#also i hope ppl still like my really shitty attempt at a

[radio-charlie]

was genuinely astounding to see that person's behaviour and tone with you - completely unacceptable even if they disagreed with you. I just want to say I thought you handled the matter with so much civility and grace and have really changed what I think of people and discourse in the process. just wanted to be a small voice of support since people are being unimaginably shitty to you. I've followed your blog for a long time and it's brought me a lot of comfort in bad times so I hope this brings you a little. As a South Asian person i really admire your viewpoint and feel your exhaustion at dealing w this kind of condescension. Hope you have a nice day and some good meals ❤️

hey thank you. this is probably the only supportive message i've gotten since all of that went down, but even if it weren't, it would still mean a lot to me. idk if ur referring to chrisdornerfanclub or 40ouncesandamule... if the latter, i think i was at fault for talking about his experiences with racism that way. wtv suspicions i have abt his intentions (and those of others), there was a much better way of going about it. with the rest... yea, does feel unacceptable, and is par for the course when it comes to many leftists of the west, particularly the whites. usually i don't stay mad, coz everybody has their blind spots from where they've grown up, and if i expect others to be forgiving and patient with mine, i have to try doing the same for them.

in this case though there seemed to be a concentrated attempt at portraying my positions and character in as distasteful a light as possible (and very quickly), like they were not only trying to make me so capital p Problematic ppl would no longer engage with my opinions, but also to make an example out of me. i've seen this sort of thing from operatives in malaysian progressive/leftist spaces. and so i feel more assured than ever that some of these people really are feds. :P there are other reasons... we can talk more about them elsewhere if you'd like

i do try to be cool even when i'm in a lot of anger and pain and so once again it means a lot to me that you noticed. happy that this silly blog has brought you something. may it continue to for a long time. take care my friend and thank you for being a part of my life.

[yaz-the-spaz]

Purgatory (it's our paradise)

summary: liam has made a grave mistake, one that’s cost him everything. or so he thinks...

[or, what happens when fallen angel liam meets ifrit zayn]

a/n: This was alternatively going to be called ‘heaven in your eyes’ as the original parenthetical part of the title, but then I remembered the obvious line from pillow talk and couldn't resist

inspired by my friend @lstarry​ who originally sent me the liam pic and got the conversation rolling on fallen angel liam, which ofc forced this plotbunny into my head lol

fyi angels cry glittery tears in this

and also, to be clear, this is not exactly meant to THE purgatory, but just something like it/equivalent to it, a place on a similar plane but separate from all the other creatures/souls that would be in actual purgatory

rated: T (only for some slightly graphic descriptions of blood and gore, other than that this is mostly just G rated angsty fluff)

______________________________________________________________________

He shouldn’t be here.

That is the only thing that keeps running through Liam’s mind as he traipses on an endless journey through this foreboding forest, whipping thickets of thorny branches and brambles away from his face and arms, trying his best to shield his body from the worst of the blows with his wings. His wings which have already started to take on a mottled dark tawny color, slowly and steadily blackening the longer he spends here. It won’t be long now. Before they’re fully black. Before the ether of this place has turned his very soul into something dark and twisted. Or at least those are the stories he was always told. He doesn’t know how true they are. But he supposes he’s been spared an even more wicked fate. He could be in a place much worse than here. A place full of nothing but…the most absolute vile depravities and monstrous abominations, a place full of nothing but endless suffering and torment. Here at least toes the line, not quite pure, not quite evil, but rather hovering delicately somewhere in between.

It’s his own fault though. All of it. He just couldn’t keep his stupid mouth shut. He’s always done his best to be so good. To fall in line. For so long he’s played the obedient little soldier, never questioning, never disobeying. But he just couldn’t do it any longer. He couldn’t do it. And now he’s gone and gotten himself cast out. Forever. Lost the only family he’s ever known, the only home he’s ever known. Traded it for this place, condemned to an eternity of loneliness, darkness.

He doesn’t want to cry, doesn’t want to give Father the satisfaction—because Liam knows He’s still watching, even here. But he can’t help it. He grieves for all that he’s lost, all that he’s given up in return for a life of squalor and desolation, tears sparkling at his eyes.

It wasn’t worth it.

If he could go back and do it all again, he wouldn’t. He’d keep his mouth shut, play the good soldier for the rest of eternity no matter the personal cost to him. He’d rather suffer in miserable silence the rest of his days, surrounded by his family, than be trapped here alone in this awful place, with no hope, no chance for redemption. This cold, dark place that is slowly sucking the light right out of him, leeching on all the tendrils of good still remaining within him.

Abruptly he reaches the edge of the forest, the heavy darkness ebbing away only slightly to illuminate a large clearing before him and he gasps, stopping short at the sight in front of him.

In the middle of the clearing is a creature, crouched down over another. The fog is too thick at the moment to make much out for certain but Liam can smell death in the air. Terror-struck, he darts back behind the trunk of the nearest tree.

But it’s too late. They’ve seen him.

A wicked-sounding laugh carries itself on the current of the air, almost as if tangible, as if latching itself onto the fog until it reaches Liam, sounding as if coming from right beside him. He jumps, darting to another tree, the taunting laughter somehow seeming to follow him, his own panting breaths coming short and fast in his ears. Back and forth he weaves between the trees, the laughter still seeming to echo behind him no matter which direction he goes, until finally it fades. And then a sudden thought occurs to him. He doesn’t know how much of it is the steady darkness creeping in, taking hold of him. He’s never thought anything like it before. Never had reason to before now. But he realizes that if the thing, the creature, in the clearing has killed another, then it is possible to be killed here. Not just hurt or maimed, but killed. He has never known the threat of death before. It was not a possibility for him back home, with Father.

He’d thought himself condemned to a miserable eternity here, but…perhaps not. Perhaps…there is another way out. Perhaps Father has given him some chance at solace after all. Surely ceasing to exist would be a better fate than endless millennia of this? A peaceful respite from a lifetime of loneliness and suffering, a lifetime of being consumed by immeasurable guilt and regret.

Resolute in his sudden decision, Liam steps out from behind the tree and ambles forward. If he is to meet his end today, he will meet it head on, like the soldier he was bred to be.

As he steps forward, however, the fog starts to clear a little and he realizes that the creature is not what he thought at all. Not the ghastly beast he was imagining, but a thin waif of a thing. Like him it has been made in Father’s image. Two arms, two legs, a face with a congruence of features not all that unlike his own. Two eyes, a mouth, a nose, even ears. Though, unlike Liam, it has no wings.

“What has Father sent me?” it calls out into the foggy darkness, in the deep voice of a male entity. “Come closer, let me see my gift.”

Curious, Liam steps further into the clearing, the fog wafting and parting around him, creating a path of sorts between them, allowing them to view each other more clearly.

“An angel?” the creature inquires aloud, his smile wicked-looking as he sets his sights on Liam. “Come, little angel. Don’t be afraid.”

As Liam edges closer more details start to come into view. A dead thing, more animal-like in nature, lays before the creature, body crumpled and twisted, covered in blood. It is obvious from the state of the carnage that there was a struggle, though whether this kill was for food or for pleasure, it is unclear.

But Liam is not afraid.

Moving forward still, his eyes meet the other’s, close enough to take him in fully. He is beautiful, Liam realizes. A particular, sharp, striking sort of beauty that Father only reserves for a lucky few of His creations. Already Liam was ready to meet this creature head-on, to accept whatever fate may befall him in their encounter, but strangely he finds himself being drawn in even more by the other’s gaze. His eyes are a warm brown, again not unlike Liam’s, but there is something else, something…volatile and fervid lurking behind them, something almost intoxicating in its intensity even.

Gaze still trained on Liam, who is still edging closer, the creature lifts his hand to brandish a dagger fashioned out of sharp-cut bone. He holds it purposefully in front of him, but somehow Liam can sense there is not a threat in it. Though he’s unsure if that is a good or a bad thing. A part of him wants the threat, wants the assurance of a welcome death, without the hindrance of games and dalliances. But still he moves forward, their eyes still trained on each other, the dagger still held firmly, but somehow also playfully, in the creature’s hand.

When Liam is only a few arms’ lengths away the creature’s smile briefly turns from wicked to animated—a strange, almost frenzied glee in it—before softening again, returning back to that more mischievous air as he brings the dagger toward his mouth. Eyes still reeling Liam in, he waits for Liam to get closer, closer. And then he licks the dagger, slowly and languidly, watching Liam like a taunt. And that's when Liam realizes that it's blood he's licking, all the while still looking Liam right in his eyes. Liam can’t look away. He shouldn’t find the sight so enticing but he does. This place is already starting to turn him, he realizes. Or perhaps it is whatever hidden power lies behind this stranger’s gaze. He doesn’t know, but he suddenly finds he doesn’t care.

Drawn in by those magnetic eyes, Liam stands there. Watching. Waiting. For what, he isn’t sure, but oddly he feels he could be content to watch this creature forever. Even if the creature was doing nothing at all, Liam thinks he would still want to watch.

When he has licked all the blood away, he sets the knife down and digs his other hand into the animal, pulling away neatly-cut strips of flesh that he must have already carved up earlier, before Liam arrived. Then he sticks his bloody hand out toward Liam, long strips of flesh dangling over his palm.

“To share,” he says simply.

It is nothing like the food Liam would have eaten back home, the sweet fruits that blossomed with flavor in his mouth. But he has been wading through the forest for what he is certain must have been at least a handful of millennia, if not more, and he is so hungry. He may not have view of the humans’ world any longer to help him mark the passage of time but he remembers what a millennium felt like and his journey through the forest had certainly not been a short one, even by his own kind’s standards of time.

Longingly, he drops to his knees, mouth watering, and takes the helpings offered to him, sinking his teeth in.

It is not altogether pleasant, but it is not entirely unpleasant either, and he finds it warms his belly in a rather soothing and satisfying way that the food of home never did.

When they have eaten their fill, and there is nothing left but bones and discarded scraps of skin, they settle back against the ground, faces tilted up to the sky. Through the fog, the faint twinkle of stars is still visible and it makes him long for home, a strange ache to his body. But a sudden soft touch to the feathers at the edge of his left wing startles him out of his thoughts and he abruptly sits back up.

The other creature mirrors him, sitting up to face Liam and they simply watch each other for a while before he reaches out again. Liam’s wing flinches a little, unused to such a touch from someone who is not his family.

“What are you?” Liam asks, the creature eyes still set on Liam’s face even while he pets delicately and curiously at Liam’s wing.

“I am ifrit. Born of fire.”

Liam only distantly remembers learning of the ifrit. There are some of Liam’s kind who have been around since the time of their creation, who remember when their own kind and the ifrit roamed earth freely with the humans, before there was so much separation of all the different realms. But that was long before Father created Liam, and he has never known a time of such freedom himself.

“What is your name?”

“I am called Zayn,” the creature says, still enamored by Liam’s wings. “And you?”

“Liam.”

“Liam,” Zayn repeats. “Hello, Liam.”

“Hello, Zayn.”

The fog around them has dissipated a bit more and Liam looks around, curiously. He wonders if this is the ifrit’s home. And if so where is his family? Surely there are others of his kind here that he lives among? Unless perhaps he is from another place, but has been cast out too, like Liam. He wishes he could remember more about the stories of the ifrit but he supposes it is really of no matter. They are both here now. They must make the best of it. At least he seems friendly, and willing to share.

“So soft,” Zayn says, still petting at Liam’s feathers. He smiles again but there is no seeming wickedness or deviousness to it this time, no manic excitement. Instead it is gentle, almost a wondrous, joyful sort of expression. “Father has sent me such a lovely gift.”

Liam frowns. “I am not a gift.”

“Of course you are,” he says, as if Liam is the one being silly. As if he can’t even fathom that Liam has only been sent here for punishment.

Liam sighs. Stupid ifrit. Perhaps he’s gone mad in his time here. Liam hopes that is not the fate that awaits him too.

“Where are you from?” Liam says instead, voicing his thoughts aloud. “Is this your home or were you cast out from your family too?”

“I am born of fire,” Zayn repeats.

Liam sighs again. Of course. The very moment he thinks he’s found solace in a possible companion, and it turns out Father has only cursed him yet again with a half-mad fire creature.

“Poor angel,” Zayn says sadly, still petting at him, but further down, where the feathers are still white instead of black or faded brown. “You are born of the light, but your light is fading here.”

Liam looks back at him, surprised but still resigned. He may not be all there, but at least he isn’t as dim-witted as Liam had worried he might be.

But then he dashes even that hope, saying, “That must be why Father sent you to me.”

“He didn’t send me to you,” Liam retorts. “He sent me here as punishment, and I only happened to run into you.” He’s annoyed that he even has to explain any of this, but the slow-witted ifrit just doesn’t seem to get it.

Zayn smiles, shaking his head at Liam. “Funny little angel. You were born directly in Father’s light but you still don’t understand Him at all, do you?”

Liam’s mouth drops open. How dare this daft creature insult him in such a way!

“Come,” Zayn simply says, suddenly standing and sticking out his hand for Liam to take.

Liam staunchly refuses, shaking his head and staying seated. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

“Come,” Zayn repeats, more insistently, flexing his outstretched hand a bit for emphasis.

“No.”

“Would you rather take your chances alone with a full pack of those?” Zayn juts his head toward the now-bare carcass of the animal they ate. Liam blows out a breath through his nose, frustrated. He supposes Zayn has a point. He’d been lucky enough to avoid any dangerous encounters during his time in the forest. But if he lets Zayn leave without him now, he’ll be stuck here all alone in an area he’s guessing those animals are more likely to frequent, and with none of his angelic weapons—they’d been revoked upon his banishment—to defend himself with. He has no desire to die that way. He may have welcomed the idea of death before, with Zayn, but at least that would have been a warrior’s death. Not so with a pack of wild beasts.

Reluctantly, he stands, taking Zayn’s hand and they start to walk...

[Read the rest on AO3 here]

[saintobio]

I somewhat understand y/n’s decision to leave with everything that happened but lying about a abortion and hiding his kid is messed up on SO MANY LEVELS😩 there are gonna be some serious consequences to her actions and she’ll feel so bad because we all know he loved that baby😔 and she deprived him of that feeling of seeing him grow up a bit. I get her feelings tho not saying that they weren’t valid, but like what were you going to explain to your son in the future? I mean you have Toji and that’s great and all I guess but I think eventually their son would’ve figured out that he wasn’t his actual dad…what was her plan? What were you gonna tell him then? And not trying to make gojo seem like he’s innocent but damn….Did she not think that far….. I feel like y/n was dead wrong for that 😕



Anonymous said

she drove satoru to the point of being suicidal for years i think she made him suffer enough especially when she saw how much he already changed for her during the first few months of her pregnancy. idk i know ppl say shes right to do it because she was traumatized well id argue gojo is just as traumatized if not more. it seems like hes paying for things he didnt even do bc why is he suffering more than eula? 😭 idk that was a shit move for yn no matter what the reason is thats his child and he could've been his savior but instead he was miserable and driven to kill himself over and over for 3 whole years while she was healing and about to get married.

Anonymous said

*TW: Mention of Suicide*

You don’t have to answer if this is a spoiler for pt 2, but was it really Y/N’s idea to fake an abortion or was it Gen and her dad’s idea? Cause going through all of that to keep Gojo away from her is ridiculously fucked up. Like I absolutely agree with her getting away from him and all, but hiding his child from him for 3 years??? Especially knowing how excited he was to be a father? I just… y/n should’ve known better than that, even if she doesn’t know about his attempt. Even as shitty as Gojo was to y/n, nobody deserves to be fooled into thinking their child is gone… I’m sooo conflicted☹️. Anywho I hope Gojo will be okay and no offense to y/n cause I love her but Toji deserves much better than someone who’s still hung up on her ex (as does she tbh). I can’t wait to see how this all pans out!!

Anonymous said

I support YN in her decisions

For the divorce, her leaving Japan, she had every right to do it

But I find depriving Gojo from his child is wrong. After their encounter YN can probably guess that Gojo’s mental state is sh1t so she knows that if he sees his son and find out about him his mentality will be even more fcked up which can also make him unalive himself which is basically what happened.

I find YN cruel in this chapter but I also understand that she has every reason to do it

Anonymous said

I love y/n, I’ve defended her a thousand million times and I think I always will, but for the first time in my life I’m gonna have to say that she’s in the wrong. Not only did she take satoru’s fatherhood away from him, but she did it in such a cruel way oh my god. The late term ‘abortion?’ Wow, I know she was in a desperate situation, I do, but I hope she felt shame hearing that mans cries outside of the hospital room she was in. That goes for her father, gen, leiri, literally anyone who kept up with this lie that Satoru’s child was dead.

And then to marry another man, which in itself isn’t a problem (honestly good for her) but then what? Would Toji raise the child as his own? Maybe the child wouldn’t call him papa, but wouldn’t he be the child’s main paternal figure??

Does anyone, if not y/n realize how cruel this is to satoru?

Say what you want about Gojo, but the mans had more than enough karma come his way. More than enough!! This all layered on top of his car accident and possible amnesia? Will he have to relive all of his pain?

Oh my god, I actually really hope y/n isn’t forgiven so easily for this. Because although I support her personal growth and happiness, Satoru truly never deserved to have his son taken from him like that, she heard him and still went through with it. Wow

Anonymous said

No because I understand why Yn might have wanted to keep the secret of having the baby, but making Gojo think she aborted it is actually insane. Like y’all literally cannot defend her actions. So what if you didn’t want to see him anymore? You literally absolutely trashed his mental health just like he did yours, and for what? To be an “independent woman?” Not worth it. She took away the opportunity to let a father care and love for his son, which I 100% think might have saved him from trying to KILL HIMSELF MULTIPLE TIMES. It’s so sad. They both fucked up (and I am in no way defending Gojo’s actions so don’t start y’all) but she took it to another level. AND THEN MARRYING TOJI?? Damn that really adds salt to the womb💀💀 Anyways I really do hope Gojo finds happiness because I believe he’s had enough karma. He deserves someone new who will care for him through everything, and I hope he looses his memory and forgets all about the drama. As for yn I hope she realizes her mistakes, but I will always hope she gets a happy ending too because it’s what she deserves after everything she’s went through. These people do not need to be together considering EVERYTHING, but whatever you do I’ll support. Keep up the good work ive been looking forward to Friday’s and Saturday’s each week

Anonymous said

Is so unfair to gojou was been lied to by y/n she did SOOO wrong in not telling him about his child. As much as gojou was an ass he deserved to know. 🥺

Anonymous said

omg saint…I feel horrible but a part of me is mad at y/n, u probably kno who this is cuz I commented it but it’s whatever, but anyways,, IDKK I just have been feeling so bad for gojou the past few chapters, makes me so sad :(( plus I’m a gojo fucker I can’t imagine that man sad - 🦚

Anonymous said

NAUR ?! now i don’t mean to be mean but HELLO ?! Y/N GIRL WHAT WERE YOU THINKING ?????? I CANT BELIEVE SHE KEPT GOJOU’S OWN CHILD A SECRET FROM HIM !?? also when she called him gojou instead of satoru :(((( but omg i can already tell how good sn2 is gonna be BUT THIS CHAPTER WAS SO SAD :((( y/n’s dad and gen hearing abt satoru’s accident like “RIP BOZO💯” LMAOOOO also if gojou gets amnesia i will literally d*e… like it’s so bittersweet to think that he’ll be like a brand new person regardless of if it’s for the better or worse bc his suffering has really made him his own unique character and it’s the basis of his relationships with so many people :( but it also allows for so many more opportunities ITS SO BITTERSWEET I TELL YOU!!! AAAAAAAA

anyways,,, onto more serious things… saint thank you so much for writing sn!!! it’s seriously one of my favorite fics of all time and it brings me so much comfort i reread it all the time!! i hope sn2 come out soon but please continue to take care of yourself and rest!! i appreciate the chapters, characters, the storyline, everything you wrote!!! you really went the extra mile and i hope sn2 comes out with a bang!! :> thank you again saint! :’)

yn’s side previously answered here !! once again, i’ll remain neutral regarding this discourse so i can also prevent any spoilers and also people are 50/50. but my two cents about satoru on this:

writing abt his downfall made me feel sorry for him especially as it’s affected his overall mental health . although she wasn’t aware abt him being suicidal after she left, it was horrible on gojo’s part to be deprived of his own child esp by means of faking an abortion (which again, like i said, will come haunt her next season). he definitely deserves better than that, but then again they also both hurt each other.

at the beginning of their marriage, he insulted her to her face, disrespected her, treated her horribly, blatantly cheated on her, shamelessly neglected her. now by the end of their marriage, she abandoned and pretty much ghosted him, lied about the abortion so he has no reasons to hold onto her, kept the baby away for some time thinking it’s for the best, disallowed any communication between them. they obviously are very different situations and have very different impacts, but that just shows that yn (like gojo) also has the capability to destroy him even twice as much as he destroyed her. was it acceptable? definitely not. and she’s not proud. neither is gojo proud abt his behavior in the first few months of their marriage. they make mistakes, they hurt each other, one may be cruel than the other, or maybe not—either way, this is satoru’s realization that he is not always the person to blame. that he isn’t an antagonist to his story bc yn can also be as selfish and flawed like him. that she, too, can make inexcusable decisions like he did.

[omiscurls]

hi! (this request is heavily inspired by a kdrama i just watched called sweet home lmao) could i request a childe x gn reader fic where childe and the reader r both severely injured and the reader had to kill someone for self defense and as theyre running away the reader feeling super guilty is like “i’m so terrible i killed someone” and childe is trying to comfort them and they find a place to rest while being both on the verge of death and the reader is like “i killed someone, i’m so scared that it’ll be my last memory”and the childe is like “try to forget abt it it’s ok” and the reader is like “u don’t think abt either too” (yk implying like oh don’t think abt the ppl you’ve killed before childe, bc im assuming he’s killed a lot of ppl) and he’s like ok with a sad smile and they die together in each other’s arms holding hands?)/?:))2 help this is wayyy to detailed i’m sry but if u want the reference scene it’s from this video , they show the specific scene in time stamps 0:57-2:56 again i’m so sorry if this is too detailed or if u don’t wanna write it!!! tysm <3

memory

a/n oh my god that is just my kind of angst, thanks for the request and i hope you'll enjoy!!

prompt: honestly? dying with tartaglia (that sounds like a creepy tv show's title and i'm proud of it)

contains: tartaglia

warnings: angst, death, blood, major character death, self-blame, murder, more blood, really a lot of dying and bleeding, please do not proceed if you're not comfortable with the topics

adrenaline was probably the last string that had your body moving and functioning in any way. the blood in your veins made you deaf, only capable of noticing the sounds of it pumping behind your ears, head pulsing like a bomb about to explode.

your whole body shook, and you felt a metallic taste on your tongue, covering your mouth with your hand to prevent throwing up, which you predicted would happen in a matter of seconds.

"hey!" you finally heard childe yell, sounding distant even still, when you lifted your gaze away from the body before you and noticed he was standing fairly close. "come on, move, or his buddies" he said pointing to the lifeless man beneath you "might just come to get revenge"

with that he took your arm by the waist and pulled you along with him.

you stumbled over your own feet, and almost fell down every couple of minutes. your lungs started to burn after mere seconds, and you couldn't even find breath to tell him to slow down. you also knew he couldn't, having better self-preservation instincts than you, he understood the situation you two were in better.

fuck.

you looked behind you, to the spot where blood painted the grass red under a pile of dead bodies, some of your allies, some of your foes, but from this kind of distance, you couldn't even make out which one was which. your gaze fell down to your hands, covered in sticky redness as well.

you just killed somebody.

it wasn't even the consequences that frightened you, it was the sheer act of life leaving his eyes before he fell down, of his pupils staring at you in one last beg for mercy before freezing like that for the eternity ahead, for how his body seemed to have gained weight in a matter of seconds, almost pulling you down with him. the ringing in your head got more intense as you choked on a strained sob.

"they're dead" you breathed out, making your partner laugh sarcastically.

"good guess" he answered, his grip on your arm loosening as the both of you climbed up a hill.

"no, you don't understand, they're- dead dead! i- i didn't think i-" you stumbled over your words, panic settling in your eyes as you tried to comprehend the situation.

"what, you didn't think that if you pierce a person through with a blade they're gonna die?" he asked rhetorically, back almost slamming against a tree, sliding down to the ground with a breath of relief. "fuck, looks like i got pierced, too" he noticed, looking down onto his side, the grey material of his uniform getting dark and sticky. he hissed, trying to lift it up, and gave up on his attempts, instead opting to look at you.

you didn't sit down, but kept staring forward with the most frightened expression he had ever seen you wear. eyes wide open as you searched for answers in thin air, hands shaking, moving up to cover your mouth.

“hey” he whispered way gentler than before, urging you to sit down in front of him “it’s okay, it was only self-defense. you did kill them, but you didn’t murder them or anything, it was kill or be killed”

his words held so much confidence in what he was saying, you almost felt comforted. he really did master the art of bending the truth to his liking, didn’t he?

“i did it, what if he was someone’s father, or brother, or whoever else, what if i just destroyed someone’s world? he was a human being just as much as i am, i had no right-“ you started relapsing into panic, hands gripping on your hair, head moving down to hide between your legs.

only then did tartaglia notice the huge wound right across the back of your thigh, and several others. fuck, he instantly thought, whoever did it knew what he was doing, cut you in a very specific place, with intent to kill.

he couldn’t even fight back the wave of anger coming crushing at him, but bit his lip instead of saying anything. there was no way the both of you could get to a safe place in time.

he used to be so passionate about continuing to live, normally he would’ve just throw you over his shoulder and run, until his legs gave out, but now, he didn’t even have the energy to stand up. he barely could move his hand, and the more he tried to fight it, the more tired he became.

the feeling of helplessness was eating him alive, both from not having any way of providing you safety, and for not protecting you earlier, not to mention how he couldn’t find the right words to say to you now.

“listen” he started carefully, waiting for you to stop sobbing. “it’s painful, killing someone. it leaves a hole inside you that you don’t know how to cover. it makes your thoughts twist and fight back against you, it makes you want to leave your own head for how bad you feel. it sucks, believe me, i know. you didn’t deserve to have to feel this shitty. i’m- i’m sorry. for not shielding you well enough.” he said bluntly, not a hint of comfort or the usual beating around the bush that he used every time he intended to coax you. just pure, brutal truth. for once.

“it’s okay” you mumbled quietly. your head felt heavy on your shoulders, and you felt how it started to fall off its support. the numbness in your legs, this sort of stressful feeling of being constantly out of air- “i don’t want to die, though”

the sentence felt like a whimper, a cry of help, but tartaglia knew there was exactly nothing he could do.

“am i gonna die?” your voice felt a little stronger, laced with fear, and you lifted your eyes back onto him, in search of a “no” that you knew you wouldn’t find. “i’m gonna leave this world with killing a man as my last memory” you laughed bitterly, before laugh became a cry, and tears mixed with sweat on the surface of your cheeks. “that’s the worst fucking death i could ever imagine”

“baby, look at me” he asked calmly “come here”

when you moved to sit on his side, his hand, sticky from blood, intertwined its fingers with yours, and squeezed tightly.

“look. we’re sitting on a hill, under a tree, the sun is high up in the sky, a meadow below us, it’s a perfect date!” he laughed so authentically, you almost believed it was true. “we’re on a dream date, isn’t that amazing? and look.”

with that, he tilted your head towards his, and kissed you softly and shortly.

“i love you.” he said in the calmest manner he could force out “is that a better memory?”

you placed your head on his side, attempting to hug him even a little bit, tears staining his uniform even more.

“i don’t want to leave you.”

“i’ll be right behind you. guarding your back, like i always do. after all, i promised to always protect you, right? death won’t change my plans.”

[stevienixxes]

first of all: hello . i was originally just going to leave you be bc this is your private blog and this is YOUR space and i don’t feel like i have the right to infiltrate the space where you do you. HOWEVER, i get incredibly irritated when you put words in my mouth so here is some clarification (and this will be the ONLY time i interact with this blog before i hide it from my view and leave you to it)

my post was referencing this one of yours:

and i did get very irritated at the sight of it bc first of all, i never said those things, and second of all, you’re putting words in my mouth. i did not want to reblog that and argue with you (see my previous reasoning) but this post appeared on my dash after i had interacted with your account prior and i might as well say something.

THAT post was directed at me. i know it was directed at me, you know it was directed at me, and i was irritated that instead of coming to me so we could sort this out and i can tell you what i was trying to say, you instead turned to a community of people you knew would side with you and further vindicate you and your angry. that’s not how mature people handle situations, especially situations that cause you a lot of stress. please try to be mature.

1) you can also not see in my head. if i am attempting to be mean or rude, you will KNOW bc i will be aggressive (as in i will say very obviously nasty shit that cannot be misconstrued as anything but mean). the “talking shit” thing you mentioned was NOT talking shit, it was me just saying “wow, it sucks that my fav villain character is turned into a pedo in 3/4 fics he appears in.” and to further that, I DID NOT KNOW IT WAS WRITTEN BY YOU. it was anonymous, and you wrote me as someone who specifically targeted you for doing that. i did not. i have written similar fics (i have not published them except for maybe one sh fic to the mgst fandom and orphaned it) as a way to cope with my own trauma and mental health. i never made that post to attack you or talk shit abt ur fic, instead i was just expressing one of my frustrations in a lighthearted way (bc that was its intended tone). and again, bc it genuinely irritated me when ppl put words in my mouth, i never said joseph wouldn’t do that. i said he was depraved, just not sexually and that was that (which was also a half joke).

2) stop with the tracy situation. the tracy situation is OVER, and it has BEEN over for quite some time. i have SEVERAL TIMES taken accountability for the things that i said to her, and while i am still vaguely hostile toward tracy bc she did call me a waste of oxygen, if she ever chooses to upload another dark fic, i will not interact with it. it’s called learning and growing and bringing up old shit that’s been done is a step in the wrong direction.

my question to you is this, can YOU see inside my head? you cannot, and that’s why communicating like mature people is very important. yes, i have a DNI proshippers because i prefer not to even look at that content bc it genuinely frustrates me. i have put and said several disclaimers on my PINNED POST to not take what i say at face value bc half of the time, i don’t take myself seriously and no one should either.

that’s my only statement to you on this bc this is your personal account where you do stuff that’s purposefully not on your main and i understand it was very shitty of me to totally invade this blog, but i did really want to talk to you abt this. if you would like to talk more, you can DM me on this blog.

genuinely, i am sorry for any distress i have caused you. i never meant it that way, and if you took it that way i am BEGGING you to just tell me and i could’ve responded with a quick “nah i didn’t mean it that way, mb” and eased maybe just a bit of that tension. i hope that you’re doing alright. i know the struggles of sh and having such a fragile mental state that absolutely anything could send you over the edge. i get it. the only way i got through it was when i asked the people causing the stressors in my life for clarification— sometimes it ended badly, sometimes it didn’t.

you don’t have respond if you want, that’s perfectly fine. but just read it, that’s all i ask of you

"just @ me" bitch there's 1-1000 people I am talking about at one time. I will not "just @ you" because there are about 20 other people I'd need to "just @". And because you actually don't know shit about who I'm talking to. Can you see inside my goddamn head (and fucking understand this is why I still cut and why I still think like this and no I can't stop stopping is not an option that is why I made an entirely separate blog for this shit and the thought of cutting myself open and bleeding out has not left even though I'm scared of dying and don't actually want to do it). And none of you are @ ing me anyways so fuck off.

[realcube]

soft haikyuu!! boys with a baddie* s/o  😈

characters:  yamaguchi, hinata, suga, akaashi, nishinoya & tendou

tw// swearing

*(a/n): anon requested a kinda sassy, sarcastic reader and verbatim ‘she is basically a salt bag, but she also has like some sugar’  so i simplified that down to baddie :) so the reader isn’t really a delinquent but they are a bit rough around the edges uffabvrslbv 

Tadashi Yamaguchi

he definitely thinks you’re really cool and he wants to be just like you :O

bc you give off ‘bad bitch who doesn’t care about what other ppl think about them’ energy and what he would give tO HAVE THAT!!

so that’s when he knew he needed to be your friend >:) 

so he was like ‘tsukki, go talk to (y/n) for me >:)’ thinking that was his first step to becoming confident pfft

luckily, god was on his side though bc the teacher rearranged the seats and you and him were sitting next to each other 

hence, he got the opportunity to talk to you without it seeming too forced

you both fell for each other so hard

like he would act tough to try impress you but you preferred his natural softness while you tried to act uncharacteristically docile so you wouldn’t scare him off but he liked you for your boldness 

it was a match made in heaven 💞

he eventually worked up the courage to ask you out one day and y’all have just been falling more ever since

although, that doesn’t mean yamaguchi’s forgotten one of the main reasons he wanted to be with you in the first place

‘please teach me your ways, (y/n)!’ he pleaded, his head resting on your lap so you had to cover his puppy-eyes with your phone

‘no, tadashi. firstly, you’re sweet and gentle- you’re just built like that. secondly, i don’t have any ‘ways’ to teach you!’

yamaguchi continued to pry, ‘then how are you just so effortlessly self-assured?’

‘who told you that, tadashi?’

‘no one.’ yamaguchi poked the back of your hand to get you to move it, ‘but remember that time one of the guys in our class tried to make fun of the size of your head and you told him to shut up?’

you rolled your eyes, setting your phone aside before placing a brief kiss on yamaguchi’s forehead, ‘he said he couldn’t see the board because of my ‘big head’, tadashi; that’s hardly an insult. also, what else could i have possibly said other than that?’

but then you remembered this is yamaguchi you’re talking to; if that was him, he’d probably apologise, move his head aside then cry in the bathroom or sumn.

‘i should be the one asking you why you’re so insecure. i mean, i know everyone is a little bit insecure about something but you just take it to a whole other level.’ you mused, absentmindedly massaging his scalp

yamaguchi frowned, ‘exactly! teach me how to stop being insecure.’

‘no please, no thank you?’ you inquired with a snicker, realising that your habits might of accidentally rubbed off on him

bc just a few weeks ago, he’d be thanking you for breathing the same air as him but now he didn’t even say ‘please’ when asking for a favour 

gasp

‘please teach me how to be resilient, (y/n).’

you chuckled, leaning down to whisper in his ear, ‘okay, since you’re so polite, i’ll tell you my secret - but promise not to tell anybody else!.’

‘i promise.’ yamaguchi replied without hesitation

‘okay, first thing you need to do is go to the depths of hell and find satan hims--’ 

yamaguchi let out a sigh as he realised that you weren’t being serious then playfully flicked your forehead away, ‘rude.’

you beamed, pressing another kiss upon his forehead, ‘i know~’

Shōyō Hinata

let’s not pretend hinata wasn’t shitting his pants when he first heard about you from kageyama

‘they called me a shitty setter the other day.’

but kageyama failed to mention the part where he cut you in line for lunch 🙄 mans had it coming

like hinata genuinely thought that if he came within a 5 foot radius of you, you’d literally come for volleyball career

plus, hinata knew he had a lot of things to be insults on (mostly, his height) so he decided to keep his distance at first 

but when he actually saw you - rather than a vague description that kageyama conjured - he kinda fell head over heels

well, not only bc of your looks - he isn’t that shallow

but the same day, you dropped your purse/wallet on the walk home and ,mhsince hinata was walking behind you, he acted as any good Samaritan would; picked it up then handed it to you 

then you said something along the lines of ‘thanks, shorty.’

not shawty. lord- shorty as in short with a y at the end

and whether you meant that as a dig or not was beyond him - but either way, he fkn adored it 

also it doesn’t matter whether you are taller or shorter than hinata- he is still short-stuff >:)

by some miracle he managed to ask you out successfully and he’s kinda been glued to you ever since

like he wants to spend every second that he’s not at volleyball club/school with you 

and if you tell him he’s being clingy, he’s going to cry-

nonono jk jk

he’d probably be a bit offended but then give you your space

also, you noticed how he was really endeared by the tad mean nicknames you gave him like ‘shorty’, ‘short stuff’ and ‘ginger’

the only ones he didn’t like was ‘boke’ or ‘dumbass’ bc it reminded him too much of kageyama + tsukishima

so you started calling him these things - teasingly - more frequently 

and he loves it ngl

as long as you aren’t truly mean to him, he enjoys being called these things by you for some reason

so, his first mistake was assuming that you’d like being called these joking nicknames just as much as he does

you were helping him with english once and it’s definitely not his strong suit

same, hinata

‘look at that! you spelt all your vocabs correctly, for a change.’ you commented, peering over the desk at the paper sitting in front of him

his eyes widened and his lips curled into a hopeful smile, ‘really?!’

‘no.’ you snickered, pointing to the first word on the list. ‘your word was taxis - you wrote ‘texas’, dumbass.’

hinata let out an exasperated sigh, propping his elbow onto the table to rest his cheek on his palm

then, he had an idea ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

‘alright, stupidface, should i rewrite them?’

you gasped, furrowing your brows at what he just called you 

for a moment, you thought you might’ve misheard him but upon observing his smug expression, you realised that he really did just call you a ‘stupidface’ 

so you burst out laughing 

obviously, hinata was rather shocked at your reaction

‘hey! what’s so funny?’

‘di- di- did you just call me a ‘stupidface’?!’ you panted in-between cackles, clutching your stomach to soothe the butterflies

hinata jutted out his bottom lip and folding his arms over his chest, ‘yeah, what about it?’

‘that is so cute!- do it again!’ you demanded, enthusiastically slamming your fist against the desk

‘IT’S NOT CUTE!’ hinata barked, playfully flicking your forehead 

once you caught your breath, you took hinata’s hands and looked him dead in the eyes, ‘you’re fucking adorable, shōyō.’

the hoarseness of your voice making it sound like somewhat of a threat 

‘you’re adorable-er, (y/n).’

‘i know.’

Kōshi Sugawara 

he admires how strong and independent you are/seem 😍

and the fact you don’t go out of your way to suck-up to ppl 

he kinda wants to be like you in that sense but unlike yamaguchi, he accepts that he’s way too much of a people pleaser for that lol

so he sticks to admiring you from afar

then he musters up the courage to ask you out with some chocolate cupcakes; the same kind that you accidentally got on his blazer on the first day of second year :))

and you say yes (╯▽╰ )

also a big part of your relationship is aggressive positivity ✨😡

like if he makes a joke about looking crusty, you’ll promptly respond, ‘shut up, kōshi - you look so hot.’

or if you berate yourself for getting a poor mark on a test, suga will interrupt with no hesitation, ‘fuck off, (y/n), you’re literally so smart and hard working - you’ll probably get 100% on the next test.’

also when he’s around you he switches between canon and fanon suga rapidly 

one second he’s like ‘aww, are you stressed bc of school? i’ll bake you some cookies, baby--’ then you’ll jokingly make a comment about his post-practise B.O and he’ll literally get so defensive

‘WOW I OFFER YOU SOMETHING NICE AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?! STOP BEING SO MEAN TO ME, COMING FOR MY INSECURITES LIKE THAT  - I WAS JUST ABOUT TO GO FOR A SHOWER ANYWAY GEEZ’ ┗|｀O′|┛

ISVBFELIAEA plz he is too much ✋

he just prides himself in smelling like ocean breeze 99% of the time so you really didn’t need to hurt his feelings like that when you caught him lackin c’mon LMAO

‘wait so are we making cookies or not?’ you inquired, stifling a snicker at his little diva moment

‘ofc we are 🥺’  

he’ll probably use red icing on one of the cookies to draw a ‘>:(’ face then hand it to you, saying that he drew you

he’ll also break of bits of his own cookie and feed it to you’re doing something that requires both hands like typing, homework, dishes etc

whether you eat it from his hand happily, decline his offer or bite his fingers off is really up to you 

and over time, he probably picks up on some of your traits too

especially being more straight-forward 

the team will never forget the first time he was chatting about something with the vice principle and ‘sorry, but i don’t remember asking’  fell from his lips 

everyone was shocked :o

tsukishima, tanaka & noya were so impressed tho

and so were you IVBEAOGVRN

‘wow, suga. you wanna be me so bad.’ you gloated, pressing your hand against your chest 

‘GAEIVBSLR leave me alone.’ he growled, toiling over the apology letter he was currently writing to the vice principal

Keiji Akaashi 

he wanted you to be the dark academia to his light academia pfft

it was very much love at first sight btw 

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ soulmates  *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

the embodiment of opposites attract

he’d write you a poem/love letter to ask you out lol

‘you’re so sappy and lame, akaashi’ you scoffed in attempt to hide the smile that was tugging at the corners of your lips as your eyes finally parted from the letter to meet his 

he couldn’t help but chuckle, ‘so is that a no?’

‘-nonono!’ you shook your head rapidly, hastily correcting him, ‘it’s a yes.’

phew 

honestly, he acted all nonchalant on the outside, but akaashi would’ve been devastated if you rejected him

like he constantly tried to remind himself that you would probably say no, i mean he thought you were way out of his league. plus, it didn’t seem as though you were as much of a romantic as him

but fortunately, apart of him stayed hopeful 

now he was cuddled up beside you on a cold winters’ evening, casually drinking is hot cocoa as you both watched a disney movie (❤´艸｀❤)

he’s the type to not even care or retort if you call him stupid or whatever

as long as your context makes it clear that you’re joking 

he’d never call you those names back though ✋

to him, you’re always gonna be ‘love’ or ‘sweetheart’

also, he’s probably equally as sarcastic as you so that’s not an issue 

ngl he probably gets really insecure when you’re hesitant about PDA tho

like he just wants to hold your hand but he doesn’t want to force it upon you and make you uncomfortable 🥺

but also, perhaps you’re too embarrassed by him to kiss him in public 

so please occasionally reassure him that you love him (；′⌒`) that always washes all his worries away 

Yū Nishinoya

it’s literally canon that he likes ppl who show 0 interest in him (kiyoko, tsukki etc)

so it shouldn’t be surprising that he’s all over you after that one time you called him a midget 

to be fair, he had it coming - he stepped on your fkn toe >:(( 

he does everything in his power to impress you and get you to take back what you said 

‘hey, (y/n)!’ he calls out to you in the middle of the bustling lunch hall, ‘could a midget do this?!’ *backflips off the table*

or when he demanded that you come to one of his volleyball games so you could see what he’s capable of and whenever he makes a good receive, he turns to look at you in the stands and winks/ points

or when he actually studies for a test just so he can flaunt his slightly above average grade to you 

‘look, (y/n), i got a 49%!’ he waves a paper in front of your face, which you stare at before lowering your gaze onto your 95%.

but ngl..he really brings out that lil’ bit of sugar in you 

‘well done, noya.’ you choked out feeling your dignity slowly fade in your chest

he’s just so enthusiastic and charming how can you be mean to him 🥺

to his face, at least

as soon as he leaves you beef about him to your friends

‘he is so annoyingly bodacious - audacious! why does he feel the need to show me all of his achievements like i care??? and why does he have to be so cute while doing it???’

‘do you think you maybe have a teeny-tiny crush on him?--’

‘never.’

nishinoya probably asks you out pretty casually like ‘lemme take you bowling this saturday and i can show how good i am at that too!’ he offered with a bright, bold smile

‘sure, whatever.’

‘kay! it’s a date!’

‘wut-’ but before you could question him further, he sped off

nishinoya really likes to fluster and tease you 

you’ll be sitting waiting for him at the park or whatever and he’ll swagger in and shout something like ‘how’s my gorgeous s/o doing today?! i hope you weren’t waiting for me too long!--’

then you’ll have to quickly shush him before everyone with a 7 feet radius is looking at you judgementally 

he also likes to call you the most extra nicknames just to see you blush

‘good morning, my beautiful, divine, radiant god(dess) who i worship every morning of my life!~’ he sung as he waltzed into your classroom to spend lunch with you 

but he only does that bc you are so dismissive of his advances lol

like if you openly adored his kisses and nicknames, he’d probably do them sparingly  

oh and he calls you ‘my hunny bunny’ too - don’t ask why 

Satori Tendō

you gave him your number/snap for a project and he’s one of those ppl that just assumes that y’all are friend now lol

but that wasn’t nessicarily a bad thing bc you thought he was really cool and you were happy that you still got to talk to him even after the project was over 

not that you’d ever admit it tho (╹ڡ╹ )

he’d send you cursed memes at 3AM and you’d reply like ‘mood’  then he’d fall for you 

you’d also have random, deep convos in the middle of the night 

hence he fell for you even harder 

especially bc he basically just shared his whole life story with you 

he’d spill out all his insecurities to you then you’d reply like ‘ok’ then he knew he had to ask you out bc you’re the first person not to have left him on read

so he asked you to meet him in the park and you’d reply ‘no lol  🖕 ‘ 

then he’d just smile at his phone like ‘wow, they’re so in love with me’

he’s just so used to his friends being mean to him jokingly that he can’t even tell if you’re being serious or not

so he goes to the park at the time he put forward, and ofc you’re there even though you said no bc you didn’t want tendō to show up for nothing 🥺

he was ecstatic that you were there and he probably brought you an energy drink or lollipop then asked you out

and ofc you said yes

i mean- you had kinda developed a soft spot for the poor guy 

you’d let him get away with certain things that others couldn’t around you 

for instance, you’d let him borrow your pencils/pens despite usually not allowing others to get ahold of your stuff

but that was just coz like- he’s your trustworthy bf- not some random classmate who had no reason or motive to be kind enough to return your pencils 

also, you’d let him cut in front of you in the lunch line and he did the same for you

oh and please bully anyone who makes fun of him 🙏

[jhan-jy]

after this kinoko stream, im taking a nap and hoping i dont remember this 

i joined the stream expecting dadboyhalo content, instead im left with bs so no thanks. not joining a kinoko stream again, no matter what 

maybe its just me but as a builder, i hate it when ppl destroy my stuff or other ppls because we took time to actually make those things. no matter how silly or shitty it looks, it still took effort

also, i just generally dont like the plot of kinoko kingdom. legit who tf is gonna join it? its so far away, and it has literally nothing to offer? //rant below 

People who are part of it dont even log on that much, Karl doesnt even grind for materials. Theres also no point in recruiting members? why cant it just be a simple hide out for Karl and his fiances + George? It still serves the same purpose but adds more to it. why are they hiding? why is george there? george and sapnap talk about how they miss the old server and their friends maybe?? karl actually having to hide what his doing?? theres so much potential and karl doesnt execute it. hbomb calling him out for all the failed attempts at making a country? yeah idk, karl just brushes it off then again, i guess im being too invested in something i dont really see the appeal.  Im only there for bad but i think its better if i just read my friends’ liveblogs

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

I mean I'm sure your minions do send asks to me since I'm pretty sure we have a lot of the same people following us. 😂

But Hopes Lorenz was good!!! In fact, he was the only brain cell in the entire route!!! Poor man was too smart and, by proxy of being the only smart person in the room, had any and all of his good ideas shot down via everyone changing the subject to act like idiots (remember when he suggested they leave Edelgard for dead and everyone else dodged the topic and went lel lorenz u silly goose u sound like (claude or edelgard by your choice, neither of which are even remotely accurate assessments that the entire group ends up agreeing merrily with). Seeing this, Hopes Lorenz gives up and just goes with it because he's too smart for the dumb ppl to listen to. :(

Yes, I am (still) very bitter at how actually stupid the characters are in GW (as well as their whole uwu I feel soooo bad having to fight people from the Empire who are invading Leicester, and then them cheering and having a very joyful time slaughtering Kingdom soldiers and invading them with no remorse or thought whatsoever, except the single moment Claude felt bad for killing a man who sacrificed himself to save his friend and his friend's son... and then proceeding to basically say oh but we're gonna kill more of them anyway so ANYWAY. Then his line to Sylvain when Sylvain tells him he's gonna pay, after mind you Sylvain previously made a point to express to his friends his burning hatred toward any and all invaders, is basically just uwu sorry buddy it's war (it didn't have to be, y'all are the ones who invaded), and iirc if Judith dies he's like uwu we've all lost something (implying it's Okay to kill others because they've all suffered too, so it's fine if you make someone else suffer!)).

NOW THEN, on to the VW issues!

I think part of that was less Lorenz himself and more... they just needed someone who disagrees with Claude generally to disagree with Claude. Having anyone else say something about it would mean someone else disagreed with Claude, which was out of character for all GDs except Lorenz (and maybe Lysithea at most. Leonie doesn't care as long as she can show off her Captain Jeralt skills). It also promotes the Rhea and Church BaD narrative the series forces down your throat at any and all moments it's able.

That is to say, I don't think it's something Lorenz himself would normally believe, but they needed someone to believe it to have a counterargument against Claude to promote the Church BaD narrative. No idea why they kept that up at that point, seeing as the Church was allied with Leicester, but they do so there's that unfortunately.

I do think him not trusting Almyra is valid, because as I've mentioned before (to you I think, in a response to a post/ask of yours?), Almyra is viewed extremely negatively in Fodlan because of the constant raids. In every light of them we know about, including from even Cyril himself who was born there and lived there long enough to evidently form negative opinions about it, the place is just pretty nasty. Cyril mentions being happier in Fodlan and feeling like he has a purpose (at least once he's out of Goneril slavery).

I know I've mentioned this (Almyra being an apparently shitty place with shitty people) before on my blog at some point because I know I've talked about how fucking racist it all is, but... if you go plainly from what we know about Almyra and take out the fact that the writing for it was racist, we do know it's not the best place ever and even Claude has only really had negative experiences there (including the weekly Sunday assassination attempts against him).

Also kind of (read: very extremely) gross how Almyra treats Claude as being evil and disgusting for being half blood of another land when that's literally exactly what Byleth is and Byleth is the white person who is viewed by any and all as amazing, stupendous, wonderful and unironically godly. BUT ANYWAY.

Lorenz also could have made several points[...]

See, that's the thing about Lorenz. His character as we know it should be arguing these points, but he's the only character who actively disagrees with Claude/doesn't trust him, so he's the only one who can bring up these points. In a way it's pretty ooc imo for them to give him just whatever line they need at the time even when he should know better, but then... they do that a lot. Especially with every single solitary recruitable character in CF (fuck CF Ignatz and I hope he suffers for the rest of his life! :D)

I will say I think the urgency about the Opera company is valid since they're immediately in an area of Edelgard's reach. If they turned against her, she'd have them slaughtered pretty quickly because they'd have no time to escape. We (I think it was us lol) also iirc talked once about how it's implied that Edelgard was having all the people from the Southern Church killed who tried to run away and take refuge elsewhere.

I think based on that alone it's pretty reasonable that the Opera company was in extreme danger if they made their political stance known if it was not in favor of her war (which I can't see why it would be, since they're civilians who have nothing to do with it, but she made her point in the Lonato chapter that she'd sacrifice her citizens for her own selfish goals soooo).

Considering that, Gloucester could've had time to prepare some things as needed if needed, and if there was a dispute between father and son, on Edelgard's side it would be irrelevant because it was ultimately Erwin in charge and everything, including his allegiance, was his call alone and not Lorenz's. If Lorenz left, Gloucester would still be "hers" until whenever Erwin died/retired; in which case she'd probably just have someone else replace him and then it would actually be hers and not just hers by proxy. That said, I think that's why there was less urgency for Gloucester overall.

iirc after the Lonato thing he can be pissed at Billy when you reply with something like “it had to be done”?

He actually gets pissed regardless of what you say, i.e. the line is still the same.

didn't they actually cut a line in localized hopes where sylvain basically said that lmfao

Yeah, it's really annoying the way they spin everything to be "well maybe Edelgard is in the right after all" at every possible chance they can (woman literally basically says Claude can't rule Fodlan because he's a foreigner, which by itself is racist as fuck and also completely ignores the fact that he's half Fodlanese and has lived there and studied about it and considers it his home... and then they jam the nail in the coffin with their writers' obsession with Edelgard and have him fucking agree). Dimitri wasn't always in the right after all, except... that's obvious and he admits to it, eventually choosing to atone for it.

Then when it comes to Rhea they do the exact opposite and all good things she does for anyone ever is portrayed in a negative light at some point by someone in the story. People also don't understand red herrings, mainly because Jeralt is Good Dad and is therefore automatically correct about anything and everything he says about BaD Rhea. Instead of, you know, Jeralt being wrong and the story making it clear that he was and that no, Rhea isn't the big bad. Unfortunately they started off that way with the red herring but then ended up making the red herring the "truth" - in quotations because it's not and the story tells you it's not, but they keep pushing that narrative simultaneously.

In Hopes they have Edelgard in her support with Dimitri saying "she'd like to think she also takes responsibility for her actions".

Two things here:

This is essentially an example of Edelgard giving a non-answer. She doesn't admit that she's not taking responsibility, so she uses that she "would like to think she is" to make it sound like she is. It's an avoidance tactic, because she can't confidently outright say she also (like Dimitri, who outright says he does take responsibility when talking to her) does take responsibility. That is, she doesn't and she knows she doesn't, so she can't confidently say she does without knowing she's lying about something regarding herself (she can lie about others, but doesn't want to lie about herself).

The writers unfortunately stick this in here because they also don't want to admit that she doesn't. They want to keep marketing her as a hero in this game, basically removing the entire concept they started with in Houses about her being a villain. If they were to have her admit she doesn't, it paints her in a bad light, which they apparently don't want... but they know she doesn't, so they use the avoidance tactic to make it sound like she does or would be willing to.

So the moral of the story is basically that Lorenz can be used to act ooc at any time it's needed and used as the guy we can get mad at (and the dialogue makes a point of saying we should do that), but Edelgard must always stay in character because she is always correct about anything and everything, and if she were ooc then something she says wouldn't be correct anymore.

Lorenz was a better character than what they gave him to work with in Houses, and in Hopes, when he was given that chance to work with what he really was, they had the characters just ignore him for the sake of fulfilling the Edelgard-is-right centric plot of GW's second half. Which like... really fucking sucks that half of Claude's route is literally just a second route of Edelgard-is-right-centric.

It's still wild to me that people will go to bat for the nothing characters that are Randolph and Fleche as proof of Dimitri being bad; we know next to nothing about them, they have miniscule screentime, what little we do know of Randolph paints him as human scum who'd do horrific things if it meant a chance at a promotion, and Fleche illogically only ever holds a grudge against someone for killing her brother if that someone is AM!Dimitri, with her completely vanishing from the game in every other route.

Eh,

I'd say they play the same purpose than this random child in TS in Roland's story - at this point, both lords want vengeance, and they have to face someone who also wants (misdirected!) vengeance at them, smth smthg like war sucks because people die.

But it's completely wasted in FE16, because, as you said, Randy isn't a random or a civilian or a war orphan, he is a general leading an attack on refugees/civilians/randoms to gain more fame, and dies in the process.

Now, can we say Flèche's anger and death are ultimately directed at Randolph, who died for nothing and took his sister down with him in his quest for "muhrit" ? Or are we supposed to think that this scene is important because Dimitri, the Blue Lord, isn't supposed to fall as low as the Imperial Army - something he comes close to (apparently?) ?

And yet again, it completely fails.

Because for one Randolph - who also had a family and loved ones - we have 50 Waldos and Baldis, whose lives aren't given any fuck about.

We don't see a war prisoner, or an Adrestian civilian accusing Supreme Leader of having sent her/his wife/husband/daughter/son to death with a conquest they never asked and trying to off her.

Only Dimitri receives this backlash from - invaders who wanted to invade and suddenly remember they have loved ones so are very sad when their loved ones dies - Flèche, but not Claude nor Billy, as you rightfully pointed out.

And Supreme Leader never receives any backlash - or wake up call - from a real third party/civilian/casualty who could have done the exact same thing.

Emile mentions how, during her attack, the Holy Grounds near Garreg Mach were turned in a slaughterhouse, why don't we have any civilian who survived from that try to take a jab at Supreme Leader? Waldi's best friend? Baldo's mother? A war captive from Leicester/Faerghus or a conscripted Adrestian?

I laughed about it with friends earlier, and again with the teatime paralogue, but it truly feels as if only 1/3rd (since the church doesn't count) of the cast will face consequences for the war and suffers backlash from the constant fighting (they didn't even start!).

Whenever you have to deal with serious stuff in Fodlan, it'll be for the BL members.

The rest? Will sip tea, talk nonsense, try to solve "mysteries" and live as if nothing is happening in the background.

Just imagine how both deer routes could have been much more impactful and interesting - instead of being a recycled Billy route with a different infodump at the end - if Raphael's sister popped up to a War Council, asking Claude to stop coddling the Empire because their lands were invaded, her grandfather put to Aymr and her inn destroyed by the Imperial Army, or how Ignatz's older brother discovers how Adrestia is burning pieces of art and history and every material related to Leicester and Faerghus history because they want to push an "Adrestia Eternal" narrative. Heck, Claude could even discover more "lore" by picking a Leif route, sort of rescuing the people "handpicked" to become new Baldos and Waldis, discovering the secret of the artificial crest stones and maybe having an infiltration map where, lo, instead of receiving an info dump, they maybe witness Rhea being turned in a relic or used to "produce" artificial crest stones.

War BaD, but only when we can make the BL suffer for it, for the rest, it's just a bgm.

And even then, it can't be too critical of Supreme Leader, because she was made to sell alts in FE heroes or dubious Cipher Cards.

"Supreme Leader", "cute girls" and "I want to see how Faerghus and its knights will deal with the aftermath of the Tragedy while defending against the invading forces".

Tl; dr : Flèche and Randolph are named, which is a cheap way to make people care for them despite their role in the plot, but the demonic beasts and the civilians dying aren't mentionned nor talked about.

Hell, why do you think I gave names to the artificial demonic beasts? The game doesn't want you to think too much about them, but if I talk about Baldo and Waldi, maybe the fandom will?

[pray4jensen]

hey i’m gonna stay on anon bc i don’t want that person to be able to claim ‘oh no that’s a lie’ but this person who made that fake article claimed to not really know how this would go over and also that cockles bloggers are weird and uh. i have a pretty well known cockles blog and they follow me. so. maybe it’s to make fun of me idk could be but at the VERY least they Know

oh mann yeah where to even begin oh boy,,,,,,i guess let’s just break it down, shall we??

other ppl have kindly informed me of the strange FAQ that this person’s written on their blog attempting to validate their shitty actions, but it’s a long list of what seems to be insults and non-apologies and vague-blogging about various asks i’ve answered on my blog which is weird because i literally blocked them as soon as i saw their fake post so clearly they’re still popping up here by other means ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  

unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like this person is capable of owning up to their actions and they have really poor excuses for everything they’ve done. they claim they can’t be ableist because they’re neurodivergent, and claim their actions can’t be hurtful to the queer community because they’re bisexual. they also say their actions couldn’t hurt the individual in question that they made a fake coming out post about because jensen apparently doesn’t use social media so it doesn’t matter if they’re out there slandering him because as long as everybody but him sees it, it’s totally okay. 

i don’t even have the energy to explain how super yikes this reasoning is. 

another fun thing they do to justify their actions is by talking about how great they are by mentioning how ‘ridiculously large’ (their exact words) that their follower count is and how ‘it’s not deflating any time soon’ which is always a great way to show one’s humility if your name is donald trump. unfortunately, since their presence was virtually unknown in this fandom just six months prior, the likelihood that they have a ‘ridiculously large’ amount of followers is slim to none. they also take time to answer every FAQ question with a mention of how weird cockles shippers are which shows how mature they definitely are and how well-versed they are in the concept of being respectful of other people’s fictional ships and interests.

lastly, they say they think their post is still funny and not harmful, and that they’re not backtracking. that must be really true considering a mutual just informed me that they just changed their url back to virginalbehemoth, no doubt hoping to hide from the consequences of their shitty actions. they also made sure replies for their FAQ are turned off so that no one can point out exactly how poorly worded their answers are.

tldr: they definitely got a lot of backlash and they definitely know they made a mistake, but instead of being a decent human being by acknowledging their actions and issuing a proper respectful apology, they’ve instead chosen to belittle anyone who approaches them with valid concerns which only continues to highlight how horrible their original post truly was 

[6ad6ro]

there's a lot of posts about piracy going around rn. so here's mine:

anti-piracy arguments are almost always classist. you shouldn't need to be rich to be happy. we were all born into capitalism. it's not voluntary. many of us don't have parents or other support networks keeping us afloat. poor people still deserve to have nice things. i could care less about keeping a system running smoothly that keeps most people poor and only few people rich.

if you work a shitty, low-paying job, then a simple monthly streaming service fee is YES actually too much to ask. no i don't care if your fav big company loses "potential" money from people who couldn't afford to buy them to begin with.

if there wasn't such a thing as "poverty"? if people could generally AFFORD to go out and easily get the things they want and need? obviously piracy wouldn’t be much of an issue at all. it's always frustrating to hear anti-piracy arguments from people who ignore how CRAZY expensive cost of living has become. again, usually the biggest anti-piracy peeps are either naive rich kids (who have things paid for), rich ppl who STAY rich by keeping things broken like they are, and the poor people they’ve brainwashed into being submissive hosts to their parasitic behavior.

in a world like this, where people are overworked and tired? with very few tangible goals available in their future? people NEED entertainment to stay sane. it's literally a mental health issue. yes, in a way, you NEED that funny show to inspire yourself to keep going. that game you can't afford otherwise? will help you relax after a hard day. don't let some disney mouthpiece tell you shouldn't download lion king if it'd help calm you down, especially when the people running that company could probably afford to have a private zoo in their backyard.

there's ALSO the big issue of control. as companies move further and further into streaming and cloud technologies? ownership has become a huge issue. greedy companies are finding more and more ways to nickel and dime people over long periods of time rather than get a one-time fee. it makes them more money, they don't have to actually GIVE customers anything (copies of data are free to them). and customers are left with nothing to show for it after-the-fact. this means that even though entertainment is being produced way more than the past? i’d argue people have LESS access to the entertainment they want for how much they’re paying. because it’s all temporary.

drm and limited use is becoming a norm. meaning? it's harder and harder for people to "own" their favorite things even if they COULD afford it. your favorite movie might simply cease to exist in 20 years. your favorite game might become nothing but a fragmented memory.

"piracy" solves this. backups. ownership. it takes control away from companies who abused that power. and puts it back in your hands. when nintendo stopped making their back catalogue available? and went around shutting down all the emulation sites? i was thankfully in the clear. because i download and archived many of my favorite things. in many cases i own cartridges of my favorite games already? but those can break, or in my case, get caught in a flood. but due to piracy, i can still play "mario 64" to pull myself away from suicidal thoughts. and i'm not limited by nintendo randomly deciding to remove it from the switch store and take the cartridges off of store shelves? in order to drive up their yearly profit via copycatting the methods used for the "disney vault" scam (look it up).

i am someone who tends to enjoy things from other countries. but it can be INCREDIBLY restrictive to try to go through "official" channels attempting to pay for them. if i want that old, relatively unpopular 80s japanese prog rock album? i'm just stuck. i HAVE to hope someone is sharing it online. but this often applies to new things as well. "licensing" is generally INCREDIBLY stupid, especially when it comes to other regions. do you REALLY want simple licensing issues to stand between you and your potential new favorite anime? and in many cases, the distributors just don't care enough to make the thing available globally. and no, i don't think this should mean we all just "miss out".

one of the biggest issues we are experiencing online at the moment? is one of censorship. governmental censorship, religious censorship, and maybe worst of all? corporate censorship. i'm not talking about "bring back racist imagery" etc (but that DOES play a part). i'm more talking... rewriting history. edits. removal. for example, it shouldn't be left to some corporation to decide whether or not a sex scene in a movie is deemed "too racy" for today's audience. if somebody creates an amazing album, but then commits some awful unrelated act later, that shouldn't mean that album should be made unavailable. in many cases, old media can even TEACH us what NOT to do. we gain nothing by erasing history. and corporations are never doing it to be moral. they're only following required guidelines in order to maximize profit. “fake showings of morality” to keep up appearances and keep all potential buyers buying. piracy can give you the OPTION of access to unedited works, or things that have been removed from circulation.

piracy can negate corporate control and artificial-scarcity. create opportunities for absorbing other culture's art without having to deal with availability issues in your country. it circumvents corporate and governmental censorship. and helps you archive the art that makes your life worth living.

finally... the "but it's stealing and stealing is wrong" argument is invalidated by the fact that, by ANY moral compass? these companies are STEALING from US. constantly. by a LOT. look at the way any big company is run. the way it leeches off of it's customer base. the offshore tax havens... does THAT seem okay to YOU?! if someone went around stealing all the food and locking it up, would you REALLY consider "breaking in" to get some so that u didn't starve as "stealing"? don't pretend that you don't NEED escapism and entertainment to get by. you know that you do.

the only people that piracy COULD hurt? is small, independent artists. who, if you actually listen to them, would rather you send them money directly? or buy merch. etc. because companies usually take SUCH an awful cut that it’s better to find alternate ways of supporting them. if you use reasonable context with what you decide to download and share? it’s fine! like i might buy a depeche mode vinyl or two? or a shirt. or go to a concert. but i’ll pirate that $1000 rare box set. because i just can’t AFFORD that kind of excess. and my income doesn’t dictate how big of a fan i am of their music. as long as you chip in when you can to your favorite creators? it’s actually fine. if i didn’t pirate, i wouldn’t be into 95% of the artists i’m currently into. i’ve spent so much on media that it’s almost embarrassing... my argument might not be entirely black and white? but i can safely say that piracy’s positives GREATLY outweigh it’s negatives. most research done has shown time and time again that it doesn’t really hurt creators. if anything, it’s the way greedy companies REACT to the idea of file sharing that hurts those creators. it really is an argument of big corporations trying to make sure they keep ALL the money. and it has almost nothing to do with art or artist’s rights. so please keep sharing everything. download away. for the sake of your own sanity, and generations down the line. because corporations don’t care about you. they don’t care about artists. and they don’t care about maintaining easy access to the art. they just want money, regardless of the cost to everyone else’s happiness. and if you can afford to PAY for it regularly? you should consider yourself very lucky. so maybe stop shitting all over poor people who unfairly have less access to what you already have. everybody deserves to be happy.

[wri0thesley]

many many anons under the cut bc i didn’t want anyone to feel like i was ignoring them and i wanted to respond to u all! warning for small text too, it was so long i wanted to make it look smaller fgbnjkgkjn

Anonymous asked: NAT... you can write WHATEVER you want! It's your blog, and I hope that rude anons can learn to respect that. I used to be on your blog just for jjba content too, so when you started getting into jjk I was indifferent but eventually you dragged me into jjk so hard!! I already like bnha, so seeing you write for it only made me happier! I hope that you continue to write whatever make YOU happy:) ❤and yes, longer fics certainly doesnt mean it's better, quality over quantity

ahh i’m happy that you are here for all three!! i always feel so accomplished when someone is like ‘your constant screaming made me think about jjk <3′. all three of the fandoms are fairly popular and i tag everything v carefully so i hope people who do use the filtering find that useful!!! 

Anonymous asked: Goodness gracious. People really be out there thinking they're entitled to dictating what kind of content you should be making

i think part of it might be that i do take requests so people feel like they have like . . . a certain right to certain kinds of my content? i take requests mostly bc they keep me motivated, i like making content for ppl who cant find what they want bc i’ve Been There, but maybe people think i am a pushover? idk i am just trying to have a good time!!!

Anonymous asked: Hi. I only started following you a few days ago but please ignore that rude anon. People are so fucking entitled towards writers it's insane. I recently had someone throw a fit for "spoiling" something in my fanfic, even though the fic was about a manga-exclusive character, so what did they expect?? Overall I've really enjoyed your writing so random assholes coming to guilt you is just a shitty thing that happens. Keep going with what you wanna do.

ah gosh anon i’m sorry about that :(. i’m always super careful tagging spoilers and stuff but like, if someone clicks on a fic about say, naoya or the steel ball run boys and is mad that i spoil something they havent found out yet . . . yeah thats on them fgbnkjgfkjn

Anonymous asked: That...that anon had the nerve to say "we". The fuck?! No no no anon, YOU'RE the only one talking and you're just talking for yourself, don't you dare try and lump us other anons/followers up with you to make yourself look like you're right. We love you nat and we appreciate you. It's your blog, you're allowed to write about whoever and whatever. This brain dead anon just needs to either go read someone else if they're that salty or write their own stuff if they're that impatient.

gosh i WISH some of my mad anons would just write their own stuff honestly. idk if this anon thought they were talking for everybody but i guess they expected anons to agree with them and not be mad at them. i appreciate u anon ;_;

Anonymous asked: Just want to say that ily and you’re one of the best jojo fanfic writers in my opinion 💗 I don’t think you’re half assing jojo fics and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being multi fandom. A lot of jojo blogs have started posting about jjk so it’s not as if you’re the only one. I’m not sure why you get hate like this but I think it’s just because you’re one of the popular writers and that makes people bitter for whatever reason. Keep being you and posting about the things that make you happy 💕

honestly after so long writing for jojo - i’ve written well over 200 jojo reader insert fics - sometimes it feels like i’m retreading stuff, and that’s when i take a break bc i dont wanna half-ass stuff!!! i love all of my fellow jojo friends who are posting about jjk too, i appreciate them <3. 

Anonymous asked: Hey my dude, ur writing has really grown since the jojo days and its better and awesome seeing u become happier to branch off and write in different fandoms 🤌🤌 those stupid anons are just boring farts that couldnt be bothered making their own content 😤😤 is it possible to block them to ease ur mind?

hello anon!! i run a statcounter for IPs but it doesnt always work for ppl who access through the tumblr app, i don’t think; a lot of the anon hate i get i just use the ‘block’ option, but last night got to me because i’ve been getting that kind of writer a lot which is . . . a bad look for the jojo fandom who are, as a whole from the ones i’ve interacted with, lovely!!! <3

Anonymous asked: People often forget, the person behind art or writing, is just another regular fan. You deserve to be happy with what you create and we should be thankful you share your talent with us. You also have right to change your main interests, and it's very normal thing. Jojo is one of the MANY things that you write for and all you get from that is a like or share. Its not your job. It's your fun thing to do, in spare time. You haven't betrayed anybody. That person was just rude, selfish and bored.

i am just a person doing my best!!! anime fanfic is one of many interests i have and i already devote a lot of time to it honestly, i love when people tell me they’ve enjoyed something i made bc it makes it feel worthwhile but equally it gets to me a lot when people are rude because i am usually trying my hardest. 

Anonymous asked: Bro that jjba anon... the entitlement🤮 Fam, you write whatever you want to write😤 -Saturday

dfnjbkjnkgf i find most fic readers are NOT entitled at all and are just grateful but when they are . . . oof. 

Anonymous asked: It's funny how people throw "we got you popular" and they think you start apologize and cry. Your writing and passion made you gain few numbers on a follow counter, nothing more. I think I'm too old for stuff like this, we are nothing more, but +1 on a number scale. You ow us nothing, we ow you nothing. Popular... Funny word. You just write for fun of it, fake scenarios about someone's manga characters. It's not that deep. Have fun and don't listen to people like this. I knew it's not that easy, but they are really not that important as they think they are.

extremely fun fact for people who think ‘popularity’ is important to me: i would 100% rather have 10 people who regularly comment, reblog my fics with tags and interact with me than 100 people who read my fic and either leave a like or simply move on. i think this is true for the VAST MAJORITY of writers tbh. i’m glad that people think i am a ‘popular’ blog (i am not in the grand scheme of things, one of my ex-best friends used to run a kpop reader insert blog with like 30,000 followers) bc it gives me an ego boost lmao, but i really just want people to read and enjoy the stuff i write!!! 

Anonymous asked: I followed you a while ago for jojo and when my friends started getting into jjk i was like...eh sounds like work...but now that I see you writing for it I feel really motivated to get into it!!! I really enjoy your writing and I want to be able to read the new stuff too!

ah anon i really hope you like it!!! it’s only one season rn if u wanna watch the anime and there isn’t too much of the manga to catch up on either but it is a lot of fun and it’s nice to be in a fandom that’s like, excited about a new chapter and new plot developments every week!

Anonymous asked: Pls dont reply if u dont want to! <3 I'm not sure if this will be of any help to you or not but this is the kind of thing that often helps me and is the only way I know to try comfort others so I wanted to give it a go~

Now im not gonna say 'dont feel bad pls' bc I know that's not really useful but what I do think is useful is just discussing why that anon and many others feel the need to respond that way. As someone who follows a lot of writing blogs myself and have done for a long time, i've seen my handful of favourite writers come and go for different reasons, lose motivation for a while, gain motivation for a while, go from multi to single fandom, or single fandom to multi. Often times as a reader it can be upsetting when things change but it's also important as a reader to understand that some things aren't in anyone's control, I can't control what my favourite writers become a fan of or lose interest of, I can't control things in their personal lives that may motivate or demotivate them to write, but what I can do is support them as long as they're active, and if they move on to do things i'm no longer interested in or i'm the one that changed interests, rather than being upset that they're evolving to do other things or that they're not evolving with me, I think it's important that I still feel thankful for the works that I enjoyed while we were still on the same page and this is how I personally deal with those negative feelings. I think the anons that lash out at you probably just dont know what to do with themselves, maybe they got attached to your works while you were still only a jjba blog and now that you're evolving they're upset, while I understand how they feel, they're going the completely wrong way about it. I've learned to take these things and turn them into something positive for myself or at least something bittersweet that I can move on from but the anons that lash out at you for whatever reason probably haven't learned this yet. Maybe it's because i've moved on and changed interests a lot myself that I know how these things go for both writers and readers but those anons maybe haven't experienced this as much so they dont know what to do with themselves other than complain that you've changed and throw insults at you in an attempt to get you to revert back. None of this is because of the quality of your writing like they want you to believe, it's literally just because you've evolved and while some of your old followers might not like the new content for no reason other than it not being their cup of tea, it's definitely not regressed at all. You are pumping out a lot of content right now but every single thing i've read has just been better than the last. Things that really stand out to me is how well you get characterisation down to a T and all of your dialogue is just on point and from the pov of a reader I think those things seem the hardest to get right so I am such a huge fan of your stuff at the moment and I can tell you're really putting so much thought and care into each and every fic no matter how fast you're producing it, I think the fact that you're also proud of what you're writing at the moment really shines through as well and I just adore the passion that radiates from every completed request as well as in the responses for the subsequent thirsts resulting from these works that appear in your ask box later (I know i've sent quite a few by now~)

Just to be clear i'm not defending those anons in any way, while I can understand what they might be feeling/why they're reacting in the way they are I still believe it's just so immature to be hateful online point blank. Even during a time where I still got upset with writers if they started doing something else I still never targeted that negativity directly to the writer and sending rude or hateful comments whether on anon or not never something i'd stooped low enough to do even when I still had an immature way of thinking, however, I hope that it might make it a little easier to brush them off if we try and understand what they're really upset about, and that they're just putting the blame for their negative feelings onto the wrong thing rather than coming to terms with change themselves.

hello anon!! i appreciate the long message. i do feel bad for people who have no interest in what i’m currently producing and i get that they feel upset about it; i’ve watched a lot of fellow jojo writers move on completely or just stop posting, honestly. this kind of thing is why i was so intense about asking people if it would be better if i made a separate blog but the resounding answer seemed to be ‘i’m just vibing with whatever happens and i’ll block tags as needed’. 

i often return to works by my favourite reader-insert writers who no longer write for the fandoms i like (and i read stuff bc it sounds interesting or i trust the person who writes it), but change can be difficult and i guess at this point i’ve - whether u like me or not lmao - been a fixture in jojo reader-insert tumblr for a While so it’s probably kind of jarring. 

anyway i really appreciate you and the nice words! <3 

Anonymous asked: hi nat! I just wanted to pop in and say that regardless of what fandom you write for, the love and care you pour into your writing and into interacting with followers who care about your work as well is really obvious. you're doing this for FREE and people should appreciate what you've given us so far, since ultimately this blog should be for you, whatever that means to you at any point in time. it's ok to jump fandoms! the important thing is that you feel good about what you're producing and that it makes you happy. everyone else is just a bonus - but, seeing you on my dash certainly makes me happy : ) I hope you feel better soon!

thank you anon! i’m feeling much better and happier today. birthdays are very difficult for me (i did not think i’d be alive at eighteen, much less 25!) so this event is definitely kind of a way for me to concentrate on something else, and i’m a little bit extra sensitive atm. i appreciate you so much, thank you for the kind words!!! <3

Anonymous asked: Hello! I just wanted to say, write what YOU want and make YOUR writings as long as you'd like. 💖 To the anon who is like "We mAdE yOu FaMoUs dOnt HalF asS iT" stfu, let people do what they wanna do. If you think they half do it, write something better and longer you asshat.

this is an open invitiation to that anon to send me a link to their writing blog and i’ll hype them up i promise <3 

Anonymous asked: nat i'm so so sorry about that ask please know that your older followers don't share the same opinion :( sometimes people forget about the living, breathing person behind the screen smh. you are not a machine. you absolutely should not restrict yourself to posting about one fandom forever. yes, we're first pulled in by your amazing content, but we stay for your wonderful personality and work ethic. please just keep being you, taking up projects you feel comfy with! <333 bless u

ahh thank u anon! unfortunately i actually am a writing robot, i’m sorry u had to find out this way. my jojo chip has been removed, please send it back so i can continue to not half-ass my jojo work. fgnjkbgjkfn thank you so much angel!!! i appreciate you ;_;.

Anonymous asked: i don’t think it’s fair for other people to say shit about what you choose to write about because on tumblr and other writing platforms, writers are constantly developing how they write and the fandoms that they write for. it’s not fair for someone to criticize that “you don’t care about jjba blah blah blah” because you can enjoy new shows/manga. and like you said you’ve grown so much!! proud of you nat and im glad that ive been able to read your works (sincerely other nat)

i am STILL waiting for you to come and fight me other nat fgnjkbnf. it’s nice to be enjoying different things! i am constantly learning new things and reading new works and making new friends and improving and i think that’s important. i do care about jjba - a lot! but i can care about other things too! <3 

Anonymous asked: I may not be one of your oldest followers, but i've been here for almost 3 years. Yes, i started following u for ur jojo content, but let me tell u, ur newfound motivation and enthusiam for other fandoms was honestly contagiuos for me. And i say this as a person who finds very difficult to move from one interest to another. Jojo is great, but so are other fandoms. Please don't let some faceless scum rob u that motivation. This is ur blog and u r always free to write whatever u want.

honestly, i have been there! i am autistic and i have special interests and watching other people move on to stuff i’m not vibing with has made me sad in the past, but i want people to be happy more than anything and sometimes that means new things and change! <3 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I saw that rude anon message & I just wanted to pop in & say that they're wrong. You're not betraying anyone & you should write whatever it is you want to write. I followed you for jojo & I'm not familiar with the other fandoms that you write for, but personally it makes me SO happy to see you enjoying new things! It's always good to find joy wherever you can, so keep writing what you're interested in. There a lot of ppl who want to see you happy and healthy <3

honestly the idea of it being a GRAND BETRAYAL is so funny, i am just writing anime fanfic here and thriving!!! tysm anon! <3

Anonymous asked: Those anons can piss off! They have no right to judge how long or how short your writing is. If they want longer content write it their damn selves. I think your writing has improved wonderfully and I originally followed for Jojo and I'm enjoying all the content period. I don't even watch jujutsu ( not my cup of tea personally) but I love seeing the creativity and the interactions. You write what makes you happy Nat and that's on that! You don't owe anybody anything! I know how hard writing is and when your consuming new content it's hard to make content for something else. That doesn't mean you don't like it any more your just doing something different for a while. Love you and your content and I'm enjoying the love your putting into your content whether long or short. ♥♥💕 Sending love your way!

honestly my idea of ‘short content’ is still over 1k words, i’m not good at reeling myself in! i guess it’s bc they see like, 1.5k jojo fic versus 5k jjk fic but it’s not that i didn’t enjoy the first fic, just that the point and the story came a lot quicker and so did the natural end! thank you anon, i appreciate you ;_; 

Anonymous asked: Hello! Just wanted to let your know that I think your writing is awesome, and that you should write for whoever and for whatever you want to! You dont have to stay loyal to one fandom or anything, and your followers shouldn't expect that from you! It's not like they are paying you to write, you are doing this for free, and because you enjoy it and it makes you happy! If they dont like your stuff, they dont have to follow you, they can go to other blogs that cater to their taste, and they definitely don't need to be sending you such hurtful comments, and they dont get to make you feel sad about your writing! Just because they followed you during your earlier stages of writing, doesn't mean you owe them some type of loyalty or compensation! You can write literally whatever you want as long as it makes you happy! That's what your hobby and your blog are for! I hope you know that alot of your followers love your work and think that you are an amazing writer and are down to support the work that makes you happiest! 💖💖

ahh thank you so much anon!!! i am always so bowled over by how many people are nice to me when something like this happens, i am sending you my love <3

Anonymous asked: don’t listen to them!! we love you as a writer no matter what you write, because you’re a good person and a talented writer!! you shouldn’t have to change what you write to please a bitter person, and if they only want jjba, they can go to another blog instead of bringing you down. you’re doing amazing and they should be thankful you grace us with your talents!!

to be totally honest, if i was half-assing or not vibing with content i was making i just. wouldn’t post it. like you’d be able to TELL when i was half-assing stuff just to get words out (source: i have re-read my own nanowrimo works). there are lots of great jjba blogs who could do with more followers n interaction!!! i hope they do find them and i hope they’re nice to them :(. 

Anonymous asked: Please don’t pay attention to that anon. People only have that confidence when they have anon turned on. Them looking through your blog despite feeling that way is peak fan behavior and speaks to how addicting your writing is. Naturally, you can’t please everyone and there will be people who are irrational and feel entitled to tell you what to do or what to write no matter what. Trust me when I say they’re a small minority and are more likely probably passing viewers rather than regulars. I check your blog about three or more times a day because I love reading not just your fics but also your takes, banter with other anons, or even random updates. Brainrot posts? LOVE TO SEE IT!!! Desk update? AMAZING!!! With that being said, don’t feel pressured to continue pushing out content for others. Write what makes you happy! You’ve been writing for JJBA for 4 years and it’s completely normal + healthy to get into new media. I’m not sure if it would mean much, but your love for JJK has gotten me excited to start it too!!

anon i really hope you enjoy it!!! sometimes these anons remember stuff i’ve posted and said better than i do tbh, i am living in their heads rent free i guess! 

Anonymous asked: I've been following you for a couple of years and honestly it would always be a joy to see when you posted. Your writing has improved and I'm very happy you're enjoying yourself ! I know it hurts hearing and seeing stuff like that but I'm happy you're here. I'm honestly blessed everytime you post. Your writing is phenomenal. I love reading it even if its characters that I dont care for. You capture their essences so well and weave an amazing tale within the prompts and whatnot. You're amazing nat!

wehh thank you so much!!! re: the improvement, i really don’t feel like it has and then i re-read something i wrote when i first started and i’m like oh my god maybe it has. did i really write about jotaro acting like that. 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat. I recently became a follower of yours and I'm really saddened to see you get hate. You seem like a genuinely sweet person with amazing talent! I'm a writer myself and, unfortunately, get the same kind of comments. And when you get those comments, it doesn't leave you feeling motivated. People need to understand that people can and will, at times, grow out of fandoms. (1 Not just that but you're doing all of this for free. Again, I'm sorry you got such a comment. But please know that I'm proud of how far you've come. I'm proud that you're living a life that makes you happy. And no matter what fandom you may find yourself in next, I will always enjoy your writing. Take care of yourself. (2 end

HELLO NEW FOLLOWER I LOVE YOU (i get a lot more a day now than i used to and i feel guilty about not being able to look through so many blogs but i do try and follow back other writers for my fandoms!! ;_;). i’m sorry you get the same kind of comments! i’m always just happy to see people i like enjoying new things, even if i have no interest in it (hello to all of my mutuals who write for hunter x hunter and haikyuu, not interested but i’m sure you’re having a great time and i support you!!!). 

Anonymous asked: I'm sure you're getting a barrage of supportive messages now (at least I hope so) but I figured I'd add my voice, because I'm a longtime follower. Your writing is, and always has been, wonderful. I've been so happy to see you and Haz get to a place that works for you both. Idk if it's obvious for everyone, but you seem like you're emotionally in a pretty good place most of the time these days, and it makes me really happy to see that. I followed years ago for JJBA content, but I stayed because regardless of what content you put out, I find your wit delightful. And I'll stick around even if you move fandoms entirely, because whatever content or editorializing you produce is going to be worth reading, regardless of what it's for.

ahh, anon!! thank you for sticking around so long, sorry if you’re old enough to have been around the vore and jorts and spider rohan fiascos! <3 i am definitely a lot more stable than i have been and - barring the Pandemic Related Mental Health Issues - happier! i’m glad that it’s noticeable! <3

Anonymous asked: It actually makes me mad how entitled some people are. Nat, you're not a content creating machine and those who expect you to be are not worth wasting a thought on. Your love for something is not measured in word counts and for you to write every day without getting burned out in the slightest you really must have a burning passion and huge dedication to your craft. If others decide to send hate then allow me to send admiration because I can feel your love and hard work in each post you make!

i try and write every day bc it’s super good for my little ocd/autistic brain to have routines and distract itself, so i’m glad other people can enjoy them because that makes me motivated to carry on! like, i write for myself mostly bc the content i want i sometimes get find, but filling requests and writing for other people also leaves me with happy warm fuzzies too! i appreciate you!! <3 

Anonymous asked: If people only care about your writing for the jojo porn that’s on THEM, not you. Your writing was amazing when I followed about a year ago, and it’s only gotten better and will continue to get better! I think it really comes through when you enjoy what you’re writing and it adds a whole other layer of worth to it, because not only are you making free content but you LIKE that content and we can all gush about it together!!! More than just fans, I think you’ve created a community here and we don’t just stick around to read smut, I promise you that. -Reronon

i do miss having a discord community bc it was nice to talk to everyone in real time but it was hard work, i am glad that people feel like they can just come into my askbox and gush! i’m not very friendly in real life and people tend to think i am cold and stuck up so i work very hard to try and seem friendly and approachable online, which is much easier for me because i get to think and re-draft before i type! <3 

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I’m sure you’re getting a lot of messages like this right now but I just wanted to say for what it’s worth that, as a person who originally followed you for jjba content and hasn’t watched/read any of the other series you’re currently writing for, I’m honestly still along for the ride. This is your blog and you’re allowed to do what you want with it and put out what content you feel like writing. Sometimes??? People acquire new interests??????? Shocking! I know absolutely nothing about jjk or bnha but out of curiosity still read some of your posts about them and even though I might not Get It, I still enjoy them because I think you’re a very talented writer! Honestly, as long as you’re still writing, I’m still down to clown, and whenever you take breaks (which are important!) I’ll still be waiting for your return or supporting and respecting your decision to stay away longer. Don’t let the entitled assholes get you down. Utilize YOUR blog and YOUR space however YOU choose. Your talent and kindness speak for themselves. Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

anon i care about you and i am so appreciative of you and everyone for sending me such nice messages! i am running out of ways to say it but it’s true, it really does mean a lot to me ;_; <3

[reogou]

like you | kirishima.e

@centerhabit​ asked:

Omgg can I have a kirishima x reader where shes playful with her buddies but gets so flustered when ppl confess to her and kiri has a huge crush on her but bc she likes him back it's really hard for her to be her usual self around him so shes just quiet and kiri thinks she doesnt like him? Can u make it end fluffy please :)

pairing/s: kirishima eijiro x fem! reader

genre: fluff

warning/s: none

a/n: a repost from my main. i also edited this a bit. hope you all liked it! 

🏷: @bnhabookclub​

Having a massive crush on someone really gets into you. The feeling of a million butterflies flying around your stomach every time you see them. Every time your heart leaps when you think about them. The feeling of getting to know them more, feeling closer, being that special someone in their lives, and having a space in their hearts. Thoughts about them that always replay on your head, like what they like and dislike, their favorite foods, who are the people that are important to them, questions like that. But most importantly, you ask yourself, do they like you back?

Do they feel the same emotion you feel every time they are around? Do they also feel the need and urge to talk to you? Do they even care for you? Just by thinking about it makes you shiver and anxiety creeping into you. What are their thoughts about you? Do they find you cute? Hot? Do they like your personality? Do they see you funny? Do they feel something special towards you?

As time goes by, the feeling gets stronger and stronger until you can’t help but be conscious about yourself, especially if that one person gives a sign that she treats you differently from the others. And in a not great way. It feels awful for Kirishima. Just thinking about you hating him makes him wanna punch himself and ask what’s wrong about him.

You were close with everybody in class (well except for Mineta) and always hang out with everybody. Even Bakugou hangouts with you and likes you even though he doesn’t show it. You always wear that pretty smile on your face, your eyes glistening with joy every time you see a person happy because of you. You’re always there for everybody, helping them, talking with them, laughing with them. You’re the social butterfly of Class A, but your treatment gets different when it comes to Kirishima. Even though you’re a talkative person, you always keep quiet whenever he’s around. When you both meet in the hallway, you either walk back to where you came from or walk fast without looking at him. It feels like you’re avoiding him.

Kirishima asks himself if he isn’t enough. If he makes you uncomfortable. If you don’t want to hang out with him. Don’t you like him? What did he do wrong for you to hate him?

Kirishima sighed and rested his back entirely on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. Kaminari glance below him to see Kirishima in front of him before glancing back at the TV, resuming on playing with Sero. Bakugou was on the floor with him while leaning on the couch, waiting for the loser with Kaminari and Sero to win against him while Sero and Kaminari are sitting on the sofa, playing. The two boys on the floor was hidden from anyone who came from the stairs or the kitchen.

“You okay, bud?” Kaminari asked, clearly feeling unusual at his behavior.

“Huh? Ah, yeah. I’m fine.” Kirishima averted his eyes from their questioning ones to avoid more questions. He ran his hand to his hair and sighed once again.

“Who would believe your shit when that’s literally the 4th time you sighed asshole? Got nothing better excuse than that, Shitty Hair?” Bakugou furrowed his brows at Kirishima.

“I’m sure no normal people would sigh that heavily if they’re okay.” Sero grinned at him. If this was an ordinary day, Kirishima would have been all smiles while talking about you, gushing over you. However, he was just sitting there, thinking so deep that he didn’t notice you coming down from the stairs with Mina and Uraraka.

You were laughing with Mina and Uraraka about that one movie, which has a hot MC. Giggling, you saw Kaminari and Sero playing in the living room. When Mina saw them, she beamed and greeted them.

“Hey, Denki, Sero! Whatcha’ doin’?” You looked at Mina weirdly, who’s staring back at you.

“What?”

“What the heck is that language?” Your face contorted. Mina shrugged.

“I just heard it on one of those Youtube videos.” You shook your head and turned towards the two boys who are still playing. You walked towards them while Mina and Uraraka followed you.

“Where’s Kirishima and Bakugou? You’re not with them?” You asked, the blonde and redhead out of your sight.

However, when you got closer to the couch, you saw Bakugou sitting on the floor below Kaminari and Sero.

“You got no eyes, Shitty woman?” Bakugou rolled his eyes at you. “Well, good morning to you, too, Bakugou.” You stuck your tongue out at him, sarcasm evident in your tone.

When you looked below Kaminari, your heart raced when you saw a redhead guy sitting on the floor beside Bakugou. When Kirishima looked up at you and smiled, you felt your face heat up. You almost jolted when Kirishima greeted you a good morning.

“Uhh-…G-good morning!” You stuttered and almost shouted. You bit your lip and looked away from Kirishima to steady your heartbeat.

“You okay, Y/N?” Kaminari chuckled.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You rolled your eyes at him when he grinned at you, clearly teasing you.

What the fuck, Y/N? You’re embarrassing yourself in front of Kirishima! Your crush!

Mina and Uraraka laughed at your reaction. You glared back at them and pinched Uraraka on the side.

“Ouch!” She whined playfully, still laughing. You rolled your eyes at them, turned your heel towards the dorm’s front door, looked over your shoulder, and signaled Uraraka and Mina to follow you. You rolled your eyes when you saw the sheepish grin on their faces.

“Shut up.”

-

Kirishima exhaled sharply when you got out from the front door, looking defeated. He looked at Kaminari who’s staring at him and groaned.

“I knew she hated me.” He mumbled, which reached the boy’s ears.

“What do you mean? Who?” Sero asked. “Oh, man!” Sero groaned while Kaminari smirked at him.

“Better luck next time, bro!” Kaminari laughed at Sero, earning him a groan from the tape-hero.

“You’re really bad at this, Soy Sauce Face.” Bakugou smirked.

“I’m not. I think it’s you who suck at this.” Sero smirked back at him, challenging Bakugou.

“What?! You’re the one who sucks at this! You wanna fight, huh, Tape Arms?!”

“Bro, chill.” Kaminari looked at Bakugou while chuckling. He turned towards Kirishima and faced him, his console now on his lap.

“Who hates you? Y/N?” He asked.

“Yeah.” Kirishima replied. Kaminari laughed at him while holding his stomach.

“What do you mean Y/N hates you?” Sero chuckled. Kirishima shoots them a confused look, not knowing what’s going on.

“Doesn’t she hate me? I mean, she’s so friendly towards all of you even to Bakugou, but every time she sees me, she always avoid me.

“What the- this fucker.” Bakugou facepalmed at him while Kaminari and Sero continued to laugh at him.

“It’s not like that, idiot!”

Kirishima stared at them. What the fuck are they saying? Kirishima is really confused right now as to what was happening and what the boys are talking about.

“Y/N doesn’t hate you! In fact, she likes you!” Kaminari blurted out, torn between laughing at his friend’s stupidness or being frustrated at his friend’s stupidness.

Kirishima sat frozen on his seat. What the fuck? You like him?

-

The wind blew, making the leaves rustle, creating a peaceful music to your ears. The garden was a beautiful place to rest in. The calming breeze of the wind and the smell of flowers around and the birds’ small chirping around you can make a person’s heart fall into peacefulness.

But in contrast to what one should feel right now, the boy in front of you is trembling with nervousness. You can even see the cold sweats running down his forehead to his chin, disappearing on his uniform coat.

His eyes shot up at you, eyes full of determination despite his vulnerable state. He took a deep breath before standing straight and staring right into your eyes.

“Y-Y/N… I know you already feel my affection towards you, but I want to make a proper confession and express my love to you.” He started bravely. You feel your cheeks heat up and your heart race at his words, utterly flustered at his confession. Even though this is not your first time to have someone confess to you, you still get flustered every time you learned that someone has a crush on you.

“Y/N, I h-have liked you for a long time now, since first year.” The boy confessed.

You bit your lip and opened your mouth to speak, only to mutter a single “I-…” before heating up and avoiding his gaze. You fumbled at the hem of your skirt and looked up at the boy in front of you. Sighing, you corrected your posture and face him.

“I-i’m sorry b-but… I can’t reciprocate your feelings for me…” You mumbled.

He sighed and smiled at you, making you jolt a little at his action.

“It’s okay. I know you have Kirishima inside your heart from the start.” He said sheepishly. Your eyes widened as you realized what he just said to you.

“E-eh?!” You squeaked, cheeks heating up even more. He smiled at you before looking at something behind you. When you slowly turn around, it felt like time froze. Your heart thumping even louder as you stared at those crimson eyes that are open wide, shock evident inside them.

You swallowed hard as you felt embarrassment rose inside you. You just want the earth to open below you and swallow you to a place where you can save your ass from embarrassment. The boy gave you a small wave then walked away as Kirishima came over and stood in front of you. Silence fell as you and Kirishima gawked at each other with eyes wide open.

“I…I,” You attempted to speak up, but the bile inside your throat made you unable to do so.

“So… you like me, huh?” He said quietly, eyes staring at you. You chewed on your bottom lip and nod your head towards him. There’s no way to hide it now. He knows your feelings for him already, so why not just take this chance to confess?

“Y-yeah…”

He gave you a soft smile that made your heart swell and your insides melt, his smile giving you strength.

“B-but you don’t have to be forced to answer me. It’s okay if you don’t have the same feeling as me. It’s totally okay even though you like someone else-” Your words were cut off when his soft lips touched yours, sealing you into a kiss you thought would only happen in your dreams. You closed your eyes to feel his embrace more as you started kissing him back, your lips following his movements. The kiss was so magical and beautiful that you almost reached for his lips the moment he pulled from you. He chuckled at your reaction and kissed your forehead.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, you will get lots and lots of kisses today, onwards.” He said cockily, making you pout.

“Does this mean… you like me too?” You stared at his crimson eyes. He smiled at you and nodded. He leaned towards you until you felt his hot breath beside your ears, making you gasp.

“Since first year.” He whispered into your ear.

“I thought you hate me, though.” He pouted at you. Your eyebrows shoot up from what he said.

“Huh? Why would I hate you?” You asked, confused at his remark. He avoided your gaze, and you saw a small tint of pink on his cheeks. You can’t help but grin.

“Kirishima…” You hummed softly as he looked back at you. “Are you… blushing?” You asked him while grinning. This time, his face turned into red, almost like his hair and eyes.

“W-what?! Of c-course not!” He stuttered, making you laugh at him. He glared at you playfully, making you laugh even more.

“Stop laughing!”

“I can’t help it!” You snickered while trying to stop your laughter. Keyword: Trying. Instead of getting angry at you, Kirishima smiled softly at you, finding you cute while laughing. He can’t help but to steal a kiss from you once again making you stop laughing. Your face heat up once again and blinked at Kirishima.

“Now you’re the one blushing.” He teased. You smacked his arms and hid your face in his chest.

“Stop!”

[blurby]

Omgg can I have a kirishima x reader where shes playful with her buddies but gets so flustered when ppl confess to her and kiri has a huge crush on her but bc she likes him back it's really hard for her to be her usual self around him so shes just quiet and kiri thinks she doesnt like him? Can u make it end fluffy please :)

Like You

A/N: Thank you so much for requesting! 😘 I hope you like this. I really had the motivation to write this. Enjoy reading!

Pairing/s: Kirishima Eijirou x Reader

Warning/s: None

Genre: Fluff

AU: None

-

Having a huge crush on someone really gets into you. The feeling of a million butterflies flying around your stomach everytime you see them. Everytime your heart leaps when you think about them. The feeling of getting to know them more. To feel closer. To be that special someone in their life. To have a space in their heart. Thoughts about that person that always replay on your head, like what do they like and dislikes, what are their favorite foods, who are the people that are important to them, questions like that. But most importantly, you ask yourself, do they like you back?

Do they feel the same emotion you feel everytime they are around? Do they also feel the need and urge to talk to you? Do they also care for you? Just by thinking about it makes you shiver and anxiety creeping into you. What are their thoughts about you? Do they find you cute? Hot? Do they like your personality? Do they find you funny? Do they feel something special towards you?

As times goes by, the feeling gets stronger and stronger until you can't help but to be conscious about yourself, especially if that one person gives a sign that she treats you differently from the others. And in a bad way. It feels awful for Kirishima. Just thinking about you hating him makes him wanna punch himself and ask what's wrong about him.

You were close with everybody in class (well except for Mineta) and always hang out with everybody. Even Bakugou hang outs with you and likes you even though he doesn't show it. You always wear that pretty smile on your face, your eyes glistening with joy everytime you see a person happy because of you. You're always there for everybody, helping them, talking with them, laughing with them. You're the social butterfly of Class A. But when it comes to Kirishima, your treatment gets different. Even though you're a talkative person, you always keep quiet whenever he's around. When you both meet in the hallway, you either walk back to where you came from or walk fastly with your eyes on the ground. It feels like you're avoiding him.

Kirishima asks himself if he isn't enough. If he makes you uncomfortable. If you don't want to hang out with him. Don't you like him? What did he do wrong for you to hate him?

Kirishima sighed and rested his back fully on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. Kaminari glance below him to see Kirishima infront of him before glancing back at the TV, resuming on playing with Sero. Bakugou was on the floor with him while leaning on the couch, waiting for the loser with Kaminari and Sero to win against him while Sero and Kaminari are sitting on the couch, playing. The two boys on the floor was hidden from anyone who came from the stairs or the kitchen.

"You ok, bud?" Kaminari asked, clearly feeling unusual at his behavior.

"Huh? Ah, yeah. I'm fine." Kirishima averted his eyes from their questioning ones to avoid more questions. He ran his hand to his hair and sighed once again.

"Who would believe your shit when that's literally the 4th time you sighed asshole? Got nothing better excuse than that, Shitty Hair?" Bakugou furrowed his brows at Kirishima.

"I'm sure no normal people would sigh that heavily if they're ok." Sero grinned at him. If this was an ordinary day, Kirishima would have been all smiley while talking about you, gushing over you. However, he was just sitting there, thinking so deep that he didn't even notice you coming down from the stairs with Mina and Uraraka.

You were laughing with Mina and Uraraka about that one movie who has a hot MC. Giggling, you saw Kaminari and Sero playing in the living room. When Mina saw them, she beamed and greeted them.

"Hey, Denki, Sero! Whatcha' doin'?" You looked at Mina wierdly who's staring back at you.

"What?"

"What the heck is that language?" Your face contorted. Mina shrugged.

"I just heard it on one of those Youtube videos." You shook your head and turned towards the two boys who are still playing. You walked towards them while Mina and Uraraka followed you.

"Where's Kirishima and Bakugou? You're not with them?" You asked, the blonde and redhead out of your sight.

However, when you got closer to the couch, you saw Bakugou sitting on the floor just below Kaminari and Sero.

"You got no eyes, Shitty woman?" Bakugou rolled his eyes at you. "Well good morning to you too, Bakugou." You stuck your tongue out at him, sarcasm evident in your tone.

When you looked below Kaminari, your heart raced when you saw a redhead guy sitting on the floor beside Bakugou. When Kirishima looked up at you and smiled, you felt your face heat up. You almost jolted when Kirishima greeted you a good morning.

"Uhh-...G-good morning!" You stuttered and almost shouted. You bit your lip and looked away from Kirishima to steady your heartbeat.

"You ok , Y/N?" Kaminari chuckled.

"Yeah, I'm fine." You rolled your eyes at him when he grinned at you, clearly teasing you.

What the fuck, Y/N? You're embarrassing yourself in front of Kirishima! Your crush!

Mina and Uraraka laughed at your reaction. You glared back at them and pinched Uraraka on the side.

"Ouch!" She whined playfully, still laughing. You rolled your eyes at them and turned your heel towards the front door of the dorm and looked over your shoulder and signalled Uraraka and Mina to follow you. You rolled your eyes when you saw the sheepish grin on their faces.

"Shut up."

-

Kirishima exhaled sharply when you got out from the front door, looking defeated. He looked at Kaminari who's staring at him and groaned.

"I knew she hated me." He mumbled which reached the boy's ears.

"What do you mean? Who?" Sero asked. "Oh, man!" Sero groaned while Kaminari smirked at him.

"Better luck next time bro!" Kaminari laughed at Sero earning him a groan from the tape-hero.

"You're really bad at this, Soy Sauce Face." Bakugou smirked.

"I'm not. I think it's you who suck at this." Sero smirked back at him, challenging Bakugou.

"What?! You're the one who suck at this! You wanna fight, huh, Tape Arms?!"

"Bro, chill." Kaminari looked at Bakugou while chuckling. He turned towards Kirishima and faced him, his console now on his lap.

"Who hates you? Y/N?" He asked.

"Yeah." Kirishima replied. Kaminari laughed at him while holding his stomach.

"What do you mean Y/N hates you?" Sero chuckled. Kirishima shoot them a confused look, not knowing what's going on.

"Doesn't she hate me? I mean, she's so friendly towards all of you even to Bakugou but everytime time she sees me, she always avoid me.

"What the- this fucker." Bakugou facepalmed at him while Kaminari and Sero continued to laugh at him.

"It's not like that, idiot!"

Kirishima stared at them. What the fuck are they saying? Kirishima is really confused right now as to what was happening and what the boys are talking about.

"Y/N doesn't hate you! In fact, she likes you!" Kaminari blurted out, torn between laughing at his friend's stupidness or being frustrated at his friend's stupidness.

Kirishima sat frozen on his seat. What the fuck? You like him?

-

The wind blew making the leaves rustle, creating a peaceful music to your ears. The garden was a beautiful place to rest in. The calming breeze of the wind and the smell of flowers around and the small chirping of the birds around you can make a person's heart fall into peacefulness.

But in contrast to what one should feel right now, the boy in front of you is trembling with nervousness. You can even see the cold sweats running down his forehead to his chin, disappearing on his uniform coat.

His eyes shot up at you, eyes full of determination despite his vulnerable state. He took a deep breath before standing straight and staring right into your eyes.

"Y-Y/N... I know you already feel my affection towards you, but I want to make a proper confession and express my love to you." He started bravely. You feel your cheeks heat up and your heart race at his words, utterly flustered at his confession. Even though this is not your first time to have someone confess to you, you still get flustered everytime you learned that someone has a crush on you.

"Y/N, I h-have liked you for a long time now, since first year." The boy confessed.

You bit your lip and opened your mouth to speak, only to mutter a single "I-..." before heating up and avoiding his gaze. You fumbled at the hem of your skirt and looked up at the boy infront of you. Singhing, you corrected your posture and face him.

"I-i'm sorry b-but... I can't reciprocate your feelings for me..." You mumbled.

He sighed and smiled at you, making you jolt a little at his action.

"It's ok. I know you have Kirishima inside your heart from the start." He said sheepishly. Your eyes widened as you realized what he just said to you.

"E-eh?!" You squeaked, cheeks heating up even more. He smiled at you before looking at something behind you. When you slowly turn around, it felt like time froze. Your heart thumping even louder as you stared at those crimson eyes that are open wide, shock evident inside them.

You swallowed hard as you felt embarrassment rose inside you. You just want the earth to open below you and swallow you to a place where you can save your ass from embarrassment. The boy gave you a small wave then walked away as Kirishima came over and stood in front of you. Silence fell as you and Kirishima gawked at each other with eyes wide open.

"I...I," You attempted to speak up but the bile inside your throat made you unable to do so.

"So... you like me, huh?" He said quietly, eyes staring at you. You chewed on your bottom lip and nod your head towards him. There's no way to hide it now. He knows your feelings for him already, so why not just take this chance to confess?

"Y-yeah..."

He gave you a soft smile that made your hear swell and your insides melt, his smile giving you strenght.

"B-but you don't have to be forced to answer me. It's ok if you don't have the same feeling as me. It's totaly fine even though you like someone else-" Your words were cut off when his soft lips touched yours, sealing you into a kiss you thought would only happen in your dreams. You closed your eyes to feel his kiss more as you started kissing him back, your lips following his movements. The kiss was so magical and beautiful that the moment he pulled from you, you almost reached for his lips. He chuckled at your reaction and kissed your forehead.

"Don't worry sweetheart, you will get lots and lots of kisses today onwards." He said cockily making you pout.

"Does this mean... you like me too?" You stared at his crimson eyes. He smiled at you and nodded. He leaned towards you until you felt his hot breath beside your ears making you gasp.

"Since first year, baby." He whispered into your ear.

"I thought you hate me though." He pouted at you. Your eyebrows shoot up from what he said.

"Huh? Why would I hate you?" You asked, confused at his remark. He avoided your gaze and you saw a small tint of pink on his cheeks. You can't help but grin.

"Kirishima..." You hummed softly as he looked back at you. "Are you... blushing?" You asked him while grinning. This time, his faced turned into red, almost like his hair and eyes.

"W-what?! Of c-course not!" He stuttered making you laugh at him. He glared at you playfully making you laugh even more.

"Stop laughing!"

"I can't help it!" You snickered while trying to stop your laughter. Key word: Trying. Instead of getting angry at you, Kirishima smiled softly at you, finding you cute while laughing. He can't help but to steal a kiss from you once again making you stop laughing. Your face heat up once again and blinked at Kirishima.

"Now you're the one blushing." He teased. You smacked his arms and hid your face in his chest.

"Stop!"

-

Taglist: @lady-bakuhoe @bakugoyelling @bakugous-forehead @kingtamakimurder @kinkyacademia @kiriwhore-sama @zuffer-weird-girl @monst @secondhand-trash @aizawashoutta @redhawtriot @quirky-hero-imagines @queensynderella @lesbian-peanut-writer (sorry for the random tags! Please dm me if you want to be tagged or untagged)

[noodelak]

MY REALLY OLD ART A LONG ASS POST

So this first piece I found in a folder on my computer called “Old art organize later” within a folder called “ REALLY OLD ART” I drew this in 2006 and the jpeg was titled:

“My most awesome dragon evur”

Also noted was my attempt at signing my name in Japanesef saldkfjsdlf because i was 11 and anime was THEE coolest thing to me.

Okay the rest is going under a read more because this is gonna be LONG

here are some gems from 2007

yes this is a kk slider gijinka faksdjfalsdjf

next up we have my attempt to make super paper mario characters into handsome anime men

it was a this point i was a young baby on deviant art longing to do “digital” art because thats what all the really cool artists did, i didnt have a tablet and the photoshop-esque thing i had was a pirated copy of JASC Paintshop 7 (or maybe it was 8), so what did I make with newly unlocked DIGITAL ART POWERS??

and this charming thing which was my intepretation of what the The Thing Behind the Wall in Johnny the Homicidal Maniac looked like:

but these were only the beginning of my long and arduous journey as an artist, 2009 came and I entered highschool 13 years old and with nothing but the power of deviant art and being an outcast with 2 friends on my side so here are some of my favorites from that era of Noo art:

^^^ this is in fact EXACTLY what i looked like at 13

its kind of funny bc looking back you can absolutely tell id been drawing dragons/wolves since i was like able to hold a pencil but didnt start drawing humanoid characters until i was 12 afjlakfjs

ANYWAYS CARRYING ON BC THERES PLENTY MORE!! For example my Invader Zim/Naruto OCs

yes one of those aliens was kisame

every day knowing that I get to claim ownership over this is truly exhilarating the girl with the pigtails was my OC that was definitely not just me. Her name was Delainbow, she was Sasuke’s daughter and she is truly the epitome of everything that was good about my childhood

WHAT A LEGEND

this is genuinely what I wanted to be when i was 13 god I love it

oh fuck i missed this one from 2008

god  GOd i love these all so much I WAS SO FREE I JUST DREW WHATEVER AND DIDNT CARE

ok just gonna put a few more without comment but these are all 2009 again

Moving on to 2010-2012 era art

shout out to teenage me for still being not the worst at drawing animals

the  freaking EDGE

so there was some point here where i started trying to stop drawing “anime”  bc i was tired of ppl making fun of me so I figured if I didnt draw anime ppl would take me more seriously when in reality those ppl just sucked and so did my highschool art teacher

like... YUCK???? what the fuck was i was I even accomplishing here aksdjfaskjfkasldjf

my wolves still were still way cooler then the rest of my art lol

alright carrying onto late highschool early college, its summer of 2012 im on tumblr, im a homestuck, and ive gotten a laptop and tablet as a gift for getting into art school (yeah I drew like aformentioned above and still got into art school) sadly i dont have any scans of the stuff i drew for that portfolio, it was mostly still lifes i drew like a boot and a skull haha

okay so here are the gems i made upon finally getting a computer of my own, photoshop and bamboo wacom tablet,

here she is my first attempt to paint in photoshop....s fjaskdjfaskljfklasd

the rest of these are all from like my first fall/winter semester of college when i actually started getting a real art education and not just shitty no budget rural hometown highschool art class

So that picture of zachary which is honestly NOT thaaaaaat bad was one of the first things I ever posted to break 500 notes, i think a fewwww of my homestuck drawings had come close after like months of being on the site but like that zachary was one of the first times id genuinely been a little succesful with sharing my art online and im still very grateful to everyone who liked and reblogged it ^u^

After that well, i do have a lot more bad art but its not quite as funny as my pre-college stuff from that point on you mostly just see me struggling to improve anatomy and struggling to get through school (which ultimately took me 8 years to get through bc art school is terrible on your mental health and i had to do the last 4 years as a half time student)

but thats kind of a sad note to end on so heres just a few more gems i think you all should see if you’ve taken the time to read this haha

Thank you if you took the time to scroll through all of this i hope you had a laugh and that if you’re ever feeling down about your art to remember that we all start at the bottom and you can only go up from there no matter how long it takes you! Don’t give up and honestly just draw your truth <3

[fiovske]

Tbh it was fucked when they killed of Lexa with absolutely no fanfare and it’s fucked that they killed off Bellamy, a MOC and the MALE LEAD with absolutely no fanfare. Shipping aside the writers of this show have always valued Shock over queer characters and characters of colour. (Lincoln was the most egregious example, in my opinion.) I don’t even ship Bellarke, I ship Clexa, but I don’t think it’s funny. Bellamy was the only Asian lead in a major US genre fiction.

you're right. the show has always valued shock factor over queer characters or poc. and I do believe jroth has the strangest obsession w this whole edgelord "death is realistic" bullshit. when ppl asked he write raven well, his response was "she's still alive isn't she?". I believe his approach to storytelling has digressed to that of any edgy white male whose ideal of the industry formed in the 90s does. same goes to joss whedon. and those two clowns who made Game Of Thrones. these dudes think of "death" as this... big depressing ending being "realistic, gritty, true to life" instead of writing fulfilling character arcs, they think of the concept happiness as... somewhat inferior.

but listen.... from what I've heard thru the walls the actor for Bellamy is really an abusive man who cheated on and emotionally wrecked the last person he was in a relationship with, and when she came out very recently with her very believable and very relatable account of the abuse, biphobia and cheating she endured from Bob Morley for a good many years and only having the courage to speak about it now, about a year they'd broken up, Bellamy fans caled her awful names, sent her death threats and treated her with the utmost disrespect. I have also heard from sources close to the crew that Bob Morley is a tantrum-throwing diva who refuses to co-operate on set. so I have no kind of sympathy for him or his character. I do not believe in seperating the art from the artist. never have.

tha being said, jroth on the other hand, is notorious for having written terribly in terms of burying your gays (re: Lexa, Nathan's previous boyfriend Bryan) and killing male pocs (re: Wells, Lincoln, Monty.) And I also heard the writer was pretty racist on set to Ricky Whittle (the actor for Lincoln has publicly admitted to having to deal w racism on set. He left the show on bad terms and Bob Morley called him a 'little bitch' for exposing the racism on set and said that Ricky Whittle should be gRaTeFuL for even getting a chance to star on the 100.) my point is: Bob Morley is an overall shitty man and so is JRoth.

Writing Bellamy an abrupt, terrible end makes sense in the way that jroth really disliked Bob Morley for personal reasons and was REALLY desperate to kill his character in an attempt of "No, FUCK YOU." vendetta vibes, bc he thought THATS what makes a story interesting. I've been thru this w Lexa's nonsensical death so I'm REALLY not surprised.

that being said, I think both men are terrible, and like I said... I never learnt to seperate the art from the artist. and I don't intend to. my heart goes out to the other cast and crew members who put their heart into their work to make the show happen. hope they get better projects in the future. as for the 100... this show should've ended at season 5, probs. S6 didn't really grasp my attention much and I don't remember much past the point of them reaching that new star system thing anyway.

[thedeviljudges]

hi i’m the devil judge anon person thing that has chosen you for whatever reason to continue to talk about my related thoughts that i would otherwise just keep to myself—but i would like to second your tag about shipping goan and his cop bestie??? i saw that on twitter and i was just wondering like... even where people are coming from w that. but anyways. also seconding your pain in relation to these lil episode 5 bits. i feel nauseous with anticipation good god

fJDLSKF HI BABE. it is a wonder you've chosen me, too. i'm afraid my uglie blog does not offer much, but i love conversing fandom things, and hearing everyone's thoughts. i'm always so open, so i'm glad you're not keeping them to yourself this time!!! i'd love to hear them all.

with that said, LISTEN, it's always a guarantee ppl are gonna go for the heteronormative couple. however, my issue is the fact that.... there is no basis for it thus far. it's one-sided. it's clear gaon is not interested, and i feel like if that was going to be end game, they'd already need to start introducing gaon's feelings. instead.... INSTEAD they've found him a chaotic house husband to go live with even after he's all healed up!!!! like!!!!!!!!! tell me where is the romance for the hets?

and i'm not even trying to be gay-biased here either. literally if you look at the plot and what we have so far, the only points for a relationship between cop bestie and gaon is the fact that they've been friends since childhood; she likes him, and he's told her multiple times he doesn't want to ruin their friendship. (i do realize there's a scene of gaon and her in the past in ep 5 since i saw screenshots, so idk how much more that's adding to the backstory, but even still). please tell me how that's romantic bc i guarantee you if that narrative was switched, it'd be a little bit too much bc dude should leave her alone for pushing boundaries, lmao.

let's also keep in mind that her character description is... like lbr, slightly misogynistic? she's a cop, which cool. but if one of her character plot points is to pine after her bff, that's kinda shitty to reduce her down to that, isn't it? like yes, be worried about your friend and what he's getting into, but it's also annoying that women are still written with the sole purpose to support a man, to wait for a man, etc, etc. that's what makes me nervous going forward with her character. imagine if they'd left the attempt at romance aside with her storyline thus far? it'd read so very different and not forced, and then i could see that being a huge benefactor for gaon without the addled personal-interested she has.

i hope i'm wrong tbh. i really hope they keep her worried for gaon and nothing more, and not fall into tropes, but she's one of the only characters that shows up in relation to gaon and really, only him, so. idk we'll see how this goes ig. 😣