#also i hate dean more than ever before if thats even possible

[i-like-gay-books]

damn im starting to genuinely like jess

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

ahdflksjaklf;jsls ok buddies - I hate talking about 14x13: Lebanon, but it has relevancy in the “John Winchester is a villain and cannot and should not be redeemed” discourse as well as being a crucial piece of finale denialist lore so I Have Been Thinking About It Too Much.

As you may recall, the Occult Object of the Week - the pearl - in Lebanon is supposed to grant Dean’s “heart’s desire.” Dean and Sam are Very Sure this means expelling Michael (the Dean Winchester Must Be Saved installment of season 14) (honestly that premise always seemed a little slim to me, I was hoping for Dean’s heart’s desire to be Cas, on Dean’s car, naked, covered in bees). 

Instead they summon Dad of the Year, which at first feels infuriating.  However after discussion with my earworms, I Have Fixed It (and also turned it into a grenade to launch at 15x20.)

Finale denialists and John Winchester derogatorians ASSEMBLE! and let’s discuss after the cut.

I’ve written in depth about Dean’s struggles with the cycle of abuse, so I won’t go too far into it here, but if you want to revisit any of that meta this is a good place to begin.  This post hinges on the same theory - that Dean’s true freedom is established in his release from that cycle - that is the logical outcome of any hero’s journey for him, and where he would finally be able to accept happiness and love.  This logically would also make release from the cycle of abuse and the feelings of self-hatred Dean struggles with his “heart’s desire” for purposes of the pearl.  When it comes to emotions, we also know Dean doesn’t deal with them well.  He punches things instead.  So odds are, Dean hasn’t really worked through these feelings.  

Dean also mentions when John returns that “it was what [Dean] wanted since he was 4″ - when they lost Mary, right before John became obsessed with revenge.  Season 12 Mary canonically remembers John as a “good dad,” so we can draw a line from that to the abuse really starting shortly after her death.  This is also corroborated by Dean himself:

DEAN: You know when you died, it changed Dad. 

(A visual of the John Mary remembers) (just my excuse to put pictures of Matt Cohen on your dash) (I shouldn’t need an excuse) (Matt Cohen hi you are on Tumblr please don’t read any of this I’m embarrassed).

So what Dean has is pre-Mary’s-death John and post-Mary’s-death John, post-Mary’s-death John being the one whose abuse created Dean’s own damaged persona.  Dean thinks the fix is to stop things on the front end (he is ignoring any process-centered solution, he just wants it to never have happened, he is in denial that he has to work through this and just wants it to be erased, etc etc etc).  

***also keep in mind that going back in time to change things on the front end as a “fix it” is a storyline SPN repeats regularly***

***and it always ends up being impossible to do*** 

Ok so for Dean, his damage/anger/brutal nature/darkness is always linked to John, and this cycle “began” for Dean once their family was torn apart by Mary’s death.  So the fix is his “blood family” together.  That’s his heart’s desire in Lebanon because Dean hasn’t really worked through any of his emotions, and it’s his very Dean way of fixing it - “oh if my family gets put back together I will be put back together too.”

***speaking of quick fixes, I’d like to note that any case in SPN that is referred to as a “milk run”  inevitably becomes complicated and messy***

***continuing the thematics of there’s no such thing as a quick fix***

This is no different.  Stopping the cycle by simply erasing it from the narrative erases anything else that happened along the way during the journey.  It erases this Mary (who they know as a person by this point and not just the mom on a pedestal) 

and (most importantly) it erases this Cas (the episode specifically replaces Cas with one who Doesn’t Know Dean).

We Emphasize This Of Course In The Dialogue In Case You Missed It

DEAN Cas, you know us. ALTERNATE CAS I don’t know you.

***Simply erasing the origin of Dean’s trauma erases all of Dean’s growth.  It erases this family that Dean is so proud to tell John he has now. It erases everything he has already overcome despite how hard it was to achieve it.

So, John goes back.  In that way, the pearl does give Dean his heart’s desire - his realization that this is not about a quick fix, it is about the journey to the good, and all you gain and become along the way (kind of similar to “Happiness isn't in the having. It's in just being. It's in just saying it" eh?).  it’s the process.  It’s every moment along the way.  It’s the people who help him get there.

And then he starts the healing journey by taking control of his own life, by owning his feelings instead of displacing the blame, by recognizing he is NOT guided solely by the actions of his father and this cycle:

DEAN

And for the longest time, I blamed Dad. I mean, hell, I blamed Mom, too, you know? I was angry. But say we could send Dad back knowing everything. Why stop there? Why not send him even further back and let some other poor sons of bitches save the world? But here’s the problem. Who does that make us? Would we be better off? Well, maybe. But I gotta be honest – I don’t know who that Dean Winchester is.

And the episode fucking ends with Cas, the Cas Who Knows Them coming into the bunker and asking them what happened, calling each of them by name just to emphasize again That He Knows Them, because Cas knowing Dean, and Cas being Dean’s family is the cornerstone of what Dean’s heart desires.

[CAS walks in from the door at the top of the stairs. SAM, DEAN and MARY walk out from the library to see him.]

CAS Mary, Sam, Dean. What happened?

So yeah, it took 14 damn seasons but Lebanon is where Dean realizes he can be defined by more than the acts of his father.  (That’s why it’s so terrifying for Dean when Chuck snatches back any control he gained in Season 15.  Because for Dean, Chuck is just John Winchester Controls My Every Action all over again, except he’s God which makes it even worse.) 

That’s also why the final blow to Chuck is not Dean killing him. 

The last stage in the journey that begins here with Dean’s “I’m good with who I am” - [I’m still bad and dark and damaged but I’m good with it]

is Dean’s “that’s not who I am.” [the most caring man on Earth; the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know]

Thats equally why 15x18 is so brilliant, 15x19 is at least acceptable, and 15x20 simply does. not. work.

Dean Winchester’s perfect heaven cannot possibly center on the blood family.  It does not have John Winchester and Mary, husband and wife, who took away his own free will.  It is THIS FAMILY.  The found family.  Cas and Jack and Sam and the Mary that was resurrected.  Dean’s entire character arc supports this journey, and to have it culminate in something that is so established in the season prior to this one as something Dean knows he no longer wants is maddening.

I’m even more mad now because I just remembered that the most prominent picture above Dying Sam’s bed was the blood family portrait from this episode; almost like they wanted us to remember this particular stupid lesson.  This show is so stupid when it could have been so so so very good.

***I want to say thanks again to all of you who read my spiraling if you got this far.  It’s therapeutic for me to do it, but it makes it all the better that people actually read it.  Seeing you in my notes MAKES my entire day****

[assortedpuzzlepieces]

Ok, I’m about to go off on a GIANT rant about a specific issue I have with John Winchester & how the show intentionally & canonically portrays him as an ableist, homophobic asshole through his portrayal by JDM, so buckle up.

For the record, this is something I’ve always believed, but after listening to podcast episodes from @otrsupernatural & Carrying Wayward, one super clear example of why has just snapped into place & I feel compelled to share it.

So I want to start by noting a couple things that stand out. First & foremost, I think JDM is an incredible actor & I think he brings his A game with his portrayal of John. John Winchester is undeniably an asshole, & yet JDM balances that so well against the idea of loving parent, to not only make the character more realistic, but also to give real authenticity & depth to the trauma his children experienced at his hands & answer why they act the way they do in regards to him as their parent.

John is someone who, on the surface, appears to be a loving and concerned father, who makes mistakes, but does so because he’s in shitty circumstances & doesn’t have a lot of options or has his own trauma to battle that limits the choices he believes he has.

However, the show also gives us other content that proves there is more to John than that caring but broken man from as early as S1 & into the beginning of S2, & this content screams the truth of his ableism & homophobia, & gives some really strong evidence as to why these are two of the primary struggles of his children through the end of the series.

To explain, we 1st have to look at characters from earlier in S1. In 1x10, Asylum, we are introduced to Dr. Ellicott. He is shown to be someone who is canonically ableist to people with MHI. He sees them as less human, he does unethical experiments on them, he tortures them, just, lots of gross stuff there. On top of that, we see him as a ghost using what appears to be electrical shocks to Sam & Dean to possess & harm them, which resembles electroshock. There are also strong echoes of conversion therapy in this episode.

After this, we have 1x12, Faith, where Sue Ann is using dark magic to attack & murder people she hates, which specifically includes a woman who was pro choice & a gay man. This not only shows that she was homophobic, but that she condemned sexual freedom & bodily autonomy for women as well, which is in relation to homophobia, as well as deeply rooted in misogyny.

So essentially, we are shown a doctor who tries to force people to be less mentally ill or queer by “curing” them, & then a woman who took it a step further & murdered them to “cleanse” the town. We are given two different, but very interwoven ways with which society has tried to get rid of queers & disabled people, & it’s not subtext, it’s literally stated.

Now, in the show, both Dr. Ellicott & Sue Ann are the villains, & while the show demonstrates their ableism & homophobia, it also clearly condemns them for those actions. They are both dead/gone by the end of the episode & their actions are shown as evil. This is SO important, especially for a show that has failed in other episodes to truly state what exactly is the problematic action in the episode (looking at you, Bugs & Route 666).

That said, if Dr. Ellicott & Sue Ann are villains, then we must also extrapolate that ableism & homophobia are intentionally being written as evil in the show, so other characters who demonstrate these actions are also bad. (Yes, I know I’m being super redundant right now, but I just want to be really damn clear on this to demonstrate why I believe John’s characterization is intentional).

Now, in 1x21, John finally “learns” about Sam’s psychic abilities, & I say that in quotes bc there’s reason to believe he knew about it already from Missouri & was just in denial until confronted with the evidence, at which point he has a very strong reaction. As Ali pointed out, it’s interesting that he has such a strong negative reaction, as he clearly doesn’t have an issue with Missouri as a psychic, & yet he’s upset about Sam being one. He demonstrates the mindset of “othering” people outside of his family, which is a common treatment of both people w/ MHI & queer people - the mentality that “those people” are fine in general, but “not my son/daughter/family/me”.

So here in that episode, we are already getting an attitude from him that clearly parallels ableism & homophobia, & that is on top of other comments he made that are clearly rooted in misogyny, like his “that’s my man” to Dean in the flashback in Something Wicked This Way Comes (1x18).

THEN - the final nail in the coffin is the “secret” he tells Dean before he dies in 2x1; that Dean needs to either save Sam or stop him. By now it’s crystal clear he views Sam as something “other”, something not fully human, & his response? It’s literally “cure or cleanse”. Either make him “normal” or get rid of him.

To repeat, John LITERALLY uses ableist & homophobic language & tactics towards him son because he is different, & also tries to force Dean to do the same, passing on that legacy, by trying to erase anything about Sam thats not his personal definition of “normal”, all out of FEAR of who his son is & what he might do.

And the show CONDEMNS this behavior from the very beginning, even before we ever see him act this way!! They make it clear that ableism & homophobia are BAD, show John act that way, & then condemn him AGAIN when Dean tells Sam & it is made clear to the audience that what John asked of him was wrong.

Like… holy fuck. There is literally no way I can watch this & not believe that his characterization was not 100% intentional with him being set up as a bad person & his actions as condemnable. It’s just not narratively possible. John Winchester was intentionally written to be an asshole & we are supposed to see him as one, & any love we see from him is only meant to validate the complicated feelings Sam & Dean have towards him, not undermine the knowledge that he is a bad person. It’s literally in the text.

*Edit - Im adding a point here, since it’s been brought to my attention. John’s concern about Sam being infected with demon blood & possibly corrupted does not detract from the parallel being made between his actions & those of IRL people who are homophobic or ableist. In fact, this is another argument for that in interpretation, & here is why -

For literal thousands of years, mental illness has been viewed as demonic. People w/ MHI were thought to be possessed, evil incarnations, or even just sinfully corrupt & given to wickedness. People w/ physical disabilities were believed to be punished for moral failings, not faithful enough, etc, etc. Queer people were believed to be sexually deviant, witches, destroyers of families, etc.

These beliefs carry across many religions, but especially Christianity, & are present even today in some more extreme sects. And the people that believed these things? Well many of them were parents who “loved” their child & were trying to protect them from evil by purifying them. They too believed they had valid fears & good reasons to torture, maim, & even kill their children.

So to anyone who would argue “well it’s not the same because John had a good reason to be afraid of Sam” - shut the fuck up, because no, he didn’t.

Sam hadn’t hurt anyone. He wasn’t doing anything worth killing him over. He was a good kid who was hurt by someone outside his control & yet he only started doing anything that was truly wrong when he was pushed to it by circumstances that were again, beyond his control, & only then bc he was trying to do what was right!!

Anyone would do that, not just a kid w/ some demon blood powers. So let’s not act like he was inherently dangerous just BC he was different, bc guess what? That’s part of that mindset too. Sam was a good fucking person & John seeing him as less was John’s failing, not Sam’s.

[come-on-shitty-boys]

Characters: Oikawa Tooru/Sakusa Kiyoomi/Miya Osamu

Request: Hi! Do you think you can make headcanons for Oikawa, Sakusa and osamu, with an s/o thats a medical student? 🙏🏻😳

Warnings: swearing

Word Count: 1.9K (~600 a piece)

Notes:  I’m v v v sorry for the recent lack of updates! I’m moving back to uni on Tuesday and I didn’t plan accordingly and get fics lined up >.<

Oikawa Tooru

The most supportive bean oml he’s so cute

It’s definitely not easy considering he’s in Argentina, but he does his best to check up on you whenever he can.  You have a tendency to over-work yourself while studying, so someone needs to remind you to take a break and get some rest dumbass literally doesn’t take his own advice smh

You should hear him when he’s talking to his team about you.  “Oh, you mean Y/N?  My DOCTOR s/o?  Yeah, that’s right.  I’m dating a doctor.”  You aren’t even a doctor yet, but he’s going to tell everyone he knows that his s/o is a ✨doctor✨

He can’t really help you study because of the distance, but if you ever need to vent to him about classes or your residency, boy is there.  He is listening intently while you spill all the tea!  Oikawa likes the drama, what can he say?  It’s like his personal soap opera.

Oikawa takes so many screenshots while you video chat.  You’re probably going over notes or working on homework and he’s just collecting all the photos.

He’s going to post them on his instagram later, captioning it with something like, “yeah, your s/o may be great, but are they a doctor?  lol didn’t think so 😜” and you’ll have to comment “Tooru, I’m not a doctor yet.”

But, Tooru literally does not care.  He can’t get over the fact that you’re so?? Smart?? You could be telling him about something you learned in class that day and he’ll be nodding along, like he knows exactly what you’re talking about, but to be honest?

He doesn’t know what the hell you’re talking about.  You keep using these big words and he’s just “?????”

Oh, but he learns, because he’s a good boyfriend for sure.  He has sticky notes all over his apartment with random medical words that he’s heard you say.  It’s low-key just to impress you, but also Oikawa really does care about what you’re talking about and he wants to be able to follow the conversation better.  

Boy learns his new vocabulary words in Japanese and Spanish to further impress you and because he knows that you find it really hot when he speaks Spanish.

Brb cackling at the idea of oikawa just spewing a random Spanish diagnosis in your ear during sex because he can’t remember how to say what he wants to tell you

Everytime you reach a milestone in your med school career?  He’s bragging so much.  You’d think that he was the one who made the dean’s list or that he was the one who finished the classroom section and was moving onto their residency.

He’s honestly just so proud of you and wants to show you off, because you’re just so driven and passionate about everything you do.  It’s a big reason why he fell in love with you in the first place.  

Peep him cheering the loudest when you finally complete your residency.  Stand right there.  He wants to take pictures of his s/o looking fine as hell in their white coat with their MD, so he can brag to everyone he meets that his s/o is officially a doctor

The proud smile on his face when you’ve finally done it?  Irreplaceable.  He’s been your biggest supporter through this whole thing.  To him, watching you do this is as amazing as doing it himself.

He’s going to frame your degree and hang it up right by the door of the apartment when you two move in together.  Just a gentle reminder that he’s dating a doctor, no big deal.

You could try to tell him that you’re proud of him for following his dreams and making it to the big leagues and he’s just, “yeah, but who graduated medical school 🤗”

AWWW WAIT

If you open up your own practice one day ;-; this baby is just beaming with pride, taking all the pictures and all of the videos as you cut the ribbon to announce the opening

Marry him.  Marry him or I will.

Sakusa Kiyoomi

You probably complained once about the workload, saying that it was so much harder than you ever anticipated, and this son of a bitch would just scoff like, “It can’t be that difficult.”

But, it’s that difficult and you let him figure that out.  You handed him a stack of your assignments and said, “If it’s so easy, you do it.”

Insert Sakusa Kiyoomi hunched over the table for three hours, just staring at the page, occasionally flipping through your textbook and medical dictionary as if either of those things would help him. 

He literally handed you back a blank paper and didn’t say a word.

Honestly, he has no idea how to help you study, but he’ll try his best.  If you hand him a study guide or a stack of flash cards, he’ll sit on the couch with you and quiz you until you know each and every one better than you know yourself.

He’s not exactly going out of his way to learn about medicine so that he can better converse with you, but he does pick up on a few things

Kiyoomi’s gotten pretty good at breaking down the medical terms from long hours of helping you study.  He has a decent understanding of what some of the roots and suffixes mean, so when you start talking about something from school, he can usually at least pin down some of the information

Sakusa is going to use your career path to his advantage though.  He wants to know what disinfectants they're using at the hospital and can you get him some?  

He’s already pretty private about his personal life, especially when it comes to his relationship with you, so outside of his small friend group, he hasn’t told many people that you’re a med student.

This doesn’t make him any less proud though.  He’s just more quiet about it.  But, he’ll celebrate all of the little accomplishments right there with you, texting you right before you take a big test to wish you luck and taking you out for ice cream or a nice dinner when you get your results

If he gets a long break at practice, he’ll go take you lunch, just so he knows that you’re taking care of yourself properly.

MASK SELFIES

You stay up really late trying to memorize the proper treatments and where to make incisions and things like that, so if Kiyoomi doesn’t ask you to come to bed, it’s very possible that you just won’t? And he’s learned that the hard way.

Right before your finals you told him, “Yeah, I’m just going to study for another hour or so and then I’ll head to bed.”

He literally found you asleep at the kitchen table, your notecards all over the floor because you knocked them off at some point in the night

But, Sakusa is a good boyfriend so he’ll make you breakfast and some tea or coffee to help you start your day.

Speaking of coffee and tea.  He’s limiting your caffeine intake :)  oh, you want a cup of coffee/tea at 9 pm?  “That shit better be decaf.”  it’s literally just so you can sleep.  Once 5 pm hits, he doesn’t let you have caffeine, but it’d be bogus if he sat next to you with a cup of tea, so he also doesn’t have caffeine in the evenings.  

He’s definitely the type to show you that he cares more so than actually tell you how much he loves you

Miya Osamu

Superior twin

This is a joke i love both miya boys equally, even if atsumu does have piss hair

N E WAY.  Osamu has no fucking clue what you’re talking about 90% of the time and I hate to break it to you, but-

He’s not going to take the time to learn like the others.  He may stop you to ask questions, but that’s really it.

It’s not like he doesn’t care though!  Osamu really loves that you’re following your passions.  He just knows that even if you do explain it to him, he’s probably going to get lost in all of the logistics. 

Most of the time, you’ll just see him nodding along with what you’re saying, popping in with a question or a comment every now and then.  While he may not understand what you’re saying, he does take some interest in it.

He’ll ask you things about the medical equipment in your bag.  Like, how does the blood pressure cuff work?  Have you ever given yourself stitches?  If he were to cut his hand chopping ingredients, could you fix it right here in the kitchen or would you still take him to the hospital?  Can you really hear his heartbeat with those weird headphone things? It’s called a stethoscope ‘samu smh

Osamu is the king of making sure that you take good care of yourself.  This man? Oh, he’s packing you a lunch every single day you have to go to class.

Better yet?  If you come down to Onigiri Miya between classes, he’s going to pile your plate full of food and then he’s got a to-go container with more, just in case you get hungry.  He has your favorite drink stocked so it’s there whenever you come by.

He won’t sit with you, because he’s usually pretty busy, but he will let you sit at the counter so he can talk to you while he prepares more onigiri.

‘Samu always asks how your day went.  It’s the first thing out of his mouth whenever he sees you after your classes.  

If you guys get done around the same time, he’ll meet you at your university to walk home with you.

He makes sure that you drink plenty of water.  He’s like a waiter, I swear.  Osamu will walk past you like every 20 minutes just to make sure that you have enough water and if he sees that you haven’t been drinking your water-

Prepare for a lecture on the importance of hydration as if you don’t already know that?? 

“‘Samu, I’ve had five glasses of water.  I’m not thirsty.”

“You need to stay hydrated!”

He’ll try to help you study if you ask, but it usually ends up with you laughing as he tries to pronounce some medical term.  He’ll toss the flashcard to the side and just huff, “That’s probably not going to be on the test.”

Like Sakusa, he’s pretty reserved when it comes to talking about his personal life, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have a picture of the two of you on your graduation day hanging up in Onigiri Miya.

He’s not going to say anything about it first though, but if someone asks? He can gush about you for a good ten minutes while his patrons smile and nod.  Telling them how proud he is that his incredible s/o graduated from medical school with flying colors, explaining what field you’re in and what that means he’s literally just repeating what you told him once oops

[stainedglasscas]

4, 8, 12 & 10 for the discourse asks 💓

4) Meg!Sam or Lucifer!Sam?

Lucifer!Sam. Very compelling and heartbreaking in the sense that sam has always feared that there is something inherently evil within him and then he finds out that he is destined to be the body for the literal devil and yet he STILL fights it until he cant anymore. and also lucifer sam in the white suit was hot sorry not sorry. 

8) How should the afterlife have been “resolved”? Did the fixing of Heaven work?

okay this is a BIG question that i dont feel that i can fully address well but no i dont think the fixing of heaven really worked. i havent seen the finale so take my opinions about this with a grain of salt bc i am going off what ive read about it on here but like. sam and dean being stuck for eternity with their abusive father, their mother who they had a very complicated relationship with, without any of their other friends or loved ones (besides bobby) and never getting a chance to really live or break from their codependence just..does not seem like paradise to me. plus jack is god now and hes literally 3 which does not seem like a good thing for a variety of reasons. it could have been interesting if the way heaven was set up was framed as a bad thing within the show but its framed as a wonderful happy ending which it is not imo. 

For me the idea of heaven as it is in spn is weird cuz its basically just, a better version of your regular life (and not even THAT much better). Which sort of takes away the preciousness of being alive on Earth. I feel like heaven should, at the very least, be somewhere where you can reunite with ALL your dead loved ones, and it should be somehow different from real life in a way that makes real life significant. I dont know how exactly id set this up though, id need to think it over a lot more. 

12) Favorite season of Sam?

oh this is hard its between 2 and 4...the way sam is struggling this whole season to figure out why he is the way he is and never loses faith in good even when he loses faith in himself is just...i feel like houses of the holy is THEE thesis episode of how i feel about sam in this season. i dont know how else to put it into words. and season 4 sam is compelling becase A. bloodfreak hot demon gf time B. its about giving in to the monstrosity within yourself and hoping that some good can come out of it even if you are destroying yourself, even if you believe theres no hope for you anymore. 

10) What are your thoughts on Dean and Cas’s dynamic/its resolution?

i mean its pretty clear from my blog that i am a destiel person lmao. an angel strayig from heavens path as he falls in love with a very broken and flawed human man...that man learning to have faith agian, not in god but in that angel...literally whats not to love. that being said, it does bother me sometimes how dean treats cas. he really takes him for granted a lot of the time and i think if they were ever to get together dean should have to work on this. im sure cas also has flaws in how he treats dean but im a cas girl so i simply cant see them. (i mean lets be real, all of tfw would need months of therapy before ever being able to have a truly healthy relationship with anyone). 

 so obviously i fucking hated how they resolved their relationship. the confession was beautiful but the way they just completely ignored it, cut out a lot of deans reaction, tried to pretend it didn't happen, and also just completely cut cas out of the story after he died was not only bad writing in universe but also WILDLY homophobic oh my fucking god. it literally just does ot make sense for dean to be completely unaffected by the death of is best friend of 10+ years the way he was in the show, even if, for the sake of argument, he didnt love him back romantically. they really had 12 years of queerbating leading to the fastest bury yours gays i have ever seen. also some people think this is ridiculous but i think deans death was bury your gays. the writers knew that the only significant connection dean had besides sam was with cas and they knew if they had cas confess love they would have to address deans sexuality and feelings for cas in a whole new way and so they just killed him rather than even entertaining the possibility of him being queer. and thats fucked up

[ambthecreative]

DESTIEL RANT! Unpopular Opinion Time - The Scene was NOT Homophobic

Wow. It’s BEEN YEARS! And yet here I am again! I have returned to my Tumblr roots, rambling about Supernatural again! I have come full circle! Summoned by three words spoken by the Angel of the Lord we all knew and loved. But lets get down to business.  Everyone’s going crazy. They either loved it, hated it, loved/hated it, hated/loved it, etc.  Even people who never watched an episode felt the need to add their two cents without any context or with extreme bias.  So here’s the observations from a former Supernatural Fan and intense DESTIEL SHIPPER, but also one who has stopped watching it cause omfg it sucks so bad now. My bias comes from both angles and thus neutralizes each other out xD Obviously, spoilers for Episode 18 of Season 15 of Supernatural lay ahead.  ~~~

(TL;DR: The scene wasn’t bad because it was forced or homophobic. It was neither.  The scene was bad because of long term poor plotting, repetitive character arcs and horrendous timing and execution. That said, my shipping heart is just happy that it happened at all. <3 ) ONWARDS! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lets just get to the point. At first glance, that scene looks extremely homophobic and when it was first described to me (I haven’t watched the show since Season 9), it appears that is indeed the case.  And you can make a STRONG case for it to, if you watched that scene and knew of all the fucking queer bait we had to live through before getting here.  But I watched the entire episode. And I think this is key.  Cause while it’s easy to say its all homophobic, that’s not actually what was happening.  The truth is, the episode is a set up for the ending.  Sure it seems to be framed that Castiel is sent to the Empty for being gay, but that’s the bias talking.  Contextually, Castiel is sent to the Empty for being Truly Happy.  Also EVERYONE dies.  Funny how no one is up in arms that Charlie’s GF got poofed at the very start of the episode.  Not gay enough for it to count? Like she literally made her girlfriend breakfast and they were flirting, and boom she was gone FOREVER, not sent to a place where people have come back from before, but with NO EVIDENCE of them being alive at all.  Dead. Gone.  But no one says a damn thing.  And then EVERYONE died.  THEN Cas died.  And yet everyone got like temporary amnesia and its like, “CASTIEL WAS KILLED FOR BEING GAY!!!�� That’s...not what happened tho.  What’s really sad is the moment with Castiel was actually a GREAT plot point/twist, if only they had done it better.  NO ONE would be saying SHIT if Castiel had been a woman. NO ONE.  Or at least, they would mostly see it as tragic than anything else.  But because Castiel is making a homosexual love confession, it must BE because he’s GAY! It’s really ironic.  Judging that scene as homophobic is ACTUALLY homophobic* (not really, but i can’t think of a better word).  Or at least you’re judging the scene by their sexuality and not by what is actually going on.  Now I remembered something after thinking about this scene for a while.  THIS PLOT POINT HAS HAPPENED BEFORE IN ANOTHER EVEN MORE ICONIC SHOW!!! Now bear with me cause I never watched the whole thing, only the bits and pieces my roommate shared with me.  But the whole “I am cursed to suffer a terrible fate if I ever experience true happiness” has been done before.  And where was that?

Spoilers for Buffy by the way.  SO! To all those who are still trying to spin this as platonic, you need to watch more shitty afterschool 90s supernatural TV shows.  In season 2 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Buffy’s good vampire boyfriend, wakes up evil because he had a moment of true happiness.  And this dooms the couple.  NOW. Do you call this...heterophobia???? Oh I hear you! “But Angel didn’t die and he and Buffy got to be romantic and actually have sex before that shit went down! Not the same thing!” TRUE. I didn’t really bring this up to make an argument that the scene/show isn’t homophobic (or at least they are very uncomfortable with it), but rather I wanted to make a point that the PLOT POINT is not at all homophobic and is actually really awesome.  The issue with the scene is the execution.  That moment between Cas and Dean should have happened SEASONS ago or at the VERY LEAST earlier in this FINAL season, and not right at the very end. The other reason why it worked so well with Buffy is that they had plenty of episodes afterwards to go into it, have Buffy react to it, and deal with it and such.  Meanwhile SPN, still BLATANTLY uncomfortable with handling this sort of thing, decided to put Castiel away in a dark closet and then put forth an end the world plotline by killing EVERYONE so Dean is too busy to actually think and talk about it for any real length of time XD.  I wouldn’t use the word homophobic for it, because it wasn’t used as a joke, it wasn’t used to demean gay people, it wasn’t meant to say “if you are homosexual, you go to hell.”

That’s not it at all. The only reason people think that is because they’ve been hurt in the past so many times, by religion and government and truly homophobic media,  and this scene triggers that hurt.  HOWEVER, if you look at that scene without that lens, it’s more cowardly and insecure, than homophobic.  Cause at the end of the day, that’s the whole problem with Supernatural.  They never commit.  Their writing is lazy and weak because they don’t have the writing chops to actually GO FOR IT. 

They are constantly at war with the writing, the ratings/money, and the general public views.  They constantly add poc and homosexual characters, but are too afraid to actually do anything with them in fear of doing it poorly and upsetting people (and honestly, it’s a valid fear XD).  I stopped watching Supernatural cause the writing is HORRIBLE.  It has nothing to do with homophobia and everything to do with the fact its all over the place, there’s no stakes, the power escalation is shot to hell, they keep saying SIKE when they do kill people, no changes last forever, and it should have ended SEASONS ago.  Its BAD. But in regards to homosexuality, the fact that they used a plot point that the legendary Buffy the Vampire Slayer used but used it on two characters of the same sex is actually AMAZING.  YES it was CRINGY. The handprint was cringy! They were trying WAY too hard to make it different than the other 1000000 times Castiel died for Dean. But it was their poor plotting, their overuse of killing and bringing back people, the fact Dean and Cas never actually even toyed with the idea of romance openly in the entire show, that caused this scene to not shine as brightly as it could have. 

THAT SAID.

HOLY SHIT CASTIEL LOVES DEAN! THATS AMAZING!!!! Ahem. Another reason why people get this scene so wrong is because they think writers are actual Gods.  We are not.  They are flawed and they are many and this show had WAY too many showrunners.  AND IT SHOWS.  But you know whos constant? The actors.  Dean has never really changed. Jensen played him exactly as he’s  always played him. ALWAYS.  Any person who got mad that Dean didn’t sob or kiss Castiel needs to take off their gay fucking glasses and respect the fact that THAT ISN’T DEAN.  HE’S NEVER BEEN THAT WAY.  EVEN IF CASTIEL WAS A WOMAN HE WOULDNT HAVE ACTED THAT WAY. 

Also Dean has been so BLATANTLY straight this WHOLE time.  Now I’m not saying that the romantic feelings were not reciprocal.  I’m saying we don’t fucking know XD Hell DEAN might not know, and honestly that would be the most realistic and best way to handle that.  Do you know how FUCKED UP it would have been if Dean broke character and suddenly came out as Gay and totally fine with that and just acted like he’s been gay this WHOLE time even when it’s so obvious that he was not?!! Its like - Respect Homosexuality, but Disrespect all other sexualities.  You can’t just force Dean to be Gay and Comfortable With That Fact (tm). 

You can’t.  And to expect and force Jensen Ackles to play his character, that he’s played for years that way, to tell him to fuck off how he’s BEEN playing him cause it’s not good enough anymore even though everyone ATE IT UP before Castiel came on screen,  is an INSULT to him.  I do think he can realize it. I think he can lean into it. I really do think it’s possible to do it in a way that’s realistic and still in character with how Jensen has played him all these years.  But now, you’re all fucking entitled little nutcases if you think that Dean should bend to your fanfic fantasy as being head over heels in love with a man without any issue at all when there’s absolutely nothing in his backstory, childhood, or ANYTHING that would explain why he would be that way.  I’m old as fuck, but you know how Dean SHOULD play it? Like Heath Ledger’s character in Brokeback Mountain.  He didn’t exactly showed his emotions regarding the love of his fucking life immediately, now did he?  BUT THAT SAID THIS ISNT BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN YOU HORNY FUCKS XDD Ahem. That’s also a reminder for myself XD ANYWAYS!!!

TL;DR: The scene wasn’t bad because it was forced or homophobic.

It was neither. 

The scene was bad because of long term poor plotting, repetitive character arcs and horrendous timing and execution. 

That said, my shipping heart is just happy that it happened at all. <3   The End.  That is all

[fiftyshadesgrl]

He saved me/ part 2

Summary: reader is in a avusive relationship. When things take a turn for the worst she finds help in the winchesters.

Warning: this story has torture, smut, laguage, violence, abuse. If youre triggered by any of these i suggest not reading. Feedback is always welcome.

When i woke i was in a hospital bed. I heard the distinct beeping of several monitors to my side. Wires and tubes were attached to me seemingly everywhere. I opened my eyes a little and the bright light above me made me shut them quickly. I groaned as the pain in my head started once again. I felt a warm hand on mine. I turned towards the touch and opened my eyes again. I blinked several times to clear my vision. A man sat beside my bed a worried look on his face. He had short hair and the most beautiful green eyes i had ever seen.

"Hey, youre awake." He said in a rough voice. I looked around confused and fear started to settle in again.

"Where.... where....." i tried to ask but my throat was so dry. He stood then and walked across the room to retrieve a cup of ice water. He placed the straw to my lips and moaned as the cold liquid soothed my dry as sand throat.

He waited patiently as i drank my fill. When i was done he placed the cup on the table beside the bed. He sat back down beside me. "Dont worry sweetheart. Youre safe. Youre in the hospital." He spoke softly and i could tell by his eyes and voice he was kind. I felt safe for some odd reason, i didnt even know him.

"Who are you?" I rasped out weakly.

"Im dean, me and my brother sam brought you here. What the hell happened to you?" He asked in a serious tone.

My heart beat started racing as the machine started beeping more and more. My breath started to get shallow thinking about parker and what he done. Not to mention what he will do when he finds me.

"Hey, hey, calm down. Its okay you dont have to talk about it now. Whats your name?" He said soothingly.

"(Y/N)." I croaked. "My boyfriend did this." I motioned to myself. His jaw clenched and i saw the muscle working overtime. His eyes changed from caring to fury. I felt fear creeping up my spine as he looked into my eyes.

"Whats that bastards name? Was he in your house? Ill kill him." Dean said standing up from his seat beside my bed. He started pacing back and forth until i spoke.

"Can you please sit down dean?" It came out as a whisper. I expected him to shout at me. Telling me i had no right to ask him of anything and worse. I expected him to hit me. After all thats what i was used to. Dean seemed to notice where my thoughts were at. He held up is hands in a surrendering motion and walked slowly back to the chair beside the bed.

"Dont worry sweetheart, im not going to hurt you. I promise no one will ever hurt you again." I sighed a relieved sigh and relaxed back into the bed. Sleep was pulling heavily at me and i didnt want to fight it. I was just to tired.

Before i closed my eyes i heard dean say. "Im not going anywhere."

"What do you want to do about him?" A strange voice asked.

"I want to rip him apart with my bare hands. You heard the doctor, everything that happened to her." That was deans voice. He was talking to another man about me.

"I checked the house and hes not there. Probably cut and run when he realized she had escaped." The other man said.

"I dont care sam, hes around here somewhere. I wont stop until he gets what he deserves." Dean said, he tried to keep his voice restrained but i could tell his anger was getting to him.

I heard the other man sigh. "What about cas? Cant he help her?" This must be sam, deans brother.

"I havent asked her about it yet. I dont want to put to much on her. Shes under enough stress as it is."

Who is this cas theyre talking about? What could he possibly help me with?

I grrunt and open my eyes the pain in my head isnt as bad as it was but i was sure feeling it everywhere else. Dean is sitting right by my bed where he was earlier. Across the room i see a massive man sitting in the other seat. He has long brown hair that touches his shoulders and a massive build.

Dean notices that im awake and grabs my hand. "How are you feeling?"

"Like i was run over by a 18 wheeler several times." I say weakly.

Dean give a remorseful smile and then points over to the seat being occupied by the large man. "Thats my brother sam. Hes been trying to track down your boyfriend."

I swallowed hard at the fear that crept up at the mention of parker.

"Did...did you find....parker?" I stumble over my words as i begin to shake. Sam shook his head as deans grip tightend on my hand.

"Sorry, he has either left town or is hiding somewhere local. He more than likely knows someone will be coming for him now that you escaped." Sam said with a shrug.

"Hes not gone. Hes somewhere close. He isnt scared of the cops or anyone." I say with tears building in my eyes.

Dean wipes them away with his thumb. "He doesnt know real fear but ill make sure to take care of that. He will beg for death before im done with him."

I smile kindly at dean, "you dont have to put yourself in harms way for me. Hes smart, hes dangerous and he has connections all over this town and probably several more across the state. Hes not going to stop until he has me back. Hes not going to stop until im dead." The words just spill out for no reason. Im guessing its because i held it in for all these years that it felt good to actually talk to someone.

"Thats not going to happen. I meant what i said when i told you no one will hurt you ever again. We will protect you. I will protect you." Dean growled but said the last part softly. Just then the doctor decided to walk in.

"Hello (Y/N) im doctor gram. How are you feeling?"

"My head isnt hurting like it was but im really sore and hurting everywhere else."

The doctor nodded and checked the monitors. "Thats understandable considering all your injuries. Can you tell me what happened?"

I sighed hating to actually have to tell the whole story in front of dean and sam but im sure theyll find it out sooner or later.

"I was in a abusive relationship for the past two years. My boyfriend did this. He raped me, he cut me, he stabbed me and smashed my head into the walls and floor. He tied me up and ripped something in my leg. He choked me and bit me. Punched me until i couldnt see straight." I took a deep breath in and the doctor just nodded and held up his hand. The fury that was coming from dean was scary.

"Yes you tore your ligaments and muscles in your leg. Youll have to have surgery to fix that but we want you to be a little more stable to do that. Gentlemen if youll excuse us for a few minutes while i examine (Y/N)." Doctor gram said to dean and sam. Sam nodded and dean sat still for a moment. He kissed the back of my hand and that surprised me. "Ill be right outside the door. Im not going anywhere." Dean said as he stood up, him and sam walked out the door shutting it on their way out.

"So (Y/N), your skull is fractured in two places. Your nose is broken, you also have three broken ribs. Torn ligaments and muscles in your leg. We stitched up the cuts and stab wounds that was inflicted. Your vagina also had major lacerations that needed stitching. I need to check those if you dont mind." Dr gram said in his no nonsense doctor voice. I nodded and he lifted the blanket and my hospital gown as he examined me.

I shut my eyes and felt the bile rising in my throat as he was looking at me. I just had a uneasy feeling with him or anyone being that close to me. He lowered the blanket back and began writing on his clipboard. "Your stitches look good. Parker did a job on you didnt he?"

[vickypoochoices]

ABC Fluffs.

Thank you to @krsnlove for requesting this. It’s been sat untouched in my drafts for a while, so I thought I’d finally get around to satisfying your needs!

I’ll make this ZigxLyla because she’s my most recent MC so I guess she’s still fresh in everyone’s mind. I'm gonna refer to events in Partner In Crime quite a lot so if you haven't read it and are confused, give it a read [HERE].

The L ove confession answer is a little segment taken from an NSFW chapter of PIC. I promise it's tame, I wanted to keep this clean, but consider this your warning. (I don't think it even counts but i just want to make sure no one gets upset at a slightly suggestive piece!) Apart from that, I think it's all cute and fluffy!

Also, I started writing this from Zig's perspective and it just kind of stuck.

Tagging: @zigortega4life @emerald-bijou @littlegreenmoo (I fear the fluff may kill you off, but it feels wrong not tagging you!) @krsnlove @itsalliepg @choicesthot @hustacks

If you want to be tagged/untagged in any of my future stuff, let me know.

[MASTERLIST.]

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them? We literally spend every spare second of the day together! I guess things aren't too different to how they were before. As best friends (and roomies) we always used to be around each other the majority of the time anyway, and as we share the same friend group, hanging out with them has always been something we've done together. We're still the same excitable big kids that chase each other around the apartment half naked. But I have somehow managed to persuade Lyla to join me at this new dance class once a week. She's got two left feet and hates every second of it, but my girl drives a hard bargain. I'm stuck with all the jobs she hates doing taking the garbage out and she's demanding a full body massage as well. I know she loves to moan about it, but I'm sure deep down she's happy to be doing it with me. Maybe.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them? Everything! Every single inch of her is perfect. From her fluffy bedhead hair first thing in the morning to the tiny little scar on her ankle left from when she had chicken pox as a kid. I think what has always drawn me to Lyla though is her sense of humour. We have this banter together that I've never really experienced with anyone else and it's kind of a huge turn on for me.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.? I'm not exactly an extravagant person, and it's not like I have the money to do anything over the top. For me, it's all about the little things. I know Lyla well enough by now to determine what's going to cut it, and whatever it is, I'll do it. I'll run a hot bubble bath or make a last minute dash to the shop for chocolate/ice cream/wine. And making her favourite meal is always going to be a winner. But sometimes patience and understanding is all you need. If that means holding my girl for an hour whilst she smears make up all over my top and let's it all out, then that's what I'll do.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o? In a slightly bigger apartment for starters! Don't get me wrong, we both love our little space, but I guess we both know one day in the future it's not going to be the most practical. Obviously both our mothers have already brought up the subject of grandchildren daily. I'm sure that will all come one day, but for now our dreams have only stretched to getting a pet together. Apparently Lyla is a hundred percent a cat person, but I'm hoping I can work some magic and persuade her that dogs are awesome too. I think that basically sums us up. We haven't planned out what we want to do with our lives or what career paths to take, but our biggest goal is to have a dog pet together!

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive? I wouldn't say either of us are like overbearingly dominant or anything, but if I had to give you a name, i'd say Lyla just about has the edge over me. I'm not saying she walks all over me or that she wears the trousers or anything like that. But sometimes I'll just go along with something for an easy life.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting? If you ignore the little disagreement about what pet we should get and all the shit that went down with Dean, we really don't ever fight. Don't get me wrong, Lyla is stubborn as hell! But I learnt a few things growing up with a house full of sisters, so I'm more likely to let things slide. The only thing I struggle with is when the green eyed monster comes out in Lyla.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them? I know this is so cliche and people always say how lucky they are to call their other half their best friend, but I genuinely can say that. Everything is just so easy with us and Lyla knows me like the back of her hand. There's this other side to her that no one else ever gets to see and I love that it's reserved for me. Just doing simple things like walking around holding hands, showing my girl off to the world, I feel like the luckiest guy in the world that she feels the same way about me. Author's Note: We all know Lyla has every reason to be grateful for the absolute sweetheart that she's bagged herself, despite fucking him in a closet and then running away to her controlling fiance, then telling him to stay away. You sure you're grateful Zig?

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything? I'm making a point now of not keeping anything from Lyla after that spectacularly backfired on me with the whole Cherry thing! Safe to say I've learnt my lesson! I want to protect her with every fiber or my being, but I know a relationship is nothing without honesty and trust.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems? I guess you'd have to ask Lyla about this one for her. I know things were a little crazy with Dick Dean, and I'd like to think I helped her as best I could through all of that during the aftermath. For me though, going through it all pushed me to realise just how much I need Lyla. I depend on her more than I ever thought possible. I was this empty shell of a man that didn't want to get out of bed when she left. I know, I know. It sounds a bit over the top, but it really is true what they say; You don't know what you have until it's gone. And I plan on holding on tight to my girl from now on, and never letting go.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it? I'm not gonna lie, it sucks when I catch a guy checking Lyla out. But that doesn't mean I'm gonna be a dick about it. Knowing I'm the one that gets to take her home to our apartment to sleep in our bed makes things a little easier too. I think she's completely oblivious to any male attention anyway. And as for Lyla, she does have a touch of the green eyed monster from time to time. It's difficult sometimes, especially knowing how strongly I feel for her, and I hope I do a good job of showing her that on a daily basis. But I know that's the kind of thing we have to talk about, instead of letting it blow out of proportion like last time.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like? A reminder of how their first kiss went;

And then their lips collided in a frenzy, neither of them sure who made the first move, past the point of caring. Zig’s nose squished against hers repeatedly as their lips smacked together messily, Lyla’s kisses quickly intensifying, her tongue insistently pleading with his, desperate for permission to continue.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o? Again, a reminder of how that went down;

“I can’t do this when you’ve been drinking. I can’t take advantage.”

“Take advantage? It makes no difference if i’ve had a drink or not. I’ll still love you when I wake up in the morning.”

Zig shook his head sadly, hating the stab of hope he felt inside at the words she’d just said. “And I’ll still love you. Partner in crime, right?”

Lyla pulled back, tearing herself away from his neck. She looked him straight in the eye, hers wide and serious as she spoke. “You’re not listening to me. I’m in love with you Zig. And I’ll be in love with you even when the bubbles are gone and the hangover wears off. I...”

He crushes his lips against hers, walking her backwards and pinning her against the wall, his hands tangling in her hair which had come loose at some point. He pressed his body firmly against her, letting Lyla feel the full affect she had on him. Her hand drifted downwards, fingers stroking his full length through his suit trousers. Zig groaned, before slamming his lips against hers once more, leaving her breathless.

“Tell me again.” He hissed, pressing sloppy kisses down her jawline.

"I’m in love with you Zig.”

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like? It's not something we've talked about but there's no doubt in my mind, Lyla is the love of my life and there's nothing I want more than for her to become Mrs Ortega. One day though. There's no rush right now, despite what our Mum's might want from us. I want to do it right. After all that shit with that sham of a wedding to Dean, Lyla deserves to have the perfect day. I'm not saying i've thought much about how exactly I'd propose, but I do know it would be in the apartment. Regardless of if we still live there or not, that's where it's happening. Candles can make anything look beautiful right? As for the wedding, it can be whatever Lyla wants. We could get married in a castle, church, hotel, barn, even the middle of a mall if thats what makes her happy. As long as our friends and family are there and it's Lyla saying 'I Do', that's all I need.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o? Damn Aaron and his catchy nicknames! Lyla has taken to calling me Ziggypop since I let slip how much I kinda actually hate it. And she's a fan of rolling out my full name from time to time. As for me, I guess I'm kind of boring. I stick to babe/baby. And let's not forget beautiful, because I love how that still makes her smile every time I say it.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings? Well judging by how I reacted after our brief time apart, I'm a miserable prick without Lyla, so I'd say it was pretty obvious for others just how much I love her. I don't really know how to answer that one about what I'm like when I'm in love because it feels like I fell hard for Lyla the minute I laid eyes on her. I've spent years clutching on to those feelings, and hoping people didn't cotton on. We're both guilty of expressing those pent up feelings freely, now that we can.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching? We're definitely that couple that everyone hates. I love Lyla, and I don't care if we're in a room alone or surrounded by people. If I want to kiss my girl then nothing and no one will stop me. And it's not like Lyla holds back either!

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship. I think I'm quite good at reading people, females in particular. Definitely a benefit from growing up in a house full of girls! Nothing really scares me or surprises me now with the opposite sex.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative? What wouldn't I do to make Lyla happy? I've sat through every soppy chick flick known to man with Lyla and I know I'd do the lot. Kissing in the rain, the iconic lift in the water, some sexy pottery making...Seriously though, I know I might joke about it, but all I really want is to see my girl smile, and to be the one making her smile. Whatever she wants, it's done. I might not be full of amazing romantic gestures, but I'll still try my hardest all the same.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them? Lyla will rule the world one day I'm sure of it. I mean, if that's what she wants to do. She's been stressing out recently because she doesn't have her whole life figured out yet, but I'm doing my best to convince her she doesn't have to. She's amazingly smart, and she can pick things up quickly. Whatever she eventually decides on, I'll be there to support her the whole way. Lyla has this awful saying that apparently all of the cool kids say 'Live your best life' that she constantly says to wind me up. And annoyingly it seems to do the trick. I'm planning a few more dance classes just for starters, so she might end up regretting those words of encouragement.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine? Spice up our relationship? That makes me cringe, I hope we never get to that point! Lyla is all about routine in everything. I've watched her do the same things day in, day out for the last three years. And now we're together I'm here to shake things up a little bit. I said shake, not spice! I'm not really making her try out new things forget about those dance classes. I just think life could still be fun if instead of getting up an hour early for work to eat breakfast and slap make up on, she spent that time in bed with me instead. She's too beautiful to hide behind make up, and obviously I wouldn't say no to an extra hour in bed with my girl.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic? Pretty good. I know that Lyla's favourite coffee is a salted caramel machiato with a heart drizzle on top but she doesn't even know that herself. I know she bought a load of cakes in the first time she met my Mum because she wanted to make a good impression, and ended up telling her she'd baked them all herself. The lie still lives on, and Lyla has to fill the sink with dishes everytime Mum visits! And I know that she got her stubborn streak from her father, which explains a lot!

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life? There is no comparison. Aside from my family, Lyla is the single most important thing to me. That question is like asking a fish how important water is to them, that's what she is for me. I don't just love her, I need her.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

"Babe, have you seen my jacket?"

Zig stopped in his tracks, his mouth falling open and his eyes widening in disbelief as he drank in the sight of Lyla.

The shiny black leather was a stark contrast against her pale skin, a touch of pink barely visible as it crept along the exposed flesh of her neck, her long hair twisted to one side.

She stood with her back to him, head cocked to the side as she peered at him from over one shoulder. Her teeth sank in to her full bottom lip in an attempt to suppress a giggle.

Zig swallowed hard as his eyes slowly lowered. Past her small shoulders, the excess material bunching up and hanging off of her. His tongue slowly traced around his lips as his gaze lowered further still, finding her hands bunching up a fistful of leather, the curve of her bare ass now visible. Her hips swayed seductively from side to side, her voice vibrating in her throat as she let out a low purr "This one?"

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle? I think the problem with us has always been that we're too affectionate. Not that I'm complaining! When I hold Lyla it's like I've got the whole entire world just sat there in my arms and I never want to let go. The fact that I can hold her all night long and kiss her sweet lips until we need to come up for air is just an added bonus! So glad we're out of the friend zone!

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of? Something like spending close to every waking minute of the day for weeks on end trying to find a way out of an unwanted marriage for her? Or is that too specific? I would do anything and everything for Lyla. Nothing is too much for the woman I love.

[missjackil]

My 14x13 Opinion

Lebanon The 300th Episode

I am so proud of this episode and so blown away by how awesome these last 4 episodes have been! Might be an unpopular opinion guys but I really like this season! Sure its had some duds like Optimism and The Scar (Though The Scar had a great broment) but I thought we’d be getting Leader!Sam this season but we have emotionally wrecked!Sam instead, and Im here for that! Needless to say I LOVED this episode, I was so pleased with pretty much everything and I have no big complaints, so lets have at it! I enjoyed the lightness of the beginning, and getting a look at the town. Im so pleased they FINALLY noted that Lebanon KS is the geographical center of the country! So the boys can get anywhere in the country within a day and a half. Its kinda weird though that Lebanon seems to have 3 different post offices. The one from Something About Mary, the one from The Spear, and now this one. LOL thats no big deal so lets move along. 

It was funny that the dude in the pawn shop committed suicide by Winchester, which of course is trying to, or successfully killing one gets you killed by the other, and Dean acknowledges that they all talk too much LOL.

The kids talking about the rumors about the boys was fun but I really wasnt impressed by “cool chick” Max. I liked the boy in the hat though, he was great. Stealing Baby is also suicide by Winchester but Sam and Dean dont go around killing teenagers so, they got lucky. 

I was amuzed by the ghost of John Wayne Gacey clown, and Dean being all “You love serial killers but hate clowns!” and Sam being like “I get it Dean” but Im really glad they didnt make Sam act like he was scared like the other times before. It just wouldnt have fit well into this episode I dont think. Saving Dean is more urgent than a clown fear right? 

Moving on to the meat, and this was as meaty as an episode can get! Dad comes because Dean makes a wish. It seems Dean’s desire to have his family together is more of a desire than getting ole Mike out of his head, and thats really pretty sweet. Dad recognizes the boys right away, which is cool especially since Sam looks NOTHING like he did back in 05, let alone 03 but John says “What happened to you?” I reckon they aged 15+ yrs Pops!

The boys give Dad the nutshell version of their lives over shots of whiskey, because, how else could you do it? But man, John’s face when he hears Mary’s voice was amazing! And I dont even like Mary but, good lord if she didnt nail these scenes!  My hear crumbled, their reunion kiss was completely believable even though we never saw them kiss on the show before. I saw some of you whine that John didnt ask permission first... really? I could see if they were gonna have sex, but when does anyone on TV ever ask to kiss someone?? Not very often. It was by far the most romantic thing Ive ever seen on this show, 

Like typical Winchesters, Dean is sucked into whats right before him and Sam is worried about the big picture. But Sam doesnt lean too hard on Dean about it, lets all have the nice family dinner we’ve never had. 

While compiling a shopping list with Mom, Dean leaves Sam alone with Dad. This scene was .... WOW... so well written and brilliantly acted. I had been wondering how Sam and John would hash things out and this was so much better than I invisioned. Its so in character for the Sam we have watched grow over the last 14 years to get over the bad and focus on the good, because those you love can be taken away in a heartbeat and being left with hard feelings is the worst. All he can think of is seeing Dad dead on the floor and he never got to say goodbye. and he never got to smooth things over. Sams emotions were raw and real! Jared really let Sam feel it, all the regret and anger and loneliness, melts away and turns into “but you loved us.... and thats enough” It was so refreshing to get so much emotional POV from Sam. Something we;ve gotten more of this season than we ever have. It hurts like a mother... but its worth it. 

After the heart shattering talk, Sam composes himself and tells Dean hes right. This was a good thing even if its jut temporary. He asks Dean if he wants company for shopping, and this is like Sam wanting to hold on to his rock (Dean). This is precious.

The boys leave Mom and Dad alone, and go shopping. Now we discover that the timeline has shifted and they have alternate selves. Dean is a wanted criminal and Sam, omg lol Sam is flaming TED talking douchebag that wears turtlenecks, loves Kale, doesnt drink coffee, and doesnt see the need for hobbies or family. But, I gotta say hes lovely in glasses 😎

This inevitably means that not only will Mom disappear, but the boys wont have the relationship they do, and we know, thats a fate worse than the universe exploding. Meanwhile we get a guest appearance by Zachariah and Cas, and Cas is back to S4-ish Cas and possibly even more of a dick. Sam and Dean find them as theyre about to kill the teenagers from earlier and save them. Cas of course doesnt know them from Adam but Zach does. A fight ensues and I just have to state very clearly that Dean went after cas with the angel blade with no second thoughts. Zach attacks Sam and tries to kill him, but Sam kills him instead. Now thats poetic to have been killed by both Winchesters at different times! 

Now Cas is trying to kil Sam, which as we know, never goes over well with Dean, but Cas really nails Sam HARD in the face and Sam spews blood all over! That was pretty graphic and dramatic! Well full strength douchebag angel or not, Dean doesnt let you beat on Sam. so heattacks Cas, and Cas is about to kill Dean. There is no “Cas its me!! Fight this!! I love you!!” like all the hellers wanted and predicted LMAO instead Sam writes a sigil with his blood and zaps Cas away.

Back at home, yet another highly emotional scene as Sam tells Mom why they have to let Dad go... she would just fade away and they would become their “other” selves. Mary cries real tears. and Sam overflows again. God my heart!! Dean talks to Dad and Dad is more than willing to lay his life down for Mom. They all sit solomly at the dinner table. Oddly enough Sam is the only one eating, and Im sure theres meta in there somewhere.... all I can think of at the moment is that hes distracting himself from the painful slence, and hes the only one who never really had Winchester Surprise. John decides to lighten the mood and be grateful for this time, and they all follow suit. And it was glorious!! My boys laughing and eating and enjoying themselves with mom and dad, I just dont know what words to give this scene! 

Afterwards, Sam and Dean are washing dishes together #husbros and they briefly discuss keeping it the way it is. I mean really.... Mom may disappear and they wont be insanely co-dependent, but Michael wont be in Dean’s head anymore, because nothing leading up to it would have ever happened. Dean says hes good with who he is, and hes good with who Sam is, and hes just too old to want to change it. 

The farewell scene was nothing less than earth shattering painful. Dean was surprisingly calm and stoic, though he had many tears. It was as if on purpose, he let Sam and Mom have all the emotions. John hugs his sons one last time. and tells them he’s so proud of them, Poor Sam is gutted. He cant even pretend he isnt crying. Dad tells them he loves them. Dean says he loves him too. Sam cant get words out so he wipes his face and nods. In a beautiful paralell from the old days when John told Dean “Take care of Sammy” and Dean answers “I always do” John says “Take care of each other” and Sam answers “We always do”😭😭😭😭😭😭John takes Mary’s hand and Sam in obvious pain crushes the pearl and Dad fades away. He wakes up in Baby back in 2003 believing he had a good dream. 

Now we have to wait a freakin month for the next episode. But Ill be ok. I think I need a break from all the emotions of the last several episodes because the next couple will probably be less dramatic. This is ok, if every episode was this emotional, even that would get old fast. We only have 7 episodes left and I dont want to rush to the end of the season for a freakin 6 month hiatus!! AGGGHHHHH!! 

Overall I am in love with this episode. It may have moved itself into first place but it has at least tied. This episode definitely met and exceeded my expectations, and last week I thought it wouldnt be able to beat that one. Im so proud of SPN, the writers, and the cast of this episode Ill give them all a standing ovation 👏👏👏👏👍💖 I think its abundantly clear now that Dabb DOES care about the brother bond and doesnt give a rats ass about dean/cas in fact it looks as if the next few episodes might be Dean lite... but we never really know till we watch the episodes.

In conclusion. on a scale from Bloodlines to Who We Are, Lebanon is a 10. Well done show.... well done! Now onward to the 400th episode!!

[winmance]

Prompt: Supernatural just started filming season one and Jared wants to / needs to break in Jensen to make sure they will have good chemistry. Rumours go that Jared's trailer rocked constantly for more than an hour and that the moaning was heard over the whole studio. ;)

Jared isn’t a shy guy. He’s friendly, kind, funny, and peoplewho meet him usually leave with a good impression. He never had a problemsocializing or meeting new people.

That’s why he can’t understand why he can’t seem to talk to Jensen Ackles.

He and hisnew co-star met a few months ago during the audition, and they clickedinstantly. They were both from Texas, had the same family history, the sametaste in music, and for a moment, Jared thought he had found his perfect twin.Hell, even their siblings had names that started with the same letters.

When helearned that they were both cast, he was thrilled.  Then, not even five minutes later, Jensen wascalling him and asking him if he wanted to go out for a drink.  

It wasgreat. Really great. Jensen was the perfect friend, the perfect co-star, andthey had an incredible chemistry, on and off the set.

It wasgreat, until they filmed the scene where Dean breaks into Sam’s apartment.

Fortechnical reasons, they did this one a few weeks after they started toshoot.  Jared often wonders if thingswould have been different if they’d filmed this scene first.

If theyhad, Jensen wouldn’t have had to change his clothes,right in front of Jared, and maybe Jared would have be able to focus onsomething else than how muscular Jensen really was.  How his skin seems to be the most soft andperfect skin ever, sprinkled by freckles. And maybe he wouldn’t have noticed how perfect Jensen’s ass was.

There’s probably a lot of things he wouldn’t have noticed. Or maybe he would’ve,but he would have had time to go take a cold shower and clear his head. Insteadhe found himself pinned down by Jensen, their bodies pressed as close aspossible.  While Jensen’s hands were trying to pull himcloser, he was also applying pressure with his lower body to roll Jared over.

That’s all it took for Jared to get hard.Not right in front of Jensen- No, that would have been too easy – But right on Jensen.

“I-I need a break” He says, getting up as soon aspossible.

He didn’t turn and look at Jensen, he simplyran towards his trailer as fast as possible, adjusting his pants on theway.  

“What’s gotten into him?” One of the crew member askedJensen, helping him up

“We’ve been filming for a while. He’s probably just tired” Jensen says, offering an excuse forJared, even though the young man was already too far away to hear him. “I kind of need one, too”

Jared isn’t a shy guy, but he can become onereally easily.

Forexample, getting hard while filming with his co-star is a situation thatresulted in him becoming really shy. Even more when he knew that Jensen feltit.  

Of course,Jensen didn’t say anything, he’s too nice to say it, but there’s no mistaking how he looks and actsaround Jared now.  As if he had to becareful with every single word.

It’s making Jared even more shy andawkward. Jensen shouldn’t be feeling like he needs to becareful around him, Jared is the one who fucked up here.

The worstis probably that their awkwardness around each other has an impact on theirscenes together.

Theirchemistry is all but gone.  It doesn’t fit with the brother’s relationship. The emotional scenewhere the brothers share their feelings is flat.  The tension between them filling the air, andinstead of a few extra takes, they end up behind an entire day.

Three weeksafter the “accident”, Jared decides that he has enough.He’ll apologize, tell Jensen that hedidn’t meant to… to do what he did, maybe make ajoke and then it will be done. He needs to come clean. It will be easy andquick.

He standsin front of Jensen’s trailer for almost ten minutes,unable to do anything. He can’t knock, can’t face the consequences of what hedid. He knows that it’s no big deal – they’re both men, and they know howthings work. But it’s not supposed to happen when you’re with another guy, much less whenyou’re working with another guy.

He can doit.

Or he can’t.

He doesn’t know.

He’s not sure.

Or maybe heis.

Yes, he is.

He can’t do it, can’t face Jensen and tell him that itwas an accident because it wasn’t, not really. He’s been thinking about Jensen sincethe very first day, and soon or later, Jensen would have find out.

He walksback to his own trailer and collapses on the bed, his mind dizzy witheverything that happened. He screwed up big. Really big. What if Jensen doesn’t want to work with him anymore?What if the show ends because of him? He’s not the only one involved here.There’s hundreds of people working on theset, people who would lose their jobs because of him. He won’t be able to find a job after that.What if Jensen tells everybody what happened? What if –

He’s cut out of his thoughts whensomeone knocks on his trailer.

Is that it?Is he gonna learn that the show is over, that he is fired?

But when heopens the door, he’s surprised to see Jensen standing infront of him, his hands in his pockets, looking almost as awkward as Jared.

“Hey” Jensen says, bouncing from one feetto the other “I, uh, I saw you in front of mytrailer but you left before I got there”

“You weren’t in your trailer?” Jared asks, his eyes widening. Hehadn’t even thought about checking ifJensen was there or not.

“No. There was a problem with how the makeup looked on screen so I had to doa scene again. You didn’t knock?”

“I- Yeah, I knocked, I just- Ithought maybe you were busy” Jared tries to laugh it off, but heknows he’s not convinced. He’s a really good actor, but when itcomes to lying, he’s pretty awful at it.

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course”

Jaredpushes himself aside, letting Jensen enter his trailer. They’re gonna talk. This is it. This isthe moment.

“Listen, Jared-“

“I’m sorry”

Jensenfrowns at Jared’s words, much to Jared’s confusion.

“Why are you sorry for? I’m the one who fucked up”

“What? No, you didn’t” Jared says, “I-Listen, whathappened during the scene-“

“Was unprofessional” Jensen finishes “It- We’re colleagues, and we’re… It was indecent, rude, and it putus in a really awkward situation so I wanted to apologize”

“Apologize?” Jared repeats. His heart breaksknowing how disgusted Jensen is with the situation, but he can’t blame him. He just can’t understand why Jensen isapologizing.

“For… You know, getting hard while wewere filming?” Jensen says, biting his lips

“I got hard during that scene” Jared corrects him “I-I’m the one who did that”

“What? No, I did”

“You were hard?”

“Yeah. You were too?”

“Yeah” Jared admits, a little laughescaping his lips.

Jensenlaughs too, all the tension leaving his body, and Jared quickly followshim,until they both burst into laughter.

“Dude, I thought I fucked up” Jensen says “I thought you hated me”

“I thought you hated me too”

They laugha little more, all the awkwardness from the past few weeks disappearing.Knowing that Jensen had the same problem as him makes Jared feel lighter. Atleast, he’s not a freak, or if he is, then sois Jensen.

“So, we’re good, right?” Jared asks, just to be sure

“Yeah, we’re good Padalecki”

Jensensmiles again before walking toward the door. But instead of opening it, he juststays in front of it, his hand on the handle.

“Hey, can I- Can I ask what… you know, got this reaction?”

“Oh” Jared can feels his cheeks burning,and he quickly drops his head, hiding behind his bangs “Just, I don’t know, the tension from filming, Iguess. And you?”

“Yeah, the tension, too” Before Jared can realize what is happening,Jensen is in his personal space, He’d never seen Jensen so closely, except whenthey were filming and he was Sam at the time, not Jared. “I mean, your ass had a lot to dowith it, too”

“My-My what?”

“Ass” Jensen whispers, his hands slidingbehind Jared before touching his ass softly, leaving room for Jared to leave ifhe wants. “I’m not reading this wrong, am I?”

“No, you’re not” Jared admits, bringing his headcloser to Jensen. He doesn’t know what to do.  Doesn’t know what they should or shouldn’t do, but luckily, he doesn’t have to think about it any longer,Jensen’s lips are already pressed againsthis.

Jared doesn’t waste time over thinking this, andright away, opens his mouth so Jensen can slide his tongue in.

It’s hot and messy, Jensen’s hands squeezing his ass hardernow, bringing him as close as possible while a moan escapes Jared’s lips. It’s good, so good, better than anygirl he ever been with, their bodies working together, dancing together likethey were born to it.  

Jensenpushes him down the hall, into the bedroom and gently onto the bed, their kissnever breaking.  He starts to undresshim, kissing every part of his skin. When he starts to lick his nipple, Jaredmoans again, his legs closing around Jensen, bringing their cocks closer.

“Have you ever…?”

“With a man? No” Jared admits “But I want to. If-If it’s ok with you”

“You’re too adorable for your own good,you know that?” Jensen laughs, kissing Jared again.

Jensen getsrid of his own clothes, and the next thing Jared knows, they’re both naked.  He can see everything; the freckles on Jensen’s chest and shoulders, his pinknipples, his really big dick, thats rubbing against his.  Jared’s mouth waters when he thinks abouttaking it in his mouth. Maybe another time.

“Condoms?” Jensen asks, biting on Jared’s neck

“In- In the-the nightstand”

Jensenreaches in and takes a condom out before searching for the lube.

The firstfinger against his rim makes him jump a little, but Jensen helps him relax,sweet talking in his ear while working him open slowly.

“So good, Jay, so good” Jensen whispers, biting Jared’s lobe “Think you’re ready for more?”

“Yeah, please Jensen, more”

Jensenobliges, pushing a second finger inside Jared before moving a little deeper,searching for Jared’s sweet spot.

He knows hefinds it when Jared screams his name, his whole body convulsing with pleasure.

It doesn’t take long before Jared begs formore again, and after pushing a third finger, Jensen finally lines himself upwith Jared’s entrance.

“Ready?” He asks, Jared’s legs still around him

“Yeah”

“If it hurts, we can stop”

“Come on Jen, just do it”

Jensenrolls his eyes and carefully, starts to press inside Jared.

There’s no word strong enough to describewhat Jared is feeling. It hurts a little, but Jensen is gentle. He tries tofocus on everything else. On the fact that Jensen is inside of him, reallyinside, where no one else has ever been.

In a normalsituation, he wouldn’t have done it. Wouldn’t have slept with a guy for thefirst time, or at all, after just one kiss. But Jensen… Jensen is perfect. He makes himfeel whole, and right now, they’re finally one, and a peacefulfeeling is spreading inside of Jared.

“You can move” He says after a few moments.

“You’re so tight” Jensen moans, rocking his hipsslowly “Just for me, right, Jay?”

“Just for you”

Jensenrocks into him faster and stronger, hitting Jared’s sweet spot in the process, andJared can’t remember a time when he screamedso hard, when he’d had so much pleasure while having sex.

Not oncedoes Jensen stops kissing him, telling him how good and perfect he is.

When it’s finally over, they lay on Jared’s bed for an hour, cuddling andkissing as much as they can.

“It’s not- It’s not a one time thing, right?” Jared asks, tracing Jensen’s freckles with his fingers

“No. I mean, unless you want it to be”

“I don’t” Jared hurries to say “But I don’t want it to interfere with the show”

“It won’t, I promise. We’re just… releasing some tension, you know?” Jensen rubs Jared’s back gently “I mean, as long as we keep doing ituntil the show ends, we’re good”

“It sounds like a contract” Jared laughs

“It is” He admits, “And all good contracts end with akiss”

Jaredlaughs again, but lets Jensen kisses him anyway.

He hopesthe show will be picked up for another season.

beta by @debivc78​

[gulmoregirls]

Hey! Sorry for the lack of updates — there’s no excuse this time. I just kind of forgot to post, mostly because nothing overly exciting happened (with the hype and high point of s3 ending, the dean thing didn’t motivated me enough to come here express my hate)

But anyway, here i am! I can’t even remember when i stopped here. So, the good old recap it is.

Luke and Lorelai finally happening, little by little in s4, is everything we ever wanted. My mom was really glad, cause we are huge javajunkies here in this house. Kirk is becoming more and more my favorite character ever. He’s so extra it’s everything.

If that’s wasn’t established before, lemme make it clearer — Rory Gilmore is cancelled. She’s SO out of character, it’s annoying. College Rory is by far not what anyone expected based on previous experiences, and that includes me and my mom. Specially with the whole Dean thing. But that’s REALLY something, so I’m gonna elaborate on that.

For good part of the season Dean has been being mentioned as a good guy, rory’s sweet ex who her ex classmates remember. It’s just annoying! This entire arc with Dean makes no sense — I mean, I know Rory was a bit lost and needed someone comfortable she knew and who she knew wouldn’t challenge her enough. Just something old and familiar. BUT THE OLD AND FAMILIAR BOY IS MARRIED. And the famous smart Rory (season 1 rory) would never do such thing. It was terrible. Poor Lindsay!! She deserved so much better than an idiot as her unfaithful husband. It just disgusts me. In my opinion, it was not necessary to ruin Deans character like that. He could be remembered as the sweet first love that did his best, but instead asp made him a total jerk, and that’s the memory that sticks. And if Rory had to be so out of herself — go thru come kind of crises of something — i’d rather she had took off with jess instead. at least he wasn’t married and truly loved her. Not that wish it had happened — would be just as random as sleeping with a married guy. But between getting together with the married ex and running away with the unpredictable one, i guess the less problematic alternative is really obvious.

Before we pass to the 5th season, let’s discuss jess then. I love his evolution. Wish we had seen it more closely in his spin-off. How he agrees to be at Liz’s wedding after everything he went through with her. And the way he reads Luke’s self-help/relationship books and decides to take an action. Even tho it was kind of crazy, it shows inniciative and I’ll give him that. Ignore this if you think that’s just a jess mariano supremacist saying shit.

OKAY SEASON FIVE

Lorelai and Luke ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🤧💝

best part of the season by far.

Somehow, Rory’s relationship with Dean managed to be just as crappy as it was when he was married. Why couldn’t they just move on, right? It was annoying and the last drop that made us hate rory. don’t mind me — i can hate her and love her at the same time. She’s so stupid my crackhead heroin addicted daughter.

Even tho I’m not a team Logan, his appearance helped. He challenged Rory and made her realize that the world is more than that Dean-bubble she was in. During this season i could easily see myself as a sophies.

Then, of course, there’s the proof of how Rory can be DUMB. dropping out of Yale. Season six now.

How she refugees at her grandparent’s at the first sign of trouble and even so finds herself so independent, and the way she cuts off her mom just for wanting what’s best for her. Immature and spoiled.

Besides that, it bugs me that Logan was right there by her side and did NOTHING. Literally, the only thing he did was say that “in less than a month she would be back”. When that month passed by, he did nothing — possibly didn’t even noticed. In fact, I guess he was kind of liking her new life. After all, she did started to have more time for him. That’s probably why i don’t like their relationship (more reasons to come). Rory started to act as if she was him and completely lost track of her true self - even more than before. In her Chilton graduation she says that the person the most wanted to be was Lorelai, but she ended becoming the exact opposite, Emily. The DAR, the maids, dropping out of school, not battling for her stuff, just accepting and BESIDES THIS, acting all superior/wild and stealing a boat. THATS NOT HER. Ok, I get that she was upset because of Mitchum, but it’s not an excuse to that behavior. Plus, the real Rory Gilmore would have used his words as motivation to work even harder and prove him wrong.

In how many languages can you say THANK YOU, JESS ??????

He made her open her eyes - finally - and get her shit back together. He was so important!! And besides, the way he has made his life?? CAN YOU SAY CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT????? LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE ON THE BACK!!!!

Lemme tell you, he is doing better than rory — who would have thought, right? The punk hoodlum rebel who dropped out of highschool was doing better than the private school girl straight As girl who got into Yale. And he’s happier too. Guy wrote a fucking book after several problematic life scenarios and is now working with people he likes doing what he has always loved. Ughhhh he has my entire heart.

Paul Anka, BTW!! love him 🤧😍

I also love how Lorelai proposed to Luke. They are goals. When she saw how much he cared for Rory, she was sure. In fact, maybe she was already sure, just needed a little push. And then all the signs and the snow!! I almost cried.

Now the Logan thing again. I like him — I swear!! I know it seems like i hate him and maybe i did when i first watched it, but now i see he is not that bad. But their relationship- nah. They’re annoying and rory has her weight on that, but that’s not just it. They’re cute, but there’s something missing. AND HE CHEATED ON HER. His story doesn’t match. It’s bad enough to break up with someone without them knowing. In fact, it’s REALLY bad. Rory was so confused and devastated. He should be more mature than that. Than ok, he says is just something he said Honor to make her stop talking. But then he sleeps with the bridesmaids. If he was honest with Rory and really didn’t mean it when he said they were broken up, then he TRULY cheated on Rory. If he lied about that, then he really decided that they were apart on his own. Their fight wasn’t even that serious, and he didn’t even reach out to her after that. The way she found out both times — through someone else — that is just wrong. Then he crows back buying her with money and stuff he knows she loved and she suddenly forgives him and moves in with the guy. Wrong too, ugh. Paris’ speech about Logan was everything. We deserved healing Paris and Rory growing their friendship together for more than five minutes.

I said she forgave him, right? Well, maybe not after all, because she wants a little revenge and decides to play with someone else’s real feelings. cold!! baby deserves better ); and then he gets into an accident and it’s all forgotten. ok....

just here to say that jess deserved recognition. He was the whole reason Rory came back and he did something great with his life. Still Lorelai sees him as the immature 17 yo he was. We were robbed of a great duo, them both. Their humor is really alike, a shame...

APRIL.

Poor girl, she doesn’t deserves all the hate. It’s not her fault duuuh

Asp could have made up something better for Luke this season. I think the storyline was a little non-sense and Luke, my sweet baby, gained my hate too.

Well, maybe not HATE but yeah i get where he’s coming from but it’s no excuse to lie to Lorelai and ruin their relationship. It was a pitty, really.

Then Lorelai coming to chris! what a breakdown huh? I guess it was expected, but i really hated it.

[atruewinchesterlife]

Winchester sister.

You never really felt like a proper sister to sam and dean, they never treat you the same as they do each other. They patch each other up, they put them selfs in danger to protect the other. Hell they would even die for each other and they have several times but not for you, you always seem to be sat in back ground forgotten about, left to patch you self up after hunts, to watch them sacrifice them selfs for each other. You always wonder if its because of something you did one day, maybe it was because they blamed your dads death on you, or maybe just because you were born from a different women to them, breaking what little they had left of a normal family. But you never felt more alone and hurt than you do now, you are currently left laying on the floor of a dirty basement alone, in pain, bleeding and slipping in and out of consciousness.

*2 hours earlier* You, Sam and Dean are now in the basement that you tracked the nest of vampires that you were hunting to. There is about five or six of them that you know of but there are four in the nest now. Sam is fighting of one of them, Dean another, when you see one come charging at you, you try fighting back but another creeps up behind you and hits you in the head. After pulling your self back up of the floor one of them throws you across the room into a beam causing a great pain. You can see Dean had cut of the head of the one he was struggling with but instead of helping you with the two vamps that were closing in on you again he went over to help Sam. Before you could shout for help you felt one stepping on your wrist the other on your ankle, slowly adding more pressure so you can feel you bones starting to crack under it. Letting out the loudest scream you ever thought possible, hoping that it would at least get your brothers attention but they don’t even look at you, you can see then finish of the last vampsand then leave the basement with out you, patting each other on the back for doing well, leaving you behind.

*2 hours after* You’re not sure how you you’ve been laid here but after you saw your brothers leaving you behind, one more vampire returned and bit you drinking some of your blood causing you to pass out. When you came round they weren’t there anymore, they probably thought they’d done enough to kill you. You’re starting to think they might have done, you can feel yourself getting weaker. Knowing that you left your phone behind in the impala, so that it wouldn’t get broken. You don’t know what else to do, you never liked asking for help, it made you feel weak, but what else can you do right now. With tears running down your face, even that causing you pain, you start praying for cas. Just when you feel the darkness taking over you again you see cas, here to help you.

Before you know it you at in the bunker, in cas’s arms he moves you over to the big comfy chair, just after healing you your brothers turn up. “Hey cas.” They both greet the angel. Castiel can feel the anger start to rise in him even more, how could they just ignore you like that. “Hey! Are you kidding me! Do you not see your sister she is in so much pain i can feel it from her! That is after i have healed her, she was dying When she called begging me for help, i found her on the brink of death!! Do you want to know what injuries she had, she had a broken ankle and wrist and ribs, almost a broken back! Along with a large wound to her head which she was bleeding out from! Oh and them vampires drank her blood! And you just left her there, what makes you think that you can do this to your sister!!” He can see they guilty look on the brothers face, but at this point, guilt wasn’t enough. “We didn’t realise, we were caught up in the adrenaline from the hunt. I feel awful now.” Sam says to the angel, while dean just stands there silent, with a straight look on his face, making castiel start talking again. “To right you should feel bad. What about you dean, do you just not care about her at all, because thats what she thinks, what did she ever do to you. Do you know what she thinks, she thinks that you hate her for been born, for having the same dad as you. She thinks that her very existence ruined your lives and you hate for it.” “I dont hate her.” Dean whispers finally making eye contact with angel. “Well maybe you can show that some times. Im going to take her to her bed and let her rest while i go check whats happening in heaven. Do you think, for the next few hours till i come back you can keep checking thats shes still alive, you know, if you don’t forget.” Castiel tells them before leaving to your room while carrying you. The brothers have never heard cas talk to them, or anyone, like that before but they knew they deserved it.

When you wake you, you find your self in your bed still in pain but nowhere near as much as before. Taking note to thank cas later, you start thinking about what to do now, deciding that its best for every on if you left, you start packing your bag. They probably wont even notice your gone, let alone miss you, but it will hurt you less if your not near them just for them to ignore you. The winchesters have always said family came first and with your dad that was true, but with your brothers not so much , its just them. You’ve always heard your brother tell people ‘family don’t end in blood and doesn’t start there either’ to everyone he tried welcoming into your family, even the king of hell. But with you thats obviously not the case because you are blood but clearly not family to them. Just like your other brother Adam, you’ve never been able to forget about him, he was your third big brother, but you were just a kid there was nothing you could do to help him. They just forgot about him, another sibling they never think about, as long as they have each other no one else matters. You’re just about finished packing up your stuff, not that its much, just enough to fill one bag. When your thoughts are interrupted by someone opening the door. Not even bothering to hide your bag you zip it up and get your jacket. “Hey, what are you doing.” You hear sams soft voice ask, making a familiar comfort come over you, almost make your change your mind. You turn to look at him dean stood beside him blocking the door way. you feel the tears build up in your eyes, not wanting to leave, but knowing you have to. “What does it look like, I’m leaving, you don’t even notice I’m here most of time. And based on whats happened today, you clearly wont miss me.” “Thats not true Y/N, yes we get too caught up in thinking about each other, it was always just me and sam thats how we were brought up. But that’s no excuse your our little sister, dad wouldn’t want you going of by your self. Your our family.” Dean almost pleads with you. “Your right dad wouldn’t want me going of by myself, but he also wouldn’t want you treating me like this. Making me sit by while you two die over and over again for each other and then leaving me to die alone! So don’t you dare tell me what dad would want! I am only your sister when you want me to be, when you need my help getting stitched up or to help on a difficult hunt. Do you know how many times before today that I’ve needed your help and you haven’t been there! Just like you weren’t for Adam.” You start letting all your feelings out. “You’ve hated me since i was born for ruining what you had left of a family, So just forget about me completely, just like you have him.” Your cry unable to stop you sobs anymore. Your brothers have tears running down there faces to, a very rare sight. You try walking past them but Sam pulls you into his arms hugging you and not letting go. “Im so sorry Y/N, we both are we love you. Please dont leave, i know what we’ve done should never be forgiven. And we do still think about Adam but there is nothing we can do to help him, I’m so sorry. We don’t hate you at all you are our little sister and we are so sorry we treated you like this. I know dad would be so disappointed in us and we don’t deserve to be forgiven but please try, please. We would both end up dead without you here.” You hear sam sobbing, unsure of when Dean joined the hug, you can feel both there tears on you shoulder “Please Y/N ,one more chance, please. We promise. Please” dean begs, which is something you’ve never heard before, not even when sam left for college. “Okay one more, but if you break those promises i am gone because i cant keep living like this” you give in still wanting to stay in the safety of your brothers company again.

******************************

Sorry if this is bad, this my first time posting my own writing.

[brokenwinchesterr]

@sammiielli @fan-fiction-galore This is my piece for the Dog Days of Summer Writing Challenge. This is the first piece that I’ve actually posted that’s about a wrestler. I will admit I had a bit of difficulty writing this because I couldn’t decide on who to write for and then I was afraid that it would be too out of character but fuck it, yolo. The following list were my prompts:

Quote 7: Wait no I didn’t-I didn’t mean it like that!

Location 12: The side of the road in the desert

Situation 1: The car has broken down and you two are fighting.

I would love feedback but please, make sure it’s creative criticism and not hate/complaints because honestly I don’t have time for that. Normally I do not get anything like that but I know wrestling fans tend to be a bit crazy( I mean that in the nicest way possible.)

Pairing: Marty Scurll x Reader, Pete Dunne x Reader; Word Count: 3,562 Warnings: mentions of smut, mentions of suicide A/N: Literally just repeating myself, I would LOVE feedback.

Below the cut you shall find probably the greatest fic I have ever written.

Having a bunch of siblings wasn't a bad thing. Until they tried to gang up on you. Y/N was one of the youngest of six children. Jack is the eldest with Ethan being a year younger. Then comes Danielle who is two years younger than Ethan with Jessica being a year younger than her. Y/N also has a twin brother named Marcus who was nine minutes younger than her. Jessica and Danielle were begging her to go to the party that Jack and Ethan were throwing in a house that they rented in the desert.

" Please Y/N, it’s the last party we’ll be able go to before we have to leave for work.’’ Jess begged

“ And it’s most likely the last time we’ll see you for a while since you’re leaving to Japan.’’ Dani added

‘’ You already know my opinion about it. With the way Marty’s being I don't know if I want to go anymore,’’ y/n responded, ''besides, I don't want to go to a party to get drunk when I have to get on a 17 hour flight the next night!”

" You know Jess she is kinda right.. It's hot as shit, there's gonna be people we don't wanna see, and we all have flights tomorrow.'' Danielle spoke, turning to face her younger sister.

 " Even if Marty wasn't going there would still be people you don't want to see.'' Jessica responded. "Regardless, we're still going.”

" Jack and Ethan aren't really going to care, I see them all the time in Japan.'' Y/N threw the dish rag down.

" That's besides the point! I already told Seth we're coming so we're gonna go! End of discussion!'' Jess shouted as she picked up her laundry basket and stormed up to her room.

"Y'know even though I'm the oldest I still feel compelled to listen to her.'' Danielle said, shaking her head.

" Shut the fuck up you goofball!" Y/N laughed,'' let's go get ready; lord knows you take the longest.''

Once Jess decided to open the door, the three girls walked into her closet and began to get ready. 

Y/N had decided to go with a simple, chic outfit paired with her black converse. She left her ombré hair in its natural state and did a soft pink/nude eyeshadow look.

Danielle’s outfit was on the more intricate side. She wore a white tank top with lace on the bottom and black skinny jeans with a rip under her butt. She claimed it was ‘in’ right now. She wore American flag toms with her hair in two upside-down braided space buns. She completed the look with a glitter winged eyeliner and some obvious false eyelashes and a shimmery red lip.

Jessica’s outfit was the most formal of the three. She wore a mauve pink dress with crossed straps near the neckline. She wore pink strappy sandals that matched the color of her dress. She wore her collarbone length hair in very loose curls. Ot looked almost wind blown.For her makeup she did a light lid with a darker burgundy crease. She finished off her makeup with an intense wing and a shimmery salmon lip.

“ What time do we have to leave?’’ Dani asked, double checking herself in the mirror.

“ And is Seth coming to get us or what?’’ Y/N added.

“No, Seth’s not but he told me he sent someone to come and get us.’’ Jess said.

“ Dude then it could be literally anyone! Do you know how many people they invited!” Dani exclaimed.

“ And literally anyone literally means literally anyone because Jack and Ethan have both worked for so many different promotions. It’s crazy,’’ Y/N spoke messing around on her phone,“Let’s hope it’s not Marty.’’

The person who picked them up had turned out to be Dean Ambrose, which was a complete shock to Jess, but a pleasant surprise to Dani and Y/N.

“How are things with Renee?” Y/N asked. She hadn't seen Dean in a few years with her working in Japan and all.

“Things are going pretty good. Nothing’s really changed except the fact that we have official husband and wife titles y’know?” He said a smile gracing his features. He seemed to be truly happy, and Y/N was glad for him. A comfortable silence settled over thee four as they listened to whatever was on the radio.

Before they knew it they had arrived at the house in the middle of freaking no where that Jack and Ethan had somehow found for them to use. Ethan claimed that the dude he rented it from said it belonged to his girlfriends grandparents.

The had been brought over early to help set up the actual party. Jack thought that him, Ethan, Seth, and Dean weren't enough.

“ Make sure the lights are even you two! Fuckin’ Jackasses’’ They heard Jack shout at Ethan and Seth. He turned around and saw that they had arrived.

“ Finally! I’m pretty sure even with you three we’re still not gonna have enough help so I asked another three people who are CAPABLE!’’ Jack said directing the last part of the sentence to the two ‘jackasses’.

Jack assigned Dani to the food table, Jess to the drink table, and left Y/N to help out wherever was needed because ‘everyone is on drugs that makes ‘em fuckin’ stupid’ so she ended up talking with Dean for most of the time as he strung streamers and lights. Not even 10 minutes after they all got to work they heard a knock at the door signaling the other helpers had arrived.. Jack all but ran to open it. Pete Dunne, Tyler Bate, and Trent Seven walked in the door. When he told them all that he brought more help, Y/N was once again shocked at who he had invited. Dani let out a gasp of joy and jumped on Trent who she always claimed she didn't like that way.

Y/N looked back to Dean and resumed their conversation which had taken a turn from relationships to old matches during his time in CZW and hers in TNA.

“ TNA was one of the worst promotions I’ve worked for. They always fucked me over when it came to gimmicks and shit.  But I guess thats just my opinion.’’ She spoke trying to ignore the the brit who kept his gaze locked on her.

“ The CZ wasn’t much nicer. Fighting tooth an nail y’know, just to keep your job. It was always good havin’ Callihan ‘round though.’’ He replied nodding as he strung another light strand. They stood in a comfortable silence as Dean hung the final strand and wrapped up the rest of the light strands, deeming the ones that were hung around enough.

“I’m gonna go get Renee real quick and I’ll be back.’’ He said as he grabbed his jacket from it’s place on the couch and began to walk toward the door. 

He paused as he rested his hand on the door knob “Don’t let ‘em get too into your head kid.’’ He added turning back around and tapping his temple.

As Y/N watched Deans retreating figure she felt a weight on her shoulder. She turned around and was met face to face with the man she had no hopes of ever seeing again.

“Hello there love. It’s been a while.” Pete said with his signature smirk.

“You have 30 seconds to tell me what the hell you’re doing here!” She growled.

“I’m here for the party. Why else would I be here?’’

“With you, who knows.’’ She narrowed her eyes.

“ Well since I'm here, I mean, I guess I should show you.’’ He retorted.

“ Show me what?” She responded, a quizzical look on her face.

Pete scoffed as he pulled his phone out of her pocket. He quickly unlocked it and opened his camera roll. He scrolled for a few seconds before he found the picture he was looking for. He passed it over to Y/N.

“I’m sorry tha’ you had to find out this way, love, but someone had to show you,’’ he spoke as he shrugged.

She looked at the screen at what seemed to be Marty half naked all over another girl. “ What the fuck is this.’’ She whispered to herself.

Marty had spent the better half of the past few weeks trying to convince her that he didn't cheat on her but that it was only one big misunderstanding. But why would Pete, a man who she may or may not have once had feelings for be telling her this? So she asked him.

“ I don’t want you to take him back if he’s gonna lie to you about cheating. Y’know British people tend to be liars.’’ He said in a sort of passive aggressive way. Y/N shook her head dismissively.

It was a good reason though. The one thing that threw Y/N off though, was that it was Pete. He normally did not have this sort of kindness in his heart. She silently handed the phone back to him and whispered ,” Thanks..’’ then she walked away, head hung low. Why was this happening.

The party was in full swing by the time that Dean had returned with Renee. It has also been a while after the ordeal Y/N had with Pete and Dean immediately knew; some shit had just gone down. He left Renee with Danielle and Jess. He had to push his way through the bodies that were scattered around the house drinking and dancing. Y/N was sitting on the steps that led to the backyard of the house.

He didn't plan on being gone that long. When he went to get Renee her parents were there and they wanted to talk. They talked for a while. It was great to see them also. 

Dean had missed hanging out with Y/N. They had always been great friends. He was also always protective of her. Another brother nearly.

He made his way to the steps and sat next to Y/N. The breeze passed through the door way, causing chills to go up her spine.

“What happened while I was gone?” He asked.

“ Marty lied.’’ 

“ According to who?”

“ Pete.’’

“ That should be the red light in your brain telling you he's probably fuckin’ lying. You know that right? That’s how he is. He’s one ruthless son of a bitch. Remember last time you were in contact with him’’ Dean spoke shaking his head.

“ I know. That really has nothing to do with lying though.’’ Y/N replied looking out into the desert as the oranges and yellows of the setting sun cascaded across the land.

“ Then why the hell-’’ He paused. “ You love him? Still?”

“ I don’t know.’’

“ C’mon. Let’s go get a drink. You need to relax.’’

She had grabbed a double whiskey with a coke. She was ready to forget. She was ready to get shit-faced. She knew that as long as her brothers were around, including Dean, she’d be okay. She drank for the better part of two hours. Before someone started passing around a pipe.

Y/N, Trent, Dani, Baron Corbin, Renee and Dean, Marcus, and Shinsuke all sat on the couches and chairs in the corner of the room. Marcus packed the bowl and handed it to Y/N

Dani spoke up whining, “ How come Y/N gets it first.’’

“ Tradition.’’ Dean responded ad Y/N lit the bowl and took a hit. She passed it back to Marcus and it went in a counter clockwise order. Once it got to Dean Renee looked a little flushed.

“ Have you never smoked before?” Y/N asked her.

“ No,’’ She laughed,’’ I’m a good person. I hardly ever party.’’

“ Quite a surprise considering who your husband is.’’ Baron interjected, causing the group to laugh.

“I agree.’’ Shinsuke added.

“ I would honestly recommend having Dean blow it into your mouth. It might be easier, less intimidating.’’ Marcus said looking art Renee who still looked a bit nervous. She nodded, not really knowing much about the topic.

She took the hit well but coughed as it came out.

“ At least we know you can inhale right.’’ Y/N nodded.

They continued passing the pipe until it got to Dani who offered it to Trent, and he claimed he was there for moral support for her as he pat her head handing it back to Y/N. 

She doesn't know why she decided to get into the car with him. She didn't know why she decided to get into the car with him drunk. Maybe it was the fact that she was also under the influence. Things could go wrong very quickly. They had both wanted to go home and thought why the hell not. Pete’s hotel wasn't very far from Y/N’s apartment; so he gave her a ride. 

“The roads are pretty straight. Its like four o’clock in the mornin’. Who would be out at this time of night? We’ll be fine.’’ Pete spoke as he struggled to get the key into the ignition.

Once the car was started Pete then struggled to get it into the right gear. After that was accomplished they began to drive. They sat in a mostly comfortable silence until Y/N broke it.

“ Why did you do it?”

“ Do what?” Pete responded, it obviously taking all of his focus to drive.

“ Leave that night.’’ 

It came out as an unintentional whisper. They had had a night out at the bar with some of the other wrestlers at Progress. This was the time in her life right after her father committed and her and her siblings weren't talking, blaming each other almost, for his premature death. That’s when her and Dean got closer. He was there. He was there to stop her from bashing Danielle’s head into the table when she crashed a WWE roster lunch. He was there when Pete went from a possible lover to being referred to as a one night stand. 

Tyler, Pete, Trent, and Mark Andrews were the ones Y/N knew the best at the time, so she hung with them that night. They weren’t drunk. No where near, but there was a buzz that she felt in her head. Y/N and Pete had been shamelessly flirting, which is akin to his character, so when she said that she wanted to go home, he was the first to offer to take her home. They had taken a taxi to the bar so they decided to walk home instead of waiting for another taxi to come and get them. They’d have waited inside but Tyler and Trent were currently in the midst of who’s mustache is better and the argument was getting quite tiresome.

The walk was short. No room for conversation. Before they knew it they had arrived to the front door of the apartment that Y/N was staying in for the time being.

“ Thank you for walking me home.’’ She said looking down at the ground. She was afraid if she’d continue to look at him he’d notice the blush that had arose to her cheeks. 

“ Of course, love. I wouldn't be a gentleman if I let you walk home alone in the dark, now would I?” He responded, smirk resting on his features, but almost in a more gentle manner.

“ Would you like to come in?” Y/N suddenly asked, a boost of confidence overtaking her.

“ I’d love to.’’

What ensued after was something they’d speak only about to one another. They had shared a bed, in more than one way. It wasn't supposed to be a one night stand, not in Y/N’s eyes. When she woke up in the morning, he was gone, and she didn't hear from him for days. She didn't see him at the gym, she didn't see him with Trent and Tyler. It seemed like he straight up disappeared. She got home from the gym that night and sat at her kitchen table. She sighed. Her phone went off signaling she got a message. It was from Dean. He was asking her to come back to the states. To the WWE. To wrestle.

Y/N didn't know what to do. She wanted Pete. She loved everything about him. His smile, his hair, even his asshole gimmick. But after the events that had happened previously, she wasn't sure. She knew what was right though. So she texted Dean yes and booked the soonest flight to Florida.

A pop and the decompression of air brought her out of her thoughts. She was hoping he wouldn't try to revive the conversation.

“ You have got to be fuckin’ kidding me.’’ Pete said exasperatedly.

“ Flat tire?” Y/N asked looking out her window at the tire.

“ Probably, but we can't call a tow truck, AAA, or anything, they'd call the cops for drunk driving.’’ He responded shutting off the vehicle, Throwing the keys onto the dashboard.

Y/N got out wrapping her arms around herself. Once the sun had set, the temperature had dropped a good amount. Pete matched her actions.

“ Cold?” He asked looking up at Y/N.

“ No.’’ She lied.

Pete scoffed and pulled off his sweater handing it to her, which she took gratefully. He was always kind to her. She loved the smell of him.

 “ Did you eva love me?” Pete asked, his eyes glossed over from all the alcohol that was still in his system.

The pair stood to the side of the road next to the passenger side of the car.

“How can you even ask that?” Y/N asked, confusion in her eyes which were also red and glossy from the drinking and smoking.

Now, Y/N was not a drug addict. She didn't get high every morning before going to workouts, she didn't drink every night when she got home, she wasn't irresponsible when it came to that sort of thing. A little relaxing every once in a while in with the lifestyle they lived, was a blessing.

“ Just tell me the truth!” He shouted, definitely feeling the alcohol again,” did you eva love me?”

“ I don't know!” She shouted back, her voice quaking.

“ You were my best friend! My favorite person,’’ Pete paused, taking in a breath,  “ and you left me! You walked away! You think somehow I was just fine? Tha’ it was all okay? Tha’ I wasn't dying inside?”

“No! No, okay, you weren't. Not like me! You were coping, you were okay, I couldn't even..’’ Y/N huffed.

“ I wasn't coping.. I was covering.’’

“ Covering for what?”

“ Covering the fact that I was in love with you! That I am, in love with you.’’

A silence settled over the two. Pete looked to his feet and saw the ground sway beneath him. This was not the time to be having a conversation like this.

Y/N scoffed.“ What pisses you off so much? That I chose to go after the thing I needed to heal? Or that the thing I needed wasn't you!” “ Do not bring him into this! It doesn't matter that the thing you needed wasn't me! its the fact tha’ no matter what he does to you, you always run back.’’

Y/N was at a loss for what to say. Pete was right. She never questioned Marty. She allowed him to walk all over her. Maybe if things were different.. If life was different.. Things wouldn't have turned out this way. She felt the tears well in her eyes. He was right.

“ Wait, I didn't- I didn't mean it like tha’.. Look love, he’s toxic. He’ll-’’

“ Like you should be talking.’’ Y/N spoke letting the tear fall down her cheek.

Pete looked at her quizzically. “ What do you mean?”

“ You continually hurt me! At least he apologizes You broke me, Peter!  Marty had to put the pieces back together because once I was broke, I wasn't good enough for you anymore!” She shouted, the anger finally boiling over, “ That’s why you didn't stay, right, you realized that I was already breaking!”

Pete looked at her. He didn't say anything.

“ Say something,’’ Y/N screamed this time, “ God damn it say something.’’

He rushed forward and smashed his lips to hers. Talking wasn't going to fix this, not right now. Pete wouldn't be able to explain how he felt. He was bad with words but actions, those were another story. He turned and pressed her back to the car, placing one hand on the car and the other rested on her hip. He pulled away first. Pete went to move back, but Y/N had other plans. She grabbed him and smashed him back into the car and wrapped her arms around his middle, letting the sobs consume her. Pete didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around her as well as he lowered them to the ground. He pulled Y/N into his lap and began to stroke her hair.

“ It’ll be okay love, I promise. We’ll deal with Marty, we’ll sort us out. You always know what to do. You can be with him like you’ve always wanted.’’

“ That’s not what I want.’’ She sniffled, “ I’ve always wanted you.’’

“Always?”

“Always.’’

[mittensmorgul]

not only MP, now also misha said that cas will be back but we must consider there are also alternate universes, this is making me more nervous I don't want an alternate cas , all the character development and his history with dean lost, it's so upsetting :(

Yeah, I’ve had questions along this line, but I haven’t been able to really answer formally. Along these lines and also in my inbox this morning: (AN: all things in italics are other anon messages… sometimes my inbox helps me out with anons sort of answering each other… Eldritch Inbox):

Hello, i’m sorry if you answered this already, but i do have a question about a certain theory going about about the idea of an au!cas (possibly the one who got killed?) I guess i’m kind of confused about it and was wondering if you’ve either already spoken on it or can expand on the idea? thanks :)

and

Im worried now theyll just exchange Cas for AU cas and think thats fine because we still have the same actor. The flash did the same thing had the character leavd and brozgh the guys alernative version to stick around

and:

While I can see them (hopefully) using AU Cas in good way for a few eps (tho it doesn’t make sense because there would be no reason for JimmyCas in the other world, but they often don’t address stuff that doesn’t make sense well) I don’t think they would decide to not bring regular Cas back. They have 2 seasons left. I don’t think they would get rid of 1 of the mains. 50% if you counted Crowley. Tho they did that with Angel and the relationship on that show in the last season. Hmm.

Okay, I really, truly 100% honestly don’t think they’re going to use AU Cas at all as a replacement for OUR Cas. If the show is going to open up more alternate realities, I can see OUR Cas (and Sam and Dean) meeting those alternate universe versions for an episode here and there, if only to MIRROR what our Cas is going through, but WHY would they bring Cas THIS FAR in his story, to the point where HE HIMSELF has developed and grown and learned SO MUCH ABOUT HIMSELF, and been prodded by practically EVERY CHARACTER EVER about WHO HE IS and WHAT HE WOULD CHOOSE TO BE if they were just gonna toss him out and bring in replacement copies with entirely different life experiences?

We don’t just love the concept of what would essentially boil down to a random character wearing Misha’s face, WE LOVE OUR CAS. Who we’ve watched struggle FOR NINE DAMN YEARS to get to this point in his understanding of humanity, his compassion, his sense of family, and his LOVE for the Winchesters… like two steps before he was ready to make some BIG FINAL CHOICES for himself… And I can’t think of ANY reason for the writers to just erase ALL of that and start over with a “blank slate” version of Cas. Honestly if that’s what they’re planning to do, I would forever be officially done with this damn show.

Talk about your Jump The Shark moments.

BUT! Considering the Cas we saw on screen looked identical to our Cas, down to the coat and tie, and the fact that the Apocalypse AU didn’t look like they had a Dillard’s, I’m assuming that we have not met a Castiel from that AU. What reason would he have for looking like Jimmy Novak in our Castiel’s outfit when AU Bobby looked the way he did, and when AU demons LOOKED like demons (not possessed humans), and when we heard AU angels were human-hating monsters too… Something tells me AU Cas would look NOTHING like Jimmy in suit and tie. It just makes no logical sense.

Even MAGIC in that AU didn’t seem to work properly. Crowley’s spell didn’t seem to be what closed the portal. It was the nephilim’s birth that closed it.

Which brings me back around to the beginning of the line (just like the structure of the episode, and the meta-ness of the title– a song that ends at the beginning…)

Kelly grabs Cas’s hand, after he’s seen the AU that the nephilim SHOWED HIM SPECIFICALLY, of what the world without the Winchesters would look like– remember in 12.09 when Cas was ADAMANT that the world needs every last Winchester? And he was willing to break cosmic-level deals to make sure the world could keep its Winchesters? To me, in this scene where Kelly needs reassurance about Castiel’s “vision of the future” the nephilim showed him, that is something that’s ALSO forefront on his mind:

Kelly: Tell me again. Tell me again what you saw.Cas: All right. I saw… I saw (he closes his eyes and concentrates on Kelly taking his hand in 12.19, exactly as she just did now)… I saw the future. (flashback to 12.19, with the nephilim’s power flowing through Cas and lighting his eyes up gold). I saw a world without pain, or hunger, or want. I saw the world that this child– that your child– will create. And it is a world without fear, and without suffering, and without hate. I saw paradise.

As he finishes recounting the memory for her, the lights flicker and we hear the Impala pulling up outside. Like the nephilim was alerting Cas to the Winchesters’ presence.

And then Cas learns that Lucifer isn’t in the cage. He can’t even believe it at first. So that’s something the nephilim obviously didn’t bother informing him about… Dean asks Cas if he’ll be able to torch Lucifer the same way he torched Dagon, and Cas attributes that 100% to the baby (who’s a little busy being born at the moment…). But in 12.19, Cas said it was a combination of their powers… so what’s the truth?

Even as Cas tells Dean that it was only the nephilim working through him, he heals Dean in a way that is VERY DIFFERENT from every other time in history. I’m not the only one who noticed. I refer you again to my inbox:

I think it’s interesting that literally seconds after Cas tells Dean he doesn’t have the nephilim’s power at his disposal, he heals Dean’s leg with the nephilim’s gold light. It makes me wonder if Cas has some of the nephilim’s power within him that could save him. OR when Cas healed Dean, maybe that power transferred to Dean. He seemed oddly invigorated after he was healed, ya know? Like more so than usual.

and:

Hi so when I was watching the second ep after Cas first left the alternate dimension I noticed he seemed a bit off. Do u think there’s any way that he was like possessed or something?

BECAUSE YES! HELLO! I’ve been saying that the nephilim has somehow been using Cas since 12.19. Maybe it’s not “brainwashing” or “mind control,” but I’ve been struggling to explain the nuance here. Maybe more like “infection?” or “poison?” In a similar way the Lance of Michael “poisoned” Cas in 12.12, But that’s not even right.

Like the Angel Tablet was able to direct Cas to protect it over everything else, even his relationship with the Winchesters, I think the nephilim has that kind of power over him. And that for whatever reason, he Chose Cas as his protector.

Cas also tried to prevent Sam and Dean from going out back and seeing the portal in the first place. And then he downplayed it while also being mesmerized by it. But he’s absolutely certain that Jack OPENED the door, and that he will close it too.

Cas then goes up to talk to Kelly alone, and she asks him what’s wrong… and it looks like he’s SINCERELY HAVING DOUBTS. While Dean’s downstairs telling Sam that he has faith in US… 

WE DO NOT SEE WHAT GOES DOWN BETWEEN CAS AND KELLY aside from him holding her hand AGAIN and sort of robotically saying, “Don’t worry, it will be fine. Remember, paradise.”

Did he tell her about the portal between worlds, and the horror on the other side of the doorway her child had opened? When Crowley showed up at the exact right moment, seemingly already knowing about the portal and exactly how to close it (in theory?) When Lucifer shows up out front (seemingly NOT already knowing about the portal?).

And Lucifer’s reasoning is the same as Amara’s was, and the same as Jack the Nephilim’s is– “I can do better than god, so I’m gonna burn the place down and start over to make the world just how I want it.”

Right before Cas attacks, Dean says, “See you on the other side, boys.”

THE OTHER SIDE.

The other side of the house… the other side of the portal.

THEIR PLAN, I CAN ONLY ASSUME, IS TO TRAP LUCIFER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PORTAL BEFORE JACK CAN CLOSE IT.

I think that’s what the nephilim WANTED. And also why he waited SO LONG to close it… because Crowley’s spell was never going to work there. But the nephilim wanted Sam and Dean and CAS TOO on THIS SIDE OF THE PORTAL. I think that AU was the nephilim’s solution to shoving Luci back in the cage. To send him to a world where his vessel bloodline is extinct. A world he can’t possibly destroy any more than it’s already destroyed. He wanted an apocalypse, that’s what Jack gave him.

Cas is knocked out in front of the house. I’m sort of enamored with the idea that he’s still unconscious out there, and the Cas we saw in the rest of the episode was nothing more than a construct– an illusion sent by Jack to act as a lure, for whatever reason. Because his actions after this are a bit confusing…

Sam and Dean lead Lucifer around to the portal and then cross over to lure Luci through. Dean plays bait while Sam and Crowley work the spell (why on THAT side of the rift? Why not on the “right side”?

Sam pulls Dean away to the rift as Crowley sacrifices himself, and for some reason they just stop there? They stand around watching Crowley’s demise. YET SOME VERSION OF CAS THAT DOESN’T EVEN RESPOND TO DEAN, JUST PUSHES PAST HIM AND SAYS NOTHING, just charges through the rift toward Lucifer, and then seemingly just– walks up to Lucifer, stabs him, and then turns right around and comes back out again?

All while Kelly DISAPPEARS ENTIRELY IN A FLASH OF LIGHT AS JACK IS “BORN?”

We see Lucifer completely unaffected by the bullets Dean shot him with in the AU, as if Cas hadn’t been expecting Lucifer to be able to follow him out for some reason…

Kelly’s body has mysteriously returned to the bed after the light flash, and Jack’s huddled in the corner of his nursery staring up at Sam with those creepy yellow eyes.

I think Jack’s been using Cas all along, ever since 12.19, and I have seen nothing to break me of that belief.

It’s as if every time Cas gets near Sam and Dean, Jack loses a little bit of that control though. But Jack understands that Dean is both necessary as a motivation for Cas (he does everything for the Winchesters, not for heaven, not even for himself), as well as a potential risk. It’s as if Dean is what’s opening up Cas’s “doorways to doubt,” that he told Dean about in 4.16, right after Uriel told Dean that he was Cas’s “weakness.”:

DEAN: What’s going on, Cas? Since when does Uriel put a leash on you?CASTIEL: My superiors have begun to question my sympathies.DEAN: Your sympathies?CASTIEL: I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You. They feel I’ve begun to express emotions. The doorways to doubt. This can impair my judgment.

Then in 4.18 Cas relents and gives Dean the nudge in the right direction he needs to stop Sam from making a deal with Lilith (which could’ve potentially STOPPED the apocalypse, but that was before we knew killing Lilith would START it… but feels almost like a test of Cas’s loyalty to Heaven as much as anything, because that entire EPISODE seems in retrospect like a strange loop of Chuck getting to know the players in his own game), and leads directly to him being dragged back to Heaven Boot Camp for reprogramming.

When Cas comes back at the end of the episode, he’s changed. He serves heaven again, not man, and certainly not Dean…

I think Castiel’s “death” in 12.23 is serving the same sort of function. I’m thinking of it as Jack’s answer to Heaven Boot Camp. I am still absolutely convinced that Jack has been influencing Cas’s actions since 12.19, and that Cas is imbued with Jack’s power (hence the golden light when he healed Dean). There is no other explanation for it. Why else give Dean that little cut on his face that we got to see healed with that weird gold light, if it wasn’t to tell us that it was Jack’s power that healed him? It wasn’t clear in 12.19 because Cas was healing an internal injury beneath Dean’s jacket. We didn’t see that healing at work, because we were supposed to be asking ourselves whether or not Cas was being controlled by Jack still… but NOW WE HAVE VISUAL PROOF.

Why would Jack go through all this trouble to keep Cas close while keeping the Winchesters away unless they (or Dean, really) were interfering with that control somehow? Like Cas and his doubts in s4? And even in s5?

Like every time Cas has been “programmed” in Heaven one of his primary objectives was to STAY AWAY FROM THE WINCHESTERS? Like in 7.17 when he was Emmanuel. One day with Dean and he remembered EVERYTHING. Like Naomi controlling him in 8.17, where one day with Dean and he broke free of her control, only to be ruled by the angel tablet and immediately feel the need to run away from Dean again.

We even learned that CROWLEY spent most of s6 trying to convince Cas to stay away from Sam and Dean. It was the foundation of his entire plan to crack purgatory for the souls… 

Instead of bringing Kelly back to the bunker in 12.19, KELLY (under the control of the nephilim already) STOLE THE IMPALA and ran away from the Winchesters. And then when Cas fell under Jack’s power he booped them unconscious and fled.

WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?

Because all of heaven, earth, hell, and purgatory KNOW that Cas needs to be kept away from Dean if they want to use Cas for their own ends… and that’s exactly what Jack wants. But how can he sever Cas’s connection to the Winchesters?

FACTORY RESET.

He doesn’t have a Heaven Boot Camp with the Dentist’s Chair of Horror.

My guess? The Cas we’re going to see in 13.01 is going to be disturbingly familiar to the Cas at the end of 4.20. Instead of serving Heaven, he’s going to be all aboard the Jack bandwagon. Because Jack still needs SOMEONE, but he needs someone whose faith in him is unshakable. And as long as Cas has ties to the Winchesters as anything more than a symbolic reason for following Jack’s plan for bringing “paradise” to the world, a symbol he’d been willing to sacrifice himself for, then Cas’s loyalty was always in jeopardy.

But resurrected as something NEW, bearing Jack as the source of his power instead of Heaven or God or wherever angel Grace is hooked up to as a power source, he may have much greater control over Cas.

At least, that’s how I’ve been thinking of it…

(and I suspect that Cas will be restored to himself by midseason, and Jack will have effectively moved into Big Bad territory by then…)

[chelsanitys]

anon post

for all 3 of my fans

i live for ur wit and sass

thx n same

Dont fuck with the best! Kate works hard to get the craziest anons to post in her yard, and I've got nothing but respect. There's no fan in the fandom as genuine and earnest as she is. Wishing her and her cats a long and healthy life!

lmao yall need to quit

you've probably answered this already but what do you think will give vm the best shot at the OG?

a good short dance + a good free dance + gui missing the catch-foot on his twizzle again

Are you taking the bar exam this summer?

no i just finished my first yr

I will cry if T&S end up together, They would be a horrible match. Surely I'm not the only one who sees this??

i am ashamed that this is the level of trollin i get. step up ur game!!

"i hope tessa marries semple so i can see all the shippers cry tbh" Poor Alex! Marrying him would probably restore his self confidence and prompt a return to the cfl! Still holding out hope!

honestly alex was the hottest of all her bfs. fedor is balding, has a dad bod n is wearing khakis on the beach now. and semple was always fug. also rl talk i didnt know canada had its own football league until this guy came around. thats so cute for canada

"i hope tessa marries semple so i can see all the shippers cry tbh" I want her with the Bitove guy. His family looks like the type that will post tons about them on sm afterward.

lmao yall know his grandfather started the toronto raptors?? i knew this brodie’s last name sounded familiar. also apparenty he and his fam golf at trump’s resort @ mar-a-lago VOM. tessa is 500% going to end up with a smarmy, filthy rich trust fund kid like him like its not even a question

Hey now. I want shippers to get overthemselves, too, but Tessa marrying Semple, god no. Basically, Tessa, open your eyes and save yourself.

lol i actually wish she was still dating him so all this mindless speculation rn would stop

Bitter and hateful is what I come here for. Anons should just fuck off and go to the Disney website if that's what they want.

vm fans are so damn soft n sensitive about everything lol, i rly wish some of yall would stop taking everything i say so seriously

Please come back, without your snark the fandom is controlled by the most delusional shippers.

i’ll post more when there r actually things 2 talk about. being around here when nothing is happening and ur all screaming into a vacuum about the same things over and over is like being institutionalized in a loony bin

why are you always up so late?

nhf for this east coast bias, it is a perfectly reasonable time in california

Which of the current/rising juniors do you see making tbe most impact next quad?

carreira/ponomarenko are going to win a olympic medal in 2022. even if the shibs, h/d and bock don’t retire, i see them easily rising through the pack - they just have the Look and aren’t without talent. i’m iffy on the rest - mcnamara/carpenter are too creepy and weird, parsons have no height difference and are siblings, both are coached by an unproven staff, everyone else are varying levels of mediocre. hawayek/baker will go to worlds 2018 if they’re lucky and prob never again if no one else retires.

i wouldn't take h/d's music choices as an indicator of what vm will have. they are the c team and vm are the a team in that camp. look at last season... h/d got stuck with marie-france's lame ass idea of the evolution of music and vm got prince.

true..... altho i think personal taste is important too. tessa would die b4 she ever approved an ‘evolution of dance’ sd

I want Tessa to steal Fedor back from Meryl. All that drama would be hilarious. Fedor lost his looks and is butt ugly now so he is exactly Tessa's type, even more so than in 2009.

i nvr thought he was that cute but he literally looks like he goes door to door selling pool cleaner now

I noticed that when Tessa shakes hands or kisses someone on the cheek (like during medal ceremony or interviews) Scott often puts a hand on her lower back even though there had not been any physical contact between the two of them before said handshake or kiss. It just always surprises me and I'm not sure I understand why he'd do this. What's your take on it ?

lmao ik u want me 2 say its bc his subconscious is screaming out in jealousy and he wants to covertly claim her and show the world she still belongs to him but i rly think they r just touchy ppl who like to touch. or hes makin sure she doesnt lose balance and fall off the podium as she’s leanin over

moulin rouge would've been a much cooler choice in 11/12 for their musical fd instead of funny face, but i don't see them doing it for their olympic fd. it's a bit tacky and overdone. i figure they'd want to do something that's a little bit more special and unique then that.

ia it wouldnt have been a bad filler fd for an off year. i just dont see it doing it for their Last Ever and for the olympics. its such a warhorse - what could they possibly say with it thats original? and its such a character piece - they r such overly emo, earnest ppl, i dont think they’d want to do something that different from themselves for their Last Ever. 

huh what, vm don't stand a chance against moonlight sonata?? Pls... that would be a flop, such an overused piece of music everywhere, it's like Für Elise - hearing the first notes of it makes me vomit in my mouth a little

ya bc no one’s ever won a gold medal skating to a warhorse before

it sounds more believable to me than vm and moulin rouge tho

What interpretation? PC will just float around. They can do that in any key and judges will eat it up.

true, gui gui is a demon

No way. The judges will think they're watching Gordeeva/Grinkov again and just hand the gold to them immediately.

remember when pc said they didnt even know who torvill and dean and g/g were lmao

If scott doesn't cut his disgusting gutter frat boy hair I'm renouncing my Canadian citizenship and moving 2 Peru

was legit lookin @ pics from autumn classic n skate canada and i cant believe how short his hair was then, i can not believe i was complainin so much. i am honestly such a whiny bitch lmao this is my punishment

i have mixed feelings because Prince is the best short dance of VM's career so far but then Latch was one of the worst lol. It dragged in a lot of areas, especially the middle, and it never felt complete. I don't hate it by any means but considering we only had 2 free dances left and that was one of them... :| so I'm torn between trusting MF, and then thinking she's one misguided song choice away from ruining VM's swan song.

the thought of mf picking out the music for vm’s last ever fd makes me kind of sad. like yall have no ideas? at all?? ur relying on instagram suggestions and mf’s adult lite fm spotify playlists for inspiration? im surprised n disappointed tbh, like they arent kids anymore, i thought they would take more ownership of their careers. 

but idk we’ll see. whenever i complain a lot, i usually like their material later lol

why do i feel like vm are gonna come out in their sd with despacito... the justin bieber version...

ok who is this person who keeps sending me despacito questions?? you sound like you want it to happen more than anyone else and are trying to will it into existence

It's funny because Tessa is SO cautious about everything she/they say, that she comes off/is rehearsed--I don't understand why she cares so much. They are not politicians or even super famous. Plus most people who watch (excluding Tumblr fans bc they're all extra) watch during high times like Worlds and Olympics. Most people don't watch interviews and press conferences. If they do watch one, it's usually only the fun "game" interviews or the mainstream ones like etalk which they are not tons of

idk what this is in reference to but ok lol. it prob matters to her bc its her life and she cares bc its happening to her? just spitballin here

Oh no what has Max Trankov said I'm scared to know now. If he's a Trump fan I might have to #nopeout lol he’s russian and a male chauvinist pig. he once said he wouldnt do a quad with tati until she had a baby for him...”and then maybe we try”

still gonna stan his trash ass to the end of time tho

Speaking of bad music cuts I could not stand the way HD's music was cut this year. Like I like all the songs they used individually but it just felt so weirdly put together like the songs didn't flow well into the next. The only part I liked was the last part with earned it.

really? i thought earned it was the part that seemed completely out of step with the first 2 pieces of music. the transition was way off and the tempo was so much faster than the other 2

The Facebook q&a is the first time I felt vm are actually compatible enough to be a couple.

should’ve published this steaming hot take when u sent it a month ago bc i have no idea what this is in reference to now

what do you look like?

tired mostly

haha funny how we went from vm are in a relationship to they hate each other.

dont ‘we’ me bitch i have nothing to do with this fandom’s daily emotional yo-yo-ing

Can you explain the Tessa/Kaitlyn Weaver friendship? Are they really friends? Kaitlyn seems like the kind of girl Tessa would make fun of behind her back.

more like kaitlyn weaver is tracy flick and is trying to bring down everyone in her path tbh

I get a bit of a superiority, cold vibe with Tessa, don't you?

no but i dont have self esteem issues

I think people who find Tessa cold and snobby do not get her at all. Yes, she is far from perfect and her feminism is all (...) but to call her cold and unfeeling means you haven't been paying attention at all. Like get off her dick and/or stop following her career.

i dont think shes cold either. standoffish maybe, but i dont feel like thats from superiority or aloofness. some ppl just want to mind their own business and chill?? not everyone’s a chatty cathy like scott

Music stresses me out. The only thing I've gathered from all of the various discussions is they should be exciting but not too exciting because it's an Olympic season. But they shouldn't also be too safe. Like I know you have mentioned various choices that would be good but what would be in your mind the ideal program, both SD and FD. It's their third Olympics, so how do they build on the past while still being fresh but also them. Or do they just not and give the audience what they want?

something original thats not a warhorse but is also audience friendly and is instantly musically palatable to a lot of ppl

so basically mahler

Which songs from moulin rouge should they use?

if they were doing mr (which i doubt), the orchestral score is 500x better than the cheesy ass nonsense from the soundtrack. like come what may with nicole kidman’s tremulous bird vocals and ewan mcgregor literally straining not to pop a vein would almost be too dramatic and Too Much. i think that kind of thing only works for a v specific kitschy, performative kind of team (a la russians) and wouldnt vibe with vm’s super earnest approach at all. but the orchestral score is genuinely moving and effective in a less garish way

but i dont think they’re doing moulin rouge lol

"the movies honestly made it hard 4 me to interpret hermione’s undying loyalty and devotion to harry as anything other than latent sexual attraction tbh lmao" Hahaha, pretty much. Plus, the whole Harry and Ginny thing, even more so in the movies, seemed to come out of nowhere and was cliche as fuck.

is bonnie wright still acting? i’ve seen dead fish more alive than her on screen

LMAO someone posted a clip from VM's show when they were having dinner with WP and they were talking about how WP live together and they ask VM how they deal with one another and LOL I stg I started loling cause their reactions were #priceless. S literally just had a WTF look on his face while he said something hella awkward & T looked like she wanted to slap him. Her follow up that she doesn't think they could ever spend all their time together just cements why they'll never date for me.

lmao that whole scene is so stupid. kaitlyn n andrew r such good friends i swear

Thanks for setting that anon straight. Set some boundaries so that they don't egg on shippers?? WTF. They're fine with doing what they're doing, and if they're dating others, those others are obviously fine with it too. Besides, it's not like they're filming porn or something. If you can't handle it, stop watching them.

idek what these r in reference to anymore but it sounds dumb as hell lmao

Wow I cannot believe that people actually think VM owe fans any explanation for their relationship/partnership. Like we don't know them, we're never going to know them or be friends with them? Why the fuck do they owe fans a detailed explanation of their personal business? I stg these shippers have lost their damn minds. As long as VM continue to put out good programs and do well I couldn't care less what they're doing off ice. Whatever it is it's clearly working for them. You do you VM.

the entitlement of some fans is insane. its STILL happening now with tessa’s ig now too. why dont yall just let her live n let her white-girl post to her hearts content. she is literally doing nothing differently to what every other skater does, idg this absurd criticism

Fr tho both of them have such nice teeth and I've never seen pics of them with braces, like how??!?!

tessa’s r so nice i cant believe she’s never had braces. and they r such a natural white? like u can tell w most skaters that they get it professionally whitened but hers dont have that artificial look at all

Are you in college? Your bio says 23 but it said that last year too.

i actually turned 24 a while ago im just 2 lazy to change it. im in law school currently

I just read an ancient interview with vm where they said Mahler was about getting married or something... WHAT

ya i cant remember if it was them that said or marina that said it tho. i remember a story about a guy who wrote them saying he and his gf were watching mahler at the olympics and once it was over, he was so moved he got down on one knee and proposed to her and marina was like ‘thats what that program is meant to do’ lol

Do you think Zach is a good skater and partner? I keep changing my mind on him.....

he is such a bland, wet noodle - no taste, no flavor, just empty white carbs. its up to madi to add any spark to the team bc she’s the real star, he just stands there and is tall and can lift her

Why the fuck are so many people freaking out because Tessa did not attend a wedding with Scott. 1. They are not dating so there are no reason for Scott to bring her. 2. She has people visiting 3. I bet they don't even hang out off ice 4. I think Scott has a secret girl in Ilderton. 5. TS not dating. I wish people would claim down.

this is so far back in my inbox i have no idea whats happening

I love it that whenever Tessa posts an IG story the fandom goes crazy analyzing and speculating about Scott what there even when he is clearly not Then there there are talks about TS wedding. WTF Soon it will be TS having babies. I am wondering if maybe the fandom (new fans) are mixing reality with those fanfics.

honestly no clue

I know this has been discussed before but I don't get how Scott and Jess even communicated. Jess could barely seem to understand English back then and Scott couldn't speak French. I wonder if them not being able to speak to each other is part of why they lasted so long actually

lol bryce davison actually learned french so he could communicate w/ her. not scott tho lol

I don't think T cares too much about fs friendships the way other skaters do. Of course she's friendly with a lot of them but she's not really close with anyone except her partner, which doesn't really count lol. She has her own friend group outside of skating and that's what she seems to stick to. It's funny you mention Meryl, Brooke, Tanith, and Lauren because they're all still really good friends.

honestly i think skating stressed (stresses?) her out so much back then that she really hated being in that world for too long. i dont blame her for wanting to disconnect and not having to hang out with skaters who just talk about other skaters and skating 24/7

I don't mean this in a mean way. Watching Avatar.  If you paint Meryl's face blue she could be in the movie 

it kills me when ppl say she looks like a disney princess? ya the ant queen from a bugs life maybe

I think Tessa sometimes forget that Scott is a huge part of why they are successful and she wouldn't have all of these deals w amazing brands if they weren't so strong+didn't win everything. it's easy to put her on the pedestal bc she's gorg and can dance, but he should get/deserves just as much credit-- i mean he is the one lifting her and she could not do any of this by herself. sometimes i get the vibe that she thinks she's too good for him. maybe he's not as fancy, but he has a heart of gold

i’ve literally never gotten that she thinks she’s too good for him...? they go out of their way to pay each other compliments all the time and dont even jokingly diss on each other. its actually kind of weird that after knowing each other so long their relationship isnt just one long roast section where they talk shit about each other bc thats what my relationship w/ all my lifelong friends r like....but then again im a flinty bitch and they’re super earnest and emo like all the time. like i bet they both cry during sex

i find it kinda gross, disturbing and a bit pathetic that so many people feel the need to write erotic fan fiction about Tessa and Scott--like they are real people not characters, and it's kinda creepy that people spend so much time writing and reading them. Also, i would pay a million dollars to have someone show TS what people write about them--they would literally die and so would i--some fans are kinda extreme crazy

u know how on graham norton when he’s always showing celebs really erotic fanfic and fanart of themselves and they’re just dying of embarrassment?? i would literally pay everything in my bank account (so like....twenty dollars) for someone to do that to vm

omg it's gonna be so awk when tessa and scott have to see klawes...poor klawes, she just could not hold a candle to tessa. still don't know why klawes still follows tessa's insta--like i would unfollow and would not wanna see some of the pics t posts of TS giving each other lovey looks/touchy regardless of whether ts are together or not. also, it's never like t and klawes would actually be friends bc they're polar opposites

v disappointed that the olympic summit did not deliver on this #drama

tessa and kl were real friends tho, i think its sweet. and its nice they still keep in touch even tho scott is a dog

Are you a fan of tessa's style? She wears so much expensive yet ugly shit in my opinion.

lmao no. i think some of her casual wear is cute, but she wears some of the most hideous high fashion shit ever when she’s going out. like that blue carpet jumpsuit? yall know wht im talking about. those hideous trousers??? also she wears an unbelievable amount of boring black dresses

also gf needs to do smth with her hair. tired of her high bun and slick pony. she looks way cuter w/ her hair down imo

Do you think Tessa pays for all the Adidas stuff she wears?

no she def gets it for free. i was a walk-on my freshman yr of college for half a second and even i got a bunch of free shit from nike

How do u as an ed sheeran unstanner feel about ts doing these songs their obviously using him for the sd next season and i wouldnt be suprised if they use him for the fd as well

reading this made my cholesterol go up

really hope they're exhausting all the ed sheeran options now so they won't actually use it for comps lol

ngl i do kind of dig that embarrassing white boy rapping galway girl song but that cld prob just be my girl saorise ronan hypnotizing me like she always does

Minus the horrific man bun, do you think Scott's hot? Also, do you think Tessa finds him attractive?

no and probably yes now that hes so fug

Do you think Scott's attractive?? Also, do you think Tessa being told she's beautiful constantly on sm has made her get a big head--she often comes across as a bit cold and stuck up prancing around in her $1000 + outfits? Love her and she's gorgeous but...

some of yall need to stop projecting your shit onto tessa for real 

Power plays of the figure skating journalists. Inside Skating does a very literal interview and article with P/C which blows up and then they go to Jackie Wong so he can basically write up a damage control press release. Kind of fascinating to see both journalists doing their thing with the same content. Hard to believe Inside Skating didn't think their article would create a storm. Interesting.

speaking of jackie, skaters r really going to him for their exclusives now huh? dying that ashley gave him her big la la land fluff piece instead of tsl. pays 2 be nice and kiss ass

Doesn't look like KH/JLB will have much of a chance to advance cuzis so crowded with the current seniors not retiring and juniors moving up. KH/JLB needs to work on their twizzles, thier lines, skating skills, chemistry looks promising. Some of those junior and senior teams should consider representingif they want a chance at aCanada doesn't have any promising teams once VM-WP retire. I feel like CB, SS, HD ain't retiring till they win Wch or OG which may never with PC around.

hawayek/baker could prob skate for gb because jean-luc has citizenship and carreira/ponomarenko could prob skate for canada bc she’s from montreal but i doubt the us fed is letting either of them go. they’ve invested way too much at this point. i don’t think c/p need to move tho, i think they’re talented to rise organically through the ranks. i think they’re more likely to be us #1 instead of not tbh

I don't understand the whole David and Tessa affair; like some people say it happened after he was separated and others talk like it was a full blown affair. The only thing I do know is that her being called a "homewrecker" or anything else of that nature makes me want to punch something because it's disgusting, and it's society go-to response. Be cruel to the woman and basically give the man a free pass. But maybe he received shit, too? I just never heard about it.

i think he was basically separated but not divorced when it happened

Do you think if TS and Cappelini and Lanotte switched partners they would be a good team?

lol no. anna’s not a great skater and luca looks like he’s shorter than tessa

Wait is that Tessa's ex Semple in that photo you posted of her pre and post nose job? Cause if so damn does she lowball herself. Like she could have such better looking guys I do not understand. Girl is very pretty she needs someone to help her pick better guys.

~we accept the love we think we deserve~~

I think T is cringeworthy as a speaker bc she's sooo gd rehearsed. Not a things she says comes across like she didn't practice it in the bathroom mirror 75 times that morning. She would be pretty good if she could lose even half the pretension in her delivery and tossed out the eye rolly words she keeps littering the sentences with like privilege and journey.

they honestly both suck. she’s worse than he is, but they’re both super stiff. and they always do this forced banter bit at the start which just seems so awkward lol

That one anon pointing that some have denied the nose surgery - this is exactly what annoys me about those shipper blogs, not that they are shippers (you can want them two to be together- that by itself doesn't bother me), but their ways and how they always have to insist on vm's perfect image - they all get so upset and aggressive when you point some issue out, like why would you deny Tessa has done a nose job... so out of touch! vm are interesting exactly cause they're real people with flaws

i can not believe ppl r denying her nose job. like yo its right there. it does lend credence to my theory that all shipprs r just hallucinating n seeing things that arent there tho

If Tessa and Scott did hook up while officially with SOs I have a feeling they wouldn't consider it cheating.

ok lmao??? im sure something extremely profound i said provoked this

how rich do u think scott and tessa are???

prob millionaires by the time 2018 comes around if they get their sponsorships

-

i might do part 2 later if i can be bothered... but nothing really makes sense out of context lol, its like watching charlie kaufman do slam poetry

[justachorusgirl96]

Shower Surprise (part3)

Author’s notes: Ok, so I finally got around to watching season 12 and realized that this is not cannon at all and that I have inadvertently stolen the setup for this from @sdavid09 because I was inspired by one of her fics. I am so sorry. The cannon storyline is kind of a disappointment actually, but this is why I should stay caught up because then I actually know whats going on. Anyways, sorry this took so long; I know where I'm going with the story, it's just taking me forever to write it out. Also, I wrote it and then just forgot to post it... Please don't hate me! I'll try to be better. Love you guys, I really do!

Summary: You’re taking a shower after a bad hunt and fantasizing about a certain archangel, when it accidentally turns into a prayer, one that he answers.

Warnings: Language, slight confrontation, talk of injuries and physical violence, stuff

Word count: 1823 (I’ll try to work on making them longer)

Pairing: Reader x Lucifer

A/n: As always, let me know if you want to be tagged.

Need to get caught up? Master list

You emerged from your room a couple of hours later, hair still damp and un brushed, wearing your usual old hoodie and some pajama shorts. Your bare feet made almost no sound as you made your way down the long hall to the library. You could hear the gang before you reached them.

“You can’t be serious?”

“I’m tellin you man, new body, new virginity!”

You rounded the corner to find Dean and Gabriel engaging in a playful argument while Sam and Cas looked on. They all turned to look when you entered.

“Oh good, you’re out! Took you long enough.” Dean said with a mischievous grin. “I was just telling Gabe here that his new body comes with a new virginity. Now you’re not the only one in the bunker. The two of you could start a club!” He added with a chuckle.

Well that’s ironic... You felt a little heat rise in your cheeks and hoped no one would notice. “Yeah, not sure I’m really the ‘club’ type. I’m more the ‘suffer in silence’ kind of girl.” You offered with a nervous chuckle and an awkward glance at the elder Winchester. You felt the hair at the base of your neck prickle and shifted your gave to the source of the discomfort. Gabriel. He was staring a hole right through you. Shit, he can’t possibly know. The exchange seemed to be lost of everyone else in the room.

“Hey umm, Y/N, what happened to your injuries? You got beat up worse than the rest of us and now you seem just fine.” Sam cut in with that confused puppy dog look of his. You just had to ask didn’t you? “Gabriel’s been waiting to heal you since we got back.”

Dammit, I should have just stayed in my room. “Oh, that was nice of you Gabe, but Lucifer stopped by and took care of that already. Thanks tho-”

“What do you mean ‘Lucifer stopped by’?” Dean demanded.

“Exactly what it sounds like asshole,” you shot back.

“Oh so he just happened to stop by and decided to be nice and fix you up did he? What was he even doing here?”

“Yes, that’s pretty much exactly what happened!” You lied. “And he’s here a lot actually, you just ignore his existence unless he’s useful to you for something. He stopped by my room to inquire about a particular book from the library since I’m the only one who ever willingly talks to him. He saw that I was injured and healed me, plain and simple.” Please stop asking questions!

“Yeah, well I don’t like it. You should have waited for Gabriel to heal you.”

“We’re just worried that you might be messing with fire here. It is Lucifer after all.” Sam added.

You were indignant at that statement. “What difference does it make who healed me? It was a kind gesture and I was in serious pain. And no one bothered to let me know that Gabe was here to heal me so your argument is pretty invalid. I don’t have to justify this to you anyways; it’s already done.” You declared with a defiant glare. Damn were your brothers hard to get along with sometimes.

No one seemed to have anything to add and you fidgeted uncomfortably for a few moments before an escape plan came to mind. “I’m pretty hungry so I’m gonna head down to the kitchen. You guys want anything?” You asked as a peace offering.

Dean’s tone softened and he relaxed a bit. “Nah, we got tired of waiting for you to get out of the shower so we ate already. I left you a couple of burgers in the fridge.” 

“Awesome sauce! I”m gonna go eat that and then probably go to bed. This has been a pretty exhausting day.” As you turned to leave your eyes locked with Gabriel’s and you knew he wasn’t about to let this go. You noticed that Cas looked incredibly uncomfortable and wouldn’t meet your gaze and wondered what exactly was bothering him as well.

A few minutes later you were standing at the counter in the kitchen finishing off your cold burger when you heard footsteps coming down the hall, not just one pair, but two. Turning around you saw Castiel, uncomfortable and sullen as ever, followed closely by a very serious looking Gabriel. “Hey guys, whats up?” you asked trying to keep your voice casual and failing for the most part. Something in Gabriel’s expression was making you extremely nervous.

“Lets drop the pretenses and just be honest sweetcheeks? I know- that is, we know- that you just popped your cherry, and we know who popped it.” Gabe’s voice was flat and serious, lacking all of its usual humor. “Do you have any idea what kind of a dangerous game you’re playing?” There was no mistaking the worry in his tone.

You felt a little defensive at suddenly being called out on something so personal. “I’m not playing any kind of ‘game’. And its none of your business if I’m being intimate with anyone or who that anyone is.”

Gabe put his hands up submissively, “Hey, I’m not trying to tell you who you should and should not be intimate with; its your body, your rules. But I don’t have to like it or pretend that it doesn’t worry me.” His tone was softer and it was clear he wasn’t looking to pick a fight. “You’re my friend, my best friend in fact, and I care about you a great deal. Now I know my brother, and I know how much of a massive bag of dicks he is. I also know his feelings for you are very real and I think you’re good for him. But you need to be extremely careful; I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

This was really feeling like some sort of strange intervention. “Guys, I appreciate that you care so much about me, but really I’m fine. I can take care of myself and I really don’t think that Lucifer would hurt me.” You allowed your own tone to soften and ease some of the tension in the air.

“I agree, you can definitely take care of yourself. And I don’t think Luci would hurt you either. That’s not what I was talking about. What I meant was-”

“Nephilim are forbidden.” Castiel cut in, breaking his silence at last. “If you were to conceive accidentally, the armies of heaven would hunt you and the abomination mercilessly, and there would be nothing any of us could do to protect you.”

Castiel’s blunt explanation left an awkward cloud over the conversation. You were the first to speak. “I see. Thank you for that.. brutal analysis Castiel, but I don’t think you have anything to worry about there. I couldn’t conceive if I wanted to.” The two angles looked worried and confused so you continued. “When Dean and Sam found me, I had been taken by a vampire who was using me as a living blood bag and was planning on starting a nest with me as his first convert.” You closed your eyes and the memories flooded back to you. “He was incredibly violent and would often beat me when there was nothing else to do; which was often. Somehow during one of the beatings he damaged my uh... my womb, and now I am incapable of conceiving a child.”

Upon opening your eyes you saw that Gabriel looked completely taken aback, a look of most profound sadness in his eyes. Castiel already knew this story, but still wore a similar expression.

“Y/N, I- uh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know… But still, you should be cautious. Lucifer is an Archangel and anything could happen. The nephilim offspring of a lesser angel is incredible dangerous, but might stay hidden and go unnoticed for a while, but the offspring of an Archangel would have astronomical powers and and you would have no hope of avoiding detection. I don’t want to see my best friend get hunted down by my siblings.”

You stepped forward and pulled first Castiel, then Gabriel into a warm embrace. “Thank you for looking out for me. I promise I’ll be careful. That doesn’t sound like much fun to me either.” You forced a lighthearted tone into your voice, even though you were now incredibly worried. “Just don’t tell my brothers ok?”

“Pshh,” Gabe huffed, “I may be a jerk, but I’m not that much of a jerk! And you should get some rest now. He may have healed you but you still need to recover your strength. And I’m sure your ‘extracurricular activities’ didn’t help.” He added with a wink.

“Oh whatever!” You shoved him playfully on the arm. “Actually, that’s not bad advice ‘cause I’m exhausted. I think I will just go ahead and go to bed. I’ll see y'all in the morning.” And with that you padded off down the hall to your room, leaning against the door and releasing a long sigh once you were inside. Well technically that could have been worse. 

Wasting no time, you rushed through your evening routine and soon found yourself comfortably nestled under the covers, sleep already tugging at your eyelids. A sudden rustle of wings brought you back to alertness. There he was again, Lucifer, stretched out next to you like he had been there the whole time. “Well, well, well. If it isn’t my guardian angel again. Two visits in one day. What did I do to deserve that?”

“Well thats definitely the first time anyone has ever called me that.” He said with a chuckle. Lucifer paused for a while before reaching out and grasping your shoulder. “I was actually thinking that it might be better if I stayed with you more often; I’d get to see you, and it would be easier for me to keep you safe.”

“Oh, ok yeah, that sounds… umm…” What am I even supposed to say to that?

“You don’t want me around more often?” There was no mistaking the pain in his voice.

“No, no I do! I want you around as often as you like. I just also don’t want my brothers to figure out that we’re together yet. I need time to tell them properly. If you’re suddenly by my side all the time, well… I mean they’re not complete idiots; they will figure it out eventually. We just have to be smart about it; take it slow so you not just suddenly there. But,“ you paused, reaching out and grasping his face, "You can spend all the time you want in here.”

With that you pushed the angel flat on his back and rolled over on top of him. Leaning in close enough for your lips to barely brush the side of his ear you whispered, "And we can do whatever we want in here."

@sdavid09, @ravengirl94, @lucifer-in-leather