#also for those of you who haven't seen the original/first post about this house:

[nostalgicfun]

"The doll room"

[lynaferns]

The Forest On The Other Side

Chapter 1: I want to go home.

Ver. [ENGLISH / SPANISH]

EDIT: This fic is now on AO3

A girl gets lost in the forest and finds a misterious gate in the middle of nowhere. At the other side she meets a... very peculiar individual who seems to only want to befriend her and play. Everything seems fine. Until night falls and someone else joins to play...

Again, I appreciate feedback about the english adaptation. English is not my first lenguage and I still mess up sometimes.

This is in some way a more "joyful" story than BIOMáquina, still with its dark themes. I wrote this a year ago. By this I mean I forced myself to get it written down and ended up hating it and burning myself out. A couple of weeks ago I decided to reread it and I though it was pretty ok actually, so I edited it a bit to make it flow better. It used to be written more as a script for the comic I wanted to draw buuuut that didn't happen (cough stressed myself out cough forced myself cough don't force yourself to make content out of a hobby, a hobby is supposed to be for your own fun). I'm not completely satisfied with the final draft but I think is good enough for my first ever fic written.

I originally planned to make it a Y/N thing but that didn't last long. But I keeped the original idea of the first person POV. The Y/N stories I've read has always some narrator telling you what you do insert you in the story. I thought of making the MC the narrator, this way the reader can insert themselves like it's their story or they can read it as if someone else is telling them a story. This is also a bit limiting, since the narration is also the MCs thought process and sometimes I may skip details MC couldn't have seen.

AU, Magical forest, DCA centered, Sun fnaf, Moon fnaf, Elves Sun & Moon, OC, Selfinsert, Character & OC, platonic, friendship, slowburn (kind of), Moon is agresive at first, Moon is also a bit of a gremlin, Protective Sun (I think), OC is a potty mouth, Female Main Character, First person, Angst.

The first post where I showed this AU and my first sketches ideas.

Tumblr archive with all of the art, ideas and anwsered asks.

Youtube Playlist which I'm pretty proud of how it turned out :] It's in a specific order but you can put it on mix.

Note: even though I try to keep things light some things may be triggering for some readers.

CW: Anxiety, Suicide ideation, Implied death, Choking, Non sexual abuse.

Wordcount: 9,700 (It's not rounded, that's literally the number Word tells me it's at lol)

Welp.

Here we are again, in the old village house (yey...). Well, 'I am', my family won't arrive to settle in for another week. They brought me here beforehand a few days ago for organizational reasons. They took a quick look inside before they left to see the state of the house, if it needed any repairs and such, and they headed back to the city. While they finish preparing everything, I take care of the house and text them messages about anything that may be needed for when they return.

We haven't been here in years, the house needs some repairs, and I'm sorry for the spiders, but it could use a deep cleaning. We can't do a deep cleaning but I have been cleaning what I can these last few days, at least so that it looks decent... at first glance.

Well, it's not like anyone is coming to visit.

It's a quiet town, until the kids from the town next door come to make a racket with their bikes. They play in our field, scare away the cats and throw cans around. They are assholes.

Anyways, the people in the village are nice. The adults I mean, the kids I used to play with, I don't get along with them anymore. Some of them aren't kids anymore, we have grown up and are going down different paths. But those who are still kids... they're still interested in the only older kid in the town who listened to them and let them do whatever they wanted, to a certain extent.

I don't want them to come looking for me to go out and play. I've been avoiding them by saying that I'm busy cleaning the house and getting it ready for when my family arrives, but I feel like interacting with them less and less. That's why I'm going out to the woods behind the house to get lost for a while, as always. The kids don't go near the forest so they won't bother me there.

There is an area for tourism and hiking but not many people come, some police cars border the forest from time to time but they never go inside. The reports of missing people in this forest have been coming in for decades, only some lost children have returned but there is no trace of any of the adults who disappeared along with the rest of the children. The areas marked with signs are safe but you can't go out of bounds unless you want to disappear with those people.

And I, who right now am alone and with no one to notice my absence if I go missing, am going to head straight to the forest. Don't you think, I don't want to disappear, I just don't like people and I usually go into the forest but I don't go too far away. As long as I see my house in the distance, I know how to return.

I grab my bag with my sketchbook and pencil case, in case I feel like drawing (probably won't) and step out to the back porch. The outer sliding metal door that protects the inner one is rusty and difficult to open. It would be better to oil it but I don't know when it will be done, considering that the broken railing has had a wooden board tied to it for years. I already sent my mother a message talking about it.

I enter the forest and start walking around. It's hot, of course, it's early summer, but it's quite noticeable after being in the cool inside the brick and stone house. That's the good thing about coming here in summer, the houses are made to stay cold inside and it's great, sometimes I even need to wear a jacket. But outside I'm dying, the trees don't provide enough shade. In fact, some trees are missing. I used to have my routes memorized but time has passed and some paths have changed, some have disappeared and others have formed. I admit that it makes me a little sad... I began to walk absorbed in my thoughts not paying attention to where I was going.

I'm walking away, I should go back. I'm not going to draw anything here anyway, and it's hotter outside than inside so I'm gonna to turn around-

I hear screams and laughter in the distance, the sound of the voices produces me an immediate disgust. It's those kids from the next door village. They must have come to 'investigate' about the disappearances or maybe they don't care and they just came to be idiots-

They're getting closer.

I don't want them to see me. God. Don't let them see me. Anyone but them. They're getting closser. Don't let them see me. I can't go back home now. They're cutting me off. Of all the people who could have found me. It had to be them. No, please. Don't let them see me. I have to go further into the forest, I can't let them see me. They're getting closer. Don't let them see me. I want to leave. I want to leave. I'm getting too far. I want to leave. I don't see my house. I want to leave. I don't see the village. I want to leave. I don't see the kids.

...

...

...

Where am I?

Fuck.

Where am I?

I want to leave.

I want to leave.

I want to leave.

I want to leave.

…

—

Now I'm wandering through the forest. I don't want to go back. I want to get out of here. Even though I'm walking in a straight line I feel like I'm going around in circles, and I'm not going to get out of here now. Great. I'm lost. Now what? People who get lost in this forest don't return, no one has returned except for some children.

...

I'm going to disappear.

...

For now I keep walking until something happens. Maybe there's an animal that kills people who get lost, or maybe it's a group of kidnappers, or maybe I should stop giving myself anxiety and focus on getting out of here. Maybe if I find a field or road, or even the tourist area, I'll be able to get out of here and return bordering the fores-

...

There is... colorful graffitis on the trees. Someone has painted eyes, hands, stars and more on the bark of the trees...

What's this?

I don't know where I've come to, I didn't know this was here, in the middle of nowhere in the forest. The trees have red leaves like in autumn even though summer has just started... The first thing I thought was 'climate change's fault' but there is something that stands out in the middle of this entire flat area and it is disturbing me.

In the center there is a kind of circular gate made of stones supported by roots.

Okay, maybe it doesn't sound aaaaas disturbing as, I don't know, a totem with a human figure being impaled or something, but it's giving me a bad vibe. What is this place? Who built a stone arch in the middle of everything and why?

A bird appears flying from behind me and goes through the gate, but nothing comes out on the other side... wait what? how? The bird has crossed the gate, and disappeared behind the stone arch? ...I had to imagine it, it's not possible that that happened. I approach the arch but not before picking up a rock from the ground and throwing it to the other side of the gate.

It's still there.

…

For some reason the thought of going through the gate makes me uncomfortable, so I go around it.

...

...And the rock? It's not there.

I go back and look from inside the portal.

The rock is there.

...

I look from outside. The rock is not there. I repeat this multiple times. Rock. No rock. Rock. No rock. Rock. No rock... What?

Alright, this is weird, this is VERY weird.

Even though it is clear that this isn't normal, I have to go back, pick up a fallen branch from the ground and pass it through the portal. This time I don't throw it, I've grabbed a branch long enough to see it peek out from the other side of the arch.

...

Welp.

I should be seeing not only the branch, but also my hand sticking out of the side, but I'M NOT SEEING IT. OKAY. OK. ALRIGHT. IT'S CONFIRMED. THIS IS WEIRD.

I'm asleep, right? Or unconscious. I must have passed out from exhaustion from endlessly wandering through the woods and I'm delirious or something. No, wait, it can't be, in my dreams I'm not this aware of what's around me. Where am I?

A breeze begins to pass through the gate. It's getting stronger but not enough to push me. The leaves rise from the ground and float towards the portal, none slipping outside, all entering through the stone arch. Suddenly the breeze that had become wind stops. The leaves fall to the ground.

...

I look back for a moment, as if there was something behind me that could help me make a decision. Grabbing with both hands my bag strap I look back at the portal again. Okay. Alright. This is possibly the death of me. I'm going to cross. I'm going to go to the other side. I'm just one step away from crossing. I wrinkle my face and narrow my eyes before taking the last step.

...

Nothing has happened. Everything seems the same. However, I know it's not the same... Or at least it doesn't feel the same!

Well, I've already crossed. I'm gonna... keep walking, I guess, even though this is scaring me and I don't know if I'll know how to go back. For now I'm moving forward. The red leaves have disappeared several meters ago. It's starting to look like a normal forest, except for the multicolored drawings and handprints that I keep seeing on the trees. In fact, it seems like the trees are taller with every step I take. So high that I can barely see the top. I almost tripped while looking up. Whether this is the same forest I come from, I no longer know.

This was a bad idea. I just hope to find something that'll help me know where I am, a sign or the road if possible.

*cling*

...?

I hit something with my foot. There is a ball attached to a small chain on the ground. Oh, no, wait. *cling diring ding* It's a rusty bell, I think. It doesn't have the typical cross-shaped hole or slot, rather it has several holes in a pattern. It looks like it can be opened.

There's nothing inside.

?

There's nothing? But I could have sworn it had rang. I close it again and shake it.

*...*

Nothing.

I'm going to put it in the bag, it's totally a good idea. I'll think about it later, for now I'm moving on.

—

I've been walking for a while now and throughout this time I had a constant chill on the back of my neck, as if someone had their eyes on me.

*din dirring* I hear a soft tinkling in the distance.

Okay, I'm not alone, awesome, what do I do now? Do I say hi and risk the potential danger finding me? Do I ignore the sound of bells and keep moving? It's very possible that whatever made that sound is watching me right now...

“Hello?” Still nervous, I try to say hello looking around “...” “Is someone there? H-hello?”

“-HEEEEELLO!”

“AAAAAH-!” I cover my mouth with my hands as I turn to look at what the hell has greeted me back. I take a few steps back while I look at the figure of earthy and sunny tones who responded, he seems as surprised as I am, I think (with the scream I made, normal), at least it looks like he's surprised. He wears a two toned wooden mask... it looks like a sun, with a crescent moon on its right... It gives the impression of two faces merged into one... Damn, he is tall, he's almost doubles my size. He appears to have two skin tones dividing him in half, his right side being the lighter and the left darker, especially the arm, which also has a light-colored tattoo of lines representing a sun symbol that covers from the shoulder to the pectoral and to the middle of the bicep. The right arm is covered by a long fingerless glove that reaches to the shoulder and is tied around the chest. He's wearing baggy pants with leaves coming out of the waist and legs, some... cloth boots? with a long toe bending sharply and curving in a geometric swirl with a bell at the tips, a bag hangs from the waistband of his pants and falls below his hips. His chest and neck are tied by ropes decorated with hanging stones, metals and crystals, he wears a pendant that ends in a carved symbol of a crescent moon with rays. Some of the 'sunrays' on his mask have ropes tied between them holding them in place and some metal dangling. Some red ribbons along with bells hang from his wrists.

“um... Helloooooo.” He greets again, this time he lowers his tone of voice. I manage to react, I turn around and walk away. “¡ah- eh- Wait!” Nope, I'm not going to wait and see what he does with me, I'm leaving. “He-! Hey!” Nope. I quicken my pace and try to get lost among the trees, changing direction every time he appears in my vision angle. “Human? Human-! FRIEND. Can I call you friend?!” Nope, nope, nopnop, nop, nop, nope. “Friend! Hey!” God, no, god, god, no, why are you following me? “Look, I know what you're trying to look for...! And believe me, you're not going to find it~!” How are you still following me? Where do you come from? “Hey! Listen! Why don't we do something else besides running in circles!?” Noooooooooo... “There are TONS of other activities we could do! Like... HOLY MOLY, look at this stick! Do you like sticks!?” Leave me aloneee... “You aren't looking at it! Okay, alright, you don't like sticks, erm... what might be of interest to you...” If I don't look at it it doesn't exist. “Could you help me a little here?” I want to leave... “Look, no matter how much you wander around, you won't find the portal-!”

“STOP—! STOP FOLLOWING ME! LEAVE ME ALONE!” The sudden scream startles him again, making him jump in place. He stands completely still looking at me. I'm leaving before he gets angry.

“B-but I- ...okay.” I thought I heard him say before I left him behind.

It seems that this time he's not following me, finally... Although I'm not calm, he could still be following me and simply not be in sight. Anyway, I think I'm coming back? I hope I am. I want to find that portal as soon as possible and go back to the house- what the fu-? “WHY?”

He's there. Right where I left him. Sitting on a rock. Waiting. “...! I haven't moved from the spot!”

“Yeah- but- WHY?”

“Because I knew you were going to come back here!”

“...What?”

“Is what I was trying to tell you! You can't leave! No matter how hard you try to find the portal, it won't appear before you!” The Sunman exclaimed.

“…” I'm just about to turn around. In fact, I'm already turning around.

“N-No, wait! Please don't go!” I stop in my track and look back at him. He gets off the rock he was sitting on but remains squatting, almost at my height, a little below. I move back, keeping my distance. He puts his hands up. “Look, I'm not doing anything! I won't chase you! Just- ...don't go.”

“…”

“L-look, listen, there's no way it's going to show up! Well, not to you at least. But even if you find it back, it won't work! It only works when it wants to work.”

“...” Let's imagine that I trust what he says “Ok... and when does it want to be working?”

“...” “No idea!”

“...”

“...”

I'm about to collapse on the spot. At least he doesn't seem hostile, for now. “...” “Okay... Good... Great...” “...” “FanTAS-tic.”

“...” “You don't seem like it.”

*ಠ_ಠ* I could only look to the side in frustration in response to that. I looked back at him with concern showing on my face and grabbing the strap of my bag with both hands. “And... what... do you plan to do with me?”

He took his hand to the chin of his mask and with the other he held his elbow in a comical thoughtful pose. “MmmmnnDUN know! What do you plan to do?” He asked so nonchalantly. He ended up sitting on the ground crossing his legs. “You have a good while until the portal opens again...!”

“...”

“...”

“...”

He started swaying. The silence has become uncomfortable for a while now, but I can't organize myself on what to say, and I don't know if I trust him. I don't even know if he's human, although something tells me he's not.

“You could wait here.” He suggested, breaking me out of my thoughts. “Or anywhere else, if you want. I would recommend somewhere high like the treetops (for no particular reason)! If you're going to wait... But wouldn't that be really boring?” There was something in his tone of voice... “Being there... at the top of a tree... waiting... alone... with no friends to hang out with (can I call you a friend?). Aaall on your own until the portal opens again.” He looks aside for a moment “...” And back at me again. “With no one to be with you.” He repeats the head motion “...” “alone...” Wow... I wonder what he's implying, ahem. “Wouldn't you want to have someone...? ...Someone...keeping you company?” Yeah, yeah...

“...” I guess... “I-I guess I wouldn't want to be alon-?”

He rises to his knees. “That's what I thought! Do you want me to accompany you? Only if you want! But can I?” He clasped his hands together as if asking a favor.

“um...”

“Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?Can I?” He approaches, dragging his knees on the ground.

I'm starting to miss personal space. “Okay! Okay, alright...”

“REALLY?” He started hopping and jumping around me. “OH, ohoho hO! Great! Oh, there are TONS of things we could do! Like... Like...!” He moves faster, doing bigger and bigger flips and jumps, it almost seems that he is very light, as if the breeze of air lifted him. “We could paint and decorate trees! Or we can also paint on rocks! Or paint leaves! Or paint us! Oh! We can tell stories! I'm very good at making shadows and puppets.” He moves from place to place with each sentence he says. “We can also play something!” It's moving so fast all I can see is the wind and the leaves it stirs up as it moves. “Anything! Whatever you want!” Finally he stopped in front of me half crouched. “What do ya say?! Hmm! Friend!?”

“Don't... call me like that.” Makes me feel awkward.

“Oh...why not-? Oh true, true! How silly, I don't know your name! What do you call yourself, potential friend?”

“...”

“...” “Aren't... you gonna tell me your name?”

I twist the bag strap “Depends...” I must say I'm a little skeptical about this. “Are there any consequences for telling you my name?”

“...Consequences...?”

“Like... I don't know... Mmm-by telling you my name I become your possession and cannot regain my freedom until... certain conditions are met...”

“...”

“...”

“Why- how-? Where did you get that from!?” It did sound a bit stupid when I said it out loud.

“I dunno- that's what they say in old children's stories about elves and fairies!” I just hope the embarrassment isn't showing on my face.

“Really?” I could feel his deadpan expression behind the mask.

I shrugged.

“...” “Okay... Oh, what if I tell you my name first? Will you tell me yours? It's only fair, I'm Sun!”

“...”

“Can I know your name now?” He asked expectantly.

“...How do I know you're not trying to trick me?”

“...” I must be driving him crazy with this “The only thing I can do with your name is treasure it in my memory.” He put his hands together as if he was carefully holding something and brought them to the forehead of the mask. I gave him a distrustful look. It doesn't seem like it made him desist “Please?”

I grip at my worn out bag strap “...” “ Fern...” I ended up murmuring.

“Hmm? Fern? OH, I like it!” “Sounds like FRIEND.” He emphasized the last word by making a gesture like jazz hands, leaning to the side and moving his head closer to me.

“Yeah... I think you are missing a couple of letters.”

He straightened his posture again. “Nope, I don't think so!”

“You're still not my friend.”

“Oooowwwwwnnnnnggghhh” He lowers his head dramatically until it practically touches the ground “nnnnnnngggghh, alright!” And cartwheels to stand up again “So... what will it be?”

“Hm?”

He straightened his posture and puts his arms on his hips “We have plenty of time, ya? What do you wanna to do?”

“I don't know, what do you want to do-?” Bad mistake.

“Come with me!”

“aaAAAAA-!” Before I knew it, he had grabbed my arm and I was being dragged through the woods. We visited several places and he offered me an activity to do in each of them.

—

Sun took me to a place where the trees were full of colorful paint “We practice painting on the trees here!” He said.

“Ah.” That explains the crossed out lines and the repeated imperfect shapes. By the look of it is also where he tests the quality of the paint.

“Do you want us to paint something!?”

“Not really...”

“Oh, would you prefer it to be on a rock?”

“Nah.”

“...And in star leaves-?”

“I don't want to paint, Sun.”

“Oh... Well, I can show you more places!”

“OkayyEEEEEE-” And I'm being dragged away again.

—

He brought me to another area of the forest, the ground here seemed more leveled. Not a single tree was straight, all of them were twisted and even seemed to be hollow. “How about playing something!? Like hide and seek-! No, wait, I can’t let you out of my sight.” He mumbled at the end “And chase?! We can climb a tree and see who reaches the top first! We have a place full of vines and it's perfect for swinging- and jumping from one tree to another-!”

“I don't... really want to move a lot…” With the way he runs without getting tired and me, who doesn't exercise... he would let me dead.

“Oh... well, theeen-”

—

We arrived at a place full of vegetation and humidity. Sun seemed quite excited... “This place is full of insects! We can look for cool bugs!”

“Mmmmmnoooo... I don't want to.” I had to tell him, trying to show as little disinterest as I could.

“You don't like them?” He sounded a little disappointed hearing my reaction.

“No, I do like them, some of them, but I don't like to touch them.” And I'm terrified of them flying into my face.

“Oh, well, it's okay!” He said brushing it off and we moved on to the next stop.

—

“I know that bird!” He stopped us on the way to point at a robin high up on a branch.

“ah.” I said as I removed leaves from my hair and clothes, and checked that I still had my glasses.

“He's a little rascal!”

“...” I think the bird is making us the equivalent of 'mooning'.

—

“Look fish-! Oh, they're gone…” The noise must have scared them away “We can go find more places to look at them if you want!”

“...” “...no, pass...”

“…”

—

“Look at this stick!” Sun had suddenly sprinted past me, picked up something from the ground, and came back just as fast, showing me the stick as if it were a sword.

“oh.” It's a cool stick, must admit it.

“Do you want to look for more sticks!?”

“No...”

“oh...” He looked at the ground in disappointment.

“Why would we go looking for sticks? There are all over the ground.” Specifically, in this area the ground was all sticks. We are literally just stepping on sticks right now. I don't see the ground.

“Variety!” Sun said pointing at the ground with both hands. A branch is heard falling in the distance.

—

“That's a deer!” He pointed at the deer passing nearby. The deer stopped to look at us.

“Yeah, I see.”

“We call 'em Adoquín!”

“...Why is it called Adoquí-?”

*THUMP!*

“…”

The deer smacked itself against a tree when trying to run away. It stands still for a minute, processing the hit, looks at a side and then the other, then runs off again but this time avoiding the tree.

Another *thump!* is heard in the distance.

“...” Alright.

—

“Do you wannaaaa look for pine cones? There will be some fallen around here. Oh! We can also look for mushrooms!”

I keep saying no to everything he suggests and it doesn't look like he's going to run out of ideas to pass the time. In fact, he's very insistent that we do something. I guess at some point I'll have to say yes to something. “...” “...okay...”

“Hmm?! Okay? Okay to what?” His exaggerated surprise offends me but I don't blame him.

“To... I don't know, pine cones?”

“...You don't look very convinced.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“OKAY! On the hunt for pine cones then!” I startle a little at the sudden shout. He makes a pose pointing in a direction, as if he were leading an expedition.

He takes me through the forest looking for pine cones. We aren't finding many, especially me who's not paying any interest. He tries encouraging me to put more effort into it but I keep looking at my boots.

We passed near a shingle river. I find a pebble at my feet and bend down to pick it up and take a better look. It's like a bluish gray, it has some reddish lines in the shape of waves, it feels good to the touch.

I hear the soft tinkling of a bell and feel a shadow fall beside me. “You like pebbles?” Sun is crouched next to me with his arms full of pine cones.

“…” I nod.

We go down to the river and spend some time collecting pebbles with curious shapes or small details of colors, lines, spots, etc. He comes over to show me one every time he finds weird shapes.

“…”

*rin* This time he's hunched over resting his hands on his knees. “You look… a little down.”

“…”

“Hey... we can do something else if you're tired of the pebbles.”

“...” I drop the pebbles I was looking at on the ground.

“...” He turns his gaze from me to the sky. It hasn't gotten late enough to be getting dark, but it's been a while between the walks we've taken (dragging me from here to there), looking for pine cones and then pebbles in the river. He looks back at me. “Oh, I know! Can I take you to one last place? A better place than the ones I've shown you!”

“…” I got up from the ground and waited for him to start leading to follow him.

We enter the increasingly thick forest. The trees are taller and bigger, in fact, I start to see platforms and bridges lying between the trees, I even see small shanties in them.

“Wait here!” He takes a run and jumps onto one of the trees with bridges. He takes three steps running up the tree, with a jump he pushes himself off and climbs with agility until he reaches the platform and climbs on it. “Just a moment!” It can't be seen from here but I can faintly hear some squeaks. I have no idea of what he's doin-

*rush*

“........eh?”

A rope.

A rope has fallen. At the level of my head.

“.......”

What?

…

He said he knew a better place.

No. It can't be this.

“Is it at a good height?! Can you reach it?!” He says...

It can't be.

A better place.

He can't be referring to this.

A better place.

A better place. A better place. A better place. A better place.

“Can you put your foot in?!”

“..........” For some reason what he said throws me off. “WAT-?”

“Can you put your foot in the loop and hold on to the rope so I can pull you up!?”

“..............”

“You can't climb trees, can you?! ...or you can?"

… “...” Oh “....It's...It's too high!”

“Okay!” Squeaks are heard and the rope descends to the ground.

I put my foot into the rope as he told me and hold on to it. “O-okay...!”

“Are you ready!?”

“Yes!”

“Okay!”

He begins to pull up the rope (which doesn't tighten around my foot as it supports my weight) and helps me up to the platform. (That's what it was for, obviously, what else would he want? I'm such an...) “Come on!” He says cheerfully, as always, and takes me over the bridges. “You seem tense... Don't tell me you're afraid of heights!”

“S-something like that... it's nothing.” He tilts his head at that but he says nothing. I have an unpleasant sensation in my throat.

We arrived at a high place with a view of waterfalls, I can't see above the trees. We sat on one of the bridges, resting our arms on the rope that serves as a railing and letting our legs hang off the bridge. I've thought about taking out the sketchbook to draw... but I don't really feel like it right now, so I just quietly observe the landscape. It is a better place, yeah.

…

I feel watched. I turn to look at him ...Of course he was looking at me. I don't even know whether to say something or keep quiet. ...I decide... not to say anything and look to the front.

“You... aren't very talkative, huh.”

“…”

“Not that it's a bad thing! Many people who have come here weren't very talkative at first either.” More people...

“...” “I have… nothing to talk about.” I don't want to talk.

“...” “Well, I do.”

“…”

“If it's okay with you, of course.” He laughed. Although something tells me that he is going to talk anyway.

“…”

“...” “What brings you to the forest?”

“...” Really? “I got lost.”

“Yeah, I already know!” He says between laughs “But what made you get lost?”

“...” “There was a group of kids I didn't want to get close to and I decided to go into the woods to lose them.” He makes a 'hum' sound and looks at me expectantly waiting for me to continue “And... I ended up getting myself lost...”

“...” “Only that?”

“...” “Well, yeah.” What do you mean 'oNlY tHaT'?

“...Mmm...” He places his hand on the chin of the mask.

“...” “What?”

“Nothing!” “...” “You know? You're the first human to visit the forest in a loooong time. For several cycles now…”

“Cycles?”

“Mhm” He nods.

“...What are cycles?”

Sun points to the sky “The turns that the Moon makes in the sky!” He emphasizes by rotating his arm in the air. It's pointing right at the Moon that's visible in the sky.

“Oh...” He uses the lunar cycles to know what day he's in, makes sense. “...” “So no one has been here in a while.”

“That's what I said! Well no, but yes!”

“A-and so the humans who came are still here? Have they been here all this time?”

“Yeah...! Well, no!” He paused. “They're gone!”

“What do you mean they're-?” He didn't let me finish the question.

“They are gone! They 'left'!” It sounded like he had given this answer many times already.

“What do you mean they left-?”

“They 'left'!”

“...” “...You mean...they disappear-?”

“Nope!” “...” “Something like that!” “…” “Mmmore or less…” He hesitated between one answer and another.

It seemed worthless to ask about the missing people. “...okay.” “Can I ask you-?”

“You can ask me anything!” A hint of nervousness escaped his tone.

“...okay. What is this forest?”

“My home! And the home of many other animals.”

“...” “Alright, and... how many are you...? How many of you live here? I mean. You have taken me everywhere and we haven't seen anyone of your…” I make a pointing gesture, spinning my hand around in the air. He can't be human, it doesn't look like he is. “...” “Honestly, I don't know what you are.”

“...” “There's only me... And someone else!” He looks away, as if trying to hide something.

“Oh... and who's that someone?”

“Oh! N-no, don't worry! He’s… just a friend… But it’s not important that you meet him or anything!” He brushes it off making a gesture with his hand. “Uh-um- How about we talk about you!? huh? What things do you like? Earlier, since you said no to everything, I thought you didn't like ANYTHING!” He continued talking without letting me respond. “I didn't know what to do if I ran out of ideas. I started to worry! But at least you're not one of those who spend all day shouting and threatening with a weapon in hand, ahaha...” He let out a nervous laugh.

“Um-”

“Well, you ran away screaming, yes.” He began to gesticulate widely as he complained “Like everyone-! No, not like everyone, some don't run, but those who, apart from running and screaming, attack you...! I mean...!” Something tells me he wasn't going to shut up and I was already half listening. “First they throw rocks at my head, then they insult me and run away. And I have to run after them because I can't just leave a human running around alone! No! I can't! Not in this forest! Anything could happen to them! But they never let me warn them!” He sounded tired. “And when I get them to stop running away from me, they throw things at me again and yell before demanding me to tell them where are they and how to get out of here, and when I explain it, they yell at me even more and accuse me of lying!” He turns to look at me with his hands pointing to his chest. “What reason would I have to lie?!” I don't know if he hasn't noticed or if he's ignoring the deapan I responded with. “UGH! I don't know what to do with those! But anyhow... I'm so glad we found something to do in the end!

“eh?” I snap out of my thoughts. It seems that now he is directing the conversation to me.

“The pebbles!” He sits turning his body towards me, leaving one single leg hanging from the bridge and the other resting on it. He takes out of his pocket some of the pebbles that he had been collecting with me. “I don't know why I assumed you wouldn't want to look for rocks. Maybe because you didn't want to paint them before... You left them back in the river in the end tho, I thought you would keep some.”

“Ah... I don't know. I didn't think I could take them with me.”

“You can keep some of mine!”

“No, it's okay.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“You suuuuure??” He insist.

“Yeees.”

He puts a pebble very close to my face “Suuuuuuuure?” Each 'u' sounding higher than the last.

“...” I push the pebble away from my face “Yeeeees.”

“mmmh... Okay! But I hope you don't regret it later when you don't have a cool rock like these and think 'Oh man, I could have a cool rock right now!'.” After a bad impression of me, he keeps the rocks in his pants. “So... Besides pebbles, what else do you like? Mm? I haven't been able to deduce much from today.”

“Don't know.”

“What do you mean you don't know!? Oh! Is it a secret?” He approaches and starts to whisper, putting his hands to the mask's mouth “I won't tell anyone, promise.”

“No. I don't know.” I looked to the side. “I can't think of anything... so suddenly.”

“ooow...” He slumps a little over the railing, looking sad.

“…” I hesitate whether to say something or not “...Drawing...”

“Mmm?!” He no longer seems sad.

“And listening to music, I guess.” “It's... all I do... most of the time.”

“Really!? Oh! I also like drawing! And music! But is that really all you do all day? Don't you do other kinds of things? Like reading! Or writting. Don't you go out for a walk or play with your friends?” I wrinkle my face at that last bit and he tilts his head in confusion.

“I don't go out.” “I have comics, but I rarely read.”

“Comics?”

“Um... They are stories but instead of narrating what happens there are drawings and only what the characters say is written.”

“...It's a book with drawings?”

“Yeah, but with a lot of drawings on each page, from start to finish.”

“WOAH.” He sounded perplexed. “That's drawing A LOT.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Ahh, I'd love to see what they look like.” He rested his arm on the railing to hold his head in his hand “Too bad I can't…”

“I didn't bring them anyway.”

“Do you normally carry them around?”

“No, it's just that I didn't bring them to the village with me, I left them at home.”

“...” “Oh!” It seems that something has clicked on him. “You are not from the village.”

“No, I'm from a more urban area. My family used to come to the village every year in the summer, but we stopped coming. Now it seems that we are trying to get back into the habit.” I sighed.

“Why did you stop coming?”

“...That's personal.”

“Oh... okay.” He let a minute of awkward silence pass. “Hey, I can bring some books that I have at home! I think you might be interes-!” He looks away from me to the sunset behind us, the sun is almost gone. “-ted...” I look at the sunset too and then at him with confusion. “...” “...oh...oh-OH, Oh-no!” He stands up abruptly causing the bridge to shake slightly. What could have he seen? “We have to move!” He extends a hand to help me up. “We have to start moving!”

I get up in a hurry on my own, ignoring his hand. “O-okay, to where?”

“Come, run!” Once again he grabs me by the arm and leads me over the bridges between the trees until we reach a tree hut. It's small and dark, it looks like a small shelter. He opens the door and enters “You'll spend the night here, stay inside, do not go out, try to hide well and don't open the windows or doors, okay? Here, there are some blankets. I'll come back later.”

“Wait wait wait! What? What do you mean you'll come back later? What's happening? Why do I have to hide-!?”

“Sssh-ssh-sh” He grabs me and covers my hand with his, his left hand resting on the back of my right hand. He begins to speak in a calmer tone, with a voice that I had not heard him use until now. “It's okay, nothing happens. I have to go, I'll come back, but I can't stay now. You hide, try to rest, I'll be back, I promise.”

“...” I take my hand away from his. “Okay.” “I'll stay, but don't take too long.” Please, I don't want to be here alone.

“Yes. I'll be back.” He affirmed one last time. I watch him run away and disappear among the trees and undergrowth. I enter the small shelter to inspect it.

*TAP TAP TAP* *PLOK* *TAP TAP FOOSSSH! *

…? A noise comes from behind me. I turn around and there's a pebble on the floor.

…

Okay.

I take out my phones flashlight to see better inside the house. There are what appear to be some trunks, small cabinets, and a trapdoor in the floor, It seems that there are corners and blind spots for the windows where the little moonlight that enters through the cracks cannot reach. It's freezing cold and I haven't brought my jacket. I leave the bag on the floor against the wall, I cover myself with the blanket and curl up in a ball in the most hidden corner I can find. I'm tired, I want to sleep, but I can't close my eyes.

…

—

It's been a few hours now.

…

I can't sleep, I simply can't.

…

It doesn't look like he's coming back.

*creek*

…?

*rin*

*tap tap, creek*

Sun?

“S-...” I pause before saying a word, I have the feeling I shouldn't speak. I remain silent and wait.

*tap, tap, tap, creeeeeek, tap*

*rin dirrin*

If it were Sun he would have already let me know it is him. That or he's playing a prank on me which isn't funny, but I'd better stay silent. From the shadow I look at the windows. I notice movement through the cracks, something has just passed through the wall next to me.

*dirriring dirring*

I cover myself more with the blanket, back against the wall, I stay as still as I can, I leave a gap between the blankets and the floor to see. A red glow sneaks through the cracks in the window and scans the room.

…

The glow is gone.

*tap, tap, rin, tap, dirring, tap, tap*

It's on the roof.

…

*tap, tap, tap...*

It moves again.

*rin *

…

It sounded on the other side of the wall.

…

…

“nghehe...”

It laughed. Why did it laugh? Whatever is on the other side of the wall just let out a laugh that made the hairs on the back of my neck and all over my back rise.

…

Oh no.

Oh no no no no no no no no.

I have to move. I have to get out of here. I can't stay here.

*creeek*

It came from the door. It's trying to get in.

*rin*

The trapdoor.

*rin dirring*

Where was the trapdoor?

*creek creeeek*

I crawl across the floor making the minimum noise, carefully feeling the floor, looking for the edge of the door.

*tap tap ring dirring*

…!

I found it. I open it carefully. It's too high. I'm at a very high altitude, I don't know if I'll be able to go down.

*rin, creeek...*

…

Fuck it. I slip through the gap quietly, closing it slowly, but that doesn't stop the door from creaking. I cling to the bark of the tree-

…

I left my bag. If it comes in and see it it'll know for sure that I have been there-

…

It doesn't matter now. I have to focus on getting down from the tree without killing myself. My fingers hurt and I can't put my foot down properly because of the soles of my boots. I feel like I'm going to slip at any moment. Somehow I make it to the ground. Still attached to the tree, I look up at the house. I don't see it-

…

A shadow appears from behind the tree. I press myself against the tree and hold my breath. It's looking for something. When he doesn't seem to look I move to a nearby tree, he moves to another tree, I move to the next, and the next, and the next. We continue like this until I start to get further and further away from him. When I think I've lost him I start running. I hide behind a tree to catch my breath.

…

I slowly peek out from behind the tree.

*rin*

…

It sounded above me.

…

I don't look up, I run.

“nnghehee...” He laughs.

He gives me a few seconds advantage before coming after me. The chase begins.

I run forward as much as I can, I hear his footsteps behind me but I don't look back, there's no time for that. I hear him laughing like a madman as he moves from left to right, from one tree to another, crawling on the ground, trying to confuse me, waiting for me to make the slightest mistake to catch me.

“Ah-” I trip. As soon as I fall to the ground I get up, ripping my stockings and scraping my knees, falling again, my nerves not letting me stand up.

“Nnhehehhehe...” Asshole. He has stopped running, he approaches by walking. I try to keep as much distance as my hands and legs allow me to move. I search desperately with my hand for something on the ground to throw. Finally my hand finds something.

I throw a rock at him “AGH!”

The rock passes by him, flying one or two meters away from him. He hasn't even moved, he didn't move a single muscle to avoid it, he just watches me still from where he is. I hear the nearby *pof* of the rock falling to the ground.

“...”

“...”

…

I get up and run. He grabs my leg and I fall to the ground again. He won't let me get up, every time I try he throws me to the ground. I struggle, I kick, but I don't break free from his grip. He never stops laughing, he is enjoying this. He drags me closer to him, no matter how much I twists, he doesn't let go. “ACKH-!...Hhhh-hh...-hh-h...” He grabs me by the neck, red pupils stared at me, I'm looking straight into his crescent moon mask (or waning, I don't know. Do you think I care right now?). He raises his free hand and his veins begin to glow a platinum color that extends to his fingertips. The hand approaches my face, I don't know what it's going to do to me, I'm scared, I don't want to look. I close my eyes, cover my face with my hands. I wait.

…

…

…?

Nothing's happening. It stopped. Why?

“Mun, nïe.” I hear Sun's voice. I open my hands a little to see what's going on. Indeed, it is Sun, several meters away from us... He looks exhausted. The one with the moon mask stares at him for a moment, until he decides to look at me again while bringing his glowing veiny hand closer. “¡Mun!” The Moonman looks at Sun again “Fehreh.” He seems to speak another language, I don't understand what he says.

“...” “Nïe” For the first time I hear him say something else besides laughing. Even though I can't understand him.

“Fïer pehgïer.” Sun responds.

“...” Moonman remains silent again.

“Bïelïe óubseh góuh...” Sun continues.

“Móu txehb móunsuvïe.” The Moon responds.

“Lïe bóu ¿Sóundïe mïesugïeb fehreh nïe txehtehrlïe?”

…

The air feels tense. Probably because of the hand grabbing my neck.

“¿Zkaóu fuóunbehb txehtóur tkaehnvïe nïe bóueh mehb zkaóu ïesreh rehuh óunsóurrehveh óun leh suóurreh?” Longest sentence I've heard him say so far.

“...” “Fïer óubseh góuh.” “...” “Vóuyehmóu óuntehrdehrmóu vóu óulleh” Sun takes a step forward “Nïe suóunóu fïer zkaóu ehtehkehr ehbu” Another step forward “Nïe sóunóumïeb fïer zkaóu txehtóurlóub... óubsïe” Another step “Óullïeb bïelïe óubsehn... fóurvuvïeb.”

“...” There's no response from the moon man.

“Behkehb tïemïe óub óubïe.”

“...”

…

The hand that grabbed my neck now grabs my shirt and yanks it. I grab his wrist as he pulls me to my feet and drags me to Sun, making me stumble. He throws me against him. Sun catches me before I fall over.

“Ska óubpkaóurhïe óub óun gehnïe.” The moon says something as he walks past. Sun puts a hand on his shoulder before letting him go, there's a pause between the two. The Moonman disappears into the trees. Wind and leaves are heard passing by.

…

He's gone. I feel dizzy. I fall down.

—

…

…

…

A faint light begins to seep through the cracks, illuminating enough to wake me up and make me open my eyes, I look around. I see my bag propped against the wall. I'm at the shelter where Sun left me.

…

My body aches, I have a hard time keeping my eyes open, it feels like I've been sleeping on the hard floor. No, wait, there are some blankets underneath me... It's still too hard to sleep well, either that or as I said, it shouldn't help me at all that everything hurts. After a while of staring at the ceiling I try to sit up. I emphasize trying. With every slight effort a pained moan escapes me.

“Oof...” Hurts.

*creek, tap tap tap tap*

Those wood creaks bring back bad memories from last night (which by the way, I'm alive, wow, I just realized), I can't help but cringe at every noise, I hear footsteps approaching, I try to move but the stinging pain prevents me from it.

*creek... *

The door opens.

Triangular shapes appear through the door followed by orange earth tones. “…Oh…!” “Early bird!” Thank god it's Sun and not the other one, or something worse “I didn't expect you up this early!” He says laughingly.

“ah?”

“How are you feeling?” He walks in. When he sets foot inside I lean back, towards the wall. “...” I don't really know why I did that. Sun stands at the door showing confusion with his usual head tilt. “...Arrr...re you okay, Fern?”

“...” I became tense suddenly. I really don't know still if I can trust him? He hasn't done anything to me yet but that doesn't mean that I can trust him. I don't know if he plans to do something with me like whatever that other one, the moon one, was going to do last night. “...ehh...hhh...h...” I can't get a word out, I'm afraid to ask.

“Mm?”

“...” I don't know what to say to him. My eyes go somewhere else.

…

He enters further into the house, ignoring that I keep my distance from him, leaves a bag he was carrying on the floor and begins to open the windows, letting in the little light of the dawn that is just beginning. He kneels on the floor in front of me with the bag. “Are you hungry?” He opens the bag and takes out an apple “Do you like apples?”

“...”

“No?”

“...”

“Um... I also brought berries... (It's what I had on hand coming here) There are... different types, you can choose” He brings the bag closer to me. I move further away. “uhhh...”

“...” I want to leave.

“You don't like them either...?”

“...” I don't want to eat. I want to leave.

“...”

“*snif... *”

“u-um...!”

“...*snif* *sob*...” I started crying out of nowhere.

“Ahhh...! D-do- don't cry! Ah-I-Um- Ca-can go find other things you might like-!”

I felt ashamed for crying and I put my hands to my face trying to wipe away the tears, but they wouldn't stop coming. “*hic, sniff, snif *” I looked away in an attempt to cover my face. I ended up looking at the floor, letting my hair act as a curtain.

“I can go in a moment!” Sun was already getting up.

“...w-want to leave...” I managed to get a murmur out.

“...W-what? Um...”

“...” *hic, hic *

“O-okay, um... If you aren't hungry... -we can do something else- uh- we can go look for rocks like yesterday in the river!”

“...” I don't want to do anything “...want to leave...”

“O-or we can do something else! Ah-bah-b-b-b- W-won't you like to go draw??! Somewhere, some landscape?! Wherever you want! We can draw together! If you prefer we can look for animals instead of landscapes!”

“...leave...want to...go... *hic, snif *”

“¡D-don't n- uh! ¡L-let's... um- let's not- uh!” He no longer knew how to order his words “H-hey, ¿Why don't we go to-?” He extends his hand towards my arm.

“I want to go home...”

He stops before touching me and removes his hand. “...” “...home?” There is a pause. He remains silent and unmoving. He finally speaks “Do you want…?” His tone became more serious.

“...”

“...to... go see the portal?” I look up slightly, I can't see through the tears and the fogged lenses of my glasses.

“...” I nod my head.

—

…

We didn't walk far until the red began to become visible. He brought me back to the portal. The same plain of red leaves and stone arch in the center of it all, as yesterday.

…

Sun has been quiet the entire time.

He advances towards the portal and stands facing it. He turns. “Come.” He extends his hand towards me. “You can pass through.”

“...”

I advance towards the portal. I stop before crossing. If it doesn't take me back home, what do I do? I don't want to stay.

A breeze begins to come out of the portal. The breeze turns to wind, the leaves rise, they pass through us. It's the same thing that happened yesterday when I went to cross. I turn to face Sun. Motionless, he looks back at me, the leaves pause in the air for a second as if time has stopped, the wind changes. From where the wind and leaves came now they come in, they push me towards the portal. I finally cross it.

…

Am I in the forest I know? I turn to look at Sun who stayed behind in the portal. “...Sun?” He's not there. I look around. He's not here. I've already crossed the portal, he must have left.

I notice a sudden draft pass by me. It's soft, like someone walking past you. I turn towards the forest, I have to start moving, I don't want to be here another minute.

...The air current that I noticed has lifted some leaves, they reach the trees, between them the wind does something strange, it forms a transparent silhouette. It looks like Sun, I can barely see him but I could swear it's him. The wind figure raises its hand and makes a gesture, it wants me to follow it. When I approach it turns around and walks into the forest, leaving a trail of leaves behind it. I follow the trail of the air current. Sometimes it stops to look at me, making sure I'm still following it. The red-leafed trees and the paintings disappear from view the farther we go. We crossed the forest until we arrived at the entrance of the town, near my house. There is no one on the street. If I walked into the house and pretended nothing had happened, officially no one would have noticed my absence.

I'm not one hundred percent sure if the wind figure that guided me is Sun or not, but I should at least thank him for bringing me back.

…

The air current has dissipated before I turn around. I look around, there's no one.

…

…

…

I enter the house, go up to my room and throw the bag on the floor. I go to the bathroom to wash. …I feel something strange in my hands but I couldn't say what. Doesn't matter. I change my clothes and get into bed, the tiredness of the previous night makes my body succumb immediately and I fall asleep instantly.

—

…

…

…

“ah...!” I wake up with my lungs begging for air. I need a moment to calm my breathing. I look at the clock without lifting my head from the pillow.

…

It is 12 midday. I rub my eyes and from my eyes I move to my face. I'm still tired. My body still aches. I stare at the ceiling.

…

My bag. I reach out to pick it up from the floor, making strange positions so as not to get out of bed.

I open it and search in the pockets. The bell. I put the bell to my ear. “...” I shake it.

*rin, diring diring*

“...”

I open it.

…

It's empty.

[ominous-faechild]

✦ Writer Questionnaire 2 ✦

Thanks for the tag, @the-golden-comet! (And @the-letterbox-archives tagging me when I was almost done here, haha)

Heads-up! Long post!

How long have you had your writing Tumblr/Writeblr? A fast and loose estimate is fine!

Two months ago to the date actually??? Or, at least, that's when I first uploaded a story here. My first actual Writeblr post was me hopping in on an open tag on the 6th of June, haha. I thought it was just a month, but looks like the summer's gone by in a flash! 😭

What led you to create it?

So, I'm a writer on Tapas! I'd been attempting to social network on other social medias (twitter and bluesky) but wasn't getting anywhere, didn't like the general formats, and uh... I'm sure I don't have to explain why I don't want to touch Twitter with a 10-foot-pole anymore. Let's just say, if you haven't seen, it's just as bad as (if not worse than) everyone says. Anyhow, I'd seen lots of Tumblr short stories on other platforms and started investigating what it's like here. Didn't know what "Writeblr" was or that it even existed, but eventually stumbled into the field after posting my short story. Thanks, @darkandstormydolls! ❤️

What’s your favorite thing about the Writeblr community?

How supportive everyone is??? Like omg you guys are so sweet, idk how to take it. Also I love seeing how much passion everyone else has for their writing, haha.

What’s one thing you’d like your mutuals to know about you?

Uhhhh, I think I'm pretty open about the things I'd like people to know about me, haha. I never mean to offend, so if I accidentally say something wrong, please tell me! I'm autistic and very dumb.

Is there anything you’d like to see more of on your dash?

I'm ngl I keep meaning to build out my followed tags for my fandoms, haha. The only fandoms I really see things for are TMAGP (10/10, TMA is my obsession. I am obsessed. It is one of my Special Interests and I love it with all my heart) and House of the Dragon??? Except I'm not even a fan of HotD??? So that's kinda annoying, haha. (Aka, my fandom stuff, but that's on me.)

WIP it Good

Which Works-in-Progress (WIPs) or writing projects are you noodling about, lately?

Rising From the Ashes, tragically. (Because it's one of the LAST things I should be working on right now, haha.) Otherwise, I'm of course always obsessed with the Arcane Rifts. Then I force myself to be obsessed with Sun and Shadow, though it's slowly growing on me, haha.

How long have you been working on them?

Haha, so I've historically jumped around a lot in working on different things, so these are approximate guesstimations!

Rising From the Ashes has likely had 3 or 4 years put into it/the characters. If you include the Calamity Crew (which overlaps with it in the timeline and originally ended up merging with the cast of RFtA), I'd say definitely 4 years!

The Arcane Rifts has had 5 years put into it.

Sun and Shadow is very new; I'd say it probably only has about 4 months of work in it? It's part of why I'm less interested in it, haha. Less I've put into it and less I'm attached to.

Do you remember what inspired them/what got you started?

Oh... oh dear. How could you ask me this??? 😭😭😭

Rising From the Ashes has existed since, I think, 2016. It started (tragically) as an RP starter on Google+. I wish I was kidding.

To those unaware of how it worked in that space (and likely similar ones to this day), you'd post a starter and people would join in with their own characters. 99% of the time, they'd drop out before long. However, I'd work out details of the characters in the process and carry that info over into the worldbuilding. I eventually stopped RPing with the masses and settled down with a single "partner" who I'll call Kris.

She's the one who stole my docs.

The Arcane Rifts technically originated as another RP starter? It never got attention, though, and instead my ideas for it simply carried over into the worldbuilding in general.

One of the characters of the original starter was important in the worldbuilding. It was not a character you see in the early books of tAR, though, so don't bother trying to figure it out. But, since he was so important, his origins were also important.

The Arcane Rifts started in 2019, as I wanted to make a story building out said character's origins. It was originally going to be a duology, the first book being Gene's backstory and the second being how Gene and The Other Guy's lives intertwined. (No, they were not gay for each other! 😂) It's since changed a lot, and focuses basically exclusively on Gene, haha. The last book in the series will probably be focused on the other character, though!

Sun and Shadow started for a romance novel competition on Tapas which has since ended. I didn't get to finish it in time for a lot of reasons, but I primarily cite stress and exhaustion from working full time at a physically-intensive job. It grew shockingly quickly and I had some fans donate to me related to it, so I'm kinda forced to work on it, haha. Dw--I like it! It's just harder to work on for a number of reasons, haha.

How much time, in your best estimation, do you spend thinking about them?

Tragic, the questions you're asking me--

It depends, haha. I'm autistic and hyperfixate a lot. Also, for one, that's a suuuuuper vague question??? Like what do you mean "how much time"--how much time within the day? How often in general? Idk, man, haha.

I think about the Arcane Rifts a LOT!

I've put an incredible amount of time and effort into it, and I'm in love with 90% of the characters there. Even the background characters have had a lot of work put into them, getting relatively fleshed-out backstories to make their motives understandable (even if not agreeable!), and I love them all so much, haha.

Except Katerina. She's a bitch.

I also think about Rising From the Ashes a good amount, and it's invaded my brain again lately, haha.

I took a step away from RFtA and basically all of my other stories late 2021 when Kris (my ex-writing partner) and I had a falling out. It was incredibly difficult for me emotionally to look at anything I worked with her on, and obviously RFtA was a huge one (actually, tAR was the only thing of my early works she had nothing to do with). Since early this year, I've finally been able to work on it again and it's been incredibly fun removing her stuff, actually!

I think all that is a good part of why I keep randomly getting obsessed with it again, haha. It's like looking at old friends (the characters, not Kris) and being all "omg??? I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN FOREVER??? PLEASE TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU'VE BEEN UP TO!!!" except it's removing Kris's stuff, haha.

I think about Sun and Shadow a lot more than you might expect with how much I talk about not preferring it, haha. I love the characters! Crow and, actually, Valyarus especially. They're both super interesting characters, and I'll randomly find my brain working out scenes between characters interacting with them.

(The problem with SaS is that, as a book, it's incredibly different from my usual works. It's a small cast of Frey/Crow and technically Daleira, while most of my stories focus on larger casts. It makes for a VERY different experience, and so it's a lot harder to work on)

When someone asks the dreaded, “What do you write about,” question, what do you usually say?

Actually, I've got a ready answer for this one! Until SaS, I was dedicating my time to the Arcane Rifts and had prepared the answer:

Percy Jackson meets Lord of the Rings in a steampunk fantasy world full of ✨mysteries waiting to be uncovered✨

(I'd say the "mysteries waiting to be uncovered" part ironically/accidentally mockingly most of the time, whoops, haha. I always feel awkward advertising my works.)

It was awkward when people would get actually interested in it from there and ask more questions, haha.

To clarify: that's my tagline for the Arcane Rifts! The story has gods and demigods messing with mortals, using them as their playthings and being REALLY immature babies because they don't really face consequences for their actions like PJ. Then, it's a lot more "grounded yet fantastical" like LotR, where magic is kinda infused with reality and yet you still have issues like starving to death and whatnot.

Let’s Rotate Blorbos

Name any characters you created.  Side characters, protagonists, antagonists, characters who’ve never been written, the first original abomination you ever pulled from your ass; whomever you’d like!

UHHHH THERE'S A LOT TO LIST???

Try this for a taste! These are just the guys I've gotten colors for!

Freya, Crow, Daleira, Valyarus, Grimnir, Soren, Gene, Tazin, Mislav, Adilzhan, Ludmila, Rada, Caspar, Nikolai, Gennadi, Oska, Rieka, Liesel, Carmin, Nora, Sammy, Kieva, Caron, Varik, Elazi, Riaan, Roman, and Tiberius! (Though Tib is getting a name change sooner or later)

Who’s the most unhinged?

Unhinged in which way? There's a lot of options there, haha.

I'm going to give honorary mentions to Valyarus, Gene in the later books, Tazin, Rieka, Gennadi, and Tiberius ! (Why does it not surprise me that most unhinged characters are from tAR? 🤣 Also I swear it's a coincidence most of the unhinged characters are red.)

(... Probably.)

In general, I'd say that, incredibly ironically, the Existence of Order is the most unhinged of all my characters. She's just incredible at hiding it.

(Tbf half of the Existentials probably belong on the "unhinged" list anyway but eh. They still don't compare to Order!)

Who comes the most naturally for you to write?

I'm going to give this as a tie between Gene and Sammy!

Gene has my 'tisms and just about all of my trauma, so we have a lot in common, whoops, haha. Also there's a... very specific detail about his character that makes him easier to write in general. It's just a major spoiler. 👀

Similarly and actually identically to Gene in some ways, while Sammy has a lot in common with me, he's also incredibly perceptive! (Although we don't share that fact.)

Due to the way I write, their analytical natures allow for them to spit straight facts about the worldbuilding and the people around them rather than beating around the bush, haha. Both are highly investigative, try to learn and understand everything around them, and notice small details other characters wouldn't! It makes it much easier for me to write, because uh... well here's an example of what my outlines look like.

Long story short: I include a lot of detail which I then transfer into the POV's character narration, cutting out details which they wouldn't notice or think about, haha. In Sammy's case (which that scene has Sammy as the narrator/POV character), very little information gets cut out because he's so perceptive!

(Here, as a treat--have another example!)

(In this scene, Nikolai is the narrator. Even the outline gets "filtered" to mirror the characters' way of thinking--like it's Nikolai himself seeing Caspar as "doll-like". The crossed-out stuff is details I most likely won't mention, but noted for myself, haha. I do the same thing if/when including details about the motives and thoughts of non-narrator characters.)

Do you ever cringe at them?

Gene and Sammy?

A B S O L U T E L Y .

Gene is a wreck in basically every way and desperately needs help (that he won't get until he meets Dimitry). As much as I love him, there's a lot of moments where you just can't help but wince and be all "shit, did you REALLY have to do/say that?"

Sammy on the other hand? He's a terrified, control freak manipulator who panics the moment he feels like he's losing control of a situation. It can be painful to watch, even if simultaneously fascinating.

How much control do you feel you have over your characters?  AKA, do they ever “write themselves,” refuse to cooperate, or do things you didn’t expect? To what degree? Are some less cooperative than others?

I explicitly go out of my way to add backstory to and develop each and every one of my characters until they "write themselves", haha.

I want my characters to feel like real people, so I do my absolute best to make them as real as possible. (That's part of why tAR is so massive...)

Special shoutout to Dimitry here, btw. Dude COMPLETELY screwed over the planned and intended from the earliest days path of the Arcane Rifts. I've mentioned before that Gene is villain-coded, yeah? Want to know why?

Because he was MEANT to be one! Then Dimitry had to come along, be the sweetest, nicest fucking person around to Gene while he was going through the worst part of his life, and keep Gene from slipping off the deep end!

MITRY, YOU PIECE OF--

Do you enjoy people asking questions about your characters? And do you have a preferred means of receiving said questions? For example, as Asks, as replies, as reblogs, as tag notes, as comments on AO3, etc.

I absolutely love, love, love!!! people asking questions about my characters!!! 🥰

I would absolutely prefer them as Asks sent to me, and especially would prefer if separate subjects/questions were sent in separate Asks! Like, say you were going to ask me about Gene and Dimitry. I'd rather two separate Asks, one asking for whatever you wanted to know about Gene and another for whatever you wanted to know about Dimitry, haha. However, if you wanted to ask a single question about both, that obviously is fine as a single Ask!

On writeblr engagement

What makes you want to follow another Writeblr account? Do you follow ‘em as you see ‘em, or take time scoping out the blog to make sure you align with its content? Do you follow based on WIPs, or vibes?

I definitely scope out before I follow, yes.

I choose based primarily on the personality of the person behind the blog, but the WIPs/vibes can also have an influence on my decision, haha. I'd rather follow people with kind/supportive personalities, and I'll eventually start liking their stories even if they're not initially my thing!

What makes you decide against following?

Bigotry. Moment I see it, I'm on the lookout for even the slightest hint of more and, if I see it, I'm OUT!

(That includes things like: homophobia, transphobia, TERFs, ableism, racism, xenophobia, etc.)

Also, while I include angst in my stories, the people who are big on "I have nothing but bad stuff in my writing and I'm proud" are, uh... not on my "follow" list. While they can write what they want and enjoy it, grimdark is not my thing. Angst is best in moderation and I very purposely control the amount of it in my life.

(Also Kris's--my ex writing partner's--obsession with "grimdark-ness" is a good part of why I'm so ecstatic to remove her stuff from my writing. Yes, I've tried it. For years. I hated it. Please and thank you. Also note that I proudly call myself an evil writer, so it's not like I don't love angst, it's just--moderation. Seriously.)

Do you interact with non-mutuals often?

Yes! I think a good 50-30% of my interactions are with non-moots, haha. I go out of my way to try to support my moots, but I'll definitely share support with anything that catches my attention, no matter who it's from!

To be fair, though, I think a majority of non-moots I interact with are on my mental "probably going to follow soon" list. I can be slow to make decisions, haha. It doesn't help that I try being active with my moots, so I'm trying to avoid growing that list too quickly!

Do your mutuals’ characters occupy space in your noodle?

Haha, depends what you mean by that? My brain is definitely too full of my own characters to have any space for anyone else's, but I definitely do think of others' characters at times! There's plenty of y'alls characters I really like, haha.

Just... omg, my hyperfixated AuDHD brain refuses to focus on anything except for the Hyperfixation of the Moment™.

This was a huge one! Hopefully I'm not screaming into the void with this one, or you guys enjoy finding out more about me and my WIPs.

If you're curious about the reason this is labeled Writer Questionnaire 2... well guess what!

Tagging (gently! This is a lot, haha): @honeybewrites @yourpenpaldee @paeliae-occasionally @mysticstarlightduck @illarian-rambling @.darkandstormydolls (tagged you earlier in the post haha) + open tags!

Divider from @cafekitsune!

[kwanisms]

I was tagged by @junkissed and @hannieween and @shadowkoo to do this and it looks like a lot of fun so I decided to give it a go! this game was started by the amazing june so be sure to check out her post as well!

My blog turned 6 years old this past June. Two of those years I was absent but I've been back consistently for 2 years again. This year has been a wild ride. I've seen more activity this year, made a bunch of new friends, joined new networks, and even added some new groups and soloists to my repertoire. I feel comfortable in my writing but am always looking to improve.

Thank you to everyone who has followed, liked, reblogged, commented, and sent messages this year! Your feedback means more to me than you could possibly know. I can't wait to see what 2025 has in store for not only me but for all of us!

「 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 」

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»» Emotional Support | chapter 3 of Under Your Skin »» posted jan 18 »» author's notes: this is a series I haven't touched in almost a year. I'd really like to come back to it but the inspiration just isn't there. Hopefully I can come back soon since this series is still new and in the early chapters.

「 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 」

»» Thrill of the Chase | Kinktober Day 29 »» date posted oct 29 »» author's notes: originally I wasn't sure if I wanted to make the MC in this a rabbit hybrid but I'm glad that I ended up going with the chipmunk hybrid instead. This fic was meant to be equal parts fun and slightly thrilling as he stalks her through their house. I mean, who wouldn't want Choi San hunting them through their shared house?

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「 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐜 」

»» Of Hellfire & Saints 01 • 02 | Library of Illusion // 50.2k »» posted sept 11 & 13 »» author's notes: the fic so long, I had to split it into two posts. This one just got away from me but there was a lot I wanted to happen in this part and it never occurred to me to split Hongjoong's origin story into three parts. I never expected it to get to fifty thousand words either. This Library of Illusion universe that I've created is among my favorite universes on my blog. I love all of the lore and background of each character. Hopefully in the new year, I can finish Seonghwa's and continue on to the sequel series.

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「 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐨𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐜 」

»» Sweet Temptations | CoDNet Spring Event '24 // 1.5k notes »» posted jun 4 »» author's notes: originally one of three planned entries for the Language of Flowers event for CoDNet, I ended up only being able to do this one and I'm very proud of it. I didn't expect it to get as much attention as it did because let's face it, longer fics don't get a lot of attention on this site, but we've long since established that I am almost incapable of writing less than 10k. Almost. I love the characters in this, I love the open and honest communication between the main characters and I love the inclusion of visual details like the sticky note and the letter. I plan to use those more often because they're just so fun!

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「 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 」

»» Aphrodisia | alien!Minho // 5.4k »» posted oct 25 »» author's notes: what originally started as just a singular oneshot for my 2023 Kinktober Creature Feature has since grown into something else. This is a sequel to that piece but not a direct sequel. This universe has also grown into something I never expected. The world building I put into the first oneshot has carried over and will continue to carry over in the series when they come out. I love Minho's species, I love the details, and I love everything about Minho and MC's relationship.

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「 𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 」

🥇 Hongjoong | 83.7k 🥈 Seonghwa | 28.4k 🥉 Jihoon | 21.5k »» author's notes: if you had asked me at the beginning of the year who I would write the most words for, none of these faces would have come to mind. I had been struggling to write for Hongjoong and Seonghwa for the first half of the year and then came August and with it, the Ateez tour in my neck of the woods which I got free tickets for. (Thank you again Nox). That concert send my brain into overdrive and as soon as I was home and recovered from covid, I got to work. I wrote all of The Witch & the Lamb as well as Of Hellfire & Saints by listening to Halazia and This World on repeat. It made my brain go brrrrrr.

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「 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 」

»» total no. of fics: 31 »» total wc of 2024: 230.8k »» author's notes: I've never kept track of my fic stats for one year so I have nothing to compare this to but I will be keeping track from now on because this is interesting to see written down. I've averaged 630 words per day so I'd like to see how next year goes and see if I increase or decrease.

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「 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 」

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In 2025, I'd like to get back into a couple of my series that are on hiatus as well as improve my overall story telling. I'd also like to be more consistent in my upload schedule and actually stick to a schedule for once. I'd also love to interact with my readers again. While engagement is up on my works, interaction is not and I'd like to see that change in the coming year. I also plan to celebrate my latest milestone at the beginning of 2025.

tagging these few folks and anyone else who wants to participate but hasn't been tagged and sees this. you can say I tagged you

@yoonguurt @nebulousbrainsoup @yuncheoligans @ddeonghwa-s

@ja3hwa @anyamaris @jinhyun @moonjxsung @ncteez @binniebeams

[quakinqueer]

Hey so I've had this in my drafts for well over a month, then that recent smosh mouth came out, rendering this near useless, but I'm still gonna post it cause why not.

Beginner's Guide to Smosh Seasonal Games

(For newer fans, even though no one asked. And yes I'm manifesting summer/winter games 2024, look away.) Mostly sourced from the Smosh Wiki.

1- Smosh Summer Games! (2015)

1st trailer aired: June 27, 2015 ~ Finale: July 31, 2015 This was the OG that started it all! No theme, unless you count it being entirely held at a beach house. Very classic smosh vibes, inappropriate jokes, and queerbaiting galore, with 12 episodes total across Pit (2nd channel at the time) and Games. (tbh I haven't seen this one). This was held shortly after the 'main squad' was cast (Keith, N*ah, Olivia, and Courtney), and was Shayne's official introduction to the channel! Teams/Cast: Bananarama: Anthony (Captain), Lasercorn (David Moss), Courtney, N*ah, Mari Takahashi, Jovenshire (Joshua Evan Ovenshire). Jiggle Physics: Ian (Captain), W*s J*hns*n, Sohinki (Matt Sohinki), Flitz (Amra Ricketts). Keith, Olivia. Refs/Hosts: Shayne, Joe Beretta Winners: Bananarama Special Awards: MVP - N*ah, LVP - Lasercorn, Biggest Fail - Olivia.

2- Smosh Winter Games! (2016)

1st trailer aired: Jan 30, 2016 ~ Final Ep: Feb 29, 2016 The first Winter Games! Similar classic vibes to the first, except by this time the 'main squad' was much more settled in and comfortable with each other, and the overall cast. Strangely, Ian and Anthony didn't actually participate in the games, but commentated (not sure why). Combo of actual competition eps and also videos for other shows aka specials (s-s-s-sleepover, put it in my mouth) that were winter games themed. 23 videos total across 2nd Channel (Pit) and Games. Teams/Cast: Snow Fleeks: Anthony (captain), Mari, W*s, Sohinki, Keith, Olivia, refs. Blue Balls: Ian (captain), Lasercorn, Shayne, Courtney, Flitz, N*ah, Jovenshire. Refs/Hosts: M*tt R**b, Joe Beretta, Sunny Peabody. Winners: Blue Balls Special Awards: MVP- Olivia, LVP- Joven, Epic Moment- Lasercorn, Biggest Fail- W*s. (Lasercorn got Epic Moment for dropping an actual fire rap during the *wrap* battle)

3- Smosh Summer Games: Camp (2016)

1st trailer aired: June 25, 2016 ~ Final Ep: July 30, 2016 The first one to have a theme, extremely iconic, the vibes were starting to peak around this time with the main squad being almost fully settled in by this point. For those of you who do not know, back in the day Smosh had separate casts for main/pit and for games, and the seasonal games were one of the only series where they would consistently appear together, and were originally intended to be a bonding activity. This one was the first to really let those dynamics *shine*, and really have them interact in memorable ways. Also best challenges up until this point cause of the theme. 13 specials and 9 competition episodes across games and 2nd channel, this time accompanied by a few vlogs on Courtney's personal channel. Teams/Cast: Kumbayaaas: Anthony (captain), Jovenshire, N*ah, Olivia, W*s, Courtney, Sohinki Harshmallows: Ian (captain), Mari, Keith, Shayne, Lasercorn, Flitz, refs Refs/Camp Counselors: M*tt R**b, Joe Beretta, Sunny Peabody. Winners: Harshmallows Special Awards: MVP- Olivia, LVP- Sohinki, Epic moment- Ian, Biggest Fail- W*s (Sohinki had to leave early due to sickness and so automatically got LVP)

4- Smosh Winter Games: Again! (2017)

1st trailer aired: Jan 31, 2017 - Final Ep: Feb 28, 2017 Longest seasonal games by far, lot of iconic moments and fun specials, featured CFM's 2nd ever appearance, and was also Boze's debut as a games member! Not much else to say about this one, it's a blast with a lot of classic moments. Oh, and it was the last seasonal games to feature both Ian and Anthony as team captains :,). 19 specials (Game Bang, Board af, hot tub truth or dare, etc.) and 8 competition episodes across pit and games. Teams/Cast: Spaghetti Yetis: Anthony (captain), Boze, Sohinki, Lasercorn, Olivia, Flitz, Shayne Dablizzards: Ian (captain), Keith, W*s, Mari, N*ah, Courtney, Jovenshire Refs/Hosts: M*tt R**b, Joe Beretta, Sunny Peabody, Sarah Whittle, Tanner Risner. Winners: Spaghetti Yetis Special Awards: MVP - Anthony, LVP - Jovenshire, Epic Moment - Shayne, Biggest Fail - Boze

5- Smosh Summer Games: Wild West! (2017)

Trailer aired: June 26, 2017 - Final ep: July 31, 2017 WWIIIILLLLDDDD HWEST! Let me tell yall this one is ICONIC, for so many reasons, in so many ways. Filmed on an awesome location (a ranch in Nevada), great teams, the production quality was top-notch, and let's not forget the infamous bar-brawl fight choreography of the trailer. So many iconic moments its astounding. Damien's first seasonal games, and also the first to neither feature Anthony nor have team captains (instead of picking teams dodgeball style like they had done previously, this time the teams were picked via a lottery). 15 specials (maricraft, board af, etc.), and 8 competition episodes across pit and games. Fun fact, this season was filmed a week before the "Anthony is leaving smosh" video was released. Teams/Cast: Randy Bandits: Lasercorn, N*ah, Olivia, Damien, Mari, Ian, Flitz Cowbaes: Jovenshire, Courtney, Shayne, Keith, W*s, Sohinki, Boze Refs/Sheriffs: M*tt R**b, Joe Beretta, Sunny Peabody Winners: Randy Bandits Special Awards: MVP - Flitz, LVP - W*s, Epic Moment - Shayne, Biggest Fail - Jovenshire Shayne told his Epic Moment story on the pod, but incase you missed it: during a hangman competition he managed to guess a 2-word answer, with no letters on the board, on his first try. The answer was Wyatt Earp. Some out of context references: "MUNGE", "My name is Calamity Janet, and I am crazy.", "Sorry"×20, *wide shot of damien holding up his fist for like 3 minutes*, *Mama bird*, *shot in the chest* "Where's Anthony?"

6- Smosh Summer Games: We Blew It! (2018)

Trailer aired: August 17, 2018 - Final ep: August 24, 2018 Folks, what can I say, they blew it. They had 10 dollars and a dream for this one, and they tried their best, but it is admittedly still the weakest of the Summer Games. Between airing later than any other, taking place within only a week as opposed to a month, having the least amount of competitions (5) and the least amount of specials (1 Smosh and Order), this one really is a last-ditch effort sort of ordeal. But make no mistake, it's no one's fault but Defy Fuckhead Media Inc.; in case you missed the Smosh mouth ep, the story goes that Defy simply didn't want summer games to happen that year, and gave M*tt R**b an eighth of the usual budget. Despite all this, I'm sure if you go back and watch it, the videos are actually really enjoyable with some fun goofs and special moments. The first games to not feature Sohinki or Flitz, and this time there were team captains, chosen according to the personal awards given the prior year. Teams/Cast: Inflatabulls: Jovenshire (Captain, previous winner of Biggest Fail), Mari, Damien, Courtney, Keith, Boze Balloonatics: Shayne (Captain, previous winner of Most Epic Moment), Lasercorn, N*ah, Ian, W*s, Olivia Refs: M*tt R**b, Sarah Whittle Guest Refs/Guest Judges:  Garrett Palm, Joe Bereta, Spencer Agnew, Tanner Risner and Tim Baker Winners: Balloonatics Special Awards: MVP - Mari, LVP - Damien, Epic Moment/Biggest Win - Lasercorn, Biggest Fail - W*s

7- Smosh Summer Games: Apocalypse! (2019)

Trailer aired: July 15, 2019 - Final ep: August 16, 2019 APPOOOCALYPSSE!! This one ROCKS! Not quite as iconic as Wild West, but it's honestly up there in my opinion. The first and only summer games post-mythical, and a return to normalcy from We Blew It in terms of length, airing schedule, etc., probably because they'd managed to find a sponsor to help with the budget. This one had some greeaat specials, including Spelling Bee-kini Wax, Maricraft, Try Not To Laugh: Gauntlet (so many iconic bits from these tntls, and if I'm not mistaken one of Tommy's earliest appearances), and a lot of Smoshcast. Fun fact, Sohinki was actually invited to participate but was in Italy at the time, so Kimmy was cast as a guest participant instead to even out the teams. The first to have no team selection process or opening ceremony, instead the teams were pre-picked at random and revealed during the trailer. 18 specials and 8 competition episodes across Pit, Games, and Smoshcast. Teams/Cast: ToxiciTea: Jovenshire, Ian, Olivia, Mari, Shayne, W*s Mushroom Clout: N*ah, Lasercorn, Damien, Keith, Courtney, Kimmy Refs: M*tt R**b, Sarah Whittle Guest Refs/Guest Judges:  Joe Bereta Winners: ToxiciTea Special Awards: MVP - Joven, LVP - Shayne, Epic Win/Moment - Courtney, Epic Fail - Ian Fun little end note, Lasercorn, up until this point, had never lost a single season, and had been described for a while as having a 'Winning Streak'. That became a big running gag this season in particular, with Lasercorn describing his team as being 'Blessed by the power of the streak', while ToxiciTea claimed that was the year the streak would be broken. In the end, it was. On Twitter and other socials, the hashtags "#Breakthestreak" and "#Thestreakisreal" were used by the fandom to support either team. Overall super fun season with a lot of fandom involvement.

This took me way too long. Enjoy!

[musingsofalovelymillenial]

Dead Friend Forever Episode 10

I meant to post this yesterday after I watched the episode when it aired but it was a long day yesterday so here we are. I have a lot I want to say about this show in general but that will have to be a different post, so this is just some thoughts about the episode. Spoilers for DFF episode 10 and I guess spoilers if you haven't seen the first Scream movie.

I think Phee and Tan/New are on opposite sides but not in the narrative we are being given. Phee told Jin some things that Phee would have no way of knowing because he was not with Tan when he was doing those things (poisoning Top at the temple (Phee was at the house), hanging the wire, being in the woods with Por (Phee was with Jin when that way happening) ) those are to name few instances where Phee is implying and stating he believes Tan/New did those things not that he actually saw him do those things or that Tan/New told him he did those things.

I think Phee is 100% manipulating Jin or at the very least the situation. I take back what I said last week about Phee having feelings for Jin. I think he does have feelings, but I also believe there is still some major manipulation happening. Phee and Jin could have left that temple whenever they wanted to!! When Phee gets water for Jin he goes back to alter where they walked in and got attacked by Top in the mask. Meaning they are not trapped in that temple so unless it has to do with them or Jin being tired and needing to rest some. They are not trapped. Also, Jin drinks the water, Phee does not, Jin hallucinates, and then after some long discussion we conveniently have an axe that Phee says it must be Tan/New's. Which after the woods knowing what Phee knows about Tan/New and the hallucinations he still chose to conveniently drop the axe right outside the house. I think Phee is just as much of a manipulator of situations. Which leads me to my next point about Phee and his reactions. I think he is possibly pulling a Billy Loomis (Scream!) (I could be wrong, this is just what it reminded me of or the vibe I got) In Scream, Billy secretly in the mask comes after Sydney then pretends it isn't him, then makes himself seem innocent and then gets attacked by the killer (fake dies) only to then be revealed to be the actual killer/one behind the mayhem. I think Phee may be doing this to Jin and may be planning to get Jin to 100% trust and rely on him to then use that against him especially because Tan/New seemed calm with Phee revealing who he is but more importantly I think it ties back to the fact that Phee in present time referred to himself as Non's boyfriend. Not a "I use to be his boyfriend", " I told him to go die and we broke", no. Jin asks, " Tan is Non's brother, the one called New right?" Phee responds "Yes. New came back from England." Jin then asks, " And you're Non's boyfriend?" and Phee says Yes. I think this is important because Jin is clarifying what he has been told and if he is caught up on all the information so at that moment Phee is saying yes, I am Non's boyfriend. I think this will be important going into our final two episodes.

Fluke shot Top in the exact same spot Por got impaled by the branch. Coincidence? Ironic?

Back to Phee and what he told Jin about Por and the woods. He is assuming Por saw Non under the mask or assuming Por saw the masked killer, he would have no way of knowing that it is what Por saw because Por couldn't tell them what he hallucinated. So, in my opinion that is either a big assumption of Phee's part or he lied! I stated back in my original theory post with my deep dive that I think there have been 3 "killers" this whole time. Because someone groped Tee, we still don't know if Tan was hallucinating seeing the masked killer after Fluke hallucinated being choked by Por and there was no way Tan/ New could have lured Por out of the house and into the woods because Tan/ New was with Fluke and Top playing Jenga. And we know if we are to believe Phee, Phee states to Jin that Tan/New must have lured Por out of the house, Phee is directly implying that Por did not hallucinate seeing someone on the CCTV camera which is what led him to seeing someone outside to then be lured out there in the first place. Phee again in my opinion is backing up that there is in fact another people helping them. Whether that person is helping just Phee or Phee and Tan/New we do not know but the likelihood of a third person (Non or possibly White) could very well be true.

White. I want more about him. I think he goes between being calm to crying very quickly. He also seems to be able to manipulate Tee and change the situation. I do believe there is more to White that we know, and I hope the next episode gives us that however if White is innocent and just Tee's boyfriend then I do believe his death will be to show just how far Tan/New is not only willing to go but also the fact that an innocent person is dead due to not only the acts of the original group ( Por, Fluke, Top, Tee, & Jin) but also that the need for revenge or the need for answers ( Phee & Tan/New) has caused the death of an innocent person something they cannot take back. If White dies in the show innocent Tan/New will be responsible for causing the death of someone similar to the brother he was doing all this for in the first place and once again the destruction of a seemingly innocent person will be laid at the feet of the original group and that loss will be a punishment and consequence for Tee's role in Non's life and by extension Tan/New's.

I have more to say about Jin and Phee and the woods, but it will be its own post.

Thank you for listening to my theories, I am interested in seeing the last two episodes play out and see other fans thoughts. As we approach the finale of this show I have truly enjoyed the interactions with people online about it and love watching this show alongside other people!

[kytsuine-blog]

Ok so I'm going to do a better, Tumblr-focused writeup soon and also track down those blogs to talk about them more specifically, but I fell for a misinformation scheme today and want to talk about how and why. Here's an email I sent my little cousin about it.

This morning, I encountered a Tumblr post talking about the TikTok ban and the government's attempt to severely curtail digital privacy rights as part of it.

I had heard that the TikTok ban was currently up for debate in the Senate, after passing the House with strong bipartisan support. I was not surprised by the information in the screenshots; it matched with things I knew the government had tried to do often in the past, and often under similar circumstances. I looked up the bill linked to verify, and yeah, it was an active bill that had been introduced in the Senate. (I should have realized then that there was an issue with what I was reading, but in my defense it was about 6:00 AM, and I was just glancing over things in the parking lot before going in to work.)

Concerned for the digital privacy and security of my family, and especially the ones I can't just drive to, I drafted the following message to you:

"I haven't had time to read all the way through the RESTRICT act that the Senate proposed, but summaries I've seen indicate that as written it's a massive overreach. It's better known as the TikTok ban; the news has been focusing on that part as it passes through Congress so far.

I always sign my emails to you with my public key. Both of you should look up how to use PGP to send me encrypted emails with that. It may become even more important soon to normalize secure encryption in Internet communications, and there may also be things that we wish to discuss that state or federal laws may frown on in the future.

I planned to introduce topics related to computer and information security more gradually, but making sure that talking about those is possible at all is an important part of that.

Congress.gov page on the bill

Tweet thread"

(As an aside, I do still think that normalizing encryption is a very worthwhile thing to do; it makes the web a safer place for activists and informants needing a way to communicate without surveillance, without being singled out as enemies of the surveillance state.)

I then checked through the notes of the Tumblr post to see if there was more context I wanted to share, and noticed people who called out a detail that I missed. That post was first posted in March of 2023, a little over a year ago. It refers to an entirely different bill than the TikTok ban which is currently going through the Senate, one which activists successfully stalled (and likely killed) last year. This year's bill is much more targeted (though, as implemented, I still have issues with it); its text can be found here.

This is a classic example of how misinformation spreads. I did not have bad intent when I went to share that commentary on last year's bill with you, and I did not find it from someone with bad intent (in fact, she subsequently shared a commentary I posted on the actual bill, in reply to her original incorrect post.) From what I can tell, on March 14, a number of mostly inactive politically-focused blogs all shared that post directly from the original poster (not from someone who had it in their feed, like a normal Tumblr interaction). Each of these was tagged with fairly popular political tags. None of these blogs has posted since, keeping it at the top of their page to get more eyes on it.

Misinformation is spread deliberately, and it takes caution and checking of your biases to combat it. I almost fell for this one because I expected it to be true. I should have checked on it before sharing anything at all. Looking at it now, I ask: who benefits from this?

Most directly, proponents of the current TikTok ban benefit from activist efforts being directed towards a functionally dead bill. This, apparently, includes the strong majority of the House, on both sides of the aisle; it may be assumed that it also includes the government's surveillance agencies (as it is easier to compel data from American companies than from foreign ones, particularly Chinese ones). It could also include other social media sites, especially those like YouTube and Instagram that compete directly with TikTok in the realm of algorithmically driven short videos.

More abstractly, though, this misinformation benefits the status quo, and conservatism as a whole. By causing people who are invested in the TikTok ban (mostly left-leaning people) to engage with more stringent and concerning bills, stress is increased on activists and burnout becomes more likely. Targeting the mental health of left-leaning activists is a tactic we've seen multiple times recently in misinformation campaigns; another example is the "the Guardian is doing a story on DIY HRT" hoax that recently circulated among my trans friends. This type of stressful lie misinformation serves the dual purpose of causing activists to burn out and decreasing trust among communities that share it.

This is a new specific strategy to me, but the solution is the same as ever. Check your sources when you speak publicly, check how your biases affect what ideas seem "clearly correct", and aim for your statements to maximize quality, rather than quantity. That's a discipline I still need to refine, but it's not hard. Just requires a bit of diligence.

[jazzhandsmcleg]

how to deal with door-to-door canvassers during political campaign season (and any other time of year)

hello, fellow USAmericans. as you may know (mild sarcasm), the presidential election is now slightly over one month away. political canvassers of all stripes began ramping up their campaigns last month, and this month things will get even more hectic.

I worked as a door-to-door canvasser for a political nonprofit for a few weeks last month! while that certainly doesn't make me an expert, I haven't seen anyone more knowledgeable about how canvassing works make a post like this, so...I'm here to do what I can.

bear in mind that this is mostly geared toward nonprofit and political door-to-door canvassing in the USA, but some of it applies to general canvassers and probably to some other countries too.

before we get into it: for those who just want to know the fastest way to get rid of a canvasser at your door without going into a readmore: it's either a) don't answer your door (even if we can see you through your window! you are under no obligation) or b) say "no thank you" and then close your door. we don't consider it rude and will in fact thank you for saving us both time and energy. that being said, please be polite!

and now, the full guide, beginning with:

the walkup.

first of all, be aware that canvassing can happen across a wide range of days and times. where I live, canvassing is allowed until 9pm if you can believe that. we only went til 8pm, but that's still very late in this part of the country. usually we were a M-F enterprise, but weekends are now on the table as the election nears, and of course religious canvassers and business canvassers will have their own models for when they come to your place.

canvassers will assess your house for loose dogs in the yard, "no trespassing" signs, "no soliciting" signs, locked gates, and the like.

generally canvassers will open simple latches. canvassers generally-to-always will NOT remove locks even if they are not fastened.

non-profit, political, and religious canvassers are allowed to ignore "no soliciting" signs because they are not asking for your money (assuming the political canvassers aren't fundraising, anyhow); people who want you to pay them to trim your trees or mow your lawn or whatever are not allowed to ignore these.

"no trespassing" signs are a little tougher. I made another post about it here.

that post also covers more ornate signs that say things like "no charities, no religion, no sales, no nothing. go away, my dog hates you and so do I", though those are a bit more of a grey area. suffice to say the more of them there are, the less likely we are to knock on your door.

however, the bottom line is that all of this varies slightly by jurisdiction so be sure to check your local bylaws. canvassers must go by the letter of the law so make sure that what you're putting on your front door will get you the intended effect. yes, this sometimes means ignoring your two dozen "no soliciting" signs.

the knock/the ring.

most canvassers only try a door twice. that can be one doorbell ring and one knock, two knocks, whatever. some try it three times. no one I worked with wanted to waste their time any more than that. we have quotas to hit and if you're not answering, you're not answering.

that being said, sometimes the same canvasser or a different canvasser from the same organization will come back around a few hours or even days later. if we come back on the same day, it's probably because our numbers are low or we finished early and we want to keep trying. if we come back on a different day, it might be a follow-up to the original visit or it might be a completely new topic they want to talk to you about. we always appreciate it a lot when people are willing to entertain repeat visits.

remember that you are under no obligation to answer the door. in fact, if you're just going to be nasty to us because we ignored your "no soliciting" sign, we prefer that you don't open the door. it saves all of us time and energy.

this includes if we made eye contact through the window, if you were actually in your garage or yard or car and you saw us as we walked up, anything like that. some canvassers are going to be more proactive than others in trying to engage with you in these cases. walk deeper into the house; close the garage door; pretend you don't see or hear us; whatever. canvassers don't care and won't hold it against you even if they are one of the more proactive types!

the contact: part 1 (intro).

often canvassers have a little mini speech they have to get through to introduce themselves and what they're doing on your doorstep before they'll actually get around to asking you their questions/offering to sell you whatever/handing you a pamphlet.

we try to keep this as short as possible because we know no one wants to be stuck on a doorstep forever, feel free to ask us to get to the chase if you're busy or what have you. we will usually oblige.

similarly, we try to keep it short because we know that other people from other organizations might have been here recently to ask you the exact same things and you're tired of it. if this is the case, we appreciate your patience and willingness to engage with us even if you've already done this rigmarole three times this week.

don't be surprised if people know your name and some of your information. for example, because they were a nonprofit, the canvassing company I worked for had access to the voter rolls. also don't be surprised if they have the information for the previous resident, especially if you live in an apartment. our information was often out of date by a couple of years.

the contact: part 2 (the sell).

if you don't want to answer the questionnaire, talk religion, or have your gutters cleaned, a polite "no thank you" and the immediate closing of your door will get rid of all but the sleaziest of canvassers.

you don't owe us anything more than that, and we will thank you for not wasting our time!

when I was canvassing, I was instructed to keep talking until I hear three hard "no"s or until I hear the click of a latch, so closing the door on us really is the fastest and easiest way to get rid of us. otherwise we will take your objections seriously (i.e. we will assume you are not lying to us to try and get away) and do our best to overcome them, thus wasting your time and ours.

whether or not you want to engage with the canvasser and whatever they're talking about, please bear in mind that a lot of us have quotas to hit if we want to keep our jobs. your taking two minutes out of your day to answer three questions or hear our our sales pitch or whatever will help us with that, and we appreciate it even if you're brusque or in a hurry or we don't personally agree with your opinions. we're really not there to judge you or throw your day out of whack. we're just there to do our jobs and get paid.

if you really want to go above and beyond for the canvasser and their job, we may have bonuses attached to optional-but-preferred things like signing up a newsletter or what have you. giving out your email address, even if it's a fake one or you unsubscribe immediately upon receiving your first letter, can be very helpful.

granted, there's less at stake for volunteer (some political and most religious) canvassers, but there's not always an easy way to tell those apart. do what you gotta do, really, but be aware that it may matter quite a bit to us.

and that's it! I understand that there can be a lot of distrust for door-to-door salespeople and canvassers, and I also definitely understand why, but it really doesn't have to be painful. again, even if you absolutely hate whatever it is they're trying to get you to do, a simple "no thank you" and closing your door will solve the problem 95% of the time. (2.5% of the rest of the time it may be a predatory canvasser who will continue to bother you, and 2.5% of the time it's a targeted campaign and the canvasser has to confirm your identity before they'll take no as an answer, so they'll be back to try again later.)

other do's and don't's:

do consider offering canvassers something to drink or a snack if you have any to spare, or the use of your bathroom if you really hit it off with someone. canvassing is often hot and sweaty/cold and damp work with unpleasant hours, and individual canvassers aren't always well looked-after (especially if they're volunteers)!

similarly, do consider offering to let a canvasser wait out a storm on your porch.

do remember that canvassers are people just like you, and that you live in a society that requires you to put up with behavior from other people that you don't like from time to time.

if you have a barking dog, do consider stepping outside of your house to speak with us. it'll be faster and easier.

don't ask us to touch or interact with your mailbox for any reason. it's a federal offense.

don't be an ass!

Thanks for reading. :)

[trans-luis-serra-navarro]

ok, so!! there's also another little thing about luis and the merchant that i haven't seen anyone discuss. in luis' house in the village, you can see a few packages of food (like in the first picture in your post, near the doll; it looks like a tomato soup or something??). and in the merchant's spot near the lake you can see a box of similar packages (not the same though, as far as i remember, but still they're similar, in a sense that it's still some modern food and it looks out of place in this village. it's something we only see in luis's house) sorry i don't have any pictures tho :((

so what im trying to say is that i just love that through these tiny little details we actually get a glimpse of luis's everyday life in valdelobos. i mean, just imagine him taking a boat to go on a little grocery trip to the merchant 😭😭 and it also kind of implies that luis actually knew the merchant and interacted with him somewhat regularly. like, it's not even that big of a detail, but i just love thinking about it 😭

(also don't stress yourself over answering these asks quickly!! there's no rush. i hope you're doing well!!)

Quick TW for discussions of food, starvation and animal death under cut!

@silverhexrt Thank you SO much for being so patient with me for this!!!!!!!! BUT YES YES YES OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO ABSOLUTELY RIGHT I’ve seen people talk about the canisters of food lying around his old childhood home but not NEARLY enough about the fact that those same packets of food are found elsewhere in the game too!!!!! Unfortunately I don’t have a photo on-hand of the exact model you’re talking about near the Merchant, but I do have a photo of one of the packets of tomato soup you were talking about;

Alongside the tomato soup there’s also various spices and I THIIIIIIINK what’s supposed to be a packet of noodles????

Needless to say Luis most likely did NOT have a very good diet during the last of his time spent in Valdelobos HFNUEENEUNDIDMD

And again I don’t have photos of the exact model you’re talking about but!!! YEAH!!!!!!!! You’re absolutely right!!!!!!!!!!!! Luis might’ve hung around the Merchant or even waited by his little corner stand for him to come back with decent food or cigarettes!!!! I doubt Luis would’ve been able to go along with him wherever he went cuz A) I think he would’ve escaped Valdelobos MUCH sooner if that were the case HCNWHENEUSN and B) The Merchant is kind of an enigma. Where’s he getting his stock from?????? Who knows!!!!!!!!!! He’s a mystery man we’ll never get answers for!!!!!!!!

It also makes me wonder WHY he gravitated towards those foods instead of just killing the livestock that hung around the village or eating the fish you can find hanging up on the side of the house. Did he feel bad??? Did he just not know how to effectively kill livestock????? Was he trying to preserve it???????? Or did he have a childhood preference?????? Did his Grandfather or whoever looked after him make him those foods??????? Did HE as a child wander into nearby towns to get those foods??????????????? How did his supply of food get so low????? Was Los Illuminados feeding him and the other scientists he worked with or were they starving them to death and Luis was the only one with a source of food???????????

I also wanna mention a theory a friend of mine @hamartia-grander put together- I’ll link the original post if I can find it but the tl;dr of their idea was ‘Hey! Y’know those yellow bits of paint that are splattered on crates n stuff that indicate there’s items inside in both the main game and Seperate Ways?? What if that was Luis who made them and put the items in to help himself escape later down the line?????’ And I think that paired with your theory that Luis hung around the Merchant for a while makes for a REALLY interesting narrative!!!!!!!

And also I am FAR from the first person to point this out but again. Luis clearly does NOT have a good diet while in Valdelobos. It makes me wonder if that added to the urgency of him trying to get out (I mean obviously but still HD EHENEISN HOW hungry was this guy) and if he DID survive, how would he react to returning to an environment where food is easily accessible???? How would that trauma and instinct to hoard come into play??????? Would he gain any weight as a sign of healing???????? It’s a VERY interesting subject to delve into but obviously one you’ve gotta handle with care

TL;DR is that I think people gloss over WAY too much the just. Straight-up HORROR of Luis’ situation. Like take all the supernatural elements away- this is a man trying his best to not starve to death and succumb to the same infection everyone around him has. He’s got no other scientists (they’re all dead) no other family (MEGA dead) and to me it makes the fact that his first and most important goal is helping the others instead of helping HIMSELF first all the more just. Devastating BDNEJEMSJXJ

Anyways this went SO OFF THE POINT YOU WERE MAKIMG DHENEYENDIDK but OUGH the idea of Luis and the Merchant just hanging out together trying to survive The Horrors best they can is!! SUCH a heart wrenching idea!!!!!! Thank you SO SO SO much for this ask I went INSANE over it clearly HDBEHENEJXNS

[rwritingblog]

The Amina Universe Overview (Part 1)

Hello Rebel here,

So I haven't been active much lately but I'm back now! This time I wanted to talk about an original idea that was really important to me. And that is the Anima Universe.

The Anima Universe is a project I have been working on for a very long time, since I first started writing in fact, and is a multiple series of novels that take place in the same universe. Kind of like the MCU which is why I jokingly call it my BCU (Book Cinematic Universe).

There are eight stories within the project, each with its own themes, characters, and settings. There are many things that connect them timeline-wise and each one affects the other but they still stand on their own. The stories are spilt across two general settings; Earth and a magical planet called Majjia. Plus one that takes place in the wider universe and has a sci-fi feel to it.

Below We'll go over one of the stories and it's characters.

The Magical Core

The Magical Core is the very first original story I ever created. I remember creating the concept for the main Character Celestia on my great-grandmother's porch years ago. I still have the picture I drew of her.

The story of the Magical Core involves a group of four girls; Celestia Nightmare, Zerenity Silver-Moon, and Roxxanne November as they travel through the world of Majjia in search of a woman who is extremely important to them, Saturn Stars. The book is planned to have 14 chapters and takes place over a few weeks. I have an outline for the entire book and have so, so many versions of almost each chapter. It just needs refinement before I feel comfortable publishing it. (BTW The book also changes POVs between certain characters)

Let's go over the protag of the story! (I'll do other characters at a later date I was going to do them all here but the post was getting long)

Celestia Nightmare

Celestia Nightmare is the protagonist of The Magical Core and is the character whose POV we see the most. She's the only daughter of Sally and Jack Nightmare, prominent figures on the planet of Majjia. Celestia comes from a very wealthy well-known noble family known as House Nightmare. Members of House Nightmare have been in so many history books. Like so many guys.

Celestia is an elf and one of the features of that species is the fact that their last names and magic are interconnected. If you have a last name like Earth you have an easier time using Earth magic. Celestia's last name is Nightmare which means she has the ability of fear magic. Fear Magic is a subtype of Empathy Magic, a type of magic that allows people to feel other people's emotions with the downside that they can never turn it off. Once they turn it on it can never be turned off.

Those who have fear magic can see a person's greatest fear and have severe nightmares that feel very, very, real. Most of the time those nightmares aren’t even theirs but someone else's.

Celestia's parents died tragically when she was nine. They were murdered by a group called the Knights of Blood, agents of the evil High Queen Blood Spill, during an event known as the Rosewood Massarce. (The entire town of Rosewood, where Celestia's family lived at the time, was burned to the ground, hence the name.) After her parents' death, Celestia was taken in by a family friend, Saturn Stars.

Celestia has long sunset-colored hair like this. The reason she has this hair color was because younger me poeticly described red hair as sunset and then I really thought about it and decided this look was cooler.

Celestia has complete heterochromia, her left eye is a gentle forest green while the right one is a sharp electric blue, both glow eerily in the dark. I have a narrative reason for this but the irl reason is that I couldn't decide whether or not to give her blue or green eyes and so I gave her both.

Celestia's style of clothing is very casual which matches her personality. She's seen more in ripper jeans or pants with at least a dozen pockets than a skirt. Her outfits are very celestial-themed and she's never seen without her vambraces—silver with a wolf engraving that once belonged to her father and gold with a phoenix engraving from her mother.

Celestia wields a jian sword known as Præstans Tantibus which once belonged to her mother. The sword features a midnight purple and black handle, with the Nightmare family crest delicately engraved into the pommel. The blade itself is adorned with the phrase "Lux lunae me ducet ubi sol non apparet." which translates to "The light of the moon will guide me when there is no sun in sight." and embedded symbols related to the sun god Rad.

Here's that symbol btw (Created by yours truly)

Celestia is such an interesting character and like I mentioned earlier was created on my Great-Grandmother's porch. Her name originates from Princess Celestia and Nightmare Moon from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. This origin is the reason she's so sun and moon-coded. I call her an eclipse and based her character arc on the day and night cycle.

When she was a kid she was daylight, bright and cheerful but when her parents died it turned her into sunset. The girl she was died with them and thus the sun set on Celestia of the past and created Celestia of the present making her twilight current. The sun has set but the moon has yet to rise, she's an empty sky slowly getting darker and darker.

Celestia is intelligent but also reckless and impulsive. She can be short-tempered, lashing out when things get too overwhelming. She's chaotic and things that make sense to her don't always make sense to other people. She's energetic, loud, and independent with an extremely active imagination. Celestia is loyal, adaptable, bold, and passionate.

She leads with her heart and is kind, empathic, and idealistic. Celestia is an extremely moral person and believes in doing the right thing no matter what. She's a bit of a mess because of the Rosewood Massacre PTSD and survivor's guilt are things she has. Celestia often feels like a ghost possessing her own body and while she can literally feel other people's emotions is detached from her own. She feels so much it's hard to determine what her and what's someone else. Celestia struggles to identify her own desires, wants, and goals, making her somewhat aimless.

The main themes of the book are life, death, and rebirth but not in the literal sense. A quote that has always stuck with me is this one.

"a dancer dies twice — once when they stop dancing, and this first death is the more painful.”

Which begs the question. Can you be reborn after an event that killed you? If there are two types of deaths there must also be two types of life. A literal one and a metaphorical one. This is why rebirth is a common theme. Each character has lost something important to them and must find a way to be without it and metaphorically be reborn.

Celestia, and each of the other main characters, represent rebirth within the story and each of them has death and life characters that represent a path they could have or could go down. The life character is who they could have or would have been had they not gone through their metaphorical death. Life characters are an ideal or a standard they can no longer live up to. While death characters are what would happen if they stay dead. What would happen if they let the pain control them. Rebirth is therefore them taking control of their lives as it is now and choosing to be better than both the life and death characters. Blazing a new path forward to create something that has never been seen before.

Celestia's life character is her mother, Sally Nightmare. Sally wasn't a cheerful person like you would expect from a character who represents life and has a sun motif. She was bright and mesmerizing. A fiery spirit who was charismatic, kind, wise, and hopeful. The ideal warrior and person in Celestia's mind who died protecting those she cared for. Sally is everything Celestia wanted to be and maybe would been if the Rosewood Massacre hadn't happened.

Celestia's death character is the villain of the series High Queen Blood Spill, ruler of the 13 United Kingdoms of Majjia. People talk about the High Queen in hush whispers and dare not speak her name using only epithets and titles like she's some sort of death god. Which is a way she is. The High Queen is strife and discord. Pain and torture. She's introduced sitting on a throne made of bone in a throne room covered in blood with people chained to the wall in various states of harm. Some are nothing more than decomposing corpses and others might as well be as they wait for death to claim them.

The High Queen is a bitter woman lashing out at the world for what it has done to her. She is who Celestia could become if she lets the grief of losing her parents consume her.

The life character is dead and the death character is alive but both haunt the narrative.

(For those who were curious here is the drawing I made of Celestia when I first created her like a decade ago)

[hope-of-virgo]

2024

happy new year!

you can find the post i'll be referencing continually here: https://www.tumblr.com/hope-of-virgo/706484244807024640/im-currently-bedridden-as-a-result-of-hormonal?source=share

so it's a little under a year since I wrote the original, and things have surely made a change.

my (now) wife and i got married less than a month ago, in the eyes of the australian government i'm a girl, and i seem to have stumbled backwards into a management(ish) role at work.

so... about those resolutions.

stop: doomscrolling i had an amount of success on this, partially due to twitter shitting its pants and reddit having the Great Blackout and subsequent degradation of content. a lot of algorithmically sorted internet shit has done this recently, and a lot of it comes down to "we are approaching a fiscal cliff". what i have picked up from this though is that i'm enjoying learning new skills, such as fermenting and learning sql. i don't carry around a handbag project as much anymore due to some joint issues i've been having making me switch to a backpack, and doing an rsi at work.

stop: masking my autism this has definitely gotten better with my hrt progressing; i'm less afraid to be my authentic self. the hard part has been the pronoun switch and managing the mood problems that happen as a result. for those not in the know, i switched from he/they to she/they after someone at the pole studio called me "she" and i was like "huh...didn't hate that". i also generally held the view that if people weren't calling me that without being told, it would feel inauthentic to ask them.

stop: making excuses not to go to the pole studio this hasn't stopped, but it's as much to do with other factors as it is me butting heads with a number of studio members. actually getting there is difficult without driving, and due to my town growing really fast as a result of melbourne being really fucking expensive to live in, there's been a large cop presence flood in too. i'm a medicinal cannabis user for chronic pain, any amount of thc in my system meets the evidentiary burden for drug driving, and good luck getting a social work job with that on my record. i'm moving to an electric scooter this year, which should solve a lot of these issues.

keep: cooking my own meals now that my wife and i are living together, i'd already be cooking for her, so it's an easy routine to keep food in the house for the both of us. it's also getting easier to find reasons to cook my own meals since i now no longer live within walking distance of 3 different pizza shops, the cost of food has basically doubled in the last year, and my wife is getting into the "growing your own food" side of urban homesteading, which gives me lots of options to cook with seasonal produce.

keep: doing gender affirmation my op shopping buddy bounced in and out of rehab a lot this year and we actually haven't seen each other at all as a result. she reached out to me proactively at christmas as well, which is a first, so i have high hopes for that. my hair's getting longer and changing texture, and i'm fitting the form of "women's clothing" a lot better now. i'm still shit at makeup but i always feel better about myself when i do it so while fucking it up feels bad (god knows when i turned up to work having fucked up my eye shadow in like september i looked like i'd been kicked in the face), getting it right feels amazing.

keep: watching new shows and listening to new music i actually went pretty well at this i think. i had the aim of getting to 2000 songs in my spotify library, which is a 25% increase, and i think i ended the calendar year with 1990. i went to a lot more live music this year, i saw betty who, cry club, eilish gilligan, florence and the machine, aleksiah, bella amor, teenage joans, merci mercy, and waterparks. i also went to see lights' headline show in melbourne, which is a top 5 experiences of my life moment. she's been my most listened to artist for the last 10 years. when she was performing "when the summer dies" she got down into the crowd, and there was this moment where she looked at me, then ran her hand through my hair. this sounds like fanfic but i swear on my life that it happened.

start: eating more vegetables i'm doing better at this; i'm a sensory seeker when it comes to food, and vegetables are pretty boring. i also don't really like sweet food (and neither do my teeth, but that's a different story), so getting my fruit intake can be hard. i've solved the problem to an extent with pickles and ferments, and mixing fruit into yogurt as well.

start: actively reducing household waste my state has introduced bottle and can deposit refunds. we don't buy a lot of bottled and canned drinks, but it's nice to have the added incentive. we bought a compost bin with our wedding money, and i'm loving being able to find something to do with the veggie scraps. i'm looking into vertical farming gourmet mushrooms this year. we've moved to household cleaners where you basically get a "forever bottle" and fill them with refills, which you then send the bag back and they reuse it. the plastics they use as part of this scheme are also recycled from reclaimed ocean plastics, which is kind of cool. my bestie made me some beeswax wraps, and i think i've used single-use plastic wrap like 3 times this year maybe. that's not even counting the plastic savings from not buying bread from the shops anymore.

start: more longform journaling got banned from instagram for it, but that's probably not a net negative. doing longform writing when you're already doing a lot for uni can be a challenge, but i've done a bit. i've also joined the fediverse as part of the reddit exodus, and that's been a bit of fun.

start: diversifying my income sources i'm now an accredited life model, though i've actually been too busy to utilise it. i've basically retired from *~spicy accounting~* as well, because i'm having a bunch of problems even having sex in my private life, let alone doing it at work. the economic issues have also cut out a lot of my clientele, so i'm taking it as a sign from the universe that it's time to go do something else. i also decided to quit my job, which people like @tamaaya68000 and @gotouhitori have been trying to convince me to do since that one awesome time in 2021 where i tried to jump in front of a train because it seemed like a better option than going to work the following monday. fortunately there are positions open in other parts of the hospital that i'm applying for later today, and when i get my diploma i'll likely apply at child protection, who are so desperate for workers that they're promising guaranteed promotion to cpp4 within 2 years and hiring people on working holiday visas from other countries to fill the skilled workers gap.

start: interior decorating currently writing this from in the middle of a bunch of still-packed moving boxes from when i moved in like 3 months ago. it's a work in progress. i'm going to ask a friend of mine to paint me some things as some commissioned art, but beyond that i'm actually not sure what i want to do with the space.

2024's resolutions will probably come next week, but overall i'm pretty happy with the year 2023.

[nightimedreamersworld]

Ohhhh cool cool we're doing a rec train! Also, thank you for the shout out ❤️

So these are only some of my faves, and mostly ones I haven't seen thrown around yet. Behold:

Twelve Days of Christmas (rated M) by spockzilla has held strong as one of my all time faves for yyyyyyyears. It's got lots of great action, great pining, with a dash of sexiness thrown in for good measure 😏

The lover walks away in the night (T) has stayed with me for years as well. To this day some of the loveliest writing I've ever read - it's poetic and romantic and it just makes your insides all gooey. Heart-achingly beautiful.

The Space in Between (M) by @whatevertheweather has also become one of my all time faves. It’s a beautiful study on grief. The author has such a way of mingling fluffy and funny moments with heart-wrenching ones. You'll laugh, you'll cry a lot, and you won't be able to think of anything else for dayyyys.

A Dangerous Affinity (T) by @larkral is also one of my faves. I recommend it for when you want to read a whole new book that still has your favorite characters in it - the world building is exquisite, the original characters are lovely, and of course, the Snowbaz of it all is magnificent. Truly one of the best slow-burns out there.

Speaking of slow burn, definitely check out On thin ice (M) by chiara_scuro. It's the figure skating AU you never knew you needed, with lots of fluff, banter, and wholesome moments (as well as "heart in your throat" moments.) You'll cheer, you'll be on the edge of your seat. It's lovely and also one of my faves. (Also, don't worry about the incomplete status; imo it leaves off at a good point, and the progression of Simon and Baz's relationship is so so satisfying in and of itself!)

Stay up with me (E) by SHARKMARTINI makes me bawl my eyes out like a baby every. Single. Time. It's got THE ANGST. but it's also so so worth it. Makes me heart ache to even think of it.

The tears of Mummers House (T) by @chen-chen-chen-again-chen was an experience to read. Honestly there's nothing like it; the mystery, the sense of unease all throughout. I know the temptation to read it all at once is big, but for those who like a good edging, I recommend reading one of chapter a day in the fashion the fic was first published. Trust me, it really amps up the tension!

Okay, this is my contribution. I'm slow on reading these days, so sure there are lots of amazing works I'm missing, so I'll dig into the other rec lists on this post as well!

Alright everyone, give em to me. Gimmie your favorite Snowbaz fics. Give them all to me- I am so greedy. And so, so hungry. I want to devour these boys whole.

[vraska-theunseen]

tagged by @gaygollum. thank you i've never been tagged in one of these before and it seems neat :)

3 ships: i would struggle to name any because i don't really ingest a lot of media in which romantic relationships are included or the central focus (which you'll see in the later sections of this post) and when they are i don't often like. think about it in terms of "shipping"

last song: well i went to spotify and the song i was in the middle of playing was ״Ijime, Dame, Zettai״ by Babymetal. so that one

last movie: god who knows. i watched half of a mystery movie with my dad last weekend and i don't think i've seen anything since. i'm not going to look it up but it was called like "murder on the phone" or something and i didn't even finish it because i thought it was boring

currently watching: started the sandman last weekend and have not picked it up since watching half of it in one day. dimension 20's neverafter if that counts which it should because those episodes are so damn long. i'm watching abbott elementary as it airs does that count as currently watching

currently reading: cod by mark kurlansky (though it's an overdue library book that i haven't picked up in weeks), we do this til we free us by mariame kaba, batman: urban legends vol 1 by chip zdarsky et al (so many people work on comics and he's the first name on the cover), the haunting of hill house by shirley jackson, and house of leaves if you count books that i haven't read in over a year but keep telling myself i'm going to come back to

currently craving: well i didn't have anything in my mind but now that it's brought up then caprese salad always. one time at a restaurant i ordered the caprese [something] don't remember exactly what it was called but it was pieces of flatbread with tomato and mozzarella and basil and prosciutto and olive oil and balsamic vinegar and it was delicious. so that

tagging @emrylurkeroftheloch, @tmoblrina, and @liichkiing who can make posts w these prompts if they like bc the original post that tagged me also tagged three people. and you are the first three mutuals i thought of

[ghoste-catte]

I was curious what advice would you give to someone new to writing fics? I've been wanting to get back into it but haven't seriously written something since high school. I hope this isn't an annoying question or anything!

Not an annoying question at all! I'm just a little worried that I won't have terribly good or useful advice. To be honest, I also sort of stopped writing in earnest right as I finished high school, and didn't pick it back up until my late 20s. It's certainly an adjustment! But I think the few things that really helped me get back into writing fic as a hobby and something I spend quite a bit of time on would be:

Write for yourself first, then find your other motivations. My original inspiration in getting back into fic writing was that there just were not that many fics I liked for my favorite pairing, and I wanted more of them, and I especially wanted more with the tropes and characterizations I wanted to see. I think at the very core of anything you need that internal spark that drives you. At the same time, for me at least, if I just relied on my own drive, I would not get much done; I need some external guardrails. So having people send prompts, or writing for particular events, or writing stuff for friends really helps me to get my ass in gear and finish stuff. That may not be the perfect motivator for you, and that's fine! You just gotta figure out what is.

Be open to inspiration. Anything and everything can be spun out into a story with the right tweaking. Obviously stuff like music is a classic inspiration source, but I've also pulled ideas from poetry, from memes, from Reddit threads, from YouTube videos, from rambling conversations on Discord and from real life to make fics out of. So many times, someone will post a silly Twitter screencap, and I'll think, There's a fic in this. And a lot of the time, there is! Research is a wonderful thing, but so is serendipity. If you're out there actively looking for ideas, eventually one that you like will stumble past you.

Find your community. I can genuinely say I never would have finished more than one fic if I didn't have fandom friends to talk to about even stupid headcanons, to bounce ideas off of, and to encourage me (and to encourage them in turn!). Discord has been a godsend, and some of my closest online friends are people I met in the GaaLee discord server. As I've gotten more comfortable as a writer, I've also joined general writing servers and Reddit communities and have found them immensely helpful on both a motivational level (bingos, sprints, owe-me challenges) and on a craft level (plot workshopping and writing ethics and live grammar help). It's a lot easier to think about fic ideas and hash through problem moments when I have a constant stream of fandom-related chatter coming from the little people who live in my phone! Ao3 is an amazing website, and it's great as, well, an archive, but it isn't social media by design. If you want conversation and human connection and cheerleading, you've gotta forge out and find it.

Make it a habit ... If you want to produce anything longer than a couple hundred words, you really have to set aside time for it. And writing is just like knitting or dirt biking or painting little model figurines: the more you do it, the more easily it comes. When I was first getting back into the proper swing of things, I committed myself to 30 minutes of writing per week. Just 30 minutes. I didn't even hit that goal every week, but there were tons of weeks I got on a roll and went over that amount, and by the end of the year I'd written over 200,000 words. I used to spend an hour laboriously tip-tapping out 200 words, but now I can easily blow through 1k in a 50 minute sprint. It's all about training that muscle.

... But don't make it a chore. With fanfic, you aren't doing this as a job, and you aren't ultimately doing it for anyone other than you. That means you can take breaks when you need them, you can set deadlines and then fail to meet them, you can write stuff and then decide to never post it. When you start getting burnt out, when the practice loses the joy and energy, stop. There's no 'hustle' here. In our capitalist society we're so trained to push past our limits and keep going even when it hurts us, but the hobby you do for connection and relaxation and whatever else shouldn't be like that.

Ignore metrics. Sometimes stuff isn't gonna get hits, or kudos, or comments. There are some basic 'rules' as to the stuff that does and doesn't get traction, but every time you post something it's a roll of the dice. If you're focused on watching that kudos counter tick up, you will get bummed out fast. And any writer will tell you that the stuff you think is your best work will never be the stuff that gets the most accolades. So you have to find something else to give you a sense of success. For me, it's watching my wordcount go up in my stats and those occasional comments where someone has a lot to say and that one person who always leaves me a <3 emoji (and, shout out to @egregiousderp, having someone to have long one-on-one conversations with about the stuff that never made it to page).

Don't strive for perfection. It's really easy to want your first ever fic to be a complete showstopper, the best fic fandom has ever seen, hitting all the tropes and the ideas and the characterization that you just know fandom is missing and would be everyone's top favorite if only it was written. This is a trap. No one fic can be all things. Most people who want to write an epic as their very first venture will not see the end of that epic, because they haven't put in the practice hours to make something on that scale work. That's not to say you can't start out with a big, sprawling multichap, just don't expect it to be the greatest thing since sliced bread if you're just starting out, and be okay with abandoning it for greener pastures if you get to that point. Think of the first time someone makes a vase out of clay or bakes a loaf of bread. That's never their best vase or their best bread. If they keep up with it, they'll make more and better vases and loaves. Likewise, your first fic is probably not gonna be your best fic. See it for what it is: your launchpad.

You can't edit an empty page, but you can over-edit a full one. This kind of spins off of #7, but if the words aren't there, you can't fix them. Daydreams and headcanons are fantastic (and god, how many times have I wished for a speech-to-text engine that projected my falling asleep thoughts onto a Google doc for later perusal), but they aren't fic. If you want to write fic, you've gotta get comfortable with the idea of sloppy outlines and rough first drafts. You can't build a house without a frame and you can't build a man without a skeleton (I mean, you can, I guess, but he'd be one floppy man). The nice thing about fic is that it doesn't matter if that frame is structurally unsound or the skeleton has 18 too many bones, you can clean that up in the editing process. But you can't start hanging curtains and arranging furniture in something that doesn't even have walls. That's the process. But! Also know when to set down the editor's pen and say, "Okay, this is good enough for government work", and call it done. ("Done" doesn't have to mean "posted", but it does mean, "I'm done picking at this for now, and I'm gonna go write some more stuff".) Over-editing can make stuff seem laborious and forced, and it prevents you from actually improving. To continue belaboring the house metaphor, you can spend your whole life rearranging furniture in just one room, but the end result of that is a pretty narrow existence and a room with a lot of footprints and tracks in the carpet.

Write shit down. When you have ideas, jot them down--in a notebook, in a Google Doc, in the Notes app of your phone, in pen on the back of your hand. You think you will remember that brilliant line of dialogue or sparkling snippet of narration or genius plot that came to you in a dream, but you Will Not. Write it down. Write it down. Write it down! There have been so many times when a fic was completely saved by past!me having written down my shower thoughts about what happens next in the fic, that present!me had completely forgotten about and was floundering over.

Have fun with it! Try different stuff. Try stupid stuff. Try experimental stuff. Do stuff you've never done before that you aren't sure will work. It's important to get comfortable with your niche (for example, I know I'm never going to be the sort of person who writes intricate plots of intrigue or super long 100k epics or detailed battles), but you can't find that niche unless you explore lots of different niches! Figure out what you love and what you absolutely hate, and then keep doing the stuff you love.

Okay, so that was actually TEN things, but ... I hope you still found this helpful. Feel free to send another ask if any of this was confusing or unclear. Good luck with your fic writing and, if you want, send me a link to what you've written once you've written it! I'd love to read it.

[dalishious]

I'm still mad at Anora for turning us over to that soldier woman when we just saved her life at great personal risk like she's the only person in the room who matters just bc she's queen. You seem to like her but she threw us under the bus like we were trash when we were risking everything to help her so can you explain this in a way that makes sense if you have the spoons? If not that's fine I'm just incredibly confused bc you criticize like every other char but this one you never seem to? And I wondered why. It's okay if you ignore me or even delete this ask or just reblog an old post that explains it that I haven't seen. I'm not trying to be pushy I hope you have a nice day

Well first off let me correct you that I can be plenty critical of Anora's character in the aspects that I actually deem worthy of criticism--namely speaking of the fact that at the end of the day, she is still a queen in charge of a nation full of inequalities, albeit she does make some few changes. It's just that the fandom would rather call her a bitch over and over again just because she's a smart woman who has her own goals and agency. It gets old. And I hate that because it's so transparent that if she were a man, she would receive massive adoration. I know this as fact because it's evident with even the smallest of rando male NPCs being beloved characters, and even rando characters who are utter assholes for that matter. (See: the love Cullen received in DA:O being so strong it literally carried him into other games, despite his original writer's original intentions.)

Anyway, to answer your question:

Anora explains that it's imperative she stay hidden, or she'll be killed.

Warden: Why are you dressed like that?

Anora: Because there are two sorts of people in this house: those loyal to Howe, and those loyal to me.

Anora: If Howe's people find me, I'll be killed. And my people will insist on escorting me back to the palace... where my father may also have me killed.

If the warden betrays Anora and tries to reveal her identity, then she covers herself. She also explains this if you confront her about it, after I'll remind you, she sends a rescue party.

Anora: After your rather alarming lack of subtlety, I feared the worst for you. I prayed for your safe return.

Warden: That's so sweet. It almost makes me want to kill you less.

Anora: Well, what did you expect me to do? You announced me to my father's most trusted lackey! Did the purpose of my disguise entirely escape you?

[OR]

Warden: What? You betrayed me!

Anora: Well, what did you expect me to do? You announced me to my father's most trusted lackey! Did the purpose of my disguise entirely escape you?

[OR]

Warden: Eamon, what is she doing here?

Eamon: Err... am I missing something?

Anora: You are not. It seems the entire purpose of my disguise completely escaped the Grey Warden. Thankfully no harm was done, in the end.

[mageofseven]

Thank you both for requesting! I was originally gonna split this up into two posts, one for a good ending and one for a bad ending, but I think I found a way to keep both within this post with how I decided to format it. However, while I was writing Satan's section, I hit the word limit for a post. I didn't even realize that was a thing 😳

Basically, that's why this ask is still gonna be separated into multiple parts, likely 3 but we'll see. I honestly didn't think I'd write this much, but this ask got me so inspired, it's crazy.

So everyone! This is gonna continue off from the pregnancy discovered in this post. If you haven't seen it yet, it's worth a read.

Below is Lucifer, Mammon, and Levi's sections.

Part 2 | Part 3

~

Lucifer:

The man thought he was prepared. He thought.

Lucifer expected all different kinds of physical ailments that he would have to help MC cope through; he didn't expect the ailments to be mental.

He noticed it start around her fourth month. Before that point, the demon was surprised at how calm things were. His Love went through the usual struggles of human pregnancy, like the morning sickness in the first trimester, but that was all. Nothing odd had happened and though he was grateful, Lucifer was also suspicious.

The start was subtle. His Love's spirits had been seeming down, despite keeping a cheerful outlook for all the weeks before this. She was happy for this child and it was infectious, easing the Avatar of Pride's worry about fatherhood and making him look forward to this child as well.

That was shattered when the low spirit had suddenly progressed into a heavy depression. MC couldn't even leave their bed most days and getting her to eat had become a challenge for the first brother.

He simply couldn't understand the sudden nose dive in mood and any questioning came up empty. MC didn't know why she felt what she felt and that scared her.

It was the end of that month when the fear really set in though.

Lucifer had a meeting with Diavolo at the castle. He had laid in bed and cuddled his girlfriend close beforehand, giving her a kiss and promising he'd be back in a couple hours.

He had only been gone for 10 minutes when he got a call from Mammon, who was freaking out. The older brother couldn't fully make out what the second brother was saying, but he heard his Love's name in jumble that was his brother's words so he hung up and rushed back home.

Discovered all six of his brothers in his room, trying to calm a panicked MC, who was screaming and crying on the floor.

The demon rushed to her side, trying to calm her down and figure out just what was happening. His Love clung to him and he could feel the her heart beating as if it meant to break free from her chest and the man felt powerless.

Luckily, it only took about a minute of being in his arms for the woman to stop screaming. She cried in his arms for a while and slowly, her heart beat settled.

Lucifer was so confused. What happened and why? The man shooed his brothers out of the room before carrying his Love back to the bed.

Discovers that after he left, an uneasiness set in that quickly turned into blind panic. The woman didn't even notice the brothers or hear any of their attempts to calm her.

To say that the demon was concerned would be an understatement. He had to convene with Diavolo at once for a new reason.

The man laid with his girlfriend till she fell asleep, exhausted from her previous panic.

Lucifer called his friend and apologized for his absence before explaining the situation. Lord Diavolo, now concerned as well, decided to come to House of Lamentation instead.

The two discussed the issue in his study. The lord listened to his friend's predicament before explaining that this was likely a side affect of MC's angel heritage.

Right now, their baby was trying to form its soul along with its body and the demon child needs dark energies to do so. The woman's body is trying to absorb this dark energy for the child, but her repressed angel spirit is trying to repel it all, causing her own body and soul to fight. Her brain is the battle ground.

The reason it triggered in his absence is likely a psychological thing. Lucifer himself, as all demons do, radiate the very dark spiritual energy his child needs so, despite her soul's rejection, her great trust in her boyfriend gives her feelings of safety and has her mind lend support to her body to absorb the energy the baby needs.

To sum it up, his presence is the only thing keeping his girlfriend and child alive right now.

At this news, the man changes up everything about his schedule to stay near MC. He does all his paperwork at the desk in his room instead of in his study, he stops attending RAD the few days a week he still was at that time, made his meetings with Diavolo limited to only the most important work issues and always take place within his study at House of Lamentation. Sometimes he did have to leave her side, like for said meeting or simply because he had to grab food or use the restroom.

During those times, he'd call one of his brothers in to watch her. The demon had discovered that though her trust in them was not as great as it was in him, that trust still provided somewhat of a psychological cushion for her.

However, though their presence prevented full blown panic, it wasn't enough stop her from crying incessantly.

Most of his brothers could not handle her tears so it was usually Beel or Satan that accompanied her during these times.

It was hard for all of the men to watch, Lucifer included. He couldn't help blaming himself, knowing his carelessness had gotten her into this situation. Still, he had to keep it together for her sake.

The months went by and her belly grew. Lucifer missed that excitement he felt in the beginning of all of it when MC glowed with positivity. Now, unlike the times he was smiling and rubbing her belly as the two cuddled and discussed baby names, the emotionally exhausted demon saw it nothing more than a visual timer, reminding him that this will all be over soon.

Good Ending:

After a long nine months of his Love's mental and emotional suffering, the time finally came. It was late at night, around 3am when his Love awoke with labor pains. Lucifer was already awake and at his desk doing paperwork. He immediately called the doctor that Lord Diavolo had recommended for them before approaching his love and trying to calm her. This was it. It will all be over soon and his human will finally be happy once again.

Five and half hours later, the couple was greeted by a beautiful baby girl. The small baby had her mother's hair, her father's red eyes, and a bit surprisingly, her father's black wings. MC cried as she stared down at her daughter; her tears were accompanied by a smile though. A smile. That was enough for Lucifer, who started to tear up at the scene.

"You did so well, Love." He leaned down and kissed his girlfriend's head, staring down at the baby, now drinking from her mama's chest. "I'm so proud of you."

All the days before this were tortuous for the couple, as well as the rest of the House of Lamentation, but finally some happiness was lighting up the household.

The two end up naming their daughter Ksenia.

Bad End:

The demon sighed. He was at his desk, going through paperwork while his Love slept in bed behind him. It was 1am and though that never used to be such a late time for him, these last few months had him exhausted him. His worry and care for his girlfriend took up most of his energy these past few months. MC was already entering her eighth month of pregnancy. The two were just so close to putting this all behind them and being happy. So close.

Lucifer gave a huff and laid his pen down on the desk. His concentration was waning regardless of how much he fought it. He glanced over his shoulder at MC, watching her sleep peacefully. That's the only way she finds peace anymore, by shutting off her mind and losing consciousness. Every waking moment for her is a heavy one and moments she even perceives that she might be alone causes her heart to race in her chest... all she's knows anymore is that pain and sadness yet she pushes on for the sake of their child.

Lucifer stood up and approached the bed, staring down at his Love with a guilty heart. He leaned down and kissed her forehead as he laid his hand on her round belly. There were so many moments during all of this that... he cursed his child for doing this to her. Never aloud, just within the confines of his heart. It was always followed by a reminder that the fault is his own though, not his child's. Their child didn't make any decision nor was it actively trying to hurt their mother. No, this child exists because of him and MC, because of his choices and carelessness. None of the blame truly falls on his child; it falls on himself.

He gave her belly a gentle stroke, a silent apology to the child he felt that he had wronged. Already, he felt that he was making his previous words ring true; he's a terrible father to his child. The night that MC told him she was pregnant, he confessed this fear to her.

"I should have been better. Now what's stopping me from making the same mistakes with our child?"

"Me." She answered, without missing a beat. "Lucifer, you're not alone anymore. This... we can do this together."

He still remembers those words and they roll through his head every time the fear of fatherhood decides to rear its ugly head within his mind. No matter how scared he is on the inside, no matter what happens now, he cannot let himself be engulfed by it all. No. MC needs him now and he refuses to break for her sake.

The demon steps away from the bed and heads towards the door. He shouldn't leave her, he knew that, but sometimes he just had to. It was maddening, confining himself to his room for months on end. Occasionally, and only when his Love is asleep, he allows himself to step away from the room and head downstairs to his office.

Here he sat at his desk, pulling a bottle of demonus from his drawer. It would probably look bad to anyone finding him drinking alone in his office at a time like this, but the man was stressed and he only gave himself the luxury of doing so every two weeks or so.

The man lost track of time while he was down there and before he knew it, the sun was rising. Lucifer sighed before hiding the bottle back in his desk and went back upstairs to join his girlfriend in bed.

Instead, he found her lying on the wooden floor. He raced up, calling her name and pulling her into his arms to better check her.... she was cold. The demon's eyes widened as he checked for a pulse. None... no pulse, no breath...his Love was gone.

Later, he finds out what happened from Barbatos, who checked into the past for him. His Love awoke in a panic after a nightmare to find herself all alone. The usual panic from that compounded with the fear from the nightmare and it was too much for her heart, causing her to have a heart attack. No one heard her because her last moments were filled with her desperately trying to mute herself because she didn't want him or his brothers to hear and burden them with herself once more.

Lucifer was completely torn about this. In the space of a couple hours, he lost both his girlfriend and his daughter (Barbatos told him) because he left his room at the worst opportunity and because he didn't know she felt that way. The emotionally exhausted man never knew she saw herself as a burden. It never occurred to him that she could actually have believed such a ridiculous thing. But he should have. He should have spoke out more. As many times as he told he loved her, as many times as he told her everything would be okay, he never told her specifically that it was okay to lean on him because he didn't know that she needed to hear that.

And now they're gone. And now Lucifer has to live with feeling like he was both a bad father and a bad boyfriend.

Mammon:

It all started off pretty simple in theory: morning sickness

MC's morning sickness was strong and unfortunately, didn't just happen in the mornings.

The two had to skip a lot of school days at RAD. Lucifer allowed this, but had a hell of a time negotiating with their teachers, especially Mammon's, so they aren't penalized too much for this.

MC really couldn't eat breakfast. Or lunch for that matter. If she tried, she'd end up puking it up before even finishing the meal.

She could eat dinner, but it had to be something pretty light for her stomach.

It became so much more complicated as the pregnancy progressed.

Morning sickness usually ended during the first trimester, but it never actually stopped for MC. In fact, the farther she got into her pregnancy, the less her body could keep down.

This freaked Mammon out and he kept running to Lucifer, asking if there's something, anything he can do to help this.

For a while, all he could do was comfort his weakened human... but it was hard.

During her sixth month, it was hard to even look at MC some days because, despite being pregnant and her belly sticking out, the woman had actually lost weight since becoming pregnant; other than her growing belly, she was all skin and bones. Her legs, arms, even her face, all boney and sunken. She started to look as if the life was being sucked out her.

Somehow, the human stayed cheerful. Honestly, her boyfriend didn't understand it; their baby was practically starving her, but she still smiled.

The only time she showed any fear was when she'd tell Mammon how worried she was for their baby; she hadn't felt it kick yet and she was worried it was too weak to do it.

Everytime she spoke this worry, Mammon would hold her close and start rubbing her belly.

"Now, don't go talking like that." He leaned in and laid a kiss to her temple. "Baby is gonna fine."

"But they--"

"But nothin', babe. You know it's a bit on the early side for that anyhow."

"It's early for others to feel something, but I should have felt something before this, a flutter or something but they--"

Tears poured down her cheeks, breaking her man's heart. Mammon froze for a moment before leaning in with a kiss.

"A-Are you sure they'll be okay?" She sniffled, looking up into his eyes.

"Of course, you think I'd lie to you?" He asked before giving her belly a gentle rub. "Look how our kid has grown already! If something went wrong, they wouldn't still be growing, now would they?"

"I... I guess."

Despite everything he said, the Avatar of Greed was scared shitless. What if she was right and something already went wrong? What if he already failed her and his kid? Those thoughts were too much for him though so he did whatever he could to push them aside.

It was during her seventh month when Lucifer discovered a potion she could try, one that could help with the nausea and help her keep more food down.

Mammon had to give it to her every morning, but it helped her keep most of her meals down and regain her strength.

The first few days, they kept her on light meals just in case, but afterwards, she had free reign to eat whatever she craved.

This was when the late night food runs started happening. In all honesty, Mammon never thought he'd be so grateful to be woken up at 2am to get weird food combos like ice cream and beef jerky (MC seemed to have a thing for sweet 'n salty food combos).

Things were finally starting to seem okay; MC was eating, regaining her weight, and just seemed so happy. Not forced positivity, but some real happiness.

Then, around half way done with her 7th month, it happened. MC was sitting in the living room with Mammon and a couple of his brothers she suddenly gasped.

"M-Mammon!"

The man jumped up and rushed to her side. All of the brothers were now standing too, alarmed.

"Shit! What's wrong??"

She grabbed his hand his hand and laid it on her belly. He gave her a confused look for a moment till it happened. A kick! Their baby actually kicked!

MC cried, but also smiled as she saw his face light up.

"Holy-- see! I told you our kid was alright!" He grinned. "Just goes to show that you need to be trusting The Great Mammon more!"

The other brothers settled back down in their seats. Beel actually smiled at the happy couple, grateful that things seem to be turning around for them.

Good Ending:

The rest of the pregnancy went smoothly, thanks to the potion. The couple's worries seemed to disappear for the most part. MC was eating again and healthier; their baby was kicking and seemed pretty lively. There were even nights where the kid kept their mother up (and in turn, their father) with all their kicks and movements, but they were glad to trade sleepless nights for the confirmation that their child was healthy too.

It was her 39 week, just barely missing the nine month mark, when MC went into labor. Mammon panicked in the beginning, causing MC to have to calm him down through her labor pains. The demon eventually got a grip on himself and started helping his girlfriend. After six hours of labor, the couple was greeted with a baby girl, who had her daddy's white hair, her mama's eyes, and surprisingly, two little nubs on her head, which will likely grow into horns just like her dad's. The couple cried along side their bundle of joy. Mammon leaned down and kissed his Human.

"You did so good, Babe. Just look at our girl there."

Most of the pregnancy... it definitely wasn't easy, but when the couple stared down at their little girl, they knew it was all worth it.

The couple ended up naming their daughter Cassia.

Bad End:

It was during the beginning of MC's eighth month when she went into labor. Mammon still remembers her panicked tears as she kept saying over and over that it was too soon. The second born had Lucifer call the doctor as he just held her close and tried to calm her. He gave his all to stay calm himself, but his Human's fear and pain really broke him down inside to the point where he'd have to quickly wipe a tear of his own away before she saw it.

In the end, MC's body was just too weak. Even though she recently had been able to regain some of her strength, it didn't erase the months before that of her body being near starved. The doctor was barely able to save his daughter. Mammon can still remember the look on his girlfriend's face when their girl entered the world, a weak smile of relief. She went to say something, but suddenly exhaled her last breath, leaving her body permanently stilled.

And just like that, he lost the only person who he felt gave a damn about him. He remembers collapsing in on himself while his brothers only saw him stare far away into space. He remembered when his younger brothers started throwing insults and blame his way, saying his stupidity killed her. And he remembered throwing himself against the brother closest to him, later noticing it to be Belphie, just punching him and crying. This shocked them to the point that no one, not even Beel stepped up to stop him for the longest moment. This wasn't Mammon. Mammon never laid a hand on his brothers.

Lucifer was the one who snapped out of it first and pulled the second born off of Belphie. The room was silent as he cried, practically in unison with his daughter in the other room. That was the moment where each of his brothers started to realize just how much Mammon loved MC. All of the brothers cared about her and were hurting from her death, but this was first moment where they really took the Avatar of Greed seriously with his own feelings.

The Brother's were a lot softer with Mammon from then on. No matter what he stole from them, no matter how much debt he racked up, they kept a certain tenderness in their heart for the brother who lost it all with MC's death.

As a dad... Mammon tried his best. No one doubted that, even when the other brothers had to jump in to feed the girl or quiet her cries while her father either cried in bed or searched for some sort of distraction to calm his mind. Looking at Cassia... it was hard for the dad. He'd look down into her eyes, the same eyes she got from her mother, and could only think about how MC should be there with him now... but how she's not.

As a baby and toddler, Cassia was mostly raised by Asmo and Beel. As a child, she had gotten closer with her Uncle Lucifer. Mammon was a loving, but distant dad who constantly tore himself down even when his brothers no longer did.

Leviathan:

Levi and MC got a good five months before facing any major difficulties.

Outside of the morning sickness in the beginning, everything was pretty calm with the pregnancy till then

And what happened at this point in time... honestly, no one could have predicted this.

The two were sitting in his room, each reading their own chosen manga.

When the woman had risen from his side, the otaku didn't really give it any thought, just assumed that she needed to go pee or grab another pillow.

It wasn't till heard a splash to his left that he looked up from his book and saw his pregnant girlfriend at the bottom of his giant fish tank.

Panicking, the demon dropped his book his and rushed up to the top of fish tank. He didn't even notice that he transformed into his demon form before jumping in and swimming down to the human

He quickly swam up with her and carried her back out and onto his floor.

"Shit shit!" The man stared down at the unconscious human, brain being uncooperative as he realised they were not breathing. Then it clicked and Levi put both hands on his Human's chest and repeatedly pressed down, starting CPR.

When his girlfriend eventually coughed up the water in her lungs and came to, he nearly fainted in relief.

He scooped her into his arms and started crying.

"W-What were you thinking???"

The demon didn't understand what just happened. His Henry almost drowned. And she was the one threw herself in! Was she trying to kill herself? Was the whole pregnancy and parenthood stuff getting too scary for her? Was he not taking care of her good enough? Oh devil... what if she thinks he's gonna be a bad dad and just wants to end it all now??

As the Avatar of Envy always did, he thought of the worse outcomes that he could blame himself for.

"I... Levi, what happened?"

??!!

"What do you mean, what happened? You tried to drown yourself!"

The woman's eyes went wide and she frantically shook her head.

"I... no! I would never do that to our baby!"

Even now, she wasn't even thinking of her own life. Just their child's. Levi was scared for their kid's life too, but got so panicked over her's that he didn't mention it before.

As he looked down into her horrified expression, the demon knew she was telling the truth. Or, at least she believed she was.

For a second, the man doubted what he just saw, just experienced. Her drenched hair and clothes were the only things that cemented him in the knowledge that he was right.

But then why did she sincerely believe differently?

Levi texted Lucifer that there was an emergency and needed him in his room now before he helped MC get changed out of her wet clothes.

By the time Lucifer came to the room, MC was in Levi's pj pants and one of his tshirts with a blanket wrapped around her to keep her warm.

Lucifer could sense something different with MC the moment he entered the room. As a demon skilled with magic and curses, he could sense the energy shift within her

And once his younger brother explained what had happened, it had all clicked into place for the first brother. Granted, it was just a theory at this stage, but all signs still pointed to it.

The situation seemed to be a side affect of her pregnancy and a magical one at that. Her baby needed something that they weren't getting so they took the reigns and made their mother give it to them.

That something? Water. The baby seems to have inherited they're father's affinity for water.

Levi was frozen where he and MC sat on the couch.

Basically what the third brother was hearing was that this was his fault, that he almost lost his girlfriend and baby because he has a connection to water.

The demon was ready with a slew insults to express his self blame, but was stopped by MC's quick kiss.

"Hey... none of that." She said softly. "It's okay, it's not your fault. Besides, you saved me."

She knew her boyfriend well enough to know when he was gonna tear himself down but this... she couldn't let him blame himself for something this big.

As per Lucifer's advice, MC started lounging in the bath a couple times a day to see if that would curb her baby's need to be surrounded by water. And surprisingly, it worked.

But as her pregnancy progressed and her belly grew, so did her need to be in water. She'd be fine for a few weeks then suddenly there would be another fish tank incident (though luckily, Levi would stop her before she would even get her feet wet) and her boyfriend would rush her to the bathtub. Each time this happened, the amount of sessions and length of said sessions in the bath increased.

In all honesty, it probably wasn't good for her skin to lay in water so much, but considering this was a life or death situation for her and the baby, it was worth dealing with pruney skin.

It got to the point where it felt like most of her day was spent in the tub and the woman hated it.

Actually ended up convincing Levi to join her for some sessions and loved snuggling up to her boyfriend in the tub.

Honestly, it was something the human wanted to continue between them even after her pregnancy.

Levi had to keep a close eye on her for the remaining months, which was stressful for the otaku, who couldn't really indulge in his usual hobbies, knowing he'd get too absorbed and possibly miss it the moment she needs him.

Still, the demon took care of his Henry well.

Good End:

The woman so ready to birth this baby. MC was so tired of spending her days in the bath tub and being sore and pruney so when the day came, she was nervous, but relieved. She was about a week overdue when her water broke and she went into labor. Levi was a nervous wreck for a most of it, but MC was very patient with him, despite her pain.

After six and half hours of labor, MC held their baby boy in her arms. Levi just stared in wonder at his son. His son. Who would of thought this would ever happen? If you would have told him before he met MC that he'd be a dad someday, he would of said something was wrong with you. If you would of said it after they started dating, he would of told you there was no way MC would wanna give him such a gift.

But there he was, staring down at the son that MC spent hours pushing out and even almost drowned once, just to bring him into this world. This... MC really was amazing.

"Do you wanna hold him?" She smiled at her boyfriend, breaking his thoughts.

The man tensed up, but gave a shy nod.

His girlfriend explained how to hold the baby before setting their son in his arms and telling him to make small adjustments. Levi stared down at his child, who had his hair and MC's eyes. Heck, the little boy even had a tail just like his. The man started tearing up and the human laughed.

"Don't... I'm not crying, I swear..."

After reviewing some of the baby names they talked about, the couple decided on the name Kai.

Bad End:

MC was halfway through her seventh month when it happened. They had recently had another incident of the woman finding her way to the fish tank and had to adjust her bathing schedule again. Bad news: MC had to spend another two hours in the tub each day. Good news? The woman should be incident-free for another couple weeks.

This was why Levi felt it was okay to leave the house, something he rarely felt like doing. He used to never mind spending most of his time in his room. Before this pregnancy, it was his safe haven, where he retreated into in order to avoid all of his troubles and the judgement that he felt he got from the world. Since MC has been pregnant though, that has been the room she spent all her time in, especially since things got... complicated.

His room was no longer a safe place; on the contrary, it was where all of his stress and fears lied. He still powered through it most days for MC's sake, but on transition days where the pattern showed her to be safe, he'd leave the house to go to the comic book store (which also sold manga). He made sure his brothers would keep checking up on her while he was gone.

But they didn't. For a variety of reasons, none of this brothers checked in on her until it was too late. Lucifer was busy working in his study. Mammon left for his modeling gig. Satan was out plotting things with Mephisto. Asmo was in his room, talking on the phone with someone while he did his nails. Beel was in the kitchen, trying to cook dinner and fighting the urge to just eat the ingredients. Belphie was asleep.

Eventually, Beel made his way to Levi's room to check on MC and found her floating face-down in the fish tank. Levi didn't come home until an hour after she was found. He started heading to his room when Lucifer stopped him and called him into the living room. His heart sank when he entered and saw all his brothers sitting around the room. Asmo was crying. Mammon was pretending not to be. The rest of his brothers simply look depressed.

Apparently, MC skipped a bath time while he was gone. She was just so on edge and didn't want to force herself into the water yet. The baby did though. And now they are both gone.

And just like that, the third brother was alone again. Levi locked himself in his room for months after her death, not leaving for school or to even eat. His brothers brought his meals to his room, but he often needed encouragement to eat. The man just wanted to cave into himself and hide away from it all, but the one place he could hide was the same room the human he loved died in... because he wasn't there to comfort her and have her take her bath.

He was so utterly alone. No Henry. No baby. And he felt that he had no one to blame but himself.

~

Part 2 | Part 3