#also for that last bullet point
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King Ohger Finale hopes and predictions
They do the King Walk like the one from the first episode but with all 7 of them through the rubble (with the people following them?).
Jeremie says something and Gira goes into Extreme Thought Mode for the third time but he actually understands this time.
Awesome mecha battle.
Brand New World plays.
Zenryoku King plays either during the mecha battle, the leadup to the mecha battle, or in the final scene (they have to play the theme song we know it's gonna play some time during the episode).
Tarantula Abyss gets something meaningful to do.
Dagded's helmet breaks and we see the tardigrade unprotected.
Yanma says "sukapon tanuki" or "takomenchi" near the end of the episode.
Yanma calls Gira by his actual name.
Setup for the crossover movies?
Highly doubt a Boonboomger cameo (outside of the handshake) but I will be surprised if they pull it off.
Final rollcall (with all 7?).
I cry after watching the episode.
#I SEE SENTAI AND I REBLOG#<- my sentai tag#PavoomPosts#this is a scheduled post#gonna reblog it after i watch the finale to see what i got right and what i didnt#please play brand new world youve played it once and that was in episode 18#and you didnt even play the whole thing#please play brand new world again#ive listened to hundreds of times i want to hear it in the show again#also for that last bullet point#i nearly cried after watching king ohger 49#this is the first sentai ive seen while its airing#and its really meant a lot to me#so seeing it finish right before my eyes is hitting a little harder than i expected it to#we still have the three crossover movies and the eventual cameos to look forward to still though!
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fuck the british? sir yes sir🫡
#eel draws things!#simon ghost riley#cod#i’m genuinely not sure what game this ref is from :( got it on pinterest💔#also ignore the strawberry shortcake in the bottom corner✋my new bullet point sketchbook is strawberry themed and i didn’t want to crop it#anyway this is what that last post abt the military not thinking abt artists was#finished watcjing that playthrough of mw 2… unwell i need him carnally
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@cokoweee
Ya’ll ever have a dream so lifelike it feels aggressively real until one thing goes a little too wrong and then you start to realize that maybe you’re in a dream but it’s also too real to convince yourself it’s not real that you can’t wake yourself up?
TW: panic attack, I say gun, uhhh blood ig? Bishop says a kinda weird thing but that's just him bein him
can I say blood? last time I did it marked me as mature...
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Her heart thumped against her chest, lactic acid building in her legs as she ran. She tapped furiously at her phone, fingers slipping over the screen as she tried to deploy Sheldon.
Donnie says “no no no” chimed a pixilated picture of Othello, his finger waving back and forth.
“What the-” She slammed against a wall, her shoulder crunching against the brick.
His stupid programming on the poor thing to keep Sheldon at his house. Maybe she could override it?
No, not enough time. She was just going to have to run and hope for the best.
Her shoulder screamed in protest as she climbed the ladder in the alley. Scrambling over the side of the building to catch her breath, she tapped at the screen again.
There had to be something she could do to foil his programming. She wiped at her nose, the cold still not quite gone even after days of bed rest. Bullets flew over the edge of the building, seemingly locking on to her body heat. Throwing herself at the ledge at the last second to force the bullets to crash into the wall she coughed violently, phlegm coating her throat.
Stupid sickness.
Stupid Othello leaving her with the stupid rabbit farmer.
She pushed herself off the ground, arms struggling under the weight of herself. It was as if every muscle in her body was on fire, each fiber screaming at her to stop. She gulped raising her head over the ledge. Agent Bishop was standing on the adjacent rooftop, his face curled into a sneer, eyes unblinking despite the sun in his eyes.
He waved at her, fingers waggling in the air as he pulled a small gun from his pocket. Aiming it directly at her chest he grinned, his eyes flickering with something distinctly unhuman.
She stumbled backward, her feet skidding over the concrete as he seemed to lock onto her. Loose rock dug into her knees as she clambered over the rooftop.
Away.
All she needed to do was get away.
She placed a hand over her stomach, feeling the raised bump of the scar, as she moved.
This was…
This was wrong?
It didn’t happen this way.
No. She didn’t need to get away, she needed to get out.
The bullet ripped into her skin, tearing away at muscle, and shattering the bone in her rib.
She screamed, blood pouring from the gaping hole in her chest, as Bishop moved closer. He walked to her side, footsteps clanking against the concrete.
Clawing at the ground she dragged her body along the roof, rocks digging under her nails. Bishop laughed, his foot trampling her hand, digging it into the ground. She gasped, breathing shallowly as she fought to get loose.
He grabbed her hair, wrapping it between his fingers and tightening his grip as he pulled her from the floor.
“Oh, this is wonderful.” He smiled, voice dripping with venom. “Such a pretty little thing I caught this evening. I’ve been dying to chat with you.” He pulled her hair up, forcing her to rise. “I wonder if she’ll do any tricks?”
She spat in his face, her ears filled with an all-consuming ringing.
Away.
She needed to get away.
It didn’t matter how. She needed to get away.
He said something else, flaunting some sort of mechanism he had hidden in his shirt. She tried to focus on his words, but her breathing was too shallow, her limbs too shaky, the ringing too loud for her to hear a word.
She clamped a hand over her chest, a sorry attempt to staunch the flow of blood from the gaping hole in her body. Cursing softly she watched as the red seeped into a slithering pink fleshy mass.
She stifled a scream as the pink turned an orange maroon, her own blood fueling some sort of monster.
“Shhhhhhh.” Bishop whispered against her ear, “It’ll be done soon. Just one quick slash and you’ll be out of my hair for good.”
The mass jumped forward, faster than she could comprehend, her body spasming in pain as she scrambled back.
Was this the Krang she’d heard so much about after she’d left the jail? Weren’t they supposed to be mindless or something?
It lunged forward again, tentacles lashing toward her face. Bishop shook her in front of him, like a toy for a dog.
“Kendra?”
She screamed as he tightened his grip on her, shaking her around like a bag of flour. The world around her turned hazy, her vision blurring in and out.
She wasn’t going to go out without a fight.
Throwing her head back she jammed her skull into his chin, breaking the grip he had on her hair.
She clawed at the ground, a strange silky feeling coating her fingers. Pushing away the softness of what was sure to be Krang, she kicked at the mass as it wiggled unnaturally.
“KENDRA!” A familiar voice shouted at her, a gentle three-fingered nubby touch against her arm.
Her eyes flew open, arms flailing to the sides to swat at what was left of the Krang matter, as hands held her back. She gasped, her chest heaving as a sinking feeling hit her gut. Dread splashed over her head like a wave, drowning her, leaving nothing but fear.
Eyes widening she looked next to her for Tello, horrified as darkness encroached on her vision, leaving her staring through a pin hole. Nausea rolled through her stomach as she gasped for air, her chest shuddering to keep up with her breathing.
It hurt. It hurt so bad.
“Hey, hey, hey.” He whispered, hand placed against her back. “It’s ok you’re home. You’re with me.”
She jerked backward. He was loud. So so loud. Even with the ringing in her ears, he was too loud.
Breaths were punched from her lungs faster than she could finish taking them in. Tears streamed down her face as her eyes blew wide. Her chest tightened, lungs twisting as she shook.
She’s dying. She has to be dying. There’s no other explanation.
Dead in her room from a nightmare-induced heart attack,
Her eyes flickered back and forth over the room, not focusing on anything, just wildly scanning for danger she knew wasn’t there. Willing her arm to move, she let out a chocked warble.
The room seemed to melt around her. Things blurred together, a fuzzy abstract painting of almost-real-life. Sweat beaded on her forehead as she tightened her muscles.
Her whole body shook as she tried to take steadying breaths.
“Did you know softshell turtles only have half a plastron?”
She was in the middle of dying.
She most definitely did not need turtle facts right now.
“Technically a full one, but it’s covered by skin, rendering it effectively useless for plastron purposes.” He shrugs. “Same deal as the shell.”
She looked at him, confusion breaking through the panic.
“Makes us really flexible though. Wanna see?”
He got off the bed, walked to the middle of the room, and bent backward. He smiled upside down at her from the floor and smoothly brought himself back up.
“Pretty neat huh?” He waggled his eyebrows. “Bet no other turtle you meet could do that.”
Amusement rippled through her as she watched him demonstrate his stretches and various yoga poses.
“I’ve never met another turtle like you.” She breathed, some of the panic melting away.
“Precisely! No one can do it like me!” He said, pointing his finger at her triumphantly before his face softened. “ We starting to feel a bit better?”
She brought her thumb and pointer finger close together. A little
He nodded. “Am I good to come back up or do you need some space?”
She patted the bed next to her, inviting him closer. She waited until he was seated comfortably before slumping against his shoulder, exhausted.
He shifted slightly, reaching for his phone with one hand, the other wrapped around her. He let them sit for a moment, reminding her to breathe every few seconds before Sheldon zipped into the room.
He whispered something to Othello before zooming out of the room. She watched passively as it happened, her body still not quite connected to her soul.
Sheldon returned moments later, a bag of ice, a bottle of water, a cookie, and tub of lavender lotion in his little propeller arms.
Othello took them from him, patted his head, and shooed him away. Taking one of the ice cubes he flattened out her hand and placed it in her palm.
She jerked slightly at the sensation of cold in her hand, surprised when he placed another in her palm.
“Focus on the melting.” He said, voice low and gentle.
The ice filled the lines of her hand and dripped over the sides and down her arm. She shivered as the water pooled in her hand. Othello grabbed the cookie from the pile he had created and broke off half to give to her.
“Thanks?”
He watched her carefully. “What does it taste like?”
“A cookie?” She said through a mouthful, her hands still full of TV static.
“I need details.” He pressed.
She paused, taking a moment to consider the flavors in her mouth. “Vanilla, chocolate chips.” She took another bite. “ Like I left it in the oven a minute or two too long and overcooked them just slightly.”
She’d have to make another batch, this time keeping an eye on the time.
He pressed an uncapped water bottle into her hand. “Drink.”
She pressed the bottle to her lips, feeling the way the cold blossomed against her skin as she held it there. Quietly observing the way she could feel it go down her throat and into her stomach.
“Are we feeling more alive?”
She nodded, running her hand along her thigh to feel the fabric of her pajama pants as she pressed her head against his side.
“Good.” He murmured, sleep creeping into his voice. “You had a panic attack I’m pretty sure.”
“...Sorry it was for something stupid.”
“I get worked up over stupid stuff too.” He mumbled, eyes half closed.
“Your stuff isn’t stupid.” She countered.
“Then neither is yours.”
She stopped, lifting her head to look up at him.
He grabbed her hand, flexing the fingers for her. “You feel ok?”
“I don’t know.” She answered honestly.
He nodded and guided her to a lying position. “Tell me five of your favorite things.”
She paused, looking around the room. “Hmmmmm. You.”
“Thank you.”
“Mhm. Uhhh, lavender. The color purple. Satin jackets. Baking. Messing around in the lab. Oh, I guess that’s more than five.”
He tapped her shoulders rhythmically, “You can keep going if you need to.”
She took in a deep breath. “I think I’m ok now.”
“Positive?”
Nodding she pulled the blankets over herself. What she really needed was rest. She was so exhausted from the whole ordeal that the idea of doing anything else felt impossible.
He got off the bed again, searching beneath the bedframe for something before he pulled a large purple blanket from under the bed. She blinked in surprise as he placed it over her, a weight holding her down to the bed.
“I should’ve mentioned it was weighted.”
She pulled her hand out to give a quick thumbs up as he climbed back into bed. She shifted to hold out her arm for a hug. He smiled and pulled her close, wrapping his arm around her waist.
“You smell like you’ve been using my soap.” She grumbled against his plastron.
He shrugged. “ I like the way you smell.”
Rolling her eyes she tugged the blanket higher over her shoulders smiling as soft chirping filled the room, the sound he always made right as he fell asleep.
“Good night Tello.” She whispered.
His plastron vibrated as he churred back, gently running circles through her hair.
She was home. And she was safe.
~
squad don't write stuff at four AM I'm pretty sure this only makes sense to me at this point. Anyway I was listening to my pretty princess playlist while writing this 💁♀️
the reason why this was written is in the tags btw
#Me and my friend were hanging out and she got all excited when I told her I was minoring in creative writing#she asked for me to read me some of my stuff and I agreed LIKE AN IDOIT#well i open my docs and low and behold it's what I posted yesterday#mind you that doc is titled ugly sewer man and his pretty wife#i scroll before she can see the title but at this point I have to read this one#its too late for me to exit the doc without me being suspicious#I read it and she's all like “Well butter my backside and call me a biscuit I forgot you wrote but you do a pretty dang good job!”#I'm just sweating bullets coz I just read her my fanfic of Donatello the ninja turtle and Kendra the dragon chick#she'll never know and I'll never tell her that she was read kendratello fanfic with the names and some of the words replaced#its worth it to say that this isn't the first time that this has happened with her#last time it was the freaking really long one with Leo dying dead and Don also trying to die dead#i went home and cooked myself some pasta to recover because wtf was that#and I was so upset by the situation that instead of sleeping I wrote more kendratello fanfic?#pee pee poo poo#caca dodo even#FOUR AM BABY AND IM STILL HEREEEEEE#Ya'll also got some free stuff to use to help a hommie out if they ever start having a panic attack#tapping method will work on yourself as well if you start feeling freaked out or not in your body.#just cross your arms over your torso and put your left hand on your right shoulder and vice versa tapping your shoulders one at a time#im sleepin now#gn yall#Paige writes
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literally nobody asked for it, but here's my list of saltburn essays that i've slowly been drafting over the course of the last week which WILL be required reading for anybody trying to engage with me about this movie. my very personal saltburn 101 syllabus just dropped
A Wolf in Deer's Clothing: Saltburn's Attempt at Innocence
an examination of party costumes and our character's last attempts to masquerade as something they're not: felix—an angel, all-forgiving and all-knowing, something to be worshiped; and oliver—a prey animal, prey to class-divide, prey to saltburn, prey to felix.
thoughts about oliver specifically are loosely organized in my #bambi tag
A Midsummer Night's Mare: Farleigh Start as the Ultimate Victim of Saltburn
a farleigh character study, about the ways he was mistreated and manipulated at saltburn, about fighting to stay alive and the scars left behind by knowing when to give in
alternatively titled "QuickStart", may be adapted into a conclusive essay specifically focusing on oliver and farleigh's relationship
The Eye of the Beholder: On Saltburn's Voyeurism & Violence [working title]
how wealth and class pushes the catton's toward the volatile reality of being able to look, but not touch. on desire and the lack thereof, and portraying yourself as an object to be desired
may end up as two separate essays on wealth and aestheticism but i'm pushing toward a conclusive essay about the intersection of the two, which i feel is at the heart of saltburn
alternatively titled "Poor Man's Pudding: A Melvillian Approach to Saltburn's Class", again, may be adapted into it's own essay
Gender-Fluid: A Study in Sexuality and Saltburn's Desire to be Dry
a deep dive into the bodily fluids of saltburn and how oliver upsets the standard of men who are just so lovely and dry. on the creative choice to lean into the messy wetness of sex and desire and the audience's instinct toward repulsion
a celebration of the grotesque and an examination of why we would label it as such
least developed of the four, heavily inspired by @charnelpit's lovely post about the fluids in saltburn
if anybody is actually interested in any of these, i can work toward something closer to a finished piece instead of just bullet points and quotes in a google doc, but mostly this is so i can share my very brief takes on a multitude of themes in saltburn that have been haunting me
edit for people seeing this in the future: all posts about my essays are being organized into my #saltburn 101 tag if you’re interested in following these through to development!
#saltburn#saltburn posting#really desperately need someone to pay me to write saltburn essays all day#or else these will never be more than a smattering of bullet points#and these are only the most developed of the millions of the thoughts that i've had rolling around in my brain this last week#idk if lengthy meta-essays are interesting to literally anyone other than me#but if any of these speak to u and u have thoughts abt them#of course u are welcome to send them my way#i think all of these were born out of either seeing bad fandom takes (ie. everything ive seen about farleigh and oliver)#or rly good fandom takes that haven't been talked about enough like the fluids thing#anyway#oh also if u want any interview clips that back up any of these ideas i have a list thats like a million miles long#and would be happy to dig for any specific things im talking about here#bambi#also also im sorry i kno the colon in academic essay titles is so overused i just love a subtitle sm#i love love love a clever little essay title. titling my essays was literally my favorite part of the essay process in college#saltburn 101
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Childhood Friends Au: Danny's in Gotham Again
when the wool is off your eyes you'll stop counting sheep at night cause you'll eat your fill of them during the daytime
A few weeks after Danny’s visit to Gotham, he buys an apartment in the city. It’s this little thing, a studio apartment on the same street he grew up in. In Crime Alley. When he tells his parents, they protest heavily. They don’t think it's safe. They think he should reconsider. There were plenty of apartments and places to live somewhere else. And what about college?
Danny doesn’t think he’ll go to college. He isn’t sure what he wants to do, now that being an astronaut is off the table. It’d be a waste of money to go without a goal in mind, he thinks. He says he’ll take a gap year and apply at one of the community colleges funded by the Wayne Corporation, possibly. It just wasn’t in the cards right now.
“If things get tough,” He says at dinner that night, “then I can talk to the Waynes. I’m friends with the family, remember?” He ended up getting Bruce’s number in his phone again before he left, and in the process got Tim’s as well. They don’t talk much, Danny isn’t sure what to say. But he sends Tim memes whenever he comes across one and thinks he’ll like. Tim sends memes back in return.
His parents do remember. They remember. They also remember the horrified shriek that echoed through the house when Danny learned of Jason’s passing. They remember running up the stairs and bursting into their son’s room and finding him sobbing into his bed, curled up like a little kid, like he was in pain. He lost his voice that day, stuck between screaming out his grief and sobbing it.
They’re still not sure if they should let him go.
In the end, Danny wins them out, and he lets them help him search for an apartment. They take a break from their lab work to help search for cheap furniture to buy. They may have more money than when they were in Gotham, but that frugal part of you never fully goes away. They all agree that they don’t want Danny to be seen carrying in nice-looking furniture when he moves in.
He ends up with a basic furniture set, all mismatched, and in the warm summer of June, his parents rent out a u-haul and drive him down to Gotham to move in. They meet the landlord when they arrive, a skinny and frail old man with wispy white hair and a wrinkled face. He gives Danny the keys and tells him what apartment number he is, and then he leaves.
His parents help him move in. They help him carry his heavy furniture up to the second floor, where his apartment is. Danny isn’t sure if he wants them to help. His mom and dad are strong, but they are getting old, closer to their fifties now that their children are grown. His dad’s hair is slowly beginning to thin, and rather than the white eating at the sides of his head, it now streaks through his hair like salt-and-pepper. His mom’s hair is graying out too, and there are more lines in their faces than he remembers there being.
When he voices his concerns, his mom laughs spiritedly and says that they may be getting old, but they are still as spry as when they were in their twenties. Danny isn’t sure if he believes them or not. He can see his dad struggle a bit when they return to get his bed frame, and they have to take a break before they go back down for the rest of their things.
Five years ago, his dad could do this without breaking a sweat. It forces a heavy thing in the back of Danny’s throat. (He is less afraid of his own death than he is of his loved ones, and while he has always felt rocky with his parents, he still loves them more than anything else.)
Danny’s apartment is exactly as he would have expected it to be: shabby and worn through. The entire room smells like stale cigarette smoke and weed, nicotine stains the wall with poorly covered bullet holes, and stains in the carpet that are a color he can’t discern. The fridge has a broken light and when he tries to turn on the gas stove, it click-click-clicks before lighting, fire fwooshing out while the smell of gas fills the air. There’s rat droppings in the cupboards and the closet-like bathroom is just as bad.
The ghostly part of him can sense the heavy stench of death in the room; people have died in this room. People have died in every room of this building, he thinks. They have died on the streets outside and in the alleys squeezed between them. He can feel it like a heavy fog in the air.
It is painfully nostalgic, a bittersweet feeling in his chest that he grimaces to.
When the last box is placed in his apartment, his parents offer to help unpack. They are hesitant to leave and Danny knows it, although he doesn’t know if it’s from empty nest syndrome or because it's Gotham. He thinks it might be both. He is their youngest child finally leaving home to a city known for its danger.
“Are you sure you don’t want us to stay behind, sweetie?” His mother asks, a frown she tries to hide settled in the creases of her face. She fiddles with her hands, a nervous habit Danny has since noticed when she feels truly unsure and doesn’t need to hide it. Hesitancy looms over her like a heavy cloud.
His dad jumps in hastily, splaying his hands and smiling painfully wide to hide the glistening in his eyes. “You’re mother’s right! We can help you get everything set up, champ. I could probably do something with that stove of yours to make it faster!” He says, his voice still booming like it always does even if there’s a stumble in his words.
It makes his heart squeeze, knowing just how much they care. It was hard last summer, telling him that he was the Phantom. Terrifying, actually. They couldn’t comprehend it. He hadn’t felt his heart beat that fast in years when he stood in front of them at the kitchen table and told them he was a halfa, begging them to believe that ghosts weren’t inherently evil.
His parents were people of science, however, and after much, much shock, they slowly came to terms with it. How could they not? The evidence was right in front of them. Their son was dead-alive, alive-dead. Somewhere stuck in the between. The tears they shed that night could fill a river, moving from the kitchen to the living room as Danny explains how he died.
(When Danny tells them that he died after a week Jason did, his mom and dad look horrified. His mom covers her mouth when he adds that it was his idea to go inside it, his dad looks ashy pale, gripping his pant legs so tight that his knuckles turn white. There is a conclusion coming to their minds that he can tell they don’t like.)
(“You’ve always hated our inventions, Danny.” Mom says in a hushed voice, and Danny winces at the wording, sinking into the back of the cushions in shame. He never thought that his parents noticed. Mom quickly grabs his arm, “No, no, there’s nothing to be ashamed of Danny. We were… perhaps too careless with our inventions, too enthusiastic. You had every right to hate the things we made when they had a tendency to… to malfunction.”)
(Malfunction is a delicate way of putting it, when Danny remembers every time they had to evacuate their old apartment complex because whatever half-baked creation his parents made inevitably blew up into ash and smoke. There were soot marks permanently stained into the ceiling.)
(Her hand slides down and grabs his, and she cups it in both of her hands, squeezing tightly. He forces himself to look up, and there is a look like her heart breaking when he looks into his mother’s eyes. “You’ve always avoided the lab after we moved, Danny. And you had every right to, so why on Earth did you ever think about going into the portal?”)
(Danny struggles to come up with an adequate answer, a way to verbalize what came over him that day five years ago. The answer is there, hanging in the air like a knot in a noose. He opens his mouth, and then closes it.)
(Finally, with a tongue made of lead, he shrugs lamely and looks away. “I didn’t know there was an on button inside it.” He mumbles, and despite being the truth it feels like a lie. But that is the truth. He didn’t know there was an on button inside it. So he didn’t care what happened.)
(Something dulls in mom’s eyes, like she thought of something else that Danny hadn’t said. Her eyes shimmer, and she squeezes them shut, breathing in so deep that it shakes. And then she pulls him into a hug, a hand burying into his hair and pressing him close. “It must have hurt so much, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.”)
(It is something that Danny doesn’t expect her to say, like missing the last step of the stairs. It startles him so much he laughs this short, bark of a thing. He feels his dad press against his back and wrap his big arms around them, his nose pushed into his hair.)
(Because yeah. Yeah, it did hurt. It hurt more than anything else he’s ever felt before. It had torn him apart and sewn him back together again, only to rinse and repeat. The pain was nothing he ever spoke to Sam or Tucker about, and it was something they never brought up. No, that’s not true. If they ever brought it up, Tucker would call it a zap. As if Danny only experienced a mild static shock. Like it was painless. It’s a pretty lie that Danny lets him and Sam believe.)
(His eyes sting and water immediately wobbles into his vision, coming up with such a force that he doesn’t even need to blink before it spills over. “Yeah.” He forces out, voice unexpectedly rough and cracking. “Yeah, it- it hurt. A lot.”)
He tells them about fighting the Lunch Lady a month later. He tells them about finding Jason. It comes spilling out like a waterfall. “I found him, mom.” He says, holding onto her tight while she keeps him tucked under his chin like a little kid. The secret of Jason being Robin stays hidden under his tongue, it is not his secret to tell. Not his identity to expose. He grips her tighter. “I found him, mom. Right there in the Ghost Zone, and he was my Jason. He wasn’t an echo or a— an imprint of him.”
Mom is silent; quiet and attentive, and so is dad, who rubs his large hands up and down Danny’s spine in an attempt to soothe him. It only works a little. Danny breathes in like a gasp as the urge to cry overcomes him again. He always avoids talking about Jason, his grief is like a never-healing scab that can be picked off at any time. It is ingrained into his core.
“And then I lost him.” He forces out, a sob layering under his words that he chokes on and swallows. The hand on his back stills, and he can feel mom and dad breathe in like a question. He turns his head and pushes it into mom’s shoulder. “He disappeared, mom. Just— just gone.”
“And he didn’t move on.” He says, voice snarling like teeth biting before his mom can ask, because he knows that’s what she was going to ask. It’s what Sam and Tucker asked when he came to them in tears hours after he found Jason gone. It’s what Jazz said when he finally told her about it. It’s what every one of his ghosts asked when he told them about it and begged for their help.
Danny grits his teeth and tries not to dig his nails into mom’s clothes as a fresh wave of tears run down his face. “His haunt is still there. If Jason really moved on it would have disappeared with him. That’s how it works. But it’s still in the zone, so Jason’s out there I just don’t know where.”
(Sam once asks him why Danny didn’t just move on from it a year after Jason’s disappearance. She asked him why he didn’t give it up. Danny nearly saw red, and nearly bit her head off for it. It was incomprehensible to him to just stop looking for Jason, to give up. Not when he was out in the zone somewhere. Because he had to be in the zone.)
(Danny once tried to take Jason through the portal with him, and much like what happened to Kitty, it didn’t work. Jason was too tied to the ghost zone to leave.)
(Some bonds are just unbreakable, he thinks. Bonds forged through blood and time and trust, and when you’re on the streets of Gotham, you hoard what little trust you have in someone like a dragon with its gold. It is scarcely given and fiercely kept.)
“I’ve been looking for him.” Danny whispers when talking becomes too hard for him, when it runs the risk of him crying. “When- when I’m not fighting ghosts or, or in school or with my friends, I’ve been looking for him.” He has explored the Ghost Zone in every reach he can. He has met so many people. He’s met the ghosts of aliens from planets in every corner of the galaxy. He has met gods or god-like beings and their disciples.
He’s met famous scholars and writers (he’s gotten the autographs of all of Jason’s favorite writers). He has found entire cities that have so much life in it that it's been permanently etched into the ghost zone, like a mirror version of itself.
He’s visited the ghostly vision of Gotham so many times, and he avoids the imprint of Wayne Manor like the plague. There are ghostly newspapers that he reads. There are the ghosts of Martha and Thomas Wayne in many of them.
Jason’s haunt connects to Wayne Manor, but it is also the street they grew up in. It is a small brick building with a door that leads to Jason’s room. A ghost knows when someone enters their haunt, it alerts them like a doorbell in the back of their mind. A foreign ecto-signature in a place drenched in your own.
Danny visits it every time he goes into the Ghost Zone. It’s always his first stop.
He tells his parents all of it. He tells them of the ghosts he’s met, of the places he’s seen. And when he feels brave, he tells them about Rath and the terror that his future self brings him. He keeps some details hidden, the ones that he can afford to keep without muddling up the story.
(Rath is a tall, spindly thing, like a funhouse mirror version of Danny himself. He has arms that are much too long and legs that are much too tall, with skinny fingers that extend into claws.He wears his suit the same as Danny does, with it partially undone and the sleeves wrapped around his waist.)
(There is a black hole in his chest that is much bigger than Danny’s own. It takes up his chest cavity and drips the same, viscous black liquid as the tears falling from his eyes. Danny never forgets his voice; a scraping, quiet thing like he’s screamed himself hoarse. Rath has a voice like goosebumps, and it haunts Danny like a bump in the night.)
Danny speaks and speaks and speaks until he can’t think of anything else to speak of. He is tired and sad, and it feels like his heart has been ripped out and rubbed raw again. And yet, he also feels so much better. Like a long heavy weight has been taken off his chest.
Yeah, last summer was hard. His parents walked on eggshells around him, and they forced themselves to unlearn their bias of ghosts. It was more than Danny could have ever dreamed of, and when they felt ready for it, they asked him more about the ghost zone.
He smiles sadly at his dad, “I think fixing the stove can be a priority another time, dad.” He says, watching him wilt and his smile fall. Jack Fenton was always so good at making himself look like a kicked puppy. “I can handle unpacking by myself, I promise.”
His parents still look so unsure, like they want to argue. Danny watches his mom purse her lips tightly, confliction running across her face like a datastream. She takes dad’s hand, squeezing their fingers together despite the droop in her shoulders.
“Oh, alright then, I suppose.” She relents, her hand placing on Jack’s arm. “I guess we could go, we’re just going to miss you so much, Danny.”
Tears seem to have won over his dad, and Jack Fenton sniffs back before he can cry properly. “Our little boy, all grown up.” He says, voice wobbling. It makes Danny laugh, and it makes his heart pang. His smile grows impossibly wider and so much fonder. “You’ve become such a kind, wonderful young man, Danno. We’re so proud of you.”
Danny laughs again, and it cracks. “You’re gonna make me cry, dad.” (He feels a welling of guilt in his gut that he ignores — he doesn’t feel like a kind man. He doesn’t feel like a good one either. Not with what he plans to do.)
His father holds out his arms in hopefulness, “One last hug for your old man before we head out?” He asks, mustering up a smile on his face.
Danny barrels into him, nearly knocking his dad over with an oomph. He’s as tall as him now, but he still feels little in his bear hugs. With arms wrapping around his middle, Danny hugs his father tight and breathes him in one last time.
“Careful there, Danno.” He laughs, patting Danny’s back roughly. “You’ll break my ribs with that ghostly strength of yours!” But he holds on just as tight.
Out of spite, Danny bends back and lifts him off his feet, laughing when Jack tenses up and nearly scrambles out of surprise. His mom laughs with him, stepping back to give them room for the few seconds that dad is in the air.
When it’s his mom’s turn, Danny has to hunch to hug her. Something bittersweet to him as she plants a kiss on his forehead and says that he’ll always be her baby. “Even if you do have that horrid smoking habit.” She adds on with a disapproving eyebrow raise.
Danny turns red in embarrassment, and walks them back to the GAV. Gothamites of all kinds slow to stop and boggle at the monstrous, road-illegal thing that is parallel-parked next to the curbside. In the past, Danny would have died with mortification to be seen with it. Now it just makes him laugh. Before he goes back into the apartment building, he buys a newspaper from a nearby convenience store.
The first thing he does when he gets back up to his room is one: make a mental note to buy a bicycle chain lock for the door. The locks jiggle and there are splinters along the side that show signs of it being broken into in the past. The second thing he does is pull his cigarettes out of his pocket and light one.
Danny starts to unpack with a cigarette hanging from his mouth, placing the newspaper he bought onto the counter. He has a cheap loveseat that he pushes off to the side, and he moves the boxes into the kitchen. It’s a matter of organization that Danny has to think about before he does anything.
It’s as he’s pushing the sofa up against the wall facing the windows that his phone rings a familiar tune: Sam. The phone is fished out before he can think about it and when he stares down at the screen, he realizes it's a facetime call.
He presses answer and walks over to prop his phone up onto the counter. The smiling faces of Sam and Tucker greet him, rather than just Sam. Immediately, Danny grins. “Hey Danny.” Sam greets, smiling a dark-painted lazy thing. From the background it looks like they’re in Tucker’s room. Sam is in Tucker’s desk chair, and Tucker is behind her, leaning against it. “Have you moved in yet?”
Danny pulls the cigarette from his mouth and huffs, a cloud of smoke following his breath. “Yeah! It’s a shithole.” He grins lopsidedly, and his feet carry him off to the side to allow Sam and Tucker view of his apartment. He lets thirty seconds pass, allowing the both of them to really see the rest of the room. And then he steps back into frame.
Sam and Tucker both look like they’re trying not to look judgemental, like they’re trying to hide a grimace that Danny sees anyway with the small turns at the corner of their mouths. He grins wider, mirth filling his lungs. “I know, it looks awful doesn’t it?”
“It’s— it’s not so bad.” Sam says with a strain in her voice, a forced smile on her face that tries to be reassuring. Tucker nods along readily, and he looks just as unsure as Sam does. Danny stifles laughter behind his teeth.
“No, no, it looks bad,” He takes a drag of his cigarette, shaking his head. “You can say it, I won’t get offended. It’s a fucking apartment in crime alley. Of course it looks bad.”
Sam remains silent, a rearing of her stubbornness showing itself. Tucker takes a different approach, and heaves a dramatic sigh of relief, slumping like a weight. “Okay, you’re right. It looks bad.” He frowns, “Sorry, man.”
While Danny snorts, Sam sighs. “Yeah, it looks bad. What even are those stains?” She asks, and both she and Tucker lean closer in tandem to the screen, eyes squinting at the floor behind him. Danny glances at the floor, and shrugs.
“Blood, probably.” He says, and while years in Amity Park have accustomed him to a clean environment, the desensitization of Gotham still remains. Tucker and Sam both make faces and lean away, as if the stain itself was capable of passing through to them. “Yeah, there are bullet holes in the walls.”
“Are you sure it’s safe to be there?” Tucker asks, a furrow appearing between his brows. He adjusts his glasses and leans against the chair. Sam is frowning heavily, and Danny can already see her thinking up of a new way to fix the problem.
“Oh, I never said this place was safe.” Danny tells him cheerily, taking a last hit of his cigarette before placing the dead stick onto the counter. He itches for another one. Instead he walks over to the shelf his parents brought in and starts moving it. “It’s Crime Alley, Tuck. Safe isn’t even in its vocabulary.”
Tucker and Sam look like they’ve both swallowed a lemon.
“But it’s where I want to be right now.” He says, grunting quietly when the shelf is against the wall he wants it to be, near the short hallway leading to the front door. He can push it in front of it if someone tries to break in. “And Crime Alley’s apartments are the only ones I can really afford right now without mooching off my parents, and I’d rather not depend on them.”
He can hear the disapproving hesitance from where he stands. And he ignores it.
Danny walks back into frame, lifting up a box onto the counter. He hums lightly, fingers run over the tape keeping it shut. “Why do you even want to be in Gotham, Danny?” Sam asks, and she sounds genuinely perplexed. Danny stills. “I thought this place only had bad memories for you.”
His blood turns cold, and like a dime being flipped his slow heartbeat fills his ears. “It does.” He replies automatically, before he can think. Shit, shit. He knows that Sam or Tucker would ask that question, and yet he still feels unprepared for it. His heart pulses quickly against his ribcage, knocking, asking him what he’s going to tell them that isn’t the truth.
Danny stammers, “I mean— I just— I guess I felt nostalgic.” He says, and it sounds like a weak defense. He looks away, finding himself instinctively scratching his jaw. A new tick of his when he’s nervous. From the corner of his eye, he sees Sam and Tucker both narrow their eyes at him.
He cannot tell them the real reason why he’s moved back to Gotham. He can’t tell them of the little secret and vow he told himself five years ago, the one that’s been left to fester and burn like an open wound close to his core. The one that, if he thinks too much about it, sends a searing hot electricity through him, filling him from crown to toe top-full of direst wrath.
(Danny was always the angrier one in the duo of Jason and Danny. He was always the one with glass in his mouth, cutting his teeth and tongue so that he could spit blood at the world around them. His knuckles had more blood and bruises on it than skin, once upon a time. All because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. He has grown from it, that fury has turned to a small simmering candle.) (But sometimes, sometimes it rears its head, and electricity will buzz under Danny’s skin. There is lightning before the thunder, the second before a fist pulled to punch lands, the spark before it becomes a blaze.)
He stumbles over his words, and then sighs long and low, drooping his head. “I… was thinking that I can’t avoid this place forever.” He says, and the best lies always have the truth in it. Because it’s not a lie, not completely. But it’s not close enough to the truth either. “And that maybe if I came back, I’d be able to do something about those bad memories. Make them better or make it hurt less.”
Like wool over their eyes, it fools Sam and Tucker. Their narrowed eyes soften, and Danny feels like a snake is in his lungs as they both adopt their own versions of gentleness on their faces. “Oh, Danny.” Sam breathes out, and the snake squeezes, “Of course, we understand.”
Tucker nods, smiling at him. “Yeah, bro, that’s really brave of you. I know it can’t be easy coming back.” He says, “Maybe you can reconnect with the Waynes again, you always thought well of Mister Wayne whenever you came back from visiting.”
Danny smiles weakly, the gesture cutting into his cheeks like a knife. Perhaps he could. He was still upset with Bruce for hiding Jason’s killer from him. But he doesn’t hate him. Maybe five years ago, he did, when the death of Jason was still fresh in his mind and freshly bleeding in his heart. Now he just doesn’t know what to think of him. He was Batman. Jason was Robin, and the Joker killed Robin.
It would need to be something he’d have to speak to Bruce about in person, he thinks, in order to resolve it. To hear his judgment on it and make an opinion from there. Danny has learned in the last five years, much to Jazz’s smug delight, that talking to people about something he was upset about did make him feel better.
The conversation slips on from there into something more light, more breathable. And while they talk, Danny unpacks. He sets up his bed in the corner of the room, adjacent to the windows, and unpacks his cheap TV and table stand. It’s directly across from the couch, in front of the windows. He puts up knicks and knacks he’s collected over the years on the shelves.
When he puts up the curtains, he notices that more than one frame jiggles loosely. Sam makes a comment on the musty stains permanently dyed into the glass, and Danny talks about getting something to fix the cracks. Gotham winters can get brutal, and even if he can withstand the cold, doesn’t mean everything else in his apartment can.
“Oh, watch this.” He says halfway through unpacking, and pulls out a stick of thick white chalk from a box. “This is something I learned from Clockwork a while back; I think he knew I was going to move to Gotham.” He grins sillily, popping into the camera frame to show them. “I wonder how?”
Sam rolls her eyes, smiling while Tucker huffs. “It’s not like he’s the Master of Time and can see all past, present, and future.” Tucker snarks.
Danny hums lightly, curt like he isn’t sure he believes Tucker, and walks to a piece of bare wall not yet blocked by furniture. He starts to draw on it. The chalk shimmers with faint ectoplasm on the wall.
“Uhh…” Tucker’s voice cuts through, “Are you sure you should be doing that? Won’t you get in trouble for that?”
“There are bullet holes in the plaster, Tucker.” Danny retorts dryly, arching his hand to make a big circle. “I don’t think the landlord is gonna care if I get washable chalk on his walls.” Inside the circle, he inscribes the symbols of the Infinite Realms. “I don’t think he’d be able to see it anyways, he was really old.”
When he is done, Danny steps back to admire his work. It’s not bad, he thinks, for a lack of practice. He tosses the chalk off to the side, it lands on the couch and rolls back into the cushions. Ectoplasm heats under his hand, slowly glowing from his fingertips before stretching down the rest of his palm.
Danny’s fingers press against the wall, into the center of the circle. The result is immediate, ectoplasm is siphoned off his hand and into the circle. It glows, and then swirls. He steps off to the side for Sam and Tucker to watch its transformation. The circle fills with a swirling pool of ectoplasm, like a smaller version of the basement portal, and then it warps and stretches.
It fills out a rectangular shape, shifting like taffy being pulled this way and that, before settling into a solid shape. It solidifies, and instead of a wall there is a glowing purple door, warped in nature and seemingly shifting like a trick of the eyes. He can hear the gentle hum of the zone standing next to it, and can see the carving of the circle in the wood.
He gestures dramatically, grinning from ear to ear. “Ta-da~” He sings, “A door to my haunt! For whenever I feel like visiting it.” He pats the wood, making a strange thunk-thunk sound. “And then watch this.”
Danny touches the circle again, and the door twists and recedes like water going down a drain. The circle flashes bright green, and then fades into nothing on the wall, invisible to the naked eye. “I can hide it whenever I want! So if I ever invite someone over—” which he doubts, “—I won’t have to worry about them asking, ‘Hey Danny? Why is there a creepy fucking door in your studio apartment?’”
He gets a pair of laughs for his efforts, and Danny grins wider.
Sam and Tucker have to end the call when Danny is nearly done unpacking, leaving him alone with only his thoughts and the Gotham ambience outside. There were only a few boxes left, and they promise to call him tomorrow. He tells them that they better keep that promise.
The silence that follows after they leave feels somberly, as if the reality of moving in has finally set in and filled the air with its loneliness. With its change. Finally, Danny lets the strangeness of moving back to Gotham hit him when he reaches the last box, and he stops to take another smoke break to let it settle.
It feels so strange to be back in Gotham, he thinks. He’s all grown up, or almost grown up. He can vote and pay taxes, but he doesn’t feel much older than he was at fourteen. There’s a disconnect that makes him feel sad.
There are cars running outside, driving by. He can only catch glimpses of them, his apartment faces an alleyway. There are dogs barking in the distance, strays he bets. It’s already dark out, and he wonders if he looks out the window he would see the bat-signal shining through the night and staining the permanent cloud that hangs over Gotham.
Bruce would be so disappointed if he learned the reason for Danny’s return to Gotham. But Danny’s not here for him. He’s here for someone far more important. And like that, the simmering anger that has tucked itself into the furthest corners of his heart starts slipping through. His heart has teeth, ready to strike and snarl and bite.
He crushes the cigarette in his hand and throws it away. When he opens the last box, it is with hands that tremble and with a face of stone. With a delicateness he does not feel, he reaches in and pulls a corkboard from the box. On the corner frame is a small, near inconspicuous carving of another ghost rune.
Danny hangs it up on an empty space on the wall, out of sight from the window. It’s plain, and he has nothing to pin to it. He presses the small rune on the corner, pushing ectoplasm into it. Unlike the door, it does not twist and warp and shape itself into something new. Instead it bursts into green flame, eating away at the board and revealing the same thing underneath it, just in dark blue-black-purple.
Now this board, this board Danny has something to pin to it. The newspaper he bought earlier sits abandoned on the counter, and Danny unrolls it with something like viciousness in his chest. On the front page is an image of a damaged street, and above it is titled: “JOKER STRIKES AGAIN, 3 DEAD AND 27 INJURED”
Danny rips out the first page, he rips out every mention of him. His hands shake and threaten to crumple the paper as he turns back to the board, there is hot blood pounding in his ears. There is an impending sense of finally in his chest, like a setting sun giving the stage to a starless night. There is a stern set in his jaw, five years of festering rage rushing forth like a tidal wave, threatening to make his vision swim.
It would be so easy, he thinks, to go out as Phantom right now and hunt the clown down. It would only take a night. All it would take is a night, and then he could sink his hands into the Joker’s chest and rip out his heart where he stood. It would be so easy.
The thought alone forces Danny to stop as he is hit with another rush of fury, really making his head and vision swim. Thorny vines wrap around his throat, making it hard to breathe. He stares at a spot on the wall until the shaking passes.
If he wants to be discreet about this, then he can’t do it now. Even if he wants to. He doesn’t want witnesses. He doesn’t want an audience. He made a mistake, telling Red Hood about his plan. He wasn’t sure what he was thinking. Perhaps he wasn’t thinking at all. But he can only hope that the Hood hasn’t mentioned it to Bruce. He knows it hasn’t been long since they started working together. He hopes that the Hood has already forgotten about it.
He pins the newspaper clippings onto the black-blue-board, and stands back. It’s bare now, but it won’t be forever.
He presses the circle again, and the pinboard reverts back to its original blank state.
-----
Was I expecting to make a third part?? No. No I was not. I was also not expecting to make an entire google doc filled with summaries for short story ideas about this au that all tie into each other so that way if i DO continue this i have a skeleton pathway to follow rather than making everything up from scratch and potentially cornering myself
you can find this on ao3 or on tumblr 1 2 :)
#dp x dc#dpxdc#dp x dc crossover#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc crossover#childhood friends au#cw swearing#cw smoking#im calling them short stories bc if i call them chapters i might intimidate myself#fun fact every single chapter will have a crane wives lyric on it i am DETERMINED#i hope yall are subscribed to this on ao3 bc i almost didnt post this on tumblr#the fentons being good parents were a surprise to me too but also i never really planned on them being BAD parents#okay so they appear as negligent in the first post but we'll just call that a plothole#i had the idea that danny was the angrier one out of the duo earlier today and it felt like an epiphany#there's no guarantee of a next part but yk immm kinda hoping there is#on the docs the ending bullet point for this chapter was#'make it feel like a tv show where the seemingly inconspicuous and friendly character has something sinister up their sleeve'#WE know that danny's not inconspicuous in the least he's been thinking of this murder for the last five years. but nobody but red hood know#i had to come up with a in-story reason why danny doesnt kill the joker NOW but my out-of-story excuse is: there'd be no tension otherwise#its about the BUILD UP. Its about the RISING TENSION. Its about KNOWING that danny is planning to kill the Joker but you dont know WHEN#its about knowing that something is going to explode but never knowing when#i made the doc yesterday and spent my entire pluralism for educators class going thru the crane wives albums and looking up the lyrics and#matching them to the *checks doc* 18 short story prompts i have prepared#i am still missing one :((#its the tim and danny story and i have NOTHING PLANNED FOR THEM. i cant think of a thing for them to bond over :(( so i cant match a CW son#even DICK has a story and that was also a surprise#my favorite lines: He was always the one with glass in his mouth cutting his teeth and tongue so that he could spit blood at the world#aND danny slapping his door like a used car salesman and going 'now people wont ask why i have a creepy fucking door in my studio aptm :)'
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Day 238 | id in alt
Not her fault she makes nails sound like bullets, Shoko. She's just existing.
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#itadori yuji#shoko ieri#ieri shoko#idk which way it goes at this point im tired#Kugisaki holds her nails she is shown imbueing the nails last second sometimes.#if she was to do that more often then we would've seen some damn holes in some people because of the nails#she hits those things HARD and they go fuckin FAST bro#rewatching and the nails only get like one or two frames before they impact. them bitches GONE#Toji's gun watch out you gotta contend with a girl thats jusy batshit#woe slightly better quality shoko upon ye#she just always has ti serve. I ALWA HAVE TO MAKE MY SHOKO PRETTY BUT ALSO FUCKED UP HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND#her eyes are wide but you dunno i will make her eyebags so bad they're a feature#if yall have the vibe of “shoko wouldn't react like that shes more laid back.”#bro....shoko had to retrieve the body of the maid probably#guns bullet holes y'know that thing so ofc shed be weary y'know#traumatic responses are weird. even in the most laid back of people. you get me on that? hope so LMAOOOO#low quality Kugisaki beloved is just how it be
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Had a long voice chat about Pen Pals AU last night in which some really nice clarifications/revelations were had such as:
It's a post-war/rebuilding society fic where I want to get into the actual rebuilding and not solely focus on the romance. How to do that? Use Pharma's position as CMO who's basically functioning as a public health administrator dealing with the public health issues that come from reestablishing infrastructure and making sure a whole city(ies) of people stays healthy
Ex: energon shortages/rationing, part and transplant shortages, disease/epidemic management ("the C in COVID stands for Cybertron"), medical personnel/hospital shortage in comparison to the increasing population, substance abuse among the veteran population, discrimination in treatment of medical professionals (CC/forged, Bot/Con, etc)
Tarn and Pharma interact at work not knowing they're each other's pen pal, and it happens in the context of Tarn (as newly minted Decepticon activist/political figure) coming to Pharma with equity-related issues in public healthcare. They like each other as coworkers bc they're actually of similar minds when it comes to dealing with these problems. Tarn is pleasantly surprised by an Autobot willing to admit fault with the system. Pharma is happy to have someone competent on his side who also happens to be very imposing. Also they're supposed to be promoting cross-faction cooperation so this coworker relationship makes them feel like they're upholding their promises to their faction
Pharma deals with a lot of social bullshit and interpersonal expectations as CMO because people keep comparing him to Ratchet, or in the case of neutrals, their impression of him is based on his pre-war "famous for being forged" thing.
Realizing that without even intending to, the way I'm writing Tarn in this AU is a dead ringer for post-traumatic OCD/trauma-related OCD. Doesn't really change how I'm going to write him, but having an actual name/label and knowledge that this is an Actual Thing does help a lot (I didn't know you could develop OCD from trauma, I thought it was just an innate disorder that triggered due to genes/environment/etc and Tarn as I'm writing him in PPAU only had PTSD)
#wip stuff#pen pals au#also the last bullet point is funny bc it started as me discussing making pharma bipolar 1 like he is in the wicked#which turned into making pharma a different flavor of mentally ill (OCD)#which turned into 'oh my god this description is literally tarn'#also if any of my followers/ppl seeing this perchance do public health stuff irl#would love to hear input on how to write pharma's life as someone in that field
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late as per usual, but this was April's theme back at the Black Butler Animo: (video)games!
I chose a game that not so many people know but still is my favorite game so far(I mean sure I haven't played so many but whatever) so yea, I'm gonna chose it as an AU. the dialogue is pretty weird cause I'm trying to cram exposition in there lol, but whatever, hope the art's fine atleast.
*ciel speaking*
*sebastian, then ciel speaking*
*ciel speaking*
#i wrote bullet points for a whole plot so that these would make sense to me so yea. i tried to cram some of that in the dialogue....#..... but also id say this dialogue isn't so much worse than the actual game dialoque though lol. it's not perfect#kuroshitsuji#black butler#kuroshitsuji fanart#fanart#sebastian michaelis#ciel phantomhive#digital art#o!ciel#AU#my AU's#life is strange#you could say dadbastian.... but really this ends up being brobastian lol#I mean the game is cool if anyone is thinking about playing! it certainly wasnt a waste of my 30 hours so I hope this is encouraging#the last two are kinda rushed compared to the first cause I only posted the 1st on the 2end of may and still wanted to finish the last 2#I thought the narrative would be incomplete otherwise. it was fun
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The only types of stories capturing my interest right now
YA fiction (with a weird interest in shlocky dystopian fiction)
Rereads
My retellings
Imaginary Book Recs and stories I haven't written yet
#books#i'm a little worried about how difficult it is to get interested in any book#but part of the problem is the time of year#and just yesterday it hit me that i probably burned myself out by reading so many victorian classics/old books last year#i started rereading 'matched' for the first two bullet points#it holds up but i'm still struggling a bit#i plod my way through sentences instead of sinking in (and i know it's 100% me and not the writing style)#(though maybe part of the issue is that it's a lot like my first-person present-tense writing style)#(so i'm in writing rather than reading mode)#i've also got a bunch of shlocky dystopian stories on hold in the library app#that i missed out on when they were actually popular#i've got a craving to reread retellings in general#(for some reason there are certain points in the workday where i'm suddenly struck with a desire to reread 'brine and bone')#(and yesterday i felt a major craving to reread 'thorn' despite the fact that i don't really like it)#at least the retellings craving means i can focus on the retelling i'm writing#as for the last bullet point well you can see my problem#i don't want to write these stories but i want to read them but they don't exist#i also feel like i want to just work on developing characters and a setting that will never become a story#like making up lore for a show that doesn't exist#unfortunately i can't settle on what kind of story/characters i want that to be
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I can't be normal about something can I?
Yet another art of @socialc1imb's au that took too damn long to draw (think ibis said it was like 2 days worth of time save me (i still dont know how to do backgrounds and back lighting hel p))
[tw blood and spoilers for Skys au ig?]
(This art is quite long so I know tumblr is gonna crunch the HELL outta this thing. So if it looks like hella pixelly, tappin on it should make it look better lol)
Some cropped versions below of parts I really liked! (mainly ya boi Apollo lol)
#dont look at the blod and spilt wine for too long#idk how to draw liquids 😔#colors b hinting at crimes#crimes i know of at least lol#i still dunno what tf happened to that bullet bro its fuckin aceattorney all over again#also debated attempting to put like#gunpower residue on minds head from one of the comics#but i didn't know how exactly to do that + didnt think it would show up much#anyways so far thats the last big boi art for a bit till i get a new idea#tho i do have some doodles of this au (and mayhaps a cosplay?? depends how confident i feel lol))#also fun fact the dagger Mind has is based off the one i have irl#since thats the best ref i could get for one lol#also thought the lil point looked like lightning bolts and that fits mr apollo so#ye#okay ill shut up now bye bye :}#chonny jash#chonnys charming chaos compendium#cj heart#cj mind#cj soul#cj whole#cj clue au#-atlas art-
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Ohhhhhh that ending so solidified the anime adaptation in and of itself and made it very complete as a story (a little bit saddened since it doesn't feel like there might be season 2 with the way the ending changed from the the manga's plot points, at least not anytime soon until we get to some other arcs in the manga!)
Also ngl I kept re-watching some of the sign language scenes with Yuki and Itsu just because of how PRETTY the animation was for it. This anime honestly impressed me with the details in animation.
Man the anime did such a lovely job with its adaptation. I'd love to see at least an ONA or something with Yuki and Itsu and the gang giving us sign language lessons. I need to see more of them ughhhh.
I love A Sign of Affection sm y'all. This is my 10/10 anime this year.
#dia talks#yubisaki to renren#a sign of affection#spoilers#a sign of affection spoilers#yubisaki to renren spoilers#I am a little bit pedantic when it comes to the fact that they didn't bring an actual trilingual voice actor for Itsuomi#but honestly there's only so many voice actors you can find that fit that criteria (and one got recently cancelled so they dodges a bullet)#so even with my pedantic linguistic side I am genuinely pleased with how much vocal and sign languages and they added in this anime#and i also heard some of the background ones speak very fluently too especially for the german kids in the last ep so that was major points#anyway definitely a 9.5/10 which im rounding to 10/10 because i can and also 'cuz MAL doesn't use decimal scores for its user rating
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@shepards-dead-fish DELIGHTED to talk about this, tyvm
first and foremost, the big dawg himself, Nolanverse Joker
His whole deal can honestly be summed up with:
effectively flipping a code of morality on its head necessitates an intimate understanding of that code of morality first. Ledger's Joker sure does spend an awful lot of his limited screentime preaching nihilism to people, that nothing matters, that saving a busload of puppies and pushing a granny into traffic are both completely morally neutral acts, as is everything else under the sun, because there's nobody up there keeping score.
to me it reads like a crusade. to me, it reads like a smokescreen for rage and disgust. either the Joker isn't human, is instead a figment, a personification of chaos, or he is human, and something happened, something shoved him over the edge, and his actions are a means of punishing a cruel world that he bitterly resents and hates in its totality. you have to understand the concept of cruelty to react to it and lash out like that, though. you have to understand that it's a bad thing-- that bad exists at all. a true nihilist, when confronted with the weight of the world, shrugs-- because what are you going to do? what's the point in trying to change anything when any change is equal to the status quo?-- and moves on with their day. The sheer amount of time and effort the Joker expends on terrorizing Gotham speaks to a belief that Gotham deserves punishment, and punishment as a concept doesn't exist if there's no right or wrong.
confronted with this idea, he would claim that it's just his favorite hobby, his favorite thing to do, and since there's no moral weight attached to the shit he pulls then why not indulge in it? it's important to understand that this is total horse shit. it may well be his favorite hobby, but I think it's his favorite hobby because doing this shit makes him feel superior to everyone, and again, if he was a true believer in what he's peddling, he'd know that there's no true superiority when everything is on totally equal, neutral footing. he's a liar. he's an excellent bad guy because he knows bad exists and is intimately familiar with it. he lives as an inversion of good, tacitly acknowledging that good exists and that he's painfully aware of it.
next up: Jerome Valeska!
Jerome is honestly kind of a doll compared to the others. He's on the simpler side of Jokers when it comes to his motivations and morality, because he sort of of wears his heart on his sleeve (and he never shuts up, so you don't really have to wonder what he's truly thinking). Jerome is doing what he does because he sees it as punishing a world that failed him, and he's open about it. He kicks off his criminal career by murdering his abusive mother, he's unrepentant about it, and from that point on, everything he does is with an attitude of "why should I care if anyone lives or dies if nobody ever did the same for me?"
There's no doubt that, like Ledger's Joker, Jerome really does get a kick out of violence (his family members who've known him since he was a kid repeatedly call him out for being a difficult, bad kid who frequently acted out and scared them-- and it's not as if regular abuse can have that effect on a child, right? he was definitely just "born bad," as his brother Jeremiah puts it. /s). I would argue that he gets a lot more actual joy and fulfillment out of murder and mayhem than any other Joker. He really just likes to kill, terrorize, and destroy! It makes him feel powerful and engaged with the world. It's his main social outlet (he's an extrovert).
He knows it's wrong-- he never tries to argue otherwise, or get out of it by acting like right and wrong don't even exist-- but in Jerome's morality, he's justified in doing it, because the way he was treated was wronger. All he's doing, in his mind, is seeking revenge, and revenge is one of Jerome's biggest motivators. I would argue that the pursuit of it is something he thinks is always morally correct in any case. There's a sense of fairness there, and by extension unfairness. He understands that it's an unfair world, and he thinks it's every person's right to fight for what they believe they're owed, even if that means stepping on other people to get it. "Every man for himself" is Jerome's morality, and given his background, how could it not be? If nobody ever reaches a hand out to you, you never learn to reach out a hand to others.
(By the time he meets people who do reach out their hands to him-- Lee Thompkins, Bruce Wayne-- his point of view is firmly cemented, and instead of opening up to the possibility that the pursuit of goodness might be worthwhile, he laughs at them for being freaks of nature, acting against their own self-interest.)
And finally, Arthur:
Arthur, who of the three is easily the most sympathetic and more of an anti-hero than an outright villain.
Arthur, like Jerome, is also lashing out against a world that has repeatedly hurt him, but in contrast to the other Jokers, whose destruction spreads out over the whole city, he's very deliberate about who he attacks. He goes after people he specifically feels mistreated by. He goes after bullies and thugs and the elites who he blames for the state of Gotham, as well as for his own low personal state. His victims are specifically targeted-- he's not out to just hurt anyone he can get his hands on. He doesn't seem to find any pleasure in the idea of hurting people just to hurt them. He wants to punish bad people (and, at worst, he's neutral about innocents, though I'd say he leans more towards sympathizing with them than not caring about them at all).
That's what I mean when I say his moral code is unusually explicit for a Joker-- it is! Far from being the city's personal tormentor, he's basically hailed as a vigilante and a sort of champion at the end! That's very odd for a Joker. Far from denying they even exist, he very clearly knows the difference between right and wrong, and moreover, he cares about trying to do the right thing (which is why he never even seemed to entertain the idea of killing Gary, even though Gary had just witnessed Arthur committing a serious crime-- Gary hadn't done anything wrong, Gary didn't deserve to be killed). Unlike TDK Joker and Jerome, he doesn't seem to have a natural inclination towards and sense of pleasure in violence-- it seems painful for him, like a last resort, something that takes him over and that he surrenders to rather than something that's always been a temptation in the back of his mind.
But I don't think he thinks of himself as a bad guy. I think he thinks of himself as desperate, maybe broken. I think he cares about being good, I think he's tried to be good-- I think he feels like he's tried everything. But in Arthur's mind, violence is now the only way, the only thing that will make the bad guys sit up and take note. I think that he thinks that the exercise of violence against bad guys is no longer an evil, and I think the distinction matters to him because, again-- he wants to be good. In his view, it's the world that's stopping him from being good, nothing inherent to his own nature.
so yeah. all three of them have a personal sense of morality that informs their lives and decisions, and that they use to justify the things they do. it's super interesting to see where they differ and where they overlap.
#the joker#there are other Jokers of course but those are the big live-action 3#it's funny that the shortest entry here is for TDK Joker because he's easily the most complex. the nastiest puzzle box of a man#but there's real simplicity beneath all the quirks and flourishes he piles on. pure unfettered hatred and rage is fairly simple in the end#I may dig further into the others at some point but they're also pretty easy to bullet point like so:#nicholson joker: oldschool gangster rules. definitely cracked when the acid deformed him. out for revenge; fine with collateral damage#(because his pride was hurt and in his mind that justifies any atrocities he commits to try to get back at everyone for it)#(rudimentary but an important template for Jokers that followed)#jeremiah: his morality is ''the smartest man in the room has the right to do whatever he wants.'' he is always the smartest man in the room#comic book/animated series joker: GENUINELY whatever is funniest is the objective right thing to do at any given time#(this is the realest and purest form of Joker btw. this is what all the other edgelord Jokers WISH they could be.)#anyway I did this for the last hour instead of doing my work. so I should get back to work lol#gotham spoilers#pics from pinterest; sources r linked through the photos
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I used to like saying "gender is a social construct," but I stopped saying that because people didn't tend to react well - they thought that I was saying gender wasn't real, or didn't matter, or could be safely ignored without consequences. Which has always baffled me a bit as an interpretation, honestly, because many things are social constructs - like money, school, and the police - and they certainly have profound effects on your life whether or not you believe in them. And they sure don't go away if you ignore them.
Anyway. What I've taken to saying instead is, "gender is a cultural practice." This gives more of a sense of respect for the significance gender holds to many people. And it also opens the door to another couple layers of analysis.
Gender is cultural. It is not globally or historically homogeneous. It shifts over time, develops differently in different communities, and can be influenced by cross-cultural contact. Like many, many aspects of culture, the current status of gender is dramatically influenced by colonialism. Colonial gender norms are shaped by the hierarchical structure of imperialist society, and enforced onto colonized cultures as part of the project of imperial cultural hedgemony.
Gender is practiced. What constitutes a gender includes affects and behaviors, jobs or areas of work, skillsets, clothing, collective and individual practices of gender affiliation and affirmation. Any or all of these things, in any combination, depending on the gender, the culture, and the practitioner.
Gender encompasses shared cultural archetypes. These can include specific figures - gods and goddesses, mythic or fictional characters, etc - or they can be more abstract or general. The Wise Woman, Robin Hood, the Dyke, the Working Man, the Plucky Heroine, the Effete Gay Man, etc etc. The range of archetypes does not circumscribe a given gender, that is, they're not all there is to gender. But they provide frameworks and reference points by which people relate to gender. They may be guides for ways to inhabit or practice a gender. They may be stereotypes through which the gendered behavior of others is viewed.
Gender as a framework can be changed. Because it is created collectively, by shared acknowledgement and enforcement by members of society. Various movements have made significant shifts in how gender is structured at various times and places. The impact of these shifts has been widely variable - for example, depending on what city I'm in, even within my (fairly culturally homogeneous) home country, the way I am gendered and reacted to changes dramatically. Looping back to point one, we often speak of gender in very broad terms that obscure significant variability which exists on many scales.
Gender is structured recursively. This can be seen in the archetypes mentioned above, which range from extremely general (say, the Mother) to highly specific (the PTA Soccer Mom). Even people who claim to acknowledge only two genders will have many concepts of gendered-ways-of-being within each of them, which they may view and react to VERY differently.
Gender is experienced as an external cultural force. It cannot be opted out of, any more than living in a society can be opted out of. Regardless of the internal experience of gender, the external experience is also present. Operating within the shared cultural understanding of gender, one can aim to express a certain practice of gender - to make legible to other people how it is you interface with gender. This is always somewhat of a two-way process of communication. Other people may or may not perceive what you're going for - and they may or may not respect it. They may try to bring your expressed gender into alignment with a gender they know, or they might parcel you off into your own little box.
Gender is normative. Within the structure of the "cultural mainstream," there are allowable ways to practice gender. Any gendered behavior is considered relative to these standards. What behavior is allowed, rewarded, punished, or shunned is determined relative to what is gender normative for your perceived gender. Failure to have a clearly perceivable gender is also, generally, punished. So is having a perceivable gender which is in itself not normative.
Gender is taught by a combination of narratives, punishments, and encouragements. This teaching process is directed most strongly towards children but continues throughout adulthood. Practice of normatively-gendered behaviors and alignment with 'appropriate' archetypes is affirmed, encouraged, and rewarded. Likewise 'other'- gendered behavior and affinity to archetypes is scolded, punished, or shunned. This teaching process is inherently coercive, as social acceptance/rejection is a powerful force. However it can't be likened to programming, everyone experiences and reacts to it differently. Also, this process teaches the cultural roles and practices of both (normative) genders, even as it attempts to force conformity to only one.
Gender regulates access to certain levers of social power. This one is complicated by the fact that access to levers of social power is also affected by *many* other things, most notably race, class, and citizenship. I am not going to attempt to describe this in any general terms, I'm not equipped for that. I'll give a few examples to explain what I'm talking about though. (1) In a social situation, a man is able to imply authority, which is implicitly backed by his ability to intimidate by yelling, looming, or threatening physical violence. How much authority he is perceived to have in response to this display is a function of his race and class. It is also modified by how strongly he appears to conform to a masculine ideal. Whether or not he will receive social backlash for this behavior (as a separate consideration to how effective it will be) is again a function of race/class/other forms of social standing. (2) In a social situation, a woman is able to invoke moral judgment, and attempt to modify the behavior of others by shame. The strength of her perceived moral authority depends not just on her conformity to ideal womanhood, but especially on if she can invoke certain archetypes - such as an Innocent, a Mother, or better yet a Grandmother. Whether her moral authority is considered a relevant consideration to influence the behavior of others (vs whether she will be belittled or ignored) strongly depends on her relative social standing to those she is addressing, on basis of gender/race/class/other.
[Again, these examples are *not* meant to be exhaustive, nor to pass judgment on employing any social power in any situation. Only to illustrate what "gendered access to social power" might mean. And to illustrate that types of power are not uniform and may play out according to complex factors.]
Gender is not based in physical traits, but physical traits are ascribed gendered value. Earlier, I described gender as practiced, citing almost entirely things a person can do or change. And I firmly believe this is the core of gender as it exists culturally - and not just aspirationally. After the moment when a gender is "assigned" based on infant physical characteristics, they are raised into that gender regardless of the physical traits they go on to develop (in most circumstances, and unless/until they denounce that gender.) The range of physical traits like height, facial shape, body hair, ability to put on muscle mass - is distributed so that there is complete overlap between the range of possible traits for people assigned male and people assigned female. Much is made of slight trends in things that are "more common" for one binary sex or the other, but it's statistically quite minor once you get over selection bias. However, these traits are ascribed gendered connotations, often extremely strongly so. As such, the experience of presented and perceived gender is strongly effected by physical traits. The practice of gender therefore naturally expands to include modification of physical traits. Meanwhile, the social movements to change how gender is constructed can include pushing to decrease or change the gendered association of physical traits - although this does not seem to consistently be a priority.
Gender roles are related to the hypothetical ability to bear children, but more obliquely than is often claimed. It is popular to say that the types of work considered feminine derive from things it is possible to do while pregnant or tending small children. However, research on the broader span of human history does not hold this up. It may be true of the cultures that gave immediate rise to the colonial gender roles we are familiar with - secondary to the fact that childcare was designated as women's work. (Which it does not have to be, even a nursing infant doesn't need to be with the person who feeds it 24 hours a day.) More directly, gender roles have been influenced by structures of social control aiming for reproductive control. In the direct precursors of colonial society, attempts to track paternal lineage led to extreme degrees of social control over women, which we still see reflected in normative gender today. Many struggles for women's liberation have attempted to push back these forms of social control. It is my firm opinion that any attempt to re-emphasize childbearing as a touchstone of womanhood is frankly sick. We are at a time where solidarity in struggle for gender liberation, and for reproductive rights, is crucial. We need to cast off shackles of control in both fights. Trying to tie childbearing back to womanhood hobbles both fights and demeans us all.
Gender is baked deeply enough into our culture that it is unlikely to ever go away. Many people feel strongly about the practice of gender, in one way or another, and would not want it to. However we have the power to change how gender is structured and enforced. We can push open the doors of what is allowable, and reduce the pain of social punishment and isolation. We can dismantle another of the tools of colonial hedgemony and social control. We can change the culture!
#Gender theory#I have gotten so sick of seeing posts about gender dynamics that have no robust framework of what gender IS#so here's a fucking. manifesto. apparently.#I've spent so long chewing on these thoughts that some of this feels like. it must be obvious and not worth saying.#but apparently these are not perspectives that are really out in the conversation?#Most of this derives from a lot of conversations I've had in person. With people of varying gender experiences.#A particular shoutout to the young woman I met doing collaborative fish research with an indigenous nation#(which feels rude to name without asking so I won't)#who was really excited to talk gender with me because she'd read about nonbinary identity but I was the first nb person she'd met#And her perspective on the cultural construction of gender helped put so many things together for me.#I remember she described her tribe's construction of gender as having been put through a cookie cutter of colonial sexism#And how she knew it had been a whole nuanced construction but what remained was really. Sexist. In ways that frustrated her.#And yet she understood why people held on to it because how could you stand to loose what was left?#And how she wanted to see her tribe be able to move forward and overcome sexism while maintaining their traditional practices in new ways#As a living culture is able to.#Also many other trans people of many different experiences over the years.#And a handful of people who were involved in the various feminist movements of the past century when they had teeth#Which we need to have again.#I hate how toothless gender discourse has become.#We're all just gnawing at our infighting while the overall society goes wildly to shit#I was really trying to lay out descriptive theory here without getting into My Opinions but they got in there the last few bullet points#I might make some follow up posts with some of my slightly more sideways takes#But I did want to keep this one to. Things I feel really solidly on.
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i think it'd be really funny to write a crossover specifically between the latest three TMNT series bc the ingenuity and bold new directions of Rise and Mutant Mayhem leave 2012 - the one that's most faithful to the previous lore - looking like the odd one out.
because, like:
-Rise and MM both have the turtles explicitly call Splinter "dad", while 2012 sticks with the traditional "Master Splinter."
-Rise and MM both have a Splinter character who is neither an ex-martial arts master or Japanese, and in fact barely knows how to do martial arts in general, whereas 2012's Splinter follows the comic origins (a native Japanese man and trained martial artist).
-2012's Splinter also features a backstory element the Rise and MM versions don't: being explicitly related to Shredder.
-Rise and MM both have black/poc Aprils who are fairly similar in both personality and vibes, which makes 2012's April (who's the traditional redheaded version with the same basic "action girl who hangs out with the turtles" template but whose character traits are notably different) stick out uncomfortably in comparison.
-Rise and MM both show Raph as an easily excitable tank, while 2012's Raph is deeply rooted in the cynical guy with a temper from earlier incarnations.
-2012 gives the turtles genuine beef with each other (most notably Leo and Raph fighting over the leadership position). Rise and MM completely handwave that and all of their turtles are chill with each other outside of typical brotherly scrimmages.
-Rise and MM both portray the turtles as unusually skilled novices who win most of their battles by fucking around and finding out, while 2012's turtles are trained fighters with child soldier undertones and the mindsets to match.
i'm not saying there's a sharp divide between 2012 and the other two (there isn't) or that 2012 doesn't share anything with the other two shows (it does), but if you put all three casts of characters together and had them compare their own lore, i think the 2012 characters would seem like weirdos/odd ducks compared to the Rise and MM, which is very funny to think about bc they're the only one of the three who are actually like. recognizably drawing on the characters and concepts of its predecessors.
#i mean - imagine what rise and mm's splinters would say to 2012 splinter#now imagine 2012!april meeting the other two aprils and immediately seeing the obvious diverge point lmao#or 2012!raph not really vibing with rise and mm's raphs bc they don't struggle with genuine anger issues the way he does#and obviously they'd have no way of knowing that there's a “traditional” tmnt format#so all they see is that this universe is pointedly different from the other two#i think rise and mm would look at 2012 and be like “where did you go wrong” ashahjdhasjhdjkaka#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#tmnt 2012#mutant mayhem#sage speaketh#au tag#crossover#edited for your convenience#(<-cleaned up some wording)#(<-also removed the last bullet point bc i don't think i articulated it well + it felt redundant)
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Remus Lupin headcanons that you can pry out of my cold dead hands
Remus loves music but he can’t sing for the life of him
This does not stop him from trying
He had the fattest crush on Sirius starting in third year but he didn’t say a word
No one realized until fifth year, and they were all sworn into silence
Remus experimented with punk in sixth year and that’s where Sirius got his iconic look
When Sirius ran away from home, James let Remus know immediately
Remus fell through the floo in a state of panic
He refused to leave Sirius’ side for three days, which is how long it took for Sirius to recover enough to tell Remus to fuck off
Remus was heartbroken after The Prank, more sad than angry through the summer and Sirius running away was the last nudge he needed to forgive him
Seeing Sirius pale and injured and so so scared broke any anger that was left
Remus was absolutely amazing at Charms
Despite his passion for DADA, he always got the best marks in Charms
Remus was obsessed with The Sandman comics when they came out
He injured his hip during a moon in fourth year and used a cane from then on (when Sirius could convince him to)
Remus fostered werewolf children while Sirius was in Azkaban
Welsh Remus !! (He once asked Sirius what his favorite color was, and upon hearing that it was red started giggling and only stopped to wheeze out “you love coch!” [the ch is pronounced like English ck])
Remus feathered his hair when it was a popular hairstyle
He hated wizarding robes and opted to wear corduroy trousers with his cozy sweaters
He kept an annotated copy of The Picture of Dorian Gray on his person at all times (and used a different color pen for each reread)
He studied with Regulus in the library even after Regulus stopped following Sirius around the castle
He liked to crochet accessories for the marauders’ animagus forms
He never glamoured his scars away because in second year, while riddled with sleep deprivation, Sirius told him that his scars were so so beautiful
Remus always asked for fun socks as Christmas presents
He kept every pair
He taught Sirius a nightlight spell in his first year after he found out that Sirius had nightmares when he was in a dark room
He knew the spell because his father used it every full moon when he snuck into the basement in between the transformation back and Remus’ return to the waking world
When he asked Lyall about it his father denied doing it but did direct him to a spell book
Hope Lupin taught him everything he knew about cooking
He learned sign language to talk to a younger Deaf student at Hogwarts who he found crying in one of his hiding spots
He gifted Lily and James a cat when they went into hiding so that they would have more company (and because Sirius hated cats)
He regularly checked up on Harry (in secret) while he was still living with the Dursleys
Sirius had to keep him from murdering the whole family
He was inconsolable when he came back from a remote Order mission to the news that three of his best friends were murdered by the love of his life
If anyone had been around during his grieving they would have heard his sobs for Regulus, James, Lily, Peter, and the Sirius that he knew and loved
He knew that his Sirius would never do that to James
#marauders era#wolfstar#remus lupin headcanon#remus x sirius#he’s also autistic bc so am I#I’m so sorry about the last couple bullet points#this is a lie#anyways the cat was Crookshanks#Hagrid saw a cat in the ruins and took it along with Harry
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popular m/f ships dynamics that I wish could change but hey algorithms on the clock app have an awful amount of power
jock/swot where she’s the muscular athlete with the swoony biceps and he’s the repressed nerdy tutor
sunshine/grumpy where he’s the joyful walking sunbeam and she’s busy scowling in the corner (also: she talks in grunts and has tattoos)
best friend’s older sibling where she’s the older and protective one
she’s the reclusive lady of the gothic manor and he’s the innocent lad who has an arranged marriage set with her
#gender is fake but also real in a certain type of heterosexual contemporary romance novels#I’ve been thinking a lot about how gender plays a role in romances#and how that binary is rebuilt through specific popular tropes#thoughts thoughts thoughts thoughts thoughts#if you guys know of any books with the last bullet point please let me know
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