#also even though i know elle leaves in like two episodes its so lovely to see her and morgan go on vacation together

[hookechoes]

truly so lovely to watch my BAU babies go on vacation even though it wont last lol

[boldlyvoid]

ooo can you elaborate more on the Jeid drama? i’m invested😅😅

okay i have to preface this with i am not a jeid shipper i don't think they'd be good together i just love drama. like greys anatomy level drama where everyone has dated each other and it's wild, okay? good, glad we got that covered... anyway i think that Spencer is Henry's real father.

so in season 1 you see spencer has a crush on JJ (i think he had one on elle to i mean who wouldn't? and he's such a little nerd he's just desperate for some lovin') and everyone knew too, that's why Gideon gets him two tickets to see JJ's favourite team play baseball so the two of them can bond... but then JJ brought Penelope along and it became a friends thing.

in the beginning of the series, JJ is one of those tomboy girls who picks on the boys she likes. you see it in S2E14 The Big Game when she's playing darts with those boys and she beats them both and ruffles their hair before going out to answer the phone. that's her way of flirting. so every time she's "mean" or "rude" to spencer (not letting him speak, calling out his inability to stop talking when the convo gets "boring" etc.) that is her trying to be cute and funny with him but he never picked up on it. he didn't understand that her basically bullying him was her way of flirting.

in the next episode, when reid has been taken by tobias, she is distraught. she feels as though failed him as a teammate and it was her responsibility to watch out for him. it's also the first time she realizes just how much she loves him. be it as a friend and teammate or something more. she even tries to get derek to yell at her to validate her feelings but everyone knows it's just a bit of bad luck and could've happened to anyone.

when they find reid, she rushes to hug him and she follows hotch towards reid, watches as hotch lifts him from the floor and she holsters her weapon. she clasps her hands together tightly and waits to know if he's okay. Hotch hugs him first and then she's quick to wrap herself around him and hold him close and she apologizes to him. but then she retreats, it's too much for her, so she walks away and leaves him with derek and gideon until he asks to be left alone (to steal the drugs)

spencer struggles a lot for the remainder of season 2, he's addicted to drugs, he's trying to prove that he's strong and confident and he doesn't want to be babied anymore. he flips on derek, emily and butts heads with Hotch but never JJ. in this time she meets Will and observes spencer ditching the team to go be with an old friend, he's not good at following orders at the moment. While JJ on the other hand is at a bar with Will, wanting to follow the rules to a T and when he asks if she hasn't had much practice flirting or dealing with being jealous, she replies "its a culture thing" and by the end of the episode she gives him her number. -- i think this is because she's tried her way of flirting with reid for 2 years now and it's gone no where, so she's moving on.

she gives Spencer his space until the last episode of season 2 when they've partnered up again and JJ makes sure to look at him and say "woah, hey. no matter what happens this time, we don't split up. clear?" and he responds, "crystal clear." she doesn't want to ever lose him. no matter whats going on in her personal life, she loves him. she couldn't handle losing him.

Season 3 episode 1: Doubt. JJ and Reid are sent to talk to the girls at the dorm about the serial killer on campus that is killing girls with brown hair. the girls trust them and when JJ tells them they have a suspect in custody, they think that means the killer has been caught and that they're free to go about their days as normal. when another victim dies, one of the girls on campus takes her anger out on JJ and spits in her face causing spencer to come running to her side and tell the cops to clear the area because he's concerned for JJs safety, he makes sure she's okay, she waves him off but it's still impressive how he went into protector mode so fast for her.

in episode 2 Gideon quits the FBI and in episode 3 spencer is distraught but keeping it together, i believe this is when he officially gets sober, joins AA and starts to live the life Gideon wants for him. he's back to his normal self, sharing facts and putting pieces together without any mental fog. he wears short sleeves again(S3E4), which is a big piece of proof because his injection marks must have faded enough for him to feel comfortable. he's getting his confidence back, he's trying to return to the way he was the night before he got kidnapped. happy, free, confident and himself.

in season 3 JJ is also secretly seeing Will, although everyone has already guessed it. they fly back and forth to see each other but it's hard on them both, they almost break up over it. Will wants them to be in 1 place together and JJ isn't willing to give up her career for a man (rightfully so) in episode 5 Seven Seconds, she's asked if she has kids and her response is "not yet." so she's thinking about kids, she knows she wants them and soon.

as of 3.16 spencer is 10 months sober, he's doing really good even with the cravings. in this episode we see him leave his NA meeting because they've been called to a case and when spencer arrives late Dave jokingly says "i hope she was worth it?" Derek throws in "i hope it was a she" and JJ says quiet, but as soon as she starts to explain the case further she keeps staring at spencer. he has a hard time for most of the episode and she's the only one who doesn't say anything about it.

3.17 we have Will joining them for a case and JJ still hasn't told the team about them dating which is a point of contention for them. he feels like she's ashamed to be dating him and she's claiming that once the team knows her personal business then she has nothing that's just hers to know. they basically break up for a good portion of the episode. the theme of the episode is cheating. Wills buddy is gay and cheating on his fiance, and most the other men were also cheating on their wives.

When Will brings up the fact she's basically got "one foot out of the relationship" he says "what is there another guy? do you want to see another guy?" and she gets the most defensive you have ever seen her. then he finally asks "do you wanna break up?" and she says yes.

I think either she was fucking spencer on the side. or she fucked him once she was single. one of the two.

and based on how pregnant she is at the end of the season (when Hoch finds out) it would seem like this is the episode in which she gets pregnant. (AJ is clearly very pregnant on day 2 of the case in that purple drapey top)

but, at the end of the episode after everything is said and done, she goes back to Will because he's a sure thing. he's the safe option. no matter how scared she is to love who she really wants to, Will is the best option for her. and she probably thinks he might be the father of her baby. it's the right thing to do.

And then there Spencer’s reaction when he finds out she’s pregnant…

flashforward to when shes giving birth to Henry, spencer's in the middle of a case thinking his own father is a pedophile and a murderer and even though JJ is in active labour, she doesn't want to stop helping him. the whole episode is basically centred around what would a parent do for their own child... and it ends with spencer being made Henry's God Father. cause if he can't be her kids dad, she still wants him to be around if god forbid anything happened to her r Will.

like i'm sorry but this kid is a Reid.

I'm just saying that it would be a wicked plot for Henry to do that blood test thing in science calls and find out his blood type doesn't make sense with who his parents are, but it does work if you match his mom and spencers....

[readyourimgaines]

Age Doesn’t Mean Much

Summary: Five times the BAU remembered Reid’s younger than them plus one time they were violently reminded he’s not a child. 

Spoiler/Trigger Warning: The entire ending of the second season’s 15th episode: Revelations. 

Dr. Spencer Reid was merely 21 when SSA Jason Gideon convinced him to join the BAU. With the exception of Aaron Hotchner (who had also read the young doctor’s file) the team wasn’t sure how to feel about the inexperienced man. 

Other than giving a pointer or two to a professor lecturing on a cold case, Reid had no experience working in the field. The others figured that was why the poor kid pushed himself so hard: to prove himself. 

Right after the first case, Elle stopped talking down to him. Half way through the same case, Morgan decided he’d taken the doctor under his wing. JJ was the first of Hotch’s subordinates to warm up to Reid. Their friendship was an awkward one for a couple of days. To an outsider, it looked as though a childhood friend was trying to help the other through a bout of amnesia. 

Though the team never again questioned Reid’s ability on the field, there were times when they were suddenly reminded of Reid’s age. 

1: Trying to Balance on a Curb While Walking

Hotch lost count of how many times Jack would walk on the curb, one foot in the front of the other, both arms outstretched for extra balance. Almost always, one of Jack’s hands would be firmly holding one of his father’s. SSA Hotchner almost laughed at himself when he nearly held Reid’s hand on instinct. 

Reid and Hotch were walking alone to get lunch for the unit while between cases back home. They’d been walking side-by-side while Reid babbled happily about the last book he finished. Hotch contently listened, his mind occasionally wondering. 

Hotch’s mind was pulled back to reality from one of its wonderings when his hand had brushed against Reid’s. The doctor’s hand quickly formed into a fist as he concentrated on his balance, his lips pressed tightly together. While Jack had his arms stretched straight out, Reid held his at more of a slant. 

One thing Hotch quickly noticed, and was surprised the scientifically minded doctor missed, was that Reid’s ever present satchel was throwing him off balance. 

“Reid.”

“Hm?”

“Let me hold onto your bag.” Hotch held his hand out to take the leather bag.

“Why?” Reid’s foot touched down on the road as he lost balance now that he was doing more with his brain than focussing on his footing. 

“It's a hypothesis.” Hotch smirked but Reid missed it, not taking his eyes off his sneakers. 

Carefully, as not to fall, Reid removed his satchel and held it out, blindly, for Hotch to take. The older agent held it by the shorted of the two handles as he continued to walk alongside Reid. 

Hotch chuckled to himself upon seeing the look on Reid’s face. The young doctor was looking at his feet, almost in awe. He hadn’t needed to touch down since Hotch took the bag half a block back. 

Once he walked two blocks on the curb- without losing balance- Reid was content and took his bag back, putting it back over his shoulder so the pouch of it bounced against the opposite hip.

“Did you know the position of an object’s center of gravity affects its stability? The higher the center of gravity is, the easier it is for the object to fall. That’s why a small boat- like a kayak or canoe- is less likely to tip if the occupants are seated lower in the boat. 

“Textbooks usually demonstrate this with either a bus and or two cars of different heights and lengths…” 

2: Mismatched Socks

One of the first things Emily Prentiss noticed about Reid were his mismatched socks. Of course, the other BAU members noticed it too, but they never questioned it. It’s just part of who Reid was. Curiosity got the better of SSA Prentiss. 

“Reid?” 

The doctor looked up from his case file. “Yeah?”

“Why do you never wear matched socks?” She looked down at Reid’s ankles and he followed her gaze. One lavender sock, one pink with blue stripes. 

“My uh- When I was a kid, my mom would tell me it was bad luck to wear matching socks.” Reid pulled the lavender sock back up to where it should be. 

“That doesn’t sound like something that could be scientifically verified.” A slight smirk spread across Emily’s face. 

Reid huffed slightly. “The night I was taken by Tobias… It was the first time I wore matching socks in five years. Burgundy with orange stripes.” Reid blinked heavily, clenching his eyes shut. “I don’t wear socks if they match.” He paused again. “Besides, matching socks are boring. Some people say socks should be a shade darker than their pants or a shade lighter than the shoes- Hotch does the former.

“Also, 82% of men in my age bracket wear mismatched socks at least once a week because we keep losing one of a pair. And a family of four- on average- loses 60 socks a year.” 

3: Playing With Jell-O

Reid loved Jell-O. No-one was really sure why, but didn’t ask, either. Everyone had their favorite dessert, so maybe Jell-O was just his? He liked cake, sure, but he didn’t eat it nearly as often as he ate Jell-O. 

On jet rides back home, no-one ever knew what conversations were bound to come up. This week’s was what the team was going to do with a three day weekend and morphed into best desserts. 

“What about you, Reid?” Prentiss drew Reid from his train of thought.

“Hm?”

“You like Jell-O, don’t you, Pretty Boy?” Morgan checked.

“Yeah.”

“Not even Henry likes Jell-O,” JJ smiled at the thought of her young son. 

“It doesn’t have much of a taste,” Rossi added. 

“I think that’s part of why I like it, actually.” Reid fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. 

“Because it tastes like watered down Kool-Aid?” Rossi frowned.

“Yeah. All the other foods are so strong and Jell-O’s not. It’s cool, but not cold, and it’s fun to play with.”

A ghost of a smile danced across Hotch’s face. “Jack likes playing with it. He gets sad when I don’t buy finger Jell-O on accident.” 

“That’s the only kind I buy.” Reid nodded. “The red is my least favorite- It takes like Red 40.” 

“What is your favorite kind, then?” Rossi couldn’t help but ask. 

“Pineapple. Minimal amounts of dyes and you can see through it.”

“No numbers about Jell-O?” Prentiss challenged with a grin.

JJ, Hotch, and Morgan all smiled while Rossi teasily groaned. The groan got a smile from Reid too. 

“Actually, in the US, the Jell-O brand is recognized- by name and product- by 99% of the populous.” Spencer chortled. “That means that if you got a group of 100 people together, only one person would have no idea what Jell-O is.”  

4: Doodles on Everything

Dr. Spencer Reid didn’t always carry his leather satchel with him. Hotch more or less ordered him to get a notebook he could keep in a pocket. The unit chief didn’t care if Reid drew on his arms. The unit chief cared when Reid jotted down notions or points for the running case.

Garcia loved Reid’s little doodles and had a decently sized collection. She referred to him as a “chronic doodler”. The analysis tech found it almost funny that someone as brilliant and talented as Reid had so little artistic skill outside of his geographic profiling maps. 

Reid knew full well that Garcia collected his doodles. After a particularly stressful case- which always resulted in more doodles, Reid would sign and dare the flip book page before tearing it out and leaving it in Garcia’s bunker. 

There were times when Reid would doodle on his arm rather than the flip book simple because it was more convenient. That didn’t mean Garcia didn’t see those ones. No, no, no. These ones, Reid would take pictures of and send to Garcia when a case was getting to her.

Morgan talked to Garcia more than anyone else on a case. Whether or not Penelope voiced her unease, Morgan- ever the profiler- could tell. He’d have Reid a certain look and the younger man would send Garcia texts of his doodles- evenly spaced- throughout the case. If he did the math and found he didn’t have enough, nothing stopped him from drawing a couple more. 

Hotch and Gideon thought of the times their sons would draw a picture or make them a card when they had a bad day at work. Morgan was reminded of the beaded bracelets his sisters used to make him when he was injured in football or his team lost a game. 

The one hitch with their theory? Garcia was the one person who got to keep the drawings. Not even Reid kept them. She knew this fact and gloated about it to the team whenever she got a new one. All of her computer screens in her bunker had a different doodle as the screen saver. 

5: Dependent on the Team

For the most part, the BAU stuck to themselves after hours if they weren’t going out for drinks. Reid was the one exception and the rest of the team found they didn’t mind. 

JJ was the first one he texted. The message was a simple worded question: How can you tell the difference between romantic feelings and transference? The gentle blonde took it upon herself to explain to the doctor that he’d know when he was in love because how being near the person or even just thinking about them made him feel. 

The media liaison assumed she’d never really see the person Reid texted her about that Sunday evening. She was a little less than shocked to see the light in the young doctor’s eyes shift when Morgan wandered into the bullpen Monday morning.  

A month passed before JJ got a message along the lines of the one she was expecting: Reid asking for advice on how to ask someone out. How to better the wording, how to keep from straying off the point. 

The next day, he texted Elle about flowers: I have a date next weekend. Are flowers too forward?

Elle smiled down at her phone, at Reid’s innocence. She told him that flowers were a nice and caring gesture, but that he’d want to be careful with what flowers he got because different flowers sent different messages. 

This was the first of this Reid was hearing. He thanked Elle and thought more. Hotch was married. He must know a decent amount about flowers and such romantic ideas, right? So he texted Hotch: Do you know anything about flower symbolism? Elle says flowers have different messages to them.

Hotch chuckled, getting Haley’s attention.

“What’s so funny?”

“Do you remember Dr. Spencer Reid?” Hotch looked at the blonde. 

“He’s the shy, Autistic boy, right?” Haley glanced up from feeding Jack.

“Yeah. He’s nervous about an upcoming date and texted to see if I know anything about flowers.” Hotch’s thumb was dancing across the flip-phone’s buttons.

“What are you telling him?”

“That roses have the highest chance of getting him in his date’s bed. Pink camellias and carnations are signs of love and longing; ivy means friendship.” Hotch typed this by naming the flowers, placing an equal sign, and the meaning. 

“Do you know who his date is?”

“Not as far as Reid and his date are concerned.”

So yes, he did.

Friday morning- the morning before his date- Reid sat by himself on the jet ride home, trying to read a book he brought. He couldn’t focus on it for the life of him. He’d been staring at the same page for then minutes. He jumped a little when Gideon sat down across from him.

“What has you so nervous?”

“Noth-” Reid stopped short. That wasn’t the right word; the date meant everything to him. “I uh… I have a date tomorrow evening and I’m worried, I guess. I’ve never actually been on a date, but I really like this person.”

“Okay. So what about it has you worked up?” Gideon’s eyes were gentle and fatherly.

Reid thought about how to answer the question. “We’ve been friends for a while and I don’t- I don’t want to mess up so badly that he doesn’t want to be friends-” Reid froze, his eyes wide. “G-Gideon, I-”

“There’s nothing wrong.” The older man squeezed the younger’s shoulder. “If your friend know you as well as you know him, I think it’s safe to say he’s not too worried about the friendship failing. Sometimes, Reid, you have to take a leap of faith.”

+One: “I choose...Aaron Hotchner.”

“Choose, and prove you’ll do God’s will.”

“No.”

Click. “Choose.”

“I won’t do it.”

Click. “Choose.”

“I...I choose...Aaron Hotchner. He’s a classic narcissist. He thinks he’s better than everyone else on the team. Genesis 23:4, “Let him not deceive himself and trust in emptiness, vanity, falseness, and futility, for these shall be his recompense.” 

Bang. Raphael took a bullet from Tobais’ pocket and held it up, showing it to Reid. “For God’s will.”

Morgan’s heart shattered at seeing his boyfriend crouched over the body of his captor and tormentor. The side of Reid’s head was coated in dry blood, he was avoiding putting weight on his sock-less foot.

Reid limped his way over to Hotch and hesitantly put a hand on his superior’s arm as though he wasn’t sure the man was there. The young man quickly and tightly hugged Hotch.

“I knew you’d understand.”

JJ was the next to hug Reid, the doctor losing his balance slightly and the liaison easily caught him. 

“I am so sorry.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

The second JJ let go of Reid, Morgan stepped forward and pulled Reid into as tight of a hug as he dared. He needed to feel his boyfriend in his arms but he’d seen the same video as everyone else and didn’t want to hurt him more. 

Prentiss was shocked and looked at JJ with wide eyes when Morgan kissed Reid and the doctor eagerly reciprocated. The blonde just smiled.

*****

@stxrryspencer​ @chaoticgremlinwholikescheese​ @the-need-for-reid-speed​ 

[imagineaworlds]

I Love You (Part Ten) -- Aaron Hotchner

Written By: @desperately-bisexual​

Request: None.

Warnings: Mentions of getting shot. Mentions of blood. Explosions. Mentions of kidnapping. Mentions of stalking. Literally the whole shabang.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Greenaway!Reader

Word Count: 11066

Timeline: Season 2 Episode 01. Right after part nine.

HOTCH’S POV

Morgan came into my office just as the sun was rising over Quantico. The rest of the BAU, and really all of the FBI, was just starting to pour into the building for a long day’s work. He told me that Y/N went to get donuts and coffee for everyone, and offered me the chance to order something if I wanted. I stared at him with a blank face for a moment. No one went with them? We had an Unsub stalking us, and no one left Quantico with them? What the hell were Reid and Morgan thinking? Gideon made JJ hold a press conference almost two hours prior— which was a bad idea on its own— and now Y/N left without anyone with them? I didn’t doubt that they could handle themselves. I knew that they could. But this guy knew everything about us. We could afford to take such a risk.

“No. I don’t want anything,” I responded calmly. Morgan shrugged and nodded, patting the door frame before leaving. The second he was out of sight, I picked up my cell and started calling them. They picked up after the first ring.

“Morgan was supposed to call me with your order, Aaron.”

“I know, I know. Why did you leave without someone else?”

I could hear the annoyance and defiance in their voice, “It’s not that big of a deal, Hotch. I’m just going to Leonard’s for donuts and coffee, and then I’ll be right back. You won’t even miss me.”

I already missed them, though. And I was already worried about them. They should have just gone home or stayed at the office. They knew better. But they were also reckless, and they didn’t like to listen to me. It was fun for them to push my buttons, but this simply wasn’t the time.

“Leonard’s and right back. I’m serious.”

“You promised to not worry so much about me,” they sing-songed.

I couldn’t help it. They sprang the “I love you” on me just the other night, and it awoke something in me that I hadn’t felt since Haley. Actually… to tell the truth, it didn’t even feel this way with Haley. All my life, I thought I was going to spend it with Haley; but she got tired of waiting around for me, and I couldn’t blame her. Then Y/N came along, and something changed. I didn’t have to pretend or settle for them. This job was just as important to them as it was for me. Making it work rather than putting unfair pressures on each other made me feel comfortable and loved. And now they were telling me to not worry about them as if I hadn’t said “I love you” back to them the other night and in Jamaica yesterday. I loved them with every inch of me and I worried about them every second of every day. I earned that right when I saw them playing with Jack and getting along so well with him. I earned that right when we said “I love you” to each other. I earned that right when they became my partner. I knew our rules, I knew our dynamic… But none of my feelings just washed away whenever I would get to work, contrary to popular belief.

“I'm not worried,” I lied. “I love you.”

I could practically hear them smiling through the phone. “I love you, too.”

We hung up our call and I sighed. They would be fine. Leonard’s was just a few blocks away— not even a ten minute drive. They would be around people, in the public eye. No one would be able to take them if they were being careful. And then they would be back before I could even say their name.

I stood and exited my office to check on the rest of the unit who was just now appearing for work. They all seemed busy, yet entirely ignorant of what was really going on. They only knew what everyone else had seen on the news, and that was all they needed to know. Everything was going to be fine. Like Y/N said, I had nothing to worry about.

And then I spotted Anderson at the copy machine.

My brows furrowed as I hurried down the ramp outside of my office and called his name. He looked up from the machine and fixed his posture to stand at attention like a soldier would for his commanding officer. I asked him where Elle was, and he only responded with a confused look. I asked him why he was back already, and he still looked confused.

“You told me to take her home, sir.”

“I understand that, but taking her home is not the same thing dropping her off. We have an Unsub who’s stalking our unit. He knows all of our personal information, including our addresses. You can’t just leave her there. Get back there now.”

He opened his mouth to argue, but I glared and he silently retreated out of the building. I picked up the nearest phone, which happened to be on Y/N’s desk, and tried calling Elle’s cellphone. When she didn’t pick up, I figured that she must have let it die or left it in her purse when she fell asleep. So I tried calling her house number. Still, nothing. Shit. I kept trying to reach her. I wasn’t about to give up. Soon, she would finally get annoyed by the constant ringing and would get her ass out of bed long enough to pick up the phone and let me know that she was alright. Either that or Anderson would get there on time and he’d call to let me know that she was safe. But until then, I wasn’t going to stop calling.

“Agent Hotchner,” one of the secretaries approached me. I raised a brow at her while still dialing Elle’s number. “The delivery man from the news last night is on his way up. He just turned himself in.”

Shit. I put the phone down. “Thanks for letting me know. Do me a favor, keep calling Agent Greenaway for me until she picks up her phone.”

“Which Greenaway, sir?”

“Elle.”

“Right away.”

We separated in opposite directions. She returned to her desk, while I headed up to Gideon’s office to let him know about the delivery man. Reid was in his office with him, which saved me some time from running around to tell everyone on the team. Gideon was up on his feet the moment I mentioned a delivery man, he didn’t even need to hear the rest because he already knew. That was why he had JJ hold the press conference. It wasn’t to snuff out the Unsub, but our only living witness thus far.

I was the first one into the interrogation room where the witness was waiting. He matched the description that Jessica gave the sketch artist perfectly. As we entered the room, his terror filled eyes looked up at me. People only looked like that when they had something to hide, but I didn’t think that a guy like this could be our Unsub. He was too shaky and shy for that— Not to mention that our Unsub wouldn’t’ve turned himself in when we still had some kind of quest to complete.

I decided to be up front with him. No dancing around it. We needed answers and we needed them fast. “You delivered a packing to my ex-wife’s house yesterday, and it was addressed to my son—”

“Do I need a lawyer?” he questioned.

I continued, trying to move past the idea of calling a lawyer because that would only slow us down. “It was late in the day. You told the woman you gave the folder to that it was imperative that it get to me because a girl’s life depended on it. Ring any bells yet?”

“I— I guess I could check my logs, yeah,” he stuttered.

“No, you already know which one I’m talking about.”

“Listen, all I know is that a guy came up to me, asked me if I could drop off this package a mile down the road, and that a girl’s life depended on it. I was headed that way, anyhow, I figured what could be the harm?”

“And you didn’t find it at all suspicious that this guy mentioned that a girl’s life was at stake?”

The witness shifted in his seat uncomfortably, a telling sign that he was about to lie. “No, I didn’t think anything of it. I heard that a girl was in trouble, so I knew that I just had to help. Does that make me a bad guy?”

I chuckled, “So you’re a humanitarian, then?”

“Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

“How much did he pay you?” Gideon asked.

The witness looked at him and shifted again. “I… I don’t know what you mean…” He looked back at me, but I didn’t budge for him. He swallowed hard. “A thousand dollars in cash. Gave it to me when he gave me the folder.”

“What did he look like?”

“I don’t know. He had a big coat on and a big hat covering his face. All that I could actually see was his neck and his hands, and they were all fucked up. It looked like he had been burned everywhere.”

I looked over at Gideon. That was everything we were going to get out of this guy, and it was really all we needed. We silently left the interrogation room, but we didn’t release the witness yet in case we decided that we would have more questions for him later.

“Burn scars would explain why he seemed uncomfortable in the video,” I told Gideon.

“It’s also how we’ll find him.”

Reid smiled ear to ear after I complimented his good work— rightfully so, too. Together, him and Garcia had cracked a huge problem in the case. While we had earlier hit a wall with the numbers on the letter Jessica gave us, they had figured it all out finally.

Garcia opened her mouth like she was about to say something, likely to apologize again for her mistake. She knew that she had fucked up, and she knew that Gideon was the most upset about all of it. But as she was about to begin, a secretary joined us in the hallway to deliver a message.

“Agent Gideon, there’s a call for you on line 2.”

Garcia closed her mouth and let her shoulders fall as she hugged her files over her chest in order to put her guard up again. What little bravery she had mustered only seconds ago immediately disappeared and she was back to being silent and self-loathing again. Gideon sighed at the interruption, however, and asked who was calling and if it was really all that important. When the secretary responded that it was urgent and that the man calling had named himself “The Fisher King”, we all knew that something was wrong.

We all rushed to the door that led to the BAU wing. Gideon and I were the first to the phone; Reid, Garcia, and the secretary chased after. Gideon unmuted the call, put it on speaker, and introduced himself.

“I didn’t have any other choice,” the Fisher King said. It was the same voice which called me the other night when I was with Y/N. This was our Unsub. “It was distasteful and barbaric. But it had to be done. You forced my hand, Agent Gideon. I told you that there were rules, and you blatantly ignored me. So I had to make sure that you would never break the rules again. Agent Greenaway didn’t have to die like that, Agent Gideon, just remember that. If you would have listened, I wouldn’t have done it. Not like that. Remember the rules or there will be more consequences.” And then the call ended.

I looked up at Jason, my heart racing in my chest. Both Elle and Y/N were out. Anderson had just gone back to Elle’s place, which meant… No. I immediately reached for my phone and took a step away from the group as I began to dial their number. Straight to voicemail. I cursed under my breath as I dialed again.

Behind me, Gideon was instructing Reid to reach out to every nearby hospital in search of a patient with the last name Greenaway. The whole office was set in motion as everyone went to do their assigned jobs for when an agent was to go missing. Garcia hurried to her office to check the computers and Gideon went to grab his things— including his car keys. By the time he returned, I had called Y/N three times, and every time it went directly to their inbox. Either they were being an asshole and not picking up, or something truly did happen to them. I prayed that they were just being an asshole again.

“Hotch!” Reid called from the balcony. I looked over. “It’s Elle! She’s at Sentara Northern Virginia Medical Center!” He retreated back into the boardroom to sort things out while Gideon threw his keys at me as we both turned to the exit.

I immediately turned on the lights and the sirens after we pulled out of Quantico. I was speeding down the roads, trying to avoid all of the cars who weren’t moving to the side for us, while also trying to call Y/N to let them know what had happened. They still weren’t picking up, and I remembered that they told me not to worry, but I didn’t end up worrying about Elle, and look at what happened. So I just kept dialing while Jason watched me out of the corner of his eye.

Please just be an asshole and not dead. That was all I wanted from them. I wanted the excuses, I wanted the fighting back, I wanted the sass and bratiness that all came with dating them. I wanted to know that I would get to see them again, to just hold them in my arms and tell them that I love them again. If I could have, I would have never stopped saying it because I wasn’t about to let them get away like I had with Haley. They weren’t going to win that easily. But they just had to pick up the fucking phone first.

I slammed my hand against the steering wheel. “Fuck,” I cursed under my breath.

“I’m not going to say it…” Gideon said, looking out the window to avoid my glare.

“Good. Then don’t.”

I knew what he was going to say. He didn’t like the idea of me and Y/N dating. He didn’t like the idea of anyone dating on the team because he knew what potential distractions it could create. But I didn’t care what he thought. At least not then when I just needed to focus on literally anything positive. So I tried to focus on how happy it made me to see Y/N with Jack. They were so good with him, and he took to them immediately. I had never seen him connect with anyone like that before. It was such a relief to me that they liked each other.

And then my phone started ringing.

I briskly flipped it open and brought it to my ear.

READER’S POV

I was busy juggling a box of donuts and a cardboard cup holder carrying four coffees when my phone started ringing again. Morgan had called me just before I started ordering inside at Leonard’s to tell me that JJ wanted a cup of cold brew, and that Hotch and Gideon turned down coffee, but Gideon would love a donut. So I ordered a dozen donuts— just to make sure there were plenty extra— and four coffees. Yes, four. I heard Morgan tell me that Hotch didn’t want anything, but I knew him better than that, and I knew that he would want it later, so I got him one anyways. I figured that even if he didn’t end up drinking it, someone else would. Maybe Elle would take it when Anderson would bring her back to the office.

My phone rang again on the way to the car, but I still couldn’t reach it with both of my hands full, so I just tried to hurry up to the car. It rang a third time and I groaned. It was probably just Aaron again, all worried that I wasn’t back yet. It wasn’t my fault that I got caught in the morning traffic outside of Quantico, and I didn’t realize that Leonard’s had some kind of deal on Sunday mornings which always drew in a huge ass crowd. It wasn’t like I made my trips to Leonard’s a common occurrence. I hardly ever went there, so I sure as hell didn’t know about any discount deal that somehow brought in half of Virginia.

The damn phone rang again and I cursed Hotch for making me practically run to the car. He was too worried about me since the other night. Granted, I basically had a breakdown yesterday when I saw my jewelry box, but we had our rules for a reason. I just needed him to calm down and wait until I could call him back. He had already called me three times while I was ordering, which I couldn’t answer any of those calls since I was already busy. Now he had called me at least four times on the way to the car, which meant that he wasn’t even waiting for it to go to voicemail every time.

I put the cupholder on the roof of the car so that I could have a free hand to open the car door. I reached into the car and set the box of donuts on the passenger’s seat, then went back to grab the coffees. They wobbled in my hands as one of the cups managed to slide out of the grip a little too far. I managed to catch it on time, thankfully, before it could spill all over me, and let out a sigh of relief before making sure the cup was put back all the way.

I slid into the car, closed the door, and put the coffees next to the donuts on the seat. When that was settled and I was fairly sure that nothing was going to fall over or spill everywhere, I reached for my phone to see what the hell was going on. Aaron had called me seven times. Seven. Either he was dying or they caught the guy and I could go home. Either way, I was going to kill him.

I dialed his number and called him back. It rang twice before he picked up. “I’m on my way, Hotch. Did you guys find something?”

“Why the fuck weren’t you answering your phone?”

“My hands were full. I couldn’t reach my phone. What’s going on?”

“The Unsub shot Elle.”

I stopped worrying about turning the car on and getting out of the parking lot in a rush but also satefly as he said it. I froze for a moment, just staring at the building in front of me. I tried to wrap my brain around what he said, and almost went to deny it, but I knew that he wouldn’t lie to me like that. So why had he said it? Maybe this was Gideon’s next ploy to try to weed out the Unsub, but they had to make it real, so they had to make me believe it. That had to be it. Elle was fine.

“Y/N?”

“Hmm?” I hummed into the phone.

“She’s alive,” he clarified. My gaze fell from the building and to the car’s emblem in the middle of the steering wheel. I was slowly starting to come back to reality. “She’s at Sentara North. Gideon and I are headed there now. I can have Reid pick you up.”

“No,” I insisted, my eyes falling shut. “I’ll… I’ll meet you there.”

“Y/N—”

“I’ll be fine.”

I hung up before he could say anything. He didn’t want me driving. I understood. But what else were we going to do? I put the car in reverse and started backing out of the parking spot I was in. I was just trying to come to terms with how the hell this could have happened. Aaron sent Elle home with Anderson. She should have just been resting in her bed while he kept watch. So how the fuck did the Unsub manage to break into my sister’s home and shoot her? Where was Anderson?

I thought about how Hotch wanted me to go home, even if it was with Elle or Morgan. He just wanted me to get some rest since I hadn’t slept in nearly forty hours. But I turned him down selfishly because I wanted to focus on the case. I knew that there was an Unsub out there who had it out for my sister, and I chose to stay at the office with Hotch. If I would’ve just listened, I could have been with Elle, and maybe I could have stopped the Unsub. Maybe she wouldn’t be in the hospital at all.

Sentara Northern Virginia Medical Center was only a twelve minute drive from Leonard’s, I made it in nine. One of the Bureau’s vehicles was parked directly out front, and I knew that it had to be Hotch and Gideon, so I parked Hotch’s car next to it and hurried out the second I turned the ignition off. I left my purse, the donuts, and the coffees all in the car as I just hauled ass inside and ran up to the front desk.

The nurse at the front desk was taken aback by my panic and the way I was flashing my badge in her face, demanding for the floor number that Elle was on. After likely having just dealt with Hotch and Gideon perhaps a few minutes prior, the nurse already knew the floor to give me, and I was running again to the elevators where I kept pressing the up button like it would somehow make it arrive faster.

My foot tapped against the bottom of the elevator anxiously as I counted the floors I passed and the seconds it was taking to get there. For all I knew, Elle could have already been dead. Every second spent trapped in that elevator was one less second that I would get to be by my sister’s side when she needed me most. And I absolutely hated it. I hated not being able to make the elevator go faster. I hated that I didn’t pick up Hotch’s calls sooner. I hated that I didn’t just go home with Elle, instead I chose to get coffee and donuts like an idiot. Gosh, I was so fucking stupid.

The elevator dinged before the doors began to slowly slide open. The second the gap was wide enough, I squeezed past and ran into the bright white hallway. Ahead of me was a glass wall that divided the waiting room from the hallway I was standing in. Behind the glass, I could see Hotch sitting across from Gideon, who was working on a crossword puzzle in today’s newspaper. Hotch looked up from his hands like he could sense that I had just arrived. When our eyes met, he pushed himself to his feet and hurried to meet me halfway. I ran up to him and jumped into his open arms. My arms wrapped themselves around his neck and I cried in his shoulder. He tried to soothe me by rubbing small circles on my back with one hand, and whispering that it would be okay in my ear.

“She’s alright,” he told me. “She’s in surgery still, but she’s going to be alright.”

“I should’ve gone with her.”

“You didn’t know.”

“I should’ve been there. It should’ve been me.”

“No,” he shook his head. “No.”

“How did this happen, Aaron?”

I felt like I was going to be sick again. The whole car ride over, I was convinced that it was some kind of sick joke. I didn’t want it to be real, so I tried to pretend that it wasn’t. But standing in that hallway, wrapped in Hotch’s arms as I sobbed and he tried to calm me down, I knew that it was real. I could feel it. My sister had been shot. The Unsub promised that the other one was being taken care of, and we thought that it was over when we got Elle out of jail in Jamaica. But the Unsub was only just getting started. He saved his big moment for when we least expected it. When we were all exhausted, hungry, separated, and our anxieties had actually calmed down. It was the calm before the storm, and none of us saw it coming.

Hotch was trying to find the best way to explain without hurting me. He was treating me like a victim of a case rather than his partner, because that was all he knew how to do. With Haley, he thought that he knew what he was doing, but she shattered his idea of love, comfort, and romance when she left him suddenly. Now, he didn’t know anything about how to comfort me in the way I needed most. And it made me sad. I was trying so hard to help him. We had gotten so far together since he first asked me out, but this was the one thing that we hadn’t prepared for. This was the one thing we never wanted to be ready for because we didn’t want to imagine that it could happen. So now he wasn’t prepared and it broke my heart.

He did what he understood, though, and that was explaining it to me like a stranger in a case who just lost a loved one. “He went in through the back door, caught her by surprise, and shot her.”

“Where?” I begged him for more details. As both an agent and her sister, I needed to know more than just that.

“The living room. He went through the kitchen and into the living room, and shot her point blank in the shoulder.”

I squeezed his neck tighter and he pulled me closer. “Why didn’t we know sooner?”

“The Unsub took her badge and gun.”

I pulled from Hotch and he let me, but his touch didn’t leave me. His left hand trailed up my side and up my neck before he cupped my cheek. He wiped away one of my tears with his thumb.

“The crime scene— I’ve got to go look at it,” I said desperately, trying to make a move for the elevator.

Hotch made sure to hold me still as gently but as assertive as he could. “No,” he insisted. “You don’t need to see it. Trust me. Anderson’s there and he’s sending me photos. You don’t want to know, Y/N.”

“I can find this asshole. I can do it if you just let me.”

“You need to be here for when Elle gets out of surgery and wakes up. She’s going to need you.”

I wiped another tear that was falling down my cheek. “That’ll be hours from now. I have to go—”

“I’m not letting you go anywhere,” he whispered with more harshness to his tone. “He called us after he did it…” Hotch pressed his forehead to mine. “He said that ‘Agent Greenaway didn’t have to die like that’ and I thought that he meant you.” His eyes fell shut as he tried to stop himself from crying. “I thought it was you and I nearly died.” He kissed me tenderly yet eagerly, just wanting to know that I was still there with him and that he could still kiss me. He didn’t want to think about losing me and the opportunity to love me. “So you’re not going anywhere until we find this guy.”

My fingers found the back of his neck and slid under the ends of his short hair. I grabbed slightly, not enough to hurt, but just to be affectionate. “Okay,” I gave in. He didn’t want me to leave, and I wasn’t going to fight him on this one thing. It made sense and I didn’t need to get under his skin when there was already so much happening. “I’ll stay.”

He let out a sigh of relief, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

It felt good to say it again to his face. It was the first time since the other night at his house. Just the difference between saying it against his lips compared to saying it into a phone made my heart flutter in my chest. Every time he said it, every time his face was so close to mine that I could feel his breath, and every time he looked at me like he loved me more than anything in the world, my day brightened just a little more.

Hotch escorted me to the waiting room where Gideon was pretending to still be focused on his newspaper, when, in reality, he had likely been watching Hotch and I in the hallway to get a feel for how serious our relationship was. I wondered what he thought about us. Gideon was always a softie deep down, and he was just another hopeless romantic like the rest of us; but he also held his own bias against coworkers dating, which made him view us differently. But I wondered that if after seeing us in the hallway and how we needed each other, he decided that maybe it was alright after all. Maybe he wouldn’t try to convince Hotch that it was a bad idea.

I sat down in one of the seats across from Gideon and Hotch let go of my hand. He wiped his face with both of his palms as he tried to recollect himself before turning back to Gideon. “Any luck reaching Morgan and JJ?”

Gideon shook his head, writing in another word on the crossword table. “They’re still out of cell range.”

“Keep trying.” He turned back to me, “Did you leave the drinks and food in the car?” I nodded. “Okay, I’ll go get them. You need something to eat.”

I whispered a thank you and slumped against the seat I was in. I watched him leave and step into the elevator. As the elevator doors began to close, he sent me a short, small smile. My head fell back gently against the back support of the seat I was in and I let out a heavy sigh. All I wanted was to be with Elle at her house, her asleep with me watching over her to make sure that she was alright. Maybe I just needed food and sleep like Aaron kept telling me. This whole time, while I had been fighting against him to make sure that I was constantly keeping up to date with the case, I had forgotten that I needed to take care of my body in order to keep pushing. And without having eaten anything in hours and I hadn’t slept in almost forty hours, I felt so weak. Even if Elle woke up or they found the Unsub, I felt like I would be of no use in the state I was in. It made me feel utterly powerless.

Gideon was still paying no attention to me— or at least pretending as such. He was purposefully doing it. No one could actually focus on a crossword puzzle like he was when one of the teammates was up in surgery and it was his fault. Yeah, I said it. This was all his fault. The Unsub gave specific instructions that we weren’t allowed to go to the media or any outside resources. He knew that there were rules, and he broke them, and I was sure that it had to do with Elle getting shot. Not only did the Unsub want Elle out of the way for some fucked up reason, but he wanted to make sure that we understood that there were consequences to breaking his rules. So he won by getting rid of Elle and proving a point to us. Two birds, one stone.

Gideon should have been more careful. He should have listened to Hotch about not holding the press conference. And that was likely why he wasn’t looking at me. He knew that I would be upset with him for letting this happen to my sister. He also knew that I wasn’t going to blame Hotch, even though he was the one who sent Elle home. He knew that I couldn’t do that, but I’d be looking to point fingers, and it all pointed to him. He was ashamed, and as much as I hated to think it, I was glad that he felt that way. I wanted him to regret his decisions. Because if he had just stopped to consider instead of going on a personal witch hunt, then Elle wouldn’t have been lying on a surgical table with doctors trying to pull a bullet out of her chest.

When Hotch came back with the donuts and coffee, I pushed myself to sit back up again. He took the seat next to me and handed me one of the coffees, another to Gideon, and one for himself. I knew that he would want it. I tried not to smile behind my cup. It didn’t feel like the time to smile about such a silly thing, but I couldn’t believe that I had him pegged like that. It felt good knowing him that well.

“I called JJ and Morgan, told them about Elle, but they're still heading out there,” Hotch explained to Gideon as he handed him a donut.

I raised a brow after accepting my own donut from Hotch. “Where are they?”

“They’re checking up on a lead about the victim and her family. They’re going North to talk to her family.” He relaxed in his seat beside me, “Anderson called as I was about to get in the elevator. He told me that they found a partial print at the crime scene.”

That was the best news we had all day. While we had been falling short of any real leads since finding the jewelry box yesterday, the Unsub leaving a partial print in Elle’s house meant that we were one step closer to catching him. One step closer to me looking at my sister’s attacker in the eyes as I got to read him his Miranda Rights and put him away for a very long time. That was a reason to smile.

“How did they get the partial?” I asked.

Hotch looked at me with soft eyes that spoke volumes. I didn’t want to know, according to him. But him not telling me only confirmed any suspicions I might have had about the crime scene. I saw what happened in Jamaica, I saw what happened with Frank Giles. Our Unsub liked to write messages in blood. “SAVE HER”, “IT’S BEEN HANDLED”, and “HERE THY QUEST DOTH TRULY BEGIN” were all apart of his M.O. He wouldn't have left Elle without completing his ritual.

So I wanted to know the truth. “What did it say?”

Hotch scratched his stubble and shifted in his seat uncomfortably. He knew that I wouldn’t stop pressing for answers, especially when it came to Elle. His choices were to either tell me or find a way to travel back in time and stop himself from ever saying anything else about the crime seeing. Seeing as the second option was neither logical nor possible, he had to give me something. He knew that I had seen all of the other crime scenes first hand, and if he reused to tell me, I would just walk right out of the hospital and drive over there to see it for myself. It didn’t matter what promises I made to him. If I didn’t get answers, I wasn’t going to stick around long enough for him to start an argument about it.

“It said ‘RULES’... In Elle’s blood.”

“I’m going to kill him, Hotch. I swear, I’m going to kill him, even if it kills me.”

I was right about the Unsub and his reason for attacking Elle. Gideon broke the rules and the team had to pay.

“We still don’t have enough for a profile yet, though,” Gideon said quietly. “At least not a good one.”

Hotch picked up my free hand with his and held it tight. Even with Gideon in the room, Hotch was going out of his way to make sure that he was with me, that I understood that he wasn’t going anywhere. We had our rules. We knew that we weren’t supposed to touch at work— especially not like this. But something had happened to Hotch while I was at Leonard’s. He said that the Unsub called them to tell them that he had killed Elle, but he used our last name, and Hotch’s first worry was me. The fact that he called me on my way out of the parking lot to give me crap about leaving on my own, then all of the calls at Leonard’s, and his persistent need for touch all told me that the Unsub had really gotten under his skin by using me. The call when we were together the other night was the first step, and it kept escalating from there. The Unsub wanted us to be together at all times, for some reason, and he found a way to ensure that it would happen. All it took was stalking us, sending something to Jack, and scaring the crap out of Hotch about losing me on a thousand separate occasions.

Hotch’s hand squeezed mine. “Once JJ and Morgan finish up with Rebecca’s family, we’ll hopefully have another lead. Until then, there’s not much we can do. I think we should all get some rest.”

Gideon shook his head and flipped the newspaper pages to a sudoku puzzle now. He was really trying not to face me, and I didn’t blame him. I was sending him the worst death glare I could throw at him for what he did. But Hotch was at least right about the sleep idea. I was done with my donut, and the warm coffee was starting to lull me to sleep, even though the caffeine should have knocked me back on my feet. I guessed that I just was so tired that even caffeine couldn’t save me. And there wasn’t anything to do with the case or about Elle in surgery. Hotch had the right idea, and sleep was the one thing I couldn’t argue with at that point.

I peeled my hand from Hotch’s so that I could push myself to lean forward and put the cup of coffee on the table in front of us.  When I reclined back in my seat, I shifted to the side so that I could rest my head against his shoulder. My eyelids were already heavy to the point that they fell shut without any effort. Sleep felt so natural, I didn’t have to fight to keep my eyes shut or quiet my thoughts.

Everything was oddly peaceful in that hospital waiting room. The lights were gold and dim in order to comfort those who would be waiting around, just like we were. All of the newspapers and magazines that Gideon had collected in front of him just reminded me home and how my dad would lay them out the same way. The air conditioning was right above my head, blowing cool air that helped my heart rate slow down and find peace. It was just so quiet as though the room itself were inviting me to sleep for once. I didn’t mind the feeling at all.

“The press conference was the right thing to do,” Gideon said quietly, assuming that I was already asleep and didn’t want to wake me up. Hotch’s hand fell to my knee and his thumb started to draw slow circles over the fabric of my pants. “I mean, it forced the Unsub to come out, forced him to make a mistake like leaving a partial print. If I hadn’t done what I did, who knows if we would have that information. I did the right thing. I know I did. I was just doing my job. Elle will understand that and Y/N will forgive me.”

“Jason…” Hotch whispered, trying not to move the shoulder I was resting on. “It’s no one’s fault but the Unsub.”

“I know.” He sounded so unsure about himself as he stood to leave. “I know.” He carefully put the newspaper back down on the table. “Let them sleep. I’ll be outside if you find anything out from Morgan or JJ.” He patted Hotch’s other shoulder gently on his way out.

When Gideon was gone, Hotch kissed the top of my head clemently, “I love you.”

I nuzzled against his shoulder and picked his hand up to intertwine our fingers again. “I love you, too,” I whispered. He kissed my head again and I let out one last breath of relief and tranquility before I managed to fall asleep.

Hotch gently shook me awake about an hour later. I woke up carefully, rubbing the side of my neck where it was sore from being crooked against his shoulder for so long. He massaged my shoulder in an attempt to help with my tight muscles, but also to help me wake up from my nap. I didn’t think that I would be out of it for so long, but if I were just being woken up by Hotch, it meant that something had only just happened. Whether it was about the case or Elle, I didn’t know until Hotch was sure that I was entirely awake again.

I reached out for my coffee on the table, which was now cold, but it was better than nothing. I chugged the rest of it before setting it back down. Hotch threw his arm over my shoulders as I leaned back.

“The team identified the Unsub,” he finally said.

“How?”

“I don’t know. Gideon’s sending me to oversee the arrest.”

I jumped out of my seat. “I’ll go with you.” I was already fixing my hair back out of my face and making sure that my gun was prepped in its holster on my hip. I knew what Hotch was going to say before he even said it, and I already knew what my response was going to be.

“No. Stay here and wait for Elle.” Like I said, he was being predictable.

With my response already prepared, I grabbed my purse from the floor. “I’m coming with you, Hotch. I want to be there when we get this guy. I want to see his face when he realizes that he lost.”

Hotch stared at me for a moment before nodding, “Okay.”

He wasn’t going to win this one. I had gotten some food, coffee, and sleep. I was now at the top of my game, perfect for arguing with him. And while he usually enjoyed playing along, we were on a time crunch. So he gave in and we headed for the elevator. As we waited, I asked what we knew since I fell asleep.

Hotch told me everything the team had told him. Our Unsub’s name was Randall Garner. We stepped into the elevator. He was Rebecca Bryant’s biological father who had been severely burned in the fire that burned their family home down and killed everyone but Rebecca and Randall. When she was sixteen, Rebecca had been kidnapped by her father after he was released from a mental institution. He had been keeping her for two years before finally contacting us. Hotch wasn’t sure why yet, but he was sure that Spencer would have answers for when we would get to the office.

And answers he did have. From the moment we stepped into the office, everyone started bombarding me with questions about Elle, while Reid was trying to catch Hotch up with everything he had learned about the Unsub and the profile he had created single handedly while everyone was gone. Morgan and JJ were following me around with endless questions, even though I really didn’t know much more than them about Elle’s condition or the crime scene since Hotch refused to take me or tell me much of anything about it. I apologized for not having answers, and they seemed upset that they were just as helpless as I was. 

“He thinks that we’re modern-day Knights of the Round Table,” Reid explained to us as the group of us walked into the boardroom. There was a woman sitting in the corner, biting her nails, but I was the only one who seemed to take notice. “He thinks that he’s in a fantasy world where Rebecca is a grail that we need to rescue in order to save the day.”

“Do we know where he is?” Hotch asked, refusing to take a seat at the table.

Reid, Morgan, and JJ all looked through the files they had pulled and the notes they had taken, but there was nothing. His last known address was his home before it burned down in the fire— then, technically, the mental hospital. That was it, though. When he was released, he went off the grid. No one had any clue as to where he was.

“I have something,” the woman in the corner spoke up.

Reid leapt from his chair and hurried over to her, “No, mom, it’s okay—”

He came to a sudden halt when his mom pulled a photo from her purse and handed it to him. Spencer examined both sides before turning to all of us with wide eyes that told us that he suddenly understood so clearly. He handed it off to me and I took a look at it myself. One side was an address and the other was a picture of a large house in the middle of the woods.

Reid’s mom had this the entire time and she never said anything. The Unsub gave her another clue— the last clue— because he knew that Reid would send for her. To make sure that she was safe. He knew Spencer and the rest of us like he was us and could guess what we would do before we could even think of it for ourselves. He was ten steps ahead of at all times when he never should have even been a single step ahead of us in the first place.

I handed the photo over to Morgan. “Shiloh, Virginia?” he read the address. “That’s only ten miles from here.”

“Gear up quickly,” Hotch ordered, already heading for his office.

We all jumped to our feet and headed for our desks. Hotch was up in his office, calling the SWAT team for back up and giving them the address of where to meet us. Morgan tossed me another flashlight after I tested mine to find that it had died after Reid used it yesterday to find the jewelry box clue.

The five of us— me, Hotch. Morgan, JJ, Reid— all hurried to one of the FBI company black SUV vehicles and stuffed ourselves inside. Hotch turned on the lights and sirens before we even made it out of the parking lot and started hauling ass down the streets towards Shiloh. None of us said anything. We were all just focused on getting there and finally taking this guy down. We wanted answers and we wanted him to pay for all of the suffering he caused. It was high time he met his modern-day Knights of the Round table, just like he wanted.

The SWAT team Hotch had called in was already parked in front of the house when we arrived. They were all huddled around the trunks of their cars as they put on their gear and loaded their weapons. While we drove up the path with all of the lights off, they looked over to make sure that we were a friendly vehicle and not the suspect or otherwise.

Gravel crunched under my shoes as I jumped out of the car and walked around to the back where Hotch had popped the trunk for us to grab our bullet proof vests. I threw mine over my head and worked in silence as I connected all of the straps. Everyone was silent. The only sounds that echoed were from everyone’s boots compressing the gravel under us. If the Unsub were near a window or door, he likely would have heard us, even though we were all trying to be quiet.

When everyone was ready, Hotch traveled to the front of the group to lead us in. He gave a silent signal, and the SWAT team split into three small groups. One headed to the left, another to the right, and the one Hotch and I went with went straight for the front door. Our team split up, too. JJ and Morgan went to the left, Hotch and I down the middle, and Reid to the right.

We were still quiet as we ran up to the door and Hotch messed with the doorknob to see if it was unlocked. When the door opened easily, he gave us a silent signal to be careful because the Unsub was likely expecting us. This was his game, afterall. He had to know where the players were at all times.

Hotch and I went together towards the dining room while the SWAT members of our group branched off to check the kitchen. With our guns raised, Hotch and I ran into the room. We checked every corner, hiding spaces behind doors, cabinets, etc. but there was nothing. Rebecca had to be somewhere in the house, we were sure of that much, the only question was where?

I dragged a finger over the dining room table before bringing it up to my eyes. The table was caked in dust, just like everything else in the dining room. Around the table were six chairs, each covered by white sheets. From the other end of the table, Hotch whistled quietly to catch my attention. He was holding Elle’s badge and gun. So we did have the right guy’s house. That was some consolation.

“It’s Morgan. We’re clear on this side,” he said over the comms.

“Kitchen’s clear.”

“Living room clear.”

“Nothing in the parlor.”

“Dining room’s empty,” I said.

“I’ve got movement upstairs,” Reid said.

Hotch and I gave each other a nod before traveling together towards the staircase. Reid was halfway up, his gun and flashlight pointing at the hallway that diverted to the right of the stairs. He gestured with his flashlight that he saw someone heading that direction, and we followed him up.

The SWAT team ran past us, taking the lead in order to clear the upstairs rooms while we followed Spencer’s hunch. Reid, Morgan, and Hotch were in front of me, JJ behind me. She tapped my shoulder when we reached the top floor and she pointed towards the left, letting me know that she was going to look for Rebecca on the left side of the house with the SWAT team. I nodded an acknowledgement and continued to the right.

Reid jumped across the entrance to another hallway that turned to the left. He hid on the wall opposite Morgan, Hotch, and I. Morgan took point on that wall closest to the new hallway, meanwhile Hotch and I backed up for support. Down the new hallway that we had discovered, there was a room all the way at the end. The door was half open, and I saw a man pass by it. My blood ran cold as I gestured to Hotch that I saw Randall Garner.

“Cover me,” Morgan whispered to us.

“No, no, no,” Spencer insisted. Morgan stepped back from the corner. “Give me a second.” He raised his voice, “Mr. Garner? My name is Dr. Spencer Reid. I’m with the FBI. You were in the hospital with my mother. I think she may have confused you about who we are and what we do. All we want to do is help Rebecca— which is what you want to do, too, right? That’s why you sent us the puzzles and the clues. That’s why you wanted to see us.”

“Did you bring her?” Garner asked from his room down the hall. The sound of leather creaking echoed in the hallway just after I saw him taking a seat at a desk inside.

“Bring who? Rebecca? We don’t have her. You do.”

“No. No. The one Arthur loves. Guinevere.”

Hotch, Morgan, and I all exchanged confused glances. Arthur and Guinevere? We knew that he saw us as the Knights of the Round Table, but we didn’t know that he had assigned us to the specific character.

“We didn’t bring any Guinevere,” Reid played along.

Randall Garner huffed angrily from his office. “I was very specific that Agent Hotchner and Agent Greenaway were to be together the entire time. Did you not learn your lesson about obeying the rules?”

I suddenly realized that Aaron was Arthur and I was Guinevere. That was why he wanted us together. He saw our relationship and wanted us to recreate how he imagined the characters behaving in his delusion. We were only confused at first because he said “she” and that wasn’t what any of us were used to. The only “she” we brought with us was JJ, and she was off searching the other side of the house. 

“We brought Agent Hotchner and Agent Greenaway, yes.”

“Ask the question, dear Guinevere.”

I looked across to Reid for an answer because I didn’t know of any question. Was it in one of the clues that Spencer solved? It had to be. “He believes that if you ask the right question, then it will magically heal his wounds. That’s why he wanted us. He thinks that we have magic.”

“Do you know the question?” Hotch whispered.

Reid shook his head, “But I know what he wants. Fall back.” He held his gun out to me, which I reluctantly took. “It’ll be fine…” he told us before walking into the hallway with his hands raised. “Stay calm, Mr. Garner.”

“Ask the question, Ser Percival, if Guinevere is incapacitated.”

“I told you, I’m not Percival and Y/N isn’t Guinevere. My name’s Spencer and we work for the FBI. You know my mother, Diana, from the hospital. Do you remember?” He kept walking down the hallway, closer and closer to the room Randall was in. “I think she might have made you think that your daughter is a grail and that we’re knights sent to rescue her.”

“No. Your mother was very specific—”

“My mother is a paranoid schizophrenic who would forget to eat if she wasn’t reminded. She doesn’t know real from fiction, just like you, Mr. Garner. We’re not characters in a story. We’re real people who have come to help you and your daughter.” Reid finally reached the door and carefully pushed it open. I tried to crouch down low to get an angle on Garner, but Reid was entirely in the way. I couldn’t see anything. “Don’t you want to help your daughter?”

“My daughter doesn’t really exist. She never did.” Leather creaked again and I could tell that Randall had spun around in his chair, but I still couldn’t see him. “Ask the question!” he demanded with more force.

“Hey, guys…” Spencer called back to us calmly. “Maybe you guys should go wait downstairs.”

“What?” I hissed.

“We’re not going anywhere,” Morgan responded to Spencer.

“Ask the question! Heal me!” Mr. Garner shouted.

I couldn’t hear anything else that was being said. They were too far into the room and their voices had lowered so that their conversation was just theirs. I didn’t know if Reid was getting anywhere with Randall, and I didn’t know if we were going to get the location of Rebecca. Now that we had the bastard, all we needed now was to find his daughter.

Reid started running back down the hall, headed straight for us, yelling, “Run!”

Next thing we knew, the office Mr. Garner was in exploded, shaking the entire house. Reid dove to get further from the blast, and Hotch turned and covered my head with his arm. After the explosion, Hotch and I stood up straight again and made sure that the other was alright before looking over to Morgan and Reid. Morgan was putting out a fire that caught on Spencer’s legs while also helping him up to his feet.

The fire from the explosion started to spread along the hallway, making its way straight for us. We didn’t have much time before the whole house would burn down. I made a dash for the side of the house, calling for the SWAT team and JJ to hurry back downstairs, warning them of the fire that was spreading. Hotch and Morgan were pulling Reid along with them towards the stairs.

“What the hell was that?” Hotch asked.

“He had a bomb,” Reid responded, coughing the smoke out of his lungs. I went in front of them and started racing down the steps. “Wait— Stop, stop, stop, stop… Rebecca—”

“Reid, there’s no time for a search.”

Spencer shushed Hotch and pushed his hair out of his face so that he could think more clearly. “Randall was the fisher king, and this is his castle… Rebecca has to be here…” He snapped his fingers when a lightbulb went off in his mind. “The basement! She’s in the basement!”

Everyone started running downstairs, chasing after Spencer who decided to take the lead again. The boys ran into the basement while JJ and I made sure all of the SWAT team got out safely. We weren’t about to leave a man behind after all of this. Once they were all out, JJ and I stood on the grass in front of the house to watch as it burned. I was staring at the front door intently, praying that they would het Rebecca and come out soon, because if they were going to waste another minute inside, I was going to go back in to find them.

Just as I thought it, though, Reid and Morgan came stumbling out, but not Hotch. I ran back up to the front of the house and caught Morgan. “Where’s Hotch?” I questioned. He was coughing too hard to answer. All he could do was point into the house. “Hotch!” I called, continuing up to the door. “Hotch!”

When I was about to take a brave step into the house, Hotch came stumbling out with Rebecca in his arms. I moved out of the way and followed him back into the grass where he gently put her down. I grabbed his shoulders and turned him to face me.

“You okay?” I asked worriedly.

He nodded. “You?”

I nodded with a sigh of relief.

“Hey, lovebirds!” Morgan called. “Fire department's on their way! We should get Rebecca to the hospital!”

He was right. Randall was gone and Rebecca needed to get treatment. She had been trapped in that basement for two years— who knew what he did to her, even if she was just his daughter. The fact that his delusion was so strong that he couldn’t even recognize that they were family meant that he could have done horrible things to her. Things that I didn’t want to consider. So the best thing to do was make sure that some doctors could check on her.

JJ, Morgan, and Reid took Rebecca in the car we arrived in. Hotch decided that he was going to stay to make sure the fire would be contained and that the SWAT team would clear the area safely. In the car, however, there was no room for me when they had laid Rebecca down next to JJ in the backseat to make sure that she was comfortable. My only option was to stay with Hotch and wait to get a ride back into town.

When the fire department showed up, they drove onto the grass and tried to maintain the fire spread, attempting to keep it away from the woods surrounding us. As Hotch and I watched, my phone started ringing. I turned around, took a few steps out of the way, and answered the call.

“Y/N?” It was Gideon’s number, but it was Elle’s voice. She had woken up after surgery. She was okay. “Are you there?”

I didn’t realize how silent I had been while just thinking about the weight that lifted off of my chest when I finally got to hear her voice again. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m here, Elle.”

“Did you catch the son of a bitch who did this to me?”

I glanced over my shoulder to look at the burning house. “He’s gone.” I bit at my nails and kicked the gravel under my feet nervously. “Are you okay?”

“Never felt better,” she laughed shortly before wincing in pain. “When can you come visit me?”

“I’m on my way right now. I promise.” I snapped in Hotch’s direction to catch his attention before pointing to my phone and mouthing Elle’s name to him. He nodded, said goodbye to the chief of the fire department, and came over to me. “Hotch and I will be there in a few minutes, okay?” Elle hummed an agreement on the other end. “I love you, Elle.”

“Whatever you say, loser. Just get here as soon as you can,” and she hung up.

I rolled my eyes and bit back a smile. The SWAT team had room for us in one of their trucks and offered to drop us off at the hospital. It was a kind gesture, one they really didn’t have to give us, but they said that they didn’t mind since it was on the way back to their office. In the truck, everyone was just as silent as when we first arrived at the house. Even when they dropped us off at the hospital, they only wished us goodnight in quiet murmurs before we closed the back of the vehicle and they were off again. Hotch and I didn’t watch them drive off. We immediately hurried into the hospital and headed for the room that Elle had been assigned to.

When we got to Elle’s room, I saw Gideon sitting beside her, reading something about the case, and she was staring at the ceiling, lost in thought. As Hotch and I entered, however, Gideon stopped reading and Elle broke her trance to look over at us standing in the doorway. She smiled at me as best she could considering the facts. She had only just gotten out of surgery and she was in a lot of pain, and she would be for a long time. The physical and mental wounds of being shot at point blank range wasn’t anything that usually disappeared overnight, no matter how hard Elle would try to convince herself and us otherwise.

Gideon squeezed Elle’s hand gently before standing from his seat and taking his leave from the room, still refusing to look up at me. Once he was gone, I stepped further into the room and took a seat next to Elle’s hospital bed.

“He’s dead,” I told her. My vest was still on and my hair was still pulled back out of my face, which was a tell tale sign that we had just gotten back from a scene, but the fact that Hotch was covered in soot was another sign that something had happened. “We found the girl. She’s going to be okay.”

“That’s good,” Elle smiled.

Hotch was still standing in the doorway, watching Elle from a distance as she slightly struggled to breathe with the oxygen they were pumping into her nose. He gulped and looked at the floor. “I’m going to head out and make sure that the rest of the team is alright.” He glanced at Elle shortly, like he had only mustered enough courage to do so for a few seconds, “I’m glad that you’re here. I’m sorry for sending you home like that.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Hotch,” she insisted, shaking her head to encourage her point. 

Hotch nodded like he was trying to convince himself that she was telling the truth, but it wasn’t quite sticking with him yet. He switched his glance to me, “Are you going to stay here tonight?” I nodded. “Do you want me to bring you a change of clothes?”

“If you don’t mind.”

The left side of his mouth curled into a small, shy smile. “I’ll be back in a few hours.” He waited for Elle to look away for a brief moment so that he could steal a second to whisper that he loves me. I whispered it back to him and his smile brightened before he left.

Elle looked at me with a grin, “So… Hotch, huh?” I glared playfully at her, daring her to be careful. “I can’t believe I owe Morgan $20. Is it too late to break up with him?”

I smiled but scrunched my brows in curiosity. “$20?”

“I thought that you would end up going out with him. He didn’t think it was possible. Maybe he knew about you and Hotch this whole time and just wanted my $20.” I hit her good arm gently. “Ow!” she laughed.

“It’s a good thing we’re in a hospital, otherwise I would have killed you.” The joke didn’t quite land the way I thought it would. “Sorry,” I doublebacked.

Elle squeezed my hand. “I’m just glad that you’re here and that you’re happy. That’s all a sister could ask for.”

“I love you.”

She smiled behind the oxygen and the pain coursing through her veins. “I love you, too.”

[jbbarnesnnoble]

Hello lovely humans!

I’ve recently hit the 500 follower milestone and want to celebrate with another challenge! This time, dark fics are welcome! 

I have a lot of prompts here and what doesn’t get used will probably be put aside for a future challenge. I like to make sure there is a wide array of prompts to be chosen from and tend to go overboard. Whoops. 

The Rules: 

1. Use the hashtag #JBBNN500 

2. Dark fics are welcome - Just be sure to utilize trigger warnings and indicate that it is a dark fic. 

3. Even if you aren’t writing a dark fic, use trigger warnings if the content warrants it. If you write something that has heavier themes, like those that delve into mental health topics, be sure to label it appropriately. 

4. Selecting Prompts: Just let me know which one you want to do! 2 people per prompt! Tell me which subheading and the number of the prompt so I can mark it down! If it’s a lyric prompt, please give me the song and the number! 

5. You don’t have to be following to participate! 

6. Deadline: January 11, 2021

Yes, I’m giving about 3 months for this. January 11 also happens to be my birthday, so I figured that would be a good date to choose. 

The subheadings are: dialogue prompts, sentence prompts, quotes from popular media, and song lyrics!

Find the prompts under the cut! 

Dialogue Prompts

“Life is made up of maybes and regrets. I don’t want this to be one of them.”

“You can’t do this. It’s my choice to make, and mine alone. If you don’t agree with it, the door is there. Feel free to use it.”

“I used to be afraid of the dark, you know. Until I learned that the real monsters thrive in the light.” 

“So, what you’re saying is if I gave you a nickel, you’d do it.”

“No, I don’t know how the cheese got there, and honestly, I don’t think I want to know.” 

“You’re sounding more like a cult leader every time you open your mouth. Don’t think I’ll be accepting any Flavor Aid from you anytime soon.” 

“How did you...you know what, I’m going to forget I saw a thing, and go read a book. Or bathe in Holy Water. Or both. Both is good.” 

“If you say one more word I swear--” “One more word” “I hate you” 

“You can’t come in here singing my favorite song and expect forgiveness, that’s not how this works!”

“No. You mean nothing to me. You never did. You never will.” 

“But if it did, it would work and you can’t convince me otherwise.” 

“You are simultaneously the smartest and least intelligent person I have ever meant. Truly, an amazing accomplishment.” @bonkywobble​

“Next thing you’re going to say is that ghosts are real...please tell me that’s a joke” 

“All I’m saying is, I could do that blindfolded.” 

“But why was there pizza on the ceiling?” 

“If you write me a four thousand word essay on why you think that’s a good idea, then sure.” 

“I didn’t think you were serious. Do you know how illegal this is?!” 

Sentence Prompts

Feel free to change the pronouns used to suit your needs, even if they aren’t bracketed! You can also change the tense if you need to! 

The January rain fell, feeling like razors against [your/her/their] skin as [you/she/they] stared out over the horizon.

This was it, the moment where life as [you/she/they] knew it ended.

 [His/her/their] gaze fell on [her/you], like a lion circling its prey. 

You never thought that it would come to this, come to being the one to end it all. 

You took a moment to calculate [his/her/their] next move, figuring out the perfect counter. 

Hanging by your ankles from a tree was most definitely not how you planned on spending your Saturday. 

Glancing around the room at the decor, one thing was obvious: it was [his/her/their] doing. 

Hurt was the only thing you felt, the only thing you could cling to in this abyss.

Lies, it had all been lies and they were crumbling around you. 

The screech of tires on the pavement sent a shiver down your spine.

He/She used to love this time of year, the beauty of it all. 

It was like climbing Everest: ambitious, dangerous, and maybe a little insane. 

Forgiveness was not something you were willing to offer so freely, not this time. 

Chaos may as well have been the code name of this mission. @nekoannie-chan​

Silence was your new best friend, one that never seemed to leave you alone.

That smile, that smile was something you could get used to waking up to every day. 

Your face twisted in disgust as you realized what you had fallen into.

You were beginning to wish you had taken [him/her/them] up on that trip to Madrid. 

Quotes from Popular Media:

With these prompts specifically, you can use the full thing, paraphrase, etc, since some of them are quite long, or just write something based off an idea it sparks. 

“There are so many stories where some brave hero decides to give their life to save the day, and because of their sacrifice, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer, and everybody lives happily ever after. But the hero... never gets to see that ending. They'll never know if their sacrifice actually made a difference. They'll never know if the day was really saved. In the end, they just have to have faith. Ain't that a bitch.” -Epsilon, Season 13, Red vs Blue 

“We're so arrogant, aren't we? So afraid of age, we do everything we can to prevent it. We don't realize what a privilege it is to grow old with someone. Someone who doesn't drive you to commit murder or doesn't humiliate you beyond repair.” - Daniel, P.S I Love You 

“After centuries of men looking at my tits instead of my eyes and pinching my ass instead of shaking my hand, I now have the divine right to stare at a man's backside with vulgar, cheap appreciation if I want to!” - Denise, P.S. I Love You

“Life isn't just death. Don't ignore the living.” - Vada Sultenfuss, My Girl

“Life's full of barbaric customs. But I hope they all end with a kiss like that.” - Vada Sultenfuss, My Girl 

"You're a little scary sometimes, you know that? Brilliant ... but scary." - Ron Weasley, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone 

"It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends." - Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone 

"I’ll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending I’m not there." - Harry Potter, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets 

“Sweetie, this is one of those times when I know what's right and everybody else is confused.” - Angela Montenegro, Bones, Season 3 

“Oh, God. I'm in the middle of something, aren't I? Oh, look! Dead guy!” - Cam Saroyan, Bones, Season 5

“Don’t make it sound trivial when you know it isn’t. You keep talking about how we just need a little more time, but you’re not the one having to struggle.” -Nora, RWBY, Volume 7

“It's called survival. But I forgot, you two at best are functional morons.” - Crowley, Supernatural, Season 5, Episode 10

“I once had to judge a tighty-whitey contest for Lambda Kappa Pi. Trust me, I can handle anything.” - Elle Woods, Legally Blonde 

“How were we supposed to know? It's not like we run background checks on all her boyfriends.” - Kathryn Kennish, Switched at Birth

“Don’t try to get on my good side. I no longer have a good one” - Ouiser, Steel Magnolias 

“I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.” - Shelby, Steel Magnolias 

“You have the handwriting of a serial killer” - Clairee, Steel Magnolias 

“I didn’t know if you would hire someone who might be married to someone who may or may not be a criminal” - Annelle, Steel Magnolias 

Lyric Prompts

What Do You Think Of - Lauren Alaina ft. Lukas Graham

What do you think of when you think of me?

When you look back on us what do you see? Is it the good times, is it the bad times, is it somewhere in between? 

I can’t even drive down 8th Avenue because the whole damn town reminds me of you

Hurts to Know - 1551

But you stayed when I made another promise to keep

And you waited and waited for the life you saw in your dreams 

You walk in and begin to try to heal me again, but each night is a fight that’s getting harder to win.

Sick - 1551

Everyone I meet feels like another target

I’m feeling sick, I’m feeling twisted, I wasn’t home before this feeling existed 

I never knew that wrong could feel so right

seven - Taylor Swift

Sweet tea in the summer, cross your heart won’t tell no other, and though I can’t recall your face, I still got love for you

Passed down like folk songs, the love lasts so long

I think your house is haunted, your dad is always mad and that must be why 

We’ll hide in the closet, and just like a folk song, our love will be passed on 

the last great american dynasty - Taylor Swift

How did a middle class divorcee do it? 

The wedding was charming, if a little gauche 

And they said “There goes the last great American dynasty. Who knows if she never showed up what could have been.” 

epiphany - Taylor Swift 

With you I serve, with you I fall down 

Something med school did not cover

And some things you just can’t speak about 

Chapters - Brett Young

Chapter one, I was raised on the Dodgers 

There’s no perfect life, you can’t hold back time

Everybody expecting perfection 

Things change in the blink of an eyelid, guess my body knew way more than I did

The Daughters - Little Big Town

Girl, know your place, be willing and able 

Girl, watch your mouth and watch your weight

Pose like a trophy on a shelf, and dream for everyone but not yourself

I wash the dishes, feed the kids, and clean up all this mess, do my best, forgive myself, and look good in this dress

It Won’t Always Be Like This - Carly Pearce 

I remember how I couldn’t wait to get out of my hometown, now I’m looking for every excuse to go back on the weekend

I remember hearing the door slam, twenty-two, didn't have a clue who I was, who I could trust, and who were my real friends

The heart won’t ache forever, no matter how hard it gets, it won’t always be like this

Next Girl - Carly Pearce 

You overlook a lot when he looks like that

He’ll charm your mama with that smile, hide the red flags for a while 

He’ll make you think it’s love, but I promise you it’s not 

Bar Back - Lauren Alaina 

You can have that coffee shop we went on our first date

I’ll give you back that sweatshirt, that one you know I love

I’m taking back that little hole in the wall, the red door sign saying “come on in y’all”

If I Was a Beer - Lauren Alaina

Honey you’re in luck, ‘cause I’m a fine, fine, wine. I’m a slow sweet pour, I can be a little bitter, but I ain’t a hard hitter, like a 30 from the grocery store

Waiting for Superman - Daughtry

She says “he’s still coming, just a little bit late” 

She’s talking to angels, counting the stars, making a wish on a passing car

If life was a movie, then it wouldn’t end like this 

Before You Go - Lewis Capaldi

When you hurt under the surface, like troubled water running could, well time can heal but this won’t

Before you go, was there something I could have said to make your heart beat better?

Our every moment, I start to replay, but all I can think about is seeing that look on your face  @arrowsandmixtapes​ 

Hard to Forget - Sam Hunt

It's kinda funny how I can't seem to get away from you, it's almost like you don't want me to

You’ve got a cold heart and the cold hard truth

Told me to leave all your things out on the porch on the swing

Oh you’re breaking my heart, baby you’re playing hard to forget 

This is It - Scotty McCreery

You can open your eyes

Can’t you see forever 

On top of the world here together

If there ever was a time for a perfect kiss, this is it 

Wish You’d Miss Me - Chase Wright

I was good for you, you were bad for me 

I was solid ground, you were broken wings 

I gave you love you gave me pain

You gave me hell, I gave you grace 

I knew all along that you were gonna leave 

What a Man Gotta Do - Jonas Brothers

I’m not trying to be your part time lover, sign me up for that full time @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad​

This Feeling - Chainsmokers ft. Kelsea Ballerini 

I lay out all my reasons you say that I need help

They tell me think with my head, not that thing in my chest

They got their hands at my neck this time 

I tell you all my secrets and you tell all your friends 

Hold onto your opinions and stand by what you say 

What Are You Gonna Tell Her - Mickey Guyton 

She thinks life is fair 

But what are you gonna tell her when she’s wrong?

What are you gonna tell her when she figures out that all this time you built her up just so the world could let her down? 

Do you tell her not to fight? 

Can you look her in the face and promise her that things will change? 

[zoequeenz]

Extreme Aggressor (Part 2)

MASTERLIST

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

(TIME SKIP)

We are at the second crime scene, Gideon was walking around the area where they found Anne. Derek, an officer, and I were walking up behind him.

“So that’s Gideon? The Gideon. The one who caught that guy, Adrian Baal, in Boston.” the officer asks us.

‘Yep. That’s him. But catching him cost six agents.” Morgan replied.

“It’d be best not to bring it up, he is still bothered by the event.” I add in.

Derek and I walk over to Gideon, Derek then explains the victim.

“22-year-old Anne Cushing was found right here. Nails clipped just like the others. He wants them to fight back.”

“Why does he want them to fight back?” I ask.

Gideon looks at a picture of Anne and says.

“But not enough to hurt him. And he left the belt around her neck.” Gideon tells us as he hands Derek the photo. Then Gideon adds on.

“He’s probably in his early 20s.”

“What’s your reasoning?” Morgan asks.

“Youthful arrogance.” Gideon says facing away from Morgan and I.

“He clothed the body before dumping it.” Morgan says

“Sign of remorse.” I say.

“It’s not consistent. Look where we are. His opinion of women is pretty clear, don’t you think?” Morgan says.

“They’re disposable.” Gideon answers.

“Why show remorse by taking the time to dress but then dump her here?” Morgan asks.

Gideon stops to think about it but never answers the question. Morgan and I turn around and walk away from him.

“So care to explain why pretty boy and you split up?” Derek asked.

“ I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I respond.

“Yes you do. You two are joined at the hip, I know you and I are pretty close but not as nearly close as you and Reid.” Derek presses.

“Okay fine, he asked if we could have nicknames. I don’t know why but he did. When I asked why he got all antsy and weirder than usual, now he won’t talk to me.” I tell him.

“I know what it is.” Derek smirks.

“What?” I ask.

“Pretty boy is jealous.” Derek laughs.

“Jealous? Of what?” I ask.

“Well little one, what do you think?” he questions.

“Derek what?” I ask as he walks away. “Derek….DEREK!  WHAT IS IT?” I yell running after him.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_Agent Spencer Reid’s POV

We are at Heather’s house and we are meeting up with her husband David Woodland. When we go in a dog barks at us which makes me jump. David grabs the dog’s collar then says.

“Sandy, no, no,no. I’m so sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. It’s what we call the Reid effect.” Hotch says then both he and David look at me.

“Happens with children, too. I’m Agent Hotchner. This is Special Agent Dr. Reid.” He finishes and then introduces us.

“You look too young to have gone to medical school.” David says.

“They’re Ph.D.s. --three of them.” I tell him.”

“Are you a genius or something?” David asks me.

“I don’t believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified..but I do have an IQ of 187 and an eidetic memory and can read 20,000 words per minute.” I tell him he gives me the look I always get and then I say.

“Yes, I’m a genius.” then I turn around and walk away from Hotch and David.

“Sandy, you get a lot of attention, don’t you?” Hotch asks the dog.

“Yeah, Heather loves this dog. I feed her when she’s away.” David tells Hotch.

“Usually, she’s fine, but… lately, she won’t eat. It’s almost like she can sense something’s wrong.”

“Not sense. Smell. Our apocrine sweat gland releases secretions in response to emotional stress.” I say.

“Sandy’s worried because she knows you are.” Hotch clarifies.

David gets it after Hotch explains. I look over at the magazines.

“David does your sister drive a Datsun Z?” I ask.

“No, but she’s in the market. How’d you know?” David asks.

I pick up the magazine and show it David and Hotch. After I show them Sandy barks and David takes her out of the room. Hotch then turns to me.

“There’s an immediate relationship between a buyer and a seller, a level of trust. If I want to coax a young woman into my car…” I pause then look at Hotch.

“Offer her a test drive.” Hotch nods.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Persephone Chase’s POV

We are back at the station. We’ve been here for a while we were just waiting on Spencer and Hotch. I still don’t know what Derek meant earlier about Spencer. What could he be jealous of? Hotch is married, Gideon is sorry to say this too old, and Derek is like my brother. It doesn’t make any sense! I come out of my thoughts when Derek begins to talk while throwing a baseball up in the air in pacing.

“Okay then how ‘bout the fact that on one hand, we have paranoid psychosis...but the autopsy protocol says what?” Derek asks.

Spencer is twirling around in the office chair. What a little cutie, I’ll admit Spencer is a looker. I’ve always been a bit confused about my feelings for him. But who can blame me? The boy is just so darn cute. His nice brown eyes, his curly hair that is always behind his ears, and his mind. I’ve always been a bit jealous of how smart he is. Though it drives most people away I would listen to him ramble all day. Only one person in the entire world knows of my attraction towards the loveable dork and that is JJ. She found out when I got caught up rambling about him during one of our girls night. She promised not to tell a soul and has kept it a secret this entire time.

“All right, enough!” Gideon said waking me from my mind palace.

We all went quite.

“Let’s tell them we’re ready.” he then adds.

Gideon then leaves the room. Hotch and Spencer are very quiet and Derek and I are stunned.

“We’re ready? Persephone wasn’t even listening.” Derek says as I give him a glare.

“Reid. You’re good with this? We’ve got a woman who’s only got a few hours left to live, an incomplete profile, and a unit chief on the verge of a nervous breakdown.” Derek says in disbelief.

Spencer just looks at him. The door then opens, its Gideon he is rushing to grab something.

“They don’t call them nervous breakdowns anymore.” Gideon tells Derek then leaves the room.

“It’s called a major depressive episode.” Spencer says making me smile.

“I know, Reid.” Morgan glares.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ Jason Gideon's POV

“ The unidentified subject is white and in his late twenties. He's someone you wouldn't notice at first. He's someone who'd blend into any crowd.”

As I  talk the background in my mind changes. I imagine people walking on a sidewalk. But the only one that sticks out is a man he has black hair, a tan jacket, and he's wearing jeans. They walked past me.  

“ The violent nature of the crime suggest to previous criminal record-- petty crimes.”

The background of people walking slowly fades away. My mind is back to the conference room with all the people in it.

“ Maybe auto theft. We've classified him as an organized killer-- careful. Psychopathic as opposed to  psychotic. He follows the news, has good hygiene. He's smart.”

My mind takes me to a different place again. This time it is the underpass where we found the second victim. The man is covering the woman's eyes he had something in his hand. He hears a noise, he runs away.

“ Because he's smart,  the only physical evidence you'll find is what he wants you to find.”

The background fades back to the conference room.

“ He's mobile, car in good condition. Our guess--  Jeep Cherokee, tinted windows. The murders have all involved rapes. But rape without penetration is a form of piquerism, and that tells us he is sexually inadequate.”

“Psychiatric evaluations full show of history of paranoia stemming from a childhood trauma--  death of a parent or family member.”

I say as my mind takes me to a funeral. A little boy standing by a coffin he looks at me.It then fades back, back to the conference room.

“Murder gives him a sense of power. Organized Killers have a fascination with law enforcement. They will inject themselves  into the investigation. They will even come forward as witnesses to see just how much the police really know. That makes them feel powerful, in control. Which is why I also think... in fact, I know... you have already interviewed him.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Elle Greenaway’s  POV

It's dark, cold, and the ground is still wet from the rain that happened earlier. I'm walking across the street to the Slessman house. I glanced behind me then hurry up the grass and up to the porch. I knock on the door and it opens.

“ Hi.” I greet.

I am met with the face of an old woman. She has an oxygen tank also the things are in her nose to help her breathe. She puts most of her weight on a cane. Behind her walks a young woman with her child, he is crying.

“I’m sorry to bother you. I’m house sitting down the street, and when I got back, the door was wide open, and the lights weren’t working. I feel stupid asking this, but is there someone who might be able to take a look inside with me?” I ask the old woman.

“Richard. Richard, get down here!” Mrs. Slessman yells facing the stairs.

Down comes this skinny man. Looks to be in his twenties, he is only a few inches taller than me, and he has got a slim face. He has blue green eyes and light stubble. Richard comes down and walks across the street with me.

“Are you sure you locked it?” Richard questions.

“Yeah.” I answer.

He opens the door and walks into the house. I follow him, the flashlight illuminating our path. We look around there doesn’t seem to be anyone there. I follow him as he walks into the dining room.

“Hello!” Richard calls out.

“FBI! FREEZE!” yells an agent.

“FREEZE!” yells another.

We caught him off guard. He is surprised, I use that moment to grab his hands and twist them behind his back causing him to drop the flashlight and fall onto his knees.

“Get him down!” someone yells.

I take out my handcuffs and cuff him then say…

“Richard Slessman, FBI. Are under arrest for the murder…”

He ignores my words and looks to the side. Outcomes Gideon Richard gives him an evil smile.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Persephone Chase’s POV

“Emerson said,”All is riddle, and the key to a riddle...is another riddle.”

Hotch and Gideon enter the house.

“I’m going up.” Hotch informs us.

Gideon walks into the hallway and Spencer and I join him. Gideon glances into the kitchen to see Mrs.Slessman sitting at the kitchen tabled, the woman with the child is next to her.

“There’s no sign of the girl here. We can arrest him with probable cause.” Spencer tells Gideon.

“But we won’t be able to hold him.” I finish for him.

“Slessman’s been at the top of the suspect list.” Spencer adds in.

“Is that the mother?” asks Gideon.

“Grandmother. The mother died in a fire when he was 13.” the new agent Elle Greenaway answers.

Gideon walks past her and into the kitchen.

“Probably not the only fire in his childhood.” Gideon says.

Spencer and I follow him into the kitchen. Derek puts down the papers he was looking at and comes up behind me.

“Before his “Son of Sam” murders, David Berkowitz set a multitude of fires.” Spencer spits out.

“How many is a multitude?” I ask him.

“According to his diary, 1,400 and…” but he was cut off when Elle said.

“...88.”

“Luring him out was your idea, right? Greenaway?” Gideon asks Elle.

“Elle. I don’t send a SWAT team into a house with children.” she clarifies.

“Hotch says your background is in sex offender cases. What can you tell us?” Gideon questions.

“The last four murders show he’s an anger-excitation rapist. He’ll keep a victim of a couple of days. He probably records or videotapes them so he can keep reliving the fantasy.” she tells us.

“You okay with Hotch being in on the interview?” Gideon asks Elle.

“I’d like him to lead actually.” she tells him.

“Fine. But hold off. Slessman’s done time, and he knows the process. And all you will get now is a demand for a lawyer.” he tells her.

Gideon turns to head out, Elle looks a little disappointed. I’m not too sure why. Maybe she’s just not used to how he is with people.

“Hotch, let’s check the garage, then show me what you got.” Gideon says walking to Hotch who is still upstairs.

“Next time, show a little leg.” Derek says I slap him upside the head and give him a look telling him to shut up.

“I’m Persephone Chase, this is Spencer Reid, and that was Derek Morgan. Ignore what he just said he is just messing with you. But don’t look so disappointed, Gideon is that way with everyone.” I tell her. She smiles at me and then we head up the stairs together.

“Morgan, the only time you’re gonna see a little leg from me is when I’m about to kick your ass.” Elle tells him and I high five her. Girl power at its finest.

“I still teach hand-to-hand over at Quantico if you need a little brush-up training.” Derek smirks.

“Seriously...I want that opening at BAU. You got any advice?” Elle asks him.

“Just trust your instincts.” he tells her, she looks at me to see if he is telling the truth and I nod my head.

I follow Derek into Richard’s bedroom. While Derek looks around the room I stare at this huge model airplane that hangs right above his bed.

“This is a little odd.” I say out loud.

“Somethings not right about this. This is a boy’s room...not a man’s.” Derek tells me and I nod in agreement. Two other agents walk in. They go over to his laptop and try to get in.

“Log in password.” says agent 1.

Agent 2 gives Agent 1 a slip of paper. He begins to type in DEADBOLT DEFENSE and the password as SLSS6000.

“No, no-- wait, wait!” Morgan tries to stop them but it’s too late.

“It’s not turning back on.” the agent says as I roll my eyes.

“Yeah. And it won’t.” he says annoyed.

“It was a false password.” I finish for him just as annoyed.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Elle Greenaway’s POV

I walk into the attic. To my surprize Reid and Gideon are already there. They are staring at a GO board. Hotch is standing behind them.

“What kind of game is it?” I ask.

“In China, it’s called Wei-Chi. Here we call it “GO”. It’s considered to be the most difficult board game ever conceived.” Reid answers.

“Chairman Mao required his generals to learn it.” Gideon adds in.

“It also looks like he’s playing himself.” Reid points out.

“How can you tell?” I ask him.

He reaches down and spins the board.

“This might provide an advantage, actually. GO is considered to be particularly psychologically revealing game. There are profiles for every player -- The Conservative Point Counter, The Aggressor, The Finesser.” Reid says.

“What kind of play is Slessman?” Hotch asks.

Reid leans forward to study the board. Then he looks at Hotch and says…

“Extreme Aggressor.”

NEXT CHAPTER 

[sprut6]

The Society Thoughts and Theories

Lots of spoilers if you haven’t finished season 1! This show is bananas and I absolutely love theorizing things like this where we don’t know what’s going on. I have some ideas below and some way more out there than others. Would love to hear what others think!

Where are they:

1. Parallel Universe – I feel like the show was pushing this hard with the strange solar eclipse, bringing it up multiple times (more than other theories). For that reason, I don’t think that will be what it is. However, I loved the twist about the eclipse. I really feel like they pushed PU hard in S1 even though people also threw around other ideas I still felt like this one was pushed the most. I think in S2 they’ll push a different theory to take us in a different direction and I think we’re seeing that with how S1 ended.

2. Kidnapped – I think this is a strong theory and where the show really wants us to go in assuming they’ve been taken and are being held hostage for ransom. I’ve seen some theories about the season finale saying that we don’t know what the dog represents and I agree but I definitely think that’s what the writers want us to assume – the dog is the same dog so it’s earth and the dog was able to get from New Ham to West Ham somehow. I think this will be the main theory for S2 that everyone will work around.

3. Afterlife – A reasonable theory now that we know that West Ham still exists and there is a memorial to the kids. But it’s too similar to (SPOILER – even though the show has been over for almost a decade) Lost. I think it would be disappointing if they copied it and I just think that everyone is alive.

4. Dream – I actually really like this theory. I could even see it being something like they wake back up on the bus and they (and the viewer) don’t know if it was a dream or what really happened although as a viewer that would be frustrating if we don’t have closure.

5. Simulation – They were kidnapped and they’re in a coma/simulation where this is all playing out while they’re being held for ransom. I actually was just like eh/maybe about this theory but as I was thinking it through more I think I’m getting more behind this one. (More thoughts on this below). At the moment this is my front runner.

6. Experiment – I actually don’t like this one but still wanted to include it. Again (spoiler) it’s copying The Village kind of and I just don’t know how likely I think it would be especially if the parents are supposed to be involved. Just bizarre all around if this was it.

 Theories:

1. Now that we know their parents aren’t dead, I’m thinking we’re going to see the parents a lot in S2. I think it’ll flip back and forth between perspectives between New Ham and West Ham. Maybe even some flashbacks leading up to field trip day.

2. We’ll get a new mayor. I don’t see Harry/Lexie staying mayor throughout. I think Allie will be re-elected at some point in S2 or we’ll see a breakdown of the system and she or someone else will take back over. 

3. We’ll learn who Eden’s biological father is. I strongly felt like it was Luke (because of problems it would create) until the Thanksgiving episode. When Luke and Helena announced they were getting married it showed Becca as really happy and I’m not sure that would have been authentic if it was Luke. I think the creators would have either showed a slower response or not shown her at all. I think Campbell is a stronger possibility because of Becca asking Sam to never ask her that again. I think she regrets whomever she slept with. If it’s Campbell I think it would be pretty devastating to her relationship with Sam. Even though they’ve never been in a romantic relationship she has seen how Campbell has treated Sam over the years and I think Sam will be hurt that his best friend slept with his abuser/bully. I think it would really change their dynamic and could possibly push Sam away from Becca.

4. Luke and Helena’s wedding doesn’t happen or gets postponed. I think their relationship will breakdown. It could be if Luke is the father but I don’t think they’re going to go that route because of how S1 ends and Luke having to side with Campbell. I think Helena will learn what really happened and she’ll have strong feelings about Luke lying to her.

5. I think we’ll see more side characters added. The cast is large already but we’ll need to continue to see alliances made between sides and new problems added so I think they’ll introduce more people who have been in the background just like we saw Lexie take a more prominent role right at the end. 

6. We’ll learn more about Pfieffer. I’m not convinced that’s a person. I’m wondering if that’s a code word, company name, etc.

7. Kelly and Harry’s parents aren’t having an affair. I think the meeting at the hotel will actually be a meeting between council members surrounding the smell/blackmail/mystery, etc. I think the group will start expanding on the council knowing more leading up to the field trip and they’ll start looking at other council member’s offices, homes and find more were at the hotel meeting.

8. The parents are working on a plan but the show might not let us know that. If the show wants us to think it’s possible the group is dead then I don’t think they’ll show us much of the parents but I’m thinking we might see S2 pick up with the parents. We have only a few parents in the library as opposed to a large group like an official memorial. I think its council members meeting. I think they know the kids are alive and they’re being extorted for money or something that is very difficult for them to get.

9. Harry knows something. He called this all a game and he’s inferred several times that everything would be okay. I think he knows something more specific or his parents said something to him to make him think that something could possibly happen but that everything would be okay. He also was one of the few that wasn’t worried at all in those early days.

10. I really debated mentioning this theory because I worried some people might think I was victim blaming or glamorizing Campbell but bear with me. I think it’s possible Elle has a mental disorder and she is actually harming herself and not Campbell. We know Campbell is a diagnosed psychopath but the show hasn’t shown us the physical abuse they’ve led us to believe is happening. It didn’t show him branding her or hitting her. Elle also hasn’t specifically stated that Campbell is hurting her, she lets people infer it. I think there’s a reason for both and I think it’s because he didn’t do it and it was actually Elle who branded herself with the C. Also, remember the dog. If the dog is the same then Campbell didn’t kill it as we were originally led to assume. If Elle has a diagnosed mental illness then most likely she hasn’t been on medication for months. I think we’ll find out more about what her home life like in S2 because as it stands she is the most central character that we know the least about in regards to backstory. It also would add another layer of complexity to the show. The group might have to decide, do they hold someone against their will if they consider them to be a danger to themselves or others (she tried to kill Campbell). In S1 we saw how they had to handle illnesses like a snake bite, poisoning, pregnancy but they didn’t deal with mental illness outside of Harry’s depression. I could see them tackling something like schizophrenia and the stigma around mental illnesses.

11. Maybe no one is dead. If it is a simulation maybe the deaths are the parents getting kids out/rescued. This is hard because of Allie and Cassandra and the idea that a parent would have to choose a child to rescue and leave another behind (at least for now) except Cassandra had a serious heart condition. Maybe the parents would pay her ransom first because of her illness and have to wait longer for Allie. I just think in a lot of shows there are reasons why characters have illnesses, etc and it’s because the show is going to use them later but Cassandra’s was never really used because she died so quickly and in a way that had nothing to do with her heart so why even have the character with that issue? But if there had to be a reason why one child would be chosen and another left then illness could be a factor. Also, maybe two parents paid at the same time – Cassandra’s and Dewey’s and that’s why their deaths are somewhat tied together. I’ll admit, this is pretty out there. I totally get that but I like the idea that no one is dead.

 Questions I want the kids to start asking themselves:

1. Where did the bus drivers go? They dropped them off and then the buses left. If they’re not in town then that should mean there’s a way out.

2. Why is the power still on and water running? We’ve seen multiple shots showing electricity and water but both should be off at this point without anyone running those systems. Power and water plants won’t run for months on their own.

 Random thoughts:

Love the nods to different forms of governing. Really interesting and smart insights!

I see some parallels to Animal Farm. Especially with how power corrupts.

Kind of pondering if the literature/movie references are important. 500 Days of Summer has a nod because of the creator but we’re seeing some of the books and movies in certain shots and just curious if there are more to them than face value. For example, The Princess Bride is a story within a story...which brings me back around to the simulation theory.

I told you, the series is bananas.

[canvaswolfdoll]

CanvasWatches: Dragon Pilot: Hisone and Masotan

Not going to do a Summer 2018 write up because I only lasted through one anime, and Chio’s School Road had… issues I don’t feel like discussing.

Also, haven’t had time to continue the Digimon Rewatch (which is exclusive to the Patreon until I finish season one).

Doesn’t mean I’ve been slacking! Netflix’s most recent license camping for it’s tedious binge watch format is Dragon Pilot: Hisone and Masotan, which was a delight to watch! Go watch it, right now! Do it!

Anyways, time for my… whatever this thing is... on it.

Hisone is a woman who joined the airforce because, near as I can tell, she didn’t have any other ideas for what to put on her school’s career plan worksheet that shows up in every anime, and she saw a fighter plane soar by.

There’s… worse motivations, I guess?

Anyways, while working a desk job, she’s invited to an interview at a far away hangar.

She goes to the hangar and is promptly eaten by a dragon.

But it’s okay! The dragon just wanted to eat her old flip phone! And the crew got her thrown up pretty quick! And now they want her to pilot the dragon.

By getting swallowed and controlling the thing but prodding its soft innards.

Anime

So, Dragons are a thing that exist, and the world governments have been helping hiding them because… that’s the deal they made? Anyways, Japan hides their dragons as fighter planes, and has their air force manage them.

Because we need to explain this bizarre premise somehow.

Dragons are selective about who they will swallow and not digest, and Hisone is one of those lucky few. So she’s a D-Pilot now, which is probably a promotion from her ill-defined desk job.

Also, now she has to put up with Nao Kaizaki, initially the only member of Gifu Base’s D-Pi program, and a woman who couldn’t get the dragon to swallow her, so her position is more theoretical.

Kaizaki is introduced exhibiting the mannerisms of your typical High School Thug boy character, so you know she’ll be interesting.[1]

Hisone’s superior officer, Remi Kakiyasu, was also once a candidate for dragon piloting who couldn’t get the dragon to accept her. So the entire program is kind of low on practical experience.

Then there’s the woman selling yogurt who is clearly important, but it’ll take a few episodes for yogurt woman to reveal her purpose.

So Kaizaki and Kakiyasu train Hisone up as she comes to grips with her new responsibilities.

Hisone finds a plaque embedded in the dragon to learn his name is Masotan.

And so, the title is complete.

Then three more pilots fly in in episode 4, and the main plot starts to meander in a direction.

Let’s meet the other three team members!

Elle Hoshino: Enlisted to become the first female fighter pilot, and is displeased to have been placed on the OTF (Organic Transformed Flier) program instead. So her dragon, F-2/Norma, refuses to leave it’s plane form to please its partner. Eventually Elle comes around and loosens up. She’s fine.

Mayumi Hitomi: A matronly shaped pilot. She’s soft-hearted and soft spoken. Flies a large, goofy looking dragon named Futomomo. She’s fine.

Lilico Kinutsugai: Winner of the Canvas’s ‘Wait, I want more’  award, Lilico is a shut-in with a wry sense of humor and love of manga. Her dragon is the samurai-looking Akemi. Lilico is also apparently asexual, something I wish they’d given space to explore a little more.

She could’ve been my favorite pilot,[2] but the show didn’t commit enough.

So the pilots are placed through a couple adventures to become friends as the creepy Iboshi (some vaguely defined government guy) watches and plots.

Iboshi is the closest thing the series has to a villain, despite it being more of a Man vs. Nature affair. He possesses a callous disregard for the people of the D-Pi program, focused on the looming Ritual the D-Pi are needed for.

This cold-naturedness made me dislike him, but also allows the series to run relationship drama in a really interesting direction.

Because, guess what? If the D-Pi fall in love, the dragons will instinctively reject them. And they need the D-Pi to keep the Dragons healthy, and also escort a giant dragon to ensure it doesn’t destroy Japan in its wake! Oh dear. This frames the ‘will-they, won’t-they’ of Hisone and Haruto of the maintenance team into an major conflict with dramatic consequences and justifies a dumb ‘misunderstanding’ plot with one of the other D-Pi.

This shows builds a very grounded, mature, and compelling view on romance, and I am super game for it. And super down to sing its praises.

I’ve found that the sweet spot for making me care about a romance plot isn’t tsundere antics, or fear, or dumb misunderstandings, because there’s nothing I crave in my media more than emotional honesty.

No, the slow burn I crave is sheer ignorance. It takes several episodes for Hisone to understand she may have feelings for Haruto beyond friendship, then more for her to actually accept and admit her feelings to herself, then the fantasy takes over to prevent a tedious ‘Oh, will you two just talk’ subplot, because Hisone can no longer do her job lest she get digested by her dragon! So the conflict of “How does Hisone deal with her feelings” becomes augmented to “How does Hisone do her freaking job now!?”

The answer, seemingly, is just have a level head on the topic: Mayumi Hitomi also has plenty of ship teases with another character, but never is at risk of being eaten. It doesn’t get examined, because Hitomi’s ability to just kind of… casually acknowledge it and not let the Doki-Dokis mess up her stride doesn’t draw attention.

And because Hitomi’s resolution to the conflict eventually comes down to “I don’t want to abandon anyone ever” means her love for Haruto[4] is just added to the pile of things Hitomi is just anxiously passionate about, in equal measures to her love of flying Masoton, and that seems to work out.

Which, I guess means the secret to flying the dragon’s isn’t a creepy expectation of a pure heart, Iboshi, but emotional maturity.

Which brings us to the jerky, playboy wannabe breaking Elle’s heart. Like a monster.

Take note, writers: this is the first time ‘I broke your heart to protect/save you!’ has ever been successfully executed without one or both parties catching a case of the stupids! Watch this and learn!

So, early in the series, we meet Yutaka Zaito, a wannabe womanizer who has no success, but maintains his illusion of charisma nevertheless. Then he meets Elle, whose serious attitude and cold shoulder grabs his attention, and he suddenly abandons his swarm and tries to, gently, ingratiate himself to Elle, who gradually warms up to him.

It’s nice.

But then the whole ‘Dragon digests those with unsteady hearts’ plot point happens, and Elle is in a position where she can’t even fly her dragon, sending her ambitions even further away. And she hasn’t realized it’s Zaito causing her heart flutters.

But Zaito, upon learning the situation, does understand. And knows that it’s either him or Elle’s career.

So, he turns up the creep, approaches Elle, and proposes a friends-with-benefits arrangement, claiming not to want a serious relationship, and subtly mocks Elle’s dragon rejection. This breaks Elle’s heart, of course, but resolves the matter. She can fly Norma again, and Zaito is left to bite his tongue and let his crush pursue her best life.

The sequence is well executed. It’s a misunderstanding perpetuated intentionally, knowingly, and selflessly by one party, and exists for reasons beyond ‘Neh, let’s have some dumb romance drama now’. Zaito knows what he’s giving up, but still breaks Elle’s heart because she legitimately needs him to so she can pursue her dreams. There’s no other timely way.

On the other end, the show introduces Natsume,[5] a childhood friend of Haruto, who comes in to be Hisone’s rival!

Except Hisone is too oblivious and all-loving to care, and Haruto is straight disinterested in Natsume. And Natsume is a shallow Tsundere and lacks any appealing characterization. They could’ve given her role to Nao, who desperately needs something to do in the later half of the series, or, better yet, just have Haruto be the human sacrifice.

“But you need a girl for the sacrificial beauty role!”

Okay.

Make Haruto a girl.

“Are you proposing the show suddenly swerve into Yuri?”

I mean, Yogurt lady’s backstory is literally a Tragic WWII-era Yuri love story.[6]

Sada Hinomoto shows up selling yogurt and being charming and mysterious so you know there’s something deeper going on.

Turns out, she’s the last D-Pi from the last time they did the ritual, so she actually has proper experience to teach the new kids, and, oh yeah, she hates Iboshi, resents the entire procedure, and carries a lot of trauma from when her friend Yae was chosen to be the human sacrifice last time, and though the show doesn’t spell it out, the intimate blocking and their schemes to flee to Paris paints a super clear picture about what that relationship was about and, gosh dangit, is she one cool grandma.

All she wants to to get back to the giant dragon to find closure with what happened to Yae and force an alternate solution.

Fortunately, Hisone is just the sort of loveable goofball to find an alternate to the Giant Dragon’s bedtime snack!

So there’s another reason why Hisone’s love interest should’ve been a girl.[8]

Now, practically this could’ve been accomplished a couple of ways: gender flip Haruto, cut Haruto and use Nao, pr combine characters. Point is, no matter how you do it, this hypothetical female love interest is now the human sacrifice for Mitatsu-sama.

With this change, there is a new parallel drawn between Hisone and Hinomoto,[9] further underlines Hisone’s tendency toward heartfelt dedication to unconventional methods, and Hisone’s desire for saving the sacrifice changes from an impersonal “Human sacrifices are wrong”[10] to “Human sacrifices are wrong, and also screw you I love that girl!”

And if that girl had Tsundere tendencies (like Nao or Natsume), that’d make the pairing even cuter.

Also, points for the entire D-Pi team unambiguously disbelieving Hisone’s ambiguous fate at the end. It’s fun to see such trope-awareness.[11]

In conclusion: Dragon Pilot is super adorable and sincere, the premise is quintessential anime, and it’s just fun. Sure, most of the characters deserve more depth and exploration, but that’s always my complaint and it’s only a 12-episode series. Plus, it very good at portraying mature characters without stooping into immature means.

And it’s really cementing my love of BONES as a studio.[12] I need to put more effort into seeking out their work.

So go watch it.

Thanks for reading my review! These do tend towards inconsistent release, but they’re fun to do. Consider checking out my other reviews, essays, and the rarer original work. I’m also nearing the end of my Muffin Comics experiment, so catch those while you can! If you really like what I’m outputting, I’ve got a Patreon, set on a monthly schedule so you know what you’re committing to.[13]

Next time: a Netflix Original of a magical tone! (And hopefully more Digimon)

Kataal kataal

[1] At least, that’s the hope. Gets dashed once the other D-Pi arrive on base and Kaizaki slips out of the spotlight. [2] The title goes to Hisone herself.[3] [3] Anyone else have troubles saying the main character/romantic lead are their favorite? Like it’s too easy an answer or something? Because I do. [4] All these H names are raising the hackles of my Mug Rule… [5] Presumably so they can localize Harvest Moon games. [6] Which means we were this close to a Yuri anime not about assaulting high schoolers and creepy family dynamics,[7] but one about Dragons pretending to be a spitfire and historical context and and light-hearted comedy and I honestly would trade this show for that and I love Hisone & Maston! [7] Citrus did not sit well with Canvas. [8] Canvas’s full tilt idea, by the way, is to combine Haruto, Nao, and Natsume. Condense characters and keep them all relevant longer. [9] Way too many H names. [10] Not that Hisone being a goofy all-loving hero isn’t super endearing. [11] Though it’d be nice to know what Hisone and Masoton were doing. Had Hisone ejected out of the dragon at any point during the… months(?) long time jump? [12] Wolf’s Rain notwithstanding. [13] Not going to lie, nothing deflects me from lending support quicker than a ‘Per Update’ schedule.

[ughthatimagineblog]

mama

jim hopper x reader

requested:   Could I request a Jim Hopper x reader where they're making a meal for themselves and Jane but while she's not home so maybe a lot of cutesy (or some hotness) haha   Can I request a Jim Hopper x reader where the reader is from Hawkins and she comes back after having previously moved away. One day reader’s walking the town just getting used to it again and she gets mildly harassed (nothing sexual) just a dude who won’t leave her alone, and Jim’s driving by and he stops (b/c he’s chief obvs). He deals with the situation and reader recognizes him and remembers when she had a crush on him in high school and realizes she still very much loves him. FLUFF basically

word count: 2063

warnings: cuteness, my own twist, spoilers (duh, watch all nine episodes before you read, kiddos!)

a/n: okay so this was a double request! i decided to take out two requests in one go and I’m pretty cool with how this turned out. side note to everyone else who is waiting; ive been sick! with the flu! so its been taking longer since I need rest and I have to catch up on work. yall understand. anyways, hope you like it!

November, Hawkins, Indiana, 1984

The bench was cold underneath your jeans as you scribbled in your notebook, trying to find all the details of what exactly had changed in your hometown since you’ve been gone.  You left after high school to attend college in New York and since being back, things haven’t changed. That was a lie. A lot had changed. But nothing people could explicitly see with a passing eye.  Small details. Stop signs were changed. They were a brighter red now. Store names had improved logos, some shops had moved locations, there were new employees, new people and the high school got new bleachers, also changing their location.  You sighed and noticed the bar across the street. Checking your watch, it was noon and you decided you could go for something to eat. Getting up, you walked to the other side of the street, stopping before you could head in making sure you had your wallet and money inside.  That’s when you heard honking. “Hey, beautiful!” 

A voice shouted after you. You turned around to see a car that had just parked outside the bar and a man, about twenty five, probably, climbing out of it. You rolled your eyes, though subtly. You weren’t big on confrontation with strangers.  “Yes?” You questioned, trying to sound annoyed. The man feigned hurt and put his hands up with a mock frown on his face after shutting his car door. “Hey, hey, hey, why the attitude? No need for that, I’m just trying to get to know you. How come I’ve never seen you before?” He asked, a toothpick you noticed, hanging out of his smirk-ridden mouth. You nearly glared.  “I just moved back into town. I went to high school here and the reason you don’t know who I am is because, well, how old are you? Twenty six?” You asked, putting your wallet back into your back, your face scrunched up, eyes squinting and lips pressed into a line.  “Twenty eight, baby.” He smiled and pressed an arm next to your head on the concrete outside the bar wall. You did roll your eyes obviously this time. “Right, well, the reason you’ve never seen me is because I was turning ten when you were coming out of your, probably now severely disappointed mother's vagina, now if you’ll excuse me, I’m here to get some food and leave so please, leave me alone.” You ranted and his smirk dropped, but not before his hand did.  His other arm came up and entrapped you, pressed against the wall. You frantically looked around. The streets had barely any foot traffic.  “I said, there’s no need for attitude.” The man said, threatening your personal space. Who were you kidding? He threatened your personal space when he parked ten feet in front of you.

 “Get away from me.” You tried. “Yeah?” He taunted. “Now, why would I do that?” He asked with an ugly grin on his face.

 You barely heard the door chime and a hand landed on the man’s shoulder. “Because the Sheriff’s here, now you heard her. Back away and go on with your day unless you want a VIP trip to the station.” A second man’s deep voice sounded behind him. The man backed away, looking at. . . Jim Hopper with a look that screamed, ‘her loss’, before climbing back into his car and driving away.  You sighed in relief. “Jim? Is that really you?” You inspected the man’s face more and you nodded. It was.  He took off his hat and smiled at the ground. “Yes it is, Y/N.”

You felt your heart flutter and you moved your hair behind your ear. “Feels like high school running into you.” You said meekly and felt like hitting yourself for making such an awkward comment. He nearly blushed but he settled for a chuckle. “Yeah, it sort of does, doesn’t it?” He paused. “Speaking of which, why are you back in town?” He asked.  “Missed home.” You shrugged and he nodded, looking around. “Do you have a place to stay? I can drive you home. Sorry about Joe he’s kind of the local perv now.” He apologized and you laughed. “Well, now I know who to look out for.” You smiled. “And about the place to stay. . .’

Two knocks, then one, then three. The secret code.

You smiled, wiped off your hands on your apron and opened the door. It was Hopper. You smiled and let him in.  “Now, what in the world smells so good?” He asked, stepping into the cabin, wrapping his arms around you. “Just something for dinner for you and Jane. Or Elle. I’m not quite sure what she’s comfortable with now.” You added while Hopper was kissing his way down your neck and frankly, you were only paying attention with half a brain.  It had been six months since you moved in. Six months since last November and you were well aware of the whole Upside Down situation. It comforted you knowing the whole group was looking out for you, seeing as you were the newest.

 But the hardest part of it all was moving in with Hopper and Eleven. Or Jane. You loved her. She was beautiful and smart and had amazing powers with unbelievable potential. But you were unsure on where you stood with her. You were aware of all that had happened to her real mom and you prayed that she would even accept you in a similar light.  “That is so sweet of you. And good timing. There’s a surprise tonight.” You raised your eyebrows, smirked and pressed a chaste kiss to your boyfriend’s lips before turning away and clasping your hands together. “Okay, now, I am making food so you either can help or you can get out of the kitchen.” You walked back to the kitchen where ingredients were spread across the counter that was the cleanest Hopper had ever seen it.  He gave you a look and you couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was.

“Okay. . . What are you making?” He smiled, mulling over what you had out. “Three cheese chicken pasta dish. It was originally beef but I was very skeptical on how that would come out. Now I have all the ingredients all I really need you to do is make the pasta in a boiling saucepan of water and I’ll cook the chicken and we can prepare the sauce and I’ll handle the rest. Actually,” You turned and rested your back on the edge of the sink. “While you prepare the pasta, I’ll make the table nice.” You tapped your finger to your lip and stared almost mindlessly at the kitchen table.  “Can I ask why you’re doing all this?” He asked, though careful not to sound rude. “I just want to make a good impression on Jane. She’s your daughter now. In a way, she always has been. And I know how much that means to you- to both of you. And I wanted to do one thing special for her.” You explained and he smiled. “Besides, I realized I haven’t done anything for you since you let me move in.” You gave him a sad smile before he waved you off and wrapped you in his arms.  “Ah, that’s nonsense. You know I’ve loved you since Junior year. It really only felt like a little bit of a chore.” He teased and you smacked his chest. “Hey!” You giggled. “Only kidding, dear.” He smiled and leaned in, pressing his lips to yours.    Knock knock, knock, knock knock knock. The sound burst through the barely quiet room and Hopper stopped in his tracks from pulling out the pasta. You both looked at each other.  “It’s Eleven, Mike and Dustin here to drop her off.” You heard a voice from outside and you checked the time. It was eight.  You walked over to the door and opened it, smiling at the two boys and young girl. Elle’s face brightened at the sight of you and ran in to hug you. You hugged her back and turned your attention on the boys. “Thank you so much for making sure she got here safe.” You waved as they left and shouted, “No problem, Ms. Y/L/N!”

 Elle made her way to the kitchen and saw the table set up and the dish set in the middle. “What’s this?” She asked and you smiled at her.  “Dinner.”

 Everyone had eaten and you were watching Jane finish with Hopper’s hand resting on your knee. “Was it good?” You asked Elle and she nodded. “Good. I made it for you. I hoped you would.” You smiled and Hopper had barely even noticed Eleven’s reply. “Jane.” He said, turning his attention to his daughter. “Remember what we talked about?” He asked and it took her a second, but a light bulb went off in her head and her face brightened ten times over.  “Good.” Hopper said as he rose from the table and disappeared into his room. “He’ll be back.” She explained.

You fidgeted nervously, not knowing what this was about but you did know you had alone time with Jane and wanted to get something off of your chest. “Jane?” You asked and her attention turned towards you. “Yes?” She asked. “I want you to know, I did this to make sure you like me. I know that seems weird. But I really love your dad, Hopper. I really do. And well, in turn, I love you too. I want you to know I’m not trying to be your mom, your mama, I could never replace her. Ever. And I want you to know I’m not trying to. But I do hope I can help you learn and grow in any way I can. I really hope you understand.” You ranted and it felt like a weight had been lifted. You really wanted to get all of that off your shoulders and when you looked up from fidgeting hands, you saw her smiling at you, tears brimming. You smiled too and couldn’t help but get up and hug her, in which she returned the gesture. “I love you too.” She whispered and you nearly sobbed. The sound of footsteps entering the room again made you separate and you looked up to Hopper, who was making his way back to sit down. He looked between you two, saw your crying faces and smiled. “I think it’s time for dessert. Y/N, can you get it for us?” He asked and you nodded quickly. “Of course.” You got up and turned around, making your way to the fridge, where it was cooling. You had made a plate of Eggos, bananas, and Nutella, knowing Elle would love the combination of flavors.   When you shut the refrigerator door you nearly screamed. Hopper was kneeling on one knee and Eleven was standing at his side, one arm on his shoulder.”Y/N?” He began and you felt your eyes well up again. Setting aside the dessert, you covered your mouth. “In these many months, you have been such an amazing person to have in our lives and it’s a wonder you haven’t run away.” He laughed and pulled out a box. “And really, I never thought I’d do this again. Then again, I never thought I’d have a daughter again.” Hopped turned to Elle and you swore you saw a tear. “But, it happened. And now I want her to have a proper mother. Jane and I have talked it over, and she would be more than happy for you to fill that role. I care so much about you. Always have. And in the past six months, it’s made me realize how big of an idiot I was to let you go years ago. I love you, and I don’t plan on making that mistake again.” He ranted. Pulling open the box, a ring with two intertwined diamonds were inside. “Will you marry me?” He asked and you nodded, running to hug him. “Yes.” You cried, muffled into his shoulder and you felt Jane’s arms wrap around you. It was barely quiet for a moment when you heard her whisper. “Mama.”

hope you enjoyed!   @starscobe  @dark-as-love

[popcornbutterflymedia]

every episode since the pilot has been a favorite, so to call this one another favorite is redundant. this is a standout episode, a breakthrough. there is a lot to unpack and i love it.

this episode grounds the central romance in the real world between two people burdened by responsibility, haunted by their past, hardened by their own hurts. there has always been a personal need for a love story between two people who feels undeserving of love, while the other is incapable of giving love. i’ve always wondered at the dynamics of two damaged beings, if love is even possible for them. this single episode has made it that story, and it’s incredibly satisfying.

a random, possibly unrelated question: are hardened people who aren’t used to being vulnerable considered broken, when they don’t show emotion, and are incapable to let emotion in or are they just shaped differently? if they are indeed brojen, is brokenness even a bad thing?

this installment in the series is a reckoning with the hurts that shape people, acceptance and healing.

we are reminded of the outburst from the previous installment that seemingly came out of left field. it accomplished what it set out to do, which was to drive a wedge between taguro and sensui, and thus by extension the friend group. it was clear, after this confrontation that their alter egos are still alive, ready to answer either's call. what it hasn't done, at this point, is explain why everything imploded in the first place. more on that later. what it has also done though, is show donny's improved acting, which frankly, til now still leaves me speechless. the sparks between donny and belle were also on full display, so bright, it's blinding, so present it will be foolish to deny it.

in deib’s bedside monologue for an audience of one, he laments his predisposition to hurt everyone he loves, compounded by having to constantly prove his worth, he carries the weight of the world in his heart. weather or not this is the factual truth matters little when life makes one question one’s worth, and capacity to love. 

onscreen moments become relatable when fictional situations are made alive by feelings that become friends you know do well, and emotions take hold of the heart, like this one did and never let go. there is still a heaviness as this is being written, that is not unwanted.

at the barb, team max inquires about the girl's supposed friendship with deib, which paved the way to a map of max's heart, along with a comprehensive history of its heartbreaks. this lesson includes a chapter on childhood love, one she willingly waited on for years. it was a summer romance, new and shiny, bright and childlike and blinding. she had the boy's heart in her keeping only returned when and shares when the boy returned home. it felt good, she said, to be loved, and be loved in return, to be accepted unconditionally. it was good. it was good, until the boy discovered the bigger world, and the bigger world discovered the boy. the world gave everything rj wanted, and maybe demanded so much from him in return. home was difficult to come back to, where without a word, with his heart in her hands, waiting and waiting, her and waiting. that is how we, the audience found her: waiting. that is how her friends found her: waiting. that is how deib met her: in a state of mistrust, and uncertainly waiting.

without a word of absolution, from rj, max took on the responsibility of being left behind. she was left to her own devices for survival, thus the harsh exterior, the high walls around her heart, taking on the pain, keeping it all in, while her trust issues affect all her present relationships, active and possible ones.

a belated realization is that max and deib share a selflessness that can be toxic, in that they both take responsibility for any pain, or unfortunately circumstance. they internalize that weight and carry it around, unprompted

writing is usually a balm for a heavy heart. there is something about putting words to one’s feelings and seeing those words on a safe writing blank space that makes everything better. it has saved max countless times over, that is until it hasn’t.

max’s dad has been surprising me since the beginning. the anchor, and stand up man that is as a character is genuinely refreshing where stories like these are concerned. he is a character i am grateful for. he is found in her eldest daughter’s room late at night after a long day. he worries about max, and doesn’t want her to stay out late, as it may affect her academics. it is powerful to only be asked to do well in school and nothing else. he then proceeds to speak about her mom, for the first time ever. he tells her how he met her mother, a petty thief from a world so different than what he had known. it must have been refreshing to not answer to familial demands, and be treated, and challenged as an equal. it must have been the newness of it all, but there was enough love between them for max to be given a place in the world.

verbal assurance matters. we tend to believe the effects of our life circumstances. we live by that belief until someone comes along and tells us that our minds are playing tricks on us. a definitive absolution and acceptance.

if he had only known, if he had only been told he says, he would have taken care of her, he would have loved her in an instant. his daughter would ask for nothing. the daughter assures her father everything is as it should be, if it wasn’t she wouldn’t be the brave, strong girl that she is. if it wasn’t, he would not be happy with the family he has now. elle, maxrill, and macy. macy, the present wife is a complicated character. macy, the wife that met the world’s standards is in earshot of the room where the conversation that matters is taking place. the door is open, almost giving her permission to listen in. and she does. and she breaks. and she’s a beautifully broken down human being. with wine and an embrace from her loyal but just as hurt daughter, macy attempts to collect pieces of her dignity and bravely keeps it together. i felt that. i felt issa and melizza who both impress every episode. it’s one of the most beautiful moments in the entire series. there’s more story to be told there. stories of mothers and daughters and girls and women and their plight, what hey have to endure, a respected place in the world, for acceptance, for love. goodness, for love. (reason number 345554345678844 for season 2 please and thank you! XD)

back at benison, teams max and deib are still reeling from their rift a plan of action - taguro and sensui together again. it’s the most sincere, funniest, most kilig version of of modern pass the message ever played that involved both friend groups. it gave us jealous deib, triggered max, and kilig tochiko and it got tagsen to crack. it also gave us a cast who has mastered the art of perfect timing with each other.

the mean girls are meaner than ever. elle, is in understandable pain. her own, and as an advocate for her mother. it’s aimee’s pride that is severely offended. she is  barely hanging on to her place in benison’s social hierarchy and jostling for deib’s attention. the key to both injuries is max’s removal from campus. a plan is hatched: hurt the girl, and  convince the queen bee whose name was once never dared to be spoken of to take up her place in benison again.

en route to the lockers, driven by a pang of jealousy, triggered by max's one word conformation, deib is eager to patch things up with the girl. unbeknownst to him, the girl in question is being followed through the hallways. the assailant got to the lockers, to max before deib ever did. max fought back just like she promised her dad, except, she doesn't win every fight. and this is one of her unlucky nights. deb found unconscious max sprawled across the hallway. in a fit of panic, and urgency to save her, in that moment, all bets, competition, tension and cold wars are off. deib carries max his arms to safety.

she wakes up in a hospital bed surrounded by her friends, her teacher, her parents, dazed and confused, not knowing how she got there in the first place. her doctor explains she suffered a head trauma, good thing her friend found her and brought her to the hospital. said friend in question sits quietly by her bedside. a ghost of a grateful smile appears on her lips, as she catches the glimmer of satisfaction in his eyes. for a moment, she basks in being the hero of the day. she basks in being her hero.

upon further questioning, it is determined that she does not remember anything. max’s dad wants to have the case investigated. the hero of the day. he introduces himself as deib lhor enrile. the father who is meeting the boy for the first time has heard about him. heroic acts lose their value for people whose unfaltering reputation precedes them. it’s going to be an uphill battle for thee girl’s affections, and her father’s approval. this is just the starting point.

max’s classmates wait patiently outside her room. the conversation of choice is max and elle’s family set up, initially a little less discreet until the chatter caught elle’s ire. they had no idea of the ties that bind the two girls. that is until deib chimes in. family is important to max and elle, he says, much to everyone’s surprise. 

how could he ever know? this is the same question i had regarding episode five. i was reminded that i had tweeted my confusion about max’s sudden outburst and max and deib’s ensuing confrontation. while we understand friendship fights, max and deib’s just seemed a little to unwarranted, and a little to personal. we get a flashback of max in deib’s room, talking about family sealed with pinky promises, vouched for by an elementary school award in trustworthiness.

i cried. that broke me. butterflies for kilig are fine, but the older you get the more conversation matters. the desire to be seen, to have others be witness to your existence, to validate your journey. the older you get. the small acts of kindness make up grand love. now we understand.

back at the hospital, everything is going well with max’s family unit, which includes macy and elle. she is about to rest when she gets a call from her uncle and grandmother. aside from max, her lola and tito get to speak to maxim too. they get to thank max’s dad for sponsoring her grandmother’s medicines. striking is macy’s reaction to her husband’s helping hand, then we are reminded that she did not know how to feel about her husband’s act of charity. it’s a small thing, but this show wins with their attention to detail.

max becomes her old, spunky mindoro self. brave, astig, angas. all in front of the new family who despite trying, despite the love, she has been tiptoeing around. they saw her loud and strong, even deib did, and for some that whole picture broke me. there is something so sad, yet so victorious about instinctively letting people, especially those you’ve been impossibly proper around, see who you truly are. in some ways it’s also a slap in their faces, a wake up call to allow people to be who they truly are. thank you for that moment.

on a moment of authenticity is where this episode ends. a moment of peace, tentative. consider this the first dig in a deeper excavation of character and history that will make up this love story. i remember tagging this episode six and episode seven twin episodes. i might be a week late but i am excited to revisit that. 

just infinite amounts of gratitude for this show, and it’s substance, and its heart, and boundless love for the kids, the cast of characters who are all special, who all have my heart. just for giving me something to write, and keeping me sane, i owe this show a lot.

 love and gratitude.

[survivormetaverse]

Episode 13 - "I'm on the side with the biggest threats to win this game" ~Josh

This last round went well!! We got Jay out (rip Corn Tribe💔 tho fr fr it died shortly after merge probs) and I'm still in the game :D We love to see an actual numbers majority now bless 🙏🏽 I hope I go soon 😅 Ingary my beloved is suffering a bit (ty/sorry Dyl 💖) I can't see that happening though bc Colin seems to find me and Amy as his best allies and would use his idol on us so RIP me tbh, typical that the game I'd like to lose earlyish in is the one I go to FTC 😂 tho if I went with Amy and Colin I do think one of them would win (with the double agenting and chaos idle-ing and they're both p social), I'm just good at taking the information we have and planning to ensure we have the best possible outcomes at tribal (which is SO much easier now that we have a numbers majority My Gosh!!!). I love sudoku puzzles but the thing is I'm used to playing on apps or online where it's easier to play kinda methodically, also the height of my sudoku phase was like, last year where I could complete an easy one avg. 10 minutes best time 7 minutes, these two with my 10% DA took 50 minutes, so take off 10% and it's 45 minutes, divide by two and it took me 22.5 minutes per puzzle. Yeah no I don't think I'm gonna win 😂😂 oh well, thanks Raf for letting me do them tonight though, you probably wanted to get to bed but tomorrow I have work and then my driver's license exam (!!!) and then movie night so I really don't have time to 😅😅 but hey! I dont have a second part to that✨ Time isn't real so wish me luck on my driving test now retroactively so that the positive vibes flowing backward through chronos (aka "linear" time) will ensure that when you read this I will already have my license���️. xoxo, gossip girl

honestly having more numbers done for you in a sudoku puzzle is just making me more confused

math challenges during pride month is pure homophobia

Congrats to jared for guaranteeing himself f5 for winning today 😭 and here I thought I did well with 40 minutes. I don't think he would play his idol on jodi but I don't know with this invisible round. Apparently Jodi is telling people I have the idol from phantom aka the one colin has, which is a problem if they are trying to flush it. I guess I'm a threat even though probably only dennis in the jury isn'taf at me lol. Colin has an idea to get votes on him then idol and us two vote Josh out but I really think they are going to be voting me based on how quiet it is and how many other alliances there are lol. There's the three with Josh and Jared and Colin because Josh doesn't want me at the end. See I knew he didn't like me lol. So I'm here trying to think of I need to play something or give it away and be voted out lol or just keep it and be out. My thought was to use the steal a vote so then no one would know it was me who had it but I kind of think I might need that next round of say jodi wins then jared idols. At f5 it could be me colin and jared all idoling if none of us make a move lol. Anyway I think I'm on shaky ground this go and idk why haha I'm there are much bigger threats that a no social person who flipped and wasn't even bonded with the jury lol. Here's hoping colin elle and I stay strong. And I can get second to colin. That would be fun lol but lots of game left. And I'm still at disney. This is going to be a stressful day.

I hate invisible rounds. too much is going on. and literally no one is online to talk it out personally, i want Josh out this round. I think if I wait until final 4 to cut him, he'd be bitter at me in particular. Plus, he's not in my endgame plans. I want to have an easy win, and that means putting Elle and Jared next to me in ftc. the most obvious thing to do is split between Jodi and Anastasia, and I think that's happening because it's simple and no one else is around to dispute it. Amy is still my closest ally and I can trust her, so I told her that I want to take out Josh. i don't think the two are close so it was easy to get her on board. There's an option of me ENSURING he goes by playing my idol for whoever Jared and Jodi is voting for, but I don't want to do that. so my plan is to also have Jodi vote Josh with us, so it's 3-3-1. Either Jared idols Jodi and Josh leaves, or it's a revote and Josh still leaves god I'm just so worried and nervous. If I were to get blindsided, this is the round to do it. but I don't see anyone stepping up to actually pull the trigger, except maybe Jodi. I wanna make it to the end so badly. i've been playing orgs for too damn long, I need a win. please please please let me survive this round

So I'm coming to the realization that at least 2 people on my side have idols and theres still a hidden steal a vote that Elle might have. So I'm on the side with the biggest threats to win this game so it's time to make a move. Jared said that he'll be willing to play his idol to save Jodi so that means that it's time to flush these idols out of the game. The plan is for 2 of us to vote for Colin and the other to vote either Elle or Amy. My original alliance is splitting vote between Jodi and Anastasia with me, Elle and Anastasia voting Jodi and Colin and Amy voting for Anastasia as our contingency plan. However, Jodi warned me that Colin was saying my name to her this morning so he might try to pull some snake shit. But im hopeful that Jared plays the idol for Jodi and somehow Colin doesn't play his so it'll be a tie between him and Anastasia.

So I have immunity and I have been a little inactive but its ok because Jodi has kept me up with whats going on. Jodi tells me that they are splitting the vote on me. Which is good because I am safe lol. Anyways but I talked to Colin and Amy and I wonder if they really do trust me now. I did vote with them twice. So I told them that I was scared that I was getting voted and they said they wouldnt vote me. So sweet. I also talked to Josh and all of them are saying Jodi to vote. But Jodi is getting an idol played on her Im pretty sure so unless one of them suspects that we are lying about Jared winning immunity, one of them is going home this round.

https://youtu.be/ebfzvSaWULY

Dear Colin: We do not want to vote you out. We simply want to flush your idol. I seriously hope you are still here after tonight. You know what? This round has been insane. I'm obviously on the bottom, ready to get voted out. I wanted immunity so bad. But instead of crying, I created a beautiful plan that I hope comes to fruition. Anastasia won immunity. My game move this round is multilayered. First step is to create immunity for 3 people: me, Anastasia, Jared. We told everybody that Jared had won immunity, and that he may or may not idol for me. This is perfect because if they vote for me, they'll have their votes negated, same with splitting them on Anastasia. They'll completely avoid voting for Jared to avoid their vote not being counted. Next step: flush idols. Josh approached me last night and he wanted to work with me and Jared to flush out idols from Elle, Amy, Colin. Originally before he even came to me, I had wanted to do a 2-2 on Amy and Colin and tell him it's between Elle and Amy, but he actually said that he wants to do a 1-1-1 on those 3 to guarantee either idols being flushed or we get our pick of who goes. Josh doesn't know that Anastasia is with us too, but it's sorted. Colin wants to vote out Josh here, but everybody wants to vote out me. He came to me and Jared to vote Josh, and hope that they (Colin, Amy, Josh, Elle, Anastasia) split the vote on me and Anastasia. However, since the split was (Elle, Josh, Anastasia) vote me, and (Colin, Amy) vote Anastasia, the vote split no longer works since Colin is voting for Josh and Amy wants to vote me. Essentially, it's a 4-3 Me to Josh in Colin's eyes, and he wants to get a vote thrown so that it could at least tie 3-3. Me, Jared, Anastasia have decided before even Colin and Josh approached us that we wanted to do a 2-1 on Colin and Amy or something, so the fact that Josh approached us is perfect. How are we countering advantages? 1. Idols Jared has one idol, and there's only 2 idols between Elle, Amy and Colin. By throwing votes on all 3, we either guarantee somebody flushes an idol, or we guarantee somebody gets idoled out 2. Floating advantage from hunt 5 From the wording, it's either an idol nullfier or steal a vote. I'm voting for Elle here just in case it's a steal a vote, so that at least Amy is still open for a revote in case Colin idols. (I'm hedging my bets that Elle has it not Amy) 3. Idol Nullifier In this case, I go if Colin idols, and I will just…not forgive Faffy for putting both a chaos idol and an idol nullifier in a game and those be the two ways I go. Let's just hope this isn't what hunt 5 is. The final plan should yield 2 votes Colin, 2 votes Jodi, 1 vote Josh, 1 vote Elle, 1 vote Amy. In a revote, we save Me > Josh > Elle > Amy > Colin. This vote is for the win. This will be my game winning move. Creating immunity for 3 people, flushing idols, picking who goes. Let's. Freaking Go. 

So idr what I said before but Anastasia suggested to Amy that we needed to split votes and wanted to split some on me LOL so now we're putting 3 on her, possibly 4 if Josh comes online in the next 9 minutes✨ Never a smart plan for the latest addition to suggest voting off older allies, but oh well. One day we'll work together well, Anastasia 💖 one day 😂 But anyway! I really hope Colin and Amy make it to FTC, rooting for them🥳

~~~

Edgic:

Power Rankings:

Jodi: Masterful plays and manipulations this round. Is getting her way. Best round of the game for her by far. The most impressive thing by far was giving three people immunity by a little lying.

Josh: The person who ratted out his side first. Made a huge move that might just save him. Taking out Colin here is perfect for him as it would give him a lot to say at FTC. He’s playing 3D chess while everyone else is playing checkers and Jodi is playing 6D chess. I think he will make it very far in this game even if people don’t necessarily want him at FTC.

Jared: Has the potential to do more. Just doing what Jodi tells him to do.

Anastasia: Playing the middle like a smooth criminal. She is letting others do her dirty work for her. She is using her ally in Jodi to have those connections outside her alliance. However, she is in danger of being seen as expendable very soon.

Colin: Is getting blindsided tonight. Power has gone to his head and has made him unable to perceive who is actually with him. Assumes people will just magically work with him. Too concerned with keeping his idol. He has become, in essence, the new Jodi.

Amy: Colin’s lackey. Has no idea what is going on and will probably continue to have no idea.

Elle: Completely out of the loop this round

So Jodi’s plan is currently to do a 2-1-1 between Colin, Amy, and Elle. Jodi, Jared, and Josh will each vote one of them. Then Anastasia will vote Colin. On the other side, Colin plans to vote Josh while Elle is voting Jodi because she’s being kept out of the loop by everyone. And Amy is at Disney World.

2 votes Colin

1 vote Josh

1 vote Elle

1 vote Amy

1 vote Jodi (nullified by Jared’s idol)

1 vote Anastasia (nullified by immunity)

[random-thoughts-collection]

The Shannara Chronicles | 2.04 Review

The Shannara Chronicles - Dweller

written by Elle Triedman, directed by James Marshall

The season continues to be good. The fourth episode gives us several parent-child relationships and all of them are interesting in their own ways. We get Mareth confronting Allanon, Lyria standing up to Tamlin, Wil dealing with the relationship to his dead father and Bandon remembering how his parents treated him. And the cinematography continues to be amazing.

Searching for the Sword of Shannara

Allanon’s and Mareth’s relationship doesn’t have the best start – at first Allanon doesn’t even believe that Mareth could be his daughter, and he also refuses to teach her. I think that last part is quite understandable given how his last student, Bandon, turned out, and how little Wil thinks of Allanon. After all of this Allanon probably doesn’t have much confidence in his ability to be anyone’s teacher or mentor. Mareth is visibly upset especially towards the end, when Allanon talks about Wil’s father, but tries to hide it by claiming she only needs a teacher, not a father. Her main reason is that she hurt someone before with her magic as she is unable to control it properly. A little nit-pick here: so far we have only heard about her not being able to control her magic, but we haven’t seen her losing control. She’s great with illusions, she was quite skilled with Allanon’s staff and her magical fire was quite impressive, too. So I’d like this show to actually show us Mareth losing control, because show, don’t tell works always better.

Wil definitively doesn’t have much luck with parents or father-like figures either. His father died when he was young, his mother is already dead, too, his uncle is currently kidnapped, and we saw what he thinks of Allanon in the third episode of this season. So is it any surprise that one of Wil’s worst moments involves his father beating him when he was a child? For years Wil didn’t even know the reason for his father’s behaviour. However, knowing about all that is connected to the Shannara bloodline now gives him a different perspective on his father’s fate and what his father tried to prevent to happen to him. It’s nice that Wil gets some kind of closure here. It’s really creepy though, that Shea’s body lies there completely intact.

During their way to Paranor and while searching for the Sword of Shannara, which was buried (more or less) with Shea, Allanon, Wil and Mareth also come across a creature called the Dweller. It’s some sort of spider with tentacles, and of course it makes Wil its first target. I was happy to see that Wil got out by himself and got to kill the Dweller, after Allanon and Mareth provided the needed distraction.  

Tamlin needs more friends

In the Kingdom of Leah Tamlin gets a surprise visit from Bandon. Apparently she once had business with the Warlock Lord and Bandon expects her to fulfil her turn of a bargain we don’t know much about yet. At the same time we know that Tamlin had business with The Crimson, but she can’t call on them now since King Ander found out about the betrayal of his general and their support for The Crimson. Her daughter also confronts her to inform her that she’s not willing to obey her anymore. Lyria warns her mother that she can’t count on her support if Lyria marries Ander. This leaves Tamlin with no real allies or friends in a time when she’s threatened by a possible rise of the Warlock Lord.

Ander and Lyria are quite open with each other on the other hand. Lyria confesses to Ander that she loves Eretria, which is overheard by Eretria and results in a sweet reunion of the two lovers and is a main reason why Lyria found the courage to stand up to her mother.

Ander however loses a lot this episode. After having lost his father an all of his siblings in the first season, he now learns that his oldest friend was smuggling weapons to The Crimson and also had killed the woman he loves. And if he’s going to marry Lyria for the sake of the alliance and the good of his kingdom, he’ll be married to a woman who doesn’t love him and whom he doesn’t love.

Good people

Bandon has kidnapped Uncle Flick but is rather lenient when it comes to guarding him. Flick is unharmed so far and can move freely, mostly because it would be useless to try to run away from Bandon. The two men discuss the nature of people: Flick has a generally positive view on the world, while Bandon’s view is understandably less positive. To show Flick what he means, Bandon takes him to the house where he grew up and where his parents kept him in chains and with a muzzle. This episode gives us a reminder where Bandon comes from and what his relationship to his parents were. Bandon and Flick have dinner with the family that lives in that house now, and the family turns out to be against magic. They make a few remarks against magic and especially some hurtful ones against the boys that used to live in this house, aka Bandon. In the end, Bandon snaps and kills the family’s son.

Unfortunately the family confirmed for Bandon what he accuses people to be, and thanks to his upbringing and the unfortunate events in season one with the Dagda Mor have let Bandon to embrace that negative view of the world and of himself. He’s doing evil things especially because everyone expects him to do evil things. The father of the family said before about the boys that lived in the house before: “Some people just come into the world damaged”, not knowing who he’s speaking to. So when Bandon is about to kill the son and his parents beg him to spare his life, Bandon answers “I'm afraid I can't. No! I was born damaged.”

Next: Paranor & Crimson

This week two episodes if The Shannara Chronicles will be release, and I can only hope that this doesn't mean the ratings are too bad for a renewal. There isn’t much to say about the content of the episodes yet, but from what the promo shows we’ll meet a young version of Shear Ohmsford, which I’m not really happy about, and a confrontation between Wil and Bandon, which I look very much forward to!

[twistednuns]

March 2019

ॐ नमः शिवाय oṃ namaḥ śivāya ♥ / reading a book about the background and effects of different asanas

Friday evening with Lena: Yuzu ramen at Takumi, watching Green Book at the City Kino near Sendlinger Tor. Getting my favourite mix of sweet and salty popcorn.

Still: Obsessively reading the Rivers of London series by Ben Aaronovitch. It's like one of those nasty TV series you just can't stop watching.

Noticing more visible veins and sinews on my body. Getting stronger and leaner! Yes! I can even see a little shadow where my ribcage is supposed to begin and my tissue is getting softer which means I'm losing fat and I can feel more muscles than before. Very rewarding.

Saturday lunch with Lena and her family. I hadn't seen her brother in maybe 10 years. My highlight: warm banana bread with slightly salty, thick caramel and homemade vanilla ice-cream.

Dressing up for the Of Sailors and Whales concert at Gasteig. I felt incredibly stylish in my outfit: mustard yellow headscarf, a side braid, oblong hoop earrings in rose gold, a green dress and coat, mint-blue purse, a dark plum-coloured lipstick, black tights and satin heels.

The PhysioFlow yoga teacher (Ulf, what a comical name) complimenting me on my perfect Viravadrasana pose because apparently I did the advanced version with my arms held up high over my head. Unfortunately my poses only look so good because of my hypermobility but the other day we started talking after class. He is such a nice and calm person. And married to a lady from my hometown. I love how he touches our faces, heads and shoulders in Savasana.

Thai massage. The best treat after messing up my neck with futile headstand experiments.

The perfect batch of smoky veggies in tomato sauce. Add a hand full of couscous and tiger beans and you'll feel full for hours.

A week-long holiday. Not leaving the bed after waking up, reading for one or two hours. Enjoying the morning light, having warm breakfast. Lena sending me a picture of a bunch of purple flowers she saw on one of her walks on Monday, telling me to enjoy my vacation.

Gorgeous yoga mats - I just ordered one with a gemstone design from Mala. // EDIT: It just didn't have enough grip for me so I had to send it back. Got a simple purple one from Jade Yoga instead. They're supposed to be the best.

Fried Tom Yum seaweed strips.

A dinner and movie date with Lena, Barbara and Maike. We watched Vice (2019), the movie about Dick Cheney. Quite uncomfortable. But I loved the scene with Alfred Molina.

Spending an afternoon with Franzi at Trachtenvogl. Pear juice spritzer. Decidedly non-vegan spinach dumplings. Stopping at &otherstories as usual, getting two beautiful bowls at Motel a Miio. Finding a purple edition of H.P.Lovecraft's ghost stories on top of a trash bin.

My mum visiting for the first time since I moved in. She helped me get rid of my old clothes and other miscellaneous items from the basement. Then we got a trunk full of flowers for my balcony and had dinner at VorOrt - vegan pizza and celeriac schnitzel. I got so many presents that day. A dark purple orchid with pointy blossoms, some books and a bottle of Jo Malone perfume. She also paid for some of my plants... It kinda felt like my birthday. Maybe she had a guilty conscience because my brother still keeps raiding the fridge at home? Anyway. It's funny that I can actually talk to her now that I'm older, have my own thing going on... and we have so much in common, I notice that all the time. Or interests and taste, habits. Could be worse though, she's an amazing woman.

Swiss cat ladders.

My first time at Boulderwelt! Frank finally took me with him and we spent two hours there, climbing up the yellow (me) and white (him) routes. I even dreamed about climbing up a tree that night and I could hardly move the next day. Hardcore sore muscles, oh boy.

Hanging out with Frank. Playing Scrabble. Acting really weird around someone who just gets it or isn't put off at the very least. Making gross jokes about guacamole-producing guys over burritos in Werksviertel.

Hanging out at bridal shops with Lena, making her put on gorgeous dresses.

The fresh spring green gradient you get on your cutting board when you're chopping up leek for a potato gratin.

Staring at a long-haired guy in a club for a pretty long while on a Friday evening because he was just that gorgeous. Then he suddenly showed up on the internet a few hours later an we have been talking ever since. Exciting! And yeah, I love good coindidences. I would have never mustered up the courage to talk to him that night.

The other day we saw a cat from our classroom window, casually walking down the stairs. And we had nothing better to do than running up there in middle of our English lesson to catch her. I guess I'm a quite easily distracted teacher.

Hand embroidery on linen. It's baby bonnets, okay. But still super pretty.

This idea I had while in downward facing dog pose during one of my yoga classes. I really want to go to a yoga retreat in the summer. Either in Bali or, even more exciting, an ashram in India. I'd also visit Nepal or Bhutan while I'm there.

Aidy Bryant. She's my gorgeous heroine. I loved watching the first season of Shrill.

Alpro cherry soy yoghurt.

New earrings from &otherstories and COS. And a new hair ribbon, too. Can't help it. Building my collections.

That whole Margo-banging-Josh-situation on The Magicians? I'm into that. And when she was tripping on lizard and saw Eliot in a python trenchcoat performing the Pretenders' "Don't Get Me Wrong"? The 80s choir they formed in the desert? So amusing. Seriously, this is one of the few shows which is absolutely not afraid of weird shit and doesn't take its writing too seriously. I don't entirely get it and it doesn't have anything to do with Lev Grossman's books anymore but I'm so grateful it exists. And I'm always down for a good musical episode (see: Once More with Feeling a.k.a. the single best Buffy episode ever made).

Finding the most incredible reed green silk dress at Hallhuber one afternoon after seeing a dermatologist in the city. Unfortunately even my ribcage is too wide for its narrow cut but perhaps I can convince Lena to buy it for the summer.

New idea: should I ever get a cat I want to name it Miso.

Seeing the first butterfly (European peacock) of the year enjoying the sunshine while sitting on my pink hyacinth.

After more than 20 years I accidentally found out that one of my favourite songs from the ZDF Christmas series Anna is in fact a Queen song! I'm also pretty sure that my taste in men, my "type", was significantly affected by João Ramos who played the role of the dancer Jacob. Swoon!

Using a sheep skin as a pillow. Oddly comforting. I was reading a book about the sense of touch when I noticed this connection. I also learned that most people prefer firm hugs and massages over soft strokes. Apparently gentle touching reminds some of insect's feet but it seems to be a matter of personal preference.

The crispy greasiness of butter croissants.

Finding out about banana twins (two fruits in one peel).

Enjoying a nice, sunny Sunday. Cycling over to Westpark and playing badminton with Frank in the middle of hundreds of families having picnics. Clumsy yoga poses on a towel. A little boy telling me that his penis was more important than my face when he hit me with a football. But to be fair, I made him choose. I even went to the gym afterwards, doing my strength routine and an hour-long spine workout. I was pretty exhausted that evening and made a delicious dinner with ratatouille, soy "meat", olives and capers, whole-wheat pasta and pine nuts.

Breaking news: my body contains over 66kg of muscle mass! Am I a superhero or what? (Well, also 36% body fat, gotta work on that...)

Giving the avocado seeds a new home. I've given them a large pot now so each time I eat an avocado a new member can join the gang.

Spending most of the week with my favourite colleague, espectially on Girls'/Boys' day duty: I liked meeting at the fire brigade in the morning, getting to know a firewoman, making one of my students climb up the pole at the station. Walking over Viktualienmarkt and Gärtnerplatz, getting some fresh juice, talking all the time. We visited an old folk's home, a garden center, a vet and an architect's studio. So much better than being stuck at school until 4pm.

Pancakes with mushroom filling. Strawberries with coconut cream. Delicious.

Finally performing a Nina Hagen Song on karaoke night. And Elle King's Ex's & Oh's which made Carlos, the Spanish guy, think of old ex-girlfriend trauma.

Uhm. I read 21 books this month. Wow? To be fair, I spent most of my weekends in bed with a stack of books next to me. I'm kinda hoping to read less in April - but since I'll be in Canada for two weeks this will probably not be an issue anyway.

My breakfasts keep me healthy, I really believe that. Extremely tasty and full of good nutrients. Latest addition: strawberries and pumpkin seeds.

Spending the whole afternoon with Anika in my kitchen, making vegan macarons. I almost couldn't believe it but chickpea liquid works just as well as eggwhites! And we came up with pretty good fillings: lemon buttercream, chocolate-raspberry and banana-peanut butter. Nom. Now they're sitting in my fridge, tempting me to eat them. Sigh.

Going to the gym after a week-long hiatus. Breaking the spell, you know?

[stillthewordgirl]

Fic: Triangles (Ch. 1)

After the Oculus exploded, the spark that is Leonard Snart was sent hurtling through time and space. His latest destination: The waters of the Bermuda Triangle in 1939. And a luxury liner called the Queen Anne...<br /> (A sort-of crossover between Legends of Tomorrow and The X-Files episode "Triangle." Mostly Snart POV.)

My first major fandom, back in the day, was for "The X-Files." And one of my favorite episodes is the sixth-season episode "Triangle."

And a while back, not too long after the "Legends of Tomorrow" episode "Destiny," I thought: "What if..."

This may be a bit odd, but it was a real labor of love. Many thanks to @larielromeniel and @pir8grl for looking it over from different angles. I really appreciate it.

I hope this is something both Legends and X-Files fans can enjoy, although I'll tell you going in that it's mostly Legends (and time-hopping Snart POV). Note: "Triangle" and "The X-Files" are on U.S. Netflix, if you're so inclined. I tried to put lots of Easter eggs in while still making sure it made sense if you've never seen the show or the episode.)

Can also be read here at AO3 or here at FF.net.

xxxxxxxxxx

"There are no strings on me."

But there are. The ones he's tied himself. The ones other people have tied to him. Lisa. Mick. Sara. Even the other members of this godforsaken team. He cares. He hates it sometimes, but he cares.

And when the Oculus blows, sending the spark that is Leonard Snart hurtling through time and space, those strings remain.

Something takes advantage of them.

He's not sure how long he's been in the water before someone on the luxury liner—the Queen Anne--sees him. Long enough to be chilled clear through and exhausted, though not so exhausted he can't grab on when the life preserver, its white shape clear in the darkness, spins through the night to land a few feet away.

"Oi! Grab hold, mate!"

He does. He winds his arms around the white shape and holds on for dear life. It's unnerving as hell when it, and he, start to rise into the air, as well as dizzying, and he closes his eyes for a moment, trying to settle his stomach.

He has no idea where he is now. When he is now. Who he's going to see, or how he's going to see them.

It's not the first time. He's not even sure how many times it's been, how many times he's landed in. How many times he's seen her, in so many different incarnations. Sometimes the others too, but always…her.

"Hang on, mate!" With a lurch, he and the life preserver crash into and over the ship's railing, and he tumbles onto the deck and immediately scrambles to hands and knees, pausing for a second as the scene reels around him.

"Oi, give it a second there, man." The speaker moves closer. "Huh. That's not a uniform. Name?"

Slowly, things stop spinning. "Michael," he says, grasping for a name. "Michael…Lance."

"Well, there, Mikey, how the 'ell you get out here?" The first rescuer prods him with a toe, and the rescued man—one Leonard Snart—peers up at him, noting the uniform, and the British accent, and the suspicion.

"I don't remember," he says shortly. Pretending amnesia, he's found, is usually better in these cases than trying to make up details when he doesn't have a clear idea when or where he is. "Just my name. I don't remember."

"Huh." A considering silence. The second sailor, silent until now, moves up on his other side.

"Fellows on the other side pulled a bloke out too," he comments. "All the Jerries goin' swimming tonight?

"Pretty sure this 'un's not a Jerry. My sister has a friend…that's an American accent, that is."

"A Yank? But what's he doin' here?"

"That's something fer the captain, I think."

The door to the captain's quarters is closed and locked. From inside, though, comes the familiar sound of a beating being administered. The two sailors look at each other, then at Leonard.

He ignores them, making note of the name on the door plaque. Y. Harburg. Unfamiliar. He half-expected it to be…

"First Mate Hunter!"

And there it is. He turns as the sailors straighten, sighing a little as he sees the bearded face of the Time Master eyeing him from above the neat uniform.

"Hey, Rip," he says with resignation. "Don't suppose you remember me?"

The man's eyes widen at the name, then narrow. One of the sailors snickers, then straightens again as the red-haired man glares at him.

"Report!" Rip's doppelganger barks at him, still watching Snart.

"Yes, sir! We found this 'un off starboard, just floatin'. American. Says he doesn't remember how he got there. And we heard they found another 'un, so we thought…"

The indistinct sound of a raised voice from within the captain's quarters. All four men look at the door. Then the sailors look at each other again. Rip…First Mate Hunter…looks back at Leonard, frowning.

"American," he says thoughtfully, his accent stronger than the crook had remembered. "No friend of the Nazis? Even if your country stays neutral…so far?"

Ah ha. Well, at least that helps pin the timeframe down. He can't resist. "I hate those guys," he quips, shaking his head when the quote doesn't get a reaction. "And where's Raymond when you need him?"

Hunter frowns. "Raymond? Palmer? How do you…?" But he bites the words off with a shake of his head. "Bloody hell. As if we needed more complications." He looks at the sailors. "Back to your posts, boys. I'll take this one. And take care...there's trouble afoot."

The men look all too willing to leave. Rip watches them go, then looks back at Leonard.

"If you're part of this," he says in a low voice, "keep your head down, man. Too many players on the field. Might be a good thing, though, to have a hidden card, so..."

As another man approaches, Hunter jerks his chin at the shadows and Leonard doesn't hesitate, fading into them with alacrity.

What do you know...Hunter actually has some sense here...He frowns, shivering a little in his sodden clothing. Though it'd be nice to know what "this" is...

The two men have a quick, whispered conference, and Hunter steps back, waving the other man toward the captain's door and, with another glance toward Leonard, heads purposefully down the hallway in the opposite direction.

The other man approaches the captain's door, though, and the man in the shadows moves closer to listen as he knocks, opens it and goes through.

"Excuse me, captain," he hears. "Sir, the Germans, sir. They've taken control of the bridge. Steering a course for their homeland."

Shit.

"Not on the watch of captain Yip Harburg, they're not. Lock the prisoner up in here."

Leonard takes another step backward. "Yip Harburg?" he mutters to himself. "Seriously? Makes 'Rip Hunter' sound good."

So great is his indignation over that ridiculous name…and his concern over making sure neither the captain nor the mob of sailors exiting the room see him…that he nearly misses the cheerful male voice still coming from inside the room.

"It's OK! The war's over," it calls. "Let them take you to Germany. They make nice cars!"

But the door closes, cutting the other man off, and Leonard turns away, although he can't help wondering, briefly, if the cheerful man is just mad—or if he could possibly have some sort of reason to assure the captain that the war—World War II, clearly, in its earlier days given the captain and the Rip doppelganger's words-is over.

Another time-lost wanderer? He shrugs uncomfortably. He's not looking for a team-up. All he wants is to find…

But there's another man approaching now, a young man in a uniform that years of reading and documentaries give him an immediate visceral and negative reaction to.

Nazi.

"Hallo? Sind Sie da drinnen?" the newcomer calls as he rattles the door. "Hallo? Ist da jemand?"

Leonard's just trying to decide if the prospect of clean, warm clothing is enough to overcome that visceral reaction when the man actually pulls out a key and unlocks the door, slipping into the dark room.

Moments later, the clear sounds of a fight emerge, over the sound of...music? Impossible to tell who's winning, the Nazi or the man who'd been locked in, but in another moment or two, all is silence. Someone's down.

Leonard hesitates...and then against his better judgment, he goes to check things out

Another man, brown haired and maybe a trifle younger than him, pauses in the middle of taking a jacket off the unconscious man on the floor—the Nazi. The victor, evidently smarter and tougher than he looks or sounds, gives him a thorough once-over.

And Leonard knows that look. Fed. Fuckin' fantastic.

"Hey!" the Fed blurts out. "You're not from here either, are you? Or…" A glance around him. "…uh. Here. 1939."

The crook blinks at him. "No," he fires back, the word startled out of him. "I'm not." Then, muttered, "Damn it." He turns aside and starts casting about the room for a change of clothes, just something dry and not so distinctly out of time.

The next room in the suite seems to be actual quarters. And... ahha... a closet that mostly includes uniforms, but at the back a rather nice tux. He grabs it, turning away to come face to face with the eager Fed once more.

"Are you from 1998 too?" the man asks hopefully, sticking his hand out. "Fox Mulder, Federal Bureau of Investigation. Anyone going to be looking for you? Because this is incredible and all, but I'd like to get home, and the only people who know I was sort of snooping around in the Bermuda Triangle... well, I don't know if anyone's going to listen to them..."

Fox? What is it with the names here? The enthusiasm reminds him of Raymond. And damned if he'd forgotten just how exhausting that can be.

"Bit later than that, actually," he says tersely, taking a step back and shutting the door in the man's face. "And no, probably not."

Captain Yip is tall, which is good, but the tux is just a bit too big. A belt helps. He regards his leather jacket with a sigh, but reluctantly drops it on the floor. It's almost certainly going to be back in the next place he lands, anyway. It's always been back before.

Time after time after time.

Yorktown 1781. Andersonville 1864. London 1940. Central City 1957. Nickel City 1977. Gotham 1989. Tōhoku 2011.

He drops in. He finds the familiar faces, caught up in the events of their time. He saves them. He moves on. He never gets more.

They never know who he is, and he wonders, at this point, if he's just superimposing the faces of the familiar, the... the cared for... over those of random strangers in need. There's always a Sara. There's often a Mick. Sometimes a Ray, a Stein, a Jax, even a Rip or Kendra. Twice, a Lisa, and once, memorably, a Barry Allen.

Punishment for his sins? Who knows. But he'd tried to resist once, and it'd only lasted as long as the first strangled scream of a Sara doppelganger as the water closed over her head...

He takes a deep breath and opens the door.

The Fed—Mulder-has taken the time to change into the Nazi uniform, but he straightens, turning the hat in his hands, when Leonard opens the door. And he's apparently completely ready to resume the conversation.

"Later?" he says. "Like, the future? You're from the future? When? Because do I have some questions I'd like to ask you..."

"Not happening," Leonard informs him, heading for the door again. "Could fuck the timeline. You understand."

"Yeah, but..."

"Leave it, Fox." Reaching the door, he pauses and nods toward the hall. "Go on. You stay with me, all they're going to do is figure out something's weird faster than they would already. And there's nothing I can do to help you."

The other man gives him a wounded look, clearly disinclined to let go of this particular bone. But at Leonard's continued glare, he eventually shrugs and steps out into the hallway, walking quickly to the left while tugging the hat onto his head.

There's one nuisance out of the way. Leonard sighs, then prepares to head in the other direction... until he hears the voices.

"He, hast du was gefunden?" the first one calls, coming from his left. "Bleib doch stehen! Hörst du nicht?"

The Fed keeps walking, then breaks into a jog. The voices gain urgency and their owners pick up the pace, running past him in pursuit of the other man. Leonard steps out into the hallway himself, turning to the right and walking briskly away. No one notices him, but the pursuit in the other direction grows louder.

"Umdrehen! Hast du was gefunden? Warten Sie Mal!" Anger, now. "Halt, stehen bleiben! Warten Sie! Maenner, kommt rueber! Wo kann er deen sein."

Nazis...

His steps slow. And he stops.

The other man had been a nuisance. A distraction from what he's probably here to accomplish, the people he's meant to find. But...

Nazis...

"Halt!" The yelling continues. "Mach Schnell! Da rechts! Da rechts! Da rechts!"

I can't believe I'm doing this.

Leonard sighs, turns in his tracks and starts following the Fed and the Nazis, tracking them down the hall, keeping just enough distance for plausible deniability. As if that will matter.

Hallway after hallway, zigging, zagging, and he picks up the pace as the noises get farther ahead of him. He makes a sudden turn, ducks through a curtain…and then, the hallway has widened into a room, a big one, and he slows to a stop to take in the ballroom, full of people and music and, somewhere, annoyingly enthusiastic Feds who are oddly unfazed by the notion of time travel….and persistent Nazis.

He changes his pace to a casual amble as he moves through the crowd, glad for the tux that is such effective camouflage here. And as he moves, he casts about not only for the Fed and his pursuers, but anyone he recognizes, Mick, Raymond, Kendra...

Sara.

She's standing off to the side, on the side of the room away from the stage, apparently solitary and wearing a shimmering ice-blue dress with a considerable amount of cleavage and a white, feathery-looking stole over the top of it. Her blond hair is swept up, and her eyes are cold as she watches the ballroom, especially...

He'd like to keep watching her; hell, he'd like to stare at her forever, but he turns, tracking her gaze.

And there's Stein, the older man in a tux of his own, standing by the wall and nodding his head a little in time to the music. Jax, also in a tux and looking a bit out of place, is standing just behind him, frowning, and on the other side... there's Raymond, craning to see over the crowd to what's going on near the stage.

"Hier ist der mann, den sie vollen!"

The Fed had apparently dodged the Nazis... but instead of keeping his head down, he's been bothering a redheaded woman — and he's been noticed. The main singer points down at him imperiously, and the Germans converge. One fires a gun into the air, and a few women shriek.

Of all the stupid… Leonard glances back at Sara, who's still watching the others. (Raymond has moved to stand between the other two and the hubbub, almost shielding them. And isn't that interesting.)

Oh, he knows that expression of chilly focus. This is a Sara who is pointed at a target. Is this woman part of the League? That's not a bet he'll take. But which one of them is the target, and why, he has no idea.

The Nazis have the Fed—Mulder—and they're dragging him from the room. But the man's still struggling, still yelling, more nerve than sense.

"You're all big men now, but wait until you get into Russia!" he yells as they pull him from the room. "Hope you fellas like the cold!"

That even sounds like something Raymond would say.

He needs time to think. He needs a few minutes. He needs...

The band starts playing "Jeepers Creepers" again, and unbelievably, many of the people in the ballroom resume dancing.

He needs an excuse to do what he'd wanted to do anyway.

He strolls over to her, and she obviously marks his approach but doesn't even look at him until he's right in front of her. And then he holds out a hand.

"May I have this dance?"

xxxxxxx

This will be three chapters and a short epilogue. It's complete and I'll have it all posted within the week.

[throwingideasatthewall]

Clone Wars       A Friend in Need

Well let’s see you at the main cast            who has friends?

    Obi-Wan           a “girlfriend,”.         and apparently no one else

     Anakin 

      Padme

         - Who          does have the one person who most prominently featured the word           “friend”

                -Clovis

   But he’s been gone           since..

     Ahsoka;   

I mean does         Barisse count

 Oh wait I forgot a CP3PO        and R2D2

  So our, candidates are generally down to,       Clovis, Barisse, the droids           (CP3PO & R2D2)                       Or an unknown character                      coming from under the table                          (Which is always                            on the table)

                   (Oh and Jar Jar Binks,  who I don’t think classifies as a        friend ?)

  Which is why none of the characters have it           “ In response”           (To quote)

          Oh

       Mandalore?

        O-             kay?             ...              A

         I’m not sure I get the        whole design    thing- 

   Still slightly nope-    about it         -      Con-tinuing          -            ?         -        Um        -      What?         -            Also   isn’t he supposed to be a       kid?

    Like           he was one of the better kid representations in the show  just barely scraping over the hump around that time..

    I’m taking a break from the live commentary         just to see how          this plays out;

   [Random stranger shows up without an invitation and irritates literally everyone yeah sure let them stay

     - no       invitation

    -no    explanation      needed-

   - Not         like           this         could            Quite-          literally            fu- 

         An-             Way,

         See,

Also,     Dear-    God      ,

  [Skip      button       used           at        nausuem]

      Yeah,  I couldn’t stand        that,

      [It just, didn’t-]

       ?

     They’re just escorting him back to his        ship

           ,right

    [Oh so yeah whatever happened to that kid considering his mother was dead and his father is informed to be dead,

         How is he               alive?

         [also I will give it that it is still staying within the margins of       reasonable          child behavior or just            decent enough that it stays under the radar,         Though it does get me nervous,

       [That or I’m just kind of numb to it,         Focus,]

    Also yeah       what was         expected to happen?              -

        -          Ok seriously       who gave the kid the order is though           (Okay who gave the kids the orders though because I’m               little sus.            Nothing serious        yet just a bit skittish,”

         Okay,

        Es-              Cape

          Oh gosh they’re doing the Boba Fett thing                  aren’t                    they?

            Sen-ator?

          Whoa, whoa                the fuck?                      .                   Dude                       is like 12.                     (16 maybe)

                    Like,                          No,

                     (Unless that was a bit      At his involvement in      politics,)

       Also what is up with his size when we last saw him he was a- l- significantly smaller and clearly a child

    [The scales          a little off       in that frame.

      Why,

       -

         X

       Whelp,     A war just broke out,               -           And Ahsoka       just dragged the Mandalorians           into a war,

        .

       Wha-

    (Also pardon     me but in the queen say something about        subtle ?)

      -          Whe-

     Co-rousant

     Also yeah the council is going to love that

       “ Hey cancel I found a separatist, can I keep it               ?”

            Re-               P-ublic.                 -                   Is he a spy?

          [Like yeah   admittedly that seems like a lot of work to go through,]

           Oh so yeah that was pretty good the expression,                 , stayed neutral and non-emotional

          Amen-               sty-

         W-ell

          That-      just came out of nowhere,

   .

   Pl-an

   Children don’t have plans,

   And adults don’t have         such un- even tone          -           -Gun

   Ah, you know literally nothing about him

   You had a five minute conversation while he just repeated        Pro-paganda,        And order        s-

   Talking points

     Also he’s a Sep-artist

   You don’t know he’s not a fighter        -         Well then you’ll      -starve-             -         The di-

       Okay seriously what was with that tone?

   Everything you’ve been through,

     Again, that’s teasing             If it’s             a child,

       And             adult?        (The context really         doesn’t support it)

        Okay, what is with the        eyes?

         Okay,            No,

         Children can’t do           outright emotion like that-               -                Certain things might cause an automated      reaction-               But       their face stays blank,                And, it doesn’t           reach their voice,

           Adults     well they have a lot even-er                  tone-

            They’re purposeful

             And this should have a lot more weight                 and the narr-a-tive treat them like equals

         [I’m            going               to               go                use                 the                 skip              button]

             cause       this is getting                    Hella                    quasi-

                Wait.

                 Okay...  

                 [Sk   ip]

       Like seriously this kid that should be dead like 50 things over because kids can only follow orders and at the mercy of adults

       If he’s an adult, A) Ahsoka may very well be an enabler,           And B) Narr-ative needs to get its tone right and treat them like      eq-uals

     Dude-            Movie          -          ?

    What?

   H-

   [I am at         6:30           Btw           (With the brief.            indication that he just knocked her out with some thing,)

            What??

[i’ve       talked       about         the         Evil          Child         trope;              it          needs            to          burn,]         Is-

        Mr.     Bontierre

       So yelling at an         in-nocent         child,

       Oh reasonable anger at                 a malicious adult,             (And an attack).           that likely could’ve been prevented,

           Be-cause yeah he stabbed her in the back

           But,

         (Malicious science is not something         I often            dabble in,)

           This works,

            W-

            Quasi my two least favorite things quasi      and the deathwatch,

          (I don’t even remember if there was a         con-           fron-          tation,              And they were assumed gone

       Or...

    Or, just a bunch of reenactors that like putting on their         helmets,

    (Or people with similar       helmet    designs,) 

    Like seriously that.          seemed very chill for people that have like this 

     blood vendetta against Jedi,

       -            Snoop

       How

     Where?

     Okay?

      Me

    Be-trothed

       Movie?

        What the fuck?

  [Like       ok just hold on a second though,

    That is a          child           [imp-       lied to be one the last time we saw this dude]

    -

    Either

       -         He’s not an         adult-

   As clear by the lack of        emotion(s)

      And just feckin everything

            Huh?

Okay,     no just no,

   “Old, “.         is more so the concern here,

   Like dude doesn’t talk            or act like an        adult..

    I-

    -

  Cele          brate  

(Are we sure these guys are deathwatch        they don’t seem to have the same          insignia,  or any            indication?

    Is every thug that hangs out in the woods          Wear         Ing            armor       deathwatch now?

    A-i

    Why, would he think that?

      A-g

   Ser-ious-ly that makes them no more assholes         than literally anyone else

      Like they’re not sentient,

      I’m more concerned with the asshole that program them to feel fear and general although human emotions

      Like if the practice robot I was            using         suddenly gave a scream of human like pain        I would stop immediately,

       Doesn’t matter if some asshole continue-d to             program it

             If there’s any indication,                  you stop

              Yeah you could say these guys are assholes              for practicing on it,

               (And yeah obviously don’t enable that shit,)

               Un-less,             it’s like an acting droid?

                 I don’t-

          Like don’t get me wrong the         “woman comment could’ve been kind of a dick move

        Actually, no          it totally was,           Because it was totally            un-wanted

          And                 No

      But.

   But literally everything else;

  Some reenacters just decided to set up in        a park, screw around with some effects droids,          And possibly            get drunk,             With one of them having a           history with Dooku

       (Like it’s one of the flaws with the Mandalorian arc            that I meant to bring up,                That it relies heavily on negative             ass-              ociation,  

             Aka, assuming that you assume the worst of a              situation,

             When in reality,                   no, people tend to be pretty positive and                assume    benefit of doubt,

               You’re really going to have to work at convincing me that these guys aren’t just your average brand of      asshol-ery             (Two/       Three               Times)

     Seriously,           Anakin, what the fuck

       (Or maybe just what the fuck at the scenario,

        Since Anakin probably didn’t know this would happen

          (Train-ed to detect distress in Ana-kin)

          And those guys didn’t know that it was trained to             detect distress...

           Still I really don’t like how they are por-tray-ing him as sentient in that moment

              (Semi-sentient)

               Also, how is he supposed to re-assemble anything he doesn’t really have arms

              Most of the things we’ve seen being able to be fixed by a        gear thing,

              And, yeah he can kind of pick up some things

            But I’m pretty sure this thing requires          bendable appendages,

           ?

         Okay, what’s with the hand maidens?

         When did deathwatch become         misogynistic?

        Also they’re adults,

        Kid-napp-               ed                -                 Ah, you’re still adults and could’ve you know stopped them at any             time,

          “Simple”

         No one’s less or more          intelligent than each other

          You both       produce the same amount of               energy-

          I’m really hoping they were going for simple as in they aren’t really interested in             materialistic                    .                     But the tone around these people leaves a lot to be                desired                       .                      and concerned about,

                 Trust easily

   Everyone         trusts easily       .          We’re humanity

     That’s kind of (our) thing,

     Making the world           a softer better              place.

         -

         Ah,

          ?.

          ?

          Ser-iously

    Also, wow is this several, miscommunications

     This is getting         pretty damn            boomer,

        Dead,

        -

        ?

      (Taken)

       They are people                not object           if they went          they went willingly

          (Assuming they are adults                 which is in                  worry-ing                    question,)

                 ?

                He                      re-

                  When they said         stole I thought they meant from like a village                     A few blocks over 

                  Like in the past,

                  But                      dude comes in like he just turned a corner,

                L-eave

    You can’t return            a fucking.         pe-rson,

    Oh that was nice-      though the tone awful-

   (But also still         you can’t return a person in like a              grocery bag

          O-i

        Bu-tchers

           Or this isn’t the   deathwatch          

          Or they are suffering from a serious bouts of         Clovis syndrome           (Or more so               reverse              Clovis              syndrome,                Like their actual first leader              whatever his name was,

            ?

           W-ell

           Ok, now that was just straight up murder

           Well,

         Dear fuck

        Also, this is why we assume accountability

       Also hey  that name after a very little       note,

       Great,

         Also his temperament seem to completely change,

        Went from prove yourself

         To ‘Welcome to the club buddy, ‘         with little regard,

         They kill people 

          fecking kills people

          Jedi-

           That was disgraceful

          Also I guess maybe he could’ve managed it if he fixed one thing at a time and I mean some of them had some functional with limbs and assumed fixed self capability

          -             Ai          Ght

        -

        “                ?

     Ok seriously what is with the          Tided up thing,

         Or literally,

           Ca                 -mp

          P-lease

          Honor

           He’s

            -  

         Jus-               tice

    Ok seriously what is with Ahsoka and       constantly getting her ass kicked,              And it’s portrayal as                 involuntary,

Seriously,         Hand to hand combat      shouldn’t be much of an issue for her          , either way-

  Well,     seriously     can’t she win a fight on her own-   ,merit

  Against a   boomer?

    ?

  So, they are tracked 

      Good

Why is she such an idiot this episode?

     Lux

Why is she so devastated?

  Why is he so   mature?

 Like either she should-

   Remove him from the bad situation being          an adult and         him a child

   -Who should have only orders and no initiative

  All she said was specked in adults decision and not be doing this,

  And the tone was down right      Con-    cerning-

    ?

  Ser-iously?

  No actually you were pretty un accountable for literally all the episode and then you somehow had to save her

     Be cause

   Pr-omise

  Oy, his tone needs to even        -er,

   *gag*

  Well that episode,

    Was disgusting,

     Downright                      Disturb-ing

         Due             To             It’s

        Lack of commitment to a           tone -           Going           quasi             During               a               romance

         With unfortunate implications either childify-ing an adult,               Over sexualizing a child,                Both of which                   aren’t a good look,

              On top of childify-                      ing an adult                      (woman)

*Believe      to be         accurate       identification               -                               (Several)

                        In                            Meta

   Using Quasi      tone, as        well as           Body    Lan-guage,         Portraying      No recognizable         emotion,         Befitting              of a         child              -            With the dialogue and plot generally indicating and supporting this disgusting and awful insinuation that any adult being is unable of holding them selves or others accountable, and is equal parts of       one (humanity)

               Or (complete)                        (Developed)                humanity in general

                              Coupled with slave     indications-                   (Bound       wrists)   Without the common decency of its     predecessor,         To acknowledge that          Ahsoka as an adult,           Shared no risk,        (And need not tole- rate.       outside of her own preference         and accountability)

     Showing no      self-awareness,

      And continuing the theme               into the chase                  scene              (Note you can have character      like such             play along with such scenario                   But it has to come with the              self-awareness said they are                   not in any danger                     (In universe)

   (Oh and a very forced and completely          Boomer message about not following the          crowd, that is terribly          botched, especially with what seems to be the positive influence              (Ahsoka)               Doing literally the exact thing,            Children not having the ability of              initiative,             And it not committing to adult)

     (And is essentially everything that I disliked about the Man-        dalorian arc;

                 The unaccountability          of the male leads,

                  With an extra bit of certain                         adult  childifi      -cation

                     And uncertain tone

                      (Which en-sures that if the disturbing and downright toxic message didn’t scare you off the complete lack of fun certainly will)

   (And   dis-   appointing)

                      and puts it right back to no live reactions

                      Because well this is essentially the bonus round of writer’s                          advice                          and                       “is it fun,”.                          There has to be some con-       sequence for submitting me to tox/                               Contin-uing to create                         tox long after it was excusable,

                      (Or had leniency,)

                      (Now having fully worn out as                           welcome

                                      Several episodes   -ago)

[haleyfury]

July was a weird month. It wasn’t bad in the least bit – I had plenty of days floating around the pool, I was finally able to hang out with friends from college whom I hadn’t seen since we left campus in March, went to the beach every week, celebrated one of my best friend’s 22nd birthday, AND got a new T-Swift album! At the same time, I was really busy with grad school this month, and I feel like my uncertainty for the rest of this year really set in.

I’m really content with the amount of books I read July, having read 14 in total! I feel like I’m really in my summer reading groove now – I find that I basically binge read 2-4 books every week between Thursday through Sunday! I read books that I LOVED this month, but I also had a few misses. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve read so many good books this year and a few that have become all-time favorites, but I don’t really have any big expectations for the second half of my 2020 reading year just because of the way life IRL is right now.

The Dare (Briar U #4) by Elle Kennedy | 4/5 Stars

The Dare was another fun installment in the Briar U series (review is coming in August!), but it wasn’t my absolute favorite in the series.

The Idea of You by Robinne Lee | 4.5

The Idea of You was so, so worth the read – if you need a scandalous romance this summer, pick this one up!

Playing with Matches by Hannah Orenstein | 5/5

I’ve been really excited to read Head Over Heels soon, so I figured I should try Hannah Orenstein’s debut, Playing with Matches, beforehand and I LOVED it!

Clap When You Land by Elizabeth Acevedo | 4/5

I’ve made it my mission to read all of Elizabeth Acevedo’s books this year, and I started with her latest release, Clap When You Land. It was such a unique story, and I loved Elizabeth Acevedo’s writing.

Have a Little Faith in Me by Sonia Hartl | 5/5

I want to put Have a Little Faith in Me in the hands of every reader looking for a summer camp read or YA book with tons of sex positivity and discussions.

From Sand and Ash by Amy Harmon | 4.5/5

Amy Harmon’s From Sand and Ash was such a unique historical fiction read set in Italy WWII, and it made me want to pick up more of Amy Harmon’s books.

Big Summer by Jennifer Weiner | 3/5

Unfortunately, Big Summer was one of the books that missed the mark for me this month. I definitely want to give another Jennifer Weiner book a try though – I’m thinking Mrs. Everything?

With the Fire on High by Elizabeth Acevedo | 5/5

With the Fire on High was beyond worth the hype! Again, Elizabeth Acevedo is such an incredible writer, and the book has such great representation and sheds light on an often untold story in YA contemporary.

Verity by Colleen Hoover | 4/5

I think I finally got back on the Colleen Hoover train this summer through Verity. It was such an interesting blend of romance and thriller that I hadn’t read before.

Get a Life, Chloe Brown by Talia Hibbert | 3/5

I wanted to LOVE Get a Life, Chloe Brown because so many readers have been loving the companion sequel, Take a Hint, Dani Brown, but I just wasn’t that engaged in the story and couldn’t connect to the writing style.

Unorthodox by Deborah Feldman | 5/5

I watched the Netflix adaptation of Unorthodox back in March and loved it, so I couldn’t wait to get my hands on the memoir – I think I was on my library’s digital holds list for almost two months. I devoured Unorthodox in less than two days, and I’m trying to get all my friends who have or haven’t watched the TV show to pick it up. Although I don’t read a ton of non-fiction, it’s easily one of the best memoirs I’ve ever read.

All Adults Here by Emma Straub | 5/5

I’m such a big fan of Emma Straub’s books, and I think her latest release, All Adults Here, might just be my favorite!

Exodus by Deborah Feldman | 4/5

Although there was a super long hold list for Unorthodox, Deborah Feldman’s follow-up, Exodus, had no wait list at all. Although I enjoyed Unorthodox way more, I thought Exodus was a really great portrayal of the author trying to learn more about her family and herself after leaving her religious community.

The Royal We by Heather Cocks & Jessica Morgan | 5/5 (reread)

I knew I had to reread The Royal We before picking up the sequel, The Heir Affair, and I loved this William and Kate-inspired contemporary even more this second time around.

I’m currently reading Anna K by Jenny Lee and I’m LOVING it! I’ve been in the mood for adult fiction lately (if you couldn’t tell), but I was finally able to get this book from my library and it couldn’t come at a more perfect time because its YA story has an adult fiction like writing style! I definitely see myself finishing it by the end of this weekend (or today if I push more homework aside, oops). I’m also currently read Of Curses and Kisses by Sandhya Menon…and I’m unfortunately thinking about DNF’ing this one. I’m still trying to hold on because I love Sandhya Menon’s other books so much and books about royals, but I just think this book isn’t for me. I haven’t picked it up since last week, and I know if I don’t pick it up by the end of the weekend, I likely won’t pick it up again.

The Babysitter’s Club (Netflix) – The Babysitter’s Club is literally everything I wanted in the Netflix adaptation of my childhood favorite series. It’s definitely geared towards a younger audience, but there was no cringe-ness whatsoever, and I loved the modern updates.

Special S1 (Netflix) – I watched Special for one of my grad school classes, but it quickly became one of my favorite shows I watched this summer! If you’re craving a comedy with short episodes, I can’t help but recommend this one!

Indian Matchmaking (Netflix) – I have a love-hate relationship with Netflix’s reality shows – some of them I’m absolutely obsessed with (I’ll be spending next Friday bingeing the new season of Selling Sunset ), but others I just can’t get into – but Indian Matchmaking was such a love for me!

The Kissing Booth 2 (Netflix) – I had some friends over this week for an outdoor movie night, and The Kissing Booth 2 was our movie of choice. I admit that I don’t remember the first film too well, but I think I liked this second installment better and I’m actually looking forward to the third movie!

Other things I watched: Hamilton (Disney+), Sleepless in Seattle (Netflix), Say Yes to the Dress S19 (TLC), #Anne Frank – Parallel Stories (Netflix), Outer Banks (Netflix)

Continued watching: Below Deck Mediterranean (Bravo), The West Wing (Netflix/NBC), Shtisel S2 (Netflix)

Reviews 

BEST YA SUMMER CAMP READ: Have a Little Faith in Me Review

FAVORITE YA ROM-COM: Today Tonight Tomorrow Review

LOVE & MATCHMAKING:Playing with Matches Review 

PERFECT SUMMER ROM-COM: 10 Things I Hate About Pinky Review

A 2020 YA FAVORITE: More Than Maybe Review

YA CONTEMPORARY & HISTORICAL FICTION: July 2020 Mini Reviews

MUST-READ LOVE STORY: The Idea of You Review

FUNNIEST ROM-COM: You Deserve Each Other Review

Other Bookish Fun

The Sullivan Sisters by Kathryn Ormsbee Review

Anticipated Releases Tag: 2020 Edition 

Favorite Books of 2020 So Far

July Library Book Haul

What did you read and watch in July? Anything that I mentioned? Share in the comments!

BEST READING MONTH OF 2020: July 2020 Wrap Up July was a weird month. It wasn’t bad in the least bit - I had plenty of days floating around the pool, I was finally able to hang out with friends from college whom I hadn’t seen since we left campus in March, went to the beach every week, celebrated one of my best friend’s 22nd birthday, AND got a new T-Swift album!