#also i keep my chat off so if she was mad at me during the game . . i will never know..........

[immren]

im still laughing over the overwatch game i played last night, where the enemy team had a widowmaker that was destroying my team, so i went sombra to spawn camp her (sorry but ihate snipers with a burning passion) and my team ended up winning

she sent me a friend request after the game ended so i knew she really wanted to call me every slur imaginable. how i know that?

the level 1 endorsement and the assassin title LMFAO

[hyuckswoman]

mark being jealous

« Remind me where you’re going again? » your boyfriend says. you were trying your best to contain your irritation as you probably told him like fifteen times already. 

« Mark, you know where I’m going, why do you keep asking me? » you answer getting up from the couch where you guys were sitting watching a movie as you needed to get ready

« just to make sure that you were really going to your high school reunion where the guy you spent your whole high school years being in love with is also there, only handsomer and richer and also just really into you. » your boyfriend says as you sigh. 

Yes, your unrequited high school crush was going to be there, yes, he had a glow up, yes he asked you out not long ago so he is into you. But all of that did not matter, you were sure Mark was the absolute love of your life. It frustrated you that he did not understand that whether your old crush was there or not did not matter. you were only going there in hopes to rekindle friendships that you’re grown out of during the past few years 

« look, instead of spending your whole evening overthinking what I could possibly be doing there just come with me? I’ve already offered you to come, hell mark I want you to come! I don’t understand why you refuse to tag along but complain about god knows what I might be doing with some random guy I haven’t thought of in years » you say. you probably asked him ten times already over the past two days if he wanted to come but he kept on saying no for some reason

« I don’t wanna be the only guy not from your high school there, I don’t want to feel like the odd one out. » your boyfriend says, is that why he didn’t want to come?? 

« Mark, literally everybody that’s in a relationship is bringing their partner, which I thought I’d do too because I also want to show you off, like yea that’s my man not yours stay mad you know? » you reply as you hear your boyfriend sigh out of relief « no go get ready I don’t want to be late, I’ll tell you all you need to know about everyone on the way. » you say as mark heads upstairs to get ready whilst cheering because you guys were going to be gossiping 

« oh my god y/nnnnnn it’s been a while how are you?? you look so good oh my god definitely had a glow up there » of course. it was typical of meghan (don’t ask just coming up with random names) to give you passive aggressive comments like those, you quickly look at your boyfriend who just gives you a weird look in return « meghan, yea it’s been a while are you still with that one boyfriend of yours or was he also not the one? » you ask. good thing you had grown a backbone throughout the years. it was kind of funny seeing the confusion leave your boyfriend’s face after you said her name, you had mentioned meghan during the debrief and how she wasn’t always the nicest.

« hi y/n, hi Mark it’s great to see you guys, y/n you look as good as I had remembered, Mark I like your shoes. » your old crush, jack (again, random names sorry) says 

« oh thanks, Mark helped me get ready that’s why I look extra good, it’s cause he made this outfit with love. » you say in a lighthearted tone. you wanted jack to understand his place as well as give Mark reassurance but you wanted to do that without animosity. I mean you guys just got there. 

as you were getting up to refill your cup you looked at Mark smiling at how he was getting along with some people you only recall positive memories of. it was nice seeing your boyfriend mix with the people that represent your childhood. it makes it feel like he’s always been there, and it’s always been Mark and you against the world. 

« you look happy » you hear a voice say, as you turn around you see jack (you presumed he also went to refill his cup) 

« M am. so much » you reply smiling to yourself knowing damn well that the man who’s currently chatting with your past is the reason for this happiness 

« I’m sorry by the way, if I made you feel uneasy, I swear that when I asked you out I didn’t know you were in a relationship. Had I known, I would’ve never asked, I’m not like that you know » he says, you can see him fidgeting awaiting your response 

« Honestly it’s no biggie, when I turned you down you were really respectful about it, there’s nothing to blame your behaviour was impeccable, I mean it » you say as you hear him sigh out of relief 

« what do you want to drink? I assume you were heading here to fill your cup «  he says reaching his hand out for you to give him your cup 

« honestly, whatever you’re drinking is fine » you say as you’re handing out your cup 

« what have you been to? we haven’t talked in ages » you say trying to make conversation (plus you were genuinely curious as to what he’s been up to) 

« I went to law school and graduated early so I’m actually a full-time lawyer at Kirkland & Ellis, it’s been… stressful but fun so far » he answers 

« holy shit Kirkland & Ellis?? did you graduate from Harvard?? how the fuck did you get in such a big firm » you ask, this was no small achievement 

« Stanford, actually yea I couldn’t believe it either when I got the acceptance letter » he says, you could see him get shy at the praises you were throwing at him 

« woah Stanford okay my bad.. righttt I remember now you graduated high school early, oh my god remember when ryan got so mad at you because his girlfriend was really into you so he poured dirty mop water all over you?? that was crazy » you say laughing. you still remember it as if it happened yesterday, it was THE drama of the whole year, people were gossiping non-stop

« dude don’t remind me I had to ride the bus and I stank so bad.. the smell was foul and when I came home my mom yelled at me so much I wanted to die of embarrassment » he says as you guys are both laughing slowly heading back to the group of people (and your man, of course)

You were all smiles and giggles being happy that the situation with jack was sorted out, and you were excited to reassure Mark that he had nothing to worry about because jack was a good man who won’t ever cross your boundaries. That excitement was cut short when you sat back down next to Mark who seemed… off? he wasn’t smiling. And honestly, it looked as if he was pissed but he couldn’t be because there was no reason to…right? 

« Mark, jack graduated from Stanford can you believe it?? he even works at like the biggest law firm ever, isn’t it cool? » you say hoping to ease the tension

« yea. that’s cool. congrats » Mark says as jack looks at you and you look back apologetically, why was he acting like that?

« Hey, is something wrong? Did I piss you off or something» you whisper in your boyfriend’s ear

« no. we’re fine. I’m fine » Mark says not even looking at you. Oh. You definitely pissed him off. you decided to sit back and shut up, you didn’t want to piss him off more. what the fuck did you do to piss him off in the first place though? 

A couple of hours later, you decided it was time to leave, even though you were having fun Mark wasn’t and you didn’t want him to stay like this. you also hoped you could talk to him if you guys were alone because you still couldn’t figure out why he had been acting so cold with you. if you were completely honest it hurt your feelings and also kind of humiliated you having your boyfriend act like this in front of so many people (that you hadn’t seen in a long time too) when you were gushing about him the whole evening 

You guys were on the highway when you decided to break the silence « Alright Mark, what’s up with you? What did I do » you ask facing him 

« I don’t know why don’t you ask jack? » your boyfriend says 

« huh? What is that supposed to mean? » you say

« I don’t know, I think I might be referring to you laughing your ass off with him in the kitchen or to his fingers lingering on yours for too long as you were handing your cup or even to the ‘Mark jack is so much smarter and richer and he’s so impressive woah’ but I might not be referring to that at all too, who knows man, maybe jack? » 

« first of all, don’t talk to me as if I’m stupid. Second of all, just so you know we were talking about how happy you make me and he apologized for asking me out when I’m in a relationship. but you obviously couldn’t know because you preferred to act like a dick towards me basically showing everyone how unhappy you were to not only be here but be with me, but yea you’re right maybe I’ll ask jack » you say turning your back to him facing the window. 

you couldn’t believe him. Sure, he was allowed to feel jealous but acting like an ass even though you’ve done nothing to anger him? you were upset at how he treated you 

«  fuck, you should’ve told me earlier now jack is going to think I’m the biggest asshole ever, I went up to him before he left and basically told him to fuck off » you hear your boyfriend say. Man, he was worried about jack right now??? no fucking way 

« right because it makes so much sense to be worried about what a man, that you won’t ever see again by the way, might think of you. » you say hoping the sarcasm is enough to make him realize how stupidly he’s acting right now 

« I’m sorry » he answers to which you only reply ok, he was pissing you off 

as you guys were coming in the house, Mark decided to break the silence again « I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to project whatever I was feeling onto you » he says 

« I understand Mark. The issue doesn’t lie in the fact that you were jealous it’s because of the tone you take whenever you explain to me whatever I did to piss you off. I’m not a child, I’m also not stupid. We’re both grown adults and you have to respect me a little more because hearing your condescending tone pisses me off. I really don’t care if you’re jealous, that’s a boundary I’ll have to respect in the future because I don’t want to make you uncomfortable but our relationship will only work if you put in efforts as well. except of course, if you don’t want it to work » you say. 

During the rest of the car trip you had calmed down. you thought about the whole thing and decided to just explain your feelings because even though it kinda was a recurring argument, you reminded yourself that despite how perfect he is, Mark is a man, and he forgets. 

« I know and I’m sorry. I know I say this every time but I really mean it, I promise I’ll work on my issues with jealousy because man, it gets so bad, like tonight, you weren’t doing anything and I got pissed. so I’m sorry. And I’ll watch my tone. I know I have an issue with communicating my feelings when I’m mad and so I use that tone for it to hurt less but you don’t deserve this. And it’s a personal issue I need to fix instead of putting it onto you. I’m really sorry. I understand if you want me to sleep on the couch for tonight » you boyfriend says apologetically. 

You had planned to stay mad at him for like an extra two hours but how could you with this?? It was kind of annoying how he could persuade you so easily. You basically didn’t have any choice but to forgive him right now. It sucked to be in a relationship with a good man. 

« Mark I forgive you, it’s really no big deal just watch your tone. Also don’t think I’ll forget tho, when this happens again I’ll beat you up » you say warning him. Yes, you were forgiving him this time but you meant it when you’ll say you’ll beat him up if it happens again, because, it’s kinda crazy the audacity this man has. 

« it won’t happen again though, I swear I’ll really work on myself. Soooooo… no couch for me tonight? » your boyfriend asks you while coming closer 

« no couch for you tonight. » you answer whilst being engulfed in a hug coming from said man. 

Maybe forgiving him was extra easy because you like him so much. Either way, it felt good to be okay with the love of your life. 

[cherrydipp]

heres me rambling all my notes from today / what i remembered

act 1 :

- chettrip is real. at bucks party they were in the room together they were getting FREAKY.

- during that number when the cop interrogates cherry and paul at the top, it seemed like cherry and paul were fighting and paul like told her to stop talking

- melodys mic was UP in far away from tulsa

- during ggah soda was WHIPPING everyone with the towel IT WAS SO FUNNY

- also during fatdi when the girls sing “aint no better than time than” or their little sequence, trip jumped onto the tire and did like “a girly dance” to mock them heheh it was SO FUNNY

- ace still smacked sodas butt

- during fatdi marcia and trip were ALLL over each other. marcia gave him a hug from behind and didnt let go it was so cute

- chet and paul were chatting it up during fatdi

- bob seemed relatively happy during fatdi up until the end

- bob stumbled a lot more very drunk, so did trip they were good at playing drunk.

- when dally got splashed, trip mocked him and dallas PUSHED him to the ground and HELPP it was like paul yelled at trip to go in time out he yanked him up like a cat and pointed to the car HEHEHE

- COLE TRIP IS SOOO FUNNY

- when the “aint that right ace” ace replied like more sultry?? i dont want to say seductive but idk any other word. it was more serious than when tilly does it

- i LOVE aramie dallas he plays him like a teenager

- emma was more angry today than sad which i liked. when she said “i said BEAT IT.” she MEANT IT. she was angry af

- BOB DID THE MOCKING THING YASSSS YASSSS it was so epic to hear live

- yall know my fave dance move���. (when that clock strikes three) I WATCHED CHERRY DO IT SO GOOD OOOOUUU YALL KNOW I LOVE THAT

- paul and bev were very chummy like very close

- after soda got the papers thrown at him he saw johnny jump and assured him it was just paper while smiling ☹️☹️

- CHERRYCOLA IS REAL. THEY WERE SMILING AT EACH OTHER AT THE END OF THE OPENING NUMBER LIKE FULL ON SMILING AND ADMIRING EACH OTHER.

- also when the line “NO SHIT!!” happens he didnt say it how he normally does he was more like “no… shit 😳” i like to think its cuz he was flirting with cherry after opening number okay let me live

- darry said the “look at these hands” part less angry ?? maybe vocal rest ??? or he is sick??

- JORDAN IS SO FUN TO WATCH DANCE I CANT TAKE MY EYES OFF HIM

- this made me lol when dallas is like “twobit u got ur grease?” he went “no 😏” LIKE DEAD PANNED IT WAS SO FUNNY

- when i saw melvin carrying that plank i got so happy……

- chettrip kept giggling with each other guys theyre reallll they are reeeealllll they were bumping into each other like cray cray

- aramie looked so cool in buck merril red lighting door like it was sick he has so much aura its insane. i love u aramie

- emma pittman was on time YES QUEEN YESSSS 💗💗💗💗💗💗 she looks so beautiful on stage u guys

- these girls in front of me just got told off by this british lady HELPPP THIS SCHOOL KEEPS TALKING IT WAS SO FUNNY SHES SO AMAZING THAT BRITISH LADY I LOVE U THEY BETTER STFU NOW OMFG SYBAU SYBAU…….

- the opening number i almost cried its so good. like oh god its so satisfying to watch its the best number i think to watch.

- not much marbit content tbh idgaf i got martrip thats all that matters to me

- HELP ME YHESE GIRLS R MOVING HAHAHAHAHAH IM CRYINGGGG HELP ME YES GET CLOCKED GET CLOKCKED “is it that big of a problem” YES. U WOULDNT SHUT UP DURING ANYTHING OMG.

- marcia had her legs wrapped about trip during fatdi concessiong stand oh i guess thats icttyal not fatdi

- cam brill flipped off the greasers

act 2 :

- jft the interrogation part. paul like elbowed cherry and she back away, she didnt make eye contact ONCE with the cop or paul. paul was mad

- trip had the DIRTIEST GLARE EVER AT CHERRY STOPPP thats ur bff leave her alone omfg.

- cam brill was so AGGRESSIVE trying to snatch bobs jacket from cherry. she full on like stumbled backward. trip jumped in her face and she flinched.

- cherry opt up you guys. it was so fricken heavenly. she also added an extra riff oh my LORD IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL I SHOOK. paul was very angry

- paul didnt step on twobit today, he kneeled on his chest instead.

- the darry and dally fight was different than normal. instead of dally overpowering darry, darry pushed him ontop of the car and didn’t let up until sodapop pulled him down. that’s when he fell to the ground.

- cherry’s legs shook during jft like she was uneasy on her feet, clearly nervous.

- melvin dipp during the fire again dont play

- jordan jumping on darrys back at the end of hoods turned heroes HELP it was so silly hes so tall and lanky on top of him i tried not to giggle.

- oh i forgot to mention they changed the ace and twobit choreo during the drive in obviously because daryl cant lift someone way taller than him like that.

- during jft bev had her head on brills shoulder while he just held her.

- martrip wouldnt let go of each other and when marcia had to to comfort cherry, she gently plucked him off.

- melvin HELP melvin ran a little to keep up with sergei when they walked out in trouble.

- trip went over and massaged melvins shoulders. i wish they kept it how it used to be with sean jones where he points to ace, but i guess it made sense for this show (idk if they always do this) cuz aint no way in HELL trip would point to the boy whos 103748291 feet taller than melvin

- WATCHING MELVIN FIGHT JORDAN ACE WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY DTTM.

- either bob or trip (pretty sure it was bob cuz the socs were saying bob) like was practically in the audience. and their voices were so heartbreaking as they pulled him in it was a direct parallel of pony pulling johnny.

- oh goodness me pony’s voice when johnny went silent broke me. dont even. stroblboy is a amazing im sorry for ever doubting you

- ARAMIE IS THE DALLAS. he is my dallas i preferred him sooo much over josh boones dallas.

- he plays dallas much younger and looks younger like he was shorter than darry and all.

- his mic was messed up for the beginning of little brother but he still sounded phenomenal.

- genuinely his dallas portrayal is heartbreaking and he sounds so beautiful oh my goodness.

- during little brother i love watching the socs and greasers at the bottom and oh goodness cherry moved with like such pain you didn’t need to see her face to know it. i like to imagine the closer they are to the front is the more guilty they felt for johnny’s death so cherry being in the front had me drop a tear bruh.

- hoods turned hero the projection was lowkey cut off cuz COLE. IS TOO SHORT AND SO IS MELVIN BRUH. stupid dipp brothers.

- hopeless war had a few added riffs i believe. emma pittman is so amazing

- okay so during the scene where cherry gives pony johnny’s clothes, when she first entered here’s what i noticed. last time i saw it, sodapop was so much more hesitant to let her in, he was like “no you can’t—“ and walked over but this time he was so much more wrecked. like he and darrel both just replied with a soft “hi.” when she left his eyes followed her the entire time.

- darry’s voice when he said “we love you.” had me in SHAMBLES.

- when ponyboy saw johnny in the rumble oh sweet neptune.

- trip is directly in front during the rumble he looked so angry and so did melvin. when they do the last punches when they face the audience, melvin like threw gravel and shouted “COME ON” or something like that. proving my point about him and fighting.

- HELP ME THE PPL KEPT GETTING YELLED AT TS SO FUNNY

- uh the ending number bob was so nonchalant leaning against the wood plank smh.

thanks emma pittman for introducing me to cherry and paul siblings. also this is all my opinions. i hope u wnjoy the tidbit about the british lady

[darkenedroses-world]

Protective Mode — Smii7y x Reader

f!reader, angst, protective Smii7y, found family, social media drama, request🦋

It started out so harmless.

The guys were in full chaos mode during a stream, their voices overlapping as they bantered back and forth. The noise spilled into the kitchen where you were humming to yourself, finishing up a fresh batch of cookies. “Yo, Smii7y,” Grizzy’s voice cut through, loud and teasing. “Is that you getting fed again? I swear I hear plates and shit clinking.” “Oh, it’s definitely Y/N,” Droid added, laughing. “Bro, you’re actually spoiled. Does she, like, just live in the kitchen for you?” Puffer chimed in next, snickering. “Nah, Y/N’s the real MVP. If I lived with Smii7y, I’d let that man starve.” “Fuck off,” Smii7y said, his voice muffled slightly by his mic, but there was a smile in his tone. “I didn’t ask for anything. She just does it ‘cause she’s nice.” Grizzy laughed. “I’m just saying, it’s like having a full-time mom who’s also your girlfriend. Y/N’s a saint.” You could faintly hear Smii7y huff over the sound of your oven door closing. “You guys are stupid.” The chat, of course, picked up on it instantly. Questions flooded in, waves of “WHO’S Y/N?” and “SHE COOKS FOR YOU?!!” spamming the stream. Smii7y didn’t give much more context, brushing off the teasing with his usual wit. “She’s my girlfriend, chat. Chill out.” What happened next was inevitable.

You’d been careful about keeping your life private, but it didn’t stop fans from diving deep. Within hours, they’d found your Instagram—pictures of meals, sunset views, and candid shots you’d thought nothing of. The comments started small—curious, lighthearted questions—but quickly spiraled into insults:

• “She’s not even cute. What’s Smii7y doing with her?”

• “She doesn’t deserve him.”

• “Bet she’s a clout chaser. Smii7y could do better.”

• “You’re ruining his streams. Kill yourself.”

At first, you tried to ignore it, turning off notifications and forcing yourself to scroll past the cruel words. But the messages kept coming—DMs filled with threats, accusations, and things you didn’t want to repeat aloud. A day later, Smii7y was streaming again, unaware of just how bad things had gotten. You were curled up in the corner of the couch, mindlessly scrolling your phone. The distant sound of Smii7y’s voice filtered through his mic, calm and familiar as he played. “Chat, relax, I’m focusing,” he said, chuckling softly. “I’m trying to win here.” Then, the silence stretched too long. “…What the fuck did you just say?” His voice was low, sharp, and cold. Your head shot up. Smii7y rarely sounded like that—something was wrong. “What’s wrong?” you asked, sitting up straight, but he didn’t answer right away. “Chat,” he growled, the bite in his voice making you shiver, “which one of you thought it’d be a good idea to talk shit about my girlfriend? Huh? You think I wouldn’t see it?” You froze, heart pounding as he continued. “Don’t you dare bring her into this bullshit,” he snapped, his tone getting louder. “You wanna talk shit about me? Go ahead—I don’t care. But leave her the fuck out of it.” The chat flooded with messages—some confused, others panicking—but Smii7y wasn’t done. “She doesn’t deserve this. She’s done nothing but be kind and patient with me and with life in general. And what do you do? You harass her? You send her death threats because I mentioned her name? Are you out of your fucking minds?”

You swallowed hard, eyes stinging as you watched him defend you so fiercely. Puffer’s voice suddenly cut through Discord, alarmed. “Wait, hold up—what’s going on?” “People are being assholes to Y/N,” Smii7y snapped, his tone still fiery. Puffer let out a disbelieving laugh. “No fucking way. Over what? Being a decent human?” Grizzy’s mic clicked on next, his voice dead serious. “That’s fucking wild. Y’all really mad at her because she cooks and cares about people? You need help.” “She made me the best ribs of my life,” Droid added, clearly pissed. “Y’all couldn’t even dream of someone being that nice to you.” “Exactly,” Smii7y said, his voice rising. “She doesn’t owe you anything. She’s not a streamer; she’s not part of this world. She’s just living her fucking life—and now she has to deal with this?” You buried your face in your hands, overwhelmed by the intensity of his words. “You wanna harass her? Fine,” Smii7y spat. “But just know you’ll never see my face in your chat again. You’re not a fan if this is how you act.” Puffer chimed in again, softer this time. “Seriously, y’all need to chill. She’s, like, the nicest person I’ve ever met. You’re ruining it for everyone.” Grizzy groaned. “For real. Grow up, man.” After the stream ended, Smii7y turned his chair and stood, crossing the room to pull you into his arms. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, holding you close. “I didn’t think they’d take it this far.” You clung to him, tears slipping down your cheeks. “It’s not your fault. But… thank you. For standing up for me.”

He pulled back just enough to meet your eyes, his expression softening. “You’re my everything. I’m not letting anyone treat you like shit. Ever.” You managed a weak smile, your voice breaking. “I love you.” Smii7y kissed your forehead, his hold tightening protectively. “I love you, too. And don’t worry—next time, they won’t get off so easy.”

[beelanddiavolosimp-blog]

Since I'm always being freaky all the time I'll share cute/funny headcanons of my MC with the brothers!

My MC headcanons (fluff/crack)

Lucifer

Because Lucifer is the head honcho around the house my MC whenever making the other brothers mad will purposely run to Lucifer and hide behind him giving him the puppy dog eyes for him to scold the brothers all while smirking at them behind him. She lets him braid her hair since he is surprisingly good at it and very gentle which is what my MC loves the most since she has a sensitive scalp. Asmos gets jealous but he is deemed too rough by my MC to braid her hair.

Mammon

Mammon and my MC are awful together. They feed into the stupidest ideas imaginable. They played hide and seek to the max and Mammon ended up getting stuck in a cupboard for hours while my MC had a panic attack due to not finding him. Since my MC is heavily afraid of driving whenever Mammon swerves his car slightly she about mauls him.

Levi

Due to My MC having anger issues when she loses a game to Levi and he gloats about it, it usually leads to him screaming for help from his bedroom due to her basically tackling him. They both feed into each other's favorite animes a bit too much having shelves upon shelves of anime figurines or merch bought from each other for each other.

Satan

My MC doesn't usually have time to read books as often and usually reads on her phone. Satan doesn't like this because he feels normal books are better so whenever he sees her reading and he asks what it is she purposely says smut to get him away from her 😭. My MC absolutely adores cats and so Lucifer has a major headache seeing my MC and Satan holding 30 cats hostage in Satan's room together.

Asmos

Asmos and my MC are the worst to shop with. They feed into each other bad. One will ask about a product and the other will just tell them to buy it. Bags upon bags are brought to the house of lamentation whenever they shop together. They do their skincare regimen together sometimes or their makeup routine and just have cute chats as they do.

Beel

Beel loves my MC because she tries so so hard to cook for him. She doesn't know of much cooking yet but will follow a recipe very well. She is amazing at baking but usually for some reason gets inspiration late at night so the brothers always find beel eating away at sweets as my MC is continuously baking for him. My MC when scared will go over to beel and hold his shirt or completely hide behind him because she feels he is her safe space. Beel absolutely adores when she does this .

Belphie

My MC has a LOT of blankets and stuffed animals on her bed so usually if you can't find belphie he is in her bed whether she's in it or not. He also often steals her blankets. "BELPHIE I SWEAR TO GOD GIVE ME BACK MY PINK HELLO KITTY BLANKET!" My MC shouts rushing to the attic angrily. They often fall asleep on each other subconsciously whether it's on the couch, on the desk during class, at the dinner table, etc. They are huge cuddly buddies and my MC doesn't get severely hot when cuddling with him so she prefers him over some brothers but she doesn't say it to keep their feelings safe. The brothers flip belphie off when they see his smug face holding my MC closer when they cuddle.

[sacred-coffin]

Rubbing my grubby little hands together. It's time to bipolar Terzo.

And, one thing for the record, I'm bipolar! So I know what I'm talking about and I'm projecting a little and that's valid

I tried to rewrite my bullet points from my google doc to sound... nicer and more professional, but it didn't feel right. So y'all are getting the raw unfiltered version from when I infodumped about this in a discord chat, hope you like it :)

ONE . He has big overarching aspirations, but also mad depressive episodes. These get in the way of him completing his goals and also make things fuzzy along the way.

He's got this big city, big social change, all of these huge goals and life paths he wants to follow. And there are times where he's really set and driven on working on it! Especially when people are egging him on, like when he was a cardinal. I imagine he had a lot of sustained manic or hypomanic episodes while he was a cardinal.

Being very dead set on a goal, possibly losing sleep over it, putting all of your time and effort on it...Also however you want to interpret the cream pies comment (sexual or food) it both lines up with something a manic person would do. SO.

I think once he's in the ministry again / papa his depressive episodes started getting harder & his manic episodes more. Erratic.

He had less people pushing & supporting him towards his goals / what he was really passionate about, so he was just . Really bitter and pulled away from people. You see a lot more of his irritable and generally temperamental side come out during this time bc like. When he has manic episodes he has so much energy to use up but nowhere for it to go! Sometimes being really angry with something can trigger a manic episode, and I think he might be prone to doing things really excessive/extreme all of a sudden to spite people. If that makes sense. Like the decision to ditch the papa robes, things like that.

Also iirc, when he was a cardinal he was really over indulgent. That is very common for manic episodes; it's very common to  develop substance abuse issues as well. I think he could be a borderline alcoholic, but he's pretty good at hiding it. Definitely better at hiding it than when he was younger, but the habit is worse when he's older

I kinda wanna talk about Terzo possibly being like, a pretty angry person. And this is definitely projection LMAO. He very much presents himself as a guy who probably doesn't have angry outbursts and such, but I think that. Well. If he's bipolar that is NOT true ok. When I thought about this the first time I was like "would he punch walls? No. His mom raised him better than that. But God does he want to break stuff"

I feel like part of his reclusiveness is to keep up this image he has to everyone-- you can't judge him or form an opinion of him in his off time if you don't see it. So you don't see him getting drunk, you don't see him being depressed, you don't see him getting mad, but god it is happening all the time

I just feel like, like, you could argue he has this sudden shift in personality at a certain point. Or maybe at multiple points. In regards to how he felt about his goals at least. Esp bc I resonate so hard with the thought that he didn't want to be the machine-man (from Metropolis, 1927), but he had to, and I feel like being bipolar explains that so so well. Facing adversity he'd get so pissed about it, but he would only let that stop him for a little bit. But he'd also wouldn't be able to make the kind of progress he did before (like drawing up blueprints or plans) because he doesn't have that same well of outside energy & support to tap into

God also. He is so delusional. He is so so so delusional.

I think being Papa ruined his mind .

No offense but like. His goals are impossible. He's chasing them so hard anyways. He's insane. Like. Like.

I don't know I can only compare this in my mind rn to my mom looking at me when I was like, 5 years old or something and telling me she was going to become an archeologist and move to Egypt. Like she was so so sure of herself that it was going to happen. Obviously it fuckin didn't,

Also also. I feel like he's not diagnosed bc I feel like it's more likely to be missed in men. Also I want to give him migraines even though it's less common in men but slightly more common with people who are bipolar and also bc it is GENUINE projection but I think the idea of Omega walking in and seeing Terzo hidden in a bundle of blankets with all the lights off like "is this a depression cocoon or a migraine cocoon" and Terzo just kinda shifts the blanket around and you see him wearing this funny as fuck eye mask. And Omega is like "migraine cocoon, got it" and just fucking leaves

Did he shave his head once and regret it? Yes. Did he get addicted to cocaine? Probably. Did he spend all of his money on model city pieces? At least twice.

I think in the end it's entirely possible he bought into everyone's ideas that maybe he is the one who should be worshiped

I feel like a lot of manic episodes & things can be so warped by the people you surround yourself with and like. Idk. Being the face of a devil worshiping cult can give a normal guy a God complex.

But a guy who's already prone to delusion and God complex??? Oh honey he's FUCKED.

[thenightfolknetwork]

Hello,

I need help. Or maybe I don’t. Maybe I need someone to tell me to stop worrying? Oh let’s be honest I have no idea what I need, that’s why I’m writing in.

See, I have a perfectly ordinary job during the week. I work in an office. It’s nice. Spreadsheets, cake on birthdays, quarterlies. It’s a boring existence but my afternoons and evenings are my own and the pay’s good. Sapio-Liminal relations are improving, but by bit. Honestly I’m just impressed my coworker got the time off when they wound up expecting in two of their three dimensional shifts.

So that’s during the week and you’d be forgiven for thinking I’m just about the most sapio a sapio can be. My liminal properties tend to activate on Friday afternoons, when I- travel.

Teleport?

Move. I move. To the same general area of a whole new plane of existence. It’s a known family trait- I’ve got a grandfather who became king of a small nation in my secondary plane, and my sister’s the apothecary for the capital city. She sells the really good potions, by the way, so if you’re in the area of Spirits and Sundries or someone gives you a radiant quest to bring ingredients to Amaranthia in the Bronze Quarter, just be polite and she’ll fix you right up.

Ah, but this isn’t about my sister’s business, it’s about me and what I do. See, this shift is so regular that I went and got myself a weekend job, just to have something to do. So if you’re sent to the Caves of Madness just north of the Foresaken Forest, be ready for the Riddle Master!

I’m in the first room of the dungeon, just after you pass the initial key puzzle. I keep my uniform in a chest in there, and there’ s a nice break room off the back. I like the work a lot! I see lots of new people and I’m always gathering riddles- there are some chat standards but I like to mix it up sometimes. They aren’t supposed to be hard, or else what’s the point of trying to conquer a dungeon? So sometimes, I admit, I give hints. There’s always the rude adventurer who attacks me first but when you take a job like this you don’t die, it’s in the fine print. I don’t like cleaning the blood off my stuff, though. Takes ages.

Anyway now that we’ve walked halfway around the block, my point.

I look very plain. Humanoid, two arms, two legs, a beard. It’s never bothered me but I am very distinctly ordinary which tends to be recognizable and last weekend I was in the village during my break and I saw a coworker. Not from this side, not from the Caves of Madness, no. It was Tina, from accounting. She was picking up a quest by the stocks.

And I realized, she might wind up at the Caves of Madness. She might make it through the puzzle door and be faced with the Riddle Master only to realize this Riddle Master is Jeff. From the office.

I don’t have hangups about my two worlds meeting- it’s hard to, when your sister pops in for Christmas still dressed for the Winterscratch Festival, or your brother’s filing out taxes for a whole kingdom over lunch. I just really like my job in the Caves, and I like to think I do it well. Our rating as a starter dungeon’s quite high, and I’m proud of that. What if my transdimensional adventurer coworkers encounter me and just- aren’t impressed? That’s not the Riddle Master, that’s Jeff. He has a rubber band launcher on his desk. His mug says ‘party naked’ with a balding chicken on it and he won’t let HR throw it away.

I don’t want to disappoint adventurers, especially not ones who work with me in my primary plane. I also don’t want to cause harm to my dungeon’s reputation. But aside from the whole ‘moving planes’ thing I am utterly dull. What do I do if my performance isn’t enough to make up for not being fantastical like Mordrath the end room boss or Reyala the sidequest kobold queen?

Is it okay to just be Jeff the Riddle Master?

Thank you for writing in, reader. Your letter serves as an excellent example of quite a common genre of letter we get through the inbox here at the Nightfolk Network and I think it might be rather illustrative for other followers.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but what you've done here is make up a scenario in your head based on the worst possible interpretations of everyone involved, and then worried yourself sick about that scenario coming to pass.

This may sound a little blunt, but please understand, I don't mean that dismissively. I only hope to offer you a little perspective, and to help you come to a more accurate understanding of the situation as it actually stands.

You enjoy your work in the dungeon, and are clearly doing a good enough job to keep your managers happy. None of your previous visitors have expressed any disappointment at your relatively mundane appearance, and it hasn't been an obstacle in the job so far.

Perhaps your co-worker will end up in your dungeon. Perhaps she'll make it to your section, and perhaps she'll recognise you. So what? I don't see any reason why she should be any more likely to be disappointed by you than any of your other visitors.

And even if she is disappointed, that doesn't have to mean anything to you. She's a co-worker, not a treasured friend whose opinion could make or break your self-esteem. You owe it to her to be a conscientious, respectful colleague. That's all. What you get up to outside of work, and whether she enjoys your efforts, is irrelevant.

You haven't let down your dungeon so far, and I see no reason to believe you will in the future. Stop borrowing trouble from the future, and concentrate on having fun and being the same old Jeff the Riddle Master you've always been. He seems plenty interesting to me.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

[pseudowho]

Hello once more, sorry for the inbox spam!!!

I wanted to give you an update on the 30 year old guy hitting on me (insane cause when he was my current age of 21, I was 12 years old, LIKE WHAAAT the heeeell). Context for memory: met him at an event I was volunteering at. He wasn’t in the volunteering event but stopped by to help, and stayed a while to chat. He got my social media and messaged me that evening. Very quickly off the bat he started flirting and taking EVERY chance he got to do so, ie when i said im more of a mountains than lakes person, he said, “it’s not gonna work then ;)” and a bunchhhh of other stuff i don’t remember. And when I told him that my “(possibly) my favorite person in the world is the only person I message consistently” he replied with, “Favorite? Damn, don’t know if I’ll get there, but I’ll try to be your second favorite.” And this was literally like a day into messaging. It was SO weird because I never thought somebody that much older would go for me AND he doesn’t even Know Me. (Even though two 33 year old men did try to pursue something with me when I was 19 years old). Like, 25 is the max age I’ll date being that I’m 21, and the brain stops developing at 25. I was strictly platonic and didn’t even flirt back/reply to those weird messages.

So the update: I think it was after your advice that I made it clear to him that I am 1. Not interested in a relationship with anyone, 2. I only feel safe around women because of past experiences with men. // So here’s where things get a bit stickier. He keeps saying that his number one value is empathy and that he learned he can trust his morals and values, and that he learned to not doubt himself. He keeps saying he wants to get close with me and see where “this connection goes” (in my head I’m thinking, what connection?). At this point, I told him my 3rd boundary: That I Am Not even Guaranteeing Friendship. I don’t trust guys, I have a very finicky social battery, and I told him that I have been left much more jaded than my naive, optimistic, overly caring 19 year old self after a string of incidents with straight guys that left me feeling confused and used (was used emotionally and also they wanted to use me physically, but I didn’t let the latter happen. These events are not even including the 33 year old guys incidents). So this 30 year old, I’ve been on and off messaging him to give him a CHANCE to be a FRIEND. Because he’s desperate and honestly I love making close friends IF they’re good people. But I noticed that whenever I mention (not trauma dump, mention), more sensitive things such as the consistent, TW, abuse and neglect I’ve faced for years, he goes radio silent for a day or few days. The only time he DOESN’T reply quickly is when it’s about sad stuff— the only other time I said anything sad was when I told him I was grieving my late kitten, and I Literally gave the gruesome, truly awful details of my 1 month old kitten passing due to leukemia (it was devastating. She was precious, amazing, resilient, kind, and wonderfully adaptive— ie her siblings would cry during socializing and she would WALK UP TO THEM AND LAY HER HEAD ON THEM. She would also go to Me instead of her Mama cat for food, as she was too weak to compete with her siblings (but she gave her BEST awesome efforts.) Despite her resilience and intelligence, she was too young and her immune system didn’t work. It’s devastating, and I’ve been processing it in healthy ways as months go on and on. She was wonderful, demonstrated kindness and she was a fighter, and she deserved a long life. Anyway, to this he responded with “😮” …LIKE. I WAS SO confused and a bit irritated at that reaction. He DID later say a few short words of sympathy but wtf was the “😮😮”…So a week or so later I thought about my lingering irritation, and now I’m MAD. He expects me to be empathetic towards him, and I am, but whenever I even BRIEFLY mention struggles beyond himself he won’t give it the proper care it deserves. Ie one time I mentioned women’s struggles with gross men and then I also talked a bit about men’s struggles being hard too, and he said, “I’m glad you acknowledge men’s struggles!” and it’s like yes I did but… the first and main point of this particular convo was women??? Are you so self absorbed and stuck in your head??? At least acknowledge women too? He preaches about empathy but doesn’t live up to it, or at the very least, doesn’t realize his own need to grow. So, I’m quite tired and irritated. All these guys have the same thing in common, and it’s that they see me as some sort of saint for them to be loved and validated by. They seek me to use me for their own benefit, but they do not CARE about ME, AND they think of themselves as top shit. I know they need love. I sympathize with them. Trust me. But they don’t see me for me, nor do they treat me well. I am no saint, though I want to be a good person, the best person I can be. They idealize me because I’m a friendly and curious and caring person, but they don’t treat me as a person.

I’m teetering on the edge of cutting him off. But I know he went through a breakup 2-3 months ago, and I personally believe he’s acting this desperately and strongly because he’s lonely. I sympathize with him and I wonder if I judge him too harshly… But the red flags are raised. A 30 year old going for a 21 year old??? Am I crazy to think that that’s weird as fuck?? I feel bad for him. I’m irritated. I’m tired and I need to put myself first, as I’ve already got a hard life to deal with before I can be stable and give more of me. At least, this is the thought process I currently have. Do you think so too? Did I miss anything or see something inaccurately— what do you think?

He’s the fourth guy who is significantly older than me (30+) to try and get in a relationship with me. It keeps happening. I don’t even go out much. I don’t even interact with guys much. It’s insane. Everytime I go out and interact with people and the world (like coworkers and meeting people when I volunteer), this happens. They all told me they love my care/empathy (which is, of course, a work in progress). I think my natural curiosity made them think i was interested in them, even though i never flirted with any of them or even thought about a romantic or sexual relationship with any of them!! I even told some of them from the start that I only like women!

Is this normal, do most guys do this?

Tough constructive criticism towards me always welcome.

And you don’t have to answer!! Ty for reading :)

- m <3

That's me, pushing you over the edge you were teetering on, r.e. your decision to cut him off.

There's nil else that needs to be said. You have suggested to him in many ways, without actually saying the words blatantly, that you are not interested. By continuing to pursue you despite your discomfort, going so far as to think this is a matter of simply convincing you, shows that he's not empathetic, and is in fact, absolutely in this for himself.

What women aged 30+ tend to find (anecdotally, on average, from discussions with my cohort) is that men who routinely target younger women for relationships/sex, do so for a number of reasons, none of them good, but some of them being: recognition of reduced confidence and therefore vulnerability in younger women, average lower standards of younger women due to life experience (not a crime at all!), and the mens' underdeveloped emotional maturity, and age fetishization.

It's all about Power.

"You're so mature for your age!" Yeah yeah-- 'for your age', but not for his age. Women his age are simply more likely to not tolerate his bullshit, and he's probably underdeveloped emotionally with bad habits that make him a bad partner.

If you're being routinely targeted by these men, which is, I must absolutely clarify, NOT YOUR FAULT, try to have a little self reflection; is there something about you aside from simply your age, that makes you seem more vulnerable to these men? Because your chances of ending up in a badly balanced age gap relationship are higher the more associated vulnerabilities you have.

My only criticism of you? Take this opportunity to strengthen your spine. Lash out hard, and if you are absolutely not interested in these men, make it brutally, savagely, immediately clear. Don't be wishy-washy. Give them absolutely zero soft answers because unfortunately with men like these, soft answers make them think they have a chance.

Stop being kind to people who try to manipulate you.

It's sad that being nasty is the only way, and they'll try to make you look like the bad guy ('oh I was just being friendly, you're safe around me'), but you're not, and you should give them the middle finger they deserve.

I guarantee that they will age but will continue to target women and girls your age. Our current 'daddy' and hyperfetishisation of age (especially for young women) culture, sadly, gives them support to do this.

That is, again, not your fault; doesn't it look so clear now that they don't have your best interest at heart?

While not all age gap relationships have a power imbalance, a great, great many do. Consistent targeting by fully adult men should be a massive red flag.

Again, in the job I'm in, I witness and examine a great great number of heterosexual relationships in intimate detail, and I assure you, big age gap relationships are amongst the most likely to leave the women (because it is almost invariably the woman being the younger one) on a significant back foot.

Brief reminder that women aged 30+ aren't 'jealous' that lots of men their age target barely adult women; we see them as the manipulators they are, and we want to protect you.

Love,

-- Haitch xxx

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

For your modern avatar au What if spider has some sort of respiratory diseases, or other chronic inflammatory lung or obstructive lung diseases. Because he has to were a oxygen mask in the movie.

Alright here is my answer finally @peachycrime

Okay, unfortunately my first thought was the fucking 2001 comedy/romance Bubble Boy, so that's cool.

Luckily for you I've been in the reddie fandom hardcore since 2016 so WE KNOW ABOUT ASTHMATIC HEADCANONS IN THIS HOUSE.

I think I'd pick like severe asthma because it just jives for me, but if you wanna go crazy we could really have a fucking Fault in our Stars/Five Feet Apart moment here. Really lean into locorro or spiri here.

-Spider lived with Norm for years because he was the foster parent they had with the most medical experience, but eventually he just was LIVING with Jake and Neytiri .

-Stay at home wheelchair dad Jake Sully with his three little kids under three had none of the attention or free time to dedicate to a kid with medical issues, but him and work from home Norm become a seamless team in the kids toddler years.

-Neytiri had just finished her residency so she was simply flawless with him. He's pretty much a normal kid, he's just got bad asthma. He does all physical activity he can, but he gets out of breath quickly and has to stop for a puff or two before he can get back out there.

-Neteyam is younger but they're in the same grade because Spider got held back because he was so lil because he was a sick kid before Neytiri and Norm got a hold of him.

-He carries around an inhaler and Neteyam also carries around an inhaler because Neteyam may be younger but he is so protective of Spider and so worried about him losing his breath when they are at school and their parents aren't around.

-Tonowari and Jake meet at the playground on a Saturday and all of a sudden Jake is an after-school care, watching his own four kids and Ao'nung and Tsireya (and neighborhood latchkey kid Rotxo who Spider loves because he was also a latchkey kid).

-Ao'nung gets mad at Spider during a game of pickle where they are both the taggers because Spider stops to tag a puff. Ao'nung insists he has to keep going and Spider does and ends up passing out.

-He's not allowed to run or do anything strenuous for two days and Ao'nung is grounded by Ronal for a week. Neteyam and Kiri don't talk to him for a day. He feels really bad though and after that he yells at any kid who tries to get Spider to do anything physical at school until a teacher has to call home and they all have to have a chat lol.

-Neytiri and Norm we're absolutely unbearable for days, hovering over him and making him drink water, while Jake was treating Spider exactly the same. They are disability buddies and Jake would never treat Spider as fragile because he isn't. In fact, they played catch later that night even though Spider was sitting down and it gave Neteyam an aneurysm.

-Lo'ak always explains to strangers that his brother is cool he just has "shit lungs" because he heard Jake say that one time.

-Reddie moment: "Spider Sully Blasts Off!" every time he uses his inhaler.

[self-proclaimed-detective]

introductory post. . .

I’m Shuichi Saihara, the Ultimate Detective (despite not feeling worthy of that title just yet). And no, that is not a joke.

This blog is for my thoughts regarding.. well, being a fictionkin of Shuichi.

I have a LOT of memories, a majority of them fairly vivid. In my canon, the killing game was a simulation and everybody ended up surviving.

I am a minor, so please keep that in mind. However, I’m okay with adults interacting. Just don’t be weird and we’ll be fine

DNI criteria:

anti therian/otherkin/fictionkin

homophobic

transphobic

anti agere

DDLG

BYI:

My tone ranges between really energetic to really formal/monotone, even over text. Promise I’m not mad /gen

I am also an age regressor, so sometimes that may pop up too. Yes, I did regress during the killing game. Obviously I didn’t make a show of it, but it happened. My age range tends to be 3-4

Due to the nature of Danganronpa, mentions of death and such will probably be common. Posts like these will not be tagged

Here’s some details about me, specifically about my fictionkin experience

I am a feminine transmasc, he/him, both in real life and in my canon.

Also, I never took off my hat. I did get better at making eye contact though!

In my canon, the killing game lasted a lot longer than the video game makes it seem. There were more than just a few days in between “chapters”, and the time between murders was more like 2-3 weeks long. Therefore the killing game itself lasted 3 or 4 months.

Also, the killing game was not real, as said before. Therefore a large portion of time was spent in the hospital, mentally and physically recovering from the trauma. Everybody survived.

After every participant in the killing game was deemed healthy enough and relatively mentally stable (keyword relatively), we were all moved to an apartment complex to live together. Everybody got their own room, but staying over at someone’s was very, very common

(yes, even Tsumugi was there, she saw the flashback light at the beginning of the game too. She was just unlucky enough to be chosen as mastermind. Please don’t hate her. We actually became really good friends)

I don’t think I had any “ships”, so to speak. Not even Kaede-chan, despite popular fandom belief. She was just a very close friend.

I think I had the strongest friendships with Kaito, Shinguji-san, Harukawa-chan, Kirumi, and Gonta-kun. I also found Ouma-kun fun and interesting (in a good way)

Taglist

🔎 mundane chats ; general ☂️ late night deductions ; talk about canon 🔎 inquiries ; asks ☂️ survivor’s guilt ; vents or upsetting posts 🍼 child detective ; posts related to agere + custom tags for other danganronpa characters

and another day goes by. . .

dividers found here, PFP found here, banner image found here

[ry-ya05]

the way sofronaria left the GCs she was in with us (except for mc gc since it included her other friends) before she went abroad for a math competition

also i gotta update about what happened during our group counseling because im so bad at following-up my talks??

we discussed how she brought her boyfriend to our lunches when she SAID TO NOT ADD HIM IN THE GROUP CHAT... worst part is that she mostly talks to him so why bother eating with us...

one thing kelis brought up too was that HER BOYFRIEND WAS THERE DURING ONE OF OUR OUTINGS AND THAT SHE DIDN'T EVEN TELL US. the guidance counselor proposed the idea of coincidentally meeting him, BUT NO. SOFRONARIA AND HER BOYFRIEND PLANNED ON MEETING IN THE MALL AND NEITHER OF THEM TOLD USS

another part was, obviously, the frequent crashouts, slight hypocrisy, and sofronaria's thinking on how she feels like she's an important person in the group

tbh, yeah, she is an important person. (friend group w/ sofronaria) would've been so dry without her and i am thankful she talks a lot there, but like... it escalated to the point where she talks about herself

also, we learned about [Room 102], something gynt keeps bringing up. im not gonna say the full details but [Room 102] was a bathroom. gynt went in there with a few other boys, including sofronaria's boyfriend.

boyfriend ________________ down and started _______ one of the boys

fill in the blanks!!

anyways we came to the conclusion that THE BOYFRIEND WAS THE PROBLEM /hj

also the fact that sofronaria is obsessed with him probably stems from her history with her family. they call her... beautiful but in... another way iykwim

then it somehow got off track because we started talking about gynt's crushes HELP

also a few days prior to the group counseling, idk if i talked about this, but we filled in lil bro (ryoka's little brother) about our conflict with sofronaria and he said that she was kind of an attention seeker... golly!

edit: forgot to add this, but also alto received info about sofronaria and her boyfriend's relationship,, it's apparently a bit toxic now...

but uhh yeah that's it for the update,, i'll end it with one of gynt's diss tracks to her:

"You know what frustrates me the most about you, Sofronaria? It’s how you can’t take a joke or even act rationally. First, let’s talk about why you’re always so mad at me. Have you ever considered that you never stop insulting and belittling me? You paint me in a false light, thinking so lowly of me that my feelings don’t even matter to you. And not just me—you look down on the entire group like you’re somehow above us all. Your ego is unmatched. Just so you know, you are not special. And yet, when I joke back—even though it’s just that, a joke—you take it so seriously as if it’s some kind of law. Then you have the audacity to call me the reason for your frustration? The truth is, your frustration is your own doing. You chose to hate me. You don’t even know me because all we do is joke-fight, and you never give me a real chance. Oh, and about your boyfriend—(name drop!!), stay out of our conversations. Seriously. Stop bringing him to our lunches and expecting him to just blend in. If you want to be with him, go to him. Nobody wants (boyfriend) around; he’s irrelevant. Kelis doesn’t even bring (kelis' boyrfriend).

And to the rest of you—I’m disappointed. A debater I once looked up to can’t even use reason to see that what I said in Filipino wasn’t real? Do you just assume the worst, or are you so incapable of controlling yourself that you won’t stop to think about what’s really happening in the group? And (me, rya)—every day, you vent about wanting to die, and (friend group w/ sofronaria) drops everything to support you, offering the best advice. And yet, you still say, “It doesn’t matter, I’ll do it anyway.” Do you realize how exhausting it is to keep you alive? And now you’re suddenly talking about “contribution”? When all we have been trying to do is cheer you up?

Contribution isn’t the issue here. This isn’t a group project. It’s a friendship. But lately, it doesn’t feel like one.

You act like F Sacrificing a few others just for (boyfriend) or rather you dont shut up. You constantly vent and yet you refuse to change. I like F because atleast when j see her in the hallways its a hi not a middlefinger, atleast when i talk properly to her it isnt an insult. She talks about her boyfriend btt atleast doesnt bring him into so kuch of our group outings, what happened to "only" (friend group w/ sofronaria) gc invited."

[lemoncrushh]

Too Far From Texas | Chapter Nine

STORY PAGE

Word Count: 4657

I felt sick. I wasn’t sure how much sleep I’d actually managed to get, but I knew I’d gotten up to go to the bathroom three times, and laid in the bed staring into the darkness for so long that my thoughts had started to get twisted.

Lorelei was quiet during breakfast, smiling and nodding to the handful of things I was willing to share, though her looks at me over the table told me she was dying to get the details. Finally, during our cab ride to the bookstore, she nudged me.

“Alright, spill.”

“Spill what?”

“What exactly happened? I’m assuming you stayed the night, but the fact that you don’t have the most lovestruck, goofy look on your face tells me something’s off.”

I looked down at my lap. Lorelei leaned closer.

“Is he not that good?” she whispered.

I eyed her, then sighed. “No, that’s not it.”

“Really? ‘Cause I mean...it happens. He wouldn’t be the first man not to live up to expectations.”

“He…” I gazed out the window, “he exceeded my expectations.”

“Wow! Seriously? Hot damn!”

I shook my head.

“Are you sore? Is that it? Sometimes when I’m with a guy who’s...kinda big...I feel off kilter for a few days. Like I’m totally blissed out, but also raw. What I do is soak in a hot tub and then lie down with a pillow between -”

“Lor!” I interrupted. “I didn’t sleep with him.”

“What?”

“Well...technically I did sleep with him. But we didn’t have sex.”

“Why not?”

“Because…” I sighed again. “Emery was sick.”

“Wait, what?”

“Tod called me. Emery had a high fever, and he was worried, and of course that got me worried ten times more because he never worries about shit.”

“Oh, God!”

“I kept my phone next to me so he could keep me updated, but here I was on this amazing date with this amazing man. And I knew, Lor, I knew I was gonna sleep with him. I was ready. But I just...couldn’t.”

“Well of course not! Your baby was sick! Plus, you were having to talk to your ex on the phone. Who the hell can concentrate on sex when that shit’s going on?”

I widened my eyes. “Thank you!”

“Wait, was he mad?”

“Who?”

“Harry. Was he mad you didn’t have sex?”

“No,” I shook my head. “Well, he said it was okay. He’d wanted me to stay though. And I know it had to hurt when I said no.”

“You probably bruised his ego.”

“I didn’t mean to.” I swallowed hard. “There’s more.”

“More?”

“I had another dream.”

“A dream about Harry?”

“Yes,” I nodded. “While I was with him. We’d fallen asleep after Tod had called to say Emery was okay, and I woke up shaking.”

“And?”

“The Harry part was...sweet. I was happy. It was my birthday and he’d asked me to marry him.”

“Oh my God!” Lorelei squealed.

“It sounds ludicrous now. But I remember feeling amazingly happy in the dream. Then Tod showed up and told me I’d never truly be happy.”

Lorelei scoffed. “He’s said that to you before.”

I shrugged. “Maybe it’s the truth.”

“No, it’s not, it’s a lie. And you know it. You might be a little afraid of letting yourself go simply because you had an asshole telling you how to feel for so long. But I think once you do, you can and will be happy. The happiest.”

I turned my head to the window once more. “I think I’m falling for him, Lor.”

“That’s awesome!” she declared, grabbing and squeezing my hand.

“No, it’s not,” I muttered. “It’s frightening as hell.”

The book signing was much like the ones in Texas, only at a larger scale. More people came, which shocked me considering we weren’t local writers. One woman, who looked to be around our age, stood and chatted with us for several minutes about her own personal story that was very similar to Melissa’s. She’d come to New York fifteen years ago in search of her twin sister from whom she’d been separated at birth. Lorelei and I laughed when we heard that after finding her, she’d fallen in love with her sister’s brother-in-law. He’d acted skeptical and aloof in the beginning until she’d confessed her belief that they were soul mates.

“I told him if he wanted to act like I didn’t exist, that was fine, but I knew we were meant to be together, and I wasn’t planning on leaving until he saw the truth.”

“Maybe that’s what Melissa should have told Gavin,” Lorelei quipped.

“Nah,” the woman shook her head. “Gavin was too stubborn and hard-headed. Not like my Sammy.”

By the time we broke for lunch, we’d already sold more copies of The Loving Kind than we had in a full day in Houston. Lorelei and I walked around the corner to a deli, and when I sat down to eat my sandwich, I checked my phone.

Just wanted to wish you luck today. I’ll call later.

Shit.

I hadn’t realized I’d voiced it aloud until Lor asked what was up.

“Yeah, he’s mad,” I mumbled.

“What?”

I handed her my phone so she could read his text.

“Stacey, where the hell does it say he’s mad? He’s wishing you a good day. And he wants to talk later.”

“Exactly. Short and sweet. No “I miss you” or “baby” like he usually says. He’s mad.”

Lorelei rolled her eyes. “He’s busy. He made it a point to text you in the middle of his crazy schedule.”

“You’re right,” I sighed. Then I laughed at myself, my face in my hands. “Oh my God, I’m being ridiculous.”

“Well, you know, you were the one who left.”

“I know. Why did I do that?”

“I’m not blaming you, Stace,” said Lorelei. “I’m just looking at it from his perspective.”

“So you do think he’s mad.”

“No, I didn’t say that. But he might be...cautious.”

“Yeah,” I swallowed. “Yeah, he has every right to be. I mean, I’ve got so much baggage already. Why would he want me?”

“Stacey! Stop overthinking!”

I nodded in response, picking up my sandwich.

I had a stomachache for most of the afternoon. I smiled and greeted our readers, but my heart wasn’t in it. I knew I shouldn’t have been worried about Harry’s text. He’d said he’d call after all. I was reading too much into it. I felt like a fool for more reasons than one.

I hadn’t been back in my hotel room for ten minutes before he called. I caught Lorelei out of the corner of my eye grab the ice bucket and head out the door.

“Hello?” I timidly spoke into the phone.

“I want to apologize.”

“Um...what for?”

“I’d meant to set up the coffee for you again at the bookstore, but someone dropped the ball.”

I giggled and covered my face with my hand. “Oh my God, Harry.”

“Wha-?”

“I don’t know. You’re just...too much. I don’t know how to feel.”

“Feel about what? About me? Or coffee?”

“Stop it.”

“Everything okay?” he asked after a moment of silence. “How’s Em?”

“Oh, she’s fine. I called Tod this morning and he let her stay home from school. Her fever is gone, but she needed the rest since she’d been up late.”

“Good. And how are you?”

“I’m okay. Had a great turn-out today. It went by fast.” I didn’t bother to tell him about my stomachache.

“That’s great. But I meant...how are you? You still seemed pretty upset when you left this morning.”

“I did?”

“Stacey…” he sighed.

“Hmm?”

“Look, as far as I’m concerned, there really isn’t any need to discuss what happened, or...didn’t happen. But if you wanna talk, we can.”

I felt my stomach flip as I scooted back on the bed. “I just feel like an idiot,” I whispered.

“Why?”

“Because...it was such a wonderful evening and I ruined it.”

“No, you didn’t. Stacey, I don’t regret one damn thing about last night. Except...maybe not trying harder to make you stay.”

“I wanted to stay,” I admitted. “Please believe me.”

“I do.”

“Really?”

“Just bad timing,” said Harry. “Or unfortunate circumstances. Out of our control. But I promise you, love, we haven’t missed our chance. We’ll have another.”

“I hope so. I’ve just been sick over this all day.”

“You have?”

“I’d thought I’d made you mad.”

“Baby…”

“Like I said, I felt like a fool. And now I’m leaving in a few hours.”

“I wish I could be with you before you go,” Harry murmured.

His choice of words were not lost on me. He said “be with you”, not “see you.”

“Me too. Where are you?”

“Rockefeller center. I’m filming The Tonight Show.”

“Ohh, excellent!” I exclaimed. “I love Jimmy.”

“Yeah, me too,” he chuckled.

“Would there be any possible way you could get a picture with him and send it to me? I might be a teensy-weensy bit of a fan.”

Harry laughed harder. “I’ll see what I can do.”

After the light-hearted conversation with Harry, I felt much better. Lorelei and I watched a movie before deciding we should grab something to eat before heading to the airport. We were looking over the room service menu when there was a knock at the door.

“Delivery for Barnett and Burns?” said the man on the other side when I opened it.

“We didn’t order anything,” argued Lorelei behind me.

“No, ma’am. This is courtesy of NBC studios.”

“NBC?”

“Oh!” I nodded. “Yes, thank you!”

The man smiled at me as I held the door open for him to bring the cart inside. On the top tray were what looked to be two covered dishes, a beautiful pink floral bouquet in the center. The bottom tray held a chilled bottle of champagne and a mini-sized fruit tray complete with dip.

“What the hell is at NBC?” asked Lorelei incredulously after the man had left.

“Harry. He filmed The Tonight Show today.”

“Oh, of course,” she chuckled.

Walking around to the other side of the cart, I let out my own cackle.

“What?” asked Lor.

Behind the floral arrangement was a Starbucks cup. I lifted it up to show her. “He sent me my latte.”

“What a guy. There’s a card, too,” she pointed.

I bit my lip as I opened the envelope. Unfolding the card, I gasped, covering my mouth with my hand.

“What is it?”

I turned it around so she could see the polaroid picture of Harry and Jimmy.

“I’d asked if he could send me a picture. I kinda just meant on the phone. I wasn’t expecting all this.”

“Well, I think the rule with Harry Styles is to expect the unexpected.”

“Apparently.”

Lorelei lifted the cover of one of the dishes, her eyes wide. “Wow, nice!”

“What is this?” I asked, removing the cover on mine. Once again, I couldn’t hold back my fit of giggles. Harry had sent a delicious meal of steak, salmon, potatoes and asparagus.

“I don’t get it, what’s so funny?”

“I’m not exactly sure if he meant to do this,” I replied, “but on our date we had chicken. He’d said it was because he wasn’t sure if I was a fish or steak person. And I told him I liked everything.”

Lorelei shook her head slowly, and I thought she might have rolled her eyes.

“Are you making fun of me?” I pouted, crossing my arms.

“Not at all,” she winked. “But you two are so fucking cute, it’s sickening.”

Sitting in an airport at night is interesting. There’s still tons of people coming and going, but in my mind, it seems like everyone should be at home, relaxing with a book and curled up under a cozy blanket, or holding their loved ones. Instead, they’re boarding planes, or arguing with the staff at the gate, or trying to get their baby to stop crying, or talking on their cell phones like it’s the most important conversation they’ve ever had.

I’d texted Harry before I’d left the hotel to thank him for the dinner, but he hadn’t responded yet. I sat next to Lorelei as I flipped through a magazine, not really reading anything. I watched a young couple across from me who shared a pair of earbuds, the girl wearing pajama pants and an oversized hoodie with her hands inside the sleeves. She leaned over and rested her head on the boy’s shoulder who gave a small smile without looking up from his iPad. For a split second I considered that he looked like a younger Harry until I remembered Harry was only twenty-three.

This time I actually did fall asleep on the plane. It was no wonder though, after the night I’d had before. I awoke just as the pilot was making the announcement that we were descending into Chicago. There was no Drew waiting for us at that airport, however. We took a cab to the hotel, a smaller, older one than the Hyatt, but I didn’t care. As soon as I rolled my suitcase next to my bed, I went to the bathroom to shower.

“Your phone rang,” said Lorelei when I returned. “I didn’t look to see who it was though.”

I actually had two missed calls from Harry. The first time he’d left a voicemail.

“Hi baby. You’re probably on your flight right now. I just wanted to tell you I got your text and you’re very welcome. When I told Jimmy about you, he actually insisted on the polaroid and the flowers. The food was my idea.”

The smile in his voice made me smile.

“Anyway, I miss you already. I wish you could have stayed another day. Maybe...maybe tonight would’ve been better. We could’ve continued where we left off.”

My breath caught in my throat as I heard him groan.

“Jesus, I shouldn’t be saying this on a voicemail. If...if I don’t...talk to you before you go to sleep, then have a good night and a good morning and I’ll...talk to you soon, yeah? Yeah. Goodnight, love.”

I stared straight ahead, my phone still attached to my ear. It took me a minute or two to even realize where I was. Blinking, I laid down on the pillow, covering myself with the sheets and comforter.

The call while I’d been in the shower was also Harry, but he hadn’t left a message that time. He probably thought I’d gone to bed. Pressing his name on the screen, I felt my heart race.

“Hey,” he said softly.

“Hi, did you just call me?”

“Sorry, did I wake you?”

“No, I was in the shower.”

“Oh.”

I sucked in my lips, wondering what the heck to say next. “I miss you, too,” I blurted.

I could hear him breathing through the phone. “Glad to know it’s not one-sided, then.”

“No way,” I said.

“Hmm.” That contented sound again. “Sorry, I’m really tired. I just wanted to hear your voice before I went to sleep.”

“That’s sweet.”

“I leave for London tomorrow,” he yawned.

“Oh.” I hadn’t realized. “Then I guess I’ll miss you even more.”

“Tell me about it. Have a good day tomorrow. You’re in Chicago, right?”

“Yes. And you have a safe flight.”

“Thanks. Goodnight, beautiful.”

“Goodnight, Harry.”

Once again, the book signing went off without a hitch. Well, maybe a small hitch. I missed Harry. He’d managed to provide Lorelei and me with our much-appreciated coffee, a tiny offering that continued to make me feel special and reminisce about our first meeting.

I thought about him a lot. I knew he would be busy, whether he was in the air or on the ground, so I didn’t bother texting or calling him. I knew he’d contact me when he had time.

“We should go out,” declared Lorelei as soon as we returned to the hotel.

“Do you not recall the last time we went out?” I scoffed.

“We had fun though, until you wanted to go back to the hotel so you could talk to Harry.”

“Excuse me for not being a party girl.”

Lor rolled her eyes. “I just mean we’re in a new city. And it’s Saturday night. And Harry’s most likely not going to call. Because by the time our evening gets going, it’s gonna be four in the morning in London.”

“You’re probably right,” I nodded, tossing my coat on the bed.

I wore the same dress I wore on my date with Harry. It was really the only thing I’d packed that was suitable for a night out, unless I wanted to look like I’d just come from the office or from the gym. I stared at myself in the mirror while I was waiting for Lorelei to finish up her makeup. I thought about all the things I’d hoped would happen when I’d worn that dress. I thought about the way I’d have let him touch me, how I’d wanted him to touch me. Closing my eyes, I ran my hands down my chest, my waist, my hips. I thought of his voice when he’d asked me to stay, and again when he’d said he’d wished I had. Grabbing the sides of my dress into my fists, I let out a sigh.

“You ready?” I heard Lorelei call.

Fluttering my eyes open, I let out one more deep breath. “Yeah.”

Pulling on my coat, I followed her out to the elevator.

The first club we went to was so loud, I thought my ears were going to bleed. I didn’t even like the music they played, not to mention the dancefloor was so crowded my claustrophobia was kicked into high gear. I went into a mini anxiety attack before Lorelei agreed to leave.

The place we found next, and ended up staying the rest of the evening was a bar where a live cover band was playing. That was more up my alley. The band was really good, too, and I knew all the songs they played - a good mix of classic rock and more current tunes.

We sat at a table close to the bar where we had a good view of the stage. The band was in the middle of a Foo Fighters song when Lor leaned over to whisper in my ear.

“Don’t look now, but someone’s watching you at the bar.”

“Well how am I supposed to see without looking?”

“Okay, but don’t make it obvious. Plaid shirt, three o’clock.”

Shifting my gaze to where she’d mentioned, I saw him. He was definitely checking me out, though he was also trying not to make it obvious.

“Eh, not my type,” I remarked.

“You mean he’s not Harry.”

“No, I mean he kinda looks like a douchebag,” I explained, lifting my beer. “Plus he looks like Tod.”

“He does not!”

“Yeah he does. He looks like Tod did when I met him.”

“Really?” Lorelei made a face. “I didn’t know Tod ever looked like that.”

“Well, he was no Brad Pitt-”

“Or Harry Styles!”

I pursed my lips. “Or Harry Styles. But he still managed to do a little something for me. Enough to fall in love and marry him and have two kids.”

Lor glared at me. “Can I gag now?”

I chuckled. “Yeah, you can. Sometimes I can’t believe I fell for him either.”

“You know you can do so much better, right?”

I smirked, taking another swig of my beer. “Yes, because you keep telling me.”

“That’s what friends are for, my dear.”

Setting my beer bottle on the table, I eyed the guy at the bar. The band switched into “Whiskey in the Jar” as I swung my leg to the rhythm. He smiled at me. I smiled back.

For the duration of the song, I guess you could say we were flirting. The more I caught his eye, the cuter he seemed to get. Or maybe it was just the beer. Lorelei nudged me, wondering what the hell was going on, but all I could do was shrug.

Just as the band was setting up for the next song, changing guitars and allowing the bass player to step up to the mic, a tall frame came into view, blocking some of the already dim light.

“Hi ladies,” said the voice occupied by the frame.

“Hi,” greeted Lorelei, automatically bouncing her blond curls from her shoulder.

“I couldn’t help but notice your beers are getting low. Can I buy the next round?”

Had Lor’s smile not been spread so wide across her face that she looked like she had a clothes hanger in her mouth, I would have laughed at the guy. But when he sat down and introduced himself as Brandon, I knew that my own boy-toy flirting had kept me from noticing that she’d been having some of her own.

Brandon seemed like a nice enough guy, but I quickly felt like the third wheel. I tried catching the eye of the boy at the bar again, but he was gone. It was just as well. I was probably just reacting to the attention instead of the guy himself.

I excused myself to go to the restroom and while inside, I checked my phone for any potential messages. Nada. With a sigh, I shoved my phone back in my purse. I didn’t know why I wanted to hear from him so badly, or why I’d expected to. I just missed him.

“Hi!” I heard before I saw him.

He was standing in the hallway that lead to the bathrooms. Okay, truth was, he was cuter than Tod. In fact, he looked nothing like him. But he still most definitely was not my type.

“Hi.”

“I thought you’d left,” he said.

“Nope.”

“What’s your name?”

I licked my lips. “Lexi,” I lied. I didn’t know why.

“Sexy?”

I laughed. “No, Lexi. With an L.”

“I like Sexy better. Fits you.”

I shook my head. What a dork. “I should get back to my friend.”

“I’m Chip,” he said, extending his hand.

“Of course you are,” I muttered under my breath. “My guess is corn.”

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing. Nice to meet you, Chip. But I really must go.”

“Why don’t you have a drink with me?”

I sighed. I guess it couldn’t hurt.

I rejoined Lorelei and Brandon at the table while I waited for Chip to bring our drinks, though they barely noticed my presence. The band played some 90s song and Lor stood up and swayed, Brandon taking advantage and dancing up against her.

When Chip emerged with more beer and tequila shots, Lorelei squealed and took a shot in one large gulp before carrying on with her dancing.

Chip and I tried to have a conversation, but I was bored with everything he had to say. I barely paid attention to his story about himself, where he was from (Cleveland? Milwaukee?), and where he went to school (Who the Hell Knows Tech). I wanted him to get the hint, but either he was dense or too drunk to care. When he came back with another round of drinks, I told him thanks, but that it would be the last one and Lor and I had to go.

“Aw, you don’t have to go so soon,” he slurred.

I grimaced. “Yeah. I have a plane to catch in the morning.”

“Both of you?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes.”

“Doesn’t look like she’s going anywhere,” Chip pointed in Lorelei’s direction.

I nearly gasped when I saw her. Brandon had her up against the table, his fingers in her hair, his tongue in her mouth.  I watched as she hiked up her leg and wrapped it around his before he lifted her up and onto the table.

“Lor!” I whispered loudly, knowing damn well she couldn’t hear me over the music. I tapped her on the shoulder. “Lorelei!”

“See? Told ya?”

Giving Chip a look, I quickly rose from my stool and grabbed Lorelei by the arm.

“What the fuck?” she cried.

“We gotta go.”

“Why? What happened?”

“You’re drunk,” I said firmly.

“So?”

“So, it’s almost two a.m. and we’re in an unfamiliar city and you’re making stupid decisions.”

“I’m not stupid!” she exclaimed, shaking her arm from my grip.

“I didn’t say you are. Just your actions.”

“No, I’m not leaving!” she yelled when I tried to pull her hand.

“Why not?”

She stepped closer to me, her breath reeking of tequila. I supposed I hadn’t been keeping tabs on how many shots she’d had. But now it was obvious she wasn’t acting rationally.

“I’m going home with Brandon,” she said.

“The fuck you are,” I scoffed.

“Yeah. Fuck, Stacey! It’s something normal people do.”

She might as well have slapped me in the face. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I’m horny. And I need to get laid.”

I sighed, my face falling. Shaking my head, I tried to grab her hand once more. “Not like this, Lor. This isn’t you.”

“Yes, it is,” she whined.

“Say goodnight to Brandon.”

She turned to look at him, his tall body hovering over hers. “Sorry, hon. I gotta go. Nice meeting you.”

“Yeah, sure,” he muttered just as I peeled Lorelei away. I didn’t bother to give Chip anything more than a wave.

“Shit!” Lorelei groaned when she slid into the back seat of the taxi.

“I’m sorry, Lor, but you’ll thank me in the morning.”

“Maybe,” she sighed, leaning her head back. “But damn, I could climb that boy like a tree.”

The effects of the tequila were tenfold the next morning. Lorelei threw up a couple of times during the night, but it was the hangover headache that kept her in bed. I offered to make sure everything was packed and ready for checkout so that all she needed to do was shower and brush her teeth before throwing on her most comfortable sweatsuit.

It wasn’t until we were waiting to board our flight to Nashville that I checked my phone again. I’d made myself not check it when I’d gotten back to the hotel the night before, nor that morning when I got up. I figured if I kept checking every couple hours and saw nothing, it would only make me disappointed and paranoid.

However, I kicked myself when I realized he’d called. And texted. And sent a picture.

“Hi, baby. I’m sorry I missed you. You’re probably out having fun though, as you should be. I just thought I’d try to catch you because of the time difference. I’m finally going to bed. It’s almost five here. But I’ll ring you again when I wake up. Night, love.”

I felt my cheeks pinch as I smiled. I only wished I could have heard his voice that night. It was the text and photo though, that really did me in.

So, I thought of something that I don’t know about you yet, that I’m hoping to find out soon. How do you like your eggs?

Underneath the text was a photo of a table, a white tablecloth covering it with a teapot, cup and saucer. Beside the cup was a silver platter filled with scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, fruit and muffins.

Regardless of the full display of food, however, the thing that got my heart pumping was what was in the bottom right corner. A leg. And not just any leg. But a hairy thigh, a white terry robe only half covering it, a knee poking out at the end. Whether he’d meant to show me skin or not, my mouth was watering.

I texted him back the cheekiest thing I could think of.

I like them any way I can get them.

I laughed out loud when he texted me back.

Good answer.

A/N: I really hope some of you find the humor in my writing, because I'm making myself laugh as I read it back lol.

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[officialpenisenvy]

hello i'm the guy who is transgender but whose dad kept calling a guy and beating for acting gay for some strange reason and i have another confession composed of semi-interlinked stories that came up mostly because i've been off work the past week. the first is i've been hooking up with this closet case i work with and a few days ago i found out the story he's been telling his neighbour who saw me coming home with him a couple of times is that i'm his sort-of-estranged son and that's ok, except i need to hold up my end of pretending to be his son so they don't know he's fucking me, but i hate my real dad so bad that i now fantasise about killing this guy a lot and i don't know how to tell him, and i also don't think the lie is very successful because i was chatting with his neighbour yesterday and she looked at me kind of concerned and said are you and your father close? and i really don't know how to navigate this situation. secondly i've been having late night inebriated conversations with my brother because i told him to read marx and he listens to me so now he's reading marx and reporting his thoughts and a big problem that has come up is he keeps calling me dad, on accident, and he doesn't notice he's doing it unless i make a face, and if i do he starts crying because he's sort of a baby that way, but i can't tell him to cut it out because then i WILL be like my dad. thirdly my mom keeps calling me by my dad's name when she's mad at me and accusing me of avoiding her because i have an oedipus complex which is a crazy thing of her to say but let's not get into that. fourth point is my youngest cousin, the brother of the cousin i was obsessed with as a kid who molested me, is now having his own obsession era but with me, and it's a similar sort of age differential and all, and he's this gay sort of barely-started-puberty kid with no boundaries who's doing the whole "do you think i'll have a voice like yours, can i feel your stubble, wow you're so hairy, do you have a girlfriend? you're gay? what's it like?" thing, so i feel a bit sick partly because of the memories and partly because i don't like acknowledging that i'm gay, which isn't his fault also his stiff is pretty normal early pubescent derangement i think, but i feel crazy, and maybe i live in hell or soemthing all things considered. on an unrelated note you've inspired me to revisit my lz records so i've remembered i generally speaking like them but i think a lot of the magic is lost when listening to their studio albums vs live albums/bootlegs, even being that a lot of the lz official live recordings are kinda off-days for robert plant. but i'm really into whole lotta love version that's on how the west was won... i stole the album from my dad when my parents separated and i spet so much time listening to it on repeat that it now appears to be a fundamental building block of my psyche even though i'm not that into lz all things considered. i hope the rest of your day is good!!

SO much going on here. i think you need to kill your entire family and disappear in the woods with a record player (to listen to led zeppelin on). also i think you should call the guy you're fucking dad during sex and take it from there

[bengiyo]

I Told Sunset About You Rewatch Ep 5 (Finale) Stray Thoughts

As a disclaimer, I don't think ITSAY is the end of this story, but it is the end of this run. This is an I Promised You the Moon fan account.

I also rewatched The Love of Siam (2007) last night to return to the angst I felt going into the end of this.

Last time, Teh blew up every relationship in his life thinking he was doing something for Oh, but really just being a condescending ass to everyone in his life. There was much ugly crying. However, we got the best underwater kiss ever, so it's a wash?

Teh got back to test taking form, but Oh seems to be struggling even with Teh's tools.

This show makes deleting your chat lots so dramatic by underscoring it with the Untold Answer instrumental.

I like walking through the wreckage of Teh's relationships. The friend chat is awkward. His mom is still mad, but she's still make sure he eats. Hoon still believes in him, and wants him to keep the tuition money. His teachers think he's been irresponsible and want him to learn the lesson and do better. Tarn is still pissed and setting effective boundaries.

I continue to adore MoRaoYuLok.

Of course Teh has to be petty and mean to Oh while giving a blessing to Phillip. This is not how you get a man, Teh.

I really do get the "It should have been Bas" folks. He's so kind and earnest. He's not afraid of his feelings for Oh. He said, "I have no shame." Just look at Teh losing it because Bas can just say how he feels for Oh in front of everyone.

I love this teacher for interrupting Oh's answer. It was brave for Bas to confess publicly, but Oh doesn't need to give his answer publicly. Very tactful of the teacher. He gets a plate.

Drink the damn coconut, Teh. Let your family support you.

We don't talk about Nah enough and how well she worked with Billkin and Nat.

Look at them calling back to the first day they met here.

Teh, why are you hurting your own feelings asking questions you already know the answer to? This man is a masochist. He always chooses the thing that will fuck up his life the most.

Look at this man. He is ugly crying during an exam. I feel bad because this is what the closet does to you. Oh moved on, and now he's looking at a version of his life where all of his efforts went to complete waste. Like he's totally in the wrong, but so was I when I was his age. I also made big mistakes.

See, I love the pacing of this show. As much as I feel for Teh and his struggles, he infected Oh with internalized homophobia. Oh panics a bit at Bas holding his hand because of what trying to be with Teh has done to him. That's fucked, and so sad. Bas is just so sweet.

Brother balcony scene, my beloved. You gotta see the documentaries to hear Boss talk about Teh and Nat in this scene.

Still, excellent pacing to follow the mixed feelings of the last few scenes with Teh finally admitting aloud what's going on with him. Hoon is a great brother for asking his brother what needed to be asked in the right way.

I'm an oldest sibling, and one of the oldest cousins. I would have loved having a peer relative give me permission to be who I am. This scene gets me every time.

Love Hoon mentioning hand holding and we've had Bad holding Oh's hand in both scenes around the balcony.

Everyone else is worried about Teh and Bas is unbothered.

Piano scene, my beloved.

Oh immediately reacting to the song, and then the slow pan to push Bas out of frame so we know he's back on his Teh bullshit. Then the reveal that Teh is also here and in his feelings next to the Oh-aew dessert? Skyline remains undefeated.

Of course Oh-aew's family have a red iPad. It's his color and he's not wearing his color right now.

Tarn didn't fuck up her admissions. That's all that matters.

Oh-aew getting into his first pick makes me cry every time. Skyline? Undefeated.

Sui is so relieved that Teh is still getting into a school with his program, but Try feels like he failed because his plan is off.

Bas is the bravest out of all of them. He took Oh to Teh's house so Oh could break up with him. I've been Bas, too. It hurts to know you're not their choice. It's interesting that Teh is upset about only getting his second choice school and Bas is upset about being Oh's second choice.

"I don't want to see him sad." These two, I swear. Bas, I hope you found someone who cares about you first.

Of course we can't have a Bas and Oh scene without checking in with Tarn. I like how they changed her costuming slightly so she looks a little more grown up.

The Tarn Teh-Yongjian portrait is such a thoughtful gift. I feel bad for Tarn, because Teh is trying to let her down as gently as he can. He does his best to affirm that he really did like Tarn for two years, and one of his fears is of things changing and losing friends.

Smile plays Tarn's disappointment so beautifully during the scene. I really don't think we've praised her performance enough. I want to interview her and Tina Holmes (for her work in Edge of Seventeen and Shelter). She tries so hard to not make Teh feel bad even as her heart breaks. Not until Nara in La Pluie do I think we've let the ones who lost in love be sad with this much respect.

I'm glad I watched Love of Siam again, because that movie also cleared up all of its problems before building towards a gay crescendo.

This track playing during Oh's run is so beautiful.

Welcome back, Skyline instrumental. You are the standard.

It's really beautiful to see Teh encouraging Oh for something he believes in finally.

The story of them filming the cape scene and the clouds clearing is as good as the show itself. I cry just thinking about Boss telling us about it.

Oh, Oh-aew, you always have so much room to this boy. "Do not disappear like that again, please," is such a reasonable request.

"If I can be anything, can I be your boyfriend?" genuinely healed a massive hole in my heart left behind by the end of The Love of Siam. What a beautiful final shot. You have no idea the angst I carried even through the first five years I was in modern BL.

When I tell you we had no idea that I Promised You the Moon was coming, and this stinger made us lose our collective minds.

Final Verdict: 10, It Is Still the Standard. This is by far one of the most coherent shows we've ever had. Every single aspect of this show is executed to near-perfection. There is a reason many of us talk about BL as pre- and post-ITSAY. If you have been sitting on the fence about this show, I genuinely think it's hard to understand the seismic shift that followed this show without witnessing it for yourself.

Look for more commentary from us on @the-conversation-pod in the fall. We record our retrospective tomorrow!

[chickensoup1025]

Onto Bubbler...

Before it starts I wanted to say I have beef with Nino in this episode cause he makes his best friend's birthday about his hurt feelings and it's annoying and he didn't even get him a present

It was actually pretty nice of Plagg to try to give him that present

We love Sabine on this blog

Did Nathalie not even try to get him something herself??? She practically raised him!

Y'all should throw a small party at school if a house one isn't gonna work

Marinette is beyond thoughtful for MAKING him a gift.

EVEN CHLOE DIDNT REMEMBER IT WAS HIS BIRTHDAY???

Are you seriously telling me Paris's Teen Sweetheart didn't have a fan club that is celebrating his birthday at all? He's not getting letters in the mail? Or fans coming up to him at school? Or MORE people telling his dad to throw a party/throwing one for him??? This episode is just. Idk man.

Marinette has been a called a push over in the last two episodes (and this is the SECOND EPISODE) so it's amazing to see how far she's come!!!!

ADRIEN HAD A PHOTOSHOOT SCHEDULED ON HIS BIRTHDAY? THATS SO UGHHHHHHHHHH AND DURING HIS LUNCH BREAK TOO

Bro. Nino says he's gonna go to Adrien's house and Marinette and Alya are in the background. Cut to only Marinette and Alya at Adrien's house. Did Nino get lost????

Alya can you please tell Adrien later that it was from Marinette?

NATHALIE YOU SNAKE

Wild how Gabriel really did come out to talk to Nino. Ohhhh he wanted to make Nino an akuma. Gotcha.

DONT SIT ALONE AND BE UPSET NINO. THIS ISNT ABOUT YOU. BE WITH ADRIEN. HE WAS JUST TOLD ON HIS BIRTHDAY THAT HIS BEST FRIEND COULDNT EVER COME AROUND HIS HOUSE AND YOURE JUST GONNA WALK AWAY??? GO BACK TO SCHOOL TOGETHER AT LEAST????? Speaking of, that photoshoot was super quick? And why was he dropped off at his house? No way lunch break is that fast???? Go to school??????

Ugly ass akuma

Gabriel seriously made an akuma who specifically hates and is mad at him 🤦🏽‍♀️

What even counts as an "adult" here? 18+ or like out of university or like old enough to have kids or-

I'm a Nathalie hater I dunno yall I can't believe her this episode.

Just a weird ass akuma

This being his first party makes me wanna cry.

NINO IF YOU TURN ON A SLOW DANCE BECAUSE CHLOE ASKED YOU TO THEN YOU DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT ADRIEN. HE WAS VISIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE EARLIER THAT DAY WHEN SHE WAS UP ON HIM OH MY GOD.

NO ITS THE ADRIENETTE SLOW DANCE SONG NO NO NO

I think Ladybug should be allowed to use her power selfishly like this more often.

Did no one hear when Ladybug said "yours truly"??? It was pretty loud

No one knows how old ladybug and chat noir even are so people might be imagining they're also just stuck in bubbles lol. Oh god, if Adrien and Marinette were adults then they wouldn't be able to transform like that out in the open and THIS COULD HAVE BEEN SUCH A GOOD PLAN TO TRAP THEM OR FIND OUT THEIR IDENTITIES HAWKMOTH JESUS. What you have to do is: Bubbler brings all the bubbles together so you can see them all in one spot. Have Bubbler WATCH, not just throw a party. If someone inside transforms then great! You know who they are. But if LB and or CN show up anyway then you know they're not an adult and that whittles down your search BY A LOT.

Girl is pretty brave for writing "Love, Marinette"

Nathaniel has some Shuichi energy hm

Cool moves...

"But adults keep children, safe, and protected. They care for their kids, they love them!" "Most adults do, anyhow." JESUS CHRIST WAY TO GO STRAIGHT FOR THR HEART

Him throwing his staff for her to swing her yo-yo around was completely unnecessary-

You can really see how the stakes change between the beginning and end of the show. "Oh I'm stuck in a bubble for awhile and just have to wait an hour at most to go back to my normal day" to "oh the world is ending"

Adrien is such a good boy...

One day- NO ONE HOUR of no adults and suddenly every thing everyone is trying to mail will be late for another week. Huh

Marinette didn't take the credit 🥺

"You're amazing Marinette, someone Adrien will see that too." Cut to not even a full season later Adrien leaning back in Marinette's desk chair, "You're amazing, Marinette."

SOMEONE GET THIS BOY A LEGIT BIRTHDAY OR SO HELP ME

[jungkookoverwacthacc]

ARRANGED MARRIAGE Chapter 1

Today was it the wedding day it was a huge wedding luxurious you had a amazing huge princess ball gown wedding dress off the shoulder sleeves and a bustier top weigh expensive jewelry pared with the dress you both were in a other country for a wedding , you hated this but had to smile you nod, your fathers arm and you saw him jeon jungkook….he was tall handsome definitely your type he had a charismatic yet cute face even though he was smiling you could tell he hated this you sigh as you go down the isle now standing face to face you feel a little .. embarrassed? Flustered? So you decided to look at the priest after vows and the i do’s you had to kiss during it he was staring at you intensely in anger….as if it was all your fault…your mere existence made him angry…furious

Then that was it a Kiss you both kissed not long or passionately it was a quick peck you both barely knew each other even …. Later on you guys walked down and now you both were sitting next to each other as people, were drinking talking and coming to take pics you both were silent he seemed pissed just tried to cover it with a smile later you saw ….a female in the crowd starring at jungkook with sad eyes…she had black hair black eyes she was a pretty girl you’d have to admit you saw how her and jungkook looked so sadly at each other after that came the dance you and jungkook slow dancing together …alone on the huge dance floor people smiling family crying while recording you were silent biting your lips you offer a tiny smile he smiles but whispers in your ear “your a cunt that ruined my life…” your smile fades but comes back with a. Sad one after everyone came you danced with your dad and he danced with his mom you look at your dad “dad he is mad very mad I have a bad feeling” your dad smiles but say back quietly “we’ll I mean yoru also mad he probably has a shorter temper just enjoy your wedding…” after you guys were able to be separated you in your heavy dress going to your friends and he went to the bathroom your bridesmaid aka friends are there except two out of four jennie and rosè you down and ask the rest of your friends where on earth they went your friend Kariana spoke “jungkook used to be in a relationship with another girl and like …she where at the wedding they are secretly making sure he doesn’t go up to her or anything like that” you nod slowly and spoke “oh! I think I saw her I like literally saw him and her staring at each other hey looked like they were about to break” you take a sip of Chang pane “holy shit srsly!?” Jisoo said drinking her wine you nodded then you saw jungkook talking with friends you see rosè and Jennie coming back with their arms linked “hey omg your married now!” Jennie says you nod smiling then rose speaks “yah y/n-shii you shoudl go to him bc the girl might come”y/n sighs “he like barely knows me and I don’t know him” Lisa “aigoo yoru like gonna be with him forever just leave it and go” I look the rest of my friends nod I sigh going to him smiling linking my arm with his he had a glass of whiskey in his hands while chatting and I had a glass of white wine in mine his friends smile once they see me jungkook looks annoyed “hi” you say smiling his friends all say hi “woww jungkook you really hit the jackpot eh” his friend hoseok says giggling hitting namjoons arms ,jungkook has a forced smile and chuckles a little annoyed we all could tell “heh yeahh…” huda smiled after his friends were busy she drags jungkook to her friends they all smile and greet him he smiles and greets them back politely suddenly they starts acting like the FBI and ask personal questions you pull jungkook away ignoring them “sooo um yeah sorry but uh hi “ you say smiling a little at him he has a annoyed look removes his arm and walks away jisoo saw this and starts keeping her eyes on him

After the wedding we say bye I go to the car jungkook and I would ride in “hey um jungkook I need help…” the car was a little to small to fit you gigantic dress he rolls his eyes and helps you then closed the door after he went to the other side as he drove to the hotel ,once you two got their you go inside it was pretty nice it was at a very expensive hotel and was a couples suite your parents booked for you “I’m gonna head to the bathroom to change ….” He rolls his eyes “mkay..” he unzips the dress after left and you start to undress you then sigh and and speak “….jungkook!” You couldn’t believe you were about to say this

“What!” He yells form The bedroom. You sigh “….wanna do what all couples do on their marriage night …”

To Be Continued….