#also i did cut out a bunch of shit. half because it was stuff i didn't like half because i needed to shave down the length

[once-vel]

(warning for a loud, sudden train whistle at 1:22/a bit under halfway through) on the topic of voiceclaim stuff i took a glados voice line compilation and did a bit of editing earlier and while this isnt exact i do think its highly amusing how well it works

[original compilation]

[ronearoundblindly]

how do the CE blorbos approach gingerbread house decorating? i saw this one on insta and the end result was just gorgeous 🤧 it also took them 20 hrs so which babe is putting in the ✨️WORK✨️ and whose is sliding apart bc the icing got too warm?

This one we are going to categorize because though they're all a little different, they fall into camps. Warnings for some suggestive language and a bit of jerkishness/prickly behavior... MINORS DNI to be on the safe side.

❤️💚❤️ A/N: It's not Wednesday (at least not here yet) but I'm sooo highly aware that I've been on hiatus forever (and that I still have a few holiday-related asks) I'm posting an early treat! Hope you enjoy ❤️💚❤️

No Fun & No Effort

Lloyd, in a malicious way, hates the mess. He barely likes it when you cook or back on a normal occasion, prefers that all of it be done and clean by the time he comes home, and will not be participating in this fucking foolishness.

You can *feed it to him* though, messily, or let him eat some candy and icing off of you...

Jimmy, in an indifferent way, just isn't interested. He works with his hands everyday, but this is fiddly nonsense, too much detail and too little purpose. If you ask for his help, however, with something very specific, he will do that small thing you asked. The whole house? No. Not a chance.

Fun but No Effort

Ransom gets into it--one of the rare joys he gets from 'projects' since there is absolutely zero importance to this exercise,--and he even tracks what supplies added the most fun. He's not...much of a decorator, the house ends up a disaster and a half that can't stand up any longer than it takes to snap a photo, but he doesn't care about that. Unsurprisingly, Ransom also wants you to feed it to him and eats some sweet decor off of you.

Andy is so sincere during the whole exercise, but this skill isn't in his wheelhouse. He's laughing, he's judging how terrible the house is turning out, and he just keeps going.

Structure but No Detail

Ari and Bucky are out here mapping the design. Perfect measurement and sharp edges. They've googled how to keep the perimeter from shrinking and burning first, how to cut a new, straight line if necessary, and the best 'glue' icing viscosity/temperature.

Bucky keeps his cool, rolls with the design and its flaws, but Ari? Uh, no. Ari can get pretty mad when stuff doesn't fit together exactly the way he planned. He's been known to bake up to four versions of the same 'wall' in order to get it right.

Then! and only then You...are there for making it pretty. They did their part lol.

Detail but No Structure

Johnny is the Jackson Pollock of baking decoration--it's a bunch of shit thrown at the sticky parts and Carpe Diem, bitch, DONE. My Little Ponies could not have puked up a more haphazard rainbow home. What else you got in the pantry that's colorful?!

Steve, bless his heart, is not great at the actual building but LOVES decorating. This dude does the melted, colored sugar to make stain glass windows and all. He can also get...a little too serious about the perfect proportions of doors and windows based on the height of the wall... Just walk away for a minute or two when he goes Full-Frosting-Pyscho. He'll calm down.

The Full Package

(If you count Stucky as a combo set lol...)

Jake--obviously--is into it. He has a ton of fun, stays goofy with it, tries new stuff each time, looks forward to the challenge, and is always polite and praising your beautiful work! (Minus one or two jokes about a sagging roof or lopsided little cookie girl on the lawn. Hey. He's just being honest. As long as you love it, he loves it.)

Mace may not be the most enthusiastic of them, but he has the patience to stick out the whole process. He zones in on a bit he's interested in doing *right* or curiously critiques something that didn't quite go to plan. If you get bored or frustrated, he's also fine leaving it be and sitting on the porch with hot chocolate. Maybe a wee hike will clear your head or a nice holiday movie watch...

Curtis kinda counts, but he eats so much of the supplies throughout the process, you can't actually finish a gingerbread house. Delightfully fun to attempt the build around. Never takes it too seriously.

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; Who Would... Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

[leo-fie]

Progress Pride Flag Quilt Block Pattern & Tutorial

Don't you just love the flag of our people? Do you have an inner grandma that years to make stuff? Do you want to combine these two things and make a queer quilt?

Well, I've got you.

Behold the pattern! And my lack of graphic skills, so I drew it on paper!

Basically it's a bunch of rectangles, one half square triangle and a fuzzy cut circle. I don't know shit about quilting and I was able to come up with it. Why centimeter, you ask? Because I'm German and that's what I'm familiar with. Why weird measurements and not jelly rolls and layer cakes and stuff? Because I'm German and quilting is not really a thing here.

Onto the tutorial!

You'll need:

A scrap of fabric of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, black, brown, light blue, pink, white each

additional fabric for the border

Cutting mat, quilting ruler, roll cutter

sewing machine

thread

pins

double sided interfacing

iron and ironing board

fabric sheers

compasses

Step 1: Cut everything. Duh. We'll take care of the circle later, don't worry about that now. The half square triangle is exactly what it sounds like. A square and then you cut it diagonally. That's why I didn't give the length of the hypotenuse.

(Note: I'm making two blocks at the same time, that's why there's so much fabric. Also this is a middle of the night project, hence the lighting.)

I'm using all kinds of different fabrics, different weights and drapes, some stretchy, some transparent, so I needed to interface some of them.

Step 2: Sew the rainbow together. 0,5cm seam allowance on everything, that's exactly the edge of the foot on your machine. Double and triple check that everything is facing the right direction before sewing. The seam of yellow and green does not get sewn fully, only 21,5 cm! That's important later! Also backtack there. Don't forget to iron.

Step 3: Sew the strips to the half square triangle. For this you have to switch between the sewing machine and the ironing board constantly. Attach the shorter strip diretly to one side of the HST, iron it open. The second strip of the same colour gets attatched to the other side of the HST and the first strip. Look at the pictures closely if you're unsure how that works. Also the strips are longer than the triangle. We'll square that up later.

All strips attatched will look like this. See how the two strips meet at the tip!

Step 4: Cut the rainbow part to size. The length between yellow and green is 22cm long. The shorter seam from before plus some seam allowance. The outsides of red and purple are 44,5cm long. These two points are the beginning and end of your cutting line. You will cut a little triangle from every single colour. Do this slowly and carefully. Maybe your fabrics have stretched a bit (mine did). Don't worry, it will be ok.

Step 5: The Y seam, part one. Y seams are tricky, but there's only one for this block. So put your strips part on your rainbow part and line them up so that the tip of the strip part overhangs the seam between yellow and green by about half a centimeter. Remember that it's not about the edges of the fabric, but where the seam will be. But don't sew all the way! Leave 0,5cm at the tip!

You can also mark on your strip piece two lines 0,5cm from the edges of the black. They should form a little square at the tip. There they meet is where the actual tip on the finished block will be. So place this spot directly on the seem between yellow and green and only sew right up to it. Not beyond.

Step 6: The Y seam, part two. Now, fold both the rainbow part and the strips part in half and if you've done the last step correctly, the remaining two edges will allign. Pin and sew.

I can't explain it better than I've done here, I'm sure there are tutorias out there. Good luck!

Step 7: Square up. Iron your block to that everything is nice and straight and flat. Then use the fabric edges of the red and purple to cut the remaining ends of the strips. Use the HST to cut the white. Be careful, the long side of the triangle is on the bias and likely stretched a bit.

I already added borders here. I'm making a pillow case.

Step 8: Fuzzy cut and raw edge applique. Double sided iron on interfacing is essentially double sided tape. It has two types of glue, one gets activated by 2 seconds of heat, the other by 5 or so (depends on the product). The second side is also covered with a paper that needs to be removed before the second gluing. Read the instructions of the product you are using!

Use your compasses to draw a circle on the protective paper side of the interfacing. It's actually two circles from the same middle point, see pattern. Cut it out roughly. Then place it with the rougher side on the backside of your purple fabric and iron for 2 seconds on middle heat. If you've just ironed your fabric before and the ironing board is still hot, wait for it to cool down. Also let the fabric cool down after applying. Then cut out your circle. The interfacing will have stiffened the fabric, so that shouldn't be a problem. Then remove the protective paper, place the circle on the yellow triangle where you want it and iron for 5 seconds. Let cool.

And you're done! The applique at this point is only secured with the interfacing, but it should hold fairly well. The quilting will secure it further.

And that's it. BTW, did you know that this design was made by Valentino Vecchietti for Intersex Equality Rights UK in 2021? Now you do. Happy quilting!

[maxdibert]

The double standards of HP fandom is the highlight of my day. I love the hypocrisy of “the marauders have matured” as they say and make up horrible things about Sev. It's always “they were teenagers, all teenagers do shit”, but they also ignore that Severus was a teenager when he called Lily a Mudblood, he was also a teenager when he believed that the bad side was a lifeline in his existence. But they always throw him under the bus, shouting like idiots about how Severus is “racist”, “fascist” and “nazi”. Boys will always be boys, until the boy is Severus and they will act as if an outcast child is the root of the entire world's evil and that their favorites are peacekeepers just because they are on the “good” side of the coin, ignoring that his “punishers” are part of the reason Sev is who he has become.

I couldn’t agree more with this. The double standards are wild, and the mental gymnastics people do to justify their favorites while trashing Severus is honestly fascinating in the worst way. Like, “the Marauders have matured”? Please. Sirius is 30+ years old in Order of the Phoenix and still acting like he’s in high school, picking fights with Snape just because he can. That’s maturity? Meanwhile, Severus is held accountable forever for stuff he did as a literal teenager, in the middle of being bullied and isolated, and on top of that, having no real support system.

The “he was a Nazi” argument drives me insane. Severus grew up in a broken home, surrounded by poverty, abuse, and probably a ton of internalized self-loathing. He latched onto the Death Eaters as a desperate, misguided attempt to gain power and control in a world where he had none. Does that make his choices right? No, but it makes them understandable. But no, let’s keep pretending he was just an evil mastermind from birth while completely ignoring that James and Sirius literally assaulted him for fun. I guess we’re cool with bullies as long as they’re charming and good-looking?

And don’t even get me started on Dumbledore. Everyone acts like Dumbledore is some saint, but the man literally used Severus as a pawn for years, keeping him trapped in this cycle of guilt and redemption while letting everyone else treat him like garbage. But oh no, Snape said a slur when he was 15, so let’s act like he’s beyond redemption. Meanwhile, the Marauders and their crew, who are canonically responsible for attempted murder (hello, werewolf prank??), get a free pass because they’re “fun.”

It’s the hypocrisy for me. Severus has to be perfect, repentant, and saintly just to be considered “okay,” while others get to coast on their charm and charisma despite being cruel, reckless, or outright abusive. If you’re going to judge characters for their actions, at least hold them all to the same standard, or just admit you’re biased and move on. P.S. Unpopular opinion, but honestly, Severus calling Lily a “Mudblood” feels almost laughable compared to everything he was going through at the time. Maybe it’s because my friends and I (we’ve literally known each other since nursery school) are a codependent bunch with dynamics straight out of a dysfunctional family, but we’ve had fights, arguments, screamed at each other, thrown the nastiest things in each other’s faces, stopped talking for a while, and yet we always managed to work things out. I get that Lily had her reasons for cutting ties—it’s absolutely valid, and no one has the right to tell you when or how to set boundaries with someone you feel isn’t good for you anymore. But the fandom in general blows this way out of proportion. I mean, I personally find an attempted murder, like the one Sirius orchestrated, a lot worse, and yet people don’t give that even half the weight they give to this incident.

[sky-kenobye]

Fic idea that I've been obsessing over in the last couple of days:

TLDR: Obi-Wan gets dumped on his wedding day, Anakin suggests they get married instead to save Obi-Wan the humiliation (and money), he agrees, they get married and nobody realises the stunt they pulled (except for the few people they told), and they both realise that actually it's great to be married to each other and that they wouldn't have it any other way, and probably get their happily ever after.

(A lot more details under the cut for those who are interested!)

Obi-Wan is getting married to someone (I was thinking Satine at first but I don't want to bash on her just because she's in the way of my ship so let's say an original character 🤷), Anakin is his best man, and it's a kinda big and traditional wedding and they did the 'you can't see your bride until the ceremony' stuff, so Obi-Wan is already at the city hall(?), while the bride will be coming later, just before the start of the ceremony.

It's less than an hour before the start and some early guests are already getting there. One of the bride's guest (Padmé?) is arriving when she gets a phone call from the bride, telling her that the wedding is canceled, sorry for calling at the last minute but she had to call all the guests and she was the last one. At the same time Anakin is coming out of the building for whatever reason and Padmé is like 'wdym it's canceled? The best man is here, and I can see other guests!'. The bride kinda panicks and hangs up, and Padmé flags Anakin down to ask what's going on.

He's also baffled because Obi-Wan didn't say it was cancelled, he's ready to get married and everything and he saw him about 10 seconds ago. They try to call the bride back but she doesn't answer, then they try to call another guest of the bride that Padmé knows. She answers and they learn that apparently the bride called in the morning and said that Obi-Wan had cancelled the wedding and dumped her at the last minute and they were each calling their half of the guests to tell them not to show up (which is clearly a bunch of lies from the bride).

They go and explain all of this to Obi-Wan who's confused and angry and heartbroken. He manages to get on the phone with the bride who properly dumps him, and by that time there's very little time before the ceremony was supposed to start. Most of the (Obi-Wan's) guests are there, and it's kind of (very) humiliating to have to go in front of all these people that he knows and tell them "wedding cancelled, I've been dumped, you can go home", and on top of that it wasn't a super cheap wedding so that sucks, and the catering is already ready so he'll have to throw away a ton of food? Not a great situation.

So Anakin has an idea: what if they get married instead? It's crazy so Obi-Wan tries to argue against it:

We can't get fake married! Then let's get real married!

People will still know I've been dumped and I'm pathetically trying to save face! None of the bride's guests will be there so i doubt it.

It was still her name on the wedding announcement. Okay then, maybe she dumped you like idk a month ago and I took the opportunity to declare my secret love for you!

And we got married less than a month later? It's hard and expensive as shit to cancel a wedding on such a short notice so we took the opportunity! It's not so unrealistic for me and I could probably convince you to do it.

But then we'll be married. Yeah, so? There are worst things in the world.

Obi-Wan is skeptical but not saying no yet, and Padmé is like 'honestly coming from anybody else I'd think they lost it, but from you two? I can see it. Not even sure I'd be all that surprised tbh'.

Obi-Wan's not having a great time and getting married to Anakin sounds a thousand times better than telling people what actually happened so he says fuck it let's do it.

They form a quick battle plan: Obi-Wan will go talk to the officiant to change the bride's name to anakin's (is it legally possible in any country? Probably not but let's pretend it is and that the marriage is still valid), Anakin will find them new best men/women (probably quinlan for obi-wan and ahsoka for anakin? Or padmé since she's already in the loop) and brief them on the situation, and Padmé will find a ring that fits Anakin (she borrows one of the guest's, maybe Owen Lars'?).

Only a few minutes late, they come out in front of all the guests, do a quick speech explaining the unexpected change (with a few lies of course), and the ceremony begins. Everything goes smoothly, Obi-Wan improvises very moving (and actually 100% honest) wedding vows, Anakin is crying and forgot they needed wedding vows but manages to put a few sentences together which are equally as honest as Obi-Wan's and make people cry too (they think he forgot his vows because of the emotion). They put the rings on each other, kiss and all of that, and when they leave the building they're both beaming so wide that it doesn't occur to anybody to be suspicious, the grooms look so happy and in love!

Then it's time for the reception and everybody has a great time, the grooms have a very sweet first dance, and they're all over each other the entire evening, how adorable! And if they disappear for a little while (Obi-Wan may be happy to get married to Anakin but he still just got dumped, so he may want to have a few minutes to breath in a quiet corner and get a good hug) then everybody assumes they're making out in a closet or something. Owen laughs at them for forgetting the rings (which is what he assumes is the reason they needed his ring), and they get a lot of friendly ribbing for 'keeping their wedding a secret' from pretty much everybody.

And maybe after a few drink they do really disappear to make out and decide that marrying your best friend that you've always kind of been into without ever admitting it is pretty amazing actually.

[frogsndogs]

So recently I watched this pilot short: Epilogue of endings. It’s about 12 minutes long, created by a group of animation students over a single summer. I had never heard of the project before it showed up in my youtube recommended.

It changed my brain chemistry. I watched it 9 days ago and I can’t stop thinking about it to save my life. The music? Spectacular. The voice acting? Perfect. The art? astounding. The characters? I’m already emotionally attached. Hotel? Trivago.

Listen, I don’t tend to watch of a lot of things anymore unless I’m with other people, and I have this weird thing about engaging in new media, I think because a lot of what I’ve been watching recently has been kinda disappointing, or very… I don’t know… it’s hard to describe. It just feels like a lot of studios are making characters shallower, relationships strained, and half-assing their world building. A lot of media that I’ve taken in recently is trying very hard to make itself seem edgy and serious and that’s not what I want right now and definitely not what I need.

But this 12 minute pilot? This is everything I never knew I needed. The characters feel like real people, with complex motivations and interpersonal relationships. They’re flawed, but they’re trying their best with the situation that they have. They have things, other people that they care about and would fight for, they have motivations and backstories that you can see the breadcrumbs of, but have not been revealed yet, and the breadcrumbs are so good you can’t wait for the whole loaf. The world-building is exquisite, built up enough that you can see the beginning, but still drawing you in with more questions. 

I have a more detailed review under the cut, with SPOILERS, but I highly recommend that you go watch the pilot. It’s 12 minutes of time well spent in my opinion.

So the first scene. We’re introduced to Lucy, Blu and CG. I think Blu is already my fav, lol. In this scene, we see the three characters playing eye-spy while walking through a forest. It’s a pretty innocuous scene if we didn’t pan up to the sky and see the sun having broken open and Lucy becoming emotional over having to leave town, and presumably the rest of her life behind. Blu doesn’t answer her.

So Lucy clearly doesn’t know what’s going on, and I’m wondering if Blu has limited information himself. Maybe even Blu doesn’t know why or how any of this is happening. Maybe Blu literally can’t answer her question because he doesn’t have the answers. Maybe it hurts, being so helpless and out of control, so he’s in denial to a certain extent, trying to pretend that everything is fine. He’s trying to keep this little girl, happy and safe and alive, while also presumably dealing with his own shit, and no he’s not doing it perfectly, he’s flawed, as people and characters should be, but he’s trying and so far she is alive and safe to a certain extent so way to go Blu! I think this will probably cause some tension between the two down the road, but for now they just keep walking.

I wonder where they’re going, if anywhere specific? Why did they leave town specifically, we see there’s lots of danger pretty much everywhere, did something happen?

Anyways, then we get to this scene of someone fixing what appears to be a subway train. He stops, pulls out a journal and we get some exposition stuff. We find out that the world ended, and how. And WOW. This whole thing was gut-punchingly realistic I feel. People blowing up the competition trying to race off into space when it’s announced that the sun is going to die out? That’s something that unfortunately I can see people doing. I wonder/hope that this will become a plot point again later on, and we’ll find out what happened to all those people. But anyways that’s not even the craziest part; the fact the sun broke open and released a whole bunch of eldritch horror monsters??? Yep here we go. And then the next thing hurts. Like a lot. Because the narrator says that ‘people who hoped to live out their last days in normalcy quickly found out that their life-style was no longer sustainable’. That shit made me want to cry. The want for a peaceful death, a calm death, a painless death, but having even that ripped away from you. This setting that these characters are in is awful and very terrifying, and we can see how it is hurting them, torturing them, but I got to give props to the world building. It’s good writing. They set up the plot, the problem, what’s been going on the past couple yrs, some mysteries, to both the viewers and the characters, and in doing so give us some idea of the characters that we do have. Because the characters that we do have are trapped. The characters that we do have are abandoned. The characters that we do have are survivors. 

And then we pan out to see the narrator having an interaction with one of the Monarchs. And this scene? Gave me chills, man. I was so creeped out by this. Acedia’s ‘I do not like that response,’ Mole’s utter helplessness to do anything, his clear, potent fear of the creature, the way that it just lightly touches him and he flinches. Then the frustration that we see on his face after it leaves, the anger that turns into tiredness and then hopelessness? Someone needs to wrap this man in a blanket stat.

And this is where I’m starting to think that Blu doesn’t really know the full extent of what’s going on. There’s a good chance that Mole knows about the Monarchs because he’s being held prisoner by one. It’s possible that Mole is seeing the world collapse before his very eyes, while Blu is just seeing the aftermath and not knowing why and I can’t say which is more terrifying.

The ‘I have influence?’ line is peak. I love it so much, I can’t even say why. That whole little interaction with Lucy saying that she takes after Blu, Blu being so genuinely touched and CG being low-key offended is perfect and I love it. It shows how close they are, how much they care about each other.

The the… zombie ppl??? I love the detail of how unlike a lot of teenage protagonists, Lucy listens to Blu, and gets out of danger. She trusts him to handle the situation on his own, and knows that the best thing that she can do right now is get to safety. There’s an implicit trust there, in spite of her clear issues with Blu not telling her things, and this is what I’m talking about when I say the character relationships are complex.

Oh fuck. The transitions? The way that it cuts from one character to another, each unintentionally completing one another’s scentences, and unknowingly engaging in conversation. It’s amazing storytelling, an amazing presentation and for some reason it just confirms to me that these characters are family. They fit together like puzzle pieces. I don’t know what else to say.

We get more info on our mysterious narrator, Mole, who is an amnesiac, and clearly going through it. During this scene we see a crumpled newspaper of what seems to be a younger version of him, winning an award for his dedication at being a subway motorman. His name is crossed out in black ink, so we can’t see it. Which makes me question, did he do this to himself? Is his amnesia a trauma response to everything he’s going through? Did something happen to the point that his brain decided shutting down and forgetting everything was better than remembering this one thing? And it hurts, because in the picture in the newspaper he looks so happy. So young. So alive. It’s a stark contrast to the man we see with bags under his eyes, talking to himself and becoming increasingly distressed. I read through the article, and again, props to the team, some other people might have just did random letters or whatever but they put in a whole ass-story, giving the viewers more info about Mole than even he has. We know he was a dedicated subway motorman. We know he was inspired by his father. We know he had a sister. But these answers only serve to bring up more questions? What happened to his sister? Was his father still alive at the time of he end of the world and what was their relationship like? Because there’s a chance that their relationship was really good, and that’s why he went on to become a subway motorman, but there is also the possibility that he was pressured into doing so, and the way that he complains about being on a train when the world ended makes me kinda lean towards that option.

Then we see CG and Lucy walking around the underground tunnels and we get more info on them. We find out that CG was created by Lucy’s mom, which begs the question of where is Lucy’s mom???? What happened to her? Is there a chance that she’s still alive? Does Lucy know what happened to her mother?? Or is this just another thing that Blu is keeping her in the dark about? Does Blu know what happened to Lucy’s mother???? Or— as you can see I am totally normal about this woman. Anyways.

CG is a fun character, optimistic and bringing a lighter atmosphere to the show, but there is just something… off about her in this scene. The disregard for the danger, the naiveté, the joyful voice in such a horrible situation, feels so wrong to me. I wonder though if CG chose to be like this, or a certain amount of it is her programming? Does CG know what happened to Lucy’s mom? I think CG was created to be take care of Lucy but it seems to be the other way around here, why is that? 

And then we get info on Blu. Blu was a solider during the war when ppl were trying to get all the resources to race off into space. I wonder if Blu had believed that he would be granted a place on one of these ships. (If he managed to survive of course.) Or had he been in the military prior to all this, and was just pulled along? This makes me want to know more about his belief system before and after the end of the world. Also it is implied by CG that Blu is carrying a lot of pressure, and I wonder how that will be dealt with later on… hmm… 

Also the music that plays when Blu uses his arms to pull down the wall? Amazing, I love it, I love the scene, I love the fact that he’s a cyborg, I am so invested in these characters already it’s killing me.

Then we see Mole almost (accidentally) kill Lucy and CG. He’s out of it, he’s the only person running the trains, he didn’t expect to have to watch out for anyone, I think that we can give him a pass on this. Blu doesn’t think so obviously.

(Sidenote: the way that Lucy curls into Blu, as he protectively shields her is so cute, my heart, help)

Blu is pissed. His tone doesn’t change too much, it’s light, but there’s this threatening undertone there that kinda creeps me out. Mole tells them he doesn’t have a name, before Blu forces him to tell them that its Mole. Wait… is he called that bc Moles live underground? Anyways, Blu wants to leave him to die there, which shows an interesting side of his character. Prior to this we’ve seen him take a protective, fun role as Lucy’s guardian but here we see this apathy towards someone who is obviously not doing so well. A lot of other people would be excited to find another living person in the apocalypse, but he’s fine just walking away. Is this just because he almost killed Lucy? Or is there something more going on here? In Blu’s bio on the rainbott instagram, it says that Blu was ‘left to die in a mysterious incident’ and it’s interesting that he feels fine leaving someone else to die in such horrible conditions. Again - complex character writing, props to the team.

But Lucy doesn’t want to leave him. This shows her compassion and maybe too her want for connection with other people. Blu resists; ‘Lucy that is the most unimpressive man I have ever seen,’ this line has no right to be so funny, esp with Mole just staring at him in the background. Did he hear that or is he too far away, too out of it? Then he relents, perhaps solely because of Lucy, or maybe also because of his own want to do the right thing. He doesn’t like Mole, he makes that obvious, but if Lucy want’s to adopt this strange hobo man, fine, if it makes her happy. He’ll do whatever it takes to make Lucy a little more happy.

Mole’s ‘it doesn’t want me to leave’ scares the shit out of me, and the way that he just freezes up when Acedia shows up… 

The scene when it talks about humans really creeps me out, and makes me worried even more about Mole. Calling him ‘entertaining’ and saying that he ‘belongs’ to them. It sounds like it sees him as a toy at best, and reminds me of the way that Mole said earlier that the Monarchs had the power to ‘turn Earth into their own personal sandbox’. Did Acedia get rid of Mole's memories for that purpose? So that he would 'belong' only to them. I wonder though, why Mole, and if there were others, if Mole had to watch those around him die, or worse when they gave an answer that it didn’t like. I wonder what Mole has had to do to scrape by and survive, what he’s been through. But Blu pulls him along anyways, kind of against Mole’s will. Like obviously being with Blu, Lucy and CG is better than being with a horrifying shadow monster, but aforesaid horrifying shadow monster is going to be pissed at him. I wonder how he’s going to react to that, if he’ll lash out at Blu or worse, Lucy for rescuing him because now it’s gonna be angry and he’s gonna have to be the one to deal with the fallout of that.

Then the scene where Blu pretends to buy tickets to appease CG? It’s for comedic relief, but again it makes me think about Blu. Is he doing it because he knows CG will be annoying if he doesn’t? Or does he genuinely not want her to be hurt? I’m not sure. 

Then the campfire scene. Lucy looks away when Blu removes his mask, Mole tries to lean in to see what’s behind it. Blu doesn’t like this, I assume it’s a sensitive subject, but Mole is again, kind of out of it. Mole is scared of Blu and Blu clearly knows this, even kinda uses it to freak him out. I’m looking forwards to see that relationship developing, maybe one that contrasts Mole’s relationship with Acedia, I dunno, someone who cares about him in this really twisted way that hurts him, and someone who at first doesn’t care at all(at first), but still takes care of him in spite of it. I dunno… just vibes.

And Lucy’s little ‘what if we tell ghost stories around the fire’ breaks my heart. It’s like she too, is in denial to a certain extent. This is just a fun camping trip not the end of the world. Everything is fine. Everything will be fine.

Then the post-credit scene. There’s presumably, something left of the government that is working to try and deal with the Monarchs, which gives me hope that there might be a way to stop them, a way to stop all this death and destruction. I am curious about what’s left of this order, what the gov was like during the war, and how they’re operating now. Also the way the commander calls the droid C21, and the way that CG is called CG, and the way that he says ‘find the girl’ and C21 frowns and does this have something to do with Lucy’s mom??????? What does any of this have to do with Lucy? Does she know more than she’s letting on, or does not even she know what she knows??? Help I need answers.

Also all the characters in the credits. I desperately hope that they find the main cast and all become friends pls.

CG’s little song is beautiful and I think that it embodies the heart of the show. Like I said earlier a lot of the stuff I’ve watched recently tries very hard to be dark and edgy and a dystopian show where all the characters have been trapped and abandoned and tortured is the perfect setup for some grim and gritty TV. But it’s… not. The characters are funny and lighthearted and smiling in spite of all the shit that’s going on around them. The characters are trying to be nice, to be good. They are connected, they are a family. It is a dystopian setting for sure, but I think that the story is about family, about love and caring for each other. The story is about Blu, Lucy and CG playing eye-spy. The story is about Lucy smiling when she tells Blu her mom said he was a bad influence. The story is about CG wanting Blu to get some rest and take a break. The story is about Mole’s desperate panic at trying to stop the train before it hits Lucy, and Lucy not wanting to leave him to die. The story is about four people sitting around a fire, listening to music.

I really love this story, and I hope to see more of it one day. It’s really beautiful.

[justagalwhowrites]

Lavender - Ch. 25

You bond with a student and try to take matters into your own hands at the clinic. A continuation of Lavender Ch. 1-24 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Smut! (Unprotected P in V sex - don't be dumb), canon typical violence. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI, 18+.

Length: 5.6k

Tuesday, September 14, 2021 - Five and a Half Years Later

“So fucking cool.” 

The small girl standing in the corner of your classroom hadn’t noticed you yet. 

You’d gone down to refill your water bottle at the start of your lunch period, leaving an empty classroom and coming back to find a girl you didn’t know running her fingers over the worn spines of the books on the bookshelf you’d made out of scrap wood and cinderblocks. You just watched her silently for a moment, leaning against the doorframe, as she worked her way to the mural of the solar system you had on one wall. You’d been meaning to touch it up but it kept falling to the bottom of the list of things to get done. 

The girl didn’t seem to mind, craning her neck as she took it in. 

“Strong language,” you said, finally speaking up. She jumped and spun, her eyes wide. 

“Shit,” she said. You smiled. 

“I don’t bite,” you said, pushing off the doorframe and going for your desk. “Though I’d appreciate if you cut down on the swearing in my classroom.” 

“Sorry,” she said. She looked around the room a bit more, her fingers tapping on desks as she did. 

“You’re not one of my students,” you said, sitting down and taking a sip of water before grabbing some jerky out of your bag. 

“How do you know?” She frowned. 

“Well, I know my students, for starters,” you smiled a little. “But also, I’m guessing you’re a year or two young for my classes yet. How old are you?” 

“I’m 12,” she said. “I think, anyway. Not really sure about my birth date.” 

You nodded slowly. 

“So you’re not one of my students,” you said, watching her. “And you’re too young to be in my classes. But you’re in my classroom. So, tiny human, what brings you by?” 

She smiled a little at the title. 

“I had some science questions and my friend told me that I should come talk to you because you were cool,” she said. “And that you’d probably help me find the shi…stuff I was looking for.” 

“Dang,” you shook your head. 

She frowned. 

“What?” 

“Your friend said I was cool?” You asked. She nodded. “Well now I’m going to just have to do whatever you want, my primary goal has always been to make teenagers think I’m cool. Who’s your friend?” 

“Riley?” She asked it more than said it. 

“Dang,” you said again. “Riley’s a good kid, that makes it worse. Alright, what do you want to know about?” 

“She said everyone calls you Doc,” she said. “So are you like a doctor doctor or someone who just got a bunch of degrees and shi…stuff before the world ended?” 

“Doctor doctor,” you said. “So if you have questions about biology, I’m your gal. Other stuff I might need to do some research on.” 

“Oh,” her face fell a little bit. 

“I can do some research though,” you shrugged. “I like research.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yup,” you nodded. “Pretty much the whole reason I became a scientist to begin with, research is fun. So tell me what you want to know about and I’ll see what I can find for you.” 

“I really want to know about space,” she said, sitting at the desk closest to yours in the front row. “It’s just so fuck…freaking cool and huge and we only just started sending people up there before the world ended and we never really got to do anything with it…” 

“Space is very cool,” you said, getting up from your desk and going to the bookshelves. “I lived in Texas for a while. I went to the space center in Houston with a friend and his daughter once. Definitely something to see…. How comfortable are you reading? Do you like reading? Good at it?” 

“Reading’s cool,” she shrugged. “I like comics best but I read other stuff, too.” 

“If I’m grabbing anything that’s too hard, just let me know,” you said. “Any specific questions you have about space?” 

“Mostly what people actually did up there,” she said. “People left the freakin’ planet, do you know how cool that is?” 

You smiled a little. That was pretty cool. 

“OK,” you said, making a small pile of magazines and one book. “These are the magazines I have that talk about space a lot. Give those a read, tell me what you think is most interesting and I’ll find you more about that. Go ahead and make a list about any questions you have, too. Either words or concepts you don’t know or anything you want more information about, I’ll see what I can answer for you and then I’ll find you answers for the rest. And then, for fun, there’s A Wrinkle in Time, a book about traveling through space time. I think you’ll like Meg, she’s the best.” 

You grabbed a clipboard with a piece of paper and a pen on it, handing it to her. 

“I’m afraid I’m going to need your name to loan these out to you, though,” you said. “Put your name, the date, and just write space stuff on the ‘what I’m borrowing’ line, I’ll know what you mean.” 

She took the clipboard and filled it out. You took it back, looking at her blocky writing. 

“OK Ellie,” you handed her the pile. “Think you can come back by a week from today and bring back what you’ve finished? Doesn’t have to be everything, I just like keeping an eye on my library.” 

“I can do that,” she nodded. She glanced quickly at a corner of your classroom where you’d set up some beanbags before looking back to you. “Thanks for…” 

“Want to sit and read in the beanbags unit your next class?” You asked. Her face lit up. You smiled a little. “Go make yourself at home. You can come by here at lunch and read anytime you want, my door is open.” 

“Cool,” she smiled, taking a magazine to the corner and flopping down on the bean bag. You pressed play on the tape deck at your desk, a mix tape that someone had probably made for a girlfriend decades ago but it had a good mix of music to it. You turned the volume down low and read while eating, glancing up at the small girl curled up on the beanbags now and then. 

Ellie read, a serious look on her small face, until the bell rang. She looked surprised that time had passed so quickly but she gathered her things and stopped at your desk. 

“It’s really OK if I just come here at lunch?” She asked. “Riley has a different lunch period than me this year so I don’t really have anyone to sit with…” 

“Of course,” you smiled. “Come by anytime. And don’t forget to take those notes so we can do some research, OK?” 

“Yeah,” she nodded. “Thanks, Doc.” 

You hoped Ellie would keep coming back. She was clearly a bright and curious kid, this school was almost certainly failing her at every opportunity. 

The school had never been great. It was part of the reason why you stayed, you felt someone needed to be invested in the students and their education and if no one else was going to do it you were. But it had been steadily declining the last few years, just like the rest of the QZ. 

A lot of infrastructure that had just been hanging on since the outbreak started to fold around the 15 year mark, more now that you were closing in on 20. It had been two years since you’d last had hot water, the hot water heater in your apartment going out after being repaired half a dozen times in the years prior. It finally gave up the ghost and so, too, had hot showers. Buildings badly needed repair and maintenance and the Fireflies had continued to make things worse by blowing up the stuff that didn’t. 

It seemed like the school you taught at now was just doing what it could to bring students up to be soldiers, not give them a proper education. When you’d started here, FEDRA needed people who could do a multitude of things, so a comprehensive education was necessary. The last few years, they just wanted muscle. Muscle didn’t need to know about the nervous system or the water cycle or the history of the United States. You were half waiting for FEDRA to drop all the pretext and stop educating students entirely. But, in the mean time, you tried to make your classroom a safe space for them, give them access to as much information as you possibly could. 

Your value to the QZ as a doctor gave you some leeway here, too. You were pretty sure they wouldn’t tolerate your methods and would just do away with you if you weren’t one of the few medical resources the QZ had. 

Of course, that value was seeming more and more limited now, too. FEDRA kept cutting back on resources. Most of the drugs that came in were opioids now, hardly anything for actual treatment, just managing symptoms. Tess was checking pharmacies for you on every run now and you were going out more and more frequently to find what you needed - Joel a silent wall who pretended you didn’t exist and you mostly happy to do the same. Even though you caught yourself looking at him more often than you cared to admit. 

Derek was less than thrilled with the situation. He still didn’t know much about Joel - your history became even easier to hide once you started actively avoiding him again - but he didn’t like your leaving the QZ so much. 

“There has to be another option,” he said one night as you were getting ready for bed, your bag packed and ready to leave in the morning. “It’s dangerous out there…” 

“Trust me, I’m not exactly itching to go out there,” you said, rubbing the lotion you’d left at Derek’s house into your hands before climbing into bed. “It’s hardly a picnic. But FEDRA hasn’t really given me another choice.” 

“Do you think other QZs have people out risking their lives to see what drugs they can scavenge?” He asked without giving you a chance to answer as he got into bed beside you. “Because I can just about promise you, they don’t. It’s not reasonable for you to be going out there all the time, you can’t help anybody if you get yourself killed…” 

“Then I’ll just try really hard not to die,” you kissed him. “It doesn’t matter if no one else is out there doing what I’m doing. I just can’t live with myself if I’m not doing everything I can. Soon things will be gone or so far out of date that they’re useless regardless of dosage so this is kind of a finite thing, anyway. But for now we have these resources so I intend to use them.” 

“I still don’t like it…” 

“Can we not fight the night before I leave?” You asked, pressing yourself against him. “I can think of way better ways to spend our time…” 

You kissed him and, at first, he reluctantly kissed you back. But it didn’t take long before his hand went to your ass, fingers sinking into your flesh, pulling your hips tight to his. He rolled you onto your back, nestling himself between your legs as your arms went around his neck, grinding his hips down against yours. You groaned into his mouth as his hands slid down your body to your underwear, hooking his fingers in them and tugging them down, tossing them aside before sinking two fingers into you. 

“See?” You said, grinding against his hand. “Way better than fighting.” 

He just bit your lower lip in response, making you laugh. You shoved his pants down before nudging him into sitting up. You moved with him, straddling him, reaching between your bodies to grip his cock while his thumb rubbed your clit. He quickly added two fingers to your pussy, pressing into you firmly as he kissed down to your breasts, taking a nipple in his mouth. You rose up on your knees just enough to notch his head against your entrance and slowly took him inside you, his face buried in your neck as you did. 

You rode him slowly, rising and falling on him in long, firm strokes as his hands and mouth ranged over your body, his hips pressing up into yours so his cock would bottom out inside you. 

“Don’t want to lose you,” he groaned, his mouth against your throat. 

“You won’t,” you gasped back, your body tightening around his cock. His arms went around your waist, pulling you so tight to him that the only way either of you could move was him thrusting up into you, his face buried in your chest. The tip of him pressed into the place inside you that made your head spin and you came around him with a shuddering gasp, his orgasm not far behind. 

His grip on you loosened after he filled you, his head tipping back to look you in the eye. 

“Promise you’re coming home to me, Love,” he said. 

You kissed him gently. 

“Promise.” 

The trip had been relatively uneventful. You’d run into one group of raiders, but you’d heard them coming soon enough that you and Tess were able to stash yourselves safely away while Joel talked with them and they moved on, no blood spilt. You came home with only a few dozen usable bottles. You knew you had a year, maybe two left of being able to scavenge anything like this at all. You weren’t sure what anyone was going to do then. 

You were still thinking about Ellie that afternoon at the clinic. It had been so long since you had a student seek out knowledge quite that aggressively. You really really hoped she came back. You were going to tell Andrew about her but he just looked exhausted. 

“You practically have a kindergartener,” you teased. “There’s no way you can blame lack of sleep on the kid.” 

“I can blame it on the future kid,” he groaned. “Jess was tossing and turning all night, she’s at the severe discomfort stage.” 

“As a medical professional, I can tell you that all stages of pregnancy are the severe discomfort stage,” you smiled. He glared at you. “But yeah, she’s getting pretty far along.” 

“I think she’s ready to come here, hand you a scalpel and say ‘please cut this thing out of me,’” he said. “She’s so done, wants to have the baby here and skip the rest of the pregnancy and labor part.” 

“If only,” you said. “How is young Miss Elizabeth by the way? I haven’t seen her this week.” 

“Eating everything in sight,” he said. “Think she’s having another growth spurt…” 

“Does she need cookies?” You asked. “Because I can make cookies.” 

You’d become enraptured with Andrew and Jess’ daughter, Elizabeth, from the second she was born. You could watch her do anything and everything, wanted to give her whatever her heart desired. 

Jess had asked for you and Andrew with her when she gave birth and watching that little girl draw her first breath had been one of the best moments of your life, even as it was tinged in the bittersweet thought that you’d never experience that with your own child. They’d named her Elizabeth, after Jess’ mom, but had given her the middle name Sarah in honor of the girl who you’d loved like a daughter. You sobbed the first time you held her, her soft perfection blurry behind your tears.

“I think we will pass on the sugar high, thank you Auntie Doc,” he smiled. 

“Hey Doc,” Kristen hung her torso into the waiting room. “Need you on a consult.” 

“Cookie offer still stands,” you said as you headed back. “If she wants cookies, I’ll make cookies.” 

You could practically hear him roll his eyes. You looked to Kristen. 

“Whatcha got?” You asked. 

“Well, it’s basic,” she said, keeping her voice low. “But there’s a pattern…” 

She opened up the chart. It was for a woman you’d treated before, Penny. Small things over the past few years, a few broken bones, lacerations that needed stitches… You frowned at the locations, the frequency. 

“I see what you mean,” you said. “What’s her living situation?” 

“Just her and her husband,” she said. “But he’s a guard…” 

“Shit,” you sighed. 

“Doc,” she looked at you. “It’s bad this time. I’ve tried to do safety checks before but…” 

“I got it,” you sighed, heading to the door. You knocked once and let yourself in. 

“Hi Penny,” you smiled, forcing yourself to hold it. She’d gotten the shit beat out of her. One eye was swollen shut, there were bruises around her throat. Kristen had already set a broken wrist. “How are you doing today?” 

“Oh, I’ve been better,” she tried to smile but her cut cheek kept it for being too wide. You did a few quick checks, seeing if she had signs of a concussion or internal bleeding before pulling up a stool next to the exam table. 

“So,” you said, looking at her. “Want to tell me what happened?” 

“It’s not that bad,” she said quickly, but her eyes were welling up with tears. “Really, I just…” She started sobbing. “I don’t know what to do, he’s a guard so no one will arrest him, I can’t just leave town…” 

“Hey,” you said, putting a hand gently on her knee. “I understand, OK? We’re going to figure the out. To start, we’re going to keep you overnight at least for observation. Maybe a few nights. Maybe a week. I’ll try to see what we can get worked out in the meantime, but for now, you’re going to be safe and in here, OK?” 

“Yeah,” she nodded. “OK.” 

You gave Kristen a few instructions and went back out to the front. No one was in the waiting room, but you lowered your voice, anyway. 

“Andrew,” you said, standing close to him. “I need you to find Penny’s emergency contact sheet, find out who her husband is.” 

“Yeah, sure,” he said with a frown, going over toward filing. You hovered by the front desk, trying to think of a solution. 

The QZ was small, too small for her to stay hidden for long. You could maybe see if she could travel as a passenger on a convoy headed to Atlanta under a different name. Elias might be able to make that happen. Then it would just be a matter of hoping that no one traveling with her knew her or her husband, especially not the guards. And that you could get her out of the city before he fucking killed her. You sighed. It seemed like things that were problems before the outbreak were just bigger problems now. Like the world had decided to go to shit in the most extreme way it could possibly find. 

You still hadn’t come up with a solution the next day beyond keeping Penny in the clinic for a bit to at least keep her out of harm’s way for now. She was getting anxious, though, certain that her husband was going to track her down and cause problems. 

She was right. That evening, you were in with a patient when you heard some screaming from the entry, a man’s unfamiliar voice and Andrew’s forceful baritone back. 

“Excuse me,” you smiled to the woman you were treating before peeling off your gloves and leaving the exam room. There was a heat in you, building, spreading through your body. White hot, vengeful, righteous. You’d fought for years to make this place safe and someone was threatening it. 

You ducked into a surgical suite on the way and grabbed a scalpel from an area that hadn’t been sterilized yet, holding the handle in your fist like a talisman. You went into the waiting area to find a man in a guard’s uniform - hulking, at least six feet tall - screaming at Andrew, who was standing behind the desk. 

“I will burn this fucking place to the ground if you don’t bring me my goddamn wife!” He yelled. 

“Hey!” You yelled, stalking up to him. He turned his attention to you quickly. “Get the fuck out of my clinic before I make you get the fuck out of my clinic!” 

“The fuck you going to do about it?” He started toward you and you whipped the scalpel forward, slicing the palm of his hand. He hissed, yanking it back in surprise and you took the opportunity to put the blade to his throat.

“That,” you snapped. “Get the fuck out.” 

He scowled at you. 

“This isn’t over.” 

“It is for now,” you said. “Leave.” 

He held your gaze for a second, spittle on his lips, before he stepped back. 

“Fucking kill you too, you little bitch,” he stalked off. 

The second he was out of the door, you looked around. Everyone in the waiting room had cowered back into a corner. 

“Everyone OK?” You asked. No one said otherwise. Andrew just looked at you. 

“Alright,” he said, coming over and putting his arm around your shoulders. “Come on…” 

He steered you into the break room before carefully pulling the scalpel from your hand. 

“You good?” He asked, searching your face. You realized then that your hands were shaking. “Yeah, didn’t think so, where the hell did that come from?” 

“I don’t know,” you were hyperventilating. “I just heard him, I knew it was him, I knew what he was after and I just wasn’t going to let him hurt anyone here on my watch and the only thing I could think to do was that…” 

“Look, I love that you threatened to shank a FEDRA guard,” he said. “That’s the dream. But he’s going to come back and if the guards won’t do anything…” 

“I know,” you were shaking. He pulled you into his chest. 

“It’ll be OK,” he said, stroking your hair. “We’ll talk to Elias, there has to be something we can do…” 

You just nodded into his chest. But you had a different idea, one that you couldn’t afford to bring Andrew in on. 

You ducked out of work a few minutes early. Andrew had volunteered to stay the night to fend off any potential acts of aggression. It made you nervous but he could handle himself. There were weapons on site in case of an outbreak, so he was armed and ready at least. You, on the other hand, walked straight to Joel’s. 

He opened the door quickly when you knocked, frowning when he saw you standing there. 

“Tess ain’t here,” he said. 

“Not here for Tess,” you replied. “Here to talk to you. I’m calling in a favor, think you owe me a few at this point, Miller.” 

He sighed, opening the door and letting you in. 

***

You refused to properly sit down, instead just leaning back against his kitchen counter as he stood opposite you, a glass of whiskey in his hand. 

To say he was surprised to see you was an understatement. You tolerated him on trips outside the QZ but said as little to him as you possibly could. You’d made it very clear that you were done with him. It killed him every time. 

“What do you want?” He asked, as though he would drive some kind of hard bargain. As though he wouldn’t just give you whatever you asked for. 

“I need you to tell me how to kill a person,” you said, chin out, defiant. “In a ‘make them disappear’ way.” 

He looked you up and down. He knew you were in your 40s now but you didn’t look it. Even after all the years in the QZ there was still something soft about you, something safe and warm and kind. You weren’t a killer. 

“Why?” He asked. 

“I have a patient,” you replied. “Her husband damn near killed her. Came into the clinic today threatening to burn the place down if we didn’t give her to him. I had to put a scalpel to his throat to get him to leave…” 

“Tell the guard,” he shrugged, watching you closely. 

“He is a guard,” you replied, shaking your head. “They won’t take down one of their own. He threatened to kill me today as he was leaving… I’ve thought about it and the only way to do this is to kill him. But I’ve only ever shot infected or euthanized people, I’ve never… I don’t know how to do what you do. I need you to tell me so I can do it.” 

His jaw tensed as he strained to hold himself back. Someone had threatened to hurt you - a guard, no less - and you just wanted a guidebook on how to handle it yourself. 

“No,” he said firmly. 

“What do you mean no?” You snapped. “Like I said, I think you owe me a favor or two at this point, Miller, I’ve spent a decade and a half helping to keep you alive…” 

“Derek know you’re asking for this?” He asked, all but spitting the man’s name out. He had no reason to, he seemed like a decent enough guy. He just got to touch you and he hated him for it. 

Honestly, Joel owed Derek at least a thank you. He’d picked you up with Tess from Derek’s one morning to go on a run and Derek had invited them into his apartment while you grabbed something you’d left in his bedroom. There were photos spread out on the kitchen table. Joel caught a glimpse of one of you. You didn’t look like you even knew the photo was being taken. You were folded into a threadbare armchair, a book in your hands. Your hair was a little wild, a ribbon holding it back from your face. You legs were bare, he could just see a hint of tank top and cleavage over the top of the book. Your face was the real draw though, totally absorbed, as though there was nothing outside of you and the page in front of you in the world. He hadn’t seen you like that in years. When Derek turned his back, he pocketed the photo. 

“Why would Derek know?” You asked. “He’s not involved. No one knows I’m asking for this and I’m just trusting that you won’t turn me into FEDRA for it. Tell me how to make someone disappear.” 

“Can’t just tell you how to kill someone like that, Kid,” he said, crossing his arms. You opened your mouth to protest but he cut you off. “What’s his name.” 

“What?” You frowned. 

“His name.” He said. “Give me the name, where I can find him. I’ll take care of it.” 

Your eyebrows knitted together. 

“No,” you shook your head. “I’m not asking you to kill someone for me, I can handle my own shit…” 

“No, you can’t,” he said. “You really think you can just kill a guard? You, who hates killin’ and hurtin’ anything thinks you’re going to just waltz into some guard’s living room and put him out?” 

You glared at him. 

“You’re right,” he said. “I owe ya. I owe ya a lot. Give me the name.” 

“You know what, Joel,” you snapped. “If you don’t respect me, just say so, OK?” 

“Never said I don’t respect you,” he frowned, confused. Ever since you’d found out he’d sent Tommy away, you automatically jumped to the worst possible conclusion about anything he said or did. 

“You respect strength and skill and you clearly don’t think I have any,” you snapped. “I still know you, Joel…” 

“Apparently you don’t if you think I don’t respect ya,” he snapped, closing the distance between you quickly, caging you back against the cabinets. Your breath hitched. “I know you’re smart, I know you’re capable and I know you’re not a fuckin’ killer, let me keep you from turnin’ into one and give me the goddamn name!” 

His body was against yours for the first time in years. You still felt the same against him. He still wanted to touch and hold you in the same places, still wanted to knot his fingers in your hair and kiss you until your lips were swollen with it. You still smelled like lavender. You still would rip him open and destroy him if he let you. 

You slowly reached into your pocket and pulled out a small piece of paper with a name and address. Your eyes never left Joel’s. He took it, stepping back from you. 

“I’ll take care of ‘em,” he said, putting it in his pocket. 

“Joel,” you said softly. 

“You should go home,” he said. “Make sure you’re in before curfew.” 

You nodded once. 

“Thank you,” you said quietly as you turned to leave. 

Joel waited until he knew you were gone to fuck his hand while thinking about sinking into you. What would have happened if he’d kissed you. How he’d have held your face, touched your breasts, fingered you until you came around him. The sounds you made when he ate you until he was drowning in you. The way you felt when you came around his cock as he drove deep inside you, so wrapped up in you that he almost didn’t know where he ended and you began. He came harder than he had in months, the memory of the feel of your body against his so close but so far. 

Joel got an early start the next day, going and waiting near the address you’d given him. He watched a man come outside and shook his head. He was huge, he’d have taken you apart. It would have been almost funny, you thinking you could kill this man without the help of a gun, if he hadn’t threatened to kill you. 

He let the rage fill him then, soaking in the heat of it. Killing this man would be justice. Killing this man would be a good thing. Killing this man would protect you. 

He came along side him, glancing to his name tag before he took his knife and put his arm around the man’s shoulders, pressing the knife into his side. 

“What the…” 

“Shut the fuck up or I’ll kill you on the street,” Joel snapped. “Walk with me.” 

He steered him into an abandoned building, taking him toward the center of it. 

“You don’t know what the fuck you’re doing,” the man snapped. Joel shoved him into the room. 

“You beat your wife?” He asked. The man just blinked at him in shock. “Say you’re going to burn down the clinic? Threaten to kill a doctor?” 

“That fuckin’ cunt send you?” He snapped. Joel wasn’t sure if he was talking about you or his wife but he didn’t care. “Look, I don’t have any problem with you…” 

“I’ve got one with you,” Joel said. “You threatened her so I’ve got a big fuckin' problem with you.”

“That little doctor bitch?” He snapped. He was getting worried now. Joel liked it. “I’m sorry about that, OK? If that’s your problem, nothing needs to happen with her, I’ll leave her be, I just want my fuckin’ wife back…” 

“That’s not how it works,” Joel shook his head. “I don’t take risks with her, not with pieces of shit like you.” 

The man tried to charge him but he sidestepped him and thrust the knife into his gut, twisting and pressing it deep as the man gasped in shock. He felt the blood spill onto his hand and he pushed the man to the ground. He yanked his knife free as the man gasped and blinked up at him in shock. 

“Now,” Joel knelt beside him. “You’re lucky, You hadn’t hurt her yet, or this would be worse. Sounds like you deserve worse, anyway, but…” he shrugged. “Rather be quick with it.” 

He slit his throat and waited until he was sure he was dead before he cleaned his knife on the man’s clothes and grabbed the blood splattered velcro name tag from the man’s uniform. He pocketed it, gave himself a once over to ensure he’d missed the worst of the blood, and left him there. With the building’s state, it would likely be weeks before they found him, if at all. 

That afternoon, he went to the clinic. Andrew frowned at him. 

“She here?” He asked gruffly. 

“I’ll grab her,” he said, looking Joel up and down for a moment before disappearing into the back. He came out with you and you just froze in the doorway to the exam rooms.

Joel allowed himself a second to just look at you. He’d always liked how you dressed the days that you both taught and were at the clinic - a combination of bright and cheerful for your students and professional and serious for your patients. It seemed most like you. His mind lingered on the feeling of unbuttoning your shirt when you got home, feeling how you melted against him after your long day. 

He wordlessly walked over to you, pulled the name tag out of his pocket and pressed it into your palm. You looked down at it for a moment, running your fingers over the stitching before looking back up at him. 

“Thank you,” you said softly. 

He just nodded once and left before he gave into his urge to touch you. 

A/N: YES THAT'S RIGHT WE HAVE ELLIE! WE'RE GETTING SO CLOSE!

Next chapter will likely be the last all pre-canon QZ based chapter (maybe one more after but I doubt what I have planned to wrap up all the OC QZ stuff will take more than one chapter) and then we will be off on the quest to bring Ellie west :D

(Also note, though it wasn't by name, Ellie heard her first Joel story today, did you catch it?)

I have a taglist, please let me know if you'd like to be added by commenting below :)

Thank you, as always, for reading and interacting! Love you all :)

Taglist: @paleidiot@ayamenimthiriel@ginger-swag-rapunzel@drewharrisonwriter@flugazi @pedropascalsbbg@taoyuji@starstruckmusiciansartghost@splendsay@bigboiseason123@jpbplvr @ashleyandring @mrsyixingunicorn10@sloanexx@ninaminaromina @lady-bellyn @hufflepuffriver @sarap-77 @storyarcscribe @mellymbee @jasminedragoon @lemonmeli @reds-ramblings@arizonadaydreamer@mumma-moonchild@blackroseguzzi

[lavenderfieldsforvr]

okay so i had a dream about morph.

i was watching like a lost episode of tas (or movie? it was some sort of lost media with the tas cast) and morph was there and i was really excited. the xmen went to some kinda hotel for some reason, i guess they were on vacation. but weird shit started happening, they were attacked by an unknown villain(s) and so typical xmen stuff ensued. morph was more a background character, like how they are in the first two episodes of tas, but i was just happy they were there at all. i remember they did get taken hostage by the villain at one point, to be like "we'll kill your friend if you dont do what we want" blah blah. morph cant catch a break even in dreams i guess. but that scene only lasted a brief second.

the really interesting part is the end before i woke up, when magneto showed up and was like we need to evacuate the hotel (this was set in tas so im not sure why magneto is bossing them around but oh well) so the xmen all climb aboard the ship with him, and turns out they were on an island (i guess genosha? which would explain magneto) and they fly off. but see, wolverine was like trapped under a bunch of rubble at this point, i dont quite remember what happened but he was fighting and had an incident and the xmen left him for dead for some goddamn reason. so it cuts back to the hotel and wolverine claws his way out as he does, pretty much unscathed. but when he's wandering around he finds morph still there (playing darts for some reason, i guess they got bored) morph also got left behind, which confused and angered me in the dream, but i assume they probably stayed behind for wolverine.

wolverine goes up to them and he's like "wtf bub" and morph is like "yeah so we're stuck here i guess. wanna play darts?" and thats right around when i woke up. i remember forcing myself to stay half asleep another second because i wanted to hear what morph had to say. i also remember they were the clearest part of the dream despite not doing a whole lot, it was like they were colored brighter than everything else. they were in their human form like tas but they weren't wearing their jacket for whatever reason. it was fascinating, maybe ill draw something for it idk.

[initial-lime]

Stardew valley “lore” ramble for my own game below the cut,, I’m like halfway trough my second year (first time playing) and have just been making shit the fuck up, if you correct/spoil me on ANYTHING I will hit you with my car. Applause and intrigue only

So,, farmer “hunter” (me :3) comes to the valley after being given the farm by mysterious dying grandpa with the shitty bed (I’d be dying too if you bed looked like that)

Spends the first 3 weeks of the game chopping down trees and weeding in a haze, as you do,

Eventually goes “oh yeah I should probably talk to these villager people a little,,”

I end up walking into the clinic after almost dying in the mines for the first time, like maybe,,, 3 pixels of health left, accidentally give Harvey a granola bar trying to talk to him (I did not know you can’t be holding items when talking to people) he asks if it’s “healthy” (Harvey doesn’t like my granola bars ): )

I obviously think that’s fucking hilarious, guy walks into the clinic practically bleeding out, gives the doctor a granola bar (that he hates) and then leaves.

I make it my mission to piss off harvey more so I get him a coffee the next day because y’know,, caffeine is “bad” for you, which APPARENTLY he LOVES, which is obviously where I fall in love with the nerd because he’s stupid and adorable.

I keep up my “charades” of buying him coffee twice a week, saying various things such as “this one’s poisoned for sure” meanwhile building up my farm and my skills, getting to know some of the other villagers also, like Linus and stuff (Linus is my bff)

Around fall I finally buy Harvey a bouquet and we start dating 👁‍🗨👁‍🗨 (yippie) winter passes without seeing him much (grinding money in the mines/fishing)

Eventually the first rainy day in spring I propose to my boy (he says yes obviously) and we get married (yippie x2)

Me and Harvey now live together on the farm (:

Specifically farmer “lore” vv

I like to think the farmer isn’t human, or at least not fully,, y’know we never hear about a “grandma” and like??? Stuff in the valley grows SUPER fast and the farmer is inherently very strong (can carry a bunch of stuff) all’at

So. The farmer is a supernatural creature sort of like a nature?? Protector?? Kinda thing?? (Inspired by ye’ Scandinavian trolls, because I’m Danish so y’know obviously my main viewing lens is from that perspective) we’re once they’re given/take a piece of land (grandpa giving me the farm) they’re bound to it and act as a protector and amplifier for that land, everything in the valley grows so fast because the farmer is passively magic.

The farmer can either have a “monster” form or a human disguise, for the first half of the game the farmer is in human disguise because people are generally distrusting of the supernatural but as he befriends the villagers he’s in monster form more and more (since that’s his natural look)

Since I’m Romancing Harvey I like to think Harvey had a suspicion but only found out about the whole monster thing after they got married but before everyone else finds out, he probably gets super excited about it since he’s a doctor and he’s like “omg,, you could study this” (nerd lol)

Uh yah 👍 there’s more but I think I’ll save that for later lol

[pianapplez]

Hello there 👋👀,

So I just found your blog and had a lot of fun scrolling through all the pjo show crit😂 I couldn't help but notice that one tag you left on a post where you said you had some beef with Annabeth's portrayal in the books 👀 Would you mind elaborating on that if you're comfortable with it🙈? Because I absolutely share that sentiment, but it's sooo veeeery rare that I see other people express anything like it... I've found that trying to be a part of the fandom can be pretty alienating most of the time, if you're not exactly the biggest most devoted Percabeth shipper...😅 And often any criticism leveled at Annabeth just gets you a smack with the "internalized-misogyny" hammer... it's even worse in the tv show now due to... obvious reasons...

Again just if you're comfortable with answering of course🙈 There is a reason I stayed on anon after all...😅😂

Really glad you asked because i finally get to ramble about this heheheh (going forward, know that i skimmed over The Last Olympian to have a clearer sense of what I meant because that's the book where Rick fumbles her character more than the others)

i'm gonna try to make as much sense as possible but short answer would be, she's underdeveloped. Long answer:

She really got on my nerves in the last two books, with the whole Rachel debacle and then the Battle of New York. I can't really remember a single moment in those books where she and Percy aren't bickering or having heated discussions, which really made me question their friendship status. Of course, it's not like friends can't fight and it obviously builds up the (romantic) tension between them, but it got unbearable at one point.

I understand she's a teenager in an incredibly stressful situation that didn't even get to have a normal upbringing- she grew up way too fast (run away at 7, head counselor at 12) while also not really maturing, which is not a problem for a character, if it is handled properly. Given the fact that I am writing this, Riordan did not.

On the surface, my biggest beef is that Annabeth is not exactly held accountable for her actions (ie. treating Rachel a bit like shit and going off on Percy for a bunch of stuff.) I know Percy is to blame a bit here: as far as we know, in TLO he basically cuts the greek world out of his life as much as he can as a coping mechanism. And while yes, he never apologizes either, he doesn't give her nearly half the hard time she gives him: always either giving him the cold shoulder (there must be at least one example of this in the entire series but i cant be bothered to look it up sorry) or starting an argument only to then storm off (see the "you're a coward, Percy Jackson!" scene, which is not the fairest example since she was confronting Percy about ignoring camp but also was a bit too harsh about it) (especially after finally reading the prophecy and being under the impression that he was absolutely going to die when he turned 16 lmao) or just straight up storming off (see, Annabeth reacting when Rachel shows up for the first time during the battle of new york). While most of these feel, at least to some degree, fairly justified given how the entire situation does an absolute number on her emotions, she comes off a bit brattish and like she's trying to rile Percy up, especially when it comes to Rachel, which in the context of a battle that could mean the destruction of the world.... Well, it reads as a bit childish to me, and i wouldn't exactly have that much of a problem with it if it was dealt with in some way (a two-way apology would be nice).

After that first impression, i realized that Annabeth is barely ever anything else other than a plot device (when relating to Luke) or a love interest (when relating to Percy). This might be because the books are on Percy's POV. Hell, on the third book he's even conflicted when Annabeth is considering joining the Hunters of Artemis, aka, when making a choice for herself would mean he loses her (which is fine and dandy but it feels like Percy is more upset about her choosing her own path rather than being sad about not seeing her as often); we really only get a few glimpses of her, as in, actually her when she's on her own.

Obviously it's impossible to talk about Annabeth without touching on percabeth, which also is, in my opinion, what hinders Annabeth's character the most. On paper they sound great. The guy whose fatal flaw is loyalty falls in love with a girl whose been let down by people over and over, and she decides to never give up on the boy whose always had people give up on him (can't find one of the million posts that talks about this right now but it always goes something like that) And yeah, the bickering is really well written! But that's literally as far as it ever goes: they don't ever seem to have fun together, because 8 times out of 10 the bickering ends up being passive aggressive, and mostly done by Annabeth. My biggest gripe about percabeth is that their friendship seems to be based off... shared trauma. Literally. Other than going on quests together we are given no examples of them hanging out, nor a reason why they would want to spend time together in the first place, not even a shared hobby. Yes, in the fourth book they had a movie "date" planned but of course they didn't even get to it, and surprise surprise, they had a minor discussion, and surprise surprise, Annabeth was passive aggressive again. It's hard to picture them having fun together when even the author doesn't write in any scenes in which they get along smoothly (and before you say anything, a scene in which they get along where neither of them is about to die, and they're not talking about previous adventures. Gets a bit hard then, doesn't it?) It's even harder to picture them as a couple when the moment she gets upset about something, she starts coming off as emotionally manipulative (see, again, literally any conversation with Rachel or about Rachel)

To be fair, the books are relatively short and don't allow many "filler" chapters, if you will; there's always something happening to keep the main plot or a minor plot point moving forward, but it's not like there is no room to develop the characters' relationships, especially when we're talking about the main char and what is essentially his endgame. As an example we have Percy and Clarisse, or Percy and Beckendorf. Their interactions are brief but still hold so much weight.

Worst of all, Annabeth could be one hell of a character; what's most interesting of all is how being a daughter of Athena she is still incredibly emotionally driven, which is displayed very clearly with her fatal flaw being pride: her telling the Sphynx that her questions were too easy was not smart nor strategic: it was completely impulsive. I seriously think she wasn't far from being the best character in the series had she been given more time.

I guess i have as much beef with Annabeth as i have with Rick for doing her dirty. I really could sum this up with: while her emotions are justified, she acts upon them quite poorly. And this is what i mean when i say she's underdeveloped, because it would've been nice to see her come to her senses a bit.

Would love to read anyone's opinions on her character though, feel free to comment, even (or especially) if you don't agree with me!

[thessalian]

Thess vs Performance Review 2024

Well, performance review finally happened. Not that I was particularly stressed about it - honestly, I don't have the energy for that shit. I know damn well they can't afford to lose me, and that must translate to a good performance review, right? I mean, surely they know as well as I do how much they can't afford to have me not doing even the hours I currently do.

...I had no idea quite how much they understood that. Not even last year's apparent triumph.

Before the review even got underway, it was, "Oh, hey, did you ever hear back about that monitor you asked about?" When my response was, "Nooooooo and I did ask again back in July, and I also noticed it's been giving me headaches that sometimes spark migraines", Scruffman was very much on it. As an aside - just to have it on record, as we were talking about equipment - I mentioned that I'd figured out why I kept having the electronic patient record system crash on me. It's not the server that's lacking memory - it's this very old i5-running POS laptop. I checked out Task Manager earlier, and it turns out that that fucking machine is quite often hitting 100% CPU and RAM capacity. Like, regularly. I mean, it's hardly a surprise, when you think about it - Windows is now rolling out some of its AI features onto Win10 machines, which is a resource hog right there on top of Win10's usual bloat, plus the various security features that have to be running on a machine handling patient data. But that old Dell just can't handle that shit without horking occasionally, in the same way you shouldn't feed very small children whole grapes - you have to cut them in half first.

Anyway, Scruffman was very much, "Oh, okay, we should be proactive about this because we want you to have all the tools you need." I was ... a little stunned, but said I'd email him a summary of our conversation about my current equipment so he could escalate it to Head Honcho. He was, again, very jazzed about this. I swallowed my surprised blink as best I could, and on we went.

Honestly, I wasn't surprised for long, because we got right into the "core values" section, which ranks a bunch of workplace stuff from Needs Improvement to Exceeds Expectations. I actually put "Exceeds Expectations" on a few more things this year than I did last year, and Scruffman told me it still wasn't enough. We had the same conversation where I explained that I just have very high expectations of myself. But he said something different this year. This year, he said, "Yeah, just I really want to make sure you get the maximum possible money because we really love having you and would really hate to lose you".

So ... I ... can apparently expect a raise?!? For some reason, this blows me entirely away. There's not a lot of that about these days. But ... I mean, hey, if he thinks I've earned ALL THE RAISE, I'm not going to argue with him.

Anyway, upshot was that I am apparently magnificent. Which ... I guess. I do my job to the best of my abilities and this is somehow some kind of miracle. Then again, given...

Yeah, there was a conversation about the others too. My dedication to prioritising workload properly (urgent cases, then chronologically) was lauded, and I did point out the cherry-picking going on. (Seriously, it only takes a look at the archives to see it. We're still on yesterday's long-ass bullshit and New Girl was grabbing the short-and-easys from today before yesterday's typing was finished. I can't blame Temp for this one because she wasn't in today, but I figure she does similar.) Let's just say that Scruffman was not pleased. He very seldom gets grim and determined-looking, but I guess given today's performance review, there was a feel of, "Okay, we're going to have to actually do something about this shit because this is the one thing that my star secretary complains about and it probably needs to stop". I can't expect him to stop it completely, mind - he'd have to be hovering over their shoulder at all times - but the fact that he's going to have a word at all is saying something.

Not that that helped at the end of today, or anything. By the time my performance review meeting was finished, my forms signed off by both parties, and my overworked ass was sitting back down ... well. There was almost nothing in the queue that didn't top five minutes. The first three on the list were 9, 6, and 20 minutes respectively. (Yeah, you read right - twenty fucking minutes. Of course it was Breast Guy.) Now, my meeting was in the afternoon, I still had some mid-length but persnickety stuff in my queue, there was a five-minute urgent case that no one wanted to touch, and I hoped that someone would pick up at least one or two of the longer ones by the time I was done. Just so that it wouldn't all be sitting there for the duration. Nope. New Girl picked up a thirty-second one from this morning at about 4pm and was gone after that. (I still don't know what hours she works, but I have a feeling it's not as many as her contract states...). Goblin tried, but ... nope. I did the nine and six minute ones, which took a half-hour between them because they were from one of our worst word salad individuals. I could obviously make it make sense - that's my job - but it takes time. So ... well, that twenty minute long Breast Guy monstrosity is someone else's problem.

Thing is ... there's a reason I try not to do long dictations at the end of the day. It's because by then, I'm tired and usually having pain flares. Today's no different, but I had to vent a bit. And maybe brag a tiny bit.

Anyway, happy Halloween / Veilguard day! I'm pondering treating myself to takeaway. I did good. (And also I hurt a lot and not-cooking feels like a thing.)

[whereismyhat5678]

HEEEEY, PSSST!

(do you have more headcanons???)

Oh yeah *cracks knuckles*

Get ready for some PEPPINO

(OKAY IN ADVANCE- I wrote A SHIT TON below the cut, and I think because of this I have more headcannons for Peppino than Gustavo- SO PREPARE YOURSELVES- Oh! And I also added Pep and Gus mixed headcannons at the bottom so if you just wanna see those you’ll see this emoji: 💕 Alright thanks! And enjoy :00)

- I said this in a reblog-, at this point I think I hc him a lefty, I KEEP DRAWING HIM AS ONE SO FUCK IT-

- Oh sports are his life support, it’s his saving grace HE LOVES SPORTS- mainly football and soccer (he used to play soccer in middle-high school) THIS MAN SCREAMS AT THE TV “GOOOAAAAAAAAAL” WHEN SOCCER’S ON (he’s just like my dad for real- :0)

- He definitely listens to old fashioned Italian music, his mother raised him in it HE WILL DIE WITH IT IN HIS BLOOD. But he also likes other types of music (he mains Depeche Mode-)

- He has the most dankest most messed up shat up car you can ever imagine that’s STILL GOING, he treats his car like his child though, he cleans it and is EXTREMELY careful with his baby (He listens to his songs in there and bobs his head when he has a song he likes, but he looks really serious, like he’s gonna kill someone- but he’s still enjoying himself)

- I should also mention that he SUCKS at driving, man has a drivers license yet he’s dog at it?! This is also why his car is so jacked up because he kept crashing it when he was younger- I think he’s cooled down now but he still can’t park right- This is also why he rather would take his pizza delivery motorcycle or Stick just drives him (since he’s funnily enough the only good driver-)

- His house is pretty small, and a bit tight but it’s okay once you get used to it, he tries to stay organized but at times he does tend to leave clothes on the floor. Of course his garage is the cleanest thing known to man, a bunch of flags (a big ass Italian flag-) and signs that say “Man’s garage” or “Man cave”. He also has another fridge full of beers and sodas.

- Have I mentioned he likes beer?🍻

(- And when Peppino’s drunk he’s either two things, a silly drunk: he’s doing stupid shit-

….Or a flirty drunk 👀🔥)

- He still has his war gear in a closet, he keeps it for memories (the GOOD ones) and just cuz he thinks it might be important still.

- He keeps a shotgun underneath his bed (for protection of course-)

- He also has a punching bag in his basement, a big ol’ red one, and he has it there to take his anger out 🥊🔔

- I think he has a bit of anger issues, not too severe! Just that he can get mad easily if stuff just isn’t going right, which is also why he HATES The Noise and Pizza Head, they’re too chaotic for him-

- When Brick was gonna stay with them Peppino initially just wanted Brick away from him but he ended up like one of those Dads that have their pet on the couch watching TV. He also play fights with him too like: he’ll pretend to punch him or he wrestles with him for fun-

- He’s an asshole when he wants to be, one time he was eating with his friends at a McDonalds and they were getting breakfast, motherfucker ate half his friend’s hash-brown and put the half he didn’t eat outside the wrapper to make it look normal. (He did this when he was a teen but he can still be an ass like this-)

- He uses a lot of Italian hand gestures, he uses his hands A LOT he practically talks with them-

- He speaks very aggressively in Italian, the amount of times people thought he was angry and yelling at them even though he was just telling them to hand him a napkin. It’s hilarious, Gustavo is the only one to understand he’s not angry, he’s just talking- 😂

- This even applies to when he’s talking in English, HE STILL YELLS- Like his voice is a big BOOM, yeah he can calm it down but it’s still relatively loud, he’s only ever quiet when he NEEDS to be quiet-

Okay now for some Peppino and Gustavo together x] 💕💕💕

- Gustavo’s species has their own language but they can pick up on other languages pretty quickly, so when Peppino wanted to teach him Italian he started slowly and BAM 💥 not even a month passed and he’s speaking fluently! Peppino’s jaw dropped literally-

- Gus can speak his species language at times but only ever to himself.. He usually talks in English and Italian around Peppino (Gus when he’s angry talks really fast in his language, it’s best to just leave him be until he calms down…)

- They speak Italian to each other sometimes, they switch between English and Italian regularly, but they speak English mainly. They WILL however yell at each other in Italian, mostly so no one can understand their conversation if there is people around

- AND FINALLY- like I said with the Italian hand gestures, Peppino uses them A LOT, and he mainly uses them with the other Italians and Gustavo, BUT MAINLY Gustavo. He taught him every gesture in the book so Gus knows what he’s feeling just by hand gestures.

Even some…. Special ones 👀…..

OKAY THAT’S IT-

[juniper-c]

Folks from the US getting condescending about people not from the states has to be my least favourite genre of posts. Like, i swear every other week I see some shit written in half baked (british) english slang about baked beans or jellied eels or rotten teeth and it drives me up the wall. Just a bunch of fundamental misunderstandings about a place they've never been too with little to no curiosity about what life might actually be like there.

Im only coming at this from a UK angle so cant speak for anywhere else but a quick rundown on all this shit states side people get wrong about our food specifically because thats what winds me up the most.

Beans on toast is a cheap staple breakfast food, not the cornerstone of our cullinary tradition.

In most urban city centers you get a complex mix of diaspora informed food stuffs, primarily indian and east asian because of all that colonialism we did. Relatively large muslim populations also bring in middle eastern influences.

Even what you might think of as a classic british pub will sell you a basic curry unless you're in the arse end of nowhere. This is not niche shit. Our whole food culture is shaped by this.

What you could call 'classic' british cooking like full roast dinners with Yorkshire puddings, propery gravy, sruffung, and all the other fixings are fucking great actually. Bit of lamb with mint, bit of pork with apple sauce, cut of beef with mustard. It goes hard.

Even if you are in the arse end of nowhere stuff like pasties, proper pies, stews with dumplings, fish and chips, and other sea side holiday basics that make you think of little coves in north devon are also good, actually. Yes its not spiced to all hell and back, but they incoperate herbs and vegatables and stocks in ways that give it a unique depth of flavour distinct from cultures informed by a more spice heavy tradition.

Say what you will about our shit (complimentary) chicken shops and rubbery high street donner in years of nights out blind drunk in student bits of the city they've never once given me the gastric distress y'all describe post taco bell.

Of course our mexican food isn't particularly authentic, the countries half a planet away and we dont have a large mexican diaspora. What we do have is tuned for mass market appeal by largish chains or sold out of artisinal taco food trucks that we all find a bit wanky tbh.

Spicy food exists, and we quite like it. Yes even pasty white tony who turns the colour of jam when he eats a medium hot vindaloo. Indian food is a cornerstone of our national diet of course we know what chilli powder is.

And finally nobody eats fucking jellied eels it was a victorian era poverty food and even then only in london.

Also our chocolate is better than yours because we dont put the weird chemical in it that makes it taste like sick. Eat a kit kat and die mad about it.

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia

I'm so sorry you've been experiencing difficulties recently. I'm sending all my love and light your way and hope you start to feel a little less shitty soon.

P.s - Do you mind sharing your tiktok so we can follow you there too? Or is it a private acc?

Lots of love to you <3

It's not private! It's just not updated very often. Overall I'm more active on Instagram. But neither are private. The Tiktok is very art-focused so it might not be what you're looking for. But it's also pretty harmless overall.

And thank you anon <3

The last few days I had to stop writing and like...quickly redo my schedule for December and cut it back a little, which always makes me sad, but I'm trying to conserve my mental health as well as my physical. I realised I met all the criteria for a pretty serious depressive episode late last week (I have, alongside severe PTSD, Major Depressive Disorder, which is the one that will kill me if I don't keep an eye on it -> though I'm happy to report I'm not like in a very like 'I don't want to live' space right now, I can just tell I'm feeling / experiencing a lot of the red flags that go in that direction), and if I don't act now, that tends to lead to pretty bad places.

So I've redone the schedule for December and that will come out likely on Friday or Saturday. And then I'll only be posting during January for half of the month, and not the whole month, and taking off two weeks re: posting. Hopefully these are the sorts of things which will head off me needing to go into hiatus because I desperately don't want to do that <3

I can already tell I'm doing a little better after being a lot firmer with some boundaries, and also just...with myself re: taking more time off. I wish I didn't feel so guilty about it? But that's not anyone's fault here, that's shit to work on with my therapist/s, lol.

Today I spent around 3 hours researching a response to an ask (whoops), and then realised - not through any one person's actions but a bunch at once - that I need to kind of stop engaging with facecast stuff (nothing wrong with facecasting, the problem is wholly on me there and I wish I'd seen that sooner and saved people some pain and saved me from some rudeness).

I put away the shopping (we have a really good grocery delivery system here which is great for my disabilities etc.), and had some raspberries, and put on the Christmas tree lights.

I was so tired at lunch that I could only manage a bowl of cereal (and couldn't eat breakfast. I think my therapist would be like 'why are you putting three hours of research into responding to something instead of focusing on eating food' but well, whoops? Lol. To be fair I thought it would be way easier to answer, but Tumblr's search function is SO broken).

I fed my wonderful cat, Maybe, and got some sleep in the afternoon and then did some writing (1,200 words) on Palmarosa. It's like 7.00pm right now, and I'm going to put up some chapter commentaries on Patreon and Ream.

Tonight I might do some watercolour art, and I'm hoping to finish Palmarosa tomorrow.

December is actually a hard time of year for me anyway. It's the month that has the most chronological / time-based triggers, and my therapists know this and I'm hearing a lot of 'how are you in the lead up to December' which is about to become 'how are you coping with December.'

I'm grateful for small pleasures. Like my dahlias are looking pretty awesome right now. Here's some photos of this week (some art I'm working on, Maybe being cute, or screm, dahlia, Christmas set up, T-Rex ornament, Santa Platypus ornament):

[hepatosaurus]

2024 AO3 Wrapped!

I meant to post this earlier (like last weekend) but then I finally started playing Baldur's Gate 3 and uhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh OOPS where did the time go. So before it gets even more egregious (and because I am eyeing my Steam Deck as I write this): here's my 2024 AO3 Wrapped! Already posted on twitter and bluesky, but now with more rambling. Here we go.

Word Count

So: in 2024 I read 64 fics and 546,908 words across 15 fandoms. That's a good 13 fewer fics compared to last year and 400k fewer words somehow, holy shit? I knew I was gravitating towards short fic this year (which tracks with my book reading too) but damn. My attention span really wasn't great. I had some definite dips through the year but my fic reading basically ground to a halt this fall. too stressed, too tired, too sad. December did bring a revival in both reading and general mood/ability to engage with fandom stuff, so an enormous thank you to sylvix week for being such a big part of that. Hopefully things continue to improve in the new year because woof. (also my Marked for Later is soooooooooo loooong lol.)

(continued under the cut.)

Top Fandoms

Surprise surprise. What can I say, no other fandom had that je ne sais quoi that makes me want to seek out fic seriously! Did some dabbling in other fandoms throughout the year, plus a little fic book club with friends that made me finally read some classics like astolat's Transformers But Make It Omelas fic (believe it or not, my first and only astolat, though not my first Naomi Novik), but otherwise I'm still very monofandom. I'm wondering if the Witch Hat Atelier anime later this year will inspire me to finally read all those fics in my MfL... it might! or maybe not! really depends. Like, I fully expected to read more Dungeon Meshi fic this year, but I think the fact that I am still sloooowly reading the manga (according to what my library system has, not scanlations), and have no desire to be spoiled more than I already am (grumble) was a big deterrent. And IWTV, which I LOVE, is already so satisfying that I personally don't need or want to fill in any blanks in a fannish way.

Top Authors

47 individual authors with a few repeats - thank you again mikey desmodus for your service and dedication to putting sylvain into so many situations. 🫡 I DID finally read fic by a few authors whose names I've seen around for years but never tried out, which was fun! And led to reading a bunch of stuff I might not normally read, which is also fun/illuminating.

Top Pairings

I'm still sylvix trash after all these years, water is wet, etc. What can I say, those two have an iron grip on my brain. But I'm pleasantly surprised to see more F/F 3H pairings creeping up in the rankings! Well, "more" is a relative term when you look at the numbers but there's a lot of great stuff out there. Good job None for holding on to the no. 2 spot, and as always I'm delighted to see my Rakugo darlings make an appearance thanks to my Annual SGRS Jess Fic.

Top Characters

Sylvain at 50% (down from 57% lol) - how the mighty have fallen...😔 Kidding aside, this is about what I expected especially given my top ships. It's always kind of fun to see who shows up in the 1s though, outside of 3H; we got Transformers, we got History Boys, we got half-foot adventurers! And below the arbitrary top 20 cut off, there are hockey players, kpop idols, one charming young man capable of being terrible™, a crotchety journalist-turned-vampire, and your average Napoleonic War-era naturalist/physician/spy. Variety! yahoo.

Ratings, Categories, Etc.

I told myself I'd sort out that Multi category this year, which did NOT happen, but oh well. Maybe in 2025. Explicit still reigns supreme, because this is fandom, but it's definitely dropped, and NSFW is down 15% as well (below 50% now!). Make of that what you will. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Tags & Tropes

PWP, Character Study, Established Relationship, Post-Canon? Check. But it was VERY interesting to see Humor break into the top six for the first time, with a not entirely insignificant lead over ye olde standbys Pining and Angst. not sure if this was due to my gravitating towards lighter fic this year (which would definitely make sense considering...how this year has gone) OR because I apparently made an effort to add the Humor tag even if the authors didn't? Probably a bit of both tbh; I definitely wasn't actively seeking out dark content (example: Major Character Death is an extremely mood-dependent tag for me in a normal year and even less appealing recently, and there are a few fics with that tag - by authors I like! - that have been sitting in my MfL for going on two years now). But also, there's a lot of genuinely funny fic out there! I want to keep track of those gems.

Etc: Commenting, Rereading, Reccing, and Bookmarks

I managed to comment on over 50% of fics I read in 2023, and continued doing so in 2024 (despite everything). From 51.9% to 54.69%, hooray. I definitely want to see if I can increase that number this year. Looks like I enjoyed/would rec a comfortable majority of the fic I read too, which is always nice, and got a little less wishy washy on the fic I didn't like (more Nos than Maybes in 2024, while Maybe had a solid lead in 2023). I didn't outright hate anything either. I'm still not much of a rereader, and bookmarks remain low like they generally have since I started tracking my fic (which is probably a combo of being mostly in a five-year-old fandom and well, tracking my fic in a separate spreadsheet). About half of the fic I DID bookmark were for non-3H fandoms too.

Looking Ahead

So that's it! I haven't actually read any new fic in 2025 yet since almost literally all my downtime has been spent playing Baldur's Gate 3 lol. but I am hopeful for this year! At least in terms of my reading (no comment on the rest). Despite my current BG3 fixation I will be EXTREMELY surprised if that translates into my reading any fic - tbh even though I've loved this series for over 20 years (it's one of THE defining video games of my youth, and the new game is fucking incredible), I've never been interested in the transformative fandom side of things. We'll see if that changes this year, but I'm kind of doubtful. Witch Hat is another story, but again, you never know. There's a ton of 3H fic I want to get to soon so I've definitely got enough reading material on that side of things (WIPs! new fic posted during sylvix week! old fic I've been meaning to read for a year now! pairings I'm curious about but have never really checked out!). Let's see where the fandom winds take me I guess. :)

As always, thank you all fic authors past and present! I appreciate you more than you can ever know. xoxo

[shiveringgroovy]

PART 3 HC ASKS

WHAT KIND OF COMPUTER DOES EVERYONE USE ipads/tablets are allowed im extending this to like phones and stuff i've just decided

errrm HEHEHE !! gonna do my favs for this :3

Sheogorath

not a big computer guy. probably has a fuckass nokia phone and has hit computers with golf clubs before.

haskill gives him a tablet to watch shitty youtube videos on

i know he fucks with really bad yt shorts

probably invented them tbh

Atsushi

has a phone and that's about it

uses agency computers for work and kinda hates operating them (they also kinda suck so yk)

Sotha Sil

INSANELY FAST RUNNING SETUP

like 500 monitors and LEDs and a see-through tower and a fucking gaming chair

blender king

probably built it all himself

he's insane

the electric bill is through the roof.

Fyodor (i actually despise him but it's funny)

so he canonically has the worst most diabolical evil fucked up setup known to MAN please get him to touch some grass i'm begging you

freaky ass medieval peasant that introduced HIMSELF to goreshit

discord is running somewhere there. trust me

Relmyna Verenim (did you guys know i like her)

also has multiple monitors, not as many as sil but yk

probably runs like super slow and she has to resist the urge to snap her monitors in half every time she tries to open up any program

minecraft girlie (i also hc her as trans she's very loser scientist transfem coded)

she spends most of her time in the field but she likes her computers to write down her stuff

Yosano

has a tablet and a phone

uses them sparingly, but talks to ranpo a lot over texts

Vivec

has the newest phone models. always buys them instantly.

they're a prick

probably has a fucking typewriter rather than a computer because he's pretentious

Ranpo

has a tablet and a phone, uses them much more often than yosano

he seems like he prefers to read on screens than books imo

it also makes more sense, he doesn't like carrying a bunch of stuff around so having a tablet would be convenient

will text people while sitting directly across from them

Dagoth Ur/Voryn Dagoth

has a flip phone and that's it

Jouno

bc he's blind, he's not a fan of technology all that much, but uses screen readers and speaks to type.

more of a phone guy!!

has cut a laptop in half before

Nerevar

doesn't believe in computers

Kenji

also doesn't believe in computers

Lucien Lachance

owns a laptop but never uses it

written mail type of guy

Q/Yumeno

would go apeshit on a tablet.

probably a really big art fan, so really uses them for drawing and games and stuff

someone introduce this kid to a pc with a drawing pad

also loves music, would be the only normal technology user on this list istg

Haskill

owns something for every situation

nothing too fancy tbh

has a home pc, a laptop, a phone, and a tablet

uses them all for his job and has them all labelled and everything

has games on his phone for sheogorath

Ivan Goncharov

it's cause you're always on that damn rock

hates typing with every fiber of his being

smashes shit. has absolutely crushed pushkin's phone before and pushkin almost shot him

uses laptops and pcs out of necessity, uses walkie-talkies for communications because he just likes them

Ocheeva

biggest spreadsheet fan of all time

has a laptop that flips into a tablet

she loves organizing things and presenting them to the rest of the dark brotherhood

they don't listen to the immense power of a girl with a spreadsheet. like fools.

Bram

mp3 player or a phone just for music purposes

pays for every music subscription known to man

last.fm ass bitch