#also don't worry English also isn't my native language <3< /div>
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rawliverandgoronspice · 1 year ago
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Hey, just wanted to say I love reading your analysis and thank you for being a ‘pioneer’ in TOTK critique on tumblr haha. Lately I started seeing more criticism videos popping up on youtube that are solid, but your analysis is still much more detailed and presents original and valid points. You really helped me to define and put down into words some subconscious feelings that I had about the game. I feel really bad for you (but not in a pitying way) when I see blogs like ‘zeldadeservesabreak’ who come at your analysis skills and are just so unreasonably rude unprovoked (aside from being just factually incorrect at times).
My theory is that it’s their maturity. My theory is that this happens because there are younger fans of the series who seek to have a deeper analysis and discussion about the narrative and aim to sound like a worthy debate opponent who is certain about their position and due to beginners confidence and inexperience in debate come off way too strong. Another small point to add, it peaks my curiosity seeing such devotion to a corporation (Nintendo). I ‘technically’ know why and how it happens, but I’m still always surprised to see someone being so devoted to defending and speaking for Nintendo.
Just wanted to assure you that there are us who greatly appreciate you sharing your thoughts and STILL engaging with questionable Asks after this. I wait for each post or reblog with anticipation and will share your blog with my friends as soon as they finish TOTK as they were really intrigued by the imperialist Rauru depiction. On the other hand, please don’t feel pressured to continue posting if it all gets too much at any point! Thank you for reading all of this if you did! Sorry for any mistakes and poor vocabulary, English is not my native language.
Hello!
Thank you so, so very much for this very kind ask. <3 And I'm sorry it took me a little long to get around to it, I am sick and my brain is not very cooperative. :(
I am really glad to know that there are more conversations happening outside of this little sphere. I scoured for these criticisms on Youtube in the first month and then pretty much gave up when they weren't coming up. I'm glad the conversation is widening, and I hope it keeps on happening over the years --not to hurt the game or its community, but just to encourage critical thought for one, and also just so Nintendo does a little better next time.
It might be maturity, but I am not... How do I put it. I don't think it is so much a question of age or even life experience than it being a question of, well, willingness to see yourself get destabilized a little bit. To me, a lot of the hostility that I've seen directed at these kind of theories are often extremely dismissive of the place they come from; they assume either overzealousness ( = you are seeing problems where there are none for ??? profit??? or just to pretend that you are morally purer than everybody else, which is a statement that never once looked like projection), confusion ( = don't you see the game tells you that this is good and this is bad ?), or bad faith ( = you are here to stir trouble for no reason, you are a troll). Very rarely do they actually engage with the arguments, but rather with the aesthetic quality of it; the way it rings to their ear, the way it is presented, and the intent they assume that led to these arguments being made in the first place. The best counter-arguments I have heard thus far who actually take what is being said into account can either be boiled down to: "I see your point, but it just doesn't bother me that much because of X, Y and Z who really touched me emotionally and I got invested in that (which is great and super valid in my opinion)", or: "I think Nintendo just didn't think about the effect of this decision and the way it weakened what they wanted to do, but I think the overall story of what they wanted to say overrules the way they achieved it, and I prefer focusing on the first rather than the latter (which is also completely legitimate)". I have not, so far, seen a better rebuttal than: it does not bother me personally for X or Y reason, but I am not denying that these might be problems to somebody else.
But yeah. It is the childhood, it is the safe space, it is good and uncomplicated, and so anything that hurts that wonderful piece of innocence that remains must be there with bad intentions. I assume this plays a huge role in the Nintendo Protection Squad, even when the criticism is honestly pretty mild all things considered.
(Also, if I may and as I close this subject: I think this is pretty interesting how it's only unreasonable to ask for a stronger narrative. If the combat had been subpar in TotK, I would not have cared that much personally honestly, but I'm pretty sure a *lot* of people would have complained and been extremely pissed at that, and this would have been an acceptable complaint to have --like the lack of dungeons was an acceptable complaint to wage against BotW. I don't think a great combat system with a lot of variation in approach is particularly more "the spirit of Zelda" than a simple, solid and well constructed story, but a lot of BotW players would probably disagree. Which is fine, the series is evolving, new standards are introduced! But why is this one the only standard that seems to be a reach too far, an unrealistic demand, something that *should* stay a non-priority even though it once clearly was one? Gamers and their approach to storytelling will forever perplex me honestly, which sucks given it's my job but whatever, you make your own hell etc)
But yeah. To be honest, I think a lot of people who don't really understand the "imperialist argument" do not lack for media literacy or analysis or maturity (I kind of am super tired of people throwing the "you have no media literacy!" at each other while never defining what they mean by that or never actually discussing what they actually disagree about), but maybe they do lack a little bit of political culture; especially culture about political communication. Which makes sense not to have or focus on a lot when you play a Zelda game, so. It's fine. vOv
It also does not escape my notice how a lot of the reticence to accept criticism gets the most virulent around the portrayal of power dynamics and race; even though I don't think any progressive fandom faced with a story that could be boiled down to "the good kingdom of the blonde, petite, blue-eyed heroes is invaded by a huge evil man from the desert with very racialized features who forcefully rules his all-women warriors in harem garbs" should bat an eye when some people say this sort of premice makes them uncomfortable and so should be handled very carefully, especially given the global rise of fascism, anti-immigration, and deadly islamophobia everywhere right now. It boggles my mind that this is even considered a controversial statement.
Like, discussing the shade and depth of Rauru's goatman *fur* as a way to counter the criticism that what birthed the character of Ganondorf is 5 racist tropes in a trenchcoat and should be navigated with more care than this is 2023 is so... deeply unserious to me. You know, sometimes things are a little iffy and can be acknowledged as such and then you can still like the Thing and it's fine, you don't even have to engage with the parts that make you uncomfortable, it's fine it's fineee.
But no need to worry about the effect of these kind of interactions on me, though it is very sweet to do so! <3 Let's say I'm not going to bed every night worrying about my critical thinking skills, my media literacy, or wondering whether or not I understand interactive narration haha
I am a little tired of talking about TotK in general tho, to be fully honest. I feel like I've kind of scraped the bottom of my takes, and I don't have a lot more to add --so the asks will probably slow down just by virtue of not repeating myself eternally, and wanting to extract myself from some of the discourse happening (also I just don't care enough about the game to put this much energy into it, it was never really meant to happen I just started receiving tons asks for some reason??? (thank you all!! it was really an Experience!!!! but thank you!!!) and then I replied to them, and then that got me more asks, etc etc, but yeah I never planned to talk about TotK that much haha)
But thank you so very very much again!
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arxxq · 11 months ago
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𝐖𝐄 𝐅𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐈𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐎𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑..
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[ 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒 𝐖𝐇𝐘 𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋 <3 !! ]
writing for my favorite characters: itoshi rin, akabane karma, sano manjiro
itoshi rin - mentions a guitarist reader,
akabane karma- mentions of rivals troupe,
manjiro sano- grumpy girl x sunshine boy,
: any mistakes will either be left unedited or will be edited when I do so, english is not my native language so be warned, I do not support plagiarism, do not steal my works, mentions of female reader in my head but not to worry it's all gender neutral, if used she/her pronounce it's because I imagine the reader as a female I apologize for that :
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"a beauty just like your melody..." :
: itoshi rin is someone who's known to be cold and reserved to most others, some find him to be unapproachable and some find his demeanor is intimidating and some admire him for his talents, achievements and his hard work which makes it hard to believe he had someone to begin with..but he did and it was with one of the most talented guitarist in the whole school [name]. no one knew what was going on between them but some just assume they were just close friends since childhood but little did they know the two of them had a little thing going on,
it was after school, there they were one strumming their guitar while the other listened to their playing. the teal eyed man had his gaze on them so mesmerized at their beauty. once they finished [name] felt like they were being stared at so they giggled and looked at him. "did you enjoy the song or was your mind occupied somewhere else?" rin was unfazed but he let out a small chuckle which was very rare. "yk I love you right?" they were taken aback but laughed. "more than soccer?" the boy rolled his eyes "I hate to admit but I do love you more than soccer" :
"I hate you...I hate myself for that too"
: Everyone knew the hatred [name] held for akabane karma and I think it goes the same way for him as well, they were rivals since junior high even. [name] hated that red headed boy for everything, how he was better than him in most things, how cocky he gets, his behavior. basically everything. what made them hate despise him more was that he was always either one or two above her. it was time where mid years were about to come, [name] was in the library studying and it was late at night, by now no one was in the library except them and the librarian. They were getting tired and their mood was ruined. what made it worse was when they heard that voice.
"Oh well you look at that, it's miss perfect studying" that annoying voice rang in their head. "What do you want akabane?" she said with a hoarse voice. "In fact what are you even doing here," the boy studied [name]'s face and how visibly tired she looked. "Just returning a book...you should get a break you know and try and not get too worked out?" They scoffed. "I'm serious...you shouldn't get worked up," [name] glared at him. "Why the fuck do you care?" The boy was getting annoyed by their stubborn behavior. "Well believe it or not I'm not a dick like how you see me to be," he yelled. Lucky for them the librarian didn't hear "I hate you...I hate you I fucking do. I hate how you always manage to one up me, how you don't care about what people say to you, how you don't care about fitting it...I hate you and I hate myself for that" [name] admitted. The boy was taken aback. "Well believe it or not I don't hate you....I never did so let's start a new beginning for me and you?" He sat down beside you and smiled "I'd..I'd like that.."
"You're always so grumpy cheer up!"
: sano manjiro, [name] did not know how they got together in the first place because in the beginning of the year they were complaining about how immature Mikey is and how he keeps skipping class. they also complained how he is in a gang which isn't really good but now here they are together with him. At first [name] found him intimidating and everything but after getting to know him he was basically just such a big baby and pain to deal with. In their relationship they're basically the grumpy one one in the relationship.
"[Name] let's get dorayaki!" Mikey says ecstatic while the girl was not in the mood at the moment. "No please let's not I'm too tired for this Mikey!" She complains. "Come on loosen up" he drags her to his motorcycle. "Mikey don't you dare drive at an insane spee-! Mikey!" From afar draken and Emma were laughing at their odd relationship. "Those two are really something aren't they ken?" Draken laughed. "they really are"
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Authors note:
my favorite characters <3 but if you ask me between all my favorites karma will always have a special place in my heart ngl. You don't know how much I love assassination classroom to this day. It will always have a small special place in my heart and I honestly don't mind that at all.
sincerely your dear author !
-Arxx/Hasinah.
All rights reserved do not plagiarize !
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thegnomelord · 8 months ago
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hi gnome! Had a few thoughts about Hound that I felt the need to share:
I feel like Hound needs to do something to keep their head occupied after they’re taken from Makarov. Let it be doing the dishes, folding laundry, anything to keep their mind busy. Because god forbid they have to sit in silence (like u said). They hate silence so much, boredom gnawing at their mind makes them go crazy. They need to do something, anything to stop thinking about Makarov/ their pain/ maybe their past too. Rehab is just constantly doing something. And it’s almost pathetic how often Hound appears in Price’s office, silently asking for anything to do. They pick up woodcarving maybe, because it’s an outlet for the violent desire to dig a knife into something, to carve and destroy.
I was also thinking: What if Hound doesn’t want to eat anything that tastes slightly like blood, or iron in that case? What if they’re so scarred from Makarovs ‘conditioning’ (torture) that blood tastes like acid, like poison to them? They get sick to their stomach when they smell iron, too. They can’t eat medium rare meat during rehab, it makes them wanna vomit.
Sorry if my English isn’t very good, it’s not my native language. And btw, I really love your writing style <3
Dude don't worry about it, I'm not native english either but your writing is great :Dd
You're deffo right about Hound needing to just do something. I feel like at first Hound wouldn't want to come to Price, Hound holds deep grudges and Price would need to come up with ways to help him indirectly.
I doubt anyone would let him near a knife at the start and even mid way through rehab. But Hound could probably get those stress toys you can squish. You through so many in a week, along with simple things like pencils or crayons; Cracking a pencil isn't the same as breaking a spine, clenching your fist around a squish ball until it pops doesn't feel as satisfying as it does when you crush a man's skull, but it satiates the violence in your marrow.
As for your second thing; I feel like it would be the opposite. Hound's so used to the taste of blood on his tongue that he can't go without it for long, it's like a drug. Blood is one of the few constants in his life(besides death and pain), something that he knows will happen again and again so he feels safe when there's a coppery taste in his mouth. Be it eating raw steaks or just biting at his own flesh until it bleeds, Hound needs blood.
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justmymindandstuff · 6 months ago
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Dragons and Roses Part 2 - Aegon II x Y/N Tyrell (Reader)
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Summary: You are Helaena's childhood friend, your job at court is it to entertain the princess and be a friend to her. Your life is actually quite pleasant, and even her brother is no longer so unbearable for you. You would even call Aegon your friend. But everything changes and you slowly realize that your idyllic life in the Reed Keep isn't so idyllic after all. Everything you've been holding on to and belives in begins to crumble. (Part 2/ 4)
Words: 18.846
Warnings: canon typical violence, canon typical misogyny, enemies to friends to lovers, slow burn, angst, family problems, Viserys I is an ass and a bad father,
and as always english is not my native language// no beta reader so all mistakes are mine // GIF not mine.
A/N: Actually, the story should go in a completely different direction. The plan was to have a short enemys to lovers without a big subplot. That did not work. Because Part 2 is was geting too long and I still have ideas, there will be a Part 3. Anyways have fun :)
You can also read this on AO3
Part 1// series-masterlist
masterlist
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The next few weeks are, to your surprise, more pleasant than you could have imagined. The weather is beautiful, the sun is shining and the temperatures are mild. You spend a lot of time with Helaena outside, picnicking, reading or sitting in the shadows under the trees and listening to musicians.
But this morning you spent with Aegon. He tried to convince you to visit Sunfyre but you refused to visit the monsters in the Dragonpit. He had laughed briefly about your fear, but then he accepted your decision. Aegon is really trying to be a friend. He's nice to you and his sister, holds back his drinking and fornication, doesn't make any more bitchy comments, and you've discovered that underneath his arrogant facade is an intelligent, witty young man. Even if it took you a while to get used to his humor.
Now you walk back to Helaena's chambers. You open the door but than stop in surprise. You expected to find her alone, but it's not just the Queen who's here, it's Grand Maester Orwyle too. Helaena sits on her bed.
"Your Grace. " you say and sink into a curtsy befor the Queen.
“Lady Y/N good to have you here. ” says the Queen after she makes a hand gesture so you can stand up again. Worried you look over to Helaena, but she smiles to your relief. She waves you over to her, quickly you go to her and sit down next to her on the soft bed, she turns to you and you reach for her hand.
"Are you all right?" She told you a few days ago that she was feeling sick and you also notice that she wasn´t fit the last few days. A bit more tired then usually.
“Yes. The master says I’m pregnant. ” Surprised, you look at her and then you manage to force a smile on your face.
“How beautiful. ” You don't even know if you're serious. Your first thought is about the bruises on her body. But then you try to remember that Aegon is trying to do better.
“Yes, really good news. An heir to the throne. ” says Master Orwyle. You raise your eyebrows, Princess Rhaenyra has enough male heirs, it is unlikely that Aegon and his children will inherit the Iron Throne. But then the memory of the princes appears before your inner eye, with their dark eyes and hair, you remember all the rumours about the descent of the boys.
"Send for the King and Prince Aegon. " Says the Queen as she send a maid on her way.
“Are you happy?” you ask Helaena.
“I hope everything will be okay,” she answers evasively, but she smiles.
“My medical advice will be bed rest in the near future, especially in the early stages of pregnancy. ” says Master Orwyle, more to the Queen than to Helaena. You look outside and you can hardly suppress a sigh. You probably won't be able to enjoy the nice weather anymore. But maybe you could finally finish reading the Dornish fairy tales, the thick book has been untouched on the table for days now.
The doors of the chambers are opened and Aegon enters, his cheeks still a little red from the sun outside. “I was just on my way to Sunfyre. ”He says to his mother and sounds a bit like a child who has been forbidden to play his favorite game.
“There is something more important than your dragon. ” answer the Queen.
"And what?"
“You will find out as soon as your father gets here.”
Aegon just rolls his eyes. “What does he want? Wait it doesn’t matter, I don´t care. ” Queen Alicent sighs at his tone and shakes her head disapprovingly. Aegon looks around for a moment, then grabs the wine on the table and falls on the chair. He just seems to notice the presence of the Maester and he looks to his sister in bed. “Did something happen? Are you sick?” his voice no longer sounds so bored, but also hardly worried. You give him an angry look, but he only smiles at you for a moment.
"Aegon. . . " begins the Queen with suppressed anger in her voice, but she is interrupted when the door opens again and the King and Lord Hightower, the King's Hand, enter.
“What’s going on?” Helaena’s grandfather asks, even he sounds more concerned than Aegon.
“Good news. ” answer the Queen and look at Helaena with a smile. Aegon is also a bit curious.
“I am pregnant. ” answer Helaena now and smiles at her father, you can see in her eyes that she wants a positive reaction from him. The King nods and a slight smile appears on his face.
"Good. That’s good news. " He says, and then pats Aegon firmly on the shoulder. “Well done, my boy. ” Aegon twists his face and twitches away from his father. All the colour is gone from his face and his hand is cramped around his cup of wine. The King nods to Helaena once more, then he leaves the chambers again, the King's hand follows him on his foot. You see tears rising into Helena's eyes, but she blinks them bravely away. You squeeze her hand a little tighter.
“Can I go?” Aegon asks his mother.
“Yes.“ the Queen sounds tired. Aegon gets up and almost runs from the room. You want to run after him to complain about his behavior, but you know Helaena needs you right now, so you stay seated next to her on the bed.
"Is Father happy?"
The Queen takes a few deep breaths and blinks away tears, then she comes to you and sits on Helaena's other side. She, too, reaches for her hand.
“Of course. He’s overjoyed.” She says it with a forced smile. You can see in her face that she's fighting but she manages to keep that smile on her face. For her daughter.
The maester says goodbye after a moment and promises that his assistant will bring a tea for Helaena, which strengthens mother and son. How does he know that the child will become a son? The Queen talks a little more about her pregnancies and that everything was very simple and went well, while she strokes Helaena's hair. You sit in silence with both of them and just listen. You know little about pregnancies, only the horror stories about bleeding, dying mothers who are left in childbed while fathers celebrate the birth of their sons and heirs. But of course you don't say anything. Helaena is a princess, she will get the best medical care. But even that couldn't save the king's first wife, is it true that he had her cut open to save the prince? A prince who lived only a few hours. You don't want to think about a long-dead Queen and focus on Helaena and the Queen's words about how beautiful it is to be a mother and how happy Helaena will be when she holds her child in her arms. It is getting late and at some point the Queen calls for the maids for Helaena. You rise from the soft bed, your back hurts a little because you have been sitting for so long, yet you stretch your back and smooth the skirt of your dress.
“Are you staying here tonight?” Helaena suddenly asks you. The memories of your childhood come up, countless times you slept in Helena's bed. One night she'd whispered in the dark that her dreams were scaring her, but when you're with her, she knows nothing bad can happen. You were so young then. Maybe 8 or 9. Helaena didn't understand her dreams then, probably she still doesn't. But after her marriage to Aegon, he threw you out of her room one night, drunk, and from then on, your sleepovers became less frequent until they stopped. You look at the Queen, she nods and smiles at you.
“Yes, of course. ” you then answer Helaena.
You toss restlessly on the soft mattress. Somehow you can't find sleep, repeatedly you startle from short half-sleep phases. But you don't know why, your thoughts revolve around nothing in particular. You just have a bad feeling, even if you don't understand why. You hear the door open and when it quietly closes again you sit straight in bed. Helaena next to you turns to the other side, but she continues to sleep. You try to look through the curtains in front of her bed, a candle is lit and a figure appears. Quickly you jump out of bed, all your muscles are tense and you breathe to call for the guards, but then you recognize Aegon.
“What are you doing here?” he twitches in fright, his hand twitches to his side, probably to pull a Dagger or something like this, but then he recognizes you. He falls on one of the chairs at the table. You approach him and are glad that the candle gives little light, because as your bare feet step from the carpet onto the cold stone floor, you realize that you are only wearing your nightgown. You notice how the blush shoots in your cheeks but Aegon doesn't seem to notice your outfit or your shame.
“I didn’t expect you here. Aemond, maybe not you. ” he whispers as you sit at the table next to him. Now that you're close to him, you can smell the beer and the wine and the sweat hanging from his clothes. He had most likely spent the night in Flea Bottom.
“What do you mean? Why Aemond?” you say, pulling your eyebrows together, which makes Aegon laugh. He's really drunk.
“It was a joke, little rose.” he says and looks over the table at you.
“Why are you making such jokes?” the night had not been very relaxing for you until now, and his presence here confuses you. Did he want to claim his marital rights? Helaena says he only does that when he's drunk. Aegon shrugs his shoulders, the darkness makes it hard to see his facial expressions.
“Maybe it’s because sometimes I wish Mother had married them. Maybe she’d be happier then.” his words hang between you and you don't know what to say. The silence almost becomes unpleasant, but then Aegon turns his head to the bed. “How is she?”
“Why the sudden worry?” you can still remember his lack of interest in the afternoon.
“I’m always worried about her, she’s my sister.” then he looks up to you and puts a finger on his lips. “But pssh little Rose, I don’t want anyone to know. I have a reputation to lose. ”
You roll your eyes at what he says. “She’s fine, she’s worried if everything will be fine. But your mother says its normal to worry and everything will be alright.”
Aegon nods and you are silent for a moment, then he gets up with a swing. Surprised by his sudden movement and the elegance in it, even though he's obviously had too much to drink, you look up to him.
“Sleep well, little Rose.”
“I am not a little rose. ” you answer, but he just laughs softly again. “Good night, little prince.” Then you answer to annoy him a little, but immediately you regret it. Maybe you got too brave in front of him. Immediately, fear of his anger rises up in you. But Aegon only laughs quietly again and then sneaks out of the room. You sigh, blow out the candle in front of you and go back to bed. Maybe you can get some sleep before the sun comes up again.
To celebrate the pregnancy, the King organizes a large hunting party. For whatever reason, neither Helaena nor Aegon are interested in hunting. The King doesn't seem to care. So a few days later, you're sitting next to Helaena in the stuffy carriage on the way to the Kingswood. The curtains in front of the windows are closed so that the sun does not shine inside and you count the minutes until you can leave the stuffy vehicle again. Even Helaena next to you is in a bad mood.
“I wish we could have stayed at the Red Keep. ” she say and play with the fringes of the pillow next to her. “Whether I’m sitting in my rooms or in a tent. Mother didn’t even allow me to bring Dreamfyre. ”
“You are not allowed to ride your dragon until the baby is born. ” you repeat the Queen's words. Helaena rolls her eyes.
“Aegon and Aemond also come on Sunfyre and Vhagar. ”
“You know very well that this is counterproductive, the two dragons are going to scare away all the venison. It’s not going to be a successful hunt. ”
Helaena just shrugs her shoulders. The carriage stumbles and you get out. There are already many gathered, you recognize the usual small and large houses of Westeros. For the royale hunt a small camp was set up in the Kingswood, there are tents everywhere, and a large campfire is set up in the middle.
You don't really want to spend the next two days in the woods, but it´s not like you have a choice. A loud roar catches your attention, you look up and in the next moment you see two dragons falling from the sky, Vaghar is obviously much bigger than Sunfyre, but as the two approach the ground in orbit, the sun reflects on the golden dragon's scales and even if you are afraid you can't help but marvel at the dragon's beauty. Everyone says Sunfyre is the most beautiful of the Tagaryen dragons. You can't understand the beauty of these monsters, but the way the dragon moves gracefully through the air and lands almost lightly in the middle of the camp, you have to admit that you are impressed. When Vaghar lands a moment later, the whole earth trembles. Aegon slips from his saddle and Aemond lands a moment later next to his brother. The people around start clapping as the princes walk through the camp to the royal family's tent.
"Come on. " Helanea says, together you follow her brothers. When you arrive at the tent entrance, Aemond holds the cloth, which forms the entrance, to the side and you can enter. Aegon waves directly to one of the servants, who brings him a cup of wine.
“Is it wise to drink before hunting?” you ask.
He's just smiling at you.“Of course, otherwise I can’t stand all this. What a waste of time. ” You want to contradict him, but he's right. This is supposed to be a feast for Helaena and Aegon, but neither of them wants to be here. Still, you answer him.
“The King means well, he wants to make you happy and celebrate your child. ”
“He doesn’t give a shit about us. ”
"Aegon, be quiet. " hiss Aemond next to you and give his brother an angry look.
"Isn't it the truth?"
“No truth for the public.” the two princes exchange a glance and Aegon nods, then he turns back to his wine. “Come on, Lady Y/N, we’ll get you something to drink. ” Aemond holds his arm for you, and you take it. He pulls you away from the others through the tent to the edge. You notice the looks of the Lord and Lady present on you, of course you also have a prince on your arm. Aemond is a lot taller than you, but he shortens his strides so you can walk comfortably next to him.
“Is Helaena all right?” he asks, as you stand next to the buffet of cakes, fruit, sweets, nuts and other pastries, as well as Dornish wine and other drinks. Aemond grabs a sweet tea from Essos, which you like to drink, and hands you a cup.
"Yes, but why don't you ask her yourself?"
“Mother says I sould not interfere much in this pregnancy. ”
“What do you mean?”
“Not important.” he answers you with an unmoved face. Is there anything that can upset Ameond?
“You don’t mean no truth for the public?” you repeat his words, even if you’re not so sure what it means. Maybe you should ask Aegon, after all, you're friends now, and you've already talked about not lying to your friends. Aegon calls it Tyrell Lessons, but you think that's sound ridiculous.
“No lie for the public. ” what Aemond tells you confuses you even more. You miss the time when your only connection to this family was Helaena and her strange dreams and riddles that may or may not predict the future.
The day drags on with boring conversations and too much sweet cake. The Queen does her best to entertain the ladies of the court, but the highlight of the day is when the hunting party sets off and returns. Seeing Aegon and Aemond on horses is a bit strange, especially with Aemond you can see that he usually rides a giant monster and not a small horse. Helaena sits bravely next to the Queen, you know she hates all the attention, but there's nothing you can do to help her except sit on the edge and give her a cheerful smile every now and then. The ladies of the court are so busy with their gossip that they don't even realize how meaningless it all really is. Maybe it's important to them, but you can´t bring yourself to care. Why does it matter which lord cheats on his wife with whom? You don't see the point. Some of the ladies are trying to get out of the Queen if Aemond has already chosen a bride.
“This is my son’s decision. ” she answers them in a diplomatic tone. Some of the older ladies tell Helaena about their pregnancies and births, but it's more of horror stories about pain and blood, so nothing that really helps her. But something bothers you about all this, every now and then the word heir comes up. Aegon is not his father's heir. He's the firstborn son, yes. But he is not the heir, so neither will his child inherit the Iron Throne. Jacaerys is his mother's heir, he will inherit the throne, not the unborn child in Helena's womb. It seems like all these ladies have forgotten. The day drags on, you have become sick from all the little cakes you have eaten, and when a horn sounds, announcing the return of the King's hunting party, you must suppress a sigh of relief. The King arrives at the head of the caravan riding back to camp. His sons next to him, while Aemond wears an unmoving face, you can tell by Aegon's face that he's in a terrible mood. His feet hardly touch the ground, as he calls a servant for a cup of wine. The men are slowly dispersed throughout the camp, the prey is sheared and prepared for the big feast in the evening. You stay at Helaenas side and sip your cup of wine.
“Finally, this horror is over. ” she whispers relieved. "Did you not like the attention of the ladies, Sister?" Ameond sounds a little amused, or at least what comes close to amused. He has walked to you so quietly, you didn´t hear him.
“Of course not. ” answers Helaena her brother. “How did you like the hunt?”
“Just as good as you like your day. ”
For a moment you hope for a quiet evening, but the King demands music, wine and dancing and so much of the camp turns into a drunken brawl. At least Aegon will have fun today. You sigh, but you don't say anything, and you try to stay in the background.
But Aemond doesn't seem to support your plan. “My Lady Tyrell will you accompany me for a few steps?”
“Of course. “ you're saying because you can't say no, Ameond holds his arm for you and you take him agaon. You walk side by side along the edge of the camp. Again, he shortens his steps so that you can walk beside him without any problems.
“You don’t really like these feasts. ” it is not a question, rather a statement. Actually, you are always looking forward to the feasts at court, you love to dance and be among people. But this hunt is not what it seems to be. The King claims it's to celebrate Helaena and Aegon, and their child. But this is all for the King alone. He wanted this hunt. Not Helaena or Aegon. So it all has a bitter aftertaste.
“Neither do you. ”
Aemond nods. “It’s exhausting. ”
“Yes.” your conversation is stalled because you don't know what to say to him. “How is the bridal show going?” you ask after the silence between you has become uncomfortable. It was the first thing that came to your mind.
Aemond laughs briefly and then shakes his head slightly. “I’m grateful for what you’re doing for Aegon. ” he won't answer your question and just changes the subject to his brother.
“What do you mean?” you ask confusedly.
“You’re a friend to him, that’s good for him. He’s not as restless as he used to be. I just wanted to say thank you. ” Aemond stops, behind you are hundreds of people drinking, talking and dancing to music. The prince kisses the back of your hand and nods lightly. “Thank you Y/N,” he says again, then turns away and goes to the others.
You take a deep breath, the air is filled with smoke and noise. There's a strange feeling inside you. Yes, Aegon has changed in recent weeks. Yes Project Friendship seems to work quite well. He's leaving Helaena alone, he's not being mean to you anymore, and according to Aemond, he seems to be feeling better. But it can't all be because you spend time with him now and then, can it? Would he go right back to his old ways if you didn't have time for him? You're feeling pressured, but the volume around you makes it hard for you to think in peace. You turn your back on the camp and walk a few steps into the Kingswood. As soon as the trees behind you are a little denser again, it will be quiet and you can breathe in the fresh air.
You still don’t fully understand the reason for his sudden behavioral reflection, even though you’re now sure that he’s not just pretending to want to change, but that he really wants to change. And you can help him with that. But do you really want to take full responsibility for Aegon's mood? Oh, no. It's not your job. Will he be cruel again if you fight? Your temples begin to throb with all this questions, and at the thought of going back to camp, an unpleasant feeling spreads in your stomach.
You just need a little rest and then you can rejoin the partying society to play the perfect lady. You continue to walk through the forest until you come to a small clearing. The light of the moon is no longer blocked from the treetops. The scene in front of you is almost romantic, but you have no head for it now. Talking to Aemond was confusing and you're tired of the whole day of pretending. Maybe you should talk to Aegon about your concerns? But how do you start such a conversation? A voice pulls you out of your mind.
“Your father keeps telling that you’re going to be the new princess, little Lady Tyrell. ” You turn to the side and recognize Lord Tristan Lannister. A son of Lord Tyland's cousin, or something like this, maybe a son from a Aunt? It doesn´t really matter. He speaks in a cold voice and comes over the small clearing where you stand. You freeze in your movement. Why is he lying? What does he even mean? What did your father say?
“Pardon me, I don’t know what you’re talking about. ” you answer honestly and want to move back to the hunting camp, but Tristan gets in your way.
“Yes, you innocent little Rose, what a good game you are playing. To pretend to be the princess friend in order to get close to her brother. My father is terribly angry you must know. For years he has maintained good relations with the King, brought my sister to court a year early only for a boring rose to snatch away her position? I don’t think so!”
“I really don’t know what you mean. Now leave me alone!” you hissed angrily, but the Lannister doesn’t back down from you, you know they tried to get Lord Jason or his twin brother engaged to Princess Rhaenyra, but that was years ago. Apparently they have now tried to suggest Lady Ellisan as a potential bride for Aemond, but what do you have to do with it?
"I'm not going to stand by and watch my family's efforts go down in the sand yet again, and I'm sure the Prince won't find any favour in a Lady with a disfigured face.” and with that, he grabs your arm. You reach out to punch him in the face, but he intercepts your hand and painfully twists your wrist. But suddenly he falters in his movement and his eyes become wide, you notice hot air in your back and the smell of sulfur is in the air.
“Is there a problem here?” Aegon's voice sounds cold as ice, but you've never been so glad to hear it.
The grip around your arm has loosened, and you manage to tear yourself loose and turn around. Aegon is right behind you, and behind him, still half hidden in the shadow of the trees, Sunyfre. The gold of his eyes shimmer in the dark, and with every breath he takes you can see golden flames in his throat. He's ready to spit fire any second. Aegon steps forward, grabs your arm, more carefully than you would have expected from him, and pushes you behind him, but he won't let go of your arm. You see the tension in his shoulders, and as you walked past him you saw the anger in his look, now you are glad that he is standing with his back to you, because his voice is just so full of hate that you shiver.
You try to focus on Tristan's words, but you can't. You feel the heat of the dragon breath far too much in your neck, you feel the heat it radiates through your body, and panicked anxiety rises in you. Aegon says something in high Valyrian and in that brief moment you resent the fact that you never even learned it in the first place. Helaena had offered to teach you words a few times, and you could have attended her classes too, But you didn't want to have anything to do with that strange language. Sunfyre suddenly roars up loudly a sound which sounds similar to a growl, only much more threatening.
"What's going on here?" suddenly the King came, kicked out of the forest, with two royal guards and the Queen at his side. The king is leaning on his walking stick, but his whole body is trembling with anger, and that doesn't make him seem as frail as usual, almost like the authority figure he's supposed to be. The Lannister boy turns to the side and you recognize the hint of a smile.
“The prince threatened me with his dragon! He was angry because I shot a deer in the morning, which he missed. He wanted revenge. Your Grace, please help me. ” He's such a good and convincing liar, you probably would have believed him yourself if you hadn't been there.
“How dare you Aegon!” the King yells at his son. "Don't worry Lord Tristan he'll leave you alone in the future. Go back to your father, I'll take care of it. " The Lannister almost runs from the meadow, and the Queen sends her sworn shield Ser Cristion after him.
“That’s not true at all.” Aegon says now, still angry, but the King does not listen to him.
“How can you frighten the poor boy, because of something as small as a hunt?” Sunfyre makes another angry roar and you twitch in horror as the golden monster stands up to its full size.
“Aegon, get your dragon under control. ”calls the Queen, but he does not respond and only watches Sunfyre gnashing his teeth and making a step on the King. He's on the same level as you two, you're getting close to Aegon, so he's between you and the dragon. There's something in Aegon's eyes that you can't figure out, but it scares you. Would the dragon spit fire without Aegon's command? The Queen opens her mouth, but Aegon is faster. “I have him under control.” then another Valyrian word and Sunfyr retreats behind Aegon.
“We don’t control the dragons! It’s not a pet. I thought I raised you better, but maybe you’re not up to the responsibility. ”
Aegon's eyes sparkle pure anger. “You didn’t raise me at all! You don’t care about me at all. ” after he yells, it's so quiet in the clearing that you can hear your heartbeat in your ears. The King shakes his head and turns around without a word and leaves the clearing, just like the Queen and the guards.
You want to follow them, but Sunfyre bumps his head to the side so that you look straight into his eyes, startled you back, sheer panic rises up. And you reach for Aegon's arm in terror, you know your grip is way too strong and he's probably hurting.
“Aegon!” your voice trembles with fear and you must suppress a sob.
“It’s okay. I told him to protect you. ” says Aegon and then add something in high Valyrian. The dragon turns its head to him and Aegon gently strokes over the golden scales on his nose. Sunfyre expels hot air through its nostrils. You can look into the dragon's eyes from here and you're surprised how much intelligence is behind it. You didn't even realize you raised your hand, but before you touch the golden scales, you twitch back.
“You can touch him. ”
“I don’t want to. ” You say and take a step back. “Thank you, Aegon. For helping me. ” Aegon nods and when you want to leave the clearing this time Sunfyre allows it.
You're surprised when you step back into the hunting camp, all the people drinking and laughing and talking like nothing happened. Because no one noticed. The sudden volume around you makes your temples pound again and the light of the fire burns in your eyes. You take a deep breath, but the air here isn't so fresh anymore.
It smells of horses, fire, wine, meat and people. Right now everything is just too much for you, you just want to be alone. You turn towards your tent, but your father stands in your way.
Your father, who's obviously so drunk, he's talking all over the place that you are going to be the new princess of the realm. It's your father's fault! His stupid plans got you in the situation with the Lannisters. But why? And what is he planning anyway? Isn't it enough that he dragged you away from your family when you were barely old enough to speak? That he took you away from your mother? You'd never have a real relationship with her, you've been separated for too long. And it's all his fault!
An irrational rage rises in you, and for a split second, you want Aegon to burn him with Sunyre. But then you shake your head, the thoughts are not the truth, it's just the stress of the evening that makes you think like that. But if there wasn't some truth to it, where did these thoughts, this anger, come from? You have to suppress a sigh and blink a few times, the anger flies away as quickly as it came and remains an unimaginable numbness. You want to just disappear, but where? You have no answer except to just get away from everyone.
“Is everything all right, kid?”
“Yes, Father. ” You're lying, but you can't smile. Your father doesn't seem to notice, as drunk as he is.
“Good. ”
“I’m tired. Good night. ”
“Good night, my child. ” he strokes your hair and then turns to some men in Hightower green. You enter your family's tent and finally it's dark, but not completely quiet yet. You breathe deeply, your hair smells a little of sulfur and dragon, you would like to let yourself sink into a hot tub. You know there's hundreds of people out there, but you're still feeling unbelievably alone right now. The tent opens again and you turn around and expect your father to stand behind you, but it's Helaena. She doesn't say a word, but spreads her arms and you fall into her embrace. Out of nowhere, tears come into your eyes and you start to cry, your friend strokes your back and sways you lightly back and forth like a little child.
**
Your mood after the Royal hunt had only relaxed outwardly, you try to forget the memory of that evening as best you can, but you find that you feel more and more left alone. The contact with your family in Highgarden was always bad, but somehow you can't even answer your mother's letters anymore. You don't care what she thinks anymore. You notice how everything inside of you is reluctant to write a nice answer, as she expects from you. Although at first you were sad that Helaena now has to spend most of her time in her rooms, you are now at the point where you enjoy the dark room and the peace and quiet there. There, no one expects anything from you and you can sit on the comfortable sofa all day long, read or even just stare at the flames of the fire. You and Helaena have talked a lot about why you were suddenly so angry at your father, where that sudden hatred came from, but you haven't found a real solution. Helaena is not a real expert on paternal affection, but at least she still had her mother. The only thing she's convinced of is that fathers always want what's best for their children. Aemond had sent you a short letter apologizing for the incident with Lord Tristan Lannister and promising to take care of the matter, even if you don't know what that means. Nor why he's apologizing to you. He had nothing to do with it.
**
You sit next to Helaena on the soft sofa in her rooms and read some Dornish fairy tales. The fire next to you rattles quietly, the curtains are closed because the Master said so. But you know the sun is shining outside, but you still don't want to go out. You want to sit here in these dark rooms and forget about the world outside. But the world has not forgotten you. The door opens without knocking, and Aegon comes in without being asked in. You look up from the book and even Helaena turns completely to the door
“Aegon.” she says surprised and puts aside her handiwork.
“Sister.” He says, but then turn to yourself. "I've been looking for you."
“I was here. ” you answer. Aegon looks around the darkened rooms and then draws his eyebrows together.
“I thought we were going for a walk. The weather is nice. ”
“I’ll stay here. ” you say. Helaena looks back and forth between you, and then she starts talking.
“No, please Y/N enjoy the sun you don’t have to be locked in here with me. It’s boring here and if I have to be inside, you can enjoy the sun for both of us.”
“I’m not locked. . ” you start, but Aegon just interrupts you.
“You see, even my sister sees it that way. Come on. ” His voice is no contradiction and he holds his arm to you, but you ignore him and look to Helaena. She's smiling at you.
“For me?” and she won. You sigh and nod. Then you walk past Aegon without paying attention to his arm and leave Helaena's chambers for the first time in days. The Prince follows you quickly and it doesn't take long and you walk side by side through the beautiful gardens of the Reed Keep. The sun is burning on your skin but it's feels good.
“You shouldn’t lock yourself up with Helaena. ” Aegon starts after a moment, his gaze is attentive to you and you are uncomfortable. Why can't he just drink wine and fuck whores and leave you alone? Just like the last few years. But no, you had to feel sorry for the lonely prince. You regret your decision for a moment, but then you think back to Helena's bruises, the fear you've always had around Aegon, the night before he attacked you, the screaming in the guard, the desperate queen crying over her son's behavior, and you're glad that this person isn't the same person standing before you.
“I don’t lock myself in, I spend time with her. ”
"You're hiding. "
“That’s not true. ” you answer and stop, you folds your arms in front of youf chest and looks at him furiously. You feel like a defiant toddler anyway, so you can act like one.
“But you do. You hide with Helaena in the dark, and let her fill your head with her stupid riddles. ” insists Aegon, with that arrogant and at the same time bored tone that annoys you so terribly. Maybe the lonely, cruel prince isn't gone yet. But you didn't expect a 360-degree turn of character in a few months.
“You don’t have to be interested. ” you hiss at him, you notice a couple of people turning to you, and immediately you notice the blushes shooting in your cheeks. "Leave me alone. " You say, you didn't notice how loud your voice got.
Aegon's jaw is tightening, and you know he's pissed. Now he'd be yelling at you, you'd be arguing, and your friendship experiment has failed. But Aegon reacts completely differently, he sighs and steps towards you. He raises his hands defensively.
“I didn’t mean to make you angry. I just don’t want you to sink in a hole. ”
“I’m not sinking into a hole.” you give up your tense posture and breathe in the fresh air. “I should better go back inside. ”
“To sneak up with my crazy sister again. ” You roll your eyes and get mad at him again.
"Why are you so mean and dismissive of Helaena?" you ask now, you make sure you don't scream again. Why does he always have to call Helaena crazy? She's not! "I still remember a time when it was different. " You add that.
They're pale memories, memories of your childhood. A childhood where you grew up with Aegon, Aemond and Helaena, and you were somehow happy in a strange way.
"When we were kids?" Aegon asks, he holds his arm back to you, but you don't take it, you just walk next to him. There's no longer two steps between you, but that's okay with you. You nod at his question.
"Before my mother married me to my sister. Without my will. "
"It wasn't Helaena's will either. "
"I know. But it's been different since then. You said honesty is important with friends, so I want to be honest. I know my Tyrell lessons. “ He smiles at you from the side and you have to roll your eyes, but still you have to smile lightly. “But I haven’t told anyone yet."
"I won't talk to anyone about it. " you promise.
"After mum decided that I should marry Helaena, it was strange for me. I couldn't quite understand what it meant. And then at some point I realised what marriage meant. You know how my family is, so it wasn't quite as strange for me as it might have been for outsiders, but it was still strange. After all, she is my sister. I couldn't relate to her the way I did when we were kids. Not with the knowledge. So I started to ignore her. Then we got married. And you know how that marriage goes.” he laughs briefly, even though there's nothing funny about the situation.
Even though you resisted for a long time, even though you actually wanted to hate Aegon and for a while you did, you feel sorry for him. Over the years, you have turned Aegon into an enemy in your mind. Helaena's enemy and therefore your enemy. Even though he tried to mend his ways, you couldn't really forgive him for the way he treated Helaena all this time. But after his words, you realise that Aegon has no choice either. Yes, Helena probably doesn't deserve Aegon. But Aegon doesn't deserve all the suffering his family has put him through either. And if you're honest, you haven´t even try to understand him the whole time, you just hated him. Because that was easier for you. Black and white is easier than grey.
"I'm sorry. I'm sure it's not easy for you either."
"Thanks. But there’s no reason to make things any harder for Helaena.” You are surprised by this admission, or was it more of a statement? "I know we have a duty. As Tagaryans, as monarchs, as part of this family. But I can't share the bed with her sober. I've tried, honestly. But I can't, so I drink and bring it quickly behind me. I don't want to hurt her at all. She is my sister and I love her as my sister. But at the same time it makes me so angry that she is also my wife and that I have to share the bed with her. I can hardly look at her face anymore because I'm so ashamed.”
A single tear runs down his cheek, Aegon quickly wipes it away, but you saw it. You don't know what to say, you can't find the right words. Are there even right words for something like this? So you reach for his hand and squeeze it lightly, you want to show him that he is not alone with his feelings.
“Thanks for telling me that.”
Aegon looks at you in surprise and then smiles slightly. “It feels good to have talked about it.” he squeezes your hand ever so slightly. Then he sighs. “Well, luckily the problem has been solved for now.”
"Are you happy?"
He snorts. “Do you want an honest answer?”
"Of course."
“I have no idea what I´m feeling,” he says after a moment. You nod, not knowing what to say again. "I'm not happy, but Its not like that I don't care either. I don't know." He shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t want to think about it.”
You actually want to say something more, but you bite your lip. You want Aegon to respect your boundaries, so you have to respect his too.
“Alright.” You say and stop again. You close your eyes and hold your face in the sun, maybe it wasn't good for you to sit in the dark for several days.
After a moment you continue to walk in silence and as you start moving again you realize that you are still holding Aegon's hand, your fingers intertwined together, completely unconsciously. Surprised by this you release your hand from his, you feel his gaze on you, but you don't turn around to look him in the face. You just keep walking and he walks beside you in silence. The beautiful weather not only drove you two out of the Red Keep, but countless others as well. You notice how they keep giving you looks. But you don't care, you now understand that it doesn't matter what you do.
People would talk about you anyway, judge you and assume things about you. Your father used to tell you that you had to behave perfectly at court and that you couldn't make any mistakes. And you've lived your whole life based on it. You tried to be perfect. And what did it bring you? Insinuations, lies, and the clarity that this world is unfair.
For a split second you consider reaching for Aegon's hand again, knowing there will be talking, but you quickly change your mind. A comfortable silence spreads between you. You try not to think about anything and concentrate on the beautiful gardens, trying to get the faint memory of Highgarden back in your mind at the same time, but you were so young when you were taken away that it's hard for you.
You stand on one of the bushes and scratch over the open flower. From somewhere you hear a familiar melody playing and you close your eyes. You breathe the warm summer air and for a moment you are tempted to imagine what your life would have been like if you hadn't been brought to court. How different it would have been if you had grown up in Highgarden. Aegon's hand on your back takes you away from your thoughts, the touch is slightly, and when you open your eyes again and turn to him, he has already take one step back and you're not sure if you just imagined his touch.
"Do you feel better?“ he asks. You're shaking your head.
"No. But I'm gonna figure it out. I just feel lonely.” you answer honestly.
"You are not." he says, trying to bring a smile to his lips. Then he is quiet, maybe he doesn't know what else to say. Aegon turns in the direction from which the melody of the harbour comes. "The Knights of the Rose." he says after a moment and you are surprised that he knows the song. "Mother used to sing it for me to sleep."
You almost forgot that the Queen is from Old Town. The big city in the Reach shares the same culture as Highgarden
“My Nursemaid did this too.” when you came to King's Landing, she accompanied you. But she was old and left you shortly after your first moonblood."You are now grown up, my child. You don't need me anymore." You're shaking your head to shake away your thoughts about the past. "I want to go back." you say after a moment. This time Aegon doesn´t contradict and accompany you on your way back to Helana's rooms.
"I will go looking for Aemond," he says when you reach the interior of the castle, the alleys are cool on your sun-heated skin. "If you allow My Lady Tyrell, my brother and me will attend dinner with you and my Lady sitster today?“
You laugh at his formal tone for a moment, and then you sneeze.
“Helaena would be happy.”
"And you?“
"I´m too.” You answer honestly and give Aegon a smile.
**
The summer is moving forward and a tournament is being prepared for the King's Nameday in a few weeks. To your surprise, Princess Rhaenyra has arrived with her children and her uncle-husband Daemon.
The Red Keep is now even more full than usual and the usual chaos is increased again. In Helaena's rooms, fortunately, you don't get so much of it. But you're not the only one who uses her rooms as a secret retreat to hide from the royal court. The princes do the same. Aegon curses Rhaenyra and her annoying sons most of the time. Aemond calls them bastards and Helaena and you sit in silent. In the meantime, you can already see a small rounding of her belly. The princess react to the news of the pregnancy with a smile and "My congratulations sweet sister." After that she continued to ignore Helaena and her other siblings. But it's not like Aegon, Helaena, and Aemond behave differently. Most of the time they get away from the princess, her husband and their sons.
Dinner now takes place regularly in Helaena's rooms. You feel comfortable with the siblings, even if you don't really belong to them, they won't show you. You feel like you four have a little secret bond. It's a nice feeling to be part of it. Every time Aemond enters his sister's room, he pulls away the heavy curtains from the windows and lets the light of the evening sun in.
"The Masters have said that the sun is not good for Heleana."
"Nonsense. Everywhere, healthy children are born, even though their mothers are still working on the fields.”
"Fuck the masters." Aegon accepts his brother and helps himself with the wine. So you stop complaning after the second day. Maybe they're both right.
You sit at the table next to Helaena. The servants have already brought dinner, and you're giving yourself some wine from one of the pots. The princes sat opposite you and you started eating.
"You flew today, right?“ Helaena turns to her brothers, you know she misses her dragon, even though she does not fly often.
"Yes Vaghar has graciously hanged Sunfryre."
"She's three times as big as him." Aegon immediately defends his dragon.
“I won anyway. Usually, he's a little bit nimble."
Aegon turns his eyes. "He wasn´t in the right headspace."
"What do you mean?“ Helaena asks anxiously.
"I don't know. I just feel that he's restless. Something's wrong."
"You feel it?" you ask now confused. What does that mean?
"Yes," says Aegon as if it were the most normal thing in the world.
"We have a kind of bond with our dragons." Aemond starts explaining and he sounds like the Septa who taught you. "A connection. We can feel when something is not right, they can feel if something is wrong with us. They will find us wherever we are.”
You look at them in surprise, to be honest, you've never paying attention to the monsters they're riding on, your fear is too buf. But a bond between rider and dragons? You didn't expect that.
"The Dragonkeeper say Aegon and Sunfrey's bond is the strongest they've seen in years." say Helaena, surprised you look at Aegon and notice that his ears become slightly red. You hide a smile by taking a sip of wine.
"Enough of dragons." Aegon ends the topic.
"The dragon dances over the fire of the river." says Helaena suddenly in a serious tone.
Aemond looks at her confused, while Aegon rolls his eyes. "Please, sister, no riddels."
"Let her." you say quickly, but Helaena retreats and begins to play with the small wooden figures of dragons, beetles and spiders on the table.
Angry, you turn to Aegon. "You made her angry." Helaena needs a lot of rest right now because of her pregnancy and you know it's difficult for her when no one listens and understands her.
"I didn't. It makes no sense at all what she says, rivers are not made of fire and dragons do not dance!“
“But...” Aegon doesn't let you say anything, but turns his eyes and gives a sigh of himself.
"It is enough if Helaena has only her riddels in her head, not you too."
Angry at his ignorance, you loudly drop your fork into your plate and sparkle it. "If you just listen to her, you could help find out what the mysteries mean." Aegon just starts laughing. No cheerful laughter, no, he's laughing at you, directly in your face. Anger rises in you, you breathe deep to calm down.
Aemond puts his cup loudly on the table and throws a angry look at you and Aegon. "Helaena shouldn't be upset." He says in a strict tone.
"Aegon upsets her."
"Your bickering upsets her." answers Aegon. God, you want to wipe his arrogant smile off his face! Why does he make you so angry again? And so fast.
"Stop laughing." You are suddenly screaming, surprised by your outburst of anger Helaena and Aemond tremble together. Aegon stops laughing and looks at you surprised. You bite your lip and look to the ground ashamed. "I'm sorry." You say quickly. You shouldn't have screamed
“Y/N.” Aegon's voice is quiet now and you look up again to look at him. “I’m sorry, too. I will listen to Helaena from now on.” Aegon turns to his sister. "I'm sorry I upset you."
Helaena is still playing with the wooden figures, but she's looking at you and her brother. Then she smiles shy. "It's okay. Sometimes I don't even understand what I'm saying. Really Y/N. You don't have to fight for me all the time."
Yes you have to! That's your job. You're her best friend. You have to protect her. But you don´t want to upset her again, so you keep quiet.
You finish your meal in unpleasant silence.
Afte Aegon ccompany you back to your cambers, you would have preferred to go alone, but he insisted. You are silent as you walk through the hallway."
"Are we still friends?" Aegon suddenly breaks the silence.
You are surprised by the uncertainty in his voice and you look at him from the side.
"Of course." you say quickly.
Aegon is nods. "Good. I was just af..." he interrupts himself. "Good."
You're coming to your door.
"Sleep well, Aegon." You tell him and open your door. Aegon looks past you into your room, he's never been in your room before, so you can understand his curiosity.
"Sleep well little Rose."
"Little Prince." you say, courtsey and laugh at his turning eyes before you go into your rooms. You give up calling your maid and getting yourself ready for bed. You have a bad conscience because you've become so angry at dinner, but you're upset when Aegon is so arrogant. And if he ignores Helaena. You don't really feel like somebody's interested in her riddles. But she sees the future. Or? Nobody believes that, so why are you so sure? What do you know about Tagaryen magic? You put the thought aside and lie down in your soft bed.
**
The masters threw you out of the princess's chambers for a examination, but before you even got close to your rooms, Aegon caught you to play a round of cards with him in the garden. So you sit in one of the pavilions and have servants bring you wine and cakes. After your second cup, you put your hand on your cup when the servant wants to refill. It's pretty early in the day and you don’t want to spend the rest of the day drunk.
"You're boring." Aegon laugs and wins the next round of your game.
"That's not true!" you say.
"Of course, you always behave like a perfect lady. Always stay behind the walls of the Red Keeps and do what your father tells you. When was the last time you were in Kings Landing?"
His words make you a little angry. You don't always do what your father tells you to do, you just listen to your father, even if it hurts you. You're his daughter, you have to listen to him, and he always wants the best for you. That's what Helaena said, fathers always want the best for you.
"It's dangerous there." You answer Aegon's question, you've been out of town for a long time, not without guards.
"No! It's exciting. Come with me to the city for one night. Have a little fun. And don't worry, I'll keep you safe.”
There's a strange feeling under your skin, and even if you know it's dangerous and you'll regret it, the offer is too tempting in a strangely way.
"But only one night." you agree.
Aegon laughs triumphantly at you. "Perfect. I'll send you a message with our meeting point and the way." he says, pushes the cards together and stands up swinging.
"I know the way."
Aegon laughs. "Little Rose, you can't just walk through the Red Keep in the middle of the night and walk out through the gates. But don't worry, there are plenty of other ways out of here."
"Other ways?"
"Secret passages, they're built in order to escape safely in the event of an attack."
You're surprised and surprised that Aegon knows these secrets. You didn't know that the place you've lived in for almost your whole life is full of secret passages.
"See you tonight," he says with an grin, and letting you sit alone in the garden, how impolently.
**
"My Lady. A gift from the prince." A servant handed you a beautifully carved wooden box. You don't open it because you know it's the message with the directions.
"Thank you. Have a nice day." The servant is apparently surprised that you don't send the gift back as usual, but he leaves your rooms right away.
You put the wooden box on the table and you open it, not only comes out a directions, with a secret passage that begins a corridor in front of your rooms and ends outside the Red Keep, but also clothes, men's clothing. You take them in your hand and you get a familiar smell, Aegon. He sent you his clothes, probably so you could slip out better. A strange mixture of excitement and uncertainty is rising up in you. It's stupid to sneak out. It's dangerous. It is absolutely inappropriate. But then you remember your father's behavior. You deserve to behave inappropriately! At least for one night. Then you'll be the perfect lady again, but you deserved a night of freedom. So you get dressed in the evening and get on your way through the secret passages. You follow the directions and when you get scared you might have lost the right way you step around a corner and stand in front of an old door. To your surprise, it's easy to open. The next moment you step out into the dark night, the air is cool but not uncomfortable.
"Finally." you shake together as Aegon appears next to you. He does not wear his usual, decorated dresses, but dark pants and a simple shirt, yet still of high quality and made of expensive fabrics.
"I was already afraid I was going to get lost and die in these tunnels," you answered him. Aegon laughs.
"Don't worry, little Rose, I would've been looking for you." He's whining at you."Ready?" he laughs. It's probably not half as exciting for him as it is for you. He must have spent thousands of nights in the city to celebrate and visit brothels. You hope he won't take you to a brothel. You decide to trust him. Trust is important in friendship. You nod and follow Aegon down a narrow staircase on the edge of the Keep.
The city summons in a strange way, everywhere were people on the streets, they promoted goods from stands, wine, meat, bread, sweets. Somewhere music plays, there is a theater in a small square, lights are all over the narrow streets.
You could look around for hours and still not have seen everything. You've never been to Kings Landing at night and not near Flew Bottom. Aegon turns to one of the market stands and comes back in the next moment with two cups full of dark beer. Carefully you take a swallow and have to suppress a cough at the bitter taste.
"It is always like this?” you ask surprised.
"No. The smallfolk are celebrating the Night of the Smith today.”
"What?" you ask confused. The feast of the Smith would take place at the end of the week and it is not actually a feast. “The Smith is honored by practicing one day in restraint, water instead of wine, bread instead of cake.” you remember your lessons on the Seven.
Aegon takes a sip of his beer.. "It's good that I don't believe in the Seven. Restraint is not my thing. And the smallfolk celebrate differently than we do, do you really think they need a day by practicing restraint when they don't have enough money for food every second day?“
You swallow once, you know you're privileged, but you don't think about it often. Actually, never. You, outside of your maids and servants, don't come into contact with the smallfolk. "You're right." You say and you're ashamed of your stupidity.
Aegon laughs again and then touches your hand slightly. "Come little Rose, there's no reason to let the mood go down."
"I am not a little rose." you complain as you follow him down the crowded streets.It seems that none of the people had any concerns. People talk, dance, laugh and drink. And all this on the open road.
"Yes you are." Aegon laughs and drinks his cup empty. Then he noods at your cup, which is almost full. You're quick to take a couple of sips too. Aegon smiles at you, an honest smile that he rarely shows.
"Come." He's holding your hand out and you take it. Excitement creeps under your fingertips, where your skin touche his. Aegon close his hand around yours and draws you along the street. The city is noisy and full, but you feel good. When you come to a small place, you finally see where the music comes from. A group of musicians are playing on the edge of the square and the people are dancing and drinking. It is not the dance steps that you dance at court, everyone simply moves to the music as it pleases him. Children rotate quickly in a circle, couples weigh each other tightly wrapped back and forth. A few young girls are guided by men through simple steps with quick turns.
"A dance?" asks Aegon from the side. You drink your cup empty with and nord.The prince pulls you between the dancing people, his hand is on your back, while his other still holds yours. You move to the music, you weigh easily back and forth. It takes a moment, but then you find your rhythm with each other, with the music, with the people around you. A faster song is played, Aegon makes you turn around yourself several times and when you get slightly dizzy and as you stagger to the side his hand is there to supports you and draws you backt to him so that you do not lose balance. You giggle stupidly, moving to music, and when you're taken by a group of young girls and when your are laughing together in a circle, you feel freer than ever in your life. Here and now, no one expects you to dance the perfect dance steps or to be a perfect lady. Nobody knows you here and it feels good. You dance with the strange girls for a while, and then you dance with Aegon again. At some point, you move on through the streets, you drink a lot of beer and taste sweet fruits and drink a juice that strangely burns in your throat and causes you to cough.
"Little Rose, this is not the wine you drink at Red Keep, be careful." Aegon laughs, takes the cup out of your hand and drinks it for you empty. He doesn't even grimaces.
You rolled your eyes and grinned at him. “I thought we would have fun today little prince.” You say challengingly. Aegon laughs and you laugh out loud too. You don't even care that a few people are looking at you strangely. You don't think and grab Aegon's hand to pull him further down the street. You want to see everything before this evening is over.
The sun rises over the city as you approach the Red Keep again. Your hand is still in Aegon's, it feels good. Aegon leads you past the high wall to a small door, it's not the same path you took on the way outside, but you follow him without hesitation into the dark hallways behind the door. The air here is musty and when the door closes behind you it is dark all around you. You squeeze Aegon's hand a little tighter just to make sure you don't lose him. The beer and wine you drank gave your head a light cloud, but you're fine. You walk through the dark hallway.
Aegon opens a door and you come through another hallway. It's a little brighter here, light comes from small openings in the wall from above. However, the ground is muddier and after a few steps you slip. Surprised, Aegon also slips slightly to the side and your back hits the wall, but you manage to catch you. Aegon is now standing directly in front of you.
This situation would scare you a few month ago, but not now. Not just because you drank a little too much, but because you really trust Aegon. He raises his hand and carefully pushes a strand of hair out of your face. His eyes move from yours to your lips and then back to your eyes.
“Did you have fun?” he asks and he is so close to you that you can feel his breath on your skin.
“Yes.” You answer honestly. "And you?"
"Yes. You are a better company than the one I have usually."
You laugh. "Thank you I take it as a compliment to be a better conversation partner than your whores."
Aegon also laughs quietly, he comes half a step closer to you. He's so close to you now that you can feel the warmth of his body. A nervous tingling form under your skin. You have to swallow, looking nervously to the side, because you can't stand his gaze. The alcohol in your blood makes it difficult for you to think, and Aegon's smell surrounding you confuses you. Aegon's hand lies on your cheek and he gently turns your head, so you have to look at him. He bends a little, then stops again. You can feel your heart thundering in your chest and the blood pulsates through your ears.
"May I kiss you?" His voice is hardly a whisper, so quietly he speaks. A hot shiver is passing through your body. You want his lips on yours, this sudden recognition makes you shake. But it's wrong. You can't want him. You shouldn't want him.
"Friends don't kiss eachother." you get out breathless. His proximity is confusing, and you almost don't notice how to prevent yourself a little, you want to yield to the desire. You want to kiss him. In the next second, reality breaks over you. That's wrong! Aegon is your friend. You're drunk. That's wrong. "We can't." you say in a firm voice, you are surprised by yourself, but you turn your head a little to the side and push him a bit away from you. He allows it, steps a step back, but he does not stumble.
"Come. I'll bring you back, you have to go to your rooms before anyone notices you've disappeared."
Confused, you stand at the wall for a moment, hot shame rises in you. This moment was absolutely inappropriate, even though nothing happened. You take a deep breath and you realize that Aegon is already gone. You're afraid he left you here in the secret hallway, but you can hear his voice just a few steps away from you.
“Y/N?”
"Yes," you answer him, your voice sounds strange in your ears. Aegon holds his hand back for you, and you take it. He leads you through the dark hallways until you come out again in the hallway near your rooms. Just a corner and you'll be safe back in your rooms without being caught. You're a little proud of yourself that you actually succeeded in slipping out of the Red Keep. You're turning around the corner and froze. Your father is standing in front of your door, he must have been about to knock. Gods, why is he here so early? Your father turns around when he hears footsteps and when he recognizes you, still in men's clothes, with messy hair, his eyes darken.
"Y/N!" his voice trembles of anger and your heart is shaking. Damn it, you're in a lot of trouble now. Your father comes to you and you know that if he comes a little closer, he'll smell the alcohol in your breath. "Where do you come from? And what do you look like?"
"Father I can..." you start, but you are interrupted by Aegon, who suddenly appears behind you and places his hand on your back as he stands very close to you. God, what's he doing?
"Lord Tyrell," he says, and he sounds much more drunk than he did a few minutes ago. "It's nice to see you. Don't worry about Lady Y/N. I just wanted to escort your beautiful daughter safely to her rooms."
"My prince." your father sounds insecure. You've never heard his voice like that before.
Aegon puts slight pressure on your back so you move and go to your cambers.
"My Lady Tyrell. I wish you a pleasant morning," he says, kissing your hand and winks to you. On his lips lies the smile of a little boy who had successfully stolen chocolate from the kitchen.
"My Prince." You curtsy and go to your room. You breathe deeply and exhale. Even though you've been awake all night, you feel euphoric rather than tired. You wait another 10 minutes for your father to come after you and preach to you, but he doesn´t come. So you call your maid and let you take a bath. You try to review what happened all night, but your thoughts are always hanging at that moment in the dark secret passage. A few more inches and you'd have kissed. You can feel your cheeks getting red again. Gods. What are you doing? Aegon is your friend! He's your best friend's husband! And you almost kissed him. You have to make a distance between you two. Not emotionally, no, but physically. This must never happen again.
Your father come to your rooms in the afternoon. "Sit down, my child." He says you're swallowing and falling on the chair. Nervously, you start playing with your sleeves. Now the sermon would come. "I'm proud of you."
Your gaze hurries up at his words and you know that your confusion is written in your face. You expected everything from screaming, or threats, to an instruction to go back to Highgarden, but not that. "Pardon me?“
"I'm proud of you. You wrapped both princes around your finger. Very well done.“ You are sure you don't. You want to answer your father, but he just keeps talking. "But you have to concentrate on one, my child. There's been talk. When it comes to marriage, your virtue must be exalted above any doubt. Prince Aegon is already married, so please concentrate on Prince Aemond. You'll be a princess, that's better than a prince's mistress. Isn't that wonderful?"
What? What wedding? What's he talking about? None of this is wonderful. "But Father I don´t want Aemond... I… I don´t want to marry the prince."
Your father looks angry at you now. "What are you talking about? You will be a princess."
"I don't want to be a princess," you insist.
"Don't talk nonsense. Your marriage to Aemond will give our family a lot of influence. That's a good thing. Do what I tell you, my child." he kisses your hair and then leaves your rooms without a word. Confused, you stay sitting and staring at the closed door. That was a joke, wasn't it? You don't really understand what this conversation was supposed to be about. You leave your rooms to go for a little walk to get your head free. You know you don't want to marry Aemond. But your father expects that from you. But can you really live a life with a man you don't love and do not want to marry just to make your father happy? No. But what are you supposed to do? Can you do anything at all?
You are ripped out of your mind when you hear your name. You turn around, Aegon comes to you. Immediately shame rises up in you, but Aegon has a smile on his face.
"And was your father with you?" When he arrives by you, he holds his arm out for you. You hesitate a second but then take his arm. Aegon turns you in the opposite direction, so you go towards the gardens. Forgotten is your intention to not come close to him physically anymore.
"Yes, I thought he would get angry, but he wasn't. He says he's proud of me because I wrapped two princes around my finger." When you repeat your father's words, you feel bad. Aegon starts to laugh quietly and shakes his head. You actually thought he was gonna get angry.
"What else did he say?“ he asks and acts like a curious boy.
"That I should concentrate on Aemond, because it is better to be a princess than a prince's mistress."
This time Aegon laughs loudly. "Why? Isn't it enough for him that I like you and put a little prince bastard in your belly? I am insulted."
There was this direct kind again that made you so angry not so long ago, but now you have to laugh.
"That's not funny at all," you say anyway. "What does he think I'm doing all day? I didn't wrap anyone around the finger. Not you, and not Aemond. Why isn't he angry? He even supports that. What does he imagine?“ the words just come out of your mouth. Aegon stops, so you have too. And suddenly you realize that your father told you the first time he was proud of you. Because he thinks you've seduced two men.
Tears rise in your eyes at this thought. Aegon looks confused about your sudden change of mood. He gently raises his hand, but before it touches your cheek, he stops.
"Can I?“he asks quietly and you nod. He wipes a hair out of your face and then leaves his hand on your cheek. "He wants to make you a princess. He wants power and influence and that's what he wants through you.“
You're swallowing. "Why?" you ask, and it sounds desperate and sad. A strange mixture of anger, sadness and confusion rises up inside you and you don't know how to deal with all of that. You don't know what to do. Listen to your father? Seduce Aemond and become a princess? But you don't want that! You don't want that in any case!
"Because it's always so," replies Aegon. His voice sounds emotionless, as if he were quoting facts from a book. "Who do you think brought my mother into my father's bed? Otto Hightower, her father."
"Are all fathers like that?"
"I don't know, my father barely speaks more than three sentences a week with me. If at all. Or he's yelling at me." Aegon shakes his shoulders, hatred flashes in his eyes, but the short glimmer disappears immediately when he looks at you.
You sighs when you realize what kind of place you're actually living in. This place was full of liars, and men all pursuing their own goals. They all want more wealth and power and influence on the king.
"I don't want to be a princess." you say quietly. You don't want anything like that. You don't want to be Aemond's wife, you do not want to live in the Reed Keep. You don't want to be a figure in your father's game of more power. You just want your peace. You want to sit in the sun, eat cakes and listen to Helaena talking about beetles.
"You don't have to," said Aegon with compassion.
"But my father. I can hardly tell him that I will do nothing."
"Then don't tell him." Aegon shrugged his shoulders. "Lie to him, I always do this with my mother.“
"You know she knows you're lying to her?“
"Of course."
"It hurts her."
"I know. But no matter what I do or not do, she is disappointed in me anyway.”
"That's not true." you're trying to get him up, but Aegon just shakes his head.
"Let us stay with you and your father." you turn your eyes at his words, but he keeps talking. "As I see it, you have two options. First, you stick to Aemond and get him to marry you. I'm honest, if you asked him, he'd choose you. He would be a good husband to you, would do his duty." with his words, everything in you is drawn together. You don't want to associate your marriage with the words duty, even if it's a hypothetical marriage to the prince."Or option two, you give a fuck about what your father says to you and just have fun in your life and lie to him. So what are you going to do little Rose?”
"He could send me away." the thought of leaving Helaena alone makes you ill.
"Helaena would never allow that."
You have to laugh a little about the confident in his voice. Your reality is so different, even though you live in the same place.
“She would not be able to do anything if my father decides I have to leave.”
"She's a princess, she can order you to stay."
"The king would have to agree, she is just a princess."
Aegon becomes aware of the scope of your words. "Then I insist that you stay. I am a prince, your father can do nothing against me."
His words make you smile. "So which option do you choose, one or two?“ asks Aegon now again in a better mood.
"Two," you answer, and you feel like you're doing something forbidden, even if you are only thinking about lying to your father. Aegon laughs at your words like a boy whom sweets are allowed.
"Very well, little Rose, let's have fun."
"I know your definition of fun, but I don't think I have that much pleasure in wine, whores and gambling." you answer as a joke, but Aegon's gaze is darkened.
"Do you really think that's the only things that interests me?“
"No!" you say quickly, even if you are not sure what his interests are. You know he likes history, even though he hates reading books. You know he loves his dragon. You know his favorite Wine is a red one from Dorne. He has a preference for long nights and likes to dance, even if he doesn´t do it often. "I'm sorry. What do you want to do?“
"We can go to Sunfyre," he suggests.
"No." you say quickly, you would prefer bordels and wine.
"You've lived here for years and you're still afraid of dragons."
"They are monsters."
"Sunfyre is not a monster."
"Sunfyre may not, but dragons. They are dangerous, unpredictable, wild and uncontrollable.” on Aegon's face appears a smile and his eyes flash short, then he bites himself on the lip. You're putting your head wrong. "What?“
"Nothing."
You're pulling your eyebrows together. "Tell me what you think."
Now the prince laughs and shakes his head. “No way. You're a lady." You look at him confused.
"What?“
"Come little Rose. A walk by the water will do us good, it's almost fun." he then says and nods towards the walls that separate the Red Keep from the sea. He holds his arm back and you take it without hesitation. You don't talk about the moment in the hallway. But that's okay for you. You even prefere it like this, so you don´t die out of embarrasment.
When you fall into bed early in the evening completely exhausted you breathe out relieved, you were not awake for so long. You close your eyes and you fall asleep in almost the same second. That night you dream of Aegon. You dream that you gave him this kiss. You let him kiss you and let him go further than an unmarried lady should allow.
**
You're sitting in Helaena's rooms, you've removed the curtains, it's raining all day and dark clouds are drawing over the sky. The fire burns in the fireplace and releases a pleasant heat. You read to Helaena in a quiet voice. A book about folklore from the north, there are stories about the others, Direwolves, Mammots, Giants and other magical animals that no longer exist.
"I have to go to Dreamfyre." Helaena interrupts you so suddenly at an exciting place that you flinch. You look up and only now notice that your friend probably hasn't listened to you in a long time.
“Now?” you ask surprised. "Why?" it rains in streams outside and you sit here in the warm and dry cambers, why leaving?
"I have to," she answers you, even if that doesn't answer your question at all. "Please Y/N, come with me." Of course you go with her.Does it have anything to do with the bond between dragon and rider? A short time later you sit in a carriage, on your way to the Dragonpit. The rain rushes to the roof of the wagon, the drumming of the drops makes you nervous, and Helaena's sudden restlessness doesn't help either. She grabs your hand for a moment, but then immediately releases it and looks out the window of the cart.
"Is everything okay?"
"Yes. I have to go to Dreamfyre.”
"We're there in a minute."
Your journey don´t take long, and you and Helaena quickly run to the entrance, so that you do not get completely wet. When the heavy door falls behind you, you take a deep breath. You winkel your nose at the stink. Helaena turns directly to the dragonkeeper, the two turning to the center, where a ramp leads down. But you keep standing still on the wall, being in the Dragonpit is actually a lot too close to the dragons. Why couldn't you stay at the Red Keep? Helaena and the dragonkeeper disappear from your search field and you remain alone in the big hall.
A hiss catches your attention and at the next moment Sunfyre comes through one of the entrances into the Dragonpit, where are the Dragonkeeper? Why can he run around freely?
“What are you doing here?” you flinch when you hear Aegon's voice. He slips from his saddle and lands next to Sunfire's leg. He wears black leather with the inserted signet of his house. He's already taken off his gloves and he's completely wet. Individual drops of rain fall from his blonde hair. Sunfyre turns from Aegon to you and comes a few steps toward you, black smoke threads coming from his nostrils.You shy away from the golden monster. "You don't have to be afraid." You look at him in disbelief. Aegon strokes the dragon's neck.
"Come here."
“No.”
Aegon rolls his eyes, but he smiles. “Don’t worry little Rose.”
You want to tell him that you're not Little Rose, but the way you're standing against the wall, scared, you don't believe yourself. Pride takes hold of you and you slowly take a few steps closer until you stand next to Aegon and Sunfyre. "Can I take your hand?" you nod. Aegon takes your hand. His skin is cold from the rain outside, but you still feel like a warm shiver is running down your arm. Aegon places your hand carefully on Sunfyre's neck. The dragon's skin feels different than you thought. You thought the scales were cold and hard, but the dragon radiates incredible heat. “See not dangerous.” Aegon is so close to you that his breath tickles your ear and you get goosebumps on the back of your neck. Your hand carefully strokes the dragon's neck. Sunfyrer holds still, but his eyes watch you carefully.
“I always thought dragons didn’t like strangers.” you say quietly and lower your hand, but Aegon doesn’t let go.
“It depends on the dragon. They are like us, have preferences, hate things, like certain hunting areas. And you’re not a stranger.”
You turn slightly to look at him questioningly, you were never as close to the dragon as you are now. “I told him about you.”
You’re just speechless for a moment. “Why?” your voice doesn’t sound like your voice at all, it sounds thin.
“I tell him everything that happens in my life.” Aegon answers you and then he smiles at his dragon. He looks at least 2 years younger than he is. "He is my best friend. For a while he was my only friend." Aegon strokes the dragon's neck lovingly, then he turns completely to you, his one hand is still in yours and he plays with your fingers.
“I’m glad we’re friends.”
You just stare at him speechless for a moment. Yes, Aegon had insisted on your friendship. He practically begged you to be his friend, but hearing that from him still somehow surprises you. And it makes you happy in a strange way.
“I’m glad too that we are friends.” you answer him and you mean it. Yes Aegon is your friend. Even a good friend, oddly enough.
Your gaze goes from his eyes to his lips and back to his eyes again. How would his lips feel on yours? You take a step back to put distance between you and Aegon. This man is your best friend's husband! And your friend. But Aegon takes another step towards you, his hand finds yours again and your fingers intertwine almost automatically. It's a strange feeling, but also somehow nice.
“Y/N…” he starts but a loud roar from the dragon pit makes you both flinch. Aegon narrows his eyes. "Dreamfyre."
“What?” How does he know? It could have been any of the dragons down there. The princess's children had, of course, brought their dragons with them from Dragonstone. Syrax and Caraxes are also down there.
“Wait here.” Aegon turns away and runs towards the dragon pit, worry sparkling in his eyes.
“No Aegon! Wait." but he's already gone and you're standing next to Sunfyre, unsure, confused and frustrated with yourself and him.
The dragon seems to be watching you. “You’re not eating me, are you?” you then ask and almost laughed at yourself. Dragons only understand high Valyrian. Or? Do they even understand it or are they just reacting to it? Is it magic? You don't know enough about dragons to answer these questions. Can anyone actually answer these questions? Sunfyre turns his head in the direction Aegon disappeared, but he remains standing next to you. You think for a moment and then raise your hand again to stroke his golden scales. His eyes flicker to you briefly, but he makes no move to eat you and remains motionless. You don't know how long you wait, but at some point you hear footsteps and the next moment Aegon comes back upstairs with Helaena at his side. Your best friend is crying and her dress is dirty and a little smeared with blood. Cold fear runs down your spine, you run towards the two.
“What happened?” you ask breathlessly and let your gaze roam over Helaena, but apart from a scraped arm she doesn’t seem to be injured.
"Arrax." Aegon's voice drips with anger. You don't know whose dragon Arrax is, but Aegon seems to know.
You take Helaena carefully in your arm, she's trembling.
"I'm fine," she says, trying to give you a brave smile. "The baby too."
The way back to the Red Keep is quiet, Aegon sits next to Helaena and looks at her all the time worried, even though she assures him that she's fine.
"I will kill this bastard and his fucking dragon."
You know everything you're saying right now won't do anything to calm him down, so you shut up and keep holding Helaena's hand. When you arrive in the castle yard, Aegon jumps out of the wagon and rushes inside. You help Helaena out, and you go inside together. The door closes behind you, and Aemond comes to you.
"What happened? Aegon seems..." he stinks when he sees his sister. His gaze goes over her and there is pure concern in his eyes. "angry." he then ends his sentence. "Sister, are you all right? What happened?“
"Arrax has come too close to Dreamfyre," she replies. "She was worried about me. I fell."
Aemond pulls his eyebrows together. "Go to the Master," he says.
"Y/N, please bring her."
"Of course." you say and drag Helaena in the direction of the master's rooms. But you don't get there, Sir Criston Cole, the queen's sworn sword, gets you two passes in advance.
"Princess, Lady Y/N the King demands your presence in the Throne room."
"She has to see the master first." you contradict without thinking, and only then you notice that you have contradicted a direct order of the king, and fear shrinks in your stomach. Sir Cole's face turns a little, and he's nibbling. Nevertheless, he says,
"The king says immediately.“ you can hear from his voice that he doesn't like this order, but he's part of the Kings Guard. He has to do what the king asks.
"All right." Helaena says and so you are on your way to the Throne room. When the double doors open, they release a strange scene. Aegon, Aemond and the queen on one side, the princess, her uncle-husband, and two of her sons and the king on the other side. Aegon curses and screams, the hand that his mother puts on his arm he roughly pushes away. Lucerys has a blue eye and blood sticking to his lip.
"That doesn't explain why my son is being attacked." Rhaenyra brushs over Aegon's curse. "I demand an explanation and a punishment!"
The king looks at his two children, first his heiress, then his firstborn son.
No one is watching you as you and Helaena walk through the room and stand beside Aemond. Helaena holds your hand tightly in hers and you notice her hands trembling. So you rub your thumb over the back of her palms to calm her down. The Queen walks at Helaena's other side and takes her other hand, giving you a grateful smile.
"Arrax attacked Helaena," Aegon insists.
"That's not true! He would nerver do that." answers Lucerys. "Surely Dreamfyre attacked him and he just wanted to defend himself."
"Dreamfyre was chained! Why not Arrax?“ Aemond asks.
"On the Dragonstone they are also free."
"Than go back to Dragonstone, Bas…."
"Aegon," cries the Queen. He looks briefly at his mother, then walks his gaze over his nephew and back to Helaena who is still standing in her dirty dress and blood-smelted arm. His gaze remains at the curvature of her stomach, again flashes pure hate in his eyes.
"Bastard." he spit the word into Lucery's face. Jacaerys comes a few steps toward you, his hand to his fist. Helaena and you unconsciously retreat from his aggression, Ameond next to you also takes a step forward and stands between Jacerys and the Queen. There's tension in the room, and you know, if one of the princes is taking a wrong step now, there's gonna be a fight, or worse. Gods be good, let them all calm down.
"Enough!" shouts the king, Helaena squeezes slightly beside you and presses your hand stronger. Aemond mirrors his nephew with a murderous look in the eye. Lucerys was the one who cut off his eye in that terrible night on Driftmark. There were no consequences then, and you're almost sure there won't be any today. "Aegon! I should have your tongue cut out for that, you know the law." Aegon turns his eyes at his father's words, you know exactly what he thinks, "Try it old man." The King ignores Aegons despite and simply continues to speak. “I don't want any quarrels! Not on my name day! How many times should I tell you all that you should get along? What else should I do?“
You are confused and angry at him, does he not know that you cant demand such things?
"You're not doing anything!" Aegon exclaims to his father. The King raises his hand and strikes him in the face. But he is old and sick, the blow may not have really hurt, yet it was humiliating. The Queen gasps next to you.
"I said enough!“
"Father! You let him get away with such an insult, such a lie?“ says Rhaenyra. She doesn't pay any attention to Aegon and his siblings, but only looks at her father.
You look at her unbelievingly. What's going on here? Helaena was attacked and now Aegon is the one how gets to be punished? The King shakes his head, his gaze is deeply sad and at this moment he seems incomprehensibly old and sick, so you wonder why he can still stand on his own.
"Aegon, you will apologize."
The blonde prince laughs cheerlessly.
"I'm gonna do a shit." “That’s not enough,” Aegon and Rhaenyra say at the same time. Aegon looks at his older sister, Rhaenyra looks at him, her look is ice-cold just like his. For a moment, brother and sister sparkled in anger. Then Aegon breaks eye contact, turns back and escapes from the throne room,. Rhaenyra opens her mouth to say something, but the Queen interferes now.
"We should forget the matter," she says in a firm voice.
"Yes." Viserys agrees. “I don’t want to hear about it anymore. Into your cambers all of you!" his voice does not tolerate contradiction.
Helaena moves her weight back and forth next to you, she is dissatisfied with this result. You are too. Even if you didn't expect anything else. Rhaenyra makes a dissatisfied sound, but her husband puts one hand on her shoulder and with the other hand scolds the children out of the room.
Aemond looks at his mother, who nods and releases Helaena's hand, then takes her face into her hands and kisses her forehead. "Please go to the Master my child, I will come to you soon."
"Yes, Mother." says Helaena, you follow her from the throne room, a few steps behind you. The door closes behind you and a few tears flow from Helaena's eyes. You grap her hand quickly. You want to say something, but Aemond stands next to you and puts his hand on his sister's arm.
"Y/N," he says and looks at you. "Please follow Aegon. I will bring Helaena to the master."
"Wouldn't it be better if you talk to him?" you want to stay with Helaena, you want to make sure she's okay.
"No. Believe me, Y/N, it's better if you do that. When I speak to him, the Strong brothers will be found in their beds tomorrow with their throats cut open.” his voice is cold, and you've got a shock over your back. That wasn't a joke. You squeeze Helaena's hand, let go of her, and then follow Aegon. He has take the way to his cambers, and you hear the door slaming two corridors ahead, so loudly he beats it into the fishing. You encounter two maidens who quickly escape from the prince's rooms, presumably he screamed at them and sent them away. Without knocking, you just open your door and step in, quietly close it behind you.
"I told you to go." Aegon revolves furiously around, his eyes shine dangerously and his whole body trembles, but when he sees you, he relaxes his shoulders. He close his eyes and take a few breaths. He doesn't move for a second, then he turns away from you and throws his cup of wine against the nearest wall. You're scared, but Aegon is not done yet. His next target are the chairs, the wood crushed as he blows it against the table with full vigour, splinters flying and the candlestick, as well as a vase of flowers that were placed on the table, falling to the ground creeping. The scraps spread and the water mess up the tail of your dress, but that doesn't really matter to you.
"Aegon." you start, but he doesn't hear you. He's too caught up in his anger. It is only after he has destroyed half his facility that he seems to calm down a little bit. His breath goes fast as his eyes restlessly wander through the room, like he was looking for something. His body is still trembling with anger. Then his gaze find yours. For a second it seems like time is stopping, you don't even dare to breathe. Then a sop comes out of Aegon's throat, tears run over his face, and he falls to his knees. With quick steps you are near him, sink next to him on the cold stone floor and pull him into a tight hug. He clings to you and starts crying in your neck. You rock him back and forth, like a child, as you try to calm him down. Silently you sing a melody, the song of the knights of the roses.
"I hate him. I wish he was dead." He wishspers quietly in your shoulder. You know he's talking about the King. You can understand him. Even if it's actually high treason what he says. You stroke over his shoulders to calm him down. “My brother lost his eye, he didn’t care. My pregnant sister was attacked and wounded by this dragon worm, he didn't care. Where is the border? When did he start to care? Does one of us have to die first?“ you have no answer to his questions, there is no answer. His eyes are filled with tears, but his eyes stick to your face. You can feel tears accumulating in your eyes.
"I'm so sorry," you say and you mean it. No one deserved such treatment and it's even worse because this treatment comes from his father. You reinforce your grip around his shoulders, push him closer to you. You want to show him that he's not as lonely as he feels right now. At some point his tears dry on his cheeks, he collapse in your arms. Your knees hurt because you're sitting on the cold stone floor and your back hurts slightly, yet you don't move a bit and just hold Aegon in your arm. "You should sleep." you say in silence. He nods at your neck, slowly he rises up. His eyes are bloodshot, he's pale and his gaze is matte. Nevertheless, he helps you on your feet, his hand doesn't let go of yours and he starts playing with your fingertips.
"Will you stay with me?“ he speaks so quietly that you are sure you just imagined his question, but he looks at you uncertain. Your heart almost tears at the sight, and before you can even think, you nod. You go to his big bed, Aegon falls on the soft mattress and just pulls you with him. You end up next to him and of course his bed is a thousand times softer than yours and a hundred times more comfortable than Helaenas. The sheets smell like him, everything here smells like him. You slide under the blanket and slide a little back and forth until you lie comfortably, you don't care if you ruin your dress, it's messed up anyway. Aegon is lying next to you, so close that your fingertips can touch each other, he's rubbing his finger over yours. Seven hells, what are you doing here? You lie in the prince's bed. With the prince. With your friend Aegon. You close your eyes. The gods would curse you, but for what are the gods good at all when they are so unjust? So you decide you don't care tonight. You slide closer to Aegon, lift your arm and lay it around him, start to gently fondle his neck and comb through the short hair. He makes a sound that lies somewhere between whimpering and sighing.
"Is this okay for you?“ you ask quietly and feel him noding.
"Yes. More than okay. Please don't stop," he whispered. A smile play around your lips and you sink deeper into the soft pillows, not stopping fondle his neck and hair. His breath is starting to calm down, his shoulders are relaxing and his hand is laying under the blanket on your hips. He holds you tight even if you're not planning on going anywhere.
"Sleep well, Aegon." you say in the dark after a few moments, you're not even sure if he's still awake.
"Sleep well, my little rose."
**
taglist: @arabellachant
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writingquestionsanswered · 4 months ago
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I'm planning on publishing my written fiction online in both Portuguese (my native language) and in English (the other language I speak which might help to share the story with more people), but something is worrying me.
I watched a movie where the a main character (a writer) had a book that wasn't popular and another character "translated" into her language (what she actually did was rewrite it as an erotic novel) and the book was super loved there (the readers didn't know the book was supposed to be different)
Sometimes I see artists who allow fans to share translations of their comics, but I'm concerned on what could happen if someone asked for permission to translate. Do you think it's worth the risk of someone making my story popular with something that goes against my values, like supporting disregard to a human right or making it erotic when it was supposed to be family-friendly?
Worried About Fan Translations
I want to be clear that this advice is specific to fiction published online versus e-books or print books, which are a different matter entirely. First and foremost, if you post a story online, give permission to a fan to translate it, and then they rewrite it into something else, that is plagiarism and a copyright violation, and you have every right to ask them to take it down. If they refuse to cooperate, you can threaten them with a lawsuit, even if you don't really have the means to follow through. That could be enough to get them to take it down. If not you can report them to the platform for stealing your work. You can also let your fans know that this person has stolen your work and to please block them or refuse to engage with them.
If you post a story online and are approached by a fan who asks to translate it into their native language, there are some things you can do to potentially protect yourself:
1 - Do not give them permission to post the translation on their own account. Thank them for their offer and let them know you're happy to let them translate the story, but they will need to e-mail it to you so you can have it vetted and post it on your own account with credit. Be clear that you do not give them permission to post a translation on their own account. That way, not only does it dissuade people who are only interested in plagiarism or benefiting off your hard work, it also means you keep full control of your story and its translations.
2 - Do your best to vet the translation. You can try to find a beta reader who is fluent in that language who can read it and make sure it's a good translation, though you'll likely have to pay them, which is worth it to make sure the translation is accurate. Or you could copy chunks of the story into Google Translate, which isn't a great translation service, but at least you'll see right away if the person has added erotica or written anything that's drastically different.
3 - Do your best to vet the translator. Another thing you can do is try to vet the translator. Ask them if they've ever translated a story before, and if so, ask them for examples. Look at their account and see if they have posted other translations or have posted links to translations. Investigate the authors of the stories they translated and see if there are any complaints. Read through the comments of the original story and the translation (you may again have to use Google Translate if it's a language you're not familiar with... not perfect, but just fine for this application...) are similar. If a lot of comments on the translation mention elements that aren't mentioned in the source story comments, that's a potential red flag.
I hope that helps!
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reriart · 2 months ago
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Hi i saw your post about Percy headcannons and I was wondering if you could write about Percy together with an adhd reader and the readers meds make them lose their appetite and he helps them eat and just a generally fluffy headcannon?
Hiii! Thank you for asking :3 I have ADHD too, so I hope I somehow made the story more realistic. I hope you don't mind if I ended up writing a fanfic directly, I've been thinking about this comfort story for the entire day!
I'm safe with you.
Additional tags: reader has ADHD and they're using meds, stimming, food disorder, GN!Reader, not smut for once, love confession, very soft Percy. You can read it on AO3 too! Remember that English is not my native language (plus I've wrote it in the middle of the night). Divider: cafekitsune Summary: It has passed three days since the last time you've eat something. You fainted between Percival's arms, who is deadly worried for you.
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“I swear I can burp louder than you!” Grog shouted, swaying the overflowing beer mug dangerously, then drinking it all in one gulp and loudly belching in front of Scanlan's face. 
“Pff. You're a rookie. Take that!” the bard replied, echoing the gesture but intensifying the sound through his magic.
The vigorous man crossed his arms over his chest. “That's not fair! I can't win that way!”
On your end, you stood in a corner at the very end of the table, smiling shyly. Or rather, it wasn't so much a shy smile as a nervous one, which exuded discomfort. The medicine that Whitestone's doctor had prescribed for you (Percival had insisted that you go there) tasted terrible and the side effects were even worse: nausea, tremors, lack of appetite, dizziness. Except for that last one, so far you had checked all three off your daily list. You hadn't told anyone about it, to avoid worrying anyone (or even worse, that someone would force you to stay at the De Rolo castle, especially if that someone was your boyfriend). Yet, as soon as you looked up from the plate full of beans and steaming beef, two pale green eyes, circled by an elegant silver frame, were there, staring at you. Eyebrows bent downward, lips half-closed as if to say something. Percy was doing the dishes -- it was his turn (and, besides, he was practically the only one respecting it, besides you) -- but he was close enough to know that something was amiss. Although his attentions were always appreciated by you, whatever their nature, you just wanted to stay by yourself that night. 
However, the first (and only) attempt to sneak away was a fiasco. Two steps and your knees collapsed like a potato bag. Thankfully, keeping you from hitting your head, Percy was right there. He had thrown the plates in the air to catch you on the fly. You felt your mind getting foggy, your mouth heavy. 
“Hey,” he said, his eyes wide. “Are you okay?” “Mm-hm.” You didn't have the energy to think. Curling up in his arms suddenly seemed like the most reasonable choice. He smelled of jasmine and black powder. Around him, Grog, Scanlan and Vax also gathered.
“Maybe I'd better take you to the room. Hold on to me.”
“Do you need a hand?” asked the half-elf, frowning. 
“No, I thank you. I'll take care of it,” he replied, lifting you up and resting his arms behind his neck. Vax couldn't see it, but he was gently stroking your muscles with his thumbs. He loved to run his fingertips over your body, especially when he could get lost in making little circles. Somehow, he was giving comfort to both of you.
He carried you out of the huge dining room without saying anything else, holding you to his body. He was radiating a pleasant warmth, and you instinctively rubbed your face against his blouse on the way. Within minutes, you were in your bed, him sitting beside you, stroking your face.
“Hey,” he said smiling, stroking your cheek. “It's the medicine, isn't it? How long has it been since you've eaten?”
Three fingers up. You hadn't eaten for three days.
“Three days? Holy shit... you should have told me,” he remarked, running a gloved hand through his snow-white hair. 
“I didn't...want to worry you....” Guilt began to weigh down your heart, forcing you to bite your lips nervously and touch your fingertips to each other in a vain attempt to calm down, but it was only his hand under your chin that stopped the flow of obsessive thoughts. He forced you to look at him.
“It has to stop happening, okay? Talk to me. Let's communicate. You don't have to carry everything on your shoulders.”
Yeah. Percival was right. But it was so difficult even the act of thinking sometimes. Your head was perpetually bulging with thoughts, things to do, external stimuli, sounds, smells, textures. The missions, the places to explore and their dangers, the screaming, the blood, the metal, the fire. Medication had lessened all that, it was true. For a moment, sleep and daily life had become more bearable, but food had lost your attention. 
“I'm sorry.” You felt tears in the back of your eyes. The last thing you wanted was to make him angry. 
“You don't have to apologize to me,” he said softly, then stood up and reached for a pitcher and a glass of water. He filled it, handing it to you. “Let's start with the simple things. Drink a little.” 
Very quietly, the first sips went down your throat. Then, faster and faster. In a few moments you had swallowed all the water. Percival watched you from the edge of the bed, one hand on your leg distractedly playing with the fabric of your pants. 
“Good. Shall we try to eat something?”
Your stomach hadn't fully opened yet, but the idea of worrying your boyfriend made you feel worse. 
“W-What can I eat?”
“Let's see-I can get you a slice of cake, if Grog has left some. Gods, he eats like he's still about to grow!” she huffed, raising his hands to the sky and earning your laughter. His green eyes sparkled and he smiled back. “Wait for me.”
“E-even if I wanted to, I don't think I could move from here except as a worm. Crawling.”
He stood up, chuckling. “You're terrible,” he said, kissing your forehead and then pointing toward the door. “I'll be right back.”
You spent the next few minutes looking at your hands. How worn they were ... then, flashes of hands covered by leather gloves: protecting your fingers, squeezing them, medicating them. Not a moment had passed since you had met Percival De Rolo that those hands had been left to their fate. Since he had become your boyfriend, then, less so. The knuckles had been kissed, the hands held on your warm, milk-white chest. Loneliness was but a distant memory, but ... having someone taking care of you was far beyond your expectations. 
Your thoughts were interrupted by the squeaking of the wooden door and the rush of cold air against your skin. Percival was holding not one, but two slices of chocolate cake, rigorously arranged on finely decorated plates. He placed one of them on your thighs, held the other in his hand, then sat back down on the edge of the bed. 
“Can you sit closer?” 
“How much closer?” “Here. Let's eat together.”
Percy, being very careful not to let his dessert fly onto his jacket, settled down next to you at your pat on the mattress. You rested your head on his shoulder for a brief moment, and he rested his own on top of you. Your free hands sought each other, entwining. It was a quiet, long minute, except for your breaths in the cold room. Then, he broke the silence.
“I know it's hard -- but really, let me carry some of your struggles on my shoulders.”
“Percy...you just got a demon off your fucking back, why don't you leave them in peace?”
“Because I love you.”
You almost had a stroke. Yes, you were now a couple (in a very adolescent way, had been your response after an initial, very shy kiss and his question, “What are we?”), but you had never confessed to each other, you had limited yourselves to a few brief contacts of hands, arms and yes, occasionally lips. Things between you were complicated, mainly because neither of you had ever been in a steady relationship and everything was pretty new. 
And just as you opened your mouth to respond, a forkful of cake flew down your throat, followed by her laughter. 
“Percy! I was going to choke-”
A blow kiss sealed your lips. “Maybe I found a way to get you to eat more often.”
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nanonana39 · 4 months ago
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Language learning – Introductory tips for self taught beginners
Warning, this is a loooong read. Feel free to skip to the TL;DR at the end.
In this post, I will detail a few tips which have helped me (a self taught language hobbyist) with the beginning steps of learning languages such as English, Korean and Japanese. This is not a guide on how to achieve fluency quickly, it is meant to be an introduction to language learning. This is also based on my own experiences; feel free to disagree or correct me.
We will go over these points:
How do I start learning a language?
What should I use? Is an app better than online courses?
Do I learn grammar or vocabulary first?
How much should I study?
Should I practice immersion?
Where do I find resources/books?
I feel frustrated. / I am not learning anything. /This is too hard, maybe it's not for me.
How do I start learning a language?
This is the first thing you will ask yourself when you decide you want to start learning a language. Whether it is for work, for studying, traveling or just for fun, most people feel overwhelmed at the thought of how or where to start.
The truth is that there is no set path to start learning a language, but researching the language before studying can help relieve your worries over it and give you an idea of how to start. Keep in mind that languages which have different alphabets/writing systems (i.e. Japanese, Chinese, Arabic) take longer for a native Germanic/Romance language speaker (i.e. English, French) to learn and achieve fluency, and vice versa, so if you do not have a second language as of yet, consider choosing a Germanic/Romance language as a soft start. I'll detail a suggestion as to where to start in point 3.
What should I use? Is an app better than language courses?
The current language learning app ecosystem is a far cry from what it used to be (yes, I'm talking about Duolingo and Memrise), but they are still your main allies if you have a busy schedule and want to learn a language. However what I've found is that simply tapping away in an app and taking notes isn't enough – sometimes the apps don't explain certain grammar rules, or they're locked behind monthly paywalls. As such, you have to find the answers elsewhere.
Here are some things which will make your life and your studying much easier if you are self taught and on a budget: books on the language (for grammar, you can find PDFs online), language channels (for more thorough and practical explanations, YouTube is the main hub for it), and regular media in the language of your choosing (for vocabulary, it can range from music to series/movies). If you have a friend who speaks the language, or perhaps is learning it with you, that also works. In my opinion, learning is better when you have other people to share it with.
There are also websites such as japanesetest4you.com which compile words and their meanings, just like a dictionary. The one I've mentioned not only displays kanji and its meanings, but also shows its variants in Korean and Chinese. There are many others in this same vein for other languages.
Do I learn grammar or vocabulary first?
When learning a language, most courses and classes will focus on teaching you the grammar and the writing system, which while helpful, can sometimes feel like you are going nowhere, as you know how to build a sentence, but don't have words to form it with, or can't pronounce it correctly. This is a common problem among beginners (and sometimes even more experienced language learners), don't let it discourage you.
A personal example I like to use is: To say "the sky is blue", you have to first learn what the sky is, then learn the color blue, and then learn the structure to be able to say "the sky is blue". Vocabulary is just as important as learning the grammar rules in any language; don't limit yourself to only learning how to write. So the answer is: Build a small vocabulary, learn the grammar, and then apply it in practice. It doesn't have to be correct on the first try, we've all been there. Though people learn in different ways, so perhaps you might feel like the opposite works for you. That's also completely fine.
This is another point where engaging with the language's culture and media outside of classes comes to play. Even watching a TV program during your free time and writing down words is enough, since you're also practicing listening, which is also very important and looked over. Try incorporating pronunciation and listening into your studying routines.
How much should I study?
This is a point of much debate within language learning spaces because there is no answer for it. Some might learn a language in 3 months, others might learn it in 10 years, a few can learn it in 3 weeks. It depends on what language you've chosen and the time you are able to dedicate to the language.
The best tip I can give is: if you can dedicate even just 10-15 minutes of learning each day, you can achieve the results you desire. Of course, you should increase that amount if you're able to in the future, but it's already an effort.
Consider your schedule and refer back to the first point, as the time you'll take to achieve conversational/fluency levels can vary depending on the language you choose.
Should I practice immersion?
The common view of immersion is: "speak the language at every opportunity, only engage with media in that language, and write only in that language". This is what you'll see in some of those "I learned (language) in only 3 months" videos.
Let's be realistic though, no one can start speaking German at all times when they live in the US, or Spanish when they live in France, and you'll only feel more frustrated if you force yourself to watch k-dramas without subtitles and nothing else, expecting to absorb it through osmosis. And also, you only now started learning how to say "the sky is blue".
Immersion comes in many forms, though. If you listen to a song in the language you want to learn and read the lyrics while listening, that counts as immersion. If you write a few phrases describing your day in that language as a dynamic exercise, it also counts as immersion. Immersion is what says on the tin – immersing yourself in the language – but it shouldn't bring you unnecessary stress. Also, contrary to what some might say, I do recommend you use translators, if it helps you associate words with their meanings. Don't just rely on them, though, since Google Translate can be unreliable with certain translations and meanings.
Where do I find resources/books?
This requires digging around, but I recommend you check sites like as WebArchive and YouTube. If you can, buy the books online, or borrow some from your local library. I recommend looking for actual textbooks, mainly because some of them include tidbits about the culture itself, like Genki. If you're on a budget, Reddit has a few threads which recommend apps/books, but be very careful with downloading things from random Google Drives or other file hosting websites.
Tumblr is also a very good place for learning new vocabulary. I see some blogs dedicated to sharing kanji and grammar rules, and it can be good to follow such blogs to build your vocabulary.
I feel frustrated. / I'm not learning anything! / This is too hard, maybe this is not for me.
Rome wasn't built in one day, and you definitely won't learn a language in a month or two if you are someone who is in school or has a job with long working hours. YouTube has made language learning easy, but it also has given the illusion that if you follow X method or study an N number of hours, you'll achieve fluency. That is not the case. It fails to take into account the nature of the language, its grammar rules, the writing systems, and everything else.
You don't realize this, but you definitely didn't learn how to speak in just 3 months when you were a child. Everyone learns differently, some faster than others, some slower, some have more time to study, others don't. Some people have difficulty concentrating and don't know how to make learning more fun. All I can say is: don't give up. As long as you put in some effort, even if it seems insignificant to you, you can achieve your results.
Don't feel obligated to continue learning a language if it is bothering you, though. Remember you can always take a break and come back to it another time. Who knows, maybe even during that break, you'll still be learning new words, and feel more motivated to go back.
TL;DR: Language learning is something which is more accessible now than ever, but you might find yourself confused on where or even how to begin learning a language. The key tip for learning any language is to do research, gather resources, know your own limits and how much dedication, time and energy you can invest into learning, and most important of all, to have fun with it.
I hope this can help some beginners in their journey into language learning. Thank you for reading this far!
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monsterfuckertw · 2 years ago
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⚡Glamrock Freddy with a S/O who has ADHD⚡
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Hi, so we meet again(?
Surprisingly my first writing for Tumblr reached a lot of people, it wasn't a boom, but it's more people than I expected, so here we are, I'm going to drop a few headcanons that I have of Glamrock Freddy with a S/O who has ADHD, because long live the self-projection
Warning because idk, it's cool remember this: These are my headcanons, emphasis in MY headcanons, If you don't see these characters acting a certain way, that's cool, I'm not writing this to affect your vision of the character, I'm writing this to entertain
Oh and before i forget to mention, english isn't my native language, so if something isn't understood in the text, please let me know, thanks and i hope you like it<3
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🐻.– He knows what ADHD is, but he has a general notion of what it is, he doesn't really know how affects people or how to help you
🐻.– Poor bear, he would be so confused, but he would stay by your side, he really wants to help you (even if he doesn't know what to do)
🐻.– Freddy would start doing a lot of research for you, he wants you to feel comfortable and if he wants to achieve that, he must learn how to do it and have information that helps
🐻.–Freddy could STOP and CANCEL a performance, if he sees that the noise of the music is affecting you, he would take you to a calmer place and check that everything is okay, that your ears don't hurt and that you're not dazed
🐻.–Several times it happens that you tell him something interesting that happened to you, and he has to remind you what you were saying to continue the story; because there are many tangents you go off on before properly finishing the story. That doesn't really bother Freddy, but he wants to know how it ends and he can't know until you finish telling him, with tangents and everything
🐻.– It also happens a lot, that you two are talking quietly and you look everywhere and you have your gaze fixed on the other thing you saw, and you ask yourself a lot of questions, the color, the shape, where it was made, whatever, you start to ramble, Freddy notices this and calls you, you quickly turn your gaze towards him. You apologize instantly, cause now he will have to repeat what he was saying, but Freddy completely understands and doesn't get mad at you, he knows you're not doing it on purpose, it's something unconscious that you can't control
🐻.– Sometimes you two are walking next to a window and at one point Freddy stops to look to the side. And he realizes that you stayed enjoying the view, contemplating the sky, it almost gave him a heart attack to see you so beautiful, mesmerized by the night sky and a look of wonder on your face. You noticed that he was looking at you and you started beckoning him to join you, Freddy follows your orders and you two stay admiring the starry sky
🐻.– He is so patient with you, even if you forget important things he told you, you lose things, even if you are late for dates because you lose track of time, he would reassure you it was ok
🐻.– As a consequence, for the next time, he begins to leave you notes and reminders of things you had pending, tasks and more. And he also gives you reminders of things that you have slope as a couple, like dates
🐻.– Do you have any hyperfixation? He will be all ears, he loves to see you so excited when you talk about something that interests you, he would even look for information to talk to you about it
🐻.– Generally asks before he touches you
🐻.– Keeps objects with the textures you like in his room, so you can relax with him after a long day
🐻.–If you don't feel like doing anything but procrastinating, Freddy supports you, get ready because that night you won't do anything but receive bear hugs, kisses, caresses and compliments, You don't want to do anything? Well, he won't do anything too with you
🐻.– He worries that you eat well, every time he sees you he comes with a snack because he knows you forgot, he doesn't want you to have a disorganized meal schedule. The same with your sleeping schedule, drinking water, etc
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nekoannie-chan · 4 months ago
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Problematic training
Problematic training
Title: Problematic training.
Fandom: Marvel, Captain America.
Ship: Steve Rogers & Brock Rumlow.
Word count: 517 words.
Square: O5 “Train job.”
Rating: Teen.
Summary: Steve and Brock had a problem during training.
Major Tags: Arguing, thoughts of revenge.
Additional tags: This is my entry to @marvelrarepairbingo, @marvelrarepairs Marvel Rare Pair Round 3 2024. MRP-066.
Links: Wattpad, Ao3, Spanish version.
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@saiyanprincessswanie
My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistakes, please let me know and I will correct them.
I don’t give any kind of permission for my fics to be posted on other platforms or languages (I translate myself my work) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don't steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other people. The only exception is the ones I gifted 'cuz now belong to someone else. Please let me know if you find any of my works on a different platform and are not one of my accounts. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.
Add yourself to my taglist here.
My other media where I publish:  Ao3, Wattpad, ffnet, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter. 
If you like it, please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog.
Tags: @sinceimetyou @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad @navybrat817 @angrythingstarlight @shield-agent78 @charmed-asylum @pandaxnienke @real-fbi @Smokeandnailz @white-wolf1940 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @xoxonotme @bluemusickid @leyannrae @Harrysthiccthighss @Marvelatthisone @caplanbuckybarnes @sapphire-rogers @lizzieolseniskinda @notyourtypicalrose @hallecarey1 @nana1000night @talia-rumlow @writingshae @alexxavicry @azulatodoryuga @daemonslittlebitch @chaoticcollectivenightmare @endlesstwanted @chemtrails-club  @marigoldreamer @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @Here4thefanfics @theestorm @patzammit @kmc1989 @somegirlfromasgard @rogersbarber
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In the Triskelion gym, the sounds of pounding and dumbbells echoed in the air. Steve and Brock were there training.
Steve was going through his morning routine in a disciplined and structured manner.
Brock, on the other hand, preferred a more chaotic and brutal workout.
While Steve was continuing his workout, Brock was lifting dumbbells with a deafening noise, dropping the dumbbells to the floor after each repetition.
"You can't drop the dumbbells like that, Brock," Steve scolded him. "You could damage the equipment or, worse, hurt someone."
Brock let out a sarcastic laugh.
"Are you serious, Rogers? This is a gym, not a library. We come here to train hard, not worry about furniture."
Steve frowned, suspending his training.
"It's not just about the equipment. It's also about respect and discipline."
"Discipline, discipline," Brock repeated with disdain. "Always with your golden boy lecture. Some of us need to release our aggression to be fit for battle."
"Training isn't just about brute strength," Steve replied, stepping closer to Brock.
Brock dropped another weight hard, causing the floor to vibrate, challenging Steve.
"Maybe your way of training works for you, Rogers. But I train my way. And I'm not going to change it because you don't like it."
Overhearing the discussion, some of the agents in the gym stopped to watch them curiously. Natasha was also training on the spot; she quickly rushed over.
"Stop it, you two!" Natasha spat out authoritatively. "We are not here to fight each other. If you continue, I'll have to report you to Fury."
Steve took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "Natasha is right. We need to work as a team and avoid fighting each other."
Brock crossed his arms, looking at them defiantly. He hated having to follow Roger's orders; in fact, he felt displaced since Roger had arrived.
"I'm not going to compromise my training."
Natasha took a step forward. "No one is asking you to. But you could try to be a little more considerate. There's a time and place for everything."
After a moment of silence, Brock nodded slowly as Natasha had again threatened to report them, and that meant they would be spending a few weeks doing desk work instead of going on missions. Other than Steve, the other thing he hated was not being able to go on missions.
"Okay. I'll try not to drop the dumbbells." Brock said while rolling his eyes.
He would probably go train when that pair were gone. He shot a hateful look at the other agents, who looked like they were going to laugh and scoff at the situation. When the pair was gone, he would take it upon himself to punish those who belonged to his team to show who was in charge.
Steve approached to shake hands. Brock forced a smile and did so while also thinking of some way to get revenge. As he wasn't going to allow someone to make a fool of him, he simply had to wait until the time was right, and he would make Steve regret what he had done.
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rphunter · 1 month ago
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Hello everyone!
This time, I'm looking for someone to embark on exciting adventures in the universe of Persona 4. Specifically, I'm searching for someone to play Yosuke Hanamura ❤️ against my female OC. I'm a huge fan of double RP! I would be delighted to portray a character from the franchise, male or female, for you (Persona 3, 4, 5), or from another universe! We can discuss the plot together 🙂 We can follow the main storyline or create something original; I'm open to both! As long as there's ✨ romance ✨!
And now, because we need some ground rules, here are a few that are important to me:
I love writing. A lot. With plenty of detail. Of course, I can adapt to what you send and your style, but if you're only writing a few lines, it won't be enough for me.
I'm not strict about response frequency. I can reply every 2-3 days, sometimes even daily. However, there may also be times when I can only reply once a week. So, I'm really flexible.
I want communication! If something isn't working for you, if you don't have time or motivation, or if you need a break... please say so. I can't stand waiting in silence with no feedback—it feels disrespectful. I also don't want to chase after you for updates. If I don’t hear from you after a certain amount of time, I'll move on.
I love chatting OOC! I enjoy getting to know new people and exchanging ideas! I’m happy to talk about the RP, the games, or anything else. But if that’s not your thing, no worries, I can do without.
My native language is French. If by chance there are any French-speaking roleplayers, you're more than welcome! Otherwise, just know that I'm pretty good in English, and I’m open to your feedbacks!
Thanks for taking the time to read my message, and I look forward to hearing from you 🐢😘 If you're interested, react to this post, and I'll DM you!
PS: It's essential to know the universe and/or have played the games. If you haven't finished them, that's okay, but I need someone who has that basic knowledge!
.
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itsjaywalkers · 5 months ago
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Hello Laurie! How are you? How are your holidays going?
I'm the same person who messaged you 2/3 months ago about the fic that I was writing and being scared to post it because it's not my native language. I was wondering how your writing goes, like how do you edit? What do you struggle with the most? I know you said it's not your native language either, and I just wanted to know what slows you down the most? Because for me personally it's grammar, structure of the sentences and its punctionation. I always wonder if my commas are in the right place and if I used right marks, obviously the placement of it differs in every language. And do you have any tips for me? ANYWAYS i'm so sorry this is such a long question bahahhaha, also I've read your new Bartylily fic and I love it. I'm on my knees for them, can't wait to see what you got in store for them. Hihi have a good day! <3
hi darling!! i'm okay, doing some writing!! and my holiday is going great <3 i've been at the beach all week, swimming and reading and eating delicious food. i missed my parents and my sisters like crazy, so it's been very fun to get to spend so much time with them <333
oh, yes!! i remember you!! i hope that fic is going well, and that you'll decide to post it someday. i feel like i already told u this, but i'm sure it's lovely, and if deep down u wanna share it, u should be able to do so, fear be damned (im aware it's not that easy but . u get what i mean)
and my editing process is . very boring and very long . i usually just write the whole chapter out, exactly how i have it planned in my mind, without stopping to check for mistakes, or letting myself get distracted by . a paragraph or a line i don't like, all that can be fixed during the actual editing. once it's done, i try to give it a day?? to let it breathe a lil. and then i reread it all!! i go scene by scene, and sometimes it means just fixing the grammar of some sentences and deleting a random line here and there, and other times it means deleting a whole conversation, or rewriting an entire scene bc it's not working how it's supposed to. editing can take me from a couple of hours to actual days, so it's not a process i really enjoy </3 writing can be a pain, but it's when i get to be messier and have fun and not worry about the end result. editing means polishing and rereading until you grow sick of the story. it's necessary but it's not my fav part of the process, that's for sure
i don't think i'm that bothered by grammar, but it's mostly bc this is just fanfiction and i kinda just . have fun with the language?? sometimes i'm aware i'm not structuring a sentence the Proper way but it looks more beautiful my way, and it sounds nicer, so why would i change it?? not a single one of my uni profs is gonna be reading it anyway. but as someone who isn't an english native speaker either, i totally get u, bc i used to be very insecure about this, and i still am a bit sometimes. i had this fear that ppl were gonna be able to tell english isnt my first language at a first glance. but so what if they do?? theres nothing wrong with that, and bc im bilingual, i speak and write in english in a manner native speakers cant replicate, bc i see and understand their language differently. and i think thats lovely!!!
the thing i struggle the most with is descriptions?? i feel like im not detailed or accurate enough, and like i lack a lot of vocabulary. i do my best to fix it during editing but it never quite works i fear.. i also write ridiculously long sentences, bc i use way too many commas when i should be using periods. and i think that my dialogues are pretty good, but at the same time im always . concerned about characters sounding real enough yk?? since, again, english isn't my first language
and i don't know about tips darling. i keep saying this, but i feel like i'm not the best person to ask about this At All, bc i'm not that knowledgeable, or talented, or skillful. i can tell you to remember that at the end of the day this is fanfiction, and we're supposed to be having fun and being self-indulgent. try not to worry so much about grammar and proper sentence structure or putting commas in the right place. bend the language until it sounds pretty enough for you and a sentence rolls off the tongue the right way. who cares if it's not Correct or Proper. it's not meant to!!! also, don't edit right away, let the story or the chapter breathe for a bit, otherwise you're gonna hate the whole thing and believe it's a Mess. it's usually not!! you just need a break and to put some healthy distance so u can edit more honestly, less unbiased
don't apologise!! my answer was even longer SIGH i hope some of this was at least a little helpful <3 and thank u so much!! more ppl than i thought are reading and enjoying the bartylily fic, and it fills me with joy <3 next ch is coming VERY soon and i can't wait
wishing u the best and sending u all my love MWAH <333
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myguiltyartpleasure · 1 year ago
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15 people, 15 questions
Tagged by @fanfic-gremlin-ft-trauma, thanks!
1.) Are you named after anyone?
Nope. Tried to ask several times about possible reasons, but my parents said they just liked this name
2.) When was the last time you cried?
Not sure, but probably in previous couple of weeks. I couldn't sleep and stared overthinking and got too sad about it 😅
3.) Do you have kids?
Nah, not interested
4.) What sports do you play/have played?
I tried gymnastics during 1st grade. I liked it, but it was too cruel for me. Other than that I reeeeeeally don't like sports
5.) Do you use sarcasm?
Yep
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6.) What’s the first thing you notice about people?
Whole demeanor I guess, the kind of vibes person is giving. And their hairdo
7.) What’s your eye colour?
Blue and grey with little bit of green. I'm not sure how to describe it
8.) Scary movies or happy endings?
Happy endings mostly. There's too much awful stuff going on in real world to be devastated because of fictional stuff 😥
9.) Any talents?
I like to think I'm creative and resourceful person. Does it count as talent? I'm also good at hairdressing, know thing or two about haircutting and looove dying hair, specifically "unnatural" colors. I want to try holographic thing on someone's hair, but sadly, I don't have enough volunteers for my experiments. Usually it's my own hair, but I've settled on current one some years ago
10.) Where were you born?
In a hospital afaik
11.) What are your hobbies?
Gaming! Mostly on PS, some cozy gaming on PC. Love DIY stuff: drawing, cross stitching, sewing, crafting - depends on what I'm into at the moment. I wanted to try archery or boxing, but I think I'm too lazy for it 😄
12.) Do you have any pets?
One affectionate chonky cat 💙
13.) How tall are you?
5’2 or something. Haven't checked for quite some time
14.) Favourite subject in school?
Languages, English isn't my native one. I've tried to start learning German, but I'm not consistent with it. I was also good with math and stuff, but wasn't really a fan of it. I just liked the fact that it's quite easy for me
15.) Dream job?
Honestly? I just want to do different stuff I like without worrying about money. More like I'm dreaming to not have to have a job 😅
I don't have a lot of people to tag here, so I'll tag couple of mutuals @ultfreakme @tellme-astory @dualcordie
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adelarsims · 2 years ago
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Hello! I'm a little nervous writing you ☺️
Well, I'm from a country where we speak Spanish, so excuses me if I write weird (I'm really not very fluent so sorry if you can understand something 👉👈💨)
I discovered your beautiful Morgyn recently and I fell in love 🤯, They were mind-blowing and I cannot resist to search the person behind the art, so I found you 😊 (And discovered your Caleb and I just could die in peace when I see Morgyn and him in cuddling mode -my heart shake, trust me 🥵-)
Well, I have some questions 🙋 😅
1- Where can I read your story? I need it just like I need air to breath.
2- I'm always ask myself how other people sims are just so beautiful, I think it was a blender or something, but I saw videos with that ...grafic effect?...shadow?... that make sims so natural, like they were took it from a 3D movie and so, Can you tell me that it is a mod, a programming thing or so? And where can I find it?
3- ....Your Morgyn hair... 🙂😳🤌 If you know some CC creator who do curly hair that screams "blond sexy mage"... please recommend me 🙏 (and if you do you Morgyn Hair, I just tell you that it's the most gorgeous thing ever, and I really like to have something like that in my sims CAS some day 🥲)
That it... 😅 thank you and sorry for been a mess in english 🥴
thank you for a warm message. don't worry so much about your english, i'm not a native speaker myself, so i'm not the one to judge you. i mean, you're speaking a whole foreign language, isn't it cool?
okay, lemme answer you in order:
you can't read my story just yet, i'm currently writing it for only myself and playing it out, but i can't gather courage and energy to start taking screenshots for it (mostly because i'm a perfectionist and i want everything to look perfect from the very beginning, but screenshots are not my forte, and i'm not happy with my english). but i'll definitely start posting it at some point anyway because my yearning to share it grows and grows with each day :)
it's not a blender, it's called a reshade. basically, it's an effect overlay that starts with your game. if you look for reshade presets here on tumblr, you'll find a lot of them, some are very bright, or very smooth, or sad and almost desaturated, some have depth of field, some have an outline around objects and sims, etc. this particular shadow effect that you liked is MXAO. i used this tutorial when i installed reshade for the first time. people also use gshade lately, that's just another program but i think the same presets work in it just as well.
i don't usually do wcifs but i must clarify that this is not my hair. this particular hair is named "Leo" and is made by clumsyalien. Here are some "blond sexy mage" hairstyles that will suit Morgyn: 1 (Leo) 2 (Octavian) 3 (Everett) 4 (Eliott) 5 (Adriana) 6 and 7 (Rael and Nicolas, also look at Kea that is longer but also sexy mage) 8 and 9 (Morgyn and Phantasm) 10 (Heartstrings) 11 (Morgyn) 12 (Wave) 13 (Jazz riff). clumsyalien is basically your person when it comes to curly sexy mages.
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forlovewithyou · 1 year ago
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Hey, it's me again and I come with new questions ^^
1. What are doing the Ts characters? (I mean, what are their jobs?(Rex, Barbie, Slinky ...)
2. The same question but with the alien and pride parents.
3. Does Buzz know that Woody and Warp fought between them? What was his reaction?
(This isn't related to the history but I'm curious, when I asked the first time you said, "the translation might not be clear enought" so I supposed that English isn't your maternal language, and I ask now, what is your maternal language? (btw don't worry about the translator, we all know that it can be a big a-hole some times))
Q1.
The characters of TS live in a small town (I haven't figured out the name yet) where other than the pride siblings, slinky is one of the senior officers of the police department, rex is a very young officer, ham is an antique shop owner, and Barbie and Ken are out-of-towners who only come here as tourists.
Q2.
The pride siblings' parents were also police officers, but they were killed fighting drug cartels and criminals. But not locally. And if you ask the alien siblings, Warp's parents are busy with work, they are a poorer ethnic group, and life is not easy, so Warp gets less love and care more often.
Q3.
In fact, neither Woody nor Warp know each other's names, as Buzz has not told them for reasons of mutual protection, so Buzz does not know that they met.
Thanks for asking! Yes, my native language is not English, I am Chinese and use Chinese, this is written on my home page! 👍
and I changed a better translator!😋
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maznanangy · 1 year ago
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I don't know if you already have screenshots like this (and this is also the very first time I directly interact with anyone this way, but that's not important), but I read your blog from time to time, and when I saw these two sitting together, I just felt obligated to screenshot this and send it to you. So yeah, feel free to do whatever you want with these *drops these and runs away*. Also sorry for any possible mistakes, English is not my native language.
HOLDS THEM IN MY HANDS I LOVE THESE PIC SO MUCH<3<3<3
Thank you so much for sending them! I always find it funny to see people immediately think of me when they see them together HAHSJFJDJS, and don't worry English isn't my first language either:]
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ksen-noodles · 2 years ago
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Hi ksenya!! Decided i want to learn Russian, do you have any advice?
No idea! Its my native language and i grew up swimming in it. Only general learning advice! Also guesses on some of trouble you may run into.
General: Practice is everything. You must learn the basics, start trying out vocabulary, then look at the phrase dictionaries immediately and do your best to talk w native speakers. That way they can correct you and get a cool experience (we don't see many ppl learning the language bc of how hard and unpopular it is). Plus, watching movies in Russian with subtitles, or staring at Russian subtitles, bc those are more readily available, is ALSO practice. Especially the first one. You get to hear the correct pronunciation and all.
You can try finding Russian songs you like, on my side I suggest Машина времени and PIZZA for bands. Maybe even Сергей Заковряжный (singer)
Problems: Russian has some very specific pronunciation principles, but also. Learning to pronounce it is gonna be hard. It reads as it's written unless vowels xyz are unstressed then it reads the other way. Oh there's also the consonants d and g and zh they can become t and k and sh on a whim. Rolling Rs and ц (ts) and soft sounds. Don't get me started on ь ы ъ. One of them is a vowel that isn't transcribable in English. It's pretty much the sound that pops between two hard consonants when you chain them together, like in up-date. But long. And voiced. The other two are just signs. One makes consonants soft and fucks shit up. The other just fucks shit up. You don't read them
Don't get me started on word stresses. There's almost no system. Native speakers fuck it up all the time. There's dictionaries just for that.
Grammar, unlike the other two, is VERY strict. Unlike in English, you won't be left swimming but will find rules upon rules upon rules. Punctuation especially. The only thing that's hardly managed is word order, but still, the stress of the sentence depends on it. Usually the last word of simple sentences is most important/stressed. New info or clarification.
Its also very rich. You will have to learn. So much. We had to learn so much. So take it slow. It will take many years. We learn Russian for the whole of school and then after that even if the profession doesn't require it. The stuff that gets learned the longest is grammar, punctuation and word stress.
There are 7 cases btw. And that's not all. Also it's a very gendered language. We don't have articles tho. We also have 3-4 special ways of doing nouns. :] there's also 2 cases for verbs.
But also - don't worry. Russian grammarists have you safe and you should be able to find rules for all of it and how to differentiate everything
So for now. Dive into that vocabulary with duolingo or lingvaleo. Get some phrases into your brain. Stare at media. Go wild. Rules can wait a bit.
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