#also i just used like. very mild examples for things
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thank you so much for your response!! hearing from someone with both is really helpful for me!
what made me start thinking about it recently was some conflict with my siblings over the front door. i want it to be locked overnight; they like to go out on late walks, and as we all have adhd, they forget to bring their keys. i've locked them out and had to go open the door for them more than once now. i started thinking about why i wanted the door locked so badly. we live in a safe neighborhood, and we've generally left it unlocked most of the time for years and nothing bad has happened. but when it comes to it being locked overnight, i get incredibly anxious if i don't know it's locked (and i've lost sleep over it), and most nights i'll check it upwards of five times a night to make sure it's really locked.
that got me thinking about other things i do in sort of the same vein. i refuse to wash dirty dishes, for example, and if i even so much as open the dishwasher while it's dirty, i feel compelled to immediately wash my hands - and if they don't "feel" clean after, i'll wash them over and over in progressively warmer water until they do. sometimes i'll wash my entire forearms or, in extreme cases, take a shower and change into entirely clean clothes in the middle of the day, if i feel like i'm dirty.
i didn't know until recently that intrusive thoughts were also part of ocd, but i've had those much longer than any of these other symptoms - my intense worries about horrible things happening to me or people around me and my self-soothing routines in response to those worries were always categorized by my psychiatrists as part of my GAD, when i was younger.
i do also think, like you said, that a lot of the compulsive behaviors i experience have gotten worse in response to my adhd - i didn't really start obsessively checking the door until a few months ago, and the hand washing and other things have only been happening for a few years. i've definitely had these intrusive thoughts all my life, though, i just had no idea until literally this week that intrusive thoughts are one of the hallmarks of OCD.
and i guess the reasons i'm doubtful are twofold - first, that my symptoms didn't start getting worse until very recently, and secondly, that i always thought my compulsions weren't "bad enough" to be OCD, i guess? like, sure, i'm washing my hands maybe three or four or five times in a row after touching a dirty dish, and sometimes with water so hot that it burns me, but people with real OCD would be washing their hands like, a hundred times a day, right? (i do know that people with more "mild" OCD exist - i'm just struggling to convince my brain that i could be one of them đč)
in the end, i think that whether these symptoms are from OCD or not, they're causing disruption in my life, so i'm working on getting in with a psychiatrist to talk about them and get diagnosed for whatever this is. but it is really good to know that it can be comorbid with ADHD! my mom seemed to doubt that i could have OCD when i brought it up because my ADHD makes me forgetful and disorganized, as ADHD tends to do - she pointed out that my room is a mess and it doesn't bother me. but i also don't know if she really knows that OCD isn't necessarily about a need for organization or tidiness.
i've been considering recently that i might have ocd, but i'm like. not sure it's even possible to have both ocd and adhd? i've tried doing a bit of research on it but i can't find anything definitive - just that they have almost exact opposite patterns of brain activity. like, there's definitely something going on with me but i definitely, absolutely have adhd, so if it's not possible to have that and ocd then this must not be ocd??? idk
#sorry this is kind of long and rambly bleh#also i just used like. very mild examples for things#my worst triggers for the compulsions are really gross stuff that i don't rlly wanna just talk about with no warning lol#but yeah like. mom agrees that whether it's ocd or not it's not healthy behavior and supports me seeing a psychiatrist about it#i don't want to paint it like she's completely against this#she didn't even realize i was doing most of this stuff she just knew i wouldn't wash dishes and was frustrated with it#but now she's like well that makes more sense that you'd avoid that#she's just Old and her only exposure to ocd has been through like. media. which is notoriously bad at representation lol#rey rambles
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i know i would be a vastly different person if i didnt have to deal with hyper-empathy. i know i probably have things that i benefit from by being too empathetic. but its very hard not to wonder how happier i would be if i just didnt have to deal with that.
#wind howls#google search when do i stop caring about my parents happiness and start working towards my own ?#that just seems like such a mild example but i cannot overstate how deeply the thought is poisoning me.#i. dont necessarily envy having no empathy. some of my very dearly beloved homies have little empathy and-#i know how that can cause trouble for them ! i do not envy that. i just wish i could care about things a normal amount.#i also wish that like. hyper empathy was seen just a tad more seriously. i get that theres clowns out there who claim to be empaths and#whatever other bullshit they tried to pull off either for jokester purposes or to scam people. like i get that#its just so unfun when its on a clinical level. it feels like i am being haunted by everyone around me.#when do i start caring about what i feel ? when do i start caring about my own happiness ? maybe thats part of why im suffocating so much#god i need to move out. its going to cause me so much pain to move out. its going to hurt and relieve my parents when i move out.#theyre going to be so proud of me. theyre going to be devastated. its hard enough knowing that us immigrating here caused-#my maternal grandpa to develop diabetes from how heartbroken he was. i am so afraid to cause them pain. i know theyre not happy here.#what am i supposed to do ? when do i start living my life for myself ? is it when i move out ? is it when my parents pass ? i#dont even want to think about that. the paranoia from that already makes me feel ill on a good day.#i dont know how to remedy to myself. i feel sick and sad. i would like to know what it feels like to live for just myself alone someday#wurgh.#until then. i have editing class and drawing class tomorrow. ill try to focus on that for now.
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Birds of a Feather
pairing;Â joshua hong x f reader
genre; smut (minors dni), fluff, crack
summary; You and Shua work together on a petition to get rid of the bird kid and then you fall in love.
warnings;Â university au, alcohol, drug use (marijuana), food/drink, betting, bad jokes, borrowed memes, simp!joshua, jealousy/possessive nature, irresponsible use of a hot tub and a friendâs personal space, slight dom!joshua, mild dom/sub dynamics, pet names, sex health/birth control talk, unprotected sex, breast play, pinning/man handling, dirty talk, oral (m & f receiving/giving), 69, scratching, crying, size kink implied, exhibition kink implied â as always Iâm sure there is something Iâve left out.
w/c;Â 14.3k and some change
a/n; first of all thank you so so much to my dear @onlyhuis for proofreading this and thank you for literally being the reason it exists. this is based on a true story â names have been changed for privacy and itâs not completely true but bird kid should find a new place to live. thank you to @wonwussy for helping me come up with an amazing title, also without june, @highvern, @shuadotcom, and @horanghater just know this fic would have sucked majorly. thank you so much for helping me figure out my shit and adding so much to this.
before continuing remember reblogs are incredibly important and please read how to support me here
Joshua rubs the sleep out of his eyes as he leans his forearm against his door, looking down at the cute girl standing in his dorm room. You were holding a clipboard and had a look somewhere between serious and annoyed on your face.
âSorry, didnât mean to wake you up.â
You hadnât had the chance to meet every single resident in your hall but today you were making some very interesting discoveries. For example, apparently Eros lived just five doors down and he slept in late. Clearing your throat, you look down at your clipboard in an attempt to hide how shy his gaze is making you feel.
âIâm Y/N; would you sign my petition to evict the bird kid? I know that sounds harsh but just to get him to, like, get his own place off campus with his bird.â
His lips pulling up into a small grin, Joshua watches you start to ramble about your cause as you tap your pen against the paper attached to the clipboard. It seems you have several signatures so far. He had heard about this bird kid and he had also heard the bird in question several times.
âSure, Iâll sign it. Anything to get him to stop letting the damn thing use the water fountain as a bird bath.â
Joshua watches as your eyes lift towards him again as he agrees with you. With the clipboard securely in his hands, you scoff in agreement, lifting your hands to express how important your argument was.
âRight?! Itâs gross. I drink out of that fountain. I mean, I used to...â
Nodding, Joshua signs his name and offers you back the clipboard before resting his shoulder on his door frame. You watch his smile pull to one side before he furrows his brows and gestures over his shoulder.
âMy roommate is still passed the fuck out but Iâm sure he will sign too. Swing back by later and catch him when heâs actually breathing.â
Pulling the clipboard to your chest, you press your lips together, trying to keep your eyes on the manâs face even as you feel them being drawn to where his t-shirt was straining around his bicep. Clearing your throat, you lean back a bit and glance down at his name, whispering it to yourself before nodding and daring to look back up to find Joshua still watching you.
âOkay⊠Iâll do that, Joshua.â
Turning towards the next door, you pull your eyes from his handsome face even as Joshua leans out of his doorway to watch you, lifting his hand to wave.
âGood luck with your petition, Y/N. See you later.â
Groaning into his drool soaked pillow, Lee Chan forces himself to turn over and look towards his roommate, who was standing in the doorframe watching the hallway. He liked Joshua; if anything, the man was more like a brother than a roommate at this point but he was talking far too loudly for a Saturday morning.
âThat has to be a girl if you are acting like a simp this early.â
Rolling his eyes, Joshua shuts the door behind him, turning towards the younger man and shooting him a look before reaching for one of the bottles of water and tossing it towards him. Despite usually having great eye to hand coordination, Chan hisses in pain when the bottle manages to meet his chest instead of in his hands.
âAnd? Your point? Drink your water; Iâm sure you have one hell of a headache.â
Chan wasnât going to argue with Joshua on that point. He did have a headache that could rival all other headaches. He couldnât remember much of the night after their friend Seungcheol had shown him where the punch bowl was and challenged him to a âdrink off.â
Reaching for the pain medicine on his nightstand, Chan groans, trying to open the bottle as Joshua watches, only to sigh and take it from his hands, doing it for him. Muttering a thanks, Chan takes the bottle back, leaning back onto his bed to take the medicine, looking up at the ceiling.
âWho was the girl?â
Pursing his lips, Joshua falls back on his bed, trying to hide the small smile on his lips, thinking about the short interaction with you and how cute you had been. It wasnât like anything had even happened or that there would be anything that would come from it but it was nice meeting a new neighbor so to speak.
âUh, she said her name was Y/N. Sheâll be back around later. Told her youâd sign her petition.â
Chanâs brows furrow at Joshuaâs words as he lifts his hand to wipe at his mouth, water starting to run down towards his chin.
âWhat? Why would I do that?â
âBecause itâs not that big of a deal and youâll agree with it. Itâs about that dude who has a bird. Something about getting him to move off campus with it.â
Making a face at the mention of the bird, Chan feels his headache behind his eyes, even thinking about the squawking that could be heard late at night and early in the mornings.
âYouâre right. Iâll fucking sign it. Iâll forge names. Iâll help the son of a bitch move.â
Taking back your clipboard once more, you smile at the girl who doesnât seem to know when to stop talking. You were happy she agreed with your cause but you didnât need to know every other complaint she had filed over the past month with Seungkwan, the RA.
âTotally, I get it.â Gesturing with your thumb over your shoulder, you offer her one last tired smile, âIâm gonna head back the other way, I have a couple of places I need to get on the way back to my room.â
âYeah, sure. Oh, Y/N! When you talk to Seungkwan, you know when you file the petition... mention the water pressure again.â
Groaning under your breath, you just give her a thumbs up, hearing her yell bye at your back as you scurry off in the opposite direction. The more distance you put between her and you, the air feels lighter until you look back at your clipboard and read Joshuaâs name, seeing your little star next to his name.
You werenât sure why this man was making you so nervous â besides his good looks â but as you stood in front of his room, reading over the whiteboard attached to it, you blew out a breath. The messages on their board were cute, some funny, but for the most part, you could tell they were from friends.
I fuckin won last night you owe me dinner - Cheol
rescheduled studio for tuesday - jihoon (donât call me and bitch)
Lifting your hand, you knock on the door next to a worn sticker of a tiger that someone had tried to peel off but failed at doing so. You swallow hard, running your thumbnail along the pad of your index finger as you wait, beginning to think that he or his roommate were out until you hear hushed voices and the sound of a thump like something hitting the floor.
Joshua throws one last look at Chan, who rubs the back of his head from the floor next to this bed, muttering an ow, before the younger man pushes himself back to his feet. He hadnât said anything he thought was all that bad, just that Joshua looked like an excited puppy hearing a knock at the door. He hadnât been wrong; Joshua had jumped up and started towards the door, only to stop looking panicked and check his hair in the mirror on the back of the door before Chan had spoken up.
Opening the door, Joshua takes a breath before licking his lips and smiling at you as if nothing had happened at all. Your eyes move past him to the other man, who grumbles, rubbing his ass as he finally gets back on his feet and looks towards the door to meet your eyes for the first time.
âHey, is this a bad time? I can come back tomorrow or something.â
Stepping back and to the side, Joshua shakes his head as Chanâs eyes widen, finally getting a good look at you. It was starting to make senseâJoshua's reaction to you. If he had seen you first, he might be in the same predicament, but there was a bro code, and he was a good friend.
âNot at all, right, Chan?â
Hearing his name, Chan moves forward and gestures to you inside the room, quickly moving one of his shirts off the desk chair so you could take it if you wanted it.
âNope, all good with me. Shua said youâd be back, about the bird dude, right?â
Slowly walking into the room, you look around before looking down at the chair that had been cleaned off for you. It hadnât been your plan to come in and sit down but you werenât going to say no when your feet were aching after walking up and down the hall for hours.
âUh, yeah, thanks.â
Joshua watches you move to the seat, his eyes never leaving yours even as you close yours for a moment to relish in the feeling of the pressure being taken off your back and legs as you sit down. His eyes finally move to the clipboard in your lap as he moves forward, causing you to open your eyes to look up at him.
âLooks like you did well today. Can I see it?â
Humming out a response, you lift the clipboard towards Joshua, letting him take it from you along with your pen so he can turn back towards Chan, offering it to him. With the petition out of the way and Chan occupied with something else, Joshua grins, turning his attention back to you. His eyes move over your face and down the length of your body quickly as he tries not to make it entirely obvious.
âI tried; it was tiring. Iâll try to hit the other floors over the next couple days before I take it to Seungkwan.â
Nodding, Joshua purses his lips, gesturing his hands out towards you, causing you to look up at him as he does.
âWe are pretty good friends with Seungkwan. Might save you a little time. Iâm not saying to cheat the system but I can tell you are exhausted. I could also help you, you know, with the other floors.. Have some friends who live in those dorms.â
You werenât sure why Joshua was willing to help you but you werenât feeling like turning him down, even as Chan scoffed into a laugh while finishing filling out the petition. Glancing over his shoulder, Joshua turns only to jerk the clipboard from the other manâs hands, letting the two share a quick look before he smiles at you again, offering it to you much kinder.
âWhat do you think?â
Biting at your bottom lip, you glance towards Chan, watching him turn away from what was happening in front of him. Tapping your fingers on the clipboard in your lap, you smile and look away, feeling suddenly shy under Joshuaâs gaze once again. His playful laugh is the only thing you can hear over the blood rushing to your head as your cheeks and ears go warm.
âYeah, thatâd be great. I can give you my number so we can coordinate where to meet and stuff.â
Rolling his eyes, Chan groans at the puppy love display in the same room as him. Sliding past Joshua, the younger man mutters a bye to you as you watch him slip out the door, leaving you alone with Joshua, whose smile just grows.
âAwesome, yeah. Donât worry about Chan. Heâs dramatic.â
Eyes still following Joshua, you watch him pick up his phone from his nightstand, returning to offer it to you. You can only shake your head, a small laugh slipping from your lips as you tap on his phone icon and add a contact for yourself after making a mental note of his artsy blue wallpaper on his phone.
âHeâs okay. I mean⊠I donât know what he was being dramatic about but Iâll get out of his hair so he can come back and chill.â Smiling up at Joshua, you offer him back his phone and say, âI like your wallpaper, itâs pretty.â
Youâre pretty, is the first thing Joshua thinks of but he just smiles back at you, taking his phone and biting at his bottom lip.
âThanks. Uh, heâs fine, really. Donât have to worry about him, heâs a big boy. Just not used to seeing pretty girls in his dorm room, especially ones heâs not allowed to flirt with.â
You had started to take a breath so when Joshua speaks and says that you swallowed the breath, it gets stuck in your throat. Leaning forward, you cough, lifting your hand when he steps forward, asking if you are okay. Furrowing his brows, Joshua moves to take out a water bottle, opening the lid before squatting down in front of the chair and offering it to you.
âYou sure youâre okay?â
Nodding, you take the water, taking a sip as Joshua watches you carefully. You were fine but you felt like an idiot. Your face was on fire from the coughing fit and embarrassment. How were you going to explain that you had just choked on air?
âNo rush⊠ Take it easy. Another sip of the water.â
Lifting his hand, Joshua pushes your hair back, getting a good look at you and checking to make sure you were actually going to be okay. He could tell you were flustered and obviously embarrassed but there was nothing, in his opinion, that you needed to be embarrassed about.
âIâm alright. Itâs stupid⊠I just tried to take a breath and it didnât go well for me.â
You watch as Joshua smiles at you, his eyes kind and understanding despite the awkward situation. Dropping his hand to his knee, Joshua bites at his bottom lip once again as he tilts his head, studying you before nodding.
âBeen there before. Feeling a bit better?â
Sitting back, you nod, taking another sip of the water as Joshua offers you the lid, letting you put it back on the bottle.
âYeah, Iâm good now. FuckâŠIâm really great at first impressions.â
Standing up to let you do the same, Joshua takes in a sharp breath, watching you move towards his door. He knew he had just met you but he already didnât want to let you go. He wanted to get to know you more and he wasnât sure if just helping you with the petition was going to be enough.
âI, for one, am thoroughly impressed. Iâll see you tomorrow.â
Turning back to Joshua, you smile, letting him pull the door open, leaning his shoulder against it much like he had earlier in the day. You were staring at him again, letting your eyes move from his face, studying his lips, and moving down to his chest and over to his arms.
âYeah, uh⊠Iâll text you in the morning. Have a good night, Joshua.â
Leaning his head back against the door, Joshua grins to himself, having known you were checking him out just as much as he had been doing the same to you. Maybe he had a shot at this.
âYou too, Y/N.â
Y/N: I know itâs early but I was hoping to get started on the petition in about 30 mins on the second floor. You still wanna help?
The ding of his cellphone caused Joshua to groan before he reached out for the device, smacking at the nightstand a few times before actually grabbing it. Normally he would have ignored the message but today he remembered that he had texted you last night, making sure you had his number.
Cracking an eye open to look at his screen, Joshua winces at the brightness, blinking a few times before he is able to read the message and look at the time. It was 9 a.m., and he had gone to bed around 3 a.m. Of course you didnât know that but he also wasnât going to tell you no.
Joshua: Absolutely. Can we get coffee? đ
The message makes you smile as you sit on your bed, your stuff in a semicircle around you as you try to get ready for the day. Usually you werenât too concerned with how much you dressed up around campus, especially on the weekends during the day, but today was different. You were going to be hanging out with Joshua Hong.
After your less than ideal first meeting with him, you decided to do some sleuthing to find out more about him, so now not only do you have his last name, but you also know his major, music, and that he has released a few songs on SoundCloud. You had even looked through his Instagram and swooned over many of his pictures, being overly careful not to like any pictures so he wouldnât know you had been looking.
Y/N: Ofc my treat đ
Still laying in bed, Joshua smiles at your message and the emoji. Were you flirting with him? A man could dream, couldnât he?
Joshua: We will see who gets their card out faster.
Joshua had done his own investigation of you the night before but there had been less social media and more word of mouth as he sat in his friend Vernonâs dorm watching a few get more drunk than necessary. Lucky for him, Jeonghan had been at the little get together and he seemed to know everyone or at least something about everyone.
âY/N Y/L/N, sheâs a lit major. Really fucking cute, but you probably know that.â
That he did know, but if you were a literature major, that meant you were smarter than him.
âAs far as I know, sheâs available. Check her Instagram but... Iâm pretty sure.â
Now, walking towards your dorm, Joshua was doing just thatâscanning through your most recent pictures. Most were just selfies that he was having a hard time not liking, but a few had friends leaning against you, smiles on both of your faces. What he didnât see was anyone who seemed like a romantic interest.
Tilting your head, you watch as Joshua looks down at his phone as he walks the few doors towards yours as you wait, your bag slung over your shoulder. He seemed distracted and it wasnât until you felt your phone vibrate in your hand and looked to see that shuahong95 liked your photo that it made sense.
Pressing your lips together, you feel the warmth spread over your cheeks as Joshuaâs eyes widen slightly and he hisses under his breath before looking up to see you looking down at your phone. You had already seen the notification. Fuck it, he thinks to himself, shaking his head. Joshua presses follow on your profile and slips his phone into his jacket pocket as he finally reaches your door.
The second notification pops up that shuahong95 has followed your Instagram, and you swallow hard, looking up as you see his shoes standing in front of you. A bit of a deer caught in the headlights looks plastered on your face; you can only offer him a small smile as he leans his head against the wall next to your door and smiles back at you.
âIt was a cute picture. Couldnât help it.â
Shaking your head, you laugh quietlyâa bit manically, as if you were trying to figure out what reality was anymoreâslipping your phone into your pocket. Joshua just watches you gauge your reaction, finding it even more adorable as the seconds tick by.
âIâyeah? ThanksâŠyouâre really...â
You didnât know what you were saying but it didnât seem to matter to Joshua, as he grins at you for just letting it happen. When you sigh, letting the words die on your lips, Joshua laughs, reaching up to tap his finger on the tip of your nose, causing your cheeks to burn hotter than you thought they could.
âAdorable. Coffee?â
Right, coffee. You had said you would treat him to some before you got started with todayâs work. Reaching up to touch your nose where Joshuaâs finger had just been, you smile and look away to help calm yourself before clearing your throat and gesturing towards the exit.
âSure, Iâm surprised you were awake when I messaged. You seemed like a late sleeper yesterday, both you and Chan? Is that his name?â
Nodding, Joshua walks beside you, his eyes moving between you and where he is headed. You were exceptionally pretty today. It wasnât just the fact that you had clearly put work into looking the way you did but that you were smiling and you were almost glowing in the morning light.
âMmhm, Lee Chan. Heâs been my roomie for a year. Heâs a good kid.â Smirking, Joshua lifts his hand to rub at the back of his neck as he continues speaking, âYeah, weekends we tend to party a bit so I usually sleep in a bit more than I would during the week but for you, I'll roll out of bed.â
He was very obviously flirting with you. You werenât an idiot but what you were was flustered and smiling like an idiot. Turning your face toward Joshua, you press your lips together and nod as he opens the door, letting you go out first into the crisp morning air.
âSeems like you are enjoying university life a bit more than I am, Joshua Hong.â
You dare to look back up at the man as he smiles at you for staying by your side as the two of you make your way towards the local coffee shop located on campus. Clearing your throat, you furrow your brows and lift your finger to scratch at the scrunched up skin as you start to ask the question that has been plaguing you since the night before.
âUm, so yesterday you said something about Chan and it made me curious as to what you meant.â
Tilting his head, Joshua purses his lips, trying to remember what he had said about his roommate before you continue making his cheeks warm up this time.
âSomething about how heâs not allowed to flirt with me? What did that mean? Does he have a girlfriend or something⊠or is there another reason?â
There were two thoughts running through Joshuaâs mind the moment you finished your question. One, did you like Chan? Surely not⊠ You had spoken like five words to the kid and you had been flirting with him all morning. Two, how was he going to do this without just saying it? Fuck it.
âI donât think heâs dating anyone. I donât keep up with it, honestly. The last party, he was trashed and hanging out with some pretty freshmen but thatâs not why I said it.â
Stopping in front of the stop, Joshua squints a bit from the bright sunlight, making you smile as he tries to think of the right words before he finally continues.
âI said it because he knows that Iâm interested in you. Thereâs a code after all.â
You had half expected it but at the same time, there was no way you could have been prepared for someone like Joshua Hong to tell you that he was interested in you. Granted, you didnât know each other all that well but you had eyes and desires. Pressing your lips together, you muffle a small happy sound, just nodding and looking down at the sidewalk as Joshua grins, reaching out to tilt your chin back up towards him.
Joshua watches your lips part slightly as your eyes meet his once again. You canât help but lean into his touch as his thumb glides across your jaw for a few seconds before he finally lets go of your face and takes a breath. You had that deer caught in headlights look on your face again but Joshua was just enamored by you.
âAfter you.â
Your eyes finally move from the spot where Joshua had been standing when you feel the warmth from inside the shop and smell the coffee wafting towards your nose when he opens the door. Willing your feet to move, you whisper a small thank you to him as you slide by him and into the shop, glancing around it, seeing only a few of the tables occupied by students with headphones covering their ears as they stare at laptops.
Lifting his hand, Joshua places it against the small of your back as he quickly waves the other at the barista, who grins at him tiredly. You had seen the man several times when you had visited the shop but never really introduced yourself to him. Glancing at his name tag, you make a mental note of Vernon as Joshua and him share a quick secret friend handshake, making your head spin. You werenât aware that people still did that.
âWhatâs up, man? The fuck you awake for?â
Vernon speaks before glancing to Joshuaâs side and at you before he makes a sound like an oh and grins at his friend like he knows some sort of secret. Did all of his friends know he was interested in you?
âGoing to help Y/N with her petition. Which, by the way, while we are here, do you mind signing it? Itâs the one I told you about, the bird kid.â
Nodding, Vernon moves behind the counter, already starting on a drink, which you assume to be Joshuaâs as the man asks him the question. You just watch mesmerized as the steam plums in front of his face and Vernon just leans back and smiles.
âHell yeah. Always down to support a worthy cause. Really awesome for you to do something like that Y/N.â Taking a breath, the barista furrows his brows, snapping the equipment into place before he grins at you. âHey, Iâm Vernon Chwe, by the way. Iâve seen you around but weâve never really talked before. You know what you want to drink?â
Joshua watches you smile at his friend. It was a kind smile and something that he was really starting to like about youâjust how kind you seemed to genuinely be. The petition was funny on the surface but underneath it, you were legitimately trying to make a difference in the comfort level of those around you.
âItâs really nice to meet you, Vernon. Thank you for that, seriously.â Glancing behind him, you look over the drinks before pursing your lips and finally nodding, âCan I get an iced mocha?â
The man gives you a thumbs up, letting you turn back to Joshua, whom you find already looking at you like you hung the stars in the sky. You canât help but laugh a bit, shyly glancing away from him and behind you just to make sure he was actually looking at you.
Joshua laughs, reaching forward to take your arms and pulling you back towards him as you look for someone else. There was no one else. There was only you right now and you were so damn cute, he was starting to lose his mind.
âWho are you looking for, pretty girl?â
The heat rises along your neck and across your cheeks at Joshuaâs words as your laugh gets caught behind your lips. You hadnât expected that either. Shaking your head, you whine a bit and finally sigh, meeting Joshuaâs eyes as his fingers gently run along your forearms.
âJust who you might be looking at like that but...â
âYou. Iâm looking at you, silly.â
Vernon rolls his eyes and grins while watching his friend flirt with you. He had seen Joshua flirt with girls before but never like this and out in the open. It had been at parties with the intent of having a quick hookup. This seemed like something different.
Sliding the drinks across the counter, Vernon clears his throat, managing to get your attention first. You smile at him and step away from Joshua to take out your wallet as Joshua shakes his head and reaches over you to tap his phone against the card reader, hearing the beep.
âTold you weâd see who was faster.â
Joshua watches as you talk to each person you meet as if youâd known them for most of your life. With your clipboard in your hands, you extend it towards the boy as he nods along with your words, agreeing with everything you had to say before taking your pen to sign his name. You were good at thisâtalking to people and standing up for something.
Smiling at the boy, you wave at him before he glances at Joshua quickly to just keep it friendly with you, wondering if the person following so closely behind you was your boyfriend or not. Though you were beginning to wonder if that was something he was trying to shoot for or not, he had been standing closer and closer to you. His hand rested on the small of your back as he held on to your half finished drink, letting you talk to people about your petition.
âAwesome, so just like... Seven more doors this way and this floor is done. Are you sure you arenât getting bored?â
Offering you your drink by just putting it up to your lips, Joshua watches you laugh and lean in to take the straw into your mouth so you can take a sip as he shakes his head. This was the opposite of boring to him. Yeah, the task wasnât the most interesting thing in the world but the company was perfect.
âIâm great and I know at least three of the guys who live in dorms up ahead so I will actually be helpful today.â
Shaking your head, you lick your lips, drawing Joshuaâs attention to them as he furrows his brows, finding himself wanting to kiss them. Joshua knew that was too fast. He knew it would probably freak you out, but, dammit, you were driving him crazy.
âYouâve been so helpful all day; are you kidding? Youâve made this fly by. Yesterday, I felt like I was doing this for like 30 hours straight. This is actually enjoyable with you hanging out with me.â
So you liked hanging out with him too. He was for sure letting that go straight to his head. You watch as Joshuaâs pretty lips pull up into a smile and his cheeks get fuller, causing his eyes to almost close and make perfect half circles. You were starting to love that smile. It was a real smile and it made butterflies flutter around in your stomach like they were at a rave.
âItâs my pleasure, seriously. Iâd like to hang out with you more⊠You know, not just doing this stuff. Maybe dinner? Movie? My friendâs are actually having a party next Friday. If you arenât, ya know, doing something else.â
Joshua Hong was asking you out. Fuck, the butterflies were flying up to your throat and you were feeling a bit queasy with how excited you were. Grinning, you almost skip in place before starting down the hall towards the next door, causing Joshua to laugh and move to catch up with you.
âY/NâŠWhat do you say? You wanna go with me? Maybe... see where this goes?â
Feeling his free hand on your bicep, you look back at Joshua, biting at your lip as you just nod before meeting his eyes. You almost didnât trust yourself to say anything but the look on his face made you feel like you were melting. You hadnât had anyone look at you like that before. You knew it was university and that people were meant to fall in and out of love but you could see yourself falling for Joshua hard and quick.
âYeah, I'd like that.â
Sliding his hand along your arm, Joshua moves his fingers to your wrist, letting his fingers loosely wrap around it. He nods and takes in a breath, fighting the urge to either move his hand down to yours to take it into his or to lean in the few inches it would take him to claim your lips for a first kiss. Not like this. Not while you were standing in a dingy hallway while other students pushed past you, both trying to get to one of their only working showers.
Letting go of your arm, Joshua smiles and gestures forward, letting you take the lead once again until you reach the first door and he reaches past you to knock on it hard in a pattern that makes your head tilt. This had to be one of his friendâs dorms. One look at the whiteboard in front of you confirmed it as you read a message from Chan stating that âChoi Seungcheol is a huge dickâ only for âis aâ to be marked out and âhas aâ to be written under it in someone else's writing.
When the door in front of you opens, you instantly avert your eyes from the shirtless man in front of you, who curses and darts off to the side, muttering Joshuaâs name under his breath. Standing behind you, Joshua slides his hand over your hip and laughs as he watches Seungcheol look around for a shirt, tugging it over his head before he comes back to the door.
âWhat? You always answer the door half naked like a caveman? Heâs dressed now, Y/N; nothing will be burned into your memory for eternity.â
Sighing loudly, Seungcheol rolls his eyes and throws up his hands in confusion, gesturing to you before you look back at him and offer him a smile. You were cute; you were really fucking cute and Joshua had his hand on your hip. Fuck. You were off the table.
âHi, I am so freaking sorry about that. I should have maybe said something, but I didnât, ya know...â
Shaking his head and waving his hand, Seungcheol makes a scoffing sound and gestures for you both to come in.
âItâs fine. It's not like you saw anything important. I was just shirtless; just didnât expect to see a pretty girl at my door with that knock. Just expected an idiot.â
Hearing his friend call you a pretty girl, Joshua shoots Seungcheol a look only to get back a shrug and a gesture in your direction as if to say, Well, am I wrong? You glance around the room and smile at Seungcheol once again before putting your clipboard against your chest and taking a breath.
âIâm Y/N, but Joshua just said that... Â uh Iâm hereââ
âShe needs you to sign a petition. You know that fucking dude with the bird who gives it a bath in the water fountain?â
Furrowing his brows at the whiplash of words being spit at him, Seungcheol looks from you to Joshua before laughing and nodding. He did know which guy Joshua was talking about. He had taken a video of the kid giving the bird a bath in that fountain and sent it to Seungkwan, which resulted in a bit of backlash on the kid but not as much as it should have.
âYeah, of course. Whatâs the petition gonna do?â
Moving forward, you offer the clipboard to Seungcheol, explaining your cause and how it would work as Joshua watches you with his friend. Once again, he was mesmerized by you and how easy it seemed to be for you to pick up a conversation with just about anyone.
Taking the pen and clipboard, Seungcheol sits on this bed and works on filling it out between glaces between you and Joshua, a smirk lifting at one corner of his lips.
âSurprised to see you fighting for a cause, Shua.â
Narrowing his eyes, Joshua waits to see the proper lines signed before he steps forward, taking it from Seungcheolâs hands with a curt thank you.
âYou shouldnât be. Y/N was doing this alone⊠I just thought she could use some company.â
That explained it. The hand on the hip, him following you around like a love-sick puppy, that look in his eye when you moved anywhere in the room. Joshua Hong was whipped.
âAh, I see. Just helping, Y/N out. What a good boyfriend, sorry friend. What are you?â
Groaning at Seungcheolâs words, Joshua rolls his eyes and moves to grab your hand as you try to defend him and yourself, only to be guided towards the door and out of the room as the man behind you laughs and apologizes.
âShua! Iâm kidding. Youâre cute together, thatâs all. Donât go away mad.â
Slamming the door behind him, Joshua leans against the wall, glancing at you as his fingers start to slip from yours, only for you to close your fingers around his as you look up at him.
âYou did ask me out, so heâs not that far off. I mean, you're not like my boyfriend, you know...â Joshua grins as you lower your voice, like it's a secret, when you finish your sentence. âYet, we did say weâd see where it could go. Donât be mad at your friends for teasing just because of me.â
Running his fingers along yours, Joshua sighs softly at your words before nodding. He couldnât help but let his eyes move along your face, enjoying being this close to you. He could imagine how much he was going to enjoy getting to know you better and spending more time with you when there wasnât some task in the way.
âYouâre right. Iâm not mad at him and Iâm certainly not embarrassed, I just donât want you to be freaked out by it or anything. Donât wanna scare you off.â
With your bottom lip caught between your teeth, you let it go only to smile and shake your head as Joshuaâs thumb moves in a circle along the palm of your hand.
âIâm not scared.â
You were scared as you stood in front of the mirror you and your roommate had haphazardly leaned against the wall. Your dress was short and your boots were borrowed. You could hear music quietly playing from Yejiâs laptop as she gives you a once over and a thumbs up.
âYou look hot.â
Whining, you tug at the end of your dress and meet her eyes in the mirror as you tilt your head.
âYou sure you wonât come along? I could use backup.â
Shaking her head, Yeji gestures at her laptop and laughs before offering you a sympathetic pout. She had already given up so much of her time today to help you get ready, not to mention letting you borrow her favorite boots to complete your outfit.
âI have to finish this paper before midnight or Professor Byun is going to drop me from the class. I wish I could come with you. It sounds like a hell of a lot more fun than a stupid research paper.â
Still whining, you move to Yejiâs desk, wrapping your arms around her from behind and granting yourself another laugh as she holds your arms and leans back against you. You had gotten lucky with your roommate. While so many others ended up switching after a year, you and Yeji had stuck together, and she was your best friend.
âIf you finish it and want to get out of the room, just come out to the party. Joshua said there will be lots of people there and it will go until early in the morning.â
You feel Yeji nod against your cheek before she sighs and pats your arms to get you to let her go.
âI promise, but I also want you to just have a good time. Donât worry about me. Go hang out with your boyfriend.â
Warmth was creeping along your cheeks again as you stood to your full height and moved to pick up your jacket, pulling it over your arms. Muttering, you pick up your phone, glancing over your messages, seeing one from Joshua about picking you up soon.
âHeâs not my boyfriend yetâŠâ
Even with the words spoken behind a whine and under your breath, Yeji can make them out and she laughs, feeling endeared by you. It was nice to see you happy and focusing on more than just school for once.
âYet.â
A knock at your door causes you to take a deep breath as Yeji squeals excitedly, turning in her chair. She had met Joshua in passing a few times over the week but this felt different even for her. This was your first date with him, officially.
Joshua grins at hearing the quiet, happy squeals behind the door as he waits. He had been excited about this all day, to the point that Chan had left for Wonwoo and Mingyuâs house well in advance, leaving him in the dorm by himself to pace.
Taking in a sharp breath when the door opens, Joshua canât help the way his eyes move over your face and then the length of your body in your outfit. He wasnât sure what he had been expecting but you had just surpassed them all.
âShitâŠâ
Yeji grins at the interaction. She watches Joshua stare at you, stunned, and how you shy away, whining at him to stop it. Shaking her head, Yeji sighs and finally waves at Joshua, managing to catch his attention.
âHave a great time. I expect her home no later than 9 a.m.â
Laughing, Joshua canât help but shake his head. He wanted to tell Yeji that he could keep that promise but right now he wasnât sure he wanted to.
âUhâŠIâll do my best.â
Your cheeks were on fire at the exchange between your best friend and Joshua. What were they even trying to do? Groaning, you mutter a goodbye to Yeji as she giggles, telling you to have fun before slipping your hand into Joshua's, pulling him away from the door as you shut it behind you.
âYou look gorgeous.â
Linking his fingers with yours, Joshua looks over at you as he walks with you out into the chilly night air, feeling you step a bit closer to him. He could see you smiling even under the dim streetlights. Your smile could light up rooms so it was doing wonders for him right now.
âStop it. You look great. How am I going to keep my date to myself?â
Laughing, Joshua shakes his head and leans his head back to look up at the sky as the two of you walk towards frat houses. You could both hear several parties already in full swing but none of them were where you were headed.
âI promise Iâm not leaving your side. Besides, Iâm more concerned that I might have to fight for you. When I invited you to this, I didnât really consider who could be there or even where it was going to be.â Joshua sighs a bit dejected before glancing back over at you. âMost girls look at some of my friends, like Mingyu or Wonwoo, Cheol and I watch as our dates find someone else to talk to.â
Furrowing your brows, you come to a stop, forcing Joshua to do the same or to drop your hand. Looking back at you, he sees the disappointed look on your face and sighs once again, moving back to stand in front of you.
âDo I look like most girls to you, Joshua Hong?â
His smirk pulls at one side of his lips as Joshua watches you and how serious you look standing in front of him. He hadnât said what he had to get some sort of sympathy from you, just as a true statement of what he had experienced in the past, but clearly you werenât having any of it. Shaking his head, Joshua leans forward to brush his lips across your cheek before he speaks against your skin.
âNo, you donât.â
Closing your eyes, you try to stay still when Joshua kisses your cheek. You hadnât expected it but you werenât against it either. Smiling, you open your eyes as he starts to lean back, only for his eyes to drop to your lips before they lift once again to your eyes.
âIâokayâŠSo donât say things like that. Iâm going with you.â
Your voice was quieter than you intended but Joshua just smiles, tightening his fingers with yours as he leads you up the few steps into the house that his friends were renting. The house wasnât massive by the standards of the other major frat houses but for the available rentals, Wonwoo and Mingyu had lucked out.
Inside, you glance around, noticing a few familiar faces but many more that you had only seen while passing around campus. Joshua grins, sliding his hand from yours in place of putting it around your waist, keeping you close to him as he guides you through the house and towards the living room, where he waves at a tall, handsome man holding a red solo cup.
âShua! You made it!â
You find yourself smiling at the manâs infectious enthusiasm as he moves through the smaller crowd to pat Joshuaâs back and smile at you, lifting his brows.
âCourse I did. UhâŠGyuâŠâ You watch Joshuaâs brows furrow as you look from him to the other man, waiting for the introduction before he gestures at you. âThis is Y/N. Y/N this is Kim Mingyu.â
Offering his hand, you take it, letting the larger man encompass yours briefly before he looks back at Joshua and laughs.
âWowâŠI owe Jeonghan fifty bucks. Fuck.â
Shaking his head, Mingyu walks towards the kitchen, leaving you and Joshua watching him a bit confused before the man at your side sighs and slides his arm back around you.
âDonât know what that was about. SorryâŠClearly, he pre-gamed.â
You simply smile and lean in to kiss Joshuaâs cheek, feeling the warmth spread across his face under your lips, before you pull back to meet his eyes.
âDonât worry so much. I think they are just happy to see you here with somebody. If I had to take a guess.â
Furrowing his brows, Joshua swallows hard, his eyes moving over your face and down to your pretty smile before he lets out a breath and a laugh.
âYeah? Think thatâs what's going on?â
Nodding, you try to act as nonchalant as possible, feeling Joshuaâs fingers pressing into your hip.
âMhm. Between that and what happened yesterday with SeungcheolâŠâ
Smiling, Joshua just shakes his head, trying to keep himself from doing anything stupid or too quick, as you bite at your bottom lip and give him such a sweet look of innocence. Seungcheol furrows his brows as he wrinkles his nose to the feeling of smoke tickling it. Vernon tries to pass the bong back over to him while Chan mutters to himself, sitting between them and looking at his laptop.
Joshua leads you through the living room, where Seungcheol looks a lot more relaxed than the last time you saw him. He grins at Joshua, pointing at him before letting his lips fall into a pout.
âTook you long enough.â Using Chanâs arm to sit up, Seungcheol groans to himself as he whines out his complaint to Joshua, knowing that usually he would be the buffer between him and Chan. âDo you know how much shit I have had to listen to Chan spew while I waited on you to get your ass here?â
Glancing from Joshua to you when Joshua lifts his hand and starts to speak, Seungcheol grins, finally seeming to realize you had joined his friend.
âShitâŠY/N. You came.â Pushing at Chanâs leg, Seungcheol pats a few times at the couch, getting lost in what he is doing before he looks back up at you and smiles a bit lopsided again. âSit down.â
Shaking his head, Joshua watches as you laugh amused with high Seungcheolâs antics as Chan whines, having his laptop pushed on his lap towards Vernon, who was engrossed in his phone watching tetris competitions.
âWeâre gonna mingle a bit first, Cheol. She might want a drink.â Glancing towards you, Joshua furrows his brows, realizing he hadnât even asked. âDo you want a drink?â
Smiling at him once again, you glance around the room and towards the kitchen, before biting at your lip and pulling his attention towards it again.
âSure, hang out for a minute. Iâll get them.â
Joshua starts to tell you heâll get drinks but you let go of his hand and head towards the kitchen, where Mingyu yells your name, granting himself one of your pretty laughs. Seungcheol tilts his head with lidded eyes, letting his gaze lazily move down your legs before glancing up at his friend.
âSheâs hot.â grinning, he leans his head back against the couch with a hazy smile. âIf you donât date her, Iâm gonna shoot my shot. Still canât believe you got her to show up.â
Slapping the side of Seungcheolâs head, Joshua listens to the man laugh as he leans forward to take another hit, letting out an exhale of smoke as he finally leans back on the couch. Lifting his brow in half annoyance and amusement, Joshua looks back towards the kitchen, seeing you smile at something Jeonghan was telling you. He wasnât sure how he had managed it either.
During the week, Joshua tried to keep himself busy and on track but on the weekends, he allowed himself to enjoy everything that university life had to offer. He had good friends with cheap alcohol and decent weed. Joshua watched you snake your way back through the crowd, two drinks in your hand and a smile on your face, and Joshua realized now he had you to add to that list.
âI literally have no idea whatâs in these cups. Jeonghan said it was juice and Soonyoung said it was death.â You laugh sweetly and Joshua swoons, not knowing if it was the atmosphere getting to him or you as you tilt your head and speak before you take a sip of one cup. âI like your friends, Joshua.â
Taking the other cup, Joshua takes a sip, recognizing the mixture of alcohols and various fruit juices as a Yoon Jeonghan special before making a face. You donât seem to hold the same displeasure on your face but Joshua knows that can only mean that you might drink too much of it and regret it later, he would just have to keep an eye on you.
âLike it?â
Nodding, you tip back the drink, and Joshuaâs suspicion is confirmed as you lick your lips, emptying your cup, and glancing back at the kitchen, causing him to laugh.
âListen, there is enough alcohol in this to fuel a jet. One more and then we maybeâŠwander out to the hot tub.â
Glancing towards the sliding glass doors, you try to see where a hot tub might be but you arenât able to see it from the living room, making you furrow your brows. Instead of questioning Joshua, you just laugh and tilt your head, feeling a bit shy about what you have to say next.
âYou didnât tell me to wear anything for a hot tub.â
He hadnât. Joshua smiles, glancing down at his drink before taking a bigger gulp and nodding to your words.
âI didnât wear anything either. We can just wear what we have... or figure it out.â
Your face was on fire but it could be the "juice.â You needed more courage to see where this was going. With your smile growing in size, you canât help but laugh. Nodding, Joshua nods along with you before you feel your fingers slide along his before you head back towards the kitchen.
Seungcheol makes a face, trying to read what Chan was pointing at his laptop. He was trying hard to get him or Vernon to look at the screen and read what he had been writing for most of the night.
âNo, âcause listen. If I say she breasted boobily, does that sound hot?â
Vernon blinks at his phone before looking over at the laptop and reading over the paragraph that Chan had been working on for over an hour before sighing heavily.
âI donât know, man. Itâs fanfiction. I think you can say whatever in hell you wanna say.â
Joshua furrowed his brow, a bit confused at the conversation, as he stood next to the couch. He wasnât sure he had just witnessed as he watched Seungcheol stare blankly at the screen for a few more seconds before the man shifts his gaze back over to him and grins, seeming to remember he was there.
âSit down, man. Hang out.â
Glancing towards the kitchen, where you were laughing at something Wonwoo was saying and back to Seungcheol, Joshua lifts his hand to scratch at his cheek before shaking his head. Seungcheol was starting to pout again and attempting to make more room on the three seater couch when Joshua shook his head.
âMaybe later.â
Patting Seungcheol on the shoulder, Joshua listens to the man whine as he walks towards the kitchen with his eyes fixed on you. Sliding his hand around your waist, Joshua feels you jump slightly, your eyes moving from Wonwoo to him as you smile.
âHey, you werenât coming back.â
You could feel your cheeks burning at Joshuaâs attention but also the other eyes in the room as Wonwoo smirked at how jealous Joshua was acting.
âI was just talking to Wonwoo. He was telling me that you make some mean french toast apparently.â
Smiling, Joshua leans to kiss your cheek before glancing at Wonwoo and tilting his head.
âCamping stories?â
Wonwoo just grins, lifting his cup to his lips to take a sip before nodding and furrowing his brows.
âThinking about planning another trip for the summer. Maybe Y/N will come with us this time.â
The idea of it made Joshua excited and nervous as he glanced to judge the expression on your face. You seemed intrigued as you clinged to his side, your smile once again lighting up the room.
âSounds fun.â
It was sounding more and more like you were planning on sticking around with Joshua and his friends. Holding on to you a bit tighter, Joshua takes in a breath and gestures over his shoulder, Â causing Wonwooâs eyes to follow his hand before his friend meets his eyes again, only to smile.
âIt does; hey, do you mind if I borrow the hot tub?â
A louder laugh from your right makes you smile as Mingyu slides back through the kitchen, picking up a fresh cup and pouring more of the juice into it as he shakes his head to answer Joshuaâs question.
âGo for it, man. Just keep cum out of it.â
You make a face at the wording but Joshua just laughs, causing Wonwoo to meet his eyes and for Joshua to grow a bit more serious. Taking a step towards the doorway, Joshua picks up a smaller bottle, watching Wonwooâs head tilt and his mouth start to open when he just grins and winks before turning to also pick up two shot glasses.
âOkay, got it. Hot tub is for relaxation only.â
Glancing around the backyard, you take the last sips of your drink as Joshua mutters to himself before making an âah haâ sound. You gasp, watching strings of lights light up across the deck and into the trees near the hot tub, where Joshua stands grinning at you, looking pleased with himself.
âWhen itâs warmer weather, they throw outdoor parties or leave the doors open. I helped them hang up the lights.â
Joshua watches you glance around the lights, a smile on your face, before you once again look at him, causing his head to spin. He knew he was a goner when it came to you. You could tell him to jump on one leg and bark like a dog and heâd probably do it for you without many questions at this point just because you smiled at him.
Moving back towards the hot tub, Joshua whispers âtadaâ before showing you the smaller bottle of tequila and shot glasses he had commandeered from the kitchen. He grins as you laugh, moving in a bit closer to him to tilt your head. You watch as he sits the bottle on the side of the hot tub before he moves back in touching distance as you narrow your eyes playfully.
âAnd where did that come from? Just happen to keep bottles of tequila on you at all times?â
Wincing Joshua closes one eye as if heâs trying to think of something, feeling your hands sliding along his sides. Your laugh causes Joshua to smile and meet your eyes even as your fingers tug at the end of his shirt so your fingertips can brush over his bare skin just above his jeans. You had more courage and you werenât going to let it go to waste.
âIt was sitting on the counter. Wonwoo might yell at me later for taking it but all is fair at a party. Donât have it on the counter if it's not up for grabs.â
Sucking in a breath, Joshua tilts his head as he feels your fingers sliding under his shirt along his back, lifting his shirt. You looked almost too pretty under the twinkling string lights and feeling your warm fingers running along his back as the chilly air also bit at his skin was intoxicating.
âYou are killing me, Y/N.â
Laughing softly and sweetly, you trail your fingers further up his torso, making Joshua groan as he finally gives in, leaning back only enough so that he can tug his shirt up and over his head, giving you what you want. Your eyes move from his handsome face down over his toned chest and down to his stomach. You couldn't help yourself as you smiled, running your thumbs along the top of his v-cut feeling. Joshua takes in a deep breath, leaning his head back to look up at the night sky.
âYou are so handsome, Josh.â
Closing his eyes, Joshua groans quietly to himself before looking back at your face as you give him that same innocent look that had been driving him crazy for two days. With his thumb and forefinger on either side of your chin, Joshua holds your face in place as he leans in to brush his lips over yours for the first time, listening to the sharp intake of breath get caught in your throat. It wasnât a full kiss but it made you want to chase after one, and the way his fingers were holding you in place, all you could do was whine and press your nails into Joshuaâs sides.
âPatience, baby.â
Plush lips caress yours and a large hand slides along your neck as Joshua finally gives into you, taking not only your breath but every thought in your head with his first kiss. You moan softly into his mouth as his other hand slides along your hip and down to grip at your ass, causing your brows to furrow.
Smiling against your lips, Joshua pecks at them once more before sliding his hand from your ass to your leg to slip your dress along your thigh as you look up at him.
âThis okay? I figure you donât want to get your dress wet. â
Nodding, you shrug out of your jacket, letting Joshua work the tight dress up your body and over your head, leaving you in your bra and panties as he works to kick off his jeans. You find yourself watching him shyly as you pick up your clothes and put them into a chair, your borrowed boots safely tucked away underneath as Joshua smirks at you.
You were stunning. You werenât wearing anything special. There wasnât any lace and nothing matched but it didnât need to. It was perfect because it was you and he wanted more. He could just imagine being between your legs or kissing your breasts as he watched you move back towards him and the hot tub. Feeling your hand trembling in his as he helped you into the warm water, Joshua knew you needed a bit more time.
Taking in a deep breath, you smile as Joshua leans to press the button, causing the hot tub to start running and the jets to cause the water to bubble and roar around the two of you as he settles in near you. Steam rising from the surface, you watch him through it as he leans his head back for a moment before reaching for the bottle he had taken, cracking up the seal to pour each of you a shot, offering you one.
âTo possibilities?â
Trying to hold back a laugh, you press your lips together and nod as Joshua laughs at your reaction. He knew it was a silly toast but it was what he wantedâa world full of possibilities with you. Tipping back your glass, you make a bit of a face to the taste and feeling of the burn as the alcohol runs down your throat. Joshua follows suit, letting out a breath before nodding and putting his glass back securely on the side.
You could feel that your head was lighter, your inhibitions were low as the drinks from the night had all begun to mix in your system. Joshua watches as you smile brightly, putting your glass very carefully beside his before you turn to look at him curiously.
âTruth or dare, Joshua Hong?â
Chuckling as you use his full name, Joshua moves his hand to run it along your arm as he starts to enjoy the buzzed feeling as his head tilts to your question.
âTruth.â
Biting at your lip, you canât help but wrinkle your nose at his answer. You knew you were the same way when it came to truth or dare but you had pictured Joshua as a dare kind of guy.
âMmkay. What was your first impression of me?â
Lifting his brows, Joshua laughs once again, realizing this was how this game was going to go. You watch as he reaches for the bottle of tequila, pouring another couple of shots, allowing you to grab your own. Hissing at the taste, Joshua narrows his eyes at you before smiling and pouring another shot a bit nervously.
âI opened the door and thought, Damn, what a pretty girl.â
Watching you smile and tilt your shot glass back, Joshua canât help but smile as you giggle a bit to yourself. Reaching forward, Joshua wipes a bit of tequila from your chin, causing you to whine and lean into his touch.
âAnd I still think that, âcause you are so fucking pretty. Truth or dare.â
Feeling almost too warm, you lift out of the water a bit, only shifting yourself closer to Joshua, who takes a deep breath when your chest lifts from the water briefly. Moving his eyes from your breasts to your face, Joshua presses his lips together when he feels you almost sit on his lap as you purse your lips, thinking hard before speaking.
âIâll pick truth too.â
Turning your attention back to Joshua, you are almost surprised to see him so close. Starting to apologize, you laugh, feeling Joshuaâs hand slide around your hip to your back to keep you in place.
âYouâre fine, right where you are. In factâŠâ
Sliding his legs apart, Joshua watches as you dip your chin under the water, feeling him shift his leg under your ass so that you can rest comfortably on his lap.
âNowâŠIâm curious whatâs on your mind right now. So thatâs my question. Tell me what you are thinking.â
Flexing your fingers, you try to figure out where to put them but feeling Joshuaâs fingers sliding along the top of your panties at the small of your back, you canât help but whine before resting your arm around his neck and your other hand against his chest. The feeling of being close to Joshua comes naturally, and you start to feel thankful for the water surrounding you, knowing that you were becoming aroused from even just sitting on his lap.
âRight now? UmâŠlots of things.â
Joshua grins, his free hand daring to caress your leg under the water, feeling your legs part instinctively for him even though he doesnât do more than run his thumb along your inner thigh.
âYeah? Tell me three of them.â
Sighing, you furrow your brows and shift on his leg, causing Joshua to rub his lips together at the feeling. He liked this too much, having you this close to him. Feeling your body press up against his and having your fingers walk along your skin as you thought of your answer.
âI was thinking about the camping trip and how that might be nice.â
Joshua smirks as you seem to stall in telling him anything he might actually want to know. It wasnât that he disagreed with the sentiment; it was that he knew you had more on your mind. Nodding, he watches as you smile and avoids his eyes, letting your voice drop in volume so that you can barely be heard over the roar of the jets.
âAnd I was thinking about when you kissed me. About how I wanted you toâto do that again.â
Grinning, Joshua lets his eyes move to your lips and back up to your eyes as you stumble over your words. Leaning forward, he rests his lips against yours without applying pressure as you whine his name, pressing your fingers against his chest.
âOne more, Y/N.â
You couldnât think like this, not with Joshuaâs lips hovering over yours and his breath warm against your face. Closing your eyes, you try to let yourself melt into his touch, enjoying the feeling of his fingers moving over your skin as you finally answer him.
âJust want you to fuck me. Thatâs whatâs on my mind.â
Joshuaâs lips press against yours firmly, his hand sliding from your thigh to your waist to pull you towards him tightly. He wasnât being careful anymore, not when he knew what you wanted. Groaning into your mouth, Joshua furrows his brows, feeling you adjust your legs over his so that you are straddling him and are able to roll your hips down to grind over his hardening length.
âFuckâŠâ The word is drawn out on a breath when Joshua pulls back from kissing you to lean his head back at the feeling of your hips rolling over him. âBaby, that feels good. Feels too good.â
He was calling you baby again and your head was spinning. You smile, leaning to press a kiss to the column of Joshuaâs throat when itâs exposed to you, drawing another groan out of the manâs mouth. Hands tighten on your ass and Joshua laughs out your name in disbelief, moving his head so he can meet your eyes.
âYou are gonna make me break my promise about cum in the hot tub.â
Fingers dig into your skin under the elastic of your panties as Joshua takes a deep breath, calming down before he nods and glances over his shoulder towards a door, considering his next action.
âWe are going in there. I wouldnât wanna fuck you in here anyway. I wanna take my time with you.â
Biting at your lips, you laugh softly, sliding off Joshuaâs lap as he stands and helps you do the same. You furrow your brows once you are safely back on the patio, feeling the cold air biting at your skin while watching Joshua collect your clothing and his own.
âWhat room is that? Should I get dressed?â
Leaning to kiss your shoulder, Joshua grins against your skin, shaking his head as he shivers just as much as you from the cold air. You feel him usher you towards the door, letting you open it, happy to find it unlocked.
âItâs Wonwooâs room. We are just gonnaâŠyou know, borrow it.â
Blinking a few times in the dark as Joshua trips over a few things, muttering to himself before he finds a lamp, you smile, finally able to look around as he moves to the other door, locking it.
âAnd Wonwoo wonât mind if we borrow his room?â
Joshua drops the last of the clothes onto the floor before moving back over to you and sliding his hands up your wet back towards your bra clasp as he shakes his head. You canât help but laugh as Joshua mutters about Wonwoo's understanding needs. You knew it was a weak argument but you werenât going to go against it.
Running your fingers through his hair, you moan Joshuaâs name as you feel his fingers tug at the straps of your bra, freeing your body from the garment. The room was much warmer than it had been outside but chillbumps were still spreading across your skin.
âYou are so fucking beautiful.â
Joshua shakes his head mostly in disbelief at himself thinking about how you had been living on the same floor as him just five doors down all this time and he had clearly been an idiot or blind. Scratching his nails along the back of your arms, Joshua leans down to kiss the top of each of your breasts with a low groan to the soft feeling of your skin against his lips. He was already addicted to you and he had barely had a taste.
âPleaseâŠJoshâahâŠdonât tease me.â
Smiling against your nipple, Joshua lifts your right breast, kneading at the soft mound before taking the bud into his mouth and sucking hard, feeling you arch against his mouth. Walking backwards, you hear Joshua whine, feeling you start to pull from him, causing him to have to hold on to your waist to keep your breast in his mouth. You donât stop walking until you feel the bed behind your knees and you whisper to Joshua that you need to lay down.
âMm, okay, wait. Donât get the bed wet.â
You smile as Joshua moves to one knee, sliding his hands up your thighs and finally to your hips to tug your panties down your legs. Closing your eyes, you take a breath, letting it out slowly, feeling his lips move over your thighs until his hands reach your ankles.
âLay down, baby.â
Helping you down, Joshua tilts his head, taking in every inch of your body as he feels his cock throb jerk behind his boxers. You were perfect in every single way. He wasnât even sure what he wanted first. Lifting his hand, Joshua runs his hand over his mouth as your hand barely traces the curve of his shaft as you wait for him with a questioning look on your face.
âJust trying to think where Wonwoo might keep his condoms.â
When you smile, a quiet laugh falls from your lips. Joshua canât help but mimic your smile, sliding his fingers into the top of his boxers and working them down his hips as you watch. Your brows lifting, you take in a breath before licking your lips, obviously hungry for what was in front of you, watching his cock bounce back up at attention as his boxers fall to the floor.
âIâŠIâm good. I have an IUD and I get tested. Unless you just want one.â
Taking a deep breath, Joshua takes one more long look at your body before focusing on your pretty face and shivering at the idea of having you raw. There was no way he was going to say no to that.
âOkayâŠNo, Iâm good. I get tested too⊠ Fuck, are you sure?â
Nodding, you lift your hand out for Joshua as he rests his knee between your legs, feeling the wet warmth of your pussy against his thigh. Lacing his fingers with yours, Joshua pins your hand to the bed next to your head as he lays over you, smiling against your lips and feeling your hips roll over his thigh.
âYou are so wet, baby.â You whimper against Joshuaâs lips, his teeth catching your bottom lip and dragging it out just slightly before he lets go with a groan. âI wanna eat you out so fucking bad but I also wanna fuck this mouthâŠâ
Gripping his bicep hard, you dig your nails into his skin hard enough to leave small half moon divots, causing Joshua to hiss at your reaction to his words. Smirking, he presses kisses on your jaw up to your ear, speaking against it causing chillbumps to once again spread across your skin.
âYou like that? When I talk dirty to you? Tell you what I wanna do to you.â
Nodding, you bury your face against Joshuaâs hair, feeling embarrassed as he laughs and presses kisses on your neck. Leaning back on his elbow, Joshua looks down at you, watching you try to hide from him until he pulls his hand from yours to turn your face back towards him so he can run his thumb over your lips, causing him to groan quietly. He knew what he wanted.
Laying in the middle of the bed on his back, Joshua smirks at you as you sit back on your feet, watching him get comfortable. You smile as he slides the pillow from under his head and lifts his hands, beckoning you towards him, only to tell you to stop when you start to crawl on top of him.
âUh huh⊠ I want you on my face; let me see your ass.â
His hand slides along your leg as you whine, unsure, but Joshua just nods and helps you get in position with your knees on either side of his face as you rest your hands on his chest. Running his hands along the back of your legs up to your ass, Joshua groans at all he can see in front of him before he grips your hips and pulls your pussy down to his mouth, running his tongue flat against you to get his first taste.
You gasp loudly, your nails digging into his chest, feeling his tongue running along your folds and pressing into your entrance for just a taste of the arousal that had already dripped from you. Leaning your head forward, you find yourself sliding your hips back and down over Joshuaâs face and closer to his tongue as he groans, lapping at your clit, before sucking hard and making you cry out his name.
With each passing moment, you find yourself sliding further and further down Joshuaâs body until you realize you could give him exactly what he wanted. Wrapping your hand around Joshuaâs cock, you twist your hand and feel him pause between your legs, his fingers pulling you back towards his face as he lifts his head up to suck your soft folds into his mouth.
âJoshâŠfuck. Oh my god⊠ Iâm getting so close. I want your cock, okay?â
You couldnât hear what Joshua was saying as he groaned against your pussy; he was too far gone and too drunk to care but anything you wanted was yours. The moment you wrap your lips around his tip, Joshua has to let his head fall back and take a deep breath as he mutters your name.
A warm, wet mouth envelopes him as your tongue presses against the underside of his cock right up until the point that you canât take a single centimeter more of Joshua before you pull back with a gasp. Tears start to run down your face even as you smile, feeling Joshuaâs fingers parting your folds so his tongue can get right back to work, driving you closer and closer to your orgasm that was right on the cusp.
With Joshuaâs cock buried in your mouth once again, you moan around him, only pulling back when you feel the overwhelming pressure take over you as your orgasm rips through your body. Resting your forehead against Joshuaâs stomach, you whimper his name as your thighs shake almost violently at the feeling of his fingers slowly sliding from your tight walls and along each side of your clit.
Large hands run along your thighs and up over your back as Joshua tries to soothe you before finally managing to move you to his side so he can pull you into his arms and press his lips to yours. You furrow your brows to the taste of yourself on his lips but smile at the feeling of his hand gliding along your skin to your thigh, pulling your leg across his hip to keep you close to him.
âYou okay?â
Nodding, you rub your lips together and laugh under your breath, feeling Joshuaâs nose nudge against yours before he kisses you softly once more. You felt like jelly but you felt good. You wanted more. You needed him completely and you knew that he still needed more.
Joshua hums against your cheek, feeling your hand slide along his stomach and down towards his cock, resting against his lower abdomen. Your smaller hand felt good and your mouth had felt even better but he had felt your pussy around his fingers and on his tongue and he was craving it on his cock now. Kissing your cheek, Joshua smiles against your skin while dragging his nails along your thigh as you lazily stroke him and speak just above a whisper.
âFuck me, Joshua.â
You feel him nudge his nose against your cheek as he rolls you on to your back, moving his body between your legs. You knew he was a large man but underneath him, you felt even smaller and vulnerable in the best ways. Arching your back, you moan softly, letting Joshua slide your leg once more along his up to his hip, causing your wet folds to separate once again.
âI was planning on it.â
Joshua sucks in a breath, watching your eyes close on a silent moan as he slowly works his cock into you for the first time. You were tight and the stretch was evident on your face. Your brows furrowed tightly, and you took a deep breath only when Joshua bottomed out and stopped to allow you time to adjust.
Resting his lips against your shoulder, Joshua groans, trying not to think about how tightly you are squeezing him or how much he already wants to cum as you scratch his back. Instead, he just takes a deep breath and turns his head towards you to make sure you are okay. You blink tears from your eyes at how good the stretch feels and nod to Joshuaâs words, begging him to move, lifting your hips in order to get him to do something.
âShh, fuck baby. IâmâshitâŠokay. I was gonna go slow.â
Shaking your head, you run your fingers through the back of Joshuaâs damp hair at the nape of his neck, pulling his lips back to yours as you speak between kisses, feeling his hips finally meeting yours and sending your head towards the headboard with each deep thrust.
âNo, I want it. Feels so fucking good. Please, Joshua.â
You were going to be the death of him. Hissing out a groan on your lips, Joshua moves to rest his forehead against yours as he gives you what you want and thrusts into you hard and fast, making you cry out his name. The sound of the music from the party was still loud enough to keep him from wondering if anyone might hear you but at this point, his pride was starting to hope maybe someone would. He wanted them to know how good he was making you feel.
âYesâhaâŠfuck! Joshââ
Joshua had fucked other girls and had them scream his name but no one else had made his head swell and spin like you did. Every time you said his name, Joshua felt like he was floating. Â He felt like he was sending you to the moon every single time he buried his cock in you. Even if that wasnât how you felt, he knew that you felt like heaven and he could die happy after being between your legs and in your arms.
Feeling your walls tighten around him, Joshua groans your name, burying his face into the crook of your neck. He could tell you were getting close just from the way you were squeezing his cock but you were also pushing him over the edge. He had been skirting it and doing his best not to let go too quickly but with one last scratch of your nails along his back and a soft moan from your lips, Joshuaâs body shakes as, with each thrust, he pushes his cum back into you.
âPleaseâŠâ You listen to Joshuaâs whine into a moan as he leans back to watch his cum drip out of you with each thrust. âCum for me?â
Feeling his thumb press against your clit, rubbing small circles against the swollen bundle of nerves, you cry out Joshuaâs name as your thighs begin to shake when he sends you back over the edge, spiraling into your orgasm once again. Joshua licks his lips, watching your face this time as you cum, his eyes fixated on your lips and how they fall open when you moan so loudly that heâs certain someone had to have heard you.
Carefully slipping from you, Joshua lays on top of you, enjoying the feeling of your fingers running through his hair as he catches his breath. He could hear your heart racing and how it was steadily starting to calm down as the minutes passed. He could hear your breath evening out and he could feel the dampness of your skin against his cheek.
âI need a shower. FuckâŠâ
Your laugh makes Joshua smile against your chest before he leans back to look up at you, leaning to press his lips to yours once and then again furrowing his brows. You could see the question on his face and feel his apprehension as he took a breath.
âIâyeah. Same. Are you wanting to leave? I can take you back to your dorm. I â cause you know this was fun. Iâd like to see you again. You know more often...â
Smiling, you lift your hand to run your thumb along Joshuaâs jaw as he stumbles through his words. You knew he was a smart man and by all standards, he ran with a pretty popular crowd at the university, yet he was acting like some high school boy with a crush after fucking you into the mattress.
âYeah? That mean you wanna date me, Joshua Hong?â
Joshuaâs lips pull up into a smile at your words before he lays his face flat against your breasts, realizing how stupid he must have sounded for you to have to even ask that. Of course, he wanted to date you. This was the most cliche thing he could have done but he wanted you. Lifting his head, Joshua nods and sighs, gaining back some of his confidence.
âYeah, hell yeah. I wanna date you. Wanna take you out as much as possible and keep you in my bed the rest of the time.â
Laughing, you shake your head, feeling your cheeks warm at Joshuaâs words this time. It all sounded perfect but there were a few hiccups in his plan.
âMm, I accept, however... Â I donât think Chan would want me in your bed that often.â
Scoffing, Joshua starts to lean up on his elbow, ready to explain just where Chan can shove his opinion, when a loud knock at the door startles you both, causing you to gasp. Wonwoo narrows his eyes at his bedroom door, trying the knob once again, only to groan.
âWho the fuckâShua! Are you fucking in my bedroom?â
Widening his eyes almost dramatically, you watch Joshua hold back a laugh as he slips out of bed and starts tossing you some of your clothes as he slips his own on.
âOf course I am. I appreciate your donation to the cause, Wonwoo.â
Another loud fist to the door makes you stifle a laugh as Wonwoo groans in frustration, leaning his forehead against the door.
âYou son of a bitch. First you stole my good tequila and now you fuck in my bed. You owe me liquor and sheets. I am going to kick your ass!â
Pointing at the door that the two of you had used to come into Wonwooâs room, Joshua whispers for you to sneak out that way as he carefully unlocks the other door and tiptoes towards you.
âYeah yeah⊠ You know Iâm good for it, man!â
Slipping out the door, you squeal when the other door opens and Wonwoo yells Joshuaâs name, only for Joshua to slam the other and grab your hand, telling you to run. With a smile on your face, you keep up with him as he helps you weave through the side yard and out onto the street that you had taken to get to the party. Pulling you into his arms, Joshua laughs as you do, glancing back to make sure Wonwoo wasnât following you, only to hear his phone go off with a barrage of texts.
Wonwoo: I will fucking kill you.
Wonwoo: You are dead to me.
Wonwoo: I hope she is at least dating you now, asshole
Wonwoo: You are literally disgusting and I hate you
Joshua runs his thumb over the screen with a smirk as he catches his breath before holding his phone up to get a good angle of you both. Leaning in, he kisses you softly as he takes a few pictures, a smile pulling at the corner of his lips.
Shua: [pictures attached]
Shua: Maybe Iâll put a ring on it too.
Wonwoo: đ€ą
© onlymingyus - all rights reserved. Reposting/modifying of any fic, or pieces of original writings posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations not allowed
#joshua smut#seventeen smut#svthub#svt smut#joshua hong smut#joshua fluff#seventeen fluff#svt fluff#joshua hong fluff#joshua crack#seventeen crack#svt crack#joshua hong crack#joshua x reader#seventeen x reader#joshua hong x reader#svt x reader
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Hello hello! Can you write twisted wonderland perfect + lilia if that's not to muchâ with gn reader similar to frieren?? (â ââ áŽâ ââ âżâ )
iâll choose a life where my hand never leaves yours
syn. wise old elf, basically.
gn!yuu + frieren!yuu , no use of y/n, youâre referred to as yuu.
book 7 spoilers . not proofread
RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS
as someone who works hard to make sure his magic meets expectations and above, seeing you flawlessly just do and perform spells perfectly makes you someone heâs willing to admire.
(though your somewhat lazy nature confuses him a tad.)
he is someone who rushes things, especially before his overblot.
when the parties need to be perfect, when your students need to be exemplary, and when you need to be a perfect example, itâs hard not to rush things.
you, being a long-lived elf, having lived longer than even diasomniaâs vice housewarden, know very well that taking it slow helps. a lot.
âRiddle,â you start, reaching down and resting your hand on his shoulder. The tension rushing through the redheads body lessens when your hand finds its way to him, and he- subtly but clear to your eyes, leans into your touch and slightly melts into his chair.
Riddle turns his head and looks down to meet your eyes, putting his hand on yours on his shoulder, tugging it down gently and intertwining your fingers. âMh?â He hummed, a bit too preoccupied with all the papers on his table.
He had the Heartslabyul studentsâ grade reports, the plans for the unbirthday party coming up, letters from his mother, letters from cheânya, a half-written request to the headmaster for funding for further unbirthday parties, andâ
âTake it easy,â you say, rubbing small circles onto the back of his hand, and the thoughts about all the work he had to do, even if only for a moment, rushed out of his mind with a sigh.
LEONA KINGSCHOLAR
you probably remind him of malleus- it doesnât mean he hates you, he just.. feels some mild dislike for you sometimes.
in what situation would you two even encounter each other?
probably in the botanical garden, actually.
or somewhere outside, which is most likely where he is, considering he isnât in classes.. at all, basically.
heâd appreciate how slow you take life in.
itâs calming, he doesnât know how or why.
it just feels nice to be around you, he guesses.
âUgh!â Leona groans, immediately sitting up from his laying position on the ground of the botanical garden.Â
Who the *đ* stepped on his tail?
By pure instinct, he took a sniff of the air, andâ
It wasnât a smell he recognized. Some parts of it were familiar to him, but he didnât recognize even the species of this audacious person.
⊠What the *đ*
He looked up to see someone who didnât look a day above 14 or so, but also happened to have a trait common with fae folk- pointed ears.
So, itâs some fae who decided to step on his tail and not look where they were going, huh?
Heâd deal with this promptly.
(After getting terribly humbled by your magical prowess, heâs decided that no, he did not deal with it promptly.)
AZUL ASHENGROTTO
best believe he is desperate for your magic.
he sees you use a spell that only Lilia Vanrouge himself can vaguely recognize, and he realizes your knowledge is something he needs.
you can never know too much, isnât that true?
(youâd like to disagree.)
a subtle sharing of your wisdom teaches him that there is much he doesnât know, but also much heâd better not know.
just like riddle, azul struggles with pacing his, well, life.
tell him to take it easy. thereâs no rush, especially considering you both have higher lifespans than regular humans.
what do jade and floyd think about you?
âŠ
itâs for the better that you donât know.
KALIM AL-ASIM
now that iâm writing this, i realize that a lot of the housewardens canât give theirself a break.
is kalim one of those housewardens?
.. i guess weâll never know.
itâs not that heâs stressing himself out, heâs just a bit.. energetic.
again, again, you calm him down.
slowly, slightly. but as time passes, the change becomes obvious.
in more ways than one.
â.. Oh my Sevens?â Jamil lets out with a gasp, looking at..
Looking at the Kalim Al-Asim⊠sweeping the floor. After a party. Half of the room was clean. And Jamil hadnât even gotten his broom out.
Is this what Cater meant when he said he âexperienced culture shockâ?. Because, oh, boy, Jamil is shocked.
âKalim-â He didnât even get to finish the sentence he wanted to say. âKalim, who told you to do this?â. Yeah, Jamil would sometimes daydream about Kalim doing all the work, but itâs not like he actually expected Kalim to do work.
Kalim, grinning as if he didnât just rock Jamilâs world, said, âYuu told me that hard work after relaxation and vice versa is the best! Iâm doing hard work! Itâs fun!â
Fun? Jamil incredulously thinks before getting his wrist grabbed by Kalim.
Did Kalim only think it was fun because he hadnât done it before? Yes. Is it fun? To Kalim! And thatâs enough!
VIL SCHOENHEIT
imagine being able to look so incredibly young when youâre much older than even Leona, the oldest student disregarding the fae, hah.
haha.
is vil jealous?
âŠ
yeah.
forever youth, and even heightened magical prowess. vil thought heâd gotten used to it with the fae, but finding out there was yet another species similar?
it kind of lowkey makes his blood boil. why isnât it him that gets to be born like that?
anyways. vilâs someone who, finally, knows how to pace himself.
so, you can finally show another side of yourself.
the lazy side of you.
okay, lazy is a strong word.
It was a well known fact to all that Vil Schoenheit had a good morning routine. The first step was to wake up early.
He usually woke up at around 5:00, 5:25 if he was feeling a bit tired. Maybe even 5:30 if he was feeling bold.
Today, he woke up at 6:00.Â
Six in the morning. Much later than usual. The only question he has right now is how? His body clock had already been adjusted to waking up at 5:00, itâd been like that for a long time.
He, sitting up on his bed, looks beside him to see the small frame of another person, still asleep and long hair askew.
Oh, he thinks briefly, thatâs why.
IDIA SHROUD
genuinely, iâm so sorry.
he has knowledge of elves, which surprised you greatly. and when you asked where he found out..
what is an âahn-eh-meiâ supposed to be? why did shroud like it so much? and how is it, aside from old scriptures created by fae that may no longer even be alive, have some of the only mentions of elves youâve seen at all in this world?
you knew the elf race was dwindling and may even go extinct, but darn.
when you asked him to show you what those cute little cartoons showed elves as..
for some reason, his face- and hair!- went pink.
.. huh. weird.
i mean, it canât be that bad. right?
âOh my,â you think internally, âit is that bad.â. Idia, hair and face pink, holds his phone and points the screen in your direction. On itâs screen displays a.. big.. breasted, blonde haired, in- in such scandalous clothing.. a woman like that.
And she had pointed ears, just like yours. A bit smaller than yours, though.
Is this really what people in this realm think of elves? Itâs.. Well, you canât speak for all elves, you barely even know if more elves exist even in your own realm, but.. uh.
What you saw on the screen was a.. really interesting interpretation!
You donât even know any person this⊠lustful, in your own realm. And you especially donât know any elves like that. Itâs.. Odd.
MALLEUS DRACONIA
he is shocked. his world is shaken, heâs trembling in his boots, even.
someone older than even lilia.. really? truly?Â
the moment he makes it onto ramshackle the first time youâd arrived, heâd sensed a familiar presence.
familiar not in the sense that he knew the person behind it, but familiar as in it felt like someone old, wise.
it felt like a presence heâd felt before he hatched in the egg.
he wanted to rush to that presence, but..
he didnât want to scare you. especially not when your.. essence..? your essence made him want to lay his head on your lap, or cry on your shoulder, or share a cake with you knowing he wasnât alone.
not when your presence felt like a lullaby he remembers only vaguely.
LILIA VANROUGE
he is this emoji: đ±.
if heâs old, then what are you? a relic?
the him from the past mightâve felt threatened, concerned what someone of your age would want with him and his people.
now? of course, heâs still concerned at what youâd want with his family, but when he sees you talking calmly with his sons- even befriending malleus, he starts to appreciate you.
he kind of wanted to cry in joy after he saw malleus in the courtyard, having lunch with a friend!
heâd.. also.. sigh, appreciate you teaching him spells. đ..
he simply has to know the spell that makes a field of flowers! imagine the sleeping spots that silver would get to have!
#twisted wonderland x reader#disney twst#twst x reader#disney twisted wonderland#riddle rosehearts x reader#leona kingsholar x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#kalim al asim x reader#idia shroud x reader#malleus draconia x reader#lilia vanrouge x reader#. . my heart to yours
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I decided to have a go at doing my own redesigns because these three are my favourites and I love them very much. further notes + sources under the readmore (warning: lots of text). I did my best with the research, but if there's anything I overlooked, I'd really appreciate people letting me know :)
Tighnari:
My main source for Tighnari was this excellent thread, from which I looked up each item of clothing individually. Since djellabas tend to be quite long, and Tighnari needs mobility for forest ranger activities, I figured he would cut and re-hem the lower half. He also has a lot of clothing pieces that are traditionally multicoloured, but to keep his design cohesive I decided to use the same colours across different items, but using a larger palette of colours than I would usually. I like the bright colours on him a lot though!
There are also some minor details I just changed because I wanted to. The flower on his chest is now a nilotpala lotus, because I thought it was nice to include his acension material/the material he asks you to help gather. The dirt stains/scuff marks are because rainforests are muddy and I wanted the design to emphasise Tighnari being very practical and hands-on with his work (see also, the specimen belt).
Finally, I shrunk the magnifying glass on his back (because I'm pretty sure it's meant to be his first magnifying glass toy and that thing is very large for a child to handle) and gave him an undercut because it seemed right. Also, I merged his front and back trailing cloths into a scarf type of thing that he could wrap around his nose and mouth to prevent inhaling spores from mushrooms.
Collei:
COLLEI my beloved. I had a mild nightmare trying to figure out a specific source culture for her design, but nobody seemed to know specifics and her outfit wasn't matching with any traditional dress I looked up, so in the end decided to keep the overall look the same. Just in case I assigned her something else, but then it turned out I missed her actual inspiration.
Anyway, I made her shoes simpler (no fur, heels, and open toes in the rainforest seemed reasonable to me), and gave her shorts. I liked the green colour because it's pretty unique under a dark dress, and pairs nicely with Nahida's white dress + green undersides. Amber's tie stays, but I made most of her jewellery smaller since it felt a little clunky for a trainee ranger.
Her earring and necklace(?) are allusions to the Evil Eye and the Khmissa/Hamsa, both symbols of protection. Especially considering the fact they're meant to ward off evil, and very common across multiple MENA cultures, it seemed fitting for Collei to have them. Also, she has Eleazar scars, and I used the design for her stockings as inspiration for the combination knee braces (similar to those used for arthritis, since Eleazar also causes stiff limbs and I HC that people affected would probably still need some recovery support)/knee pads (in the case of a fall). I like the idea that Kaveh would have helped make them for her (tangent but the fic Here is the House explores similar ideas; it's really really good, I heavily recommend it). Finally, she has curly hair because I thought it would be cute.
Cyno:
Here's the thread I found for Cyno. The main critique was to do with the eras from which each aspect of his clothing drew inspiration, but I admittedly wouldn't be able to do much about this without a lot of research. One thing I did try and verify was the small strip of cloth on the left of his chest, and I found a few wall murals where the people seem to be wearing similar strips of cloth? (example here; rightmost figure) Therefore, I didn't remove it, but if someone wants to explain Ancient Egyptian clothing history to me I'd be really interested to hear it 6.6
I might iterate on the design in the future, but for now the changes are mostly HC territory. Cyno wearing his hair in locs (a protective hairstyle) makes sense for someone who does a lot of hiking after rogue scholars, and I also gave him quite old and faded top surgery scars because healthcare is canonically free in Sumeru (thanks for that information, al-Haitham)(though tbf Cyno makes bank anyway). I also adjusted the colours a bit, since Genshin tends to use desaturated shades for metallic elements.
I also considered giving Cyno more scars, but figured that it could indicate Hermanubis' presence that someone you'd expect to get injured a lot is relatively scar-free (i.e. some sort of godly healing factor/resistance to damage). However, we know next to nothing about Hermanubis, so Cyno having a lot of scars also makes sense. This paragraph is mostly just a cry for help cyno story quest 2 literally any more elaboration about the nature of Hermanubis' pact and the Temple of Silence.
Conclusion
I wasn't intending to write one when I started the explanations but this got REALLY long so if you made it this far, thank you so so much ToT please check out the links; the threads especially were a great resource, and I'm grateful that people take the time to make them <3 genshin's character design department are cowards but I'm glad I learned some new things through the redesign process
#FINALLY#IT'S DONE#I don't know why this took so long. maybe because I was trying new art style stuff#anyway I like how this came out!! my favourite guys#my main thoughts for each of them were like. tighnari <- kind of a chad. collei <- should get to wear shorts. cyno <- gap moe#<- i say having written 9 paragraphs about the development thoughts under the readmore. wahey#big shoutout to everyone who draws the archers ripped. you guys are inspirational#genshin impact#tighnari#collei#cyno#my art
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đđ đđđđ đđ đđđ (đđđ) !
jjk boys and their icks⊠because no man is perfectâŠ
jjk boys x implied fem!reader
cw : men being gross, slight nsfw in nanamiâs part, very mild misogyny if you squint in megumiâs part, this post was literally just so i could rant kinda
a / n : long time no see⊠not much to say other than iâve been busy !!! anyways hope you enjoy :)
yuji itadori - bad grammar
giving him the tamest one tbh because heâs such a sweetheart </3 idk why but i feel like he just has such shitty grammar⊠like heâs smart ! just not when it comes to grammar. for example, he mixes up his to, too, and twoâs, his thereâs, and donât get me started on your vs youâre :/ again heâs the sweetest boy ever ! itâs just the fact he probably failed his lit classesâŠ
megumi fushiguro - âfemalesââŠ
i was so close to giving this to satoru but i didnât cause he has shoko to hold him down, megumi on the other hand⊠look, i donât think heâd say it in front of girls, but to other dudes, yk ? and i definitely donât think itâs on purpose to try and be an asshole but it just happens. quickly unlearns it when he says it around maki though.
yuta okkotsu - referring to himself in third person
you guys know how elmo is like, âelmo wants to go to the park,â yeah⊠yuta does this. and no, itâs not ironically. he definitely thinks itâs cute too and sometimes it is ! but itâs to an extent. like itâs cute the first couple times where he is goes, âyuta loves you,â but then it gets weird and corny when heâs like, âyuta wants to get dinner,â like ermmmm okâŠ
toge inumaki - fish pics.
as someone who lives in those south i see these OFTEN. for those who donât know, fish pics are basically when dudes hold up fish they caught while fishing and post pictures of them holding it⊠i think the main problem with this to me is that a lot of very weird and racist men do it, so thatâs why i hate it. anyways iâm 90% sure he has an official art where heâs holding a fish ( i also didnât know what ick to give him ).
satoru gojo - his height is his whole personality
this shit irks me so bad omg. as someone whoâs short ( 5â0 ) and hates seeing other short people make their whole personality their height, itâs even worst when itâs a tall person. satoru is definitely the type to be like, âomg guysss i bumped my head otw hereeee iâm so tallll,â like no youâre just stupid ! he definitely has other icks but this was the main one i could think of⊠ik he gets on everyoneâs nerves.
suguru geto - says âmy badâ instead of âim sorryâ
another personal one tbh. i hate hate hate when people do this especially if itâs something serious. i remember one time someone pushed me in the mud ( i didnât fully go on, just my foot ) and i got mud all over my white shoes and they have the audacity to go, âmy bad,â like yeah it is your bad lmao. anyways, suguru def does this often especially to shoko. i feel like heâs pretty clumsy and say if shokoâs studying and he knocks over a drink onto her books heâll say âmy badâ and not even attempt to help her clean it up. like dude at least say sorry or something idk ???
nanami kento - calls his dick anything but a dick
âmy memberâ you are grown !!! say dick !!! he does it to be âclassyâ but like, he is pushing 30 doing this, just say dick. i also think itâs a shame thing ? idk probably hanging out with stsg for most of his teen years rotted his brain so he hates hearing really nasty stuff but he wonât even say penis half the time. like itâs really not that serious nobody wants to call your dick a phallus ( it was also really hard to give him an ick ).
choso - using đ„ș / đ„č
oh BROTHERRRR this one pisses me off. i hate both of those emojis in general but especially when men do it, itâs cornball behavior. like arenât you supposed to be fighting in wars ? stand up. but i donât think he has any ill intentions at all, honestly just picks emojis that represent his mood often. however he definitely uses đ instead of đ⊠sorry chosoâŠ
song : ick - lay bankz
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk x you#jjk headcanons#jjk hcs#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#yuta okkotsu#inumaki toge#gojo satoru#geto suguru#nanami kento#choso#yuji itadori x reader#megumi fushiguro x reader#yuta okkotsu x reader#inumaki x reader#gojo satoru x reader#geto suguru x reader#nanami kento x reader#choso x reader#makisoda :: jujutsu kaisen !!
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Hey! You're tutorial on drawing burn scars was really helpful. I've been trying to draw burns for a while and I could just never find a tutorial for drawing them, especially not one that showcased burns on multiple skin colors.
I have a question though, and I'm not entirely sure if you'll be able to answer it or point me at a good resource, but I figured I'd ask anyways.
In the guide you have some different types of burn scars listed (hypertrophic, keloid, and contracture). Do you know what causes each type to scar differently? Is it the severity of the burn? Or something else.
Again, thank you so much for the work you've done. No pressure to answer if you can't, that's totally fine. Have a good day/night!
Hi! Fair question!
As for the severity: 1st degree burns very rarely leave anything behind after they heal and if they do it's usually mild skin discoloration. 2nd degree sometimes leaves some scarring but it usually fades away after some time since it's partial thickness, but deeper 2nd degree burns can cause permanent scarring that'll generally be less severe than those caused by higher degrees and mostly be hypertrophic. Third degree basically always leaves scars of all kinds. There might be tissue loss, so parts like ears or nose can be gone. Fourth degree is defined as going all the way to the bone, so the place with the burn will often be amputated because well it's just bone left. In this way it doesn't really leave scars I guess? But the area that's left will usually have severe scarring of basically any type.
For location: Hypertrophic scars happen wherever but are more common in places where skin is tight rather than loose. Pressure garments are used to prevent the hypertrophy so if for example your character wore compression sleeves as prescribed on their arms but nothing on their chest, the scars would probably be much more visible (more thick, discolored, and probably more painful as well) on their chest.
Keloids tend to form on the shoulders, cheeks, chest, and most commonly ears, but there is not much room to get a keloid there when it comes to burns - often if there is enough damage for them to scar, there will be tissue loss first. Keloids also happen more often in people with darker skin because their formation has something to do with melanocytes. Some people are also just more susceptible to getting keloids and if you have one you have a higher chance of getting another. Because of this keloids are rarely removed because they tend to just come back.
Contracture scars tend to happen where regular contractions do - where things move around a lot. So joints, facial and neck muscles, and especially digits. Contractures get less visible with physical therapy, wearing things like splints, or surgeries (like z-plasty or just skin grafts/flaps) that loosen them up and/or allow for more range of movement.
Ofc this is more of a rough guideline than anything else, every scar can potentially form anywhere and from anything (I'm just mentioning what's the Most Typical) and it depends on what resources someone has available to them. I have scars on my torso that according to this theory would have a high chance of being keloids (none of them are) and two on my hand that shouldn't have turned into scars at all (but they did) and they're hypertrophic for some reason. So I'd keep it in mind but don't stress about it đ
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Be honest: do you think there are femboys who aren't just eggs?
Yes, and tbh I resent that their existence is questioned so much. And I know this is gonna be considered a Bad Take by many people I've fostered a community with, so uh. Yeah.
As a former femboy, and current dykey/tomboyish trans woman, gender nonconformity within your actual gender is an essential part of a trans or genderqueer identity. In a lot of ways, my transition goals are the inverse of being a femboy- I'm going from a feminine man to a masculine woman. And yet, the trans community doesn't question my feminimity as a masculine woman in the same places where many people would question the masculinity of a feminine man. And don't even get me started on where NB identities fit into all of this. This is largely coming from the same place where people are okay with women wearing pants, but men or AMABs in general wearing skirts is Bad (tm).
Like don't get me wrong. The caricature of the Bad Trans pushing all the femboys to become eggs is a wildly overexaggerated, and I've met many, many femboys online that used that caricature to excuse rampant transphobia. But. I hate that there's a but. But.... I literally experienced it myself many times during my femboy days, especially online. Here's a short list:
-Had a transmed bombard me with harassing messages and comments on reddit telling me that I was a "fencesitter" and I just needed to "fucking transition already and stop making trans people look bad"
-Had a trans woman I knew irl shove an estradiol pill in my face, and try to order me to take it, in front of a group of people I wasn't even fully comfortable presenting as a femboy to, until she was eventually asked by someone else to stop.
-Had several comments indicating that I should be force femmed in femboy subreddits
-Had many, many DMs trying to tell me I was a "failed man" that should just transition already
And to clarify- all of this is so, so mild compared to transphobia that myself and others face. But it is a very real thing that happens. To many femboys, I think this is the first time they've received any kind of queerphobia or questioning of their identity, so it feels far worse in their heads than it really actually is. And, to be fair, I think it mostly happens from the more gender binary minded cis community than it comes from trans people- but as I've said, I've had it coming from trans women both irl and online.
I've also tangentially noticed that it seems to be transmed adjacent. Not saying that this anon is, or others who try to encourage femboys to explore their gender, but there certainly is a correlation. If its difficult for you to acknowledge cis gender nonconformity, then its easy to see that extending to a lack of understanding of nonbinary people or others with different trans experiences.
Every time one of these things happened, it didn't put me any closer to transition. It made me feel unsafe. It made me feel on the spot, and scared, and almost outed.
I've said this before, and I'll say it again- if you want historical parallels to femboys, we have a perfect example in drag. Drag is performative, over the top femininity that has become its own artform, style, and means of expression in a way that is intrinsically tied to gender nonconformity. Being a femboy is also all of those things. And guess what? Many drag queens have used it as a way to explore their own gender and realize that they're trans. There are also many who are cis, and remain confident in that identity. Is the percentage of trans people among people who have done drag at some point higher than the general population? Of fucking course- its one of the few places where exploring gender is encouraged and celebrated. Of course trans people flock to that. And the exact same thing is true of femboys. Are a higher proportion of femboys trans or eggs than the general population. Of course. It's a great venue for trans people to explore their identities. But even more of them are
Am I saying you're a bad person if you encourage femboys and gender nonconforming people to consider the possibility that they're trans? Of fucking course not. It was the gentle, affirming pressure with respect and care for my comfort levels from several incredible trans women I know irl that eventually made me confident enough to start HRT. Their continually support is a key factor in my social transition plans for the future. I needed that pressure, and I think everyone, including people who aren't actively engaging in gender nonconformity, needs some push to question their gender and start unlocking cis+. But to be blunt, questioning whether cis femboys even exist is not gentle, comfortable, and affirming pushes.
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Writing Intellectually Disabled Characters
[large text: writing intellectually disabled characters]
Something that very rarely comes up in disability media representation are intellectually disabled characters. There is very little positive representation in media in general (and basically none in media meant specifically for adults or in YA). I hope this post can maybe help someone interested in writing disabled characters understand the topic better and create something nice. This is just a collection of thoughts of only one person with mild ID (me) and I don't claim to speak for the whole community as its just my view. This post is meant to explain how some parts of ID work and make people aware of what ID is.
This post is absolutely not meant for self diagnosis (I promise you would realize before seeing a Tumblr post about it. it's a major disorder that gets most people thrown into special education).
Before: What is (and isn't) intellectual disability?
ID is a single, life-long neurodevelopment condition that affects IQ and causes problems with reasoning, problemâsolving, remembering and planning things, abstract thinking and learning. There is often delay or absence of development milestones like walking (and other kinds of movement), language and self care skills (eating, going to the bathroom, washing, getting dressed etc). Different people will struggle with different things to different degrees. I am, for example, still fully unable to do certain movements and had a lot of delay in self-care, but I had significantly less language-related delay than most of people with ID I know. Usually the more severe a person's ID is the more delay they will have.
Intellectual disability is one single condition and it doesn't make sense to call it "intellectual disabilities" (plural) or "an intellectual disability". It would be like saying "they have a Down Syndrome" or "he has autisms". The correct way would be "she has intellectual disability" or "ze is intellectually disabled".
Around 1-3% of people in the world have intellectual disability and most have mild ID (as opposed to moderate, severe, or profound). It can exist on its own without any identifiable condition or it can be a part of syndrome. There is over a thousand (ranging from very common to extremely rare) conditions that can cause ID but some of the most common are;
Down Syndrome,
Fragile X Syndrome,
Fetal Alcohol Syndrome,
Autism,
Edwards Syndrome,
DiGeorge Syndrome,
Microcephaly.
Not every condition always causes ID and you can have one of the above conditions without having ID as long as it's not necessary diagnostic criteria to be met. For example around 30% of autistic people have ID, meaning that the rest 70% doesn't. It just means that it's comorbid often enough to be counted as a major cause but still, autistic â intellectually disabled most of the time.
A lot of things that cause intellectual disability also come with facial differences, epilepsy, mobility-related disabilities, sensory disabilities, and limb differences. A lot, but not all, intellectually disabled people go to special education schools.
Intellectual disability isn't the same as brain damage. Brain damage can occur at any point of a person's life while ID always starts in or before childhood.
"Can My Character Be [Blank]?"
[large text: "Can my character be [blank]?"]
The difficulty with writing characters with intellectual disability is that unlike some other things you can give your character, ID will very directly impacts how your character thinks and behaves - you can't make the whole character and then just slap the ID label on them.
Intellectually disabled people are extremely diverse in terms of personality, ability, verbality, mobility... And you need to consider those things early because deciding that your character is nonverbal and unable to use AAC might be an issue if you're already in the middle of writing a dialogue scene.
For broader context, a person with ID might be fully verbal - though they would still probably struggle with grammar, what some words mean, or with general understanding of spoken/written language to some degree. Or they could also be non-verbal. While some non-verbal ID people use AAC, it's not something that works for everyone and some people rely on completely language-less communication only. There is also the middle ground of people who are able to speak, but only in short sentences, or in a way that's not fully understandable to people who don't know them. Some might speak in second or third person.
Depending on the severity of your character's disability they will need help with different tasks. For example, I'm mildly affected and only need help with "complex" tasks like shopping or taxes or appointments, but someone who is profoundly affected will probably need 24/7 care. It's not infantilization to have your character receive the help that they need. Disabled people who get help with bathing or eating aren't "being treated like children", they just have higher support needs than me or you. In the same vein, your character isn't "mentally two years old" or "essentially a toddler", they are a twenty-, or sixteen-, or fourty five-year old who has intellectual disability. Mental age isn't real. Intellectually disabled people can drink, have sex, smoke, swear, and a bunch of other things. A thirty year old disabled person is an adult, not a child!
An important thing is that a person with ID has generally bad understanding of cause-and-effect and might not make connections between things that people without ID just instinctively understand. For example, someone could see that their coat is in a different place than they left it, but wouldn't be able to deduce that then it means that someone else moved it or it wouldnât even occur to them as a thing that was caused by something. I think every (or at least most) ID person struggles with this to some extent. The more severe someone's disability is the less they will be able to connect usually (for example someone with profound ID might not be able to understand the connection between the light switch and the light turning off and on).
People with mild intellectual disability have the least severe problems in functioning and some are able to live independently, have a job, have kids, stuff like that.
What Tropes Should You Avoid?
[large text: what tropes should you avoid?]
The comic relief/punching bag;
The predator/stalker;
The "you could change this character into a sick dog and there wouldn't be much difference";
...and a lot more but these are the most prevalent in my experience.
Most ID characters are either grossly villainized (more often if they have also physical disabilities or facial differences) or extremely dehumanized or ridiculed, or all of the above. It's rarely actually *mentioned* for a character to be intellectually disabled, but negative "representation" usually is very clear that this who they're attempting to portray. The portrayal of a whole group of people as primarily either violent predators, pitiful tragedies or nothing more than a joke is damaging and you probably shouldn't do that. It's been done too many times already.
When those tropes aren't used the ID character is still usually at the very most a side character to the main (usually abled) character. They don't have hobbies, favorite foods, movies or music they like, love interests, friends or pets of their own and are very lucky if the author bothered to give them a last name. Of course it's not a requirement to have all of these but when there is *no* characterization in majority of disabled characters, it shows. They also usually die in some tragic way, often sacrificing themselves for the main character or just disappear in some off-the-screen circumstances. Either way, they aren't really characters, they're more like cardboard cutouts of what a character should be - the audience has no way to care for them because the author has put no care into making the character interesting or likable at all. Usually their whole and only personality and character trait is that they have intellectual disability and it's often based on what the author thinks ID is without actually doing any research.
What Terms to Use and Not Use
[large text: What Terms to Use and Not Use]
Words like: "intellectually disabled" or "with/have intellectual disability" are terms used by people with ID and generally OK to use from how much I know. I believe more people use the latter (person first language) for themselves but i know people who use both. I use the first more often but I don't mind the second. Some people have strong preference with one over the other and that needs to be respected.
Terms like:
"cursed with intellectual disability"
"mentally [R-slur]"
"moron"
"idiot"
"feeble-minded"
"imbecile"
is considered at least derogatory by most people and I don't recommend using it in your writing. The last 5 terms directly come from outdated medical terminology specifically regarding ID and aren't just "rude", they're ableist and historically connected to eugenics in the most direct way they could be. To me personally they're highly offensive and I wouldn't want to read something that referred to its character with ID with those terms.
(Note: there are, in real life, people with ID that refer to themselves with the above... but this is still just a writing guide. Unless you belong to the group i just mentioned I would advise against writing that, especially if this post is your entire research so far.)
Things I Want to See More of in Characters with Intellectual Disability
[large text: Things I Want to See More of in Characters with Intellectual Disability]
[format borrowed from WWC]
I want to see more characters with intellectual disability that...
arenât only white boys.
are LGBT+.
are adults.
are allowed to be angry without being demonized, and sad without being infantilized.
are not described as "mentally X years old".
are respected by others.
aren't "secretly smart" or âemotionally smartâ.
are able to live independently with some help.
aren't able to live independently at all and aren't mocked for that.
are in romantic relationships or have crushes (interabled... or not!).
are non-verbal or semi-verbal.
use mobility aids and/or AAC.
have hobbies they enjoy.
have caregivers.
have disabilities related to their ID.
have disabilities completely unrelated to their ID.
have friends and family who like and support them.
go on cool adventures.
are in different genres: fantasy, romComs, action, slice of life... all of them.
have their own storylines.
aren't treated as disposable.
don't die or disappear at the first possible opportunity.
...and I want to see stories that have multiple intellectually disabled characters.
I hope that this list will give someone inspiration to go and make their first OC with intellectual disability ! This is just a basic overview to motivate writers to do their own research rather than a âall-knowing post explaining everything regarding IDâ. I definitely don't know everything especially about the parts of ID that I just don't experience (or not as much as others). This is only meant to be an introduction for people who don't really know what ID is or where to even start.
Talk to people with intellectual disability (you can send ask here but there are also a lot of other people on Tumblr who have ID and I know at least some have previously answered asks as well if you want someone else's opinion!), watch/read interviews with people who have ID (to start - link1, link2, both have captions) and try to rethink what you think about intellectual disability. Because it's really not that rare like a lot of people seem to think. Please listen to us when we speak.
Good luck writing and thank you for reading :-) (smile emoji)
mod Sasza
#mod sasza#writing intellectually disabled characters#neurodivergency#terminology#long post#writing advice#writing disabled characters#writeblr#writing reference#writing disability#writing tips#writing resources#writing help#intellectual disability representation
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The Ugliness of Venus
every planet is associated with certain key themes but being under that planetary influence means to experience its very opposite. the extremes of anything is a meeting point for its opposite.
venus is the planet associated with love, beauty, harmony etc therefore it is unsurprising that venusian influence also subjects one to cruelty, ugliness, disharmony, violence and malevolence.
TW: this post will contain mentions of sexual harassment, rape, violence, murder, massacre, genocide, death, suicide among other things so please beware!!!
in my observations I have often found that Venusian natives are often cruel, callous, ugly (i mean this to refer to their actions/behaviour and not just unconventional appearance because "beauty" is a sum of appearance and traits- what we call Venusian refinement) hurtful, jealous and utterly lacking the charisma and hospitality for which Venus is known.
it is disturbing to think of how soooo many well known and notorious sex offenders have HEAVY Venusian influence in their charts. think of any celebrity who has had a sex scandal and they usually have Venusian placements. it's intriguing that no other planet shows up as much (in my personal observations).
Why is Venus so brutal, cruel and embracing of the darkness/ugliness of humanity?
All 3 Venus nakshatras, Bharani, Purvaphalguni & Purvashada are Ugra (meaning cruel or brutal, this is a 7 category classification in vedic astrology) nakshatras.
Ugra naks are known to be action-oriented go-getters and people who are very self-motivated and determined. Any quality can manifest in good or bad ways, so the shadow aspect of this determination and motivation is often ruthlessness, callousness, selfishness and arrogance.
This is also the reason why Venusian naks suffer. Venus seeks refinement, so an individual who does not filter out their own darkness but instead indulges in it, is inviting wrath. More than any other planet, Venus punishes its natives quite harshly and publicly. So many people who have been known to be horrible people, have been exposed, shamed and punished publicly have Venus influence.
Venus energy must be handled with care. Since Venus is love, it has a quality where it loves blindly, completely and without judgement but discretion and judgement are necessary in life. It is not good to be absolutely consumed by someone or something without considering the good and evil inherent in it. This makes Venus natives prone to evil simply because they don't see it as such. They think of it as the depths of their understanding of love, beauty and harmony. Beauty in its extreme however is grotesque, its ugliness, its frightening. Think of all those IG models who have the same face, there is a blandness to their cartoonish perfection to their proportions, it fails to evoke feeling, it fails to be memorable because true beauty is distinct and flawed, its intensity, depth and exaggerated proportions because Venus is not mild or lukewarm, it like to go overboard. Think of Angelina Jolie, her big forehead, large cheekbones, strong jaw, big protruding eyes, its a face that calls attention to itself, its not simple or readily accessible, its the opposite of the IG face where beauty is reduced to ordinary everyday blandness. True beauty is individuality.
Venusian natives are often preoccupied with good and evil, the holy and demonic, heaven and hell, this emanates from a deep understanding of contradictions and the need for their existence. Opposites are an illusion, everything is one. Goodness in its extreme is evil and the extremes of evil touches upon goodness.
So now I'll discuss certain specific examples:
Mao Zedong- Purvashada Rising
He was responsible for the deaths of close to 40 million people who died due to starvation, forced labour and others executed by the state due to their opposition of its policies.
Saddam Hussein- Bharani Sun, Venus in Revati (exalted)
Him and his party used violence, killing, torture, execution, arbitrary arrest, unlawful detention, enforced disappearance, and various forms of repression to control the population. Kurdish people were systematically persecuted and massacred using tear gas.
Hussein was publicly executed for committing crimes against humanity.
Hitler- Purvashada stellium (Moon, Jupiter and Ketu), Mercury and Venus in Bharani
I need not elaborate on who Hitler was and what he did bc we're all very familiar with him but yeah he was a Venusian. He died by suicide.
Stalin- Purvashada Mercury Amatyakaraka
I do not wish to elaborate on Soviet war crimes but Stalin had millions of people die, from starvation, torture, indentured labour etc
R Kelly- Purvashada Sun & Mercury
He is a pedophile and convicted sex offender
Marilyn Manson- Purvashada Sun
He's been accused of assault and rape on more than one occasion.
Idi Amin- Purvashada Sun
Idi Amin was popularly known as "The Butcher of Uganda." Amin overthrew an elected government in Uganda with a military coup, using lessons from the British colonial army. He declared himself president and ruled ruthlessly from 1971-1979. Once in power, Amin started mass executions of the Acholi and Lango tribes. In 1972 Amin forced 80,000 Asians to leave the country, which caused the economic collapse of the country since many were business owners. Itâs estimated that through his rule, Amin killed at least 300,000 civilians.
Elon Musk- Purvaphalguni Moon
Sexual misconduct charges, labour law violations, treating his employees like trash and being an insufferable asshole on Twitter among other things. Nobody makes $100 billion without exploiting 100s of millions of people.
Jimmy Saville- Purvaphalguni Moon, Mars in Bharani amatyakaraka and Ketu in Purvashada
He was a pedophile who abused numerous children over the span of 50yrs
Peter Townshend- Purvaphalguni Jupiter & Rising, Ketu in Purvashada
He was found trying to access child porn sites
Chris Brown- Bharani Sun & Moon
He's abused several women, most famously, Rihanna
Here's some examples of people who have risen to prominence by playing ruthless people.
Kathy Bates- Mars in Purvaphalguni amatyakaraka
She is best remembered for playing the psychotic nurse in Misery
Anthony Hopkins- Purvashada Sun
He is best known for playing serial killer Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lambs
I know this is a very polarising topic and to any Venusians reading this, I sincerely do not wish to spread hate or cause harm, I am only trying to point out some of the things I have noticed. Does this mean every other Venusian you encounter is a serial killer in disguise? No Are all Venusians bad people? Also no. I thought it would be interesting to shed some light on the darker side of Venus which is seldom addressed if at all. Please do not take any of these observations too seriously and do not use astrology as a tool to propagate hatred towards yourself or others.
#venus#vedic astro notes#astrology observations#astrology notes#vedic astrology#astro notes#nakshatras#sidereal astrology#astro observations#astrology#astroblr
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the "Ryho" mindset is still happening
I didnât like how part of the fandom treated Ryan during the pre-split years. This might end up being a lengthy explanation but bear with me because itâs relevant to the modern fandom.
So it was a well-known fact in 2006 that Ryan was straightedge/sober (Spencer was too, but he got less attention from the media). Being straightedge kind of became part of Ryanâs image (hereâs a random example) and a lot of fans really connected with that. Then Ryan got drunk for the first time at the end of 2006, and we started seeing pictures of him partying with friends in early 2007 before the band even went to the cabin.Â
By summer 2007 Ryan was like a completely different person. I get that the drugs & alcohol probably helped him become more outgoing, but I also think he was just becoming way more confident & comfortable as he grew up. And SO many fans seriously hated the change. Fans still randomly criticized the other 3 guys, but that stuff seemed more like the regular small complaints that happen just for the sake of complaining when people are bored (ex: Jonâs beard existing or vanishing). The stuff about Ryan was very different in tone and there were some consistent themes throughout the last half of 2007: Ryan was too in love with Keltie, he dressed like a hippie now, and he partied a lot. Basically, he was changing. He was no longer the same person that he was during the Fever era.
It honestly seemed like many fans were angry at this new version of Ryan for taking the old version away from them, as though they had some sort of ownership. There was tons of drama over the fact that we were seeing lots of pictures of Ryan partying with various friends (some of whom posted detailed stories about their nights or how drunk everyone was). Some fans said Ryan was a hypocrite or a liar and tried to make him out to be an alcoholic, as though heâd personally betrayed them by destroying who he was "supposed" to be.
However, I think most of the complaints were actually rooted in something bigger: Ryan looked happy.
I felt like a lot of the younger fans had latched onto the idea of a shy, wounded guitarist who needed to be saved or *understood* or whatever⊠you know the cliche I mean?? That was the vibe that the media sometimes tried to give him during the Fever era, so even they knew it would sell! But now Ryan was partying a lot with a wide range of friends, was dating Keltie, had completely abandoned his Fever-era aesthetic, and seemed to be closest with Jon in 2007 instead of Brendon. He was âdestroyingâ the static image of Ryan that fangirls had taped onto their bedroom walls.
I remember a decent amount of fans actually admitting that they wished Ryan would go back to being depressed. Like they literally wanted him to be unhappy & unsure of himself because they liked him better that way. Others accepted that Ryan was changing and were happy for him, but still thought his bitter lyrics were better. And then even if other people wouldnât admit that they were clinging onto an old version of Ryan, their main criticism still seemed to revolve around the fact that Ryan was living his life, having fun, and being different than he was the previous year.
I saved one fanâs post because it summed up some of the complaints this year:
The nickname âRyhoâ really took off in late 2007.
Obviously a ton of fans loved Ryan (and the kids who were bashing him still claimed to love him too). The petty criticism just became annoying to me. People slammed his new clothes, his new hairstyles, the way he carried himself or talked, his weight/body, his âcreepyâ fingers, and the âgirlyâ things he told Kerrang he liked (pumpkin spice candles, vanilla milkshakes, his puppy, and Titanic). Even the kids who used to love Ryanâs mild arrogance were now holding it against him. A lot of the fans who were criticizing Ryan in the last half of 2007 jumped right back to being his âfansâ once the Pretty. Odd. era got going and things were interesting again, but I guess it shouldnât have been surprising that so many fans were able to easily switch to bashing Ryan once again in spring 2009 when he was changing yet again. Itâs like they were so focused on what Ryan wasnât doing that spring (ex: recording the third Panic album) that they couldnât see or accept what he was doing: building a whole new life for himself in a completely different music scene with the new crew of friends heâd been hanging out with for a while (Alex Greenwaldâs scene).
One of the things that stuck out to me in late spring & summer 2009 was how many fans felt rejected by Ryan (and Jon). Those fans had basically idolized prior versions of Ryan and were hurt to slowly watch him destroy all of that as they realized he didnât want to be part of the machine of the music scene that the fandom still loved. That hurt translated to them lashing out in anger.
So you know how I mentioned that in 2006 part of the fandom liked the idea of a shy, wounded guitarist who wrote bitter lyrics and needed to be *understood * and saved? And they resented Ryan for destroying that concept in 2007 and taking away the Ryan that they loved? They wanted to view him as a static character and couldnât accept that heâs a constantly-evolving human. This is still happening today. Some fans are still upset that the version of Ryan that they want was taken away (ex: Ryan left the Fever era behind, left Panic behind). Except now instead of resenting Ryan for the choices that he made, some modern fans have rewritten the past to blame external forces like Brendon instead. I've been trying so hard to wrap my mind around this for a while, so here's my take on it... keep in mind that this is just my own observation/guess. Ryan isn't very visible now, so people are free to project a lot onto him. I think that by blaming Brendon (who is the visible one left), people can still happily view Ryan as a helpless victim who needs saving, and never feel rejected or betrayed by his choices... then it's like Ryan didnât actually want to leave them, and could still be the person that they need him to be. Idk I'm still trying to comprehend what happened to the recent fandom tbh.
I'm absolutely not saying that all of Ryan's current fans are like this!! It's just that some little bits I've seen are concerning because they essentially take away Ryanâs agency & erase him. Even on a smaller scale, I've still noticed how some modern fans focus heavily on stories that dramatize Ryan's pain & portray him as a passive victim, regardless of whether those stories conflict with reality. Like why exactly is that angle a priority? Some examples:
Camisado is for dancing
the "funeral picture" isn't real
Lollapalooza was a fun show
June and July are different months
Ryan participated in the stage gay
some of the Ryden stuff could probably qualify too
Keep in mind that I'm saying this as a fan of Ryan. I am genuinely happy to see that he has so many newer fans! But sometimes I'm a little concerned that patterns might be repeating and maybe some people are more focused on their own creation of a character/image than an actual musician who has had many many phases.
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I've had some thoughts on what elements(not really ATLA) fit Ezio, Altaïr, Desmond, Basim and Ratonhnhaké:ton(just a curiousity thing). And i think Fire fits Ezio alot. It burns fiercly and destroys things in it's path, but the aftermath leaves nurishing, lifebringing ash. It burns down forests, leaving it clear for new growth.
For Desmond it's definetly Water. He bends around the rock in the river, but also violently crushes into obstacles. If we include ice into water(which i often do, it just makes sense imo), it also fits with a slow, but guaranteed death. It can also cut and freezeburn anyone who touches it, who doesn't know it's dangers.
AltaĂŻr is a bit trickier. He also fits Fire, but i also like the idea of him being Lightning. Violent, quick destruction, easily seen and recognised, often turning on it's wielder if improperly handled. But with the right amount, it leads to incredible technology, life altering in it's wonders.
Ratonhnhaké:ton i think is Earth or Wind. Earth is steady, lifegiving, solid. But it can also be devastating in it's power, shaking the very foundation of cities, tearing everything apart. Wind is similiar. Gentle, cooling breeze on a summers day or a warm wind in autumn, but it can also bring devestation. Storms, hurricanes and tornadoes. Tearing things apart, leaving destruction in it's wake, terrifyingly unstoppable.
Basim i think fits with Wind. He is very stubborn and willful in Mirage, like an incoming storm. And with the hallucinations, nightmares and the memories of Loki, he can probably go from a mild breeze to a hurricane in an instant, unstable in it's strength.
Idk about the others protaganists, i still haven't played most of the games(procrastenation is a bitch XD), but feel free to suggest your own ideas of other elements that could fit and how the elements can fit the other characters. ^^
So, before we get to the others, I feel like we should only focus on 5 main elements: Water, Fire, Earth, Wind and Lightning since thatâs the elements you suggested.
I agree with their elements and I kinda like the idea of Ratonhnhaké:ton being Wind more than Earth because I want to suggest that we mess with Edward.
He gets the Earth element. Of course, the Water element is right there and it would certainly make sense for him to have a Water element as well but just imagine how funny it would be for Edward to have Earth element and heâs still a pirate. Heâs gonna have to be creative and maybe bring a pouch of dirt with him. Or Jackdawâs captain quarters have a minigarden. Edward having Earth element could work. Earth and plants in general can be stubborn sons of bitches that wonât die even when theyâre out of their natural habitat (take dandelion growing on concrete for example). But Earth is also adaptable and steadfast.
I would also like to add, Basim is also like a fog (which is Wind adjacent) because of the secrets he hides in the âillusionâ called Basim (as someone who donât even know it or as Loki who actively uses that facade)
Now, for the other protagonists:
Bayek would be Fire. He brings warmth and safety to those he loves and suffering and death to those against him. The rage and desire for vengeance burns inside him but, at the same time, it is that warmth that helped him move on and create a path forward.
Shay would be Lightning as well, his name as an Assassin hunter similar to the thunderous roar that warns those of his presence but not of where he would strike.
Arno is Wind. At the start, he is carefree summer breeze, just fleeting around and enjoying the life he has. Later on, he becomes a mist, present but not the center of attention, satisfied of being of service to the woman he loves. After her death, he becomes a brewing storm that could just as easily be destructive to himself and others.
Evie and Jacob. Now, these two⊠they would be Earth but of âdifferent kindsâ. Jacob would be more of a plant-based Earth elemental wielder, a symbol of his desire to make his own path, away from their fatherâs legacy. Evie, on the other hand, is more of a stone-based Earth elemental wielder, signifying the fortitude of her loyalty to their fatherâs legacy. Both of them are Earth because they both hold their grounds on the belief they have.
Kassandra is Fire, mainly because a lot of her abilities in the game had a fiery effect. Her destructive capabilities coincide with the destructive force of flames devouring everything it touches but itâs also those powers that could provide saftey and warmth to the people she loves.
#did i make it so only desmond has water so he can remain special?#maaayybbeee#look if it was up to me the animus would be used to make desmond have access to his ancestors elements XD#assassin's creed#desmond miles#ask and answer#teecup writes/has a plot#fic idea: assassin's creed#altaïr ibn la'ahad#ezio auditore#ratonhnhaké:ton#connor kenway#bayek of siwa#kassandra of sparta#basim ibn ishaq#edward kenway#arno dorian#shay cormac#evie frye#jacob frye
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Birds of a Feather (teaser)
pairing; joshua hong x f reader
genre;Â smut (minors dni), fluff, crack
warnings;Â university au, alcohol, drug use (marijuana), food/drink, betting, bad jokes, borrowed memes, simp!joshua, jealousy/possessive nature, irresponsible use of a hot tub and a friend's personal space, slight dom!joshua, mild dom/sub dynamics, pet names, sex health/birth control talk, unprotected sex, breast play, pinning/man handling, dirty talk, oral (m & f receiving/giving), 69, scratching, crying, size kink implied, exhibition kink implied -- as always I'm sure there is something I've left out.
w/c; 14.3k (800 and some change -- this teaser)
a/n;Â first of all thank you so so much to my dear @onlyhuis for proofreading this and thank you for literally being the reason it exists. this is based on a true story -- names have been changed for privacy and it's not completely true but bird kid should find a new place to live. thank you to @wonwussy for helping me come up with an amazing title, also without june, @highvern, @shuadotcom, and @horanghater just know this fic would have sucked majorly. thank you so much for helping me figure out my shit and adding so much to this.
this fic will be released sunday 3/17 at 3 pmïżœïżœest to read it now subscribe to my patreon and click here
Joshua rubs the sleep out of his eyes as he leans his forearm against his door, looking down at the cute girl standing in his dorm room. You were holding a clipboard and had a look somewhere between serious and annoyed on your face.Â
âSorry, didnât mean to wake you up.âÂ
You hadnât had the chance to meet every single resident in your hall but today you were making some very interesting discoveries. For example, apparently Eros lived just five doors down and he slept in late. Clearing your throat, you look down at your clipboard in an attempt to hide how shy his gaze is making you feel.Â
âIâm Y/N; would you sign my petition to evict the bird kid? I know that sounds harsh but just to get him to, like, get his own place off campus with his bird.âÂ
His lips pulling up into a small grin, Joshua watches you start to ramble about your cause as you tap your pen against the paper attached to the clipboard. It seems you have several signatures so far. He had heard about this bird kid and he had also heard the bird in question several times.Â
âSure, Iâll sign it. Anything to get him to stop letting the damn thing use the water fountain as a bird bath.âÂ
Joshua watches as your eyes lift towards him again as he agrees with you. With the clipboard securely in his hands, you scoff in agreement, lifting your hands to express how important your argument was.Â
âRight?! Itâs gross. I drink out of that fountain. I mean, I used to...â
Nodding, Joshua signs his name and offers you back the clipboard before resting his shoulder on his door frame. You watch his smile pull to one side before he furrows his brows and gestures over his shoulder.Â
âMy roommate is still passed the fuck out but Iâm sure he will sign too. Swing back by later and catch him when heâs actually breathing.âÂ
Pulling the clipboard to your chest, you press your lips together, trying to keep your eyes on the manâs face even as you feel them being drawn to where his t-shirt was straining around his bicep. Clearing your throat, you lean back a bit and glance down at his name, whispering it to yourself before nodding and daring to look back up to find Joshua still watching you.
âOkay⊠Iâll do that, Joshua.âÂ
Turning towards the next door, you pull your eyes from his handsome face even as Joshua leans out of his doorway to watch you, lifting his hand to wave.Â
âGood luck with your petition, Y/N. See you later.âÂ
Groaning into his drool soaked pillow, Lee Chan forces himself to turn over and look towards his roommate, who was standing in the doorframe watching the hallway. He liked Joshua; if anything, the man was more like a brother than a roommate at this point but he was talking far too loudly for a Saturday morning.Â
âThat has to be a girl if you are acting like a simp this early.âÂ
Rolling his eyes, Joshua shuts the door behind him, turning towards the younger man and shooting him a look before reaching for one of the bottles of water and tossing it towards him. Despite usually having great eye to hand coordination, Chan hisses in pain when the bottle manages to meet his chest instead of in his hands.Â
âAnd? Your point? Drink your water; Iâm sure you have one hell of a headache.âÂ
Chan wasnât going to argue with Joshua on that point. He did have a headache that could rival all other headaches. He couldnât remember much of the night after their friend Seungcheol had shown him where the punch bowl was and challenged him to a âdrink off.â
Reaching for the pain medicine on his nightstand, Chan groans, trying to open the bottle as Joshua watches, only to sigh and take it from his hands, doing it for him. Muttering a thanks, Chan takes the bottle back, leaning back onto his bed to take the medicine, looking up at the ceiling.Â
âWho was the girl?âÂ
Pursing his lips, Joshua falls back on his bed, trying to hide the small smile on his lips, thinking about the short interaction with you and how cute you had been. It wasnât like anything had even happened or that there would be anything that would come from it but it was nice meeting a new neighbor so to speak.Â
âUh, she said her name was Y/N. Sheâll be back around later. Told her youâd sign her petition.âÂ
Chanâs brows furrow at Joshuaâs words as he lifts his hand to wipe at his mouth, water starting to run down towards his chin.Â
âWhat? Why would I do that?âÂ
âBecause itâs not that big of a deal and youâll agree with it. Itâs about that dude who has a bird. Something about getting him to move off campus with it.âÂ
Making a face at the mention of the bird, Chan feels his headache behind his eyes, even thinking about the squawking that could be heard late at night and early in the mornings.Â
âYouâre right. Iâll fucking sign it. Iâll forge names. Iâll help the son of a bitch move.âÂ
READ THE FULL FIC NOW ON PATREON
© onlymingyus - all rights reserved. Reposting/modifying of any fic, or pieces of original writings posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations not allowed
#joshua smut#seventeen smut#svthub#svt smut#joshua hong smut#seventeen fluff#seventeen crack#joshua fluff#joshua crack#joshua hong crack#joshua hong fluff#seventeen x reader#joshua x reader#joshua hong x reader#svt x reader#svt fluff#svt crack
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S3: The Bad Batch (4)
Chapter Four: A Different Approach
Gif by @azertyrobaz
Hunter x femaleJedi!reader
Series Summary: Ever since Eriadu, Clone Force 99 had been a fractured squad. Months have passed but you're finally back with the Batch but Omega is still out there and you won't stop until you find her again.
Chapter Summary: A reunion may be on the cards sooner than you thought
Masterlist for S1 and S2
<Previous Chapter
Genre: Friends (idiots) to Lovers (we're in the lovers stage now)
Chapter Warnings: Canon-typical violence, gambling, again we have my interpretation of headspaces, limited use of y/n, fluff and mild angst, discussion of character death, protective reader and Hunter, reader and Crosshair kinda get into it
Word Count: 5.3K
Author's notes: Now we're getting into part of the series where each episode allows for a bit more creative license which I'm very excited about! It starts with the end of this one and I hope y'all like it! Also, with regards to tagging people, I'm only tagging the users who still officially register when I do it. Please, please let me know if you want tagged/for me to try your username again!!
Sparks flew from the control as Omega did her best to stabilise them, but it was proving to be a rather challenging task. âI could use some help up here! Our comms are down. I canât contact Hunter!â
From down below in the shuttle, Crosshair was also doing his best to get things under control but the smoke, electrical malfunctions and the persistent screech of the alarm told him that was a very unlikely outcome. He analysed the screen dictating the state of the ship. âThatâs not the priority. The ship sustained heavy damage.â
âI can see that.â Omega retorted.
Crosshair made his way back up to the co-pilotâs seat, with Batcher following close behind. âGet the stabilizers back online!â
âThatâs what Iâm trying to do.â Immediately after she said that a large spark of electricity crackled from the console and the ship was torn out of hyperspace and spiralled towards the planet ahead.
âWe have to land.â
âA little hard to do when nothingâs working.â Omega snapped at him as she fiddled with the steering but to no avail.
The ship entered the atmosphere and started to plummet towards the ground.
Omega pulled hard on the lever to even out the ship as the ground grew ever closer. It was all she could do before it crashed landed and skidded along the surface.
When it finally came to a halt, Omega opened the glass roof to allow them all to get some air and eventually exit the wrecked vehicle. She looked in dismay as the controls fully shut off and the last dying spark flickered. âThis will take forever to repair.â
Crosshair exhaled a sore sigh as he got his bearings, but that soreness was soon replaced by irritation as the hound pushed insistently on the back of his chair. âNo. thereâs no time for that.â The dogâs fussing got too much for him. He stood up to allow her to jump past him and off the shuttle.
âWe need to get the nav reader online to extract the coordinates to Tantiss for when we go back.â Omega said, turning to look at him.
He couldnât understand how sheâd only just escaped that hell and was already talking about returning. âWeâre not going back.â
âWe left the other prisoners behind.â
âAnd the Empire is going to be searching for this ship and us.â He grabbed the pack with the blasters and hopped out of the shuttle. âWe have to move. I scanned a spaceport a few clicks east. Weâll start there.â
Omega followed his example and let him lead the way to the spaceport.
--
With the establishment of the new plan being they would get to the spaceport and sneak onto a shuttle, they acquired their disguises and the two of them blended in with the civilians of the town.
They walked past the various troopers in the town as casually as they could so as not to arouse any unnecessary suspicion.
Omega warily analysed the situation ahead as they reached the spaceport. âItâs too well-guarded. Weâll never slip past all those troopers undetected.â
âI can take out at least half before they know whatâs happening.â Crosshair stated confidently.
âOr⊠or we could try a way that doesnât involve blaster fire.â Omega countered.
âLike what?â Crosshair asked, his voice filled with doubt.
âWatch and learn.â With that, Omega calmly led the way to the ticket attendant.
âOh, I can hardly wait.â Crosshair said with a sigh as he followed a few paces behind.
âHello. Weâd like two tickets on the next shuttle please.â Omega requested pleasantly.
âChain codes?â Came the standard reply from the attendant.
âAbout that. We lost our chain codes.â Omega said coyly.
âNo chain codes, no passage.â
âRight. But you see, a problem for us could be an opportunity for you if, say, you knew of an alternate way of booking passage without a chain code.â She advanced towards the desk.
The attendant leaned forward. âAre you insinuating that I should take bribe?â
âIf thatâs what you want to call it.â Omega replied, feigning innocence.
âI do. And that could be arranged⊠for 15,000 credits.â
Omegaâs composure slipped slightly upon hearing that price, âFor two tickets?â She exclaimed.
âPer ticket. And itâs non-negotiable. Youâre lucky Iâm not charging extra for the creature.â
âWhere do you expect is to get 30,000 credits?â
âSounds like a you problem. Donât come back without the credits.â The attendant waved a hand in dismissal.
Omega hung her head in defeat and left the port with Crosshair.
âWell, that went well.â Crosshair remarked sarcastically.
âStow it.â Omega grumbled.
--
âStorming the spaceport would be easier than finding 30,000 credits.â Crosshair hissed as they aimlessly wandered the streets of the town.
âI donât want to hurt anyone.â
âDonât be naĂŻve. Every second weâre here, weâre at risk.â
They came to a stop outside a bar.
âThe quite wasting time complaining.â Omega argued before two troopers exited the bar and they both averted their gaze, but the opening of the door had given Omega another idea. âI think I know how we can make some fast credits.â
âOf course you do.â Crosshair mumbled as he saw her getting ready to make her way into the bar. The fluttering of a scrappy piece of paper caught under a nearby crate grabbed his eye before he entered, and he came to a sudden stop as he picked it up and saw what- or rather who- was on it.
Omega noticed he had stopped and when she turned back to enquire what was wrong, the question died on her lips as she saw what he was looking at. Only half the information on the sheet was news to her, but the rest made her eyes widen in shock. By the looks of things, you had been on your own for the time sheâd been on Tantiss and clearly, youâd stopped hiding. And judging by the harsh language and substantial reward offering, the Empire wasnât too happy about that. Now, not only was there the trouble of how exactly this information would go down between you and Crosshair but she also couldnât count on the fact that you were back with Hunter and Wrecker. She glanced up at Crosshair and, despite the fact that most of his face was covered, he could not conceal the emotions that flashed behind his eyes. âOh⊠um⊠she- well back when- Iâm sure she wouldâve told-â She broke off with a sharp breath as she struggled to find the words to say.
âDoesnât matter.â Crosshair said dismissively, crumpling it up and putting it away before he carried on into the bar. The fact that Omega seemed to already have an idea of what your⊠situation⊠gave him enough of a timeline to go off of.
âOne thing at a time, right girl?â Omega said with a shaky breath, patting Batcherâs side as the hound nuzzled into her. Putting her mind onto the task at hand, she too entered the bar.
--
The bar itself was relatively busy, especially compared to how Cidâs had usually been, and it gave Omega the chance to study her potential adversaries from their booth by the wall unnoticed.
âThatâs your plan? You want to hustle someone?â Crosshair repeated sceptically. What had they taught this kid?
âIâve done it before, and I prefer to think of it as a temporary requisition of funds.â
âAnd bet with what? We donât have anything.â
âThey donât know that.â Omega said with a cheeky grin.
âAnd if you lose?â
âWell⊠I guess weâll be in more trouble.â With that, she made her way to the card table in the middle of the bar and sat across from the Trandoshan and got her performance ready to go.
--
To say that Crosshair was surprised would be an understatement, the kid was winning every hand against the Trandoshan and securing credits within a matter of minutes. Whatever experience sheâd gained with the rest of his squad was clearly something to be admired. Although the mental image of Hunter even allowing her to hone such a skill felt very out of place, he was quietly grateful for it right now.
The bar came to a sudden hushed silence as the door opened. Omega heard Crosshair clear his throat in warning and she looked to the entrance to see an Imperial officer flanked by two troopers enter. She studied them carefully but remained at the table as she won the next hand much to the Trandoshanâs disappointment. âI think Iâll quite while Iâm ahead.â She said in response to his pleas for another game. Having an Imperial official here complicated matters and it was time she, Crosshair and Batcher left.
âLeaving so soon?â
Omega turned her head to face the officer as he stood by the table.
âYouâre in my seat.â
The Trandoshan let out a low snarl before he departed and gave up his seat to the man.
Crosshair tensed as he saw the Imperial sit but Omega waved him back.
âSo, you think youâre good at this game?â
Omega replied with a nonchalant shrug of her shoulders.
âWant to try against a, uh, real opponent?â He suggested to the young girl. âI insist.â
--
âYour mutt donât seem to like me.â He said as the dog released a series of growls.
âSheâs harmless.â Omega said in reply as she organised her cards.
âSheâs a distraction. Get rid of her.â He demanded.
Omega signalled to Crosshair to take her out.
Crosshair got to his feet, clicked his tongue, and led Batcher to wait outside.
The Imperial watched them go. âNever seen you or your dad around before.â He commented.
âWeâre just passing through.â Omega replied as she watched him flip the next card and the rise in murmurs indicated that both he and the crowd seemed to think her time was up.
âEh, Iâll admit youâre not bad. But you seem to have misunderstood your enemy.â
Omega only smirked, âDid I?â She placed her cards down and flashed the set of the three Eastern Stars. Game over. âIâll take those 20,000 credits.â She grew nervous however when his two guards made to approach the table.
He held a hand up to stop them. âI concede. You beat me fair and square.â He gave her the credits. âNicely played.â He left the table.
The Imperial went back to his men and one of them addressed him.
âSir. Patrol found a crashed Imperial vessel on the outskirts of town.â
âI wasnât notified about any shuttles arriving today.â He angled back to look at the two strangers with a newfound sense of suspicion. âNow, hang on a minute.â
Omega gathered the credits in her bag and, now that Crosshair had returned, she got up to leave with him, but the familiar voice of the Imperial stopped them both.
âWeâre not done here.â He chuckled coolly. âYou havenât paid your fine.â
âWhat fine?â Omega asked.
âGamblingâs illegal in these parts.â
âWhat?â Crosshair snarled as he made to step forward, but Omegaâs arm stopped him.
âThe law is the law. Now, all you gotta do is pay the fine. And Iâll be on my way.â
âHow much?â Omega asked him as she did her best to keep her disgust at bay.
âTen thousand credits⊠unless you prefer to be arrested instead.â
Omega got the credits out and handed them over.
âExcellent. Consider your fine paid in full.â He said smugly. âTry and stay out of trouble.â He dipped his cap and left the establishment.
Omega sighed in relief. âLetâs get out of here.â
Crosshair caught her shoulder. âHow many credits do we have left?â
Omega checked the bag. âThirty-five thousand. Enough for two tickets and a little extra.â She made the first move to leave.
--
âCrosshair, whereâs Batcher?â Omega asked anxiously as she scanned the area for her companion.
âOy. You looking for that hound?â
The two of them turned to look at the young boy speaking to them.
âYou know where she went?â Omega queried.
âSure do, but the answerâs gonna cost you. Ten thousand credits.â
The fact that he was a child made no difference, Crosshair sighed and stood intimidatingly over the boy. âIâm getting tired of this.â
âOkay, okay.â The boy backtracked. âFive, but thatâs my final offer.â
Omega touched Crosshairâs arm to call him off before she gave the boy the money.
The boy examined the credits before he supplied the information, âThat Imperial officer and his troopers snatched the creature and headed for the cargo docks. Down that way.â He pointed. âNice doing business with ya.â He ran away from them before they could change their mind about the money.
Omega started off in the direction of the docks.
âOmega.â
She angled back to face Crosshair. âYou heard him. Batcherâs this way.â
âAnd the spaceport is that way. Forget the hound. We have to get off this planet.â
âWe never would be escaped without Batcher. Iâm not leaving her.â
âYouâre making a mistake.â
âIâm not abandoning her!â Omega angrily tossed the bag of credits at him. âTake the credits. If you wanna go, then go. Iâll find my own way.â She stormed off.
Crosshair watched her go but before he got ready to go his own way, he felt guilt coil in his gut. It was becoming very clear as to the impact she could have on someone and explained why his squad had cared so much for her since he too found himself following her rather than doing the more sensible thing of leaving from the spaceport.
--
âFine. Weâll do this your way.â Crosshair agreed begrudgingly as he placed the bag down before Omega scaled the gate to the cargo docks herself. âBut my skills are being wasted.â He offered his hands as a means to boost her over the top.
Omega gave him a warm smile, âNoted.â With his assistance she was able to climb over the gate with ease.
Crosshair made the quick climb after her and together, they snuck through the docks looking for where Batcher was being kept.
Omega then heard a series of whines and she saw Batcherâs cage. âThereâs Batcher.â She signalled to Crosshair before she analysed the situation around her. âShouldnât we free the other animals too?â
âDonât push it.â Crosshair replied.
--
They had managed to covertly make their way around to get better access to the centre console but before they could make a move, that dull voice spoke up.
âI thought youâd come searching for your mutt. Yeah, unfortunately for you, Lau has a very strict pet policy. No license means a hefty fine.â
âHow much this time?â Omega asked, pretending to play along as the two of them were swiftly surrounded by troopers.
âHow âbout you give me all my money back? Credits wonât do you any good when Hemlock shows up.â He saw the shared looked between them. âOh, did you think I wouldnât piece it together when I found that crashed shuttle? Nothing gets by me. I run this town.â He drew his own blaster. âSo, hand over the credits and surrender.â
Omega sighed, âAlright.â She chucked the bag to the Imperial. âLetâs try things your way.â She murmured to Crosshair.
âFinally.â Crosshair waited until Omega ducked to cover before firing the first shot, but he noticed his hand was still no unsteady and his aim was more compromised than he liked.
Omega used the chaos of the firefight to get to the controls and release all the animals, the resulting stampede thinning out the Imperial forces and reuniting her with Batcher.
âIâll handle this. Take Batcher, and power up the ship.â Crosshair ordered. He provided her cover fire as she got the ship ready and when he saw a break in the blaster fire, he made his move towards the step.
Once he was on board, Omega got the cargo ship in the air and into the safety of hyperspace.
--
You had remained on the ship to study Techâs datapad and the various planets and their coordinates whilst the other two dealt with the lead on this particular planet, but its name escaped you- youâd been to so many in this sector already, the names of them were beginning to blur together.
You were doing what you could to try and determine the next, more efficient course of action whilst the others were out but the words and data on the screen were moulding into one pile of unintelligible information. You put the datapad down for a minute and rubbed your eyes as you huffed a tired breath from your lungs. You stretched your neck and adjusted your posture but before you picked the datapad back up, a faint chirping caught your ears.
You swivelled in your chair to see the communications light flashing and you knew you werenât supposed to be hearing from Echo any time soon. So, when you patched the encrypted message through and untangled it to find coordinates to the moon just outside of Ryloth, you knew there was only one other person who couldâve sent it.
You jumped out of your chair and cleared the steps of the Marauder in one leap before you sprinted to find Hunter and Wrecker.
--
âWhatâs wrong?â Hunter asked urgently as he saw you come running towards them.
You shook your head as you glanced between them. Your breath was heavy from the running but also from excitement as you said, âItâs Omega.â
--
âLook, I hate to be the one to say it, but what if this message is a trap?â Wrecker broached carefully as the ship flew through hyperspace.
âWho else would know those codes?â You disputed.
âBut if the Empire has herâŠâ
âIf itâs a trap, then weâll get out of there but if it is her⊠we need to be there, Wrecker.â Hunter said as the ship disengaged from hyperspace, and he entered the landing cycle. There was no sign of another ship yet, but he opened the door anyway.
âThereâs no one here.â Wrecker murmured, wringing his own hands anxiously.
âThen we wait.â You said calmly though your own heart was pounding.
--
âThe Empire will be able to track this vessel. We need to ditch it.â Crosshair advised as he entered the cockpit after getting rid of the hat and face covering that he had donned back in Lau.
âWe will. Iâm heading to a remote location, and I sent a coded transmission for Hunter and Wrecker and (Y/N) to meet us there.â Omega responded. She only hoped youâd be with them too.
Now that this reunion was approaching ever closer, he found himself unprepared for what was to happen next. âOmega. Itâs- itâs been months. You donât know if theyâre still ali-â
âTheyâll be there.â Omega interrupted sharply.
The ship exited hyperspace and as she peered out the window, she saw the welcomed sight of the Marauder waiting there.
Omega dashed down the shipâs steps but paused as she saw no immediate sign of any of you.
--
A few hours had passed but there was still no sign of the ship and nerves were starting to get the better of you all.
Hunter had begun pacing the length of the cockpit, you had not stopped fidgeting with your vibroblade and alternated between that and examining the hilt of your lightsaber, and Wrecker was busying himself around the rest of the ship.
You saw the uneasy expression on Hunterâs face, and you pulled yourself together enough to be there for him. You caught his shoulders and looked deep into his eyes. âJust wait, take a breath. Sheâll be here, Hunter. I know it.â
âBut-â He broke off as he heard the sound of a ship landing and a whole different type of nerves overtook him.
Wrecker made the first move to look outside and what he saw filled him with pure joy. âNow thereâs a sight!â
Take your time. You caressed Hunterâs cheek with a comforting and utterly relieved smile before you ran outside to join Wrecker.
Hunter braced his hands on the back of the pilotâs chair. He needed a minute to gather himself. This was the moment he had been seeking out for months but part of him couldnât quite believe it was happening.
--
âWrecker!â Omega cried in relief as she ran towards him and let him pick her up.
âI wasnât even sure your message was real!â Wrecker said with a happy laugh as he held her close.
âI knew youâd show up.â Omega closed her eyes and let the comfort of his strong hold overtake her.
âWe wouldnât have missed it.â
Omega opened her eyes to the sound of your voice, and she smiled brightly as she saw you standing just behind him.
You knelt down with your arms open as Wrecker lowered her.
Omega fell into your embrace and nuzzled into your shoulder. âI wasnât sure if- I thought you mightâve been-â She pulled away with a teary sniff.
You tilted your head as you tenderly wiped away the tears that had slid down her cheek and stroked a hand through her hair, the longer length of it a painful reminder of how much time had truly passed. âIâm right here, nothing happened to me.â You didnât need to worry her about past events right now- that rehashing undoubtedly would come up later- but this current moment was something to be celebrated and not clouded by anything else.
Omega went to clarify what she meant but Wreckerâs words stopped her.
âWe crossed the galaxy four times looking for you.â Wrecker revealed, wiping his own tears away.
âFive.â
Omega glanced past you as she heard Hunterâs voice and the sight of him created a feeling of pure elation that she wasnât sure she would never experience again.
âBut youâre the one who found us.â Hunter said with a smile from the doorway of the Marauder.
Omega started to run towards him.
Hunter darted down the steps two at a time and came to his knees as he held his arms out to her.
Your heart swelled and the emotions of the moment got stuck in your throat. That sight had been one you had been waiting to see for quite some time. You sensed and visibly saw how relaxed and content he looked, and you felt tears prick at the corners of your eyes.
Wrecker put a friendly arm around your shoulder as you both go to your feet, and he saw your reaction to their reunion. He too felt himself getting caught up in it all. Finally, things were looking up.
âWe missed you, kid. We never stopped searching.â Hunter said affectionately and as he tightened his hold on her and felt her reciprocate, for the first time since Ord Mantell, he felt truly at peace. He pulled away but kept his hands on her shoulders, âBut how did you escape?â
Omega hesitated before saying, âI had help.â
Hunter looked past her to see⊠well to see his brother descend the stairs of the ship, but what hit him was far more complicated than the relief he had been experiencing a mere second before.
You all followed his eyes and whatever happiness and lightness that had been surrounding you all immediately vanished and was replaced by a palpable tension as you all faced the clone that walked down the steps.
Your hand automatically came to cover your lightsaber.
Omega gaze darted between you all and she saw the shift in body language as well as the serious and distrusting expressions on all of you. It appeared she may have miscalculated as to how this smoothly this particular reunion would go.
âWe can do this now and remain by a ship the Empire will be currently tracking, or we can get out of here.â Crosshair said simply.
Hunter placed a guiding hand on Omegaâs back and jutted his head to Crosshair as the rest of you boarded the ship.
Crosshair followed them, with Batcher now close on his heels and the Marauder entered hyperspace once more.
--
Omega stood in the middle of the hallway. None of you had so much as made a sound or really moved since the ship had begun the journey back to Pabu and it was getting rather unbearable. âSo⊠I got a dog! Her nameâs Batcher.â Omega said with an uneasy laugh into the dead silence of the ship, but it got no reaction. The four of you continued your standoff with Crosshair positioned down the hall of the ship closest to her room/gun turret and the rest of you closer to the cockpit. All of you had your arms crossed and you, Hunter and Wrecker looked particularly guarded. She took that resulting quiet as her cue to perhaps let you all have it out right now. She took a seat and called Batcher over to sit by her feet and waited.
It was Crosshair who broke the silence first, âWhereâs Echo?â
âWorking with Rex.â Hunter replied briskly.
Crosshair released a soft hum in acknowledgement before he asked the question that heâd been putting off since heâd deduced it from how Omega had talked to him all those months on Tantiss, âAnd Tech⊠heâs- heâs really gone?â
âYeah. It-â Hunter released a sad sigh, âIt was a mission gone wrong and he- he sacrificed himself for us so we could get away. He knew what he was doing but⊠yes, heâs gone.â
Crosshairâs jaw tightened. He knew exactly what mission Hunter was referring to. âSo much for Plan 88.â He couldnât help but say, the grief and tense situation getting the better of him.
âWhat?â You remarked with a glare.
âYou were supposed to stay hidden.â
âWe couldnât do that.â Wrecker said grimly. âNot when it looked like you were in trouble.â
âWe couldnât leave you behind, Crosshair.â Hunter added quietly, some of the fight leaving him as he recalled the events of Eriadu.
âWhy? You never had trouble doing that before.â Crosshair retorted harshly.
âExcuse me?â You growled.
âHey, itâs okay, donât-â Hunter came to stand in front of you, but you stepped past him.
You couldnât help it, the protectiveness that hit you was all you could act on. âYou donât get to do that. You donât get to throw your choices back in his face. You were offered a different path, but you decided the Empire was where you wanted to be. And yet, despite all of that, the moment we found out you needed us, there was no real alternative. We never knew what had happened to you, but we didnât need to. All we knew was that you were in trouble. We all knew the risks of ignoring that plan⊠Tech knew the risks. Donât you dare-â
Crosshair wasnât prepared to explain what happened to him yet, so he kept up with his provocation instead, âYou want to talk about risks? What are you playing at staying around with them?â
Hunter and Wrecker both looked sharply towards Crosshair.
Your posture stiffened. âI donât know what-â
âI may have been out of action but Iâm not blind. If the lightsaber on your belt didnât give it away, the wanted poster I just saw sure as hell did.â Crosshair spat as he flung it towards you.
You unfurled the paper, and your breathing became irregular saw this was one of the more detailed wanted ads that had been circulated. You crumpled it back up and then glanced to Omega who could only offer an apologetic grimace that she couldnât warn you earlier, âThatâs what I was trying to tell you.â
You looked back to the clone, âCrosshair, I-â
âYouâre a Jedi and that wasnât something you felt the need to share?â
âEvery day.â You said tightly, âBut I couldnât chance something happening-â
âWell, somethingâs happened now, hasnât it?â Crosshair bit back angrily. âDo you have any idea the danger youâve put us in? Do you even care? Youâd be doing us a favour by leaving.â
Even Omega joined Wrecker in shaking her head at him this time.
âCrosshair.â Hunter cautioned as he saw the guilt and shame that flashed across your face as your mask of composure slipped. âSheâs not going anywhere. Weâve handled it so far.â
âYou donât know what the Empire is capable or what she is. I read what sheâs done, and they wonât stop-â
âWeâve got it handled.â Wrecker repeated again as he noticed the way your shoulders started to heave.
Your jaw clenched. âYou werenât there. You donât know-â
âI was there on Devaron.â Crosshair snapped. âI was there when you decided to join us. I was there when you decided to spend every day lying about what you are.â
âCrosshair.â Hunter warned again and there was no mistaking the protectiveness in his tone or his stance now.
Crosshair picked up on Hunterâs reaction, but he wasnât to be dissuaded. âYou want to judge my decisions, but you betrayed-â
âYou donât get to talk about betrayal, Crosshair.â Hunter interjected coldly as he came to stand by your side.
You only let out a bitter laugh. âYeah, I made my choices in the beginning but when would you have liked me to tell you, Crosshair? On Kaller? But would that have been during or after your attempts to kill the Padawan? Or perhaps you wouldâve preferred it on Kamino when Tarkin was there, and you were talking about how great the Empire was and how the Jedi were traitors and what happened to them was justified? Or would you have liked to have a sit down during one of the many occasions you were already actively trying to kill us? Tell me, when should I have entrusted you with this part of me?â
This time he didnât have a response for you, he just shifted uneasily on his feet and glanced down at the floor.
You continued to speak but there was a distinct sadness to your voice now, âI wished I had been honest with all of you from the start. Truly I do. But after everything thatâs happened, Iâm glad youâve only just found out because looking at you now, knowing what I do, I canât be certain that if you had known what I was on Kaller, that you wouldnât have tried to kill me too.â
Crosshair went to speak but found that he couldnât immediately offer the reassurance that was needed.
âYouâre our brother, Crosshair, and youâre welcome to stay on Pabu with us but donât expect any of this to be easy.â Hunter said, placing his hand on your back in support.
âHe helped me get out of Tantiss. Heâs different now.â Omega remarked quietly.
Wrecker grunted and nodded towards his brother, but you and Hunter made no such moves, instead you both retreated further into the cockpit.
You sat in one of the passenger seats and stared at the paper again as you read the painful reminders of how youâd acted when youâd been separated from them. Heâs right, you know.
âNo, heâs not.â Hunter disagreed firmly as he knelt before you and untangled the wrinkled piece of paper from your hands. He paid it no attention as he threw it away. He came back and placed his hands on your shoulders as he crouched before you. âAre you alright?â
You breathed deeply and nodded. And you?
Hunter also nodded before he got to his feet and sat in the seat across from you.
--
âSo, when did this happen?â Crosshair asked, gesturing to the two of you. The way you both were behaving wasnât totally different to how things had been in the months before Kaller, but there was a definite shift that marked something more official. There had been a lot heâd missed out on.
âAfter Tipoca City.â Omega informed him as Batcher eagerly greeted them.
Wrecker enthusiastically petted the hound as he moved closer to Crosshair and Omega. âAbout time, right?â He added with a hint of humour in his voice, but the stern looks from the two of you had him clearing his throat awkwardly.
Crosshair simply hummed in reply and found himself wondering just quite how difficult things were about to be.
Next Chapter>
Tagging: @noeasyisnoisy, @andreaaxy, @dominoeffectsworld, @nightmonkeysstuff, @arctrooper69
#the bad batch#the bad batch season 3#the bad batch s3#hunter x reader#hunter x femalejedi!reader#hunter x fem!reader#hunter x female!reader#sergeant hunter#sergeant hunter x reader#hunter tbb#hunter the bad batch#the bad batch hunter x you#hunter x y/n#tbb hunter x reader#the bad batch fanfiction#star wars#friends to lovers#angst#fluff
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When they say "be there or be square", today's Wet Beast Wednesday subject chose "square". I am referring to boxfish. Also known as cowfish, trunkfish, and cofferfish, these real-life Minecraft fish are bony fish in the family Ostraciidae, sometimes called Ostraciontidae. This makes them close relatives of pufferfish and file fish in the order Tetraodontiformes. While all the Tetraodontiformes are weird-looking fish, the cowfish are easily the strangest, they don't even really look that much like fish.
(image: the yellow boxfish Ostracion cubicum. They literally named it "cube")
The squarish shape of the boxfish comes from their unique skeleton. They have a carapace made of overlapping, hexagonal plates called dermal scutes that are the equivalent of scales in other fish. Each plate is composed of a soft and bendable collagen layer and mineralized surface layer. This carapace is very sturdy, with holes in it to allow for the eyes, mouth, fins, and cloaca to pass through. In game terminology, the cowfishes are stone walls. Because of the composition of the carapace, boxfish are fully rigid and cannot bend their bodies in any direction. This, combined with their not-overly hydrodynamic shapes, makes them slow and weak swimmers. When they filled out their character sheets they went all-in on defense and neglected speed and offense. A boxfish won't be winning any races, but the carapace is extremely hard to bite through or puncture, giving an effective defense. Despite their small sizes (the largest species can get up to 50 cm/20 in long, and most species are much smaller), adult boxfish have almost no natural predators. It's worth noting that while boxfish are slow swimmers, they are very maneuverable. They have the ability to create small vortices around their bodies to help maneuver.
(image: a boxfish skeleton)
(image: a boxfish with its hexagonal carapace visible through its skin)
Not satisfied with having an impenetrable shell, many species of boxfish developed another defense mechanism. When stressed, they can release poison into the water. These poisons are surfactants, substances that break up surface tension, that can damage the cell membranes of other animals. While each species has their own specific chemical and not every species is poisonous, these toxins are collectively called pahutoxins. Poison is a pretty common thing in the Tetraodontiformes. Famously, pufferfish, close relatives of boxfish, are highly poisonous. Most poisonous boxfish species are brightly colored. This is called aposematism and is used as a warning to potential predators that the animal is dangerous. A famous example of aposematism is the brightly-colored poison dart frogs. Young boxfish are typically more colorful than older ones.
(image: a longhorn cowfish Lactoria cornuta)
Boxfish are voracious omnivores that will eat just about anything that can fit in their tiny mouths. The majority of boxfish species live in coral reefs and their diet consists largely of algae that they scrape off of coral. Additional foods include sponges, tube worms, mollusks, and small fish and invertebrates. Some species can spit out water to blow aside sand and search for buried food.
(image: Ostracion meleagris, the spotted boxfish)
Boxfish are typically solitary, but occasionally come together in small groups. These groups typically consist of one male and a few females. Scientists speculate these groups are formed for reproduction. They are known to reproduce by swimming to the surface of the water, releasing their gametes, and quickly swimming away.
(Aracana ornata, the ornate boxfish)
Because of their unique appearances, boxfish are popular in aquariums. They are recommended for experts only because of their ability to release poison. Boxfish are easily stressed and can kill themselves and other tank-mates by releasing toxin. Aquarists usually say they should be kept in solo tanks or with smaller, mild-mannered tank-mates. In addition, they need to be in tanks with minimal water flow as even the current of a decently-sized filter can blow them around uncontrollably. People who keep boxfish have called them shy, but highly inquisitive and even playful. They have been reported spitting water and their handlers, apparently in an attempt to get attention.
(image: Lactoria forasini, the thornback boxfish)
#wet beast wednesday#minecraft-looking ass fish#marine biology#biology#zoology#ecology#fish#fishblr#fishposting#boxfish#cowfish#longhorn cowfish#tetraodontiformes
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Ok so I've had your pain sharing au on my mind for weeks now and I love it so much.
So your post about leg cramps kinda reminded me about something. I feel little amounts of pain throughout the day due to back and leg issues. Like it's annoying but it's small and it goes away/lessens usually after I stretch or walk around. And while I'm used to it I'm just imagining the chain going through that.
Like let's say Legend or Time are dealing with mild pain like that, like maybe legends leg goes numb after sitting weirdly and the entire chain has to feel the bizarre pain of your leg getting feeling back for a few seconds. Or maybe he walked weirdly and feels joint pain in his ankles even though all he did was walk.
Or maybe Times back aches after a battle (or even just sitting/laying down wrong) and everyone else just feels dull back pain while Time tries to deal with it.
And it's just so normalized for them but everyone else wonders how often they feel like that.
Also a small question I had about this, and I did look through your au tag a bit but I didn't see anything about it. Does the link extend to exercise pain/exhaustion? Like when your muscles burn after doing some exercise? Using me as an example (again lmao) even running for very short periods causes my legs to burn far more than they should far too fast. So like would the others feel it if Sky is physically exhausted to the point of his body burning? (I'm just not sure if that type of thing even counts as pain, or if it's just in discomfort territory)
Yeeeeees, those legend and time examples you used are *chef's kiss* I feel the others knowing about how often they're in pain and how they still function/do things even while feeling it would put a lot of stuff into perspective
I think sore muscles pain would transfer since those hurt a lot imo, especially if you don't stretch post a workout
Now the muscle burning while doing the workout could also be transferred, but I feel the links would feel it more as a discomfort since they're all used to that feeling đ€ I suppose it depends of how strong it is
#miry's ask box#I'm happy to know i infected you with the pain sharing au brainrot hehehe#it's great here for us (not so much for the links)#lu pain sharing au
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