#also i haven't watched that episode in many years so i could be wrong

[twig-tea]

Why We Are Gives Me Anxiety

I have been fighting myself on this We Are post for weeks because I wanted to make sure I knew what I wanted to say and was able to say it. I feel the need to say off the top that I don’t begrudge anyone who enjoyed this show and I’m genuinely glad it brought comfort to people. The show in and of itself, as 16 hour-long episodes of fluff (shout-out to @stuffnonsenseandotherthings for using this word to pinpoint the genre for this show, because it’s perfect), is not offensive or bad or wrong or any judgmental or moralistic word. And it does some things well; the centrality of the friend group was a lovely aspect to this show, and the chemistry in the friendship group scenes was on point. All of the couples have good romantic chemistry as well, and the show is packed with butterflies-inducing moments. 

That being said, I did not enjoy watching this show. I watch television mostly for the story; This show felt more like watching 16 special episodes for a show I hadn’t seen (I think this can be attributed to the point made by @italianpersonwithashippersheart in her post here that the show assumes the audience comes to the show with a pre-existing buy-in to the ships). The lack of overarching narrative structure of We Are gave my brain nothing to hold onto and I spent so much of every episode futilely trying to figure out how scenes worked with what had come before, what the show was trying to say, what these characters were thinking–all of which I knew was the wrong way to be watching, but it’s the way my brain works, so I spent a lot of the show frustrated. In short, this show wasn’t for me. 

But that’s not why I feel the need to write about it. Shows are fully allowed to not be for me, I usually can differentiate between when a show is doing something I don’t like well, or when it’s failing at its own goals. And I don’t begrudge people with different taste getting catered to sometimes; my refrain is that most problems of representation are not solved by calling for less of something, and rather than wanting something not to be made, I’d rather champion for more and a greater variety of content. And lord knows there’s enough BL to go around these days (shouting out @respectthepetty’s post along these lines, which I loved) . But We Are still worries me, and I’ve been trying to find a way to articulate that my concerns are not actually about the show itself, in isolation, but rather about how it feels like part of a pattern. This is my best attempt at laying that out. It’s going to get a little ramble-y, so apologies in advance.

Shout-out to @bengiyo who first articulated this anxiety in his post from relatively early in the show’s run . Ben gets into some of where I’m coming from with concerns about what this show means for the genre in this post, which as he mentions we've chatted about in DMs. I’m really grateful to him for these conversations because in isolation, I worried that I was being alarmist. It was helpful to have confirmation that he was feeling the same way so that I could get out of my own head.  

Ben mentions in his post that New Siwaj has been in this business a long time, and I, like Ben, have jived with him for years because he manages to imbue queer angst into his shows in a way that resonates with me, even when he’s had missteps. I'm going to lay out some of the major highlights of his work for those who haven't followed New for years.

He was an editor on Love Sick, arguably the start of the Thai BL genre as we know it today, and a show full to the brim of queer angst. He directed Make It Right, one of my favourite Thai BL comedy series. This show was also an ensemble centered around a friendship group (though admittedly it didn’t balance the friendship and romance content as strongly as We Are), and it covers so many topics that felt refreshing at the time and still are rare (morning-after sex visits to the clinic because things went poorly, hooking up on the apps, sex acts beyond just penetration, suicidality, I could go on). He also was involved in the GMMTV Waterboyy series–this was his first work for GMMTV that I am aware of. That show had a lot of issues but did explore internalized homophobia and bullying.

He worked as a cinematographer on En of Love, which is again similar to We Are in that it has several couples connected by a friendship group (and is several novels in one series), but each couple was given its own miniseries instead of bundling them into one show. En of Love also still dealt with some serious queer angst, especially in the Love Mechanics story [Sidenote, Niink, the director for En of Love, stuck with New and moved on to work for Wabi Sabi].

At this point, New created his own company, Studio Wabi Sabi, which he's said in interviews was to gain more creative control over what he was working on. And his stories became arguably even more explicitly queer and inclusive of queer trauma. He screenwrote and produced Love By Chance (which folks may not remember or know, but that core story starts off with Pete being blackmailed for being gay until Ae convinces him to come out to his mother and shut down the leverage for blackmail, and a good chunk of Pete’s character arc is unlearning internalized homophobia and not seeing himself as ‘corrupting’ Ae) and then Until We Meet Again. The queer angst in UWMA probably doesn’t need my help spelling out, but just in case anyone doesn’t know the summary, this show was about a queer couple who committed suicide in the face of homophobia in the 1980s, and were reborn and given another chance to be together in present day. I did want to note that in both of these series (LBC and UWMA) the core romance itself has no major conflicts; both AePete and DeanPharm felt like they were intentionally side-stepping so many of the usual BL drama tropes of jealousy and misunderstandings through trust and communication. Dean and Pharm’s story took that even further by having so many of the usual drama pitfalls for a gay couple just not be a problem; their only drama comes from their past lives, in a beautiful exploration of the breaking of intergenerational trauma. So many external threats to their relationship ended up being non-starters, and this was my version of a comfort series for that reason. 

From there, New started working with GMMTV again, and directed My Gear and Your Gown. This series was, to my knowledge, the first GMMTV BL series to mention HIV and to show characters getting tested at the clinic, and while it wasn’t perfect representation (didn’t get into PrEP, treated HIV as a death sentence), it felt like an important milestone.

[I’m skipping the sequels and specials he did for series I already talked about, because they don’t feel that important to the story I’m telling here and this is already so long, but I wanted to acknowledge that I’m not covering everything in his oeuvre.]

He then directed 7 Project, which had some serious storylines dealing with bullying and struggling with life in the closet, out of Wabi Sabi, and then Star and Sky out of GMMTV. Star in My Mind included one of the main characters in a beard relationship for years, and some controversy over the adaptation choices to make Daonuea (Dunk’s character) less polite than in the books. There was drama around the pronouns and characterization in that show (both Daonuea and Khabkluen use guu/mueng in the series, but in the novel, Daonuea uses rao; he also curses in the series and novel fans complained that he was too ‘masculine’). I thought it was an interesting attempt at a departure from BL character tropes to try to make Daonuea more evenly matched with Khabkluen in terms of his gender presentation in the show. Sky in Your Heart also included some angst about whether people of a particular station could be gay. Both of these shows (SIMM and SIYH) were also very trope-y, but they had clear throughlines. 

My Only 12%, the next show New directed out of Wabi Sabi, contains one of my favourite moments in all of BL, in which Seeiw sees Love of Siam and cries because it makes him realize he’s gay. There’s this heartfelt moment where he asks his sister, if there’s nothing wrong with being gay, why doesn’t the film let the gay characters have a happy ending? Despite the weird PSA ending, this show remains one of my favourites.

This is an aside but I’ve long been fascinated about this moment in New’s history: he played himself in War of Y, as a director of BL who is sick of being forced to make BL shows full of fanservice; he treats the actors with disdain and cuts marketable high heat scenes from the show which makes everyone nervous for the show’s future. Later we see him and the actor characters on set for My Only 12%, much happier. I ask myself about this moment at least once a week: Did he write this self-insert? Did someone else write the character and he just played it, and the similarities to his style were (were not?) a coincidence? I hope someone knows and tells me one day,

From there, New functioned as an Executive Producer of Dear Doctor, I’m Coming for Soul [I think this was the first outsourced project by Wabi Sabi]. This series’ entire plot is a metaphor for living in the closet and waiting for the time when the main couple can be together fully without having to hide. 

He directed A Boss and a Babe for GMMTV (which had its problems for sure, but also had Cher as an out gay man at the workplace dealing with casual homophobia in a way that was extremely satisfying), and then Between Us, which is maybe the least queer feeling show Wabi Sabi produced on its own, but did go into the issues of dating and the closet while trying to become a star (if I’ve forgotten something from this show let me know, I only watched it the once). One of the things that was so strange about this show was it being a sequel to UWMA but not engaging with the same themes. The only mention of real world queerness I can remember was the acknowledgment that they can’t get married in Thailand and Dean and Pharm discussing again going abroad and getting married there. 

Absolute Zero was a complete mess of a show; New directed this one for Wabi Sabi, and it has some similarities to UWMA in the sense of there being an attempt at saving the gays from the bury your gays trope, this time via time loop rather than reincarnation, but it did not take the issues it raised seriously enough (including the age gap created between the two characters by virtue of time travel). 

And that leads us to We Are for GMMTV, which as Pluem (@happypotato48)  wrote in his excellent post about this, includes Toey using nu and other 'feminine' or 'youthful' sounding language, but also apparently dropped the main conflict of the novel between Phum and his father (because his father disapproved of Peem).

Why did I go through all of that? Because I wanted to lay out how I've watched New Siwaj’s career go from finding a way to tell incredibly poignant and healing queer narratives (by creating his own company, and fitting these moments into the GMMTV series he did work on) to stripping out queerness from the shows he’s creating in the last year or so.

And this is a pattern we’re seeing more widely at GMMTV in particular, but also in Thai QL more widely. This is something that was touched on but not really discussed in the most recent episode of The Conversation podcast (the 23.5 and only boo! episode here). In both 23.5 and Only Boo!, the show faked out a homophobic parent and then treated their kids like they were silly to assume the worst, and I hated that.

Both Ongsa and Kang had internalized homophobia in their respective series. Both were terrified of telling their mothers about their homosexual love interest. And in both cases, their mothers told them something along the lines of 'of course I will support you no matter what'. In Ongsa's case, even though she was outed by Sun without her consent, she's the one who ends up apologizing for her hesitancy and feeling foolish for her concern. In Kang's case, the show never challenges his mother's assertion that she'll always support him even though we know she hasn’t (she was the one who wanted to prevent him from studying art before his father died), and it’s the audience that was left feeling foolish for our concern. 

In the GMMTV round table for Pride Month, it was mentioned that the decision for Ongsa's mother to be accepting of her relationship with Sun was made in order to model good parental behaviour for the older generation in the audience. In the novel, Ongsa's mother presents a significant conflict, but this conflict was erased from the show. I don't know if the same decision was made in Only Boo! for the same reason or not, but either way, the show definitely signalled to Kang's mother having an issue with Kang's relationship with Moo, and then said "sike", which I did not enjoy. The Conversation panelists were correct in the conversation linked and transcribed above that this wasn't the most egregious misstep either show made, but it feels like a telling symptom of the larger overall narrative problems that New is also now succumbing to.

It seems as though telling stories stripped of queer conflict is being seen as progressive, and possibly also easier to sell, and this is where my anxiety lies around what this will mean for Thai QL content in future. 

For the record, I am all for creating queer content in which we envision a better world for ourselves. But when that is the goal, understanding where internalized homophobia comes from and thinking through how removing parental objection will affect the character and the story is vital to the story and characterization remaining coherent. Otherwise it just ends up feeling like the show is telling queer kids that they're paranoid, rather than rightly worried (like I wrote about in this thread on My Love Mix-Up Thailand, where the same decision was made again to fake out a homophobic subplot that was removed from the adaptation but was present in the source material).

These choices speak to adaptation choices with an eye for specific moments and story points, rather than to a narrative or character arc, which is where it feels like they fall into the wider pattern of what @bengiyo, @shortpplfedup and @ginnymoonbeam were describing in their discussion: shows caring more about hitting specific meme-able story points listed out on a whiteboard than about making cohesive sense or having something coherent to say. 

[So as not to leave it out: I don’t think there were concerns of homophobia in the Wandee Goodday novel (novel readers feel free to correct me if I’m wrong about this) but the show faked us out about homophobia concerns anyway, which again really bothered me during that watch and which adds to the pattern.] 

Now, of course, as I stated up at the top there is value in the creation of different kinds of media. These shows sell different fantasies than the ones I want to see, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have value.All of BL has some amount of fantasy that it’s buying into, that’s what comes with the territory of ‘fiction’. The BL bubble (in which homophobia doesn’t exist and all men are gay for each other) is a version that is at its most extreme; nothing bad ever happens that isn’t quickly resolved within an episode, so there is never narrative tension, and nobody really needs to be that concerned about how anything will go ever. I do not find these relaxing because I can’t buy into the fantasy they’re selling; for me, the lack of narrative tension is so unbelievable as to ruin my immersion. But I can see why that would be appealing for someone whose brain is not always on alert and running at 11/10! The problem I am anticipating is when the majority of content is made that way, and when it is done in a way that takes up all of the mainstream space. I think it’s notable that the only show that’s really felt not in the queer bubble from GMMTV in 2024 is Cooking Crush, which was done by a subsidiary team within GMMTV (and the same team went on to make Only Boo!). And this is why We Are caught my attention and made me nervous; When a director who is known for his representation of poignant queer angst makes an entire 16-hour series in which there are no significant conflicts at all and the only hint of homophobia is in Toey’s reference to being bullied prior to the timeframe of the series, I get worried about who is going to be making the queer angst shows in future!  

For the record, my personal preference for comfort shows are the shows that do not pretend the world is perfect, but do depict an idealized subset of that world→where there’s a group of people that support one another through the bullshit of others and the less than perfect world that surrounds them. Shows that teach us to be kind to one another, and ourselves. Shows that say the world is going to suck sometimes, but we can be good to one another, and not lose sight of who we are, and make space for others to be themselves. A few of my favourite Thai series that do this would be: 

Bad Buddy

Cooking Crush

City of Stars

Knock Knock Boys

Miracle of Teddy Bear

My Only 12%

Secret Crush on You

To Sir With Love

Until We Meet Again

(and of course these occur in non-Thai shows as well. A few examples of my favourites: What Did You Eat Yesterday, DNA Says Love You, Light on Me, Oppan, Marahuyo Project, TsukuTabe, Tadaima Okaeri, Koisenu Futari, Joshi-teki Seikatsu, Gameboys, Hehe and He, Twilight out of Focus, She Makes My Heart Flutter)

These are shows in which there are explicitly external judgments on the relationships in the show and/or the characters for things intrinsic to who they are, and the characters build a support structure in which folks are encouraged to be themselves within that ‘bubble’ (Bad Buddy walks a fine line because it’s within the BL bubble but the problems that the main couple face are so a direct allegory that everything feels familiar; this is also the case with Tadaima Okaeri, which is both omegaverse and one of the most beautifully kind shows of all time). 

So for now, I still have the other smaller Thai studios including Kongthup Productions (who made Knock Knock Boys; we’ll see whether their latest series Monster Next Door deals with any queer angst or not), idolFactory (just finished My Marvellous Dream is You, which had a ton of queer angst, and is currently doing The Loyal Pin, which I have hope for on this front), DeeHup (currently making I Saw You In My Dream, which I’m holding out hope for) and StarHunter Entertainment (who made City of Stars, but whose record is a little spotty on this front; Their latest, Sunset Vibes, has not done a great job of handling the theme of office relationships and blackmail so far, and feels very much in the bubble) to look forward to. 

But as you can see even just by virtue of the caveats I included above, it feels like this shift is happening in the smaller companies too (harder to see a real pattern with fewer data points, which is one of the reasons why I picked on GMMTV–in addition to it being the largest media conglomerate in Thailand and therefore able to take it). Maybe it’s nothing, maybe I’m just an anxious person. Or maybe I’m just wrong about what would be best for the genre and for queer people in Thailand as well as viewers all over the world. But I, for one, would find it a loss if Thai QL decides en masse to pivot away from queer angst, and right now it kind of feels like that’s what it’s doing. In this context, to reiterate my original point, the existence of We Are is not a problem, but is one in a set of exemplars that raised specific alarm bells due to the people involved and their history in QL and queer representation, its deviation from the source material, and the surrounding shows that seem to indicate a pattern rather than a one-off. 

[mrs-monaghan]

Claiming you are a OT7 army but pushing and promoting the hate towards taehyung makes you a hypocrite.

Jkkrs are slowly becoming the vermin by pushing false narratives to match their perception of taehyung. It has come to a point whereby we are also starting to base reality of Jikook around villainizing Taehyung. It disappointing honestly to undermine a 10+ year relationship that vmin publicly claimed as soulmates just becuz of social media posts. Dubbing words such as envious to a person Jimin deems important to him is utterly disrespectful.

At the end of the day... WE DO NOT KNOW THEM... so we should believe in their words rather than conspiracies that lead to outrageous conclusions. We jkkrs always preach about how we should only believe in what Jimin and Jungkook say but here we are disrespecting Jimin's words. Words that was just spoken in last week's Sapporo episode.

The truth of the matter is that Jimin and Taehyung are still very close. It justifiable hating Taehyung's subfandoms but hating him is not becuz it based off baseless theories.

More and more each day we jkkrs are starting to resemble the vermin. So fuckin disappointed.

I know you need a Jikooker to yell at, but I take issues when people accuse me of things I haven't personally done. Just because other Jikookers are acting a certain way, if I haven't done what they're doing, I resent being accused of it.

I. Shaz. Love. V. I wouldn't say that if I didnt. Trust me. Or don't. Either way, read this

I had this talk with some friends on discord but here is the thing. I may still care about V but I can understand why some people have washed their hands off of him. I've said this 1000 times but as long as Jikook keep loving V, so will I. But that doesn't have anything to do with holding V accountable for his actions. Jimin and JK may be okay with him, but us as fans are still allowed to question his behaviour.

Jikookers will complain that during FACE everyone and their dog made posts supporting the album except V. Then people like u will say, you don't know them personally, V probably praised him privately. And I would counter with the fact that V posted about Dday and TXT's album. Does that mean he didn't praise them privately???

Same thing happened with MUSE even though the guy finds a way to still be online all the time even while enlisted.

When Jikook were enlisting he posted that shirtless facetime screenshot of JK. Was Jimin not enlisting too?? Why didn't he post about him?

JK himself has come online to correct things that V said. Pointing out that, that's not how it happened. So if JK himself feels the need to correct misinformation, why are we being side eyed?

V promotes everyone except for Jimin, the vermin notice this just like we do and do you know what happens? They go to town on Jimin talking about how V only promotes good music. That Jimin makes garbage music and that's why V can't support it.

I assume you're here due to that post I just made about them not knowing eo as well as they used to. Bro, I ain't making this up. We have seen this with our own eyes. Them trying to guess things about eo and ending up being wrong. That wouldn't have happened way back when. I could talk about the many, many times he has gone quiet only to finally post when the fandom is focused on Jimin.

You say that we don't listen to members, except that's all I do. I watch Vmin chronologically and they're not the same. U would see it too if u did the same. Jimin seems tighter with Jungkook Jhope and V seems tighter with the Wooga Squad. And like I mentioned before, we've seen on original content JK come online to ammend something V said so... how is that me not listening to members? RM saying that V is not very good at self awareness, how is that not me listening to members?

Anon, Vmin aren't the same. U wanna live in denial thats fine. But don't be mad when those of us confident enough to talk about it, do.

.

.

.

Tkkrs hate Jimin because of his bond with JK. But Jimin has never done anything to V. Additionally he does things that makes those morons come for Jimin everyday. That's why jkkrs get upset with him. We don't have an issue with him just because he hangs out with JK or is the closest to JK (he not) And that is why angry anon, we will never be like the vermin.

[coucouatoi]

we're not who we used to be | h.s.

Pairing: Harry Styles X Reader

Summary: Some letters you've written but never sent to Harry over the years.

Warnings: Angst... so much... there's some fluff, emphasise on the some, there's a hopeful ending tho!

A/N: Sooo this is the childhood friends to strangers fic no one asked for... Hope you all enjoy! This is my writing debut in Harry land :)

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April 10' 2010

To: Harry Styles From: Your first fan

Hiya Harry,

It's currently 11:29 pm about 10 hours away from your audition. I figured since you told me to stop praising you and boosting your ego, I'm writing down the rest of the things I want to say.

Firstly, I know you're going to smash it! All the judges are going to want you in. There's no chance that they won't see how special you are, how you're the next big thing.

I won't let you back out of it last second! Anne, Gemma and I are ready to drag you onto the stage, we've discussed it thoroughly...

Secondly, I'm already so proud of you. This is a huge step, I know how nervous you are about it. How you think that everything is going to go wrong and that you'll fail. I've got enough hope in you for the both of us. I'll stand by your side the whole time and I'll cheer the loudest.

To finish, you're Harry Styles. You can do anything.

Break a leg superstar!!

Cheering you on already,

Your first-ever fan

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December 12' 2010

To: Harry Styles From: Your biggest fan

Harry!

You've made it all the way to the finals! It's crazy! I knew you could do it but seeing you go further and further has been surreal.

I hope you and the other boys get along well! We haven't had much chance to really gossip about it all, you seem excited with them!

The finale is set to start in about 2 hours and I had to get some emotions out (my mom was tired of hearing them... rude) Anyway! I remembered that I had written you a letter a few months ago and now I'm back in this notebook.

I'm so nervous, excited and kind of nauseous about watching the last episode tonight. I can't even imagine what you're feeling right now... You must be so scared but incredibly jittery!

I'm counting the days until I get to see you again! I want to hear everything that's happened behind the scenes! You know how nosy I am!

I've already taken up two pages so I'll stop for now.

You can do this!

Talk to you soon,

Your favourite person ever

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March 7' 2011

To: You From: Me <3

You called me Angel today...

I don't know what to make of that.

I had so many butterflies in my stomach.

Could you call me that again?

You're my favourite person,

Angel

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November 20' 2011

To: Harry From: Angel

Boo!

You finally let me listen to the full album today! Said you had to be there when I listened to it so you could give me all the secrets. You also wanted to see live how I reacted to every song. You're too cute.

"I Want" is my current favourite.

You did tell me that you'd resonated with a lot of the lyrics you sang on this album. That almost scares me.

How did you relate? Who was going through your mind?

You do have the world at your feet now. I shouldn't feel jealous but I do like having you all to myself. Don't worry I'll get used to sharing...

The Up All Night Tour is starting soon! I'm happy that you've invited me to come to some shows. I'll be there no matter if I have to miss school.

I have to show all these newbies that I'm THE biggest Harry Styles fan out there!

Hopefully, you thought about me while signing.

Because I think about you all the time,

Your favourite fan.

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April 13' 2012

To: Harry From: Angel

G'Day Mate!

So you're officially all the way in Australia now! That's so exciting I wish that you could have stuffed me into your suitcase... sniff

I bet it's super warm there! Or not wait their seasons aren't the same as ours, are they? I'm not even sure...

Hopefully, you can tan a little while you're there! Don't go near any animals or insects!!

I miss you a lot, maybe I'll send this one (spoiler I definitely won't).

Talk to you soon hopefully.

Go swim in the ocean,

Someone who wants to be in it

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August 29' 2012

To: Harry From: Angel?

You haven't come to see me since you've been back.

Too busy being a celebrity?

I've been seeing all these tabloids... I'm not allowed to be jealous I know but I miss you.

I hope you've missed me.

I really really wish you were here with me or that I was with you wherever you are now.

I just want to be us.

Have you forgotten your friend from the small town already?

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January 1' 2013

To: Harry From: Someone You've Hurt

I don't know what to think,

You kissed me. It made me happy.

You said it was a New Year's kiss.

You said you drank too much, it hurt.

You ended up kissing someone else about 20 minutes later.

That hurt even more it almost made me feel used.

I'm happy you were my first kiss.

I don't think you'll even remember it,

Y/N

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November 27' 2014

To: Harry From: Me

I love the new album, took me a while to finally listen to it. I thought you'd come home and make me listen to it in your presence.

You didn't. The first album that I've listened to alone.

Spaces and Fools Gold are my favourite songs. I wonder how many lyrics you resonate with. How many of them did you write?

Come home?

Only for a day please,

Your first Angel

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October 21' 2015

To: Harry From: Y/N

It's been a while,

It's your mom's birthday today. Well only for a few more hours...

She invited my family and me to the party, and of course we went. I didn't think you'd be there. I haven't seen you in almost a year.

It was fun.

Catching up about everything that's been going on with you and the band. Your life is so much more interesting than mine now.

I'm just a boring college student... you're this huge star but that's ok there's no one like you for me, you're my safe place. No matter how far away.

You asked about my love life and I told you about the date I had a few days ago. You asked if we had sex, I lied and said yes. I didn't want to embarrass myself by telling you no one's ever been with me like that.

We ended up getting drunk. Too drunk.

We fucked.

You took my virginity and you have no idea... should I tell you? You were so good. So gentle, loving but you fucked with a purpose, you needed to get off. I won't ever see your childhood bedroom the same way.

This was only a few hours ago.

I've felt every emotion about it. Now I'm crying because I know you'll find someone new to share a bed with. I'm just a notch in your headboard.

It meant everything to me.

But I think I regret it...

Y/N

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May 12' 2017

To: You From: Me

Really?

I hope Only Angel isn't about me.

But I'm overanalysing every single song. Is one about me? Did you think of me while making this album?

We haven't talked since the last time we saw each other. When we fucked again. It wasn't even the second time, after your mom's birthday two years ago we never stopped. It's all we do when we see each other.

It doesn't make me feel all that much better but I feel like if it wasn't for that we wouldn't even know each other anymore.

I'm moving away this year. Got a job offer in Canada and I'm taking it.

Maybe I'll get over you... hopefully.

I can't live my whole life waiting for someone who I don't know anymore.

I'm blocking your number.

I miss who we used to be,

Your first-ever fan

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December 4' 2019

To: H From: Y/N

Hello,

You've crawled your way back into my life, Harry. This morning, you decided to send me your album. Your new one, Fine Line. Your fans haven't even heard it yet. The public hasn't either.

You didn't write a single thing in your email, the mp3 link was staring me down with your automated signature. Not even a greeting.

I shouldn't have listened to it.

I don't know why you sent it to me. We haven't spoken or crossed paths in over a year. Not since I moved and tried to get rid of every way of contact between us.

I still haven't answered, I don't think I will.

You don't get to know what I feel about it. Not anymore.

I'm sorry Harry.

I've moved on,

Y/N

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

December 13' 2019

To: H From: Y/N

Your new album came out today.

I'm proud of you even if we are strangers now.

You're a superstar.

I always knew you would be,

Y/N

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

March 17' 2020

To: H From: Y/N

I saw that you had to postpone your tour.

You must feel so defeated.

I know I do. Everything's been closed and opened and closed again here in Canada. It's getting exhausting.

I hope the world starts working again soon.

This all sucks...

Crossing my fingers for the tour,

Y/N

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

May 18' 2022

To: Harry From: Y/N

Hi,

You sent me the album before the release again.

This time you did say something: I miss you Angel, Can we meet up?

I didn't think I could feel so many butterflies in my stomach. I felt like a teenager again. And I cried more than once listening to Harry's House.

I'm still considering if I should answer... if I do what should I choose? Should I agree and go into the unknown or forget it happened and keep on going with my life?

I miss you too... the one I knew. Not the one who used me. I guess I used you too... How did we get here?

All I want is to be loved and to be in love.

I'm not sure if I'm ready for the hurt this will bring but maybe I should just be a grown-up about this...

I want you back in my life.

That scares me,

Y/N

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

August 16' 2022

To: Harry From: Y/N

Well,

I'm going to the Love On Tour today and after we are going to "meet". We even have until the 20th because that is when your next show is, after today obviously.

You were so excited when I agreed.

It's almost as if no time has passed when we text (he changed his number in the last few years... no need for an embarrassing unblocking).

My friend, the one who convinced me to agree, helped me pick out an outfit. Thankfully for her, I won't stick out like a sore thumb in the crowd of feather boas and cowboy hats.

I really want this to work.

I want to believe that we can be good again. We can be healthy for one another again but I'll be worried until I see you.

Until we speak.

I won't let myself touch you, I have a feeling that it would be far too easy to fall back into a bed. Maybe a hug would be okay.

I'm excited for the show, to see the Superstar Harry Styles in action. After so many years you have to have evolved so much.

You aren't little Harry from Worcestershire anymore.

I'm not the same person I once was either.

See you tonight.

Break a leg,

Y/N

[autism-connoisseur]

i keep watching the penguin episodes almost a week late cause im watching w my dad okay but. i liked ep 7. i have a lot of thoughts about it. way too many, perhaps, so they're under the cut.

the explosion sofia sets off underground obviously damages crownpoint —an already heavily damaged neighborhood. in her haste to get to oswald she doesn't care that she's hurting the everyday folk, or maybe it didn't even cross her mind; just like when, in her haste to get revenge on the falcones, she didn't even think of what she would do to gia: orphaned, spared by some miracle... the same miracle that seemed to have taken her family away.

but back to sophia & crownpoint. crownpoint & this side of the city, in general, was the first thing vic and oswald talked about; the first foundation of the bridge upon which they stand (continuing the metaphor, one might argue that vic's stutter and the feeling of fellow disability it may have sparked in oswald was the reason the bridge was approved for building in the first place). but it's been also source of conflict between francis and oswald: she needed to escape it, so he took her away somewhere better, now he needs to escape that better place and they're back at where they started. i believe that francis is having these regressions in time as a combination of her illness and being back in the bad part of town, likely triggering the possible pstd from burying her two sons. then victor had to come back home & finally face squid: now he can never truly go back. cause sure he's dealing drugs and helping oswald and doing his part, but those make him someone. killing squid, that he'll never shake off. even if it does not get easier. vic is back where he was a mere months ago but irrevocably changed; this place has seen him born and then reborn.

so we have these three characters, on one side, intrinsically linked to crownpoint and what it stands for: poverty, helplessness, misery (even if life can be happy there: vic was happy, francis & oswald were happy) that they desperately try to live behind. they want a good life, the better life, and no one will give it to them, so they'll take it. even if it means standing against the families, who don't even know their names.

and that's why sofia does what she does. brings harm to harmless people, innocent people who (as we've seen in previous episodes) have already lost it all. and eva was right. sofia was born privileged. she will never understand the streets life. yes, that privilege didn't save her, didn't soothe her suffering one bit, but her mansion wasn't flooded, she doesn't know how it feels like to walk into a room and to know no one knows your name —this is both a blessing and a curse. the last ten years of sofia's life were torture in every sense of the word; but before then she didn't know what it was to truly fight for your life, your dignity, to stand your ground. and sofia, for all her rightful demands that people understand and see what was done to her —the injustice, the betrayal, the horror, the belittling, the pain, the loss of everything she ever had or held dear— has no qualms or worries about hurting others. because for her there is only revenge.

and last thing, i don't know if it was intentional, but the way oswald emerges from the explosion, sees all the damage, with his ears blocked and then suddenly unblocked, hearing all the confusion and chaos and suffering of people who have little to none to lose (because it already was), really reminded me of the moment in batman 2022 when the bombs go off and the flood begins. but i haven't seen the move in a while so i could be wrong. even so, it's the same. the struggle between the powerful, these two forces of nature almost, never ends well for the common folk. the blows they deal hit each other, sure, but it's always the defenseless who end up soaked in the aftermath.

[rikeijo]

Hi! I've heard somewhere that some lines of Yuuri's speech at the press con in episode 5 were mistranslated and that because of this, the speech comes across as if Yuuri doesn't know what exactly he is feeling for Viktor. I can't tell if it's really mistranslated, but I always found the subs in this scene a bit confusing. So, I'd love to know: how would you translate his speech?

Hi! Thank you for the ask!

I must admit that I've never properly watched Eng sub or dub version, and even though I bought the US edition to someday discuss some translation choices (that's imo super fun thing to do ✨) my only laptop that had a built-in DVD player broke down >.<

Sooo, I searched online for his speech in subtitles, but I'm not sure if the subtitles I've found are official...

"My theme in this year's Grand Prix series is "love". I've been helped by many people in my competitive skating career thus far, but I've never thought about "love" until now. Though I was blessed with support, I couldn't take full advantage of it. I always felt like I was fighting alone. But since Victor has showed up to be my coach, I've seen something totally different. My "love" isn't something clear-cut like romantic love, but the more abstract feeling of my relationships with Victor, family and hometown... I was finally able to realize that something like love exists all around me. Victor is the first person I've ever wanted to hold on to. I don't really have a name for that emotion, but I've decided to call it love. Now that I know what love is and am stronger for it, I'll prove it myself with a Grand Prix Final gold medal!"

If this is the official translation, then well, the overall message is close, I'd say, but at the same time, hmm... If you wanted to base a ""deep"" character analysis on it, it could probably lead you in a wrong direction... Especially the end is just mistranslated.

今年のグランプリシリーズで僕がテーマにするのは〝愛〞です。My theme for this year's Grand Prix series is "love".

今までのスケート人生いろんな人に助けられながらやってきましたが、愛について考えたことは一度もありませんでした。In my life as a figure skater until now, I've come to the place, where I'm now, while being helped by a lot of different people, but I haven't even once thought/pondered about "love".

恵まれた環境にいながらそれを生かしきれず、１人で戦っているような気持ちでずっといました。けど、ヴィクトルコーチが現れて、僕の見ていた景色は一変しました。I've always been in a very favorable ["for me to be a figure skater" in this context] environment, but I wasn't able to make a full use of it and I always felt as if I had been fighting alone. But, Coach Victor appeared and the scenery I see [that is: the way I see the world around me] changed completely.

僕の愛。それは分かりやすい愛や恋ではなくて、ヴィクトルとの絆や家族や地元に対する微妙な気持ち。My love. It's not [general] love or romantic love that is easy to understand, but my bond with Victor, and the lukewarm way I feel about my family and my local community. [This sentence, imo, is often mistranslated, but you can also argue about how it should be interpreted in Jp. However, to do that you have to be able to notice nuance just from the intonation of the sentence... For example, imo, because of where the VA makes a pause in the sentence, it should be "general love or romantic love that is easy to understand" and not "general love that is easy to understand or romantic love", but grammatically both option are possible. "微妙", when you look for the definition in a dictionary, is often translated as "subtle" or something similar ("abstract" is just a mistranslation, tho), but, imo, from the context, it should be the more modern meaning of the world, which basically means nowadays "not bad, I guess, but I don't really know". That's why Yuuko was offended by Yuuri's word choice. Also, based on the intonation and grammar (no need to have two "や"s in one sentence when giving examples) "bond with Victor" and "feelings towards family and local community" are two separate issues.]

ようやく自分の周りにある愛のようなものに気づくことができました。At last I was able to notice the love-like thing that is around me.

初めて自分からつなぎ止めたいと思った人���それがヴィクトルです。The first person that I myself [the vector of the action starts from Yuuri, it's an allusion to what the Nishigoris talk about with Victor in ep. 2] wanted to tie to me [and don't let them go] is Victor.

その感情に名前はないけど、あえて愛と呼ぶことにしました。This feeling doesn't have a name, but I decided to dare to call it "love".

愛を知って強くなった僕をグランプリファイナルの金メダルで証明しますっ！ I'll prove myself, who got to know what love is and because of that became stronger by [winning] a gold medal in the Grand Prix Final. [The way it's worded suggests that Yuuri wants to prove his own "worth", not necessarily that what he says is true - it's not "I want to prove that...", but "I want to prove myself, who...".]

Oh, and by the way, if you read the speech carefully, Yuuri talks about "two loves" here - first, he explains that his theme is "love" and what that word "love" means to him - so "something like love, that is around him", and only then he starts talking about one more feeling - the feeling that doesn't have a name, but he decided to "dare to call love" - and that is what he feels for Victor. Because the word "あえて" is there, and it means "dare to", do something "daringly", to me it always felt as a variation/reference to the famous quote from Oscar Wilde's lover, Lord Alfred Douglas' poem "The love that dare not speak its name", but maybe that's just me ✨

[lyranix1201]

I have so many plot ideas for a nevermore fanfic, but there is a small problem.......

I need to write it😭.

(it feels like torture not being able to write something, that you have been planning to write for so long).

It's a pity because I have so many ideas, like:

2 pirate AU (one of them, is were lenore is the captain of the well know myth called the flying Dutch man. and the other one, is lenore being a pirate and meeting a fortune-teller/princes Annabelle lee)

Mafia/cleaning service AU [ let me explain myself 💀. basically lenore and some of her friends (Berenice, Duke and pluto) work for this organization called Nevermore cleaning service, whose main objective is to Clean up crime scene's for the mafia.] (I have been writing the first chapter since April, and I'm still not finished😭 I hate being a perfectionist sometimes.)

3 what if scenarios. [ what if lenore didn't run after Annabelle after their argument (in this fanfic, I am pretty much just torturing Annabelle and lenore, I'm not even kidding 🙂���. I am going to put lenore and Annabelle lee through hell and back ). what if the misfits and the clusterfuck (we need better names for them) team up and escape nevermore, and I mean they team up immediately after they meet. What if Annabelle and lenore actually made a good plan together and didn't die.]

Jazz club AU ( everyone is dead and works in a jazz club except Annabelle lee)

Train conductor AU (technically you could call it that. Everyone is basically trapped on a moving train.)

"Mr. And Mrs Smith" AU ( inspired by the serie that came out in 2024 on Prime, not the movie. I have currently only seen 2 episodes, in summer break I will finish watching it.)

One were everyone works in a hotel and everyone is also death.

One were I got inspired by the series called "Umbrella Academy" that is on Netflix ( I remember watching this series like 2 years ago, and let me tell you something. well watching this series it felt like I was having a fever dream😵‍💫, and it didn't help that I was having an all nighter.)

Cult AU

Time traveler/Imortal AU

Superhero AU

Vampire AU ( you can't go wrong with Vampires)

A fanfic inspired by a books that I found in my portuguesa school library. The book is caled the "magician nephew"( yes it is in English, somehow I found a few English books there. I haven't finished reading the book, exam season is killing me.)

One were we follow theo in nevermore

one-shots( were lenore and Annabelle lee are just spending time together)

One were the cast are going on a camping trip.

And last but not least, 2 crakefics. one is inspired by a childhood series that I used to watch when I was a kid, that is on Disney channel called lab rats. And the other one, that I somehow promise myself to make, that is a lenore as snow White fanfic.

There are many reasons why I haven't finished one Goddamn chapter of any of the fanfic.

Knowing multiple languages (dutch, english, Portuguese and French) is a blessing and a curse, My dyslexic ass can't write for shit. I have so many difficulties in writing in all languages and i can't even write a simple frase in English, without going through the seven stages of grief.

(funfact: I fucked up, I couldn't even write the word dyslexic correctly, I wrote it like: deslesic at first 😭☠️) how the fuck can i be dyslexic in 4 goddamn languages. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME.... FREE ME FROM THIS TORMENT.

[the-martyrfication-of-the-matron]

Alright, I’m gonna ask because I’m lost.

First of all good morning/day/night

How do I approach Aphmau(MCD and Mystreet) again? Used to watch it as a child and now I basically forgot about it, any pointers?

(I’m mostly asking because I want to write a fanfic on it, so there’s that.)

i'm assuming you're asking about where to start with watching them. which is fair. if i'm wrong, correct me, irdm.

I'll be honest, i did make a whole list of everything in chronological order, but this is my personal watch order.

MCD S1 -> MCD S2 -> PDH S1 -> PDH S2 -> MyS S1 -> MyS S2 -> MyS S3 -> MyS S4 -> Aphmau's Year -> MyS S5 -> MyS S6 -> Her Wish it's the entire MCD/MyS universe (barring most Side Stories), in chronological order.

you don't need to watch it in chronological order, but i would personally, just since.... it's easier. also means you'll get all the MCD references in MyS. because there are a lot of those.

Optionally, you could also cram MCD S3 in there somewhere... but don't,

here's the fat list, incuding the side stories i knew about.

-- Minecraft Diaries / MCD timeline

MCD: Origins (optional)

MCD: Rebirth (incomplete, optional): a remake of MCD:S1, was never finished.

MCD: Season One -- OR, MCD: S1 Lore: A video summary of the entire season.

Void Paradox (optional): maybe watch Mod Mod World first...

MCD: Season Two

DO NOT WATCH MCD: SEASON THREE...

jk, you can, but... do consider, most people hate it, it isn't considered canon by most fans, and it is incomplete... and shit... so... yay. no shame if you do end up enjoying it, though.

-- My Street / MyS timeline

Phoenix Drop High: Season 1

Phoenix Drop High: Season 2:

PDH Side Stories: Upsidedown Stories (optional)

Phoenix Drop High: Graduation Days (optional)

Falcon Claw University (optional)

Minecraft (Roleplay) Side Stories (optional): Technically MCD side stories, but like... modern aus... so... MyS timeline. Only important one is The Big Move

MyStreet

Love Love Paradise

Detours! (optional): haven't personally watched, the side stories of LLP.

The Bigger Move (optional): A side stories set between LLP and LV.

Lovers' Lane

Holiday Side Stories (optional): some of LV's side stories are holiday themed: Fall Festival, Holiday Special and New Years Party.

non-holiday Side Stories (optional): LV has a lot of side stories, man.... i think the most important are the 'Aaron's Ticket' episodes...

Emerald Secret

Aphmau's Year: i may have swapped the colour order just to have ES be green shhh.

Starlight Wonderland

When Angel's Fall

Her Wish: Another Side Stories, the closest we'll probably get to season 7.

Side Stories (optional): Why the fuck are there so many. There's more. I liked the D&D ones tho.

[tuliharja]

BLEACH: Thousand-Year Blood War - The Conflict episode 1 review

After almost a year Bleach: Thousand-Year Blood war anime is back on the air! I would be lying if I wrote I hadn't been expecting it to come last month (September) because the second cour started to appear back then. But it's a good thing the cour 3 finally started!

Despite that, I think the first episode was a bit mid. The sole reason is the fact almost half of the episode was a recap of last cour's two last fights. Don't get me wrong, I still think Senjumaru's fight against the Quincies was epic, and seeing her Bankai was wonderful. Ichibe going against Yhwach was also something to be mesmerized about, but because those fights were so epic...at least I could remember those as clearly as if I had just yesterday finished watching cour 2's last episodes. Even so, while I found it a bit puzzling why there was such a recap, I could somehow understand it. It'll give the animators (hopefully) a budget for other epic scenes yet to come and once the anime finally truly picked itself, it felt just a natural continuation. Even so...it made me question 'what if they had cut out that recap and used that time for something else?'

But moving on. The third cour only kicked on after that recap and just like every manga reader would know, it was this time the quincies turn to win. The manga never showed us how, so seeing how Yhwach and Uryuu brought down both Ichibe and Senjumaru was interesting.

I really liked Uryuu's comeback against Senjumaru. I believe we haven't really seen Uryuu going so strongly against anyone except at the very beginning of the Bleach Mayuri. Which Senjumaru made the comparison. It almost made me laugh when she made that comment. It was like her breaking indirectly the fourth wall!

Yhwach vs. Ichibe was epic. The fact Ichibe broke down to that poem-ish singing middle of the fight to bring a new side of his Bankai (as youngsters these days would call it [talk about Ichibe and Senjumaru slaying things with their witty choice of words]) was epic. The animation was also epic. It felt very unique and refreshing, despite the fact there was some 3D here and there, but the makers still made it work. Too bad, Yhwach had seen that all and claimed his victory just like Uryuu who ended up playing Senjumaru like back with Mayuri, but hopefully this time without as big a cost as with Mayuri. Truly. Uryuu vs. Senjumaru felt like a parallel to Uryuu vs. Mayuri. But with that twist, this time Uryuu was the bad guy -at least from a certain perspective.

I also felt a strong parallel when Ichibe asked Ichigo to stop Yhwach. I don't know, but that parallel felt like a parallel to Kisuke? I can't now remember (it has been quite a long time) if Kisuke ever asked Ichigo to protect Soul Society or sort of, but the way Ichibe talked, his behavior, and the fact 'you don't have to kill the Quincy King (Yhwach) to protect Soul King, just stop him' just gave me massive Kisuke vibes asking things from Ichigo. I know many other shinigami have asked Ichigo to protect Soul Society when they haven't or sort of, but this...just like déja vu. I feel like this episode as a whole had lots of parallels. It was...interesting from that perspective.

Yhwach thrusting his blade to Soul King felt very ominous at the end. That and paired with the next episode's title, we can expect something epic next time!

Plus, the hint of Kyoraku going to see Aizen? I can't wait to see Aizen joining the fryer, since it won't just be your usual social visit Kyoraku will do.

Lastly, the opening of this cour is just epic. I really love the aesthetic of a monochrome setting with hints of color. It capture's viewer's sight of certain things while making the viewer somewhat 'blind' to other things that might occur. The ending made me giggle as the music sounds so upbeat and happy-happy, even though the words aren't that happy-go-lucky nor are the animations. But the beat being like that after things end with an ominous note? Yeah, talk about the contrast between things. In fact, the ending felt like playing with contrasts as Uryuu was on the side of the 'darkness' while Ichigo was on the side of 'light', yet in the end...they felt like just two opposites of the same coin, meeting somewhere in-between. The midnight sun was something that caught my attention when I watched the ending and read the lyrics of the song. It was obviously a figure of speech, but somehow...it felt a significant one. Also, once again, the fact the ending song's name was 'MONOCHROME' while the opening was almost fully monochrome felt like a huge parallel between the two things. In fact, the whole episode felt like it had lots of parallels...

[dk-wren]

I haven't seen anyone talk about this yet, but it's something I caught/thought about while watching ep. 11. (If someone has already pointed this out and provided a more in-depth and eloquent explanation, then my apologies).

This is one of the first times Kazuki is shown fighting with a gun in the main timeline. I might be wrong, but the only other time Kazuki is shown fighting with a gun is in ep. 7's flashback to the night Yuzuko was killed.

Kazuki has been shown handling a gun in promotional art and technically used a gun in the prologue of ep. 1. (While you might disagree, I'm not really counting that moment since, at least for me, it's still unclear as to where the prologue falls into the overall BD timeline and there wasn't much of a fight leading up to Kazuki firing it). With this in mind, ep. 11 is the first time we really see him in action with a gun.

For one thing, as Rei talks about in this episode, Kazuki is the "brains" of the duo. So, when they work together, Kazuki does most of the recon, scouting, and distracting (Exp: their assigment from ep. 2 or Rei mentioning how the scout missions Kyu gave them in ep. 5 matches more with Kazuki's typical work). Since this series has more or less revolved around Kazuki and Rei as a team, we've only really seen Kazuki on missions with Rei, who is likely the better-trained or more accurate shooter/gunsman. Therefore, Kazuki takes on the more info gatherer role. Also, as an assassin, I highly doubt Kazuki is that inept at using a gun. Instead, he's just normally not in a role that requires him to use one.

I like to think Kazuki hasn't used or fought with a gun since Yuzuko's death. This could potentially be because he links her death to the necessity of fighting with a gun or after her death, Kyu did not believe Kazuki was mentally in a space to handle a gun or a mission that might require him to use one. Or perhaps, Kazuki was always more interested in and better at his scouting assignments, so once he was paired with Rei, he no longer felt the need to have to continue fighting in this way (or refusing missions that required him to use a gun).

Regardless, I think it would be so interesting that Kazuki's concern over Miri's safety is what pulls him out of this fear or refusal to fight with a gun. Someone, or rather Ogino (again), is threatening his family, so Kazuki's gonna do whatever it takes to protect them.

Given his line of work, I think Kazuki has a deep understanding of how guns can destroy and can protect. In Yuzuko's case, Kazuki witnessed the destructive and deadly side of the gun. After spending years reflecting on this, and recently giving himself the permission to change as a person, when it comes to Miri and Misaki, Kazuki now understands how he can use this weapon of death to protect the ones he loves. Yes, it is still a bringer of death, but this time Kazuki is gonna try everything in his power to not allow it to be for his family.

While Misaki did not survive, Kazuki was able to protect Miri. I don't think "inspired" is the right word, but something about Miri being in life-threatening danger is what caused Kazuki to just rush into the Unasaka's apartment, ready to fight whoever was threatening his little Miri. Kazuki fighting in a way that is unlike his normal style on assignments and being so willing to run into battle with little preparation was just one of the many things that stuck out to me from this episode. Essentially, Miri was in danger and Kazuki was gonna stop at nothing to protect her, perhaps that's why he opted for a gun this time. Kazuki was gonna use the weapon he associates and has first hand experience with, in terms of its ability to cause death, to take out any threat that would try to harm Miri.

[lonelylonelyghost]

Re-watch of The Spirealm. Episode 7

A crazy scientist. Scrawny lil dude of a man. I like him

A mysterious building where you can hop through different timelines by going up and down the stairs. A hotel where you'll likely to be murdered but it's also the only place that is safe from the poisonous fog outside, which may or may not contain zombies.

The concept is amazing. You can come up with so many other stories!

Every Door is truly a distinct world, no matter how small, with its own aesthetic, little details, characters and history. One of the reasons why I love this show.

Another reason for my love for this show. A smart little cookie.

The other little cookie. He's currently practicing for an upcoming boop

He's me. Down to the hair, the outfit and the posture. My spiritual twin omg

:(

He did lots of messed up stuff, but here you can feel the relief and exhaustion washing over him after so long. It's finally over. He did everything he could to save his mother and then some, while slowly drowning deeper and deeper in the darkness himself. And now that he has managed to fix the timeline and right the wrong, you can see that terrified 10 year old boy's face showing up behind the Wizard's facade.

Beautiful and heartbreaking.

Lmao WHAT I haven't noticed the guy in the background before, what is that expression AHAHAHAHAH

Me, watching my otp interact asldkaslk

"Move to Obsidian. When you move there, Chestnut might let you get closer to him."

Blackmailing your future husband with his own cat. Oh, Nanzhu, the menace that you are

Ah, to be coerced or not to be coerced. That is the question.

Fuck it. Chestnut is worth everything. Just look at this cutie patootie

He looks goooood here

Ding! New item acquired: a second cat.

Qualities: strong, smart, dramatic, possessive and actually not really a cat.

Congratulations and good luck!

The beauty in need of lychees.

You can never go wrong with some hurt/comfort. Also, if you look form the side and squint, you can see them holding hands. What a nice shot

I mean, what else can I say here?... Nothing. I can only look

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

if you're interested to know about the show- you really didn't miss much lol especially you having been a fan for so long what they showed in AYS wasn't anything we haven't seen before except for not hiding their bodies like they usually do. The show didn't show me anything new about their dynamic or them as people. They spent 80% of the time at restaurants or just eating the other 10% was actual activities 5% of them talking (which by the way they really have nothing substantial to talk about it which was probably the only surprising thing about this show- their conversations were either bringing up the other members or them bickering about something dumb) you can tell there was alot of dead silence that was edited out because one moment they're talking then it gets quiet then it cuts to them on their phone lol the last 5% i would say was what people consider typical jikook like jimin being affectionate playful touches yadda yadda yadda

all in all it was kind of eh. I feel as though tbe target audience was for heavily jikook biased only because as an outsider I can't imagine how boring it must have been- even for an army I bet it was okay for them.

Hi, thank you. It's okay, though 😅

After so many years I've learned how to navigate through content and watch only the parts I'm interested in, and that's basically what I did to watch Jimin's clips because I wanted to see what he looked like, or some of his opinions.

I can also tell when something might be relevant or it could be new information, so I watch that too. I'm also able to realize if I need more context around a clip or gif, and in that case I usually look for a longer clip, subtitles, translations, etc. I might even go to the source and watch the episode myself, which is what I did for example when taekook had that conversation in ITS 1. I never watched the show, but I have watched that episode. Gifs, pictures and clips without context are reactionary mostly, and people post them for fun or whatever. But when you go to the source content more often than not is not that impressive after getting the full picture.

As for the show, there's a post I made months ago, around the time it was announced, where I said I had questions about 2022, 2023, and they weren't going to give me answers, so I couldn't bring myself to be interested. And nothing has proven me wrong so far. Them saying they didn't really meet up in 2023 wasn't one of my questions, I was already certain of that so it was more of a confirmation. All in all, I knew how they were going to act because I've been watching them every single day for the past 7 years.

Watching Jimin listen to his music was probably the most relevant thing to me lol. Because we hadn't really seen that! He basically went MIA a while after face, and besides from the hot 100 live, we didn't get to see many of his reactions to his own music. I'm not talking about reacting to achievements but him just listening and appreciating his songs.

Also, his body. Like. I really thought we'd never ever see his full moon tattoo that way.

I've started watching the last episode because it's one of the last stuff Jimin filmed before enlisting, so I want to see it. I still haven't finished it, but yeah I'm watching that just fyi.

I disagree that Jimin was touchy, though. In fact I've noticed he's rather reserved in his interactions with Jungkook, compared to what he used to be like up to 2021ish. But that's also something that's been noticeable for a couple of years. For the record, I don't think any of them were touchy or clingy or none of that stuff. There's a reason the only clip people I've seen people use of them touching is the one from the first or second episode 😭 that's like 1 minute out of 9 hours of content.

[onyxsboxes]

I haven't had the time to read the latest 100th Find Out which is a tragedy if you ask me but I hope to have the time to properly read and review it by wednesday ❤️ In the meantime, I wanted to ask you, I think you mentioned somewhere that Wolf!Buck had some scars from fights, does he often get into fights? Are there any other Were in the Air Force or the RAF that he got into a fight with ?

Ps: I'm now stuck with the idea of Buck getting hurt in a fight and not being able to hide it because of his light fur and either Bucky finding him like that or Buck turning back into Human form to hide his wounds but Bucky still finding out. I swear I didn't mean for my whump tendencies to shine through like that 😭

Hi there, hope you are doing well.

Thank you for the ask 🥰

If you know how many new chapter notifications I still have to read…. 😅.

(I'm leaving the rest under the mark because it's longer than expected)

I think you're talking about this post and specifically this part: "He has scars: some date back to his childhood, the bite, and serious injuries he's accumulated over the years. Most of them are usually hidden under his clothes."

Gale doesn't get into many fights on his own. In fact, it's mainly because of Bucky and the 100th that he fights most often. Thankfully, he can be pretty intimidating effortlessly, so people back off pretty quickly when the tall, quiet leader stands up. When he fights however, pray you're not on the other side, because he knows how to fight, and viciously.

Were-people are not common. Because most were-types are territorial, they don't like to move around much. The army has the highest concentration of were-people, compared to the navy and air force.A large number of werewolves in a small area can quickly turn nasty, especially if it's a new werepeople. In support functions (administration, technical, logistics, etc.), they are much more numerous. In the air force/RAF, weres are mainly werebirds (they are very good meteorologists) and werecats but not a lot of them fly. Some werebirds even get airsick when they fly, because their bird parts go haywire when they're not changing while they are up there.

In the 100th group, Buck is the only were-people. This isn't unusual and doesn't bother him at all, because he keeps his distance from the others.

During his childhood, and especially after he was bitten, everyone watched him like a hawk, waiting for him to lose control, to make a mistake. The villagers wanted nothing more than to see him lose it, so they could justify their actions. That's also why he doesn't fight. Because to fight would mean losing control, proving them that he's dangerous, wild and untrustworthy (even if it's only in self-defense). But there are also things he won't let go of, things that break his resolve to prove them wrong. And that's when people attack what's his.

During the bar scene in episode 2, Buck almost gets into a fight with another were, but Curt takes the fight. During the training days, he got into several fights with people who spoke ill of Bucky (calling him a mutt and other degrading terms). Buck loses it, not because of the insults (which are bad, but to which he's unfortunately accustomed) but because they're talking about Bucky. People quickly learn that Bucky and the 100th are under his protection. Newbies learn not to talk about Bucky's dog-like behavior (werewolf to them) if they don't want to get on the wrong side of Major Cleven's wrath.

Oh whump, I love these. Don't worry, I've got plenty too.

In this au, the were-form also shows a psychological aspect. Someone can be in perfect health physically, but if they're not in good health psychologically, it will show on their were-form: dull coat, lost feather, lost hair, behaviors, ….. So for Gale, who always shows a strong front, Bucky can always tell when he's not well when he shifts.

I have two fic ideas about Gale's whump where he breaks down. For one the trigger is more physical and for the other more psychological (but for both there is an important psychological part). I'm still working out the details and writing, but part of these ideas is that Bucky finds out.

Hope the answer isn't too messy.

[addicted-to-the-knife]

Because I want it as official canon in my head for your friend file 🗂️

Top 5 Hugh Dancy roles & why

jdwkhfsjhfsj hi, hello, thank you! x') <3

1. Nolan Price (Law & Order)

you know it. my man. I'm so in love with him, it's not even funny anymore. and I love who he could be if the writing of that show wasn't what it is. he could be a breath of fresh air, considering he'd been a defense attorney for ~20 years and switched to being a prosecutor; but somehow they managed to never bring that up or use it to make Nolan a better character after the first two or so episodes. I mean, they never utilise him like a real character anyway, so idk what I expected. but anyway! I love him because he's incredibly caring in every way. he clearly loves what he does and he wants to do what is right. he's not afraid to admit when he's wrong and do better. he's prepared to listen and work something out. and his experience as a defense attorney, who also worked with Project Innocence, allows him to view defendants differently. like he hasn't lost that part where he knows that they're also human beings with their own stories that should be respected. he's more aware of his part in the system as a prosecutor than most of the DA's office is, and I really appreciate that about him because it makes him a better attorney and a much more interesting character. (again... that's who he is and should be; but the writers haven't really delved into that in a while. he's almost unrecognisable at times in the newest season, unfortunately.)

2. Will Graham (NBC Hannibal)

I mean, duh. it's Will Graham. the character that introduced me to Hugh Dancy back in ~2018. no, but seriously. I see myself in him. a lot. too much for comfort. but even that is sometimes strangely comforting because even the ugliest parts of myself are things I appreciate in Will and can live through him without, um, consequences or feeling bad about myself. I love that we met him as somebody who's so determined to help others even at the cost of his own life, and have that turned around into somebody who acts selfishly and manipulatively, but who also hasn't lost that goodness about himself. somebody, who enjoys violence that he's tried to avoid for so long. all because the right (or wrong, depending on who you ask) person saw the truth inside him and managed to shine a light on that in an irreversible way. I just love his entire arc so much. it's something that feels very personal to me.

3. Cal Roberts (The Path)

the man that desperately needs a hug and therapy. so much therapy. I love him so much for once again being a very complex character. we meet him as this cult leader that is misleading everyone around him, manipulating them, and barely holding on by a thread most of the time. until we find out why that is. until we see and realise what lies beneath and why he is the way he is. and I need to wrap him up in a blanket and shield him from the world that has hurt him so much... honestly such a grandiose performance from Hugh, like always, but this one sticks with me in particular because it's so depressing to watch it all unfold and for Cal to only become worse with every episode (in the way that it becomes harder to push away his traumatic past, but he's too afraid to face it completely, so instead his psychological state becomes worse the longer it all goes on, and the consequences of his actions become overwhelming and pile up to make everything much harder for him). I don't know how many times I just wanted to sit down and cry for Cal while I watched the show.

4. Luke Brandon (Confessions of a Shopaholic)

cannot stand the movie (that's not entirely true. I like it as a rom-com, but Rebecca is insufferable and makes it very hard for me to sit through the entire movie); but Luke is very special to me. honestly, perfect man. 10/10, I wish my future husband was like him (or Nolan. either one of them. preferably Nolan, but... let's not aim too high, lmfao). I mean, come on. that charming British accent, the fluffy hair... the fact that he's all about saving money and making that accessible to those that need the advice most. that's the thing that made me love him so much. that he thinks about the "common people" and the ones most reliant on saving money. those who are usually lied to by companies and other advisors. the fact that he technically comes from money and rejected that. UGH, I'm so weak for characters like him.

5. Adam Raki (Adam 2009)

the character that basically holds up a mirror to my face and makes me feel so many things that I don't really like (because ✨trauma✨), but appreciate that I'm not alone with. personally, I think he's a well-written, and especially acted, autistic character. extremely accurate for those that are similar to him. while I share traits with Will, like hyper empathy, I also share maaany traits with Adam. and it's just... nice. to see that. to see him be a grown adult that learns and adapts, but doesn't change who he is, and that he gets to do what he enjoys in the end. I'm also glad that he and Beth didn't stay together, after all. as jarring as that was for me the first time around, I realised that they weren't good for each other; and I'm pleasantly surprised that they weren't forced to stay together by the writers just so it was a typical romantic movie ending. I love the realism of the difficulties and the ups and downs, as painful as it can be to watch for me. you know how much it triggers me. so I often avoid a re-watch. but it sticks with me, and I appreciate Adam for the character he is; especially for the time the movie came out in.

[mekazashitpost]

S4 SPOILERS AHEAD! SCROLL AWAY!!!!!

I honestly liked the last season. I do still have a bunch of questions that were never bought up ever again which sucks.

If they needed to sacrifice their marigold/themselves for everything to fix itself..then what about the other kids? There were 36 children created (I think??? I haven't watched season 1 in like 2 years so correct me if I'm wrong) only 14 were found/adopted (15 if you count Ben twice) sparrow academy all died, Sloane just vanished, emo Ben carried over with the rest of the UA..what about the others?

On-top of that, what about the Ben with the glasses at the end of season 3? Is that supposed to just be emo sparrow Ben before he went and did the crypto shit?

Also what happened to Allison's rumour? Like did the writers forget she had that ability or?? There's just so many times she could have rumoured something and be fine. ESPECIALLY when that guy hit her on the head with the metal bat so her power wasn't working. Ma'am, seriously? Your blinking eyes won't work? Ok, "I heard a rumour you punched yourself in the face with that bat" "I heard a rumour you told me where Klaus was" SIMPLE.

I feel like with the 4 missing episodes for the final season, everything was just rushed. It felt like everything was just "this happened and then this, oh and that happened but that's ok- OH AND HERES THAT! Oh nevermind we won't bring it up again, this happened by the way lol".

There's plot holes from what I can see and possibly even more as people watch it and point them out. I wish they got to address things. In saying this though, it is 3am and I only just finished the season since it came out whilst I was working, so I'm most likely just misremembering everything anyways..

I will say this though. I did like the ending, it felt right. If they were the reason the timelines were fucked, getting rid of them permanently was the best cause of action for both the end of their stories and the happy end for series. Im glad they came back as flowers in the end though, just a way of saying "hey, I'm still here"

[shootforthestars-28]

How we are with this season finale of Chicago pd...

What the future hold??

I have *so* many feelings post-finale! 😅

My thoughts are below the cut so, for those of you who haven't seen it yet, there are spoilers below.

Firstly, I'm truly gutted that we're losing Tracy from the cast but at least she got a better, more believable send-off than Jesse did. I still can't get my head around how they thought it was appropriate to have Jay simply up and leave Hailey after everything they had been through up until that point. It really just doesn't sit right with me!

Secondly, why the fuck was Chapman the one to sidle up to his gurney before he got loaded into the back of the ambulance?! I swear to God, if she becomes his love interest in Season 12, I'm rioting! 😅 While I do agree that perhaps the events of the finale might be the start of Hank opening up to someone, I really don't think it can be her. The dynamic of him being in a meaningful relationship with someone who, professionally, would go over his head at the drop of a hat, I don't think would work. He values trust and loyalty too much to let that happen.

Speaking of trust and loyalty...Alvin!! 🥹 How I loved seeing those to share the screen once more. Watching that scene, I found myself feeling really nostalgic for the older seasons when we got to see a more comedic Hank... mainly because it was Alvin with whom he shared those moments with. But this was an excellent little addition to the episode that was well written, well directed and superbly portrayed.

I thought the father/daughter arc was a sweet angle to take on Hailey's departure, albeit very similar to that of Erin's. I'm pleased to see that the door for both Jay and Hailey is very much open but it was evident to see that it wasn't Hank and Hailey on screen in the last few moments of the episode - that was very much Jason and Tracy.

Upton fans have been really vocal on socials this year on how afraid Tracy is of Jason and how intimidating he is on set when the evidence to the contrary is so overwhelming it's almost amusing! There is clearly a lot of love, respect and affection between all of the cast members which is seen in the plethora of behind the scenes photos and videos we get from the cast and crew. Having visited the set a few times myself, I can verify that first hand.

I have watched and re-watched the video posted on social media of Jason 'yelling' and 'swearing' at Director Jesse on set when, in actual fact, they were running through a scene and Jason asks Jesse "why are all the fucking cameras over here?". Jesse replies and Jason says "oh, okay" and runs the scene again. Anyone who knows even the smallest amount about Jason knows that he's a swearer. I'm not saying that's the right or wrong way to behave but after spending nigh-on a decade around him, from what I can see, neither Tracy nor Jesse seem to be phased at all.

Overall, I think it was a fitting way to end the season.

In terms of what's next, well the unit is now down to four so I suspect we're going to need to more hands on deck! Whether Petrovic will decide to stay or not, I'm not sure but one thing we definitely need is more Detectives! Hopefully the time has finally come for Officers Burgess, Ruzek and Atwater to finally pass their Detectives exams!

We're also due a Burzek wedding which I'm hoping to God Trudy Platt is heavily involved in!

And I'd love to see a happier Hank. With all the loss he's experienced, I'm hoping he can find something/ someone that makes fighting to live in the finale worthwhile... just as long as it's not Chapman 😂 He needs a Det. Katherine Meadows in his life 😉

I could go on forever but thank you for asking my opinion 💛

[tua-five]

Season 3 Episode 3!!

⚠️⚠️ You know the warning, don't read if you haven't watched this season! ⚠️⚠️

Don't be Elmer's guys. That's just mean.

I love how Diego is obviously stressed, flipping his knife, and when Stan makes one noise, he yells, "Stanley! Now is not the time to be doing karate, okay?" Like, he'd yelling but still sounds like he isn't trying to be mean. But then he says that Stan's mom isn't wrong when she says he needs to practice karate. I mean... at least he's trying.

With the way that they're siblings, I'm surprised they don't blow up at each other more. I mean, Allison is constantly blaming Five. I'd scream at her and tell her it isn't my fault, but Five just calmly says he's just the messenger.

I am in-between, however. Viktor says that Five has a good track record of this stuff, and they should listen to him. I mean, sure. If you count getting stuck in one of the apocalypse for 45 years, failing to stop it the first time, causing another one, stopping that one only to head back to their timeline where they don't exist and causing another one. But to be fair, most of it isn't his fault. And in all honesty, I'd probably be Allison, too. Blaming Five and all that. Even if I do hate it.

As much as it was unnecessary, I do actually like the random fight scene between Lila and Five. Grabbing the shampoo and squirting it in her eyes was just smart. I mean, that hurts.

Sorry, but Allison calling Fei a flock of shegulls was actually really funny.

She is dumb however for saying they had Marcus.

It seems all the hargreaves need to do is actually talk to each other. Five and Lila just walked off with both briefcases. Diego knew they had both briefcases. But Allsion and Viktor still think the Sparrows have it.

"Pills, bills, and num nums." Wow, okay. Reggie's life is sad now.

Gotta say, I really love the Five-Lila duo. They're literally just perfect. The best platonic relationship in the show.

Luther being oblivious and missing everything while he was gone is just... well, honestly, it fits for him and this family. I'm glad Diego and Luther are making buddy-buddy, tho.

And poor Stan studying the elevator 😭

Another thing I love is the father son bonding moment with Reggie and Klaus. Reg is just so out of it. Not his normal self because of the pills, but his real self still peaks through, and Klaus is literally just chilling. Talking to him like normal and giving him tips on how not to take pills.

Also, Luther wanting to make Viktor feel loved and throw him a party to welcome him to the brother side is so sweet.

I feel like Klaus is always on side missions. Doing absolutely for the plot but just there for some comedic relief. And then something will happen, like he'll find the kugelblitz in the basement and then everybody already knows, so it doesn't matter. But at least he finally knows.

When the Sparrows show up and both sides of the family face each other, people take pictures. Like that's the best thing they've ever seen. And it probably is, I mean, the superheros they know that protect their city are supposedly meeting with a random group of deranged adults. I hope they showed those photos to as many people as they could before they got kugelblitzed. Just to cause some chaos.

Also, I thought this episode was longer. I desperately want to watch the next episode to watch the interactions with Harlan and Lila saying she'll miss Five, but I'll wait.

Today's gifs