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⠀ ⠀ ❀ 🥤 tysm for 800 !! ❛ ♬
thank you so much for 800 and all the support !! advanced happy new year to everyone i hope everyone is doing amazing and staying safe again thank you so so much for 800 flwrs 💕💕
⠀ ⠀ ❀ 🎪 my fav blogs !! ❛ ♬
@y-ves @s-heon @baesol @favhaerin @kovilla @yeritos @wonlita @iluvrei @misdior @tyunlouv @vivihrts @boos2bies @froopis @contexty & more !!
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i think im hilarious
#bsd spoilers#bungo stray dogs dazai#bsd fanart#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bungo stray dogs#neo's art#id in alt text#dazai osamu#bsd dazai#bsd memes#sketch#it was a 20 minutes sketch bc i saw the original picture and had an epiphany. and i needed to finish that shit as fast as possible#he's my babygirl#also ibispaint got new effects & i wanted to try them out :3#digital art#also the chapter w him being shot is the last one i read. im manga only so if something else happened since that chapter im not aware </3#i mean i probably would see it all over my dash bc i follow dazai's tag on tumblr and my cool singular mutual would post about it#ten thousands times lmao#(as it should)
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Shigeo still doesn’t know how to answer. He hasn’t answered, and he knows that’s weird, and maybe a bit creepy, but it’s also characteristic of him, so maybe he doesn’t need to stress over it. He simply sits there in the heavy rain instead and watches Reigen’s pink tie get dragged by the gales. And then Serizawa crouches down, lowers his hand out, and shelters Shigeo’s head with the draped fabric of a clear umbrella. In Shigeo’s world, the rain stops.
scene from my wip fic recondite :]
#qkdraws#id in alt#jay you've GOTTA stop jumping into projects u don't know how to do . rainwater on Any surface is not ur specialty#actually ykw scratch that. that's how u learn#follow ur dreams kids#im so happy i can finish big pieces in one day now. started this just earlier today#i've always wanted to do that and now i can. success <3#also i've realized over the years that sometimes u jump into a project and expect one part to be hard#but that part is actually the easiest bit and some other trivial bullshit is the issue. yeah the umbrella#doing the umbrella was fine. doing the rainwater ? uhm i did my best#ALSO also sorry that this is the same snippet i posted a while ago i just think this scene means a lot to the both of them#and i think abt it a good bit#mob psycho 100#mp100#mob psycho#shigeo kageyama#mp100 shigeo#mp100 mob#serizawa katsuya#mp100 serizawa#ayyyee two for two on actual backgrounds in art for this fic. wowie
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I’d love to know about Yulma and how important it is to representation in shounen manga
This has been sitting in my askbox for a couple months (because I am incapable of punctuality), but anon sent this to me back when I was talking about Yulma over on my vnc blog. For those unaware, Yulma refers to Yu Kanda and Alma Karma from the manga D.Gray-man.
So the thing is, to be honest, I don't know if you can say Yulma is/was important for representation. They don't tend to get brought up as an example of representation (except by diehard d.gray-man fans like me, lol) in shonen, and their whole thing is complicated enough that I feel like the queerness of it all flies over a lot of people's heads.
However! They're very important to me personally, and I do think it's kind of remarkable their story came out in like 2010. Because even though their queerness gets overlooked a lot, it's like. really there no matter how you interpret it.
The short version of their very complicated story is that Kanda and Alma are a couple who were resurrected into new bodies. Alma was a woman when they were originally together in their past lives, but is physically male in the present. Kanda is still very much in love with them by the end of their story, which, depending on the reading, makes Kanda very bi and/or Alma very trans.
This sound like something you want details on? If so, let's talk about how D.Gray-man's fan favorite edgy badass toughguy character briefly became the star of his very own heart-wrenching tragic queer romance.
Here's a brief crash course in Yu Kanda and Dgm for the uninitiated:
D.Gray-man is a manga about a group of exorcists (in the loosest and most anime sense of the term) in the 1890s fighting a holy war against mechanical demons powered by the souls of the dead. There are two things you need to understand about this plot for me to explain Yulma:
The Black Order, the secret branch of the church that exorcists work for, has a long history of committing horrific human experiments to further the war effort.
Due to complications of world building, only a tiny number of people can become exorcists, and tracking down new ones is extremely difficult.
Yu Kanda is one of the exorcists, and though not the actual main character (that's the lad in my icon), he's a very important secondary character. Arguably he's the most important secobdary character, since he's the main guy's biggest foil and the first character to play deuteragonist in a major story arc. He's also a huge fan favorite. The character popularity polls that Jump used to do always had him and the mc going back and forth over who won #1 most popular.
Kanda was also a classic edgy toughguy character. His first two scenes are him almost murdering the main guy because he thinks he's an intruder, then complaining about people grieving for their friend too loudly. He never smiles. He argues with the righteous mc about wasting time/energy protecting civilians. He threatens (and delivers) violence on anyone that annoys him. He looks like this:
TLDR; Kanda was an adored-by-fans mean badass archetype in a 2000s shonen manga. Not generally the guy you peg for starring in a piece of queer romantic storytelling.
And for the entirety of the original anime adaptation's 103 episode run, for the first 188ish chapters of the manga, you do not learn a single thing about his early life. You learn he joined the Black Order very young, and you meet the mentor that took him in at that point, but although there are little hints, a couple cryptic mentions of him searching for a certain person, his early origins remain a complete black box.
Then came the Alma Karma arc.
This is the point where I start getting into spoilers.
To make a very long story short, the Alma Karma arc reveals that Kanda is one of the Black Order's human experiments. The Order ran a secret project 9ish years before the start of the series in which they essentially tried to re-use dying exorcists (since finding new ones is so hard). They took the bodies of dying or recently deceased exorcists and harvested their brains, implanting those brains into new magically grown child bodies.
Key to this project—the second exorcist project—is that these newly grown second exorcists were not supposed to remember anything from their previous lives. Kanda, however, recovered a few hazy memories from his past self. Most importantly, he can recall an unclear image of the woman that his past self was in love with. This memory gradually becomes Kanda's reason to live. He wants desperately to find and meet that person.
Now, aside from Kanda, there was one other successfully revived second exorcist. This was a boy named Alma Karma.
Over the course of their brief shared childhood, Kanda and Alma become extremely close. However, due to a series of horrible events that I'll spare you the details of, Alma is eventually driven to murder-suicide. He wants himself and Kanda to die together to spite the Order, and Kanda almost lets him do it.
The one thing that keeps Kanda from letting Alma kill him, the thing that drives him instead to kill Alma, his most beloved and only friend, is that he can't bear to die without finding that woman again.
Have you figured out the twist yet?
9 years later, in the present, Kanda discovers that he didn't actually quite kill Alma. The Order kept Alma secretly half-alive in order to do more dubious experiments. And, more importantly, when they meet again, Kanda discovers the truth. The woman that he's been searching for his whole life, the woman he's in love with, the woman he tried to kill Alma in order to find, was also killed and made into a second exorcist. And her brain was placed into the body of Alma Karma.
After quite a lot more violence and tragedy, Kanda and Alma end their story arc by running away together on their deathbeds. Alma dies, for real this time, in Kanda's arms, and his last words are to tell Kanda he loves him. These words are presented as something Kanda hears from both the boy and woman versions of Alma's soul.
So! At the end of a very long and complicated story, one thing holds true: Kanda and Alma are in love. As passed down from their past selves, they are specifically in romantic love. They were a couple. And to speak as a fan, the sheer absolute devotion to how Kanda's love for Alma is presented is seriously intense and moving.
Now, given the absolute hell that is Alma's life, gender identity is frankly the last thing they have time to worry about, so it's hard to say how the whole "literally a woman's brain in a male body" thing might have settled for them if given time to think about it. But that is inherently a pretty trans narrative. And given the whole Alma gender situation, there's simply no reading of their whole situation where neither of them is queer.
If you take present day Alma as a guy, which is more or less how he's presented in canon (though again, who knows how he would've felt about that male body in different circumstances), then congratulations! You've got mlm in your shonen manga. They were straight in a different life, but now one of them's a dude, and they are still deeply in love with each other. They've even got not one but two "let's forget it all and run away together" scenes, just as every mlm couple seems to have.
On the other hand, if you go with the angle that Alma's still a woman based on her mind/soul, even in her new body, then Kanda may not be canonically queer, but Alma is inarguably trans. Again, literally a woman's brain in a male body. It may not be how most people end up trans, but that doesn't change the facts of her situation.
You see what I mean about how they're undeniably queer, but also kind of easy to miss? There's so much other insane shit going on in their story that Alma's whole gender situation can get passed over. Plus, you can look online to this day and find people arguing that Kanda's not "technically" explicitly in love with the present day male version of Alma, since he doesn't 100% unambiguously say as much. I love reading comprehension.
Also! As a possible extra reason for why people don't talk about them much, the official English translation of the manga translated Alma's final "I love you" very differently. There's always a lot of nuance and argument when it comes to translating "大好き" into English, but given the full context of their relationship and the scene it's in, Viz's handling really sets off the censorship bells in my head.
Here's the different versions (Japanese then fan then official), if you want to compare:
Nothing more classically queer than censorship by way of questionable translation 🙃.
At the end of the day, Kanda and Alma are in kind of a strange middle ground. They're each in love with the other one, but the whole second exorcist brain transfer situation makes it complicated enough that people argue their feelings aren't explicitly romantic (and thus not gay) in the present. Alma is literally a woman's brain implanted in a male body, but we don't have time to dwell on the gender complications of all that because of the hell that is the rest of their life. They're canon but not canon—queer people whose stories don't have space for them to be queer.
However, given that all this messy, tragic ambiguity was published in a fairly popular shonen manga back in 2010, it still feels kind of remarkable to me. Alma is somewhat an antagonist (it's complicated), and he dies at the end of his arc, but once again, Kanda was/is the fan favorite! And when he re-enters the main story after Alma's death, he's more important than he's ever been, and his history with Alma continues to be a huge part of his character.
Katsura Hoshino took the much-beloved edgy toughguy character from her long-running shonen series and, after keeping his origins secret for such a long time, confirmed that his whole life has revolved around love this entire time. Almost every facet of his character can be traced back to his love for his lost best friend or his yearning for his past life's missing partner. And then she reveals that the best friend and the partner are one and the same.
You can go back and forth about the degree to which they work as representation, but in any case, I think their story is something people ought to know about. It's romantic and it's heart-wrenching and it's fucking wild, especially given the context in which it was published (a Shonen Jump spinoff in 2010). I never see anyone besides the few remaining hardcore dgm fans talk about them, and I think that's a shame.
So anyway, that's tale of one of the most insanity-inducing romances I've ever seen put to paper. I love queer people.
Here's some choice pages if you want to cry with me (the last two are a sequence):
#followers!! I know my demographic#I know that most of y'all are Tragic Queer Romance Enjoyers#and if that describes you. you should read this post#come learn about a truly wild piece of manga history#I bring you the gift of discovering Yulma without having to read almost 200 chapters of shonen manga for context#don't pass this up <3#dgm#d.gray-man#yu kanda#yulma#alma karma#invasion of the frogs#also I really hope that at least one of the besties reads this and has a Realization about who/what my queue tag is a reference to#maybe I flatter myself to think that anyone remembers what my queue tag is. but I just think it would be funny <3#also also. I really did not intend for this post to turn into an entire essay when I started writing it#so uh. whoops#ID in alt text#anon#ask
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"Huh? Which one did I like best?"
happy birthday to the girl who started it all!! arle nadja my beloved darling I wish you only the best and only the spiciest of curries on your special day. I'm sorry I couldnt integrate curry into this piece
#puyo puyo#arle nadja#carbuncle#wanted to pay homage to some of the most iconic designs (imo) with this <3#some of the iconics and some of my favs#looks at the draft with only quest alts before i had second thoughts#that one was cute too. maybe ill repurpose that#anyway yeah!! i tried emulating the render styles of the appropriate games to this and i think it turned out good!!!#the yons were a bit of a struggle (neither followed the same shading rules and agh please)#also doppel is here bc i love her and also cause Hypothetically Arle And Doppel Share A Birthday Right. They Are The Same Person#So They Have.... The Same Birthday. Correct#thats my personal thoughts anyway#sega cowards give everybody birthdays for me :)#so i can appreciate them all :))#ok thats all of the thoughts tonight#glad i got this out before midnight and not so glad i cut it this close even tho i started this yesterday#how does that happen. i didnt even start it day of and yet#god ok that is enough now. as always thanks for reading if youre here bc my tags are always the most#time to listen to the yon soundtrack on repeat cause im feeling it tonight goodnight#my stuff
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hey.......whatz up.........
#mortal kombat 1#mk1#mortal kombat#mk#mortal kombat oc#mk1 oc#mk oc#mortal kombat oc: kandace#hey guys ....... um#I think I ran into art block or something its been so hard for me to draw lately#anyways. Kandace!#ppl who follow me on my alt twitter acc will know her#I have like 3 other mk1 ocs ive just never shown them on here ..#I love her dearly#maybe will make a post w/ info on her in the future..#oh also school has been whupping my butt with assignments#so like....#STILL VERY MUCH HERE THOUGH. I Lurk.#also idk wtf is up with her pose I was just farting around wif this T_T
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unstoppable intimidating loyal bodyguard experiences a hangover for the first time ever and she is Not having fun.
#raymooart#raymooocs#Magpie#Artisan 'Art' Sterling#Art#I drew a bunch to overdramatized flanderized OOC shitty sketches following this but they can stay on my secret twt alt :)#it was just an excuse to draw Magpie overly flustered because I enjoy making serious characters break and get all worked up#it's super cute so you can't blame me#but I'll draw an actual in character flustered Magpie later just to indulge myself even more#Art also finds this super hilarious cus#1. she's an alcoholic so her tolerance is much higher#2. Magpie is usually the one who has to drag Art back when she's drunk so the role reversal is funny#Magpie also isn't one to drink#but I'll leave the reason why she did up to interpretation :3#it's probably something gay. beats me.#such a serious no nonsense intimidating bodyguard having such innocent and wholesome first crush feelings is just too cute#also the fact that those feelings are directed to one of the worst women to ever exist is hilarious#but they do have plenty moments of genuine happiness... before I rip it all away#anyways that's that for now plz enjoy my epic totally Original OCs :3#raymoojabber
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‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
they're so cool. they are so cool. testament guilty gear my beloved they're so cool. I love love love this art specifically it's so good. the way the most vibrant part is the blood that forms their staff but only the part that pools under them. something something weight of their actions etc etc. they are also non binary and so cool forever and ever
#whisp whispers#whisp whispers (the gears are guilty)#i refuse to maintag this it's almost midnight. i'm correct but still#GOD I LOVE TESTAMENT !!!!#if i was any better at fighting games i would own strive. alas. $3 for xrd is such a steal though 10/10#shoutout to bridget also but testament has my heart forever for being like me if i was immortal and manipulated slash mind controlled into#killing a bunch of people and then trying to live through the consequences of my actions#also literally me because i too would try and have a tea party instead of fighting someone#need to do all of their hobbies.#painting (badly) is still really funny to me. their hobby is painting but dear god do they suck so bad. their paintings are the WORST#hope the alt text is sufficient btw. i tried. not really sure how much detail should be there it is an official illustration but like? idk.#sorry to any screen reader followers i don't know how alt text works
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i should be sentenced to permanent fallout 76 loading hell for how often i give butch songs to sing that i know for a fact he would scoff at but im sorry butch u would sing bobby's part in the act 1 finale of urinetown i dont make the rules
#i worked the follow spot for my college's production of the show and honestly? the songs are kinda vibey#with the act 1 finale honestly being my favorite#mr cladwell and cop song are also fun#i also had a mega gay moment seeing the cute girl play her alt role as an evil business suit man#well thats enough confessional for one night#fallout 3#butch deloria#the most unhinged butch deloria poster i assure you
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Sometimes I just look at Isabeau and just know that if isat came out and I got into it when I was like 16 he would be my favorite character and I would've gone absolutely buck wild over this man and feel like he was laser targeting me. But alas Odile has a grip of steel on me rn due to her virtue of being a middle aged woman
#rat rambles#stars posting#I feel like the biggest change in my taste in characters as the years have gone by is Im now far more biased towards old ppl lol#although tbf I was also the one person in 2016 who actually liked asgore so maybe Ive always liked parhetic old ppl#but yeah the reason isa is past me bait is because hes an exploration and subversion of the sort of tropes I Hated as a kid#and I still dont like them so isa still appeals to me its just not as much as he would have to a younger me#I do genuinely love all the party very dearly tho theyre all soooo good#I think my favorite part of isabeau is how like. of everyone we get to see the least facets of him but like in a very good way#this is a man who hides and bottles shit hes so fun to rotate#his self image is so carefully controlled compared to everyone else which makes him an incredibly interesting character to analyze#and I love that despite him seeming like the most emotionally stable person here on the surface he still clearly has like. hashtag issues.#like he's in that beautiful zone where its so so fun imagining what it would look like to truly break him#<- normal things that normal ppl say. like me.#I may have my very light beef with alt looping aus as a concept but hes probably the most interesting alternate looper to me#also my light beef exclusively relates to king quest stuff which is why Im a big fan of duo looper aus with sif#but honestly. isa might be the only one that I genuinely think works better as a solo looper even with taking king quest into account#although bonnie comes close. I <3 looper bonnie I <3 seeing fictional children go through the horrors#I think theres a lot of fun to be had with any alt looper au tho I just am a huge king quest fan so I like it when my favorite elements of#it dont have to be handwaved#but yeah the real question is how would younger me feel about mirabelle#because on the one hand: acearo character#but on the other hand: I have always been a little hater abt romance so idk if younger me would rly be able to follow her character well#I wasnt exactly good at character analysis back then lol#except for the instances in which I was but I dont have that sort of faith in my younger self#yknow Im thinking abt my history of favorite characters now and I think me being one of few 2016 alphys enjoyers might have been a prophecy#she was my quote unquote third favorite but in reality she was second#I think she chara and peridot su teamed up to define my taste in fictional characters for the next several years#and somehow that lead to olivia becoming one of my favorite fictional characters of all time#I say somehow as if that isnt a very natural conclusion
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ok so. kiwami 2. rooftop scene. the ending. it's a bit of a clusterfuck but i wanna talk about one detail, a problem they bring to your attention by Fucking. Talking About Her.
haruka is watching all of this unfold.
[this post is like 4.5k words long + pretty critical + has spoilers for kiwami and kiwami 2, and really minor/vague ones for a couple others. they're not that bad though, trust me (and i added a warning in the one place it is major)]
ALSO CONTENT WARNING i'm gonna talk about kiryu's passive suicidality a good amount in this one, so stay away from this if you think that might affect you negatively/you'd be better off skipping it. i'll also make a tl;dr (which i will highlight in red) at the very end if you really wanna know what my point is that will exclude those elements <3. i am also going to use a lot of choice-based language in regards to kiryu's contemplation of suicide because i think it's the lens through which the games treat the topic, but i personally don't find it a productive or realistic way to look at suicide or suicidal ideation at all. someone dying by suicide absolutely does not mean they don't care about their loved ones enough to fight on or whatever. i love you, and proceed with caution on this one.
(also i'm using the kiwamis as my point of reference because i uh. don't have a ps2? those are the games that i played, and though the differences are likely slight, i wanna be clear about that. also,, ignore the watermark on these screenshots,, i didn't notice them and i'm not retaking them. we're all gonna have to settle for youtube cutscene comps for now xoxo)
first, we have to talk about the ending of the first game.
[note: i am Really Really Confident kiryu has a conversation earlier in the game about his going to jail in nishiki's stead being him running away and choosing not to resist his two options (go to jail or let nishiki go to jail) and define his own path, fighting his way against fate to make it happen. part of why i'm so confident it exists is because it made such an impression on me at the time. it's pretty important to my interpretation of things but i also can't find it for the life of me, so uh. sorry ✌️ i really tried. this post's takes/analysis will be dependent on this scene existing, so keep that in mind. if anyone knows where to find the scene/screenshots of it, lmk and i'll add a follow-up with it]
kiwami stuff
so as she's dying, yumi tells haruka this:
that she may be dying (painfully, and right as she's getting everything she wanted), but she doesn't regret it, because at least she did something rather than running away from it all. that you shouldn't run away, ever.
shortly thereafter, when the police find kiryu and haruka, this exchange happens between him and date. here's the play by play:
date tells kiryu he can get him out of trouble with this, and that if he doesn't, he'll get life in prison; kiryu declines his help:
kiryu is so devastated (understandably) by the back to back losses of the three people closest to him that he resigns himself to life in prison, and the death-in-effect that would be. he would prefer to waste away rather than struggle through a life without them. prison was monotonous and isolating, but coming back after a decade was overwhelming, and coming back to everything being so warped and twisted, and then losing the corrupted scraps he had anyway, well. he wants to go back to sleep. he doesn't want to be in a world where everything's the same except he's on his own. better to return to safety, to die slowly in a hell he knows well than weather a new one where he has control and agency, and thus one where he has the ability to fail and to lose anything at any time. he explains to date that that loss is why he can accept his death:
date shakes him and asks him if there's really nothing left for him, no reason to keep living at all:
then echoes yumi's advice to haruka:
which makes an impression on kiryu:
date gives him a reason to live in the form of haruka, saying she'll be on her own again if he goes to jail. he hijacks kiryu's tragic protector complex to keep him alive, because she needs him, and because she's someone precious to him:
after the dust has cleared,
kiryu and date also have this exchange, where date tells him to stay away from the cops (and presumably arrest and a return to prison, the aforementioned fate akin to death), and kiryu cites haruka as his reason to stay away, one he holds to with no uncertainty (showing again that he's accepted date's logic, that his reason to keep living even when it's incredibly difficult is to care for the more vulnerable haruka). given the weight of the consequences, to me, it feels like date's telling him not to be alone with his thoughts or something. it's almost frightening:
so, what's our takeaway from kiwami?
kiryu lost everything and hit rock bottom, but he chose to fight, and to live life on his own terms, even when it got difficult. that's the narrative life lesson he had to learn to avoid repeating the events of 1995. he made that choice for haruka's sake. it's seen as growth.
and without him, haruka would've just returned to the orphanage (assuming she could make it back to sunflower at all) with no one who knew or understood what she had been through, no one to mourn with her, and no one to give her the attention, care, and protection she needs. kiryu knows what it's like to be an orphan with a limited parental figure who only checks in every so often (kazama, "aunt" yumi), and what someone will do for attention/affection from that person (via both himself and nishiki swearing up, climbing the ranks, etc. arguably haruka coming to kamurocho by herself to find "mizuki" is similar), and what it's like to lose them anyway (again, kazama, yumi). their situations parallel each others' somewhat, and that binds them further. and after losing everyone (which he blames himself for to some extent, as one can probably assume from this and 2, and something key to his arc in later games), he chooses to protect her. and this time, he won't fail. at least partially because failing would hurt him, too. he'd have nothing left again.
okay. now we get to kiwami 2.
if you forgot, the context is basically:
everybody's fighting on the roof of a building which i'm sure will not be a running theme or anything as the series goes on
there's a bomb that's about to go off and they don't know how to/can't defuse it
ryuji shot the twist villain to death, but took fatal hits to do so
sayama's like hey!! let's get out of here!!! and kiryu and ryuji are like nooo we have to settle this oughh it's punchin time and they stick her on an elevator and send her down so she doesn't have to watch
ryuji loses. sayama returns, they have a cute sibling heart to heart, and ryuji dies in her arms. sad
kiryu is in rough shape as well, and there's like 2 minutes left on the bomb's timer
here's the scene itself:
sayama tells kiryu they have to run, and kiryu says he can't. the gist is "let's run!" "you go without me" "i'm not leaving you!" "i'm in no condition to run" "i'll carry you then!!" sayama: *sees how fucked up kiryu is, realizes he's Going To Die Anyway* "ok, then i'm staying with you!" and then further bickering about that, before they give up and make out (as one does i guess)
date (he's here now) yells this at them from a helicopter:
before someone else in the helicopter tells date this:
we get this shot of haruka calling out to kiryu as the helicopter swerves away:
and kiryu and sayama have this exchange about haruka where they say they let her down, but that she'll understand:
then they hug and the bomb ticks to zero right when the credits hit. in post credits it's revealed that the twist villain defused the bomb when they weren't looking, betraying his co-villain for reasons i truthfully do not remember and am unwilling to look up. it's not about that right now.
so, how does this scene interact with the ending of the previous game?
the short answer is "badly <3" but here's the long answer:
it's about choices.
the thing about fiction is that anything you want to have happen, as a writer, can happen. it may not be effective, internally consistent, or logical, but you can write it regardless. audiences suspend their disbelief for the sake of engaging fully with your fiction, but everyone has a threshold past which they will stop being engaged in a story and either become uninvested or annoyed. writers usually have lines they're unwilling to cross as well. but in almost every story, there's at least a couple of places where they stretch reality a little to make the narrative they want happen. this is not a bad thing at all. that's how stories get told.
now, i'm gonna be real with you. i don't care about how feasible plots are like 95% of the time. it's not something i think about much, nor is it something i prioritize. i am a very character-centric media consumer, so if world building and/or plot are a bit stale or contrived, that doesn't really bother me much so long as i'm invested in the characters involved. some people can't stand plot holes or the ways musicals burst into song or whatever, and that's fine for them. but it's not something i tend to find that all that important.
this is all to say that i have a sorta affection for rgg's flavor of bullshit pulling. and it is a powerful flavor, maybe even an acquired taste, but i can and do rock with it so long as it doesn't damage the characters too much. this is why i'm not making a lengthy post howling into the void about joji kazama or the second joon-gi han or how many secret relatives there are. those things are silly and endearing and a clumsy yet heartfelt part of a series i care about very deeply. i'll joke about it, but i don't consider it much of a flaw. it's more like personality. flaws are texture, and they help a piece's identity. point is i am very, very willing and able to suspend my disbelief for these games in exchange for a good time, particularly via good characters.
(if you want another example of where i draw the line from within rgg, the answer's the YAKUZA 4 SPOILERS INCOMING rubber bullets twist, because i think 1) it's actively horrifically stupid (especially retconning a scene we SAW HAPPEN. WE SAW BLOOD ON EACH IMPACT, AND RUBBER BULLETS DON'T OFTEN BREAK SKIN THAT DEEPLY (THEIR DAMAGE IS MORE PERCUSSIVE THAN PENETRATIVE). THESE EVENTS HAPPEN IN THE SAME GAME YOU DON'T HAVE TO RETCON IT JUST REWRITE IT. OR DON'T SHOW THE HIT AT ALL SO THERE'S MORE PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY. DON'T DO THIS JUST TO HYPE UP YOUR SHITTY VILLAIN NO ONE CARES ABOUT. and 2) (a bit more importantly) i think it actively removes saejima's primary internal conflict for that game, that being his intense guilt over the 18 murders he thinks he committed, one i was invested and interested in. but this isn't a rubber bullets post.)
characters in this series walk off a lot of life threatening injuries. they survive miraculously, they escape in the nick of time, and they pull through in the end. kiryu still somehow hasn't killed anyone. almost every game in his saga ends with an "is kiryu gonna make it out this time?!?" shortly followed by a "yeah lol. lmao" postcredits reveal. kiryu fucking punches a marble statue into dust in the first game. having a story that asks you to suspend your disbelief so much and so often means that when a decision is made, it's not the writers saying, "well, this would have to happen so we are obligated/forced to write it happening" so much as "we wanted this to happen for some reason(s)," because you already know that they're not guided solely by logic. again, this is true of all writers, it's just amplified in stories like these because they've already given you so many hard mode suspension of disbelief moments (they've broken you in like leather, yeah? or like how obvious internet scams allow for self selection by being so obvious that only the most vulnerable people would fall for them. they curate an audience willing to play along with their bullshit flavor so they can tell a story that's more likely to satisfy that audience. in a good way, in a fun way! mass appeal is overrated). there is not much limit to what this series is willing to try and sell you.
so when ryuji takes lethal damage taking out the big bad, that's a choice. when he doesn't die immediately, that's a choice. when ryuji and kiryu send sayama away in the soon-to-be-forgotten elevator so they can settle this like men or whatever despite the literal actual bomb about to go off, that's a choice. when sayama comes back, that's a choice. when ryuji does die, that's a choice. when kiryu determines that he can't escape in time, that's a choice. when sayama is unwilling to leave him, that's a choice. when she says she'll carry him out and there's an elevator right fucking there and then she's like never mind i guess i won't anymore we're dying together right now kiryu like they're not gonna even try?? wouldn't distancing themselves from the blast give themselves a better shot, something that's super possible given the 2 minutes they have with that elevator??? sayama you met him like a week and a half ago why are you ready to die with him that's not a plot hole i just think that's kinda strange whatever anyway, that's a choice. when kiryu stops arguing with her so they can kiss (next to her brother's corpse), that's a choice. when date shows up, that's a choice. when the helicopter can't save them because the bomb was going to go off too soon, that's a choice. when they put haruka in that helicopter and take her away, let her only impact be reminding kiryu and sayama that they can't help her, that's a choice. when they spend their last moments talking as if they're already dead, then simply waiting, that's a choice.
they're all choices that the writers made for the characters, and we are asked to believe them for the sake of achieving the writers' vision, as with any story. the only problem is that the writers' vision here fucking blows.
i'm not saying it would be realistic for kiryu and sayama (and even ryuji) to make it out alive, but it wouldn't be out of character for the series in the slightest. kiryu is suddenly unable to power through here, and that's a choice. so, what is their vision?
put simply, i think they wanted a romantic last stand for kiryu and sayama, a tragic scene of doomed, devoted lovers. and i think they wanted an edge-of-your-seat fake out death. they wanted spectacle.
here's how some specific choices they made undermine all that shit we talked about earlier from the first game.
once again, kiryu is called by date to live, to pick himself up and keep going, no matter how impossible the odds are. he's even reminded by haruka's presence, his one anchor in keeping himself going. the growth he had in the parallel scene in the previous game is challenged, and he fails.
it's not enough this time. and that's a choice.
it's also one i can't think of a good reason for, and that's the real kicker.
characters can have developmental backslide just like people do, and if they're given good reason for it, it can be just as, if not far more compelling that purely linear growth (i am a chimera ant arc enjoyer, and that's all i'll say. sorry if you haven't seen hunter x hunter. uhh. i am also a zuko avatar enjoyer if that helps). but i can't think of anything that happened in that game that would cause this from a character perspective. if anything, kiryu should be less likely to do this intentionally. he's spent around a year raising haruka, and a year has passed since he lost his loved ones. at the very least, the pain should be more dull, though it is established through an early nightmare sequence that his ass is (justifiably) not over it yet. given that their deaths were the initial motivation for his willingness to rot forever, theoretically, he should be more motivated to stay alive than before now that he's got more investment and stability in his life outside of them, particularly when it comes to haruka, his reason for surviving. and if the ongoing nature of the trauma was the motivator for this, then they should've had it affect him more past that nightmare scene (it really serves more as a recap of the last game than anything else) so it didn't come out of nowhere. so the reminder of the lesson that saved his life and then guided it for at least a year afterwards, one that the whole resolution of the previous game relied on heavily falls flat for... some reason.
i think this is a good time to mention that, generally speaking, you don't write arbitrary choices into characters. sure, people in real life are often sporadic, but when analyzing fictional characters, every choice is filed into a portfolio of characterization that can and should be analyzed. going for pure realism can obfuscate their development, motivations, themes, etc. their choices and reactions may be unorthodox, but they must be internally consistent. this is very related to how i view plot contrivance as well. characters drive the plot, not the other way around. stories are about the ways characters affect their worlds/lives and vice versa, and they're the human face to the themes and ideas the writers are trying to explore and express. maybe my stance on this seems hypocritical. i don't know if it is. but to me, plot issues are usually a matter of engagement and investment, while character issues are a matter of substance.
i hope this doesn't feel patronizing explaining all of this, but i want you guys to know where i'm coming from in my analysis. starting at my base philosophy on writing is the easiest way to do that, i feel. defining the terms of the debate, and all that. anyway
and i mean, look. they survive because "it was defused the whole time we just didn't see it happen", so it's not like narrative tension or realism or whatever was THAT big of a priority overall. if it was gonna be a cop-out anyway, they should'nt have ruined kiryu's development too, yeah?. and sayama fucks off to america after this game anyway, so it's not like the doomed lovers thing had much payoff or meaning after this one (though you could argue that's more an issue with yakuza 3 than yk2, which has some merit to it). which means that they chose to sacrifice kiryu's prior development and internal logic for the sake of cheap tension for their finale that was both kinda illogical in and of itself (the elevator!! the elevator!!!) and a romantic climax that neither required nor really benefitted from this staging. (like. you coulda had them make out and then get saved by date, or kiss on the elevator in a "it's moving, but will we make it in time??" way or whatever. look i'm not saying those are great options either but they're SOMETHING okay. it would remove/reduce the amount of time wasted on characters sitting around with their thumbs up their asses for no reason in this finale).
instead the message of this finale is that, actually, sometimes it is impossible to change your circumstances and fight for your own way out of an awful situation. and what should you do about this unfortunate truth? uh. die! i guess. it's the exact opposite of the encouraging, optimistic message of the last game. zetsubou chou pride my ass.
note: i feel i should mention that when suicidality is brought up within the series (particularly in substories), it is always something someone has to overcome themselves through wanting it badly enough. they simply need the inspiration and the motivation to keep going. it's arguably treated as a moral obligation. frankly, the series is broadly very meritocratic (<- bad) when it comes to this topic (and others, but that's a Whole Other Thing. see akiyama's weird loan shark tests as well). sheer will and resolve is enough to conquer any problem, be it physical or mental/emotional, and it's irresponsible to act/feel otherwise. this is the logic the games operating under, and kiryu is often the mouthpiece for this bootstrap-pulling "tough love" sentiment. so when kiryu "chooses" to die, yet faces no emotional fallout from date, haruka, or anyone else, it feels very out of place. it's not just an odd choice; it's specifically, once again, an odd choice to make in context of the game/series/character it appears in.
kiryu's just like eh, haruka'll watch her only family die right as she gets some sense of tentative stability and lets her guard down after a devastating month the year prior (and a relatively dismal upbringing before that) that we trauma bonded over. sure, she likely came to view me as the one who would stay no matter what, who was too strong to be taken out, who she could always rely on, and so i know that dying would hurt her immensely, but she's smart enough to know it'd happen eventually. her eventual recovery means it's okay for me to do this (somehow, in a way it wasn't in the first game). it's an excuse within the narrative's logic, and one it is uncritical of simply because it's kiryu. he gets a pass.
and i think with the previously mentioned passive suicidality and general series-long mental health issues kiryu displays (i mean. yakuza 5's literally his depression arc), this could be retroactively seen as an interesting choice, like a piece in that particular narrative. i don't even dislike that viewing, especially in terms of fan approach. but (assuming this went down the same in yakuza 2), they likely didn't have that in mind. all they had then was the first game and the movie. and they took the first game's Entire Message and contradicted it for nothing but a scene they wanted to have happen because it'd be suspenseful and/or emotional (without actually doing the work to earn it). and they're not fans trying to analyze his character, they're the ones making choices for him. and they chose to massacre my boy. and if the subject of kiryu's mental health was a priority of theirs, why didn't they explore that? haruka and date's feelings on him not resisting and their words not being enough (whether that blame is justified by the narrative or not (it shouldn't be btw)), the uncomfortable drifting that resigning yourself to death and living afterwards anyway often brings, literally any conversation about it besides the minimal shit we get post credits of date being like "did you know about the bomb not having a fuse?" which like. bad answer either way (which is why they weren't straightforward about it, the cowards). you can't just be like "oh uh. idk he just gave up this time. yeah he was gonna die on purpose for some reason. good thing the bomb was fake lol" and then pack up and go home!! that's stupid!! any merit the idea of kiryu dying by suicide in this scene and in this way could have had from a character-based perspective loses its weight because 1. it didn't happen (for kinda stupid reasons), which makes it fall flat and 2. no one is really affected by the fact that it almost did, including him. they sacrificed his ass and replaced it with nothing, even when there could have been interesting outcomes to it.
so the narrative effectively chose to kill him by making the situation impossible, and this impossibility is ultimately arbitrary, given the series' usual approach to miraculous, illogical escapes. that, or the choice to stay was up to kiryu and sayama, one that 1. doesn't make sense and is actively regressive in context of kiryu's arc in the only other game in the series (as well as his whole saga in retrospect) and 2. one that contradicts how the series sees/treats resignation to death/death by suicide in all other contexts without being addressed, challenged, or condemned in ways it would in all other contexts. because they don't want you to think about it like that. they want you to think he (and the narrative) had no choice, that it made sense to do that. but it didn't. it doesn't.
and look, honestly? if i was bleeding out and had like 2 minutes to live, there's a non zero chance i'd say fuck it and kiss a girl too. i get it. but i am (and this is crucial) not a fucking yakuza character. and i'm certainly not kiryu kazuma.
tl;dr (basically just rephrasing the second to last main paragraph)
there are not sufficient character reasons for kiryu and sayama not trying to escape. additionally, because the narrative regularly facilitates even less likely escapes, it's not so constrained to logic and reality that it couldn't pull this one off. the choice to let their situation be impossible this one time was a cheap and arbitrary way of forcing a scene they thought would be cool and dramatic, and in doing so they chose to cannibalize a key emotional note of the previous finale (namely kiryu's mission to dedicate his life to protecting haruka) for hollow last minute stakes-upping in this one. it is then completely disregarded anyway. god damn.
#got so into this post that i used tumblr on my laptop for the first time to surpass mobile's image limit#i also added transcriptions in the alt text (which i should do more often)#actually thinking about it in the movie kiryu teaches haruka that lesson about stumbling on.. and she's the one to ask to follow him... hm.#just interesting given that the movie came out before 2. i don't think it makes much of a difference to the post it's just neat to me#one of my favorite parts of writing this was skimming through a bunch of yk1/yk2 cutscenes and noticing how often kiryu pats haruka's head#it happens a lot more than i remembered and it's very sweet to me. get bonked little one <3#another good thing was realizing you can edit tags when you're not on mobile.... fucking life changing. i have lost hours to mobile tag#editing and i'm not even kidding about that#speaking of editing this one took like 6 hours.. my brother used “yakuza autism” (verb) for me earlier and it's so true. source: this post#i did have a short break to get food bc i hadn't eaten all day but that's mostly because i woke up at 3pm. anyway#also if you like kiwami 2's ending you're not even remotely alone. i looked at the comment sections of the scene comps and ppl love it#and more power to you!! i like it when people enjoy things. and tbh i DO have feelings that i'm supposed to about that ending#i just also have feelings you're not supposed to. like. anger. i guess.#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#skrunk meta#aww yeah it's a new tag babeyy#yakuza kiwami 2#kiwami 2#yakuza#like a dragon#yk2#kiryu kazuma#sawamura haruka#sayama kaoru#maybe my thoughts'll change after replaying the games...? it's been like a year and a half since i beat yk2 so i am a bit fuzzy on it#yakuza kiwami spoilers#yakuza kiwami 2 spoilers
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Fun math/counting problem for everyone
Okay so I know this will only be interesting to like maybe one other person but I came across a fun counting problem I wanted to share. For a given number of digits, n, how many numbers have a unique sequence of digits up to permutation? (So to be explicit about what the question is asking, 15 and 51 would both count as the same digit sequence since the digits of 51 are just a permutation of the digits of 15. Also, leading 0s are also included in the number. For example in the four digit case, 15 would be written as 0015.)
If you’re at all math inclined or like number puzzles I do genuinely encourage you to try to figure this question out yourself partially because it's fun but mainly because I’m curious if anyone else can come up with a different/better solution than I did. I'll put my solution under the break. It's half informal proof (making it more rigorous is an exercise for the reader or w/e) and half just like a guided solution. If you're familiar with manipulating sums and can read basic math notation (if you're unfamiliar with the notation when defining the function, don't worry about it, it really doesn't matter I just think it looks pretty) you should be able to follow (hopefully, unless i've done something terribly wrong).
#channel 3#sorry if my solution makes like 0 sense#i've been thinking about this problem for a couple days now#and then i spent too long today writing and rewriting my solution#because originally my goal was to make this unintimidating and easy to follow even if you don't have a lot of math knowledge#but then i realized that was probably a moot goal#(mainly in that i don't think my math communication abilities are that good. i'm sure someone else could do it)#so i just wrote it closer to how i normally write proofs just a bit more conversational/informal and probably less straight to the point#(but i've never been good at going straight to the point with proofs anyway)#and i've sort've gone down the rough draft spiral and can't tell if it only makes sense because i've written it so many times#all that being said if i wasn't clear about something or if you're curious about something let me know and i'll do my best to explain#also if you do have an alt solution let me know!#i know there /has/ to be some solution involving the fact that the diagonals of pascal's triangle are figurate numbers#or some beautiful proof that leverages the question's proximity to combinatorics better than i did
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This past Saturday marked the five year anniversary of Mega Man Ultimate's conception, and my good friends got to see a slides presentation of my sizeable archive of five years worth of concept art and early sprites dating as far back as late 2017!
One such early sprite was the very first stage select portrait for Zap Man, in which I had drawn him in a front-facing angle rather a 3/4ths angle. My sister @stephysalcido suggested I ought to remaster Zap Man's original stage select portrait, and what I ended up with not only exceeded my expectations but looks wicked cool too! 💙✨
#Star's Art#Mega Man Ultimate#Rockman U: The Renegades Rise#Mega Man#Rockman#Zap Man#SLN-001#Synth Legion Numbers#Sprite Art#Coolness#Yep you read that right... Mega Man Ultimate not only became a concept five years ago#But it's also goes so far back that it predates Mega Man 11 in terms of when that installment released!#You can be certain that I had a LOT of concept art drawn in that five year timespan... more than enough to fill a slides presentation XD#We're talking SIXTY SLIDES OF ART#I honestly might tweak it ever so slightly and make it public in case any of my followers would like to see it!#That aside this latest iteration of Zap Man's portrait is all thanks to my sister for selling me the idea of respriting it#She suggested it could be like a 'secret portrait' should you 'press a certain button combination' and I love that idea to pieces#Since Zap Man and Amazon Man have portrait alts drawn for them I may just make a few more#It'd be interesting to see a 3/4ths angle Geyser Man for example. Or even a front-facing Strafe Man!#AND WHAT IF THE WHOLE STAGE SELECT IS A DIFFERENT COLOR TOO#Wily Wars gets to have all the fun with stage selects that aren't explicitly blue#... come to think of it... I STILL need to finalize Mega Man Ultimate's stage select to post here#Once I redraw Strafe Man's icon to better resemble his redesign it should be ready to go! 💙✨
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HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
#2022 hadn't been the best for me#but this little blog helped keep me sane#SO for this year im trying to have more fun#namely by: 1) being more active on discord lol#2) writing more fic!!#3) being more diligent with providing alt text in my image posts hehe#4) curating my dash and actually committing to following people instead of just stalking their tumblrs randomly (sorry bout that)#5) and being more unapologetic about what makes me happy and what just. doesn't. (but still being a decent person about it all ofc)#i am awkward and painfully shy when it comes to first contact (and sooo bad at keeping in touch) BUT i am Nice I Promise <3#kit things#stargate fandom#*insert athosian forehead greeting but with more force coz im also secretly a dick*
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OKAY LETS TRY THIS AGAIN
i know i posted this once before but i forgot abt it. SO. gimme six characters!!!!
#sixfanarts#if you follow me you know my interests probably LMAO#centaurworld is a new one tho!#also if we're mutuals feel free to gimme ur ocs >:3#six fanarts#alt text added
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People are tagging my last piece with art inspo 😳 does this mean I’ve made it
#also someone went through and added image descriptions to a bunch of my art that didn't have them#THANK YOU#that was very sweet#I'm working on having alt text for everything I post now that it's a feature of tumblr#but I'm still figuring out what the best way of doing that is#and reading through someone else's descriptions of my art is super helpful#also HI to everyone who's followed me lots of <3 <3 <3 to all of you
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