#also i don't think this is entirely reflective of the human condition

[liberifatalis]

i understand all the older og fans who are annoyed that a lot has been revealed about sephiroth's past. i really do. a mysterious villain, if done well, is super effective, and in the og the hints at a somewhat normal but slightly traumatic past is what made sephiroth very compelling.

and yes, ever crisis may very well be fanservice. but who fucking cares.

but a lot of the claims from angry fans that sephiroth's backstory is unrealistic or it ruins his character is so unfounded imo :/

a traumatic past does not take away from a compelling, mysterious villain. a backstory that lays out the situations that influenced a villain to become 'the bad guy' does not make him less of a villain, nor does it ruin his character. many mainline final fantasy games have shown the backstory of their villains — kuja got one, kefka got one, so why not sephiroth? why not expand on things that we already technically know from existing canon lore?

i don't think this is an attempt to make sephiroth a stereotypical, trope-y 'tragic villain'. i don't think it's an attempt to distract us from the atrocities he's committed. i think it's more to see the human in the monster, and to symbolise just how pervasive and destructive shinra is.

if you've watched the boys, you will see many similarities (and of course differences) between sephiroth and homelander, and shinra and vaught. both sephiroth and homelander were pawns of shinra/vaught from the beginning, literally created to be weapons and objects for their organisations. both are manufactured, sort of humans. both were lied to about their origins, both were 'lab rat kids', both had childhoods devoid of what all childhoods should be. manufactured monsters. they are both results of their environment.

and yet, they both are irredeemable in the end, regardless of the fact they were forced on a path they had no say in. AND fans of the boys weren't fucking foaming at the mouth because homelander got a backstory. none of us thought it ruined his character. we all still see him as a man too far gone. why are ff7 fans like this.

i'm not too sure if square will change things up in rebirth and the final game, maybeeee they'll give sephiroth a redemption arc, i'm not sure, but fans are speculating. i don't think they will. but either way, based on the current canon timeline, he isn't redeemable. he's turned into a monster, and he now has the complete opposite of a normal life which is what he wanted as a child.

i also feel like he encapsulates the sort of madness and entitled viewpoint that only a human being, and male villain could possess. and this isn't to take away from his character and it isn't a diss. it isn't a diss at men either. but i think it's extremely realistic. if we think of current society, how men are socialised, they are socialised to believe they have an inherent uniqueness, something special — an inflated ego. and tbh, i think if we look deeper, i think in a lot of western, individualistic societies, this also transfers to everyone, not just men. sephiroth admitted he always thought he was special ("i knew, ever since i was a child, i was not like the others. i knew mine was a special existence. but this… this was not what i meant") and different from the rest. i think this dialogue, while heartbreaking, really does show an insight into his inflated ego. and i personally believe that his ego, his entitlement, was borne of utter loneliness and isolation. what else could give him comfort, other than believing in this idea that he was of a special existence?

while sephiroth turned into a monster, i feel like he is so incredibly reflective of the human condition (or, at least, a facet of the human condition), which to me, is what makes him such a compelling yet tragic character/villain.

who and what else, but a human being, a man, to think the world owes them something, to think they are entitled to justice in the form of suffering and destruction? to think that everyone is deserving of pain all because he was objected to it? to think they can take and take and take some more? to act in a rage so strong that it is no longer blind, but calculating, intentional, thoughtful and nearly prophetic?

who and what else on this earth could be so utterly consumed by emotion to the point of complete destruction? THAT is a facet of humanity, or maybe it's a facet of a lack of it; of the human condition. sephiroth, the monster, the manufactured monster, the one who was of a special existence, the one who is not like the rest...ends up acting in a way that only a human being would be able to. the irony. he doesn't even see it!

[kindnessoverperfection]

I want to break down a common point of conflict when addressing NPD stigma.

A lot of hangups people have tend to be along the lines of "but I DO see a lot of people with actual NPD who are acting in toxic or abusive ways".

This will be kind of long, so bear with me.

Point #1: People are way more likely to be diagnosed if they exhibit "stereotypical" symptoms.

There's this image of NPD as a disorder that is only present in those with patterns of destructive behavior towards others. Many therapists have this conception. (Shockingly, the mental health field is not perfect & without stigma.)

Gonna copy-paste this here from my other blog (so forgive me if you've seen it before), because it's a good example.

Three people are criticized at work. Their boss yells at them for their performance in front of everyone. Person A gets mad and defensive. They yell back, using cutting remarks as a way to try and ease the distress they feel. Person B acts really mature and responsible the whole time, nodding along and agreeing and promising to do better, just desperate to maintain and improve their status. Desperate to be liked. Later they go home and handle their distress through self-destructive means, and spend the next few months overworking themself to the point of illness. Person C doesn't seem to respond much at all. They go quiet and seem distant. They don't lash out or lash in, but for the next month or so, their productivity drops. They simply aren't able to focus on work or self-care, no matter how hard they try. The stress is overwhelming. All three of these people have the same root issues, but only the first would be labeled a narcissist. Outwards behaviors and presentations don't reflect the pain, distress, and difficulties with life that are underlying them.

So, three main things happen.

There ends up being a higher rate of people with destructive behaviors who are diagnosed with NPD

The people who don't particularly exhibit behaviors and are considered ""too nice to have it"" are overlooked entirely (and never get any sort of help for their underlying issues, yayyy)

People are more likely to be more honest about "ugly" symptoms / symptoms that are frowned down upon than they are in other mental health communities.

(Also some people decide to act super edgy about it, which is annoying but here we are. Some of them are trolls.)

(And while I'm at it, some people are misdiagnosed with NPD because a psych sees someone who committed a violent crime and is like "uhh slap them with the Evil Asshole™ disorders!! no further thought given.")

Point #2: People who have messed up are not inhuman monsters who deserve no help or support

While I do think it's important for people to understand that patterns of toxic behaviors aren't the ONLY way NPD can present, I'm not going to let the conversation stop at "some of us are nice though!!"

Human beings aren't RPG characters who can be sorted into "monster" or "ally". Every single person has done something hurtful, has messed up, exhibits some sort of behavior that puts strain on their relationships sometimes.

So I'll bullet point some aspects of this that need to be talked about.

People without NPD also commonly exhibit toxic behaviors, but people ignore that nowadays. Either they armchair diagnose anyone who's slightly rude, or they only focus on it in pwNPD and ignore it in themselves or others. NTs can be jerks too, and they're probably less likely to acknowledge it than pwNPD who are constantly watching and checking themselves and analyzing their behaviors and attempting to do better.

Assuming that NPD makes someone abusive doesn't help anyone. Can it impact behaviors, and make it more difficult for people to be self-aware? Of course. But an important step in healing from any mental health condition (especially personality disorders, ime) is realizing that you're not inherently ""bad"", and that you can take responsibility for your actions and learn to deal with things in constructive ways. Just going "NPD makes people bad, full stop"- other than being a mean shitty thing to say- absolves people of guilt and asserts that there's no reason for them to try and improve.

Yes, it's okay for people to hate their abusers. Their abuser. Not an entire community of people who happen to (maybe) share a trait with them.

Building on the above point, people tend to go in defense mode when they hear things like "pwNPD who have acted in toxic ways can learn to improve their behavior", "people shouldn't be saying awful things about folks with this condition", etc. because they automatically try to apply this to their abuser. Interpersonal situations are very different from society-wide mental health access. No, don't stay with your abuser expecting them to change, and don't hold onto the hope that they will. No, don't censor yourself or your hatred or anger towards them. Just don't make blanket statements about a disorder that they may or may not have- blame their abusive actions, not their mental health.

"I hate you for your abusive actions and the harm that you caused me." =/= "I hate a group of people because of an inherent unchangeable part of them that's tied directly to severe childhood trauma they suffered. Because of it, they're evil and unlovable and are incapable of change. They're inhuman and will never experience real connection with others." ..........See the difference??

Even if there were a disorder with a 100% rate of toxic douchey behaviors, I'd want the conversation around it to be changed. I'd want different words to be used to divide up the spaces and conversations and resources, so that survivors of abusive or toxic behavior can get help, but that the disorder still has space to be treated. Otherwise, there are zero resources for healing. Nothing is being done to help these people or solve the issue. They're just told they may as well not try. They're blocked from healthcare entirely, despite how the entire point of being diagnosed with a condition is supposed to be to treat it.

There's a wide range of people who have NPD- it presents in many different ways, a person who has it may or may not exhibit harmful behaviors- but no one deserves to be denied treatment or told they're unlovable because of a condition they have that was formed from trauma.

Speak out against abusive behavior. Don't destroy healthcare for a medical condition.

[evidence-based-activism]

What do you make of this? “The VAST majority of women are sexually submissive. I think it's around 3/4? I can dig up sources later if I feel like it

The attraction to power and dominance is way deeper than social conditioning and deeply engrained into all human social behavior. It's encoded into the social games we play to determine our standing with each other and which people we find fuckable.

Don't be graping folks, but also don't be denying women the means to sexually and socially satiate themselves by creating a deficit of men who will handle them as roughly as they quietly crave.”

I think it's ridiculous.

I've talked in the past about how men and women really do not feel sexual attraction in fundamentally different ways. The most important point from this post is that "sex differences in self‐reported sexual behavior were negligible ... [when] participants believed lying could be detected, moderate in an anonymous condition, and greatest [when not anonymous]" indicating "sex differences in self‐reported sexual behavior reflect responses influenced by normative expectations for men and women".

This is important, given the extent to which society is permeated by the expectation that women will be sexually submissive and men sexually dominate.

And even keeping this (i.e., that people tend to provide responses congruent with societal expectations of them, at least in sensitive topics) in mind, the percentage of women who report "preferring" sexual submission is far, far lower than 75%. The closest thing to a representative statistic we have comes from YouGov (a polling/data analytics company), which suggests that 21% of American women prefer being "submissive in bed" [1].

Some other research [emphasis mine]:

A review concludes "that traditional sexual scripts are harmful for both women's and men's ability to engage in authentic, rewarding sexual expression, although the female submissive role may be particularly debilitating" [2]

This article is particularly relevant: "Study 1 found that women implicitly associated sex with submission. Study 2 showed that women's implicit association of sex with submission predicted greater personal adoption of a submissive sexual role. Study 3 found that men did not implicitly associate sex with submission. Study 4 demonstrated that women's adoption of a submissive sexual role predicted lower reported arousal and greater reported difficulty becoming sexually aroused" [3]

Further, this article found "women’s submissive behavior had negative links to personal sexual satisfaction and their partner’s sexual satisfaction", and although they specified this was "only when their submission was inconsistent with their sexual preferences" they failed to indicate what percentage of the sample preferred sexual submission. They did, however, find that "women’s submissive behavior" was negatively correlated with "women’s interest in dominant partner" suggesting, at the very least, that women with no interest in dominant partners are engaging in submissive behavior as a result of the "high prevalence of traditional sexual scripts" [4]

---

For the "dominance games" bit ... I expect they are referring to how, for some species, male animals will fight with each other for the "right" to mate with the female animals. He seems to be conveniently forgetting that the aggression in this analogy is being directed towards other males. So, even if we were going to concede the accuracy of the analogy (which I do not), it would be entirely irrelevant to the matter at hand.

Further, the fact that humans may have demonstrated a behavior in the past and/or that other animals demonstrate it now, does not justify the behavior in humans in the present. Infanticide is common among both male [5] and female [6] mammals, as well as in human history [7], but I doubt anyone plans to defend that particular "reproductive strategy".

---

Further, the belief that there are women who secretly "want" men to "handle them roughly" and are simply lying when they say otherwise, is straight from the standard list of rape myths [8]. And acceptance of these misogynistic myths is correlated with men's sexual violence against women [9].

This makes such assertions both incorrect and dangerous.

---

In conclusion: this individual is both factually incorrect and logically inconsistent, and his apparent embrace of rape myths suggests he is – at the very least – an unapologetic misogynist.

References under the cut:

Moore, Peter. Most Americans Open to Sexual Dominance and Submission. YouGov, 13 Feb. 2015, https://today.yougov.com/society/articles/11593-most-americans-open-sexual-dominance.

Sanchez, D. T., Fetterolf, J. C., & Rudman, L. A. (2012). Eroticizing inequality in the United States: The consequences and determinants of traditional gender role adherence in intimate relationships. Journal of Sex Research, 49(2-3), 168-183.

Sanchez, D. T., Kiefer, A. K., & Ybarra, O. (2006). Sexual submissiveness in women: Costs for sexual autonomy and arousal. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 32(4), 512-524.

Sanchez, D. T., Phelan, J. E., Moss-Racusin, C. A., & Good, J. J. (2012). The gender role motivation model of women’s sexually submissive behavior and satisfaction in heterosexual couples. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 38(4), 528-539.

Lukas, D., & Huchard, E. (2014). The evolution of infanticide by males in mammalian societies. Science, 346(6211), 841-844.

Lukas, D., & Huchard, E. (2019). The evolution of infanticide by females in mammals. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B, 374(1780), 20180075.

Levittan, M. (2012). The history of infanticide: exposure, sacrifice, and femicide. Violence and Abuse in Society. Understanding a Global Crisis. Santa Barbara, ABC-CLIO, 83-130.

Payne, D. L., Lonsway, K. A., & Fitzgerald, L. F. (1999). Rape myth acceptance: Exploration of its structure and its measurement using theIllinois rape myth acceptance scale. Journal of research in Personality, 33(1), 27-68.

Yapp, E. J., & Quayle, E. (2018). A systematic review of the association between rape myth acceptance and male-on-female sexual violence. Aggression and violent behavior, 41, 1-19.

[skyeslittlecorner]

Duty of a right hand man: Sitri

As I promised, it's time to abuse this blue lamb.

Warning: self-harm

I totally did NOT mix up the posts and I did not post a wip here earlier that was almost half as long. Nu-uh. Not at all.

Words count: 906

꧁*:･ ✡ ･:*꧂

Demons, like cats, purr in two ways. Usually at the knees of the owner, when they are happy and rules the world. However, sometimes when a pet is dying, it purrs because the vibrations help soothe the pain.

When a soft growl reached Sitri's sensitive ears, what little sleep he had managed to catch faded away. The hospital wing stank of drugs, moonlight reflected off the white walls and bedding. But the worst was the constant noise. Sitri get used to the creaking of his mattress and rustling of quilt and pillow; he liked the whispers of the wind blowing into the curtains through the open window. Hospital? A lot of terrible beeping of machines, squeaking of wheels of the medicine cart and clanking drugs being given to other patients. Even the slippage of physiological salts from the drip into his veins irritated him. Anemia? And what about this? Next time, Buer will have to force him into a straightjacket before putting him in bed.

It took him a few seconds to locate the voice. Unfortunately, Buer must have been right about Sitri’s not-so-good condition, because his migraine couldn't have come from nothing... but still, he would recognize his king's voice at any moment. And he recognized it now too.

He turned off the IV, pulled the tube from his hand, and crawled out of bed. Once the vertical and horizontal lines stopped waving, he adjusted the blanket to make it look as if he was still sleeping in it, curled up. It should be enough for Buer to not notice for a while.

Silently Sitri walked through the halls of the castle, heading towards Satan's chambers. He heard more than he saw; more and more distinct murmur, rhythmic breathing and heartbeat. And also… he felt like his ears were ringing. Sounds doubled. Damn migraine.

He wanted to take some painkillers, but had to find out what happened first. His Majesty had a habit of behaving not entirely sensibly. Once he popped a whole pack of pills into his mouth and chewed them as if they were mints and not painkillers. That's why Sitri preferred to first find out what was happening and only then bring the *measured* medicines. 

He still had that strange feeling that his majesty's heart was beating twice. Without much thinking, he opened the door. The lamp was on in the office, but the chair near solid desk was empty. 

“Hey.” A warm, familiar whisper caught his attention. A beautiful voice that he would recognize anywhere. “Shh, I don't want to wake him up.”

“Solomon…”

Their pretty face twisted hearing his voice. As always. Solomon. He spoke without thinking as he couldn't get used to the fact that the first person he loved was no longer there. Childish? Yes. Could he handle it? No. They felt so much like him. Same soul, similar heart, similar voice. But Solomon faded away so long ago. Sitri wished this beautiful human didn't look so much like him. He wanted to love them as they were. And he loved, despite what thoughtlessly escaped his lips. But only he knew about it.

Unlike other demons, Sitri did not pay much attention to appearance. He cared little about eyesight. He felt the soul and heard the heart. They were the ones who spoke first, before the eyes could show the rest. And, unfortunately, this soul and this heart were identical to his long-lost love. First love. Unrequited love.

And now history repeats itself.

Losing something he could never have hurt bad enough the first time. Now, due to his own stupidity, he couldn't even hope for a second chance. Not when his majesty's head was resting on MC’s lap, not when they stroked him with a tender smile, and not when even their heartbeats synchronized. Sitri felt like an intruder during this intimate moment.

"Sorry." 

He withdrew quietly and closed the door. The pain pierced his chest, pierced his head, blurred his vision… or were they tears? Nevermind. 

Rage flowed through him like electricity. A demon as old as him, how could he be so stupid? Why would this poor human pay attention to him if he couldn't even learn to say their name? Why did he allow himself to hope at all? Why does he… No, he needed to free himself from these thoughts.

He raised his hand, looked at it carefully, and tear out the cannula. 

Blood spilled on the white sleeve. It hurt, but differently. Almost calming. Sticky red liquid flowed along his fang-scarred wrist, warm and thick. There wasn't much of it left in his dry body. If only he could get rid of the rest of it…

No. He had responsibilities. He was the guardian of Gehenna. Responsibilities... that might help.

Feeling a lump in his throat he turned on his heel. Throbbing pain in his hand briefly allowed him to focus enough to go to his own office. Buer did not rule in Gehenna. He couldn't force him to rest. And Satan... he had other things to do now. At least his king was happy, and that meant Gehenna was at peace. If Sitri had to lose them both, he was happy to lose them to each other.

Demons, like cats, purr in two ways. When they are happy and when they are suffering. But despite his excellent hearing, Sitri couldn't hear the soft growl that escaped from his own constricted throat this night.

[zeondraws]

I always wonder why I have been so busy the past months but then I remember all the things I'm doing with SWTD:

(this is more of a thought post about my life/thoughts/feelings than a lore post! Ignore if you are not interested in this, I don't mind)

Taking Screenshots

Multiple recording sessions (for audio or funny moments, and so on)

Multiple playthroughs of the game

Doing an AU for some reason

Drawing the characters (much art)

Also learning how to use procreate, while my big tablet is packed away until November

Working on a video project

Learning how to use OBS

Datamining the gamefiles for more info with fmodel

troubleshooting fmodel because it's showing me the middle finger for the billionth time

learning how to use a dumper to get mappings file (to view files in fmodel)

learning how to install mods and learn how to use them

troubleshooting my pc or laptop because of my silly shenanigans

rebuilding the models in blender while simultaneously watching blender tutorials to understand what the hell I'm doing

read about TCR's other games and play them (I still have to play Little Orpheus)

Trying to research movies or any blogpost/YouTube posts regarding the game

Other types of research that I can't think of right now

Sharing results with others and discuss the findings to figure lore out

confusedscreaming.mp4

????

It has a lot of reasons why I am super determined and stubborn? when it comes to something I'm passionate about. (It's really hard to explain)

Family always dismissed my hobbies and didn't support me much for them. They often gave me false promises and made me wait for nothing

Often treating me like a baby, as if I can't think for myself. I had to fight a lot for my passions the past decade or so. Even dealing with a former coworker who was very manipulative and tried very hard to belittle me.

I can't even explain all the stress I had to endure because of my old job. Constantly monitored for mistakes, constantly shoved to a corner, freedom taken away, bullied, my feelings had been manipulated so much that I just.. had entire months where I cried every single day. And I'm not even kidding, I went to work in fear, I walked home in fear, I woke up in fear. I still remember that evening where I was so afraid of everything. I was so scared to even be in my apartment, I just balled my eyes out because it was too much at that moment.

Only thing that kept me going was my determination, hope.. daydreams. . and seeking out help (therapy, friends) and using the anger I felt for my coworker to work on my art/passions and show myself that I'm not worthless.

Sometimes my coworker would treat me badly on some days, so after I went home I used my anger and sadness to make art. Even if I sat there drawing for 5h. It did help me to improve a ton in my skills.

I think that event made me go through this journey of? self reflection and growth. It's wild how much happened after that.

Family wasn't helpful in this painful time period, one told me I'll end up alone, that I shouldn't talk to people online or that I should be happy to have a job (Talking to family is like talking to a wall). Or another family member who tries so hard to treat me like an object.

It fills me with anger, but they're all I've got. I thankfully have many friends I can go to when needed, but I wouldn't be able to fully abandon my family. It's probably because I felt so down when my mother passed away over two years ago. I haven't talked to her in years because of her mental condition, but her passing hit me badly.

I have struggled for a while to work on other skillsets because I was too afraid, doing videos, blender, drawing humans idk why, maybe no confidence in myself to try it out

.. Suddenly swtd gets released and my head does a 360 and is like "I'm going to learn all of this now, hold my bear". Using my obsession about this game to learn something new, which helped me overcome so many hurdles. Like the amount of times I threw myself out of my comfort zone while I tried to fiddle with the game.

Like, look at the difference in my human art

This is the first time I drew Muir like.. I forgot when I drew this, two months ago?

And then like this is from a few days ago

... *compares* I don't know how to explain the difference, I think there is one-

Like,. It's hard to compliment myself because of the sheer amount of stress I endured over the year. I've been out of the old job for 3 weeks now. I'm so glad I'm out of there.

I remember how I always wanted to draw an entire dragon, not just a bust. And look I ended up drawing one!! Ok with Roper's head but yea!

I think family difficulties and other events made me feel very detached from others. I never felt/feel like I belong anywhere. I moved so often that this feeling persisted. And it may persist for who knows how long. I only recently got a diagnosis, I have a form of depression, but it's somewhat mild. Hence why I'm still able to perform in daily tasks and work. Tho I don't want to use my condition as an excuse, I rather just want to show that I'm capable of something. That even people who struggle mentally can find success in what they do.

Life throws so many hurdles but I think I am slowly used to living in the chaotic environment. I keep drawing and work on my hobbies while I wait to move apartments.

I try very hard to change my mindset even tho my mind had been so used to the negative spirals. But I try to stay determined and keep on learning. I am not all knowing and I need to remember that mistakes are ok and that I need them to keep learning and have progress.

I've been pushing aside so many thoughts while I messed with the game. Even tho it's 2AM I needed a quiet moment to think about it all.

I am very open with my thoughts and feelings, it's what I usually do on my Instagram account when I post my art.

Tomorrow is another day to learn something new.

[crowbawt]

I really should be sleeping but my anxiety so instead here's a very long disjointed post with thoughts about the Man in the Wall after playing Whispers

Spoilers obviously

So the climax of the quest was us somehow holding back Mr. Big Indifference using a memory of love. And it makes sense, because what is the opposite of Indifference towards others? Caring about them. Which is kind of our (Tenno) entire thing. To Take Away Its Pain, etc. There's also Rell, who was also able to hold back Wally, and how he was alienated by his peers and even Marghulis, and the Orokin society who feared and shunned him and didn't treat him as a fellow human being deserves to be treated. As some of the Red Veil blood scrawls in his quest put it, "What is evil, but indifference?" It works quite well, thematically. But Warframe doesn't really restrict itself to a singular, direct approach to invoking its themes. Shit's got layers. Which leads me to believe there may be other layers here, too. And at this point, I'm really not convinced that Wally is so simple as the cosmic idea of Indifference towards others, or even a personification of fear and other 'dark' aspects of the human condition. I mean, I believe he is partially that, we do get that dialogue from Sythel "The first scholar looked into the Void and felt fear, and that fear took form. That's how all this started." Albrecht also refers to himself as the "Father of fears" in his notes somewhere (I forgor) But... Fear is not Indifference. And the Man in the Wall not only shows great interest in many things (like Albrecht, and our Tenno) but he also shows a great deal of emotion. He is described by Duviri citizens as hungry, greedy, jealous. He has feelings, and he has a great deal of them. A being born of fear and indifference towards others doesn't really describe what we've seen of him very well. What Wally has been shown as time and time again is instead: a mirror. Our reflection. So here's the rhetorical question I'd like to ask: If Albrecht gazed into the grand cosmic mirror of existence, and his first reaction was fear, well... it wasn't really the Void he was afraid of, was it?

...Which probably doesn't seem like a point worth all this build up, considering how during the quest, Albrecht's flaw of showing indifference to others (Loid, specifically) is brought up a few times. Albrecht looked into the Void, his Indifference and fear seeped in, and the result was Wally. Makes perfect sense. To which I say, look at the scrollbar to the side of this post because I have soooooo much more bullshit to spew about my thoughts on this. Anyway. I've seen some theorizing that we're probably going to "defeat" the Man in the Wall by forgiving him or otherwise reaching out and showing him love, similar to the way we helped Umbra. Love will triumph over Indifference. And that makes sense and feels very Warframe and I do think that will happen. Buuuuut I don't think it's the only thing that's going to happen. Because if something is destroyed or undone by love, doesn't that... kind of undermine the message of loving an ugly, broken thing? Doesn't having the ultimate villain be some abstract space monster elder god representing pure un-love kind of jar with the very personal, human focus of Warframe's storylines? I don't think this is a Love vs. Indifference Pokemon typing match-up here, I don't think the Love requiem word is going to defeat the Indifference requiem word like a game of rock paper scissors. That would be too trite. Besides, it's not Wally's Indifference, really. It's Albrecht's.

And I've seen a lot, a lot of speculation that Wally "is" Albrecht, just a very derived evil alternate of him, and maybe Albrecht manages to convert himself into Wally as some kind of self-fulfilling quantum time-loop, becoming the reflection that reached out to his own self. It makes a lot of sense, what with the "We End as We Began" thing, and us encountering doppelganger smiley Albrecht in the quest. It works, thematically. This very well could be the answer and it wouldn't be bad storytelling per se.

However, for reasons I am not sure how to articulate at 3 am, I honestly kiiiiiind of hate it. It is not an ending to this that I'd be personally very satisfied with. Again, this doesn't mean it would be bad story-telling, or that other people wouldn't find it satisfying, it's just me and how I like my eldritch horror to be. So I choose to speculate other possibilities up until the point I am proven wrong, and if I am I promise to not be too annoyingly butthurt about it. Promise. Here's my preferred take: I think the "Great Indifference" name for The Man in the Wall is a massive red herring. I think it relates far more meaningfully to what he actually is if you instead interpret it as "undifferentiated."

As in, the Void is a massive roiling quantum soup of all possible outcomes that could exist, but don't--to us. Specifically, us, as in our unique conscious POV, or "personal timeline" or "Chain of Khra" or quantum observer "cone of light" or whatever you want to call it. We are a 3rd dimensional ant stuck walking down a Mobius strip of cause and effect, and the Void is everything that we can not perceive from our tiny tiny window of specific probability variables. We are unable to "change the frame," as Euleria puts it, and I interpret that as "frame of reference."

While a lot of the differences are more... semantic than anything, Eternalism is not actually just Warframe's funny in-universe stand-in name for the Multiple Worlds Interpretation of Reality. This is a whoooooole another post worth of word vomit I won't get into now but Warframe did not come up with Eternalism it's an actual established thing that they're referencing.

The Void is everything, all at once. And if something is everything, in a way it is also... nothing. No contrast, no ups and downs, no loss, no birth, no death, no questions, and no mysteries to ponder. Joy is the same as sorrow, alive is the same as dead, "change" as a broad concept is impossible. If there is an opposite of human consciousness, of being alive and having lived, that's the closest thing I can think of.

There's a reason why the Void is shown in stark black and white until we put color into it... and in his original logs, Albrecht speaks of "scintillating vapor pouring out of my very skull." Human consciousness, our "light," (and the meaning of Albrecht's name, and the significance of us accidentally offering to let Wally "take our light" in the New War, etc) interacting with and reacting with the raw potential of the Void. It makes sense with the Wall being a bleak brutalist expanse of unmoving bone and dust, too. That could Wally's original, natural state: a solid block of grey, meaningless everything. It would explain his jealousy of us, why he takes our appearance, echoes aspects of our personalities, uses our voices, picks at our memories and experiences. It's why he's fascinated with us. It is the one thing he isn't, the one thing he can not have. Or--at least, couldn't have, before Albrecht's intrusion. This is a side-note, but I find it very interesting that Wally's missing finger seems to have limited him in some way, that now he's constrained by the Chains of Khra, implying that before Albrecht, he was not. Now I'm going to rewind waaay back to the topic of Wally being Albrecht's fear made manifest, and us defeating Wally by showing him love, not violence. Because... I don't think our love is enough to fix things on its own. It isn't us who needs to show him love and understanding. I think it has to be Albrecht.

The syndicate's plotline exploring a group of animals who had consciousness forced upon them, suddenly and violently and without consent, the difficulties they face grappling with it--I think that might echo the origin of the Man in the Wall. Consciousness being forced on not an animal, but the Void. You know the quote, "We are the Universe learning about itself?" Maybe in this case, the universe had a very shitty teacher.

And imagine this consciousness being thrust into the Void, taking form within it as an out-of-control chemical reaction, how might it attempt to communicate with Albrecht, with the first 'other' it ever encountered? Perhaps mirroring his form, speaking in his voice, using an endearing and personal term from his childhood: "Little Bengel?" What if, for those brief seconds, The Man in the Wall was not actively malicious? What if he was reaching towards Albrecht not seeking to trap him in a predatory "deal," but out of a sincere desire for connection? How would if feel then, to have your outstretched hand met with fear, disgust--a rejection so violent that your very fingers are severed by him slamming shut the door, an injury that leaves you weakened. A missing part of yourself, and nothing on your side of the wall to fill that hole with. Well it would make you a little bit bitter, I assume. And if those fingers are then used to perform miracles of science, to serve as the foundation for the triumph of an entire empire... you might feel a bit like you're owed. That bitterness may be compounded by the hypocrisy of it all, because all that you showed Albrecht was his own reflection. You might start to fixate on that hypocrisy, on those human flaws, on the parts of him that he didn't want to see. The reflection that he ran from, but further warped to emphasize what he tries to ignore. His shadow self. And so you haunt him with his shadow, because you want him to be forced to see. To acknowledge those parts of him he wishes he wasn't, but you're everything: you know. You won't let him ignore you, to deny you. You are now a jealous, bitter thing. A hungry ghost. You shove these flaws and bits of self-hatred back in his face because you want to make him look at them. To look in the mirror. ....To look at you. To acknowledge you exist. To see you as a thinking, feeling being. And I do think our Tenno are capable of this. To see the Man in the Wall not as "The Other," but as Another. The opposite of Indifference. I think that will be an important part of our story. But our story is not all of the story. It was not just any memory of love that drove back the Indifference, it was Albrecht's love. Unfortunately, I don't think Albrecht as we know him is capable of this, at least not as he is. He speaks of Wally as a malicious force, a cosmic evil that must be fought and only he is brilliant enough to figure out how. Even now, he refers to his reflection only with terms of disgust and shame. For all his monologues about guilt and his grand designs of martyrdom... he still thinks only in terms of himself. He thinks he understands his own guilt, and Wally delights in demonstrating all the ways that he does not. "If I must be a demon, may I be an honest one." That statement is, itself, dishonest. Albrecht is not a demon. He is human.

And that's what he's so deeply, violently afraid of admitting, the fear the entire Orokin civilization built itself on top of as foundation. I believe that is the fear that manifested in The Man in the Wall. And THAT is the kind of cosmic horror I want to see, while also feeling very Warframe. Crossing my fingers we get something closer to this and not just Albrecht accidentally (or purposely?) becoming an evil quantum demon. There's actually like. A whole other section to this I was going to yammer on about but it's now 4:30 AM and whooopppsssssssss

[mithrifer]

Ditching Earth in Science Fiction

So recently I've fallen back into the rabbit hole of pop scifi youtube. Spacefaring, gene editing, colonies and so on. While it's all fun one type of sentence in these far future scenarios always sort of gets to me.

"...To leave before the Sun becomes a red giant and engulfs Earth." or "We need to leave before something happens." or "In order to leave Earth."

Leave leave leave. Whether it's due to the Sun, some asteroid or whatever else that always seems to be the goal. Humans need to leave Earth. In the (optimistic?) cases where we stay, we essentially bring in whatever we can find out there and build the entire crust into a massive city. There's greenery to seem futuristic in the illustrations of those cases, but it always feels like saving face to me. Because the priority is always on us.

Keep in mind that these are all procautions taken towards things that will happen billions of years later. In the meteor case, I'd say if we can consistently send out colonisers out there we could also get rid of a space rock, but the main offender is always the Sun scenario. It'll blow up, so we gotta ditch Earth. It's gonna die and we shouldn't die with it. Humans have to preserve their culture, all of our unique creations and outlooks. Our ways of life and experiences. Our differences and beauty. What of Earth's? It's been through far more than us. It's got beautiful landscapes in constant shift, millions of years of history beneath its ice and rocks, an unimaginable amount of life that has lived and died on it.

It's confounding that people can imagine hundreds of fantastic futures where humans edit themselves to grow wings, be like Ben 10 aliens or get ships that pierce through the universe to get somewhere billions of light years away in seconds, but we can't think up a way to keep our home.

Maybe we could recycle the helium in our star somehow so that it doesn't blow up. Maybe we would cover the Earth in some special conditioning sphere and turn the entire planet into a spaceship. I don't know. I can't predict technology even 50 years from now, let alone the several billion we have to figure this shit out. The point is that nobody is even trying to imagine such a thing.

Out planet is always just the backstage, a setting if it's lucky and just an origin point if it isn't. We evolved here, then we leave it in order to soar the universe. Because a blue dot clearly doesn't hold a candle to the vastness of space. I don't know of anything where it does hold one. Where we care about it, where it has substance. Instead, it always feels like Earth doesn't have a role in the future of humanity.

It's just sort of infuriating to me. Imagination often reflects experiences in real life, after all. Humans generally consider themselves "above" Earth. We pollute it, we treat it like trash. It's not a home but real estate. We don't imagine our planet in our science fiction, because we don't think of it in general.

I guess I'm just sort of sentimental because I do, and I want us to be here with it no matter what, even if it's a billion trillion years from now. I want us to be here taking care of our planet. Preferably now, too.

[mondaymelon]

elysia's travel guide (honkai impact x genshin impact)

warnings/notes! female reader wakes up as elysia in genshin impact-i think? mentions of alcohol

(a/n) request from 🪷 anon! not sure if i got this request right so if i didnt, feel free to request again ^^

˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚

This wasn't right. It couldn't be. But here you were, right where the traveler had first started their venture. The beaches of Starfell lake, picturesque as ever, the cerulean waters sparkling in the sun and weeding calla lilies swaying in the warm breeze.

Hesitantly, you made your way down to the shore, taking you time with each step. Upon seeing your reflection, your fears were confirmed.

Soft hair the color of sakura-petals framed your face elegantly, gently curling at the ends and tied neatly in a low ponytail. Curious cyan eyes with pink irises peered back at you from your blurry reflection. On the side of your head, a large hairclip with a pretty sapphire-like gem had been pinned, the crystal matching the color of your eyes. Lifting a white-gloved hand to your face, you brushed away your hair and looked at the final clue. Pointed ears, not like one of a humans.

Breathing in sharply, you glanced up at the sky. And there it was, floating above in the heavens, the palaces of Celestia, drifting above the clouds.

So that was it. Somehow, you had become Elysia from Honkai Impact 3, and gotten teleported into Genshin impact. The two were your favorite games, so it was really possible that this was all just a dream, but you ruled it out upon seeing the vividness. The astoundingly beautiful scenery and the sounds of wildlife were just impossible to mimic.

okay. calm down. youre a really hot lady who is now in a fantasy rpg. calm down. you can do this. youre fine. Repeating those words inside of your head, you left the waterside and began the path to Mondstadt. The majesty of... well, everything silenced you the entire way there, and for the first time, you realized that you were free. Truly, entirely, free.

And somewhere in your mind, you decided. You wanted to live in this universe. You wished to converse with the people that the Traveler had done so and befriend all of them. And now, it was all possible. Smiling to yourself as you stepped among the pebbly path, you watched a miniature fox dart into the underbrush.

Finally.

Now fate was all yours to toy with.

⁺˖ ⁺˖ ⁺˖ ⁺ 🕤 ⁺˖ ⁺˖ ⁺˖ ⁺

"Come on, Lin. You know you were in the wrong, so let's just stop this rabble already." Puffing your cheeks out, you pouted at the blonde treasure who stood before you, expression masked by a bandana.

The man shook his head. "We need this. My fellow brothers and sisters are starving... and so we had to. Please understand. I can't give these back." The treasure hoarder had closed his eyes, bracing himself for whatever horrific punishment you would inflict upon him.

Instead, you lightly punched his shoulder playfully before grinning. "You should've told me if you needed help!" You swiftly whipped out a notepad and pen from your pocket. You had modified your outfit since to become more convenient for traveling and adventuring. Scribbling down some notes before beaming in satisfaction, you handed him the note. "Here. This is an invoice for five hundred thousand Mora for Northland Bank. Use this money to get your life back on track, and help your family, whoever they may be." You smiled as the man hesitated, before taking the note out of your hands.

He paled instantly, shaking his head. "Young Lady, I can't accept such a large sum...!"

"Oh, it's fine. After all, we're friends now, right?" You grinned, placing your hands on your hips triumphantly. On your back hung the Elysia's bow, which had also somehow came with you when you first appeared in Teyvat. "But! One condition! Next time you meet up with your brothers and sisters, invite me too. Don't worry, I'll pay for my expenses. Is that okay with you!"

"That's more than okay, lady-"

"Ellie."

"Wh-"

"Call me Ellie."

⁺˖ ⁺˖ ⁺˖ ⁺ 🕤 ⁺˖ ⁺˖ ⁺˖ ⁺

"Come on, let's go for one more round! It's on me!" You strained to carry your voice with how loud the campsite was, but nonetheless, the drunken cheers of the fatui members surrounding you were heard.

You had travelled through Mondstadt, joining as an Honorary Apprentice Knight, before going to Liyue and becoming friends with the adepti who lived there. While the manner they talked in was funny, they were wise and unwaveringly kind. After that, you had gone to Inazuma, where you were now, sharing a drink with your comrades on the beaches of Inazuma, near their campsite.

The Fatui were a rowdy bunch, but not necessarily ill-hearted. Not to you, at least. After the death of Signora, the Fatui had been hatefully driven out by the civilians and shogunate. They had nowhere to go, and were forced to live on shores in campsites and tents. When you found them, you were so moved by their story you almost cried. Since then, you had become sworn friends with them and always joined in on their drinking sessions and feasts.

"For Ellie!" A flushed face Anemo Vangaurd Boxer shouted, raising his foaming glass of beer in celebration. Instantly, several similar cheers arose from all around camp, and before long, the fatui members had lifted you up and were holding you above their heads, like what some singers do at concerts.

Your heart instantly felt warm. You had made so many friends, saw so many great things, and helped a great deal in the grand scheme of things. For the first time, you had finally felt alive.

Under your breath, so quietly it was almost inaudible, you whispered, "Thank you. All of you. For being by my side."

masterlist next

[scrvivorisms]

The Time Travel Gift

An Interview With the Vampire Power Analysis

As we all know from watching the show itself, Vampires are easily able to stop time in its very tracks. That is nothing new. However, if Maxine Caulfield, for any reason- any time or place. Even an alternate reality-- she would be the originator for the Gift of Time Manipulation.

Over the 9 years I have been within Life Is Strange, theories both canon and otherwise point to numerous theories that still tie together. Including but not limited to: Quantum Theory, Quantum Weirdness, String Theory, Chaos Theory, Butterfly Effect, Mystic Weather and more. These all are intrinsic to Maxine and her life as a human. Albeit what I call a Multiversial Being. She exists beyond one single thread. She is everywhere and nowhere. Everything, all together at once yet still not.

I think, regardless of whom it is that would potentially turn Maxine, her powers and strength to manipulate the very fabric of reality would increase exponentially. Become more grounded. And this is because of Schrodinger's Cat Theory. If she as a human reflects the singular state of being human- being alive, and we can recognize her limitations and weaknesses, what kind of ability would an individual reflecting both states of existence (dead and alive) have? I think it would become an untamable thing.

It wouldn't be like the comics. A coming and going with the tide. A pull you cannot resist. It wouldn't be trying to puzzle together who you know and what you missed. You would perceptively know it. You would know the end. The very outcomes and consequences. She would have the knowledge and ability to choreograph something so someone would live- or so that the conflict would end well. In the favor of herself or of those she values. Max, is ever the Mediator. To such a level and fault she unconsciously seeks to please those around her. It is a curse.

This is also why, regardless of verse, of thread, her morality is Vague. You don't just become what your best friend calls a "Time Lord" and have something black and white. Subjective. Practical. You have to step away and recognize the nuance. That sometimes, doing nothing is best. And that in other situations, doing everything for one is what must be. That, as she learned as was told time and time again: "You cannot save everyone." It doesn't matter what she wants. Sometimes things are so deeply ingrained that letting it alone will help more than any change perceived.

However as a vampire there are consequences. The very thing that plagued Maxine and still fears due to her Empathy: Life. Goodness. Contribution. Improvement. Maxine believes in redemption. Something other than what she is presented. She's learned and has been taught that there is always more than meets the eye. To dig and dig until you were sure.

She may be able to bend and contort any way she wants as a Vampire but must weigh the trail she leaves behind. Strange weather, animals dying en masse, untracked and unknown or documented astrological anomalies. And in the most severe cases: Hurricanes. Insurmountable storms. Something entirely unbeatable by standards of the human condition.

And this is why, if she were a Vampire, Maxine would choose very, VERY carefully on who she would sire. There is an untold and unquantified level of self awarness and responsibility one must have for such Goddess-like power.

But on a lighter note: Whoever Makes her has MAJOR Bragging Rights.

[tobiasdrake]

Deeper we go. Yuma must face the true nature of this city.

Blank Week Mystery. When Huesca's army of ravenous immortals, exposed to sunlight, ate every human being in Kanai Ward.

We ready to confront the reality of what that is, Yuma? Or do we need to do some more rounds of puzzle-solving first?

Looks like we're going straight there. Here we go, Yuma. The true Ultimate Secret of Kanai Ward. The true nature of the city and its inhabitants.

There it is. The truth about this entire city and its residents that Yuma didn't want to find. But that has been undeniable since the moment we realized what the Restricted Area truly is.

Not so. All you need to understand is what happened to the original residents. Which is pretty obvious if you think about it for two seconds.

What they don't remember is the week itself, because they spent it being driven berserk by the sun.

That's what drove them to attack Kanai Ward to begin with.

I still want to know how the arrival of night didn't cause this to happen. The sun didn't remain in the sky for the full week. It had to go down for many hours, several times.

Maybe the moon's reflection cast enough sunlight on the city to keep the homunculi in their berserk state? But Makoto said if they remain berserk for too long, they'll die and then regenerate in their perma-feral state. How long is too long?

Everyone in Kanai Ward thinks they're human. Makoto's gone to great lengths to ensure that they're kept in conditions that will retain their sapience, without them ever knowing.

Dr. Huesca manslaughtered this entire city. With the exception of the Master Detectives, everyone we've met here is the doppelganger of a corpse.

They didn't even realize they weren't the originals, so they simply stepped back into their lives as if they'd never left them.

Of course. As previously noted, they were rightfully but tragically paranoid of Amaterasu's blood test. Not that it would have mattered anyway to them, since everybody died. The only difference between the real Kurumi and Gramps is that Kurumi has an unsuspecting impersonator living out her life for her.

It's the sole reason that the homunculi are able to live domestic lives here at all. Makoto's weather machine restored Kanai Ward to a semblance of normalcy without any of the homunculi ever being the wiser.

Thus preventing them from reviving in a feral state and attacking anyone else. I'd first thought that it was to prevent them from being discovered but the revelation that they revive feral changed everything. It's clear that the rapid removal of corpses is for the city's benefit.

Makoto's always insisted that he loves and cherishes this city. I believe that. He sees the homunculus residents as kindred.

They didn't want humans coming here or, worse, homunculi leaving. This city was designed to effectively be a secret homunculus preserve.

Humans. It's a nutritional requirement to keep the homunculi from losing their minds and going feral again.

That's why Number One and the WDO have been kidnapping the culprits from their investigations. The WDO knew the truth about this city from the beginning. Their agenda in sending everyone here to "discover" it remains unclear.

It's also weird that he's you, Yuma. There is something weird happening here. Maybe this is Makoto in disguise or something?

Is it because they have pink blood? Special characteristics in the blood has been mentioned as a means of differentiating humans from homunculi. "Because it's pink" seems so obvious as to be a silly answer. You'd think someone would have noticed if their blood was the wrong color from a human's.

But. Maybe.

HOPE SPRINGS ANEW

The blood is pink BECAUSE HOMUNCULI confirmed. Man, this has implications for anyone writing a Danganronpa crossover fic, but that's beside the point.

This point firmly establishes that only homunculi have pink blood. Not humans. Never humans.

Yuma's red blood is something I noticed back on the train, when he left a bloodstain on the door lock after breaking open the window. I thought I simply misremembered, since I didn't get a good look at it. But we see his red blood in the Labyrinth Questions every time Shinigami slashes out his throat, too.

Yuma is 100% human. That makes sense, since he came from outside of Kanai Ward. But he also lost his memories, so a possibility certainly existed that he came from Kanai Ward and something something WDO conspiracy nonetheless.

But no. He's a red-blooded human. Just like the Master Detectives that Makoto fed to the homunculi.

Just. Like.

The Master Detectives.

Y'all. I think Makoto may have pulled a fast one.

Good for him. Maybe his head doesn't have to go in a box. I am willing to put my homicidal fury on the backburner until we know why our friends' alleged corpses would have homunculus blood.

[bloodpen-to-paper]

How the Kendom's Patriarchy Reflected the Patriarchy Within Ken

I know the title sounds stupid bear with me

I noticed the film made a point to show how much shittier the Kendom was to the Barbies than Barbieland was to the Kens. in the world we live in, women are conditioned to be considerate of others, sometimes at our own expense, while men are conditioned to conquer and pursue their goals without considering who that effects. This is what caused patriarchal ideals of women being something for men to "pursue" rather than people. We talk about this when discussing the male vs female gaze, how the male gaze objectifies while the female gaze aims to humanize. The Barbies simply ignored the Kens, the Kens could've made their own society if they chose too, while the Kens brainwashed and subjugated the Barbies. While the movie makes a point to say neither gender group having power over another is good and the gender field should be equal, patriarchal teachings have resulted in way more harmful consequences for women than anything to come out of the femcel/radfem sphere considering patriarchy is the current reality we live in.

Usually this would be enough to make its own point, but Greta didn't include this just to make more commentary on how the patriarchy effects women, but to specifically show what it does to the men within it. Ken's final arc revolved heavily around the idea of men "getting the girl" and feeling useless after Barbie rejected him, because that's a huge part of patriarchy. Patriarchy tells men that women are objects to be won, and that once they win a woman they are true men who have achieved their life goal. Many men base their entirely personality around being attracted to women, and it shows in how they talk, their jokes, how much they sexualize, etc. And when these same men fail to "get a girl" (because we are, in fact, people with our own wants and desires) they feel useless. That anger often leads them to the incel pipeline of thinking they are owed women's time, attention, and bodies, but above all it leads to them feeling hopeless and failed by false promises. The Kendom was fueled by that rhetoric, with Ken breaking down when he realized he couldn't make Barbie love him because that's all he's ever wanted. He was taught that was his life purpose, and he didn't know what to do when he realized Barbie is a woman who exists outside of him, and that he can't seem to do the same.

By doing this, Greta shows the nuance that comes with systemic oppression. Ken's arc is something that holds men accountable and doesn't make them seem like some untouchable and unavoidable boogeyman, but as people who make deliberate choices that negatively effect women. Similarly, because they are people, and because systemic oppression is never good for anyone, the movie shows how the Kens were also brainwashed by this system, and how its hurting them as well. The Kens, and really men, are pumped full of the same lies as women, and the movie calls for them to work on themselves to unlearn these teaching so that they can be better people to those they hurt, and be people to themselves. Not a conqueror, not a mate, but humans who don't need to obsess over their sexuality and ability to get female partners to be worth something. Men's worth doesn't rely on their interactions with women, just like women's value doesn't rely on their interactions with men. The two groups exist and need to start co-existing, because the gender divide has made all of us treat each other as another species rather than a person like anyone we'd find in our families, friend groups, etc. Gender should not be a roadblock, nor a source of fuel for how you interact with people; it should just be, in the same way hair color and height are. This message is not something that will resonate with all, but its important, and Barbie very effectively made it for all those who needed to hear.

[b1lly-g0at]

the fact someone can be bullied over their views is definitely one that reflected a lot, like i mean we can view people as individuals though generally the main problem is once somebody shows signs of a mental condition people stop caring because they believe he's crazy. it's really sad since we don't exactly understand someone's character and imo it'd be nice if we can assume things aren't that binary for things that aren't objectively bad. i admit i have asd and social anxiety which had peaked in 2021 though i've been slowly overcoming that with friends who understand me but really for other people they did one mistake and it's the end of them and it's very disproportionate realising that from another pov and part of my goals are definitely not to think that in situations. i'm pretty prone to b&w thinking and i'm trying to overcome that and take things at a empathetic perspective but really there are cases where you don't know the person and make assumptions. so to someone who is neurodivergent i feel this so hard that it's a pretty intruding feeling when you fear about self-image and how you come across because it's easy to say you support neurodivergent people without recognizing the conditions or supporting them, even in the modern era we say we support people when they behave like us but what if they're not?

what if it took a long time to realise they did something wrong and get cancelled and it's their entire image and they're genuinely apologetic about it? it's something i reflected when i saw a twitter drama over someone being cancelled and bullied over a fic even after she genuinely apologized for that since the situation isn't always as clear cut. also people probably had bad experiences and they end up writing things that nobody can control (fics/art/proships) and nobody is there to tell them gently on how to have healthier outlets, all they face is jeers and cancellation. so looking at things on another perspective i realised how important it is not to think somebody is defined as the biggest mistake they did, of course this philosophy has its limits if someone refuses to acknowledge their faults and could not be talked to over it in which there is no point if they refuse to redeem. overall i wish people had a more empathetic approach on those kind of things though we're humans which is a perpetual weakness, us wanting to be right all the time is a problem since this doesn't allow us to take a breather and consider other solutions to a problem and it's refreshing once you acknowledge that unironically. as someone who had been diagnosed with that and struggling to have the cues for people i wish people took others with respect. idk i just wanted to vent about it after seeing a situation on twitter which did make me question about humanity, it was only a single fic of a inanimate insanity ship that led to em getting harrassed so disproportionately and i don't think people should be bullying em since it led to a breaking point, it happened, people only helped when she was at the verge of despair which is very depressing and hopefully we move forward from that.

[askmadcomcrew]

ill explain the best i can since i have autism:

its a developmental disorder!! it impairs the ability to interact, communicate, or atruggle with tones! and sometimes autistic people have repetitive behaviors or interests that they fixate on greatly

I'm gonna answer this one out of character since this particular topic has crossed my inbox a few times and I never really gave it a proper answer.

The reason I never answer any of the "are any of you guys autistic" questions is simply because, well...I don't have autism. It doesn't really feel right for me as a guy with ADHD to try and be writing an autistic character, and also I personally want to leave it up to interpretation.

The MadCom crew aren't exactly ones to open up about their feelings or mental struggles, I prefer to have people infer what might be going on in their heads from the asks given. It's more fun that way. You can make headcanons about my headcanons, it creates a weird little feedback loop of fun.

It's also kind of why I was hesitant to confirm or deny any character sexuality, again, I like to think that's something people could just decide for themselves. Except for Hank being aro/ace, I knew for a fact that's what I would be doing the moment the question inevitably reached him. It's closest to what's deemed "canon", I suppose.

Krinkels gets asked about it a lot, if Hank is gay, bi, or some other variety of queer, and the usual answer is just "I don't think he's interested in that sort of thing." So I've tried to reflect that in this blog as much as I can, as it's really the most we know about a character's "canon" sexuality.

This also goes with gender identity, and I've tried to reflect Krinkels' viewpoint as well, which is the idea that all grunts are inherently some level of Nonbinary, due to physically lacking any reproductive organs, meaning they can choose to present however they want. It just happens to be that most of our dear protagonists present masculine.

And then there's the question of "do any of you guys have autism?" Where to even begin? Does Autism even exist in Nevada? Do they have people who can test for and diagnose it? How would Autism work in the Nevadean realm as opposed to the Human realm? Do I draw parallels to our world, or do I make it something different entirely?

It's questions like this that lead me into arguably the biggest question: What if I do it wrong?

What if I offend someone? Say something insensitive? Misrepresent a very serious condition that many people experience? Would it be right of me to play it off as just fiction, as it just being "like that" in this world?

I don't think it would, and that's why I've opted to never really confirm it.

So, the long and short of it is, I think that's a question that you, dear reader, must answer yourself. If you want any of these characters here on this blog to be autistic, go right ahead, I can't stop you and nor do I have any desire to.

And anon, in case this comes across the wrong way, I'm not attacking you or accusing you of pushing me into a corner, I'm just giving a proper explanation as to why this particular question has never been met with a straight answer.

(And, again, sorry for the paragraphs.)

[longagoitwastuesday]

I've also been reading the three musketeers and the thesis chapter had me Cackling. the clowning on learning latin in particular and aramis as a character constantly emphasizing that being part of the higher sought after and hard-to-get-into regiment of the king's musketeers is just kind of a temp job for him is so funny. character of all time. (also bazin wanting aramis to be a abbe so bad is so good)

Disclaimer that I was actually not reading the book, just giving a look and toying with the idea of reading it soon. In fact I was reading something else, but the chapter was so funny I've abandoned it and will probably start The three musketeers instead xD

Yes! Bazin was so funny. While reading him I couldn't help but be reminded of Smee wanting to leave Neverland and done with Hook's obsession for Peter Pan. Aramis dismissing being a musketeer is hilarious, but it becomes particularly funny after reading Cyrano de Bergerac, where Cyrano mentions being a musketeer wistfully a couple of times. While I was reading the play I kept thinking that Cyrano's aspirations were basically to be Aramis haha

The use of Latin each character (the curate, the Jesuit, D'Artagnan and Aramis) does was indeed very funny, as well as insightful. I ended up reading a paper on the command each of the four protagonists has of Latin, and I loved the comparison it established between Athos and Aramis. I don't have an opinion on this formed because I have yet to read the book, which is a good thing (it will hopefully keep me from rambling), but I found what I read super interesting.

The chapter was very funny, and I felt Dumas managed everything very well? I loved the writing itself. Every part of the chapter worked wonderfully as a whole to enhance every aspect, making the funny parts more fun and drawing a more clear lively depiction of the characters.

By that I mean, basically, that even from the initial interaction between D'Artagnan and the hostess in which he asks for Aramis and she goes "the charming hot guy?" we can see Aramis' hypocrisy and unsteadiness by a mile. It's hilarious to read the chapter and see how Aramis ends up contradicting everything he does or says, at times not even that long after saying it xD

Which takes me to the thesis itself. Honestly, I loved the topics. I know they're supposed to sound a bit ridiculous and funny, but I thought Dumas conveyed very well the air of some of those intricate questions of theology that seem trifle but have a lot of implications, and end up being of a very poetic nature (such as the question about how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, one of my all time favourite questions). I wasn't very interested on the topic of the hands until the Jesuit commented that sprinklers "simulate an infinite number of blessing fingers"; that's beautiful.

Now, the topic Aramis himself proposes is just gorgeous. The way he defends it with a syllogism is so clever of Dumas considering the link between theology and the development of Logic. Besides that, despite how unorthodox the topic may appear at first, as Aramis himself puts it, there is a lot of truth in what he says about the world being full of temptations and it being very much a sacrifice to leave it, and how there lies the devotional act. I ended up being very intrigued by the potential development of this thesis in a mix of appreciation of the world as God's creature, and thus the leaving of the world as an act of true love for God, of more importance; how instead of an easy surrender, the struggle and doubts are as much reflection of the condition of humanity's frailty as it is a more steady and full surrender to God.

The topic of Aramis' thesis is somewhat paradoxical yet sound, and reflects doubts, as well as an appreciation for the world, aesthetics and beauty; I think it reflects so much of what makes Aramis himself.

And then, again, there's the whole hypocrisy through the entire chapter (which is what makes it for me haha). The way he says he isn't defending a regret at renouncing the world while proposing the thesis, that the mere idea is sacrilegious, how he insists he won't miss it, that friends are but shadows and the world a grave, and still how his resolution wavers almost instantly with his "And yet, while I still hold to the earth, I would have liked to talk with you, about you, about our friends" (and what a tender shaking), only to end up asking D'Artagnan to tell him about the world in the last line? Hilarious. What an hypocrite xD

But how extremely charming and adorable, I must admit! I love how when D'Artagnan tells him "But how are you going to live while you wait for me? No more thesis, no more commentaries on fingers and blessings, eh?", Aramis smiles and replies "I shall compose verses". Truly one of the characters of all time xD

[zorilleerrant]

Ok you mentioned Alfred growing the coffee in a greenhouse by the shed and now I Must Know. (Mainly also because Alfred strikes me mainly as a tea drinker, and only resorting to coffee when there's a big bad and he's the only one available to run back end support) What does Alfred think of the coffee consumption of the Bats and Birds and Co.?

if you think of Alfred as going through Actual Butler School, as in many of his backstories, then he might well become enamored of coffee due to the elaborate (but convenient) preparations, cute servingware, and general relaxation of the social environments that serve someone a nice coffee. if you think of him going through the military first, it's pretty likely he would form an extreme emotional reliance on ration coffee to get him through the day.

personally, I think of Alfred as fae. (I mean how else are the entire grounds AND the entire house AND the entire Batcave constantly maintained in such pristine condition when we haven't seen any other employees or services in decades??) which means when he was young he didn't do any of those things, and instead it's a quirky human custom he picked up somewhere along the way. well before Bruce, but tea, coffee, hot chocolate, etc. are all equally esoteric to him. (cider and lemonade are probably much more natural.) but as a brownie, he enjoys putting cream in any drinks he can.

(this is how he can fit acres and acres of coffee in optimal growing conditions in a small room off the house. and why it never wilts or gets sick or gets eaten by wildlife. or gets found out.)

so Alfred really enjoys both tea and coffee (and hot cocoa on cold days or with younger members of the family) as a social ritual, and as a soothing way of caring for his family. there are so many steps that you just prepare and prepare, and don't have to stop to think, which keeps him from worrying overly much. there's also the fact that his book club tends to serve tea (or wine), and his cards and games club tends to serve coffee (or beer). he drinks whatever anyone else is drinking. he likes bonding that way.

with his charges, tea tends to be a way to push fluids when they're sick (and he's banned them from coffee). so sometimes tea makes him worry when he needn't. but it's also a nice bedtime drink when people are having trouble falling asleep, but only Claire is willing to accept that regularly, and only Duke when he knows he's having trouble falling asleep. (Luke comes by occasionally and is happy to have chamomile, which is a breath of fresh air.) Damian is the only one willing to sit down to tea with him, altho Jason used to take him to high tea if they were serving the right little sandwiches and cakes. (he might still do it but Alfred hasn't asked.) Cass really enjoyed high tea the one time they did it, and then asked if the tea might be replaced with coffee for an even better experience. Damian enjoys all sorts of tea ceremonies, thankfully.

coffee doesn't mean much by itself. he gets the need for caffeine, and it doesn't make him worry the way he did for a time, when he first discovered it was A Chemical, and hadn't yet studied what chemicals were, and that everything is a chemical, really. he likes it because it's warm, which makes him feel like he's taking care of people, and because there are steps involved, which makes it a Real Food in the way soda and energy drinks aren't. so he refills mugs and prepares thermoses and keeps the coffeepot always full. and he knows all the preferences of everyone he's ever met, because that's his magic power, and he loves using it for coffee, which makes people happy, whether they're family or guests.

he also does the tea and coffee services for any event he can get away with because then he gets to put Things in Places and make them all shiny and reflective.

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

Well no, I'm moreso making a comparison of intelligence and awareness. Though, what do you mean children don't murder other living beings? I assume there you mean killing other animals even when there's no need... There's always kids who squash or fry insects for the fun of it. I knew a kid in my primary school class who said he liked to crush bees because of the crunching sound they make. I never liked it and I'm sure many other people were disgusted by the thought as children as well, but it happened! Sometimes kids do messed up things and they may not even really know why, they may regret it when they're older, but it happens because our brains are only developing then

Actually, you know -- I hope you don't mind prev, this isn't directed at you at all, I'm just thinking out loud -- I've been kind of pondering this whole dolphin thing as of late. I've been really reflecting on how truly.. impossible it is to compare humans and other species. Even these sorts of "___ is as intelligent as a __ year-old human" comparisons. Dolphins do real messed up shit! And it seems they should understand the ramifications of their actions to some degree..?? But the thing is we just can't know! It's so hard to know how dolphins truly see the world, their brains are wired differently. The way our species came to be are completely different: we're grasslands-and-forest-dwelling omnivorous persistence hunters, they're oceanic obligate carnivore opportunistic apex predators. How do they view their prey, their fellow conspecifics, other animals they don't feed on like other dolphins? We can't know! We didn't evolve to be hypercarnivorous, or in the ocean. No doubt the way their brain views prey is fundamentally different than us viewing other species. Currently most humans don't even really live in "the wild", either, so the conditions of our everyday existence are even still so very different. It's just... man, what. I don't know, whales are no doubt extremely intelligent and resourceful animals and we need to respect them as such. But we don't know entirely why they do things, we don't know if they play with their food because their suffering and fear brings them joy, or just because they're predators and playing with their food brings them that sense of accomplishment and a feeling of "you did it, you hunted and did a good job and now you won't starve", sometimes it's a necessity as they'll cut up and slam octopuses to break them into smaller pieces, so they won't, you know, choke, or have a live octopus crawling up their throats and biting them... or maybe they just play with whatever is available in the ocean! Who knows if they know that the fish, mollusks and crustaceans they prey on are "conscious"??

I also feel like sometimes people overestimate or misunderstand them a bit? Dolphins will sometimes kill other marine mammals or sharks without consuming the corpse, apparently for the sadistic fun of it, according to some articles I've seen. I feel like they're missing a key context piece that dolphins are predator animals. Predators kill their competition sometimes! It makes their lives a bit easier to not fight for the same food sources. Even moreso, predator animals must hunt to live and therefore hunting and killing as an action is one that likely makes them feel good. It's messed up and frightening but it's not certain if they enjoy causing suffering, if they know they're causing suffering, if they keep partaking in unnecessary killing because they know it causes suffering in their victims and that makes them happy. They could view unnecessary hunting as practice for future kills, as an action as normal to us like drawing or going for a walk, they could even hunt because they're torturing other things but we can't really know. What are we to say of them, when we lack these sorts of instincts? Most people do not have the need to kill to live (though often animals die to sustain us) so these are different circumstances altogether

I don't want to get too heavy here so I'll leave it at that. Animals are complicated :s

Hot take, I really don’t think we should assign human morals onto animals and call them bad or evil. Fishblr has internalised this idea really well with sharks, and I think that’s good! Sharks don’t deserve all the fearmongering they suffer from in media. But… can we please remember to extend this to other animals too? Even to intelligent animals like dolphins (most commonly bottlenose dolphins) and orcas. It seems to be a counter to pop culture’s tendency to show dolphins as complete angels when they partake in some messed up things, but like…. Dolphins are still animals? They may be able to recognize themselves in mirrors and they may have language and culture and know how to use tools but their intelligence is still on the level of a human child (and how empathetic are those!!??). I see people talk about how evil dolphins are but I never see people talking about other animals the same way, like, why aren’t sea otters and their “evilness” the topic of discussion? :/