#i wrote bullet points for a whole plot so that these would make sense to me so yea. i tried to cram some of that in the dialogue....

[anewp0tat0]

late as per usual, but this was April's theme back at the Black Butler Animo: (video)games!

I chose a game that not so many people know but still is my favorite game so far(I mean sure I haven't played so many but whatever) so yea, I'm gonna chose it as an AU. the dialogue is pretty weird cause I'm trying to cram exposition in there lol, but whatever, hope the art's fine atleast.

*ciel speaking*

*sebastian, then ciel speaking*

*ciel speaking*

[xtraordinaryfangrl]

S3 Allison Hargreeves is NOT Canon!

—

I finally bit the bullet and watched Episode 5 of TUA S3 - the episode where Allison borderline SA’s Luther and I have no idea what the writers were thinking when they wrote that into the script.

Actually, no, that’s the problem! They weren’t thinking!

Up until that point, I was genuinely enjoying this season. The Sparrows were annoying but intriguing characters. The Diego and Stanley dynamic was everything and seeing him as a legit father in the final season will break my heart. I loved Viktor (or V, as I affectionately call them) and his transition as well as everybody’s reaction. Especially Allison’s, and her comradery with him in those first few episodes made me feel things. BITTERSWEET THINGS. Their relationship has always been so interesting to watch and I’ve grown fond of them as a duo despite the tension and angst they’ve displayed throughout the show.

I felt the desperation Allison had to get her daughter back, the way it boiled and bubbled up to rage. I understood her motive and empathized with her pain, even agreed with her and the rest of the Hargreeves pack on the Harlan situation. I could see her delving deeper into her “Wandavison Era” and I was ready to side with her on everything, then THAT scene happened.

Her relationship with Luther always creeped me out because of their romantic history. They were raised together before they got together and called the same man father - which is just another weird layer to the incest trope. She forces him to kiss her when she could have just… threatened to rumor him? Or at the very least show she could still control one thing at that moment by making him stand still?? That would have driven her point across just fine, WITHOUT Jedi mind-tricking a non-consensual sexcapade???

What’s worse about Allison’s character assassination is that she most likely doesn’t see anything wrong with what she did, and neither does Luther because like the doe-eyed himbo he is - he immediately skips off to see Sloan as if he’s the male lead in some early 2000s rom-com! They didn’t see an issue with what happened because the writers didn’t see an issue, and that’s MY issue with this.

Nowadays, no matter how a story is told, everything is up to the audience’s interpretation. But sexual manipulation, depression, and other important topics that real people experience should not be treated as an ambiguous “oh it can be taken multiple ways” plot point.

If St*ve Bl*ckman or whoever mapped out Allison’s S3 journey was a competent screenwriter, they would have refocused her contempt on The Sparrows. And if they REALLY wanted to make her past with Luther a central point, they could have put her “you’re blowing me off for some knockoff you’ve known for five minutes?” line to good use by making Sloan her target instead of Harlan.

—

I don’t know. This was a whole rant and maybe none of it makes sense. But aside from the few good things to come from S3 (such as V coming out as trans and Diego/Lila pre-parenthood shenanigans), nothing else happens. Any “canon storyline” after S2 is an acid-laced fever dream as far I’m concerned.

[thief-of-eggs]

HI Ok this is probably going to sound completely unhinged but bear with me: I have this issue where I have lots of ideas (usually very vague ones) for stories that I love to imagine writing—but when I actually get around to writing them I just stare at a blank page; or I have no idea for plot beyond some abstract concepts—I’ve been thinking a lot about Snowjanus recently, and—this is the unhinged part—one of my main interests is early American history and there was this guy named William Strachey who was the secretary of Jamestown, and also an attempted poet, and when I read TBOSAS I realized that I recognized the name Sejanus from one of his poems VPON SEIANVS, which was prefaced to Ben Johnson’s Seianus His Fall,—and it all just works so nicely together since they were contemporaries of Shakespeare (AND Seianus His Fall was performed at the Globe, and Strachey’s story of being shipwrecked very likely inspired The Tempest) who of course wrote The Tragedie of Coriolanus—now thematically or narratively I have no idea how these things would all fit together—I have a lot of other random ideas like that, or vibes but nothing concrete—this is basically a long-winded way of asking if you had any advice on how to go from “man this idea sure would be neat” to an actual story? (I’m obsessed with your writing btw <3)

Hi hi!!! I am happy to help!! Also I understand exactly what you mean- I only hope that my advice actually makes sense!!!

Ok so- for me personally, when it comes to getting rough ideas out onto a page, I have a couple different methods I follow:

- The first is, if I already have parts of a whole scene in mind, but I don’t know the beginning/ending, I often just write the part that I know. So if that means writing the climax for a story, even though I have no idea how I’ll get the plot there? Oh well. At least the idea is out, and often times that will inspire me more.

- If I have a hazy idea but no plot yet, I like to write out little bullet points. Sometimes bullet points as simple as: (using my fic Thoughts of you Consume as an example)

- Coryo and Sejanus begin to have hate sex

- Coryo starts to feel something more

- Sejanus pulls away. Coryo chases after

Like! Those bullet points give me NOTHING. But they also give me a baseline to begin working off of, and from there I can begin to envision where I want it to go. I’ll expand on each bullet point and add subcategories, which only helps make the plot outline grow

- Another method that I sometimes use is to just spitball ideas. I’ll set a timer sometimes, or just devote myself to the task, and will just write out any ideas that come to mind with a particular prompt, and then I take it from there. Example for the prompt “snowjanus first kiss”, I may write out stuff like this:

- Coryo kisses Sejanus after the arena scene, his emotions a whirl

- Sejanus kisses Coryo on the train, too damn happy to see him

- Their first kiss is a dare, and Coryo wont back down

- Sejanus kisses Coryo after a party, when they’re both mildy drunk and confused. Sejanus forgets it, but Coryo never does.

Then from there, I’ll examine each little start and see what I like best. In this scenario, I really like the last one (shoot now I’ll have to turn that into a fic lolol) so my next step would be to outline the plot. When does the party take place? How long does Coryo hold the knowledge in? Does he ever tell Sejanus?

And most importantly- how do I want the story to end? With them together? With Sejanus hanging? With the start of the 10th hunger games?

- One final method I do is daydreaming. I’ll put on a playlist inspired by the pairing and see where it takes me (thoughts of you consume was actually inspired by 2 songs- War of Hearts, and Howl by Florence + the machine). I’ll let my mind make whatever connections it wants to make, and I’ll jot down ideas as they come!

Sorry for the overly complex answer- I guess at the end of the day, I really have no tried and true method. It all depends on how inspired I am.

But I hope one of these methods can be useful to you!! The biggest thing I think is to not be afraid of writing stuff that you may end up discarding. If a connection doesn’t work, if a plot point doesn’t fit- it’s ok to scrap it!! It sucks to lose time, but if it doesn’t fit, it doesn’t fit.

I’d definitely recommend that you write out all the ways that Snowjanus connects to the historical elements that you said! Determine if you want to write some sort of crossover set in old times, or if you want to bring historical figure’s personality traits onto the characters of Sejanus and Coriolanus.

So yeah! I hope this helps, and feel free to reach out with any other questions!!! Sorry, my brain is quite a mess lol, but best of luck to you!!

[calcedon79]

23, 27, and 30 for the fun writer questions please <3 :D

Thanks Jess, that was fun 😊

23 pick three keywords that describe your writing - sometimes too complicated okay, that's three words alone, but never mind. Very often I write about twenty-five detours to get to a point that could have been reached more easily. - detailverliebt (In love with detail) Yes, most writing guides say you shouldn't write too much about things that have no relevance to the plot. Maybe so, but it's just sooo much fun to incorporate all the world-building theories we discuss so often here into stories and talk about them. Whether they are essential or not. - Satzmonster (Sentence monsters) German not only allows very long copositives but also very convoluted sentence structures. I often have to separate and rephrase them when translating so that they make sense in English. That's why you'll find my sentence monsters mainly in the original stories.

27 your favorite part of the writing process Actually, every part has its charm, but I think my favorite part is the part where I just write down ideas in bullet points without giving much thought to a specific goal. Sometimes these bullet points spill out into whole scenes or conversations, sometimes it's just a short description. Another part is the point at which a chapter is finished, you sit back contentedly and then sleep on it for a night. And then get out the big scissors and trim it all up a bit and make it pretty.

30 share a fic you're especially proud of Hmm, difficult… I think that would be "A Sea Voyage". I wrote this story for twelve years and kept giving up on it. I never thought I'd actually finish it one day. So many hours of research went into it, no one believes it. There's a folder on my desk full of sketches of individual scenes, maps, blueprints of sailing ships, nautical charts, nautical calculations, climate tables from the 18th century, … (And come to think of it, the folder for the butterfly universe is currently taking on similar proportions…)

[astrobei]

Been binge-reading your stuff for about a week. Absolutely wonderful. Heartwarming. Love it. Can’t wait for the final chapter of a body in motion.

As a fellow writer, kind of, in other mediums, sometimes: are you more of a pantser or more of an outliner? What does your process look like, if you feel like sharing? Have a great day!

hi omg i’m sooo so so glad you’ve been enjoying my writing recently !! and that is such an excellent question let me try to answer this in a somewhat coherent way LOL

i don’t really have much of a Process in a more structured sense of the term because honestly. up until i started chapter 2 of abim i had never outlined anything before and my fics would kind of just be a stream of consciousness where i figured out what the next scene was going to be as i wrote. with abim chapter 2, i did make the most barebones outline (like 10 bullet points w 10-15 words each) just listing the scenes because it’s a bit of a heavier fic and i wanted to keep things as cohesive as possible !! (it was also the first fic where i’ve ever jumped around and written scenes out of order which is normally very hard for me to do so this helped me keep track of that) i know some writers live and die by their outlines and honestly i’m starting to get the appeal, at least for fics i know are going to be more plot heavy or chaptered, just for continuity, but for plotless fluff-centric fics, i haven’t ever and don’t really see myself making them !!

one thing that is a common denominator between all my fics though, outline or otherwise, is that they’re all built upon one or two ideas for a scene that i kind of work backwards from. for example, in a body in motion, the last scene in chapter 2 was like. the first one that came to mind when i thought of the fic idea and i really did just work backwards from there !! sometimes it’ll be the kiss scene but more often than not it won’t be and i’ll put off the kiss until i physically cannot any longer LMAO but there’s usually one scene that the whole entire fic is based around and i feel like this is a pretty common thing as well but that’s where i get most of my ideas from!!

other than that uhhh usually my process is: start fic, write way way way way wayyy too much dialogue/banter, realize im not even halfway but i’m already at the word count i thought the whole fic would be, say fuck it and add more dialogue, finally write The Scene, fumble my way through a kiss, then say thank god i’m done and then edit and hit post before i can think about it too much. yeah.

thanks for asking !! i’m sure u did not intend to get a multi paragraph breakdown of Literally nothing of substance at all but. i love talking about writing and the process so thank u for indulging me !!! :^)

[non-un-topo]

💔👀🦅🎶🎢🥺 !!!

Apple, thank you love! <333

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

Oh boy, well I did a number with Dahlia back in the day. Haven't written angst quite like that in a while and I still feel the urge to write a happy kid fic as an apology. My brother spits blood. hurt in a different way, with all the Booker & Nicky brotherly feelings.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

Ohhh okie. I have greatly missed writing weird mysterious horror-themed fics but I get shy, so I've tried not to pull my punches this time and just have fun. I can tell you that it will take place in Iceland, in the early 17th century and will address a significant point in the lives of the guard---rather, who is left of it. It will be Nicky's pov (for reasons I cannot yet say other than it having something to do with centrality and steadfastness in the group dynamic---okay I just explained it lol), and I'm hoping to put more horror elements into this one too (Nicky + horror is my special tea). For this fic I'm really exploring liminal space, daylight horror (w the midnight sun), renewal, the sense of being adrift and the urge to keep everything and everyone together. So, uhh. Angst. I'll say one more thing just because: There is an inciting incident that occurs before the plot begins. It's what ends up convincing them to take a break from their search for Quynh and settle on solid ground. It's also why I'm writing it in Nicky's pov and why he has this pervasive sense of losing his footing, or being sent adrift. 👀👀

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

I outline like a beast. Usually I prefer to have the entire plot from start to finish outlined in bullet points before I start properly writing.

For my current wip I have three different documents and then the fic itself. Are the three documents comprehensible? Do they make sense? Are they more than just random philosophical thoughts and ideas and scattered research notes? Nah. But they get more organized with each new document lol. Sometimes, though, when the writing bug hits I just write a whole oneshot without planning too much.

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

I do!! I have very specific songs for very specific moods. Sometimes soundtracks, sometimes opera or classical music, sometimes like... weird medieval music. For my current wip I've been listening to three main songs that encapsulate the whole vibe of the fic: Your Bones by OMAM, Familiar by Agnes Obel, and Caesar by The Oh Hellos.

I tend to listen to the same artists over and over, or sort of atmospheric instrumental stuff. I found this yesterday and it's really gotten me in the writing spirit!

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

Honestly, Dying of the Light was a pretty insane experience, both in terms of writing and just its plot. I had thousands of words written, then scrapped almost all of it and re-wrote almost the whole thing in one sitting. I was up at 4am when I wrote the goat scene and I think I finished around 6. All its wild trippy moments come from the fact that I was literally losing my mind a bit at the time lol. Bad life circumstances, but it ended up being one of the fics I'm most proud of.

But in terms of plot only, I think Tangerine and Roc was kind of wild. It has a lot going on thematically and plot-wise, and has a longer word count.

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

I don't have a knack for fluff, but I think I might have a soft spot for that sort of casual, close and familiar family dynamic? Like I hadn't realized how many moments I'd written in which one of the queer quartet members is doing another one's hair until I read them all back lol.

Casual intimacy and platonic touches really get me in my feels. Specifically Andy's affection for any of the other characters (back of the neck touch my beloved). Dancing makes me feel insane, I love it and need to write more of it. Same with platonic cuddles. I definitely have a soft spot for pals sitting around a fire and drinking/dancing/laughing. Makes me feel alive <3 Like: Yes, that's family.

[justaloreaddict]

Thank you @sableglass for the tag!

I was humming "Getting To Know You" while reading here and then as I wrote.

Short Stories, Novels, Or Poems?

All of the above. I prefer more novel length stories, but sometimes I have only a few scenes or ideas to make a short story, and poetry is so much fun to make the word sounds and tempo echo the feelings in my head.

What genre do you prefer reading?

Fantasy Fiction, Sci-Fi, Space Opera, Historical Fiction…off the top of my head.

Are you a planner or write as I go person?

Write as I go. I might make a simple bullet plot point list to keep generally on-track, but if I have ideas for the future I just put them down near where they’d fit and then work towards fitting them in.

What music do you listen to while writing?

Whatever feels in-theme for either the story as a whole, a primary character who is around, or just the vibe of the scene regardless of any other factors. So I could be listening to dark dubstep while writing a fantasy scene, just because the vibes are good overbearing cosmic horror.

Favorite book/movies?

Okay, that’s a real can of worms. I will never not recommend the Dinotopia books, especially Journey to Chandara. I love the Leviathan series by Scott Westerfeld, and his Uglies series was also good. I love Wandering Star by Teri S. Wood, the first space opera I ever read and I think first book I ever shed tears over. The Last Dragon is another wonderful graphic novel, and so beautiful with the best story. Drifting Dragons, Kaiju No.8, Fullmetal Alchemist, Delicious in Dungeon, all good manga. I should stop here… Movie is Treasure Planet, followed by Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’hoole and Epic.

Any current WIPs?

Heh, yeah…all the titles are WIPs of varying attachment too.

Lay Your Weapons Down, Changelings and Scars, and CSD are my primary WIPs, and then V:TM v5 nonsense also gets added to here and there.

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you, what would be your standard outfit?

Jeans, work books, a flannel, and a furred hunter's cap with long flaps that cover the ears.

Create a character description of yourself:

A socially awkward beanpole who first seems mute until she suddenly says something. Then very loud and struggles to quiet down once comfortable.

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?

In what way? Like taking their personality or appearance copy-paste? No, I don’t. But some of the creative people I know have done intensive research and thought on things I never think about so I absolutely use their ideas when mine fail and it makes sense.

Are you kill happy with your characters?

No. I don’t like killing off any of my characters. Even if it is plot-important, I feel a bit bad.

Coffee or Tea while writing?

Tea, but only because it’s harder to make coffee that I like at home than tea.

Slow or fast writer?

Middling? When I’m going at it it is a flurry of words. When I’m not feeling it, takes ages.

Where/who/what do you draw inspiration from?

All over the place. Authors I like, manga/books/graphic novels I enjoy, my surroundings, aesthetics, music I listen to, concepts I stumble across once, shower thoughts, just about anything really.

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?

I would be an unexpected magical healer. Maybe a bit of a trickster too, but true to my word and fiercely loyal. I’d claim to be a cleric, but it’d be hard to pin down my deity. There would be many rumors about me, but I’d ignore them all.

Most favorite cliche:

Shallow characters who are actually very insightful.

Least favorite cliche:

Only one bed, or anything romance related really. Even meet-cutes.

Favorite scene to write?

Scenes that I feel powerfully. Could be a character embracing their potential, someone comforting a friend, a character being deeply pained but pushing through. If I feel like I am right there with the character when I write and reread a scene then it is my favorite scene.

Reason for writing?

For fun, and to get the thoughts out of my head so I can focus on other things 😅

[cryptid-kay]

How I Write

BEHOLD another post about writing.

I actually had this idea a while ago, but wasn't sure exactly how to go about it. Still aren't so we're just gonna put it all here and hopefully it's readable.

So how I write.

The backstory [skip if you want]:

During my college years, I had a wonderful professor in my advanced comp class who introduced us to the idea that we all wrote differently. Not just in words, but in process. This idea was revolutionary. Why? Because I grew up with the whole "you must outline on paper your essay and write for me all the bullet points and I must SEE how you're going to logically make this make sense before you ever begin."

I hated it. Hated essays.

Then this random man who always wore bowties on Wednesdays and shamelessly pushed us to do our best, not to meet deadlines or grades, appeared in my life. Sorry, no, he wasn't the doctor, but bowties ARE still cool.

What I learned, however, is that every person has a different process. I specifically, for essays, draft in my head, sometimes I sticky note draft for multiple sources, and then I write it all down and revise. Some of my classmates would just write it down and revise over and over and over.

But this is all background, because what I want to talk about specifically is my process of novelling. I have lots of people ask me how I can churn out a 50-100K novel in about 1-2 months, and my goal with this post is to both answer that, and also to remind people that my process does not have to be your process. [end of backstory]

So this is how I write.

Conception of the Idea This is the part that I can't really attribute a process to. Inspiration and ideas come to me in various ways. Short stories are easiest because I can just take a trip into pinterest and find a few interesting images which inspire me to write, but for novels, the idea really needs to stick. I wish I could outline a process here as this is probably the part most authors struggle with, but unfortunately...I just listen to lots of music, read lots of books, and scroll pinterest a lot and sometimes I get an idea.

Planning/Plotting THIS however, this part I can begin to explain. So, I have an idea. It's a good one. I'm going to say this now: I do not usually know how my books are going to end when I start writing. I do not plot. Except I do. My process for planning is one of two: The first: I do not plan anything except preliminary details (i.e. MC's name, role in the story, who the major characters are, first point of conflict). Once I have these I will write a scene and then another scene and I let the character's drive the story. This works well when I'm embarking on a really large project that I want to explore but am not 100% sure I can commit to, and for original fiction this is usually the route I go to discover if an idea will stick. The second: This is a process I tend to use for "stuck" ideas or more fleshed out ones. I also use this during rewriting and would like to use it more during my real writing and I find it eases some of the pitfalls of the more pantser method I had been using. In this second method I will begin with my stakes, my characters, and their motivations. Decide who wants what and what stands in the way of it. This is best done after fleshing out my characters, but can be applied to characters I haven't fully explored as it grants a starting point. Once I've nailed down the stakes, I figure out first how my MC is going to react, then how this is going to get them into trouble. Basically creating for myself a method of raising the stakes through the story. Subplots often crop up here, and sometimes parallel stories. After I finish all of this planning, this is where I start the writing. 3. Drafting Alright, this is where the process gets funnn. This is where we start writing. My process here is pretty simple. I will take a day or two to plan out a chapter in my head. Then I put it on paper. Sometimes it comes out different, but usually as long as I adhere to the major beats of the story, everything is fine. This also helps me break up my stories into chapters that flow into one another. I almost always leave off a chapter either after a major event, in the middle of one, or setting up for one. I treat them like mini short stories of about 2-3K with something important happening in each, even if it's importance isn't clear until the end of the story. I write linearly, so that means start to finish, but by planning out and then writing, I can usually complete a chapter in a writing session. (I plan to write about an hour on my writing days). I admit I do not write daily. I find it burns me out, but I do swap between planning days and writing days, and if I get an idea, I'll write notes. This process is both the simplest, and takes the longest, usually around 30-60 days for about 50-100K. This is in part due to the speed of my writing (around 50-75 wpm), and the fact I plan so I have a clear vision of my chapters before I write them making the writing process faster for me. It also prevents me from burning out so I can write more in a condensed period of time. 4. Revising - Round One I found after rewriting Half Crown last year a new method of revision, which requires some tedium, but ultimately I enjoyed it and am working it into my process. It begins with, while the book is either being alpha read, or just sitting in my folders, I go through the whole book and make a spreadsheet. This spreadsheet is a chapter by chapter breakdown of scenes including: the summary of the scene, characters present, motives, and the major stakes. I also sometimes add notes for things I want to change. This scene breakdown for me was really useful because I could see an easy to read cohesive breakdown, and as a I was summarizing I could find area's to improve the impact of later scenes, current scenes, or spot inconsistencies I'd accidentally worked in. It also helped me keep motive solid thorughout

[breathplayed]

4, 6 & 8 💜

below cut to save dashboards!!

(4) what is the plot bunny you've been carrying the longest? ooouuuuhhh..... so many............ So many............ i have full fic outlines from 2017 LOL but the most viable one is a jikook au where they're both vampire hunters + jimin is Turned + jungkook swears to hunt him and be the one to kill him bc it's "what he would have wanted" some good ole lovers to enemies bullshit Once Again. every year since 2018 i've thought it'd be a fun three-part fic i could post for halloween and have never gotten around to it. lately i keep thinking it'd be good for an original novel (hello lesbians <3) but then i would have to actually worldbuild and write well which is daunting......... so back to the drawing board every time...... Maybe Some Day

(6) do you have any kind of consistent writing schedule or just hoping for the best? 💀 i always tell myself i will try to write a little bit every day, and there's been periods where that worked well enough for me, but tbh i write the best and most when i am daydreaming about a fic idea and get batshit possessed and fuel a Fixation. in those moments i am seized by insanity and sit down to write for about 4-6 hours straight in the dead of the night and manage several thousand words in one sitting. the record is 10k for DSD pt1 in like a day, and when i wrote the 90k fic that is WBIO in like 3 weeks off the high of not having any responsibilities in early lockdown (incl almost 20k in one sitting)

So kind of a mix.... When I have more free periods of the year i tell myself *trying* to stick to a schedule is good, like "ok i should go TRY to write at least a little every day, and if it doesn't work and im not feeling it today that's fine" but I can't lie, most of what I put out is the product of a feverish manic haze. Where i daydreamed too hard about a fic idea and accidentally came up with the whole plot and exact dialogue lines and need to bullet point it immediately before I forget it all. I am tormented by visions

(8) what’s your relationship with constructive criticism and feedback like? do you seek it out? how well do you take it? Constructive criticism: not exactly a fan unless I ask for it lol, just bc I think it's kinda rude to offer constructive criticism unless it's asked for? So I already automatically feel a lil cornered. I spent a year as an art major bringing paintings in for concrit sessions, I can take it, but that feels like a facilitated environment where I knew I was opening myself up to hear things so I could improve..... however, I'm not super interested in 'improving' writing beyond naturally improving by doing it.... bc it's just a hobby if that makes sense? I'm also usually super aware of how/where one of my fics is weak (example: i Know my worldbuilding and side characters and settings are not the most fleshed out, that I usually only focus on the main pairing/conflict and let everything else be a cardboard cutout, RIP) and just didn't put the work in to improve it bc I want to have Fun doing this hobby and struggling with fixing weaknesses is not super fun. Yes i am very lazy but it's ok it's fanfiction posted for free not something I'm trying to publish ukno. I'm a perfectionist in other ways! It balances out

Important to note I define constructive criticism as like "it would have been better if you did x instead" and a lot of times in fanfiction that's just people's personal tastes. I do consider everything readers say to me! Like someone said they didn't think the side characters served any point in "folie à trois" and it's just me inserting my faves, I Considered that opinion. There's been times I consider feedback and changed how I continued in a story, like in TLG people said they wanted more Jimin pov/motives and I said hmmm yeah that's valid I'll do more of that. In the aforementioned case for Folie, I considered it and decided (1) no, they're there for jk to see that Everyone is a lil fucked up and (2) it's my fic i can put my kpop girlies in it if i want lol. So sometimes 'concrit' is really just someone saying 'what you wrote wasn't to my personal taste' and not actually anything to do with the quality of the story/plot/style whatever itself.

Feedback overall tho, I do always want to hear from readers!!??! How a story made them feel especially. Tbh , TLDR, I think it really depends on the tone.... My relationship to it is on a case by case basis..... like I'm fine hearing that a character/plot frustrated someone, that they disagree with a character's actions, etc.... because that's Conflict in the story and I think good writing makes the reader Feel something..... it really just depends on what is being offered? if something is obviously mean spirited (which I have gotten) or offering concrit without asking like telling me "btw this would have read better if you didn't write like a possessed failed poet" i'm like ok well i have no plans on improving that. I am down to clarify any points of confusion on a scene/character/etc but I will not be improving. Lol

I hope that makes sense sorry I rambled as always. I took one of my adhd meds for the first time in weeks and now I am tachycardic and overexplaining myself worse than usual. Thank u for the ask <3

[milfbro]

at first my baseless conspiracy theory was that his secretary/mistress wrote the Pontius Pilate sections and he wrote the rest and wrote her in there as Margarita, as a replacement for actual credit in writing the book (because you know that's happened so many times in history)

But what I think is more likely rn is he wrote the Pontius Pilate sections first, and being a good writer those sections he actually worked hard on are legitimate bangers, then he got an assistant to flesh out the bullet points of plot he wrote out for the rest of the story. Because the voice is too different, it's either a whole other writer or he just gave all the way up. I choose to believe it was an assistant actually trying to do well.

This makes more sense with how writer workshops usually functioned in the early 20th century, like, the expectation of pure ivory tower genius was there sure but the writers were actually Brands and did more collective work than they do nowadays where we expect writers to be loners slaving away at their keyboards by and for themselves.

So that's it that's my more fleshed out theory of why the book is Like That. And also why if I was a publisher in the early 20th century I would not have published his book and it has nothing to do with censorship, it's just a very contradictory and messy book. I would fist fight Stalin himself to publish the Pontius Pilate sections tho

I just need to know which woman did uncredited work to write Master and Margarita because you cannot convince me Bulgakov wrote the whole book himself

[thesoundofmadness]

I'm the anon who asked abt the Randyverse. I actually meant all of the Randy aus you have interacting with each other. Reading the ones you already have are so fun, and I feel like there should be more heh

Tumblr is being stupid and isn't letting me seperate the bullet points. OH SORRY I WAS CONFUSED WHKSJFBKJFB I HAVE A BUNCH OF HCS FOR THIS I don't really know of a genuine plot tho like the only thing I have for an actual plot is just. viceory builds an alternate universe thing and randy/howard fall through it and go through a bunch of aus while back in their og universe the sorcerer escapes. the 3 main aus i got is the og universe, the teacher randy au and band au tbh. Oh shit in the last ask i forgot about the immortal randy au jkghfdjkg. Anyway here's some bs

--

The nomicon (doesn't matter the au) has NO fuckin clue what's going on. It can't grasp the whole alternate universe thing at ALL. Guide Randy steps in it's place tho

OG Randy like, immediately assumes Guide Randy is evil. OG Randy: Oh don't tell me you're another McFist scheme like Lucious O'Thunderpunch. Guide Randy: *shocked gasp* Excuse me. How dare you compare me to him!

OG Randy also says Guide Randy might go crazy "like Mac Antfee", and Guide Randy just laughs and says "Mac Antfee WISHES he was me."

The og/swap randy and howard use their slang and guide Randy/Howard are just like "please. please just say fuck you can say fuck". That day OG Howard learned his parents were lying about cursing being illegal till you're 18.

I imagine since like, the alternate universes are colliding so they can get SOME access to other alternate universes before they actually visit it. They can also somewhat share thoughts and feelings between their alternate counterparts. (Like if OG Randy gets sick, Guide/Band Randy will feel it too and vice versa)

So like, before they can meet their band au counterparts, RESENTMENTS fully releases. OG/Swap Randy and Howard can't really understand it, but Guide Randy and Howard IMMEDIATELY clues into it being about the ninja. They have a lil debate about the possiblity of band randy not mind wiping, then "i hate books lol" (a song howard wrote about the nomicon and the stress of his trauma) comes on and Guide Howard is just ".....oh fuck."

they get to the band au, and band randy is kinda. forced into like getting the mind wipe undone and he. does not take it well. He end's up like, spending a few days in a hotel to process it bc he doesn't want to have a huge argument with Howard about it.

OG Randy probably assumes band Howard is evil but band howard is just like "why the hell would i want to reveal the ninja secrets? i may be a dumbass but i'm not a fucking idiot."

Band Levander is just there tbh. They can't really avoid not getting him involved in the alternate universe shenanigans bc the band bros all live together. but he's chill about it and just there for emotional support.

Levander is very surprised by Randy being the ninja and the whole 4 year cycle thing, but then he's like "holy shit that makes so much sense actually."

the band bros probably have the og/swap bros help set up for a music video recording. they have like at least $50K worth of camera and audio equipment. Band randy is like "....In the nicest way possible, if you break ANY of this, i'm disowning you :)"

I hc that the art of the disguise can also change your voice by like, altering your vocal cords for a bit. When Guide Randy says this Band Randy (who does A LOT of voice training) is fucking APPALLED.

Band Howard: one time you shot me into space. on my 15th birthday. that was fun Band Lavender: Randy did what Guide: oh yeah i remember that. I... was not the smartest person in 9th grade. Band Randy: I did WHAT? I thought that was just some weird dream! OG Randy:.... in my defense, it was an accident Band Lavender: what the FUCK do you mean you shot Howard into space by ACCIDENT.

OG Howard asks Band Randy (who does all the art/video/design work for 30STM) about how his work is going and Band Randy starts ranting about color theory for like 15 minutes

yeah that's all i got lmao uts 2 am

[pens-swords-stuff]

hi! i'm here to talk co-writing! my writing buddy and i actually still haven't started our wip yet bc... neither of us have had many spoons for writing. we've kind of figured that it would be cute to do a epistolary-type adventure where we write mostly in journal entries. we've each chosen two characters to follow through the plot we've concocted.

so anyway! i tried to find your posts on cowriting bc i KNOW i've read them before and i couldn't. but how did you guys figure out what worked in terms of both writing the same wip at the same time?

<3, june

You can find all of the posts I've made about it at #cowriting. Granted, there's not a whole lot there yet, and most of the questions I've received about it so far have been pretty similar. That being said, I'm definitely planning on adding more at some point!

In terms of figuring out what worked and what didn't work, I think it's honestly just a matter of throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks. You don't actually know what will work and what won't work for you and your partner until you actually try it.

And when something works, I think you'll know. It's when something clicks, when the writing begins to flow really naturally, when you start to get really excited about the actually writing part, when you take a moment to pause and say 'wow, I think this is working'. And if it really is working for the both of you, your partner will agree! They'll feel it too.

For me and my partner, the transition into figuring out what worked for us was pretty natural. We met on a play-by-post roleplaying forum and we'd already written together in some sort of capacity for years by the point we made our partnership official. We've experimented a lot with how we write since then (and we continue to experiment to this day!), but for us, we've found that sticking with the 'roleplay' style of co-writing is what works best for us. We value character interaction above everything else, so us bouncing off each other's characters and having them interact back-and-forth is where we shine and what we love to do.

But of course, there's other ways to co-write too! My partner and I don't share characters generally — I write for the characters that I created, and I never write for my partner's — but some people do share characters. Some people just write a section of the story and pass it onto the other person in a round robin-eseque fashion. Some people might sit down together and figure out how to write every single sentence together. One technique that my partner and I tried a few was making a very detailed bullet point outline where we wrote everything that happened, and wrote everything that our individual characters said and did, then one person wrote it out in one narrative.

My best advice in figuring out what works for you is experiment and communicate! Talk about what co-writing means to you and your partner, and have a conversation about what seems to make the most sense. What do you think co-writing is? What comes to mind when you think about co-writing? What makes sense in terms of the division of labor? What are your strengths as a writer? What are your weaknesses? How do you two incorporate your strengths and cover for each other's weaknesses? What's your writing style, and what's their writing style? Are you a pantser/plantser/plotter? How are you going to plan what happens? Are you more of a descriptive writer, or are you more of an action writer? There are a lot of things at play when you do collaborations with another writer. You don't necessarily have to talk about everything or even figure out everything at the start. Some of these things, you discover as you go through your co-writing relationship and journey. But you do need to pay attention to everything that's happening and discuss it as you go.

And then experiment. Try a technique, and be very communicative while you do it. Does it feel right? Does it feel awkward? What's working? What's not working? What are you struggling with? What part did you like the most? What didn't you like? How would you make it better? It's so incredibly important to be open and honest during this. If you're being too nice and you're saying something seems great when it's not, you're never going to find the real system that works for the both of you.

I actually think that an epistolary format is a fantastic choice for a first-time co-writing project. And I'd even argue that the epistolary project that I did with my partner was the magical moment where we really clicked, and made the leap from roleplayers to co-writers. The way we did it was writing letters back and forth as our characters. Obviously you don't have to do it in a roleplay-style like we did, but I do think that epistolary formats are a really good way to dip your toes into the water, because there's less pressure to maintain solid narrative and prose. It gives you the interaction and the experience of co-writing with someone without actually having to worry about scenes, you know? I've found that it's a lot less frustrating way to figure out how to vibe together.

So talk to each other a lot! If this co-writing thing is going to work, you two are most likely going to become very close. Talk about everything that excites you about this project, and brainstorm ways to tackle it. And then try it. If it doesn't work, move onto the next! But once you find something that is really extremely fun, stick with it. When both of you are having fun with something, it'll be obvious in not just yourselves, but also your writing. And that's the magical method that works for the two of you.

Remember, all advice is subjective! So don’t take this too seriously. This is just one person’s opinion.

If you’d like to ask me for advice on writing or running a writeblr, please check out my Ask Guidelines and FAQ first.

Ask Guidelines | FAQ | Advice Masterlist

[avrablake]

#showyourprocess

Thanks for the tag @emelkae

Rules: When your work is tagged, show the process of its creation from planning to posting, then tag 5 people. Use the tag #showyourprocess so we can find yours!

Beyond the Darkness

1) Inspiration:

I wrote a lot of fan fiction in high school and college, but then I didn’t write for a long time—over 10 years. I was going through a pretty low period when I happened to have a conversation with a friend about the fact that I kind of wanted to get back into writing but didn’t think I had good ideas to write any actual novel. They encouraged me not to stress about writing something good or to think about what other people might like. To just pick something that sounded fun and try to write at least a little bit every day.

I dusted off an old fanfic idea. I had a few OCs and a few scenes but no real plot. I just started writing. It was more a collection of character interactions than a story, but I started to see the characters evolving beyond their source material and decided it was time to try to turn them into their own people.

2) Preparation

I’ll be the first to admit that plot and world building are not my strong points. I spent a lot of time just developing my characters and writing some scenes from writing prompts. But I still had no real plot. I had a cast of characters I loved and an idea of what I wanted their arcs to look like. I had a few scenes from my 30k fanfic I wanted to transfer over, and I had a bulleted list of things I would like to see happen. And a very rough magic system. At that point it was almost November. I had always wanted to do NaNoWriMo so I decided to give it a try. The point of NaNo is to take random ideas, put them in a bag and shake them up to see what comes out, right?

3) Art Process

I wrote 50k words of Beyond the Darkness for Nano 2020 (my first time ever yay) and finished up my first draft a few months later. It was around 80k and it was a complete mess. I was making up plot as I went along and not editing as I wrote. I changed my mind pretty frequently and took the story in a different direction multiple times. I took about a month off from writing after finishing that first draft then dove into tackling my mess. I read through the whole draft and made a bunch of notes. My goal with my second draft was just to fix all those continuity issues and try to get the plot to make some sense. It was still pretty rough and still had a lot of issues, but I had the plot pretty much worked out at that point. I still had some [this goes here] scenes but that 2nd draft was still around 110k. 

I have since restructured the story to cut about a quarter of the book. I’ve also added a lot of new scenes that I think deepen the characters interactions and also help some of their actions make more sense. 

4) Thoughts

I still have a lot of work to do but I’m happy with the progress I am making. This project got me through a low point and got me through the last two years. I love it. I love my OCs. I hope someday I can share it. I have had a lot of really amazing support from people in real life and here on tumblr and I appreciate it immensely.

Tagging (no pressure): @diphthongsfordays @ashen-crest @author-a-holmes @kaiusvnoir @zonnemaagd plus Open Tag for anyone who wants it

[couchpotatoaniki]

Idol!ATEEZ: Their s/o secretly writes fanfics pt.2

A/N: This was a request from someone who wanted to read their reactions to dirty fanfics *wiggles brows* but cba coming up with more backstories, so this’ll be a continuation of the first reaction

Tag list: @lovelyrose014-blog​ sorry this took so long :((

WARNINGS: swearing, mature content, heavily suggestive

Part One

Kim Hongjoong:

Hongjoong made no effort to hide that he read your stories. It was as he promised; the first time he read them was not the last.

He’d been filling up his rare breaks with your works, powerful words contrasting your timid nature and no matter how many times he indulged himself in your crazy mind, Hongjoong never ceased to be amazed.

You had more sides to you than he ever could imagined.

Although, there was one thing he put off for quite some time now, and that would be reading your more popular fanfics. The fan favourites. After all, being the leader, he should know what his fans like, and as your boyfriend he should know what you crave.

Hongjoong was a smart guy despite the goofy act he put on--very similar to your intelligence and geeky-yet-quiet nature. He knew that you wanted to keep him away from the dark side of your account, not wanting to scare him away (which he would never let happen). Hence why he hadn’t gone on it since he wanted to respect your wishes to some extent.

Until now.

Hongjoong swears it was curiosity, nothing more, but deep down he knew. He still needed to see that side of you, the side you deem acceptable for a whole world of strangers to see but not him.

Drove him mad.

But he was still in denial as he chanted in his head that this was only for research purposes. Bullshit.

Late at night, when pretty much everyone had gone home and he still had some work left to do, Hongjoong decided to take a well-deserved break, lying on his sofa as he scrolled through his phone.

He was doing what he had planned--he was finally doing it and nothing made the adrenaline rush faster through his veins. He clicked on the one which had the most reads, the one that was the most popular among anything you wrote, and from the title, it appeared innocent enough.

Maybe this wasn’t the one...

Then again, you were adamant that he never read it.

“Never hurt to try...” Hongjoong mumbled, despite being the only one in the sound-proof room. He clicked on it, anticipation making him restless.

Long chapter, as usual, and everything started out fine enough. No sign of anything, nothing suggestive at all.

What was the big deal about?

The next few chapters were of a similar feel. Sweet, gentle, fluffy. But he couldn’t put his phone down, something about this story had him...unsettled. It was nothing like your usually ones--with sadistic characters and an intricate plotline.

No. This had him slightly confused. It felt too kind.

Then he carried on. And then he realised.

That was exactly your intention.

The filter you had put over the first few chapters was slowly startling to peel away, into something more twisted.

Hongjoong buzzed off this, knowing exactly that the earlier chapters were a trap, a false sense of security. How you managed to poison every reader slowly, like your words were mercury.

By the time he got to the first smut chapter in the series, he was already consumed, work forgotten . Every word felt like it sucked out a part of his soul, and the heavy themes in the scenes had him in an uncomfortable situation of rather tight jeans.

Right now, all Hongjoong wanted was you. He needed you. To do all those things you wrote, to be there with him and feel the things he was feeling.

Luckily, you were always awake at this time of night.

Just a phone call away.

Park Seonghwa:

Although he loved your shower time, there was one habit that Seonghwa didn’t like and that was you leaving your notebooks everywhere. It made his daily cleaning harder than it should’ve been.

Never did he look through them, caring too much about not invading your privacy (save for a few months ago where he accidently found out about your fanfic account on AO3). But today was a stressful day already.

All he wanted right now was to lie down with you and watch some cheesy romcoms, accompanied by some snacks. Hongjoong, ever the perfectionist, was under more stress than usual and that meant all the other members were too.

Seonghwa was the nurturing mother, and even he felt like he lacked the energy to be as such with the way things were going right now--a comeback just around the corner.

So, yes, the tall boy was quite peeved today. He needed his charger. He needed you. But you were taking your damn time in the shower and he had to pick up all your damn notebooks from the most random places.

What even was it about these notebooks that you had to buy--or try to buy--a new one every time you entered a shop? Seonghwa never understood your love for them as he had only linked the devilish little thing to his work, where Hongjoong would be composing or writing lyrics.

The last thing he needed right now was something to remind him of his job.

The stress continued to build as this argumentative thoughts accumulated in his head, causing him to drop the hardback in his hands. “Fuck’s sake,” he growled, too pissed off at the moment to notice that your book had oh-so-conveniently opened up.

When he did, however, his fiery anger cooled down at the page, which had a few words on it. Luckily for him, your handwriting was fairly neat (unlike your normal habits) so he could read your little notes.

Phrases, sentences, ideas, the plot line in general, that’s what he got from a first glance. Maybe he could have a peek, seeing as though he was exerting a lot of energy recently.

The words, the plot, everything on that page was something he did not expect. It was smut.

Surely his innocent sweetheart wouldn’t be writing those, right? He gave you the benefit of the doubt when he found out about your fanfics. But you were a sweet girl, and he had always thought you mind was as pure as your heart was.

Then again, no one’s heart is truly pure, and it wasn’t the first time you had been tainted by him.

His eyes scanned your words, finding that it was somewhat vanilla and gentle.

A sigh escaped past his lips when he found that you were still his soft-hearted princess.

Then he noticed it was an old entry. Flicked through the pages and saw that the smut scenes progressively got more frequent and dabbled a little more in the dark side of things. 

His heart plummeted. Not just because your innocence was slowly peeling away, but because he too found himself getting a little interested by it. Especially one of the last entries of that notebook, where he found himself blushing hard enough to turn his normal skin to resemble that of rubies.

Yet, he couldn’t stop.

That was until he heard your voice yelling, "Seonghwa!"

Eyes like those caught in headlights, his large hands shut the book with lightning speed. But you had already caught him snooping.

"What are you doing with my notebooks?" You cheeks a dusty rouge from both the hot water and embarrassment, you snatched away the book from his hands.

"N-Nothing! It fell and opened up and I just..." He sighed, afraid that he'd already broken your trust. "I'm really sorry..."

Exhaling softly when you saw Seonghwa looking like some sort of scolded puppy, you reached on your tiptoes to ruffle his hair. Calms him down a little.

“What,” you cleared your throat to rid your voice of fear, “what did you read?”

Now how was he going to play this? Was he going to lie and say it was only one page, or would he say that he had a peruse through the whole thing? As you had caught him already, it would not be a bad idea to tell the truth. “Um...bits and bobs. Just skipped through, really. I’m sorry.”

Smiling softly, albeit a little awkwardly, you patted his shoulder comfortingly. “It’s fine, I just... didn’t... expect you to... find out this way.”

He chuckled nervously. “Well, I’ve know for about two weeks now, about your... writing.”

“What?!”

Jeong Yunho:

One problem that you have, is that now Yunho knew you wrote fanfics, you became sloppy with hiding it. Not like there was a real need to because--as mentioned--he knew about it. How you loved to write thrillers and suspense and all there strange wacky things you’d find on a documentary about dangerous people.

Though that didn’t mean you never wrote other things as well.

Your works were obviously for a certain age and above (not like the warnings you put matter because the underage ones read it anyway), so writing the occasional smut was normal for you.

In fact, you were comfortable with it. Your personal experience with Yunho, combined with the ones you read online, all fuelled your creativity. Unfortunately, now that you became more open, Yunho had more opportunities to read what you wrote.

Not like it mattered much, you thought, because the words in your google docs were pretty much ineligible from the phrases only you could decode.

Sadly, when it came to smuts (what you wanted in them and what you didn’t), there wasn’t really a way to hide what you were talking about.

So when your tall and rather innocent boyfriend took a sneak peak at your latest entry, he was smacked in the face with the bullet points on there:

Fake dating AU

Cunnilingus

Blindfolds

Size kink

Hand kink

Sir kink

Power play

Complacent sub

(Because for some goddamn reason, every Yunho smut I’ve seen had either a hand kink or size kink...not that I’m complaining tho--)

Was this the stuff you were into? Because he certainly never never knew it. Your sex life with him had been somewhat vanilla due to the fact it only recently started and both of you were still a little too shy to branch out and dabble in other things yet.

His only thoughts until he next saw you were about this. If you were channelling your frustrations into your writing, then he could help you, right? After all, he wasn’t against trying this stuff out. It was a learning experience he was willing to go through. For you.

So when you came back from work, he sat you down on the bed, very nervous with his large hands engulfing your own. Concern would be a drastic understatement.

“Y/N?” You hummed in reply, now thoroughly scared. “I just wanted to let you know... that I’m not afraid of...expanding our experiences and neither should you be.”

Your heart dropped into the abyss of your stomach. “Y-Yunho, are you breaking up with me?”

“Wait, what?” The confusion of this situation seemed rather familiar. “No, that’s not what I’m saying. I just...” he bit his lip, still quite shy. He really didn’t know how to say this outright.

So he showed you instead.

As your eyes fell on the document of your plan for the next smut scene you had to write, your face dropped. Horror was evident in every part of your expression and he could see that.

“Yunho, I--”

“Look, there’s nothing wrong with you wanting to try some of this,” he said, before bashfully looking out the same window you had when you had been discovered. “Besides... I wouldn’t object.”

Now that the both of your faces were redder than roses, the air had become slightly more...still and heavy.

“Listen, Yunho, just so you know, I don’t often write my own preferences. But I suppose trying new things is a bad idea...”

Kang Yeosang:

Almost a year had passed since your boyfriend had found out about your writing (through your clumsy cousin, no less) and you were careful as to what you showed him.

He often helped you through tough times like writer’s block, and understood your strange little habits. Even threw you an idea once in while whenever you were struggling to think of something or even took you out--restaurants, landmarks, whatever would help.

Yeosang was looking after you.

But now? Now, he pampered you.

That had you lowering your guard. He was being so kind, so why not let him read more?

Here’s ‘why not’:

Because he kept pushing his limits. Yeosang and you never had done anything, despite the fact that both of you were living together--by your request, since you had been in quite a few bad relationships where sex was a major factor. So, for the past two years, Yeosang had been alone in his endeavours.

All his intention was to find out what you were into. That was it, he swears. Thought it might at least curb the growing need to have you begging under him--or above him--just have a small glimpse as to what was in store. Maybe even have them as company when he really needed you.

Mission Impossible, is what this felt like, buttering you up, making you feel safe and comfortable (this came naturally since he always wanted you to feel this way with him, horny or not). You were like a fortress, always giving him more but not the stuff that he needed.

So he tried the same tactic he used to get you confess.

Truth or Dare (alone, obviously).

“Seriously? Last time we did it like this, you found out my rather embarrassing secret.”

“Just answer,” he pushed, watching you carefully as you climbed into bed next to him.

“Okay... truth,” you mumbled as you buried your body between his arm and chest.

“How about ‘dare’ this time?”

Your lips released a tired chuckled. “That’s not how this works, Yeosang...” But after a long few minutes of silence, you caved into his request. “Okay, fine. Dare,” you grumbled after saying something along the lines of, “if you wanted me to do something, then just ask.”

His lips brushed against the lobe of your ear, sending electric shocks down your spine. “I dare you to send me one of your smut fics.”

‘Surprised’ wasn’t really the word you would use to describe the immense shock that hit you like a train. “No.”

“Can’t go back on a dare.”

“But that’s even more embarrassing than having you read my normal fanfics...”

“No, it isn’t. Not to me, at least.”

“Yeosang,” you whined but as it became more and more clear that he would not give up as time passed on, you caved once more. Hesitant, you pulled out your phone to scroll through your works. What was the best one to send to him, you had no idea. “Can I at least ask why?”

“Because I want to get to know you more. All of you...” That one sentence had you more excited than you’d be willing to admit.

After all, it wasn’t just Yeosang who felt alone at nights (and sometimes days) for the past two years. Arguably, it was harder for you since you used to be very...active. Hence why you had such a selection to choose from right now--it was your outlet.

Perhaps it would be best to let him see the one that had you more bothered than anything after writing it--since he wanted to get to know that side of you as well.

Finally making a decision, you handed over your phone with bated breath. What would he think? Would he be weirded out? Would he not be into any of it?

For the boy, however, it was a completely different story; he was too into it. The more he read on, the worse his boner got until he looked physically uncomfortable.

Immediately seeing the discomfort on his face, it was as if your worries became reality. Hand reached out to snatch the phone from his hand but his reflexes were much quicker than yours, pulling the slab away as he kept on reading.

By the time he finished, his breathing was heavy and ragged.

This, sadly, had only made his situation worse. Only purpose this served was to make him crave you even more. Certainly didn’t help to have you leaning over him, soft, bra-less chest beneath thin, stretchy cotton of your shirt against his bare arm, trying to see if he was alright. Definitely had you concerned seeing his pained self.

“Are you okay?”

“Not really,” he humourlessly chuckled, “didn’t know it would affect me as much as it had...”

For some reason, you leaned further down and kissed him. Whether it was because of seeing his hooded eyes or feeling the tension in his muscles as he restrained himself against your body, you didn’t care. Relief was the first thing you felt, knowing that he was just as frustrated as you when you wrote it.

No, he was worse. You could tell by the feverish movement of his mouth against yours. You could tell by the harsh grip he had on your waist. You could tell by the stiffness poking your thigh.

Yeosang pulled away with as much willpower as he could muster, while your lips chased after his. “N-No, we can’t, remember?”

Huffing, you were thoroughly pissed off at the promise you made two years ago with him when you first started out dating. “Yeosang, look at me.”

His gaze was even more reluctant, knowing very well that it would be much more difficult to have the eyes he loved so much staring back at him with as much lust as he had clouding them. But he listened.

“That promise was there so I could get to know you and see if I want to commit to this relationship, long-term, and we’ve had two years to think it--which is long enough for me.” Each hand cupped his cheeks, pulling him closer for a peck since you couldn’t handle being that touch starved anymore. “So, screw me.”

Yeosang didn’t need to be told twice.

Choi San:

It had been a little over a month and San had still not dropped his admiration. Didn’t look as if that was going to change anytime soon either, especially with one of your recent updates.

Your current story had a lot of pent up sexual tension and all your readers (your boyfriend being no exception) were at the point of begging in the notes of each update.

Finally, you decided to take mercy on all the poor folks and finally write that one scene which had them crying with gratefulness at the end.

As it was a long-awaited scene, it had to live up to high expectations. While you could do the most tooth-rotting fluff ever, that wasn’t your style. This scene needed to fit the vibe of your series so the whole bit flowed nicely.

The problem was, everything you wrote was ‘too much’. Too much fluff. Too much kink. Too much basicness. Too much weirdness. Too much awkwardness. Too much cringiness.

Unfortunately, this put you in a bit of a pickle and you were close to losing your damn mind. On the other hand, San--the caring lover he was--had noticed. Wanted to do something nice for you, not just because he could clearly tell it was a bad case of writer’s block and he wanted to you to write more things he could read, but because it hurt him a little inside to see you this frustrated.

Requested a day of, which he got considering how hard he had been working, an spent that day as your personal servant. First up was breakfast in bed--fried egg (sunny side up), beans, buttered toast, hash browns and a tall glass of cold, hand-squeezed orange juice. Not to mention a shirtless San in plaid cotton pants, the only coverage his torso receiving was the pink apron he had on.

Kissed you on the forehead and told you to take your time, then get ready or a day out while he made lunch.

The next two meals went by in a similar fashion, where he had put so much love and care for everything to be perfect for you. Your favourite sandwich and a fruit salad, water and a chocolate chip cookie before a walk in the park where you both fed the ducks in one of the nearby lakes.

Later was dinner--arguably the best one out of them all. Steak with roast potatoes, and steamed vegetables (much to San’s dislike, but he withstood it for you). The day’s activity had you more than tired, cheeks aching slightly from smiling too much. Then again, you didn’t even notice because all you could think about was how lucky you were to land yourself such an amazing boyfriend.

Even after dinner, he continued to treat you like the royalty you were in his eyes. Offered a nice massage to relieve the past week’s tension all pent up in your poor muscles. It was innocent enough...

Until it wasn’t any more.

Despite the cloths thrown about everywhere on the bed, neither of you had motioned to clean up and San had instead opted to run you a bubble bath. Scented candles and all. It was more relaxing than you had imagined it to be, and by the time your face rested on San’s now-clothed torso--both of you wrapped snuggly up--you fell asleep.

The man loved the sight, and for once, he actually enjoyed running after you, making sure your every need was fulfilled whether you expressed it or not.

Because throughout the day, you were the happiest he had seen in a while, and all his efforts let up to this sight: you cuddled up close with that beautiful, enchanting smile faintly on your plush lips that he had so gently attacked not two hours ago.

He found himself loving you even more; a pleasant surprise as he had thought his cup was close to overflowing.

Two days later, he found himself falling even deeper when you had finally posted your latest chapter. San found himself grinning by the end of it--a little turned on, but more happy than anything.

Because San’s magic had worked. Cured your painful writer’s block since the words simply flowed as you typed the scene that had been causing you hell.

And whole chapter was awfully similar to that special day when San decided to take care of you.

Just tweaked a little so it would be more smut than it was fluff, adding just the right amount of sweetness that allowed your story to continue to flow perfectly.

Which was why San had been more joyous than usual the past week.

You were a perceptive person so you caught the change in his usual demeanour rather quickly. The source of it, however, was beyond you (he was good at hiding his knowledge of your secret). Any reason you tried to pin down on him was a little off.

Stress? No, he was too happy for that. Upcoming event? None that you knew of, and he shared everything of importance with you. Feeling happy just because? San was the more emotional out of the two of you and none of his moods lasted this long.

So what was it?

It was frustrating to say the least, but your boyfriend wasn’t letting it out. And you don’t think he ever will.

“Oh well,” you mumble, “can’t be that bad if he’s so happy...”

Song Mingi:

The boys had made a pact when they began to read your stories: no reading smuts with the group. This was fairly easy since they would normally be oneshots and you generally weren’t one to write them often into your series. On the odd occasion you did, you often put up a warning and explained straight after if there were any important bits.

All in all, very easy to avoid.

Mingi was a gigantic baby, and with babies, comes curiosity. A sense of need to know what’s happening. An insatiable thirst for knowledge and experience. Suppose what is trying to be said here is, is that Mingi wanted to read the explicit stuff you wrote.

What went on inside that wonderous brain of yours, he wanted to find out. But he couldn’t do that with the boys, nor did he want to. No chance in hell he was gonna be caught with an awkward boner.

Never would he live that one down.

So his plan commenced at night, when everyone in the dorms were fast asleep, he opened up his phone.

Now would normally come the dilemma of what to read, but Mingi is not that patient; as mentioned before, he is a giant baby. The first post he found that fit his criteria was the one that he read. Coincidently, that was result of your ‘experimental’ ones.

Using metallic things wasn’t something you had tried yet with Mingi, but you though you’d take it for a test run through your work to at least see it clearly how it would run if something like that was to happen. Sometimes, you found, it’s makes more sense to write it out rather to keep in your head.

On the other hand, Mingi didn’t really know that your writings stemmed from mild curiosity rather than what your really into (not that you would particularly mind trying some of it out). In his head, this was what you wanted to do.

He’d be lying if he said that the idea wasn’t much of a turn on, and the time he  spent trying not to make a sound loud enough to wake up the other members would prove that. To him, this is was your wish and he would gladly comply to it.

The next day, he decided to run along with the theme, but to also add in a few twists of his own. You often liked that, both in and out of the bedroom.

Went out to buy some new rings for you, larger ones decorated with pretty gems for his pretty baby (even though he was one himself). Handcuffs, too, were ordered online, and a silver-chain choker--he made sure to double check it was safe to use. Next up was a little metal ball--he got this idea from the pokey challenge and something called the ‘passion fruit kiss’ on snapchat. Either way, he was excited to try it.

Babies like Mingi, as mentioned, have little patience and so he wanted to try it out as soon as possible, so the moment everything came, he quickly sterilised everything and waited for you to come home.

Made sure each metal piece was cold to the touch by keeping it in the fridge, and had a rolled up black silk tie stuffed in his pocket to act as a makeshift blindfold.

Sensory deprivation was the ‘twist’ he wanted to put on, since you both had tried something similar before with ice cubes and that went quite well...until it became too cold for Mingi’s mouth and that plan had to be scrapped sooner--hence fridge, for a little bit of coldness.

When you finally arrived, he looked like an excited puppy, and you had no idea why. Until he spun you around and tied a soft cloth over your eyes. “Mingi, I’m really tired and I just--”

“Shhhhh,” Mingi lulled right next to your ear, warm breath fanning over the nape of your neck which felt more sensitive than usual, “trust me?”

Sigh escaping past your lips, because yes, of course you trusted him. And now that you felt slightly more awake from his action, maybe you were willing to hear him out. ”Baby, what are you doing?”

Chuckling that followed your question was deeper than normal. Had it always been like that or was it your mind playing tricks on you? Either way, he didn’t answer and all you had heard was the fridge opening.

“Seriously, baby, what are you doing?” Now you were just nervous, all intentions of a lazy evening down the drain as your heart sped up.

It closed, and shortly after your lips were met with his, a faint taste of strawberry attached to them. Then something smooth and cold slipped past from him to you.

The metal ball was passed between the two of you in a playful game of which only your boyfriend knew the rules of.

When he could tell your guard was down and now you became a little more comfortable, Mingi slowly took your hands behind your back.

You had not paid attention, but you should have. Cold, tight restraints pressed against your skin, shockwaves making you gasp from the low temperature. But Mingi kept on going, kissing you to ease your tension.

Two metal things, so there must be a third, right? You knew about people’s strange obsession with threes so you completely expected another cold metal object to come into play. But the question was, what?

You soon found out when a thick chain choker brushed against your neck, clasping around it snuggly. This was it. This was the third and final one. And your suspicions seemed correct when you had not felt another chilly accessory grace your skin.

You wouldn’t have, not when the coldest of all the items--the rings--were being slipped onto your boyfriend’s fingers. You were in for a surprise in just a few moment.

Needless to say, there was only one thought swirling around in your head.

Maybe he isn’t that much of a baby.

Jung Wooyoung:

Ever since Wooyoung found out your fanfics were not about him, but his favourite K-Pop band, BTS, he had been...difficult. Moping around, trying to play for your attention a lot more than normal, not letting you have some peace of quiet with your computer.

It was almost as if he was jealous. You knew how needy the boy could be, wanting skinship with you more than he did with San. Knowing that you were fawning over men that weren’t him had certainly done something to him.

But Wooyoung knew you were no-nonsense. The complete opposite of him. It was exactly why he fell for you, and it was exactly why he wasn’t being as petty as he wanted at the moment.

He knew deep down you were his and he was yours.

Then again, that still didn’t stop him from feeling jealous, and had even gone so far as to decrease the amount he listened to BTS’ songs--especially around you.

At first, you didn’t notice the change since Wooyoung was often spontaneous so his behavioural pattern was difficult to decipher. Eventually there came a point where the clinginess increased so much, you couldn’t feign ignorance anymore.

Looking back, maybe you should not have burst his bubble and let him think that your fanfics were about him... Actually, no; either way, the moment he found out about your hobby, it was going to be hell. But now you just feel bad.

Yet, you don’t feel bad enough to stop. You never actually fantasised about being with them--it was just fun to write about. Clearly, he didn’t understand.

Your boyfriend seemed to be at his tipping point when he came back to you after a long day of dance practices that went sideways, typing away intently on your computer.

This was his time. You usually spend time with Wooyoung when he came back, but you were too busy to comfort him in his desperate time of need. Too busy with fantasising about Taehyung’s large hands or Namjoon’s dimpled smile.

Wooyoung was as cute as Hoseok and Jungkook. He had a unique laugh like Seokjin and was as flirty as Jimin.

He had all your favourite qualities in a partner so why spend time thinking about other men? He was literally right there, begging for your attention and yet, now it seemed as if you gave him none (which wasn’t true since the only thing you’ve done is become less secretive about writing).

When his attempts at distracting you from writing had fail, he tried to see what exactly it was you were writing about. Unfortunately, you had tried to hid it from his sight; the only thing that helped in doing was pissing him off even further.

Only after a tough struggle did he finally see what you had been so focused on that you had neglected him.

It was more BTS fanfic, but this one was worse. This one had him fuming--skin hot red and ears pooling out steam. This one was smut.

It was about no other than Yoongi, and by God, was it a rough.

That was how you liked it, and so did Wooyoung. Probably why he was so angry while reading about mirror sex with one of his fellow idols; you were just twiddling your thumbs in the corner, not sure about how badly your boyfriend was going to burst.

Wooyoung, no matter how mad he was, he had to admit... it did turn him on. Although, he was a prideful boy--not liking how you thought about others and more importantly, how threatened he felt while reading it.

Suddenly realising that it wasn’t enough just being all the perfect parts you liked (even if it came naturally to him).

He had a point to prove; Wooyoung could go beyond your wildest fantasies--and boy was it a wild fantasy.

Throwing your phone haphazardly somewhere (making you wince in prayer that it was not broken), your boyfriend gripped you by the wrist and dragged you across the room. You had barely enough time to realise what he was doing, only feeling a cold surface against your back as his lips ravished yours.

At some point, he broke away--lips swollen and slightly more red than normal. To say the sight had not affected you more than you already were would be a lie.

Still not giving you enough time to speak, Wooyoung turned you around so you could finally see what he had you pressed against.

A mirror.

If an idea of what he was planning hadn’t dawned on you, having his fingers tug at your clothes certainly gave you one now. His free hand had clasped around your jaw, making you look right into your reflection, seeing how your boyfriend’s lips were dangerously close to your ears as he looked at you dead in the eye through the mirror.

“Let me show you that I can be better than your imagination. Let me show you that you need to think about no one but me. Let me show you how good you’ll feel and who is the sole reason behind it.”

Yes, Wooyoung has all your favourite qualities in a partner while exceeding all expectations. That’s why you’re dating him.

Choi Jongho:

Ever since the release of your first movie and publication of the book it was based on, your career had blossomed. Finally, you quit the job that had been draining the life out of you to work full time at the publishing company.

Everyone around you could tell you were much happier, and the one who noticed it the most was Jongho.

Sure, your eyes were less sunken in, your cheeks more red, your step more bouncy. But he could feel that you changed on the inside too.

Your smile didn’t feel so forced after you came back from work and he had asked you how the day was. Now, your boyfriend found himself talking less and listening more to what you had to say.

If there was an expression more powerful to describe how he loved this happier version of you, he would use it in a heartbeat.

Sure, there were still times when the both of you couldn’t hang out as much as you would like to, but that was always in the job description, and the both of you were more than happy with it as long as the bed had both of you in it at the end of the day, both metaphorically and literally.

Then came along your second movie deal of a completely different story. In fact, it was based upon a movie you had watched at the time, and you hated it so much that you simply redid the entire thing.

In fact, it had irked you to the point no one could even tell it was based off of something since you had changed so much of it. However, there were still concepts you kept in the story--intimate scenes, for example (even if they too were completely changed).

You wrote such concepts before, and you would continue to do so since it was just interesting to write. Jongho, however, did not know about it.

At all.

So once your second movie was released, he was in for a surprise.

It was miraculous how terrible your memory was, since you had forgotten that you had not told him about the scene that would come up as you both watched it at home just before it’s release in the cinemas.

‘Surprise’ wasn’t really the word Jongho would use when it did come up, nor would it be ‘shock’. He was... mildly curious? Not that either... Well, all he knew that whatever he was feeling was not overwhelming.

“Did you know they changed this scene?” you spoke up.

“Really?”

Humming, you nodded your head. “They said the original scene was... Let’s just say they thought it was ‘too much’.” Then you scoffed under your breath. “Don’t know why they thought that though. It was fairly vanilla. Just some wall sex is all,” you confessed.

Now he felt a little overwhelmed. But he was mainly amused. “I don’t remember doing that with you.”

“Hmm? Oh... that’s because we didn’t.”

Chuckling under his breath, he cocked his head to the side, the paused scene in the background long forgotten. “Have you ever wanted to try it?”

“Once upon a time. Suggested it to my ex once before but he couldn’t lift me up since I was ‘way too heavy’,” you recalled with air quotations. “Didn’t bother trying after that.” You laughed at the memory, finding it to be hilarious back then and even now.

But your boyfriend on the other hand had not. In fact, he was no longer amused.

He was pissed.

It wasn’t about the fact that you had mentioned your ex--he never felt even remotely threatened by him. It was because he had called you heavy. He called his precious darling ‘heavy’. And you just laughed.

That was who you were--no matter how mean another person was being to you, you took it as a joke and moved on. You saw no point in dwelling over the bad, and that was one of the many genuine things he had fallen for. This time was different; it annoyed him.

Sure it might have been a dumb little memory for you, yet simply hearing about it had his blood boiling.

“Get up.”

“Wha--why?” The dark look in his eye had your lips sealing within the second. As if on autopilot, your body stood from the sofa you two were so comfortably perched on.

He followed you up, wrapping his hands around the back of your thighs, which only meant one thing. “Jongho--no. You won’t be able to.”

“Am I or am I not the strongest man you’ve ever met?”

“You are, but--”

“‘But’ I don’t care.” Forcefully, he lifted you up as you yelped, legs wrapping around his waist. “See? I can pick you up completely fine.”

Scanning his face, you saw that what he said was true. He picked you up as if you were as light as a feather, no tension in his neck, face, or arms to suggest he was having a hard time either.

It had you leaning against him, forehead touching forehead, laughing even more than you did before. Smile once again etched on his face, Jongho pecked your lips, walking slowly with you in his arms.

“Now shush and let me fuck you against the wall.”

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

it wasn’t power i coveted; it was acceptance.

Titans 3.06

y’know, i was just thinking the other day that 1.06/1.07 and 2.06/2.07 were the best episodes of their respective seasons, so i have great hopes going in to this one. fingers crossed!

as always, typing this up as i see the episode.

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. oh! um... that was a Cold Open, all right. *nudges* get it? cold? because it’s snowing? and two people got murdered in cold blood? eh?

... oh, i’ve just started.

1.5. i wonder if “i want to be sipping pina coladas on a beach with you” is the new “i’m just one day away from retiring.” i was so on edge after that--i kept expecting that car to explode. even so, the way they died wasn’t an anticlimax: brutal, and quick. 

1.75. so i’m assuming that’s the titular lady vic! this show better bring up why this doll was important or why these two cops needed to be killed, and not leave it to the ether like jericho’s little mindscape jaunt in 2.08 (i’m still dying to know what that was about???)

2.

i love how deliberately unappealing wayne manor is. 

(sorry for the pic quality. i don’t have hbo max! ssshhh.)

2.3. i love the many references to “home” and “our house” when they’ve been here for less than a week and saw one of their friends get blown into pieces. i mean, i unironically love it: home is where family is, after all!

2.5. i’d like to say that kom is playing some sort of long game here, especially given the build-up we had last season and some of the more niggling details this season: why did kom choose now to use her bond to lure kory when she’s been on earth for months? why did justin call kory now, just around the time that she started getting kom’s visions? and what about kom’s ability to exactly imitate other people? hmmm.

2.75. the reason i wrote i’d like to say is that i’ve made the mistake of assuming plot complexity where there is none; i was so invested in the jason todd orchestrated his own death theory for instance, when it turns out that oops! ra’s al ghul just happened to leave a little lazarus puddle in gotham, and oh yeah! scarecrow just happens to have a network of henchmen working for him on the outside and a fully functional laboratory and a weapons cache fit for a new supervillain in the basement of the high security psychiatric unit/prison that he’s in! 

(no i’m not bitter, why do you ask)

2.8. iiiii don’t know what to say about the implications of sex slavery being a thing on tamaran, so i’m not going to say anything at all. for now.

3. gotham, six years ago... wasn’t it five years before s2 that jericho died and the titans disbanded? and when was the flashback from 1.06 where dick let zucco die? i think it was after the events of 2.08: jericho? i can’t seem to find any transcripts or reliable information online, so i’m going to have to rewatch 1.06 at some point. 

(i love the old-fashioned batman music in this heist scene)

3.5. “security is a joke... it’s my way of keeping my dad on his toes”. what you’re an ethical thief now, like an ethical hacker? i don’t think that excuse is going to sell, barbara, on the day you do encounter a decent security system and your father is forced to arrest you.

(then again, gotham’s security is piss-poor. did you know that you could just walk into arkham asylum without any official clearance, ply one of its most dangerous inhabitants with contraband, and said inmate could get away with having an entire laboratory and weapons cache--NO I’M NOT GOING TO LET THIS GO)

3.8 so that flashback between dick and barbara was really cute! and also illuminating:

a) dick sounds so light, so... um. look. i have some apologies to tender to mr thwaites, because while i’ve always thought he does a fine job as dick grayson, i’ve never been terribly fond of his cadence as he delivers dialogue. it’s often monotonous, i thought, but then again, he’s usually delivering exposition or dealing with one soul-crushing crisis or the other. so i was pleasantly surprised to hear dick sound so carefree and alive in his conversation with barbara, laughing frequently, his emotions so bare and bubbling to the surface. it’s really a fantastic contrast to the traumatised and world-weary dick grayson that we see now, even more so than the costume department just bunging a backwards-baseball cap on mr thwaites’ head and hoping that will convince us of his relative youth. 

b) and god, when he wakes up from that memory, all alone in his bed, bleeding from bullet holes in his shoulder (bullet holes that are--in a somewhat convoluted way--barbara’s fault)? yikes. it’s great. you have my apologies, mr thwaites!

c) can you imagine dick just... crawling back to wayne manor, trying not to be seen by anybody, shedding his suit and just... collapsing onto his bed without even tending to his wound? the sheer emotional and physical exhaustion of it? 

d) it’s so interesting to see how barbara and dick approach the idea of legacy--a big theme on the show!--in this flashback. barbara is the one bucking the idea that she should follow in her father’s footsteps, while dick seems pretty content with the batman-and-robin setup, and even tries to get barbara to join their team (robin-girl. pfffft). obviously after this several traumatic things happen wherein dick ends up questioning and then resenting his role as robin, his relationship with batman or even returning as a vigilante at all. and barbara... ends up replacing her father as commissioner. it’s tragic, really. 

e) the dynamic between dick and barbara in the flashback reminds me of how it was between dick and donna in 1.08 and even between kory and dick in early s1. it’s like having an older, strong-willed woman by his side means he gives over the steering wheel for a while and lets himself... unspool, a little bit. it’s kinda endearing.

also:

*pinches his cheeks*

3. you know, we talk about dick and Eldest Daughter Syndrome, and that’s definitely valid, but here gar seems to me the embodiment of it, with all the emotional gardening and firefighting that he’s expected to do. he’s kind of the guy expected to keep his shit together and take care of everyone else while they are falling completely to pieces, unable to carve out time to process his own trauma. he’s also picked up dick’s and kory’s tendencies to bottle up their struggles and shun appearing vulnerable, and he’s struggling in the shadow of both dick and kory undergoing acute crises, his best friend (and frequent confidante) on the other side of the world, and seeing hank die, utterly helpless to stop it. 

i’m glad that he got a chance to tell dick even a smidgeon of what he really feels, and i hope this is at least a semblance of a wake up call for dick to actually sit down and work with the people he repeatedly calls family.

3.5. it’s heartening to see that dick immediately makes it his priority to go talk to gar. but don’t blow off kory in the process, man!

4. i’m really loving this dynamic between kom and conner--i get the idea that both of them consider each other as Unknowns, alien two times over. but conner’s only ever known the titans, who embrace being different, and kom’s only ever known... well. 

anyway, kory is Really Stressed, and honestly? #relatable. 

when you’re forced to bring an estranged family member to hang out with your friends...

4.5. i love that the titans are spending so much time in the kitchen. a real family!

5. jonathan crane is a creep and i absolutely cannot stand him.

5.25. how did he get a whole lab setup (in the basement of a hospital...?) with a bunch of whitecoats to work for him? how did he just waltz into the viewing room of an operation theatre when he’s one of the most wanted men in gotham right now? why is jason wandering around maskless when--presumably--as the adopted son of the most famous person in gotham he’d be a tad more recognisable than your average joe?

why do i expect this show to answer anything anymore?

5.5. that’s not necessarily a criticism, mind; i’ve said since season 1 that titans is very comics-like in this aspect, all about the Aesthetic and the splash-page splendour rather than the niggling unimportant details of how or when the characters got to said location. like. the camera gliding over the operation being set-up, lady vic bursting in and doing her murder dance (imagine the luck of the poor intern who chose this day and this surgery to assist) and jason, shocked and slack-jawed, framed by blood.

5.75. it’s a sobering reminder for jason that, though he chose this path in order to gain control over a world that seemed like it was rapidly spinning out of his grip, he’s only succeeded in handing over even more control to a man with an agenda that is very clearly not aligned with his own. he’s in too far to stop now, though.

5.9. i have a lot more thoughts about jason! saving it up for the end of this recap, though.

6. more kitchen time! i better see dick do some cooking soon...

(”our kitchen”! it still delights me! kitchens are So Important)

6.25. so much of dick’s issues have revolved around his relationship with bruce, so it’s completely understandable that in the wake of a huge crisis where bruce literally asks dick to replace him and be a “better” him, dick would default to all the worst things he learned from the man. and i’m glad kory’s having none of it, but come on, guys. the woman’s literally fetched her fratricidal sister out of a hole in the ground with no idea what said sister is going to do next and experiencing a burgeoning sense of guilt far, far beyond her history with the titans, and dick’s too far into his autocolonoscopy that he can’t see that she needs help.

6.5. “he services your urges”--well, as far as we know, kory is the last person he had sex with...

7. “i hope [gar] isn’t angry with me...” SIR! i thought you’d already spoken to him! smh, as the kids say. kory wouldn’t be needing to reassure you if you just took the effort to build two way emotional relationships with the rest of the team. @superohclair​ was taking about dick’s relatively low emotional intelligence? i agree.

7.5. “i got my own problems [...] you and barbara? fix it.” YOU TELL HIM, KORY

8. man i really like this weird, sad tension between dick and barbara--this sense that both of them are approaching the other based on how they remember them and are ultimately disappointed by the truth. barbara thought she could trust dick to... well, be a better batman, but dick has not only failed at that in her eyes, but repeatedly undermined her while exploiting the authority that she gave him. in dick’s eyes, this is nothing like the barbara that he knew, rebellious and ready to do whatever it takes to find something. 

like. this show sometimes really hits me in the chest about the ways it shows kids grow into adults and into caretakers, and the way it’s stop-start, the ways nothing can happen at all for a long time and then it’s Crisis Central all at once and there’s no space to breathe. the weird sort of sadness that comes with nostalgia. 

8.5. oracle name drop! i agree with barbara, any system that can just randomly tap into gotham phonelines is a monster.

8.7. (i don’t know if it’s my imagination, but is dick holding himself... differently in this episode? like that wound is definitely bothering him, and he’s running on fumes)

9. man, that was a really sweet scene between kom and conner. “feeling alien in your own world”... “not quite here nor there”

honestly this team runs on conner and gar’s faith in their value as a family, and it’s a sign of conner’s generous heart that he extends that opportunity to blackfire. this arc of maturation for him, where he’s now able to consciously choose which parts of himself he can use to do the thing he wants to so--save people--has been so fulfilling to recognise. this baby’s grown with the titans! and what he’s learnt is that people can get fucked up, but the titans is a place where they can be fucked up, and grow.

MY MAN CONNER

10. oh man i’m drinking in the gar-dick interaction in this episode like i’m three days into the desert and it’s the only source of water for miles around!

a) gar is absolutely not dealing with dick’s bullshit this episode and I LOVE IT. it’s such a far cry from the man who was idolising dick/robin back in s1 and expecting him to solve all their problems. dick is fallible, dick is fucked up, but he Tries His Best and that’s ok.

b) dick, huffing and puffing through that vent, unable to put any pressure on his left shoulder, trying to have a heart to heart with gar... fuck i love this asshole. 

c) bruce took in a kid who was suffering... “and made him into a weapon”. well. i absolutely agree with dick that it was bruce who put these kids into these horrible situations with him and they came away with a bucketload of trauma to add to the one that they already had. but we know that bruce was really trying with jason, and at the end of s2, dick was coming to acknowledge that bruce had offered him something that wasn’t just darkness. jason’s death and bruce’s reaction to that shattered that fragile progress.

d) “gotham got to me too.” i feel more sympathetic towards dick running off on his own than most, and it’s not just because i’m an unapologetic stan.  we’ve seen before that dick... devolves when overwhelmed, and he lashes out and makes ill thought out decisions and just Does Not Deal. it happened after hearing the news that deathstroke had returned in s2, and it didn’t help that everyone around him was reeling at the news, either. this time, however, he has his salvation in his family, and despite some stupid decisions like running off and kidnapping supervillains without telling his team, he’s been really on the ball this season. thinking clearly and logically, holding it together and working on a plan, thinking two steps ahead of the villains... yes.

e) gar needing to believe that jason isn’t beyond redemption... there’s a lot of blood on his hands, too, from when he was manipulated by cadmus last season. it makes sense why he’d relate to jason’s predicament, and i hope dick picked up on that.

f) my head just added a plaintive ow after dick jumped feet first into the storage room

i need, crave gifs of this scene!

11. *sits on hands* i’m going to talk more about red hood, i promise!

12. more gar and dick! is it my birthday??!!

(actually, according to the tamil calendar, it is my birthday! my “star” birthday)

12.5. excellent. dick using some implausible training that bruce taught him to solve a mystery? passing some of that knowledge onto gar? that proud smile when he sees gar perfectly execute moves that he taught him? MY HEART IS EXPLODING

13. aw, i love flashback!dick and barbara, they’re so cute <3

13.25. why does it not surprise me that the way he proposes a relationship to barbara is by saying “we make sense”? this guy can deduce exactly who was present where and what weapon they were holding from a garbled audio recording but other times he’s utterly clueless, and that’s a consistent character beat right from s1

13.5. so.... that’s why lady vic has it out for... barbara....? i don’t get it. it’s flimsy. but hey! the fun thing about titans is that i don’t have to get it. the payoff has nothing to do with the plot.

14. i can’t believe that barbara fell for that, but at least that wheelchair fight looked awesome, so.

15. oh yeah, i forgot that red hood bullied the mob into helping him and scarecrow... at least that explains the whitecoats and the elaborate set-up.

15.5. honestly i love how this dynamic between kory and kom is developing, though i wish more of the team would pay attention to it. time to call justin, i think!

16. i wonder what happened after that second flashback where barbara got hurt during that heist. did she give up on doing any more (maybe jim caught her)? was it because dick was called away by bruce and then the titans and got caught up in his own issues? maybe barbara froze him out because she wasn’t looking for the relationship that he was looking for? maybe the idea of doing that with someone turning into batman-lite was just... unappealing? scary?

whatever it is, it doesn’t look like dick ever processed the end of that relationship. it’s very intriguing to see where their dynamic goes next.

17. so.... what, did vic deliver some fear toxin to barbara? i... what?

17.5. and i TOLD YOU that they would never explain that doll or why vic attacked those two cops at the beginning! oh, titans. never change. 

18. did jason just randomly have tim’s restaurant burgled? god, i’m feeling a bit nauseous... are they going to kill tim’s father?

18.25. i feel like the rest of the season is going to wrestle with jason’s culpability in the horrible stuff he’s doing and i’m already seeing that prospect divide fans. on one hand, his story is taking a lot of oxygen away from other equally interesting story arcs, and he’s done some truly awful things, like indiscriminate murder, threatening to kill children, blowing up hank, and potentially killing tim’s parents. 

there’s something to be said for the kind of hold that crane has over him, and the so-called ‘anti-fear’ drug that he keeps plying jason with--he’s alone, drugged almost constantly (to the level of dependence), fresh from the trauma of being bludgeoned to death. he hasn’t conquered fear; he’s ruled by it. on the other hand, given that he’s the one character on the show given an obvious and identifiable ‘mental illness’ arc (maaaaybe dick too), one can argue that it’s irresponsible to show this progress into such violence: jason was vulnerable because he was struggling, and that left him vulnerable, but it took only a push before he became a fucking serial killer.

but that could mean we underestimate the degree of that vulnerability, and the mechanics of this universe where he fell into the clutches of the one supervillain perfectly designed to exploit that vulnerability. that helpless spiral into further and further self-destruction is all too real. it’s valuable to know that someone who has sunk that low can still seek help--actual help--and get it. 

18.5. i don’t know. it’s not a question i’m going to resolve at the end of an overlong recap at 1 in the morning. i don’t believe it’s even a question that titans can resolve. but i am interested in where they’re going next with jason.

19. this episode was genuinely great! i’m pumped for the rest of the season!

[prydon]

hey so feel free to ignore this, but i was wondering if you had any advice for newish writers? for context, i’ve only written a couple like 2,000-ish word things, but i’m taking on writing a script for a big project of mine, and i’m not sure how to go about it?

how much do you plan ahead before you start writing? do you have an in depth outline with every plot point or do you just have a broad overview and see where it takes you?

ohhh that's a tough question.... i've never had any formal writing instruction (outside of english classes in school) so most of my ability just comes from having been reading and writing a lot my whole life just for fun haha, which is great and all but makes it hard to think of advice beyond just "do it a lot".

though i do also recommend reading, i swear i got 50% better at writing by accident just because i got back into reading and subconsciously picked up on stuff i liked or didn't like in the books i was consuming. especially when it comes to writing a script, i'm sure reading other work in that format would be helpful.

as for planning... it does depend on the story, but my outlines tend to just basically be a chronological bullet point list of everything i've thought of for the story, especially the major beats.

i try to at least have a plan for what every scene is going to be before i start writing a one shot or a chapter, even if that plan is just a single line, and then i tend to flesh out the outline as i think of more things. i don't think there's anything wrong with not having a 100% finished outline before you start writing the story. write down the base ideas, then flesh them out as you keep writing/thinking of things.

idk if you've read my childhood friends fic constellations, but it's the only one i have an outline on hand for lol (because i delete my outlines after i finish writing a story, alas) so here's an example of my outline from ch6 of constellations:

so yeah, not very professional but gets the job done :"D

i guess something that's notable is that i tend to write the *purpose* of a scene in my outlines. like, going into writing this chapter, i didn't plan "okay so a bunch of chorus girls are gonna see peter and start whispering about how they don't recognize him, then go up and ask his name/who he is bc they have a crush, and he'll get nervous thus prompting annie to step in and tell them he's her brother". i wrote "annie calls nureyev her brother". because the lead up to that didn't really matter and could have happened any way that i came up with while writing, the base POINT of the scene was to establish how annie now sees their relationship and that peter knows she sees it that way. that was what was important to me to have planned.

and i do think every scene should have a purpose! that's something i've learned over time. even with longform stuff, every single scene should serve a purpose to the narrative, even if that purpose is just to show character development or to give the audience a breather/a false sense of security before an intense moment. often they can serve multiple purposes! something really fun to do is trick the readers by including a moment that they think is only relevant on an emotional level, but--surprise!--is gonna be relevant on a plot level later. if you just shove a chekhov's gun into a scene, people are gonna be like "what's that doing there" and expect it to come into play later, but if you disguise it as just being for the purpose of character development then they might not notice it. 

in general: set up and pay off good. if you set something up, you should probably pay it off. if you make a big moment happen, you have to have set it up. i know that seems simple but it's something that took me an embarrassingly long time to learn as a writer lol, and it's important for both big plot stuff and little character stuff.

themes are good. parallels are good. motifs are good. is there a way you can connect a scene at the end of the story to one at the beginning? have a character repeat the same thing they did in scene 1 but this time it takes on a different, deeper meaning. have a character be unable to catch their friend before they fall off a garden wall while playing in scene 2 that's passed off as a silly moment, then have them be unable to catch said friend again in scene 19 but this time their friend is falling from a radio tower. do it. be evil. people will be like "OHHH SHIT" and have the entire first section of the story be recontextualized for them upon reread.

uhhh what else... voices?? especially for a script, since they're dialogue-only, giving each character a unique voice is super important. i have it easy with this bc i usually only write fic and the characters in TPP have super unique voices to begin with that i can just copy, but i still think it's v important. if you can change which character says a line without changing the line at all and it still sounds right/in character for them, their voices probably aren't unique enough. that's not to say that every character should talk like a cartoon or smth, but i think it's helpful for them to each have their own recognizable vibe. (and a good shorthand for this can be changing how each character refers to others--by first name, by last name, by nicknames, with mocking endearments or with honorifics?)

that's pretty much all i can think of rn and i'm not sure any of it is useful at all but there you go aisfhuiasfh. and tbh i just appreciate that you respect my opinion enough on this subject to reach out haha!