#also i do find it rather telling that whenever i try to delve into how the show structures things i talk about ava

[sisterdivinium]

Finding "the meaning" to a show that could have had up to five or seven seasons but was cancelled after the second is somewhat like trying to understand a novel composed of seventy chapters by having read only twenty — there is a whole wealth of information which we do not possess that could alter our reading of any given element or of the entire thing in itself.

Still, there are always patterns that weave a story into a cohesive unit and they can help us to better grope in darkness towards comprehension. One such pattern in Warrior Nun appears to be how the consequences to mistakes, "sins" or evil deeds committed by characters manifest.

Basic storytelling usually requires characters to act on something so that complications or resolutions may arise from their choices and move the plot forwards. In Warrior Nun, many of these actions are quite tragic in nature: Suzanne's arrogance and pride lead to the death of her Mother Superion; Vincent's allegiance to the higher power he believed Adriel to be inspired him to kill Shannon; Ava's flight from the Cat's Cradle ends up damning Lilith as she is mortally wounded and taken away by a tarask... All of these events have negative outcomes and heavy repercussions on all characters directly or indirectly involved. Something changes permanently because of them, be it in the world around them or within the characters themselves.

And yet, it would seem that all of these dark deeds not only move the story forwards but might also have overall positive results. We would have had no protagonist without Ava — and she would arguably never have received the halo to begin with had she not been murdered. What's more, on a personal scale, the horrifying crime she suffers is, in the end, the very thing that allows her a second chance in life, a new life.

An act of outside evil permits Ava to grow and develop, shows her a path she would not otherwise have found. Without her own season in some sort of hell, Lilith would not have been able to advance towards other ways of being and understanding beyond her very strict limitations. Vincent and Suzanne would not have embarked on their own journeys of enlightenment without having caused the pain they are responsible for.

Beatrice might have been paying for someone else's mistakes, but she, too, is given the chance to grow into herself through it. The afflictions that torment these characters advance the overall plot, but they also advance them, as individuals, as long as they are willing to learn and keep going despite the calamities large and small that they are faced with. Beatrice keeps going after parental rejection, Mary keeps going after losing Shannon, Jillian keeps going after losing her son (in part through her own actions, adding insult to injury)... Trouble and the adaptation that follows it, if one is open enough to learn from the experience, motivates the characters, propels them forward, teaches them.

The problem of evil has occupied the minds of many a thinker throughout the ages, given how the very existence of it, evil, might call into question that of God (a good, omniscient, omnipotent one, anyway). A common way of justifying suffering (and also God), then, is by claiming, as Saint Augustine, that "God judged it better to bring good out of evil than not to permit any evil to exist".

Now, it would be rather ridiculous to say of Warrior Nun that it follows in Leibniz's footsteps, also because this philosopher, expanding on the augustinian concept, attempted to defend the goodness of a real God with his "best of all possible worlds" while all we have is... Well, whatever/whoever Reya is.

But there seems to be an inclination towards some sort of optimism as a worldview nonetheless.

Betrayals reveal truth and grant knowledge (Vincent's culminates with the coming of Adriel, which allows us to know of the threat of a "Holy War" and thus prepare for it; Kristian's gives Jillian much needed insight, William's lights up the fuse for the fight to be taken more seriously...), crimes committed willingly or not open the way for Ava (Suzanne's killing of her Mother Superion causes the loss of the halo, which is transferred to Shannon, whose death opens the gates for Ava to walk through after being herself murdered by sister Frances)... The magnitude of these positive outcomes is perhaps not "balanced" when compared to the evil that brings them about, but there is still something to take out of the catastrophe.

However tragic the tones of a given event, the show itself appears to shun the predetermination that makes tragedy as a genre; if everything is connected, here it at least appears to not necessarily drag everyone into their horrible dooms.

What's more is that this lurking "optimism" matches really well with our own protagonist's personality.

And it makes perfect sense that Ava would do the best she could with whatever she is given.

Life for her, in the conditions she experienced after the accident, would have been unbearable without some sort of positive outlook on life. However deadpan, the joking and the "obscene gestures" and whatever other forms of goofing around beside Diego are a way of turning a portion of the situation in her own favour. Proverbial eggs have, after all, already been broken right and left — might as well make an omelette of whatever remains.

Humour is just another way of looking at the bright side of something, or, at the every least, of mitigating the utter horror it might bring. If the show allows for moments of lightness, if it lets us laugh, if it takes us through a perilous voyage which still bears ripe, succulent fruit instead of the rot of pessimism and its necessary contempt for humanity, it is because Ava herself sees things in this way. It isn't gratuitous or naïve in this case, but a true survival strategy, especially as it is confronted with the morbidity of Catholicism.

Here is a religion that soothes its faithful with the promise of reward in the afterlife — how else does one charge into battle against the unknown, risking one's own death along with that of one's sisters, without the balm of believing that we shall all meet again eventually, "in this life or the next"? How else does one come to terms with the ugliness and the pain of this existence if not by looking forward to a paradise perfect enough to make all trials and tribulations here worth it?

True nihilism would have annihilated Ava. Her present perspective is what avoided the abyss.

And there is nothing Panglossian to her attitude or what the show might imply by giving us her view on things. This isn't about "the best of all possible worlds", but of making the best of whatever situation we're in, of taking what we have and doing something with it, something good, something of ourselves. It isn't God making good out of evil, but our choices.

Killing innocent people and feeling no remorse will never be the best someone can aspire to do. Sister Frances, cardinal William, Adriel all learn this the hard way.

Those who do their best find that, somehow, they can move on from whatever it was that paralysed them. Ava, most of all, knows what it is to be stuck, frozen in place; she can never be the character who refuses to grow, even through pain, lest she condemns her spirit to the same fate her body is all too familiarised with. Those around her wise enough to let themselves be touched by her, by the dynamic power she carries, walk forth with her and live.

It says very little about "God" that Warrior Nun should adopt its heroine's views and seem "optimistic" as it progresses — but it speaks volumes about the values it presents for pondering, of the inspiration its protagonists provide, and of the multiple reasons why this is a story unlike most others.

[pinnedmother]

As a thought request for Messmer- making him a nice, warm dinner- he's so thin, its worrying, putting g together a nice meal that's easy for him to eat, and being happy to spend the time with him if he needs to go slowly. ;w; it can be comforting food or something to help him feel better and get some decent sleep, either way, that poor noodle needs a meal. ... Also some tidbits for his snakes so they don't constantly try to steal food off his plate! :>

Ahh, thank you so much for this cute request! This one turned out to be on a longer side, I hope it's alright. And I decided to entwine in it one of the headcanons that I love for good measure (younger, pre-crusade Messmer being much healthier and not as thin as he's now). Please enjoy~

A Dish for Serpents

Wandering the specimen storage day after day, researching its vast libraries and hidden secrets… It has become one of your prominent hobbies as of late. Somehow, whenever you begin to think you’ve seen it all here, a new room or passage comes to the view, enticing you to explore it.

One of those times, you encountered a relatively small chamber full of dusty scrolls – a usual sight in this place yet no less interesting. Rummaging through each and every scroll, you hope to soak the knowledge of old, forgotten times, remembered only by the decrepit parchments.

Most of them consist reports of finished tasks, scoutings, encountered issues; provision count and casualties estimation. A boring, mostly useless read, you are not even sure why would anybody keep it after all these years. As you yawn and stretch, your hand accidentally collides with a stack of scrolls and they fall one after another, rolling away as if to hide in shame of their sheer lack of value.

Still, you dive after them, unwilling to leave a mess behind. You get most of them in no time, with the last one laying near a slim wooden plank. Treading closer you realize it is no plank, but rather a framed painting. Gracelessly shoved in the corner and facing the wall for reasons only known by somebody as old as the scroll that lies beside it.

A thick layer of dust once coating the frame’s surface now lazily billows in the air, disturbed by your attempts at turning the piece around. It’s heavier than it looks. When it’s finally facing you, a profile portrait of a man greets you. He’s wearing a somewhat open, but fancy attire accentuating the muscle bulk of the naked shoulders. The ages ate away at the canvas from the top, swallowing half of the man’s face. And yet, you would recognize these flaming locks and ever-present serpents anywhere, even if the man is depicted younger and bulkier.

Messmer does look so much… healthier here. Was it an artistic frivolity of the painter? You compare the two versions of him in your head. Now that you think about it, he does look rather malnourished, albeit you always brushed it off as his usual and normal physique. What if it’s actually not? You can’t recall ever seeing him eat, and as far as you can remember he never brings up dining in the conversation.

Do demigods even require food..?

In following days, you try to come up with the most gentle, unobtrusive way of finding out, but to no avail. So eventually, eaten by curiosity, you bluntly ask a straightforward question.

“We… dost partake of sustenance, as any other wouldst.” He answers with a quizzical look. Messmer doesn’t ask you “why”, he already guessed and doesn’t wish to delve deeper in this conversation. You can tell he’s uncomfortable by the way he’s fidgeting with the ring on his middle finger.

Still, you persist: “How much have you eaten lately?”, “Plenty.” – Messmer’s answer short and dry. You squint your eyes doubting the truth of his words. He sighs and tiredly pulls his hands down. “Very well, I discern thine intent. I...doth at times neglect my sustenance, yes. Yet I assure thee, no hunger gnaws at my being and I am brimming with vigor. What more needeth I, truly?”

You scold him – as much as you can all things considered – Messmer frowns, but doesn’t interrupt nor dismiss you, his serpents hung their heads as if guilty. He sighs again once you finish and responds in a low but gentle tone: “So it is, mine cherished, I shall strive not to forget henceforth”. He brushes your cheek with the backside of his hand before turning and leaving both you and this conversation.

You don’t believe him, not truly. You could sense he merely said what you wanted to hear to rid you of your worries. However, arguing would be pointless. The action, on the other hand, is so, so much better. You head towards the kitchen right away. If you’d lovingly prepare a dish by yourself, Messmer would never refuse it.

On your way, you already chose the perfect dish for the occasion: a mutton stew. It is one of the most common dishes of the Lands Between, nothing fancy, yet it will certainly do. Better yet, it may induce a pleasant feeling of nostalgia in Messmer, perhaps it will in turn incentivize him to eat more.

You explain to the kitchen workers what you wish to cook and how you wish to do it. They leisurely shrug and give you space and ingredients, seemingly unbothered by your request. The stew is made with lamb, carrots, onions and potatoes, seasoned with thyme, salt, and pepper. You take a large skillet and small pieces of lamb meat, hoping and praying that the sheep of the Lands of Shadow taste the same as the ones in the Lands Between. Once the seasoning of the meat is done, you place it in the black, cast iron pot, alongside a tad of flour for thickness of the broth. Then, in go the rest of the ingredients, fresh and neatly chopped. Finally, you set it all simmer for several hours: you know not to rush things as the mutton gains tenderness with time.

Just before it is done, you sprinkle in a handful of herbs. You smile in relief: the dish turned out to be quite hearty. The delicious smell of it is overbearing, making your own stomach hungrily rumble as you fill a plate with the stew. You take two smaller bowls and pick out mutton pieces from the pot, hoping that Messmer’s serpents would enjoy the snack.

You bring it all onto a wooden tray, neatly placing cutlery on a folded serviette, and carefully, almost solemnly walk towards Messmer’s chambers. He greets you as he usually does, and then his eye falls on the tray in your hands and a soft steam coming from the plates. He is at a loss of words.

“I made it myself. Would you try it for me, please?” – your smile is warm enough to melt his heart and any doubts he had. When he states that “to feast within the throne chamber is of lowly breeding” you almost pout and prepare to give him another round of scolding, but he swiftly follows it by saying: “We shalt hie unto the proper chamber, shall we not?”.

He gracefully takes the tray from your hands and in his it looks comically small. Then, true to his word, he leads you to the dining room. It’s full of dimly lit candles all around, iron spikes under the golden drapery decorating each wall. Centermost is a long sturdy table, rows of wooden chairs on each side, vacant. Messmer takes a seat at the head of the table and you pick the closest chair to his right. He stills and takes a long – too long – look at the stew served before him.

“Would you like me to feed you?” – you ask half-jokingly. He gives you a stern side-eye with an arched brow. “No.” Reaching for the spoon he looks determined, but then stills again, hovering it just above the broth. He shifts his eye to you. “Whence is thy plate, mine dearest? Dost thou intend to sup upon these small ones?” he asks pointing the spoon at the bowls.

“Oh, no, it is meat I prepared in case your serpents would like a little feast of their own”. One of the snakes tried to wrap itself around your arm, but perked up after hearing your words. If Messmer himself barely eats then you can only imagine how little food get his winged companions. Well, not anymore, not with you around. “I will only dine after you have dined. That is my ultimatum”. Your words sound steely and decisive and he looks at you with concern. You decide to soften the edges: “so, please… Eat, Messmer”.

He returns his gaze to the stew. “It doth appear and scent delightfully. Hah…” He clanks the spoon on the wooden edge. “I cannot remember the last occasion wherein a dish was wrought solely for mine own self, save for those prepared by mine servants”. You grow tired of his evasion, but then he finally digs the spoon in the meal and tastes it. Blinks, then has another spoonful. “Tis…” Messmer starts before covering his mouth with a fist. “Tis most commendable”. You don’t even try to hide your proud and happy smile, he reflects it with a small one of his own and continues dining.

The serpents, as if waiting for their master to start on the dish, get to their respectful bowls and swiftly swallow the square-shaped mutton pieces. All three soon finish, and you look satisfied, unlike Messmer. The plates were truly quite small.

“Strangely enough, I am not sated” – he says with a sense of longing. “Well,” you respond playfully, “I wished to leave you craving more”.

He smirks. “Thou always do.”

[sharkiethrts]

Hiya everyone! new inquiry time: i wonder why not much people delve into Lady Cash? She is implied to be Robin's teacher when she was young and was even referenced in 'Concert For Two''s lightcone:

'"But the teacher thinks I'm not cut out for this…"'

She seems to be framed as an antagonistic character for now, with her seeming rather jaded and fastidious to the 'flaws' of today's singers. She even outright referred to Robin's letter to her as: 'a bucket of brainwashing balderdash', going on to say that it is 'what she's best at ' and that 'She's been like this since young'

I'm now wondering:

(a) Is Robin's character supposed to be framed as well-natured first hand but later on opening to reveal much more selfish and human traits that make her seem like a hypocrite?

(b) Or could this just be a show for how horrible the situation is in Penacony- where jealous stars try to tear each other down, despite one being a mentor and another being a student.

Adding onto that, could this be a hint for Sunday's less positive feelings towards Robin? (What if during the White Night trailer, it wasn't Sparkle that was acting as Robin and Sunday was actually rather lackluster around his own sister? Haha, maybe its not likely)

(c) Perhaps Sunday is jealous of her. Hence why in the 'concert for two' lightcone (once again), Robin questions whether that dream is still shared by the both of them- (LEAKS SKIP BOLDED) or perhaps that is due to Sunday being suggested to have been possessed by Ena (or Dominicus), hence becoming distant from her).

(headcanon, with no evidence whatsoever:) Could Sunday's love for sweet treats only be found in their childhood, where he no longers share the same love as he has been possessed while Robin remains unaware and tries to rekindle a bond with a brother she once knew?

Oh my, this could also work out with why Sunday looks rather bored around her (compared to their cutest lightcone and the Myriad trailer- where he seems to love her affectionately).

(d) maybe its just to show that Robin was surrounded by negative figures in her childhood that constantly tried to get in her dream's way. where her acts of kindness (her sending a thoughtful letter to check up on her teacher) is depicted as manipulation tactics,,,,

haha just rambling, PLEASE ADD ON! i'm suffering from a severe hyperfixation.

: I hope you don't mind me tagging you guys here, it's just that whenever I try to find Sunday content, I tend to gravitate to you guys! (please tell me if you do, I wouldn't mind at all- text me privately if you have to!)

@eternity-death @moonsaver @mewnbuns

Please tag anyone else that would be interested in this, I'm also rather interested in collecting sunday blogs :3

[koji-haru]

For the swap, AU do either Michael or Adam have any nightmares about the past after they fell. If so, how do they deal with them?

And if Adam were to tell the truth the whole truth about him time traveling and somehow found a way to make Michael believe him (I don't know seeing his past memories or something) how would he react to all of that? For the time traveling, AU?

Ngl, besides the world building part and some character development, I haven't really thought much of the future for the swap au. I wasn't really planning to write a full story on it, but I guess if people want and I'm still into hazbin by then, I might do it then? Anyway, I'm just mentioning this as a round about way excuse to the fact I don't have a cohesive answer to your question. Working with what I currently have as of now, I'd say both Michael and Adam did have nightmares of how they came to be in hell. Though of course, time would slowly alleviate the scars. Doesn't mean it's fully gone, however, as some things might be too much of a reminder.

I'll answer generally, instead of just how they would deal with nightmares, I'll list out some things they do when they do get reminded of the past. Though, I'll be a little vague since the events of the 'past' are things I'll eventually write about in the au, and obviously how they cope with it are related to what actually happened.

*A little spoilery below the cut. I try not to say much, but they could be read as hints so, be wary.*

I guess it depends on what the 'trigger' is. In general, after waking up from a nightmare, they would usually seek out one another rather desperately, wanting to be as close to each as possible, afraid to let go. So they would just cuddle, have a lazy day in their castle and do the most daily, mundane things together, momentarily cut off from the world outside. Other times, they would go outside and fly a great distance away from the city. The two have always enjoyed flying together, even back in Eden, and that sense of weightless freedom, the rush of wind going past them helps to lift their spirits. There are also gigantic monsters and odd creatures lurking on the edges of the ring, creatures Michael himself had to send away from Earth when he was 'cleaning' the place up to make it more hospitable for humans. So, sometimes they also go there to befriend the creatures, relating to them somewhat. You know, with the 'they made you in a certain way and yet they would call you imperfect and reject you'. Needless to say, it was awkward for Michael at the start.

Individually...

Michael always covers his hands, always wearing gloves and/or long sleeves. He doesn't like seeing them, makes him feel too guilty even though he doesn't regret what he did. *CW: self harm (?). I'm not sure if it counts, but I'll put a warning just in case* Though, sometimes the day just wouldn't work with him, and he ends up excessively washing and scrubbing his hands to vainly get rid of the sight. He'd like to carve it away, burn it off, but he had learned it doesn't help. *End of CW* Adam likes to kiss his hands ever so gently, and wash the stains away. No matter how those hands looked, they're always perfect and beautiful in Adam's eyes. They belong to his angel after all.

Adam has a tendency to isolate himself whenever he's down in the dumps, refusing to see anyone for days, except maybe for Michael; some habits simply wouldn't let go of him. It's irrational, he knows, but he simply he couldn't find it in himself to fully trust anyone ever again (again, with Michael and animals as the exceptions). On days like these, Michael would pamper him, getting and making all of his favourite things, bringing them to places he loves where there would only be the two of them and the natural 'life' of hell.

These are all I've got so far though, but even then, they're bound to change.

As for your second question, I won't answer it! Sorry! I'll delve into the topic in later chapters so just stay tuned, I guess?

[Off topic, but I'm glad you guys are interested enough to ask questions about my aus. I was sure there was only me and like 5 mutuals who are into guitarhero lol. I mean, I guess it'd be 6 now with you included anon, but hey! 6 is more than 5!]

[courtofmatchups]

I saw that your asks for matchups were open and I wanted to have one from Twisted Wonderland if you don't mind! 😊

Some basic info: In terms of mbti and enneagram, I'd be an INFP 9w1. I'm often told that I'm easygoing and chill seeing as how I don't seem to stress or revise that much in my studies as an I.T student(hehe whoops..). I'm also very quiet to the point where sometimes people mistake me for being mute until I clarify that I'm not, leading to some people lightly teasing me that it'd make their day if they could hear my voice since I barely speak(I do say "Hi" back to them)🙉 But I DO get talkative but it's only really around my close circle of friends even though I do have some friendly acquaintances here and there. I've also been described as being somewhat of a "sweet girl" or "goody-two shoes" since I try to do my best in treating everyone with patience and trying to do the right thing by them since I do find helping people out fulfilling(also probably because I tend to follow rules a lot but there are times where I do slip up 👉👈). As well as the fact that people have commented that they have rarely saw me angry and are always trying to see the other person's perspective on an issue, a "conscience angel" or "devil's advocate" if you will.

Hobbies: I like playing games on my phone and 3ds, drawing, reading, working out when I have the time and energy and I've only recently started practicing taekwondo!(I'm not good at it yet unfortunately, I'm a white belt for now..🙉) In terms of interests, I've always been interested in entomology, plants especially flowers 🌸, and just about the entirety of biology! So, expect a lot of nature documentaries whenever I'm watching something. If I'm not delving into biology, then I would be researching about parkour or martial arts since I've always been amazed at the different styles that are developed in these fields(and just how fluid and elegant the people executing these moves are✨).

What I don't like: I personally don't like sudden loud noises like popping balloons or people sneezing very loudly (the same cannot be said for let's say, a concert or dance party) I also tend to not like people who are impatient and are prone to complaining since I can't help but see them as childish or immature(sorry 😔) I tend to also not like people who get very cynical and pessimistic as although I do understand where they're coming from sometimes, I can't help but feel as though their cynicism can sometimes get in the way of making sound judgements since I'm a firm believer that being a hyper skeptic has it's own dangers of closing off to people and situations that could have brought you good if only you didn't let your hyper skepticism get in the way of taking that leap of faith🤷🏻‍♀️.

In a relationship: I'll be honest when I say that I haven't been in a relationship before so I'll start by saying that in terms of love languages, I like receiving words of affirmation and acts of service the most while acts of service and quality time are the main ways that I show my love for a person(romantic or not 😁). In a relationship, I prefer a more long-term commitment rather than a casual one since I do like the idea of getting married one day. I would like it very much if my partner was someone who's not overly clingy, as much as I love spending time with people that I care about, I'm still very much an introvert at heart and would still like to have my alone time 💅🏻💁🏻‍♀️. One undesirable trait in a partner for me would be someone who keeps me in the dark and doesn't talk to me about certain issues, as much as I dislike conflict and confrontation, I would rather prefer to face that than sensing that something is wrong and having no real way of helping because someone doesn't want to tell me what's bothering them(the anxiety kills me 😭🤧)

Appearance: I've no clue if this is of any help to you but, I'll include it just to give you a better visualization of what I look like 🤷🏻‍♀️

• I have long, black hair up to my hips I think

• I have round eyes with long lashes (people have commented that they wanna put mascara on me but I don't want to 🙉)

• In contrast to my hair, I have pretty fair skin so much so that I've sometimes been compared to Snow White

• Though I've only started working out recently, I've made a little progress in building muscles ����🏻😁

• not much of an appearance but people have described me as "cute" and "pretty" before 😅

• I'm a bit on the shorter side: 5'3 to be exact

• In terms of style, I tend to wear a combination of black cargo pants, a white woven belt, a coquette inspired beaded necklace, a pink/black top, a pink/black coverup sleeves, and some white and pink sneakers with black compression socks underneath. It's something very simple, practical, and stylish for me to wear given my hobbies and lifestyle since I still want to dress pretty girly and feminine while still maintaining my need for mobility and functionality ✌🏻.

That's all that I can think of! Thank you if you've somehow managed to survive my ramblings but it's just been so long since I've requested something so I want to make up for lost time I guess.. Anyways, Please have a good day or night! 😅💗

It seems to me, you've captured the heart of...

Kalim Al-Asim!

Hear me out: Kalim's bright and cheerful personality would complement your "sweet girl" and patient demeanor. He has a naturally uplifting aura, which would counterbalance any stress or negativity.

Kalim is very open with his emotions and thoughts. This aligns well with the user’s dislike of being kept in the dark and preference for clear communication in a relationship.

Like you, Kalim is known for his kindness and desire to help others. He would likely appreciate and reciprocate the acts of service and quality time that the user values as love languages.

Both you and Kalim have a laid-back and calm approach to life. Neither are prone to anger, and both prefer seeing the good in people. Though Kalim's optimism can become naivete at some points, so I hope you're aware enough to know when someone's trying to take advantage of him.

Kalim loves vibrant and lively environments, including lush greenery, which ties well with your passion for plants and flowers. Also Kalim is open-minded and would likely be fascinated by your interest in entomology and biology.

As for your relationship dynamics, Kalim's carefree personality wouldn't be overly clingy, respecting your need for alone time. Also Kalim's inability to hide his feelings would provide the open communication you desire in a partner.

Overall a happy relationship

[serenaberngraves]

this or that? tag game

I wasn’t tagged but I’m tagging along with @rownanisntwriting who left the floor open :) You can read their answers here!

historical or futuristic

The fantasy genre has been so dominated by Tolkien that I basically default to historical settings. It requires a lot of googling since I’m not the kind of person that really cares about history, oddly enough. I try to balance being somewhat accurate and hoping the reader is more invested in the events than the setting :’)

I think another part of it is that I don’t feel very confident in my ability to design futuristic technologies; whenever I try, I end up trying to draw my own blueprints and getting lost in the sauce. I find it more comfortable to rely on stuff that has already existed so I can focus on my blorbos

the opening or closing chapter

Oh my GOD how I love beginnings! I get to seduce the reader and oh how I like to play coy.

Closing chapters are wonderful in their own right, but it’s a goodbye. I poured my heart and soul into this piece and I never want it to end. Sometimes I actually cry

light & fluffy or dark & gritty

As much as I try to surround myself with nice, pleasant things, all of my work has to include a heavy dose of grit and strife to get that sweet, sweet payoff of relief.

Yes, I’m that guy who puts their blorbos in situations just for the narrative

animal companion or found family

You really made me choose.

It’s in my DNA to create a cast of characters that complement each other. There’s something so compelling about someone feeling like a black sheep, and then meeting people that show them love in a way they’ve never felt before. And that’s probably an insight about me but we won’t talk about that

horror or romance

Well I’m currently writing a romance…

Both genres can have a similar structure of suspenseful buildup. I just prefer the release of a romance climax hehe to a horror one. I feel that I can be far more self-indulgent, too >:}

hard magic system or soft magic system

There need to be rules

I often feel like soft magic systems are a copout but don’t take personally bc I know they have their place it’s just my silly little opinion

standalone or series

Whenever I start a standalone it always turns into something more whether I like it or not. I’m either too attached to the world or the characters — or both — to let them rest. I have to keep poking around in there…

one project at a time or always juggling 2+

Bruh I have so many. But I’m only actively working on one at a time.

one award winner or one bestseller

Awards don’t mean anything to me.

I’d much rather my work reach a wide audience that enjoys my story <3 also awards can’t buy me a new couch

fantasy or sci-fi

DRAGONS AND WEREWOLVES AND VAMPIRES AND HIPPOGRIFFS AND MAGIC ALL DAY BABYYYYYY

character description or setting description

I’m trying to be better, but describing people has always been tough for me. “He’s tall with blond hair and has the correct amount of limbs. Also he’s wearing clothes.”

Whereas describing a setting I find it much easier to delve right into the mood.

Realistically the two aren’t so different — something in my mind just blanks when I’m trying to tell you what a person look like. I think part of me wants the reader’s imagination to fill in the blanks; your image of the villain based on his demeanour, dialogue, and actions is the most compelling version.

first draft or final draft

Again — I have a hard time with goodbyes!

The first draft is filled with emotion: frustration, enthusiasm, novelty, disappointment, desperation, epiphany! The roller coaster is not an easy one to ride, but dear god it makes me feel alive

love triangle in everything or no romantic arcs

…I love a love triangle, but in everything? No, there are too many ideas and concepts to explore than has nothing to do with romance.

But I mean, it would be funny to insert a love triangle in every work. It would be a running gag. It doesn’t have to be the main characters — make it some tertiary characters. If I had a following, I would go feral waiting for my readers to guess who would be in the triangle this time

constant sandstorm or rainstorm

I think a constant rainstorm would be kind of dreary in a setting but having to think about how crusty a sandstorm is would make my skin itch. I couldn’t possibly endure

We’re at the end! I also don’t have anyone in mind to tag, so if you’re up for it tag me in your responses! :)

[ultravioletrayz]

it always makes my heart so happy whenever I'm referred to as a proper 'writer' 🥹

thank you @lxverrings for the tag!!

When did you start writing?

-I've loved to write since I was 6 or 7, but I only started writing fan fiction in december of last year

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

-I love classic literature, psychological thrillers and novels about female "insanity" lol. My favourite book is Animal Farm, though

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

-Um, I guess I follow some writers I admire and am inspired by, along with so many of my mutuals whose writing styles I have fallen in love with. I don't really care for being compared to anybody, though.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

-When it comes to my Tumblr, I write on my laptop in bed strictly. Otherwise I write in my journal. Also, I can't write during the day, only at night

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

-Usually thinking about a specific quality of a character and formulating a storyline around that. E.g, Miguel's stress will inspire me to want to comfort him and love him, or in a smutty sense, relieve that stress, thus creating a fic! In terms of my actual writing, it's the same, only I tend to do it with a concept or emotion rather than a character trait like i do for my Tumblr writing.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

-In my irl writing, I can never avoid delving into hunger, ambition, desperation... that sort of thing. My own yearning for things is the main reason I'm still alive, so when i write characters, I subconsciously give them that same characteristic. In my fics, I think I do that in a sense too, but in a more lustful way where I always make a character yearn for the reader an obscene amount.

What is your reason for writing?

-To give me something to do. I'm not a very happy person, and when I'm left alone with my thoughts, I often put myself at risk. So, writing online and interacting with you guys is another fun way of passing time and not having to think about life.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

-When people compliment the literary quality of my writing. Sure, we're all here to get off to some word porn, but when the underlying perciseness and technique that I (a nerdy academic bitch) am incapable of not applying to my writing is merely noticed... ugh it's so great.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

-Just some stupid, horny, 21 year old, broke uni chick who loves all of you

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

-I think attention to detail. I encapsulate every emotion, sensation, memory, and implication I possibly can in a story to try and capture exactly what someone is thinking and feeling. I don't let a single detail go to waste; it always serves a purpose in my writing.

How do you feel about your own writing?

-I don't love it, because I'm very much a perfectionist, but I can appreciate the fact that I'm a smarty pants and my thoughts are at least semi-coherent on the page :)

no pressure tags!! @risararelywrites @xluvablz @teenidlegirl @obxsprincess @fake-bleach

writer interview game

✎ 𖧷 · ° . ♡

Thank you for the tag Blondie! 🥰 @reverieblondie

When did you start writing?

-i wrote a bit in middle school but i consistently started writing fanfics in November '23!

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

-i like both reading and writing romance 🥰

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

-man I don't know 😭 but if i can come close to emulating the talent that my moots possess then that's a huge compliment!

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

-pretty much wherever and whenever I can 😭 I write in the notes app on my phone lolol. and i mostly write in my bedroom.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

-ovulation week lol and caffeine 🥰 definitely gets the creative juices flowing for me.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

-i write about rain a lot in my fics. I also make nature references. I try to use a lot of poetry devices bc I just like that style of writing. Also I'm guilty of being very self indulgent at times.

What is your reason for writing?

-i use it as a coping mechanism and to escape the stresses of life lol. People seem to like it and I've met lots of lovely people in the process. Purely for fun and self enjoyment with hopes to publish maybe one day if I'm lucky enough and dedicated enough to write that much

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

-lol I love feral reactions and silly comments in the tags. Also when people tell me specifically what they loved about my fics or lines that they enjoyed are really nice to receive! 🥰🫶🏽

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

-hmmm not sure! I guess I just hope that people enjoy my writing and also think I'm a pleasant person aside from my writing endeavors! And also don't mind that I'm kind of all over the place and am kind of slow and sporadic with my updates. 🫶🏽 My hyperfixations have been ebbing and flowing and so my work depends a lot on where my mind is at.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

-hmmm not sure! I think I do a pretty good job with descriptions and details! I think I capture emotion pretty well.

How do you feel about your own writing?

-Some days I feel great! Other days not so much. I think my works have been flopping a lot lately and so I'm in my "writing for myself" era and just write whatever makes me happy at the moment and try to ignore the numbers. But it's hard sometimes 😭

no pressure tags: @mrsoharaa @sassypossumm @slushycoookie @muchosbesitos @miguel-ohara-wifey @yougavemeyourheartyouknow @actuallysaiyan @anonimusunnoaniswriting @swiftyangx12 @catladyoftheyr

@lxverrings @improbable-outset

[hyunsuks-beanie]

Relativity

Pairing: Husband! Jake x student! reader

Genre: Smut with hints of fluff

Content Warnings: Married au!; young marriage au!; unprotected sex

Word Count: 2.27k words

Mellow speaks: I'm sweating this was way too hot to write!! Hope you guys like it, because I definitely am in love wirh husband! Jake now. Also, I'm just asking, but is it weird that I was actually thinking about this dream I had of Kento while writing one particular part of the story lmao?

Tagging: @sunshinelixie-lee @ivyvesisi @sweethyuka

"In here!," you call out from inside the bedroom, your voice carrying over to your husband as he steps into the apartment. He can't help but smile to himself at the slight hint of annoyance that laces your words, his feet carrying him over to you as he drops his jacket onto the couch.

Just as he had expected, the second he steps foot inside the room, he's greeted with an irritated huff from you, your physics homework laying sprawled out across the tiny table as you sit there, hand resting on your head. "Difficult?," he asks, his eyebrows raised in amusements as he leans over your shoulder, his face close to yours.

"Honestly though, why is relativity so hard to understand?," you groan, turning your head around slightly to place a kiss to his lips. He only giggles at that, sitting down in the chair next to you as his arm gets wrapped around your shoulders. "Take a break, maybe you'll get it then," he offers, squeezing your left arm and kissing your crown, eliciting a soft hum from you.

"How was your day though?," you ask in return, your head falling onto his shoulder as you cuddle closer to him. "Oh you know," he replies, shrugging gently as he delves into a story of what happened at his office that day. Soon enough, the room fills up with your laughter, the smile on his face growing brighter as he spends time with you after a long day at work.

Having married Jake at a young age sure caused you to face a few hurdles in life, with him having to shoulder the responsibility of two people as you strived to continue your studies. You know it must be hard, but never once has your husband tried to stop you from chasing your dreams or forced you to support him in meeting the expenses.

And you simply can't thank him enough for all that he's done and is doing for you, your tears threatening to spill every time he tells you how your dreams are his dreams. "All I want is for you to be happy," he always says, urging you to never let go of the things that make you happy.

That's pretty much the reason why want to give it your all whenever you open your books, the thought of him being proud when you finally grab your degree spurring you on in your efforts. And you do, most of the time anyway. But when it comes to physics, the odds are......rather against you.

Jake of course, knows this, and that's why he's always ready to lend you a hand when you don't understand a concept, having had a scientific background himself. Still, you often find yourself not too keen on asking him for help, reluctant to add even more to the pressure he's already under. Just having him by your side is more than enough, you think to yourself as you relish this rare moment with your partner.

But just then, you're snapped out of your thoughts as Jake calls, "Earth to Y/N," his fist flying to your head as he knocks on it. "Stop that!," you retort, a smile on your face as you look up at him. "Well then listen to what I'm saying!," comes his reply as he gives you a side-hug. Settling down once again, he repeats what he was saying earlier. "I went through your homework, and I think I can help you with it," he says, picking

"You don't have to," you're quick to say, snatching your notebook away from him. "But I want to," he quips, snatching it back and raising it above his head so that you can't reach it. "Come one babe, you know you need my help," he whispers, a mischievous glint in his eyes. You try to grab the notebook, only to give up soon enough. "Fine," is all you say, deflated as he picks up your pen and starts teaching you.

It starts good at first, with him helping you stop yourself from despising Einstein as he explains the basics to you. "So what I'm trying to say is that even though special relativity is called special relativity, it actually has a more generalized approach," he says for the third time that evening, hoping to get his point across.

Lifting your head up, you're about to rebutt his statement yet again, only to find your counter flying out your head the moment you catch sight of his bottom lip, nestled softly between his teeth. He looks so gorgeous like that, the expectant expression on his face as he looks at you making him appear insanely hot.

It's then that the you notice the beads of sweat dotting his forehead, his hair just a little wet because of it. Your gaze slowly travels from his face to his throat, your eyes widening when you notice his collarbone peeking out from under his shirt, the top button undone. And you don't stop there, soon shifting your focus to his arms, his biceps ripping from under the rolled-up sleeves. So pretty and so sexy, made to choke you.

You shake your head, blinking a couple times as you try to get your bearings. You love Jake Sim to bits, and you're sure the world knows that. But if there's one thing you absolutely hate about him, it's the grip he has on your thoughts, and on your very soul. He hasn't even done anything, and yet, you could make a list of all the things you want to do to him.

Sighing, Jake waves his hand in front of your face, hoping to catch your attention. His action causes you to come back to your senses, but only just, because while he was expecting you to throw another question his way, all that skips past your lips is a "Could you repeat that?" This, of course, catches him by surprise, making him subconsciously lick his bottom lip as he nods his head.

And so he begins explaining again, appearing to be blissfully oblivious to the fact that you're not hearing a word he says, your eyes focused solely on those plump lips of his, your mouth watering at the thought of having them against your skin. It's funny, you know. But still, you can do nothing to stop the desire that's growing in the pit of your stomach, your thighs being pressed together to keep the wetness from seeping through your panties.

Your husband is too hot to handle, and right now, you find yourself hanging from a precipice. You need him, but at the same time, you don't want to look as if you're just doing it to skip homework. So you try to keep it in, biting your cheek to stop yourself from moaning at the mere thought of him being inside you. But it's hard, and it only gets harder when he starts moving his hands around as a way to emphasize his words, the muscles in his arms flexing and rippling.

In the end, you can't keep it in, the way the complicated scientific terms roll of his tongue finally making you snap and say something that has both his and your eyes going wide in surprise. "Shove your tongue down my throat," you all but whimper, your words causing a surprised gasp to escape Jake. He looks so innocent in that moment, like a deer caught in red lights. A sharp contrast to how sexy he looked barely thirty seconds ago.

It makes you want to grab him by the collar and kiss him. And that's exactly what you do, your lips getting smashed against his as you pull him closer, finally tasting him. He's shocked at first, but it doesn't take Jake long to let out a moan into your mouth as he eagerly responds to your initiative. Next thing you know, you're sitting on his lap, straddling him as your tongues move in sync, your lips molding together like puzzle pieces.

Your hands instinctively get nestled in his hair, tugging on his soft locks as you nip on his bottom lip. His hands, meanwhile, come to rest on your butt, squeezing it gently but firmly through the fabric of your shorts. This elicits a moan from you, making Jake smirk into the kiss because he's such a sucker for the sounds you make. The kiss is heavenly, your homework long forgotten as you take it upon yourself to memorize every inch of his skin.

You begin grinding against his crotch, slowly rolling your hips as you seek some friction. He really is shoving his tongue down your throat by now, almost making you gag as his grip on your body tightens, a silent signal to speed up. You do as told, moving your hips around in circular motions as you feel him grow hard under you. Wanting more, you let your hands fall to his collar, sliding down his shirt as they undo his buttons along the way.

He pulls away, attempting to take the fabric off his body to give you more access. But you grip his wrist, hooded eyelids covering your blown-out pupils as you say, "Keep it on. Looks sexy on you." Jake can only grin at that, letting go of his shirt and dipping his hands to the fabric of your T-shirt instead. Catching your lips in another kiss, all he mumbles is "It's only fair," before pulling the clothing over your head and throwing it to the floor.

The next few minutes are a blur, your bra meeting the same fate as your T-shirt while Jake's hands massage your breasts. His lips are hot against your neck as you continue to grind against him, a "Choke me," slipping past your lips as you fist up his vest, moving it upwards till it's a crinkled mess near his collarbone. "Whatever you want baby," comes his reply, the loud moan that you let out when his hand finally makes its way to your throat like music to his ears.

You shift even closer, your breasts now rubbing against his chiseled chest as your rake your nails up and down his torso. He continues to choke you, cutting your oxygen off little by little while his free hand dips down, rubbing your clothed heat. You keep at it for a while, your moans growing louder and your touches growing filthier as arousal pools between your legs.

At long last, desire overpowers your senses, making you pull away and stand up in front of your husband, his mouth ajar as you get rid of your shorts and panties. "Need you in me," you whine, leaning against the desk and spreading your legs as you slowly rub your pussy, giving him a show.

And the groan that escapes Jake right then is nothing short of animalistic, his pants and boxers being ripped down his legs before his fingers get wrapped around your wrist, tugging on it super hard as he pulls you close. You can't help but giggle at his eagerness, pushing his chair away before bending down, your butt cheeks on full display as you place a kiss to his tip.

This has Jake squirming, his teeth digging into his bottom lip yet again as he grabs your wrist once more. Placing your free hand on his shoulder, you finally straddle him again, your legs on either side of his own as you lower yourself down, hissing softly as his cock enters your hole. You stay like that for just a moment, trying to get used to his size ad he bites down on your neck, sure to leave a mark.

You start moving, your hips slapping against his as his tip moves in and out of you. The room soon fills up with the sound of slapping against skin, your pace increasing as your lips meet Jake's once again. Bouncing up and down, you make sure to have him hit the back of your pussy every time before pulling out, his fingers rubbing circles around your clit.

He fills you up like a key fits into a lock, your walls stretching and making you forget everything except his name. And so, his name becomes your chant, interspersed only by a string of profanities as he takes control. He continues to move his hips, pushing into and pulling out of you like clockwork. You bury your face in his shoulder, your eyes closing in pleasure as you nip at his skin, your climax close at hand.

And Jake knows that, speeding up even more as he his nails dig into the flesh of your butt. One thrust, then another one, and then another. Then three more in rapid succession, and then a last one, hitting all the way back and making your eyes roll back as you let out an unearthly moan, your juices spilling out of you and coating his dick. He groans at the sensation, copying you and burying his face in your shoulder, his own orgasm hitting him like a truck at last.

Your body goes limp in his grasp, both his and your chests heaving as you nuzzle your face into him. Taking a second to catch your breath, you ask, "Aren't you gonna lecture me for wasting the time I should have spent studying?," causing Jake to chuckle as he holds you tighter.

"I trust that you know studying is just as important as having fun," he replies, a teasing hint to his voice. "It's just a matter of relative preference."

[caelestis-composition]

killshot anon! YEAH i totally agree w/ your view on kaeya. it's so weird to me that people will blame him for his role in a situation he was forced into as a child through no choice of his own. that itself had to be traumatic, not to mention everything that happened later. i hate when people say he's untrustworthy - like yeah, he's lied, so has everyone? it's clear he does it mostly to protect himself. not to mention that (& sadism) can be symptoms of trauma. kaeya deserves nothing but happiness

take a seat folks it’s time for a “brynn should’ve been an english major” lesson! today we’re gonna learn some literary theory; specifically, we’re gonna apply psychoanalytical trauma theory to kaeya’s backstory and current character. killshot anon i bet you never thought this would result in a whole ass essay.

disclaimer one! you are allowed to dislike kaeya! i am not saying you need to like him or his character, you’re entitled to your opinion and i’m not here to change your mind.

disclaimer two! i am in no way an expert and this is all for fun! this is just my silly little analysis of one of my favorite characters as someone who’s studied literary theory and rhetoric and can also apply personal experience. seriously analysis is like a hobby to me and this is just an excuse for me to ramble about kaeya.

disclaimer three! this contains lots of spoilers! basically for everything we know in-game, general knowledge as well as stuff from his voicelines and character story. don’t read this if you don’t want spoilers.

since this is going to be filled with spoilers and is about to get really long, everything will be under a cut. for those who wanna read my dumb super informal essay: enjoy!

final note: yeah this is over 2000 words long can you tell i like analysis

⭒

let’s start by getting a quick rundown of trauma theory out of the way. to begin, what is “trauma?” in this case, trauma is going to refer to an experience that greatly affects and changes one’s life; attitudes, memories, behaviors, mental state, etc. while not all changes may be bad, per se, the overall effect of trauma is generally a negative one, which is why it’s so significant. literary trauma theory, then, explores these changes and the impact of trauma in literature. it analyzes the psychological and social effects of trauma, explaining what those effects are and why they happen. in the context of a specific character, trauma theory breaks down said character’s behaviors, feelings, and general mentality in relation to their past experiences; trauma theory hopes to explain to others the reasons for why a character may act or feel the way they do, all based upon the character’s experiences, particularly traumatic ones. our character today is the lovely kaeya alberich, with the “literature” being genshin impact. i’ll be referencing kaeya’s wiki page to ensure i get all details correct for his character story and voicelines.

it would be good to review kaeya’s backstory before delving into the actual analysis. though we don’t know much about his life before living in mondstadt, we’re told he was sent as an agent of khaenri’ah. and by “sent,” i mean his biological father abandoned him in a completely unfamiliar land to serve khaenri’ah’s interests and fullfil his mission—what this entirely entails hasn’t been revealed. mondstadt, however, welcomed kaeya “with open arms when they found him.” crepus ragnvindr took him in as his adopted son, with diluc as his adopted brother. kaeya and diluc were “almost like twins,” so close they “[knew] each other’s thoughts and intentions without a word.” he’d began a new life in mondstadt, one surrounded by friends and family that loved him; one that was completely shattered by crepus’s death. kaeya arrived at the scene of the disaster, and was led to believe diluc was the one who killed their father to “set his father free” from the effects of his delusion. there’d always been one big question in kaeya’s life: if it came down to it, who would he support? the nation that abandoned him, but he still felt loyal to, or the nation and family that took him in and really loved him? overrun with guilt, kaeya confessed his purpose to diluc, sparking a fight between the two brothers. in this fight, kaeya receives his cryo vision. though both brothers stepped away alive, they’ve never been able to make peace with one another. now, kaeya is the eccentric and charming cavalry captain of the knights of favonius; a man who gets his way by using any means necessary, regardless of whether or not it seems right.

kaeya’s not evil; he’s morally ambiguous, and that stems from what appears to be a general distrust of others. his life is one shrouded in secrecy. from the moment he stepped foot into mondstadt, he was surrounded by secrets. even now, he doesn’t talk about a lot of things, namely his past, vision, and feelings. though he’s always willing to get information out of others, kaeya never reveals anything about himself. he repeatedly tells the player they can confide in him, but whenever you try and pry into his life, he deflects your questions with some sort of witty comment or flirty remark. anything he does reveal is vague, or spoken in some sort of “code.” for example, his “interesting things” voiceline. he tells us about the owl of dragonspine, how it “seems to look right through you, while letting go of none of its own secrets,” and then tacks on a “quite fascinating, don’t you think?” it seems like an awfully accurate parallel to himself; kaeya does all he can to get information from others, but never gives anything about himself. now, this whole thing—his relationship with diluc falling apart and his need for secrecy—could have probably been avoided if he had just come clean about his mission years ago. so why didn’t he? to start, kaeya was a literal child. not only are children unable to properly tell the difference between right and wrong, but they’ll also typically follow their parents’ orders blindly. kaeya had just been abandoned, and he wouldn’t want to risk being cast out by mondstadt as well if he came clean right away. you see, there’s this thing about trauma, something that trauma theory states. traumatized people feel a sort of shame or guilt regarding their traumatic experience; they’ll keep quiet because they don’t want to cause problems or bother others with their issues. of course kaeya wouldn’t tell the truth about his past, he doesn’t want to destroy the genuinely loving relationships he’d built in mondstadt. his fight with diluc only proves what he was afraid of: if he’s honest, he’ll be abandoned again. and if kaeya’s used to all the lies, why should he bother changing?

another thing, if he’s not going to tell the truth, then why would he have initially gone along with his father’s plans? again, he was a child. he really had no choice, and was forced into a very wrong and cruel situation. there’s a good explanation for this, too, which is also stated in trauma theory; traumatized people will still do their best to please their abusers. especially if said abuser is a parent, that will drive traumatized people to work even harder to please them. although his father hurt him by ruthlessly abandoning him, kaeya still sought to make him and his homeland proud. he was willing to be used as a tool for their gain; that is, until he found people who actually cared about him. he was an impressionable child, of course he’s going to obey orders. but as he gets older, he feels torn. does he serve those who abandoned him, or those that took him in? his father—and arguably, khaenri’ah as a whole—hurt him, sure, but he still feels some loyalty and connection to his former home. instead of revealing anything, he lets the situation play out. that way, he can’t be blamed when things fall apart.

the thing about claiming he’s untrustworthy is that hardly anyone in-game believes that. he’s adored by the older folks in mondstadt, and foes and allies alike find him easy to talk to. despite seeming lazy and uninterested in work, kaeya takes his job very seriously. in fact, his story states that crepus’s death was the “first and only time kaeya failed in his duty.” the “only time” is especially important, because it signifies kaeya still fulfills his duties successfully. he’s had a total of one slip-up, and hasn’t failed since. no, kaeya is not untrustworthy. rather, kaeya finds everyone else untrustworthy. it’s not unlikely that this is a direct consequence of being abandoned as a child. although it’s been established that kaeya and diluc were very close as children, when crepus dies, kaeya assumes diluc is the one that killed him. in order to jump to such an extreme conclusion against someone he was so close to, there had to be some underlying sense of distrust. furthermore, kaeya expresses feeling as though he doesn’t belong anywhere. he was abandoned by khaenri’ah, and then worried he wouldn’t be accepted by mondstadt. he is, but there’s still that worry. if you place him in your teapot as a companion, he tells you that your home feels like someplace he belongs, following it up with a “heh, who’d have thought…” kaeya still feels as though he doesn’t belong in mondstadt; despite the fact that he’s a high-ranking knight of favonius and rather popular, he still feels like an outsider. he doesn’t trust that anyone actually wants him around, and he finds joy in testing peoples’ trustworthiness. it’s noted in his story and through his voicelines that the beloved cavalry captain has a rather sadistic nature. he likes putting people into difficult situations, to see what decisions they will make. he does this to both opponents and allies, testing to see who’s going to back out and who’ll keep fighting; in the sake of allies, who can he trust? or who will turn tail and abandon their teammates at the slightest hint of danger? i mentioned it previously, but kaeya doesn’t care what measures he has to take so long as his job gets done and he gets the answers he wants. it’s a sort of self-preserving mindset, putting himself above the safety of others. kaeya’s trying to protect himself, which makes sense with all he’s been through. he doesn’t want to be hurt, and instead finds pleasure in threatening harm upon others. it’s twisted, sure, but it’s because he can only trust himself in a world that he believes is out to get him. he’s got as many enemies—if not more—as he does allies; of course kaeya focuses on protecting himself first, whether physically or through keeping his secrets, well, secret.

his most obvious traumatic effect is definitely his alcoholism. but he uses it as a distraction, not just to wallow in self-pity. this is seen again in his story, particularly in story 3. it’s found that when his favorite drink, death after noon, is out of season, mondstadt’s crime rate is decreased drastically. at face value, this just means kaeya spends more time working when death after noon is low in supply. but kaeya doesn’t skip work to go to taverns; it’s already been established he takes his job very seriously, so this means he actually patrols and tracks down threats while off work when he can’t indulge in his favorite alcoholic drink. he doesn’t get drunk simply because he’s depressed. if he did, there wouldn’t be a drop in incidents when death after noon is out of season. no, kaeya uses both the alcohol and fighting to distract himself. after all, it’s a little hard to think about feeling sad when you’re either drunk out of your mind or fighting for your life.

despite being so secretive, kaeya gives us glimpses of his true emotions from time to time. as previously mentioned, his flirty attitude is nothing more than a mask to hide how he really feels; and kaeya is terribly, terribly lonely. that may be why he seems so extroverted. constantly being around people should, logically, drive away that feeling, but it doesn’t work like that. when he talks with the player, he frequently expresses disappointment when you have to leave. each time, though, he dampens the weight of his words with playful or flirty language. he’s lonely, but doesn’t want you to know that, like he’s afraid of asking you to stay. he takes the seriousness of his feelings, and basically bends it into some sort of lighthearted joke. kaeya hides his true feelings—negative feelings, to be exact—so that he doesn’t bother anyone. which is, again, something that happens with traumatized people. he displays that hesitance to reveal his true feelings, because there’s a shame or guilt that comes with his past. he doesn’t want to bother others or hold them back, so he puts on a smile and amps up the charisma. one other very important thing—but very small detail—i would like to note is his feelings toward family. his fell apart not even once, but twice, and kaeya still holds familial relationships in high regard. we know he doesn’t exactly care how he goes about getting his work done. he doesn’t pay attention to what’s “right” or “wrong,” so long as he gets what he needs. but one of his informants, vile, notes that the cavalry captain has one exception: he won’t work with those who threaten others’ families. in fact, kaeya claims those who do should be hunted down and destroyed. even though his own families have caused him so much pain—and he ended up estranged from both—he still understands the importance of having people who love you in your life. because he didn’t get that.

kaeya’s not evil. ultimately, as a knight of favonius, his goal is to protect others, because no one was there to protect him. and because no one was there to protect him, because he’s been hurt time and time again by people who were supposed to love him, kaeya has taken to protecting himself. he hides any and all negative feelings with a charismatic, friendly façade, because he thinks it’ll drive away his persistent loneliness. any “bad” actions of his were hardly his fault; he was forced into a life of secrecy and lies, and then abandoned by the first people who truly loved him. kaeya’s a multi-faceted, tragic character, one that toes the line between good and evil, and that’s what makes him so interesting.

[liaswritesrobots]

Hello can I please get a romantic matchup for RID 2001 and MTMTE? (Or if not RID, then 2 matchups for MTMTE?) Thank you very much in advance and I absolutely love your work!

At first glance, I’m rather shy, reserved, and introverted. I try to be as polite and nice as possible to people I first meet, but I can’t help but worry over whether I’m coming off as too rude or if I’m over-sharing due to my lack of social skills and my horrible social anxiety. However if someone somehow manages to get me to open up, I’m much more talkative about whatever’s on my mind, whether it’s sharing something I learned sometime in the past or something that I’m interested in. But as much as I enjoy talking about what’s on my mind, I’d hate for it to be a one-sided conversation unless someone truthfully expresses that they’re fine with just listening. I’m fine with talking about anything as long as it doesn’t delve into anything either of us are uncomfortable with. While I don’t seem all too outgoing, it’s because I don’t bother to spend time with people I dislike unless I ultimately have to, so if it’s to spend time with someone I’m fond of, I’m willing to go outdoors or out on a drive with them. Unfortunately I’m sensitive, and my self-esteem never existed in the first place, nor do I really share how I’m really doing with most people unless I completely trust them. Some people have described me as thoughtful since I always ask how people are and how their day has gone. At times, I draw art for my friends or pick up snacks/drinks I know they like from the store. In my free time I enjoy drawing digitally, listening to music, playing video games, and writing stories.

I match you with...

Prowl (RID2001) and Rung (IDW)

Neither mind that you're shy and reserved at first and won't push you out of your comfort zone. They like how polite you are and reassure you that they don't find you rude at all. They love it when you open up to them and become more talkative and thoughtful, and neither mind just listening to you if they don't have anything they want to talk about at the moment. They're also very good listeners and will memorize lots of little details of the stuff you tell them, especially about your interests. They also try to help you with your anxiety and low self-esteem, trying to reassure you whenever they can. They don't mind that you're not too outgoing either, as they prefer a day indoors with you anyway. They're honored if you open up to how you feel with them and do their best to make sure they never break that trust. They love to see your art and writing when you share it with them, especially when you make something for him. They also love to listen to music with you and watch you play your favorite video games as they ask you questions about it.

Other possible matches: Optimus Prime (RID2001), Sky-Byte (RID2001), Railspike (RID2001), Ultra Magnus (IDW), Red Alert (IDW), Swerve (IDW)

[yelenasdog]

the pillowtalk of a pessimist (spencer reid x fem reader)

genre: fluff with a millisecond of angst

summary: pillowtalk takes an interesting turn for spencer at the mention of the harsh realities of his work.

words: 1.3k, she’s a shorty.

warnings: nsfw themes (nothing smutty, it’s just implied and also directly stated that they slept together), typical criminal minds violence + death, and maybe cursing? idk. 

a/n: btw this isn’t the fic i was ranting on about that i’m writing, she’s still in the works. also! this could be an x oc or anybody bc i didn’t use y/n if you would prefer to read it as such.

🂦∙🂦∙🂦

A pale stream of moonlight shone through the open window of apartment 23, the home of Doctor Spencer Reid. It illuminated a small section of his bedroom, specifically on one of his many floor to ceiling bookshelves, a beacon of knowledge that was there 24/7 for the taking.

The gold engravings on the spines of his many reads shimmered, a beautiful contrast to the dark mahogany the shelf was made out of.

The room smelled like a mixture of his cologne, her perfume (Chanel no. 5, specifically), and the results of their previous affairs that lingered in the crisp air of the night.

She took a deep breath, settling down further into the white duvet, pulling it over her bosom in response to the chilly temperature. The dark green walls of the room welcomed and calmed her, overwhelming the girl with a wave of serenity that could only be brought to her by him.

He quickly took note of her unsteady breathing and shift in position, immediately jumping to action. He pulled her closer by her shoulders with his strong arms, eliciting a squeal from her and a chuckle from him, more so at her reaction than the move itself.

Her head laid on his bare chest, her hair splayed out with half of it residing on his pillow, the other half on his bicep. She could have appeared to be an angel, although in his eyes, she truly was.

She rested her hand on the left side of his chest over his heart, her fingernail ghosting shapes on his tanned skin. Circles, squiggly lines, even abstract faces.

“How do you do it?”

Her voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. If his hearing wasn’t so acute, he was sure he would have missed it. This would have saddened the genius greatly, as he valued everything she had to say with a burning ferocity, and even one word lost would be a shame.

“What?”

He was confused by the nature of the question, attempting to search every corner of his brilliant brain for what she might have been referencing. Was it an equation? No, she hated math. Perhaps the way he so effortlessly could play any instrument because yet again, math. He decided that couldn’t be the subject at question either, she played better than he did, glorious melodies flowed from her fingertips. So the doctor was truly stumped.

The answer was simpler than he had imagined.

“Your job.”

With those doe eyes he was so fond of, she looked up, meeting his own glance.

If the term “heart eyes” was able to be personified, Spencer would be the guy to personify it whenever his eyes landed on the one in front of him.

“What do you mean? I get up in the morning, drink some coffee, and get to it.”

She giggled, but the sound he loved so much ceased with her pout.

“That’s not what I mean, Spence. How do you go on everyday, seeing body after body,” she trailed off, obviously distraught. Spencer wrapped his large hand tighter around her, placing his chin on her hairline.

“How do you consistently manage to look at these victims, these people, with lives that they never got to finish living-“ A tear slipped down her cheek, she bit her bottom lip, tasting her own salty droplets on her tongue. She sniffled, burying her head further in his neck with what he presumed was shame.

“And not break down when you do.” Her voice was muffled, but the emotions she felt were evident nonetheless.

He took a moment to carefully articulate an appropriate response. The gears in his mind turned ever so diligently, finding a solution to dry her tears.

“It’s not much different than what I initially said. I get up in the morning, drink some coffee.”

He pushed a hair away from her face, admiring her distinct features as he often did. She looked up, moving her left hand to trace his sharp jaw as he sat in thought.

“And I realize that these people that are now dead, are a part of the hundreds, of throusands, of millions of people that die every year. It’s a part of life, what gives it meaning.”

She gave a dry, humourless laugh.

“What, you don’t have a specific statistic for that?”

“Oh, I do, but I don’t think you want to hear it.” He tilted his head, weighing the option of disclosing the information but deciding against it.

“But the bottom line is, they have families. Families that are grieving, and hurting, and needing answers and justice. I cannot do my job and give them the closure they deserve if I’m staying focused on my own emotions and delving deep into who the victims were, rather than how to catch those responsible for hurting them.”

She moved on to her back, stilling managing to keep her eye contact with Spencer.

“But you’re a profiler! That’s what you do! You’re supposed to, what did you call it, ‘delve deep’ into who they are.”

“Pretty girl, are you trying to tell the one with 3 doctorates how to do his job?”

She rolled her eyes, lazily throwing a hand on his neck, right behind his ear. She ran it back and forth, savoring the intimate moment.

“Yeah, yeah. Shut up, Agent.” She taunted, poorly trying (and failing) to agitate Spencer. She had a hunch (that was more true than either of them would let on) that it wasn’t possible for her to do so, and he found himself proving it to be correct.

“I just had to learn to let the family do what they had to do so that I could do the same.”

The girl’s tone softened as she spoke, staring at the popcorn ceiling.

“I guess so. I’m just too empathetic, my heart is too pure.” She joked, a feathery laugh falling past both of their lips.

“Of course. I would expect nothing less.” He teased back, enjoying the dynamic they both held in the tender moment.

“You amaze me.” She muttered, leaning in, analyzing him and his ruffled post-sex hair, his gorgeously long lashes, and his light 5 o’clock shadow that donned his chin.

He huffed quietly, doing the exact same thing, minus the scruff of course.

“I could say the same to you, pretty girl.”

Their lips connected once again, in a different manner than the feverish and needy kiss from before.

This time, it was a union of two individuals, allowing themselves to mould together in a way only the two of them could. It was slower and sweeter, with more feeling poured into their lips while they moved in sync.

“M’ tired.”

“Yeah? You wanna go to sleep, bubs?”

She grinned as she snuggled into his arms, her exhausted eyes fluttering to a close.

“Bubs, huh? That’s new.”

A worried frown made its way onto his face as he rushed to cover up his previous words.

“D-do you not like it? I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable-“

“Spence.”

He stopped, looking over her for any microexpressions, only seeing positive signs. That wasn’t technically profiling, right? He hoped he would be in the clear if she ever was to find out.

“I love it, baby. Say it again.”

“Bubs?”

“Mhm. Say it again.” She sounded with content. He smirked, a proud feeling infiltrating his body, causing him to puff up his chest in the slightest way.

“Goodnight, bubs.”

He reached up, his paranoia forcing him to close the window above him, despite being a more than qualified FBI agent with a revolver safely tucked away in the top drawer of his night stand that never quite was shut all the way.

It was just the pessimist in him.

She wrapped around his figure, intertwining his form with her own.

“Sleep well, Spence.”

He felt happy with her, happier than he had been in a long time. He relished in that, allowing it to lull him to a well needed rest.

But what could he say, she just brought out the optimist in him.

🂦∙🂦∙🂦

hj posting at a time that isn’t 3 am?????? unheard of. also i may or may not have pulled an all nighter to write whatever tf this is bc my ex posted something with his new gf and i felt pathetic LMAO. anyway, i hope your day is fabulous, go drink some water and remember things are what you make of them and it’s all about intent! love you, xx hj.

[beautifulsnake2162020]

Ikevamp headcanons after watching Hamilton

Quick disclaimer: Yes I know this is a show about people who had owned slaves and slavery is bad. Having said that there's a reason why we suspend disbelief for a couple of hours and just allow ourselves to be swept into the story. I also love Phantom of the Opera but I also am aware that this is a story that involves an abusive and toxic relationship. The point is that I am aware that there are problems that needs to be discussed, but I still love the music, the story and the shows okay. This is just fan content not meant to be taken seriously and is just for fun. Okay? Now let's proceed.

I'll be doing Will and Arthur first since I'm currently doing Shakespeare's route and was inspired to do this after MC watches Romeo and Juliet with Vincent and I was wondering how Will would react to watching Hamilton. And Arthur is here because he is my husband/main lover. I might do Mozart and Napoleon next.

SPOILER ALERT: For anyone who hasn't seen the Disney Plus version of Hamilton, there might be some spoilers here (unless you already saw the show or know the story that is).

General Scenario:

You don't know how but Le Comte was able to get the filmed version of Hamilton, a musical which you've told Sebastian that you've been dying to see but was never able to because tickets were always sold out and entering the lottery was going to be a little too expensive for someone who lives in Japan and who doesn't exactly have the money or the time to simply fly to New York if in case she won. You were also excited because apparently Le Comte was able to modify the 21st century tech room that you use for your online classes and was able to get a wide screen and high quality surround sound which made you appreciate his efforts. A part of you was also curious as to how the other residents would react. You were scared that some of them might take offense, especially Napoleon who knew one of the characters in the show in real life. Would they react weirdly for seeing people different from them portray people that they knew? You were also wondering if they might even appreciate some of the 21st century slang that you and Sebastian would sometimes slip back into whenever it was just the two of you alone. After talking it out with everyone and explaining a few more things (like how its probably going to be different since it is a series of captured pictures-or at least that's your closest analogy- being played super fast with the synchronized sound of the actors- or what you were almost tempted to call "Techno Magic") during a dinner in which Shakespeare had decided to be present in, they were actually interested in what this show is about. Napoleon convinced you that he's fine and actually someone else playing Lafayette might even help with the suspension of disbelief since its been awhile since he has last met him anyway. Will even mentioned that while he has read and heard about stories from America, this is probably going to be the first story or production he's going to see from it. The only one who showed any hesitation - to no one's surprise - was Mozart, since he is attached to the kind of music he is familiar with (aren't we all?). But after prodding from both Jean, Le Comte and you giving him the puppy eyes, he finally relents. The day comes when everyone was once again free and for practicality everyone decided to have a meal first so that they won't be hungry during the show and also for you, Le Comte, and Sebastian to explain a few things everyone else may need to know to truly appreciate the show (like how the Presidential system and elections worked during the setting, what the word "Rewind" means, what is beatboxing, etc). So finally everyone gathered into the tech room after the meal, the lights were dimmed and once everyone was settled, you hit play. And as self-predicted of you, you find yourself crying in the end.

William Shakespeare (I'm still doing his route so please don't hate me if I get him wrong. Also no spoilers please).

- He was a bit shocked at first by how exactly up close you could see the facial expressions of the actors as well as the various ways it would cut to another person. He could now understand why you struggled with trying to explain how its played in a theatre but not exactly like the theatrical experience. But as you saw in your periphery, by the time Philippa Soo sings her first line, Will had already adjusted and allowed himself to be an audience and shut off his director and actor mindset (for the most part at least).

- While he didn't specialize in musicals, he found himself paying attention to the story of "the ten dollar founding father without a father." He knows how music could help both the actors and the audience in succumbing to their emotions in a scene and to suspend disbelief from reality. In his productions the words are not overwhelmed by any score but rather complemented to bring out the emotion he wants to evoke and for actors to show. Since many parts of the show has been influenced by the spoken word style without completely removing it from being sung, he has become enlightened with how powerful a show can be when it is done right.

- He not only enjoyed the story (especially the flow of it) and the production (especially some of the more technical details that the other residents hadn't noticed as far as a stage production is concerned), he loved that even the ensemble members had good acting and some of the onstage humor. One of the meta things he enjoyed was the obvious reference to his most superstitious work.

- Once you've seen how he loves analyzing the technical details of the production, you excitedly tell him about a special member of the ensemble who is known as "The bullet" among fans of the show. You could see him being enlightened as he watches the show with you again (this time with just the two of you) and he now sees "the bullet" and the way she interacts with the characters in a whole different light. He was so impressed with this idea that he may have adapted it into one of his new original plays (its not a copy paste of Hamilton's "bullet" but he definitely adapted assigning a member of the ensemble to have a special role that may not be significant at first, but he heavily notes that this member would have to be unique in interacting with any of the other characters).

- He didn't know what to expect from a 21st Century production but he found himself impressed with the prose and writing of various raps and songs. His favorite from Act 1 in terms of rhyme schemes was "Right Hand Man" and from Act 2 it was Jefferson's rap in "Washington by your side". And after settling down a bit his favorite emotional parts were "History has its eyes on you", "Hurricane", and "It's quiet uptown".

- He was impressed with how the double roles was given and how it actually is true for both of their roles in both acts. Ambiguity is one of his favorite things to have in a work, and he gives props to Lin for all the ambiguity he later realizes was in several parts of the show. If he and Arthur had been a little bit more closer, they probably would have bonded over the ambiguity Hamilton's comma in his letter to Angelica (see kids, grammar matters).

- A part of his brain wonders how the real life Hamilton would react to this and if him and Burr would still be enemies. But after some thinking he decides its not worth his efforts of asking anyone to bring them back since a wonderful production of their life has already been made even if it may not necessarily reflect who they truly are. He of all people knew what it's like to be inspired by great figures, it was fortunate that Lin Manuel Miranda decided to make a show about them before he had the chance to.

- You explain that in America Hamilton is one of the lesser known founding fathers of their nation and how it may be because his political opponents later on became Presidents and therefore was able to form the narrative. He becomes inspired by it and begins to search out people or stories who are hidden gems who may not be historically famous but had much more interesting stories than some of the ones he has heard of.

- Afterwards once you are sure that he has gotten comfortable enough with the genre you show him various videos of people rapping to his works and his reactions range from impressed to amused to "that's not what I mean when I wrote that" and you had to calm him down and explain that they can't hear him anyway after he started giving serious critiques on what the text means.

Arthur Conan Doyle

- While he was knowledgeable about many things, America's founding fathers was not one of them. He along with the other residents have gotten used to any rumors or exaggerated accounts of their lives and you and Sebastian have already warned that this is just a fictionalized production of the real person. As a writer of some historical fiction books he argued that he of all people was aware that any work based on history will speak more about the creators rather than the actual people they are writing about most of the time. He was nevertheless interested as to why you have become fascinated with the treasury secretary (and maybe it was with a twinge of jealousy that you began to expressly show admiration to another man even if he wasn't among the residents in the mansion). After all unlike many other residents of the mansion, on the surface it seemed that Hamilton was similar to Theo who mainly played a supporting but crucial role to his brother. He was thankful that you didn't hold it against him and was comforted that you were in a similar place. You even told him that the only thing you really knew about Hamilton before listening to the soundtrack and watching "Animatics" was that he was in the ten dollar American bill.

- And as someone who has delved into writing historical fictions, this was probably one of the most entertaining productions about a historical figure he has seen. He's going to be honest with you in that at first he was wondering if revealing Burr shot Hamilton in the opening was going to hinder him from enjoying the show; but he was pleasantly surprised that this was not the case at all. As a matter of fact it now made him want to find out who the real Hamilton was (although a part of him doubts if the real Hamilton had any regrets at all). According to him, this is why as a fictionalized historical work, the show is a success because it makes you want to find out more about the events and figures of the story (even if it means looking at darker realities that they did). And while the real Hamilton may be a lot different from what was shown, with all the things he went through and all the things he has done (for better or worse), he now wonders why exactly Le Comte hadn't approached him since he seems to be no better or worse than the average resident ("He and Newt could probably discuss mathematics all day."). You then explained that his political rivals (Jefferson and Madison from the show, and Monroe who wasn't shown in the musical) had later on become Presidents and was able to shape the narrative away from Hamilton. "Ron Chernow made Hamilton's biography because he was the lesser known founding father who was fading into obscurity among Americans and Lin read the book and recognized the story of someone who has risen through his writings. And to Lin that was also the story of hiphop." While he wasn't involved in politics as much as Hamilton was, Arthur had enough experience to know what it feels like to have those kinds of people in power. He also knows just how powerful it is to be in "the room where it happened" and how sometimes the real decisions weren't being made in an office but rather in either a private party or the right bar when people in power had their guard down and were more susceptible to being influenced.

- He could relate a lot with Hamilton on many things that he's only comfortable allowing either you or Theo to see. From being just so much more aware of death's inevitability coming for every living thing to survivor's guilt even though a part of him knows its irrational (but sometimes the emotional nonsense just overtakes our perspectives and actions). It's why he could understand Hamilton's need to write as much as he can before he dies. It's why for a time in his human life he had deviated from writing about Holmes and ventured into other genres. He could also relate to the need to prove what type of person he was, and how to go beyond his tragedies to serve people in their own ways. Hamilton did it as a soldier and the creator of America's financial system. And he is doing it as an informally practicing doctor and as a writer. It's a need that he's trying to mitigate since you've repeatedly told him that he doesn't need to prove anything to you or to anyone and to write whatever he pleases. But he also can't deny that it's still somewhere lodged in the back of his head.

- Just like William Shakespeare, in terms of the wordplay found in rap and the ambiguity present in the show and how those things were executed made him amazed and momentarily speechless. He was especially fanboying about "The comma after dearest" and how this essentially shows how important grammar was. It went to the extent that afterwards whenever he would write to you he would address you either as "My dearest, Y/N" or "My darling, Y/N" with special emphasis on the comma (sometimes you could see how there's more ink in the comma than some of the actual words. That's how much he wants to emphasize that you hold the title of dearest or darling). And you excitedly share with him some of the trivia knowledge of the show (like how in real life it was Angelica who originally made the comma mistake by writing to Hamilton as "My dear, sir" in one of her letters and it was Hamilton who was asking her what the comma means and even replied with "Ma chere, soeur") and how Angelica really did reference the Icarus metaphor in one of her letters to Eliza. And even though he wasn't a major musical nerd (he sang for fun), he would now join you in watching Howard Ho's Hamilton videos musically analyzing Hamilton (and would probably try to find a way to use this knowledge to annoy Mozart in some way).

- Speaking of music: Maybe it's because he's biased in his love for you but aside from Sebastian he's probably the one who has no qualms about the hiphop genre and was immediately into the various wordplays that rapping allowed. And because of this his favorite characters in terms of rapping are the ones played by Daveed Diggs (probably more than Hamilton himself even though you've explained that Lin is the one who wrote the whole thing). He even adapts to how Daveed as Jefferson would say Isaac's third law and incorporated it into his "let's tease Newton" kit. That's when you know he really loves Daveed Diggs ("Every action has an equal opposite -" "WILL YOU PLEASE STOP SAYING IT THAT WAY?! I didn't mind the first few times but this is ridiculous Arthur" "It must be nice, it must be nice to have a Newton on your side"). And his favorite character emotionally was Angelica (her raps in Schuyler Sisters and Satisfied may have helped).

- Speaking of the Schuyler Sisters, after watching it with you another time (this time with just the two of you) one of his favorite things to say is that you've got the best of all three sisters within you (Angelica's wittiness and intelligence, Eliza's cares for the more important things in life, and Peggy's humor) with the sexiness of Maria Reynolds. But because he sees all 4 of them in you he has the benefit of not needing to choose among them. Having said that there will be a period wherein he teases you if he makes you "Helpless" or "Satisfied" (and you respond either by kissing him or singing "That would be enough").

- Whenever you would sing as one of the Schuyler sisters he will join you as any of the male characters the moment he masters the soundtrack and could even sing it without the music. His favorite rap songs are "Guns and Ships", "Washington on your side", and of course "Satisfied". He also really loves "Non-stop", "the 10 duel commandments", and "The room where it happened". But his favorite sequence is from "the Winter's Ball" all the way to "Wait for it". Since it has romance, a shocking revelation, and gives insight to the perspective of the antagonist. He's also one of the first people to attempt to learn the choreography whenever he's in one of his mental blocks in writing. Of course he makes sure not to injure himself.

- He posts song lyrics to keep himself motivated in his times of mental block "There's a million things I haven't done. But just you wait" and "I'm not throwing away my shot" frequently appear around his desk.

-And whenever he's feeling low or insecure, just like Eliza you remind him to "Look around, Look around, how lucky we are to be alive right now."

[dragonseattofu]

NekuShiki question time! #2 :)

Who said "I love you" first? When?

Do they ever go dancing? How does it go?

Who is more affectionate with the other?

First I love you

The person who I envision to say the first “I love you” in the post-NEO world would be Neku. Pre-NEO I would hands down have thought it would be Shiki, because out of the two I feel like Neku’s more of an awkward sort and wouldn’t know how to put romantic feelings into words. But after NEO I feel like Neku became a little better at conveying his feelings and here’s why:

He watched her exit the elevator. She was talking to someone holding a camera bag, possibly the photographer she had just hired a couple of days ago. He remembered their evening meal yesterday, one he had to pry her away from her work to partake in, relating to her upcoming photoshoot. He learned their usual photographer had double booked and she had to scramble to find a replacement. The replacement looked young, around their age, and seemed to be bowing a goodbye to her before walking towards the exit behind him.

Neku continued to watch her, as she pulled out her phone from her Mr. Mew purse. Shiki tapped furiously at the screen, with speed rivaling Nagi, and seconds later he felt a buzz in his pocket.

After tucking her phone back away, Shiki moved toward the turnstiles situated near the door and finally saw him. It took her a second to overcome the surprise, he didn’t tell her that he was coming to pick her up, but she immediately brightened as she walked toward him at a steadfast pace.

How many days, months, years had he waited and hoped for to see a sight like this? To feel like this? Like his chest tightening in anticipation of her being in his arms, his cheeks warming at her smiling at him for simply … existing? How long had he spent thinking about the life he could have had with his friends, with her?

When Neku was dropped into the Shinjuku UG, he went into shock. Why? Why was he back when he was banned from ever playing the game again? He had just gotten his life back. He finally didn’t feel so alone in the vast seas of Shibuya.

But then he got shot … again.

His cynical side thought, maybe this was his retribution. He didn’t deserve friends, not after what he did to him…

But then he remembered them, and what they had all said to him.

“Let me in! Tell me what you're thinking!”

“Give up on yourself, and you give up on the world.”

“You're not my partner anymore man, you're... my friend. So trus' that yo!”

Come on, work with us. A problem shared is a problem halved!

And then he could have sworn he heard her…

“You finally came back to us … I knew you would.”

“I’m so happy you're back, Neku.”

He didn’t remember her saying that to him, but it wasn’t the first time he felt like he saw things that haven’t happened yet, things that could happen if he played his cards right. Visions of a future that gave him some … hope.

Every battle he fought, every new area he stumbled into, every floating thought he passed, all led to this hope that he would get back to his friends.

When he wasn’t fighting to survive, or when Coco was standing watch so he could rest, he thought about them. Was Beat skipping classes still? Was Rhyme learning how to do those ollies Beat was trying to teach her. Was Shiki … was Shiki hanging out with Eri right now? Was she fixing a stitch on Mr. Mew? Did she miss him, the same way he missed her?

His time in the RG after playing three weeks in the reapers game was short, but nothing less than wonderful. Shiki and Neku went on a couple outings together, just the two of them when the Bito siblings had family errands. It started out a little awkward, especially when familiar restaurant and store keepers thought they were an item already. A specific ramen owner was the worst of them all even though his teasing came from a place of fondness for the pair.

Without him realizing, being with Shiki was almost as natural as breathing, and every moment he spent with her was fun, interesting, precious to him.

Neku didn’t get the time he needed to work out how important Shiki was to him before being plunged into the Shinjuku UG, but three years of company to only the disembodied thoughts of lost souls and an occasional “fairy” reaper gave him the opportunity to delve into it. The conclusion he reached gave him the motivation to keep fighting, to keep surviving. For once, he had someone worth living for.

“Earth to Neku?” Shiki waved her hands in front of his face.

He blinked, bringing himself back to the present. Shiki stood on her toes, trying to look at his face underneath his overgrown bangs. He felt her touch his cheek, concern marring her adorable face.

He hates that he brought so much strain to her life. Maybe she could have been happier with someone else, someone who wouldn’t break their promise to go shopping the next day and abruptly disappear.

But then she smiled at him, having noticed that he simply zoned out. And all of a sudden his negativity stopped spiralling and he felt grounded again. He may not feel like he deserved her, but she chose him nonetheless.

She chose to never give up on him, that he would survive the ordeal he was thrust into. She chose to be the best version of herself that she could be while she waited for him.

And then even after all that time had passed, she still chose to be with him.

Neku didn’t know if there was a word that encompassed the overwhelming emotion he felt whenever he thought of Shiki. One certainly felt close enough though.

“Hey Shiki?” He asked, putting his larger hand over her smaller one that lingered on his cheek.

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

He couldn’t remember the last time he said that to anyone, if he did at all. Even though Neku had told Shiki almost immediately after his arrival in the RG that he wanted to be more than friends, he hadn’t used that word before. Love was still such a foreign concept that he wasn’t sure he understood it completely, but if there was anyone in the whole world he could associate love with, it would be Shiki.

Shiki’s hand on his face stiffened at the sudden confession. For a hot second, maybe it wasn’t the time or place she expected him to say it. He felt a slight panic from the doubt of her not reciprocating his feelings.

But those thoughts were quickly thrown out when she leaned in and kissed him.

It was a kiss longer than they had ever shared before. She was physically telling him something, but he was a little preoccupied to fully process anything. Shiki pulled away, far quicker than Neku would have liked, carrying the sweetest grin he ever saw on her.

“I love you too, Neku.”

Dancing

Shiki would have this fancy company dinner that she’d have to go to for networking. As friendly as Shiki is, she’s still introverted and the whole event just sounds utterly exhausting. Neku would be her plus one, because even if that’s the last place he would rather be, he’s her partner, and that’s that. She gets well enough along with everyone, but she has to make the rounds and greet everybody, leaving Neku alone at times. Thankfully Eri’s also there, and the girls take turns between networking and keeping Neku company. He surprises both of them when the head designer for Jupes notices Neku’s deep purple button down shirt from Jupes under a Gatto Nero’s half grey plaid - half black solid blazer (it’s visually better in my head than what I just described), and wants to talk to the designer of the jacket. Neku goes full endorsing mode for his girlfriend, and smiles smug when the girls realize they didn’t need to worry about him, much less securing a major deal with a major brand for a collaboration. He’s pretty happy with himself when he hears a version of Someday play on the surround sound. The dance floor opens up, and a couple of people start a waltz.

Neku thinks to himself, it’s an odd thing to have a dance in the middle of a company dinner, but dinners in the fashion industry are often hosted by the most eccentric of people, and he supposes it’s not so peculiar after all.

The melody plays soft and slow, and if he’s honest with himself, it’s a pretty good rendition of one of his favorite songs. He sees Shiki from the corner of his eye, silently asking her to dance as he extends his hand out. She’s surprised at the gesture. Neku’s many things, but dancer’s not one of them. The exaggerated kicks he’s so fond of are sort of hard to move elegantly in. A simple slow dance, he thinks, is enough for him to handle. Her thin finger slipped effortlessly into his hand.

More affectionate

Post-NEO, I feel that both are pretty affectionate toward one another, but in different ways. Shiki’s more physically affectionate, she’s more of a hugger and is always holding his hand, or his clothes, just so she can feel that he’s there. He doesn’t initiate physical touch as often as she does, but he never let’s go, or moves away from it. This happens more naturally as they start dating, snuggles and such.

Neku’s more affectionate verbally. He’s gotten comfortable saying what’s on his mind more often. He’s not shy about complimenting her, she doesn’t need his reassurances but his opinion is important to her nonetheless. He’s a natural flirt; says things that would be considered suave without intention. He would say pick up lines without realizing that they were pick up lines.

Okay, so I’m like not really sure how best to put my thoughts together but here goes:

The Shibuya and Twister kiddos would all be at some fashion function, and the Fret and Beat would comment on how attractive some of the models are. Neku would just be like, “yeah, they are attractive, but they aren’t as beautiful as Shiki.” Him referring to how much he loves her appearance as well as her personality, whereas he knows nothing about these girls so all he is going on is their looks.

And of course Shiki, who has pins in her mouth and is trying to get her models ready, hears this. Her jaw loosens and the pins fall on the floor. She’s essentially flushed and flabbergasted, by what he said and how nonchalant he said it. He looks at her like he said nothing wrong. Then he just smiles at her, and she just stutters out curse words. She doesn’t have time for this.

Notes: I’m so sorry for the late reply. I’m such a slow thinker and writer! But thanks again for the ask! The first prompt sort of snowballed. Hope you like it! @doesitringabell, I added a collection on Ao3 dedicated to you for any/all other prompts that end up longer than I had anticipated. Check out the source content.

Also sorry for any typos and such, let me know if you spot any. If anyone is still interested in my rambling mess of Neshiki fanfics/ficlets, don’t hesitate to send me more asks! It might take a while, but just know that my moments of silence are just me tinkering with ideas (writing something, hating it, revising it, writing again, rinse, repeat, then screw this, just take it.)

[hallowxiu]

A Humanistic Fascination

pairing: human!mammon/demon!gn!mc

word count: 3.6k

summary: After your sister Lilith died, you wondered what attracted her to humans in the first place. Your answer comes in the form of a white-haired human named Mammon.

a/n: well this was fun! I kind of want to turn this into a series where mammon is the human selected for the exchange program, but I’m not sure if anyone would be interested. Just let me know; I’m friendly, I don’t bite!! :)

Ever since the day Lilith died and you fell, you had an undying curiosity of humans. You wanted to know what it was about them that drew your sister in so much, a thirst where she was willing to risk and leave everything behind. While your brother Belphegor distanced himself from the humans he once adored, you had done the opposite. Before you and your brothers fell, you didn’t much care for humans. You didn’t dislike them, but you also didn’t like them either. Lilith and Belphegor were always the two to marvel at the creatures down below.

You wanted to know if you missed something. Maybe you didn’t see something the other two had. While your youngest brother now despised them, you wanted to see what drew him in in the first place. Humans had been somewhat of a touchy subject in the House of Lamentation. The obvious reason was Belphegor; anything human related would set him off and it wasn’t a pretty sight. However, the obvious shift in the room whenever humans were brought up was hard to miss.

As the second eldest, you had a bit of a responsibility placed on your shoulders to be a good role model, especially now that the brothers were lost and grieving. Recently, Lord Diavolo had suggested an exchange program where angels and humans would come to the Devildom to learn about the culture in an attempt to join the three realms and have peace. You thought enough time had passed since falling for the brothers to at least consider the idea, but Belphegor had a meltdown and Lucifer nearly locked him up over it. You also noticed a hesitance in your older brother as well. That being said, you wanted to make things easier for everyone. You made sure to help Lucifer with his paperwork so he could get at least some level of sleep, you kept Satan company whenever he felt lonely, you tried to understand all the lingo Leviathan had a tendency to throw out, you tried new foods with Beelzebub (as Belphegor wanted time alone more and more these days…), and you went shopping with Asmodeus every now and then. Belphegor was a different case; he was isolating himself more than Leviathan and you could barely get through to your younger brother. A part of you was hoping that by figuring out more about humans, that you’d somehow be able to get closer with your brother. It was a long shot, and you weren’t even sure it would work, but it was all you had. Even Beelzebub was having a hard time with him these days.

And that’s how you ended up in the human realm. Although you were trying to be a good role model, you did have to sneak away every now and then. Lucifer would never approve of you going to the human realm alone, he had become especially protective of you since falling. You couldn’t blame him; you knew he harbored a lot of blame for the way things ended with Lilith so you tried to be as understanding as you possibly could. That being said, you tried. You still needed to do some things for yourself, and this was one of them. You figured if Lord Diavolo really did plan on hosting an exchange program, growing accustomed to humans and their respective realm would do you some good. For the most part, you stayed hidden in the shadows. When your brothers would travel, like Asmodeus or Satan, they liked to be seen by humans. Never in their demon form (although Satan did lose his temper on that one trip; you try not to delve into that), but they liked to be acknowledged. You were closer to Leviathan in the sense that you liked to blend in with the humans rather than stand out. Unwanted attention might get you into trouble, and the last thing you needed was Lucifer chewing you out about being reckless.

Your eyes narrowed as you observed the streets, taking in the mannerisms of the humans walking by. You were in a busy city and it was mid-December with plenty of human holiday traditions popping up. The hustle and bustle of the city were appealing to you and you could see why so many humans marveled at cities and longed to live there. You were walking through the crowd, hands stuffed in the pockets of your coat despite not being even a bit cold. You wanted to fit in though, so you tried to match everyone else. You noticed how everyone was too busy to look at one another; people rushing by too focused on their everyday lives. At the moment, you couldn’t tell what your two siblings found so appealing about humans. They seemed a little selfish if anything.

And, although ironic enough, you were too busy thinking to yourself to notice others around you, which led you straight into slamming into the chest of someone. “Oi, what the hell-- why don’t ya watch where you’re goin’?” The first thing you noticed was the accent. It was odd, and it certainly didn’t seem to match those of the people surrounding you. The second thing you noticed was the harsh attitude from the mere human you stumbled into. The audacity of some of these humans never failed to amaze you-- oh shit.

You blink several times as you look in front of you, a head of white fluffy hair taking up most of your vision. You still weren’t used to all the interesting colors humans picked to wear, despite the Devildom being filled to the brim with demons who also had some... unique tastes. Hair aside, he was absolutely stunning. You couldn’t find yourself able to look away-- was he also a demon? Did he put you under some kind of spell? Of course, you wouldn’t be surprised to see another demon lurking about, but still--

“Hello? Are ya deaf or somethin’? Ya can’t just go runnin’ into people and then stare at them with these bug eyes. It’s a bit weird, ya know.” Oh, right.

“Uh… sorry?” Not exactly what you planned on saying.

“Yeah…” The man looks at you with a raised eyebrow before clearing his throat and looking away. “Well, I’m in a bit of a rush, so I can’t just stand here all day. Just make sure ya don’t continue to slam into people. Not all of them are as nice as me.” He gives you a wink with that final line and you try to ignore the heat that’s building up in your face. Nice my ass, you can’t help but think. And nearly just as quick as he popped into your life, he vanished. You’re impressed with how fast these humans are; maybe you don’t give them enough credit.

“And where were you?” You were hoping to go unnoticed, but as your luck would have it, of course, Lucifer would catch you the second you walked through the front door. You weren’t a great liar and you both knew this, so you needed to play your cards right. You doubt he’d be happy to know you’ve been running around unsupervised in another realm.

“Uh--”

“You smell like human food.” Beelzebub is quick to point out as he walks into the living room. “Did you bring some human food? Are you going to share?” The red-headed demon is looking at you with a hopeful face and had he not just indirectly ratted you out, you’d probably feel bad for not having any food on you.

“I don’t have any food.” You put it simply and your brother pouts in response. Lucifer, however, is looking at you with a very intense gaze.

“And would you care to explain why you would smell like human food at all?” His arms are crossed over his chest and his foot is tapping against the polished floor. Yeah, you were definitely busted. “And why do you reek of cheap cologne? Were you out with a man?”

“Okay dad, calm down.” You put your hands up in submission. “I was not out with a man, I bumped into one on accident.” More like body slammed into one, but he didn’t need the details. “Maybe he had some human food on him, I don’t know why else I’d smell like it.”

“Must have slammed into him pretty hard to smell that strongly of humans. Unless, of course, the man you crossed paths with was a human.” You swallow thickly under Lucifer’s watchful eye. Damn, you really couldn’t get anything past that man.

“I don’t know why a human would be in the Devildom.”

“Yeah, I don’t know why either.” Lucifer’s looking even more annoyed now. Maybe you shouldn’t have said that. You might have just walked into a trap. “Unless of course…”

“Well, look, maybe he was in the human realm and had a bit of a snack. Maybe he chomped on some humans, I don’t know what you want me to tell you. I can’t keep track of every demon I happen to bump into, but next time I run into one I’ll be sure to take some notes and interview them just in case you don’t like how I smell when I come back home.”

“Watch how you talk to me.” Lucifer was getting a little worked up, but to be fair, so were you. You didn’t mean to be so defensive, but when dealing with someone as investigative as Lucifer, could you really be blamed?

“Well, this was fun and all,” you fake a yawn, “but I’m actually quite tired now. Think I’ll go to bed. Catch some shut-eye. Speaking of,” you point an accusing finger at the eldest, “you should too. All this lack of sleep is what makes you so grumpy.”

“Yes,” he deadpans, “I’m sure it’s the lack of sleep that has me like this.”

Okay, so maybe you had a bit of a problem. Not a big problem, but a problem nonetheless. It had been exactly two days since your first and last outing to the human realm. You had a good time overall, but a certain white-haired boy grabbed your attention and refused to let go. The problem? You knew nothing about him. All you knew was that he had an interesting accent and that he maybe lived in a city. At the very least, he had business in the city. If you still haven’t guessed, your problem is that you can’t get this kid out of your head. You didn’t plan on traveling back to the human realm so soon, but well, life happens and here you are. Right back in the same city as two days ago.

It was still as busy as last time, with people shoving their way down the streets, bags in hands and eyes glued to phone screens. It would be impossible to spot him in this crowd, so you’d have to snoop around. Was this really something you were proud of? No, but you were a demon and you let it justify the odd things you indulged in.

You made your way down a sidewalk, hands stuffed in the pockets of your coat once again as you kept a watchful eye out. Your eyes landed on a small restaurant that was tucked away in a corner and the smell caught your attention. Having temporarily forgotten your mission, and instead thinking of picking up some food for Beelzebub, you made your way towards the restaurant. Pushing the door open, you heard a bell above you ring, alerting your presence to the workers.

“Good afternoon.” A cheerful woman says from behind the counter, currently in the middle of taking an order from a customer. You nod your head in response, debating internally whether or not bringing Beelzebub back food would be worth the scolding from Lucifer as yes, you would essentially be ratting yourself out. You could probably get Beelzebub to swear silence in turn for the food though. As you weigh the pros and cons in your head, you hear a familiar voice come from behind you which makes you freeze in place.

“Eh? What are ya doin’ here? Ya followin’ me or somethin’?” You knew the man was probably joking, but uh… yes. Well, you were at the start, technically, but as luck would have it you just happened to bump into him again, so technically you didn’t stalk him and technically you didn’t track him down. So, no, you were not creepy.

“Yes.” You deadpan, and the white-haired man looks puzzled for a minute before erupting into laughter.

“You’re funny.” He gives you a firm pat on the back as he walks by, and that’s when you take in his appearance. He was wearing an apron, so you could assume he was a waiter for the restaurant. Wow, weren’t you the luckiest demon on this planet? Your eyes scan his uniform, looking for a name tag. Your eyebrow quirks in amusement when you read the word ‘Mammon’. Did his parents hate him? Why would they name a child that? What next? Was his middle name Lucifer too?

“Your name is Mammon.” You deadpan once again.

“Yes.” He replies, a bit of a pout on his lips. You assume he gets comments on his name all the time. You wonder why he hasn’t legally changed it; humans have a process for that, don’t they? They love to change everything.

“It’s nice.” You weren’t lying. As a demon, you did appreciate names on humans that derived from your kind. Although definitely taboo for humans, it was always fascinating to you to see that some humans actually did walk around with demon names.

“Eh? Really?” He’s looking at you with wide eyes again before a dopey smile forms on his lips as the two of you stand chatting by the entrance. “I don’t get that a lot. Are you from around here? I haven’t seen ya much. Have ya been here before?”

“I’m new to the area.” It wasn’t really a lie. “So I’ve just been exploring the area, trying to take everything in. I thought this place smelled good so I came here. I wasn’t expecting to see you.” But it did make things easier. Now that you had a name to a face, maybe you’d be able to get him out of your head.

“So that’s the excuse you’re goin’ with, yeah?” There’s a playful grin on his lips before he leads you to a table. “Just sit tight, I’ll be the one takin’ your order, so glance over the menu, okay?” You can only nod in response as he’s gone almost immediately after. Well, Lucifer would definitely notice your scent now. Nothing about you smelled like a demon; in fact, you’re sure you smelled more human at this point than anything else.

Your eyes follow Mammon’s figure as he disappears into the back, doing who knows what. Cheap cologne, you remember Lucifer bringing that up the other day. You didn’t think Mammon smelled like cheap cologne, he actually smelled quite nice.

You decided to bring your attention to the menu placed on the table in front of you as you found yourself getting too distracted and you didn’t want to risk looking like an actual stalker (although that’s already up in the air) when Mammon comes back. Your eyebrow quirked as you looked over the food. So it’s a café type of place? How cute, you can’t help but think to yourself. You weren’t too hungry, but the longer you stayed there the longer you’d be able to see Mammon. You could always bring it back to Beelzebub.

“Decide on anythin’ yet?” He asks, startling you out of your thoughts. Why didn’t you sense his arrival? You give him a confused look when he places a mug down in front of you. “What? Ya look like a hot chocolate kind of… person?” You stifle a laugh at his odd attempt to address you.

“I do like hot chocolate.” Was it hot in here or was it just you? You cup your hands around the mug and try not to look up at the white-haired man in fear of staring at him like a creep.

“Of course. My intuition is never wrong.” He gives you a wink, which you happen to look up just in time to catch, and low and behold your face is beet red. Just your luck. “So? What do ya want?”

“What do I want?” You choke out and Mammon looks at you with another raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, what do ya want to eat?” Duh.

“U-Uh, yeah, this!” In a panic, you quickly point at a random spot on the menu, to which Mammon bends down to examine it.

“So you’re big on sweets, yeah? I like chocolate too, but that’s a lot even for me.” He has a toothy grin on his face and you quickly look down to see just what exactly it was that you picked out. A chocolate cake drizzled in chocolate sauce served with a side of chocolate wafers. Yeah, that wouldn’t have been your pick if you had actually paid attention, but it is what it is.

“It’s because I’m so sweet.” Yeah, you hated that the second it left your mouth. Mammon, however, seemed to like it as he blurted out a laugh.

“I can’t say that I disagree.” He looks thoughtful for a moment before shifting on his feet. “I’m about to go on break, would ya mind if I sat with ya?” And cue your cheeks heating up again. You just hoped it wasn’t too noticeable.

“Sure, yeah, I don’t mind.” You’re scratching at the back of your neck shyly as you look around the mostly empty restaurant.

“Cool!” Your face is buried in your hands once the man leaves, a shaky sigh leaving you. Did he want to sit with you? You didn’t know if you should consider yourself lucky or unlucky at this point.

At least ten minutes went by before Mammon joined you at your table, the man pulling out his phone as he sat in the empty seat. He was clearly excited to be on break, the man rambling about his day and all the annoying customers he had to deal with. You listen silently as you pick at your cake. You had forced yourself to eat half of it before he joined you, not wanting to look like you didn’t like it and have the white-haired boy ask you questions regarding it. You were still unsure how to feel about his company, but a part of you felt lighter than before.

“What time do you work until?” You found yourself asking and you shyly glanced over at the other.

“I close.” There’s a pout on his lips and you find yourself smiling. “Kinda sucks, but the pay is alright. Better than nothin’ anyway, especially with the holidays comin’ up and all.” He’s playing with his fingers as he glances down at his phone. Was he waiting for something? Maybe he had a partner and he was waiting for them to text him back. For some reason, that thought makes you frown. “Ah, actually,” there’s a sheepish smile on his lips and his cheeks are turning a pretty shade of red, “I was wonderin’ if I could actually get your number.” He’s scratching at the back of his neck and you feel your heart skip several beats in response. He wanted your number? Your number? Him? Your expression must have startled him as the man across from you started stammering out an excuse. “Ah, but, actually-- if it’s too invasive, I didn’t mean anythin’ like that-- I swear, oh god.”

“It’s okay, don’t worry.” You were beyond grateful, but there was only one teenie tiny issue. “I don’t have a phone.” Well, a human phone that is. You had a perfectly working D.D.D, but nothing that could interact with the human realm. Mammon looks slightly dejected and you know that he doesn’t buy your excuse. You weren’t surprised, a lot of humans seemed to have phones in this era. Living without one seemed to be impossible for them. And, as if the universe wanted to punish you for flirting with a human that was so beneath you, your D.D.D immediately goes off.

Your face pales as you just stare in horror at Mammon. He looks slightly annoyed, though you can tell he’s trying to play it off. That had to sting. “Look, it’s cool. Ya don’t owe me any explanations if ya don’t want me havin’ your number.” He checks his phone once again, the silence in the air suffocating you. “Ya should probably answer that, don’t ya think?” Yeah, he was definitely annoyed with you. You clumsily grab your D.D.D from your pocket, nearly dropping it in the process. You swear under your breath when seeing it’s Lucifer. You wonder what the odds were of him finding out you were in the human realm.

“I uh, I have to go.”

“Important call?” There was bitterness just barely contained in his voice. How did things go so wrong so fast?

“I’m sorry.” You say lamely before leaving all the human currency you had on the table and darted out the doors of the restaurant. God, you’d never be able to show your face in the human realm again. That embarrassment would last for centuries, you were sure of it.

[lovee-infected]

For the anon talking about how they hate how over exaggerated a character is. I am not trying to start hate or anything, but if you don't like the way how someone portrays the character, just stop reading it. Some people don't delve deep, they just want to write fanfics for fun they're not going to make sure it's 100% the characters VERY complex personalities. Or the way how they view a character is different from their beliefs. I've gotten this message before and I am TIRED of it

I think it's a good time to talk about this because I've been thinking about bringing the topic up for a while. To begin with, let's clear something between the two anons because I think it's a misunderstanding:

Note: Please read this, this is important.

Anon A is saying that they're sometimes bothered by how some fanfics and Aus have a different way of picturing character X, in other words, they don't really enjoy it when a character is bring mischaracterized

Anon B (this anon) is saying that if you're bothered by a fic because you don't like how they're characterizing an specific character, then you don't have to read it.

Let me say that both of these anons are right, yet to think that their ideas are the opposites of each other, is totally wrong. In other words they both have a point, but I guess their points needs a stronger a better way of being explained in order to avoid any further dramas and misunderstandings.

Why am I doing this? Because I've seen -enough- of it. After the twst character analyses, aruges toward the mischaracterizations in this fandom became a thing, it's been causing some issues and arguments between the fans and it's mainly because of how sides fails to explain their points clearly.

Though I didn't really receive any rude asks/comments regarding myself the matter I can still how some fans feel attacked, offended or called out by character analysis posts or have the NERVE to attack or offend others with their own perspective on characters and try to force others into accepting them.

Enough with drama, I'm sick of it. I'm going to explain this as clearly as I can, hopeful that this would at least lessen the chance of having to go through another drama regarding the mischaracterization issue.

1) The concept of FANfiction

First off, the fanfiction itself; what is a fanfiction? What type of writing is considered to be a fanfic? What is it even used for? These are the questions we all need to answer before getting to know the world of fanfic.

Just as its name explains, it's fan + fiction. It's the result of the fan's creativity and imagination taking place in a fictional plot, something that hasn't happened with the original characters and he original story. The fans' imagination is often far beyond the plot which the original story/series/book offers, yet this isn't going to hold fans back from imagining it. Fanfiction is the way of giving yourself (or others) the specific and plot with the original and canon version isn't going to give you, in other words it's a way of getting what you wish to see through a story but this time, it's you who'd decide what will happen.

You are the one who decides how characters will be, you are the one who decides how and where this story happens and you are the one to choose how this story must come to an end. It's all about your own imagination and creativity, which enables you to have power over everything about your own story and fanfiction, everything (In expection gor than legal issues including claiming the original character as yours). You have the power, and you choose how it should be.

2) Fanfiction and mischaracterization

This was mainly the most brought up issue in the recent Twst drama, mischaracterization through writings. Many were saying how they find this annoying and nerve-wrecking, but no one really talked about how mischaracterization comes to life.

Let me tell you, as long your writing is a fanfic, there is a 70% chance of mischaracterizing the plot or the characters and there's nothing wrong with it, that's just how fanfiction works! It isn't supposed to be canon, it is fanon and only fanon. Everything that happens is fictional and fanon based, in other words, it's the fan who decides what should happen in a fanfiction and how it's supposed to be!

One of the Fanfiction's best purposes is giving the fandom a chance to mischaracterize! To write the characters the way they wish them to be and not necessarily the way they truly are. Fanfiction allows us to imagine and create something that isn't true, so let me clear my point here: It's totally okay to change the characters' personalities in your fanfics! As the writer, you have the right to do so, and since writing a fanfic must be for your own pleasure in the first place, no one can stop you from imagining whatever you want! No one can jump out and say stuff like "YOU CAN'T MISCHARACERTIZE A CHARACTER IN A FANFICTION" because that'd be super lame. It's your own fanfiction, your story, your creation and you're free to mischaracterize if that's how you like it to be! And if anyone doesn't like that, remember that they don't have to read that.

3)What is the problem?

Look, we've been going through some drama because of the recent character analyses of twst fandom, and I'd like to explain why. First off, note that I think both sides of the argument have been wrong and I'm going to talk about both of them.

Let me begin with a small example: It's been argued that based to what we've seen from Leona's personality so far, he doesn't seem to be the type to love healthily or even easily fall for anyone. Some of the fans seemed to be offended by the statement and said that "They still want their Leona fluff no matter what everyone else says" okay okay, this is the problem I was talking about: Saying that canon Leona doesn't seem to be much of a fluffy lion or a sweet lover isn't equal to forbidding the fans from writing fluffs for him or picturing him as a adorable and gentle lover! No one has the right to hold fans back from appreciating and enjoying what they like! But it's important to know what exactly is happening.

I'll talk about some crucial points you need to know about character analyses and how it's different from a fanfic in part (4), but before that, let me continue to give some examples of the recent argues and how each of the sides were wrong.

A) You enjoy reading fluffy Malleus content but character analyses have been saying that he isn't as soft and cute as you'd expected him to be. Does this mean that you can no longer ask for wholesome Malleus content or enjoy reading them? -> Of course not! You're still free to read/imagine/write whatever you like with Malleus! No one has the right to tell you what to do, and character analyses aren't meant to be a way to hold you back from enjoying what you like! If you're enjoying something, go for it! In this fanon world no one can accuse you for not following the canon interpretations!

B) You've spent a rather long time getting to know Ace and his canon personality, and you really like the way he is! But by reading fanfics/ fandom's interpretations on him you can't help but to feel like they aren't giving his personality the justice he deserves, and aren't seeing the great and amazing character he truly is. Is it okay to feel upset about this? -> Just as I said, it's totally fine to have your personal interpretations of a character no matter how different the rest of the interpretations are! But the real question is: what should you do when you think fandom isn't doing a character justice? This would be answered in part D!

C) You are enjoying your personal ideas and headcanons with Idia and many are saying that your way of picturing him is so adorable! Does this necessarily mean that the canon Idia as well is like you describe him? -> Absolutely not! No matter how adorable an Au/headcanon is, everyone's free to enjoy it but you should remember that canon ≠ fanon. You are totally free to imagine whatever you'd like! But keep this in mind that you shouldn't insist on your ideas being necessarily canon!

D) You feel like many are mischaracterizing your favorite character and you don't like it, what should you do? -> Well to begin with, remember that other fans have the right to characterize a character just as much as you do! You can't stop them from doing what they like or expect them to change the way they are because of how different the canon interpretation of a character might be. But you as well have a great chance to inspire the fandom by your own ideas! You can try to discuss how different the canon personality of your favorite character is and even try to turn that into a character analysis! This way you'd not only avoid causing any drama because of disagreeing with someone's way of picturing your favorite character, but you will also have a chance to present your personal ideas and characterizations to the fandom in a friendly and polite way!

E) You don't like how an author is characterizing some of the boys, what should you do? -> Easy solution, don't read it. Let me tell you, I have gone through this a lot and do you know what I do whenever I read/see something that doesn't match my tastes and expectations? I keep scrolling! That's all, I don't have to like it, but I don't have to read it either! 😀

F) You're an author and a writing request is asking you to write for a character in a way you just can't or don't want to write because that goes totally against your idealistics and ideas on a character, for example: You just can't write something really wholesome and fluffy for Leona because you can't imagine him being like that, what should you do? -> It's obvious, then don't write it! You have the right to choose what you'd like to write and how you like to picture a character no matter what others think. If you want to picture Leona as an emotional and soft boy, it's totally okay! If you want to picture him as a cold-hearted and mean prince, again it's totally alright! Remember, just like fans you have the right to picture and characterize the characters the way you want to, and no one can tell you otherwise!

G) You've read a character analysis and you realize that you've been mischaracterizing Floyd for a while, should you feel bad or sorry about it? -> Of course not!! Even if you were mischaracterizing him, keep this mind that there's nothing wrong with picturing Floyd as the way you want him to be! As long as you don't claim your headcanons to be canon and share stuff like "Canon from is definitely like this" or "Floyd would do that, canon! ^-^" it's totally alright to imagine him the way you like!

H) You saw someone saying something about Malleus that didn't match the canon interpretations of him. You quickly replied to then and corrected them about their wrong point of view and tell them how the real Malleus is, which kinda led to and argument between you and the person, did you do the right thing? -> Absolutely not! Attacking others out of nowhere and without any context isn't the right way of introducing the canon characterizations to the fandom! Even if you were right, keep this in mind that the other person has the right to picture Malleus or any other character the way they want them to be so if you want to correct them or try to get to know the canon character interpretations, you should do that from the logical and polite way.

I) Someone wrote a character analysis for Idia and said how they find it so annoying when people who refer to Idia as "Baby" and "uwu beanie". You often refer to Idia as baby or cutie yourself and the context of that analysis/general post some how got to you. You feel lowkey attacked and offended, did the original poster say the right thing? -> No, matter what the context is or how accurate and well-written that analysis was, directly calling people who have a certain way of picturing a character "Annoying" is rude no matter how you think of it. Even if the original poster were right about Idia not being UWU, their way of wording their sentence wasn't really pleasant; keep this, in mind that everyone in the fandom is free to picture Idia as they like and it doesn't even matter if you don't like it or not! If you're going to write an analysis/essay regarding a character's personality, remember that you should prove your point and disagree with opposite opinions through logical reasoning and explaining your point, NOT by offending and attacking other ideas by savage contexts like "You have to stop saying that Idia is like this", "I hate it when people say Idia is like this", " It's so annoying to see people saying Idia is like this... "

4) What's with the character analyses then?

There's a difference from the canon and fanon interpretations of a character, this is a truth which cannot be denied. But it's important to remember that just because a canon interpretation of a character exists, you can no longer enjoy the fanon interpretations!

Even I, for example, enjoy picturing someone like Malleus as an purely evil being like Maleficent herself because I enjoy seeing him as a perfect figure for "Mister of all Evil", but in my Malleus analysis post I explained how we should NOT think that Malleus is nothing but pure evil or a heartless monster! See, this is the difference I've been talking about. I'm pretty well-familiar with the canon Malleus, but I'm also enjoying the my own fanon Malleus and I know that the Evil Malleus I admire is a fanon one, not the canon one!

The thing is, character analyses aren't meant to be a way to hold anyone back from enjoying their fanon interpretations or imagining what they like, they aren't call out posts either. They are simply a way of getting to know the characters as if you're getting to know one of your irl friends. You come to think of them, see how deep their personalities are and get to learn more about them!

It's true that reading a character analysis might make you realize that you've been somehow mischaracterizing a character but this, isn't anything to be sorry or frustrated about! Character analyses are written to learn us more about our favorite characters, or as I like to name it, they want to show us that they're a lot more that we may imagine them to be!

Now, you may wonder how can we write a good character analysis without getting out of the line, offending anyone or giving out any cheap information?

I, personally, am pretty strict when asked to do a character analysis. Doesn't matter if I like the character or not, I'd try to judge them nonetheless. You HAVE to talk about both good features and bad features, and you must strictly avoid your analysis from getting personal; you have to make sure that your personal thoughts, feelings and emotions regarding a character aren't effecting your analysis. You shouldn't be writing it in a way to show off with your analytical ideas either.

Some people think coming off as rude would make them sound valid and acceptable, or they might just be used to being a little offensive in general, but as I explained in part 3-I, I won't recommend using any harsh or mean languages at all. Let me note that your way of wording your ideas is crazily important and if you're not careful enough with what you say and how you describe your ideas, your post would be not only be not much helpful as an analysis but also a cause of more drama and arguments. Also, keep this in mind that even the best of character analyses can't totally catch the characters' personalities correctly because we do not own them! Twisted wonderland's characters are a property of aniplex and neither me not anyone else in this fandom has the right to claim what a character is 100% like unless Disney officially releases those details!

Writing character analyses can be hard, from finding enough of hints to defend your point to choosing the right Grammer and way of speaking to avoid any further misunderstandings. But remember, those who write character analyses have no right to attack anyone because of them (They can oppose to different opinions of course, opposing ≠ attacking ), but keep this in mind that readers have no right to attack then because of their analysis either! See, that's a two-sided relationship. Both of the, sides have to learn to respect, both of the sides should, know, their boundaries and both of the sides have to be respectful!

Warning: When I say you're free to do or imagine whatever you wish to do, know that posting and sharing writings too has its own rules. Make sure to put the proper warnings, and avoid using any taboo or clearly impolite and sometimes, illegal concepts such as incest, pedophilia, etc.

I actually had a lot more I wanted to say regarding the matter but I'm keeping it short, because I know that writing too much would make this boring and pretty hard to read. Hope that it's clear enough and avoid the possible future misunderstandings and arguments regarding the matter. Please, this isn't even about twst, it's about learning to respect each other it's about real life. Having people read THIS is a lot more important than having them read my character analyses or writings.

[fallout-drabbles-n-stuff]

Hello! I hope you're doing great :)

I was willing to ask you, since our bois are so troubled, and living post-war is a nightmare, how the companions would react if they found out Sole was a psychologist? Thank you for taking your time ❤️

Cait:

•This surprisingly might make it harder for her to warm up and be comfortable around you, believe it or not.

•Basically from what she understands is that you take pride in invading people's minds, making it your business to know their innermost personal traits. Although this isn't truly the case, she treats it as so.

Curie:

•It may not be biology, but shit, she's beyond excited to be able to speak with someone in a somewhat similar field as her. She..she may not fully grasp some of the concepts you bring up, but she'll happily learn along the way so long as it means the two of you can keep "feeding" each other information.

•Might propose a collaboration in delving into ethical social experiments.

Danse:

•It's somewhat of an odd situation with Danse.

•He's the type of person that enjoys learning new things whenever they surface, so in that respect he's enthusiastic about conversing your former line of work.

•However he also opens up to you more than he would others because he feels like you may be able to grant some solution to his turmoil (having been canonically diagnosed with PTSD)..but he never fully approaches the subject.

Deacon:

•Greatly respects your study and may even ask you a few things here and there. Takes notes religiously as well.

•The majority of his questions will of course be work related, seeing if you can help him find different ways to manipulate the ways people perceive situations and such.

Gage:

•Ignorantly regards you as a therapist and becomes tight-lipped. Well, as much as Gage can.

•You start spewing about the obvious problems he has, he'll just punch you on the shoulder and tell you to shut it.

Hancock:

•Kind of in the same boat as Cait, only he is equally as intrigued as he is cautious.

Macready:

•To Mac, you're quite the oddity. He can't begin to indeed stand why you'd even consider studying something..like that..but he thinks it's kind of interesting.

•Not something for him..but he knows having you around can prove to be useful.

Maxson:

•Considers you a valuable asset to the Brotherhood, quickly granting you an appropriate rank equal to Captain Cade.

• Unfortunately is probably going to assign scribes to shadow you and learn.

•If you manage to become close to him, Arthur may also allow you to evaluate him. Nothing you say will probably shock him, but maybe you'll be able to convince him to stop stressing out too much. Eh..

Nick:

•Also sees the value of your abilities and knowledge. Probably even becomes friends faster because of your former occupation, seeing as detectives and psychologists go together like peanut butter and jelly.

Piper:

•Let's just face it..she's probably going to ask if you know how to tell if someone's lying and crazy shit like that.

Preston:

•Indifferent. You're his general .

X6-88:

•Rather enjoys talking about your field with you. Sure, he may take an interest in psychology in less than ethical ways- but for his line of work, understanding how a mind works is crucial to his success.

•Don't try to psychoanalyze him though, he'll see it and won't appreciate it very much.