#also i decided her age would be sixteen btw

[s1llym1ll1ee]

IM ALIVE I SWEAR

The cannibal guy didn't get me... not yet anyways UGHM ERM WHO SAID THAT starts aggressivly coughing anyways uh heres a natural interaction betweeen Bob and Malina [Malina is Streber's cousin for anyone who didn't see my last post btw]

rn Im working on a kraken bob and pirate cassandra drawing cause I saw they krakoned my boy so uh 👁️👁️ also I just found out the existence of Opposite bob..... I LOVE HIM HES SO SCRIMBLY SCRUNGLO THAT BLUE GOOBER AGH- Aight mb lemme control myself bzfore I go rabid since its twelve in the morning and my Mum's in tje living room watching the lorax-

[nic0-r0bs]

I am writing my 7DS fanfiction about the other Arthurian knights and legends.

But since I have to tie it up with NNT, I am re-writing some of the canon scenes. And since it got me thinking, I've decided to change a thing or two:

CHARACTERS

- Meliodas won't be groping Elizabeth every other second because SHE IS A MINOR AND HE'S KNOWN HER SINCE SHE WAS A CHILD, I DON'T CARE IF THEY'VE MET IN A HUNDRED LIVES, IT'S GROSS. I will have him respectfully keep distance, looking at her with love more than lust, partly because he doesn't want Elizabeth to get her memories back so soon by falling in love with him. When she will get her memories back, he'll be touchy as he wants (which is, a lot).

- He'll look a bit older too. I understand that he was supposed to represent the usual shonen teenage protagonist, but I don't see the issue, actually. He'll still be a short king, of course, because we need short kings.

- Diane won't be portrayed as a 15-year-old girl mentally. Just… no. She's 1500 Years and a mercenary, I refuse to have her behave like a child (and then having seven children). Her crush on Meliodas will be more mature, too.

- Elaine will look a bit older. I mean, like Meliodas, short people who look younger exist and are totally valid, but she's p3do bait and just… no.

- Mael will be central because I find that his character arc had SO MUCH MORE potential but they kinda just... forgot him? But it would have been so interesting to see him dealing with PTSD and paranoia, not knowing if what he sees and experiences is real or not, and all the moral dilemma lf finding out that he's been raised to be a weapon but everything he believed in was a lie. Also he never truly wanted to fight and k1ll, but then he committed atrocities while being Estarossa and... I don't know, I think it would have been great seeing him having a proper development and healing. Because I fell in love with 7DS because everyone there is a sinner, everyone is evil somehow, everyone committed something terrible (with the only exception of Howzer), but we learn to love and root for those characters because they're complex... Or at least used to be.

- Also it would be nice to explore Gowther gender identity and expression and make it more complex, wouldn't it?

WORLDBUILDING

- Since all my OCs are described wearing things that would be common in the VI century (around Arthurian period, "historically" speaking) (btw, I've had fun seeing what Celts were wearing during that time… Women were fighters and would also wear trousers), or, at least, in a fantasy setting, the original characters clothes will be a bit different, too. The Boar Hat uniform will be different, because I refuse to let Meliodas lewd on an innocent and clueless sixteen-year-old Elizabeth.

- Regarding the lore… I had a bit of fun. In my fanfiction, the Sacred Tree will be a "spawn" of Yggdrasil. I imagine Chaos creating the Universe with different worlds and the Yggdrasil connecting them. It just happens that one of its roots developed its own tree in Britannia, opening portarls to other realms: the Demon realm (in Cornwall, since in Arthurian era there were the Dumnonii, whose name resemble the word "Demon"); the Sky realm (both of Goddess clan and of the Celestials); the Fairy realm (the Tree being a portal) and the Giants realm (Megadoza stone being a portal).

- Also, there are the Ragnarok chapters in the mobile game, so that's the perfect excuse to put them there as well.

- Since there's different "parallel universes" I've also thought that time will pass differently in different realms. Faster in Britannia and slower anywhere else (since also in Purgatory time flows differently). This is mainly because this Whole "I'm three thousand Years old dating a literal child in my eyes" gives me the ick. I'm talking about Meliodas, King and Elaine especially. I also find that in some cases the math doesn't add, if you look at some character's official age (I'm looking at you, Estarossa/Mael, you're even 20cm taller when you're a Demon).

- And yeah, since I like history and mythology a bit too much I may include a bit of geopolitics of the British isles in the IV century and Celtic culture as well.

Anyway, this project has been fun until now, but since I'm not writing it in a linear way, it's time to work into the canon to tie everything together.

I may write a part 2 about my OCs, in the meantime let me know if you have some headcanons which you want to share!

Also hopefully I'll post some new drawings

[misiahasahardname]

Hii… 🧍‍♂️(I’m shy please)

Info dump on what you wanna talk about, I wanna listen… 😼

oh my god uhhh i don‘t know what to talk about hmmm uhhhh ok ok uhhhhh

uhmmmmmmm uhhhhhhhhh ok maybe an octuplets ramble? yeah sure an octuplets ramble LET‘S GO

when i was in p6 (4th grade i think?) i came up with a silly little story based off my friendgroup called the octuplets where we were, as the name suggests, octuplets. why were we octuplets? well, because i thought that we were all super similar, both in personality and appearance, so i figured why not write a story where we‘re all siblings? (i really badly wanted more siblings when i was a kid…). so yeah.

actually, originally one of my friends wasn‘t an octuplets, instead she was the adult sister because she felt ‚older�� than all of us (???????? girl why??), and she was the ‚caretaker’ too because for some reason i didn’t want to give us parents (ALSO WHY???????). however because of this i didn’t have an eighth octuplets because we were a group of eight, not a group of nine, so i just shoved in some random girl that i kinda knew (i later replaced her with abother version of that first friend, so there was a millie sr and a millie jr. i explained the two millie situation in the story with ‚millie sr was allowed to name one of her siblings so she chose to name her millie. again.‘)

after a while i decided ‚okay, they need parents’ so i created parents. however i didn‘t properly add them to the main story. instead, i created some CRAZY family lore (which i can‘t decide if i should keep or not…). so there was a dad, adam (NOT pronounced ahduhm) and a mum, grace. adam and grace were a lovely little couple, adam was a bit shy but hardworking and caring, and grace was a bubbly ray of sunshine but also gentle and thoughtful. they and their daughter millie lived a very happy life, until one day, when grace was pregnant with her second child(ren), adam got arrested for drunk driving + speeding. BUT IT WASN‘T HIM WHO WAS DRIVING. IT WAS HIS OLDER BROTHER ANDRZEJ WHO JUST HAPPENED TO LOOK A LOT LIKE HIM. that‘s right, while being chased andrzej was able to speed home, get inside, so once the police arrived they got ADAM because he wasn’t wearing his glasses (adam wears glasses, andrzej doesn’t) and andrzej had locked himself in the bathroom. i have no idea how that was supposed to work but this storyline stuck for AGES.

and if that wasn’t bad enough, when it finally came time for the octuplets to be born (i originally made their birthday the 24th of april because it would be stupid to give them the same birthday as me, but then i realised that was STUPID and a BIG MISSED OPPORTUNITY so their date of birth is the 8th of august 2008 now), SHE DIED, and her mother in law/millie‘s grandma/adam‘s mum leokadia (‚babcia lodzia‘ to the kids) had to look after the kids. however this wasn’t permanent, because in 2017 (when millie was nearly sixteen (her birthday is november 6th 2001 btw) and the octuplets about nine) lodzia‘s OWN mother fell badly ill and so she had to return to poland to look after, meaning MILLIE WAS THE MAIN CARER OF THE OCTUPLETS.

SUPER crazy. i was a rather dramatic story teller when i was in… p7 maybe? this was either p7 or s1 i can‘t remember. i made a lot of millie angst with this. but don’t worry, i didn‘t make her life HORRIBLE because adam was released on her 18th birthday! now if that isn‘t the best birthday present, i don‘t know what is!

i think most of the lore is alright and i‘m going to keep it, but i‘m not sure about adam‘s story… i don‘t know exactly how to change it though?

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT. time to get into the real meat and potatoes…… THE OCTUPLETS THEMSELVES!

so, y‘know how i said that originally the octuplets were based off my real friends? well, i decided to change that somewhere in 2023, because they were so heavily inspired by my friends, i got kind of… scared(?) of writing them, and i started focusing too much on the side characters. so i decided to switch things up a little!

so the octuplets went from aiden, caitlin, mia (shudders), zack, [deadname], millie jr, max/maks and molly to jakub, zosia, gosia, kuba, marek, amelia, darek and alicja. i decided to lean further into the Polish aspect of the octuplets, which i also couldn’t do before because i was the only pole. i originally made the octuplets half scottish on their mother‘s side, but i‘m considering making them fully Polish, since they went from being heavily inspired by my friendgroup, to being loosely inspired by my own life.

i think being an immigrant is a big part of the octuplets story. the octuplets live in a slightly poorer area where the housing is mostly council flats, so they live around many immigrants (and are (second generation) immigrants themselves). for the first half of my life i lived like this too, which was very nice, because that meant i was around many people who shared similar stories to me. (most of the people i lived around that weren’t scottish came from east europe, which is ironic since the only slavic characters i have in the octuplets are the octuplets and their family themselves and kat, who doesn’t become THAT important until teentuplets)

for the first few years of their life, the octuplets couldn’t really communicate with anyone outside their family, as their grandmother didn’t know a word of english, and millie was like. six when they were born so she couldn’t really teach them anything. so when they started primary school, the octuplets would be taken for special english lessons to help them learn the language. these lessons were where they met their best friend, laura !!(who is my second favourite side character to write (it‘s a shocker i haven‘t mentioned about octavia yet…. i will talk about her eventually trust me)) laura‘s super fun, she‘s got this slightly snarky energy to her that i love (it makes her frenemyship with jeremy even funnier to write for me) and she‘s just like. hfhdhgsjdb i don‘t know how to describe her she’s just really cool. love laura. she‘s awesome to write. (i made some pretty wild lore for her too— back when she lived in brazil she got a dirty peice of glass stuck in her right arm but she didn‘t notice so it just stayed there for a few days and then her arm got infected and she had to have it amputated— girl does NOT feel pain)

neurodivergence is also a big thing in the octuplets! besides gosia (who is autistic) each of the octuplets has a specific trait inspired off of me and my adhd: jakub has my ego problems and general theater kid energy, zosia has my seemingly endless supply of energy and intense optimism, kuba has my anxiety and my clinginess, marek has my habit of zoning out and overactive imagination, amelia has my EXTREME hyperactivity and poor impulse control, darek has my laziness and idk that one part of me that is just a sarcastic troublemaking dipshit, and alicja has my high empathy and my habit of saying things that are either extremely out of left field, nonsensical or accidentally offensive. though the ways in which they behave are more inspired by myself from when the octuplets is set (2018-early 2020 (teentuplets takes place in 2023 iirc)), there are some parts that resemble my current self.

the neurodivergence is DEFINETLY inherited btw. grace most likely had adhd (never diagnosed tho 😔), someone on adam‘s side of the family was epileptic (zosia epileptic REAL AND CANON (had to project that on someone)), and adam also had crippling anxiety, hence, kuba. i like writing kuba and alicja‘s dynamic because kuba is most like adam (including in appearance) and alicja is most like grace, it‘s very sweet. kuba has this protective urge over alicja… tbh most of the octuplets do to some extent, she is the youngest after all. however i think she has things under control the most… maybe not tho. in my first attempts at writing her she could be REALLY unhinged. she‘s a lot more mellow now tho!

OOOH I SHOULD BRING UP OCTUPLETS AND HOW THEY ARE WITH EACHOTHER

jakub

with zosia -> jakub makes a big deal of being the oldest but shoves most of his responsibilities onto zosia. zosia is super patient to he likes to see how far he can push her before she snaps (unfortunately for him she never does). he sometimes uses her as a pseudo-big sister and actually listens to her more than he listens to millie!

with gosia -> ohhhh he is so annoying. she‘s definetly his favourite sibling and he WILL make it her problem. when he‘s bored he will bust into the girls‘ bedroom to bother her a bit and criticise her for being a nerdy nerd and always reading. he does genuinely care about her though and feels bad when he pushes her over the edge.

with kuba -> somehow he‘s the straight man of this duo (which is ironic for a multitude of reasons). kuba is constantly terrified of The Consequences of things that don‘t matter. jakub (with his blind confidence) always responds to this terror with surprisingly sound reasoning. he finds himself dragging kuba out of his comfort zone a lot.

with marek -> they were a lot closer when they were younger, but jakub gets pretty bored with marek. he doesn’t care much about marek‘s fantasies— his fantasies are wayyyy cooler. however he respects marek‘s drawing skills („pleaseee draw me please please please“) and the fact he is a fellow theater kid.

with amelia -> god they are an awful duo. jakub THRIVES off of amelia‘s chaotic energy. amelia acts as an instigator for jakub‘s bullshit which is why he really enjoys spending time with her, with amelia he gets to bring his troublemaking to the next level. it is not reccomended to leave them alone for anything over an hour.

with darek -> darek is similar to jakub in a lot of ways, which he finds really ANNOYING. no one can mess with jakub‘s ego the way darek does. jakub gets really stroppy(?) with darek sometimes, but darek (who hardly cares about anything) doesn’t ever give him the reaction he wants, which INFURIATES him. however, he does still get along with him. they talk shit about people often (jakub because he thinks he‘s better than everyone and darek because he likes to criticise people (he also thinks he‘s better than everyone))

with alicja -> he is not a good influence to alicja. he loves using his big brother privilege to make her do dumb shit with him… it‘s his way of bonding with her. he finds it really annoying when people go too soft on her because she is just as stubborn and stupid as the rest of them… though he does treat her a bit like a mini-me sometimes.

zosia

with jakub -> she rolls her eyes at his i‘m-the-best, i-love-me antics, and sighs in disappointment whenever one of his dumb plans backfires, but she does enjoy that jakub-brand chaos he brings to the group. she‘ll turn a blind eye to his mischief sometimes, but she will tease him for his stupid behaviour. she finds him entertaining.

with gosia -> she has an extreme soft side for her. no one understands gosia the way zosia does. she‘s always had a close bond with gosia, helping her out with her emotions, trying to get her out there and make new friends. she‘s tries not to be as extra as she usually is when around gosia. i love writing these two actually

with kuba -> she finds him to be a bit silly. she tries to get kuba to stop being so attached/overprotective of alicja, but that is a bit hypocritical considering what she‘s like with gosia. she tries to be as supportive as possible, but she tries not to put too much faith in him because she knows what he‘s like. zosia loves kuba, but she really wishes he wasn’t such a scaredy cat

with marek -> zosia‘s willing to listen to whatever marek has to say. with how chaotic and uncontrollable the rest of her siblings are, she likes to wind down with a story from marek. she finds his creativity inspiring, even when he gets a little too carried away. he‘s her favourite sibling to play games with, and really appreciates the effort he puts in to making the games feel real (they totally roleplay on roblox together lol)

with amelia -> zosia, the beam of sunshine and sustainable energy source sometimes finds it hard to keep up with amelia‘s hyper as balls personality, but she tries her best! she thinks amelia is really funny, but she does NOT play fair and that can be a bit annoying to her.

with darek -> darek is a bit too negative for her. she really badly wants darek to engage in activities and actually do something because she HATES seeing people left out, but he‘s extremely stubborn. however she‘s not exactly someone who can do everything either, so whenever she has to sit out an activity, she‘ll chat with darek.

with alicja -> alicja is such a sweetheart, so zosia can‘t help but find her endearing. she hates to admit it, but she does baby her sometimes, but she tries her best not to! she‘s very supportive and encouraging of alicja, and, in contrast to some people, tries to keep her away from trouble.

gosia

with jakub -> she finds him… frustrating to be around, to say the least. she tries to tolerate his annoying behaviour, but she isn’t the most patient person out there, so she tends to lash out. she‘s always there to make some sarcastic remark when something he does goes wrong. she doesn’t understand why he‘s so attached to her while she just wants to get rid of him.

with zosia -> zosia is the person she cares about the most. gosia believes she will never meet a person as special as zosia. gosia struggles a lot with normal, everyday things, but zosia‘s support makes her feel so much more normal. thanks to zosia, gosia actually talks about her problems, rather than just bottling them up. guys i genuinely love these two so much

with kuba -> she finds him to be too irrational. she‘s a lot more of a logical thinker than he is, so his outbursts are impossible for her to understand. she can be a bit… harsh to him sometimes, so when he helps her out during her ‚dumb moments‘ (meltdowns), she gets confused, but she appreciates it. despite his irrationalness she still thinks he‘s saner than the others so they are pretty close.

with marek -> there‘s a bit of a clash between these too. gosia is grounded in real life, while marek spends his time making things up. she likes to pick out logical errors in marek‘s stories because innacurate information really bothers her, which bothers him because they‘re just stories and she‘s being boring.

with amelia -> gosia finds amelia‘s antics to be too overwhelming. amelia‘s inability to sit still can be very distracting to her, and she talks wayyy too loud. however, she doesn‘t mind her being a chatterbox, because she‘s also a chatterbox, and amelia‘s always willing to listen to her ramble, which she really appreciates.

with darek -> to her, darek is the only octuplets with common sense. like gosia, darek is a lot more of a logical thinker, and can understand when a situation is stupid. her one problem with him is that he tends to go with the stupid situations anyways because he likes to gloat that he knew things would go wrong.

with alicja -> gosia sees alicja as a mini-amelia, which means she sees the two in a similar light. she doesn’t fall of her baby sibling charm in the way the others do, she just sees her as more childish than her other siblings. alicja has the tendency to get into a lot of questionable situations, which confuses (and kinda impresses) gosia. she wishes she would stay out of trouble and be more mature.

kuba

with jakub -> kuba is impressed with how confident jakub can be, though his insane ego problems can be a bit annoying. he doesn’t show it much, but he does have an admiration for his older brother. he really does love his brother, but he does shout at him sometimes… again, he is terrified of The Consequences.

with zosia -> he appreciates her patience and support, and does find her presence comforting because she is very chilled out. he feels this sense of… control(?) when he‘s around her, like he doesn’t have to worry as much because zosia knows what she‘s doing. he admires how easily she can socialise with people

with gosia -> he cares about gosia a lot, and relates to some of her issues, but sometimes he feels like she doesn’t actually like him, which is very upsetting to him! he would try to control his feelings to make her like him more, but he found that too hard, so he started trying to help her with her own emotions instead.

with marek -> kuba thinks marek is a really fun guy to hang out with! he‘s a relatively relaxed person and everything he comes up with is very interesting, kuba can’t help but feel at ease when spending time together. he likes to share his own stories with him.

with amelia -> he tries his absolute best to keep her in check. unfortunately, kuba is not as good at handling things as he thinks. he likes spending time with amelia, she is really funny, but she gets herself (and others) into trouble wayyyy too much and she isn‘t careful at ALL so he‘s always on edge around her. sometimes he'll lose it and shout at her.

with darek -> darek can be. intimidating. kuba can‘t understand how someone can be so nonchalant, especially in high-stress situations. he also thinks darek is a bit irresponsible and lazy, and wishes he would help out more often.

with alicja -> kuba feels like he‘s responsible for alicja. he’s really protective of her, he can‘t bare the thought of anything bad happening to her because oh, she‘s so sweet, she‘s too innocent! he spends most of his time looking after her… he cares more about her than he does about himself! he takes his role as her big brother way too seriously.

marek

with jakub -> i'm not 100% sure about these two, actually. i feel like marek would miss playing with jakub, but finds his entitledment a lot more annoying than he used to.

with zosia -> he isn't very fond of being the guy who you only hang out with because everyone else is annoying you, but he really enjoys zosia's company. he's a lot more of an indoors-play kinda guy compared to zosia, but he's not opposed to getting a little bit muddy outdoors with her, as long as their not playing tag!

with gosia -> marek sees gosia as a bit of a killjoy, not just because her constant correcting is annoying, but he feels bad that she seemingly doesn't find any joy in make beleive. he wishes she wasn't so serious all the time. she's a kid like the rest of her siblings, she should be enjoying herself!

with kuba -> he likes how engaged he gets with his long rambles and strange stories. he doesn't notice how different kuba is like around him because he's oblivious like that, but i'm sure if he knew how comfortable kuba was around him he'd cry with joy, but alas, he stays unaware... marek just wishes kuba was less protective of alicja because it ruina their games sometimes.

with amelia -> marek gets along brilliantly with amelia! amelia supplies him with crazy ideas for stories, and marek refines those ideas, writes them down and adds some drawings. amelia is a great creative partner for marek, and a great investigative partner too! marek gets ten times nosier around amelia.

with darek -> like gosia, marek thinks darek is a little bit boring. he's tried to get him to unlock his creative potential, to no avail. he doesn't think darek has any outstanding input om his work, but he is a great person to scheme with thanks to his mischevious nature.

with alicja -> like kuba, alicja is very engaged in the things marek does, and marek adores this! though she doesn't add much to his ideas, she comes up with plenty of her own, which he loves to listen to. marek loves everything she comes up with and is the only person he will share his special stationary with. sometimes he draws stuff just so she has something to colour in.

amelia

with jakub -> jakub is amelia's favourite person to cause chaos with! unlike alicja, whom she has to carefully convince to cause mischeif, jakub just goes with whatever dangerous nonsense she wants to do and she LOVES IT. her lack of impulse control and his lack of common sense leads to some seriously insane scenarios. jakub truly is amelia's funnest sibling!

with zosia -> she sees zosia as a lame, good-two-shoes version of herself. that's right, amelia sees zosia, the lenient sister, as a bit of a stick in the mud, mostly for petty reasons. amelia doesn't dislike her sister by any means, zosia is just as caring to her as she is anyone else, but she just likes winding her up. amelia wants to be the first person to make zosia PROPERLY mad.

with gosia -> though she's a huge nerd who actually LIKES reading, amelia finds gosia really interesting. she loves how invested she gets and how excited she sounds when talking about a topic she finds interesting. whenever amelia gets gosia going on about something she feels like she's unlocked the real gosia. unfortunately it's not all good because gosia doesn't really tolerate her nonsense.

with kuba -> amelia thinks kuba worries way too much for his own good. she tries to get him to chill out on her own, creative ways which only ends in him being more stressed. her idea of what's good for people is vastly different to kuba's, which causes just as much trouble as you'd think. her lack of responsibility has caused a few freak outs....

with marek -> marek is amelia's adventure buddy. she loves how he's able to turn everything into a mystery to be solved, or how he makes the unreal feel real! her favourite thing to do with him is to play detective, though their cases have the habit of becoming conspiracies...

with darek -> darek is an annoying know-it-all who doesn't say anything until it's all messed up and then even then all he'll say is 'told you so!'! amelia finds darek and his uncaring attitude frustrating, however she does find him really useful. he's very cunning and actually willing to help her with her schemes, which they always get away with because amelia's good at lying her way out of things and people are so used to darek doing Nothing he never gets in trouble for doing Something.

with alicja -> amelia is an even worse influence on alicja than jakub is. amelia tends to behave the same way around everyone, which helped alicja develop a more mischevious, fun loving side (which amelia is verg proud of, by the way). amelia will sometimes use alicja to get things, but otherwise she treats her really well.

darek

with jakub ->

[katnissdoesnotfollowback]

In your opinion, please rate thg movie series with 1-5 scale.

(1 = I hate it, 3=neutral, 5 = I love it.)

1.The Hunger Games :

Things that you like :

Things that you don't like :

2.Cathing Fire :

Things that you like :

Things that you don't like :

3.Mockingjay

Movie 1 :

Movie 2 :

Things that you like :

Things that you don't like :

Thank you 😊

@curiousnonny

So let me preface my ratings here by saying that I really think these books are already so well edited in terms of necessary content that making a movie version of any of them is a mistake. Maybe I'm biased and greedy, but I honestly feel like 99% of the scenes in the books play a crucial role in either plot, character, or theme development and removing them waters down the story too much, in my opinion. I would much rather have seen a series version on screen than a movie. Not to mention, Collins made her name as a writer in television, and you can SEE IT in how she writes her novels. It's structured like a TV series so it should've been shot like a TV series. Anyways. So my rankings are gonna be... kinda low for the movies. Sorry not sorry.

But also... my thoughts on this are fresh. My youngest was supposed to read The Hunger Games with his 6th grade class. The teacher sent home a form requesting parents' permission to do so. I signed it gladly and sent it back, but apparently there were a lot of parents who sent it back with complaints instead of approval. Enough that the class read the first Percy Jackson book instead. I'm fine with that too, lol, especially since my kiddo really liked it and is now on book five of that series. I've been trying to reread along with him and will hopefully be catching up to him this week, lol.

After his teacher switched books for the class reading, he and I decided we'd read THG books together once he's done with PJO, but then, my oldest skipped a field trip he really didn't wanna go on and wound up staying at school and watching... The Hunger Games and part of Catching Fire. He came home with QUESTIONS, which immediately sparked a "Hey, not fair!" from the youngest and prompted a movie marathon. We made it through all four movies back in March, and I'm still not forgiven for not warning him about Finnick btw...

Okay enough story time. *cracks knuckles*

The Hunger Games

Ranking: 2/5

Things I don't like: Ugh where to start? The removal of Madge and therefore the significance of Katniss's mockingjay pin as a symbol of wealth and power bestowed by the Capitol only to be flipped on its head and turned into a symbol of rebellion. Also, the implications of removing Madge in terms of how they tried to make Katniss into STRONG BADASS WO-MAN while dulling some of her softer edges and dependencies on other people. See also: leaving out the gift of bread from D11 to Katniss.

The dialogue is shit. Sorry, those are my thoughts. You already had really good dialogue in the book why change that? Also, the gutting of the dialogue results in the gutting of both Katniss and Peeta as characters. The first movie turns them into The Watson character, i.e. the character whose purpose it is to ask questions so that the audience can learn about the setting/plot/other characters/whatever. The first movie made Katniss and Peeta look naive and dumb about the Games and the very world they inhabit, which makes no sense for their characters. I get it. It's a storytelling technique to quicken up the process of world building and make up for the fact that we don't get to be in Katniss's head where she tells us what we need to know about her world. BUT their characters suffer for it. Katniss and Peeta are sixteen. Anyone who has interacted with a teenager knows that at that age, we usually have #OPINIONS on things, so in the books, both already have developing opinions about the Games because they are by necessity and by exposure aware of how the Games and the government essentially work. They've lived in this world long enough. They've started to develop opinions and world views, and they act accordingly. The first movie loses this completely from the books.

Do not get me started on the dialogue in the cave scenes we will be here until the next century if we go there.

Buttercup. Christ how hard is it to cast a yellow/orange cat?!?!?! Not that difficult. And granted, this is a minor detail in terms of symbols but at the same time... it's a minor detail. The fact that they didn't even bother showed a lack of caring about the details. Also see: Rock Peeta.

The stakes of almost everything are lowered, from the bread scene (we don't realize until MJ2 that she's literally starving and knocking on death's door in that scene) to the berry scene (and here it's Peeta knocking on death's door and Katniss is desperate to save him, enough to put POISON BERRIES IN HER MOUTH and risk her own life too)... the movie lacks the desperation for both of those crucial parts.

Peeta's leg Peeta's leg Peeta's motherfreaking amputated leg!!!!!!

Things I liked: The sound and sound editing. It's such a small thing, and I have a story to go with this okay? When I saw it in theaters, I disliked a lot of things, but one of them was something I could not put my fingers on. It bugged me for weeks until the movie came out on DVD (yes, I'm old and also saw it at the veeeeeeery end of its theater run where I live... like it was a $5 special...). Anyways. Mr. Kdnfb is an electrical engineer by education and is suuuuuper picky about our sound system in our house. So when I watched it at home, the Thing clicked in my brain. The SOUND. It had been Waaaaaay Off in a way that was awful in that theater for some reason. And once I watched it at home, there was just something about the way they did the sound that made a lot of what I had hated become less of A Thing to me. The more I've watched it, the more I've realized the sound and sound editing was excellent, and I put this as things I liked because my story goes to show how such a tiny thing can really screw up a movie.

Catching Fire

Ranking: 3.5/5 (Omg I'm gonna get barbecued for this one.)

Things I didn't like: See my caveat at the top. Okay, so. One of my biggest problems is just how much got cut to adapt this one to screen. Sooooo many scenes. Finnick "hanging" himself in training, "someone else can get the stupid goat knocked up," all the hullabaloo about the wedding is talked about but that doesn't happen in the movies, the setup for the existence of D13, the plant book and Peeta caring for an injured Katniss, training like Careers, scaring Peeta with the medicine, Katniss really starting to come around to the idea of a rebellion even before the Quell announcement, "Poor Finnick. Is this the first time you haven't been pretty?" Just so much cut for the sake of time and results in the story feeling rushed and sloppy ugh.

While the cast and crew for this one did a much better job adapting the dialogue to the screen, there are still a few crucial bits of dialogue that make me itch with hives. The post jabberjay scene and the death of the morphling mainly. Good lord. You finally let movie!Peeta be as eloquent and convincing as book!Peeta in D11, why not give him the space to do it in the arena, too?

Things I do like: The casting. Hear me out. After the first movie, I was still not entirely sold on Jennifer, Josh, and Liam for the roles they were playing. Really, the only main characters who live through the first movie that I was happy and 100% on board with with were Donald Sutherland, Elizabeth Banks, Woody Harrelson, and Stanley Tucci. Catching Fire is where I accepted Josh's portrayal of Peeta a little bit more, mainly because of the process of film making and what they put forth with CF showed me that he could nail the part if only they'd give him the dialogue and choose the cuts that best showed what he could do. I have no idea what sort of dialogue they were given or how much free reign they were allowed to improvise, but I do know that they will shoot a scene multiple times with multiple different delivery styles and slightly different dialogue. Which means that the actors really don't get a say on which version of their performance makes the final cut. But when the dialogue was spot on in the final version, I felt like Josh pulled off Peeta very well. I also think the way they shot CF allowed Jennifer Lawrence to put forth a better overall performance as well, although I'm still not in love with her as Katniss.

But really it's the Quell Victors/Tributes that I loved about CF. I went in unsure and came out convinced. My caveat here is that I tend to think of the movies as their own thing. The movie versions of the characters are their own iteration and I try really hard not to let them bleed into how I see or think of the characters in the books. That doesn't always happen, but I do try.

Okay this one is kinda not the fault of the first movie, but the increased budget for CF is apparent in several of the things that I liked, namely the costumes, the staging, the special effects. Much better all around.

Mockingjay Part 1

Ranking: 3/5

Things I did not like: Gale. MJ1 finishes off the complete removal of any depth Gale had as a character, a process that started with him rage rushing Head Peacekeeper Thread in CF and culminates here with him condemning Peete's words as a TORTURED PRISONER OF WAR rather than him not only intuiting what's probably happening, but explaining it to Katniss, then trying to protect Katniss from it, like he does in the books. The reason why book!Gale is so much more compelling to me than movie!Gale is because Gale's anger and fire and indignation has REASONING behind it in the book. It is chillingly easy to see the lines his reasoning could possibly take. As in... I've worked in weapons development and I have worked with real people who think like book!Gale or Beetee. Whereas movie!Gale is basically just RAWR!!! fury.

The rescue scene. I could write an entire essay on what's wrong with this, but it all boils down to they tried to shorten it by overlapping the video of the rescue with Finnick talking. Which makes zero military sense btw why the freak would you broadcast helmet video of your team going in on a stealth mission and risk someone intercepting it or noting the presence of an encrypted signal and figuring out what was going on holy hell you would NOT. You'd be freaking SILENT and just waiting to find out!!!!!!! And yes yes, but we need to see it. Okay, but you've already shown scenes with Snow and Seneca talking, Seneca and Haymitch talking, Snow and Plutarch talking, Snow and his granddaughter!!!! cuts from D11 and so much more that Katniss would not have seen, so play this like that. You can still show the audience but clearly keep Katniss and everyone back in D13 in the dark. The way it's shot is nonsensical and also pretty much waters down the horror of what Finnick went through and the impact of his words.

And while we're on this topic, they somehow used that overlapping and ridiculous video feed to try and shorten the scene, but wound up making it interminably and unbelievably long with the layers upon layers upon LAYERS of rooms the rescue squad has to go through and also the Skype Call of Inanity. The whole debacle is so freaking long that I no longer feel tense by the time it's finally over. It's so obvious that the Capitol is letting them take back Peeta, Annie, and Johanna because of how long a stealth mission (which should be almost too fast to process) takes that it becomes stupid for D13 to not suspect something. There's no desperation or high stakes for me with this scene because it's too long and too messy, makes no sense tactically and basically just erases all the emotional depth and pacing of what's in the books ugh. Seriously. You could've spent that time on the torture of the prep team or some of the Boggs and Katniss or Katniss and Finnick content we miss out on. Delly. Gale's siblings. Literally anything that you cut out. Rant over.

"He's gonna kill Peeta".... um no actually it's that Snow won't kill Peeta but keep dangling him in front of you, Katniss...

Things I did like: The sets. District 13 is... perfect. Sterile and drab and utilitarian. Zero luxury or any real sense that humans live there. There are zero personal touches in any of the spaces. No connections to art or joy or life.

Effie. I really wish we'd still gotten the prep team in D13, because it's an avenue through which we see how brutal and lacking in compassion D13 really is, but if it's Effie there with her for the movies, then Elizabeth Banks did a stellar job with what she was given to do. I do wish they'd allowed Finnick to keep his line: "They'll either want to kiss you, kill you, or be you." And if not that, then don't freaking cut the "Why, do you find this distracting?" scene. But overall, Effie in D13 works for me in terms of the movie universe.

Mockingjay Part 2

Ranking: 2.5/5

Things I didn't like: Facepalm worthy wigs and dye jobs. Dude. You are the final chapter of a big budget blockbuster franchise. I understand that the dye jobs have taken their toll and wigs may be just more practical for the actors at this stage, but DO BETTER with the money you have.

Just how much of Johanna they cut out of this part and what that does to Katniss's development.

The ending. It's so lackluster in so many ways. One of the things that I loved about the theme of the ending is how it shows that with the right kind of care, a life can be lived and be worthwhile even after the worst kinds of trauma. We get this through the sheer beauty of Katniss's final words in both the final chapter and the epilogue. To me, the movie ending felt just... blah. And I get that maybe they were aiming for a sense of calm and peace, but instead it came off as blah, we're broken and just going through the motions. Which makes sense right after the war ends, but not as the ending continues into the "Real" scene or the epilogue.

Mahershala Ali is highly underutilized in this movie. Let the man play the freaking part. He's already good with what you let him do. Let him unleash the acting chops and make Boggs sing as a character. And part of this has to do with what they cut from the film, like him carrying Katniss to the hovercraft in D8 and her vomiting on him. Same with Julianne Moore. Coin was not nearly cold or controlling enough nor did she convincingly clash with Katniss enough leading up to Peeta showing up in the Capitol.

The omission of the heartbreaking silence Katniss puts herself into and how they turned the sadness of the final breaking of her friendship with Gale into "Goodbye Gale." Ugh. I laugh at it, but it's not a good change. Like we can't allow a Strong Wo-Man Character to be sad or hurt about this, why not????

Burn. Scars. Burn. Scars. Burn. Scars. BURN! SCAAAAARRRRRRRSSSSSS!!!!!

Things I did like: The music. Odd pick I know, but even though the ending is not well done for me, I almost always start bawling the second Katniss starts singing the meadow lullaby as the credits roll. And that's just one weird instance of me liking the music for this film.

How they brought the hijacking to life. I can't even explain why this works so well, but it does. My only wish is that they'd given more time for the Real/Not Real game to develop on film and included more of Peeta's dialogue that shows both the struggle and him regaining parts of himself -- the cafeteria scene, his words to Pollux and Tigris for example.

And there you have it, @curiousnonny. My super long answer to your question. ;)

[mirchloe]

as much as i was initially disappointed the campers wouldn't be in pn2 (way back during development, tho, since i was one of the fans anticipating they'd follow the original trilogy idea), i'm really glad they decided against bringing in the campers and focused more on the agents/interns at the motherlobe to expand the world, along with enhancing the connections among the psychic seven and aquatos.

with that in mind, here's how i think the campers as teens would either thrive, decline, or outright not attend the intern program under the cut because as much as it would've been cool to see how they'd be doing in a hypothetical pn2-that-follows-the-original-trilogy-idea, it was for the best for the story to focus on a more worldly perspective.

raz: well, he's already a junior agent! but definitely still attends classes. not as much as his teenage junior agents, which miffs him, because he needs more training. alternates time between the circus and the motherlobe, but being that he's been doing the same shtick for years, i can see his time in the motherlobe wearing down on him. the same job for years, burning into him, feeling conflicted and confused about what to do next, but ends up sticking with it because he eventually decides this is what he wants to do.

lili: still struggles with bouts of disillusionment. raz can only bring the spark back for so long. they're very on and off, which also strains their friendship. feeling the pressure of senior agents, while also being very advanced for her age and a loner at school and sometimes at the motherlobe, she's looking for something beyond the motherlobe. it's kind of like how raz wanted to broaden his circus horizons. she wants to broaden her personal horizons, so like her relationship with raz, it's very on-and-off with how she feels about staying in the motherlobe and any programs. she does end up being an agent after living for herself!

dogen: joins later! while i think the starting age for the intern program is fourteen, he waits on it. there is a spot for him, but he needs more personalized lessons. here is where i think compton really shines in being there now for dogen, more than when dogen was struggling with his powers as a psi cadet. dogen is nervous that a highly stressful intern program could trigger an episode, so compton is giving him help but he joins, graduates, and becomes a proper agent.

bobby: rejected at fourteen, personally accepted by hollis at fifteen. he was devastated when he was rejected. he thought he'd be accepted no sweat. it's a blow to his confidence as he's a teen with no prospects. he wants to be an agent. if raz could do it, why can't he? it takes a few years for him to graduate with his behavioral issues impacting his genuinely stellar performance. he's in a shaky place toward the end, but goes on to become an agent, also specializing in helping "problem kids" like he was once. may or may not have had a total breakdown and decided to make his own b-movie starring one razputin.

benny: joins at sixteen after his application was rejected at fifteen. he was focusing more on his theatrical career after growing out of his bullying era. he thinks the intern program will look swell on his transcript for julliard (he doesn't get accepted - crushing blow btw). he does flounder since he isn't a particularly powerful psychic, and his mentorship with helmut is...tenuous at best because helmut is *no* gloria von gouton. bounces between mentors like bobby had before ending up under bobby's wing again, and from there, he does better.

chloe: joins at fourteen! a shining star! brilliant and bright! and then, identity crisis! turns out she's not an alien, and feels really broken up about it because it's hard being an alien as a teen. as a kid, saying she was an alien was more accepted. definitely not as much when she's in high school. so, those first few summers are actually pretty good! except for the doubt and identity issues that plague her when she's hit with the realization. mentors under gisu for the entire time and does come to terms with her status as an earthling. she gets to build so so so so so much, especially working in several scientific wings. she can often be found in bobby's cramped office when he's a junior agent with benny. quentin: goes through most of the program, but it's not for him. he treats it more like an advanced version of camp, in which he was already advanced, but the stricter program dampens him. he graduates but chooses to not become an agent. he focuses on a career in music and sometimes dishes out details to phoebe and other agents when they're looking for a bad guy. probably gets roped into a plot like the movie trap, performing with the bad guy in attendance when the agents swoop in to get them.

phoebe: raz might have been the star at camp, but this time, it's her time to shine! she was fine with letting him do all the troublesome action at camp because now, she's ready. she joins at fourteen (quentin does, too) with a focus on the therapeutic aspect of the job. with her powers still causing some trouble and how she tends to dismiss her issues, her mentorship with norma is a bit strained as norma clearly sees her as someone smothering her struggles, putting out flames before they can start without treating the source. phoebe has to learn that acknowledging her own issues isn't a major flaw, but she becomes one of the best interns the program has ever seen.

mikhail: joins at fourteen, goes through the program, but being an agent isn't for him. he wants to strengthen his telekinesis, so he keeps coming back, even when he could graduate. when he does graduate out of the program, mikhail chooses to figure out what he wants to do with his life and leaves altogether. slips off the grid for a while.

maloof: does not join the intern program. he becomes swept up in his family's business. he does, however, reconnect with mikhail, along with a promise he can't refuse.

elka: joins at fifteen because she foresaw it, so she didn't bother applying at fourteen. she sees a lot of what she's already done. it's mundane. she feels like she's already learned the lessons, has the muscle memory. there are days when she's too exhausted to leave bed, but ends up doing mostly okay, unless she's hit with a particularly volatile vision. she's still snooty and sometimes gabs dogen's ear off while having a tenacious dynamic with most of her fellow interns.

nils: does not join the intern program. he's a surfer boy. training isn't in his cards.

vernon: does not join the intern program. chooses to attend extracurriculars at school that focus on writing.

kitty: joins at fifteen, but the intern program is a far cry from camp. she can't manipulate her way through her fellow interns, nor can she fool the teachers. hollis knows her game. she's seen kids like kitty, and kitty has to go through the ropes like the rest of them. she's fine for the first summer, but at sixteen, her home life issues start impacting her performance. her mentorship with cassie is also far from ideal. gets kicked out at seventeen for trying to manipulate hollis (hashing out the details on this) but hollis offers her a chance to return at eighteen when her life hits rock bottom.

franke: applies to attend for two years, only to be rejected. she's finally accepted at sixteen, and she's...average! while stronger than benny, she does just okay as a psychic. she's all right in every regard, and that's fine by her. c's and b's get a degree! her interpersonal relationships affect her performance, but she does end up working in the barbershop and later runs the barbershop!

elton: does not join the intern program. he doesn't feel like the life of an agent is for him, but he's supportive of milka!

milka: attends...sort of. she's there. she's just not officially enrolled. motherlobe jumpscare when she's caught at sixteen. it's a huge security breach, but with her miserable home life, milla takes milka under her wing. a few interns were aware she's there (chloe, lili, jt) and do not tell on her. although she graduates, she ends up becoming a part-time agent since she usually accompanies elton in his sea-faring travels.

chops: on-and-off attendance. still working out his details. doesn't become an agent.

jt: on-and-off attendance. still working out his details, but briefly mentors under sasha. i was thinking he'd be an agent while chops goes for a career in hockey.

clem: does not attend the intern program. ends up falling in with a bad crowd due to his abusive home life and dwindling positive relationships. feels like he's been let down by the agency and his teachers in general.

crystal: rejected at fourteen, but accepted at sixteen. she's...trying. she's in a very weird place. she's improving her mental health. she's getting into fitness. she's trying to stay peppy! but she has an underlying current of issues impacting her powers. still figuring her out, but she dates franke for a bit. graduates a little later than the others and works as oleander and sam's joint mentee, eventually becoming a facility officer to maintain the camps.

[archduchessofnowhere]

I would like to ask about archduchess Gisela. When talking about Sisi's children, everyone remembers Sophie, who died so young, Rudolf, who was extremely controversial even during his life and whose death was so scandalous, real OGs also know that Maria Valeria was her mother's baby. In all of the buzz around her parents and brother, she seems to be somewhat forgotten. Did she, you know, do anything? What do we know about her relationship with her parents and Rudolf?

Gisela is indeed often referred to as "the forgotten daughter" because she pretty much spent her life laying low and there is little information about her, although I also feel that there just isn't much interest in Gisela as a historical figure to begin with.

So what do we know about Gisela? She was Elisabeth and FJ's second daughter so her birth was a bit of a dissapointment since she wasn't the awaited heir, although no one made a big deal about it. Just like her sister Sophie and later on her brother Rudolf she was raised under the care of her grandmother, the Archduchess Sophie. When she was 10-months-old her parents took her and little Sophie to Hungary for their first trip together, when suddenly she got very sick with fever and diarrhea. Gisela recovered, but then her sister Sophie got sick, and as we all know, sadly died aged only two-years-old. A year later Rudolf was born. Gisela and Rudolf grew up very closely until his formal education begun at age six and they were separated, which was a huge blown for him.

Their mother was an absent figure during the siblings childhood, since she went away during years to recover from her illness (she was basically allergic to Vienna). Elisabeth was noted to be distant with her eldest children, and specially with Gisela. Brigitte Hamann in her biography The Reluctant Empress even goes as far as to imply that Elisabeth didn't love her elder daughter (which I personally don't agree with since it just seems way to extreme to me). But if Gisela felt neglected, she never said it out loud, nor do we have evidence of her reaching out for her mother's attention like Rudolf did.

When we reach to Gisela's engagement and marriage to Prince Leopold of Bavaria at only sixteen-years-old something interesting happens in her mother's biographies: they give us two mutually exclusive versions of the what happened. In some biographies, like Corti's acclaimed Elisabeth, the Empress was upset at her daughters engagement because she thought Gisela was too young to get married. But then in Hamman's biography (and subsequent works that quote her) she tells us that Elisabeth herself manufacturated Gisela's marriage. Apparently, her youngest brother Duke Maximilian "Mapperl" in Bavaria fell in love with Leopold's fiancé, Princess Amalie of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha. Elisabeth adored her siblings so she decided to help out Mapperl; she invited Leopold to Gödöllö and there he was made aware that he was seen as a good match for Gisela (who had a very big dowry). Leopold dumped Amalie and married Gisela in 1873. Two years later Elisabeth personally arranged Mapperl and Amalie's marriage. Both of these unions turned out to be happy.

As you can see, these are two WILDLY different versions of the events. Hamann quotes Prince Leopold's own letters, which to me settles the matter on which version it's the correct one; yet I do wonder if that's the truth, then where did the whole "she was horrified and opposed to Gisela marrying so young" thing comes from? (if someone know anything more about this feel free to add it). Btw I quickly entered to Gisela's Wikipedia page to check some dates and I found the unsourced claim that Elisabeth didn't attend to her wedding which it's straight up false. She very much went and put into practice her ability to outshine the bride at her own wedding. From Marie Festetics' diary, quoted in Hamann's The Reluctant Empress:

how beautiful she was in her silver-embroidered dress; her cascading, truly shimmering hair with the glittering tiara is beyond words. But the most beautiful is not her physical being—no it is what floats above it—It is something like an atmosphere—a breath of loveliness—nobility—grace—girlishness—modesty and yet again a grandeur over ‘Her’ that is deeply touching.

According to Corti, when Gisela said "I do" Elisabeth cried. Strangely Hamann doesn't mention this at all, not even to deny it.

As I mentioned, Gisela and her brother Rudolf grew up very closely, yet books on the Crown Prince don't really go too much in depth on their relationship. When Rudolf bid farwell to his sister when she departed to Bavaria after her wedding he "wept unceasingly and was unable either to stem the flow of tears or to suppress his sobs, even though he visibly struggled to control himself". There is also an interesting quote from Valerie's diary in Greg King and Penny Wilson's Twilight of Empire about Rudolf's behaviour during the last months of his life:

Rudolf stares at us, particularly at Mama and me, with glances of such deep and bitter hate that one is overcome with a feeling of anxiety. Even Gisela, whose sober views certainly don’t lend themselves to imagination and whose love for Rudolf tends always to embellish his behavior, confessed … she was frightened herself by his stare and eventually all three of us broke out in tears.… This odd, unexplainable hatred of Rudolf’s casts a dark shadow over our future.

From this quote we can glimpse that a) Gisela loved Rudolf enough to not see/excuse his shortcomings and b) still she noticed the terrible state he was in at that point. She was very shaken when he died, Valerie wrote in her diary that she was "nervous and anxious" and insisted that "It is impossible that Rudolf is dead!". During his funeral, Gisela was the one who walked next to the Emperor.

I can't really say much about Gisela's relationship with her sister Valerie. Unlike Rudolf, who was openly hostile towards Valerie to the point that she was actually afraid of him, Gisela never seemed to have been jealous of her mother's favourite child and their relationship was good, even if they weren't very close (not surprising giving that she got married when Valerie was only four).

The same goes for Franz Josef, I can't say a lot about their relationship other than it was good. Given the lack of suitable Catholic princes available for marriage (because the requirements to marry a Habsburg were absolutely insane) he thought that Leopold was a good match, yet he also was visibly moved when he bid farewell to his daughter. Something that I think shows Gisela's love towards her father is that she was always kind to Katharina Schratt, Franz Josef's best friend whom also may or may not had been his mistress. Some time after Elisabeth's death they had a fell out and Katharina dumped him, which threw FJ into a depressive mood since he really relied on her company. Gisela intervened and tried to convince Katharina to make peaces with him; unlike Valerie, who hated Katharina, Gisela understood how important she was for her father's happiness (they eventually made up and remained friends until his death).

Finally when it comes to her mother, things get a bit complicated. As I said before, most of Elisabeth's biographers agree in that she and Gisela were very distant. It didn't help to their relationship that Elisabeth blamed the death of Ludwig II on Luitpold, the Prince Regent of Bavaria, who was also Gisela's father-in-law. Yet I do think that there are small glimpses that show us that their relationship wasn't as bad as some books made it out to be. For instance, in many of the trips that Elisabeth did with Valerie, Gisela also went, something that it's never highlightened. I haven't read it fully yet but I did skim through Irma Sztaray's book about her years as the Empress' lady-in-waiting and she does mention Gisela and her husband visiting Elisabeth more than once. And we have this letter she wrote to Latour von Thumberg (apparently one of the few personal letters of Gisela that remain) in which she seems really in grief for the loss of her mother: "It is so horrible, so dreadful, we can't believe it yet! And it's all so distant, like a bad dream, something that weighs on you terribly and you want to shake it off to vent." I personally don't think that lack of attention equals lack of love when it comes to Elisabeth, after all she was also distant towards Rudolf yet she grieved him for the rest of her life. When it comes to Gisela, whether she felt hurt by her mother remains a mystery.

On whether Gisela did something the answer is yes, she did, although you'll have to forgive my lack of good sources, since none of the books that I've read go into her later life. She did a lot of charity work and ran a hospital during WWI, her Wikipedia article claims that she voted in the first elections of the Weimer Republic (I'll try to dig into this later). She was known for her kindness and it seems that she was very reasonable and got along with everyone. Honestly I think it's a real pity that we know so little about her when we know so much about her entire family. But with the scarce information we got, she does seem to have been a good person.

[juminsmysticmc]

Hello!! Can we have one with the RFA + plus Minor trio reacting to their kids getting a boyfriend/girlfriend for the first time?

RFA’s children getting a bf/ gf

Hello! I will only write the RFA, for the Minot Trio please request again! ( old request )  Btw, I can’t imagine the day I will bring a boy home ( is it, because i will stay single forever... ?) well, please enjoy and tell me your opinion! Love you!

Jumin

You weren’t sure how to tell your boyfriend that your first born boy would bring his girlfriend home.

Well, he was already sixteen so falling in love at his age wasn’t something odd, but for Jumin, relationships had a deeper meaning.

Of course it was important to look into the future, to think about actions before doing them, but you also understood that they were young and were allowed to do things in their youth.

With your last daughter in your arms, you entered the room and sat down in front of him.

,,Jumin, you need to talk to your son,’’ you began.

Since Jumin planned on making him the CEO in line, your first born was always raised a bit stricter than the other two boys and girls you had.

But luckily, the oldest was the one who behaved the best.

,,Yes, my love, tell me…’’ Jumin said and looked up.

You loved this side he had.

Whenever there was something regarding his children, nothing was more important than them.

,,He… wants to make us meet his first girlfriend… you know, you need to talk to him, to do the father-son talk,’’ you said.

Jumin was speechless at first, but nodded.

With a pale face he walked towards his room, stopped again, faced you, and asked you ,,do I… need to bring him… you know, c-condoms?’’ he whispered.

,,Uhm…. Buy some… to show him!’’ you nodded.

And even though the CEO was always confident in what he was doing, this time Jumin showed his weakness.

Zen

,,WHAT?’’ Zen hissed, jumping from his bed and looking at you.

,,Keep it down! Your son just fell asleep!’’ you hissed and pulled him into the bed again.

,,Well, how am I supposed to stay quiet? You just told me that my ten year old daughter has a boyfriend!’’ he hissed and nibbled at his lips.

,,Well, you know, they are just children. They won’t do anything… odd…’’ you tried to calm him.

,,Mc! I was a young boy too! We want to explore! We get to know what sex is, our fish is showing! And we get to see girls and their bodies! I know it myself! He will-’’

,,YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT MY DAUGHTER, OKAY?’’ you said, a bit louder and looked into his eyes.

,,She is mine too…’’ he mumbled.

,,I will talk to her, okay? I will explain everything, I will have my mother-daughter talk,’’ you told him.

,,Men are wolves,’’ Zen still mumbled.

,,I know, but they are just children, so try to stay normal,’’ you begged him and closed your eyes.

The next day you talked to her and was proud that she promised you to never do things that felt strange.

,,But mommy,’’ she asked you while you were trying to feed your one year old son and Zen fed his three year old.

,,Mhhh?’’ you asked.

,,Am I allowed to hold his hand?’’ she asked you.

Zen decided to take a sip of his water so when your daughter asked you that, he choked on it,’’

,,HYUN! BREATH!’’ you laughed.

,,Why-ugh! Why holding hands?’’ he asked her, trying to stay calm.

,,Because I love him and… we’re married! We need to hold hands!’’ she said, looking very happy.

Zen was about to cry...

Yoosung

,,Mom, Dad, I think I need to tell you guys something,’’ your son said, sitting down and rubbing his hands nervously on his jeans.

,,Tell us, baby,’’ you began, kissing your twin daughters and sending them into their room to play.

Deep inside, both you and Yoosung knew what would await you.

,,Tell us,’’ Yoosung smiled, taking your hand.

You smiled brightly at your son, making him feel relaxed.

,,I’m in a relationship,’’ he began.

,,Mhm,’’ you nodded.

,,With a boy. I’m gay,’’ he he finally said.

You and Yoosung were still smiling brightly.

,,I’m happy for you!’’ Yoosung laughed.

,,Will we meet him? Wanna bring him here on the weekend?’’ you asked him.

Your son was kind of puzzled by your reaction.

,,You guys aren’t sad or angry…?’’ he asked you, now tearing up.

,,No, why should we be?’’ you asked him, and began to sob yourself.

,,As long as you’re happy, we are too…’’ Yoosung whispered, trying not to cry himself.

And so you guys embraced in a family hug.

Jaehee

,,Okay, Mom, Mommy,’’ your girl jumped down the stairs as you and Jaehee cleaned the shop.

,,Yes?’’ you asked her, looked at her and waited for reaction as she kept typing on her phone.

You looked over to Jaehee again, who chuckled as her daughter kept ignoring her for a few moments more.

,,I got myself a boyfriend!’’ she screamed, waving with her hands.

,,The boy I’ve liked for a year finally told me that he actually likes me too! I think I’ll marry him!’’ she laughed and hugged both of you.

,,Well, the biggest question I have is, why didn’t you already date a year ago?’’ you asked her, patting her back.

,,Apparently we’re both shy and stayed friends because neither of us realized. But apparently some people thought we were already a couple… mhhh,’’ she laughed.

,,Okay, I understand. You’re the kind of lovers who don’t realize that they love each other,’’ you laughed.

,,But, we need to talk about something important then,’’ you began.

You, Jaehee, and your daughter had a long talk, leaving the shop for a while.

Instead, you made sure that she knew about everything.

,,Please don’t rush things. And do certain things only when you feel like it and are sure, don’t feel forced to do anything,’’ Jaehee begged, giving her a kiss on her nose, feeling very happy for her.

Saeyoung

You and your husband were the ,,cool’’ parents.

Every single friend your children brought home always loved you.

And you raised your daughters like that too.

Whenever there was something, they could always come to you and tell you.

And this time, the same thing happened.

You and Saeyoung had two daughters and your oldest finally came out as bi after a long fight in finding herself.

You and Saeyoung also had a hard time.

It was painful to see her insecure about other people’s opinions, but you always told her that she should be happy and not care about what others would say.

And so it came, that she finally could love herself for real.

And since she learned how to love herself, she was finally ready for the love of her life.

,,I am so happy to meet you,’’ you said as you looked at the girlfriend your daughter brought home.

A very bright young woman, always smiling ever she arrived, and kind of goofy, just like Saeyoung.

,,Thank you for having me. I brought you a present. At first I wanted to bring you some wine, but she said,’’ pointing at your daughter, ,,that you would like me more if I would bring you some Dr. Pepper and Honey Butter Chips,’’ she smiled, making Saeyoung laugh out loud.

,,Thanks! Come in, girl!’’

MASTERLIST 1

MASTERLIST 2

MASTERLIST 3

12.03.2021// 22:28 MEST

[calliecat93]

ST: TNG S4 Watchthrough Episodes 6-9

Legacy: We have ended up on the home planet of Tasha Yar… and wow it’s not a nice place. We also find out that she has a sister, welp. So… it was alright. Ishara is very similar to Tasha in demeanor, but also very different. I tilt my head at the crew being so willing to trust and accept Ishara into their midst when they know nothing about this woman. I could see the ‘she’s using them’ plot a mile away. But to be fair, the episode addresses it. They wanted to see Tasha. They wanted to see the brave, loyal, strong-willed Security Chief that they lost so callously in her sister… and in the end, that took over. While I can see why Ishara acted as she did, she didn’t know these people and hasn’t seen Tasha in years so she’s under no obligation to care about them, it really has to hurt that she used them and almost committed mass murder and make them take the lame. Her world is a hellhole so her actions make sense, but that doens’t change the betrayal. Especially for Data. Riker sums it up well, with trust comes betrayal… but without trust, there is no friendship. That’s just the cruel truth. Anyways, it was a fine episode. I like that we have a pot-mortem for Tasha even if late… but it just makes me wish that tasha herself didn’t get killed sos he could have had her own plot and feeligns focused on. It still pisse sme off and is just a reminder of so much wasted potential. But ah well, for what they had to work with, they did it welll. 3/5.

Reunion: K’Ehleyr is back… and with a child. Worf’s child, to be exact. Huh. have been waiting very patiently for a follow-up to Sins of the Father and this was an excellent one! Back in K’Ehleyr’s first episode, she was unwilling to take the Oath and Worf wanted to so much and follow the Klingon traditions. Here? K’Ehleyr is ready and doens’t care that he was discommendated… but now Worf can’t. he’s been dishonored and even if it means nothing to K’Ehleyr, it means a great deal to him. He can’t let her or his son bear that shame. It’s so hard to watch him here. How anguished he feels, the way the other Klingons treat him despite it being their damn fault that he accepted it, to begin with, just knowing that he did nothing wrong… but for the greater good, he has to bear it. He doesn’t even want Alexander to be known as his son not because he’s unwilling to accept parental responsibility but to spare him of the dishonor. Just… freakin’ ouch. I was so happy to see K’Ehleyr back and her character is just so freakin’ good and her wanting to allow Alexander to find his life path? Excellent parenting. So… needless to say, her being killed off pisses me off. They at least allowed her character to shine, but… it feels like they only did it to make Worf suffer more. It was well-executed, I was about ready to tear up and Worf being driven to kill Duras for all the suffering that he put him through and now killing the woman he loved (which btw the romantic chemistry was MUCH better here than last time)? I can’t blame him at all. I get why he got reprimanded since Duras was a political figure and this can cause a whole host of problems and clearly Picard was sympathetic… but I just felt so bad for Worf. At least he admitted that he was Aexander’s father and hopefully the poor kid will have a good life with Worf’s parents, bu… yeah. K’Ehleyr’s death stops me form giving this a perfect score, very least I wish we had gotten to see her fight instead of goign to commerical and them walking in on her bloody corpse… but at least they got the tone down. I just hope that one day, Worf and his brother can truly expose the conspiracy because Worf deserves a Hell of a lot better. 4.5/5.

Future Imperfect: Let’s perform a thought experiment, shall we? Imagine going on assignment on your birthday, business as usual… then some kind of mishap happens. You wake up… and discover that you have lost sixteen years' worth of your memory. You can’t remember significant life changes, special moments for yourself and your loved ones, or even your spouse and child. Then just as you begin getting used to things and accepting this new life… you find out that it was all a lie and you were in an illusion all along. You were captured and tricked… and then you find out that was also a lie and it was all due to a lonely alien child left on a barren planet/within a highly advanced Holodeck system that can give him anything that he wants, everyone he knew had died and he did all of this just to have a friend. Congratulations folks, you have now experienced what Riker went through this episode! Yeah, this episode was crazy. I feel bad for the poor kid, while he shouldn’t have done what he did we’re talking about a lonely child essentially forced to live in a Holodeck and just wanted to interact with someone real. Also, I loved how Riker got clued in on how the future word was fake, excellent call-back to Season One! Not much else to say, but good episode! It was wild, that’s for sure~ 3.5/5.

Final Mission: Well folks, this is the curtain call for Wesley Crusher. I know that he pops back up once or twice, but this will be his final episode as a main character as he finally enters the Academy. We’ll get to my final thoughts on Wesley here in a bit, but l focus on the episode itself first. And… it was fine. We have Picard, Wesley, and some third guy crash land on a desert planet, the Enterprise unaware of if they’re alive or not. Thus the three struggle to survive which not only is the third guy essentially a paranoid asshole… but a cave-in seriosuly injures Picard. Thus Wesley is more or less on his own and has to keep Picard alive. Thankfully we avoid killing him off, and thus they make sure to give Wesley a proper send-off. They let him showcase his strengths with his intellegence, fast thinking, and compared to in the beginning he’s much more mature and capable of handling an Away Mission. This convinced me that yes, Wesley is ready for the Academy and that he will be a great Starfleet Officer someday. Meanwhile the Enterprise are dealing with their own issues because of course they are. Nothing can ever just go easy for these people. can it? It’s fine. The Enterprise plot didn’t have me invested aside form worrying about Dr. Crusher. The poor woman just burris herself in her work to deal with her worry about Wesley and evades Troi when she tries to assure her Otherwise the plot is there sot hat it can be a solo Picard and Wesley adventure without hem interfering. Which while I havn’t been the biggest fan of their dynamic, it’s clear how much Welsey admires Picard such as recounting their Samaritan Snare adventure, and Picard admititng that he brought him along because he was going to miss the kid. It’s a nice moment between the characters and allows Wesley to truly open up… though I wish it focused more on him and his mother since that’s been seriously lacking, but ah well. It was still a good send-off episode for Wesley and that’s how you want to treat your characters, whether they stay ont he show or not. 3/5.

As for Wesley himself… it’s been a bumpy road. Do I agree with the consensus that Wesley is an annoying child character that even his actor agrees with (albeit I think jokingly but still)? No. Wesley isn't a bad character. He’s a smart young kid, tries his best, makes mistakes but tries to do his best, and he grew. He’s a perfectly likable kid and this episode especially shows the best of him. Do I agree that the character's role and execution were annoying and contributed to his reputation? Yes. That is ultimately what it boils down to decent character, poor execution. In S1 Wesley was elevated far more than he needed to be. He was given privileges that no other character his age would have been granted no matter the competency level that borders on blatant favoritism. Whenever he made a serious error, he got praise for fixing it, never scolded for his actions with The Naked Now being the worst example. He still had good episodes like Coming of Age, but alas. I think having a kid character who aspires to be in Starfleet, has a parent who is a prominent crew member, and being able to use his skills to help was a perfectly fine idea… but there were just issues with how they did it. S2 and 3 were. While I disliked him at the end of The Dauphin and he still got showed some blatant favoritism, it was better balanced. I didn't feel he earned to be an Ensign until this episode… y’know, the one that shipped him off to The Academy. Crusher being written out in S2 and then brought back in S3 also really killed any and all potential that their dynamic could have truly brought which also hurt. It really feels like by S3 they just didn’t know what to do with the character anymore, limiting him to mainly Helmsman duty. He wasn't being elevated anymore… but he wasn't adding anything anymore either. Maybe promoting him was to help give him something… but Wil Wheaton decided to go, and that ended that. I can’t say I’m sad to see Wesley go because his potential just got squandered to the point that keeping him just felt pointless, and having him go to the Academy feels like the best natural end-point for him, so might as well be now. Nevertheless, Wesley was still part of the crew and for all that I criticized, he certainly didn’t deserve the hate that he got. If people like or even relate to the character, that’s great! He just didn’t work for me unfortunateley. Wil Wheaton obviously moved on to bigger, better things and is well-liked in the fandom, so that’s good cause he certainly did the best that he could. He just wasn’t given a lot of good material. Hopefully Welsey’s later guest appearances will give him somethingg ood and heck maybe they’ll convince Wheaton to come back in Picard one day, but for now… farewell Wesley. Can’t say I’ll miss you, but it wasn’t the worst ride either.

[trashballerina]

BNHA Fics I really like

Btw, the ones with a ⭐ are my favorites

journey to the past 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15046934

Izuku is five years old the first time he's saved by heroes. He's an instant fan of the woman in pink with her cheerful smile and the man with his ice powers and fine-boned features, even if they both refuse to tell him their names.

For most of his life, Izuku has been the centre of villain attacks, but he has never been injured. Every time, he's saved by bright, unknown heroes—heroes who smile at Izuku, and ruffle his hair or ply him with hugs, and seem mesmerised by how small he is.

Heroes that the rest of the world doesn't believe exists.

Opinion: Honestly, it’s really pure and heartwarming with a side of angst. Seeing a young Izuku fanboy is adorable and from what I remember it's pretty well written. I honestly really love this one.

Lies in the guise of truth

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15124007/chapters/35067359

All Might is the world's #1 hero, the symbol of peace, the pillar that the world knows they can stand on. He dominates every room he's in, from press conferences to his Hero Agency.

It's pretty easy for everyone to overlook Yagi Toshinori, All Might's 'quirkless secretary'. But he's still there.

Opinion: I really love Dadmight. Like I really love Dadmight so I may be a bit bias. It diverts a bit from canon, but I was alright with that. It’s wholesome, cute, and Toshi deserves some love 

I Would Understand  ⭐

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12729852

Shinsou Hitoshi had a bit of a problem, and that problem was that he’d gotten attached to Aizawa Shouta. And somewhere along the line had started seeing him as a parental figure, a replacement for all the foster home parents who’d passed him along and never quite done their job.

A kid who's been in foster care his entire life spends a normal, average day after training with the teacher who seems to care a little too much.

Opinion: I have found myself revisiting this fic thrice already lol. Honestly, the first chapter is my favorite and well written--as are the other chapters. I love the melodic and somber atmosphere of some of the scenes and it really feels so sweet but hits me in the feels. The EraserMic in here is beautiful and great Dadzawa.

Ghosts of Flowers

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19851709

Shigaraki gets the chance to carefully sift through the pieces of his recovered memories and tries to hold them close.

There is something that bothers him a bit though: Hana seems—oddly familiar.

It’s not until he’s reviewing the U.A. training exercise footage their mole got them that he realizes it.

The Yaoyorozu heiress, with her long, dark hair, her elegant eyes, and her confident smile, she looks just like—

But she can’t be Hana.

Opinion: I love this one a whole lot. The concept is interesting and executed really well. I really love the characterization of the characters and you get some great internal dialogue and inside thoughts. While I do think the story goes a bit fast, I really enjoyed and understand there’s a lot to tell in ten chapters. 

Not a Spare Part

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18974530/chapters/45052543

In one universe, Tony Stark closed his eyes to a world where Superheroes were a rarity.

In another universe, Tony Stark opens his eyes to a world where Superheroes are the norm.

(An AU where after the events of Endgame, Tony Stark finds himself inhabiting the body of a young quirkless boy named Midoriya Izuku and figures out that the world could use... another Iron Man)

------- Basically, Izuku becomes Iron Man.

Opinion: I really like this fic. Tony is giving Izuku the confidence he needs and makes some new friends and builds old ones. 

Reconfigure  ⭐

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16893972

It's been years since the League of Villains was disbanded. Out on parole and stuck in therapy, Tomura Shigaraki is coasting through life. While he's no longer a villain, he's not exactly a productive member of society either. When an awkward past fling shows up, he's met with a shock: a 3-month-old baby girl. Turns out motherhood is hard when you're a serial killer. Suddenly saddled with the responsibility of a child, Shigaraki has a choice: keep his life the boring way it is or become a father for his kid he didn't know he had.

He knows nothing about being a good parent (and neither does the recently paroled Dabi/Touya Todoroki), but help comes in the most surprising of forms, specifically pro hero Uravity. All Ochako Uraraka wants to do is be a hero, so when she stumbles across the former villain with a baby, she can't help but worry. With Shigaraki clueless, Uraraka decides to do her best to help. What starts out as a chance meeting between two old enemies turns into something else as they find themselves in a strange predicament and more people get involved. They say it takes a village to raise a child. Sometimes, it's a handful of mostly reformed villains and the heroes they tried to kill when they were teens.

Opinion: Alright, before you dismiss this one, hear me out:  Tomura/Ochako really works in this fic. This fic has become one of my favorites because of how its written, characterization, and Tomura’s child--because I’m a sucker for wholesome parent and child content. I honestly really love this fic and had a lot of emotions throughout.

Something Still Remains  ⭐

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22737019

“Are you Shouta?” the shadow-man asks, and his tone is polite but there’s something verging on almost desperate behind it.

Shouta considers. He’s unarmed, facing an unknown person who knows his home address and his first name, he hasn’t slept in thirty-six hours, and he’s wearing kitten-patterned pajama pants. Despite all of that, he’s still confident in his ability to handle himself in a fight, but nothing about this situation is making sense, and it’s sending him slightly off-kilter.

Starting with how the shadow man knows his name.

“Maybe,” he says, after his silence has dragged on a beat too long. “Who’s asking.”

Opinion: It’s a one-shot, but a heckin good one at that. The tone of this fic is so gentle and quiet. Also, Kurogiri characterization is great. I’m absolutely craving more.

How to kidnap an underground hero and an UA General Studies student- A guide by Present Mic

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23068645/chapters/55178836

Hizashi knew what the villains were planning, he was one of them after all. But they wouldn’t hurt what was his and the plan was rather simple. Really.

Step 1: Convince them that it is just going to be a family holiday and that they desperately need a bit of a break

Step 2: Get Shinsou to take quirk suppressants, make him believe it’s a good thing and that it would help him, tell him that they would wear off on their own, not that they do

Step 3: Put the pills into tea, not coffee, the latter could cause health problems

Opinion: I have so many feelings about this. Like way too many. It’s not finished, but I need more. Erasermic, Shinsou, and Eri, and literally everything I love

it's a chatfic, but with villains

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11777448/chapters/26554635

DABnation added NotDeadpool, Ketchup, Magic Mike, BIG MEATY, MoonMoon, FidgetSpinnerPro, MAGNIFICENT, and Loan Snake to the group.

Stab Lick Delicious:Why is Kurogiri crying DABnation: i think DABnation: he realized he made a mistake

Opinion: It’s been a while since I’ve read and it’s unfinished, but I remember having a really fun time reading this and having quite a few laughs.

Karma in Retrograde

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14924609/chapters/34574417

When Dabi is struck by a de-aging quirk that regresses him to the most influential part of his life, he finds himself turned back into a sixteen-year-old U.A. General Studies student with lots of self-esteem issues, parent problems, a destructive quirk that he can't manage, and no memory of the years that he's lost - not to mention the fact that his little brother is now the same age as him and one of the top students in the U.A. hero course. In U.A.'s attempt to make up for what they missed and help the Dabi of the past, present, and future, he is placed with the only students that know him and have yet to find out what truly makes the difference between a hero and a villain. There, they must face the question of whether he can change or his destiny is already set in stone.

Opinion: I really like this fic. I really love young Dabi. It’s been a while since I’ve read, but I really love this one.

komorebi  ⭐

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16717599/chapters/39209133

The change can't be immediate, or it’ll seem forced. It has to take time, in order to be realistic. He knows that.

He’ll need to seem like a villain. But he’ll be a hero.

And for that, Hitoshi thinks he’d do just about anything.

Or,

Someone's selling UA's secrets, and Shinsou Hitoshi definitely doesn't have anything to prove.

Opinion: If you haven’t noticed, I really like Dadzawa. This one is super interesting, written really good, and I love the characterization of Shinsou. Like some chapters had me rioting I thought they were so good. I love the alternating moods ins scenes and I feel that I can really feel the atmosphere--if that makes sense lol.

Mendacium  ⭐

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21297146/chapters/50713442

"Why are you doing this?" Shouta couldn't help but ask. Really, this kid couldn't be much older than his class, and he was already out his risking his life to fight... and was good at it. That was the worst part of all, that a child would act like an experienced soldier in the face of danger. "If you stop now, I won't report you. You can just go on home to your family, and maybe try to be a hero-"

A laugh cut him off, but it was more sad than condescending. "Mr. Trash Bag, I'm doing all I can to get home. But like hell I'll be a hero. I've been used by the government too much." A slight European accent colored his words, and his Japanese was a little hesitant, but the determination was clear. "I have to admit, though, your quirk is really awesome. The ability to stop others' energies... remarkable."

The boy tensed, and Shouta activated his quirk on reflex.

"Too bad it doesn't work on me, then. Can't erase what you don't have, after all!"

OR: Edward didn't want to help Truth. He didn't want to go to a different world to defeat yet another Father. He didn't want to become a vigilante there.

He also wanted his brother back. The choice was obvious, even if Truth is a massive asshole.

Opinion: 10/10. Superb. Love our short funky blond alchemist. There’s ling chapters, great Edward Elric, and it had me rolling a few times with laughter. I thoroughly love this fic. 

Demons of the Past  ⭐ 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17642501/chapters/41601551

For Enji Todoroki, hero name Endeavor, reconciling with the past is easier said than done. Even more so when a dead son comes back to haunt him.

Opinion: I had this before BUT HEAR ME OUT! This fic is absolutely amazing. I was blown away with the characterization of Enji and I know so many people hate him-- I included--but I think his perspective is interesting. The high emotional scenes really had me feeling. Honestly, give this fic a try and you’ll see what I mean.

Black Cat Cafe  ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15442725/chapters/35844969

Aizawa Shota was a man tired of life, bitter and jaded from the endless horrors of the world. Six years ago, he disappeared, his existence erased.

Redeye is a stoic man with a mysterious past, who runs a tight shop, cares for his young ward with his whole heart, and makes a flawless cup of coffee.

He also has an unabashed fondness for stray cats.

(Otherwise known as a bitter Aizawa makes café Switzerland, adopts twenty hero-in-training children, some villains, and Shinsou, and then kicks All for One’s ass into next week. And maybe falls in love.)

Opinion: This is the one bois. I think this is my favorite bnha fic. The concept, the characterization, the PINING. I am absolutely in the with this story and the author.

Sure As the Setting Sun  ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12111294/chapters/27462717

Mob never aimed to be a hero, despite being an apprentice to one. He only wanted to make sure his quirk never hurt anyone ever again. However, an incident that occurs in his third year of middle school spurs him into action despite his wishes. Mob enters into UA academy, the top heroics school in all of Japan, and winds up with several new friends and much more trouble than he bargained for.

Opinion: It hasn’t been updated for a while, but seeing my two favorite cinnamon rolls together melts my heart. Mob is in the hero course but has the moral dilemma of fighting, and honestly, it is so interesting to see how it’s handled. 

_________

Well, I hope you enjoyed the list. I really tried not to star everything (I like them all!). I’m probably going to make more for different fandoms and more in-depth tbh. I had a lot of fun doing this! If anyone has any fic recommendations for, please don’t feel shy to send me some! I love talking about writing!

[eliscroft]

[ joe keery, cis male, he/him ] have you seen ( ELI CROFT ) hanging around? the ( TWENTY-FIVE ) year old often hangs around ( THE WITCH'S HOUSE ) when they’re not being a ( LATE NIGHT RADIO SHOW HOST ). i’ve been told they’re ( LOYAL ) but ( SCATTERBRAINED ) and when i look at them, i see ( 80S HORROR, BUCKETS OF HALLOWEEN CANDY, BLURRY PHOTOGRAPHS OF MYSTERIOUS FIGURES IN THE WOODS ). wellcliff wouldn’t be the same without ‘em! [ sam, 23, she/her, est ]

hey there demons! *ba dum tss* i’m sam and i also write cal ( @calsmorgan​​ ). much like my sweetheart jock, this spooky nerd is one of my favorite muses ever, and i hope you love him as much as i do! please feel free to message me if you would like to plot!

TWS: medication, bullying, drug mention

STATS

FULL NAME: elvin tupelo croft

NICKNAMES: el, eli, et, spooky guy

GENDER + PRONOUNS: cis male + he / him

DOB + AGE: october 31st, 1994 + twenty - five

ZODIAC: scorpio

HOMETOWN: salem, massachusetts

OCCUPATION: host of the graveyard shift, a radio program airing every weeknight in wellcliff from 12am to 5am.

FUN FACTS: fluent in icelandic, has two mexican redknee tarantulas named freddy and jason, and has a HUGE sweet tooth.

 HISTORY

elvin tupelo “eli” croft was born in salem, massachusetts ( yes, really ) on halloween day ( yes, really ). he's an only child and his father is the district attorney for essex county, massachusetts while his mother owns a small local business that sells witchcraft supplies such as crystals, herbs, grimoires, and more. interesting fact: she’s the descendant of an accused witch, meaning that eli is as well.

as it turns out, beneath the surface of the few tourist attractions that it has to offer, salem has a small town, stuck in the past vibe. it’s the sort of place where everyone knows everyone all their lives because no one ever leaves and no one ever moves in. he grew up in this atypical environment, living in the same house all his life and only ever leaving to visit his grandparents in boston.

he was five years old when he saw his first horror movie ( an apathetic teenage babysitter let him stay up long past his bedtime to watch nightmare on elm street ) and from that moment on he was HOOKED.

when he started school, two things about him became apparent : 1) he was highly intelligent and 2) he struggled greatly with tasks such as sitting still and staying focused. he was tested ( a few times, much to his irritation ) and it was discovered that he has a genius level iq and adhd.

he could have been one of those child prodigies who finished high school and college by the age of sixteen, BUT his parents decided that they didn’t want him to miss out on the experience of being in school with peers his own age.

HOWEVER, as the smartest kid in class with glasses and braces and an insatiable obsession with all things horror and halloween, he was picked on. mercilessly. he never had many friends, but he was content to go right home after school and spend the rest of the day reading comic books or watching horror movies or researching local urban legends and paranormal stories.

so, when he got to his senior year of high school, he was a shoe - in to be named class valedictorian ( he was ) and he was even getting ivy league offers. of course, his parents mainly his father were really pushing him to attend college and eli, genius level iq and all…didn’t want to go. he had a van ( a turquoise monstrosity painted to look like the mystery machine ) and he just wanted to drive. alas, his dad was absolutely NOT having it.

he attended harvard for both his pre law and law school studies, breezed through classes, graduated with honors at the top of his class and once he passed the bar exam there were countless job offers waiting for him. eli ignored them all and finally embarked on that road trip he had been meaning to take alongside his best friend.

they unexpectedly settled in wellcliff about a year ago after getting their hosting gig at the local radio station. ( basically, they were working as interns for some extra cash and the regular hosts called out of work at the last second, so eli and his best friend were shoved into the booth and told to think fast! ) they were a literal overnight success and so they were offered a regular hosting gig at the station.

the graveyard shift is a radio program that airs every weeknight from 12am - 5am in the wellcliff area and on apps such as iheartradio. eli hosts the show alongside his best friend and they discuss topics such as the paranormal, conspiracy theories, and all things spooky. 

PERSONALITY

a HUGE believer in the paranormal and urban legends, and one of his favorite things to do when he goes somewhere new is check out the local cemeteries and haunted locales. however, unlike his real world counterparts zak bagans and ryan bergara he’s definitely NOT a scaredy cat in fact, all his life there’s been this running joke that HE DOESN’T SEEM TO BE SCARED OF ANYTHING, and who knows? maybe he isn’t.

10/31 blaze it he’s a HUGE stoner.

he’s got jokes. stay vigilant.

he’s OBSESSED with all things horror, halloween, and 80s. he makes a lot of film references that are often so obscure that most people don’t even catch them.

he’s a lawyer! at least in the state of massachusetts. however, this is not at all common knowledge because…

most people don’t know how smart he actually is as he intentionally plays dumb and he’s really good at it. being high all the time and his natural chaotic energy is quite helpful in hiding his intelligence. he just doesn’t like to be seen as smart, so the whole once - brilliant law student thing? not common knowledge whatsoever. he tries not to mention the college he attended by name at all, but if he has to then he lies and says that he went to salem state.

btw yes, he has SO MUCH chaotic energy. he’s the kind of person who will stick a fork in his microwave just to see what would happen out of sheer boredom. he has two pet mexican redknee tarantulas named freddy and jason who he just…fucking loses track of every other day. his favorite drink is literally black coffee mixed together with a can of monster energy and 5 ( f i v e ) teaspoons of sugar. he is c h a o s. he has absolutely NO IMPULSE CONTROL whatsoever. 

even though he makes constant pop culture references about horror movies and the 80s, but outside of those areas he’s completely clueless about pop culture. like, he can recite the entire scripts of the shining and empire strikes back and ferris bueller’s day off word for word, but if someone tried to talk to him about the new post malone song or the latest marvel movie he would just stare blankly.

he has a HUGE sweet tooth. his favorite food is halloween candy and his favorite candy is black licorice disgusting i know.

he takes adderall for his adhd and he’s usually good about keeping up with it. started keeping them on his person in college because he realized that his meds were getting stolen and it’s a habit he’s held onto that doesn’t really keep his shit from getting stolen.

he’s good at…A LOT of things because he’s a really fast learner. he can play the guitar, he can draw, he did drama in high school. he just has to watch someone do something once and then he can usually immediately do it himself. this skill doesn’t extend to physical activities such as sports, however. he’s terrible at those.

he’s basically a cartoon character

WANTED CONNECTIONS

best friend from salem who travels with him * wc on the main

friends

paternal / maternal cousin ( paternal cousin’s grandparents would probably be from boston + maternal cousins grandparents would probably be from salem )

his weed dealer but they gotta have the really good shit

smoking buddies

people who don’t like him / find him annoying

has stolen his adderall

maybe someone who knows how smart he really is

romantic connections! 

these are just some base ideas and i’m definitely open to brainstorming!

[lostinthewiind]

Verbal Volatility - Part 2

Johnny Martin - Band of Brothers

One of you lovely little creatures requested part 2 of Verbal Volatility, so here it is! So glad you guys liked part 1 of this because Johnny Martin is so underrated honestly. I love him so much.

Btw, the ending sets this up for a possible smutty part 3, so...ugh...lemme know if you wanna see that. 

Part 1

Synopsis: you haven’t spoken to Martin since he kissed you, but after going on the patrol with him and losing Jackson, you blame him and yourself for the boy’s death. 

Your blood ran cold as you stared down at the lifeless body of Eugene Jackson on the basement floor. His face was covered in dirt and blood, but somehow, he looked peaceful; the exact opposite of how he had been not five minutes ago.

The poor boy had been screaming out to Roe that he didn’t want to die, all while he choked on his own blood. His limbs had been flailing and tears had been dripping down his face; but, he had been alive.

Now, his eyes were shut and he was still. No one moved, no one made a sound. Everyone just watched, hoping that maybe his chest would rise again; but it didn’t, it wouldn’t.

Ripping your eyes away from the boy’s corpse, you glared across the room at Martin, who was already looking your way. The ice in your veins melted immediately after you set your sights on his stern, accusing face, your blood boiling. 

At that moment you hated him. You hated him for telling Winters that Webster was going to be the translator, you hated him for letting Jackson throw the grenade, and you hated him for kissing you. 

If he had just kept his damn married lips to himself maybe you two would have worked together better at leading the patrol. Maybe you would have captured three POWs instead of two. Maybe Jackson would still be alive.

You weren’t just mad at him though, you were also furious with yourself. Furious and disappointed that you let the stupid kiss interfere with doing your job. You should have told Winters that you thought Liebgott was a better choice, you should have let someone else throw the grenade, you should have been a better leader. 

Martin broke the eye contact first, grabbing a nearby blanket before draping the thin fabric over the body. As soon as Jackson’s pale face was out of sight you felt yourself let out a breath that you hadn’t even been aware you had been holding in.

Deciding that you couldn’t be in that dingy, packed basement that reeked of death any longer, you spun on your heel and stomped up the stairs. The wooden steps creaked under your weight, the eerie sound making you shudder. 

The men watched you go, but most just assumed you were upset about Jackson. Martin was the only one who really knew what was going on under your stone-faced facade, but from his perspective, it was you who was more in wrong. If you hadn’t have been so stubborn earlier while deciding between Webster or Liebgott, everything would have been different. 

The only thing the two of you unknowingly agreed on was that the patrol should have run a lot smoother than it had. There should have been no deaths.

Upstairs, you managed to locate an empty room and shut the door behind yourself so you could take some time to sort your thoughts out. Your head was a useless jumble of questions, concerns, accusations, and guilt. 

Running your calloused, rough hands over your face, you let out a loud groan and tried to rub away all the emotions that were taking over your being. Jackson had only been twenty years old, making him sixteen when he enlisted in the first place. He had lied about his age to serve his country and what his country gave him in return was a meaningless death on a pathetic stretcher in a dark, dank basement. 

He deserved so much more and you couldn’t help but feel like you should have given it to him. You should have thrown the damn grenade yourself or at least ran after him when he frantically booked it up the steps, forgetting that he had to wait for the explosion to go off before opening the door.

He had been so young and so green — barely any combat experience under his belt.

The doorknob jiggling behind you made you sigh to yourself. You weren’t ready to deal with anyone’s problems, or God forbid, console anyone who was taking Jackson’s death hard. You couldn’t even console yourself.

The door swung open, someone marched in, and the door slammed shut again. Anger radiated off of the actions, and without even having to turn around, you knew who it was.

“If you think I have anything to say to you, you’re wrong.” you folded your arms over your chest, your back still turned to the intruder.

“That’s fine, you can listen, because this shit is your fault anyway.” Martin’s words made you grit your teeth. 

You let out a scoff laced with false amusement. “My fault?” you spun around. “You better be fucking joking. My fault?! This mess is just as much your responsibility as it is mine.”

“If you hadn’t been so unwilling to have a goddamn discussion about who was going on the patrol maybe we would have gotten around to deciding that Jackson wasn’t ready for something like that!” he spat, his eyes filled with red-hot fury.

“I’m sorry, was it me who was about to storm out of the room?” you tilted your head at him, feigning confusion. “Was it me who kissed you? Shit, sorry, I forgot, is it me who has a wife back home? What’s her name again? Sweet little Patricia Martin?”

Martin’s brows furrowed as he jabbed a hard finger into your chest. “Don’t you bring Patty into this.”

“Funny, you weren’t worried about Patty when your tongue was down my throat.”

Before you even had a chance to process your own retort, Martin’s arm had wound up and his palm had made contact with your cheek. The sound of the slap echoed through the small room and your breath caught in your throat. 

As your face whipped to the side, your hand rushed to the quickly warming skin. The sting was dull, but it was there. You couldn’t believe Martin had just hit you. 

Stumbling back a few steps, you looked back at the man before you, tears pricking your eyes. Martin’s face was pale and his eyes were wide, almost like he couldn’t believe what just happened as much as you couldn’t. 

“Johnny-” you squeaked out. “What-”

Martin rushed toward you and you jumped back again. The last time he had stormed toward you like that, you were almost sure he would never hit you. Last time he had taken out his anger in a different way. Now was different. Now you knew he would hit you, and you were very much doubting he was going to kiss you again. 

“No!” you snapped at him, your hands landing on his broad chest and pushing him away. “Don’t you take one more fucking step toward me, you fucking psycho! One minute you’re kissing me, the next you’re hitting me? You know what? Fuck this! I take it back. This mess is not both of our faults. You killed Jackson! He’s dead because of you!”

“I didn’t-” he started, but you cut him off before he could get so much as a single thought out.

“Do you hit Patty like this?” you posed the question, expecting no answer but growing more irate when he didn’t provide one. “Huh? Sweet Patricia Martin dares talk back and you lay your hands on her too?”

Martin’s lips quivered, his desire to speak evident on his face, but the words stopping before they made it out of his mouth. “Stop...” he growled, his tone low and rough. If he was still sorry for what he did to you, he didn’t show it. 

“You fucking woman hitter!” you screamed at the top of your lungs, not even caring if everyone in the house heard you. In fact, you hoped they did. At that moment, you wanted everyone to know what kind of a man Sergeant John Martin was. “Fucking boy killer!”

“I didn’t kill him!” he shouted back.

“Yes you did!” 

“Stop!”

“Fuck you!”

“Stop it!” 

“No!”

“Stop it!” he grabbed your face suddenly with his large hands and engulfed your mouth with his. Once again his married lips were on yours. “Stop it.” he kissed you hard. “I’m sorry.” another kiss. “I’m sorry.” his teeth nipped at your bottom lip. “I’m sorry.”

Tears were streaming down your face by then. Your head was swimming and you had no idea what to do. Your body was frozen but your heart was racing. I’m sorry Jackson you screwed your eyes shut. I’m sorry Patricia your hands found their way to Martin’s face. I’m sorry Johnny you found yourself melting into his touch. 

“I’m sorry I hit you,” Martin mumbled into your mouth. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. I’m sorry I got that boy killed. I’m sorry I kissed you. I’m sorry I’m kissing you.”

A sob escaped you as your lips pulled away from his. “Jackson is dead because of us.” your fingers ghosted down his neck before gripping onto his collar for dear life. “We weren’t a team out there tonight. Because of us, a mother and father are going to receive the worst news of their entire life. Because of us, a good life ended too early.”

“I know.” his forehead rested against yours. “I know.”

Your eyes drifted up to meet his. “You kissed me again.”

“I know.”

“But...”

Martin’s head dropped and he stared at your boots. “Please, don’t. Don’t say her name. Don’t.”

“What are we doing?”

“I don’t know.” Martin searched every corner of his brain for the right words to say; for any words to say. “You infuriate me...but at the same time, you make all of my anger disappear. I love Pa-” he stopped himself before her name slipped from his lips — his dirty, cheating lips. “I love my wife, I do. I do.”

Wiping the tears from your face with your sleeve, you nodded. “I know,” you assured him. “I know you do.” 

“I love her so fucking much.” he pressed his lips to yours once more, thoroughly confusing you and filling you with a million contradicting feelings. “God, I love her. She is my world. I love her so much.”

You hummed lightly as his tongue forced its ways into your mouth and his hands roamed your body wildly. “I believe you.” you breathed him in and silently scolded yourself for not pushing him away. He was obviously going through something and there you were, taking advantage of him. Or was he taking advantage of you?

Maybe you were taking advantage of each other. 

“I love my wife and I want her.” Martin moved his desperate tongue to your neck. “I want her, but I need you.”

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2010: 35 - 31

35. KEiiNO - “Spirit in the sky” Norway 2019

During the preshow I posited that "Spearwhil”  would be the Rasmussen but as it turned out-

I HEAR YOU CALLING ME AT NIGHT

No, Tom NOT NOW!!! I’m in the middle of my sentence. 🙄 Wait your turn Anyway, it turned out that ‘the Rasmussen’ really ought to be called ‘the KEiiNO’. Observe this Michal-esque rise up the scoreboard:

OutSzpak’ing Spzak. 😍 Let’s be honest though, it was-

I HEAR YOU CALLING ME AT NI-

- COMPLETELY DESERVED TOO.  Fred was especially great, who delivered EPIC yoik solo that I am sure won KEiiNO the televote on the spot. 😍

This particularly pleases me because I was worried Tom & Alexandra (who are both very good performers) would take the spotlight away from Fred, but no did the weakest link pre-show turned not only turn out to be the strongest one, but he was arguable the single strongest performer of finale night. SO PROUD OF THEM ANGELS. 😍 Let us all sing along

*cough* I said, “let us all sing along”

... 

(k Tom, now is ur cue)

I HEAR YOU CALLING ME AT NIIIIIGHT

THE NORTHERN LIGHTS ARE DANCING

HÅ LA HEI LOI LÅ

A lot of the criticism from KEiiNO comes from your typical value-seekers who can only enjoy themselves in public if their shallow trash comes coated in a thick layer of novelty gimmicks and Deep Meaning, so they don’t have to admit to others and themselves than they tune in to have fun, like everyone else. There’s nothing wrong with novelty gimmicks & the like, but applying that standard to everything is taking it a tad too far. Sometimes, simplicity is key and that’s exactly what KEiiNO were: unpretentious, highly-addictive EDM adorned with epic yoiking. 😍 

_______________________________________________________________

34. Gianluca - “Tomorrow” Malta 2013

"Tomorrow” is, to use Gianluca’s own words, a curious delight: I always, always, always forget about it. Then I rewatch 2013 as I do at least once per year, and each time it’s like a Céline Dion song IT’S ALL COMING BACK TO ME and I’m in love again. 😍 “Tomorrow” is such a clever twist of the typical love song by telling the story from the THIRD PERSON PERSPECTIVE by an all-knowing narrator. It’s world’s merriest audiobook. 😍

Naturally, this works because Gianluca has TONS of charisma. He’s one of the most magnetic humans ever on a Eurovision Stage? 

It’s hard to believe that he ages like the rest of us, I’d assume he was birthed fully formed and clothed, at age thirteen, in whatever rests at the end of a Neverlandian rainbow. 

“Tomorrow” could’ve so easily been one of those “Annoyingly Positive songs”, but because he’s so relentlessly jolly, Gianluca injects “Tomorrow” with limitless happy energy, enough to melt the polar icecaps. I am happy that I don’t revisit Gianluca between watches, as I do with others, because each time I rediscover him it’s like finding a four-leaf-clover. 🍀

________________________________________________________________

33. Elitsa Todorova & Stoyan Yankoulov - “Samo shampioni” Bulgaria 2013

IMA LI MLADI? IMA LI LYUDI? TSYALO SELO DOIDE PEITE NE SE BOITE

Let us continue with one of the most glorious trainwrecks EVER in Eurovision. 😍 Of course, this being the GOD-tier the severity of wreckage (aka the Sennek Factor) is even higher than normal. In the case of “Samo shampioni” the messiness began DURING THE PRESELECTIONS. 😍 Okay you may not remember or know this backstory, so allow me to enlighten you:

Okay, so *initially* BNT selected Elitsa & Stoyan and for some reason decided to hold an NF: They introduced: first a terrible rapbomination, second a boring ethnoballad (think Iriao + percussion) and then pulled out an experimental fusion of ethnic bagpipes, polyphonic singing and dubstep, which Elitsa openly pointed as her favourite. 😍 Obviously, the audience had to choose for the latter? NOPE The audience chose the iriao-esque ballad 😍 and in one of the most hilariously open displays of riggage, LESS THAN A DAY AFTER THE NF (and after Elitsa allegedly threw a huge backstage temper tantrum threatening to withdraw LMFAO), BNT produced a statement that was all like “well. we can’t send “Kismet”. 🤓 You see... it has come under our attention that... the songwriter from Argentina (lmao) can’t agree to the copyright terms we demanded of him 🤓but that’s fine because it means we can send “SAMO SHAMPIONI” instead 😊‘ <3333333333333333333333456789 who the fuck is Christer Björkman, fucking NOBODY that’s who. And of course, once “Samo Shampioni” finally got to Malmö it was an utter disaster. 😍 I say "disaster” in the best meaning of the word though. I LOVE when countries showcase their musical traditions, but Elitsa and Stoyan do it so aggressively, BLASTING the unassuming viewer with loud af bagpipe noises, following it up with a menuet of polyphony, a clarion of “AAAAAAAAAAAA-YUUUU” and a finale of dubstep and mayumaniacal percussion. “Samo Sampioni” was loud, abrasive, a clamour of ethnic noise but by the same token such a catchy, infectuous, delightful fucking BOP. No surprise it got jurypwned but it was well worth the effort. 😍

________________________________________________________________

32. Nadav Guedj - “Golden boy” Israel 2015

Welcome to the Dicedrome, ladies and gentlemen: Introducing the man who put Israel back on the map after four straight NQs. But Nadav is more than just a Hebrew Tom Dice. 

For starters, “Golden boy” is also the first time we were ever subjected to Doron Medalie (and also Imri Ziv but lol Imri), who is at his BEST here (apart from that moment when he brusquely shoved Cesár out of the way as if he were Krisse Salminen lmfao 😍): “Golden boy” has everything I could want in an uptempo party song: Drama, catchy rhythm, limitless fun, chanting, dancing and an absolutely ridiculous premise: sixteen year old boy gets wasted after fruitlessly flirting with all sorts of femfolk on his first night out. Yes, THIS

is sixteen years old. 😍 But what I mostly love about “Golden boy” is the humour. Intentional humour is really hard to get right and “Golden boy” NAILS it for me. From self-deprecating one-liners, to that choreography to b-roll material like the sound effect of beer being pourn as Nadav gets further into the song, to of course the epic finale of “THREE MINUTES! BYE :selfie”. 😍

A wild ride which, as serendipity demands, is topped off by Nadav kicking off a strong Israeli streak that indeed ENDS up with Israel winning the contest (with a worse Doron composition :-/) and him showing us around in Tel Aviv. Funny how life works sometimes, huh? 

OKAY GOTTA GO  THREE PARAGRAPHS BYEBYE

_______________________________________________________________

31. Jessy Matador - “Allez ola olé” France 2010

Did you know “Matador” is Eurospeak for “SLAYER”?  😉

Speaking of EPIC party songs, I was looking “Allez Ola Olé” up for my usual ranking purposes and this song.. is one of the most successful Eurovision songs EVER? I am not surprised, because “Allez olla olé” OWNS, but at the same time random 12th placers becoming massive off-season hits <3

(yes I am aware it’s because it was the French “Waka Waka” but that’s even more hilar, actually. What on earth is it doing in Eurovision <3)

Anyway, “Allez ola olé” definitely DESERVES all praise it can get. ETERNAL THORN IN THE SIDE OF THE EUROVISION ELITISTS <3 it is of course the anti-Proud, being all rhythm and no story, literally having no purpose other than making people dance (which I LOVE doing to “Allez Ola Olé”... within the confines of my bedroom, with the curtains closed because I have the dancing skills of drunk JarJar Binks) and honestly, what a spectacle. 😍

It features, in order of ascending awesomeness, male twerking (gender equality <3)

witty references to sex (which I don’t mind here because it’s clearly consentual, and therefore, healthy, ICKOLAS)

“Je sens le truc monter/..😏 ALLEEEEZ 😱”. 

DAM BA DAM BA DAM BA DAM DAM

A fucking HAKA????? (btw, the female backing doing a salute is also lowkey great <3)

Actually, TWO HAKA’S????

This song may not have relevant meaning but my weave flew all the way to French Polynesia. “Allez, ola, olé” is nothing less than fucking AWESOME. 

In this update, we pay our final respects to Norway, Malta and France: Read more about them below:

NORWAY

I don’t feel like this chart reflects my true feelings on Norway, because I like them a LOT more than what their average implies. They’re largely just dragged down by a few bad entries in the first half of the decade. Norway in the second half of this decade has shown a lot of promise and they are on my list of countries that I expect to win in the upcoming decade. 

MALTA

Malta are a very average Eurovision country imo. As you can see, they very often select songs that are not worth giving a fuck about, but conversely the few times that they do, they’re usually excellent happy-go-lucky gems. I could see them winning if they find that rare 1-in-50 entry (by one of their jesc winners preferably), but only if they keep internally selecting their entrant because lmao MES(s)C <3

FRANCE

This is a really good chart for France and roughly what I expected. Not my favourite country but solidly upper tier. France really have reinvented themselves post 2016 and are reaping the rewards with generally higher results. I hope it gets topped off with another win soon. They deserve it. 

[onethrills]

hey all, i have a full bio written for him here, but i’m going to just post the tl;dr beneath the cut. from there, if anyone feels like plotting with my problem child, let me know either with a like or by hitting me up on discord! btw i’m hazel (they/them), 25, est. 

Trigger Warnings: Mental illness/Ableism, only mentioned. Drugs. Violence.

Kangdae grew up in a small, two-bedroom house in a rather down-trodden neighborhood of Las Vegas, Nevada. His mother immigrated from South Korea several years prior, and his father was a Las Vegas native born and raised. He was given the nickname “Dane” by his father, before he abandoned him and his mother at the age of five. It stuck.

Korean was the only language spoken in his home after his father left. He was quick to absorb it, and he communicated smoothly both with his mother and with his English-speaking peers around his neighborhood and in his school.

It became apparent that his mother’s mental health was beginning to deteriorate by the age of seven, for Dane. By the age of ten he realized he couldn’t fix it. She suffered from paranoid schizophrenia, and though there were times when she was taking the medicine she was prescribed for it, she more often did not. She began disappearing, a strange behavior considering the way she acted when she was home, as if going out into the world would be the end of everyone. She often kept Dane home with her during such episodes.

It wasn’t until he turned twelve that he realized the real reason his mother had been disappearing was to self-medicate with drugs off the street. She did this during her more lucid times, and because of it, she did not come back when she should have. Eventually, she didn’t come back at all.

From age sixteen, Dane was essentially taking care of himself, if not years before that. This was a turning point for him, though. He was often belligerent and guarded when he was at school, a result of his classmates not being particularly fond of his off-putting demeanor and tendency to prefer being alone as opposed to being around them. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be social, it was just that he didn’t want to be social with them. They didn’t take it well when he explained that.

Fights were commonplace for him. They hurt him academically as well as physically, but he never seemed to care. All he cared about was getting the last word, and with a calculating mind and a penchant for going for the throat, both figuratively and literally, that’s exactly what he did.

Despite this, he managed to graduate on time, and then following that, he did what he’d always planned to: found a way to get out of that place.

Scamming older men in bars out of their money was easy enough, but the aftermath? Well, not so much. Dane earned himself quite a few bumps and bruises and even a broken bone or two during his months doing that, and he slept in cheap motels, or in other peoples’ beds. It was fun, for a time. Exciting, even. Eventually, though, even his migration to Reno seemed to get old, and he decided it was time to leave.

Ending up in Boulder was entirely by accident. So was falling in love with somebody there. He stayed longer than he wanted to, far longer, and he got in way deeper than he expected. He took college courses in computer science and coding, excelling without the violence and chaos of what he’d dealt with in high school, and he loved. He was in love with love.

Unfortunately, his restless nature and tendency to get into trouble eventually won out. He dug too deep, learned too much, and did too much. Discovering the ins and outs of what it takes to crack into anything he wanted to took some time, of course, but he managed it — he also managed to get himself kicked out onto his ass after he hacked into the personal files of his lover, invasive in a sudden bout of jealousy brought on by seeing them in a seemingly intimate position with somebody else.

From there, he once again did what he did best: he moved on. He didn’t exactly intend for his final destination to be New York, but as it turns out, that’s just how it was. He spent his time in the city wisely, doing freelance work coding websites and other such things, and underneath the facade doing things perhaps a bit more… morally ambiguous than he strictly should have been.

Being turned was a traumatic experience for him. He often recalls it in nightmares that he can’t quite shake, though it’s been years since then. His adjustment to becoming a vampire was a rough one. There was nobody there to teach him for a long time, until finally someone tracked him down due to his feeding habits and helped him understand the rules, the way things worked (WANTED CONNECTION!!!)

Dane sort of stands on neutral ground when it comes to the tensions with the lycans. He’ll sell his exceptional abilities to the highest bidder, and that’s how it’s always been — how it always will be.

Quick Facts

FULL NAME: kangdae won. NICKNAME: dane. AGE: twenty-six years old. DOB: january fifteenth, 1993. SUN SIGN: capricorn. SPOKEN LANGUAGES: english, korean, spanish, japanese, some mandarin. RELIGION: athiest; borderline nihilist, being honest, though he does not follow these views strictly. GENDER: cis male. PRONOUNS: he/him/his. ORIENTATION: bisexual. SPECIES: non-pureborn vampire. FROM: las vegas, nevada. CURRENTLY: new york city, new york. EDUCATION: completed high school; some university. PERSONALITY TYPE: INTP (The Logician) ALIGNMENT: chaotic neutral.

— he has a playlist, if anybody is interested.

[oc-character-development]

More about my OC’s #1: Charlie Finch

For those who don’t know, Charlie is the character I created for the Monster of The Week one of my cousin’s friends are running (who I’ve now met and we get on like a house on fire like my cousin predicted we would, apparently we’re very much alike in personality, I don’t see it though) and although we haven’t started playing I’ve started developing my character with a backstory for the campaign. I thought I’d dive a bit more into the backstory from the previous post I did (which also included a awful drawing of Charlie because I can’t draw).

Detailed backstory:

Charlotte ‘Charlie’ Finch was born 16 years ago to two loving (and young) parents in Greenwich, London. Her parents were often busy with what she assumed was work (and she was technically right, her parents were working but for a coven of monster hunters that included my cousin’s character) but they were a happy small family who never missed an opportunity to spend time together. When Charlie was five, however things started to change, she started having horrendous nightmares and visions of monsters and the future, of course her parents were concerned about her and took her to a doctor who determined nothing was wrong and that she was just being a typical kid, and her mum kind of just brushed her nightmares off but her father didn’t. Her dad believed her every word but told her to keep her nightmares a secret between, due to it freaking people out and he promised to figure out what was wrong with her. One night, she had a nightmare that staged her dad being attacked by something unseen which scared her more than anything had before, her dad calmed her down and promised he wasn’t going anywhere.

A year later, when she was six, the worst happened, her dream became true. Whilst her mum and dad were out hunting a pack of werewolves for the coven and she was staying at her grandparent’s house, her dad was attacked by one of them and scratched across his face, passing on the Lycanthropy to him. Terrified of putting his daughter in danger, he left both his wife and daughter that night never to be seen again. To protect her from the truth, his wife told their daughter that he had been killed and that the killer had disappeared (A* parenting from her mum there) which the six year old accepted, heartbroken and was left feeling like it was all her fault.

Her mum then pulled out of monster hunting and continued with her teaching degree that she had started before she quit university, and worked her way up to becoming a headteacher by the time Charlie was twelve. By this time Charlie was a lot more withdrawn preferring to spend time in her room, reading and escaping to fantasy worlds within her books than spending time with her mum, and because she was often caught up in the grief and guilt for her dad she only had a few friends at school and was bullied for being weird.

By the time she meets my cousin’s currently unnamed professional character, she’s sixteen and is increasingly getting more aware that her dreams about monsters are becoming reality although she doesn’t believe that monsters and the supernatural are actually real. She has also developed social anxiety, which is going to be interesting when she actively accepts her role destiny as the chosen one and has to make speeches (it’s actually the in world reason for my real life inability to explain things or give speeches without stumbling or appearing extremely nervous or talking more than two sentences without stumbling over myself) although she’ll probably get more confident as the storyline progresses because character development.

Extra facts about Charlie:

She’s based off the characters of Hermione Granger and Percy Jackson with a sprinkle of Chidi from The Good Place and Cather Avery from Fangirl (great book by the way and would 100% recommend)

She’s also heavily based off how I was at age 16 😂

Her full name is Charlotte Willow Ophelia Finch (although I’m keeping her middle names a secret from the rest of the group as she’s extraordinarily embarrassed about the Ophelia part of her name)

She sounds like Emma Watson.

she has a small group of friends from school (like 1 or 2) but that’s it.

Her special weapon is a Scythe (that may or may not be magical, I haven’t decided on the specifics yet). This came about because I was watching Adventure Zone: Balance arc videos on YouTube and I love Kravitz (my favourite NPC from that arc although Angus is a very close second) and I thought hey, I want to play a character with a Scythe so I gave her a Scythe.

I don’t know how she got said Scythe yet, I think that’s going to be told during the MOW campaign storyline.

She found out about her fate through vision and nightmares, and her heroic tags tied to her fate are ‘true love’ (totally a 16 year old priority 😂) and ‘a normal life’ and her doom tags are ‘you can’t save everyone’ and ‘no normal life’

She doesn’t know monsters exist or that she is the chosen one.

She has a typical teen relationship with her mum but it is a little more strained after she finds out her mum is lying to her.

Her childhood hero is her dad

My cousin’s unnamed character (who’s a vampire witch btw I forgot to mention that part 😂) is going to be the mentor figure and probable mother-figure to Charlie.

She will really want to find her dad if she ever finds out the truth about his disappearance and assumed murder.

Depending on which part of London the campaign is set, she probably moved house at some point, most likely after her dad’s ‘death’ (unless it is actually set in Greenwich in which case she didn’t but I don’t know because our Keeper is obviously keeping all the details to himself before we start playing)

The details to her backstory might have to change depending on what our keeper allows but I like creating detailed backstories anyway.

[darkzorua100]

When it comes to the majority of the anime I watch, I don’t believe in the concept of death. Unless I see a body, I don’t believe a character has actually died. When it comes to anime like Yu-Gi-Oh, even if we see them die on screen, unless it is some kind of Bruno case (which is extremely rare), they always find a way to revive the dead characters in the end. It is why I don’t believe Windy’s kid and Earth are dead dead. I’ve been so conditioned to believe that the character is still alive or will be bought back in some BS way because it always happens. The Boy Who Cried Wolf scenario.

That’s the best way I can describe the end of the Ghost Girl vs Blood Shepherd duel. 

Now the duel itself was amazing. We got to see both sides Synchro Summon and the plays that Ghost Girl made were just awesome and to me felt like something you would actually see in the real life card game from a Altergeist player. Sadly though, BS still ended up pulling out the win and at this point, after what just happened, I can’t take him serious anymore when it comes to Emma. What happens is what we basically are never going to see after the BS vs Soulburner duel which is that Blood Shepherd doesn’t shoot Ghost Girl. He lets her keep her account, making the whole duel completely pointless since he doesn’t even get Aqua afterwards for winning. Are you kidding me right now? This is actually stupid. Playmaker vs Bohman round 3 and Soulburner vs BS results left a bad taste in my mouth since they both felt like cop-outs (so Playmaker and Soulburner wouldn’t actually lose) but this is actually a cop-out. People have pointed out that Emma would have been just fine if she lost her account. She could have took the Kusanagi route for Aoi. That would have been perfectly fine! No instead the writers chickened out at the last second and boom, Ghost Girl is still alive out of basically pity from her older brother all because she had to get the final words in of “oh just to let you know, our dad died. Hope that doesn’t change your thoughts about deleting my account!”. I hate the Aoi/Miyu/Aqua story because it feels so cheated in but this...this is just the writers not holding up their end of the bargain and now I can’t trust them to not do this again when it comes to Emma and Kengo. I just hate when people set a set of rules for their universe in fiction and just don’t follow through with them. Why should we be worried about these characters then if nothing bad is actually going to happen to them? Playmaker and Soulburner never losing because they have a Ignis. Blue Maiden is probably never going to lose now because she has a Ignis. I don’t see what I should care or worry about them and that makes me so mad but mostly sad. 

So we get somewhat of a backstory for Emma and Kengo. They are actually half-siblings with them sharing a father who left Kengo’s mother for reasons and years later met Emma’s mother and they got busy, resulting in Emma’s birth. Seems to me that Kengo has always had a bit of a resentful side to him because of this and his car accident simply brought him to his breaking point or simply just gave him an excuse to unleash all of his anger out onto the world. Now I’m honestly not trying to find reasons to hate on the show as of late, since that seems to be a common factor now, but I don’t like how Emma found this out. Her doing some digging into Blood Shepherd’s past I can see, since this is Emma, but I don’t understand why they didn’t show us the ending to their confrontation in 63, 14 episodes ago all the way back in the beginning of August mind you, if they weren’t going to go back to that scene as the reveal. If they just showed us the end to that confrontation for the beginning of the episode as the recap and added onto it, with Blood Shepherd letting it slip that they were siblings and Ghost Girl being shocked about it, it could have lead Emma into doing all that digging to find out that hey, they actually are siblings. If we are to believe that she knew about this since the beginning of season 2, since the flashback showed her in her old Ghost Girl avatar, that just doesn’t make sense since Emma was clearly still wondering what the actual hell was going on, retconing the whole thing. 

The duel was awesome. It was just the beginning and the end parts to it that were just done so badly -_- 

Now onto the thing the everyone is going crazy about: Blue Maiden. Again, I’m not trying to hate, if you love the new design that’s great! More power to you for getting a design that screams character growth. I just...don’t. And I honestly don’t know why. The outfit is fine, I think it is just the hair that makes me dislike it so much. I was honestly expecting to to be long, since her Blue Angel form had her hair in ponytails and Blue Girl was short (which btw I’m going to miss that hairstyle since it was amazing) but the color pallet just looks wrong. It is a different shade of blue from what Aoi’s other forms had, actually the color pallets were flipped, so maybe that’s what bugs me. Also, the fact that she does look so grown up just looks...wrong? Is that the word to use? She is supposed to be sixteen and looks like she should be Emma’s age or something. It just doesn’t feel right. I know I’m going to get used to after a while but for now...I just don’t know. 

So we get a little bit more about Miyu, who actually did change her hairstyle during the Hanoi Project to reflect Aoi, and yeah Aoi is her Ryoken. Simple as that. Still don’t like this development but I’m starting to sound like a broken record as this point so moving on. Aqua and Blue Maiden team up, as to be expected, and them and the boys fly off into the sunset (well not really but you get the idea) as the new trio (because Go decided that frame was more important) which honestly doesn’t feel earned (since the boys still hasn’t told Aoi their identities yet or just the fact that they are going along with the fact that Aoi has an Ignis after the fact that she tried to steal theirs for SOL) but I’m just complaining at this point for no god damn reason.

So yeah, if it wasn’t obvious, besides the duel, I really didn’t like this episode. Honestly I do like how they are trying to get the girls involved in the story, which is saying something since in the previous series they would have been written out completely at this point, let alone have such a big role in the story that Aoi has now, but I just don’t like how it was structured to get us to this point. Aoi/Miyu/Aqua came out of nowhere and the Emma/Kengo storyline, while it had so much build up to it, just didn’t have the payoff that it deserved but that might just be me. I never expect any of my opinions to be popular and I’m fine with that. Once again, if you love everything that has been happening so far for the females, that’s amazing! I’m glad for you! Truly I am! I just wished I could say the same. 

The preview though. Wow Blood Shepherd is getting screen time in the form of duels. We knew about Ghost Girl and Lightning but not Revolver. Omg yes! We are actually getting the Wild West shoot out! They are actually going to duel in a wasteland! I wasn’t expecting this. I just thought 78 was going to be a plot episode. I’m not complaining this time but you all know I’m a Ryoken/Revolver fangirl so there might be some biased there. I have no shame to admit that. So who do I think is winning this? Pfff not even a question, Revolver is so going to kick his ass. He’s going to Mirror Force him just like he did to his younger sister and when he does I’m going to laugh so hard at the irony. Oh it truly is a wonderful thing to have our meme lord back.

[curtisandlewis]

A Guide to The Playhouse

The Playhouse is a fic of my own creation and my baby. It originated from my need to write about the parties that Jerry, Tony, and Janet revolved their lives around that occurred at the building in Jerry's backyard affectionately named The Playhouse. As I sat down to plot this epic story that spanned from 1948 to 1953 relationships developed complexity, conflict was practically handed to me, and I got the gift of writing scene after scene of Jerry with Tony. They're not my OTP but are my biggest obsession. However, I am completely changing the storyline.

I knew from the start the "The Playhouse" would not be a fairytale. The relationships are complex and can be unhealthy and abusive. Mental illness, trauma, sex addiction, abuse of drugs and alcohol all contribute to risky and abusive behaviors. BDSM is also at the core of the story both being practiced in safe and dangerous ways. I thought it would be sufficient just include warnings at the beginning of each chapter as I do for any of my fics that can be "problematic" but I now realize the twenty or so thousand words I have written are not just "problematic" but can be harmful especially to anyone like me. I have written this guide to explain why I wrote those words and hopefully reverse any damage they have done.  

To anyone that read what I wrote and got the impression that certain sexual acts were more taboo or wrong than others, I am truly sorry. That is a fucked up way to live. I wouldn’t wish anyone to have shame for who they are or what they want in a consensual sexual relationship. Think about the sex you enjoy, without shame or restriction. Read the sex scenes that entertain you the most. Write the kind of sex you want to see in the world and is the most fun for you to write. Choose to masturbate and explore your body in the ways you want. Or choose not to touch yourself. Have sex in any way you and your partner/partners desire and consent to. Or choose not to have sex at all. It is your decision to make. That is your right as a person who is in charge of their own body. Please learn from my mistakes. 

I just want to make it clear that the film adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey came out in February 9, 2015. I had no idea about the book until I saw the trailer for the movie. The first chapter of "The Playhouse" was published May 17, 2014, and I had been writing and planning several months before that. I have never read Fifty Shades of Grey and I only saw the first half hour (I couldn't make it to the sex scenes) of the movie in 2016. After I saw Christian Grey say the infamous line, "I don't make love. I fuck. Hard." I worried that Tony was similar to Christian Grey and that his relationship with Jerry was similar to the one in the movie. However, I NEVER presented their sexual relationship as a love story to be watched on Valentine's day. It may be that the two stories have nothing in common but I obsessively worried that they were and that I wrote something deeply problematic.

In March of 2015, I wrote a spin off of "The Playhouse" about the first time Tony humps Jerry (their fave activity). After I wrote it I felt like I had done something wrong. Not too long after something bad happened to a member of my family. I believed by writing the words in that story I had caused the bad thing because I was being punished. I now know I have OCD and this is how OCD works against you. It makes you believe you caused something when there is no logical way you could have caused it to happen. This is why "The Playhouse" has not been updated in over two years. I can look back now and realize the reason why I felt like I had done something wrong is that the characters were acting in a way that was wrong to who they were. I had projected my anxiety and shame onto them.

From here on out there will be liberal use of sex terms and discussion of sex  

What you need to know: I have anxiety writing anal sexual stimulation or anal sex due to many toxic beliefs and stigmas I internalized over the years. To avoid writing these scenes I made Dean's character believe due to his internalized homophobia that it was wrong for a man to penetrate another man or be penetrated by any gender even if in masturbation. Since the age of sixteen, Jerry has had curiosity about being penetrated. Tony has wanted to top Jerry since Jerry's sixteenth birthday (the fic that sparked my OCD) that is six years starting from chapter one of the story. To again, avoid having to write any penetrative scenes I had to write Dean being emotionally abusive and using shame and threats to control Jerry's sexual behavior. All of this because I as a writer did not realize I could just not fucking write anal sex scenes. I thought if I wrote a bunch of dry humping scenes you would think I was weird so instead, I wrote horribly abusive relationships...

Quick History lesson, since the medieval times it was believed evil for a man to be penetrated because he was in a passive role that was reserved for women. Men that were penetrated were put to death while women who had sex with women without penetration were encouraged to do so for their health. These toxic beliefs are deep within history and still exist in society.

Allow me to get a little bit personal. I’ve always had anxiety writing anal sex scenes. I’ve written it very rarely in the past ten years that I have been writing sex scenes. I wrote mostly oral sex because it was less "homosexual" than anal sex. (I had a lot of internalized crap I was dealing with). Even though it’s absolutely possible for two men to have a sexual relationship and never have anal sex, I thought it would be too weird for Dean and Jerry to be having sex for six years and never try it. Also as a writer, I enjoy writing them being physically intimate but not having sex. That word I see in fanfiction tags: frottage (such a weird word). You know the act of two men rubbing up against each other. It just offers so many more options than manual sex or oral sex ever could. THE FACT YOU DON’T HAVE TO TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF. How convenient is that? But I never saw it as the main option for sexual gratification. It was always presented as either foreplay or the only option because the characters couldn’t have sex. What made me feel weirder is that I enjoyed writing “humping” scenes (also a strange word) This is “frottage” but front to back instead of front to front. All of the advantages of anal sex without any of the problems. It required no prep. Whoever is on top can do it as hard and fast as they want and not hurt their partner. Likewise, to show intimacy it can be done in a gentle and romantic way, maybe even being left for special occasions like anniversaries. It’s also very easy for Tony and Jerry to take turns being top and Jerry doesn’t always have to be in the passive submissive role. Speaking of submissive it’s also easy to incorporate BDSM without it becoming too intense. Have you read those stories where the guy bleeds? You know what I mean. I didn’t want Jerry to bleed. And if he did I didn’t want it to be sexy. I wanted it to show that his sex addiction was getting out of hand or their BDSM relationship was becoming reckless. They can do it again, and again, and again. It wouldn’t put nearly the amount of strain on Jerry’s body that intercourse would. And of course, if you read “The Playhouse” you know that I use it an awful lot in group sex situations and to show just how fucking possessive Dean can be. As you can see there were a lot of positives to writing scenes in this way but that didn’t stop me from feeling weird about it. I probably read only one scene like that in my life. Before that, I saw it only a few times in movies and it made me go hmmm. I felt it was something that wasn’t really talked about or done. It wasn’t presented as an alternative to sex or even an option. I thought if I were to write the scenes I wanted to, people who read them would say, “Why don’t they just fuck already? What the fuck am I reading? This is so weird.”

I projected all of my toxicity onto Jerry. It started out simple enough I heard a lot of jokes as a kid that went, you must have known your husband was “gay” because he liked your finger up his ass. Because all women that enjoy receiving oral sex are “lesbian” right? (I hope you saw the sarcasm in that) Then I noticed there weren’t a lot of heterosexual married couples in movies having non vaginal intercourse. Sometimes you could see the couple in the “doggystyle” position but the wife was still being penetrated in her vagina. When I saw the other form of intercourse it was gay men or people not in love. I think that had a lasting effect on me. But what was worse is that I watched a movie with a BDSM theme. The woman worked as a dominatrix (hated her job btw) and her male partner confessed to her that he liked to be penetrated and dominated. Her reaction was so verbally abusive it was disgusting. Instead of thinking you are a horribly abusive person and he needs to leave you I internalized it as oh I guess it’s really not okay for men to want that. I have struggled with internalized homophobia, biphobia, and transphobia. I have dealt with it all. I just didn’t have the tools back then to see things as they are. An abusive woman who had a very illogical view of the world and a media that didn’t have the imagination or the knowledge of what sexual relationships could be.

These are the general reasons why I wrote: "The Playhouse" with such problematic themes and why I have decided to no longer continue those themes.

The lesson I learned from this was to not project my toxic shit onto my characters and make them act in ways that are not authentic to who they are. I give myself the permission to write what makes me happy and fulfilled.

DEAN: What you need to know: Dean has internalized homophobia due to childhood trauma. He was taught if a man is penetrated by a person of any gender they will instantly become homosexual and not a man.

As a young boy Dean was told by his mother don't be a f...well, I'm sure you can guess what she said. All his life he was reprimanded (sometimes with hitting) for behavior that was too "homosexual" Behaviors like, crying, telling someone he loved them and showing emotion. As he got older his so called friends just made his internalized homophobia worse. He was terrified that he wasn't masculine enough and that he had to be a man like they said or else be nothing. Along the way Dean was taught the rules, he lives his life by:

A man never says "I love you" even to his own family

A man never ever says "I love you" to another man

A man never lets anyone see him cry or be emotional

A man must keep people at a distance

A man has sex with women and has sex often

A man has a wife and children and whatever he can get on the side

A man can do "guy stuff" with other guys as a form of bonding or just a quick way to get off.

A man does not suck cock

A man can get his cock sucked by another man and be secure in his manhood because he is in the active "manly" role

A man must never ever under any circumstance be penetrated by anyone even himself. A man must not fantasize or actively desire to be penetrated otherwise he is a homosexual and will no longer be a man. He will be nothing.

That is the reasoning for Dean's problematic and abusive behavior towards Jerry. He tries to control Jerry's sexual behavior and desires because if Jerry were to be homosexual Dean would have to end their sexual relationship (He could never think of ending their friendship). 

The truth is that in real life during the time Dean was growing up this was NOT the belief. It was believed a man could have anal sex with another man as long as he was the one doing the penetrating. This meant he was in the active "male" role. It was actually preferred to penetrate a feminine homosexual man because they were believed to not be men and to be a third gender. Jerry is bisexual, not homosexual but close enough to be a PERFECT candidate. The only worry Dean would have is hurting his pally that first time. They could happily fuck for the whole ten years of their partnership and Dean would think of himself as nothing but the picture of masculine heterosexuality.

and of course

YOU CAN ABSOLUTELY HAVE ANY KIND OF SEX YOU WANT AND MOST CERTAINLY MASTURBATE IN THE WAY MOST PLEASURABLE TO YOU WITHOUT AFFECTING YOUR SEXUALITY JUST AS LONG AS YOU DON’T CAUSE HARM TO YOURSELF OR OTHERS.

What you need to know: Dean is emotionally and at times verbally abusive to Jerry and arguably to his wife Betty as well.