#also getting to see Chris in tiny shorts is a treat

[spookybunnybabe]

today is a sad day. I’ve finished all of red dwarf and need more.

[covid-safer-hotties]

also preserved on our archive

by Rowan Walrath

Public and private funding is lacking, scrambling opportunities to develop treatments

In brief Long COVID is a difficult therapeutic area to work in. It’s a scientifically challenging condition, but perhaps more critically, few want to fund new treatments. Private investors, Big Pharma, and government agencies alike see long COVID as too risky as long as its underlying mechanisms are so poorly understood. This dynamic has hampered the few biotechnology and pharmaceutical companies trying to develop new medicines. The lack of funding has frustrated people with long COVID, who have few options available to them. And crucially, it has snarled research and development, cutting drug development short.

When COVID-19 hit, the biotechnology company Aim ImmunoTech was developing a drug for myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome, better known as ME/CFS. As more people came down with COVID-19, some began to describe lingering problems that sounded a lot like ME/CFS. In many cases, people who got sick simply never seemed to get better. In others, they recovered completely—or thought they had—only to be waylaid by new problems: fatigue that wouldn’t go away with any amount of rest, brain fog that got in the way of normal conversations, a sudden tendency toward dizziness and fainting, or all the above.

There was a clear overlap between the condition, which patients began calling long COVID, and ME/CFS. People with ME/CFS have a deep, debilitating fatigue. They cannot tolerate much, if any, exercise; walking up a slight incline can mean days of recovery. Those with the most severe cases are bedbound.

Aim’s leaders set out to test whether the company’s drug, Ampligen, which is approved for ME/CFS in Argentina but not yet in the US, might be a good fit for treating long COVID. They started with a tiny study, just 4 people. When most of those participants responded well, they scaled up to 80. While initial data were mixed, people taking Ampligen were generally able to walk farther in a 6 min walk test than those who took a placebo, indicating improvement in baseline fatigue. The company is now making plans for a follow-on study in long COVID.

Aim’s motivation for testing Ampligen in long COVID was twofold. Executives believed they could help people with the condition, given the significant overlap in symptoms with ME/CFS. But they also, plainly, thought there’d be money. They were wrong.

“When we first went out to do this study in long COVID, there was money from . . . RECOVER,” Aim scientific officer Chris McAleer says, referring to Researching COVID to Enhance Recovery (RECOVER), the National Institutes of Health’s $1.7 billion initiative to fund projects investigating causes of, and potential treatments for, long COVID. McAleer says Aim attempted to get RECOVER funds, “believing that we had a therapeutic for these individuals, and we get nothing.”

Instead of funding novel medicines like Ampligen, the NIH has directed most of its RECOVER resources to observational studies designed to learn more about the condition, not treat it. Only last year did the agency begin to fund clinical trials for long COVID treatments, and those investigate the repurposing of approved drugs. What RECOVER is not doing is funding new compounds.

RECOVER is the only federal funding mechanism aimed at long COVID research. Other initiatives, like the $5 billion Project NextGen and the $577 million Antiviral Drug Discovery (AViDD) Centers for Pathogens of Pandemic Concern, put grant money toward next-generation vaccines, monoclonal antibodies, and antivirals for COVID-19. They stop short of testing those compounds as long COVID treatments.

Private funding is even harder to come by. Large pharmaceutical companies have mostly stayed away from the condition. (Some RECOVER trials are testing Pfizer’s COVID-19 antiviral Paxlovid, but a Pfizer spokesperson confirms that Pfizer is not sponsoring those studies.) Most investors have also avoided long COVID: a senior analyst on PitchBook’s biotech team, which tracks industry financing closely, says he isn’t aware of any investment in the space.

“What you need is innovation on this front that’s not driven by profit motive, but impact on global human health,” says Sumit Chanda, an immunologist and microbiologist at Scripps Research who coleads one of the AViDD centers. “We could have been filling in the gaps for things like long COVID, where pharma doesn’t see that there’s a billion-dollar market.”

The few biotech companies that are developing potential treatments for long COVID, including Aim, are usually funding those efforts out of their own balance sheets. Experts warn that such a pattern is not sustainable. At least four companies that were developing long COVID treatments have shut down because of an apparent lack of finances. Others are evaluating a shift away from long COVID.

“It is seen by the industry and by investors as a shot in the dark,” says Radu Pislariu, cofounder and CEO of Laurent Pharmaceuticals, a start-up that’s developing an antiviral and anti-inflammatory for long COVID. “What I know is that nobody wants to hear about COVID. When you say the name COVID, it’s bad . . ., but long COVID is not going anywhere, because COVID-19 is endemic. It will stay. At some point, everyone will realize that we have to do more for it.”

‘Time and patience and money’ Much of the hesitancy to make new medicines stems from the evasive nature of long COVID itself. The condition is multisystemic, affecting the brain, heart, endocrine network, immune system, reproductive organs, and gastrointestinal tract. While researchers are finding increasing evidence for some of the disease’s mechanisms, like viral persistence, immune dysregulation, and mitochondrial dysfunction, they might not uncover a one-size-fits-all treatment.

“Until we have a better understanding of the underlying mechanisms of long COVID, I think physicians are doing the best they can with the information they have and the guidance that is available to them,” says Ian Simon, director of the US Department of Health and Human Services’ Office of Long COVID Research and Practice. The research taking place now will eventually guide new therapeutic development, he says.

Meanwhile, time marches on.

By the end of 2023, more than 409 million people worldwide had long COVID, according to a recent review coauthored by two cofounders of the Patient-Led Research Collaborative (PLRC) and several prominent long COVID researchers (Nat. Med. 2024; DOI: 10.1038/s41591-024-03173-6). Most of those 409 million contracted COVID-19 and then long COVID after vaccines and antivirals became available. That fact undercuts the notion that the condition results only from severe cases of COVID-19 contracted before those interventions existed. (Vaccination and treatment with antivirals do correlate with a lower incidence of long COVID but don’t prevent it outright.)

“There is that narrative that long COVID is over,” says Hannah Davis, cofounder of the PLRC and a coauthor of the review, who has had long COVID since 2020. “I think that’s fairly obviously not true.”

The few biotech companies that have taken matters into their own hands, like Aim, are often reduced to small study sizes with limited time frames because they can’t get outside funding.

InflammX Therapeutics, a Florida-based ophthalmology firm headed by former Bausch & Lomb executive Brian Levy, started testing an anti-inflammatory drug candidate called Xiflam after Levy’s daughter came down with long COVID. Xiflam is designed to close connexin 43 (Cx43) hemichannels when they become pathological. The hemichannels, which form in cell membranes, would otherwise allow intracellular adenosine triphosphate (ATP) to escape and signal the NLRP3 inflammasome to crank up its activity, causing pain and inflammation.

InflammX originally conceived of Xiflam as a treatment for inflammation in various eye disorders, but after Levy familiarized himself with the literature on long COVID, he figured the compound might be useful for people like his daughter.

InflammX set up a small Phase 2a study at a site just outside Boston. The trial will enroll just 20 participants, including Levy’s daughter and InflammX’s chief operating and financial officer, David Pool, who also has long COVID. The study is set up such that participants don’t know if they’re taking Xiflam or a placebo.

Levy says the company tried to communicate with NIH RECOVER staff multiple times but never heard back. “We couldn’t wait,” he says.

Larger firms are similarly disconnected from US federal efforts. COVID-19 vaccine maker Moderna appointed a vice president of long COVID last year. Bishoy Rizkalla now oversees a small team studying how the company’s messenger RNA shots could mitigate problems caused by new and latent viruses, including SARS-CoV-2. But Rizkalla says Moderna has no federally funded projects in long COVID.

Federal bureaucracy has slowed down research in other ways. When long COVID appeared, Tonix Pharmaceuticals was developing a possible drug called TNX-102 SL to treat fibromyalgia. The two conditions look similar: they’re painful, fatiguing, and multisystemic, and fibromyalgia can crop up after a viral infection.

But it wasn’t easy to design a study to test the compound in long COVID. Among other issues, the US Food and Drug Administration initially insisted that participants have a positive COVID-19 test confirmed by a laboratory, like a polymerase chain reaction test, to be included in the study. At-home diagnostics wouldn’t count.

“We spent a huge amount of money, and we couldn’t enroll people who had lab-confirmed COVID because no one was going to labs to confirm their COVID,” cofounder and CEO Seth Lederman says. “We just ran out of time and patience and money, frankly.”

Tonix had planned to enroll 450 participants. The company ultimately enrolled only 63. The study failed to meet its primary end point of reducing pain intensity, a result Lederman attributes to the smaller-than-expected sample size.

TNX-102 SL trended toward improvements in fatigue and other areas, like sleep quality and cognitive function, but Tonix is moving away from developing the compound as a long COVID treatment and focusing on developing it for fibromyalgia. If it’s approved, Lederman hopes that physicians will prescribe it to people who meet the clinical criteria for fibromyalgia regardless of whether their condition stems from COVID-19.

“I’m not saying we’re not going to do another study in long COVID, but for the short term, it’s deemphasized,” Lederman says.

Abandoned attempts Without more public or private investment, it’s unclear how research can proceed. The small corner of the private sector that has endeavored to take on long COVID is slowly becoming a graveyard.

Axcella Therapeutics made a big gamble in late 2022. The company pivoted from trying to treat nonalcoholic steatohepatitis, a liver disease, to addressing chronic fatigue in people with long COVID. In doing so, Axcella reoriented itself exclusively around long COVID, laying off most of its staff and abandoning other research activities. People in a 41-person Phase 2a trial of the drug candidate, AXA1125, showed improvement in fatigue scores based on a clinical questionnaire (eClinicalMedicine 2023, DOI: 10.1016/j.eclinm.2023.101946), but Axcella shut down before it could get its planned 300-person follow-on study up and running.

The fate of AXA1125 may be to gather dust. Axcella’s former executives have moved on to other pursuits. Erstwhile chief medical officer Margaret Koziel, once a champion of AXA1125, says by email that she is “not up to date on current research on long COVID.” Staff at the University of Oxford, which ran the Phase 2a study, were not able to procure information about the planned Phase 2b/3 trial. A spokesperson for Flagship Pioneering, the venture firm that founded Axcella in 2011, declined to comment to C&EN.

Other firms have met similar ends. Ampio Pharmaceuticals dissolved in August after completing only a Phase 1 study to evaluate an inhaled medication called Ampion in people with long COVID who have breathing issues. Biotech firm SolAeroMed shut down before even starting a trial of its bronchodilating medicine for people with long COVID. “Unfortunately we were unable to attract funding to support our clinical work for COVID,” CEO John Dennis says by email.

Another biotech company, Aerium Therapeutics, did manage to get just enough of its monoclonal antibody AER002 manufactured and in the hands of researchers at the University of California, San Francisco, before it ended operations. The researchers are now testing AER002 in a Phase 2 trial with people with long COVID. Michael Peluso, an infectious disease clinician and researcher at UCSF and principal investigator of the trial, says that while AER002 may not advance without a company behind it, the study could be valuable for validating long COVID’s mechanisms of disease and providing a proof of concept for monoclonal antibody treatment more generally.

“[Aerium] put a lot of effort into making sure that the study would not be impacted,” Peluso says. “Regardless of the results of this study, doing a follow-up study now that we’ve kind of learned the mechanics of it with modern monoclonals would be really, really interesting.”

‘A squandered opportunity’ In 2022, the NIH’s National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID) put about $577 million toward nine research centers that would discover and develop antivirals for various pathogens. Called the Antiviral Drug Discovery (AViDD) Centers for Pathogens of Pandemic Concern, the centers were initially imagined as 5-year projects, enough time to ready multiple candidates for preclinical development. The NIH allocated money for the first 3 years and promised more funds to come later.

The prospect excited John Chodera, a computational chemist at the Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center and a principal investigator at an AViDD center called the AI-Driven Structure-Enabled Antiviral Platform. Chodera figured that if his team were able to develop a potent antiviral for SARS-CoV-2, it could potentially be used to treat long COVID as well. A predominant theory is that reservoirs of hidden virus in the body cause ongoing symptoms.

But Chodera says NIAID told him and other AViDD investigators that establishing long COVID models was out of scope. And last year, Congress clawed back unspent COVID-19 pandemic relief funds, including the pool of money intended for the AViDD centers’ last 2 years. Lawmakers were supposed to come through with additional funding, Chodera says, but it never materialized. All nine AViDD centers will run out of money come May 2025.

“When we do start to understand what the molecular targets for long COVID are going to be, it’d be very easy to pivot and train our fire on those targets,” says Chanda from Scripps’s AViDD center. “The problem is that it took us probably 2 years to get everything up and going. If you cut the funding after 3 years, we basically have to dismantle it. We don’t have an opportunity to say, ‘Hey, look, this is what we’ve done. We can now take this and train our fire on X, Y, and Z.’ ”

Researchers at multiple AViDD centers confirm that the NIH has offered a 1-year, no-cost extension, but it doesn’t come with additional funds. They now find themselves in the same position as many academic labs: seeking grant money to keep their projects going.

Worse, they say, is that applying for other grants will likely mean splitting up research teams, thus undoing the network effect that these centers were supposed to provide.

“Now what we’ve got is a bunch of half bridges with nowhere to fund the continuation of that work,” says Nathaniel Moorman, cofounder and scientific adviser of the Rapidly Emerging Antiviral Drug Development Initiative, which houses an AViDD center at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

“This was a squandered opportunity, not just for pandemic preparedness but to tackle these unmet needs that are being neglected by biotech and pharma,” Chanda says.

Viral persistence Ann Kwong has been here before. The virologist was among the first industry scientists trying to develop antivirals for hepatitis C virus (HCV) back in the 1990s. Kwong led an antiviral discovery team at the Schering-Plough Research Institute for 6 years. In 1997, Vertex Pharmaceuticals recruited her to lead its new virology group.

Kwong and her team at Vertex developed a number of antivirals for HCV, HIV, and influenza viruses; one was the HCV protease inhibitor telaprevir. She recalls that a major challenge for the HCV antivirals was that scientists didn’t know where in the body the virus was hiding. Kwong says she had to fight to develop an antiviral that targeted the liver since it hadn’t yet been confirmed that HCV primarily resides there. People with chronic hepatitis C would in many cases eventually develop liver failure or cancer, but they presented with other issues too, like brain fog, fatigue, and inflammation.

She sees the same dynamic playing out in long COVID.

“This reminds me of HIV days and HCV days,” Kwong says. “This idea that pharma doesn’t want to work on this because we don’t know things about SARS-CoV-2 and long COVID is bullshit.”

Since January, Kwong has been cooking up something new. She’s approaching long COVID the way she did chronic hepatitis C: treating it as a chronic infection, through a start-up called Persistence Bio. Persistence is still in stealth; its name reflects its mission to create antivirals that can reach hidden reservoirs of persistent SARS-CoV-2, which many researchers believe to be a cause of long COVID.

“Long COVID is really interesting because there’s so many different symptoms,” Kwong says. “As a virologist, I am not surprised, because it’s an amazing virus. It infects every tissue in your body. . . . All the autopsy studies show that it’s in your brain. It’s in your gut. It’s in your lungs. It’s in your heart. To me, all the different symptoms are indicative of where the virus has gone when it infected you.”

Kwong has experienced some of these symptoms firsthand. She contracted COVID-19 while flying home to Massachusetts from Germany in 2020. For about a year afterward, she’d get caught off guard by sudden bouts of fatigue, bending over to catch her breath as she walked around the horse farm where she lives, her legs aching. Those symptoms went away with time and luck, but another round of symptoms roared to life this spring, including what Kwong describes as “partial blackouts.”

Kwong hasn’t been formally diagnosed with long COVID, but she says she “strongly suspects” she has it. Others among Persistence’s team of about 25 also have the condition.

“Long COVID patients have been involved with the founding of our company, and we work closely with them and know how awful the condition can be,” Kwong says. “It is a big motivator for our team.”

Persistence is in the process of fundraising. Kwong says she’s in conversations with private investors, but she and her cofounders are hoping to get public funding too.

On Sept. 23, the NIH is convening a 3-day workshop to review what RECOVER has accomplished and plan the next phase of the initiative. Crucially, that phase will include additional clinical trials. RECOVER’s $1.7 billion in funding includes a recent award of $515 million over the next 4 years. It’s not out of the question that this time, industry players might be invited to the table. Tonix Pharmaceuticals’ Lederman and Aim ImmunoTech’s McAleer will both speak during the workshop.

The US Senate Committee on Appropriations explicitly directed the NIH during an Aug. 1 meeting to prioritize research to understand, diagnose, and treat long COVID. It also recommended that Congress put $1.5 billion toward the Advanced Research Projects Agency for Health (ARPA-H), which often partners with industry players. The committee instructed ARPA-H to invest in “high-risk, high-reward research . . . focused on drug trials, development of biomarkers, and research that includes long COVID associated conditions.” Also last month, Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) introduced the Long COVID Research Moonshot Act, which would give the NIH $1 billion a year for a decade to treat and monitor patients.

It’s these kinds of mechanisms that might make a difference for long COVID drug development.

“What I’ve seen a lot is pharma being hesitant to get involved,” says Lisa McCorkell, a cofounder of the PLRC and a coauthor of the recent long COVID review. “Maybe they’ll invest if NIH also matches their investment or something like that. Having those public-private partnerships is really, at this stage, what will propel us forward.”

Chemical & Engineering News ISSN 0009-2347 Copyright © 2024 American Chemical Society

[hirik0]

Save with you part 3

part 1 | part 2

09 Soap/Ghost, Omegaverse, Alpha Soap, Omega Ghost

Price ends the video call he had with a mated pair, that is in a similar position then he has at his hand. The Omega Chris being just like Ghost a very capable solider, with a lot of solo missions. He looks at his notes, still not understanding everything he was told. The only think he agrees with is that they need to start getting used to the new situation before Ghosts next heat. He still thinks about what the Omega told him, that Ghost should not be treated different then before the incident. When Price ask for clarification because he don't think anyone in the 141 would treat Ghost as less, he got an answer that made his blood boil. According to Chris its not unusual to get treated like a shiny think, something you want to show around, something some Alphas want to own for an ego boost. They will have a lot to communicate to define the boundaries also made sense to him, but the rest? Forget it, maybe it was because they themselves could not really explain it, something about ignoring instincts and adjustment periods. But beeing told they needed 2 years to figure it out, felt disacoruishing and they were only 2 people. At least they offered to observe if thinks don't workout as expected. "This sounds so easy on paper", Price says in the room knowing that Ghost will have to show a lot of vulnerability for the establishment of boundaries and they will fight over every little tiny interaction.

Ghost is out of medical for just short of 20 minutes and he wants to stab the next person that even thinks of talking with him. The amount of young soilders and recruits looking starstruck at him is already to high. They are lucky has no knifes on him, he would use them. Roach walks next to him, clearly having the feeling he needs to scare these people away what annoys Ghost even more. He can do this himself, he understands that it's probably Roachs Alpha instincts causing this behavior, but he's not a fragile Omega. "Roach I appreciate your attempts to be all scary and intimidating but I think I'm better at this, don't you think?", Ghost says after Roach scared away a group of Omega recruits. "I'm sorry, I know this but the instincts are overwriting this knowledge." "Fucking hell Gary", Ghost curses pinching the bridge of his nose if his Sergeant is already struggling like this how bad will Price and Soap be. And Roach really trys not to, but when some Alphas are clearly trying to get in Ghost pants and not taking Ghost no for a answer he growls at them. And they still don't back of and Ghost already non existing patients is snapping. In just 30 seconds the the leader of the Alpha group is pinned down, face pressed in the dirt with maybe a bit more force then necessary. Roach just smiles proudly at seeing how strong Ghost is, before being horrified about his own behaivor. This is Ghost of course he can pin every Alpha down, hell he was pinned down a lot by Ghost over the past 3 years. Price talked with them over this, to not let the Alpha instincts control how they interact with Ghost. He can do this he will not treat his best friend different, he just needs time to get back to normal and hope Ghost has the patience to wait. He needs to talk with Ozone about this, he looked like he understood what Price told them this morning. Ghost is no Omega that needs to be protected he can protect himself just fine, fuck Ghost is saving his ass more time then he ever needed to save Ghosts.

Soap needs all his self-restraint to not tear some of the Alpha recruits apart. All of them drolling over Ghost, trying to flirt with him and emberressing themselves. Ghost is out of medical for 3 weeks and about to be allowed back on missions and he thinks it's for the best of everyone because he has to take away a few of Ghost knifes so they don't end up in a recruit. At the same time he himself is really struggeling with his own instincts. Every part of his brain screaming at him to claim Ghost, so they keep their hands by themselves and not touch whats his and this is the next problem. He sees Ghost as his mate. Ghost very clearly don't want a mate and he will not push this on him, he will respects Ghost wishes. He's pressing his teeth together in rage, forcing his body to stay in place to not interfere Ghost can handel this fine by himself. Later he can punish some of this Alphas for in apropaited behaviour towards a commanding officer. If its so bad Ghost training some recruits how will thinks turn out when Ghost is sent on his first solo mision? He nearly told Price to go fuck himself for putting Ghost on the next team mission. His mind screaming that Ghost needs to be save and protected on base, but thats not how this works. Ghost is one of the most capabel soilders of the 141, he cant just try hide him away on base because hes stupid brain tells him Ghost is his mate. He really needs to talk with this mated pair Price mentioned to him, he struggels so hard with the situation. He also feels how he gets right out jealous of Ozone and Roach who seem to handel everythink a lot better so Ghost natrually just spends at much time with them as possibel. God everythink feels like its going south and he just cant stop it. He really hopes hes not around for Ghost first heats, he would do something he will regarde. Like biting Ghost mating glande the secound he gets the chance to it.

Price surprisingly also struggels harder then he thought, catching himself making up reasons to not send Ghost on missions solo or team. So he put his ego aside and is in a voide call with Chris again. "To be honest Captain it sounds like that you're just now realising that Ghost is in fact a Omega und not a Beta like you all pretended." "I'm very aware that Ghost is a Omega", Price saying clearly angry. "But do you? To my understanding you never meet Simon before Roba. So it was easy for your instincts to not clock him as a Omega till the incident", Chris says a bit condescending. "What's that supposed to mean", Price demands a explanation, his instincts stelling him to put the disrespectful Omega in his place. "Identifying an Alpha or Omega is mainly scent based and if there is no scent you basicly have no prove of the secondary gender other then gene testing. The primal parts of your brain need to smell Omega to know someome is a Omega." Price pinches the bridge of his nose, slowly making sense of what he's beeing told. "So the cave men parts of my brain just now are catching on the fact that Ghost is a Omega something i know for years", Price repeats what he's understanding so far. "Yes, you can say it like this. You see a sick Omega and your protecting insticts are kicking in, you smell a Omega in heat you want to fuck them. Just like a Omega will beg a Alpha to be knoted when in heat, will defend their nest, yada yada." "I think I understand", Price says a bit unsure. "Lets hope you dont need 2 years to figure it out", Chris jokes about his own expirience. "I dont think Ghost has the patients to give us 2 years", Price agrees. "Oh does has one of you time to talk to Captian MacTravish?" "I will ask, but MacTavish has to felxibel with the time." "Perfect, he is handeling all of this the worst."

Ghost was never so fucking happy over a long tidius solo mision in his career, all the Alphas on base are driving him insane. So it will be just him for the next 2 months, hopefully with out any heat incidents. But if the scedule of the Professor is right he has a minimum of 4 months left. He rarely left Roachs site in the last 7 weeks and it is staining their friendship. Roach is very clearly trys to not be a over protectiv Alpha and the incidents where he has to are decraising. But they are both super stressed, Ghost because he loves spending time alone what is now basicly impossible and for Roach because he basicly has to fight his own instincts the hole fucking time. They had some ugly arguments that ende with Ghost having to spend time with Ozone and Archer, what is the only normaly he hasn't lost. Ozone perfectly knowing where the lines are from having a Omega mate on the field for years. Giving him and Roach both time to cool down and breath. One time he and Roach fought so bad he hit in Price office for 4 days till they talked with each other again, Ghost did it so Roach can talk with Ozone. What sucks the most is spending time with Soap. He seeing Soap as a mate at this point, is really testing his own restrains. The amounts of times he wanted to climb in Soaps lap or purr at him is honestly embarresing. The moments he had to claw at the chair to not rub himself all over Soap or trying to scent him is getting higher and higher. Just earlier this day he nearly called him Alpha and he had to bit his lip to stop himself. So some time away, will hopefully reset some parts in his brain and thinks will return to how they where before the incident. When he walks to Price for the last briefing he hears angry shouting. Price and MacTavish are fighting, his mood is sinking the only reason these two would be fighting like this his mission. "Soap, i heard your concern but Ghost is the only one fitting to do this." "What.." "Drop it Soap, it was a risk for 7 years and it was never a problem. You cant keep him around base forever, he dont wants this, it will make him unhappy. And this is my last word on this, let him do his job or leave Soap", Price screaming can be heared over the hole hallway. Ghost heart sinks Price cant really mean that Soap should leave the taskforce can he? He walks in to the office predenting he did not hear the 2 scream at eachother and Price threat. "I still have paperwork to do", Soap says leaving the office fumming. "How much did you hear?", Price ask knowing that Ghost over heared atleast some parts. "Just the end.", Ghost say voice empty, chocking down the question if Price would really kick Soap out the task force. "Im sorry, Simon, its just Soap cant keep behaiving like this towards you.", is all Price says before going back to buisness.

[lifes-better-on-saturn]

Birthday Girl - Chris Evans

REQUEST

The reader (me ) is dating chris evans, and its the readers birtday, and chris evans is spoiling her, taking to the hair salon and to the nail salon , and the trows a party for her, and he asks her to marry him, and a couple months later the reader is asked to been on say yes to the dress and alot of fluff please

@maximeevansblog

——

A/N: It took way too long but here we go. Definitely not very well edited. Hope you like.

WARNINGS- pure fluff, tiny tiny illusion to smut, marriage.

Hope you enjoy :)

———————————-

“Babe, wake up.” You groaned as you rolled over, waving your hand in the direction of the voice. You heard a husky chuckle, before a pair of soft lips pressed to the top of your hand. “Get up, baby. I made breakfast, well brunch.” Your eyes shot open at the mention of food and you turned to see you handsome boyfriend of 4 years towering over the bed with a tray in his hands.

You sat up rubbing the sleep from your eyes as the tray was placed over your lap. You looked at the food before gazing up at Chris.

“Happy Birthday, baby.” You smiled as he leaned down and pressed his soft lips against yours.

“Thank you, honey.”

“No problem, pretty girl.Now eat up and after you finish that, we’re taking a shower and i’m taking you out, ok?” He said as he put his hands on his hips. You nodded before tilting your head up to receive one last kiss which he happily obliged and then you begun your meal.

Less than 15 minutes later you were up and out of your bed standing in your morning glory of a bra and short shorts. Chris’ large hands wrapped around your hips lightly pushing you towards the adjacent bathroom.

“Make sure you just don’t wash your hair, ok.” He smiled as you turned you around. Cocking an eyebrow you smirked.

“What’s up your sleeve?” You eyed him up as he moved closer. He ran his hand up and down your arm lovingly while staring into your eyes.

“Nothing. Just wanna spoil my special girl. Now go, we gotta be outta here in 20 minutes. Go.” He kissed your cheek and spun you around, giving your ass a slap before gently pushing you forward.

-time skip-

20 minutes later you were in the car with Chris, your favourite songs echoed through the car loudly and you both yelled the lyrics.

Eventually you pulled up out the front of a hair dressers, a very expensive some mind you. Chris turned to you and winked before making his way out of the car and to your side to let you out.

“Baby, what are we doing here?” You looked into his ocean blue eyes as they gleamed with happiness,

“I Told you i wanna spoil you. Now come on.” He grabbed you hand and pulled you into the salon. The receptionist smiled and ushered you through a doorway to a chair. Chris smiled at you before waving goodbye.

“I’ll be back when your done, love.” He blew you a kiss and made his way out to the car. You sat in the chair as a platinum blonde lady walked through stopping at your chair.

“Hey there darlin, my names Christy and I’ll be doing your hair today.”

You smiled as she directed you to another room with cushy chairs and sinks.

-and another time skip-

Two relaxing hours later you looked at yourself in the mirror in front of you, the stylist beaming ear to ear as she rested her hands on the back of your chair.

Not only had she magnificently done your hair but also your make up leaving you with a gorgeous natural glam look.

“Do you like it?” She asked as she continued to smooth out your hair.

“I love it, thankyou so much. How much do i owe you?” You asked as she led you to the reception area.

“I’m afraid, that’s already been taken care of.” You turned around just to meet that handsome hunk of a man, you called your boyfriend leaning against the desk.

He moves over to you leaning in for a kiss but You quickly turn your head away so his lips meet your cheek. He looks at you confused before you smile before pointing to your lips.

“Lipstick.” He chuckles, kissing just beside your mouth and moving away and saying goodbye to the hair dresser and the receptionist.

You made you way back to the car hoping in and seeing a dry cleaners bag in the back.

“What’s that?” You turn to grab it before chris grabs your hand pulling it back to him.

“Gotta wait for that baby.” You playfully scowled at him before settling into your seat.

You drove about 5 minutes up the road to another cute, -expensive- salon, only this one being a nail salon.

“Second last stop, babyyyy.” He smiled pulling you out of the car once again.

You walked up to the receptionist, again the girl immediately recognising Chris.

“Ahhh, Christopher! Your here, come on through.” The lady exclaimed as she hurried you both through the doorway into a small, private room, with a nail technician getting her tools ready.

“Ah! Hi guys! I’ll be going your nails today, Mrs Evans, if you’d like to take a seat just here and Mr Evans there’s chair there if you’d like to sit.” You looked back at Chris as you moved to sit down stunned by the names. You felt like telling her you weren’t Mrs Evans but secretly you loved the ring it had and the butterflies it sent up your stomach.

“I would love to sit, but i’ve got a few more things to take care of.” Chris spoke running his hand along your shoulders and leaning down to kiss you.

“I’ll be back baby.” With that he walked out the door. You smiled as the lady started on your nails.

Little did you know Chris was going back and forth between the house during your appointments getting things ready for tonight.

After this past year all Chris wanted to do was spoil you. Covid and quarantine did not treat you well and it took a toll on both of you, but now he could doing something so he’d secretly sent out invites to some of your closest friends and your family including his inviting them to celebrate you and if everything goes right, your engagement. Chris had had the ring from about the 6 month mark and You’re now four years in and he couldn’t be more sure.

He walked through the house and into the back yard to see he mum, Scott, his sisters and a few of his friends all assisting in putting up lights and setting tables. Before he walked outside he made his way to your shared bedroom grabbing the roses and rose petals. Before he laid them down he placed a black silk dress with some black crystal strap heels on the bed before sprinkling some pink and red roses over the bed and the floor leading to the bedroom and your bed.

Smiling at his work he made his way back towards his back yard where he was immediately ambushed by his niece and nephews. He walked over to the group with one of them in his arms, leaning over and placing a kiss on his mums cheek.

“Ma, this looks great. Really great.” He smiled as the child in his arms was taken.

“No problem. Anything for that gorgeous girl of yours. Now where is she. Is it almost time?” Lisa was definitely very very excited. Almost more excited than Chris.

“Yes, Yes, ma i gotta get her in about... 10 minutes.” Checking his watch, he ran back up the stairs muttering a quick ‘i’ll be back’ and changing into some plaid pants, a white shirt and a brown jacket.

“Okayyy, i’m going to get the birthday girl. Remember be real quiet when we get back.” He smiled as everyone waved good bye.

10 minutes later you smiled admiring your freshly done nails. You looked over as the bell of the door rang seeing Chris walk in sunnies on all dressed up.

You got up and met him half way, holding your hand out and wiggling your fingers.

“Damn, babyyy.” He smiled lifting your hand closer to his face before pressing a kiss to it. He smiled up at you looking over his glasses, blue eyes gleaming. “So pretty, honey.” He smiled once more before quickly paying the bill and waving to the ladies.

The whole way home you watched as his leg bounced and his hand wrapped and unwrapped itself from yours.

You pulled up to the house and got out of the car, Chris quickly led you toward your bedroom. He rest his hand on the knob giving you a smirk before swinging the door open.

You let jaw dropped as you saw the flowers and black dress resting on the bed.

“Oh, Chris.” You moved to the dress smiling as you lifted it. Turning you smiled as you watched chris rock back and forth a shy smile.

“Wanted to spoil you baby. Now put it on. Got one last surprise.” He smiled leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

Smiling you slipped from your jeans and shirt into the dress. You smiled as you checked your -frankly- gorgeous figure out in the mirror before a loud knock interrupted your admiring. You called out to come in and in walked Scott all nice in a button up and jeans.

“Scott! What are you doing here!?” You smiled as he enveloped you in a hug.

“I came to see my favourite girl!! and Chris made me come get you and bring you down stairs.” Stepping back he gave you a quick once over before grabbing your hand making your twirl.

“You look gorgeous babyyy. I love it!” You smiled and giggles before you were lead out the room and towards the back yard. Before you got to the door you were instructed to close your eyes.

“Good god, what are you doing to me.” Scott laughed and lead to carefully to the back step.

Silently he stepped away from you to stand in front of you along with the rest of your friends and family.

“Umm, Scott can i take my hands away now??” You chuckled and before long two strong hands were lifting your own off your face.

As your eyes adjusted to the light Chris stepped in front of you with everyone else as everyone yelled “Surprise!” and “Happy Birthday!”’s

You jumped and laughed as you looked at the sea of people.

Chris slowly walked towards you before whispering “happy birthday” and placing a soft kiss on your lips.

“Did you do this?” You asked. He grabbed your hands smiling and turned to everyone else.

“Yes i did. Do you like it?” For the first time since you stepped outside you looked around seeing the fairly lights everywhere small tables, and the couches, blankets and cushions for everyone.

“Baby i love it. Thankyou so much.” You smiled leaving a long, lingering kiss on his plump pink lips.

Soon as your moment was over you moved over to say hi and thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes and for turning up.

About an hour and a half later you were standing around talking to some old friends when a glass clinking echoed around the yard. You turned to see Chris standing on a chair.

“‘Scuse me! Can i have your attention!” Everyone turned as he cleared his throat one last time.

“Just wanted to make a quick speech. Y/N, Baby, if you could come here please.” You quickly made you way over to where he stood now on the ground. He took your hand before turning to everyone.

“This woman is one of the kindest, most loving, most beautiful women i’ve ever met and had the pleasure of being with. She is forever teaching me new things and i’m so deeply in love her for everything she does for me and my family,” he looked you in the eyes smiling, “I want to keep this woman in my life for the rest of my life so i guess what i’m trying to say is..” he let go of your hand, his sliding into his pocket and pulling out a little velvet box. You eyes widened and your hand flew to your face. He smiled nervously as he slowly lowered himself to one knee.

“Y/N, baby, will you stay by my side forever. Will you put up with me and my bullshit for the rest of our lives. But most of all, will you please make me the luckiest and happiest man on this earth, and marry me?” Tears pooled in both your eyes as your voice got caught in your throat. Not trusting your voice you nodded, your head almost detaching from your neck.

You bent down slightly cupping the side of his face and pressing your lips to his in a feverish kiss, his free hand coming up to cup your face in return. You pulled back whispering a yes as he stood and pressed your foreheads together. Looking down he slipped the diamond onto your finger. You smiled down at it before locking eyes with your now-fiancé.

“I love you so much, Chris. I can’t think of anything better, than spending the rest of my life with you.” You smiled kissing him one last time.

Neither of you had noticed Scott with his phone out filming everything. Turning to everyone he grabbed your hand swinging it in the air and shouting “She said yes!!!” You laughed and everyone cheered quickly moving to congratulate you two.

The rest of the night went past in a blur Chris barely leaving your side and you barely leaving his as everyone drank and celebrated both your and your engagement.

Eventually the night ended about 12.30 am, everyone heading to bed, you with your fiancé. Man you’d never get sick of saying that.

-9 Months later-

you walked into the boutique, Randy meeting you, your best friends and mum at the entrance, camera crews lurking behind.

“Hello, hello!!!! Y/N! How are you!?” You smiled giving him a hug.

“I’m good! How are you?” Answer with a “fantastic” and you introduced Randy to your mum and best friend before be less through the lobby to the rooms with all the dresses.

“Okay, so, what were we thinking?” Randy clapped his hands together.

“Umm so i was thinking something princess-y like a ball gown, but a strapless, you know??” You said as you avoided the cameras.

Being Chris’ girlfriend turned fiancé you were used to cameras but it still made you nervous sometimes.

“Okay, we’ve got a perfect range for you, if you come with me we’ll chose two or three and go back to the change rooms and try them on.” he placed a hand on your lower back leading you away from your family.

About 10 minutes later you walked out in a plain white ball gown -https://pin.it/5cuCPCq- with a slit for your leg. Standing on the podium you looked at yourself in the mirror. It was a gorgeous dress but, just didn’t feel right.

You turned to your guests and splayed out your hands beside you. You mother clasped her hands over her mouth murmuring how beautiful you look. While your best friend looked at you with a proud smile.

“So what do you think?” Your mum smiled as you turned back to look at yourself.

“I like it. It’s gorgeous, but it just doesn’t quite feel right.” Your cocked your head to the side as you surveyed yourself.

Chris would love this but this was for you.

Randy smiled. “Well it looks gorgeous but we still have more to try.” Once again he help out his hand helping you down before walking you back to the room.

You tried on one more that wasn’t right before trying on the last one. As soon as you put it on, you felt your body light up. You looks down and smoothed the skirt.

Holy Shit

You walked out, back to the stand immediately turning to your mum. Her hands flew to her mouth covering it as tears sprung to her eyes. Before you teared up yourself you looked to your best friend who was nodding furiously.

“My Goodness! It’s gorgeous!!!” Your best friend gushed as you smiled widely, so wide it felt as if your cheeks would split.

You turned to the mirror getting proper view of yourself.

“Sooooo,” Randy’s voice broke you from your thoughts. Your turned to see his equally bright and smiling figure. “Might this be a yes?” His hands clasped together and pressed to his lips. Turning back for one last once over you nodded.

“Yeah. It’s a big yes!” You smiled as everyone rushed up to you hugging what they could.

Randy and the assistant’s clapped as you twirled in celebration.

-3 months later.-

The dress was perfect, the ceremony was perfect, everything was perfect.

The wedding was everything you could have dreamed of from the forest ceremony and the reception.

Lights lined the trees and the under cover canopies. Tables littered these canopies flowers and napkins with the writing Mr&Mrs Evans embroidered on them.

Everyone spent the night dancing and laughing and celebrating you. The place was filled with close friends and family and a couple of A-listers including good ole Sebastian and Anthony, Scarlett and Robert and more.

Once the night was over Chris carried you bridal style (lol) through the threshold of your already shared home, before walking you to the room and placing you down.

Chris continued to worship you all night from small light kisses to consummating the marriage (wink wink) all night.

To say you were the happiest you’ve ever been was an understatement, and this was going to be the rest of your life.

Nothing could be better that this. Now Mrs Evans. Damn.

——————————

Ta-da!! Finished

Thanks for ready, go check out my other stuff :)

(master list is in the works lol)

[daysswiftlycomeandgo]

I've been thinking about how upset some people get about fans shipping non-canon gay or lesbian ships. There are plenty of arguments out there on both sides, some more valid than others. But what I want to talk about is the assumption that someone who ships a same sex couple, only ships same sex couples and that these fans can't enjoy a friendship between two characters of the same sex without wanting it to be romantic.

Now I've been reading fanfiction for close to 2 decades and I've shipped couples across the spectrum of sexuality. And I fall firmly in the camp of: I ship couples that have the most development and it just so happens that most media up to this point has been dictated by white men and thus the characters who get the most development are white males and males in general tend to have more characterization than women.

So as someone who ships same sex couples and also loves a good friendship/found family, I just want to give some examples of different forms of storytelling and how they affect shipping. (This is only from my perspective and I am in no way a professional.)

Now of all the shows I've loved and obsessed over in my life, the two shows that come to mind quickest in terms of quality friendship storytelling are Psych and Scrubs. The center of both of these shows is a friendship between two males and yet the most popular ships of these shows are the heterosexual ones. I would argue this is the case because the shows gave actual storylines to their female characters and gave them lives outside of the male characters. When you have fully fleshed out characters it's way easier to become invested in their relationships.

Let's take a closer look at Psych. We meet Juliet in the second episode of the series, and while the attraction between her and Shawn is obvious, it takes 4 and a half seasons for them to start dating. Throughout the first four seasons there is a much greater focus on Juliet adjusting to a new city and new job and proving herself. We see her build close friendships to Lassiter and Chief Vick as well as Shawn and Gus. Throughout the series we see Shawn change more as a result of his relationships with Gus and Henry than as a way to get Juliet to go out with him. Juliet and Shawn build a mutual respect and love for each other before ever dating. And they have other relationships in their lives that are just as important to them as their romantic one.

Which leads into the friendship between Shawn and Gus which is the most important relationship in the entire show (followed closely by Shawn and Henry). Shawn knows when to push Gus out of his comfort zone and Gus knows when he needs to pull Shawn back. They are open with each other about their jobs, their sex lives, their families, their insecurities, etc. Something interesting to me is that there are multiple scenes in Psych in which Shawn and Gus pretend to be romantic partners when working a case. Usually something like that would be shipping fodder, but Psych treats it as a given, a natural product of their closeness and the situation at hand. There is no gay panic or even an ounce of awkwardness afterwards. The scene happens and they continue on as they always do.

I feel no desire to ship Shawn and Gus because the relationships presented to me are already the best version I can imagine. Shawn and Juliet are great as a couple and I love seeing them together. At the same time Shawn and Gus have the best friendship on tv and I appreciate Psych for giving us that content.

Now compare that to my current obsession: 9-1-1. I very much ship Buck and Eddie together and I truly feel it is a product of the show making their relationship to each other, and to Christopher, as the most significant in their lives. Outside of Abby, and Shannon to an extent, the love interests for Eddie and Buck have been bland. Ali was only around a short time but what do we even know about her? We learn more about her in the earthquake episodes than we do during her entire relationship with Buck. Other than learning she travels for work during her last episode, we know nothing about her and nothing about her and Buck's relationship. Now Taylor is a little better as we learn in her first episode that she has always wanted to be a reporter and that she is willing to do anything to get there. Then in Season 4, we see her friendship with Buck first and get an idea of what they're like together. But we still don't know anything about what's important to her or her values or what she wants in life outside of her job. We see her tear up when talking about Covid but we get no context for why this is effecting her more than other stories. It doesn't feel like we ever really get a reason for why they like way other so much. Which is different from Buck and Abby who connect through their jobs and appreciate someone understanding the difficulty of being a first responder.

As for Ana, what do we know? She was Christopher's teacher and is now a vice principal and is pretty? She has no history, no agency, no motivations outside of wanting to date Eddie. We see her with Chris but not actually interacting with or talking to him. She is a nothing but a stock photo version of a girlfriend.

Compare that to what we see of Eddie and Buck together. Buck going to visit Santa with Eddie and Christopher, actively spending time with Chris, being the person Christopher goes to when he is panicking, taking care of Chris after Eddie has been shot. Buck losing it when Eddie is buried alive and when he's been shot. Eddie losing it when the lawsuit keeps him from being able to talk to Buck. Eddie being Buck's major support during Buck Begins. All of the tiny moments we get of the two, really three, of them at parties and at each other's places. Eddie using Buck's first name as a way to reinforce that Evan is important, not just Buck. That he made him Christopher's legal guardian in case of Eddie's death without even telling him because that's how confident Eddie was in that decision. That Buck doesn't have to sacrifice himself to matter and in fact should never sacrifice himself because that's how much he already does matter.

When a show gives me that much emotional context to characters that we know so much about already, of course I'm going to ship them together rather than with the love interests who are barely even real people within the story.

[marvelmadam08]

Baby Blues 17/?

Summary: Alex and Chris have their first scare as parents.

Warnings: Blood, emergency hospital visits, slight angst. Fluff.

A/N: So sorry for the delay in posting. I’ve been in a serious downward spiral for a while lately, along with some family drama (I’ll spare the details) but I’m back and will do my best to keep posting regularly.

~~~~~~

11 Weeks ( and 5 Days) Old

Chris was stressed. He was going back and forth between home and work, and when he was home he'd work some more. He would wake up early and drag himself to bed long after both Alex and Ace went to sleep, not that it would make much of a difference. Ace would still cry when Chris would try to hold him or go anywhere near Alex. Now he knew how Dodger felt for the last three months.

Chris quietly shut the front door behind him, knowing that Ace would be in the middle of another nap right about now. He stopped in the doorway of the nursery, it was cooler than usual; the window next to the crib opened just enough to let some fresh air breeze through. Ace was soundly asleep, his tiny fist was halfway in his mouth covered in drool. He made his way down the hall to his own room. Alex was on the bed, Dodger curled up by her side, her focus on the laptop in front of her while she typed away. He took in how she looked, her freshly washed curls were out, which he loved; and she was wearing her ‘lucky’ writing shirt and a pair of shorts.

“Hey babe.” Alex grinned. Chris climbed up on the other side of Alex, draping his arm over her lap and sighing deeply “Rough day?”

“Something like that.” He turned to look at the laptop screen “What are you writing?”

Alex covered his eyes “Nothing.”

“Is it about me?” Chris tickled her side, Alex half shrieked, trying to push his hands away

“Chris, cut it out- you know I don’t show you my chapters until I’m ready.”

“C’mon, I just wanna make sure you’re writing me accurately, as a loving supportive, sexy husband- ‘with eyes that rivaled the bluest of oceans’-”

Alex cringed at the memory of her slurring those words to Chris after an eventful Girls Night Out she had with her old college friends. They were engaged at the time, drunk Alex thought sending Chris a 'sexy' voice message would be the best way to rile him up for when she got home. When she woke up the next morning, with a massive hangover and no solid memory of the rest of the night, Chris was there with aspirin and let her listen to the voice message and watch the video of her trying to sneak back in the house without being caught.

“I told you that in a drunken state!” Alex pulled the pillow from behind her and smacked her laughing husband in the face. “You’re such a jerk.”

"Now you're in trouble." Chris sat up, pushing the laptop off her lap and tickling Alex's sides

"Chris, I didn’t mean it." She said between giggles “Get him Dodge.”

Dodger sat up, ears twitching slightly, before he bounced off the bed and ran out the room all together. 

“Traitor.” Alex pouts

Chris pushed himself up on his knees, his hands grabbing Alex by her legs and pulling her closer. His eyes roamed over her body, one hand rested on her thigh while the other cradled the back of her head; playing with the tiny coils there.

“Chris, you’re gonna mess up my hair.” Alex smirked

“Then put the bonnet on and let me do what I need to do.” he whispered, now leaning in closer to press his lips to hers.

Dodger ran back into the room, whining loudly before barking. 

“Shh, Dodge you’re gonna wake the baby!” Chris shushed. Dodger barked again, with more fervor, Ace cries shortly followed, he ran out once more; still barking and growling. “Dodger, enough!”

Alex huffed before pulling away from Chris. “I’ll get Ace.”

“I can do it.” Chris offered

“No, it’s fine, but do me a favor and grab my bonnet.” she winked slipping out of his grasp in time to keep him from smacking her ass. Chris jumped up from his spot on the bed to rummage through the dresser for the silk bonnet.

"Chris!" Alex shrieked

"Al?" He ran for the nursery, Alex was practically halfway in the crib scrambling to get Ace, Dodger was doing his best to climb inside the crib too "What’s wrong? What happened?"

Something jumped out the crib, Dodger took off after it, giving Chris room to see what was happening. Ace was nearly red in the face, crying and scared; a small series of scratches covered his face and arms.

"There was a squirrel in the crib, it must’ve gotten in through the window." Alex picked Ace up holding onto him closely "Mama's here, it's okay I got you."

"We gotta take him to the hospital." Chris was already grabbing the carrier and nearby baby bag. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Alex gently laid Ace in the carrier and strapped him in, he continued to cry and squirm

***

Ace's cries carried on the whole ride to the hospital. Alex and Chris were talking over each other when the nurse asked what was wrong, thankfully she was able to understand and rushed a doctor over.

They both watched the nurse apply a soothing aloe lotion to the scratches, while they sat on the other side of the room. Ace rested in the incubator, staring back at the nurse, from time to time he would turn his head in the direction of Alex’s voice.

“It’s all my fault, I’m so fucking stupid.” Alex sniffled, rubbing her legs, partly to comfort herself but also because she was cold, not thinking to grab longer pants before leaving the house. 

"No, Al it is not your fault, and you are not stupid." Chris shrugged off his long sleeve flannel, draping it over Alex's legs then wrapping his arm around her shoulders. 

“I left the window open.”

“You made a mistake, mistakes happens all the time with first time parents.”

“How many first time parents let a wild, rabid squirrel into their newborns room?” Alex huffed “He hasn’t even gotten his second round of shots yet. He could get rabies or typhus, maybe ringworm.”

“He’s going to be fine, the doctor said the cuts weren’t that deep and we got him here in time to catch anything.” Chris kissed the top of her head “He’s gonna be fine, Al. I’m sure of it.”

“Okay, we’re all done.” the nurse cooed at Ace, placing mittens on both of his hands to keep him from scratching “The doctor should be back in just a moment to let you know how the tests went.”

“Thank you.” Alex was the first one up, hurrying over to the incubator “Hi baby. Mommy is so sorry for letting that mean old squirrel scratch you up.”

Chris walked over to the other side, smiling down at his son. “Hey bud.” he smirked slightly watching Ace rub his face with the mittens “You know we owe Dodger something special, for scaring that squirrel off.”

“He probably mauled that thing.” Alex stated, then poked out her bottom lip at Ace “Didn’t he, didn’t Dodger attack that nasty little squirrel that scratched up your face.”

“We should get him a treat on the way back.” Chris stuck a hand inside the incubator, stroking Ace’s cheek gently. “And we should probably move Ace’s crib from by the window.”

“Agreed.” Alex looked up when the room door opened again, seeing the doctor walk in “Good news?” 

“Luckily majority of the scratches weren’t that deep, and the ones that were didn’t show signs of any other infections. No traces of rabies or any other diseases in his blood, which is extremely lucky considering he still hasn’t had his second round of vaccines yet.” he doubled checked the clipboard, “I will recommend that if any of the scars start oozing or he shows signs of swelling, that you come back to see me. As well as changing his soaps to ones with Aloe, to keep him from scratching.”

“Of course, thank you.” Chris shook the doctor’s hand “Are we all set to take him home?”

“Absolutely. As soon as you sign the release papers.”

***

Dodger was at the door as soon as it opened, he sniffed at Alex and Chris, looking for Ace; whining softly.

“Ace is alright, Dodge.” Alex assured, Dodger followed after her to the bedroom. She laid Ace down in his bassinet, currently still asleep from the car ride home. 

Dodger padded over to the bassinet, curling up next to it. Alex knelt down to pet him, giving him well deserved belly rubs and ear scratches. "Good boy Bubs."

"Very good boy." Chris came up behind Alex with a hefty bone for Dodger that they picked up on the way home. His ears perked up at the sight and he sat up waiting for Chris to hand it over "Proud of you, Bubba."

Dodger wasted no time gnawing on the bone, remaining in the protective spot next to the bassinet.

“I think this was a quickest he’s gone to sleep.” Chris stated in reference to Ace, a small smirk on his face hearing his son’s soft nasally snores. 

“The aloe lotion and the drive put him right to sleep.” Alex secured the mittens on Ace’s hands. Chris wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in closer and rested his chin on her shoulder. “He looked so helpless today, so scared. And it was my fault I never have him nap in a different room and the one time I do- this happens.”

“It wasn’t your fault Al, you couldn’t have known.” Chris spoke softly “Do you know how many times my brother and I have sent each other to the hospital?”

“I heard the stories Chris, you practically tortured your poor brother.” Alex sighed “Are you saying that, this is gonna be the first in a long roster of hospital visits?”

“I’m saying, look at him. He’s here, he’s healthy, and he’s going to be okay.” Chris kissed Alex’s cheek “Let’s get to bed.”

Alex half pouts, but allowed Chris to pull her over to the bed. “But I’m not tired.”

“Then you can keep me company, because I’m exhausted.”

They both settled on to their respected sides of the bed, but still drifted to the middle; Alex curled into Chris's side, letting her head rest on his chest and his arm wrapped protectively around her.

“When did you become the voice of reason in this relationship?”

“After all these years, I’m still full of surprises.” Chris kissed her on the forehead “Now go to sleep.”

“You’re bossy.” Alex yawned

Chris woke up again around four in the morning, not that he truly went to sleep, each time he closed his eyes he kept hearing Alex screaming, Ace crying, and something even more rabid or dangerous than a squirrel was in the crib next to him. He acted a lot braver than he let on today, giving Alex positive assurance while his own thoughts were just as frightful for the outcome. 

He slipped out from under Alex without waking her, walking up to the side of the bassinet. Ace stared back at him with sleepy eyes, rubbing his face with his mitten covered hands.

"Hey bud, you're supposed to be sleeping." He whispered, gently picking Ace up in his arms. There was no fussing and no crying this time, Chris held Ace to his chest bouncing from foot to foot to lull him back to sleep. “I’m gonna tell you a little secret, just don’t tell Momma, but I was really scared today, seeing you all scratched up and hurt. It felt like my heart stopped, it probably did a few times.” he kissed the top of Ace’s head “I’m not gonna let anything hurt you again, I promise.”

Alex stirred, feeling the empty space next to her "Chris?" She focused her eyes on her husband standing over the bassinet "What's wrong?"

"Nothing’s wrong, we just couldn't sleep."

“Bring him over here.” Alex patted his empty space. Chris laid back in bed, still cradling Ace against his chest, Alex returned to Chris’ side. Dodger hopped up next, pawing at the bed for permission. “You too, let’s go.”

He hopped up, nestling himself between their legs, curling up at the foot of the bed.

“Better?” he asked her

“Much better.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @madbaddic7ed @sweetie20 @kidkool90 @maleekabenjamin @sophiayoongi-hyung @lovelokiqueen @loki8484 @buckysforeverprincess @dezdechild @marantha @lydslikestyds @wakandabiitch2 @across-the-starss @hbh6064th @jaydeee86 @alexabrown7 

[domesticblisss]

Silence

Timothy Thatcher x Female Reader Rating: Mature (Minors DNI) Word Count: 1493 Warnings: Fluff, smut, one bed. Summary: Tim finally tells reader why he acts like he does. A/N: This is a continuation to this drabble. You should read it before reading Silence.

We didn’t talk that morning. When I woke up, Tim was already out of bed and nowhere to be found, so I followed through with my routine.

The cheery, blonde receptionist still sat on the front desk, happily greeting everyone that stopped by.

“Good morning, Miss. Did you sleep well?” She asked when I approached her.

“Like a baby. Do you have any news on the snowstorm?”

“It picked up during the night, the roads are still closed and they have no idea when they are opening again. The news this morning said it might get worse, actually.”

“Damn, guess I will be staying more than one night here.” I laughed. “Do you think you could do me a favour? If it’s possible, could I get an extra bed in my bedroom?”

“We are packed, but I will see what we can do, Miss.” Anna, I could finally see the name on her ID plate, said with her sickly sweet voice. God, I wanna hug her.

“Thank you, sweetheart.”

Breakfast was uneventful, except for the fact that I met Marcel and Fabian at the buffett.

“Where’s Tim?” Marcel asked after we sat down to eat.

“No clue, he was already gone when I woke up.”

“He didn’t text you or anything?”

“Are we talking about the same person?” I asked as I shoved a piece of hash browns inside my mouth, “you guys know Tim hates me, he only works and travels with me because the company makes him.”

“He doesn’t hate you.” Fabian opened his mouth for the first time. The ironic look I had on made him continue. “He just… he has a hard time opening up.”

Yeah, right.

All of our phones beeped at the same time.

Text message from: Emily H. (NXT Prod)

The show is cancelled. Please stay safe in your hotels and send us the invoice so the company can reimburse you. I’ll hit back with new info as soon as they come out.

“Time to figure out how to have fun in a snowstorm, boys.”

Turns out, the hotel is way bigger than we thought and has a lot to do during a snowstorm. We hit the gym after breakfast and after training, we ended up finding out that the hotel has a huge gaming room, a cinema, a sauna, a big library, and they were even offering cooking classes. Marcel wearing an apron was such a sight.

It was past 7p.m. when I arrived, and Tim was already back in the room. He sat on the bed, a book in his hands and his headphones on. He didn’t acknowledge me.

It was when I left the bathroom after my shower that he finally talked to me for the first time that day.

“Didn’t see you come in.” he said, his voice a little louder as usual.

“Yeah, got back like, forty minutes ago.”

“Did you have a good day?”

I actually stopped putting my clothes back onto my suitcase to look at him before answering. He never asked how my day was.

“Yeah. Marcel and Fabian are here too, we spent the day together. The hotel offers a lot of stuff. Did you have a nice day?”

“Yeah.”

And silence fell upon us again. I had just finished getting my things in order and gotten my skincare done when I started feeling hungry. Deciding against leaving the room, it was so, so warm inside, I decided to order in.

“Hey,” I called Tim, “I’m getting room service. Do you want anything?”

“Sure, a cheeseburger is fine.”

“With fries?”

“Sure.”

We ate in silence, we watched whatever movie was on in silence, we fell asleep in silence.

The following days we were stuck in the hotel followed the same routine. I would wake up and Tim would be gone, I would chat with Anna, and save her from getting her heart broken by Marcel, him, Fabian and I would have breakfast, hit the gym and explore whatever the hotel had to offer. When I had gotten back to the room, Tim would already be there reading or watching something, we would exchange three words, eat and sleep.

Today, for some reason, I wasn’t blessed by the gods of sleep. As much as I tried not to, I kept tossing and turning, just waiting for the moment Tim would wake up and complain.

“Can’t sleep?” his hoarse voice came from behind me.

“No, sorry for waking you up.”

“You didn’t, can’t sleep either.” he got up as I turned around to look at him. “Do you want some tea?”

“It’s…” I looked at my phone to check the time “2 a.m., room service is not working anymore.”

“I’m making it. Peppermint tea helps you sleep, want it or not?”

“Sure…”

He comes back from the tiny kitchen five minutes later, with two mugs in hand, and hands me one.

We drink the tea in silence, and I take it as my cue to ask him the same question I did on our first night here.

“Why do you hate me, Tim?”

He sighs and takes his left hand to his head, disheveling his already messy hair. “I don’t hate you.”

“Okay… then why do you strongly dislike me?”

“I don’t have negative feelings towards you, I think you are a nice person. Why do you keep asking me this?”

I sat my mug on the side table and turned to face him, laughing. “Tim, are you serious? You barely look at me, you don’t say more than two words to me, and when you do, you get annoyed with me and shuts me off mid-sentence. I know I’m annoying but c’mon. Have I ever done anything to you?”

“No, you have not.”

“Then why do you treat me like this? I know you are a quiet dude, but I’ve known you since your Ringkampf days, I’ve seen you around your friends.”

Tim sighed again and laughed a defeated laugh. And nothing. Five minutes passed and, like usual, he didn’t dignify me with an answer.

“See, this is what I’m talking about. You alwa-”

“I strongly like you.” he cut me off, raising his eyebrows as if he wanted to cue me in on a secret.

“Huh?”

“Since that day we met backstage at PROGRESS.”

“Then why didn’t you do anything?”

“You were dating Brookes at the time and he was my friend, why would I act on it?”

“If it serves as consolation, Chris used to cheat on me all the time.”

Silence fell upon us once again, but this time it is different. Tim’s face is stony as he stares at me, his eyes are softer than usual, and I can see that he is processing what I had just revealed. Chris and Tim were good friends, but Tim is also known for his thoughts on how women should be treated.

Once again, I took it in my hands to break the silence.

“Then why don’t you do something about it now?” I raise my eyebrows like he had done previously.

Tim’s lips were on mine in no time. They are hungry, but soft at the same time, I can feel the need coming from them. His touch feels like how I had always imagined, it is strong and rough, and he cradles my face like he never wanted me to go away.

Eventually, we separate to catch some air and I see the need in his eyes. Tim grabs me by my arms and positions me on his lap. He attacks my neck, kissing and biting it, and he moves his ministrations to the skin of my chest that is exposed on the camisole I’m wearing.

I can feel his hard on poking my core, and I roll my hips around to tease him. I can feel how affected he is by it, as he curses after every shift of my hips.

It gets unbearable after he starts meeting me halfway.

“Tim, this is great and all,” I moan as he bites the sweet spot behind my ear, “but I need you inside me, now.”

We waste no time taking our clothes off, as Tim lowers his shorts down enough to take his cock out and I just shove my panties to the side.

He is thicker than I had anticipated, and it takes me some time to get used to it. We fall into a steady rhythm, his thrusts always meeting me halfway.

I could sense he was near his end, just like me, when he picked up speed. I lost it after one particularly strong stroke on my g-spot, having to bite his shoulder so I wouldn’t wake up the whole hotel. He kept going, taking a second, earth shattering orgasm from me, his own coming right after.

Tim held me closer, tighter. We laughed and kissed, and our night went on like we knew best: in silence, enjoying each other.

[lifeofroos]

A/N: Clarisse chapter but it has Aphrodite and Clarisse gets hurt

AO3 - KoFi

The Goddess

‘Are you allowed to be here?’

Aphrodite giggled. ‘Clarisse, darling, love can’t be held back by arbitrary limits.’ 

‘No, but…’

‘Sh.’ She put a finger on Clarisse’s lips. ‘You won’t get in trouble, I’ll be gone before they find out I was even here.’  Aphrodite stroked the demigods’ hair out of her face. ‘Did you know that I wasn’t even involved when Ares fell in love with your mother? He thought I was. But no.’

Clarisse looked away. ‘Ah-ha...’

‘I must say I was the one who told him to go pay a visit to your little boyfriend. I just wanted him to make sure you were treated right, you know?’

‘Chris did talk about that...’

The goddess nodded. ‘Hm-hm. Ares said he was good, good enough. But don’t tell him you got that from me.’

Clarisse stared at the goddess, trying to see what she wanted to achieve by giving her that little nugget of information. 

‘Isn’t it nice to know that, that the gods approve? I wouldn’t be so suspicious if I were you.’

Clarisse began to feel a little uncomfortable. ‘You really look right through people.’

‘It’s my job. Say, wouldn’t you want a different hairstyle, sometime?’

‘Eh, no…’

‘Too bad. I know my daughter would have loved to put her scissors in it once.’

‘Your… Silena?’

‘Perhaps your boyfriend would like it, too.’

‘Chris never even cuts his own hair.’

‘Does that bother you?’

‘Well…’ Clarisse abruptly stopped. ‘Don’t try to sow discourse in my mind.’

‘I’d never. I just want to know… how Clarisse la Rue feels, after all that happened to her, and after having two such important people in her life going through such awful ordeals.’ The goddess grabbed Clarisse’s chin, forcing her to look her right in the eyes. 

It felt like the world stopped for a moment. Aphrodite’s eyes reminded Clarisse of Silena’s. Just as gorgeously blue. At the same time, they reminded her of Chris’ eyes, too. But then again, they also had something of the eyes of her different siblings, and her childhood best friend and the friends she had met at camp half-blood.

Aphrodite sighed. ‘So many people to love… It seems like you should be happy.’

‘Don’t you feel any grief?’

Aphrodite’s expression turned from sweet to mad within a second. For a moment, Clarisse thought she would kill her. ‘Unlike you seem to think, I actually do miss my child, Clarisse. She carried my spirit with her. You know that if it hadn’t been for you...’ She stopped mid-sentence, but Clarisse knew the goddess hadn’t slipped up and accidently spoken her mind. A teeny tiny smile appeared again. ‘Now don’t worry that I am angry because of that little mistake. It shows you loved her, too. Yet, I hope you’ll excuse me if I cut our tête-à-tête   short.’

‘That’s… okay.’ For the first time in the conversation, Clarisse didn’t feel like mouthing the goddess off. And that wasn’t because her feelings were being manipulated. 

When she blinked, Aphrodite was gone. Figures. 

Clarisse knew the goddess just tried to raise the worst reaction she could out of her. She clenched her fist. Well, it worked. 

Chris always said it couldn’t be her fault Silena had died. Just as she had begun to believe it, Aphrodite had come and torn open the wound again. 

She could even understand why she and her father got along so well. They were entities of chaos, both of them. Made to make people go insane in their emotions, for better or for worse. 

It wasn’t all bad, though. ‘You’ve got a lot of people to love,’ she mouthed to herself. What an uncharacteristically beautiful thing to say. ‘You should be happy.’ 

‘Clarisse!’ She looked over. Chris was waving at her. ‘Where were you? Dinner has already begun. Chiron told the Ares-cabin to just start eating.’

‘Gods,’ she mumbled. 

Chris put an arm around her shoulders. ‘I am afraid I understand what you mean. Always prying.’

‘Hermes kids. All of them.’

Chris opened his mouth, then elected not to say anything. Not when Clarisse looked like she’d been through it. ‘There’s pizza.’

‘Great,’ she mumbled. ‘Just great.’

A/N: BEST FRIEND TSK Who am I kidding.

Anyway no hard feelings to Aphrodite. As she said, this is Literally her job. She makes people feel things - intensly. And she has beautiful sides, too. It’s beautiful someone has so much to love. It just means the ugly side is that there is a lot to lose as well.

Why the f am I on a streak of writing sad things. As in, what does that say about my mental health

[fullmetalscullyy]

the way it was - chapter 41

summary: what if riza never went to war? riza hawkeye has just married the man she loves. six months into their marriage, an unexpected surprise stops her from following roy to the military. a canon divergence au that explores what might have happened had riza been unable to join the military. there will be plenty of family fluff, angst, and royai.

rated: m | warnings: graphic depictions of violence (updated)

read on ao3

1915

 and i’ll see you in the high and low

 in the high and low i’ll find you

“Are you ready?”

“Hm?” Roy’s head turned towards her. She’d broken him out of his thoughts. His expression had been miles away as he sat on the edge of his hospital bed in quiet contemplation. Riza was curious about what had taken up so much of his attention but didn’t enquire. If he wanted to share, he would.

“I asked if you were ready to go,” she explained softly.

“Oh, yes.” Roy straightened his spine and placed both hands flat on his thighs. “I’m ready.”

Riza took his hand in hers and angled her body so they were walking side by side. Her other hand rose to grasp his elbow, cradling it within her palm.

“Thank you,” Roy smiled. He gave her hand a tiny nudge with his elbow.

“It’s no problem, Roy. You know that.”

“I know, but you’ve helped me so much and without complaint.”

Riza laughed to herself. “I’m happy to help.”

“How is your neck? And your shoulder? Let me know if you need to stop or sit down.”

“They’re fine, Roy. There’s no pain. And I will, don’t worry.”

Yesterday while they’d been on their first walk out of their room Riza had a sudden bout of light-headedness. They’d been on their way to a payphone to finally call Chris, after a few days of no contact. Breda had appointed himself their liaison and provided her with an update on their current situation, as both Roy and Riza had been on bedrest since their arrival. They were itching to speak to her, and possibly speak to Mia, but it hadn’t come to pass. On their way there Riza had clumsily fallen into a chair as her vision blurred into a solid grey colour, letting go of Roy and frightening him with her abrupt silence. The feeling had passed over her in a slow wave as she clutched at her forehead. It was painless but disorientating. While Roy had frantically called her name, a nurse found them and recognised Riza’s signs. She placated Roy with a quick explanation as Riza was unable to do it herself. All of her focus was on breathing and not passing out, so was unable to formulate any kind of sentence. They both were promptly whisked back to their room after that and it seemed Roy wouldn’t be quick to forget about that incident.

She’d lost a lot of blood, so her body was still trying to recover it, the doctor had explained. Riza started to worry she may be kept in longer than Roy. Of course, she was concerned for herself and her own wellbeing. The sooner she recovered, the sooner her children could come home to her. But, if Roy was discharged by himself… Their home wasn’t equipped for housing someone who was blind. She had to get things organised, rearrange rooms, create paths for him…

And then there was their children to think about as well. She couldn’t take care of them while being so weak. Thankfully, they were still in Xing with Chris and the girls. Riza would love for them to come home, but it wasn’t feasible or practical. If they did they’d have to stay with Chris and both parents knew Mia would be wondering where they were. She’d be constantly asking after them. To save her any worry and stress, they agreed, if it was all right with Chris, to keep them both in Xing until they left the hospital. It saved them giving an explanation to a child who was too young to understand properly what had happened to them.

Breda confirmed Chris had agreed to that plan. She’d been thinking the same thing too. Riza was grateful to have one weight lifted off her mind, but all those thoughts and worries were still threatening to give her a headache.

“What are you thinking about?” Roy’s expression was one of concentration, as if he were listening to something intently. However, she hadn’t said a word or uttered a sound.

One thing that did strike Riza was he could still pick up on a shift in her mood. It may not be the same as before, but it made her smile to know there was still some sort of connection between them.

But that smile quickly fell.

“The future,” Riza replied.

Roy patted her arm in sympathy and understanding. He kept it there too, which was a comfort. He was supporting her, as she was doing the same to him.

“I was thinking about when we’ll be discharged,” she elaborated further. “About whether or not we’ll leave at the same time, or if one of us will go first.”

“I was wondering that too,” Roy admitted. “The doctors are pleased with your progress, but you lost a lot of blood and –” He cut himself off for a moment, swallowing thickly as he stumbled over the memory of their time in the tunnels. “And you need time to recover. It’s a large wound, they tell me.” The pressure on her forearm increased. “They need to keep you in for further observation to ensure it doesn’t get infected.”

Riza knew all of this already but reasoned if it helped Roy to find some semblance of peace to go through everything aloud then she wouldn’t take that away from him.

“My hands are still pretty bad too,” he added. “The surgery went well but there was a lot of damage. I need to be kept in for them, not to mention for rehabilitation as well.”

“I just don’t want you to be sent home without me,” she admitted quietly.

“I know. I don’t particularly want to go home by myself either.” He chuckled to himself, “I would be a walking hazard without you.”

She appreciated his attempt to lighten the mood, however, the worry still weighed heavily on her mind.

“I don’t think they would let me leave without some kind of system of care in place though,” Roy mused.

“Once your hands are better you’ll need to start practicing with your cane.”

He pouted playfully. “But you’re a much preferable guide.”

Riza smirked. “Unfortunately, I can’t be with you every minute of every day.”

Roy hummed. “I don’t know, that does sound pretty wonderful to me.”

“You know what I mean,” she scolded lightly, but let out a light laugh.

“I know, love,” he reassured with a smile. “How do you feel about us potentially training Hayate to help me out around the house?”

Riza bit her lip. “That’s a lot to put on him.”

“I don’t mean full-time. It was mostly for helping me move around.”

“He’s not trained for that though,” she argued.

“It was just a thought.” He lifted a hand in surrender. “Obviously if you’re not happy with it then we won’t. My only thought was he’s such a good dog already and can listen very well. He’s so attentive. He’d probably work very well as a service dog.”

“With the correct training from the correct people, he probably would, yes.”

“I don’t think it would work out anyway,” Roy sighed heavily.

“Why the sudden change of heart?” She was confused.

“Can you imagine me trying to take Mia’s best friend away from her?”

Riza snorted lightly. “They are inseparable,” she agreed.

“No, I couldn’t tear those two apart. That wouldn’t be fair. Who knows,” Roy shrugged, “it may come naturally to us. Anyway, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. I can ask for an update and a time estimate from the doctors this afternoon. That may put our minds at rest a little?”

“I think that’s a good idea,” Riza nodded. “It would be nice to know some kind of timeframe, if possible, and find out what we have to work with.”

“And we won’t be without help. The team has already discussed this scenario too, apparently.”

Riza cocked her head towards him in surprise.

“If I was to be discharged first, they offered their assistance at home. Rebecca did too. Although,” Roy smirked, “I think she only wants to make sure I don’t destroy the place on your behalf,” he quipped.

“They really offered?”

Roy nodded. “They’re happy to help out.”

Riza was touched. A fond smile spread across her face as she thought of the men who’d devoted their lives to her husband. She knew they were close but hadn’t realised that would extend to outside their work lives as well. Riza didn’t know why though, she suddenly thought. They already thought of themselves as unofficial uncles to Mia, and now to Maes as well. They’d also already offered such assistance to her when Roy was in the hospital last year. After that realisation, Riza supposed it would be a natural progression. Her smile grew wider.

“They’re a good group of people.”

Roy hummed in agreement. “The best group of people.”

They continued on their walk and reached their destination, a payphone.

“We’re here.”

“Trip number two was a success,” he beamed.

“It was, thankfully,” Riza chuckled. She guided Roy over to a chair beside the phone and sat him down. Rebecca had brought her purse in from home, so Riza rummaged around within for the spare change she needed to make the call.

The phone rang four times before someone answered.

“Hello?” The gruff voice on the other side of the line made Riza smile immediately. It was a welcome sound and a voice she’d missed hearing.

“Chris? It’s Riza.”

She didn’t speak until after a short pause. “Riza?” Before she could open her mouth to confirm, Chris called Vanessa’s name, Riza assumed over her shoulder, holding the receiver away. “Good to finally hear from you, Riza.

“I know. Sorry it’s been a while.”

Chris scoffed. “No need to apologise for that. Breda has kept me up to date. How are you doing?”

We’re okay.” She glanced over at Roy who was trying to listen in to their conversation. “A little beat up, but all right.”

“Beat up?” Her question was short and sharp.

Perhaps Breda hadn’t shared some of the finer details with Chris.

“Yes. I sustained some injuries, but they’re being treated. We’re calling from the hospital.”

“And Roy? How’s he?”

Breda definitely hadn’t shared all of the details.

“Lieutenant Breda only really told me you were alive and would be all right,” Chris continued.

Riza could appreciate that. How does one stranger tell another that their son was now blind and their daughter-in-law suffered life threatening injuries?

She glanced over at Roy, noticing how his lips were pressed into a thin line. He gestured for the phone. It was time for him to break the news of his new condition.

“He wants to tell you himself,” she replied carefully.

Chris was quiet for a second. “All right.” Her words were sombre as she spoke.

“Hi, Chris,” Roy greeted.

Riza silently remained by his side. She placed a hand atop his head as he informed his mother that he was now blind and what had happened to his hands. Her fingers ran through his hair, playing with his dark tresses to try comfort and soothe him.

“Yeah… We won.”

A proud smile spread across Riza’s face as Roy broke their other news.

A chuckle left him as Chris spoke again. “I know, I know,” Roy relented. “There’s a long way to go yet, but yes, we did it. The plan succeeded.”

They spoke back and forth for a few more moments before Roy paused.

“Mia?” Roy’s head turned towards Riza’s body, facing into her stomach. Her fingers froze in his hair as she spotted his expectant look. Riza’s heart leapt into her throat. “Yes, please. If you could put her on.”

There was a sudden movement that disrupted Riza from her thoughts. Roy had felt out the chair next to him and slid over. The one he’d vacated was offered to Riza, and she took it immediately. The cord of the phone was long enough so they could sit with their heads together and place the phone in between them, letting both parents speak to their daughter.

The other line was quiet. Riza held her breath and waited. There was some shuffling then they heard Mia speak in a quiet voice, sounding far away.

“Mia?” Riza’s voice caught in her throat as she spoke her daughter’s name with so much hope and excitement. She was almost overwhelmed with how much she missed her children and couldn’t wait to hear her voice again.

“Mummy?”

Relief like no other flowed through Riza’s veins. She relaxed completely into her chair with her elation. “Mia, hi. It’s Mum. Dad’s here too.”

“Hey, Mia,” he greeted. Roy’s voice sounded thick as he spoke but there was the widest grin on his face.

“Hi!” Her reply was bright and excited, nothing like the shy, tentative tone she’d used to first greet them. “I miss you!”

“I know, sweetie. I know, we miss you too. So much.”

“It’s been a long time since we talked, but Grandma said that’s okay because it means I would have a lot more to tell you when you phoned, and we could talk for longer!”

Both parents laughed together. Riza’s eyes closed as she leaned her head against Roy’s. His arm wrapped around her shoulders tightly.

“We could talk to you forever, Mia,” Roy replied, “and we’d be more than happy to do it. How are you?”

“I’m okay! I’ve been having lots of fun.”

“That’s great,” Roy exclaimed. “I’m so happy that you have.”

“We’ve done loads since we last spoke! We’ve been to the park near the hotel almost every day. We’ve been to Xingese temples too which were so pretty! I want to go back but Grandma says we’ve got lots of other things to visit first before we can –”

Mia went on and on, regaling them of things she’d done since they last spoke. Both parents relaxed against one another, content and happy to let her speak and listen to all of her adventures. Riza had missed hearing about them.

“When will we get to come home?”

“We don’t know yet, Mia,” Riza answered after a brief pause. “You sound like you’re having too much fun to come home,” she quipped.

“I am, but I miss you! Maes does too. And I miss Hayate.”

Riza felt a pang in her chest. “I know you do. We miss you both terribly as well. But, if you hand the phone back to Grandma we can talk about when you might be able to?”

“Okay! She’s right here.”

“Goodbye, Mia Bear. I love you,” Riza added.

“Love you,” Roy chimed in, eager to say it himself.

“Love you too. Bye!”

Riza exhaled and tipped her head back. Roy gave her shoulders a quick squeeze, understanding every emotion she was currently going through, as he was experiencing the same. It was such a relief to hear Mia’s voice again after so long and to know she was happy, healthy, and okay.

“She’s a little whirlwind,” Chris remarked with a chuckle.

“Thank you for giving her the phone,” Roy replied.

“Of course, Roy Boy,” she dismissed, as if it were obvious she was going to do it in the first place. “Plus, she’s been pestering me non-stop for another chance to speak to you both,” Chris chuckled. “She’s taken it well though. There’s not been too many complaints.”

“What do you mean?” Roy was instantly alert. Riza shot him a worried look. He looked similar to how she felt. Was Mia doing okay?

“Relax,” Chris soothed in her gravelly voice. “She’s been fine. She’s a good and patient kid. Very understanding too. She’s missed you, that’s all. A typical kid thing.”

Roy exhaled in relief.

“When do you think you’ll be out of there?”

“We don’t know. I’m going to ask for an estimate this afternoon on when they think we’ll be discharged. Obviously with my blindness we’ll need to figure out the house first and then come up with some kind of plan to tell Mia…” Roy trailed off, realising that it may be even longer before they see their children.

“Don’t worry about a thing,” Chris announced firmly. “We’ve got more than enough to do over here to keep the kids occupied. You two focus on making yourselves better, all right? The more you do, the sooner they can come home. Let me know what the doctors say though, then we can take it from there.”

“Okay,” Roy exhaled. His shoulders settled and Roy nodded like all his fears had been alleviated somewhat. Chris’ support was extremely helpful and meant a lot as they tried to adjust to their lives now. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it, kid. We’ll get everything figured out and I’ll bring them back to you as soon as I can. Take care of yourselves.” The last part was almost a warning.

“We will. You too. And thank you, Chris.”

They shared a quick goodbye and hung up. Their walk back to the hospital room was quiet as they contemplated their conversation with Chris and Mia. It had been so lovely to hear their voices again. It had been too long, but there wasn’t much they could do about that. The important thing was it had happened, and they’d been able to speak with their daughter.

Once back in the room, Riza had finished helping Roy get settled when there was a knock at the door.

“Sir?”

“Come in, Fuery,” Roy beckoned.

His head popped around the door. He held onto it as he looked inside the room but didn’t take a step further inside. “Sir… Doctor Marcoh has just contacted us.” Fuery shifted and his expression turned hopeful for a second. “He has… a proposition for you. Regarding your eyes.”

Riza’s eyebrows lifted towards her hairline but Fuery didn’t let on anything further. Roy went still as he processed what Fuery had said.

“The stone?” His voice was low, almost reverent. Riza wasn’t sure what they were referring to, however from the way Roy spoke she could discern there was some gravity behind his words.

Fuery nodded. “Yes. He’s on his way in just now and wishes to speak to you, if that’s all right?”

“Yes, of course. Bring him in once he’s arrived.”

“Of course, sir.” Fuery left them in silence, closing the door quietly behind him.

“The stone,” Riza echoed, looking for further clarification.

Roy paused but then nodded. “Yes. It’s… Well, it may be a way for me to get my sight back.”

*      *      *      *      *      *      *       *      *      *      *

“Colonel? Riza?”

Riza looked up from the book on her lap as Breda’s head poked through the door.

“Oh.” Breda lowered his voice suddenly. “I didn’t realise he was asleep. Sorry,” he cringed.

She shot him a smile to placate any worry. “It’s okay,” Riza replied softly. She marked her place in the book with a finger so as not to lose it. “What’s up Breda?”

“Doctor Marcoh has arrived.”

Riza inhaled and nodded, understanding what that announcement meant. Roy would be getting his eyesight back today.

They’d spoken with Doctor Marcoh last week about using the stone. It was decided Havoc would be healed first, then Roy. They had to wait for him to arrive in Central, but Havoc’s procedure to return his ability to walk had been a success a few days ago. He was currently being monitored a few rooms down from them. Now, the Philosopher’s Stone would be used to give Roy his eyesight back.

“I understand,” she replied to Breda. “Thank you for letting us know.”

“There’s also someone else,” he interjected. “General Grumman has come for a visit. He’d like to visit as soon as possible if that’s all right with you both.”

That surprised Riza, however, it made sense if Grumman had been a mentor to Roy for years prior to their move to Central.

“Thank you, Breda. Can you give us ten minutes then send General Grumman in?”

“Will do.”

The door closed quietly behind him and Riza sighed as she stared down at her husband’s sleeping face.

In hospital Riza hadn’t needed to worry too much about Roy’s movements around the room without aid. It was mostly bare, aside from a chair and two beds, so the space was large enough to manoeuvre himself around safely. Regardless of that fact, Riza was always by his side to assist when needed. With the injuries on his hands, he’d been unable to hold a walking cane, but he was improving every day. However, she couldn’t help but run through plans in her mind for what would happen when they returned home. She’d need to reorganise and repurpose rooms. There would need to be clear pathways throughout their home which Roy could use and not hurt himself. Mia and Maes’ toys would need to be moved and placed in designated areas. They didn’t need him tripping over a stray soft bear or sliding on a forgotten pencil. Riza hadn’t had a chance to think about how they’d even begin to tell Mia that their father was blind. Now… She may not have to.

It was a bizarre concept, being able to cure the incurable so easily. She’d been made aware of what went into the Philosopher Stone and it set her on edge. It wasn’t right and Riza could never look at the stone for too long as it made her uncomfortable. However, it was Roy’s decision to use it. He didn’t like the thought of using the stone any more than she did, but it would restart him on a path they thought was lost to him. He’d still be able to remain in the military and work towards what he’d always wanted to do. And Roy was determined;. mMore than determined. As soon as the possibility had been planted inside his mind Riza could see him seriously considering it. Not much would turn him away from the prospect.

Ultimately, using the stone was on his conscience, not hers. But Roy’s was bearing the weight of so much already… However, it was his choice. He had plans, goals, ambitions… All to better this country and stop history from repeating itself. The stone would help, but was the moral cost worth it for him?

“Whatever it takes,” he’d informed her. His tone was determined, but there was a glimmer of grim acceptance in there too.

Riza reached over to gently place her hand on top of Roy’s in the bed. Her thumb swiped over the back of it as she tried to coax him awake. She’d decided sitting by Roy’s bedside in a chair rather than remaining in her own bed was easier to talk to the room and to him. In her own bed she was constantly twisting and turning her head and that was not the best course of action currently.

“Roy?”

He grunted softly in reply, stirring from his slumber.

“Roy, time to wake up.”

A feeble moan left him. His eyes opened briefly but fluttered closed as he quietly sighed and gave into the hold sleep still had on him.

“Roy.” Riza laughed quietly at his sleepy expression. She gave his fingers a gentle squeeze. “Doctor Marcoh is here to see you.”

She let that news sink in slowly and eventually he sighed. His eyes batted open groggily. “Okay, I’m up,” he grumbled.

“Did you sleep well?”

His head turned in her direction and he smiled. “I did. I didn’t even realise that I had.”

“You were pretty out of it,” Riza added.

“Your voice is so soothing and comforting to listen to, that’s why,” he grinned as Riza’s cheeks heated up slightly. “Did you keep reading ahead?”

“After you fell asleep I stopped reading aloud and continued on. It’s a good story. I like it.”

“I like it too. I like hearing you read it to me.”

“I can go back,” Riza revealed. “I marked where we finished together. I wouldn’t want you to miss the rest of the story.”

“You’re too good to me.”

Riza stood from her chair and slowly approached him. She placed a hand on his forearm, her touch feather light before increasing the pressure. A finger tapped his skin three times. Recognising her signal Roy inhaled in anticipation. Ever so softly she pressed her lips against his.

She hadn’t wanted to potentially frighten him with sudden touches after the Promised Day. Not while he was blind and not after the beating he’d received at the hands of Father while blind either. Riza had picked up on the fact he jumped whenever someone placed a hand on him without announcing themselves, so she’d come up with a code. With coded messages, they used two taps. With three taps, she announced she would be coming in for a kiss. All of her touches were soft, and she always made sure to announce herself with her voice before initiating contact.

“I love you, Roy.”

He stole another kiss with a grin. “Love you too.”

“Not only is Doctor Marcoh here, but General Grumman is as well. I’ve asked Breda to send him in shortly.”

Roy’s body stilled. “General Grumman?”

“I don’t know why,” Riza shook her head. “Breda only told me he was here to see you.”

With a sigh Roy sat up on his bed. He groaned and grimaced as the movement hit some of his aches and pains. Enough time had passed that their muscles had recovered, but there were still some bruises and stiffness.

Riza’s hand never moved from Roy’s forearm and she slid it slowly up his arm to give him some comfort. Her own injuries were much better. The strength of her painkillers had been reduced dramatically and the injuries were healing nicely. The skin around the one on her neck was pink and healthy, while the one on her shoulder was starting to heal over.

“I suppose I better make myself presentable for the General,” Roy grumbled.

Riza nodded and her hand slid away from his body.

While Roy rubbed his eyes tiredly Riza was struck with how similar he looked to Mia when she awoke in the morning. After their conversation on the phone Riza had made a point to call Chris every day. She couldn’t go that long again without speaking to Mia again. They’d even heard Maes gurgle happily through the receiver. Roy had gently but clumsily wiped away her tears after it. He’d accidentally poked her in the eye, which earned a giggle from them both, cheering Riza up a little. It wasn’t much, but it was enough.

“Colonel,” General Grumman greeted warmly as he entered the room. “Mrs. Mustang.” He bowed his head respectfully towards her.

“General, sir,” Roy welcomed.

“Good day, General,” Riza nodded.

“At ease, Mustang,” Grumman replied, waving Roy off as his hand lifted to salute while sitting up straighter in his bed.

“Understood.”

Riza watched on with interest. It was intriguing to note how much Roy’s voice changed whenever he was talking to a colleague or a superior. It was funny to think about, remembering just how goofy and dorky he could be with her and their family. It was not a bad thing he was acting differently. It was another part of him, and that part had always intrigued and fascinated Riza. She sat back in her chair to observe their conversation quietly.

“How are you doing, Mustang?”

“Well, sir. Just a few aches and pains but nothing major.”

The General lifted an eyebrow in doubt, making Riza wonder if he was already aware of his lost eyesight. She figured that at this point in time it would be common knowledge. Especially to the likes of General Grumman.

“Losing one’s eyesight would be considered major, Colonel.”

“I’m alive,” Roy replied with determination. “That’s enough for me for the moment.”

Riza kept her mouth shut about Doctor Marcoh’s visit. She already felt like she was privy to a conversation she shouldn’t be a part of so let them converse in peace.

“Mrs. Mustang?”

Her head lifted, surprised that the General had anything to say to her.

“If you wouldn’t mind, could I borrow you for a moment?”

Out the corner of her eye, Riza noted how Roy’s brow furrowed in confusion slightly at the request.

“There’s something I wish to discuss with you in private, if that’s all right?”

“Anything you have to say can be said in front of my husband, General,” Riza replied evenly.

In all honesty… She didn’t really want to be left alone with her grandfather. After her sudden phone call and his reaction to it, Riza thought he knew who she was but couldn’t be sure. The question was, did she have the energy to have that family discussion with him? Probably not. Regardless, it was true. She had no secrets to hide from Roy.

Grumman looked stumped for a second before he recovered. “Yes, of course. It’s regarding us.”

Roy tried to hide it but Riza could tell he was becoming even more confused.

“Yes?”

“Our paths have unfortunately never crossed in the past. There were various reasons for that, mostly tied with your parents.”

Roy’s head cocked to the side ever so subtly as he tried to put two and two together.

“I apologise for not coming forward to you sooner. I have my own reasons for that too, but wanted to apologise for not contacting you when I should have.” He looked and sounded sincere enough as he spoke.

“And when would that have been?” Riza was curious as to when he felt he “should” have reached out to her.

“News of your father’s passing reached me months afterwards. I thought that would’ve left you with no one, but I had no way of finding out where you were. Then Mustang breezed in and wouldn’t shut up about his wife and kid,” Grumman chuckled, gesturing towards Roy, who’d gone incredibly still. “And I overheard Lieutenant Catalina on the phone to you and say your name. I caught Mustang showing off a picture of his wife one time and finally recognised you.” He took a deep breath, meeting her gaze. “You look exactly like your mother.”

A lump suddenly formed inside Riza’s throat.

“So, I’ve been aware of you and your tie to Mustang for some time. And I’m sorry for not reaching out sooner.”

“Thank you, sir.” Her reply was even and polite. She held no grudge against this man, but she couldn’t trust him so easily. If he wanted to be a part of her life then he’d have to earn a place in it.

“I hear you have some wonderful children.” He shot her a toothy grin. “Congratulations, Riza. I’m extremely happy for you.”

At the mention of them, Riza’s stomach tightened but slowly loosened. Her expression softened and she nodded. “They are wonderful,” she agreed.

“I expect nothing in return,” Grumman reassured, lifting his hands as if surrendering. “Too much time may have passed, which I completely understand. But since I had the chance, I wanted to see you and speak to you at least once – and properly this time.”

“Thank you for that favour on the Promised Day,” Riza replied. “I really appreciated you trying to get through to Roy.”

“Of course,” he nodded. “It was the least I could do for my granddaughter.”

Finally, Roy clicked. His head had bowed to face the bed in silence but Riza knew his mind was moving a mile a minute, overflowing with questions. He wasn’t the only one, however, Riza had already dwelled on her musings about her grandfather years ago. It brought the questions back up to the surface, but she didn’t have the energy to be angry or upset at him for not contacting her. Like Grumman said, too much time had passed anyway. It was all in the past now.

“I hear Doctor Marcoh is here to see you,” Grumman announced, clearing his throat. “I’ll get going and let him get to work.”

Riza stood and approached her bed without a word. On the table beside it was her purse, which she reached for. Two pictures of their children were extracted from within and Riza turned to face her grandfather.

“Would you like to see your great grandchildren before you leave?”

He looked incredibly surprised by her offer. Riza may not have been able to trust him so easily but he’d reached out to her. He’d made an effort at least. Yes, it was late, and he may have some motive behind this meeting, but Riza would extend him the same courtesy he’d given her. She didn’t entirely trust his motives, but he’d acknowledged they were family and seemed genuine enough while discussing it. The least she could do in return was show him his great grandchildren.

Grumman nodded and Riza walked over to him. She handed the pictures over and heard him gasp. In the corner of his eyes there were tears, but they never fell.

“Mia and Maes,” Riza stated, pointing to each of them.

“They look like wonderful children,” he replied. His tone was respectful but held a hint of awe within it.

“They are,” Riza smiled fondly, gazing down at them.

“Thank you, Mrs. Mustang.” Grumman cleared his throat as he handed the pictures back to her. “I don’t expect anything in return, like I said, but I appreciate you showing these to me.”

Riza nodded and took them back from his outstretched hand.

“If you ever need anything,” he stressed, his sharp eyes meeting hers directly, “anything at all, you can give me a call. All right?”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Please, call me Grumman,” he insisted.

“Thank you, Grumman,” Riza nodded.

“I’ll be on my way. I’ll send Doctor Marcoh in. Take care of yourself, Mustang,” he called over Riza’s shoulder. Then, in a surprising move, he took her hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze. “You too, dear.”

Once he’d left, Riza returned to the chair by Roy’s bedside.

“He’s your grandfather?”

She wondered what Roy’s reaction would be. It seemed he had no clue about it either. His exclamation was incredulous.

“Yes,” Riza confirmed.

“But… How…” Roy floundered as he tried to find the words he needed. “When did you know?”

“I didn’t know for sure. When we were in Central on our little holiday after Mia was born and the staff announced there was a General Grumman on the phone waiting to speak to you, I made the connection with his name then. I’d never seen him before though. Seeing him now, he’s still the spitting image of the picture I glanced at once when I was a child.”

“…And he never contacted you before now?” Roy’s question had an edge to it. He was mildly affronted on her behalf.

Riza shook his head. “Not to my knowledge.”

“He knew your name,” Roy muttered quietly to himself. “I told him. Not your last name, admittedly, but he’d heard your first name and seen your picture. He even pestered me to marry his granddaughter before he knew I was married to you.” His brow furrowed deeper, his expression darkening. “And he still did nothing?”

Riza shrugged. She didn’t know what to say to him. “He said he had his reasons for that. I don’t know what they could possibly be, nor am I interested to find out.”

Roy fell silent for a few moments. “You don’t trust him, do you?”

“I don’t know him, so no. I wish I could, given he’s my last remaining older family member, but I can’t. I don’t trust his motives either. Not after his actions. Despite his genuine tone, there’s something about him that I can’t put my finger on.”

His head bobbed a few times as he absorbed her statement. “I can’t believe he never contacted you.”

Riza grimaced. “My family history is… tricky. From what I remember of it, anyway. It could be to do with that, however, I never held any grudge towards him. I never really knew him and was too young. My parents cut ties when I was a baby.”

There was a sudden pressure on her hand. Roy had placed his atop hers, covering it with his warmth and comfort.

“If he’s holding onto that feud, or whatever it was, after all this time, then I’m not sure I want to waste my time trying with him. If not…” she trailed off, still unsure. “Anyway,” Riza announced, steering the conversation away from her thoughts. “Sorry to burst your bubble about him.”

Roy snorted and scoffed. “He was the one who taught and encouraged me to always work to serve my own agenda. It doesn’t surprise me he was doing it for himself. I’m more concerned about you, though.” His expression looked slightly anxious. “Are you okay about all of this?”

“Grumman acknowledging my existence doesn’t take away anything from my life, nor does it add to it. I don’t know what I will do, or what I want, regarding a relationship with my grandfather. Quite frankly I don’t really want to consider it right now either. There’s more important things due to happen,” she smiled, “like you getting your eyesight back.”

“I know, but… Well, whatever you decide, I will support you. No matter what.”

Riza smiled at him. She tapped the back of his hand with her finger three times and leaned in to kiss his cheek. “Thank you, Roy.”

“Of course,” he replied simply. “You’re welcome, Riza.”

Their conversation ended there as someone knocked on the door.

“Come in,” Riza called.

Doctor Marcoh poked his head around the door and looked at them expectantly. “Are you ready to begin the procedure, Colonel?”

[harley-sunday]

What Comes Around...

Summary: Chris is shocked to learn you’ve never seen A Charlie Brown Christmas before. Turns out that’s not the only thing he’s shocked about. 

Pairing: Chris Evans x reader (unnamed OFC)

Warnings: Language. As always. But mostly fluff. And a very sassy reader.

Word count: 550

AN: Part of the Chaotic Vibes series where sometimes when Chris posts something on Instagram I write a little something to go along with it. Very short, but hope you like it :) 

Chaotic Vibes Masterlist

"Shit, shit, shit, shit," you curse quietly under your breath as you speed walk through the hallway, a little louder once you enter the bedroom, rushing over to him while trying not to spill anything, "very hot. Please take it."

Instead he throws his head back and laughs.

"Evans," you say through gritted teeth, holding out the mug to him, "take. It."

He does then and carefully places it on his nightstand, waiting for you to round the bed and sit down on your side again before he hits play and A Charlie Brown Christmas continues right where it left off once you finally gave in to Chris’ pleas about wanting some hot cocoa. With whipped cream, of course.

Somehow you've also managed to balance a tiny bowl of whipped cream for Dodger on top of your mug and once you call the dog over he's at your side in an instant, eagerly lapping at the treat. When he's done he lies back down next to Chris' feet, no doubt enjoying the heat that's radiating off of the fireplace.

You try to watch the movie, really you do, because you know it's one of Chris' favorites and when, this morning, he found out you'd never seen it before he insisted on watching it right away, but you can't help looking at the snow that keeps falling, slowly turning everything white. It looks so peaceful and you decide you'll make the boys go for a walk once the movie's done. 

Just as you're about to tell Chris your plan you feel his hand cup your left boob over your sweater. With one eyebrow raised you look down at his hand before you throw Chris a look, "What the-"

"You're too far away," he mutters quietly but with a mischievous grin, "need you closer." 

"And this is the way to go about that?" You let out a laugh, "Try to remember that when I grab you by the family jewels next time I want your attention." 

He opens his mouth to say something but seems a little lost for words and so he just stares at you in shock.

“What comes around, goes around, babe,” you say with a wink and a shrug, before you put your hand over his and give it a gentle squeeze. He's fast, you gotta give him that, and you can't help but let out a shriek when suddenly he's over on your side and has pulled you on top of him before he rolls back to his side of the bed and pins you underneath him.

His mouth finds yours in an instant, his teeth tugging on your bottom lip in a way that makes you part your lips while a moan escapes you, all plans for that walk long forgotten. 

When he pulls back you chase after him but he's turned his head, looking over his shoulder, his voice rough when he says, "Dodger, bench."

The poor dog looks utterly bewildered and a little disappointed he doesn't get to join this afternoon's playtime, but does as he's told and sees himself to the living room, albeit very slowly.

You can't help but laugh at Dodger's attitude but then Chris' lips are on yours again and next thing you know he's grinding his hips and the last coherent thought you have is that you'll happily let your chocolate milk go cold for this.

[iguessweallcrazyithinktho]

Boomerang

Request: Can I request Chris Evans x Reader age gap where its her 10 high school reunion and back in high school she was over weight and was teased for it. Now she isnt and is engaged to Chris, but at the reunion she gets told by like an ex boyfriend an ex friend that Chris will leave her if she gets her weight back. Chris over hears this and is upset by it. Also could they make a remark like she is gaining weight again but she is pregnant like three months with a tiny bump (Maybe smut) Thank you

Warning: angst, smut(oral, female receiving) fluff

Pairing: Chris Evans x reader

Word count: 1.4k

Author note: accidentally posted this earlier, so posting again

Masterlists

Please don't post any of my content anywhere else without my permission. Comments and reblogs welcome!

You looked at your old high school as it came into view. You haven't been back there since you were 18 and honestly you wouldn't be here if Chris didn't persuade you.

Lots of painful memories came out of high school. you were overweight and unpopular. You got bullied most of your 4 years, and once your ex best friend became head of the cheer team, she turned on you. You really aren't sure why you agreed to come back to this hell hole, but here you were.

"Okay, we're here baby," you snapped out of your daze and looked out of the windshield. People were everywhere, Somewhere familiar. You exhaled loudly, you were really doing this. Chris took your hand from your thigh and brought it to his lips, placing a kiss on it. "You ready?" You smiled and nodded. "Ready as I'll ever be."

Chris let go of your hand and opened his door. You grabbed your things, while Chris walked to your side and opened the door for you. You got out and cradled your bump, a habit you're starting to pick up. Chris shut the door for you and walked with you hand and hand.

You felt eyes on you as you both walked. Honestly you weren't sure if they were for you or Chris, but you brushed it off. You both entered the building and you greeted your old teachers. When you finished Chris was no longer behind you, he was talking to someone. You decided to let him talk with that person, so you walked away.

You spotted a snack and instantly was drawn towards it. You craving since you got pregnant were through the roof so every time you saw food you needed to eat. You walked up to the table and picked up some food. Turning around you were about to leave, but someone stopped you. "Y/n."

You looked up and saw your ex best friend. She had a smug look on her face and her arms were crossed. "Always eating huh." You gaze down at the food now hating that you got it.

"Wow, I really thought when you left high school you would stop eating everything." She scoffed out.

Chris was walking up to you both, but stopped when he heard the word that came out of her mouth. You couldn't see him because you were too short compared to her.

"I guess you're stuck in your old ways. Honestly don't know why you got a hot, sexy guy like Chris. I mean seriously look at you," she pointed to you making you look down at your body. "You're already fat. Chris is going to leave you for someone better, someone like me." She proceeded to do a spin, but stopped when she saw Chris.

"Omg hi." Her whole demeanor changed. She stuck out her hand for Chris to shake, but he shook his head and walked to you. He wrapped his arms around your waist. "I don't know what makes you think I want to be with someone like you. I'm fucking Happy with who I'm with, and she's not fat, she's pregnant with my child so maybe think before you judge."

Chris pulled you away before she could respond. He walked you outside to the car before he said anything to you. "You okay baby?" You nodded, but Chris knew you weren't okay. He felt so stupid bring you here especially after you didn't want to come. "Let's go home."

He opened the door for you and you got in. Chris got in the driver's seat and drove off. You didn't feel like looking at him. What if she's right, what if Chris does leave you for someone better. You aren't hot like a model or anything. You were an average woman.

You and Chris rode in silence. Chris wanted to say something, but he didn't want to ruin anything by saying something. You both arrived home and you quickly got out of the car. Chris groaned and got out. "Y/n, baby." You entered the house, Chris followed you calling your name. "Baby, I'm sorry I shouldn't have brought you there, please don't be mad at me." You turned around and faced him. You were on the verge of tears. "I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at her. She made me upset. She made me feel horrible just like when I was in school. That's why I didn't want to go." You turned around and walked to your bedroom, Chris followed you. You sat down at the end of the bed and took off your heels.

"Y/n she's an asshole. I will never leave you for someone else, I'm happy with you. You're pregnant with my child and that makes me so happy. Please don't take her words too far." You turned to him breathing out. "I'm not, I'm just… I just don't understand how she was my friend and then she turns on me." You laughed under your breath. "Such an asshole." Chris sat beside you. "I don't know. But uh, I'll always be your best friend if you want, unless this little bean-," he placed his hand on your growing bump. "Take that spot. In that case I'm fine with it." You smiled and turned to your husband. "Well he might." Chris cocked his head to the side. "You think it's a boy?"

You sucked in some air. "Yeah, I want a boy because he would turn out just like you and treat a woman with so much love and that will make me so happy." You smiled at Chris. He put his hand on your face, pulling you both together until your lips joined. You deepen the kiss by swinging your legs over his. Chris placed his hand on your hips, continuing to kiss you. Your tongue slipped into his mouth, running over his teeth before it found Chris's tongue. You moaned softly before pulling away for some air. Chris piercing blue eyes looked up at you with hunger. "Damn baby, I want to fuck you so good." Chris picked you up and turned you around so that you were sitting on the bed. You laid back onto the bed and watched as Chris hooked his hand into your belt hole and pulled down your pants. He tossed them on the ground and pushed your thighs open. He kneeled in between them placing kisses on your thighs. His lips moved up to your bump placing a few kisses on it. You smiled down at him causing him to smile at you. He moved back in between your thighs peering down at your soaked panties. "All this for me baby?" You nodded. "All for you Chris."

Chris hooked his fingers in your panties elastic band and pulled it to the side before latching His mouth on your pussy. You moaned loudly, throwing your head back. The sound of his mouth on your pussy turned you on even more. You ran your hands in his hair pushing him close. Chris swirled his tongue around your clit before he sucked. "Chris, that feels so good." A little whimper left the end of your sentence. You looked down at him, he was lapping at your fold, tasting all your juice on his tongue. A few moans left his lips sending it straight to your clit. "You taste so good."

Chris pushed two of his fingers into your dripping core. You let out a whine. "Does that feel good baby? You like my fingers in your tight pussy?"

"Yes, fuck!" You let go of his head and gripped the stripped comfort under you. "Oh, Chris I'm going to cum. Make cum. Chris gently held your thighs open with one hand, he sucked more hard on your bundle of nerves and thrust his fingers in you. You loud moans and curse filled the room. You started to chant his name as your orgasm washed over you.

Chris flicked his tongue over the nerves fast, it made your legs shake. "Uhh, okay stopped." Chris pulled his fingers out of you and stood up. You did the same, climbed up higher so that your back was pressed against the headboard. Chris walked up to the side of the bed with your panties. "You might want these back." You shook your head. "Keep em Evans. I know you want to." Chris smirked at you and put them in his pocket.

He laid on the bed and rested his head near your bump. "Hi baby, I want to tell how much I love your mommy for letting me have her panties. "You gasped. "Chris!"

"Okay, okay fine. I'll just tell you how much I love your mommy." He looked up at you with a smile which you returned.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭ 。.・

@chris-butt @princess-evans-addict @patzammit @bval-1 @irespostthingsiwanttoseelater @raveviolet @rynabarnesrogers-reading @enn-j @london-dreamer71 @harrysthiccthighss @captainamerica-is-bae @la-cey @weirdowithnobeardo @lovepeacefood @baby-i-am-fireproof @denisemarieangelina @evans713 @smyfmj @thereisa8ella @jillanaholland @rororo06 @briannab1234 @keiva1000 @ughitsnic @kianifan @adriannajackson

[calypsoff]

Sixty Two. Part 3

I laughed out at my mother texting me; she is screaming in my messages that she saw me on the news. Locking my phone still smiling, how life has changed me and fast, I was just a nobody and came out of jail and now I’m front row at the Grammys, sitting next to my pregnant wife that just so happen to be Rihanna, to me that is wild because I am with Rihanna but when I say Robyn I feel better. I am sat on a row with famous people, very famous people but like Jay Z is sat on the row behind us, I would assume that he would have been sat in front but here I am, a normal nigga sat front row “what was you laughing at?” Robyn finally finished gossiping, I thought I would have left her to it and let her finish her little conversation “my mom’s text me screaming about seeing me on TV, saying how proud she is and how beautiful you look. She is doing the most, so I was laughing at that” I’m still in disbelief that I’m sat here “I love Joyce, she is so cute” rolling my eyes as Robyn said that because my mother be doing the most “so when you performing? I am only here for you, team Rihanna?” Robyn poked her lips out and placed her hand in mine “I am performing soon, and then again later in the show, don’t worry it won’t be that boring. You’re here for me” shaking my head “I don’t find it boring; I find it do surreal. Like that I am here with you, I think when I see this and I see the love you get, to see people go crazy over you it comes back to me that you’re not just anyone, to me you’re Robyn you know that but when I am here seeing what I am seeing, you’re so loved. It’s amazing to see the love you get” Robyn cooed out “oh and I saw your ex in the back, look like he got slapped in the face” Robyn would look behind her to check, she is stupid “can’t see being that far back, only losers sit in the back” Robyn is right.

Clapping my hands as Frank Ocean won an award, this is very much draining like seeing the people go up and collect their award and so, and so on. I am just waiting for Robyn to get her ass on stage, feeling a kiss to my cheek and then Robyn wiped my cheek. Looking over at Robyn grinning “I am super proud of you; you have really just supported me and just been there for me. Also put up with me” biting on my bottom lip “having to put up with the both of you” placing my hand on her bump “hey, the baby is the innocent one here. Just me, I have been very much emotional and doing the most and I know that I have and you have put up with me” nodding my head slowly, this photographer and camera crew just came right in front of us “just act normal” Robyn said in a whisper looking at the stage, she said act normal but I ended up looking into the camera licking my lips, is it live or something, but I mean the camera would be facing Frank not me. Everyone started clapping and then so did I, I have no idea what they were saying but the camera left, and the photographer remained “quick picture he said” looking at Robyn “sir, you” looking at him “oh” I smiled awkwardly “I will be going now to get ready to perform, just stay here. Rorrey will be out ok? Rich is here” nodding my head “kill it out there” pressing a kiss to her lips as she got up from the seat, watching Robyn walk off. Her booty has definitely come out and I am not even complaining “you’re my sister husband?” looking down the row seeing Kaye speaking to me “erm yeah” I said smiling “yeah, yeah. You treat my sister good” nodding my head agreeing.

Putting up two fingers at the camera as Rorrey took a picture of us “I really find these award shows boring unless my sister is winning something, they drag. Three hours for what, like what the fuck am I doing with myself. Shall I send this to you, or you just repost?” Rorrey asked “I will repost, and I know. I understand now, I am like wen is this ending but Robyn is coming out soon, like now?” I am sure she is; I think LL Cool J is announcing Robyn on the stage “she seemed nervous to you?” all I do is speak through people’ speech but I be bored “erm no, she was excited. I think she said because it’s her last for a while, she is going to enjoy it and have fun. But people in this place are fake bro, you got to know this shit. They aren’t real, they are just full of shit. It’s all a game, Robyn just keeps herself to herself and it’s the best way you know” Rorrey is right, and I do believe him when he says it “oh I think it’s Robyn’ turn” I pointed out “right now one of the biggest popstars on planet earth, and possibly elsewhere. Please welcome Rihanna” LL Cool J said, my smile grew and the screams from around the place was sharp, clapping my hands as the paino played the intro. Squinting my eyes to see what she is wearing because I don’t see her wearing ref “she is wearing black” I pointed, her bump looks so hidden unless you look from the side “she looks so good” I smiled, I know personally she was nervous about this. That is really my wife on that stage “woo!” I shouted clapping; I am about to make all the noise.

“Not really sure how to feel about it, something in the way you move” I sang along with Robyn, I mean of course I would. That is my wife, and I am her biggest fan “she looks so amazing” I am super proud of her, standing up as soon as her last note finished “yes Robyn!” I clapped my hands loudly as I could, the crowd gradually joined in. A standing ovation and Robyn stood there awkwardly as she put her head down, not knowing where to put her face. She is feeling shy, and I do not blame her. She bowed her head and turned off “where does she go now?” I asked, do I go there to meet her or wait here “she will go backstage to get changed or come back here in just the new outfit” sitting back down, I just want to know that she is ok. That is what means the most to me, sitting back down on the seat “Robyn is invited to the afterparty, but she said she is going to decline but I really want her to go, she was already complaining about being tired” that sounds about right with Robyn, to complain about being tired already. So is Robyn coming back out or not, I am not even sure now, but I got Rorrey here with me.

Robyn and Rorrey changed places, she is back finally “took your time” Robyn is still wearing the black dress, she huffed out “I was so nervous actually, so nervous that I was sick backstage” my eyes widened, she didn’t seem it “really? You was that nervous? You didn’t seem it at all, are you ok?” how could I not notice that, but she looked fine “I have perfected the art of looking just fine Chris so don’t worry about it, I got on with it and I did it, what you think, did I do well?” nodding my head “amazing, a little scratchy here and there” she hit my arm as I laughed out “I am joking, stop it” shaking my head, Robyn and I are so deep in conversation that we didn’t realise that Rakim is on stage, for what exactly I am not sure. That nigga is tiny as hell “how you date a man so short?” I had to say it “because I didn’t wear heels when around him” good answer, I guess “here are the nominees for best contemporary album” he said “oh god, really. I hope I don’t win now” Robyn sat back “what do you mean?” she was going to turn to me but there is a camera right there “is this your category?” she nodded her head, this is messy. I feel like this was done on purpose, frowning at the screen trying not to scowl too much but this is fucked up.

The crowd clapped as the videos ended “lot of good contenders in this category” I will knock his little ass out “and the winner is” clenching my jaw hoping my praying she misses out, I rather she misses out then her go up there to that nigga. I am annoyed as hell “the beautiful Rihanna” I sighed out, it would be her. Looking over at Robyn as I got up and clapped my hands, clapped more in anger then anything “congratulations” I said as Robyn hugged me, I guess she got to put a show on now. Robyn walked off to go to the stage but there is steps she needs to go up, going around the cameraman and going up behind Robyn “let me help you up” I said, holding Robyn’ hand as I walked up the steps with her “thank you baby” not going to lie I am sweating knowing everyone is staring, jogging back down the steps and making my way back to the seat. Looking behind me, Robyn gave him a hug, she hugged him. I hate that nigga, sitting down in a huff “wow, another Grammy” she giggled “thank you, I just want to thank my team. They have been tirelessly working day and night for me, to get this album out I had to move the team in the home, and it was a different feel. I want to thank god for blessing me in so many ways” she pointed at her bump, the crowd cheered “and my husband for putting up with my hard working schedule and the moments where I am away and having to deal with a lot. He made me a mother and a wife all in one and I think this is a good maternity leave present” Robyn laughed “thank you” clapping as she walked off.

Pulling a face seeing Rorrey “you back again?” where the hell is Robyn “she is performing again nigga, you got me. Smile” side eyeing him, it’s a break right now “I was about to go and see some of the OVO niggas” Robyn probably couldn’t be bothered to come back out after the award collecting, making my way towards Drake “you walk so slow, like the break is literally over. So are you coming to the afterparty?” Drake asked “erm no, I don’t think I will be. Why, anything good happening” I mean he did ask “just was asking, so what do you think to you coming to Canada, play some basketball and hang out. Kyrie is coming, we can just hang out? Also I have some gear for you too, pick it up” that sounds so good “your house is dope as hell, I am coming. You know that I will, and if Kyrie is there I am there, I don’t want to break your ankles now. I need some real ass basketball platers” Drake pushed me “shut up, it was one mistake but cool. I will text you the date, better sit back down now” they starting again, I kind of get what Rorrey means by this shit being so long because I am tired as hell, this is for Robyn of course.

Squinting my eyes, there is Bruno and some white man on stage, and I refuse to get up because I just like to see Robyn. Bopping my head and Rorrey laughed out “I noticed it, you always start moving when the camera comes around” I chuckled “you notice, I just need to look happy. These shoes are hurting my feet too, I think Robyn is coming out. Getting up seeing my beautiful wife, she has arrived to make the stage even better. I wolf whistled “she looks amazing” bopping my head smiling, I probably look so whipped, but I don’t care “could you be loved” I sang, this is actually amazing that I have forgotten about my feet hurting. Squinting my eyes, Robyn better calm her ass down dancing like that on stage “she ain’t letting no baby get in the way” Rorrey said, he is right, but she needs to not do that, but she is.

It took me forever to get backstage, like so fucking long. They wouldn’t let me or even Rorrey there until weird enough, Jay Z helped us. He was like I know these two, the security guard was racist, I am just saying that. He knew who we was, he tried to make out we can only be in the crowd like I was a damn fan, I was getting annoyed and then Rorrey was too until Jay just came out of nowhere and said one word, now we here “I was calling you, what happed?” she is calling me but there I was trying to get here “little sis, we was trying too. Security was trying to make out we was fans, Jay had to help us” sitting down next to Robyn “aint there no slides here? My feet hurt” leaning down untying my laces “don’t do that, honestly it makes it worse. Just let’s go home, there is no slides here” I guess she has a point “you had to hug your ex?” I had to say it “it was not a hug, it was more like a awkward one, just a side one. I had too, I gave the other guy a hug, it was nothing. I literally gave you a shoutout so don’t” she has a point, but I dislike that nigga “true but I just want to say, how proud I am of Robyn, she killed it out there and then won an awards, now it’s time for you to relax. Enjoy the pregnancy, it’s your time twin” placing my arm around her “awww thank you poppa” besides that shit I am proud of Robyn.

[shereadsandwritesformelanin]

The Baker And Her Actor: part III [The Beach Date!]

Paring: Chris Evans x Black Fem! Reader

Summary: You meet Chris while making a house delivery for the Evans. He can’t get you off his mind and to be honest, neither can you.

Warnings: profanity, sexual content, angst, but overall fluff.

Notes: I hope you guys enjoy! If you have any requests feel free to share those!!

Previous Part(s) → (1) (2)

-

“Baby it’s you!”

“You’re the one I love.”

“You’re the one I need!”

“You’re the only one I see!”

“Come in baby it’s you!”

You prance around your kitchen singing your heart out to Beyoncé’s love on top. The past few days you and Chris had been communicating frequently.

It made you feel some type of way and put you in a chipper mood.

Since you had a day off you decided to treat yourself to a nice warm stack of pancakes, fluffy scrambled eggs, and crispy (vegan) bacon.

A perfect way to start a weekend morning.

Flipping the last pancake and plating it you shuffled over to your living room, Haneli hot in persuit.

Today was a relaxation day, and you wanted to watch some quality movies.

Over the past few days of your texting spell with Chris he never much mentioned his work. I mean here and there he brought up but we barley discussed it as if he wasn’t proud.

So this morning you were gonna dedicate this to watching one of his many projects.

“Chris Evans.” You command into your remote.

Error.

“Chris Evans!” You shout

The screen showed many of his different films, all looked absolutely amazing but one stood out amoung them all.

The one where he held a little blonde girl on his shoulder and had a similar scruff on his face.

Gifted.

If the title didn’t grab you the plot definitely did.

“Play gifted.”

“Playing gifted.” Your smart television obeyed.

Just when you were going to trade it in.

-

You were just now finishing the movie and you were blown away.

You never thought about how much went into being an actor. Being able to convey those emotions onto the screen allowing the audience to feel them. Chris, he did just that.

Should you text him?

You decide to make the first move. Picking up your phone you click his contact, and begin typing.

Y/n: Goodmorning, I just saw one of your films. It was amazing :).

The Captain: Really, which one? Also goodmorning to you too!

Y/n: Gifted, and of course you’re amazing!

The Captain: Dont make me ink y/n. 💙

Another adorable Disney reference.

Before you could respond, your phone began to ring the contact image of Chris popping up on your screen.

Why was he calling you?!

I mean of course you all had text, but text can be motified unlike phone conversations.

Just answer dumb ass!

“Hello.” You sqeak

“Good morning.” Chris gumbles, it was obvious he’d just woken up by the rasp in his voice.

“H-how are you?” You stammer

“I’m okay just a bit tired.’ He yawns “better now that you’re on the phone.”

You were silence. Butting youre upper lip not sure what to say next.

His flirt game was strong and always caught you off gaurd.

“You there?” Chris questions

“Yes I’m here, sorry. I don’t want to keep you if your sleepy.”

“No it’s okay- I actually wanted to ask you something.” Chris reassures

“What is it?” You muse.

“Will you go on a date with me?’ Maybe tomorrow evening, if that works for you.” Chris queried.

You could have sworn your heart skipped a beat. This was the moment you’d been waiting for but was so terrified of its arrival.

When was the last time you even went on a date?

“Y/n, your making me nervous.”

“Sorry, i’d love to.” You trilled

“Great, pick your up at 7 tomorrow.!” Chris elated.

You could hear his pure excitement through the phone.

Youem were excited but nun the less nervous.

Shit what am I going to wear?

-

Saturday Evening - A.K.A “Date Night”

“Okay so you got this dress and I’m thinking we need to ensintuate your shoulders and colleebones as much as possible.” Kiara explains.

She rushes through Pinterest to find hair inspiration. Some your like some you aren’t quite fond of. You wanted to look your best for him.

“What about this one?” Kiara inquires showing you a beautiful and delicate up-do.

You take her phone to get a better look, zooming in on all the intricate details of the style. “I love it! It definitely screams first date vibes, should I even call it a date or a hang out.” You mumble.

“Girl gets some confidence.’ Kiara lectures. “He asked you on a date because you’re hot and his intrested take it with pride, he’ll love you, and if he doesn’t I do.” Planting a firm kiss on your temple.

“Thanks.” You coo.

Kiara begins to fumble in your hair, pinning it up and fluffing it’s often. “So where is he taking you?’ She quipped. “Somewhere nice I hope.”

“Well he hasn’t exactly told me.”

You feel her stop fiddling around in your hair. “So you don’t know?”

You nod your head.

“Hm, a man of mystery,That should be fun.” Kiara mused.

Shifting weight in your seat from the pressure of sitting for a while, your breath out. “I hope so.”

“Let’s find you something sexy to wear.” Kiara offered.

-

You both decide on a emerald green slip dress and a gold layered necklace, topping it off with a casual leather jacket.

“You look amazing girl, I need a picture.” Kiara praises.

You twirl around posing dramatically with various poses. Kiara snaps pictures hyping you up with each pose you perform.

“Come look at these.” Kiara hypes

Damn you do look good.

“Can you send these to me?”

Kiara nods her head.

Just when you were slipping on your shoes the doorbell rings. Your clock reads 7 o’clock.

Prompt.

You hurry toward the hallway mirror you had hanging on the wall, giving your hair one last fluff before opening the door.

The door swings open and there he was in all his glory.

He looked ravishing.

He wore a silver chain necklace, a black knitted sweater paired with heather grey saude pants and carmel shoes.

He held a bouquet of beautiful flower. Assortments of different pinks, red, and whites.

So he listens.

“Wow, you look stunning.” Chris praises

“You as well.’ I can take those, at least I hope they’re for me.” You giggle

“Oh yes, of course. Can I Uh set them up for you?” Chris ask rubbing the back of his neck.

“Yes.”

You open up the doorway even more allowing him in. Guiding him toward your kitchen. A short trip considering you live in a small loft.

“Vases are up top.” You instruct

Chris nods, reaching up to grab one of your many vases.

When he stretched up his shirt untucked revealing a lower back tattoo.

God this man has tattoos as well.

You couldn’t help but stare not only was it intresting but it was really hot as well.

Chris peaks his head over his shoulder catching your gaze in his peripheral.

Shit.

“See something you like?” Chris teases a cocky smirk painted on his face.

You drop your head biting your bottom lip. You’d been caught and the man sure knows how to make you nervous.

I was starting to believe he did that on purpose.

Suddenly you notice Kiara hiding behind the slight wall that separated the kitchen and the living space.

“What are you doing?!” You mouth.

She smirks. Then begins to suggestively dry hump the air and make satisfied faces. “Introduce me.” She mouths back

You roll you eyes giving in, motioning for her to come over.

She smiles in victory, brushing down her outfit quickly.

“So y/n before you leave- oh I’m sorry I didn’t know you were here.” Kiara lies

From anyone who didn’t know who the actors was in the room, they’d think it was Kiara how well she put on an act.

You stare at her hoping she didn’t go overboard.

“Oh erm, hello.” Chris greeted

“We were just living, Kiki I love you and I see you later!”

You hoped Chris got the message, luckily he did.

He quickly dried his hands, shooting a small smile and wave to Kiara then followed you out your home.

“Which one your?” You ponder.

Beep beep.“That one.”

You watched the interior light of a black mid size audi light up.

Sometime you forget he’s rich. He definitely didn’t like to show, one of the many things you like about him.

“Shall we?” Chris says his arm out for you to interlopp.

You smile up at him gripping his arm, feeling the heat rise up to your cheeks.

-

The car ride was anything but queit. The two of you laughed and told embarrassing stories of your childhoods.

“Wait so you actually peed on a guy in your class in sixth grade?”

“True story, I couldn’t hold it!” You retort giggling

“Wow you beat me.’Chris says. “we are almost there it’s just up this way, one of my favorite things to do.”

“So I get to go to a special place?”

“Must mean something, right.” Chris stated, giving you those damn eyes again.

The way he stared at you with so much sencerity made you crave him even more. He was passionate you could tell.

-

“Okay no peaking.” Chris instructs pilling you out of the car shutting the door after you.

“Okay.” You obeyed.

Chris walked you through a seemingly long and tangled path. His big hands covering your ears the whole time.

Eventually he stopped guiding you and removed his hands.

“Is it safe to open?” You asked softly

“Yes you can open now, even though definitely saw you peaking.” Chris teased

“I was not!” You bicker like a child

Finally you allow your eyes to flutter open. Immediately your jaw drops at what you saw before you.

It was the Boston harborwalk, but lit up. The place looked so alive.

There was everything. Fun games, food, and even a Ferris wheel.

“Chris this is amazing.’ You gasp in excitement. “It’s- it’s beautiful I - can we go now!”

“I figured you’d love it, and yes let’s get going.” Chris spoke holding his hand out for your reach.

You comply shyly intertwining you tiny fingers with his. The heat rising to your cheeks, and the butterflies bubbling in your pit again.

You finally reach the boardwalk. Enamored by all the lights and fun that surrounds you can’t help but bounce from booth to booth like a young child on Christmas Day.

“Slow down dont wanna have to put a lease on you.” Chris pesteres

You playfully slap his chest with the back of your hand.

God he was muscular and firm.

Nope not going there y/n stop.

“Oh hush, this is fun!’ You piped. “What should we do next?”

“I was thinking the Ferris wheel?” Chris suggested.

-

Chris’s Point Of View:

The night wasn’t even close together and it was already going so well.

Y/n was perfect, practically an angel.

I could tell she was breaking out shell, showing more of her personality she’d been so afraid to show me.

It was great. I loved how excited she got about the smallest things, how she was a good sport and didn’t fuss over loosing games.

Through all my relationships I’ve craved to have someone like y/n and here she was and she was so great.

Gosh get a grip meatball can’t be falling in love on date one.

Finally we get up to the top of the Ferris wheel, stopping so we could get a great view of Boston.

I watched as you leaned over on the side just enough not to tip over but to get a good view.

How your y/c eyes lit up just like the city below us, the curls that rested on your forehead dancing in the wind.

Perfect.

I pull out my phone opening the camera settings.

I snap a quick photo of you. You just looked so peaceful.

Shit my flash!

My eyes go wide, embarrassed that I’d just been acting like a certified creep ten seconds ago.

She turns to face me comfusion readable on her face.

“Um y/n I’m sorry I- I just thought you looked beautiful.” I stammered.

She slips her tiny hand into mine giving me a small smile.

“Can I at least see it.” She asks

-

We leave the carnvial to go to another beautiful location I wanted to show y/n.

This could quite literally brighten her night.

“It’s just this way.” I instruct holding her hand helping her down the pathway to the beach.

“Are you taking me somewhere to kill me.” She jokes

“Sweetheart if I wanted to kill you, it would have already been done.”

I hear her let out small chuckle underneath her breath.

She trusted me.

“We’re here.” I announce

Her eyebrows raise as she looks around observing nothing but a bland beach.“We’re where?” She ponders

I pick up a small rock tossing it in my hand. “Okay now you’re scaring me.” She says slowly backing away.

“Don’t be.”

With that I threw the rock down on the sand allowing the bioluminescent plankton to give off their blue hue.

I hear the fimaliar gasp escape y/n’s lips as she’d done all night in excitement.

“Chris! What is this?”she quipped

“Bioluminescent planktons, I discovered these a while back when I was having a not good day and needed a walk. Cheered me up immediately.” I explain

Walking toward my side her eyes never leave the ground. “Wow this is astonishing.” She states

“You wanna see something else?” I ask a devient smirk planted on my face.

“You’re just full of surprises.”

“You have no idea.” I returned.

I grab her hand leading her over to the shoreline. “Take off your shoes.” I instruct

She does just that waiting for further instruction.

“You see this.” I say pointing down to the water.

“See what?”

“This!” I smirk lightly splashing her with water

Please be into it.

I watched as she stood there for a moment, mouth agape wiping the salt water off her face.

My heartbeat sped up hoping she wouldn’t curse me out and storm off.

“Oh really that’s what you wanna do?” She said smirking peeling her leather jacket off.

“Yeah that’s what I wanna do.” I mock rolling my arm and pants legs up.

“Fine but I was I raised off avatar and have a strong belief I’m a waterbender.” She jokes

Finally she splashes me immediately damping my sweater.

I’m impressed that she was able to get the much water on my with her small hands.

I attempt to return the favor but she runs away giggling.

I chase after her effortlessly catching up, scooping her in my arms bridle style.

“Stop, stop I’m sorry put me down.” She stammers laughing loudly.

“Nope only soaking you will do for forgiveness.” I say carrying her to the spot with our belongings.

“But Chris I just had wash day.” She pouts

“Wash day?” I question.

“You’re too cute, and caucasian.” She replied

“Cute huh?” I tease.

There she goes again hanging her head low and avoiding eye contact, she was so adorable.

“You know what I want.” I stays breaking the silence

“What’s that?”

“Ice cream.” I say

-

Finally we pull up at an ice cream parlor that looks like it was plucked straight out of the fifties.

I notice you began to shiver. It was late at night and the cool Boston breeze was now turning into a chilling freeze.

Should I do it? Will she be comfortable?

Making sure not to startle her, I cautiously wrap my arm around her shoulders pulling her into me, hopping to add some type of warmth to her body.

She just smiles up at me leaning her head into my shoulder. She fit into my side like a puzzle. I let the tropical sent of her hair infuse my lungs.

God she smelt great.

We get up to the glass display of ice cream. It was so colorful with so many different assortments of flavors I didn’t know which one to pick.

You were bent over peaking through the glass. Squinting trying to decide which ice cream flavor to choose from.

“Decided yet?” I ask

“I think so, can I have the chunky monkey suprise.” She asks the waitress.

The waitress nods grabbing a warm scooper for dig out your flavor. “What about you. what’s your take?” She asks me retrieving her ice cream.

“I think I’ll have what your having.”

“Good choice.” She playfully sasses

I watch her walk over to grab us a a few napkins and extra spoons.

Thoughtful.

“Sir.” The cashier says holding my ice cream for me. “Sorry, how much?” I ask.

“It’ll be $5.78.” The cashier resports.

I dig into my wallet pulling out one of my many cards handing it over to the cashier.

I felt your brown eyes burning into me, watching me.

I wasn’t sure if it was a good thing that you were or a bad thing that you were.

“Let’s go, it late and im sure you work tomorrow.”

“Yes I do.” She mutters almost pouting.

We walk to my car. Reaching it I press the unlock butting watching the inside light up.

[CLICK FOR Part III CONTINUED HERE!]

-

Tag List:

@toniilaney​

[et-lesailes]

libertine

pairing: ari levinson x reader

themes: smut :)

word count: 1040

summary: you and ari decide to go scuba diving. naked. is more information needed?

taglist: @viarogers, @evanstush, @chibi-crazy, @chalamet-evans, @world-of-losers,@songforhema

note: requested by anonymous //  i made this a little short but this was definitely a fun, v out of the box request and was very funny to see in my inbox, so thank you for the smile ‘nonnie lmaoo

** please send an ask if you would like to be added to my taglist of any chris evans related fics!

You could not believe you and Ari were doing this, though at the same time, it really was not surprising that it was you two. 

“You guys are fuckin’ crazy,” Sammy said with an amused chuckle, shaking his head as he watched the two of you strip down completely naked on the boat. It was true; most agents were quite the daredevils to begin with, but you and Ari tended to have the most fun with your more thrill-seeking sides. “You’re just jealous you’re stuck up here on the boat,” Ari retorted playfully with a little grin, running his hand through his hair before looking over at you. “Looking good, sexy.” You rolled your eyes fondly, nudging the man who had become your friend with benefits over the past few weeks during your stay. After all, you guys needed some way to relieve tension from the pressure that came with the mission. “You’re not looking too bad yourself, Levinson.”

He helped you put on your equipment, the cheeky little bastard allowing himself to cop a feel whenever he could, whether it be by groping your ass or squeezing your breasts; when he blatantly pinched your sensitive nipple, you squealed with a little giggle as you playfully pushed him away. “Will you stop? We’re not about to have sex underwater.”

“Hm. I wasn’t even thinking that far, but that thought is very intri-”

“Ari, are we doing this or not?”

“Hell, yeah. Let’s go, sugar.”

With that, the two of you jumped into the water, your equipment intact and your goggles securely fastened, diving deep into the crystal blue waters filled with all types of thriving sea life. 

__________________________

Just like it was not surprising that you and Ari had voluntarily gone scuba diving in the nude, it was also not surprising that he now had you riding him on the damn driver’s seat of the dive boat now pulled up to shore, Sammy having left a long time ago. 

“Fuck, babe,” he groaned loudly with his head tilted back, and you gasped in pleasure as he bucked his hips harder upwards, though looked at him with a breathless giggle. “Mm…. Ari, not too loud…” you reminded him through moans, though it was difficult for you yourself to refrain from practically screaming from how good it felt to be bouncing on his thick cock-- especially after such an adrenaline rush from your latest adventure together. “I don’t care,” he growled with a weak smirk, hands squeezing your waist to move you up and down even faster. Let this entire damn hotel know… what a good fuck you are… and how goddamn lucky I am for being able to fuck you.” Your moans grew louder upon hearing his words, breathing heavier from excitement as you placed your hands on his chest for more support, your bare breasts bouncing as your pace increased. He couldn’t help but treat himself, leaning in and sloppily sucking on one of your breasts, teeth pulling at your nipple making you let out a breathy, higher pitched whimper from the sensitivity. His hands, meanwhile, were moving down to your ass to cup and squeeze roughly, swatting so hard you were sure your cheeks would be bright red by the morning; whether you would actually make it to Rachel’s yoga class the next day was unlikely, considering you could practically feel how sore you would be from his aggressive hands. 

This was Ari’s style. You might have been riding him, but he’d always find a way to dominate, relentless in how he would have you squirming in his hands whether it be with his touch or his words. “Fuck, sexy,” he hissed even more sharply than before, and before you knew it, he suddenly had you on your back in the seat instead, one hand swiftly reaching down to make it recline slightly in order to achieve a better angle for him to pound into you. “A-Ari!!” you gasped out loud, lifting your legs up to wrap around his waist and moving your hips up towards him as best as you could, your brain in a complete haze of pleasure. 

“What did you call me, baby girl?”

You bit your lip but more than happily corrected yourself, whining, “Right there, Daddy! Mmm, I love your big dick so much!” He had you moaning like the little slut you were for him, and he could only scoff in amazement as he listened to you, loving that he had this effect on you. “That’s right, my baby doll…. come on, sweetheart, cum all over Daddy’s cock.. show Daddy what a good little cumslut you are….” he growled through grit teeth, thrusting right into your sweet spot with an almost brute force. You were a mess of mewls and moans as you came undone, simultaneously enjoying the feeling of him releasing inside you. He was breathing heavily, lengthy hair hanging in his eyes as he stared down at you with a tiny smirk, leaning down to kiss your lips in his naturally rough fashion. “You’re fucking perfect, doll.” He muttered lowly, pulling himself out and sighing against your lips in content before slowly standing up, reaching down to easily scoop you up into his arms. “C’mon, let Daddy help you get dressed before we go back to the room for round two.”

“Round two?” you breathed out, looking into his eyes with amusement, and he snickered lightly. “Um, yeah, round two, and then three, four, five, six…. I don’t need to go on, you learned how to count in preschool, right?” he teased, setting you down to retrieve your clothes. “If you thought you’d be having a relaxed night after looking like some nude and heavenly fuckin’ mermaid out there in the water earlier today, then you need to get a brain scan.” He bluntly joked, leaning down to kiss your nose before slipping your tank top on over your head. You giggled softly, letting him help you with your bottoms and watched as he dressed himself, biting your lip. “I’m barely going to be able to walk tomorrow, am I Daddy?”

“You got that damn right, baby girl. Now come on, Daddy needs a taste of his little hellcat right now.”

[migleefulmoments]

Abb/y has something to s/ay

Let me premise this by reminding everyone that Abby -like Trump-doesn’t “get” comedy. They literally do not understand jokes, punchlines, or humor. So a satirical show about the Hollywood song writers falls flat. Her time away did nothing to sway her conspiratorial aspirations or her misogynistic hatred of Mia. She watched Royalties not once, but twice... not to enjoy Darren’s creativity and performance, not to support the celebrity she stans, and not even to crack up at the humor, no she watched twice because she was looking for confirmation bias. She wanted to document all of the ways Darren wrote his CrissColfer truth into Pierce’s life and she obsessively listened to all of the diss-tracks he wrote to attack his wife.  

Let me also premise this by saying I loved the show. I thought it was funny and the songs are so damn catchy.  The lyrics are quintessential Darren- funny, very clever, and raunchy.  

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R/oyalties, the Tale of Two Shows with a Heaping Side of Meta

ajw720. So I just finished watching R/oyalties for the second time, this time solely focused on the meta.  Look, we all know, the show is not good, it was not well written and the short format didn’t help as there was no option to develop character or plot.  But D knew it would not be good, he apologized for it back in January 2019.  And I think the effort he put into acting was the effort it deserved. Ok.

But his songs were genius.  As were the videos, hence why i call it the tale of two shows.  It truly was like watching content made by completely different people. I concur with MH, D is “intensely talented.”  And the part of this show he poured his blood, sweat, and tears into, the songs, are evident of this.

But this is a post about that Heaping Side of Meta. I think D, knowing that that show would not be made in the manner he envisioned, instead used it as a vehicle to make some bold statements and parallels with his career and public life.  Shall we begin?  And please, unlike the perfect song, this is not a perfect post and after the second round of watching i canceled my Quibi subscription and never plan to look back, so please feel free to add. I know some of these have been pointed out but I thought it was valuable to have one post.

One idea to inpsire the song?  A tiny FROG on a dime.

D’s shirt 1st seen in Episode 2: “It is hard to soar like an Eagle when you are surrounded by turkeys”

And of course “Call me Goldilocks bitch”  Remind you of something?

How about the entirety of Episode 3 when we are told that an artist is completely the product of the team.  That no matter what the artists expresses they want, it doesn’t matter because the Label/manager/publicist/on camera agent/legal will always have a say. And how it will play in America or the Foreign market are key metrics of how the product is produced and presented.  I love the line of the songwriter that tells P/ierce and S/ara to “get out while they are young.”  Or the line by one of her team “we don’t want something different, we want something the same that is different.”  And in the end P&S simply took one of KK old songs and reworked it, making something different that is not different and her team loved it.  

And of course, the line that was an utter slap in the face to the most over praised “director” of an indie band video ever when D reminds her of the real director in his life, the man set to direct major motion pictures, “you know who would be perfect to direct? C/hris.  C/hris would shatter this.”

Not much in Episode 4, but the gorilla suit in my opinion was mocking of a certain MMR video where we watched Swiller and a banana in a song about a gorilla.  Images I never need to see in my head again.

Episode 5, a gem, I am still so fucking proud of D and how he mocked her throughout the entirety of the episode.  New lines I love of that amazing song he wrote about her (in addition to those i posted previously here) “Some people say I’m a  genius, which comes from the greek word for Latin, and other people will say, alright in fact i’m a fuckin’s genius” “I’m not saying I’m a god, but I’m not saying I’m not a god.”  Mocking at its finest made all that much better by the band’s name “Switchback Jacket” that D describes as “butt rock emo” that is performed by a band that doesn’t actually sing, they are just the public image.  He literally told us that what we see is an image created for the public and that it is completely fake.  And he used his beard to make this statement. Just brilliant.  I cannot praise him enough for this, stealing her moment in the sun and making her look like an utter fool, telling us just how narcissistic she is.

Also some wonderful lines from that episode that are beyond telling:

“Power, it felt good to remind Kevin that I hold power over him. You always want to be the one with power”

“p/ierce wouldn’t know where to take a shit if I didn’t tell him.”

“she is like my wife except we don’t have sex and we are friends.”

“alright boss, I am ready to record that song, but where should i take a shit?”

“You will do anything to succeed.”

Episode 8 starring “Poly Amorous and the Unicorn Guild” an episode used to shine a light on how absurd it is that people believe D&PBB lived with platonic roomie B/enny for something like 4 years.  3 grown ass adults, all of whom have money to spare lived together in a relatively small house for four years.  It is pure comedy that anyone would believe that this is normal.  But hey these are the same people that explained away the infamous arm around her while at an awards show with D looking on:

And the cherry on top of this episode, the inclusion of C/huck (for some background, see my post here).

I really like the one bit of dialogue between P&S, where D pretty much tells us once again that M will use anyone to get what she wants:

“Did it ever occur to you that maybe just maybe, I don’t like where we are now? There were a lot of really great things about the way things were.  Things that are worth preserving.  Not that you just take and use and through out.”

Episode 9 had some really impactful lines:

“you think i wouldn’t steal for my career? You think I wouldn’t lie?  I would do anything.”

The Neils being the nameless individuals, nothing more than a number, who are the ones who actually create the product.  And then the song, some of the translations are D telling you how he feels, because sometimes i think in terms of his public image he is just a Neil trying to escape the cage that has been built around him:

“I dream about getting away, I have been locked up in this cage wishing i could make my escape. I hate that I need you.”

And finally Episode 10, where we learn the Neils get no credit and no royalties. This reminds me of a script C wrote that never saw the light of day but suddenly the next season of AHS had the same theme as his script.

And that is all i got, if you have more please add. I think the fact that D took what he knew would be a mediocre project and projected his voice and story throughout it was pretty genius and a smart way to utilize this vehicle, that was clearly payout for so many that have used him for years and to shine a bright light on the truth.

elicc  The “perfect song”’s performer is called Bailey Rouge, a clear link to TLOS.

He is a genius.

ajw720   @elicc damn, that was on my list and I forgot. And we all know who Red is inspired by, so seems fitting Bailey Rouge would get the perfect song.

ajw720. Just adding one more I thought about putting in my original post but admittedly think it’s a stretch. But maybe not? Just adding here for fun.

When Theo tells P to bottle up all his romantic feelings I couldn’t help but think of a certain chapter in a book

*******************************************

Oy Vei! Abby didn’t use her time away getting any therapy or perspective.  She hasn’t learned any lessons. I have no doubt she’s been reading just as much as she did before and she’s speaking to Cassie, Flowers et al all day. It’s really sad. It’s sad that she can’t see how silly she sounds, what an asshole her version of Darren is. If she could restrain herself even a little bit it might come off less unhinged because turning every single moment of Royalties into some crisscolfer wet dream reeks of desperation. 

Abby hates Royalties. In last week’s “Dear D” she had the audacity to say 

....Fans that are beyond devoted and mainly because of the way you have treated fans with respect and a level of caring that far surpasses the majority of public figures.  And while I am not enjoying the show itself, the music shows how diverse you are as a writer and how you can virtually write for anyone or any genre. The songs are fantastic.  Memorable.  And really fun.  

She knows the the Langs wrote the show and Darren wrote the songs but what she can’t seem to comprehend is that Darren IS Royalties. Everything in the show is Darren’s.  

Staying in the closet would be less painful than trying to express oneself through a short-form satirical comedy.  Can you imagine trying to express your devastation and pain through Kick Your Shoes off or Break It In? 

“I’m the king of the hard fuck....pile drive the bed like a young buck...if you like feathery shit thats pretty cool but I don’t need that...people say I fuck too soft, saying that I can’t please a woman” 

BTW Abby- “call me goldilocks bitch” isn’t a reference to TLOS it’s a reference to Goldilocks and Three Bears because because he fucks perfect, not too soft, not too hard. It’s much more believable that he is referring to a random nursery rhyme than it is to believe he is referring to a children’s book his lover/husband/boyfriend wrote 8 years ago. You might love the book but Chris has moved on and written new things. 

Darren wrote funny lyrics. I loved Kick Your Shoes Off because it’s written by a man whose watched his wife and female friends wear painful shoes for the same of fashion even though its painful as fuck.   

“Yeah, I’m a bad bitch so don’t be mad bitch. I turned the room into a catwalk like a sad bitch. I can’t feel my toes in these stilettos. when I walk out my roomate says you’ll regret those....Beauty is pain but oh I look amazing.  You won’t hear me complaining but oh my instep (inside?) is screaming...kick your shoes off (kick em off) ooooooo I do what I want..(Kick em off) ooooo Hey I can’t walk in these, blisters start to bleed now both my feet are swollen. Kick your shoes off (Kick em off).....It’s like i feel so good when my shoes are on, but like i also feel sooooo good when they are off” 

Abby’s convinced I am So Much Better Than You is straight up about Mia because Mia is in the video. She listened to it on repeat the day after it came out. In her “Letter to D” last week she said 

Especially after you made an effort to mock her for the entirety of Tuesday when her episode aired (and for the record I am still really, really proud of what you did with that episode and how you handled the roll out, that is the fighter I admire and that inspires me.  I listened to I am so much better than you on repeat on my drive home from work yesterday).   

Good Lord  The lyrics are as silly as all the other songs: “My mirror wants to bone me (but it can’t because it’s a mirror)” How did Abby miss the obvious TLOS mirror/ Halloween costume reference here?  

“You keep doing push ups while I get buff eating mac and cheese (with overpriced lobster and truffles because I’m worth it)”  

“Some people say I’m a genius (which comes from the greek work for latin) Some other people will say yeah I’m right I’m a fucking genius (I’m not saying I’m a god but I’m not saying I’m not a god). 

“And even when you sneeze, God blesses me, he blesses me. And even when you sneeze, god blesses me, he blesses me, he blesses me”

“I’m am so much better than you at everything”. 

She believes Darren would be- and stay- married to a women that he publicly ridicules and attacks. I don’t get why she thinks that is something admirable . 

She thinks Also You is referring to Ben living with them.  Where to start with this one? She says

“Episode 8 starring “Poly Amorous and the Unicorn Guild” an episode used to shine a light on how absurd it is that people believe D&PBB lived with platonic roomie B/enny for something like 4 years.  3 grown ass adults, all of whom have money to spare lived together in a relatively small house for four years.  It is pure comedy that anyone would believe that this is normal.  But hey these are the same people that explained away the infamous arm around her while at an awards show with D looking on”

I’m gobsmacked.  Also You is about Polyamory. She doesn’t even understand her own theories if she thinks that is the message Darren wants to share about Mia and Ben.  In no world would someone try to proclaim their wife was cheating on them with a live-in houseguest by writing an episode called Poly Amorous and the Unicorn Guild.  Also, someone needs to explain cuckholding to her because her theories about Ben and Mia make Darren a cuck.  

OMG I just realized that Darren is a cuck and Royalties proves it.  He hired Kether to be his costar in Royalties,...Kether is in You’re the Worst as Lindsay.  Lindsay cuckholds her husband. Bam! mic drop.   

Why isn’t Perfect Song about Mia, you know, if we are playing confirmation bias “No one is as good as you because you're my perfect song” 

[queenitn]

So...I just found something that I'd written one night at like 4am a month into lockdown.

It's pretty much a very unnecessarily angry rant.

I can probably contradict half the stuff I say in it myself. It's just...kinda rude in places and when I'm thinking straight there's some parts I don't really agree with myself. It's not aimed at anybody and I'm definitely a hypocrite but I'm gonna post it anyways so go wild I guess.

So I recently took a stroll through Stucky fanfiction on ao3. For a while there I'd been avoiding it, and I'd nearly convinced myself that my mind was exaggerating the whole bottom!Bucky/top!Steve thing but yeah, I'm not.

Normally, I'd say who tops or bottoms doesn't matter. It's pretty irrelevant. But... since the majority of the fanfictions clearly prefer to write bottom!Bucky, obviously, there is some significance. Wouldn't the proportion be more equal if it truly was irrelevant?

Besides being annoying as fuck, it's also pretty interesting I guess. I have nothing else to do so I'm going to be ranting about a lot of stuff.

So, I mostly try to look for bottom!Steve, right? Because that's what I like. I read a bottom!Steve fic, then I say, "Hmm, this author seems to like bottom!Steve, maybe they've written more?" I go check, and I find...mostly bottom!Bucky, with maybe one or two more bottom!Steve.

It's fine the first few times, but after a while it's honestly weird. Clearly, a lot of very good authors have no problem writing bottom!Steve. They just happen to write more bottom!Bucky. As far as I can tell, that's pretty much the common trend. But why? What exactly does one think while starting a new fic, going all, "Hmm...I think...this time.... we're gonna have bottom!Bucky again." Again and again and again until it's most times.

Why is bottom!Steve so fetishized? I don't mean the fics that actually have a dom/sub element. I mean just pure bottom!Steve itself. Why does it have to be some sort of rarity?

As far as I know, there's...really nothing in canon indicating who would likely top or bottom. (I mean yeah, I do believe that canon Bucky is more likely to want to dom than canon Steve, but that's different.)

So, what is it?

Sure, Steve is taller, has a deeper voice, more muscle, a beard....but those are just physical things. They don't actually have anything to do with taking or giving.

Besides, he used to be small before. Is that what this is about? Previously tiny man likes to be in control? Likes to...what? Prove he's a manlier man? Bullshit. Besides the fact that it's bullshit, it also doesn't seem to fit with canon Steve.

The "Sometimes I think you like getting punched" and the "And you've got nothing to prove" make me think that his proving himself had less to do with showing his dominance and more to do with showing his endurance. I'd say bottoming is exactly what he'd want to do.

Besides, wasn't that exactly what made his relationship with Bucky special? The fact that he didn't have to "prove himself" in any way? Bucky already knew his worth.

Is it because Steve likes to give orders? Some sort of "Oh, this guy was always meant to be the leader"? Well, there's a huge difference between being a leader, giving orders in a battlefield...and giving orders in the bedroom. And I'm pretty sure top/bottom preferences would be completely unrelated to who's the boss at work.

But nevermind that, as far as I can tell, sure Steve gives orders, but he also looks to the people he trusts for guidance. The best example is Nat. The thing that makes their friendship so goddamm precious is partly in the way he always glances at her for confirmation before making a decision. Isn't Bucky sort of like an Ultimate Nat with sex benefits?

Nevermind that too. Steve bossing people around is great, but that's not the point, is it? The point is does he enjoy it? I think, the only movie where he did look like he relished his power was TFA. I'm pretty confident that's because of the novelty of his new strength partially, and partially also because of the rush caused by his back to back successes. Why? Because he never seems to take that kind of enjoyment again. As opposed to...maybe Sam? The guy who gets his literal wings back after (presumably) years and lets out a whoop after being chased by the missile thingies. Sam's joy doesn't wear off. Steve's does.

Is it just me, or has this skew towards bottom!Bucky actually increased over the years? Why? I can say a few things on this.

First, maybe people need to remember a bit more that Sebastian Stan is not Bucky Barnes. Chris Evans is not Steve Rogers. And Steve Rogers is not Captain America.

No matter what you think about the actors, the characters they play are separate. Please.

Second, there is a very interesting theory that exists which says that the reason why Bucky is so popular in the fandom is because his character arc is relatable to women and the queer community in the fact that it's about him regaining his stolen agency. Which is true.

Does this have anything to do with him bottoming though? I mean, I don't know. Fanfictions are important because they allow us to explore ourselves, whether it's our sexuality or our trauma that we're trying to figure out. In that way, it makes sense that maybe we will tend to write Bucky as a bottom more often. Except no.

Partly because, having had bad experiences at a young age myself, and being queer myself, I do not relate to Bucky. And hypothetically speaking, I would totally bottom for Peggy or Bucky, but I would rail the absolute shit out of Steve. I canNOT be the only one.

Partly also because yeah, a lot of fanfiction is projection, which is good for the soul, both yours and mine, but not to the point where we create a fanon version of the character completely different from the canon one. Yeah, you could say that canon doesn't really give us much of a character, but clearly they give us something and we have to build up on that right? It's true for both Bucky and Steve. Bucky barely has lines, but his actions speak enough. There's an absolutely breathtaking character waiting for you in canon if you really want to look. As for Steve, let me just say, sass and the tiniest little hints of PTSD do not make a whole character. Marvel fucked it up, but this goes for the fandom too (this is keeping in mind that Steve technically has three movies dedicated to him and Bucky doesn't)

Stop treating Steve like your personal punching bag, Stucky fandom.

It does happen, if we project our bad experiences on Bucky, Steve often naturally fills the role of the clueless/mildly asshole-ish love interest. Not too much of an asshole though, clearly you love him.

That's fine. Fanfiction is about self expression, but should we lose sight of the canon characters that we loved so much in the first place? And isn't fanfiction just as much about exploring those characters, as objectively as we possibly can?

Another thing related to that...why do we only have to identify with one character? I don't know how to put this, but there's a thing called halo effect and I think that's kind of what happens (I'm not a psychologist).

You see something in Bucky. And then you start to attribute more and more things to him that may or may not actually exist. Like yeah, he's fullfilling the traditional love interest role in Steve's movies, but that doesn't automatically mean he's a bottom. The two things are... actually entirely unrelated. They're only related in your mind. And similar to that, when we see one thing in a character that we identify with, we kind of want to see even more things in them we identify with, but it doesn't have to be like that. That's not how any person works, and it's not how any fully developed character works. You can relate to both the characters in different ways, no need to dump it all in one.

Ok, another thing, that I don't like to think about but it's occured to me and I don't like it. So, Steve is generally coded as a bisexual, right? And Bucky is coded as gay. Look yourself in the eye in the mirror and think about whether you're unconsciously assuming that the bi guy isn't going to want to bottom. I'm a bisexual woman, I will top Steve. I kind of resent this.

Going off on another tangent, I have also delved into Stony on my quest for bottom!Steve. Pretty sure there's even less of that there. Why??? That's crazy.

Normally, I'm pretty sure Tony would be coded as the top. He's much older, richer. He clearly has control issues. That's one of his defining features. Control. (I don't mean that in a bad way.) So....what exactly do Bucky and Tony have in common besides dark hair and short hight? The only thing I could come up with was thotiness. They're both shown as Thots. Is that it? The Thot Bottoms? Ok.

Is it the whole energy thing? "Bucky has bottom energy"? Does he? Can you argue with me if I say that TFA Steve has bratty bottom energy? That TFA Bucky goes from service top energy to mean top energy? Pretty sure that's subjective. But what exactly are we seeing differently here? I'm honestly asking.

Bucky's character is ridiculously strong, stronger than Steve in some ways (besides probably physically). Specifically, it's because of his ability to not only survive, but heal. Can we acknowledge how crazy that is? He's just fucking buying plums, but that's still more than we've ever seen Steve do. You can say his trauma is greater, but it looks like his coping ability is greater too. So is that what this is? Steve doesn't cope. Instead he focuses on external things like being Cap, Hydra, Bucky. I wouldn't call that a healthy way of living...but it's romantic, right? Neglecting to take care of yourself? No, actually avoiding taking care of yourself by focusing entirely on another person? Is that it? We're romanticizing unhealthy behaviour?

Is it because you feel more for Bucky, wearing his hurt on his sleave, versus Steve who wears it hidden under his skin?

Am I allowed to believe that Steve's ultimate shield isn't the vibranium one, but Captain America himself?

That's just me getting off track and mildly pissy but the point stands. We like seeing Steve in control. He wears it well. He's good at it. But that's just not that relevant. You don't just boss poeple around in the bedroom because you're good at it, you have to want it too. Would he want it? Is a commanding voice really an indicator of a person's desire to command? Can we really say because he's usually the one giving orders (because that's his actual job), that he likes it too? Does he look like he especially likes it? No.

I've been around fandoms long enough to know that all fandoms always have a preference regarding who ultimately tops or bottoms. This isn't the first time it's bugged me, but it feels more this time because I just don't see it. And it makes me angry because it contradicts what I feel, are the best parts of the characters. No, Bucky bottoming isn't the contradiction..but all this that I wrote, the connotations of this kind of coding, the underlying thoughts.... some of it is just not nice, but some of it opposes the little things that humanize these characters. It wouldn't matter, except that it wouldn't have happened at all if it didn't matter.

It's not just what happens to them in canon that matters so much. It's also what they choose to do for themselves when they have the chance. It feels like they made their choices and half the fandom ignored it. "Nah man, you'll look better at the bottom. Look at that hair."

Because ultimately, that's what it feels like to me. A mixture of not thinking too much about it (though I know this post probably counts as overthinking), some wierd internalised heteronormativity, and I don't know what just kind of fucks with all of us. All I know is that I hate it. I hate it.

It's not the bottom!Bucky I hate, it's the underlying, unthinking assumptions. The way it's a foregone conclusion. It's not. I really just want to be able to read the goddamn fanfictions again without wanting to tear my skin off.

( You can help by giving reccs)