#also enjoy rare sketch post

[sketchyandsketches]

Not rendering these but I put some fits on Deno :)

[sn0wbat]

sparkle on, tiberius ✨

[vanessagillings]

I’m posting the ever-so-rare photo of myself alongside one of my characters based on my childhood because today is World Autism Acceptance Day, and I wanted to show my little corner of the internet who this particular autistic person is:  

I was officially diagnosed in February, at age 38 (I’m now 39). A lot of people thought I couldn’t be autistic.  Some people who know me in real life still don’t.  And until around 10 years ago, I didn’t think I could be either, because I was nothing like the stereotype media portrays. I was told that autistics lacked empathy (untrue), and never played make-believe (also often untrue) and only enjoyed STEM.  I was — and am — an empathetic artist -- and make believe?  I can spend days sketching finely bedecked bears brewing tea or carefully choosing the right words to weave tapestries of fiction — though perhaps my hyper focus was a bit of a red flag.  Even so, how could autism describe me?  I was a good student.  I got straight A's. I didn’t act out in class.  I can make eye contact…if I must.  And lots of girls hate having their hair brushed with an unholy passion, right?  Clearly I swim in sarcasm like a fish, so autism couldn't be why I was so anxious all the time, could it?

If someone had told me when I was younger what autism ACTUALLY is — instead of the nonsense I’d seen on screens — I would have seen myself in it.  I didn’t hear that autistics have sensory issues until I was in my mid-twenties, which is when I first began to really research autism symptoms, and I had almost all of them:  sensitivity to light, smells, fabrics, temperatures, textures, and certain touches, all of which make me feel anxious, I fidget (stim), I never know what the hell to do with my hands or where to look, I talk too little or too much, I have special interests, I have entire animated movies memorized shot-by-shot and can remember the first time and place I saw every movie I've ever seen but I often forget what I'm trying to say mid-sentence, I echo movies and tv shows (my husband and I have a whole repertoire of shared echolalias, making up about 20% of our conversations), I was in speech therapy as a kid, I have issues with dysnomia and verbal fluency, I toe-walk, I can't multitask to save my life, I like things just-so, I’m deeply introverted but not shy, I need to recover from all social interaction — even social interaction I enjoy — and I find stupid, every day things like grocery shopping, driving and making appointments overwhelming and intensely stressful, sometimes to the point where I struggle to speak.  It turns out, I am definitely autistic. My results weren't borderline. Not even close. And while these aren’t all of my challenges, and not everyone with these symptoms is autistic, it’s definitely something to look into if you present with all of these things at once. 

So why did it take me so long to get diagnosed? The same bias that exists in media threads through the medical community as well, and because I'm a woman who can discuss the weather while smiling on cue, few people thought I was worth looking into. Even after I was fairly certain I was autistic, receiving an official diagnosis in the US is unnecessarily difficult and expensive, and in my case, completely uncovered by my insurance.  It cost me over $4000, and I could only afford it because my husband makes more money than I do as a freelance illustrator — a job I fell into largely because it didn’t require in-person work; like many autists, I have been chronically underemployed and underpaid, in part due to physical illness in my twenties, which is a topic for another day.  But it shouldn’t be like this.  It shouldn’t be so hard for adults to receive diagnoses and it shouldn’t be so hard for people to see themselves in this condition to begin with due to misinformation and stereotypes. Like many issues in America, these barriers are even higher for marginalized groups with multiple intersectionalities. 

It’s commonly said that if you’ve met one autistic person, you’ve met one autistic person.  This is why it’s called a spectrum, not because there’s a linear progression of severity (someone who appears to have low support needs like myself might need more than it seems, and vice versa), but because every autistic person has their own strengths and weaknesses, challenges and experiences, opinions and needs.  No two people on the spectrum present in the same way.  And that’s a good thing!  No way of being autistic is inherently any better than any other, and even if someone on the spectrum struggles with things I don’t — or can do things I can’t — doesn’t make them more or less deserving of respect and human dignity.

But speaking solely for myself, the more I learn about autism, the happier I am to be autistic.  I struggle to find words and exert fine motor control, but my deep passion and fixation has made me good at art and storytelling anyway.  I find more joy watching dogs and studying leaf shapes on my walks than most people do in an entire day.  More often than not, the barriers I’ve faced weren’t due to my autism directly, but due to society being overly rigid about what it considers a valid way of existing.  My hope in writing this today is that maybe one person will realize that autism isn’t what they thought — and that being different is not the same as being less than. My hope with my fiction is to give autistic children mirrors with which to see themselves, and everyone else windows through which to see us as we actually are.

If you’re interested in learning more about autism or think you might be autistic, too, I recommend the Autism Self Advocacy Network  autisticadvocacy.org and the following books:

What I Mean When I Say I’m Autistic by Annie Kotowicz

We're Not Broken by Eric Garcia

Knowing Why edited by Elizabeth Bartmess

Unmasking Autism by Devon Price, PhD

Loud Hands edited by Julia Bascom

Neurotribes by Steve Silberman

(trigger warning: the last two contain quite a lot of upsetting material involving institutionalized child abuse, but I think it’s important for people to know how often autistic children were — and are — abused simply for being neurodivergent).

Thanks for reading 💛

[bixels]

What's K.O. CRISIS?

Hey all. Over the past couple months, I've gotten a lot of followers who probably don't know about my OCs and portfolio projects that I'm also working on, so I'm making a quick master-post for it!

K.O. CRISIS is a series of artwork––character designs, illustrations, sketches, and animations––inspired by late-90s/early-2000s anime and Y2K culture.

Set in an alternate-history Los Angeles in the year 2001, the story follows disabled Taiwanese-American Ashley Tang as she fights her way to the top of the bracket in the national augmented boxing championship.

As the youngest female fighter in the championship, she'll have to fight tooth-and-nail to defend her place amongst the heavy-weights. While her rare dual arm prosthetics help even the playing fields, it'll take more than brute strength to prove her worth.

But this isn't a story about an underdog triumphing against all odds. Throughout the story, Ashley will push herself to the limit for the sake of validating her existence under the grinding heel of the sports media machine, in a world that values disabled bodies more than their lives. As the championship rages on, one question seems to linger through the roar: Is Ash strong enough to win, or is she brave enough to quit?

Through the project, I'm hoping to explore representations of prosthetic-users in pop culture as "enhanced superheroes," as well as discussions of trans-humanism under medical capitalism, the fetishization of new technology, and the commodification of disabled people as entertainment.

Accompanying her journey include characters like Noora Balakrishnan, a local transfem prosthetics engineer who doubles as Ashley's ringside mechanical cutwoman.

The project is still in its early stages, especially since I sorta rebooted it earlier this year (meaning I'm no longer using past, outdated art for the project). If you enjoy it, you can find more artwork for the project under the #ko crisis tag!

[missshirophantom]

Yandere Alphabet Sebastian Solace

From the author: hello everyone. I apologize for the abrupt disappearance after the first posts. There was a lot of shit going on in real life. And now especially, especially when I almost had a panic attack. This post... a small attempt to somehow cope with all the emotional problems. Ahem, I apologize for the mistakes, because English is not my native language and I used a translator. Yes, and I just got over it now... Tears, that's it. If I feel better (and a positive reaction will be enough), then I will write a small sketch using this post.

Warning: dr#g use without consent, threat of broken bones, threat of bondage, slight isolation, hint of c#nnib#lism. If you are for the fact that yandere Sebastian is gentle or dark, then you are absolutely not here. The author does not approve of the above written in real life.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

— Due to so many years of literal torture and DNA implantation, Sebastian has forgotten how to show love and affection. At least, that's what many people imagine.

— Thanks to vague memories of his past, he often gives "gifts". These are usually very rare deceased marine life that he found while exploring the complex. Most often, he drags soft objects such as pillows and blankets to another person.

— It is worth considering that he will often be... Biting his beloved is not strong, of course, but deep enough and in prominent places so that the bite mark remains as long as possible.

— In rare moments, Sebastian can clamp his beloved with his tail and hands, preventing them from moving. Such moments last quite a long time — from several hours to even days. But don't be afraid, he will feed you.

— About feeding... Sometimes Sebastian intentionally brings dead marine life and forces the beloved to eat them raw, saying that he did not find a normal meal for you, and that's all he found, and there is no necessary equipment to cook.

— And I. Don't even think about giving up this "meal", because he can get very angry at you the longer and more persistently you refuse.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

— This case can be described as follows: rarely, but aptly.

— Sebastian hates people, especially getting dirty in their blood. But when the threat is directed either at him, or at the beloved, or at his refuge, then... Yes. It's better not to see it. In particular, you don't need to know where that poor guy's body goes next.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

— Despite his hatred of people, which he skillfully hides by contacting them in his store, especially if you are a person yourself, but in moments of his bad mood, Sebastian can mock you. Especially when you are trying to escape or are somehow stubborn, protesting against his actions and the like.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

— It all depends on how his beloved behaves. If they try to escape more than once, he will give them a "medicine" in order to keep them in a sluggish and weakened state in the shelter.

— Well, he also locks them in a shelter while he goes out to get supplies. For good behavior, they may not even tie you up and tie you to the railing of the stairs.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

— It's not much... It is difficult, especially when Sebastian vaguely remembers his life before his arrest and experiments.

— But if he is in a good mood, he can talk about his past. Especially about his cat, whom he misses.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

— Definitely an annoyance. And the stronger and longer the beloved resists, the stronger his irritation, turning into anger.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

— Sebastian does not consider this a game, even though he finds it funny to watch the escape attempts of the beloved and their plans for this. But still, he is serious that even for the sake of his "fun" he does not allow another to escape.

— So, yes. the DNA of the same white shark, which awakens in him the instincts of pleasure over the attempts of another to escape.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

— Oh, definitely quite strong and a decent dose of "medicine" if the beloved misbehaves for too long. Sebastian rarely uses physical punishments. Except when he is very, very driven. Then he will definitely break a couple of bones in his legs.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

— Sebastian just doesn't know. The arrest and experiments forced him to think about the present, not the future. Especially when there is a looming danger over him because of his mutations. And not only that.

— But somewhere in the tender moments with his beloved, he definitely thought about having a family with them. And also a safe place where they both don't need anything and no one bothers them.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

— As long as the other person does not speak directly and flirt, or God forbid, does not try to touch the other, then Sebastian is ready to be patient. And if any of this happens, he immediately throws this person out of his store and forbids him to come back. Believe me, this is the mildest thing he can do in bouts of jealousy.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

— Believe it or not, but it's pretty good, let it depend on the mood. Sebastian definitely likes to hold his beloved with his tail and sleep in this position, curled up in the "nest". Bite them, thereby marking them. As it was written above, he gives, albeit sometimes gloomy gifts: dead marine life, someone's bones. But it's definitely nice to get the same pillows and blankets from him. On particularly "lucky" days, he may even bring some simple puzzles, blank paper, and writing supplies. Or even the clean clothes of the employees! And also, as it was written, he definitely likes to watch the beloved eat the food he brought.

— However, do not try to annoy him in any way or, God forbid, make him angry. And even if nothing serious happens for the first time, it's better not to push your luck.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

— He will definitely compose a little poetry and read it to you. But mostly his love language, if you can call it that, is gifts, not particularly frequent physical contact, as well as... preening when Sebastian's mood is definitely high. He likes to mess with the hair of his beloved, untangling tangles with his claws and cleaning them from dirt. But it's definitely somehow caused by injected DNA and getting some instincts. Well, Sebastian can also be a good gentleman.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

— Yes. Quite a lot if you continue to test his patience.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

— It varies depending on how much his patience is exhausted. If he speaks from the most harmless to severe punishment, then it goes something like this: stronger and deeper bites that leave a scar; short-term deprivation of food; small doses of "medicine"; medium doses; a large dose; broken bones, usually legs.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

— Freedom, defined. Sebastian will definitely lock the beloved in the shelter while he goes on business. But even without that, he still has no intention of letting them out of his sight, especially when they are not the first to try to escape or behave badly.

— It will also definitely monitor your meals with extreme care and sleep patterns.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

— Surprisingly, he is quite patient. But even such patience has its limits.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

— Sebastian will refuse to believe that their beloved has died. By that time, he will have time to get very attached and it will be a blow to him. So be prepared for the fact that he will simply lose the remnants of his humanity and will babysit your body by locking himself in a shelter.

— Well, if it's an escape... It won't be difficult for him to find you. He knows this place like his own... "Five" fingers. Plus, his senses are highly developed, as are his newfound instincts.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

— Definitely not for both questions. And even if Sebastian hated people and if you are a person yourself, he will not let you go.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

— After the accusation that he did not commit, years of experimentation on him, torture, as well as the loss of some memories, you evoke in him... Something really different and new, amidst all this hatred and irritation. This feeling made him relax a little, feel the warmth in his chest and just made his barely controlled instincts calm down.

— You can say that he is really curious. Plus... Years of loneliness in this cruel situation are making themselves felt.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

— Definitely a confusion. Why do you want to come back at all? There, on the surface, you will find a much more cruel world than here, next to it. Yes, the conditions here are not so good, but it is much better than sitting behind bars in a dirty cell or, God forbid, being a test subject of these disgusting people.

— Despite the confusion, Sebastian understands these feelings. But he definitely didn't want to watch the situation worsen. He will definitely give you "medicines" to let you forget, but he will not work hard with it. After all, Sebastian does not want to be like the people who conducted experiments on him.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

— Not really.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

— It's definitely that Sebastian has become a monster, without a shred of humanity. Despite everything, he still misses the time when he was human, and these words will infuriate him. Plus, the same flashlight or flash in sensitive eyes. This disorients him for a few seconds.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

— Mentally? Not much. Physically? Quite a lot, and it depends on how much you've exhausted his patience.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

— It depends on a lot of things. From the time you are with him, situations have occurred, especially those related to your life. The longer you stay with him and the more situations there are related to your life, the more he will begin to take care of you. But as for the conquest, this is another story and much longer, because Sebastian lost that normal part of himself, acting on the basis of instincts and vague memories.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

— It depends on the situation.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

— Oh, Sebastian, which is a little surprising, will try to prevent this. He doesn't want a man like you to become even a little bit like him.

[ruksanada]

Enjoy the rare moment of me posting my sketches, I had also started a fic for this. I only got half way through Billy’s origin story though~

[dodge-ra]

I’ve been stuck in the Naruto (founders era mostly) fandom for some time now, and finally managed to throw something together to post. Enjoy some Tobirama and Hashirama sketches :) I gave Hashirama a little sprout on top of his head that changes based on his mood (it flowers when he’s excited, wilts when he’s sad or getting relentlessly bullied by the combined powers of Tobirama and Madara…). I just think it’s neat.

I love them both so much and reading fics where they’re in a healthy sibling relationship makes me irrationally happy (though they’re quite rare, since Hashirama is often portrayed as evil for some reason 😅 - no matter, I’ll still read them).

I also sketched them planting a tree together. In my mind, they’re planting it on the day of the official establishment of Konoha, so it will act as a reminder of peace for many years to come. It’s set in a world where nothing is wrong, Izuna is alive and well, Madara isn’t insane, Konoha is thriving (happy endingy FTW).

There’s a short rant beneath the cut, nothing important :)

I’ve been a bit under the weather lately. Thankfully, my final exams (the most difficult exams in my life) are behind me (I’m still waiting for the results, but I’m pretty sure I passed), but unfortunately, my portfolio for an art college I had applied to had been rejected. I’ve never liked my artstyle (and art in general), and the rejection hurt me more deeply than I thought it would. It fuels my insecurities about my art to the point where I was second-guessing if I should post these sketches or not. I’m constantly worried that they look fine to me, but horrible to others, but I managed to convince myself to post them nonetheless. No worries though, I plan on practicing more, now that I have more time. I’ll probably post more as well (no promises), and I also thought about writing a bit (fanfics). I’m excited to see where life takes me, since it kinda came crashing down on me in the past few days, but I’ll pull through, I’m sure. Thank you so much for reading and I hope you’re enjoying your day :)

[apple-salad]

Rose Ribbon Embroidery "Mini" Projects (for BABY NYFW) Part 2: Embroidered Bonnet

I decided semi-last minute to attend BABY's fashion show at NYFW!

BABY had mentioned in their NYFW brand description that their newest collection would be a return to their origins, as well as presenting archival items.

You have to dress to impress for NYFW, right? So of course, I had to pull out all the stops and wear my Rose Ribbon Embroidery.

Also at the last minute, I decided to make a few extra complementing items...

A matching RRE kumya JSK, and a bonnet.

What follows is more of a sew-along/journal rather than a tutorial or guide, mainly for my own memory's sake. But if you enjoy looking at my process (sometimes sloppy), I'm happy!

Also feel free to take a look at the more romantic process video I edited.

Part 1: Kumya JSK

Part 2: Bonnet (you are here)

This post will be my process pictures and notes for the bonnet, as well as a matching mask as a bonus.

I don't believe BABY released matching headwear for Rose Ribbon Embroidery, although I've seen an unknown velveteen headbow with rose lace sold with RRE before.

BABY usually coords RRE with the bunny ear bonnet since Ichigo wears it this way in Kamikaze Girls.

I do own this because I wanted to wear an Ichigo-like outfit at some point, but for this occasion I decided to do something different and make a "matching" embroidered bonnet.

I originally wanted to make a hard bonnet with a very defined brim that could show off the embroidery clearly as I don't really like soft bonnets, but when looking at existing BABY bonnets as a reference, it doesn't look like hard bonnets were a thing back in 2004 (and as it is, BABY rarely releases hard bonnets). So to keep with the oldschool theme, the bonnet is a soft one, although I later make some decisions to make it slightly more structured.

The next decision to make was full bonnet vs half bonnet. The bunny ear bonnet is a full bonnet and I think this is technically more "period accurate", but I am not a fan of how they look like a weird hood from the back so I opted for half (plus, that makes construction and patterning easier for me).

I still used my own bunny ear bonnet as a reference for approximate brim dimensions!

The kumya JSK was a little easier to carelessly sketch out and embroider since I was copying 1:1 from an existing design, but I felt I needed to do at least a bit more careful planning for the embroidery on this. I'm quite bad at creating embroidery designs from scratch, but with the mental image of the rose clusters and swags of vine, as well as referencing the embroidery from the film, I came up with this:

I wanted to emulate the embroidery style of the Momoko's (well, in reality likely the embroidery designer Onoe Megumi--unclear if she did the actual embroidery, but it's likely) embroidery, which I figured wouldn't be too difficult if I was also embroidering by hand.

For material, I am using the same velveteen I used for kumya's JSK. Not my first choice and I actually purchased some thicker looking 100% cotton velvet that I thought would be more similar to the original JSK material, but was worried it wouldn't arrive in time and wanted this project out of the way in case things went wrong/took longer than I expected (it did arrive about a week before the event, but it was totally wrong IRL so I'm glad I just went with this acceptable option). I also bought some more torchon lace, so I used that and another lace from my stash.

The colours of the embroidery in the film also seem to be quite different than BABY's dress. I'm not sure if the pink of the roses has faded over the years, but it has a slight salmon tone whereas the film's roses seem to be more of a pale cool/neutral pink (hard to tell with the yellow tint of the entire film) with some variegation. I love the colour scheme of the film's embroidery, but to keep things coordinated I try to opt for the same colours as the actual dress I have.

I only have white silk ribbon in the width I wanted, so I opted to attempt to dye it to match. Previously I have used alcohol markers to colour the embroidery afterwards, but I find the colour hard to control and it tends to bleed into the fabric. I've also tried colouring the ribbon with the marker before embroidering, but without heat setting the colour transfers onto the fabric as well (and it seems like trying to do so with the amount of ribbon I need would be a waste of ink).

I don't have a lot of experience with it, but since the ribbon is silk, acid dyeing seemed like the way to go.

Very interesting photo of ribbon in pot (the pink ribbon gets eaten up by pinwheel roses much faster than I expected so this is the second batch I had to dye--not ideal as they are definitely slightly different in colour but it's not too noticeable). In total, I think I had to dye 3 batches of ribbon and 4 for the pink ribbon as I just barely ran out near the end, and they are all slightly different colours. Thankfully the undertone is the same so it's difficult to tell unless you are really comparing up close.

I thought I would take this opportunity to use the "peach" acid dye that I bought years ago for another project, but this ended up being a mistake as the colour was totally off (maybe the red dye was too expired). I ended up using my regular fiber reactive procion dyes (with heat/acid), because I have many more colours I could mix together, and that was much better. I really should have done this from the start as I wasted perfectly good silk ribbon by making it too dark/off for my purposes (I ended up overdyeing it in pink so it's a usable colour now, but not for this project).

The silk seems to take on dye extremely fast--even just heating up the dyebath will colour it. In some cases I removed the ribbon before adding any acid at all because I felt the ribbon was already getting too dark.

I managed to get a fairly usable mossy green colour for the leaves and vines, however the pink still ended up being a little off/dark compared to whatever BABY used. It's not too bad here as one strand of ribbon, but when many layers are on top of each other in a rose it seems pretty dark. While not ideal, I think it's still okay, especially considering the embroidery colours used in kumya's JSK match nothing else (many pinks will be going on in this coord).

After dyeing and drying, the ribbon is super wrinkled so I ironed it and wound it on some spare card so it's ready to use.

And now I can start the arduous process of embroidery.

Like before, I mainly use a combination of ordinary ribbon stitches, pinwheel roses, and french knot roses. However, this time I try harder to duplicate, or at least evoke the appearance of the embroidery of the film.

It's interesting how plain and somewhat boring the roses look on their own, especially with this monotone colouring. The varied colours of the film's embroidered roses are lovely, but I decided against it here because the BABY dress has monotone ribbon roses.

The roses definitely seem to just be pinwheel style which is very easy and doable, however I am a bit more confused about the leaves. They look like a number of straight stitches in various lengths and directions that fill in a leaf-like shape. I have no idea if this technique has a name and if there is a proper method for it, because I am a silly beginner who is very uneducated in embroidery.

Anyway I do my best and hopefully I got close enough. Ribbon embroidery is really all about the texture, which is really lovely to look at. Except I have trouble looking at my own work for too long because I start nitpicking all the mistakes I made...

Adding the green and leaves really helps the embroidery come to life.

I took even fewer pictures of the embroidery process than kumya's JSK this time because it's not that interesting. I was definitely getting sick of doing the same pinwheel over and over...

I stupidly decided that aside from embroidering the front of the brim, I also wanted a little bit of embroidery on the back of the brim for interest, as well as on the side.

The designs I drafted out for these two pieces is much simpler, but still, more work....

Almost ready for construction! Hopefully a lot faster with the handwork out of the way.

I iron on some interfacing onto the back brim panel and the bonnet band for slight extra stiffness.

The bottom part of the brim is plain cotton sateen because I was worried that the part that touches the head would get dirtier more quickly it if was velveteen.

I wanted some lace gathered around the brim and an extra velveteen ruffle on the back of the band, so I prepare that now. The lace is gathered with a single gathering thread and sewn down before sandwiching between the two brim panels.

Brim sewn and topstitched (and band is ready for attachment).

The upper flowers ended up a little closer to the top of the band then I intended, but I think it's okay.

Gathering brim and attaching it to band. Because the velvet fabric is so thick, the usual "sew one line of stitching with a wide stitch length" not only made the fabric incredibly difficult to gather, but the thin polyester thread also continually broke when trying to do so. Therefore, I opted for an alternative method I think I'd remember seeing in my sewing machine manual of all things--a zigzag carefully stitched over a central gathering thread. This worked much better, although I probably should have used a thicker/extra strong thread as the central gathering thread because it did break the second time I had to gather the brim due to a mistake.

I also add a bit of lace to the inside of the brim. I think this adds some luxury and frilliness between the head and the bonnet's brim, so I wanted to add a small width. I probably could have used even more of the lace's width since it turned out very subtle when worn. But I still think it adds a small amount of interest to the innermost part of the brim and was worth adding.

Unfortunately here after sewing on both brim parts I realize that I gathered both using an incorrectly marked centre line, so I had to rip it out and do it again ;_;

Next, I can carefully align and pin the bottom of the brim to the bonnet and sew it down. I tack this down by hand because I'm not skilled/accurate enough with a sewing machine to topstitch both sides nicely at once (look closely, and my messy stitching is quite visible...)

I also fold in the raw edges and finish the sides of the brim by hand, leaving some openings for ribbon ties.

At this point I spray almost the whole bonnet with water to disperse and fade my markings. Unfortunately, some of the earlier batches of ribbon that I dyed (Can you tell the variance in the 3 dye batches I needed to do?) were probably not washed well after dying and seem to have bled into the fabric from the water...but hopefully it's not too noticeable.

Next I topstitched all around the brim and attached the ribbon ties.

I bought some double sided velvet ribbon in my last minute supplies shipment and made some bows from it. I think the material is a little thick and petersham would have worked alright as well, but the consistent velvet material feels more luxurious, doesn't it? I also think as an added benefit (?) the ribbon being plush and double sided made the bows more puffy looking.

I add some clips to the sides and a toupee clip to the top for security. I opted for a toupee clips because I think it's really the way to go if you don't want the head item to move at all, no matter how thin or slippery your hair.

Finished.

Bonus 1: rose accent pin

I was in a bit of a rush at this point as it was near the end of the week coming up to the show, so I didn't take any photos of the process here but the technique and templates I used were identical to my handmade faux rose rosettes I made for UM (and the bonus corsages). I have a post with all the details of this sitting in my drafts that I will post eventually, and I will update this post when that happens.

The brooch was just meant to add a bit of 3D faux flower accent to the bonnet, bringing in the rose motif even more. Partially inspired by the faux flowers BABY adds to their bonnets sometimes, like on Milk Tea Doll.

The fabric was "custom dyed" with the same fiber reactive dye I used for the silk. The fabric was further starched, cut out by hand, and shaped with flower iron tools before gluing together.

Bonus 2: matching embroidered mask

I wasn't sure about whether or not I wanted to wear a matching mask, but decided to do so for situations when I would want my face at least half-covered in public. I didn't really expect to be visible in fashion show pictures as someone in the back, but just in case. (I think this decision was worth it, although my makeup transferred all over the thing and in most pictures my face was even more unflattering. eh well)

I forgot to take a lot of pictures of my process for this, but it's very uninteresting and not dissimilar from every other mask sewalong from 2020. I draft out a design similar to the bonnet motifs on both of my mask panels (cotton sateen), and embroider.

I should have embroidered closer to the centre of the mask because when worn the embroidery is not very visible/covered by my hair at the sides. What can I do since the panels were already cut though...oh well!

The lining material is some Japanese CLEANSE Ex fabric I had bought previously to make masks during the pandemic. It's supposed to be antibacterial and antiviral, as well as washable, but I have no idea how well supported those claims are.

Sew together normally on both upper and lower sides, turn inside out, add a channel for nose wire and side channels for elastic.

I also have some mask elastic on hand so I use that.

And the finished outfit again with all my items~

Thank you for reading! If you ever feel inspired to take up a similar project, such as the kumya JSK, I'd love to see it!

[sinful-lanterns]

Ooo! I have a couple more thoughts on the Devil!Eirene post if you don't mind me thirsting for a bit? 😍 Okay, so since we know Researcher has a habit of sketching the various monster cocks she comes across, I imagine Eirene's probably a little taken aback when this adorable nerd absolutely whips out her sketchbook with the intent of drawing every detail of the dick in front of her. And I'm sure a devil like Eirene is probably already pretty big when flaccid, but the way Researcher starts drawing her with such attentive detail. Then, when Researcher gets permission to touch her in order to get a better look at the ribbed texture and scales of her cock, well... Eirene can't help but get even bigger at that point! 😯 Big enough to where Researcher doesn't even have to hold her cock up to see all those lovely, textured details! Let's be real here, Researcher probably still touches her cock more anyway... 😏 And the way this devil gets so possessive at night! Eirene probably fucks Researcher on every available surface in the cathedral: on the floors, against the walls, along the pews, and definitely on the altar! 😌 Researcher distractedly makes a note of how much Devil!Eirene enjoys that last one based on much the ribbed cock inside her seems to flare just the slightest bit more... By the time Devil!Eirene fucks Researcher to the point of exhaustion, she spoons the human from behind, wrapping her devil wings around her little mate to keep her warm against the cold tiles. Her hot cock does the same thing as she remains hilted inside the silken sheath of the Researcher's pussy. If she keeps enough of her cum inside, maybe she'll get to have little devils with her favorite human one day... Meanwhile, Priest Oak Casket probably sighs when she sees how much of her cathedral's been defiled when she arrives in the morning. - 🌙 anon

Oughhh this is so hot. I also love the idea that Oak Casket was actually the owner of the cathedral that Devil! Eirene was summoned in, and by the time she gets back, all she sees is that the ritual had been completed, there are some questionable white “stains” everywhere, and there are traces of human hair found that look suspiciously like the Researcher’s… (because it is)

Now, at the time that Oak Casket discovered that Devil! Eirene had been summoned, Oak Casket hadn’t met the Researcher yet. However, upon realizing that a contract had been created between the Devil and the human that finished the ritual, Oak takes an interest in finding this human, as it’s rare for humans to form a contract with devils through sex. She takes a peculiar interest in studying this human’s soul, and makes it her new goal to track down this human and find them.

I’m not sure what kind of monster Oak Casket would be but I think she’d be a Lich, an undead eldritch spellcaster that defied death and continued living. She’d notice that the Researcher had left her blood still fresh on the blade, and after one taste of it, Lich! Oak Casket is able to cast a spell to try to track her down…

Careful now Researcher, Devil! Eirene wasn’t the only monster to follow you out of the cathedral. Now you have a Devil and a Lich gunning for your soul 😨

[blackholesun321]

Me and @mega-ringsandthings-world were talking about who would be the worst and funniest person to put in a time travel au fix it fic. and predictably we both came to the conclusion the Mihawk would be the worst person to go (save the cheer-leader) save the world type of deal.

And the worst is subjective, but what we mean is least proactive in wanting to save the world, which leads into the funny part of, "Oh my god, I want to be gardening on my silly goth gay island surrounded by my murder monkeys, with my best wine mom cups, battling half my kids for sport, hunting marines with the homies and fucking my boyfriend(s) silly." This man was made from "not my issue, not my problem." When he’s not interested. And he not interested at all. He wants to be literally anywhere else than saving the world, but he's here now, and, damn it, he can't enjoy a glass of wine if the world is dead and gone—still, he's tempted to let things play out as planned and just lounge on his island, making wine that only he will ever drink, and living the rich Halloween Pinterest cottagecore dream until everything goes to shit again.

There’s also the fact that in minding his own business, unless he’s bored and it’s piqued his interest, which shit rarely does— he doesn’t give a shit. So, he's missing a lot of crucial information on what’s happened in the world and players he needs to stop and or kill. Take Blackbeard, for example; he knows the man’s moniker is Blackbeard, he knows he has a horrendous laugh, he knows he’s missing teeth, a terrifying crew, and a devil fruit, and Mihawk could probably pick him out from a lineup.

Does Mihawk know his actual name, where he’s from, and literally anything else about him? No? Does he know he needs to find and stop him from ending the world? Absolutely. So, cue the world’s greatest swordsman, a Warlord, a Marine dog, suddenly doing a personality glitch one eighty, and barging, breaking and generally cutting into places with a crudely drawn sketch, asking, "Have you seen this man?"

Anyways it would be hilarious and I will be posting more about this au in the future! It will involve Shanks living in his gritty psychological late detective tv show era. Mihawk crashing on couches and in rafters and one time Crocodiles bananawani inclosure. Buggy and Franky — as the unwanted unpaid severly terrified therapists. And how to cut off your own arm with a butter knife and a dream! But it’s five in the morning and I need to go to bed.

[malacandrax]

Hello hello!! Just wanted to say that I really love seeing your traditional drawings, they're so charming 🥺 It's pretty rare to see trad. art on here compared to digital, which is a little sad.. there's just something about the personality it has!

Do you find that the post engagement they receive is less than your digital works? Personally I've had this experience but I'm not sure if it's different for other artists 😯 It's discouraged me a lot from posting since I don't regularly have enough time to sit down and make a digital piece vs drawing in my sketchbook 😓

On a related note, is there a pen you'd recommend for sketching/doodling? All the pen drawings in your sketchbook posts are so pretty 🫶

Thank you so much! That means a lot honestly. Seeing other peoples sketches is one of my favourite things, you're right, it's generally less perfect but I think it has more charm because of that. I feel like *personally* I actually often favour traditional stuff over digital when I see it online- I have a big collection of digital sketchbooks and fav'd youtube flipthroughs.

HOWEVER yeah I think we are in the minority. To be completely honest on itch.io I've actually only made 4 sketchbook sales*, I assume there's a market out there but I ain't hitting it haha! I do have a good chunk of patrons that comment and like my sketches, which is wonderful, and I often get sweet tags on the doodles I share here- but you're right that engagement is lower. I'd encourage you do just do it for yourself, though! There's nothing like having a big stack of art in real life. Maybe that's a privileged position for me to have, at the moment I don't need to worry about engagement on my sfw art, but also it's a shame to not do something you enjoy because of numbers. (I would recommend using a scanner if you want to catch more peoples eyes. Mines crap but it's way better than photos were.)

Pen wise I am a picky bitch, I like things that don't require pressure, make a uniformish line, and ink that flows easy- so I prefer gel pen styles or fountain pens. My most recent fav were some lyreco retract gel 0.7's my partner randomly brought home from work lol, but I lost the black one and replaced it with a uniball signo 0.7 [UM-120*], honestly they're just regular gel pens though, I generally try them out in a shop and pick ones that don't blob or scratch.

My fountain pen is a pilot kakuno, which atm has that blue grey ink in (sailor 224) and I really love it. (also I put it into a water brush pen) I've also used carbon platinum for a good waterproof ink.

Good luck with your sketchbook endeavours, and thank you again!

*there are...at least two types of uniball signo, and the other one with a soft grip is bad imo.

**thank you to those sweethearts who bought the sketchbook!

[meanbossart]

Asks about VaM, art advice, and miscellaneous stuffs

HI! Real quick please refrain from referring to Sad Sack as S/S for the uh... Obviously reasons LOL We call it "sads" for short!

If what you're asking for are recommendations for a website to host that kind of thing, Neocities, Twitter, Itchio and as you mentioned AO3 are all perfectly good options! Patreon too (depending on how gnarly you're planning on getting) but I'd suggest keeping that as a secondary host option because I don't think it lends itself super well for getting your work circulating. I believe Bluesky allows that kind of thing too, but I'm not too sure since I don't use it.

Now, If you're asking about public reaction rather than guidelines, anywhere you go you might find people that don't jive with the work you do 🤷 just be upfront about the type of content you're making right off the bat to avoid having anyone stumble upon it by accident to the best of your abilities, otherwise, I wouldn't worry too much. I know we're constantly exposed to examples of overwhelming harassment and "dogpilling" happening to others but... Truth be told, most of us won't ever get to the size/internet level of fame where we experience that. I think the threat is a little bit... Overstated, nowadays. Not to mention that most of the time people are getting harassment for things that have nothing to do with their work, and rather relating to their behavior and attitudes. Play smart, be responsible, and be honest! Whatever comes next is in god's hands LOL

Thank you for the ask! Not sure I was of much help 😅 but frankly when you're just starting out it's best to focus on getting the work done first and just throwing it out there, wherever it may be. You can worry about technicalities like that later!

I GOT YOU MAN the full sketch is now up on my patreon!

YES AND YES WHETHER IT BE STORIES OR ART OF DU DROW AND YOUR CHARACTERS SLAMMING PINTS TOGETHER BE MY GUEST PLEASE

I love seeing everyone's take on my weirdo so much, anything is honestly welcomed!

AW DUDE thank you so much! Especially for suffering through the mammoth of a story that ANE turned into - writing has never been my strongest point so I'm always shocked to hear from people that enjoy it 🥲

About the booze question, honestly I'm not picky at all, I usually go by price and by that I mean whatever is cheapest LOL but I prefer a dry white as far as types go.

You only have to pay for it once! You get a code that unlocks the software and all of it's features and you're free to cancel your subscription after that. At some point the code might change or there might be an update that requires subscribing again - but that seems like a very rare occurrence so I wouldn't worry about it.

OH NO I HAVE DEFINITELY TRACED MY OWN REFERENCE BEFORE, but not entire poses! When something is challenging I'll make a point of drawing it out the usual way.

I can remember a couple of instances from Nick and mine's comic where I traced pictures I took of myself, just as a time saving measure. Again like I said in the post, there are several ways to employ tracing your own material that is perfectly acceptable. I have also traced bare-bones 3D backgrounds that I made for the same reasons.

I know you specifically asked about tracing when something's complicated, but I still wanted to be upfront to demystify the practice under different circumstances. The rule of thumb is to never use it when you know it would be inhibiting your skill development!

Happy to hear you wanted to pick up the skill! I definitely understand the urge too LOL since playing BG3 and becoming so invested in the stories and characters my art has improved a ton, simply from forcing me out of my usual style and making me want to capture different moods and scenarios - finding something you're passionate to draw is, frankly a great damn start.

I replied to a bunch of asks asking for pointers and advice a while back, one of the questions was very similar to yours and I still stand behind the advice I gave then. Hopefully you can find something helpful here! https://meanbossart.tumblr.com/post/740543514692173824/some-art-advice-asks-ive-been-meaning-to-reply

HMMM I don't usually think of myself as the best teacher/tutorial guy, but funnily enough I can think of a few things about this topic that I could elaborate on lol. If I do that in the near future, I'll put it up on my patreon (for free as with everything else.)

If there are any specific things about it that you (and anyone else who would be interested in it, for that matter) find challenging and would like for me to focus on, let me know!

---

That's all for now folks, and as usual thank you so much to everyone who's left a nice compliment, word of encouragement or funny tidbit in my inbox as well! I can't reply to you all individually, but I see and read all the messages I get c:

HAVE A LOVELY REST OF YOUR WEEK

[b1nkee]

APHBLR (especially artists) I NEED MUTUALS PLEAAASEE LETS BE FRIENDS!!!!!

If asking doesn't convince you here is literally every single aphmau related piece I've ever done from most recently worked on to oldest

I'm missing a couple of my OLD OLD pieces from when I was actually 11 because I'm on vacation and I can't find a single picture of these drawings but wtv enjoy ig

also half of these are just gonna be sketches AND you guys WILL see these again when they get finished

we are so back sos sosososososo back, I still need to fit Kim somewhere because she's plot relevant

diaries interpretations <3 they will slowly be clothed

they're kissinf <3

nana drowning

zane for valentines day (this was not finished anywhere near valentines day)

diaries gargar before and after survivors guilt + other mcd things

Levin Zoey and Malachi sending out a message in a bottle after literally everyone disappears. (mother)

Zoey making those fairy lights

travis valentines day tile I actually made around valentines day, I can't find the post-fired version anywhere in my camera roll other than in a TikTok I made where I was using It to do pre-calc homework LMFAO

zane in skeleton onesie

zanechan watching movies tg except his ass falls asleep.

they're going shopping.

The zane piece I made that actually really made digital painting start clicking in my head. Also I was in the TRENCHES for him during this piece I think you can tell

I long have abandoned this sketch BUTTTT I'm planning a redraw eventually

Ok so now here we are pre-quarantine by a few years. Had a little rare pair moment. I think travchan has an interesting dynamic in the like 3 moments they interact and if aphmau isn't going to give them a bestie arc IM going to give them a bestie arc

ok and now this one is like from ages ago ages ago

I have a couple of other drawings (1 of Irene, 1 of like every MCD character to ever) that were so so so silly because I made them back when I was 11 or something wish they were here anyway

lots of other aphmau fan art to come, honestly Im provably going yo be making fan art for these series's until I drop dead

[sotwk]

Thranduilion: Sons of the Woodland King

SotWK commission by super-talented artist hffhifjou

(Please click image to enlarge and appreciate the beautiful details! XD)

I am pleased to present the first artwork I've commissioned for my OCs, the Princes of Mirkwood, Legolas's older brothers and elder sons of Thranduil Oropherion and his wife, Elvenqueen Maereth (also my OC).

I know many fans aren't on board with Legolas having brothers, but I invite you to enjoy the concept with me for a bit: an entire lineup of brother ellons, all as gorgeous and amazing as Thranduil and Legolas are?? Surely it's a fun imagine to indulge in, even as an AU.

I will gradually start posting more HCs about each Prince of Mirkwood, but here are some headcanons to accompany and explain this artwork:

Legolas is not only the youngest son, but he is actually the smallest of the group--if you could even call 6 feet, 8 inches "small"! But in comparison, Thranduil is 7 feet, 3 inches, while the tallest son, Turhir is a whopping 7 feet, 6 inches.

Turhir is the tank of the family--the tallest one and the best fighter (not counting Thranduil). He is virtually tireless and very difficult to take down or injure.

The eldest brother, Crown Prince Mirion, is physically the strongest, with raw muscle power even greater than Thranduil's. You can see that he is simply built broader and more muscular than the usual elven "slender" physique.

The five princes have varying degrees of fighting ability and different skill sets, but all of them are adept warriors. In this sketch, they are each carrying the weapons they specialize in.

The princes have trained alongside the Greenwood soldiers since they were very young, and they eventually earned places in leadership positions--except for Arvellas, who is more scholar than soldier.

The princes don't wear circlets most of the time; only during formal functions. Wildman Gelir in particular hates having to do this, and dislikes formal "stuffy" clothing in general. The Crown Prince is the only one who wears his crown as regularly as the Elvenking does, to signify his status as heir to the throne.

During warm summers in the Woodland Realm, soldiers do occasionally train shirtless, especially when they do drills around or in bodies of water. In some winters, they also undergo exercises with very little clothing on, to hone their bodies' tolerance for the harshest cold-weather conditions.

One of my HCs about Mirkwood/Silvan elves is that they are much more comfortable with showing skin than their Noldor and Sindar brethren in the west (or even the other races), which can occasionally scandalize and draw criticisms from outside visitors.

I specifically asked for the artist to draw these elves shirtless because a) you know we all enjoy that; b) we rarely get to see it; and c) I did want to highlight the differences in physique between the brothers, and promote my belief that Elves do not have all the same body type.

For anyone interested, I made a separate post about my fancast/face claim choices for these OCs HERE.

I am 100% willing to answer any Asks about any of my OC Thranduilions, including headcanons of Legolas. My OC-loving heart will thank you for your interest!

Tagging some friends who have been so kind in encouraging me to create more content for my OCs. Thank you so much, and I hope you don't mind this superfluous tag. (It won't be a regular thing, I promise!) @laneynoir @legoriel-fan @quickslvxr @achromaticerebus @tamryniel @friendofthefellowshipsnerdblog @blueberryrock @aduialel @glassgulls @ladyweaslette @tamurilofrivendell @delicatebreadtyphoon @laurfilijames @i-am-pinkie @lathalea @fizzyxcustard @sleepyamygdala @jezzibee @firelightinferno @coopsgirl @heilith

[col-e7]

Ninjago headcanons again but my high school with no powers AU (post 1/5)

/!\ TW : traumas, E.D, depression, SH, cigarettes and dr8gs, bullying, mental health, violence, VERY long post with the worse grammar possible /!\

This will be a serie of 5 posts with 3 characters each time. Any ideas, suggestions, headcanons or anything to complete mine is appreciated !

Kai Smith

• is 17 y/o

• is in 11th grade

• uses he/they pronouns but prefers being seen as a guy

• androgyne and pansexual

• are Mexican by their mother and Japanese by their father

• fluent speakers in Spanish and Japanese

• he’s between 5’7 and 5’8 tall (somewhere between 1m70 and 1m72)

• they’re the 3rd older after Zane and Cole

• they’re born on 18 august

• has I.E.D (intermittent explosive disorder)

• has insomnia since the burglary happened (in my AU, Kai and Nya’s parents died stopping burglars who entered in the house, Kai were 10 and Nya 9)

• everyone knows him and his relation with his siblings and how you shouldn’t hurt or annoy them if you don’t want to go to the hospital (that’s what happened to Lloyd’s bullies in middle school)

• due to what they did to Lloyd’s bullies, they had to pay for the damage and the treatment. It took them almost a year and half to find the money

• has a LOT of followers on his socials, especially instagram

• is good at English, P.E., politics and social classes and surprisingly good at art (only at whatever touching fashion like anatomy, outfit sketches and drawing different textures/fabrics)

• wants to be a model or work in fashion industry

• has dated a lot of people in their life but it never lasted more then two months because of his I.E.D that their partner didn’t understand or search to understand, his habit to never seek help or say anything about his feelings

• is currently dating Skylor since the beginning of summer but they realise that they have maybe catch feelings for Cole

• is the only one with Jay to have a driver license

• always getting in trouble with school or students because they fight a lot (is easily provoked)

• work hard after school everyday (he’s overexploited by his boss and knows it but can’t quit his job because he couldn’t afford the apartment or pay any food)

• hate seeking help, see it as weakness

• his insomnia get worse due to his night job and homeworks

• hide his dark rings with a bit of makeup

• was extremely afraid to wear dresses and skirts, anything for « girls » at school but since 10th grade they found the confidence to wear whatever they want and enjoys it

• loves help Lloyd with his art project when they need a model

• goes to art galleries with Lloyd and anything linked to fashion with Skylor and Cole

• have his right eye that moves more slowly than the other and his right pupil bigger and the left one because of one of the burglar : one of them was about to hit Nya by throwing some glass at her and he got between them to protect his sister and his upper eyes take some glass and that stupid little idiot tried to remove it but only make it worse and now, plus making his vision worse they also have a scar now

• loves going out at night with Cole when they end up high and talk about life and philosophical things in the moonlight

• organise hangouts with the entire friend group to the mall when he has enough money and they always ending up to do a sleepover at someone’s house (usually Jay’s because his parents are the kindest people ever)

• ALWAYS wear one black converse and the other red that he wrote on some lyrics of Lana del Ray « Say yes to me… » and « If you dance,… » that he match with Cole’s converse

• always on energy drinks to stay awake

• have an amazing sense of style and can make a beautiful outfit with the bare minimum, and can spend HOURS in a thrift store

• is a party animal since he can rarely go to parties with his job but those parties usually finished with him fighting or being so high or drunk he can’t even go home (he already spend a night outside bcz of that)

• they hate themselves for being a such problem and « bad brother », for being not mentally stable or economically stable as well

• they stop taking their medicine for their I.E.D because he couldn’t pay for both of his treatments and Lloyd’s ADHD medication

• used to skip meals to feed Nya and Lloyd, sometimes does it when it’s the end of the month and he can barely buy enough food for two persons

• has a HUGE crush on Cole since the beginning of the year

• was afraid for Nya when she gets in her first relationship but relax and learn to trust her and saw there were nothing to be worry about

• their fav artists are Hozier and Lady Gaga

• always ask to their therapist what Lloyd said to her but she always give answers like : "Kai, would you, please, considerate to turn off your big brother mode for an hour ? "

• doesn’t know to swim since they’re hella scared of water

• can plays drums

• definitely a mama’s boy

• has a naturally hotter body temperature

Cole Hence Brookstone

• is 18 y/o

• is in 11th grade because he repeat his 9th grade

• uses he/him and sees himself as a cis man

• gay

• is Algerian on his mother side and Indian on his father side

• fluent speaker in Arabic, Hindi and French and is learning Korean and Spanish

• he’s the second tallest after Zane : he’s between 6’2 and 6’3 (between 1m90 and 1m93)

• always sleeping in classes he found boring because his sleep schedule is a totally mess (goes with Kai in the back of the class and do their nap together)

• he’s the oldest of the group, being born one month before Zane

• doesn’t know what to do after school and he feels anxious about it because all his friends have already some ideas

• writes songs/poems in class in a notebook where he writes about his life/traumas, his thoughts and draws some doodles, he considers it like his diary and never shows it to anyone

• he has been diagnosed with an E.D (boulimia) at 6 and even tho he tried to handle it, he always has like severe periods in a year where he loses a lot of weight and feels extremely tired and bad, at the point he did a depression in 9th grade. It was already hard to get ready for school and go to classes so doing homework and listening to the teachers was almost impossible that’s why he repeated the year

• he get, followed after by Nya and Lloyd when they get 16, a motorcycle licence one week after he got 16. He needed it to drive himself to school since his dad isn’t always at home because of his work and since he’s often drunk he prefers to go by himself

• he smokes and very rarely dr8gs with Kai. Lloyd often ask if he could pay them some cigarettes but Cole never does because 1 : "you’re literally a walking angel alive, you’re too pure for that shit" and 2 : " You want me dead and your siblings in jail ??"

• genuinely DESPISE P.E. class because of the changing room mostly. When he was in 8th grade he has been bullied for being gay and “watching boys changing in P.E.” and has been beaten up by his classmates for that. The year after the boulimia didn’t help and he would constantly comparing himself to other and thought he eat too much and doesn’t do enough sport, adding to that the comments of the P.E. teacher

• never goes outside without his headphones and a pair of earbuds too in case his headphones die

• people usually think he’s tough but actually he’s the kindest and sweetest guy ever and gives the best hugs when you need it

• does sleepovers with Skylor and Vania or just Vania but Nya, Pix and Skylor often invite themselves to the party

• speaks to Skylor in Arabic just to watch others’s faces

• learns Korean to understand Jay and Spanish to understand Kai, Nya and Skylor

• plays guitar and has a band with Morro, Akita and Vania

• he does not sing because he just can’t but he can perfectly do rap and beatbox

• he has daddy issues not due to his family legacy but mostly due to his father who can’t make his grieve of his wife and drink

• can do breakdance but will never do it in high school

• protects Lloyd every times he sees they’re being annoyed

• has a ton of pairs of converse but one black with the lyrics « say yes to heaven » and « I’ll dance » that Kai and him matched

• BIG HUGE fan of Cigarettes after sex (his fav songs of them are Sunsetz and Cry)

• his fav artists are Cigarettes after sex, TV girl, Arctic Monkeys, Conan Gray and Pyo (he’s a little singer go listen to his songs they’re worth it *^*)

• his coming out to his father was an absolute disaster and is one of his biggest traumas : his dad saw him and Kai kissing each other one day, so when he explained that Kai was more than a friend and that he was attracted to men, they had a huge fight while Kai was trying to defend his boyfriend but he had to go outside to calm himself down while he heard the screams and shoutings of the two men. After like a half of an hour, his father decided to kick him out of the house. He had to sleep at the Smith’s. The next day he tried to talk to his dad but he was drunk and told him he had no son, that he was dead and that’s why he threw all his stuff out of the window. Cole just took the stuff that was still intact -which means not a lot- by holding tears and leave the house

• spend two months in a hospital because of his ED which became so severe he lost 15 or 20kg (~33 and 44 ibs), he had a constant headache, was very tired close to the dehydration

• loves skateboarding with Morro and Lloyd

• after getting out of the hospital and tried his best to recover of both his traumas and his ED he get a tattoo for this : a dragon with lilies’s petals and flames

• has a big crush on Kai since middle school and Jay was the first to noticed it

• him and Jay have the most philosophical and deepest conversations ever about love and relationships, at 3am, calling each other on discord and playing horror video games

• studies with Zane (at least tries to) and our poor Zane had to survive to a freaking out lost Cole in math : " WHAT’S x ? WHAT’S y ? WHERE ARE NUMBERS WHEN YOU NEED IT ??!! "

• goes to gym with Zane, Kai and Nya

• mama’s boy club with Kai

Lloyd Montgomery Garmadon

• just turned 16 a few weeks ago

• are in 11th grade too (skipped 1st grade)

• use they/them pronouns and identify as a trans man

• thought they were biromantic and asexual but after a sexuality identity crisis that everyone has been, they discovered they were aroace

• they have autism and ADHD

• is Japanese on his mother side and Chinese on his father side

• can speak Japanese and Spanish thanks to the Smith siblings

• they’re 5’2 (1m57) will have growth spurt and be taller than Kai, being like 5’9-5’10 (1m77)

• they’re the youngest in the group

• has been abandoned by their parents in an orphanage at a very young age because their parents are criminals (i will develop this point later because i have literally no idea for now ;-;) but they ran away because of the way kids were treated. They found Kai after a month to live in the streets and quickly bonded after a talk. Kai decided to help Lloyd after heard their story and brought them home

• when they entered in the first time in a school they’re like 5 and it was in a kindergarten and they feel really different of the others kids, feel lost and overwhelmed by all the social interactions like at the orphanage but worse and cried almost all the morning before a teacher came and help them to calm down. And it was like that for a whole week, Lloyd didn’t wanted to disappoint Kai or Nya or took the risk of being rejected again so the teacher helped them to talk to Kai when he picked them up. Kai contacted a doctor who told them to see a psychiatrist for that case. So Kai contacted his therapist who diagnosed his I.E.Dto make an appointment. She was very kind with Lloyd and after a few months she diagnosed them both autism and ADHD

• are very intelligent but started getting bag grades after 6th grade because of the school system that is absolutely terrible for them with their ADHD and autism

• they’ve been bullied since 5th grade and started developing a school phobia and since they say everything to their siblings, Kai and Nya let them stay at home when they don’t feel like to go to school

• Jay helps them handle their ADHD since he has it too and also gives them tips about their transition since Jay’s also trans. Zane give them advices on their autism since they are autistic

• are extremely good at art and their whole bedroom is literally an art studio with graffiti on their walls, a lot of finished or unfinished paintings and a LOT of sheets filled with sketches and drawings on the floor or on his desk

• own like 6-7 sketchbooks, have started them all but never finished them (yet they still hope to finish them)

• have a few hyperfixations and the biggest ones are definitely sharks and video games (Jay bought them some books about sharks and gives them some of his own video games and Cole some plushies of sharks)

• have two hoodies (one green that looks like a frog and an another black that looks like a cat) that they put on when they feel overwhelmed by the noise around them

• have tried to learn how to play guitar but failed miserably so instead they just play violin and they’re amazingly amazing at it ✨

• have wayyyyyy too much plushies that they found on thrift store, theirs siblings/friends gave them or just found them in public places being lost for days. Lloyd gaves names and pronouns to each of them

• used to wear glasses but always ended up broken either by their bullies or by themselves so Pixal and Zane designed, with the help of their parents contact lenses for their 13th birthday

• vans shoes lover

• have for best friend Akita, a girl in their class and with who they have their best laughs in class. She’s their confidante after Kai and Nya

• often skating with Cole and Morro

• teach Akita how to do skateboarding

• their fav artists are Cavetown, The Neighbourhood, Feldup (mostly known in France even tho his songs are in English) and Hozier (thanks to Kai)

• always draw in class except History and English classes, their fav (they’re kind of history nerd)

• have depression episodes more or less serious but they are cutting themselves during those and try to attempt to k!ll themselves (mostly due to bullying and their poor self esteem)

• when they have nightmares they go to sleep with their favourite plushies in Kai’s bed, with Nya when she does nightmares and they both hug Kai for comfort and warmth because Kai has a naturally hotter body temperature

• often think about how they got adopted by Kai, where and who were their parents and ask themselves why they decided to abandon them, and always end up crying, feeling useless, unworthy and unwanted

That’s it for now !! Hope your day was great if not, i hope your tomorrow will !

The next characters in the next post will be Jay, Nya and Zane ! Hope you enjoyed those headcanons I may considering to make a fanfiction based on it idk anyways bye byeee !!

[frokenkeke]

Making of Ashes to Ashley

Recently I posted my comic Ashes to Ashley, and got such a tremendously kind and loving response that I felt like sharing a little bit more about where it came from.

The story is about a transgender awakening, where the quiet and somber Ash explodes out of the closet as the loud and colorful Ashley. This was always the plan, however the details changed along the way. Quite quickly I realized that I was writing about myself and my own trans journey. I never played in a band and I don't imagine I'll ever grow bunny ears (sadly), but still Ashley is undoubtedly a reflection of myself. I just allowed life to become a stage and gender performance a rock concert.

Above are the first idea doodles I drew late at night in early April. I quite enjoyed giving Ashley lipstick and prominent eye shadow, since I hadn't ever done a character like that before. The idea was a bit of exaggerated femininity that accidentally becomes raw punk expression. One or two people have pointed out the Um Jammer Lammy similarities, and they are absolutely not coincidental. Initially I imagined Ashley would've been more reluctant about her transformation, which is why she looks a bit more annoyed in some of my sketches, but the story became more bright and funny if it was made immediately clear that this all happens off of her own volition.

Some method and color tests. My girlfriend suggested I instead go a lot more raw with it, which is why I ended up adamantly using an ugly sponge brush built into Photoshop. Sapphic Disaster are some form of punk-shoegaze band, so combining rough pencil linework with crunchy texture coloring felt like a fitting visual representation of them. This also side-stepped the biggest problems I've always had with drawing comics – dealing with inking is a boring waste of time, and working digitally always makes me fixate on perfection. By just using pencil on paper I had to stick with whatever errors couldn't be saved by a regular eraser, in fact I dedicated myself to only using an old worn down Bic mechanical pencil and embraced the idea that the comic would consistently look a bit off and amateurish. Of course I allowed myself the luxury of cleaning up my drawings digitally before coloring, but that can only take you so far. This way of working helped me make fast progress and kept each step engaging, I've never had as much fun drawing a comic as I had with Ashes to Ashley.

Here's a before and after from initial scan to finished panel. I often only tidy up around focal points like faces or hands, and allow the rest to remain as it is, usually parts like the legs or Ashley's ears.

Character references and my initial color picks, they went through small changes as I went along. I liked giving all the band members different sorts of rabbit ears to make them all look distinct from each other.

Here's some ideas for the Sapphic Disaster band logo and the comic's color palette, notice how Ashley is more vibrant than Ash.

While working I filled up numerous papers with doodles trying to workshop panels and layouts. It's too much to show all of them here, so I composed a few collages of my favorites.

It was pivotal for me that Ash would always look painfully cute. The sketch of the table scene with Floyd shows a rare out-of-character confident and laid-back Ash. In the presence of Floyd?! Never!

I was very concerned about the reader recognizing the old Ash when first seeing Ashley. She may be all excited about being a girl, but her nervous cluelessness remains. I ended up going back and redrawing two panels in Ashley's introduction to strengthen this impression.

For those not in the know, shoegaze is a rock subgenre that centers around noisey guitar textures, typically achieved through heavy use of effect pedals at the musicians feet; hence the name. When Ashley plays her guitar she produces a cacophony of strange sounds, the reader will have to imagine what they actually sound like, but I always imagined their opening number "I Wanna Be a Girl" to sound like a couple of amateurs trying to recreate Lush's Blackout.

The page where the band go around looking for Ashley while she's receiving her makeover was shoehorned in at a later stage for pacing purposes. That's why Gabriel is suddenly back to pulling cords after previously claiming they're all set, oops!

One of the core rules to this story is that everyone is always overly supportive of Ashley's transition no matter what. This is what makes the otherwise stern and serious Floyd especially funny, my girlfriend was pivotal in sprucing up his dialogue, adding bits like "have you seen the health care waiting lists?, "I know an endocrinologist who owes me a favor or two" and "give me 35% more danger"

Towards the end I discovered that Ashley and Debbie dancing was apparently the most important panel in the entire comic, judging by how much I tried to perfect it. (For the record, my favorite panel is when Ashley screams into the microphone that she wants to be a girl.) Maybe Ashley and Debbie dancing should've replaced the final full-page panel? Well, we got a lot of cute doodles out of it regardless. Just kiss already!

Initially I imagined Ashley to be standing alone in the "could this be the real me" final panel, but I realized her odd family of friends was equally a part of the real her. She was always right where she needed to be, she just needed to find herself within that place. (I ended up giving Ashley a cigarette because otherwise it looked like she was praying.)

Here are some ideas for the cover illustration, of course in 1:1 format to look like an album cover. Up until last minute I planned for the comic to have You Made Me Realize as its subtitle to distinguish it from eventual follow-ups, which is why the You Made Me Realize EP cover art is paraphrased in the top-middle. I ended up just going with Ashes to Ashley to keep it clean and simple. The title Ashes to Ashley was blurted out immediately by my girlfriend when I first showed her my concepts for the story. It's perfect, she's perfect.

I drew two Ashes and two Ashleys for the cover art and let my fingers smudge all over the latter. While most obviously riffing on the cover for My Bloody Valentine's Loveless, it's equally taking from the Ecstasy of Saint Theresa's Pigment.

And there you have it.

However I never intended this to be the full extent of Ashley's story, just a satisfying and complete end of a chapter. I've already finished writing the next story, Today Forever, and I hope I can get it out to you all soon enough. Your love for Ashley keeps me going.

/Kiki