#also ed as the nate actually works quite well

[dubiousculturalartifact]

i think i really want a Leverage AU for OFMD

but it would be very important to me, that if we're assigning direct role equivalents Stede cANNOT be The Nate™. listen: he has to be The Sophie™

[helloalycia]

teenage dirtbag [one] // wanda maximoff

summary: when you're paired with the most popular girl in your grade for Chemistry class, you definitely don't expect to start liking her like that...

warning/s: none i don't think??

author's note: okay so i have a ton of requests to work through but i got sidetracked and before i knew it, five parts of this imagine were written.

It's based off the song 'Teenage Dirtbag' and idk, i thought it was cute to write! Who doesn't love the popular girl!wanda and loner!reader concept?

Here’s a cover of the song to listen to because i really liked it and a girl sings it so it immediately made the song 10x more gay, just how i like it 🥰

masterlist | wattpad | part two | part three | part four | part five

"Are you all comfortable?"

The class stayed silent, watching our Chemistry teacher, Mr. Hale, as he looked to everyone with a raised brow.

"You all like who you're sat with?" he asked again, as if expecting an actual response from someone.

I exchanged questioning glances with my best friend, Y/BF/N, who was sat beside me. It was the first day back in Chemistry class of our final year of high school and we were just waiting to begin.

"Anyone?" he asked, looking around.

"Yeah," a few students mumbled in response so we could move on.

He clapped his hands together. "Great! Well, don't get too comfortable because I made a seating chart."

A chorus of groans erupted from the class, including from me and Y/BF/N. Every other class had successfully managed to not give us a seating chart. I'd heard that Mr. Hale was an awkward teacher who hated students (ironically), but I didn't think he'd stoop so low as to pair us with students who weren't our friends. These new seats were also our partners for the rest of the year and were non-negotiable, so any projects or work we did would have to be with our seat buddy. Fun.

Students began to shuffle to their newly-assigned seats reluctantly as Mr. Hale read out the chart. When Y/BF/N left my side, I frowned dramatically, waving goodbye to him.

"Wanda Maximoff, you're now partners with Y/N Y/L/N," said Mr. Hale, making me look up at the mention of my name.

I didn't get chance to register what he'd said as the aforementioned girl soon approached me, settling her bag on the table beside me. I looked up and saw Wanda Maximoff smiling my way before taking a seat on the stool.

Huh. Wanda Maximoff. She was one of the most popular girls in our grade. Everybody loved her, either wanting to be friends with her, be with her or be her. I'd personally never crossed paths with her apart from the few classes we shared. She seemed nice enough, but I guess I had preconceived notions of what she was like since she'd made the very poor decision to date the most obnoxious guy ever. Anyone making decisions that terrible definitely had a flaw.

She had a twin brother, Pietro, who was also in our grade and played on the football team alongside her boyfriend. Her parents were good friends with mine, through mutual friends, I think, as I recalled my mum mentioning 'Mrs. Maximoff's boy' or 'Mrs. Maximoff's girl'. And I remembered when her family moved into our town back in second grade.

Admittedly, Wanda was the star of the show back then, too. We were only kids, but child Y/N wasn't blind. She was the first girl I'd crushed on, an innocent child crush – the crush that made me realise I liked girls. Apart from that, and the fact that she had a locker behind me in the hallway, I never really thought about her.

I glanced behind me, catching Y/BF/N's gaze across the room as he sat beside some other kid. He frowned, implying he wished we were partners, and I knew just how he felt.

Once Mr. Hale finished assigning seats, he gave us five minutes to get to know our new partners as he struggled to find the powerpoint for today's class. If there was anything worse than getting assigned seats, it was ice breakers.

"Er, well, hi," Wanda greeted, turning to face me. Green eyes sparkled brightly behind a friendly smile. "I'm Wanda. But, I mean, we already know each other."

"That we do," I said with a nod, returning her smile. "How're you doing? Your summer go well?"

She ran a hand through her hair, adjusting herself so she was comfortable on her stool. And as she did, a waft of her perfume washed over me and I blinked, trying to ignore how nice it smelled. Floral. Subtle. It suited her.

"Good, yeah," she answered with a nod. "Could have gone on longer for all I care."

I chuckled. "I feel that. I'm definitely not ready to be back."

"Right?" she said with raised brows. "It's gonna take a while to get back into routine, that's for sure. But I guess I did miss seeing my friends everyday."

I hummed in agreement, eyes flickering to Mr. Hale as he attempted to tackle the oncoming stream of animations on his powerpoint. I tried not to laugh as I looked back to Wanda, who clearly noticed the same thing as me and stifled a smile.

"Have you had Mr. Hale before?" I asked, nodding his way.

She shook her head. "Nope. You?"

"Never."

"Sucks that he makes seating charts," she said with a sigh, before realising what she said and looking to me with panicked eyes. "Not that I don't like you or anything–!"

"It's fine, I get it," I cut her off with an amused smile. "I wanted to sit with my friend, too."

She breathed out quietly, a hint of relief in her eyes, and scrunched her nose with an apologetic smile. Okay, yeah, maybe that was kind of cute. Older Y/N wasn't blind either. Wanda Maximoff was beautiful, with long brunette locks and matching hazel eyes that seemed to change from blue to green to brown in a kaleidoscope of colour. A winning smile and soothing voice was enough for anyone to fall for her unintentional charm, but it was purely admiration. Everyone pretty much had a mild crush on her, you'd be stupid not to.

"If we're gonna be working together, d'you wanna get the whole awkward number exchange out the way now?" she asked, half joking, half not.

"I– er– sure," I stumbled out rather carelessly, before cringing internally. Where did that come from?

Thankfully, she didn't seem to pick up on it (or just saved me the embarrassment of acknowledging it) and was already writing her number on a slip of paper. Sliding it my way, she capped her pen and gave me her signature smile.

"Thanks," I said with a nod, accepting the paper and pocketing it. "Can't wait to start those lovely science projects we've got coming up!"

She let out a quiet laugh at my sarcasm. "It'll be fine. You're not dumb, right? So, we'll be fine."

"Can't promise you that," I joked, making her roll her eyes playfully.

"Maybe if we–"

But she was cut off when Mr. Hale spoke up loudly, interrupting everyone's conversations.

"Five minutes are up, let's begin!"

I wondered if everyone was thinking the same thing as me – that was not five minutes.

"So it begins...," I mumbled to myself, facing forward.

Wanda breathed out, a stifled laugh, probably having heard my comment, and I couldn't help but crack a smile. Maybe I judged her too harshly. She wasn't actually that bad.

—

Since being paired with Wanda, I was surprised by how much she'd made an effort to befriend me outside of class. We'd always been back to back with our lockers though not quite speaking, but since becoming Chemistry partners, she'd wish me a good morning if she caught me, or greet me briefly as we collected our books.

She didn't have to, but I could see why everybody liked her now. She was just genuinely nice. Due to circumstance, we'd become partners, but rather than leaving it at that, she made a genuine effort to befriend me. And not even just me, but also Y/BF/N, who was at the locker next to mine. He was as surprised as I was, expecting Wanda to mind her own business as we weren't exactly in the same social circles.

This was, I guess you could say, the start of our friendship. And it was a good one at that. I grew to learn how funny she was, how much she loved her brother, the passion she had for art and painting... she was a wonderful person. Which is why I didn't understand why she was with her boyfriend, Nate. He was a grade-A dick and everything Wanda wasn't. How were they a thing?

It sounds like I'm being a bitch and judgemental, but he really is the worst. The few unfortunate times I shared a class with him or caught sight of him around school, he was causing some sort of trouble with the teachers or picking on students in a way that made it seem like a joke but everybody knew it wasn't.

For example, there was a time when Wanda and I were studying for an upcoming Chemistry test we had. We decided to just help each other study since we already worked together in class, so knew we could motivate each other to actually put in the work. It was, maybe, the fourth studying session we had, and I was going over some notes when I felt her eyes watching me.

"You need a hand?" I asked, unable to take the staring any longer. I looked up at her, quirking a brow.

She seemed to fall out of her daydream and straightened up, eyes flickering to mine. "Huh?"

I gave her an awkward smile, unable to maintain her gaze. "You're staring."

She didn't seem fazed as I called her out, instead leaning back in her seat and continuing to study me curiously.

"Did you do something different with your hair?"

Subconsciously reaching for my hair, I straightened up my ponytail and shook my head. "No...?"

She chewed on her lip, saying after a pause, "You tied it up. You usually leave it out."

Did I? I wasn't sure. I just knew that her noticing something like that made me feel self conscious all of a sudden.

"It looks good," she decided, before offering up a small smile. "You should do it like that more often."

Quickly, I felt warm. Was it stuffy in here or was it just me? God, compliments already made me feel stupid. And compliments from pretty girls made me feel ten times that. It didn't help that she was watching me with an endearing expression, making me focus on my book before me.

"Thanks," I got out quickly. "I– yeah."

Her smile widened before she looked back down to her own book. Suddenly, I became acutely aware of the way her leg brushed up against mine under the table.

Thankfully, the strange fuzzy feeling following her compliment faded and we were able to get back to work without her tuning out again. As we were going over each other's practice questions, an annoying voice shouted from across the library.

"Wanda, head's up!"

"Hey, no talking in the library!" a librarian hissed at the voice.

Wanda and I looked up just in time for a football to smack me in the side of the head. I didn't even see it coming until I felt the thing slap my head, giving me an instant urge to strangle whoever threw it.

"Fuck," I cursed, holding my head and closing my eyes to breathe through the pain.

"Oh my God, are you okay?" Wanda's voice made me open my eyes and I saw her leaning forward, hand resting on my shoulder and the other on top of mine that was clutching my head.

"Been better," I admitted, trying to make light of the situation because as angry as I was at the idiot who threw it, I was also embarrassed because it hit me.

Wanda seemed concerned as she gently pulled me hand away, not letting go as she got a better look at the side of my face which I was sure was burning red. At least that's what it felt like.

"Shit, I'm so sorry."

I looked up and saw none other than Nate Green, Wanda's boyfriend, hovering and stifling a laugh as he looked at me. He had his stupid varsity jacket on and I was tempted to strangle him with it.

"I thought Wanda would catch it," he explained stupidly, before moving around the desk to collect his football.

Breathing out through gritted teeth, I pulled away from Wanda and nodded reassuringly. "I'll be fine. Just need an ice pack."

"You're such an idiot, Nate!" Wanda snapped, looking to him with a glare. "You need to watch what you're doing!"

He smiled sheepishly, making me roll my eyes and clench my jaw at the heat on the right side of my face. Fuck, that really hurt.

"What did you want?" Wanda asked him with a quirked brow. She definitely wasn't impressed. I'd hate to ever be on the wrong side of that condescending glare.

"I thought we could go out," he said like it was that simple.

"I'm studying," she quipped with crossed arms.

"I'm happy to wait," he said, toying with the ball in his hands.

Knowing I definitely didn't want that, I closed my books and said, "It's cool. You guys go. I think we're done here anyway."

Nate grinned. "See? S'all good."

Wanda ignored him and looked to me with worried eyes. "Y/N, are you sure?"

"You know your stuff," I said, referring to the work. "You'll be fine in the test. I'm sure."

I offered her a small, forced smile, before standing up to pack my bag. She did the same, beginning to pack her own things, but her eyes kept flittering towards me.

"D'you want me to go to the nurse's office with you?" she asked, shame laced in her voice.

"It's fine, I'll be fine," I said, hurrying up with my actions so I could just get out of here whilst I still had (some of) my dignity left. "See you in class tomorrow."

She nodded, sending a guilty smile my way. "See you tomorrow, Y/N."

Without giving either of them a look, I shouldered my backpack and left the library. Just another reminder of why Nate Green was literally the worst person ever.

—

Liking Wanda as more than a friend wasn't something that happened for a while if I'm being honest. I guess I started to enjoy her presence more and more the longer we spent time together.

I'd come to appreciate it whenever she'd say something completely out of the blue that made no sense whatsoever, or whenever she'd laugh at something I'd said that was arguably not funny but she didn't want to make me feel bad, or even whenever I teased her about something stupid she did, resulting in her doing that cute little nose scrunch she did. But I didn't think of it as liking her, more just a randomly-formed friendship that I was glad to have.

Maybe it was this misinterpretation that didn't make me see how I was acting around her, such as the time I was in the dinner queue at lunch when I realised she was stood behind me.

"Oh, hey, Y/N," she said when she noticed it was me in front of her. Her usual bright, friendly smile was on her lips as she looked to me. "You good?"

I nodded, returning her smile. "Yeah. Just getting some doughnuts for Y/BF/N and I. You?"

"Same," she said, before nudging the guy next to her, who I recognised as her brother. "Pietro and I thought we'd treat ourselves."

At the mention of his name, Pietro looked down to his sister before his gaze fell on me. A mischievous smile appeared on his lips as he put out his hand.

"Pietro Maximoff," he introduced. "You must be the Chemistry partner, Y/N, right?"

I raised my eyebrows with surprise as I shook his hand. "You, er, know who I am?"

He glanced at his sister with a cheeky smile. Wanda was avoiding both of our gazes, her cheeks dusting pink.

Clearly saving face for Wanda, he said, "We've been in the same grade since kids, right? 'Course I do."

Despite the truth to his words, something told me that wasn't how he knew who I was. Especially since I was sure I'd never spoken to him in my life. But, to save Wanda the embarrassment of clearly having spoken of me at home, I nodded to Pietro.

"Right," I agreed with an amused smile. "Duh."

I moved down the queue and grabbed two doughnuts from the display, putting them in two separate paper bags.

"Dibs the last one!" Pietro exclaimed as soon as I returned the clippers to the display. He reached around his sister immaturely and bagged the last doughnut.

Wanda rolled her eyes. "You know I can ask for more, right?"

Pietro grinned, eyes sparkling with mischief. "Go on then."

The two were twins, but they couldn't have been more different. I simply revelled in their interaction, finding it adorable.

Wanda did as she said, asking the dinner lady if there were any more doughnuts in the back. Unfortunately for her, those were the last for the day, making Pietro laugh as Wanda pouted.

"Sucks to be you," he teased her, as I paid for mine and Y/BF/N's doughnuts.

"I hate you," she mumbled playfully, but I saw the disappointment in her eyes as he lovingly but annoyingly waved his bag before her eyes.

Without even thinking much of it, I held out one of the bags in my hand. "Here. You can have mine."

Wanda looked to me with surprise. "Are you sure? I can live without a doughnut, if that's what you're thinking."

I chuckled, grabbing her hand and making her take it. "It's okay. I wasn't in the mood anyway."

Plus, you look better when you're smiling and not pouting, I added in my head.

She accepted the bag reluctantly. "I– thanks. At least let me pay for it–"

"It's just a doughnut, Wanda," I teased, before nodding her way. "See you later."

Leaving her and Pietro to it, I headed back to the table Y/BF/N was sat at and took a seat opposite him before giving him his doughnut.

"Sweet," he said, quickly opening the bag before realising I didn't have one. "Where's yours?"

Over his shoulder, I saw Wanda and Pietro taking a seat at their lunch table, doughnuts in hand and a heartwarming smile on Wanda's lips.

"They ran out," I answered Y/BF/N. "Wasn't in the mood anyway. Enjoy."

He shrugged before digging in. I'd like to say I didn't spare glances in Wanda's direction every now and then for the rest of the lunch hour, but I'd be lying if I did.

—

I'm in the art department. You okay to bring it here?

I read over the text Wanda sent me before shooting her an 'okay' and heading to the Art department. I'd grabbed her notebook in class earlier on, only realising as I was studying with Y/BF/N in the library and pulled out an extra one, so I was going to give it her back.

I guess, when you realise you like someone, it comes randomly, suddenly, without warning. Liking someone isn't instant, it's constant and gradual and subconscious. I guess I'd been falling for Wanda for a while, without even realising, but today was the day I acknowledged that fact.

The Art department wasn't somewhere I frequented regularly – give me a paint and brushes and I'd probably present you with a finger painting – but it was definitely worth the visit. Art pieces from current and past students were hung on the walls, a mural of the school was spray painted on another, and sculptures stood around. The whole department brought a smile to anyone's face with its bright colours and open space – I could see why Art students always hung out here, Wanda included.

Speaking of Wanda, I found her in one of the classrooms sat at a stool in front of a series of canvasses. The room had a few other Art students littered around, working on their own pieces during their lunch period, otherwise it was empty.

"Hey," I called, getting her attention as I approached her.

She followed my voice and straightened up with a cheery smile. "Y/N, hey. Thanks for coming. I'm working on my Art project, so I couldn't pull myself away."

I waved my hand dismissively, joining her side. "It's all good, don't worry." My eyes wandered to the series of canvases on easels she was working on and widened. "Holy shit, these are so good."

Three unfinished hyperrealistic portraits of people were before us, one whom I recognised as Pietro. The paintings were so detailed, despite their medium-size, and I couldn't imagine how long they must have taken.

"You think?" she asked, glancing between them. "I think I messed up the nose here." She pointed with the back end of her paintbrush to the nose of Pietro. "It's a bit bent."

I almost laughed as I looked to her with disbelief. "Are you kidding? Wanda, these are amazing. How did you even do this?"

She looked down bashfully, a nervous smile on her lips. "I don't know. It's for a project. I chose to do family portraits." She pointed to each one as she said, "My mum, my dad and my brother."

I was in awe of her talent, jaw dropped with amazement still. I always knew she was an artist, but I'd never actually seen her work. I was starting to wish I'd come here a lot sooner.

"So, you got my notebook?" she asked, pulling me back into reality.

I looked away from the paintings reluctantly before getting her notebook from my bag and holding it out for her. As she accepted it, she must have forgotten she was holding her paintbrush as the tip brushed my wrist, leaving a swipe of red there.

"Oh, my bad," she said with a laugh, before setting her notebook and brush down and grabbing a paper towel from beside her.

Wetting it with water from her bottle, she pressed it to my wrist and swiped the paint away. It was such a mundane action, but the way her fingers gently held my wrist and emanated a warmth only she seemed to carry sent shivers down my spine.

I glanced up at her, letting her do it, and noticed the swipe of paint she had across her cheek, as if she'd touched her face without realising.

Now that I paid attention, I noticed how cute she looked in her Art getup. An old, oversized shirt covered in paint was being worn to cover her clothes, sleeves loosely rolled up to her elbows. Her long hair was tied back into a ponytail, but her baby hairs framed her forehead adorably.

When her hair wasn't in her face, her eyes only seemed more intense, glistening with excitement and happiness. I almost forgot to breathe when they met mine briefly, a hint of embarrassment there from when cleaning me up. She was in her element here and it made sense to me now.

I knew I'd fallen for her.

—

"You don't get it," I was saying to Y/BF/N as we hung about the school gym, waiting for the teacher to start the lesson. "It's bad. I like her. Like, like like her."

Y/BF/N laughed, clapping me on the back with pity. "You're screwed."

I frowned. "I know."

As he stretched for class, he continued, "I mean, I get it, I do. She's super nice. Pretty. And you guys seem to get on."

I chewed on my lower lip worriedly.

He gave me a knowing look. "There's one problem though."

I groaned, running a hand down my face. "I know, I know. She's got that dick of a boyfriend."

He chuckled. "That's one way to put it."

I sighed, crossing my arms with annoyance. Since realising I liked Wanda as a little more than a friend, things weren't going well for me. Whenever we worked together, I'd forget what I was thinking because I was too busy admiring her side profile or getting lost in her eyes. If she spoke about the work, told a joke or was simply speaking her thoughts aloud, I'd focus on every little thing she was saying, knowing I could listen to her speak all day. It was bad, but thankfully I hadn't stumbled over my words or made a total fool of myself in front of her. I was determined to not let it get that far.

My eyes wandered around the gym as Y/BF/N tried to give me advice, but admittedly, his words flew in one ear and out the other when I caught sight of Wanda.

She was standing with her friends, smiling and laughing to whatever they were saying. Like everyone else in here, she was wearing her gym kit – black athletic shorts and a blue and white tee shirt, the colour of our school. It wasn't anything special, yet she made it seem that way, outdoing anyone in here. Her brown hair was tied back, the ponytail falling down her back, showing her stunning profile and making my mouth go dry.

Another clap on the back from Y/BF/N pulled me from my reverie and I looked to see he was laughing at me.

"Majorly screwed," he corrected his previous comment.

He was definitely right.

[danses-with-dogmeat]

Introducing My Fallout OCs!

OMGGGG y’all, I can’t. I’ve apparently reached over 200 of you fantabulous followers and I am so ecstatic! I honestly don’t even know if this is considered a milestone or anything, but I was super psyched, so I'm doing something about it, dang it!

Also, just a heads up on me right now, I just started school again, so my posting miiiiiiight be a bit sporadic every now and then, but I’m determined to still try and get a few posts out every week, so we’ll see how that goes. I’m also pretty backed up on requests at the moment, I’m still accepting them for the time being, but I may turn off my asks if I’m finding difficulty getting to everyone.  

Anyways, I know I don’t ever really talk about my Fallout Original Characters, but I’m thinking of doing some stuff with them in the future, so this seemed like a good place to start  🤷‍♀️ So, here they are! One from each of the 3 FO games I write for. If ya’ll want to send in any asks about these folks, please feel free to do so! 

(Art for these peeps is pending potentially as well).

My Lone Wanderer: Hope

Appearance: 

- Basically like a black-haired, blue eyed Sarah Connor (y’know, from Terminator), she’s got a small frame, but is an absolute beast. She loves to change up her hair, but prefers the iron maiden, unladylike, or rude ridge styles and will often dye it bright-ass colors, cuz why not? She’s pretty pale considering the vault background and the fact she is constantly wearing full body combat or leather armor when she’s outdoors, and she has a few piercings she actually got before leaving the vault. 

What’s in a Name: 

- “Hope” was the name that her parents chose for her before she was even born, but she can’t stand it, she just tends to see it as a cruel joke in the world they live in. She instead goes by Effie (short for Ephialtes, cuz she’s edgy and dramatic and read too much in school). Hope tends not to tell anyone her real name, and if she does, you’d best not use it to refer to her, unless you like being enslaved. The only one who could ever get away with it is Jericho and a select few people from the vault (Stanley, and her father, but she’s still not happy about it.)

Sexuality: 

- Pansexual

Main Companion: 

- Jericho

Relationship(s): 

- She has a sort of “friends with benefits” type situation going with Jericho, but it ends up getting... complicated, and turning somewhat into a relationship.

Bestie(s):

- Even though he’s her boss, Hope likes to hang out with Eulogy when she’s in Paradise Falls. When she was in the vault, she spent a lot of time with Stanley, and was pretty close with Butch, Wally, and Paul as well. 

Fam Dam: 

- James and Catherine are/were her parents (obviously). But she also considered Stanley to be a sort of uncle to her. 

Karma: 

- Oh, the worst. She’s honestly awful. She steals, she murders, she enslaves, she blows up settlements, all of it. She’s got a lot of things she needs to work out...

Faction of Choice: 

- The Slavers of Paradise Falls. (Yeah... she sucks.) The Brotherhood and the Outcasts just never really struck her fancy, and her and Jericho found it was easy to make bank with the slavers. Hope also is a friend to Allistair Tenpenny and Mister Burke... and not the folks in Megaton. Cuz they’re all not really alive.

Vault Occupation: 

- Engineer

Fun Fact!:  

- Hope is really bad with empathy, and absolutely needs to experience something for herself before she can make any sort of judgement on it, or other people who have had that same experience.

My Courier Six: Sage

Appearence: 

- Sage doesn’t really consider herself very “flashy” in comparison to most folks in NV. She’s got shoulder length brown hair (blast back or clean cut style) and brownish-hazel eyes. She’s pretty damn tan (Mojave, you know) and doesn’t have many scars, but the ones on the right side of her forehead clearly indicate where she was shot in the head (thanks, Benny). She and Boone tend to twin quite a bit, with matching red berets and sunglasses.

What’s in a Name: 

- The poor girl has no clue what her real name was before she was shot, but she saw a box of labelled herbs in Doc Mitchell’s house when she was recovering from her headwounds and decided she liked the name “Sage.”

Sexuality: 

- Bisexual

Main Companion: 

- Craig Boone

Relationship: 

- Also Boone :) it’s a pretty darn slow-burn romance with lots of bumps along the way, but their love always seems to prevail. (Gross and sappy, I know)

Bestie(s): 

- Arcade, plus Rex, and ED-E. Also Victor and Doc Mitchell.

Fam Dam: 

- No clue, unfortunately. She eventually tries to find out something about her past and her family, if she has any, but she’s got a few things to deal with first (hint, one rhymes with pleaser’s fleegion).

Karma: 

- She may make mistakes along the way, but Sage really does try her best to be as good as possible. 

Faction of Choice: 

- Mr. House and the Followers of the Apocalypse. Would like to get rid of House, but can't bring herself to become responsible for everything once he's gone. She considers herself his personal empathy and tries to assist with the goings on of the Mojave even after the battle of hoover dam. Fucking wiped out everyone in the Legion. Her and Boone are a force to be reckoned with. And she never really cared much for the Brotherhood since she had such little interaction with them. She has a good relationship with Freeside and most of the settlements/other towns as well.

Previous Occupation: 

- Courier? She has no idea what else. But she’s oddly really good with medicine 🤔

Fun Fact!: 

- She supports Mr. House for a number of reasons, but one of the biggest is that she doesn't want to lose Victor. He saved her, and she considers the securitron to be her oldest friend (besides Doc Mitchell). She knows it's a little selfish, but she can't bring herself to put an end to him after he pulled her from her own grave and helped bring her back from the brink of death.

My Sole Survivor: Jolene Arvanidis-Ryan

Appearence: 

- She’s got auburn hair she usually keeps cut short (clean cut) or in a bun, green eyes, pale skin with a good amount of freckles and has exceptionally straight teeth (braces suck, but you know.) When traveling with Cait, people tend to think they’re related. Jolene tends to wear a black beret and, if she has the time and resources, she likes cat eye style eyeliner. 

What’s in a Name: 

- Her first name runs in the family... plus her dad really liked Dolly Parton, so that helped cement the first name for him. Nate’s last name was Arvanidis, and she tends to use that as her last name exclusively, she rarely reveals her maiden name (Ryan) to anyone. 

Sexuality: 

- Straight

Main Companion: 

- Paladin Danse

Relationship: 

- It takes a long time (post BB), but she ends up being with Danse. 

Bestie(s): 

- MacCready and Cait

Fam Dam:  

- Pre-war, her father was a carpenter and her mother was a major in the US military, she had no siblings and was very close with her father since her mom was often away on deployment. 

Karma: 

- Decent. Tries her best to do what’s “right,” but she sometimes has a hard time determining what that is. Is good at following orders, even if she doesn’t always agree with them (BB is the exception in this case).

Faction of Choice: 

- Brotherhood of Steel, at least until BB, then she tends to focus more on the Minutemen, but still stays by the BOS’s side when it comes to taking down the Institute. Despite her loyalty to the BOS, she always regrets what she did to the Railroad, and how she ended things with the Institute, and she holds quite a bit of resentment towards Elder Maxson for ordering her to pull the trigger that ended her son’s life, and the other lives within the Institute. 

Previous Occupation (Pre-War): 

- She was a Gunnery Sergeant in the US Military. (Trying to follow in her mother’s footsteps).

Fun Fact!: 

- She hates killing feral ghouls, but keeps it under wraps since she tends to travel with MacCready and Danse the most. After that random encounter where she found herself murdering her own neighbors, she can’t bring herself to look into the eyes of any feral ghouls she has to kill. 

Bonus! Fun Fact!:  

- She started out as my sort of "throw away" playthrough where I wanted to do a BOS run, just out of curiosity, but she ended up being my main playthrough… probably because Danse is just the best and I can't get enough of that tin can thesaur-ass.

[blairwaldcrf]

The Kids are Alright (Are We?) - Nate/Dan/Blair

ao3... gossip girl au. chapter 1/?

summary: when two children get detention together they never expect to unlock a secret their parents have kept (both knowingly and unknowingly)

i.e. Dan Humphrey and Blair Waldorf are disaster characters but I love them and so does Nate.

......

Sometimes Dan Humphrey wished he had made his morning coffee an Irish more than others, and this is one of them. Having finally gotten halfway into an op-ed he was supposed to finish by the end of the week, he had thought the day was going great. A phone call from the Principal of his daughter’s private grade school didn’t agree. Clarissa, adopted daughter of Dan and Nate Humphrey-Archibald, was a beautiful tiny nine year old girl with terrifying intelligence and aptitude for trouble. Maybe it was in the name, the ones the likes of Virginia Woolf and Samuel Richardson had waxed poetic on, but she was the kind of force Dan was all too familiar with. It was why he had fallen in love with her at the agency before they had even decided on the age of the child to adopt.

When he and Nate had gotten her a place in this prestigious school Clarissa had been a model student for the first semester. Any layman who had read even just one article on child psychology would say she was trying to prove her worth to her new parents, but when she had settled into the easy enveloping love that both her fathers and the extended Humphrey family gave, she changed. She became more herself, arguing with teachers about the quality of their class material-- at nine-- which Dan’s father liked to remind him was the age Dan had as a child. Before the year had even finished she had tested well out of third and into fifth grade. No longer met with educational boredom, she had instead turned to social approval and pranks to win over her classmates who thought she was a baby in comparison to their ripe old age of ten and eleven years old.

So now, on top of writing op-eds and working on his second novel, he had to volunteer on the PTA committee and make donations about once a week so his daughter wasn’t kicked out of the school that cost him and his husband Nate as much as community college tuition.

This time it was a prank that involved the teacher’s bathroom that required him to drive to the school office and deal with Principal Pipton, quite possibly the most annoying and frustrating woman Dan had ever had the misfortune of meeting. If he lived a different life he would very much wish to have gone into education and ousted her from the school himself.

Nicole, the young front desk attendant for the school, was nice enough to give him a sympathetic smile as she waved him back into the larger Principal office when he arrived. Nate was standing on the side of the chair Clarissa sat in across from Pipton’s desk, but there was an unfamiliar presence of two more in the room. From the look of things, Clarissa had finally found herself an accomplice.

Instagram models would have been jealous of the probable mother in the room, her blonde hair longer and shinier than anything short of a celebrity could accomplish. She was tall even without the heels she was sporting or the fashionable outfit that went along with it, but her and her child looked nothing alike.

The kid was probably the younger side of third grade but had no air of confidence about him as he sat in the chair too large for his frame. Physically, he reminded Dan of a younger version of himself. Mess of brown curls, big brown eyes, and pale skin. He wondered how on earth his daughter had convinced such an obviously straight laced kid to pull off a big prank. God knew that there wasn’t anyone who could have done it to him back in the day.

“Sherry,” Dan greeted the Principal congenially. The woman gave a dazzling smile that betrayed the clear annoyance given in the tight way she returned his handshake. “Let’s get this through, shall we?”

Nate sent him a warning glare at the slight-- it wasn’t Dan’s fault he always came off sarcastic to Nate’s amiability-- but the corners of Nate’s mouth still flickered with the same exhausted acceptance they had reached. Unfortunately Clarissa had caught the exchange and smirked, dark brown hair pulled out of her braid and wild as it always was. Despite the hours Dan had spent learning how to do hair from both his sister and online tutorials. When they both gave her unamused looks she turned back around and ignored them, grinning as she did so with the same charming smile that seemed genetically similar to Nate’s.

“Well normally we’d go through the usual routine with Ms. Clarissa here,” the Principal began. “But this time there isn’t any way she accomplished the feat alone and her dragging one of our star students like Eliot into trouble just isn’t acceptable.”

“Clarissa scores in the top of her class,” Dan replied, the edge not quite out of his tone. “I understand that she can cause trouble but implying that she’s tainting--,”

“What Dan means--,” Nate interrupted. “Was that we agree that her pranks are immature and need to stop, but that everyone should be accountable for their own actions. It would be unlike Clarissa to bully anyone into going along with her.”

Now it was the mother of said accomplice’s turn to talk, and she had a warm voice and a gentle calming hand on her kid’s shoulder. Instead of looking at the principal-- Pipton looked offended by this-- she turned to her kid and gave a small conspiring whisper. “Please tell me you actually let loose for once.”

Staring at his feet instead of any of the adults, Eliot admitted, “Yeah, I helped her.”

The woman grinned, much to Principal Pipton’s dismay. “I’m sure his mother Blair would have something different to say about that.”

Even though it had been years, Dan found himself having a pull in his chest at the name of the first girl to break his heart. Luckily it wasn’t a common occurrence, the name not quite popular. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t also had almost ten years to get over it.

“And I apologize that she’s busy defending a client in court.” Was the suddenly serious response, even if it held a gentle quality. “But since she’s not here, I’m sure we’ll be fine with whatever punishment you deem necessary for a ten year old.”

Nate barely veiled a chuckle as a cough in his throat but Dan couldn’t quite manage to purse his lips enough to cover his smirk.

Principal Sherry Pipton sent them off with detention for the children and heavy disapproval for the parents, and as they walked out of the office and past the front desk Dan does the most impulsive thing he’s done in ages and asks Eliot’s guardian, “What’s Eliot’s mother’s last name?”

She regarded him with confused surprise as most people would, but tentatively answered, “Waldorf. Why?”

Throat tightening as he stopped in his tracks, he gave a fake and dismissive smile. “Just don’t hear the name often.” Nate narrowed his eyes now, holding Clarissa’s hand as they all stalled.

“Dad, come on.” Clarissa complained. “I want to go home and read Dickinson now.”

“You read poems?” Eliot asked her, both kids oblivious to the emotional storm Dan was on the brink of showing. “What kind--,”

“Let’s go, Dan.” Nate interrupted, picking up on the seriousness. “It was nice to meet you all.”

Blair Waldorf . The girl that shattered his heart into so many pieces he hadn’t been able to let anyone pick them up except for Nate years later-- and that was only because he had never expected Nate to begin with. He’s numb as he follows his family out of the school and into the cab, barely making small talk as Nate covers for him by taking Clarissa’s attention. Eleven years. Eleven years had gone by since he had heard her name and now their worlds were colliding again because of their school children? I mean how had Blair even managed to have a ten year old?

Oh.

[lanajvmeson]

emerges frm a field of corn slinking in w a faux mink shrug dangling around my elbows n a strand of wheat between my teeth..... farmer eleganza.... hlo! my name’s nai. i am bt a humble ghoul arrived to haunt ur home. 23 n she/her pronouns n i live in manchester. fun fact my friend’s neighbour used to b harry styles PE teacher. i played delilah yrs ago as carlson young (n even cara delevingne at one point what the fk) which feels so weird n ancient to me nw bt i missed her a lot so decided to spruce her bk to life.... ANYWAY delilah’s pinterest is here n i’ll jst leap right into things without further ado

(NICOLA PELTZ, CIS-FEMALE) - Have you seen DELILAH ASTOR? LILAH is in HER JUNIOR year. The POLITICAL SCIENCE MAJOR is 21 years old & is a CAPRICORN. People say SHE is BEGUILING, BLUNT, CUNNING and APATHETIC. Rumors say they’re a member of CALLOWAY. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE WAS IN A REHABILITATION CENTRE IN SWITZERLAND INSTEAD OF DOING CHARITY WORK LIKE HER SOCIAL MEDIA CLAIMED.  (NAI. 23. GMT. SHE/HER.) 

HISTORY

their family is kind of modelled off the sedgwick family like old money n pretty dysfunctional bt all abt keeping up a seamless facade of perfection... with a pinch of the kennedy’s in there. her dad’s high up in politics n his dad before tht ws in politics n it’s just a long prestigious line of clones in expensive suits as far as delilah’s concerned. her dad i picture as like.... nate archibald’s grandfather in gossip girl.... personality wise.

for as long as she cn remember she’s found this cookie cutter white picket fence life boring. stifling. to delilah it’s like being hemmed in a stuffy room n forbidden frm opening a window. it’s all vry Rich People Problems i wnt lie bt <3 she feels everlastingly bored. All The Time. plus her family hs always been a focal point fr tabloids etc which doesn’t help this feeling of not rly Living but just being the focus of a spectator sport. they’re lowkey a bit of a household name so they get a bunch of scrutiny n......... well. new bullet point alert! cue a powerpoint transition

(self harm & depression tw) frm being young delilah always knew there ws sort of. a white noise inside her where everyone else saw a technicolour movie screen. it rly hit her at like 12 i’d say as she was jst coasting towards adolescence. it ws pretty obvious frm her behaviour i’d say bt her parents only became Aware it ws a problem when she stuck a fork into a socket n short circuited the power in the house. she got shocked unconscious n when she woke up she told the in house dr they’d called (to keep it under wraps frm outsiders) tht she just.... couldn’t feel anything. she’d been reading frankenstein (she’s always liked gothic literature) n thought it’d zap her to life like the monster

her parents got her on medication n figured that wld fix everything. they didn’t like to talk abt things and that was that. it wasn’t to be mentioned again

delilah’s parents r just very.... sterile. family is abt appearances. they’ll be all smiles n flowing conversation when ppl are around bt it feels like being an actress n reading frm a script. being a toy in a dollhouse

she had two siblings: an older sister named clara & a younger brother named elijah. clara ws always like.... the Dream daughter. did everything right. amazing grades. america’s sweetheart. LOVED by the press. did sm charity work. elijah was fine/kind of a slacker compared bt coasted by on athletic prowess (captain of the rowing team). delilah hs very much always been the anomaly in this idyllic line-up. middle child effect! altho having said tht she’s always ran w the popular crowd of her age group bc Rich + Pretty = Status. it’s all quite superficial n delilah’s attitude on the matter can b summed up w this photoset. having said tht there was Some merit in constantly being paraded around as “such a pretty thing” bc a few modelling agencies attempted to scout her bt delilah found that boring. she wants to b called brilliant not beautiful. her mother called this her “not playing to the advantages that god gave her”. with a tight-lipped smile and a “god forbid i use my brain”, delilah only disappointed her further <3

(drugs & ed tw) delilah gt pretty heavy into partying fr the sake of trying to Feel something. intense on the drugs front (coke n prescription pills). rarely eating. she got a silver broach of a swan tht she pins to most of her clothes n u can unscrew the swan’s neck n pull it out to reveal a little powder spoon. still wears this today. clara n delilah were always super close n clara wld cover fr her a bunch. making up lies n jst having her back to their parents if they ever asked where she was / she ws in trouble n needed to keep it under wraps. when delilah hd an article in a tabloid pretty mch like this one clara talked their parents dwn frm sending her to a rehabilitation centre in switzerland. they gt it pretty much scorched frm existence bt delilah kept a clipping bc honestly she thought it was funny hw pale her mother went abt it

(car accident & drunk driving & death tw) at a fancy benefit the astors were all attending among 4857925974 uppity families delilah wound up heading off w some of the rich kids n one thing lead to another n a couple of them gt arrested fr a coke scandal. delilah used her phone call to contact clara n fr once clara hd let loose a little n hd something to drink bt still drove to the station to bail delilah out n try n fix her mess bt.... skipped a red light n crashed. she died upon impact.

(hospitalisation & drugs & addiction tw) this made delilah spiral massively obviously.... she clung on by the skin of her teeth fr a while bt she rly was just getting quite out of control doing an extremely excessive amt of coke to get by at this point so her parents actually did.... end up shipping her off to switzerland for rehabilitation. they didn’t tell anyone this tho n as far as ppl were/are aware she was doing charity work with habitat for humanity in trinidad. her parents literally........... hired ppl to take photos of things there n a social media team posted them to her instagram account jst. the most elaborate lie.... it’s a lot.

delilah jst pretty much went along w whatever they said at the facility bt didn’t absorb any of it too much.... she did get sober there bt it was vry much bc she had no other choice rather than a want to......... she even pretended to “find god” while she ws there n memorised bible lines to recite w a coolly detached smile. in her head she ws probably thinking abt hw her mandated therapist cld gladly eat shit and she’d be happy to watch. it was just like.... everyone there was RLY hideously overpaid bt did they actually Care abt their work or patients? debatable. wasn’t the most healing experience thru delilah’s eyes bt... maybe it’d work better if she’d actually opened her mind to it bt anyway...... <3 cornelius fudge voice: she’s back. the dark lord.....

PERSONALITY:

nw tht her history is out of the way i’ll leap like a flea off a shaggy dog’s back into personality! aesthetically she almost ALWAYS wears white/cream. reminds me of the woman in white frm sharp objects. rarely she’ll dabble in silver or gold or like..... vry pale green bt.... always muted tones. usually white or cream. big white sunhats. white sunglasses. white pussybow blouses w a little white skirt n a pearl barrette in her hair. she even smokes white sobranie cigs tht r imports like it’s a lot she’s truly committed to the aesthetic.... paired w like. classic patent mary janes.... she tends to flutter around the place like a silk moth. likes lace too. hs a very put together image n even demeanour like she’s very lithe n graceful n drifts like a ghost which kind of contrasts w... who she is at her core bt in the astor family it’s all abt appearances <3 the only deviation from this is she sometimes wears dark blue mascara once in a blue moon n if ppl comment on this she’s like. idk what ur talking abt? glides away like a ghost in a haunted mansion n is never seen again.

very perceptive. incredibly observant. yrs of early life media training n being born frm politicians means she’s an excellent liar. she knows ppl n knows what makes them tick bt she’ll only use this when necessary. she isn’t a terrible person bt she knows how to b Very mean n will equip this as a weapon shd a situation call fr it. also more prone to lashing out since her sister......... she hs sometimes played chess games socially fr kicks

dark n biting sense of humour. rather frank abt things. VERY ruthless when scorned bt she isn’t particularly?? emotive abt it??? her bf cheated on her once n when he told her she slapped him rly hard in front of sm ppl he knew n then jst walked away. blocked him on literally everything. removed him frm the face of the earth as far as she ws concerned. had him blacklisted frm every event n told ppl they’d be cut too if they continued to associate w him. goodbye sir <3 u are the weakest link <3 needless to say he regretted it <3

very loyal to u until she isn’t. finds it very easy to cut ties if need be. once her trust is broken it is gooooone baby goone.... the trust is Gone. selective in who she cares abt

vry cavalier abt sex. she doesn’t sleep around hugely i dnt think??? bt when she does it isn’t often tht emotionally invested she’ll jst out of the blue very nonchalantly blow out a wisp of smoke n b like. so u want to fuck me then? cool. proceeds to get up as if she’s walking to leave n then looks bk n is like what do ur legs not work? follow me. n leads them somewhere

nothing rly.... moves her particularly. she isn’t very animated. it’s like she jst finds the entire world thoroughly unimpressive. it’s difficult to stimulate excitement from her. it’s like that hugh laurie quote where he realised he had depression bc “boredom is not an appropriate response to exploding cars”.

has a pet swan bk at home she’s named lilith inspired by satan’s offspring. lilith bites ppl if they get close n is honestly an abomination of a bird. delilah finds her funny n throws her bits of croissants sometimes bt even she isn’t immune to her pecks. in some ways they’re similar...... hv a graceful surface appearance / aesthetic bt a darker attitude beneath the surface

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

exes: the ex bf tht cheated on her n she got blacklisted from 94872347 social events cld be a fun thing to explore..... delilah wld be EXTREMELY cold towards him n honestly want him dead. wouldn’t show any shred of caring abt him at all she’s very gd at stoning her emotions n keeping them inside. hasn’t cried since her sister died as an example of how..... withdrawn she is from confessing her innermost thoughts n desires. maybe an ex bf before tht that she rly didn’t take seriously at all..... typically she just isn’t interested/invested in romance she’s vry apathetic abt it all

party friends: those tht run in similar rich kid circles tht she would have smuggled off with at fancy events so they could let loose.......... ppl tht r completely her opposite who she finds interesting bc they represent everything she always wanted outside the oppression of her strict regiment family....... mutual bad influences tht are heavy into drugs n always enable each other...... u name it!

hook-ups: she doesn’t have a HUGE amt of these bt.... maybe a select handful.... some she wld have hooked up w once n never again n just been like >_> if they implied they shd as if it was preposterous n she was thoroughly over it.... some maybe she’d find interesting enough to extend beyond tht...... none she’d invest in if she cld help it altho? maybe someone as an exception to tht rule cld be fun

friends of her sister: (death tw) clara was universally well liked for being rly sweet n well intentioned n she attended yates only two yrs delilah’s senior so she might have some connections here still somehow??? cld be angsty to work with

i won’t lie i’m rly hungry as i write up these wcs so my brain’s going blank n i’m gna have to sprint to get some toast bt <3 roommates, enemies, competitive friendships, resentments, angst, chaos, drama, strife, u name it n i am dwn!!!! hits post n takes off galloping dwnstairs

[aviewfromtheclouds25]

Do you think Robron are aware that they are soulmates? They've never used the term, but they have described each other in ways that suggest they are aware that they are.

Oh, they know.

I think Robert’s self-assuredness about their future (which I’m just going to keep marvelling at right now because it’s just amazing, bless) makes him quite vocal about it without directly saying the word, whereas I think Aaron is less inclined to verbalise the depth of their love because he’s so in awe of it - “I love you so much I just don’t know what to do with it sometimes.“

Although I always feel like Robron were quite often written more like a movie couple than a soap couple, I still think the whole soulmate term is one soaps would be inclined to shy away from due to the nature of the genre in that actors will eventually leave etc. They have to always keep that awareness that they might have to evolve storylines and characters differently to how they had perhaps envisioned, because the soap landscape changes so often. However, that soulmate status is literally in all the action and the dialogue Robert and Aaron have shared over the past five years.

One thing I’ll always come back to is SSW and that car… The fact is they would each die for the other, they both value the other’s life so much more than their own. The notion of soulmates is that they’re two halves which together make a whole, right? Well, that’s exactly what Robron are and they proved that in that car when they were willing to die for each other. (“Everything I Do (I Do It For You)” springs to mind as the soulmate soundtrack! “I’d fight for you / I’d lie for you / Walk the wire for you / Yeah, I’d die for you” :P) And as vast as their differences may be, they’re ultimately also incredibly similar. Which truly makes them two sides of the same coin.

If we think back to how it all started, their connection was so strong and intense right from the start. It wasn’t the conventional lust of a soap affair. It was so much more than that. And Robert has since said that what he felt was love at first sight.

I could go on and on about all the ways their actions have shown how deep their love is, but instead I’m going to stay at the start of the affair, at that monumental lay-by, and pinpoint the dialogue (as much as I can remember without doing a rewatch!) which is them absolutely confirming how unique their love is - unique to ED because they were written so differently to any other couple, but also unique to Robron themselves because that’s exactly what a soulmate is - without ever expressly saying the word. So…

“You know why we’re both still here.” - The intensity of that initial connection… This isn’t a regular affair like Nate and Moira *okay that wasn’t exactly regular either ahem* with a massive lead-up showing how much they wanted each other. Why were they both still there? Because they couldn’t not be. Because being anywhere else just didn’t make sense. Because it felt right. Because they both felt that connection, like an invisible string between them. One that hasn’t left them since…

“If I lost you, Aaron, I couldn’t handle it.” - How many times has Robert said this over the years? But that very first time was during the affair, when he had his “perfect life”, everything he’d spent years working towards… But it wasn’t “enough”. Because he loved Aaron, and couldn’t watch him suffer… And his entire focus was on keeping Aaron safe, even if that meant he ended up spending years in prison… *I’m totally not emotional over the fact that now he actually is spending years in prison and has given Aaron up because still his focus is on Aaron’s wellbeing more than his own*

“He was the one who kept me going! I could have just closed my eyes and given up, but I didn’t… Because of him.” - I talked about the fact that they value each other’s life more than their own. They’ve both had issues with self-hate and a lack of self-worth etc during their lives, but again it was during even the affair when Aaron basically implied that at that time Robert was his reason for living, that he saved him and gave him a purpose…

“I wish that was all I cared about.” - Robert literally could not stop himself from loving Aaron, no matter how much easier he thought it would make his life at the time… And this whole lodge breakdown obviously leads to that wonderful moment in the woods during SSW which all began with…

“He’s the sort of person you want to be… And to be with.” - Do I really need to say anything about this line? Do I? He’s the sort of person you want to be… Verbal acknowledgement of how much they’ve each helped the other grow, pushing them to be the best version of themselves… The way they have always inspired each other to believe in themselves…

“I believe in you.” - Because even when they couldn’t believe in themselves, the other always did…

“I still see you like that. I always will. […] I’ll wait for you. ‘Til you’re ready.” - Always. Robert is literally saying he’ll never be interested in anyone else as long as Aaron’s in his life…

“You know.” / “I know.” - There is so much more depth of meaning to this than the conventional ILY’s of other couples, like the words will never actually be enough… And it doesn’t just indicate the depth of their love, it also alludes to the level of connection they have in their souls… They know each other, they understand each other. They accept the other for who he is and they embrace him for it…

“I know you.” - *Translation: I love you, unconditionally, for better or worse, forever. There is no one but you…*

“How do we not mess this up when it’s forever?” / “I don’t want easy. I want messed up. With you. Forever.” - For better or worse, whatever the future holds…

“No one else comes close. And never will.” - Never.

“You’re amazing.” - Aaron’s so in awe of Robert and it genuinely crushes him that Robert doesn’t see that in himself…

“I love you. I never stopped.” - Aaron hated Robert at one stage, but it never stopped him loving him too…

“I love you. And I always will.” - Always. Always. Always.

“We deserve a happy ending…” - Because there is no story beyond these two being together… They’re not just a chapter in each others’ lives, they’re the whole damn novel…

“However… Wherever…” - No matter what…

“I can’t see my future without him in it.” - Because…

“He’s everything.” - His whole world…

“I just want to be myself now. With you.” - Because the notion of soulmates is that they’re two halves which together make a whole… And Robert’s love for Aaron is what made him finally able to understand, and accept, his own half… Because he finally knew what the ‘whole’ looked like…

[fanforthefics]

For the AU game. Bodyguard AU or Teacher AU for Tyson/Gabe??

1) Everyone knows of the Great Rivalry.

At least, everyone at Avalanche High does. It’s one of the first things Freshmen are filled in on. These are the edible meals from the cafeteria, these are the bathrooms not to go into if you don’t want a contact high, and also, if you ever want to stop Mr. Barrie’s Chem class for ten minutes, ask him about the time Mr. Landeskog stole all his pens. That will get you at least ten minutes of ranting about humanities teachers who think they’re too good for logic and rationality and like to nitpick other people’s grammar and the time it takes to grade and fashion choices and who definitely think they’re better than everyone else just because they happen to be good at everything. He might go a bit into his perfect hair, but take takes a particularly windswept day.

Of course, if you want to delay Mr. Landeskog’s class, you can ask about the time Mr. Barrie put a stink bomb in his classroom so he had to have class outside all day. He can’t prove it was Mr. Barrie and his homeroom, but that won’t stop him snapping about it and ridiculous science teachers who don’t understand nuance and purposefully misinterpret everything and never take things seriously. If you catch him at the right moment, and ask about Mr. Barrie’s habit of bringing in cookies for his classes, Mr. Landeskog might skip a beat, but it usually won’t get you a longer rant, so it’s not useful.

This is the Great Rivalry. This is Avalanche High’s favorite drama. (This is Nathan Mackinnon’s, long-suffering Phys Ed teacher, greatest bane).

2) Tyson definitely really does hate Gabe. He tells Nate that, over and over again. Partly because he doesn’t trust that anyone can actually be that hot and smart and good a teacher and so loved by the kids and look so good in the shorts he wears when he’s coaching field hockey. He has to be faking all of that. Tyson is sure he is, in fact, because the polite, charming face he puts on around literally everyone else somehow always falls with Tyson.

“Maybe because you’re mean to him too?” Nate suggests, as they sit in the teacher’s lounge eating the brownies Tyson brought in because it was easier to bake than to grade.

Tyson glances over to the table wear Gabe is sitting with some of the other humanities teachers, laughing loudly. “I’m not mean.” Nate raises an eyebrow. “I’m not meaner to him than anyone else,” Tyson amends, because fine, he can be sarcastic, what the fuck ever. Nate’s eyebrow stays up.

Because Tyson doesn’t want to see that judgy eyebrow (Nate really shouldn’t through stones if he’s living in the mean house too), he looks around again, somehow settles on where Gabe is. Gabe’s not laughing anymore, and somehow he looks over at the same time, catches Tyson’s eye. He raises his eyebrows, all dripping condescension. Tyson makes a face back.

“You only prank him.”

“I do not—”

“So, Tyson. I hear your kids are going to Science Olympiad this year.” Tyson doesn’t need to know who’s standing there, because he recognizes the voice, the tone, and also the trim torso, but he looks up anyway. Gabe’s standing there, looking down his aristocratic nose at Tyson. “First time?”

Tyson flushes. He’s proud of his kids for that, it’s a pretty new program and they’ve all been working their asses off. Gabe doesn’t need to say it like that, like he let them down because they didn’t get qualify before. “Yes,” he retorts, trying and probably failing to let that show on his face. “How’s the field hockey team doing?”

It’s a low blow because they all know that it was a pretty devastating loss last week, and one of Tyson’s Olympiad team is on the field hockey team and she’d been in literal tears when they lost, and Tyson had just been getting ready to go over to the bench to maybe say something when Gabe had found her and talked to her until she sniffled and smiled a little. But still. Gabe shouldn’t insult Tyson’s team if he’s not ready to be insulted.

Gabe clearly isn’t ready to be insulted, because he flushes a dull red. “We’re rallying,” he replies, cooly, and reaches down for one of the brownies on the table. Tyson grabs the brownies away.

“These are for people who don’t give my team shit,” he tells Gabe. “No cookies until you can recite the quadratic formula.”

“Then why does Nate get them?” Gabe asks, and Nate makes an offended noise but doesn’t disagree. Gabe grins at Nate, easy and handsome in a way he never is with Tyson.

“That’s the Dogg exception,” Tyson says, and Gabe turns back to Tyson, that smile freezing on his face. It’s fine. Tyson doesn’t care that Gabe never looks at Tyson like that. “It’s a narrow one.”

“Sure it is,” Gabe agrees. He knocks on the table, which should be lame except he somehow manages to pull it off, then heads out of the teacher’s lounge with a wave to Nate. Nate turns to Tyson.

Tyson gestures wildly. “See!”

Nate’s eye roll is probably a risk to his health. “Oh, I see.”

3) (The first time Tyson talks to Gabe, Tyson really was trying to be friendly. They were both new, or so Tyson guessed given that everyone was giving him the ‘hi new kid’ handshake, and Tyson was excited and nervous and wanted to make friends, especially with the hottest guy he’d ever seen. They’d been milling around before the first teacher’s meeting, and Tyson had gone over to Gabe, and held out the Tupperware of chocolate chip cookies he’d made to bribe everyone into liking him. “Cookie?” He’d said.

Gabe had turned around, and he’d given Tyson a look like—it was the look he still gave Tyson, like he wasn’t sure what he was doing there. “I don’t eat cookies,” he’d replied, all snooty, and Tyson had still been willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

“Seriously, bud?” He’d asked, still smiling so it was clear it was a joke. “How do you survive without a sugar fix? It’s like, my drug. Well, and caffeine, but that doesn’t count.” Gabe still didn’t say anything, so of course Tyson was going to keep talking. “I mean, I can see you don’t eat much sugar, or you’d have to be working out like, an insane amount to look like that, which you clearly do, but not like, as much as you would if you ate as much chocolate as me.”

“Is the sugar why you talk so much?” Gabe had replied, and like, Tyson got it, okay? He knew he talked too much, especially when he was nervous, and said stupid shit and he was trying. Gabe didn’t need to jump down his throat for it.

Tyson had swallowed, and then, “Fine, I’ll go give the sugars to someone who deserves it,” he’d retorted, trying to save face. He left before Gabe could say anything else. But he’d seen Gabe eat a cookie later, in the teacher’s lounge, so. He got the message. And it was on.).

4) Gabe really does hate Tyson. He tells EJ that, and sometimes Nate, and sometimes Mikko. Often his sister. Generally, anyone who will listen.

“Okay, yeah, but you don’t,” EJ informs him. EJ, Gabe thinks, probably has a class to teach, but is instead sitting on Gabe’s desk as Gabe tries to prep for his next class.

“He planted a stink—“

“Have you ever tried being nice to him? Then he might be nice to you.” EJ waggles his eyebrows obnoxiously on the word nice. Gabe is an adult and thus doesn’t blush.

“I’ve tried,” he says, very dignified. “He takes everything I say the wrong way. It’s like he’s willfully misunderstanding me. Yes,” He goes on, before EJ can say what Gabe knows he was going to say, “I heard it, I know, but this is not Pride and Prejudice.”

“But you’d make such a good Darcy,” EJ retorts. “And you want it to be. You can carry him off to your manor and have sex on every surface and to the lake swim thing so he can gape at you as you get out and—“

“I don’t want any of that,” Gabe snaps. He’s only like. 25% lying. “He’s so annoying and so touchy and I don’t—“

“Wow, say what you really feel,” comes a voice from the doorway, and Gabe resists hitting his head to the desk by the skin of his teeth. Every time. Every single time. He just can’t seem to say anything right around Tyson.

“What are you doing here?” He asks. This is the humanities wing of the building, Tyson usually sticks to his lab. Except this time Tyson is standing in his doorway, his arms crossed over his chest in that way that Gabe can’t quite look away from, and scowling. As he usually is, looking at Gabe.

“I was going to find Colin to see if he was coming to drinks tonight. But I guess I’m not wanted around here.” He snorts. “Good. Too many books here anyway.” He smiles, but it’s not the one he gives everyone else, that bright, open thing. “I think I’m allergic.”

“You can’t be allergic to books,” Gabe points out.

“Because you’re the expert on allergies? Did you go out and get an MD along the way?” Tyson asks, snorting.

“And you are the expert?” Gabe retorts. Tyson always does this, pokes at him until it gets Gabe’s back up and he has to snipe back, even if he hadn’t meant to at the beginning. Even though he never means too, at the beginning. At least when he’s irritated he actually knows what he’s saying, though.

“I’m closer than you, I took some bio classes,” Tyson informs him, and looks ready to say more, but then the bell rings, and he glances over his shoulder at the hallways that will be filled with students soon. “I’ll see you later,” he tells EJ. He doesn’t look at Gabe when he leaves.

“See?” Gabe demands of EJ.

EJ smirks. “Oh, I see,” he says, and then yelps as Gabe smacks his arm.

5) (The first time Gabe talked to Tyson, Gabe meant to be friendly. He had been so, so nervous, and trying not to show it—waiting for the questions about why a non-native speaker was teaching English, wanting to impress everyone, wanting to be liked—and then he’d heard “Cookie?” And turned around, and—

Gabe’s smooth, usually. Often. But there was something about his nerves already, and that bug smile and the glint in those brown eyes and the way his shirt hugged the muscles of his arms and Gabe had not been expecting it, the sudden hit of attraction. And…he wasn’t always good, with things he didn’t expect. So he’d stammered something about not eating cookies, because it was the first words his brain put together, and, well. It all went downhill from there.

But if Tyson wanted to bring it. Gabe was going to bring it back.)

6) So everything’s good and they’re only minorly driving Nate crazy and entertaining EJ to no end, and then it’s someone’s brilliant idea to assign them to spearhead the baking sale. (EJ. Tyson is definitely blaming EJ. On principle, and also because he’d utterly failed at keeping it together when Bednar announced it at the staff meeting).

(“But it’s perfect!” Nate says, looking very innocent. “You love to bake and he’s good at the organizational shit.” So maybe Tyson blames Nate too.)

So they have to work together, it seems like, because Tyson’s definitely not going to let their bake sale raise less money than Calgary High, because fuck that shit. So once Gabe stops sneering at him long enough to actually set up a time to meet after school, Tyson really does do his homework. He’s not going to let Gabe show him up either.

Gabe does not show him up, but he does show up to their meeting—at the coffee shop down the street from the school because it’s after school hours and also Tyson’s classroom smelled a little suspicious from a mix up and he wanted to let it air out before he spent a significant amount of time there again—with a to do list. And a chart.

“Wow,” Tyson drawls, when Gabe lays the to do list on the table. “Really leaning into the whole teachers are just nerds who grew up thing, eh?”

“No one says that,” Gabe retorts, rolling his eyes. “And you’re a teacher too.”

Tyson waves a hand. He doesn’t see how either of those things matter. “Yeah, but I’m a cool teacher.” Gabe snorts. “You think you’re cooler than me?”

Gabe raises an eyebrow. He looks, fine, very cool doing it. But that’s just because anyone with that jawline and that hair and those eyes would look cool. It’s not like, inherent to him.  Tyson is cool despite genetics that gave him unruly hair and barely average height and a predilection for babbling. Gabe’s only cool because of genetics.

“Okay, let’s get down to business, defeat the huns and all that,” Tyson says, grabbing the paper. He ignores Gabe’s snort, and glances at it. It’s, fine, a lot of useful things, like figuring out the budget and getting volunteers and coordinating parents. Tyson would have thought of all of it. Definitely. “Okay, but where’s the baking?”

“We’re organizing, we don’t have to contribute,” Gabe replies, like that’s obvious and Tyson should have known it. Which, thanks. Tyson does actually get the distinction. But,

“Yeah, we’re not going to get any teacher to contribute if we don’t,” Tyson informs him. Maybe Gabe should know that. “Like, there’s no way to passive aggressively guilt them into it if we don’t do it too.”

“Maybe they’ll contribute without the guilt,” Gabe says, but Tyson doesn’t both to pretend he doesn’t crack up at that, and Gabe waits a beat, then he starts chuckling too. “Okay, fine, yeah. But I don’t really bake.”

“I’m not doing the baking for both of us,” Tyson warns. He’s not going to be that person in the group project, because fuck that shit.

“You like to bake.”

“Yeah, but not to do other people’s work,” Tyson shoots back. Gabe shakes his head.

“I didn’t—I just…probably shouldn’t bake,” he admits, looking a little shame-faced and a little irritated he has to admit it. Tyson’s not not into the look. “It doesn’t end well or edibly for anyone.”

“You aren’t getting out of it for something like that,” Tyson decides. He is not caving on this.

“So you’d rather poison our students?”

“It can’t be—“

“Ask EJ,” Gabe interrupts, with a dire look on his face. It’s the look of a man who’s Seen Things. Tyson thinks a lot of things about Gabe, but he doens’t think Gabe could fake that.

But he can’t just give in. That would be, well. Giving in. So, “Fine, we’ll bake together. But I’m still not doing everything, you’re going to contribute,” he warns, and Gabe opens his mouth, then closes it again, then opens it. “I know, it’ll be tough to handle each other for that long, but it’s for the kids, Gabriel. Think of the children.”

“Um. Yeah.” Gabe swallows. He must really be dreading it. “If it means you’ll actually pull your organizational weight—”

“Sorry some of us don’t need to color code our flashcards,” Tyson rolls his eyes. He’s not going to let Gabe mess this up. He reads the first article off the to do list. “Okay, budget. All of it too chocolate. Next.” Gabe snorts, like that’s stupid, which, duh. “That was a joke, I didn’t actually mean—“

“I know,” Gabe snaps back. “That’s why I laughed.”

Tyson’s mouth snaps around his next retort. “Oh,” is all he can come up with. Which Gabe takes as a cue to start talking about his budget ideas, which definitely lean too hard into Principal Bednar’s admonition to try to keep it under cost. Tyson can definitely fix that.

7) Gabe is not saying that maybe EJ was right and if he’d just powered through earlier, everything would have been better. He’s definitely not saying that, on principle if nothing else. But—well. It does get easier, the more time he and Tyson are forced to spend together for the bake sale. It’s hard to mess up everything you say to someone when you actually have to have real conversations. He’s definitely made real jokes, not just said something sharp to make up for the fact that he doesn’t know what to say.  

And he thinks—well, Tyson actually smiled at things he said a few times. Maybe it’s hard to misinterpret everything Gabe says when you have a real conversation too.

Or maybe Gabe just looks ridiculous, with flour in his hair and probably some dough on his face and definitely looking like he has no idea what he’s doing. Probably because he doesn’t.

“Wow, you weren’t kidding,” Tyson says, and mercifully takes the whisk away from Gabe. “You really suck at this.”

“No, I just joke about murdering children for fun,” Gabe retorts. He’s maybe pouting a little. He hates looking stupid, and he knows he does now. It’s especially bad in front of Tyson, who will definitely make fun of him for it.

“Look, we don’t yuck anyone’s yums in this house unless I need to report you to the police,” Tyson says, and Gabe chuckles, despite himself. Tyson’s smile flashes, sudden and surprised, and then he ducks his head to go back to whisking. This is the Tyson Gabe’s seen before with other people, quick with a joke and a smile, cutting but not mean-spirited. And, somehow, looking cute with the flour on his nose. And very competent. “Now get back, I think you might set off some electronics if you stay here.”

“I’m not radioactive,” Gabe retorts, but he scoots back to the island so he can watch Tyson bake. It’s safer for all concerned, probably.

“How are you so good at this?” Gabe asks. He’s had Tyson’s baked goods before, generally when Tyson’s not looking so he can’t snatch them away.

“It’s a better addiction than booze or weed,” Tyson says, half-laughing. Gabe rolls his eyes at Tyson’s back, but doesn’t say anything. “Nah, I just—I don’t know, as a kid, whenever I was bummed or whatever, my mom would have me help her bake. It made me feel like I was good at something, you know? And bonus, sweets at the end.” He sets down the bowl, then reaches over to pour what looks like a arbitrary amount of chocolate chips in.

“Then why didn’t you open a bakery or something?”

Tyosn snorts. “Come on, me, run a business? That’s not for me. I’d have to be able to find my head to do that.” The way he says it, it sounds like he’s quoting someone. It also sounds like he believes it.

Gabe must make a sound, because Tyson turns around, looking at him. “What? You know it’s true,” he says, and his lips twist, just a little. “You say it enough.”

“That’s not—“ he hadn’t known it had hit a nerve, Gabe doesn’t know how to say. He hadn’t known that Tyson actually believed it.

“It’s okay, I’ve got other skills. Like making sick baked goods. And, you know, teaching kids. Chem’s just advanced baking you can’t eat. Well, shouldn’t eat.” Tyson reaches for some Saran Wrap in a cabinet. Gabe takes the opportunity to reach in and grab some dough.

“Hey! No touching.” Tyson spins, glares. “If you’re going to eat cookie dough, use a spoon. And wait till I add the Nutella, that’s when it gets really good.”

Gabe shrugs. “It’s really good now.” He tries to put his words together, make sure they can’t be misunderstood. That he’s not accidentally poking sore spots. “I’d buy it, if you had decided to go that route.”

Tyson glances away, his cheeks stained red. “I thought you didn’t like my baking,” Tyson says, all in a rush.

“What?”

Tyson looks back up at Gabe, rolls his eyes. “You don’t eat cookies, remember?”

“What are you talking about, Tyson?”

Tyson covers the bowl carefully. “Never mind. Nothing.”

“Tyson—“

“So I think I have a task you can manage,” Tyson interrupts, loudly. “Can you put this in the fridge? I cleared a space and everything. I know it’ll really be taxing you, but I have faith.”

“Wow, thanks,” Gabe drawls, and lets it go.

8) Tyson’s just finishing up his junior lab when he hears the door open. He’d generally ignore it—these aren’t the kids he’s worried about sneaking out or whatever, these are his AP kids—but then the whispers start, spreading from the door closer to the front. He is, in the end, unsurprised to see Gabe standing near the door, looking a little sheepish and of course, unnecessarily attractive.

“Hold on a sec, then we’ll get to the good stuff,” he tells everyone, then goes over to Gabe. The whispers definitely follow him. It’s not like he doesn’t know what the kids say about him and Gabe; they’re definitely all waiting for something to blow up. Well, something other than the experiment he’d been setting up. “What’s up?”

“Sorry, I thought you’d be done with class.”

Tyson glances at the clock, and, yep, oh shit. He hadn’t heard the bell. “Shit,” he mutters, too quietly for anyone other than Gabe to hear, then turns to the class. “Okay, looks like we went long. You guys can go, or you can wait a couple minutes and see what I’ve got for you. No harm no foul either way.”

A few of the kids start to pack up, but most of them stay, Tyson notes with no little bit of pride. He glances at Gabe, to see if he noticed. The kids can like him, too.

Gabe doesn’t look particularly impressed, but he doesn’t look surprised, either. He’s also just looking at Tyson.

“So is it urgent, or can it wait?” Tyson asks. Gabe blinks, like now he is surprised.

“No, I just wanted to go over some last minute things before tomorrow. It can wait.”

“Okay, cool. Stick around if you want, we’re going to blow shit up.” Gabe barks out a laugh, which gets another line of whispers down the tables.

“Sounds like fun,” Gabe says. It’s--careful? Nice? Tyson’s not sure. He thinks Gabe might be plotting something, it’s the only explanation for why Gabe’s been…easier, lately. Like, sure, they can’t fight constantly if they have to work together, Gabe has to let him do some things, but it’s���Tyson doesn’t know. Less condescending. Gabe smiles more. Laughs with him, not at him.

It makes it harder for Tyson to be on his guard, which is what makes him sure it’s a trick. Tyson knows how to be ready against Gabe’s barbs and patronizing sneers. He hadn’t been ready for his smiles. But Tyson’s strong, he’s not going to be taken in.

And right now, he needs to blow something up, so. “Okay, let’s get to it,” He says, and they do. Gabe hovers in the back as Tyson explains what he’s doing, the science behind it, then vamps a bit because he likes the drama. Everyone is appropriately impressed by the bang and multicolored smoke that comes out of the beaker, because Tyson knows how to impress an audience if nothing else, then the rest of the kids start to pack up and Gabe comes up to the front table, leans against the counter.

Tyson pushes up his safety glasses onto his forehead. Gabe snorts.

“What?” Tyson demands. “You thought that was cool, don’t front.”

“You look like a mad scientist,” Gabe informs him.

“Okay, stereotype of every hipster Lit teacher ever,” Tyson retorts, reaching up to try to smooth out his hair. “I am responsible enough to teach good lab safety.”

“I know,” Gabe says, which isn’t on script. Tyson blinks.  “It’s cute.” He reaches out to tap the glasses.

Tyson can feel himself go red. So what, a hot guy is complimenting him. It’s definitely part of a nefarious plan, but he’s only human. He has to take his ‘being complimented by guys who look like Gabe’ where he can find them.

“Whatever,” Tyson mutters, then rallies. “What do you want, anyway? This is a long way from home for you.”

“I told you, I wanted to go over some last minutes changes facilities wants.” He pulls out another one of his ridiculous printed lists.

“Okay, Landesnerd,” he says, and smirks at Gabe’s rolled eyes at the nickname. “Hit me.”

9) The bake sale is going great, if Gabe does say so himself. They managed to get plenty of teachers to participate as well as parents (not guilting, thank you Tyson, Gabe is sure), and there’s plenty of buyers. They’re going to raise a lot of money, and Bednar is definitely happy with them, given his expression as he and his wife browse the offerings.

“So you survived it?” EJ asks, sidling up to Gabe. He has a brownie in one hand and a cookie in the other. He’d been one of the people Tyson had not-guilted into contributing, so Gabe’s not sure who’s watching his booth, but that’s not Gabe’s problem anymore. “Working with Tys?”

“Somehow.” Gabe looks over to where Tyson is manning their booth. He’s laughing with one of the moms, clearly on some sort of selling spiel. He’s managed to get chocolate on his shirt. Of course.

“And you still hate him?” EJ asks. He doesn’t manage to sound very innocent. Or anything but smug.

Gabe’s not an idiot, thank you very much. And Tyson looks over, sees him watching, and grins, that big open grin like he’d had the first day they met, and it’s still just as cute as it was then.

“Shut up,” he tells EJ, and goes to sell some baked goods.

10) “So we rocked that,” Tyson informs Gabe, when everything’s all done and packed up. “Definitely beat Calgary.”

“Yeah,” Gabe agrees. He sounds a little distracted, though, which is unusual for him—he was definitely on the ‘crush Calgary’ team. Tyson wipes at his mouth, because whatever’s distracting Gabe seems to be in his general face region.

“Um, earth to Gabriel? We kicked ass? Our cookies were the star of the show? Or they’re really mine, but. You can have some credit,” He allows. He’s ready to keep talking, but then Gabe blinks.

“Come with me.”

“What?”

“Come on,” Gabe says, decisively, and he starts towing Tyson down the hall with a hand on Tyson’s wrist. Tyson sort of has to follow.

“Gabe, what are you doing? Is this part of your plot? Where you take me away and murder me?” They get to Gabe’s classroom, and he tugs Tyson in, then shuts the door. “Nate has find my friends with me, he’ll be able to find me, and he totally knows it’d be you, I—”

Then Gabe takes a step forward, so Tyson’s back is to the door, and Tyson’s mouth snaps shut. “Gabe?” He asks. He doesn’t—this is off script too. Gabe’s too close to him, all—stupidly handsome and big and his lips are like, right there, Tyson doesn’t know—

“Fuck, Tys,” Gabe mutters, then he is definitely kissing Tyson. That is a thing. That is happening. He has a hand on Tyson’s neck and the other one on the door behind Tyson and he’s an irritatingly good kisser and Tyson can’t just let that stand, so clearly he has to kiss back, show Gabe that he’s not the only one with game around here.

He doesn’t concede defeat, but he definitely does end up sagged against the wall—not because his knees give out or anything, just because the wall is conveniently there. “Oh,” he says vaguely, as Gabe continues to press kisses to his jaw, “So this is your plan?”

“What plan?” Gabe asks, and kisses Tyson again, deep and maybe a little knee-melting.

“I don’t know,” Tyson comes up with, “It’s you plan. Whatever—plan you’re doing by being nice and friendly for a change. And kissing me.”

Gabe’s head drops onto Tyson’s shoulder for a second, which is a shame because it means he’s not kissing Tyson. That should change.

Then Gabe lifts his head. “It’s not an evil plan,” he says, sounding a little exasperated. “I just want to kiss you. Is that so hard to believe?”

“Um, yeah? You don’t like me.”

“You don’t like me,” Gabe corrects, and Tyson manages to roll his eyes even now.

“No, you definitely don’t like me. You were a dick to me when we met, and—“

“I was—when we met I was already nervous and then a cute guy started talking to me about his cookies and I blanked and said something that he misinterpreted,” Gabe retorts, definitely sounding exasperated now, but also—incredulous, maybe? “For the first but not the last time.”

“I—what?” That is very very off script. That isn’t—they hate each other. Right? “You didn’t eat my cookie.”

“I honestly don’t remember what I said,” Gabe laughs, a little, but doesn’t meet Tyson’s eyes. “I was—it was a lot.”

“You thought I was cute?” Tyson’s only just now hearing this. “You said—you said I talk too much.” He mutters that last part. It was a shitty thing to say, but maybe Tyson’s too sensitive, maybe—

“No, I kiss people I find really unattractive,” Gabe says, and then he does look up, meets Tyson’s gaze with those big determined baby blues. “And you do talk a lot of shit, Tys.” He keeps going before Tyson can reply to that. “It’s cute too.”

“I—what?” No one’s said that before, for sure. Even Nate like, just puts up with his babble.

Gabe groans. “Can I kiss you again?” He asks. “And then take you to dinner and work on convincing you not to hate me?”

Well. Put that way. “I suppose I can allow that,” Tyson says. He doesn’t say how he’s pretty sure that’s not going to be much of a job, any more. Instead, he tugs Gabe in to kiss him again.

11) The Great Rivalry ends, as all things must.

However, tales of the Great Romance is spread in whispers around the school. Apparently, it’s just as easy to distract Mr. Barrie by asking him about Mr. Landeskog’s dog, and to distract Mr. Landeskog by talking about Mr. Barrie’s latest antics. You can’t really get more details out of them, though sometimes if you’re around after school, you can see them working together in one of their classrooms, arguing about something with their feet hooked together under the table.

(You can still get Mr. Landeskog going about the stink bomb, though. That one’s always going to be a classic).

(They are still just as annoying to Coach Mac. But he guesses he can be happy for his friends too). 

[thebristolboard]

Best Comics of 2018

Here’s my contribution to The Comics Journal’s annual roundup. There’s lots of great lists. You should click over and read them all.

Berlin by Jason Lutes – a towering masterpiece 22-years in the making, Berlin is a high watermark for alternative literary comics and its completion feels like a significant milestone for the generation of post-Love and Rockets creators and fans who came of age in the ‘90s.

The Goat Getters by Eddie Campbell – Meticulously-researched and beautifully-designed, this is an important work of comics archaeology. Campbell sifts through the medium’s pre-history, focusing on “the missing link” between early sports cartooning and newspaper comic strips. He carefully traces this evolution, including detailed biographies of the major cartoonists (Swinnerton, Dorgan, Herriman, Fisher, Goldberg, etc.) and a lot of historical context. Not a light read, but definitely worth the effort.

The Troublemakers by Baron Yoshimoto, edited by Ryan Holmberg – If you aren’t following Ryan Holmberg’s work, you’re missing out on one of the best critic/historians in the game. Holmberg is an expert in alt-manga and his translation projects are always worth looking at. This year he edited or otherwise contributed to four collections with several different publishers. I still haven’t read Slum Wolf but of the other three (including Fukushima Devil Fish and Vérité 01), this was the standout, with six short stories from the ‘70s and ‘80s by Yoshimoto, a manga master I was previously unfamiliar with. Holmberg’s books also include insightful essays focused on the artist which adds to the appreciation and understanding of the works reproduced.

Frontier #17 by Lauren Weinstein – This memoir about pregnancy and childbirth is simply a beautiful comic, unflinchingly honest. Weinstein is not afraid to be naked on the page, both literally and figuratively, and never shies away from baring her soul. It’s definitely the best issue of Frontier to date and ranks high among Weinstein’s best works.

Hieronymus & Bosch by Paul Kirchner – From the creator of High Times’s “Dope Rider” and Heavy Metal’s “The Bus” strips, this latest book is a collection of silent comics set in Hell. Perfectly timed gags, often ending in the protagonist’s torment, are mixed with a healthy dose of dark humor. This is perhaps Kirchner’s best work. Plus it’s full color!

Blammo #10 and One Dirty Tree by Noah Van Sciver – Van Sciver’s work turned more personal this past year, revealing intimate details about his family life, relationships, and Mormon upbringing. At the same time, his storytelling, artwork, and especially his use of color have grown more confident and attractive. 

Mort Cinder by Héctor Germán Oesterheld and Alberto Breccia – Following Fantagraphics’ translation of Oesterheld and Solano López’s masterpiece, The Eternaut, a few years ago, this gorgeously reproduced translation of one of the greatest Argentinian comics ever is the first of several planned volumes in the Breccia Library. Breccia’s chiaroscuro brushwork is exquisite throughout as he dissects various historical eras from ancient Greece to World War I.

Coin-Op Comics Anthology by Peter and Maria Hoey – You don’t usually hear comics described as aerodynamic but this collection of short strips by the brother and sister duo is filled with sharp angles and sleek curves. The comics draw heavily on the siblings’ graphic design experience, giving the entire book a glossy magazine-like quality, but each strip is filled with clever film-inspired visual experiments.

Flem by Rebecca Rosen – An impressive debut graphic novel about assisted suicide and mother/daughter relationships. Rosen’s art has some similarities with Dash Shaw’s work, but her creative page layouts and expressive coloring portend great things to come. Definitely an artist to keep an eye on.

Ice Cream Man by W. Maxwell Prince and Martín Morazzo – One of my favorite Image books in a long time. Each issue of this series is a loosely-connected one-off tale of suburban horror. Martín Morazzo’s style is reminiscent of Frank Quitely and Prince’s scripts are sparse, thought-provoking gems.

Honorable mentions: Sabrina by Nick Drnaso, The Beef by David Hine and Shaky Kane, X-Men: Grand Design and Second Genesis by Ed Piskor, Black Panther by Ta-Nehisi Coates, Brian Stelfreeze, et al., All the Sad Songs by Summer Pierre, Tongues by Anders Nilsen, Ensemble by Maxime Gérin, Amnesia by Al Columbia, and The Nib #1, the first print edition of the popular web-comic.

Finally, because nobody should limit themselves to new stuff only, here’s the ten best older comics and related stuff I read in 2018:

The Ten Cent Plague: The Great Comic Book Scare and How It Changed America by David Hajdu – a fantastic and well-researched look back at the history of censorship and fetishism in early comics that led up to Wertham’s Seduction of the Innocent.

Hostage by Guy Delisle – Delisle’s best maybe ever, certainly since Pyongyang. This should have been on my best of list last year.

March Books 1-3 by John Lewis and Nate Powell – I read all three books to my 6th grade son this year and we were both blown away. John Lewis is a true American hero and I’m grateful that he chose to write his memoirs in graphic novel form.

Annie Sullivan and the Trials of Helen Keller by Joe Lambert – this was the third time I read this one and it’s still great; one of the most under-rated graphic novels in recent memory.

Sentences: The Life of MF Grimm by Percy Carey and Ron Wimberly – I had the pleasure of interviewing Ron on a panel at SPX this year and it was the perfect excuse to revisit this outstanding memoir about hip hop and gang culture.

Jar of Fools by Jason Lutes – I re-read this after finishing Berlin. It remains one of my all-time favorite graphic novels.

The Eternaut by F. Solano Lopez and Héctor Germán Oesterheld – I actually like this book better than Mort Cinder, but both are masterpieces. And Fantagraphics hit it out of the park on the design and slipcase packaging. Arsene Schrauwen by Olivier Schrauwen – I missed the boat on this book when it came out, but I’m really glad I went back and read it. Outstanding art with a creepy dreamlike story. I’m looking forward to checking out Parallel Lives soon.

2001 Nights by Yukinobu Hoshino – I love this hard sci-fi manga series so much, I wrote an appreciation for The Comics Journal about it.

Fantastic Four Visionaries: John Byrne vol. 3-6 – I collected these off the stands back in the ‘80s and am amazed how well they hold up. I think this is Byrne’s best work for Marvel, even surpassing his X-Men run (and let’s also not forget Namor).

[bcllcntynes]

heyo again folks, it’s lilac here, back with a second character !! ( i have been on break from work for about two seconds.... and you can see how i chose to spend my time, lmao ). but before i say anything else, have you ever wanted to rp with satan ? yes ? well, do i have quite the mcmess for you then. >:)

here comes st etienne’s resident ASTROPHYSICS major, NATHANIEL BALLANTYNE! the TWENTY FOUR year old CISMALE looks just like BILL SKARSGARD, and the GRADUATE is known to be PERSPICACIOUS and FORTHRIGHT despite also being BEGUILING and PERNICIOUS. you can find them in APT 001 of AUBERLIN APTS, or hanging out with other CHESS, ENVIRONMENTAL CONSERVATION & DEBATE members. just watch out for them, rumour has it that daisey knew something about them you wouldn’t believe…

about nate.

*evil cackles to set the tone of this intro*

first thing you ought to know about my boy here ?? he was arranged to be married to daisey lmao

their families, both socialites and social climbers, had pinned the pair together since birth pretty much. nate and daisey never dated or were romantic, but their parents were always like:  (☭ ͜ʖ ☭) when they were together dkfgjd

so just a note - nate is one of the few people who actually liked daisey. in fact, he respected the hell out of her for making everyone’s life hell dkfgjdhgjkdfd. so if your muse is anti-daisey ? you’re probably anti-nate too

BUT OK ONTO BACKSTORY

nate is the youngest of like, 5 kids and has grown up in ashmont his whole life

and is the smartest of all the children

and he was an accident and his parents lowkey ignore his existence

he has an eidetic memory, an iq over 170, voracious reader, a ranked chess player... also the biggest douche nozzle to ever walk the planet

he literally hates everything

my beautiful lil cynical nihilist 

he’s also lowkey a masochist and like. bullies people bc he’s the worst and wants to feel superior to everyone kdjdfg

surprisingly enough one of (probably his only lmao) redeeming features is his want to save the planet. maybe he just wants the credit ? maybe he just hates people enough that he can point out their flaws fairly well. but you can catch this mans crying about corral

he has pet snakes named after famous greek philosophers too dfkgd

he is also.... so so vain. tailored suits, styled hair. a bit of a germaphobe tbh and won’t touch anything unsanitary. 

will go to great lengths to avoid conversations dkfjgd

THIS BITCH IS ALSO A HOE FOR STARS

will spend hours. watching the stars. in saying that his sleep schedule is f***ed bc of this and always has rings under his eyes. 

he’s also a chain smoker, but refuses to drink or do hard drugs because it will “mess with his mind”. this boy has a hard on for KNOWLEDGE

i won’t lie he is borderline sociopathic kdfjg. he’s like this fun amalgam of sherlock holmes, elon musk and david attenborough dkfgjdhf

like honestly if you correct him once he’ll probably want to die

also SHOCKINGLY he is ... not v good with people. he always assumes the worst of them and like. does not Connect. so his romantic forays are what i’d consider to be very limited

there was probably a rumour going around at some point that he eats children for fun 

probably doesnt know what a meme is bc he's a loser

he is v blunt but honest so like ??? idk how you’d use that but if you want the truth about something. this is your mans. he has never tried to protect someone from their feelings ever

his weakness is his lactose intolerance lmfao

i’m ending this intro here bc i’m laughing oh my god

plots & connections.

god why would you want to plot with this mans ??? but if you do here are some Lame ideas

fellow socialite families !! chances are you and nate were brought up together, and they can wear their monocles as they sip whisky lmao

nate will tutor you in pretty much anything but only if you pay him bc he loves extortion lmao

i mean i have no idea WHY a person would like him. maybe there’s someone out there who thinks he can ‘change’ him and make him better. bc there is a lot more underneath the grotesque facade but hey. nate has like, no relationship experience so its gonna be bad for All Involved

chess or debate members !! 

perhaps an unlikely friend or a good influence ? makes nate less like a goblin for a little while

to that end maybe someone like... who's into either astronomy or environmental conservation too and they're like 'ooOOO nate u do have a soul' and nate is like 'no u'

nate needs all the enemies ok

maybe a fun friendship which is like... they don’t like each other but they hate everyone else so they just bitch about st etienne forever kdfj

OH someone who was also close to daisey. bc nate probably would have interacted with them before

literally anything else you can think of tbh ??

at some point i do intend to make a wanted connections page and a bio on nate’s blog, but alas i am too lazy right now as i have been listening to the 5sos live album for about 19 hours now lmao. so hit me up either on blue’s account ( lcminescent) or discord if you wanna plot with this d00d, otherwise i’ll see y’all on the dash soon !! love lilac. <3 x

[dragonagecompanionsreact]

Modern high school au, what would the companions for all the games be as students? Advisors for inquisition too plz

DAO

Alistair: He’d be a part of the school’s lacrosse team. He tried football, but he didn’t like it. The football coach desperately wants him back on the team, but Alistair has found his calling in lacrosse. Socially, he’s well-liked, as he can somehow make every situation into a joke, though this does get him in trouble sometimes with teachers. 

Leliana: The quiet student who shines in the music room. She’ll spend most lunches there, strumming away at a guitar or tinkering on a piano. She transferred to the school and never really made an effort to get to know people, but she prefers it this way. Most people forget she’s there sometimes, which definitely is an advantage. When the school bully tries to target her, she reveals that she knows quite a bit of information about them…information that would be awfully embarrassing should someone share it. Leliana is never targeted again. 

Zevran: Zevran seems to float around every social group. From the nerds to the jocks, everyone just knows Zevran. His classmates try to make him go for the year group’s representative (president, prefect etc) but Zevran doesn’t want to. He prefers his ability to just…meld into the crowd. He gets in trouble in Sex Ed, as he is frustrated with the teacher’s immaturity when it comes to women, and ends up just walking up to the board and speaking freely about the female body, talking about proper genital hygiene particularly during periods. The teacher is red in the face by the time Zevran finally listens to his order to wait outside the classroom.

Morrigan: Home-schooled for much of her life, Morrigan struggles with the social aspect of school. She tries to hide this through harsh words and scowls, but somehow, she does manage to attract a few friends. One day, Merrill and Isabela just sit down next to her and despite Morrigan’s insistence that they leave, she eventually gives up and starts a begrudging companionship with them. Through them, she makes a few more acquaintances (she refuses to call them friends). Her favourite class is history, and she loves to find obscure primary sources to use in essays. Worst class is gym- she skips every time. She’s very competitive with her grades, and if someone even seems like they’re going to be competition, Morrigan will start to work on destroying them. 

Oghren: Football is fun, if only because he can basically attack other people. It’s a great way for him to let out his aggression. He did try lacrosse once because Alistair convinced him it was a fun game, but Oghren hated having to hold a stick, and ended up breaking his in frustration before the game was done. His grades are okay, but they’re not his main focus.   

Sten: Captain of the lacrosse team. Never attends any parties. Not very social but is somehow just leadership material. The other members of the Qun who attend the same school look to him for guidance. He is a devoted student and manages to average an A in most subjects. Despite his commitment to languages and philosophy, his favourite is art. 

Wynne: As a student, Wynne asks many, many questions. Usually completely obscure, left-field questions, designed to test out the full extent of one’s knowledge of a subject. Most of the time, she actually knows the answers perfectly well, and she is just trying to test the teacher. If they slip up, Wynne tends to purse her lips, and just give them a thin smile. It’s a special, trademark Wynne style of torture, though she does seem to target the teachers who are particularly arrogant and harsh…

Shale: Is disqualified from the football team. And the basketball team. And every sports team. They love watching in some sort of twisted amusement as the coaches try to explain exactly why they aren’t allowed to play the game. No matter, Shale is content playing no sport- they would crush the other players into tiny pieces. It’s a mercy for them. Shale has little interest in most subjects, but finds a particular fascination with history, to everyone’s surprise. Sometimes Shale will sit with Sten and his qunari posse during breaks, but if they become wearisome, Shale will be perfectly happy to sit on their own. Someone always manages to interrupt though, whether it be a curious Solas, or a talkative Varric. Shale can’t catch a break. 

Loghain: He wanted to keep his head down in school and just get through it unseen by everyone. He really did. He was harshly bullied in his younger years by some of the Orlesian students, and he never really has gotten over it. He just wanted to stay in the background until the frustrating years of school were over. But then Maric just had to interfere, didn’t he? He took a shining to Loghain when they were paired up for a lab project once, and despite Loghain’s attempts, Maric just wouldn’t leave it alone. He dragged him along with him to his lacrosse training, and when there was an open position on the team, coerced Loghain to join in. Begrudgingly, Loghain enjoyed it. A lot. His favourite subjects were art and history- he found something about the past just so fascinating to study. It also helped that he sat next to Maric in both of those classes…

Dog: A certified helper dog. A very good boy.

Awakening: 

Mhairi: Vice captain of the hockey team, though she was captain the previous year, but she didn’t like it that much. She much prefers to advise from the side than do the leading herself. She works hard in school, but sometimes struggles to pick things up if she isn’t 100% invested in the subject. She has a small group of friends, and will sometimes join them at parties as their designated driver, but she’s also very much comfortable with her own company too. 

Anders: Somehow manages to pass every class despite hating school. He’s forced to go to, but he’ll skip his classes. The school has officially designated a particular office worker named Gregoir to track Anders down at the start of each class. Usually Anders will be hiding somewhere on the grounds, and if he manages to be dragged to class, he’ll sit there with a pout on his face and complain about what an injustice this is. He is a good student when he actually applies himself, but he just doesn’t think that a student’s merit should be determined by how well they do in tests, and he thinks the school environment is a toxic place. He will viciously needle a teacher if they make a student feel bad, and is quite well-liked by his peers. Kind of an outrageous flirt, but nobody really knows if he’s ever had a proper significant other. 

Nathaniel: Plays lacrosse with Alistair, much to the disappointment of his father, who hates the game. He tried other sports, but he really enjoyed lacrosse, and Alistair convinced him that he should play what he wants to, not what his father wants him to. He is an average student, but he really excels in English and History. He has a few close friends from the lacrosse team and some from his classes, but gets along perfectly fine with most people. He is convinced to go for class representative by his friends, and to his surprise he is elected. His father was proud of him, until he found out that Tommy had been made captain of the football team and he was brushed aside. His father rarely comes to a lacrosse match, though Delilah and Tommy attend every single one. Nate tries not to let it hurt when his father goes to every football match of Tommy’s. 

Velanna: Leads the debate team, and is the class’ pick for “Most likely to rule the world one day.” She’s an excellent student, and loves history and philosophy. She takes a religion studies class, but drops out immediately upon seeing that apparently ‘religion studies’ actually only means ‘Andrastian’. She reprimands the board of education- this one small student girl staring down a group of majorly white human men- and manages to get the name of the class changed. 

Sigrun: Plays hockey, but isn’t really that invested in the game itself. She just likes the camaraderie of a team working together. She hates maths, but loves science and creative writing. Is very sociable and gets along well with most people. She loves chatting with Merrill and Isabela, as the two just make her giggle a lot. She spends her afternoons in the library, reading whatever she can get her hands on. 

Justice: Doesn’t play a sport, as he doesn’t see the point. This is to the misery of the team coaches, who have on multiple occasions tried to recruit him. He does very well in gym class, and is good long distance track runner. He usually takes home many of the school carnival medals. He loves science and English, and usually excels in them. He doesn’t really bother with making friends, it’s inconsequential to him. 

[becuzpurple]

Hospital - A One-Shot (pt 1 of 2)

I was asked for some Cuddly/Caring Ed and came up with this idea.  The bulk of the cuddles and caring will actually come in part 2, though (sorry!).

I wrote a part of this from Ed’s point-of-view for the first time, which was really weird for me since I’m so used-to and comfortable using Kate’s voice.  But she was unavailable (you’ll see why soon), so Ed needed to step up!

Enjoy!

Something was definitely not right. I’d had a stomachache since late morning. It was just below and to the left of my belly button at first, and then it traveled right.  Eating didn’t help, and I was pretty sure it wasn’t intestinal pain, either. Painkillers did nothing - it actually got worse as the day went on.  It was unfamiliar to me - I’d never felt pain quite like it before.

We’d had plans to visit my parents that evening, and celebrate my mom’s birthday.  I wasn’t sure if I should cancel or not, or maybe just stay home and let Ed take the kids without me.  But I decided to suck it up and go.  At about 4 pm we all piled into the car and made the short ride over to my parents’ house.

My mother loves to cook.  And even more than that, she loves to feed people. The old adage ‘Food is Love’ is a motto she lives by.  Even though it was for her own birthday celebration, she happily spent all day preparing a delectable feast for her loved ones.  She said that seeing her family together around the table enjoying both each other’s company and the meal she prepared for us was all she needed.

But not even my mom’s lasagna could fix this.  I didn’t feel like I could keep much food down, so I just picked at it, taking a few small bites here and there.  The pain was still getting worse.  

Ed said I looked pale.  He was concerned, as were my parents.  My sister-in-law Amy, a nurse, was the first to mention that maybe I should go to the ER. Once I started running to the bathroom vomiting every 10 minutes or so, I reluctantly agreed with her.

I apologized profusely to my mom for ruining her birthday, and she predictably hushed me, assuring me that my health was infinitely more important than a silly party.  

Nate and Lucy stayed with my parents while Ed took me to the hospital.  We had no idea how long we’d be there, so figured it would be best if they spent the night with them.

Ed had to pull the car over twice on the way to the hospital so I could throw up.

What is this?  

Worry was etched all over his face as he drove us through the stop-and-go city traffic.  We didn’t talk much during the drive, but he kept his hand on my knee the whole time.

We were in the waiting room for almost an hour before anyone saw me.  It was a Saturday night - the busiest time of the week for an emergency room.  I visited the bathroom no less than 6 times to vomit while we waited.  Nothing was even coming out anymore - it was all just dry heaves.  I was in significant pain, I was miserable, and I was baffled.  I came back to our seats from one of those bathroom visits, shaking my head and shrugging, feeling discouraged.

“Has this ever happened before?” Ed asked softly, his voice laced with concern.

“No,” I slowly shook my head.  “I don’t know what this could be…gallbladder, maybe?  Appendix…?” I felt my eyes go wider as I thought of another possibility.  I didn’t voice it, though.

Which didn’t matter in the least, since he’d apparently had the same thought.

“Could you be pregnant?”

————————————————————————��—————-

I was finally called back to triage, where I was asked a series of the usual questions:

Describe the abdominal pain.  When did it begin?  It started late this morning - dull, kind of centered, a little to the left.  A few hours later it moved right and down and got worse - much more sharp.

Do you have a normal appetite?  Not really.  I don’t think I can keep anything down.  

Any nausea or vomiting?  Yes.  I’ve been vomiting every 5-15 minutes for the past few hours.

Are you experiencing any vaginal bleeding?  No.

When did you begin your last period?  Umm, almost a month ago I think?  I think I’m due in a few days.

Do you experience any pain with intercourse?  No.

Any dizziness?  No.

Any pain in your shoulder or back?  No.

I also told the nurse that I’d stopped my birth control pills the previous month. It seemed like something worth noting.

She was the only person we’d shared that information with at that point.  It was a decision we’d come to together, at the tail-end of what was honestly the most stressful, intense, nerve-racking, heart-wrenching, soul-baring near break-up/fight I’d ever been through.  It lasted days, but in the end we were both clear and honest with ourselves and each other about where we wanted our relationship to go.  Not that he hadn’t been forthright about that before.  It was I who had been fooling myself, and by extension, him.  But now it was voiced. It’s real.  We are stronger, completely committed, and in it for the long-haul.

We weren’t exactly trying to get pregnant, but we were no longer trying to prevent it, either.  It was a huge step, for sure.  Given my age and my past miscarriages, we thought we might need to see a reproductive endocrinologist once we officially started ‘trying’.  But we weren’t quite there, yet.

I knew that if I was pregnant, then it was very early, and something was probably very wrong.  So, at that point I was praying that it was my appendix or gallbladder.  

After another 40ish minutes of waiting my name was called again, finally, and we were led back to an examining room.  But before we even entered, I was handed a sterile sample cup and redirected to the nearest bathroom.  

I did my duty and returned to the small curtained-off area where Ed was waiting.  I changed into the hospital gown the nurse had given me, and then she returned to take my vitals, including my temperature.

“Hmm.  98.5…no fever…”  She looked a little surprised by this.

We waited an interminable 15 or 20 minutes, during which time I continued to dry-heave.  I’d been given a clean, plastic bucket, but nothing was coming out, anyway.  I was miserable.  Ed was trying to distract me with stories of his own hospital escapades.  He’s broken a lot of fingers and toes!  Boys…  

Finally, the doctor came back with the results.  She glanced at me and then at Ed, and if she recognized him she made no outward sign of it.

“Everything was negative.  You’re not pregnant so no ectopic pregnancy, you don’t have a UTI, and there are no kidney stones.”

I nodded.  “OK…”

“There is definitely something going on.  I suspect it’s appendicitis, but I’d like to run a few more tests to be sure.  I’m ordering blood work and an MRI.  But first I’d like to do a quick physical exam.”

I laid back and tried not to worry too much while the doctor applied pressure to various parts of my abdomen, observed my reactions, and asked me to rate any pain I felt on a scale of 1-10.

My memory of that night is a bit fuzzy, so my awareness of how time passed is not great.  But I do remember waiting around a lot for tests and results and room availability and doctors.  My blood was drawn right away, but we waited a while for the MRI to be done.  Then we waited some more for someone to tell us…anything.

It was after midnight before Dr.  Pianga returned.

“I’m confident that you have an angry appendix.  Your white blood cell count is high, which indicates that you’re fighting an infection…although you don’t have a fever, which is atypical.  The MRI images clearly show that your appendix is inflamed, and I do see what looks like a blockage in your appendiceal lumen, which is the hollow part of the appendix.”

“Does she need to have it out?” Ed asked.

Dr.  Pianga nodded.  “Yes, I’m afraid it needs to go,” she said, nodding at him, then me.

“OK.”

“I believe you’re a good candidate for a laparoscopic appendectomy.  It’s less invasive than the open surgery, and has a shorter recovery period.  It’s actually performed as an outpatient surgery, so you won’t even be admitted.  You’ll be home by mid-morning.”

——————————————————————————————-

Ed’s POV

While we waited in pre-op, they hooked Kate up to an IV and started some medicines - antibiotics, a pain reliever, something to stop her vomiting, and a sedative.  She became very sleepy, but also really hyper and chatty - even more so than usual.  She spoke quickly and emphatically.

“I can’t believe I’m having my appendix out?  This morning I had a stomachache and now I’m having surgery?  That’s crazy.  I’ve never even had surgery before.”

“No?”

“Oh, well I had a c-section.  I guess that’s surgery, isn’t it?  Oh, god I’m so glad it’s not an ectopic pregnancy.  I was really worried that’s what it was…”

“Yeah,” I replied softly, nodding.

“I want a baby, Ed.  I want to have a baby…babies!”, she said a little too loudly.

“Shhhh, OK.  OK, darling.” I smiled down at her, smoothing her hair back away from her face, and then took a quick glance around to see if anyone else could hear our conversation besides Ebony, the nurse who just re-entered our curtained-off ‘room’.

“No, no…your babies, not just any babies…”  she seemed to be under the impression that I might have mistakenly thought she wanted some random, general babies.  

I was sat down on the edge of her bed, right next to her, and couldn’t help the smile that broke out at hearing those words.  

I softly kissed her forehead, and then took her hand in both of mine.

“I want that, too,” I whispered softly.

I hated seeing her in pain, worried, and so vulnerable.  This was new territory for me.  I’m not very familiar with American hospitals or surgery procedures, and felt quite out of my element.  I wasn’t going to let her see that, though.  I knew it was a pretty common surgery, but I was worried, all-the-same.  

The possibility of an ectopic pregnancy had scared the piss out of me. The idea of losing our baby before even getting to know him or her?  No.  Just no.  And Kate has had more than her share of losses in her life.  It would kill a good part of me if that were to happen to us.  To her.  

The anesthesiologist came back and administered the drugs via her IV to put her under.  Kate looked a little nervous, so I whispered sweet and silly and entirely inappropriate things to her to get her to smile, and she was out almost immediately.  Ebony was trying to hold back a smirk after everything she’d just overheard, and wasn’t doing a very good job of it.  I grinned sheepishly back at her.

“Will she remember any of that?”

“Probably not.  But believe me, she means every word she said.  That stuff is truth serum.”

——————————————————————————————-

Pt. 2 - Home

As always, likes and reblogs are mucho-appreciated, as is any feedback you might care to offer.  :-)

-BP💜

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 1st September 2019

There are four new arrivals this week, evenly split into two categories: Taylor Swift and not Taylor Swift. Now, without further ado...

Top 10

One of the biggest stories this week is the new #1, because thanks to a remix by Sir Spyro, grime producer, featuring verses English rapper Jaykae and a rapper we all know too well on this show, Aitch, “Take Me Back to London” by Ed Sheeran featuring Stormzy (And now I guess I’ll have to credit Jaykae and Aitch) is at #1, up 10 spaces from last week in its fourth week on the charts. Sorry to trail off into a bunch of arbitrary numbers for a second, but it’s Ed Sheeran’s eighth #1 and third from this album alone, Stormzy’s second after “Vossi Bop” this same year, and since we’ve got new remix artists, I guess I can say that this is Aitch’s second top 10 hit in the UK, his fourth top 20 and first ever #1, and also Jaykae’s first ever entry into the UK Top 40, so congratulations. I haven’t heard the remix at all, but Sir Spyro is such a great producer name, and now there is a collaboration between Ed Sheeran, Stormzy, Kenny Beats, Skrillex and Aitch that exists in the world, which is perplexing.

Up two spaces to the runner-up spot is “Higher Love” by Kygo and Whitney Houston taking the video boost up to number-two, and since the remix seems to be carrying “Take Me Back to London”, I have no doubts this will hit #1 soon enough... and that’s all that’s of interest in the top 10.

“Beautiful People” by Ed Sheeran featuring Khalid is down a spot to number-three.

Also down one space is “3 Nights” by Dominic Fike at number-four.

AJ Tracey’s “Ladbroke Grove” hasn’t moved at number-five, keeping pretty steady traction.

Aitch’s “Taste (Make it Shake)” is still at number-six for no good reason.

Joel Corry’s “Sorry” with uncredited vocals from Hayley May has jumped three positions since last week to number-seven.

Also not moving at all is “How Do You Sleep?” by Sam Smith steady at number-eight.

Lil Tecca continues viral success yet still suffers a hit down two spaces to number-nine with “RAN$OM” – you’d think the mixtape release would give this some sort of a boost.

To round off our top 10 we have “So High” by MIST and Fredo down a spot at #10.

Climbers

Despite the four new arrivals, I wouldn’t say this is a busy week per se, but there is definitely some kind of shift going into the Autumn season, and we could be looking at perpetual smash hits rising up this week, like Headie One gaining his third UK top 20 hit with “Both” up four spots to #18 or “Post Malone” by Sam Feldt featuring RANI having a quick and unexpected boost up eight spots to #26, although that’s not exactly appreciated, by me at least, I think that song’s worthless. “Truth Hurts” by Lizzo is also up six positions to #31, 30 spots shy of where it landed on the US’ Hot 100 chart this week, thanks to a DaBaby remix, but I’m unsure if this’ll gain enough traction here in the UK before it fizzles out worldwide.

Fallers

After “Old Town Road” dropped off the #1 spot following its record-breaking streak in the US, anything could get the #1 spot, and I honestly feel that the same is the case with “Senorita” by Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello collapsing due to streaming cuts down 10 spaces to #11. While I doubt “3 Nights” or “Ladbroke Grove” would have or will ever reach the top, “Higher Love” had that video and could have very much taken it, and it seems even likelier that “Beautiful People” could have just swiped the #1 back, but I guess in 2019, it all comes down to the remix. The fallers here are actually relatively plentiful, the aforementioned “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X featuring Billy Ray Cyrus, etc. is down five spaces to #22 and I’m honestly quite shocked it’s not off the chart yet, “Motivation” by Normani is unfortunately taking a five-space hit off the debut down to #35 and “I Spy” by Krept & Konan featuring Headie One and K-Trap continues to fall off slowly down five to #37 because of how quickly the remix hype died down.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

There aren’t a lot of dropouts but two out of three of these are actually very notable. While nobody should care about the premature end to the chart run of “Hate Me” by Ellie Goulding and Juice WRLD out from #39, the other dropouts are genuinely pretty important. Out from #21 is “No Guidance” by Chris Brown featuring Drake, even with a video and steady US success, probably due to streaming cuts, which took Stormzy’s “Crown” as a victim this week too, out from #27. Both of these songs peaked in the top 10, just being shy of the top five, so this shows quite an abrupt yet necessary seasonal shift. There aren’t any returning entries, well, not in the top 40 at least, so let’s talk about the elephant in the room that could be a whole lot bigger.

ALBUM BOMB: Taylor Swift – Lover

I’m honestly not shocked at the lack of impact Swift’s new album had here in comparison to the US. Thanks to chart rules, we can only have three songs from Taylor on the chart, and none of the pre-release singles could compete with the new songs, meaning we just have two new arrivals and a boost for fourth single, “Lover”, up nine spaces to #14, becoming Taylor’s fifteenth UK Top 20 single. I’m not complaining about that one, it’s a great song, despite being somewhat Christmassy. Regardless, we have two new Taylor songs to talk about, so let’s go.

#27 – “Cruel Summer” – Taylor Swift

Produced by Jack Antonoff and Taylor Swift – Peaked at #20 in Ireland and New Zealand, and #29 in the US

Our first Taylor Swift song to cover this week is one of many collaborations with Jack Antonoff off of Lover – even if you don’t recognise the name, you’ve definitely heard a song he’s contributed to, whether it be from his old band with Nate Reuss, fun. or Lorde’s Melodrama. Most recently, he’s been working on music with his band Bleachers as well as Lana Del Rey, Kevin Abstract of BROCKHAMPTON and St. Vincent, which brings us to “Cruel Summer”, Taylor Swift’s 27th UK Top 40 hit with additional writing and guitar from Annie Clark of St. Vincent. The album bored me, if I’m going to be completely honest, but there were definite gems that I appreciated throughout and don’t get me wrong, it’s a pretty decent album, but a shortened runtime to mill out the filler records would have definitely helped it achieve greatness. As it is, I’m not disappointed with it and it can definitely go toe to toe with her best at its peaks. This song in particular is pretty great, with blocky 80s-esque production Antonoff is known for, which is immediately cut off by Taylor and her pitch-shifted echo. Her inflections in the pre-chorus especially have a lot of flavour, and that chorus is almost ballad-like, which is somewhat unfitting, but it soon picks up momentum with some more vibrant synths and some rattling hi-hats, admittedly buried in the pretty cloudy mix here, but oh, my god, that bridge is amazing. The combination of the quirky synths, Swift’s vocals building in intensity and, you know, actually being able to hear the percussion for the first time, is incredible, and when it stops for Taylor to just belt into the next chorus, that’s when it wins it for me. Lyrically, it depicts the uncertainty of a new relationship but how exciting that fling is, specifically in this case with Joe Alwyn, who she describes as a “bad boy”, and the music perfectly represents that with how animated Antonoff and Clark’s instrumental is, as well as Taylor herself with some pretty passionate vocal performances I honestly didn’t expect initially. I’ve been listening to the Billboard year-end list for 1984 in the past week for the sake of a Top 10 list, and this would probably fit right in, although I’d question its quality when compared to pop girls at the time like Cyndi Lauper or even Laura Branigan. Admittedly, that year-end list is male-dominated but my point stands. Oh, and this has the same title as a Kanye album from 2012. Sneaky.

#21 – “The Man” – Taylor Swift

Produced by Joel Little and Taylor Swift – Peaked at #15 in New Zealand and #23 in the US

Now this song isn’t one of the first three tracks or even a promoted single but attracted a lot of attention and some controversy for its lyrics, which I’ll only somewhat get into because I don’t get the fuss. In her 28th UK Top 40 hit, Taylor Swift “plays with the ideas of perception”, asking the listener how people would feel about her mistakes, her accomplishments and her public persona and image if she were male, and, well, she has a point, at least on the surface, because people who go through a lot of relationships like Taylor would not be clowned, they would not be mocked for that, they would be “players” as she says. There would not be a focus on her fashion in the press if she was a male, and people would comment on her “Good ideas” and “Power moves”... although I wouldn’t exactly say the debacle with Kanye and Kim Kardashian was a “Power move”. The bridge also seems iffy, commenting less on male musicians but rappers, forgetting that there are indeed so many female rappers talking about the same thing now who are all a lot bigger than they would be years ago when this song might have been written (I assume 2016), and while she has a point that even female rappers (Although this is not directly what she refers to) are seen as subservient and not “Ballers”, I’m not sure if Taylor Swift can comment on that culture, exactly, although I do admit that’s pretty accurate of a comparison. I’m not sure if the press is any kinder to mental health issues in men, either, if that’s what she’s going by when she talks about being okay when you’re “mad” – reminds me of Pitchfork’s Azealia Banks op-ed from 2017 or so. Anyways, I get her overall point – “Women are given less leeway in the industry and harsher press attention than men” - and admittedly, the line, “If I were a man, I’d be the man” is a pretty great wham line for the chorus. This song really sucks, though, there’s no atmospheric intro which works for a “Powerful” song, but Taylor Swift does not sound powerful, she sounds tired. The instrumental is similarly exhausted, with some pretty awful vocal manipulation as a “Drop”, trap percussion because it’s 2019 and some pretty cloudy synths, accentuated by some funny sound effects... I guess? Yeah, no, skip this one, whether it’s for a misguided lyrical attempt, an awful instrumental or Taylor’s odd and unfitting inflections. Honestly, I’m just surprised the song about London didn’t chart this week, featuring an Idris Elba and James Corden sample, but that’s probably a good thing.

NEW ARRIVALS

#40 – “Dance Monkey” – Tones and I

Produced by Konstantine Kersting – Peaked at #1 in Australia, Denmark, Finland, Ireland, Norway and Sweden

Who? What? Where? When? Why? How? Okay, so Tones and I is an Australian singer who immediately came to local success with her debut single and EP, but this new single became a massive European smash, and to my surprise, it’s not even really a sleeper hit; the song was released in May, which isn’t that long ago. I haven’t heard anything about the song, admittedly, but it’s gone #1 in so many countries so I guess we’re just slow to this and the US will never get this to chart because they’re repellent to anything they didn’t make that’s this big in Europe. This is obviously Tones and I’s first ever UK Top 40 hit, and, well, this song is about how musicians are “Puppets” for the industry, or at least pop musicians, and it’s not exactly subtle about that, but I’m really not sure how she’s trying to prove that point when she’s making music just as uninteresting. There’s a couple conflicting synth and piano riffs and none of them are particularly interesting or even nice-sounding, it’s just a lot of cheap presets with a couple finger-snaps and eventually a chorus of people singing back-up with strings, but for the most of the song, we’re supposed to be focused on Tones... and she sure is an interesting singer, which I’m pretty sure is the only reason this has caught on so much, since she’s the only part that stands out and it’s an acquired taste for sure, and she’s definitely putting on the voice for the sake of the music, but honestly I don’t mind it; any attempt at making this boring pop song any interesting is appreciated, and by the end, you don’t notice it that much. Still not a great song, though, it has potential and I’m interested in what she does next.

#33 – “frick, i’m lonely” – LAUV featuring Anne-Marie

Produced by LAUV – Peaked at #9 in Singapore

Do you seriously expect a pre-amble? It’s a song by LAUV and Anne-Marie made for the 13 Reasons Why soundtrack. If that doesn’t scream, “Derivative pop music in 2019 on its last legs”, then I don’t know what doesn’t, it’s LAUV’s second Top 40 hit here in the UK since “i’m so tired” with Troye Sivan and Anne-Marie’s ninth, and it’s bloody awful. It starts with an awfully mixed percussion sample that transitions immediately into a preset beat you can easily find on a school-provided keyboard, with a random kick drum and stray vocal sample. It makes  a really odd contrast between lo-fi preset beat and LAUV’s clean vocals, until the chorus which is just ugly. The actual percussion and a strong 808 comes in, and LAUV’s in his falsetto, and it sounds pathetic. What a “Chorus” that is, oh, yeah, Anne-Marie’s incoherent and barely harmonises with LAUV at all despite an obvious attempt to. Also, “It’s been me, myself and why”? What?! The bridge tries to create non-existent momentum with no groove and instead of any musical coherency, they just ad-lib for a while on dead space until the chorus comes in, and I shouldn’t care anyway, because I don’t want to hear over-processed vocals layered on top of each other to the point of ridiculousness over a beat that I can make in seven minutes or less, with obnoxious ad-libs from Anne-Marie and sickly lyrics. This is lowest common-denominator stuff and it’s not great at all, I’m starting to think “I Like Me Better” was a fluke; if you remember my best list, I really liked that song. Oh, and just when you think the song’s ended for good, you get an extra isolated LAUV vocal riff. Why?!

Conclusion

It should be pretty damn obvious what’s getting Worst of the Week; it’s going to LAUV and Anne-Marie for “frick, i’m lonely” (That is not the true title, by the way, if it wasn’t obvious), which has no redeemable qualities at all; I’m shocked this ever got out to the public. In fact, there’s not much good here at all, so Dishonourable Mention goes to both Tones and I and Taylor Swift for being both uninteresting and completely misguided in “Dance Monkey” and “The Man”. Funnily enough both songs are overly vague commentary on the music industry. Best of the Week also goes to Taylor Swift for “Cruel Summer” though, that song rocks. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more musical ramblings and I’ll see you next week!