#also hate like inviting people to things especially my birthday so added stress is making me :$

[loverboybitch]

does anyone want to hear about a dumb problem im having?.//.

[acciocriativity]

You and Me II || Harry Potter

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Slytherin/Reader

Summary: After years at Hogwarts, your life would really begin and nothing could be better than to start this new phase with your official birthday party, but the next day does not turn out quite as expected.

Warnings: For those who haven't read the first part yet, Tom Riddle is not Voldemort in this fic. The first wizard war was against another wizard but its consequences are still valid! Just pure fluff and an implied bit of smut.

Word Count: 3,0k

A/N: This is obviously the part two of You and Me, but it’s not necessarily related, so you can just read this one as a one shot but the first part gives you a lot of context for this, ok? ok then. (Happy really early Birthday Katie! I'd like to post this on your bday but I was too anxious for this. Hope you like it!)

Part I

04/27/1997

"You're really not well, how can a person be in this state when their birthday is so close? I've tried to understand and still can't", the brunette's bored voice made itself present in the room for the 4th time in the day and as I prepared my answer, she held up her hand and delivered her own hypothesis first. "You can't be sad that we're finishing seventh year, I swear for Merlin's sake, if that's the case, I'll...", the words slipped slowly from her mouth, as did the calmness remaining in her.  

"Even though anything you have to say sounds like a lot of fun, it's not the case. I really want to start my own life, have my own job and all that. I'm just thinking a lot lately, too many things have happened, we've all changed so much", I didn't bother to look at her, still focused on the ceiling painted like a blue summer sky and she didn't mind asking permission to lie next to me on the bed. 

"We had to grow up eventually, although some took too long, in fact, I can point out for sure that half the boys still act like kids", we both laughed until our bellies ached.

"Well, good for us then because Draco and Blaise are not on that list and don't even dare look at me like that, you know he's changed a lot", I heard her amused giggles and already imagined what was coming. 

"I wasn't even going to say anything this time, it's really impressive how you just stick up for him, I hope it's the same with me", I frowned and looked at her as if she was out of her mind, and there were chances she really was. "Since when do you need protection from someone?". 

"I never said I needed it, but it's nice to know I have it", she shrugged without looking me in the eye and I decided it would be better to change the subject, because nothing good ever comes out of a Pansy, who is unseasy in any sense. 

"So, about your...," she started. "Pansy, what do you…”, I said at the same time, but I just smiled and waited in silence for what she had to say. 

"I was going to ask about your parents, you're going to have to live with them in a month, so how are you feeling about that?", she just glanced at me. 

"That's been going through my mind, I have no idea what it's going to be like but it's going to be better than anything that's happened in the past, that's enough for now", I sighed. 

"You know you can come to my house, right? You can hide there", I agreed with a smile and we continued in a comfortable silence. 

04/29/1997

7:30 A.M.

 On the morning of my birthday, I woke up in the best possible way. The warmth emanating from Draco's body and the thick blanket kept me unfazed by the freezing wind coming in through the window. I didn't want to move and I didn't need to. 

I sighed satisfied with the position I was in, curled up under the blanket hugging the blond's bare torso, with no responsibility or obligation other than to enjoy my day. 

"Morning, love", his arms pressed me tighter against him, I could feel his calm breathing and somehow, I felt calmer too.

I left a few kisses on his bare skin and the goosebumps they caused on him made me break out into a little smile. "Good morning, love", I whispered leaning back against him.  

"Come here, let me give you a proper happy birthday", he gave my hair a quick pat and lifted my chin to look at him. 

 As soon as I crawled closer to him, his arms entwined around my waist and pulled me even closer. 

"Happy birthday my love", he left several little kisses on my face and neck before moving to my lips, but our moment was interrupted by a noise on the window.

 A gray owl incessantly beat its beak on the window pane, we looked at each other, neither of us wanted to get up, but it would be too cruel to leave the poor thing waiting there. 

"It's my birthday, I have the right to ask you to go", I gave a brief kiss on his lips before letting him go to the war field. 

 I stayed warm while he opened the window further so that the owl could get through, as well as the icy wind. 

He rushed back to my side in time to see me tear the seal off the letter I received. 

"It's from my parents, they are really working hard this year. I have to admit that", I told him as I scanned the paper. 

"At least they realized what a great daughter they have, she's a little mean but still great", I was too busy reading the letter to notice his cunning and more icy than usual hands pass around me.  

 I jumped out of bed as I felt the shock of our skin contact and he had the audacity to laugh, I had to control myself too much not to grab my wand. 

"Draco Lucius Malfoy, you are dead now", I climbed into bed with my pillow, ready to fight. 

20:00 P.M.

 A few hours later, I was getting ready for the party in the Slytherin common room, everyone was invited since after this stressful year, a party would be nice and I couldn't physically kick anyone out. 

I was barely concentrating in my makeup, Nala was running back and forth between my feet wanting attention and I couldn't give it to her or for the next few hours, no matter how much it broke my heart. 

"For Merlin's sake... Nala! Sit!", it saddened me to see that she obeyed but still wanted to come running to me, that deserved a good reward.

 I fed her one of her favorite cookies and petted her shiny fur before going back in front of the mirror. I checked several times to make sure I was ready. 

"See you later my love, mma will be back soon", I waved to her and went downstairs before I gave in. 

 There were already a lot of people when I arrived, the new song by The Weird Sisters was so loud that Pansy didn't hear me, even though I called out 2 times as she passed by on the other side of the room. 

As I made my way through, many friends stopped to congratulate me and also to chat a bit, by the time I realized what I was supposed to do, more than 10 minutes had passed. 

"Have you guys seen Pansy? I was looking for her", I said before turning my own glass of buttered beer over and leaving it in Tom's hand. "See you guys later", my eyes were glued on the blond guy standing in the corner and in less than a second, I was walking towards him. 

"What the hell am I supposed to do with that?!", I heard his indignant voice but ignored it along with all the other people, who tried to talk to me on my way to him. 

"You know, the delay is only elegant because it doesn't last more than 5 minutes", he was smiling even though he hated tardiness. 

"Maybe for most people, a queen is never late love, the others were too early. Especially when it's her birthday", I stopped in front of him. "You haven't given me my present yet, I'm waiting", I pointed to my own lips.  

 He chuckled and looked at me for a few seconds before he said  something, even with the lights flashing I could still see the twinkle in his eyes, which still reflected mine equally. 

"Are you asking this as a gift around too?", his smile widened as did mine, he took a step closer. 

"Does that mean you're not going to give it to me? I had high expectations for this one in particular", something in his gaze changed, I could clearly tell but it was gone as quickly as it appeared. 

"That particular one can wait, right now, I have my main gift", he took his hands off his back and in them was a green velvet median box with silver details. 

 I was almost breathless just admiring the package once it was in my hands. To top it off, a green silk bow and I had the impression that he had made it himself. 

When I opened it, my jaw dropped. A silver necklace with an emerald heart carefully displayed in the box. 

"Draco, you really didn't have to give me something expensive", he didn't answer me, instead took the necklace and helped me put it on. 

"It seemed like an appropriate gift, now that we will no longer be living by Slytherin rules, it’s a nice way to say goodbye", I didn't think twice before I kissed him. 

"I love you, I'll never get tired of saying that", I whispered between kisses. "You won't forget that, right?", I sighed as he brushed his lips across the skin of my neck. 

"I have no reason to forget love, I...", we were interrupted by a forced cough behind me. 

"Why don't you two just go into a room? No one has to see this scene", Blaise's unmistakable voice sounded and I felt my boyfriend giggle, not moving out of position. 

"You can go after your girlfriend instead of getting in our way, wouldn't that be a brilliant idea?", I didn't see what happened, but a nice answer wouldn't be."So where were we honey?", he raised his eyes to meet mine. 

"We better save that for the end of the party love, wasn't that your idea?", I pulled away from him and took his hand. "You have a whole party to enjoy." 

"I already regret that decision, thanks for reminding me", he mumbled that and a few other things I couldn't hear. 

07/01/1997

7:00 A.M.

"I still can't believe this is our last breakfast at Hogwarts", Astoria commented amidst the silence that had formed at our table. 

"I still can't believe it's really over, it seems like any minute now I'm going to wake up and be back in third year", Pansy added. 

"Well, I hope you'll make better decisions if you go back there tonight. No one forgot the hair Pan", my remark made everyone laugh for the first time in the day, a bit of pride grew inside me. 

"Just because Hogwarts is over doesn't mean we're going to split up. None of you have any right to be this down today", Theo said and I was forced to smile as was everyone else. 

"I was glad to be rid of you, at no point I was sad," Blaise muttered but we could all hear him and we all laughed once again. 

8:00 A.M. 

"What are you thinking?" he was with his eyes closed leaning against the train window, but I knew he wasn't asleep. 

"How familiar everything here is, the worn leather of the seat, the smell of candy in the hallway and of trees coming in through the window. Other things will be familiar 7 years from now, it's just weird to think about it," he continued in the same position but held out his hand to me. 

"That's true but I feel better knowing that we will continue to be each other's constant," I intertwined our fingers and we continued like that until we arrived.  

11:00 A.M. 

"It's time for the gifts, we prefer to give you personally. I believe you will like it", my mother said as soon as we sat down on the couch in our living room. 

 I smiled not knowing how to respond, since I usually got the same thing every year, money or more paint, and I was pretty sure they didn't choose in person. 

"Go ahead, open it. We decided to give two separate presents this year, the pink wrapping is mine and the purple one is your father's", the two boxes were right next to me on the couch, so why was I hesitating so much to pick them up? 

 A lot was going on in my head, they have changed a lot in the last year but why? I could be dreaming of the ideal day, but no dream was as vivid as this one.

I took a deep breath and opened the pink first, I expected to find anything but my stuffed bunny, he was washed and clean, different from how I remembered, but still the same. 

"I thought I lost or tore it a long time ago", I managed to say as I hugged him like one who finds an old friend, but he was beyond that. 

"He was really in a rough state, but I was able to fix him. It was in one of the boxes in the basement, remember how you got it?", I agreed again, a wave of memories washed over me. 

My parents had just arrived home from a business trip, it was the first time I had been alone at home without them. 

"Mommy, Daddy!", I ran down the stairs as fast as my little legs would allow and threw myself into my father's arms, not caring about his wet coat, which soon became even wetter. "You promi-promised that you would be back soon”. 

"Oh my love, something unexpected has happened. We were never going to leave you alone for so long," her hands wiped away my tears and took me in her lap. "So, for you never have to be alone again, we brought a little friend, he will always keep you company when we have to leave." 

That wasn't enough to calm me down but it made me curious enough to stop crying, I didn't have any friends before that. 

 I hurried to open the other package but there was only an empty picture frame with no photo inside. 

Before I could open my mouth to ask for an explanation, shapes began to appear from the black background. 

I recognized the picture, me still a baby in my mother's arms and my father behind her, hugging us both but as soon as I blinked, it was gone. 

Another picture formed in its place, I was older, about two or three years old, this one I had never seen. I was on my mother's lap holding a drawing that I had made and possibly looked terrible. 

More pictures appeared and disappeared but I didn't wait to see them all at that moment. 

"I loved these gifts...thank you Mom and Dad," I made a great effort to hold back the tears as I hugged them both. "They are the best presents I have ever gotten." 

23:00 P.M. 

"What are you two doing out there at this time of night?! Draco, have you been drinking now?", Narcisa gave us another stern look before opening the door and shoving us inside. 

 We walked in almost tripping over the living room rug, laughing at each other, to the point where tears formed in our eyes.  

"Shhhhhh, my dad must be working... uhhhhhh, he's not going to like this, u-um," his hand covered my mouth. 

I pushed his hand away from my face. “Me?Shut up? You're practically screaming you idiot!".

 "You two, I don't want another peep out of you. Come up quietly. Your father doesn't like to be interrupted," she whispered, but it was enough for us to agree without hesitation. 

"Yes, Captain, I mean, ma'am," he pulled me up the stairs before her patience ran out. 

07/02/1997

14:00 P.M. 

"What do you mean, you don't remember what happened?", the blond was clearly trying hard not to laugh and I sighed, still under the blanket. 

"I don't remember Draco, did your mother really not hate me? I can't believe we came here...", even though no one was watching me, I started to blush, or was it just the fever? There's no way to be sure now. 

"That could never happen, she made sure to request your favorite tea. Now get out of there before it gets cold", he tried to pull on my blanket but I used all the rest of my strength not to let him.  

"Noooo, out there that's too cold. Come here, it's too cold for you too", I took one of my hands from the comfortable warmth to pull him to me. "You didn't have to get up so early to get this", I whispered but soon after started coughing. 

"There must be a potion to help you, I'll just get it and then...", he was ready to get up from the bed but I didn't let go of his arm. 

"I just want you, please stay here? The elf will bring it anyway", before he could protest, I covered him with the blanket. "You're not well either, let's just lay down for now". 

 He opened his mouth to deny it again but all that came out was a sneeze, after this he just gave up and lied down too. We were both screwed but at least we were together, right? I tried to think positive.

[ @x-dratie-x @fa-me]

Harry Potter Masterlist

[mrsseverussnape]

Love Is You - chapter 28/final

a/n: And we came to the final chapter... I hope you liked the journey with Scarlett. Give her a gift and share your final thoughts about her or the fanfiction❤️🌹🐾

    It has been 7 months since Scarlett and Severus moved into Scarlett’s retirement house in Naxos. Severus has retired after he found out about Scarlett’s illness because he wanted to spend all of his time with Scarlett. Scarlett hasn’t wanted him to do that sacrifice for her but Severus was persistent. When they moved to Naxos in June, first couple of weeks passed with decorating the house; their choice of decoration style was a mix of coastal and Greek. After the decoration was done, Scarlett needed to accomplish her other retirement dream which was buying ducklings! Severus reconciled Scarlett that buying only 2 ducklings is enough. She has wanted more but they ended up buying a yellow one and a Rouen one. Scarlett named the Rouen one “Cookie” since it has dark spots and looked like a chocolate chip cookie, yellow one was Severus’s to name and he named it “Milky” just to go with cookie and milk theme. Luckily, Scarlett’s cat Athena got along with the ducklings and they all became the cutest trio ever.

    Scarlett and Severus had times of their lives during the whole summer in Naxos. They went to swimming, discovered every corner of the island, had long walks and many more; but their favourite activity to do together was sailing with their small boat and reading books middle of the sea. They believed that either island’s weather or those activities helped to ease Scarlett’s illness a bit. She wasn’t having heart aches or pains frequently and she has passed out only couple of times during the summer. She got even better when Carina and Leo came to visit her time to time. Scarlett wanted to spend rest of the year in Naxos too, they went to London for 2 weeks in September for Scarlett’s yearly check-up and to visit her parents and Carina since she was took Severus’s job after him. When they came back to the island, it was calmer than before since the summer season has ended and all the tourists were back at their countries. They liked it better that way and enjoyed the silence of the island. Everything was going good and well until November arrived. Like how trees lose their leaves in fall, Scarlett started to lose her health. Now she was waking up nauseous every morning and the moment she got off the bed dizziness was adding to it as a plus, some days she wasn’t able to eat anything whole day because of that. In addition to this her blackouts became more frequently, and she would faint regularly. Somedays Scarlett would be in such a bad mood and cry her eyes out until she fell asleep. These days were the worst ones for Severus, he would try his best to calm her down and ease her pain but after Scarlett fell asleep, Severus would go by the sea and cry there all by himself.

    Last week of November, Scarlett insisted to invite her children, her parents and Sirius to Naxos; saying that she wants to see them one last time. Those words stabbed Severus in the heart, and they had a small argument over it because Severus wanted her to believe that nothing will happen to her. But in the end Severus sent patronus messages to all of them, explaining the situation a bit. Scarlett haven’t said anything about her illness to anyone still. When they got Severus’s message, all was panicked and couldn’t understand what happened to her so suddenly. Her parents and Sirius apparated there in the same day with the message, Carina and Leo came in the night of the same day. Severus explained them her illness beforehand which did lead to an argument between them, they were angry that Severus hasn’t said anything to them until this day even in secret from Scarlett. But in the end, they all realized that arguing won’t help anything and it was time to see Scarlett. She wasn’t able to get out of the bed, so all went to see her in the bedroom. She was sleeping in the dark blue sheets which made her to look even paler than usual, her hair colour was the only lively thing on her at the moment.

Ricardus went over to his only daughter and woke her up by kissing her cheek softly. “Wake up princess...”

“Dad...” Scarlett looked at him sleepily and tried to sit up. “You came.” When she realized all the people she wanted to see was in the room, her sad eyes sparkled with happiness. “You all came!”

“Of course we did mummy!” Carina jumped on the bed to snuggle her.

“Be careful Carrie.” Leo warned her, he was extremely tense since he found out about his mother’s condition. Leo was the mummy’s boy since birth and he adored Scarlett in every way. Possibility of losing her was killing him.

“It’s fine Leo, come join us baby.” Scarlett held a shaky hand out for Leo who happily accepted it and snuggled into his mother too.

The air of the room was unexplainable, everybody’s eyes had a sad expression when their lips were forced into a smile. They were trying to have a cheerful day just to make Scarlett happy but deep down all of them was crying internally. Especially Sirius, he was very silent. He was blaming himself for what happened to his Scarlett, he has put so much stress and pressure on her because of the fuckery they have been through. He had one job; protect his family and keep it together but he has failed terribly. Sirius shook these thoughts off and turned his attention back to Scarlett. They all took some photos together and talked for hours. Scarlett hasn’t been that happy for a long time, she even ate some food with them. Her happiness calmed everybody down for a bit.

    The twins and Sirius have taken couple of days off from work so everybody would stay at the island. Severus was helping them to make the beds in the living room and the guest room, their house wasn’t that big so Ric and Aurelia would stay in the guest room while Sirius and the twins were sharing the living room. While they were on this, Scarlett wanted to talk with Sirius privately. Sirius went back to the bedroom where Scarlett was and sat next to her; silver eyes met with the forest green ones for the first time in a while.

“Siri...”

“Yes kitten.” He smiled softly at her.

“I want you to promise me one thing.”

“What is it?”

“When... when i am gone, please take care of Carina and Leo also yourself. I want to make sure that you all will be just as fine even i am not with you here no more...”

“No no no, don’t say such things. I don’t wanna hear those, Scarlett.” Sirius held her hand tightly and kissed her knuckles. “We will see our kids’ weddings and have grandchildren; we will be the coolest grandparents! Where do you think you are going without doing any of these!?” Sirius joked but his eyes were filled with tears, he was having hard time while trying not to cry.

Scarlett’s lips trembled while the tears were running down on her cheeks. Her heart broke thinking that she won’t be able to see any of these events Sirius just said. “Don’t buy little motorbikes to our grandchildren for their first birthday.” Scarlett joked trying to change the mood.

“Ah damn, i was just thinking that!” Sirius laughed but shortly his laughter turned into sobs. He snuggled into Scarlett who was halfway laying, she wrapped one arm around him while playing with his hair with the other hand. This was the way how Sirius copes with sadness, he would rest his head on either Scarlett’s chest or lap and let her to play with his hair until he was calm again. But this time Scarlett cried with him too, they poured out all the sadness they held inside.

“My lawyer will give keys to each of you when i d... you know; i prepared 4 trunks with the things i want to give you, the twins and Severus. They are in the basement of my house. When the time comes, take them okay...?”

Sirius didn’t answer her question but instead he held onto her even more. Scarlett sighed but knew he would do what she asked him to do. She looked down at Sirius who was laying next to her, head rested on her chest. “I want you to know that, i was so happy with you and i didn’t have any regrets. I think our friendship and marriage were more than just decent, they were perfectly splendid. I loved you very much Sirius Orion Black, i still do.”

Sirius finally looked up at her face, his cheeks were wet from the tears he shed; he sat up slowly. “Scarlett Serafina Rose, i love you more and always will. You are the best thing ever happened to me. I am so so so sorry for all the times i made you sad, none of them were intentional... You are my one and only.” Without a thought, Sirius closed the gap between their faces and pressed his lips into hers. Familiar feeling of 26 years filled them but this kiss was different; it was a farewell kiss and both of them knew it. Their tears mixed into the kiss and Sirius couldn’t take it anymore; he run out of the room crying.

Severus came to their bedroom soon after he saw Sirius run outside. “How are you Scar?” He asked while changing into his pyjamas.

“Good, i guess...?” She had a weird feeling whole day since her loved ones came but she couldn’t understand what; it was like she was cured in a day.

Severus turned off the lights before came to bed, but Scarlett turned on their bedside lights immediately. Severus raised his eyebrows, Scarlett hated to sleep in a lighted room even it was just a tinniest light. She noticed his confusion and explained. “I wanna see you...”

“Why is that love? Did you miss me?” Severus hugged her and kissed her tear-stained cheek.

“I will miss you...”

Severus was about to ask her what she meant but before he could, Scarlett kissed him passionately. This took Severus by surprise; since Scarlett’s illness got worse, the only intimate moments they shared were soft and slow kisses. She slowly pulled away and whispered into his ear. “You are my first, my last and my everything. I will keep your love evermore, Severus. I love you.”

Severus was used to Scarlett’s regular farewell talks by now and he hated them because they just hurt him even more but that felt different. When Scarlett looked into his night-like eyes, he got lost in hers; Severus always loved how big and meaningful her eyes were.

“Tell me you love me...” Scarlett’s whisper brought him back to reality.

“I love you more than anything in the whole wide world Scarlett, you know that. You are my luck.” Severus kissed her one last time. Scarlett rested onto his chest then he started to sing their song “I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You” to put her to sleep while playing with her hair. Her eyes closed slowly and she dived into a peaceful sleep.

    The next day a shriek woke everyone up; it was raining cats and dogs with loud thunders. The weather simply reflected everyone’s feelings about today. They were planning to stay couple of days more but they changed the plan and took Scarlett to London with them. London days weren’t any different, they were gloomy and smothery. Severus wanted to turn back to Naxos for Scarlett’s birthday, they have decided on celebrating it there this year and he wanted to make it happen.

    Severus was listening to a slow music from the record player and drinking some wine when his eyes caught the window, it was snowing for the first time this year in the island. Severus smiled happily thinking that Scarlett’s usual birthday wish was happening. Since it was midnight and officially her birthday, he ran up to their bedroom to wake her up and let her know about the snow. When he walked into the room, Scarlett was already awake in their bed. She was looking like a snow angel in her white satin sleeping gown, Severus grinned at her while moving the curtains aside.

“Surprise! Just how you wished for your birthday, love.”

“I haven’t wished for snow this year, i have only wished to be able to celebrate it...”

“We can start celebrations right now if you want, it passed midnight. Happy 56 my love!”

Scarlett didn’t respond to him; she was staring at him rather sorrowfully. He leaned against the wall behind him to support himself.

“I am not here, all of this happening in your head Severus...”

Severus shook his head while whispering “no” constantly.

“I died that night in your arms... It was your scream to wake everyone up in the following morning... You all took me to London for my funeral...”

“STOP! Please stop...”

Severus cried out while sliding down on wall to the floor. He buried his face into his palms and cried his heart out. When he calmed down, he kissed Scarlett’s promise ring which he was wearing on his pinkie now.

“I love you Scarlett... We will meet again…”

A/n: ahhh this final chapter always makes me cry😭 i don’t know why i wrote it like that…

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[collecting-stories]

Yours - pt. 03 - Rafe Cameron

Summary: A chapter of firsts. 

A/N: This chapter is like 5.5k words so I apologize in advance for that. 

One Thing Right Masterlist | Outer Banks Masterlist

▽ △ ▽ △

-First Thanksgiving-

“You know what would be even better than seeing my family for Thanksgiving?” Rafe attempted, sitting at the wrap around counter on his laptop, trying to finish the last of his work before the inevitable holiday dinner you were hosting happened. 

“Is the answer, not seeing your family?” You asked, looking over at him. 

When Rafe’s dad had extended the invitation for Thanksgiving, for the first time since Rafe started paying his own bills, he knew exactly what the intention was. Despite the show at Christmas of a gift arriving to his apartment the only people he kept in touch with besides friends from back home were his sisters. Sarah less than Wheezie but they’d come a long way from when they were teens. And with Wheezie back home during her year off from school, he knew that Rose had no doubt seen his Instagram. Notably, the pictures of you that had begun to literal his once scarce feed. 

And just like that, out of nowhere, Ward called with the great idea that everyone get together for the holidays. 

“Thanksgiving.” Rafe has offered, “you can come up to Boston, we’ll host.” It was an olive branch. A tiny one, barren too, more like a twig but it was something and Ward took it because he was curious. 

Rafe had gotten a job with an economist firm right out of college and two years later he had completely cut his father out of his life. The firm was the reason he was in Boston, they offered him three locations, Los Angeles, which felt too far away from his sisters, Chicago, too windy, and Boston. He’d taken the job and bought an apartment that looked like something out of an ad for Restoration Hardware, sleek and modern. Cut the toxic parts of his family off and now it’d all seemingly paid off. 

When you placed the last dish on the table, thirty minutes from his family’s arrival, Rafe spun his barstool around so he could grab your waist and pull you back into him. 

“I could use the nap right now, honestly.” You admitted, leaning back against him. Rafe kissed the side of your head, hands brushing up the sides of your yoga pants, trying to find skin without looking. You’d started your pursuit of the perfect Martha Stewart approved Thanksgiving with a sweatshirt on, but that and the shirt beneath it had eventually been shed and tossed over the back of Rafe’s couch in favor of just your yoga pants and sports bra. Your anxiety had a habit of making you warm. 

“My dad and Rose won’t be here for like, thirty minutes, go relax.” He offered, loosening his hold on you when you twisted around in his arms so that you could face him. 

“I don’t have time, I still have to get dressed.” You mumbled, face pressed into his shirt. 

In all honesty, you weren’t sure you could’ve relaxed anyway. Ever since Rafe had told you his dad and step-mom were coming up for Thanksgiving with his sisters you had been internally freaking out. A meeting the family holiday wasn’t something you had never done before. You’d met Ian’s family at a Christmas dinner the first year that you’d dated. But that had been a dinner you simply showed up to, not one you put on yourself. 

This was your dinner, that you made from scratch, in Rafe’s apartment. It was your first real holiday together aside from the Halloween party you’d forced him to attend at Nina’s and now you were entertaining his family too.

-

“Things are moving really fast huh?” Nina had teased, standing over the bar cart in her small apartment, trying to remember how to mix a vodka martini. 

“Not...really fast.” You replied. Nina had been bugging you about the pace of your relationship for a while now, acting like it was so out of the ordinary that you had swapped structured date nights for take out at his apartment or yours. 

“You guys have already hit pre-moving-in-together stage.” Nina supplied, “trying to beat Anya out for a wedding this year?” 

“I’m not trying to beat anyone out?” You knew you sounded defensive but you couldn’t help it. “Can we please talk about something else?” 

“Too late,” she laughed, taking a sip of her finished concoction before grimacing. She looked over your shoulder, “do you know how to make a martini?”

“Afraid not.” Rafe replied, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and guiding you a little closer to him. He had agreed to Halloween at Nina’s because he wanted to spend the night with you and this party was a stipulation of that. He was dressed as Tom Cruise in Top Gun, something you had teased him about relentlessly from the moment he put on the costume but you’d be lying if you said he didn’t look insanely hot in the get up. Especially now that the small apartment had gotten so crowded and overheated that he’d slipped off the top of the coveralls and had them tied at his waist with just a white tank on. 

“What’re you good for then?” You joked, laughing when he pulled you even closer, pressing his lips to your neck. “Stop!” 

“Do you want one of whatever this is?” Nina asked, holding her drink out to Rafe. 

“I would but I actually came over here to steal my girlfriend.” He replied, attention moving from Nina to you, “I’ve got a meeting in the morning, I should head out.” 

“Okay,” you moved out of his hold to say goodbye to Nina, giving her a hug and trying not to let her slosh any of her martini on you. 

“No, stay!” Nina insisted, a bit whiny from tipsiness. 

“I‘ll text you tomorrow,” you promised, pulling away from her, already reaching your hand out for Rafe’s. You felt him take your hand, glancing back and smiling at him before giving Nina a kiss on the cheek, “love you, bye.” 

“Love you!” She called as Rafe pulled you away to the door. 

Once in the elevator you let out a breath, squeezing Rafe’s hand gently to get his attention. “Sorry, you could’ve stayed.” He finally said. 

“It’s okay, besides,” you replied, leaning against him and wrapping your arms around his waist, “I have off tomorrow and I know for a fact that your meeting is a zoom conference that’s like, an hour.” 

“That’s true,” Rafe said, nodding and grinning.

“So, I can bother you the rest of the day.” 

-

Wheezie and Sarah had been on zoom plenty of times while you were around and Sarah had even come up to Boston for her birthday a few weeks into you dating Rafe so it wasn’t his sisters that you were sweating. Ward and Rose were both pretty imposing. You weren’t impressed with their wealth or intimidated by it. You had grown up in a similar environment to Rafe but your parents had never felt quite as cold as his. 

“At least there’s alcohol,” Sarah teased, coming up beside you to pour herself a glass of wine. Her own boyfriend had opted out of Thanksgiving with her family to stay down in the Outer Banks and you were a little jealous he didn’t have endure this. 

“Thank god,” you replied, taking a sip of the only red wine you didn’t absolutely hate. A sweeter red from a subscription box that one of Rafe’s friends had gotten him for Christmas once and that he kept up with. 

Dates to fancy restaurants hadn’t been scraped altogether but they were usually reserved for dinners that included more that you and Rafe. You didn’t need over priced food and dry wine to be impressed by him and he certainly enjoyed just hanging out without all the pressure. But apparently fancy restaurants and the wine they served in them was exactly what Rose was looking for. 

“My god, you can taste the sugar in this. It’s like grape juice.” She complained, lips pursing at the unwelcomed flavor. 

“Drink something else then.” Rafe replied, annoyed that he was even putting himself through this. And that he was putting you through this too. He knew you were stressing about Thanksgiving. You’d been back from the wedding for a week, and things between the two of you had been better than before (though before they’d been pretty fantastic too), and now he was subjecting you to his family.  

“Well if there was anything here that was drinkable,” Rose snapped, glaring at her stepson, “I would.”  

“How’s business been?” Ward asked, drawing Rafe’s attention away from Rose and her scrutiny.

You tuned out their chatter in favor of listening to Wheezie talk about her current endeavors, which sounded a lot more pot driven then anything else. Hiking the Pacific Crest Trail with a group of friends to “discover her inner self” was not quite the Wheezie you had heard stories about but Rafe had told you plenty of times that his youngest sister’s new girlfriend was a bit of an irresistible influence. Whether that was good or bad was still to be determined.  

“What about you?” Rose asked, interrupting her daughter’s novel-length plans.  

“What about me?” You repeated. You knew what the question meant and you certainly expected it. Rafe had an incredibly good job for a guy his age. He was smarter than his family gave him credit for, more responsible than anyone expected, and then here you were, and sure, you made a delicious apple pie but that didn’t qualify you to be party of them.  

“What do you do?”

“I teach first grade.” You replied, not as impressive as being an economic analyst for a firm that had offices in Los Angeles, Chicago, Beijing, and Boston but it was yours and you loved it.  

Rose, clearly, did not, as evidenced by the way she grimaced at you. As if you were worse than the wine she had finally abandoned on the counter. “What age is that?”

“Usually 6 or 7 year olds.”  You replied. “There’s two first grade classes in my school and then two in the other three schools in our sort of, district. I teach my class but I’m also in charge of helping to finalize curriculum for all the other first grades.”  

“Sounds like a lot of stress and not a lot of money.” Rose replied. “You must be grateful to have found someone so financially secure.”  

The implication was there, and loud enough that the end of Rafe’s sentence teetered off as he turned away from the conversation with his father to look over at his stepmom. She had, in so many words, called you a gold digger, right there at Thanksgiving dinner and you hadn’t even sat down to eat the meal yet. If you knew Rafe, and at this point you certainly did, he was itching to say something. He wasn’t a teenager anymore, he wasn’t living under his dad’s roof or dependent on their money, he finally could say something and he looked ready to.  

But you wanted to at least have some sort of dinner so you attempted to speak up before he could, “actually, I make a fairly comfortable salary and-”

“You don’t have to justify anything to her.” Rafe said, “she’s just never met anyone who actually works for a living.”  

“I am one of the top real estate agents in the Outer Banks, do you know how many houses I closed on last year?” Rose snapped, looking toward her step-son and her husband.  

“Rose, please, let’s just sit and eat.” Ward commented. His attempts at keeping the peace were all for show. Everything he said seemed to have some sort of edge behind it. As if he’d worded it just right to compliment and insult at the same time.  

You sat beside Rafe once you’d served the dinner, staying between him and Sarah so you didn’t wind up anywhere near his parents. Wheezie dominated most of the dinner conversation talking about some guy who was doing podcasts from salvation mountain because he believed that he could commune with the “ancestors of America”.  

“Please tell me your sister is high right now.” You whispered, leaning close to Rafe.  

“Oh yeah, high as a kite.” He replied, “think she’ll give us some?”  

“That’s just what we need.”  

Rafe leaned closer, lips practically brushing your ear as he whispered, “It’ll be fun, kick everyone out, get high, have sex.”

“No.” You bit your lip to stop from laughing when he kissed just behind your ear, “now eat your food.”

“Is Fivel here?” Wheezie asked suddenly, interrupting her own story when she remembered your dog. She’d seen him on facetime enough that she had been dying to meet the black lab.  

“What is a Fivel?” Ward asked, looking at you and Rafe.

“He’s my dog. He’s in Rafe’s bedroom, I didn’t want him messing up the table or anything before anyone arrived.” You explained, turning back to Wheezie, “I have to walk him after dinner if you want to come?”  

“Yes.”

Rafe had told you, the first time he met your dog, that his father never allowed pets of any kind when they were kids. Not even a goldfish was permitted in the Cameron Household. He said that, according to Ward, the children were irresponsible and would never be able to care for an animal.  

-

“One time I brought a stray cat that I found home.” Rafe said, sitting in your bed, petting Fivel. The dog was beside himself, rolled to expose his stomach with his head in Rafe’s lap.  

“He didn’t like kill it, did he?”

“Honestly, wouldn’t have been surprised.” He admitted, “When he got mad he was scary. But no, he just made me drive with him to the SPCA to drop it off. I cried the whole way there over having to give up this kitten and then my dad made me walk all the way home.”

“Why?”

“Cause I cried.”  

The bed dipped as you climbed back onto it, sitting beside Rafe and pressing a kiss against his bare shoulder, “you dad sounds like a dick.”

“Oh yeah, no argument there.”  

-

Ward piped up again, seemingly in the mood for conversation and always happy to paint his son in a bad light. “Rafe wanted a cat once when he was younger but I didn’t allow it. The poor thing would’ve died in our house, Rafe’s never been good at taking care of anything, let alone himself.”

“Dad,” Rafe snapped.  

“I’m just putting it out there. I mean, you work with kids,” he said, looking at you, “you must’ve thought about having them.”

“Uh, yeah.” You nodded. It was a conversation that you and Rafe had for the first time when you stayed up north a ways for Anya and Ian’s wedding. Kids were not going to happen next month, certainly, but they were something you both agreed you wouldn’t mind.  

“Well, usually, you know, they say if you can take care of an animal then you can take care of a kid. And I’m just tell you, Rafe couldn’t take care of either.”  

“Dad!” Sarah interrupted this time, glaring at her dad. “Can we just have a nice family meal?”  

“We are.” Ward insisted. Under the table, you reached for Rafe’s hand, squeezing it reassuringly as his father continued talking, seemingly unaffected. “Did Rafe tell you he used to do drugs? You don’t do that anymore right? He snorted coke, wasted thousands of dollars on the stuff.”

The flatware and serving dishes on the table banged together as Rafe stood up suddenly, letting go of your hand. You thought for a moment that he was going to lose it and flip out on Ward and honestly, you wanted to yourself. But he said nothing, walking down the hall to the spare room that he used as an office, all of you watching in silence. Was he so upset he was locking himself in, you could imagine the absolute joy Ward would take in knowing he knocked his son down so far that he was sequestering in his bedroom.  

Finally he came back, piece of paper in hand, and he stopped at Ward’s chair. “Here, get out of my house.”

“What’s this?”

“A check. For 25 thousand. Now take your wife and get out of my house.” Rafe repeated, “dinner is over.”

You sat there in silence, too shocked to look at Sarah and Wheezie, who mirrored your expression, watching as Ward and Rose stood and left. Rafe walked them to the door, slamming it after them and, finally letting out the anger that had been boiling over all night, punched the wall, hand going right through the plaster.

“Wheezie and I can walk Fivel for you,” Sarah whispered, standing up and ushering Wheezie to the bedroom to get the dog and give you and Rafe some privacy.  

You got up at the same time though you headed for your boyfriend, who had his bloody hand pressed against a white button up, face red. “Hey,” you spoke soft, in what you hoped was not your ‘talking to kids voice’, “come on. I know you have a first aid kit cause I bought it.”

He followed you into the bathroom, sitting on the closed toilet while you pulled the first aid kit out from below the sink. The front door opened and closed as Sarah and Wheezie left with Fivel. Just the two of you in the apartment now.

“Hey,” you brushed his hair out of his face and he tilted his head back to look up at you. “You did the right thing. He shouldn’t talk to you like that, or about you like that.”

“He’s right. I was a fucking screw up.”  

“In the vain of sounding like I’m going into teacher mode,” you said and Rafe laughed, leaning forward to press his forehead to your stomach, “Everyone messes up sometimes. You’re not that person anymore, and no one should ever talk to their kid like that.”

“I’m just glad he’s gone.” Rafe replied. “I don’t care if I never see him again.”

“Won’t argue with you on that.”

-

-First Christmas-

With the way that Thanksgiving had gone for the two of you, Rafe had proposed a Christmas without family. You might’ve agreed except he hadn’t met yours and you were more than determined to prove that not everyone was like his family. Christmas brought a lot of things. The four-month mark on your relationship, though Nina claimed it felt more like you had been dating a year, and your first major fight.  

Which began as a spat at his place and evolved into a whole verbal sparring match once you were at yours.  

“I’m not going.” He kept repeating the same phrase over and over.

“Christmas is so important to my family, I already told you-”

“And I already told you that the last thing I want to do is subject myself to a house full of people on Christmas when I could be home.” He was adamant about his ‘no family holidays’ decision.

“You haven’t met my family yet.” You argued. You’d been subjected to his and you talked with his sisters frequently but he had never bothered to meet any of your family.  

“Schedule a dinner.”

“Rafe! I did Thanksgiving, it’s not fair that you won’t come up for Christmas with me.” What wasn’t fair was bringing up Thanksgiving in the first place. The only physical memory of evening, besides the 25k that Ward did end up withdrawing from Rafe’s savings, was the hole in the wall that one of his friends had jokingly bought a frame for when they were up visiting from North Carolina the week after.  

“No.” He said the word with enough finality to end the argument.  

“Fine, I’ll go without you.”  

Dinner that night was tense and he didn’t stay over like he usually did. You didn’t text him in the morning and when he finally asked about getting dinner together two days later you lied and told him you were busy. Maybe you were being petty, probably you were, but you didn’t care. You were pissed, and rightly so. You had endured Rose’s scrutiny and had been there afterward for Rafe after he confronted his dad and he couldn’t even make the drive to western Mass. to see your family.  

So, you went alone. Packed your bags, packed up Fivel, and drove out yourself, arriving the day before Christmas Eve to your parent’s house. Christmas was a big deal in your family. The day of was always spent at home, together, with a brunch spread that could’ve fed far more people and the Hallmark channel on a constant loop of ridiculous movies that you loved way more than you should’ve. But Christmas Eve was a whole other story. Since you were a kid your mom had been hosting Christmas Eve at her house, family, friends, anyone who wanted to was welcome to come over. There was chili and meatball sandwiches and appetizers and none of the food the people usually ate for dinner. This was no Martha Stewart Holiday.  

The drive to western Mass wasn’t long, thankfully, because it took Rafe about an hour after you left to realize that there was absolutely no way he wanted to spend Christmas the same way he had the last few years. Alone in his apartment re-watching Die Hard or some other pseudo Christmas movie.  

He got there on Christmas Eve, pulling his car in next to yours in the crowded driveway. It was already snowing pretty heavily but his main concern was you. Would you be happy he changed his mind or pissed that he put you through all that fighting just to decide in the end that he was going to come?  

There were people on the porch and the front door was open so Rafe took that as hint enough to go inside. Your house was smaller than Tanney Hill but probably just as old, the woodwork inside that you’d told him about was as daunting as you said, though he still thought the house looked more welcoming than his.  

He weaved through people who said hello without knowing who he was until he managed to find the kitchen, and you, standing at the island talking to your mom. “I just think it would’ve been nice if she told you ahead of time that she wasn’t gonna show up. No one else wants to eat vegan spinach artichoke dip.”  

“She said she was going to try to make it.” Your mom replied, looking up from the oven and realizing that the two of you weren’t alone in the kitchen anymore. She had seen enough pictures of Rafe from your instagram and from what you’d sent her that she recognized him immediately. “Anyway, I’m taking this out to the living room.” She announced, grabbing the charcuterie board and passing Rafe on her way out.  

You turned, to finish your thought on your cousin, and caught sight of Rafe for the first time. “I thought you wanted to-”

“I know I said I wanted to stay home and not do family stuff but...I’d rather be here with you than stay in my apartment by myself.” He admitted. Rafe wasn’t one to fall on his own sword, he’d always been too stubborn to acknowledge when he was wrong but he couldn’t keep doing that. Not if he wanted this to last and he really did.  

You crossed the small space between the two of you, wrapping your arms around him, “it means a lot to me that you’re here.” You replied, “Christmas Eve is my favorite.”

“I think this is more people than house parties I’ve thrown.”

“Crowds are the best.” You stepped away enough to kiss him, the peach flavor of your lip balm making him lick his lips when you pulled away.  

“Why’s that?”

“Cause you can sneak off in crowds.” You replied, smiling enough that he knew exactly what you were insinuating as you pulled away from him, hooking your arm with his instead, “can I give you a tour of the house Mr. Cameron?”

“Absolutely.”

You walked him up the stairs, trying not to be suspicious as you ducked out of the party.  

-

“I watched this documentary about Nancy Reagan once,” you began to say, laying with your head against Rafe’s chest. It was Christmas morning, as your mom had reminded the two of you when she knocked on the door a few minutes ago.  

“Interesting post-sex commentary,” he teased, cutting you off.  

“Shut up.” You laughed, “I was trying to tell you something nice.” You sat up, angling yourself so that you were facing him, holding the sheet up in front of you. He looked at you skeptically, reaching for the sheet and giving it a tug but you held on. “No, cause you’ll distract me and then I won’t remember what I was gonna say and if we take too long my mom will come back upstairs.”

Rafe pouted, “no early Christmas presents?”  

“Trust me, you’ve had enough early Christmas presents to last until the new year.” You laughed, leaning over to kiss him. The moment you did, of course, he pulled the sheet away and grabbed your hips, guiding you back onto his lap. “Family Christmas.” You reiterated, determined to make it downstairs.  

And you did, though not before Rafe insisted he needed a shower and you needed to join him. The nice clothes you’d both worn for the party the night before were exchanged this morning for pajamas, yours a onesie that Nina had bought you from pink a few years ago.

Rose had always done Christmas for show, a gaudy tree and enough blinding lights and white on sliver to make someone feel like they were in a Kardashian’s house and not the Outer Banks. She never did yard ornaments or sentimental anything and someone else always baked whatever desserts they had for dinner at the holidays. Yours was entirely different. Red and green everything, the overwhelmingly large tree much more visible then it had been the night before with people crowded around the living room. There were ornaments from every year of your life, some silly figurines from Hallmark and others handcrafted with school pictures in them.  

“Guess how old I was in that picture?” You said, pointing to a baby picture of you that hung on the tree.

“I don’t know, two?”

“Five months...I just had a shit ton of hair. My mom said one time when she took my brother to Tennis the girl there asked if I wanted to join the seven-year-old class. I was three.” You replied.  

“So you were always weird?” Rafe asked, grinning when you smacked his arm.  

“How did you two meet? We didn’t get the story.” Your mom said, carrying a tray of food in and putting it on the coffee table. Your brother was with his husband’s family this year, but your sister was here with her husband and her three kids, one of whom was currently climbing onto Rafe’s lap the second he sat down.  

“Sorry, Garrett still gets u-p-s-e-t when he doesn’t get enough a-t-t-e-n-t-i-o-n.” Your sister said, as Garrett tugged on the strings of Rafe’s hoodie. Your sister was holding one of her twins and her husband had the other in his arms.  

“That’s fine, Garrett and I can chill, right?” Rafe said, tilting his head to look at your nephew.

“Yeah chill,” he repeated, smiling up at Rafe.

“So,” your mom said, drawing the conversation back, “how did you two meet?”

“Like how did we actually meet?” Rafe asked, smiling at you as you sat down on the couch beside him, Garrett repositioning himself so he was stretched out across both of you, laughing when you tickled him.  

Your mom nodded.  

“We uh, met at college but I was kinda still with Ian so nothing really happened and then Nina saw him on my Tinder and swipped and now we’re together.” You replied, “a modern love story.”

“Yeah, we,” he looked down at Garrett and then back to your mom, “h-o-o-k-e-d up and she broke my heart by not calling me back.” Rafe said.  

“Rafe!” You laughed, nudging him.  

“God, I hated Ian...what a d-o-u-c-h-e,”

“We actually just went to Ian’s wedding in November,” You replied, lifting Garrett so that you could grab some food off the table. Rafe put his arm around your nephew when he tried to rock back again.  

“No!” Garrett laughed, squirming around. “I wanna do presents.”

“Okay, okay, we’ll do presents.” Your stepdad promised. Garrett slid off of Rafe’s lap, grabbing his hand and pulling him to the tree. Rafe followed, sitting down at the base of the tree so that Garrett could look for the presents with his name on them.  

“How was the wedding?” Your sister asked, sitting on the floor by the couch with one of the twins. “I can’t believe he invited you.”

“Oh he didn’t,” Rafe piped up, “Ian married her grade partner.”

“Are you kidding?” She practically hissed, immediately going into older sister defensive mode.  

You rolled your eyes, getting off the couch and sitting down beside Rafe and Garrett. “Not kidding, and it doesn’t matter anyway.”

-

Being at your parents for Christmas had the same feeling as being out of the city for the wedding. Maybe even more so this time around, spending time with your family, made it easier for Rafe to think about the possibility of moving out of Boston and settling down with you somewhere like this.  

“I bought that bike unitard, by the way.” You mentioned, packing your suitcase to leave. Rafe was laying on the bed in your childhood room, Fivel spread out next to him.  

“The what?” He asked, raising his head a little.  

“The bike unitard, that I showed you, from that yoga website.” You replied, “its the shorts.”

He hummed, laying his head back down and brushing his hand through Fivel’s fur.

“What’s the ‘mmhmmm’ supposed to mean?” you asked, mimicking his humming.  

“You don’t ride a bike. Also, it’s December.”

“I might start.” You argued. In reality the chances of you biking were slim to numb but the outfit had been cute and the site had a 20% off sale.  

“No.” He replied, “Nina asked you to bike two weeks ago and you said it was, and I quote, the worst activity in the world.” He said, finally sitting up all the way when you stopped packing to sit on the bed with him.  

“Well I could stationary bike?” You suggested, though that was unlikely too. “They have those ones with the desk. So you can work out and work.”

“You’ll never use that.”

“I might.”

“Why not just use that stupid peloton in my office.” It had been a gift from Rose and Ward two years prior and Rafe had used it a total of never. It just sat there, staring at him as he worked.  

“Then I’d be at your apartment all the time!”  

“More than you are now? I’m surprised I don’t get mail in your name already.” He replied, getting off the bed and going over to his weekend bag. You should’ve left by now to make it home before dark but neither of you were rushing to leave.  

“Well, we’re always busy! If I was there and not busy-”

“Coincidentally,” Rafe started to say, only to have you cut him off.

“Coincidentally?”

“Yeah, here.” He turned back toward you and held a small wooden box out.  

You took it somewhat skeptically, “what is this? This looks like the Leslie and Ben box.”

“That’s because you have the best fucking boyfriend in the world who watches endless reruns of Parks and Rec with you.” Rafe replied, “open the box.”

Sitting inside the wooden box was a keycard and a spare, silver key, both of which you recognized. “Are these to your apartment? Are you giving me keys to your apartment?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, “I’m also asking you to move in with me. I know your lease ends in January and my building is animal friendly...imagine my bookshelves with actual books on them.”

“You want us to move in together?”  

“I want a lot more than that,” Rafe admitted, “but, it’s a good place to start.”

-

Taglist: @maplelattes22 @poguesrforlife  @freckled-and-daydreaming  @chasefreakinstokes @millie-753 @fangirlwithme @alex12948 @katherine097 @tangledinsparkles @carbonated-beverage @mariofgreengables @damonsalvawhore27 @dopedoodes @dolanfivsosxox @belledutchess @poguelifeeee @faded-blue @parkerpetertingle @thebookwormlife @summer-clouds-and-long-days @jellyfishbeansontoast @minigranger @hoewkeye @love-someone-special @tiredfeels @strangerthanfanfiction713 @the-only-nana @tomzfrog @mozz-are-lla @vindictive-hearts @ssprayberrythings @jenahbell @beautyandthebleh @gothackedalready @teenwaywardasgardian @sarahcxmeron @haha-fuck-you-thot @stillbelieve398-5 @rewindlr @queenniccimicci @thedarkqueenofavalon @alytavzla @bqmblebee @linniep @nerdypartytrashpsychic @xxchxrryxx  @danielladreaming @obx-saltlife @youngestxhearts @spnobsessedmemes @wowitswondergurl @aoba-josigh @pineappleandcherries @mysterious-adventurer @justawilddreamerchild @rhyetaylor62 @calm-rejects @oh-annaa @aiifandomsunite @x-lulu @ceruleanjj @wicked-laugh @obxwriterfan @allie-mcginn @literarycharleton @khiaraaa-in-spacee @crushe-s @teamnick @daydreamlilys @collectiveuniverses @activist-af @mdgrdians @buckys-sunflower @vindictive-hearts @copper-boom @talksoprettyjjx @5am-cigarette @smiithys @dontjinx-it  @mysticsthinking  @rudy-pankow-needs-an-oscar @babymatilda @raekenliar @lemur46 @under-a-canyon-moon @calums-betch @dpaccione @bbeauttyybbx @teenwolfobx @iccyyyybitch @popcrone818 

[hellreads]

what are some of the most filthiest fics you've ever read?

this is the HARDEST ASK I have received so far, I spaced out after seeing this ask trying to recall every single filthy fic I ever read because there’s a lot but I will only be adding three fics per member for this ask, now, what I consider filthy may not be your cup of tea or may seem vanilla to y’all but to each their own, btw filthy to me includes threesomes to gangbangs because we’re weak for double penetration in this house, a lot of cum play and sloppy seconds, dirty talk, degradation, and more ~ by more I mean feelings, I need to feel something before drowning me in good explicit smut but I like pwps too lol, anyway, enough of my ramblings let’s get to the list! | 🍒

NOTE: please check all tags and warnings before reading a fic, read any of these at your own risk!

TOP PICKS

❥ The Hills by @minflix➴ Ski-Trip/Vacation!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Hoseok | Series➴ A ski trip with old friends sounds like a fun time, right?when your ex-boyfriend (who you hate but somehow always end up in bed with) and your stepbrother (who you are harboring not-so-secret feelings for) tag along at the last minute, you have a feeling it won’t be an uneventful weekend.but fun? debatable. that remains to be seen.

❥ Pour Up by jungxkook (deactivated/story no longer here on tumblr)➴ Fuckboy/Fratboy!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ You like to pretend you hate Jungkook and Taehyung but sleeping with both of them doesn’t sound so terrible especially when you’re drunk and faded.

❥ Extreme Obsession by saylilirose➴ Psychological/Yandere!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ In life, you meet one person that you live and grow old with. 

You? You meet seven. 

But your love? Non-existent. 

But theirs? Real…and obsessive.

Which turns deadly and dangerous. 

Without hesitation.➴ NOTE: this story contains heavy/dark/taboo themes and this isn’t for everyone, make sure you read all tags and warnings before starting this fic, you’ve been warned.

Kim Namjoon

❥ Miss Communication by @dovechim➴ Poly!AU | Namjoon x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ Poly relationships can be complicated. especially one where there’s an established hierarchy, and someone decides to break the rules. in a series of miscommunications between your boyfriends, you find yourself being the conveyor of peace and something else that isn’t quite what you expected. 

❥ Tigerboy by @joonbird➴ Hybrid!AU | Namjoon x Reader | One-Shot➴ “You, a docile rabbit hybrid, have been waiting a long time to meet the mysterious tiger hybrid, Kim Namjoon.”

❥ Criminal by @teawithkpop➴ Criminal/Police!AU | Namjoon x Reader x Yoongi x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ Namjoon is a wanted criminal, and he decides he wants you to be his ‘last meal’ before he’s booked.

Kim Seokjin

❥ The Devil Wears Armani by @floralseokjin➴ Devil!AU | Seokjin x Reader | Series➴ You never imagined accidentally attempting to sell your soul to the devil would lead to this…

❥ Off-Limits by @floralseokjin➴ Brother’s Bestfriend!AU | Seokjin x Reader | Series➴ You’ve been lusting after your brother’s best friend for a while now, ever since you met him at a house party, flirting it up a storm as you failed to realise who the other was. That was months ago now and things are still awkward, but you can’t ignore the sexual tension that’s simmers between the two of you…and it keeps getting worse…

❥ In The Bleak Midwinter by @pcyheartgirlx➴ Idol/Escort!AU | Seokjin x Reader x Chanyeol | Series➴ We’re all whores, we just sell different parts of ourselves.

You own a multi-billion dollar company, servicing the biggest names in kpop, in more ways than one. Under the name “Starlight Catering”, you, your best friends, Damon and Maya, and your hundreds of workers provide stress relief for idols.

You have partially retired, not because you didn’t want to, but because Chanyeol was your muse. He was all that you had time for and all you needed. Until Jin came along.

So what happens when you mix fire and ice?

You get smoke and all the lines are blurred.

Min Yoongi (hardest list to make, I have a lot of good Yoongi filth T_T)

❥ Zelus by bumblexfox➴ Sugar Daddy/Lovers!AU | Yoongi x Reader | One-Shot➴ Yoongi becomes jealous when your close friend Jungkook puts his hands all over you right infront of his face. So, Yoongi decides to make sure you know who you really belong to.

❥ Dead Leaves by wrienne➴ Detective!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Jimin | Series➴ In which you (reader) are a homicide detective about to face the biggest hurdle both of your career and life.

Married to probably the kindest but most boring man you’ve ever met and living in a town where nothing ever seems to happen means life for you is dull. Dull enough to drive you crazy with boredom and dissatisfaction. However, life changes abruptly when your old boss retires and a new man takes his place - a man you used to love (and sleep very regularly with) more than a decade ago. Especially when your husband comes home smelling of perfume, you’re unable to resist your more carnal urges and dead women start showing up across the city with unnerving frequency.

❥ Hyung, Open the Door by @gotmetalkinginmysleep➴ Idol!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Taehyung x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ You’ve been keeping the boys awake with your moaning for months thanks to Yoongi. Tae and Jungkook want to find out why.

Jung Hoseok 

❥ Flight 18 by @noona-la-la-la➴ Idol!AU | Hoseok x Reader | One-Shot➴ Korean Air Flight 18 leaves daily from Los Angeles traveling to Seoul. You’ve taken this flight before, but this time you’ve got an irritating passenger in the neighboring seat. Little did you know that he would end up giving you the ride of your life.

❥ See Both Sides Like Chanel by @minflix➴ Rich Kids/FWB!AU | Namjoon x Reader x Hoseok | One-Shot➴ You, Namjoon, and Hoseok are inseparable. Three best friends that grew up together since you were all in diapers.

But lately, Namjoon has been drifting away…

So on his birthday, you and Hoseok remind him just how inseparable the three of you really are.

⤷ or alternatively: a little less twenty-one candles, a little more “touch me”

❥ Langour by @littlemisskookie➴ Step-Siblings!AU | Hoseok x Reader | One-Shot➴ Hoseok’s got a lust-driven thirst for his step sister.

Park Jimin

❥ Sharing is Caring by @littlemisskookie➴ Prostitution!AU | Seokjin x Reader x Jimin | One-Shot➴ Jin graciously decides to loan you to handsome Park Jimin for the night.

❥ Power Play by @dovechim➴ Pornstar!AU | Jimin x Reader | One-Shot➴ You know him as the A-lister of all porn stars; a man who sits pretty in his place at the top of the food chain. But you also know him as the Park Jimin who single-handedly humiliated you and ruined your own career as a rookie just starting out, the epitome of the biggest dick in the entire industry… and you’re not talking about his assets. But when Park Jimin comes to you, saying he’s in a slump that only you can get him out of and begs you to sign an exclusive contract with him; things get messy… in more ways than one.

❥ Neighbors by @jkeuphoriadreamland➴ Neighbors!AU | Jimin x Reader | Series➴ Finally achieving your successes in life you never expected the distraction that came with your new hot neighbor. He, however, had been trying to get your attention for a much different reason.

Kim Taehyung & Jeon Jungkook (because majority of my fave filth includes these two ~ I am breaking the 3 fics list for them because I can dsjkhfkjasdhf)

❥ Clandestine by @ditzymax➴ Assassin!AU | Taehyung x Named OC x Jungkook | Series➴  As a professional assassin, Kim Kinsoo has many shrouded secrets in her life. Some of them she shares openly with her loving boyfriend, but there are other things he must never know.

❥ Shameless by @imaginethisbts➴ Voyeurism/Exhibitionism!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ Taehyung’s the new guy in town, just trying to make some friends. And when Jungkook invites him to a party, he thinks he’s finally gotten a good opportunity to meet some new people. But what he doesn’t expect is witnessing his new friend Jungkook and his girlfriend, you, getting it on in front of him, and all of the other guys, at this so-called party. 

❥ When You Least Expect It by @johobi➴ F2L/Lovers!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ You’re in love with your childhood friend, Taehyung. The problem is, you treasure your friendship with him far too much to ever risk losing it. Oh, and he’s quite the Casanova. At your wits’ end with feelings you can no longer hide as diligently as you once did, you ask him to set you up with someone, anyone, in a last-ditch attempt to avoid a heartbreaking conversation.

❥ Stealing the Bite by @wildernessuntothemselves➴ Supernatural!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ In a world populated by the supernatural, witches were the most despised and mistrusted of creatures. Everyone desired to make use of their powers but no one was willing to be seen openly conferring with them. And so there came to pass a heinous practice: Small covens of witches were isolated and kept under wraps in every kingdom, to be utilized when needed, and kept under close watch to prevent them from rebelling. 

Growing up in a kingdom ruled by werewolves, abuse and scorn were a fact of life, but you were determined to put an end to it. You devised a devious plan to gain power, and it involved a certain prince.

❥ The Doms Next Door by @tatertotthethot➴ Poly/Tattoo!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ In which you unknowingly accept the offer to become a tattoo model for the two, sexually-crazed men next door.

❥ Maid for You by @forgottenpasta➴ Idol!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ As Bangtan’s dorm maid you’re expected to be professional, your identity anonymous. Until Jeongguk finds you on your knees beside his bed, with his rolex in your hand.

❥ Into Temptation by coconutty➴ Demon!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ It was just a dare…

❥ Lust and Errors by @imaginethisbts➴ Step-Siblings!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ Stepbrother, fuck buddy… They were one and the same now. But what started out as some mindless fucking game, quickly turns into something much more difficult and complex.

❥ What’s Mine is Mine by @avveh➴ Idol!AU | Jungkook x Reader | One-Shot ➴ You caught his eye from day one. As far as Jungkook was concerned, you were always meant to be his.

❥ This Isn’t Love Darling by @junqkook➴ Mafia/Escort!AU | Jungkook x Reader | One-Shot➴ He tasted of an empty night and an eclipsing moon, with blood on his hands and fire in his eyes when he put his mouth on yours.

❥ Illicit Photography by @jkeuphoriadreamland➴ University/Photography!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ You’re a well respected university professor who assigns a portfolio project to your photography students, but your best student, Jungkook, doesn’t follow the rules very well.

❥ My Way by @ellieljade➴ Fuckbuddy!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ Jungkook doesn’t appreciate your boyfriend’s insistence that he stop sleeping with you and he knows just how to prove that you like it his way.

OT7

❥ Moth to Flame by @bang-to-the-tan➴ Vampire!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ Robbed of your memories and intended as a birthday present for a deadly creature of the night, you unwittingly become the center of a territorial dispute between two covens of vampires. Tensions are rising and the brothers are getting hungry.

❥ Void by @btssavedmylifeblr➴ Space!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ You are the only female crew member on a 12-year space mission with seven handsome men. The sexual tension is real, y’all.

❥ Temptation Series by @yminie➴ Idol!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ Sleeping Temptation : Yoongi and Jimin come home to find you asleep on the couch. To say they were happy they beat the other members back would be an understatement.

➴ Waking Temptation : Hoseok, Taehyung and Namjoon are home, and you’re not asleep anymore.

➴ Sweeter Temptation : After an eventful evening, it’s the morning after and Jin’s there to take care of you.

➴ Breaking Temptation : Jungkook ditches movie night for other activities, and you’re not impressed.

❥ Seven Deadly Sins by @mintedmango➴ Demon!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ You stood suddenly, chair being pushed away by the backs of your legs, the rest of the sins standing with you as you looked around in panic. All except Sloth who was out cold in the corner.“Oh, little pet, indeed, I am still hungry.”

❥ Physcom by @teawithkpop➴ Idol!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ AU where live-in Physical Companions are provided to k-pop groups so the members can relieve their sexual related stress and tension - around their busy schedules, of course. You are one such “PhysCom”. However, complications arise when the BTS members start harboring romantic feelings for you. Feelings you’re not sure you can reject with any believable amount of conviction. Such a scandal could result in getting both you and them fired and exposed, ruining any future career options for all parties involved… it turns out the “com” in PhysCom might as well stand for complications.

❥ Cum by @honeymoonjin➴ Idol!AU | OT7 x Reader | Two-Shot➴ An episode of Run! BTS in which the seven members compete to see who can make you cum first.

❥ The Gentlemen’s Club by @brookelegend➴ Club!AU | OT7 x Reader (Hobi-Centric) | Series➴ You’ve been in a dating drought, more specifically, a sex drought. Your best friend has the perfect remedy for your problem: The Gentlemen’s Club.

[stylesgalaxy]

mastermind; epilogue

15 months later

In the elevator, I adjust my blouse and smooth out my blazer. My hand shakes slightly and that’s probably because of how much coffee I’m pumped with.

There was a party last night at the boy’s house to celebrate our graduation, and them moving out of the house they did nothing but hold parties in. I told Harry I didn’t want to go, but he insisted that it was the last party and I couldn’t miss it. I felt nostalgic seeing all my friends, though I knew a lot of us were staying around and not moving too far away.

But I did end up drinking a little because it was the end of an era. Aside from the boys and Julia and Eleanor, I didn’t really care too much for most of the people at the party (because I didn’t know most). I was keeping my drinks to a minimum and so did Harry. It’s already hard enough for him to let people make a mess in his house, but it was especially harder last night because they’re putting the house up for sale and needed it in it’s best condition. We ended up leaving before the party ended to be alone and get food.

I grin remembering his warm smile and how soft his hands felt in mine. The dingy shawarma place with the fluorescent lights was no where near a romantic setting but the way Harry looks at me when we’re alone makes everything fade away.

He was excellent at keeping me calm and helping me sober up. After he took me back to my place to rest for the night (or the few hours left of it) he went back to his to clean up, leaving me to wake up alone and prepare for this interview.

Sorry, babe, just woke up. Good luck on your interview, I know you’ll kill it so don’t be nervous. Just do what we went over and he’ll love you.

Just as my eyes finish reading over his text, he sends the kissy winky face emoji. My heart swells and I send back a heart to let him know I got it. If it wasn’t for Harry, I’d be a nervous wreck right now so I’m very thankful I have him.

The elevator doors open and I walk up to the receptionist’s desk. She looks up and smiles at me.

“Hi, I’m here for an interview with Jordan Green?” I tell her. She nods and is just about to call him when Jordan himself walks out and sees me.

“Aria, so nice to see you again! Come in, follow me,” he smiles and leads me into his office.

Another thing I have Harry to thank for. A few months ago I had a huge meltdown about how I will go nowhere in life with my so called ‘useless’ degree. My few friends from my program had internships that looked promising and Zayn got requested to do illustrations for some local publishing company. I didn’t tell Harry about it until I started get anxiety attacks and he noticed. He tried to calm me down help me think of possible job options but my confidence in my skills began to deteriorate so in the next few weeks he told me about some of his father’s friends who were looking to hire. And then we had a huge fight because I didn’t want him to find me a job, I wanted me to find me a job. I hated it when Harry had to step in to help me out using his status because it made me feel like a charity case. Harry, of course, didn’t agree and continued to pester me about marketing, graphic design and concept art jobs that were mainly for his father’s company. At one point I think he started making jobs up in his father’s company so they’d appeal to me, but I refused all of them.

Until a few weeks after.

“How was your father?” I asked the morning after he had dinner with his father. I was also invited but I politely declined due to having a midterm exam the next day.

“Good… good…” Harry replied as we moved up a space in the Starbucks line. “He talked a bit about his business friends who are hiring.”

“Oh, here we go again,” I muttered, rolling my eyes. Harry bit back a smirk while I glared at him, not knowing what was so funny about the wrath he was about to face.

“No, of course I told him you weren’t looking for a job,” Harry said like the idea was so ridiculous. This made me frown because I was looking for a job… but I can’t get mad at him because I was the one who’s forcing him to stop helping me. Harry looked at me like he knew he made a point. I narrowed my eyes at him, not liking this.

“Good,” I said.

“So… if you happen to know any of your friends who want to work for Jordan—you remember Jordan, he was at my birthday last year, you talked to him quite a bit?”

My heart dropped.

“Yeah, I remember Jordan,” I said quietly. Oh no, what have I done? Jordan was so nice; I’d love to work for him!

“Yeah, well he’s just looking for, like, an art consultant or something…” Harry said offhandedly. Nooooo.

“An art consultant?”

“Yeah… I told my dad that you might know some people, ‘cause you’re in an art program. So let me know if you think of anyone, yeah?” he grinned. I followed Harry to the counter as he ordered our drinks, stunned. When we got them and left the shop I stopped.

“Hey!” I said. He looked back at me. “I-I might want to see about this job…”

Harry grinned like the little shit he is. “You what?”

I rolled my eyes. “I might want to work for Jordan. This job sounds cool… Is it too late to do anything about it now?” I asked, starting to feel myself stressing out.

“No! Not at all, in fact let me send Jordan an email right now,” I held Harry’s cup and we walked as he read out what he was typing in his email. “Hello Jordan, hope you’re doing well. Aria has confirmed that she’s available for that interview we were discussing. Here is her email—”

“Hey! You already set up an interview?” I exclaimed.

“Yes,” Harry laughed. “Don’t worry, it’s after grad so you’ll be free. You have like two months to prepare for it.”

I shook my head at him and rolled my eyes but I couldn’t stop the grin spreading on my face. Harry was amazing.

---

My interview ran way longer than I expected. As I exit the building, I see Harry leaning against his car on the edge of the road with his sunglasses on and arms crossed, just looking around. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t allowed to park there.

I grin and run up to him, feeling loose with the relief coursing through me. Harry sees me and stands straight holding his arms out. I run into him and wrap my arms around his neck tightly.

“Hey—”

“I got the job! I got the job! I got the job!” I scream in his ear. He laughs and spins me around before pulling back to look at my face.

“Knew you’d get it, babe,” he says, pressing a kiss to my lips. He pulls back and rests his forehead against mine as we both smile at each other. I press another kiss to his lips.

“Thank you thank you thank you,” I chant, pressing more and more kisses all over his face.

“Hey, now, I didn’t do the interview for you,” he chuckles.

“No, but you got me the interview. I got the interview because of you,” I argue. Harry cups my cheeks in his hands.

“No, actually. That was also you. Jordan emailed my father to get in touch with me so he could ask about you. He wanted you to work for him. I guess that time you met him really left a good impression.”

I look at him in shock. Jordan had sought me out specifically?

“Still,” I say, shaking my head. “You’re the angel who made it happen. If it wasn’t for you and your father I wouldn’t have gotten this job, so shut up and let me kiss you,” I demand.

“Well you can always do that—” I break off his sentence by pulling him in for a deep kiss and pouring out all the love I have for him. We completely shut the world around us out as we get lost in each other. Until someone slams a hand on Harry’s car.

“Hey!” A man in a uniform calls out to us rudely. “You can’t park here.”

“Oh sorry, we’re leaving right now,” Harry apologizes.

---

Everyone is happy for me because I was sort of the last one to get a job. Julia already had something her father set up for her, as did Harry. Zayn got the illustrating job and Louis and Niall were going to grad school, so they had some more time.

Julia called the boys to come over to ours for a small celebration. It wasn’t a party, just friends hanging out while we can before we go our separate ways.

Our university was one of the best so Niall and Louis were lucky to get into our grad programs. They will both be moving into an apartment together. Julia and Harry will be working downtown because that’s where their father’s companies are. So far, Zayn is staying where he is but he might move if he gets a higher position (not for a while thought).

“Hey, mate, why don’t you move in with Niall and I?” Louis shouts to Zayn.

“Oh, no, won’t you guys be too far?” Zayn asks.

“Isn’t the publishing company downtown?”

“Like twenty minutes away…”

“Well that’s where we’re looking for a place too! We can’t find any good two bedrooms, but there was one offer for three bedrooms and it’s close to downtown!”

“Yeah, come on Zayn! It’s the closest and nicest place we’ve found to our uni. Move in with us so we can get the bigger apartment,” Niall coaxes.

It doesn’t take much to convince Zayn. I watch the exchange with a small grin. I’m really happy all of us are staying so close together.

“Brilliant. We can play video games easier now. And we won’t have Niall to distract us as much seeing as he’ll probably be here all the time,” Louis jokes.

Oh, another big thing. Julia and Liam didn’t really last. They dated for a good eight months before breaking it off. While Liam was a really good match for Julia (handsome, wealthy, intelligent) and he practically kissed the ground she walked on—he wasn’t the one for her. After Julia and Harry broke up, she had a completely different approach to how she did everything. She was visibly trying harder to be herself and to be honest and genuine. I think she felt like her relationship with Liam wasn’t genuine but more superficial. And seeing Harry and I together added to that so she broke up with Liam. They still talk sometimes, and for a few weeks after he tried to win her back but Julia was insistent that he will find someone who loves him more than she did.

The Julia that I knew my whole life had her nose in the air and walked like she was a goddess only good enough for men she deemed worthy (men who had a high status, were good-looking and had a promising future). The Julia that came out of her relationship with Liam was not that. Suddenly, she didn’t care about being all prim and proper, and what someone’s social status was. She initiated the flirting with guys at bars, though she still held some standard and didn’t let it go further than a one-night stand.

This new Julia was more vivacious and fun to be around, which made it easier for the others to finally get along with her. And that’s how Harry, Louis, Zayn and I walked in on them having sex in the living room of the boys’ house while the rest of us were out.

Harry and I were both extremely shocked—me because I used to joke that I would judge Julia if she went for someone like Niall, and Harry because he couldn’t believe his ex-girlfriend and best friend would be sleeping together.

When Niall and Julia met us in the kitchen, clothed and red-faced, Harry lunged at Niall and nearly beat him but we held him back.

“What the hell were you thinking?!” he shouted at Niall when he embarrassedly admitted that him and Julia were basically friends with benefits.

Harry and Julia maintained a civil relationship after their breakup. It was a little awkward sometimes with the three of us in the house, especially in the mornings when Harry would emerge from my room shirtless, instead of hers like he used to. But they were both mature adults, and this new Julia was happier and better at letting things go so she actively tried to avoid making things awkward. But right now it seemed like Harry wasn’t as mature as we thought.

“Look, mate, I’m sorry!” Niall apologized, trying to block Harry’s punches. I pushed Harry back and placed myself directly in front of him so he would stop.

“Aria—move!”

“No, Harry, stop this!”

“How long has this been going on?” Harry growled.

“Like… two months now…?” Julia answered. Harry pinned his glared on Niall again.

“How dare you—”

“What?!” Julia yelled back, defending herself and Niall.

“He’s my best friend, how could he be sleeping with my ex without even asking me how I feel about it!”

“You are not being serious right now,” Julia deadpanned. Her icy glare startled him into silence. “Harry—how can you not see how hypocritical you’re being! Aria is my best friend and you’re my ex! I don’t even hold a grudge against you guys for being together!”

“But you pushed for us to be together, that’s different! I didn’t even know about—”

“Because you don’t need to! You don’t need know or care about who I sleep with. We’re not dating anymore and you don’t get a say in what I do so I don’t know why you think I’m even obligated to tell you much less ask if you’re okay with it when you’re doing the same thing. And I pushed for you guys to be together because I knew it would make you happy, so why can’t you do the same for me? You two have each other, I have no one. Niall’s been the happiest thing in my life for the first time in a long time, and the fact that you haven’t even noticed that I’ve been happier shows how little you really care about me.”

I admired this new Julia for having a stronger backbone and standing up for what she thinks instead of cowering and apologizing profusely. We all stared at Julia in awe.

“Wait so, are you guys like actually really together?” Louis questioned stunned.

“Well I mean, not like t-together together,” Niall said unsurely. He shyly glances over at Julia who is smiling at him. My heart melts.

“You guys this is so fucking cute,” I said nearly tearing up. “Go get out of here and figure out if you’re together or not because she said you make her the happiest,” I added, pushing them out and forcing them to go be alone and talk away from everyone. They chuckled awkwardly and left while I returned to yell at Harry.

They’re still kind of shy being together around us. Niall throws a pillow at Louis’ head for his comment and we all laugh. Harry apologized to them both privately for lashing out so there was no animosity or hostility between anyone in our group.

I lie back against Harry’s arm that’s wrapped around my shoulder. I watch his face light up as he laughs along to what Louis is saying. He turns to look at me and sees me already looking at him. I smile shyly, since I was caught, and he pulls me in closer to his side. My head is buried in his chest and my arm wraps around his waist as I bask in the warmness spreading through me because of him. Harry kisses the top of my head.

“Y’alright?” he asks.

“Yeah,” I sigh.

“What’s on your mind, love?” he whispers in my hair.

“Just how happy I am,” I look up at him again. “Mainly because of you.”

“I’m happy you’re happy,” he chuckles, stroking my cheek with his other hand.

We don’t say it a lot. I’ve never had anyone to say it to like this, and he didn’t say it all the time to Julia either. But right now there are no truer words to be said.

“I love you,” I murmur.

His eyes light up like they always do when I say that, and my heart skips a beat every time he says it.

“I love you, too,” he replies with shining eyes.

***

Okay now THAT is the official end. :(

I’m sorry if for some of you it feels like it ended too soon, but for me the end was always going to be when Harry and Aria get together. And trust me when I say I dragged the shitttt out of this fic. At some point around chapter 7 is when their feelings should have naturally gotten stronger (in my opinion) but I really wanted to keep writing more so I tried to stretch it out and I could see everyone saying “Harry HAS to know he loves Aria now!” which is true haha!! He did! He just wasn’t ready to accept it, I guess? And I thought about getting Zayn and Aria to date but both are too mature to do something petty like that to get Harry’s attention. Ugh I wrote these characters too mature, next time they’ll be dumber so we can have more drama.

But there we go everyone gets a happy ending :)

Not sure if anyone is interested, but I do have another fic I’m working on. It’s still a long way from even having the first chapter posted but if you want, look out for that! It’s going to be dark Harry actually, I’m quite surprised my first completed fic was a fluffy uni au. I’ve always been very into darker and supernatural themes and I love Harry when he’s not nice lol.

Thank you again to everyone who read this fic and shared their thoughts with me! You guys have made this so fun and fulfilling. On days I felt the lowest, I’d come on Tumblr or Wattpad and see notifications on this fic and it would make me so happy, please never stop commenting and letting authors know what you think! It really helps more than you think! Love you all <3

[yetanotherbuffyblog]

Stuck in the house

It’s Exterminating Angels but with Buffy.

The gist of it is this: Buffy has a birthday party with all of her friends (you think she’d know better), also inviting a friend from work, and Anya and Xander took the liberty of inviting a guy friend hoping that he and Buffy hit it off. Spike’s not supposed to show up, but he does anyway, bringing a poker buddy. But ohes noes! They get stuck in the house! None of them can manage to make themselves go to the door.

Long and short of it is that Dawn had a meeting with a school counselor earlier that day, to discuss her life and why her grades are dropping, and Dawn admits that she’s been feeling as if no one cares about her anymore, and no one sticks around, especially not Buffy who hasn’t been paying that much attention to her. She wishes people wouldn’t leave her. And whoops! Turns out the school counselor is actually Anya’s friend Halfrek, a vengeance demon, who grants Dawn’s wish!

Also in this episode it comes out that Dawn’s been shoplifting. Which Anya, being a hardcore capitalist, doesn’t take too kindly to. Buffy seems more shocked that this is going on and she didn’t know.

Notes!

-Xander’s pretty open about how the wooden chest he’s giving to Buffy as a gift is meant to hold weapons. Mind you, it’s not unheard of for someone to be a weapons enthusiast; I have swords in my room too. But it’s a little out there as a hobby, especially when they invited a guy there to hit it off with Buffy.

-They try to pass off Spike’s demon friend as having a skin condition, which weirds out Richard. He does work out that it’s not really a skin condition though after a day or so in the house with him.

-Buffy was going to work out that Dawn was shoplifting sooner or later; she notices that the gift Dawn gave her still had the anti-theft tag on it, and the subject is changed before she can do much about it. 

-Is Anya claustrophobic? Did we know this already?

-Tara’s still the only one who knows about Spike and Buffy, and she kind of puts a lot of crap on Spike because of it? And it’s great? She keeps making snide comments and coming to Buffy’s rescue when he has her cornered and seems to be trying to have sex with her at the party (in seculded parts of the house).

-TV Tropes points out that Richard, Xander’s work friend, is actually wearing a red shirt? I thought the guy was dead as soon as he walked in. And he does get slashed by a demon with a sword. But he doesn’t die! So that’s good.

-There’s a demon with a sword. It doesn’t really contribute anything other than adding more tension to the Plot with a thing actually trying to kill them in the house. Which is fine, I guess; I suppose an episode where the only tension is that the people can’t leave the house is a bit too experimental and artsy for the audience that this show usually goes for.

-Willow turns out to have some extra magic supplies that she didn’t get rid of, that Tara uses; but while that kind of thing sounds like she’s been using it without telling anyone, it does seem that she really was saving them in case there was something she needed to use magic for. And when Anya asks her to do magic, Willow refuses, because she’s unsure if she could ever stop. And Tara commends her for that, which is good! So great to see this character progression!

-I’ve been pretty defensive of Dawn, I think, but this episode happens and I could totally see why a lot of the audience didn’t like her. Yes, she’s a teenager under a lot of stress, but she’s shoplifting, stealing for people and screwing over retail workers. And then constantly complaining that people aren’t paying attention to her, when the rest of the cast are college-aged, Buffy just came back from being dead, and Willow is a recovering addict. AND Dawn does have school friends too.

-Hey, remember when there was a shoplifting subculture here on Tumblr? Okay, it’s probably still around here somewhere, but I hate it.

-Spike and Halfrek… know each other?? This is apparently a shout-out/canonization of a fan theory because Halfrek’s actress is Spike’s love interest in the flashback that shows him as a human before he became a vampire, and maybe implies that it was before she was a demon. TV Tropes also tells me that the timeline doesn’t match up, but there’s some timeline material that fixes this.

-You know, with everyone being stuck at home... this episode is weirdly relevant now.

[liw-the-melancholic-apple]

How it may have gone - Humble beginnings

I realise that noone read part one. But i got 15 parts on my computer, so i'll just upload them...

James, Sirius, Remus and Peter are a bunch of things. But mainly they're teenagers. In their 6th year the political climate in the magical community gets colder and conflict is near inevitable. At hogwarts that leads to more animosity between some of the students. But it also bands some together.

Another prefect in the group doesn't seem like a good idea on paper, but it turns out that the soap opera aspects of high school as well as the downsides of wizardry are better faced with Friends. The more the merrier.

Masterlist

Two: Making contact

It had been at the same time a long and a short night. Long because I spent hours and hours discussing my visit to Dumbledore’s office with my best friends Chloe and Milla in the Common Room and started all over again when Chloe’s boyfriend Magnus and his mates Crick and Joe showed up. Short because when I finally went to bed I already heard the birds chirping. 

No surprise then, that I was anything but willing to get out of my bed when Milla carefully hit me with her pillow stating that breakfast had already begun. That wasn’t unusual. Since first year Milla, Chloe, Blair, Nica and I went downstairs just in time to have breakfast and had to the first class of the day. I didn’t see any reason to get up early just so I could hang out in the common room an half hour before going to first period. Especially if you could spend that half hour sleeping in your warm and comfortable bed.

“Like it’s started a while ago”, Nica added and I opened my eyes. Unhappy and grumpy I got out of bed already missing it and stumbled into the bathrooms on the other side of the dorm. I took a quick shower that woke me up somewhat and halfheartedly brushed my teeth.

Uniform and ties in place I fished my robes off my chair standing at the group of study desks in the middle of the round dorm, checked for the yellow badge and threw them on. Hair pulled in my signature topbun and dark lipstick applied, I collected all the books and parchment I needed for the day to store them in my torn up but deeply loved grey and black fabric backpack. I had found it at a market in Portugal the summer before my third year and used it for everything ever since.

Chloe and Blair were still in the bathroom getting ready, so I opened a window to check the temperature. It was the first week of November and autumn had really arrived. It wasn’t cold but it wasn’t warm either and a fine mist of rain fell. I quickly closed the window again and went to the big ebony wardrobe beside my ebony bed with mustard yellow velvet curtains. 

I found my dad’s old leather coat that I had begged him to let me take to school in September and threaded it through one of the backpack straps. I knew that I was going to spend some time outside throughout the day and didn’t want to risk a cold. Thinking of my time spent out in the grey I checked the little front pocket of my bag and found the silver case and zippo. 

We left the common room together with Magnus and two random very stressed first years, breathed in the pancake and freshly baked role air that evaporated from the kitchens and took the short hike up the stairs to the Great Hall. 

Just as I was about to land on the ground floor of the castle leaving the stairs someone called my name followed by: “Skip the step!” I instantly scanned my surroundings to figure out whether I was still half asleep and had wandered off to the southern staircase to the third floor, where the trick step is located, when I saw Potter and Pettigrew laughing hysterically leaned against one of the pillars in the foyer.

Right, that happened. It was far too early for that kind of shenanigans. I still wasn’t awake enough to deal with people. “It’s far too early for that kind of shenanigans”, I mumbled as we passed them entering the Great Hall.

“Oh, come one, De Witt”, Potter moaned following me and my friends inside. “I thought we were partners in crime now. You can’t just go back to hating us!” I smelled coffee and walked quickly towards my house table, grabbed the biggest cup I could find and filled it with the wonderful liquid energy. Turning around I took a big sip of it. It was still too early for shenanigans with Potter but I felt better armed with the cup.

“I don’t hate you, Potter”, I said leaning against the table. “Or you”, I added looking at Pettigrew. 

“Why are you so grumpy then?”, Pettigrew looked at me with a weirdly suspicious expression.

“I’m not particularly grumpy. I’m just not a morning person”, I explained when a raisin roll was waved in front of my face. “General rule is to only speak when absolutely necessary until about ten”, Milla explained after I had taken the roll. She pulled me onto the bench next to Crick, where I sat still facing the two Gryffindors and not my plate. I swung one of my legs to the other side of the bench when Potter sounded a lot happier in saying: “So, if we tell you to skip the step after first period you’ll find it hilarious again?”

“Well, maybe not hilarious. But I could appreciate it.”

“Deal!” The pair turned around and left the Hall again. I finally sat down the way you’re supposed to sit at a breakfast table and started munching on the delicious raisin roll, some pumpkin juice and yoghurt. 

“Partners in crime?”, Crick raised one eyebrow ridiculously high.

“I think he’s exaggerating a bit”, I shrugged.

“But I did admit to being on his side in the whole thing. Even if I didn’t necessarily mean for him to know…”

“So, they are your friends now and are going to hang around a lot?”, Nica asked, eyes trailing off into nothing, a vague smile on her lips.

“Ah! Snap out of it, will you?”, Magnus snapped his fingers in front of her face. “He is head over heels in love with Lily and that won’t change any time soon.”

“Yeah, I know. But a girl can dream, can’t she?”, Nica hit him against the chest.

“Wait, that’s genuine affection?”, Blair got in on the conversation. “I thought he just played a really long con prank on her. Trying to see when she’d snap”, she explained looking a little confused.

“Nah”, Crick laughed to himself. “It has to be genuine. He just isn’t himself around Lily. Not as smooth as he usually is.” 

We had to take their word for it. My time with Potter and his band of pranksters was limited to the meals and since we didn’t exactly run in the same circles we usually didn’t speak. Sure, being prefects and all I did regularly see Remus – an Lily Evans for that matter – but we rarely did night shifts or stuff like that interhouse and interyear. So, we didn’t talk all that much.

Crick and Magnus on the other hand were sixth years just like Potter and had a bunch of classes with him. Their expertise was definitely bigger than ours.

“Do you not talk to your sister?”, Magnus continued toward Blair. “She must know.” Blair’s sister was a sixth year Gryffindor and good friends with Lily Evans.

“Well, yeah I do. But neither mine nor Marlene’s lives revolve around Potter. However much he’d like to believe that”, she laughed.

“And I don’t think she and Lily have picked up on him acting differently around them. For all I know they can’t understand why he won’t just let it go.”

“Maybe we should just tell Lily. Stir the pot a bit”, Crick winked at Magnus.

“Potter will kill you.” Crick shrugged and got up. 

“Potions it is”

The sixth years left us to our own devices and strolled to the dungeons.

“Aaaanyways, you’re friends with Potter now?” Nica looked at me all excited. 

“I don’t think so Nic. We might be allies, though. Who knows. But I’m not really expecting him to invite to his birthday party.” Nica sighed and got back to her pancakes.

Milla glanced at her watch an notched me with her elbow. I downed the rest of my second coffee and got up with her. We waved at the rest of our friends and made our way out of the Great Hall and to the courtyard doors. I put on my dad’s leather coat and Milla wrapped herself in the biggest scarf I had ever seen, then we went outside and ran over to one of the roofed passage ways.

I flicked open my fancy silver cigarette case as Milla struggled with a wet paper package. We both lit up and inhaled the deathbringing smoke with content expressions. If I’m honest, we were a bad influence on one another at times. I had gotten her into smoking when she came on holiday with my family last summer, who had just found out that I had started. On the other hand, when I met her I had been an absolute morning person but her late night talks and antics had changed that over time. 

We were comparing our mugglestudies-answers of the test we had the day before for the 100th time when a knowing smirk appeared on Milla’s fine porcelain features as she focused on something somewhere behind me. I turned around and found Remus and Black the elder walking toward us smoking as well. Milla’s smirk widened a bit when both boys examined us with puzzled looks, clearly hung up on the cigarettes.

“Would ya look at that”, Black said finally. “We’re already rubbing off on goodie-two-shoes. It’s not even been twenty-four hours. You’re showing potential, Goodie.”

“Goodie-two-shoes?”, Milla’s fair eyebrows disappeared into her fine fringe.

“That’s what they called me yesterday because I didn’t know about the buzzing triangle”, I explained and she nodded. 

“Right, in the waiting room.”

“Have you already disclosed all our secrets?”, Remus asked grinning.

“I wasn’t aware that they were secrets.” We were just about to get into a discussion on the definition of secrets and the unwritten rules regarding them, when Black interrupted us:”Remus, are just gonna ignore the fact the she smokes? After one half evening with us, that she didn’t even spend talking to us?” Milla flew into a fit of laughter at his ego and I couldn’t help but chuckle myself.

“I don’t actually think that that’s our doing, Pads”, Remus answered grinning even wider.

“But she’s a rule-loving know-it-all prefect, for Merlin’s sake! How can she be smoking?”

“I’m sorry if I messed with your world view, Black, but as far as I can tell Remus is a know-it-all and prefect, too, and you’re not complaining about his smoking.”

“Cause he isn’t all that crazy about rules”, he explained, annoyed tone in his voice as if to say that that was obvious.

“Who said Jette is?”, Milla countered extinguishing her cigarette and pulling on my arm to get me to go in. We didn’t wait for an answer and just waved them good-bye in synchrony before we hurried to get to Charms class.

“So much for not going to hang out with them”, Milla snorted when we were back in the foyer. 

“That was two conversations before first period. Is that more in one hour than in the last four years?” I thought on that for a moment.

“Not counting the last two months and Remus, yes.” 

Milla snorted again and imagined how much Nica would freak out if she told her about that development and the growing chances of her spending time with James Potter. I was still sceptical about that.

Nica wasn’t. She instantly made plans to engage and entrap Potter in a conversation about Quidditch and the upcoming match of Ravenclaw against Gryffindor that was only ten days away. Milla and Blair got into it with her, although they seemed to enjoy Nica’s excitement more than the idea of talking to the Gryffindor Captain.

I let them chatter away and decided to pair up with Chloe for the practical part of Charms class. Semi-focused we conjured vague images of our holidays, as instructed by Professor Flitwick, not really succeeding at creating livelike holograms, while discussing the last and the next Hogsmeade weekend.

The houseteachers had finally given in and made the whole weekend available for trips to the village rather than just the Saturday which meant that Chloe didn’t have to choose between spending the day with us or her oh-so-lovely Magnus. The second weekend of October she had opted to go to the Broomsticks with us on Saturday first, then do some good old shopping-therapy and do some cheesy couple stuff with Mag on Sunday. The next Hogsmeade weekend was this week and coincided with their one year anniversary. It was obvious that she really wanted to just spend every single minute with Mag but she was too polite to say it. 

“I mean I could do some last minute giftshopping on Saturday with you and then go for a romantic lunch with him on Sunday, right?”

“You already got all the presents you can possibly give him, Chloe. Just ask him to block the entire weekend for you and wander through the crisp November air snuggling up to his side, when the wind gets too brisk and find a quiet spot to snog 36 hours straight. None of us will blame you for it.”

“You’re impossible!” She screamed waving her wand carelessly, sharpening up her hologram that showed her and Mag at some Cabana barely wearing any clothes and kissing passionately. I immediately stopped caring about her weekendplans and started interrogating her about that image – and all it implicated – as she quickly let the hologram disappear looking to her feet.

“Oh. My God!”, Milla squealed very atypically on our way to lunch, when Chloe confessed her very grown up escapades of the last summer holiday to her, Blair and Nica. Joe had wisely found other people to talk to but kept looking over at our reactions from which he probably deduced exactly what Magnus and Chloe had been up to over the break. And – as we learned now – the past two months in the castle. 

“You did not sneak around in broom closets!”, I yelped overdrawn scandalised expression on my face, channelling my grandmother when she heard people had kids without being married.

“Shhhhhh!”, Chloe definitely already regretted telling us but we had the time of our lives thinking out loud where she could have found the perfect spot to sleep with Magnus without being found out by us, Filch or any other students and teachers. 

Although she was terrified by the conversation and knew that we’d only stop when she told us, she kept it a secret, earning a lot sighs and outrageous theories. To be honest, I wasn’t all that interested in the place she’s found – I doubted that I would have need for it in the foreseeable future – but I didn’t dare ask her how it actually was. And I guessed that the other three girls felt the same. 

We usually talked about everything during Milla’s aforementioned night-time talks, that left me a mess in the mornings. No secrets. And up until now we’ve always been brutally honest with each other. Did it take us a couple of week to admit we liked someone to the others? Yes, of course it did. But we confessed it eventually. The same was true for random snogging, holiday flirts and more serious subjects like where we stood on the whole bloodpurity thing or the passing of grandparents, aunts and uncles. We were really, really honest with each other.

And in none of those really, really honest conversations had any of us mentioned to not being a virgin anymore. I reckoned we all were dying of curiosity but for once found ourselves to embarrassed to admit to it. So, we kept busy torturing Chloe a bit more by getting louder and louder as we theorised about her secret hiding spot until we walked down the staircase to the foyer and the Great Hall and there were too many people to guarantee discretion. 

Nica gave Joe the Okay-sign and he nodded but stayed with Irving, his Quidditch teammate. If it hadn’t been for Irving I might have made the team. I had tried out for Beater ever since second year and every year Irving and Milla bested me. Milla was an absolute ace and there was no way anybody would ever get her out of the team. No way in hell. Irving wasn’t that accurate with the bludgers but he had a great eye which meant that even if he didn’t aim precisely or hit his target he usually rattled the opposing team anyway. I was more precise but I lacked that eye for strategic blows. And at this point Milla and Irving had played together for four years, so, there was that against me, too.

We had just gotten to the middle landing of the two-sided marble staircase in the foyer, when someone shouted: ”Skip the step!” In an unnatural volume. God, they were not going to let that go. In an attempt to just satisfy them and not get sucked into a never-ending running gag I leaped into the air legs as close to a mid-air split as I could manage and landed three steps further down, only shortly losing balance. 

Applause broke from the foot of the stairs where all four members of my newly founded fanclub cheered for me. I overdid a bow in their direction, let my friends catch up and was planning to just go and have lunch but that was not possible anymore.

I should have known that playing along with their little joke would motivate them to further involve me in their what-ever-they-were-doing and I most definitely should have known that Nica would not pass up this chance to entrap Potter in Quidditch talk. Stupid me, had I not gotten carried away with the silly step I would already be slurping my chili. 

“Hey, you were right”, Pettigrew smiled widely at Milla. “She’s more fun after ten.” Milla gave him a warm smile back.

“You said you’d appreciate the joke, you even denied finding it hilarious”, Potter yelled. “And then you come through like that!” He pulled me into an unexpected hug.

“Very Cirque du Soleil”, commented Remus friendly nodding to the rest of my gang acknowledging their existence.

“Ah, I was going for Nutcracker of Swan Lake”, I sighed. 

“Just as well”, Remus allowed and we both had to laugh at the confused faces of Potter, Black, Blair and Chloe who had never heard any of those terms.

“Seems we need to hand in a motion to update the mugglestudies curriculum”, Milla commented now grinning.

Nica completely ignored our little discussion of ballet and repeatedly kicked me against the bend of my knee. 

“Ouch! Well, guys, do you actually know each other?”, I complied fairly awkwardly gesturing between the Gryffindor boys and Hufflepuff girls.

“I’m Nica!”, Nica extended her hand towards Potter as enthusiastically as humanly possible. I had to work hard not to burst into laughter and met Blacks eyes as I did so. He struggled, too. I raised a finger to my lips and he gave me quick nod, then we both straightened out.

“James”, Potter said, not the least bit surprised by Nica’s excitement and shook her hand elegantly.

“And that’s”, he continued, “Remus, Peter and Sirius.” He pointed at each one respectively. Hearing someone refer to them by their first names was odd. I mean, I knew they had them, but the student body had silently agreed to refer to them by their last names or “Potter and his lot”. I assumed it had to do with the fact that they were called to McGonnagal’s or Dumbledore’s office at least once a week, always by their last names. It just sounded more familiar. 

I only started calling Remus Remus, after we met in the prefects’ cart the last September first and he introduced himself as Remus. Had we not seen each other regularly at the prefect meetings though, he would have still stayed Lupin forever.

Nica shook everybody’s hand and looked at me eyes open wide, chin pointing to Blair. I took the hint.

“Ehm, now then, James, Remus, Peter and Sirius meet Chloe, Blair and Milla.” I followed Potter’s example and pointed them out. What followed was a very weird and very formal shaking of hands and mumbled hello’s.

“Oh, wait, wow, your voice sounds so familiar.” Potter kept holding Blair’s hand, much to Nica’s disliking. But other than looking annoyed she remained calm.

“Have we talked before?”, Potter asked looking at her, clearly trying to place her face, but he couldn’t.

“I…no”, Blair wasn’t comfortable with his attention or his holding her hand still.

“But a lot of people say that I sound just like Marlene, so maybe that’s what got you?” She suggested and Potter’s face, as well as the other boys’ lit up again.

“A lot of people are absolutely right! You sound just like her. That is unbelievable. Didn’t think it was possible.” Black rambled sending all of us into heartfelt laughter. 

 “What?”, he then asked, eyes narrowed, focussing on each one of us.

“The only difference between your voice and Regulus’ is that you sound just a bit hoarse all the time!”, Chloe practically screamed and laughed again.

“That and your attempt to hide the posh accent”, I expanded her answer still giggling but his quite happy face had changed at that last comment to a somewhat brooding state.

“Sorry?”, I tried to get him back to his annoyingly loud natural state. I didn’t succeed exactly but he waved his hand dismissingly. I did not miss the look Remus and Potter exchanged at my comment and his gesture but I knew better than to say something. Clearly, none of my business.

Nica had just opened her mouth, when Blair cut her off:” Have you already been to lunch or are you still going?”, she looked at Pettigrew.

“Still going.”

“What are we waiting for, then? I’m starving!” Chloe grabbed Milla with one hand, Remus with the other and in doing so successfully moved all of us towards the hall.

We sat down at our respective tables without really talking – or entangling – which caused Nica to hit Blair and then Chloe over the head with her Charms workbook.

“What?”, they both said in the exact same tone, causing some other classmates to look over to us.

“Had you not could have waited five more minutes before dragging us here? I didn’t have chance to start my Quidditch plan!” You had to admire her determination and passion.

“Oh, I had completely forgotten that over Chloe…”, Blair blushed a little, shooting an apologetic look at Nica.

“I’m sure you’ll get another chance to set that plan in motion, Nic. If you just hang around Jette. I don’t think they’re gonna let that whole step-thing go any time soon.” 

I blew out some air but didn’t say anything. 

When I was getting up to maybe go take a nap before the afternoon classes, I noticed some waving at the table right next to ours. Both, Remus and Black tried to get my attention. Once they realised they had it Black pulled out a box of matches and Remus pointed at the door.

Why not? I thought to myself.

“Milla, you done yet?

“Hmhm” She gulped down her pumpkin juice in record time and stuffed the last two potatoes into her mouth, nearly choking in the process, but grabbed her giant scarf and bag nonetheless. I turned back to the still gesturing boys and nodded, rolling my eyes.

We met up with not only Remus and Black, but also Pettigrew and Potter at the head of our table and headed towards the foyer, when Nica grabbed my arm and forced herself between me and Milla. The both of us exchanged a very amused look, both telling the other that we had no idea her crush on Potter was this big.

We rushed to the passage way we had already been in the morning to escape the still misty rain and cold wind. It turned out that the entire Gryffindor gang smoked, something that was entirely new to me, but not at all surprising and absolutely not changing my view of the world. I smiled to my backpack as I put away my case. 

Potter offered Nica a smoke and I could see her wrestling herself.

“Nica doesn’t smoke, she just likes the change of scenery to clear her head”, Milla said before I had even thought of something. 

“But, thanks, anyway.” Nica smiled up at Potter who couldn’t help but smile back. Her smile always reached her small, almond shaped freakishly yellowish-green eyes, which turned her normally strict seeming face in the most friendly and inviting one you’ve ever seen. It’s infectious. Which is very annoying when you’re trying to be mad at her.

“Any particular reason you’ve nearly broken your arms to get us here?”, I asked, then lit the zippo and consequently Milla’s and my cigarettes.

“Can’t we just enjoy your lovely company?”, Black said, eyes darting to Nica and Potter, then back to me as he wiggled his eyebrows. I rolled my eyes again.

“Of course you can. Just seems unlikely”, I countered.

“Well, there are two particular reasons for us to just enjoy your company right now.” Remus inhaled way to much smoke and calmly blew it out before he went on talking. “First, I’d like to know when your last class of the day is.”

“Why?”, Nica said now wiggling her own eyebrows. Remus blushed ever so slightly.

“Because Jette and I are supposed to report to Madam Pince for detention immediately after class. I was thinking it’d be more fun if we would arrive and work together”, with that last sentence his eyes had found mine again. 

“Right, that. More fun. Uhhhhmm. I think I’m done after potions.” Milla confirmed. “So, I’m off at around 15:00.”

“Same. Wanna meet here and mentally prepare before reporting?” I grinned at his choice of words but actually liked the idea of getting one more smoke in before we would organise books for Merlin-knew-how-long.

“And secondly”, Black beamed, “we thought you might like to know what Mulciber and his lot got, after Pince and Hagrid were taken.” His inquisitive eyes on me I nodded: “Of course, I wanna know.”

“They’re headed to the east wing dungeons for a week or”, Black lifted his hands indicating a quote “however long it takes to assist Mr Filch in his endeavour there.”

“There are dungeons in the east wing?”, Nica’s eyes crossed a little while she tried to remember ever having heard about that.

“Yep. It’s mainly storage and stuff like that. I think the archives might be there, too.” All three of us girls made approving noises to Remus’ answer. 

“What’s Mr Filch’s endeavour, then?”, Milla wanted to know.

“He’s organising, tidying up, cleaning and throwing away. And Mulciber gets to help him. Without any kind of magic”, Pettigrew seemed to grow a good three inches as he talked. He either hated Mulciber as much as I did or he simply didn’t like tidying. Maybe both.

“How do you even know all that?”, I finally said.

“We ran into Reg this morning when you had your date with Remus and Sirius that no one invited us to”, Potter smirked. “Slytherin has been up in arms about it ever since last night.”

“Nice. At least they got the worst detention. Gotta take what you can get”, I commented, threw away the butt and looked up at the clock tower.

“Well, then, I see you”, I pointed at Remus, “between 15:00 and 15:10 here this afternoon for detention. I’m off.”

I turned on my heel, grabbed my bag from the ground and walked back towards the castle dreaming of my bed and the half hour that I could lay in it to gather all my strength for detention. I was quite certain that it would be bad. Pince didn’t like me.

♠♠♠

Armed with the biggest smile I possibly ever smiled I entered my dormitory at 15:50. Chloe looked up from her homework that she was doing at her desk in the middle of the room and distorted her pretty face while simultaneously running her quill through her hair, getting it stuck in one of her light brown blow-out curls. Instead of saying whatever she wanted to say to me she made a noise somewhere between annoyance and pain and I walked over to help her untangle the feather.

When we head succeeded she was massaging her scalp with a frown, positively inspecting me.

“Are you seriously ditching your detention?”

That biggest ever smile returned to my face. “No”, I beamed, “I’m already done.” Chloe checked her watch, then the clock on the wall, then looked back at me. “It hasn’t even been an hour” Her voice went up at the end of that statement.

“Still not ditching. Remus and I showed up at the library and Pince told us to put the returned books on her desk back into their shelves and sections. We did that. And then she said she didn’t need any other help today as she needed to let us do something tomorrow.” My smile turned to into a grin and finally Chloe got my point. “He is rather fair. And good at keeping up appearances. Reckon Potter, Pettigrew and the Blacks got a little more to do with Hagrid and from what I heard in potions Mulciber got actual detention with Filch.”

“Right, on paper we all got a week of detention but Remus and I will probably be spending it organising books for no longer than an hour a day, his friends might sit in the hut preparing food for some beast or another and Mulciber can die down in the dungeons going over school records from the last eight centuries.”

I threw myself on my bed in absolute bliss. This day had started mediocre at best and got better and better and better. I looked around the room.

“Where the hell is the rest? I didn’t see them in the common room.”

Chloe sighed. “Milla and Nica are at the pitch."

“Again? They were practicing yesterday, weren’t they?” She nodded.

“Our first game is in December. Sian could take it a little easier. Especially, with this weather.” 

I looked out the window and realised I was very content not being on the quidditch team. The misty rain of this morning had turned into a steady downpour and the wind had also picked up the pace. It wasn’t storming out, but it was cold and windy and wet. Nobody would like to be out there. And yet at least seven of them were, trying to battle the storm and improve their quidditching.

“I think she just really wants to win the cup as Captain”, Chloe put her quill down and let her homework be homework. 

“She was so close last year but got etched out by Gryffindor and next year she won’t be here anymore. The fanatic that she is, she couldn’t stand leaving unsuccessful as Captain.”

“Huh.” She was right. Sian Glassock had been a chaser on the Hufflepuff quidditch team ever since her second year and nobody expected anybody else to take over the title of Captain from Mitch, than her. She was obsessed enough to really motivate the rest but enough of a team player and decent person to not alienate the team. 

I was pretty sure she wanted to go into potionmaking after school, being a winning Quidditch Captain in her last season wouldn’t do a whole lot for her in that, but Chloe had a point in saying that Sian probably couldn’t stand leaving her team without having made them proud and getting them to their best performance. She was such a maniac. But a friendly one. 

“Blair isn’t watching, is she?”, I asked in horror as I noticed the bed to the far right was also empty and Blair’s jacket was nowhere to be seen. She couldn’t be stupid enough to sit in this weather.

“Nah, Marlene wanted something. I think they’re in the Great Hall. Or maybe upstairs in the prefect’s hallway.” 

“Okay, good.” Talking to her sister was better than sitting outside to be cold. And it wouldn’t surprise me at all if the McKinnon girls had chosen the prefect’s hallway to talk in private. We all did that when we needed a space that nobody else would get into.

It seemed to be an unwritten rule among the prefects to just ignore the misuse of our offices or bathrooms. The hallway was just a short corridor with the famous prefect’s bathroom, a storage room, archive, two offices with eight desks each and a fairly cosy conference room.

Every single one of the 16 prefects and all eight head students had access to each of the rooms. So. Theoretically the hallway was nearly as busy as a common room but when someone opened the door and found a group or a pair of people hanging out, they’d just close it again and acted as if nothing happened. Sometimes whoever was in the room would just charm it to either not open without permission or to show a hologram of an empty room, so that one could do exactly what one wanted to do. 

We had been hanging out there a lot after Crick had made prefect. I remembered having had long nights on the conference room’s fluffy, soft couches with all of Crick’s and my dorm…

“The prefect’s conference room!”, I yelled. Chloe gave me a disapproving look because of the volume, then a confused one because of what I had said.

“For instance. Why’s that exciting you?”

“Not Blair. You! And Mag! That’s where you snuck off to, right? Crick gave Magnus the keys. How did I not see that!!?” It was hard to tell but I was pretty sure that Chloe blushed. I was right.

“Let’s see what they’re up to in the common room!”, she avoided actually answering and dragged me to the stairs.

We had barely stepped into the round domed room when Felix waved me over. “Mum wrote”, he said when I had fallen onto the golden-yellow lounge chair at his table. I instantly got a bad conscience. I hadn’t written home once in the two months we had been back at school. I loved receiving letters but I was rubbish at writing them. And with the extra prefect-duties I had this year, my time was too valuable to tell my parents that I had little time to write to them.

 “She’s going shopping in London with Gran next week and wants to know if we need anything”, Felix went on. “Send her your measurements and a list.” He looked me up and down. “Or give them both to me and I’ll send them.”

I leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek, leaving a dark brown lipstick mark on it. “You’re the best! But I don’t think I need anything.” He rubbed his cheek in disgust but he smiled.

“Course I am. Just think about it. I’ll write back Sunday.”

“Do you have a dress for Slughorn’s Christmas Party?”, Chloe asked.

“He hasn’t even announced it yet”, I laughed back.

“Yeah, but you’re gonna be invited, right? You were last year and now that you’re also a prefect you are basically destined to do great things in life and he needs you to remember him once you’ve done them.” I threw the black cushion from my chair at her. 

“There haven’t been any of his dinners yet. Maybe he’s grown tired of that weird club…” Slughorn’s dinners were usually a strange affair. Milla, Blair and I had been invited for the first time last year and found it all very awkward. It was just a group of different students from all houses and years answering questions about their families and plans for life. Granted, the food was excellent and last year’s Christmas party was good fun but those dinners were not for me. I had managed to only go to two out of the four that had happened last year, by pretending Felix was homesick and needed me. 

This year I wouldn’t get to use that excuse, he had already told me he didn’t mind it last year but he also didn’t want his friends to think that he was a wuzz. He had turned thirteen last June and started exhibiting teenage-tendencies when it came to other people’s opinions.

“I don’t think that he’ll ever grow tired of that club. Besides, I quite liked the party last year. Hope he invites Mag again this year.” Chloe wasn’t a member of the stupid club but Magnus was. Promising herbology prodigy, according to my potions master. She got the best of both world’s by dating Mag. Didn’t have to go to the dinners but got to enjoy the lavish Christmas festivities he put on.

“True… But if you go with Mag and I invite Nica we could also all beg our parents for the money and use one of the December Hogsmeade weekends for a dress shopping session.” Chloe swayed her head from left to right with a distant smile on her face.

“That would be nice, too.” 

We hung out with Felix and his third year friends, mainly gossiping about the teachers until the Quidditch team entered the common room, drenched, sneezing and unhappy. Sian looked pretty happy with herself but her bad conscience was very visible. She ushered her team to their respective dorms and ordered them to take good, long, warm showers. Nobody protested.

“Bet you a galleon that Nica is cursing like a sailor and that Joe will be out cold for three days”, Chloe chuckled, before Magnus came by, kissed her and splattered some water of us before heading to his shower.

“Charming”, Felix commented as he wiped his face dry.

[survivor-rotuma]

Ep. 3: “People are coming to me like bees to pollen” - Felix

Felix

I think I am becoming bossy. I should cool down for now and lay low. Don't want to be seen as too big of a threat just yet.

Apollo

IM GAGGING! 6-1? Someone used an extra vote to make sure Thomas wasn’t home? Or he had a vote against him? Idk, idrc I survived the first vote of this game and sis it was stressful but easy. Thomas came on like half an hour before tribal and voted for Bradley without talking to anyone, I’m shook. A trio formed between myself,  Borris and Zest whilst Borris and I were also invited for a foursome with Bradley by Brianna. I’m shaking tbh

Marie

Ok jay, if you wanna here about it buckle up. I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY JUMPING OVER A VOLCANO LIMITS ME FROM TYPING WORDS U G H ID BE GOOD AT THIS ONE BECAUSE I KNOW WAY TOO MYCH ABOUT THE SURVIVORS AND TO QUOTE DEBBIE “AND IM PISSED” , have a good day :)

Lysandre

So the challenge has been posted and it's cute!! I like this challenge because it allows me to think critically and analytically!! I am currently putting in WORK in the challenge but my tribe is flopping lmaoo. I'm trying my best to give them tips and tell them to mimic the common things I'm finding and apply it to their own pairings but something isnt clicking!! Hopefully we can pull out a win!

Lysandre

Can my tribe... do the challenge?? I refuse to go to tribal again but I also don't feel like carrying my tribe in the challenge by doing each one of the pairings extensively.

Flint

I’m glad I was able to sit out of the immunity challenge this week. However I am still feeling our tribe of 6 is actually 4 because I don’t see much interaction from Suzy or Charlie.

Lysandre

At this point I am preparing for tribal council. Jay announced the scores for the challenge and our tribe was down by 30+ points and in last place. An actual alliance (our alliance name) decided to vote David off if we go to tribal again because of his problematic behavior and mean comment to GiGi that he totally didn't say lmaoo. The challenge is basically up I'm ready to forfeit and go right to tribal.

Felix

So Suzy and Charlie do not seem to be contributing at all. This is fine I  guess since it just puts a bigger target on their backs as a result. I am just tired of these useless tribe members. Maybe it'd be better to go to tribal in order to vote them off so that they cannot turn on fellow Tuai members later since they wouldn't have that strong of a connection with us.

Felix

Flint just complimented me on my good work in the challenges. It seems that my challenge performance is being noticed. While this ensures that I will be safe in the majority of pre-merge, it will just paint a target on my back during the merge. Plus, I know I will be no good in these individual immunity challenges so let's see how this goes

Flint

I’m feeling pretty comfortable in the game, which makes me nervous something will happen. Our tribe is doing great in challenges and I have a strong alliance, I’m worried about an impending tribe swap!

David Penn

I am worried i will get voted off if we lost, i've only added like two things because i'm too busy rn.

Brianna

Welp. Late update but the Thomas vote went smooth. Also we won the third challenge so woo!!! Nothing really that new going on. There’s an alliance chat for me, Boris, Apollo and Bradley as well now so that’s...cool. That just leaves zest out for the next vote which I’m not too upset about since she doesn’t talk to me a lot.

Charlie

I'm scared I haven't been participating as much as the others and therefore might be out next. I need to start forming alliances ASAP

Bradley

I feel really bad. I did some of the plots for the spreadsheet but everyone else did more. I was busy with hosting family over for brothers bday i didnt really have time. Im glad we won immunity tho. It probably saved my ass.

Charlie

I think I may just have formed a secure alliance, we'll see though

Marie

This vote seems too easy, everyone except for David knows David is going home, not that I’m complaining one bit

Suzy quits

Kathleen

"Yeah tribal was cancelled but I still need to air my David feelings so this was my voting confessional:

Right. Well. You’re rude, you didn’t help in this challenge and I feel like you may have thrown your part in the last challenge even though you were very adamant that if people were not doing well in challenges they were a target. I do not in a million years feel like I can trust you. And I’m pretty sure it was you who wrote that horrible voting confessional for Gigi. Which was horrible and completely unnecessary by the way. It sounded like a bully. And I hate bullies. Bye, I’d say I’d miss you... but I won’t."

Felix

"Now that we are down one tribe member, it is essential to win this next challenge. Though this does mean that if we were to go to tribal council, Charlie would be the one to leave. We still have that safety blanket, but I am just nervous about what happens after Charlie is voted out. We need to do everything in our power to prevent that situation from happening.

I should have seen the One World twist coming since Jay seems to like it. Either way, the Tuai Quad Alliance LLC has decided that I should be one of the representatives out of the two. This will definitely make me seem like the leader of the tribe now. I just have to watch my back and see what happens. If they are going to perceive me like that, I might was well become it. Let's see how this all pans out."

Raul

Well, David better thank the Survivor Gods because we were for sure gonna vote him out. But alas someone quit, I hope they are ok and all is well. <3 Not looking forward to this one world twist -_-

Felix

I am trying to establish ties with a fair amount of people while we are in the One World. For one, I want to become friends with both Raul and Kathleen. They said they wanted to work with me earlier so hopefully they plan to keep that promise. I also want to see how much I can trust Bradley. I did give him the advantage so maybe I have an ally there. I've also talked to Lysandre a bit and think he's alright. Let's hope I can establish myself socially in this game!

Zest

Today is my birthday and I am so grateful for all of the sweet birthday wishes from everyone.

Felix

I must say that people are coming to me like bees to pollen. They all want to talk to me which makes the most sense since they all want to be social. Though some are better at it than others. I've been getting really good vibes from Lysandre, Kathleen, Apollo, and Marie. In that order. They just seem like good people. Also, Marie is 13!? Shook! I did gather some intel though from these people. Apparently, on Mea, David is at the bottom for being a rude-ass and being abrasive. That means if I am on a tribe with David, he will definitely be a target which might help later down the line. Marie is also very upfront and blunt. She asked me immediately "Who is on the bottom of your tribe?" Like girl. Be subtle. I'm not giving info out that easily so I just said no one even though it is clearly Charlie. Everyone on Mea though has mentioned this "bitch" who's on the bottom for being rude. It's David. I'm just so shook that they all are giving out this information that easily. It didn't take long for Marie to start spilling everything to me. She could be valuable as a rat later down the line so long as I don't tell her too much. Though she has said that her tribe really likes me for some reason. I am definitely rising as a leader for the game and will have a target on my back. Though it's great to finally have social ties that could carry me to merge.

Felix

Apollo mentioned working together. As in, if we ever worked together then that should be our alliance name (Club 96). Interesting proposal right there lol

Lysandre

This one world twist was cute until I came to the conclusion that I was playing the game with someone I had blocked and deleted and never wanted to play with ever again. I can see right through his alias and I literally want to will my idol off and quit. And I was really liking his alias until I started seeing connections and speech pattern.. yeah this is really ugly.

Flint

TWIST!! I knew the feeling in my guy was right. I was feeling too secure and now I have no idea what’s going on.

Marie

God knows what jay has planned as long as no volcanos are involved

Felix

Marie is being very pushy. I mean so I am but I like to think I am endearing. I think she is going to be pretty annoying for the rest of tribe so maybe she'll be the next up. Definitely don't want to be on her side.

Brianna

One world. New people. One survivor. Anyways. Marie is cool. But um. I’m tired and don’t feel like getting all these notifications from the one world chat but I also can’t mute it so ughhhh.

Felix

Cassie is just spilling all to me. She has an advantage that allows her to see how many alliance chats someone from the other tribe is rocking. That is such a useful tool. Especially late into pre-merge right before merge. I think it'll be really cool to fool her into using it. I hope she doesn't use it on me if we are ever on different tribes. Now, at least, I know that Cassie is loyal to me since hse is sharing all these details. Apollo is getting antsy that no one from his tribe will be a leader. I'm trying to convince it'll be fine, but he's not having it. He jsut has to trust me and then we can move on from there.

Lysandre

So Marie is actually Marie that's nice to know even though she wasn't supposed to do that ajdjdjsjs. And that impacts the game drastically because people are going to put their trust in her more now that they know she isn't a returnee. It is even having this round effects because she is about to be a leader. Deny the affects if yiu wabt but they definetely exist.

Lysandre

For the sake of Lysandre I am going to continue this game and act like I don't know who Felix is. Lysandre doesnt deserve to have their existance cut short especially considering the fact that they have an idol. They deserve all the love and support.

Dumbass bitch number 1 (Marie)

"To the tune of jeopardy:

Do do do do do do do, do do do do do, do dodododo, do do do dodo do do do, do do do do do do do, do do do do do do do, do do do do do, do dodododo do do do dodo do do do, DO, do do do do do do."

Lysandre

Moving forward in the game I, lysandre, would love to align with Felix in company with an actual alliance.

Boris

PSA: i love Jay

Volcano bitch

I love you jayyyy

Zest

Jay, sorry you are having a rough time getting home. sending good vibes your way.

Cassie

So, here's the thing. I love the vibe with my tribe and the alliance of Tuai Quad. I believe in them, but I know it could be a good idea to keep my options open and form new alliances too. A tri-leader alliance? Oh yeah. Only time will tell what I do with the information I get.

Felix

Another alliance chat down! Woohoo! This one is with Marie, Kathleen, Raul, Lysandre, and I. It's called Drama Bitches. This alliance I feel pretty good about but I do feel on the bottom since I am not from their tribe

Felix

To follow up, I have been positioning myself with people socially very well. It seems that everyone wants to be my friend and that everyone likes me. It will definitely be hard betraying them, but it has to be done. I need to put myself in the least risk out of everyone here in order to make it to the end. I feel I have done that. If people are going to be inactive now, then they must be the next on the chopping block. I hope everything goes well from here. Especially since I have connections on all three tribes. It should keep me safe in case of a swap

Felix

"It seems my socializing has paid off! Firstly, I was chosen as leader for one of the new tribes. I got to choose people for my new tribe that I would be making. I definitely saw this coming, so it was good that I was able to choose them myself. I feel confident with my new tribe. Everyone, except Boris, I have talked to at least once so that'll help. I think I have picked people that enable me to have power over everyone else if I play my cards right. How I see it: I have aligned with Joey, Lysandre, and Rual. I have talked a bit with Zest, and Boris I am just getting to now. I have talked extensively with Apollo. He and I have bonded really well. Perhaps that will keep me safe for the time being. Mainly why I picked the people I did is to have easy boots earlier on (Zest and Boris) and to have people I'm already aligned with be with me (Joey, Raul, and Lysandre). I definitely do think I have picked a good tribe though.

Secondly, my socializing has paid off in terms of immunity. I definitely saw myself having a bunch of connections, but I didn't know it amounted to being the most popular. I think, socially, I have positioned myself well. Now I just got to keep this momentum up in order to succeed! Hopefully, everyone I am aligned with makes it to merge. It might be hard for Flint since he is on vacation. In hindsight, I should have picked him since it would be easier to explain his situation if I was there. I hope he doesn't get a target on his back for being inactive tonight! I think that they might vote out David since he is annoying. I told Cassie and Flint this, so maybe they can use that to their advantage.

Finally, I think this might paint a huge target on my back. People are going to know I am very well-liked by a lot of people. If they carry that information with them, they could use it against me. That'll be a problem for later. Plus, I have an idol to fall back on in case that does happen. Overall, it is going extremely well for Felix Rodriguez!"

Really dumb bitch (Marie)

I just realized I’m a threat, and now I’m lowkey panicking because I just made a plan with some people about how we get to a merge with a majority and now I’m scared that they’ll see me as a strategic and social target because everyone I’ve talked to I’ve been able to persuade. Let’s hope I’m not the Michaela of this game and get voted out cause I’m to strategic

Marie

The second this tribe swap happened I already had so many plans and I’m scared that people might want me out because no one wants to sit with someone who started making moves the second they could?? I done fucked up

Brianna

Well new tribe. I’m pretty okay with the set up tho. Me and Marie have really clicked and we went to talking strategy right away. I’m glad Bradley is here. He isn’t on that much but he will probably vote with me. And Kathleen was another person I got to talk to a lot and she’s from original mea with Marie so that’s good. Haven’t gotten to talk to flint or Charlie. And. Talking with Cassie is just. It’s so dry so far....

Charlie

So the tribe just merged, I've formed a new alliance and I'm super excited to see where it goes haha. Feeling a bit nervous about tribal council however since it is my first one. But I feel confident I won't be voted out just yet

Felix

I have created "The Gold Alliance" with Lysandre and Raul. They have both given me permission to add Joey to the alliance chat. I wanted to add Joey in order to keep OG Tuai safe from harm. If I can do that, then being on this tribe won't be so bad after all. Hopefully, however, Joey can maintain a social status to justify me bringing him into the alliance. Otherwise, he is on his own. I  hope the other OG Tuai are doing well and avoiding elimination today

Lysandre

"Me in the middle of one world: Omg I believe I know Felix's real self and I am literally about to quit I hate the person that Felix is outside of the alias

Felix: Picks me first to be a part of his tribe. "

Lysandre

"Ok so the new tribes have me feeling pretty iffy. Yes I am immune at the moment but I am separated from both Marie and Kathleen. This doesn't give me any comfort knowing that I am on a tribe with individuals who I do not know very well either and being stuck with Raul who works all the time and isn't 100% aligned with me yet.

While on new Tuai, Felix decided to form an alliance between me, him, and Raul which was a fraction of the Drama Bitches alliance that was formed during One World that consisted of Me, Felix, Raul, Marie and Kathleen. Now I am not dumb. I am aware that Cassie and Felix are close and Apollo fits in there somewhere too. My eyes are open. SHARINGAN! "

Marie

If David doesn’t go home I’ll cry

Boris

"Whew so much has happened

I got an idol a couple days ago!! I can't remember if I wrote a confessional about this

Someone walked, I wasn't really all that interested in that.

AND THEN SUDDENLY WE'RE IN ONE WORLD and I have mild panic bc i hate one world's, too many people.

And then we gotta pick 2 leaders, Marie and Felix volunteer and me and the rest of Sumi tribe ALMOST fight because we're messy heauxs but we eventually let it happen

And then tribe swap!! Surprise!! Except no one is actually super surprised but here we are anyway. And best of all, my dynamic trio alliance of me and Apollo and Zest is still together? When will ur faves? So yeah I'm in a good position, I like this tribe way better than my first one"

Maynor

I think it might be me going or its gunna be David. Thats what my vote is gunna be. Hopefully it works.

Brianna

I forgot if I said David is the target but David is the target.

[so-litudinal]

apr. 8-17, 2017

I could use a change or two

> names:

Mona Sergei / Sergueï Joseph / Yossef / Yusuf Puer (Mater) Jacob

> Emily Dickinson, poem 867:

I felt a Cleaving in my Mind – As if my Brain had split – I tried to match it – Seam by Seam But could not make them fit – The thought behind, I strove to join Unto the thought before – But Sequence ravelled out of Sound Like Balls – upon a Floor –

> It’s been days and days that I’ve been meaning to write, that I actually have wanted to share or at least word out certain thoughts and impressions. Like every other time I postponed my writing and then eventually came to it, my first impulse is to scribble awkward explanations, almost excuses — for whom and what for, no need to ask. It is again (though I’m not sure I can accurately single out a moment in the recent past where this was not the case) this state of rampant fatigue. I was just reading an introduction to Emily Dickinson’s poems earlier and while remarking on her occasionally (and presumably) unstable mental health, the author referred to catatonia. I looked into it a little more and what I read, for the most part, really hit home. I should ban Wikipedia from my information resources but... “[la catatonie] est une forme de schizophrénie caractérisée par des périodes de passivité et de négativisme alternant avec des excitations soudaines.” O-K-É (One thing led to another, I ended up reading about aboulia/apragmatisme and avolition/aboulie. On the French wiki page of the latter, it is said that “aboulie” can be mistaken with the syndrome of psychic auto-activation loss (syndrome de perte d’auto-activation psychique, PAAP), which is often the result of carbon monoxide poisoning. Says a lot about my low-key obsession with Todd Haynes’ ‘Safe’ lol. Also, Carol White’s all-white outfit ft. Emily Dickinson’s wearing only white......)

> The Moon is almost full, the thought of it makes me anxious.

> The ‘On this day’ Facebook app is so stressful, yet I can’t help checking it out on a daily basis lol... Five years from today (april 9th) I was sharing Gary Jules’ ‘Mad World’ videoclip* along with some lines from the songs (probably the ones that most spoke to me at the time). Before that it had already been a very important/present song in my life; during certain periods I would listen almost exclusively to it in an endless row. Somehow towards the end of my senior year, it became even more haunting... Wowowow remembering is such an odd process — unexpected memories keep barging in as I’m writing this (it feels like a long while since I’ve last had such hectic brain activity ha).

Thinking of that last semester in secondary school obviously brings me back to the fire we had in our apartment. The weeks and months (I’d even say years but I’m not sure it’s all that connected) that followed were chaotic and I find the images and impressions I keep the most vivid memories of quite surprising. For instance, we stayed at our neighbour Mireille’s for a couple of weeks right after the incident (it was also during those weeks that my mother told my stepfather she wanted divorce). On Friday evenings we watched a singing competition on TV (The Voice France, who am I trying to fool) and there was this girl, Al.hy, I really liked. I don’t know for how long after this performance of hers sent me trippin’ every time I would listen to/watch it (also, judging from this video, my sister still looked a lot like Jenifer in it and it was a pretty good time in our relationship — it’s gotten colder, almost bitter). (Note to self: how come you still haven’t gotten more into Kate Bush?) With hindsight, I now can tell that I was able to go back to school despite the events and actually do very well for my finals (though I have very little memory of that — it all feels like a handful of weeks, not three whole months) because I was dissociating so hard. Yeah, probably the longest dissociative episode of my life... When summer vacations started, I slowly gained back a sense of realness and tangibility. It turned out so violent after all this time being numb that I had a major depressive episode for two months at least (July and August thus). I remember living with my mother in the apartment my stepfather had found for himself while he was living in our former one during the reconstruction work (we only moved back around October); that apartment had an amazing view from the rear windows. I remember the heatwaves that added to the dramatic and unbearable character of everyday life. I remember writing overly sentimentalist notes in a notebook. I remember not being able to go out or actually going out and having to go back “home”. I remember hating my body and becoming obsessive with my daily workouts. I remember watching Catherine Frot’s filmography with my mother. I remember going through an awkward and tough patch with my best friend and not seeing each other for a long time (sending each other very weird emails I’m glad I wasn’t able to find back later). I remember discovering and rewatching ‘Martyrs’ several times over the span of a few days — I believed it changed me and I couldn’t distance myself from it. I remember loving Jodhi May lol. I remember not having any control on my hair washing OCD: I would take several showers a day and wash my hair every day (it was hard not to do so more than once), even at past midnight — when I think of this period one of the first words that comes to my mind is “dirty” (then I guess it’s a sensation very closely associated to my most disrupted periods). I remember the kitchen and its table, actually I remember the whole apartment quite clearly. I remember misophonia being particularly severe (and I’m kinda nervous to note that I feel it has lately become as bad as it was at the time). What a mess...

‘Mad World’ videoclip reminds me of two things. First, Hey Arnold’s  ‘Pigeon Man’ episode...  An epiphany. I like to imagine Jim Jarmusch drawing his inspiration from this episode to write and direct ‘Ghost Dog’. Second is a book I had to read for my French class in my third year of secondary school: Philippe Delerm’s ‘L’Envol’. It was probably not even that good but it was another key self-revealing item from my adolescence. While discussing it in class, I remember the teacher — she was sitting right in front of me — noting in a very sad but compassionate tone: “Some people are just not made for life”. I understand how it can be misinterpreted or ill-received but at the time it really touched me and came as a relief, regarding my father (though I’ve had/still have a hard time admitting it), regarding myself and my conception of life and death. Actually this sense of relief is still accurate up to this day. It doesn’t matter (shouldn’t matter) but this was the same teacher I was talking about (the one who had passed me by some time ago) in a previous post. I shouldn’t summon too many memories from that time, considering it’s one of which I’m most ashamed of. Just gonna leave this here...

The “On this day” app also managed to remind me, a few days ago, that the last time I visited Tunisia was in April 2009. Eight years that feel rather as an eternity. It’s one of the visits “back home” (that’s a lie) I keep the fondest memory of. Especially one particular day when my aunt and uncle introduced me and my mother to a married couple of friends, very sweet and gentle people who had a beautiful house outside the city. They invited us for lunch and while we were sitting at the table in the kitchen their son came in and gave two red roses he had picked in the garden to my aunt and mother. I felt very left out lol. Then we drove with them even further into the countryside (I can’t remember where in Tunisia it was or even if it was near Sousse or not). We arrived at the husband’s mother’s “farm”, where she lived and also had a vast plantation of olive trees. Her name was Zrira (/s5ira/) which means small, little one (or petite in French). And indeed she was so small, small and warm. I had never felt so heartily welcomed before. The wife’s name was Rouza (rose) but I’ve forgotten the husband’s. We visited the plantation and a bit of the farm where I got to see a beautiful cow. Rouza and Zrira were drawing water from a well (was it on a cliff?) as I was taking a couple pictures of them. I’ve been trying to find those pictures for a couple of years now. I can’t for the life of me recall whether I took them with a disposable camera or my phone (if it’s the latter, chances are I will never get them back). The sky was grey, I think it even rained (April is generally a rainy season in North Tunisia) but still it’s one of my dearest memory.

Maybe I should learn Arabic after all... I think a lot about Tunisia lately. Maybe it’s associated with my father’s death date, which was on March 31st, 2002. Was it the 31st or the 21st? One of them is his death date, the other his birthday but I’ve always mixed them up. Anyway, 15 years ago — I’m not sure I feel anything about it. I miss the big jasmine tree in our front yard. My room’s smelled of jasmine for the past four days. Though it’s one of my favourite smells, at first it found me more disrupted than happy, more upset than nostalgic. But I’m cool now.

> My room smells of jasmine because on Thursday my mother and I went to a plant nursery/garden-centre (whatever the name is) 40 mn walk from our house (15 mn by the bus). It was so beautiful over there it got me emotional (cried a little a few times). We gathered some ideas for the garden. I even got to meet a gorgeous doggo (and petted him — lol that reminds me that the owner at some point told me it was okay to pet the dog but I’d already done so long before hehe). While the man was telling my mother about berries bushes, I felt a ray of sunshine piercing through the roof of the greenhouse and just as I turned around and looked up, a heron flew over slowly. My mother got me a potted jasmine plant and I chose a pale rose buttercup for my best friend, with whom I was supposed to meet the day after. We walked all the way back home, me hugging the plants in my arms and sucking on a lollipop offered for free at the checkout counter. I love Spring, way more so even since I’ve moved here. Sometimes I’m afraid I’m only meant to love Spring and everything is doomed to be unbearable.

> When have I come to hate the Moon, especially at its fullest? Maybe I do not. I most likely do not. As the Moon keeps refilling inevitably I am reminded of how little I have in my hands — more dreadful: how what little I have in my hands is left untouched and uncared for. I shy away from the Moon because it is at once the judge, the witness and the proof of an abject motionless life and le bourreau is never as terrible as when hidden in the dark in total silence.

> Today I got to see the first cows of the year outside!!! Is it finally the time they’re taking them out? I wish I could dream of cows — that would be a very soft dream. I’ve often daydreamed that in the Summer I could lie down in the grass and take a nap, curling up against the warm side of a cow. I’ve had several dreams with horses but they were more like nightmares... or anxiety-filled dreams I guess. Somewhat for me horses fit that atmosphere of tension and on-edge nerves. Sometimes I wouldn’t even get the full picture of a horse, only its franticly galloping legs — and the sound that comes with it. In reality I am lightly afraid of them; an uneasy sort of feeling when being around some, though on the other hand I am mostly thrilled. I find them most impressive at night. And for some reason they always appear to me out of the blue, completely unexpected. Unlike many of my others fears, the one I have for horses I’m willing to overcome.

> O-K-A-Y crazy day today + one of the most beautiful and intense moments of my life (as well as one of the most needed).

I passed my theory driving license exam. Now that the easiest is behind, I can go on with the real hassle lol.

Had yet another fight with mother that ended in a monologue/therapy session but at least it helped release some of the tension.

On the evening walk with the dog, while the sun was slowly setting, the moment happened. I went back to the field where I saw the cows the other day. I stood still behind the fence, watched them graze. I’d been there for a couple minutes, occasionally waving at the ones that were glancing at us when all of sudden a first one started striding towards us and immediately after the rest of them followed. There they were, fourteen (!!!) beautiful cows standing in line in front of me, all curious though a little cautious (farouche would suit perfectly here). I stayed there a good 20 minutes, reaching my hand out so that they could smell (and lick haha) my fingers. After a few minutes I could even carefully pat a couple of them on the head and feed them some grass. Leaving was so hard, and I didn’t have a camera with (not that it mattered) but as I was walking away backwards they formed this breath-taking picture against the flaming setting sun. I think of cows all year round. I cried and tried hard to be there.

During that same walk we also saw three pheasants running through fields and a couple of beautiful birds.

I was talking about how I’d been feeling, or rather not feeling lately (catatonia and so on) and I didn’t realise I was digging my nail into my palm so hard that it’d been bleeding all the while. It isn’t even that I’m exhausted. I only feel like sleeping par dépit. What else is there to do?

> I’m feeling kinda sad for the ice-cream man who’s just driven by my window in his van, chiming his bells tune and slowing down every other metre even though it’s a very cloudy and rainy day, with no one outside.

> Some events from a week ago, on a Sunday, when it was still as warm as a Summer day.

On one of the flowers of the potted buttercup I’d bought for my best friend, I found a tiny snail. I let it slither along my hand and fed it some lettuce before taking it outside in the garden with me. I named it Edgar II, after Edgar I, the snail I had encountered on a trip to the seaside about 4 years ago.

I said it before: it’s this time of the year when all the sheep are having babies, most of them have gotten bigger already. That day, in one of the pastures closest to our house, where two sheep and a lamb have been living, the lamb was particularly curious and playful that evening. It wanted to get closer to the dog and also reached my hand with his tiny pink snout (so soft!) every time I stretched it out. When my mother did the same, it started sucking her finger. A bit further on, on a plot of land where there were about thrice as many sheep and ten times as many lambs, the latter were even more lively. As we were feeding one of the adults some grass, a whole flock of about ten lambs ran through the plot. What a view.

> Over two weeks ago, I went to the open campus day of the University in town. It was an exhausting and exhilarating day for the most part. But I zoned out completely before it was even finished, and now my clearest memory is the imposing magnolia in bloom in the centre of a small inner courtyard of the Languages Department. I sat there drinking chocolate milk. On that day I was also reminded of how exciting languages are! Also I met a cute mom lol. I felt even more lost once the visit was over but I was kind of proud. (Dissociative crisis ensued.) Ah yeah, I won a contest (we were supposed to recognize as many languages as possible upon hearing students reciting passages of ‘The Little Prince’ in 20 languages — I got all of them right) and my prize was a sweater with the department’s initials printed on the back lol.

Almost forgot that on the evening I attended a multiple screening of some Franco Piavoli’s works. He was there and his presentations and conclusions seemed never-ending and most people were rude and disrespectful. But I love his films. I don’t know, it’s been too long, I forgot. I’m scared.

> Today: Easter breakfast prepared with love by mother. On the evening walk, petted my favourite lamb as if it were a dog — its eyes were closing with pleasure as I was scratching its head (reminded me a bit of the sensation of Bellustre the poodle’s soft top of the head). And most importantly, went back to the cows. They ran to me again, shoot a bit this time, fed them some carrots, they’re the best.

> So piano has made sort of a low-key comeback lately, in my heart and mind more than in the facts but still... Not gonna get into detail here and now for I might just break the spell (so scared it’s already happened). Only wanted to tell this. We moved the piano in a more appropriate place last week. On the day that followed mother went visited my grandma who apparently happened to ask her if “there was anything going on with my music and my piano because she’d thinking about it the past few days”... She knows I quit playing some years ago. It’s as if she’d sensed it. It made me feel good and closer to her again since things had gotten a bit tense on my side ever since the period she was staying at the hospital. We’re connected despite everything.

> I genuinely and whole-heartedly value kindness. Nothing makes me feel more at ease in society than people who perpetrate acts of absolute selfless kindness. A few occurrences that continue to make me smile weeks after:

I had sent a email to a former Italian teacher of mine before Spring break, to brief him about my current situation and potential plans and ask him for tips and advice on how to maintain my Italian skills and perhaps increase my knowledge by reading some authors. His first reply came on the following day and everything from the way he formulated the quick couple of sentences he wrote to the very content of his message (he was to elaborate more on the weekend for he was in a hurry that morning) sounded so well-meaning. After that I didn’t get another answer for over two weeks lol... But one came today that I was hardly even expecting any more. A very helpful one with that.

I remember going to the cinema, also before Spring break, with mother to see a doc called ‘You Have No Idea How Much I Love You’ (of course we had to see that one). Afterwards, as we were waiting on a platform for our train back home, we were eating spring-rolls when the station master came out of his office just to give us a bunch of paper napkins. HOW SWEET?!! When our train arrived I quickly knocked on his window to wave thank you and goodbye.

Old lady helping another old lady and his man get safely to their seats in the bus.

> On the other hand I react very badly (though it’s mostly internalized) to being ignored. It’s happened one too many times lately, for instance my former piano teacher never replied to my mail asking him for advice on how and where to pick it up again. Good thing I eventually got some feedback from the Italian teacher.

> I read this article on the too-soon-to-be-called-a-loss of the first language and I actually shed tears lolilol. I know there are some truths I’m gonna have to face now.

> The night before last night (I think) I had a dirty dream about Martha Argerich. [Except I’d left this last part aside and have only inserted it back now so I’m not sure which night I was referring to.]

OK! I’ve been writing this over the course of 9 days I think. WAY TOO LONG, if you want my opinion but well.

[celebritylive]

Khloé Kardashian is leaving the past behind her — and she wants everyone else to do the same.

The Keeping Up with the Kardashians star, 35, appeared on Ryan Seacrest‘s radio show on Friday, where she opened up about Tristan Thompson cheating on her with Jordyn Woods, Kylie Jenner‘s longtime best friend.

Though she was understandably hurt and blindsided when the scandal first surfaced in February, Khloé said she’s ready to move on and has no hard feelings toward either Thompson, 28, or Woods, 21.

“I’m not someone who holds a grudge. If I do that it’s only going to affect me,” she told Seacrest, 43. “That chapter is closed for me. I want all of us to move on and to be happy, successful people. I just want everyone to just be better people with each day. That’s genuinely how I feel.”

“I know everybody makes mistakes,” Khloé added. “I think it’s how you handle it, and I think apologies need to be as loud as your disrespect was or to me, it’s not sincere. I’m forgiving. I’m forgiven.”

RELATED: Kylie Jenner Says Jordyn Woods Wants to Write Khloé Kardashian a Letter About Tristan Thompson

Since their split, Khloé has made an effort to remain cordial with Thompson for the sake of their daughter, True.

The two have been navigating co-parenting together — part of which will be shown in the upcoming 17th season of KUWTK, including their first reunion at True’s 1st birthday party just two months after the scandal broke.

A sneak peek of the episode released last month showed one scene where Kim Kardashian West was livid after Thompson apparently ignored Khloé at True’s party and upset the mother of one.

Speaking to the emotional reunion back in April, Khloé told Seacrest during Friday’s show, “hat was really hard.”

“True’s birthday was just a couple weeks after all of that stuff happened, so everything was really raw and fresh,” she explained. “You’re going to see that in the first episode, really how we even came to the point where I even invited Tristan to her first birthday.”

RELATED: Khloé Kardashian Defends Tristan Thompson After Fan Claims She Hates Him: ‘People Make Mistakes’

“I always wanted that to be obviously a mommy and daddy thing,” Khloé continued. “In my family, it is everyone who is going through this breakup. So I knew in my family it was going to be a lot of high tension, but I still wanted to do what was best for True.”

Given all the heartbreak and drama that the reality star has recently endured, Seacrest credited Khloé for her optimistic outlook and ability to laugh through it all.

“We’re all human beings and we’re all figuring out life,” she said. “Stuff happens and people make mistakes, and as long as it doesn’t define who they are — as long as they don’t make those choices define them and they try to evolve and become better people — we’re all gonna survive. We all learn from it.”

Though Khloé acknowledged, “I don’t think these things are funny all the time,” she went on to explain how “you have to laugh and still move on with life and know that everything is going to be okay no matter what does happen to you.”

“Things have to happen to me for me to become a better person, as well, and if we can’t laugh at it, what in the hell am I going to do? Sit in a ball and cry?” she added. “I gotta find the humor in something.”

RELATED: A Definitive Timeline of Khloé Kardashian & Tristan Thompson’s Rollercoaster Romance

A source recently told PEOPLE that Thompson has been focused on being the best co-parent he can be to their 17-month-old daughter.

“Tristan wants to be a good, present dad to True,” a source told PEOPLE about the NBA player. “He’s committed to raising her in a loving environment and also wants to be in a good place with Khloé.”

“After everything they’ve been through, things have finally gotten to a calmer place,” said the source, who added that “neither would completely rule out a reconciliation down the line.”

However, a second source indicated Khloé would never take Thompson back especially after being betrayed twice. (Thompson first allegedly cheated on Khloé just days before she gave birth to True in April 2018.)

RELATED: Khloé Kardashian ‘Didn’t Really Get’ Why Tristan Thompson Posted a Birthday Tribute to Her: Source

Over the summer, an insider told PEOPLE that while Khloé and Thompson’s relationship was already on the rocks before he made out with Woods, she still had faith in their relationship at the time.

“She always hoped there was a way things could work out, because that’s what she wanted for True,” the insider said. “She wanted True to live with both her parents.”

According to the insider, Thompson “was doing everything he could to get Khloé back” after the scandal, but she chose to move on for good.

“He did ask her at one point to reconsider, but Khloé was too angry and disappointed with him,” said the insider.

Despite not wanting to get back into a relationship with him, Khloé has made it clear that she still respects Thompson.

In July, after a social media user accused her of hating her ex, Khloé set the record straight in an exchange on Instagram.

“Why would I ever hate anyone who helped create such an angel?” she wrote, as captured by Comments by Celebs. “People make mistakes, but I won’t hurt my own healing by holding on to hate. I’m too busy raising my beautiful baby and securing that to hate any individual. Sweet True has always looked like her daddy. She’s beautiful!!”

She also posted a similar message on her Instagram Stories, stressing the importance of a positive outlook.

“Hate no one, no matter how much they’ve wronged you,” the post read. “Live humbly, no matter how wealthy you become. Think positively, no matter how hard life is. Give much, even if you’ve been given little. Forgive all, especially yourself. And never stop praying for the best for everyone.”

Keeping Up with the Kardashians season 17 premieres Sep. 8 at 9 p.m. ET on E!

from PEOPLE.com https://ift.tt/2Lv2Drh

[mrsseverussnape]

Love Is You

characters: Scarlett Rose(oc), Severus Snape, Sirius Black, Carina Black(oc), Leo Black(oc), Scarlett’s parents

word count: 2239

Love Is You -> Chapter 29- FINAL

    It has been 7 months since Scarlett and Severus moved into Scarlett’s retirement house in Naxos. Severus has quit his job because he wanted to spend all of his time with Scarlett after he found out about her heart illness. Scarlett hasn’t wanted him to do that sacrifice for her but Severus was persistent. When they moved Naxos in June, first couple of weeks passed with decorating the house; their choice of decoration style was a mix of coastal and Greek. After the decoration was done, Scarlett needed to accomplish her other retirement dream which was buying ducklings! Severus reconciled Scarlett that buying only 2 ducklings is enough. She has wanted more but they ended up buying a yellow one and a Rouen one. Scarlett named the Rouen one “Cookie” since it has dark spots and looked like a chocolate chip cookie, yellow one was Severus’s to name and he named it “Milky” just to go with cookie and milk theme. Luckily, Scarlett’s cat Athena got along with the ducklings and they all became the cutest trio ever.

    Scarlett and Severus had times of their lives during the whole summer in Naxos. They went to swimming, discovered every corner of the island, had long walks and many more; but their favourite activity to do together was sailing with their small boat and reading books middle of the sea. They believed that either island’s weather or those activities helped to ease Scarlett’s illness a bit. She wasn’t having heart aches or pains frequently and she has passed out only couple of times during the summer. She got even better when Carina and Leo came to visit her time to time.

    Scarlett wanted to spend rest of the year in Naxos too, they went to London for 2 weeks in September for Scarlett’s yearly check-up and to visit her parents and Carina. When they came back to the island, it was calmer than before since the summer season has ended and all the tourists were back at their countries. They liked it better that way and enjoyed the silence of the island. Everything was going good and well until November arrived. Like how trees lose their leaves in fall, Scarlett started to lose her health. Now she was waking up nauseous every morning and the moment she got off the bed dizziness was adding to it as a plus, some days she wasn’t able to eat anything whole day because of that. In addition to this her blackouts became more frequently, and she would faint regularly. Somedays Scarlett would be in such a bad mood and cry her eyes out until she fell asleep. These days were the worst ones for Severus, he would try his best to calm her down and ease her pain but after Scarlett fell asleep, Severus would go by the sea and cry there all by himself.

    Last week of November, Scarlett insisted to invite her children, her parents and Sirius to Naxos; saying that she wants to see them one last time. Those words stabbed Severus in the heart, and they had a small argument over it because Severus wanted her to believe that nothing will happen to her. But in the end Severus sent patronus messages to all of them, explaining the situation a bit. Scarlett haven’t said anything about her illness to anyone still. When they got Severus’s message, all was panicked and couldn’t understand what happened to her so suddenly. Her parents and Sirius apparated there in the same day with the message, Carina and Leo came in the night of the same day. Severus explained them her illness beforehand which did lead to an argument between them, they were angry that Severus hasn’t said anything to them until this day even in secret from Scarlett. But in the end, they all realized that arguing won’t help anything and it was time to see Scarlett. She wasn’t able to get out of the bed, so all went to see her in the bedroom. She was sleeping in the dark blue sheets which made her to look even paler than usual, her hair colour was the only lively thing on her at the moment. Ricardus went over to his only daughter and woke her up by kissing her cheek softly.

“Wake up princess...”

“Dad...” Scarlett looked at him sleepy and tried to sit up. “You came.”

When she realized all the people she wanted to see was in the room, her sad eyes sparkled with happiness. “You all came!”

“Of course we did mummy!” Carina jumped on the bed to snuggle her.

“Be careful Carrie.”

Leo warned her, he was extremely tense since he found out about his mother’s condition. Leo was the mummy’s boy since birth and he adored Scarlett in every way. Possibility of losing her was killing him.

“It’s fine Leo, come join us baby.” Scarlett held a shaky hand out for Leo who happily accepted it and snuggled into his mother too.

    The air of the room was unexplainable, everybody’s eyes had a sad expression when their lips were forced into a smile. They were trying to have a cheerful day just to make Scarlett happy but deep down all of them was crying internally. Especially Sirius, he was very silent. He was blaming himself for what happened to his Scarlett, he has put so much stress and pressure on her because of the fuckery they have been through. He had one job; protect his family and keep it together but he has failed terribly. Sirius shook these thoughts off and turned his attention back to Scarlett. They all took some photos together and talked for hours. Scarlett hasn’t been that happy for a long time, she even ate some food with them. Her happiness calmed everybody down for a bit.

    The twins and Sirius have taken couple of days off from work so everybody would stay at the island. Severus was helping them to make the beds in the living room and the guest room, their house wasn’t that big so Ric and Aurelia would stay in the guest room while Sirius and the twins were sharing the living room. While they were on this, Scarlett wanted to talk with Sirius privately. Sirius went back to the bedroom where Scarlett was and sat next to her; silver eyes met with the forest green ones for the first time in a while.

“Siri...”

“Yes kitten.” He smiled softly at her.

“I want you to promise me one thing.”

“What is it?”

“When... when i am gone, please take care of Carina and Leo also yourself. I want to make sure that you all will be just as fine even i am not with you here no more...”

“No no no, don’t say such things. I don’t wanna hear those Scarlett.” Sirius held her hand tightly and kissed her knuckles.

“We will see our kids’ weddings and have grandchildren; we will be the coolest grandparents! Where do you think you are going without doing any of these!?” Sirius joked but his eyes were filled with tears, he was having hard time while trying not to cry.

Scarlett’s lips trembled while the tears were running down on her cheeks. Her heart broke thinking that she won’t be able to live any of these events Sirius just said.

“Don’t buy little motorbikes to our grandchildren for their first birthday.” Scarlett joked trying to change the mood.

“Ah damn, i was just thinking that!”

Sirius laughed but shortly his laughters turned into sobs. He snuggled into Scarlett who was halfway laying, she wrapped one arm around him while playing with his hair with the other hand. This was the way how Sirius copes with sadness, he would rest his head on either Scarlett’s chest or lap and let her to play with his hair until he was calm again. But this time Scarlett cried with him too, they poured out all the sadness they held inside.

“My lawyer will give keys to each of you when i d... you know; i prepared 4 trunks with the things i want to give you, the twins and Severus. They are in the basement of my house. When the time comes, take them okay...?”

Sirius didn’t answer her question but instead he held onto her even more. Scarlett sighed but knew he would do what she asked him to do. She looked down at Sirius who was laying next to her, head rested on her chest.

“I want you to know that, i was so happy with you and i didn’t have any regrets. I think our friendship and marriage were more than just decent, they were perfectly splendid. I loved you very much Sirius Orion Black, i still do.”

Sirius finally looked up at her face, his cheeks were wet from the tears he shed; he sat up slowly.

“Scarlett Serafina Rose, i love you more. You are the best thing ever happened to me. I am so so so sorry all the times i made you sad, none of them were intentional... You are my one and only.”

Without a thought, Sirius closed the gap between their faces and pressed his lips into hers. Familiar feeling of 26 years filled them but this kiss was different; it was a farewell kiss and both of them knew it. Their tears mixed into the kiss and Sirius couldn’t take it anymore; he run out of the room crying. Severus came to their bedroom soon after he saw Sirius run outside.

“How are you Scar?” He asked while changing into his pyjamas.

“Good, i guess...?” She had a weird feeling whole day since her loved ones came but she couldn’t understand what; it was like she was cured in a day.

Severus turned off the lights before came to bed, but Scarlett turned on their bedside lights immediately. Severus raised his eyebrows, Scarlett hated to sleep in a lighted room even it was just a tinniest light. She noticed his confusion and explained.

“I wanna see you...”

“Why is that love? Did you miss me?” Severus hugged her and kissed her tear-stained cheek.

“I will miss you...”

Severus was about to ask her what she means but before he could, Scarlett kissed him passionately. This took Severus by surprise; since Scarlett’s illness got worse, the only intimate moments they shared were soft and slow kisses. She slowly pulled away and whispered into his ear.

“You are my first, my last and my everything. I will keep your love evermore, Severus. I love you.”

Severus was used to Scarlett’s regular farewell talks by now and he hated them because they just hurt him even more but that felt different. When Scarlett looked into his night-like eyes, he got lost in hers; Severus always loved how big and meaningful her eyes were.

“Tell me you love me...” Scarlett’s whisper brought him back to reality.

“I love you more than anything in the whole wide world Scarlett, you know that. You are my luck.”

Severus kissed her one last time. Scarlett rested onto his chest then he started to sing their song “I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You” to put her to sleep while playing with her hair. Her eyes closed slowly and she dived into a peaceful sleep.

    The next day a shriek woke everyone up; it was raining cats and dogs with loud thunders. The weather simply reflected everyone’s feelings about today. They were planning to stay couple of days more but they changed the plan and took Scarlett to London with them. London days weren’t any different, they were gloomy and smothery. Severus wanted to turn back to Naxos for Scarlett’s birthday, they have decided on celebrating it there this year and he wanted to make it happen.

    Severus was listening to a slow music from the record player and drinking some wine when his eyes caught the window, it was snowing for the first time this year in the island. Severus smiled happily thinking that Scarlett’s usual birthday wish was happening. Since it was midnight and officially her birthday, he ran up to their bedroom to wake her up and let her know about the snow. When he walked into the room, Scarlett was already awake in their bed. She was looking like a snow angel in her white satin sleeping gown, Severus grinned at her while moving the curtains aside.

“Surprise! Just how you wished for your birthday, love.”

“I haven’t wished for snow this year, i have only wished to be able to celebrate it...”

“We can start celebrations right now if you want, it passed midnight. Happy 56 my love!”

Scarlett didn’t respond to him; she was staring at him rather sorrowfully. He leaned against the wall behind him to support himself.

“I am not here, all of this happening in your head Severus...”

Severus shook his head while whispering “no” constantly.

“I died that night in your arms... It was your scream to wake everyone up in the following morning... You all took me to London for my funeral...”

“STOP! Please stop...”

Severus cried out while sliding down the wall to the floor. He buried his face into his palms and cried his heart out. When he calmed down, he kissed Scarlett’s promise ring which he was wearing on his pinkie now.

“I love you Scarlett... We will meet again…”

taglist: @fific7