stop fighting him, “i’m a good boy.” he says for good measure

-he sets you down on the bed and backs off, holding up his hands, hunching over, trying to be small even though he’s huge

-he blocks the door

-you realize pretty quick that he’s Brahms

-and you remember he asked for a cuddle

-”do... do you want a cuddle Brahms?” you’d ask, realizing that this will be the right way to talk with him

-he nods, looking down as if he’s bashful, although the would-be-blush doesn't reach the porcelain cheeks of the mask he’s wearing 

-you are HIGHLY aware that this is a 28 year old dude with a doll mask who seems to have been living in the bloody walls

-but if you’re reading this, i’m guessing you’re open minded and have seen a few horror movies and would know how to act for self preservation

-you’re going to cuddle the shit out of this boy so he doesn’t kill you

-is he a murderer? you have no idea as you make room for him on the bed, but he’s definitely scary

-he big

-making room for him and having to pat the bed, he’s being oddly shy about it all

- “come on Brahms.” you’d have to coax

-he comes and lays down and tries to touch or kiss you but you’d have to tut him and tell him to turn around

-making the six foot, hairy wall boy you’re small spoon is the ultimate power move

-and he kind of loves it?

-he falls asleep pretty quick but if you so much as TRY to take your arm away from being around him, his grip on your wrist tightens. 

-yeah you’d be stuck there the whole night

-he’s awake before you the next morning and just states “breakfast”

-and you realize he legitimately expects you to follow the schedule and be his nanny

-“i’ll go make us breakfast but you have to let go of my wrist Brahms.” you tell him

-he lets go of you and sits up and watches you leave the room

-after a moment you can hear him following you

-boy has loud footsteps cuz he bIG

-he lurks while you make breakfast

-and when i say lurk, i mean, you could turn around from grabbing plates and almost run smack into him because he’s just there

-he loves looking down at you because he’s so tall

-follows you around

-you have to do the entire schedule and he follows you the whole day

-he gets bored easily now that he’s out of the walls

-two minutes into listening to music and he wants to dance with you

-he just sort of grabs you and pulls you to his chest

-at this point, you’ve cuddled for a whole night with this guy who just showed up, and made him breakfast and now you’re slow dancing with him

-he’s hairy and gorgeous? and you’re shook?

-he’s looking down at you the whole time and he can feel it in your stance when you relax

-”kiss.” he states, you know, as one does

-“a kiss is for bedtime Brahms.” you’d have to remind him

-he pouts, this is the first time you see him tantruming in person

-straight up throws a chair across the room, arms crossed over his chest, angry baby

-you’d have to console him

-”Kiss.” he states again

-this would be the moment where you’d have to accept his shit

-with a sigh, you’d soften a little, “only good boys get kisses.”

-”i’m a good boy.” he’d insist

-”good boys don’t throw chairs.” 

-he’d look at the knocked over chair with shame and walk towards it with slumped shoulders, pick it up and drag it loudly back to where it’s supposed to be 

-then he’d look at you

-he’s sort of patient as he waits for you to come give him a kiss

-it’s odd to kiss the mask and as soon as you try to pull away he goes to grab you and follow your lips, he’d let you go after a little

-the day continues and at dinner he wants to sit next to you, so when you come into the room for food, he’s gotten rid of all the chairs expect his own and one directly next to it

-he just stares at you, like the fucker that he is

-eating dinner in silence

-kind of awkward at first

-trying to tuck him into the Brahms bedroom bed will fail

-you can try all you want but he’s going to get up and follow you to your room

-you’d have to accept it

-he’d stand in your doorway until you invite him to the bed

-he would stand there all night, don’t test him, he’ll fucking do it

-at the start it would be wise to get him to always be the small spoon until you’re dtf, because if he’s behind you... yeah.... he’s going to hump the shit out of you, like, is this a surprise?

-you’d start to get used to it

-he tries to be good, tries to help you accept him

-he always wants to be touching you

-it gets to a point where he’ll follow you through the house, holding onto your hand

-big hand holder baby

-gets upset when you have to put his hand down to cook

-you’d have to come up with the compromise of him standing behind you while you cook, it’s kind of pleasant having him standing right behind you while you cook? or at least, you get used to it

-but don’t move too much while he’s standing behind you, because the moment you rub up against him, he’s a gonner

-the first night you want to cuddle against his chest he almost dies from it being so soft

-he’s so stiff under you because boy doesn’t know how to properly cuddle

-if you played with his chest hair he’d nut

-well, not literally, but uhh... yeah, blue-balls-ing this boy is not a good idea

-the biggest whiney baby

-(ok now onto once you’re together)

-so boy likes his schedule

-but now that you’re together, he also has to add some extracurriculars 

-sex. we’re talking sex

-he’s horny as fuck

-he likes you having control leading up to stuff, and he likes to please but at the end of the day... Brahms is all about Brahms

-but he’s not into you getting yourself off if he hasn’t made you cum, so boy learns he likes eating more than PB and J’s ;)

-but nah he’s not huge into that, he likes being inside of you

-cockwarming while cuddling

-he likes to bath or shower with you, likes watching you wash him and his dusty wall boi bod

-he’s huge on saying he loves you

-he never wants you to leave

-he’s super weird with anyone who brings groceries

-like, if anyone is in the house he hides but you know if the person in the house so much as touches you... Brahms likes to break through walls and show them who’s boss

-honestly, what’s with him breaking through walls, and why is it so sexy?

-trying to find a painting big enough to cover a Brahms sized hole in the wall is super tough post tantrum

-he likes it when you play with his hair

-he doesn’t talk much

-he loves slow dancing with you

-he likes the way your name sounds on his lips when he does speak

-he loves it when you give him nicknames like Brahmsy 

-loves being the goodest boy

-reaches for things for you from the top shelf

-yeah, thats about as much as he’s going to do to assist you in the kitchen

-i mean, you could try to find a way to convince him to help out more

-he’ll work a little for sex, maybe wash a dish or two but mostly he pouts if you’re holding out on him

-”don’t you love me?” (boy likes to be purposefully ignorant and pretend that sex=love and therefore no sex = no love)

-it’s a big house so there’s usually something to do

-he likes it when you read out loud to him, but he won’t just sit and read himself because he’s a BRAT

-mask stays on during sex unless he’s feeling really warm and fuzzy about you

-there’s something kinda hot about him panting in that mask tho

-but yeah, if the mask comes off he likes to mark you up because he’s a possessive little shit

-he likes to be called good boy during sex

-super praise kink with this guy

-he loves hearing you make sounds

-he’s super whiney too tho

-what an absolute baby

-you’d never have to worry about him leaving or cheating or anything because he is all consumed by you

-you’d just never have to worry about him not showing enough love

-maybe you should worry about it being too much love though tbh

-nah, no such thing, we should all just cuddle this baby

[aylinaliens]

The Not So Scary Haunting of Sarawat Guntithanon— Chapter 1

Fandom: 2Gether

Pairings: Sarawat/Tine

Summary: Sarawat Gay Panics 24/7 over his new roommate (who, by the way, might be a ghost, which is weird on so many levels but whatever, if a man wants to thirst over the supernatural being haunting his apartment so be it!)

Word Count: 1621

Notes: i'm not even excited for 2gether the movie yet here i am, posting another sarawatine fic. basically our boy Sarawat gay panics every single minute of every single day because the ghost who is haunting his apartment is pretty. that's it. that's the plot. just sarawatine being dumb, mutually pining idiots.

Read the first chapter on Ao3 or down below!

+

How was it possible that a disembodied voice could sound so... god damn enticing and lovely? At first, Sarawat found himself pressing his body deeper into his bed but after getting over to his initial shock and fear he allowed himself sometime to appreciate the sound of it. Although his heart was in his throat, Sarawat could not deny the wave of comfort that filled his veins, from his finger to his toes warm spread through his body.

Which was weird—and frankly crazy. Ghosts can possess people, right? Or kill them? Sarawat wished he paid more attention to all the horror movies Man and Boss dragged him to because maybe then he wouldn’t be laying in bed, already whipped, ready to drop down on knee. Hand in marriage sir, please give me your hand in marriage.

He should be terrified of this figure, not lowkey turned on.

Curse Sarawat and his inability to function around attractive boys. Curse this motherfucking hot as heck ghost and his stupid dimples.

Sarawat awakes to a blurry and translucent figure hovering mere inches from his face.

The next day he swears to Man and Boss that the reason he remains frozen was because of fear and not because he was having a full on gay panic attack... over a ghost. That’s what this person was, right? A ghost? He was a rationale adult but he had enough brain cells to connect all the dots.

Sarawat sucks in a deep inhale of breath, allowing his eyes to burn every line, curve, and dip of this mysterious figure's face.

The dim light of his bedroom combined with the near translucent nature of the figure meant that Sarawat never was able to get a clear idea of what this ghost looked like. Just the glimpses he did get left his throat dry and heart pounding rapidly.

The figure had a closed mouth smile etched across his features, all soft pink lips and crinkly eyes and dimples. Sarawat briefly thought of leaning forward to press his fingertips against those pink lips just to see if they were as soft as they looked. But then he realized that was insane and weird so instead he just beat that thought away with a stick. Gay thoughts: be gone! Don’t you dare become a simp over a motherfucking ghost.

The bottom half of his face was crystal clear which was both a blessing and curse while his top half looked as if it was about to flicker away at any moment. Sarawat was positive that this was abnormal, but then again this was his first encounter with a ghost so maybe it was, in fact, normal? It’s not as if he was given a manual or anything.

He couldn’t quite tell what shade of brown this mysterious figures eyes but he allowed his brain to imagine that it was probably vivid, just like the rest of his face. He was debating on the actual shade when he a disembodied voice spoke.

“Hello.”

How was it possible that a disembodied voice could sound so... god damn enticing and lovely? At first, Sarawat found himself pressing his body deeper into his bed but after getting over to his initial shock and fear he allowed himself sometime to appreciate the sound of it. Although his heart was in his throat, Sarawat could not deny the wave of comfort that filled his veins, from his finger to his toes warm spread through his body.

Which was weird—and frankly crazy. Ghosts can possess people, right? Or kill them? Sarawat wished he paid more attention to all the horror movies Man and Boss dragged him to because maybe then he wouldn’t be laying in bed, already whipped, ready to drop down on knee. Hand in marriage sir, please give me your hand in marriage.

He should be terrified of this figure, not lowkey turned on.

Curse Sarawat and his inability to function around attractive boys. Curse this motherfucking hot as heck ghost and his stupid dimples.

Sarawat was like ninety percent sure of his sexual identity but now he was having a crisis about the fact he was possibly crushing on a whole new species. Needless to say he was losing his mind!

He could just imagine the headline of the video Man would inevitably make him sit down to film and post on their jointed YouTube channel.

STORYTIME: I ALMOST MADE OUT WITH THE GHOST THAT'S HAUNTING MY APARTMENT!

Sarawat was positive that his best friend would insert various memes and jokes throughout his very honest and real existential-slash-moral-slash- philosophical crisis Sarawat was having.

It would probably rake in a lot of views but Sarawat did not want to be known as That One Guy Who Simped Over A Ghost for the rest of his life.

He was almost positive that if he told his friends the trust extent of how he felt, they would want to change their channel from music and vlogs to something more akin to Buzzfeed Unsolved.

They would buy a spirit box and Ouija board online and force Sarawat to try to communicate because of course they fucking would, those absolute menaces.

He could already see Boss glancing around like a conspiracy theorist, seriously asking the ghost are you DTF (that means down to fornicate in case you need clarification), Mr. Ghost? Just give us a sign, any sign. Man would most definitely feed into this or make the situation even worse.

Which is why he was not going to reveal what happened tonight. He would just play off as sleep paralysis. Yeah. That is the best way to prevent his best friends from blowing this situation out of proportion.

Sarawat wanted to say something but the words died in his throat. What would he even say? Hello. Please smash your face against mine! Uh, no way in hell. Maybe it was a good thing that he had trouble forming words right now. It would save him a lot of embarrassment.

The figure leaned down closer and— fuck fuck fuck gay thoughts go away— peering curiously down at Sarawat. “He definitely can see me so why isn’t he saying anything?”

Because you can’t verbally keysmash in real life you beautiful and vaguely threatening supernatural being.

The figure hummed, deep in thought, before leaning back (thank goodness) only to do something that made Sarawat let out a very unflattering shriek in surprise. Well there goes his reputation. He didn’t have one in the first place to begin with, especially not with this ghost, but still. There it goes.

Ghosts were unable to touch people right? Right? So why did a ghost...just touch him?

Sarawat raked his brain trying to remember the drama he watched a few months back with his brother (it was Phukong unsubtle way of being like, hey, bro, I like boys but I’m still scared of coming out so let’s just both pretend like I didn’t just cry at the scene where Ohm Pawat’s character comes out to his mother, I swear I’m emotional because of the acting not because I can relate to it).

Sarawat was positive that the ghost in that drama couldn’t actually touch anyone. He was like ninety-six percent sure that every time he tried his body would just go straight through the other characters.

He forgot how it was possible that the ghost could touch, and kiss, the human, though. He should have paid more attention but hey, he was also trying to think of an inconspicuous way to let it slip that he was also gay. Great (disaster gays) apparently think a lot alike.

Anyways, the figure poked his chest and Sarawat almost pissed his pants in shock. Clearly the ghost was just as surprised that he could actually touch Sarawat because he froze, making Sarawat happy that he decided to wear a shirt to bed tonight.

He assumed that the ghost must have thought he was dreaming to (wait can ghost dream?) so just to make sure he poked Sarawat three more times in the same spot and yup—Sarawat felt it. He felt it clear as day.

“Oh.” The figure tilted his head to the side. “This is weird. I shouldn’t be able to do that.”

Yeah, obviously.

Sarawat opened his mouth to finally speak (he swore he was going to play it cool and be all like: hi! i promise i’m not having gay thoughts right now!) but before he could a loud crash in the next room made him jolt in surprise.

After being rendered motionless for a few minutes, Sarawat finally gained control of his own body. He threw himself upright into a sitting position but in the process of doing so he accidentally slammed his forehead against the figure whose face was technically still in close proximity.

Cursing, Sarawat clutched his head as pain made white spots cloud his vision. “ Fuck .”

From next to him the figure cursed too. “ Shit.”

Eventually the pain subsided into a dull ache, allowing Sarawat to glance over at the boy—ghost, supernatural being, angel, whatever—next to him.

The top half of his face was no longer translucent anymore.

In fact, he wasn’t translucent at all.

Crimson blood began to trickle out from his nose, causing Sarawat to gape in horror.

Not because the image was a terrifying one. I mean, yeah, it was a bit weird but it has been established that Sarawat, that certifiable himbo, was in a constant state of ‘mark me down as scared and horny’ tonight, but because a ghost...was bleeding. From a wound that Sarawat gave him. Was that like, scientifically possible? Note to self: send a text to Earn so that she can ask her girlfriend about it.

Also? Sarawat was finally able to label the ghost's eyes as being a cross between honey and caramel. Obviously, his poor gay started chanting oh oh oh oh oh because yeah, read above, Sarawat Guntithanon? Himbo, Simp, Dumbass Extraordinaire. Either way he was a mess.

The possible brain injury and the shock of the entire night finally caught up to Sarawat, making his stomach churn with nausea and vision become blurry.

Without meaning to, Sarawat fainted—not even elegantly like one of those heroines in a romance novel but like a dead, fucking fish, limbs flopping every which way—right into the arms of the mysterious figure he was still dying ( yikes bad choice of words) to know the name of.

The last thing he registered before completely blacking out was that someone was cradling him to their chest, rambling away.

“Oh my god. Did I just kill him? No. No way. He’s still breathing. Shit. Sarawat! Hey, you saraleo, wake up!”

[absolute-sakuya-stan]

Congrats on your 200 followers! Can I request 🐝 🎀 🍬 🍓 🍨 for Banri, Kazunari + Tenma? If that was too many u can pick ^^

thanks!! here’s your boys!! (*'ω'*)

🐝Bumblesweet - what’s their favorite non-sexual form of intimacy?

though he’d never tell any living soul, he loves to do soft coupley things with you. like pulling you into his lap while you watch tv, feeding you snacks, or even if you want him to paint your nails, he loves all of it. but he’ll pretend that you’re the one making him do it

🎀Buttonbelle - what do they do when they see their s/o being hit on?

he doesn’t get too mad with harmless flirting if you seem okay with it. if it’s just some guys telling you that you’re cute he doesn’t mind. if someone is persistently hitting on you or they try to touch you, he’s pissed. you’re going to have to restrain him from slaughtering a man if that happens.

🍬Bon Bon - what is the most heated thing they’ll do? (ranging from slightly intense kisses all the way to sex)

if you’ll let him, he’ll go all the way on a pretty regular basis. that being said, he also loves making out just as much as having sex so if you don’t want to, he won’t push you.

🍓Sweetberry - their s/o says, “taste my lip balm” what’s their reaction?

he gives you a smirk and might respond with a smug comment. probably something along the lines of “only if you wanna taste the candy on my tongue”. he’ll kiss you regardless of your response to his comment, making sure to brush his tongue along your lips so he can taste the sweetness of you lip balm.

🍨Lickity Split - what’s a spot that you can kiss them on and it will drive them crazy? (like neck, ear, etc.)

right where his ear meets his jawline. it drives him insane, use it with caution it’s a one way ticket to turning him on.

🐝Bumblesweet - what’s their favorite non-sexual form of intimacy?

he loves when you lay in his lap or on his chest while he scrolls through social media. you don’t even have to necessarily be talking, he just likes the closeness. he’ll probably show you the occasional meme or video or maybe some pictures of celebrities he follows.

🎀Buttonbelle - what do they do when they see their s/o being hit on?

his flirty behavior tones down once you start dating. he absolutely hates it when guys hit on you. he’ll swoop in and pull you close to him and wrap his arms around your waist making sure to call you babe in the process to let the guy know to buzz off.

🍬Bon Bon - what is the most heated thing they’ll do? (ranging from slightly intense kisses all the way to sex)

he’s pretty good with doing whatever you’re comfortable with. if you’re dtf he is to. he likes a good make out session every once in a while too.

🍓Sweetberry - their s/o says, “taste my lip balm” what’s their reaction?

100% doesn’t even ask why, he just goes in for a kiss. he’ll pull away and lick his lips and try to guess what flavor it is.

🍨Lickity Split - what’s a spot that you can kiss them on and it will drive them crazy? (like neck, ear, etc.)

nibbling at his earlobe is a sure fire way to get him riled up. it’s one of the only ways to fluster him through kisses.

🐝Bumblesweet - what’s their favorite non-sexual form of intimacy?

he loves to sneak off set of tv shows he’s in to go on secret dates with you. even if it’s just a quick walk while holding hands, he still loves it.

🎀Buttonbelle - what do they do when they see their s/o being hit on?

if your relationship with him is already out to the public, he won’t hesitate to come up next to you without sunglasses and say “hey, sunshine, you ready to go?” to let the guy hitting on you know he doesn’t even have a chance with you. if the relationship isn’t out, he’ll only intervene if the person touches you. probably by pretending to be a high school friend or something to get you away from the person.

🍬Bon Bon - what is the most heated thing they’ll do? (ranging from slightly intense kisses all the way to sex)

he doesn’t always have a lot of time to fool around because of filming, so on a regular basis it’s probably just intense make outs in his dressing room on set.

🍓Sweetberry - their s/o says, “taste my lip balm” what’s their reaction?

he blushes and asks why. if you explain he’ll probably say “if you wanted to kiss, why didn’t you just ask?” he probably forgets to taste the lip balm though.

🍨Lickity Split - what’s a spot that you can kiss them on and it will drive them crazy? (like neck, ear, etc.)

kissing him on his neck and down his collar bone makes him go crazy. he loves feeling your lips trail down from his jaw to his collar bone. he finds it really enticing.

[laws-yellow-submarine]

Hiiii! Can you please do the NSFW A-Z for Zoro? 💕

Hello! Thanks for waiting so patiently for this, I’ve been working on it in between shifts and breaks and all that haha much easier to do the whole thing if you do it in chunks rather than all at once! I hope you enjoy!

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Considering that he falls asleep pretty much instantly, he’s not too good about aftercare; he’s absolutely down for cuddles though, and will likely even seek his partner out in his sleep.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On his partner: He’s an ass man, he just really loves touching/grabbing/squeezing/whatever-ing his partner’s butt. 

On himself: So this’ll be hard to explain, but Zoro doesn’t really have a favorite part of his own body. Not because he’s unhappy with how he looks or anything to do with that, after all he puts a lot of work into keeping his body strong and in shape; but it’s all a vessel for his dream of being the World’s Greatest Swordsman. The closest thing you could come to for an answer would be his muscles, but that’s only because they’re the physical embodiment of what he can do as a fighter. He doesn’t attribute any emotion to his physical form, it’s all just hardware.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Considering how grossly filthy Zoro is at pretty much any given time, he has zero qualms about getting cum everywhere. Please spray him with a hose (honestly just spray him with a hose even without the sex, the man only bathes once a week, and that's a crime) 

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Zoro actually really likes getting pegged (when he's with a woman), and when he's with a male partner he actually tends to bottom. It's not something he's ashamed of, per se, but it's not something most would think when they look at him, so it can be a bit of a surprise

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Zoro has zero experience, but once he finds someone he wants to be with he's ready and willing to learn the ropes. He approaches it just as earnestly as his regular training (though with a few more blushes of course). He mostly just needs to be guided through at first; his instincts are pretty sharp, and they’ll kick in pretty easily.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

He's fine either being on top or bottom, but his favorite positions are ones that let his partner grip him to the point of scratching him. Feeling their nails dig into his skin is a pretty big turn on and just gets him going even more than he already was. He's also a fan of sex while standing up, and he can easily hold up his partner's body while he's slamming into them. 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He's unintentionally goofy, as in he's totally serious about everything he says and does, but the things he's saying and doing are so ridiculously silly that the whole thing ends up being hilarious. As he gets more comfortable having sex, he'll stop getting so embarrassed when his partner starts giggling at his antics, and he'll even be silly on purpose. 

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

It's a mess down there, and to be honest he can't be bothered to trim it. Maybe if he's asked really nicely (aka threatened) he'll do something about it, but otherwise it's staying a mess. 

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

Zoro is just downright affectionate during sex. Even if it's super kinky sex, he's finding every opportunity he can to kiss his partner, whether it be on the mouth, back, shoulder, stomach, or just wherever he can reach; he just wants them as close as possible. He's so intense about it. 

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

When he's not interested in anyone in particular, he can go quite a while without masturbating; he even considers it a form of discipline training (how long can I deal with the fact that I'm horny right now, and can I hold off long enough for it to just go away?). It can become harder to keep his focus when he is interested in someone, but either way he's no stranger to masturbation. As long as he's alone and no one can hear him, he's fine.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Zoro's down to try anything once, but the one thing he knows for sure he likes (after trying it) is anal, both giving and receiving. Also impact play (on himself, though if his partner's into it he's up for that as well) 

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Anywhere he knows he won't be walked in on; he's really got no particular preference on location. He'll try to stick to comfortable places (like a couch or a bed) whenever possible for his partner's sake, but comfort isn't an issue for him as long as it's private. 

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

He gets turned on the most when his adrenaline is high; so after working out, after a battle, things like that. His blood's already pumping, and then afterwards he can settle down for a nap. Win-win!

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He won't do public sex; not because he's embarrassed about his performance or anything like that (after all, it's one more thing he can lord over a certain cook), but he's a private person. Others don't need to see how he acts with his partner in their intimate moments, and nobody except him gets to see his partner in that situation.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Zoro loves receiving, he goes just absolutely wild for it; but he definitely gives as good as he gets. The man can hold a whole ass sword in his jaw, and can even hold a clear conversation while doing so! He can go for a long time without his jaw getting tired, and he’s...dextrous? Shall we say? He also can absolutely talk to his partner while he’s going down on them, which the first time he did that was definitely a shock, but after that he occasionally just...says something (about the weather for instance), just to be silly. What a dork.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He is the definition of "fast and rough", he's relentless. But, there's passion in what he does, and that's its own kind of sensuality. He can go slower if his partner would like, but he has to physically slow himself down as it's not his default setting

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Zoro has no problem with quickies. If it's a matter of "we have about 5 minutes before someone walks in here but we're both horny", that seems like an easy decision for him. He does still prefer to take his time with his partner though, so he might find them again later, time permitting. It's also going to be very rough, and may leave his partner a tad sore for a while afterwards. 

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

As long as the risk isn't "let's see if we can fuck without getting caught" he's fine, and even then it's mostly that he doesn't wanna be caught with his pants around his ankles in an emergency. But honestly, this is Zoro; what's life without a little risk?

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Zoro has ridiculous amounts of stamina. Sex can end up lasting a pretty long time with him, so hydrate well before and after. It'll lead to some nice sleep afterwards, though.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He doesn't own toys, but if his partner has them he's more than happy to try using them. It's all part of the learning/training process for him. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Zoro would like to tease, and he gives it a fair shot, but he usually can't hold himself back for very long to really make it worth it. He just wants to taste and feel every inch of his partner's body, and he loves the sounds they make when he's pleasuring them. 

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

If/When he’s being teased, or just during foreplay when his partner is touching him or blowing him or grinding on him or whatever they may be doing, Zoro downright whimpers. He’s trying so hard to remain in control of himself, but when he feels good it’s harder and harder for him to remain disciplined, and those little sounds just slip out of him (especially pre-timeskip, before he’s had further training with Mihawk; he’s much less self-controlled then). He’s pretty embarrassed by it though, so don’t tease him about it (but feel free to continue teasing him in other ways hehehe). Otherwise he's pretty loud anyway, but not much for words; it's just a bunch of noisy grunts and caveman noises. He's so noisy!

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Surprising probably no one, Zoro is a bit of a masochist! Nothing too crazy, but the slight sting of pain during foreplay and sex is a huge turn on for him, and drives him absolutely wild. It's part of why battle gets him worked up. 

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

His penis is pretty average in length and girth, with a slight curve to the left. 

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He's pretty good at staving off the urges, but his sex drive is remarkably high. He's honestly always DTF, so long as circumstances permit it.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He passes right out, sorry. He’s just exerted a lot of energy and stamina, no different than when he trains and works out, and he celebrates by taking a nice nap. He’ll be up again soon though, he never sleeps for very long.

[dw-writes]

Well, I want to see our Werewolves, of course. The small downside to the show is that a lot of the characters are underdeveloped or we don't get to know them. But I do kind of like Alyssa and I like Kyle (Yes, he's an ass, but I still like him. I like the actor and I have thing for guys with curly hair) Also this is my HCs, Kyle's last name is Prescott. So, can you add Alyssa and Kyle and Amir was cute and nice.

I had to go back and look up what the original request was aosidhgfoaisdhfoas because i COULDNT REMEMBER!! BUT FIRST DATE HEADCANONS FOR OUR FAVORITE GROUP OF CHAOTIC BASTARDS

Hamish is the type of guy that would take you on a Nerdy Date - if you were into that sort of thing. I mean, have you seen this guy? He is most definitely going to say you are the nicest piece of art in the museum before breaking out in a grin and admitting that he should not have dropped such a cheesy compliment on you. But before any place fancy off of campus, Hamish is going to take you to the Blade and Chalice - something familiar, for a relaxing drink and a small bite to eat, a chance to make sure that you really are comfortable being alone with him while not really being alone.

It’s also the place that, you know...Randall and Lilith and Jack can also make sure that you’re Up To Snuff for their fearless leader, while he uses the opportunity to see what his closest friends think of you. He really values the opinions of his friends, especially on something that he, himself, is so nervous about - putting himself completely on the line for you.

Don’t sweat it. Lilith doesn’t spend the WHOLE time glaring at you. In fact, she tells you what Hamish’s favorite exhibit is at the museum you end up going to. For your sake.

Boy does THAT work out in your favor (i.e. he is DTF on the first date if you two hit it off THAT well. Which. Let’s be real. He asked you out. You two hit it off THAT well already).

Have you met Randall? Of course you have, you’re going on a date with him! “Going” is....overselling it, however. If you agree to a date with Randall, he’s not planning something elaborate, but something casual and relaxing. The man lives in sweatpants for fucks sake, I highly doubt that he actually owns a pair of Slacks.

So, the first date is at his place - that room/apartment that he has for being an R.A. He orders some food from a nice place, grabs a variety of drinks for you to choose from, and makes sure that the place is clean. He cleans for you. Cleans. Give him a break.

It’s a night of good food, good booze, and shitty movies, each one worse than the one before it - but that could just be from the copious amounts of alcohol that you two partake in. Whenever you leave the couch and the comfort of his warmth, he sends message after message to the Swearwolves Group Chat (you look me in the eye and tell me that’s NOT what its called) telling them how EXCITED he is, how much FUN he’s having, until his texts aren’t making any sense because he’s so smitten and so drunk that he can’t stop smiling.

There’s a kiss, or two, and some gratuitous groping, but he will WAIT until, at least, the second date to get really into it.

Maybe.

Lilith is a nervous WRECK. From asking you out to actually meeting you the day of your date, she’s much more prickly than normal. But it’s okay!! Don’t let it phase you (if it does, should you REALLY be on a date with Lilith?). She will relax the longer you two are alone together, until its Business As Usual, and she’s wondering what the hell she was nervous about.

It’s a small place off campus that she picks - mostly because she does NOT want Hamish, Randall, or Jack to show up and ruin things. She says ruin, but if it’s anything like when she asked you out, then they would probably make faces at her until she just threw the whole date in the trash. But that’s why she picks a small diner off campus! So that she can have you to herself, so she can BE herself, and not worry about anything else.

It’s a movie afterwards. And there’s very little appreciate of the movie to be had, because as soon as the lights go down, she’s distracting you with small kisses and teasing touches, and boy does she enjoy being able to see you blush in the dark.

You two wouldn’t even make it back to a bed. If everything goes according to plan, the two of you are GOING to fuck in the back seat of the car.

Jack thinks he’s smooth, but he’s really not. He practiced asking you out in the mirror, and was repeating it to himself as he was on his way to meet you, but you found him first, and overheard the whole thing and said yes. He invites you out to some event that’s happening in town - something outside, and fun, like a carnival, or a fair. He knows that its relaxing, and fun, and it’s the one place that he can really get you alone if he needs to, because of the rides.

He would also send off messages to the Swearwolves Group Chat to let them know how it goes, and immediately decides to take you somewhere else when he hears three separate phones going off around the fair grounds.

After anything he has planned for you - be in the carnival, or the fair - he takes you home for dinner and to meet his Gramps. He may get embarrassed by some stories that Gramps shares - I mean, why wouldn’t he share these stories? It’s the perfect time! - but he’s so excited for you to meet his family that he’ll get over it.

It really is a sweet first date, and he even drops you off at your door with a kiss.

Granted, that doesn’t mean that he won’t come back later to visit because he just can’t stop thinking about you.

It’s not the first date anymore, now is it?

Does Alyssa do dates? Does she really? Not if you look at her track record. But it’s okay! When she decides to ask you on a date, it’s at the same time as you, and you both end up stumbling over your proposals and laughing a little because of it.

She cooks, and invites you over for a wonderful spread of food that she put together herself, and it’s all surprisingly easy - you two talk about magic, you talk about classes, you talk about anything and everything and it isn’t until the candles that she lit are practically stumps that either of you realize the time.

She lets you stay the night, stumbles over offering to give you the bed, and both of you turn a little pink when you agree to share it with her. It’s fine! It’s okay! You’re both adults, right? So when you both climb into bed, it’s safe to say that neither of you are jumping into the other’s arms.

But as you’re falling asleep, you do feel her arms around you.

Breakfast the following morning very much is a second date, and earns a little more than just a kiss from either of you.

(there actually arent gifs that i can find of kyle....but i might not have looked in the right spots)

Kyle, Kyle, Kyle. He really is full of himself, isn’t he? He asks you out MULTIPLE times, each one more pompous, and a little egotistical than the last, and every time you turn him down, if only because he keeps looking back at his friends like “hey, check it out, I’m getting a date”. 

But, hey, when he actually gets the nerve to ask you out WITHOUT his friends hovering in the corner is when you actually agree.

And he pulls out ALL the stops: a fancy restaurant, a limo, fine wine, etc. But it isn’t the glitz and glam that get you, but the laughs. He’s surprisingly easy to talk to, and it reminds you why you were even friends with him to begin with, let alone why you studied magic with him. He was smart, and funny, and sweet when he pulled out your chair, and opened the door, and offered you his coat when you said you were cold.

Given his track record with you before your date, he doesn’t dare TRY to kiss you when he drops you off at your front door. So you kiss him. And, maybe, drag him inside.

If he brags to his friends, though, you will turn him into something small and squishable. Until you see his friends earnestly asking about the date. Then, well...maybe you’ll forgive him later.

(i couldn’t even find a gif under Ajay Friese!! Someone!! Please!!)

Amir just goes for it. He really is a “grab life by the horns” kind of guy, and when he realizes that there’s even a SPARK of interest between the two of you, he just asks you out - no planning, no real idea of what to do, just blurts it out while you’re laughing about one of his jokes.

He really is a broke college student, though, and he does his best to plan something that will really catch your eye - he does his best to convince the owner of the Blade and Chalice to give you two the whole bar for a the night, or at least an hour, or at least after close? And the guy agrees - if only because Amir says that he’ll clean the bar for a week for free in exchange for it. Afterwards, when you hear the owner flag down Amir and tell him that his debt is paid, whatever that means, the two of you head off to town for a late night movie of your choice.

Or, you would, if it hadn’t started to rain.

But it’s okay! Because Amir is a quick thinker, and remembers that Netflix is a thing. So you two head back to his room, where his roommate is gone (Thank God) and stream whatever movies you can think of until it’s even later and the two of you fall asleep propped against the wall.

He does buy you breakfast, and offers to grab your homework from classes when you tell him that you’re going to skip them for the day, and earns the largest, loudest kiss that you can muster with little sleep and a sore back.

He does do a dance. You do see him do a dance before he leaves. It’s cute.

[asrasotherbottom]

Hc for the main 6 with an MC that just generally hands out in their underwear when home alone. Spicy/sour optional. (With the exception of a pair of shorts, this is me every day.)

To specify, if ya want/need it, chubbeh MC who pretty much hangs out in their underwear.

As a fat person who hangs out in my underwear, i feel this on a deep emotional level. Warning for: a little spice

———————————————————————

Asra

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

He doesnt hang out in much anyway when its just him or just the two of them anyway. 

Catch our local disaster magician drooling in the doorway

He’s a BIG fan of easy access to MC’s belly for kissing and squishing. 

Sometime’s he’ll think its funny to make his hand really cold and put it on their back (Muriel hears a screeching in the distance all the way in the forest)

Or tickle fights honestly, lots of prime tickling real estate is Exposed

Loves to press gentle kisses along their bare shoulders and back whenever he can. 

Asra gets a little worried whenever MC is handling something Hot when they’re in only their underwear and will insist that he goes to pour the tea and bring it to them just in case. 

Hugging them from behind and they’re both in just their underwear and they’re just totally skin to skin contact and they’re so warm and soft and Asra is so happy. 

Asra is honestly so horny and seeing them mostly naked just being so cute and noticing all the little things about their body (like the way their thighs jiggle a little when theyre walking or the curve of their back) would make that 10x more intense so he is Ready To Fuck.

Nadia

“Oh my…” She’s surprised at first to walk in on them just in their underwear but she is Not complaining. 

If MC is into it, Nadia loves the vulnerability contrast of when MC is just walking around in their underwear and Nadia is lounging and interacting with them while fully clothed

It does however encourage her to shed her robe sometimes and join them in just existing in her underwear. 

She spends a lot of time running her hands over MC’s body while they’re just going about their business. (especially running her nails over their body)

Nadia is big into just watching and observing and committing every aspect of MC’s body to memory.  (She loves MC’s body, she loves the intricate pink stretch marks or the way that they have little rolls on their back and the shape of their thighs and the way their butt moves when they go to bend down) 

She will absolutely have custom fancy underwear made for MC just for them to wear when they’re alone or its just the two of them. 

But she still never knows when someone might just barge in to her chambers so she always has an emergency robe accessible for them. 

Julian

If a chubby MC hung around in nothing but their underwear all the time i am Convinced Julian would have no choice but to give up his profession and spend all day with his one remaining brain cell going “hey god are you there its me julian” 

It would take a lot of convincing on MC’s part to get him to go to work every day

The first time Julian walked in and saw MC just chilling in their underwear he turned like 5 shades of red and his heart jumped into his throat and he forgot that he was just lurking in the doorway instead of making his presence known for like 5 minutes. 

For as much of a show-off as he is when he’s flirting, he usually keeps his clothes on when he’s hanging out with them. (maybe after Time and gentleness he’ll take his gloves and eyepatch off when its just him and MC)

👀👀👀

He narrates everything he notices that he likes about MC’s body as they’re just going about their life. He’s always finding something new to appreciate. 

He loves hugging them from behind and squishing their belly or gently squeezing their butt as they’re just walking by. 

He spends so much time just appreciating that MC is with /him/ and that they’re comfortable enough to walk around in their underwear when he’s around and how lucky he is that someone that he finds So Fucking Hot is….his partner. 

He does get very worried that Malak is going to land on them and scratch them when they dont have clothes on, he’s very protective. 

Muriel

Hello 911 its Muriel how can i tell if i still have a pulse

He walks into the hut, sees them in their underwear, turns 15 shades of red and slams the door as he leaves. 

At least MC knows he’s there now. 

They have to coax him to come back in, and he’s still very red. 

He eventually gets used to it though as its more just a normal occurrence for him to come home to. 

👀  but he will NEVER let MC catch him staring (more like beaming honestly) 

Muriel gives a lot of hugs just to feel their warm skin pressed up against his. 

Muriel hangs out in pretty much just his pants and belt when he’s home alone, and he starts to hang out like that around MC too when he sees how they like to dress when its just the two of them. 

Sometimes he’ll gently run his hand over a part of their body (like gently grabbing their belly or running his hand over their back rolls or their shoulders) in passing and smile to himself and then go about his day. 

Portia

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

She walks in and sees MC in their underwear and she just Strips

No clothes ever again in the Portia-MC household thats the rule now

Pepi’s collar can stay but its on thin ice. 

She will absolutely walk around and grab whatever part of MC she can just to squish it. 

Portia just loves MC’s body and she loves Seeing MC’s body and she loves that MC is chubby and she just is very very open and affectionate about it. 

She plans matching underwear days when they’re both able to sit around together like that. 

If MC gets cold she will sooner pile them with tons of blankets than risk them putting pants on. 

Absolutely the WORST when it comes to unexpected tickle fights. 

She can and will spank MC to watch them jiggle a little and thinks its just the cutest thing she’s ever seen. 

“C’mere i need to tell you something” *mc walks over* 

*Portia grabs them and bends over and puts her face in their belly and blows a raspberry* 

Lucio

Open and loud adoration honestly. 

Wearing only your underwear when you’re alone is the best idea he’s heard in years. 

He’s joining you immediately, stripping down to not even his underwear. 

Lucio loves talking about how good they look going about their business in their underwear but even when he’s not talking about it he is just appreciating that MC is there with him like this. 

Its a very comfortable type of intimacy to be present with your partner while they’re just hanging out in their underwear that Lucio isn’t used to nor did he think it was ever even on the table for him so he is just full of feelings about it. 

He is also dtf at all times though so seeing MC walking around looking SO good with just their underwear on gets him going fairly regularly and he’s just begging them to get into bed with him. 

He starts habitually taking the pointy parts off of his metal arm so he can’t accidentally scratch MC when he’s putting his arm around them which he does regularly. 

Lucio definitely spends his time lounging around in his bed when MC’s around which puts his head at perfect belly kissing height when they’re walking around and he takes full advantage. 

Very regularly suggests they just ditch the underwear. 

[k-y-andjellysandwich]

would you answer all of the questions or is that asking too much

Well shit I guess if I must. But also good on you for using anon so I can’t get you back for this:

·         1. Are looks important in a relationship? Kinda, but I think the more emotionally attracted to someone you are, the more physically attracted you become too.

·         2. Are relationships ever worth it? Obviously yes

·         3. Are you a virgin? No

·         4. Are you in a relationship? No

·         5. Are you in love? No

·         6. Are you single this year? Yes

·         7. Can you commit to one person? Yes

·         8. Describe your crush. Don’t really have a real “crush” per se, just people I’d be dtf

·         9. Describe your perfect mate. Ew don’t use the word mate

·         10. Do you believe in love at first sight? Uuuuh I guess? It had to have happened once, the world is weird.

·         11. Do you ever want to get married? Maybe idk

·         12. Do you forgive betrayal? Yeah, probably too easily

·         13. Do you get jealous easily? I don’t think of it as jealousy, I think I just need a lot of attention. I think I might be needy, but idk for sure

·         14. Do you have a crush on anyone? See 8

·         15. Do you have any piercings? No

·         16. Do you have any tattoos? No

·         17. Do you like kissing in public? Sometimes yeah

·         20. Do you shower every day? I’ve been trying to do every other day lately but its hard I love showers

·         21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? Idk dude maybe

·         22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Yeah probably

·         23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? I’ve done it so yes

·         24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? Fuck probably not

·         25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? Right now not really I’m looking for something more casual, like friends w benefits-y

·         26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Yep

·         27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? Poem yeah not song

·         28. Have you ever been cheated on? No but like…kinda? Complicated

·         29. Have you ever cheated on someone? No

·         30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body? Unless you consider removing the mole on my eyebrow plastic surgery, no

·         31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? I cry over everything so yes

·         32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Yeah

·         33. Have you ever had sex with a man? Yep

·         34. Have you ever had sex with a woman? Yep

·         35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? Yep

·         36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? Yep (I’m a fucking sucker for this)

·         37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? Nope

·         38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? The fuck does this mean?

·         39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? See 32

·         40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? Yeah a poem. I also remixed some songs for someone once

·         41. Have you had sex so far this year? Yes

·         42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? I mean there’s a point where they SHOULD wander right? Otherwise you’re just not taking the hint

·         43. How long was your longest relationship? Like 3 years-ish

·         44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? 3 total? Maybe 4

·         45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013? Huh this really aged this post huh. Lets do 19/20. I think like 3?

·         46. How many times did you have sex last year? Listen I don’t think we have to get into the specifics. Zero, its zero

·         47. How old are you? 24

·         48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? Hell yeah go for it dude.

·         49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? Don’t have one

·         50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? Accept the apology? Yes. Accept their love? No, its over.

·         51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? Yep

·         52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why? Yeah, because they weren’t into me like that

·         53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? Nope

·         54. Is there someone you will never forget? I’m gonna get Alzheimer’s so I’ll probably forget everyone

·         55. Share a relationship story. The first time I ever had sex we were caught by their grandparents. Good times.

·         56. State 8 facts about your body Pretty eyes, purple hair, strong legs, no abs, big-ish dick, bigger booty, hairy everything, unusually long tongue

·         57. Things you want to say to an ex Sorry

·         58. What are five ways to win your heart? Open up to me, be empathetic, love animals, love cuddles, have a HUGE booty

·         59. What do you look like? *Ghasp* well I never! (See below)

·         60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? Pulls neck of shirt, 5.5 years

·         61. What is the first thing you notice in someone? Hair

·         62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? Tie me up and tease me/edge me for a long time

·         63. What is your definition of “having sex”? penetration

·         64. What is your definition of cheating? When you’re in a relationship with one person and you have sexual relations or try to date another without telling the first (or the second)

·         65. What is your favourite foreplay routine? See 62. But also oral, if that counts as foreplay.

·         66. What is your favourite roleplay? Only sexual roleplay I’ve ever done is masseur and customer, so I guess that one

·         67. What is your idea of the perfect date? Either pizza, cuddling, and movies, OR elope and move to another continent.

·         68. What is your sexual orientation? Bi

·         69. What turns you off? I guess like terrible people or things? Like if you say something reprehensible, I’m not gonna be into you

·         70. What turns you on? Almost everything I’m on a fuckin hair trigger

·         71. What was your kinkiest wet dream? Never had a REAL wet dream (never came while sleeping) but the kinkiest sex dream was probably just when I had one about a friend at the time.

·         72. What words do you like to hear during sex? My name. Just general feedback is good too. I like to know what I’m doing right and what I can do better.

·         73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? Ask me to eat them out or suck their dick

·         74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? With men in general, I tend to have higher standards for physical attraction (provided I don’t know them. If I know them, all bets are off). But like big and/or tight, well defined muscles

·         75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? One time a partner asked me how my day was while I was at work and I said a bit rough so they dressed in cute lingerie for when I came home, and said if I’d said I had a lot of energy they were gonna dress like a dominatrix and I still think about it

·         76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? One time I drove from Boston to New York to pick someone up at the airport because they were nervous. Or maybe the time I laid down rose petals on the floor of a minivan so we could romantically fuck in the back

·         77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? Be careful. Its hard to avoid a bad power dynamic, so big age gaps will only work if you’re conscious of the gap. But being conscious of the gap makes the relationship more difficult.

·         78. What’s your dirtiest secret? I don’t really have one, I’m kinda an open book about stuff. I guess the fact that I was into step sister porn for awhile was gross, but that was just cause it’s the only porn with plot most of the time. Also it grosses me out now.

·         79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? In my last relationship, but again see number 13

·         80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? Today lmao

·         81. Who are five people you find attractive? Conveniently, I know 4 people on here in real life so @circumlocutive, @slutty--flamingos (sorry it wont tag for some reason), @jimbobzinga, @fernfolly, and I need a fifth so … I guess one of my exes? I find most people in my life attractive tbh

·         82. Who is the last person you hugged? @circumlocutive

·         83. Who was your first kiss with? My first girlfriend, technically when we were like 5.

·         84. Why did your last relationship fail? Long story, basically I don’t think I’m compatible with polyamory in a relationship setting. If its just fooling around I don’t care, but I have a hard time dating someone who also wants to date other people. I don’t care if my partner wants to fuck other people, that’s fine, but dating others brings up the problems from number 13.

·         85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? I mean I have a tinder so yeah

[the-coldest-goodbye]

Sansa Stark - NSFW Alphabet Headcanons

Sansa Stark x fem!reader

Requested by Anonymous

A/N: I wanted to write something that acknowledged the trauma Sansa would have after her experiences. Because of that, this is less smutty than other NSFW alphabets I’ve written for other characters. It can be hard to figure out how to write trauma and recovery, so quite a bit of this is based on my own experiences with overcoming trauma. I hope I did an okay job.

TW: Mentions of abuse, rape, trauma, and Sansa’s struggles to overcome them.

Also, if you haven’t yet, make sure you check out my SFW alphabet headcanons for Sansa.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Sansa requires a lot of aftercare to feel safe and secure. Cuddle up with her, get extra snug with some furs, and stroke her hair. Check in with how she’s feeling. It’ll mean a lot to her knowing that you care for her wellbeing. Her sexual experiences with you are nothing less than beautiful and loving, but they can still elicit some bad feelings, thoughts, and memories stemming from her past trauma, especially near the start of your physical relationship. Hold her. Listen to her. Make sure she’s warm. Maybe take a bath with her and brush out her hair. Most importantly, stay with her. Don’t rush off. She needs the security of knowing that you care about her and that you won’t leave her when she’s vulnerable.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

She has a difficult relationship with her body. She’s covered in scars, very real reminders of the abuse she suffered at the hands of Ramsay. Sansa rebuilding her appreciation for her body is a long process, but it starts off with her coming to like her hands. She loves the way her fingers look entwined with yours, the way they gently explore your skin, the way they can make you moan in pleasure.

Her favorite part of you is your neck and shoulders region, especially loving to place kisses there and against your collarbones. When you hold her, she’ll bury her face into the curve of your neck or rest her head on your shoulder, feeling secure and at ease.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Sansa finds nothing more beautiful or erotic than how you work so diligently to make her wet and how you then savor her juices. Her only physical experiences before you were with Ramsay, and he didn’t care whether or not it felt good to Sansa. In fact, he got more sick and twisted pleasure from having her suffer. Seeing the way you spend so long teasing her and stimulating her to make her wet and then seeing how you absolutely adore her juices, licking up every last drop, means the world to her. One of the most erotic moments she ever had was the very first time you brought your fingers up to her mouth after you gently dragged them through her folds, urging her to taste herself. Ramsay took pleasure in her pain. You took pleasure in her pleasure.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I’ll explore this a little more under “W = Wild card,” but Sansa’s dirty secret (that you obviously come to learn) is that she’s not straight. In a society like Westeros where strict gender roles reign, queerness is taboo, particularly for someone as high-profile as Sansa.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Sansa’s not experienced when it comes to sex because her experiences with Ramsay weren’t sex; they were torture. She’s very slow to pursue a physical relationship with you, and it’s a learning experience for the both of you as you begin to open up to each other, explore your likes and dislikes at a mindful speed, and become more comfortable with each other. It’s a slow process, but it’s important not to push it too far or too fast.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Initially, Sansa would prefer being on top or having the two of you both laying on your sides because it helps her not feel completely powerless. As she becomes more comfortable with your physical relationship and works through some of her trauma, she sometimes allows you to be on top, but it would take a long time to build up that level of trust for her to feel fully comfortable in that kind of position.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Sansa is quite serious, but she can become a bit more playful and giggly once she feels more secure and becomes more confident during sex. It takes a while to get to that point, though, and sex will never be something she takes lightly. She views it as a very real commitment to each other, and so there will always be a fairly serious undertone during intimate moments.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Her hair down there is naturally pretty short and neat, and so it doesn’t require much upkeep to remain tidy, if any. It’s a similar shade to the color on her head, perhaps a little darker.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Sansa is used to being used as someone’s plaything, being treated like a literal object. Therefore, it’s of utmost importance to her that you two have a strong connection during any sexual act. To keep the experience feeling very real and very human, Sansa likes to make eye contact or be face-to-face. She always tries to remain fully present when the two of you are together. It feels like you’re the only two people in the world when you’re together. It’s never spur of the moment, and the build-up of passion that leads up to the sex really emphasizes the undeniable connection between you two when you make love.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Sansa rarely masturbates.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Honestly, Sansa wants and needs things to be pretty vanilla between you two in bed. Most kinks would either make her feel uncomfortable or foolish. 

This is not a kink per se, but Sansa does tend to be a bit more dominant in bed. She’s actually fairly vers, but she tends to take a slightly more dominant role in bed since she would want to be the one to set the pace and to take the lead to feel more empowered and confident in the experience. It’s a big deal when she is able to trust you enough and feel comfortable enough with you to just lay back and let you take the lead with pleasuring her.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Sex is something she would save for the bedroom. It’s the only place she’d find it appropriate.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

It takes a long time to get Sansa going. First and foremost, she needs to feel loved, secure, and empowered before anything goes down. You need to lay the groundwork much earlier and build up to it slowly over the course of the day with knowing glances, sly smiles, gentle touches, and loving words. There needs to be a development of tenderness and intimacy to make her want to bed you. She isn’t DTF at the drop of a hat.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Sansa would refuse to do anything that made either of you uncomfortable or that would hurt either of you. She is particularly turned off by bondage, gags, and pain. She isn’t into anything too rough or fast, and she also wouldn’t be into extreme dom/sub dynamics. Also, she wouldn’t feel comfortable with being penetrated, at least not for a long time.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Sansa starts off preferring to give oral rather than receive because she’s not ready to have anything like that done to her; but as she grows more comfortable with physical intimacy with you, she comes to enjoy giving and receiving equally. She doesn’t quite know what she’s doing at first, but she’s a fast learner and eager to please you, wanting to hear you whimper and feel you writhe in pleasure because of her.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Your earlier sexual experiences with Sansa are slow paced and shy because of her hesitance, but she becomes more sensual (but still fairly slow) as she grows in confidence. She would much rather take her time and savor the experience. Fast or rough sex would be avoided at all costs, and she would feel relieved that you understood and were fine with that.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Nope, no quickies here. She needs a slow build-up and lots of aftercare.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

At the beginning of your relationship, her past trauma makes any and all sexual interactions feel like a risk. It takes Sansa quite a long time before she even considers physical intimacy with you beyond kissing and cuddling, and so she isn’t game to get experimental too quickly in your sexual relationship. As she gets more confident, though, she’ll get more willing to try out new positions and techniques, but she still wouldn’t be willing to try anything too kinky or risky.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Usually one round is enough for Sansa to call it a night, but sometimes she might surprise you with a second round. Early on in your physical relationship, it takes her a fairly long time to reach orgasm, though, because she’s get stuck in her head and wouldn’t stay present in the moment. When she’d manage to shift her focus to being more in the moment with you, she’d cum quite a bit faster.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

She doesn’t own any toys. If you wanted her to use any on you, she’d be willing to give it a go. She likely wouldn’t want you to use them on her, though.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

As Sansa becomes more confident in her abilities to pleasure you, she sometimes can be a bit of a tease, liking to vary speed and pressure to keep you on your toes.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Sansa is pretty quiet in terms of volume. At first, she would be so quiet that she was very clearly lost in her own head instead of enjoying the moment. You wanted to make sure she was having a nice time, so you encouraged her to speak up and to tell you whether or not she liked what you were doing. She would be shy about it at first, but she would come to communicate quite a bit during sex, telling you what felt good, what didn’t feel good, what she wanted you to do, etc. It meant a lot to her that you always listened to her and empowered her to call the shots while physically intimate. When in pleasure, she moans and gasps lightly and whispers out, “Oh yes, Y/N! Right there. Right there.”

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Sansa Stark ain’t straight!! (My *personal* headcanon is that she’s a lesbian; but for general audience purposes, I’ll just say here that she’s some flavor of Not Straight.) As a child, her fixation on finding her Prince Charming and her idealization of knights in shining armor was a result of their society teaching her that her only goal was to become the perfect wife to the perfect man and to give him the perfect babies to carry on his family name. It’s compulsory heterosexuality, baby!!

Her sapphic awakening came when she developed a crush on Margaery. Their interactions were particularly impactful on Sansa, especially when Margaery would imply that she was attracted to women. Sansa spent a long time repressing her feelings because it doesn’t follow the strict gender roles in Westeros, and so having Margaery imply this really put the idea on the table for Sansa to explore.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Her body is fairly slender with light curves. However, she’s covered in scars and markings from Ramsay. She’d keep them covered up as much as possible because she didn’t want to see them.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Sansa’s sex drive is not very high. Sexual intimacy would happen only if/when she felt ready. She would never want to be used like a sex toy again. She hopes that she’ll have a partner who respects her enough to understand that she needs time instead of pressuring her into anything. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Sansa requires quite a bit of aftercare, so she doesn’t fall asleep quickly.

[fieldfullofbangtan]

bts hc: types of kinks

i have a feeling this blog won’t stay pg 13 for long... while writing this i kinda wanted to make a bts smut series around kinks. maybe look out for that? :p

requests are open!

✎ masterlist

Seokjin

kink: roleplay 

outside of the bedroom he’s always the sweet and goofy Jin

but when it’s about to go down he’ll be anything you want

he wants to please you

sagittarius so he’s hella adventurouos in bed

dom or sub

it’s all up to you

likes teacher student roleplay

and lingerie 

visual king

“It’s yes SIR to you”

Namjoon

kink: bondage play / sensory play

intense

gets hot and bothered  very easily

rough but in a loving way

seeing you tied up is beautiful to him

loves teasing you

which is much easier when you can’t move your hands

blindfolds 

also probably won’t let you come until he says so

“who do you belong to? ... “that’s right babygirl”

Yoongi

kink: choking / humiliation 

boi is a switch

he can be a sub

but a bratty sub

the naughtiest lil shit

but if he’s the dom there’s no mercy

bending you over the kitchen isle

or against a wall while choking you

and he’ll talk shit too

wants everyone in the vicinity to hear you moan his name

“i love how you turn into a dirty slut for me”

Hoseok

kink: public sex / toys

no chill

loves the thrill of going it in public

the risk of being caught just gets him going even more

look hes just dtf anywhere anytime

fave is the practice room tho

cuz mirrors

likes toys

he’ll do everything just to please you a little extra

you’ll be so sore the day after oml

“I might let you come if you ask nicely baby”

Jimin

kink: daddy kink 

might behave like a sub out in public

but this boy is a dom

jealous sex is the best kind of sex

cuz he get’s jealous a lot

and it always leads to rough passionate sex

 a lot of kissing as well

everywhere

goes crazy when you call him daddy

“you make daddy feel so good, i love you so damn much”

Taehyung

kink: thigh riding

love seeing you on his lap

and the way you move drives him crazy

steamy makeout session

collarbone / neck kisses

will wear boxers around the dorm just to tease you

every thigh riding session ends with him all scratched up

and he’ll happily walk around topless to show them off to the boys

“i love seeing you all worked up kitten”

Jungkook

kink: guided masturbation / thigh riding 

knows you can’t resist his thighs

so he’ll flaunt them just like Taehyung

also enjoys wall sex

and shower sex

when your away he gets needy and frustrated

so he’ll call you

cuz he just can’t get off without hearing you voice

tells you what to do over the phone

and lets out a sigh when he can finally hear your moan

[notthetoothfairy]

Alright with You

What is this... a fic?!?!?!?! Yes, you’re reading that right. I’m a bit late but it was @a-simple-rainbow‘s birthday yesterday so I had to honor tradition and do some writing! Happy birthday, my lovely fandom wife! <3 You deserve the world and more, so I apologize that this is just a silly fic and not the world and more. :P

(I’ll upload it on AO3 later, right now it’s late and I need my sleeeeeep)

Disclaimer: This is unbeta’ed and probably poorly written LOL

Inspired by this post

Kurt hates parties. If it weren’t for Quinn’s endless pestering, he probably wouldn’t have shown his face at all.

He wrinkles his nose as he watches a group of jocks start a burping competition.

Yeah, he definitely wouldn’t have come if Quinn hadn’t been so adamant – or rich, for that matter, considering that she promised to buy him lunch for the rest of the school year if he drove her to this one party. The party of the year, apparently. Kurt couldn’t care less about the ranking of this drunken slobberfest they call a party, but he’s not exactly loaded, so the prospect of free lunch was a damn good selling point. Which Quinn knew, obviously.

Also, quite obvious: She ditched him about two seconds into the party, probably to break up or create yet another Glee club love triangle… who even knows. Not Kurt, that’s for sure. But, hey, keeping him company wasn’t part of the deal. Quinn’s objective was to enjoy the party. Kurt is well aware that she won’t be able to do that when all he is likely to provide is snarky commentary.

Ugh, it’s almost like he cares, which is bizarre because this is McKinley’s resident ex-cheerleader barbie Quinn Fabray. If he continues at this rate, he’ll be befriending Rachel Berry next.

Shuddering at the thought, he turns to the drinks table, where he is immediately targeted by Santana Lopez and her signature sly grin.

“Well, well, well, who do we have here?” she asks, faking delight. “What’s your poison tonight, hm?”

With an eyeroll, Kurt makes to push past her. “Not my first rodeo, Satan, I know better than to drink one of your hellish creations.” She blocks his path. “Ugh, you have got to be kidding me. Just hand me one of those cups.”

“What’s the matter, did daddy not allow you to drink alcohol? Or did Quinn Fa-baby momma make you her designated driver?”

Kurt glares at her, and much to his chagrin, Santana’s face just lights up even more.

“Aww, she did! You skanks are just too precious. So… unskanky,” she coos.

Kurt’s growing more annoyed by the second. He hates that Santana is still as unimpressed by his act as ever. The rest of the school has learned to just leave him alone when he suddenly showed up with piercings, bright neon streaks in his hair and a new give-zero-fucks attitude. But Santana is a tougher nut to crack.

He narrows his eyes a bit more for good measure, but she waves him off and reaches behind her to retrieve a light blue solo cup. “There you go, sunshine. Pop or water?”

“Water,” Kurt gets out through gritted teeth. He hates the sugary sweetness of coke and the like, and with water he can at least pretend he’s drinking clear spirits. Or maybe he should do that and just forget about the driving, just like Quinn forgot about him.

But deep down he knows he’ll regret it if he’s not there to take her home, or if his dad figures out he was too drunk to drive. Getting upset with Kurt is way too unhealthy for his heart. Even rebellion has its limits, and Kurt will always choose his dad over his reputation.

He sips his water unenthusiastically, trying to avoid both the dancefloor and the beer pong corner, which results in him creepily staying in a corner near the drinks table, from where at least he can engage in his two favorite sports – people-watching, and, more importantly, people-judging.

He is so enthralled in watching Rachel stealing pathetic glances at Kurt’s step-brother Finn Hudson every two seconds while she’s fake-flirting with two older students that Kurt only notices after a few minutes that she is holding a cup with a very untypical color. He frowns. Bright green, really? Is she that tipsy?

The thing is, Kurt could swear he saw Mercedes Jones sport a pink cup earlier, and everyone knows that if something is available in pink, Rachel will make sure that she has it. Kurt is still traumatized from that one time he saw her bedroom.

He looks over to the drinks station and spots tags next to the towers of cups. The colors are labels. Pink apparently means “taken”, which definitely explains why this is the one time Rachel decided to forgo it. And green is – ah, yeah, “it’s complicated”. Kurt grins. Sure, Rachel. Should have gone with light blue. Single AF, the sign reads.

Kurt tenses uncomfortably as he looks down at his own cup.

Blue.

Santana, that cunning, manipulative devil. Of course she’d be the one who doesn’t buy the rumors Quinn spreads about Kurt’s conquests. She knows Kurt hasn’t so much as touched another guy. Great. He’s gonna have to do something about this. Change the cup to… purple maybe? DTF – down to fuck… ugh, not the best choice but probably what an actually skanky version of Kurt would go for. It’s not like McKinley has an overflow of gay guys who would take him up on the offer. And even if there were gay guys at this party, it’s not like he’s much of a hook-up prospect. His painfully pathetic attempts to get laid at Scandals taught him that. God, maybe he should just grab a full bottle of tequila and kiss this night goodbye.

“Ready to party?” someone shouts next to Kurt. He almost scoffs at them before he realizes it’s Blondie-in-a-Bottle Sam Evans, and he is not talking to Kurt, but to someone next to him, who can only be… ah, yes, Blaine.

Blaine Anderson, the transfer student, who is a bit of a nerd with his gelled hair, dorky colorful bowties and his Star Wars lunch box. Blaine, who may be the only person at the school who doesn’t treat Kurt differently, because – well, because he didn’t know Kurt pre-skank. But also because he just doesn’t seem to mind. Kurt has been paired with him on an assignment once or twice, and if Kurt is completely honest with himself, those were the only times it actively pained him to keep up his tough act. He might have even dialed it down just for Blaine.

As much as he wants to deny it, Kurt has a bit of a crush. Which is not cool. Not cool at all. Unskanky, Santana would say.

He watches Blaine shake and nod his head simultaneously at Sam’s question as they approach the drinks table. Kurt sighs and decides to wait until after they’re done there to change his cup color. He can totally wait for his turn. It’s not like anyone is going to talk to him if he puts his bitchy face on. Which, of course, he has practiced to perfection. So, Creepy Watching and Judging Round Number Two it is.

Getting back into it, Kurt watches Artie Abrams clumsily but somehow successfully butter up to Brittany Pierce, even though they are surrounded by a bunch of very interested, suddenly very pissed off football players.

He chuckles at the way Santana tries to not look affected at all but ends up glaring at everyone attempting to talk to Brittany. Santana thinks she has Kurt figured out? Ha. He’s one step ahead of her. At least she doesn’t know about his pathetic cru-

Damn. He was so lost in thought that he missed the perfect opportunity to slip past Sam and Blaine just as they turned away. Now there’s more people at the stand and as Sam and Blaine move away from the table, they come to a halt right next to Kurt. Shit. How is he supposed to act like he didn’t notice them now?

“Hey, can you hold this?” Sam asks Blaine. “I’ll just be a sec.” He hands Blaine his cup, and Kurt can’t help how his eyes widen when he sees the color. Pink?! Since when is Sam Evans dating someone? Kurt wonders if Quinn knows about it. She usually knows what everyone and their mother are up to.

Blaine stands there awkwardly, and since his blondie sidekick is gone, Kurt dares to give him a once-over. Damn, it should be illegal to look that cute in chinos. Kurt puts his cup to his lips to hide a smile behind the rim. It would have been a smart choice if he hadn’t simultaneously spotted the other cup Blaine is holding. The color makes Kurt almost choke on his water. Audibly.

Blaine turns to him, concerned. “Woah, Kurt, are you okay?”

Damn that purple cup.

“’m fine, thanks” Kurt manages, coughing awkwardly and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Water in the wrong pipe, I guess.” He pauses, grimacing. “Tequila, I mean.”

“Right. Tequila…” Blaine smiles. “I’ll just pretend I didn’t see your Navigator parked down the street.”

Kurt feels a shiver run down his spine at the thought that Blaine might have kept an eye out for his car outside. That’s just… pathetic, Kurt. Get a grip, he tells himself.

“Whatever.” He drawls the word for good measure, trying desperately to nail the tone somewhere between not caring and playful teasing. With a nod to Blaine’s purple cup, he says, “Interesting choice.”

“Rum and coke.” Blaine shrugs. “Pretty classic, I’d say?”

Kurt bites his lip, releasing it quickly. “The color, I mean.”

With a blush, Blaine glances down at his drink. “Oh, I actually would have preferred pink.” He clears his throat. “But Sam poured them wrong by accident, and he’s driving, so I ended up with this one instead.”

Kurt’s careful to not choke on his water this time. So Sam’s not the taken one, Blaine is… what?! Then again, figures. He’s a transfer student. A cute one, at that. Fresh meat and all… McKinley’s singles must go crazy over Blaine. Kurt wonders if maybe he’s misread Blaine’s sexuality.

“Right,” he mutters. Santana couldn’t have picked his cup color any better. Single AF indeed. Fuck this party. “Well, I- I should go see what Quinn’s up to.” He clears his throat. “I’m her DD.”

Blaine blinks, seeming surprised. “Oh… sure.” He shoots Kurt a small grin. “Enjoy the party.”

Kurt scoffs. “Doubt it.”

“Oh. Okay. Uhm… bye then.”

Blaine looks taken aback, and Kurt could smack himself. His stupid temper. He makes an abrupt turn, trying to push the thought of having offended Blaine out of his mind. He shouldn’t be caring about things like dating anyhow. His reputation is on the line. He breathes, one heavy breath in and one out, weaving his way through a sea of hammered people.

He finds Quinn eventually – making out with someone from the swim team in one of the house’s upstairs bedrooms. Of course. Kurt sighs, closing the door behind him when she tells him to “get the fuck out”. As he turns back to the hallway, he almost collides with Mercedes. She raises an eyebrow at him.

“Sneaking off to be alone?” she asks. Kurt can’t decipher whether she sounds snarky or hurt. Out of all the people he’s cut off these past few months, he definitely regrets Mercedes the most.

“Not exactly.” Kurt shrugs. “Just looking for Quinn.”

Mercedes hums in reply. They both do the awkward dance of looking down at their hands and then back up, only to look back down. Kurt’s eyes zero in on the cup in Mercedes’ hands.

He clears his throat. “You’re dating someone?”

For a split second, Mercedes’ face turns red. It’s a good look on her, Kurt thinks, but before he can say anything, her face hardens.

“None of your business,” she says sharply.

“No, no, I know,” Kurt says, holding up his hands. He can’t help but sigh a little. “It’s just…”

“I know.” Mercedes gulps. “I thought you’d be the first to know, too.”

“Mercedes…” Kurt reaches out a hand but pulls it back at the last second, hugging himself instead. Well, this party sucks already, maybe he should just roll with the punches. “I miss you, you know?”

He’s met with another raised eyebrow.

“I know, I don’t show it,” he says hastily. “I never wanted it to be this way, though.”

“I just don’t think any of this is really necessary,” Mercedes says. “We had your back.”

“Well, it wasn’t… there’s- there’s things you don’t know,” Kurt mutters. Karofsky bullying him was one thing. Karofsky threatening to kill him if he told anyone he was gay… very different. “I swear I’d tell you if I could.”

Mercedes bites her lip and smiles a little.

“It’s Sam,” she whispers, leaning closer.

Kurt frowns. “What?”

She holds up her cup. “Sam and I…”

“What?!”

“It’s not that unlikely,” she says, defensive.

Kurt shakes his head quickly. “Uh, no, it’s just – I thought he had a purple cup earlier.”

“Nope.” Mercedes grins. “Definitely pink. I saw him with it just a second ago.”

But it was an accident, Kurt thinks. Blaine said the pink was for him.

“Oh, well… I’m happy for you,” Kurt says, shooting Mercedes his most sincere smile. “Truly.”

“Thanks, Kurt,” she says. “We could hang out sometime maybe…?”

Kurt takes a step back. “I… maybe.”

There’s that sad look again. Kurt closes his eyes to drown it out. Once he feels marginally better, he opens them, bracing himself for more sadness, but – Mercedes is gone.

“Fuck,” he mutters to himself. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Maybe he can’t openly be Mercedes’ friend anymore – but the least he can do is make sure her boyfriend isn’t being a dick to her. He almost races down the stairs back into the living room.

Even more people dancing now. Kurt scans the room for any sign of Sam or Blaine. He growls when he spots them. Of course – they are dancing. He tries not to watch Blaine shimmy his hips to the music, and promptly fails. Damn that boy.

He stomps over, pushing himself between them and staring Sam down.

“You better not hurt her,” he hisses.

Sam’s eyes go huge. “What?”

“You heard me.” Kurt narrows his eyes. “I know your cup was supposed to be purple. Blaine told me. You’re more than lucky to get a chance with someone like Mercedes. If you-”

Sam’s eyes skirt around frantically as he steps closer and tries to shut Kurt up. “Ssssh, what the fuck, don’t tell-”

“Oh, don’t want her to find out you’re on the lookout? Is that why you so conveniently switched cup colors, huh?!”

Blaine dances around Kurt and comes up next to Sam, looking confused and a little dizzy. Kurt honestly almost forgot he was behind him the entire time.

“Sam, ‘s Kurt still angry at me?” he asks, his words slurred.

Sam rolls his eyes. “No, he’s angry at me.”

“What’d chu do?”

“Switch cup colors,” Sam mutters. He turns back to Kurt. “Kurt, man, I swear this is not what you think it is.” He inches closer, and if Kurt wasn’t so focused on defending Mercedes, he’d find it cute how Blaine instinctively does the same, almost touching Kurt’s shoulder. Voice lowered, Sam continues, “Mercedes and I are keeping it on the down low for a while.”

“Yeah, right.” Kurt laughs in disbelief. “Which is why you’re both sporting pink?”

“Well, we’re not telling anyone who exactly- that’s beside the point, though.” Sam sighs. “If I was going to cheat on her, why would my cup say that I’m taken, Sherlock?”

Kurt blinks. He hadn’t thought of that.

“Where does it say that?” Blaine asks, looking down at Sam’s cup.

Kurt replays what Blaine told him earlier in his head. He wanted pink, but Sam switched them. He didn’t say anything about the meaning…

“Blaine doesn’t know about the color codes,” Kurt concludes.

Sam shoots him a grin. “I was just messing with him a little. I knew you were going to-” He blinks quickly. “Uh, forget that part.”

Kurt tries to ignore the way his heartbeat speeds up a little at that. What is Sam’s plan? And does it mean Blaine is single after all? And why does he care oh-so-much?

“Wha’s goin’ on?” Blaine asks, alternating between staring at Kurt and staring at Sam.

Kurt gives Sam the sideeye before turning to Blaine. “Blaine, your cup color means you’re DTF.”

“What’s DTF?” Blaine asks immediately.

“How much has he had to drink?” Kurt asks at the same time as Sam says, “Down to fuck.”

Blaine whips around to face Sam. “You told him I’m down to fuck?!”

Sam breaks out into laughter. “I didn’t but you just did…” He turns to Kurt and winks. “I think I’ll leave you to it. I’m gonna go find Mercedes.”

“Sam, wait!” Kurt says, cursing his helpless voice. God, what is he going to with this info now? Sam doesn’t turn around.

Blaine stares after Sam before turning to Kurt. “Kurt, if Sam leaves me here alone, can you drive me home? I could break into a car and try it myself but… I think I’m too-” He sways a little on his feet. “Tipsy.”

“Ya think?” Kurt huffs out a laugh, reaching out his hand to steady Blaine. “Okay, first things first. Have some of my water. And, uh… let’s go somewhere outside to get you sobered up, okay?”

Blaine’s face lights up at that. He reaches for Kurt’s hand, but Kurt withdraws, looking around nervously. He tries to ignore Blaine’s furrowed eyebrows and his pout, instead pushing him through the crowd by the shoulders. When he’s finally got them outside in the miraculously empty backyard, he lets himself breathe. Deep breath in, deep breath out.

Blaine watches him, surprisingly attentive in his drunken state.

“Do you hate me?” he asks timidly.

“Wh- what?” Kurt stutters.

Blaine looks down at his feet. “I never know what to think with you.”

“I don’t hate you, Blaine,” Kurt says, stepping closer. “Drink some more water.”

Kurt takes the pink cup from Blaine before he can raise it to his mouth.

“The other cup. That’s your rum and coke.”

“Oh.” Blaine nods, and gulps down the contents of Kurt’s cup, holding it with both hands like a child. Kurt bites back a smile. Why is he even cuter when he’s drunk? When he’s done, Blaine holds the cup up in Kurt’s face. “So, what does blue mean?”

Kurt rolls his eyes. “Single as fuck.”

“Are you?” Blaine asks curiously, eyes flitting between Kurt’s face and the cup.

Kurt tries to hide his blush by pushing a strand of pink hair out of his face. “I guess I am.”

“Oh, alright.” Blaine gives a slight nod. “Cool.”

Kurt can’t help but laugh at the way he tries to act nonchalant. “Yeah? That alright with you?”, he asks.

“Yeah…” Blaine drops his eyes and then shoots them back up at Kurt with an intensity that makes Kurt’s knees go weak. “Very.”

“Blaine…” he breathes out, hyperaware of how close their faces are. He clears his throat, looking around for something to do. He decides on setting their cups down on a nearby windowsill. His eyes linger on the pink one.

“Why’d you want that color?” he asks Blaine, putting his hands in his pocket now that he has nothing to hold.

“Hm?” Blaine follows Kurt’s line of sight. “Oh. Uh.” His eyes find Kurt’s again, then flicker up to Kurt’s hair. “I just really like pink.”

Kurt can’t find it in himself to hide his blush this time. “Oh… alright.”

“Yeah?” Blaine smiles. “Alright with you?”

“Oh, shut up,” Kurt laughs. Throwing all caution in the wind, he adds, “I’m not the one who admitted he’s down to fuck.”

Blaine inhales sharply. “I can’t believe Sam told you that.”

“Actually, you did,” Kurt says, tilting his head.

“Oh god, I did, didn’t I?” Blaine asks, looking like he’s trying to read Kurt’s face. “And… is that alright with you?”

Kurt wants to say something witty, or just confirm, or something – but his brain short-circuits and what he ends up blurting is, “I’m a virgin!”

“Oh, well, I mean… me too… it’s not like I meant right now…” Blaine mutters, visibly flustered. His face goes all red. It’s so. Damn. Cute. “I just…”

Kurt squeezes his eyes shut for a second, trying to focus his thoughts. “It’s alright with me,” he says. “Maybe not right now, but…”

“Gotcha.” Blaine exhales, and Kurt can feel his breath on his face. How did they get so close again? Blaine laughs nervously. “Wow, I’m feeling very sober all of a sudden.”

“Yeah?” Kurt feels a rush of heat streaming through his body. “Funny. I feel kinda drunk.”

They’re both silent for a beat, looking at each other, before they lean in at the same time. Kurt’s lips land on Blaine’s a little off-center but they adjust as Blaine pulls him in, threading his fingers through the hair at the back of Kurt’s head. Kurt makes a muffled noise, grabbing Blaine’s shirt on both sides and holding on for dear life, dragging Blaine closer, kissing him harder. He wasn’t prepared for how good this would feel. He wasn’t prepared for how much he would want to-

“Wait, wait, wait,” Kurt gasps out. “Fuck. I-”

“What’s wrong?” Blaine asks, concerned.

“I’m not… we’re not…” Kurt sighs. “This is gonna be a problem. We can’t-”

“Why not?”

“I’m… well… ugh. I have a lot to lose, let’s put it that way,” Kurt says grimly.

Blaine lets his hands fall to his sides, his body deflating.

“Don’t be mad,” Kurt pleads.

“I’m not,” Blaine says. “But I guess I kind of hoped I was a lot to gain.”

There it is again, the urge to smack his stupid head against the nearest wall. Why does he keep doing this to others? To himself? If he could just be himself…

Kurt takes in Blaine’s face, studying his eyes and those ridiculously long eyelashes and thick eyebrows that kept distracting him the first time they had to do an assignment together. He remembers how Blaine’s enthusiasm and his cute quirks pulled him in from the get-go, how he kept hoping they’d be paired together for more assignments… how kissing him just now felt like he could do anything and get away with it…

Oh, to hell with these charades.

Quinn’s eyebrows rise when she catches Sam and Mercedes kissing on the front porch, but they almost disappear beneath her hairline when she sees Kurt on the dance floor – goofing off with Blaine and smiling like an utter idiot. Of course. She should have known. He’d never tell her the truth, but it’s always been kind of obvious how soft he got around him.

“I take partial credit for that,” Santana drawls next to Quinn, leaning her elbow on Quinn’s shoulder. “He needed a bit of a push.”

“Who knew you had such match-making skills.” Quinn makes to turn towards Santana to grin at her but spots Karofsky and Azimio in the crowd, scowling. “Oh, fuck.”

“What?” Santana follows her gaze and balls her fists. “Don’t worry about them. They’re making those faces because I just twisted their nads and put them in their place. I have them under control.”

Quinn shakes her head fondly. “You’re actually a pretty good friend, Santana.”

Santana looks like she wants to disagree for a second but then she just shrugs.

“Yeah, yeah… just don’t tell Kurt.”

Kurt beams when Mercedes and Sam finally show up together, joining Blaine and him on the dance floor.

Blaine and Sam seem to be engaged in a secret conversation involving nods, winks and fist-bumping, so Kurt turns to Mercedes.

“Are we okay?” he asks her.

She smiles back at him. “We’re peachy. Or at least we’re gonna be.”

Relief floods his body. This party is turning out to be so much better than anticipated. And maybe, just maybe… everything will be alright.

[blakegallo]

Is this shade about Kevin's love life? Please say yes because I cant believe bitches out here acting like Joaquin gonna show up and save Kevin from Moose.

at this point i’m not ruling joaquin showing up. if clifford had a long lost twin i’m not going to say that joaquin doesn’t have a brother named juan or jose or jeremiah or some other shit that could show up. riverdale loves to pull from soap operas for their plotlines. so far nothing has been too crazy for this show?

my real issue is this retroactive thinking that kevin/joaquin had this really epic love story? that was based on any kind of like… communication? 

but i think that my issue is i fundementally view kevin keller differently than the rest of the fandom? kevin is a fucking slut. like. even before the season 2 scene with him cruising in fox forest season 1 established him as a person that enjoys casual sex. and good for him. i’m all for conventionally attractive white boys out here living their best lives on television.

that said, let’s go back to kev + joaquin. the first night they meet kev only approaches joaquin because joaquin is giving him them “you dtf” eyes… like. that’s it. let’s continue with season one, casey isn’t a series regular so he doesn’t have a lot of play. after 1.04 the next big kev + joaquin scene is at jug’s birthday in 1.10, where again they’re seen making out and kev asking about hooking up. in this episode we also see that fp told joaquin to use kev to keep tabs on where tom was with the investigation.

all of that is fine, all of this development is perfectly normal for this kind of murder mystery plot. i don’t take any issue with this storytelling. like it is what it is. 

after this though in the next two episodes we see that kev is upset that joaquin was using him. it blows up and kev + the core four use this revelation to get joaquin to tell him what he knows about jason’s death and that eventually leads to joaquin leaving riverdale. so of the twelve episodes of season one that joaquin was around in, their relationship was not a large focus of either of their storylines, the bulk of their time spent together was them kissing and when they weren’t kissing joaquin was using kev. and kev + joaquin were obviously never given the time to develop anything past this, and in the two subsequent seasons when joaquin has made an appearance we never get to see him and kev work through what was obviously an issue for kevin.

i will also take this time to say that joaquin as a character has never been serviced by the plot. this isn’t the first time i’ve talked about any of this, and ever time i have i’ve said that joaquin desantos was ras favorite plot device. he was only ever inserted into the plot when it was convenient to the narrative.

we literally know nothing about jaoquin desantos other than he’s a southside serpent…. correct me if i’m wrong, but like, dude was never a character.

now let’s talk about kev + moose. yes, they started off highly sexual. and you know what if moose flashed his horse dick at me in the winter formal bathroom i would have taken his ass to sweet water river too? the fuck??? 

again we don’t really know much about moose other than he’s a closeted bisexual football player? so like, you could argue he’s a plot device too, i’m not gonna stop you from doing that.

i’m also not going to say that you shouldn’t be upset that ras decided to fridge midge to make this ship happen. and i’m not going to sit here as someone that loves moose + kevin that that was a good idea or plan. because obviously it wasn’t? like it doesn’t take a genius to see that. 

but this thing where people hold midge dying against moose and vilifying him because he’s with kevin now? like stop. midge dying is in no way moose’s fault, and given the fact that the last time midge was in danger he acted like a human shield and took all of the bullets like… maybe let’s stop acting like moose didn’t care about midge and has only ever wanted to fuck kevin? i’m not arguing that moose was faithful bc we know he wasn’t, but i think that the canon evidence of moose caring about her is there. and yeah he might have cared but that doesn’t mean he was a good boyfriend and if midge were still around i would want her to leave him and be with someone that was y’know actually a good boyfriend? but we don’t get to live in that world and so what we have is a dead midge that deserved better, and now that she is dead i think that soem people upset that moose would move on is so wild? the writing on this show is terrible, but that aside it’s not really your place to tell someone how long they should be grieving for the death of their partner?

even if moose were the most faithful and he wasn’t trying to fuck kev or make out with cheryl, it’s not your place to tell someone that they should still be broken up over the death of their girlfriend? i feel like that’s stepping over a line a little and just reeks of entitlement? you don’t have to agree with moose moving on, but to hold the fact that he has moved on against him is wild?  

we’ve known that moose and midge were dating literally since the pilot. i’m pretty sure kev name drops midge when he’s talking to veronica that first day at lunch. 

and i don’t say any of this to justify moose as a cheater. like. pass.

but moose being a cheater is literally just part of his of character at this point. like he was full on making out with cheryl at jug’s birthday party so excuse me if the cheater is equal opportunity. he’s not surprising anyone? 

all of that brings us to where we are currently. where i’m still here for kev + moose because i’ve been with them since the pilot and their journey to getting together has been a hot ass mess… but you know the gays on this show are all in that boat? only archie seems to get to have really nice and and lowkey carefully crafted love interests. grundy + farm lady aside.

my issue with all of the lgbt characters that riverdale has introduces is fundementally the same though, none of them seem to ever get to have a storyline that isn’t solely about their significant other. yes, the core four have had their share of relationship drama, but they also get moments that the other five don’t?

neither one of these relationships started in a good place and only one of them has ever been given the opportunity to talk. kev + moose had the hospital scene [ which is hands down my fave thing that riverdale has ever done ] and the diner w/ midge. none of these characters have ever really been made central enough to the main plot  [ again kev + joaquin were loosely important to the finale of season 1, but eh… ] let alone important enough to the writers to be given the development that they need. so comparing the ships to me really is apples and oranges because neither was given a solid foundation and even though kev + moose is “flourishing” is it tho? 

it really does do a disservice to both ships in my opinion to keep trying to compare them and act as though one of them is superior? 

at the end of the day people can ship whatever they want to ship and support what they want to support. but like, you’re not any better than someone who ships the other?????

but also leave my trash son moose alone. he’s already been shot repeatedly he doesn’t need you dragging him for being trash.

[doublebabyboy]

what got7 are like in bed

obv this is just my opinion, i’d happily discuss them w you if youd msg me or send me an ask but yeah

warning: smut (obviously)

mark:

probably a little flustered at first

but the more he warms up to you, the more of a tease he becomes

not exactly a hardcore dom or sub, just a top since he’s pretty lowkey

but would bottom for you if you asked

just likes being on top bc he likes doing all the work

giver > receiver

he gets off on whatever you get off on, not really any major kinks or turn ons on his part, except one i’ll get onto later down the list

knows how crazy his voice can drive you and takes full advantage of it

so therefore; dirty talk

doesn’t really know what to say tho so just focuses on how good you make him feel

“fuck baby you’re so tight” “mmm that feels good”

uses “baby” or “babygirl” a lot

relatively quiet apart from dirty talk, occasional quiet moans

but if you pull his hair he won’t be able to help a louder moan slipping out

now onto the part you’ve been waiting for, his one major turn on:

hickeys

have you fuckign seen his teeth?? his lil canines?? perfect for hickeys im tELLing you

loves marking (pun intended BAD UM TSS) all over your neck, collarbones, and inner thighs

not into like super dark large bruises but more like lots of small lovebites scattered all over the place

the reason why he’s mostly quiet is bc if his mouth isnt whispering dirty things in your ear, its on your skin

doesn’t really have a fav position as long as it gives easy access to your neck

can only go once but can last a looooong time; best at self control apart from jinyoung

pretty needy, doesn’t like vocalizing it tho

so he’d probably try to give you the hint subtly like casually rubbing your inner thigh and giving you that look with dark eyes as he bites his lip subconsciously

usually that’s all it takes but if you decide to tease him he’ll break eventually, he’ll lean close right next to your ear and whisper “please baby,” and move your hand to his bulge and fffuck you can’t resist that

jaebum:

sigh

yall know he’s a daddy

sorry if you dont like the kink but have you seen jaebum,,, hes a daddy

HELLA DOM

might sub for you like once a year but he won’t be a good boy

probably a huge brat that keeps trying to take control again so you’d probably have to handcuff him or physically restrain him from taking over somehow

if not, he will flip you over and fuck you into the mattress for even attempting

but anyways if you dont like daddy he’d settle for master or sir but if you’d rather just use his name he’d still want to be very in control

whatever name you’re using, you’d be screaming it

tells you to be quiet and not make a noise, but actually loves it when you’re vocal, he just tells you off so he can have an excuse to punish you or just tease you and see how far he can push you

loves pushing your limits

groans loudly when you clench around him

dirty talk

“you’re such a good girl for daddy” “don’t make daddy punish you” “i own this pretty little cunt, got it?”

likes marking you where everyone can see, the smug bastard

bondage (giving)

edging!! hes such a tease

orgasm denial if you’re being a brat

will not let you come unless you’re begging

if you come early he’ll rile you up again only to leave you hanging or with a dry orgasm

wants you to be his good girl but enjoys the challenge of a brat

“babygirl” “baby” “kitten” “pet”

prefers giving oral because he likes watching you squirm

makes you cum multiple times from his tongue

won’t deny a blowjob though

threads his hands in your hair and pulls harshly, letting out low grunts

likes to come inside you

jackson:

oh boy

switch but probably won’t be a whiny sub/good boy

very vocal either way

sweet talk and praise aaaaaaaaall the way

“you’re taking my cock so well baby” “fuck princess you’re so good to me”

pet names!!

“princess” “baby” “angel” “babygirl” you name it

b o d y  w o r s h i p

treats your body like a temple; loves every inch of it

kisses eeeeverywhere

likes marking your thighs

just loves your thighs in general hes a thigh man

thigh highs??? o o f he’s wrecked

loooves lingerie, will move your panties to the side and leave it on if you decide to wear it

sobs tHIGH RIDING have you seen this mans thighs

and the way he lowkey gave jinyoung a lap dance when he said he wanted to feel his “manly thighs”? he would so get off on watchin you get off on his thigh

loves receiving head but always insists on repaying the favour

shameless moaning; will tell you what youre doing good

likes it when you tell him what he’s doing right or just tell him what to do, he wants to do anything in his power to please you

im sobbing he’d treat you like a QUEEN

you’re more vanilla? he got it. you wanna be rough and kinky? gladly. you wanna tie his to the bed post? fuck it, sure. want it slow and romantic? any day of the week. wanna call him daddy? why not. the list goes on

would be okay with threesomes if it was with someone he was close to/trusted enough to know they’d treat you well, maybe even a poly partner

doesnt mind if its ffm or mmf i get the feeling he’s bi anyways

very caring and attentive to your needs

is quite needy himself tho

always dtf

“princess i’m so hard for you...can you help me out?”

king of aftercare

would clean you up and cuddle you

probably end up going for round four in the shower if you clean up int here tho

this man has stamina and WILL go multiple times, wants you to do the same

jinyoung:

soft dom

probably the most vanilla out of the group imo

really romantic

when he has time, likes to set up the mood by putting rose petals everywhere and like mood lighting maybe with some scented candles and like music??

wants the full experience yknow

not a huge fan of quickies but will do them if he gets a boner he cant get rid of at a bad time

still tho, a huge tease

intense eye contact

will smirk at you and just hover over you, waiting for you to cave in and beg him to touch you

always goes down on you before going in, he knows foreplay is important, plus he loves being in between your legs

mainly bc he lives off the sounds of your moans and whimpers

music to his ears

likes giving it to you nice and slow until you urge him to go faster

tends to only go once or twice himself but if you want more he’d happily go down on you again afterwards or use his fingers

body worship; but probably not to jackson’s extent

also quite quiet in terms of moans, mostly just low grunts and lots of erratic breathing

always asks if you’re okay

sweet talk sweet talk

literally the definition of whispering sweet nothings into your ear as he makes love to you

how pretty you look under him, how good you’re being, how much he loves you

most of the time loving and gentle but if you prefer more rough sex he’s down for that too

will leave hickeys in places where people can’t see, he likes knowing that you hide a dirty little secret under those clothes

has the most self-control in the group, can hold back for a long time because he always insists on you coming first and refuses to come before you

youngjae:

im already dying

ultimate sub

fucking fight me youngjae is the biggest sub ever he’s babyboy culture

might top for you if youre a hella sub too but never full on dom, ever

would be really blushy and flustered and always asking if he’s hurting you

seems pretty vanilla when he tops, lets his inner freak out as a bottom

extremely, extremely vocal

just can’t help the moans and whines tumble out of his mouth when you make him feel so good

he starts off biting his lip to try stay quiet but it does’t really work

eventually just lets it all out and is very loud

his moans would be the most delicious noises in the world

loves it when you talk dirty to him

just do it

talk dirty to him

it makes him feel so filthy and he basks in it

CALL HIM BABYBOY he’s so weak for that

likes being completely powerless and surrendering to you and letting you have your way with him

just loves it when you tell him what to do

pull on his hair pull on his hair he will go w i  l d

won’t bring it up or suggest it but if you used toys on him he’d go crazy

would love to use a toy you’ve already used on yourself, again it makes him feel dirty and he loves it

degrade him or praise him or a mix of both, either way he’ll love it

probably would struggle to form proper sentences so just moans a lot and lets out strings of curses and moans your name,, loudly,,

unless you havent gotten the message already HE LOUD

will ask you for hickeys, he loves when you cover him in them, he’ll just look at them in the mirror the next day in awe

pretty low self control but can come multiple times

highkey likes being overstimulated

needs aftercare; clean him up and give him lots and lots of cuddles

and food bc who doesn’t like food

tell him he did well and he’ll melt into a puddle if he hasn’t already

im so wrecked for sub youngjae oh y god

im not ok

bambam:

FUCKING HELP ME BAM IS MY ULT BIAS THIS IS GONNA GET LOOONG (much longer than the others im sorry im biased)

like his dick ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

no but fr

bambam is big

think about it ok on live tv he publicly said his iconic how do you know line then looked down at his dick like any horny teenager, and in the same episode, pointed at his dick repeatedly as his “sexy version” of just right and hip thrusted when meant to do a cute version of if you do

do you really think he’d be that confident if he didn’t have anything to back it up??? no ok BAMBAM IS BIG

anyways getting to it - bambam is the Ultimate Switch™ dont even @ me

he will be all cocky and say he’s a dom and heck he’ll be a dom and a damn good one

but he will jump at the opportunity to sub for you any day of the week

probably would start off really awkward leading to lots of giggly and playful sex

even once he’s gotten familiar with you, there would probably still be a fair amount of giggly and playful sex

has lots of turnons, likes both giving and receiving for all of them

he is a freak im telling you lemme just list a few things

hair pulling - moans really loudly if you pull his hair and probably swears, also pulls on your hair w/out realising it but once you respond by moaning he will take full advantage of it to hear you

hickeys - second to mark on the hickey loving list, only he loves receiving as much as giving, loves finding your sweet spot and concentrating on it

scratching - rake your nails down his back as he tops you, he loves the burning sensation it gives him, also will probably do the same if you’re topping

bondage, probably just restraining hands tho but i mean. if you whip out a harness or some kinky shit he wouldn’t be opposed to it

honestly he’s really livin the yolo life he’d try anything once bc why the fuck not

dirty talk dirty talk

his mind his filthy; his mouth is filthy

“babygirl you’re so tight around my cock” “do that again princess” “fuck you look so hot under me”

“babygirl” “baby” “princess” “kitten” again, you name it, he’s down

won’t ask for it, but will get a hella ego boost if you call him daddy

but still not as into it as jaebum

does anything he can to make you moan, he could listen to your moans all day

very observant of all the little things that make you tick so you can have the best experience he can give you

very shameless moaner after passing the initial awkwardness of the first few times

second loudest moaner next to youngjae fffuuuuck imagine his moans for a second just hjdksjk

as a sub: he loves it when you tie him up and overstimulate him with assorted toys and yourself, obviously

give him a vibrator and a vibrating cockring and ride him and pull his hair he will go absolutely insane, it overwhelms him so much and he loves it

says he hates being overstimulated but actually enjoys the pain

as a dom: he likes fucking you hard and fast, secretly loves when you’re a brat because he sees it as a challenge and loves the thrill of battling you for dominance (but sometimes lets you win bc its hot)

will probably use toys on you and make you come over and over again for him bc he cannot get enough of seeing you come, he’ll overstimulate you as well

either dom or sub: he loves oral, both giving and receiving, you could argue he likes it better than penetration

have you seen his lips oh my godddd those were made for giving head (and making out. or just kissing in general. help me i love bambams lips)

he loves the way his mouth can make you moan and writhe so much, he could probably live between your legs if you let him, making you come multiple times

also hella into face riding sit on his face oh god just sit on his face

pull on his hair pull on his hair pull on his hair he’ll moan into you

looooooooooves receiving head too, moans loudly and grips your hair harshly

doesn’t fuck your face but just pulls on your hair and moves at whatever pace you set

also loves coming inside you, but second favourite is on your face

also super needy, probably has the highest sex drive

his cocky ass would send you nudes if you weren’t around

if you were around, he’d come up to you and give you a back hug, pressing up his boner against your ass to not so subtly hint his problem

if you ignored him, he’d start kissing your neck and humming

and if you continued ignoring him, he’d whisper really close to your ear, his voice all raspy and low and say something like “don’t play hard to get babygirl, i know you want this dick,” then proceed to tell you in explicit detail all the things he’d do to you

at that point you wouldn’t be able to hold back anymore

this is way too long already but i hAvE to adD

r i s k y  s e x

he would be so into the thrill and adrenaline it got him he’d get off to that so hard

it would be like a game to him, see how many different places he can do it and get away w it

probably would do it in the same room as his members ngl

maybe even with his members, i also see him as the type to be open to threesomes or polyamory

loves making out w/ you which usually leads to sex unless its a rlly soft loving moment

probably still gonna lead to sex bc believe it or not, the kinky fucker is still capable of making love to u hdsjsk

ok i think i just wrote an essay here im so sorry ill stop

yugyeom:

97 line? maknae line? more like Ultimate Switch™ line

openly admits he’s a switch unlike bambam who tries to say hes a dom

actually i think he shares a lot of things with bambam

not even gonna lie they’ve probably hooked up once or twice when they got wasted

still friends tho with no regrets but it was a thing

either hella intense dom or whiniest sub with no in between

goes from daddy to babyboy in like 0.0002 secs

(probably not into being called daddy tho)

proooobably has a noona kink when he’s subbing

the only member who can beat bambam in his hair pulling kink, he love love loooves it when you pull his hair he lets out the softest moans

in general, his moans are high pitched and whiny and ughghhh h o t

will go crazy if you call him babyboy or pet but mainly babyboy

even if he’s subbing he likes to be the one doing the work bc he’s fast and damn those dancer hips so he’s probably too impatient to let you do it lol

but you like to tease him so sometimes you’d tie him up and ride him real slow until he’s begging you and whimpering to speed up

peg him he loves that shit

honestly he may be a hella switch but as soon as your mouth is on his dick he is a babyboy there’s nothing he can do about it

he will moan and pet your hair and pull it when he comes

doesn’t like blowjobs bc he’s embarrassed at how fast he loses it compared to his usual stamina

which is a lot btw, he can go on forever istg

perks of being a main dancer

speakin of main dancer

his s e x y  d a n c e s

would gladly give you a lap dance beforehand of just a full on fucking strip show this boy is wild

would gladly accept any lap dances or strip shows also lolololol

overall very rough and impatient bc he’s a horny boy

probably second highest sex drive next to bams

gets all pouty if you deny him too long

then fucks you into the wall out of frustration dAMN

unless you plan on punishing him for being so needy ohohohoh

okay im gonna call it quits before this becomes a novel

hope y’all enjoyed bc damn i sure did

[goforwardgreenwriter-blog]

The Worm Reads: Empire of Storms, Ch 1 - 2

 Book: Empire of Storms

Author: Sarah J. Mass

Ah, my dear readers, what can one say about SJM? While I do admit there is some value in a few of her books (I quite enjoyed the early t0g novels) to say her writing has stirred controversy is a bit of an understatement. There are arguments for and against why her series are problematic and toxic, why her world building is atrocious and her characters overpowered and unlikable, but I believe every author deserves a chance. Let’s see if we can give EoS a good fair shake to see whether it holds up or not, shall we?

The prologue of this book starts right off with Princess Elena Galathynius and her broad shouldered boy toy Gavin (we all know SJM does enjoy herself a broad shouldered man or two) angsting over the inevitable doom and deaths of their friends while planning to flee the battle to buy themselves more time. I won’t bore you with details; it’s separate from the main plot, short, and doesn’t offend me that much. Moving on!

Chapter One

The real story kicks off with Elide Lochan, a character from the previous novel, running through the woods. Elide was one of the few characters I found myself endeared towards, for her sweet yet strong personality and her relationship with Manon.

Weeks. It had been weeks since Manon Blackbeak and the Thirteen had left her in this forest, the Wing Leader ordering her to head north. To find her lost queen, now grown and mighty—and to also find Celaena Sardothien, whoever she was, so that Elide might repay the life debt she owed to Kaltain Rompier.

For those not aware, SJM is extremely found of em dashes. Like, she uses them a lot. I’m guilty of this too, but at least I have the sense to edit them out before publishing works! Also oof, I can smell Celaena gushing coming up.

Unfortunately, Elide had learned the hard way about what water to drink. Three days, she’d been near death with vomiting and fever after gulping down that stagnant pond water. Three days, she’d shivered so badly she thought her bones would crack apart.

While I like the imagery used here, since you get the full picture of how cold she was..... Shouldn’t the sentence be “For three days”? Just stating three days and what she was doing has no connection.

She’d run out of food a week ago and had taken to scavenging for berries. They were all foreign, but a whisper of a memory from her years with her nursemaid, Finnula, had warned her to rub them on her wrist first— to see if they raised any reaction.

I actually really like this, It shows Elide is smart, has a good memory, and is resourceful. SJM, please don’t mess her up.

Maybe she’d made a wrong turn. How would she know when she’d crossed Terrasen’s border, anyway? And how would she ever find her queen—her court?

Unghhhhh she doesn’t mean Aelin does she? If Elide is used only to gush and fangirl over what an amazing queen Aelin is I’m gonna be ill.

Elide hears wyverns flying by and hides, before realizing....

Not witches or wyverns or beasts. But someone—someone was watching her. Someone was following her.

Manon has come to sweep her girlfriend off her feet! Right...?

Lorcan Salvaterre had been running from those gods-damned beasts for two days now.

Oh god no.

Here’s the thing; I like Lorcan as a villain. He was a threat that at least made the main characters sweat a little in the previous novel, to my memory. Surely he will continue to be a villain, perhaps Elide’s main rival in this novel? After all we have a paragraph describing how he tortured and killed some witches, so surely-

He’d been hiding here first, listening to the clamor of [Elide’s] clumsy approach, and had watched her stumble and limp when she finally heard what swept toward them. She was delicately built, small enough that he might have thought her barely past her first bleed were it not for the full breasts beneath her close-fitting leathers.

I’M... SPEECHLESS. Why is that what Lorcan notices about her?? Not her mature vibe, perhaps the determination on her face, but her breasts? He doesn’t even know this girl!! Also, just because a girl has big breasts doesn’t mean she’s older. I know girls as young as 14 with huge breasts. And while I like that SJM does acknowledge periods, which so many YA authors act like they don’t exist, the focus of it here makes me... uncomfortable.

The demon-possessed girl limped up the streambed, that useless knife still out, her grip on its hilt wholly ineffective. Good. And so Lorcan began his hunt.

Oh, so maybe he is going to be an enemy during this novel? I’d read a showdown between them. Preferably with Elide outwitting and kicking his ass.

Chapter 2

Crouched beside the brook, empty skins forgotten on the mossy bank, Aelin Ashryver Galathynius extended a scarred hand over the rushing water and let the song of the early-morning storm wash over her.

*inhales* Oh Aelin. A character most hate, and one I just honestly don’t know. There’s times where I like how arrogant and show off she can be, but other times she aggravates me, mostly due to the whole lost queen thing. 

She breathed in the chill mists and fresh rain, dragging them deep into her lungs. Her magic guttered in answer, as if yawning good morning and tumbling back to sleep.

I actually like the way SJM describes magic, as if its its own sentient being that lives within its owner. Too bad there’s no magic system or anything actually done with this imagery. 

Across the brook, atop a mossy boulder tucked into the arms of a gnarled oak, a pair of tiny bone-white fingers flexed and cracked, a mirror to her own movements. Aelin smiled and said so quietly it was barely audible over the stream and rain, “If you have any pointers, friend, I’d love to hear them.”

The Little Folk illustrate my biggest issue with SJM; she comes up with cool fantasy concepts and characters, and never does anything with them. The Little Folk serve little purpose (ha), but I love them!! I love this scene with the Little Folk mirroring her movements. But I’m willing to wager SJM is never gonna bring them up again.

But they’d left small gifts just outside the border of Rowan’s nightly shields, somehow deposited without alerting whichever of them was on watch.

I’m stanning the Little Folk. They’re magic and skilled enough to outwit even Rowan and they bring them cute handmade gifts? Give me a Little Folk spin off.

Soggy leaves crunched behind her, and Aelin knew it was only because Rowan wanted her to hear his approach. “Careful, or they’ll leave something wet and cold in your bedroll next time.”

*inhales* Hoo boy, Aelin/Rowan time. This should be... interesting.

Strong hands slid over her waist, tugging her into his warmth, as Rowan’s lips grazed her neck, right under her ear. Aelin arched back into him while his mouth roved across her throat, heating mist-chilled skin. “Good morning to you,” she breathed.

And already they’re acting hornier than teenagers right now. Great. I mean, I’m not opposed to characters being in sexual relationships or expressing this, but God, these two take it waaaay too far. They think about sex 24/7 and it gets exhausting after a while. 

“If you want to take a bath so badly,” Rowan murmured against her neck, “I spotted a pool about a quarter mile back. You could heat it—for both of us.” She ran her nails down the back of his hands, up his forearms. “I’d boil all the fish and frogs inside it. I doubt it’d be very pleasant then.”

(...)

A dark laugh against her now-burning skin. It was an effort to keep from taking one of his hands and guiding it up to her breasts, to beg him to touch, take, taste.

Like, can we get them having a nice romantic moment without them being so sex hungry for once? I barely have any feel of a connection between them aside from the fact that they are DTF. I wouldn’t have an issue if this was an erotica novel, but this is supposed to be epic fantasy.

Aelin expositions about how they’re planning to meet some lords from Terrasen, and how Lorcan is under the impression that he has the real Wyrdkey. Hopefully this means we’ll be getting some awesome fantasy content soon.

He gave her a wry smile and aimed a pointed look at Goldryn, sheathed across her back, and the various knives strapped to her. “And besides: I thought ‘cloak-and-dagger’ was your middle name.” She offered him a vulgar gesture in return.

Wait, why is SJM censoring the middle finger? I’d understand if this was an actual YA novel, but this book has graphic sex scenes. Why can’t she write Aelin flipping someone off? Unless Aelin is doing some other hand gesture?

No matter that Aelin was the bearer of a weapon capable of wiping out this entire valley, along with the gray Staghorn Mountains watching over it. And that was just her magic.

*sigh* We get it SJM, Aelin is the most special powerful sorcerer to ever exist. 

“You trust nothing.” She met his eyes. “I trust you.”

If this was for a ship I liked, I’d be squealing with delight. But then the two of them proceed to make out yet again, and immediately the smile on my face dies as I am forced to yet again read paragraphs of Rowan forcing his tongue down Aelin’s throat.

So Aelin kissed Rowan gently, his hands again locking around her hips. “Fireheart,” he said onto her mouth. “Buzzard,” she murmured onto his.

Okay, I will admit. Couples having special nicknames for each other is one of my favorite tropes. I’ll admit, Aelin calling Rowan buzzard is kinda sweet if you ignored how shitty their relationship is.

Evangeline howled, “Fooooood!” Fleetfoot’s answering howl followed a heartbeat later. Then Lysandra’s snarl rippled toward them, silencing girl and hound.

Lysandra!!! Another character I loved. She is so strong and overcomes her abuser and her trauma to become a badass warrior, and plus she has girl friendship with Aelin! I’d read a series about Elide and Lysandra traveling around the world together.

When she looked back, Rowan was halfway to the camp, Evangeline’s red-gold hair flashing as she bounded through the dripping trees, begging the prince for toast and eggs.

....... eggs and toast? In the middle of the forest? Not what I’d expect, but alright.

And Aelin Galathynius, Queen of Terrasen, knew the time would soon come to prove just how much she’d bleed for Erilea.

Sure, sweetheart. Also, you’re not a queen yet. You haven’t been crowned or declared ruler officially.

We switch to Aedion’s POV. I suspect if SJM let him have a motive and personality outside of worshiping Aelin, he;d be a good character.

[Lysandra] had used these weeks of travel to try out new forms: birds, beasts, insects that had a tendency to buzz in his ear or bite him. Rarely —so rarely—had Lysandra taken the human form he’d met her in.

I love Lysandra. That is all.

[Aelin]’d grown quieter the farther north they’d traveled. Perhaps weeks on the road had sapped her. After tonight, depending on what the lords reported, he’d try to find her a quiet place to rest for a day or two before they made the last leg of the trek to Orynth.

Again, had this been any other characters, it’d be sweet of him to know his cousin so well that he knows when she’s tired and want her to rest. But like, Aedion’s entire character revolves around Aelin it’s tiresome.

“Darrow was your uncle’s lover,” he added, stretching his legs out before him. “For decades. He’s never spoken once to me about your uncle, but... they were very close, Aelin. Darrow didn’t publicly mourn Orlon beyond what was required after the passing of a king, but he became a different man afterward. He’s a hard bastard now, but still a fair one. Much of what he’s done has been out of his unfading love for Orlon—and for Terrasen. His own maneuvering kept us from becoming completely starved and destitute. Remember that.” Indeed, Darrow had long straddled a line between serving the King of Adarlan and undermining him.

Oooo, a LGBT character! Very nice! However, from that description of Darrow being a supposed bastard, I’m worried he might be the villain. Which wouldn’t be a problem if there were other LGBT characters, but since Darrow is the only confirmed one that comes to mind at current, this might turn out bad.

The flames pulled apart like drawn curtains to allow [Evangeline] and Fleetfoot, sensing the child’s fear and pressing close, passage to an inner ring that would not burn her. But would melt the bones of their enemies.

Um, why is that a fragment? Shouldn’t the phrase read, “(...) passage to an inner ring that would not burn her, but would melt the bones of their enemies”?

So they are startled by the arrival of a messenger and Rowan puts a knife to his throat. I’d understand if he did this until the messenger tells them who he is, but seriously? Keeping a blade at the guy’s throat? He’s the messenger of the people you want to be allies with!

Even as Rowan nudged him forward, that cruel knife still angled at his throat. Aedion jerked his chin at Rowan. “He can’t very well deliver the message with a blade at his windpipe.”

Lmfao it literally takes Aedion pointing this out for Rowan to chill out.

Her magic simmered in response. And that [amulet]—that hideous power hanging between her breasts—seemed to open an ancient eye at all the commotion.

Again, a nit pick, but why is SJM so fascinated with the amulet being between Aelin’s breasts? It seriously takes away from the impact of the sentence, which is trying to make the amulet sound dangerous but all I can think about is the amulet squished between her boobs. It would’ve been better to simply say the amulet around her neck or something.

So the messenger tells them the lords won’t be coming out to the forest, which is honestly understandable. They’re old and can’t travel as well as the younger characters, and it’s raining outside. 

So those were the first two chapters. Well, it isn’t too bad so far, but not great either. Honestly, I’m just weirded out by SJM’s focus on the women’s breasts. If this was an erotica novel, I’d have zero problems with it, but considering this book is supposed to be epic fantasy, it just pulls me out of the story every time it is focused on. But we’ll see if SJM can do better with the next chapters.