#also he was taking levels in barbarian too

[katyobsesses]

I'm not allowed on tiktok anymore. Or YouTube shorts. Or I assume Instagram reels though I've never watched them. I will just scroll and scroll and scroll and completely lose track of time and suddenly it's 5am and I'm so dehydrated that my mouth feels like a desert

[twinstxrs]

the gorgug-porter conversation is interesting to me because like. yea for the overwhelming majority of the conversation porter’s being shitty & trying to fit gorgug into a box that gorgug just does not fit into by trying to make gorgug’s relationship with his rage more focused on the aggression aspect of it. but then there’s also this specific thing that brennan brought up again in the ap, which is that gorgug’s relationship with his rage is wholly “this is a tool i use to protect my friends.” which isn’t a bad thing! but that’s his Whole relationship with it, & gorgug seems to place next to no value on his rage in relationship to himself. which is problematic, because it’s first & foremost his rage.

being raised in a household with a sort of toxic positivity largely meant that, whether or not it was his parents’ intention, gorgug internalized the message that more traditionally “negative” emotions such as anger are the wrong response to something. part of the reason he prioritizes his artificing is probably because it’s “fixing” things. in comparison to being a barbarian, which gorgug associates with “breaking” things. good vs. bad behavior, in his eyes.

it’s a totally unacceptable bar to measure a 16 y/o by, but i do think part of porter’s reasoning for not letting gorgug multiclass is him recognizing that gorgug generally does not value anger as a valid emotional response to something, at the very least for himself. & that directly conflicts with what being a barbarian is, because whether you like it or not, that rage is what fuels you. but again, barring a kid from pursuing something they deeply care about in part (not entirely, porter has a lot of more bullshit reasons) because of their fundamental values & world outlook is crazy.

so yes, 98% of porter’s reasoning is pretty shitty, immature, rife with a toxic view that there’s only one proper way to access rage, & generally not a good thing to do as a teacher, but also within that reasoning is the 2% of ‘there is a fundamental part of yourself that you only value if you can use it to take care of other people & you need to accept that as something that can take care of you, too.’ but that’s something to discuss with a therapist or a guidance counselor, not something that should hugely impact gorgug’s academic future.

[nickmarini]

Ayden’s Build 

TL;DR: Barbarian 1, Druid  2 (Circle of the Stars), Paladin 8 (Oath of the Ancients), and Cleric 9 (Peace Domain). Feats: Squire of Solamnia, Remarkable Recovery, Warcaster, Knight of Crowns, Spelldriver, Tough.

Building Ayden was a joy and a journey. To begin we were told we had 20 levels to work with and stats of 20 across the board. The only thing I knew about Ayden from the session 0 was that he was going to be a Cleric of the Everlight and that I wanted to make him the best support character I could. I also knew that the Dawnfather was aware of the mission briefing and so would have directed his growth to the task at hand. 

Stats of 20 meant multiclassing into any class was possible and that any ability score based bonuses or proficiency based abilities were going to be very good. I figured that with a warlock and a sorcerer we’d have some pretty good counterspelling and 9th level spell access, so I didn’t worry myself about either of those, instead focusing on making sure we all survived. 

The Dawnfather and The Everlight share 2 of 3 Domains. Life and Light. The Everlight’s 3rd domain is Peace. The Peace Domain cleric is an excellent subclass and its 6th level ability, Protective Bond, was something I knew I wanted to build around. The ability to take hits for, and aid, my siblings while teleporting around the battlefield is an excellent support ability and it also lets allies in the bond do the same, fostering sibling unity and cohesion.

With the Dawnfather having Nature as his unique domain separate from the Everlight, and literally sending himself to Exandria to infiltrate a city full of the greatest mages of the age, the Oath of Ancients Paladin seemed like an obvious path. It is the nature Paladin, (his domain) and 7 levels gives you both Aura of Protection and Aura of Warding. This means as Ayden moves through the battlefield with Protective Bond he will be granting allies +5 to saves from his cha as well as resistance to damage from spells. Incredibly good going up against the wizards of Aeor he knew he would encounter. I didn’t want to go to 10 with Paladin because I didn’t want to be immune to frightened. I just felt that fear played too large a role in the reasons the gods were here and although aura of courage is probably my favorite ability going back to 3rd edition, I felt like it wasn’t right for Ayden. He had to fear in order to reinforce his need to hope. 

These two classes were set relatively quickly and then I began looking at how else I was going to build him out. 

I really liked the idea of being able to grant my allies some extra attacks and so I was looking at battle master to get commanders strike and goading attack as well as maneuvering attack to help take hits for and position my allies. Action Surge is also a great ability that could really come in handy if I needed to save someone and needed one extra action to do so. 

I was also looking at the 2nd level Divination Wizard ability Portent. The ability to fully dictate 2 rolls is very powerful in certain circumstances, especially if the numbers are very high or very low.

Both these seemed good but weren’t feeling totally right from a character perspective. They felt too forced.

As I was playing around with these two classes I was also building Aydens backstory. I really liked the idea of him being agriculturally focused, as this aspect of the Dawnfather is actually his youngest. Sun begets days, and thus time and seasons, and as civilization evolves agriculture follows. The fighter levels lent the idea that he has spent some time training under a knight or some such warrior, and I knew that he would eventually find his way to Trist to begin his tutelage and become her cleric. I liked there being these different eras of his life. 

It was around this time that I got an awesome email asking me to describe Ayden visually so that the incredibly talented Hannah Friederichs and Cael Lyons could begin to bring Ayden and the Dawnfather to life. I wanted Ayden to be a simply dressed with a shield he took from his mentor, but no sword for striking. They sent 4 sketches and told me I could mix and match as I desired. Image #1 however was exactly as I had envisioned him. It was the simplest and had this depth to his eyes that told the story of a much older soul in this 15 year old body. It was so perfect that it made me realize I had been going in the totally wrong direction with fighter and wizard. The concepts of nature and agriculture were suddenly staring me in the face. It was not wizard, but druid, and his mentor could have taught him to be a paladin as easily as fighter, but if he is the bringer of agriculture who has he brought it to? A remote tribe still hunting and gathering was the answer. Barbarian therefore replaced fighter. I can’t tell you how influential the sketch I received was. It felt like a bolt of lightning suddenly clarified everything. 

I was for sure cleric 6, Paladin 7 and now looking at druid and barbarian. 

I didn’t know Druid subclasses very well but Circle of the Stars jumped out from the pack just with its name. The Sun after all is a star. When I read its 2nd level abilities Starmap and Starry form it was so obvious. I can cast Guiding Bolt to set up those attacks I wanted to grant, and I can glow instead of wild shape and either heal more or have a massive bonus to maintain the concentration spells I knew I wanted to cast. For the keeper of time to know how to read the stars just felt right. It also feel right that the druids of a tribe that had been hunting and gathering during the tumultuous Calamity would have learned to navigate by the stars, a singular constant in an every changing age. 

Barbarian has a number of interesting subclasses but none felt like they clicked. 1 level of Barbarian though, for a character with 20 dexterity and 20 constitution, catapults your AC to 20 and it also gives you a proficiency in Constitution saving throws if you take it as your first class, again reinforcing those concentration rolls. He was found as a child by this barbarian tribe and his first class is also his first community. Barbarian was the strong foundation I would build upon. 

I was now Cleric 6, Paladin 7, Druid 2, Barbarian 1. Reorganized to be the order Ayden would have taken them in it becomes the following:

Barbarian 1, Druid  2 (Circle of the Stars), Paladin 7 (Oath of the Ancients), and Cleric 6 (Peace Domain)

4 more levels to distribute. As a player who has mostly played 3.5 (I think downfall just about doubled the amount of 5E I have played) feats are my absolute favorite things, so getting to multiples of 4 in class levels to grab some was something I wanted to do (also I didn’t have to worry about ability score increases)! I had already given one feat up by taking barb and druid but I made up for it with the human variant. I also took the Knight of Solamnia background to give me Squire of Solamnia, the prerequisite for Knight of the Crowns which would give me the ability to grant attacks to my allies without needing battle maneuvers. 

So I upped paladin from 7-8 for a feat and then decided to take Cleric from 6-9 because it gave me a feat and access to the spell Dawn. I mean the Dawnfather should be able to cast Dawn after all! 

Now to feats

1) Background: Squire of Solamnia to give me the prerequisite for Knight of the Crowns

2) Human Variant: Remarkable Recovery. I knew I’d be taking extra damage so having 5 extra hp from any healing I get might just be the difference. It also plays into his background. He had to leave the Barbarian tribe he brought agriculture to because his skin could not retain the ceremonial tattoo ink that would have symbolized his initiation into the community. 

3) Cleric 4 Warcaster to get advantage on those concentration checks, that along with proficiency and starry form of the dragon means I need to take 28 damage (56 if it’s a spell) to even have to roll, and when I do I get advantage and proficiency on the check. Getting me to lose concentration is gonna be a task. 

4) Paladin 4 Knight of the Crown getting to grant an attack proficiency times per day combos wonderfully with Starmaps free guiding bolt, conveniently also proficiency times per day. 

5) Cleric 8 Spelldriver I’m gonna be casting a bunch of spells so the ability to cast multiple each turn is going to make my support spells come out much faster. I have a big fam to take care of!

6) Paladin 8 Tough I really went back and forth between this and Inspiring Leader. Granting all my siblings 25 temp hp is amazing but ultimately I decided that as I’d be tanking a bunch of damage I’d need toughness. Toughness gave me 15 more hp than Inspiring leader would have, and I ended up going down to 14 at one point so it was a decision that very much paid off by a single HP! Don’t wanna pop a deathward if you can help it!

Last but not least we were granted 2 magic items. One very rare and one uncommon. For my uncommon I chose a cloak of resistance, a parting gift from the tribe that Ayden could not join. This upped my saves to 11s or 17s and took my AC to 23. For his very rare magic item I took a spellguard shield, inherited from the knight who brought him from the remote tribe to Trist‘s school, giving me advantage on saving throws vs spells and magical effects and inflicting disadvantages on spell effects targeting me. Combine that with resistance to spells from Aura of Warding and that’s a nasty nasty combo v wizards. 

All in all Ayden’s build is an incredibly hard to target tanky support character who can move through the battlefield protecting his allies and being an absolute nightmare for enemy spellcasters. The only thing I really didn’t fully consider was just how much damage he would take from Warding Bond which totally bypasses all those wonderfully crafted defenses. As crazy as it is, I think we barely got to scratch the surface of Aydens full potential and it’s probably good those mages decided to cast spells at everyone else because Ayden was going to be a tough character for a spell caster to crack. The Commanding Rally did get to shine allowing characters who specialized in weapon attacks to get a little extra out of those 20 level commitments. Ayden’s build was crafted to keep his siblings alive and let them shine as bright as possible together. I’m very proud of him!

If you read all this then you’re as nerdy as me and deserve a reward!

[kitten4sannie]

ᴅᴜɴɢᴇᴏɴ ᴄʀᴀᴡʟᴇʀ

ꜱᴇx ᴘᴏʟʟᴇɴ/ʙᴜᴋᴀᴋᴋᴇ ➠ ᴍɪɴꜱᴀɴʏᴜɴʜᴡᴀ

pairing: half orc! mingi x elf! reader (fem) x barbarian! san x goliath! yunho x tiefling! seonghwa

genre: fantasy au/dnd vibe, humor, gratuitous smut

summary: you go on a quest with a group of brutish, questionable individuals. anything for some gold and riches, right? 

w.c: 6.5k ish…..yeahhhh

the world’s longest list of warnings:  alcohol mention/usage, soft/hard! dom party members, brat in the streets baby in the sheets sub! reader, these mfs have a hard-on for social hierarchies esp mingi (he’s a big pervert too hehe), mxm (real homies jerk each other off), monster fucking (mimic box…listen i saw it in a porn one time and its been my dream to recreate it since okay sue meee take me to court!!), five?? some?? idk they made it work somehow, voyeurism/exhibitionism, praise/degradation, pet names, olfactophilia, aphrodisiacs, teasing, vast size differences, size kink, strength kink, manhandling, oral (receiving), overstim, tit play, bulge kink, handjob, blowjob, titjob, all the jobs actually, double penetration made possible with magic incantations <3, creampies, back shots, and facials for everyoneeee !! one for you!! and for youuu~~ also the word cock is mentioned at least 50 times in this one sorry bout that hshjs

a/n: hi ahhhh so this chaotic jumble of insanity is my baby 🥹 and it’s also my very first filth fest fic of the month !!! so yk what that means ;3 go on and strap in for me okay? it’s about to go down frfr <3 this is a sort of sequel to my half orc mingi fic but it can be read on its own! also i’ve never actually played dnd,, i’ve just heard about it from my brother so don’t expect an extremely accurate representation;;; i did do quite a bit of research tho <33 but yeah that being said…. rip reader’s elussy </3

Now Playing:

ᴅɪʀᴛʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ʙʏ ꜱᴛᴇᴇʟʏ ᴅᴀɴ

0:01 ❍─────── 3:01

Volume: ▁▂▃▄▅▆▇ 100%

ᴘʀᴇᴠ | ꜰꜰꜰ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ | ɴᴇxᴛ

“Ladies and gents, now this is a quest that’s not for the faint of heart,” your local guild master announced, leaning his heavy forearms on the crowded bar table below him, stroking his long, bushy beard absentmindedly, the wood furnishing of the bar creaking underneath his weight. 

The lively room grew a bit more quiet, some individuals quirking their heads in the seasoned barbarian’s direction, yours included. “With a hefty 1000 gold pieces as your reward, this quest requires you to find and locate the rare lujuria plant, then bring its seeds back to me. Unfortunately for you lot, they’re only found in the abandoned dungeons near Mist Falls. Any takers?” 

At the mention of the plant and location, most of the interested individuals turned back to their ale and friends, resuming their loud, enthusiastic conversations. You, however, couldn’t believe how idiotic the other patrons were. You could do quite a lot with 1000 gold pieces, and being a solo adventurer, you wouldn’t even have to share it with anyone. With dollar signs in your eyes and a spring in your step, you headed up to the busy bar, having to get on your tippy toes and wave your hand around past some of the larger patron’s broad shoulders until the guild master noticed your presence. 

“Now, don’t tell me a dainty little high elf is interested in the quest I just announced. You gonna scare them off with your shiny hair and sparkly crystals?” the older man gruffed, letting out a hefty laugh, before taking a couple gulps from the oversized mug he held within his large, calloused hands.

When you simply stood there with your hands crossed over your lace-covered chest, the guild master set his mug down, his bushy eyebrows raising upwards. “Oh, you’re serious.” He leaned down to your level, cupping his hand around one side of his face, allowing you to smell the ale on his breath. “Do you know why no one likes to go to Mist Falls, little Miss?”

You shook your head, causing the small jewels that dangled from your silky hair to sway a bit. You cupped a hand around your own face, murmuring, “Why does no one like it, Mister?”

“There’s some strange wildlife that frequent the land there. Otherworldly things…things that an elf like you wouldn’t want to get wrapped up in,” he explained carefully, looking over the lens of his glasses to squint at you. “Unless, you’re into that sort of thing, of course.” 

Not understanding what he meant by his vague statement, you shrugged it off, taking his underestimation of your abilities as a challenge you couldn’t bear backing down from. “I’ll take the quest, Mister, and I’ll bring you those seeds.” 

The guild master smiled down at you, chuckling a bit, like you weren’t in on the joke that he was so amused by. “Very well, little Miss.” He handed you the rolled-up scroll, his lips still curled into a suspicious smile. “Good luck with your quest.” 

Taking the scroll, you nodded your head at him, a smug smile painting your own face, as you turned on your heels to leave, reveling in the fact that your levels of commitment and intelligence were clearly in the upper echelons compared to the rest of the idiots that frequented the crowded guild.  

Before you could leave without any issues, a deeply familiar, incredibly cocky-sounding baritone voice interrupted your mental victory dance. “Would you look at that. Gonna handle a dungeon all on your own, eh, princess?” 

You quickly turned your head, your eyes landing on the tall, solid beast of a half-man, half-orc standing with one hand resting on his leather-bound hip, his golden eyes slowly studying your body with an almost nauseating amount of interest. “Mingi…” you sighed, the events of your last few meetings flashing through your brain, the tips of your ears turning a faint red. “Oh, you think I can’t handle a stupid quest on my own either, huh?” 

He shook his head, his shaggy silver hair falling in his eyes, forcing him to swipe it out of the way with his large ringed fingers. “Nope.” His simple response encouraged his equally large, equally intimidating party members, who were hanging out near him, to laugh and chatter amongst themselves. 

Now your hands were on your hips, getting hit by a wave of annoyance, your cheeks burning.  “Watch me.” 

Mingi took a step towards you, just to show you and anyone nearby just how much he towered over you, his lips quirking up into a shit-eating grin, still peering down at your body like he could already picture what you looked like without the form-fitting lace dress that was wrapped around your curvy body like a pretty present, one that he wanted to open as soon as possible.

“With a petite little body like yours?” He reached down to slip a finger into your hair, playing with one of the crystals that adorned it. “Yeah, so small and delicate, like a pretty little fairy, ain’t ya? Those monsters in that dungeon will swallow you whole.”

You might’ve hated Mingi to an extent, but he was good. Good at making you feel tiny and desirable, and so wet, you were afraid he’d be able to smell it from where he was standing. You closed your thighs together slightly, lowering your closed fists to your sides, leaning forward. “I-i’m not a fairy, you dumb orc! I'm an elf! And I don’t need your help!” Just as you turned around to leave, Mingi cleared his throat, making you turn your head back to glare at him. 

He placed his other hand on his hip, letting his weight shift to the opposite side, his head tilting the other way. “Sweetheart, listen, I know you’re very capable of getting what you want,” he mused, chuckling softly at the way your face scrunched up slightly in embarrassment. “But, I’m sure you could use some extra party members to back you up. Me and the boys want to help you. Won’t you let us?”

You gazed at Mingi a little while longer, before your eyes shifted to his friends, first drawn to the most elegant-looking tiefling you’ve ever seen. He had sleek skin that looked like expensive marble, his hair as white as the frost that would cover all the lands during the winter months, his heavy horns ridged and curled into an ‘s’ shape, and black as soot, his thin, pointed tail quietly slithering around in a snake-like motion behind the long black cloak that hung from his pointed shoulders. 

“That’s Seonghwa,” Mingi informed, with his arms folded across his wide tattooed chest. “Doesn’t talk much, unless it’s to cast a spell or call me stupid.” 

Seonghwa’s pretty lips formed a smirk, wrapping his arms comfortably around his slim, corseted waist, his sharp, milky eyes focused intensely on you, like he was peering through you and straight into your soul. 

“Oh, are we introducing ourselves?” someone said excitedly, your eyes following the voice upwards until they landed on the handsome face of the gentle-looking goliath standing besides the tiefling. At roughly seven feet tall, the broad man sported shiny, golden locks, pretty brown eyes, and a tribal tattoo that was plastered on his veiny neck, clad only in a thick pelt that sat comfortably around his solid waist, wearing matching furry cuffs on his thick forearms. “I’m Yunho! I like to get drunk and smash stuff. What do you like to do, elf girl?” The goliath stepped forward to shake your hand, his hand completely encompassing yours, your neck almost hurting from having to look up at him. 

“Hi, Yunho,” you replied, smiling softly, feeling a bit dizzy from your vast difference in sizes. Everything about him was just so big, you couldn't help but wonder what else was too. “I’m Y/N. I like to go on quests and collect gold.” 

“Don’t tell me we’re actually going to help a high elf,” the last party member interrupted in a low voice, sneering, showing off his large, rounded canines when you looked past Yunho to scoff at him. “And an annoying one, at that. I don’t care if she’s fuckable. This is still a waste of time.”

Yunho put a large, warm hand on your shoulder, covering it completely. “Don’t take San’s words seriously, sweet. He bullies people when he likes them.” 

The brooding barbarian folded his arms over the thick, furry pelt that covered his broad upper half, rolling his eyes, a few strands of his wild raven hair falling past his forehead. “Or maybe I just don’t like stuck-up little elven brats, ever think of that, Yunho?” His pronounced eyebrows joined together in a bout of sudden fury. “Huh? Can you even hear me up there, you oversized son of a bitch?”

A faint blush appeared on Yunho’s cheeks, smiling in San’s direction, before looking back down at you. “See? He loves me.” 

You returned his smile with a grimace. “He loves being a dickhead too, apparently.”

“Excuse me?!” San growled, about to walk up to the both of you to prove that he only loved moonshine, his trusty club, and himself. 

Mingi stepped in front of San, waving his hands around exasperatedly, wishing someone presented a dialogue skip option a long time ago, bored of the introductions. “Alright, alright, so are you coming with us, or not, princess? What’s the verdict?”

You rolled your eyes, opening the large entrance door of the guild, eventually letting out a long sigh, glancing back over your shoulder with a pout. You knew you had a slim chance of surviving without them, but you still had your pride. You let out a small hmph, annoyed when they still all just stood there waiting, encouraging you to stomp your silk shoe down on the ground, grumbling, “Ugh, are you coming, or what?”

Mingi and his friends chuckled amongst themselves and elbowed each other, amused by the amount of fiery zealousness your tiny body possessed, finishing their mugs of ale, eventually following you out of the guild and onto the dirt road. 

“Hurry up! I wanna explore this dungeon today, not during the next winter solstice!” you called out to them, already at the forest entrance, tossing your head back in an exaggeratedly annoyed fashion.

The half-orc waved his hand around nonchalantly, despite his large lower canines growing more and more visible the more he began to smile, pulling out a small pair of lace panties that had a familiar design etched into them. “Yeah, yeah, don’t get your little elf panties in a twist,” he chuckled, bringing them up to his face to take a sniff.

Your inquisitive expression melted down into one of horror, then scrunched again, this time pleading him with his eyes. “Mingi…don’t tell me you’ve kept those all this time.”

“Of course I have, princess. In fact, I jerk off with them every chance I can in your honor. I can cum real hard just from knowing I turned a high elf onto orc cock forever. I still remember like it was yesterday,” he sighed dreamily, wiping away a fake tear, like had just said the most romantic sentence even known to orckind.

“I still fuck elves, you twat! I don’t need you or your stupid orc cock!” you argued, turning away so that none of them could see how flushed you had gotten, heading into the forest by yourself.

“That’s a damn lie. You showed up to my hut like three times during the Great Hunt not too long ago,” Mingi explained, following after you, his friends following beside him. “Don’t you remember? I had to carry you home after you passed out from squirting too hard.”

“No!” you shouted from ahead of him, swearing you were going to melt into the floor.

“She’s got elven pride, that one,” Mingi sighed, admiring you from behind. “Anyway, I got her soaked panties to prove it. You want to see them, don’t ya, Hwa?” Mingi elbowed Seonghwa, who just shook his head in disappointment, while he continued smiling truimphantly to himself.

࿏࿏࿏

Your group took on a range of opponents, from skeleton armies to disingenuous slime cubes that you may or may not have fallen into, able to pass through quite a few levels of the dungeon, mostly due to Seonghwa’s spell casting abilities, San’s uncontrollable rage, Yunho’s knack of destroying anything he came in contact with, and Mingi’s axe-wielding skills. Did you want to admit that to yourself? Sure. Out loud? No, of fucking course not. 

You picked off bits of pink slime that still clung to your wet form, grumbling under your breath about how sticky you felt, not even noticing that some of the slime had already absorbed into your skin. 

“Need a little help there, princess?” Mingi mused, reaching down to your shoulder and wiping off some of the slime for you, his fingers tingling once he had done so. 

“I suppose so,” you murmured, standing still so that he could continue helping you, surprisingly not even that bothered when the other members of your newfound party all gathered around you and picked or pulled off the remnants of slime that remained on your body, face, and hair. 

As you entered the next room, all five of you noticed how the tinglyness remained, how it spread throughout your bodies like a gentle ripple effect, your bodies now collectively hot to the touch, though no one said anything to each other — at least, not yet, anyway. 

“A chest!” you gasped excitedly, putting your dagger back into its respective holder and running up to the large, gold-plated chest that sat at the edge of the room, just waiting for someone to open it up and collect its contents. 

“Don’t be stupid, elven brat. Not all chests are filled with treasure. Some of them could be decoys. You know that, right?” San rested the rounded bottom of his ginormous club down onto the dungeon floor, leaning on it, raising an eyebrow at you. “Or do you only familiarize yourself with crystals and orc cock?” 

“Shut up!” You held onto the barbarian’s insult, rather than hearing him out. “You’re just saying that because you want the treasure for yourself!” You got on your knees in front of the chest, muttering, “Selfish prick.” 

“What’d you say?!” San barked, his hand squeezing around the thick handle of his weapon. 

Mingi slung an arm around San’s tense shoulders, smiling as though he was quite pleased with himself. “She’s got a mouth on her, huh?” He met San’s grimace with a shoulder squeeze. “Don’t worry, Sannie. She’s gonna learn the hard way.” 

Yunho walked up beside Seonghwa, lowering himself down to sit on the cool stone ground with a thud, wiping a bit of perspiration that had formed on his forehead. “I’ve been feeling weird since we left the slime room, Hwa. Can you cast a healing spell?” 

“Yeah, me too, now that you mention it,” Mingi called out, rubbing his sweat-covered neck with his free hand, encouraging San to open his own black furry coat, revealing an expanse of sweaty, tan, tattooed skin underneath it. 

Seonghwa nodded his head in agreement, waving his hand around in front of him, manifesting a large glowing violet pentagram into existence, which eventually disappeared after the spell had be casted completely, a faint glow still visible around the edges of your bodies. 

“Mm, I don’t really feel any different…” Mingi mumbled, his hot-blooded body even more tingly than before, starting to feel like he could fuck someone into oblivion right at that moment, even more than usual. 

Once you had opened up the chest, ignoring the subsequent pounding inside your chest and cunt, you were met by a multitude of shiny, gold coins just waiting for you to take. “Holy shit, I’m rich!” 

“You better split that with us, before I split you in half with my cock, stupid elf!” San griped from where he stood, now a bit hunched over, his words slightly slurred, not even fully realizing what he was saying. 

“Wh-what?!” you squeaked, your ears bright red, turning your head to look at the barbarian in disbelief, not even noticing when the chest in front of you began to sprout limbs, a long, slimy tongue slipping out past the gold. 

“I said, I’ll split you open–” San fully dropped his club, which resulted in a resounding thud inside the small room. He pointed an accusatory finger in your direction, blinking at you through his hazy vision, using his other hand to grab at himself through his furry kilt. “–with my big, barbarian cock!” 

Yunho pointed at you as well, wanting you to notice the big monster that was about to have its way with you. “Um, Y/N, you should…” 

“Not now, Yunho, I have to tell this idiot barbarian to suck my clit!” you informed angrily, holding your middle finger up at San, which he returned enthusiastically. 

“Oh, yeah? Then, get your fucking ass over here and sit on my face, you elf slut,” San barked back, sticking his tongue out at you, still holding onto Mingi, appearing drunker by the second — though it wasn’t alcohol running rampant through his body. It was lust. The rest of them were feeling it too. 

“Slut? I’ll show you slut,” you grumbled, about to stand up and give San a piece of your mind, your fist, and possibly your body when the mimic suddenly snatched you up with its long limbs and pinned you to the floor. “Oh my god, what’s happening? What the fuck is that?!” 

San simply chuckled, leaning his back against the cold concrete wall of the small room, trying to cool his intensely heated body down. “That’s a mimic, dummy. I’m sure you can handle it though, since you’re so tough.” 

Mingi looked to his friends, biting at his lip, noticing that none of them even attempted to assist you, more concerned with finding out what the monster was about to do to you. Even Yunho, who was the only one with any semblance of a conscience out of the entire party, somehow couldn’t bring himself to get up, instead answering to the oversized tent that was forming underneath his pelt. 

The mimic pinned your wrists together above your head with one strong hand, using the other to lift one of your legs up into the air, breathing harshly as it studied your slick cunt through your tiny lace panties, eventually licking a long stripe up your body, from your pussy up to your chest, leaving your white garments completely soaked and see-through. 

Trying desperately to free your hands from the monster’s unwavering grip, unable to prevent more slick from leaking out of you with your legs being held open, you angled your head back to look at the upside-down versions of your party, crying out, “Are you fuckers just going to sit there and watch?!” 

“Yeah…we are, sweetheart,” Mingi sighed out, still leaning on San, a few drops of sweat cascading down his flushed face. He dragged his tongue across his teeth, breathing in the flowery scent of your arousal, inhaling so deeply his bull ring shifted slightly. “I’m sure you got it handled. Just tire it out with that wet fucking cunt of yours, will ya?” 

A strong wave of pleasure pulsed through your body at Mingi’s response, looking to each of the members, realizing that they were really just going to observe as you got pleasured by the monster, getting more aroused by the second. What was wrong with you? You would’ve contemplated it more, but any thoughts you had would completely fizzle out once the mimic’s tongue came in contact with your cunt, licking you up and down in a rapid, desperate fashion. Its tongue was so heavy and hot against your pulsing cunt, you couldn’t help but cum within a few minutes, your body going limp. “Fuuuck, oh my god…” 

“Came nice and hard, didn’t you?” Mingi continued to share his filthy words with you and his party, all five of you reacting positively to it. “I can fucking smell it, princess…” His smile twisted into a faux pout, his voice dripping with lust. “That tongue isn’t enough for you though, is it? Mm-mm, not nearly enough. You need cock stuffed inside your tight elven pussy, don’t you, darlin’?”

All you could do was let out a long pathetic whine, your flushed, fucked-our face giving Mingi and the boys the answer they needed. Now that you weren’t fighting back, the mimic lifted your lower half up into the air, positioning you so that its tongue could slither inside you, pistoning it in and out of your willing hole, your upper half hanging upside down, your tits bouncing with each of the mimic’s thrusts of its wet appendage, your writhing body on display for your party members’ viewing pleasure. “I’m…going to…kill you all…for watching…” you huffed out in between moans, drool slipping out past your parted lips. 

Mingi turned his head to share looks with his friends, all of them now dealing with the same almost painful predicament. “Are you all as hard as I am…?” When they nodded, he felt a little less guilty, reaching down to rub at his leaking cock through his kilt, able to feel how stiff it was even through the thick material. He gazed down at you, biting at his bottom lip, holding onto the thick leather of his body harness, trying not to blow his load too quickly. “It feels good, doesn’t it, princess? I can hear how just how sloppy that mess of a cunt is…Do you like the way it’s fucking you senseless with its tongue? Is it filling you up just right?” 

You couldn’t believe just how turned on you were in the moment, hardly about to breathe in between your bouts of pleasure, your body beginning to sieze up when the mimic shoved its tongue as deep as it could go, causing a prominent bulge to form inside your lower stomach. “S-so good, Min, gonna cum again…” 

“Cum for us, baby, that’s it…” Mingi sighed, leaning his shoulder against San’s, noticing how he began to play with his cock through his kilt, doing his friend a solid and reaching over to stroke the base of it for him. 

Groaning underneath his breath, San reached over to help Mingi out as well, the both of them hyperfixated on the way the mimic drank up your juices as though it needed it to live. Seonghwa and Yunho were in a similar position, but instead of answering to their aching cocks, they simply watched on, the visual stimulation clearly enough for them. 

The mimic lifted your limp body upwards so that you were on your knees, with its large, agile tongue fitted in between your trembling thighs, grabbing you by the waist so that it could drag you back and forth along its long, slimy appendage. “Just like that, oh my god, it’s so–fuck–” you gasped, barely able to look at the men that were huddled around you, the new position not allowing you to hide away from their hungry gazes, your body on full display for them. 

With his hand now fully hidden underneath San’s kilt, Mingi nodded his head at you in approval. “That’s my naughty little elf girl,” he praised you in a gravelly voice, groaning at the sensation of San tugging at his dripping cock from underneath his own pelt. “Let me see you cum one more time for us, princess. Can you do that?” 

“Yes, Mingiii, I’ll cum for you,” you whined obediently, reaching down your shiny, wet body to rub your clit around through your thin, soaked panties, unable to keep your mouth closed anymore from how hard you were breathing. 

“What a good listener you are, baby. Look at you playing with your tiny little clit without me having to ask. Such a good elf girl you are,” Mingi continued to praise you, knowing exactly what made you tick, his hand squeezing around San’s throbbing length. 

San let out a higher pitched moan, his body beginning to tremble against Mingi’s. “I can’t believe you–unnh–managed to tame her so easily…” 

“It wasn’t hard, Sannie…fuck– She may be a brat, but she’s a good girl at heart…” Mingi was beginning to fall apart as well, San’s calloused hand continually rubbing along his cock enhancing the pleasure of watching you willingly playing with yourself while you rode a monster’s tongue, his party’s presence filling him with even more warmth. “Cum for us, sweetheart, show us how pretty you are when you fall apart…” 

Mingi’s praise-filled request mixed with the sensation of your puffy clit grinding along the mimic’s slick tongue sent you barreling over the edge, cumming so hard, you saw stars, barely able to grasp at the dagger that still sat inside its holster.

Meanwhile, San and Mingi both began to groan and shudder against the cool dungeon wall, shooting their hot loads onto each other’s hands and the insides of their pelts. Seonghwa and Yunho both coated their own undergarments with white, biting into their bottom lips so hard they just about broke the skin.

They were all so deep in their wells of ecstasy that they hardly even noticed when you let out a war cry and stabbed the mimic with your long dagger, rendering it dead, causing it to fade away in a flurry of sparkly, white dust, leaving a few gold pieces for you to take. 

“I told you I could fucking take care of myself,” you grimaced, shoving your items into a small pouch you had hanging from your upper thigh.

Once the post-nut clarity set in, Mingi cleared his dry throat, scratching at his prickly chin. “I mean, you did defeat the mimic on your own, so credit is due when credit is due, princess. You just used your pussy to combat it…which is just as valid as using a real weapon, don’t get me wrong–”

“Shut it!” you simply yelled, your face so hot, it probably rivaled the surface of the sun, stomping past the recovering men and pushing the next door open once it unlocked itself, wasting no time to enter the last floor of the dungeon where the supposed lujuria plant was said to grow. 

“Let’s go help her out with that plant. And remember, whatever happens, happens. Just know I’m not fucking any of you.” Mingi patted San’s shoulder, looking over to the other members of his party with a playful smile.

San smacked Mingi’s back playfully, which Mingi returned. “Let’s put that elf brat in her place.”

Mingi nodded. “Yeah, on my cock where she belongs.”

Seonghwa scoffed from beside them. “Could you be anymore crass?”

Yunho patted Mingi’s and Seonghwa’s shoulders, practically dislocating them, smiling goofily, his cheeks and face flush from the energy he exerted.  “What happens in the dungeon, stays in the dungeon, boys.”

Seonghwa quietly nodded his head in agreement, until he murmured softly, “Indeed.” 

࿏࿏࿏

“Where are you, you stupid fucking plant?” you called out inside the vast, foliage-covered room, swiping at the overgrown leaves and plants that were in your way, almost tripping over a few vines that grew in and out of the broken-up cobblestone floor below your feet. 

The rest of your party followed your lead, Mingi and Yunho taking the initiative to cut down the thicker plants and foliage that stood in your way with their axes, almost completely out of breath when you finally came across a large pink plant growing in the middle of the room. 

“I’m assuming that’s it,” you said mostly to yourself, slowly walking up to the plant, impressed by its intricate petals and inviting flowery scent. “It’s not as scary as I thought it’d be. It’s almost…pretty…” 

Just as you reached out to touch it, Seonghwa opened his mouth to warn, “Wait, don’t–”

As soon as your slender fingers came in contact with one of the flower petals, the plant sent out a puff of dusty pink pollen directly into your face and the air around your party, before folding in on itself and growing comically large spikes to protect its core which contained the golden glowing seeds you needed to complete your quest. 

You began choking and coughing along with the others, reaching out blindly through the thick pollen, finding solace in Seonghwa’s arms, who began reciting a spell to lessen the effects of the plant’s attempt at self defense, but it was too late. Mind-altering desire had already set in. “Can’t breathe…can’t think…” you whispered, grabbing at Seonghwa’s chest, unbuckling his top and revealing his smooth, marble skin, henna-like tattoos decorating his jewelry-adorned collar bone. 

Seonghwa clutched your shoulders, breathing just as profusely as you were, murmuring, “Don’t think, then, silly elf,” before pressing his mouth onto yours with haste, his long, snake-like tongue slipping inside your mouth to explore it.

Strong, solid hands grabbed at your hips from behind, Mingi pulling them back so that he could grind his cock into your ass, his lips already ghosting along your neck. His deep, gravelly voice made you let out a weak moan into Seonghwa’s mouth when he sighed, “Gonna fill your cunt full of my cum, sweetheart. So fucking full.” 

“Then, I get to fill her slutty elf cunt with my tongue first,” San interrupted, already on his knees, positioning himself in between you and Seonghwa, not hesitating to tear your skirt and panties apart to access your rapidly dripping cunt. “So pink, so pretty…” He attached his drooling mouth onto your clit, sucking so roughly, your knees almost buckled underneath you, about to completely collapse when he plugged your hole up with his hot tongue. 

Seonghwa pulled away slightly, finally letting you breathe without having his tongue down your throat, instead completely shredding  the front of your dress with his talons, just in time for Mingi to groan and cup your tits, squeezing and moving them around, saliva leaking past his plump lips. “I always know exactly what your idiotic orc brain is thinking,” he sighed at Mingi, bringing his own hands up to tweak and pinch at your nipples, making you cry out. 

“Oh, yeah? Can you read my mind right now, Hwa? Can you tell that I’m about to stretch this elf’s little fuckhole wide open with my fat fuckin’ cock?” he said near your twitching, elongated ear, his hard length slipping in between your thighs to rub along the underside of your cunt, his dark eyes settled on Seonghwa’s before returning to your slick body, their hands moving in tandem to play with your tits, each getting a chance to squeeze your squishy flesh and tease your increasingly puffy nipples. 

Yunho, who was hard beyond measure and feeling a little left out, walked up to the side of you and reached down to show off his enormous cock, the slick , oversized tip an angry shade of red. He pouted down at you, letting out a small whimper. “Can you please help me out, sweet? I’m so hard, it hurts…” 

Unable to resist his puppy-dog eyes, you nodded, licking your lips, collecting his vast amounts of pre-cum at the rounded tip with your fingers, eventually using it to slick up the rest of his cock, doing your best to jerk him off with your small hands. “Does that feel good, Yunho?” 

“So good, doll,” he gasped, leaning his head back, not registering when he began to thrust his hips forward into your hands, using them like a fleshlight. 

You’re so big, Yunho, fuck– I can hardly wrap my hands around it…” you sighed out, opening your mouth to lick at the tip of his cock each time he thrusted into your hands. Your mind went blank, until you suddenly remembered that San was in between your squeezing thighs, devouring your cunt like it was his last meal, his tongue and lips wreaking havoc on your clit, his thick fingers shoved inside your pulsing hole.

“Like the way I’m eating this cunt of yours, eh, elf girl?” San mumbled in between slurps, gulping your juices down, a few dribbles of it cascading down his veined throat. “You don’t even need to answer, love. I can tell you do just from the way you’re fuckin’ squeezin’ my fingers.” San groaned deeply, watching the way you dripped for him as he continually went knuckles-deep inside you, biting his bottom lip, growling, “Cum for me. Cum all over my face, you brat. Fuckin’ do it.”

You unraveled almost instantaneously, getting your creaminess sucked off of your slit by the desperate barbarian, not even noticing that he had been jerking himself off so roughly, he had already made himself cum before you did. 

“Goddamn it, since when did high elf squirt taste so fuckin’ good?” San mumbled drunkenly to himself, licking at his swollen lips, prior to sucking your cum from his fingers noisily.

“You’ve had your fun, Sannie boy. It’s time for this little elf girl to experience the pleasure of getting broken in by real men. Hwa, you know what to do,” Mingi announced hastily, already bringing you down to the floor so that you were about to slowly take the half-orc’s cock in your cunt from behind, Seonghwa supporting your front, the tip of his tail already brushing back and forth over your swollen clit, rubbing his large, ridged cockhead on your puffy lips to slick them up with his pre-cum, his own plump lips moving at a quick pace, expertly reciting an incantation that would allow you to physically take two obscenely large cocks at once, all well as increasing your natural lubricant and allowing you access to heightened physical sensations.

“Fuck, look at you…What a good little elf girl you are, taking us both inside you like this,” Mingi sighed into your ear, reaching around your body to lazily rub your wetness into your sensitive clit. “Almost like you were made to take monster cock, huh? Not made for little elven peckers, it seems.” He pressed his hand into your lower abdomen, able to feel the pronounced outline of his friend’s abnormally large length. “Mm, that’s right. You loved being stuffed full of monster cock, don’t you, sweetheart?”

“Love it, Min, so much,” you choked out, your mind going positively blank, the only thing on your mind being the insanely pleasurable stretch you felt inside your core, knowing you were quite literally filled to the brim. “Feels so good, I can’t think.”

“Why think when you can just feel good, princess?” he chuckled, rubbing your tummy in an up and down motion, feeling the outline of Seonghwa’s thick, ridged length with his calloused fingers, shuddering from the sensation of their slippery cocks rubbing along one another inside your tight, slick walls . He nuzzled your neck and the side of your face with his prickly cheek, whispering onto your skin, “M’ so proud of you, sweetheart. I broke you in before and now here you are, taking big tielfing cock in your pussy while an orc’s stuffing you just as full. What a pretty sight you are. Wish I could take a picture.”

“Oh my god, Mingi, please, it’s so–” you could hardly verbalize, your eyes just about rolling into your skull, your body pulsing with so much pleasure, you could barely keep up with what was happening around you.

Mingi routinely filled your elongated ears with more filthy words, Seonghwa gazing deeply at you, your willing hole continuing to clench around their thrusting cocks, getting stretched so pleasurably, you almost passed out from that sensation alone.

All the while, San positioned himself in from of your tits, squeezing them together and driving his cock back and forth between them, grunting and groaning each time.

Yunho gently grabbed your chin, coaxing your mouth open as wide as it would go, whispering, “That’s it, my sweet, just a little wider…” He began to feed you his cock, stuffing your mouth full and instinctively fucking your throat, your jaw already beginning to ache from the obscene girth. “You’re so tiny…can barely take it…huh?” Moaning breathily, Yunho eventually settled for fucking the inside of your gummy cheek, afraid that he would suffocate you if he continued to throat fuck you.

It seemed that this quartet had been in this exact position before. That was clear to you now. You couldn't have been more wet and willing if you tried. Getting used by two filthy men while two more watched and desperately tried to get off using your body in any way they could filled you with a sense of purpose you didn’t realize you had always sought after. 

“You want our cum in your pretty elf cunt, princess?” Mingi huffed, in between harsh, deliberate thrusts, his hands cemented on the reappearing bulge in your stomach. “Huh? You want us to make a mess of you, aye? Want to be fucked so full of our seed, you’ll give us pretty elven offspring?” 

Once Yunho freed your saliva-streaked mouth from his suffocating length and resorted to jerking himself off, you were able to reply in a fucked-out, slurred voice, “Yeah–yeah–yeah– fill me up, wan’ it all. All your cum, in me, on me, I need it, pleaseee.” 

Your willing party members’ highs all crescendoed in succession, Mingi resorting to sloppy, rough thrusts inside your tight hole until he spilled most of his load into you, his cum splashing onto Seonghwa’s cock, dripping along their lengths to form a milky rim. “Oh, fuck, that’s it…but I’m not done yet, princess…I gotta–nngh–leave my mark on my favorite elf…” He slowly pulled out with lewd pop, coaxing a few more cum shots out of his cock with a large, closed fist, watching the large milky droplets slide along your smooth skin and torn sections of your dress onto the curve of your exposed ass, his eyes creasing with clear adoration. “That’s more like it…”

“W-was that necessary…?” you murmured, trying not to cum just from the sensation of getting stuffed full of cum, sensing that Seonghwa was next in line to come undone inside you.

“Oh, my gods, I…see heaven,” Seonghwa gasped sharply, the whites of his boundless eyes glowing brightly, his lips parting to allow a shaky moan to escape. Seonghwa gripped your hips so tightly, he was bound to leave handprints, relying on slow, deliberate strokes, using your contracting cunt to milk the cum from his cock, unable to resist leaving a few drops on your clit and mound when he pulled out.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, gonna cum all over these tits, you little elven slut, take itttt,” San gritted his teeth, his jaw tightening, only having to pump himself between your slick, pre-cum covered tits once more before he was able to leave thick spurts of white all over the bottom of your heated face and lips, leaving most of his load on your messy tits.

“O-oh, godddd…!” Yunho came last, and the most, closing his hands around his reddened tip, whining profusely, unable to keep himself from completely unloading all over your pretty face and hair, practically drenching you in his cum. 

Mingi reached down to cup your chin, tilting your head back so that he could get a good look at you, admiring the way their collective seed dripped off and out of you, swearing he could shed a tear from such a beautiful sight. “Look at you. My pretty princess.”

You gently nuzzled his large hand, smiling contentedly, tasting the salt of someone’s load on your lips when you licked at them. “Your pretty princess…” 

It took a while for all of you to come down and catch your breath, the effects of the pollen still practically running through your veins, but you managed to wobble your way over to the main plant and slowly pull your trusty dagger out of its holder, slashing the plant until its precious seeds dropped into your open palm. You looked down at the golden, glowing seeds, your fingers still splattered with milky liquid, reminding you of the trials you conquered to get to your ultimate goal. As you wiped your sticky face with your sleeve, you looked around at your panting, much more docile party members, wondering if it was all worth it. 

Mingi brushed some of his sweaty hair out of his eyes, noticing the way you were looking up at him, sending a cocky smile your way. “So, you’re 200 gold pieces richer, princess. How does it feel?” 

“Huh?” you questioned immediately, your fingers closing around the pouch that contained the precious lujuria seeds. “It was 1000 gold pieces. Did fucking me stupid render you stupid instead?” 

“I’m sorry, darlin’, but with each party member fee, it rounds out at 200 a person,” he corrected you, bringing you in to give you a gentle hug and a pat on the ass, chuckling delightedly to himself, his friends joining in on the amusement. “That’s still quite a bit. You can buy yourself a pretty new dress since yours is all torn and drenched in our cum, ya’ know?” He leaned his head in your direction, twiddling his large thumbs, his smile growing more lewd. "That means I can have the one you're wearing right now, yeah?"

You grimaced, your blood boiling over, already stomping your way out of the last dungeon floor, your voice still growing louder and louder the further you walked away, swearing to yourself, “This is the last time I do anything with you, Mingi! Never again. Never! EVER!” 

Mingi simply waved off at his friend’s questioning gazes, holding the seeds that you had taken from the plant inside his own hand, admiring their shimmering edges. “Don’t worry. She always comes back.” 

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[villadiodatis]

Give it up for the Bad Kids at level 14!

After acing the Last Stand and their junior year, the Bad Kids have gotten a well-deserved level up to 14! Let's see what's in store for them. (As always, my previous recaps for levels 11, 12, and 13 can be found at these links!)

Adaine: Wizard 14. Adaine learns two new 1st-7th level spells (in addition to whatever she's learned from her downtime rolls, which as of this episode is MANY new spells). She also gets her final subclass feature, Greater Portent, which lets her roll 3 portents every long rest (improved from 2). She can also now prepare 19 spells a day (previously 18).

Fabian: Fighter 6/Bard 8 (was Fighter 6/Bard 7). Fabian gets a second 4th-level spell slot and learns a new 1st-4th level spell. In addition, he's increased his charisma by 2, taking it to 20--he is now the most dexterous and most charismatic you can be without magical help! Maximum Legend indeed. With this increase, his modifier goes up to +5, and his spell save DC, attack bonus, and all CHA-based skills (Deception, Intimidation, Performance, Persuasion) go up by one. He can also now use Bardic Inspiration 5 times per short rest, improved from 4.

Fig: Bard 10/Paladin 3/Warlock 1 (was Bard 10/Paladin 2/Warlock 1). Fig has reached her paladin Sacred Oath subclass! We don't know which it is yet (although many people have speculated Devotion), but it will include access to two new spells specific to her oath and two Channel Divinity options, which she can use once per short or long rest. I believe her spell slots remain the same due to multiclass shenanigans, but please correct me if I got that wrong. She also gets Divine Health, which makes her immune to disease.

Gorgug: Barbarian 5/Artificer 9 (was Barbarian 6/Artificer 7). Gorgug continues to swap around barbarian and artificer levels! With this change, he loses Mindless Rage (so he can now be charmed or frightened while raging) and gains an unknown feat, access to 3rd level spells and two 3rd-level spell slots, and an unknown Barbificer subclass feature. (EDIT: I had forgotten he's not a Battle Smith anymore; thanks to @lookin-reproachfully for reminding me!)

Kristen: Cleric 14. Her Destroy Undead ability can now destroy undead creatures of CR3 or lower on a failed save, which includes ghasts, ghouls, poltergeists, and skeletons, although there are a lot of undead Brennan could throw at them. She can also now prepare 19 spells a day (previously 18).

Riz: Rogue 14. We saw Riz put his new feature, Blindsense, to great use this episode! He is now aware of any hidden or invisible creatures within 10 feet of him, as long as he can hear. (Hopefully he can use that against Kipperlilly too…) He also learns one new 1st-3rd level spell, which can be a Wizard spell from any school.

And across the board, everyone's HP goes up and they get another hit die!

One little bonus--this episode, we discovered Kipperlilly is a Mastermind Rogue. An ability of hers that might come in handy is Master of Intrigue--if she has observed a creature for 1 minute, she can "unerringly mimic" their speech patterns and accent. I'll let you all speculate on what she might do with that, and I'll see you all if/when we hit level 15.

[wordslikesilver]

I am once again thinking about Hoarah Loux, the only man Marika ever trusted and the only man she ever loved. It’s such an insane thing to think about the fact that the second last boss of Elden Ring is Some Guy. He is literally just A Human Man. Marika looks at this fucking raving barbarian man and decides to My Fair Lady him into a Lord like the deranged woman she is by assigning him a babysitter to perpetually gnaw on his neck whenever he’s in public. As insane as all that sounds, let’s break down that imagery a little because it’s actually really good! His babysitter is the king of beasts, a lion named Serosh, who digs his claws and his fangs into Hoarah Loux’s body to keep him suppressed and restrained enough in temperament to now be fit to be named Godfrey, The First Elden Lord of Queen Marika.

Serosh is frankly quite mysterious as far as what he actually is goes but as far as story themes go, he’s a really interesting symbol of lordship. The lion basically IS Godfrey’s crown, it’s what makes him Godfrey. The symbolism is essentially stating in a very overt way that this man is more savage than all the beasts of the world. In Elden Ring, beasts with five fingers indicate an enlightened or elevated intelligence, blessed by the greater will. It’s fascinating how it’s basically stating that Serosh is more intelligent, refined and noble than Hoarah Loux, that this man is more wild and savage than the greatest of all the beasts in the world. That only a beast king could teach this man to be a Lord. Godfrey can rip him apart anytime but he doesn’t. It takes more than strength of body to wear a crown and he knows it. He needs Serosh to honour and do right by Marika. He is showing his opponents a courtesy, as he puts it. Morgott takes after his example and so too is Radahn inspired by him. It’s really wonderful imagery.

There’s more to the symbolism. My knowledge of alchemy is, I completely admit, too surface level to elegantly speak at length but I’ve done some light reading online to back up my confidence in what I’m saying. We know Miyazaki loves dark edgy anime like Berserk and I posit that he also gained inspiration from the anime/manga Hellsing, in which the main character recites the line “I am the bird of Hermes, eating my own wings to make me tame.” This line comes from the Ripley Scroll and is theorized to have many meanings but popularly is presumed to mean giving up higher philosophy and knowledge to live normally on the earth as a human. Miyazaki uses lots of alchemical symbolism in his works, Elden Ring especially (go watch Quelaag’s videos!) so I could be totally full of shit about hellsing but I’m completely confident that Godfrey is meant to be an inversion (like literally everything else about his character) of what the Bird of Hermes represents. Godhood is a prison, a shackling. The entire plot is Marika (and Ranni tbh) trying to escape that imprisonment. Godfrey loves Marika enough to chain himself down, to eat his own wings, to pull out his own teeth and claws for her to make himself tame and ascend to lordship.

What’s especially fascinating about him is that he carries Serosh out into the badlands with him, as the opening cutscene shows. Cut dialogue indicates he already knew the Elden Ring would shatter and the tarnished would be beckoned to return. That Marika told him her plan in full before she took from him and his warriors the grace of gold and sent them away. A line from him saying to trust in gold, always, that it will guide our fates to our true destiny has wonderful implications I would certainly love to expand on in another post maybe. Hoarah Loux was just a human man and Marika trusted him enough to tell him everything. Trusted him with her gambit to escape the shackles of godhood. This is the fascinating part about taking Serosh with him. Keeping himself disciplined enough to remain a Lord when he returns. To hold back his aching heart just enough that he could follow through on this dark plan and allow his wife to protect him from the machinations of the greater will by sending him away. Also note that in that opening cutscene, he’s being crucified, with a lion about his shoulders and spear buried in his abdomen. They could not be milking the Jesus imagery harder if they tried. The Bird of Hermes is also thought to represent Christ, more points for that symbolism.

I love Godfrey so much as a character. He loved his sons and he loved his wife. The tenderness that he holds Morgott with is enough to make me cry. How he wished he could’ve seen him sooner, I’m all too sure. He’s the only other character we see guided by grace in the entire game. Marika guides you and her beloved husband, that’s it, that’s how much she trusts him. When he rips Serosh from his shoulders, you understand how Marika felt such faith in him. In Elden Ring, it is through battle that you face the true self of an opponent. Godfrey reveals to you Hoarah Loux, Warrior Chieftain of the Badlands. It is a test. Are you worthy to free her? Can you do what I could not? I have shown you courtesy enough as a Lord. You served me well, Serosh. I relieve you of your burden and feel only gratitude for your service. Now begins the test. Are you, tarnished, stronger than the only man who was strong enough to bear the burden of Lordship? Are you stronger than the only man that Queen Marika ever trusted? Are you stronger than the only man she ever loved?

[remembrancer-of-heresy]

You know, I love power imbalances. It’s always interesting to write about serfs. But since I value art (Serve the 3rd Legion), I prefer the remembrancers. And I decided to think about which particular remembrancers would be most interesting to write about relationships with the primarchs. Here is the list:

Documentarist (Journalist): Horus Lupercal, Roboute Guilliman.

For the first, it is important to feel his importance and self-centeredness. Write down his story as vividly as possible so that everyone understands how wonderful he is and how hard he tries. How much people should appreciate him and respect the title of Warmaster. Well, over time, you will truly become a personal documentarist when he decides to reveal to you the personal aspects of his life. So this time you have appreciate how wonderful he is.

The second needs a documentarist to record the history of the Imperium. He respects your order. And your personality. Because you are not a sycophant and write everything as it is. In 40k he needs a documentarist so that everyone will start seeing him again as a man and not a god. Alas, you will have to write down even the strangest things, such as “In such year, Guilliman could not lift a piece of paper because his armor was in the way. He joked. Cato didn’t laugh.”

Imagist: Alpharius/Omegon, Corvus Corax, Lion El'Jonson.

Simple and functional. You stay out of the way and photograph important events that can be studied later. And considering your profession, you have quite a high level of insight. And this attracts such hidden and suspicious individuals as these primarchs.

Historiographer (Historian): Magnus the Red, Jaghatai Khan, Leman Russ

The thirst for knowledge and the desire to understand the past will definitely bring you and Magnus together. You will literally be on the same page, discussing many events from different angles.

Well, given the fact that you are a historian, everything is interesting to you. Including a foreign culture that you respect and try to understand. At this moment, Jaghatai Khan is already taking you away on a bike.

And since you know that history can write one-sided personalities, you understand that something deep may be hiding behind the barbarian. You know it's a façade. At this moment, Leman is already throwing you over his shoulder.

Musician: Angron, Mortarion, Konrad Curze.

The way your fingers gently touch the instrument, the compositions you create. But the most important thing is your voice. Reminiscent of the rustling of leaves or the murmur of a river. Feels like fog. The best reassurance for unstable primarchs like these trio.

Painter: Fulgrim, Sanguinius.

These art lovers will love all the remembrancers. But I am sure that they will give preference to painters. Because they paint the real world as they see it. Because they would like to see the world like that and so on. A real space for imagination that knocks primarchs off their feet. And if, in addition to your talent, you also have your own different opinion about art (+ perfection), then at that very second you will have a very artistic admirers.

Sculptor: Perturabo, Dorn, Ferrus Manus.

Well, there’s no need to rant too much here. The first two primarchs regularly play with large-sized Lego. So it will be much easier for them to communicate with a sculptor who will understand them at least a little. But yes, praise from them is also like a stone. Ferrus Manus loves art, but not to the same extent as Fulgrim. A sculptor would be much more suited to Manus's aesthetic views than a painter or musician.

Wordsmith (author): Lorgar Aurelian.

Lorgar is a preacher, so he will be fascinated by a remembrancer with oratory skills. Or more precisely, someone who can turn words into something beautiful. What thousands of people will re-read or listen to.

Vulkan…no idea really. But let's say Wordsmith, because the word has “smith” :)

[thisisnotthenerd]

ok it's time for some level updates from the latest episode:

fig faeth:

initial level: lore bard 8, hexblade warlock 2

current level: lore bard 9, hexblade warlock 2

gorgug thistlespring:

initial level: berserker barbarian 7, alchemist artificer 3

current level: berserker barbarian 6, alchemist artificer 5

adaine abernant:

initial level: divination wizard 10

current level: divination wizard 11

fabian seacaster:

initial level: battlemaster fighter 6, swords bard 4

current level: battlemaster fighter 6, swords bard 5

kristen applebees:

initial level: twilight cleric 11

current level: twilight cleric 11

riz gukgak:

initial level: arcane trickster rogue 11

current level: arcane trickster rogue 11

not too many big changes, except for gorgug, who's shifted focus to artificer classes, with an alchemy subclass. on the barbarian side, he loses feral instinct, which grants advantage on initiative, but doesn't lose his rages or any of his current subclass features. on the artificer side he gets 2nd level spells, alchemist's supplies proficiency, and buffs in the form of experimental elixirs.

most of these choices are indicative of what the party has been doing in their classes and the fact that they just had a big battle at the mall. we've seen some discussion of fig not wanting to be a bard, of kristen having to do the leg work of being a cleric, so there may be other major changes.

by my calculations, they got enough XP in the mall fight to be just at the cusp of leveling up. literally 5 XP away for each of them, so i'd say they probably get enough from regular class activities to push them over the edge.

other mechanics-wise; this season doesn't seem like it's going to be quite like freshman year in terms of how the bad kids leveled up; they have more to do in school, as well as specific social responsibilities that prevent them from just going around town and popping off. battles are likely to be much more complicated, instead of pure hit point sinks. not that they were in the first place, but they're dealing with a lot more. they also have a lot more downtime, much like in the unsleeping city chapter ii, but they are making a bunch more rolls for what they're doing with that downtime in order to simulate the stress of the scenario.

so, i think it's going to be a major progression season, but they're only going from level 10 to ~level 13-14. they may do something like tucii and go from 10-12. we've already seen the night yorb battle and synod battle; we have yet to see the thistlespring tree (folk festival), the ship (probably fabian's house, as referenced by the cloud engine thing), or the graveyard (cravencroft, just outside of mordred manor).

i have a feeling that the stress tokens are going to be like an elevated version of what brennan did with the red tokens from neverafter; the more stress they take on from letting things slip, the harder it is for them to be emotionally stable and contain the rage of existence in junior year. maybe something that can be used to inflict disadvantage on wisdom checks for the rage stars?

anyway, that's all for this update!

[blackjackkent]

Working through Rakha's playthrough has had me thinking a lot about the Dark Urge as it relates to the other companion backgrounds.

Initially I was sort of surprised that everyone seems so fundamentally chill about learning that Durge has these dark compulsions, murder urges, bloodlust, etc. But the more I've thought about it and written about it, the more I've seen Rakha finding points of connection and points to relate to pretty much everyone she's traveling with.

I feel like I'm probably not the first person to comment on this, but nevertheless...

Karlach, good-natured as she is, becomes a violent juggernaut when she goes into a rage - not just a barbarian mechanic thing, as we see when she hulks out and tears apart the tollhouse after Anders' death. She's not completely out of control, but it's also not dissimilar from Durge going off the rails.

Astarion is driven by a lust for blood that is entirely disconnected from him as himself; he can struggle to resist it or channel it into productive avenues but it never leaves him entirely.

Shadowheart serves a power of darkness and is tormented by it even as she forms her identity around it. Based on her dialogue in the cutscene and after, there's reason to believe she doesn't really want to kill Lae'zel when she puts a knife to her throat - but she's driven by Shar, a dark force outside herself, to go to these extremes of violence even if she doesn't want to.

Wyll has lost control of his own life completely and left behind everything that he knew when Mizora took control of him. Like Durge, he has the choice to take the powers afforded him and use them in a positive direction, but he is not in control of them, and like Durge, he is cut off from everything he used to be and has had to build a new identity from scratch.

Lae'zel, similarly, is isolated from any familiar points of reference and making her way through a world that often makes no sense. She also is steeped in violence; from the beginning, she describes Durge's bloodlust as completely understandable and is only concerned about it being directed towards the right enemies.

Gale carries the force of the orb inside himself, another dark force that is beyond his control and nevertheless has the capacity to use his body for terrible destructive potential.

Halsin struggles with his more bestial nature and the tendency of the bear form to take him over in moments of excitement - and in that form he has little control over his body's violence. "I may not be able to help but to kill goblins."

I've heard that the game's design was originally centered around Durge, and the option for Tav was a later addition. I do wonder if these companion backstories, dissimilar as they seem at first glance, were deliberately constructed to all reflect aspects of the same struggle Durge is undergoing, from different angles and at different levels of severity.

Or I could be reading way too much into it, of course. :P But that can be fun too.

[syoddeye]

You convince the 141 to play Dungeons and Dragons.

Disclaimer: This is clearly for shits and giggles. I've GM'd for a few years now, and I had to combine my first love, DnD, and my current obsession, COD. I stuck to Basic Rules content.

Somehow, you've convinced the 141 to play Dungeons and Dragons with you. You reason there's enough downtime for a decent campaign, and it might be nice to have another outlet that isn't exercise-based. After all, DnD is a collaborative and creative game - good for the ol' brain, right?

Kyle bought the Player's Handbook, printed extra character sheets, and picked up a set of dice. He's read the handbook, planned for the first three levels of his character, and has a backstory with all the important bits highlighted. He's easily the most prepared. The most excited, too, though he's a little sheepish about it. His first character is classic and highly strategic: Half-Elf Draconic Bloodline Sorcerer, with plans to multiclass into Paladin, Oath of Devotion.

Soap is equally excited as Kyle - for different reasons. He went a little nuts at the local game shop. Does he need more than one set of dice at this point? No. Does he have three, just in case? Yes. He also bought a miniature that corresponds with his character. He was torn about his character for weeks but ultimately chose a reliable build: Mountain Dwarf Barbarian, Path of the Totem Warrior.

John is skeptical. This isn't really his thing, but he'll entertain it and give it a go for you. Doesn't stop him from grumbling about it every time you ask how character creation is going, if he has any ideas about what class he wants to try, what kind of character he can see himself playing...Makes it a sweet surprise when he turns up with a used copy of the handbook, several pages dog-eared, and a bullet-point list of his character's background. His character surprises you too: Dragonborn Tempest Cleric, with plans to multiclass into a Battle Master Fighter.

Ghost shows little interest, but John convinces him to attend Session Zero at least. And, like John, getting information from him is like pulling teeth. One night, while up to use the restroom, you actually catch Ghost hunched over a player's handbook. If you didn't know any better, he's a little embarrassed to be seen  'studying'. When you turn to leave him alone, though, he pipes up - he's got questions. At Session Zero, he wordlessly presents the character you helped him with: Variant Human Rogue, Arcane Trickster. He might take a level or two in Warlock if he keeps playing. (He does.)

[niphredil-14]

So I see that your request is open? Sign me in!

If you don't mind, this’ll be a platonic request of Leo + reader where they're pretty much each other's ride or die. April introduced reader to the turtles and somehow reader and Leo are already throwing one-liners and jokes back-to-back. Congratulations, there's two now. They're each other's besties and homies, when one causes trouble you know the other is around the corner to bail them out. Not afraid to talk about their deepest feelings when they're just reading Jupiter Jim comics while wearing matching unicorn onesies.

I love close relationships where it's not romantic but pretty much platonic, makes me comfy-

I totally get what you mean about platonic fanfics/relationships, not everything needs to be romantic or sexual! Everything in moderation. Also, sorry it took so long to respond, I was just turning this idea around in my head for a while. I wasn't sure if you wanted eveyone's reaction, or just Leo's, so I just went with Leo's but let me know if you want the others too.

Leonardo:

Safe to say, Leo would be the happiest with your addition to the team. Has on multiple times told April that he owes her his life for introducing you to them all. It doesn't matter whether or not you've ever even heard of Jupiter Jim, by the time Leo's done with you, you're going to be a megafan too. Or, at the very least, know everything about the series. If he's feeling generous he might agree to take turns choosing a series to binge. But that's only if he's feeling very generous. I love the idea of Leo having "tea-time" with his best friend, where you and he (and sometimes April and/or Cassandra) will sit around and talk shit. Tea-time usually lasts a minimum of three hours. I hear your unicorn onesies, and I raise you, you wearing a turtle onesie, he probably bought it for you so that you could "match" and it would be super cute. If the two of you do wear unicorn onesies, they either both have to be blue, or at the very least (he really wants to match) his has to be blue. He fully expects you to take his side ANY time he's in any level of a disagreement, regardless of if he's right or not. If Raph is on his case about how Leo leads, he needs you to be standing behind him with your arms crossed and nodding along to anything that he says. If Mikey is accusing him of a harmless prank (it was likely NOT harmless), then he needs you to be ready to defend him from his barbarian of little brother. Sleepovers are mandatory with Leo, and often consist of all the stereotypical sleepover activities, movies, pillow fights, witchcraft, makeup, horrendous food combos, the usual. I feel like at the sleepovers is when/where you two would drop lore, just fully trauma dump, have a good cry, and then just move on to the next activity. Leo would be so good at comforting, though he will call your mom a cunt for not getting you that ridiculously priced doll when your were eight, and then he would just wrap you up in one of the best hugs ever. You'd better do the same for him!! Overall, I think Leo would just be so excited to have someone around that's so much like him!

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

[formosusiniquis]

diana prince and stevie h.: variations on a theme

Inspired by this post by @secondconcussion cause I saw it earlier this week and couldn't stop turning it around in my mind

also on ao3 for easier reading

It's not Eddie's fault he got lost.

That's the first thing he wants to get out of the way. He'll take his lumps if he has to, Uncle Wayne can be a surly fucker when he's woken up before his alarm, "Not all those who wander are lost, Ed, isn't that what you said. Just wander your way back home." But Eddie's heart is gonna wait to be warmed that Wayne loves him enough to quote Lord of the Rings until after he's back in the part of Hawkins he recognizes.

"It's the ‘not all’ that I need you to wrap your head around old man, cause I, your dearest nephew, am very lost."

"Your my only nephew, and gettin' less dear by the second," Wayne lied like a liar.

He wasn't above begging, not when he'd already walked fuck knows how far to fuck knows where. "Please, Wayne!"

He hears a grumbled sigh and knows he's won, "Where are ya?"

"Um, woods?" He can hear the thunk of the phone being slammed against something hard, but at least Wayne doesn't hang up.

Hawkins is a small town, by Eddie's standards, but it expands in strange ways. Every summer he spent with Wayne it seemed to unfurl in different directions, a flower blooming a little different each year. It was not the gridded out cityscape he'd grown up in.

So when Eddie came down from Indy every summer to escape parents who managed to toe the line of awful just well enough that CPS kept their noses out of the Munson’s business, he would wander but never far. Just far enough to find the park and the playground that Wayne hadn't thought to mention. Far enough to find a corner store where he can pocket the extra candy bar he couldn't afford with the spare change he had -- and he wasn't going to put back the magazine he was buying, Wayne had nothing good to read and he couldn't make a library card yet. Far enough to find an abandoned picnic bench to smoke up at so his borrowed bedroom didn't smell like weed. Far enough to make some friends.

Only now that he's twenty, and some change. Now that he's graduated high school, third time lucky. Now that he’s decided to leave the trouble he could feel stirring in the city for someplace that always felt more like home. Now that he is an official Hawkins resident, he's wandered a little too far.

And it's not his fault, but he's not gonna tell Wayne that.

Cause the thing is, Eddie has always thought better when his feet were moving. After an hour of pacing around his trailer, still full with half unpacked boxes of things he hadn't realized he'd collected -- boxes that make him feel like a caged animal, that he'll be living out of for the next two months at least -- he has to leave. His first mistake, trusting that his feet will lead him around the parts of Hawkins he knows.

His mind twists plot hooks and campaign NPCs around his head, determined to get ready for when his friends come around later that afternoon with the pack of freshmen, now sophomores, that they'd adopted. He won't apologize for wanting to impress a new group of kids and wanting to convince Jeff he wouldn’t be sorry about passing off his DM mantle to a guy they used to only see two months out of the year. As he's thinking about a sect of female warriors -- a mix of barbarians and rangers, buff and leveled way above where the party will be -- and whether it'll just come across as horny the way the DILF-y elven mages he'd tried to include last year did, he sees her. Notices her, more like; a nymph, a dryad, a goddess sprung fully formed from his imaginings.

She crosses his path at a light jog. The shortest green athletic shorts he's ever seen clinging to the shape of an ass he could bounce a quarter off of. He can see the way her broad and muscled shoulders shift beneath the white sports bra she's wearing. It's the cool down portion of her workout, he guesses, from the way he can mostly maintain the small distance between them and the way sweat runs in rivulets down her back and trim waist. He wants to lick it off of her. She looks like she was built to fire a bow or break him in half, a Kinsey Five, it's the women who could kill him that always capture his attention.

He trails behind her, mind still turning over his session prep for the day and maybe thinking a little bit about whether she had a boyfriend. Hindsight will grant him that it's weird, the way he trailed behind her like a stray dog like this. But then, as he's sitting in the cab of Wayne's truck, he'll remember the way her thick, muscled thighs moved, how she bounced on the balls of her toes. He'll remember the way her ponytail swished over her shoulder as she glanced back at him, his first look at the lady's fair face, the way she'd smirked at him before bounding off of the roadside into the woods.

So totally not his fault he got lost. It probably happens all the time. The payphone on the opposite side of the road for sorry suckers like him who fall into her snare. Shit, maybe he should have stayed put, he hadn’t been thinking about why she might have a snare.

Wayne found him eventually, even if he spent the drive back to Forest Hills muttering about how Eddie had even found his way over to that side of town. How next time he aimed to get lost he should bring a map or a compass or a dog, and find his own way back. So he doesn’t ask his uncle about the mystery girl that could snap him over her knee like a dry twig, cause in the mood he’s in right now Wayne might go find her and embarrass the hell out of him.

Later, when Jeff and Gareth and Joey have piled onto the broken in couch that Wayne had given him. When the first teen that he doesn’t know knocks a little too quietly on his door, but grins wide enough to split his face that they’ve got a new campaign and a place to play over the summer. When they’re waiting for the last one to arrive, Eddie thinks about asking about her. She had to have overlapped with them in high school for at least a year or two.

Eddie knows already though that he won’t. Plus there’s a chance they’ll tell him anyway. He’s been on the receiving end of enough ‘Is that supposed to be Ronnie James Dio’s’ and ‘Wait are you describing Sigourney Weaver’s’ to hope that once he starts describing the Amazonian warrior who will hopefully be haunting his dreams he’ll get a ‘Doesn’t that sound just like…’

And yeah, maybe he’s starting to get a little impatient. But with the way he’s got the campaign laid out it will be at least two hours in before he gets a chance to describe her. At least, and he has to know who she is tonight.

“Dude,” Gareth starts, probably sick of the way Eddie’s bouncing his leg, “where’s Dustin?”

Will, the quietest so far of the new recruits looks almost too concerned, “He knows where it is right? Has anyone-”

Sinclair, he thinks the group arrived in mass and he’s not sure he’s partnered faces with the rush of names correctly just yet, pulls a walkie talkie with bells and whistles he didn’t even know you could attach from a backpack on the floor. “Dustin, come in, what’s your ETA?”

The tension in their corner of the room ratchets up enough to have Eddie’s palms start to sweat. Will brings his thumbnail up to his mouth, worrying it enough that it’s sure to start bleeding soon. “I’m sure it’s-” Sinclair starts to say, interrupted by a clattering outside then a bang to his door that yanks on the frayed edges of Eddie’s nerves.

He feels a little like a squirrel trying to cross a highway, the way the babies about to join the party are watching him with the knowing terror you watch something about to die.

Except the thing at his door is not Jason or Freddy, it’s a half-pint with a white hat pulled low over his head. The missing Dustin, who has no problem bullying his way through Eddie’s now open door.

“Ew, dude, why are you sweaty?”

"Because, Michael, I had to bike all the way across town." Eddie, and it looks like half the group, is about to ask some variation on why when Dustin holds up a hand shutting them all up masterfully "Because," he stresses each letter like they're what's wronged him, "five minutes before we were supposed to leave mom catches Stevie gossiping with Robin and she totally flips out about how she didn't take Stevie in just to watch her get herself killed. And then when I asked who was taking me here, Ma said she 'didn't buy me that bike just to have it sit in the garage!'"

The kid is incensed so it doesn't feel like the time to ask what the fuck is going on. Not when everyone else snorts and snickers at Dustin's expense. "Damn Stevie really fucked up if Dustybun got sent out on his own," Gareth jeers.

"Your mom does know what Stevie keeps in her trunk right? And she ruptured Preston's balls when he grabbed her ass last year," Lucas points out.

Hawkins, Eddie is learning, might just be full of girls to fall in love with.

"Stop saying that like it's hot, that's my sister you're talking about. I'll tell Max."

"Max still thinks Stevie's hot, dude."

"Are we gonna have to walk home just because Stevie's done something stupid again?" Mike complains.

"You didn't care about Stevie doing something dumb when she climbed that tree in heels to get you down after you got drunk at winter formal. Or when she took her bat to those… things." Lucas shares a sly grin with Will, who looks torn between feeling awkward at the inclusion and the teenage bloodlust for giving your friends a hard time. "You can just admit you feel weird about having the same taste as your-"

"Oh my god!" Dustin shouts cutting Lucas off and sending the room, Eddie included into a burst of snorting laughter. "Dustin Henderson," Eddie gets himself under control enough to accept the offered hand, "excited to have a DM who isn't a total asshole."

"Eddie, sorry about your hot sister. Not sorry for being a new kind of asshole Dungeon Master. Let’s see them character sheets, kiddies, this ain’t your mommy’s book club, we aren’t just here to gossip.”

Things go off pretty well, for a seven person table where he barely knows half the players. Lucas has an impressive tactical mind, Mike is a passionate role player, Will has a character built so well it’s basically an art form, and Dustin is a wild card who can’t decide whether he wants to win or to walk into the obvious trap just to see what will happen. It’s not hard to adjust, even if the way Jeff keeps looking at him when he describes new NPC's is throwing him off his game a little bit. He can duck behind his DM screen and recollect himself, but seriously what the fuck.

“She stands taller than the tallest of you, bronzed skin and hair, imperious, she looks at you, Sir Jeffrey, and offers you a deal, ‘Best our strongest warrior and you can take him back with you. Fail and his impunity will be punished by death.’” He lets the threat hang heavy in the air, all eyes on him and desperately hanging on to every word. Minus Jeff who was giving him that look again. “And that’s where we’ll end things this week, boys.” Cause he really, really hadn’t expected any of them to just straight up steal the enchanted bow of the Amazons that they needed to fell the dragon; and he really, really hadn’t planned for the botched stealth rolls.

Everyone grumbles as they pack up their things, it’s music to his ears. A four hour session -- if he didn’t count the hour they riffed about character builds and backstory once Eddie had his hands on their sheets -- and they’re still itching for more. It’s almost enough to have him just call a dinner break, so he can hole up in his room and churn something out. But someone is beating out shave and a haircut on his front door before he can change his mind.

“It’s probably Wayne getting revenge,” Eddie says, “woke him up early this afternoon.” He taps back his two bits, swinging open the door, expecting to see Wayne’s smug looking face grinning back at him. He’ll take his ‘Don’t feel too good getting interrupted in the middle a something, does it?’ with grace.

Only instead of an old man with two days of scruff, the door opens on his modern day Aphrodite. A worn, grey athletic shirt bragging about being a 1985 Hawkins Swim Team Region Champ has covered the white sports bra, cropped it shows off a distracting sliver of toned stomach above a short green tennis skirt, and her perky ponytail is down in loose waves around a mole kissed face.

And he’s gaping like a fucking idiot at her.

“Dust, wanna introduce me to your new friend?” she asks, voice bourbon smooth as molten eyes rake down his body from the doorway.

“Eddie, this is my sister.”

Like her brother before her, Stevie has no problem shouldering her way through the door. Where Dustin had slipped through on a size difference technicality like a halfling, she places a warm hand against his shoulder and gently pushes until his feet and brain get it together enough to move with her. Even then they’re still screaming, god he’s positive she could have just picked him up. He really wants her to pick him up, maybe push him against the wall a little.

“Hi Eddie,” she says. Still in the doorway they’re hedged in by boxes marked ‘Kitchen Shit’ and ‘Unpack this first asshole’ breathing the same air almost, all because Eddie in his genius had dropped the last load of stuff from the back of the van right by the door. “Are we going to be seeing more of you around?”

“Obviously,” Dustin cuts in, “we only just finished the start of a totally epic campaign.”

“Obviously,” Stevie repeats, with a mocking tilt to her gorgeous smile. One he recognizes from this morning.

Jeff is still watching him, a set of eyes boring hard into the side of his face. “Eddie just moved to Hawkins, just spent summers here before.”

Something about that softens her. Her expression, her posture, easing into something a little less coiled to pounce but no less flirtatious. “To Hawkins?”

Shit, and she’s looking at him like he’s an idiot; but like a cute idiot that she’ll maybe want to put down on his knees. “Well the best band I ever played with is still in high school here, and a success story always sounds better coming out of a small town.”

“You’re in a band, huh?”

Dustin wrestles himself in the middle again, and it says a lot about his tenacity that he’s managed to rock Stevie back against the cardboard. “Whatever this is, I don’t like it and it needs to stop.”

“Load your bike up in the trunk then, shithead, and you won’t have to see it,” she fires back. He does push past her out the door, trying to let it slam shut behind him when she catches it in lightning fast reflex, “Scratch the paint cause you’re being a dick and your ass is grass!”

The rest of the sophomores are slow to pack up their remaining things, valuing gossip more than trying to comfort their friend on losing another soldier in the war of ‘thinks his big sister is the babest babe to ever hit Hawkins.’ 

“You should come to practice some time, band practice, for the um band."

Somebody behind him snorts, hears a whispered, "For the um band," that's probably meant to be a mimicry of him.

"Eddie's lead guitar," Jeff says, from a place of true friendship or pity. It's hard to tell.

Her eyes light up with a mischief, hair swinging as she cocks her head, and he can hear the requisite, ‘wow you must be so good with your hands,’ as clearly as if she had said it. Instead she says, “Gremlins, go get in the car. Tell Dustin, Ma’s pissed he didn't take his helmet and he should know first hand the dangers of head trauma.” It’s an inside joke, an unfunny one, from the way she grins as they grumble and groan and tell her to fuck off. Trooping out the door between him and Stevie they each let her pat them on the back or ruffle their hair, a little attendance check on the way to the car.

The trailer door shuts behind them with a slam, maybe not an attitude issue then and something to add to his to do list, but Stevie hasn’t left with them. “If you’re interested in what Hawkins has to offer, I could show you around.” She says casually. Conversationally. A comment for the room at large before she leans into Eddie’s space, warm breath against the side of his face making him shiver as she whispers, “I take the same run through town every day, and I always wanted a puppy to follow me home.”

Eddie is lost. In visions of the girl who just twirled out of his place on her heel after completely rocking his world. Has lost. His mind, his heart, and hopefully his status as single. But there are worse things he can think of than being lost in Hawkins.

[knightmareaceblue]

I had an idea for an animation vs. DnD type thing. Don't know if I'm going to do anything with it, but I liked the concept and characters I came up with for it, so I decided to draw them.

Some notes:

-TSC is the DM, and thus doesn't have a character. Green's character Limerick, however, has a twin sister in his backstory, so with Green's permission Second designed her to look like them. It looks like the two have matching headbands, but actually Limerick is just wearing Melody's. :(

-As a DM, Second is very good at weaving together a world and story, and successfully ties everyone's backstories in with the main plot. They are also, however, a bit controlling and easily annoyed. Red and Purple often get things thrown at them by Second for going too off track or just being plain stupid.

-Blue's character Azure (neutral good) is technically the party leader, having been the one to gather the party and issue the main quest. They are not, however, very good at keeping the party on track. Especially Spark and Amethyst.

-Limerick is a true neutral bard that got double classed as a fighter when the sticks realized they didn't have a lot of physical fighters in their party. He's also the most stand-offish member of the group.

-Yellow's character Spark was originally going to be a chaotic evil character, but some pouting and pleading from Red and Blue caused them to relent and change to chaotic neutral. They were a little annoyed about this, but whatever.

-All of the characters' backstories take a little influence from their actual lives. Red's druid/ranger Carmine (chaotic good), however, is the one where it's most obvious, having spent much of their childhood being possessed by a forest god before breaking free, fighting them, and then the two coming to a truce and the forest god training Carmine in the art of the druid. It may look like he's wearing fur pants, but they're actually made of leaves.

-When being handed a character sheet for a rouge, Purple demanded to know why everyone assumed they'd pick that class. Red, who had been sent to get them, responded, "Well, what else would you be?" Purple couldn't respond and just huffily filled out the character sheet. Their character Amethyst is a chaotic neutral.

-MT was a last minute edition to the game, having been guilt-tripped/emotionally manipulated by Purple into joining. His barbarian Bronze seems like a chaotic neutral, but they're actually lawful neutral: They just follow barbarian law instead of the law of the country. TSC is the only one aware of this, and silently finds it hilarious.

Some Shenanigans:

-Each party member has their own motive to join Azure's quest to save the world: Bronze because of honour and also this kid's stupid and will get themselves killed if they let them go alone, Carmine because the world-ending quest has put the forest and the forest god in danger and he wants to save them, Amethyst for the promise of safety and security afterwords, Spark because research for her magical weapons, and Limerick because Azure agreed to help him with a personal matter in exchange.

-Limerick originally didn't start out with a cape. Upon realizing every other character had a cape however (Yellow tried to argue that Spark's poncho thing didn't count, but Green said it counted in spirit), they decided Limerick had to have one too. TSC said that since character creation is over, they'd have to buy a cape at the nearby town. This caused Green to get annoyed and reject every cape they 'found' in the shops. It went on like this for a while until TSC got bored and turned it into an insane side quest, complete with a vampire mafia. Limerick staked the boss vampire and stole their cape.

-Bronze is a hunter; Carmine is a vegan. They get into quite a few arguments because of this and more than once Carmine would sabotage Bronze's hunts and get them into trouble with whatever the highest level monster in the area was. Consequentially, Bronze is a little better at stealth than your average barbarian.

-Purple has a bad habit of taking inter-party conflict too personally, and at some points gets legitimately upset. They repeated have to be reminded that it's just a game, and occasionally Second will call timeout for them to cool off.

-Every weapon except Limerick's lute has a magical gem on it to enhance it's abilities. Spark has stolen the gem off every weapon except Amethyst's Golden Moon Dagger (which they can never pass the check to steal) at least once for their magical experiments.

-The most loyal, trustworthy, and responsible member of the party is Bronze. Everyone but Purple finds this surprising. The second most is Azure, but they're incredibly naive and keep getting the party into trouble by trying to help people.

-Yellow wants their character to betray the party at some point, and then have a redemption arc. Second is the only one who knows about this, and they're all for it.

-Green is convinced the campaign will have a happy ending, because 'Sec is a sucker.' He isn't wrong.

[islandoforder]

My thing re: Porter was only that he wasn't praising Fig for what he disapproved of with Gorgug. Like, Fig was doing things differently than Gorgug was, and it didn't have anything to do with protecting one's friends or anything like that, it was a matter of embracing fury in order to do so. He's still not a great teacher, though I do think Zac meant "I go into a worry" to be a flaw and that he wasn't looking for someone to just say "that's valid".

brace for a reply that's at least twice as long as intended haha

okay i think we do actually agree on more than we don't - i do think that 'i go into a worry' is a sign of gorgug not being raised to be comfortable with negative emotions, and the ramifications of that (love the thistlesprings, no hate to them, but their hardwon earnest positivity is probably a lot harder to recognise and appreciate as a teenager who has literally the weight of the world on his shoulders a bunch).

the point i was trying to make was about this exchange from porter to gorgug: "Most of what I see from you in class is, your rage is a place that you go to to put your body on the line for your friends. It's very selfless, very noble. Do I see you actually capable of wielding the destructive power of rage, when the chips are really down?"

to me, this reads as porter saying that his rage stemming from his protection of his friends, that selflessness, that loyalty, is not a good enough motivation, that his rage HAS to be destructive to be valued in porter's eyes, even though he has literally established in this conversation that gorgug is v good at the basic tenets of being a barbarian. he's not saying that gorgug isn't using his rage at all, he's explicitly saying that it's not the right flavour of rage for him. this exchange bugs me so much just because his little speech to fig about her paladin powers being inspired by her friends is very explicitly praising the exact same type of selfless nobility and loyalty. it feels even more hypocritical as this is the same convo with gorgug where he says he feels "heartbroken" and the same convo with fig where he says lucilla was too emotionally involved in fig's decisions in an inappropriate way.

i think it's also a bit tricky bc since emily has decided to engage with/agree with porter (and possibly with bts convos with zac there's no way to tell) brennan has (rightfully!) pivoted. it's a good move as a dm of a campaign to react to your players and how they interact with your npcs, but it does lead to a sort of retconning over the points porter was initially making. like on a mechanics of roleplaying level i get it, but if we just look at the character, it makes him inconsistent and hypocritical more than anything.

it's also hard to know where exactly i'm bringing my own feelings about teaching into it, but in this specific scenario, where gorgug is struggling to articulate his rage and negative emotions, i think not only is porter's behaviour to gorgug not helpful but is actively unhelpful, let alone how he acts with and what he says to fig, knowing they're close friends and gorgug will inevitably hear these double standards. i know it worked in the show, but i think that's bc the players chose to have it work, rather than it being a good or healthy method for a teacher to take. i've honestly got other issues with him too, but not on the point you were making so i'm not gonna keep ranting haha

[dullgecko]

I'm back again with my chronic illness agenda :)

After most battles, half of the Bad Kids are usually out of commission for a bit until they are able to rest, regardless of how bad the fight actually was. Adaine usually crashes first, with migraines from all of the divination magic. Riz is notorious for pushing too far which causes the chronic pain in his hands to flare up, but it normally takes a few more minutes for it to really hit him. Gorgug usually keeps going long enough to make sure everything is wrapped up and everyone else is home safe, and then crashes really badly.

It wasn't until the night yorb trip that anyone else even knew about how much Gorgug crashed after fights. It wasn't that he was trying to hide it, he just genuinely thought it was normal for complete exhaustion to knock him out for hours/days after raging during a fight (the purple worm during the last stand had a lot to answer for in terms of the week long flare up that followed that particular fight).

He figured that raging took a lot of energy, and the halved damage had to go somewhere, so why wouldn't it end up in a level or two of exhaustion. (He wasn't technically wrong - first generation half-orcs were more prone to chronic fatigue and pain conditions, but that didn't mean it was normal).

They found out the hard way that using a greater restoration to remove that exhaustion was only a temporary fix, and the fatigue just came back twice as bad.

The second fight they got into during the Night Yorb quest was when they finally noticed. Their barbarian had been so thoroughly wiped out by the fight that he couldnt string two sentences together let alone operate a vehicle.

Gorgug was their designated driver, Fig was out of commission (she'd been hit by SOMETHING during the fight that had left her blinded) and NO ONE was going to let Fabian or Kristen near the wheel of the van. Adaine they might have trusted to drive but she was trying VERY hard not to throw up from the migraine that had come on after the fight.

They had to get all of them to the nearest town for an antidote for Fig (Kristens magic couldnt shift it but the locals apparently had a remedy) and with Gorgug too tired to drive it had fallen to the only other person they could trust behind the wheel.... and also the only person who couldnt see over the dashboard AND operate pedals at the same time.

While Gorgug tried to sleep off some of the exhaustion the rest of his party had done... surprisingly well. Yes the thought of their rogue using an elaborate array of mirrors, mage hand and nearly all of his strength to push down pedals was TERRIFYING if you thought about it too hard but he was actually really good at it. Riz may have looked like he'd run a marathon by the end of it with all the exertion but hey, he didn't crash or go in the wrong direction or have a panic attack and the van got to the town in one piece so he was doing better than the rest of his party in their attempts to drive.

Gorgug they'd woken up long enough for him to go inside and crash in an ACTUAL bed once they found an Inn. Kristen had taken Fig away to get her sight restored and Adaine had gone to take a very hot bath to try and ease her migraine.

Fabian had been left to pay for their rooms which he was happy to do because he felt rather useless at the moment with everyone else doing things. He did manage to find a job for himself though, when he returned to their rooms and caught Riz soaking his hands in a bowl of nearly scalding hot water in an attempt to ease some of the pain from overuse both during the fight and driving. The entire party had gotten very good at hand massages and Riz had almost fallen asleep while getting one by the time Kristen and Fig got back.

[lulu-tutu]

Hi, I really enjoy your work and was wondering if you could write some Rise!Donnie x GN!reader gaming headcannons.

Gaming 💕 Rise!Donatello

A/N: Thank you so much, this was fun to write and I hope you enjoy :)

Pairing(s): Rise!Donatello x GN!Reader

Warning(s): don't think there's any?

Proof read :)

----------

Donnie is insanely good at gaming, so if you weren't as confident as him, just know that he'll lead the both of you to victory.

You actually ran into him one time when you were playing some game online before you knew he played almost all the time thanks to his insomnia.

You only found out it was him by that ridiculous gamertag of his.

"Bootyyyshaker9000? No way."

The next day when you were down at the lair, you made sure to rub it in his face that you actually beat the famous Bootyyyshaker9000.

"That was you? Well, since you've proudly declared your victory, you're now joining me on my daily mission. Would prefer you on my team then some random noob."

And that's what started everything

You began playing with Donnie more and more until it became a routine, you weren't complaining.

Spending more time with your boyfriend, doing something he enjoys? It's about time.

He got you your own gaming chair and moved around his setup so you'd be more comfortable in his space.

With both of your skills, you became a power couple and brought fear onto those in the virtual world.

Donnie wants to use some hacks?

"Donatello! We are not cheating! You hear me? We're kicking their asses the good old way."

"You're no fun :("

Your sleeping schedule starts to copy his own, which isn't good because this guy gets no sleep at all

"Donnie, please. We can grind some more tomorrow, I'm tired."

"So help me, you are not sleeping until our level is in the triple digits, you hear me? Y/n? Y/n-?" Looks over and sees you passed out in your chair.

Sighs and decides that he could grind later. Gently takes your headset off without waking you up, picks you up with his hands under your knees and back and takes you to his room where he snuggles you up in his blankets and slides into bed with you.

When you're not in the mood to game you bring him plenty of energy drinks and snacks while also keeping him company.

Sometimes you two pull all nighters and his brothers chide Donnie for bringing you into his bad habits.

"It's like there's another Donatello running around! One is enough! One is enough!"

"Leon, one is never enough."

Both of you raging when the game is too difficult or there are just those guys that enjoy spawn killing you

"You kill me one more time, one more time, and I'll track down your address and send you a clown."

"Y/n, I need you to send them Hawaiian pizza too."

"Not everyone hates Hawaiian pizza, D."

"Well they should. Barbarians."

He actually really enjoys gaming with you though

You two somehow just get closer during your gaming sessions, you learn more about each other than you have even while dating

Sometimes he thinks you'd get bored of it after a while and will hesitate to ask you if you wanted to join him

"Hey, Y/n? So, there's a championship happening and, you know, if you have the time, I wanted to know if you wanted to join?"

"There's a championship? Shell yeah, D! Let me get my snacks, I'll be right there!"

You two have so much fun, and your love for each other and gaming has definitely grown.