#also i dont want to grow up | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cherry-redrum · 4 months ago

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i just got my liscense which is great but also driving alone is really scary.

as long as ive been driving ive had pretty bad thoughts about crashing the car or just flooring it and seeing what happens. theyd scare me sometimes but for the most part my dad sitting in the passenger seat helped bc i was able to focus just on his instructions and ignore myself. but now that im driving alone i could just drive off a cliff & no one would know for hours. + when i get stressed or scared theres no one to ground me, i just spiral being the wheel which is not great lol

im scared to talk to anyone irl tho bc neither of my two bestfriends are anywhere near having their liscence so theyre trusting me to drive them around which im happy about! but i cant tell them because i dont want them to be scared getting in the car with me

#drove alone today & got honked at #it was only partially my fault but i wanted to bash my head into the wheel & have them hit me so i could just #die on impact or somethng #also i dont want to grow up #it scares me that im starting to have more responsibilities & im still fucked up in the head #im ruining the best part of my life with this shit

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cracklewink · 8 months ago

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Harmony Syndrome Part 5/5

The last chapter of my mlp infection AU! Thank you to everyone who followed along. Some final thoughts on my twitter @cracklewink if anyone's interested : )

#mlp #my little pony #mlp infection au #mlp infection #twilight sparkle #Sorry for leaving the ending open ended but I genuinely couldnt decide on just one way for things to turn out and I liked the idea of #leaving it open the most #in my mind sunset's final message is like we found a recording from the later days of the infection and we dont know what happened in the #end because the recordings stopped/ended #In any case I think they were able to put twilight and the others to rest #but who knows who survived the “final battle” and who didnt #also yes Twilight created harmony syndrome but not on purpose lol #it was the result of her botched attempt to create a spell that makes ponies immortal #obviously it backfired lol #and the irony is that twilight ends up dying before any of her friends #if they didnt want me writing my little pony horse tragedy they shouldnt have left mlpfim off on the note that all of twilight's friends #were growing old without her #ending thats been haunting me for five years #if anyones seeing this this is an open au btw so feel free to adopt any of the ideas if you like! : )#tw thanatophobia #thanatophobia

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lunarcrown · 3 months ago

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OLLD drawing I can share now of Timmy after recovery and care from staying on double life and being looked after by the box boys~

He’s healthier, happier, his hair and wings have grown back out and have a pretty blue-black sheen to them (that he never knew he had bc in hels his diet and environment only let them be dull) and he just heard the sound of a portal opening for someone to come visit~!

#I’m still gonna draw scraggly Timmy most of the time bc this version is only after a LONG long road of peace and health on double life #BUT LOOK AT HIM!!!!#my fave bit is that he still gets to have his long hair like he likes but he’s confident enough #to push it out of his face with ren’s glasses when he wants #the glasses also let him flip them down and protect his eyes which he needed a LOT when starting out #the sun is so warm and pretty but his eyes have known mostly darkness of his cave in hels so he needs some light reduction here and there #anyways I’m so happy to share this I will always love and explore pathetic creature Timmy and DONT GET ME TWISTED—he’s still very pathetic #even when healthy but he’s learned and growed and gets to put meat on him bones #gets a bit more of that Jimmy broadness in his shoulders and stands up a bit straighter so ppl realize even more that he kinda tall!!!#ok enough yammering BAM HITS U WITH THE TIMMY SMILE RAY HAVE A GOOD DAY #hels to pay au #htp art #Timmy #htp spoilers

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atoriv-art · 1 month ago

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older designs for my specialest guy

#you actually could pay me to watch boruto the payment is reviving any of madara-obito-itachi in a cheap fan service moment. itd work on me 👍#neji hyuga #hyuga neji #art #fanart #naruto #2024 #i think konoha would love to project the will of fire shit onto neji after what he did. ya know. trying to give your life 'for the village'#in that way hed probs have a lot of respect from others but respect has never been enough when your life still isnt yours 😛#the pessimism would likely take a bit to return to him but it Would return hes just like. less interpersonally volatile #the realization you had two whole very public meltdowns and no one that matters cared will do that to you #anywayfor the happy ending one. i think while neji is always going to be a little bit bitchy hes bound to soften up a lot when he's not #under constant stress and has to micromanage his every thought #i like to think that if he were allowed to hed grow into a very outwardly warm person. sunflower :)#and my general opinions of neji and boruto are:#1. yes it is a blessing to not be made to be straight married #2. however consider: what if i wanted to see neji be a dad. i dont care for romantic njten but i do not hate it. it would be acceptable #when i think abt this guy in boruto hes chronically single but still.talking about what CANON could be. it would be acceptable #3. yes hiashi shouldve gotten his ass killed in the war but i would be lying if i said the awful family reunions #are not fun as a concept #are they fun on purpose? no #but the rule is: A situation can suck if it sucks on purpose #and 4. i know about the time travel episode i have mixed feelings on it.#anyway no hate if you like boruto i like being hyperbolic for fun but its just anime. the kids seem cute #but if any other hyuga-brained person ever wants to get unimaginably angry you should also watch the hiashi birthday episode of boruto #thats my special recommendation from me to you

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ruporas · 2 years ago

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soft (and some bittersweet)

#trigun stampede #trigun #vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #i think they both spent majority of their lives in solitude and ofc vash went town to town and made friendships promises and etc along the w #way + he had his home and whatnot in the long years he's been alive but he still just seemed so lonely.#in prior versions of trimax he had friends at home at least and maybe he mightv made some but luida and brad are basically just his #guardians in this adaption. like brad used to be a homie.... vash watched that little dude grow up.... and jessica too.... but he doesn't #have that in this adaption. nor a town like july where he had grown close to the townspeople and shaped that tragedy to be closer to his #heart. and wolfwood spent years fighting under the eom and doing shit under their jurisdiction when we saw him so adamantly try to reject #and fight back against that fate. i dont think he had a second at all to get familiar with townspeople or even care to #so its just these two lonely ass souls and vash immediately seeing the good in ww and points it out #ww who is under orders again to be involved in vash's business but he's also SO touchy about it bc vash is so careless and lack that self #regard and also just is not seeing the world that ww is seeing. but then vash helps him and saves him by sharing a piece of what /he/ sees #and it fucking. rescrambled ww's brain for a sec. HE GAVE HIM HOPE!!! he gave him hope!!!! and in turn ww gave vash hope too and its #all done in like 3-4 eps. there's so much fervent attachment in what they managed to give each other in such a short time #but theyre limited to the contract to the inevitable confrontation with knives - so while theyd want to give into that chance to love this #person who managed to give them smth special they just can't at all #ruporas art

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skunkes · 8 months ago

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#a doodley #i cant draw his hair shine anymore without thinking abt the ask saying it was so Rooster #so trueeeee my rooster boyyy *sobbing*#also always torn bc i like drawing haggard talon with big ears but i think fed talon wld have bigger ones ykwim #like when kittens have huge ears to grow into #also while im rambling here i wanna restructure his whole history again #vampirism being the result of a curse and negatively affecting him in a way he'll have to carry for the rest of his long immortal life #as well as forgoing feeding to Age and him physically feeling the ails of aging isn't enough...#im trying to conjure up smthng else that wldve happened to him in one of the worst times in his life but thats hard bc i cant explore it to #much bc the subject matter makes me sad LOL and also dont want to seem like those ppl who throw in stuff like that gratuitously

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amygdalae · 2 months ago

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Are you on testosterone? Or just chest dysphoria?

im not on T (ive thought abt going on low doses but idk if i need the expenditure) but yea i get real bad chest dysphoria

#its not something i talk abt on here a ton cuz i try not to vent post too frequently and i dont feel as though its anyones business #itd be nice if my voice was deeper #i also wish i could grow sideburns but for me personally its not really worth injecting hormones just for those things #top surgery is a must though. eventually. when things align #the thought of someone touching my chest like it is now makes me want to throw up

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starry-bi-sky · 1 month ago

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'Late At Night, When The Nightingale Sings' doodles, because Pathetic Wet Cat Danny is the best Danny to practice drawing young faces with (and expressions).

#danny fenton is not the ghost king #dpxdc #dpxdc crossover #dpxdc fanart #dpxdc art #dpxdc batdad #dpxdc fanfic #blood blossom au #my art #in that third one the intent was that he's being held up by bruce like a cat. hence the hands. but i didnt wanna draw hands again so thats #why they disappeared. coincidentally the third one is also one of my favorites bc of how the everything came out.#danny can't force a convincing smile to save his life <33 especially now after 4 months of isolation #also!! duos practice! i wanted to draw danny with bruce because they are. everything to me. danny is wearing one of bruce's hoodies in that #second one. they are soft and comfy. he has frequent nightmares since his accident that only got worse after his family died #so he doesn't sleep that well unless he's around other people.#i need to buy an anatomy book and like. soon. i neeEEEd to figure out arms and legs when they're not in standard posing.#im coasting on reference photos and a dream here.#that second to last one is a(n attempted) drawing of Danny at the end of the prequel oneshot 'before the nightingale sings' that explains #how his family died. it was january. he was 13 and a month shy of turning 14. his hair is somewhat shaggy bc its a 4 month time difference #between family death and meeting battinson and hair doesn't typically grow that fast unless some kind of serum is being used and yall know #🫵 ballad of lucy gray baird mention!!! thats a blood blossom behind danny in that drawing. its eye is staring at danny. altho it too big #that one is another favorite but its docked points bc i dont like how his head shape turned out. his expression turned out great tho

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spacedlexi · 4 months ago

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maybe if i just put these screenshots together youll understand why i think their relationship just Works so well as it pertains to the characters and themes of S4 in general

neither of them know what theyre doing, but theyre figuring it out Together. the old ways are dead. and together theyll build a new future thats worth fighting for

#twdg #violentine #clems “i dont know” paired with violets “lets figure it out together”. screaming crying throwing up #clem never knew what she was doing!! she was just trying her best!! and now shes tired as SHIT!!! she wants a break 😭!!!#vi helps take that weight off by supporting her as much as she does (which is A LOT!! and clem supports her in return. they grow together)#that bit in the woods where instead of getting grossed out by the guts vi crouches down to ajs level and keeps the situation calm #and she looks up to clem and gives her a little smile. and clem just relaxes and smiles back !! DO YOU UNDERSTAND !!!#clem being anxious about her reaction. violet putting her at ease. clem getting to Relax for 2 seconds. they help each other CHILL 😭#ALSO why their walk home talking about ericson and renaming it and imagining what they could add to it is just so good narratively #they turned that prison into their HOME!! a place worth fighting for!!!#tenn wanting to help rebuild. vi saying Everyone will :') its a home for ALL OF THEM 😭 its about the COMMUNITY !!!#this is also why i think the friends route still works but theres just even more Juice with the romance. even ignoring minnie #violets “you better not disappear on me”. friended clems “ok” to romanced clems “i promise”#in a season about building a home and a family that second one just hits harder you know? and like above with the learning to dance #i just feel like their romantic relationship specifically fits into the overall themes of the game the strongest and elevates it #me talking at the wall (tumblr drafts)#all of my friends who have played twdg are too normie so i gotta make posts like this instead. or i'll die #wont somebody analyze narrative with me #it speaks

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tacagen · 4 months ago

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one of the things that fascinate me about thawne: yes, he CAN be normal with kids! surprisingly normal!

((not at all times, though. his mental illness still spills through and as usual he, in trying to manipulate or hurt others, spits out at them the exact stuff that would hurt him (or have in his childhood/barry's rejection interpretation) the most in the first place lmao))

but at the same time. his like second instinct when doing his bullshit is FUCK THEM (as) KIDS

(and, well. whatever this classifies as)

#whats wrong with him. seriously. he loves picking fights with literal children So Much #AND NONE OF THEM WITH WALLY ON THE MATTER OF BEING THE BIGGEST FLASH FAN. HOW DID THAT NEVER HAPPEN #about the middle page. honestly i DIDNT remember he is a Jerk in that way too until i checked his interactions with bart for this post #this man officially should not be allowed near children as a mentor.#just straight up drops ALL his insecurities on a poor kid in trying to make him feel ashamed. NO breaking the abuse cycle for this bad boy #the only thing he doesnt say is the direct 'you are a disappointment' altho the message is still the same 💀💀💀💀💀💀#AND I BET HES HELLA PROUD OF THAT. I MEAN CONSIDERING THIS FACT IG HE DOES TRY TO BE BETTER THAN HIS PARENTS. SOMEWHAT.#and omg he formulates his point like in problem based learning (leading the child to making the correct conclusion themselves)#im dying. professor to the fucking core.#and the way he feels the need to bring up flash facts in his appeal?? EO YOURE SO HOPELESS. THIS IS 100% HOW BART SAW HIM THROUGH #and god knows what he told thad promising to get him out of the speed force if he fought barry there and whether he was going to fulfill it #and do you even IMAGINE how FUCKED barry's mental condition would be growing up if thawne fulfilled his button threat #and i really REALLY wonder about the tornado twins and their relationship with 'uncle eobard' but that will be a separate post #he doesnt know any other way tho. and he might be actually mad at bart for not supporting his every action as The Flash #like. he tries to play family but the second they question he just goes WHATEVER. I DONT NEED IT. FLASH OF MY VISION RUNS ALONE #his problem is that he just wants attention. he doesnt see family/heroing for what 'its really about' or downsides that may come with them #everything is so idealized in his head. and the moment he faces reality with its complications the concept immediately gets antagonized.#and then he reconsiders and changes the conditions but fails each time never realizing the problem is his mindset and not everything else #black white at its finest yall #and man. RELATABLE.#also WHY is he standing LIKE A STATUE when appearing in front of bart????😭😭😭😭#poor museum rat has no idea what heroes in real life stand like #eobard thawne #professor zoom #reverse flash #the reverse flash #bart allen #the flash #dc

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griem · 3 months ago

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ijbol idk man releasing screenshots of very polarizing things said in a private discord server between friends in a public "callout" post is #the most #tumblrific thing ive ever seen LOL.

#opinion 😱 in tags

#our life #gb patch #gb patch games #our life beginnings & always #i also think it should be acknowledged that the white queer 'experience' and the black queer 'experience' are totally different #bc there are multiple occasions where GBLady has recieved an ask where shes accused of Something bc of a super specific issue #this whole situation is just the biggest case of GetOverYourself ive ever seen icl #i think rose is entitled to their opinion as a black trans person + a person who previously identified as a trans man #i think its easy to attack rose as an inflammatory person who 'purposely incites discourse' bc they dont use that super-pacifying #everyone is welcome on my blog tone that if not used is immediately interpreted by white people as hostility and rudeness #i don't agree with a lot of their takes that ive seen on their blog that were allegedly posted BEFORE they became a sensitivity reader #but irdgaf #bc its their personal blog and theyre entitled to their opinion and i don't believe u get to feel insulted or slighted #or deem them as unprofessional and inflammatory just bc they didnt speak to u on their personal blog as Nicely as u wanted them to #i just think this all leads back to a growing sense of entitlement in the gb patch fan community #esp among the our life fans #just bc this is a deeply customizable game doesn't mean that the dev can customize Every Single Thing to ur liking #it also doesn't mean that ignorance on the devs part or the staffs part in most capacities is purposefully discriminatory in nature #like no offence but wdym 'ur hands are shaking and u need to get offline' bc of all of This... please grow up and go outside #also This is controversial but a lot of yall use the fact that GBLady is a white cis woman who happens to b writing stories #with a very diverse and nuanced cast to railroad ur ideals on how the characters should b written #and if they don't meet Your personal experience as a member of that marginalized community then They are automatically written incorrectly #again just a very entitled community IJBOL #idgaf if u disagree come and kill me over it 🤷🏾‍♀️#but also im very curious abt what people think !! 👁#i also dk how to phrase this but the white gb patch community also Reeks of this strange entitlement and i hate to say it but . . .#Sensitivity ??#they have this weird almost parasocial relationship with GBLady + this fantastical relationship with the characters themselves #LOL idk if anybody gets what i mean

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luck-of-the-drawings · 7 months ago

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smth smth about 'the thing that the character did that you thought was rly rly funny in the moment is actually linked to a terrible trauma that lies within said character.' or wahtever.

#jrwi show #jrwi fanart #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #made this within a short span of wahtever bc i gotta go up to the mountains for my stupid gay job tonight n im trying #nnot to frrRREAAAK THE FUCK OUUTTTTTTi dont wanna work but. get that bread we fuckin shall i guess #ONWARDS TO THE FISH TORMENT!! sometimes flowers feel pain when you trim them before their blossoming. atleast i imagine so #i used to draw gillion with loooong hair tied into a big ol braid. and then it was confirmed that he had short hair when he was little.#AT FIRST I WAS SAD. but then i realized the duality of. when they were little. gill had short hair. edyn had long hair.#AND NOW THEYRE OLDER. and gillion has long hair. and edyn has short hair #both mirroring eachother. looking up to eachother. subconsciously or not. they most certainly care. and most certainly miss eachother.#GILLION ALWAYS LOVED HOW LONG HAIR LOOKs. atleast i imagine so. he hasnt cut it since he left the undersea. sure he wanted to go back home #but even at the very start. he knew he was free in some way now. free to grow out his hair. an adventure would await him before he returns.#he knew it would be a while. so he cant let this go. he cant let this sought-after hair-length get cut away from him again #not yet. not yet. i like to think he loved music too. I SAW SOMETHING INTERESTING A BIT AGO #i see alot of ppl commenting on my baby gill comics like;'i wouldFIGHT this teacher i wanna KILL EM i want them DESTROYED #all very good and nice sentiments! i LOVE the energy here! and it would be nice. to have that catharsis #but the story of young tidestrider is not a story of catharsis. it is a story of agony and being so so small and so special and also so dum #and sucking so bad. and just being a kid and doing the things that a little kid does and so many tired tired people reacting badly to it #youre supposed to be the hero that will save us. our world hangs in the balance and you are the one who tips the scales.#YOU are supposed to SAVE US!! you NEED to SAVE US! CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SQUIRMING IN YOUR STUPID CHAIR!!#you'd think that young tidestrider ought to prevail. and be tucked someplace all safe and sound.#elders gone missing and rotting in a jail. their cultists nowhere around. but theres no happy endings. not here not now.#this tale is all sorrows n woes. you may dream that justice n peace win the day. but thats not how this story goes #BIG ideas for this lil baby gillion series. if anything i make ever gets disproven im killing myself in a well as to poison a water supply

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inkskinned · 2 years ago

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the rise of AI art isn't surprising to us. for our entire lives, the attitude towards our skills has always been - that's not a real thing. it has been consistently, repeatedly devalued.

people treat art - all forms of it - as if it could exist by accident, by rote. they don't understand how much art is in the world. someone designed your home. someone designed the sign inside of your local grocery store. when you quote a character or line from something in media, that's a line a real person wrote.

"i could do that." sure, but you didn't. there's this joke where a plumber comes over to a house and twists a single knob. charges the guy 10k. the guy, furious, asks how the hell the bill is so high. the plumber says - "turning the knob was a dollar. the knowledge is the rest of the money."

the trouble is that nobody believes artists have knowledge. that we actively study. that we work hard, beyond doing our scales and occasionally writing a poem. the trouble is that unless you are already framed in a museum or have a book on a shelf or some kind of product, you aren't really an artist. hell, because of where i post my work, i'll never be considered a poet.

the thing that makes you an artist is choice. the thing that makes all art is choice. AI art is the fetid belief that art is instead an equation. that it must answer a specific question. Even with machine learning, AI cannot make a choice the way we can - because the choices we make have always been personal, complicated. our skills cannot be confined to "prompt and execution." what we are "solving" isn't just a system of numbers - it is how we process our entire existence. it isn't just "2 and 2 is 4", it's staring hard at the numbers and making the four into an alligator. it's rearranging the letters to say ow and it is the ugly drawing we make in the margin.

at some point, you will be able to write something by feeding my work into a machine. it will be perfectly legible and even might sound like me. but a machine doesn't understand why i do these things. it can be taught preferences, habits, statistical probability. it doesn't know why certain vowels sound good to me. it doesn't know the private rules i keep. it doesn't know how to keep evolving.

"but i want something to exist that doesn't exist yet." great. i'm glad you feel creative. go ahead and pay a fucking artist for it.

this is all saying something we all already knew. the sad fucking truth: we have to die to remind you. only when we're gone do we suddenly finally fucking mean something to you. artists are not replicable. we each genuinely have a skill, talent, and process that makes us unique. and there's actual quiet power in everything we do.