#also i have to clean a whole house tomorrow and this thing hurts like a motherfucker

[125storejuice]

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[roosterforme]

Okay, but how about the first time Jake and Darling have a fight? How would that go?

I really like your stories bc while it is fiction, I feel like you show every aspect of a relationship, not only the good parts.

🩷

OMG, nonny. I'm swooning. I try to make my stories realistic (as much as they can be for fanfic). Nobody is happy and confident all the time. Everyone is stressed about something. Relationships are hard work, and dealing with someone else is sometimes weird and annoying. So thank you, I appreciate that so much.

Jake and Darlin' argue all the time about all the small things in life. They have different opinions on a lot of things, but it's never usually anything they remember by the next day. I think their first big fight would happen shortly after she moves in with him, just after she graduates from school and starts her new job. (angsty below).

"I had the longest day at work," you muttered, shoveling the last bite of the dinner Jake made into your mouth. You set your fork down and stretched as you stood. This whole week was dragging. You realized you were probably complaining more than usual, but you were just over it. "Let's go take a bath and just go to bed. I'll clean up tomorrow morning."

Jake looked at you, his lips pressed into a firm line. "Go ahead. I'll clean it up."

You reached for his hand, but he was already stacking the plates. "You cooked. I don't want you to clean up. I'll do it later," you reiterated.

"Just go get in the bath," he snapped, carrying everything back to the kitchen.

"I don't want to take a bath without you!"

Jake dumped everything into the sink and spun around. "You're not the only one who's working full-time, but you're certainly acting like it."

With narrowed eyes, you asked, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Jake took a deep, practiced breath and let it out slowly. "I know you're tired, but it would be nice for you to acknowledge that I work longer hours than you do. So just go relax in the bath by yourself while I clean up."

"Well, now I don't want to!" You were suddenly so angry, you couldn't see straight, and you also wanted to cry. "You're treating me like a child!"

"You're acting like one."

His words hurt you more than a slap across your cheek would have, and your jaw dropped open. But then his next sentence made it even worse.

"In my house no less."

"Wow," you gasped, turning and running toward the bedroom as you started crying. It wasn't like you weren't paying to be here. You knew it wasn't much, but you had been insistant about giving Jake five hundred dollars per month. And for what? So he could act like you were an unwanted guest?

You ran into the bathroom and slammed the door behind you before you curled up on the tub mat on the floor and sobbed. Work wasn't like school. Trying to figure out how you fit in with your coworkers was exhausting, and you were still learning all the ropes. You drove back here every day mentally drained, and up until tonight, Jake was always the one who seemed willing to listen. You should have just cleaned up the kitchen, because now you felt like you didn't belong anywhere.

"Darlin'." Jake's voice was as sharp as his knock on the door. You tried to dry your tears, but it wasn't working, and maybe you really were a child compared to your boyfriend. "Darlin'!"

"It's not even locked!" you shouted, but it came out as weak as you felt. Jake opened the door, and in an instant, he was curled up on the floor with you, pulling you into his arms.

"Fuck. I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry I acted like an asshole." You tried to wriggle away from him, but he wouldn't let you. "I think I'm more exhausted this week than I'd like to admit, and I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

In spite of the fact that you were on the floor crying, you mustered up the courage to whisper, "I'm not a child."

"You're an adult," he said firmly. "An adult who just started a very impressive job. You're holding it together better than I did when I was in flight school." He kissed your forehead. "And you're absolutely right. We should have just climbed in our bathtub and then gone right to our bed. The fucking dishes do not matter right now. They can sit in our kitchen sink until whenever the fuck we feel like cleaning up."

Jake rubbed slow, soothing circles against your lower back until you were all cried out. If you thought you were tired before, it was nothing compared to how wrung out you felt now. You wanted to put forth a peace offering and just get up and clean the kitchen, but his lips were on your damp cheek and his voice was in your ear. "I love you, Darlin'. It has been a long week for both of us. I would like nothing more than to climb in a hot bath with you, relax until the water gets cold, and then get in our bed and go to sleep."

You nodded and started the water while he got two towels ready, and then both of you undressed. Jake kissed your bare shoulder and held you while the tub filled. "You belong here," he whispered. "I don't want you anywhere other than our house."

[trash-magics-blog]

Konig Headcanons Sfw + NSFW

These are just some things that I think would be cute for him!

*********Sfw*********

1. He is more gentler when dating him, like he won't be much of a tease cause he would be scared to hurt your feelings… BUT, he will do anything to make you laugh like jokes, funny noises, tickling ect…

2. His most like, noticable love language is either physical touch or acts of service, he loves to carry your bags and clean up around the house and for the physical touch he loves to hold your hands and LOVES when you hold his arm in public(it makes him feel confident) and he also really likes to put his head on your shoulder whenever he gets a little overwhelmed in public

3. HE IS YOUR BEST HYPE MAN… he will make you feel so pretty and will literally encourage you to wear whatever you want flashy or not. If you are feeling unsure about a dress and you ask him he will shower you in so many compliments about how you would look stunning in it, he wants people to know he is with the most gorgeous person ever

4. He will speak in German sometimes, like call you pet names or compliment you, he may even teach you some German so you guys can talk to eachother. Leibling, shatz, maus are some of what he would use as pet names

5. He would kinda follow you around and stick very close near you, and whenever you guys are in public he will stand close behind you, it's safe to say you do more of the talking then he does, and he may be 6’10 but bro still stands behind you and like just kinda hides

6. Loves it when you cook for him, he will literally eat it all up like he has never eaten before(👀)

7. anything you give him he keeps like even if it's something simple he cherishes anything you've ever given him

8. He is easy to make blush with simple gestures like rubbing his arm or simply smiling at him, he loves it! He has a pictures of you in his pocket for when he is out at work, and when he can't see you for days at a time he rewatches videos of you two and looks at pictures to calm him down(👀)

9. You and him have playlists of songs that you both jam to while cleaning or on a drive somewhere

10. Loves cuddling.

11. He is like possessive in a quiet way, like if someone is getting to comfortable he starts to hang on to you more and like get as close to you as possible

12. Likes it when you call him big guy, hunny, love… And really really likes it when you call him darlin’ it just silly to him

13. He will buy stuffed animals and he keeps them on your guy’s bed and has named them all

*********************NSFW************************

1. This man is a Thighs man all the way, loves your thighs so much, loves to kiss them, bite them, grab them, fuck them hell, bro wants to die in them

2. He is a switch but more of a bottom, will top tho on certain occasions

3. He is vocal, definitely whines and whimpers and does the deep sighing shit

4. Likes it when you make him cry from overstimulation or from leaving marks on him

5. He really likes it when he can sit against the bed post and you just use him however you want, he wants to be of use to you in every way possible, will also probably kiss your neck while you ride him

6. he does eat the food you cook like it's ambrosia but the real good shit is ***you***, like bro will grip your thighs with the force of God and literally hold you right on his face and just go ham until your legs are to tired to clamp against his head and your begging him to stop, for now.

7. If you ever tell him your to heavy for him he'll just pick you up and throw you over his shoulder and the rest is history… that's when he is feeling particularly dominant

8. When he is the dominant one… it's a whole ass RODEO

9. Bro is strong enough to hold you by the wall and just go absolutely ham in your shit

10. He uses his hands like a GOD

11. He loves to eat you out like there is no tomorrow

12. Fantasizes about you walking in on him pleasuring himself

13. Will literally bend you over in any surface in the house when he is feeling dominant

14. Likes to make out on the couch

15. Has to take the stuffies off the bed before you guys spice it up and turn their eyes away

16. He secretly wants to wake up and find you either riding him or sucking him off

17. He likes bondage a lot surprisingly

18. Edge him like tease him and he also fucks with org denial, make him suffer he will like it

19. Praise him! He LOVES it, one of his most favorite things honestly

Thanks for reading, I might take one of these and turn it into a little blurb or something

[kaminocasey]

Dream A Little Dream of Me Part 2

Summary: Your reality is different than theirs. But hopefully, you can use that to your advantage and help put a stop to the Clone Wars. If catching the eye of a certain captain is also in the mix, then that's also a plus, right?

Pairing: Eventual Rex x F!Reader

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI; Alternate Reality stuff, Angst, Insomnia, Pong Krell, Umbara Arc

WC: 3.2K

A/N: Hi, hello, hey. Sorry it's been a minute since I wrote the part one to this! I'm still incredibly excited about this series. Hope you still are too!

Part One │ Taglist Form

“You look sleepy as hell.” Your co-worker and old college roommate, Annie, smiles at you sympathetically from her desk that sits across from yours.

“Don’t I always?” You chuckle with a half shrug, as you continue logging the files you put back earlier for your bosses. 

You don’t have the most exciting job in the world. You work as a paralegal in your great uncle Robert’s law firm, but it’s really good money. And sure, it could be considered a nepotism hire if you really squint your eyes, but your uncle told you he’d treat you fairly in the hiring process. And he didn’t favor you to any of the other paralegals. At least, not really.

“Yeah, but like… you look especially out of it today.” She offers you a power bar and you shake your head, holding up your own from inside the top drawer.

You nod, drinking your coffee as you click out of excel on your computer. “I am sleepy, though. I had this insane dream last night.” 

Last night played over and over in your head, leaving you with so many questions. The number one being “How?” and what if you weren’t able to go back to that dream again? Why did it feel so real?

“Oooh. A sex dream?” Annie’s sweet smile turns into a smirk and you roll your eyes with a chuckle. “No, Annie. Not a sex dream.” You look at her as you ring your finger around the edge of your mug. 

You kinda wished it had been a sex dream, with the way that Rex had been looking at you. God, you missed him already. That’s not normal, right? How can you miss a fictional character of a show from a dream?

Then, your mind travels to just how real they felt. Like real flesh against your own. Fives’ face… Rex’s hand… Maybe you shouldn’t dwell on it too much. Just accept it for what it was. 

A good dream. Nothing more. 

When you get home from work, you avoid putting on The Clone Wars. It hurts a little to think about them right now. Plus, you’ve got a ton of other things you need to get caught up with. You’ve been putting off laundry for three days, along with vacuuming and dusting your living room. While it’s not an incredibly large space, it’ll still take some time. 

As you gather up the laundry hamper in your room, you can’t help but think about how silly this all feels… Your mind can’t even help but go back to the dream, to Rex’s hands on yours. How warm his skin felt against yours. 

You miss him… 

You miss all of them… 

As you clean, your phone starts to ring. You pull it out of your pocket after dumping a load into the washer, seeing that it's your mom.

“Hi, mom.” You smile. 

“Hi, sweetheart. How was your day?” She asks.

Maybe there was an upside to this whole dream thing. It seems to bring you and your mom a little closer. Although, with her, you’re always waiting for the shoe to drop. Though, maybe this would help. 

“Have you eaten dinner?” She asks.

“I have not. Just started doing some housework, actually.” You reply as you walk to your utility room to grab your duster. 

“Do you want me to come over and cook for you?” She asks.

You’d like to say yes, but you’re really looking forward to at least trying to go to sleep. And since you don’t have work tomorrow, you could sleep extra longer. 

“I would love that, but I’m actually really tired for once. Do you want to get a late lunch tomorrow?” You ask.

“I’d love to!” She seems genuinely happy that you’ve asked her. 

As you go through your house, cleaning a bit, and then make a quick sandwich, you and your mom talk about a lot of things. How your day was, how she’s joined a new book club, how your dad is supposed to be back in town from a long business trip so maybe he’ll join the two of you for lunch tomorrow. It’s just so nice being able to have someone to talk to again. You didn’t exactly have friends lined up at the door. Although, you didn’t exactly try your hardest to make them. Maybe you’ll ask Annie to get drinks over the weekend.

When you finally start to yawn, your mom suggests that you lay down and that she’ll start singing to you again. You definitely don’t put up a fight there. 

Your mom murmurs your name.

“Yeah?” You close your eyes.

“I know I don’t say this a lot, but I love you.” She tells you, softly.

You smile. “I love you too, mom.” 

And then she starts singing.

Stars shining bright above you

Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"

Birds singin' in the sycamore trees

Dream a little dream of me

You think of the men that you saw last night, how kind and compassionate they were with you.

Say "Night-ie night" and kiss me

Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me

While I'm alone and blue as can be

Dream a little dream of me

You think of how you need to help them win the Clone Wars. Maybe you alone can make a difference. Maybe they’ll listen to you.

Stars fading but I linger on, dear

Still craving your kiss

I'm longing to linger 'til dawn, dear

Just saying this

You think of Rex. His vanilla and warm ocean breeze scent. How could a man be so beautiful? How could a smile be so heartstopping? 

Sweet dreams 'til sunbeams find you

Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you

But in your dreams, whatever they be

Dream a little dream of me

You open your eyes. But instead of finding yourself on a gunship, or the barracks, you’re on an examination table. 

This can’t be right… 

In a slight panic, you quickly sit up right. 

“Woah, woah. Easy now.” You hear a kind, male voice to your right as his hands steady you. 

You’d know that voice anywhere. Rex. Instant warmth floods your veins at the realization.

“Re- Captain.” You murmur, looking around, realizing you’re on the Umbarran base. 

“I was beginning to get real worried about ya.” He smiles, patting your hand. 

Electricity shoots up your arm as butterflies settle in your stomach. 

“What happened?” You ask, looking at Kix as he approaches you to check your vitals. 

“Well… As soon as I walked away after our chat, you passed out, right there on the tarmac.” He tells you. “I had Kix transport you here with us.”

So, you’re picking up where you left off. Okay. Good. 

“Which I didn’t think was a good idea.” Kix smirks, knowingly at Rex. 

Rex rolls his eyes at his brother. “You passed out right after talking to me, I felt responsible in a way.”

You can’t help but look up at him in awe, a soft smile on both yours and Rex’s lips. He was worried about you twice now. 

“You’ve been out for quite a while.” Kix tells you.

“Missing all the action.” Rex teases and you let out a breathy laugh.

“Sorry, I must’ve just been exhausted.” You tell them. “What did I miss?” 

Rex gives Kix a look and then Kix excuses himself, leaving just you and Rex. He sits on the edge of the exam table, watching your hands before speaking.

He looks up at you. “You were right… About Krell… How did you know?” 

You shrug, not exactly sure what to tell him. It's not like you can just outright tell him the truth, right?

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” You murmur.

He puts his hand over yours. “Try me.” 

He’s looking at you so softly again, so full of warmth. And respect. With a sigh, you start to tell him everything, but another clone trooper walks in.

“Sir, the General is requesting your presence in the command tower right away.” The man tells him.

Rex nods once and the other trooper walks back out.

“Will you be alright here?” Rex asks you, still holding your hand. 

You nod. “Yeah.” 

Kix walks back in and starts going through some cabinets.

“Alright.” Rex gives your hand one last squeeze before letting go and you instantly miss his warmth. “I’ll try to swing back by to check on you.” You can’t help but grin at the captain. “That’s sweet of you, but not necessary. I’m fine.” 

To show him that you’re fine, you put your feet down on the floor and walk around the table. You’ve gotta try to stop Krell. You think you might just know the men to help you.

“You’re sure?” Rex looks you up and down, double checking to make sure you actually are alright.

“Positive.” You nod.

“Alright. If you need me-” He starts.

“Yeah, Rex. We know where to find you.” Kix rolls his eyes.

Rex gives Kix a quick glance and then smiles at you once more before leaving the medbay. When you turn toward Kix, he’s got his arms crossed.

“What’s up?” You ask, self-consciously.

“Something’s different about you.” Kix quirks an eyebrow. 

Your stomach drops. “Oh?” 

“You’ve got a thing for Rex, don’t you?” He smirks.

You almost let out a breath of relief. “Ha. You’re funny. I’ll be back. I’m gonna find the freshers.”

“Sure you are.” He teases before turning back around to go through the Umbaran’s medical systems.

You quickly walk down to the barracks, where you remember that Fives, Jesse, Hardcase, and Tup might be. But you have to remember that Dogma is supposed to be there too and he’s going to stick up for Krell, because he thinks that’s the right thing. 

When you reach the barracks, you walk in and find Fives, Jesse, Tup, and Hardcase. Just like you expected.

“She lives!” Fives sees you and immediately starts grinning.

“We really thought you were in a coma.” Hardcase jokes. 

“No we didn’t.” Tup gives Hardcase a funny look and then looks back over at you as you sit down on one of the bunks. 

“Glad to see you’re alright.” Jesse nods with a soft smile. “Shouldn’t you be resting though?”

These men are all just as kind and charming as you’d expected they’d be. It really makes your chest clench at the thought of not being able to help them in some way.

“I needed to speak to you guys.” You tell them. 

They all join around, looking at you with curiosity. 

“This is going to sound crazy… but I need you guys to believe me and then spread the word as quickly as you can, okay?” You look around at them.

“Sure, mesh’la. What is it?” Fives sits down on the bunk across from you. 

Well, here it goes…

“Krell isn’t a good Jedi. I’m sure you’ve figured that out by now, right?” You ask him.

Fives chuckles, humorlessly, glancing at his brothers. “Yeah, you could say that.”

“He’s going to continue the assault on the capital. But what you don’t know is that he’s given the 212th orders to fire at you guys, lying to them and telling them that you’re actually the enemy dressed as clones. He’s going to tell you the same thing.” You tell him, with a face as serious as possible, needing them to believe you. “I know you guys want to take the starfighters and-”

“The assault on the capital will continue as planned.” Rex’s reluctant voice is in the doorway of the barracks and everyone looks from you to him and then back at you. 

“See?” You whisper to Fives. 

“Why would he attack his own men?” Fives whispers quickly.

“Because he hates clones and he’s actually evil.” You stand up to look at Rex.

“So, that’s it?” Jesse walks over to Rex. “We just march into those missiles?”

Rex glances at you curiously but doesn’t say anything more. You give the men a quick serious look and then nod at Rex with a smile before walking back out of the barracks, across the tarmac, and toward the medbay. 

And then you remember Hardcase and him not making it back. So you start jogging back to the barracks, trying to think of a way to keep him alive. 

“Forget something?” Rex asks, walking toward you.

“I just wanted to tell Hardcase something, is all.” You smile. 

“Oh…” Rex murmurs, his expression confused. “I see.” 

And then you realize he thinks that you mean something entirely different. 

“Oh, Rex. No. Not like that.” You laugh.

He smiles softly. “Oh, good.”

“Good indeed.” You glance at the barracks.

“Fives told me what you told them. About Krell… and the clones.” Rex murmurs, glancing around subtly to make sure no one is listening.

“Oh?” You bite your lip, nervously.

“I… think it’s odd. But something is telling me to believe you. So we’ll march on, helmets off, blasters down, so they see it’s us. Alright?” He offers.

You feel a lot better and let out a breath of relief. 

“Earlier, you said ‘I’m someone you trust right?’ and that keeps replaying in my mind. You are someone I trust. Someone I even… admire.” He tells you, stepping a little closer. 

Your heart leaps into your throat and you try so hard to keep your cool. If this is truly a dream… Please don’t wake up right now. 

“I admire you too, Rex.” You smile up at him.

“Is there anything else you need to tell me?” He asks.

“Krell is only pretending to be in the Jedi Order. He still has them fooled… and it’ll be hard to take him down. But, if you get the 212th to tell Kenobi that he tried to put clones against clones-” You start.

All of a sudden, as if on time, there’s a huge blast taking out the hangar bay. 

“Oh shit. Fives!” You run back toward the hangar, forgetting that was supposed to happen.

You really need to focus.

Except Rex pulls you back against the building when he sees Krell heading that way, pushing you up against the building and accidentally pressing his body to yours so that he blocks you from view. Or at least, you think it’s an accident… but you hope otherwise.

You look up at him, parted lips, heat traveling throughout your entire body. He gives a shy half smile and your heart screams “KISS HIM!” but your mind is telling you, you need to find Hardcase.

“Sorry, don’t want you on Krell’s radar.” Rex apologizes, but doesn’t let you go.

You hear Krell start shouting at Hardcase and Fives, breaking you two apart. 

“I better go help them.” Rex pulls away, reluctantly.

“Wait! Tell Hardcase to take the ray shield down in front of the reactors, and if that doesn’t work, try tricking the battle droid into taking the missile toward the reactor. Okay? He’ll know what that means when the time is right.” You squeeze Rex’s hand.

“Alright. But you’re telling me how you know all this, later, right?” He glances down at your lips. 

“I promise.” You reach up and kiss him on the cheek. “Now go.” 

He smirks as he walks away, to go help Hardcase and Fives. You feel like you can breathe a little bit better now. Hopefully, the rest of your plan goes off without a hitch.

And then it kicks in. You just kissed Captain Rex on the cheek... and he liked it! How long had you been wanting to do that? 

You wait a few moments and then see Krell angrily storming off. Rex walks the opposite direction, across the tarmac and you follow him. 

“Perimeter sweep?” You ask, softly, falling into step beside him. 

“I won’t even ask how you knew that.” He chuckles. “But yes.”

“Did you tell Hardcase what I needed to tell him?” You ask, fidgeting with your hands, nervously.

“No, I didn’t get the chance to, I’m sorry.” Rex tells you.

That terrible feeling pools into your stomach and you feel the intense weight of a couple million clones’ lives on your shoulders. 

“Where is he? I need to find him.” You start looking around. 

“Oh, there you are!” Kix calls over to you. 

You don’t have time to deal with Kix though, you have to find Hardcase. You can’t let him sacrifice his life like he did in the show. All they need to do is get the ray shield down. 

“Sorry, I’ve gotta find him.” You start to walk away but Rex stops you.

“Listen, I will find him after my perimeter scan, alright?” He tries to get you to look at him.

“Rex, you don’t understand. They’re leaving soon. If you don’t tell him now, he’s going to die.” You rush out in a panic, barely making sense.

“What?” Rex’s brows furrow. “I-I don’t understand.”

“What’s going on?” Kix approaches, looking at the scene before him.

You probably look crazy with tears in your eyes and yelling about Hardcase. 

“I’ll tell him, okay? I’ll find him-” Rex starts but as he sees three figures coming toward the three of you, he turns you around so you can see them for yourself. “They’re right there. It’s gonna be okay.”

You lean against the 501st captain, letting out a breath of relief for the tenth time tonight. If you weren’t so stressed, you’d definitely enjoy the way he’s holding you upright, making sure you don’t go anywhere. It’s clear he cares about you. 

“Kix, why don’t you take her to get something to eat.” Rex guides you into the hands of Kix but you can’t take your eyes off of the captain and he doesn’t take his eyes off of you. “It’ll be okay, I promise.”

You nod, trusting him, letting Kix lead you back to the medbay to find something to eat, even though you’re not hungry. This is a lot for one person. If you could just get ahold of Mace Windu or Master Yoda somehow… 

“Kix?” You ask, glancing at the command tower. 

“Hm?” He replies. 

It’s too bad that The Bad Batch hasn’t been introduced at this point yet. You could really use Tech’s skill at locating the jamming device that Krell has no doubt planted. 

“Who’s the most technologically inclined in the 501st?” You ask.

He stops to give you a strange look. “See, you’re being weird for real this time. Why are you asking that?” 

“Because… I need to know what sort of jamming device the “enemy” would use to cut off our contact with the 212th.” You shrug. “Who’s the most technologically inclined guy in the 501st?” 

He stares at you hard for a minute. This look says “I know you don’t belong here”, and you realize you’ve fucked up.

Then, he narrows his eyes at you. “You are.”

Well, Shit…

TAGLIST: @twistedstitcher27 @misogirl828 @rebel-finn @rexandechosandwich @madameminor @dumfanting @rain-on-kamino @corona-one @tecker @ladykatakuri @brynhildrmimi @the-sith-in-the-sky-with-diamond @zoeykallus @maulslittlemeowmeow @littlemousedroid @arctrooper69 @rexxdjarin @padawancat97 @hated-by-me @sleepingsun501 @quigonswife8 @idlenesses @redheadgirl @themcuwriter @ashotofspotchka @sunshinesdaydream @crosshairsimp73 @ariadnes-red-thread @rosmariner @heyitsaloy @starstofillmydream @high-ct5555 @echos-girlfriend @sleepywych @nekotaetae @justanothersadperson93 @aconstructofamind @book-of-baba-fett @chopper-base @palliateclaw @501st-rexster @dead-poolz @nahoney22 @where-is-my-mind-tho @jediknightjana @erishimoon @witching3 @queen-of-many-fandoms @wizardofrozz  @burningfieldof-clover

[haodore]

dads suck ; jm

𓂃 ⋆ 𓈒 masterlist

⌁ jj maybank x reader

⌁ hiding bruises and keeping secrets is something jj knows all too well, and he wants nothing but to bring you comfort. // angst, hurt/comfort, platonic.

⌁ 2.1k words

! : gender neutral r (they/them), overly strict parent, abuse, bruises, sad jj, jj and r #bonding el oh el, swearing, not set in any specific season/time, not really edited.

✐ in anticipation for outer banks 3, i did this really quick (it’s also my very first obx fic!!). the downside: i don’t remember a lot of the small details of this show and i’m not currently able to watch it yet, so if anything seems off, that’s probably why. also, hopefully i got jj’s characterization right??

Walking into your own home wasn't supposed to strike fear into your heart like a spreading disease, nor was it supposed to make your hands shake beyond your control, eyes darting around fearfully. It was supposed to be your safe place—your sanctuary.

The place where you were supposed to feel loved and cared for, brought you heartbreak and hurt. Any wrong move could lead to being hit or yelled at, and you hated it.

You didn't tell anyone about it, however. Instead using your smiles and laughter as a shield to keep everyone from being suspicious, fearing that maybe your Dad wasn't lying when he said if anyone hears about this, I'll make you regret it. Understand that?

You felt that same fear as you entered your house, stepping into the foyer. You had just gotten back from school, and the day had been rather uneventful as usual until something went wrong. You were a few minutes late to your third period class because your second period teacher asked you to help carry some textbooks to another classroom. It took longer than expected, however.

In the end, you weren’t even that late, you you shouldn’t have been surprised when your Dad was called about your brief absence to the class.

You wish you could say that it wouldn’t of been that big a deal, but you already know that your night was about to get a whole lot worse than the usual.

You froze in your steps, hearing your name being called from the kitchen. You couldn’t keep him waiting too long though, so your dragged yourself to the kitchen, eyes directed to the floor.

“Hi, Dad.”

Your Dad was doing the dishes, which was something that shocked you to your core. You felt rooted in place, watching as he placed a clean dinner plate onto the drying rack. It was such a simple, ordinary thing to most, but he always insisted that this was your job, along with many other chores. He’d pick out every little thing about it that you were doing wrong—even if you were doing nothing wrong at all—and he’d make you pay for it.

“Hi, sweetheart.” The nickname sent shivers down your spine. This doesn’t feel right. “How was school?”

You stayed standing where you were, shifting in place only slightly. “It was good.” You nodded. Your hands were behind your back, and you gripped them together tightly, praying that they would stop shaking.

“Really?”

You felt the pressure of the situation press down on your shoulders, threatening and hoping for your bones to crack under the intensity of it all. You nodded at him, with a light hum, not wanting your voice to waver if you spoke.

“Nothing too interesting happen today?”

You faintly shook your head.

“Well, maybe tomorrow might be more eventful, hmm?” He smiled, but it almost felt sinister. You knew it meant nothing good.

Your Dad continued to do the dishes, confusion slowly creeping up your spine. You didn’t understand.

When he reached over to put a clean cup on the rack, his hand was noticeably too far from the rack, but he let the glass fall from his fingertips anyway. You jumped slightly as the glass hit the ground, the clear shimmering glass shattering into pieces as it hit the ground. Your Dad tsked, sighing as he observed the mess he’d made with an unsettling glint in his eyes.

“Well,” he said, “looks like you’re gonna have to clean this up.”

You didn’t realize you’d frozen in place until he repeated himself louder. Like instinct, you started picking up the pieces of glass. He’d started telling you how this was all you fault that the cup broke, even though you both knew it couldn’t possibly be your fault.

“This is what you get for that call I got earlier today.”

You faltered for a moment, but kept picking up the glass.

“Are you ignoring me now?!”

You immediately shook your head, but he was having none of it. He grabbed your wrist, pulling you up to your feet. Your heart was in your throat as he pushed you against the counter with an angry glint in his eyes.

"After everything I've done for you, and you can't even manage to get to class on time?! You'll ruin my reputation!" He yelled at you. He raised a hand, slapping you across the face. "Ungrateful.” He seethed. He raised a hand to hit you again, and you tried to get away, but he was too strong, holding you in place. He hit you again. "Worthless." He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you up and throwing you onto the glass covered ground. You cried lout as you hit the floor, feeling a small piece of glass pierce your cheek where your head hit the ground.

This wasn't how it usually went. He was being worse than usual. Usually, he'd hit you in places it couldn't be seen, like your ribs. It was why you'd stick to one piece swim suits. He knew where he could hurt you without people noticing. You don't know why it's different this time—whether it was a bad day at work or lack of sleep—but he didn't seem to care about where he hurt you or who would see.

He looked down on you, clearly liking how much power he had over you. He then huffed, giving you a harsh kick to the ribs. You felt the air escape from your lungs as you wheezed out at the pain, and he walked off with a scoff.

You don’t know how long you stayed there on the floor, surrounded by a halo of broken glass, your ribs and face slowly turning red and purple from the hits. You stayed long enough that the house had gone completely silent—your Dad had left.

So, you shakily pushed yourself up, gripping onto the counter for balance. It took you what felt like an unbearable amount of time to get to the front door and out the house, and you couldn’t even describe how long the walk to the château felt. With how hard your head hit the floor, you were surprised you hadn’t collapsed yet.

You dropped yourself onto the bench on the porch of the château, not having the energy to go any further.

You heard a door open, and the sound of someone lightly cursing, then your name being called. Messy blonde hair came into your view, and blue sad eyes. He said your name again.

You groaned.

“What happened? Oh, my God, you— are you— fuck.” JJ picked you up, bringing you inside. He put you on the couch gently, rushing out of the room. You almost felt bad, really. You didn’t want to put all of this pressure on him, but you didn’t know where else to go.

You weren’t as close to the pogues as everyone else in the group was, because you were a bit newer to the group. You hung out with them all the time, but you didn’t feel like you were attached at the hip quite yet.

JJ returned only a few moments later with a first aid kit. You trusted him to do a good job, because you knew he’s handled things like this before. No one really told you about JJ’s home life, but it was no secret on the island of what kind of person Luke Maybank was. They saw the state he was in, and they’d see JJ walk around with bruises, and then people’d start talking. It was easy to figure out that JJ Maybank had a hard life.

You didn’t realize he’d started tending to your wounds until you felt a sharp pain in your cheek, and JJ pulled away the piece of glass. He apologized, clearly stressed and upset, and you felt guilty again.

“What happened?” His voice caught in his throat a little when he spoke. Just because you weren’t as close with him as the rest of them were with him doesn’t mean he didn’t care. You were best friends, and the lack of having years of memories didn’t change that. You had your entire life ahead of you to make some.

You found yourself unable to speak even though you wanted to, worrying again about your Dad somehow finding out. It pained you to admit the amount of control he had over you.

But you wanted to be helped. It was a desperate, aching feeling that you carried with you in every step. Every time you spoke, the words almost fell off your tongue but then you’d falter, saying something else with a smile that you weren’t so sure was real anymore. If there was anyone to speak to, and if there was any time to do it, it was to say it to JJ right now.

“It was…” you felt like the walls were caving in on you as you had a moment where you thought he wouldn’t even believe you. There were hardly any signs of anything happening in your home before, and your Dad always looked so polite and put together.

When JJ saw your hesitance, the words dying in your mouth, he felt his worry spike. He hoped his assumption was wrong.

“My, uhm…” you held back a cry from what had happened and from the pain of JJ cleaning your wounds, “my Dad.”

The secret was finally out and into the world, and you didn’t know how to feel. You were relieved, but for some reason you couldn’t get your hands to stop shaking.

“Fuck, I—“ JJ’s heart was in his throat as he continued to clean your wounds as gently as possible. He felt like a lit candle slowly slowly dying down at your revelation. You, who was always smiling and laughing; cracking jokes with the pogues like you’d known them for years; and giving out kindness like your life depended on it… you were more like JJ than he’d initially thought.

JJ didn’t know what to say, for a moment or two. He continued to aid you, chewing on his lower lip in thought. He’d always dealt with his pain with jokes, which he wasn’t sure if it was appropriate or not. Maybe you could use a laugh right now though.

“Dad’s suck, huh?”

In your haze of tears and hurt, a small and weak laugh bubbled from your chest. “Yeah, they do.”

With some of the tension lifted off your shoulders, the next short silence that followed wasn’t so bad, more so welcomed with the knowledge that JJ believed you, and he cared about you. He didn’t outright say it, but you knew it to be true.

When he zipped up the first aid kit, placing it on the table, he then turned to you. “This uh… this been going on long?” You knew serious conversations weren’t exactly his strong suit.

You only nodded in reply.

“You can tell us anything, you know? We’re pogues, man. Whether you like it or not we’re not leaving you behind. All right?”

You nodded again, this time letting a tear slip. You put your head down, wiping it away. JJ frowned when you muttered out an apology.

“Why are you sorry?”

“For being weak.”

JJ was getting déjà vu, watching the way you cried and apologized for it. He knew the feeling of feeling weak all too well. “Crying doesn’t make you any weaker, y’know.”

Your head snapped up as you were about to protest.

“It doesn’t.” He insisted, leaning forward to show how much he meant it. “If that’s something that your dad told you, than he’s wrong. He doesn’t know shit.” JJ felt his heart cracking at the sight of more tears pooling in your waterline. “The fact that you’ve put up with this so long on your own shows how strong you are, y’know that?… you don’t have to do it on your own anymore.”

Before you knew it his arms were wrapped around you, putting you close. You cried harder at the comfort, feeling warmth blossom on your chest.

Eventually you two pulled away, and he settled for resting a hand on your shoulder.

“My head hurts.” You said, holding a hand up to your temple while blinking tiredly.

“Did you hit it off something?”

You nodded. “The floor.”

JJ suppressed his anger, instead saying, “All right, you’ll have to rest later, in case you have a concussion.” The idea of not being able to close your eyes and sleep made you internally groan, but you knew he was right.

You were grateful that JJ was the one here. Even though you’d have to face your Dad again later, right now you were content with spending the night at the château with JJ, laughing a little brighter than before.

@ sakufilms

[sirwadewilsonfromimgur]

Scene/ vignette 11

Domesticated Animals part 1

The Holiday season" November/December . New York. Earth-10005

11/27/24 (American dating system)

Deadpool and Wolverine had been living comfortably for most of the month now, two of the most violent, dangerous and feard people to ever walk the earth hold hands as they come back from the bodega getting groceries for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday. They we're both proudly Canadian, but when in New York do as the New Yorkers do. They were planning on having most of the usual people over for dinner tomorrow and were prepping now so that Thanksgiving wasn't them running around with half cooked food and a late dinner because nothing worked out.

Logan has been adapting to Wade's...shall we say.. "physical touch forward" form of affection. Since they had made it official all bets were off for Wade. But Logan wasn't always in the mood to be touched.

look bub, I love you... you know I do. But if grab my ass again while I'm trying to prep this turkey for tomorrow I'm gonna cut your fucking hand off. Wade tried... he really did but his gremlin brain demanded that he sexually harass his Wolverine. He siddled up to Logan who was Spatchcocking a 18 lb turkey so he could brine it. "I'm warning you bub" what i'm not doing nothing, im just standing here... inches from you... Wade thought he'd be clever, I won't grab his ass... folks he grabbed Logan crotch. *Snikt* "DAMN IT WADE!" it wasn't your ass! before he could talk again a familiar set of foot long Adamantium blades went through his wind pipe and out the back of his neck. Logan pulled him in close. "Now, I warned you bub, you know good and well I'm busy and instead of bothering me you could be baking the pies or some other helpful thing. But instead your standing here bleeding on my freshly moped floor, because you grabbed my dick after aske you to stop. He pulled him in closer to whisper in hopes that Althea wouldn't hear. Look... if you're good and help me out maybe I'll let you play with it later. He winked. A smile formed on Wade's face. Logan smiled back kissed him on the cheek "I love you" then violently ripped his claws back out of Wade's neck "now don't get your blood all over the turkey or you really will be regenerating a whole new arm for the rest of the afternoon." Wade made wet rasping sound in response, grabbed some paper towels and cleaned the blood off the floor. The house got to enjoy a few minutes of silence as the catastrophic damage to his larynx healed while Wade started making a pumpkin pie.

Logan could be equally Violent and Tender sometimes in an order of magnitude, he regularly showed Wade the tenderness that he clearly craved. No longer did they have sides of the bed. Logan held wade in his arms every night since that day in Central Park. It surprised him when it actually resulted in better sleep for the both of them. Two deeply traumatized men held on to each other, Logan could sware he felt a literal bond tighten between them some nights.

The dreams of Distant wars, murders, and injustices had slowly stopped. It'd been a week since he'd shot straight up out of bed in a cold sweat gasping claws fully extended. The worst part was the panic that set in after he realized he was only in bed. Did he stab Wade or worse, the little dog that also shared the bed usually cuddled up against his or Wade's chest. Lifting the shredded blankets hed make sure they were both ok. Thankfully not once had Marry Puppens gotten so much as a nick on her. He didn't know how he'd deal with it if she had, she'd probably be hurt and confused. "Why'd my daddy hurt me for no reason." The thought devastated him. She like everyone in that bed that night would have quickly healed. But the guilt would have plagued Logan. Less fortunately he couldn't say the same for Wade, he hadn't cut him up until recently. Wade however never took it personally, more annoyed about being woke up than anything else.

As a rule he tried not to stab Wade. At least not when he made a terrible joke, he'd been politely ask not to do that. However Wade Winston Wilson frequently had a policy of "negative attention is still attention" and would occasionally delight in pushing his Wolverines button. Logan set boundaries. Gave warnings but at some point Snikt, blades fly, and again sometimes he was certain this was Wade's end game. He'd have his attention usually start behaving after that and the day would move on. It was a dynamic unlike any other relationship in his long walk of life. He certainly was never board.

Later that evening all the prep work they could do was done pies were baked, turkey was Brining, vegetable trays had been cut, bread had been baked and side dishes were pre-prepared just needed warmed in the oven. Althea had even made cranberry relish. All of it as non GMO as possible and as little corn syrup as possible at Wade's insisting. They all had a light dinner Ceasar Salad, and a bottle of riesling knowing tomorrow would be an exercise in classic American gluttony.

In bed that night, Wade had Logan cuddled against him. Wade was the big spoon for a change. Cuddling his beefy boy he whispered "I'm pretty sure I was good the rest of the day today, and I intend to collect on our bargain old man" a snake like hand caressed his pecs, slowly worked it's way down in between the line that demarcated the middle of his abs and over his navel. Logan was feeling a little frisky and mischievous, so he decided he'd let this play out. The hand had tucked it's self under the waistband of his underwear. When it made it to it's goal Logan let out a pleasured growl... then suddenly an exasperated voice came from across the room. "Damn it, boys! I'm not even asleep yet. Can you not! I can absolutely hear the both of you over there... please, I've asked you. I know y'all got needs, but not while I'm in the house, in the same room." Sorry Al, they both called out in unison. It might be time for a bigger place, Wade grumbled. Let's just go to sleep. Logan responded... Wade, babe... yeah, honeybadger. Not that, I... don't *he gulped and let out a small moan* like what you're doing down there. *he shuddered a little* But Al did ask us to stop. Damn it! Fine. He pulled his hand out of Logans underpants and huffed

I'm going to grab the tits though. Wade firmly and defiantly grabbed Logans righ pectoral and pulled him into a closer cuddle. That's fine. Logan sighed he wasn't exactly happy to be blue balled either but thems the breaks. Wade... yes dear, he said in a still slightly salty tone... I love you. I love you too. Goodnight

Link to scene 12

[darlingpassion]

Okay I need to go to sleep because i close at work tomorrow and I already stayed up too late cuz I had a need the clean the whole house, but I had to ask this!!

I need to know- how would Terry respond if any one of the Toon Patrol tried to Come Onto Him? XD 😏 Would he say yes to any of them? Would he get the hell outta there? I must know XD

Right, now that I've thrown a spanner into the works, goodnight! XD 💤💤💤

Ohhhhh my god I did not expect this kinda ask today. I love it XD

My poor Terry. First Rena, now these assholes. Will he ever catch a break? (Probably not)

Alright! Let's go through weasel by weasel.

Smartass

Short answer: "I thought he was a kid??"

Long answer: No, Terry doesn't think he's a literal kid XD but he did think Smartass looked pretty young to be in a bar setting (it's the height and the hat shielding the face. Shhh don't tell Smarty-). The angry weasel ain't his type, so Terry would brush him off after getting over the realization that this man is in his mid 30's.

Also, this is absolutely Terry reacting to Smartass in the bar if he was mean like Shiny XD

Greasy

Short answer: "... Shiny, come get your man before he makes'a fool 'a himself!"

Long answer: Hmmm... It's iffy with Terry. Like, he can see why Shiny thinks he's handsome physically, he can appreciate what Greasy offers in looks. But unfortunately, the green bastard ain't got game XD and Terry can see that, and is not up for Greasy's loony pervert shenanigans 😅 so yeah, Shiny can keep him. Greasy'll be house trained under her better than with him 😅

Wheezy

Short answer: *side eyes Wheezy* "..." *grins in 'I'm game if you are'*

Long answer: Wheezy is where it's at with Terry. For starters, he and the weasel are part of the same old, kinda gross group. Wheezy is far worse than Terry with smoking, but they're both still tired old men who are buddies. And it also helps that they both speak practically the same lamguage; no words needed, only vibes. They're both slow, a little lazy, and Terry knows that Wheezy won't expect their fucking around to go anywhere past a friend's with benefits sort of thing... Also it doesn't hurt that Wheezy is pretty good looking whether or not he showered that day-

Psycho

Short answer: "Wheezy for fucks sake, get your fuckin' dog outta here!"

Long answer: I can't imagine Psycho flirting with Terry, but for comedy's and arguments sake, let's say he wants that old man rat XD and Psycho when he flirts... Doesn't look like flirting 😅 Terry can tell what his intentions are, he's been around long enough to recognize how someone is trying to flirt even if they don't have the best game But he absolutely is not going to bring that rabid animal in bed. He prefers his crotch unscarred, thank you very much XD that rabbit girl can take this one. She seems to have a knack for the crazy men.

Stupid

Short answer: "... Shit, ok. I can see it-"

Long answer: Look, it's a giant, fat, goofy and cuddly weasel!!! Who can resist that???? Granted, Stu's company isn't as relaxing as Wheezy's is (Terry's gotta verbally engage with the dummy. Answer so many questions. Terry is paitent, but not a talker XD), but if Stupid showed interest, Terry would definitely consider it. And if Stu is shaking up those fruity drinks you said he makes, well shit how can any sensible man resist that?

Tldr; Terry would be down to fuck Wheezy and Stupid, maybe Greasy... Smartass ain't his type, and Psycho is too much for him XDD

Thanks for sending this ask in! Ohhh I gotta send you a similar ask now, hang on-

[alanshee-keeper-of-realms]

Which Disney movies do you like most?

Zootopia is one of my all-time favorites, the way the fur is animated, the way they updated everything it looks so clean and polished and the story was absolutely important for the times and there is so much opportunity to expand this world.

Elemental covered this later on in Pixar's side Elemental covered the personal side while Zootopia showed the whole societal effects of racism and judgment especially within a police force which back in 2016 was a huge debate as George Floyd had just happened and it still is to this day with the Black Lives Matter Movement and Free Palestine

Another one that completely changed my life was Meet the Robinsons, the quote that ran through the movie, Keep Moving Forward, that's actually my motto,

“Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things… and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”- Walter Elias Disney

It is such a poignant quote that everybody forgets,especially in a world where we can easily stagnate and stay in one place thinking the same idea over and over. It developed into my belief

Keep moving forward for tomorrow is going to be a better day. Tomorrow is going to be better, and I have lived by those words since I was 8 and saw this film,

This film also showed me what a family really should be, that despite your quirks and how weird you may be they don't flinch they don't get angry

yeah your parent may get annoyed if you time travel when you shouldn't, but you know there's a logical reason behind that haha

I didn't have the best family growing up I have an amazing mother and father now but back then I didn't know what a healthy family looked like until Meet the Robinsons showed me which is why it's so dear to my heart nowadays.

Brother Bear is another one that I absolutely loved as a kid and especially as an adult from the visuals to the story

Brother Bear is another one like Zootopia that has a poignant message for everyone in 2024 look through another's eyes before you judge them and do something that is irreversible that you may regret especially if that person has done something to you and you don't know the full story.

Walk in another's shoes before you scorn them, even though it may be the most exhausting Journey you've been on, you still come out of it, understanding a little bit more about that person

And the visuals of this film are still some of the highlights of Disney the Transformation scene between the music provided by the Bulgarian women's choir and the absolutely stunning animation from Disney come together in a spectacular Feast for the viewer it's a scene I watch repeatedly.

Treasure Planet is near and dear to me as someone who grew up with a single mother I know Jim's mother's frustration and just trying to make it I always felt heartbreak for her when she lost everything,

I saw my own mother in her when she had to let her baby go to go on this journey hoping that it may be what he needs to grow.

And Jim's song I'm still here I was raised without my father my biological father he's a sweet man but unfortunately my stepmother it's a classic Cinderella tale she runs the house and treats us his biological kids like shit,

And so I used to listen to I'm still here on repeat because I related to that, especially as my stepdad came into my life my mom found her happiness finally and I didn't know exactly how to react

all the men in my life had been bad and here was this man reaching out with a gentle kind hand and I didn't know whether to bite at him or allow him to get close for fear of being hurt again.

This movie weirdly mostly helped me through a lot, understanding that it's okay to heal and move on, that there was nothing you could do, just be grateful for the parent or parents you do have.

Shout out to Onwards for having a similar effect with me. Especially at the end, I cried with the stepdad because all I could picture was my own stepdad, who is just as big a goof as the police chief is.

Atlantis the Lost Empire is another one I just like watching because it's funny and it's one of my favorite films visually and story wise. It was so unique and out of the box that this is one of the rare films I really do hope they take to live action, especially my most favorite scene out of every single Disney catalog which is The Crystal Chamber Scene

That scene still gives me goosebumps that moment where Kida walks on the water and says Matem fun fact I can actually say her full name

The way Milo's head slightly nods when she says what she says you think as a kid he really didn't catch it but as an adult you catch that moment and you realize he did he just lied to Rourke

The lighting, the animation and the music oh the music is powerful It's haunting it's ethereal this to me is Disney at its Peak right then in there in that moment

The jokes of this film are top notch and again the animation is just so unique and stunning

[kleoyeager78]

10 things I hate about you | 13

Trigger warning: this chapter contains very dark content such as abuse, rape, suicide attempt, drug use/ being addicted to drugs and mentions of being suicidal. None of this is in graphic detail but still I know it can be triggering so read at your own risk!

The week had flown by fairly quickly and it was now Thursday.

It's been stressful in my house ever since I came back from Annie's. My dad yelled at me for not coming home claiming he was worried which couldn't be far from the truth, my step mom had come back from her girls trip with her friends and wouldn't stop bitching at me to do every little thing, Violet had been out with her friends so I had to do all the chores by myself, not like she helped anyways, and Angie still wasn't talking to me and actually seemed to be mad at me.

Over the last couple of days she would send me dirty looks, make messes knowing my step mom would make me clean them and I also heard her talking shit about me on the phone with her friends. I was truly hurt. I tried to talk to her but she would just walk away.

Nevertheless I couldn't just spend all my time worrying about my home life, I had shit to do. I had to take my mom to rehab Friday morning, I had to work with Eren on our project Friday and I also had plans to hang out with Furlan, he texted me about some party he wanted to go to and I said yes. 

I had a lot on my plate so hanging out with Furlan wasn't a bad idea at all.

It was about nine pm and I decided it was time to go to bed so I had energy for tomorrow. I knew I would need it dealing with my mom and Eren.

-

I got up bright and early, got ready then headed to my mom's apartment. My mom and dad lived very close so I decided to walk.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. I hadn't seen my mom in a very long time. The last time I saw her was when I gave her keys to her car back when she got out of rehab the last time. And I literally just handed her keys to her and left without saying anything.

The only reason I'm even doing this is because she told me she wanted to get help again.

I knocked on her door and it took her a while to answer. But when she did she was in nothing but a robe.

"Hi, just give me one second," she said, sending me a big smile and heading back to her room.  

I sat on her couch awkwardly and just waited for her to get done.

She got done and came into the living room. "How do I look?" She asked me.

She was just dressed in plain clothing, no make up on anything, "good considering this is rehab"

"Great, let's go!" She said handing me the car keys.

"Alright" I got up and headed to the door.

"Y/n actually do you have a minute?" My mom stopped me.

"No, I don't" I said in a very uninterested tone.

"Please" she grabbed my arm which i pulled away. "It'll be quick I just need a moment with you"

"Okay." I said giving in.

She went back to sit on the couch and I followed her.

"I uh. I just wanted to say I'm uh-" I could tell she was finding it hard to form a sentence and I really didn't have time for this.

"You're what? Can you get it out already?"

"You're right." She took a breath. "I wanted to say I'm sorry about our last encounter." She got too embarrassed to look at me so her eyes were facing the floor.

"Okay" I said getting off the couch getting ready to just walk away but she grabbed me.

"I mean it, I truly am sorry for the things I said."

"I said okay didn't I? What do you want from me? You want me to say I forgive you? Because I don't."

"No I just-"

"Save it, I don't need your excuses in my life."

"Y/n-"

"Let's just go ma"

My mom just stopped trying and got in the car. There was an awkward silence the whole way there.

"Were here" I said.

My mom unbuckled her seatbelt and I thought she was about to get out of the car but instead she reached over and hugged me.

I was shocked and didn't hug her back but tears began to form in my eyes as I heard her sniffling. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.

"M-" my voice cracked. "Mom"

"I'm sorry y/n I really am. I'm sorry for all the nasty things I said to you. I'm sorry that I wasn't much of a good mom and I'm sorry that I'm still not much of a good one"

I didn't know what to say. I was honestly shocked and kinda just frozen in place. My mom didn't let go of me and to be honest I really wanted her to. I just wanted the morning to be over already, I already had a stressful day and I didn't need to add more to it.

I pulled away from her and she noticed I was uncomfortable so she pulled away too.

"Mom I want to accept your apology but you've done nothing to show me you mean them. There's been countless times where you've failed me and I don't understand how you expect me to move past that."

"I have y/n I have shown you I mean them." My mom looked at me with teary eyes and grabbed my hand.

I snatched my hand away, "Really? What have you done to show me?" I was getting angry and you could hear it in my tone.

"I'm getting better for you baby" she said rubbing my thigh which I also had to move away from her.

"Do you know how many times you've said that to me and look where we are?" I said pointing at the rehab building.

"I know but it takes time"

"Oh I know that but I didn't think you needed a whole seventeen years mom"

She put her head down in shame and I just scoffed. It's just like her to play the victim in my life that she and my father destroyed. "So what else have you done to show me you mean your apologies? I really want to know mom, what have you done?"

"Well I left Nick. I kicked him out and cut all contact." She said with a gleam of hope in her eyes that I would give her some type of praise or reward for doing the bare minimum.

But I just laughed. "Oh wow mom you cut off one of my abusers and then left me with the other one for my whole entire life." I had to stop myself from laughing because I was cracking up inside. "You are such a good mom" I said sarcastically, sending her a smile.

She had her head down with a look of shame. I could tell she was extremely hurt but I didn't have it in me to stop. "Say mom what did you do when I told you what dad did to me?"

She sat there looking at me with sad eyes, "I-" I cut her off before she could start.

"No, actually I'll tell you. You hung up the phone and the next day I went to your apartment and it was littered with drugs and you were passed out. And do you know what else is crazy about that? You not only traumatized me for life that day but that was also the day you came back home from rehab." I sighed. "And you don't even have a good reason for doing this. Do you not know how guilty I felt that day? I was waiting in the emergency room crying because I was the reason you were there in the first place." I could feel my eyes getting watery.

"I was nothing but a little girl. I didn't deserve that mom and you know that."

My mom began to break down worse and I started to feel bad. "I'm so sorry y/n I remember that day too and I feel like absolute shit for doing that to you. You deserve so much better than me." She said, At this point she was violently shaking and crying. It looked like she was about to throw up so I didn't say anything else and just let the conversation calm down.

After a few minutes of silence I decided to ask my final question. "Can I ask you something?" I looked over to her and she looked at me with puffy eyes but shook her head letting me know I could. "Why did you do that? Why did you overdose that day I told you about what happened to me?" I said in a calm voice to let her know I was no longer angry, just curious.

"it um-" she coughed a little to clear her throat. "It just reminded me of bad times and I needed something to take my mind off of it" she said staring out of the window not wanting to look me in the eyes.

"What? Mom, were you-" she cut me off.

"Yes," she sighed. "I don't talk about my past much, but when I was young, I lived with my grandmother and grandfather. My mom cheated on her husband and ended up getting pregnant with me. The only way she could save her relationship was to leave me behind with them. And my dad already had another family before I was even born, and he wasn't going to ruin that for me either." Midway through her explanation, she started breaking down. "I'm sorry, it's just that..."

I cut her off because I noticed it was getting hard for her to speak. "It's okay, Mom. You don't have to explain if you're not comfortable."

"No, it's fine. It's just that I haven't thought about it in a while, so it's a bit difficult to speak on." She took a deep breath and then continued speaking. "My grandpa died when I was twelve, and two years after that, my grandma died. My mom finally decided to come and take me in so I could stay with her, her husband, and their two daughters. Both of them were younger than me and basically treated me like their mother because my mom was almost never around." My mom chuckled, looking out of the car window.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"It's just that after all those years living with my grandparents, I thought I was missing out on having a mother, but in reality, she wasn't even there for the kids she was with," she sighed. "Going back to the story, I ended up having to take care of them because my mom was never around, and their dad was always at work. My mother and her husband were also alcoholics, so when they were home, I would try to keep the kids away from them as much as possible because they would always be drunk."

"During the entire time I stayed there, my mom would physically hurt me. She would throw empty glass bottles at me, plates, and anything else within reach. She would tell me I was the reason she suffered and that she never wanted me. One day, my stepdad walked in on this and rushed to comfort me. It was the first time I felt like I had someone to lean on for support. After that, he started paying more attention to me. He would buy me things, tell me he was there for me if I needed him, and even defend me against my mom. I started to trust him with everything. He was like my best friend in a way."

"But one day, he came home drunk again, and I was yelling at him because he had promised to quit. He smiled and kissed me. I tried to push him away, but it was no use. That day, he made me feel absolutely disgusting. After he was done, he passed out on the couch, and although I didn't want to be near him, I had to zip his pants back up because I didn't want the kids to see anything."

"That night, I told my mom about what had happened, and the only thing that came out of her mouth were insults towards me. She told me I had seduced him and that I had stolen her husband from her. She left for two days, leaving me alone with him. He tried to talk to me like nothing had happened, but I couldn't pretend. I started crying every time. The girls I cared for would come to check on me every day. They would ask if I was alright, but I couldn't tell them anything."

"I remember he came to my room and asked me what he had done wrong, and I finally told him. He said he was sorry and didn't remember, but he'd never do it again. I forgave him, but I wish I hadn't because he lied to me. A week later, he would come home every day and do it again. I forgave him each time because he said he was drunk and didn't remember, or sometimes he would say he thought I was mom, but I knew he was lying because I would hear him arguing with her before he came and did that to me."

"Around that time, I met a guy. I wasn't into him or anything, but he always gave me drugs. He told me they would make me feel better, and they did. So I followed him around like a lost puppy. It got so bad that I couldn't live without them. If I was without them for a second, I felt disgusted with myself, and my thoughts would start going crazy, telling me I deserved everything I went through and didn't deserve to live."

"I was seventeen when I decided I couldn't do it anymore. I tried to end it all, but I wasn't successful. My neighbor ended up coming to check on me because I wasn't answering anyone's phone calls. He found me unresponsive and called for help," she sighed. "Now do you understand why I hung up the phone, y/n? I'm not good at comforting people because I've never had comfort. Even when I lived with my grandparents there was no comfort, only work. The only comfort I've ever had in my life was drugs so that day you told me what happened to you I turned to them. I'm sorry but I'm afraid I'm no better than the mom I had myself" she looked at me and frowned. "I'm not a good mother y/n and I'll never be able to do anything good for you. Even if I try to get help I'll fail every time. The only reason I come to this place is to stop me from killing myself. The only advice I can give you is to never be like me in life y/n, anything is better than me." With that she reached in the back, grabbed her bag and was about to leave but I locked the doors.

I reached over and gave her the biggest hug. I felt like utter shit for the things I said to her. She might not have been the best mom, and her actions most definitely can't be excused, but no one deserves what she went through, not even her.

"I'm so sorry, Mom," I cried. "I'm so sorry."

"Please don't be. This has nothing to do with you and also doesn't excuse how horrible of a mom I am to you," she hugged me back with one hand and took the other and played in my hair. "I love you, Y/N."

"I love you too, Mom."

We stayed like that for a few minutes, crying in each other's arms until my mom let me know she had to go, and I had to let go. We said our goodbyes, and she got out of the car.

Instead of pulling off right away, though, I decided to put my head down and think. I thought about what my mom said.

"Never be like me in life, Y/N," her voice repeated in my head. I sighed, lifting my head up and putting the car in reverse.

"Oh, Mom, I already am."

A/n ~ sorry for not updating. I've been so busy and testing is coming up so I don't have a lot of time on my hand but still I love y'all and will try to update more | Also, I finished this chapter a few days ago but I'm just now releasing it sorry but HAPPY BIRTHDAY CONNIE SPRINGER!!!

[sunnylands-world]

When your away

Pairing: Bucky barnes x fem reader

Summary: after Bucky let's work consume him turning him into some else entirely it causes some issues between your marriage…

Word count: 724

Warning: it's kinda poetry like so I'm sorry, Bucky brings it out of me

Universe: marvel

A/n: wrote this when while I was bored in the hospital so it may not be my best but if you want to leave kind feedback I'd appreciate it very much ALSO HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY MY LOVE! I love bucky so much

𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚗 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚋𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚑 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚐𝚘𝚗𝚎, 𝚒𝚝 𝙸𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚝 𝚋𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚙.

He hung his coat, kissed your head and went to bed. It had been that way for a while. in the beginning your marriage was the rainbow a child beamed to see, the perfect story you'd fall asleep reading but you guessed you'd fallen into an easy lullaby assuming life had granted you a fairytale; but as Monday turned to Sunday you fell back into reality, one where a man had become so hung up on his work that his life at home consistenced of short words, quiet meals and heads against pillows sleeping till tomorrow brought the start of the loop again.

This was what was needed in this cruel world: a good paying job for food on the table and sleep in warm beds. you only wished your husband wasn't taken away from you in the process. He was still there, telling you he loved you, praising your cooking. The difference was it all seemed so shallow.

Sadness is like a disease passed around till the world is standing in a circle easing the pain in the worst of ways. you've got this, breathe, everything will be okay, whispered by one another to heal for the hour. The people in a circle will move but there is always something hanging in a man's closet that he cannot throw out no matter how many new suits he hangs on the rack to hide it.

You had no way of knowing if bucky felt as empty as you; he never said and you were sure he stood in the mirror, bags under his eyes, forced smile repeating the words he hoped would heal you. he felt that weight on his shoulders from his father saying he had to keep you happy for life to flow steady but he'd never taken into account that you, the women he'd married was not searching for someone to hold her afloat but someone who was half. half pain like any human and half healed like someone who was trying.

You didn't care if he had the whole basket of troubles because you were willing to help him wash them clean no matter how many cycles it took. That was what marriage was about, was it not? But of course he was stubborn. Didn't want to burden you with the nightmares or his torturous past. You were just as broken now. both of you walking in a house with a bubble. One that held everything unsaid.

"I'm not going to break away if you tell me what is bothering you, bucky." you muttered and his eyes met yours with exhaustion.

"but if I tell you what is going on you may not be able to handle it." he states, forking at his plate, giving your ear a sharp ache.

"But we can not live like this! What have we become?" You snapped, fist hitting the table in frustration, the glasses levitating for a moment before they came back down expressing just how much this had bothered you.

"Do you want me to tell you about the battles me and Steve fought or about the memories of people dying with fear in their eyes at the mercy of my hand as I killed them without a thought of hesitation!" He raged.

"I just want my husband to not be a brooding wall of lies. I am aware you only say the things you say to keep me from feeling hurt but you have done that by being so shallow and empty!" You shout, tears of loneliness falling down your cheeks.

He's silent. He's trying to figure out how to fix it. How to reverse the time before your tears fell or your voice raised but be can't so he stands walking your way to Envelope you in the warmth of his skin and the cold of the metal arm that scares his memories. Your cries grow low as you let it all go.

"I didn't mean for it to get this way," he sighs with his hand resting on your head.

"We can fix it. we always can, just don't leave me in the dark Again." You mumbled against his hard chest.

𝙿𝚘𝚜𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚔 𝚊 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚙𝚊𝚝𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚖𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚎𝚗𝚍…

[therudepickle]

Well, seems like I get too excited when I start to like someone and I invest too much time thinking about them 😂 sure I’m pretty damn lonely, but I’m content with it. We started to talk, but I think as the title says “feelings not mutual.” She’s such a beautiful person, but we’re far apart. She’s smart, funny, drop-dead -I’ll fight the whole world for you-gorgeous, but she’s also like way younger than I am 🥲 oh well right? I don’t know why she asked for my number honestly, I guess that’s where I’m confused. I mean I dated older women when I was younger too, but I think that’s different. How did I let myself think there could be more? Idiot central on my brain stem.

Shucks!

What I truly miss about a relationship/friendship is spending the time with someone and doing things together, even mundane things like grocery shopping to make sandwiches. I’ve spent most of the last decade being reserved. All the things I got excited to imagine doing with this person.. I gotta just do them myself!

Ideas so far : go hiking (hell if I get stuck in a crevice and die, that’s two birds with one stone, right?) Next, go downtown to paint the legal walls in the arts district. I really wanted to go ice skating or even regular skating, but I do that by myself sometimes anyway. She said, “you should go take a trip somewhere!” Because I have some days off, but it’s more so because it’s my Dad’s birthday and the first of his birthdays since he passed away. I took the days off because my Mom has been crying all week and I’m staying home to get some larger projects done around the house; like painting walls and climbing ladders to clean high-up which makes her happy, but like how happy could that really make her on my Dad’s birthday now that he’s gone? But hey, I’m joining a gym tomorrow, so that’s new I guess.

The real problem I have, my brother being an addict and continuing to relapse every few months. He was high when my Dad died, he was high as I was performing cpr on my Dad.. after we carried him to the floor.. he was high taking my Mom downstairs as she nearly died from her heart breaking (literally.) He was high the last time we saw my Dad to say goodbye after they pronounced him dead.. and he saw me close his eyes with my finger tips. He was high everyday my Mom was in the hospital- and he’s been high all this month and last month. He threw away five months sobriety because some girl moves back here and she (big surprise) gets high too. The most hurtful part is the lies.. and why lie when I already know the truth? I can see it, I can smell it, and god be damned if he doesn’t know that by now. More so it hurts watching him do the same to her. My mom said, “You were high when your Dad died and you’ll be high when I die! Won’t you?!”

She has always been so strong my whole life and it’s been devastating seeing her deteriorate in the last couple years. Honestly, if she’s gone I don’t know what I’d do, my whole life’s purpose has become caring for her and helping with bills, but really with my brother torturing her like this.. I mean, it just all feels so pointless. The last day I was at work, everyone knew I was down and out over something.. but how could I even say any of this to anybody? Why burden anybody with it besides some strangers who happen across a post this long and take the time to torture themselves with reading all of it? Lmao 🤣 (sorry if you made it this far.) Well.. till next time I guess, whenever I’m feeling stuck in between giving up and pushing through.. I’ll keep everyone updated 👍 *cricket chirping intensifies*

[pbandjesse]

My throat hurts today! What the heck! This whole time I didn't have a voice my throat never really hurt and now I can talk I talked to much and made my throat hurt. Very annoying.

But I will not let it ruin my whole day. Because today was awesome. I had such a good day.

I slept alright last night. Though I woke up feeling very dried out. Which is probably what exasperated my throat. I got up and washed my face and drank some water and was able to go back to sleep.

When I woke up for real at 9 I felt alright. I stripped the bed and went to get washed and dressed. I decided to take a shower and wash my hair this morning. I do really like washing my hair in the day time rather then at night. I think it dries nicer. And even though I hate when my neck gets wet from my hair. It is almost worth it for me hair.

I walked around the apartment to assess what I needed to do before Naomi and Kim came over for a private sewing lessons. I was really excited. Also nervous! Terribly nervous!

James had made me breakfast and left it in the microwave. I appreciated that a lot. I warmed that back up and ate in the kitchen.

I put all the clean dishes away that were in the dishwasher. And loaded in the newly dirty stuff. I would start cleaning the apartment then. Three times today I would vacuum up some snails in the frog tank. Just continuing my battle against the snail invasion. But I mostly focused on cleaning the apartment and making it nice for guests.

Our vacuum had a big clog and I took that out on the fire escape and took it apart and cleaned it out. I would then vacuum and wipe things down. Dusting and putting things away. I was really happy with how the space was looking and feeling. Ignore our bedroom where all the Christmas stuff is piled, and James room where I moved my rocking chair and stool so I could set up the picnic table to have a work space. Everywhere looked great.

I would work on the studio for a bit. I did all the finishing sewing on the bears and horses from last night. So I have 4 more finished bears and 3 more horses. I am very pleased. I also have absolutely no more space on my cart.

I'm hoping when I do the holiday sales I can make some surprise bags or a sale basket to get some of the not as well made or ugly ones into new homes. Something I'll work on soon.

I was sewing and getting things ready. Poking around the apartment. I had a 4 hour video playing which helped me keep moving. I love when I don't have to stop whatever I'm doing to find a new thing to watch. I can just let it play and do my thing.

I would have some lunch. And work on a document to organize the houses we want to see because I felt like we had the listings in to many places and it was getting confusing. I do keep thinking about the yellow house. There would be work to be done. But our monthly expenses would go down so much. And I love a deal. And its a starter home! In a neighborhood I love! It might take work over time, but it also could be exactly what I wanted. Even if it's a little small. The basement storage is awesome. We might go see it again tomorrow. I hope it gives me clarity. In either direction.

I did one more vacuuming of the snails and as I was finishing that Kim, Naomi's mom, texted me they were downstairs.

She was actually trapped by a bus waiting at the light. So I got a good laugh about that. I brought them inside though and was excited to show off the building. It really is beautiful. And I do love it here. Even if I am ready to move into a new home, I still love it here.

And Kim was so nice. She thought we had the nicest place and kept saying how cool it was and how organized I am. And that felt really good. I worked hard on that!! Like I know I'm a maximalist. I have so much. But it's all in its place. And I know where things are.

Naomi was very interested in Sweetp and my fish tanks. Omelet was not out so later I would send pictures and Naomi was very excited about that. In her own way. She's very quiet and has a flat affect. But I enjoy her. She is funny.

We would sit down, after looking at my fish tank with Ari the Betta, and got to work. She brought 7 koopalings to try to create clothes for. We would make 3. Two in felt and one in a cotton. I cut everything out and we went over the pattern I created. Which I made almost the exact right size and was very proud of myself.

We worked on whip stitching. Pinning. Tying off (which she was very good at! Which most people struggle with). Buttons. And then we did some hemming with a running stitch. It was great.

Naomi was funny though and every once in a while she would ask if it was time to go. Her mom was just like. Not quite yet. And we kept working. We would have one of the shirts into a jacket for a koopaling with to big a head. And we would reenforce that one in the sewing machine.

Kim was fun to talk to as well. About my collections and music. Stuff Naomi is in to, stuff I'm into. Sewing and art and things. It was a really nice afternoon.

We worked on the sewing machine for a while. We discussed how to hem the necks of the shirts. I also showed them how to do a blanket stitch which they might use to make a fleece blanket for their grandma for Christmas. So sweet.

Kim would venmo James to pay me and said I'm not charging enough so she gave me some extra which was very kind of her. And she she scheduled to come back in a few weeks. Amazing. I'm so glad she trusts me to teach Naomi stuff. I think it's also just my energy. I was thrilled though and had such a good time.

I walked them down and said goodbye. Made sure they were alright getting out. And then I was alone again.

I had a bag of stuff to take to the car. So I went to do that. Just some junk to take to camp. It was very beautiful outside.

I came back upstairs and started putting stuff away. Put the room back together. And got cuddled on the couch. Had some cheese and crackers. Throat was hurting but I was having a good time.

James would come home early. I was happy to see them. They would make us dinner and we talked about our days. I got very tired all of a sudden. I enjoyed my corn on the cob and vegetarian crab cakes. But then I just wanted to lay on the couch with sweetp and watch videos.

Eventually James joined me. They read while I scrolled and was a baby about my throat hurting.

I would go take a bath. It helped a little. But really I'm just very tired. I am ready to sleep. It's nice to be clean and in pajamas. Texting Jess and helping her find vintage knobs to match the ones she got at the thrift yesterday. She said I was amazing. I am such a good finder.

I am ready to sleep now. Tomorrow we are going to the B&O museum for a belated birthday for James. And then we are supposed to go see houses. I hope we do. I hope we find something great. On a great block.

Wish us luck. I love you all. Goodnight everyone!

[skzhocomments]

Broken hearts can heal - Choi Minho SHINee Fanfic - Chapter IV - Home is a person

Story masterlist - please consult it for the summary of the story, trigger warnings etc.

Wattpad link

AO3 link

Chapter III / Chapter V

---

Chapter IV - Home is a person

word count: 1.6k words

"Okay, time to get up." Minho said sternly approaching the bed. Despite the harshness in his tone, his eyes were very much gentle, but extremely tired, and still red. "You've laid in bed too much. You have to exercise."

You sighed. You didn't want to get up. You wanted to lay there and die.

Why weren't you in the same car as Kibum?

No, Da-Eun, you can't be selfish like that. You scolded yourself and petted your belly, who was already weighing you down a lot after 7 long months of pregnancy.

"Okay." You got up and made your way towards the bathroom to wash up a bit.

It felt hard to function.

Still, it wasn't just you you were killing, and your baby didn't deserve it.

You love him so much.

Kibum loved him.

"Let's get you dressed and go out for a walk." Minho smiled at you and looked proud of the small achievement you did today: getting out of bed.

Taemin and Jinki were lying on the floor in the living room and watching TV, laughing loudly.

You wished you could laugh like them.

You nodded shortly and went back to the bedroom, finding some comfortable clothes.

You sighed again.

It was so hard to do even the simplest tasks.

Still, Minho was right, and you needed to exercise a bit. You couldn't just lay in bed your whole life. Not when someone else will soon depend on you.

Minho drove you to a nearby park with a big lake. You walked together along the shore and you breathed in fresh air for the first time in 2 weeks. The shy autumn rays felt pleasant on your face.

"Doesn't it feel better?" Minho asked you, smiling.

"Yea. This place is beautiful. It's new."

"Really? How so?"

"Mhm. I haven't been here with Key before. It feels good... to be somewhere where I don't have any memories to remind me that he's gone." You said quietly, but Minho heard you, and he hummed.

"It will feel like that for a while, but... time will pass, and you will stitch the wounds, and you won't always bleed. One day, you'll even be able to look back on the life you had with him and think of all those memories fondly, without pain." He placed his hand on the back of your waist and hugged you as you started crying.

He was crying too.

"You think so?" You asked him.

"Yes."

"Will it keep hurting?"

"Yes. But not as much as it does right now. I promise."

You nodded and hugged him tighter.

~

You started spending more time with the boys, who seemed to be on rotation to stay with you. All of them had work, but Minho seemed to always be there, either doing something around the house, trying to cook, cleaning, or taking you out for daily walks and just staying in your presence.

You also started spending more time outside the bedroom and tried to create a little routine. The first few days, it only consisted of getting out of bed and walking to the living room to watch TV with Taemin for 30 minutes or so. Then, you started talking to Jinki more, and even did small tasks with Minho around the house. Laundry, simple things.

"Uhm, Minho?" You hesitated, but seeing Minho's kind smile made you gather your courage.

"Yes, Da-Eun?"

"Do you... happen to have some time tomorrow at 1?"

"Of course. What do you want to do?"

"I'm around 34 weeks now, so I have a doctor's appointment... just a regular check-up. Do you maybe... uhm, want to come with me?"

"Sure, I'll take you." He smiled.

"No... not just take me. I'm... asking you if you want to come with me."

"Oh."

"It's okay if you don't-"

"I'd love to." He looked at you sincerely. "Thank you so much for asking me. I'd... really love that."

"Okay." You smiled, happy for your little conquest. "I'm seeing a new doctor because my old one has some health issues, and I'm a bit nervous. Thanks."

You needed support for this pregnancy, so you really wanted someone to come with you. While Taemin and Jinki were good friends of yours, you felt the closest to Minho lately, as he's been your rock through everything.

You wondered if he even had time to process his own grief. That worried you.

Still, you needed to be selfish for your baby's sake, so you didn't bring it up. It wasn't the time.

"It will be okay. I'm sure the new doc will be great. It's the same practice, right?"

"Yep."

"There's nothing to worry about. We'll go together, yea?"

You nodded.

"And there's something else... Key and I were in the process of building up the nursery for the baby. Do you think we could also go shopping for a bit afterwards? There's still things to be bought..."

"Yes, let's do that too. Do you have a list of what you need?"

"I'll go make one."

"Great." Minho smiled. "Let me know if you need any help."

~

"The baby is healthy and thriving! Heartbeat is normal. He's already getting into the headfirst position, which is amazing." The doctor nodded his head and smiled.

"That's good to hear." You smiled, holding Minho's hand.

"So, did you have any unusual symptoms, something to worry about? Your complexion looks a bit weak. Any discharge, bleeding or contractions?"

"No, everything's fine."

"What about movement?"

"He's very active. Kicks a lot." You chuckled.

"Maybe you've got the next biggest football player in there." The doctor joked, and Minho smiled.

He held your hand tighter.

"Okay then, since everything seems normal so far, you can go home and just continue as usual. Don't overdo things around the house, though. Since we're approaching your due date, I'd like you to come weekly for check-ups, okay?"

"Okay." You nodded.

"Are there any questions you'd like to ask me?"

"... no, not really." You replied after thinking for a bit.

"No?" He chuckled. "Most couples would ask me if they can still have sex. For the record, the answer is yes, of course, it doesn't hurt the baby in any way, nor does it induce labour. You'd better get at it while you still can, since you'll have to wait at least 6 weeks, if not more, after delivery. Just don't go crazy on positions. You got that, dad?" He playfully slapped Minho's back two times, and both of you grew red in the face.

Of course, your new doctor wouldn't know that Minho and you were not together, and neither of you felt it was necessary to correct him at that moment. The only thing that mattered to you was that, despite him not being the father of the child or your boyfriend, he was there for you, holding your hand.

After the doctor's visit, you went out just as discussed to pick together items for your nursery. You already had most necessities for the baby. All you wanted to get today was a bassinet and a cabinet that acts as a changing table as well, so you can change him, and keep all his diapers and bodysuits in the same place. Minho graciously paid for everything, despite your protests.

On the way home, you got to talk a bit more.

"So, how was your time in Europe?" You smiled, noticing a sparkle in his eyes for the first time ever since Kibum died.

"Key told you about it?" He chuckled.

"He was missing you." You laughed. It was weird to talk about him in past tense. You didn't like that. "Did you shoot a movie, or what was that about?"

"Yea, a new drama. Do you enjoy watching them?" He asked you, taking his eyes off the road every few seconds when you or he would talk.

"Yea. Actually, I think after we're done unboxing and building those," you pointed to the back of the car "I'm going to start a new drama and binge watch it..."

"You can start it as soon as we get home." He chuckled. "I'll build them."

"I'd rather we build them together and then watch the drama..." Your voice trailed off. You didn't want him to misunderstand you in any way, but you felt the need to be in someone else's company. "By the way, are the others still there?"

"Hmm, I'm not sure. Jinki needed to go take care of some business, so probably not, and Taemin is, well, Taemin. He's unpredictable." Minho laughed.

"He has two kids to take care of anyway." You joked, referring to his adorable cats.

"That's true."

"By the way... you know you don't have to... stay with me, right?" You smiled. "Don't get me wrong, I appreciate your support, and I am extremely grateful that the apartment is not empty, and that I got to see and hear other people when all I wanted was to melt away in my bed, but... you also have a life to live."

"We know that, Da-Eun, don't worry. It's just... we want to be there for you. Of course, when the baby comes, we'll let you have privacy, I'll come visit to bring you food and stuff, but we won't wear out our welcome."

"I just needed you to know that while I appreciate it, I don't want you to feel forced to... spend time with me, you know?"

Minho placed his hand on your arm tenderly and smiled at you nodding, letting you know that you can relax and not overthink about it.

"I can't believe he's going to grow up without a father, Minho..." You looked down at his hand and felt a terrible dread settling down in your stomach.

You just told Minho everyone can keep going with their lives, but you were so scared of doing it alone. You truly appreciated everyone being there for you. They don't know how much it meant to you to not be utterly alone in that depressing house that you couldn't call home anymore.

It's true when they say home is not a place, but a person.

---

Chapter III / Chapter V

[thefandomcassandra]

Malaprop (3/9): Clean Up the Debris and Tie the Noose

mal·a·prop — /ˈmaləˌpräp/ (n) - the mistaken use of a word in place of a similar-sounding one, often with unintentionally amusing effect, as in, for example, “dance a flamingo ” (instead of flamenco ). — He shouldn't be here. (Sequel to Champion)

Content Warning: disordered eating, smoking, alcohol, drug use, suicidal ideation, attempted suicide, body horror

Reigen's alarm woke him with screaming klaxons. It was tinny, pitchy, and the same every morning. He had set it half an hour in advance so he could slam snooze and roll over. He did just that.

Twelve minutes later, his alarm went off again. He hit snooze.

Twelve minutes later, his alarm went off again. This time he got up and slowly made his way to the bathroom.

Face, hair, teeth. Shower if he had the time or energy—not today, it seemed. Keys, wallet, shoes, out the door. Lock it. Check to see if he locked it. Double-check.

Doubt himself the whole way to work, even though he had his keys in his damn pocket.

His stomach hurt. It'd been doing that lately, little twinges that turned into pangs if he thought about it too long. He should really invest in quick food. Some kind of granola. Hell, even fucking smoothies. Anything to take the edge off.

Work was...it was work. It was always work. He pretended to be some kind of good person. He lied about being psychic. He gave some foolish sod a massage and force-fed them spoonfuls of self help platitudes about this, that, or the other and then it was a couple thousand yen in the lockbox and see you next week.

Sometimes there was something new here and there. The kid the other week who thought he was being haunted (it was a small cat that lived near his house causing a fuss), the woman two days ago who said she felt like she was being watched (stalker, easily taken care of), and the man yesterday who insisted he was also a psychic (he just wanted someone to talk to after his children grew up and left home). But overall? Same thing day in, day out.

Close shop, lock up, and walk home. There was this black cat that followed him sometimes. Today it was there so he bent down and pet it. It meowed at him and purred.

("Do you know how incredibly lucky you are that you haven't starved like this before? What was feeding you? It was keeping you alive. You will not have that luxury here.")

He walked past the convenience store and, giving in to the desire itching at his lungs, bought a carton of cigarettes so he wouldn't have to stop by tomorrow. He was going through them faster and faster these days. If he wasn't careful, he might wind up like his pops, with a pack a day habit. That'd be an easy way to hemorrhage money that he couldn't afford. So one carton for a month, no more no less, and he could cut back.

The pang in his stomach flared up so he bought a hamburger from MobDonalds. A treat. He deserved a treat every now and then.

It didn't help all that much.

He fumbled his keys on the way back in, dropped them, hit his head on the doorknob when he bent down, hit his head on the way back up too, then finally unlocked his door. Dinner was cup ramen. It also wasn't as filling as he would have liked. He collapsed in his bed and stared at the ceiling.

It was getting harder and harder to go to sleep these days.

His alarm woke him with screaming klaxons.

("I wonder," the fly on his garbage can posited, "how long you can keep this up. Already you are fraying at the edges. You're strong-willed, even without your past emboldening you, but I can see the scars beneath the surface. This is the truest version of yourself." It rubbed its feet together and fluttered its wings, bluebottle eyes watching with scrutiny. "When you finally give way, it will be an implosion, beautiful and catastrophic. I cannot begin to express my delight at the thought.")

Reigen took another smoke break. He shouldn't be smoking as much but it cut the hunger—the strange hunger that he could not place or satiate—so why wouldn't he? If it made the discomfort go away, even as a stop-gap, then it would be worth the monetary cost. As he exhaled a plume of smoke, he wondered what his life would be like if he just kept his head down and did as he was told.

It would be easier, sure, but certainly more boring. He liked fighting for what he wanted, tooth and claw. He was a stubborn kind of man.

("When you finally choose to debase yourself, lower yourself to that of an animal," the crow on the telephone pole pointed out, "you will truly be your most authentic self. What a pity your little friend won't be able to see the process. He might learn something from the whole ordeal.")

Laying in bed at night was a ritual more than a relief. Sleep never came, no matter how hard Reigen tried. Warm milk, alcohol, more medication than he probably should take, no matter how much of what cure he used, sleep eluded him. So lately he just laid there, stared at the ceiling, and silently screamed.

He knew how many cracks were on his bedroom ceiling. He knew when his neighbor's mistress left and his wife came back. He knew when the children across the hall had a holiday break. He knew every intricacy of the people upstairs' sex life. He knew the exact minute every morning that the dog upstairs was taken for a walk, like clockwork.

He wanted this to stop. He wanted it to end. He wanted to sleep more than anything in the world, the screaming hollow in his chest stealing any joy he might have had in his miserable life. He felt grey and washed out, as dark as the night.

And then the sun came up and he finally found respite, eyelids iron curtains slamming shutters on his mental shop. His childish complaints faded to bitter grumbles and his consciousness melted into nothingness.

Minutes later, his alarm went off.

Read the Rest on AO3

[david3096]

Caught Myself (in love with you)

So, in honor of today’s episode I wrote this little fanfic! You can read it on AO3 or in here too!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45724093

“Buck, wake up.” Eddie tries to hold back the tears, tries to remain calm, stable, tries to ignore the despair, agony and suffering that represents...

He tries so many things that nothing feels real. Not the pain in his stomach, not the burning in his eyes, the tension in his legs that is slowly becoming part of his whole body. This shouldn't be happening.

“Buck, wake up, for fuck's sake.” He puts his hands on his face and even though he doesn't want to, he lets the tears come out.

His mind tells him he should stop, but he ignores it  for two reasons, the first is that Buck is in front of him, not giving a sign of waking up soon and the other is that he no longer bothers to cry in front of others, no longer feels the need to hide his emotions, to pretend everything is okay when clearly it's not.

And there's no one in the room, he doesn't have to pretend to be strong because Chris is here or try to comfort his friends. He's alone with Buck. With him he can show his feelings without experiencing the embarrassment that comes with it.

He must admit that Fran has been a great help in this aspect of his life, but he can't take credit away from his best friend either.

Buck has been there for him through every difficult time, through every moment when he felt his life was losing direction, that there was no meaning anymore, that he couldn't go on.

But Buck has also been there in the good times, in the happy times, in all those evenings cooking dinner for the three of them, or doing homework with Chris while he cleans the house. The evenings, when they're both tired and just want to sit on the couch watching some quiet movie. Hours and hours working, sleepless nights at the station or drinking beers in their kitchen. Buck is the best thing that has happened to her since they moved to Los Angeles.

“Buck, please wake up.” His voice sounds like a plea now, the tears have subsided a bit and so has the tension in his body. Buck looks so calm which makes this all the more ironic and painful. He looks like he's just sleeping, just like when he sleeps over at home and finds him the next morning in the strangest position on the couch. But he feels that something is missing, that something doesn't quite add up in this scene. And it's not just the hospital gown, nor all the pain he feels. There's something missing. “I can't do this without you.” He adds, realizing that he had never considered this before.

As stubborn as he can be, as much of a risk-taker as he is, as many accidents he's had in the past and the dangers they pass day after day, he had never thought this could happen. That Buck would be the one to get hurt, that he would be the one to face a life without Buck, that he might never be able to see those blue eyes again, or hear his laugh, taste his food, hear the snoring when he sleeps over.... That's what was missing.

Buck is not snoring.

Because Buck is not asleep.

And no one knows when he'll wake up.

“Hey.” Bobby's voice snaps him out of his trance, he stands in the doorway. “I'll go get something to eat, you want to come?” They're the only ones left with Buck and he's thankful for that. Maddie said she'd be back tomorrow morning so Eddie could sleep but he doesn't plan to go away for a second or leave this damn hospital until he knows Buck is okay.

“I'm not hungry, thanks.”

“Eddie, you need to eat something.” He doesn't want to worry Bobby any more, it's bad enough that he's asked for time alone with Buck, he feels he's done something selfish, something forbidden. “It's been three days since...”

“I know, I know. But...”

“Can I get you a coffee and some cookies?”

“Okay, thanks.” He hopes Bobby knows that he doesn't just thank him for the coffee and his concern. He thanks him for being here, thanks him for letting him have this moment alone with Buck, thanks him for not judging him for crying so much.

“No problem.” Bobby disappears without another word and Eddie stands up to get a better look at Buck, to be closer to him.

He wants to run his hand through his hair, to touch his cheek, to touch his chest, his hand, to be so close to him so he doesn't know where Eddie starts and Buck ends. But...

But that would be weird, wouldn't it?

He tries to ignore the voice in his head telling him that this is in fact weird, that this isn't something someone would do for his best friend.

And without much thought he runs his hand through his best friend's hair, down his cheek, then his neck. His chest, his heart that stopped beating....

He wants to leave his hands there, to hold him, he has the foolish hope that by feeling his hands, his warmth, Buck will wake up, Buck will come back to him.

But he decides to put his hand on top of Buck's hand.

And an electric current runs through his body with intensity. Not with the same intensity as it did in Buck's body.... He lets out a small laugh, he can almost see Buck's angry face light up at the mean joke he just thought of.

He imagines how he would cross his arms, in how he would move his lips in a little grimace and then laugh as if he couldn't contain himself or as if Eddie was the funniest man in the world.

Remember how his eyes would sparkle, in how his features would become finer in the moonlight, in how sometimes he couldn't stop looking at his lips, that sometimes he'd want to...

“Fuck.” He lets go of Buck's hand. His heart beats fast, did he really just think of that? “Shit, shit, fuck.” He hopes that if anyone hears him, they'll think he's suffering because of his best friend's unpredictable diagnosis and not because, after who knows how long he's realized that the voice in his head is right.

The voice that always tells him that it's not normal how he feels about Buck, that best friends don't feel that way, that they don't want, don't desire and don't need to be around each other. Not like Eddie needs it. That best friends don't think about kissing or touching each other like he's thought and ignored for so many years when it comes to Buck.

“Shit, Buck.” He reaches out again, runs his hand through his hair again. “I can't believe I needed you to be struck by lightning to realize I'm in love with you.” Saying it out loud makes it more real, much more real, and it scares him. For his feelings, for the idea that Buck might not wake up, for being a stubborn fool who didn't listen to himself, for having to face the consequences of not having confessed to him that he loves him. At least not in a direct way.

He returns his hand over Buck's and decides to sit up, stops looking at his face so calmly. There is so much he wants to say, so many words and emotions that he can neither convey nor explain nor understand. But he is sure of one thing, he loves Evan Buckley.

“How could I have missed it?” He closes his eyes and squeezes his hand a little, waiting for an answer, but he remains motionless. “Chris and Carla did teased me about it, but I... Fuck, I love you Buck.” A few tears escape him, his heart racing as he says those words again. This is so much harder now. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

He sighs, he feels so much more devastated now than before, he doesn't know what to do with all these emotions, with all that's bothering him, with all the love he has for Buck that he still can't confess or give him.

“He's going to wake up.” Bobby's voice makes him jump. A surge of shame runs through his body but he ignores it, he's not going to repress his emotions now. Especially not when it's Buck. Bobby enters the room and stands on the other side of the bed. “And when he does you can tell him how you feel.” Bobby doesn't look him in the eye, he looks at Buck.

“How long have you been here?”

“Since you started cursing. I was waiting for you to calm down before I came in, but...” Bobby doesn't finish the sentence, it wasn't a good time to interrupt him. “I brought you a coffee, black.” Bobby reaches out and offers him the cup, he tastes it, it's already a little cold.

“Do you think...?” He regrets asking the question, so he stands up to run his hand once more through Buck's hair, hopes Bobby ignores this too.

“That Buck in love with you too?” He sighs, not wanting to hear the answer. “He is. I don't know if he knows it, though.”

“I was going to say it would be impossible, but I didn't know either until like, five minutes ago.” The two of them share a little laugh, maybe the first genuine one since Buck....

“He'll wake up, I know it.” He's not sure if Bobby's reassurance is just to calm him down or to calm himself, but it helps him, makes him relax and be able to wait for the moment when Buck comes back to him and he can confess all the love he feels for him.

[dietcherrycolaghostgirl]

🎀 Life update split into little paragraphs (10) to make it easier to read 🎀

I am doing really well, barely eaten over the past week, yesterday I had to eat normally to pretend to my mum that I’m fine and I purged a lot thankfully (I’m getting pretty good at it now) and today I had low cal fibre bars to push down anything that’s left over.

Then I had a chew and spit binge, because I need to pretend I actually ate stuff so yeah I had to do some cooking but I’m actually still doing good because other than the low cal fibre bars I haven’t actually eaten anything else.

I have the rest of today then 3 more days to fast and maybe chew and spit some more but I also have a lot of studying I need to do because I have a deadline on Monday then another on Wednesday. Man, this whole ed thing makes you have to plan things and I’m so disorganised and I’m super bad for procrastinating.

The one bad thing is I picked my skin pretty badly yesterday so it’s all red and blotchy and bad but it’s ok I can deal with it, I will buy a face mask later.

Right now I’m gonna clean the entire house (get my steps up) then go get my face mask, then come back and do some work. My grandparents are also supposed to be dropping food here but I have no idea when, I also need to work out what I’m gonna do with it. Tomorrow I’ll get up at 4am to study because I find that works well. I need to stop having so much black tea and coffee because it’s making my teeth yellow too.

Sorry that’s a lot of updates in one go but I’ve been drowning in brain fog recently, for obvious reasons.

Feelings:

I can feel and see my ribs and hip bones and my shoulders are bony and my legs look thinner and I weigh the same as I did at like 14 before puberty so I’m pretty happy about it.

I hAte that I had to eat yesterday but it’s a small sacrifice if I consider that if I was found out I’d be forced into recovery. I’m annoyed at myself for eating four 78 kcal birthday cake fibre bars today but that’s 312 kcals that will go straight through me and later I will do 6000 steps which is 300 kcals to make up for it and an extra workout later this evening. Also since I won’t eat for the next three days the fibre will be necessary, especially to get rid of yesterday’s leftovers (bread hurts to purge ok) I mean that’s not much considering extreme hunger, it could have been a lot worse (it almost was hence the zero kcal chew and spit ‘binge’), besides it’s probably good to have a metabolism day to speed up the weight loss :)

I’m proud of myself because I normally binge when I’m with my mum but I turned down some of her suggestions (like getting fries) and I didn’t overeat (by a normal person standard) and while it hurt my stomach so bad because it’s probably smaller by now, it meant I wasn’t suspected and I’m ok now to ⭐️ve for 3 days. Though I do wish I had lied and said I already ate lunch, I didn’t think of lying at the time but it’s ok I’ll remember next time.

Sorry for rambling but thank you for reading this far and I’ll keep ⭐️ving and updating and all that good stuff. Love ya byeeeee 💖💖🎀