#also i literally have pink hair i am going to be more present than a guest’s date might like to be at a wedding

[failfemme]

choosing a dress for a black tie wedding is so stressful i would like to be someone who would be comfortable in a tux now pls

[the-merry-otter]

If you’re on mobile, you may have to click on the images for better quality!

Plain text version with image descriptions is under the cut.

Please note that the image descriptions will be reflecting what I am trying to convey with the photo, rather than the total look of the photo itself. For example if I am trying to describe a dress, the hair colour of the person wearing it will be ignored. This is to reduce the total word count of the descriptions, because I have a lot of images to describe. On this note, I have also streamlined the information as much as possible.

[Plain text description:]

First slide: Mariota’s Guide to 14th Century (Medieval) Women’s Clothing

This slideshow is brought to you by @the-merry-otter on tumblr

ALRIGHT LISTEN UP MOTHERS AND FUCKERS. I’m bored, so today we’re going to be talking about medieval clothing. Specifically fourteenth century English clothing because that’s what I’m good at. (Source: trust me bro I’m a reenacter). Also this is all female stuff - sorry masc leaning folks, I’ll get to you someday!

Disclaimer: this is not completely comprehensive or nuanced in the slightest, it’s just a quick overview guide. Do your own research xoxo.

[Image ID: to the left is a picture of a woman in a light blue dress and a pink hood gazing out at a lake. The hood has a skirt that falls over her shoulders, and there is along thin pipe attached to the back of the hood that dangles to her knees. The edges of the hood are decorated with burgundy crochet. The picture is captioned “beautiful, stunning, gorgeous, literal goals.” End ID]

[Image ID: To the right is a picture of a typical renn faire outfit. It has a white poofy underdress, a black corset, and a brown skirt. There is a red cross drawn over the image. It is captioned “very pretty, but definitely not medieval sorry!” End ID]

Second slide: Underwear (ooh la la)

Now with nasty pocketses

[Image ID: a picture of gollum, from lord of the rings, snarling in disgust. There is a line in The Hobbit where he asks Bilbo what he has in his nasty little pocketses, which is what I am referencing. End ID]

So, corsets, stays, and shapewear in general kind of wasn’t a thing yet. So your underwear was a shift, which was awesome because it was also your pajamas. They were usually made of linen, though some might have been made of cotton is you were rich.

[Image ID: A plain white linen garment laid out flat on the floor. It is a dress that hangs to about knee length, with elbow length sleeves. An arrow points to it with text reading “this is a shift”. End ID]

There is evidence for supportive shifts for busy support, like this one from the fourteenth century!

[Image ID: a second shift, worn by a female presenting person. It is laced up the front, and is a lot tighter and more fitted, especially around the bust. It has straps instead of sleeves. End ID]

There’s also this bra like fragment found in Austria, but that is a whole debate so.

[Image ID: A bra-like garment fitted to a mannequin. It seems to be made out of white linen, coloured with time. The left cup is damaged, and overall the garment looks incomplete. End ID]

Then, over the shift, yet under your main dress went your pockets, which tied on at the waist. Your dresses had slits do that you could get at your stuff without flashing everyone lol.

[Image ID: A picture of medieval pockets. They are upside down teardrop shaped, but the point is flat and is part of the waist ties. There are slits in the side up the top to access the inside. They are cream coloured with bright floral embroidery. The caption reads “these bad boys can fit so many cool pebbles.” End ID]

[Image ID: A young female-presenting person wearing medieval clothing. She has her hands in the pocket slits of her dress. They are just below hip height. End ID]

Third slide: your dress, or the cotehardie. (Pronounced coat hardy)

Over the shift you put your dress, sometimes referred to as either a kirtle or cotehardie. 14th century people started actually form-fitting their clothes more than previous centuries. These needed fastenings, which were mostly lacings (spiral lacings specifically), or buttons made of either metal or cloth, used at the front of the dress from neckline to waist, and on the sleeves from elbow to wrist, with exceptions of course.

(Sidenote: fuck sleeves, all my homies hate sleeves)

[Image ID: a woman in a warm yellow dress to the left of the text. The dress is constructed simply, with a single piece of fabric used for the length of the body so there is no waist seam. The skirt is widened by inserting four triangles, one each at the front and back, and one on each side. The front has buttons made of the same fabric as the dress, that go down to the belt at the waist. The sleeves have similar buttons from wrist to elbow, on the outside of the arm. The woman is also wearing a liripipe hood. End ID]

Dresses seemed to be mostly wool, though I often use linen for mine because I live in Australia and it’s hot in summer and I don’t want to die. Most often they weren’t lined (that is what the underwear was for).

[Image ID: in the top left of the slide is a woman wearing a green woollen dress. It is constructed the same as the previous image, except it has spiral lacing on the front instead of buttons. The sleeves are fastened by three small buttons. She is wearing a simple and veil. End ID]

[Image ID: the top right of the slide shows a woman in a teal coloured dress, similar to the one before. This one has metal buttons at the sleeves and down the front. She wears a veil only. End ID]

The neckline of these dresses was usually round or an oval shape, and some manuscripts have it so wide that it falls off the shoulders slightly.

[Image ID: A photo of a medieval manuscript, depicting six medieval ladies in a row holding hands. The neckline of their dresses is wide enough that the tops of their shoulders are visible. The image is captioned “me and the girls on a Friday night”. End ID]

Clothing was a lot more colourful than the movies would have us believe lol.

[Image ID: Three women, each in dresses similar to the ones before. To the left is a forest green, the middle one is bright saffron yellow, and the one to the right is a vibrant tomato red. End ID].

Fourth slide: Dress two; electric boogaloo

[Image ID: Merry and Pippin from lord of the rings. Above them, meme text reads “we’ve had one, yes”, and then continues below with “but what about second dress?”. End ID]

You could also wear an overdress, which was usually of a contrasting colour and had shorter sleeves.

As well as fashion, they would have been used for extra warmth, and so were usually made of wool.

[Image ID: a woman in a maroon coloured dress like the ones on the previous slide. The sleeves stop just above her elbow, revealing a blue dress underneath. End ID].

Common people would have only owned a couple of different outfits, as fabric was super expensive.

[Image ID: various pictures of women with examples of an overdress. They are all constructed the same as the overdress, but with shorter sleeves that reveal a second sleeve of a different colour underneath. End ID]

A common late thirteenth to mid fourteenth century overdress was the ladies surcoat, which had big holes instead of sleeves.

Belts would have been worn underneath the surcoat.

[Image ID: three photos of women wearing surcoats. They are normal dresses, except there is a large D shape cut out of either side, leaving a large hole from the shoulder to below the hip. They have no buttons down the front. One of the surcoats is made of red brocade, and obviously belongs to an upper-class impression. End ID].

Fifth slide: Hair and headwear

Hair was worn braided and pinned up, with a coif (cap) and either a wimple or veil, or both. The wimple and/or veil were usually pinned to the coif, or secured on a band of fabric around the head.

Veils would be either oval, or a D shape. Wimples were rectangular. A wimple goes under the chin and a veil goes over your head.

[Image ID: a close up of a woman wearing a wimple. It is made of a light fabric, likely silk. The wimple wraps under her chin and is secured at the back of her head. A narrow band of fabric or possibly leather circles her brow, which would have been used to secure the wimple. End ID.]

[Image ID: A picture of YouTuber Morgan Donner wearing a wimple and veil. The wimple wraps under her chin, and the veil is placed on top of her head, draping down past her shoulders. It does not cover her face. Loops of hair are visible either side of her face. End ID]

All the headwear would be made of linen, thin wool, or silk, depending on class. The veils could also be made really fancy by ruffling the front edge or by attaching pearls.

[Image ID: a woman in a wimple and half-circle veil. The edge of the veil that frames her face is elaborately ruffled. The edge of a coif is visible under the veil. End ID]

I ride the bus in my medieval gear a lot because of events, and way too many people think I’m Amish because of my veil. It’s honestly just funny at this point. I should keep a tally.

[Image ID: a woman wearing a St Birgitta’s coif, pinning a wimple at the back of her head. The coif is a simple white linen cap that encloses the head, with a line of lace down the centre of the head. It is secured with a loop of linen around the head. End ID].

[Image ID: a picture of someone with plaits that have been pinned around the head like a crown. It is captioned “you could also pin your hair up like this”. End ID]

Working women might have just wrapped their head in a scarf instead, fuck this fancy shit right?

[Image ID: a woman in a headscarf that has been twisted and then looped around the front of her head. It is captioned #girlboss. End ID].

Fake braids were a thing! Blonde hair in particular was very fashionable, and bleaching or fake braids were sometimes used to achieve that.

[Image ID: two fake braids made of a coarse fibre. They are blonde in colour, and are looped like a hairstyle seen on many of the reenactors. They have white ribbons attached to the top end to help secure them to the head. End ID]

Sixth slide: Cloaks and hoods

These would have actually been two seperate garments! Integrated hoods on cloaks didn’t actually become a thing until the … seventeenth century or so? (Citation needed).

Cloaks were a lot simpler than the typical cloak we think of nowadays. Often they were just a rectangle of wool, or by the fourteenth century, sometimes a half circle.

They were almost always wool as far as I know, and were generally fastened by a cloak pin or buttons.

[Image ID: a metal cloak pin. It is a circle with a small opening at one point. A long pin is attached via a loop, allowing it to slide along the pin. It can fit through the opening in the circle. To use one, you would gather the fabric on the pin, and then slot the circle over the pin and then turn it, so the fabric is trapped between circle and pin. This is much easier to demonstrate than describe. The picture is captioned “these bad boys are the real MVP’s though”. End ID].

[Image ID: a diagram showing the construction of the bocksten man cloak. It is a half circle pieced together by laying strips of fabric together. In the centre of the flat side, a half circle is cut out for the neck. End ID]

[Image ID: a reconstruction of the bocksten man cloak. It is orange wool, and lined with an off-white linen. It is fastened on the right shoulder by three fabric buttons. It would fall to just above the wearers knees. End ID].

Women’s hoods could be short and open, or with a longer skirt and closed with buttons. Liripipe (pronounced leery-pipe) hoods were named for the tube of fabric that dangled off the back of your hood, varying in length. As well as a fashion statement, it could also be wrapped around the neck like a scarf if it got cold.

Hoods were nearly always wool I’m pretty sure, though they were often lined with linen, silk, or cotton.

[General description: a short liripipe hood would be open, with the bottom only reaching your shoulders. They were made from a single piece of fabric that would wrap over your head, with the seam down the centre back of your head. It was flared at the bottom by inserting triangular gores. At the front edge near your face there would be a strip jutting out that went from one side of your chin, over your head, and down to the other side. This would usually be folded back, revealing the lining colour. The bottom of the hood could either just reach the base of your neck, or reach down to just past your shoulders. The former would usually be open at the front, with fastenings optional. The latter option with the longer skirt was almost always able to be fastened up the front with fabric buttons. The liripipe itself was a thin flat tube of fabric fastened at the centre top back of the hood. End ID]

Fun fact, 90% of why I decided to reenact the fourteenth century specifically was because of liripipe hoods.

Seventh slide: Feet (not in a weird way)

Hose were used to keep your legs warm. For women they were usually knee height, and fastened just underneath it with a garter or tie.

[Image ID: a single light yellow hose, belted beneath the knee with a leather garter. The seam is down the centre back of the leg going all the way to your toes, and then around the top of the foot in front of where it connects to your leg. End ID]

Hose usually would have been made from wool, and were cut on the diagonal (bias) of the fabric to get the maximum stretch possible from the fabric. They still were looser than modern tights are though!

Knitted socks were also a thing I’m pretty sure, but I don’t know enough about them. Sorry!

Shoes were simple, usually referred to as turnshoes because of how they were made. Fun fact: the lack of foot support means that turnshoes are similar to going barefoot in terms of how you walk. Some reenactors love it, some hate it, and some are indifferent lol.

[Image ID: a pair of turnshoes made of dark leather. They have a strap that would fasten around the front of the ankle, similar to some modern shoes. The toes are pointed, and it is captioned “pointy toes were fashionable, especially for men”. End ID].

Because shoes were really hard to waterproof, (ask me how I know), and didn’t have solid soles, wooden pattens (pronounced pat-tens) were worn to keep you off the ground while outside.

[Image ID: a person wearing a pair of wooden pattens over their shoes, standing on a drenched cobblestone street. They are wooden platforms with an archway on the bottom, and are attached to the foot with leather straps around the toe, ankle, and around the back of the heel, similar to modern sandals. The image is captioned “ye old crocs”. End ID].

[Image ID: a woman’s leg with the skirts drawn back, revealing the bright yellow hose underneath. It is fastened below the knee with a strip of fabric. She wears a turnshoe with a buckled strap. End ID]

Eighth slide: Accessories

These are a few other items that might have made up a working woman’s outfit.

Aprons would definitely have been used while working. One were just a large rectangle of cloth tucked into the belt, some were smocked to draw in the fabric. They generally stopped at the waist.

[Image ID: a woman in a red dress, with a very light brown apron. It is smocked at the top, and is attached around the waist with a string. End ID].

Pretty broaches and other jewellery existed! There was cheaper stuff made of pewter for the lower classes.

[Image ID: five gold brooches, studded with different jewels and pearls. End ID].

They had a funny sense of humour as well… and they weren’t all prudes.

[Image ID: a pewter broach of a cat carrying a dick and balls in its mouth. It is captioned “you can actually buy these. I know a website.” End ID].

Eating knives were worn on the belt, though it is debated whether women would have carried one. I do because I’m a modern fourteenth century woman.

[Image ID: a small knife with a wooden handle, laying on top of a leather sheath that has been dyed red. End ID]

Belts are a curiously debated topic. Some people reckon that women would have definitely worn them, others say they they weren’t used by women much at all. As far as I know there are depictions of both, so choose what you’d prefer. They are great for hanging stuff on I gotta say.

[Image ID: a coiled up brown leather belt. The buckle and tip are a gold metal, and it has decorative flower studs along its length in the same metal. End ID]

Pretty little purses would have probably been worn. I don’t know enough about them to say anything else though.

[Image ID: two different pictures of reenactors wearing purses. One is brocade and the other a red fabric. They are in the shape of an upright triangle, and both have five tassels hanging from the bottom edge. They hang off the belt with long drawstrings. Unrelated to the purses, one of the women is wearing a gorgeous orange liripipe hood, that is embroidered and dagged on the bottom skirt edge. End ID]

Ninth slide: Fancy Shmancy

There is a lot I haven’t covered, especially in the realm of the upper classes. Here is some of what has been missed. (Buckle up because this section is very image heavy. I will be as concise as possible).

Heraldic dresses! If you are interested, go check out Morgan Donners video on YouTube.

[Image ID: a picture of Morgan Donner in her heraldic dress. One half of the dress is red, and the other is green, except for where it has been cut out by white with an ermine pattern on it. Her hair is unbound and uncovered, except by a small flower crown. It is captioned “Morgan bestie do your hair properly :(“. End ID]

[Image ID: a drawing of two women in heraldic dresses. The first has a blue right half with a yellow printed design. The top left of the dress is yellow with a blue fish, and the bottom left is red with a white fish. Her train is held by the second lady, who’s dress is blue on the right, and white with green birds on the left. End ID].

Fancy headpieces for rich bitches only.

[Image ID: a reenactor doing a high class impression. Her hair is bound up in Pearl studded hair nets on either side of her head like modern earmuffs, with a spiked coronet around her brow. She has a sheer silk wimple on. End ID]

Fancy dagged edged on hoods, sleeves, dresses, etc.

[Dagging description: where the edge has been cut away to make decorative dangly bits. One hood has red leaves around the bottom edge for example, and another just has a pretty geometric pattern. End description].

Brocade gowns! So pretty!

[Image ID: several different pictures of high class ladies wearing brocade gowns of different colours. These are similar to the wool dresses we were looking at earlier, but with longer trains, and often long draping sleeves. There is even a brocade surcoat. End ID]

Fancy sleeves!

[Image ID: examples of different long sleeves. On some, the sleeve is normal until the elbow, and then it falls away to a long strip of fabric that dangles to the ground. Not mentioned on the slide itself is tippets, which was a band of (usually white) fabric just above your elbow, with a thin strip of the same fabric that draped down to the floor. End ID].

Dresses that were two different colours.

[Image ID: examples of dresses that are exactly like the earlier wool dresses, except they are literally half one colour and half another. The manuscript example is a blue and red overdress with fancy sleeves, and the reenactor example is a yellow and green underdress with a red hood. End ID]

And of course, some of the funky fun fabric choices.

[Image ID: a manuscript depiction of a woman carrying a dead bird. Her hood is red and white striped horizontally, and her dress is dark and light blue striped, also horizontally. End ID].

[Image ID: a manuscript depicting a woman talking to a second lady in a chair. The dress on the first has horizontal stripes of white, red, yellow, and blue, repeated, and the second has horizontal stripes of white, pink, and light blue. Interestingly enough the latter colours are very similar to the transgender flag which would make a very cool dress project. Hmm. End ID].

Tenth (and final) slide: In summery

(Small red text below title reads “I hope you have enjoyed” with a drawn smiling face).

Dis you notice all the “usually” “commonly” and “often’s” in there? That’s because I cannot possibly illustrate everything that we know of the time in only ten slides, nor do I know everything, so I have just tried to show what seems to be the most depicted.

Note: I probably even got some stuff wrong by the way.

If you’re interested in this stuff, I really recommend doing your own research now! Hopefully I have given you a good overview of what a fourteenth century womens outfit might have looked like, so now you can go fourth and know what you’re looking for.

If you have any questions about costuming, reenactment, or anything else, feel free to contact me!! I respond on Timblr decently fast ☺️

[Image ID: a reenactor sitting on a log, staring into the distance with a slight smile. She is wearing a grey-blue dress, belted at the waist with a small purse dangling from it. She has a dark blue cape and a light blue hood, that has fallen back to show a ruffled white veil. There is a pewter broach on her hood. A leather turnshoe peeks out from beneath the hem of her dress. End ID]

A list of helpful YouTubers:

Elin Abrahamsson

Morgan Donner

Opus Elenae

Miss Joss (her instagram is more active).

Now go hydrate!!

[Image ID: a woman in fourteenth century garb drinking from a jug. End ID]

[vtribbean]

Okay JJBA: Golden Wind fans I am officially on another crazy fucking theory brainstorming moment and I present to you my newest "fuck it, we ball, this is canon to me now":

Carne is a homunculus.

More below.

Okay, so I already have this overarching theory that I will need to go over another time that I'm just going to call "The Devil that is Diavolo" or something like that. In short, it's that Diavolo is actually a devil - not just a guy or part of a system. He possessed Doppio (or what was meant to be the stillbirth of Doppio), Trish was his attempt at creating an antichrist of sorts, etc. - basically, he does this all and creates Passione to create a sort of uprising and eventually go after the Vatican, a holy place.

BUT, we aren't here to talk about that. We're here to talk about Carne. I'm in no way an essayist nor organized in any way so just... bear with me.

This popped into my head while I was thinking: WHO is Carne? We really don't get much information about him at all, which leaves him to be a sort of blank slate we can apply plenty of different headcanons to. But why is he such an unknown, compared to Squalo and Tiziano (who we get to know more about in a spin-off) and even Cioccolata and Secco... and speaking of which, who is his "other half"? Plenty of Part 5 characters come with counterparts or pairings... so who is Carne's?

Thinking about it further, there's only one person left physically unpaired: and that's Diavolo himself - while he has Doppio, they share a body... and as stated before, I theorize that Trish was Diavolo's attempt to create someone outside of Doppio who he could influence and perhaps later possess once they got stronger. Doppio is a bit of a runt, in that regard.

Looking at Carne, he's one of the... stranger looking characters in Part 5 (sorry, dude) but this also makes him stand out. He looks... incomplete, in a way? No eyelids, no nose, no ears... his limbs are disproportionate to his torso. He looks... incomplete. But, one feature does stand out (though this only appears in the anime coloring...): he has pink hair. One of only a handful to have pink hair, and those folks are all tied directly to Diavolo - whether by sharing his body, or... genetically.

The only thing we know about Carne is written by his stand when it's infesting Giorno's arm:

That pitiful man. He was used and abandoned like an old rag. He died with hatred in his heart. That hatred is his energy. An energy that activated for the first time when he died. An energy that not even he had ever seen before he died.

... which isn't much, but leads into my thoughts on Carne being less of a man, more of a tool. An item. Abandoned because he was imperfect and incomplete.

I think Carne was created by Diavolo as a second attempt to make a new vessel for himself. Rejected by Trish, he needed a Plan B. Now, there's more just besides "woah pink hair!!!" given that's very loose: who does his visage remind you of? Another imperfect vessel of sorts? That lidless, unending gaze; the malformed extremities, or lack thereof; a runt of the litter...

Like Epitaph, or Doppio, he was imperfect and incomplete. He had his own physical being, but he was nothing more than a literal meat shield. No personality of his own, no attachments to anyone aside from his creator. Nothing but a piece of meat, that pitiful man. But he served his usefulness to Diavolo - and he was a frightening antagonist, at that: he was immortal. He could have been perfect, but perhaps Diavolo threw him away too quickly when he realized that his Plan A, Trish, was not only defiant but getting stronger.

... Anyways, I could yap in circles about this for a while, but I think this explains most of this theory. There's a bit more I could say about his choice of fashion compared to Trish's and Spice Girl's designs, but I wanted to cover the basics!

[twsthc]

TWST GENDER AND SEXUALITY HCS

thanks again for submitting stuff on twitter! i tried to include everyones hcs somehow but also keep it true to my own hcs. again this took forever so sorry for any writing/grammar inconsistencies

⚠️ warnings: i typed the word "transmascpilled" with a straight face, light chapter 3 spoilers!!

last updated: oct 6, 2023

HEARTSLABYUL 🥀

Riddle: Unlabled Questioning Asexual, Transfem (she/any)

because of her parents i think her identity was the last thing on her mind

after going to nrc they found out about... expression?! crazy i know

started to cautiously experiment with his identity, but isnt very open about it and is still figuring himself out.

Ace: Cupioromantic Bisexual, Cisgender (he/him)

is always getting "crushes" on people (he cant tell the difference between platonic and romantic love)

after pining for someone for like a week he gets a little "OHHH" moment

asked cater about it, got laughed at, and was directed to the lgbt wiki

despite this he can feel romantic attraction! he just feels very little. is deuce's qpp/possible romantic partner

Deuce: Pansexual, Gender curious (he/him)

hasnt really thought about his identity much but after some research (an Am I Gay Quiz) he realized he was pansexual

still figuring out his gender

type of fellow to say "HIS PRONOUNS ARE THEY THEM" /j

Cater: Queer, Transmasc NB Genderqueer (he/they/any)

@/heartslabyulian on twt explained it better than me but the resistance against his mom and sisters about "being like them" (feminine) is so transmascpilled

also i think theyre just having fun expressing themself like who cares? wear a skirt, dont bind, grow out and dye your hair, use fem terms, literally just go crazy

Trey: Cisgender Bisexual (he/him)

male/nb preference

pretty confident in his identity but isnt opposed to experimentation

SAVANACLAW 🥩

Leona: Unlabled, Intersex GNC Transfemneu (she/him)

lions are one of natures queerest animals

i think he wouldnt care too much about gender presentation

i was inspired by that gay lion in kenya (as well as the real lion king) and have come to the conclusion that leona kingscholar is bisexual (bangs gavel)

Ruggie: Pansexual, Agender/GNC Transfem (he/she/they)

read a fanfiction where ruggie used she/her and i havent been the same

expresses herself how she wants but doesnt really align with any gender

im conflicted if he would be agender or nonbinary SIGH

Jack: Panromantic Asexual, Gender curious (he/him)

still figuring out his gender just give him a minute

sex repulsed ace, hes really uncomfortable w the topic and thought of sex

all he knows is he likes boys alright

OCTAVINELLE 🐚

Azul: Bisexual, Intersex Transfem (she/he)

i think one of the reasons azul wanted us to get that picture from the museum so bad is not only cos hes self consious of his younger self but because he looked "more masculine" and he just really hated it

me when im in a depressed and self conscious competition and my opponent is azul ashengrotto [insert enel one piece shocked face reaction image]

Floyd: Unlabled, Genderfluid (he/any)

doesnt care for labels he just wants to have fun in the sun!!!

type of guy to go "im a boy but a girl but a Man but a pretty princess but also a mud eating warrior but also--"

just like me fr

Jade: Aromantic Asexual, Agender (they/he)

fucking battery

look i get its probably stereotypical to hc the typically "stoic" guy to be triple A but just hear me out: i dont care (also jade isnt even stoic he is such a silly guy!!)

its MY headcanon account and EYE get to choose which anime boy i project on

SCARABIA 🌞

Kalim: Lesbian, Transfem Genderfluid (she/he)

she has lesbian eyebrows okay?

always sliding around from fem to masc, his outfits often reflect how hes feeling

blink and she switches from ultra pink miniskirt sparkly frilly femme girly teengirl into a baggy pants oversized band shirt beanie wearing 7/11 mountain dew big gulp drinking Creature. seriously iconic

Jamil: Bisexual, Nonbinary (they/he)

they dont have time to worry about their identity

he has BILLS to PAY

but seriously they never got the time to do any self reflection when they were younger and after their OB they were able to fully come to terms with and explore their identity

POMEFIORE 👑

Vil: Queer Polyamorous, Genderqueer Transfem (she/her)

said this already on twitter but she/her vil is so real

figured herself out even before NRC

i dont have much to say about pomefiore as a whole tbh like theyre just Gay it just makes sense?

Rook: Pansexual Polyamorous, Agender (they/them)

this is the one hc i will never ever budge on

i cant explain myself. rook is just agender okay.

the panpoly bit is because he sees beauty in everyone and wants to share beauty with everyone (and he wants potential romantic partners to share beauty with each other as well)

Epel: Gay, Trans man (he/him)

also took an Am I Gay Quiz

asked vil about her identity and for advice on finding himself and stuff

he came out to leona as trans during practice and leona was like "okay? me too? now do 30 pull ups?" and epel was so happy

IGNIHYDE 💀

Idia: Bisexual, Nonbinary (he/they/xe/it ++)

i think lilia canonically uses he/they pronouns for gloomurai. im not fact checking this i will just saw someone on twt say it once and choose to believe

probably found out he was bi after playing an otome game

list of neos: xe/it/exe/cy/vi/byte/if/gore

Ortho: Experimenting (he/it/neos)

someone on twitter said ortho was that ""cringe"" baby queer who is constantly changing his identity and trying out different pronouns

and it reminded me of myself when i was 12 and named myself ""moth"" 😭 so its canon now

idia is supportive and uses his heaps of money to buy new pride flags/pins for whenever ortho comes to a new conclusion

DIASOMNIA 🐉

Malleus: Pansexual, Agender (any pronouns)

doesnt care about gender constructs, but in a way thats like "human gender doesnt make any sense so you can perceive me any way you want and it literally will not matter i dont care"

didnt even realize that going by different pronouns and wearing fem clothes was considered to be out of the norm until being introduced to human society

Lilia: Unlabeled, Agender (no pronouns)

again for fae gender isnt a construct as much as it is for human societies

id imagine lilia doesnt really mind using he/him pronouns after learning about those constructs but really doesnt care for them

Silver: Lesbian, Nonbinary (he/him)

when lilia took silver in, lilia didnt want to get too close to him, so lilia just used he/him on silver as a bitter reminder that silver isnt fae (contrary to raising silver without pronouns like he would typically for a fae child like malleus)

but then lilia got attached anyway LOL but the he/him stuck

kalim and silver are nonbinary lesbians in love

Sebek: Questioning, Questioning Nonbinary (he/him...?)

hes like "STUPID HUMANS AND THEIR GENDER" but at the same time is secretly questioning if its okay to use she/her pronouns, wear a wig, and put on makeup

because his dad is a human he got pronouns and grasped the concept of human gender constructs but was also able to experience his moms side of not caring about it

[in-newjersey]

So here are my thoughts on my first time seeing a live BMC production!

Making this non-rebloggable, I am not a real theater critic and I do not want to draw any attention to this actual cast on an anonymous blog to strangers on the internet

For starters, casting!

I respect the variety going on here and the degree of diverging from famous character appearance-tropes. Tiny Latino Jeremy who's as fit as a gymnast and can (and does) do acrobatic spin kicks sometimes? Love it. Plus-size butch-esque Brooke? 10/10. Genderfuckery long-haired Michael who gesticulates with a huge fan through most conversations? Hell yeah. Pink-haired Nirvana-grunge-style trans guy Jake? Now we're talking. Christine a head taller than Jeremy? Awesome.

I will not get too into describing actual real people on here much more than that but in general it was wonderful to see a wide range of character-actor types inhabiting these roles. As someone involved in The Fandom, even though I have frequently expounded upon the mutability of character traits per the text, you do still absorb a general idea of what the characters "look" like; so it was a fun twist to have literally none of the performers fall into those tropes.

I will also say - and this is not a read - that I am no longer going to assume I'm too old to play any of these characters, because I guess that's the magic of community theater lol

On to Thoughts, which I will loosely group by characters:

Rich was fucking awesome. Like I was impressed by the singing skill across the board, but this guy fucking killed it at every turn. I looked at my friend I went with after The Squip Song and we both were like OH OK. Rich also wore mostly KISS T-shirts? Like the shitty glam rock band? But yknow, work. Excellent voice (if casting were a little more 'stereotypical,' he probably would be an excellent Michael). Emotionally, he was on the more explosive side while SQUIPped, melting toward just charmingly cute once in 'real Rich Goranski' mode.

The aforementioned Jake was an interesting take on the character. Definitely leaned more into the kind of douchey side of things, but did at least at one point seem genuinely into Christine (although the actor was very much leaning into the interpretation 'yeah he has multiple interests and he honestly likes them all in the moment but gets bored quickly, and that includes girlfriends'). Is that kind of shitty? Yes. Is that a realistic take on what a rich popular 17 year old might be like? Also yes. Nirvana-fan Jake was not a concept I thought of before but I was down for it (though I discovered later on the cast instagram page that the guy playing Jake said that his version of Jake thinks Nirvana is a clothing brand which, like, galaxy-brain take lol).

THE SQUIP!!!!! Actually cycled through Keanu Reeves costumes, which I loved. Started out in Bill & Ted, then Matrix, then POINT BREAK of all things, before landing on a pretty-impressive-for-the-budget version of the light-up circuitry priest robe thing from the Broadway style. He had the hair and beard pretty close to present-day Keanu too, which made him both line up with the resemblance and seem significantly older than the other characters; voice-wise, this guy was clearly a skilled baritone, which meant his delivery on some of the more rock-style songs was a bit unusual, but not bad. This SQUIP was suave at the right parts but did NOT shy away from being scary: the 'take me inside you' part with Brooke during Upgrade was staged very menacingly with regards to how he was physically moving around/behind Jeremy. The Play was delightfully sinister, leaning HARD into the SQUIP as literally puppeteering everyone: saying their lines and moving his hands like marionnettes throughout, keeping things very creepy and villainous.

On the topic of the play, the fight choreography kicked ass. Mr. Reyes's ALL THE WAY TO BROADWAY rant was delivered while he yanked Jeremy off the ground by his shirtfront and then threw him furiously across the stage, genuinely concerning and upsetting to watch (especially as the SQUIP was miming the same actions and lines behind him, obviously in control of Reyes's body) (I literally said 'oh fuck' out loud when it happened and got a Look from the presumably-grandma in the row ahead lol). The fight choreography during Two Player Game Reprise was also solid: the guy playing Jeremy was FIT and did a lot of impressive acrobatic kicks and such, and the person playing Michael being a lot taller and larger worked well with letting him like bounce off, lift him up for spin kicks, etc.

And in general, I respected how much this production was willing to let certain moments be dark. The Play in general was pretty horror-movie-climax; I also respected that the costuming did indeed look like so-so high school mockups of a modern zombie movie. But the whole number was eerie, SQUIPPED character movements and voices became unnervingly smooth and robotic, and positioning the SQUIP as the puppetmaster in the middle, literally moving the characters around, just sold the whole thing wonderfully. Very appropriately leaning into the horror part of horror-comedy.

Similarly, Do You Wanna Hang? was scary. AS IT SHOULD BE. My friend who came with me compared it favorably to the car scene in the movie 8th Grade, where you're just On Edge the whole time you're watching. The actress playing Chloe did a good job with it, that's an uncomfortable thing to portray but she went for it and it paid off in the moment.

Chloe and Brooke had a fun dynamic: the styles of the costuming/performers did add some interesting dimensions. Chloe was, as usual, pink and perfect and feminine, head-cheerleader vibes; Brooke was short haired and dressed a lot more masculine. Brooke had a very earnest sense of vulnerability to her, and excellent comedic timing during Do You Wanna Ride and The Smartphone Hour, as well as just the minor background-acting moments. They leaned pretty hard into the 'Chloe will take things just because Brooke wanted them, because she likes that Brooke is always a little jealous of her, and thinks that that's friendship' and, like the portrayal of Jake: is that a shitty thing to do? Yes. Is that a realistic thing teenagers might do, especially poisoned by toxic ideas about femininity and power? Also yes.

Which is a good spot to add, the ensemble was small (4) but they were serving it. The band appeared to be octogenarian church volunteers (oh, yeah, this was at a church??? Wesleyan Methodists, so the cool liberal branch of American Christianity) so I will say that with what they had, they were making it work. It would have been served well by a second keyboardist and/or guitarist to do the trumpet parts (it was drums, bass, guitar, and piano). One of the ensemble members, a tall goth-femme person with hot pink hair, played the role of the theremin by doing the melodies in remarkable and ethereal bel canto. And honestly, work.

Jenna Rolan was fun: could belt for the gods, had some pretty-intense Crazy Eyes thing going on that really sold the comedic moments and made her appropriately frightening as the Final Boss in the squipped battle at the end, styled like an early 2000s-lesbian-coded-soft-goth best friend archetype. No notes, 11/10.

The actor playing Mr. Heere/Reyes/Stockboy did a fantastic job of making those three seem separate, and as I mentioned above, really made Mr. Reyes come to life in a dynamic way. Sidenote, this production changed all references to Hobby Lobby to Michaels, which I found both funny and appropriate. Fuck Hobby Lobby, we all hate Hobby Lobby.

Back to characterizations, Christine was sweet and straightforward. Not as quirky or dynamic as Stephanie or a lot of other actresses make her, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Very gentle and smooth voice, she just really likes theater and wants someone to like the real her. They went with ballet-style choreography to introduce her during More Than Survive, which is always a wonderful touch for the way the music swells. There were points where I think a little more creative movement or a wider emotional range might have worked well, but the take on the character was consistent.

I am going to keep that positive thread through the next sections: while I might not have agreed with the interpretation through the text, I do respect going in a starkly different direction to how most productions and fans usually take such things.

I have enormous respect for the performer playing Michael for radically making it their own. The cast bios had pronouns, and Michael's performer was they/she/he, which as a fellow they/she/he who would love to play Michael someday was rad to see. They kept the CREEPS shirt and a hoodie with a lot of patches (albeit a black one with red accents), but that was about it. Michael had light-up cat ear headphones and a huge black fan which he used throughout, alternated between baggy sweatpants or just a floor-length hippy skirt, usually high-heel ankle boots, and some kind of green bathrobe thing for The Pants Song? Characterization, again, respect for making such an iconic character so heavily different. This Michael was not....very emotional. He was usually snippy and sarcastic in a very erudite and matter-of-fact way, at pretty much all points in the show. Not a lot of emotional range going on: this is a Michael who is in some combination of 'doesn't give a shit' and 'not going to let this bother me,' which came off....interesting. The chemistry this created with Jeremy was a starkly different one than we usually see. The original productions - and most since, and the majority of fandom depictions - imagines a Michael and Jeremy who, at their core, love each other a lot. However that manifests of course varies, but you Usually get the impression that (even with a little bit of codependence), these two genuinely love each other and spending time together, which makes moments in the show either heartwarming or devastating to see happen between them.

Not these versions of the characters.

Which didn't make it bad, but it did shake things up. This Michael and Jeremy didn't give deep-love-friendship so much as they gave 'we sat next to each other in 1st grade and don't have other friends. so. I guess we're best friends, huh.'

Which is an INTERESTING and somewhat bleaker, but not unrealistic, take on them. That, sadly, summarizes a lot of friendships, especially at that age and with the sort of vacuum of suburbia on your social sphere (nevermind how a lot of society discourages boys from emotional connection with their friends; if anything, the fact that this Michael was definitely queer might suggest that Jeremy even pulled back emotionally because he didn't want to seem gay or give this Michael the wrong idea). It definitely sells Jeremy feeling lonely, even with his best friend hanging around. Two-Player Game came across a LOT better than I was prepared for - I have waxed about how it's a hard number to pull off - not in spite of, but almost because of this. Like, sure, they've played through this game a million times before, they know every beat, they love it like they love each other, right? even though they seem.....kind of bored. Or at least like they're waiting for something else to happen. College? Girlfriend? Different friends? Just wait two years. Whatever.

To get critical, I will say that this dynamic did not really help Michael in the Bathroom. The fight beforehand and the song itself did.....not really lend themselves to a not-very-emotional friendship between them. The singing was perfect, so not faulting that: it's THE big song of the show, so that's a lot of pressure and the performer had a splendid voice, but the snarky-not-caring-that-much attitude didn't quite do it for me - Michael didn't seem sad or upset so much as pissed off, but still fully keeping it together (despite the lyrics saying otherwise). Tonally, the 'wish I'd offed myself instead' just sounded sarcastic ("wow, SORRY I CARED AT ALL, could've just killed myself for all you seem to care" kind of vibes) THAT SAID, it was consistent with the rest of the characterization, so I admire it as a very specific acting choice. There were also characters on stage - presumably outside the bathroom door, listening in - that turned a good portion of MITB into a comedic number; as I have said before, not my personal take on how that should go, but the audience was laughing along with it! So that's the wonderful mutability of theater.

Strangely enough, this actually made Michael and Jeremy's relationship at the end of the story work out just fine? The SQUIP experience kind of sparked a "wow we really do care about each other, huh" realization from both of them. Again, mad respect for taking such a different approach to such a well-worn character relationship.

So, overall, I am very happy I got to see this. Love to support live theater, love to be surprised by a story that I thought I knew pretty well inside and out, came away with plenty to think and talk about. If you can, go support your local community theater!

[animeshrink]

Kakashi - Coping Skills

So, Kakashi, the Copy Ninja, had multiple coping skills throughout his lifetime. Some positive. Some negative.

Negative coping skills and positive coping skills serve the same purpose - to help you cope. However, negative skills help us avoid - the problem is still there when we're done. Positive help us move on and process and prepare for future challeges.

So, first let's look at some of Kakashi's negative coping skills.

Escapism and Avoidance - Marry the job, Detach from the people

One can argue that Kakashi's entire 10-year-stint in the Anbu Black Ops consisted of "avoidant escapism to the point of dissociation." In other words, he buried himself in the dirty work of his village to escape his real-world problems and became detached from his friends in the process. There's a reason his nickname was "Cold-blooded Kakashi." He was a system-made killing machine who was so detached and dissociated that he didn't care about life, anymore to the point where he was hoping to die and didn't care. The ultimate negative coping mechanism.

2. Reading.

Reading can be a positive or a negative coping skill, but it really does depend on what you read.

Negative coping - one of Kakashi's favorite books as a teen. Don't really need to say much.

Negative coping - Icha Icha Series. Let's just say it's "adult material," and the book/series was ever-present for Kakashi. For Kakashi, it provided a form of escapism and avoidance and in many ways was a physical boundary between him and those around him.

However, for Kakashi, this was also a positive coping skill - for people with anxiety, it's not uncommon to repeatedly read or watch something they enjoy due to it's predictability providing comfort in an otherwise chaotic world. So, for Kakashi, repeatedly reading his books is a security blanket. Just the subject matter...

3. Drinking

Negative coping skill - Okay, this was probably the only time Kakashi was shown inebriated/ getting drunk, although he does drink socially in Boruto. However, many fans see him as someone who did not engage in vices to cope, aside from his book, but that was not the case. In this scene where he is drinking with Jiraiya, (white-haired guy in red) he does actually get drunk to the point of passing out. So, he was theoretically a social drinker and it did seem like, at least here, it was his mentor/friend, Jiraiya, who also wrote the Icha Icha series, trying to get him to lighten up and engage in vices to cope. He meant well, and many of us do have friends like that or are that friend. See someone who is depressed, "hey you need to get out, go to a club, lighten up, get smashed." White-haired guy had his own struggles, but that's another post...

*Note, I am not discouraging alcohol consumption, just everything in moderation and for it not to be used as a coping skill.

Positive Coping

Taking breaks to hang out with his best friend and rival

2. Relaxing.

Kakashi loved himself some hot springs as a means of decompressing.

3. Vacationing/Go on Holiday

4. Teaching

Finding a more positive, meaningful profession.

5. Creating his own family out of friends

Kakashi had lost his entire biological family at an early age and it took a while, but he created a family bond with his students as they grew from students to teammates. Their kids even call him "uncle Kakashi," implying he's family to them, as well. Sometimes, when biological family isn't available, whether literally or figuratively, it is okay to create your own, and that's what he did.

6. Acknowledged that he needed help

Okay, so no pictures for this, but in the Sakura Hiden book, Sakura (pink haired girl in the pics - becomes a doctor) wants to build a mental health hospital for the children of war. Kakashi, being leader of the village at the time, the Hokage ( ho-kah-gay), agrees to take money from the Anbu to fund the hospital. However, in the book, he acknowledges that the system did a job on him mentally as a kid, so he's more than happy to let her build the hospital. Of note, just some more cool points for Kakashi-sensei, in the book there's also the discussion of psychotropic meds (e.g, antidepressants, anti-anxiety meds, etc...) and he agrees that it's a personal choice.

If anyone can think of any others, do share.

*As always, post is for entertainment-educational purposes only. Please do not ask me for any mental health advice. If you do need help, please contact a local mental health professional or call 988, in the US if you need immediate assistance for a mental health emergency.

[causenessus]

OMG NEVER FEEL SORRY ABOUT NOT RESPONDING RIGHT AWAY!!! I totally get it, some days are just like that!!!! I’m literally just here to yap at you so respond whenever you feel like! Don’t feel obligated to respond at all because you don’t owe me anything!!! <3333

Slowly but surely I’m making my way through the depression room lol. My mom wants to turn my room into a guest bedroom and the basement into my new room so it needs to be cleaned by the end of the year. So hopefully more surely than slowly lol- OMG GOOD JOB!!!! I LOVE THE FEELING OF ACCOMPLISHMENT FROM FINISHING SOMETHING WELL!!!!

NESS YOU CAN’T JUST TELL PPL YOU’RE PROUD OF THEM- I WILL START CRYING 😭😭😭😭😭😭🫶🏻

Worry not! I am not stressing about senior year!!! I’ve already decided where I’m going to college just waiting for the applications to allow me to apply for fall of 2025 (I’m going on vacation summer 2025 and thus will not be able to start- it is a cruise in case you’re curious 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ my graduation present if you will) BAHAHA!!! Definitely what happened! I smash so many holes in walls/j

(HOW DID YOU KNOW I HAD A COOKIE HEAD??? WHO TOLD YOU???/lh)

Good news! We did not take senior photos! And yes my hair appointment went very well 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ I now have purple and pink hair (split into like four sections and it’s like alternating so pink in front and purple in back on one side and the opposite on the other side) THE ORANGEY PINK WAS NOT PRETTY. DO NOT LET IT FOOL YOU. It was like bad blonde orange and like salmon pink- not good it looked really bad and washed me out bcs cookie anon has a complexion that rivals Casper the ghost.

AHFJWJCJSJ I WILL SEND SO MANY ASKS. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’VE STARTED. I LOVE YAPPING AND APPRECIATE THAT YOU YAP JUST AS MUCH IN YOUR REPLY!!!! <3333

I too think about Suna a lot, just a weekly basis (love notes Suna gets like three-four times a week. Regular/Timeskip Suna only gets like twice a week if he’s lucky. The rest of the time is spent thinking about that one Osamu manga panel 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨)

I can see it now; Atsumu did something (took the Mac n cheese from Y/N’s apartment for his own selfish Mac n cheese midnight snacks) and Y/N of course goes to complain to Suna who laughs at her and then tells Osamu- In which case, Bakery Anon will become evil 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ anything for Osamu (+ Love Notes! Y/N…Suna is there but Y/N <3) so we put chiles in the icing of cupcakes and give them to Atsumu. Tada! Self Shipping During the week hours-

Okay! I think I found the fic so RAMBLE TIME.

NAH Y/N IS SO REAL FOR THE “I mean he wasn’t hot before” BUT THEN HE GETS COVERED IN BLOOD AND PATHETIC. REAL REAL REAL. AND THEN SUNA SENDING THE PHOTO. I’M NOT ENTIRELY CONVINCED HE DIDN’T PURPOSEFULLY TRY TO RECEIVE WITH HIS FACE TO SEND THE PHOTO TO HER.

ALL OF YOUR TAGS ARE SO REAL. I ALSO HAVE VERG NON PG THINGS TO SAY ABOUT HIM. JWJFJWJDJSJ

Okay back to our regularly scheduled programming.

I read your little about me and I agree. Oikawa is also very important to me. I could write an essay on him and why he’s such a Human character. and why he’s perfect to be like a 1-1 with Kageyama but also be his own thing separately- this is not a ramble about him though so 🧍🏻‍♀️

OKAY YAPPING DONE. CLOCKING OUT.

For the people who made it this far and see this: YOU GUYS ARE WORTHY OF LOVE. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise, you deserve to be loved and not be a secret. You deserve food, your body needs it to function. You deserve water, it’s very important. It helps with headaches, make sure to get sleep. I know it’s difficult (I have insomnia so I get it) but routines help even if just a little bit. Remember to rest and that you deserve a little break. And if no one else tells you today. I LOVE YOU <3

For Ness: I LOVE YOU <333 YOUR WRITING MAKES ME FERAL. (If you can’t tell). I can’t wait to continue yapping with you, yap sessions >>>> you ALSO deserve a break. If you don’t feel like writing then we’ll be here after your break. Remember to have fun and take care of yourself. Drink water and eat food! I know it’s easy to forget but as long as you eat some sustenance! Good job!!!!

-sincerely bakery anon 🍪

BAKERY ANON THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR PATIENCE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH :(( AND PLEASE COME IN HERE AND YAP WHENEVER!! like even if i haven't answered a previous ask DON'T BE AFRAID TO SEND ANOTHER ONE!! I WILL GET TO THEM ALL EVENTUALLY I LOVE READING YOUR ASKS AND WHATEVER YOU TALK ABOUT!! I LOVE IT ALL <3

AND AA!!! GOOD JOB TO YOU TOO!! i would come there and help you clean out your room if i could </33 I AM THERE WITH YOU IN SPIRIT!!! AND I HOPE IF YOU MOVE INTO THE BASEMENT IT'S NICER!! i feel like basements are always kind of nice bc they have more room and privacy?? but that's just me!!

AND I'M GLAD YOU'RE NOT STRESSING ABOUT SENIOR YEAR!! have as much fun as possible <3 like i had friends who went crazy and were taking ap bio and ap chem and ap calc BUT I WAS LIVING MY BEST LIFE WITH THE BARE MINIMUM REQUIRED CLASSES AND CONCURRENT ENROLLMENT CLASSES!! i'm glad you've already got where you plan to go and everything planned out!! good luck with your applications <3 AND HAVE SO MUCH FUN ON YOUR CRUISE AAAA THAT SOUNDS AWESOME!! (personally i'm terrified of the water BUT I HOPE YOU HAVE FUN!! THAT'S SUCH A COOL GRADUATION GIFT AND YOU TOTALLY DESERVE IT <3 PLEASE DO CHECK IN LIKE NEXT MAY OR WHENVER ABOUT YOUR CRUISE/AFTER YOU GO ON IT AND HOW IT IS!! [and ofc pls check in again before that as well <3 i love hearing from you <3])

AND I'M GLAD YOU WERE ABLE TO?? MOVE YOUR SENIOR PHOTOS OR THEY AT LEAST DID NOT HAPPEN BEFORE YOU GOT YOUR HAIR REDONE!! and OMG THE PURPLE PINK SOUNDS SO COOL!! i just saw someone on instagram today who like half their bangs were bleached sort of platinum-gray-white and the top of her hair was the same color but then the sort of undercut/layers were her natural dark hair color AND IT LOOKED SO COOL!!! (but i don't think my asian hair would let me do that color unfortunately </333) AND DW ABOUT THE ORANGE PINK COLORS 😭 i remember my sister tried to dye some of her hair purple but (once again blaming it on asian hair) it literally just died and turned some type of medusa/ursala green-grayish color it was so bad 😭😭 BUT AA THE RED AND PURPLE NOW SOUNDS SO GOOD!!

REGULAR/TIMESKIP SUNA ONLY GETS TWICE A WEEK IF HE'S LUCKY 😭😭😭😭 LMAOO THAT MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD AND OMG i think i was driving yesterday and i thought about that one really cute osamu timeskip panel where he puts on the jersey and like looks back at the camera to match atsumu on a tv screen also wearing a jersey <33 LIKE OMG HE'S SO CUTE (i shouldn't think about that while driving tho like...i was definitely distracted ahem...ANYWAY)

YES OMG BAKERY ANON JOIN THE SELF SHIPPING HOURS!! you and love notes osamu and me and love notes suna <33 it's perfect!! it's so so cute <33 imagine u and osamu like coming up to atsumu being like "tsumu!! we made u mac n cheese because we know how much u love it <3" (you guys made it with orange juice 💀) AND SUNA AND YN ARE BOTH RECORDING FROM BEHIND A WALL </3 ik u guys just set up the most foul pranks ever!! (but atsumu def deserves them <3)

AND OMG NO I THINK SUNA DEF TOOK THAT RECEIVE TO THE FACE ON PURPOSE AND LIKE IMAGINING HIS LITTLE SMIRK WITH THE BLOOD COMING OUT OF HIS NOSE HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I NEED TO GO REREAD THAT FIC OMG

and omg yes oikawa is so so important to me <33 i just ranted about that in my answer to mango anon's ask 😭😭 BUT HE'S SO HUMAN AND HE DESERVES THE ENTIRE WORLD!! HE DESERVES SO MUCH LOVE AND TO BE REASSURED HE IS ENOUGH AS HE IS AND THAT HE'S SO SO AMAZING AND THE BEST PERSON IN THE WORLD AND <333 i think i've said this somewhere here before but like every few months or so i have this one friend who also watches hq who is a very firm kageyama stan and maintains "oikawa tried to abuse him!!" he's bad!!! and me (very firm oikawa stan) am like "OKAY?? HE ABUSED HIS MIDDLE SCHOOL TEAMMATES?? they both changed oikawa is NOT a bad person yap yap yap!!!" (sorry i def turned this into a ramble about him 🧍‍♀️)

EVERYONE LISTEN TO WHAT BAKERY ANON IS SAYING!!! YOU ARE SO IMPORTANT AND LOVED <3 MAKE SURE TO EAT AND DRINK LOTS OF WATER <3 TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES!! (and that goes for you too bakery anon!!! <3)

and thank you for your sweet reminder bakery anon!! i'm so glad you enjoy my writing <33 that makes me so so happy to hear genuinely it means the world and really fulfils my motivation!! i will make sure to take a break if i feel like i need it and thank you so much i love u <33 I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN I LOVE THESE YAP SESSIONS!!)

[tea-of-destiny]

i gotchu! writing asks, any character you feel like:

pencil, paintbrush, colored pencil, graphite, pastels, and palette please!

Oh shit, hello ask meme maker! Thank you for letting me use your lovely question set lol. This is so many questions, and I am so tired always, so the answers took me forever, but I am very glad to be able to do this.

I'm always complaining that I don't spend enough time on Briya and Faremi, so I'm taking this opportunity to try to answer these questions for both of them!

Some basic info about both of them since this is I believe my first time talking about them:

Briya: 18, she/her, lesbian. Tanned skin, brownish blonde hair, light brown eyes. Notably very tall, and kind of has a Barbie aesthetic going on with her clothes. Studying to eventually be a doctor, but works as a jewelry maker for a local shop in the meantime.

Faremi: 17, vae/vaer (will accept she/her but doesn't like it so much), nonbinary and bisexual. Very dark skin, black hair kept in twists, brown eyes that almost seem black. Kind of a punk or goth aesthetic. Wants to be a textile engineer but often gets relegated to "local fashion designer."

Pencil: does this character have any "sketchy" habits? Have they ever broken the law? Do they regret it?

Something important to understand about Briya is that she's kind of the embodiment of the meme that's like "*cocks gun* I'm a healer, but..." She wants to help people, more than anything. She has no qualms about skirting unfair medical laws to do it. She also has no qualms about using aggression in a "treat others how you want to be treated/eye for an eye" philosophy against people who hurt others or get in her way. This sounds intimidating, but mostly it looks like her getting the neighborhood bullies to pick on people their own size instead of all of her (comparatively tiny) friends lol.

Honestly, Faremi is the type who wouldn't even go over the speed limit when driving or pirate MP3s off of the internet. There is literally nothing actually sketchy about vaer lmao. People feel that vae is quite approachable and doesn't have any suspicious vibes at all.

Paintbrush: How often does your character "brush over" conflict instead of facing it head on? Is there something specific they don't like to face, or do they avoid conflict as a whole?

Briya doesn't actively go looking for conflict, but she always faces it head on if a situation comes up. She isn't afraid to speak her mind about what's going on, even if her thoughts might seem rude or unpleasant to other people.

Faremi can have a tough time acknowledging interpersonal issues; even if there's something bugging vaer in a relationship vae has, vae's more likely to sit on the complaint in silence instead of initiating a conversation (=potential conflict) about it. This is particularly true when it involves vaer romantic partners.

Colored Pencil: if given the choice, would this character splurge on an expensive (but potentially worthwhile) branded product, or buy a low-budget alternative even if the quality suffers?

I think that with both of them being involved in product design, they can appreciate the long-term value of paying for quality. Of course, if the brand-name version is upcharged for no good reason, they'll go for a less expensive alternative that still provides good quality.

Graphite: what's something decently common that your character does in a unique or different way? (like how graphite is present in all pencils, but not everyone uses pure graphite)

Faremi and Briya both have a single section/streak of their hair dyed, and they've each been redyeing with the same color for years now. Faremi's is a deep shade of red, while Briya's is pastel pink. It's not that uncommon for people around them to have hair in vibrant colors, but usually someone will do the whole head of hair instead of just keeping the one little section.

Pastels: Give me three colors that best represent your OC. Now give me three colors that your OC likes best. Is there an overlap?

Hmm, let's see. Going with basic shades here so I don't overthink it with the color theory or anything lol.

I'd say 3 colors that represent Briya are pink, white, and grey, while 3 she likes are pink, red, and orange. So clearly, pink is kind of a defining color for her, but she has more of an eye for color than you might suppose from looking at her.

3 colors that represent Faremi are red, black, and yellow, while 3 vae likes are red, pink, and purple. Again, kind of a defining color in the red there. For vaer, though, liking pink and purple has more to do with who or what the colors are associated with than the colors themselves.

Palette: list four of your character's primary skills, then share at least two ways these skills might blend or overlap

Briya has very steady hands and a delicate touch, which are handy for both making jewelry and completing her medical studies. She is not only radically honest but also very effective at making other people say what they mean. She ends up being pretty good at most sports, too (maybe related to some combination of coordination, confidence, and general height/stature), though she doesn't actively seek these activities. is that 4 different skills idk

Faremi has a strong memory, especially for pattern recognition; this is part of what makes vaer an effective textile engineer and clothes designer. Vae is also compassionate and a great listener, which helps vaer deal with potential clients as well as make new friends. Lastly, vae likes to sing as a hobby, so that kind of draws on/feeds into the memory component.

[explodingfridge]

I suspect this was largely written in reference to the trans and lgbt peeps. I am an LGBT peep and this is an extremely valid and important point but strangely it’s actually affected me LEAST in relation to my being gay.

You see, I was an alt kid in middle and highschool. I spent an entire years dressing like a goth pirate. I spent the other years wearing all black and backcombing my hair. And all my grandparents fucking hated it dude. They kept asking me why I hated colors (my hair was red and then purple, mind you.) They wanted to know why I hated life, Why I dressed sad, Etc. And they would insist on buying me pastel and brightly colored clothes.

My grandma once bought me a bright pink pleather purse for christmas and I had to sit there and pretend to like it. I donated it to goodwill as soon as she left. That same grandma once took me on a shopping trip and refused to pay for the clothes I had picked out if I didn’t ALSO get something colorful. I picked a bright red sundress and literally never wore it. She paid money for this stupid dress that I never touched again just because her idea of cute is different than mine. (I gave the dress away several years later. It was pristine because all it had done was sit in my closet).

Eventually they gave up trying to buy me colorful clothes. But that grandma in particular never approved of my “edgy” aesthetic.

As an adult now, I find that while I still appreciate that trad goth look and the general goth subculture, I’m less inclined to dress that way myself. Now I wear lots of browns and muted greens as well as blacks. I buy the kinds of pants that professors in old movies would wear. My jewelry choices have graduated from big and chunky and spiked to smaller and more classical items.

And yet, I still feel the need to defend that segment of my aesthetic vehemently. In fact, I still “present goth” to said grandma just because she was so insist that it would “just be a phase” and that hurt me so much that sometimes I feel like a phony loser because I “couldn’t stick to my choices”. That it really was “just a phase” and that somehow it makes me a loser to want to try different things?

Your teens and your twenties are all about trying on new things. You’re SUPPOSED to be experimenting. And this applies to sexuality and gender too! If you think you might be gay or trans or whatever else, go dip your toes in! The only way you can find out if it’s truly for you is by trying it on. That doesn’t make you a poser. It doesn’t make you weak or false if you decide later that actually something else suits you better. Like OP said: EVERYTHING IN LIFE IS A PHASE.

Changing and evolving is part of being a human! Maybe you’ll take some of the things you learned in that phase with you and maybe you’ll have learned that those things are NOT for you, and that’s important too. Fuck around. Find out. People take inspiration and style and technique from the people around them in the same way that the best artists pull from other works and stories.

We’re all a melting pot of every person and thing that we’ve ever taken into our life.

“what if kids identify with something and it ends up just being a phase-?” good. stop teaching and expecting kids (and adults honestly) to formulate permanent traits and ideas of themselves. everything in life is a phase. that doesn’t make it any less legitimate while you experience it. let people explore themselves and know it’s okay if what you think about yourself changes.

[lindzaylove]

eighteen

A Kook's Perspective series

word count: 2.5k

trigger warnings: underage drinking, protective dad, controversial bandana color ???

taglist: @ashleyj27 @pogueslandia @maybankforlife @teelagurl558 @maybanktrash @psychosympathizer @slut4jj @cherrybarzy

gif by: @gemmusings

"are you sure you don't mind honey?" your mom asked, putting her earrings on. you nodded again, hoping your parents would actually leave a lot sooner. "we just feel so bad about leaving you on your birthday."

"mom, it is really okay. i'll probably just order some food and watch movies," you lied. your phone was vibrating in your pocket with the Pogues all wanting to know where you were.

"oh, have some people over! the Camerons would be welcome, that Thornton boy too," your mom stood from her vanity, turning to face you. "how do i look?"

"fabulous, as always," you smiled. she did look absolutely stunning. you were sure she would put all the other military girlfriends and wives to shame at.....whatever event this was in Charleston. at that moment, your dad came in.

"Sarah is outside," your dad said, checking his tie in the mirror before looking at you. "i think she has something for your birthday."

"Sarah Cameron?" you asked, turning to look out the window. there she stood, leaning against a black car with a relatively large and thin pink square in her hand. "what the fu-"

"Y/N," your mom scolded you, coming to look out the window as well. "i didn't know you and Sarah were getting to know one another."

"we aren't," you turned around. "i can walk out with you guys and talk to her then."

"go on down, i want to talk to Y/N for a moment," your dad said, pressing a kiss to her cheek. your mind ran over all the things you've done in the past week to warrant getting in trouble with your dad. you had purposefully stayed home since the boneyard party incident and avoided even speaking to the Pogues in case your parents had caught it.

"so, i saw Jake Allen at the club yesterday," your dad fixed his sleeves. your heart stopped; your whole body froze. he obviously knew everything, but no excuse could pour out of your mouth about why you had been with Rafe.

"he said he saw you and Rafe Cameron driving around the island," he finally looked at you. "at one in the morning."

"he did," you nodded. "i had been down at the beach that night. Rafe, Sarah, Topper Thornton, and Kelce Smith were there doing their own thing. I didn't drive, so instead of letting me walk home, Rafe gave me a ride." you were twirling a bracelet around your wrist behind your back, nerves coursing through you.

"that all that happened?"

"he dropped Kelce off, then Topper and Sarah, and then we got here around one. i wasn't ready to come in so we drove around and listened to music. i got home around three and went straight to bed."

"he ran a red light with you in the car," your dad put his hands in his pockets. "so why didn't i know until yesterday?"

"i dropped my phone and he was just making sure i was okay. we just happened to go through the light. he wasn't speeding or driving erratically at all," you were pleading, though you weren't sure why. he wasn't even angry at you, he was angry with Rafe for getting you in trouble and putting you in danger. you could easily put him under the bus and let your dad drive it over him, but you couldn't. you were getting defensive for him.

"he wasn't drinking or on anything?" your dad was still set in his stance, but you were done playing with your bracelet.

"if i was in danger, you know i would have told Mr. Allen," you crossed your arms. "can i go get my present now?"

"yeah, of course," your dad finally calmed down. "i'm just glad it wasn't one of those other kids you're always hanging out with. they must have been at that party that night."

"mhm," you rolled your eyes as you went down the stairs. outside, it was starting to get warm out as the sun went to reach its peak in the sky. your mom was talking to Sarah, who was standing up straight from the car and moving her hands around as she spoke.

"hey," you greeted them, pulling your cardigan up over your shoulder despite the heat. "what's up?"

"happy birthday," Sarah smiled, going to grab the once forgotten gift she had for you. "it's from Rafe, actually."

"he couldn't give it to her?" your dad asked, joining everyone in the front yard. you were staring at Sarah, hoping Rafe had a really good excuse for sending his sister - for his sake.

"he and my dad are going into Charleston today," Sarah told him. you closed your eyes, praying your dad doesn't make a smart comment.

"we're going into Charleston!" your mother smiled, you could hear it in her voice. "what are you they going for?"

"my dad has some business to do and dragged Rafe along. but you two look much nicer than some business meetings," Sarah complimented them.

you rolled your eyes. your dad was literally in his Marine Corp Dress Blue Uniform.

"open up your gift before we leave you two," your dad said. he was smiling, though it didn't reach his eyes. you pulled the pink tissue paper off the gift, your jaw dropping as you realized what it was. you pulled all the paper off, revealing to everyone the Chase Atlantic Vinyl.

"he got you a record?" Sarah asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

"we had talked about it the other night briefly," you brushed hair behind your ear, a big smile on your face. "i also have a record player in my room."

"that's so sweet," your mom said. your dad cleared his throat in response.

"you two need to go before you miss your ferry," you told them, ushering them to your father's car. they both kissed you on the cheek and left. you let out a sigh, coming face to face with Sarah by yourself.

"thank you, for giving this to me," you held up the vinyl slightly. "you can go home now."

"that's not the only reason i'm here," Sarah admitted. you paused to look at her instead of going inside. she held up a bandana - a gray piece of fabric that was far too familiar.

"what are you doing with that?" you turned all the way back around. "is John B. okay?"

"he sent me to come pick you up. you're supposed to be coming over to the chateau for your birthday and i am your ride since i had to see you to give you that," Sarah put the bandana back in her pocket. "so go put that inside and let's go."

"whatever," you mumbled, going back into your house. as you went up the stairs to your room, a piece of paper came out of the vinyl. you stopped and picked it up.

happy birthday, y/n. sorry it doesn't have your favorite song, but i hope it'll do - R.C.

you smiled the rest of the way up to your room, adding the record to your box of others. you switched tops and lost the cardigan.

the note from Rafe was sweet, even if all it really said was happy birthday. you thought over whether or not to add it to your memo board, but you slid it on there despite your better judgement. by the time you got downstairs, Sarah was in her car and scrolling on her phone. you got in the front seat next to her, pulling your phone out. Sarah's music was playing quietly through the speakers, but you quickly went to send Rafe a message on Instagram.

thank you for the gift! it means a lot that you got me something :)

you checked your other messages, quickly heading to the group chat to question why Sarah was suddenly involved in your birthday plans. all you got in reply were the eye emojis, though John B. wasn't answering your messages which made you even more annoyed. you were out of Sarah's car before she was parked.

"John B.!" you yelled, storming into the chateau. he came out of his room, a wide smile on his face.

"hey Y/N! happy eighteenth!" he went to give you a hug, but you out your hands up and blocked him.

"why the hell does Sarah have your dad's bandana?" you pointed at her as she came in. "why is she even here at all?"

"well, you were there when we kissed," John B. swallowed. you crossed your arms, biting gently on your tongue. "and this past week she broke up with Topper and came-"

"she went home with him that night!" you exclaimed. "like held his hand and went into his house."

"you went with them, you can't be mad at her for that," John B. threw it back.

"i didn't kiss someone in front of my boyfriend, then let my boyfriend beat him up, and ultimately leave with my boyfriend," you turned to Sarah. "did you and Topper fuck while you were at his house? you were all over him in the truck."

"i didn't," she glared at you. "let me know when she calms down, i'm going outside."

"funny how she gets to talk to me like i'm a dog and you don't stick up for me at all," you looked at John B. "let alone on my birthday."

"i'll talk to her about it after you explain to me what went through your mind when you went with her," John B. leaned against the wall.

"i was thinking that my father would happily blame you all for what happened and get you all in trouble if i had been seen by the police with you. i was the farthest away from the twinkie and would have gotten as all pulled over and in trouble if you'd have to wait. so excuse me for caring about the well being of my friends," you raised your eyebrows. "gonna go get your girlfriend to apologize now?"

"you went ghost after that night. we all just eventually assumed that Rafe convinced you of something bad. Sarah had said he took you home alone and that after she broke up with Topper she went straight home. she got home around two and he didn't get home until after three. he wouldn't talk about what took him so long so we didn't know what happened," John B. explained. "that doesn't give me the right to be a jerk to you, so i'm sorry."

"my dad knew about the party and i didn't want him to connect it to you guys. but Rafe and i just listened to music, that's all," you said, though you were still hurt that they thought Rafe would have that much influence on you. yeah, being with Rafe was fun, but they were still your friends. you were not that fickle in your opinions.

your opinions on Rafe, however....

"i understand now," John B. gave you a half smile, holding his arms out. "can i give you your birthday hug now?"

"i suppose," you teased with a matching smile, giving him a hug. you two hugged and went outside together, the other four people at John B.'s all looking at you expectantly.

"i'm eighteen, not eighty. you guys can be happy for me," you told them, laughing slightly. Kie was the first to come hug you, Pope following with JJ trailing along. John B. went to Sarah and they seemed to talk. by the time you wrangled out of JJ's grip, Sarah came and apologized.

"hey Y/N," Sarah started, fingers rubbing the thin material tied around her neck. you recognized it as the bandana. however angry you were before, it was John B.. he was your friend and you trusted his judgement - despite how dumb he seemed some times.

"i'm sorry," you told her. "you didn't have to come over this morning and bring me here, but you did. you clearly like John B. and he likes you, and you won't be going anywhere. i just thought it was going to be us five, but six is a better number."

"i'm sorry for being rude too, especially since it's clear how much you care ab-"

"let's get this party started!" JJ yelled, interrupting you and Sarah by pulling a beer out of no where and handing it to you. you took a drink and smiled at Sarah.

it truly was the beginning of one of your favorite days ever.

there was glow sticks, alcohol, and a hot tub. you got more bracelets from Kie, a book you had been wanting to read from Pope, a serenade from John B. and JJ, and an IOU from Sarah. there was so much laughter and cheer, you couldn't believe that once upon a time these people weren't your friends. you were so grateful for them, for the adventures they've taken you on.

nonetheless, nagging in the back of your mind, was that feeling in your chest. were you having fun doing something you shouldn't be right now? yes. was it giving you that feeling? unfortunately, no. your brain kept thinking about Rafe despite the dancing and drinking with your friends. you kept thinking about that feeling in your chest you were missing. you were really trying to not let it bother you. you wanted to find your way back to Rafe's truck with the windows down and music blaring. you realized you would probably be chasing that feeling for the rest of your life. the revelation made you ready to go home and listen to your new vinyl - at least that would remind you of that feeling. it was the first time you had ever felt out of place while with your friends.

"hey, are you feeling okay?" Sarah asked, gently touching your elbow. you vaguely remembered that she wasn't drinking because John B. knew you had to be home by the time your parents got back.

"i should probably get home. it's getting late," you nodded, putting your drink down on the counter. "where are my-"

"in my car already. say your goodbyes and i'll see you out there," Sarah smiled, heading out the door to the porch. you splashed some water in your face, hoping to finally calm yourself down. it was dark out now, and you were probably supposed to be home. you checked your phone again, the only message being from Rafe.

"who's that?" Kie asked, popping in next to you. you locked your phone, shoving it in your pocket.

"just some birthday wishes," you waved it off, holding Rafe as your secret. it was just a birthday present anyway, no need to get everyone torn up about it.

"happy birthday, Y/N," Kie hugged you suddenly. "i can't wait to go on a road trip with you once we graduate."

"of course," you hugged her back. "thank you for an amazing night, as always. you're a great friend, Kiara."

"you're just going home for the night, Y/N. no one is disappearing forever," she laughed pushing you out the door while she went to the bathroom. you gave your hugs to the boys before getting into Sarah's car. you checked your phone again, finally being able to see his reply.

i'm glad you like it, you deserve it. happy birthday, y/n x

[labgrowndaddyissues]

The idea that transmascs are afforded male privilege ignores literally the majority of transmasc experiences. We are denied access to our healthcare, we are NOT welcome in male spaces, and believe it or not we don't just come out and then suddenly are able to go stealth. A lot of us don't go stealth. And if you do that doesn't take away the time before being able to go stealth.

When I was in highschool as an out pre-t trans guy, I was denied access to male roles in my theatre and male vocal parts in my choir because I didn't "sound like" a "real" man. I had people threaten to murder me in bathrooms. I had teachers misgender and dead name me because I looked like a girl, despite my best efforts to pass.

My family, who for the most part was supportive, immediately turned to misgendering and deadnaming me the minute I was anything less than hypermasc presenting. I grew out my hair, dyed it pink, and stopped binding and that was enough for them to denounce my manhood. Trans men are denied our identities the minute we don't try to perfectly conform to cis male standards, so don't even try to say we are afforded the benefits of male privilege.

I have also experienced so much sexual harassment and people attempting to "fix" me. I had a partner, who was trans and bisexual mind you, pressure me to delay my transition because he thought transmasc bodies were unattractive. This partner also misgendered me constantly despite claiming to see me as a man. When I started to present more femininely I was congratulated on my detransition, despite still identifying as a man.

The idea that trans men experience male privilege beyond just passing as a man in public is asinine. I am constantly misgendered and mistreated in medical settings. My reproductive healthcare has been deemed "unnecessary" on multiple occasions. When going into inpatient therapy in an emergency room I had to wait over a day in isolation so the doctors could find a place I could go to because they didn't want to put me with men or women.

I am terrified to use men's bathrooms, even on days I think I pass, because if another man hears me peeing in the stall they might clock me. I'm terrified that I look too masculine or feminine to dress how I want to because someone will know I'm trans. I am terrified to exist in public because I am visibly trans.

We aren't treated like men. We are treated like gross, confused women who need to be fixed or disposed of. We are treated as failures of patriarchal femininity. It doesn't matter how we want to be seen, because unless someone goes full stealth, they'll never truly get to experience what it's like to be a cis man. And even then there are some things that will never go away no matter how hard you try to appear cis.

The idea that transmasc people are all afforded male privilege is a transmedicalist perspective. It implies that we all are making a full medical transition and are going stealth, presenting completely as a man. It ignores pre-t and never-t men. It ignores gnc men. It ignores pre-surgery and never-surgery men. It ignores people who don't want to stealth. But even in trans spaces these men are never truly seen as men, are we?

I kinda just stopped watching videos by trans essayists. Nothing against them personally but there's just so much casual transandrophobia that gets slipped in probably without their knowledge, but it's hard to watch. Jesse gender from her barbie video, she says something that basically implies that somehow trans men are like the common transgender. That he gets praised and benefited from his masculinity in a way that trans women do not benefit from their femininity.

I just wish trans people would stop making sweeping generalizations about all other trans people solely based out of their own experiences.

The video was about white feminism and the lack of Barbies intersectionality but then just ignored the intersectionality of trans men.

[heyhihellowhatsup0]

Hooked On Your Feelings - Chapter One (FWB! Tom Holland x Reader)

Prologue

Warnings: Some angst, language, eventual smut in future chapters, fluff

Word Count: 4155

Summary: After a bad breakup, making an agreement with your womanizing neighbor, Tom to be friends with added benefits and no strings attached seemed like the perfect idea. Until things become messy, emotions caused your agreement to crumble.

A/N:   I have been dying to post more so the day is finally here! I am so happy everyone has given my such amazing and sweet feedback! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Needless to say, this chapter does have smut! DM me to be tagged and I cannot wait to hear everyone’s thoughts! (Also .gif is not mine. DM me for credit please, I found on google!) Thank you xx -N

You woke up the next morning with your head pounding while the sun hit your eyes as you opened them. Turning on your back you let out a sigh once you realized where you were. The same bed you figured you would be in even though you were hoping it was all a dream and what had happened didn’t actually take place. 

Remaining underneath Tom’s dark and satin sheets since you knew you had nothing on, you pivoted your head upward and saw his eyes opened and staring up at the ceiling. Clearly, neither one of you had any idea how to address what the hell happened between the two of you last night and you certainly weren’t going to be the one to initiate.

Tom licked his lips as he adjusted himself from under the covers. Did he really just sleep with you? Sure, he thought about having that moment with you. Countless times, actually. It was no secret you were breathtakingly beautiful and he always had that fantasy about you. But you were always dating that idiot for whatever reason and Tom always thought you were never into him in that way.

None of it was planned, of course. It just happened. One minute, you were both drinking and just simply there next to each other. The next, Tom and you were stumbling into his bedroom. Laughing in between kisses as you removed one another’s clothes and experiencing what was probably some of the best sex he’d ever had. His entire body was vibrating still from how he had felt and he never in a million years would have even thought you were the least bit interested in him like that. Then again, you were both clearly going through some really weird stuff last night.

You were both vulnerable and feeling things you didn’t want to admit to other people but for some reason, Tom was alright with admitting it to you and you both found a way to get rid of the feeling, even if it was temporary. He didn’t want you to regret it, because he sure as hell didn’t. He certainly wasn’t expecting any of that with you but it was a hell of a night and he was far from complaining about it. He was just worried you regretted it.

A lot could be said in your silence with Tom as you lay there, the both of you now staring up at the ceiling and neither of you were speaking. You couldn’t help but feel a little awkward while you tried to figure out what to say. Do you just thank him for the night and leave? Should you just say you had work and grab your clothes or just maybe not say anything at all? The silence was killing you for a variety of reasons and you were still trying to rack your brain trying to figure out why you initiated the first kiss to begin with. You weren’t drunk at all but for some reason you just wanted it. You wanted him. And in that moment last night, you were glad he wanted you too.

Tom cleared his throat, the stillness between you both was causing a rise in his anxiousness, “Well...we had sex last night,” he stated the obvious as plainly as possible. Maybe he should have just kept his mouth shut.

“Yeah,” you answered in an obvious tone. You held back from your laughter as you pushed your hair out of your face, “I should probably go,” you told him as you tried to cover yourself up with the sheets even though you already knew Tom saw you naked last night. There were no more secrets between you both. Clearly.

Tom sat up from the bed and began looking for his sweatpants to throw on before he started to help you find your clothes across the bedroom floor. He handed you your t-shirt as he politely turned away while you changed, “Do you want coffee or something?” he offered, something he would never offer another girl who stayed the night.

Offering any girl any type of breakfast or anything of the sort automatically made them believe Tom wanted them to stay longer. To go out on a date or to get a phone call from him later. Commitment. So he always avoided it and usually had you kick them out if they couldn’t get the hint. But obviously you were different being that you were a friend who he just so happened to sleep with. He was grateful you were there with him and he’d never dismiss you as quickly. He cared about you in the same ways you cared about him. Neighborly love. Who he happened to be attracted to and vice versa.

“Nah, I’m okay. I have some back at my place,” you answered casually as you grabbed your leggings as Tom handed you one of your shoes, “Thanks,” you said to him with a small smile as you tried not to act like you were rushing out of there.

You tried to make yourself presentable as Tom began to walk you out of the bedroom, unsure if he should thank you for the night or not. You turned to him with a sarcastic smile and pointed towards your messy waves, “Wow, I guess this officially makes me a notch on your belt, huh?” you tried to joke to make it less weird between you two.

“For the record, you are not a notch or anything like that, Y/N,” Tom said sternly to make sure you knew that last night was actually a night he didn’t regret at all, “I uh...actually had a pretty good time,” he felt his cheeks tinge a hint of pink as he admitted that to you. Another thing he knew to never say to a girl he brought home. Ever.

Making a face at him, you breathed out a small laugh while you nodded your head in agreement, “Yeah, I did too,” you told him honestly.

The two of you just stood in the kitchen by Tom’s door for a minute. Waiting for the other person to say something but neither of you did. You rocked back and forth on your heels as Tom slid his hands into his pockets, “This isn't weird, is it?” you questioned in a light tone.

“What? No!?” Tom chuckled nervously. He crossed his arms in front of his chest in an attempt to be nonchalant while the elephant of the deed you two had done remained between you both, “Wh-why-why would it be weird?” he stammered.

Leaning in a bit closer towards him, you narrowed your eyes in on Tom, “We had sex,” you whispered as if somebody else was in the room and could overhear your entire conversation.

Tom copied your motion and leaned in in the exact same way, “I don’t think it’s a secret now,” he teased you with a playful smirk, making you laugh as he pulled away. He gave you a nudge against your shoulder, “It’s only weird if we make it weird, right?” he reminded himself.

Lots of friends sleep together and continue to be friends. This was nothing out of the ordinary. Besides, you were more neighborly than friends. So it was a completely different situation than what typical friends had dealt with in the past. Tom was right, you reminded yourself.

“No weirdness on my end,” you told him with a smile as you held out your palm as if you were swearing in a courtroom, “Promise,” you added with a playful wink.

Tom smiled back, leaning forward to get the door for you but you accidentally mistook his gesture for a hug and wrapped your arm around his neck. You cussed under your breath at your embarrassingly stupid moment while you apologized profusely to Tom as he tried to save the awkwardness by giving you a half-assed hug in return. You tried to hide the wincing your eyes were making from the hug but you knew he noticed. Of course he noticed.

Looking down at the floor because you were now too embarrassed to look in his direction, you said your goodbyes as Tom promised to swing by this week with his usual pizza while you began walking faster towards your apartment. But you didn’t want Tom to think you were that flustered by your interactions that you quite literally ran away to hide out. 

You finally got inside your door and realized everything remained untouched since you had kicked Justin out last night. The bottle of wine was still open and sitting on the counter, the television was still on in the living room and there were still a bunch of clothes he had left behind that you needed to desperately get rid of.

Everything in your apartment remained frozen in time while you felt like you jumped lightyears ahead of it from your one night spent with Tom. It was a strange feeling as you walked over to turn the television off but you didn’t feel angry like you had felt last night. You weren’t exactly over the events that took place with Justin but you were on the path to accepting it and you weren’t sure if Tom had something to do with it or not.

There was no denying that you were still hurting from everything. It was still a fresh wound and you had felt so betrayed from it all, you weren’t sure how you would bounce back from it or if you even would. You never dealt with a breakup as ugly as this one so it was a new feeling for you that you were still trying to wrap your head around.

And even though when you were with Tom for the brief time that you were, it felt like it was almost exactly what you needed last night. You didn’t hold back from him and you were comfortable enough around Tom telling him exactly what you needed. Letting your frustrations and anger out on him and Tom letting his feelings out on you led to an explosion between the two of you that surprisingly left you possibly wanting more.

Wanting more from Tom.

Changing into a fresh outfit from last night, you continued to replay the night over and over again in your mind. It was unexpected to say the least, but not in a bad way. Not by any means. If you thought it was bad or awkward, you probably wouldn’t be standing in front of your closet still thinking about the things Tom made you feel.

He made you forget about the drama, if even for one night. But he still managed to make you think that you didn’t need Justin anymore. Maybe you didn’t need anyone right now other than a simple fix here and there to make you feel good. Maybe something without any strings attached was what you needed right now in order to move on and numb your pain for a bit.

You knew Tom was dealing with his own commitment issues and neither one of you were looking for anything complicated. It may not be the best idea in the world to be thinking about something like this but clearly neither one of you knew how to be alone at the moment. You didn’t really want to be fully alone anyway, and you were both comfortable enough with each other where you could be honest about this stuff. Maybe Tom was right, there shouldn’t be any weirdness between you.

Maybe some great sex and not an ounce of attachment was the elixir to the chaos Justin caused for you. No formalities. No planned out, stuffy dates. No mingling with friends and their significant others. No justin. And certainly no types of feelings that would get you in a mess you clearly weren’t looking for right now.

Just good fucking sex. And...it didn’t hurt that your neighbor might be looking for the same type of thing that you were. At least you had hoped.

And when the thoughts and memories and god, downright blissful remembrances of his touch kept invading your mind, just standing there in your apartment thinking about it wasn’t enough. The anxiousness vibrated through your body and you knew what you might be needing from down the hall.

You pulled on a new t-shirt before grabbing your keys. You had never done anything like this before, what if Tom said no? Maybe it should just remain a one time thing between the two of you. Your nerves were attacking you relentlessly as you locked your door, slipping your key ring around your finger and securing it tightly.

But if Tom could do things like this, what was stopping you? The pure rush of anxiety and adrenaline...but it was stupidly guiding you right back to his door. This was insane. Completely stupid. He’d never agree to this. 

Your mind was telling you to turn around and go back home. But that side of you that you never let come out was saying ‘fuck it. Have some fun for once. You’ve been through enough heartbreak and this is something for you.

The safe way got you hurt. More than once. And as you lifted your hand to tap your knuckles against the door, you knew you were done playing it smart. 

Barely getting through the first knock, the door swung open. You let out a yelp as you practically hit Tom in the face while he almost walked right into you. The two of you running into each other as your bodies slightly crashed into one another.

“Oh shit!” Tom exclaimed as he pulled back with an awkward laugh. He ran a hand through his still messy curls, “I was actually on my way to see you,” he admitted, pressing his lips together as he looked at you in the doorframe.  

You reached up and crashed your lips against Tom’s without warning, “Let’s make a deal,” you told him through your hungry kiss as you began to feel Tom start to kiss you back. He moaned into you as he captured your top lip in between his.

“W-what?” Tom mumbled against your lips once again, bringing you inside of his place as he kicked the door shut. He was surprised this was happening so suddenly. Especially since he was just about to be on his way over to your place to ask you for just about the same thing. He knew it didn’t feel right when you left this morning and it was because he wanted to feel this way again. With you. 

“I can still help with your horrible conquests but...in the meantime, we make up for our shit love lives with damn good sex,” you explained while catching your breath from your last kiss. You stood in the living room with Tom’s hands resting on your hips with lust for you in his eyes. 

He pulled back from his embrace with a quirked brow, “You’re serious,” he noted as he smirked at you. He was honestly surprised considering he never saw this side to you. You were always with the same guy for as long as you lived here. It was strange and new to him to see you wanting something that he did.

“No strings attached, of course,” you added. The words sounded ridiculous but you ignored that thought. 

“I...christ, Y/N. I can’t say I haven’t thought about having endless mindblowing sex with you,” he said as his eyes rolled over you. 

“Mindblowing?” you chuckled, “Someone’s cocky,” you teased. 

“Rude. But back to the point...are you sure about this?” Tom got serious. His focus on you as he stepped back to give you some space. He didn’t want to be overbearing or act like he was trying to just get you back in bed. Even though that was basically what he was doing regardless of the situation.

The bottom line was, he had an amazing time with you. And unlike the random girls he brought home, you knew him. There was an understanding between you and him that he knew you got. And he could be open with you by saying he didn’t want anything serious. He wouldn’t need to find a way to get rid of you in the morning. He could distract himself from the nonsense he would think about while ravishing you in the process. It was the perfect idea.

You took a moment. Wondering again if you were just crazy to suggest this. But the way his brown eyes were studying you, it just felt right. 

“I’m sure if you are,” you finally answered. 

Tom was silent but it didn’t take him long to make his mind up. Taking a few steps forward, he picked you up in one swift motion and brought you over towards the couch where you straddled his hips before going in for another kiss. His hand was already slipping underneath your shirt and up your back as he helped you remove it along with his, tossing it towards the empty side of the couch you weren’t using.

Helping you out of your leggings, you found your way back towards Tom’s lap and grinded your hips against him in between your kisses. The cravings you both shared for one another grew wilder as you continued, “We’re really doing this?” you muttered against his lips with another gasp as you helped release him out of his already bulging boxers.

“Think so,” Tom laughed against your skin, trailing his lips down to your neck as he pushed your hair to one side, “Unless you want to stop?” he pulled back for a minute, not wanting to overstep if you were having second thoughts.

Biting your bottom lip, your hand went down to Tom’s hardened length and ran along it. Rubbing the pre-cum seeping from his tip as you watched Tom throw his head back against the couch with a low moan, “Does it look like I want to stop?” you asked him with a playful grin.

“Fuck, Y/N…” Tom hissed as his hands gripped your sides to release some of his frustration. He breathed out a laugh as his fingers went to your clit, beginning to circle you slowly, “Let me give you what you came here for. Hm, darling?” his voice grew raspy as he looked you in the eye, his pupils black the longer he waited.

Your eyes went down towards Tom’s waist, gasping as you watched him begin to tease your entrance with his tip. Cussing under your breath, you grabbed onto his shoulders tightly as you braced yourself for his impact. Tom pressed his hand against the small of your back as he waited for you to let him know it was okay. You nodded your head silently as you gave him an amorous look, “I want you, Tom,” you whispered lowly.

That was all it took before Tom guided himself into you. Going slow as he took his time to let you get used to him while you clenched around him. You lowered yourself deeper as he filled your core up entirely while you began to roll your hips against his slowly, letting out a moan as Tom hissed against your ear while twitching inside of you.

“Mmm, Y/N,” Tom breathed out a moan as he matched his thrusts with yours. His lips parted, moaning against your neck while he pressed open, sloppy kisses against your skin as he continued to rub your clit with his opposite hand, “You feel so fucking wet,” he praised you breathlessly.

“Keep touching me, Tom,” you cried out to him while you started to ride him faster. Even though you and Tom had just started these escapades, you certainly felt comfortable enough to tell him exactly what you wanted to make you feel good. Pressing the pad of his thumb against your swollen bud, your eyes clenched shut while you pushed yourself deeper into him, “Shit! Yes, right there,” you reassured him with another moan.

Guiding you down on his cock, Tom felt his entire body tense as soon as his lips met yours once again. His breaths getting heavy like yours as your name fell from his lips while he watched you bounce up and down on him, making him feel absolutely incredible as you continued to moan in his ear.

You felt your body beginning to tense as you kept going. Everything inside of you was aching for a release and Tom was giving it to you without a doubt. Rocking your hips into him more, you knew you were getting closer to your edge and you could feel Tom about to release as well.

Opening your eyes, you cupped Tom’s face with your palms and gave him one last fiery kiss. Your tongues finding each other wildly and tangled up before you both finally reached your highs together as you whimpered Tom’s name while you finally let go for him.

Tom cussed as he unraveled from beneath you. His body writhing while he watched you bury your face into the crook of his neck, muffling the sound of your moans against him. The vibrations from your sounds set him off further while he continued to reach his bliss, still thrusting into you while you rode out your tremor together.

“Holy….” Tom trailed off with a heavy breath, finally slowing down while his back hit the couch as he tried to pull himself together. He saw you pull your face away from his body, giving him the same exact look that he knew he had on his face, “Umm...yeah, holy fuck?” he laughed.

“That just about covers it,” you agreed as you kissed his cheek with a smile. You pushed Tom’s now damp and sweaty curls out of his face to capture his lips while you brought him closer to you, “So we have a deal?” you confirmed as Tom kissed you back.

Tom chuckled as his hands fell to your sides, his thumb creating small circles against you while he pursed his lips, “You’re really serious about this? No strings? No titles? Just like...just sex?” he clarified, still trying to wrap his head around you asking for this. It felt like a godsend and that it was too good to be true. Why couldn’t more girls be like you?

Tucking a loose strand of your hair behind your ear, Tom’s eyes went from your eyes, to your lips, and back as he sat there admiring you looking this way. You looked so effortlessly beautiful to him and even just as a friend, he was lucky to have you in his life. But now that he had you in other ways, you felt almost intoxicating to him. He couldn’t understand why that piece of garbage cheated on you. Tom had done some shady things to girls in the past and he didn’t see himself in ways others might but he knew he would have never done what that guy did.

You nodded as you turned your head to the side, “Do we have a deal, Tom?” you asked again, raising your eyebrow at him.

“Justin really did a number on you, huh?” Tom teased with a chuckle.

“We’re not talking about him,” you shushed Tom. Pressing your palm against his chest, you gave him a stern expression, “No talk about exes or...your conquests. We do this,” you gestured towards you straddling his legs before looking back at him, “Whenever we...feel like it. I guess,” even you weren’t sure of the rules but you figured you could make them your own anyway.

There was a pause as you quickly felt like you should add more, “We’re friends. Nothing more, nothing less,” you told him, wanting to be clear of at least one title throughout this whole pact the two of you were about to agree to, “Friends who...happen to jump each other’s bones?” you stated despite it sounding like a question.

Tom chuckled at your timid expression. His hands still at your sides as he leaned up and captured your lips again. “Deal.”

Taglist @osterfield-holland-andcompany @giuls-394 @missmulti @hazmyheart @lauras-collection @iamapersonwholikesunicorns @detroitbydark @mcuassemble @blahhhhhhhaaa @lonikje @beiroviski @ruefulposts @desir-ae @kayla-m1996 @unicorn-princess-1999 @asmilinghopelessromantic @itsjusttor @azaraspirit @whatareyouhidingpeter @when-marvellous-things-happen @mannien @lilostif16 @u-rrose @ninjalex1d @baby-unidorn @astoldbydanid @honey-sea @fallingforfics @lulueliott24 @mikalakat @babebenhardy @coni-martina @captainemrys @mktravelbuggie @underoosmarvel @pluckypete @hollandfanficlove @lookalivefrosty @lightmelikeacigarette @msmarvel-19  @parker-holland-osterfield @thwip-it-real-good @shirukitsune @justanotherusername80 @dangerdolns @jwolfesblog @jjayyc  @ifilosemyselfagain @axisnpalma @londonspidey @just-a-littlebit-of-everything @bookgirlunicorn @kfcyum @thenoddingbunny-blog @buzzbuzzitsmeagainbitch @herondale-snow-carstairs​ @marvelobsessedteenager @unlimitedd​ @dramaholic18​ @softholand​ @panicattheeverywherekid​ @emotionally-unstable23​ @quackeroos​ @unbelievableholland​ @holyhumorliteraturelight​ @spideyyeet​ @katiekinzs​ @fanficparker​ @ifntelyinspirit​ @rubberducky-jrr​ @xguardgirlx​ @selfcarecap​ @localfangirlx​ @xxpeachyxo​ @hazardosterfield​ @xstarbae​ @justanotherusername80​ @photoshopart15​ @spiderbibby​ @the-fandom-life-forever​ @jannine00742​ @parachutepantswedgie-blog​ @decadentwastelandtrash​ @anythingthaticareabout​ @outshineallthestars​ @captainamirica​ @thehauntingofmymind​ @watermelonsponge​ @sinisterspidey​ @adayasgeorgia​ @obliviatevamps​ @damnrancidchicken​ @lolooo22​ @cocoamoonmalfoy​ @spideyspeaches​ @hollandprkr​ @peachitofu​ @quacksonholland​ @itscaminow​ @ohtobelovedbyyou​ @diffind0​ @tomhollandsslut​ @chipot-lol​ s @outerbanks-fics​ @agustdowney​ @305weasley​  @shrutipatel08

[sinswithpleasure]

The Playgirl (ft. LOONA's Yves) [Part 2] [Female Reader]

---------------

Hello! I'm back with part 2!

Futa!Yves x Fem Reader, just in case ya forgot.

If you prefer, this is also on AO3 and AFF!

---------------

Yves shows up on time for tutoring, to your surprise.

"Hey baby."

"Don't 'baby' me."

"Sure. Let's start."

"Alright. Open up the textbook. We're starting from the basics. I've printed out some of the prerequisites for this topic, since what you did last time wasn't up to standard due to lack of practice of the basics. Now…"

Yves listens attentively. In fact, things go a bit too smoothly for the both of you. Yves doesn't make any cheeky quip, pull out any pet names, or flirt with anyone that passes by. The womanizing playgirl you knew disappears, and in its place is a focused, dedicated young woman. Sometimes, you even find yourself staring at her work on the problems in front of her. The change is… welcome, to say the least.

Your eyes roam Yves's styled hair, swiped back to expose her forehead, down to her beautiful large eyes, button nose, and full lips.

God, you're gay. Sure, you're literally admiring the beauty of the most insufferable bane of the universe, but you're just so fucking gay and hot people are hot, no matter how irritating they are, so...

When your eyes shift back up, you're met with Yves's smirk.

"See something you like, babe?"

Fuck.

"N-no."

"Liar."

"Fuck off." You rush to change the subject. "How're you doing?"

"I've been done for a while. You would know if you weren't spending the time looking at me."

You refuse to dignify her with a response, checking through the solved problems. With your coaching, Yves manages to get two more questions correct as compared to last time, but she still makes some simple mistakes.

"Okay, here's the issue. In question two…"

---------------

Yves continues to show up for every tutoring session. Somehow, a week passes by, and it is now Friday.

"Good afternoon, babygirl."

"Don't 'babygirl' me. How many times do I have to say it?"

"Mm, whatever. How're you doing?"

"Why do you care?"

Yves pulls out the chair next to you, leaning back on it, resting her legs on the table. She turns to you, grinning.

"Of course I'd care! You're my tutor, and if you don't feel good, you won't be able to teach me properly. If I don't get taught, I won't learn, then I'll fail, and I don't get to win. You know that I always win."

"I'm not sleeping with you."

"That's what you say, but not what you mean."

"Fuck you."

"That's what you'll be doing in five months' time."

"No I won't. Bring out the Calc textbook. We're going through Chapter 4 today."

"Alright, babygirl."

----------------

The change in Yves becomes apparent when she somehow is present earlier than you on Monday morning.

"Yves?"

"Oh, hey babe."

You sigh at the pet name, but having heard her call you that for quite some time now, it doesn't grind your gears as much anymore.

"Don't 'babe' me."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

Yves returns her attention to the papers she is working on, and the familiar math problems catch your eye.

"Calc?"

"Yeah. I promised I'll be the best student. Here I am."

"We'll see about that."

"You're looking at it right now." Yves rises from her chair, and in a flash, she has her arm around your waist, her face inches from yours. "I'm going to win, babygirl."

"G-Get off me!" Your face reddens instantly at the close proximity of your lips to hers. Memories of the chaste kiss Yves planted take front and center stage, and you can't help but look away from Yves.

"You're so pretty."

Yves has her gaze locked on your lips, then to your eyes. She is so close, too close, even. Heat flashes all over your body—every touch Yves leaves on you seems to burn.

"I mean it. You're gorgeous."

"T-Thank you."

The smug smirk never leaves Yves's face. She releases you from her smoldering gaze and grip, but she leaves you with a rapidly beating heart and a large distraction for the day to come.

When class begins, Yves tries to take the time to listen to the professor. However, she is soon back to her old ways, flicking paper balls at classmates and being on her phone more than she listens.

"Yves."

"Yeah, baby?" She meets your gaze, her tongue darting out to moisten her dry lips. Her hands carry on working on moulding another tiny paper ball.

"You're not listening."

"I am!"

"What was the last thing the prof said?"

"Um…"

You roll your eyes.

"Best student, my ass."

"I made that promise to you, not to him."

"You won't learn if you don't listen to him either. How're you going to be the best if you can't even do that?"

"Oh, so that's how it is?"

"That's right." You think hard about the words you want to say next, but maybe… maybe it is worth the risk. After all, Yves is still the bane of your existence, but she could be less of that if she keeps up her effort in trying to learn.

"You don't get to fuck me if you're not the best."

You watch as Yves freezes. She stares at you, her jaw hanging, before she steels her gaze to your eyes, staring deep into your soul.

"So this is how you wanna play, babygirl?"

"Yeah." You can feel your bravado slowly disappearing.

"Fine. I'll listen. I'll play by your rules."

Yves leans to your ear, her breath sending shivers down your spine. Her deep whisper makes you shudder.

"You will be mine at the end of the year, baby. I promise you: I'll ace my exams, and you'll love me for it."

Perhaps provoking your seatmate wasn't the best idea. Now you have to deal with the deep flush on your face and neck, as well as the heat between your legs.

---------------

A month passes.

Every week, the same things go by—tutoring, classes, more tutoring, more classes. However, what changes is how close you and Yves get with each other. By no means were the both of you friends, but she isn't as much of a thorn in your side anymore.

[yves💘 sent a message:]

Baby

I need a bit more help with the math from the last chapter.

Can I see you this weekend?

Saturday, 10am, Seoul U entrance?

[You sent a message:]

Sure.

I'll see you.

[yves💘 sent a message:]

Good.

Dress nicely, baby. It's a date.

[You sent a message:]

Fuck off.

You groan when Yves manages to charm you through text. Outfit ideas are already flowing through your head, and you sink your face into the comfort of your palms. Why do you even care about looking pretty for Yves?⁶

Well… that genuine grin she flashed after a muffled gasp of surprise when you wore a dress once in the past month was gorgeous on her. That was why.

You remember Yves actually having the slightest hint of a blush when looking at you, and she seemed to be a little less flirty that day, opting to take short glances at you when she thought you weren't watching. This newfound attention was… welcome. You couldn't deny feeling shy having Yves check you out. After all, you were just the nerd girl in class, and having this attention from a hot girl you could consider a crush not as much of a pain in your ass felt so good.

-----

Saturday arrives, and here you are, waiting outside Seoul University.

You choose to keep things simple: just a simple button-down dress with daisies printed on the fabric. Your hair is tied up in a cute bun. The pink backpack you carry completes the look, with a nice pair of flats.

The sun isn't too bright, and a cool breeze keeps you comfortable while waiting. You can't help but get nervous, though you know it is irrational to feel so. After all, this is just another study session. However, Yves's text to you earlier in the week keeps flashing across your eyes.

'Dress nicely, baby. It's a date.'

You know this is just a study session. However, a part of you dimly wishes that it isn't, before you hurriedly bash those thoughts with a hammer and then set them on fire.

The revving of a motorbike catches your attention before it zooms down the road. You can see the bike move across the lanes, then slowing to a stop in front of you. The rider, clad in all black leather, complete with jacket and boots, seems to freeze in front of you, before slowly drawing the helmet off their head.

"Hey, babygirl."

Yves grins at you, her eyes sweeping over your body. Her gaze lands on your legs, moving up to your torso, your chest, and then to your eyes and hair.

The next words she mutters are meant to be kept to herself, but you hear her anyway.

"Fuck, you're gorgeous."

Your heart takes off, pounding against your chest. You try to hide the flush on your face by staring at the ground, but you field a gaze to Yves, who looks a bit like a deer caught in headlights. She looks so handsome, so cool, and downright fucking hot at the same time.

Hmm… What would it feel like being pinned under her again?

The intrusive thought you have gets stamped out instantly, but the effect lingers—you can't help but check Yves out, feeling a rush of heat deep within your loins.

Her agreement with you was starting to look more and more appealing. Maybe you do have to teach her well.

"Get on."

"What?"

"Let's go. I gotta park the bike, and the cafe isn't close by. Get on."

Yves hands you a spare black helmet, and you hesitantly take it.

"Don't kill me."

"I won't." She grins. "I like you too much to think about doing that."

Your breath catches in your throat. It's not uncharacteristic of her to say things like that so easily, but maybe… just maybe… you want her to mean it.

You get onto the bike as Yves holds it steady. You don't know where to put your hands, but Yves grabs your arms, pulling them to wrap around her waist.

"Hold on tight, babygirl."

"Okay." You can't believe what's happening right now.

"I'm gonna go."

The engine revs.

-----

Yves trails behind you as both of you make your way to the cafe. Yves is quiet along the way, unlike her usual flirting if she caught you staring at her. When you glance back to her, you see her eyes dart away from you, staring at the floor as she swipes her hair back.

Weird.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Oh, yeah. Never been better, baby." Her reply is unconvincing, especially with a forced grin, but you don't want to really push her for a reply.

"Er… Okay. Sure."

Both of you make your way into the cafe, stopping by the counter to grab the menu. When you sit down at a table, Yves sits across you, her eyes locked onto you as you peruse your options.

"You're staring a lot today, Yves."

"Oh, um, er…" She looks away, her voice soft. This is very unlike her.

"Are you really okay?"

"Yeah, baby. I'm feelin' great, ready to learn, and get good." She leans back, resting her hands on the armrests of her chair.

Oh.

She has a crop top on.

Oh my fucking God, she has abs.

You short circuit.

Two columns of defined muscle greet your eyes, as if to mock you. It wasn't like she was someone you didn't find hot. Now, you have to find out that she also has abs?!

Your mouth dries instantly, and you grab your bottle, taking a swig. The cool liquid quenches your physical thirst, but your mental thirst…

"Don't look too much, babygirl. You might get hypnotized."

Yves tilts your chin up with a finger, moving to lean close to your face.

"My eyes are up here."

Holy fucking shit, she's so fucking hot.

You wonder how you didn't notice them when she had that fishnet and crop top combo. Maybe her pants covered them, maybe you were blinded in your dislike for her. Whatever, you've seen them now. No reason to stop… respectfully staring, especially when you can.

"Look at me."

You meet Yves's smoldering gaze.

"Keep your eyes up here, babygirl." Her warm breath against your lips makes you yearn to lean in and close the gap. "I don't want them anywhere else when they're so beautiful."

You whimper involuntarily, and Yves chuckles.

"You're so fucking pretty, you know that?"

The shame that burns when you squeak and break your gaze to hide in the pretense of reading the menu is something you don't want to admit that you feel coursing through your veins, but it's there. When you lower the menu, Yves has her chin in her palm, her head tilted to the left, a satisfied grin on her features.

"I mean it, baby. You look really pretty today."

"T-Thank you."

"You're welcome. Let's order, I'm starving."

"Okay."

"Oh." Yves leans towards you, lowering the menu to stare into your eyes once more. "You'll get to see what you want to see when I ace the exams. Be patient, babe."

You groan.

-----

That night, you toss and turn on the bed incessantly. Every time you close your eyes, you can feel hot breath across your lips, smell the scent emanating off Yves, and sense her burning gaze on you. Yves's handsome features are burnt deep into your head, and just the thought of her sends your heart pounding and temperature rising.

You think of her abs under her clothes, the defined muscle jumping out to your eyes. She already looks so good, so delicious, and yet, things only go up from here.

The rush of heat between your legs doesn't help things.

You turn again, ignoring your basest desires. Bedtime it is.

[izusun]

Headcanon: Izuku is into DIY.

Hot Take: Izuku would create a long furby. He has a collection of various eldritch creepy long furbies. Katsuki absolutely refuses to go into his room because of them. He would've exploded them by now but that would make Izuku cry.

Other CursedTM Things that Izuku does that makes Katsuki die inside and that Katsuki tries to hide from the rest of Class 1-A:

He's a part of the Vulture Culture community and collects roadkill and dead animals to turn into bones.

He has a collection of shitty All Might hawaiian shirts.

He has a collection of stuffed animals. They all have names ripped from Lovecraft such as "Yawgsathoth" and "Mother of Pus"

He writes fanfiction of the heroes.

He has a giant worm on a string plush, and his room is also decorated with Worms on Strings (you have no idea how much Katsuki had to bribe him not to add worms on strings to his uniform blazer)

He does have a plague doctor mask and will regularly just go out in a cloak and his mask

He cosplays exclusively female heroes, and crossdresses the worst dresses

He basically does art makeup, on his face and the face of Katsuki

"Hey what are you reading?" "Oh, this book on how to cook frogs."

He will eat anything. Including stuff that is on the ground. He has an iron stomach.

The actual reason Izuku hangs up All Might everywhere (it used to be a mix of all heroes) is because once in middle school Katsuki accused him of being straight, so he put him up everywhere and continued the habit, Katsuki hates his room now

- Goblin Anon (otherwise known as Goblin anon projects everything she does or wants to do onto her fav)

HI GOBLIN!!! GENUINELY SCREAMED AT THIS AU BECAUSE WTF

even i would not want to enter the beloved’s (izuku’s) room because of his shit.

i’ve searched up long furbys and i am, simply put, traumatized. i had a collection of furbys when i was a kid but we had to give them away because there’s too much of them. but long furbys? i am very much scared.

there’d be a picture of a long furby under the cut, and i’m genuinely terrified of the fucker.

also, can i just say that izuku writing fanfictions is the least cursed thing that he does? because like, reading the rest is like looking at that picture where you can’t decipher a single thing because, again, wtf izuku.

but they’re also funnier? creepier? because i can genuinely see izuku doing those dhekdoowks

✄┈┈┈

this shit would probably be snaking around the frames of izuku’s door. or he probably has one at the corner of his wall, the one that meets with the ceiling, and when a visitor looks up, they’re greeted by the sight of this centipede looking furby that has additional four eyes that izuku lovingly and carefully sewn on. it’s so nightmarish :’)

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

the vulture culture part started when they were young. his interest started when he saw a documentary on how to pin butterflies and he was like, “you know what? thats actually something i want to do!” but! BUT!! he cannot catch a butterfly, thus he settled for mounting dragonflies which he collected in the nearby stream (where katsuki fell).

fun fact about mounting dragonflies: they lose colours when they’re dead. you can use acetone to not only help preserve its colours, but also to stop its decay. they decay so quickly, it’s terrible.

anyways, izuku does not know that and instead followed a youtube video of how to mount dragonflies, using an old picture frame as the case.

inko comes home, sees his son doing his stuff and is just happy that izuku’s not rewatching that loud all might video. she helps him pin the other wings and they are fascinated at how pretty they look. well, the next day, the wings are now transparent and the belly side of the dragonflies are black. it also stinks so they had to throw the whole thing plus the case.

izuku’s fascination grows from there.

a failed experiment, after all, instigates the desire to right them.

so that’s where he starts: butterflies, moths, beetles, another dragonfly case.

katsuki is fascinated and disgusted because, “why would you want dead insects in your room, deku?”

the rest began when the bakugou’s and the midoriya’s have road trips. inko doesn’t have a car so the bakugou’s drive along with them, and it’s a good day. the kids are having fun and getting along, and the parents are chilling and enjoying their vacation. life is good.

then on their drive home, izuku, who is sitting sandwiched between katsuki and inko, lets out this blood-curdling scream. it wakes katsuki up and almost had masaru swerving the car out of the highway.

“maru-san (because my boy izuku cannot say masaru) can you please stop the car! i wanna get that!” he screams, pointing at something indecipherable by the side of the roads.

masaru does anyways because it’s so rare for izuku to request something, but also his heart’s still pumping so fast after izuku’s scream.

masaru wasn’t even done stopping the engine when the car doors are opening, and katsuki and izuku are tumbling out, hand-in-hand. masaru and inko follow them closely, while mitsuki stayed to watch over the car.

katsuki’s excited for an adventure, but then izuku just. stops them. in front of a skull.

masaru chokes from behind them and katsuki lets go of izuku’s hand so fast, running back to his dad because, again, “deku what the shit?”

izuku ignores him and gestures at the deer skull, one that has moss growing by the teeth and around the jaw, turning to inko to ask, “mama? can we bring that home?”

masaru feels very faint, but doesn’t say anything when inko easily agrees, laughing at her boy and patting his untameable hair as if your child asking you for a carcass’s skull is normal.

inko picks it up and they go back to the car. mitsuki does a double-take on what inko’s holding, but shushes up when she saw izuku bouncing happily. katsuki hesitantly sits beside izuku, but when izuku began yammering about all might, he forgets about the skull and nerds out with izuku.

inko explains to mitsuki and masaru about her son’s newfound interest, telling them that it’d go away in two years, don’t worry.

it didn’t. instead, his interest and his collection grew. so for his subsequent birthdays, along with hero merch, he has vulture culture collections gifted to him.

when he moved to the dorms, they’re more packaged than his hero merch and katsuki wants to get angry because he’s been looking for those limited hero merch and yet there they are, chilling beside izuku’s many many skulls and bones.

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IZUKU STARTED COLLECTING THE ALL MIGHT HAWAIIAN SHIRTS WHEN HE WAS TWELVE

he ransacked for the very first edition, often saving his allowance just so he can buy the retro versions of the all might hawaiian shirts. sometimes he’d barter, but that’s only when he’s really desperate for the shirts. usually he’d just be in an auction site and buy just those.

he’d take katsuki with him and katsuki is very careful in what to buy, often researching the things and having a very long pros and cons list to narrow down what he’d buy, then his best bud izuku just out there buying all might hawaiian shirts.

funniest thing too is that those are the first to go because they? don’t value much? and they’re ugly, tbh, and yet izuku’s slurping them all up.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

the first time class 1a were talking about plushies, izuku dropped the names and they’re confused because-

“bro did you name your plushies with lovecraft names?” OR “bro? do you perhaps have personalized lovecraft toys?”

it’s the earlier one but izuku would want to buy personalized lovecraft monster toys.

ok but? he names them as per the appropriate lovecraft characters? like:

a purple octopus plushie is called azathoth.

a green gecko plushie is called bokrug.

a fish plushie (literally nemo) is called dagon instead of nemo.

a pink jellyfish plushie is mother of pus.

he has other plushies that have normal names (well, as normal as naming a plushie “cheese grater”), but he has a collection of specific plushies that align with lovecraft beings.

he writes all might x reader fanfictions, i’m sorry ;v;

he only writes them because he doesn’t want other heroes with all might, but also the reader pairing gets more views than all might with other heroes.

katsuki caught him writing a slowburn, enemies to lovers all might x reader fanfic and proceeded to proofread it for him.

synopsis of the fanfiction: reader is a villain with a sound quirk (tailored to present mic’s quirk) and all might met them in a hero gala where the reader pretended to be a worker so that they could infiltrate the gala’s holder’s office for a specific banking access that is linked to the world’s bank. all might manages to sniff them out and proceeds to fight them, but when a beam is about to hit the reader, all might swoops in and saves them. cue the reader developing unwanted feelings for their greatest foe, all might.

aND THEN!!! all might knows the reader outside of their villain persona and is actually very much taken by them. so it’s a painful surprise that the reader is a villain. but he is willing to save them.

it is still incomplete despite having 102 chapters. by chapter 78, katsuki asked for payment because shit was too long and too angsty.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

HEISOSL IZUKU HAS A WORM ON A STRING DOOR CURTAIN

he genuinely likes them but creating the door curtain kind of extinguished that interest because that’s just too much worms and too much strings for a single curtain, and it was very much tiring.

he has a tiny one stitched on his blazer and inko heaved this really big sigh when she saw that her son’s crisp UA uniform got a worm by the chest pocket.

aizawa eyed it once and was so close to expelling izuku just because of that.

shouto, when they became friends, sends a box of them to izuku because he thought that those are izuku’s favourite. katsuki had not stopped cackling when he saw the huge box of them.

to punish katsuki, he made a furby with worm hair and left it by katsuki’s door. katsuki’s scream woke everyone up.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

the moment he walked out with a plague mask, tokoyami was exiting his dorm room too and they made a long eye contact.

tokoyami does not know if he is amazed by izuku’s plague mask or he is terrified because why does it look authentic.

for halloween, he was a plague doctor.

he stowed them away after saving eri.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

his first women hero cosplay was in third grade when they had a play about different heroes. the girl who was playing ragdoll got sick and everyone’s already strapped in as their hero and unwilling to change. izuku, himself, is present mic (katsuki’s all might).

the girls don’t want to give up their heroes and izuku, the bestest boy, goes and says he will become ragdoll.

their teacher agrees and helps him strap in as ragdoll and you know what, izuku loves it.

from then on, he tries to cosplay as much women heroes that he can afford. inko loves helping him and katsuki thinks he is adorable but! dont tell deku!!!

OK BUT he wore the dress that broke the internet once and katsuki almost exploded the dress off him. almost because izuku dodged and warned him that if he ever breaks that dress, katsuki will have to pay (either monetary or revenge, katsuki doesn’t know so he behaved).

FOR HALLOWEEN, HE WORE THIS AND KATSUKI HATES IT

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

izuku painting star freckles on his face!!!! or heart freckles!!!! or flowers!!!!

izuku in fairy makeup, pleaseee!

he also loves giving katsuki his own freckles because something about blonde hair and red eyes with pale cheeks kissed by freckles is making izuku gay panic.

izuku putting concealer on his own freckles once and his classmates are looking at him weirdly, wondering why he looks off?

like he still looks amazing, but something’s missing. it’s fucking them up and katsuki isn’t helping them so they’re trying to piece what’s up.

it takes monoma sneering at izuku and asking where his eight freckles are that 1a realizes why he looks different.

ok but denki asking monoma why he knows how much freckles izuku has and monoma spluttering, bright red and embarrassed, until he just walks away.

(answer: he’s crushing on green bean).

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

IZUKU HAVING A COLLECTION OF LIKE ARCHAIC? BREWING? STUFF? BOOKS.

i dont know how to explain it but my friend has this specific book about poisons, detailing recipes and ingredients.

it also talks about the use of frogs, lizards, snakes. the benefits of different flowers (ones with toxins) and how to use them during tea time.

it’s bizarre but the book looks pretty so i think izuku would have a handful of those in his room.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

izuku eating grass? flowers? trying dandelions and complaining that it’s furry

izuku wandering what a twig tastes like so he just sucks on it like a lollipop.

inko gave up on stopping him because her son would just eat anything but his broccolis, and she’s very much tired of thinking if izuku would have an upset stomach. he never had.

first time mitsuki saw izuku do that, she forced him to drink cola and eat candy to cleanse his palette.

katsuki goads him on eating more.

izuku’s favourite is chewing on maple leaves. he’s just a weird boy.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

OK BUT THE FINAL ONE ABOUT HIS ALL MIGHT POSTERS?? I HAVENT STOPPED LAUGHINGF

izuku wanting more all might figurines than posters. he only has some chemistry stuff (periodic table) on his wall, a little tapestry that matches inko’s, a canvas of monet’s water lilies (again, matching inko), and some cosmic facts that he bought online.

and yk katsuki sees those and thinks that it’s so weird that izuku has those posters but not all might?

his first thought was, “he doesn’t like all might as much as i do.”

the following one is, “he’s straight so he doesn’t want a guy’s face on his wall.”

katsuki’s mouth so happens to say the second one and the next week he visited izuku’s room again, each surface of the wall that is not taken by pinned insects and his frog-book stuff, plus his other existing non-hero posters, is covered in just all might posters.

he belatedly realizes that his own face is also on izuku’s wall, but that’s for later musings because for now he’s jealous that izuku managed to scourge the limited all might posters, but also is disgusted a bit because that’s too much all might.

katsuki walks out before his interest in all might plummets.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

ps to my beloved: ﹤୨♡୧﹥

GOBLIN I LOVE YOUR AUS ALL THE TIME AND IM SORRY FOR RESPONDING SO LATE! YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME SMILE AND I LOVE U!!!! you’re genuinely so precious pls dont stop your ramblings!!!!

[hunters-souls]

I've had a pretty "atypical" experience on T (5+ years) and only seen maybe 2 or 3 people go through similar experiences...

I started at 21, I am 27 now. My levels are fine.

What I expected;

Everything they tell you is gna happen lol, body hair, greasiness level, voice breaking. I thought I'd probably have a decent coverage of facial and body hair at about 2-3 years, because I have mediterranean heritage.

What actually happened;

Voice drop twice, first to comfortably male levels at around 8 months, then again about 2 years later after some voice training.

Nearly zero body hair. Maybe my arms and legs got slightly hairier, but I have no hair on my stomach, back, shoulders, really none. At 4 years (post top), 3 weeks of no shaving gives a grey dustiness on my upper lip and chin. That is literally it.

My face changed very little.

Fat redistributon negligible, but I've always been quite slim. I still have a very defined waist and a bit of fat around the hips and a fat ass. Fortunately my biker thighs just make the ass look like it's the product of working out. Packing on muscle is a lot easier, but I'm by no means ripped, just regular, and clothes fit me better in the shoulders.

Went from Uberserious sigma hikikomoricel to that guy at the office that says "Did you see that ludicrous display last night?". Pre T me would have absolutely fucking hated present me. Not sure if T, or age, or a cycle of both, but I talk to everyone now and I'm a lot goofier. Still really socially anxious but I let go of OCD spirals a lot quicker than I used to.

I also wake up full of energy. I don't drink coffee, because I'm usually far too awake and don't need the help. Before T I was a permaexhausted slug who slept 12 hours a night.

I still cry lmfao. Not that often and not when I want to but on the scale of crier to drywall puncher I was definitely always on the latter end.

My tolerance of alc and caf went way down lmfao increase who

I'm not sweaty but body odour definitely smells stronger. I stopped tolerating red meat the summer I started T as well.

I was always pretty actively attracted to people but I always laughed at simps pre T. I was simply above all that, as an educated professional with several highbrow hobbies and interests. Well,,, I'm not condoning thirsty behaviour but let's just say I have been violently humbled in the last few years. I will see 1 attractive man and I become like a special kind of stupid I've only ever seen guys be all of a sudden. It never happened for women - I kept expecting it to.

I also got more comfortable both with more "masculine" hobbies (guns, weightlifting, my motorcycle, my taste in music got way heavier but that might be age) and makeup/dressing nice. Still don't like dresses and skirts and pink, because I never will, but I have long hair now and probably look more feminine visually than I did when I started. LMAO

My life's not really about gender any more, but honestly the first 3-4 years were difficult. I guess I thought that since I was changing my gender, I could change other aspects of myself that i was finding annoying or inconvenient. There are things that are much more inherent to one's personality than gender, and I've definitely not ended up looking or being at all like what I thought I'd be...I became much more myself.

someone should get a load of people on testosterone to collectively write a "what I expected / what actually happened" re: various effects of T, i think it would be interesting

[lowkeyclueless5137]

Cuz I lost EBG

And still I don't want to tarnish the program ;-; cuz me is a lazyass....

I present to you! Chibis!

Again, the SD picrew said 'suffer <3' so I went in manually (again)

Mammon the magicless student au chibs!

I am really asking for the OM fandom to cut my head, don't I? Nonetheless... I have small sheets for them so I'll share them along my thoughts on each one of them regarding the process of changing... (+mishaps)

Small note!

My process of making chibis is to make them in the picrew and then go in and draw over them... It takes a bit and this ones were before the RSA uniform update...

So let's start this!

He was surprisingly easy to make... Actually, if I'm honest, the only things I did to this bby is to add him a smol fang, accentuate the eye color(at all of them I did it) and also give a bit more color to the bandage...

His coffin icon was more of a thinking process... I wanted to portray the Mammon that heis in here ✨magicless✨... I won't elaborate in here though :)

Another easy one... although for the eyes I literally picked from the og SD the color... the actual difference is the gloves... It took a bit to center the finger line (and pick the color), but he was actually a relaxing process...

Still a bit salty about the fact that I couldn't move the suit mark... But after a bit I said fuck it and moved on... I even found a valid motive for it so it's too late now... (I completely forgot then that I could redraw it)

*inhales* he had pink hair before... I'm serious... HOT PINK HAIR

So I turned it to orange through my pallete picking and the whole tracing and recoloring... Then I showed my friend @kurokiesimping and they said that the eyes are too big... so I looked and realized that the eyes changed shape so I just screamed into the void cuz I already did the hair and I didn't want to re-center and recolor them completely... so I tried to cut them 🙃

But if it wasn't for them, Beel would be less accurate(not that he is entirely) than now... So a big thanks to them!

HE LITERALLY HAD NOTHING TO CHANGE

Except accentuating the eye color and making longer gloves... but it's like... bearly a change... they were last minute cuz ye...

The coffin icon was more of a challenge color wise... I still don't know if I got it right...

He really said he has to be perfect on the first try huh?

THIS MF

He was blonde at first... then I said to torture myself... the og SD hair color looked bad on the chibi so it took me 30 DAMN MINUTES to just pick the main color.

But I'm the proudest about Asmo... he looks really nice and just dramatic... Which considering my trash art skills... ye...

Just... just look at this pretty boi!

Haha.... crappy hair shape go brrrr

Levi... dear, baby, precious Otaku....

WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE THAT HELMET HAIR?!

Like... I initially wanted him to have like some spaghetti like hair... but the picrew didn't have that option (note it down pls: curly hair and afro options) So I said fuck it again and decided to go with the steel helmet...

Then I realized that the purple wasn't beating with the cannon... :/ you know where this is going...

I accidentally deleted the main color layer and blew a whole casket cuz it didn't save... (courtesy of my lil sis)

THIS MF(2)

He looks crappy... but I legit stood a whole day over this one...

The hair, the colors, the shades... Belphegor gave me a FIELD TRIP...

Ye there so much to elaborate over this and lament... but it's here... there could be room for improvement, but I do not want to go and do it over again... ;-;

This is all!

I hope you enjoy them...

And I hope I was accurate enough...

Again a big thanks to my friend for helping me out with Beel! ✨

Until next time! Bye!