#also excuse the lame disclaimer

[multiwreckedmess]

Kinktober Day 22

Prompt: Intercrural (Thighs) Pairing: exboyfriend!Yunho x fem!reader   WC: 1.4k Summary: It’s not cheating. He swears it’s not cheating. Neither of you are cheating. And he’s an expert. This is a work of fiction, it does not represent Yunho or any Ateez member. On top of this it is an 18+ work. For my comfort and boundaries please if you are under age do not interact with this. I feel the need especially with “rougher” prompts like this to put the disclaimer - fanfic should NOT ever be used as a guide to relationships or sex. ESPECIALLY SEX. Again, it’s fiction. Stuff gets glossed over for the sake of a good story. Please PLEASE please again, not fact, not a guide, just a fantasy. Additional TW/CW below the cut.

TW/CW: DUBIOUS CONSENT (reader doesn’t say yes but also doesn’t say no). Cheating, bodily fluids, dry humping, wet humping, gets real close to “just the tip” territory. no penetration. cumming in underwear. reader is called “princess” and “babe”. yunho is kinda a shitty person in this.

Once a cheater always a cheater.

 Yunho finds you in the kitchen. It’s an old habit. An old habit he’s willing to exploit. Scrubbing away at the pile of dishes you don’t even look up, the rushing faucet and din from the living room covering his footsteps. The second you were overwhelmed you’d retreat here, a safe place to hide while your boyfriend entertained the guests. Mostly his guests. Not your guests, Yunho makes the careful distinction to himself. You’d even do this at your friend houses if you needed.  “Princess,” he whispers low in your ear.  Silverware clatters against the metal basin as you drop it, spinning, back flat to the tile. A team scores in the background, whoops and hollers covering the lesser chaos in the sink.  “Yunho, you can’t be here, with me, like that.” You lean back and away, nearly toppling into the running water.

 “He hasn’t complimented you enough tonight, Princess,” Yunho’s hushed tone is silky smooth, leaving a trail of goosebumps down your arms. “Not enough for me, anyway. Has he even said anything tonight after all the time you spent getting his little party ready? I know he didn’t do it. He’s not the finger food type, more of a pizza and beer kind of man.”  “No-” you stutter and sigh. The excuses fight over themselves on your tongue, unwilling to be the first to be lamely bleated out from your fumbling lips.  “Someone should say it then.”  You turn your back to him to hide your expression. Yunho knew you too well. You couldn’t look him in the eyes when he pulled this sort of thing. This toxic messy game he liked to play, that you indulged in masochistically. As if your relationship had ever been anything but messy. That’s how you knew the second he started on his promises if you looked him in the eyes it would be all over for you.

 Two long arms wrap around your middle, large hands holding your hips ever so slightly. Your back is buffeted by a fuzzy sweater and wide shoulders. “You can’t do that here!” Your hushed exclamation protests too hard to be real. You were never a good actress.  “Only here?”  “Yunho! I’m-if people see they might think-”  “That you’re cheating? But I’m just helping you with the dishes,” you can almost hear the cheeky grin in his tone as he grinds into the cleft of your ass. “Come on Princess, you know how much I love helping.”  The fabric of your skirt starts hitching higher and higher, exposing the tops of your gartered thigh high stockings. The bulge in his pants bumps against you, still as large as you remember.  A zip, a singular telltale zip. Another cheer from the living room.  “Are you going to fuck me?” You ask half hoping, half dreading.  “That’d be cheating, Princess. As you said you’re spoken for again, for now.” His length brushes against the ridges of your lace panties, the tug of fabric tingling your clit. “And you wouldn’t want to cheat would you? You’re a good girl.”  “You would.”  The puff of air that escapes his nostrils tickles the back of your ear. You squirm. “You’re right. I would.” Yunho replies. Goosebumps cover your arms, it’s wrong. It’s so wrong. You bite the insides of your cheeks as you feel him slip between the soft tops of your inner thighs. The tip of his cock pokes out of the other side of your thighs, cool air contrasting with the heat of your body. Your thighs grow more slick as the leaking precum smears between them, lubricating each drag.

 The water still runs into the sink, thundering louder than your heart.  “I can’t,” you whisper meakly, more to yourself than to him. Knees knocking into eachother the tops of your thighs press into the cupboard doors. Your cunt throbs shamelessly in your panties, slowly soaking through the fabric. The slight bunching of the lace pulling up into your slit only serves to frustrate you.  Yunho curls over you, hot breath fanning over your collarbone as his chin rests on your shoulder. “You really think he’ll care about this matching set you’ve put on? Will he even look at you long enough to notice it? No. I bet he fucks you blindly without a single fucking thought in that empty skull of his.” The snear in his voice is unmistakable. Long fingers pull your panties down just enough to wrap around him, holding him close to your slit as he continues to grind against you. Finally he’s close enough to brush against your clit occasionally with a well angled thrust. “Bet he wouldn’t even notice if your panties were full of cum already.”  “Yuyu,” voice airy and distant, you push your ass back into him. It’s to push him away, you try to rationalize, It’s to give yourself some space. It’s definitely not to encourage him. It’s not to better angle yourself to align with him. “I’m not a cheater.”  Another cheer from the living room goes unnoticed by the both of you.  “Not if it doesn’t go in, Princess.” Yunho chuckles low in his throat. “And you wouldn’t want to ruin that good girl image would you? Not with a guy like me. No matter how much your princess parts might ache for it.”  His mock sympathy has you biting back moans. Knuckles white as you grip the edge of the sink harder, slipping on the metal. Large hands holding you in place as he uses you, sandwiched between your puffy slick heat and the cool damp lace of your underwear. The ridges and veins of his shaft tease your oversensitive pussy. He’s right, it’s been too long since someone else made you cum. Burning need courses in your blood, boiling your insides.

 The tip catches dangerously on your entrance, both of you gasping as he threatens to breach that tiny caveat he’d established. Part of you wishes he would. You want him to press forward, bully his cock that much farther in. Fill you like he used to. Damn the consequences, damn you.  His knowing chuckle, warm breath fanning over your ear, jolts you from your wild fantasy. Yunho knows. He knows he never really could leave you. Hips circling with yours, you’re on the precipice of something neither of you can take back. Or maybe it was already too late. Your heart thuds and head spins. For a second you consider doing it yourself as he leaks a steady stream of precum into your eager walls. Your hips even test it, backing slightly farther against him, the tense ring of muscle flexing just enough to prevent a larger mistake than you were already making.  “I wonder if you still feel like me or if he’s managed to take that from me too.”  You half expect him to end with a long smooth thrust into your walls, stretching you around him while the water in the sink runs cold. Instead he slips down again, hands squeezing your thighs tighter as he chases his high. Its just enough stimulation to tease you, have you hot from more than just the steamy water. The cover of dishes long forgotten you brace yourself on the sink. Hell would be cooler than this. His pace accelerates as his fingers find your clit through the soaked fabric of your underwear. Sticking to you he circles and circles as your thighs clench.   “Can you feel what you do to me princess? Take some responsibility.”  “Fuck you.”   Your breath catches on the last word, cumming quietly as he presses both of your hips into the side of the counter. Shame floods your face as you feel his teeth graze the skin of your neck. It’s not enough to leave a mark but enough to leave a mental impression. An invisible white hot brand burned into the nape of your neck.   Yunho mouths wet open kisses in the same spot as hot sticky cum spills into your underwear, coating the outside of your sex and leaking into the inside of your skirt. Panting, his breath catches with each refractory twitch of his cock. The insides of your thighs clean him as he pulls from you, tucking back into his pants as if nothing had happened.  “BABE! HUN? BEER ME.”  “I gotchu bro,” Yunho yells back, nonchalantly popping the cap off a bottle on the counter. You can barely look him in the face as he turns to leave the kitchen with a wink.

Good god i like writing yunho as actual trash. i feel like the hotter and nicer the guy is as an idol the more i just want to write the polar opposite for them.

[everythingmp3]

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 ✧

adult!Van x fem!reader (smut)

you´ve been dating Van for a while and a heated argument turns into something else, when you can’t hide that her rage is kind of a turn on.

minors dni. warnings: bottom!reader, fingering, slight degradation/domination

(disclaimer: a little longer/more plot, inspired by the few outbursts we see from Van in the show, hate sex if you wanna call it that but also more to it. anyway, I hope it conveys the vibe i was going for! enjoy xx)

fights were a rare occurrence for you and Van. you could count on one hand the amount of times you´d actually gotten loud with each other, but there was a through-line with all the fights, the same issue connecting them all: Van refusing to let you in. there were moments when you could tell that something had triggered a memory in her, which made her shut down completely but she refused to talk about it or accept help. she´d brush it off, isolate, leave you guessing, and it ate away at you every time. it was not something that happened often, but that night it just rubbed you the wrong way and it escalated to a fight. you were standing in the living room, she was by the counter in the kitchen nook, both of you pretty riled up at that point, arguing from across the room.

"you don´t tell me shit, Van, ever! I have told you everything about myself, all of it, yet you don´t tell me anything!" you said, visibly pissed off, she shook her head, eyes intense, hands grabbing the counter for support, "that´s not true. i tell you things all the time".

"you know what i fucking mean, not the things that matter! not the reason you sometimes get that look and space out and get all strange for an entire night. how do you think that makes me feel, to not be trusted with any of it?".

"it´s not about trust, i´ve said this a million times! it´s about protecting you, not dragging you into it!" she yelled, arms gesturing wildly, you just scoffed at that, "bullshit, that´s bullshit Van, i am grown, i can take it and you know it. that´s a lame excuse for your inconsiderate way of shutting me out" you were tired of the same old argument.

she got even louder then, "you have no idea what you´re fucking talking about. the kind of shit i am dealing with, that´s not for you to know, okay, it´s better this way."

"you seem to have no idea what´s better for me"

"oh really?" a sudden quietness to her tone that somehow sounded more threatening, she went over to you then, getting closer. "you think i´m wrong? you wanna know about all the fucking horror in my head? you think that´s what you need from me?", she was almost backing you against the wall then, her eyes burning into yours, her stance solid and unmoving, her chest visibly flushed from the anger. you nodded, challenging her.

"yeah? okay, you asked for it", she became spiteful, it all bubbled up in her then, "what detail do you need, huh? that i survived those 19 months in the woods by fucking eating people, friends, teammates, that i did that", you were staring at her then, your eyes fixed on hers, breath shallow, she was seething, "that they weren´t all natural deaths, that we we hunted them like animals, that we set traps, that we turned into fucking monsters out there, that i know the look of human flesh so well, that i get nauseous when i cut my finger. that´s what you wanna hear, yeah? that i was a brutal evil person, that i am scared i might still be? you happy now?" the pain in her voice was just as strong as her anger then, and all you could do was stare at her, take it all in, the sight of her overflowing with everything she´d left unsaid for so many years, her body practically on fire. in that moment, it struck you, all at once, how her strong deep voice, her attempt to corner and intimidate you, the animalistic look in her eyes, her unusual meanness; it was so different to her usual sweet way with you, that it stirred something deep inside of you. it wasn´t intentional, it just happened, your body, a sudden visceral need, a primal kind of pull towards her. you were trying to mask it but not very successfully, at first she mistook your wide eyes and shallow breath for fear, but then, she noticed it, she knew your body too well not to sense the shift, she shook her head in disbelief, leaning closer to you.

"are you fucking turned on right now?" she hissed, her eyes unrelenting, searching your face for an answer you weren´t willing to give, "you are, aren´t you? fucking hell. here i am eaten up by guilt because i am being a bitch to you and you´re getting off on it??" she was at a loss, she expected disgust, fear, shock, but not that, not the look on your face that you usually gave her when you were extremely desperate for her. "oh, so now you can´t talk back anymore, yeah?" she came even closer then, close enough to make you fully back against the wall, her breath so close you could feel it on your lips, trying not to make a sound, initially she was baffled, then something crept up in her: satisfaction. she realized she had the upper hand, which was delicious after a fight where she felt cornered, you could see it in her eyes, the switch, and you knew you were fucked.

"speak." she demanded in a stern tone, hands on your arms then, pinning you to the wall, it was horrible how hard it was not to moan just from that, your voice wavering as you returned her gaze, "i told you, i can take it.", you did it on purpose and she knew it, that way of wording it, rubbing it in her face, the repetition of earlier words suggestive then because the air was so charged, she pushed even closer to you then, fingers digging into your wrists, restraining you, "oh yeah? is that what you wanted all along? for me to be brutal and make you take it?" emphasis on the last words, almost a kind of disdain in there, "careful what you wish for" she said before pushing her knee up between your legs in one hard motion, making immediate contact with your pelvis, a sensation so violently arousing you let out a pathetic moan, wincing from it, she kept her knee there, not moving an inch, but you were stubborn, trying hard to not give her what she wanted, stifling the other sounds that were forming in your throat, so she moved her knee up against your most sensitive area through the fabric, you were whining then, breaking, losing your composure second by second, a slight grin on her face, not a generous one.

"fucking slut" the word hitting you across the face, she was not into degrading you, quite the opposite, the list of sweet names she called you during sex endless, so the harsh tone as she spat that out made you even more dizzy with heat, with the need for her to just have her way, and by that point she was deeply into the dynamic of it all, not truly angry anymore but riled up, willing to be rough, if that was what it was going to take to make you fold. you tried leaning forward to kiss her, but she let go of one of your hands and put her forearm across your chest, pressing you into the wall to keep you from doing something tender, shaking her head "i don´t think so", you were begging her then, "please just.." , an intense expression on her face as she groped your tits pretty hard, forcing more whining out of you, making you surrender, "jesus fuck i´m sorry okay".

you crying those words out softened her a little but she could tell you weren´t actually trying to apologize, you were just desperate to have her fuck you, which she couldn´t deny, so she wasted no time, "what´s that, i didn´t hear you?" she teased, as she took advantage of the fact that you´d already showered and changed, just loose sweatpants and no underwear in the way, her cold hand on your cunt in one second, a sharp breath in from you at the contact, "fuck you" you uttered, not very convincingly, shutting your eyes, she was only pushed further by that, "oh okay I see" she leaned forward, her hot breath on your cheek then, as she felt how wet you were, practically leaking, not even needing to push her fingers between your lips to feel it slick against her skin, usually she´d be gentle but in that moment she couldn´t be, pushing two of her fingers all the way into you without warning, no mercy, a loud cry escaping you then, immediately thrusting her fingers into you repeatedly, while still having you pinned against the wall, her breath ragged against your skin, her voice low and sultry, "this is what you wanted, isn´t it?".

Van was enjoying it, the power, there was a slight pain from her relentless motion but it just added to your arousal, you´d gotten soaked enough for it to feel good, the sudden change from zero to a hundred, your moans almost pornographic then, your walls throbbing around her knuckles, she leaned down, not to kiss you but to leave bites all over your shoulder, your neck, teeth digging in just enough to drive you insane, "fuck Van" you kept pleading, as she was doing her best to push you towards an orgasm, hitting the right spot, doing so with more force than usual, not wanting you to savor it but to be overwhelmed by it, pleasure as punishment, something like that, your hands were free to move again by that point, so your nails were digging into her back hard as you were chest to chest, she had no words left in her as she felt you cumming against her fingers, increasingly turned on herself, mind blank, groaning so close to your ear it just made you finish even harder, her fingers not slowing dow at all while you felt your whole body shaking, once your grip on her loosened she finally let you go, backing away from the wall, panting, her hand cramped up at that point, collecting her thoughts as you almost collapsed to the floor because your legs were done for, so you stumbled over to the couch, falling down against the cushions, exhausted.

the second Van turned and saw you resting there like that, she felt a wave of guilt rushing over herself, she was coming back to her senses and it hit her like a ton of bricks; that all you were trying to do during the fight was to get close to her, that all you ever fought her on was her unwillingness to let you be there for her during her darkest moments. you were younger than her, yet more patient, more emotionally available, which made her feel awful all of a sudden. she walked over to sit down next to you, giving you some space for a moment, the two of you just sitting there in silence, until she turned to you, reaching for your hand, her voice soft and quiet:

"hey, listen. I think I owe you an apology." you shook your head, "it´s fine really don´t-" she interrupted, "no, no i do. you weren´t saying anything crazy, it obviously just hit a nerve because it was true. i should be grateful you want to help me. sorry, really. i´m fucking stupid sometimes." a faint smile from you then, you slowly climbed over to her, half on her lap then, hands in her hair, "it´s fine. you know, i just wanted to make it clear, that nothing you could say or reveal about your life would make me leave you, ever. but i get that it´s hard to talk about it, so i´m sorry if i forced something out of you." her hands on your back then, under your shirt, caressing you as she stared up at you, enjoying the feeling of your fingers pushing her hair back, "stop that, you´re being too sweet, i don´t deserve that right now, not after all that..", you grinned then, amused "right, after calling me a slut", Van shook her head,"god don´t even-", you laughed then, "didn´t know you had all that in you", she was glad you weren´t truly hurt by it, joking about it, her gaze fell to a spot on your shoulder where she´d left a rather prominent bite mark, "jesus christ i really need to get a grip" one of her fingers tracing it, you shook your head, grinning, "oh, that part you don´t have to apologize for. I think it´s hot when you get like that. as you clearly realized and took advantage of", nudging her as you said this, she smiled then, "i did like seeing that look on your face" she admitted, a grin, "but don´t get used to it, i like this much better", leaning in and placing a tender kiss on your shoulder, your neck, pulling your face down to lazily press her lips against your cheek, your temple, your forehead, hearing you sigh softly, pulling away after a while to face you again.

"trying to make up for something there, Palmer?" you teased, hands on her neck, she eyed you, head tilted to the side, smiling, just taking in the view of your flushed face, "i think i can do better than that if i´m really trying to make it up to you", you raised your eyebrows, "oh yeah?", she nodded, hands on your waist then, pulling you closer, "yes. I´ll have to get on my knees to really deserve forgiveness, don´t you think?", your eyes wide then, impressed by her sudden smoothness, "i won´t stop you from trying", your lovestruck eyes giving away that she was of course already forgiven, feeling her shift from underneath you, pulling you up, "come on then, let´s go to bed" a gentle squeeze on your hand, making you realize that her being rough had its appeal, but would never compare to the feeling of her being all sweet and loving.

it didn´t fail to make her emotional that night; the realization that you truly did not care about what she´d shared with you, that you still saw her as just as worthy of your love as before. it would lead to her spoiling you even more the days and weeks after, if that was even possible.

[magdolslut]

Evil, But Lame

(Why I dislike Leighton more than Bailey or Whitney)

DOL Character Analysis/Comparison (sort of)

Disclaimer:

This post contains Degrees of Lewdity (DOL) content and spoilers, as such sexual themes and violence. No minors allowed.

Please don't take the listed explanations below as 'excuses' for criminal behaviour. I am not defending or condoning the actions done by these fictional characters.

Also, the sprites are just the result of me fucking around Character Viewer + bad edits.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Everything and everybody sucks in DOLville (or my other favourite nickname - Rapechestershire), but in my books, Leighton deserves a special mention. 

This dastardly disgusting failure of an educator cultivated within me a personal vendetta and now I always make it a point to antagonise them and make them the butt-monkey in all my playthroughs. The reasons are as follows:

They love to power-trip and lord it over students and teachers alike.

Their demeanour is so slimy. Compared to two other ‘villains’, he’s all gross but no substance (at this rate, their personality can be used as mediocre lube). 

Bailey (the main villain) is impassive and mostly fearless, and Whitney (the school bully) is sometimes so over-the-top that it comes across as theatrical (which makes sense - they’re putting on a show for their gang and the nearby audience) that I don’t take them seriously (most of the time).

I currently have minimal info on Leighton’s backstory, but I have yet to see a ‘sympathetic’ reason for their actions and behaviour.

Leighton's victim count is high and he has been blackmailing/molesting students for decades, and it’s not a stretch to say that he’s probably a big reason why so many adults (Spoiler: D) in town are also traumatized or fucked up.

He revels in the current power structure and town dynamics, while Bailey (implicitly) and Whitney (explicitly) acknowledges how fucked up everything is.

Also, here’s a comparison (again, I only included Bailey and Whitney as these are the two ‘antagonistic’ characters I have the most interactions with):

Vs. Bailey

Bailey’s motivation is primarily money. They will blackmail you (among other things) for profit, whereas Leighton will blackmail you to satisfy his lust and ego.

I can respect Bailey's character (not his actions 😭) -  they’re callous and ruthless, but they’re also strong and reliable. Personality-wise, I like that they’re impassive, calculating, and dangerous, fitting for the overarching villain. Bailey generally won’t regard you lustfully, unless you go out of the way to do so (cough Troublemaker cough). While steep, their payments do have a cap. Also, I personally believe they dislike orphans who play it safe to gain money because they themselves got their hands really dirty to make money (like the PC, potentially).

Defeating Bailey is also incredibly difficult...because they're impossibly fit and tenacious.

Leighton is petty (they will retaliate if you blackmail him), weak-willed, complacent, (his computer is easier to break into and he easily gets distracted by his own lust), and a serial molester (with a high victim count and long track record - it’s not a stretch to say that he’s probably a big reason why so many adults in town are also fucked up).

Defeating Leighton is way easier and he’ll throw a lame insult at you afterwards.

In terms of administration, I dare say Bailey’s better at running the Orphanage than Leighton running the School.

Spoiler: IIRC, Bailey was also an Orphan, he made the Orphanage better since the last caretaker, and he also has debt. I believe the money they collect from the orphans goes into that debt.

Vs. Whitney:

There’s little revealed about Whitney’s actual motivations but their demanding and bullying behaviour is most likely because of their personal circumstances, the need to gain status, and maintain the approval of their gang. In the most sympathetic light, they’re a neglected teenager who thinks being bigger and badder is the best way to protect themselves in a shitty town. Private moments (esp as an LI and w/o his gang’s influence) show they can be rather responsible and capable of showing concern for the PC.

By contrast, Leighton is an adult authority figure who perpetuates systematic abuse and currently shows no sign of remorse as this helps to keep themselves in power. With their backstory unrevealed, they’re just a pervert who likes preying on the young and vulnerable. They either view you as “Oh, you’re still here?” or “I’m gonna have my fun with youuu”🤮

As shown in some Whitney scenes, Leighton still has some sort of control over Whitney (they give Whitney lighter punishments in exchange for keeping other students in control, and even Whitney won’t refuse a summon from the Headteacher) and most likely has the means to harshly punish Whitney if they’re not useful to them anymore.

You can make Whitney pay for their crimes or retaliate against them, but Leighton, as a major figure in town, can easily get off scot-free (in most cases).

While Whitney will pimp you out (which I hate, they're my primary LI ffs, I really hope this improves in future updates), you can escape some encounters (if you have high Athletics or they have Low Dom) and he mostly does so for the money (they even split the profit with you in one encounter lol). Leighton will force you to have noncon sex (with other students or a freaking dog) as a punishment.

Tbh, both are bad: Whitney can also force you into noncon but they can be fought off easily and they often do so in the spur-of-the moment if you defy them (please don't interpret this as excusing this unhinged behaviour), but Leighton plans their attack, coerces multiple students, and records it for blackmail, which I think is more damaging to multiple parties and harder to navigate (game-wise).

Honestly, Whitney, if left unchecked and goes the criminal route, can probably end up similarly like Leighton (abusing power), but I imagine they’d be more dangerous and calculating as an adult (more similar to Bailey, but cockier).

And if you guys are interested, here’s what I’ve done as revenge so far 😈:

Overpowered him (as a Tiny MC) during his spanking detentions with an audience

Humiliated him and made them cum (Feat: Leighton’s Nightmare)

Eloped with someone else during the aftermath of their card game victory 

Pegged them and took their butt v-card (in their own words: “Yes! Make me your strap-on bitch!”)

In progress: Sending him to the Pillory during the Police Infiltration quest

In conclusion: Leighton is a slime ball, currently has no sympathetic reasons for their behaviour, and is an old pervert with an ego. I also like picking on them but I have to say, my initial vehemence for them has now softened into petty annoyance (possibly even grudgingly fond).

If you read up to here, bless you. Gotta go make cream buns now.

~ Magda's Maker

[eatabubble]

Scaredy cat

Reader x Finney Blake

Summary: Finney has a little crush on you and has for awhile but doesn’t want to ask you out because he’s nervous. However Gwen calls it something else, making him want to do something about it.

Disclaimer ?: overuse of words like ‘finally’ and ‘so’ and maybe too many commas x . x

A/n It’s been a long time since I’ve written on here but I was bored so here we are. Pretty sure the fandom is mildly dead but idk sorry y’all. I hope you like it and I do take requests, if anyone wants those, I’ll try my best. This isn’t written well I know so I’m sorry but hopefully you give it a chance 🙏🏽

Word count: 723 (pretty sure)

Gwen knew almost immediately. Her brother couldn’t even look your way without a rosy pink dusting over his features. In fact, according to her anyone who couldn’t see his interest in you, must be blind. So, as any nice sister would do (according to her, again) she decides it’s a good idea to push and tease her brother until he finally asks you out.

—

During lunch, Gwen again catches Finney dozing off in your direction, she finds an opportunity.

“Finneyyyy” as she drags out his name he suddenly turns back to his food tray and with a monotone voice says “no” “I’m not going to ask her out” and Gwen suddenly turns to look at him pleadingly. “Oh come on Finney, you know you want to!” Finney rolls his eyes “plus, you know she might feel the same way about you, I’ve caught her looking at you a couple times, she’s also really nice to you, surely that means something” she adds.

“No, that barely says anything about how she feels about me, and if I do have a chance I don’t want to weird her out like that” Finney knows you most likely, wouldn’t ever find anyone weird, but like most, his insecurities blur his confidence in walking up to you. In doubt that you’ll end up finding him weird.

Finally, Gwen gives up, bored with the same lame excuse, but not without a final push. “Fine, you little scaredy cat” she goes back to finish drinking her small carton of orange juice and forgets the conversation.

However, for Finney he seems to have mixed feelings about what his sister called him. Obviously it’s normal behavior from his sister towards him but he starts to wonder that if anything his sister said was true, and you do like him somehow and your just waiting for him to make a move, would you also consider him a “scaredy cat.” So, he wonders and wonders, then finally comes up with a conclusion/ solution.

——

It’s the last bell of the day and Finney has worked to push away his doubts during his last classes, then finally by telling himself to stop being scared he’s all in with his plan.

Finney finds you rather quick waiting for your bus and he approaches you finding the opportunity to ask what he’s been anticipating and anxious about.

You quickly catch him walking up to you from the corner of your eye and turn to face him as he gets closer, and with a small smile and wave, you greet him.

“Finney, Hi!”

He returns and kindly accepts your greeting with his own shy one “Hey”

And so he figures he didn’t really come up with a plan to do this so you two are just standing there for a good few seconds. He realizes he’s backing down, but you start small talk and he appreciates it, as it gives him some time to recollect himself enough to finally ask you out.

“Do you wanna hangout some time?” And as casual and upfront as he said it, he felt like he was about to die. He didn’t lead up to the question and instead just interrupted you in the middle of your sentence.

Taken aback you take some time to fully comprehend what he just asked, and of course Finney takes it as a bad thing and instantly wants to leave to spare him the embarrassment of your rejection. You finally register what he asked you and you feel like your about to explode. You never made it super obvious but you did like Finney and have for about a little over a year. So you obviously say “Really? Ok! Yes, I’d like to hangout” and you also quickly add “When, Where, what time?”

Finney is shocked and surprised, he didn’t expect such a positive outcome, and he doesn’t really have all the answers but he knows they’ll come soon and so he just gives you his house phone number and asks if you can call him later, that way you guys can decide on a solid answer together.

——

Gwen peeps from the side of a pillar she was hiding behind and although she can’t hear anything she knows what’s going on as she sees everything play out.

And just like that, Gwen’s match making works like a charm.

[mikefaistslut]

anything for you

chapter 1:

(A mike faist fanfic set in spring 2023, as mike is headed to london for the summer to star in Brokeback Mountain. He meets a girl on the plane there, Emma. He falls in love with Emma instantly. Read more to see how their story unfolds. <3)

Disclaimer: this is entirely a work a fiction and has nothing whatsoever to actually do with mike faist.

Rolling out of bed at what I thought was around six in the morning, I began to get dressed and prepare myself for how anxious the airport was going to make me. I’d never been a good flier, especially on flights that lasted longer than a couple of hours. Today, I was set to leave on a 9 hour and 50 minute flight from Columbus, Ohio to London at 10am. This trip was my gift to myself. I’d always wanted to go to London and do every lame tourist activity that I’d always seen in the movies. I wanted to stand outside the gates at Buckingham Palace, attend a service at Westminster Abbey, take a ride on the London Eye, maybe even fall in love with an adorable English man and never go back home to Ohio. I’d been saving for this trip since I got my first job at fifteen. I’d imagine what it felt like to walk through Hyde Park and see a play on the west end while I scooped an ungodly amount of ice cream for strangers.

The hardest part is surviving the flight there. I made sure to get up insanely early and have some me-time before the flight to try and relax myself as much as possible. After fixing myself a cup of coffee and scrolling through my phone for a solid 15 minutes or so, I decided to take a hot shower. This would be an everything shower, seeing that there's no way I could bring along my arsenal of bath products. But I let myself take it slow. After I finished washing and conditioning my hair, I shaved, scrubbed, and exfoliated every inch of my body. I loved the way it felt to be clean and smooth. Especially clean. I had to be clean to feel like my best self and I had to feel like my best self to be relaxed enough to not have an absolute meltdown on this almost ten hour flight I was scheduled to be on. 

By 7:30, I was all ready to go with an uber waiting outside to take me to the airport. I had two weeks worth of clothes, my favorite blanket and pillow in my carry-on, and most importantly, my anti-anxiety medication for when I inevitably begin to panic as soon as the plane door shuts. I was anxious, but also so overwhelmingly excited. I wasn’t going to let my anxiety stand in the way of the trip I’ve been fantasizing about for almost ten years. Not when I was so close. 

Flying wasn’t a new experience to me. There’d been plenty of times when I was a kid that I went on flights with my family, mostly to visit my grandparents in Florida. But this was different. This was around the world. Flying to London also meant going through customs, which was an entirely foreign concept to me. But I was there and I was ready. First things first, I thought to myself as I made my way to my gate after going through TSA, a snack. I bought a latte and a ridiculously overpriced bag of chips and made my way back to my gate to get comfortable. I still had about 30 minutes until my flight was supposed to begin boarding, so I put on my headphones and played some soft music on my phone. Everything was going to be okay, I kept telling myself. It is so incredibly unlikely that my plane is going to crash, I just need to keep myself distracted and everything will be just fine. 

Those 30 minutes went by faster than I expected, and it was time to board. I gathered my things and made my way to the gate. 

“Excuse me! I think you left this behind.” I turned around to the most beautiful face I think I’ve ever seen. Beautiful blue eyes, thin, almond-shaped eyes and a jawline that was so perfectly sculpted. In a hurry to board, I’d left behind my carry-on bag that contained all my essentials. Phone charger, comfort pillow and blanket and anti-anxiety meds. 

“Oh, thank you so much!” And then I thought about it. “How’d you know it was mine?” I asked the handsome stranger. 

“Oh, it just seems to match the rest of your luggage, I guess.” I had a sense that he’d maybe looked my way a couple of times while also waiting to board the plane. Even if I was being totally delusional, it was a nice confidence boost to assume that’s what happened. 

“Right! Well thank you. You boarding this flight too?” 

“Yeah, actually. After you.” He motioned in the direction of the gate attendant waiting patiently for us both to present our boarding pass and board the plane. Without looking behind me, I walked past the gate and down the long hallway to board the plane into business class to find my seat. I splurged a little and went one step past economy class. I had a lot of time to plan and save, you see. As I settled into my seat, I popped an anti-anxiety pill immediately. If I needed to later, I was also going to take a sleeping pill to hopefully make the flight go as fast as possible. As I was taking my pillow and blanket out of my bag to get comfy and settle in for the long plane ride ahead of me, I looked up to see that gorgeous stranger again. 

“Looks like we’ll be getting to know each other a little better.” He smiles as he sits down in the seat right next to mine. He’s so close I can smell his expensive cologne and I wonder how I got so lucky. 

“I’m Mike, by the way.”

[agender-john]

This has been bothering me ever since i first read homestuck sorry i need to yap

Disclaimer vriska serket opinions ahead

Vriska is a bad person right? Like we all know that right?

I'm not even talking about the murder or the war crimes i can excuse that but she's genuinely an asshole to everyone around her right???

Don't get me wrong i love asshole characters as much as the next guy go off girlboss if she stayed the exact same from beginning to end i will not complain I'll eat it up

But she didn't did she? She changed right? At least one version of her

I'm not here to say that ghost vriskas arc is perfect or anything like that but it was the development she needed (IN MY OPINION!!!!!)

She did some self reflection and figured out stuff about herself and came to terms with some of her issues she even looked happier

And that's a good thing right? So why reverse that??? She grew as a person so why is the retcon pretending like vriska has always been the best thing to ever happen to the rest of the characters and that character development is bad actually??

First of all no matter how many cute mini comics you give me you'll never convince me that vriska being there is gonna solve everyones problems like come on she's gonna bully them for having personal problems right? That's literally what she does before the retcon she's literally the reason behind like at least a 1/4 of their problems

Also if you wanna have asshole not dead vriska back that's cool awesome good for you but why are you shitting on ghost vriska so hard?? Like oh vriska will totally cure roses alcoholism and get terezi out of an abusive relationship cause she's cool now but she's still gonna bully her own ghost for having character development cause imagine changing as a person that's loser behaviour soooo lame she's a softie now ewwww

And it even feels like the comic is taking not dead vriskas side like why are you so against vriska becoming a better person? What's so wrong about being a softie or whatever? Do you hate happiness??

And even in the epilogues and beyond canon where ghost vriska isn't really present they keep pretending like vriska is the coolest person ever and that she's always right about everything all the time like that isn't vriska that's what vriska thinks she is she's not supposed to actually be cool she's the only one who thinks she's cool

I just idk i don't really know where I'm going with this ig i really liked the way vriskas arc was going so the retcon was like a personal attack on me in particular am i even making sense at this point

TLDR i don't like how homestuck became the let's talk about how vriska is so cool and awesome comic my girlie ghost vriska deserves better

[leucoma]

here's my (very long) rant about "girl's girls" and the importance of intersectional feminism

i will be blocking anyone who’s unnecessarily rude on this post. i may turn reblogs off if necessary but they’re tentatively on for now

so, i saw this post:

some of y'all really aren't a "girls girls" like you claim. your definition of "girlhood" is pink bows and sharing lipgloss. you repost "female rage" compilations with just conventionally attractive white women. you say "i'm just a girl" after doing something unintelligent. this is just repackaged woman hatred. it's not intersectional. it's shallow and lame.

i don’t necessarily disagree with anything said here, but it was posted by a radfem. and, as a disclaimer, i do identify as transgender (specifically androgyne), but i’m AFAB, i’m typically interpreted as a woman, and intersectional feminism is an essential part of my core beliefs. i have never and will never detach myself from my experiences as someone who grew up experiencing misogyny, but i simultaneously do not see myself as a woman, because that’s simply not my identity at this point in my life.

i think boiling feminism down to an aesthetic and an excuse for “unintelligent” behavior is extremely harmful, and that’s exactly what’s been happening lately. i know the “demure” trend started as a joke, but women who take it too seriously are genuinely causing harm to themselves and others. modesty is all fine and good, but faux modesty in the form of bragging (sometimes to shame others for being unideal in some way) is downright cruel to women in general, and demeaning to the self in the sense that if you label your personality, presentation of self, interests, and behaviors as uniquely feminine traits, you’re putting yourself in a box and saying “look at me, i’m ideal! i’m feminine! that’s how all women should be!” … not to mention all the “girl math” and “i’m just a girl” sorts of phrases that have been repeated endlessly, as referenced in the post i saw.

on the other hand, there’s nothing wrong with expressing femininity. but you must be careful not to gatekeep it. femininity is not just for white women, not just for cisgender women, not just for young women! besides, any gender can express femininity to whatever degree they want. it’s not hurting anyone. (and also, no woman owes society any sort of stereotypical femininity in the first place! someone’s presentation should always be a personal choice!) and i want to emphasize that yes, if you are an adult who identifies as a woman, you can absolutely call yourself a “girl,” but don’t forget that you, too, have responsibilities, and one of those responsibilities is to not downplay your own autonomy in life… consider why you want to be seen as “just a girl.” is it to deflect accusations of wrongdoing? you’re your own person. you control you. claiming otherwise to be cutesy is very, very dangerous to yourself and other women.

i also strongly believe that if you're going to call yourself a girl's girl, you should at least actually work to be a feminist, and incorporate intersectionality into your values, and include trans women in your conversations about gender, whether you "agree” with transgender identities or not (because, let's face it, a stranger's identity and decisions about presentation are not yours to judge if they don't actually affect you, and transgender individuals face a lot of dangers and hardships whether you want to victim blame them for it or not)

tl;dr please stop gatekeeping femininity, and stop playing dumb and ditzy (a crude caricature of femininity) just to feel accepted by society. why should your presentation be the thing that defines you? and if you unironically say you’re “just a girl” as an excuse for harmful actions or as a refusal to learn from life, why are you so opposed to personal growth? focus on your actions as a person instead and let others live!

[berylliumliumite]

I am asking you about Intergalactic Idiots :}

oh em gee!

do you guys ever think about hwo kuiper is portrayed and interpreted by the anons im DYING to talk about how kuiper is portrayed and interpreted by the anons.

ok so this was back in 2019 but it doesn't actually like. excuse anything. so a big thing about this blog is BERYLL AND KUIPER (echo) and their combined ship (which doesnt actually happen yet or maybe never who knows!) KUIBERYLL (echo) and yes personally I ship it but I've grown and learned from my mistakes. okay? okay.

the portrayal of kuiper being soft and anxious baby boy is like. so so so so so awful to me. sorry if you like it but i hate it. that guy is annoying as fuck canonically. and i love him for it. he can be a bit of an asshole and he can stand up for himself. he just actively chooses peace (which isn't always the best decision but its like cmon guys hes like 21 or smth). i think it actively grew out of beryll being like. the cold hard bitch? so that people thought that in order to ship them they needed one of them to be the softboy. soooo not true actually what if they're botha annoying as fuck.

kuiper is also autistic. to me. i dont think he's like annoying to those he knows i think he just doens't know who he should talk to and when. so like he's def def def not annoying if you know him btw! i just htink he doesn't like, know when to stop talking/when to start talking (DISCLAIMER HES NOT ANNOYING BC HES AUTISTIC I JUST THINK THAT BEING AUTISTIC CONTRIBUTES TO THE WAY OTHERS SEE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

also i think kuiper has anxiety and yes he does get scared!! and he wears cute clothes!! and yes that also contributes to the way the blog kiinda babifies him. i dont think hes "baby boy baby" i think hes very much an adult with a real job who built an ENTIRE ASS SHIP BY THEMSELF?

here's a panel that pisses me off!!!

BE REAL. they're an adult!!! they know sex terms!! also beryll isnt a top but whatever. (beryll has also only had free will for like 3-4 years at this point, and yeah while denima probably filled him in on adult shit it makes more sense for me to think BERYLL doesnt know sex terms rather than KUIPER)

i wholeheartedly believe that yeah we were all in high school when this came out. and its 2019. so it'll play a bitinto stereotypes. esp the "softboy" "hardass" gay ship one. but it doesn't have to be like this anymlre.... look to the future. brilliant innovations are being made in the kuiper has gay sex division. and also in the beryll is lame as FUCK division

if i sound mad its because I AM this guy is cute and annoying and can be an asshole! he's clumsy and likes soft things and uses he.they AND HES ANNOYING! AS FUCK! CANONICALLY HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE OTO SAY THSI GUY IS LOUD AS HELL AND DOESN TKNOW WHEN TO SHUT UP!

ok rant over. i probably couldve worded large swathes of this better but thank u for connecting with me over this mwah im not fucking putting this under a readmore so um. listen to my igi kuiper asshole rant boy

[archduchessofnowhere]

Hi :) i know you haven’t finished the series but what do you think of Walli, can you connect to her story or just feel her addition a waste of screen time. I was very attached to Fanny n Marie storyline in s1 n 2, i felt for those characters even tho ik this part is fictional but I don’t feel the same about Walli

Hi! I've only watched up to episode four but I agree that her plotline feels very out of place with the rest of the season's plot. While I still think the way Fanny was introduced in season 1 was dumb (why no one does background check on this series!!!) at least she had a clear role in the story: being Sisi's friend and confident, and her "betrayal" was used to further the development of her character (disclaimer: I disliked Fanny's ending, but it tied up well with the plot). And in season 2 Marie ended up being crucial for Franz's character development (even tho her ending also sucked). Walli and Gustav's connection to the main plot is forced: she was a lady of lady (?) of empress Eugénie and Gustav is the brother of one of the construction worker's Grünne gets involved with. And up to at least episode 4 this affects them in no way: Walli's past as a lady-in-waiting is never mentioned (it seems almost like an excuse to explain why she knows ettiquette) and Gustav doesn't even talk to his brother. And involving Walli with Franz just made no sense. All this may change in the next two episodes, but as of now their plot does feel like filler (not even starting in how this is a lame repetition of the "Fanny infiltrating in the Hofburg as a lady" plotline from season 1)

All that being said I got invested in Walli and Gustav when I started shipping them jkgllhk I fear they'll have an awful ending just like Fanny and Marie but let's hope the writers don't hate me that much!

[oojamaflip-whatchamacallit]

#also a warning now if you have a controlled substance med theres a chance the pharmacy will just deny the coupon#goodrx puts it as a disclaimer on their app#but its very very small#<- had to find out the hard way from trying to buy my t and they just straight up said no. they dont even have to provide an excuse#its lame as fuck

Dudes healthcare is so fake. My ADHD meds are $940 without insurance. But they gave me a website of "coupons" which straight up looks like a scam website, and I got it today for $60! Just a coupon from a random website and it was $900 cheaper. America, I am confusion!! America explain!!

[kirisaki-daichi-scenarios]

someone worth loving | yandere!sakurai ryō x reader

for anon who asked "I missed your Yandere Event 😭😭😭 Does this mean I have to wait for almost a entire year again for Sakurai headcanons content? 👉👈". you'll have to wait another year for hcs but you get the below shit for free :D

(sakurai yandere hcs from the yandere event 2020 here)

cw: a touch of 18+ insinuated; hints of sh + su//ide; mild violence + abuse tactics. when i say yandere, i mean yandere.

Sakurai wants you to kiss him. He wants you to caress his cheeks with those warm fingers of yours, and bring your lips towards his, and murmur into them that you love him. Always will, always have. Sakurai wants to wake up to you covering his face in kisses. He wants to teasingly push you away - “I’m so tired” - but both of you know its just a joke. He could never resist you. And he doesn’t. Wrapping his arms around your neck. Unable to let you go.

Sakurai wants you to touch him. Everywhere, always. He wants your fingers to trace the parts of himself he hates and the parts of himself he loves, to admire his physique, to ghost over the scar he got age 4 on his hip. The feeling of his breath hitching in his throat, overwhelmed by the fact that he is yours and you are his, and that he could be worth anything at all to someone so beautiful, so intelligent, so ethereal. He wants to whine as your hands slip lower, behind his shorts. Your nails lightly scratch small circles into his skin. His hips buck. You hold his face again, and look right into his eyes, and ask him rhetorically how you could ever leave your most favourite boy? Sakurai wants to moan your name again and again until he’s breathless and in tears. He wants to be smothered in your skin. He wants forget that anything exists in the world that isn’t you.

Sakurai wants dates: drawing you in the park, with daisy chains on your head like a crown; sharing the same ice-cream cone and licking the remains off your lips; hand-holding for hours.

Sakurai wants a life for the two of you together. He wants to make you breakfast before you leave for work, to wash the shampoo out of your hair after a long day’s work, and for you to rest your hand on his thigh when you watch TV together.

Sakurai, desperately, just wants to hear the words “honey, I’m home.”

And Sakurai wants to kiss you. He wants to grab you by the collar and bite down onto your neck till it bleeds, to bruise that skin he loves so much, because you keep looking at other fucking guys. Worse: other guys keep fucking looking at you. He wants to be strong for you. To be the strong man, lone wolf, bad guy that everyone loves. To throw you against a table and make you properly beg for forgiveness, forehead touching the ground, crying into the carpet.

Because he knows that that’s why you keep looking away. You don’t want him. You want a man who’s powerful. A real man. And he tells you as much, but you just sigh, smile, and shake your head.

“Don’t be silly, Ryō. As if I’d ever want anyone but you.”

One day he’ll lose his temper with you. All he does with you is apologise - sorry, I touched your hip; sorry, I forgot to return your hoodie; sorry, I messed up, you must hate me now. Please forgive me. I’ll die without you - but you never do the same. Would it be so difficult to, just once, acknowledge that his feelings aren’t delusional paranoia, but, rather, are the product of your behaviour? You keep calling him your best friend, while you spend your evenings sucking off other men.

You’ve been there since day one for me, Ryō. You’re all I need in this world. You and me - dream team.

He knows he deserves better than this. It’s gone on too long. He can’t even pretend anymore that you feel the same as he does, not when you can cast that smile of yours at any man who looks your way. But it’s also too late for him. Unlike you, Sakurai is loyal. He won’t be able to think of another for the rest of his days (till the day comes that you finally push him too hard, and he grabs a knife, points it towards you and then towards himself. Takes you hell with him). He could never look at anyone who isn’t you. Certainly, never smile at anyone.

He’s so good to you. He always walks you home, always tells you how beautiful you look today, how sweet you smell. And he’s never dissuaded by your half-hearted attempts to tell him “Sakurai, stop it, you act like we’re dating” - those stupid little jokes of yours, because it wouldn’t really bother you if you cared about him as much as you say you do. But he accepts your jokes for the sake of the prettiness of your tense smile afterwards. In the same way that he accepts all your flaws.

That’s what worshipping someone is about. Accepting their flaws.

And Sakurai - Sakurai who has long forgotten the time he wrapped his hands around your throat and threatened to kill you, or the time you caught him bleeding out in the bath and he told you that you’d left him no other choice - Sakurai worships you.

He will do what it takes to make sure you remain someone worth worshipping.

a/n: it should go without saying, but sakurai's absolutely delusional in this one. (i kinda ran with an idea of insecure dude + the immense stress of obsessing over someone who doesn't want to be obsessed over = clutch personality x 100, and many bad vibes.)

anyway, this behaviour - yandere behaviour in general - is dodgy and shouldn't be recreated in real life. nor should the equally dodgy ideology, that people only fall for abusive guys, be recreated. stay safe y'all

[hunting-those-shadows]

»Cause when it all goes down, you know that I’ll fight for you.«

- Drew Seeley (”Battle Lines”)

[sigmaleph]

@jackmusclescarier

I think that's a common usage of the word. "you forgot my birthday", "you forgot our anniversary"

i don't much care for that common usage either. It equivocates between "you were aware that it was june 4th but did not remember june 4th is my birthday", "you were aware that it was june 4th and you would if asked have said my birthday is june 4th but failed to make the connection" and "you were not aware that it was june 4th". the mental state is distinct in all cases. i don't actively object to the casual usage because we lack the proper vocabulary to make the relevant distinctions but the distinctions exist.

but also the casual usage is brought about by an implied social duty to track birthdays et al for people we are close to that is being failed (the notion being that it doesn't matter why specifically you didn't wish someone a happy birthday, you should have devoted enough mental resources to all aspects of the problem you'd have succeeded. disclaimer that i am not endorsing this perspective, just stating it) and to the extent such a duty is being imposed in regards to 9/11, it is not being imposed on me, being unamerican. and so i have the luxury of saying 'that's not what forgetting is' without it coming across as a lame excuse that i didn't get the expansion of the US surveillance state a birthday present.

have to confess that it took me a bit to figure out that i was seeing somewhat more 9/11 posts in my dash than usual for a reason and not because of random noise

[darkacademicfrom2021]

Headcanon: Loki's sweet tooth.

Trigger Warnings: low self esteem, disordered eating behaviors. ANGST.

Happy ending, with fluff.

Pairing: Loki x gender neutral reader

Disclaimer: gif not mine.

Loki has never been one to finish his meals. Always left something, never been too interested in savory foods.

Not that he didn't like them. He just didn't pay much interest to it.

When you started dating you saw this behaviour in him and when you asked why he didn't eat it all, he answered it was just some royalty thing.

"It was a prince manner thing, to eat slowly and tiny. My mother taught me. But Thor and Odin finished too soon, they ate like animals, and when the King finishes, you have to stop eating too".

You nodded but explained that he was now in Midgard, and he was free to eat all he wanted.

But it was already too deep on him. To not finish the plate.

So you started making him a bit bigger plates, so at least he wouldn't be hungry by leaving some.

But you saw his disinterest. He just really didn't care about food. Or at least convinced himself he didn't.

Sometimes he'd observe a really delicious sweet you'd be eating with such lust... but when you offered him he'd always answer the same.

"I don't like sweets, thanks".

You've never seen him eating sweets, he said it was bad for the teeth and the stomach, and he didn't really like it.

Now, movie night. You were both cuddling on the couch, he ran his long fingers through your hair, he caressed an eyebrow with his thumb, the day was cold outside yet his body warmth kept you in a perfect temperature.

You were watching Harry Potter, because he's never seen it and you couldn't believe he lived a thousand years without relating a lightning to something else than his brother.

And after almost an hour you remembered "I bought some chocolate to watch the movie with". He laughed slightly as you went to look for it.

You came back with a box of Ferrero Rocher chocolate. The golden and shiny box caught his attention like a puppy.

"You and your sweet tooth" he said, smiling and getting back to the movie.

"I bought it for you too, I think you'll like it".

He smiled and told you he didn't like sweets, as he usually said. But you just didn't believe him. He was actively avoiding it.

You could see that typical sparkle in the eyes a child has when is showed the most expensive toy. A sparkle of "I really can't have this but I want it with my heart and soul".

You knew exactly what happened there. He was avoiding satisfaction. He probably liked sweets, but he wanted to feel like he could control that.

He wanted to feel like he could control it, and he probably thought he didn't deserve it.

And that sucked three thousand.

Because he totally deserved it. He deserved to enjoy enjoyable things. He deserved to eat mindlessly some chocolate with his partner in a movie night.

So you teased him into trying it. Playfully, without being too invasive.

"Mmh, it smells awesome".

"Oh, I adore this".

"This is the best chocolate I've ever eaten".

He knew what you were doing and joked back.

"Stop making love to the food, my dearest".

"Come do it yourself, then".

You both laughed as he threw himself on top of you and started tickling your tummy and neck, until you were unable to breathe.

After all the tickling, he rested his head on your stomach and you caressed his hair. He sank his nose in your soft belly and kissed all the way up to your chin.

He stopped there and looked at you with the unconditional love he always looked at you. You looked at him back, a little bit worried.

"You seem concerned".

"I am, a bit, yeah".

"Wanna talk it out?", he asked, without a single clue of what was bothering you.

He was unaware that you knew what he did with.

"It's about you. I understand you might not want to talk about it, but I'd like to give it a try, okay?", you started carefully.

"Yes, my love. Talk away".

You sat on the couch again and handed him a piece of chocolate. He forced a smile and glanced at you with wonder in his eyes.

"What?".

"What goes through your mind right now?", you said, still holding the chocolate towards him.

"What's this about, darling?". He still was asking you sweetly, but you knew it was bothering him just the mention of it.

"I... I don't think you don't like chocolate".

"If I liked it, I'd eat it. Otherwise, what would be the point of avoiding it?" He excused himself. A terrible liar, who'd say?

"Exactly. What would be the point, indeed", you said with a soft look.

He glanced down and didn't look at you for a while. You kept talking.

"It doesn't make you weak, you know?"

He glanced up and met your gaze with the fear of a child who's been caught misbehaving.

"How...?" He stuttered. You grabbed both his hands and kept talking.

"It doesn't make you unworthy. It doesn't make you lame, or silly, or lazy. It doesn't make you bad. It won't bring you the problems you think it will".

His eyes were glassy and he kept swallowing, trying to hold back the lump in his throat.

"I feel like it does", he said, with the tiniest voice he's ever spoken.

"But it really doesn't".

"I don't think I deserve it. I know it sounds like madness. And I never thought anyone else is unworthy of eating a piece of chocolate. I don't know what goes through my mind, and I'm not sure what my mind process is".

He was speaking truly from the heart. He was opening up to you in a way he's never opened up to anybody else before.

He was holding back tears. It really affected him.

Now you had to hold back your tears.

After he was done speaking, you hugged him tightly and put his head on your chest. You knew that if he wanted to cry, he'd want to hide his face.

As soon as his face rested on you chest, wrapped up in your arms, he started tearing up a little.

You kissed his tears and he smiled with red and swollen eyes.

"I don't deserve..." he started saying, but you didn't even let him finish.

"You do deserve it. Because..." you whispered, and made direct eye contact to say it "...you deserve the world. Do you hear me? The nine realms and all the worlds in the galaxy".

You knew deep down he didn't believe you. But he nodded and accepted it.

You also knew that if you repeated it over and over for the rest of your long lives, he'll end up believing it.

So you did.

[i-want-all-the-cookies]

This is a fairytale inspired Weak Hero fic for Halloween. (Wolf Keum x fem/reader)

Disclaimer: This is not my picture, wasn't able to find original artist to credit.

"It HAS to work this time." I mumbled to myself as I finished setting up the trap.

I had already tried everything else to catch him! From standing in an open meadow, completely exposed, while pretending to pick flowers. To skipping through the woods, whistling loudly down the path. God, I even faked a fall, just to add to the effect that I was as innocent and helpless as a baby bunny. Only to end up with nothing but a dirty dress and bruised up knees as the outcome.

And my last plan completely emptied out my piggy bank, when I decided to spend all of my allowance on this stupid bright red hooded cloak. Thinking the color would stand out in the dark woods, and I would grab his attention.

It didn't.

I was running out of ideas. Plus I could only give my parents the same lame excuse, that I wanted to visit my grandmother, so many times before they would start to catch on.

But in a way, it was my parents fault I was in this mess to begin with. Since THEY were the ones that insisted I take grandma some hot soup, on that cold day, a few months back.

That was the day I first saw him. As I was simply strolling through the woods to grandma's house.... Ok. Maybe more like stomping and huffing through the woods, but those are just the minor details of it.

Anyway, I was just on my way to grandma's house, when a rustling off the trail made me stop in my tracks. My heart beating wildly in my chest as I looked frantically around for any signs of danger. I had heard the stories from the young maidens in the village, of ferocious beast roaming in the woods. That they wouldn't hesitate to gobble up any unsuspecting girl whole. In one, single, solitary bite.

And then, just as some rays of light penetrated through the tree tops, I saw him. He stepped out onto the trail. The sunlight shining against his purple matted fur. His claws doused in red, while droplets of blood fell from his jaw.

I stood perfectly still and held my breath when his ear suddenly twitched, and he turned his head in my direction. His beautiful, dull, gray eyes pierced right through me. He lifted his head and sniffed the air for a second, before he turned and walked away.

I let out the breath I was holding and fell to my knees. My face flushed as I clutched angrily at the hem of my skirt. 'How? Just how is it, that those stupid bitches from the village, failed to mention how freaking hot the beast in these woods were?'

That moment was the catalyst to my many attempts to meet the handsome Wolf again. And even though trapping him was a bit extreme, I simply couldn't help it, since I was at the end of my rope and had run out of options. I mean, what is a girl even supposed to do to get ravaged around here!? Right?

So now here I was, crouching down in some bushes, waiting for the Wolf to step into my trap. A trap that consisted of a large enchanted cage. One that I "borrowed" from a nearby guild's headquarters. A cage that was strong enough, that no monster could ever hope to escape from. I had also carefully seared a big slice of steak, just enough for it to give off a mouth watering aroma, but still remain bloody. And I had even baked a fresh batch of cookies, just in case.

The steak and cookies were set up on top of a wooden plate, on the ground, right below the cage that was dangling from the tree tops above. Held in place by some strong rope I had also "borrowed" from my father's barn.

With everything in place, all I had to do now was wait.

Luckily it wasn't long before I began to hear footsteps approaching the area. And I had to pinch my lips together, to keep from shrieking with delight, as I saw MY Wolf step through the brush and into the clearing I had carefully created. His nostrils flaring with each inhale, as he took one step after another, closer to the juicy steak I had placed on top of the plate.

I held my breath as I watched him crouch down to sniff at the steak, and just as he reached for it, I cut the rope to release the cage. It quickly came crashing down, effectively trapping the Wolf inside.

As soon as the cage fell over him, he leapt up and began raming into the bars as he tried to escape. But he would just end up receiving a painful zap everytime he made contact with the bars, due to the enchantment placed on it by the guild.

I gave him a minute or two to calm down before I stepped out of the bush I was hiding in. Immediately his head snapped in my direction. "Who's there!?" he growled out.

I took a few more steps and stopped once the small rays of light hit my skin. I put my hand up in the air. "Hi there. Don't worry I don't want to hurt you or anything. I live in the village nearby." I quickly said.

He narrowed his eyes at me and let out a low growl as I kept approaching. "What do you want?"

"Me?" I asked in return as I finally reached the cage. "I just wanted to see you again is all. Wow you really look just as amazing as I remember." I mentioned excitedly. "Your ears are still soo cute, and your teeth are still so pointy." I added taking in his features fully.

He scrunched up his nose baring his fangs at me. "It's so I can eat you better!" he snapped back with a snarl.

"Eat me?" I asked with a giggle. "I don't believe you. Especially since you didn't eat me up last time. When you had the chance."

He scrunched up his eyebrows with a confused expression. "The fuck is that supposed to mean?"

I frowned at the comment and tilted my head to the side. "You don't remember me? Are you saying  that just to hurt my feelings since I trapped you?" I paused for a second to see if he would respond. When he didn't I continued. "We ran into each other a few months back. Remember? And I've been through these woods hundreds of times since, just trying to see you again. But you've been so elusive, so you see I had to go through these measures." I explained with a pout.

The Wolf narrowed his eyes at me and pressed his forehead against the bars, only to receive a zap, and quickly pull away. "Listen here little girl. How about you let me go this instant, and I'll think about letting you live."

I let out a small giggle and shook my head. "No can do. You see I caught you so now you belong to me. That's how it works out here in the wild right? You catch something and claim it as yours? Look I even got you a pretty little collar." I said, happily digging out the black leather collar from my bag.

He let out a below of laughter that echoed through the woods, sending birds scurrying in all directions. "Are you crazy!? That is NOT how it works!"

I wrinkled my forehead as my eyebrows met in the middle. "Are you sure? Because that's not what I read from the books in the library... Hmmm, or maybe that was about leprechauns and not wolves?" I questioned myself as I rubbed my chin in thought. "Oh I know!" I exclaimed excitedly. "We probably have to make a pack first right! Like we mix our blood together... or something else that's similar." I added with a slight grin.

He lunged at the bars and let out a loud growl as he got zapped again. "Let me go NOW! You crazy bitch! Before I make you regret it."

I instinctively took a few steps  back and I crossed my arms with a loud huff. "You're being really rude you know! You have no idea how hard this was to pull off, or how much work I actually put into this!" I started arguing, when the Wolf started pacing back and forth in the cage. I clicked my tongue and stepped back up to the cage."You know the least you could do is look at me when I'm talking to you!" I proclaimed irritably, before a sudden realization hit me. "Wait. I've been noticing something for a while now. How come you keep squinting and shifting your eyes around? Are you having trouble seeing?"

He snapped his head towards me and bared his fangs with a low growl, but didn't answer the question.

"I think I know what might help." I said as I started rummaging through my bag. "Here it is." I stated pulling some eye glasses out. "These are actually my grandma's. She's terribly farsighted and I'm supposed to take them to her, but maybe you could find use for them instead."

I placed the glasses on the ground just inside the bars and took a couple steps back. After a minute the Wolf cautiously approached the side of the cage and picked up the glasses. "The fuck am I supposed to do with this?" he grumbled out as he moved the glasses around in his claw.

I held back a giggle and moved forward again. "You lay them on the bridge of your nose silly, and look through them with your eyes." I instructed.

He turned the glasses over in his claws a few more times before placing them on his nose. Once he did he flinched back a little and quickly removed them. He looked at them weirdly before trying them on again. This time a smile spread on his face, showing his sharp white teeth, and he turned to look at me. "So this is what you really look like huh." he commented as he slowly eyed me up and down.

I gave him a friendly smile and took a step closer. "Do you like them?" I asked excitedly.

He shot me a glance before turning to look at his surroundings better. His gaze eventually finding the steak on the floor. He shrugged nonchalantly and sat down next to it, where he then picked it up and started eating. "Not bad." he stated, without bothering to look up as he took another bite.

I leaned in closer to the metal bars and pointed to a wrapped up bundle. "I made cookies too."

The Wolf's eyes darted to the bundle and undid the knot on top to expose the golden cookies. He picked one up and popped it into his mouth, after a second he nodded his head in satisfaction and grabbed himself a handful. He looked over at me, as I sat with a smile watching him enjoying my food.

"Alright, so just tell me what I have to do to make you open this cage and let me out." he stated in a flat tone as he continued to munch on the remainder of the baked treats.

I frowned at his question. "What do you mean? I just want you to be my wolf is all." I stated matter of factly as I picked up the leather collar for emphasis.

He glared down at the collar before looking up at me. "I'm no one's fucking lap dog!!!... But. We can try to work something else out instead. As long as you open the cage that is." he finished with a charming smile that left my heart fluttering in my chest.

"How do I know you won't eat me up if I let you out?" I asked concern evident in my voice.

The Wolf only smiled larger as he strolled closer to me. "But isn't that what you really want?" he drawled out in a low husky tone that sent shivers down my body.

I felt my cheeks heating up at his statement, and was left speechless.

"I can do that AND more. All you have to do is Open. That. Door." he stated as he pointed to the latch on the side of the cage.

I could feel my whole face heating up at the endless possibilities of what the "more" in his statement could stand for, and I slowly stood up and walked to the latched door. I then carefully removed the key from inside of my dress pocket and I inserted it into the lock. I hesitated for a split second as I glanced up to make eye contact with the Wolf. He sent me a charming smile that melted my heart, and I automatically turned the key. The heavy lock falling off the door with a thump, as it hit the ground, and letting the door swing open with a loud creak.

I stepped back giving the Wolf enough space to walk out. He took one step outside the cage, then another,  before he stopped and started stretching his limbs with a satisfied groan.

Then in a blink of an eye he lunged at me, and pinned me down painfully to the hard ground. He brought his face down, with a cruel smile on his lips, until our noses were almost touching. "You know you're really lucky that the food you provided filled up my belly. But DON'T even begin to think, for one damn second, that you're getting out of this without paying the consequences."

I looked up into his face and watched as he hungrily licked his lips. I then swallowed in an attempt to push down the lump that had formed in my throat, and I smiled  back up at him. "You promise."

He kept his gaze locked on me. His eyes turning into small crescent moons as the smile widened on his face.

[rouiyan]

𝘐𝘛'𝘚 (𝘜𝘕)𝘊𝘖𝘕𝘋𝘐𝘛𝘐𝘖𝘕𝘈𝘓. [ 𝘭.𝘥𝘩 ]

⧏ hyuck’s installment of the undone at twenty-one collective ⧐

synopsis: where you and donghyuck realize that falling in love is not just a matter of time but of circumstances, impulsive decisions, and reckless emotions. well, mostly just reckless emotions. or in short, the two times you dumped him and the one time you didn't.

✧ lee donghyuck x (fem.) reader + bestfriend!lee jeno ✧ college au, slight enemies to loverz, fake dating au

✧ genres : angst, fluff, pining ✧ word count : 18.3k ✧ disclaimers : swearing

✧ author’s note — months in the making and it's finally here. please make yourself a cup of tea and get toasty in the sheets because this bitch is huge.

it was a valentine's dance, a stupid valentine's day dance, where lovers would go if they truly had nothing else to do. it was where elderly couples would boast of how long they'd been together, clichéd stories and all. you'd only gone because your best friend, jeno, had been in charge of the whole event to begin with. it made no sense to you, jeno was always a sucker for parties but not the sappy, cookies and streamers, no-alcoholic-beverages ones. he had said it was because he needed community service hours, something about how it would look like he genuinely cared for the community on paper, but sometime during the night while watching him excitedly put up the red and pink balloons, you realized that he actually enjoyed this. he enjoyed watching over the dance once it was in full swing and you saw how he'd let the smallest of smiles adorn his face as he refilled an empty pitcher of fruit punch.

but you knew the exact reason he held the dance in such high regards when he slipped from your presence as some slow song started to hum from the speakers and the fluorescent pink lights dimmed. you’ve been friends with jeno’s girlfriend for long enough to know that she was such a sweetheart. jaein was the type of girl that sent her grade reports back home to her parents and always had her location on. she was the type of girl that slept at eleven and declined frat party invites. she was just the girl that'd come to these types of parties and just the girl jeno deserved and loved. to nobody’s shock including your own, the two had started dating a few months back after being so obviously head over heels in love with each other for years. 

while jeno had spent most of his time with you, he now spent an equal half with jaein and you weren’t all too sure what to do with the allotted free time. sure, busying yourself with studies was a good idea, not a very fun one though, so you resorted to attending the valentine’s dance jeno had set up, to support him as well as not to miss out on free food. jeno had tried, really, to get any one of his single (as in, ready to mingle) friends to come and try to woo you, but none had shown up, opting to go to more bustling parties than to babysit his lone best friend. none had shown up, except a specific brown-haired boy, with a shy smile and a lame excuse as to why he would choose to spend such a day here, of all places.

donghyuck. lee donghyuck. your polar opposite. to be fair though, you wouldn’t actually know all too well because you’d never particularly ventured to get to know him. every bit about him struck you as obnoxious and entirely unnecessary. he was this loud, boisterous enigma at your college, always sunshine and smiles and making people laugh at jokes that bordered between funny and offensive. you felt, no, you knew that he was no good. he was never committed in serious relationships, gaining labels such as being a ‘playboy,' and you doubted he ever had a serious conversation with anyone, much less himself. lee donghyuck was the moodmaker of your friend group and while that may rest peachy with others, you found it exhausting to have to always be in the mood to laugh at his jokes or else be deemed undeserving of his attention. truth be told, you thought he felt the exact same way towards you, seeing as how he never attempted to make conversation with you and how he simply acted like you didn't exist when in big groups. how wrong you were.

lee donghyuck was the last person on your mind when jeno had said to you absentmindedly that one of his friends could accompany you that night. jeno was clearly proud of this, with the knowledge of donghyuck's blatant crush on you, the matter being a secret to no one but yourself. donghyuck had really debated coming, not wanting to enforce one-on-one confrontations with you since he knew you disliked him a certain amount. but he also thought of all the things he could say to you, all the questions he'd been dying to ask since day one (all the questions that jeno hadn't begrudgingly answered already). for him, the whole day had been spent staring at jeno's simple text (hey, u should come keep y/n company at the dance) and tossing himself through his sheets, wondering if he should dare be bold and actually show up. 

turns out, even after deciding to go, showing up had been an astonishing feat in itself for donghyuck, having spent the last hour and a half brushing and re-brushing his teeth, styling and restyling his hair, and choosing and rechoosing his outfit. he'd settled for simple black jeans, torn at the knees, a white tee topped with a black denim jacket and white sneakers, his hair split in the middle and almost stabbing at his eyes. he felt his heart speed up while reversing out of the driveway of his house, he felt his heart speed up as he thought of you while driving, and he felt his heart almost stop when he entered the venue, his eyes narrowing in on you and almost doubling over at how gorgeous you looked. leaning on the drinks table, you were donned in a simple satin blue slipdress with chunky sneakers to dress it down, one side of your hair was clipped back with some pearly accessories and your equally pearly bag sat atop the table behind you. 

he took careful, calculated steps, stopping at the candy table to grab a lollipop, so as to seem like he wasn't beelining right towards you. stopping a few feet away from you and gaining your attention, he held out the heart-shaped lollipop, a shy "hi," slipping from his lips. you took the candy with a small thanks before fixating your gaze back on him and questioning his presence, "what brings you here?" though you knew the answer, you really doubted that jeno could convince donghyuck here without any willpower of his own. he bit down on his lower lip before giving out a shrug and untruthfully admitting that he, "had nothing else to do," and, "thought it would be a nice change, considering i really only attend frat parties."

taking the excuse as his word, you nodded slowly before telling him you didn't know if this was a good idea and that maybe you should just go because you didn't see much of a point in staying, completely missing the way his eyes rounded ever so slightly and how his lips twitched into a frown before he quickly fixed his expression. you were just about to turn away from him when his hands found themselves barely grazing your forearm, stopping you in your tracks so that he could voice out his inner worries, "i'm sorry if i'm making you uncomfortable but…i really would like to spend the night with you." 

in his mind, he felt as if time slowed as he watched your hair rustle as you turned back around to face him, as your eyes flashed for a brief moment of consideration, and as you brought your hand up to his, effectively removing it from your arm before looking him straight in the eye to say, "okay."

donghyuck went through all the possible scenarios he'd thought up to come to a conclusion on what to say. he noted the way most people at the event were on the dance floor, slow dancing with a loved one, and thought it was a good place to start. meanwhile, you had traced his line of vision and interpreted his ideas, quickly saying, "no, we're not dancing," and effectively trashing his one and only plan rather abruptly. donghyuck's eyes nearly bulged out of his head and he made a mental note to not be so damn obvious in front of you. he took a quick glance at your lips and decisively tossed out the first thing that came to mind, "then, have you eaten yet?"

you shook your head lightly and he took from this to offer, "then how 'bout we go grab something to eat? my treat." you barely considered the situation upon hearing the last two syllables, replying with a "sounds good," quickly grabbing your bag. exiting the venue, you looked for jeno and saw that he was still busying around his girlfriend. you took it upon yourself to text him whilst on the way to dinner. 

donghyuck felt light on his feet as he walked through the parking lot with you by his side. the cold air felt liberating on his skin but he noticed how you'd caged yourself within your arms, in attempts to ward off the wind. without thinking, he'd already shrugged off his jacket and propped it lightly over your shoulders. his confidence skyrocketed as you clutched the article of clothing tighter to your frame and muttered a small thanks. surprising even himself, he even replied with a, "no problem, you look good in it," his cheeks now flushing a bright red, the same color spreading to his ears. 

not much else was said as he opened up the car door for you, gently pushing it shut after you were seated. you mentally cursed yourself for being so easily persuaded but moreover, the thoughts that filled your head were akin with 'since when was he such a gentleman?' and 'what's with him all of a sudden?' the air in the car smelled like fast food takeout and the cupholders held everything but a cup, miscellaneous items ranging from candy wrappers to spare change occupying the space instead. donghyuck entered beside you and noted your gazes, feeling slightly embarrassed. he put the car in reverse and placed an arm behind the head of your seat, his own head tilting as he backed out of the spot. without meaning to, you glanced over, only to be met with his side profile, jawline and all. it was no question that he was handsome, and though you never thought you would be actively thinking about it, you found yourself at the foot of his beauty, with many other girls by your side.

the whole ride there, you were texting jeno (even though he wasn’t texting back), making small jokes about how you've been kidnapped by the man he hired to accompany you and how he didn't even bother to tell you where the two of you were headed. it's odd because to this day, you still don't know what it was that compelled you to come along with him. perhaps it was really just the food, or maybe his sudden boyish charm, or mayhaps it was even the lollipop he held out to you, a shy smile lighting his face.

fifteen minutes later, the eerily quiet drive came to an end when he pulled into a spot on the side of an empty road, expertly parallel parking in the small space between two moderately sized trucks. before you could process his movements, his hand was on your arm again and he let out a small, "wait here," before he slid out the car and briskly walked to your side, opening up the door for you once again. stepping out, you took a look at the building before you that hosted a fancy restaurant, seemingly halfway empty. you found that odd, especially since it was valentine’s day, but you put into consideration that it was located on the side of town that no one really frequents. 

“wow, when you said we were going to grab something to eat, i didn’t think it’d be fancy.” donghyuck felt a sense of pride in his chest as he opened yet another set of doors for you, replying back with sincerity. “i didn’t want to half-ass this… sorta date.” it felt weird coming out of his mouth, the word ‘date,’ even more so that the date was with you, but he caught the little quirk of your lips and he wondered if he really had to joke around all that much to get you to smile. on any other day where you’d hang out with the rest of the group, he’d never been able to get your still face to lift, no matter how many idiotic jokes he had to crack. 

meandering in, the waiter sat the two of you at the table against the front window and you felt subconscious of the people walking by, peering in at the pair of you like they were window shopping. donghyuck saw the way you shifted, eyes glancing out the window every few seconds and he raised his hand to catch the waiter’s attention. “can we get another table, please?” after moving to a more secluded spot, you eyed donghyuck suspiciously before he bluntly said, “what? i didn’t wanna sit by the window.” the lie slipped easily past his lips and the almost overt hope that lined your irises diminished to a pointed look and eye roll. 

the restaurant was dimly lit, with the only source of light being the candles lining the wall and atop each table, accompanied by a small rose in a clear vase. you’ve never been on a date somewhere this fancy, the boys you’ve dated in the past being utterly incompetent, for lack of a better word. and it’s not like a fancy dinner was what you’d epitomize as a ‘good’ date, you’ve just never been pampered in a way that made it seem like you were of importance. somehow though, the way donghyuck laid his eyes on you, with care and genuine curiosity, you couldn’t help but feel… important to him, for whatever reason he hadn’t graced you with yet.

you didn’t question him as he ordered a pasta and a steak, getting the feeling that this wasn’t the first time he’s been here. “so this is where you take all the girls, i’m assuming?” donghyuck’s eyebrows shot into this hairline, clearly not expecting such a question from you. he cleared his throat before voicing, “only the ones i like a lil' more.” you scrunched your nose in distaste at his dating habits but you didn’t say anything else. he seemed to catch up on this as he fervently picked up the exchange once again, “not that you’re one of them.” this caught you off guard, pursing your lips slightly before disregarding the thought from your mind. donghyuck thought he’d said too much but it looked as if you were already past the topic, moving your hands to unfurl the provided cloth and laying it upon your lap. he did the same as he searched your expression in attempts to make sure you weren’t uncomfortable within his presence. 

donghyuck didn’t think much of the girls he dated. they were fleeting, he knew that much. and he also knew that they simply paled in comparison to you, mere pastimes while he waited out for his chance with his actual love interest. he’d never thought that you’d express dislike towards the way he chose to date around instead of committing but now that his mind was on the matter, he felt ashamed that he didn’t even seem remotely your type. donghyuck saw this in the way you always stuck to jeno, even in a platonic sense, and how your eyes always seemed to gravitate to guys that were more or less just…better than him. he knew relatively little about your love life, though he knew for a fact that you were currently single, and (from jeno) that you had dumped all the guys you’d dated before. even just liking you, he felt immense pressure and the impotent need to impress you whenever and wherever. with that in mind, he took a second to breathe before trying, at the very least, to show you his potential. 

donghyuck initiated casual conversation while the two of you waited on the food to arrive, doing his best not to seem overly enthusiastic or like he was trying to make you laugh. he kept the usual over-the-top jokes out of the air and focused solely on getting closer to you, asking questions like, “how are your classes?” or “when’s your birthday?” and giving minimum effort to reply when you’d ask the same question back. he spent most of his brain power memorizing your answers, subconsciously scheming when he could put the information to use, before popping the question he’d been wanting to ask all night, “then, what’s your type?” 

“mm, like looks-wise or personality-wise?”

“hmm, how ‘bout...both?”

“then, looks-wise, well first off someone that dresses well. i think things like facial features and body build don’t matter all that much but the way someone dresses or like, presents themselves, shows a lot about them.”

“so like, any particular style?”

“nothing particular, but nothing over the top. i think they just have to look put together and just…feel confident in what they wear. if that makes sense.”

donghyuck’s pleased with your answer, and by the way he was nodding at you, you continued your thoughts.

“personality-wise, just someone who knows what they want and someone that’s willing to put in effort to get what they want, i think that’s important.”

his eyes were just about sparkling when you finished and you wanted to ask him if he felt okay but instead shot back the same question he had asked you, not wanting to come off as fussy. “what about you? what’s your type?”

donghyuck didn’t miss a beat when he blurted out, “you.”

the waiter interrupted the moment by placing two plates (or rather platters) of food onto the table, but donghyuck could see, between the waiter’s arms, the way you bit back a smile. you snuck a glance at him, unsure of how to feel at this revelation. his eyes were unwavering on yours and you’d never felt more enticed by just the way someone was looking at you. oh, how confused you had become in such a short period of time. the boy in front of you was your type, a shy but self-assured boy that was smooth, no doubt, but more importantly he made you feel something.

dinner went as fast as it came and donghyuck paid, true to his word, leading you out the restaurant and back to his car. once in, he didn’t take off immediately. sitting in silence, the two of you exchanged a couple of looks before he said with a smirk, “let’s date.”

you were barely caught off guard, nodding minutely, and looking him in the eye. “yeah, let’s date." it was a blessed day for donghyuck, one that would always replay in his mind from that day onward. he thanked whatever higher entity graced him with just the perfect words, just the perfect actions, and just the perfect scenarios to get you from hating him to looking at him with such adoration in your eyes. all in one night.

it was a miracle day, a shared thought by the two of you.

it had been a wild forty-six hours since donghyuck had dropped you off at your apartment. the sunlit sky was just about to tip into the depths of night and donghyuck had come to pick you up to hang out with the rest of your friends. the only one of the boys who knew of the progression with donghyuck at the moment was jeno, the one boy you could never keep anything from, and he still thought that you were simply playing out a giant prank on him. you felt giddy, with the rush of newfound feelings for a handsome boy you could call your own. 

approaching his and his friend’s house, an unsettling feeling began to gather in the pit of donghyuck’s stomach. around you, he found it rather comfortable to just lay back and speak his thoughts. the last couple days spent with you had shown him that you liked donghyuck the way he was, and even though his fun side was appreciated, it wasn’t needed. but coming up to the front door and bringing out his keys, he thought of how he would act with the boys and you in the same room. 

“wow, who would’ve thought these two would come together?” it was jaemin that spoke, his eyes narrowing at you, coming in tow behind donghyuck. “imagine how awkward the drive must’ve been. y/n hates his guts.” this time, it was renjun that spoke, his lips curling into a smile as he conjured the thought of a silent, glare-filled drive. “actually,” donghyuck began countering, “we’re dating now.” 

the room fell silent as they watched donghyuck wrap his arm around your waist, your head finding a place on his shoulder. suddenly, after seven whole seconds, the room burst into a cacophony of commotion, jeno dragging you to the side to question if you were sane, jaemin and renjun laughing at the absurdity but taking time to spout a few incoherent sentences, and jisung and chenle openly gawking at the unfolding situation.

it was a whole twenty minutes before everyone started to notice how quiet donghyuck was, only talking when he was talked to and even then, replying with straight and not sarcastic answers. all the boys seemed to find it strange and renjun finally voiced, “the hell happened to you, did y/n threaten you or something?”

the world seemed to shrink around him as donghyuck felt his throat constrict, looking between you and the boys as if any of you could give him a clue as to what to say. your eyes were just as curious as the rest but he knew they held some sort of expectation. you’d grown to like the real donghyuck, not the funny, boisterous one. but the boys were all expecting him to burst into giggles and crack jokes like they were all he was made of. his head whirled, not wanting to choose between you or his friends and feeling like the entire situation was unfair. it was unfair that he couldn't rest easy just being himself. that he had to be a certain someone in front of his friends so that he could feel like a friend. but despite the inner rumbling of thoughts, he ended up plastering a wide grin onto his face, quipping back at renjun with a, “‘course she did, she hates my guts.”

the boys all glanced at you expectedly, seeing if you would laugh at what your boyfriend had said. now it was you that felt uncomfortable. squirming under all the stares of your friends, you could only give a small smile, feigning a chuckle, before the boys deemed that enough to move on. it's right then and there that you realized exactly what the fuck you'd gotten yourself into. you felt the teeniest bit disappointed, in him and in yourself. him for having all that damned pride and you, for forgetting that he had all that damned pride. 

it was at the forty-eighth hour of your relationship when you finally had the chance to drag the boy into the silent laundry room off the hall and confront him, dumping him for the first time because what the hell were you thinking? the usual, careful (not carefree) y/n that you'd known all your life had been replaced with this foreign and terribly impulsive persona in the face of a pretty boy. somehow, you’d let feeling of infatuation and desire revert all your cumulative dating experience and deem your rationality useless. all for a boy. a boy who could go on for days about how you weren’t ‘one of them’ when he really meant that he just thought you were prettier than the others. you felt like you were really just another one of his date-and-ditch girls. like he was slapping his dick in your face, and not even in a sexual way.

the last day of your weekend elapsed quickly and you had already found yourself cornered by donghyuck before your first class. you would have blatantly ignored him, had he not been screaming your name at the top of his lungs, alerting everyone within a mile radius. his face was drawn into a playful grin and you felt yourself cringe internally because you couldn’t piece together how you could’ve possibly dated a boy that would yell at you to get your attention with a goddamned smirk on his face the day after you had dumped him. 

dragging him by the elbow to the nearest bench, you forcibly sat him in the seat, looking down at him like a mother giving her child a scalding glare for misbehaving. his face now donned something you hoped was guilt but edged the line of being shameful. “why are you embarrassing me? it’s nine in the morning.”

indeed, his voice was small and he seemed upset that you used such a reprimanding tone on him. “sorry, i just wanted to get your attention.”

“and now you have it,” you huffed, “what do you want?”

once again, without missing a beat, he blurted out, “to get back together.”

your mind longed to reminisce the feeling of his eyes, sincere, on yours but even then, you felt like a joke to him. “no.”

“but y/n-“

“no, hyuck. i don’t want to be another one of your girls that you think are 'pretty enough' to take to that fancy little restaurant you frequent.”

“you’re not.”

“oh, so all of a sudden i mean so much to you.”

“not all of a sudden, i- i’ve-“

donghyuck’s throat closed up before he could let you divulge in his little secret. he knew he would’ve probably been better off telling you the truth, as embarrassing as it would be for him, but it was too early, he told himself. he wanted to be sure about your feelings for him. he wanted to build a relationship with you, not pressure you with words he knew you weren’t ready for.

“you’ve what? lost your ability to speak?”

oh, how he would’ve loved that snappy attitude of yours had it not been directed at his poor self. he gulped visibly before settling for a half truth that wouldn’t make you freak out and avoid him like the plague, “i’ve started to like you, y/n. and not the way i like the others. you’re different, i swear.”

you bit down harshly at your lip, wondering if you were destined a shitty love with a disloyal boy. shaking your head, you pulled your phone from your tote, more than ever wanting class to start as soon as possible. to donghyuck’s dismay, it was. slipping your phone back, you raised your head to be met with wide eyes and you cursed yourself for almost wanting to ruffle his hair or tug at his cheeks or pull him into a hug… anything to get that little pout off his face. but you digressed, giving him a placid smile and a, “i have class, see you later,” before turning on your heel, thankful that you hadn’t succumbed to such silly urges.

class had been uneventful, a flurry of taking notes that you would later go back to and realize didn’t even make sense. your friend and usual seat partner, dayoung, had decided that today was the day to ditch. you supposed she’d either blacked out from drinking or had an incurable hangover, the cost of her monstrous drinking habits. it was a shame, you thought while packing up, that you would have to go to the cafeteria alone and eat alone. 

exiting the lecture hall, you’re met with donghyuck once again, eyes burrowed into his phone. his brows are drawn together in concentration before he hears the shuffling of feet, courtesy of your fellow classmates, and you saw how he immediately searched the crowd for you, or you're assuming. you wanted to screech at him, what in the name of god was he thinking? picking you up after class? but you turned on your heel, almost getting ready to sprint to the back door of the building. before you could even get two steps in, donghyuck’s fingers were gently tugging at your elbow, forcing you into a spin to face the culprit of your classroom daydreams. his grip tightened as if afraid you’ll shrug him off and you saw the way he nervously shoved his phone into his back jean pocket, fumbling around for a bit until it finally slotted in. he let go of you rather abruptly, seemingly suddenly aware that his hand was there in the first place, and cleared his throat a little louder than he had aimed to.

“do you want to go get lunch with me?” his voice was shy, and it caught you off guard in the slightest because of how collected he seemed. nevertheless, you’re persistent if nothing.

“no, i’m eating with dayoung.” the lie fell past your lips like honey and you’re about to give yourself a mental pat on the back when a small, knowing smile eased onto the boy's face.

“dayoung’s at jaemin’s. she’s got a bad hangover from yesterday’s party.” damn, you would’ve been celebrating two victories, one for successfully lying and another for being right about dayoung’s tendencies, if you hadn’t forgotten that the girl was jaemin’s girlfriend and that jaemin was one of donghyuck's best friends. your lips flattened into a thin line as you grasped at nonexistent excuses to toss at him. his smile had widened, the light in his eyes shining, before he, again, took you by the elbow and led you to his car, admittedly not giving a fuck as to whether you were okay with it or not.

“come on, i didn’t wait a whole hour and a half outside to just let you go off on your own.” his little comment had you stopping in your tracks. he looked back at you, confused, the little frown on your face igniting unease in his mind. “you waited?”

“of course i did, baby.”

“don’t call me that.”

“okay fine, y/n.”

“why would you wait?”

“because i like you,” another smirk, “i said what i said and i meant what i said.”

(it’s not everyday that flustered!y/n enters the chat but when she does, god, hyuck swears he’s never been more in love with just the way someone blushes. he loves it, he lives for it.)

you escaped the gaze of his star struck eyes by stalking to the passenger side of the car, standing by the door and waiting for him to unlock the vehicle. willing himself out of his fanboy trance, he thumbs the key in a hurry and gets into the drivers’ seat with even more enthusiasm. with each progressing second he spends with you, he can't help but want more and more to get to know you. his actions were eager, putting the car in reverse, easing out of the parking spot, fingers nimble on the gear stick. as usual, the drive was dead silent off to a place that donghyuck didn’t bother to mention. you figured out soon enough though, as he parked the car in front of a local thai restaurant. as you gathered your belongings, he took the opportunity to quicken his exit to open the door for yours. “you don’t have to do that, you know. i’m perfectly capable.”

donghyuck didn’t let your statements derail him as he also opened the door to the restaurant for you. you gave him a disapproving frown, even considering to just not go in, before begrudgingly entering. the place had a cozy feel to it, somewhat akin to a rainforest cafe except without the fake exotic animals and random trees. donghyuck rushed, as if it were his life’s duty, to pull out a seat for you, and you willingly let him see your eye roll. “i know you’re capable, y/n, i just want to do it for you, really.”

you scrunched your nose in distaste and ignored his late reply, opting to skim through the thickly binded menus the waitress had set upon the table. you take it upon yourself to order this time, despite having never been to the place, but you figured a pad thai and khao pad were the way to go. his eyes were on you the whole time, watching the way you articulated yourself to the waitress. you knew this but pretended, for the sake of your heart, to be oblivious to his antics.

unsurprisingly, donghyuck slipped back into his usual persona that he seemed to portray whenever he was around you. being in his immediate presence seemed to make your heart quake these days, reminding you of his charming smiles and smooth lines. maybe it was because of this that made you think it was a bit too selfish to assume that dating him would mean that he would willingly change his entire reputation, you doubted he liked you that much. 

by the end of the meal the two of you were sporting matching shy smiles, feet fiddling with each other under the table and silent snickers with flirty cocked eyebrows. the air felt different when you were around him, the him that you adored. he made the worries on your shoulders lift and lightened the tight hold that life had on your heart. donghyuck was good to you, in all the ways that mattered and in all the ways that did not. it was a shame that you didn't let yourself fall for him sooner. 

he took the initiative to end the mini date there, briefly informing you that he would be dropping you off at your apartment before the car ride blanched out into an airy silence. it would have been outright ignorant for you to dismiss the way your heart pressed against your chest and how it beat quicker than whatever pop song that was tuning in the background of your worries. thinking, you felt it was something that you should take upon yourself to right the situation. whatever you were feeling, whatever he had told you about how he was feeling, was something you just couldn't ignore. staring listlessly into the abyss of the creamy satin that laid against your lap, you took deep breaths that shuddered the nerves on your spine. donghyuck was an ex, but you also dated and broke up with him in such a flurry of emotions that there was no way to tell if it was justified or not. 

pulling into a spot outside your building you rushed your mind to do anything, say anything. "hyuck," you began, not even in full comprehension of what you were about to say. his ears perked and his heart lurched at your usage of his nickname, the feeling of closeness boosting his confidence and affection for you. "yes?" 

"what if we- no, i-," grappling at your hair you felt the words come short as they neared being voiced aloud. donghyuck could sense the tension that you incited with your stuttering but he felt drawn to the way your eyes flitted to everything except his own. he wanted them on his own. letting his weight shift onto the middle console of the front seat, you allowed his careful fingers to caress your chin and lift your sights to him. donghyuck's eyes were warm and inviting and instead of feeling a chorus of nerves, your voice found strength in the expression that graced his features.

"yesterday... i think i made a mistake," his eyes narrowed and his fingers moved to cup your cheeks in his hand. "what do you mean by that?"

"i mean, i want to get back together. i'm sorry if it seemed like i was expecting something from you."

donghyuck openly stared at you, wanting to memorize the way your face fell shy and conserved. he wanted to be the one to open up your heart and to be the one to treasure it. he wanted it all. so while you busied yourself with rapid blinking, your mouth opening and closing in attempts to cover up what you thought might have been yet another mistake on your part, he closed the distance between your lips and his, in a fateful crash. there was a certain passion with which he kissed you with that told a tale of longing and thoughtfulness. he was as warm as he looked, his lips showing you more than he had said in words. from a small but heartfelt kiss, you saw him in so many ways you hadn't before. his sincerity leaked through the simple but profound way he subtly sucked on your bottom lip and in your state of realization, you tried your best to form words from the emotions that had dawned upon you. with a hand on his neck, light but rubbing deep circles you leaned back into his space so that your breath would tickle with his, "i don't know how much i like you, hyuck. i can't even give you an estimate but i know that i like you. that, i know for sure."

"and that's all i need to know, baby." donghyuck slid the hand on your cheek to take purchase of the crown of your head and brought your figure into his. your arms fell down to his back, encasing him, as your temple hit the skin above his collarbones. he felt like home more than anything else. years of knowing of him and only days of actually getting to know him were all you needed for your heart to calm with his gaze, goosebumps to smooth over with his touch. donghyuck, you believed, was a good man, a beautiful, sunkissed man with a hearty laugh that would ring in your ears even in the moments after.

hyuck's presence, in so many ways, was already mounting to more than you thought it ever would and it was something that nagged in the back of your mind, ever so slightly, between the waves of adoration that swept through you with every interaction you held with him. it was dangerous territory, you thought, to be left alone without his persona by your side because then you would be utterly alone. alone to all your thoughts that kept you up at night because rationally, none of this made sense. rationally, he should not have been able to penetrate through your defenses, to break down your façade, to see the real you. it was a matter of days, not weeks, not even months, much less years. rationally, liking him was a no go. and being with him in any serious context was out of the question.

"woah. dragging me into the laundry room. well that can only mean two things, honeybee." his little remark would normally incite a small eye roll but you're too far in your head to really process the lightness of his joke, the lightness of his tone. two deep breaths, keep your hands away from him.

"hyuck, let's call this off." a serious tone.

"wait what?" it's been like barely a day." his gleaming eyes seemed to take it in anything but seriousness.

"i don't think i really thought this through. i just- it's all a little quick don't you think?."

"but babe look-"

"i'm sorry, again, but i really am not looking for something serious with you. that's what you want and i don't want to be the one who drags this on and makes it harder for me and you. whatever this was. let's just preten-"

"y/n, i'm not going to pretend this never happened, okay?" a pause, "because i know something happened. maybe you can't get serious with me but i know, for a fact, that you felt something at one point or another in this… this relationship." donghyuck's eyes are glossed over now with fresh tears. the very eyes that were filled with glee not two minutes ago. despite how wretched he looks, he continues without a hitch.

"you wanna break up? fine. i respect that but don't fucking say that this never happened. don't deny that what you felt, what i saw, never happened. it happened, baby. we happened."

taken aback in humiliation, you blinked back the oncoming wave of tears that were threatening to fall. he was right, you were impulsive, and indecisive, and though it was nowhere in your intentions to be selfish, that's what you were. two times now, that you've fucked yourself over.

and with your leave, donghyuck found himself at square one. or even negative one. he dated you, he dated you and he still found a way to ward you off, again. not even four days in total had he dated you and he felt the knots in his stomach tighten and curl up against his internal organs. he fucked it up, no matter if it was you that broke it off. he couldn't help but think that he was the one that scared you away. that he was the one that pushed you to fall for him so quickly and carelessly with flirty smiles and stupid chivalrous actions. donghyuck felt the tension build in his insides because he was so enamoured with being yours, for catching your eye, you heart, that he forgot to build a relationship with you, to build trust and reliability with you.

now, if you were to even look back on your relationship with him, or to even look at him in any sort of romantic way, you would only see the boy who could win smiles and little flutters of hearts but never any more than that. he found himself in the pits of regret and utter annoyance at his past self because he couldn't take a step back, for even one second, and show you more of how much of a partner he could be. he drowned in the possibility that he would only ever mark as pretty sex appeal and quick playboy fling in your charts. peak devastation.

but you, you will never admit the twist in your heart as you slipped out of the laundry room that day. not to hyuck, not to jeno, not to yourself. whatever games you believed hyuck to be playing on you, whatever games your own mind was playing on yourself, you were through with it. there was no way around that. 

a headache, in bed. maybe a bedache. uncomfortable no matter how you positioned yourself. the sheets were crisp but cold to the touch and you found yourself drawing your limbs nearer to your torso, your arms encircling them to ensure a warmth. perhaps this bedache had been brought on by how you hadn't left the bed since early last night, how the sun had been up for awhile now, or even by the phone pressed between your left ear and those crisp sheets. radioactive stuff, you figured. jeno was drawling on and on, about what you couldn't put a finger on. if your best friend was any one thing in the world, he was a rambler. never knew when to stop and could never comprehend the general mood of the room. especially when it was just the two of you, you couldn't help but have your mind wander off onto other topics because frankly, you weren't sure if he himself knew what he was saying at this point. maybe if he could pick up on the fact that you were tired, or so so out of it then he would stop. maybe if he was a little more adept in noticing things about you, maybe if he was a little more like… like hyuck. 

hell, you would've totally crushed on jeno if he had just a bit more common sense in social interactions (it's a total wonder how he has such an attentive girlfriend). but no, if anything hyuck was more your type than any of the guys in the group. huh, hyuck. how did he even end up in your train of thought? 

sprawling your back flat upon the mattress, the cold curling up your tendons and rippling a small shiver down your spine, you thought about the events of yesterday morning. breaking up with hyuck--a good choice decidedly--suddenly seemed like a dick move on your part. surely you could've just worked through it right? you liked him, undoubtedly, why was it so hard to stay with him? the possibility of being hurt was relatively low, despite who he was, you figured because of how he acted around you, gentlemanly. the possibility of it ending up more than just a frenzied fling was also very high, with how much you had liked him in consideration. your mind was going on, still to this moment, about how quick it had been, about your secret fears of it being no more than a joke, about how you had seriously fallen for such a joking person. but then again, you couldn't just call him up and tell him, "hi, it's y/n. let's date. again. because i suddenly feel okay with it. again." (though in all honesty, donghyuck would still say yes). 

the best course of action, you decided, was to wait it out. maybe school could keep your mind off of him and before you know it, the sight of him wouldn't make you suddenly self-conscious. and the sound of his voice wouldn't make the hairs stand straight at the nape of your neck. the aftereffects of his boisterous smile would stop, for once, from making your heart disentangle itself from the hold of your ribcage and the butterflies would stop flying all together. to your dismay, monday morning was comparably awful, just godawful.

your eyes are still wide and you're only slightly panicking when you say with a flat voice, “repeat.” donghyuck heaves another exasperated sigh. “i said,” he gives you a look that either means he thinks you’re annoying or he thinks you’re stupid (or both), “renjun thinks we’re still dating so he made a bet with me that if we stay together for a whole month, he owes me a hundred bucks.” his sneakers are tapping in such a rhythmic fashion that your eyes feel like they’ve been tranced but they’re pulled to his face when you finally process his words. “wha-“

you’re attempted response is cut short when he says, eyes rolling back, “i’ll split it if you fake it with me.” gosh, you wanted to smack him. you weren’t tight on money at the moment but an extra fifty dollars for a new dress, or the pair of heels you’ve been eyeing, or maybe even that one overpriced lipstick…your mouth seemed to work faster than your mind. “fine, a month,” his face lit up at your words, “but nothing extra, like no weird stuff when we’re alone.”

he nodded, a smirk slowly forming alongside his retort, “that is, if you can resist my pretty face.” it was your turn to roll your eyes and shove his frame farther away from yours as you were reminded of every reason you hated this kid. he was annoying, no way around that. you checked your phone and it lit up with a 9:57. you were going to be late for class.

you took brisk steps away from the boy towards your class across campus, not even bothering to bid him a farewell. "hey, wait up," he jogged to your left, trying to match your pace, "where you going? i thought we should drop by my place, renjun should be there with the rest of the boys." you quickened your steps, making sure that donghyuck couldn't distract you further before answering curtly, "i have class in like, less than three minutes." instead of backing off like he should've he only sidled up to you more saying, "oh okay, what class?" you huffed, clearly distressed that he couldn't take the hint and just go. "organic chem." 

at that, his face seemed to grow even more excited, for god knows what reason, and he caught up with your fast-moving frame with a few skips, "at the kinley building? 'cause i could drive you." this time, you stopped in your tracks, weighing your options. if you declined and walked the whole way, there was the possibility you'd be late and donghyuck would probably tag along as well. if you went with him, there was no doubt you'd make it in time. you figured you would have to suffer being in his presence either way so might as well make it to class on time. "sure,” you muttered under your breath, upset that you had agreed to all his inquiries today.

his left hand clasped around your wrist, as if to lead you to his car, but you promptly unhooked it, not even chancing a glance at his face as you followed behind him. skinship had been prominent while you and him were dating, despite the time being short, and you didn't hate it but it freaked you out nonetheless how he could be so touchy without knowing you all that well. 

approaching the parking lot, you could already spot his beat up 1998 honda civic, sporting the signature scratched navy blue paint. sliding into his car, you could recall the very first night he'd taken you to dinner. how his cheeks had been pink the entire drive there, anxious that you would notice the remnant smell of the fried chicken he had the night before. you could remember, with striking detail, how clouded your mind had been and how you'd let donghyuck's childish antics keep you from realizing what exactly you'd done.

shaking your head from the memories, you kept your gaze straight and mouth shut for the rest of the ride; donghyuck seemed to notice this and followed suit. you were struggling to think about anything except the boy next to you but you persisted to fight it because the complications were too much for you, donghyuck was too much for you.

class? uneventful. your mind? bustling. with what? donghyuck, donghyuck, donghyuck, and fucking donghyuck. the end of class signals an expectation you were pondering in class and upon exiting, you find it to be true. donghyuck is leaning up against the wall adjacent to the door to the lecture hall you were just in and he's already smiling at you, kind and sweet. the drive to the boys' house is strikingly quiet in the most uncomfortable way possible but it's immediately the least of your worries when you pull up upon the driveway of the cornflower blue painted house. donghyuck pulls the keys from the car and you don't allow him to open the door up for you, stepping out just as he reaches for the handle. his hand, hovering midair, swoops back to the curls at the foot of his neck, twirling them as if he was originally to make a dramatic gesture out of a simple act.

before donghyuck can turn the key into the keyhole, he sets an arm around your shoulders, without looking you in the eye and clears his throat. "we might wanna at least seem, you know…" his comment is received with your head on his shoulder, the same position the two of you were in while walking into this very house less than a week ago. he chances a glance down at you but regrets because his face is quite literally all up in your space. he can see the little ridges of your eyelids and the individual hairs of your eyebrows, all the miniscule details of the light makeup you adorned and the blush on your cheeks that's far too pink to be solely composed of any powder or swash. he briefly wonders if the causation is of his sudden proximity but is interrupted when the door in front of you splits open, the keys departing from donghyuck's clutches and jangling against the wood. 

his face is still mere centimeters from yours and renjun is looking, delighted and sickened at the same time so you take the liberty to peck a quick kiss upon the bridge of donghyuck's nose before shooting a shy smile at renjun and brushing past him into the house, leading hyuck by the hand. the boy himself is halfway zoned out because of the fact that you had initiated pda first. snapping from his momentary daze, he feels a sudden courage surge through his chest, his flirty sweet attitude fully consuming the doubt and insecurities that were once peeking through his composure.

"so how you guys holding up this time around?" renjun questions as he perches himself at the edge of a one person couch, already occupied by jisung. the younger boy pushes him off playfully and is, in turn, shot a death glare and a muttered curse. jisung merely shrugs which makes the aforementioned boy even more riled up, the whole situation giving you and donghyuck a few moments to give each other looks confirming who's to be answering. his little nudge gets you spitting whatever tumbles out first.

"better than ever actually, we're kinda just ignoring the fact that that first breakup happened. you know, it was just a small fight." donghyuck's eyes nearly bulge out at your slip up but he's already wracking his brain for a backup reason in case renjun catches the mistake.

"first? what do you mean first?" you can already see the smirk growing on renjun's face, preparing for his hundred bucks. thankfully donghyuck, quick-witted as ever, is right on his tail, "yeah we got broke up a few hours after we got back together, a sick joke on y/n's part."

silently, praising hyuck for how skillfully he handled the near-debacle, you follow up with a realistic, "you thought it was funny too though, don't act like you didn't enjoy my acting!" at this, renjun's quirked eyebrow returns to its rightful place and he retrieves his phone from his jacket pocket to get everyone's pizza preferences for delivery. jaemin enters at this moment. his eyes are sparkling with mirth and he's walking backwards, both hands interlaced with a noticeably tipsy dayoung. 

"shit, dayoung. already? it's three in the afternoon," you voice while ambling in her direction. you see the way she barely acknowledges you while burying her face into jaemin's chest, mumbling incoherent sentences but jaemin supplies your question by telling you that, "she had a shit day, forgot to write a whole essay and a half." blinking in somewhat understanding, you then cross the room to where donghyuck is now sitting on the couch and while he pats his lap, you take the spot on the floor in front of him so that his knees peer at the sides of your head. immediately, you feel him sit up to accomodate you by softly raking his fingers through your hair.

dayoung, currently sitting smack in front of the tv and successfully obstructing everyone's viewing experience, now speaks with a slightly more sober tone, "ya, y/n, i can't believe you didn't tell me that you and donghyuck are dating. i had to figure out through jaemin. imagine how shocked i was to hear that! i thought you absolutely despised him…" the room is awfully silent and you hear the beginnings of words come from donghyuck behind you when dayoung finishes up her little spiel, "... i always thought you liked him though, or at least thought you two looked good together." 

the rest of the boys beside donghyuck are absolutely loosing their shit because y/n liked hyuck for how long?! donghyuck is equally loosing his shit though he tries his best to suppress the blush that's sure to be washing over his features. his heart is pumping at a haphazard pace and his fingers have slid down from your hair to your neck, then shoulders. he hopes you can't feel the shakiness and lack of confidence that seeps through his demeanor, making his pupils shake and ever so conscious of how you are stilled in this moment. donghyuck wants to see the look on your face.

your face, unbeknownst to the boy behind you, holds no surprise. dayoung had said that same line to you over and over again, claiming that your dislike towards the boy was all part of a covert operation to mask your true feelings for him. in all honesty, the topic of this had replayed in your head for quite some time as well because although in the forefront of your mind you knew that you genuinely did not like donghyuck's character, you couldn't help but ponder the specifics of why exactly you always sought to be upset with him when really you could have minded your own business. and with that thought, you seldom admitted to yourself that donghyuck did draw some sort of your attention to him, attraction or just wonder in general.

you almost want to rush and clap a hand over her mouth as another of her drunken speeches comes into play but she beats you to the chase. "let's go on a double date! or triple, yes, triple! i wanna see this 'relationship' up close, y'all are suspiciously cute." 

donghyuck's heart speeds and yours drops.

turns out, drunk dayoung and sober dayoung are pretty alike when thinking, proven by how sober dayoung had no recollection of her drunken triple date proposal but had also suggested the same exact thing in a sober state. the mirrored version of you that you are so carefully inspecting at the moment looks slightly fucked up, you think. sure, your outfit and makeup are on point as usual but it's the way your stomach churns and eyes shift uneasily that give way to how you're really feeling. nervous. 

walking over to where your small array of handbags are perched upon the windowsill above your fair selection of shoes, you slip on a simple pair of square-toed picnic heels to go with your blue and white 'modern-day belle from beauty in the beast' look. your doorbell sounds throughout the apartment just as you're about to pick out a bag and you scuffle over, still trying to get your toes lined up, to the front door so as to not keep donghyuck waiting. upon opening, you give the boy a quick once-over before deciding that his simple outfit of washed blue loose fit jeans and a semi-fitting white shirt matched perfectly to your own.

"am i approved?"

a small smile graces your features before you nod lightly, turning your back to him but leaving the door open at his leisure. "you most certainly are." stepping within the confines of your space, donghyuck's face breaks into a childlike grin when he notes, "look at us, we're even matching."

you give him an absentminded chuckle in agreement, much too focused on whether a wickered crossbody or the pearled mini tote would do your coordination justice. shaking your head in a frenzy you snatch up the pearled item, astounded that you even thought of introducing a whole new color and texture into an already perfect ensemble. donghyuck watches with an amused grin but paid more attention to your actual apartment than the girl that lived in it. suddenly, you're aware that this is his first time being allowed up into the premises and how awkward this would play out in your mind now that you're aware but you do your best to shake the thought and return to loading your bag with your assigned lipstick, keys, and phone before ushering the boy out altogether.

the two of you are the last to arrive of the three couples, unsurprising to him only. donghyuck will never leave this out for discussion but he purposely drives slowly, so as to give himself as much time with you as possible, even if you end up hissing scornfully at his delayed turn and the way the space between the car you're in and the car in front always seems to increase. 

with the drive in consideration, you are slightly annoyed as you exit the car without the assistance of donghyuck and is slightly relieved to see jeno and jaein walking from the parking lot as well. catching up to them, again without donghyuck, you make small talk with jaein while jeno eyes you will curiosity. before you can jump head first into a heated debate about your shared nutrition professor with jaein, donghyuck's arms slots behind your back and you're startled for a split second. noticing the glare you give hyuck, jeno asks good-naturedly, "something happen on the drive here?"

huffing exasperatedly but relieved you get the opportunity to complain, you reply in the most sincere manner given the topic of discussion. "hyuck here, drives so unbelievably slow, i don't know how we got here even remotely on time." said boy is chuckling with an amused face but removes his arm from the small of your back and instead intertwines your fingers. he adores it when you get riled up with insignificant actions. shaking your head, you let donghyuck lead you to the end of the clearing where jaemin and dayoung are at looking across the landscape.

it certainly is the most picturesque spot for a date, the lavender fields sprawling lazily between the two hills. along the view there are several, maybe five or six, couples that seem to have gotten the same idea in coming here but you're pleased that today would be a fairly undisturbed date. your group of six quickens the pace along the trodden dirt path and you're all too aware that wearing heels, albeit low, with a stick heel was a nightmare on soft terrain. you found yourself sinking into the ground with each step of the way and it's only natural that hyuck picks up on this, being only steps behind you, hands still interlocked and now sweaty. 

he switches the hand in which he holds yours and connects his other with your adjacent. taking a large step, you feel his front press against your back as his voice pulses softly into your ears, "want me to carry you, babe?" a chortle crossed with a scoff passes your lips but before you could quip back a line on just how capable you were, the heel of your left shoe caught particularly deep in the soil and upon trying to retrieve it, your balance was replaced with incoordination. hyuck steadies you by moving his left hand around your waist and rights your stance but then slides his other arm beneath the alcove of your inner knees and swiftly removes your weight off the floor. you're not left breathless or starstruck by his smooth actions but his eyes, now matching your gaze, are enough to stop you from retorting to his kind gestures. surely, he meant nothing more of it than a simple solution to a friend's problem and a token of performative pda.

arriving at a particular grassy clearing about half a quarter mile into the field, you see that jaemin and dayoung who were at the head of the group had already spread wide the picnic blanket they had brought, the large wicker basket that jaemin had looped around his arm on the way here was seated atop. donghyuck only lets you down only when he's right at the foot of the blanket and dayoung gives you a playful grin, which you return with a shit-eating one of your own, followed by a giggle that erupts from jaein as a spectator of the scene. the weather is warm but not hot, the rays of the sun light on the skin and far from blinding, and the grass is dewy but dry enough for it to stop from clamping through the thin fabric of the pink blanket. sure, you admit, a triple date on a day like this, with a view like this, was definitely a good idea.

hyuck makes sure to grab a few napkins as soon as the basket is opened and he trods back over to where he had set you down, crouching and lifting your left shoe off your foot so he could clean the soiled heel. he does the same for the other, all whilst you're looking up at him with such sincere and loving eyes. it is far from intentional but donghyuck knows that the easiest way to your heart is found in simple but profoundly touching actions. 

an hour into the brunch, you seem to have grown accustomed to donghyuck feeding you food, refilling your drink, and just being the most attentive you have ever seen him be. you chalk it up to the fact that he's just closer to the platters of food set in the center of the blanket as well as the fact that he needs to make as much of a show as he can out of this. chatter is pleasant, the other two couples equally as enamoured with one another over the whole group in itself, giving perfect leeway for donghyuck to squeeze in some one-on-one time. 

"y/n," his voice causes your head to snap in his direction, eyes wide. "what?"

hyuck licks his lips, eyes glancing down to your own before realizing that now was definitely not the time. you felt like you could see the gears turning in his head when he answered, "let's go take pictures." nodding, you let him help you up and lead you to the nearest path, his hand guiding you slowly so as to not cause another inbalance. the path he chose ended up circling down further into the valley and he walks you down until the terrain flattened and treads back up the slope to get a picture of the flowers fanning out around you on all sides. his breath catches, keeps catching, with each second he stands there, focusing more on the little you on the screen than the picture he was taking of you. a few shots later and jaemin and dayoung had rounded upon the spot as well, jaemin offering to take some photos of the two of you together.

a light smile forms on donghyuck's features as he nears you, eyes glistening at contact with yours. perhaps it’s the way love simply works but he swears that even mother nature kneels before you, outlining your skin with a glow that could only be achieved with true happiness, the rays of light reflecting in your eyes gleam like pools of honey, and the way the flowers fan around you that made your figure seem even more sublime. hyuck blinks his running thoughts away as he makes haste to set an arm around your waist, tugging you closer to him. he can quite literally feel your head turn to look at his side profile, your nose barely dusting the heights of his cheekbones. he sucks in a breath and turns face-to-face with you as well, momentarily slowing time and the whole 'posing for a picture' scheme escaping his mind. 

"okay, i got it. you guys looks so good together, who knew!" jaemin squeals, effectively drawing your attention away from his stare. you pick up on the small, "i knew," that dayoung lets out in a distaste full tone and exchange a funny glance with her. bringing hyuck's arm from behind you and lacing fingers with him instead, you beam up at the other couple as you offered to take a few shots of them as well. 

the six of you only spend an hour longer at that destination, being full-time college students didn't exactly allow full-fledged dates but with the time considered, you had fun. slipping back into the passenger seat of hyuck's car, with the boy closing the door shut behind you, you rummage through your handbag to find the packet of blotting paper you are sure you put in there. just as you see it, your eyes catch onto a bright red, packaged candy lodged in the far corner. donghyuck returns to his side of the car just as you withdraw the stick from the bag, eyes gleaming as you held it out for him to see. 

"that's-"

"the lollipop you gave me, that day, at the valentine's dance." you give a small childlike chuckle before unwrapping the candy. he looks almost distressed, "and you're eating it now?" 

"yeah, why the heck not."

"i mean, i thought that you'd save it for, you know, sentimental value." your eyebrows raise with his comment.

"huh, i never pegged you as one who cared about that kinda stuff." 

"i- well, i guess there's never a better time to learn."donghyuck took a deep breath.

"how 'bout this then?" you position the lollipop up and slightly to the left of his face as your other hand busies around the bag for your phone. swiping to the camera, you take a few shots of donghyuck's confused, enlightened, and then smiling face before withdrawing, "how's that for sentimental value?"

his eyes are in full acknowledgement of your cheeky attitude but he's thrown off guard just a few seconds later when your phone is thrust in his face, your lockscreen the same picture you'd taken moments ago. "cute, right?"

donghyuck's hands are shaking as he reverses the car from the parked spot with feigned ease. "yeah, real cute," he mutters under his breath but just at the right pitch for you to hear. the small smile that graces your snickering expression just shoves it further into his face that any way he tries to rationally run from you, he'd end up right back in your presence, drawn to you in ways even he cannot yet comprehend. he knows that no matter if he tries to avoid the fact that every moment spent with you further solidifies his daydreams into reality or tries to delude himself into thinking that he's in this solely for the fifty bucks, either way, he's fucked. 

donghyuck's beyond stressed and more than ever wishing that time could work in his favor for once and pick up pace past the worrisome week ahead. he has an inkling that the library is already packed to the brim but he's convinced that if he wishes hard enough for a spot, one will magically clear itself for his studies. with no time to waste, he power walks past the information desk, past several rows of rich literature, and into the open field of desks. his suspicions, as they turned out, were right. each and every seat was occupied by one of many equally stressed out college students, cramming for the first day of finals that marked just under eight hours from now. donghyuck takes a roundabout the whole floor, just to make sure that he wasn't missing out on one of the coveted cushioned seats by the walls if any happened to be free. he's about to exit the premises, regret lining his already deteriorating mindset at the thought of having to  memorize two months of information with chenle's music blasting from above, all three of jeno's cats taking purchase of his lap, and jisung entering every four minutes for entertainment purposes. 

he really is about to exit, that is, until he sees you at the far corner of the establishment, earbuds tucked in securely, a sprawl of two computers, a tablet, three open books, and a whole ass stationary store displayed in front of you. in between two tall shelves and peering through a few books, he knows that if anyone were to comb their eyes about the room, they'd think him to be stalking. weighing his options, he decides to let you study in peace, not wanting to interrupt whatever was going on in that organized mess of yours. 

donghyuck contemplates though, with the consideration that you had to have been at the library for a fairly decent amount of time to have secured such a good spot. the second the idea is brought to mind, he rushes out the building, almost sprinting and earning a few dirty looks thrown in his direction.

he really wishes he had driven his car instead of biking here, something jeno had convinced him was a good idea, but he makes do with what he has and pedals furiously to the convenience store on campus, a good nine minutes away. there, he buys a few bottles of energy drinks, other extremely caffeinated stuff, candy bars, and decides after a good minute, that chips were not the way to go, the loud packaging would give away to the strict eating policies all too easily. a stupid bright smile is plastered across his face, even as he finds himself paying an extra dollar for a bag to hold all the items. again, pedaling back furiously, he manages to make it to the library in only eight minutes this time but it's for naught since he spends the next fifteen with one knee propped on the seat of the bike, using it as a makeshift table to write and rewrite a little note to accompany the goods. 

stuffing the paper bag into his backpack and switching it so that it's strapped on his chest rather than his back, he hurries into the vicinity to find that you're still there. donghyuck waits. he picks up a book on graduate level psychology and attempts to read it with one eye on the text and the other on you, not that that's how it works, both his eyes are really on you. he does this for a total of forty minutes until you finally get up for the restroom and on cue, donghyuck makes sure to be discreet when sliding from between two bookshelves and placing the paper bag upon your seat. he leaves promptly.

donghyuck arrives home with his heart thumping loudly, reminiscent of the feeling after running a whole marathon. his phone dings and his first thought is of you. instead, it's a reminder: religious studies final, 8:00 AM. the time above it reads 1:09 A.M., so much for 'no time to waste,' he thinks.

you're relieved that your quick restroom break was quick enough that your stuff wasn't cleared out by the snappy librarian or any other crazed undergrad. but to your confusion, your spot has now been replaced with a brown paper bag, medium in size and clandestine in contents. with careful hands, you slit open the bag, keeping your distance in the unlikely case that it was a motion-activated bomb (a valid fear, may i add). surprise lights your face as you see a few of your favorite candies, as well as a bundle of energy drinks that you so desperately need. a post-it is tacked to one of them and you pluck it up with two fingers and bring it to sight. 'hope this helps, don't get in trouble for eating tho. -ldh.' 

you pause, your breath halts. a small hand accompanies your gaping mouth that regresses into a soft smile. this boy, he was really something else. your dedicated studies continued, but were futile given the fact that all you could think about was lee donghyuck, a sweet, sweet boy who waited god knows how long for you to take a restroom break so he didn't interfere with your concentration. lee fucking donghyuck. dissolving your emotions so you could dutifully return to your misery, you let your shoulders sag, letting out a sigh, what a mess you were in. 

with finals out of the way, you're now facing the second big event of the month. a heavily anticipated move. the apartment you're currently occupying is quaint, but small, cozy, but inconvenient. unfortunately, jeno had already headed back to his hometown, having one less class and therefore one less final than you. none of your other friends were equipped with the abilities to be hauling heavy furniture to and fro so you were left to either pay someone or find someone. much of your conscious had already decided who that someone would be but you lacked the courage to carry the proposition through. 

you pondered the situation while driving to your new place that was closer to campus, larger in size, and with thicker walls so you wouldn't have to hear your neighbor pounding her boyfriend in 8D audio with only a cardboard wall to separate your eyes from the scene. pulling into a parking space you steeled your resolve and dialed the number.

he picked up in one and a half rings, "y/n? hey, what's up?" donghyuck's voice comes out raspy on your end.

"shoot did i wake you up?"

the boy clears his throat, lying he replies, "no i was just packing, do you need anything?"

"uhh, yeah. a favor. if you could, i just need someone to go to ikea with me to help carry furniture and stuff. and since jeno's out of town, i just thought i'd ask you."

"oh," he sits up straight in his bed, "yeah, yeah i can go with you. when?" 

"maybe like...now? sorry, this is so last minute.”

donghyuck is already on the move, unearthing your favorite sweatshirt of his from his already packed suitcase, "no, not at all. i'm basically done here anyways."

"right, cool. i'll text you the address. when will you be here?"

"ten minutes," he blurts out, "i- is that good?"

"okay, see you." you hang up, heart hammering in your chest. 

you wish the mirror in your new bathroom was full-length because you are currently stood atop the rim of the bathtub adjacent to it, the crown of your head unceremoniously shoved against the rail of the shower curtain, trying to get a good look at whether your ensemble is fit for the occasion. a baby blue mini crop top with a pair of loose sweats drapes your figure and you wonder if furniture shopping with the boy you like requires something a little more cohesive. sighing, you figure that all your worrying was in vain, since the moving van you ordered with all your packed up clothes in it isn’t scheduled to arrive until 6 in the evening. 

just as you finish reapplying your gloss, the doorbell sounds, the unfamiliar ring causing you to yelp in surprise. you answer the door, donghyuck's face lit with humor, "i heard that." your cheeks flame a tad bit before you realize with a pout, "oh, guess the walls aren't as thick as i thought then." donghyuck smirks, an expression that you miss but you go on to list to him the things you were planning to buy that you didn't already have moved in yet. a couch, two lamps, a nightstand, and four very specific potted plants. he watches you with sparkles in his eyes, as if they were reflecting your own.

"right let's go, then," nodding, he snatches his keys.

"your car or mine?"

"mine, the trunk's bigger," he reasons and you nod.

minutes later, you stand dumbfounded as you stare at his 'bigger trunk.'

"so you're saying, that you're gonna shove a whole ass couch in here."

"that's right, sweetie." not even thinking to correct his term of endearment, you slam the trunk door shut, nearly decking him in the head. "if it doesn't fit, i'm having you ride the bus back with the couch."

"sure thing, babe." he answers nonchalantly, seeing as you haven't caught on.

"and alone too, i'm not bouta be seen in public with a man carrying a couch on a bus."

"got it, honey." he’s beginning to enjoy this.

"shit, maybe i'll even have you pay for it if that happens."

"fine by me, love." his smile is on the verge of splitting his ears.

shutting the car door of the passenger seat closed, "gosh, what if i just send you to get the stuff by yoursel- wait, what did you just say?"

donghyuck's face shines golden in the afternoon light, "nothing, dear." 

"hyuck, you gotta be kidding me." 

"kidding about what, babygirl?" he looks as if he is to burst of happiness.

"lee donghyuck, i'm being serious." but the little smile that edges on your face gives it all away so he goes on.

"as am i, lovebug."

shaking your head, you turn to look out the window in embarrassment as donghyuck pulls out of the parking spot with the stupidest grin on his face. it isn't until you guys are halfway there that he returns to a normal calm but fails to guard his mouth from saying anymore. "you good, sweetpea?"

"hyuck…"

"c'mon, say it back, princess, i know you want to." he gives a few quick glances in your direction, eyebrows jutting up playfully.

the smallest of smiles adorn your face as you let out a, "geez, baby," muttered under your breath. the same old stupid smile is back on his face now, his ears are perked, but you can tell he’s nowhere near satisfied yet.

"what'd you say? i couldn't quite hear you."

silence.

"y/n, c’mon, what'd you say?"

"... i said...geez, my lil’ bitch."

he breaks out into ripples of harmonious laughter that ring in your ears like the first few chords of your favorite song. you follow him, peals of laughter emitting at just the sight of his joyous face. this marks the first car ride you share with the boy that isn’t bathed in complete silence but instead, smiles and comfort and bouts of flirty tension hanging in the air despite no one spectating. 

the trip to ikea is straightforward in its purpose, you point and donghyuck carries. he masks the fact that he really isn't the one for heavy lifting jobs pretty well by wiping the sweat off his forehead when you're not looking and taking gargantuous swigs of water when you're too busy measuring dimensions and surveying durability. he also makes sure he has a say in the pieces you decide on, wanting something for you to remember him by whenever you look at the extra flower print pillow cases he convinced you to buy. while you're paying at the checkout, he makes it his job to buy two vanilla ice cream cones for you to commemorate hard work. the smile and shy thank you that you give him makes him feel a good deal important. 

donghyuck ends up exerting a lot more energy than he thought he would on this little venture, shoving the gigantic box of unassembled couch half into the trunk and half into the backseat, the rest of your purchases having little to no space to themselves. you notice his fatigued state and offer to drive home in his place. he's hesitant to agree but feels the weight of his arms and complies. as soon as the car doors are shut and the overhead light goes out, the two of you take a few minutes to collect yourselves. 

"thanks for today, hyuck."

he closes his eyes, head leaning back on the headrest, "my pleasure, sweetheart." you start up the car. 

halfway into the drive you notice that donghyuck has started to nod off. feeling a little more courageous at the thought of him being unaware, you slip a hand into his, one still securely on the wheel. you smile to yourself, nodding along to the upbeat song playing on the radio, the volume turned down to the lowest dial. you pride yourself for being able to get away with the action but you only think you do. donghyuck knows the feeling of your skin on his. he knows the unmistakable sparks that ignite in his little belly of butterflies, and even if he is half asleep, he feels you more than anything. he loves you more than anything.

you convince hyuck to take the guest bedroom for the night, laying newly washed sheets on the bed just seconds before he passes out on top of them. oddly though, you yourself are woken up the following day by a string of curse words that come from the living room. groggy and barely awake, you trudge into the open space to see donghyuck with an instruction manual inches away from his face, his eyebrows drawn in. parts of the couch are sprawled all around him and you wonder when and how he woke up in the first place.

"hyuck, what're you doing?" your voice is still heavily-laden with sleep and you cross the room to the kitchen, reaching for the first water bottle you see. "woke up a bit early and thought i'd do this for you since i have to leave at 10 for my flight and i didn't want you to be doing this alone."

you crouch on the floor beside him and offer him the water which he takes. "that's...very thoughtful of you." he doesn't answer but continues assembling the pieces with a proud smile on his face. meanwhile, you busy yourself by making a small breakfast with what you have in the fridge, a simple egg, cheese, ham english muffin sandwich. he eats it gratefully by shoveling it down hurriedly so he can get back to work, giving you a few feel-good laughs. he's done in about an hour and, not without your help, the couch is up and running (or sitting) and the two of you are reclined upon it, the new-couch smell overwhelming your senses. donghyuck checks the time and mumbles a quiet, "oh shoot," before he stands up abruptly, turning to tell you with sullen eyes that he has a flight to catch. you nod and walk him to the door, standing just across the threshold from him, dolefulness apparent in your expression as well. 

"i guess i'll see you in a few weeks then," he voices as he looks up at you, tying his shoelaces.

"yeah, i guess so," your eyes never leave his, "make sure to tell your little siblings that y/n says hi okay?"

"psh, you've never even met them," donghyuck stands up straight now and you're craning your neck a little at his height.

"oh, so that one time over facetime doesn't count now?"

donghyuck gives a breathy laugh, he goes in for a hug that you reciprocate warmly. reluctance lies in his countenance as he draws back, not wanting to leave you so soon. you notice his lingering stare on you and instead of teasing him, or pointing it out, you urge him on with a hand on either side of him, "just go hyuck, i promise i'll call you later this week."

his stomach does little flips, "oh, okay," he says with a small voice, "i'll get going now then."

"okay, be safe."

"i will, babe." he just stands there looking at you with eyes full of mirth.

"oh my, hyuck, just go!" a small pout begins to form on his lips and you get the sudden urge to kiss it away.

"right, i'll be on my way." he turns away from you to walk to his car, but it's this time that you spin him back around to place a quick kiss to the lips, the smile on your face never leaving. feeling the blush beginning to seep into the skin of your cheeks, you rush back into the confines of your new apartment, leaving donghyuck to his own, flustered, devices. his feels lightheaded the whole flight back and it isn't until he is greeted at the door of his childhood home with the face of his mom, that he is brought back down from the heavens.

"donghyuck oppa has a girlfriend," his youngest sibling drawls out the last syllable as if to prolong the shock the simple statement has already inflicted upon him. his eyes are rounded and searching for any sign of disapproval in his parents’ demeanors but more so because he never intended for his family to know of your existence, seeing as it would be imminently irrelevant in just a few weeks. not only was it to dodge otherwise unimportant questions but his resolution was also linked to the fact that making you known to his immediate family felt like solidifying the ever-so-fake bond that persisted between you and him. surely, even though your relationship with him was anything but real, though was portrayed in the most real fashion, he couldn't admit to himself that the idea of you as his girlfriend in the eyes of his family brought him joy. 

he watches as his mother claps her hands together in glee, exclaiming with full vindication, "how could you not tell me, hyuck!" she asks for a picture of you, your name, last name, major, how he had come to know you, when did this happen, (did you guys do it yet), and most importantly, if he loved you. he answers a quiet yes to his mother's last question but she seems to have moved on to intently stare into his phone screen that's displaying a picture you posted on your instagram a few weeks prior at the flower field. the first being a solo shot, your hair billowing lightly in the winds that seemed to blow solely for you, the gaze of your eyes fell heavy and serious, a stark contrast to the picture a swipe away, of you and donghyuck gleaming with matching smiles that rivaled the brightness of the sun, the caption reading 'my pooh bear <3.' looking back at the picture now even, he really does understand his mothers coos and 'aws.' you did indeed look ethereal.

he blushes at the thought of you and spends the rest of dinner steering conversation away from you and you-related topics, not wanting to delude himself any further from the truths that were itching in the back of his mind, that no matter how much his mother loved you, or even how much he loved you, it'd be hard for him to say that you held the same intense emotions for him as well. donghyuck retires into the confines of his childhood room as the general buzz of his family lowers into the night and he finds himself staring at pictures of him in high school, before he had met you. he wonders, for the first time, if he liked life better back then. chubby cheeks and a terrible smile, he still remembers looking in the mirror and thinking, handsome, but it's only been a few years in college and he can't remember the last time he looked in the mirror with his first thought being something other than will she think i look okay? donghyuck's string of consciousness derails further into the depths of despair, looking back on the lengths he'd gone to get a girl to getting the girl and loosing her, getting her again and loosing her again, and having to sever his true feelings from his façade just so that he could still claim you as his.

but then he's reminded of you, and how you're so dedicated in your studies but somehow still making time for friends and family. how when you care for people you care and especially of how he feels when he is the subject of your attention. donghyuck brings his little emotional escapade into a full circle when he realizes that he would still do anything to claim you as his because he simply cannot have it any other way. that despite the consistent feeling that he might never be enough for you, he would try to prove himself wrong, time and time again. that despite being dumped twice and a soon-to-be third time, he would still stick by your side, persistent if anything. he didn't just have feelings for you, a part of who he is today is built up by the successes you seemingly made him chase to become a better person in the name of you and for that, he could never see you in a different light and his heart will never fail to fail him at the sight of you.

but tonight, it's the contact name, my love, that lights his phone screen that makes his heart stutter. it's the way that your scratchy voice cracks through the speaker that makes his heart whimper. he gets up in fluid motions to shut the door of his bedroom closed, to allow himself to revel in your attention, undisturbed.

"hey there, i told you i'd call so i called," your think your voice sounds dumb, having rehearsed that same line a few times prior to actually following through with it. donghyuck loves it though, doesn't even acknowledge the rehearsed tone as he takes this as a chance to dive into a piled up vent on how his damned little sister, who shouldn't even know what girlfriends and boyfriends are, had outed his relationship with you in front of his whole family. he's nervous, but for only a split second because your hearty laughter fill his ears and suddenly sets the whole world still and at peace. he sighs in comfort as he listens to how your older brother brought his own boyfriend home and had been received just as warmly. he talks of how his mother's roast duck was slightly undercooked and how right in the middle of dinner he snuck it into the kitchen for an extra minute in the microwave. the two of you laugh at how chenle's proposition for a movie night gets widely left on read by everyone else in the group chat, though you end up feeling bad for the boy (and for laughing) and end up replying and setting up a time for when everyone returns to campus. 

you feel a warm squirm in your heart and for once, you know what caused it. the boy on the other end of the line is so very endearing that you have no space for second guessing anymore. perhaps, perhaps.

talk dwindles down as you both get ready to go to bed at a starking 2:17 a.m. but it seems that sleepy you has more than enough to say. your eyes are on the brightly lit moon that's hanging out your window frame adjacent to your bed. you'd like to think that donghyuck is looking at the same moon, thinking the same things. it's a new but welcomed feeling that enters your heart, blooming into your lungs so that at the occurrence of every breath you take, you are reminded of the warmth he brings you. it's a sappy and deeply rooted feeling that you only now realize has been with you for ages on end and with this realization comes the courage to voice it aloud.

"i love you, hyuck. i fucking love you to bits and pieces."

you think he's already fallen asleep, the quiet that he's offering not doing any good to ease your wavering thoughts. not that you regretted saying what you said, it was truly what you felt for him, whether the relationship was real or not. but you weren't sure if he felt even remotely the same so staying under the umbrella of a fake relationship gave you the opportunity, should the times ever call, to recant your words in the name of performative indication.

the seconds were whizzing by quickly and your anxious mind counted to four minutes. four minutes of dead silence on his part. it's fine, you think as you hang up at the fifth minute, he probably just fell asleep. a weird feeling settles in the pits of your stomach that night. lee donghyuck likes you, that's for sure, but maybe you were the one that was rushing into it this time around. maybe hyuck expected you to bring up the fact that the two of you were still unofficially dating. or maybe he just liked to play around with your feelings while he could during this month. it was a mind boggling mess but you refused to let the boy get the best of you as you drifted off into sleep.

only god and lee donghyuck himself know that he heard you loud and clear that night. the three words he'd been yearning to hear finally and in actuality formed from your lips, for him and him only. but fate tells him it was only a figment of his half-asleep imagination, and only god knows that what he heard wasn't a dream. 

huang renjun beckons lee donghyuck into the kitchen before the movie marathon begins. today marks one month. donghyuck pulls his phone out to see the hundred dollars even that renjun had transferred, he then transfers fifty of that to you. "so you guys still going strong?"

hyuck feels guilt and worry trickle between his grasps on confidence, "better than ever."

"she actually likes you back, huh, i can't believe i thought y'all would break up." renjun is pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose, his gaze is turned towards the living room where everyone is gathered when donghyuck sees his eyebrows furrow. "shit, i forgot chenle invited mark." donghyuck turns to see his 'girlfriend' being hit on by one of his close upperclassmen. you seem to be oblivious but it's horridly obvious whenever mark attempts to flirt. seeing you smiling at his corny pickup lines, not quite laughing but not quite rejecting him either, donghyuck feels tendrils of unwelcome jealousy and hopeless distress as he traverses on light feet to where you're at, placing a hand on your lower back.

"hi, mark. it's been awhile, how're you these days?" he watches and, in what he knows is sick relief, mark blinks in surprise at the placement of his friend's hand that is plainly indicative of a relationship. "i've been pretty good, you?"

"great actually," donghyuck might've said that a little too enthusiastically, "i saw you were talking to y/n here. i don't think i've introduced you guys yet. mark, this is y/n, my girlfriend, y/n this is mark, a good friend of mine." he sees the pointed look you give him and is suddenly overcome with embarrassment. mark takes a few more minutes of your time before moving on to talk to renjun, the latter noting the tension between you and donghyuck and willing the boy away. 

"donghyuck, what the fuck was that?" you're upset.

"what? he was being weird with you, i couldn't just sit here and pretend he wasn't." hyuck's attitude is snappy right off the bat and you can't help but seethe at how immature he's proving to be.

you retort, with equal force, "yeah, so what if he was flirting with me? what does that have to do with you?"

donghyuck starts to realize that there might be more to the reason you were so defensive in the first place, something having to do with the fact that in the most technical terms, he isn't exactly your boyfriend anymore. "y/n, why are you being like this?"

"like what? i think i'm being pretty rational."

"no. no, y/n, but he was outright flirting with you and you didn't even tell him you had a boyfriend." he knows he's grasping at loose strings but he needs to pry this out of you. to see how you really feel.

"hyuck, we need to talk about it. it's been a month."

as if you had laid it out straight for him, donghyuck feels the desperation crawl beneath his skin, "y/n, please." his tone is all of a sudden soft and you lock your eyes onto his. "let's not talk about it right now, please, not now." he watches as you bite your lower lip in contemplation and then as you nod lightly. "okay."

donghyuck isn't sure if his impulsive decisions have made him feel more relieved or afflicted with current circumstances. as the lights dim and the movie begins to run, he settles into the corner of the sectional that he claimed earlier that evening with his arms open wide. you don't hesitate to curl up on top of him, the warmth of his skin, all too familiar. both of you are ever so aware that this might as well be the last time your bodies are pressed against one another. and both of you are equally tormented by how true that may come to be.

the clock reads 3:37 a.m. when the movie ends and donghyuck is glad to see that the rest of the boys are quiet in exiting the room to their respective bedrooms. he can still feel the rise and fall of your chest on his and he's oh so careful not to move too abruptly, in the case that you might wake up and realize just where you had fallen asleep. he wishes that he could've spent a few more minutes, at least, admiring the curves of your face in the limited color the dim lights allow to reflect but it all passes too soon as someone (chenle) hits something (a doorframe) with some part of his body (his pinky toe) and wails out in pain (loud shrills), alerting you awake and anyone else that had the pleasure of falling straight asleep. he curses under his breath without realizing that you were right there and awake now, only feeling the embarrassment wash over him as your soft chuckle fills his ears. 

"sorry, 'bout that. go back to sleep." his voice is low and you're so close to slipping back into unconsciousness but you will yourself to prop your chin up on his chest, directly above his quaking heart. "i'm hungry, hyuck."

he almost laughs at the absurdity of your statement. he guesses it's not completely unwarranted though since you have been asleep for the past nearly five hours but he still feels a small part of his subconscious mind tug at just how cute you are. so very cute.

"okay, princess. let's get you something to eat," he says as he dips his hands that were loosely looped around your back underneath your thighs and hoists both your combined weight up. your eyes are gleeful as he pulls you even closer to him, your own arms settling upon his shoulders. crossing the length of the room, he sets you down upon the kitchen counter. allowing himself to bask in your unadulterated attention for a few moments, he realizes the eerie silence that envelops the two of you. he slips his phone out from his sweatpants pocket and thumbs around until he lands upon a random playlist of his on spotify. hitting play, he sets the phone on the counter next to you, lowering the volume just a bit so that it wouldn't disturb the others in the house. 

as donghyuck rummages through the fridge for some food, you fiddle with the zipper of the hooded jacket you're wearing. you're hit with the realization that the jacket isn't even yours to begin with and that it's hyuck's, the garment having been such a staple in your closet for the past month that it barely smells of him anymore, that it really is all yours at this point. looking around the dark room, you find yourself identifying everything you see in relation to hyuck. before you knew it, this little fake dating stunt had become so real that it was hard for you to swallow the feelings. 

attempting to push past the oncoming wave of emotions, you focus your attention on other things. donghyuck's now throwing what looks like a years old hotpocket into the microwave without a plate. his back is turned to you but instead of getting lost in his messy bed hair and broad shoulders you notice the new song that replaces the previous one. it's mellow and soft and it takes you four seconds to realize just what song it is. slow dancing in the dark (by joji). maybe it really is about time to come clean with your feelings, no matter if they could be rejected or reciprocated. it isn't fair to be dragging this on, when it was fated to be ending right now, a reason to which you had broken up with him before anyways. for all you know, donghyuck might even be waiting for you to call it all off, in annoyance since the fifty dollars had already been done deal. looking around, you figure it's now or never as you slide off the counter, landing carefully on sock-clad feet. padding over, you wrap donghyuck in a snug back hug, hoping that he catches on to the situation.

he does, eventually, after you spin him about and lace your hands around his neck, swinging him around in exaggerated and silly motions. he responds with a hushed, "oh!" and continues prancing around with you before finally settling against the steady beat. the song does its job so well in calming your heart that you almost forget the reason you were a jittery mess in the first place. you prep your sappy, truth-laden speech with gruesome effort, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. little do you know, donghyuck is planning the same monologue, equally as gruesome.

the beep of the microwave resounds in the background, alerting you of how you came to this situation in the first place. but with this, his head dips into the crook of your neck as the song comes to a slow and you move your hand from his back to cradle his head. "what's wrong?" the kitchen is now silent, save for the occasional chirp of crickets and your feet shuffling around the tiled floor. donghyuck is silent himself, an inner debate ensuing your question. his chest feels heavy, the burden of a thousand lies resting upon it whilst he can only hold back his tears. he has everything he's ever wanted from you. to rest in your arms, to land a smile upon your lips, to hear an 'i love you' escape those very lips. he feels his emotions bubble up within him, threatening to spill before they really do, in the form of a soft, "i love you, y/n. that's what's wrong, i love you."

he raises his head causing your hands drop down to his back and he instantly misses the way they caressed the locks beneath his ears. he meets your eyes, through the thick haze of blackness that shrouded the room. "and i love you too," you say, voice equally soft but treading carefully; you're still unaware of the problem he's presenting, "what so wrong about that?" you tiptoe so that your foreheads meet and he has to suppress the urge to kiss you right then and there, to evade the hurt he knows will come, and so he simply hugs your body flush against his, as a substitute to his desires. your breaths tickles his nose and he closes his eyes, relishing in the moment before inevitably breaking it by saying, "because i mean it… and you- you don't. not in the way i do." your eyes penetrate his and your mouth parts to voice a response but he cuts you to it. "y/n, my love for you is real. it's always been. and i knew what i was getting into asking you do this with me but, i really wanted a second chance. i wanted it so bad and when renjun brought up the bet, even if it was fake, i just knew i had to take it. and i know this is shitty of me to just drop this on you while we're having this- this moment but i can't keep lying and pretending that my love for you is just- that it's conditional."

donghyuck lets out a breathy sigh as your hands fall from his back, his heart falling with them too. he can't see the expression on your face anymore, his eyes are glossed over with tears that are at the cusp of falling, but he isn't sure that he wants to. he's mad at himself for ruining the most perfect moment, for ruining such a calm night. the tension in the air is almost palpable but it's ripped to shreds as your hands return to cup his cheeks. tilting your head a little, you lean in for a sweet kiss, a small smile lifting the corners of your mouth as you withdraw. "who says i don't love you for real?"

it takes more than two minutes for donghyuck to collect himself, still in doubt of whether he's dreamt up the whole situation or if you are, in fact, being real. you're standing in his arms to remind him that you really are, sneaking small kisses on his cheeks every time he thinks he's finally calmed down. it's a lover's dream to be lee donghyuck, and y/l/n y/n can only fall deeper in love with every blossom of a blush rosing the tips of his ears. 

you thank god, or whoever blessed this boy upon your life, that donghyuck was there that night at that stupid, stupid valentine's dance. and above all, you are endlessly indebted to renjun for his stupid, stupid bet. but mostly, you can't contain the utter awe you hold for donghyuck for simply being the perfect man he is. contrary to everyone's belief (and even your own, up until recently), donghyuck isn't an insufferable person. what they see is just a shell of a man who's too afraid to be the center of attention in any way other than 'the funny guy.' and realistically, it's only with the girl who's stolen his heart that he knows it's more than okay to be vulnerable and that maybe, just maybe, it's the only way to steal her heart back. 

y/n and donghyuck share a love story they know they're lucky to be able to tell their kids and maybe even their grandkids. and if they have anything to learn from it, it's that falling in love is not just a matter of time but of circumstances, impulsive decisions, and reckless emotions. well, mostly just reckless emotions.

copyright © 2020 rouiyan all rights reserved.

✧ end note — i got my first few likes on this blog a few days back and while i can say with full confidence that i do not write for follows and likes, it made me happy in the small yet extremely gratifying ways that simply writing and posting cannot. so for those few people who interacted with the teaser for this fic as well as anyone else who read up till here, guys, gals, and non-binary pals, i hope each and every one of you enjoyed reading this as much as i did writing this. with love, rouiyan.