#also i got shit sleep last night so probably no writing from me today

[airxn]

i apologize for how inconsolable i'm gonna be today

[samuelsdean]

Who Needs Time Management When I Have You?

pairing: spencer reid x reader

summary: one of the many perks of having a boyfriend with flawless memory is that you do not have to remember stuff—he remembers them for you.

genre: tooth-rotting domestic fluff

word count: 1.5k

author's notes: i wrote this because domestic!spencer reid is a guilty pleasure of mine. i can definitely picture him as an attentive boyfriend because aside from the fact that he has flawless memory, he's an overall caring guy. with that said, i hope you'll enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing this!

ONE OF THE MANY PERKS OF HAVING A BOYFRIEND WITH FLAWLESS MEMORY IS THAT YOU DO NOT HAVE TO REMEMBER STUFF—HE REMEMBERS THEM FOR YOU. Do you have a dentist's appointment at 9? Covered. He will be waking you up at 7 with breakfast in bed. Your sister’s birthday is coming up. No worries! He has already ordered a bouquet ready to be sent on the day. It is amazing, and you thank your lucky stars for him every morning when you wake up and see him cozily sleeping beside you.

However, you were out of luck on the boyfriend angle today. You had your monthly—or if the BAU is free—girls' night scheduled tonight. As much as you enjoy having girls' nights with the BAU girls, Spencer also likes to spend some time out with the guys for a nightcap or something, whatever the men at the BAU enjoy when there is no case. And that means, your boyfriend is busy getting ready to go out as well. Although Spencer has never forgotten a thing in his life—even when he is on the brink of life and death—you do not want to stress him out even more by asking him what you think you have forgotten to prepare.

So, today when you were running around the house like a madman trying to collect the stuff you need to bring to Garcia’s for girls' night, you have no one else to blame but yourself. You have depended on your boyfriend to remember stuff for you that you always leave the preparation at the very last minute. At the moment, you believe you’ve never hated yourself as much as you did now, which is quite the feat considering that you’ve hated yourself a lot before for chickening out on confessing your feelings to boy wonder—your boyfriend, Spencer Reid—only to find out he shares the same feelings.

Scratch that, you hate your boyfriend right now more than you hate yourself.

Currently, that same boyfriend has been snickering nonstop at you dashing left and right and gathering the things you need to bring. Face masks? Check. Wine? Check. What else were you forgetting?

“You know, there’s this study that says only 82% of people have a time management system.” 

Your ever-loving boyfriend, Spencer, decided to share. You were about to chuck the throw pillow at him because you could hear the I told you so in his voice, but you knew his fact-sharing and nagging was his unique way of saying, “I love you, but you could’ve remedied this problem by preparing the stuff you’ll need the night before.”

“No, I don’t, Spence. But, do tell.” 

At this point, you’re pretty sure Spencer was sporting a shit-eating grin and was probably holding in a laugh at the strain in your voice from recalling whether you’ve got everything so you can head over to Garcia’s. You’re pretty sure Garcia is about to talk your ear off if you’re running late. You missed out on the last girls' night after you bailed on them, wanting to spend the night with Spencer, watching Star Wars, and eating takeout.

“There's a survey done recently which revealed that 90% of people say better time management can lead to increased productivity.” Spencer started explaining, hands waving around as if to demonstrate the numbers in front of him. “However, only 18% of people have a proper time management system.”

“And?” 

“Well, it just reminded me of you.” Spencer pursed his lips now, as he tried to explain his thoughts without annoying you. “If you just had a proper time management system like a to-do list or a planner. You could save at least..” He stared at his watch and did the math, “You could save at least one hour and forty-three minutes of your time instead of panicking over whether you got all the things you need for girls' night.”

“I don’t need that when I have you. Don’t you think so?”

This made your boyfriend blush, and you giggled, heading towards his direction, so you could wrap your hands around his waist and bury your face into his chest. You were the luckiest person alive for getting to date someone as wonderful as Spencer.

What you just said would not have made anyone flush and nervous, but Spencer was different. You knew he’s never been in a formal relationship with anyone before you. Thus, from time to time, he still gets embarrassed by your antics which you’ll always be endeared by. You live to see your boyfriend getting flustered because it gives you a reason to shower him with affection like now.

“I love you too, Spence.”

You looked up at your boyfriend, who looked like he was about to burst from your directness. You and he may deal with a lot of blood and gore during work, but he can be the most fainthearted person alive when it came to your affections.

“B-but I didn’t say I love you..” He trailed off, confused as to why you were suddenly proclaiming your love for him. You grinned even more as you pinched the tip of his nose.

“You didn’t have to, Spence. I know your nagging is one way of you saying you love me, and I love you for that.” 

Spencer scrunched his nose and rubbed the back of his neck out of shyness. If you could keep him in your pocket for safekeeping, you would. He’s just too precious for this world.

“But, as much as I love you, I know just as much that Penelope will have my ass kicked by Emily if I get to her house late,” you broke free from your boyfriend’s comfy arms, checking the bags you packed while doing so. “I have to go, baby. I think I got everything I need.”

Picking up your bag and care package, you ruffled your boyfriend’s brown locks, which made him frown a bit and sigh. You snickered at his reaction and proceeded to walk towards the front door. You were about to reach the staircase just outside your shared apartment when you realized something. 

You forgot your car keys.

Berating yourself in your head, you were certain once you entered that door, Spencer would be on your case like a mother duck. He can be too fretful when it comes to you. Oh well, that is one thing you love about him. Huffing, you slowly turned the doorknob and found Spencer leaning on the wall just inside the door with his arms crossed, looking at you smugly. You rolled your eyes.

One thing about Spencer Reid is he can be a cocky little shit when proven right. And that happens most—if not all—the time, with his IQ of 187 and eidetic memory. Unfortunately for him, he also happened to date a cocky little shit—you—who likes to fluster the living lights out of him. And right now, you just thought of the perfect way to get back at him.

But first, your car keys. Spencer next.

Once you have retrieved the pesky item—like it’s the car keys’ fault, you forgot to get them—you turned towards the door, not paying any attention to your boyfriend, who was already cracking up at you. Only when you’ve reached the door, your back towards Spencer, did you smirk. Oh, he’ll never know what’s coming to him. You did a U-turn and 

“Forgot something, sweetheart?”

“Why, yes I did, Dr. Reid,” you stated plainly, beelining towards him, making him take a few steps back until he ended up with his back against the wall. He's so easy to fluster. "I forgot to do this."

You slanted your head and pressed your lips against his. Your bodies were snug against each other as you kissed heatedly against the wall. You could feel the flutter of his long lashes against your cheeks as he parted his lips slightly to kiss you deeper. You could taste your shared breath, smell his faint perfume, and feel the slight scruff of a stubble about to show up. Warmth blossomed in your chest when you felt Spencer caress your face as if you were fine porcelain.

Kissing Spencer Reid never gets old in your books. Despite his lack of romantic experience and being the eager researcher that he was, Spencer was an eager lover—he would kiss you every chance he'd get to know how to please you, which paid off, by the way. This may be a biased opinion but you think the best kisses you have shared were with Spencer.

However, like all good things, kissing Spencer has to end, or Garcia will have you banned from her house for running late.

You pulled away from Spencer and grinned at him, to which he returned with a stunned smile. You chuckled when you noticed your lipstick smudged on the corner of his lips and brushed a finger to erase it. You wouldn't want your boyfriend to be the subject of Morgan's teasing once they're together after this. Noticing the daze your boyfriend is under is about to wear off, and he was about to say something, you beat him to it by pressing a smooch on his nose and pulling away completely. 

"I gotta go, Dr. Reid. Don't miss me too much!"

You scampered towards the door and shot a wink at your bewildered boyfriend—who was now sputtering in indignation for interrupting what he was about to say. He is so cute.

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

For the asks - "I wish you would write a fic where..."

Would you ever do a follow up to little bat? 🖤🖤

Can be read as a follow-up to Little Bat but also as a standalone. For a summary: your boyfriend tried to choke you after getting greedy that you were outshining him. Xaden came to your rescue but while the threat was taken care of some damage remained.

Things hunting us

“She has to train”, Garrick muttered under his breath as he and Xaden looked over the cadets filling up the training grounds. “You told me that ten times today”, Xaden pointed out keeping his tone low. “Proves my point that you’re not listening”, Garrick said through gritted teeth. Xaden didn’t need to look at his friend to see the frustration. Things had been uneasy ever since the attack. With people mostly fearing for themselves. Weary eyes bouncing around the rooms.

“She was nearly choked a week ago”, Xaden still felt as if someone was choking him now. He was confused. Mostly. With himself. He wasn’t sure why he had stayed the night after. Well, he had told himself that he stayed to protect you. Keep an eye on you. But then he stayed a day after. And one after. Until being close got too much and now he was running away in full speed. “Xaden, I get it believe me. I had a go at that fucker myself but rules are rules”, Garrick pointed out, “You, I, we can’t keep making excuses for her, we don’t run this place”.

And he knew it was true, it was. Xaden had been covering up for you ever since and even he was running out of ways to fill in your absence. He dragged a hand over his face as he rounded the corner on the second floor. Stopping hesitantly before his knuckles beat against the wood.

“It’s Xaden, can I come in?”, shit did he sound desperate? He should have kept his tone more raw and cold. He heard ruffling on the other side. Slow movements followed right by. Then the doors swung open. And here you were. Hair in a messy bun. Dark bags beneath your eyes. One's that weren’t there the last morning that he left you. So you probably hadn’t been sleeping well.

“Hey”, you rasped out, wrapping our sweater tightly around your shoulders. “Hi”, he muttered back. And here it was that urge to keep you locked up. To keep you away from everyone. To keep you safe. Bubbling deep within. “I thought that we should try going to the communal floor today” if only people who feared him saw him. With his soft voice and all. “I’m fine thanks”, you breathed out, stepping back and reaching to close the door but Xaden pushed his boot forward, blocking the way.

“Yn, you can’t keep doing this”, his palm pressed against the wood. You didn’t fight it. You stepped back as well. Letting him into your room. “He’s taken care of”, Xaden promised but you shook your head. Turning back only to twirl back angrily, “And who is taking care of this?”, you pointed. Your neck was a canvas for all the colors possible. Angry finger marks were even more visible than the night of the attack. An angry tear slipped past your cheek and Xaden instantly stepped forward.

“Look at me”, he said softly but you simply hooked your head. “As your wing leader I am ordering you to”, his tone was firmer this time. Demanding. Angry eyes met this. But anger was good. Angry meant that there was still a spark left in you.

“Own it”, he said, you let out a bitter chuckle, “You’re inside”. “No, you own it”, he said once more. Keeping his grip on the side of your face firm but not enough to harm.

“Some weak ass shit tried to go the easiest route”, Xaden searched for your eyes but you didn’t give in. Emotions were all over the place. “He couldn’t outrun you so he took the coward's way out. He abused the power he had over you”, he continued. He wasn’t big on speaking. But words came easy when they were shared between you both.

“From here on now. You will not shed a single tear over him. You will scrap him out of your head because he didn’t deserve you. And you will walk out this room with your head held high and show everyone that if they try messing with you they will not walk away from the fight”, now your face was cradled in both of his palms and for the first time you glanced up at him.

“But it wasn’t me, wasn’t me who stopped him”, your voice was barely a whisper. “So what”, Xaden shrugged. “So they can easily do what he did”, you whined, feeling the panic rising once more. “No they can’t”, Xaden said firmly, and when he said that you were gonna argue back he added quickly, “They can’t because if they even breath in your direction I will make sure that they regret that they were born”.

Silence filled the room. For a moment it felt as if the two of you were not even here. That nothing else mattered that it was just too. But then you stepped back. Putting distance between you both, “Why are you doing this? Why are you being so nice?”, you muttered. You had heard endless stories of how ruthless this man was. No heart. No soul. But you had seen none of that. He was nothing like people portrayed him.

“Because I want to”, he shrugged, lips curving into a grin. “No, Xaden”, you pointed a warning finger at him. “I do, now”, he said, reaching to undo his leather, “Wear this while you’re at it. Lunch starts in ten minutes”. You caught his flying jacket midair. Instantly pressing it to your chest. But your brain was screaming at you, “We can’t wear other cadets' clothes”, you argued but Xaden only hummed in answer, “Shift in the rules”. His fingers tilted your chin up, “Now that you’re mine you can”.

[bloodyymaryyy]

Taking care of Kai

Kai cenat x reader

Side note : it's probably gonna be messy and short but I want to write it because I just got a new phone and yeah .

I will be starting fanfics again and for YouTubers too not only f1 because there is next to nothing about amp especially

________________

You visited kai's home and was hanging out with him a few hours before he streams .

You noticed that his fridge had nothing , same with his pantry, you thought he would be going shopping but he in fact did not so when he was complaining that he had nothing but a expired cookie and thought of what duke would do and thoughted it out and was imitating duke about shit like wanting to be taken care of and "that nature " as he put it you decided to take matter into your own hands .

Dressing up and fixing up your make up , you headed to the store .

After buying extra shit for you and snacks for the guys you went to the amp house , most of them were streaming which wasn't a surprise, Chris and Davis was sitting in the living room watching TV or their phone on occasion you went up to them first , hanging them their drinks and snacks that you got them and chatted for a bit you went into dukes room first as it was the first door you saw , also handing him his drink and snack while he was thanking you , you said hello to chat and left to go to fanum's room next . Knocking on his room door too you went in after getting confirmation to enter you got him a bit of extra so he won't fanum tax Kai or anyone,you both exchanged pleasantlies (?) you left to to agent's room next, knocking once again because he wasn't streaming so you knew to knock a few times after traumatic experience from a few of the guys and you just threw his shit in his bed and left after he wasn't awake and finally you got yo kai's room where you was carrying a big bag of chips , chocolates , candy and a few others .

" oh shit! What are you doing here !? "

" I bought you snacks !" You said smiling and hugged him as he was still sitting down shocked .

" why didn't you text me I could have sent you over money !"

"nah it's okay I was watching the stream and I knew you didn't have shit so I thought I could get you some for the stream ! Also I bought something for the guys so you don't have to give me money !"

As was talking to him I handed him the bag so he could decide what he wanted and for me to get them into the pantry and fridge.

" nah I will Venmo you money after bruh! Thank you I was starving!"

Y/n is like a mother, taking care of her kids 🥹😭

I love their friendship!

I want what they have !!!!

Hello y/n

My fav girl is hereeee

Hey y/n

Why do I ship them ?

Her is your girl that takes care of you Kai

You look like her kid but in black 😂

" You are my friend you don't have to give me money I have a job ! I like taking care of you guys! Ok so I have to go to cook you guys something so you dont get fast food for the 5th time this week "

I again hugged Kai and left down to the kitchen to make us something, after what felt like forever I did some potatoes fried with a four different types of cheeses and throwed it in the oven with thick milk ( I don't know how it say it otherwise) and a few steaks and mushrooms and plate them up .

After taking two plates at the time to the guys for what felt like the hundred time today and many compliments and praise for feeding them you took the last two plates and headed again into kai's room , handing him a plate and setting yours in the table ,you retrieved a chair and sat down with Kai , chatting on stream , reading the chat and receiving many compliments it was time you go and sleep . Having a norlan 9-5 job in the morning.

___________

Okay that's it I don't know if it's good I just pulled it out of my ass so yeah . Have a good night babies I love you and I am sorry I was absent for so many weeks ❤️ love you all

Oh btw here is the "inspo"

[uceyliyahh]

UNDER YOUR TOUCH

Summary: After her difficult breakup, Tiana wanted to start anew with her life. That's when she realized her life would be better when she met him.

This fanfic is 18+! NO MINORS ALLOWED

word count: 3897

smut warning; it’ll come in the story randomly so PLEASE PLEASE look out for it I’m not really good at writing ✍🏽 smuts but I’m improving at the moment.

Jey Uso x Tiana

AWFUL GRAMMAR IM GETTING BETTER I SWEAR LOL.

comments, likes, repost are appreciated I would love the constructive feedback in what area I need to approve in. 🤍

ALSO! I don’t not want nobody stealing my fanfics or take it as theirs that will be an issue fasho so keep it cute respectfully.

I only own my OC along with the make up scenarios

But I’ll be writing along the way since this story is in my drafts on Wattpad right now so yuh. 💁🏽‍♀️

TAGS ⬇️ lmk if you wanna be tag 🏷️

@paigereeder @empressdede @pinkwithhearts @biancasreign @highoffaries @jstarr86 @angiedawn02 @yana3sworld @zillasvilla @hunnidmilly @bebesobrielo @skyesthebomb @xbriexx @fearlesschimera

11.

JEY it was early in the morning as the weather was looking a bit rough today. I opened my eyes, rubbed them slightly, and saw Tiana sleeping peacefully on my chest.

I grabbed my phone that was on the bed next to me on the bed charging, scrolling through my notifications and noticing that Kehlani has texted me last night on some bull shit.

I'm tired of her harassing me and my girl. She was annoying. So, I blocked her again while continuing to scroll through my feed. As I was doing that, I felt Tiana shift in her sleep, seeing her eyes flare up, looking at me.

"Good morning mama." I said while playing with her hair.

"Morning, Papi," Tiana said in a raspy tone as she kissed me on the lips.

She got up from the bed as I put my hands behind my head, admiring her naked body. It was perfect, making me want to put a baby in that for real, though.

I could sense that she knew that I was admiring her as she turned around, "Josh, I know your eye fucking men right now, sir. Stop it." I chuckled at her while getting up and walking towards her.

"What? I can't admire my lady now?"

"Boy, I didn't say all of that move so that I can take a shower, " she said as I grabbed her by the waist, pulling her closer to me.

"Joshhhhh," I planted kisses on her face as she continued to whine like a baby, making me pull away.

I smacked her on her ass as she walked away, disappearing into my bathroom. Meanwhile, I went to go lay back down in my bed, seeing that Bianca had texted Tiana.

Breezy sent 3+ messages

Breezy: Bestie you wanna go shopping today? Breezy: tell fat head ass Josh to bring you home so we can go Breezy: lmk girly

'Damn why the fuck I gotta have a fat ass head?'

I felt my phone vibrate as I read through the messages, and I saw that Jon had texted me about something.

Twin📌: Yo, Uce you tryna go hooping later on? Jey: Yeah, fasho I think Tiana got plans today with B Twin📌: ight, then how's is Tiana btw Trin wanted to know. Jey: she's fine well it seems to be that way I haven't ask Twin📌: Oh, ight you think her ex-boyfriend might show up again? because we know that his parents are going to get him off the hook. Jey: Probably so that's what B thinks Twin📌: aw ight then well I see you later Jey: Yeet.

I placed my phone on the bed, and seeing Tiana coming out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her body was breathtaking.

"Mamas, B wanted to see if yall wanted to go shopping," I responded.

"Ohhh, I almost forgot about that gotta spoil myself you know," Tiana said as she was drying off her body.

I got up and went towards my hoodie, getting my wallet. I pulled out my black card and gave it to Tiana, and her face looked a bit perplexed.

"Baby? why are you giving me your card?" She questioned me.

"So you can spoil yourself when you go to the mall with B." She gave me back my card, and I raised my eyebrow at her.

"Baby, I can pay for it myself. You don't have to do all of that, papi." I gave her back my card, closing her hand in the process.

"Use it mama, you know I got'chu" she smiled at me as she kissed me on the lips before putting the card in her wallet.

"I promise I won't spend a lot."

I chuckled at her while nodding my head at her, she was adorable.

✧.* TIANA I was at the mall with Bianca doing some shopping. We haven't spent time together since I've been with Joshua, so I'm glad we could get together.

Her and I were in line getting something to eat after doing all of that shopping. Since Josh gave me his card, I promised him I wasn't going to spend a lot on it because he probably needed it.

After we got our food we sat down at the table chatting it up.

"Girl, you whooped her ass?" Bianca asked.

"Yeah, I did until Josh pulled me back. I wanted to do more damage because I'm tired of her ass." I said while rolling my eyes.

"Me too, girl. She's so annoying."

I agreed with her his ex-girlfriend was more delusional than Kai ass thinking that Josh would get back with her after what she did to him.

As we continued to eat our food, we heard some familiar voices coming from the other side of the food court. When Bianca and I turned our heads, we saw Kehlani and her friends walking and talking.

I guess they didn't see us so we didn't pay attention to them while continuing to eat our food.

"So Josh let you use his card for your shopping spree?" She began to say.

"Yeah, I didn't want him to give it to me at first but he insisted," I replied.

"Girl, that man loves you and would do anything for you." We heard chuckling as we saw Kehlani and her friends standing next to us.

Me and Bianca looked at each other and then back at them while giving them a stank face, "Girl, the fuck is funny?"

"Oh, nothing. It's just crazy how Jey is so in "love" with you, giving you his card. He used to do that for me," Kehlani said.

I just rolled my eyes at her while folding my arms in the process.

"Ion' really think he did. I believe that you're very much delusional, ma'am." I retorted.

I could tell by her facial expression she was upset at my smart remark but I didn't really care, and I really didn't have time to be playing games with a delusional ass girl.

I got up to throw away my food, including Bianca's food, while grabbing my purse and keys. Looking at the girls standing there, looking dumb, before we began to walk away, I felt her pull my hair, causing me to fall to the ground.

I've seen Bianca push her harshly on the ground as her friends tried to swing at her, which made me get up instantly, pulling one of the girl's hair and dragging her, banging her head on the table.

Everyone in the mall had their phones out, recording the whole thing as me and Bianca were whooping their asses, throwing them into shit, and seeing a little bit of blood coming out of one of them.

"yo' ass wanna keep harassing me and being messy, imma show ya something." I spat as I was punching Kehlani in her face, kicking her in the process, causing her to fall on the ground, holding onto her stomach.

That's when Bianca pulled me back from her, seeing all of them on the ground winching in pain I wasn't done I let go from her grasped while dragging Kehlani by her hair throwing her in the water fountain.

I grabbed my purse and keys while heading out the mall before the police came. I didn't have time for this shit.

✧.*

uceyjucey, trinity_fatu, zillafatu, and others like your post.

tianasworld: when he gives me his card so i can spoil myself. 🤭

uceyjucey: anything for you baby. 🤍 tianasworld: @ uceyjucey 🫶🏼 trinity_fatu: girrrrl that man loves you fr wish Jon do this for me. zillafatu: that's what happens when you have a good man. shehatekai: bro I did this for you tho...you trippin bro uceyjucey: @ shehatekai if you did she wouldn't be with me huh get outta her comments. jonathanfatu: @ trinity_fatu girl what is yo' ass talking about? why am I being dissed rn? 😭

Read all the comments.

Bianca and I finally made it home. I saw Jey's car in our driveway, which confused me because he didn't text or call me to say he was going to come over.

He stood next to his car, arms folded over his chest, looking at Bianca and I pull into the driveway as we got out of the car.

"Hey, baby, I didn't know you were comin' over?" I said as I gave him back his card.

"I mean, that's not why I'm over here, but yeah." He replied.

I raised my eyebrow at him a bit while folding my arms, "what are you talking about?"

He pulled out his phone showing me a video of me and Bianca beating up Kehlani and her friends at the mall earlier actually made me chuckle a bit I mean she did deserve it honestly got tired of her ass.

I looked up at him as he put his hands on his hips like a typical mom and gave me a stern look like one, too.

"Baby? Whatever happened to our talk last time?"

"Bubba she started it first okay I had too, I'm tired of her ass." I said pouting.

Jey chuckled at me, seeing me pout like a little baby. Then he grabbed me by the waist, making me wrap my arms around his neck.

We kissed a few times on the lips causing him to squeeze my ass as Bianca cleared her throat, making us stop.

"I don't wanna see that in front me y'all like c'mon." Bianca said.

Jey and I chuckled a bit as we walked inside the house together, and he grabbed my bags for me like a gentleman.

I made sure I locked my car before going in. As we all went in, Jey and I went upstairs towards my bedroom, shutting the door behind us.

He scooped me up by my thighs, walking towards my bed, sitting on it as I straddled him. We looked into each other's eyes, smiling.

"You're so pretty mama." Jey compliments me.

"Why, thank you, Bubba. You're very fine yourself," I replied while playing with his mullet.

'He's honestly perfect for me.'

'He got everything that Kai didn't have.'

"Also, I have something to tell you. I meant to tell you, but it slipped my mind," I continued.

"What's up mama?"

"Well, before I came to spend the night, Kai's mom called me, but I didn't answer. She left a voice message saying she wanted me to release the restraining order on Kai." I could tell that his facial expression had changed.

I mean I couldn't blame him because I wasn't going to be releasing shit his mom is delusional just like him and his father as well.

It was just weird, especially the fact that she got my number. I'm curious how she got my number.

"I wasn't expecting his mother to be delusional like her son." He said.

"I was saying the same thing, love. I just wish this could be all over and I could finally be at peace," I said.

"Mama, it's okay remember I got'chu baby." I just love the way he reassured me letting me know that everything was going to be okay.

'He's going to protect me.'

He placed a soft kiss on my lips gazing up at me, we continued to make out for a little while as my hands were playing with his mullet along with him squeezing my ass in the process.

"you better stop lil mama." Jey said in a raspy tone.

I tilted my head while looking at him innocently, "or what papi?" taunting him even more as he gazed up at me with his low eyes that were filled with nothing but lust grabbing my throat firmly.

"imma beat that shit in mama, and ion want no running either." He whispered, making my body shiver and hearing him say that to me.

I got up from his lap stripping all of my clothes off in front of him as he watched me with his lustful eyes, his eyes were trailing my body from head to toe licking his lips.

"Bend that ass over on this bed so that I can give you this dick ma."

✧.* OMNISCIENT After their session together, Jey and Tiana were downstairs eating dinner with Bianca and Montez while they watched a movie.

While they were watching the movie, Tiana's phone buzzed. As she looked down to see who was texting her, she saw that Emma had texted her.

Emma🩷 sent 2+ messages

Emma🩷: hey, Tiana I was checking on you to see if you were okay. Emma🩷: I heard you at a restraining order on him.

She read through the messages, beginning to text her back.

Tiana: Hey, I'm fine girl I was finna text you to see if you were okay I know it scared you. Emma🩷: yeah, it really did like honestly. Tiana: well, I did get a restraining order against him but his mom wants me to remove it saying her son is innocent. Emma🩷: what? That's insane I still cannot believe that his parents are acting like this after everything. Tiana: that's what I'm saying girl ridiculous Emma🩷: I've seen that you fighting in the mall? Who was that? Tiana: Joshua's ex girlfriend I just had to beat her ass I couldn't stand her harassing me anymore. Emma🩷: damnnn that's crazy but I'll text you later girl Tiana: ight then.

After chatting it up with Emma, her eyes darted towards Jey's direction. She saw him and Montez talking to each other, not even paying attention to the movie like she and Bianca were.

Hearing Bianca sigh deeply while rolling her eyes at the two.

"Men always gotta be chatting it up." She said.

"Yeah, they can at least enjoy the movie for a bit, then chat it up later," Tiana said while stuffing her mouth with food.

Bianca nodded her head in agreement while eating her food. Tiana kept her eyes on the movie. The scene that we were watching was intense, almost giving her flashbacks between her and Kai. She tried to brush it off so she would not think about it.

But she always let her mind wander.

FLASHBACK(WARNING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE)

"Ms Jackson I cannot be with your son any longer he's not safe to be around," I said while keeping my arms folded.

"Honey, my son isn't like that at all; he probably didn't mean to, " she said.

I scoffed at her in disbelief. I couldn't believe that she was actually going to stand up here and defend her son, especially since she was in the same position I was in.

I got up, grabbed my purse and keys, and gave her one last look: "I cannot believe that you're going to sit up here in my face and say that he didn't mean to punch me in the face. That says a lot about your character, Ms. Jackson. Good day." After all of that, I left his parents' house, going back to the place I once called home, which is not a home anymore.

When I pulled up in the driveway I've seen Kai standing there waiting for me, he looked pissed but I couldn't care less I was ready to leave his ass for good.

I got out of my car, turned off the ignition while grabbing my purse, and walked towards the door he blocked me from going in.

"Can you move out the way Kai?" I asked trying to get through the door.

"No, not until you explain to me why the fuck did my mom called me crying because you said something disrespectful," Malakai said while he kept his arms folded.

"Nigga ion got to explain shit to you; now move out the way."

He yanked me by the hair as I fell onto the ground gazing up at him, he went down towards me grabbing me harshly by my chin.

"You wanna keep playing with me? She said you wanted to leave me."

"I do want to leave you because you're abusive and a cheater Emma was right I should've left you alone." I spat as I felt a sting on my face.

He slapped me harshly, grabbing me up by the hair while dragging me inside of the house. I was trying to fight him off, but it only made things worse as he threw me across the table, causing me to hit the back of my head.

Winching in pain, I could see him grabbing something out of his bag, which scared me.

I tried to hurry away from him, but he caught on as he hit me with his pistol, "you aren't going anywhere." grabbing me up again by my hair and pushing his pistol onto my neck.

"If you ever, and I mean EVER, think about leaving me or finding someone else, I will kill you." Malakai threatened.

I felt tears coming down my cheeks while looking at him in fear, there was nothing I could do he was crazy.

"You understand me Tink? Now go ahead and call my mother and apologize NOW!"

Without hesitation, I called his mother to apologize to her for saying what I said earlier, which was only to satisfy him and his wants.

'Fuck'

FLASHBACK OVER.

Tiana's thoughts were interrupted by her boyfriend, Jey, who was calling for her. She looked up at him, reading his facial expressions.

He looked concerned and worried, as he knew how she could be whenever she was in her thoughts or letting her mind wander.

"You okay mama? I've been calling for you for a minute now." Jey asked.

"Oh, sorry, Bubba. I didn't hear you, " she said as she saw him sit next to her.

Jey pulled her onto his lap, holding on to her waist, and rubbed both of her sides as they all watched the movie together.

✧.* After watching the movie together, everyone went upstairs to head to bed. Meanwhile, Tiana was in the shower, letting the warm water hit her body, causing her to sigh in relief.

She didn't know how stressed out she would be with this whole entire situation between her and Kai including with Kehlani running around talking shit, it really did take a mental toll on her a bit.

But she knew that Jey was going to be there for her regardless of the circumstances because she knew that he truly loved her and was about her.

He didn't care about his ex-girlfriend or her, either. All he cared about was Tiana. She felt the cold air coming through the shower, knowing that it would be Jey coming in to take a shower with her.

He closed the curtains behind him as he approached Tiana, wrapping his arms around her waist, causing her to jump a bit.

"My fault, mama. I didn't mean to scare you." He said softly.

"It's okay, you're fine." She responded.

Jey noticed that her energy was off, pulling her closer to his body. He planted soft kisses onto her neck, sensing that her body felt tensed.

He turned her around, getting her attention. He looked into her eyes deeply, trying to read her facial expressions, but he just knew what to do.

He placed his hands on her cheeks, cupping them as he pulled her in for a passionate kiss, which caught her off guard, but she would soon catch on while wrapping her arms around his neck.

They were both making out passionately in the shower as his tongue slowly slipped into her mouth while he snaked his hands onto her ass, giving it a good grip.

This was something that she needed a stress reliever, someone to make her forget about all of her troubles or issues she was dealing with or that was affecting her mentally.

And Jey was the person to do so.

Scooping her up by her thighs, he pinned her onto the wall as their lips never left each other as their tongues were fighting for dominance.

They pulled away for split second as he placed his forehead onto hers, catching their breath together.

"Are you going to let me take care of you, mama? " he asked, kissing her thick lips again.

She nodded her head, playing with his mullet, "You always take care of me, baby." She stared into his eyes deeply, maintaining eye contact with him.

SMUT WARNING Tiana's moans and whines filled up the room, hoping that Bianca and Montez didn't hear her as Jey was giving her long, deep strokes that she truly loved him.

She was lying on her side as her legs were around his waist while he pushed his dick deeper inside of her.

Watching her facial expressions turn up every time he did it which satisfied him.

"Fuckkkk Papi..." she moaned. She had never felt so full, especially when it came to him.

He felt her walls clenching around him, causing him to let out a soft groan escape from his lips.

"Shit, mama, you can't be clenching like that around me. Let me stretch you out." he continued to give her deep strokes while leaning over to her to kiss her on the lips.

She loosened up a bit, letting him take control. He pushed her one legs back towards her stomach, going in deep with every single stroke, circling his hips to hit her spot.

"I love you so much, baby. I'm hitting ya shit and I get to watch yo' pretty ass take it." He whispered in her ear.

Tiana rolled her eyes in the back of her head as she took it all in. She would normally run from him, but this time, it was different for her. She had to learn to take it and let him do all of the talking.

She was letting him take control of the situation.

"you seemed so stressed, baby girl. Let me take care of you." He grabbed her throat firmly, drilling her. The room continued to be filled with her moans mixed with his.

"Joshhh." She whined into his neck as she felt a familiar pit going down her stomach. She felt very overwhelmed by all of this, feeling her legs shake underneath him.

He wanted her to feel every inch of him as she couldn't handle it and tried to push him away, placing her hand on his stomach, but he slapped it away, drilling her deeply.

"Unt-Un, you're doing so well taking it. Keep taking this dick, Mama. Make a mess on me." He rubbed his thumb on her clit, which drove her insane.

He continued to grip her throat firmly, not trying to hurt her, as she felt her toes curling while his strokes got slower and sloppier.

Tiana felt her legs shaking violently as she came all over him and let out the loudest moan tapping on Josh to slow down.

"Take this shit Ma." He was determined to get his nut after hers.

Cursing under his breath as he continued to give her what she needed while sweating was dripping from his face feeling his dick twitching inside of her.

He filled her up like a Twinkie as a satisfied groan left his lips while rolling his eyes in the back of his head, pulling out of her.

SMUT OVER.

He gazed down at her, seeing her body trembling and quivering as he placed soft kisses on her body to calm down.

"you know I got'chu tink." He breathed out before massaging her thighs.

Tiana couldn't let out a word as she felt tired and defeated by him; he got a wet rag and cleaned her up before throwing it in the dirty bin next to her bookshelf.

He got inside the blanket with her, pulling her closer to his chest as he watched her drift into a deep slumber while kissing her on top of her head.

Under Your Touch.

A/N: ngl I'm glad Kehlani and her little ass friends got beat up especially Kehlani ass so annoying. I love how Jey take cares of Tiana.

But I hope yall enjoy this chapter lmk in the comments.

Stay Ucey.

[preciadosbass]

28/7/14 [draft from yesterday]

woke up at 11:47 to my parents in my doorway. mum started putting stuff on my bed but i though it was just stuff of mine that id left around the house but it turned out she’d bought me some stuff which is really nice. she got me socks [because i only have one non-fluffy pair], slippers [because our dogs hair is everywhere and my pyjamas end up getting the hair all over the house, even after the place has been hoovered], and purple trainers [because beforehand i only had my converse + knee high converse, and they were both getting muddy and causing me blisters when i go on walks.] i feel extra bad about the argument we had last night now.

i was super tired and my eyes still felt like they were glued shut but i decided not to go back to sleep. i got a little anxious when i saw my ex bestfriend was sad so i sent him a message telling him that i’m here for him and stuff. i still care about him so much, even if we don’t talk anymore. i watched a mikey way complication and listened to a podcast with the way brothers on up until 1:20 when i had a nap [im lazy, i know]

i should mention, i had the weirdest dream. so excuse how bad this explanation is going to be. me and kellin [quinn] were both teens and we were at a restaurant. he had tacky plastic skates on and started doing backflips in them? and running on the spot and joking about being chased? it was such a strange dream to have, especially because i haven’t had one in ages. also, my dad was there for some reason lmaoo

i woke up at around 2 and stayed with boris until 3:20 before i had something to eat and started researching a few crime cases. id been thinking about reading a bit of my sylvia plath book but i got in another argument with my parents [not really with my dad] and practically went into sensory overload so i went in my room and scrolled through ed related things on reddit. although i just wanted to have a conversation with them.

my dad lets things go easier, but mum tends to start saying ‘maybe you’d be happy if i’m not here’ and stuff like that, which i have never and would never imply to her. it just makes me feel like shit, she acts like i’m not allowed to be mad. and i feel absolutely terrible writing this, especially because of the whole gift thing from earlier, and i know shes probably just stressed, and i love her, but nobody acknowledges that i am too. they never do, whatever i do seems to anger my mum. anyway, i spiralled writing this and i don’t wanna turn it into a complete vent post, so let’s carry on.

i carried on scrolling through reddit until like 8 where i went on a walk with all of my family [which we haven’t done in at least a year]. didn’t get off to a good start because the second i walked outside my sister dropped her phone on our rock driveway and smashed her phone to pieces.

she was arguing about paying for the damage up until we got to the park when she went back home with my dad. me and my mum carried on walking while we did would you rather because anything else was starting an argument. we ended up doing so right before we got home but at least i walked for an hour today, i wish it’d been more though. also at one point she asked me if i was questioning my gender like WHAT?? why didn’t i take the opportunity to tell her ffs.. when i got home i obviously said hi to boris and then scrolled on twitter for a bit.

one of my acquaintance’s [i call anyone my age that i know that, because i know people, but they’re not nice to me whatsoever, we don’t hang out, they bully me, i don’t consider them a friend etc] was being their usual self again. i try everything i can to politely escape them/avoid them but i just don’t know how. id feel bad cutting contact with no explanation but if i told them all the disgusting things they do they’d deny it. but i know i have to at some point, they’re such a bad person and i’m tired of putting up with them.

anyway, i feel like i seem like a bitch for not liking them, and the problem in every scenario i’ve written about today so let me know if anyone actually reads this and wants to know what makes her such a bad person. after seeing that i listened to some evanescence and i was just about to put on my fight club dvd i got from a bootsale a while ago when my dad said he was ready for me to ask questions about boris soon so i went up to their room.

we actually didn’t argue tonight because i was able to get on with it quite quickly so i did my teeth and said goodnight to boris around 3. he again started purring before id even started stroking him, he’s so precious. also went over my cals by like 60 today so that sucks

have a good day/night -_<

[4channerguy]

let loose / kunidazai

hayyyy so im just gonna repost this from my ao3 because ive been lacking in tumblr posts lol!! i hope you enjoy :3 xoxo (。・∀・)ノ i used this prompt when writing this: person B tossing snowballs at person A's window, not knowing the window is open and has no screen. also this is probably ooc but idgaf! and also kind of cringe but i also dgaf!

wc: 1057

warnings ✎ : boyfaliures (´･ω･`)  ➜ ┊ pairings: dazai x kunikida

𓂃 ☆ ⋮ doppo kunikida thinks of himself as a precise and sharp man.

he gets a full seven hours of sleep with no distractions, eating a full breakfast precisely at 6 AM, and then meditating. today was his free day off, and all he could think about was doing work. he’d offered fukuzawa to do more paperwork, to discard the load that was on the old man’s shoulders, but he at first declined saying, “you shouldn’t do too much. this day is possibly your only day off.” kunikida only shook his head, pulling his notebook and pointing at it. “i must follow my ideals, sir,” he said firmly. “i must retain the quota of doing seventy-two pages of work.” fukuzawa stared at him for a moment before sighing slightly. He opened his drawer to obtain a tuna can from his secret-stray-cat-stash (SSCS), because it was his free day too. The man didn’t even bother to protest against the golden-blond, and only wished him luck in his assignments.

now at his apartment, kunikida was prepared. he had a neat stack of paperwork with his laptop and of course, his notebook. he adjusted his glasses while gazing out the window. it had snowed last night, with inches of thick snow covering the pathway. since his desk faced the window, decided to open it to at least have some cool breeze in while he worked. it would give me some form of productivity, he thought while also fully opening the window screen as well. He sighed contently, opening his laptop and started typing.

unbeknownst to him, a troublemaker was walking by.

osamu dazai, who just had a typical failed suicide attempt, was mopeing around like a teenager on a winter break, tossing his empty can of tomato juice around his hands. he was thinking about what he wanted for dinner. canned crab probably. with cheap beer. ten cans of beer, maybe. he whistled to himself and then stopped.

he saw kunikida. But, alas, kunikida did not see him. dazai felt his heart skip slightly, seeing him with a furrowed brow working diligently. His glasses were perched on top of his head, which made dazai slightly swoon-

nah. dazai thought. maybe my body is just wired to tease and bother the shit out of him. typical dazai-centric thoughts. dazai crept up towards kunikida’s apartment and started to slowly form a snowball (with his bare hands of course, because he hoped to also catch hypothermia). “KUNIIIIIKIDAAAAAAA!” dazai yelled, which caused kunikida to snap up his head to see the perpetrator. unfortunately, the snowball hit him.

square in the face.

the snowball slowly dripped from his face and onto his desk. dazai only grinned.

“...”

“...surprise?”

kunikida slowly got out of his chair, grabbed his coat, scarf and gloves, put on his snow boots and walked calmly outside where dazai was waiting with a cheshire-like smirk. he took and breath and screamed, “DAAAAAAZAAAAAAIIIII!” he started forming half-assed snowballs and started pelting dazai with him. dazai, on the other hand, was laughing maniacally like a person high on drugs, with a grin reaching his ears. the snow-covered ground became a battle-ground, the two engaging into a chaotic snowball fight. kunikida’s annoyance gradually turned into amusement as he threw, turning uncharacteristically carefree. the two laughed like children on a playground, the chunks of snow glistening, making it look like a hallmark christmas card. to a passerby’s eye, it looked like two grown assed men who were on drugs.

as the snowball fight continued, it got more competitive. kunikida had the sudden urge to outwit dazai, and started to become strategic, hiding behind various things and even building a snow fort. He began a pattern of throwing each snowball while dazai skillfully dodged his attacks and snapped back with his own. in the midst of the laughter, they found a shared joy of letting go of their burdens (well, mostly on kunikida’s part) and embracing the lightness of the moment. kunkida’s mind shifted away from his ideals, and dazai from his future suicide attempts. they just became two individuals enjoying each other’s company in the purest form of fun. Eventually, fatigue caught up to them, leaving their laughter to only breathless chuckles, with fog coming out of their mouth. they stood facing each other covered in snow with comfortable silence. dazai’s grin turned into a warm smile, brushing snow out of his hair. kunikida did the same with his coat.

“you know, kunikida,” dazai began, still trying to get a chunk of snow on his coat. “it’s good to let loose sometimes.” kunikida nodded, cleaning his glasses. “yes, I suppose you’re right,” he paused and cleared his throat, “for once.” dazai only laughed and went towards him, making kunikida hesitant and step back a little. he brushed more snow out of kunikida’s face which caused him to slightly flush. “you’re always being so uptight,” dazai said softly. “you should loosen up more.”

“...well, um, i-”

“also I have a confession to make,” dazai said seriously, which caused kunikida to twitch, making his ears turn red. “since you were (assuming) doing work, could you do…mine?”

“what.”

“okay here me out, so, um, i was busy having-”

“a one night stand,” kunikida interrupted. “or a suicide attempt. or drinking beer and zoning out.”

“...that’s not true! i was fooling around-, no, wait, um, i mean MENTORING, atsushi for his job with kyoka-”

kunikida turned around and started walking away. “H..Hey! Wait, PLEASE KUNIKIDAAA,” dazai went on his knees. “PLEASEEE, I PROMISE I’LL-”

kunikida sighed and stared back at him, his expression unreadable. “i’ll do it for you. but you have to do something, for once.” dazai beamed and dusted off the snow on his pants. “thanks, kunikida.”

awkward silence.

“...i’ll have to get going.” kunikida said, breaking the silence. “hm? oh, yeah.” dazai replied, sort of red-faced. probably the cold. kunikida guessed. “see you tomorrow! we should do this again,” dazai grinned. kunikida nodded.

they both go to their respective apartments, both smiling (kunikida’s almost barely noticeable). kunikida arrived back, taking off his shoes and closing his window for any further cautions. he was about to start his work, but he decided to take a small break, because after all, maybe the troublemaker, osamu dazai, was right.

⋆｡𖦹 °✩ 06.09.23, do not repost or translate my content :^)

[04mxfutbol]

Reality (Pt. 2) (Christen Press x Reader)

A/N: I listened to My Tears Ricochet by Taylor Swift on repeat while writing this. Safe to say my tears have been lost somewhere in the fic. Okay enjoy (:

What hurts more than a relationship breakup? A friendship breakup. Gosh do they hurt. It’s a different type of pain.

You don’t know how it got to this point but here you were. Surrounded by so many people yet not even close to the one person you so badly wanted but couldn’t have.

“You look good today.” Megan says sarcastically.

“I feel like shit, god I do this to myself. Over and over.” You say as you set your phone down. “It’s just hard not to.”

“You’re just torturing yourself Y/N.” Alex says as she sits next to you. “You’re just opening that wound even more. Let it heal.”

“I just want to see her without her knowing I’m looking.”

“So a stalker.” Megan says.

“Well.. no? I just don’t want her to know I’m lurking through her page or even her boyfriends page. That would be weird.”

“But she knows who you are.” Alex says.

“That’s still a stalker.” Megan says. “And it is weird.”

“Meg.” Alex says.

“What? It is weird.”

“Shut up already.” Alex says slapping Megan on the arm.

“We aren’t even friends anymore, not like before.” You say as you pull the hoodie over yourself. “I just wish I could go back in time and fix things. But it’s too late now.”

“It gets better with time.” Alex says as she wraps her arm around you.

“Trust me I’ve been waiting but it’s been years Al. It’s been literal years.”

“Give it time Y/N.”

“I hope you’re right Al. I hope you’re right. I can’t move on. I don’t want this to be my life.”

You pull the strings on your hoodie, covering your face as you lean against Alex.

“She’s here.” Alex whispers and you quickly let your head fall onto her lap.

“Hey girls.” You hear Christen say, you don’t look anywhere, you close your eyes pretending to be asleep. “Alex.”

“Christen.” Alex says.

“Where’s your boyfriend?” Pinoe asks and you discretely kick her shin.

“Couldn’t make it today.” Christen says and Alex puts her arm on top of your body.

“Bummer.” Alex says trying not to sound sarcastic. “Would’ve loved to finally meet him. You know, you’ve been dating for two years now.”

“Maybe another time.” Christen says. “I’m sure he’d love to meet you guys, he said he’d try and be here tomorrow.”

“Well that’s great.” Alex says.

“Is she sleeping?” Christen asks as she looks down to you.

“Knocked out.” Alex says as she places her hand on your head. “Long flight you know?”

“If I still remember correctly she probably stayed up all night to make sure she wouldn’t miss her flight.” Christen says, for some reason her remembering that made your heart flutter but also break a little.

She remembers. 

“I hate flights they stress me out.”

“Just sleep I’ll make sure I’ll wake you up if you don't wake up on time.” Christen says and you sigh.

“No because you sleep through your alarms.”

“Oh shush you. Look on the bright side, our families are going on a trip together.”

“True, it was a surprise they said yes.”

“That’s exactly what happened.” Alex says as she remembers last nights events.

“Same old Y/N/N.” Christen says with a chuckle.

“That’s Y/N for you.” Alex says patting your head.

“Well I’ll see you guys later right?” Christen asks.

“Definitely.”

You hear the wheels of a suitcase further away from you, finally lifting your head back up.

“Deep down I trick myself into thinking she loved me too at one point but never told me.” You say with a shrug.

“Come on let’s go back to our room.” Alex whispers as she stands up, extending her hand to you.

The three of you walk up to the hotel room, head rested against Alex’s arm.

As soon as you walked inside you laid down on the bed and curled up into a ball.

“Becky is on her way to grab something from here but don’t mind her.” Alex whispers and you nod.

You soon hear a knock on the door and hear the door open.

“Cap Becky!” Pinoe shouts.

“I’m just here to grab the folder.” Becky says walking into the room.

“Alex.” Becky says and then looks at the body on the bed, that body being you. “Hey Y/N what’s going on?”

“I hate feelings and love.” You say as you stare at the wall.

“Is Christen still being a total loser?” Becky asks.

“She’s not a loser.” You say.

“So it’s Christen.”

“When hasn’t it been.” You hear Pinoe say, you lift your head up and stick your tongue out at her.

“Can I state an opinion?” Alex asks, Becky looks at Alex and she tilts her head.

“Sure.” You say. “What is it?”

“I think there’s more to what happened the night it all went down, from my perspective at least. I mean there’s no reason to end a friendship over two people hanging out right?” Alex says. “I was there that night. I was that person hanging out with you.”

“I was very persistent on her calming down about you and me hanging out often. It didn’t seem like a big deal to me.”

“Then there’s more to it.” Alex says. “Just my opinion.”

“I guess, thanks.” You say as you grab a blanket, covering your head.

The sound machine beside the bed that Alex had turned on to help you fall asleep did it’s magic. Of course with a hint of Taylor Swift playing in the background, Alex knowing all too well it would knock you out, she had a playlist all made for you to sleep to.

“You know we can’t tell her.” Becky says whispering to Alex.

“Y/N needs the closure she deserves.” Alex whispers. “We’ve been lying to her the whole time.”

“We don’t even know the entire story! Christen said something just took over her that night.” Becky says. “You think I know the whole story? I don’t! Christen has been lying to us, we’re not lying to Y/N. We’ve told her all WE know.”

“All we know? Sure, but we sure as heck weren’t blind that night. You and I both know what we saw.” Alex says. “I was there Becky. It happened again that night when we all went together as a team to watch a basketball game.”

“And if we’re wrong? Then what? We give her false hope?” Becky says. “If we’re wrong we destroy her.”

“Well I wasn’t fucking blind that night that’s for sure and you know damn well what you saw that night.”

“I actually kind of agree with Becky here.” Pinoe says. “Are we certain of what we saw that night? Not necessarily but we also can’t kill her hope. We’re not even the ones to be saying what we saw because we all know Christen is the one who truly knows.”

“The same thing happened when we were in college. It was that same look of she wanted me dead.”

“Alex.���

“No I’m serious. But it happened again and this time it looked like she wanted me to know. You were there.”

“We were all there this time but the first time? You said it yourself you guys were in college. We don’t know everything.”

“Christen has been on thin fucking ice since that night.” Alex says. “It’s been years.”

“Until she wants to say something about it then we can say something.” Becky says. “Okay? Okay. We’ve agreed”

Throughout all that whisper yelling you somehow slept through it, the sound machine doing its work as it should and the power of the playlist Alex had made you did wonders.

“You know this is the first time she’s actually getting some sleep. You guys haven’t been there.” Alex says. “I was! I was there! I’ve been there! She barely gets sleep and she needs help. It’s been years!”

“Clearly her first love.”

“You don’t get it, it’s been like this since college. Christen ruined this wonderful human being over what? Stupidity. Ignorance? JEALOUSY?”

“Okay now don’t say things like that.” Becky says. “We don't know that.”

“Y/N needs help I’m talking therapist help to heal and be able to move on.” Alex whispers. "You know I'm right. Christen only ever tries to find Y/N whenever things go wrong in her love life and Y/N being Y/N she lets her back in her life. Then when Christen is better she leaves."

"Okay so Christen is a jerk." Megan says. "What do you expect us to do then?"

"If I knew I would have been doing it already." Alex says as she gets into the bed with you. “She’s been through enough, she’s put up with Christen’s stupid games. Christen gives her false hope.”

“We don't say anything about it yet.” Becky says as she leaves the room.

“My poor Y/N has tried to face reality but can’t because she’s afraid.” Alex whispers as she runs her fingers through your hair.

“At least she has you.” Megan says with a shrug.

“She’ll always have me. That will never change.”

- - - -

“Good morning sunshine.” Alex whispers as she moves the hair out of your face. “Let’s go grab breakfast we’ve got a long day ahead of us.”

“Isn’t today a whole day of team bonding?” You grog out. “If so then I think I’ll take an extra hour of sleep.”

“Funny. Come on get up. Even if it’s team bonding, the time doesn’t change. It’s 7am. Get up.” Alex says as she pulls the first blanket off of you.

“Ugh sometimes this whole being a professional soccer player has its cons. This being one of them.” You say stretching. “A pro of being a professional soccer player is being friends with you.”

“Aww how sweet, nice try. Get up already.”

“You’re so bossy I hope you know that.” You say as you get up from the bed.

“I know.”

After dressing up you both head down to grab breakfast, naturally you sat next to Alex, always feeling protected by her.

“Feed me.” You tell Alex.

“Feed yourself I’m not going to feed you, your hands are working just fine.” Alex says.

“Alex please, I’m sad.” You say, you’re quick to give her the best puppy eyes you could.

“Ugh. Fine. Just this once.” Alex says grabbing your fork and grabbing a piece of fruit. “Open.”

“Thank you.”

Alex continues feeding you some food while also eating her own breakfast. Your head rested on your hand as you look at Alex. You’re interrupted when someone sits in front of you.

“Hi Alex.” Christen says. “Hey Y/N.”

“Hey.” You say quickly then try to scoot closer to Alex

“Christen.” Alex says.

“Al more.” You say opening your mouth.

“That’s the last of it. Now let me eat before we have to go.” Alex says and you nod.

“You two still hang out a lot huh?” Christen says and you turn to face her.

“We do, we actually live together because roommates!” Alex says making you laugh.

“Plus rent is cheap when this superstar gets paid big money with all her sponsors.” You say with a chuckle. “Gotta love living with Alex.”

“Who wouldn’t love having you around all the time. We get to stay in and watch movies and we end up falling asleep on the couch until one gets up and wakes the other up to go to bed. So fun.” Alex says.

“Sounds fun.” Christen says. “Sounds like you two really did solidify that good friendship.”

“Oh yeah, long ago. Ever since college right?” Alex says turning to look at you.

“Um? Yes?” You say.

“Awesome.”

“Very.” Alex says sternly, glaring at the green eyed woman in front of her.

“Alright everyone we’ve brought a team specified in team bonding to come and help this team become better and you know trust each other. We’ll be having activities all afternoon. So after breakfast we head to the conference room.” Vlatko announces. “Also we have Naomi Girma and Taylor Kornieck joining us for the first time. So let’s welcome them both with a good attitude. Dismissed.”

“Great, team exercises. Fun.” Pinoe says. “As if I don’t spend time enough with all of you.”

“You love us though, right?” Rose asks Pinoe.

“You my dear Rose are who I love the most.” Pinoe says patting Rose’s head.

“Ouch.” You say.

“How’s it feel to be a veteran?” Alex asks and you chuckle.

“I feel rather-.”

“Old? Yeah get used to it.” Pinoe says and you shove her.

“I was going to say I feel weird.” You say. “You on the other hand, you are old so time is ticking.”

“You little shit.” Pinoe snarls and you laugh, but soon enough she has you in a headlock.

“Y/N? You still love me even though Pinoe hates you right now right?” Rose asks and you smile.

“I’ll always love you Rose. You’re too precious.”

“Newbies in the house.” Kelley shouts, you turn around and see the two woman walking towards your table.

“Rookies.” You say looking at them.

“They’ll do great.” Alex says and you nod. "Megan let go of Y/N."

"Thanks."

"You're lucky I love you."

“I definitely see Naomi being captain in the future. She has the spirit and looks like could give good speeches.” You say. “But I’m getting ahead of myself.”

“Good thing we all play together in club.” Alex says and you chuckle.

“That’s true.”

You all head to the conference room, sitting down at one of the many tables set up in the conference room.

“I’m ready to get this over with.” You say as you clap.

“Okay everyone, with the people in your table, let’s start with your name and something like a hobby.” One of the woman says.

“So I’m Y/N and I like to sleep? That can be a hobby right?” You ask.

“I think so.” Mal says and you nod your head.

“Then that’s my hobby.”

You looked up from your table, your eyes meeting the green eyes you so hopelessly fell in love with long ago. Christen smiled at you and gave you a little wave. Waving back, you immediately leaned against Alex. Christen’s smile fading away.

“You okay?” Alex whispers and you nod. “Hey. It’s me and you. Me and you always.”

You hoped this camp would finally be the time you both would reconnect after many years of not being friends.

You hoped.

Hoping. Like you always did.

But that hope was running out. You didn’t like that.

“Okay now that you’ve all clearly shared the same hobby. Let’s see if you know each other’s birthday.”

“Birthday’s? BIRTHDAYS? As in the day people were born? I barely even remember mine.” Rose says.

“Yet you remember Wilma’s.” Mal says.

Everyone at your table attempts getting each other’s birthday right when it’s finally your turn you groan. Not wanting to have everyone guessing once again for another birthday that not anyone can barely remember you decide to just make it go quicker.

“My birthday is-.” You’re cutoff by Alex who stops you.

“Oh I know this, easy.” Alex says with a smile. “It’s-.”

“I know your birthday.” Christen says pulling a chair to your table and sitting across from you. Interrupting Alex. “Super easy, Y/N’s birthday is Y/B/D. I know that.” Christen smiles as she looks at you.

You turn to look at Alex who’s just as confused as you are. She shrugs her shoulders as she tries to understand what just happened.

“When’s mine Y/N/N?” Christen asks you as she looks at you, ignoring the others at the table. “Do you even remember mine?”

You reach for Alex’s hand under the table, trying to gain some sort of reality in what seemed fantasy. Alex squeezed your hand three times and you took a deep breath.

"Happy Birthday Chris, what do we have planned for today?" You ask Christen.

"Me and you movies and maybe go to the beach?" Christen asks and you smile.

"Sure, whatever you want. It's your birthday."

“I remember yours, it’s December 29.” You say and you feel your cheeks start to heat up, but also your heart racing.

“I can’t believe you actually remember.”

“I could never forget.”

The rest of the time you were out of it, not focused in team bonding anymore after what had occurred. Your mind still groggy, trying to understand what the hell had just happened.

It wasn’t like Christen to do what she did, plus you had initially thought she didn’t want to talk to you. Yet here she was acting the way she was. It confused you in every single way.

Everything just made you remember the night Christen saw you and Alex holding hands at a game. Which you thought wasn’t a big deal until Alex told you that Christen was practically looking at her like she wanted her dead.

You just never understood why she reacted that way when she sat behind you at the game with her boyfriend. Christen knew you and Alex had always been close you just never thought it’d be a problem.

“Alright everyone you’re dismissed for whatever shenanigans you all will be up to. Be careful.” Vlatko says. “But be careful.”

You immediately get up pulling Alex and Rose.

“I’ve been chosen. Yes.” Rose says.

“I’m terrified of what just happened in there.” You whisper to the two women in front of you.

“Maybe Chris is trying to reconnect?” Rose says shrugging her shoulders. “But it was kind of unexpected if that’s what you’re implying.”

Alex looks at you with worried eyes, wanting so badly to tell you what she had thought of that night, the night everything crumbled for you. But she held back, remembering what Becky had told her.

While you racked your brain trying to find a perfectly good explanation to what had happened, Christen was walking right behind a group of youngsters.

“Did you see Alex’s private story? They went surfing and then to a concert just the other day. How can I trade spots with Y/N? I want to go to concerts too.”

“Y/N has just been going through it, Alex just tries to distract Y/N from practically everything.” Naomi says. “She’s a great friend. They’re both great people.”

“They’re attached to the hip, wherever Alex is, Y/N is right behind. And wherever Y/N is, Alex is right behind.” Taylor says. “I think it’s kind of cute.”

“Oh definitely.” Naomi says with a chuckle. “I do love their weekend cookouts that they invite us to, it relaxes me.”

“Oh my god you’re so right.” Taylor says. 

“What are we talking about?” Ashley asks as she catches up to the two Wave players.

“Alex and Y/N.” Taylor says. 

“Oh my god, they are the cutest. Did you guys see the picture of them both spending the holidays together with their families? When I have a friendship like that I’ll be happy.” Ashley says.

“They’re the best.” Naomi says.

“Cute.” Christen says bitterly as she walks past the girls.

“What was that?” Ashley asks, the two Wave players shrugging in confusion not knowing what may have caused such a reaction from who they thought was the calmest person.

- - - -

After a long two weeks of camp, you were a bit thrilled to return to San Diego. To be in your own bed and be away from all the chaos that occurred. To be as far away from what Alex is saying to be reality you didn't want to face.

Were you not facing reality already? You sure thought you were looking at reality.

“She leaving?” Alex asks and you nod. “If it’s meant to be then it’ll happen Y/N/N.”

“Thanks for that Al but she’s gone now. She always said she didn’t feel the same, others say differently but I do always wonder if at some point she did feel the same for me, for just a little bit.”

“Only she knows I suppose. I can’t read minds or else I’d read minds.” Alex says making you laugh a little bit. “Trust me Y/N. If it’s meant to be then your paths will cross and meet again. Don’t force it.”

“I am a big sucker for hope.” You say softly. “I feel like just waving a white flag you know? I surrender, it’s been years.”

“Don’t wave it.” You hear someone behind you say. “You’re the biggest sucker when it comes to hope and I love that about you. You always have hope. I have no idea what you’re talking about but don’t wave the flag, keep hoping.” Christen says as she flashes you a big wide smile as she walks past you.

“Y-yeah thanks.” You say as you lean into Alex, trying to feel some sort of protection. Alex is quick to react as she wraps her arm around you.

Alex didn't miss the glare Christen was sending her, the same glare she had received from the green eyed woman years ago. Alex tilted her head, she knew that glare, she knew that reaction. Christen was jealous, Alex knew it, it had to be that.

“I have to go but whatever it is don’t wave it. There’s always hope.” Christen says as she opens the door to the car that had just arrived. She opens the passenger door and you see her boyfriend.

“Hi babe you ready to go home?” Christen’s boyfriend says.

“Yeah. Ready.” Christen says as she gets inside. “Y/N don’t lose hope.”

You nod your head as the car drives off.

As soon as the car is far from your sight you pulled out a napkin you had in your napkin from lunch earlier that day.

“Y/N?” Alex asks as she looks at you.

You turn to look at her as you wave the napkin in the air.

“I give up.” You say as you begin to sob.

“Oh Y/N/N.” Alex says as she pulls you in for a hug. You sobbed into her chest as you grabbed the sides of her sweater.

“I just want to talk to her, but at the same time scream.” You say in between sobs.

“Then scream, scream at the sky and scream all you wish you could tell her. Heal Y/N. You deserve to heal from the pain she has put you through.”

You clung onto Alex’s hoodie, a sobbing mess in Alex’s arms.

Some of the older girls walk out of the lobby and they’re met with the sight of you clinging onto Alex, sobbing. They stop as Alex signals them to stop where they are.

“Here I have an idea.” Alex says. “Come on everyone. Follow me.”

Alex took you to a nearby beach, a secluded area where there weren't many people.

“What are we doing here?” You ask Alex.

“Scream. Scream at the sky, scream all you wish you could tell her, scream. Talk to her by screaming at the sky.” Alex says as she holds onto your hand. “Let yourself heal.”

You look at Alex and sniffle. She gives you a supportive smile and nods. You look around and no one was around. You took in a deep breath as you looked up at the sky.

“Scream. Scream all you want.”

You sniffle and wipe your tears. Closing your eyes you replayed every memory, they just all reminded you of what she was to you. She was home. 

“Apparently home doesn't have to be a place.” Christen says as she walks into your bedroom.

“Really? So then what else can it be?” You ask.

“A person.” Christen says as she lays next to you.

“Wow that's deep.” You say as you look up at the ceiling.

“You’re my home.” Christen says making you smile.

“You’re my home too.”

You begin to scream as you open your eyes, looking up at the sky. 

“YOU BROKE ME.” You yell at the sky. “YOU WERE MY HOME. I WAS YOURS.”

“There we go let it go.”

“Me and you forever.” Christen says as she plays with your hair, your head resting on her chest.

“Me and you forever.” You repeat.

“I HATE YOU.” You scream and sob. “I love you.”

“We’re going to live together one day trust me.” Christen says and you laugh. “What? Do you think I’m kidding?”

“Come on Chris maybe for a little but then you’ll get married or something.” You say looking at her.

“Married? Pass. It’ll be me and you living together forever. Nothing can separate us.”

“It was me and you forever.” You sob out.

“You have a boyfriend?” Christen asks and you furrow your eyebrows as you grab your backpack.

“No? Who said that?” You ask as you look at Christen weirdly. “Plus if anything I think I'd have a relationship with a girl first rather than a guy.”

“Oh I just heard something around.”

“Well I don’t so can you calm down?”

“I’m calm.” Christen says making you laugh.

“Why were you losing your mind over that? I don't react that way when you have a boyfriend.”

“I gotta make sure whoever dates you is good for you just like you do for me.” Christen says and you snort.

“Yes because when have you listened to me about your boyfriends, they’ve been terrible and I tell you before. I can sense it way before you do.”

“Yeah but your love life matters to me, I want you to be with someone who loves you and treats you right. I could care less about mine.”

“Clearly. Trust me I know.”

You continue to scream at the sky as you stomp your feet on the sand.

“You ever look at stars and think just how beautiful they are?” Christen asks you as you both lay outside on the lawn.

“Actually, yes.” You say. Christen turns to look at you, a smile plastered on her face.

“Why are you smiling like that and looking at me like that?” You say with a nervous chuckle.

“I’m going to be honest.” Christen says grabbing you hand. “What if we just never get married? What if it’s just me and you forever? Wouldn’t that be nice? Just us and laughter and adventures.”

“I suppose?”

“I’m just really grateful for you and I’m really lucky to have you in my life, you've stayed friends with me for so many years and I know I don't tell you often but I do love you and I appreciate it and all you do for me. I'm sorry I’m not the best of friend, or that I push you away sometimes, I don't mean it. I just don't ever want to lose you.”

“You won't. I don't want to ever lose you either Chris, I don't want to face the world by myself, I want to have you around forever.”

“Us two facing the world together. Facing reality.” Christen says booping your nose. “I love you.”

“Us versus the world.” You say making Christen laugh.

“It's me and you forever.” Christen says as she looks back up at the sky.

As you both laid on the grass Christen reached over to grab your hand, you turned your head and saw Christen looking at you, a very interesting look on her face that you couldn't quite figure out. The soft gaze and her smile.

Christen’s mind was everywhere, but when she would look at you and you smiled, she knew she loved you so much. Everything around you both seemed to not matter, she knew you were her home.

“I’m sorry I don't show it often but I really do appreciate you and I’m sorry I push you away, I don't mean it.” Christen says as she fidgets with your fingers. “I just-.”

“It’s okay you don't have to explain. I’ll always be around.”

“But you're the one who's constantly putting so much into our friendship and I know we've talked about this before, I need to do more.”

“Christen.”

“I don't want to lose you, ever.”

“You won't. Come on Christen we both know we've gone through enough and we’re still here.”

“Yes because you're the one who's always trying to save this friendship.”

“Christen. Hey. It’s me and you. Me and you.”

“Me and you.”

You fall onto your knees as you hide your face in your hands. Trying so hard not to absolutely lose your composure, but you're pretty sure you had already lost it.

"I don't even understand why you're acting like this Chris, you're not like this." You say as you walk closer to her.

"I always say I'm gonna change the way I am to you but never do. I'm a bad person. I'm not a good person." Christen says and you look baffled.

"Don't say that, hey you're not a bad person. You are a wonderful and kind person." You say as you walk up to Christen, cupping her face in your hands.

"I don't know how you're still my friend. You are so fucking amazing Y/N. You don't even know how much you truly are worth, I'm fucking lucky to have you in my life and I should be cherishing you and appreciating you before it's too late."

"I'm right here Chris. I'm right here."

While you sobbed, letting it all out, Christen was with her boyfriend driving home.

“That was the famous Y/N?” Christen’s boyfriend asks.

“That was her with Alex yes.” Christen says.

“Are they together?”

“Who? Alex and Y/N?” Christen asks with a chuckle. “Probably, I wouldn't know.”

“I thought they were together.”

“Yeah well they might as well be.”

“Angry much?”

“No. I just want to go home.” Christen sighs, Christen’s boyfriend sighs and shakes his head as he looks at the road. ”What?”

“You get like this every single time you either hear, see or literally just know she's around. You get so- so..”

“So what?”

“Jealous! Christen you get jealous!”

“I don't know what you're talking about. Why would I be jealous? We haven't been friends since our first year of college.”

"What are you doing?" You ask Christen as you walk into her room.

"Getting ready?" Christen says, you raise your eyebrow as you see what's in her hand.

"What the hell are you going to do with a hammer?"

"Aren't you going to meet someone?" Christen asks and you snort.

"Yes but I can assure you I'll be fine."

"I just gotta make sure they're good for you."

"So you have hammer for that? Christen it's just a date."

"Okay and?" Christen asks as she looks at you, you raise your hands in defeat as you turn around and walk away.

"You're being extra weird."

“I feel like I always come second Christen. Even if she isn't in your life anymore, it seems like she's all you think about.”

“That’s not true.”

“But it is. Christen I’m tired of being second choice to your ex girlfriend.”

“Ex girlfriend? Where the hell did you come out with that conclusion? We were best friends, nothing more. Sure she liked me but I never liked her back.”

"Hey." Christen says as she looks at her neighbor opening the door to her house.

"Christen? Everything okay?" Christen's neighbor asks.

"Can we talk?"

"Sure come in." She says, Christen walks in as she sits on the couch. "No Y/N today?"

"Haha no, she's home."

"Very odd to see you both apart. You guys are always together. She cares about you a lot."

"I care about her too, a lot. She's become someone so important to me and makes me very happy."

"Oh I know." She says with a smirk, a smirk Christen doesn't see.

"Wait what do you mean by that?" Christen asks.

"Nothing. But I'm sure you know."

“She liked you? Oh wow, that explains a lot.” He says.

“Come on you can't be serious.” Christen says with a laugh. 

“I mean it all makes sense, so many times that we went to the carnival on the Fourth of July. Our anniversary. I don't know why I didn't catch that earlier. All those stories you would tell me, I just thought you missed being friends with her.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“Are you that blind to your own feelings? You loved her or love her I don't even know anymore.” 

"Thank you for being in my life even though I don't deserve someone as great as you."

"Chris, come on. We both know you deserve a better friend than me."

"No, if I didn't have you I'm pretty sure I'd look for you. In every universe I think I'd look for you, because without you I feel like something is missing."

“No I didn't and I don't.”

“Our anniversary is something else to you, it’s a reminder of the times when you'd go with her to the carnival. You said it was a tradition. July fourth is our anniversary, but every time it comes around you seem so down, like if you have something else in mind. You have her in mind.”

“Oh my god you can't be serious.”

“I should've seen it sooner.” He says shaking his head.

"You're unbelievable, none of it is true."

"Face reality Christen, fuck."

Alex looked behind you to see the girls looking at you then Alex, a soft smile on their faces. They could see it and feel it. They all walked over to you and Alex, all sitting down on the sand as they hugged you.

"I hope you never forget how much I love you." Christen says as she fixes the blanket over you, running her fingers through your hair. "You don't even understand and you won't ever see how much I truly do love you."

“It was supposed to be me and her forever.” You sob out.

You were healing. Finally healing and they weren’t going to leave you alone to face the world, the reality, all by yourself.

“We got you.” Becky whispers. “We got you.”

It was a reality you had not wanted to face for so long, but you had to accept it sooner than later. This was reality. A reality you had to face without Christen was something you never thought you had to do, but unfortunately it had come to that.

As much as you wanted closure, as much as you wanted to know why Christen had reacted the way she did those nights. You knew you probably wouldn’t ever know, but it was time to start to do what you never wanted. It was time do so, to face reality.

[stardustluvs]

Helllo! This is my first ask, asking from your page. But could you do a reader (any gender or gender neutral) doing their best to suprise Punz and make him smile.

Like reader tries to do anything, even if its something random or just in the middle of nothing. But they try to make him crack a little smile?

Im thinking of a little wholesome today :>

Let Me Love You - Punz X Reader

Word Count: 633

Pairing: Punz x gn!Reader

Summary: After a bad day, gn!reader just wants to see their boyfriend smile again, wanting to take care of him and make him feel better.

Warnings: Punz referred to by his real name

Author’s Note: I saw this in my requests and literally could have melted! This was so cute to write! Also, I know this is probably a tad different than you intended but I think it works just as well!

Requests are open! || masterlist

Today was so off, you couldn’t even put your finger as to why. Well. Maybe you could. Luke had only come out of his bedroom maybe once today and it sounded like it took everything in him to even say a simple “hello” or “good morning.”

You stared at the staircase from the kitchen, debating on going to check on him. Normally he would’ve made more conversation or invited you to come hang out in his room with him or something, but today? Nothing.

You practically lived here now, having spent nearly every day at his house for the past year you’ve been together, so you understood if maybe he wanted his own space, but this felt like something he would’ve said if he felt that way about.

Another moment went by before turning on your heel to go check on him without another thought. As you approached his bedroom door though, you hesitated suddenly.

If he wants space, it should be respected.

The conflicting thoughts battled in your mind but you refused to let it get in the way. What if something was wrong?

You knocked on the door softly, but loud enough he would hear it from inside.

You were about to enter when nothing but silence followed until you could hear your boyfriend’s voice telling you to come in. You frowned softly at the realization his voice didn’t seem…him.

As you opened the door, you peeked your head into the bedroom, glancing around until you found him on his bed, staring down at his phone.

“Are you okay?” You asked him, stepping into the room completely, shutting the door softly behind you as you made your way over to the bed to sit next to him. He was sat up against the headboard of his bed, mindlessly scrolling on what you could only guess was Twitter or Instagram.

He didn’t answer, not unless a soft “mm” counts, and to you, it did not.

You rested your head against his shoulder, watching him scroll. Silently, he laid his head against yours, turning his phone off and setting it in his lap.

“What’s going on, Luke?” You asked him softly, moving your head to look at him.

“Just a shitty day. I had a horrible stream last night and I also barely got any sleep afterward, and I just feel…bleh,” He sighed.

You frowned softly at his answer, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He grabbed your hand softly, rubbing his thumb against it gently, “You don’t need to worry about me, you have your own shit going on,” He said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“You’re literally crazy, come here,” You said, pulling him into a hug.

He hugged you back with a sigh, “Sorry I’ve been so absent today.”

You pulled away, shaking your head ‘no.’

“Don’t apologize for having a bad day,” You said, “here, lay down with me,” You added.

You lay down on his bed, pulling him down with you, throwing the blanket over the two of you.

“Don’t we have stuff to do today?” He asked, after laying down reluctantly.

“Yeah, nap,” You responded with a small laugh, kissing his forehead.

For the first time all day, he smiled softly at you, and it gave you a familiar feeling of happiness.

“I missed your smile,” You told him softly as he rested his head next to yours, facing you.

He hugged your waist as he buried his face into your chest.

It wasn’t often he let himself be the one to be taken care of, but he was always the sweetest when it happened, and you enjoyed getting to return the love you felt for him.

You watched as he drifted off to sleep, running a hand through his hair softly, falling asleep yourself soon after.

[zyonsay]

Tired as hell

Fem aligned people may read but not f3tishize my work!!

Warnings: Being a Line cook sucks, Smoking, Intimacy, Eeby Jeebies

Reader: Genderneutral

Song i listened to while writing: "Lost soul down x Lost soul" by NBSPLV

AN: Hi theree :] Y'all voted for Hobie, y'all get Hobie! I will probably also post a Ghost fic soon, since i already have an idea about what i wanna write! But for now i hope y'all can enjoy this one! Also Fun Fact: The part where i write reader washing salad, that was me today. I was so friggen annoyed by this green piece of shit. Anyways darlings, love y'all! <3

You were washing some salad as your last task for your shift. You kept glancing over to the cheap clock hanging on the kitchen wall above the vacuum sealer. Your shift had already ended, but you wanted to get this stuff done so the others wouldn’t have to finish your work. You worked as a line cook in an 80s Themed diner and were stressed whenever entered the establishment. You loved your colleagues, but the constant nagging of the servers and the regular verbal abuse of your executive chef Jerry really annoyed you.

“I’m out guys!”, you yelled over the loud sizzling of the Beef patty on the grill. You laid the salad into the metal bowl next to you. “Bye darlin’!”, hollered one of the workers.

You left through the back, stepping into the cool Londoner night air. A chill ran down your spine, you’ve been standing in that unbearably hot kitchen for too many hours. You lit a cigarette and started walking home. All you wanted to do now is to flop on your bed and sleep. But you urgently needed to shower first and there was a big possibility that your bed was covered in dirty clothes, so you’d have to move those out of sight too. You suddenly felt someone grab your shoulders and in fear of being shanked by a drunk Brexit geezer you immediately spun around and punched the person right into their stomach.

“FUCKIN’ HELL, Y/N- “, you now saw that you punched your boyfriend Hobie and immediately spilled thousand and thousands of apologies. “Oh my god I’m so sorry sweetheart!”, you put your hand on the hunched over figure, trying to comfort him about the pain you inflicted. “You pack a real good punch mate”, Hobie chuckled with a pain-stricken face. He straightens his posture, seemingly recovered from the pain. You both start walking again, Hobie stealing a cig from you since he always forgets to take any along. And obviously he also forgot to bring a lighter, so you gave him yours with a small grin. He then shot you a toothy smile. “Thanks!”

You were fiddling with your keys, desperately wanting to go sleep. Your partner was standing behind you, pressing a small kiss to your neck. “I’m sweaty.”, you stated as you scrunched your nose. “We’ll shower and then go to bed dear.” Hobie gave you a quick peck to the cheek. You finally found the right key and opened the door of your apartment. You threw your bag on the floor and stripped your boots off, Hobie doing the same.

Hobie began walking towards the bathroom, you followed him in a sleepy manner. You both got rid of your clothes, dumping them in a corner of the room, as you cannot be asked to deal with them now. You tell yourself that you’ll put them aside tomorrow, knowing damn well you won’t. You and your boyfriend hop in the shower and begin lathering up your bodies with showering gel that smells way too yummy. Hobie lets his hands wander, giving you gentle squeezes on your hips, shoulders, and ass. You jokingly roll your eyes at his cheeky actions, allowing your head to lean against his shoulder. He pulls you into a gentle kiss, caressing your face softly. “Your shoulders feel tense.”, he mumbled quietly. He slowly spun you around and began massaging your shoulders, earning groans from his beloved boyfriend.

After you both rinsed off the soap, you stepped out of the shower, reaching desperately for the towel. You got sleepier by the minute and struggled to keep your eyes open. Hobie gently led you to the bedroom, disposing of all the clothes lying on your bed. He brought you one of his T shirts and a pair of underpants, handing them to your tired self.   You dropped the towel and got dressed.  Then you flopped into the patterned sheets, burying yourself in them. Your boyfriend let out a quiet chuckle and laid down, pulling you into his arms. He began caressing your back, knowing you love his soft touches. Hobie then nuzzled into the creek of your neck, getting all cozy and comfy. Your breathing fell into a peaceful rhythm as you finally fell asleep in your boyfriends’ arms.

“Love you.”

[gav1whore9]

Omg this was actually a request for a cock warming smut but I accidentally deleted it so I’m very sorry but here it is.

(Also the Spanish part of the story is from Google translator so I’m sorry if I get anything wrong)

I also wanna say that I haven’t been aktiv since school just started but I will give my best and continue writing for our boyfriend😉. Enjoy 💕🧚🏼‍♂️

gavi was at an event today but i didn't really want to go plus I had to prepare a few things for work so i stayed at home

actually i had planned to stay awake and wait for gavi to come home so i laid down on the couch and continued watching my series. because of all the work and the stress i fell asleep on the couch after a while, it was around midnight so i gave up hope that gavi is still coming . i thought that he was too drunk to drive and that he is sleeping over at pedris (wouldn’t be the first time) and that was my last thought before I fell asleep.

Gavis pov:

It was around 1 in the morning when I came back home I didn’t actually planned on staying that long but the team wouldn’t let me leave. I fell a little bad though because I let y/n stay at home the whole night she was probably asleep already. Even though I’ve been with my team the whole night I just couldn’t stop thinking about her at after a bit I got really horny and that just by the thought of her so I was kind of hoping that she I still awake

Y/ns pov:

It was like an hour later when I heard the sound of keys at our apartment door but I immediately knew that it was him but I didn’t stand up I just pretended like I was still asleep and then I heard him come into our room, the first thing he said was “oh, mi niña bonita, siento mucho que hayas esperado tanto„

I wanted to answer because that was so cute but something said to me to just keep pretending like I was sleeping. After that I could hear that he started to undress him self since he was still wearing his outside clothes, but then he said something that shocked me and made me wish I wasn’t this tired

“you don't know how much i wished you were still awake my thoughts were with you the whole time, your body and the way you scream my name while i fuck you”

I can not wait for tomorrow because then I will give him what he was craving for this whole night

As he laid in bad with me he kissed me in the head I could feel his hard cock against my ass though. but then he pulled me even closer to him and I moaned on accident

“bonita, lo siento mucho, no quise despertarte„

“it’s okay Pablo I don’t mind, you know if it would help you sleep better you can put it in me„

He turned me around so he could look at me

“You mean like cock warming?”

“Yeah pablito but only if you want and with the rest I will help you tomorrow”

Of course hermosa you don’t even know I’m so hard for you that it’s starting to hurt”

“I know Pablo now just put it in in might help a little”

I only had a long tshirt and panties on I didn't have a bra

I then pulled down his boxers when his dick sprung up and hit his stomach.

I took my panties of and slid down on his dick

“Ahh shit hermosa i love you so much”

“I love you to bonito good night”

It felt so good having him inside of me I could fell his pulse in side of my pussy

Pablo sighed so few Times and then It didn’t took us long till we both had fallen asleep

[nowoyas]

Koi no Yokan 11: write it again (Nishinoya Yuu/Reader)

First - Prev - Next - M.list - Ao3

A/N: SURPRISE DOUBLE UPDATE I felt bad leaving off the last chapter like that for a week. enjoy!

Summary: Pieces are picked up as you find yourself in a downswing. Your Senpai lifts you up with ease.

Warnings and tags: blanket series warnings, uhhh depiction of depression

Words: ~4200

Tanaka to [name] at 12:45

Tanaka: hey are you free? I talked to the third years about what happened last night and they wanted to talk to you

[name]: uh technically yes?

[name]: but I'm not at school today

Tanaka: oh

Tanaka: everything okay?

You sigh. Re-cross your legs on the couch, head tilted back over the arm. A moment's contemplation leads you to the conclusion that what you're willing to tell him is nothing.

[name]: yeah? I just didn't wanna go

[name]: don't YOU start riding me just because I got punched :P I get that enough from noya-senpai tyvm

Tanaka: the worry or the punching?

[name]: I think it's funnier if I say punching so let's go with the latter

Tanaka: unfortunately for you he just caught up to us. He's grumpy

[name]: ???

Tanaka: apparently the girl he likes isnt at school today or something so he has to settle for lunch with us single lameasses

Your phone buzzes with a text from another conversation. Predictably, it's Noya. You… don't really want to talk to him right now. The main reason you skipped school today was because you didn't want to face him after yesterday, after all.

[name]: uh-huh

[name]: I can say with a reasonable degree of confidence that he is ALSO single. Just for your reference

Tanaka: for how long? You spent, what, six hours cuddling each other yesterday and then walked home together?

[name]: I can

[name]: LITERALLY

[name]: see his house from where I'm sitting in my living room right now

Tanaka: ok and??? Kiyoko-san won't even walk two steps of the way home with literally any of the guys

[name]: do you have any idea how much work it would take for me to NOT walk home with noya-senpai

[name]: the stupid games I would have to go through to not be seen walking near his house

[name]: it'd be cruel at best for literally no reason and I don't have the energy for that shit

[name]: shimizu-senpai probably just doesn't wanna lead any of you guys on

Tanaka: …not to accuse you of anything but are you implying YOU'RE leading noya-san on???

[name]: first of all nothing before the word "but" actually matters, like, ever

[name]: second of all no

[name]: I've made myself very clear from the beginning and have not said or done anything I didn't mean

Tanaka: so the cuddling

[name]: I'm going to block you

Tanaka: no don't

Tanaka: but seriously, don't hurt him, alright?

Tanaka: he's a good guy

You pause. Sigh again.

He really, really is.

[name]: I know.

Before you can type a follow up, you receive three more texts from Noya in succession. Based on the notification previews, they're all Soba photos. You huff softly.

[name]: probably too good for me.

Tanaka: ?

[name]: you can tell the upperclassmen that if they wanna talk in person, I'll be at school tomorrow, but that kageyama hitting me was an accident, I'm not mad, and it's literally fine

Tanaka: wait let's circle back to that last text for a second

You consider blowing him off with an excuse, but…

Yeah, no. You swap over to the texts from Noya. Three new pictures of Soba.

Noya: [NAME]-SAN WHERE ARE YOUUUUU

Noya: [image attached. Image description: a very blurry closeup of Soba's ear.]

Noya: [image attached. Image description: Soba curled up on top of someone's hair, which is splayed on the floor around her head. If you remember correctly, the girl pictured is Satsuki, the youngest of Noya's older sisters. She appears to be near tears, ostensibly at the kitten sleeping in her hair.]

Noya: [image attached. Image description: Noya from behind and a distance away, hunched over a table. His face is not visible, but he is wearing a loose tank top which shows off his arms. Soba can be seen curled up in a ball on the back of his neck.]

You stifle fond laughter at the last photo, zooming in on Noya Soba. After a moment of staring, you move to type out a reply.

[name]: I skipped

[name]: I'm a rebel now

[name]: real bad influence

[name]: you should run before you get my bad reputation wrapped up in your perfect record

Noya: I CAN'T GO ALL DAY WITHOUT SEEING YOU I'M GONNA GET THE SHAKESSSS

Noya: I'VE BEEN SUSPENDED BEFORE YOU CAN ONLY IMPROVE MY RECORD

[name]: drugs are bad for you, senpai

[name]: if you're experiencing withdrawal symptoms I can only assume that you need time away from me to break the addiction

Noya: >:(

[name]: how do you always manage to send a different photo of soba? I'm checking my album of saved soba photos and you haven't sent a single repeat

Noya: I move them into a different folder once I send them to you

Noya: like I could EVER give you any less than the best

Noya: it's like you don't even know me

[name]: does this mean you're not gonna send me the ones you showed me on the bus??? :(

Noya: let me get on wi-fi and I will send you ALL of them

[name]: oh thank god. You scared me there

Noya: so if you've saved ALL the soba photos does that include the thirst trap?

Noya: because I can send you higher quality ones if you want

You roll your eyes and swap back to your texts with Tanaka.

Tanaka: you know he's crazy for you right?

[name]: do me a favor and punch him

Tanaka: you're dodging the question

[name]: *PLEASE* do me a favor and punch him?

Tanaka: we're with daichi-san he'll yell at me

[name]: I'll vouch for you

Tanaka: deal

~

In the middle of the third-year's floor, as Noya is switching between texting, presumably, you, and demanding the story of how Shouyo and Kageyama managed to send the VP's toupee flying while Noya was still suspended, Tanaka punches him in the shoulder hard enough that he nearly drops his phone.

"Dude!"

He holds up both hands, as if innocent. "[name]-san asked me to."

Noya glares, but he does not hit back, and even Daichi accepts the explanation with a raised eyebrow at Noya.

"Should I even ask what you did?"

"I'll have you know, I am innocent—"

"Sure you are."

~

You spend the rest of what would have been lunch period this way: texting Noya and Tanaka, ignoring the things they want you to focus on. Feeling the seeds of guilt sprout and wrap around your throat. They germinate properly over the rest of the day, until, by the time school lets out, you're choking, unable to make yourself focus even on pointless shit like the game you've been playing most of the day.

You need advice. You have no one. Who the fuck would you ask? You've got this weird complex about Yachi existing, not to mention she's clearly got zero experience dating. Any of the guys on the team are going to not only be clueless but likely jump right to whatever Noya's side is, not to mention likely tell him about it. Mom's dead. Dad doesn't care. You burned every single bridge possible from middle school, so the only people you could even consider to be friends are in the volleyball club.

…Shimizu probably knows at least one thing about guys, and she's not likely to talk about it to anyone who would mention it to Noya…

She'd given you her number early on, in case you need anything or have any questions. You haven't really used it, not wanting to bother her, but…

You have absolutely nowhere else to turn.

At the very least, it's right around the time classes would let out. You type out a message reaching out. Delete it. Type it again. Rinse and repeat the process a couple of times, getting no closer to a message you're satisfied with.²⁰

Before you can settle on and send something, there's a knock at your door, followed by a wailing "[name]-saaaaaan!" that drops your heart into your stomach. You could pretend not to be home. He wouldn't buy it, but he might at least get the message. Instead, your phone buzzes with a new text.

Noya: I KNOW YOU'RE HOME

Noya: OPEN THE DOOR I'M GOING TO DIE OUT HERE

You sigh and toss your phone aside. Answer the door with a looming sense of dread.

"Nishinoya-senpai."

The pitiful look on his face snaps away as he sees you—exasperated, visibly tired you, likely with bags under your eyes and a puffy face from crying you got done earlier in the day—and you raise an unimpressed eyebrow as he blushes. "Marry me," he blurts.

"Dare I ask why?"

"Please?"

"Nine fifty-nine."

He nods, swallows, eyes locked onto your legs, and—oh. That's why.

Part of skipping school meant no uniform, no long pants, no covering up, so here you are—oversized hoodie, short shorts that only just peek out from beneath its edges. You're showing as much leg as you can get away with while still technically wearing something other than underwear.

Face burning, you try to shut the door. Noya's fast, though, which you knew, and he catches it. "[name]-saaaan! Are you mad at me?" he whines.

You roll your eyes. "I'm not mad at you."

You should kick him out. Lock the door. Quit the club and never look at him again and lock yourself in your room and—

"Why'd you skip school, then?"

"Didn't feel like being alive today."

He studies you—the same quiet sort of look he got during the training camp, playing against tough teams. The focus of him trying to figure something out, you realize.

You sigh for the fiftieth time. "It was just a rough day."

"Wanna come see Soba, then?"

"I'm in my pajamas," you state bluntly.

"I mean, you can get changed if you want, but personally, I think they're cute. Also personally, I would enjoy getting to see you in this outfit for the next several hours and also the rest of my life. Marry me?"

You tug the ends of your hoodie down to cover your legs. "Either come inside or get off my porch so I'm not standing here in my PJs, and ask another nine hundred and fifty-eight times. But you should probably consider just giving up on me instead."

He strides inside, humming victoriously. You don't miss the way his eyes continue to linger on your legs.

Pervert.

"This again? I keep telling you, I'm not going anywhere. How's your lip doing?"

"It's not swollen anymore," you answer. He seriously breezed right past it. "I can't stop messing with it, though."

"Well, stop messing with it," he jokes. He flops down onto your couch, eyes dancing over you as you watch him. "Sure you don't wanna come pet my cat? She misses you."

"I dunno," you admit finally, shoulders dropping. "I was really planning on isolating myself from all of society and never going outside again."

"Why?"

A shrug. "Seems like the right course of action."

"Well, I think your plan sucks. Come pet my cat and play video games with me instead."

"You're starting to make me think that 'pet my cat' is a euphemism or something."

"Maybe. What's a euphemism again?"

"…if you don't know then I am not going to tell you."

"Then I'm gonna demand equivalent payment to knowledge."

"Demand all you want, but I still have to get changed if I'm coming over."

"Do you have to get changed if I stay here?" he asks, grinning. "Or do I have to take a picture?"

Your cheeks flare, and you find a throw pillow to—what else?—throw at him. "Shut up. I'm gonna go get dressed."

"You're the one who answered the door," he calls after you as you disappear down the hall.

On your way to get changed, you very briefly consider either wearing something particularly unflattering out of spite, or just going straight for murder. You end up doing neither and letting Noya lead you back to his house, to a warm place with a soft cat and people who come home.

~

This is how you spend the afternoon: the same oversized hoodie, shorts that are a more acceptable length. Soba comes out of hiding while you're wrecking house in a shooter that Noya had on deck and curls up in between the two of you, her head against your thigh and her back paws against Noya's. Between matches, you pause to take a picture of her and end up with two—one of her between you, one of a distracted Noya, his head turned to look at someone past you who's just stopped in the hallway to stare at you.

A girl stands there, staring at you incredulously. You recognize her, you realize: not just from a couple of Soba pictures you've seen or been sent, but the Karasuno uniform really helps you contextualize her. A third year you've seen around, with long black hair, a bleach-blonde streak in her bangs that you've envied in passing when you've caught sight of her.

And, now that you have both the context of her standing in Noya's living room and can compare them directly, so undeniably a Nishinoya that you're not sure how you didn't make the connection sooner.

She stares at you for a second. Looks at Noya. "…holy shit. I dunno what's freaking me out more right now: the fact that Jii-chan was not joking about the cute girl you brought home, or the fact that Soba is even willing to exist in the same room as her."

You stifle a laugh. He grabs at his chest in dramatic offense, moreso at your laughter than at his apparent sister's implication that he wouldn't be able to bring a girl over.  "Uh, sorry for the intrusion," you say, hand pressed against your mouth.

She shakes her head. "Don't mind me. I'm just here to bully Yuu. Speaking of, Yuu, I seriously thought Jii-chan was lying when he said you'd had a girl over the other day."

"Why does everyone act like it's so impossible a girl might give me the time of day?"

You rest your chin in your hand, smile smugly at him over the Soba gap. "I wonder."

The girl laughs. "I like her already. I'm Satsuki, by the way. Thanks for putting up with my little brother. And somehow getting him to study. I heard he actually didn't fail his exams this time around."

Score. You're one for one on correctly remembering which sister is which. You steal a chip from Noya with a grin. "Nice to meet you. No need to thank me, though."

"You don't get to tease me for not studying when you never study," Nishinoya fires back at her. "Come back when you sit down with flashcards."

"Ooh, flashcards. I don't study because I don't need to. Unlike you, I pay attention in class and actually remember things that are told to me."

"I remember things!" he protests. "I remember all kinds of things!"

"Right, sure, yeah. Remind me, what'd you get on your last quiz?"

"…a 48," he admits lamely.

"Wait, really?" you perk up. "That's amazing! Wasn't your quiz before that like, a 32?"

"Uh, yeah. But that's still not exactly great—"

You throw a chip at him without thinking. It misses entirely. "Shush. That's a massive improvement. You're doing great."

"…damn. I really like her. Hey, are you single?" Satsuki grins at you.

You roll your eyes. "We're now two-for-three on family members trying to set me up with a certain someone, but yes, I am, in fact, single."

Her eyes flick to Nishinoya. Her grin widens. "You like girls?"

"Satsuki!"

…oh. You freeze to the spot. She's just… asking that? Outright? "I, um…"

"First of all, I obviously have dibs," Noya snaps. You eye him nervously, looking for anything like disgust or discomfort, but all you're getting is indignation. "Second of all, off-limits. Whoever your next messy breakup is, it's not involving my friends, thanks."

"Fine, fine," Satsuki says, waving a hand as she cuts through the room. "Best of luck with that one, but if you break up, I'm going for it."

When she's left, you sigh, eyeing Nishinoya nervously. Your reaction was maybe a bit too obvious—there's no way he doesn't figure you out now.

"Sorry," he sighs. "She didn't make you uncomfortable, did she?"

"N-no, um—it's fine."

He studies you a moment, sets his controller aside. "Wait, is that why you keep mentioning that I should give up? Are you…?"

There it is. The second of many things you really didn't want brought up. "If you're gonna tell everyone, just let me know now so I can quit the club."

"I'm not—look, it isn't—" He sighs. "If you're gay, I should actually give up. I'm not a complete asshole, you know."

"I don't—it's not—I don't really know?" you admit, voice small. "I mean, I knew I liked girls. I had a girlfriend back in middle school. Well, we weren't dating dating, but she was, you know, we did stuff together. And it was fun and I liked her a lot, and then my mom died and she like—we just—we broke up. And now I'm in high school and I do whatever I want because Otoo-san doesn't give a shit what I do and what I want is to just not think about it. So I haven't."

"Can you think about it? If I have to become a girl for you to marry me, I need to start planning."

You let out a surprised laugh. "Don't, oh my god."

"But [name]-san," he pouts.

Your expression shifts into something mischievous as the tension bleeds away. "Give me one good reason why, assuming I'm gay, I wouldn't just go for your hot sister instead."

Noya launches himself at you, sending Soba yowling her displeasure as she bolts from the space between you. "Take it back!"

"Never!" You wrestle him right back, unable to contain your laughter, until the two of you tumble off the couch with a thump, Noya landing on top of you. For half a moment, it's suggestive, and then he's right back to making you laugh and squirm to get out of his hold. "Lemme goooo!"

"Not until you take it back!"

"I'm right—"

"Wow," Satsuki snorts as she cuts back through the room, now equipped with a can of soda. "Hey, [name]-chan, right? I think that's what Yuu was calling you. Are you completely sure you're single?" She cracks open the soda with a pshh, takes a slow sip as the pair of you freeze.

You'd already forgotten she was home.

You splutter, try to shove your way out of Noya's arms. "Just because I'm under attack does not make me in a relationship, thank you very much!"

"Right." She raises an eyebrow at you. "Well, far be it from me to define your relationship or proclaimed lack thereof. Just, you know, maybe don't go getting pinned down by guys unless you don't mind people thinking you're together. That's all."

"Oh, believe me, if I'd had any warning he would be the one on the floor right now," you grumble.

She snorts. "You're confident. I'd kinda like to see you kick someone's ass. Might be kinda—"

"Satsuki if you finish that sentence I swear to god—" Noya interrupts.

She exits swiftly, laughter echoing behind her. For a moment, the pair of you sit there in silence, staring at each other. Noya's expression is one of transcendent blankness. You're reminded of the calm before the storm, the look in a baby animal's eyes before it does something it's just learned it shouldn't, and then he's tackling you again.

When the dust settles, you feel bubbly and light, the impossible weight of the morning nearly forgotten. Noya helps you back onto the couch, and you settle back into games to fill the space, both with stupid smiles on your lips that won't seem to fade. As the time stretches closer to when you should go home—not to intrude on dinner with his family, your mind lingers on the question, and when you've decided it's time to leave, he derails your train of thought completely.

"I'm bi, you know," he says suddenly, eyes focused on the screen.

You pause, looking at him with a deer-in-headlights expression. "Huh?"

"I'm bi. Dudes are hot. Girls are really hot. Also, I got you."

Your attention snaps back to the screen as Noya executes your character with a well-aimed headshot. Your jaw drops. "Did you just fucking—come out to me so you could finally get a kill in!?"

"A little," he shrugs. He fails to hide his smug expression. "I mean, I also just wanted you to know, but just look at that replay! That was a beautiful shot, if I do say so myself."

You have half a mind to bash his head in with the controller. Everyone should applaud your restraint. "I cannot believe you."

"Please believe me. I actually am bisexual."

Both controllers are set aside now, the lobby music filling the space as you take it in. "…who knows?"

"Mei does. Satsuki and Kaede, too. Soba was the first one I told. I haven't really brought it up to Jii-chan or Okaa-san, but I'm pretty sure they'd be cool with it. I mean, Satsuki came out basically the second she figured out she was gay, and they don't treat her any different. Okaa-san's even super nice and welcoming to Satsuki's girlfriends, even though we haven't really liked any of them so far."

Notably absent from the list: anyone from school.

"The guys don't know?"

He shrugs. "I don't really want to risk them not thinking they can trust me."

Oh. Oh.

"Oh, Noya," you breathe. "You don't think any of 'em are…"

"I dunno. My two modes are really 'don't worry about it' or 'go all-in', but Mei got me thinking about what would happen if they aren't all chill, and… I dunno. It pisses me off to not tell 'em, but it'd piss me off more if volleyball stopped being fun."

You grip the fabric of your shorts, toying with the hem in hopes of tying your thoughts together. "How'd you know? That you were bi, I mean."

He leans back casually, smiling when Soba returns to leap onto his lap. Apparently, she's finally forgiven you both for your earlier transgressions. Your eyes linger on his easy posture, the way he pets Soba as he slings an arm over the back of the couch and thinks. "Asahi-san and Ryu, mostly."

"…but you just said no one on the team—ohh."

He nods, flashes an almost sheepish grin. His cheeks are faintly pink, and you're reminded of the way your eyes used to linger on Kasumi, not quite wanting to stray away.

You stifle a laugh. "I'm not making fun of you, I just—your type is either 'big shy sweet teddy bear' or 'kind-hearted delinquent'? What's the connection there?"

He flushes harder. "Look—"

"Wait, I got it. Wing spikers."

He shoves your shoulder as you laugh harder. "Oh, you shush. What's your type, then?"

"Cool and pretty," you reply automatically. "And good hair. Ideally soft."

"Oh, good. I know a guy."

You roll your eyes. You know exactly where he's going with that. "Uh-huh. I'm sure. Go on? I'm kind of in the middle of a bisexual crisis right now."

"Fine, fine. So I basically knew I liked girls from, like, pretty early on. See girl, girl pretty, like girl. You know?"

You nod sagely. "Easy enough."

"And so I'm playing volleyball, having a good time, going to high school and having fun, and just… really enjoying the moments where I just get to look at Asahi-san as he's going for a spike, or when Ryu is hyping me up, and it's different. You know?"

"I… don't really get it," you sigh. "Like, I feel like I do, I just… I dunno."

But then you think of the Soba photos you've favorited, the ones where you zoom in not on Soba but on her owner, and something clicks a little bit. The inability to tear your eyes away when the entire team decides to just openly strip their shirts off. The way your eyes catch on nice shoulders, arms, backs, and linger too long there, and the pulling feeling in your stomach when you look too long or your mind wanders.

Whatever face journey you're going on, Noya grins as he watches it, posture languid as you arrive at a deeply unfortunate conclusion.

"Okay, so maybe I like men."

"So maybe you're bisexual."

"So maybe I am."

"So you'll marry me, right?"

"Maybe if you hit your quota."

"I can arrange that."

Footnotes

20. Perhaps not by coincidence, this is also how I wrote this fucking chapter.

Tags: @deeplightgarden @idonthaveanameideayet @dusstory @kazunish

[youstopmyheartfrom50feets]

What if you did a Remus ending and a James ending?👀

Because I don’t think I can choose! I already regret voting for Remus but I know that I would’ve also regretted voting for James.

It’s impossible to decide between the two😭

Ikrrr!!! It is difficult to choose😭😭

Anyways so, the votes have chosen Remus and I personally don't like the second chance trope but since you're the first person to request me a fic on Tumblr, I had to do it. So this one is for you 🫶🫶

Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have (alternative ending)

Part 1: The Other Women

Part 2: Violets for Roses

A/n: I am a year late💀💀 I'm sorry, I had been really busy with my school work and literally had no time to write but now I am on a vacation and I can continue writing 😋

Angst/Fluff.

Trigger warnings:- Cheating/infidelity, slight swearing, second chances

3rd Person POV

The sunrays coming through the window were pricking her eyes. She tried covering them with the pillow but that didn't help with the pain in her eyes.

Heaving a deep sigh, she got up from the bed. That's when she noticed that James was still laying beside her. Before her lips could curve up in a smile, the memories of last night came flooding back to her.

"Lily! Shit! I'm close!"

Those words kept on echoing in her ears. She went inside the bathroom to freshen up but stopped on her tracks when she saw her reflection in the full body mirror at the corner of her room.

Just a few hours ago she looked at a perfect woman with a perfect body, perfect hair and perfect makeup. All fancied-up for her husband.

But now, now she looks at a disheveled face with dark circles under her eyes which were intensified with the smudged mascara. Her eyes were small and puffy from the tears that her pillow absorbed. The white of her eyes still had strands of red in them. Her face was empty of any emotions, the glow that she once had, was gone. She looked exhausted as if she hasn't been able to sleep for centuries.

She let out a silent sigh, shaking her head she went in the bathroom to take a shower. The water felt like bullets entering her body but it didn't hurt. She was desperately trying to wash away the memories of last night but she couldn't. She wanted to crawl back into her bubble but she couldn't. She blamed herself and that damn bubble for the position she is in today.

Only if she had not created the bubble back then, she would've noticed the stolen glances, her husband and her twin shared during the family gatherings.

She cursed her self for being so blind, for falling in love with the man who was in love with her sister.

h

Half an hour later, she came out of the bathroom, dried herself, put on some light makeup and looked at herself in the mirror. She felt pity for the women in the mirror.

She felt the tears prick her eyes but she somehow controlled them and walked downstairs towards the kitchen.

It was a Sunday morning and she was pretty sure James wouldn't wake up anytime soon because of the amount of liquor he had consumed yesterday, so she didn't bother to prepare a breakfast.

She prepared herself a bowl of cereal and started munching on them.

There were whirlpool of emotions wrecking havoc in her brain. She had tried her best to ignore all the concerned voices of her well wishers, telling her about James' infedeility.

She could clearly hear Remus warning her about the possible affair. At the time she didn't pay any attention to his words and now those very words were pricking her throat making their way down to her heart.

Shaking her head and wiping a single tear that sprung out of her eye, she started doing the dishes when she heard footsteps coming down the stairs. She didn't expect James to wakeup so early.

He was in a pair of new boxers, his hair was disheveled and he looked like he came back from death.

"Morning, what's for breakfast?" James asked in a groggy morning voice.

"What do you want, haven't made anything yet."

"Uh, I'll have pancakes and Sirius would probably have bacons and eggs." James let her know his preference.

"Sirius?" She asked him a bit confused.

"Yeah, it's Sunday love, he always has his breakfast with us on Sundays." James reminded her.

She just nodded at him and started preparing the breakfast demanded. She couldn't believe how laid-back he was acting as if he wasn't going behind his wife's back with her sister. How easily he called her 'love' as if he didn't whisper the wrong name last night.

She felt animated, machine-like, controlled by a master. A machine which had no feelings or opinions of her own. Any other woman would confront her husband the very first thing in the morning but she felt like she didn't have the right to do so, the right to question James.

It was physically sickening to think about how many times had he come home after sleeping with her and pretended as if nothing had happen, how many times he must have slept with her after sleeping with her own sister.

She couldn't handle it anymore. The emotions were too overwhelming. She could feel the pressure slowly building in her chest. It felt like she would explode if she didn't confront James. She knew there would be consequences, James didn't do well with confrontations but she was ready to risk it.

She went up to James and looked him dead in the eye.

"James?"

"Yes Y/n/n"

"How long has it been going on for?" She questioned him without missing a beat.

"What's going on?" James genuinely looked confused.

"Since when have you been going behind my back with Lily?"

There was a long silence between the two of them. James looked shocked, confused and a little ashamed but in a fraction of seconds the shame in his eyes turned into anger but the anger fizzed out moments later as of something dawned on him. He had hesitation in his eyes.

"Who is filling your ears against me?" James asked in a low voice, coming dangerously close to her, his demeanor seemingly intimidating.

This made her flinch at first but she quickly gained her composure and calmly replied,

"You took her name in bed last night."

This made all his anger and intimidation fade and guilt and shame took its place instead.

"Nobody provoked me against you James, in fact I chose to ignore all the people who were concerned about me, who thought you were being unfaithful to me. I chose to ignore all those stolen glances, little ambiguous smiles, those indirect flirtious comments you passed. I chose to ignore all of it until I could not. How would you feel if I had taken another man's name in OUR bed on OUR wedding anniversary." She stated in a calm but stern voice.

"The fact is James, unlike for you, you weren't a replacement, you were everything, you were my world. Any sane person would want to hold on to the very last shred of their world. That's what I did until last night, when my entire meaning of existence came down shattering. James, I-I don't know what to do ahead of now, but it is for sure that I won't let you break my heart again.

Letting her stance be known, she swiftly headed for upstairs. James tried to stop her and explain her his side but she wasn't ready for more bulshit.

"Y/N, please listen to me, I-"

"No James, I don't wanna hear anything. There's nothing you can say that'll convince me to be back to normal. You fucked up James, now own upto it and face the consequences."

She couldn't look at James because she knew the moment she looked into his innocent eyes, she'll melt and she couldn't afford doing that.

She locked herself in her bedroom and sat on the floor, leaning against the door. She felt as if her insides were lit on fire. She knew she was going to lose James after this, she might even lose her family, she might lose her whole life.

The thought brought out a sob out of her throat and the tears which flowed yesterday, came rushing back in her eyes, again to fall into mindless oblivion.

This time she wasn't silent, her cries could be clearly heard, her pain could be felt in the surroundings.

A few minutes later, she heard a knock on the door. Before she could ask the person to go away, she heard a known voice call her name.

"Y/n/n, please open the door." Sirius asked in the most soothing voice.

"Go away Sirius, not in a mood to talk." She said in a dejected voice.

"Y/n James is ready for any decision that you make, he'll support you if you want stay and also, if you want to leave but atleast hear him out, there are few things he'd like to make clear."

Sirius's words erupted a volcano inside of her, the anger, the frustration, all the betrayal she had felt for the past 5 years just came rushing down her throat, like clouds filled with rain, eager to pour down.

She angrily opend the door almost breaking it with sheer physical force. She could see the horrified look on Sirius and James's faces but it didn't affect her one bit.

She looked straight into Sirius's eyes and started screaming at him.

"YOU KNEW HE WON'T BE FAITHFUL, YOU KNEW HE WASN'T OVER HER AND YET, YET YOU LET HIM GET MARRIED TO ME! WHY! ONLY TO HAVE MY LIFE RUINED! ONLY FOR MY HUSBAND TO CHEAT ON ME WITH SISTER!

All of this was happening so quickly, she wasn't able to get hold of her emotions. One moment she wanted to disappear and the other she wanted to demand explanations for all her miseries.

She looked at both of them and addressed James,

"Since when has this been going on? Was it before the wedding or after it? Did you fuck her on our wedding day? Oh, did you sleep with her on our first night?"

They both remained quiet, looking at their feet, too ashamed to meet her eyes.

At this point, She was shaking with anger. She could feel her pulse in her head, her heart felt as if someone has lit it on fire. She was desperate for their explanation and then letting them know her decision. But, she didn't know what the decision was. Where would she go, what would she do, how would she survive in this world without friends or family.

"Come on! Give me a damn explanation!" She demanded.

"Y/n I know now is not the moment to ask you to calm down but can we atleast discuss this in the living room, please." Sirius pleaded with a nervous voice.

She didn't say anything, just shot them a look and went towards the living room. Sirius and James followed her and took their seats on the sofas opposite to y/n.

There was a long moment of silence between the three which was then broken by James when he met her questioning eyes.

"I am done hiding things from you y/n and not because you caught me red-handed but because it was weighing my conscience. Y/n, the truth is that yes, I first started dating you in order to make Lily jealous but as time went on, I realized you were the best alternative to Lily I could find." James paused, shame clear in his eyes.

Those words felt like daggers in her chest. These thoughts have occurred to her before, people have repeated those exact words to her but hearing them from James had made it all too real.

"But after our wedding I decided to leave Lily behind and give you a chance.............give us a chance. Believe it or not y/n/n, I did fall in love with you, it only took me a few weeks to realize it. The moment I saw you as an individual, a person on your own and not as a different version of Lily, I knew i would be hopelessly in love with you-"

"If that was the case why did you act so cold against me?" She cut James before he could stop speaking.

"Why would you only talk to me when needed, why won't you let me touch you when we'd be physical, why would you sleep in a different room on a different bed?" She questioned with sorrow and agony in her voice.

Any women would feel the same if she would hear her husband confessing his love for her when he had taken her sister's name in bed the night before. She felt cheated, deceived, robbed even. Had Lily not existed, this man who had the ability to love in such pure form would be all hers.

"That is because I wanted to come clean to you some day and then start afresh, until then I didn't want us to live like a normal couple because that would've been deceiving you."

"You have deceived me James! You've cheated on me with my bloody sister!" She exclaimed furiously.

"I agree I have but it wasn't the case until a few months ago, we've been sleeping together for only the past few months." James explained.

"Bulshit! Utter, pure bulshit!" She sneered at James.

"Everyone saw how you and her used to flirt at any given time you both were in the same room."

"Yes I agree but that was it, just flirting. I started sleeping with her only a few months ago. I'm telling the truth." James explained himself.

"When Lily showed up at my office and asked me to hook up with her, I refused at first but she persisted and I had a moment of weakness and I caved in." James confessed seemingly ashamed of his actions.

She didn't know how much longer she'd be able to keep her dinner inside her, she felt extremely nauseous and head spun as if she had just used a portkey.

"I wanted to end it Y/N, trust me, that's why I asked Lily to come meet me at bar. We had a ugly fight and I drank a little too much in frustration. I wanted to come clean to you, tell you everything and hopefully start everything from the beginning. But last night didn't go as planned." James elucidated the events of last night.

She felt her mouth drying up but gathered herself and asked the dreadful question.

"One last question, did you sleep with her last night before coming home?"

She questioned, her heartbeats hammering in her ears.

"No. I didn't, I took her name because she was the last person I saw before I got drunk and also that...... that I had developed a h-habit of taking her name."

James hesitantly whispered his answer.

She could feel the ball of pain growing in her throat, she knew the tears would start filling her eyes any second now, she wanted to run out of the mansion and never look back and just keep running until her feet don't work anymore.

"I know that forgiving me would seem like a mammoth task but I can't do anything but apologize to you. I am so sorry, I truly do love you Y/n. Give me a chance and I will prove that to you."

James apologized to her.

"I can't James........ I have to go away from you." She let out a hollow whisper.

"I am really sorry Y/n, I promise you I'll be a better husband, a better person. Please don't leave me." James begged her.

The rawness in his voice rendered her speechless. How cursed she was to fall in love with someone who hurt her so terribly. She wanted to advocate her stance but Sirius did it for her instead, much to her relief.

"James mate, I think you should give her some time, let her recollect herself. She needs space, she's not in the right headspace to make the correct the correct decision."

"But I-I......" James tried to counter Sirius's point but found himself unable to do so.

"Fine. Y/n, I'll give you the space you need, as long as you want." James stated with an earnest expression.

She was having a hard time keeping herself composed, she wanted to sob, cry, scream, collapse but all she did was nod her head.

"You can stay at my place for as long as you want." Sirius offered.

Had it been some other time, she would've protested and insisted upon finding her own place but she was too tired to open her mouth and form words so she agreed with a nod of her head.

She went upstairs to her bedroom where summoned a packed suitcase with her essentials in it with a flick of her wand and and went down towards the door where Sirius and James where talking whilst waiting for her.

"You ready?" Sirius asked.

"Hm." She replied with a hum.

She apperated to Sirius's house with a crack. The moment Sirius's living room came into her line of vision, she collapsed on her knees and started wailing with gut-wrenching sobs.

Sirius sat beside her and wrapped his arms around her to give her some kind of comfort. She cling to Sirius's arm and mourned her life.

As the days turned into weeks and then months, Y/N's heartache slowly began to heal. Living with Sirius provided her with the support she needed, but the wound was still fresh, and the memories lingered. She found solace in the routine, the quiet moments of reflection, and the occasional outbursts of tears that Sirius patiently endured.

It had been a month and the wounds had started to close if not healed. She tried to not think about the incident and the confrontation but James was deeply embedded in her life, her memories, her soul. She could often feel the sorrow in her magic as she cast normal household spells. She had insisted on moving out but Sirius had convinced her to stay with him for a few more months. He had also convinced her to get a job just to keep her busy.

She had never thought of having to work as she always imagined herself to be James's housewife, so it took her while to figure out a job that fit her intrests. She settled for a job as salesperson and receptionist at the a florist shop at downtown London, not far from Sirius's studio apartment.

It was March now. It had been 2 months since the incident. She was getting acquainted with her life now and she liked it. It was one of those evenings where she had returned tired from a busy Spring day at the shop when she heard the enchanted door ring the familiar magical ring it made when it detected magic at the threshold. Expecting it to be Sirius, she opened the door, only to be left with her jaws dropped at the floor.

It was Lily.

She was at loss of words. It felt like someone was stabbing her heart with a dagger. But there was something odd about Lily, something out of character.

She looked frail.Her face was pale, eyes red from crying, and she looked genuinely remorseful.

"Hi." Lily broke the silence.

"What do you want?" She couldn't help but frown at her audacity.

"I....I want to talk." Lily replied hesitantly.

"But I don't." She answered bluntly and almost close the door on her face.

"Y/n please! Please, just let me apologize and explain myself. I know what I have done is horrible but please just hear me out once. Then, if you want I'll never show you my face ever again." Lily begged like a little child.

She didn't want to hear her out or listen to some sloppy explanation like "I was not in my senses, or I didn't know what I was doing" but her love of her sister seemed to contradict her mind. It had always been her weakness. Her loved ones had always been her weakness and surely they were using it against her quite well.

She couldn't help herself so she sighed, though initially hesitant, finally agreed to let her sister in the living room.

They sat on the counch, facing each other.

"So, start explaining yourself." She broke the silence sternly.

She saw Lily taking a deep breath and she readied herself to not fall for her hollow explanation and playing the victim card, like all the cheaters.

"Y/N, I know I don't deserve your forgiveness," Lily began, her voice trembling.

"But I need you to know that I am truly sorry. I won't say that I didn't know what I was doing because I did. It was deliberate. I did this because I was jealous, because I couldn’t stand the thought of you having something that I used to have. It was selfish and wrong.

"When James asked me to meet him on your anniversary, I was mad at him. I thought everything was going good so why would he want to end it. I didn't understand that until I visited James until a few days after and I saw how miserable he was. He told me everything and also showed me the memories of consequences he faced the morning after in a pensieve." Lily took a long shuddering breath.

"I saw how miserable you were, how hurt you were. I don't know why, I thought you were not much attached to James but I could see the pain and love for him in your eyes and it haunted me. I could live with myself. I realised my fault and it took a while to gather the courage but here I am. I am sorry y/n/n. I-I don't know how I can redeem myself but I am ashamed of my acts. Lily apologized.

She listened, her expression unreadable. She felt a mixture of anger and sadness but also a tinge of understanding. Her apology somehow felt real, as if she really meant it. Maybe she did. Only time will tell.

"Lily, I appreciate your honesty. It’s going to take time, but I do forgive you. We’re family, and I don’t want to lose you. But things can’t go back to the way they were overnight."

Lily nodded, tears streaming down her face.

"I understand. Thank you for giving me a chance. And please, think about forgiving James too. He’s been a mess without you."

She sighed, looking down at her hands. She felt a pang in hee chest hearing his name.

"I need more time for that, Lily. I’m not ready yet." Her reply was a mere whisper.

" I understand. I'm sorry to have you put in this position. Know that I will a accept any punishment you intend to give me."

Lily assured her.

"No Lily, I don't want to punish you. Give me some time. Time will heal everything."

"I hope so." Lily crossed her fingers.

She just gave her a pained smile.

"Hope is a dangerous thing."

Six months had drifted by like petals on the wind, and she was gradually finding her way back to herself. With the money she had saved over the years, she purchased the quaint florist shop where she had once merely worked, transforming it into a blooming sanctuary of her own creation. Her days were now graced by the delicate fragrance of flowers and the quiet satisfaction of nurturing something beautiful. In her free moments, she reveled in the companionship of Remus and Sirius, who had found love in each other. Life was beginning to resemble a canvas painted with hues of peace and contentment, and for the first time in what felt like an eternity, she felt truly at home in her own skin.

Autumn had sneaked up in the country like a robber in the dark of midnight. Spring and Summer had gone in a haze but now was her time to relax. Autumn was an off season so the shop remained mostly empty. She asked her helper to take over the desk and went to the coffee shop across the street.

The crisp air was a welcome change, carrying with it the scent of fallen leaves and the promise of a quieter pace.

Entering the cozy café, she greeted the familiar barista with a warm smile and ordered her favorite seasonal brew. She chose a corner seat by the window, where she could watch the world outside transform into a tapestry of gold and crimson. As she sipped her coffee, she let her mind wander, appreciating the stillness of the moment. The café buzzed softly with the murmur of conversations and the clinking of cups, but she felt cocooned in her own peaceful bubble.

Glancing around, her eyes fell on a familiar figure at the far end of the room. James was there, looking more worn and haggard than she remembered. He hadn’t noticed her yet, absorbed in his thoughts. Her heart skipped a beat, torn between the hurt of the past and the faint stirrings of old affections. She took a deep breath, unsure if she was ready for this encounter, but also recognizing that perhaps this was the universe’s way of nudging her towards closure.

She watched James for a moment, her mind racing. Finally, she took a deep breath and approached his table.

"James," she said softly.

James looked up, startled. "Y/n?" He blinked, as if unsure whether she was real. "I didn't expect to see you here."

She nodded, feeling a mix of emotions. "I didn't expect to see you either. How have you been?"

James sighed, running a hand through his disheveled hair. "Not great, honestly. I've missed you."

She took a seat across from him, wrapping her hands around her coffee cup. "I've been... healing. It's been a tough journey, but I'm getting there."

"I can see that," he said, his eyes filled with regret. "I know I hurt you, and I don't expect you to forgive me, but I need you to know how sorry I am."

She nodded, the weight of his words sinking in. "I know, James. And I've been trying to move on. I even bought the florist shop where I used to work."

His face lit up for a moment. "That's wonderful. You've always loved flowers."

"Yes," she smiled faintly. "It's been a dream come true. And Remus and Sirius have been a great support. They're dating now, you know."

James chuckled softly. "I figured something was going on between them. I'm glad you have them."

She looked at him, searching for the right words. "James, I don't know what the future holds, but I think it's important we both find our own paths. Maybe one day, we can start anew, but for now, I need to focus on myself."

"I understand," he said, his voice heavy with sorrow. "I just hope that one day, you'll find it in your heart to give us another chance."

She reached across the table and squeezed his hand. "We'll see. For now, take care of yourself."

James nodded, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "You too, Y/n."

With that, she stood up and walked back to her table by the window, feeling a sense of closure wash over her. It wasn't a perfect ending, but it was a start. And in the quiet of the autumn afternoon, she found a small measure of peace.

As she settled back into her seat, she watched James leave the café, his shoulders hunched slightly as if carrying the weight of the world. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, feeling a strange mixture of sadness and relief.

Later that evening, she closed the shop, the bells on the door jingling softly as she locked up. The air was crisp, and the streets were illuminated by the soft glow of streetlights. She wrapped her scarf tighter around her neck and started walking towards Remus and Sirius's apartment.

When she arrived, Sirius opened the door with a broad grin. "Hey, there you are! We were just about to start a movie. Come on in."

Remus greeted her with a warm smile from the kitchen. "Hi, Y/n. Want some tea? We just made a fresh pot."

"Tea sounds perfect," she replied, hanging up her coat and joining them in the living room.

As the three of them settled in, with Remus handing her a steaming mug of tea, Sirius started the movie. She felt a sense of comfort in their presence, a reminder that she wasn't alone in her journey.

Halfway through the movie, she couldn't help but reflect on her encounter with James earlier. She shared her thoughts with Remus and Sirius, their supportive presence helping her process her feelings.

"You did the right thing," Remus said gently. "Healing takes time, and it's important to focus on yourself."

Sirius nodded in agreement. "And remember, we're here for you, no matter what."

She smiled, feeling grateful for their unwavering support. "Thank you, both of you. I don't know what I'd do without you."

As the movie continued, she leaned back, sipping her tea and letting the warmth of their friendship envelop her. The future was still uncertain, but for now, she felt content knowing she had the strength to face whatever came her way.

The next morning, she opened her shop with a renewed sense of purpose. The scent of fresh flowers filled the air, and she took a moment to appreciate the beauty around her. Each day was a step forward, a chance to rebuild her life and rediscover herself.

As the days turned into weeks, she found joy in the little things—arranging bouquets, chatting with customers, and spending time with Remus and Sirius. The wounds of the past were healing, slowly but surely, and she began to see the world in a new light.

One afternoon, while arranging a particularly beautiful bouquet of autumn flowers, she heard the door chime. She looked up and saw James standing there, holding a single red rose.

"Hi, Y/n," he said softly. "I was hoping we could talk."

She hesitated for a moment, then nodded. "Alright, let's talk."

They sat down at a small table near the window, the sunlight casting a warm glow over them. James took a deep breath, his eyes earnest and filled with sincerity.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking," he began. "I know I hurt you deeply, and I don't expect you to forget that. But I want to try and make things right. I want to show you that I can be the man you deserve."

She looked into his eyes, searching for the truth in his words. "James, it's not going to be easy. Trust needs to be rebuilt, and it will take time."

"I understand," he replied, his voice steady. "I'm willing to put in the effort, to prove to you that I've changed. But I also respect your need for space and time to heal."

She nodded, appreciating his honesty. "We'll take it one step at a time, James. I'm not making any promises, but I'm willing to see where this goes."

A small smile appeared on his face, hope flickering in his eyes. "Thank you, Y/n. That's all I can ask for."

As they continued to talk, she felt a glimmer of possibility. The path ahead was uncertain, but she was willing to take the first steps towards healing and perhaps, one day, finding a way back to each other.

With the changing seasons, she found strength in herself and in the support of those who cared for her. And as the leaves fell and the air grew colder, she knew that no matter what happened, she had the resilience to face whatever came her way.

It had been a week since James had visited her shop and they had been exchanging casual owls with each other over the week but James wanted to do something more. He planned something special.

James had spent the entire morning nervously rehearsing his plan. He knew he had to do something special, something that would make her smile and show her just how much he cared. He had roped in Sirius and Remus for help, and they had set the stage for what he hoped would be an unforgettable moment.

As she walked into the florist shop, she was greeted by an unusual sight. The usually tidy counter was now adorned with a massive bouquet of her favorite flowers, arranged in the shape of a heart. A small note was tucked into the center, and she picked it up, her curiosity piqued.

"Follow the petals," it read.

With a bemused smile, she noticed a trail of rose petals leading out the door. She followed them, stepping into the crisp autumn air. The petals led her across the street and into the park, where she saw James standing beneath a large oak tree, looking a little nervous but determined.

He was holding a sign that read, "Will you go out on a date with me?" in big, bold letters. But that wasn't all. As soon as she stepped closer, James flipped the sign to reveal the back, which was filled with smaller, hand-written notes, each one detailing a different reason why he wanted to take her out.

"Because you make me laugh."

"Because I love the way your eyes light up when you talk about flowers."

"Because I want to show you how much I care."

The list went on, and with each reason, her heart melted a little more.

James took a deep breath and stepped forward, holding out a single red rose. "Y/n, I know I've made mistakes, and I know I've hurt you. But I want to make it right. I want to spend time with you, show you how much you mean to me. Will you give me the honor of taking you out on a date?"

She looked at the rose, then at James, who was gazing at her with hopeful eyes. She couldn’t help but laugh at the sheer cheesiness of it all, but it was sweet, and it was sincere.

"Okay, James," she said, taking the rose from his hand. "I'd love to go out on a date with you."

James's face lit up with a smile so bright it could have rivaled the sun. He pulled out a small notepad from his pocket, where he had scribbled down his plans for the day.

"I have everything planned out," he said excitedly. "First, we'll have a picnic in the park. I made all your favorite foods. Then, we'll visit that little bookshop you love, and later, we can go to the cinema to watch that movie you've been wanting to see."

She couldn’t stop smiling. "You really went all out, didn’t you?"

"I wanted it to be perfect," James admitted. "You deserve nothing less."

She felt her heart swell with affection. "Then let's get started."

They spent the day together, enjoying each other's company and laughing more than they had in months. As the sun began to set, they found themselves back in the park, lying on a blanket and watching the stars appear in the twilight sky.

James turned to her, his expression soft and earnest. "Thank you for giving me this chance, Y/n. Today has been amazing."

"It really has," she agreed, squeezing his hand. "And thank you for going through all this trouble. It means a lot to me."

He smiled, leaning in to kiss her forehead. "Anything for you. Always."

And as they lay there under the stars, she realized that maybe, just maybe, they could find their way back to each other after all.

Months had stretched between them like a cold, unyielding winter, a time marked by the echoes of old promises shattered by James’s betrayal. The hurt had been a bitter wound, one that seemed to grow deeper with each passing day of their separation. Yet through that distance, James had worked tirelessly to mend what he had broken, proving himself not with grand gestures, but through the quiet, steadfast presence that had slowly healed her wounded heart.

Now, in Sirius’s apartment, the air was filled with the warmth of a love renewed. The space was softly illuminated by the gentle flicker of the TV, its light casting a golden hue on the room’s familiar contours. The movie played, a backdrop to their shared silence, a silence that spoke volumes of the journey they had traversed together.

James and her were on the same couch, their bodies close but not touching, as if each was testing the waters of trust and closeness once more. Their fingers brushed tentatively, a gesture that had once been routine but now carried the weight of their shared past and the promise of a hopeful future. James’s eyes were filled with a mixture of longing and apology, his heart laid bare before her.

After months of earnest efforts and heartfelt confessions, James had shown her that he had grown, that he understood the gravity of his mistakes and the depth of her worth. The painful past was not forgotten, but it was acknowledged with a sincerity that spoke of a genuine desire for redemption. Their renewed love was not the same as it had been, but it was stronger, tempered by the trials they had endured.

As the evening wore on, their conversation drifted from the past to the present, from the shadows of their former selves to the light of the lives they were now building together. Slowly, they leaned into each other, their shoulders touching, their hands finding their way back to one another. The comfort of their closeness was a balm to old wounds, a sign that they were moving forward, not just revisiting old ground.

James took a deep breath, his heart pounding as he gathered the courage to ask the question he had held close for so long. He reached for her hand, his fingers interlacing with hers as if to anchor himself in the moment. “Y/n,” he said, his voice steady but laced with the emotion of their shared journey, “we’ve been through so much. I know I hurt you, and I’ve spent these months showing you that I’m not the person I was before. I know that words alone can’t erase the past, but I hope that my actions have shown you how deeply I love you and how much you mean to me.”

He looked into her eyes, his own filled with both hope and vulnerability. “Will you marry me, again?”

Her gaze met his, and in that shared look was a mixture of joy and remembrance, of forgiveness and a future envisioned. A gentle smile touched her lips, her voice steady as she answered, “Yes, James. I will marry you, again.”

In that tender moment, as they embraced on the couch, the weight of their past and the promise of their future seemed to blend into a perfect harmony. They lay there together, a symbol of love’s resilience and a testament to the power of second chances. The shadows of the past faded into the gentle glow of their renewed commitment, and they knew that this time, their love was not just a fleeting dream but a promise of forever.

It was January again, a full year since “the incident,” and the cold of the season seemed to only enhance the warmth of their love. A great deal had changed since then. She was no longer the same woman who had faced betrayal with a broken heart. She was stronger, her soul healed and brighter, her relationships deepened and more meaningful. She was closer to herself, to James, and to the people who had stood by her through the darkest days.

On this January evening, as snow gently blanketed the world outside, she prepared for their third anniversary—a day that now held the promise of a future unfettered by doubt. The anticipation of this celebration was a stark contrast to the uncertainty that had shrouded her thoughts three years ago. The room was filled with a soft light, and the air was rich with the fragrance of blooming winter flowers.

Lily stood by her side as her maid of honor, their past differences having long been reconciled. Sirius, as James’s best man, stood nearby, a proud smile on his face as he shared in the joy of the occasion. This time, Remus was present, a beloved friend who had also been the one to walk she down the aisle. His gentle presence was a comforting reminder of the bonds that had been mended and the love that had endured.

The ceremony was a fairytale in every sense. The venue was adorned with delicate white flowers and twinkling fairy lights that cast a magical glow over the gathered guests. The vows they exchanged were heartfelt and tender, capturing the depth of their renewed commitment.

James began, his voice steady yet choked with emotion. "She, from the moment I met you, I knew my life was forever changed. Through my mistakes and our hardships, you have shown me the meaning of true love and forgiveness. Today, I vow to cherish you, to stand by you through all of life’s trials and triumphs, and to love you with a heart that is wholly yours.”

She took a deep breath, her eyes glistening as she looked at James. “James, you have been my greatest joy and my deepest challenge. Through our journey, you have proven that love can heal and grow stronger with time. I vow to support you, to honor you, and to love you fiercely, just as you have loved me. Together, let us build a life filled with grace, patience, and boundless affection.”

As they were pronounced husband and wife, the kiss they shared was a symbol of the love that had been rekindled, pure and unblemished by past shadows. Their kiss was a promise of the future they would share, a silent testament to a year of growth and renewal.

The reception that followed was filled with laughter and joy. She and James shared their first dance as a married couple, the music enveloping them in a cocoon of happiness. As they swayed to the melody, the world seemed to pause around them, the love they shared evident in every tender touch and gaze.

Later in the evening, amidst the joyful chaos of the party, Lily approached Y/n with a sincere smile. “I’m so happy for you, Y/n,” she said, her eyes filled with both regret and hope. “I hope you stay happy like this forever.”

Y/n’s smile was gentle, her eyes reflecting the hope she had carried through the years. “Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman with my past,” she replied softly. “But I have it.”

In that moment, as she looked at Lily and felt the embrace of the love surrounding her, Y/n knew that hope was not just a fleeting wish but a steadfast companion on the path they walked together. The evening continued in a swirl of joy and celebration, a testament to the enduring power of love and the promise of a future built on a foundation of trust and hope.

And as the night wore on, with the echoes of laughter and the gentle strains of music weaving through the air, James and Y/n danced beneath the stars, their hearts aligned in a shared dream of forever.

Losing herself in her husband's embrace, she finally found her peace. The warm realisation dawned over her that she won't all alone. She will actually have her husband by her side.

[nervouslaughter05]

Chapter 6: Shots Fired

A/N: HELLOOOOOOOO I have settled into my new workplace (mostly) and am happy to say I'm getting married in a little over a week! With some newfound free time I'm finding myself to have, I have rediscovered my life of writing! I'm very happy to present the next chapter. I did my best to proofread it, but I'm sure there's still weird language/grammar in it. As always, please heed the content warnings and enjoy! CW: Canon-typical violence, language, mentions of killing

Come yell at me on Twitter @vegas719 and my art insta @timetoart05

Grizzly was second to last in the group, Gaz behind her. Price was up front, leading the team through the woods to the assigned pickup point. While she had been asleep, they’d managed to radio back into base and get in contact with the remainder of the team there. The man who’d given them their brief, some high ranking officer her sleep-deprived brain couldn’t remember, had been absolutely livid when they made contact and reported the death of the other team. She suspected it was less anger and more grief, as it would have been for Price had he found out that the lot of them had died on a mission. 

Once again, she’s reminded of just how fragile her very existence was, seemingly held above a floor covered in bubbling lava and sharp rocks by a thin string threatening to snap at any moment.

The woods around them were filled with life, birds chirping happily away and insects buzzing somewhere off to her right. Very likely given the lay of the land there was a small stream somewhere, tucked away. She would’ve loved to explore the area if they were there under different circumstances. However, they were all trudging through the undergrowth holding various forms of weaponry on the lookout for an organization bent on killing them.

So yeah, Grizzly was probably gonna pass on the casual stroll through the grass for today.

The med bag on her back was cumbersome, the bottom of it smacking against her tailbone with each step instead of fitting nicely into her lower back like the one back home did. Unfortunately, there was only so much gear she could bring with her, and the custom fitted pack her marines had gifted to her wasn’t part of the list. She’d taken some pain killers a couple hours ago, but they weren’t strong enough to fully rid her of the pain from her wounds. She was saving that for the rest of the team in case shit hit the fan again. 

“So you and Lt were fending alone in the safehouse while we were gone eh?” Soap asks from in front of her. “Can’t imagine being alone with him for that long. Drove me mad in Las Alamas, and half of that was with him just in my ears.”

She snorts, remembering that entire situation. Granted, she’d been unconscious for the first hour or so from the blow to her head–which when she thought about it needed a concussion exam that she never received–but had still been awake for a good majority of what had happened. Graves had betrayed them and in the fight that ensued, a shadow had decided to whack the back of her head with the butt of his rifle and try to take her hostage like they did Alejandro. Ghost had carried her out of the line of fire while Soap had fled injured. She tries not to think about that night too often.

“Put aside the bad dad jokes and he’s really not that bad to be around,” Grizzly replies, adjusting the straps of her bag on her shoulders for the hundredth time while they had been walking.

“Lunatics the both of ya,” he says and she just chuckles.

Gaz pipes up from behind her, asking, “What did the two of you get up to while the rest of us were making our way to you?”

Grizzly shrugs, acting very nonchalant about the entire thing. She was definitely going to leave out how she’d almost died out there if it hadn’t been for the lieutenant’s help–at least until they got to the evac. Knowing that taking too long to answer would make them suspect something, she just tells them a quick version of what happened. She also was going to leave out the exchange she’d had with Ghost following her inability to sleep.

“Ghost and I had a mild run-in on the way to the safehouse, but other than that it was just us standing watch and waiting for all of you to show up.”

Soap turns his head to look back at her, likely to ask about the “mild run-in” they’d had. There’s a sudden commotion off to their left and all of them are instantly leveling their weapons at the source of the noise. She sees Ghost and Price swap looks out of the corner of her eye and she braces for the next move.

A racoon–the same fat and lazy one from earlier–literally <i>rolls</i> his fat little–

‘Well maybe not so little.’ 

-Ass from a clump of shrubbery. 

“Right,” Price says after a moment. “Carry on lads. It’s just a-fuck!”

A bullet whizzed past his head, lodging into the tree behind him. 

“Get down!”

Grizzly had dropped the second a bullet had fired, low crawling to a spot of cover. Soap and Gaz both join her after a few seconds, and then Ghost and Price after them. 

Ghost was already set to go, his rifle set up in its proper position with Soap doing the same. She was mentally cataloging the medical supplies left in her bag. Grizzly knew her current stash was lower than what she needed, purely because this mission was only supposed to be a day at most and had turned into almost three at this point. While she would normally pack extras given the lessons learned in her days as a marine doc, that didn’t mean it was enough for the potential injuries from a conflict like this. 

There’s no further shots fired, the woods around them deathly still. The birds had stopped chirping–how long had they been quiet?–and upon quick inspection of their surroundings the racoon had made it to safety. Funny how she felt relief over a random animal not being shot. 

“Steamin’ Jesus,” Soap mutters under his breath. “Damn bastards just can’t die.”

Grizzly grimaces. “American’s are a bit like cockroaches–even if you cut off our heads we still keep squirming for a while.”

“Wouldn’t a chicken that’s lost its head be more accurate, eh?” he counters.

“Now is not the time,” Ghost barks at them, and Gaz snickers. “Eyes sharp.”

It’s a moment before anything happens, but there’s a spattering of gunfire that sounds off above their heads. Grizzly recognizes the use of assault rifles from the sound. All of them stay hunkered down behind their cover, which was a fallen log and some rock clusters.

“Your teams have made some <i>big</i> trouble for me,” a voice informs them, deep with a slight southern tinge to it. “I’ve been operating for years with no trouble and all of the sudden some big bad english men dressed in fancy military uniforms wanna put an end to it? I don’t think so, buddy. Bless your bleeding hearts for wanting to help the greater cause, but y’all need to get the fuck out of my business before I make things difficult.”

‘What the fuck?’ she mouths to Soap as the man speaks.

“What? Are y’all deaf now too? My boys blow out your eardrums? Answer me,” the man demands, and she’s reminded faintly of the stereotypical abusive father you’d see in movies. Oops.

“It’s nothin’ personal lads,” Price calls out from behind their shelter and she almost laughs at how ridiculous this whole situation was. “Just conducting our own business. Same as you. Gotta make a paycheck somehow.”

The man chuckles. “Damn right. However, I don’t work for the government, Captain John Price.”

She goes stiff. This fucker knew who Price was? How the actual fuck-

“Yes, I know who you  are, Captain,” he tells them, sounding like a mother consoling a distraught child. “Just like you Captain, I’m a businessman. And like any good businessman I always look at any roadblocks I may face.”

“Bloody fuckin’ hell,” Soap curses under his breath. “How the fuck did this bastard find out who Price is?”

“And it’s not just you, Captain. I know you have Lieutenant Simon Riley, Sergeants Kyle ‘Gaz’ Garrick and John ‘Soap’ Mactavish, and your wonderful medic– Petty Officer First Class Katelyn Ard. Am I missing anyone?” he continues, seeming all too pleased with himself.

His voice reminded her of the Lofthouse cookies back in the states with that frosting so sweet that it would make your stomach churn.

“You seem to be an educated man,” Price says. “And a reasonable one. Could we chat about this?”

“I’m afraid y’all lost the right to a casual ‘chat’ about this with me when you entered my facility and killed my men. So, please understand that what I do is nothing personal,” the man replies, and she hears several pairs of footsteps approaching them. “It’s just business.”

Men come around the sides of their cover, leveling the barrels of their weapons at them. Gaz reacts instantly, putting a bullet through the skull of the guy closest to them while Ghost and Price are doing the same. Soap, herself, and Price all pop up over the cover they’re behind, firing at the man and the men he’d brought with him. 

He was tall and broad, face covered in the shadow from his felt cowboy hat. He was well-dressed too, a show of his wealth from the various trafficking operations he ran. She doesn’t have a chance to process what he looks like much more before she’s firing off bullets in his direction along with that of his companions. Another man drops from where he’d taken cover behind a tree, blood pooling from the hole in his forehead. Grizzly drops down, reloading a fresh magazine in before popping back up. 

“Pull back!” the boss calls out over the sound of gunfire. “I’m not gonna lose more men to these fuckin’ Brits!”

The men began to retreat, firing off shots behind them so they couldn’t pursue too closely if at all. 

“Hold your fire,” Price orders, voice sharp. “We need to get the hell out of here and reapproach this later.”

“Price we cannae let this chance get away from us!” Soap protests. 

Gaz chimes in. “We don’t know when we’ll be able to come back-if at all.”

The captain shushes them, not wanting to hear any form of argument. Soap and Gaz deflate, the former of the two pouting over it. They stay on the defensive for a while–Grizzly doesn’t keep track exactly how long–before Price gives them the okay to get up and start moving again. This time, they move with a different speed than they had before, wanting to get out of these woods and back to base to avoid another confrontation like what they’d just had. Ammo was valuable and medical supplies as well, both of which they were burning through like it like a fire on dry grass. 

Price radioed back into the unit receiving them from the base, giving very light details about what had happened and confirming pickup.

It’s another 30 minutes or so before they get to the evac point, now just waiting for the humvees to roll up and take them back to base. The vehicles appear very soon after their arrival, one full of an additional support team should the need arise and the other empty for them to load up into. Grizzly gets in last, looking through her med bag as they start rolling back to base. The entire time she’s going through her bag, she’s thinking of that soldier she’d tried to save. Soap had told her that in the firefight that had split all of them up, he’d been shot again several times. One of the bullet wounds had cut open his carotid artery and the Scot had been able to do nothing except hold the dying man and try to give him some peace in his last moments. 

The knowledge destroyed her inside, but the pain from the loss got locked up into that box inside of her mind for the deaths of the men she served with. There were many lives inside there. Grizzly refused to let them out however–that would require a therapist, straight tequila, or a heartfelt conversation with her coworkers she knew would never happen.

00000

The team had all come back to base and gotten through the mission debrief, being sent off to medical for their injuries. The medical staff there had been surprised at Grizzly’s work. They’d complimented her on the stitches she’d placed, something she’d gotten experience in from her time out in the field. She just accepted the compliments without much thought and remained silent for most of their care to her. She really only spoke up when necessary to point out areas that were in pain or her own observations to the injured parts of her body.

After being discharged, Grizzly makes her way back to the main bay, flopping into her rack with a huff. Ghost was already back, having been discharged before them from the lack of sustained injuries. Price had to go off and handle business with the man who’d conducted their brief and also Laswell to reevaluate their steps going forward. Soap and Gaz went to grab some food from the mess hall, so they’d probably be gone for a while. 

All she wanted to do was sleep, not even that hungry despite a lack of food for the last almost 48 hours. 

“You should eat.”

‘‘’M tired,’’ she replies, voice muffled from how her face is pressed into her pillow. “Don’t feel like getting up.”

Ghost scoffs softly and she hears some light rustling before something is placed next to her head. Grizzly lifts up her head and sees a small styrofoam container that was hot to the touch. She raises an eyebrow looking at the lieutenant. 

“What’s this?” she asks as she sits up and sits cross legged with her back on the wall her rack was pushed against.

“Food,” he replies, like that wasn’t obvious. “Figured you wouldn’t want to grab anythin’, so I stopped by on my way back.”

Something weird and fluttery unfurls in her gut, but she shoves it down. “Thank you.”

He simply gives a gruff “Don’ mention it” and settles into his own rack–the one coincidentally next to hers on his back. His back is against the rails at the head of the mattress, most of his gear discarded next to his bunk much like she was about to do. The only thing left on him was the skull mask, his cargos and boots, and a black long sleeve. The fabric was stretched across his chest and torso, showing just how big he was even without all of his bulky gear. 

Grizzly goes through the process of removing all of her own gear, tac vest thumping on the ground and her weapons into the locker beneath her bed provided to each member of her team. Her boots are the last to come off, laying off to the side neatly as she leans back against the wall and opens the container. Her mouth waters, the smell of veggies and meat filling her nose. 

Fuck she missed having actually good food from the mess. 

Digging in, Grizzly mulls over the results of their mission in her head. She replays everything over in her head in an attempt to try and make sense of the shitshow they’d been thrown into on this mission. That man had known who they all were somehow, and she wanted to know how and, most importantly, why. She knew that there were people out there that would want to harm them purely for their affiliation with the military, but none had ever gone so far as to get their names. Frankly, no one was able to access that information either with how many passwords it would take to find their files. 

That in turn begs the question of who gave them that access.

“Get ready to head back to the states,” Ghost tells her, voice cutting through her thoughts. “We’re not likely to stay. Not after what happened out there.”

She almost chokes on her next bite of food, swallowing and looking up at her lieutenant suddenly. “What?”

“We’re wasting time and resources being here. It’s a bigger risk for us to stay than it is to go at this point.”

Grizzly finishes her last mouthful. “Those bastards know who we are, Ghost. Anyone we may know is at risk. Our families are at risk.”

“If he had wanted your families dead, then he would’ve already handled the problem.”

“Not necessarily,” she counters, suddenly feeling anxious. “He could be waiting for us to come back to the states or try to contact our families in some way. For all we know our families could have been already getting monitored without our knowledge of it.”

“Your families are fine,” Ghost tells her, and her worry-ridden mind barely processes his tone of voice before she’s carrying on. 

“But-”

“Your families are fine,” Ghost repeats, voice much firmer this time.

It was at that moment she remembers that the man never talks about his family…ever and worries that she may have struck a nerve. So, in place of trying to dig for what had made his voice so hard, she simply nods her head and falls silent. It was much easier than trying to unwrap the mystery that was Ghost. 

It’s silent for a while, and Grizzly worries she may have upset her lieutenant. 

“Get some rest,” he tells her right as she begins to worry he was plotting her murder. “I’ll wake ya if anything happens.”

“Aye aye, sir.”

The exhaustion weighing down her bones makes itself known again, and she doesn’t fight his suggestion. Instead, she slips under the thin sheet and scratchy blanket issued upon her arrival here. Her body relaxes damn near instantly, melting into the mattress. Grizzly settles with her back to the wall so she could roll out of her rack faster should there be a need for such. 

With her eyelids being pulled down by fatigue, she fights off unconsciousness long enough to murmur, “Try to get some sleep too, Ghost.”

Not expecting a response, she lets herself drift off.

A/N: Me talking about the slow burn: "I've connected the dots" My friend: "You haven't connected shit" Me: "I've connected them"

[doonarose]

Hello fam,

Here's some TMI that I've spent the entire day spiraling over on the reddit chat but may as well therapize myself here too. Wait is therapize a real word... I did not know that.

Anyway - teaching week from absolute hell. Hours and hours and hours of on my feet labs and workshops. And then getting myself in a position where I had to mark prac write ups - 88 of them - in about 48 hours. Reckon it took me about 16 hours and it's mind numbing exasperating work because this is their first one - a quarter of them failed, some of them wrote the most incoherent bullshit...

That means my brain has been frazzled and fried since sometime Tuesday and by some oversight I neglected to put in my calendar that my parents were dropping their dog off at my house today to mind for a week. Probably because it's no big deal and not something I really need in my calendar.

Except I completely forgot. 100% out of my brain, gone, no idea it was happening until I got a text at 10.30 saying the dog had been dropped off and they were on their way to their airbnb where they've got a few nights away or whatever.

Now, worth noting, they did need to go into the house to drop the dog off, because this is the dog that, famously, escaped this same house a bit over a year ago, got smacked by a truck, was 50/50 on surviving for a long while, and cost them $6k to fix... so yeah, of course let yourselves in, dump the dog and lock the doggy door.

So a few things to know:

I live in a messy house at the best of times. Dishes in the sink, last night's plates still on the table, a bag of used tissues next to me on the couch, socks on the floor, etc. Like it's not gross rotting food or anything, but it's not the standard I like to show my parents (or anyone else). So that's a bit embarrassing.

Last night, because I pulled a 12 hour day of admin and prac marking, I fell into the too-often-fallen-into habit of having a decent slosh of vodka over ice with soda as soon as I got home at 8pm to turn my brain off so I could sleep before midnight. I left the half empty bottle of vodka on the table in the living room.

Also when I got home last night I took my bra off in the living room and left it draped across a chair.

Also, in a particularly lazy moment, I had left the eski full of water from almost two weeks ago sitting in the same spot in my kitchen which, yeah, okay, gross of me, but I intended to clean it up before anyone fucking saw it.

And you're probably reading this and thinking that it really isn't that bad so here's the real main source of mortification. Because I live alone and because no one would ever just drop in and because I've been busy and lazy and whatever. I also left my bright magenta sex toy besides the bathroom sink this morning. Where it had been since the morning before. Because that's a fine, logical place to leave it. And when I got the text I immediately remembered that because I saw it this morning when I was getting ready to go into work at 7.30 for an 8am zoom to the US, and kind of vaguely thought 'I should put that away' and then didn't. And didn't close the door to the bathroom because i only do that on hot days and it's been mild, finally, the last few days. And then when I got that text I tried to convince myself that my parents would have no reason to go into my bathroom, even though they would have obviously gone in the house and seen the above bad shit. And then I tried to convince myself that even if they had seen it, we would never speak of it and I would never know.

Anyway, I got home a half hour ago and my toilet door is fully closed, it's next to the bathroom door that remained fully open, magenta fucking rabbit in full view. I never, ever fully close the toilet door because it jams.

So anyway... may never wank again. Will, at some point, report on how I handle my face and soul next time I have to speak/see my parents.

If I die tonight, my COD will be mortification.

[forestshadow-wolf]

[Long Post] the rewritten zombie au post (part 1)

Tav Journal - Alpha

Sanity log 1:

Something happened a few days ago, we're not sure what to call it yet. People have gone mad, it's a miracle that all four of us made it off base alive. To be honest I'm not even really sure what went down. That's why im even starting this, so I can keep it all in order. I think I'd much prefer a verbal log, but with the way things have gone I think this is more logical since devices have limited storage and usually aren't water friendly. And in any case wilderness survival training in boot taught how to make string from plants, and I went down a rabit hole af few years back on how to make books from scratch, so I know how to do that. The only problem would be finding things to write with, but there's probably an easy solution.

I've never done this before, I'm not really sure where to start, but I guess the beginning would be good.

The beginning felt like ages ago to me, so I'm a bit hazy on the details. Ghost says we were in his room watching a movie (note: it might be good to start getting the others side of things too, not sure for what, but maybe it'll be useful later). And then I think we heard lots of noise, screaming maybe, or just a stampede perhaps, I know I definitely heard a gunshot. We opened the door to see what the hell was going on and ,honest to god, the halls were packed fulled than I've ever seen them, with a moving hoarde.

After that it gets much clearer. Kinda. Ghost pulled out a go bag from, I don't even know, and the knife he keeps under his bed. It was like he was prepared for something like this, he was so fast (though I suppose if you go through as much shit as he has then you learn to stay prepared, I guess). He pushed me us out the window, and then we were running into the woods. Well ghost was running to the woods, I was following ghost.

He shoved us down under the shrubbery and the just laid there for, I don't even know how long, but it must've been a quarter of the day easily. He started peaking his head up when the sun hit the tree line, at this point we still have no idea what's up with gaz and/or price. I think ghost had us wait another hour or two, until it really got dark, before we actually got up. And then we're apparently heading to the armory, remember, I'm still just following ghost at this point.

Ghost hands me one of the tac bags and tells me to load it with whatever ammo I could grab. The bags are meant to hold guns, so there's a lot of space to fill up. Honestly I hardly even looked at it all, I just started tossing stuff in. Ghost was filling up his own bag of whatever gun was compatible with the rounds I was grabbing. (Side note: the base is only allowed to keep a certain amount in the armory at a time, so I grabbed it all). He also, apparently, grabbed 2 sets of the combat knives, which he would hand later to me once we got off the base.

After that we went to the cafe, loaded up on food. I wonder if ghost knew what was actually happening or if he was working off of instinct? We got off base after that, Wandered until night fall. Wandered most of the next day as well. Ran into price and gaz as the sun was setting.

There's more to add. A lot more. Important details I skipped to get the main points down. But we're moving on early tomorrow morning, I took watch last night, so I need sleep tonight.

"Hit the hay, Johnny, we're moving gone as soon as the sun's up"

"Aye, right on it, LT. Don't get too borded without me." He gave the man a mock salute, to which he got an unimpressed look. He settled with his head on his arm and let his eyes fall shut.

If soap woke up in the morning a little earlier that price and gaz so he could cuddle with ghost... well that's neither here nor there.

"I think we're crossing the city today, so... you know... expect trouble." Ghost says quietly.

"Cans 'n' gum? Or something else?"

"Maybe pick up a bag or two. Gotta be extra careful though, I think price said he saw squatters when he was out scouting with with gaz yesterday."

"Zombies ghost. Brain eating zombies, like the dumb movies." Soap giggles.

"Fine. Zombies." Ghost humors him with an exasperated sigh at soap's antics.