#also his house is pretty nice actually
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I'm watching/walking my dad's dog, and my hips think I shouldn't it seems
#if they hurt any more than this I'd go to the hospital but I'm used to it at this point#mothman yells#also his house is pretty nice actually#and the dog is well behaved and snuggly
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In the last eight years or so -- which means it's not just COVID-related issues -- I've lost my favorite local coffee house, my favorite local bookstore, my favorite local quirky restaurant, AND my favorite local Irish pub with the 1916 Easter Rising mural, and now I'm about to lose my favorite local secondhand clothing shop. 😭
#pretty much all of them have to do with an inability to pay the sharply rising cost of rent in this area#the clothing store owner is an 80yo woman who never remembers me lmao but she's very nice and has excellent fashion taste#the bookstore employees actually wanted to collectively buy the business from the owner but the owner said no#because he also owned the building and thought he could make more by renting it out to another business#joke's on him the place has been empty for several years now since he killed his own bookstore SUCK MY DICK MOTHERFUCKER#not unrelatedly now that my dad has officially inherited the house from my late grandmother the county has reappraised the property#and we're anxiously waiting for confirmation of the annual tax to see if we can pay it :/ two attorneys have told us to expect#an increase of like 8-12k/year 😭 and yet california's democratic supermajority failed to pass rent caps 🤡💀#hound barks
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Oh mother, tell your children Not to do what I have done Spend your lives in sin and misery In the house of The Rising Sun
#okay but can we agree? House of the rising sun? beautiful amazing incredible timeless masterpiece? yeah?#all i want is to put on a cute 70s dress with the bell sleeves and some gogo boots and get my hair all pretty with the flip curls#and go to one of those really cool and dark and lowkey shady bars you see on the movies. with a pool table and a jukebox#hard-looking bartender with an impressive mustache named Mitch or Hank#and go up to the bar and he'd be like “whatya having doll?” “oh. anything sweet please”#and he hands me some soda-gin or whatever with a lemon slice. and the guy next to me notices my drink and is like#“hey Mitch. give the lady something nicer eh? maker a double from the back shelf. extra ice”#“i'm fine with this actually. i don't drink whiskey” “tonight you do sweetheart”#and he's wearing some really nice jeans and boots and a dark shirt and a leather jacket. dark hair but has some freckles. charming smile.#“what is a pretty thing like you doing in a place like this? i think them church youths go bowling next door”#“i am not lost. can't a girl enjoy some music” “does the boyfriend know?” “i answer to no one”#and he takes a long drag of his cigarette and chuckles. Mitch brings my new drink as gives him a look before drafting some beer#“so. the pretty lady likes a little danger eh?” “the lady has a name” .#i take a sip of the whiskey and try real hard not to cough. he thinks it's funny. i think he's a little cute#“does she now? and does the lady dance by any chance” and he's standing up quite tall and offers me a hand “she does”#and we go to the dance floor near the jukebox where quite a lot of people are dancing and eventually this song starts playing#and he kisses me surprisingly gentle and tastes like menthol cigarettes and hard liquors and I'm definitely a bit dizzy from the drink#he probably has a cute name like Daniel (Danny is what everyone calls him)#and maybe he has a bike or a really nice convertible. obviously red. je offers to take me home but we're just driving for a bit instead#“didn't you daddy taught not to get into stranger's cars?” “my daddy also taught me not to kiss pretty boys and yet”#“so you think i'm pretty?” “pretty enough”#and we laugh to the wind and the radio is on and this song starts playing again and it's a perfect moment#anyways. great song great band 👍#darya's mixtape#Spotify
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∙ Basics ∙
Name: Hawu'li Puu Nickname(s): No one's really came up with anything (me included) Age: 23 Nameday: 17th Sun of the 4th Umbral Moon (17.8) Race: Keeper of the Moon Miqo'te Gender: Male Orientation: Gayyyy Profession: Warrior of Light / travelling healer
∙ Physical Aspects ∙
Hair: Lavender purple and pretty fluffy. The turquoise part of his bangs is dyed, and needs to be redone regularily. Eyes: Bright yellow Skin: White with pink undertone Tattoos/Scars: White, slightly curved "dots" next to his eyes, three on each side. No notable scars - he's very diligent in healing any big hurts after battle.
∙ Family ∙
Parents: - Mother, Hawu Puu. Matriarch of the Puu family. Alive and well, strictly leading her family back in Shroud. Hawu'li visits her, but rather rarely. - Never met his father, nor know anything about him. It's uncertain if he even knows he has a kid. Siblings: - 2 older brothers, Hawu'a and Hawu'to. Hawu'a lives back in Shroud and hunts for a living, while Hawu'to is a researcher in Old Sharlayan. - Grand total of 5 older and 2 younger sisters. Three of the older sisters left home after adulthood to start their own families, the rest of them live with their mother and help provide for the family. Grandparents: Mostly unknown. Hawu sometimes talked about her mother (Hawu'li's maternal grandmother), but she had passed away before Hawu'li was even born. Other: - Draevoux "Drae" Chevalier and Nana Chevalier, elezen couple who are both his (currently retired) co-wols and "roommates". - Varying lineup of partners. He's poly with multiple partners and I've yet to make a solid list of them all since they change all the time. Aymeric and G'raha are the two I mention most. Pets: Carby the Carbuncle. Hawu'li's uh, not that good with names. Carby is your avarage ruby carbuncle, but is around pretty much 24/7. Often refered to as Hawu'li's "emotional support carbuncle", since it's jobs include keeping him calm when he is left alone.
∙ Skills ∙
Abilities: Strong affinity with healing magic and the ability to hear the elementals, making him a formidable white mage. When situation calls for destruction rather than healing, he's also well versed in the art of summoning, and has been known to call upon demi-Bahamut when feeling truly desperate. Hobbies: Cooking, reading and singing. Also likes to mend stuff (patch holes, fix broken furniture) and read stories to kids (usually his sisters')
∙ Traits ∙
Most Positive Trait: Seemingly endless positivity. For someone who's job is to kill gods and see people get hurt on daily basis he's somehow still sure Things Will Be Better, and that deep down everyone has the potential to change for the better. Most Negative Trait: Separation anxiety. From some deepest parts of his soul comes a crippling fear of being left alone. At it's worst, he'll go into full blown panic attack in fifteen or so minutes after losing sight of others. At it's best (mostly after EW) he'll survive with only Carby as his company for almost half a day.
∙ Likes ∙
Colors: Purples, turquoise, most pastels and bright colors Smells: Freshly baked things, forest, lilies, apples baked with cinnamon Textures: Running fingers through silky hair. Wood, fur and silk. Rocks smoothed over by water. Drinks: Tea (any), milk, blackcurrant juice, mulled wine
∙ Other details ∙
Smokes: Nope Drinks: Only in company Drugs: Nuh-uh Mount Issuance: Koivu, his beloved lavender chocobo companion. Disinterested in almost everything, but happily follows any command given by his owner in exchange of some tasty treats. Been Arrested: Surprisingly, only once - in Ishgard, on suspicion of heresy along with Alphi and Tataru. (Drae took the msq spot of fighting for Tataru's freedom)
Seen this tag game around a lot lately, and I wanted in on the fun despite not being tagged. Took a lot longer to fill than I thought, so we'll see if I have the energy to fill this for other ocs too.
If you want to do it too, go for it! ♪(´▽`) It takes a while, but is very fun to fill~
#yeah fun fact hawu'li does not have any nicknames purely because i can't think of any#his name is long enough for it to be a pain to fully write every time....#but i don't like the idea of calling him hawu since that's his mother's name so it is what it is /shrug#“roommates” since their house is basically a 3 story mansion#i'm not sure who actually owns it since it was a gift from elder seedseer after becoming heroes. maybe co-ownership?#right now it's basically drae and nana's house since hawu'li is off doing wol stuff#positive and negative traits were hard picks haha#debated between postivity/love and naivety/anxiety for a long time#he's full of love towards pretty much the entire world#but also very gullible and easily hurt because he assumes everyone is nice and loving#also: his separation anxiety is like. half eleos' fault#poor man had such regrets upon dying alone that his shards feel the same panic#hey wanna hear something really horrible?#that means ardbert had that fear too#and that he had to exist all alone for like 100 years :)#purple catboy#idk what to call his little eye tattoos lol#flowers? drops? orbs??
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just a few foster puppy pictures out of the hmm. 500 that i have
[id: nine photographs of various brown, floppy-eared puppies. first: top view where puppy is sitting down and looking up at the camera. second: sitting with his tongue out. third: laying down on her side with her head on my leg, looking straight at the camera.
fourth: laying down on her belly. fifth: sitting and leaning against me, his head quite close to the camera, which he's looking at. sixth: one puppy lays down while another rests her chin on his back.
seventh: an extremely close-up view of a puppy's face. eighth: a puppy, who notably has one blue eye, looks through the glass door. ninth: puppy stands on her hind legs, front paws on the glass door, looking inside. end id]
#monotonepost#piranhapuppies#<- gonna be tagging any pics i post of them as that#dogs#couple of the pics r a lot older than others.#and possibly 500 is a bit dramatic i dont actually remember how many i have. but i have a LOT regardless#realized i never rlly posted any of them though...#we don't have any of them anymore. they're either gotten given to other fosters or adopted#unfortunately half of them did get sick with parvo. a couple were ones we'd given to another foster#the last 3 we had left we had to give to a parvo house#they've been pulling through tho they're doing ok!#if u dont know about parvo it's a really nasty (literally) disease. fatal if u dont get them help within 24ish hours#um. on a more brighter note that pup in the 2nd to last pic? he actually ended up keeping that blue eye#which is weird cause neither of his parents have blue eyes. the pups ARE mutts tho so shrug#of course the brattiest one had to be the prettiest one <3 very pretty brown brindling pattern too. like a calico cat#i say brattiest he's actually a sweetheart. just very excitable#goddd i miss these guys so much...#was really tempted to keep one of them for a bit there but im just not a very energetic person so i figured it was best i didnt.#does mean im forever gonna be wondering about what-ifs though.#ALSO to note: these were some of the few nice pictures i got. most of them were blurry cause they were never still sdfjkhdsfj
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little soup cans are some of the neatest things we have, wish there were more soup-can-like things in this world
#just me hi#though canopeners need to stop being deadly weapons to some degree before that hfhs#'they're not deadly tho ?' well usually yes. but did you know that they can age Badly? i did not!#and the one I was using was dulled to an extent that it would Skip over a part of the can#(nearly the same spot every time lol) and when I thought I'd managed to fool it and had only#the tiniest bit of metal between me and some beans (pretty sure it was beans) I thought#'ohh I'll just pull up the can lid :)' Well the lid snapped off completely towards and Into my hand#and I had a bean-can wound on my pinky for about a week or so. I do not know how long it's been lol#//but soup cans are pretty cool I feel like they're kinda underappreciated !!#you can just have Soup ? Whenever ??? and it's Normal !! wow :D#sure making soup is pretty great. but that's a process man. and we're not even associates#[<- 'a process I am (not) intimate with']#like there is a little can of menudo in the pantry rn - medunito they call it isn't that just !! - and it's just there. it can be made in#like 10 minutes. is this Not the best thing ever ! ?#//I've also gotta figure out this sleeping thing that I've got going on (everybody has it going on)#I was maybe half a week into actually have a consistent thing going but the night I stopped was bc I am a sucker of a storyteller and we#were up til about. I think 4-6 a.m.#that's on me yes. my siblings vs. my desire to tell stories and rubber willpower hfbdh#a deadly match truly#and also I lost my snoopy watch (RIP snoopy watch you will be missed (I can't find it send help Waough)) and that was the only clock I had#in this room so now if I wanna know the time I have to go the living room - which is like a whole dang thing lemme tell you about it#/first I've gotta get up - easiest thing by far - and get to the door - assuming I don't get KO'd by my siblings' belongings on the floor -#get to the door. the door Is broken to some extent. opening it means a loud THDPD noise is sent throughout the entire house lol. and you#have to yank on the thing to get it open - so double effort there - and then you step out into the hallwayish area where you can then enter#the living room - oh so easy! but No! you then have to either turn on the kitchen lights and wake everyone with their door open or sleeping#in the living room for whatever reason Orrr you have to clamber over chairs pots perhaps a cat if you've got real bad luck that night to ge#up nice n personal to the clock so you can read the dang thing and see it's 11:23. which is like nothing so you stay up Anyway and do not#check the clock again because not only was that a hassle but also you released every creature that was in the room with you (that's a lot o#noise). but Yea the clock situation is ongoing hfbsh#'why don't you get a clock' that would be much too easy loll :) (last one disappeared and we keep forgetting lol) //ran out of tag space so
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One of the biggest reasons I try to recruit all the characters in Three Houses isn’t just because I don’t want to kill them, but because if I do, I still have to go back to the monastery afterward. I still have to pass by their dorm rooms full of their belongings and know that’s where they spent their alone time and where they slept. I still have to pass by the spots they frequented the most. It’s not just the sad dialogue of characters reacting to the deaths, but passing by the spots I vividly remembered them hanging out at.
I realized this most in my first playthrough when I didn’t have the chance to recruit everyone and I accidently killed Raphael at Gronder. I didn’t have the enemy attack range turned on so I didn’t realize he was in range of attacking.
During an exploration, I was looking for Ignatz who was, unfortunately, in his dorm room... and I walked into the wrong room and into Raphael’s after he was killed and man that fuckin’ sucked! Feels bad but like, multiplied with big numbers, u kno??? ???
YES, IT’S A VIDEO GAME. YES, I HAVE HUMAN BEING FEELINGS ABOUT IT.
#DCB Comments#I also didn't get to recruit Ferdie in my first playthrough which is what I mean about#characters mentioning others dying. like Dorothea saying ''we killed Ferdie'' didn't hit nearly as hard as#walking into now dead Raphael's room and seeing all his stuff still lying around the way it was left when everyone had to flee#AND THE WORST PART? it's not like I MEANT to go into his room and stew on it. I completely accidentally walked into it#because I was trying to find/talk to Ignatz who was in his own room. MIND YOU after that I made it a point to NOT#walk into Ferdie's room and have that same thought process! because like. Raphael isn't one of my faves#and it was a huge Feels BAD Man moment walking into HIS room#forget if I walked into the room of someone I loved!!! I did try to recruit him but it just didn't work fast enough#I BARELY got Caspar in that run bc it was the final month which is only two weeks and I think I actually#didn't even get him the first week. I'm pretty sure I got him on the absolute last week so literally on#the absolute last possible exploration for recruiting. I had Linhardt already so I was hellbent on getting Caspar#bc I didn't want them to have to be enemies. basically I'd watched the game online already before playing#bc I didn't own the game or a Switch for a while after the game was out. I knew the spot you fight them at#and that they're both in the same chapter as enemies if not recruited which meant that if I only got Linhardt#that Caspar would be alone as my enemy and he wouldn't even have his best buddy there AND they'd be enemies#also tho Raphael just hit hard because I may not consider him a fave at all but he was still a nice dude you know??? ??? ???#like he's just a regular nice guy vibing and like... realizing that gentle nice man was killed in war#and walking into his old room was SADS. very big sads#DCB Three Houses Stuff
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Ah, so tell me Sugar or Salt for better preservation?
salt! especially when you're working with dry preservation, which is what it's being used for typically. sugar will attract bugs and other things which will eat away at the specimen, along with not drawing out the moisture nearly as well / at all.
but if you're working with things like rabbits feet, which are intended to be dry at the end, you'd think that the process involves just drying them, right? but you'd be wrong! the process (at least that i've followed in the past) involves soaking them twice, once in a soapy water mixture to remove parasites, then in a high concentrate isopropyl alcohol, rinsing thoroughly between steps.
processes vary depending on what you're working on. another example is that for the rooster i'm planning to take the wings from, i'm going to need to both remove his wings, and go through the process of removing the flesh while also keeping the skin in tact around his bones, since i'm going to be effectively stuffing the void with cotton, so that everything lays properly when its all dried. those are actually going to be dried in salt, which is primarily because he was a domestic animal and i know where he'd been.
#ask a ghost#asker: dragon-phoenix-along#ask anybody that's vced with me about the “morgue” in the freezer lol i have a collection of projects i've been chipping away at#the rooster's name is apricot btw! his feathers are a beautiful buff color and the hen that's the same breed is named peach ^_^#she's also our broody hen which is very entertaining#also further context. apricot killed himself on a fence and our birds have never been kept for the intent of consumption beyond their eggs#i actually have another one of the chickens who met a terrible fate because of that fence. they're a polish crested!#very pretty bird. sad we only have one of them now but the other one is called parsnip and she lives with our reject hen who's been#effectively plucked clean by the flock in the past. those two get along though so it's nice <3 they live up by the house
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Okay I think I actually love the Brazilian dub of toh (<- I do not speak Portuguese)
#ramblings of a lunatic#the owl house#i can't comment on how well things are translated BUT i do know that i love the voice acting for it#the only one I'd say is so-so so far is hunter (I'm just attached to Zeno. tho i do love his latin american VA patricio lago!)#but also i haven't heard much of him yet#BUT WILLOW LUZ AND GUS ARE ALL ON POINT??? not in terms of voice matching but in terms of character energy#lowkey appreciated them not going for as much of a generic high pitched mean girl voice for boscha#as much as i like eden reigel in the og version this version feels like a girl who is good at sports and bullies you abt it#haven't seen Darius' tho (I'm watch asias and switched dubs part way through)#watching in different dubs is fun though!!! it's not as fun as the spanish dub where I can actually catch every other word or two#but it's also more fun bc it makes the episode feel fresher for me. which is nice since I've seen this show like. 4 times lol#anyway! ya learn something new everyday#i think i might watch king's tide in the Japanese dub someday tho bc belos va reminds me of the fuckin. badguy in pretty cure#and that's so funny to me. that's so funny
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ive successfully gotten most of my family to watch good omens (s1), including everyone who I thought i COULD convince and 1 who i DIDN'T
#i also didn't even actually TRY to get my dad to watch it#we just happened to choose to watch it on my parents room so we could lay on the bed#and he happened to be in the room and didn't leave#i didn't think anything of it until episode 5 when he laughed at 'you wouldn't get that kind of performance from a modern car'#and in ep6 he asked of we'd be good 'GOOD tennant' in s2 cus his theory#on why they survived the hellfire/holy water#was ig that they switched places as angel and demon ???? which is a FASCINATING theory imo#anyway I'm going back to their house AGAIN next week to watch all of s2 :)#have to let my sister know so she can join us if she wants#she's already seen episodes 1-3 but will my mom has always been better at binging than my sisters gjkskvksjf#I'm slightly nervous about s2 just bc of how very very queer it is amd my oldest sister and dad are...... not exactly the easiest???#to show these things??????#bc i have no idea how to predict their reactions#my mom will be pretty fine with it probably... my sister has been known to make comments about how the 'sjws' push stuff so much#and my dad is....... pretty old fashioned to say it nicely. he knows that me and my sisters are queer (sexuality)#and doesn't really have any issues#and his favorite actor is cary grant who is ??? controversially bi????? but like i said; hard to predict#anywho I'm still excited anyway#good omens#shh ac
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Mmm nothing like a good old full blown panic attack, I haven't had one in years. This time at least I have access to medication to make it stop a lot faster, but I have 6 pills left for the next 2,5 months and the recent trends in my mental state are not looking good.
#majek says shit#very bad year and VERY BAD week#had a new friend over for a few days and they had and encounter with an absolute bed bug infestation a couple days earlier#took all precautions they could and were very serious about the whole thing but were paranoid#something bit my bf on the knee literally the day after she left and we're in overdrive now#I say it's a mosquito because that night there was one in the house that I couldn't cath#but he says thats not how his body reacts to mosquitoes. I'm keeping myself in denial to preserve the little mental health I have left#my body decided that the stress will manifest as itchy hives which is great#we moved everything to my room and I'm going insane#I need my own space to live with someone and we even slept separately for like 2 years because it's better for sleep quality#and now we sleep together which is pretty nice and nicer than I remembered but also I have literally no space mental or physical#I'm unemployed and he works from home#we moved the tv to watch movies in bed and everything is taking so much physical space. my personal space#the house is a mess and my life is a mess and everything seems hopeless#I'm having... anxiety attacks? first once a week now every day. I always thought they were like milder panic attacks#they kinda are. as in they are shorter. and actually about something not the undescribed “watch out!”#but severity is like a panic attack was compressed into a few seconds which feel like I'm standing on the edge of a void pulling me in#it's physical. I have to physically hold on to something or move my body vigorously as if I'm shuffling away#and it lasts literally seconds and I'm fine-ish#my psychiatrist heard about it happening once a week and wrote me a prescription (?) to go to psychiatric hospital#not to stay there but for intensive 5-6h daily three month therapy#and after that visit I started having these attacks daily I think because it got to me that I'm Not Ok#it all started when I started on my new antidepressants and they are helping... but I'm afraid they are breaking something else...#I'm scared that they are#but so much is happening#unemployed for a year. my industry is going to shit. lost my friend who made sure to give me a big package of toxic waste as a farewell gift#so I have no support from anyone who even remotely understands me#unemployment means rejection over and over because I'm trying...#and this week exhausted me socially on top of everything. and the bed bugs threat. it's good I at least have xanax when it gets like today#oh also I'm turning 30 in a month. this is going to be great for job opportunities I can feel it
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the house i grew up in was a little bit of a fixer upper. for the first 19 years, my dad just sort of slowly fixed it, but pretty early on in college, he came into a large amount of cash and decided to just do the whole thing at once. so he rented a different house for like, 2 months that was just a block down from us, and then got a bunch of contractors to fix original house ASAP. it was kind of crazy, but it compressed many years of work into like, three months.
the sitting in a new house for three months was actually pretty fun. and i shouldnt really complain at all (staying at home while in college is a sweet deal)
but.
but. my parents are fairly hard of hearing, and their bedroom in the old house was in the furthest possible annex from everyone else. wheras in the rental it was just in the middle of the house. so without going into details, i was extremely aware that my parents were having sex like, eight times a day. my dad had just retired and i guess they were celebrating, which is great i guess, having parents that really like each other is way better than the alternative, but also, it did make me envy their deafness. i kept headphones on for so long that year i got literal ear calluses.
at the same time, the house my buddy from the shoe incident grew up in flooded. turbo flooded. they burst like, two pipes at once and the damage was so severe they had to redo all the flooring and all the drywall. his family actually had homeowners insurance, which is either incredible or suspicious for a family that used the drained pool in their backyard to store rusty scrap metal. so insurance was handling the work, but in the meantime, they were crammed into a very small hotel room space. we did the math on it then, it averaged about 80 square feet a person.
so one day i got home, and i was chilling, and then six rolled around, and apparently six o'clock was sex o'clock because my parents decided to flex their cardio. i grabbed my headphones and prayed that god would do for me what he did for beethoven, but that failed to work, and then seven rolled around and my parents were still at it, which again, very impressive, but was pushing me to swap out judas for mozart in those prayers. there's a definitive point where you stop praying to be deaf and instead pray that god could take you to a nice field and pop you like a gore-balloon.
i was about five minutes away from that point when my friend called me and basically said i have been stuck in a 500 square foot space with 6 people and i didn't have many marbles to start but what few i had are gone. please. if we are friends, if we were ever friends, take me out of here just for a moment.
and i was still pretty mad at him, but i had pity on the poor guy. also helped that i was desperate to leave the house. so i drove the chickenshitmobile to the hotel and i picked him up, and then we did our normal hangout activity, which was go to food city and buy produce. his normal house was, on a good day, nasty, and his backyard was, as i stated before, mostly used to store mosquito larvae and rusty metal, so what we'd always done before was just walk to the grocery store a half block away and leer at vegetables.
so we did that and it was like old times again. they had some radishes that were expired, so i could buy like, literally an entire grocery bag of them for about $5. so i did. i really like radishes. he got a coconut because he liked fruit and beating things with hammers.
which probably would've been great except we didn't have a hammer, so instead we spent about 30 minutes stomping itike it owed us money. when it finally cracked we cheered like we just got the winning touchball at the superdome and then he ate some of the flesh, and i ate some of the radishes, and we admired the black, starless sky of the city before i took him back to his hotel room.
and then we got pulled over.
i forgot to turn my lights on because the street all around the food city was ludicrously well lit. so it went from being pretty bright, to pretty bright and flashy, then i pulled into a parking lot and a cop came to ask us for IDs which is where everything went to shit:
i’d forgotten my license at home.
the cop was was actually kind of chill about it - he said he could get by with just an address. except i did not know my address. i hadn't memorized the new one yet. so i told the cop, my house is getting remodeled, i don't know my address right now. and then he went to my friend, and my friend said the exact same thing. house getting remodeled, staying somewhere else, no address, sowwwwwwy.
now the cop genuinely didn't know what to do. he went back to his car, and i was stressed that i was about to get into HUGE trouble so i started eating the radishes and my buddy started eating more of his coconut, and we actually managed to eat like a quarter of both before the cop came back. we ate enough produce that he could smell something weird in the air, and he asked what the smell was, and i said radishes, and my buddy said coconut, and the cop said which, and then we produced a large bag of droopy radishes and an absolutely brutalized coconut, and the cop was just like
so my buddy tried explaining how he was sharing a 500 square foot apartment with 6 people and wanted a fruit he could fight with power tools, and i tried explaining how i'd actually tried buying my parents like, board games and puzzles and stuff but nothing worked - the only thing my parents seemed to like doing right now was each other, and we both went on long enough and pathetically enough that the cop eventually went:
ok. stop.
and we stopped.
and he said do you know why i pulled you over?
and i said, because of my headlights, and my friend (who is hispanic) and the cop both looked at me like like i was the dumbest person in the entire world. and then the cop said no. that's why i'm allowed to pull you over. i checked your car because this neighborhood has a terrible sex trafficking problem, and i pull over every car i can to make sure no one is buying or selling sex. and you two are obviously doing neither. now i could give you, like, four tickets right now, but that would do nothing to make this area safer, so just turn your lights on, go home, drive safe, and try to be less stupid in the future.
and i said okay but i was thinking, you know, damn, this is just how i live man, i don't have a hidden third gear i can shift into. people can't just get smarter because it would be convenient. it's always convenient to be smart. i am literally trying my best.
but i didn't say anything because i was, slowly, learning how to filter what i said. instead i nodded and the cop left then i dropped my buddy off, and the last thing he said was said he owed me for responding to his SOS. I said he owed me for a lot of things, and he agreed that was true. then i drove home with my lights on, 5 under the speed limit, and arrived to a peaceful quiet home. I could’ve wept with relief but instead I went to bed.
the relief was short lived. i was woken up at 6 am by my parents. i swore, and then i prayed, and when i did not explode, i swore again. then i got up to make breakfast before my first class.
#babylon-lore#anecdotes#funny stories#the second dumbest traffic stop of my life#the first happened on a date with my wife#and it's a pretty good story#i#ll get around to that one eventually#like its not shoe story good but it's a funny little incident
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. extended from my last post aksjd
#wait actually i gotta add to that#one of my uncle has 7 kids (one is an adult and the rest are under 12) (some are children through marriage)#they were there for funeral and the internment which honestly made the whole thing feel like bittersweet#i have cousin who runs a tourist housing business in taiwan and lives in china who came out too#some extended family who live in minnesota also came out for the first time in 20 years#pretty sure another one of my uncles is ocd (self described) and was VERY adamant about white roses#also his glasses fully broke right before he had to give his eulogy which im sure was nightmare for him#but he did great anyway!#and my mom stole a toy dinosaur from the church that the kids had been playing with 💀#also the minister was really sweet and funny and adapted so well to us akdjd#also apparently his mom is in the hospital rn and his car is in the shop and im really worried about this guys mom now#hope shes okay#anyway. i have such an odd family and they all live so fsr away so#its nice to see them again#mal talks#death cw
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PRETTY KITTY TURNS PRETTY HORNY .ᐟ FT SATORU GOJO
synopsis - finally you decided to adopt a new friend at the adoption centre! only, he wants to be more that friends…
warnings - p in v, brief oral sex (fem receiving) unprotected sex, slight manipulation(?) creampie, shitty smut, petname: master used mockingly, not thoroughly proofread, talk of potential children, lowk masochist gojo, ect ect. fem reader
notes - yay I finally got this out! lol it honestly did get a bit sloppy at the end but I wanted to get this out b4 christmas!enjoy! the smut is lowkey short but I don’t want to fix it..
edit - I just realised I posted this on his death date
Phew, you did it.
You finally grew a pair and adopted a newly rescued snow-leopard hybrid! After months of your self-pitying you managed to convince yourself to adopt a friend!
You spent many, many hours contemplating on whether to actually adopt. And many hours more watching sad videos on hybrids, how mistreated they are out of the adoption centre.
That was more than enough to convince you.
Now you have an exotic hybrid of your own! And he’s just the cutest little—er big thing! He’s got fluffy little ears, a handsome face, striking blue eyes, and the fluffiest tail in the world!
You’ve learnt a lot about him. His name is Satoru Gojo, around the same age as you! Unfortunately, he spent a lot of his life in illegal fighting rings. Poor thing almost got killed a while back. Luckily, his caretakers at the agency have had no aggression problems with him! He’s affectionate, friendly, reckless at times, but overall great to have as a first time owner!
He’s really—really big. His head just about reaches the ceiling of your small apartment. It's gonna be hard finding clothes for the man. Let alone a bed.
But that’s all a problem for future you!
Packing him in the car was a hefty thing, his tallness being the main problem, a little cramped (he had to lay half his body on the floor) but it worked in the end!
As soon as you bought the little—uh, big critter home, you pampered him with affections. Petting his head, rubbing his ears, scratching under his chin all that stuff that makes him mushy in the brain!
The only problem would be leaving him alone… he’s fairly clingy. You’ll just have to work on that. He seems capable enough. Hopefully…
Note to self: get a baby cam.
˗ˏˋ — ˎˊ˗
Maybe this was a mistake.
Satoru’s a really good guy, he’s friendly, definitely affectionate and really clingy. All good qualities that you love about him!
But, there are qualities you come to… dislike, so to say.
He’s bratty. defiant against your house rules, a back-talker.
He always wants attention. Pushing things off counters or using his tail to block your eyes whenever he wants to annoy you.
He’s very manipulative. Using his wide eyes to trick you—or anyone—into giving him sweets!
He’s also unbearably horny, probably his worst trait. Always trying to rub against you, heck even mount you! For someone so angelic-looking, he sure ain’t an angel.
And you can name a couple of… embarrassing incidents.
Incident #1
“Hey—Toru! What are you doing, stop that!” You shout, trying to push him back and away from— wait, are those your panties he has in your mouth!
“Satoru! Bad boy, get those out of your mouth!” You splutter, face flushing red.
But, apparently you adopted the devil.
He tilts his head in an innocent way, ears flopping to the side as he deviously munches on your precious—and very expensive—underwear.
You try to wrestle them away from his maw, unlucky for you, you’ve also adopted an abnormally tall hybrid. His innocent act drops as he dangles them above your head, laughing at your embarrassment.
Of course, he gave it back. Not without it slicked in his spit and now turned crotchless.
It was… not a great moment for you or your hopes of being dominant over him.
Incident #2
It’s a nice sunny morning, you got up earlier than your alarm, made a nice breakfast, and finally got that darned work assignment finished.
A peaceful day.
Until your precious kitty takes his biting urges on you.
“Satoru, do-don’t bite meee!” You whine, once again trying to push away the snarky beast. God, why must he be twice your size.
He chuffs, pining you with his weight as he nibbles at your skin. Tail swaying mischievously behind him.
“Mn—be still, lemme jus’…” He whispers. Devious man he is. His nibbling becomes full-blown bites, decorating your neck and collarbone in a bazillion bite marks.
Satoru only giggles at your pathetic attempts of squirming away. Pfft, you think he’ll let you walk away? Nothing gets away from his keen eyes.
Needless to say, the bite marks were not a fashion statement at work. Didn’t really capture as many complements as it did laughter.
Note to self: Invest in a muzzle.
Incident #3
Now, maybe this is your fault. You did notice the change in behaviour, he’s always been clingy— the staff at the agency did say he was… the possessive type. But! You didn’t notice the possessiveness until now! So it’s not entirely your fault.
Okay, maybe his growling at your friend— male, should you note— was a teensy red flag, the constant butting of his head against you was also alerting you. So you maybe-sorta-should’ve predicted this.
Maybe if you realised that Satoru is not entirely human (even though he acts like it), you would’ve remembered he has an amazing sense of smell.
“aaahnn… mornin’ Toru’, how did you sleep hm?” you yawn. The lack of response is unnerving, and rude.
“Hey now, ts’ not nice to ignore me, Satoru.” Again silence, wait—what the-?
“Oof! Satoru—gah!—get off!” You struggle, your overgrown hybrid kitty has decided to pounce on you, his full weight crushing you.
“H-hey—oh!” Did.. did you feel that correctly, is your boy.. oh gosh.
“Mrrow…mn, you smell s’ good.” His breath is hot against your neck, sniffing at your throat, his fuzzy ears rubbing under your chin.
“Mnh—heat, in heat? mrr..” He purrs, big hands encasing yours as the big idiot rocks his hips against your backside— oh my.
“H-huh? No, down Satoru! Bad boy—ooh!—don-don’t!” You try not to moan out as he ruts against you. Licking at the nape of your neck, almost mockingly.
“Heh— shh, I’ll take care of ya. Aw’ you’re so small compared to me..” Satoru breathes, chuckling like he always does.
…
Lets just say, Satoru has become real good friends with the spray bottle.
Note to self: Get him neutered.
˗ˏˋ — ˎˊ˗
And there are way more incidents as… sexual as these ones. You love the big guy, he’s cuddly, got a fuzzy head, really warm, but he seems to really enjoy mounting you. Like, really badly.
He’s become a menace! I mean, you knew he wasn’t neutered, but you didn’t think he’d be interested in you!
It's almost everyday he tries to get in your pants! Gotta hand it to him, he’s really persistent.
Well, you won’t be taking any of his nonsense today!
“Satoru! Breakfast!” You yell out. You hear him scurrying around the corner, jeez food fein.
“Heh, mm waffles..” He purrs at your feet, nuzzling against the back of your knee.
He wraps his tail around your ankle, hands gently kneading at your leg. Nose twitching at the sugary smells.
“You hungry, sweetie?” You coo, petting the big oafs head.
Awh, maybe you’re being too harsh on him. He’s your baby, he doesn’t know any better!
˗ˏˋ — ˎˊ˗
Oh who were you kidding, of course he knows what he’s doing! Why are you so gullible?
What was supposed to be a nice, calm, peaceful, non-sexual breakfast, ends up with your mischievous kitty munching on your pussy instead!
He’s got your legs up, knees having small-talk to your shoulders whilst he —quite literally— devours you.
“Satoruuu!— don’t do thaah! Oh!” You squeak. You weakly push on his head, trying to get him away from your front.
Unfortunately, Satoru is a determined cat.
“Mnn, be still. M’ hungry.” He purrs between your legs, the vibrations of his voice send tingles up your spine.
For Satoru, that delicious nectar leaking out of you is heavenly. Until this thin, pathetic piece of fabric ruins his meal. If only he could just…
rripp!
“H-huh? S’toru! Those were expensiveee— haa!” You scold. well, try to. It’s hard to speak when you’re literally breathless.
He tongues at your now naked pussy, slurping all that gooey goodness you so graciously produce. So sweet.
He pulls back, your cunt and his mouth connected by a sloppy string of spit. He coo’s and presses a kiss hard against your clit, making you twitch and moan.
Out of the corner of your eye you see the devil incarnate smiling so sweetly, his tail curling around your ankle. What was once a sweet gesture is now no longer reassuring.
Your ‘innocent’ kitty now has free rein to your more… primal parts. The stronger scent pulls on Satoru’s will, he whines at the sudden, yet aggressive urge to bury himself inside you.
Hmm maybe he should.
Hoisting himself up, Satoru leans back on his calves, admiring the little mess he’s made of you. Flushed red, panting, drooling, and completely high on the pleasure. His pants tighten.
He’s been blessed with such a cute owner!
˗ˏˋ — ˎˊ˗
Plap! Plap! Plap!
“Haa— d’aww don’t be so shy, master. Heh—fhuck!” Said the devil incarnate, mockingly.
Satoru is a condescending bunch, cute but really full of himself. It’s shows in his way of fucking.
He has you on your back, legs resting on his broad shoulders as he literally folds you in half. Your head is just reeling, your face is covered in his spit, hairline all sweaty, jaw hanging open, and you're burning all over!
His cock is big, too big. It nearly split you in half when he tried to fit it in. He’s never been a patient kitty.
“Awhhh— masterrrr, you’re tightenin’ up sho’ muchhh…” He purrs. Tail swaying mockingly.
Leaning forward, Satoru nuzzles his ears against your cheek, wanting to be pet.
Unfortunately, you’re incoherent to his requests. Too focused on the harsh rutting of his cock into your sticky cunt.
“Heyyy… pet meee,” He whines, “Hm? Heh— tappin’ out already?” His eyes gleam with mischievous-ness as he grins a toothy grin. You’re not gonna make it out alive.
He bites his lip, giggling at your pleasured face. If only he could take a picture, save this moment forever. He cups your face, caressing your sweaty cheeks, then presses a loving kiss to your lips.
“Mwah! Hehe— you’re so cute,” He whispers against your lips.
In midst of this somewhat sweet moment, the pace of Satoru rolling his hips against you increases. Then turning into him full on slamming his hips into yours, huffing as he focuses on pounding you into next week.
All you can do is grip onto him, tugging on his ears. He moans pornographically, drooling as you harshly grip his sensitive ears. The painful yet pleasant sensation sparks something new in Satoru.
With the intent to breed, Satoru turns you over. His chest to your back as he leans his weight on you, arms wrapping tightly around your sweaty skin.
This new position gives Satoru a better chance at giving you some cute mini him’s!
“Oh! Oh!—Toruuu’!” You squeal, tears now brimming in your eyes at the overwhelming feeling that is undoubtedly him.
Without warning, you cum. Hole clenching and spasming and coating his lower body in a translucent liquid.
“Hm—hah— I knew you wan—ahn—wanted me!” He mewls, quickly pounding in and out, creating a wet ‘schlick!’ sound.
Oh you’re so perverted! Letting your precious kitty take you like this!
You’ll never live this down.
Satoru doesn’t seem to care.
“Oooh— m’ cumming, nng— masterrr!” He moans, non-stop humping into your creamy pussy, drooling all over you.
“Not—not insideee! Toru’!” You cry out, pushing your hips back to get him off of you, it does the opposite.
His tail wraps around your thigh as he cums. It splurts frantically inside of you, his cock twitching violently as he whines in pleasure.
It’s hot, sticky and definitely a thick load. It feels endless, liquidy rope after rope. But it feels so refreshing.
He pulls out (you didn’t think he would), nuzzling and purring at the nape of your neck. Innocently licking at your tear-stricken cheeks.
…
It’s been so long since you last experienced this pleasure.
You’ll definitely regret this later.
˗ˏˋ — ˎˊ˗
Oh god, why did you do that!
Having sex with a hybrid is just a different type of low, even for you!
Oh jeez, you're just as perverted as him! Oh whywhywhywhy! He was just supposed to be a companion! Not a—
“Mrr, pet meee..” Satoru whines, pawning at your chest. He’s back to his old self again.
Mostly. He’s become more… confident in his abilities over you. Let’s just say after your regrettable (not in his eyes) playtime with him, he has no restraint on mounting you now. The idiots even started humping you in public!
Which is why you’ve been leaving him at home.
Now more than ever, you two spend a lot of time together. Mostly consisting of naps, him licking you, more naps, eating… recreational activities, blah blah blah. He now sleeps on your bed, he’s more like an overstayed one night stand than an exotic cat.
At Least he’s extra cuddly!
#.toru#hybrid satoru#snowleopard!gojo#hybrid!gojo#gojo x y/n#satoru gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojou satoru x reader#satoru gojo#gojo headcanons#gojo smut#gojo x reader#jjk gojo#gojo satoru#jjk x reader#jjk headcanons#jjk smut#hybrid jjk
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Hhhhhh
#thinking about werewolf boy#sorry to everyone. I'm being Normal and Gay again#he's so so so so sweet and gentle and it's So funny when i pick him up#he likes being carried but he's also like. twice my size and he Will Not jump enough to actually sit above my hips so i can properly hold#him. so it's a bit of an ordeal and it takes me a minute to adjust properly but he's so so so so so cute#and his face is really hard for me to draw but i like trying anyway cause its soft and nice and his and cute and pretty#and he's so so so so so so so so so so so nice and good to hug and his jacket is falling apart but we're working on it Slowly But Surely#(slowly. really slowly) and idkkkkkkkk im just. hhhhhhhhhh#the dentist better not do cosmetic shit to his teeth I don't like the idea of him having perfect teeth it's Incorrect#my lip piercings will get stuck between his teeth sometimes. i think that says more about the difference in scale between us than anything#actually. idk he's So So So cute though and everyone is a bit sick of me gushing about him and how much i love him#i hate hyper fixating on people cause it makes everyone around me kinda annoued or feel like im ignoring them or smth but it's also#sometimes really nice to be Fixated On Something. eben if that something is this guy with a torn up jacket who got banned from your house
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Back off,kid.
Pairing : Gojo Satoru x Reader
Note ₊˚⊹♡ : (Teen)Gojo is jealous over (kid) Fushiguro having a crush on you.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6d235f5a3c151385b1209e1113d871b7/41d7e71850e36d60-05/s540x810/0bfb08697b26bb33a631c673f3e323740330e43a.jpg)
Fushiguro Megumi always wonders if he made the right choice every time a white-haired sunglass wearing teenager walks into the house.
The tall older boy would grin as his hands form a salute. “You doing good Megumi and Tsumiki?”
He was as useful as the indoor plants. Fushiguro thought.
Gojo wasn’t much good at cooking and neither helped with cleaning, probably because of his rich background—but he did spoil them with lots of food and pocket money but he wouldn’t ever admit that.
As much as Fushiguro would love to throw insults at Gojo, he holds back his tongue each time; Tsumiki would send sharp glare and nag him if he did.
The first friend he brought to visit them was a girl; it was after Gojo went missing for a while and when Tsumiki inquired about it ,he simply said one of his dear friend went cray-cray as his finger twirls at the temple of his head.
The girl had short, brown hair with a distinct smell of cigarette; her name was Shoko Ieiri. She wore an impressed look when she entered the house as she looked over to Gojo. “Heh— The place is pretty neat,Gojo.”
Fushiguro looked to Gojo who placed some groceries on the counter top with a proud smile on his face. “I know right!” Gojo replies.
The young boy frowns. “It’s Tsumiki who keeps the place clean.” Shoko gives Gojo a stare before she cackles.
A week later when Tsumiki was still in school with club activities, another person makes an appearance ,you. He could faintly hear conversations between you and Gojo through the front door on how you’d actually wanted to visit them sooner but was bombarded with mission before it swings open.
The first thing Fushiguro noticed was how Gojo seemed to make you enter first— other times he barges in without a care for Shoko— his hands near your back with a slight space, without touching it. Why was Gojo being nice?
You blink at the dark haired boy. “Fushiguro Megumi, right?” Gojo peers from behind as you smile. “Did you eat?”
“Not yet. Waiting for Tsumiki to get home.” Fushiguro thinks you’re the first person who is kind of decent.
You nod take plastic bag from Gojo’s hands and lift up it, your smile widen. “I’ll make you some good stuff then.”
“I want to eat your cooking too,y/n.” Gojo chirps in only to be ignored. And to your credit, it was actually good. He didn’t remember the last time he had something this good home made.
After that, your visits seemed to increase which Fushiguro Megumi did not mind, in fact he was getting fond of your presence. You helped with food, cleaning which lessened the load on Tsumiki plus you also helped him with his studies.
“You seemed to get it now, Megumi.” Poor kid, blushes a bit hearing your compliment. “Practice this set of questions and I think you’ll do pretty well on your tests.” You smile.
Fushiguro nods as he does as you say, face still heated up. He looks up at you, who was reading a book. Your hair slightly in your face, lips slightly parted with eyes focused. You were extremely beautiful and as much as he wouldn’t admit it , he had a big fat kid crush on you.
“Megumi-chan.” Suddenly he is shoved to the side as a body makes way in between you and him. It was Gojo who sat in between. “Move over~ This seat is mine.”
The boy frowns and so did you, not liking Gojo’s action. “Don’t interrupt the kid, who is studying.” Kid? Ouch…You huff as your move over, despite you complaining you make space for him, focus back on your book.
Fushiguro watched as Gojo leans closer to you, almost resting his head on your neck as he looked over to your book; after a while eyes slowly moved over to you, his expression softens.
Gojo smiles as he tugs a piece of hair behind your hair, to which you don’t react as if it was normal. Thee older man then turns his head to Fushiguro—oops,he got caught staring.
The white haired boy then grins, a condescending one in fact as he mouths out the following words.
‘y/n-is-mine.” Fushiguro huffs. ‘back-off.”
·:*¨༺ Part 2༻¨*:·
Reblogs, like and comment are appreciated! Love this work? out other here
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen imagine#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojou satoru x reader#gojo x reader#gojo imagines#gojo imagine#gojo satoru imagine#gojo satoru x reader#gojo fluff#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro imagine
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