#also hey bobbleheads are back!!!!

[anemonet]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT IM GONNA EXPLODE

[lanabuckybarnes]

| Handprints |

18+ Minors DNI

✧Pairing✧ Hugh Ransom Drysdale x Fiancé Reader (F)

✧Warnings✧ Soft Rannie, Jealousy, Some lil bitch flirting with what’s yours, Insecurities, Wow Ransom knows comfort??, Drinking, Crying, Assault (deserved), Unprotected PinV, Desperation, Dirty Talk, Multiple Orgasms, Aftercare King — This is pretty tame for me but if I’ve missed any warnings please don’t be afraid to let me know

✧Word Count✧ 1.4K

✧Author Note✧ Everyone say frick you to this man because I ain’t been able to get things done thanks to his stupidly handsome face and my brain hyperfixating on it. Fr tho I have WIPs, ideas and everything inbetween all left to rot because this son of a bitch is plaguing my mind. He’s so hot tho….

Also big thx to my homegirlies @samodivaa @delicatebarness for reading my filth and coming up with the title 🫶

You didn’t want to go out with Ransom tonight. You had your evening all planned out; sex in the shower, snuggling in bed, sex there too — the whole shebang. But of course, Ransom found himself invited to a dinner party with some old friends that he was excited to introduce you to, so your evening was cut short to merely sharing the shower with him and fleeting kisses between tellings of his long day — he didn’t even have time to make you cum.

The night was enjoyable; most of your fiancé's friends were just like him so you could deal with them. Until she arrived, her curves wrapped in a beautiful floor-length golden gown, her incredibly blonde locks curled to perfection and her eyes predatory.

“Oh my god Rannie!!” She squealed at the sight of your incredibly handsome man, outstretching her perfect little arms and pulling him in for a tight hug.

“Hey Charlotte” Ransom smiled wide, perfect pearly white teeth directed at the stunning lady “This is my fiancé” he said, reaching a large ringed hand out to envelop yours.

Charlotte turned, that cute little lady act dropping to a sneer when she turned her attention to you. Jealously oozed out of her, jealously and bewilderment. Her scrutinising glare made you feel ugly and small.

“Hey,” she forced, spitting your name back at you. Her hand squeezed Ransom’s bicep “Wow Ran you’ve gotten big…” her eyes flickered to him before returning to you “Did you see him in high school, he was so scrawny, skinny little arms and a big bobblehead. Bet you get a lot of girls' attention now hm?”

God you wanted the ground to swallow you whole.

“Maybe but I’ve only got my eyes on one” Your betrothed looked upon you with sparkling blue orbs, squeezing your hand tight. For a moment the party faded leaving you both staring into each other's adoring eyes until Charcuterie cut it short with a fake ‘awww’.

“Well, I’ll leave you two to it then,” she says, giving Ransom a bright, man-killing smile and you a much duller, green eyed glare.

“Well that went well.”

“Huh?” Ransom turns, pulling you close by your waist and laying a soft kiss on your forehead.

“She likes you,”

“Yuh huh?”

“And she hates me.”

“She doesn’t hate you” he guffawed, his eyes scrunching up until the blue was barely visible.

“She does, she’s jealous” you argued, pushing him away slightly.

“I think you’re projecting pretty girl” he joked, quickly reining in his laugh when he noticed how upset you looked. Ransom put on a more serious look, hooking a finger under your chin with his free hand “Baby, you’re the only person I want. I only love you” You knew that. There was just something in that girl's gorgeous eyes that made your whole mind thrum with insecurity.

“I know” You pouted and he kissed you with a coo.

“Of course you do, look at the size of that rock on your finger” For effect he clasped your left hand, shoving the massive crystal into your eyeline.

The rest of the night you tried to let the situation with Charlotte go. You stuck around your fiancé most of the evening, stealing his warmth while listening to his old college football teammate drum on and on about how good of a quarterback Ransom once was.

“I remember one game he got rushed to hospital trying to challenge this mountain of a man. He was on his ass and there was blood pouring out of his head.”

“That must’ve been why he thought it was a good idea to settle for someone like her, y’know with the head injury.” A loud laugh came from behind your small huddle, you knew who it was before you even turned.

“That was out of order Charlotte” a girl in your group chastised, glaring at the now very drunk woman.

“Oh I don’t care, you lot sugarcoat everything. Ransom you could do so much better than…that” Her ringed hand failed in your direction, and a growl settled on her lips at the mere sight of you. It was enough to push you over the edge.

Shoving Ransom’s arm off your shoulders you darted away, heading straight for the car you came here in. You had to get out of the crowd, you were thoroughly embarrassed and angry at the whole situation, fat tears falling down your face by the time you swung the passenger door open.

You don’t know how long it took Ransom to settle in the seat beside you, not too long anyway. Instantly his arms were around you, a hand cradling your head into his neck while the other rubbed up and down your spine.

“I'm so sorry baby, I’m so fucking sorry” His words were thick with remorse, his fingers tightening around you “We shouldn’t have come here.”

He let you cry until you ran out of tears, his arms wrapped around you tightly until you pulled away, sighing at the wet patch on his tan jacket.

“I’m sorry” you whispered in a low voice, rubbing a sleeve over his wet shoulder in a feeble attempt to dry it off.

“Don’t apologise, pretty girl, that's what I’m here for. For letting you cry on me…and for slapping whoever disrespects what’s mine.”

“What?” You gawked, red eyes wide at his words.

“I smacked the shit outta her, she’ll think twice about saying shit like that again.” He looked so nonchalant about the whole thing, a pout of sheer unconcern pulling on his lips.

You tried to look appalled at your man’s actions, letting your jaw hang low in astonishment, but it quickly dissolved, a smile breaking out and a shocked laugh bubbling forth.

“Oh my god Hugh Drysdale!!” You smacked his arm softly, giggling freely at just the thought of that blonde’s face with Ransom’s handprint on the side of it. “We gotta get out of here before she calls the cops.”

“Agreed.” He hummed, starting the engine and setting off down the road, singing away to your shared playlist.

“Fuck baby, fucking hell…”

There was a distinct schlick schlick sound coming from the ajar door of the massive house leaving a tiny part of your brain silently thankful for its size. The rest of you doesn’t give a flying fuck.

Ransom laid out on his back beneath you, face and chest flushed and his hair awry thanks to your wandering hands. His hands gripped at your hips, helping you bounce on his thick length, chasing your third orgasm of the night. Somewhere along the journey home your insecurities and jealousy fizzled into raw desire, your hands groping at Ransom while he drove. You barely made it through the front door before you jumped his bones, shoving him into the wall and swallowing his length with ease only experience would get you. Charlotte could never.

“Taking me like such a good girl—fuckkkk—yes baby squeeze my dick” Not only was he a mess physically, his brain had short-circuited after you straddled his body, ripping the belt from the loops of his pants.

“So full Rannie” you whimpered, collapsing onto your hands. Sweat dripped off your forehead and onto his body, you fucked him ferally like two people with nothing on the brain except each other — which wasn’t far from the truth.

“That’s it, good girl, gimme one more baby I know you can” Ransom urged, pushing himself into a sit and using the last of his brainpower to sink a hand between your joined bodies to rub tight circles over your puffy clit.

“She could never make you feel this good could she?” you gripped at his locks, moaning into his open mouth. Ransom’s head shook violently in your grasp, muttering out how you were the only woman in the world that could make him feel this euphoric. Your orgasm was approaching quicker and quicker, jumping over each mental hurdle until all that was left for your brain to think of was the man filling you to the brim.

“Fuck shit m’fucking close baby, gonna fill you up again, you want that huh? Want my cum in that messy little cunt?”

His words hooked your release between their clawed fingers and hurtled it into your body. Your world went white, your body stiffening and your walls milking the man below you for all he was worth. He spilt the last of what he could offer right against your cervix, holding you tight as he shouted like a madman.

The room settled, the only sounds being your mixed breaths gasping for air.

“That was good” Ransom chuckled, pulling out of your with a hiss and flipping you over “might need to make you jealous more.”

“Don’t you dare” you warned with a glare, sealing your lips with his when he leaned down, cleaning up the mess between your legs before dealing with his own.

“I really am sorry about tonight baby, you didn’t deserve to be spoken to like that” The brunette broke the silence that had overcome you both, his fingers massaging down your spine.

“It’s alright, she got what she deserved.”

“Yes” Ransom nodded, resting his weight against your back “and you got what you did too.”

I DO NOT give permission to have my work copied, translated or reposted. If you see my work anywhere else except on this page I have not given consent for it to be used.

Comments, Reblogs, Likes & Asks are always appreciated, although if you liked this fic please consider reblogging so it can reach a wider audience. They let me know that you are enjoying what you read and give me motivation to write more.

Thanks for reading~

[jae-bummer]

Irritably in Love

Request: hiiiihiiiii!!!!! would you write a story with seungmin from stray kids using the prompt where a non bias member confessed to you when your bias [aka seungmin] in also in the room?? the only additional thing i ask is no love triangle or poly situation. thankies🫰🏽

Prompt:

18) A member (who is not your bias) confesses to you while your bias is in the room.

Pairing: Stray Kids Seungmin x Reader

Genre: Fluff

.

"Come on, scaredy cat," Seungmin grinned, poking you in the cheek. "It's just a movie."

"A movie that has no effect on you because your weird little mind has already been warped," you grumbled, settling deeper into the couch beside him.

"It's okay, Y/N," Hyunjin hummed, appearing with popcorn that smelled suspiciously burnt. "You can hide in my shoulder if things get too intense."

Seungmin rolled his eyes as he looked up at the older member. "Then what happens when you get scared?"

"I don't get scared," Hyunjin laughed as he sat on the opposite side of you.

"Bug!" Seungmin shouted, pointing to the cushion beside Hyunjin.

Letting out an impressively high-pitched screech, Hyunjin flung the bag of popcorn to the floor before scooting directly into your lap. "Kill it! Kill it with fire!"

You couldn't help but laugh at Hyunjin's dramatics. It was an undeniable fact that he was the king of being fooled, so you weren't surprised that he played right into Seungmin's hands.

"Stupid," Seungmin cackled, pushing at Hyunjin's back in what appeared to be an attempt to get the taller boy off of you.

Hyunjin's panicked expression fell into a sheepish smile. Covering his face in his hands, he wiggled from side to side. "Protect me, Y/N!"

"How the tables have turned!" you joked, wrapping your arms around the noodle of a boy.

Glancing to Seungmin, you noticed an annoyed expression had worked its way onto his features. Avoiding eye contact, he stood, and went to pick up the popcorn pieces that Hyunjin had dropped.

While Seungmin's default mode could often be set at generally annoyed, it was never directed at you. For the entirety of your friendship, he was pretty wonderful, albeit it merciless when it came to teasing. That was one of your favorite parts about him though. He had a certain way of telling you about yourself that made you feel like you were in on the joke. You never felt singled out or targeted by his words, but just a victim of his love language. He was almost always on the defensive, but it was cute in an abrasive way (which may have been the best way to describe him as a whole).

If you hadn't had the self-control you did, you would have fallen in love with him a long time ago. With his demanding schedule, and your general aversion to thinking people could possibly have a crush on you, it was relatively easy. While you loved nearly every part of that bony, bobblehead of a man, you could be realistic. He would never see you that way.

Chewing on your lip, you looked back to Hyunjin who had apparently settled in for a cuddle. He glanced at you carefully, his face much too close for your comfort.

Hyunjin had always been a bit of an enigma to you. It was as if he existed on a separate plane that you could never quite understand. He was easily charming and extremely open. The two of you could talk for hours about nothing at all. You couldn't quite pin down the otherworldly nature of him, but you weren't sure if you needed to.

"Hey, Y/N," he said quietly, looking directly into your eyes.

You could see Seungmin go still in your periphery as he caught the hint of Hyunjin's whisper.

"Hey, Hyunjinnie," you said carefully, trying to gauge when the vibe around you had shifted.

Hyunjin slid himself backwards off of your lap and into the spot where Seungmin was originally sitting. Gathering his long legs to his body, he wrapped his arms around his calves, and settled his attention back on you. "I've been thinking about this for awhile..."

"Maybe you should think about it a little longer," Seungmin muttered, moving to sit down next to you. "We have a movie to watch."

"Seungmin," Hyunjin groaned. "Just give me a second."

"A second has passed," Seungmin said in monotone, tapping at the remote for the television.

"Y/N," Hyunjin tried again.

This caused Seungmin to groan and slump his body against the back of the couch.

You shifted your eyes back over to Hyunjin, waiting.

"I've been thinking about this theory for a while," he nodded slowly. "You know, how all of us are made from the same material as stars...and... I've really decided that our two souls, you and I, were born from the same star."

"Oh," you croaked, unable to move your eyes from Hyunjin's hopeful expression. You weren't entirely sure what he was getting at, but you had an idea.

"We're all made of star stuff," Seungmin grumbled. "I could be part of the same star as you, Hyunjin."

"No," Hyunjin insisted, shaking his head. Reaching out, he set his hand lightly a top of yours. "There's this feeling I get when I'm around you, Y/N. This completeness. It's fate that we've found each other millions of years after our star died."

"I can't," Seungmin gasped, launching up from the couch. "Absolutely ridiculous."

You watched as he shuffled toward the balcony, cursing quietly along the way. Pulling the sliding door open with a bang, he glared over his shoulder at Hyunjin before stepping out into the chilly night air and slammed it shut again.

"Hyunin, what are you trying to say?" you said quietly, now only able to focus on his fingers covering yours.

"I'm not trying to say anything," he chuckled. "I'm saying it directly. This is my confession to you, Y/N. Do you accept me?"

The truth you were trying to avoid was now outlined so plainly. Never in all of the time you had known him had you guessed Hyunjin could have a crush on you. It was a shock in a way, but with how romantic he was, it seemed on brand. You weren't even entirely sure if he liked you, or just the idea of you. That was the issue with Hyunjin. He was easily wrapped up in his own poetic ideals so much so that you weren't sure that he recognized they didn't necessarily apply here.

"Hyunjin, I-" you began, but were immediately startled by the thud coming from the direction of the balcony. Looking up, you could see Seungmin had pressed his forehead against the glass and was now staring intently at the two of you.

Shaking your head in an attempt to get your thoughts together, you looked back toward Hyunjin. "Do you really like me?"

"What?" he asked, furrowing his brows. "I literally just launched into a speech-"

"Which was very nice," you continued. "But also, were you thinking up those words before you met me and just happened to find someone that they might apply to?"

"I, uh," Hyunjin stumbled, confusion painting his handsome face. "Well, I mean, I've had dreams about who I thought I'd be with."

"I very much appreciate what you said to me," you nodded. "But Hyunjin, we're just friends."

"Friends," he repeated dumbly. "Right."

"I'm sorry," you whispered. Glancing toward Seungmin again, you could hardly stand the moody look covering his face as well. "I just...if I'm being honest, I have feelings for someone else."

Hyunjin looked up with a cringe. Catching the direction your eyes were staring, he let out a hiss of understanding. "Seungmin."

"Seungmin," you nodded in agreement.

"Well," Hyunjin sighed. "I guess I can't be too torn up. I should have known better, really."

"Thank you for baring your heart to me," you smiled sadly. "But I think you still have some stardust to reunite with."

"Maybe," Hyunjin grumbled. You could tell he was trying to act unbothered. "Thanks for letting me down in a nice way. I think it helps the crushing weight of being alone."

You let out a laugh. "Did it?"

"Not really," Hyunjin smiled tentatively. Finally taking his hand from yours, he pulled you in for a one-armed hug instead. "Go talk to him."

"Thank you," you said quietly.

"Yeah, yeah," Hyunjin grumbled. "You'll make it up to me sometime."

You nodded before pulling yourself off the couch. Your heart was fluttering in your chest, and you weren't entirely sure if you could handle the other half of this conversation so soon.

Seeing your approach, Seungmin stepped back from the door, and yanked it open. Stepping gingerly out onto the balcony, you slid it behind you again.

"Are you two strolling happily into the sunset?" Seungmin chuckled bitterly. Spinning so he wouldn't have to look at you, he set his forearms on the balcony railing.

"Quite the opposite," you hummed, taking a spot beside him. "I'm pretty sure I yeeted all of his hopes directly into the sun instead."

Seungmin's head swiveled toward you and his brow furrowed. "You didn't return his feelings?"

"Nope," you sighed. "I have feelings for someone else."

"Great," Seungmin croaked, looking away again.

After a moment of silence, he straightened and faced you. "Look, I know you weren't really expecting to hear two guys make a fool of themselves tonight but let me get this out."

You tried not to appear amused as you gave him your full attention.

"Y/N," he said sternly. "I never thought I would care about someone like this. I get it. Love is this unpredictable, unexpected...thing that just forces itself upon you, but frankly, it's been miserable."

You lifted your brows in surprise but remained silent.

"This feeling," he continued, his eyes searching your face. "This feeling that I have...it's going to explode out of my chest. It's too big. These emotions...they aren't even mine anymore. There is so much of you rooted in me that I don't even belong to me anymore and it's really very irritating."

This time you couldn't hold the huffed laugh that escaped from your lips.

"If you could just...please," he finally said, defeated. "Please either give my heart back...or if I'm lucky, give me yours instead. I know I'm annoying, and I know I can be prickly, but-"

As soon as his confession turned into whatever flaws he assumed he had, you wouldn't let it go on any longer. Closing the space between you while he was still in mid-sentence, you leaned forward and placed the lightest kiss on his still moving lips.

Well, that shut him up.

Looking at you with wide eyes, he touched his fingertips gingerly to his mouth and remained very still.

"Here I am," you smiled slowly. "Giving myself to you, as requested."

"I'm sorry," Seungmin said, his voice much hoarser than it had been previously. "Is this real? I just need to confirm I am not hallucinating."

You laughed as you reached up and cradled his cheek. "You impossible boy."

"Not hallucinating," he confirmed, placing his fingers lightly atop of your hand holding his face. "Maybe you should kiss me again just so we can make sure."

You chuckled as he rested his forehead against yours. "If that will convince you."

"Great," Seungmin said quietly. "I'm going to need to be thoroughly convinced, just saying."

[fandomworld9728]

The Runaway Witch - Chapter 1:

Dear sister,

I found myself in an interesting little town in the human realm.

It is very enjoyable. I have found a job that isn't all that exciting but reminds me of the work you do. It's like my own little taste of home.

"(Y/n)! Hurry and restock those shelves!"

Sighing, (Y/n) set her letter aside to finish later on. Even though the shelves didn't need restocking. Sometimes she thought her boss just liked to order her around. At least it was easy to look busy. It didn't help that she had a bit of a soft spot for the man. He just reminded her of her older sister sometimes.

"You know he only bosses you around like that because you so readily agree to the work."

"Isn't that what I'm getting paid for?"

Wendy may be able to get away with the lazy behavior at since she's a teenager and cooler than someone her age had any right to be, (Y/n) could not. She was a hard-working adult and took pride in everything she did.

"We all know it's because you got a crush on the boss."

"Wendy! I do not!"

"Are you kidding? It's all over your face."

Before she could retaliate, her attention was stolen by the adorable Pines girl Mabel. She was a ray of sunshine that this place needed and in the short time that the twins had been there, (Y/n) had started to think of them as her own family. Which made her miss her own family even more then she already did.

"He's looking at it. He's looking at it!"

"Uh... do you like me? Yes, definitely, absolutely?"

"I rigged it."

Going over to the girl hiding behind a shelf of Stan bobbleheads, (Y/n) crouched down next to her and whispered. "What are we doing?"

"Whoa!" Laughing, she gave the older girl a light push. "Hey. Stop scaring me like that."

"Don't be so easy to sneak up on then. Now, what are you doing over here you goof?"

"Mabel is once again trying to flirt with boys. I know she's going through her whole boy crazy phase, but I think she's kind of over doing the crazy part."

"What?!" Blowing a raspberry, Mabel went over to her brother to try and talk some sense into him. "Come on, Dipper. This is our first summer away from home. It's my big chance to have an epic romance."

"She's right. Summer romances are the most magical. Well... those and winter romances."

"See?!"

"Okay, yes, but do you have to flirt with every guy you meet?"

~

"My name is Mabel, but you can call me the girl of your dreams. I'm joking!" Shoving the boy a bit too hard, she sent him, and the postcard stand crashing to the ground.

~

"Oh my gosh, you like turtles? I like turtles, too. What is happening here?"

~

"Come one, come all, to the Mattress Prince's Kingdom of Savings!"

"Take me with you." Appearing in the middle of the ballons, Mabel whispered to the underpaid teen, making him scream and run away.

~

"Increases your chances."

"Yeah!" High fiving her, Mabel felt much happier. Finally, someone to get her. "Mock all you want brother, but I got a good feeling about this summer. I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through the door right now."

Much to Mabel's disgust and Dipper's amusement, Stan had walked through the doorway before burping. "Oh! Oh! Not good. Ow."

"Oh, why?!"

"More like the man of (Y/n)'s dreams!"

"What?" All three Pines asked, looking at her.

"Wendy! This joke isn't funny anymore!"

"Still seems pretty hilarious to me."

Seeing the cool teen now sitting at the register and reading a magazine, (Y/n) sneakily used her magic to make the stool tip back.

"Whoa! Ow. What the heck?"

"You girls stop being strange while on the clock."

"That's kind of my whole thing. Have you seen my hair and tattoos?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. All right, look alive people. I need someone to go hammer these signs in the spooky part of the forest."

"Not it!"

"Uh, also not it."

"Nobody asked you, Soos."

"I know, and I'm comfortable with that."

"Wendy! I need you to put up these signs!"

"I would, but I... uhh... can't... uhh... reach it." Not looking up from her magazine, Wendy half-heartedly reached for the wooden signs.

"I'd fire all of you if I could. All right, let's make it eeny-meeny-miney... you." Stan pointed at Dipper, intending to choose him all along.

"Oh, what?! Grunkle Stan, whenever I'm in those woods I feel like I'm being watched."

"Ahh, this again."

"I'm telling you, something weird is going on in this town. Just today, my mosquito bites spelled out beware."

Taking a look at the offered arm, Stan squinted at the odd bites. "That says bewarb. Look kid, monsters in the forest thing is just local legends drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that."

"I can do it."

"Oh, no you don't. I need you. We've gotten so many more costumers since ya started working here last year. Now, stop being paranoid!" Tossing his nephew the wooden signs, he went off to work on something else for the shack.

"Sorry, Dipper. I tried." 

"I know. Thanks for trying."

"Hey, let me know if you find anything out there. I'm writing a book."

"Will do."

Once her brother was gone, Mabel went about following (Y/n) like a cute little duckling while she worked. "So... you're cool and pretty. I bet you had a lot of boyfriends."

"Aww~ Thank you Mabel. But I didn't really have a lot of boyfriends. All the guys in my life have been... kind of weird. Even for me. But I did have some girlfriends."

Gasping, Mabel ran in front of her to stop her from walking. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! You like girls?!"

"I did not get that vibe off you."

"And you're gonna tease me about it?"

"Nope. But if any cute girls come in, I'll tease you about that."

"...I love you too, Wendy."

"Do you just like girls or do you like guys too?"

"My preference is guys. But some girls catch my eye." Moving around the pre-teen, (Y/n) went back to work. "Why so curious? You want some advice?"

"Well... is Wendy right? Do you like my Grunkle Stan?"

"Oh, not you too, Mabel. Don't you have a boyfriend to try and find?"

Next >

[apomaro-mellow]

Part 3

"You guys really don’t have to do this.”

“Yes we do”, Robin and Eddie said in unison.

Every once in a while Steve wondered if he had a type and this was not helping things. But he knew he’d never be able to stop them, so he just threw his hands up and went into the kitchen to finish helping Ms. Henderson.

“I can’t believe you made that book club homemade brownies”, he said as he wrapped a plate in plastic. “I mean, after what Sheila said...”

“Oh I can’t afford to burn any bridges there”, Claudia said. “Or else I’ll have to go back to the women’s bible study group.”

They both shuddered at the thought.

“Besides”, she continued, “It won’t be all bad for long. I’m planning a coup.”

Steve’s eyes widened. He didn’t know when he became the type that thirsted after book club drama but that’s the kind of guy he was now. Before he could ask her to spill the details, Dustin called from the living room that they were starting. He returned to the living room while Claudia took her brownies and was out the door.

“Your mom is going to war, did you know that?”

“I know, I gave her the idea”, Dustin said while shuffling some index cards in his hands.

“I think you’ve got more important things to worry about now”, Robin said.

“Seconded”, Eddie said.

Eddie and Robin sat on the couch next to each other. Dustin had a whiteboard with both of their names, ready to be tallied up with scores. And a handful of question cards, custom made for the occasion.

“This is ridiculous”, Steve said, standing behind the couch and leaning forward, hoping to talk some sense into everyone.

“I think you’re forgetting about the strange correlation between relationships and this game”, Dustin said. “Ever since that first round at the cabin, you and Eddie got together, Mike and El broke up, and now Nancy, Jonathan, and Argyle are in this weird, trio thing.”

“And while correlation doesn’t always equate to causation, this game seems a pretty decent measure for how well you know a person”, Robin said.

“And the stakes are too high to give this up”, Eddie said. He and Robin had been fighting over shotgun rights in the car as well as the prime real estate that was Steve’s lap.

Seeing an opportunity, Steve leaned in close to Eddie. “If I promise you a ‘good time’, will you give up the game?”

“You’re playing favorites again”, Robin complained.

Steve covered Eddie’s ears. “He’s just easier to bribe. You’re too pricey, Rob.”

“Hey, I heard that. You callin’ me cheap?”, Eddie accused.

“Can we get started with the game, please?”, Dustin brought them all back to the task at hand.

“Get ready to lose”, Robin started.

“Not on your life, Bucks.”

“Alright. First question: How does Steve spend his days off.”

“A jog, a big breakfast, then he spends the rest of the time lookin after you guys”, Eddie answered.

Robin looked at Steve incredulously. “You jog? On your days off? Steve, I think we might need a jock intervention.”

“It’s not just a jock thing. It’s a I can’t believe how many times I’ve had to run for my life thing.”

Dustin put down a tally for Eddie. “Next question: his go-to dancing song.”

“Take On Me!”, Robin nearly shouted.

Eddie raised a brow at Steve.

“It’s good head bopping music!”, he said defensively.

“Said the human bobblehead”, Robin teased.

“His worst date?”

They answered at the same time. “Lina Williams.”

Steve groaned. “I regret telling either of you now.”

“Who is Lina Williams?”, Dustin asked.

“Bad kisser.” “Chatterbox.” “Compulsive liar.” “Kind of a klepto.” “Won’t take a hint.” “But also never stops dropping them.” “Also a name dropper.” “Bad at head-”

“Okayokayokay”, Dustin stopped the duo’s back and forth. “That was more than I needed to know.”

The next few questions they both answered correctly as well. “Where is his grandma from?” “Describe his hair care routine.” “Favorite thing to cook?”

Steve looked at the scoreboard. They were still tied. He sat down between them and laid his arms against the back of the couch. “You know, I don’t see two competitors. I see two people who care about me very much and just want my attention.”

That made Robin pause. “When did I become the kind of girl who fought for Steve Harrington’s attention?”

Eddie stared into the distance. “Yeah...when did that happen?”

“Yeah, he kinda creeps into your heart, don’t he?” Dustin grinned. “Like a little stray.”

Robin nodded. “Like a little, wet stray.”

“Like a little, wet, sad stray.”

“Okay, feelin’ less loved here”, Steve said.

“Well let me give my stray a collar then”, Eddie smirked. “‘Cause I’m never lettin’ him go.” He leaned in the kiss Steve on the lips but then quickly went to his neck.

“Eddie!”, Steve protested in shock. “Eddie~”, he breathed out next, this one less of a protest.

Dustin covered his face and began voicing his own protests, as did Robin.

“We gotta have a rule for this, right?”, Robin said before removing herself from the couch.

“Yep”, Dustin said, still not uncovering his eyes. “We’re gonna bring it up the next time we have everyone. These two are not allowed within five feet of each other.”

“Dustin, make up your mind”, Eddie said when he came up for air. “Do you want me and Steve to get along? Or be apart?”

“This is like the wish you get from a genie. Or a monkey’s paw”, Dustin lamented.

“So are you two fine with calling it a draw?”, Steve asked.

Eddie and Robin shared a look.

“I call indefinite shotgun rights”, she said.

“Then that means his lap is reserved for me”, Eddie replied.

“Okay. Now that that’s settled”, Steve adjusted his position and Eddie immediately sat in his lap while Robin got comfortable at his side. “Dustin. Tell me about this book club coup.”

Dustin didn’t hesitate. “My mom’s gotten fed up with Sheila’s crap, right? And she’s not the only one. So she and like two other moms are going to...”

Steve didn’t know exactly when they’d all changed. Because there was definitely a time in his life where if you told him he’d be sitting in Dustin Henderson’s home, listening to the drama of middle aged moms, while cuddling up with a band geek and the school freak, he would’ve thought you were insane.

But somehow, someway, here he was. And there was no place he’d rather be.

END

Tag Team

@cassaloopa

@thefreakandthehair

@bidisastersworld

@eddiemunsonswife

@mixsethaddams

@lightwoodbanethings

@darkwitchoferie

@thebig-smoke

@captain-daryn

@hagbaby420

@bribopper

@mightbeasleep

@beeing-stuupid

@kill-me-in-my-dream

@onionanddeadgaywizards

@silversnaffles

@ineffablecolors

@urmomsbestie31

@shinekocreator

@thegingervulcan

@hotluncheddie

@spectrum-spectre @archerwithmanybows @henderdads @menamesniall @bornonthesavage @grtwdsmwhr @vi-the-best-you-can   @kardinalkalamity @leather-and-freckles @resident-gay-bitch @goodolefashionedloverboi @snowstar2368 @alienace @martzja @fangirltofangod @saramelaniemoon @lexyvey @ape31 @gay-stranger-things @beautifully-useless @freddykicksasses

[lovelytsunoda]

gimme! gimme! gimme! ( a man after midnight ) // marcus armstrong

summary: after graduating college and moving back home to sebring, florida to live with her parents, y/n becomes infatuated with the young man from new zealand who just moved in across the street

pairing: marcus armstrong x female! reader

warnings: money troubles, moving back in with the parents and losing the independence that comes with being a college student living on your own, parental expectations, difficult sibling relationship, implied smut,

author's note: why did it take me this long to write for marcus my beloved? i also kind of hate the ending but i wasn't sure where to end it soooooo

the sebring sun beat down against the road, heat waves visibly radiating off the pavement as y/n turned down on to the street where she grew up.

a street she swore she'd never come back to, until she realized that she couldn't afford to live anywhere else.

her manicured fingers tapped against the steering wheel in rapid succession as the bass guitar thrumming from the asking alexandria album she was listening to completely shook the chassis of her pickup truck.

well, her dad's old pickup truck.

a new car wasn't an expense that she could afford while she was away at school. but she loved that old truck like her life depended on it, right down to the squishy silicone alien bobblehead that sat on the dashboard, the stack of cd's that rested in the center console, the truck itself too old for bluetooth.

she turned on to her interlock driveway, defeatedly parking the truck behind her mother's five year old mercedes. she had just bought that car when y/n went off to school.

the y/l/n's weren't poor by any means: they still had money for family vacations, renovations on the house, to send their daughter to university. but they lived within their means, which meant budgeting out what was necessary and important and what was not.

and sometimes that meant making sacrifices. like moving back with your parents and younger sister after finishing your higher education pathway.

now she had a diploma, but no job, no house, no boyfriend and no prospects.

she cut the engine, deciding that it was better just to rip the band aid off now as she leaped from the cab of the truck, grabbed her backpack from the back seat and began the walk of shame to the front door.

"hey, mom." she said with a small, sad smile as her mother opened the front door, engulfing her in a warm, motherly embrace that made the smile on y/n's face grow a little happier.

"welcome home, sweetheart. let me go find your father and we'll help you bring your things inside."

ten minutes later, the y/l/n family, with the exception of y/n's sister shiloh, who was nowhere to be found, stood on the driveway with a foldable wagon cart from costco, unloading cardboard boxes and massive plastic tupperware containers from the flatbed of the old ford truck.

as nice as it was to be home, she felt like she was losing her independence.

she stacked a cardboard box in the cart before pressing up on her tip toes and leaning back to stretch her arms and her back, limbs still stiff from the drive in from tampa.

she paused to take a look around the neighborhood, taking in how much it had all changed. house prices had skyrocketed in the last ten years, and now the houses in the area were almost triple the price that her father had paid in the early nineties when he first bought the house.

but what really stuck out to her was the bright red high end mercedes amg sports car that sat in the driveway of the house across the street. the house that once belonged to the nice old woman that babysat y/n and shiloh when they were kids.

"who bought the noonan house?"

her father stopped moving boxes to look over at the house across the street. "oh, his name is marcus. great young man, he's about your age."

"he's my age and he can afford a house, while i have to move back in with you lot? that's absolutely fucking great." y/n groaned, looking back at the house. "and that car is at least three times the cost of mom's, and that's without the upgrade package."

her dad shrugged. "If you had taken my advice and gone into trades, that could have been you, kiddo."

"oh, fuck off."

"hey, watch your language." her mom warned, taking a tupperware container up to the front door. "he's a sweet, hardworking young man."

"what does he do for work?"

"he works in the automotive industry."

"and that's why you like him so much." she sighed, grabbing the handle of the wagon and following her mother back up to the house.

her father had always had big expectations for her. cars were the family legacy: her father's father had been the groundskeeper at sebring international speedway. her father had worked the assembly line at chevrolet before retiring and opening his own garage where he restored custom cars as a side hustle. she had been expected to also go into the automotive trade, as the son her father never had.

but that hadn't been what she wanted, as much as she loved cars. she'd been watching endurance races at sebring since before she could walk, and she learned how to use a monkey wrench before she learned what a curling iron did. her real calling was business. the four years of human resources training, and the diploma that had been mailed to her house had proven that.

she wasn't sure if her father had even hung it up anywhere.

she walked down the hallway, gingerly opening the pristine white door to her childhood bedroom. the walls were still painted the same pale purple, cluttered with canvasses that she had painted years ago, a twin bed in the middle of the room with a white down comforter and a pile of build a bears resting against the pillows.

"welcome home, y/n." she sighed to herself.

--------

three days later, the only peace that she could get was outside with the cicadas and the mosquitos. given sebring's proximity to the everglades, there was no small number of pests hovering in the muggy summer air as y/n pulled her hair back and popped open the hood of the pickup truck. there was a ratchet in her back pocket and a cropped, grease-stained white tank top.

any color darker than that and she feared she would get heat stroke.

she leaned over the engine, radio playing in the background as she began to fight with the engine's glow plugs, which she had been meaning to replace for almost a week.

"stupid fucking glow plugs. they're the easiest thing to replace, he said. it's easier to do it yourself, he said. well, why don't you fucking do it yourself, father dearest." she muttered, losing grip on the ratchet again and trying not to kick at the tyres. "motherfucker."

her head was still under the hood when the guest came strolling up her driveway.

"do you need help with that?"

"no, i don't need help, especially not from a man." she snapped, turning to look at the man standing across from her. "i can change a glow plug myself, thank you very much."

the man smirked. "well, i don't even know what a glow plug is, so you already know more than me."

withdrawing from the engine block, she twirled the ratchet in her hands as she turned to look at the man. "where's that accent from?"

"new zealand. i'm marcus, i live across the street."

she narrowed her eyes. this kiwi beanpole was the man that her father was so entranced with? this beanpole who didn't even know what a glow plug was worked in the automotive industry?

"y/n. my father speaks highly of you." she nodded in the direction of marcus' house. "you bought the noonan house? mrs. noonan was my babysitter, you know. from when i was five until i was fifteen. i loved that old woman."

"your dad did all the interior work for me. he's a craftsman, that's for sure." marcus nodded along. "back from uni for a few weeks?"

she'd deny it if you asked, but that statement cut deep. what hurt even more was that she would have to admit to him that she was moving back in with her parents. that she couldn't afford to maintain her independence, stand on her own two feet.

"actually, i just moved back home for good. i can't afford to move out." she sighed, moving to sit on the front steps of the house. "i forgot how hard my family was to live with. i've only been home for three days and i swear i've come this close to strangling shiloh. have you met shiloh yet?"

marcus laughed. "she's a firecracker. i don't think she likes me very much."

y/n grinned, inviting marcus to sit next to her. "she's sixteen. i don't think she likes anybody. ever since she dyed her hair black and got her nose pierced, she's been a different person. a person that i don't know how to relate to any more."

"i'm sure she'll come around. my sister is like, the complete opposite of me. paris thinks i'm full of shit half the time, but we love each other still. i know paris will always be there for me, and i'll always be there for paris."

y/n gestured at the car in marcus' driveway. "so how does a guy like you afford an amg and a three bedroom family home? because you sure as hell don't work in the automotive industry."

marcus raised an eyebrow, a small gesture that made her stomach do somersaults for reasons she couldn't explain. "what makes you so sure?"

"you didn't even know what a glow plug is. all diesel engines need them to run. i learned that when i was twelve years old, you would have learned in high school auto shop. so what do you really do? stripping? black market drugs?"

the kiwi laughed, throwing his head back. "i'm a podcaster, and i work in racing. telling your dad i worked in the auto industry seemed like the best way to get on his good side. he's a good contractor."

racing. something that once brought her so much joy but now left a bad taste in her stomach. she hadn't been to the speedway since she moved out.

"racing is in my blood. i was raised at the track because my grandfather was the groundskeeper. i remember watching the indycar race on his shoulders when i was seven years old, a chip ganassi hat that was three sizes too big resting on my head. i couldn't see a thing." she smiled at the memory. "my dad worked the assembly line at chevy, with some contracting on the side once he learned my mom was expecting me. after he retired he started restoring custom cars part-time, and i think he always hoped that i'd take on the family business with him."

"and you didn't?" marcus seemed surprised. obviously he expected that the girl in the skimpy top and cutoff shorts and the astrology tattoo on the inside of her wrist who cursed like a sailor when things didn't go her way would feel right at home in a garage, ratchet in her hand and wrench in her back pocket.

"i went into human resources. i couldn't stay in a garage all day, breathing in grease and lead paint day in and day out, wondering if things could have been different."

"do you regret it?"

she sighed, biting her bottom lip in a motion that sent a rush of energy through marcus' body. "i don't know yet."

as the silence became awkward, y/n got to her feet again, reaching out a hand to help marcus up. "come on, you're going to learn about glow plugs today."

----------------

"shiloh, can you keep it down?" y/n shouted, staring numbly at the resume on her computer screen. nobody told her that she'd be graduating without a single prospective job offer, and now she was scrambling to find a proper hr job, otherwise she'd end up working the counter at white castle.

she was in the basement, at the table she used to use to finish assignments in high school. the floor, once shining hardwood, was now adorned with rice mats for her sister, who was currently cycling through her second workout video, the basement filled with the younger girl's grunts and the sounds of weights knocking against the padded floor.

"i'm trying to do my workout." shiloh answered coolly. "i have a tournament in three weeks."

"i don't give a fuck, shiloh, i'm trying to find a job so that i don't have to live with mom and dad until im thirty years old."

shiloh rolled her eyes, turning back to her kettle bell weights. "they're always hiring at sonic burger."

"i'm not working in fast food for the rest of my life, jackass! i spent thousands of dollars trying to get this goddamn degree and now i can't even use it for anything!"

"should have listened to dad and gone into the trades. maybe you aren't trying hard enough."

"shut the fuck up, shiloh!"

"girls!" mrs. y/l/n called. "what is going on down here?"

shiloh pause her youtube video, getting to her feet. despite the four years between them, shiloh towered over her older sister, and was often confused for the older one. "y/n keeps interrupting my workout."

y/n gawked. "i was here first! and i'm trying to get a job, at the only damn desk in this house, and shiloh can't even give me ten minutes of peace because it's 'her routine' and i'm 'being disruptive'."

"well, your sister's workout is important. she's a high performance athlete."

"i don't give a shit, mom!"

"language, y/n! go upstairs and work at the dining room table, stop fighting with your sister. you've only been back home for a week!"

"yeah, ande it's like you don't have space for me here anymore!" y/n shouted, slamming her laptop shut and running up the basement stairs, trying not to cry.

this is the last way she expected her life after college to go: hunting for jobs in her moms basement, her sister telling her that she wasn't trying hard enough to get hired anywhere other than a fast food restaurant who would hire anybody off the streets during the busy months.

she couldn't even stand to be in that house, walking right out the front door and striding across the street to the noonan house without even looking to see if there were any cars on the road.

she walked past the mercedes, hand curled into a fist as she knocked on the front door, hoping and praying that a certain podcaster was home.

"y/n?" marcus' voice was soft and concerned after he opened the front door. "what are you doing here?"

"can i get some work done here? i'm trying to fix my resume so that i don't end up working at white castle for the rest of my life and i can't get anything done with shiloh around."

“of course,” marcus laughed “I’ll open a bottle of aperol spritz?”

"god, yes!" she breathed out, stepping into marcus' front hall and slipping out of her flip flops before she followed him into a large open concept main room, a kitchen island running down the middle. the back wall had been all replaced with sets of french doors that were more window than door, letting light into the bright, modern space.

"you're house is incredible. i don't think mrs. noonan updated this place since the sixties."

marcus chuckled, grabbing a glass wine bottle from the counter. "don't i know it. the master bathroom still had a green toilet. a green bloody toilet."

"oh god." y/n laughed, sitting at the island and opening her laptop. "can i trouble you for the wifi password?"

once marcus got her hooked up to the internet, she pulled up her cv, looking at the sad, small list of qualifications she had. she'd been lucky enough that she hardly ever had to work over the summer or in high school. everything on her resume were the community service hours she was required to get to graduate secondary school and the one paid position she did for the town of sebring three years ago.

"i'm never going to get a fucking job, am i?" she groaned quietly as marcus passed her a wine glass filled halfway with aperol spritz. "i'm going to be working a fast food counter at an all night mcdonalds."

"you could always work for me." marucs shrugged. "not to brag, but i just signed a major indycar deal with chip ganassi and i'm trying to expand my team, both with podcasting and racing."

"hang on, podcasting and racing?" y/n blinked, looking up from the screen, blue light still glowing onto her floral patterned shirt. "you're a racing driver? you could have mentioned that!"

marcus laughed as y/n reached over the counter to swat at his arm. "what? i assumed you would have googled me!"

"i have better things to do than google my neighbours!"

"i'm being serious, look me up right now."

y/n rolled her eyes before typing marcus' name into the search bar (after bothering him for his last name, which she realized she didn't already know).

"well shit. i'm staring at the newest driver of the ridgeline lube chip ganassi number 11 indycar."

"i told you." marcus grinned goofily, taking a sip of his drink. "seriously, you said you went into hr? we'll need someone like you to be on the podcast team for screaming meals."

y/n smiled softly at the boy across from her. the boy who had already lived more life than she could ever have dreamed of. "yeah, okay. maybe i'll take you up on that."

----------------

it was the first time she had been alone in the house all week, and she was ready to take advantage of that fact.

all week she had been back and forth between the childhood bedroom she was trying to redecorate and marcus armstrong's living room. many a night had been spent sleeping on his couch after a night of shitty comedy movies and cheap supermarket wine.

no, her parents and shiloh had left before six in the morning to take her to a cross country meet in daytona, and they wouldn't be back until well after ten p.m.

the silence was nice, she thought to herself as she paced the house in her soft cotton robe, the hem barely covering her ass, a warm, almost empty mug of hot chocolate in her hands as she drained the last dregs of laura secord and placed the mug on the kitchen counter.

she shut the bathroom door behind her, the heating tubes underneath the tiles warming her cold feet as she connected her bluetooth speaker, 'just like a pill' by p!nk echoing around the room as she leaned into the shower, trying to run the water warm.

the shower sputtered, weakly spitting out three drops of lukewarm water.

"oh for the love of god!" she groaned, pressing her head against the glass shower door. "the one fucking day i have the house to myself."

she sighed, lying down on the floor and opening the doors to the cabinet under the sink. there was a problem with the pipes, the one thing that she couldn't fix (and also didn't want to risk making worse, with things between her and shiloh being particularly tense). cursing under her breath, she reached for her phone.

"hey, marcus. can you come over? there's something up with the pipes in the bathroom and my shower won't start. you wouldn't happen to know how to fix that, would you?"

on the other end of the line, marcus laughed. "funnily enough, that's probably the one thing your dad taught me that he didn't also teach you. let me go and commence the wild goose chase required to find a tool box in this house, and i'll be there in ten minutes."

"you're a lifesaver, armstrong."

true to his word, ten minutes later, marcus armstrong was lying on her bathroom floor, shirt riding up to showcase his perfectly toned abs, muscles rippling under his skin as he tinkered with the pipes. it was taking every bit of self-restraint that y/n had not to cast aside her bathrobe and ride marcus on the heated floor.

she swallowed the thought, closing her eyes as she mentally chastised herself for thinking about her neighbor, and only friend within in a ten mile radius, like that. feeling her nipples hardening under her robe, she crosssd her arms over her chest (and her legs over each other, to try and deal with other issues) in an attempt to hide her arousal from the kiwi.

"i think i've got it!" marcus shouted. "try the shower now!"

grateful for the distraction, she padded over to the massive shower, reaching inside and turning the dial to warm. she let out a sigh of relief as the shower started up, warm water cascading down the rainhead and swirling down the drain.

"marcus armstrong, i could kiss you right now." she beamed, turning back to the man, who was now leaning against the doorframe. "thank you so much. there has to be something i can do in return."

marcus swallowed, realizing now how small the bathroom truly was, despite the size of the rather large shower. and with that realization, he also realized how close to y/n he was standing.

and he could also see the outlines of her nipples poking through the cotton robe, a sight that made him draw in a breath.

he wasn't supposed to think about her like this. not with the season coming up, and her about to start working for him in the screaming meals production department.

it wasn't proper.

but why did it feel so right?

neither of them said a word, marcus' hand coming up to caress the side of her face. refusing to spend any more time overthinking it, he kissed her first, cradling her bottom lip in between both of his.

what started out as a sweet, gentle kiss, quickly became hot and heavy, hands wandering under shirts and robes falling to the floor, shower still running behind them as marcus palmed y/n's ass, a small, sugar-sweet moan leaving her lips.

"you have no idea how long i've wanted to do this." marcus breathed, voice husky as he fumbled with the belt on his jeans. "every time we've watched a movie on my couch, i've wanted to pull the blankets over both of us and take you right there. they day you came running over to my house after shiloh was giving you shit, i wanted to kiss you and tell you everything would work itself out."

"well, now's your chance, armstrong. the shower is big enough for two."

__________

"marcus, can i ask you something?"

two rounds later, they were lying in y/n's bed, the plush white duvet pulled around their bodies. it was a tight squeeze, getting them both to fit on the twin sized mattress. her build a bears had been unceremoniously shoved onto the laminate floor.

"whats on your mind, pretty girl?" marcus asked softly.

"how are we going to make this work? i live with my parents and my teenage sister, for god's sakes. i'm back under their curfew, sleeping in a twin bed in a room that hasn't been redecorated since i was seventeen."

marcus kissed her on the forehead softly, moving to lace his fingers with hers, his hair still damp and ruffled form the shower. "we try, as simple as that. we'll find you a job, and you can stay over at mine however often you want. i can't promise your parents that you'll be back by the time curfew hits, but i can promise them that you're safe with me. and who knows, if this goes really well, maybe you could even move in with me."

y/n laughed softly. "hold your horses, racer boy."

"i'll hold the horses back as long as it takes for you to realize that i'm hopelessly in love with you."

[azzydoesstuff]

azzy's guide to lethal company

goober bug

friend shaped

just a lil' guy

collects shiny stuff

don't take its shit

ouppy

stinky

lil' poopster

he don't bite

scary man

take a little peek but dont stare!

he has anxiety so he struggles with prolonged eye contact

if you don't watch your back he'll sneak up on ya and give you a big hug

i'm sure he's a nice guy really

oh fuck the BEES

take their hive for shits and giggles

OH FUCK THEY'RE ZAPPY AND SHIT

have killed more new players than fuck-all

spidore

ew

what the fuck is that

beat the shit out of it

roach

jumpscare warning

MMMNMMMPPHPHH

get the fucking chancla

tge fucking BUPPY

no walkies

always responds to his name

or any name actually

woagh!! you didn't tell me you had a little beast in your home!

a fuckiknhg. eouppy. a ligl frsiggn BEPPY.

the ooze

THE GLOB!!!!!

made of hydrochloric acid

you can bonk him with a shovel but it won't do you any good

sand worm

ripped right outta a sci-fi movie

drop all your shit and fucking MOVE it

pray

looks like a giant condom

baboob cocks

fucking angry pussy

literally fucking gang violence

aye tommy... gimme one-a dose uh... gold bahs, will yah?

land shark

run

i fucking hate you

bobblehead

boioioioioing

wins every staring contest

i'm fast as fuck boi

treeple (tree fucks)

the big man on campus

chews with his mouth open (ewwww!!!!!)

me when i FUCKING GET YOU

run like you fucking mean it, little bitch

it's always slightly faster than you

also i fucking hate these things with a scorching passion

merry christmas!

creaky footsteps

wants to wish you a merry christmas!

walk up to him and he'll spread his jolly cheer

just like santa claus, he's always watching you

so don't be naughty and stay up walking past your bedtime, or you're getting a handful (mouthful) of coal (hot lead)!

"what is th- is that a gun!?"

OW MY EARS

wallop him in a holly jolly scuffle and be rewarded with his merry presents! (it's a gun)

normal human being

hey guys it's me your teammate

let me walk over to you i swear nothing bad will happen

guys these theater masks are the latest style you should try them on

the funny box

living pipe bomb

listen to my tune

GET OUT get the FUCK OUT

big ass forehead

your forehead is LARGE. like, EXTREMELY massive

you could play tic-tac-toe on that shit bro

you made fun of her forehead, now she's surgically removing yours

"huh, i wonder for whom the bell tolls" FOR THEE.

[diskaywrites]

Can't Be You

𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐀𝐧𝐨𝐧 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐒𝐚𝐦𝐢 𝐙𝐚𝐲𝐧 𝐱 𝐉𝐞𝐲 𝐔𝐬𝐨 𝐌𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐎𝐟: 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐨, 𝐉𝐃 𝐌𝐜𝐃𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐡

As soon as Sami Zayn had heard the grunts and groans of a fight in progress, he had stopped the interview he was in the middle of dead in its tracks. Maybe it was just who he was at his core. If someone needed help, he was always ready to extend a hand. So here he was, moving quickly down the dimly lit hallway to watch as two of the members of the Judgment Day launched a vicious attack on...

"Hey!" Sami shouted the moment he realized just 𝒘𝒉𝒐 was on the other end of the human bobblehead who the Raw roster had the misfortune to work with's attack. He launched himself at the Irishman, trading punches with the man before launching him backwards onto the overturned production crate behind him. Sami perched on the man's chest, knee pressed down hard as he landed heavy fists to the Irishman's ugly mug. It wasn't until Carlito pulled the man way that Sami tried to regain his breath, panting heavily as he put a hand on the broad shoulder of the initial attack's victim, "You good, uce?"

The snarl that left the throat of Jey Uso let Sami know that no, the man was not good.

"I didn't need your help," Jey grunted as he tugged away from the arm that Sami had wrapped around his shoulders, eyes unable to meet Sami's gaze. "I would have been fine."

Sami shook his head, a sharp breathy laugh leaving him. "Really? Because to me it, uh, it seemed like you would have been laid out on that crate?"

"I didn't need 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 help," Jey reiterated, trying to storm down the hallway and past Sami. He didn't get very far down the hall before collapsing to one knee. Sami rushed to his side, pushing himself under Jey's arm so that he was supporting the others weight. "Don't you listen, man? I said I don't-"

"Yeah, I know what you said," Sami shook his head, "I also know what I saw. And from what I saw? You needed help. Why couldn't it be from me?"

"Cause...I..." Jey's statement was mumbled into a wince as Sami led the way towards the medic's office. Sami was almost certain he had heard the words in that mumble, but his head was swimming with the nearness of the other. He could smell the undeniable scent of Jey that had been missing from his life for too long, coconut oil for those black locks that were always so well maintained and the sandalwood of his body wash. How many nights had that smell been on Sami's mind as he drifted off into a sleep filled with dreams of the man who had made his time with the Bloodline bearable? "Can't be 𝒚𝒐𝒖."

"Look, I know we may not be on the best terms, but you have no reason to hate me," Sami tried to fight back, "all I've done is-"

"Is be 𝒚𝒐𝒖," Jey closed his eyes, almost stumbling if it weren't for the fact that Sami was supporting most of his weight, "And do you not know how perfect you are?"

Sami's brown eyes widened in confusion, "Do I not know...how...𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕?!"

"God, you are oblivious," Jey's charming smirk was paired with a little chuckle, "you are...I...can't look weak in front of you cause it's 𝒚𝒐𝒖. I'm supposed to look strong in front of you. I'm supposed to be out here saving 𝒚𝒐𝒖."

Sami let a loud laugh leave him, "I'm sorry? You're supposed to save me? Gosh, you can be so dense! You'd rather be attacked than have me save you for some stupid sense of pride?"

"Sounds about right," Jey winced as they finally reached the medics room, "easier for me to deal with, right? Better than telling you that I-"

"Feel the same way about me that I feel about you?"

It was Sami's turn to feel embarrassed, but if they were letting each other past their walls it was only fair. There was a silence between the two before Jey leaned over and pressed a kiss to Sami's bearded cheek. "Maybe we can have a full conversation later, yeah?"

"Yeah," Sami pressed his fingers to his chest, as if trying to calm his once again racing heart, "Yeah we can talk later."

[deatheless]

@huntrhaunt sent: i've never been good at connecting dots. / accepting.

❛ i know, but — ! ❜ her sentence cuts off with another round of giggles, mina's cheeks pink with laughter as she leans her head against marcy's shoulder. she's been laughing for a few minutes already, and it seems to be showing no signs of stopping ( especially when it means she can keep clinging to their arm and pressing her cheek into their shoulder like this ).

in their defense, they do freely admit this. and she does know this about her, and it's something she finds deeply, deeply endearing about marcy. but she can't pretend this isn't also kind of hilarious. they've been friends — and they've been ... whatever they are now — for how long now? and it took hearing one of her songs on her car radio for it to finally really click?

❛ you really — ❜ another inhale, and she swallows back another laugh in an attempt to catch her breath properly, ❛ you really never thought, like : hey, i have a friend named amina who's a musician, who i met while she was on a tour, and also i keep hearing people talk about this singer named amina, wonder if it's her? like never once? marcyyyyy ... ❜ she draws her name out teasingly, punctuating it with another giggle, before she smushes her face further against her shoulder with a fond and very squishy smile. her arms wrap around her middle, hugging her tight and lovingly jostling her from side to side like a bobblehead. ❛ it's cute. i dunno how you avoided finding out for this long, but maybe this is a sign you gotta start playing my stuff at work, huh? ❜

[bigtinytoys]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Hey Arnold Mini Bobblehead Figure Nickelodeon Collection Toy Nostalgic Charm.

[peculiarpatches]

𝙃𝙖𝙧𝙡𝙚𝙮 𝙌𝙪𝙞𝙣𝙣 𝙭 𝙁!𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧: 𝙅𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙤𝙪𝙨𝙮

       This is my first time writing  a Dom&Sub GXG so please be nice to me. This involves smut. Dominate Harley, submissive reader. Slapping, spanking, dirty talk, oral, fingering. I just watched Birds of Prey and thought of this halfway through, so, lmao. I hope yall like it. And remember, feedback is appreciated so please give a ‘like’ and or reblog. It’d mean the world to me. Also, if you have any suggestions, just message me and I might write them! :) lots of love. xx

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

Harley was trying, damn it. Give her some credit, cut her some slack.  Try as she may, the anger and jealousy only continued to bubble up, no matter how hard she tried to swallow it down, it kept rising in the back of her throat, eager to come out and explode everywhere. That and it might be a bit of bile, too.... as gross as that may be, more than likely, yeah, it was a mixture of both. 

Harley had been drinking a lot of liquor as if the clear substance poured in the small glass shots were water rather than vodka. 

 Harley bit on her bottom lip so hard she could taste blood on the tip of her tongue. So, she continues. 

 Continues to drink until she feels every other emotion besides the bitterness feeling she was getting as she watched her best friend, (Y/N) on the dance floor.  (Y/N) and Harley were like two peas in a pod, inseparable those gals were. You'd never see Harley without (Y/N) by her side, the same way with (Y/N). They were attached  to each other like glue. 

Expect of course, right now, they were not. Harley sat, sulking, at one of the back booths of the club, eight empty glasses pushed aside, her hands holding up her face as she pouts and huffs to nobody other than herself.   

"I came here to have fun with her, not her to have fun without me," Harley whined, the pout on her face only growing bigger. Groaning, she facepalms  and shook her head from side to side, feeling frustrated tears starting to build in the corner of her eyes but she blinks them away before they could reveal themselves.  

 Her head snaps forward, so fast she swears she gets whiplash, when she hears (Y/N)'s laughter fill the air. Her laugh always caused goose bumps to bite at her skin and a chill to run up and down her back. Harley shivered as if she were cold but that was far from reality.

 In reality, Harley suddenly felt hot.  It felt as if she was on fire. 

Then she realizes, there's no use in trying to stop these feelings or try to push them away. They were bound to come out sooner or later.  (Y/N) was hers. Nobody else's.  End of story. The two have hooked up before, all of which the two were either really drunk and or had one too many pot brownies, but they have gotten together before.  

And as of right now, Harley was going to show (Y/N) just how better off she is with Harley by her side rather than some six feet muscular guy that (Y/N) was currently grinding up against. Harley growls as she stands up, trying her best not to fall as she exits out of the booth and pushes people out of the way before finding (Y/N).  "C'mon. We're leaving. Now." Harley barked, painted fingernails curling around (Y/N)'s wrist. "Well, hey there, good lookin', might I ask what you're doing, stealing away this beaut from me? If you're jealous, don't fret, love. There's more of me to go around. Sharing is caring, ain't that right, babydoll?" Harley's blood boils at the pet name he gives to (Y/N) and before she realizes it, her fist comes in contact with his face and her leg rises up as she kicks him in the groin.  "I said we're leaving." She spits.    

Taking (Y/N)'s hand, Harley drags her through the whispering crowd, half of the people laughing at how a man that tall and muscular so easily dropped to the floor with one swift movement, both from the hand and leg; others taking their phones out and snapping pictures of the scene.  Harley didn't care if people gave her glares as she walked past. Harley could care less.  She drags (Y/N) towards the back exit door, kicking it down as she then marches down to her apartment complex which wasn't even a foot away from the club. She's practically dragging (Y/N) behind her like a rag doll but she didn't care. All she cared about was showing (Y/N) who she belonged to. Once the door was open, Harley twirls around and bends forward, picking the girl up before walking inside  the small space that she called 'home'. It wasn't much but she loved it, regardless. Harley drops (Y/N) on the couch before crawling up and over her body, pinning her arms above her head.  During this whole 'meltdown' (if that's what you want to call it) (Y/N) remained quiet. As quiet as a church mouse. She didn't dare utter a single word, didn't dare say anything. She was either too drunk or too scared to speak.  "Babygirl," Harley's voice isn't soft and sweet, but sinister and cold. (Y/N)'s breath hitches and she shudders as Harley holds her face with the palm of her hand before backing her with it, earning a small gasp to spill out from (Y/N)'s lips.  

"You are in trouble, do you understand? You and your slutty fuckin' self. Who do you think you are, grinding against another man as if you want a cock when you already have a plastic one at home? Besides, is my tongue and fingers not cutting it out for you anymore, sweetheart?" Harley's  words were laced with malice and held as much venom as an Inland Taipan. 

"Don't you know who you belong to? You're mine. Always was, always will be. It's about time you realize that." Her voice is loud, booming, really, it causes (Y/N)'s ears to ring from how loud her best friend was being but all of it - the anger, the bottled up jealousy and affection exploding out of her - sent a shiver down her spine. It was also making her soaked, dripping with wetness. 

 "F-Fuck..." it's the first thing she's said all day and a bit of Harley is thankful the girl still knows how to speak, that she didn't totally scare her off with showing her dominate side.  "I'm really sorry, Harl-" "No." Harley cuts her off, pressing her fingertips to (Y/N)'s lips, smearing lipstick all over her fingers as she does so.  "You know what to call me." Harley stood up, crawling off of her best friend as she points to the couch. "Lay on your stomach, ass hanging in the air. You're getting a spanking." (Y/N) feels  warm and tingly all over and she's sure it's a combination of both being so turned on and drunk.  Either way, like a good girl, she follows orders. "Mistress..." Her voice is weak, barely above a whisper.  "I really am sorry." Her voice shook, as well as her body; every part of her was trembling and shaking. It wasn't out of fear, fuck no - she shook with nothing but excitement.    Harley shakes her head, rolling her eyes as she watches how horny - how desperate - (Y/N) was.  "Look at you, sprawled all out, legs separated, all for me to taste and to enjoy." Harley runs her hand over (Y/N)'s skirt, lifting the fabric up and touches the outside of her panties, loving the way the lace feels underneath the tips of her fingers. She was always a sucker for lace.  

Harley pulls her panties down, slowly peeling it off of her thighs and down to her ankles. Licking her lips, Harley smiles a seductive grin, her own wetness pooling inbetween her thighs.  (Y/N) was beautiful, without a doubt. 

More and more, each second of each passing day, Harley found herself falling more and more in love with the girl.  She loved everything about the girl. She could list off everything, tell all of it to (Y/N) but that'd take way too long and she felt as if time was running out and all Harley - really - wanted to do was taste (Y/N) on her tongue, in her mouth.  

Harley guides her fingers across (Y/N)'s ass, ghostly brushing along the skin before picking her hand up and slamming it down, earning a loud whimper and yelp to come from (Y/N)'s lips. "Fuck.... more, please, mistress, give me more. I've been so bad, such a naughty little thing, I deserve it. Please."    Harley grinned wickedly, giggling softly as she raises her hand again and lifts it back down. One slap followed another which followed another.  (Y/N) was begging for it and Harley fucking loved every single second of it.   "I know you deserve it because you're a slut, aren't you, princess? You're a filthy, dirty whore." Harley slams her hand onto (Y/N)'s ass again, rougher than the previous ones. 

 (Y/N) whimpers and pushes back up against Harley's hand, nodding eagerly. "Y-yes.... need to be punished. Please, punish me."  (Y/N) sobs, broken little cries falling from her mouth.  "That's just what you want, isn't it, baby?" Harley cooed, taking her hand off of (Y/N)'s bottom before reaching down and gazing her thumb over (Y/N)'s cute little clit.  

 "You want to be punished, don't you? Because you like it, right? Love it when I fuck you with a fake, plastic cock. Love the feeling of my fingers being buried deep inside your cunt. You love all of it - punishment or no punishment - because you're a fucking slut."  (Y/N)'s whines are - somehow - even louder than before and she's nodding rapidly, Harley giggles at the sight because her movements remind her of a bobblehead.  "Please," (Y/N) begged.  "Please, fuck me. Give it to me, nice and rough, just the way I like it. Show me who I belong to, Harley.... mistress, I meant... Mistress, please... I want it. I need it. I want your fingers, your tongue, anything, please." Harley knows by the sound of her voice, (Y/N) has tears in her eyes and she's willing to be fucked just by anything at this point.  "Filthy thing, you are." Harley murmurs, licking her lips before sinking to the floor. "Turn over, baby. Let's see how soaked you are."  Doing as she's told, (Y/N) rolls over and sits up, back against the cushions of the couch as she displays her pussy for Harley.  "Want Mistress to fuck you, huh? Fuck your tight little core until you're sore in the morning and can't walk without a limp? Want me to mark you up so everybody knows you're mine?"  All (Y/N) does is nod, far too flustered for words. "Say it. I want to hear you say it." Harley growled as her fingers shove their way inside (Y/N)'s eager and dripping wet cunt.  Moaning, (Y/N) nods as she throws her head back. "Mark me, Har. Make me your bitch. Fuck me like you hate me, please."   Harley smiles widely as she adds another finger, happily going to do exactly that.     "You're so tight, baby girl.... fucking dripping on my fingers." Harley cooed as she scissors her fingers back and forth, pushing and pulling, twisting and turning.  Before (Y/N) has any time to reply, or even say anything at all,  Harley's mouth is at her heat and (Y/N) groans at the sudden and unexpected gesture.  Harley hums, sending vibrations all over (Y/N)'s body. This causes her hips to jerk upward, moan after moan slipping out of her mouth. 

Harley swirls her tongue back and forth, inside and out, making sure her pussy wasn't going to go untouched. Every part of her womanhood,  she licked and sucked on.  Harley gazed up and a blush washes over her cheeks as she notices (Y/N) had already been looking down at her. 

 She was sparkling, loving the triumph at the mess she was making out of her dear and lovely best friend.  (Y/N) could feel that white and hot tension building in the pit of her stomach. Her entire body was broken out with goose bumps and she was shaking, trembling like a leaf. 

Her moans grew louder in volume, more high pitched, her nails dug into the cushion of the couch and as she closes her eyes, she's quick to reopen them due to the fact Harley had stopped what she was doing.  "Hey, I was enjoying myself-" "This is a punishment, remember, doll? Now, be a good girl and eat my pussy out. You were born to be my good pussy eater, weren't you? So, get to work. Get to pleasing me; your Mistress."  (Y/N) grunts, loving the foul language she spoke as she gets off the couch and falls to her knees, quick to put her mouth to good use.  Above her, Harley hummed in delight, slowly rocking her hips back and forth against (Y/N)'s warm and wet mouth. "There ya go... there's my good girl." Harley purred, lids fluttering close as she enjoys the way (Y/N)'s tongue feels against her clit.  

 Harley hadn't known how worked up she was until a few seconds pass and just as quickly as they started, she's spilling all her fluids and juices onto (Y/N)'s face, coating her skin with her cum.  "Fuck... 'm sorry about that, princess...... You just had me so worked up. Really, I've been thinkin about you all day. And I saw you with that guy and I just.... I got a little jealous, y'know?"  "No reason to be," (Y/N) replied, licking off the remains of Harley's orgasm off of her lips. "I was just havin' some fun. Besides, like you said, I'm yours. Always will be, always have been. Now, enough of this mushy chick flick moment, are you going to pound me and wreck me or not?"  Harley laughs and nods, taking (Y/N) up off of her feet and kisses her, not minding the taste of herself on her best friend - well, girlfriend's - lips.   "Let's go then, shall we?"  (Y/N) giggles loudly as Harley, as she had done before, lifts her up and carries her off to the bedroom.   "We're together now though, right?" "Yes, of course, dumbass."  "Just needed that confirmed."  "Of course, baby, I love you. I’m sorry I had such a hard time admitting that until today... Now, open that mouth up and let me choke you with this fake cock before I dick you down with it."

[britishassistant]

Supervillain AU! I formally request the special addition of Yuu’s first kidnapping please.

Thank you for the ask, dear anon!

“Yoo-hoo, Reporter-chan? Wakey-wakey, it’ll be bad for you if you don’t get up soon~”

Yuu shakes their head groggily, the sing-songy voice not helping the pounding in their temple.

“Did someone get the number of the truck that hit me?” They mumble, blinking to try and get their eyes to focus.

“Dammit Deuce, you gave them brain damage.” A familiar, much more annoyed sounding voice said. “Their head’s gonna be all screwy and useless now, dumbass.”

“It was just a lovetap though!” A third voice, also familiar, protested.

The floor finally stopped moving in front of their eyes and Yuu realized some very important things.

One, the floor they were staring at was not the floor of the library where they last remembered being.

Two: Their arms and legs seemed to be tied tight to the arms and legs of an iron garden chair.

Three: There are many odd-looking people standing near them, all in clothes that are too coordinated not to be a uniform but too outlandish to represent a government group of some kind.

Oh Great Seven, Yuu thinks with a rising sort of hysteria. It’s finally happened.

Clowns have come to take me away for not brushing my teeth enough like Mom said when I was little.

“...Are ya sure you didn’t break ‘em?”

“...”

“Deuce.”

Yuu wonders if they should feel offended at being talked around like this.

“Enough of this nonsense!” A hand seizes Yuu’s chin and pulls their head up to face the latest speaker. An imperious-looking young man stands and walks towards the reporter, clicking his fingers. “Three of Clovers.”

A tall man in glasses hands the imperious young man what Yuu recognizes as their wallet. The shorter man glances at the contents disdainfully. “You. First and last name and age, now.”

“Y-Yuu Radcliffe, 23 years.” The reporter stutters, their initial hysteria morphing into a sinking feeling in their gut. If not the clowns, then... “Can I ask who I have the pleasure of talking to?”

“No.” The redhead holding their wallet snaps. “Current occupation and birthday?”

“Field reporter at TWST local news.” They force themselves to relax the fists their hands have balled into. “March 18th.”

Remember what Uncle Divvy always says. Stay calm, act cooperative, do or say whatever you need to to avoid injury. Any supervillains on this level trying to curry favor with or blackmail the dumb bird will have to go through Uncle Divvy first to contact him, and he’ll take care of the rest.

All Yuu needs to do is keep themselves alive until then.

They still can’t help but dread what they know is coming next.

The supervillain seems to notice their distress, and smirks cruelly. He takes his time walking forward and leaning down until he’s on the reporter’s eye level, hands resting on the back of the chair and eyes flicking over their face, almost as if he’s savoring the moment before he makes their life that much more painful.

Yuu braces themselves as he opens his mouth–!

“What is the best type of tea?”

Huh?

“Wait, what? I don’t—” Yuu asks, backpedalling as the supervillain’s face grows stormy at their lack of response. “Uuh...green tea? I guess? I mean, it’s the one I like the most, but I’m more of a coffee or hot cocoa person, so I’m not the best one to ask...”

The person holding their chin sucks in through their teeth and the annoyed familiar voice outside their periphary snickers “Oooh, busted~”

The supervillain is beginning to go as red as his hair, and the reporter can hear his teeth grinding. His hands are now gripping the back of the chair so tight Yuu would almost swear they hear the metal by their ears creak.

“Ri���Royal.” The man with glasses says.

The supervillain inhales and exhales almost violently, until what’s visible of his face under that mask is looking less flushed.

“The correct answer,” He says, voice trembling with emotion. “Was all teas at their due times. To drink green tea instead of rosehip at breakfast, or lemon tea at 8pm...the nerve of your arrogance is astounding!”

Yuu...genuinely isn’t sure how they’re supposed to respond to that. Instead they just go with, “I’m sorry, I’ve never had rosehip or lemon tea. Do you like them?”

“Do I—?!” The supervillain’s mouth works soundlessly, gradually going red again. He pushes off the chair sharply. “I—the ro—i-it’s not a matter of liking!! These are the Rules!! And the Rules must be obeyed!! Three of Clovers!”

“Yes, Royal Flush?” The glasses man asks.

“The reporter is forbidden from having any montblanc after dinner, and will take two cups of lemon tea at 8pm tonight and two cups of rosehip tomorrow at breakfast.” Royal Flush flashes them a cruel smirk. “Consider it a light punishment for your impertinence.”

Yuu blinks. Tries to make sense of what they’ve just heard.

Blinks again.

“You know if you just wanted to ask me out to dinner, I’d have taken a nice invitation or a bouquet. You didn’t need to knock me out and tie me up like this, I’m not that picky. I do have Tinder.”

Glasses guy makes a choking noise and erupts into a coughing fit.

The hand that’s been holding Yuu’s chin migrates to their shoulder for support as its owner lets out an undignified snort and gasps out something that sounds vaguely like “why wasn’t I recording, that was Magicam gold!” as he giggles. He’s a redhead too, but much more orange than his boss.

There’s a sputter of hysterical laughter that has Yuu twisting their head to see the two guys and the cat from the hydroelectric plant, both with these odd-looking metal collars around their necks, but otherwise unharmed. The talking cat is trussed up in so many ropes that it looks more like a bobblehead, also wearing a weird collar.

The third redheaded one is bracing his hands on his knees, wheezing out a litany of “holy shit, holy shit” between chortles. The dark haired one is holding the cat a confused expression, cutting off his friend’s laughter when he turns to ask, “Ace, what’s tinder?”

The momentary silence lets an odd squeaking noise be heard.

One that gradually grows in volume until it’s an outright screech coming from the supervillain in front of them. He’s so red Yuu is honestly worried about his blood pressure, pointing a shaking finger at them.

“I—YOU—YOU—OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!!!”

Yuu chokes a little at the feeling of cold metal materializing around their neck, dragging their head down with its weight. The supervillain continues screeching, refusing to even look at the reporter. “YOU—! DUNGEON! RIGHT NOW!! NO DESSERTS!! GO!!”

There’s an awkward moment as Royal Flush turns away from them, as if expecting them to get up and walk out of their own accord while his back is to them.

“...So, does that mean you want them to untie me or something, or...?” Yuu wiggles their firmly bound hands and feet for emphasis.

The supervillian makes a sound like a kettle whistling, before he barks out. “Two of Spades! Ace of Hearts! GET them OUT OF MY SIGHT until they’re WILLING to COOPERATE!!”

The dark haired young man quickly shuffles forward, grabs the back of the chair, and drags it and the poor reporter attached to it out of the room and into the corridor. The metal screeches as it moves from carpet to concrete.

“Wh—Two, no, untie them first.” The man with glasses says, despairing, appearing in the doorway. “You’ll mark up the floor otherwise.”

“Ah! Sorry, senpai!” Two looks between the cat in his arms and the knots on the chair, before shoving the cat into the arms of the redhead who answers to “Ace”. Neither of them look happy with this development.

“Fgnah! Quit squeezing, ya jerk!” The cat protests, wriggling as best it can.

“Oh? What’s that? I’m sorry, I just need to make sure that greatest, lamest supervillain in the city doesn’t escape to go setting random crap in the lair on fire again.” Ace says sweetly, grip tightening.

“Tha’s your fault, an’ you know it!” The cat wheezes out, thrashing harder.

Yuu winces. “Hey, quit hurting him. Whatever he did, he doesn’t deserve this.”

The dark haired minion barks out a laugh as he tugs the ropes away from their right wrist while his redheaded counterpart sneers at them.

“Oh really? Bet you’ll change your tune real quick once you learn it’s thanks to him you’re here in the first place.” Ace of Hearts mocks. “Dumb monster sang like a damn canary when Royal pressured him a tiiiny bit, saying it was all your fault his precious ingredient is now in the sewers.”

“Tha’s a lie!” The monster? cat blurts out too quickly for comfort. “It’s all these two morons, I swear!”

“Why you little—“

“I don’t care.” Yuu cuts in before Two of Spades can hit the animal. “I didn’t destroy that thing, but even if none of you said anything, your boss would’ve found out I was involved anyway from watching my report on it on the news. So I don’t care, just-just quit hurting him.”

There’s a tense moment as the two minions stare down at the reporter. They do their best to meet the gazes without flinching.

Then the Ace of Hearts tosses the cat into their lap as the Two of Spades sinks back down to keep working on their ankle. “Fine. Since you like it so much, you can take care of it. Just don’t expect me to cover for your ass—you still owe me for the power plant.”

“I’m sorry?” Yuu curls their free arm around the bundle of rope, fur, and yowling insults and pulls it closer to them. “Shouldn’t that be the other way round?”

“You locked me in a closet with him!” Ace hisses. “Do you know how hard it was to get out before the cops came with him freaking out and messing stuff up?!”

“Oi.” Two shoots him a dark look from where he’s finished untying the reporter’s left hand. “Like you weren’t whining about us being digested until you knocked a broom over!”

“Sh-shut up!”

“Well excuse me for trying to save your lives.” Yuu bites back, rubbing the rope marks on their wrists. “Next time I’ll just run and let the sludge monster eat your unconscious bodies.”

“It’d save us all the trouble of this shit if you did!” Ace spits, jabbing a finger at his collar. “At least then we wouldn’t be on Royal’s shit list!”

Yuu lets the piece of information they were just given marinate in their brain as they glare at him. Well, now what exactly was that supposed to mean?

“Ngh...this knot won’t come loose.” Two says from by the reporter’s left foot.

“How about now?” Replies an unfamiliar voice, as a disembodied hand pulls deftly at a loop in the rope.

“Ah!” Two of Spades brightens up as the rest of the rope falls away. “Thanks a lot—”

The disembodied hand punches him in the face.

Yuu cries out in alarm at the sight of the minion falling backwards into the Ace of Hearts, knocking him down like a bowling pin.

A pair of clawed hands are then scooping them up, extra cat and all, and the reporter finds themself looking at the unsettlingly wide smile and purple cat ears of one of the city’s top heroes, running at full speed while sharpened playing cards whizz past his face and Ace calls out behind them “Senpai! It’s him again!!”

There’s a percussive boom somewhere in the distance, and screams of how the flamingos are loose as the hero winks down at Yuu. “Seems you’re a popular one today, kitten! But let’s get you back to where you where before you were so rudely catnapped, yes?”

“Not so fast, hero!” The orange haired guy choruses from the entrance to the staircase, and—from behind them as well?

The reporter’s heart sinks as more and more versions of the minion keep popping up around them, to the point where the hero is forced to stand on the bannister of the balcony they’re on.

And based on the fact that the hero hasn’t used his invisibility? Intangibility? powers, it’s likely that he can’t use them while holding Yuu and the cat.

They’re surrounded.

“You really can’t keep your paws out of anything that’s mine, can you?” Royal Flush’s tone is clipped as he glares up at the hero.

“Hey R-kun, Three-kun!” The hero pouts, hugging Yuu closer to his chest. “I come a~ll this way to play, only to find you’ve got a nyew toy you’re already playing with without me! How mean! You guys really are cruel!!”

“We’re sorry about that.” Three of Clovers says, edging closer. “If you just hand the reporter over to Four, they’ll be put away and we can all “play” together, no distractions. Doesn’t that sound nice?”

The hero makes a deliberating noise, holding Yuu out and away from him over the drop, tilting his head this way and that.

His grin grows unsettlingly wider.

“Look, R-kun, Three-kun!” The hero calls out. “Nyo hands!”

Wait, what—

The hero’s body vanishes.

Yuu and the monster cat plummet screaming past the illogically winding staircases of the evil lair.

Yuu tries to angle their body so that the frantically crying cat will be shielded from the brunt of the fall—!

“NO!!”

There’s a sound like glass shattering, and a feeling of being enveloped in something soft, cold and buoyant. The two of them bounce a few times and land back on it more gently each time.

Yuu cracks open their eyes to see that they’re seated on a strange, red, jelly-like mass. The cat in their arms tentatively sniffs, and then lunges to take a bite out of their cushion before the reporter can stop him.

“Shtrawberry?” He says through a full mouth. “Tashtes good!”

The reporter grabs him before he can go for another bite, a little thrown by his speed now that collar isn’t weighing him down. But where did this thing come from–?

Yuu looks up.

Royal Flush is leaning dangerously far over the balcony countless flights of stairs above them, one arm outstretched down towards them.

They stare at each other for a moment.

Then clawed hands fasten around Yuu’s waist again with a cheery “Nyow wasn’t that fun?” and Royal Flush visibly tenses and begins screaming things after the escaping hero that are barely legible through his rage.

The hero deposits them both outside the TWST news station with their wallet and phone back in their pockets. He at least helps them untie the monster cat, who promptly declares he just let them protect him, and scarpers.

Of course the hero is gone too when Yuu turns back around, before they can ask him what the hell he was playing at, dropping them like that, was he insane?! If Royal Flush hadn’t interfered...

The reporter has to fight the urge to lose their lunch.

Their boss rushes out and envelopes them in a surprisingly powerful hug, the woman almost lifting the reporter off their feet as she babbles about whether or not Yuu needs a hospital after getting kidnapped by one of the seven major supervillains.

Yuuken is quick to join the embrace with a bear hug of his own. He pulls back, fingers prodding gently at Yuu’s bruised temple and declaring he’ll drive them to hospital to make sure they don’t have a concussion.

He graciously waits until they’re in the car to ask why Yuu smells so much of strawberries.

The reporter can only give a half answer, partly because they don’t want to worry him, and partly because they have another question of their own buzzing incessantly around their brain.

Why was Yuu kidnapped in the first place?

Royal Flush never even mentioned Crowley, despite all the chances he had to do so. Not even an oblique or confusing metaphor or code. Does that mean he’s ignorant of the connection between Yuu and the League?

But if that’s the case, it circles back around to the first question: why kidnap Yuu to begin with?

Somehow the reporter doubts it was to just ask their tea preferences or invite them to dinner.

Those minions referred to that monster as Royal Flush’s “precious ingredient”. Ingredient for what? Is there something that Royal Flush thinks they witnessed that’s integral to a scheme? Did they witness something and just not realize it’s significance?

Yuu’s reporter senses are screaming that there’s a deeper story to uncover here. Yuu’s common sense is screaming that investigating the dangerous plans of the supervillain they’ve just escaped from is a terrible idea.

Though he could have just...let them fall. But he didn’t. And won’t he just kidnap them again regardless?

...

This is a terrible idea.

But if Yuu’s common sense was stronger than their reporter senses, then they wouldn’t be in this city in the first place, would they?

[isabellitah]

🧡 HAIKYUU x MANAGER READER

Title : it’s all part of the job

Pairing : (all platonic !) inarizaki x reader, aoba johsai x reader, itachiyama x reader

Warning : threats?

INARIZAKI

The fangirls of the VBC team of Inarizaki are well… frightening, to say the least. But the most frightening belonged to not only the Miya Twins, but also to one Suna Rintarou. The others’ fangirls were quite tame, some even friendly, with you. But the rabid fangirls of those three? Yeah, no. They’re out for blood. For your blood. And it’s all because you were forced to be the manager of the VBC team.

It all started when Aran, politely forced (read : bribed with food) you to be their manager because they needed one that would ‘t oggle over any of them. I mean don’t get me wrong, you do oggle, but you do it internally mainly because you don’t want Atsumu’s head any bigger you genuinely treasure your friendship with them.

Read here : you are their friend. Not girlfriend. And yet, those bobbleheads can’t seem to register it in their heads that, just because you are a girl and just because you can be close to them and talk to them like a regular friend, you are not their girlfriend.

Now the boys normally don’t leave you alone because well one, you get lost easily. And two, they know what rabid fangirls can be capable of. In the words of one Suna Rintarou, “they have no brain cells left to think properly.” But it just so happens that while they went into their locker rooms to change and you started to set up the net, the fangirls slowly started entering the gym.

Of course with their high heels click clacking on the floors, you heard them a mile away but chose to ignore them because they’ll come when they’re stupid enough.

And they are. Stupid enough, that is.

Just as you finished setting the net up, you heard an annoying voice call out, “HEY YOU!”

She didn’t say your name so you didn’t bother looking at her. Why waste energy, y’know?

Yeah, that didn’t work out.

Next thing you know, someone dug their nails into your wrist and forcefully spun you to face them. You winced at the sudden force but didn’t get the chance to voice out your pain when you heard a voice you never knew you’d be relieved to hear, “OI! WHAT DO YA SQUEALIN PIGS THINK YER DOING TO MY MANAGER?!”

Paling, the two girls with bitch 1 turned tail and ran off. Pussies. Their main bitch stayed though- still gripping onto your wrist with her fake nails. Speaking of your wrist- you felt the skin break as her grip tightened the longer the team glared at her.

Knowing she lost, the bitch scoffed, muttered “whatever.” and stomped away.

While the others continued glaring at the girl, knowing they can’t fight because technically they’d be at fault if it was ever reported, Kita and Aran looked at you with concern- which confused you to say the least.

“Are you okay, l/n-san?”

Looking at Aran, you nodded, “yeah, of course. Why?”

It was Kita who answered you, “l/n-san… you’re bleeding.”

You and the rest of the glaring team immediately looked at your wrist.

Huh. It was bleeding.

You shrugged, “it’s okay. I don’t feel anything at the moment.”

“Even so, dumbass, we should get you to the clinic. Who knows what germs that pig had in her nails-” Suna visibly shuddered at the thought, “it could be infected for all we know.”

Nodding, Kita gently wrapped your wrist with his handkerchief and took your things while Aran placed his hand on your lower back to gently coax you to start walking with Kita leading you both towards the clinic leaving the rest of the team to start cleaning up. It was a silent decision : practice was cancelled for today.

It was all quiet until a loud THWACK followed by an OW echoed through the gym.

Suna quickly brought his phone out to film the interaction while keeping in mind that this may entertain you later on and lighten up your mood- while also thinking about the perfect blackmail against the twins. The rest of the team dispersed and prepared to go home the moment the gym doors closed behind you three.

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR, ‘SAMU?!”

“YER MANAGER?! WHAT DID YA MEAN YER MANAGER?! SHE’S ALL OF OURS, DUMBASS!”

Flushed red, Atsumu spluttered for a response before being decked by him brother on the face which caused him to retaliate by pulling his hair and biting his shoulder, “OW YOU LIL SHIT!”

“YOU FUCKING STARTED IT!”

Ah yes, the perfect blackmail.

AOBA JOHSAI

So. Tooru’s fangirls huh. Yeah, scary, I know. But that’s not gonna make you stay away from your childhood friend. No sir. You ignored their threats to leave their King alone because you believed they were just that. Threats.

Yeah, big mistake.

Because next thing you know, you’re waking up at the clinic of the school with the Seijoh 4 around you looking extremely worried.

When asking them what happened, Tooru teared up and apologized profusely to you before giving you his milk bread. Confused you took the milk bread and thanked him before asking him why he’s apologizing to you.

Hajime took control of the situation and told you about how Kentarou saw you getting beat up by a bunch of girls- girls he recognized as the one always trying to sneak in the boys’ locker room to take pics and girls who always screamed out Oikawa’s name during games. Said that by the time he found you, were already down with a bleeding head. Kentarou scared away the brats and immediately brought you to the clinic before sprinting down to the gym to get the four of them.

While everyone in the team was worried about you, they knew that these four needed to see you first on their own. You guys are the closest in the team, after all.

Now caught up on what happened, you touched the bandage around your head and winced causing Takahiro to grab you wrist and say, “don’t do that you dummy.” which led you to pout at him, “yah I’m injured, Hiro-kun! Don’t berate me.” with that said, you felt the tension lessen in the room.

Tooru still looked down so you gestured for him to sit beside you on the bed you sat on and he hesitantly did so. You proceeded to open the milk bread he gave you split it into five pieces; four equal ones and one bigger than the others. You gave the bigger piece to Tooru and the three equal ones to your other friends who all smiled and thanked you. Laying your head on Tooru’s shoulder, you told him that none of this was his fault and that you didn’t blame him for anything.

You felt the tension leave his shoulders as he wrapped an around you and murmured a thank you. With Tooru occupying the spot beside you, Takahiro decided to take up the space on your other side- squishing you between himself and Tooru. Issei laid himself on your legs, resting hid head on your abdomen while Hajime sat on the chair beside the bed.

Let’s just the girls that beat you up started avoiding you when you came to school the next day.

You kept hearing random bits of murmurs in the hallway about how the boys’ volleyball club was scary.

Shrugging it off, you went to the gym to prepare the net and balls.

Entering, however, you see that all your chores were done. As you sat down on the coach’s bench, the coach told you that the entire team arrived early to start on your chores because they wanted you to rest- but they didn’t want you to go home early so that you can watch them play and also to make sure you’re fine.

They don’t say it aloud but they care for you. You’re their precious manager. And you care for them too.

ITACHIYAMA

Okay first of all, the only reason on why you’re their manager is because of your two cousins. You don’t bother hiding the fact that you’re cousins so you just assumed that everyone knew.

Turns out, more than half the school didn’t.

They always wondered why the germaphobe and his cousin hung out with you and sometimes babied you- feeding you, carrying your things for you, bringing you to and from classes whenever they could, and sometimes even carrying you whenever you felt tired.

Some assumed that you were dating both cousins, others assumed you dated one while the other tolerated you, and a few were convinced that you were forcing yourself on them.

Said few despised you and were obsessed with one or both of your cousins.

In reality, you were the innocent baby of your family and therefore your cousins were very protective of you.

One day while walking in between them on the way to the gym for volleyball practice - with Kiyoomi on your right, and Motoya on your left; both their heights towering over you - someone suddenly pulled your ponytail. Cutting off what you were recalling from your day and putting a stop to your skipping as you suddenly shrieked out in pain.

Omi immediately grabbed a hold of your wrist while Motoya (i was gonna type Oya icb) grabbed onto the wrist of whoever gripped onto your ponytail.

Motoya pulled on wrist that held you and tightened his hold until the girl winced and let go of your hair. At that point you were crying while shaking as the pain on your scalp continued throbbing. Kiyoomi held you in his arms; one hand around your waist and the other massaging your scalp all the while whispering comforting words in your ears.

Motoya looked at Kiyoomi who made eye contact with him and nodded. And so, Kiyoomi left leaving Motoya with the girl who was slowly paling and starting to shake as Motoya continued tightening his grip on her wrist and turned to glare at her.

The next day, rumors went around about how the girl was suddenly in the hospital because she tripped down the stairs when leaving the school. Her friends, who knew of her after school plan, were too terrified to refute the rumors and just agreed with them. Who knew Motoya was terrifying when angered.

Now you were sure that the entire school knew of your relations with both Kiyoomi and Motoya. Or well, you hoped so.

[soyforramen]

Prompt: Dance + Hangover Bughead

Betty groaned and pressed a hand against her throbbing head. That was the last time she’d let Veronica drag her anywhere, let alone out of a particularly productive study session. With the bar only a month away, it was all to easy to succumb to Veronica’s promise of a stress free evening at the most exclusive club in the city.

(The fact that Veronica owned said club certainly helped convince Betty. After all, who could turn down an all expenses paid night out at the Bijou? Opportunities like that didn’t ordinarily crop up for most environmental law interns, especially the ones who didn’t get paid to save the planet.)

As she shifted on the bed, a twinge of pain shot through her ankle. She glanced down to find it still wrapped in a shoddy attempt at a brace. A memory of being swept off the dance floor – literally – by a tall, dark stranger flashed through her mind, along with her stilted attempts at flirting that lead to three spilled drinks and a twisted ankle.

Well, perhaps he hadn’t been a stranger stranger. After all, whenever Veronica’s latest beau came by Jughead trudged along. And he wasn’t terrible company; in fact they managed to get along quite well on their third-wheeling excursions. And last night had been rather enjoyable, despite it ending with a marathon Jenga session after sharing a cab back to her apartment.

Pushing herself into a sitting position, Betty forced down the remnants of the dark rum and syrupy sweet mixers Veronica had insisted on. The alcohol oozed from her pores, leaving behind a sticky, disgusting feeling. Still wearing last night’s clothing – a dress that was high necked, low backed, and far too short for any decent legal scholar – Betty couldn’t help but feel like an absolute gargoyle queen.

She stumbled towards the shower and, most importantly, a handful of ibuprofen.

It wasn’t until she was in her normal Sunday morning outfit of sweats and an old faded jersey that Betty finally felt human again. Now that that was taken care of, her mind moved onto more practical things. Breakfast was out of the question – her stomach roiled at the thought of anything else being funneled into it. Her pounding headache demanded otherwise, and she walked towards the kitchen with a guilty glance towards her abandoned stack of BarBri study guides.

The pot of coffee in his hand hovered in the air above a mug, suspended by her sudden appearance.

“Hey,” Jughead greeted softly.

“Hey,” she replied. “Are you going to drink all of that?”

He shook his head and slid the mug towards her. When she lifted it to her mouth she found it filled with a thick, hot brew strong enough to clean a carburetor. Unable to stand the small, Betty opened the refrigerator for a hearty dash of creamer.

“You stayed the night?” Betty asked as nonchalantly as she could.

While she wasn’t concerned that he had stayed over, she was curious. Mostly, however, her curiosity’s own hangover could only extend as far as to wondering when the last time she’d vacuumed the couch he’d likely slept on.

Jughead nodded and poured a second mug for himself. He downed half of it and refilled it before answering. “Wanted to make sure everyone got home okay,” he said with a glance towards Veronica’s still closed door. He lifted the pot and Betty shook her head, still nursing her first cup.

It was oddly endearing, she realized, to know how concerned he had been about not only his roommate, but also about Veronica. Something of Betty’s own worry must have seeped into him last night between her constant glances between the door and her phone. At first glance, she’d assumed Jughead to be nonchalant and a believer of one for one, and none for all. But as they became closer, it was a comfort to know that appearances could still be deceiving in a good way.

“And I might have had too much to drink last night to get down Scarlet O’Hara’s grand staircase,” he admitted.

Betty laughed at that. It seemed Veronica still hadn’t told Jughead about the service elevator in the back, forcing him to take the three flights up to their apartment.

“You and me both,” Betty said, trying to soften the mood. “Is this your handiwork, or mine?”

“Sorry about that. We Jones’ are more Nurse Ratched than Nightingale,” Jughead said with a wince.

He reached up and rubbed at his forehead, another victim of Veronica’s penchant for sweet liquors. As he did so, a lock of hair fell over his face and Betty realized that he was cute. Not a head turner, like his roommate, but cute in a way that grows on you.

“Like a fungus,” Betty murmured under her breath.

Jughead glanced up, squinting at her, and she blushed. Veronica had definitely been right about studying too much if Betty couldn’t keep from talking out loud.

“I appreciate the sentiment,” Betty said. She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “You bartend, right?”

“I wait tables. At the old diner,” Jughead correct her, a note of bitterness in his voice.

“Ronnie said something about writing a book too, though, right?” Betty said, trying to sway the conversation away from his fits of melancholy.

At the mention of writing, his eyes flashed to life. “It’s nothing, really. Just a few pages.”

“Oh?”

Betty did her best to act coy, leaning against the kitchen island and cupping the mug in her hands. Most certainly it was a pale imitation to Veronica’s practiced flirting, but a girl had to start somewhere. It was bolder than Betty normally was, but last night had been fun even with the minor bodily harm.

“I’m trying to study the decay of the American small town and what it might do to the character of the people living there.” As he spoke, energy came to his body and the space around him felt alive, caught in his orbit. “Maybe as an allegory about what our culture is today and what it thinks it used to be.”

She lifted her mug to her lips and sipped at the hot coffee as she thought through what to say next. Jughead’s eyes flicked down to her lips, and an slow ember lit in her chest.

“Ronnie and I grew up in a small town, though –“

A loud patter of giggling echoed down the hallway from Veronica’s room. Before Betty could roll her eyes, a loud moan followed it. Jughead’s eyes went wide and Betty blushed down to her toes, both reeling from the second hand embarrassment.

“Maybe we should get out of here?” Betty offered.

Jughead nodded, his head moving like a bobblehead on a shelf during an alien invasion.

“Sorry, Toni can be –“ he trailed off, his face scrunched up in discomfort.

“I can’t begin to tell you how many study sessions were interrupted by them,” Betty offered to try and lighten the situation. “I’ll just get my jacket?”

Jughead nodded. “It’s a date. I mean - ?”

Betty set her hand on his arm and smiled. “I’ll be right back.”

Another sound came from Veronica’s room, and Betty and Jughead both headed towards the door.

“Or maybe I can just borrow yours?”

[platypanthewriter]

Lazerbeamy Strongman

Day One of Harringrove AUgust, prompt: Superhero AU

Steve Harrington, newly hired reporter and resident Wholesome Nice Guy, kept sidling over to Billy’s desk to read his interview questions. It was hard enough coming up with questions for a superhero who could fly, hold up falling skyscrapers, and shoot lasers from his eyes. The memory of the pulse of blue light blowing out the engine block of the armed robber’s getaway car made Billy shudder.

‘Are the lasers under complete control,’ he typed. ‘Could you be startled into vaporizing the city?’

Directly behind his chair, Harrington snorted a laugh.

“Shut up, Hawkins Indiana,” Billy told him.

Harrington didn’t move.

“Cut this shit out, or I’m squirting you with a bottle,” Billy told him, through a bite of ham’n’rye sandwich. “You keep climbing all up in my business, you’re gonna get Lysol between the eyes.”

“Sorry,” Harrington said, looking abashed, but his eyes still strayed to Billy’s screen, and Billy grabbed the Lysol, spraying a whole cloud as Steve dove back to his own desk. He ducked his head as the editor of the Planet walked by.

A few hours later, Billy caught him staring at the list of questions again, from way too far away, really—it wasn’t like Harrington could actually read Billy’s screen from the coffee machine, but he looked suspiciously intent, so Billy stalked over.

“Can you see my questions from there?! Are those huge nerd frames telescopic, or—just—what the fuck, dude,” he muttered, squinting over at his desk. He could make out that Microsoft Word was open, maybe. Maybe. “How the hell,” Billy growled, turning his glower on Harrington, who stared innocently out the window, sipping his coffee.

“How could I possibly,” Harrington said, not meeting Billy’s eyes as he drank the last of his mug of coffee, and Billy took the last of the coffee in the pot just to spite him, and stalked off.

Ten minutes later, he scooted his chair back and hit Harrington’s jeans with his elbow, and Harrington stumbled back, like he hadn’t been reading over Billy’s shoulder. “Are you a fucking cat?!” Billy hissed. “I’m gonna get one of those invisible fences and shock you every time you try to sneak my interview questions—”

“You’re better at interviews than me,” Steve told him, shrugging and rubbing the back of his neck in the annoyingly ‘aw, shucks’ way Billy was fairly sure couldn’t be sincere. “Just interested.”

“I don’t think you’re gonna have the opportunity to use these questions again,” Billy said drily. “Unless you’re gonna ask the next CEO you write up which planet he’s from, and how his clothes don’t burn off when he pulls people out of burning buildings.”

Harrington shrugged, grinning. “Um, I was actually gonna ask, what are you doing tonight? After wor—”

“Staking out the roof of the police department,” Billy told him, walking away to his desk—backwards, so he could yell. “He keeps leaving criminals up there. With notes! Thirty-percent higher chance on Friday nights!”

When the spandex-clad hero landed, cape aflutter, Billy leapt out. “To whom am I speaking?” he asked, in a breathless but calm professional voice.

“Just a moment, citizen,” said the hero, running his fingers through his hair and winking at Billy, and it was the first time he’d seemed like a real person, albeit a pickup artist, and not a comic book cliche.

He bent to handcuff three unconscious bruisers to the roof, prodding a muscled, fishnet-stockinged leg back towards the woman it belonged to. “Ah,” he said, when he stood back up, his hands on his hips like he’d practiced his dumb hero pose in the mirror. “I must go! Crime never waits!”

“What the hell,” Billy shouted after him, waving his notepad.

The next morning, Harrington looked smug. “How’d it go?” he asked, like he knew, and Billy sat on the asshole’s desk and drank, in turn, from both mugs of coffee. “Hey, isn’t that one mine?!” Harrington asked, and Billy stuck his tongue in it, swishing it around.

“Not anymore,” he said sweetly, and Harrington stared at him. “And it went great, obviously. He totally listened to his public and didn’t just fly off after acting like a shithead.”

“Wait, what’d he do?!” Harrington yelped, staring. “I—I read he, uh, he brought in the leaders of three different gangs!”

“Yeah, like a shithead,” Billy repeated, draining Harrington’s favorite mug, licking it, and handing it to him, empty. “And I froze my nuts off for four hours waiting for him to come back. That’s how it went. Shithead.”

“Oh,” Harrington said, frowning into his empty mug, as Billy wandered back to his desk with his own, ignoring Harrington’s mumbled “I mean, maybe—maybe he’s got to keep, like, his identity secret—”

“I didn’t ask for his goddamn alter ego, I was asking general shit,” Billy shot back, growling, and waving the hand without coffee in it. “Or I was going to!”

The next time Billy saw the shithead, he ran straight at him, dodging the falling debris, until abruptly he was flying.

“What are you doing,” the shithead hissed, his arms warm and strong as they carried Billy to the top of another damn building. “We’re under fire.”

“That’s your job,” Billy hissed at him. “My job is this damn interview. What kinds of disasters are you most likely to help with? Does Search and Rescue have your number?”

“Stay here,” the shithead commanded, and flew off, leaving Billy stranded on the top of a skyscraper. He spent the next hour trying to pinpoint the name of the building on Google Maps, before finally finding a number to call to let him in.

“I heard you ran right into the wreckage,” said Harrington, like he was worried, and Billy scoffed.

“I’ve worked warzones,” he said. “I can handle a car accident.”

“The viaduct collapsed,” Harrington said weakly, like a coward. “You were almost crushed by a flaming bus.”

“I also didn’t get even one question answered,” Billy muttered, glaring at the list on his screen, and Harrington stared from him to it. “I’m gonna have to grappling hook that shithead.”

“Um,” Harrington said, wincing. “He seems kind of...busy, usually, when he’s—”

“So am I,” Billy told him, reaching up and prodding his coworker’s shoulder. “I have won Pulitzers, I have better shit to do than spend my nights shouting questions at some shithead who can’t be assed to tell anyone his name, let alone answer some basic peace-of-mind questions like—” he made air quotes, “—‘to what degree do you feel obligated to help humanity?’”

“He’s kind of new,” Harrington said, wincing. “Maybe he doesn’t have, a um, a super...name, yet? Maybe he doesn’t want to say, like, ‘hello, good citizen, I am Lazerbeamy Strongman’—”

“Oh jesus,” Billy snorted, choking on his coffee.

“Hello, I’m Captain Awesomesauce,” Harrington groaned, his cheeks red for some reason. “I’m Rad-Dude.”

“Oh fuck me,” Billy coughed out, cackling. “So you’re saying he’s a moron.”

“I did not,” Harrington huffed, and Billy grinned at him.

“Are you a fan, Harrington? I saw you run right over to look at the latest pictures of him. That why you’re trying to edge in on my interview?”

“No!” Harrington groaned, rolling his eyes. “I just think you put all this...thought into this, and maybe he’s just helping out, you know, like anybody. Like if somebody calls the police on a purse snatcher, you don’t ask them why, or like, how much help they’re gonna be in future—”

“He wears a cape,” Billy pointed out. “He put a goddamn cape on, and he’s wearing some kind of themed onesie, and he says stuff like ‘Hello, innocent bystander,’ and that’s all weird as hell, so he better answer some questions. This isn’t somebody who was just there—he came on purpose, and he doesn’t want people to know who he is, or he’d talk to me—”

“Heroes wear capes!” Harrington argued, rolling his eyes again. “Maybe it’s a little creepy when you ambush people. On the roof of the police station.”

“We gotta call him something,” Billy told him, rolling his eyes. “He can answer my questions, or he can have every investigator in three cities trying to figure out his angle. He’ll be a police file five inches thick by this weekend.”

“Oh no,” Harrington said, wide-eyed, and Billy snorted.

“The hell d’you care?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. “You think he’s a moron who calls himself Lazerbeamy Strongman.”

“No,” Harrington said quickly, grimacing. “No, I just, uh. It’d...it’d suck if he’s just...trying to help.”

“If he’s just trying to help, he can give me something reassuring to publish, even if it’s just that he’s calling himself ‘Mr. Neato McCheeto’. People need to hear that he’s not going to use those laser eyes to shoot planes out of the sky.”

“Fuck you, he’s helping,” Harrington said sullenly, covering a snicker.

When Billy left for lunch, he bought the guy one of the badly painted caped bobbleheads already circulating the city, and left it on his desk.

“Oh no,” he heard Harrington say in horrified tones when he found it.

The third time Billy caught the new superhero, he was flying everyone to the tops of buildings. “Oh, fuck you,” Billy groaned, his body held in strong arms while his hands investigated the texture of the cape.

“She turned the ground into actual lava,” the shithead hissed at him. “I’ll get you down when you can walk without turning into a pillar of flame.”

“You better be back within the hour, or I will step off the edge,” Billy threatened, and the shithead groaned. “What’s your cape made of?” Billy yelled after him.

“I’ll come get you,” the shithead yelled back, and Billy sat down to wait, and write some preliminary scene setting. Metropolis’ newest hero shuffles a street of pedestrians onto the roofs of buildings in under a minute, before emptying the cars. Below him, Shithead was dodging around, trying to talk to the small child waving a wand and spraying lava.

Shithead did reappear, though, within the hour. He wasn’t even panting or sweating, and Billy eyed him with extreme dislike. He took the other people down, and Billy yelled threats after him, fully expecting to get stranded again, but Shithead flew back up and floated in front of him, his arms folded like Billy was supposed to be impressed.

“I’ll answer your questions,” he muttered, glowering.

“What’s your name,” Billy asked, wasting no time, because the wind on the skyscraper was sliding through his coat like he was naked. He shivered, turtling deeper into his scarf, and Shithead reached out, his hand twitching towards Billy.

“We—I can take you somewhere else? Somewhere warmer,” he offered awkwardly.

“Somewhere there’s coffee,” Billy growled, and the shithead laughed, grinning at him, and then stepped close to lift Billy again, but didn’t do it.

He just stood so close Billy could feel him breathing, holding his arms up like a scarecrow, and Billy groaned and turned to put his arms around the neck of a goddamn superhero and got scooped up like he was a damsel in distress. He sighed, disgusted, as Shithead took them back to the Daily Planet, dropped down past the roof, and landed them on the glassed-in balcony where Billy went when it was a choice between 1) smoke or 2) commit homicide.

Billy stared. “Have you been watching me,” he hissed, and the damn hero raised his hands.

“There’s coffee here,” he said, grimacing, and Billy stalked past him, by Harrington’s desk—the slacker was missing, and Billy snorted dismissively, and then remembered not everyone had had a ride back through the freezing wind. He shivered so hard as he poured the coffee he nearly spilled it, and whispered a brief prayer to Saint Drogo, patron saint of coffee and the insane, for his intervention in saving Billy’s water of life. The first sip told him it had been sitting on the burner, and his tongue curled in his mouth, his nose wrinkling, but he could feel it warming his veins and brain.

Shithead was still waiting on the balcony, frowning out over the city, and Billy watched him, taking another sip of the acrid coffee.

“Why d’you float like that,” he asked, and the weirdo blinked at him.

“Oh, um,” he said, frowning down, and reddening. “Uh, is this...on the record?”

“...not if you say it isn’t,” Billy said, leaning back into a creaky plastic chair, and putting his feet up on another.

“This outfit is sturdy enough to not burn up, but the feet get dirty if I walk,” Shithead said, grimacing.

“Your footie pajamas get dirty if you walk outside,” Billy said flatly, sighing. “This is an amazing start. On the record now—what’s your name, hero?”

“Oh! Ummm,” he said, wincing.

“Christ,” Billy groaned, pinching his brows together.

“"I'm...very...strong...ness..." the moron trailed off, and Billy stared at him.

“Try again,” he said.

“My sidekick—”

“You have a sidekick,” Billy interrupted, holding his pen up. “Nobody’s seen a sidekick.”

“He tells me when things happen, so I can help. He doesn’t go out there,” Shithead said, looking horrified, and for once sounding reasonable.

“Ah. Carry on,” Billy said, writing sidekick?? in the margin to address later.

“He thinks I should go by Encyc—oh, no,” he slapped a fist into his hand in realization, “It was Atlas,” the unnamed hero said, and Billy narrowed his eyes.

“Fair enough,” he said, about to ask why that didn’t out-rate ‘Very Strongness’, but the shithead crossed his arms with a huff.

“It makes no sense, I’m not a book,” he said, and Billy stared at him.

“You’re exactly the moron he thought you were,” he said disbelievingly. “You’re an idiot.”

“Hey! I—I just—I saved you from lava,” Shithead protested. “I saved you from a falling bus!”

“We gotta workshop this,” Billy said, groaning into his hands. “I’ll help you, because you did do all those things. And more to the point, I can’t make every news agent in the city say something that stupid every time you’re in the news.”

“What about Superguy,” the hero asked, leaning in enthusiastically. “Great...dude? Mister Awesome!”

“Fuck my life,” Billy sighed, laughing in despair. “What about something based on your powers—”

“Muscle-lasers! Musclasers?” the idiot suggested excitedly, and Billy smacked himself in the face again.

“What about just like...Knight Errant. You’ve got that kind of...shield shape on your chest—”

“Oooo,” Shithead said, floating closer, and Billy put a foot up and nudged him further away. “Because just Knight could get confusing, huh, like on the radio,” he said, and Billy wondered whether he did have a brain, and it just shorted out, like, most of the time. Maybe it was the lasers.

“D’you want to see the sunset,” Knight Errant asked, and Billy blinked at him. “You’re off work, right? I promise I won’t run, I’ll answer your questions,” he said, grimacing. “But...do you? The sunset over the city?”

As a career reporter in Metropolis, Billy could hardly refuse, and he tried to remind his libido of that while he lay cradled in strong arms, warm against Knight Errant’s chest, watching the sun set and the lights come on all over his city.

He was close enough to hear the hero’s stomach growl, and they got sandwiches from a street cart to chomp on during the interview. After that, Knight Errant flew them to a small loft apartment on the edge of the industrial district, and Billy wandered around trying the faucets, fascinated by how normal it all was.

“My apartment’s off the record, right?” Knight Errant asked, with belated nervousness.

“Yeah, sure,” Billy laughed. “I protect my sources. So. You...get hungry?” Billy asked, watching him put away enough food for four people.

“I’m just a person,” Knight Errant muttered, wiping mustard off his chin. He’d taken his cape off, and pushed the onesie down to his waist. In the dim light of the city, he looked familiar, though Billy couldn’t place him—and attractive, the shadows on his abs and arms making him look like he’d been painted in chiaroscuro.

It felt like a date, was the thing.

“Search and rescue does have my number, or a way to get ahold of me, anyway.” Knight Errant sighed. “There’s nowhere in the outfit for a phone. I mean, it’d melt, anyway, first time I flew into a burning building,” he pointed out, and Billy nodded slowly, talking to a hero about his revealing costume, and wondering whether he’d been sucked into the Twilight Zone.

“There sure isn’t anywhere to hide anything,” he agreed, remembering.

“Sometimes I don’t help them,” Knight Errant confessed. “—but I can’t—I help where I can. I have to sleep too.”

“You sleep?” Billy asked, cocking his head at the shadowy king-sized bed in the corner. He wondered whether the moron had different-patterned footie pajamas to sleep in, possibly with sheep on them. And a woolly sheep cape.

“I sleep. I have a job,” the man sighed.

“Thanks for saving me from the lava,” Billy said, belatedly. “And I...probably would’ve been crushed by that bus.”

“Anytime,” the hero of Billy’s city said, stepping close with a grin. “You have to be more careful. I’d hate to lose my favorite reporter.”

“You talk to all the others already?” Billy asked, laughing, his heart pounding as he stepped closer.

“Nah. I know it’ll always be you,” the moron said, grinning with an incomprehensible mixture of mischief and sweetness, and Billy kissed him.

The next morning, Billy hitched a ride to work in the arms of his superhero. He took the time to straighten his jacket and tie after the wind, and found Harrington at his desk, holding a mug of coffee, his eyes huge and weird in the absurdly thick glasses.

“Had a good night?” he asked, smugly, and Billy shot him a suspicious glare, and flipped him off.

Here’s the rest of my Harringrove (and everything else)

[seaofghouls]

DSMP FALLS! <1>

Ah! Summer break! A time for leisure, recreation, and taking her easy.

..Unless you're me.

A pair of triplets crash through a billboard with a go-kart. "AAAAAHHH!" Being followed by a monster of unimaginable horror. "It's getting closer!" One of the triplets cried. My name is Y/N. The boy to the right of me about to puke is my triplet brother, Tubbo, while the boy to my left screaming profanities is my other triplet brother, Tommy. You may be wondering what we're doing in this situation. "Look out!" Tubbo cried. "Agh!" Y/N screamed. "This monster is such a bitch!" Tommy cried. "Tommy!" Tubbo frowned. Rest assured, there's a perfectly logical explanation!

... Let's rewind. It all began when our parents decided we could use some fresh air. They shipped us up to Gravity Falls, Oregon, to stay with our great uncle in the woods. "This attic is amazing! Just look at all of my splinters!" Tubbo cried. "..And there's a fucking goat on my bed." Tommy sighed.

Tubbo walked up to the goat.

"Hey, new friend! Yes, you can keep chewing on my shirt!" Tubbo giggled. Y/N giggled as well. Tubbo and Tommy seemed to look on the bright side of things. I, however, was having a bit of a harder time getting used to our new surroundings. "Boo!" "Aagh!" Y/N jumped up from their spot from under a tree. An old man took off a mask and started laughing. And then there was our great uncle Schlatt. That guy. Our uncle had transformed his house into a tourist trap called the Mystery Shack. The real mystery is why anyone came. And guess who had to work there? Y/N sighed, sweeping the floor. Tubbo reached out to touch something in this gift shop before Schlatt slapped his hand away.

"No touching the merchandise!" He said. Tommy snickered and touched it anyway out of spite. It seemed like it was going to be the same routine all summer, until one fateful day.

"Alright, look alive folks! I need someone to go hang up these signs in the spooky part of the forest." Schlatt said. "Not it!" The triplets said at the same time. "Also not it." Ranboo said. "Nobody asked you, Ranboo." Schlatt said. "I know and I'm comfortable with that." Ranboo smiled. "Niki! I need you to put up these signs!" Schaltt said. "I would.. but I can't.. reach." She trailed off. "I'd fire all of you if I could." Schlatt sighed. "Okay, let's make it eeny, meeny, miny, you." Schlatt pointed at Y/N. "Yes!" Tommy and Tubbo exclaimed. "Awe what? Gruncle Schlatt, whenever I'm in those woods I feel like I'm being watched." Y/N said. "Oh, this again." He rolled his eyes. "I'm serious, something weird is going on! Just today, my mosquito bites spelled out beware!" Y/N said, showing schlatt their arm. "...That says bewarb." Schlatt said. "Look kid, the whole monsters in the forest thing is just a local legend. Drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to guys like that." Schlatt pointed at a guy distracted by a schlatt bobblehead. "So quit being so paranoid!" Schlatt said. ... "Ugh, Gruncle Schlatt. nobody ever believes what I say." Y/N groaned as they hammer signs in the forest. They hammer another tree but stop when they hear metal. "huh?" They hit it the hammer again in curiosity. Finding a secret door with a machine inside, they mess with the buttons for a bit before something opens up behind them. "What the.." Reaching into the hole, they find a dusty old journal. They brush it off and start reading. "Woah.. trust no one, huh?" Y/N mumbled. "Hello!" Tubbo exclaimed. "What are you reading, some nerd book?" Tommy asked. "Uh-uh, it's nothing!" Y/N exclaimed. "Uh-UH IT'S NOTHING!" Tommy mocked. "What, are you seriously not gonna show us?" Tubbo asked. "..Let's go somewhere more private," Y/N said. ... "It's amazing! Gruncle Schlatt said I was being paranoid, but apparently, Gravity Falls has this secret dark side!" Y/N exclaimed. "WOAH!" Tubbo exclaimed. "SHUT UP!" Tommy pushed Y/N with a grin on his face. "Get this! After a certain point, the pages just stop! Like the guy who was writing it mysteriously disappeared!" Y/N exclaimed.

The doorbell rang. "Who's that?" Y/N asked. "Welp, time to spill the beans! This guy's got a platonic date!" Tubbo grinned. "Platonic??" "Date??" Schlatt walked in as Tubbo came back in with someone. "Hey family, I want you to meet my new platonic boyfriend!" Tubbo exclaimed. "Sup." He said. "Hey." Y/N and Tommy said. "How's it hanging?" Schlatt finger gunned. "We met at the cemetery. He's really deep." Tubbo smiled. "..What's your name?" Y/N asked. "Normal.. Man!" He groaned out. "He means Norman." Tubbo giggled. "..Are you bleeding, Norman?" Tommy asked. "..It's jam." Norman said. Y/N stared at him in suspicion before Tubbo dragged Norman away. There was something with Norman that wasn't right. I decided to consult the journal. Y/N read the journal out loud. "Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes.. these creatures are often mistaken for.. TEENAGERS?!" Y/N exclaimed. "Beware Gravity Falls' nefarious ZOMBIES?!" Y/N gasped. "Zombies??" Tommy gasped. He was sitting there with Y/N. "Tommy, outside!" Y/N exclaimed. "Oh, no! Tubbo!" They both yelled. Norman lurched towards Tubbo, grabbed him, and put a flower crown on him. "Daisies?? You scallywag!" Tubbo gushed. "Is our brother dating a zombie or are we just going nuts?" Tommy muttered. "It's a dillema to be sure." Charlie said. "Agh!" Y/N jumped. "I couldn't help but overhear you guys talking to yourselves in this empty room." Charlie explained. "Charlie, you've seen Tubbo's platonic date, right? He's got to be zombie!" Y/N said. "Hm.. how many brains did you see the guy eat?" Charlie asked. "Zero.." Y/N sighed. "Look, dudes, I believe you. I'm seeing strange thing in this town all the time. Like, the mailman, I'm pretty sure that guy's a werewolf. But! You gotta have proof, or else people will think you're a major cukoo clock." Charlie said. "As always, big C, you're right." Tommy said. "My wisdom is both a wisdom and a curse." Charlie said. "Charlie! The toilets are clogged again!" Schlatt called out. "I am needed elsewhere." Charlie took off. Y/N and Tommy decided to work together to get some evidence. Throughout their studies, Norman certainly had strange behavior, but not enough to convict him of anything supernatural. "I'll talk to Tubbo, don't worry, sib!" Tommy said. "Alright." Y/N nodded. ... Tommy walked into the triplets' shared room. "Tubbo, we've got to talk about Norman." Tommy said. "I know! Isn't he great?? Look at this smooch mark he gave me!" Tubbo turned his head to show a large red area on his face. "Egh!" Tommy cried. "Hah! Gullible. It was just an accident with the leafblower. That was fun." Tubbo laughed. "No, listen, Tubbo! I'm trying to tell you that Norman is not what he seems! The journal that Y/N found!" Tommy insisted. "You think he might be a vampire?? That would be awesome!" Tubbo gasped. "Guess again, big T! A zombie he is!" Tommy said. "A zombie?? Not funny, Tommy!" Tubbo frowned. "I'm not joking! Y/N can agree, it all adds up! The bleeding, the limp, he never blinks! Have you noticed that??" Tommy exclaimed. "Maybe he's blinking when you're blinking." Tubbo suggested. "HE'S GOING TO EAT YOUR BRAINS, BIG T!" Tommy shook Tubbo. "Tommy! Listen to me. Norman and I are going on a date tonight and I'm going to be adorable! He's going to be dreamy! And I'm not going to let you and Y/N ruin it with another one of your crazy conspirices!" Tubbo kicked Tommy out. "Ah man.. what am I gonna do??" Tommy slumped against the door. Someone sat down next to him. "How'd it go, bro-bro?" Y/N asked. "He's refusing to listen.. He kicked me out." Tommy sighed. Y/N frowned. "Not surprising. Hopefully he'll come to that realization in his own." ... The two out of three triplets were sitting on the couch, looking over the footage. "I guess we don't have any actual evidence, huh?" Y/N sighed. "Yeah.. I guess we can be kinda paranoid sometimes-" Tommy stopped. In the footage clip, Norman's hand fell off and he put it back on. "WAIT WHAT?!" Tommy and Y/N exclaimed. They leaped off

the

couch in a hurry. "WE WERE RIGHT! HOLY SHIT!" Tommy exclaimed. Racing outside, the two tried to find their uncle. "GRUNCLE SCHLATT! GRUNCLE SCHLATT!" Y/N called out. Schlatt wasn't paying attention.

"Wait! Niki has the cart!" Tommy suggested. "Good eye, Tommy!" Y/N grinned. "Niki! Niki! We need the cart to save our brother from a zombie!" They ran up to her. "Try not to hit any pedestrains." She winked, giving them the keys. "Alright, Tommy! Let's go save our sister!" Y/N grinned. They backed up before Charlie stopped them. "Dudes! This is for the zombies." He handed them a shovel. "Thanks." Y/N grinned, "This is in case you see a pinata." He handed them a bat. "..Thanks?" Tommy said. "Better safe than sorry!" He called out. Tommy and Y/N sped off to find their brother. They heard screams and drove to the direction of the sound. "LET'S GO!" Y/N exclaimed. "Get his arm there, Steve!" Tubbo was struggling against several gnomes. "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!" Tommy exclaimed. "Tommy! Y/N! Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes! And they're total assholes!" Tubbo cried.

"Gnomes..? We were way off." Tommy mumbled. Y/N flipped open the journal. "Damn.. no weaknesses." They sighed. "Hey! Hey! Let go of my brother!" Y/N demanded. "This is all one big misunderstanding. Your brothers not in any danger! He's just marrying all one thousand of us and becoming our king for all of eternity!" The lead gnome explained. "Give him back right now, or else, prick!" Tommy demanded. "You think you can stop us, child? You have no idea what we're capable of!" The gnome went on a tangent before Tommy scooped him up with the shovel and tossed him to the side. Y/N used that chance to free Tubbo, dragging him back to the kart with Tommy. "GO GO GO!" Tubbo exclaimed. "I wouldn't worry about it. See their little fucking legs? Those pricks are tiny." Tommy smirked. Tommy stopped when they heard the noises of a creature. A giant gnome creature, to be exact. "Damn." Tubbo said. "MOVE! GO GO GO!" Y/N screeched. The giant creature chased them through the forest. Gnomes launched onto the kart. "Agh!" Tubbo exclaimed. "GET OFF MY FACE!" Y/N cried. "I got you, sib!" Tubbo punched the gnome, while also accidentally punching Y/N several times before the gnome let go, revealing new bruises on Y/N's face. "..Thanks bro.." They winced. "Look out!" Tubbo cried. They crashed into the back of the Mystery Shack. They were officially cornered. The triplets hugged each other in terror. "W-where's Gruncle Schlatt??" Y/N asked. "It's the end of the line, kids! Tubbo, marry us before we do something crazy!" The lead gnome ordered. "There's gotta be a fucking way out of this.." Tommy muttered. "I gotta do it." Tubbo decided. "What?!" The other two triplets exclaimed. "Tubbo, are you crazy?!" Y/N asked. "Trust me." Tubbo said. "..What??" Tommy gasped. "Trust me, just this once, guys." Tubbo said. The two hesitated and then nodded. "Alright, Jeff. I'll marry you." Tubbo stepped forward. "Hot dog!" The lead gnome climbed down to Tubbo. "You may now kiss the groom." Tubbo said after the lead gnome put a ring on his finger. "Well, I don't if I do!" The lead gnome grinned, puckering up. Tubbo took that chance to hit him with the leafblower that was left outside. "Agh!" The gnome screamed. "That's for lying to me! That's the breaking my heart! And that's for messing with my siblings!" Tubbo shot the gnome off into the forest and the rest of the gnomes scattered away. As the triplets walked back into the Mystery Shack, Tubbo stopped them. "Hey, Y/N, Tommy, I'm sorry. You two were really just trying to look out for me." Tubbo sighed. "Oh, don't be like that! You saved our asses back there!" Tommy smiled. "I guess I'm just sad that Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes." Tubbo sighed. "Hey, look on the bright side! Maybe the next one will be a vampire." Y/N giggled. "You're just saying that." Tubbo giggled, punching their shoulder. "..Awkward triplet hug?" Y/N suggested. "Awkward triplet hug." Tommy and Tubbo said together, the three of them in a hug. ... "Yeesh, you three get hit by a bus or something? Hahah!" Schlatt laughed. The triplets ignored him. "Hey, um,, I accidentally overstocked some items, why don't you three take something?" Schlatt said. "What's the catch?" Y/N raised an eyebrow. "The catch is do it before I change my mind, now go!" Schlatt said. The triplets grinned at each other. Tubbo picked out a grappling hook, Tommy picked out a music disc, and Y/N picked out a a hat with a bat symbol on it. ... This journal told me that there was no one you could trust. But when you go up against an army of gnomes with side by side with two people, you realize they probably got their back. "Tubbo, can you get the light?" Y/N asked. "You got it, sib!" Tubbo shot the grappling hook at the light. "Oh, for fuck's sake!" Tommy rolled his eyes. Tubbo and Y/N giggled. Our uncle told us there was nothing strange about this town, but who knows what other secrets are waiting to be unlocked? -------