#Stoyan Yankoulov

[gaymer-hag-stan]

Good evening Europe!

It's that magical time of the year again when we all come together to trash each others' musical tastes!

The point system has changed many times over the years, and as various countries have come and gone, it is hard to determine who did "the best" based on the points they got alone as, since the maximum available points doubled with the jury and televote scores no longer being combined, post 2016 entries would have an obvious advantage and, likewise, the contests with 40+ participants would also have more maximum available points to give so a country getting 200 points in 2004 is not the same as another getting 200 points in 2009 or 2016.

But if we divide the points each entry got by the maximum available points for the respective year it competed, we get a percentage score that can easily be measured against entries from years with differing point systems.

So, for example, in 2009 42 countries participated. The maximum points each country can award is of course 12 and you can't vote for yourself. So 41 × 12 = 492. Let's then take Norway's total of 387 points and divide it by the 492 total of maximum available points. We get 78.6, meaning Norway and Alexander Rybak amassed 78.6% of the total points in 2009!

In the case of tie breaks the entry that placed higher in its respective year wins the tie break and if there's still a tie I used rules similar to the actual contest; the winner of a tie is the entry that received more points from televoting. If there are no split results available to the public, the entry that received points from more countries, then the country that received more 12 points, then 10 points all the way down to 1. If the tie cannot be broken in this way, the entry that performed earlier wins the tie break.

I've set 2004 as the "beginning of time", if you will, because that's when I started watching Eurovision and because there also had to be some sort of limit to how far back I would go with this 🤣

With that very long-winded explanation of my measuring tactics out of the way, shall we see our current Top 100 before new entries are added after the 2023 Grand Final is over?

100. Greece 🇬🇷 - 2010 - Giorgos Alkaios and Friends - Opa - 30.7%

99. Armenia 🇦🇲 - 2010 - Eva Rivas - Apricot Stone - 30.9%

98. Bulgaria 🇧🇬 - 2016 - Poli Genova - If Love Was a Crime - 31.1%

97. Belgium 🇧🇪 - 2010 - Tom Dice - Me and My Guitar - 31.3%

96. Azerbaijan 🇦🇿 - 2019 - Chingiz - Truth - 31.4%

95. North Macedonia 🇲🇰 - 2019 - Tamara Todevska - Proud - 31.7%

94. Serbia 🇷🇸 - 2008 - Jelena Tomasevic feat. Bora Duguc - Oro - 31.7%

93. Azerbaijan 🇦🇿 - 2010 - Safura - Drip Drop - 31.7%

92. Bulgaria 🇧🇬 - 2007 - Elitsa Todorova and Stoyan Yankoulov - Water - 31.7%

91. Moldova 🇲🇩 - 2005 - Zdob si Zdub - Boonika bate toba - 32.4%

90. Ukraine 🇺🇦 - 2006 - Tina Karol - Show Me Your Love - 32.6%

89. Denmark 🇩🇰 - 2010 - Chanée and N'evergreen - In a Moment like This - 32.6%

88. Finland 🇫🇮 - 2021 - Blind Channel - Dark Side - 33%

87. Hungary 🇭🇺 - 2014 - András Kállay-Saunders - Running - 33.1%

86. Turkey 🇹🇷 - 2007 - Kenan Dogulu - Shake It Up Sekerim - 33.1%

85 Greece 🇬🇷 - 2013 - Koza Mostra feat. Agathon Iakovidis - Alcohol Is Free - 33.3%

84. Serbia 🇷🇸 - 2022 - Konstrakta - In corpore sano - 33.3%

83. Latvia 🇱🇻 - 2005 - Walters and Khaza - The War Is Not Over - 33.5%

82. Israel 🇮🇱 - 2005 - Shiri Maimon - HaSheket SheNish'ar - 33.7%

81. Germany 🇩🇪 - 2008 - Michael Schulte - You Let Me Walk Alone - 33.7%

80. Italy 🇮🇹 - 2017 - Francesco Gabbani - Occidentali's Karma - 33.9%

79. Austria 🇦🇹 - 2018 - Cesár Sampson - Nobody but You - 33.9%

78. Norway 🇳🇴 - 2019 - Keiino - Spirit in the Sky - 34.4%

77. Romania 🇷🇴 - 2007 - Luminita Anghel and Sistem - Let Me Try - 34.6%

76. Sweden 🇸🇪 - 2019 - John Lundvik - Too Late for Love - 34.7%

75. Ukraine 🇺🇦 - 2011 - Mika Newton - Angel - 34.8%

74. Sweden 🇸🇪 - 2017 - Robin Bengtsson - I Can't Go On - 34.9%

73. United Kingdom 🇬🇧 - 2009 - Jade Ewen - It's My Time - 35.1%

72. Romania 🇷🇴 - 2010 - Paula Seling and Ovi - Playing with Fire - 35.5%

71. Turkey 🇹🇷 - 2009 - Hadise - Düm Tek Tek - 35.9%

70. Norway 🇳🇴 - 2008 - Maria - Hold On Be Strong - 36.1%

69. Lithuania 🇱🇹 - 2006 - LT United - We Are the Winners - 36.4%

68. Belgium 🇧🇪 - 2017 - Blanche - City Lights - 36.8%

67. Turkey 🇹🇷 - 2010 - Manga - We Could Be the Same - 37.2%

66. Switzerland 🇨🇭 - 2019 - Luca Hänni - She Got Me - 37.9%

65. Moldova 🇲🇩 - 2017 - SunStroke Project - Hey Mamma - 38%

64. Russia 🇷🇺 - 2013 - Dina Garipova - What If - 38.1%

63. Sweden 🇸🇪 - 2006 - Carola - Invincible - 38.2%

62. Russia 🇷🇺 - 2019 - Sergey Lazarev - Scream - 38.5%

61. Romania 🇷🇴 - 2006 - Mihai Traistariu - Tornerò - 38.7%

60. Armenia 🇦🇲 - 2008 - Sirusho - Qélé, Qélé - 39.4%

59. Latvia 🇱🇻 - 2015 - Aminata - Love Injected - 39.7%

58. Ukraine 🇺🇦 - 2021 - Go_A - Shum - 39.9%

57. Armenia 🇦🇲 - 2014 - Aram Mp3 - Not Alone - 40.3%

56. Sweden 🇸🇪 - 2004 - Lena Philipsson - It Hurts - 40.4%

55. Cyprus 🇨🇾 - 2004 - Lisa Andreas - Stronger Every Minute - 40.4%

54. Sweden 🇸🇪 - 2011 - Eric Saade - Popular - 40.5%

53. Iceland 🇮🇸 - 2021 - Dathi og Gagnamagnith - 10 Years - 41.4%

52. Italy 🇮🇹 - 2011 - Raphael Gualazzi - Madness of Love - 41.4%

51. Australia 🇦🇺 - 2015 - Guy Sebastian - Tonight Again - 41.8%

50. Norway 🇳🇴 - 2013 - Margaret Berger - I Feed You My Love - 41.8%

49. Azerbaijan 🇦🇿 - 2009 - AySel and Arash - Always - 42%

48. Russia 🇷🇺 - 2007 - Serebro - Song #1 - 42%

47. Malta 🇲🇹 - 2005 - Chiara - Angel - 42.1%

46. Greece 🇬🇷 - 2008 - Kalomira - Secret Combination - 43.2%

45. Cyprus 🇨🇾 - 2018 - Eleni Foureira - Fuego - 43.2%

44. Serbia 🇷🇸 - 2012 - Zeljko Joksimovic - Nije ljubav stvar - 43.4%

43. Iceland 🇮🇸 - 2009 - Yohanna - Is It True? - 44.3%

42. Ukraine 🇺🇦 - 2008 - Ani Lorak - Shady Lady - 45.6%

41. Belgium 🇧🇪 - 2015 - Loïc Nottet - Rhythm Inside - 46.3%

40. Turkey 🇹🇷 - 2004 - Athena - For Real - 46.4%

39. Sweden 🇸🇪 - 2022 - Cornelia Jakobs - Hold Me Closer - 46.7%

38. Ukraine 🇺🇦 - 2013 - Zlata Ognevich - Gravity - 46.9%

37. Switzerland 🇨🇭 - 2021 - Gjon's Tears - Tout l'univers - 47.3%

36. Ukraine 🇺🇦 - 2007 - Verka Serduchka - Dancing Lasha Tumbai - 47.7%

35. Azerbaijan 🇦🇿 - 2011 - Ell and Nikki - Running Scared - 48.4%

34. Spain 🇪🇸 - 2022 - Chanel - SloMo - 49%

33. Italy 🇮🇹 - 2019 - Mahmood - Soldi - 49.1%

32. United Kingdom 🇬🇧 - 2022 - Sam Ryder - Space Man - 49.7%

31. Russia 🇷🇺 - 2016 Sergey Lazarev - You Are the Only One - 49.8%

30. Sweden 🇸🇪 - 2014 - Sanna Nielsen - Undo 50.4%

29. Greece 🇬🇷 - 2005 - Helena Paparizou - My Number One - 50.4%

28. Azerbaijan 🇦🇿 - 2013 - Farid Mammadov - Hold Me - 51.3%

27. Bosnia and Herzegovina 🇧🇦 - 2006 - Hari Mata Hari - Lejla - 51.5%

26. Netherlands 🇳🇱 - 2019 - Duncan Lawrence - Arcade - 51.8%

25. Australia 🇦🇺 - 2016 - Dami Im - Sound of Silence - 51.9%

24. Israel 🇮🇱 - 2018 - Netta - Toy - 52.4%

23. Russia 🇷🇺 - 2012 - Buranovskiye Babushki - Party for Everybody - 52.6%

22. Germany 🇩🇪 - 2010 - Lena - Satellite - 53.9%

21. Russia 🇷🇺 - 2008 - Dima Bilan - Believe - 53.9%

20. Ukraine 🇺🇦 - 2016 - Jamala - 1944 - 54.2%

19. Serbia 🇷🇸 - 2007 - Marija Serifovic - Molitva - 54.4%

18. France 🇫🇷 - 2021 - Barbara Pravi - Voilà - 54.7%

17. Netherlands 🇳🇱 - 2014 - The Common Linnets - Calm After the Storm - 55%

Honourable Mention. Turkey 🇹🇷 - 2003 - Sertab Erener - Everyway That I Can - 55.6%

16. Russia 🇷🇺 - 2006 - Dima Bilan - Never Let You Go - 55.8%

15. Italy 🇮🇹 - 2021 - Måneskin - Zitti e Buoni - 57.4%

14. Greece 🇬🇷 - 2004 - Sakis Rouvas - Shake It - 60%

13. Denmark 🇩🇰 - 2013 - Emmelie de Forest - Only Teardrops - 61.6%

12. Italy 🇮🇹 - 2015 - Il Volo - Grande amore - 62.3%

11. Bulgaria 🇧🇬 - 2017 - Kristian Kostov - Beautiful Mess - 62.5%

10. Serbia and Montenegro 🇷🇸 - 2004 - Zeljko Joksimovic and Ad-Hoc Orchestra - Lane Moje - 62.6%

9. Russia 🇷🇺 - 2015 - Polina Gagarina - A Million Voices - 64.7%

8. Finland 🇫🇮 - 2006 - Lordi - Hard Rock Hallelujah - 65.7%

7. Ukraine 🇺🇦 - 2004 - Ruslana - Wild Dances - 66.6%

6. Austria 🇦🇹 - 2014 - Conchita Wurst - Rise Like a Phoenix - 67.1%

5. Ukraine 🇺🇦 - 2022 - Kalush Orchestra - Stefania - 67.4%

4. Sweden 🇸🇪 - 2012 - Loreen - Euphoria - 75.6%

3. Portugal 🇵🇹 - 2017 - Salvador Sobral - Amar pelos dois - 77%

2. Sweden 🇸🇪 - 2015 - Måns Zelmerlöw - Heroes - 77.9%

1. Norway 🇳🇴 - 2009 - Alexander Rybak - Fairytale - 78.6%

And there it is! The 100 most successful Eurovision entries from 2004 to 2022?

Did your all time fave make the cut?

[betweenthetimeandsound]

My ESC 250 (#190-181), featuring three of the most powerful vocalists in the Balkans, the Spanish Evita, and Bulgaria's only qualifier for almost a decade.

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2010: 35 - 31

35. KEiiNO - “Spirit in the sky” Norway 2019

During the preshow I posited that "Spearwhil”  would be the Rasmussen but as it turned out-

I HEAR YOU CALLING ME AT NIGHT

No, Tom NOT NOW!!! I’m in the middle of my sentence. 🙄 Wait your turn Anyway, it turned out that ‘the Rasmussen’ really ought to be called ‘the KEiiNO’. Observe this Michal-esque rise up the scoreboard:

OutSzpak’ing Spzak. 😍 Let’s be honest though, it was-

I HEAR YOU CALLING ME AT NI-

- COMPLETELY DESERVED TOO.  Fred was especially great, who delivered EPIC yoik solo that I am sure won KEiiNO the televote on the spot. 😍

This particularly pleases me because I was worried Tom & Alexandra (who are both very good performers) would take the spotlight away from Fred, but no did the weakest link pre-show turned not only turn out to be the strongest one, but he was arguable the single strongest performer of finale night. SO PROUD OF THEM ANGELS. 😍 Let us all sing along

*cough* I said, “let us all sing along”

... 

(k Tom, now is ur cue)

I HEAR YOU CALLING ME AT NIIIIIGHT

THE NORTHERN LIGHTS ARE DANCING

HÅ LA HEI LOI LÅ

A lot of the criticism from KEiiNO comes from your typical value-seekers who can only enjoy themselves in public if their shallow trash comes coated in a thick layer of novelty gimmicks and Deep Meaning, so they don’t have to admit to others and themselves than they tune in to have fun, like everyone else. There’s nothing wrong with novelty gimmicks & the like, but applying that standard to everything is taking it a tad too far. Sometimes, simplicity is key and that’s exactly what KEiiNO were: unpretentious, highly-addictive EDM adorned with epic yoiking. 😍 

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34. Gianluca - “Tomorrow” Malta 2013

"Tomorrow” is, to use Gianluca’s own words, a curious delight: I always, always, always forget about it. Then I rewatch 2013 as I do at least once per year, and each time it’s like a Céline Dion song IT’S ALL COMING BACK TO ME and I’m in love again. 😍 “Tomorrow” is such a clever twist of the typical love song by telling the story from the THIRD PERSON PERSPECTIVE by an all-knowing narrator. It’s world’s merriest audiobook. 😍

Naturally, this works because Gianluca has TONS of charisma. He’s one of the most magnetic humans ever on a Eurovision Stage? 

It’s hard to believe that he ages like the rest of us, I’d assume he was birthed fully formed and clothed, at age thirteen, in whatever rests at the end of a Neverlandian rainbow. 

“Tomorrow” could’ve so easily been one of those “Annoyingly Positive songs”, but because he’s so relentlessly jolly, Gianluca injects “Tomorrow” with limitless happy energy, enough to melt the polar icecaps. I am happy that I don’t revisit Gianluca between watches, as I do with others, because each time I rediscover him it’s like finding a four-leaf-clover. 🍀

________________________________________________________________

33. Elitsa Todorova & Stoyan Yankoulov - “Samo shampioni” Bulgaria 2013

IMA LI MLADI? IMA LI LYUDI? TSYALO SELO DOIDE PEITE NE SE BOITE

Let us continue with one of the most glorious trainwrecks EVER in Eurovision. 😍 Of course, this being the GOD-tier the severity of wreckage (aka the Sennek Factor) is even higher than normal. In the case of “Samo shampioni” the messiness began DURING THE PRESELECTIONS. 😍 Okay you may not remember or know this backstory, so allow me to enlighten you:

Okay, so *initially* BNT selected Elitsa & Stoyan and for some reason decided to hold an NF: They introduced: first a terrible rapbomination, second a boring ethnoballad (think Iriao + percussion) and then pulled out an experimental fusion of ethnic bagpipes, polyphonic singing and dubstep, which Elitsa openly pointed as her favourite. 😍 Obviously, the audience had to choose for the latter? NOPE The audience chose the iriao-esque ballad 😍 and in one of the most hilariously open displays of riggage, LESS THAN A DAY AFTER THE NF (and after Elitsa allegedly threw a huge backstage temper tantrum threatening to withdraw LMFAO), BNT produced a statement that was all like “well. we can’t send “Kismet”. 🤓 You see... it has come under our attention that... the songwriter from Argentina (lmao) can’t agree to the copyright terms we demanded of him 🤓but that’s fine because it means we can send “SAMO SHAMPIONI” instead 😊‘ <3333333333333333333333456789 who the fuck is Christer Björkman, fucking NOBODY that’s who. And of course, once “Samo Shampioni” finally got to Malmö it was an utter disaster. 😍 I say "disaster” in the best meaning of the word though. I LOVE when countries showcase their musical traditions, but Elitsa and Stoyan do it so aggressively, BLASTING the unassuming viewer with loud af bagpipe noises, following it up with a menuet of polyphony, a clarion of “AAAAAAAAAAAA-YUUUU” and a finale of dubstep and mayumaniacal percussion. “Samo Sampioni” was loud, abrasive, a clamour of ethnic noise but by the same token such a catchy, infectuous, delightful fucking BOP. No surprise it got jurypwned but it was well worth the effort. 😍

________________________________________________________________

32. Nadav Guedj - “Golden boy” Israel 2015

Welcome to the Dicedrome, ladies and gentlemen: Introducing the man who put Israel back on the map after four straight NQs. But Nadav is more than just a Hebrew Tom Dice. 

For starters, “Golden boy” is also the first time we were ever subjected to Doron Medalie (and also Imri Ziv but lol Imri), who is at his BEST here (apart from that moment when he brusquely shoved Cesár out of the way as if he were Krisse Salminen lmfao 😍): “Golden boy” has everything I could want in an uptempo party song: Drama, catchy rhythm, limitless fun, chanting, dancing and an absolutely ridiculous premise: sixteen year old boy gets wasted after fruitlessly flirting with all sorts of femfolk on his first night out. Yes, THIS

is sixteen years old. 😍 But what I mostly love about “Golden boy” is the humour. Intentional humour is really hard to get right and “Golden boy” NAILS it for me. From self-deprecating one-liners, to that choreography to b-roll material like the sound effect of beer being pourn as Nadav gets further into the song, to of course the epic finale of “THREE MINUTES! BYE :selfie”. 😍

A wild ride which, as serendipity demands, is topped off by Nadav kicking off a strong Israeli streak that indeed ENDS up with Israel winning the contest (with a worse Doron composition :-/) and him showing us around in Tel Aviv. Funny how life works sometimes, huh? 

OKAY GOTTA GO  THREE PARAGRAPHS BYEBYE

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31. Jessy Matador - “Allez ola olé” France 2010

Did you know “Matador” is Eurospeak for “SLAYER”?  😉

Speaking of EPIC party songs, I was looking “Allez Ola Olé” up for my usual ranking purposes and this song.. is one of the most successful Eurovision songs EVER? I am not surprised, because “Allez olla olé” OWNS, but at the same time random 12th placers becoming massive off-season hits <3

(yes I am aware it’s because it was the French “Waka Waka” but that’s even more hilar, actually. What on earth is it doing in Eurovision <3)

Anyway, “Allez ola olé” definitely DESERVES all praise it can get. ETERNAL THORN IN THE SIDE OF THE EUROVISION ELITISTS <3 it is of course the anti-Proud, being all rhythm and no story, literally having no purpose other than making people dance (which I LOVE doing to “Allez Ola Olé”... within the confines of my bedroom, with the curtains closed because I have the dancing skills of drunk JarJar Binks) and honestly, what a spectacle. 😍

It features, in order of ascending awesomeness, male twerking (gender equality <3)

witty references to sex (which I don’t mind here because it’s clearly consentual, and therefore, healthy, ICKOLAS)

“Je sens le truc monter/..😏 ALLEEEEZ 😱”. 

DAM BA DAM BA DAM BA DAM DAM

A fucking HAKA????? (btw, the female backing doing a salute is also lowkey great <3)

Actually, TWO HAKA’S????

This song may not have relevant meaning but my weave flew all the way to French Polynesia. “Allez, ola, olé” is nothing less than fucking AWESOME. 

In this update, we pay our final respects to Norway, Malta and France: Read more about them below:

NORWAY

I don’t feel like this chart reflects my true feelings on Norway, because I like them a LOT more than what their average implies. They’re largely just dragged down by a few bad entries in the first half of the decade. Norway in the second half of this decade has shown a lot of promise and they are on my list of countries that I expect to win in the upcoming decade. 

MALTA

Malta are a very average Eurovision country imo. As you can see, they very often select songs that are not worth giving a fuck about, but conversely the few times that they do, they’re usually excellent happy-go-lucky gems. I could see them winning if they find that rare 1-in-50 entry (by one of their jesc winners preferably), but only if they keep internally selecting their entrant because lmao MES(s)C <3

FRANCE

This is a really good chart for France and roughly what I expected. Not my favourite country but solidly upper tier. France really have reinvented themselves post 2016 and are reaping the rewards with generally higher results. I hope it gets topped off with another win soon. They deserve it. 

[eurovisionopinions]

[unibrowzz]

Top 3 Bulgaria

Bones

Bones

[mildmagician]

Bulgaria 🇧🇬

Fantastiiiic! A lot of fire with the Intelligent Music Project and their song ‘Intention’!🔥🔊

This Progressive Rock song is a fresh choice coming from the BNT, as Bulgaria tended to send more commercial songs in the past years. Though it is interesting to know, that one of the Intelligent Music Project’s band members might be familiar to some, as Stoyan Yankoulov had participated in the contest before in a duet with Elitsa Todorova performing their Eurodance Pop songs with elements of Folk back in the 2007 and 2013.

As mentioned by the band’s frontman Ronnie Romero – there will be a lot of fire! And by that we mean – A LOT! The band’s smart way of using the spherical style of the stage background to stand out from other contestants was a great decision as the semi-circular construction made from speakers looks very dramatic and attracts a lot of attention.

Късмет!🍀

[everyeurovisionsong]

Bulgaria 2013

'Samo Shampioni' (Only Champions), performed by Elitsa & Stoyan. Composition: Elitsa Todorova, Kristian Talev. Lyrics: Elitsa Todorova, Kristian Talev.

As Malmö 2013 dawned, Bulgaria had made only one appearance on Saturday night since debuting at Eurovision in 2005. So the smart thing to do was to call back the singers of 'Water' in the form of Elitsa and Stoyan.

Unfortunately Elitsa and Stoyan decide to carry the 'same again please' attitude. They managed to navigate 'Samo Shampioni' through the 3-song national selection... complete with all its echoes of 'Water'. Mixing in a ridiculous number of drums, and the occasional skril of bagpipes, it feels more like a greatest hits medley from the duo rather than a new track.

'Samo Shampioni' lacks the coherence that 'Water' had. The various elements work against each other and it's a curious feeling to describe.. .the song doesn't feel comfortable to me, and I suspect that the jurors and televoters agreed.

Following the non-qualification, Bulgaria would withdraw from Eurovision until it decided to call up another former champion.

Semi Final - Points: 45. Placing: 12th. Grand Final - Did not qualify.

[imperiumtenebrarum]

My Eurovision Top 30 - No. 20

Elitsa Todorova & Stoyan Yankoulov - Water - Bulgaria - 2007 - 5th place

Lo, lo, she sings Lo, Mitra sings by the river...

This is a bit of a “marmite song”... what some consider a unique blend of Slavic folk and modern electronica, sounds like a goat being tortured to others. I’m a big fan of “Water”, and not just because it’s one of the most unique and daring entries of the modern era, but also because – in contrast to many other ESC songs – it really comes alive on stage. Elitsa and Stoyan (who’ve been making music as a duo since 2003) are charismatic and engaging performers, and it’s obvious that they’re truly enjoying themselves. I love the mysterious vibe of the first few seconds, and the sheer energy of their drum performance! Elitsa and Stoyan eventually returned to Eurovision in 2013, but sadly failed to qualify for the final with their song “Samo Championi”.

[maschasrankings]

2013

Norway Margaret Berger I Feed You My Love

Italy Marco Mengoni L'Essenziale

Ukraine Zlata Ognevich Gravity

Netherlands Anouk Birds

Moldova Aliona Moon O Mie

Iceland Eythor Ingi Ég Á Líf

Greece Koza Mostra & Agathon Iakovidis Alcohol Is Free

Israel Moran Mazor Rak Bishvilo

San Marino Valentina Monetta Crisalide (Vola)

France Amandina Bourgeois L'Enfer Et Moi

Serbia Moje 3 Ljubav Je Svuda

Montenegro Who See & Nina Žižić Igranka

Bulgaria Elitsa Todorova & Stoyan Yankoulov Samo Shampioni

Belarus Alyona Lanskaya Solayoh

Spain ESDM Contigo Hasta El Final

Denmark Emmelie de Forest Only Teardrops

Austria Natália Kelly Shine

Finland Krista Siegfrids Marry Me

Greece Despina Olympiou An Mi Thimasai

Slovenia Hannah Straight Into Love

Germany Cascada Glorious

Estonia Birgit Et Uus Saaks Alguse

Albania Adrian Lulgjuraj & Bledar Sejko Identitet

Armenia Dorians Lonely Planet

Azerbaijan Farid Mammadov Hold Me

Hungary ByeAlex Kedvesem

Georgia Nodi Tatishvili & Sophie Gelovani Waterfall

Switzerland Takasa You & Me

United Kingdom Bonnie Tyler Believe In Me

Romania Cezar It's My Life

Ireland Ryan Dolan Only Love Survives

Russia Dina Garipova What If

Sweden Robin Stjernberg You

Belgium Roberto Bellarosa Love Kills

Latvia PeR Here We Go

Lithuania Andrius Pojavis Something

North Macedonia Esma & Lozano Pre Da Se Razdeni

Croatia Klapa S Mora Mižerja

Malta Gianluca Tomorrow

[jotunvali02]

TRIBAL TRANCE - Elitsa Todorova & Stoyan Yankoulov - Water

[betweenthetimeandsound]

Three Minutes to Eternity: My ESC 250 (#190-181)

#190: Kaliopi -- Crno i Belo (North Macedonia 2012)

“Отвори душа признај ми, Што сме сега јас и ти, Пола мое во тебе, А пола твое спие во мене,”

“Open your soul and admit to me, What we are now, you and me Half of me is in you And half of you is sleeping in me”

Kaliopi was supposed to be (North) Macedonia's first entrant in the 1996 with the song Samo Ti, but an audio-only pre-qualifying round ended up preventing her from doing so. Whereas Samo ti is a calming, R&B influenced song, Crno i belo is an alternative rock song which takes a number of twists.

Crno I Belo starts slowly, but it really picks up from the second verse onwards as it transforms into a rock song. There’s a sense of confrontation with the lyrics, which the music also tries to convey. And I don’t need to say much about Kaliopi’s vocals—a bit harsh, but awesome. And that scream is nothing but penetrating.

Personal ranking: 4th/42 Actual ranking: 13th/26 GF in Baku

#189: Måns Zelmerlöw - Heroes (Sweden 2015)

"Now go sing it like a hummingbird The greatest anthem ever heard"

I know there was a bit of flack of Sweden's most recent win, because they won primarily because of the jury (they were third in the televote). Compared to "Grand Amore", which comfortably won the televote but only gotten sixth with the juries, which was a pretty bad mismatch.

In addition, compared to the other fan-favorites of the class of 2015, Heroes is a more mainstream-sounding pop song, with influences from "Lovers from the Sun" and the highly produced Swedish-pop scene. But when I listen to it, it's very engaging and surprisingly danceable, with a great message of strength and togetherness. And the staging was quite slick and creative (with a bunch of influence on some of those from the following year)

So while Heroes is not my personal favorite of 2015, it's still a compelling and awesome pop song. Six years later, it's holds up fantastically.

Personal ranking: 7th/40 Actual ranking: 1st/27 GF in Vienna

#188: Elitsa Todorova & Stoyan Yankoulov -- Water (Bulgaria 2007)

"Море, Митра пее на реката Митре ле, ий… Митре ле"

"Lo, Mitra sings by the river Oh Mitra, eeh.. oh Mitra"

I have the strange impression that Bulgaria has a trance music scene we don't know of. From Elitsa and Stoyan's two appearances to the lyrics of Stanga being taken from a Bulgarian folk song, it's something that was not in focus in the rest of the world.

That said, Bulgaria's only qualifying song prior to 2016 is an experience to behold. While the lyrics are simply about Mitra meeting a lad riding a horse, the soundscape feels like you're in the surreal place yourself. You are in a rush against time, but you're also on a journey towards...somewhere.

Both the music and drumming really amplify the experience; seeing Elitsa and Stoyan drum together was a highlight for me. And while there are questions about Elitsa's vocals, including a point where she goes off-key, she still provides the necessary tone for this intriguing song.

Personal ranking: 4th/42 Actual ranking: 5th/24 GF in Helsinki

#187: Tose Proeski -- Life (North Macedonia 2004)

“Life is a book and you gotta read it Life is a story and you gotta tell it Life is a song and you gotta sing it You've got to know how to live it.”

For some curious reason, I prefer the English-version of this song to the Macedonian language one. Whereas this one, performed from Eurovision, focuses on the angst of existence and the importance of making the most of it, "Angel si ti" is an ode towards a lover who lines his streets with roses and even turns back time.

That's one of the things which work here that really shouldn’t. The mid-2000s sound, the lyrics, and the sheer angst of it. But for some reason, I really enjoy it. Tose (RIP) sings this really well, and it feels like a song out of a musical, in a scene where the protagonist cannot decide what they want to do with their life. It's awesome and I love this lots (and please, put this in a hypothetical Eurovision jukebox musical--there's so much plot potential!)

Personal ranking: 6th/36 Actual ranking: 14th/24 GF in Istanbul

#186: Lisa Andreas -- Stronger Every Minute (Cyprus 2004)

“My love grows stronger every minute And it won’t ever die You must believe I’ll always be there For you, all my life”

Greece and Cyprus are basically sisters in the contest--you can almost always expect them to give votes to each other considering the circumstances. However, their combined quality frequently varies, as well as results. 2004 was their best results year, though not necessarily their best in terms of songs (you'll get that later, towards the end)

At fifth place, Stronger Every Minute shared the best Cypriot entry ever with two other entries (one of which is #239, another coming soon) until 2018. This time, it comes in the form of a delicate love song, performed so tenderly and serenely by Lisa. Despite her looks making her look older than sixteen, she conveys a sense of innocence, helped by the glockenspiel and the acoustic guitar throughout.

I love how sincere she sings this “love letter”, as one blogger put it--I hope everyone can feel a love like this! A pure oasis in the flash and chaos of the 100% televote era.

Personal ranking: 5th/36 Actual ranking: =5th/24 GF (with Sweden) in Istanbul

#185: Paloma San Basilio -- La fiesta terminó (Spain 1985)

“La fiesta terminó Ya no hay más que niebla entre tú y yo ¿Para qué echar más leña arder Si el fuego se ha apagado ya?”

“The party’s over There’s only a fog between you and me Why throwing more wood to burn When the fire is already dull?"

Juan Carlos Calderon and Paloma San Basilio are really well known in their fields --the former is a noted songwriter who already wrote one of the biggest hits in Latin America, whereas the latter is a noted singer and theater actress who would win a Latin Grammy and play Evita.

Together, they have this really nice power ballad, albeit one with a bit of melancholy in it. The lyrics are the strong part of this piece, telling of a relationship that has come to an end using the party as a metaphor for it. It works very well, especially with Paloma's warm voice and the way she emotes the song through her hand gestures.

The resulting package is quite sad, yet very, very beautiful. Unfortunately, it didn't get the result it deserved (which maybe because of that backing vocalist picking at his nose...).

Personal ranking: 2nd/19 Actual ranking: 14th/19 in Gothenburg

#184: Sakis Rouvas -- Shake It (Greece 2004)

“I would trade my life for a night with you Driven by desire”

(Yes, this is already the third song from 2004 to appear in this section. haha. The first two that appeared here are fighting for my fifth, whereas the top four here is the exact same top four of that year.)

The first of the Greek Golden Era, we get Sakis Rouvas in all his glory. This was a hit when it was first released, and it at one point was the highest selling single of all-time in Greece. And as of 2021, it's still the highest-scoring Greek entry, despite them winning the following year.

While his regular discography doesn’t usually feature Greek elements, as he's better known for popularizing pop and rock influences in Greek music, I still think the bouzouki riffs do a good job here adding to this bop (the composer is Nikos Terzis--remember this name).

It's a dancefloor banger which I keep on repeat, and it seems that people across the continent have done so too! Especially those from Turkey. The performance is also quite fun, albeit with some...curious choreography (e.g. 1:42-1:46). That said, we also get some of Sakis' athleticism, thanks to him doing track when he was younger.

Personal ranking: 4th/36 Actual ranking: 3rd/24 GF in Istanbul

#183: Claude Lombard -- Quand tu Reviendras (Belgium 1968)

"Passent les semaines, se traînent les jours Et moi, j’attends ton retour En filant la laine dans mes beaux atours En bordant ma peine de doux fils d’amour"

"Weeks passing by, the days are lingering And I’m waiting for your return Spinning the wool in my beautiful finery Embroidering my pain in soft threads of love"

A couple of commenters compared to a Kate Bush song, and I think it comes down to Claude’s voice, which is very ethereal. However, Claude's voice has some depth, which, in comparison to Kate Bush's earlier work, is a bit more mature.

As for the song, it’s very folkloric but tragic, in which she yearns for the day her lover comes back. The use of strings helps in that it establishes a medieval ambience to it, but the overall feeling is still timeless. It’s almost as if one is caught into the story and wept along with her.

I especially love this because it stood out amongst the class of 1968--while most of the other songs has a happy-go-lucky vibe, Quand tu Reviendras goes in the opposite direction. Same with my runner-up.

Personal ranking: 1st/17 Actual ranking: =7th/17 (with Monaco and Yugoslavia) in London

#182: Doris Dragović - Marija Magdalena (Croatia 1999)

Maria Magdalena, gib mir deine Macht Für immer und nicht nur für eine Nacht

“Svjedok mi Bog, srca mi mog, Ova žena zna, da ti pripada sva...”

“As God is my witness, I swear by my heart, That this woman knows, she belongs to you entirely...”

(The first few lyrics were from the first Maria Magdalena from Austria, haha. Just wanted to mess with you. :) )

The second Marija Magdalena is a beloved entry in the fandom, and for good reason! It hasn’t aged since 1999, which shone amongst the relatively dull field with its mix of ethnic and dance music. Lyrically, it focuses on a love that redeems the narrator, hence the imagery related to Marija Magdalena (yay, religious imagery and redemption!). I think it works efficiently, and Doris performs well on stage with her powerful vocals and diva-like presence. Arguably, it's argued that it was the best song of 1999.

The only problem I have is with the backing vocals on the instrumental. The delegation cheated, and that’s the end of it. I’m still wondering why people would put this as their favorite of 1999 otherwise; even with the new rule about allowing them on the track. It puts me on edge on what would've happened had they won.

Beautiful song, but cheaters don't prosper in my book.

Personal ranking: 3rd/23 Actual ranking: 4th/23 in Jerusalem

#181: Evelin Samuel & Camille - Diamond of Night (Estonia 1999)

“Diamond of night, burning so bright Guide me my silvery new sign”

The last Eurovision song of the twentieth century is filled with mystical imagery, atmospheric instrumentation, and a beautiful violin solo. The whole thing reminds me of a fairytale, with a cool soundscape, though sometimes I feel like something is lacking in it (especially because it resembles some entries from the 1996 contest; I was thinking of I evighet when writing this)

The lyrics are especially pertinent for Evelin Samuel (the singer), who tried to get to Eurovision throughout the entire 1990s. She was about to go as one half of the Estonian duo from 1996, when she suddenly got a tour in Japan, which was then canceled. She managed to become a backing vocalist in 1997, and finally got her chance here. Seeing her sing "now i can say it's my time" is very touching, even if her eyes seem to be bulging out!

In the end, it's a peaceful and serene song, with hope for the new millenium. However, considering what the first song of Eurovision 2000 would be, little did one know it won't always start on the right foot...

Personal ranking: 2nd/23 Actual ranking: 6th/23 in Jerusalem

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision (#29)

29. BULGARIA Intelligent Music Project - “Intention” 38th place

Decade Rank: 58/79 [Above Blas, below Uku]

To whoever ran BNT’s twitter account this season: feigning unselfawareness about your home entry’s shittness for the sake of fan service is SO unfunny and embarrassing I’m surprised Subwoolfer haven’t tried it yet (and Subwoolfer have recently said they want to delete Amber Heard from life!). Bring me some other shtick once you’ve found another sponsor.

Anyway, this year’s Bulgarian sponsor was a self-made filthy rich ~BizNizMen~ who writes dated 80s dad rock in his spare time. He’s also the owner of a pet band whose sole purpose is to perform his insipid compositions at fundraiser gigs (usually held at Bulgarian embassies in other countries lol). If you think that would lead to a pontificating and  shitty “Identitët” (Shitentitët? 🤔) as the entry DING DING DING you are correct!

As one should expect from a band that dubs itself as “intelligent”, in comes the pseudo-intellectual lecture about taking matters in your own hands, building up a capitalist empire and getting filthy rich instead of loafing around playing video games all day. You’re not my father, stfu!!!.” If Only GenZ Had The ~Intention~ Do Something Great With Their Life”. If only you hadn’t been another person over forty person who doesn’t understand that Life Advice ranks next to dick pics on the list of things you don’t want to receive unsollicitedly from complete strangers, 😔

(lol IMP attempted some “it’s truly a peace song, We Swear” retconning in Turin, but you know how i feel about that opportunistic BULLSHIT.)

Of course, upon its release -in early December 2021- nobody gave a single fuck about “Intention” and it was promptly ranked last on all the lists forevermore. 🤗 Inconceivable that everyone had negative cares about soulless rock muppets that that preached capitalism via a fucking dr. Seuss-like chorus, who completely wasted Stoyan Yankoulov like he’s Darude repping Finland. INCONCEIVABLE!

However, for an entry this limp, it had... fairly decent staging? Look, I’m splitting hairs here, right? The song’s a damp squib, Ronnie loafs around looking like greasy and unkempt serial rapist, and the rest might as well be provincial stage actors (you’re not telling me that “bass player” has EVER held a guitar before Turin), BUT the stage show actually put in that investor money for good camera shots, pyros, your standard eurovision rock stuff! Even a little bit managed to elevate a literal deaf fish of a song into something semi-unobjectionable! Now imagine what could have happened if a song with any actual merit had received the same treatment.

It’s barely enough to put “Intention” ahead of like... idk Greece or Montenegro, or the other vaguely irritating bores the sheeple were hyping up. Slightly exceeding expectations where there are none gets you further in life, and with “further” I mean 29th on this ranking instead of like 32nd. CONGRATZ!!! i guess.

THE RANKING

29. BULGARIA - Intelligent Music Project - “Intention” 30. GREECE - Amanda Tenjford - “Die together” 31. POLAND - Ochman - “River” 32. MONTENEGRO - Vladana - “Breathe” 33. FINLAND - The Rasmus - "Jezebel" 34. BELGIUM - Jérémie Makiese - “Miss you” 35. NORWAY - Subwoolfer - “Give that wolf a banana” 36. AUSTRALIA - Sheldon Riley - “Not the same” 37. SWITZERLAND - Marius Bear - “Boys do cry” 38. AZERBAIJAN - Nadir Rustamli - “Fade to black” 39. ITALY - Mahmood & Blanco - “Brividi” 40. ISRAEL - Michael Ben David - “I.M”

[whenitsdarkweilluminate]

Helsinki 2007 - Semi-Final

Host: Finland Slogan: “True Fantasy” Participants: 42 Voting method: 12-point system (40 televotes / 2 juries) Format: 1 Semi-Final / Grand Final = the top 10 of the semi + the top 10 of '06 + the Big 4 General Overview: The 2007 contest follows the same semi-final format as the previous three years. However, this one contains 28(!) entries. That is longer than any Grand Final in Eurovision history. And it definitely feels bloated. It doesn't help that there are multiple filler segments during the running order. Or that the quality is underwhelming this year. The EBU made the right decision to split the semi-final entrants into two rounds starting in 2008. With 28 countries vying for just 10 available slots at the Grand Final, it seems lopsided. 2007 sees Czechia and Georgia debut, as well as Serbia and Montenegro as separate countries. Austria and Hungary also return, bringing the total participants to a new record of 42. Monaco, meanwhile, withdrew indefinitely (and still haven't returned). The EBU also instated a new wild card rule for 2007, which allowed five countries to choose their running order slots in the semi-final (they were Austria, Andorra, Latvia, Turkey and Slovenia). And for three countries to choose their slots at the Grand Final (Armenia, Ukraine, Germany). Seems like a pointless twist if you ask me. The semi-final opens with an ice ballet, featuring a colourful background and showy costumes. The interval is a mix of disparate traditional and modern Finnish styles. The main highlight is the guitarist, who is a bit crazy. The presenters are Jaana Pelkonen and Mikko Leppilampi. The later is so extra at times. It is always fashionable to copy the previous year's winner, and 2007 is the best example of that. Many countries opted to submit rock bands of their own, although none of them qualified. There's also plenty of pyrotechnics and atmospheric tracks this year. Interestingly, all ten qualifiers were Eastern European countries. In fact the entire top 16 on finale night will be from the East (assuming Greece counts as “Eastern Europe”). There are no gongs or sandtimers to kick off the voting this year, but the hosts do encourage the audience to count down in Finnish. The official results are transported via skaters though, who amusingly cut the scrutineer off mid-sentence. Once again, there is a montage of the 14 auto-qualifiers before the results are revealed. And once again, the envelopes are opened in random order to determine the running orders of the qualifiers at the Grand Final.

✓ Bulgaria: Elitsa Todorova & Stoyan Yankoulov - Water This is Bulgaria's only qualification out of their first 9 appearances (their next qualification isn't until Poli Genova in 2016!) In fact, it reached 5th place at the Grand Final. “Water” is noticeably eccentric and unconventional in structure. The flow isn't very melodic. The song is comprised of vigorous drumming, a stationary but euphoric trance beat, and off-key “tribal” chanting from Elitsa. She emphasizes peculiar phonetic sounds. But her voice is not that appealing to me. And the song just stays in one spot and doesn't go anywhere. Still, “Water” establishes a striking atmosphere, and the drumming is a highlight.  × Israel: Teapacks - Push the Button Just... no. “Push the Button” falls into the eye-roll inducing side of weird Eurovision entries. The song expresses a political message about living in terror. The lyrics are blatant and the tone is bleak and disgusted. But the presentation is too goofy to match. The band exhibits so much drunk energy on stage. They also seem condescending. And the song suddenly switches genres several times. The verses are accordion-lead, the chorus channels in-your-face punk rock, and the bridge contains dubstep and rap. I'm confused as to what this entry is going for. × Cyprus: Evridiki - Comme ci, comme ça Evridiki makes her fourth appearance at Eurovision. This time she sings in French! The audience even chants her name during the postcard. So it's surprising that it didn't qualify, although the poor running order might be an explanation. It's the biggest DNQ “robbery” of 2007 for me anyway. The instrumentation is incredible on this. “Comme ci, comme ça” encompasses a synth-pop production that is ahead of its time (the breakdown is reminiscent of pop songs circa 2011). This main synth is accompanied by retro video game boops and a hint of electric guitar. Meanwhile, Evridiki delivers a killer chorus and displays intense stage energy, emphasizing the lyrical theme of being fed up of the stagnancy of her relationship. And visually, the blue colours and the smoke blast at the end are effective.  ✓ Belarus: Dmitry Koldun - Work Your Magic “Work Your Magic” finished in 6th place at the Grand Final, which is Belarus's best result as of 2020. The staging is compelling on this one. The aesthetic is just so slick and polished. The backing dancers are dressed in black, like spies or secret agents, while periodically standing “suspended” on these two sliding vertical platforms. And they maintain a serious facial expression. As for the song itself, “Work Your Magic” contains an instrumental that is dramatically tense and foreboding. Which complements the staging and the lyrical theme of the irresistible entrancing allure of Dmitry's love interest. The chorus is catchy too. × Iceland: Eiríkur Hauksson - Valentine Lost The first of many rock bands in the 2007 semi-final. “Valentine Lost” is the best of the bunch though. It's the one I wanted to see qualify (maybe Andorra's as well). Iceland were close though! The overall arrangement is pretty tight, the vocals are pleasant, the chorus melody is strong, and the instrumentation sounds like mid-2000s rock. Although 4 guitarists seems unusual. The song is essentially a list of metaphors. The chorus delivery is noticeably theatrical, which separates it from the other rock entries. And the song exudes that raining down despair vibe.  ✓ Georgia: Sopho Khalvashi - Visionary Dream Georgia's debut entry performs pretty respectably! (12th overall). “Visionary Dream” is a promising track that's let down by the uneven moments. I do love how the production elevates to progressive euphoric heights. And the sword dancing warriors on stage are enjoyable. But the vocal melody is too choppy and the switch to a traditional rhythm in the bridge doesn't flow smoothly enough.   × Montenegro: Stevan Faddy - Ajde, kroči Of all the 2007 rock songs, Montenegro might be likely the most forgettable one. There's multiple moments of the band “rocking out” on the electric guitars and drums. They're enjoying their time on stage. The chorus is kinda catchy. And the song's bridge builds tension well. But the song is just kinda... there. It's the definition of "mid".  × Switzerland: DJ BoBo - Vampires Are Alive Switzerland recruits a noteworthy '90s house DJ for Eurovision: DJ BoBo. He amassed several hits on the European continent during that decade, including “Somebody Dance with Me” and “Everybody”. Both are harmless party songs, but his Eurovision entry is downright embarrassing. “Vampires Are Alive” is like a cheesy Halloween musical. It completely disregards the frightening essence of vampires, beating the Twilight movies to the punch. The chorus is too fluffy, the lyrics are meaningless, and that dance break with the sound effects is beyond cringe. Although the mannequins are a neat loophole to skirt the 6-person rule. The song just sounds like it was made for children; and it plays into the stereotypes that Eurovision is comprised of super campy stuff like this. Same with the UK entry this year. ✓ Moldova: Natalia Barbu - Fight Moldova are known for attention-grabbing entries, and “Fight” is no different. It's quite dramatic, fierce and angsty. The vigorous violin creates intensity, while the guitars and Natalia's vocals supply the attitude. “Fight” involves her assertively maintaining fortitude, and she accomplishes that in her stage performance. Meanwhile, the cloth waving/twirling and the fire colour scheme are neat visuals. This a cool entry but... the melody isn’t quite strong enough to rank any higher. × Netherlands: Edsilia Rombley - On Top of the World Edsilia returns from 1998, where she placed 4th for the Netherlands. Both of her entries offer a feelgood vibe. Although this one is regretful with a hint of insecurity. “On Top” begins as an acoustic guitar-lead R&B ballad that's melodically similar to “Un-break My Heart”. But the tempo and production soon switch, but the main portion of the song is too plain. Indeed, I suspect this wasn't memorable enough to qualify. Still, Edsilia is a strong vocalist and her compassionate tone elevates the song. The chorus is a comforting exclamation of glowing positivity. Staging-wise, Edsilia stands atop of a glass staircase to exemplify the song title. I like the bridge too. × Albania: Frederik Ndoci - Hear My Plea Zzzz. Albania opts for an old fashioned operatic ballad. Frederik wears his heart on his sleeve here, even falling to his knees at one point. The violins and the backing singers boost the pained sorrow. I don't hate “Hear My Plea”, but it is tedious and dreary. It draaaaags on. Especially Frederik's elongated notes.  × Denmark: DQ - Drama Queen DQ is one of the first drag queens to participate in Eurovision. While that distinction is groundbreaking, her song “Drama Queen” is generic, throwaway Euro-pop. The instrumentation is mundane and expressionless. DQ's vocal tone is also lacking the self-empowered angle that the lyrics suggest. Her approach just seems “off”. The staging is average too, with her headdress and the pink feathers being the only thing of note. Otherwise, the “everything's gonna be alright” hook is okay. But this song falls into my bland tier. × Croatia: Dragonfly feat. Dado Topić - Vjerujem u ljubav The Croatian entry is certainly moody, and it has a nice melody at times, but the two vocalists are slightly mismatched and the song isn't catchy enough, meaning it gets lost in the shuffle easily. Still, both of them express reflective longing effectively. The male singer's deep gruff vocals add character without becoming grating. And the relaxed bluesy rock band establishes a pensive vibe. Interestingly, the duet stands socially distanced for most of the performance to compensate for their height difference. The camera angles are strategic as well.  × Poland: The Jet Set - Time to Party This song structure is SOOO sloppy. The chorus kills the momentum of the verses because of how the rhythm completely changes. And there's a guy yelling phrases as if he's Lil Jon, which gets annoying. That said, I actually dig the verses - they contain a saucy flow, accompanied by a pop production that sounds very 2007. There's layers of percussion and dramatic synths. On stage, the ladies are dressed in burlesque outfits, while dancing in an oval cage, and later sprawled on the men's laps. It's such a playful performance. The song feels too manufactured though. And the lyrics aren't great, but I don't expect deepness from party songs anyway. This entry is so messy and bad, but it's kind of a guilty pleasure of mine? ✓ Serbia: Marija Šerifović - Molitva (winner review in the Grand Final post) × Czech Republic: Kabát - Malá dáma Czechia must have the worst start in Eurovision history. Their first three entries all finish in the bottom 2 of their respective semi-finals, and then they withdraw for 5 years. In fact, their 2007 debut finished in dead last with 1 point. Kabát are a rock band featuring the deepest growling vocals imaginable. Almost like a motorcycle engine. It's comically ridiculous. There's also a heavy electric guitar rhythm and a riled-up demeanour from the lead singer. All these elements capture the essence of hard rock. It feels authentic. But there's not a lot going on with this entry. And this vocal style isn't really my thing. The lead singer later confessed that his band weren't a good fit for Eurovision lol.  × Portugal: Sabrina - Dança comigo Portugal fails to qualify for the fourth consecutive year. Although, “Dança comigo” placed 11th in the semi-final. The song is influenced by Latin/Tango music. The lively instrumental carries the song well – it maintains a steady, breezy but energetic pace throughout. The brassy explosions are a definite highlight. There's also smooth dance moves on stage and giant hand fans! While Sabrina invites someone to dance with her (in 4 different languages). “Dança comigo” is a bright and pleasant song. That said, the verses (particularly when the backing vocalists come in) are better than the chorus tbh. ✓ F.Y.R. Macedonia: Karolina - Mojot svet Karolina also represented (North) Macedonia in 2002, with a song I brushed off as forgettable. I like this one better! The unconventional stuttering 7/8 time signature is a big reason why. It sounds refreshing. The rise-and-fall melody of the chorus packs a punch too. The verses, by contrast, are gentler. Vocally, Karolina delivers a gracefully smooth performance, as she explains how music is her saviour in life. The staging, meanwhile, involves some slow, agile dancing. It's a pretty cool entry. Although it's kind of a random qualifier.  × Norway: Guri Schanke - Ven a bailar conmigo Guri was the runner-up on the Norwegian edition of Dancing With The Stars, a franchise that was expanding across Europe at the time. Appropriately, her Eurovision entry sounds like something heard on that show. Thomas G:son wrote it too. The instrumental channels traditional Latin dance music. There's plenty of brassy punches and hand claps to create an “overbearing” production that leaves an impression. The rushing chorus is solid too. Guri, meanwhile, displays a professional demeanour, but I wish she showcased more dance moves. The choreo is basic for the most part, even with costume changes. It's a fun and catchy entry though, albeit a bit soulless.  × Malta: Olivia Lewis - Vertigo After finishing in second place at the 2004/05/06 Maltese national finals, Olivia finally earns her spot in Eurovision! Unfortunately, she gives Malta their first exclusion from the Grand Final since their 1991 return. Oof. “Vetigo” embraces East Asia influences – a style rarely seen in Eurovision. Namely in the outfits and the production. The song involves a constant swooshing gong sound. It adds a unique, albeit distracting, texture. Still, the chorus swells into a climax, becoming the main highlight of the song. Meanwhile, Olivia is battered by the wind machine, while giving an out-of-sync vocal performance. All these elements convey the illusion of dizzily sinking against the current, comparative to the feeling of vertigo. But it ends up sounding messy.   × Andorra: Anonymous - Salvem el món Andorra achieves their best result ever (12th in the semi-final) by submitting a mid-2000s punk rock song akin to American Idiot-era Green Day. The band Anonymous delivers jumpy energy while expressing a social message. Said message being that the world can be fixed if we act less self-interested. Which is a fair point. Musically, the song is manically paced, but the countdowns add necessary pauses to breathe. The vocals aren't the best, but the band brings the energy. The symbols on screen are a smart visual too. ✓ Hungary: Magdi Rúzsa - Unsubstantial Blues “Unsubstantial Blues” is a striking and profound entry. Magdi delivers such a raw performance. Her throaty Janis Joplin-esque vocals convey so much vulnerability and pain. She projects and retreats at the right moments, capturing her roller coaster of emotions after her lover walks out. The lyrics are reflective, mature, and emotionally invested. The staging is simple – Magdi hangs by a bus stop while bearing a suitcase. It illustrates a specific scene relevant to the song. Musically, “Unsubstantial Blues” is of the blues genre – which is something unique for the contest. The backing band is pretty true to the genre. The instrumentation is sparse (like the staging) to let Magdi be the focus, while complementing her emotional journey appropriately. The pacing is perfect. Hungary ultimately placed 2nd in the semi but lost steam at the Grand Final. × Estonia: Gerli Padar - Partners in Crime Estonia selects Tanel Padar's sister for 2007, but her result is less impressive. “Partners in Crime” is an inoffensive but forgettable entry. It's a textbook mid-tier ranking. The chorus is the main highlight, thanks to the rush of guitars and the “clack clack clack” responses. The pop/rock production contains a dark foreboding vibe too. And the arrangement flows well. But, for a song that describes the passion of hooking up, it's quite generic. And there's too much wind machine on Gerli's hair lol. That close-up with the flashing lights is creepy too. × Belgium: The KMG's - Love Power Belgium opts for a Prince tribute that's both corny and dated as hell. “Love Power” is a cheery 1970s disco funk song, featuring some vocal distortions. But the delivery is too juvenile and kitsch. It feels like a children's TV show song. And the lyrics are so cheesy and repetitive. This is just lame. ✓ Slovenia: Alenka Gotar - Cvet z juga Slovenia accomplishes the impossible – they make opera bearable! Well... bearable enough. This still gives me headaches sometimes. “Cvet z juga” is such a haunting, bone-chilling song. The chorus elongates this one tense moment, where the backing singers progressively elevate the atmosphere to new frightening heights. The operatic vocals are so powerful. The lyrical themes of impatience and uncertainty are given new perspective. I also like how the song opens with a dramatic bang. The production, meanwhile, mixes the old fashioned elements with a modern dance beat surprisingly well. The dark blue lighting is an effective aesthetic. And the stationary movement on stage enhances the mood.  ✓ Turkey: Kenan Doğulu - Shake It Up Şekerim 2007 witnesses another strong finish for Turkey. 4th place overall seems excessive, though. Yes, the “Shake It Up Şekerim” refrain is an instant hook that is undeniably catchy, but it is beyond repetitive. It becomes annoying after a while. And Turkey has submitted better “Ethnic pop” entries in the preceding years. This feels unoriginal and generic by comparison, especially the belly dancers and the traditional breakdown. Still, the percussion rhythm is easy to bop along to, and Kenan exudes charm on stage. × Austria: Eric Papilaya - Get a Life – Get Alive Austria delivers a satisfying pop/rock song accompanied by some confusing outfits. The backing dancers are dressed in red feather body suits, while Eric dons shiny silver chain-link armour. There's also a red, ribbon-shaped feather nest in support of AIDS foundation. I'm not sure how the outfits correlate, though. As for the song, Eric advises taking action to seize a better life. The arrangement is seamless and catchy enough, and the lyrics have a good message, but I can see how “Get a Life” was forgotten. Ultimately though, Austria placed 2nd last in the semi and subsequently withdrew for 3 years. The song isn't that bad though? ✓ Latvia: Bonaparti.lv - Questa notte The Latvian entry is similar to the old-fashioned style of Albania's song. “Questa notte” is unabashedly 50 years out of date. The choice of Italian was a smart move. The sextet are vocally talented and their harmonies are potent in the chorus. The verses involve the members entering the stage one at time (akin to Israel 1979), with them rotating solos. And the lyrics are sweet. I respect the performance, but ultimately, this music style just doesn't appeal to me much. I'm of the wrong generation for it.  My Ranking: 01. Hungary: Magdi Rúzsa - Unsubstantial Blues ✓ 02. Serbia: Marija Šerifović - Molitva ✓ 03. Cyprus: Evridiki - Comme ci, comme ça 04. Iceland: Eiríkur Hauksson - Valentine Lost 05. Slovenia: Alenka Gotar - Cvet z juga ✓ 06. Belarus: Dmitry Koldun - Work Your Magic ✓ 07. Moldova: Natalia Barbu - Fight ✓ 08. Georgia: Sopho Khalvashi - Visionary Dream ✓ 09. F.Y.R. Macedonia: Karolina - Mojot svet ✓ 10. Norway: Guri Schanke - Ven a bailar conmigo 11. Austria: Eric Papilaya - Get a Life – Get Alive 12. Portugal: Sabrina - Dança comigo 13. Turkey: Kenan Doğulu - Shake It Up Şekerim ✓ 14. Netherlands: Edsilia Rombley - On Top of the World 15. Andorra: Anonymous - Salvem el món 16. Montenegro: Stevan Faddy - Ajde, kroči 17. Malta: Olivia Lewis - Vertigo 18. Poland: The Jet Set - Time to Party 19. Estonia: Gerli Padar - Partners in Crime 20. Bulgaria: Elitsa Todorova & Stoyan Yankoulov - Water ✓ 21. Croatia: Dragonfly feat. Dado Topić - Vjerujem u ljubav 22. Latvia: Bonaparti.lv - Questa notte ✓ 23. Albania: Frederik Ndoci - Hear My Plea 24. Denmark: DQ - Drama Queen 25. Czech Republic: Kabát - Malá dáma 26. Switzerland: DJ BoBo - Vampires Are Alive 27. Belgium: The KMG's - Love Power 28. Israel: Teapacks - Push the Button

[unibrowzz]

what is your opinion on water

I thought this was a shitpost ask at first until I realised "oh yeah Bulgaria sent a song called Water once"

Okay first thought: Stoyan Yankoulov looks like a pale Toto Cutugno

Second thought: Shum but if Katerina Pavlenko had the most irritating singing voice known to man.

Like I could probably jam to this but God her voice is annoying. And that's all I could think throughout the song, just three minutes of "man this would be so much better if someone else was singing."

Obviously this is the live version I'm judging and it could be better in studio but for now, this is a pass.

[esc-confessions]