#also hiii if you read my tags this far

[comicdez]

and then he got a school as an apology yay !

[melancoley]

WHAT MOVES THE WORLD

SYNOPSIS: when you’re born into a burning house, you think the entire world is on fire – that was kakashi’s reality. always surrounded by fragments of war, kakashi grew up with only the purpose of surviving beating in his heart. for him, nothing else existed in the world but war – that was kakashi’s philosophy. until you showed up. and, like spring, you came with the promise of hope and warmth and ended up bringing an inevitable change that would forever alter the life, and heart, of hatake kakashi.

PAIRING: hatake kakashi x gn!reader WORD COUNT: 5.811.

TAGS: soulmate!au, strangers to lover(s), fast-paced, unrequited love, kinda miscommunication. angst, fluff, hurt/no-comfort. CONTENT: gloomy kid kakashi. confused young-adult kakashi. heartbroken adult kakashi. shinobi reader. you are full of life & love talking to kakashi. conversations about stars, wars & love. he is the captain of your team one time.

WARNINGS: mention of sakumo's death but nothing explicit. you are going to break kakashi's heart, so be ready.

COLE'S NOTE: hiii, miss me? ♡ so !! this fic was originally a request and i posted this on my previous blog - if it sounds familiar, maybe u read the old version: ‘war & love’. i did some changes here and there to turn ur reading more pleasant and i hope i did a good job lol also !!! chou made one fanart based on this fic - i suggest u check it out after reading this, it's really pretty, u gonna love it !! ♡ have fun breaking hearts ♡

Not all stories are happy.

Not all soulmates are reciprocal.

Not all people could change their destiny.

Of course, in a perfect world, one person’s soulmate would also be another person’s soulmate. But reality went far beyond fairy tales and, as such, not all soulmates were mutual – and a person only knew their destiny when it was too late.

For years, people woke up with words tattooed on their wrists. They were simple, small words, just for the purpose of summarizing people’s love lives with their true love.

There were the luckier ones who woke up with little ‘fulfilled’ or ‘happily ever after’ on their wrists after their wedding. There were also those who had little ‘close call’ or ‘don’t try again’ written on their wrists on the coldest nights. And there were also those that read painfully ‘not destined’ or even ‘maybe in a next life’ that caused an inexplicable burning in the eyes of those who received such words. There were those who liked it, there were those who didn’t mind a mere tattoo and there were also those who did everything to force a soulmate into their lives.

The reality is that a person’s tattoo was already inscribed on them from the moment their soul found a body, always wanting to arrive at the right time to make itself noticed. And that was why no one could change their destiny.

But none of that matter. None of that mattered one bit to Kakashi. Because he only had one thing in mind: becoming strong and reliable. Kakashi didn’t care about dating or romance. Kakashi just wanted to do his duty as a shinobi.

But, of course, no matter how much he didn’t want to know, no matter how much he showed he didn’t want to know, his father was always attentive to him, always wanting to make him even minimally interested in the subject. After all, parents only wanted the best for their children.

And that was why Sakumo forced Kakashi to sit next to him on that cold, foggy morning.

“Kakashi, there is beauty in the midst of all this chaos.”

Sakumo’s voice was lost amid the fog, a phrase of pure harmony and delicacy trying to find its way in the thick maze of clouds and trees that invaded the territory.

There was a pause.

Kakashi didn’t deign to respond – he knew perfectly well where this conversation would end, he knew perfectly well what awaited him.

“The world is not driven by war alone.”

“Dad…”

Kakashi let a long and monotonous sigh escape his small lips, muffled by the dark mask, trapped inside the fabric without being able to show his total dissatisfaction.

“Not again. I have class in a bit.”

Kakashi stood up carefully and a little hesitantly. The truth is he didn’t want to leave his father alone. Kakashi didn’t want to abandon him once again at the mercy of fairy tales that did nothing but deceive a person.

However, Sakumo gave him no other choice. The cheap repetition of stories and princesses and kings became tiring – there was no longer any surprise in his father’s speech, there was no longer any hope for Kakashi.

As such, he was determined to abandon his father sooner than expected, his little feet taking short, uncertain steps to get away from his father, to get away from yet another unwanted conversation.

“Kakashi, why do you think there is war?”

Kakashi stopped his step with some abruptness.

That simple question from Sakumo echoed strongly inside Kakashi’s head, causing small dizziness in his mind where several possible answers appeared without any invitation, assaulting the little child’s sanity, making him question everything.

Why does war exist?

Of course, the main answer focused on people’s inability to be able to communicate with each other. There was also that need to come out and show their disgusting egos – that is the second answer to that question.

But there was something more.

There had to be something more.

People didn’t start wars just because they were bored.

…

Right?

Throughout his small and short existence, Kakashi has lived in a world of war and from an early age he was trained and taught to live and survive amidst so much devastation and anguish. Kakashi’s entire existence was shaped around the thick and aggressive sphere of what moved the world – war.

Would he have to know why?

In reality, Kakashi didn’t care if someone wanted to conquer the world, or if someone was kidnapped or killed unleashing days and months and years of pure destruction. Kakashi only had the mission to fight the war – that was all that mattered. Now the reason?

“I don’t care. Certainly the origin of all wars has an illogical basis. I have to stop the war. I don’t need to know why it started.”

Sakumo smiled and let his son go on his way, slowly losing sight of him as he began to be consumed by the fog.

Sakumo’s lips formed a perfect smile, a smile that left a trail of sadness with it because he knew perfectly well what was going to happen that day – Sakumo couldn’t really smile, not when he knew the end was near.

But there was something else hidden in his smile.

No matter how loud the voices screamed in his mind, the reality was that Sakumo feared for his son. Sakumo feared that Kakashi would never experience the beautiful pleasures of love as he himself had once experienced.

And there was nothing to do. There was nothing to do when Kakashi only focused on the human intellect. There was nothing to do when Kakashi purposely denied all the emotions that moved the world. There was simply nothing to do.

And Sakumo kept smiling.

His cold fingers gently stroked a small ‘there will be more in the next life’ that was fading due to the passage of time.

Several memories of a short and intense love began to haunt him in such a way that Sakumo didn’t even notice when the sadness on his lips turned into hope.

That hadn’t been the last life with his beloved – Sakumo knew that.

Then, muttering the answer to the question he himself asked his son, Sakumo stood up as well.

He knew perfectly well that there would be a second chance for his love. He knew perfectly well that Kakashi would realize the reality of the world they lived in. He knew perfectly well that everything would end well.

After all, there has never been a war without love.

Kakashi had lost everything.

There was nothing left for someone so young.

At fourteen, Kakashi’s entire life fell apart before his own eyes. Without family or friends, without anyone who could support him, he had lost everything – including his way in this world. Kakashi was wandering through the days, lost on the path of life, with no knowledge of maps or no guides that could help him.

Kakashi had lost everything, until he gained a new friendship, a new hope.

You appeared with the arrival of spring. Uncertain and always encouraging steps, an enormous desire for knowledge to be noticed in the intense shine of your sweet eyes, and wide smiles enchanting anyone.

You brought with you the breath of fresh air that prevailed at that time of year. Your feet encouraged so many beautiful flowers to bloom, new lives were created by you, new paths were drawn by your bare feet. The innocence of someone who had not yet experienced the evils of the world painted your smile with an extra tenderness that gave your cheekbones small splashes of the passion that the sun felt for you.

That spring day, when Kakashi saw you leaning over a hollow log, you carried something more than pure curiosity and amusement in your fingertips. You brought with you the hope of a new life for Kakashi, a hope that was felt by him when he, very clumsily, stopped you from rolling with the log to the bottom of the cliff.

Quickly, like someone blowing a leaf, something formed between you. A friendship? Probably. It was hard to be sure with Kakashi. But whatever you and he shared, you both knew it was something unique, something true.

A new stage in both of your lives was discovered in the other’s presence, a vast and longing wave of feelings beginning to form in you.

There was complicity between the both of you.

Since your first meeting next to that log, you and Kakashi shared an enviable complicity. Each one understood the other without the need to exchange words. A simple look, a simple sign, was enough for one to be understood by the other.

Days were spent together. Little secrets were exchanged amidst laughter and sighs, two distinct lives were soaked in pure melancholy, drenched in an extreme longing for a long-lost past.

And your adolescence has never looked so beautiful in the eyes of others.

Before you knew it, you and Kakashi have reached adulthood. And what used to be so simple and natural now seemed complicated with so many glances and hidden smiles and that hint of desire that clung to every word you exchanged.

Quickly, like someone forming a smile, beyond that very natural friendship, something more emerged between you. Something deeper began to emerge between the two of you.

“I don’t understand people’s admiration for the stars.”

You stretched a little as you sat next to Kakashi, the red blanket you always carried protecting you from the cold wind of that autumn night. “It’s something that has existed since the beginning of time. There are maps and photographs of them everywhere. Why the fascination?”

“It’s like war.”

The rest of your team rested silently on the ground, wrapped and cozy by a small fire starting by you, the tranquility of a successful mission being noted by their deep and steady breaths.

You and Kakashi were relaxing on one of the many branches of the most colorful and sturdy tree near your camp, your vision completely focused on the vast starry sky and the faint line of the horizon painted by the small mountains covered in snow.

There was silence on the ground and there was silence in the tree branches.

The breeze had been encouraged by several clouds venturing along unknown paths, giving you a little privacy on that very welcoming night. The moon was small, gaining strength for a more special date, slowly feeding on the desire of the most melancholy people who wrote to her. Every animal in the forest slept near you, the heat of the fire that crackled so loudly convincing the most diverse living beings to truly rest that night – except you and Kakashi.

“The war?”

You couldn’t contain the laughter that formed inside you, a sound so melodious and innocent that it woke up nature itself for a brief moment. The breeze had returned to you only to take with it the pure sound you released, keeping among the various clouds and stars the memory of your innocent question and laugh.

“How does the fascination of the stars compare to the war?”

“Humans can’t live without them.”

Kakashi was leaning against the trunk reading one of his typical books. None of his words were of the slightest interest. His uncovered eye cautiously read each line of the book. And he just waited for an answer. He waited for your curiosity. He waited for you.

“My dear Kakashi, I live well without both. Does that make me non-human?”

Kakashi let a long, amused sigh escape his lips and grab the echo of your new laugh. By closing the book and adopting a posture more favorable to a conversation, Kakashi let his movements continue over time.

The relaxing crackle of the fire calmly accompanied your team captain’s gestures as you fixed your eyes on Kakashi in the vain hope of encouraging him to speak or, at the very least, to hurry up.

However, there was no rush in Kakashi’s movements – all the time he took to sit next to you and stare at the stars seemed like an eternity to you.

But finally, Kakashi spoke.

“Of course you live well without both. But would you be the same person you are if they didn’t exist? Would you be complete if they didn’t exist?”

“Are you insinuating that we humans need to have stars and wars to be real?”

It seemed like an outrage. What Kakashi had just insinuated to you seemed to be wrapped in a thick layer of blasphemy and nonsense. The indignation at those words was reflected in the way you looked at the various leaves that framed Kakashi in an ethereal casing of change.

What was once a peaceful setting has now become a stage for nature. Strong winds and thick clouds slowly began to appear, hoping they could continue listening to Kakashi’s thoughts. Small nocturnal birds greeted you shyly with sweet and tender melodies that spread through the sleeping forest and made you smile.

“It’s what moves us.”

“I’m sorry,” you let out a fake laugh as you composed yourself on the tree branch.

You turned to Kakashi and focused your attention on his relaxed posture. Curiosity was caught in your eyes, and an eagerness to prolong that conversation could be seen in the way you so firmly and enthusiastically pronounced the words. “But I still don’t follow your reasoning.”

“A’right, let’s go step by step.”

“Please.”

Kakashi let out a small, almost inaudible laugh at your tender plea.

His eyes were now resting on your very curious posture: your arms adjusted the red blanket to also shelter Kakashi on that cold night; your eyes sparkled with the enthusiasm of yet another conversation with your best friend; your smile warmed Kakashi more than any blanket or fire could do.

“The stars, yea? We all know that since ancient times they have been the cause of all happiness and pain for people. People in ancient civilizations worshiped the stars as gods and saw in them countless stories and life lessons. And the very own people of those civilizations used the stars and their positions for agriculture and to make decisions. Are you following?”

“Yes, professor.”

You let out another laugh as you placed your legs over Kakashi’s and gently slid closer to him. The night was getting cold, the fire was on the ground and all you had was a red blanket and Kakashi.

And how he thanked all the gods for wearing a mask and for the moon being lazy that night. For, the pink tone he quickly adopted when he felt you so close to him only revealed how much he was waiting for that action of yours.

“So…”

A brief moment of silence followed after Kakashi’s statement.

Your captain’s reasoning was lost with your innocent act. It was a simple, affectionate gesture, something that had been repeated so many times. And, like every other time, Kakashi simply lost any coordination – the feeling of having you so close to him was fantastic, almost magical.

Thus, a brief moment of silence followed as Kakashi tried to find the thread of his thought, as Kakashi tried to grasp that thread without losing the very welcoming feeling of having you close to him.

“So,” he repeated again, his posture always relaxed and carefree, the mask being the perfect hiding place for his rosy face. “People adopted these little habits from their ancestors and that’s why there are so many people who still marvel at the stars. Of course, all romantics are also enchanted by them.”

“Why?”

Pause. Silence. Contemplation.

Why? In fact, that was always the question you asked. That was always the question that made sense to ask. Indeed, why?

Kakashi stared at the stars, trying to understand why. You stared at Kakashi, waiting for him to answer why.

But the answer never came. The answer never showed up and beautified your ears with sweet justifications and immaculate logic. For, realizing that there really wasn’t a defined reason for that question, Kakashi continued his reasoning.

Your captain’s voice was drawn out and always monotonous as if it were perpetually stuck in a timbre that conveyed a vast sense of comfort.

And you listened carefully to every word Kakashi said. You listened attentively to everything he had to say, always trying hard to follow his thoughts.

“Now the war.”

Kakashi paused briefly and took a deep breath.

A sigh that seemed to be filled with tiredness escaped his lips without realizing it – the memories of conversations he had with his father were felt at that exact moment. And they weighed. They weighed so much.

“War has always existed. Since the beginning of humanity there has been war. No wars, no humans. It is in our condition as human beings – it is our need. We crave destruction. We seek chaos. It’s in us. We need war to move us. Because, quite simply, we are the war. Without it, what would we do? Who would we be? That’s why there is fascination with it. That’s why there’s so much admiration. War is the stars of the most political. And the stars are the war of the most romantic.”

“So, by that logic, love is the war of the most philosophical.”

Kakashi looked at you with confusion expressed in his eye. The various and infinite stars reflected in Kakashi’s gaze showed that, in fact, he had not understood the use of your words.

Why did you decide to grab love out of nowhere?

Why did you decide to bring that taboo into the middle of a conversation that was so special to both of you?

Why?

You noticed the confusion in Kakashi’s lack of reaction. You realized that there must be doubt in your captain’s thoughts. Looking at Kakashi, it was easy to decipher the confusion he felt and you were intrigued, fascinated even.

“Do you really think that it is only war that moves the world?”

Kakashi opened his mouth but you didn’t know.

Kakashi closed his mouth again and you didn’t even notice.

In your captain’s mind, that last conversation he had with his father began to replay endlessly. Sakumo’s words came up whenever that dangerous topic was brought up – it seemed that Sakumo’s cheap philosophies tormented Kakashi until that day.

But it wasn’t always like that – no.

From the moment Kakashi met you, Sakumo’s haunting finally ceased.

There was no need to understand love because, quite simply, and even though he didn’t know it, Kakashi was experiencing that feeling so strong, so true. There was no need to recall a conversation that tried to explain something he was feeling, even though he couldn’t decipher that specific something.

Therefore, for several years, Sakumo’s words that were imbued with understanding and affection had been forgotten, completely erased from Kakashi’s memory.

No. Wrong. The words were still there, safe, inside Kakashi’s heart.

And it only took your question, your question so similar to Sakumo’s question, to free the words and torment Kakashi again.

“Kashi?”

You let out a laugh.

Kakashi certainly knew there was something more than war. He positively knew that not everything was destruction or contempt in this world. He had to know there was beauty and hope. He had to know that there was something good in this world. Kakashi had to know all this – right?

“Love?”

The word burned in Kakashi’s mouth, his melancholic eye locked in your eyes, the reflection of the universe trapped in your fingertips.

“Love.”

Your response came with a real, genuine smile. Your eyes showed a light and tenuous sadness while a tiny hope threatened to collapse at any moment.

You spoke like love itself. Delicate and light, your lips pronounced that word with precision and extreme ease.

You spoke like love itself. Your smile was genuine and embellished by the infinite stars, painted by the cool night breeze. Your eyes were sad, scared and fearful of the drastic change of an event, of a feeling.

You spoke like love itself. You spoke in a mix of emotions that were foreign to Kakashi, a thick ball of feelings and memories was trapped in your expression and made Kakashi feel confused.

You spoke like love itself, but Kakashi could only speak like war.

Kakashi spoke like war itself. Without any feeling, afraid of what his lips could utter, scared of the strength of the word itself.

Kakashi spoke like war itself. His every word and thought was completely calculated by him, no mistake to be uttered by Kakashi, the doubt that escaped his lips bringing a bit of wisdom.

Kakashi spoke like war itself. Kakashi spoke knowing perfectly well what awaited him, he spoke knowing perfectly well the answer to his question.

And between war and love there was a brief moment of silence. A moment of tranquility brought by the infinite stars.

Between war and love there was a moment of serenity that was heard only by your careful breathing, your gaze locked on each other, your smile slowly fading as time passed.

Love.

Was that the answer to his father’s question? No. It couldn’t be something so simple like that – but there was no such thing as simplicity in love.

“Love.”

Kakashi said his statement again, allowing a fragile and invisible line to escape his mask and take with it the bruning of that word.

There was something comforting in your gaze, something soothing in the way you held the blanket tight to you. There was something serene in the way you rested your legs on Kakashi’s, something welcoming in the way you and him stood together under that starry sky.

“Love” – Kakashi never found it easier to pronounce that word.

Days without you were boring.

Everyone knew that whenever you were on a mission without being on Kakashi’s team, he would roam the streets of the village like he used to do before he met you. Everyone knew that, for Kakashi, days without you simply didn’t make sense, not when you and he had already become fully accustomed to each other’s presence.

And that day wasn’t much different from the others.

Kakashi walked through the streets calmly. His feet shuffled without any energy, one of his hands sheltered in his pants pocket, the other holding a book close to his face.

Kakashi didn’t pay attention to what he was reading or where he was walking. Having already read and reread that book so many times, having already walked those streets countless times, Kakashi didn’t need to pay attention – because something else occupied his mind.

Your mission was somewhat complicated and you left with a good team, yes. But Kakashi couldn’t trust them, not when your integrity could be at risk – Kakashi could only worry about you.

A melancholy trail was left by Kakashi’s short and relaxed steps.

His eyes read and reread the same page over and over as his mind wandered to so many possible scenarios that could happen to you.

How he hated being away from you at a scary time like that.

Kakashi had been your team captain enough times for him to know you knew how to take care of yourself. But you were also distracted and that was what bothered Kakashi. A distraction from you, an ambush from them, a misfortune from the universe – everything seemed plausible when he was away from you.

He just wanted to be with you, to hear from you, to know that you were okay. He had to be with you.

But regardless of whether or not you managed to get home safe and sound, Kakashi spent his days monotonously without you by his side.

Even though Guy continued to make his occasional appearances, enticing Kakashi into meaningless duels; even though Naruto and Sakura could fill a fragment of the void you created; even though he knew you would be back next week, the reality is that Kakashi simply couldn’t live the days in your absence.

Not since that night under the starry sky. Not when the confession of a love came out disguised in a novice and somewhat shaky pronunciation.

What could Kakashi do? Just wandering around the village without your company. Just wishing every day was shorter than the last. Just peacefully wait for your arrival.

“Today I received my words!”

Naruto was always so loud.

Kakashi lazily looked up from his book and watched Naruto talk excitedly to Sakura and Shikamaru. The smiles they shared with each other were big, contagious, as if enticing Kakashi to also let out a small smile.

“Hinata is my soulmate!”

“I got mine during the war. It was Ino who noticed,” Sakura let out a small laugh as she recalled her chaotic reactions when she discovered that Sasuke was, in fact, the man the universe had destined for her. “What about you, Shikamaru?”

“Nothin’.”

A small sigh escaped Shikamaru’s lips and brought with it the hope of not having to worry about a soulmate anytime soon.

“What about you, Kakashi-sensei?”

“I don’t pay attention to that.”

A shrug was enough to direct the conversation back to Shikamaru.

But Kakashi kept thinking. Without realizing it, all the younger’s’ speeches were obstructed with the thought that, perhaps, Kakashi had already received his words.

It was true that Kakashi avoided looking at his wrist – since that night, the mere thought of love scared him.

Once, Kakashi simply didn’t care about something as trivial as love. The mere thought of such a feeling brought only haunting of long, uninteresting conversations with his father. But now, after that night, there was fear in the feeling. There was an extra fear that burned in Kakashi’s heart when he allowed himself the luxury of thinking about something as dangerous as love.

Ever since that night, the mere thought of love scared Kakashi because, quite simply, Kakashi couldn’t imagine that word without picturing you.

And Kakashi blamed you. Yes, you. You were the bringer of Kakashi’s destruction. Because, since that night, Kakashi really started to see the world differently. And he blamed you. He blamed that word. He blamed all the stars.

But had any mark already been engraved on his wrist?

Leaving conversations and laughter behind, Kakashi returned home.

A single goal was stuck in his mind. A single need ran through his heart. A single feeling moved Kakashi. Love.

The four walls of Kakashi’s room had never felt as cozy as they did at that moment.

It was the end of the day.

The last rays of sunlight were lost in Kakashi’s room. Shades of gold and hope burned fiercely in the three frames that rested delicately on his little furniture. Your face and Kakashi’s were adorned with light celestial tones from the last ray of sunlight, enhancing the joy and comfort that that photograph brought to Kakashi.

Night fell so quickly that it didn’t even give the sun a chance to warm Kakashi’s room.

It was cold.

The proud and bright moon contrasted with the weakness of that night, the stars taking the night off to give the various and diverse clouds their turn to shine.

There was darkness and there was cold.

In the midst of that discomfort, Kakashi looked for some warmth in his wrists.

His right wrist had nothing on it – the pale skin brought a bit of disappointment to him.

But there was still hope. There was still a second chance.

Cautiously taking off his left glove, Kakashi saw a single word shining in the moonlight.

‘Almost’.

Almost?

Kakashi’s mouth opened slightly on impulse as his eyes repeatedly read and reread that single word that was carved into his wrist.

How long had it been there? How long ago did fate decide to steal you from him? Almost? Why ‘almost’? Hadn’t his confession that night been enough for you? Wouldn’t the vulnerability with which he uttered and repeated that forbidden word have been enough for both of you? Almost. Almost? Why? Could he have done something? Could he have done nothing?

A wave of corruption completely washed away any and all hope Kakashi might have had. The curiosity that once drove Kakashi’s gestures was entirely replaced by regret and frustration.

Could he go back? Could he do something to change that word?

Surely if you arrived and he confessed everything he wanted and felt for you, maybe you would reciprocate his words.

No. Not ‘maybe’. Kakashi was sure there was reciprocity. That night left no doubt. The way you two spoke, the way you looked at each other, the way you pronounced the forbidden word.

Yes. There was definitely still a little hope, even if it was small. And Kakashi knew, as years of war had taught him, that hope would always be the last to die. Surely the same applied to love. Right? – you said it yourself: love is the war of the most philosophical.

Yes. Hope.

‘Almost’ wasn’t the word Kakashi had chosen to dictate his fate, no. It was ‘hope’.

 Clinging to that small flame that had quickly lit in Kakashi’s heart, he watched the remaining days pass slowly and wistfully.

Kakashi just wanted you to come back as soon as possible. He just wanted to cheat fate once and for all and grab the happiness he had been so deprived of. Would it be too much to ask?

‘Almost’. Pathetic.

‘Almost’. Of course it wasn’t almost – Kakashi would never allow it to be ‘almost’.

And when you arrived, Kakashi carried the war with him – he was determined to change his destiny, even though he was scared. There was determination in his steps, Kakashi’s eyes so empty conveying a bit of uncertainty, of fear, of regret in actions he should have done long ago.

Waiting for you for so long only gave Kakashi permission to think, to ponder all the opportunities that were missed by him in fear of a confession made of decent words – he could make a list of all the waste that was lost.

The ‘almost’ was right.

Years passed – Kakashi should have known better. He had so many books about it, he should have known better. It wasn’t enough to just say a complicated word. It was not enough to just feel a complex feeling. Kakashi had to show – and Kakashi never showed.

But now Kakashi was determined to change that. Kakashi was determined to change his destiny.

Just like war, Kakashi came to you without any warning.

Just like war, Kakashi caught you unnoticed in a spontaneous embrace of longing and nostalgia. It was rare for Kakashi to express his love, but you couldn’t deny that it was something that always made you smile.

You hugged Kakashi back, your arms fitting perfectly around his body, the way his strong arms squeezed you in a comforting embrace making you more relaxed. Although you had already arrived at the village two days ago, it was at that moment that you truly felt at home.

“How’s the mission?”

That wasn’t the question Kakashi wanted to ask – it wasn’t what he had rehearsed.

But you started a long, drawn-out monologue about all the ups and downs of that mission that lasted almost two weeks. A rollercoaster of emotions was reported by you as Kakashi listened attentively to every word out of your mouth.

And, while he listened to you, he looked intently at your arms.

Kakashi’s empty eyes searched for tattoos made by the stars. The curiosity to know your fate was what moved Kakashi’s eyes and forced him to look at your body.

Until finally he saw it.

‘It was close’.

It was close?

What absurd words had fate given you? It didn’t make sense.

Was it close that you didn’t end up with Kakashi? Was it close that you fell into someone else’s love trap? What did those words mean? What did they mean in a vast sea of ​​possibilities?

“And I got my tattoo on the way here.”

You extended your arm and gave Kakashi permission to read your mark better.

‘It was close’.

“I was confused by what it meant. But it made sense when I found…”

“Him?”

Him.

Kakashi knew who you were talking about.

You didn’t need to confess names or draw portraits with your words. Kakashi always knew who you were talking about, because he was the one you loved before you met Kakashi, and he was the one you loved during the early days of your friendship with Kakashi.

“Yea.”

The smile you let out reminded Kakashi of love: shy and so happy, a hint of accomplishment displayed in the beautiful curves of your lips, a sense of comfort trapped in your confession.

Love.

Damn you.

“He walk with me to the village and is staying here. Today we’re going to our first date.”

And that’s when Kakashi realized – no one could change their destiny.

With a fake smile and forced curiosity, Kakashi allowed you to nail long, painful barbs into his heart, erasing any hope he still had left, completely staining the forbidden word for Kakashi.

With a fake smile and tears trapped in his eyes, Kakashi allowed your happiness to flood his darkness, little stars of your joy faintly painting Kakashi’s pain.

Because, yes. Despite everything, Kakashi was happy.

Even though he would be happier with you, Kakashi was happy for you.

You overflowed with love.

Extreme happiness wrapped in a film of euphoria delicately filled your room. Your eyes shone with the emotion of a love about to be lived. Your wide smile managed to be contagious, even though Kakashi didn’t want to smile.

You were the embodiment of love.

You were hope and comfort from the first day he met you and he hated you for it.

Kakashi hated you because he knew he would never be able to find someone who had as much of an impact as you did. He would never be able to find someone who made the word ‘love’ mean as much as you did.

It was the way you spoke so happily about each other. It was the way you still cared about Kakashi like you still liked him. It was your own way of being.

You were kindness and simplicity hidden behind a strong sphere of complexity.

You were, undeniably, love.

And the conversation that night never made as much sense as it did at that moment.

In Kakashi’s realization, in the midst of all the suffering caused by you, you continued to move Kakashi. The way you still made Kakashi eager to see you. The way your company was still, and always would be, crucial to Kakashi. The way he still loved you after you caused him so much anguish.

You have always been the personification of the word love. And, just like the feeling itself, it was you who moved Kakashi’s world.

♡ feedback is always welcomed ♡

[navstuffs]

Secret Admirer

Pairing: Leon Kennedy x GNLibrarian!Reader

Summary: It is fall, and Leon Kennedy has a secret admirer.

Warning tags:  ROOTH TOOTING FLUFF, college au, leon wears glasses, shy!reader&leon, leon self depreciates a bit

Author's Notes: hiii. though where i live fall doesn’t exist (i swear, we are all being cooked alive at this point), im happy to write something to welcome fall! dedicated to @sarahs-secrets2 whose birthday is tomorrow! happy birthday, my friend!! thank you for being such an amazing friend to me, you are the best!! also i won't lie, i might be working on a small drabble for a smutty second part (flannel shirts, all im saying). dividers by @firefly-graphics. images found on pinterest and edited on faceapp.

leon's masterlist

It all starts right at the beginning of fall.

Leon Kennedy never considered himself the type of guy someone could deeply fall in love with. In his own opinion, he has always been an average kind of guy. A little shy, with a pair of black glasses in front of his eyes since he couldn't see long or short distances.

Since entering college and breaking up with his first (and only) girlfriend, romance wasn't clearly in his plans. He had to focus on his studies to become a lawyer and pass the bar exam. Unlike his colleagues, who partied every Friday, Leon was busy with his head inside books—most of the time.

There is also another weighting factor: Leon had a merit-based scholarship. It is not something he would tell someone, but it meant he had worked his ass off to get there, prove himself to stay there every semester. He couldn't waste his time with anything, especially with romance.

Leon enters the already chilly Friday, his scarf close to his face. For some reason, fall had arrived earlier, and he couldn't be more grateful. The library is almost empty, except for a few students here and there. He goes to his usual spot, between two tall bookshelves, a seat at the very end, hidden from the rest of the world. Before he can get there, a smiling familiar face carrying a few books in their arms appears in his path: you, who worked in the library and was always ready to help students whenever needed.

"Back already?" You joke, whispering. Leon feels his blush spread, smiling back.

"You know me, can't stay away too long."

You giggle, seeming equally flustered. There is a moment of silence where you two stare at each other, saying nothing else. Then, you handle Leon one of the books from your arms.

"Here. This just arrived today. I hope it can be helpful."

Before Leon can answer, you leave, waving, without looking directly at his face. Leon walks to his usual spot, removes his jacket, and hangs on the chair before placing the book on the table. He sits, opens the first page, and finds a yellow post-it with something written on it. Leon then takes his glass case out of his backpack, changing his distance ones to the reading ones. Yeah, he was one of those blessed ones who couldn't see far away or close. There it was, written in blue ink:

"Hi! I hope I don't scare you by writing this, but I just wanted to let you know you are adorable!" 

Leon's eyebrows raise as he looks around. Most students in there have their heads on their books. You had given this book to him earlier, so maybe? No, Leon realizes. So many other students have probably read it before. Wait, but didn't you say the book just arrived today? Well, it could have been a donation, and someone left it there.

Without making much noise, Leon gets up to look for you behind your front desk. You seem focused but promptly raise your head when you see Leon coming.

"Hey. Something wrong?" Your face is blurred, and Leon suddenly realizes he didn't change into his long-distance glasses.

"Yeah. Someone left this note in the book. Just wanted to give you a heads up."

"Oh." Leon handles the book for you, and he can't quite figure out your expression due to the lack of proper glasses. "I guess it came with the donation."

"Yeah. Probably." You whisper back in a strange tone. Leon gives you a slight nod before returning to his usual spot. Well, that was odd, but he didn't have time to think much about it. He needed to remain focused anyway.

Next Friday comes, and the temperatures slowly start dropping, which comes with a relief to Leon. He hates the heat, despises how the Earth is warming up, and nobody seems to give a damn about it. The view to the campus Library looks so pretty now: straight out from a book, orange leaves on the floor, crunching as Leon walks over them. It was one of his favorite Autumn activities when he was a kid—that and carving pumpkins. The only problem with the sudden chilly weather was his glasses getting fogged, but hey, it seemed like a fair trade.

He arrives near the library's building, finding you outside. You are wearing a deep green sweater with some trees drawn on it. On the top of your head, a cute black hat protects your ears. Leon can't help but smile when he notices you rub your hands and arms.

"It is not even that cold yet." Leon teases as he gets close. You look back at him, startled but happy to see him.

"Says the one with the heavy jacket and a scarf!"

"Hey!" Leon complains, pretending to be insulted. "At least this is better than the heat we had before, right?"

"Yeah."

Before Leon can walk in and leave you alone, he asks, his curiosity peaking.

"Hey, so what about that note from last week? Discovered where it was from?"

"Oh." You seem taken aback by his question before shrugging, "I don't know. I threw it away anyway. Nothing important."

Leon nods before waving and walking into the warmth of the library. It is as empty as last week, which Leon prefers. He goes to his usual spot, noticing the yellow post-it on top of his table. Leon rushes to grab it and read. It is written in the same blue ink as before.

"Just wanted to wish you a good week. I admire you from afar, hoping you achieve all your goals!"

Leon's first reaction is to look for you, show you the new note, and believe again this is a mistake. But then he ponders, his curiosity speaking louder. No, he isn't interested in romance, nor does he have time for it. But, if those notes are really, really meant for him, why? He isn't that special or someone who should have secret admirers. Leon has always been curious, so he places the note in his pocket.

In the weeks following, he ends up receiving more and more notes. They are on top of his desk, under the desk, near the wall, always visible so he can find them. And since the first two ones, they have started to come signed with "Your Secret Admirer." It can't just be a coincidence at this point.

"You are doing amazing, and I hope you continue to do so! - Your secret admirer."

"I wish I could say how much I admire you to your adorable face! - Your secret admirer."

"It makes me so happy to see you pursuing your dream; it gives me the courage to pursue mine! - Your secret admirer."

"One of these days, I will gather the courage to invite you out, but until then, I keep thinking about you as I look at the stars."

Leon's suspicions are towards someone inside the library, of course. His first thought is you, but it simply can't be. You are too bright, too cute, too funny for him. Deep down, Leon wishes it was you; he might have harbored a tiny crush on you since the first time you helped him, but he knows it can't be. His other suspicions are the other people in the library, but he barely knows them, except for an eventual nod or "hello" here and there.

It is finally time for the first week of exams, and the library is getting crowded. Leon arrives earlier that Friday and, for a miracle, can find his spot empty and, sadly, no note this time. He tries not to concentrate on his disappointment, focusing on his studies when, in the corner of his eyes, he comes into the corridor. You look dressed for a freezing winter, rushing toward Leon with something in your hands. When you see him, you stop in your tracks, your eyes slightly going wide. Then you turn around, leaving in the other direction. 

Much later that night, Leon walks to the front desk. You look busy but still manage to give him a tired smile.

"Getting crazy over here, huh."

"Yeah. It is time for the tests, so people can go a little crazy." You explain, shrugging. You look anxious, but Leon presumes it relates to the agitated week. "Hey, do you mhm like pumpkin chocolate brownies?"

"Sure?" Leon's stomach grumbles as you pull out something from your drawer. He hadn't had something to eat since he came to the library three hours ago. Two small pumpkin chocolate brownies, probably from the candy shop near the campus. "Thanks, I haven't eaten anything today."

"Just don't eat here, okay?" You wink, smiling.

Leon holds them, staring at your table as you return your attention to your work. A pile of books is nearby and more on the other side of the table. His attention is drawn to a small yellow paper folded so many times. He gathers his courage and opens his mouth to finally ask you what he has been dying to ask you this whole time.

"Hey, is it you my—?"

"Excuse me, can you help me find this book?" A female student calls your attention, interrupting Leon. You didn't seem to have heard anything, Leon asked, excusing yourself to help the stressed lady. 

Leon watches his surroundings. He shouldn't think about that, but his body works faster than his mind. Leon grabs the yellow folded paper and runs away without looking back, his whole face red. Did he just steal something? 

When he is out of the library range, he stops near a street light and frantically opens the post-it, his hands shaking, not due to the cold. Could it be you? Could it be really you? Leon reads it once. Then twice.

"Hey, I know you have been studying so hard. Here, have some pumpkin chocolate brownies to sweeten your night and give you some luck for the tests!- Your Secret Admirer."

So, it is you. Leon re-reads the sentence over and over again, thinking of different possibilities. It could have been an accident, right? Someone else could have brownies for him, some other secret admirer. But so specific like that?

"Stop. You are overreacting." Leon whispers to himself, placing the note in his jacket pocket. He looks back towards the library, half of him demanding for him to go back in there and face you. Wasn't Leon that wanted to have been you this whole time? Keeping all the notes even though they might not be for him? Wasn't he even considering opening an exception for this rule just because of you?

Leon will make a decision. Not tonight, no. Tonight, he will enjoy the feeling of knowing you are his secret admirer. 

Two weeks pass, and you don't see Leon. You wonder where he is since the last time he almost caught you placing the brownies and the note on his desk. You should have known he would arrive earlier since Leon has been so responsible about his studies (something you admired about him). Not coming for two weeks? You wonder if he was sick. Or maybe Leon chose to study in his dorm since the library had been so crowded lately.

After helping an agitated first-year who couldn't find a Math book, you walk back to your table and find a Pumpkin bookmark there. You turn it around, finding a sentence in beautiful handwriting: "Some say Autumn isn't the season of love, but I disagree when I have Fallen for you. - Your Not-So-Secret-Admirer?"

You feel your cheeks heating up, immediately thinking about Leon and finding him right before you, his entire face red as a tomato. You open your mouth and close it, unsure what to say.

"Sorry. I hope that didn't scare you."

"N-no! You didn't!" You reply loud enough to get some "sshhh." You shut your mouth, looking apologetic towards Leon, who smiles.

"Would you like to go out with me? There is a harvest fair nearby, and I was wondering if we could..."

"I would love to." You rush to answer, whispering. "If I don't disturb your studies, of course."

"Nope, not a problem."

Some might say nothing grows during Autumn. The leaves fall as the plants prepare for another winter until spring gives them life again, and the cycle repeats. Well, some things can bloom during Autumn, as Leon Kennedy's smile to you is enough proof of that.

[meltedbluecaterpillar]

Oh my god I read "insatiable," the Trey fic, and I am literally in awe, it was SO good I literally need to inject it into my veins. It's unfortunately rare for me to find Trey smut that I vibe with so I am REALLY happy I found your blog!! I think I saw that your requests are open right now (and I also saw that you also like Trey),,, could I please request more Trey smut </3

I trust your vision for him tbh, so not too many specifics here, but if you could somehow incorporate Trey being very loving and praising his partner, that would literally be the cherry on top. Loving partners are so sexy/j

You are doing god's work here and I'm so interested to see more fics from you in general!

Sweetie Pie

A/N: I agree Alice… Finding fics of Trey is like finding gold coins on the beach. Trey is sexy. People just need to be more open minded… Thank you for enjoying my writing… Sometimes I am very bashful about it. So I am happy that I could please you. This is what I have to offer.

tags: gn!reader, praise kink wc: 1.5k+

You almost felt bad about lying to Riddle. Almost. It was 11pm when you arrived in Heartslabyul. A small duffle bag hanging off your shoulder as you crept through the halls and up the stairs to a particular someone’s dorm room. You nearly jumped out of your skin when a door swung open,  and Riddle was frowning in the doorway. Thankfully, you had rehearsed your excuse. When asked why you had snuck into the building, you waved a hand dismissively and pulled a green notebook out of your bag. You had borrowed Trey’s notes for the alchemy exam. You just wanted to return them before class started tomorrow. 

The Housewarden was hesitant. Yawning softly before starting to smile. He was happy that you were doing something honorable. When he offered you an escort for your walk back you assured him that you would be okay. The walk wasn’t that long. Riddle must’ve been too tired to acknowledge the duffle bag in its entirety. Which was a good thing for you. You didn’t exactly lie. That was why you almost felt bad. You were returning Trey’s notes and having a sleepover. 

The moment you entered his room you could feel his body against yours. The door was pushed shut with your body pinned against the hard surface and Trey’s strong body. His lips peppered the side of your face, his leg slid between your thighs, and he successfully took your duffle bag from its place on your shoulder to hit the floor with a soft thud. “At least give me a hello.” You teased, turning your head with a soft whine as he snatched your earlobe between his teeth. “Hiii.” He purred softly and kissed along the side of your face. You could smell the fresh mint on his breath. You loved the way it prickled and electrified your skin. 

This was all the cause of pent up energy from exams. The two of you agreed to focus on your studies, not realizing the consequences that would come from lack of attention. The both of you were so touch starved. Trey had startled you with his enthusiastic request for a school night sleepover. You had no reason to decline. Your hips rolled against his light, hoping for friction as his hands rubbed against the sides of your body. Your top was pushed up as Trey caught your lips in a quick biting kiss that left your bottom lip caught in his teeth. You shivered with a weak moan as he released the flesh with a playful grin, hidden in the darkness of the dorm room. His thumbs rubbed gingerly over your budding nipples. Your hips rocked faster with the silent desire for more. “Does that feel good?” He asked softly and you nodded. Far too bashful to use your voice. “Awww that makes me happy~” Trey sighed with a smile.

When his hips rolled into yours, meeting your meek thrusts you could feel how hard his cock was. Hidden beneath his cotton pajama pants. There was a stuttering breath as he pinched and teased your nipples, ducking his head down to suck at your throat as you reached downwards to slide a finger in the waistband and pull. “Come on…” You whined impatiently. Your breath hitching when he sucked hard on the flesh closest to your jaw before pulling away with a wet smack. “What happened to the ‘hello’s?” Trey chuckled softly as you exhaled your frustration. “Alright, alright. Here is fine?” The Vice Housewarden posed it as a question. But really he was telling you. Not asking you. 

Your bottoms were slipped down your thighs and pooled around your ankles. Your lips caught in hungry kisses as Trey lowered his body, pressing his mouth harder against yours to silence your yelp. His strong arms had lifted you against the door. You were folded against his body now, knees hooked over his elbows as he pulled away to let you breathe. A thin trail of spit connecting your bruised lips to his. The position was suffocating. The position was erotic. Your hands grabbed at his arms with your skin burning from your ears and down to your collarbone. The heat between your legs was intense as Trey pressed his head against yours. “You wanna work yourself open for me? Get it nice and ready so I can fill you up?” His tone was polite. Giving you no reason to deny. Your skin was coating itself in a thin film of sweat, burning against the cool air of the room as you snuck a hand down between your legs to pump a finger in and out of yourself. You could feel Trey’s eyes watching you. “Only one finger? I think two would make it easier. Or do you like the way it feels when you get stretched open?” He asked softly as he peppered kisses along the side of your face. Your finger pumped and curled faster. “When I fill you up with my cock? When it presses against that special spot inside of you? I love when your eyes roll up into your head, that’s how I know you’re close to cumming.” Having his husky voice encouraging you like this was already pushing you to the edge of an orgasm. You slipped a second finger inside, listening to the squish and wet sound of your furious movements. You wanted to cum. But you would rather have Trey inside of you first. 

“Can you stay quiet for me?” He asked with another delicate kiss pressed against your face and you nodded with your fingers slowing to a stop. Your heart was ready to jump out of your throat from excitement. It was almost embarrassing how excited you were to be fucked. Almost. “Pull your fingers out. I’ll make you feel good. Just make sure to keep it down okay?” Trey instructed and naturally you obeyed with a dazed look on your face. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders, hugging him close as you listened to the shuffle of clothing. “You’re such a good listener, doing everything I ask without complaining.” He chuckled quietly. Your hole clenched when you felt something round pushing against you, breaching the entrance. Your nails dug into his shirt and you forced your head into his shoulder. “You take me so well. Even when you cried and sobbed about it being too big for you at first.” Trey pushed slowly, feeling you convulse around each inch as the muscles in your stomach cramped and twisted. Aching for more and more. To be filled entirely. “You’re so good for me. So perfect. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I’m lucky to be the guy you like.” He huffed with a tight roll of his hips. His grip on your hips tightened as he lifted you slightly, only to drag your body downwards as your back slid against the wood of the door. “Ohhhh fuuuckkk…” The warbled sound was pulled out of your throat as Trey nestled deep inside of your body. 

Your thighs shaking and your toes curled tightly as you attempted to stop yourself from cumming. The round tip of his cock rubbed your most sensitive bundle of nerves. Pressing harshly as stars dotted your vision. Tears pricked the corner of your eyes as you felt yourself starting to orgasm no matter how hard you tried to hold back. And Trey knew this. “Already? Ohhhh sweetie pie~” He cooed as you tilted your head back until it rested against the wood of the door. And with a gentle kiss on your forehead, Trey began to lift you, and pull you back down onto his cock. Starting slow before gradually picking up speed. The lewd wet smacks of skin meeting made you cry and moan. You struggled to bite back the sounds as your insides were given the rough massage you needed. The daily stressors. The annoyances around you during class. Running around on behalf of the Headmage. All being fucked out of you and forgotten bit by bit. “Shhhh- Remember you have to be quiet.” Trey warned with your lips again caught in his. You were struggling to catch your breath now. When he pulled away he was pouting, a bead of sweat rolling down his temple. “You’re doing so good. So, so good for me. You wanna cum again?” He asked and you nodded quickly. Your breath short as Trey’s short nails left deep crescents on your hips. “Cum with me okay? Come on.” You obeyed. You had no reason not to. 

You shook and strangled your loud cry in your throat. Body twitching from overstimulation against the hard surface of the door as Trey fucked you through said orgasm. His cock beating against the bundle of nerves before pressing tight against it. His cock throbbing with each gush of sperm oozing out and filling you. 

The warmth was pleasant. Leaving you in a daze as you started to fall limp, allowing yourself to be supported by Trey. You felt him shiver as he began to soften, warming his cock inside of you. “Are you okay?” He whispered, and you nodded. You felt more than okay. But you were too tired to speak up. 

[helladirections]

Hiii love hope you’re doing well! I was just wondering if you have any jealous fics or fic recs? Not toxic though lmao

ooh good question.

If I remember correctly, I think my fic She's All I Think About has some jealous moments when she starts talking to another guy? Also Brother's Best Friend 2: Yellow Sunglasses

Here's what I found looking through my /tagged/rec

The Arrangement by @gurugirl has moments of jealousrry

Bodyguarry by @jawllines I forget which part it's in, but he gets jealous bc Niall and her kind of hooked up once. I think there's other moments of jealousy too, but regardless this is a great read

Pleasing (jealous blurb) by @stylesloveclub part of Pleasing series Harry is a CEO of a restruant and YN is a waiter making money for school. The title of this one kind of fills in the rest

Harry’s a dick, and Y/N hates him for it by @harrys-titties Just a little bit of jealous vibes, if I remember correctly

Jealous Older!Harry request by @shroombloomm Everything she writes is fantastic

Intruder H.S by @lukesaprince "It sucks to be jealous of a genuinely nice person. It always gave you satisfaction when someone defended you, or praised you for your good work when Harry was around. Jealousy is a disease, and Harry was dying of it."

And she doesn't have a jealousy tag as far as I can see, but @reveriehs has pretty much ever fic under the sun catalogued

[lefarte]

HIII!!! can u write something with pav and a reader that is protective of him please? i love him so bad hsjdjdjd

I got you anon >:3c

This takes place assuming theres a pre-existing relationship btw, no real tags here, just normal fluffy stuff. GN reader. Sorry it’s kind of short I hope the quality is good at least. Also no beta reading no editing fuck it we ball

You felt a little yawn as Pav cuddled into your lap, his head resting on your thighs. He’d long since stopped asking to cuddle, if there ever was a point where he did. Light stubble rubbed over your skin as he nuzzled your leg. Like a big cat. When you first met him he was borderline manic; aggressive and overconfident with a constant undercurrent of paranoia. Looking over his shoulder, plotting and skulking around.

Nowadays he’s just lazy.

“My shoulders are so stiff~ moy lapachka~ help me~”

Anyone could see how spoiled he was. You supposed the years in the army had done something to him. The first moment you hugged him, he nearly pounced on you. He was always grabbing at you or trying to kiss you or hold you or even bite at you. At some point he just became something of your pet. A very bothersome pet, always worrying you.

You pressed your fingers onto his shoulders which elicited a happy purr. Your thumbs traced the outline of a scar. An exit wound of a bullet just narrowly dodging his heart. He told you it was an old wound from his first years on the field, said it didn’t hurt anymore. But he always ran his hand over the entry wound on his chest when he was lost in thought. Such a far away expression.

“What would I ever do without you?~” He breathed out a little sigh. “My darling.”

“You’d probably run off and get yourself shot.” You gently ran your palms along his shoulders. “Again.”

“You’re right, my dear.” He hummed.

[poetrysmackdown]

hi hiii i wanted to say that your account is so refreshing to see, esp with the passion you have for the arts. as someone who's been meaning to read (and write) more poetry, do you have any recommendations? some classics that everyone and their mothers know? perhaps some underrated pieces that changed you? or even just authors you like, I'm very open to suggestions :]]

Hi! Thank you so much for this kind ask :) So exciting that you’re looking to delve deeper into reading and writing! I had to take a little time to answer this because my thoughts were all over the place lol.

For a review of notable/classic poems/poets, I honestly just recommend looking at lists online or, hell, just binging Wikipedia pages for different countries’ poetry if that’s something you’re into, just to get a sense of the chronology. I read one of those little Oxford Very Short Introductions on American Poetry and thought it was pretty good, but online is quicker if you’re just searching for poets or movements to hone in on. Poetry Foundation also has lots of resources, in addition to all the poems in their database. I guess my one big classic recommendation would have to be Emily Dickinson (<3), but really the best move is just to find a poet you already enjoy and then look around to see who their peers were/are, who they were inspired by, who they’ve maybe translated here and there, etc. and follow it down the line as far as you can.

For some personal recs, here are some collections I’ve really enjoyed over the past two years or so. Bolded favorites, and linking where select poems from the book have been published online. But also, if you want a preview of a couple poems from another of the books to see if they interest you, DM me and I can send them over! You can also feel free to pilfer through my poetry tag for more stuff lol

Autobiography of Death by Kim Hyesoon trans. Don Mee Choi

Conflict Resolution for Holy Beings by Joy Harjo

DMZ Colony by Don Mee Choi

Hardly War by Don Mee Choi

Whereas by Layli Long Soldier

Geography III by Elizabeth Bishop

Dictee by Theresa Hak Kyung Cha

Don’t Let Me Be Lonely: An American Lyric by Claudia Rankine

Mouth: Eats Color—Sagawa Chika Translations, Anti-Translations, & Originals by Sawako Nakayasu

The Selected Poems of Osip Mandelstam trans. W.S. Merwin and Clarence Brown

The Branch Will Not Break by James Wright

This Journey by James Wright

God’s Silence by Franz Wright

Duino Elegies by Rainer Maria Rilke (the translation I read was by Alfred Corn—I thought it was great, but idk if there are better ones out there!)

DMZ Colony, Hardly War, Dictee, Don’t Let Me Be Lonely, and partially Whereas are all book-length poems with some prose poetry and varying levels of weirdness/denseness/multilingualism—if you were to pick one to start with, I’d say do Don’t Let Me Be Lonely or Whereas. Mouth: Eats Color is some experimental translations of Japanese modernist poet Chika Sagawa, with other translations and some of Nakayasu’s original stuff mixed in—it's definitely a bit disorienting but ultimately I remember having such fun with it, as much fun as Nakayasu probably had making it. It’s a book that emphasizes co-creation and a spirit of play, and completely changed my attitude towards translation.

If you’re less interested in that kind of formal fuckery stuff though (I get it), can’t go wrong with the other books! Conflict Resolution for Holy Beings is the one I read most recently, and it’s great—Harjo also featured in Round 1! Franz Wright also featured, and God's Silence is the collection which "Night Walk" comes from. James Wright (father of Franz) is one of my favorite poets of all time, though his poetry isn’t perfect. Even so, I’m honestly surprised he’s not doing numbers on Tumblr—Mary Oliver was a big fan of his, even wrote her "Three Poems for James Wright" after his death.

I mentioned in another post that one of my favorite poets is Paul Celan, so I’ll also recommend him here. I read Memory Rose into Threshold Speech which is a translated collection of his earlier poems, but it’s quite long if you’re just getting to know him as a poet—fortunately, both Poetry Foundation and Poets.org have a ton of his poems in their collections. There’s also an article by Ilya Kaminsky about him titled “Of Strangeness That Wakes Us” (!!!!!) that’s a great place to start, and is honestly kind of my whole mission statement when I’m reading and writing poetry. Looking at the books I’ve recommended above, a lot of them share feelings of separateness or alienation—from others, from oneself, from one’s country, from language—that breed strange, private modes of expression. That tends to be what I’m drawn to personally, and that’s some of what Kaminsky talks about.

Sorry of the length of this—I hope it's useful as a jumping-off point! And if you or anyone ends up exploring any of these poets, let me know what you think! If folks wanna reply with recommendations themselves too that'd be great :)

[emry-stars-art]

EDIT: PENCIL HAS BEEN REPLACED AND IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING AGAIN!! Thank you to those who donated, you have my ENTIRE heart for now and always

Hiii I’m back to bother you all again with technical difficulties. Long story short, if I have diagnosed the problem properly, I need a new Apple Pencil! And if I’m wrong I’ll need to replace both my pencil and the iPad itself!! But (and I am sure this will surprise no one that’s read this far) - I have no money 🥲

This isn’t quite a 100% necessary expense. I still have a handful of job applications sent out that are still waiting on replies, and hopefully I’ll have some more income sooner rather than later - but since comms and art have been one of my main sources of income this year, this is gonna be a decent problem for a little bit 😅 in the meantime I’m going to reach into the void and boost some stuff and offer additional ways that maybe I can earn some money for the month!

So if you do happen to have extra cash, some ways that would help a ton: my patreon (this month’s star tier sticker is going to be an aftg mermay design of some sort or another), my etsy, my kofi shop, or plain old kofi donations. But I also wanna be able to sweeten the pot a little, so there’s more!

I’m selling a couple original pieces over on kofi as well, including Raven Kevin, the Jean & Jeremy piece, and the og mermay comic from last year 👀

I’m taking low-stakes sketch commissions, also on kofi! For 15usd you can drop an aftg/tsc sketch request, and if you want to be tagged when I post it, leave your url as well! Additional characters for a little extra, and you can drop specific reqs - give me thoughts, ideas, meme redraws, outfits, or ask for a specific scene or specific au of mine (sure is a good month for mermaids 👀). I’d also take requests of my own ocs, but unfortunately for these kinds of sketch requests I won’t be taking others ocs.

All that being said, of course I understand if donating isn’t possible for you rn, so I’m not trying to make you feel guilty about scrolling past lol. If you’d like something free to do you can also just leave a nice comment or tag on something I’ve drawn to get my mind off the issues 😅 thank you so much to all you lovely people who support me in every way, it’s literally my livelihood and makes me so happy every day to make you happy, so! I hope you all have a wonderful time zone, and I hope you’re as excited for more merms as I am 😌💕

[reriart]

Hi i saw your post about Percy headcannons and I was wondering if you could write about Percy together with an adhd reader and the readers meds make them lose their appetite and he helps them eat and just a generally fluffy headcannon?

Hiii! Thank you for asking :3 I have ADHD too, so I hope I somehow made the story more realistic. I hope you don't mind if I ended up writing a fanfic directly, I've been thinking about this comfort story for the entire day!

I'm safe with you.

Additional tags: reader has ADHD and they're using meds, stimming, food disorder, GN!Reader, not smut for once, love confession, very soft Percy. You can read it on AO3 too! Remember that English is not my native language (plus I've wrote it in the middle of the night). Divider: cafekitsune Summary: It has passed three days since the last time you've eat something. You fainted between Percival's arms, who is deadly worried for you.

“I swear I can burp louder than you!” Grog shouted, swaying the overflowing beer mug dangerously, then drinking it all in one gulp and loudly belching in front of Scanlan's face. 

“Pff. You're a rookie. Take that!” the bard replied, echoing the gesture but intensifying the sound through his magic.

The vigorous man crossed his arms over his chest. “That's not fair! I can't win that way!”

On your end, you stood in a corner at the very end of the table, smiling shyly. Or rather, it wasn't so much a shy smile as a nervous one, which exuded discomfort. The medicine that Whitestone's doctor had prescribed for you (Percival had insisted that you go there) tasted terrible and the side effects were even worse: nausea, tremors, lack of appetite, dizziness. Except for that last one, so far you had checked all three off your daily list. You hadn't told anyone about it, to avoid worrying anyone (or even worse, that someone would force you to stay at the De Rolo castle, especially if that someone was your boyfriend). Yet, as soon as you looked up from the plate full of beans and steaming beef, two pale green eyes, circled by an elegant silver frame, were there, staring at you. Eyebrows bent downward, lips half-closed as if to say something. Percy was doing the dishes -- it was his turn (and, besides, he was practically the only one respecting it, besides you) -- but he was close enough to know that something was amiss. Although his attentions were always appreciated by you, whatever their nature, you just wanted to stay by yourself that night. 

However, the first (and only) attempt to sneak away was a fiasco. Two steps and your knees collapsed like a potato bag. Thankfully, keeping you from hitting your head, Percy was right there. He had thrown the plates in the air to catch you on the fly. You felt your mind getting foggy, your mouth heavy. 

“Hey,” he said, his eyes wide. “Are you okay?” “Mm-hm.” You didn't have the energy to think. Curling up in his arms suddenly seemed like the most reasonable choice. He smelled of jasmine and black powder. Around him, Grog, Scanlan and Vax also gathered.

“Maybe I'd better take you to the room. Hold on to me.”

“Do you need a hand?” asked the half-elf, frowning. 

“No, I thank you. I'll take care of it,” he replied, lifting you up and resting his arms behind his neck. Vax couldn't see it, but he was gently stroking your muscles with his thumbs. He loved to run his fingertips over your body, especially when he could get lost in making little circles. Somehow, he was giving comfort to both of you.

He carried you out of the huge dining room without saying anything else, holding you to his body. He was radiating a pleasant warmth, and you instinctively rubbed your face against his blouse on the way. Within minutes, you were in your bed, him sitting beside you, stroking your face.

“Hey,” he said smiling, stroking your cheek. “It's the medicine, isn't it? How long has it been since you've eaten?”

Three fingers up. You hadn't eaten for three days.

“Three days? Holy shit... you should have told me,” he remarked, running a gloved hand through his snow-white hair. 

“I didn't...want to worry you....” Guilt began to weigh down your heart, forcing you to bite your lips nervously and touch your fingertips to each other in a vain attempt to calm down, but it was only his hand under your chin that stopped the flow of obsessive thoughts. He forced you to look at him.

“It has to stop happening, okay? Talk to me. Let's communicate. You don't have to carry everything on your shoulders.”

Yeah. Percival was right. But it was so difficult even the act of thinking sometimes. Your head was perpetually bulging with thoughts, things to do, external stimuli, sounds, smells, textures. The missions, the places to explore and their dangers, the screaming, the blood, the metal, the fire. Medication had lessened all that, it was true. For a moment, sleep and daily life had become more bearable, but food had lost your attention. 

“I'm sorry.” You felt tears in the back of your eyes. The last thing you wanted was to make him angry. 

“You don't have to apologize to me,” he said softly, then stood up and reached for a pitcher and a glass of water. He filled it, handing it to you. “Let's start with the simple things. Drink a little.” 

Very quietly, the first sips went down your throat. Then, faster and faster. In a few moments you had swallowed all the water. Percival watched you from the edge of the bed, one hand on your leg distractedly playing with the fabric of your pants. 

“Good. Shall we try to eat something?”

Your stomach hadn't fully opened yet, but the idea of worrying your boyfriend made you feel worse. 

“W-What can I eat?”

“Let's see-I can get you a slice of cake, if Grog has left some. Gods, he eats like he's still about to grow!” she huffed, raising his hands to the sky and earning your laughter. His green eyes sparkled and he smiled back. “Wait for me.”

“E-even if I wanted to, I don't think I could move from here except as a worm. Crawling.”

He stood up, chuckling. “You're terrible,” he said, kissing your forehead and then pointing toward the door. “I'll be right back.”

You spent the next few minutes looking at your hands. How worn they were ... then, flashes of hands covered by leather gloves: protecting your fingers, squeezing them, medicating them. Not a moment had passed since you had met Percival De Rolo that those hands had been left to their fate. Since he had become your boyfriend, then, less so. The knuckles had been kissed, the hands held on your warm, milk-white chest. Loneliness was but a distant memory, but ... having someone taking care of you was far beyond your expectations. 

Your thoughts were interrupted by the squeaking of the wooden door and the rush of cold air against your skin. Percival was holding not one, but two slices of chocolate cake, rigorously arranged on finely decorated plates. He placed one of them on your thighs, held the other in his hand, then sat back down on the edge of the bed. 

“Can you sit closer?” 

“How much closer?” “Here. Let's eat together.”

Percy, being very careful not to let his dessert fly onto his jacket, settled down next to you at your pat on the mattress. You rested your head on his shoulder for a brief moment, and he rested his own on top of you. Your free hands sought each other, entwining. It was a quiet, long minute, except for your breaths in the cold room. Then, he broke the silence.

“I know it's hard -- but really, let me carry some of your struggles on my shoulders.”

“Percy...you just got a demon off your fucking back, why don't you leave them in peace?”

“Because I love you.”

You almost had a stroke. Yes, you were now a couple (in a very adolescent way, had been your response after an initial, very shy kiss and his question, “What are we?”), but you had never confessed to each other, you had limited yourselves to a few brief contacts of hands, arms and yes, occasionally lips. Things between you were complicated, mainly because neither of you had ever been in a steady relationship and everything was pretty new. 

And just as you opened your mouth to respond, a forkful of cake flew down your throat, followed by her laughter. 

“Percy! I was going to choke-”

A blow kiss sealed your lips. “Maybe I found a way to get you to eat more often.”

[superfallingstars]

Hello, do you have any marauders fic recs? I’m a big marauders fan but I’m so tired of reading fics where they feel completely out of character, and I feel like you might know something I don’t

Aw man I’m the wrong person to ask for this, I don’t really read fics very often lol. I’ll try to enlist the help of some people whose Marauders opinions I trust and who might have better recs than me (tbh I’m also curious to hear), but I’ll share the few that I’ve come across, too. Apologies if you've already read them.

I think my most relevant rec is The Night Will Always Win by betweenfactandbreakfast, which is a canon-compliant Marauders era fic from 1975-1981. Admittedly I haven’t finished it – tbh I liked it so much that I had to stop reading it, which sounds so incredibly dumb now that I wrote it out, but I was legitimately getting pissed off that I had to do things in real life instead of reading it lmao. Time to take a step back...! Either way, I’ve really enjoyed it so far. And I’ve seen @seriousbrat's inbox turn into a battleground of endless Snape vs. Marauders discourse, so I know their feelings on the characters are pretty similar to mine lol (and hiii I know you have been in this fandom for much longer than I have, so maybe you have some good recommendations?). Basically this is a good fic if you want everyone to be a terrible person <3

The other fic I can rec is Have Your Cake and Eat It by cunegonde, aka my favorite fic of all time (that I could scream about literally foreverrrr but I’ll try to reel myself in!). This is a good fic if you want everyone to be a good person. Also this fic has time travel in it, so it’s like, kind of Marauders era, but not quite? Even though it’s kind of cliche, it’s also incredibly earnest and thoughtfully done, and it has interesting (and imo, realistic!) characterizations of each of the Marauders. Tbf I’m definitely biased toward this author’s work because they basically only write Snupin (my personal fave pairing), but reading their stuff is like, genuinely why are you writing Harry Potter fanfiction and not a full-length original novel, because holy fuck I think you could actually pull that off. Like, I loved this fic so much that I (person who doesn't read fanfic) immediately read everything else they wrote and finished it all in two days... Also this fic made me cry for literally an hour straight (probably the strongest emotional reaction I’ve had to any piece of media ever lol) – even though I knew what was coming. It was just that good.

Unfortunately that’s literally all I got lol. I’m going to tag some people who I think have similar takes on the Marauders as I do – @seriousbrat @remus-poopin @big-scary-bird @saintsenara – hiii, add on if you’d like. And anyone else who has recommendations of Marauders fics with good characterization, feel free to chime in!

[celestie0]

HEY ELLIE!!!! i hope your doing well!!! okay so i just read the most recent ihm chapter (which is AMAZING by the way. my jaw was only the floor when gojo tried to kiss the reader) and i saw that u had choso x reader in the tags. is choso just gonna be like the annoying, jealous ex bf that won’t fuck off or is there gonna be more depth between the reader and him?!?! idk i might be looking into this too much but im just so curious!!!!! no pressure to share anything tho 😓 also i’m really curious about ihm gojo’s house. i imagine it being very contemporary with an open floor plan and neutral colors but would love to know your thoughts! i also imagined the town where ihm is set to be a midwest suburb right out side a major city but i know in a recent post you intended for it to be a small town in washington. ive literally never been outside the midwest and have no fucking clue what the west coast is even like 😭. if u have any pictures that u think give off ihm town vibes please share because my brain visuals are lacking LMFAO anyways sending lots of love your way and apologies for this yap sesh!!

hiii darling you are so cute n sweet omg <3

ohhh yes yes choso will definitely have lots of depth too! i think i may have mentioned this before, but i don’t really want there to be any comically “evil” characters in ihm. even the ones that seem most villainous, i will still attempt to put their thoughts n feelings into perspective somehow!

but as for choso n reader, yea i mean obviously what choso did to reader was atrocious, but i think there’s another side to it too, of which i’m sure my readers can kinda guess. a person doesnt just end a six year relationship n then hook up with someone the day after out of nowhere, that typically indicates that they had long since checked out of the relationship, and we’ll get choso’s perspective on that decision

i guess since ihm is a more “adult” romance, there will be lots of candid n mature conversations between the characters, but there will also be a lot of childish drama too BAHAHAH. idk that’s kind of how my adult life has been so far so that’s sort of what i’m trying to emulate! but i’m so glad you asked about that, bc yea i am super excited to bring more nuance to the more “antagonistic” characters in ihm! and also highlight the flaws of the protagonists as well :0

oh yes i totally think ihm gojo’s house is more modern, i think contemporary might be a lil too far, but it’s definitely fresh looking yet still cozy at the same time. also, i think mideastern washington kinda looks a bit like the midwest in some places hahaha, but yes i did try to kind of look at some houses that i think match the ihm town vibe!!

this is kind of a mix of what i picture for the neighborhood:

obviously since it’s washington state there will be gloomy days and lots of fall foliage

and then this is sort of what i picture for interior of gojo’s house:

very bright, sorta modern n newly renovated

this is what i picture for reader’s house:

little bit more dated, older, darker colors!!

and here’s some misc photos of the town:

hope this answers my dear :)

[comicdez]

0c-tober days 10 and 11! i love using pallets so fingers crossed i can do all of palette week!

ocs featured are Decan, an entity of decay, and Axel, a college kid who gets possessed by a demon sometimes!

[gradient-jeremy-asks]

Pinning this post back weeeeeee

[PLEASE READ BEFORE LOOKING AT ANYTHING ELSE!!]

Welcome to my super coolio blog

Also if you came to just look at my art rather than the whole blog just use the jelly’s art tag in my search legit it has mostly everything I have drawn

You can ask

• Jeremy

• Unpleasant

(I’ll start doing asks again when I feel like it.)

A Bit About me!!!

(Lil drawing of me <3 aren’t I gorgeous?)

HIII!!! You can call me Jelly!! Or Jeremy!!

I also have my (Main blog.) @wooahiexist I legit just draw whatever I want on there (You will be buried in Shy Guy art if you scroll far.)

Some people ask for my pronouns are I go by (He-Him.)

ONLY POSTING ON HERE WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT

I post more wholesome Gradientcube content because half the shit I see is just sexual content of them

(Serious Stuff.) under cut

I only draw for myself I am not made here to mindlessly serve you content I take my time with what I wanna draw/when I want to and I wanna keep it that way

I also have a boyfriend and flirtatious asks i’m not comfortable with please respect our boundaries that’s all we ask this also goes with saying if you can kiss any character

I’m just on here to draw what I love and interact that is all

Boundaries w/ my art [PLEASE READ THIS ESPECIALLY]

I’m fine with

Use my art for comic dubs,pfp’s,edits, and etc. I just ask to be credited

Taking my designs for inspo i’m totally okay with this!!!

Not okay

Stealing my art

Claiming my art is yours

Conclusion (Idek what to title this 💀.)

YEAH BUT DON’T BE AFRAID TO LEAVE ME A ASK I MAY BE SUPER SLOW(Art is a long process.) BUT I PROMISE I’M GONNA ANSWER THEM!!

AND FINALLY TREAT YOURSELVES WITH LOVE AND RESPECT I LOVE YOU ALL YOU’RE VERY COOL 🫶

I completely forgot to like make rules for the ask blog part of this (I don’t really plan to use it for asks mainly just art.)

Overall just have fun chat ✌️🌝

[greensagephase]

heyyy alodraa, how you've been doing lately? I hope you're doing great. I know I've said it before but I truly enjoyed nc. And I think I want you to be the first one to know that now I'm trying to write too. Your work has been inspiring to me. Writing stories used to be my hobby that was abandoned for like years. After I read yours, I can feel that spark coming again and I think I want to start again. Thank you Alodra, may you always have a good day/night! love you!

Hiii, pookie!! Thank you so much for the ask!! 🥰 I also want to apologize for how long it’s taken me to answer it. I got behind with a lot of asks and other notifs, but thank you so much for asking how I’ve been lately! I’ve been doing great so far. It’s autumn time, which is my fav season of the year followed by winter, so I feel like I’m thriving 😊 ✨How have you been? I hope you’ve been doing well!!!

Aww, thank you!! First, I’m so happy that you’ve enjoyed NC!! I hope you continue to do so, but OMG POOKIE? YOU’RE WRITING?? YOU FEEL A ✨SPARK✨?? BECAUSE OF MY WORK??

That’s one of the KINDEST and SWEETEST COMPLIMENTS I’ve received as a fanfic writer!!! I’m touched that my writing has inspired you to pick up this lovely hobby again, seriously!! So, thank you for sharing 🥹 If you happen to post it here on Tumblr, pls tag me, pookie (or let me know if you have it on AO3). I’d love to read it and show it some love!!

I’m so excited for you!! I remember there were so many times I had to abandon writing to focus on other things, primarily school, and whenever I felt that spark come back to me - !! It’s one of the best feelings ever (same as now when I get ideas and I get all excited to write). I hope you have a lot of fun writing, pookie, and don’t forget to just let your creativity flow!!

Aww, thank you!! I hope you always have a wonderful day/night, too!! Pls take care!! Love you!!!💖💖

Alondra❤️

[farfromstrange]

Helloooo, ❤️❤️❤️

I had an idea for a little fluff piece.

Reader has a secret (she sleeps with a teddy bear from her childhood that brings her comfort) and she wants to tell Matt but she isn't sure how is he going to react.

Maybe then Reader forgets her teddy bear at Matt's apartment and he cuddles with it while she isn't there.

Also, I love your fics 😍😍😍 they always make smile on good and bad days alike. 💕💕💕💕

Sidenote: How is this man so cute and hot at the same time???? 😍😍😍💕💕💕💕

HIII 🥰 (opening my inbox to this gif was truly a gift. I feel like he’s staring into my soul). You’re literally so sweet and I was so happy to read this request because let’s be honest, don’t we all have a stuffed animal that we always keep with us? (Mine’s this pillow shaped as a seal and I called him ‘Robbie’). I loved this request so much and I just hope I could do it justice. I put my own spin on it. I hope you like it, darling! (side note: That last gif took me out completely, it's not fair how adorable he is while also looking like a snack I could easily bite into).

Emotional Support Teddy Bear | Matt Murdock x Reader

Masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader (gender neutral)

Summary: You have a fluffy, brown secret that you forget at Matt's apartment one night. When you come to retrieve it, you find him cuddled up with your teddy bear.

Warnings: Tooth rotting fluff.

Word Count: 2.8k

A/n: If you guys have a stuffed animal, please tell me what you named them because I've been naming mine ever since I found out how names work (and I do the same to my plants). If you reblog, put it in the tags or something. Anyway, I hope I managed to somehow get this request right and that you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

When you tell people you have a secret, they often suspect something darker to be brewing beneath the surface. A forbidden relationship, a secret job, or maybe even some literal skeletons in your closet. Like, the dead bodies kind. 

It’s no secret that people like to speculate. But your secret is far from being dark and gloomy. The only reason it is even a secret is the embarrassment that often follows the truth. It’s not you who’s embarrassed, but other people like to judge and laugh, and sometimes it’s easier to keep your mouth shut than open a can of worms over something that’s not even worth being talked about because, to you, it’s normal. 

Your secret’s name is quite literally Mr. Bear. You gave him that name when you were in elementary school when he just happened to lie under the tree one Christmas morning. That teddy bear is one of the few things that still connect happy memories to your childhood. You have a special connection, and ever since you found your name on the package all those years ago, you haven’t been able to ban him from your bed. Everywhere you go, you make sure that brown, fluffy teddy bear is somewhere in your bag, so when you go to bed, you can take it out and have a good night’s rest. 

You’ve been in a relationship with Matt for a while now. Most of your boyfriends from before laughed when they found out about the teddy bear and often told you to leave him in your bag because they found it weird, and a lot of your friends have told you the same thing - although you can’t possibly understand what would be so weird about a lifeless stuffed animal that you like to take to bed with you and use as a second pillow to sleep. 

Your fear of his reaction has prompted you not to tell your boyfriend about your childhood friend. At first, you thought his blindness would be perfect to hide that you’re holding a teddy bear whenever you stay over at his place, but then you found out that the innocent blind man has heightened senses and is pretty much perceptive when it comes to foreign sensations in and around his apartment. Still, up until now, you’ve managed to hide your fluffy secret every night you have spent over at his place. You’re playing with fire, or at least it feels that way. 

Matt is a very cuddly person and it is often you that ends up as his personal teddy bear. You don’t mind. It is nice to have someone to hold onto during the night, but there is just something about your beloved Mr. Bear that makes you crave him next to you. The teddy is always in your bag, but it’s only on nights Matt is out the entire night that he wanders into your bed. When he is on patrol around Hell’s Kitchen and you get anxious and lonely, and you worry about the man you love coming home bloody and bruised, you take out your teddy bear and cuddle with him until you can find a few hours of rest. He hasn’t noticed or told you so far because, by the time he comes home in the early hours of the morning, right before sunrise, you have woken up from the sound of the floorboards creaking and the bear lands back in your bag. 

You sleep well with Matt beside you, but the nights you can be alone and have your little secret in bed beside you still hold a different weight and mean a lot to you. They don’t mean more; you love your boyfriend and everything he does, but there is a deeper meaning behind your attachment to that fluffy teddy bear that you hold to a different standard, and you can’t deny that there are nights when you wish you could just tell Matt what you’re carrying and what you want to have next to you (alongside him, of course.) But no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to bring yourself up to tell him.

He would be more upset if you told him you killed someone, that much you know, but your definitions of what’s hard to tell the other are worlds apart. On Valentine’s Day, Matt acted as if forgetting to buy you flowers had been the end of the world, and you didn’t even notice it was Valentine’s Day until your co-worker reminded you. You know he would never judge the use of a teddy bear for emotional support, God knows he has his own ways to deal with his issues that are far more complicated than a stuffed animal, but you’re still scared and you’re still holding back. 

After another night spent at your boyfriend’s place, you make your way home for a change of clothes and to get ready for an important work meeting the next day, which means you will be spending your night at your apartment, alone. You cook yourself a nice dinner, take a shower, read through your notes, and then head to bed, your skin feeling refreshed from the lengthy skincare routine you chose to bless yourself with. You check your phone as you slide under the covers. ‘City’s not busy tonight. Going home early. - Matt’ Reading his words makes you feel a little relieved and you settle into the pillows. It only takes you a minute or two until you realize something is missing, and it is not in your bag or behind your pillows like it usually is.

Your eyes snap open. “Oh, crap!”

At the other end of the city, Matt is making his way through his apartment. It feels empty and much colder without you there. Tonight, he didn’t come home with a lot of cuts, more scrapes, and bruises that he could take care of by himself. It seems as if the criminals of Hell’s Kitchen are using the summer heat to do something else entirely with their free nights. He hasn’t come home so early in a while and he kind of wishes you were there with him so he could have someone to cuddle, and your heartbeat always manages to drown out the noise of the city that lurks behind the closed window. 

Grabbing a glass of water from the kitchen, Matt finds himself stumbling over something. He has his apartment memorized, and whatever his toes bumped into wasn’t there before. He puts the glass down and gradually touches his way forward, reaching down to touch the fluffy object that almost caused him to fall flat on his ass. Part of him suspects your hairbrush or a piece of your clothing because it smells like you and you tend to get messy, especially when you leave your bags standing in various corners of the apartment; something always manages to fall out, and then you knock on his door the next day, smiling sheepishly and admitting that you oh so miraculously lost something at his place only to end up staying a few days. Maybe it’s one of those things. Something you can live without for a day or two but gives you a reason to visit him unprompted, but you both know that you never need a reason to appear at his apartment. If anything, Matt needs to finally ask you to move in. It would make things so much easier. 

When his hands envelop the small object though, he realizes that it’s not a hairbrush or anything else he’s heard you use before. It is a fluffy teddy bear with embedded eyes, and he can tell from touching it that it is a few years old, maybe decades, but it smells like you, your apartment, and your childhood bedroom that he got to visit once after meeting your parents. There is nostalgia glued to the teddy bear. You smell different during days than you smell during nights, and the stuffed animal carries the scent of your body lotion and toothpaste, blurring nights and mornings together. His shirts often smell like that after you’ve borrowed them for a couple of days and return them unwashed, knowing he thrives off of the pure essence of your skin. He does not doubt that you sleep with that teddy bear, and as he takes another whiff, he recognizes the laundry detergent that usually washes his sheets. You have slept with the same teddy bear in his bed, probably on nights he was absent before, and it warms his heart as well as breaks it at the same time. 

If you sleep with it and it smells so much like you, you probably miss it, and this could not have been a purposeful mishap. 

At first, he considers calling a cab and taking it to you, but then he stops and contemplates. You have never told him before and maybe there is a reason for it, so taking it to you personally could mean crossing boundaries you might not want him to cross. And he misses you dearly; the teddy bear smells so much like you, he soon finds himself burying his nose in the fluffy fabric and breathing you in. It’s soft and he’s sure it is more than comfortable to sleep with, just like you are. You are going to come knocking tomorrow and search for your teddy bear. Maybe you will tell him, maybe you won’t, but there is not much he can do in the middle of the night. You’re probably already asleep. 

He’s trying to somehow glorify his own decision, but then again, you would call him or come over if it were that serious. Matt takes your teddy bear to bed that night. He lays down and cuddles the stuffed animal to his chest, inhaling your scent. He’s not sure why you haven’t told him about it before, but it turns out to be a great cuddling partner in his time of need. 

He falls asleep faster than usual, his arms wrapped tightly around the teddy bear as his face disappears in the fake fur. He dreams of you and your warm body close to his, a sunny morning with breakfast in bed and a shared shower. He dreams of cuddling you all day and perhaps spending a day in the park afterward, but never once letting go of your soft hand in his. 

You have a key to his apartment. You considered taking the subway at three in the morning to get to his side of town, but you value your life and the lecture Matt would have given you should rather stay a fragment of your imagination. So after your eight o’clock meeting, you head to his apartment which is surprisingly close to your place of employment. He is supposed to be at work on a Wednesday morning at nine. You feel safe when you gently unlock the door and step inside, expecting to find the place empty as your boyfriend is probably in his office right now, having coffee with Foggy and complaining about the lack of a caseload. 

You were wrong. 

The floorboards creak under your shoes. You can already tell there is a silhouette behind the closed bedroom door. Carefully, you slide it open, not finding your teddy bear where you remember having placed your bag the other day. The milky glass slides to the side and you are met with a sight that both surprises you and instantly melts your heart in the process. 

Matt is lying in his bed, at half past nine in the morning, and he is fast asleep with the teddy bear you’ve been searching for cradled comfortably in his arms. His mouth is slightly agape, there is drool hanging at the corner of his mouth, and the worried crease between his eyebrows is almost completely gone. He has his nose buried in the stuffed animal, and he looks as content as ever. 

Tangled in the sheets, Matt feels safe and secure. The teddy bear still feels like you. He’s unaware of his surroundings, unaware of the time and the fact that you are now sitting on the edge of the bed, watching him with awe in your beautiful eyes. 

You reach out to stroke his hair. He stirs. “Matty,” you murmur. 

He slowly blinks to life. 

“Matthew, my love. Good morning…”

Matt smiles at the sound of your voice, but then the symphony of the city sounds crashes in and he realizes that he is no longer dreaming. He says your name, his voice barely above a whisper, and then finally opens his eyes. 

“What’re you doing here?” he asks. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

You chuckle softly. “I should ask you the same thing.”

“Day off.”

“Oh.”

“No cases.”

“Well, my meeting ran short, so I came here,” you say. Your eyes switch to the teddy bear in his arms and your cheeks flush a bright red. “‘Cause I forgot something.”

Knowingly, he smiles back at you. ”You did?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?”

“Because this is probably the first time a woman has ever left her teddy bear at your place. It’s embarrassing.” You grab Mr. Bear from his clutches and get up, hugging the teddy bear to your chest. “So I’m sorry. For that.”

He lifts his head and slowly sits up, his shirtless frame moving up against the headboard. You stare at him, your gaze unwavering. Matt holds out his hand, urging you to come closer, but you refuse. 

“It’s not embarrassing,” he says. 

“It kind of is though.”

“No, sweetheart, it’s not. It’s a teddy bear.”

“Exactly.”

He sighs. “You’re right, this is the first time someone has left a teddy bear at my place.”

Your lips twirl up into an embarrassed yet triumphant smile. 

“But,” he says, his unfocused eyes searching for yours as he runs his fingers through his brown locks, “I have also never been more in love with you.”

“Wait what?” you frown. 

“Adults can have teddy bears too, and the fact that you have something to offer you comfort at night is adorable.”

You take slow steps toward him and he doesn’t hesitate to pull you down next to him, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. 

“It smells like you,” he admits, “which is why I slept with it, and I get it. It’s soft. I have you as my personal teddy bear, but who’s to say you can’t have an actual teddy bear at home? It holds childhood memories, doesn’t it?”

You nod shyly. 

“And people have laughed at you for it?”

“Ever since I was a child,” you tell him. 

“Well, fuck ‘em. It’s cute. I just want to know, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I was embarrassed.” You play with your teddy bear’s ears. “And because I didn’t want you to feel like you weren’t enough for me by saying ‘Oh, by the way, I need my teddy bear to sleep’. It just felt weird.”

“It’s not weird,” Matt assures you. His smile is bright as he leans down to kiss you. “So don’t be embarrassed.”

“You mean it?” You look up at him with hopeful eyes. 

He nods and takes the teddy bear from you. “In fact, I think we should share it,” he says. 

“Share it?” Your embarrassment and nerves fly out the window and you find yourself giggling at his suggestion. “Are you serious?” you ask. 

“Yeah, I mean, I’ve never had a teddy bear… and as I said, it smells like you.”

And you know how much he loves your scent. 

You curl into him, his nose instantly moving to rub against your scalp, smelling your shampoo and conditioner from the night before. He sighs happily, still holding the teddy bear, and it seems as if he’s not ready to give it back. 

“I’ll buy you a teddy bear, Matty.”

“What?”

“You said you never had one, so I’ll get you one.”

“Well, why can’t I have yours?”

You tear the teddy bear out of his hands. “Because it’s mine, and I am very territorial about my emotional support teddy bear.”

He pouts. “I thought I was your emotional support teddy bear.”

“Yeah,” you say, using the few minutes you have left to cuddle closer to him, “and I am very territorial about that one too.”

Matt chuckles and kisses the top of your head. “I can live with that,” he says. 

When you come home that night, you’re carrying a bouquet in one hand and a gift bag in the other. He frowns, but as soon as he feels the fluffy object inside, his grin widens. It has horns and a tail, a little too on the nose, but he smiles nonetheless. 

“It’s a dinosaur,” you tell him. “Because you once told me you loved dinosaurs as a kid. And if you want, I’ll sleep with it a few nights so it’ll smell like me.”

He wraps his arms around you in an instant. “I love you so much.”

“And I love you.”

Needless to say, from that moment on, you will both be going to sleep with your emotional support teddy bears (or dinosaurs) every night. 

[cherry-froggie]

Hiii!! I see you 👁👁 I love love what you've been writing so far!! They're so fun to read and so intricately written I justxidhsigid ❤❤

Mayhaps,, request? If you write for Ayato! If not, you can just ignore this ❤❤ when Ayato was younger, there were times he'd sneak out,, and he made a friend (reader) ! So they'd always play (sometimes with ayaka) when Ayato manages to have time, and this went on for years, reaching up to their teen years when reader says they have to leave for a bit for whatever reason, promising they'd come back.

But!! News arrived that the ship you were boarding was hit by a horrible storm and sunk :( he was devastated bc his childhood bff and long time crush probs died ,,, fast forward to the present, someone drops by their estate looking for Ayato,, and lo and behold, reader! Still alive with scars they got from the ship sinking,, just v fluff hurt/comfort hehe >:)

Have fun writing! No pressure ❤❤

eternal devotion

pairing — Ayato x gn!reader

summary — Every year, since your disappearance, on your birthday, Ayato would leave his duties as the head of the Kamisato Clan to remember you for a day. So, when you finally reunite, will you still remember each other?

tags — fluff, hurt/comfort, more emotional than me when my cookies fall on the ground accidentally, also really long and tall like xiao

notes — @maaarshieee!!!! thank you so so so much for your request!! i really hope you like it! i did my best!! i really really love your works as well!!! I'll talk more at the end!!

words — 3,5k

MASTERLIST || REQUESTS

As Ayato stepped out of the Kamisato estate alone once more, his eyes drew to the grandeur of Inazuma's landscape. The lush forests stretched out before him, their leaves rustling in the wind like whispers of secrets. The rivers that flowed through the land sparkled like diamonds, reflecting the sunlight. Ayato couldn't help but feel a sense of freedom as he ventured out into the wild, like a butterfly breaking free from its cocoon.

During one of these escapades to the city, Ayato met you, the child of a relatively wealthy family. You were out on a walk with your family when you stumbled upon Ayato and his sister, Ayaka, exploring the city. You initiated a conversation, and before you knew it, you had become friends.

Together, the three of you spent your days exploring the natural wonders of Inazuma. You climbed towering cliffs that seemed to reach the sky, told stories of the gods and goddesses who watched over the land and wandered through verdant meadows filled with wildflowers.

Kamisato Ayato was a vision of grace and poise. As he walked, his lengthy, pale blue hair flowed behind him like a stream of moonlight. His eyes, a light purple, sparkled like amethysts in the daylight. His skin was as smooth and fair as porcelain, and a small mole under the left corner of his mouth added a hint of charming imperfection. He moved with a certain elegant ease, like a dance between the wind and the leaves. His smile was warm and inviting, like a ray of sunshine on a cold winter's day. He was the embodiment of beauty and nobility, and when he looked at you, it felt like everything around you melted away, leaving only the two of you in a world of your own.

As time passed, Ayato's responsibilities as the eldest son of the Kamisato Clan and future head of the Yashiro Commission began to weigh heavily on him. Despite this, he always found time to sneak out in the dead of night just to be with you. The regret of not being able to see you as much as he wanted led him to often find himself staring at the clock, counting the minutes until he could see you again. You became inseparable, and Ayato found solace in your company as you provided a much-needed getaway from the pressures of his future position.

But, when you reached your teenage years, you were forced to leave Inazuma to visit your family in other regions of Teyvat. You promised Ayato that you would return, but fate had other plans. News reached him that the ship you were on had been preyed on by a terrible storm and sunk in an unknown place, leaving Ayato devastated, believing that his childhood best friend had perished.

Years passed, and Ayato became the head of the Kamisato Clan and the Yashiro Commissioner, but he never forgot about you. He buried his feelings deep, knowing he could never be with you again. He threw himself into his duties, dedicating himself to the people of Inazuma and ensuring that the land remained prosperous and peaceful. But every night, before he closed his eyes, he would think of you and the memories you shared. The smell of wildflowers in the meadows, the sound of the river rushing by, and the warmth of the sun on your faces. These memories were like a balm to his soul, providing a moment of respite from his duties.

He would often find himself wandering the streets of Inazuma's city, lost in thought, taking in the sights and sounds of the city. The hustle and bustle of the marketplaces, the laughter of children playing in the streets, and the smell of fresh bread baking in the ovens. These were the same streets you had explored together as children, and they reminded him of the person he used to be, the person he was before the responsibilities of leading a clan consumed him.

But even as he dedicated himself to the people of his country, he never forgot about you. He searched for any information about the ship that had sunk, hoping against hope that you had somehow survived. He sent out search parties, but they all returned with nothing but disappointment. As the years passed, he came to accept that you were gone and that he would never see you again.

He built a life for himself, one filled with duty and responsibility, but there was always a part of him that was missing. A part that could never be filled by anything or anyone else. He knew that he would always carry a piece of you with him, and that piece would be a reminder of the love he had lost. But even though you were gone, you were still a part of him, and he would always hold you close to his heart.

He had tried to move on, but, like a seed that's trying to grow in rocky soil, he had never been able to let go of the memory of you. In the back of his mind, a voice constantly reminded him you were no longer by his side.

Every year, on the day of your birthday, Ayato would leave his duties as the head of the Kamisato Clan and the Yashiro Commissioner. He would make his way to the same areas and fields where you had once shared laughter and joy while feeling a profound ache in his chest. He would sit by the river, watching the water flow like his memories, remembering your happiness. He would visit the forest, where you had told each other stories of the gods and goddesses that protected the land. The tall trees seemed like a silent witness to the bond you had created, feeling the weight of your absence with each step he took. He always ended that day in the place where it all ended. His memory never let go of the exact words you spoke to him, the promise you had made to return as soon as you could so you could be with each other again, the garments you were wearing, how your beauty turned even the most beautiful star into a blur in the background. He would stand there, lost in memories, feeling the emptiness of your loss, holding on to the hope that you would return to him one day, but knowing deep down that it was unlikely.

Ayaka had watched her brother's heartbreak unfold every time since you were pronounced dead with everyone else inside the ship. She had seen the facade of perfection that Ayato constantly kept slipping away on that day, and there was nothing she could do but stand by and comfort him when it became too much for her to bear. Somehow, Ayato could never let go of you. Like a bird that had lost its wings, he felt lost, alone, and incomplete. He would often sit in silence, staring at the night sky, searching for the star that represented you, the one that would guide him back to you.

One day, an unexpected visitor came to the Kamisato Estate. The guards, used to the usual faces that frequented the estate, were taken aback by the appearance of a stranger at their doorstep. The person, who introduced themselves as [Name], was searching for the head of the Yashiro Commission with a sense of urgency in their voice as if the matters they had to discuss were of life and death importance.

The guard who stood at the door was skeptical of the stranger's claims, unsure of who they were and what business they had with the head of the Kamisato Clan. He couldn't shake off the uneasiness that crept up his spine as he asked Thoma to notify the Head of the Kamisato Clan of the visitor's arrival. The response he received was nothing short of a surprise, as the head of the Kamisato Clan wished to see this person immediately.

And so, as you walked through the gardens, memories of your childhood flooded back to you. They were still as lush and vibrant as you remembered, the flowers still as fragrant and beautiful as they had been all those years ago. Your heart ached with longing as you remembered all the days you had spent here, laughing and playing with the Kamisato siblings.

The closer you got to the door to Ayato's study, the more your nerves began to get a hold of you. Your hands were shaking, and your stomach was in knots. You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself, but it was no use. You were about to see the person who had been your best friend, your confidant since childhood.

Thoma announced your arrival after the guard opened the door, and you stepped inside. The room was well-lit thanks to the orange hues of the afternoon sun. Ayato sat at his desk with his head bent over a stack of papers. He looked up as you entered, and for a moment, you thought you saw a flicker of recognition in his eyes as he stood up from his seat and walked to the middle of the room before stopping in his tracks. He then dismissed the guard and housekeeper and asked them to leave the room, leaving you alone with him.

As the heavy door closed behind you, the room was enveloped in the thick silence, as if the air was holding its breath. The light filtering through the window caught the dust particles in the air, making them dance like fireflies in the day's end's glow. The rich wood of Ayato's desk seemed to shine in the warm light, and the delicate irises on his windowsill seemed to come to life.

You couldn't take your eyes off of him. He stood tall, his eyes fixed on you, taking in every detail of your appearance. Your heart was pounding in your chest, and your mind was racing with everything you wanted to say to him, but as you looked at him, you realized that words were not enough. The emotions you had kept hidden for so long were threatening to spill over, and you couldn't shake the fear that he might not recognize you, that he might not remember you after all this time. But you recalled those light purple windows to his soul that still held the same warmth and kindness that you had fallen in love with so many years ago.

You couldn't help but notice the way his tailored attire seemed to hug his frame, accentuating the strength he had gained from years of sword practice. His every move was calculated and controlled, but you could see the emotions swirling beneath the surface.

As he gazed into your eyes, the longing and love he felt for you stirred within him like a tempestuous storm. His chest felt heavy, and his throat constricted with the weight of unsaid words. He wanted to pour out his heart to you, to express the depth of his love and the extent of his eagerness to touch you, but the words refused to come. Instead, he stood there, silent and motionless, lost in you, conveying everything he couldn't put into words with a single, yearning gaze.

He took a step toward you, and it felt like time slowed down. You could see the way his chest rose and fell with each breath, the way his hands twitched as if he was struggling to contain himself. And then, he was in front of you, and the world seemed to fade away.

He reached out and took your hand, intertwining your fingers together, and you felt the warmth of his touch spread through your body. The tears you had been holding back spilled down your cheeks, and you couldn't help but let out a soft sob. He pulled you into his arms and held you tightly, and you felt like you were finally home.

His scent, the sound of his heartbeat, the feel of his arms around you - it was all too much. You clung to him, tears streaming down your face. You could feel his cries dampening your hair.

As the two of you stood there, the world around you seemed to fade away. The elegant office of the Yashiro Commissioner, with its expensive furnishings and décor, was nothing but a distant memory. The past and the future didn't matter at that moment, all that mattered was that the two of you were finally together again, and nothing would ever be able to tear you apart.

Ayato's grip on you tightened as he whispered your name, his voice choked with emotion.

The light filtered through the window, casting a soft, ethereal glow over the two of you as if the gods themselves were blessing your reunion. As the tears dried on both of your faces, you looked up at him, and he looked down at you. The love in his eyes was undeniable. You leaned in to kiss him and it was as if all that was left in the universe was you and the one you loved.

It was a kiss filled with all the yearning, passion, and pain that you had both kept storming inside for so many years, a kiss that sealed the promise of a lifetime together, a kiss that marked the start of a new chapter in your lives, one that was the answer to all the prayers and wishes you had ever made.

Slowly, you pulled away, taking another moment to stare at each other's faces as if you couldn't get enough of them. With tears glistening in his eyes, he reached out to touch your face, his fingers tracing the contours of your cheeks and jawline as if memorizing every inch of your front. His thumb brushed away a tear that had escaped down your cheek, and his eyes met yours in a gaze so intense it felt like it could set the world on fire. He held you like the most precious and delicate bird, "I never thought the day would come when I'd see you again. The thought of you never left my mind, even for a moment." he managed to choke out, his voice barely above a whisper.

As Ayato pulled you into another hug, the quiet room was bathed with the echoes of your breathing. The sound of his heart beating against his chest was a soothing lullaby, the rhythm steady and strong, a reminder that you were finally back in the safety of his arms. The familiar scent of his clothes enveloped you, a mixture of earthy spices and the brittle freshness of the outdoors, a comforting reminder of the past.

You began to tell Ayato your story, while he listened intently, taking in every word, every detail. His heart raced as you spoke of being swept away by the storm that had hit Inazuma all those years ago. He could feel the suffering and despair in your trembling voice, and it broke his heart to think of the struggles you faced.

With each word you spoke, the vivid memories of the storm that had hit Inazuma all those years ago came back to torment you, the trauma still fresh in your mind. You remembered the deafening roar of the winds as they battered the ship, the feeling of being lifted off your feet, and the cold envelop of the ocean as you were swept away. The next thing you knew, you were waking up on a distant shore, the waves lapping at your feet and the sand gritty between your toes. You were alone, and everyone else from the ship was nowhere to be found.

You described how you had stumbled upon a kind fisherman who had also taken your parents in. His small cottage was nestled on the edge of the beach, and the smell of saltwater and fish filled the air. He had been your savior, nursing you back to health with the help of his wife, who had provided you with a warm bed and a hot meal. He had even provided you with his boat, so you could journey to the closest place to your relatives.

You explained how you had heard the news that everyone had survived the shipwreck, but no one knew where they were or how to return home, scattered across multiple small islands in the middle of the ocean. The fisherman had helped you navigate the treacherous waters and eventually brought you to a nearby village, where you had sent word to your relatives about your survival. However, it seemed that the Kamisato estate had not received the news yet.

When you finished your story, tears streamed down his face as he muttered apologies, tears of sorrow for the pain you had endured, and tears of joy that you were back in his arms.

His head hung low with his expression filled with regret. The light coming from the windows cast shadows on his face, highlighting the lines of concern etched deep into his skin. He couldn't bring himself to look at you, consumed by the thought that he should have been there to protect you, to keep you safe from the storm that had taken you away.

You reached out, your hand gently lifting his chin until his eyes met yours again. "It's not your fault," you whispered, your voice soft and soothing. "You couldn't have known what would happen."

The warmth of your touch seemed to break through the shame that had consumed him, and he let out a deep sigh, the tension in his shoulders releasing. He looked at you, taking in the sight of you, so close and yet so far. It was as if he was seeing you for the first time, the memories of the past flooding back in an overwhelming wave. He closed the distance between you with one more kiss.

As Ayato's lips met yours, your fears seemed to vanish. The sun had just begun to set, casting a golden light over the Kamisato estate. The air was filled with the sweet scent of blooming flowers, the gentle rustling of leaves in the breeze, and the distant chirping of crickets. At that moment, it was just the two of you, lost in each other's embrace.

His arms wrapped tightly around you, pulling you closer to him. You could feel his heart beating in sync with yours, and it was like the two of you had always been meant to be together. You ran your fingers through his hair, feeling the soft strands between them. You could feel the warmth of his breath on your face as he deepened the kiss, and you knew that you never wanted to let go.

The two of you stood there, lost in the moment, for what felt like an eternity. The kiss was filled with all the love, longing, and longing that had been building up for years. The love that had been there since the day you first met. You could feel the tears streaming down your face as you finally let go of the pain and sadness that had been a part of you for so long.

When the kiss came to an end, Ayato pulled back, looking into your eyes with tenderness. He whispered to you, his breath sending shivers down your skin "My heart has been yours since the day we met, [Name], and my love for you has only grown stronger over the years. I cannot bear the thought of being separated from you again."

You promised him that you would stay by his side for the rest of your life, and you meant it with every fiber of your being.

Long after the moon rose, Ayato led you to a spot on the estate with a small pond surrounded by trees and bushes, and the water was so clear that you could see the fish swimming below. You sat down on the wooden deck, and Ayato sat beside you.

The two of you sat there for hours, talking and laughing, and it was as if no time had passed at all. He told you about everything that had happened while you were away, and you could see the dedication in his eyes to keep Inazuma even better than when you left.

As the night began to come to an end, Ayato turned to you and took your hand in his. He looked into your eyes and promised to love and protect you for the rest of his days. He swore that he would never let anything come between the two of you again and that he would spend the rest of his days making up for the time you had lost.

MASTERLIST || REQUESTS

WOW this was LONG LONG, i really wasn't expecting to write this much, so i really hope everyone enjoyed it, especially maaarshiee!!!

you really have no idea how much time this took, i literally didn't do anything else today LOL so I'm REALLY hoping this is a masterpiece of the century jkjk, but i think this could've been much better, there's a lot to improve, but i hope you enjoyed it anyway!

i'll be honest, i was never the biggest fan of ayato, but, you know, writing this made me feel a little something i might start reading some more ff about him

BUT OMG RECEIVING AN ASK FROM MAAARSHIEEE MADE ME WEAK LIKE YES I LOVE YOUR WRITING AS WELL PLEASE I HOPE THIS IS GOOD ENOUGH

anyways, besides me being a fangirl, i would like to thank everyone for your continuous support to my blog!!!!!! if you like my writing and genshin impact, i'd encourage you to see my masterlist! you might find something you like!

if there are any mistakes, i'll correct them tomorrow, I'm really tired rn!

thank you so much for reading!! have a great day/nigh, whoever and wherever you are!