#also i have like over ten of these left so I'm sorry of you're sick of them

[blackbirdie1234]

Hey!! I love your fic's so much!

Can I request a Jacob x Fem!reader where they are friends but reader has a crush on Jacob. When he shifts he leaves and does what he did to Bella like ignoring her and Billy won't answer the door.

Mutual pinning but neither knows. He imprints on reader.

Thank you so much keep up the great writing :)

Also, I was wondering if you are going to be doing the vampires as well?

Hi!, Thank you so much for the request! I appreciate the kind words <3

I will be doing fanfics for the vampires as well! As of right now I only have the wolves, but I am planning on making a master list for the vamps and Bella. If you want to make a request for them I can definitely do that! I am planning on making a fic for Jasper soon!

A/N: Not proofread! I aged Jacob up a bit, you both are seventeen here. I didn't know exactly how to end this but I think I might do a spin-off series off of this fic so if you are interested in that let me know. Also, sorry for the late posting I am currently sick and going through it lmao. Hope you enjoy <3

Warnings: Jacob being an ass, cursing, angst, Y/N with a backbone.

Wolf’s Out Of The Bag

Jacob Black x Fem!reader

You were staring blankly down at your phone. Ten phone calls, ten phone calls sent to voicemail. Ten desperate, pleading voicemails. No callback, no text, nothing received. You snapped your phone closed and threw it down on the bed.

It had been two weeks since Jacob stormed off from your house after getting into a small disagreement, at least it started off that way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"It's nothing you need to worry about, Jacob," You grumbled with a slight roll of your eyes. Hoping he would drop the subject.

He was giving you an irritated look. You lightly pushed him with your shoulder giving him a small smile.

"I didn't think you'd care that much, it was one date and it's never happening again," you noted with a light-hearted laugh to ease the tension.

He turned to face you, irritation turning to anger. You could actually feel the heat radiating off of his body next to yours.

"Wow you must be really dumb, I mean how could you even think about going on a date with that pig. He's not good enough for you, but then again if you were desperate enough to give him a chance maybe I'm wrong" He barked getting more bitter with each word.

You look at him in shock.

"Why would you say that to me" You said not believing what you were hearing. "It's really none of your business who I go out with, you aren't my bodyguard, you don't have to 'protect' me. When did you get the right to decide who is 'good enough' for me? Huh? You're being a dick and I don't know why but it better change right now." You say sternly. He has never acted like this before and this sudden behavior change is not sitting well with you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jacob left shortly after that. He had gotten so angry he was shaking, you can't even remember the words that were thrown after that. Now, he wasn't answering the phone. Billy said he came down with mono, you didn't know how much you believed it but decided to trust that Billy wouldn't lie to you.

Jacob was your best friend, you loved him a lot. You had never had such an intense fight, you never thought he would react the way he did. You only went on the stupid date to get Jacob out of your head, you thought that maybe you would get over Jacob if you found someone else to pay attention to. You were wrong, no one made you feel the way that Jacob did. Jacob made you feel at home, you couldn't explain why but it was like he was the person you were meant to be with. He was the one who understood you fully and would never judge you for anything you said or did. Until now......

You were deeply hurt by what Jacob said to you, and if he thought that you would get over it he was surely mistaken. He had never said anything more hurtful to you in your entire friendship. You had thought about just letting it go, letting life run its course even if it meant Jacob being out of your life, but you couldn't just sit and let him speak to you that way. You wanted answers. Sitting in your room waiting for him to call and explain was becoming too stressful. You sat there for hours overthinking and no matter what you were doing you were replaying the moment in your mind.

You must be going crazy. At least that's what you were trying to convince yourself after seeing Jacob cliff-jumping with Sam Uley and his gang. You had decided that you would go to La Push, and relax your body and mind on one of the only partly cloudy days in Forks. The skies were pretty clear but there was a storm coming soon, so you decided to do it now. Never in your life did you think you would see what you were seeing now. Are you fucking serious? was all you could think as you drove your car straight to Billy Black's house. You wanted to make sure it was really Jacob, so you went to the man who had told you how 'serious' his condition was in the first place.

As you pulled into the driveway the clouds began covering the sky in a dark grey mass. You hopped out of the car and began walking to the front door, Billy had opened the door as soon as you stepped onto the wood. His face had a mix of concern and confusion as he noticed your agitated expression and the way your chest was slightly heaving from anger.

"Where is he" you say with a grumble.

"He's not here, he went out," He says seriously but looking down a bit not wanting to make eye contact. Billy didn't like lying to you and to your face it was even worse.

Just as you were about to speak you looked to the side and saw that far away down the hill, Jacob stood playfully nudging another man as a few more came out of the woods.

"Don't Y/N" Billy said in warning.

You started stomping down the hill, ignoring Billy's yells. Billy calling your name caught the attention of Jacob, as his face shifted from laughing to completely still. You continued to walk towards Jacob as the rain started, it quickly went from a drizzle to full pouring as you finally reached him.

To say you were fuming would be an understatement.

"What the actual fuck Jacob!" you say basically screaming at the shirtless man, who was now staring directly into your eyes with what looked like pure amazement but you ignored it the best you could, whatever love for him you felt in that moment may have been strong but you were too angry to care so you continued.

"So we have one fight and you ignore me for two weeks?! I called you ten times, ten times Jacob. You couldn't bother picking up the phone at least once, you could've told me you didn't want to be friends but no! You had your daddy lie to me" You say with an angry laugh.

"I thought you were sick Jacob! Too sick to pick up the damn phone and text me! Come to find out you were just having too much fun cliff jumping with the guys we used to make fun of! You know what you can have them, If you want to throw away seventeen years of friendship then be my guest." You say finally taking a breath.

The weight off of your chest feels amazing, but as you finish Jacob falls to his knees. The boys behind him look between you two with pure shock on their faces before they start laughing and smiling. You look up at them shocked and confused thinking they were making fun of you. They start walking away but not before patting Jake on the back. Sam leans down and whispers something to him as he sits there still on his knees staring at you.

"Do you even care about a word I just said to you? You know what never mind if you think this is a joke I might as well leave," You say turning around and starting to walk away.

Jacob suddenly found his voice as he quickly got to his feet and stumbled trying to reach you.

"WAIT! Wait, wait, Y/N please hold on!" He spoke hurriedly. Grasping for your hand and pulling you around. Hand now resting on your waist.

"I am so, so sorry. Please let me explain everything, I promise I won't lie to you anymore. I can explain everything now, just come inside and dry off." He said pleadingly, trying his best to get you to listen to him.

You thought for a moment, you didn't trust him at all but the way he was speaking you knew he was telling the truth to some extent. It was hard for him to lie to you, you know how Jacob works, you know the subtle mannerisms he has when he's not telling the truth. Considering all of this you finally speak.

"Fine, but if things don't add up or I find out you are still lying, I am gone," You say sternly, pulling his hands away from you and walking up the hill.

When you get to the house, Jacob gives you warm tea and a blanket which you take from him without a word. He comes over and sits across from you. He almost reaches for your hand but stops himself.

"The day that I left your house, something changed, I changed...." He claimed, looking at your reaction with a hint of fear but continued "This is going to sound crazy, but you have to believe me on this..... I am a werewolf"

You stared at him for a moment before throwing the blanket off and standing up, Jacob followed suit immediately. You threw him a glare before starting to walk out.

"No, No, Y/N wait!" he shouted after you, reaching out and grabbing your hand. "I am telling the truth let me show you" He spoke as he continued outside your hand still in his.

" I swear Jacob if this is a pra....."

You went dead silent as he began taking his boots, and then his shorts off. Now standing in just his underwear. He gave you a curt nod and then started bending and shaking profusely. You could barely blink before your best friend stood in front of you only he wasn't human anymore, he was a massive wolf.

You jumped back a bit as the wolf started coming towards you, noticing your fear he slowly laid down on the ground and gave out a small whine to signal he would not hurt you. You were in complete shock, how was this possible? Everything you ever heard about the stories of the Quileute tribe growing up was true, and your best friend was living proof. A thousand thoughts ran through your mind, but they were silenced by the wolf standing up and trotting to the back of the house. Jacob then emerged in different clothes than before.

"I'm sorry, but I couldn't tell you Y/N" Jacob expressed, grabbing your hands hesitantly until you leaned into the touch slightly.

"Why couldn't you tell me, you know I would never judge you, nor would I ever tell anyone " You pressed before giving him a confused stare "Wait why are you telling me now?"

He looked at you a gave you a crooked smile.

"It's one of the rules that came with the gig" He laughs a bit before pulling you a bit closer. "The reason I can tell you now is because you are my soulmate," He says beaming down at you.

You stare up at him with a bewildered expression.

"I'm your what?" you say breathing out.

"You are my imprint, Y/N. It's a wolf's soulmate, it is the reason for their existence, you feel like it isn't gravity holding you to the ground anymore, it's them. You can be anything the imprint wants you to be, a friend, a protector, a lover, all that matters is that the two are connected. Like vines on trees overlapping each other both on the same path, interlocked." He pauses, putting his hand on your face and caressing your cheek gently.

"I know this might be overwhelming and a lot to handle. I really want you to know how deeply sorry I am for everything that I said. I'm not going to sit here and blame it all on the wolf because it wasn't, I was jealous. I was jealous that you went on that date with someone that wasn't me and I didn't mean a word that I said about you. I'm going to be fully honest with you from now on, starting with the fact that I have been in love with you since the second grade. I know that trusting me will take time, but I am willing to do whatever it takes to earn it back. I understand that I have hurt you, so it might take a very long time but I will always be there for you. Everything is up to you, I understand if you want to reject the connection. The connection can be anything you want it to be, but I really truly do not want to lose you and the past two weeks without you have been hell on earth for me. I'm just really sorry Y/N." He pleads letting go of your hands and allowing you to process.

"I... I love you too Jacob. I have for a while now. I'm not going to forgive you easily but I am glad you understand how much you have hurt me. I am willing to give this a shot, mainly because I can feel the connection and would be an idiot if I said that I didn't." You laugh a bit as he looks at you with the biggest smile on his face.

"But if you ever say or do that to me again I will put you in a dog house and leave you there," You say with an evil smile laughing at the way his face drops before he joins in.

You two get out of the rain and drive separately to Emily's house where you meet the pack and they explain in much more detail what being a wolf really entails. You and Emily become quick friends, and as the days go on you slowly fall into a routine that is pure chaos but you wouldn't have it any other way. You and Jacob work on your relationship, slowly building back trust and falling deeper and deeper into love with each other. You have fully accepted your place in a world filled with wolves and life seems to be going great, that is until they tell you exactly why they turn into the big ferocious beasts....... there are vampires in Forks.

[loveshotzz]

pretend i wrote this when you were sick - pretend it's also not this long. also sorry if it looks like there are parts missing.

He's on his third call while he waits at the door in the early spring breeze, unbottoned work shirt billowing with him -- silently chastising himself for not throwing on a sweater since you told him to do it before he left. He presses the bell again, hearing it go off in the house for the second time, anxiety brewing in his chest. He'd never seen you so sick, and even though the doctor said it was just a bad flu, seeing you in bed like this made his heart pound. He wasn't sleeping, had been working from home the past few days. He'd set up shop right outside the hall of the bedroom, ignoring his office so he could hear if you called out to him -- Bandit dutifully keeping watch over you at the end of the bed. It was something he wasn't expecting to affect him like this, his thoughts getting clouded with the sound of hospital monitors and oxygen machines.

You did your best to understand and assure him you're okay -- you're just kind of a baby about being sick. Lucky for Steve, he's been loving a chance to get to baby you - despite the ache it causes to see you like this.

But the babying would start even quicker if the front door of the house he was in front of would open.

"Honey, am I gonna have to file a report? You can't just be showing up to my house -- I got a wife at home," the tease comes from a familiar smoky voice, "Do you really want her to find out about us?"

"I called three times," Steve huffs, "I said I'd only be gone for ten minutes."

"Do you really think she's counting? She's probably asleep. Plus, you're a minute man," Eddie winks, beckoning him into the house, "And if she calls you can run right home, you're around the fuck--effing corner."

"Yeah, you're around the effing corner, Big Guy," Gwen's tiny voice repeats from the island in the kitchen.

"Gwendolyn," Eddie warns. "Sorry," she whispers back, "I won' say id again."

"Thank you, doll," he smiles, "Can you ask mommy to bring the soup and meds we packed up for your aunt so we can give it to Steve?" She patters away with her light up sneakers glinting pink and purple with every step, disappearing into the house only to run back winded a few minutes later. "Mommy said you have two hands that work just fine so you can get it," she smiles, not fully understanding what she means, "And then she said to say please after. Please!"

Steve snorts, "Yeah, loser, go grab my shi--stuff."

Eddie rolls his eyes, "Whatever."

As her father leaves, Gwen climbs back up on the bar stool and looks up at Steve curiously, "So when does she get to come back over?"

"When she feels better, angel," he smiles, "Why?"

She shrugs, "I dunno, I like when she comes over 'cause then it's not just you."

His mouth gapes with a smile, "What do you mean? Am I not enough for you?"

Gwen shrugs in the way four year olds shrug when they're feeling sneaky, "She's juss funner, Big Guy." "Do you hear this?!" Steve gasps as Eddie re-enters, "She doesn't think I'm as fun."

"You haven't been playing 'Cool Barbies' with her, lately," Eddie shrugs, popping the two tote bags filled with sick day amenities on the table, "Ow, ow Lu, don't pull daddy's hair, please." "It's okay Luce, you can do whatever you want," Steve coos to the baby on Eddie's hip, grabbing the bags and putting them over his shoulder. He leans forward to kiss her only for Eddie to step away.

"Dude, not with your potential flu germs -- they're picking up enough sh--stuff at daycare," Eddie says, taking the baby's pudgy hand and waving, "Say byyyyeee Big Guy." "Bah," Lucy gurgles in her post nap haze, head resting heavily on Eddie's shoulder. "Bye, Big Guy," Gwen smiles, hugging him at the knees, "Tell Auntie-I-said-hi-and-I-miss-her-and-love-her-and-that-she-is-so-pretty-and-that-I-have-new-Barbies."

"I will tell her, thank you for the message," Steve nods, chest hammering again at the thought of you sick and bed without him. He flicks his head up at Eddie, "Tell Peach I said hi."

"Yeah, I'll tell her somethin' alright," he half grumbles, hoisting Lucy higher up on his hip. Steve blows Gwen a kiss before making it back to you in the quick trip is takes to get back to your place. He knocks softly before stepping in, hearing your soft 'hm?' that sets his whole body a buzz with affection. "I have..." he starts, opening the bags, "Two quarts of Peach's famous 'sick soup', a shit ton of orange juice, 800mg motrin, a card from Gwen, a drawing from Gwen, three new pairs of fuzzy socks, a toy for Bandit? Okay..." He lists off the rest of the care package before looking at you with a smirk, "And absolutely nothing for me." "I can gib you someding," you murmur out with a stuffed nose, "I can gib you a kiss." "Ooh, how about I give you a kiss tough girl?" he asks, chestnut hair falling into his eyes as he leans down to kiss your forehead. His lips are warms against your clammy skin, enough to soothe you back into a cozy half sleep under the covers, "How're you feelin'?" "Dired," you admit, "Bud I could really use thad soup." "Okay," he nods, "I'll heat it up for you." He gets back to the door looking back with a soft gaze on you, thinking of Lucy's face and how it looks when you hold her on your hip, how you look when you play Barbies with Gwen. How it would look when there's a baby that's the perfect blend of the two of you bouncing on your lap, when there's a baby monitor in the bedroom, when you're both complaining about germs at daycare. He opens his mouth to say something, but closes it before going downstairs. Right now, babying you is just enough.

CAROL!!!! Stop 😩 I physically cannot handle this amount of yearning. What have you done to me?!? I’m still sick (it won’t go away) so this was still perfect. Of course he’s imagining getting me pregnant while taking care of me, ILL GIVE THAT OLD MAN ANYTHING HE WANTS!!

Also shout out to the number one couple here and that’s ocs!eddie and airwiy!steve. I love that the little glimpse we get of them living close to each other now and the little growth of the munson family 🥺

[iamwhoami]

Babysitting 101

Chicago Med

You and Connor babysit Owen so that Will and Natalie can still have their date night after the babysitter calls in sick.

Warnings: None

Requested = Yes

Y/L/N = Your Last Name

"Nice job back there Dr. Y/L/N," Connor smiled at you.

The two of you had just finished a relatively easy surgery and had returned to the ED to help with the backlog of patients. Between the icy roads and flu season, they could use all the help they could get in there.

"You weren't too shabby either Dr. Rhodes," You shot back and Connor smirked.

"Quit flirting over there lovebirds," Maggie called out, "Y/N you're needed in Treatment 2. Connor, we have an incoming five minutes out, you're going to Baghdad."

"I'll see you after shift then?" Connor quirked an eyebrow and you nodded.

"You bet."

~~~

The rest of your day flew by without any sight of your boyfriend. You were so busy, constantly rushing from one room to next in an attempt to catch up with the schedule.

By the end of your shift, you were absolutely exhausted and wanted nothing more than to open a bottle of wine and put on your favourite movie while snuggling Connor on the couch.

It was that thought that managed to keep you on your feet.

"I am ready to call it a night," You breathed out while you gathered your items, "I don't know if my feet could stand a moment longer."

"Well, they're going to need to find some juice if you want to get to your car," Maggie joked.

You laughed, "Not if I can convince Connor to carry me there."

"I don't think you'd have any trouble," Maggie said and shook her head, "That man is whipped for you..."

You both chuckled at that but you both also knew it was true. Connor would fly to the moon for you.

"Well, have a good night Y/N," Maggie said and left, leaving you to wait for Connor alone.

You quietly waited on the couch for Connor to finish up his last surgery of the day. Nurses and doctors bustled in and out of the lounge and you wished each and every one of them a good night. You were mostly just on your phone, not actively engaging in any other conversation when you overheard your friend Natalie speaking.

"Sorry Will," She was saying, "The nanny just texted. She can't stay later tonight, something with her sister came up."

"Don't worry about it," Will responded, "I'll cancel the reservation then."

You spoke before you could really think things through, "I can watch Owen!"

When your sudden outburst was met with confused silence, you flushed and fumbled with your words.

"I wasn't eavesdropping, I just overheard," You mumbled quickly, "But seriously if you guys need someone to watch Owen, Connor and I can totally do it."

"Connor won't mind?" Natalie asked and you shook your head.

You and Connor hadn't really talked about kids but this wasn't anything like that. All you had to do was look after a toddler for a few hours. How hard could that be?

"We don't have anything better to do tonight anyway," You told them, "In fact, I think it'll be really fun!"

Natalie chuckled at your enthusiasm, "Well I can assure you that it won't be dull."

"Exactly," You pointed your finger at her, "You and Will go on your date. Do. Not. Cancel. Connor and I will watch Owen."

Will and Natalie took a moment to look at each other as if they were contemplating your offer. Finally, Natalie turned back to face you and nodded.

"Thank you Y/N," Natalie said genuinely, "I owe you one."

You shook your head though, "Nah...you don't owe me anything. I'm just glad I can help."

It was decided that Natalie and Will would go and get ready for their date and that they would drop off Owen when you and Connor were back at your apartment. You figured that you should give Connor a heads up but he was still in surgery and you weren't going to disturb him because he was suddenly on babysitting duty afterwards.

He'd get over it.

About ten minutes later, a tired-looking Connor walked into the doctor's lounge and the deepest part of your gut felt bad that you had dragged him into babysitting Owen after a long shift. That guilt caused you to just stare at your boyfriend for a solid minute before he pointed it out.

"What did you do," Connor demanded teasingly as he turned to face you.

You quickly snapped out of your trance, "Nothing!"

"Uh-huh..." Connor raised an eyebrow, "I know that look Y/N."

You feigned offence, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Connor only continued to stare at you and after a while, you finally caved.

"Okay fine," You sighed. "You have to promise that you won't get mad."

Connor nodded, "Okay..."

"I..." You squeezed your eyes shut before opening them again. "I kind of volunteered us to babysit Owen while Nat and Will go on a date."

Silence.

“So…” You stared at Connor, “Thoughts?”

Connor raised an eyebrow, “You voluntarily agreed to look after a toddler…after working a 12 hour shift…”

“Correct.”

The two of you stood there, staring at each other, unmoving. After a hot second, Connor let out a slightly exasperated sigh and ran a hand through his hair.

“Alrighty then, I suppose we should get going then,” Connor gave you a small smile, “wouldn’t want to keep Nat and Will waiting now would we?”

~~~ Perhaps you had underestimated how exhausting looking after a toddler could be.

No, you definitely had.

Dinner had been tiring enough. Somehow more food had gotten on you and Connor than into Owen's stomach.

"You've got a little something there," Connor teased and wiped mashed potato off your eyebrows.

You laughed, "What? Are you sure it's not my new makeup?"

Game after game. Activity after activity. It just didn't end, and yet somehow, it was you and Connor that were tired out, not Owen.

"Y/N!" Owen's little voice gleefully called out. "Come play!"

You huffed but smiled big for the little boy before pushing yourself onto your feet.

Connor couldn't help but chuckle, "Are you having some regrets right about now?"

"Pfttt, never," You shook your head as you sat yourself down on the ground next to Owen. "Right buddy? We're having a blast?"

Connor smiled at you affectionately. He couldn't deny that he was tired but he also had zero regrets. You were so good with Owen. The way you spoke to him. The way you naturally were so attuned to his needs. The way you understood his toddler language.

It took about another hour before Owen's energy began to wane. After a ten minute chase around the apartment, you had managed to wrangle Owen into his pajamas and Connor convinced him to brush his teeth.

Another twenty minutes later and Owen was passed out in bed and you and Connor collapsed on the couch.

"I'm not sure which was more exhausting," Connor joked. "Our twelve hour shift or this."

You teased, "Did a toddler outdo you?"

"Absolutely," Connor shook his head. "I was absolutely outdone by a toddler."

Laughing, you leaned against Connor who wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you closer to his chest.

"You're really good with him you know," Connor softly said.

You hummed, "You weren't so bad yourself."

"Maybe we should babysit more often," Connor added and you scoffed.

"I think we need a few weeks to recover before making any big decisions."

[billys-pretty-babe]

I'm sorry to bother you but do you take requests for lil insecure anon here? You're You're amazing writer btw...

If you can and would like to, can you pls write something about Billy being hella sick, can be after or before the events at star course, and for once someone is taking care of him, aka someone being his girlfriend that is also his best friend (sorry I just live for the hcs that billy would date his best friend).

If you don't feel comfortable is fine really! I hope you're having a good day

Hi baby, I take requests from anyone and everyone! Don't ever be afraid to request something from me (it may take a few days depending on how my week is going). I'm so sorry that this is almost a week late.

Let Me

Pairing : Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader

Summary : ^^^

Warnings : Vomit and swearing

Word count : ~ 1.02k

A/N : Requests are open

His entire body shook as he coughed. It had been almost a month since Starcourt and Billy's immune system was still weak. He groaned, his throat sore, his nose runny and his head was pounding. "Baby," he called out as best as he could, he knew you were somewhere in the house but he wasn't sure where.

The bedroom door pushed open as you held a cup of water and placed it beside him before pushing his sweaty hair back as you felt his forehead. "Baby, you're burning up. You wanna take a bath or shower?" He shook his head and you helped him take the blanket off considering he was shivering and complaining that he was cold not even ten minutes ago.

"Here, drink some water." He nodded and groaned, his body was aching, everything just hurt and he wanted to cry from the pain but he knew if he could face death at eighteen, he'd be fine with whatever sickness he was dealing with at the moment. You helped him sit up as he drank the cold water, letting his eyes flutter shut as the water helped soothe his throat momentarily before he put the glass down.

"Want something to eat?" He shook his head because he knew he wouldn't be able to stomach it, hell, the water made him feel nauseous. "You'll have to eat soon, B." He nodded and laid back down, spreading out as you wiped his sweaty skin with a wash rag. You gently rubbed his cheek, feeling bad for him. "I'll be back to check on you, take a nap, okay?" He nodded and you left the room and he fell asleep.

30 minutes passed and you decided to check on Billy. You walked into his bedroom to see his head in his trash can, his body lurching forward. You hated vomit, always ran when someone would merely gag but this was Billy, the same boy who risked his life to save teenagers a month ago.

You walked over and moved his hair back from his face as you gently rubbed his back. He finished emptying everything in his stomach before you took the bag from the trash can and quickly ran it outside before putting a new one in the black trash can and you grabbed a rag and dampened it with cold water. You hummed as you walked back to him, cleaning his face and wiping the tears under his eyes.

"I fucking hurt," he said, his voice straining. "Want some Tylenol? It might make your fever go down too." He nodded and you searched his cabinet before finding a bottle of Tylenol and you gave him two pills and handed him his water as he swallowed them. He groaned, his head on his headboard as he looked up.

He reached for you, he just wanted to be comforted but he wouldn't allow you to sleep beside him or kiss him because he didn't know what he had and he couldn't bare to see you in the same position he was. You moved closer to him as he held your waist. "Come on, let's get you a bath." He nodded and you helped him to his bathroom as he sat on the toilet lid as you prepped the bath for him. "Make it cold, please." You looked back, your eyes sad for him.

"Billy, it can't be cold, baby. It'll make you shiver and make your fever worse." He nodded and you tested the temperature of the water, making sure it was warm but not too hot or too cold and you helped him strip before putting him in the tub. He sighed and relaxed, shutting his eyes. You wet his hair and washed it for him, knowing the sweaty strands were aggravating him.

He twisted so his arms were on the side of the tub as he groaned and coughed as you rubbed his back. His coughing fit stopped and he put his head on the side of the tub as you gently rubbed his cheek as you talked to him softly, trying to provide comfort for him as you washed his sweaty skin.

"Let me get your clothes, okay?" He nodded and you left the bathroom and found him a pair of sweatpants. "B, do you have any boxers?" "Hamper," he called out as best as he could. You found the hamper with his clean clothes that you had washed two days before and found a pair before going into the bathroom. You grabbed a towel and helped him out of the tub as you handed him the towel and he dried himself off as you unplugged the drain of the tub.

You plugged in his hair dryer and he cringed before you turned it on. "I know baby but I'm gonna try and make it quick. You can't have wet hair or you'll feel worse." He nodded and slid his boxers and sweatpants on. You grabbed the damp towel and slid it under his hair. "Put the towel over your ears so it'll muffle the sound." He nodded and covered his ears with the towel and his hands as you put the dryer on hot and on the lowest setting so the motor wasn't as loud as you quickly dried his curly hair, using the end of the towel to aid you with the excess water.

You finished his hair and dried off his torso and despite being sick he smirked at you in the mirror. "No, you're sick. Go lay back down." He huffed and walked back to his bed and he laid down and covered up. "I'm cold again." You nodded and put the blankets on him as you sat beside him, moving his hair back. "Want me to lay with you?" He shook his head, "Don't want you to get sick." You nodded, "Okay." His hand found yours, his skin scorching hot as he intertwined his fingers with yours, making you smile.

You continued playing with his hair until he fell asleep. You leaned down and kissed his forehead, "I love you," you softly said, your lips brushing against his clean skin.

[inklore]

— CELEBRATING TWO YEARS OF LOVE.

let's pretend that i posted this on the real anniversary date (july 18th) and not a few weeks late ok. but i'm still shell shocked i honestly stayed around on here for this long, seeing as how i've been on this hellsite for over ten years maybe even longer, have left many blogs and sideblogs behind, but have stayed put on here for longer than it feels. even through all the craziness and friends gained and lost. i have not grown sick of this place and i know it's all because of my mutuals (and followers) aka the most beautiful, hilarious, talented souls anyone could ask to have on their side.

whether we are friends or have never spoken i love you, i adore you. thank you for making my time spent on here worth it even when times get tough and this little hobby of ours seems more like a stressful nine to five.

@deathmotif, @authurials, @theauthorvt, +annie — hey remember when we all met on wp and i started that silly little michael langdon gc on kik and it was a dozen of us in there but then it soon dwindled down to us five and kik was on the verge of imploding and we all moved over to snap and now we literally all talk every day, if not every other??! my day isn't complete without seeing one of you sending an unhinged video in the gc. IT'S BEEN SIX YEARS with you guys in my life and you know me better than anyone. i can tell you my darkest secrets, traumas, thoughts, and there's no judgment. it's literally the most healthy friend group ever. i'm forcing ya'll to dress up as barbie's for my bachelorette party, like you're stuck with me. barbie is serious. just as serious as my love is for each and every one of you. when i think about my life and future you guys are always in it. idk if we should thank cody fern or the antichrist or both. but whoever brought us together in this life i hope they do it in the next because life without y'all would suck.

@psychedelic-ink — you should already know how much i love you, but let me remind you, let me go on for ever and tell you how special you are to me ok. when i was balling my eyes out on the phone/discord you were there to listen to me be a blubbering mess, you were there to talk me down, to listen, to validate my feelings. when i need someone to be motivating and get shit done with me you're there. when i need to rant about something horny you're there to encourage the unhinged. our discord sleepovers are my favorite thing in the world. i'm still shocked when i think back to our casual messages on here turning into a friendship so close and tight that my man spent over $100 to send you a magazine (without question) because he knows how much you mean to me. you have my heart always!

@pedrito-friskito — i have the most vivid memory of me and sil talking about you on discord and how great you were and i was like um?? i wanna be friends with kay! so after we got off of the phone i messaged you and then before i knew it me, you, and sil were in a gc together and the rest is history. i love that you and i like to disappear without a word sometimes but always come back like lol sorry but here's this love and support and encouragement and let me just life update you but also make you horny with this thought, and sil just puts up with us and i love it. ily. i'm forever forcing you to write and publish every story you write because you're going to put sjm to shame with the beauty your brain comes up with.

@tom-whore-dleston — i know i'm the worst at replying but you never make me feel bad for it. you're like 'oh yeah her adhd brain will get back to this text in 2 to 3 business weeks it's ok', and i love you for it. but no seriously ily so much. you're the first person i think of when all i can think about is dick because i know you're thinking the same thing. i know you'll understand. every time i see you post on social media i'm like wtf?? why am i halfway across the states and not with the loml right now?? it's truly unfair because i know if we were together we'd be the most chaotic, loud, sluttiest duo ever. your talent always amazes me, your beauty makes me jealous. both of our partners better watch out because i'ma run away with you one day i swear!

@chaseadrian — the fact that we grew close in a fandom that i despise now and is more toxic than not and a beautiful friendship came out of it?? iconic. every time i think about you all i can think is 'they just seems like they have everything all together, their ideas, their graphics, their mind, the way they speak is like talking to that really cool english teacher' like lmao i cannot explain how much i want your vibe. i adore your vibe. i ADORE YOU.

@greenorangevioletgrass — as one of my first friends on this little blog of mine i feel like i need to do more than put into words how much i adore you, how grateful i am to call you a friend, to be a part of your presence on here. hearing your ideas, your living breathing fic-like life is serotonin to me. like please share in the sexy wealth bestie!

@sapphireplums — when i see you in my inbox i literally get this overjoyed feeling inside me like charity thought about me today?? took time out of her day to send me something?? i'm blessed. i hope you and your beautiful mind are thriving bestie because you're literally one of the nicest, softest, people i've met on here and i'm in your corner if you ever need me. to show you love and support. to continue to convince you that your themes will always be more superior than mine!!

@rae-gar-targaryen — if success and talent and beautiful prose (and face) was an olympic sport you would have won by now. you HAVE won. we may not talk as much as we used to but just know that i always am thinking about how you are, waiting patiently for you to bless us with more of your fics (even if it's a crumb i'm like a little mouse savoring it because hello?? emily henry who? she got nothing on you). as my lawyer i love knowing if i needed you you'd be there with a simple text, as my bestie, as someone i look up to, as someone who radiates elegance and something else i can't even put into words because that's literally how you leave me, speechless: never change and know i'm always here for you.

@allaboardthereadingrailroad, @littledemondani, @wroteclassicaly — the three of you were those 'big' accounts that always intimated me. i stood in the background reading your stuff and being like ok they're going to put me out of business and then being absolutely shook when you followed me, i felt like i made it. like this was what being on here was all about having the accounts you find the most talented and amazing, and who have wrote some of your fav fics, follow you. and we may not talk a lot but i cherish you guys so so very much. like even before i made this account, on my old accounts, i've always been your #1 fans!!

@kittyofalltrades, @namorwife, @yoditopascal — i may have all but died out and disappeared from the discord server, and we may not talk anymore, but some of my best memories are with you guys. the unhinged, the thirst, the games, the rantings, i've never been more entertained and chaotic and rowdy than i was with ya'll and i love it. i miss it. ya'll are still my favorite people, my loves, my besties. one day i will be horny over the same characters as ya'll again and you'll be annoyed with my thirst again.

@eupheme, @tripleyeeet, @wint3r-h3art, @ohcaptains, @celestianstars, @flordeamatista — if there were ever a group of beautiful people i constantly compare myself to because the way they write, the way their themes look, the way their fic layouts / set ups look, their graphics, their vibes, their talent, their so many damn things: it would be ya'll. like i'm constantly like how do i get on their level? like i know there's not levels on here and everyone is so uniquely special and amazing at what they write and do and make, but i'm always in the trenches of devoting and heart eyes over EVERYTHING ya'll post. ya'll are the cool art kids i want to hangout with but instead i'm screaming in cheer in the silent museum where your creations should be showcased.

@mothdruid, @moonlight-prose, @moondirti, @angrythingstarlight, @amywritesthings, @oncasette, @withahappyrefrain, @navybrat817, @bakerstreethound, @villenelle, @refined-by-fire, @ladylannisterxo, @emerald-chaos, @mxgyver, @foli-vora, @jettia, @moreofem, @bits-and-babs, @woodlandmouth, @fluffyprettykitty, @cocoamoonmalfoy, @galatially, @ladylannisterxo, @saintlike78, @buckys-estrella, @ghostlyfleur, @arctvrvs — through the two years of me being on here i have had the pleasure, the joy, of talking to each of you. whether that be screaming in asks, inboxs, discords, pms, where we were hyping each other up, sharing ideas, support, check ups, screaming over each others fics, whatever it may be. there has been love and support and every time i see ya'll in my notfis, reading my stuff, your thirst posts or rant posts or your rbs, i'm always grateful to see it. for it. to be a part of it. but most importantly i'm like: hello why are we not closer?? why do i not bombard them with my love?? annoy them with it so much so that they have no choice but to be my bestie and feel all the doormat love and support that i'm constantly feeling when i see their little icons and usernames. so this is me both saying i adore you, ily, we may not talk as much as i wished but i'm here supporting and loving everything you do and beware that i will annoy you with my love when you least expect it and soon you'll be wishing for me to get out of your pms. you have a friend in me, a supporter, a hyper, seriously i got lucky with y'all being my mutuals <3.

there's so many other babes that i'm missing but tumblr has a tag limit so i couldn't get everyone on this list but just know ily ily literally every single one of my mutuals is a gift from god to me. you put up with my posts and insanity, i have no choice but to give ya'll my whole ass heart!!!!

[my-castles-crumbling]

Greece anon here

Thank you for what you said about the eras tour rant I went on, it's really helped to calm some of my nerves.

Also good news! We didn't sell the tickets to strangers but to someone my mum works with and they will probably be able to grab the merch we want when they go to their show if we give them money for them so I probably won't have to worry about merch lines at all which is good. But if the lines are short when we go we might go anyway just to see what's left yk.

I have got the loop experience 2 earplugs because I saw a bunch of people recommending them but I'm really scared I'll be able to hear my voice really loudly in my head. I'll see when I get there whether the noise is bad enough to have to wear them.

It is almost only 10 days away and i am freaking out!!!! There is no way I am seeing Taylor swift in 10 days that's not real. She's literally my favourite person in the world and I'm going to see her in real life I am so EXCITED!!!!!!!!!

How did you organise your bracelets? I want to put the ones I get from other people on my wrists and keep the ones I've made separate but I just found out that wembley don't allow metal carabiners inside so I am trying to come up with a new way to hold them. My bag has a bunch of compartments (because I like to organise) so I might just have them loose in one of the big compartments lol

I'm going out with my friends on Wednesday (including the one I'm going to the eras tour with) and I'm going to be yapping about it so much they're going to be sick of me but I don't care because I'M GOING TO THE ERAS TOUR!!!!

I'm trying to get everything that I need to get done over summer break done before my show so after I can just lay and think "oh my god that was amazing I'm so sad it's over" but I tried to open the book I have to read yesterday and I just kind of stared at it for a while, not a lot of reading happened... But I opened it!!! And that counts as progress 😌

I'm so happy I'm actually going to the eras tour!

I got my tickets over a year ago (11th July 2023) and I have been waiting so patiently I can hardly control myself anymore. Like on the 16th August I am going to be AT THE ERAS TOUR!!!!! it's crazy I can't believe it. I watch a livestream of every single show (yes, every. Single. One. I know it's excessive but I just love it so much) and soon it will be MY show. I have seen it through over 100 grainy livestreams at like 2am and during classes and MY SHOW is so close I am so excited I could throw up, my stomach hurts if I think about it for too long.

This was long and it was mostly me rambling but once I get talking about it it's hard for me to stop so sorry but hey it could have been worse! How are you? I hope you're doing well, summer sucks sometimes cause of the heat but sometimes it's great, and I hope it's going great for you!

Hi!!! Ahhh, I'm so excited for you! You have to update me on how it goes, okay?

I organized my bracelets where I had my inappropriate ones on one arm and my g-rated ones on the other lol. Because I knew kids would be there. TBH my biggest regret of the show was that I didn't trade a lot though! I'm super socially awkward irl so I was scared to go up to people, so I only got a few trades done, so don't do what I did! Luckily when I went to the movie later on I was braver, but I still have like ten of my own bracelets left :(

I'm doing pretty good, my summer is going well! I can't wait to hear about how amazing your show is! <3

[ediewentmissing]

The sky seeping through your yellow curtains was ablaze with the fiery yellows, reds, and pinks of the setting sun. The pale, crescent moon was just starting to rise on the other side of the sky, and the crickets were humming outside gently, indicating that it was the end of yet another god-awful day.

Your bedroom was peaceful. The light on your bedside table was coating the walls in an orange-y tinge, making the flames on the candles scattered around your room seem less harsh and the band posters stuck to the walls illuminate. The box TV in the corner of your room was on, televising the latest hits on MTV, playing distantly in the background. The ceiling was low because your room happened to be in the attic of your house, and it made the uncleaned windows look much bigger, giving you the ideal view of the lake and woods outside, and the wallflower plants in your front yard.

Your best woolen socks were fitted snugly on your feet which were tucked under the blankets of your bed along with the rest of the lower half of your body. You twirled the phone cord around your finger, holding it up to your ear, smiling.

"I've got terrible news." You say sarcastically. A chuckle comes from the other end of the line.

"Sugarcoat it for me?"

"I'm not Willy Wonka."

Eddie's breathy laugh gives you shivers. It's so satisfying. Every time he laughs, it's as if a river of dopamine was making its way through your veins, all the way to your face, where it leaves a warm-hearted smile.

"So what is it? What's the terrible news?" He asks.

"You left your history textbook at my place last night." Eddie groans, faining sadness.

"Oh, what a shame. Whatever will I do? I guess I have to come over to your place again to go fetch it." You both know damn well that Eddie doesn't give two shits whether he has his history textbook or not, or any textbooks for that matter. And you also both know that he most certainly left it there on purpose so he could go see you again.

"I guess you will," You uncoil the phone cord from your finger, leaning back against the bed frame behind you, "I talked to Gareth today."

"You did? Where is he? Why wasn't he at school?" Eddie had been wondering about it all day. High school is brutal enough as it is, and it's ten (thousand) times worse when your best friend isn't there.

"Yeah. I called him. He knew you were going to be worried since you're such a big teddy bear an' all."

"Excuse me," He scoffs, "I'm not a teddy bear. I'm a big, scary monste-"

"Sure you are." He can practically hear your eye roll through the phone, "Gareth's jus' sick is all. He told me to remind you to 'Do your homework'."

"Oh, well tell Gareth I'm sorry because my textbook is in Y/N's bedroom." You can hear the rattling of tin from his end of the line. Just like his laugh, it's like a comfort noise at this point.

"I'm not telling him that."

"No? Why not?" He giggles. A hissing sound from a beer can being opened comes from his end, and then a light swallow of the liquor shortly after.

"You know he'll get the wrong idea. And God knows how insufferable school would be. It would be all the boys would talk about."

If Gareth, or any of the boys, were to find out, it probably wouldn't just stay in their friend circle either. It would get out to the whole school in a matter of hours. It wouldn't surprise you if it ended up on the headline of the school paper, because nobody expects the town misfit to ever be in a relationship that lasts longer than a "Hideout hookup".

"Pity." He sounded unphased, almost like he wouldn't care if your connection with one another went public, which gave you a lump in your throat. It's not that you didn't want people to know about you both. It was that Eddie would get tormented over it for ages, probably even after he finishes high school. You were the most wanted girl in Hawkins, drawn with Nancy, of course. So if it's revealed that the freak somehow managed to achieve everyone's dream of dating you, it would wreak havoc and nothing short of it.

He's disgusting!

Why does she like him?

A satanic worshipper? What's got into her?

He must've paid her or something.

You could just hear the comments that would be said.

"Uh-Uhm," You stutter, and Eddie picks up the change in your tone as you try to switch your mind's thoughts, "So, need help with the campaign for next week?" Eddie brushes off the question, seemingly concerned.

"Hey, you okay?" His worry makes your heart melt.

"Y-Yeah. I'm fine, Eds. Just tired, I guess."

"I call bull. C'mon, Y/N. Did I say something?"

"No, no. You didn't do anything." You were quick to make sure he wouldn't feel guilty. Whenever he did something wrong, he beat himself up for it for what felt like an eternity. Sometimes he'd shut off and close off any and all interactions with you just so he wouldn't disappoint you again.

"Are you sure?" He asks.

No, you weren't. You knew you'd have to bring it up with him at some point. You really did want to share your relationship with him aboveboard, but the risks that came with it were much too high and much too unavoidable. Eddie was bullied on a day-to-day basis, and adding to the affliction would be selfish of you.

Despite all of this, Eddie still wanted to be open to everyone. It made you worried.

"Actually..." You say, your smile fading just a bit more, "Eddie, we should talk."

Eddie immediately thought that you were going to break up with him over the phone. Was he being too affectionate? Not affectionate enough? Did he do something bad? Did you not like him anymore? He closed his eyes shut, preparing for the worst.

"I love you, you know that." You say, and he sighs deeply, opening his eyes again. Those words always put him at ease; 'I love you." He loved it more and more each time you said it. I was like Jesus himself was cleansing his ears.

"But I don't want people... want anyone else, to know about us." The phone was silent for a while. He was comprehending what you just said. Eddie had been looking forward - really looking forward - to introducing you to Wayne formally, telling his friends about you, and probably even swooning about you to the drunks at the Hideout.

"Why not?" The downcast in his voice stinged you.

"Y'know how bad things will be if people know? How much you'll get pushed around, an-and... And how much people will hate you?" Eddie saw the problem now. Crystal clear. You cared about him.

"Y/N, sweetheart. I don't care-"

"-But you should, Eddie!" He was startled by your sudden interjection, "Your life will be even more dejected than it is now! C'mon. Jason's goons will be after you. And the partygoers. And those stupid cashiers that hit on me at the store-" Your voice cracks and Eddie stops you.

"-But I don't. I don't care." His sincerity makes you want to cry to a greater extent. You don't get it. How could he not care? If everyone wanted you dead, you would care. You would care a lot.

Eddie could tell you were confused, "Wanna know why I don't care?" He asks rhetorically, "Because it's you. You are who I'd go through it all for. I don't care if- if Tommy wants to drive a- a stake through my guts or if Keith wants to stuff my carcass into the back of his shitty, old car. I don't care, Y/N, because I'll have you. You make everything bearable. And to be honest, I probably wouldn't even notice how mad everyone would be at me for dating you because you're all I can see and think about."

[rising-volteccers]

Whenever I see Friede get inconvenienced in the episodes, I can't pass up the chance to write something out of it. One of my close friends said that it's an endearing trait of mine to see an opportunity for h/c and jump on it, so here's a short, self indulgent piece post HZ030 haha!

Series: Pokemon Horizons

Characters: Friede, Murdock

--

After they've finished breakfast out on the deck, everyone pitched in to clean up the table. Diana, Liko and Roy carried used dishes while Mollie and Orla picked up other dishware before heading towards the kitchen. That left Friede and Murdock to do the heavy lifting by putting away the foldable table and chairs brought out from the meeting room.

When Friede bent down to pick up a couple of chairs, a strange wave of dizziness hit him. He just about prevented himself from falling over by reaching out to the nearest object for support. In this case, Murdock bit back a yelp from the abrupt hand that clasped his shoulder.

“H-Hey! I was carrying–oh, are you alright?” When Murdock looked over his shoulder, he found Friede with his other hand on the table, head dipped while he took in deep, steadying breaths.

“Yeah, ‘m fine,” Friede eventually responded. Once the dizziness passed, he pulled away from Murdock, blinking rapidly until his friend’s worried visage came into view. Friede automatically wore an assuring smile. “Sorry, guess I moved too quickly.”

“Are you sure about that? I can handle things if you need to sit down.”

“Pretty sure! It was just a one time thing. Now come on, let's not keep the others waiting! There's a mountain of stuff to clean up, yeah?”

Friede once again reached for the chairs, though this time he made sure to move a little more carefully. Aside from feeling oddly tired, he didn't get any other dizzy spells throughout the walk towards the kitchen.

Afterwards, he could tell that Murdock kept a subtle eye on him by giving him lighter tasks. As that strange fatigue persisted, Friede didn't object to the lessened workload. It already took effort to act normally around the rest of the crew until they were done.

While everyone else left the kitchen to go about their day, Friede hung back until it was just him and Murdock left. Only then did he plop down onto a chair, legs splayed with his head resting atop folded arms.

For the next ten or so minutes, Murdock focused on drying up the washed dishes so he could store them away. He didn’t start up a conversation with Friede, opting to give his friend some time to rest. Perhaps then he’d share how he truly felt. Once he put away the tableware, Murdock went to the table and took a seat on the empty chair next to Friede’s.

“Are you sure you're alright? You look wiped and it's only after breakfast,” Murdock questioned, breaking the silence that had settled in the kitchen. That concerned look made an appearance again on his face.

Friede turned his head till his half lidded eyes met Murdock's. “Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm fine. Don't know why I got really tired all of a sudden.”

“Think it's a sign that you're getting sick?” If that was the case, Murdock would have to bring out the recipe for his soups that he’d make whenever one of them felt unwell. 

“No, at least I don’t think so. I don’t feel sick or anything. Just tired,” Friede replied, eyes sliding shut. “Which is weird cause I got enough sleep last night. Had a nice breakfast too so that should’ve energized me. Instead it feels like my energy got sapped.”

“Huh, that is weird.” Murdock crossed his arms as he tried to figure out what other reason led to his friend’s strange lethargy. Since Friede wasn’t on night shift yesterday, Murdock more or less trusted that he spoke the truth about getting enough sleep. He was also right in that eating the hearty breakfast prepared should have given him the energy to go about his day, not drain it.

What was different about today? Everyone ate together on the deck, though half the Pokemon didn’t really touch their food because they were asleep–

Wait, that’s it!

“You drank out of that Sinistea earlier.”

“Yeah? Nastiest thing I’ve tasted–oh. Oh.” Friede suddenly groaned out loud, burying his face into his arms again. Murdock can’t quite catch his grumblings but he was certain it involved his misgivings towards the Sinistea.

“You can’t really blame the little one. From how Diana put it, that Sinistea was just recently born. It didn’t know any better.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know.” Friede once again turned his head to look at Murdock, sporting quite the miserable expression now that the mystery had been solved. People who accidentally ingested Sinistea not only got their tastebuds ruined, they also get their vitality sapped away. Seeing that the Sinistea was recently born and he almost immediately spat out the liquid, it didn’t really get into his body. Still, he probably accidentally swallowed some in his surprise, triggering its effects however delayed it was.

“At least we know the cause. I’m guessing what you need now is plenty of rest to replenish the energy?”

“Yeah. I already did plenty of that before…” Friede recalled the previous week of being laid out for a few days due to his bruised back. It dampened his mood to know that he’d have to rest some more in order to recover. He really felt like the universe was out for him with how the past couple of weeks went. 

“It’s only until you’ve got your energy back.” Murdock did look sympathetic. He knew all too well how Friede got when he was forced to slow down and rest for long periods of time. “How about you go back to your room and see about getting some sleep? Maybe you’ll feel better after a nap.”

Friede groaned once more but eventually, he did push himself into sitting up again. Running a hand down his face, his eyes flicker to Murdock. 

“You got things handled?”

“Yeah, you can trust me. Get some rest. I’ll wake you up for lunch later.”

Murdock reached out to offer a hand for Friede to take when he stood up. He didn’t look dizzied from the action so Murdock trusted him to make it safely back to his room. Once Friede left the kitchen, Murdock headed towards the fridge to pull out some ingredients. Perhaps a hearty stew was just what Friede needed to boost his energy later…

[nokaru]

Friend! Do you have any songs that remind you of Umihebi and/or Torou, together or individually??

Oh my darling you have no idea...sorry this took so long I got tired ahhh

I made this playlist ages ago, it's still in my drafts here too - never got around to actually posting it BUT it's here! I dub thee UmiTorou playlist: toxic gfs commiting crimes

I'll go about this the same way I would with other playlist posts so here are selected few with some commentary and lyrics ^^ putting it under read more

girl in red - You Stupid Bitch

Don't bite your lip or grit your teeth Just count to ten and try to breathe You stupid bitch, can't you see The perfect one for you is me?

need i say more? this is so UmiTorou. I see this song from Torou's pov, trying to chat up Umihebi after there was something between them already. (bonus points for girl in red and the beat)

Beabadoobee - The Perfect Pair

You ought to know that I think we're one and the same I don't think we could help it No, I don't think we could help it We don't talk much Guess 'cause nothing has changed And I'm not sure I like it And I'm so tired of fighting

perfect pair they sure are, also Beadadoobee's voice is giving UmiTorou if they were lo-fi. Something about being obviously bad for each other but also so so perfect for this one person only.

AURORA - Cure For Me

I run from the liars, the fuel on the fire I know I created myself I know I can't fight the sad days and bad nights But I never asked for your help

You got hurt No, we don't belong together So you took the love from my arms Into the arms of yours But I don't need a cure for me I don't need it

This one reminds me more of Umihebi and Torou individually (but also as a couple) - esp the "I created myself" line. I love evil women and implications they are the way they are because of nobody than themselves. No man involved for backstory, I am who I am because I chose this kinda deal.

The Brobecks - Visitation of the Ghost

You think that I don't know your game A pretty, pretty, pretty little face Despite every book and every little kiss you took She'll take your place

Umihebi to Torou, while they still danced around each other like they are not obsessed with each other sigh.

CRAWLERS - Come Over (again)

Take her name out of your mouth You don't deserve to mourn You just love the attention Or do you get bored? You like the power you have Hope you get caught in the law Do you think that you're happy? Just wait 'til you're sure

This is actually one of my Umihebi character songs cause it fits perfectly with my OCs and their relatioship with Umi + Umi origins. Basically Umihebi getting kicked around for her arrogant behaviour part 1

Mitski - A Pearl

You're growing tired of me You love me so hard and I still can't sleep You're growing tired of me And all the things I don't talk about Sorry, I don't want your touch It's not that I don't want you Sorry, I can't take your touch It's just that I fell in love with a war Nobody told me it ended And it left a pearl in my head And I roll it around every night Just to watch it glow Every night, baby, that's where I go

UmiTorou rocky relatioship 0.2, they are both complicated people (one more than the other) and they just CAN'T talk about it. Over their dead bodies.

The Dresden Dolls - My Alcoholic Friends

I'm trying hard Not to be ashamed Not to know the name Of who is waking up beside me Or the date, the season or the city But at least the ceiling's very pretty Should I choose a noble occupation? If I did I'd only show up late and sick And they would stare at me with hatred Plus my only natural talent's wasted on my alcoholic friends

Torou song right there!! Yes, maybe a bit cheesy but just listen to it...its so Torou and Obi coded. While Obi might have chosen the noble occupation, Torou (mind you not inherently evil) can't see herself as anything else than what she is now. She won't let go of her current life, just the thought of losing the freedom of it makes her sick.

Epic the Musical - My Goodbye

You are reckless Sentimental at best That's not a teaching of mine You've grown soft Your dead friends can attest Put your emotions aside You're a warrior Meant to lead the rest I don't know where I went wrong But I warned you And you failed the test

Umihebi getting kicked around by my OC for development part 2 (after getting arrested !!gone physical!! :0)

Chappell Roan - Pink Pony Club

I'm having wicked dreams of leaving Tennessee Hear Santa Monica, I swear it's calling me Won't make my mama proud, it's gonna cause a scene She sees her baby girl, I know she's gonna scream God, what have you done?

this became crazy Umihebi centric so this one is purely Torou song. I mean Chappell was made for her come on now...why Pink Pony Club? It's the vibes + my wife iilfal's fanfic about Torou's backstory (tho only vaguely). Also the line "I'm gonna keep on dancing" is so Torou and her lay-back personality. She would be the bomb in any club.

[lostonehero]

Potential time travel to YouTube au

Note that this takes place right after Micheal's livestream rants, and Henry is trying to find him to comfort him

Henry's lungs burned as he ran from Michael's apartment, his body protested as he ran through the streets as the storm started. "Micheal! Micheal please it's ok, I I didn't know." He doesn't realize it's easier to breathe and his body isn't aching at the exercise

The rain comes down harder as lightening flashes in the sky and a crash of thunder screams through the air.

He shouts. "Micheal please, Micheal." He is soaked to the bone as he runs into a alleyway he doesn't notice how things look different like the old has become new

A small child maybe nine or ten wearing clothes too big for his small frame is curled up by a dumpster

Henry freezes those are the clothes Micheal was wearing, but this child is too small and alive to be him. He scoops the child up. Two blue eyes state up at him, and he freezes again, his breath caught in his throat. "Michael?"

Micheal is clinging to Henry as Henry numbly walks home. His car isn't where he parked it.

He's soaked to the bone when he goes home, and so is Micheal, who looks like a drowned rat. He doesn't notice the drawing from his daughter or his wife in the kitchen.

(They divorced only a few months after Charlie was killed They couldn't stand each other because everything just was too much They reconnected later on amd became friends Henry helped her through chemo later on in life and she remarried and had a family and he supported her, her new kids call him uncle)

"Henry? I've been worried sick. I've been waiting for hours. William said you were on your way home before the storm started, and he left before you. I called his home and he said you weren't there." Margret steps back at Henry's condition, and there's a child clinging to him. "Henry? Henry, what did you do?"

Henry frowns. "I didn't know you were visiting this week, Margaret. I thought the grandkids had that school thing you were excited about." It doesn't even click that his home is the way it was before. "Can you help get a warm bath started, I know the bathroom is a mess. I'm in the middle of redoing it."

Margaret rushes over. "Henry, what has gotten into you? You're soaked to the bone. Are you drunk?"

"I haven't touched that stuff in ages. You know that I'm sober." He puts Micheal down as he grabs a towel from the hall closet and straps the boy of his wet clothes, and puts him in a towel. "Huh, this old thing looks brand new."

Margaret recognizes the boy. "You took William's son? Henry, what nonsense are you talking about? You kidnapped a child!"

Henry furrows his brows, finally looking at Margaret. "Kidnapped? Wait.... Margaret, why do you look so young, and your hair is long? You haven't had it that long since before....."

Micheal shivers, holding the towel around him like a blanket. He points to the calendar in the hall.

Henry pushes past Margaret and stares at the calendar. His face grows pale as his face morphs into a look of horror. "Margaret, we need to talk."

"Damn right, Henry, you're drunk and kidnapped your partner kid off the street in the rain. What the hell were you thinking?"

Micheal pulls the towel around him. "Uncle Henry, I don't think I want Father to find me again."

Margaret sits at the kitchen table as Henry helps Micheal tie off the shirt and underwear he has to borrow. "Kid, you're as skinny as before."

Micheal shrugs, enjoying the glass of milk he has.

"Margaret, you have to understand... this will be a lot." Henry frowns.

"You better be convincing Henry Emily, or I will be calling the cops."

Micheal finishes his glass. "I can't remember the last time I've drank something. Did it always feel like that? Hi Miss Margaret again, sorry I didn't say something before." He sits up straight, and his facial expression betrays the age he's supposed to be. "I apologize, but uh, we aren't supposed to be here, I mean, yeah, we are, but also not." He pauses, kicking his feet. "I can't believe I was this small before.... "

"Micheal...." Henry sighs.

"Right right, sorry, I've got the knowledge about this... uh, right, so... wait, I can't use that comparison. Uh, so for us, our minds, at least not our bodies, obviously, actually thankfully I'm not like I was or will be.."

Henry smiles and looks at Margaret.

Margaret looks a bit pensive like she is starting to realize that isn't a child mind in that body.

"It's uh our minds are from our body in the year 2023... yeah, yeah, I know, like 40 something years from now.... but it's true I can prove it, I have like three degrees unofficially and never did get the chance to go to college before I was scooped.... right, I am also an expert at stitching any material, and I bet I can build something better than William if I so desired. Granted, I'm more of an artist than him. I painted the walls of my apartment... wait, I don't have that film over my vision anymore."

Henry sighs. "Micheal I think that's enough. Margaret we've been divorced for awhile from where I'm at in life. It happened after... after... oh she's here."

Micheal frowns. "Oh.... " He hops down from his chair. "I'll uh be in the guest room..."

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw: sa (csa?), coercive control, physical and verbal abuse, brief mentions of suicide/self-harm/ED

seeking support, validation, advice

Ten years ago, when I was 14, I was forced into a relationship with a boy I went to high school with. He was very mature for his age and i was very naive, and at the time I was left homeless due to my abusive father, possibly had an eating disorder; and I feel like he completely exploited my situation.

Over the span of six months sexual interactions were very frequent. He would force himself onto me and get violent and verbally abusive if I didn’t respond the way he wanted me to. He would hurt me and I would be too afraid to ask him to stop. I didn’t even know what consent was at the time; i was so afraid and I was completely frozen and always felt sick. I have so many gaps in memory too which I hate.

I wasn’t allowed to have friends and I was forbidden to go out anywhere. He admitted to wanting me to be jealous of him, as well as telling me how jealous i make him feel. He would embarrass me in public and trivialise everything I did. It became easier to just stop liking things.

He verbally and physically abused me multiple times, go through EVERYTHING on my phone, controlled what I wore, isolated me from everyone. Everything I did was always wrong. I had nowhere to go, no one to be with except for him. I had no control over my life. I became suicidal and started self harming which seemed to give him pleasure.

People around me just seemed to ignore everything, no one protected me or questioned anything he did.

He then broke up with me saying “You’re holding me back from my life” and that I “emotionally abused” him. So for years I felt like I was a really awful person. He then started dating one of my friends that he isolated me from as she was “not a nice person”. So this just added another layer of confusion and isolation.

For 10 years I’ve been struggling with unending anxiety, depression, guilt, nightmares, irritability, hypervigilance, social withdrawal, etc. He completely stripped me of all identity, i was nothing for so many years afterwards. He destroyed every friendship I had. And I only recently started to make progress on having confidence and identity as an individual and also accepting that he raped and abused me… but then all of a sudden he started following my mother and my old childhood best friend on Instagram - he also tried following my inactive, private account there too. I felt like my entire being was under threat again. I felt so ill. Just the entitlement he still feels he has over my life… even after all these years?? seriously?!

And I honestly don’t think he will ever understand what he actually did to me. Anytime I try to speak up against him people always defend him as if I’m just being bitter. Why would people choose him over me?

I feel more affected now than i did 10 years ago, and having him still lurking around makes me feel so unsafe and violated. I don’t know what he wants from me??

It just confuses me because we were pretty much the same age so I don’t feel valid in accepting it was csa. And also being so young and in a physically abusive relationship just seems so strange.

I have no one to talk to about this situation, i have no support network, and everyone likes him. ~ This is my first time speaking as I am so tired of being silent. I’m just so confused.

~ Rocky 🎀

Hi Rocky 🎀,

First of all thank you for sharing your story. It takes a lot of bravery and strength to come forward, and please know that we believe and support you.

I'm so sorry about what you've been through. It sounds like your abuser was controlling and manipulative, and I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of that. Please know you're not alone. I was in a remarkably similar situation.

It honestly doesn't matter whether or not he remembers what he did because it doesn't change the fact that he still did it, you know? Also I'm really sorry to hear that people have been defending him. Unfortunately there will always be people like this, but that also means that they aren't necessarily on the right side of things. You know the truth better than them.

If you can, blocking him and encouraging your friends and family to do so as well might help, but definitely keep an eye out and consider documenting anything he tries to do to you.

Please know that age gaps are not the only ways that abusers take advantage of their victims. Other factors can definitely play a part as well, such as gender, cultural or religious beliefs, language barriers, immigration status, substance abuse, physical disabilities, intellectual disabilities, economic dependence, geographical isolation, and a lack of a social support network.

I hope I could help. If anyone has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[mistwraiths]

4 stars

People had to wait a WHOLE YEAR for the next one. Wild.

So, overall, I did enjoy this book for the most part.

I both love Evangeline and want to bonk her on her empty head because girl is literally SO DUMB and gullible. She loves love. She wants a happy ever after. Like girl be serious please but maybe I'm just a cynical, jaded person. She is ENTIRELY too trusting and too forgiving, and it feels unfortunately that she's a little TOO passive in her story. Things are happening mostly TO her and she's reacting. She's really not doing a whole lot. Sorry, she's in a library for ten days I guess reading books.

The main things in this book are Apollo and her getting cursed, the stones, learning some information, and opening the Valory Arch. That's it. Stephanie, you say, that sounds like a lot! It's not though! Home girl literally finds the arch BY HAPPENSTANCE LOL. She's like oh I'm not going to open the arch!!! And then starts smearing her blood on the first fucking thing she finds and SURPRISE it's the arch. But it doesn't open without the stones. That's however the way the story kind of works though. She writes a whole damn letter telling herself not to trust Jacks and promptly forgets about it. She randomly comes across the stones by going "oh surely they will be at this party!" or shocker, the place they stay at has it.

For a girl getting HUNTED, there's surprisingly little of it. In fact, she spends the majority getting wounded. Apollo harms her. She gets harmed by Apollo getting harmed too. And then within less than 10-20 pages, Jacks is hurt too. I love a hurt/comfort moment but there's a lot in a short time. Also, I kind of got tired of Evangeline constantly being in pretty dresses. Like you're being HUNTED, maybe actual shoes? Some pants for better movement?

I was surprised by LaLa cursing Evangeline. But Jacks identity and Chaos' identity, and what was in Valor Arch, and the monster, I was able to guess. It all seemed kind of obvious.

Look, I love Jacks and I'm rooting for him and Evangeline. I love the idea of maybe growing into a true love or you can have multiple true loves, or a second chance, or other different possibilities of maybe you don't get your true love but you find a love that is true to you at a certain time and place. I'm much more eloquent on this subject when I'm not sick. But I don't think Stephanie Garber really delves anywhere into this deep enough or maybe she just doesn't have anything to say really about it. But I find it so fucking annoying about the Donatella part being his true love. Again, I could get behind true love rejecting him. But the fact that she DID get affected and then just didn't die just doesn't sit right with me. I don't think it was done well and it leaves me annoyed about it when it's brought up.

This book brings up a lot of things over and over that we already know about. Jacks and his true love, his fatal kiss, his being a Fate and not human is constantly stuffed down our throat. Other things constantly being repeated. Trust your readers in that we remember shit. Also Luc was so annoying in this book why is he even here still in this story?

I was going to be SO ANNOYED if Jacks really did go back to Donatella. But the fact that Evangeline DIED was hysterical and a shock. And then it continued on. Jacks used the stones. Apollo becoming a sudden villain was honestly so fucking out of left field??? It felt BIZARRE. Also, the ending left me with some questions. If the helm was likely put on to control him and they couldn't control him, why after all this time does Honora just take it off?? Why didn't he eat his family if he's so out of control?? Also, where did the power of memories come from from Apollo? I know there was a Valor with memories but like... is Apollo Arcadian or a Valor?

I'm interested to read the next but like what even. This is like the most frightening, controlling, near domestic violence type of thing. I'm curious to see how long it'll last and how she acts/how she feels/what happens next.

[rainypebble07]

i hope you're feeling better now but i just saw your post from the other day and i sure do have Things to put in your askbox so

hello hi tell me about your writing process ! and i mean literally any part of it, literally any Thing, i'm just kind of curious because i really love what you write and my wips generally stay unfinished no matter how much i like the idea so i'm also kinda just curious how you manage to Get It Done yk?

no pressure at all i was just wondering

(Dude, I wrote too much. Sorry. i love to speak. I was excited I got an ask)

Hi! Yes! I'm feeling a little better now, still kinda sick, but so it goes. And that's so sweet of you! I'm glad you like my writing!

Writing Process? Oh boy, this is gonna be so disappointing. Most of the stories I've written come to me at random moments and over the course of a few days I'll make up this weird elaborate plot in my head until I get to the point where I'm like 'ok, this need to be a fic'.

I usually use two documents while writing something. I've got a layout (that's where I pull the crazy planning posts from) and the actual story(where I get the out-of-context stuff). I write down everything I want to happen in the layout document and add as much to it as I see fit (this can include really anything from specific conversations I want to really generic plot points) as well as block out chapters and after I'm finished with that, it usually just looks like a weirdly formatted poem or something. I never use spellcheck or anything on that either and I use such casual language, so it always looks like something I wrote while blackout drunk, but I love it nonetheless. Here's the first chapter of "Mike Wheeler's Ultimate Guide to the Undead"'s outline for example:

As you can see, it's a mess, but I love it. And somehow I got the first chapter out of this.

The point of that is pretty much it's an outline, but it's also kind of fun since it's so casual, so I've found it helps to motivate me to write new parts of the story bc I'm engaged by the strange wording I use on the outline. I also use this doc for title planning and other stuff I have to figure out beforehand. For example, I wrote the poem in Shady Business on an outline doc.

I then transfer this over to the story doc in an actual storytelling format. Most of my writing comes out of absolutely nowhere and idk what to say about it. I'll word-vomit for about ten minutes and get a page, look at it, and go 'oh hey, why isn't that horrible?'. I'm also super conversational in my writing, which helps it flow better. I always thought that made my writing hard to read, but a lot of people have actually said they like my writing style so I guess it's not that bad! I just treat it as if I'm telling the story over a cup of coffee. As for representing the character well (because they are real characters), I just try to get into their mindset as much as possible. I don't really have any specific way I do that, though. I recently had to create a fake "Am I the Asshole" post for Mike so I could try to understand his feelings on something better within myself (made it on the outline doc!).

After the initial word vomit of a chapter, I'll go back and read it over, adding or taking away what I see fit and fixing initial spelling mistakes and making sure it reads well. I don't have a beta reader (I wish I did), so I've gotta just assume it's readable and go with it. After the initial fixes, I'll read it over again just to make sure. I only fix all the spelling mistakes by the time I go to publish because I use Grammarly on the Ao3 post thing lol. By that point, it's only like 4 mistakes left anyway (and the stuff Grammarly says is incorrect but I don't care bc it sounds good and I can do what I want).

I also highlight my little outline as I go (usually in green bc byler brainrot, you can see it in the image) and it helps me visualize my progress and keep going!

But, yeah. That's pretty much the entire process and I have no better explanation than it's simply a dumpster fire of improv and weird pieces of moment I have glued together in my brain. It's arts and crafts, at the best, but somehow I pull it together and create a story!

As for motivation, most of it's four things. One, the anticipation of writing scenes I really want to. Two, telling myself I'm gonna get fun comments and reading old comments (I thrive off of positive feedback from poeple). Three, a specialized playlist for the fic. I make playlists for my stories with songs I like that fit the overall vibe and sometimes I get inspiration from them and it gives me new ideas. And four, probably the most important, I just really like writing. It's my favorite things ever to just put words on a page and make a story out of it. It's so fun and so cool and so magical and I love it.

And that's about it. The end. That's my writing process. It doesn't really make much sense, but I guess it works, so it works for me! If you're looking to improve your own completion rate, I mean, maybe try some of it, but it's really a personal preference. You've gotta do tril and error. And I've really gotta work on slowing down anyway because I can totally rush writing a fic and end up making it a lot less than it could have been if I took more time. And If you're not feeling motivated to write, don't force it. Seriously. Things like I suggested totally help me keep up with it, but what I hate more than anything is stuff I wrote when I didn't want to write. It's just... uninspired.

Okay! Thank you so much for asking that! Hopefully this long rant of nonsense (omg like my writing) answered your question! Sorry I wrote an essay!

[juicywritinghoard]

prompts to shake things up

I didn't know you wore glasses and I'm thinking normal and platonic thoughts about you right now I swear

I'm going to take over the world and no one can stop me not even y- okay well if you ask nicely I guess

you say childish like it's a bad thing but I see you eyeing that life size Pokémon plush don't kid yourself 

be honest are you crying about the commercial with the kitten in it

this marriage was supposed to be a scam but, but listen,

soooo *twirling hair and fluttering eyelashes* why does everyone think you're a freak

I know I'm your doctor and the horns growing in overnight was kind of a surprise but why do you want them removed those are sick as hell

babe. my love. song in my heart. are you purring 

okay so if you want me to rescue you from up there you have to try to come with me--okay I guess I'm picking you up

I have never been this sick before I'm sorry did I, haha this is so weird, but did I confess my love for you? f- four times? yeah? haha oh

every time you taste my cooking you just say it's amazing does it need more salt or not I swan to John

oh it's nothing it's just. you sing when you're happy and the place has been so quiet for so long, and I heard you- nevermind,

you frost cookies like you're neither left or right handed but a third other hand that you don't actually possess and I can't stand it (affectionate)

I don't think you understand how much your good morning texts legitimately keep me from rotting in bed all day 

you must be pretty down if me juggling your oranges doesn't even get a laugh out of you :( should I light them on fire? 

no I see the super powers yeah I just, I'm not sure you got them from your medication, yeah, and would you say that's a negative side effect or

you bought me a SWORD? OH MAN IM GONNA BE SO DANGEROUS 

ooh what's this potion do? coffee? that's a funny name. what happens if I press this button? humans are so fascinating this is the best I hope I never go home

you've been blinking SOS in Morse code at me for ten minutes honey this award ceremony is supposed to be honoring you 

when we kiss I feel like I'm floating, like literally gravity stopped working on me please don't let go?? also another kiss wouldn't hurt just saying 

so it was YOU who took a full bite out of that stick of butter!! please. please. why??

let's go on vacation somewhere cheesy and act like we're a couple wouldn't that be sooooo funny haha

okay so sleeping it off didn't work. let me consult my list. hypnotism, no. meditation, certainly not. well something has to work because I simply cannot be in love with them

I'm a spy. i can do unspeakable crimes under the morally bankrupt cover of night but I'm not sure I can pretend to look at real estate as a couple with you 

my love is your arm stuck in the claw machine. you were going to steal that prize for me?? oh my gosh. let me rescue you and also show you how to actually do this

[vamossainz55]

Moonlight Ch. 4 | Carlos Sainz Jr. x Reader

hey guys! this is long overdue i know but here is chapter 4. if i'm fully honest i am not too proud of this one, i feel like something's a bit off in the writing? (i cant tell what though). i tried fixing it a few times but im not too sure how to either. i promise the next few chapters will be better. a lot is going on and there's a lot of development so i hope you enjoy <33 (its also a bit longer than usual). anyways superproud of carlos' race yesterday bc the ferrari was not giving and happy to see him in the podium again as always constructive criticism is always appreciated <3

warnings: maybe swearing and alcohol consumption? that's about it.

enjoy! <3

read chapter 3 here

Chapter Four (5.3k words)

Whatever little hope you had of you and Carlos peacefully coexisting dwindled down the moment he had left you in the room. It was embarrassing but the moment you stepped out you had rushed to the bathroom, feeling a weird twisting feeling pulling at your chest. 

You had locked the door behind you as soon as you entered the bathroom stall, sitting on the closed toilet lid as you tried to take a deep breath. Get it together. You think to yourself, slowly wiping at your cheeks when you feel them get wet. 

You didn’t know what you had expected from that conversation but it definitely wasn’t what had unfolded. A part of you knew Carlos was right, you could’ve reached out to him, but a part of you was also angry. 

The words you had told him keep ringing in your ears, and yeah it was true. You weren’t friends. But seeing the way Carlos’ demeanor changed had you feeling sick. 

Carlos does take your words seriously though because the next few days it’s clear that he’s trying to drive you insane. It’s petty little things, like taking the seat you were sitting in and making you move, closing the elevator door on you, or even giving you the wrong time for meetings or confusing information. 

The first few times are fine but you feel anger and annoyance begin to bubble inside of you and you find your own way of retaliation. You mess up with his papers, hand him the wrong specs, tell him the wrong meeting room. Anything you could think of really. 

It’s petty and you feel like you’re ten again but you can’t deny the little feeling of satisfaction whenever you get back at him. It’s amazing how you both manage to sabotage one another to the point where you’re both at wit's ends but still manage to successfully work. 

It had been a week or two since you and Carlos had started to mess with each other and you’re rushing to your last meeting of the week, only having noticed that you had it since Carlos had scheduled you in only three minutes beforehand, but you’re used to it really, only apologizing to Tom when you enter the room. 

You pause for a bit when you realize it‘s only you three there but you find time to discreetly give Carlos an annoyed look before you're sitting with them at the table.

“Sorry- I hate to be the person to add a late meeting on a Friday but I actually wanted to run some things with Carlos and thought you could help with the notes?” Tom asks and you can’t help but hold back a sigh. 

“Yeah, of course.” You say, pulling up your laptop before Tom pulls up some data on his own to show Carlos. The first few minutes pass by quickly but soon enough you’re closely listening to their discussion, frowning when you hear Tom disagree with Carlos’ point on the break. You don’t mean to talk but before you know it you’re butting in. 

“I think Carlos is right on this one.” You say quietly and they both give you a look. You chew the inside of your cheek before you’re pulling some of your own papers, pointing to some numbers. Carlos is quiet, a puzzled look flashing on his face but you just simply shrug at him when Tom looks over the data. Work is work and you weren’t going to sabotage that for him. 

It becomes a thing when Tom starts inviting you to join most of his one on ones with Carlos and it is never discussed but the dynamic slightly shifts. Sure there were still some comments here and there but overall things with Carlos do get better. You even share a smile or two with him when Tom seems to make a mistake, but getting along with Carlos was still reserved for only those moments. 

Reality always slapped you in the face whenever both of you would randomly revert into snarky remarks whenever you weren’t discussing a track, statistics, and the car. Silence was the worst though, and it mainly happened whenever you both arrived first to the room, deciding to sit as far as possible and fiddle on your phones until Tom would arrive, unknowingly breaking the tension. 

You had just finished a two hour meeting with Tom, Carlos, and Peter, one of the other engineers in the team when you feel your stomach churn, feeling hungrier than usual especially since you had overslept and missed breakfast. Tom is already rushing to another meeting, quickly saying bye to you all and you take your time to get up.

“Wanna grab lunch?” Carlos asks and you look up a bit surprised. You’re about to answer when you realize he isn’t directing his question to you. He gives you a tight lipped smile before turning to Peter and his back is slightly facing you as a clear sign of no you’re not invited and you can’t help but sigh when Peter easily agrees before grabbing his things and getting up. Carlos doesn’t spare much of a look towards your direction before he’s heading off with him and you feel a slight prickle at your chest. 

The past few weeks had been tough as you hadn’t managed to connect with many people in the company. Sure you had a chat with some here and there but it was difficult to connect with many of them as everyone was so busy and they only talked about work really. You were also one of the younger ones and although you were getting more and more involved you still felt like most of them didn’t take you seriously (the price of being an intern really). 

You take this moment to check your watch, deciding to grab some lunch anyways as you were feeling quite hungry and you didn’t wanna let your stomach complain further. You head to the cafeteria, smiling and giving some people that you knew a small wave.

The menu in the cafeteria has your stomach growling louder. One of the best things of working in a lucrative Formula One team is that they did in fact know how to treat their employees. There was always a wide variety of options of food, from meat, to gluten-free, carb free and even vegan. The options were limitless and you always ended up wandering a bit too much around the cafeteria as you tried to figure out what you were gonna use as fuel for the day. 

“Heard the salmon and rice is good,” You hear someone say and you curiously turn around to find Lando holding his own tray of food that looks suspiciously like the pizza that was offered at the corner of the cafeteria. 

“Aren’t you supposed to have your own food?” You ask curiously, remembering how Carlos had complained to another colleague that he couldn’t always just pick at something in the cafeteria. And yeah, you realize that this was probably not the best opening introduction to a new and upcoming Formula One driver but what was done was done. 

Lando simply snorts and rolls his eyes. “As long as you don’t tell anyone it’s fine.” He says, giving you a shrug before continuing to watch you. It takes you a minute to realize that he’s staring because he’s waiting, and you sheepishly grab the salmon and rice. 

“Per-fect, let’s go.” He says before turning to go sit at one of the tables. You follow him, still a bit confused at how you got yourself into this situation, but having lunch with Lando wasn’t going to hurt. 

“I’m y/n by the way, not sure if you remember?” You say once you’re both seated. Lando is already picking up his pizza and taking a hefty bite, nodding as he chews and covers his mouth. You take this moment to grab a spoonful of your food. 

“Yeah yeah, I remember. I'm Lando,” He says and you can’t help but roll your eyes at that with a smile on your lips. He gives you a confused look, raising his eyebrows at you as he takes a sip of his water. 

“I mean, I just found it funny that you felt the need to introduce yourself. I know you’re Lando.” You say and Lando gives you a nonchalant shrug as he puts his cup down. 

“Fair, but I mean I knew you were y/n already. You and Carlos know eachother” He says before taking another bite of his pizza. You have to set your spoon back down to look at him, not entirely sure if you had heard him right. For a second you wondered how much Carlos had told Lando.

You shift a bit in your seat and look around the cafeteria, soon spotting Carlos sitting at the table with Peter and he is looking at you both. He doesn’t even look away when your eyes meet and you’re the one that needs to crack as Lando clears his throat to catch your attention. 

“I just wanted to properly talk with you since it was in passing last time. I think we are one of the youngest ones here.” He says with a shrug, “But also I want to let you know whatever issue you have with Carlos, I don’t care.” He says with a shrug before smiling. “So if you need anything please don’t hesitate to reach out to me.” It sounds sincere and you can’t help but smile small at him, a bit embarrassed that he felt like he needed to make it clear.

“Thanks, it’s really not that deep. It’s fine.” You say to Lando reassuringly although you’re quite touched by the gesture. You had noticed that Carlos had been very proactive to know everyone no matter what department they were from, always happy to talk about the car, the development, and strategy. On the other hand Carlos barely ever gave you the light of day. It’s not like you could blame him really, the boundaries were clear when you had started. Even though you knew this it still sucked a bit to see everyone connecting with him whilst you both had to be forced to interact. 

“How much do you know?” You ask curiously, collecting more food with your sooon. 

“Just enough I guess.” Lando says and you bite back your tongue to not ask him for more information. “Although if we are friends you need to do me a favour.” Lando says, leaning closer to make sure you hear him. “You might have to sneak me a snack or two.” He murmurs. You feel Carlos’ eyes burning into you both but it doesn't faze you. You simply grin and nod. 

“Deal.” You agree, giving his hand a shake to seal it. 

____________________

Lando apparently did take the offer of being friends seriously because the next time he sees you in the cafeteria he invites you to join. It would’ve been a lot nicer if he wasn’t sitting next to a very awkward looking Carlos who clearly did not want you to join the table. You try your best to pretend to not hear him but it becomes ten times harder when Lando just raises his voice asking, “Do you wanna join?” You give another go at ignoring him but you stop in your tracks when you hear him say your name. 

“Y/n? Come sit with us.” It’s extra loud this time, and it is far enough that a few people are looking in your direction before shifting their eyes to Lando and Carlos who were sitting at their reserved drivers table. You give Lando and Carlos a smile before nodding and heading to their table, letting out a breath once everyone looks away. 

“If you didn’t wanna join you could’ve just said so,” Carlos says, taking a sip of his coffee and you roll your eyes. 

“You could’ve at least pretended to look like you wanted me here,” You snark back but Lando snaps his fingers to catch both of your attentions. 

“No arguing please/ We’re here for lunch.” He says. You set your tray down on the booth and look at them both. You think about sliding next to Lando but you see him sitting right at the edge so before giving it a second thought you slide into the booth next to Carlos, legs brushing lightly as you settle in the seat. Carlos doesn’t have much of a choice, simply shifting a bit to give you more space. 

“How are you guys?” You ask to the table as a way to ease the tension radiating off of Carlos. Lando is the first one to answer, rattling about how his home simulator was experiencing some glitches and how he had to call his brother over to fix some things. You nod along, setting your phone down after taking a look at the time to check for your next meeting. 

You turn a bit to Carlos, “And Carlos, how are you?” you ask as cordially as possible before taking a bite of your sandwich. Carlos shifts a bit to face you too, his eyes are looking around the way they always do when he is thinking and his hands are fiddling with his bracelet. 

“I’m fine. Excited for the weekend.” He says, looking over from you to Lando. It looks like he’s deliberating on telling you more or not but you see Lando shift and hear a small “Ay” from Carlos that helps you assume he had just gotten kicked. It’s not much but it is apparently enough to get Carlos to share more. 

“I just told Lando that one of my sisters is coming over this weekend” He says and your lips twitch to a smile, you had spent a lot of time with Carlos’ family when growing up and you hadn’t heard much of them in ages. One of the hardest things after the break up was saying goodbye to them too. 

“Ah really? Ana or Blanca?” You can’t help but ask. Carlos looks at you for a second, as if he was surprised that you remembered them both by name. 

“Ana actually,” Carlos says and you give him a small nod. 

“That’s cool. Tell her I said hi,” You say with a smile, going to take another bite of your food. You can feel Carlos’ eyes on you and there is a small lull in the conversation before Carlos is speaking up again. It takes you a moment to realize he’s directing the question at you, eyes still on you. 

“How are you?” He asks. It’s embarrassing but you feel a certain pressure release from your chest. It had been the first time Carlos was directing a proper conversation towards you. 

“I’m alright. Struggling a bit I guess?” You say truthfully, and you aren’t the type to share but before you know it you’re spilling a bit more than intended. “I haven't had the best time connecting with people, and I don’t really have friends outside of work at the moment .” You say truthfully, suddenly not wanting to look at them in the eyes, feeling embarrassed. 

“Ah- that’s nothing to worry about. You just need to go out a little. We can always do something. I told you, we’re friends now.”  Lando says and you let out a small laugh, his kindness warming your cheeks. 

“Of course, yeah. We’re friends” You laugh before nodding. “Okay, I might just take you up for it,” You say before the topic shifts to golf. You simply rest your chin in your palm, quietly listening to the two guys planning their next outing. 

___________________

To your surprise the driver that invites you out isn’t Lando, but it’s Carlos. It happens when you’re both having lunch together the next week, Lando having made it a tradition for you all to eat together.

The first few times were awkward but soon enough you and Carlos have small conversations here and there although Lando would clearly be the one talking with you both more. 

“You want me to what?” You ask Carlos, mainly in disbelief. He had briefly mentioned his plans with Ana to go to the city center to go shopping and he had looked over your direction, asking you if you wanted to join some time in the evening. 

“I told Ana you were here when she arrived and that you said hi and before I knew it she had a whole day out planned and you’re invited for dinner.” Carlos says quite sheepishly. “I tried saying no but-”

“Yeah, yeah. Ana never takes no for an answer.” You say, rolling your eyes fondly at her, a memory popping up in your head. “Remember that time she came with us to the cinema? You had told her not to come with us but she showed up anyway with a ticket.” You say without thinking, letting out a soft laugh. 

“Oh my god, yes. I haven’t let that one go yet.” Carlos says, letting out a proper laugh. 

“She did that?” Lando asks and you both nod.

“She’s always been like that. I think she crashed our first proper date too.” Carlos says with a chuckle, smiling before taking a sip of water. Your mind still lingers at the question and you find yourself giving him a small nudge, getting him to look over you. 

“I don’t mind showing up to see Ana but you can also tell her I don’t really want to join if you know, you aren’t very comfortable.” You say, already expecting him to take up your offer but he surprises you by shaking his head. 

“I think it’s fine, she’s missed you a lot actually. Could be nice, no?” Carlos says and you look at him for a moment before nodding. 

“Yeah, yeah. When does she want to go out?” You ask, still a bit stunned. Carlos hums before opening his phone to check his calendar. He pinches his bottom lip with his fingers as he scrolls through his schedule before turning it to show you.

“I think she said Friday evening.” He says and you’re leaning a bit closer to look at the time before giving a nod. 

“I can do that,” You say, looking over at Lando when he begins complaining about you both ignoring him and you can’t help but snort when Carlos steals his hat from him. 

The week passes by quickly and Carlos and you begin to talk a lot more in the office. The awkward lulls and silences aren’t really there. Even Tom notices, making a few off hand comments about the both of you looking more cheery but both just shrug and brush it off. 

“So we’ll pick you up at seven, is that okay?” Carlos asks once Tom is heading to his next meeting. You’re slowly tidying your things up, sending Bastien a quick text before you’re looking up at him. 

“Seven sounds good. Do you need my address?” You ask and Carlos nods, offering his hand out before nodding at your phone. You hand it over to him and watch him put in what you assume to be his number. 

“Just text me the address.” He says, picking up his things and you nod, quickly saving his number before grabbing your bag. “See you later.”

You get home a bit before six and you quickly go shower and change. There is a wave of excitement washing over you at the idea of going out. The past month you had been cooped up in your small apartment, and sure you had gone out by yourself every once in a while but you hadn’t gone out with anybody since you had gotten there. You mainly just stayed at home, watching shows, face timing Bastien or talking a bit with your sister sometimes. 

You’re ready thirty minutes early and decide to give Bastaan a quick call before leaving. You fix your hair a bit before holding your phone properly in front of your face, waiting for him to pick up. 

“Hi baby,” He says with a smile once the line connects. He’s laying on the bed, shirt off. You squint a bit as you look over the screen as you fix your hair a bit more.  

“Hi my love. You’re in bed?” You ask curiously, leaning back onto the couch. There is a bit of shifting before he shakes his head. 

“Not feeling too well so I took a day off today. Are you still going out tonight with Carlos and his sister?” He asks and you give him a nod. If you were being honest you had been quite nervous to tell Bastien about it, but as always he was supportive, even encouraging you to go out. He never told you but you knew he was a bit worried about you being alone too much. “What are the plans?” 

“I think just dinner and maybe drinks? I haven’t seen her in so long- there’s a lot to catch up on.” You say with a smile. There’s a faint sound of a door opening and you see Bastien's eyes shift. He speaks a bit in french before looking back at you.

“I need to go baby, my mother is over for dinner” He says and you give him a nod and a smile. “I love you, have fun and let me know when you get home” he says, sending you a kiss. 

“I love you too, tell her I say hi.” You say with a smile, letting him hang up. 

Twenty minutes later you’re heading downstairs, smiling when you see Carlos and Ana in the car right in front of the lobby. You quickly slip out, waving at them as Ana gets out of the car. 

“Y/N oh my god. It’s been so long.” She says before she’s engulfing you in a hug. You smile as you hug her back, letting out a soft breath as you do so. Once she pulls away you take a small step back to look over her, smiling wide. . 

“Hello, yeah. It’s been like what? Three years?” You say with a laugh before giving her another quick hug. 

“A lot to catch up on but that’s perfect. I made a reservation for us at a really nice restaurant. I remember you liked Japanese food, no?” Ana says before turning to the car where Carlos was playing with his phone. “Let’s go?” 

You’re about to take the back seat when Ana beats you to it, shooing you towards the passenger seat. “Fine, fine.” You say before ducking your head to get in. You flash Carlos a smile. 

“Hey,” You say, putting on your seatbelt as Ana gets in. Carlos greets you back, looking at Ana through the rear view mirror. 

“Ready?” 

The little bit of nerves you have dissipate after the first few minutes of sitting in the car. Ana is filling up the silence by picking songs to play and asking you questions and updates of your life. It's a bit of back and forth and it’s nice to hear more about what she’s been up to. Carlos even joins a bit in the conversation, but you and Ana do most of the catching up. You learn she’s almost done with her studies, finishing up her degree in Business and that she had broken up with her boyfriend. Carlos laughs a bit when you sigh out a “finally”, nodding with you in agreement. 

“He was an asshole.” He says with a shrug to which you both agree. 

The conversation stalls for a bit when Carlos announces that you’ve arrived, quickly turning off the car and taking out the keys to give to the valet. 

The topic picks itself back up once you’re all done ordering. “So- I forgot to ask you earlier.” Ana says, catching your attention. You gently twist the stem of your wine glass between your fingers, giving her a nod to ask away.

“How’s your love life? Any action?” She asks curiously and you smile before rolling your eyes. Carlos shifts a bit in his seat before looking over you, seemingly curious too. 

“Yeah, yeah I have a boyfriend. He’s not here though.” You say with a small smile. “We got together relatively recently. Well actually- I think we’ll be together for a year in a few months.” 

“Boo,” Ana jokes, “being single is fun, no?” She asks giving Carlos a nudge. Carlos fixes his hair with a chuckle. 

“Yeah, yeah.” He says, leaning back to his chair before crossing his arms, clearly not in the mood to talk about it. It’s clear that Ana wants to pick on it but you quickly catch her attention.

“So Ana, has Carlos been as annoying as ever? Or has it gotten better throughout the years?” You ask teasingly which earns you a scowl from Carlos. 

“He’s the worst, I think he’s even more annoying now.” Ana says with a snicker, taking a sip of her wine. 

“Yeah thought so,” You say, giving Carlos a shake of your head from disappointment. “He’s always talking about this and that, never wants to shut up hm?”

“Ay, come on, come on.” Carlos says waving his hand at you guys. “I did not miss the bullying at all.” he says but the smile on his face says otherwise. 

By the time you finish dinner Ana and you are two bottles of wine in and you clearly can feel a buzz. You were not much of a drinker which really did affect your tolerance levels, and two bottles of wine was a hefty feat for you. Both Ana and you were giggly, the wine having relaxed you both whilst Carlos had limited himself to one glass since he was driving you all home. He had loosened up too though, and you all had been reminiscing about old memories, even reminding each other of some that you had forgotten. 

“Remember that time y/n got lost in the house of mirrors in the carnival in Madrid?” Carlos snickers and you can’t help but pout. 

“Hey, it was confusing.” You defend yourself, remembering how lost you were. You had spent almost twenty minutes there before practically giving up and waiting for someone in hopes that you could follow them out. “At least I didn’t walk into any of the mirrors.” You snip back, laughing when Carlos’ smile drops

“It was that one time,” he states  but before he can say anything else Ana is butting in. 

“Yeah but you had a whole bump on your forehead for like a week. We even named it.” She says pointing at the left side of her forehead just for a reminder. 

“Oh my god, I forgot about Carlos Junior Junior.” You laugh, squirming away when Carlos tries to pinch your arm as retaliation. 

“You weren’t laughing when I had to go back in to help you out. I don’t even know how you got yourself that far in” He says and you smile and shake your head. 

“Not at all. I thought I was gonna be there for the whole night.” You confess, smiling at him before looking at Ana. 

“You crashed that day, no? We weren’t supposed to take you with us.” Ana nods, not even trying to hide it and Carlos smiles, amused. “I’m glad you crashed, it was a lot of fun. We did ditch you for a good thirty minutes though.” You say with a soft laugh.

“We wanted to get some alone time, it’s not cool to take your little sister on a date.” Carlos snorts but Ana is shaking her head. 

“You had the most fun when I was around.” She says confidently and you can’t disagree with her. 

After a few more stories you check your phone to look at the time, starting to feel a bit tired. 

“Yeah, it’s getting late,” Carlos says, practically reading your mind before waving over to the waiter. “I’ll get the bill, and then we can drop you off, yeah?” He offers. 

“Yeah, yeah. How much is it? I can split it.” You offer before Carlos is shaking his head. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, we invited you, it’s on us.” And that’s the end of the discussion. 

By the time you get home Ana is dozed off in the backseat. You and Carlos had made small talk, mainly about work, but you’re surprised when he tells you he’ll get out of the car to properly say goodbye. He walks a bit to your side of the car before standing next to you and leaning on his car. You lean back as well, watching him cross his arms over his chest. 

“Thanks for coming, it was really nice.” Carlos says, looking over at you. “And listen- sorry for the whole thing at work and that whole fight we had. I get why you said we didn’t know each other.” Carlos says. “I just didn’t expect to see you there.” 

You nod quietly to his words, giving him a small smile. “I’m sorry too. I could have tried to give you a heads up or something and I wasn’t nice at all when we argued.” You say with a small sigh. “I got too defensive at some point and it was selfish for me to just show up like that.” 

Carlos laughs softly and shakes his head. “You’re crazy. It wasn’t selfish at all. You’ve worked hard to get there. They don’t just give the internships to just anybody. You definitely didn’t owe me anything. Plus Tom really likes you now.” Carlos says with a chuckle. 

“Yeah, yeah I know. I worked a lot for this.” You laugh softly. “I’m surprised I got it though.” You say, furrowing your brows a bit when Carlos shakes his head. 

“Well I’m not.” He says before properly standing to turn to you. “Y/n, you are one of the most hardworking people I know. If anyone was going to make it it clearly was going to be you.” 

“Stop,” You say with a laugh, and you’re not sure if it’s the alcohol but you feel your eyes slowly getting wet. You keep your gaze forward, unable to look him in the eye. “Look at you though, you’re living your dream.” You say with a smile. 

“Yeah.” He breathes out. “We made it hm?” Carlos asks and you give him a small nod. 

“Well, in my case, almost.” You say before taking a deep breath to compose yourself before properly turning towards him too. 

“So we’re good now?” You ask, extending your hand out to shake and Carlos shakes his head. 

“Come on,” He says before pulling you into a hug. You stumble a bit, still a bit tipsy but you return the hug before slowly pulling away. “We’re good.” He says before taking a step back. “Okay, I should go before Ana wakes up and wants to party or something.” He says making you laugh. 

“Alright, alright. Enjoy your weekend with her. I’ll see you on Monday?” You ask as you slowly walk backwards to your lobby’s entrance. 

“Yes, see you Monday. Enjoy your weekend too. I hope you don’t feel too hungover.” He teases. You roll your eyes, soon turning to head into the lobby. You turn around to look back and see he’s still outside his car, waiting for you to go in. Quickly you give him a wave, before you head up to the elevators. 

The moment you lay in bed is when you finally let out a tired but satisfied sigh. You can’t help but to pull the covers close to you as you think about the evening. Relief washed over you knowing that you and Carlos were good, and maybe even friends now? Before you drift off you remember to text Bastien that you are home, and you grab your phone to do so. You see a text from Carlos, saying Ana and him were already home and you send him a quick thumbs up before you open your chat with Bastien. 

You give him a quick text that you’re home and in bed before locking your phone and setting it on your bedside. You doze off with a light feeling in your chest, even thinking about how work would be the following week.

fin.

read chapter five here

taglist: @sgkophie @loverboysainz-interacts @mossafiato @animesimp2 @gridmetro @iamasimpingh0e @ihearttheoriginals @panicforspec @wildflowertaste @hammyknight @im-an-overthinker @serialkillertbh @pierre-gasssllyy @lostinketterdam @organasith @sarasturniolo @azenpal @sukunasrealgf @imsoconfused2903 @dr3lover @nsprinx @hayleyy-l @starxqt @xheera @idkiwantchocolatee @sarahayden

(pls let me know if i forgot you and i'll add you once i can, sorry it's been hard to keep up with everybody!)

a/n: once again thank you for reading <3, i appreciate it big time. also reader and carlos are finally getting along but Bastien is back into the mix 😉. let me know what you think!! Xxx (even if it is points of improvement).

interested in reading more? check my masterlist

[kim-seung-mo]

hi I feel awful about this but can I please request prompt #11? btw ur writing is ✨impeccable✨

𝕐𝕠𝕦'𝕣𝕖 𝕍𝕖𝕣𝕪 𝕀𝕝𝕝 𝕒𝕟𝕕 ℍ𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕃𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕝𝕖 𝕋𝕚𝕞𝕖 𝕃𝕖𝕗𝕥

or…they find out that you're very sick and running out of time.

♩ gn!reader, pure angst and sadness because i love pain, mentions of death, suicide, cancer, terminal illness, no specific mentions tho, everyone's crying

♩♩ word count: 2.2k

♩♩♩ A/N: i put this prompt in to suffer, and now it's time ( Ĭ ^ Ĭ )

wip list here

go show the reason i stay some love plz i’m very proud of it

Chan

"Y/N baby...what's this?"

Chan was holding the medical exam form you thought you had thrown away.

"Channie...I-"

He saw the look of panic on your face, and all hope vanished.

For a moment, there was a moment when he thought it was just a mistake.

But the second he saw the look on your face, he knew that it was he who had been mistaken.

"How much longer......?"

His voice trembled, holding back his emotions and the tears in his eyes.

"......"

You didn't dare tell him, you couldn't bear to.

"Y/N...?"

"At most, two more years at the most."

He rushed over and took you in his arms.

He had never held you so tightly before, as if you would instantly disappear as soon as he let go.

"I didn't know how to tell you... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry ......"

"Don't say that... It's not your fault, it's not your fault baby...... It's not..."

His legs started to go weak as his voice became unstable, the two of you eventually fell together on the floor.

He still tried to hold back his emotions, understanding that you must have it tens of thousands of times harder than he did.

In the short amount of time you had left, he'd cherish every minute, every second of it.

Would pretend to be fine in front of you, but you knew he was crying himself to sleep every night.

The thought that you leaving him at any time tormented him.

He hated the unfairness of the world, but there was nothing he could do about it.

Absolutely nothing.

Minho

In the beginning, he would always think about going back to the way it was, always thinking that it could all be changed.

He didn't believe it, didn't accept it, didn't even acknowledge it.

You were so healthy and happy, how could you possibly be haunted by such an illness?

He didn't accept it, at all. In his mind, this was absolutely impossible.

Your hands were colder than usual? He would be by your side constantly warming them for you.

Constantly asking you to talk to him, it could honestly be about anything in the world, as long as you kept talking to him.

He would even pretend that you weren't sick at all, still treating you as before.

Absolutely no drop of tears, he felt that if he cried it would mean that he had lost.

Not only did he not cry himself, but he also didn't let you cry either.

Watching him like he was running away from the truth, you just couldn't bear it anymore.

"Wake up, Minho...stop acting like nothing's happening!"

You shouted these words with all your strength and fell to the ground helplessly.

He panicked and tried to come up to help you, but you pushed him away.

"I'm going to die! Lee Minho! I'm going to die in less than three months!"

Hearing you say the words he dreaded to hear so directly, he couldn't hold back his tears anymore. The tears he's been holding for god knows how long.

He practically crawled to your side and held your fragile body in his arms.

"I don't want you to die...I don't ......"

"I've finally found someone I love, someone I cherish, someone I want to protect...Why did this have to happen? Please Y/N...I don't want you to die, please don't leave me alone ......"

You've never seen him like this, you never thought the word "helpless" could be used to describe Minho.

But there he was, on the floor, holding your trembling body, like a helpless child.

Changbin

When he saw you lose weight day by day, losing your smile and strength, he knew you must be hiding something from him.

When you said you were going out to dinner with friends, he secretly followed you out.

The moment he saw you walk into the hospital, he knew.

"Y/N...don't hide it from me anymore, tell me, and let me bear it with you, please?"

He came home before you did and patiently waited for you in the living room.

He said those words in a serious tone you had never heard before.

You knew that you couldn't hide it from him anymore, so you sat down next to him.

You told him that you had been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer a few months ago, meaning that no amount of expensive treatment could cure it.

You asked all around Seol, going to every single hospital, but all the doctors gave you the same answer.

All of them told you to enjoy your life as much as possible.

You were going to tell him in the next couple of days, you didn't expect him to find out first.

"Why did something like this have to happen to you ......Why did it have to be you......"

He hated himself, hated that he couldn't do anything.

But he wouldn't show you that side, in front of you at least, he would only be the Changbin you knew.

In the last days of your life, he put off all his work to take you around the world, traveling and helping you fulfill all your wishes.

Surprisingly, they were without many tears, he didn't want to see you sad or be reminded of the little time you had left.

But most importantly, he wanted to recall only the happy memories of the two of you in the days to come.

When he confessed to you he said he wanted to make you happy for the rest of your life.

He kept that promise.

Hyunjin

Didn't accept it at all, even after your death.

Thought it was a punishment from God, thought it must be his fault that you would have such an illness, that you had to go through so much pain.

Blaming himself all the time in your last days, to the point where he was ignoring the fact that you still needed him.

Only sadness and tears, he simply could not manage to even pull a fake smile in front of you.

He couldn't even bear to look at you.

Seeing anything that reminded him of you would make him cry, cry until his vocal cords were damaged, until he lost his voice, until his eyes were so puffy they couldn't even open.

No amount of words you said could change his mind.

It was as if he was suffering more than you were.

You tried so hard to make him not blame everything on himself.

You had to drag him along with you to reminisce about your happy memories.

But no matter what you did, he just couldn't seem to be happy again.

It was too much for him.

He was like a broken doll after you died.

Only, unlike a doll, he could never be fixed.

Jisung

At first, he would try everything to make you laugh so that you could stay positive.

But then, when you accepted your fate, he began to fall into darkness.

He wanted to die with you, even started preparing for it, but gave up after you talked him out of it.

You left him a list of tasks to complete after your eventual death.

You hoped that by doing so you could make him regain his desire for life and living.

He refused at first, thinking there was no point in doing such a thing.

But every time he looked at your eyes, he just couldn't say no.

In the end, he agreed.

In the last days, he wrote no less than ten songs for you.

Each one of them celebrated you and your love for each other.

He would sing them to you, even though it ended in tears every time.

He said he would cherish these memories for the rest of his life and would never forget about you.

He would stare at you all the time, saying that he was trying to carve your face into his mind.

You said that you were ugly now, but he held your hand and told you how you haven't changed at all.

Maybe in his eyes, you truly didn't.

Felix

"Please tell me this is a prank, please Y/N......"

This was the reason, this look on his face was the sole reason why you've been keeping it from him.

Felix was your sun, he should always be smiling, he was supposed to be happy, not like this, not full of sadness and despair.

"Why...Why......Why did it have to be you......"

Never in his life did he think such a thing would happen to him.

How he wished you would have laughed and told him it was just a prank, just something you saw on the internet.

But with just one glance he could see that it was not a prank, you were actually dying.

He would try to pretend to be fine, but he's so horrible at acting, every time he ends up in your arms crying like a baby.

The thought of you leaving him crushed him, it truly felt like the sky was going to fall down.

He feels so sorry for you, that you have to suffer through this, and that he wasn't really helping you.

He tried, tried so hard to stay positive for you.

But he just couldn't, he just couldn't.

There were so many people in this world, why did it have to be the love of his life?

He would cherish the last days you spend together, even if there were only tears.

Because at least now you were still there.

He couldn't even start to imagine how life was going to be like, knowing that you were no longer with him.

(A/N: the reason i took a break from 24 hours after your death was felix, i just couldn't even bear thinking about him losing his love)

Seungmin

In your eyes he has always been a calm and mature person.

But you seem to have forgotten that in the end, he was only just a boy in his twenties.

Such news was still like the end of the world for him.

Saying that he cried his heart out would be an understatement.

You've never seen him like this.

After learning of the sickness, he made sure to be extra careful with you all the time, afraid to do anything to upset you even the tiniest bit.

You hated to see him like that, you just wanted the Seungmin you knew.

Even though you knew, deep down in your heart, how that wasn't possible.

He is a better actor than Felix, and after learning that you want him to "act normal", at least in front of you, he would remain the same as before.

But where you didn't see him, he would cry his heart out countless times.

He couldn't sleep without you in his arms.

You wanted to convince him to get used to sleeping by himself, but you lose to his puppy eyes every time you look into them.

You wanted him to sing to you, even though your hearing has declined to the point where you could barely hear anything.

He would lie in bed with you and sing into your ear, songs that he wrote himself, songs that only you have heard.

He seemed unchanged after your death, still living as usual.

To outsiders, it looked as if your death never happened.

But only those he knew best knew that he was never the same again.

Jeongin

Out of the blue, you told him your relationship is ending, you were breaking up with him.

You've only just started dating, and now you were telling him that it was over?

You asked him to break up so that he wouldn't be sad.

When he asked for a reason, you forced yourself and told him that you didn't love him anymore.

That he was too immature, that you only wanted him because of his fame, that you never loved him in the first place.

You thought that if you were decisive enough, cruel enough, he would be so heartbroken that he wouldn't ever want anything to do with you ever again.

You wanted him to hate you.

He cried for a long time, wondering why you had left him when you used to be so happy together, so in love.

He heard your reasonings and it broke his heart, but something just didn't feel right.

All the memories you shared, all the feelings, all those "I love you"s and late-night kisses, were all of them fake?

You seemed to underestimate his love for you and love itself.

Through a variety of ways, he eventually learned the truth.

It was like he had grown up overnight.

Lost all his childish dreams, all the joy.

He doesn't blame you, how could he?

He's just...he just regrets.

He just regrets that he didn't meet you earlier, regrets that your time together was only so short.