#also his jokes are funny
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Regulus and Barty very casually have intellectual conversations at 2 am, in the middle of the night in their dorm, while Evan is snoring loudly in the background
#this can be interpreted as both romantic and platonic#theyre the bestest of friends okay#the only reason reg stoll tolerates barty#is bcus henrespects his intellect#also his jokes are funny#but reg wont admit that#and barty chills with reg#bcus he likes to pick and tear on another persons persona/exterior#bro saw reg and thought “i need to see what his jeart looks like”#i dont mean literally#i mesnt like what he feels#₊˚︶꒷꒦⊹꒷︶꒷˚₊#regulus black#barty crouch jr#barty crouch junior#bartylus#barty and regulus#barty loves regulus#barty x regulus
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Vanny's type in FNAF is so obvious...
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#mike schmidt#tape girl#fnaf vanny#fnaf tonya#fnaf vanessa#glitchtrap#fnaf movie#fnaf help wanted#security breach#fnaf fanart#THIS COMIC IS UNSERIOUS#BUT also yay taps girl again!!! 🩵#A saw a couple folks make the joke Mike and tape girl had similar vibes#and that Vanny has a ‘type’ of sorts#WHICH TBH I think is sorta sweet?#like Vanessa likes people who are far calmer than her#seeing how hectic her own mind gets#having calm vibes around her woukd soothe her.. it’s cute#glitchtrap gotta MIND his own business 😤#tbh Vanessa and Glitchtrap’s dynamic will never not be funny#she hates that dude and for good reason 🩵🩵🩵
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The book of bill website is open and typing in breakup/divorce gets you..
bro...
#gravity falls#the book of bill#thisisnotawebsitedotcom#billford#stanford pines#stanley pines#OH MY GOD!!#also ford makes a joke about leaving bill on read on his paper which is so fucking funny ohh my god#tbob#bill cipher
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Soup solves everything.
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#Senshi#izutsumi#chilchuck tims#laios touden#marcille donato#THE SOUP CHAPTER HAS BEEN ANIMATED#I have so many thoughts about senshi's backstory and how much that experience has shaped who he is.#This is such a powerful moment because it makes it clear how *stuck* senshi has been because of his trauma.#Up until now he has been a mystery! He's the chef guy! Don't worry about his apparent reclusiveness from society!#Don't worry about his intense need to make sure 'the young ones are fed'!#Senshi still has a lot of healing but this was the moment he could finally forgive himself.#This chapter is so important to me because sometimes you truly do need to face the most terrifying things to move past them.#This joke here is a bit too narrow to be funny for the masses...but mdzs fans know.#MDZS :handshake: Dungeon Meshi: Soup moment.#Laios and Jiang Yanli have a powerful magic call "Eat some soup and maybe you'll feel better'#That is also a spell you can cast upon yourself. Go eat some soup and you will feel better. Merry Soupmas everyone.#One more week of Thistle Thursdays....I'm not ready to say goodbye B*(
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kabru and mithrun's fun succubus adventure
#dunmeshi#really cool art i thought up#kabru of utaya#mithrun#dunmeshi spoilers#<- idk. anime watchers dont know who mithrun is or what he does so i think it needs a spoiler warning#labru#<- I GUESS..................#I'M SORRY For adding that stupid fucking figure i think it's really funny and i never want to see it again in my life#i don't think his succubus would show up as that thing i think hes more Complex than that it would just be funny#also mithrun's succubus might actually shapeshift who knows?? Thats not what this comic is about though. just My Funny Joke.
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"I've been waiting for ages for somebody to unmask them."
This moment tends to elicit negative reactions in a first read through, and I've got some opinions about why where Kabru is coming from here actually makes a lot of logical sense. So I thought I'd elaborate on that.
I think people hear this and go, "He thinks they must be hiding something because they gave money to someone? What a cynic." Or "he dislikes them because they did charity?? What's wrong with this guy!". And obviously, a lot, a lot is wrong with him. But I think this makes more sense than it seems at first glance! What people evaluating this judgement miss is why Kabru is paying attention to Laios and co to begin with.
Kabru knows of the Touden siblings because (he's a little bit of a stalker-) he is keeping an eye on all the relevant parties in events developing on the island, in order to be able to guide them to his preferred outcome. This includes adventurers because they are the ones actually exploring the dungeon! He's well aware that something as minor as internal tensions between party members could be key to the historical events that are developing. (He would love the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.)
His desired outcome is that whatever the rewards are of breaking the dungeon's curse, whether that's kingship or the ancient elven secrets of dungeons, are claimed by:
A) a short lived person
B) Someone who will be a good, effective leader and/or use those secrets and the power they carry wisely, with foresight, and to establish a political bloc for short lived people.
The person he can best trust to do this is, of course, himself. But due to his PTSD regarding dungeons and monsters, he's not able to develop the necessary skills to conquer the dungeon. Once he realises this, he starts looking for someone else who he can support to that end.
But most of the adventurers don't have any intentions of conquering the dungeon, don't have the skills, or are unsuitable in other ways. In fact, it seems like some potentially suitable people are the Toudens. There are a lot of good rumours about them going around - they actually seem to have a very positive reputation! That's what Kabru means when he says "unmask".
So when Kabru is observing something like them giving money to an old comrade from their gold-peeling days, he doesn't consider it a problem because "they're giving money to this person who doesn't actually need it" or because they must have some dark secret if they act superficially nice. I think he actually understands this situation and what it implies about Laios (in particular) perfectly well.
Laios and Falin gave money to an old comrade who got injured and couldn't work. That person then healed up but kept taking their money. Then he used the money to start smuggling illicit goods to the island.
The key is that for Kabru, the problem here is the same as with the corpse retrievers - people using the dungeon's resources to fuel dangerous, selfish, or violent pursuits cause problems for the island, attract more criminals and people with motives other than breaking the curse, and increase the chances of the whole situation ending in tragedy.
Kabru is willing to work with the Shadow Lord of the island if it gets him to his goal - he isn't scrupulous - but the criminal element of the island increasing is something he sees as a major issue.
Also, when you're evaluating someone as a candidate for power, riches, secrets, potentially kingship - then being curious about how the money you give to people is going to be used is kind of a relevant trait!
Interpersonally, Kabru's actually very easygoing - I mean, Mickbell isn't exactly an upstanding guy, is he! But Kabru likes him and they get along well. These traits wouldn't be a problem at all in a friend, or a comrade, or someone Kabru was confident he could use. But he can't get a handle on Laios, and Laios is someone who has the potential to be a major player!
On Laios' end, this is the same as with the marriage seeker who joined their party. She kept asking for things and he gave them to her, because he tries to be nice to others. He even gives her money! It's the exact same thing.
That's fine, but it became a problem because he basically wasn't interested in her motives, didn't notice she was trying to manipulate him, and it also didn't occur to him that the other party members would notice or be affected. We can assume the situation with the gold peeler is the same. When Kabru says that "It's not that they're bad people, they just aren't interested in humans," he isn't wrong.
The extent to which this is true of Laios is linked to his autism imo, (because it isn't just disinterest - he genuinely isn't able to notice nonverbal cues that people are lying to him or have ulterior motives) but to a greater or lesser extent I think it's a very common trait. Most people aren't actually that interested in other people who aren't close to them. Kabru is the weird one here. It isn't an issue except as a leader - which is why we see an immediate comparison to the Island's Lord, because that's how Kabru is evaluating them.
And disinterest in/lack of ability with people to the extent Laios exhibits it, it does, actually, make him a worse leader... it's just that as we see in the story, people can help him out. The rest of the party tell him the marriage seeker is taking advantage of him so he tells her he can't give her special treatment anymore. They're pissed and it's a crisis point - he couldn't have recovered their trust without Marcille and Falin - but that's exactly the point. With Marcille and Falin, he was able to recover their trust.
And he has other good traits that make up for it, such as his intelligence, strategic knowledge, open-mindedness and sense of fairplay.
Kabru doesn't disqualify Laios as a candidate based on what he sees about him from afar, though - he still tries very hard to get close to him, obviously hoping that if he manages he can steer Laios to defeat the dungeon and make up for his lack of people-skills in the aftermath. (Which... he does eventually achieve that goal!) He completely fails until the events of the story, so... definitely I think "They just aren't interested in humans" could also partially be a stung reaction to Laios' complete disinterest in him.
Anyway, that's my read on what exactly Kabru's "issue" with Laios is. Obviously, once he does find out what Laios' true nature is like - about his love for monsters - he develops an entirely new set of fears about Laios' priorities. But since Laios kept that a secret until the start of the story, he has no idea of that yet.
Given all that, I think it's interesting that he says that he doesn't think that the Toudens are suitable to defeat the dungeon, and that he's hoping they'll turn out to be the thieves. As some of his few potential candidates, people who he thinks may play a big role in the island's future, you'd think he'd hope they would be good people!
I suppose it's better, in his eyes, because it means that he's involved in something "interesting". They haven't just had their stuff stolen by regular criminals (boring, puts them further away from his goal) - they've been caught up in the beginning stages of "a historic event". The desperate and dwindling group forgetting morals in their quest to retrieve their lost comrade probably appeals to his sense of melodrama. Because he also just... loves drama.
Despite it being "uglier than anything he was expecting", he still pursues Laios as the person he wants to conquer the dungeon pretty much as soon as it becomes clear that he won't be able to do it himself and they are out of time. That's because... well, to be fair, there aren't any other options. And he fits standard A: he's short-lived!
and Kabru still hopes he can fit standard B, too, and be persuaded to use the power he wins for good. No matter how many nightmares he has about Laios, or whether he thinks about killing him. He doubts him, but ultimately he puts his faith in him and seems happy after the manga's ending that he made the right decision.
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#dungeon meshi meta#kabru of utaya#laios touden#labru#laios x kabru#dunmeshi#og post#kabru is such a big picture thinker. and he evaluates people more than he judges them imo#the hater jokes are funny but the people he judges most harshly arent laios and co. they're people like the island's lord.#but you don't see that as clearly because he isn't interested in the island's lord. he understands him. finds him contemptible but useful.#whereas laios lives in his brain rent free because he WANTS to understand him but doesnt quite.#even though he sees the elves as a major threat to his ultimate goals and dislikes the way they treat short lived races#he still understands and evaluates mithrun as an individual based on his own merits#he's one of the characters who is least judgemental in that sense because while he's always making judgements and evaluations#he's also constantly revising them whenever he gets more information#my beautiful machiavellian prince <3#it's genuinely a really laudable way of understanding others imo.#the only problem is that because he's driven towards his goals by his PTSD and survivors guilt#he pushes himself into situations (the dungeon and also interpersonally) that trigger him or even just upset him#without regard for what he authentically wants or his own wellbeing.
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Another pokemon twst assignments
#the joke here is that floyd is an underlying genius that he accidentally caught a legendary pokemon without knowing anything about it#he just wanted to beat the big guy up; he got 6 pokemons bcs of this; and he also got the special red gyarados#i imagine kalim get legendary & water pokemons in his family by money or connections; but they warm up to him quickly that they stays with#the legendary pokemon represents the tiger jasmine had; all the first three pokemon represents the sun kalim is#and of course how hot his hometown is; volcarona is the only thing protecting kalim from jamil if he ever tried to be funny again fshdsh#slowking bcs kalim is “slowking”; honestly i arrange the pokemons out of color harmony more than anything else#twst#twisted wonderland#pokemon#crossover#jamil viper#jade leech#floyd leech#kalim al asim#deuce spade#fanart#mega banette#eelektrik#mareanie#whimsicott#kyogre#volcarona#quagsire
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They locked me in a room a rubber room
You don’t want to go in time out, do you?
(context)
#fnaf#fnaf sb#fnaf dca#dca fandom#fnaf sun#doodle dump#dialogue dump#y’all really want to antagonize him smh (joking) (i also think it’s pretty funny)#and yes. before anyone asks: this guy is absolutely ambidextrous. he uses whichever side works better for the situation#using his left hand to draw here physically opens up his posture to the kid he’s talking to! :)#no copypastas in the daycare
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just bro banter 🤙🏻✌🏻
#the heart killers#the heart killers series#the heart killers ep6#kantbison#fadelstyle#firstkhao#joongdunk#khaotung thanawat#joong archen#gmmtv#thai bl#bl drama#this was so funny but also lowkey made me cry bc like#the way bison just wants to live a normal life and talk to his bro about his boyfriend and exchange jokes is so heartbreaking like 😭😩#i just wanna put him in my pocket#my sweet baby#you dont deserve any of this#its gonna be okay#also highkey convinced that khaotung improvised that line about kants eyes#bc we all know thats about first kdjlgdf#and i strongly agree
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It irritates me alot when people say that making medic more compassionate is ''missing the point of his character'' when he is literally shown to be in the comics.... did you miss the part where he showed concern for both sniper and miss pauling's well being in comic 5 and 6.
His actions are a combination of genuine attachment + clinical interest and these things do not cancel out one another. He is always pushing boundaries and going against the grain and i think this is what led to him losing his license in the first place. He felt stifled by the rules imposed on him.
He is shown to be extremely passionate so it makes sense that he would use his endless fascination with medicine as a way to show his affection. He loves his friends so he will find a way to make them borderline indestructible. Malpractice is his love language.
#it makes me really angry how adamant some people are against exploring his sweeter side beyond just ''heehoo evil doctor''#idk how to tell you that giving a character a wider range of complexities and oftentimes contradicting traits#does not equal 'woobification'. him being friendly social and cheerful and fascinated with the world around him (which he canonically is)#is not the same thing as writing him as a helpless softboy. those two things do not correlate#he was visibly worried when sniper wanted to get back in the fight!#it's so abundantly clear that medic just misses social cues and doesn't always react accordingly#plus his quote unquote evilness is a joke it's not. something that is meant to be taken seriously#he's more comparable to a saturday morning cartoon villain except he is a protagonist#the way he approaches medicine to me is very similiar to#a child playing potions if that makes sense. he is throwing shit together to see what sticks#and having fun with it#i might rewrite this later to be more coherent because i have alot of thoughts on him that are jumbled together#and there is so much to say abt him#also i find it so funny how inconsistent he is. he tells them they all hallucinated before brain death#yet he personally went to hell multiple times. why did he do that#tf2#medic#tf2 medic#medic tf2#team fortress 2
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peanut butter and jellyfish
contents ౨ৎ ⋆ h. shinsou x fem reader. 5k words — fluff. cursing. comforting insecurities. friends to secret lovers.
⭑ shenanigans with your not-so-secret boyfriend ft. sleepovers with eri, a cat eating pizza on you at 3am, your classmates being nosy, and an aquarium date.
note: your quirk is forensic sight! so ur gc name is the way it is bc ur eyes lol get it
You choke back a laugh as a very focused Eri puts yet another sticker on Hitoshi’s face.
Snacks and pillows are strewn around the inside of the blanket fort the three of you finished building moments before. Stiller than a rock, your calm best friend sits there cross-legged so that Eri can give him a makeover of unicorns, stars, and rainbows.
“Do you think he looks pretty yet?” Eri tilts her head at you.
“Like a real-life princess.” You giggle. “Good job, Eri!”
“Yay!” She happily high fives the hand you hold up for her. “Do you feel pretty yet, Hito-nii?”
“I feel so bonita.” Hitoshi deadpans, sending you two into another fit of giggles.
“You were pretty already, Toshi,” you coo, rubbing a thumb over the sticker of a cat making sushi on his cheekbone. Mr. Aizawa must have bought that one for her.
Hitoshi pretends to shyly gaze at you from under his long lashes. “Aw, really?”
His lips curve into a lazy smile, and a heat that you’re all too familiar with rises up your neck, you turn away–a little too quickly, to Hitoshi’s amusement.
“Nevermind you’re ugly.”
He laughs and the heat creeps up to your cheeks.
Such a simple sound, yet that soft, husky voice of his always manages to make your insides a mushy mess, even when you had painfully tripped over his cat, Celery, when he transferred and first moved into the dorms with your class.
The normally stoic, reserved purple-haired boy had doubled over with an uncontrollable wheeze, supporting himself on the sofa as your groaning self was sprawled across the floor.
God, they were lucky they were both cute.
Yet, you couldn’t help but smile as he reached a hand out to help you up, the other still covering his mouth.
That was the first time you made him laugh, and now, you’ve heard it so many times that you could finally stop counting on both your hands’ fingers but you still wanted more.
“Want me to paint your nails, Eri?” You ask, scooting over to your bedroom’s drawer.
You open it, your own light blue nails painted a color that reminds you of the sea against the pastel pink of the treasure box you take out. It had a heart-shaped diamond on the latch.
The heavy box was filled with a collection of nail polish the girls in your class usually used for their sleepovers as well, and new bottles, mostly varying shades of apple red, started mysteriously appearing the day after Eri said she had never gotten painted her nails before.
“Yes!” Eri’s eyes sparkle. “Can I please have matchy nails with Hito-nii?”
“Of course, sweetie.” You smile. She was adorable.
Hitoshi rubs the back of his neck. “You sure you want yours black this time, Eri?”
“Yes!” She huffs stubbornly. “Like dad’s clothes and those things under your eyes!”
“Hey!” He protests. She shares a mischievous look with you and you both giggle, catching the pillow Hitoshi gently throws at you.
“Oreo wouldn’t treat me like this.” Hitoshi reaches out to ruffle Eri’s hair and she squeals in protest, batting his hand away.
Eri holds up the oversized panda plushie he was talking about. It was comically bigger than her, and you had to bite back a laugh.
The moment you two spotted it in the claw machine outside Shinsou’s favorite cat cafe near campus, you knew you had to win it to add to her ever growing collection of stuffed animals.
With a grin, you remember the huge sigh of relief Shinsou let out when it finally fell into the chute.
“Duh he wouldn’t ‘cause you’re his twin!”
Hitoshi mock gasps. “Take that back.” And tickles her neck, barely dodging as you throw the pillow he threw earlier back at him.
“Woah!”
Except much, much harder.
“Don’t worry Eri, I'll protect you!” You grab another nearby pillow and throw it at him, which he easily catches in mid-air with one hand like it was a frisbee.
“Aw.” You pout. Mr. Aizawa was training him a little too good now.
Eri pats your arm to console you. “It’s okay I appre-shee—apree-shee—“
“Appreciate?” You offer, and her face brightens as she nods.
“Appree-shee-ate. You. For trying.” She finishes shyly.
“Aw, thank you Eri. I appreciate you too.”
Hitoshi’s eyes soften at the sight of you two.
“What about me?”
You scowl. “You can go duck yourself, Toshi.”
“Love you too.”
Eri suddenly gasps.
“Dad says that to Uncle Zashi too!”
Despite already knowing the answer, Hitoshi and you turn to look at her suspiciously.
“…Which one?”
As if he knows you’re talking about him, Aizawa yells down the hallway.
“Eri, brats, pizza’s here!”
─────────
“Can I have another hug?” Hitoshi asks coyly after class one day.
The bell had just rung, and you roll your eyes at his leaning form on the wall of the almost empty hallway.
Everyone was leaving for lunch.
Except you two, but that was Hitoshi’s fault.
“I just gave you one!”
“Oh no.” He places a dramatic palm to his forehead. “I think I’m going to pass out because of someone if I don’t get a hug in the next five seconds.”
“Greedy ass.” You sigh, wrapping your arms around his waist.
He hides a grin, shuffling closer to close the gap between your bodies.
Hitoshi smells like fresh linen with hints of sunshine, probably from his daily bike ride he took around campus before class started, and the coffee he brewed this morning.
A sense of comfort settles into your bones as the familiar scent envelopes you, and you breathe it in.
He softly tucks your head under his chin as you nuzzle your face deeper into his chest, your headache from taking the quiz in Ectoplasm’s class earlier now long gone.
“Did you know that when cats see that it's raining outside a window, they go to another window in the same room to check if it's still raining outside?” Hitoshi randomly whispers.
“I did not know that.” You giggle. His lips feel ticklish on your hair. “Does Celery do that too?”
“All the time.” Hitoshi grins. “I have a video from yesterday’s storm, I’ll show you in the cafeteria.”
“Ooh okay!”
He straightens, and takes your hand, your fingers easily lacing through his as you both start to head in the direction of the dining hall.
When you trip over nothing, he snorts, already expecting it, and catches your waist before you take a fall that will be difficult for your ego and your knees to recover from.
“Careful,” he says as you clutch onto his school uniform in relief, and you swear that already deep, smooth voice of his drops an octave on purpose, almost sending you to the ground again.
Hitoshi’s thumb is still tracing small circles on the back of your hand as the both of you join the line for the traditional school lunch. You could try a different cuisine tomorrow. On today’s menu was miso seaweed soup with a side of grilled fish and a milk bread roll along with, of course, rice.
You feel a vibration on the side of your leg, and for the umpteenth time this school year you thank UA for adding pockets to the school uniform’s skirts as you slip your phone out. The jellyfish charm Hitoshi got for your birthday last year dangles from your case.
Surprise, surprise, it’s the class group chat.
-forklift uncertified -
it’s barbie bitch
guysss guess what i sawwww
invisi-girl
IS IT TODOROKI IN A PINK TUTU
pikachew
girl what
invisi-girl
u guys don’t get the vision
i saw it in a dream last night
the rock
nah i get it dude
that would be so manly
ice spice
I would not be completely opposed to the idea
invisi-girl
SEE
it’s barbie bitch
it’s even better >_<
it’s barbie bitch
hitoshituckingyourhair
behindearwithasoftsmile.png
mochi cheeks
OHMYGOD!?1?2?2
SOCUTEEEEETES
airpods with wires
i saw that
airpods with wires
can yall not flirt before lunch
next time i’m gonna throw
up before i get to eat
sue you
AWWWW OUR LITTLE BABYS ALL GROWN UP
forensic balls [you]
FUCK U GUYS IM 17
yaomomo
exactly
a Baby :)
forensic balls [you]
yaoyao ur supposed
to be on my side </3
yaomomo
sorry my love i cannot
deny the facts </3
pikachew
Nahhh only shinsou can call her that guys ;))))
airpods with wires
wah wah wah
forensic balls [you]
one more word and i’m gonna change the gc name to fornite jiggle physics
sue you
NO
yaomomo
No thank you
my chemical romance
what a mad banquet of darkness
it’s barbie bitch
babe look me in the
eyes this isn’t like you
forensic balls [you]
try me.
pikachew
DO ITTTTTTT
forensic balls [you]
ok just bc u told me to
i won’t now
scotch tape
dayum rip denks
forensic balls [you]
also not my fault u guys
have early ass birthdays smh
shirt guy
Senior citizen core fr
forensic balls [you]
ily midoriya
shirt guy
ilyt pookie xx
kazoo-ki
Girl u aint slick
shirt guy
You’re so late omg
pikachew
bro has us on mute
kazoo-ki
shut up dunce face
kazoo-ki
How tf do I change my name
mochi cheeks
LMFAO
wiki-how
Bakugo it is fairly simple.
wiki-how
First you click on your profile, then your personal settings.
wiki-how
From there you press “Change Display Name” and you should be able to enter your name of preference.
kazoo-ki
K
better than you
Thanks glasses ig
wiki-how
You are very welcome.
kiri the rock
nice one dude!
sue you
wow egotistical much
better than you
You wish yours was as big as mine
pikachew
that’s what he said
it’s barbie bitch
omg it just hit me
it’s barbie bitch
the first person to
finally get bitches in our class
it’s barbie bitch
i’m so happy i could cry
pikachew
I GET BITCHES
sue you
yeah over the screen
we're talking irl
pikachew
leave me and my otome games alone
forensic balls [you]
real
forensic balls [you]
AND IM NOT DATING HITOSHI
it’s barbie bitch
HITOSHI????????
airpods with wires
first name basis is crazy
forensic balls [you]
fuck i mean *shinsou
scotch tape
y’all smell that
the rock
peeeyew
pikachew
smells like sum bullshiiii
kazoo-ki
Could’ve fooled me
yaomomo
You aren’t??? :(
yaomomo
But I wrote a reminder to wish
you two happy anniversary and
even bought tea to celebrate!
forensic balls [you]
….for what date
yaomomo
April 1st :(
forensic balls [you]
………………
airpods with wires
@ it’s barbie bitch we can see u
across the cafeteria u are BAWLING
eyebags
what the fuck
Hitoshi bites back a laugh as your widened eyes meet his, glancing up from your phone.
“Not dating, huh?” He grins.
You groan and pinch his arm. “I panicked okay! I didn’t know what to tell them.”
“Hmm, do you want me to?”
“I mean, only if you want to.” You shyly play with his fingers.
“I kind of like us being a secret from them for a little longer. It feels… nice.”
Hitoshi smiles. “I know what you mean.” He wrinkles his nose. “Though they’re so nosy it looks like they figured it out already.”
“Pffft, yeah.” Mina could definitely sniff out a relationship from miles away, no matter how much PDA you tried to sneakily do in empty hallways.
Hitoshi squeezes your hand in reassurance.
“I like it too.” He leans over, and your eyes are forced to meet the dark violet of his.
The side of Hitoshi’s soft-looking lips, courtesy of the strawberry chapstick he stole from you before class this morning, quirk up as he looks down at you with soft eyes, the ones he reserves for you and random cats he sees on the road.
“Chapstick thief,” you mutter.
“Oh, you want it back?” Hitoshi grins. “Kiss it off me then.”
Your cheeks grown warm. “Not here!”
“Good,” He smirks.
“I prefer keeping you all to myself, anyway.”
─────────
“What’s wrong?”
He’s crouching down so that your eyes have no choice but to meet his from your spot on the bean bag.
He gently pushes the switch in your hands down to your lap and pokes your thigh. You squirm away ticklishly.
“Tell me.”
“No.” You huff, picking your switch back up. “I just wanna play Stardew, leave me alone.”
“Darling.”
Your face flushes at the pet name, and he smirks. His secret weapon still works without fail. Hitoshi didn’t even need to activate his quirk to have you under his thumb.
“You’re not going to feel better if you keep it in. Tell me what’s wrong.”
His nails are still pink, you faintly notice, trying to distract yourself from your very attractive, very insistent boyfriend in front of you with his comforting hands placed on your thighs.
You painted his left hand, and Eri painted his right at the last sleepover you had together. She had insisted that he should match nails with her this time, since she matched with him last week.
It was already terrible and impressive that Hitoshi was a people-reader, even worse that he knew what to do to make you fold so easily and open up.
Curse you Hitoshi, you and your disposition for healthy communication.
You should have never recommended that therapist to him.
“I don’t know,” you finally mumble. He tilts his head, showing you that he’s listening.
“I just feel like I don’t deserve it.”
“Deserve what, sweetheart?” He asks. The softness in his voice is unbearable and what you've been bottling up for weeks finally spills out.
“I feel like I don’t deserve it when good things happen to me.”
Hitoshi blinks, then lets out a snort. Which turns into a full blown laugh coming from his chest.
You shove his face away and he falls on his butt, still chuckling.
“You’re making fun of me!” You say indignantly.
“Sorry, sorry, I just–” He coughs, and takes a breath to recollect himself.
“You say a lot of dumb shit and I think that's the worst thing I’ve heard you say.”
You pout. “I’m feeling very invalidated right now.” Hitoshi rolls his eyes, and his hands reclaim their spot on your skin, except this time he’s gently cupping your face in his hands.
He’s not used to comforting people, but you can see that he’s trying.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispers, and you inhale sharply. “You’re kind, you’re intelligent, and I see you try so hard everyday. You always do a good job when you set your sights on something. Why don’t you deserve good things?”
“I don’t know.” Your gaze is numbly pinned to the silver chain around his neck, the one with a little crescent moon on it that he wears everyday, not even taking it off when he goes to sleep. The one you gave to him.
“That’s okay.”
His thumbs caress your cheeks, and you think you can breathe a little easier.
“Let's think of it this way,” Hitoshi says, still cupping your cheeks, grounding you. “It’s not about whether you deserve it or not. Do you want it?”
You finally meet his eyes, and answer with a voice shakier than you’d like it to be.
“I do. I want good things for myself.”
“Atta girl,” Hitoshi says with a proud quirk of his lips.
You stare at him, your heart suspended in your chest, feeling better but still looking a bit unsure.
Hitoshi notices this from the way you start biting the inside of your cheek, and he leans his forehead against yours. You freeze.
He smells like fruit, like freshly washed blueberries and those ripe strawberries in the kitchen in the dorm’s fridge. “That’s more than enough. We can work from there.”
There’s still a worried furrow between your eyebrows.
“Come on, sweetheart. We can go to the aquarium you love this weekend.”
He smirks as you perk up at that, drinking up the rare, shy expression suddenly on your face again, and leans down to your ear.
“You’re so easy,” Hitoshi whispers.
You grumble, you could hear that stupid grin in his voice.
“Sorry, I can't hear you with your face in my chest.”
You raise your head to glare at him and his heart soars. There was his girl.
God, his smug face was starting to irritate you more and more. "I said that if you were my husband I'd poison your tea!"
“If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
─────────
-thot pockets -
it's barbie bitch
omg guess who i just saw
cuddling in front of the tv
it's barbie bitch
youwrappedlikeaburritoinhitoshisarms.png
dating allegation #1
MINA WTF DELETE THAT
dating allegation #1
WHY R U STALKING US
[dating allegation #2 saved an image]
dating allegation #1
BRO WHOS SIDE ARE YOU ON
dating allegation #1
PURPLE MINION LOOKING BITCH
dating allegation #2
ok forensic penis
dating allegation #2
who changed my user
pikachew
me
cuz u guys are NOT beating
them :laughcry::laughcry:
ice spice
I am just confused as to why
you two are sitting on each other
ice spice
When the rest of the couch
appears to be unoccupied
ice spice
Perhaps this is a new
procreation method?
mochi cheeks
TODORKIWHATHAHVDHSHA
pikachew
LMDFAOOOOOOOOO
ice spice
?
dating allegation #1
WHATTHEFUKC
the rock
never change bro
sue you
IACTAULKYLCANT BREATHE HELP
it’s barbie bitch
ME NEITEHHR
dating allegation #2
Whenever my eyebags get darker
dating allegation #2
Just know I blame it on all of you
─────────
“Celery?” You mutter, rubbing your bleary eyes. “What are you doing?”
“Mrow.” The cat continues eating the slice of… pizza? On your chest.
It looks like the one that you and Hitoshi ordered earlier after quizzing each other for Present Mic’s exam.
“I love you so much but I am so confused.”
You reach for your phone to text Hitoshi, your still-asleep hands fumbling a bit on the nightstand.
toshi <3 [12 hrs ago]
us
you [12 hrs ago]
literally us <3
toshi <3 [12 hrs ago]
want to order takeout and
watch ouran highschool after
we study for tmrws exam
you [12 hrs ago]
yes please omg
you [now – 03:24]
hey
can u explain why ur daughter
is eating pizza on my boobs
at 3am
toshi [03:30]
whar
?
toshi [03:31]
OHfMGOD
CELERU
Not even five minutes later, he’s knocking on the door to your room. You open it, and the sight of a very sleepy looking Hitoshi greets you. His already unruly bedhead is even messier than usual and you’re pretty sure he’s wearing his shirt backwards. Did he put it on before coming over?
Wait.
You blink, long and hard, banishing the thoughts of a groggy, very shirtless Hitoshi lying in his bed, with the light of his phone screen illuminating his handsome features as he replies to your text. Those four hours of sleep must finally be hitting you.
Hitoshi sees you blinking, and takes it as a sign you’re still in shock at the pizza monster in your lap.
He gives an awkward pat to your shoulder in reassurance.
“I think this is just how she shows affection.” Hitoshi stares down at Celery fondly.
The way you stroke her fur so softly makes his chest feel warm and tingly.
“Does she eat leftover pizza off your chest at three in the morning?”
“...No.”
“Hah. She said she likes me better. ” You smirk victoriously. “Isn’t that right sweetie?”
The calico cat purrs as you scratch her ears, a bit of tomato sauce under her chin. Hitoshi exaggeratedly puts his hand over his heart at this scene of betrayal.
“Seriously? Celery, I took you off those streets and raised you like I was the one pregnant with you for nine months.”
“Mrow.” She bumps her head against your hand.
“Pfft, give it up Toshi. It’s time for you to hand over the adoption papers.”
Hitoshi rubs the back of his neck. “Or we could just share custody.”
“What?” Your cheeks grow warm. “You want me to be her mom?”
“I mean you kind of already are. Look at her,” he says, eyes softening as he looks at the two of you.
Celery has her paw on your arm. After eating until her little tummy was full, she was already starting to doze off.
“She takes after me.”
You let out a derisive snort.
“Yeah you looked just like that after our binge marathon today too."
“Not in that way.”
He smirks at your confused reaction.
“Then what do you mean–”
At that moment, Celery decides it’s the perfect time to snuggle into your tank top, smearing what’s left of the pizza on her face all over it.
Hitoshi’s eyes widen. He laughs, covering his mouth.
You’ve never been so glad you chose to wear black to sleep.
─────────
“Trouble child, you’re here.”
“Hi Mr. Aizawa.” You roll your eyes. “When are you going to stop calling me that, it’s getting old.”
“When you stop getting into trouble.”
“Okay, that’s fair.”
“The kid’s almost ready.” He snorts. “About damn time. Been up since six.”
“He has?” Your eyes widen. “For what?”
Your teacher smirks. “Nerves. Isn’t this his, what, tenth time taking you out though?”
A flustered Hitoshi suddenly appears from behind him with a light pink dusting his cheeks and steers Aizawa back to the door. “O-okay dad that’s enough.”
He’s cutely dressed in a soft-looking grey cardigan over a white shirt and black wide-legged pants.
This had to be the most boyfriend he’s looked, ever, and he looked very boyfriend all of the time.
“Hitoshi?” You do a little twirl for him in your own outfit. “Fire or nah?”
He looks up from his phone, where he’s googling the bus route to the aquarium, except his eyes linger. Without skipping a beat, he responds.
“Fire.”
“Toshi, you’re staring.”
“Of course I’m staring.” He says it with a tone like 'what else would I be doing?'
You shyly fidget with the edge of your shorts. “Why?”
“Because you’re beautiful.”
Hitoshi reaches out a hand, like he hasn't just casually left you breathless, and his own eyes soften as he notices your starry-eyed look.
“Let’s go, you crybaby.”
“Damn. I was going to say you look handsome too, but I don’t remember being the one who sobbed my eyes out watching Your Name last night.”
The tips of his ears turn red.
“Shut up.”
“Was like our fifth rewatch too.”
“Shut up before I kiss you.”
"Is that a threat or a promise?"
"Both."
‧₊˚ 🐚 ✩ ₊˚ 🌊 ⊹ 𓇼
Hitoshi’s lips twitch as he sees your eyes light up at the sight of the sign pointing in the jellyfish exhibit’s direction. “You’re adorable.”
“Thanks.” You grin. “You’re slow.”
You take him by the arm, your brain faintly registering how muscular his bicep is despite holding it so many times, and drag him along.
In their tanks, the glow of the moon jellies fills the darkness in front of them as other visitors murmur around you two in awe. Blue light reflects off the water and through the glass, illuminating your boyfriend’s dreamy features and you can’t help but admire how pretty he looks.
Hitoshi turns from watching the jellyfish to face you, fingers now lacing through yours. You don’t look away.
A soft smile flickers across his face when he catches you staring at him.
“This reminds me of when we first met.”
You smile. You remember. He was the one Mina relentlessly teased you for staring at, which you completely denied at the time.
“Why’re you so thirsty?” You remember her whispering into your ear at the Sports Festival in your first year. The both of you were sitting in your class’s designated spots in the stands.
Your eyes had widened, scandalized.
“I am not!”
“Please. You’re totally staring at him.”
“Who?”
“Shinsou Hitoshi.” She grinned. “Cute, right?”
Of course she paid attention when they announced his name specifically.
You could never remember anyone’s, and she probably saw you looking at his picture for a little too long when it appeared on the Jumbotron’s screen, announcing that his match with Oijiro was about to begin.
“Not really,” you lied, a bad attempt at feigning disinterest.
Like your eyes hadn’t been trailing down his lean figure the moment his next match started.
Or noticing how attractive it was the way he casually folded his arms when he taunted Midoriya, or wondering in your mind if his perpetual bed-head was as soft as it looks.
Mina turned to you, smirking at your slightly dazed expression.
“Really? Then you wouldn’t mind if I told him you had some questions about his quirk and wanted to talk about it after this, riiight?”
“What?” You shake your head furiously. “I mean his quirk is really interesting but–ugh Mina, no!”
“For the plot!” She waggled her eyebrows.
You nudged her knee with a huff. “I’m breaking up with you.”
“Nooo, I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” Mina eyed you cheekily. “I won’t call him over.”
“Oh thank god.”
“But only if you admit he’s your type.”
You groan. “Okay fine. I think he’s hot, happy?”
“Very.” Your best friend laughs, pure happiness indeed written all over her face. You can see the matchmaking gears already turning in her head. “I just know you too well, babe.”
You roll your eyes. “Sometimes I really wish you didn’t.”
“Come on, you guys would be so cute together though.” She sighs dreamily. “Forensic sight and mind-control? Plus you’re both hot as fuck? Talk about a power couple.”
“....I think I’m going to go sit with Yaomomo instead.”
Recalling the memory, you laugh. “I know, we kept accidentally making eye contact after your second match because our seats were right across from each other.”
“That awkward prolonged eye contact in the stands might’ve been how I started crushing on you.”
You smirk. “You had a crush on me? That's so embarrassing.”
“I know.” He rolls his eyes, softly tucking a stray hair behind your ear. “Worst decision of my life.”
You hold Hitoshi’s hand tighter as you step closer to his side to get a better view of the tank.
“Glad the feeling is mutual.”
You spot it before he does.
“Oh my god Toshi. We need to get this for Eri.”
He spins around from the collection of the aquarium’s official shirts for sale, a shirt with a print of a whale shark in his hands.
“Wha–oh my god.”
Hitoshi stares at the giant penguin plushie you’re holding in front of you.
It was bigger than you–no, bigger than him even.
“Not sure if it’s going to fit on the train home, but we’ll make it work.”
─────────
"Can you teach me how to draw a unicorn too, Eri?" Hitoshi asks.
You had already asked Eri before him seconds ago so you stick your tongue out at Hitoshi, mouthing ‘copycat,’ and he tilts his head down to quickly kiss your neck, making you giggle.
He still has a pink bow wrapped around his bicep from when you three played dress up an hour ago, and you fight the urge to laugh again at how silly he looks.
Eri is too focused on her drawings to care about either of you, and after she scribbles around a little more, she turns to face her older brother.
“Yeah!” She hands him a red crayon. “Okay, so first you draw half of a circle.”
Hitoshi follows Eri’s instructions.
He lifts his hand, which nearly covers the paper, to reveal a red ‘C’ that looks like it got run over by a truck.
“No, no not like that! Erase it.” She frowns disapprovingly, hands on her hips. “You’re really bad at this Hito-nii.”
“Please Eri-sensei. I'm trying my best.”
“Try harder!” She turns away with a huff, then peers over at your paper.
“Ooh yours looks so good!” Eri claps, and you smile proudly.
“It’s all thanks to you, Eri.” You reach out to fix her pigtail that was starting to slip out of the cat-patterned scrunchie, and she giggles, holding still for you.
Hitoshi grumbles. “This smells like favoritism.”
“That’s ‘cause your unicorn looks Celery’s poop!” Eri chirps. Then she runs away to the kitchen right before you double over in laughter at Hitoshi’s extremely offended face, clutching onto his broad shoulders for support.
“She said your drawing looks like shit!” You snort, and he groans.
Celery’s ears perk up in Hitoshi’s lap and she meows, looking in your direction. You hold out your arms. “Celery, you want uppies?”
She ignores them and decides to sit in your lap instead, purring softly.
“Mrow.”
“Yeah? And then what?” You coo, gently rubbing her fuzzy forehead, and her eyes close in contentment.
She mewls again, pawing at your sock and you laugh.
“Okay, okay I’ll tell him.”
Looking up at Hitoshi, he tilts his head the same way Celery does when you talk to her.
You bite back a laugh, you’re not sure who’s the cat in the room at this point.
“What did she say?” He asks you curiously.
All you do is blink slowly at him in response.
Hitoshi’s brows knit in confusion.
Then his eyes widen, a soft pink starting to color his cheeks.
Shyly, he slowly blinks back.
Suddenly, the gray-haired girl comes back from the kitchen, apples Aizawa sliced like rabbits for her on a plate in her hands.
You’re still slowly blinking at each other as she walks through the door.
Eri looks at the both of you weirdly.
“What are you two doing?”
“Mrow.”
teehee hitoshi’s the pb to ur jelly(fish) get it
#shinsou lovers pls find my acc i love u ur so sexy#i think it’s funny bc u like fish and hitoshi likes cats so he jokes abt eating u LOL#i wanted to give it like a shoujo-y skip and loafer kinda title :3#fellow shinsou enjoyers i hope u like it#hitoshi shinsou x reader#shinsou x reader#hitoshi shinso x reader#mha x reader#mha oneshot#shinsou fluff#mha fluff#bnha x reader#ALSO ik it's a very common hc but shinsou would not use lavender scented products bc they're toxic to cats!!! HE WOULDNT RISK IT#would also not use a diffuser for his sleep sorry bc the oils from it can harm cats and their fur :/#he just thugs it out and drinks chamomile tea or smth#takes a melatonin every night#stop the shinsou smells like lavender allegations#bffr he would hate lavender purely for the fact that it’s poisonous to cats#I think shinsou would enjoy bath and body works scents#tho
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I made a shitpost powerpoint that blew tf up on twitter so I might as well post it here too. Argenti rerun hype 🙏🌹
#hsr#honkai star rail#honkai star rail argenti#argenti hsr#hsr argenti#i will NOT be putting any jade tags because they take this shit gravely seriously apparently!!!!#sunti#bootgenti#argenthill#argentio#luogenti#argencha#argenluo#idk the tags for the other ships sorry#but yeah the way this got so much traction all the sudden was frightening but also funny#but some of the homies took it waaaaaay too seriously#as if it wasnt evident i was just being goofy#i love argenti and that is why i love making jokes about him and his goofy ass
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don't look at me i dont know what happened
this is DEFINITELY inspired from that one world's finest issue with clark posing as bruce's bodyguard so they can catch some kidnappers or whatever dfkgjlsd
these set of scans in particular
ref pic for brucie's pose in the first image
#listen LISTEN i feel it in my bones that bruce is an EXPERT at deflecting and diffusing awkward situations bc of#how often he attends parties and interacting with socialites and rich ppl#and that would mean that when he's batman and he's stuck in an awkward situation (not of his own making mind you) he just#he just CHOOSES to let it happen LMAOOO#that is funny to me#also i love the idea of bruce teasing and joking around with supes only when it's just the two of them#and when kal shares anecdotes to the other league members of batman's little jokes and stuff they just stare at him#world's finest#dc#clark kent#bruce wayne#superbat#my art#fanart
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[ ID in ALT ]
he giggles
#wriothesley#neuvillette#wriolette#neuvithesley#genshin impact#he goes aheeheehooheehoohee#i think once neuvillette figures out how to make him laugh. he'd do it all day. and the formula is simple too he just gotta say something#really stupid. and absurd. in his usual super serious iudex voice#and wriothesley is in stitches. it's so easy. he just gotta say 'yippee' and profit. 'slay queen' and wriothesley is incapacitated#also. imagine he's ticklish. but i dont think Neuv would tickle him intentionally I think he's like. 'i heard tickling gets violent fast'#'i will not resort to that to summon moethesley'#he doesn't want to Hurt Him he just wants to see him smile and laugh and be all pink in the face. but I do think he accidentally#sets him off all the time. with kisses (neck/ears) or just like grabbing his waist and suddenly wriothesley violently Wriggles yknow.#the tickled reaction. wriothesley laments the destruction of his scary big dog image every day#but. neuvillette would only make jokes at home anyway. and to be clear it's the simple fact that neuvillette is trying to Be Funny .#that's really funny to wriothesley. or just like his awkwardness. back before he figures out he can Intentionally make wriothesley laugh#he'd bewitch him with his his gap moeism#the layers to it. Wriothesley gets embarrassed later on when he catches on because he Knows Neuvillette likes seeing him all tickled.#and flustered. and that's like so mortifying bro what do you mean you're happy just seeing me being moe#and he's embarrassed because he should not be falling for it every single time. it should not be this funny#the nerves just makes him laugh even harder. and the whole time neuvillette is just sitting there. silently delighted. waiting for the#perfect comedic timing. so he can drop a 'cowabunga!' with the exclaimation mark and all. wriothesley can't even catch his damn breathe#art#my art
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I hope you take this as the compliment it is intended to be, but you strike the same chord of irreverence-as-love, jokes-to-showcase-sencerity that I get from Chuck Tingle, and I adore both of you.
You have bestowed the greatest honour upon me.
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangij#wei wuxian#digital art#ask#Thank you very much; I do take it as the compliment you intended it to be B*)#Mr. Tingle is a legend in both grindset and vibes. To be even 0.1% striking a similar chord is an aspiration of mine.#I also want to honour the effort I put into this parody book cover. Which was a *lot* more than one would think.#Covers were analyzed. I did research and took notes. I learned how to download fonts. 4 different programs were used.#This file is also poster sized (A4 dimensions)! I thought It would make the joke funnier for some reason.#Chuck Tingle's style is very iconic and fun to replicate. Despite the time intensive labour - I had a blast making this!#I admit to skimming most of the chapter this is based off of just to fact check a few details but boy did I learn things.#Wei Wuxian canonically has CAKE. Tiny waist and a fat ass.#I took several more notes but I will warn you now that I can't *not* find smut writing to be very funny.#This was pure chaos. Unbridled chaos. WWX really did shove a sword up his ass to bully dream-LWJ.#The need to be a little shit trumps saftey I guess.#There is a 99.9% chance I will not cover the extras so this is likely all the fans of those chapters will get from PD-MDZS.
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Misha Collins is the funniest straight man ever. He’s the only person to arguably queerbait in real life. He had to come out as a straight. He was told by WB to just stay bisexual. He’s living every homophobe’s nightmare scenario but the only difference is that everyone actually loves it for him
#misha collins#also don’t argue about me about the queerbait thing I know he didn’t it’s just a fucking joke#anyway back to the funny#more straight people should honestly be like him#keep ‘em on their toes#or something#I know nothing about this man or supernatural#but I adore him#have y’all seen his feud on Tiktok with icaruspendragon?#btw someone should check on her#but it’s hilarious#I hope he loves the rest of his life by just adding fuel to the fire that is his life
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