#also don't look too close at the clouds on both sides I know they're very different 😞😞 I was lowkey making it up as I went

[thatsitso]

Stained glass project I did in school

[pixie-felix]

a/n: this fic has nothing to do with food.

why yes I did make these GIFs especially for this fic thank you for noticing

Something to read while we're waiting for the results of the no thoughts/hard thoughts poll. If you want a soundtrack, Hey Daddy (Daddy's Home) by Usher fits pretty well (no daddy kink in the fic though).

word count: 1.4k

Smut under the cut, minors dni.

comfort eating.

You’d been staring at this damn code for so long you might’ve burned it into your eyeballs. Somewhere, in the distance, you’re vaguely aware of the apartment door opening and closing, and someone calling out that they're home.

But by now you’re so obsessed with trying to find whatever formatting fuck up you made, that even the metallic jingle of keys falling into the “let’s-not-lose-this-shit” bowl doesn’t bring you back into the real world.

It’s not until your laptop physically moves out of your hands that you realise. Chan is home.

Sitting on his heels in front of you, he gently picks the computer up off your lap, his expression a mixture of concern and understanding. One workaholic recognises another.

“Is everything backed up?” He too knows the pain of a well meaning friend trying to help by tidying up, and accidentally erasing hours of hard work.

“Cloud and hard drive. And external hard drive. Possibly tattooed on my retinas also." He nods and carefully sets it on the side table, snorting quietly when you get to the part about your eyeballs. The little crease between his brows remains though.

“You told me you were going to take today off…”

You'd only meant to do a few lines of code, just to check for errors and maybe add a function or two. And yet here you are, sitting in the exact same spot from this morning, neck and shoulders aching from being hunched over your laptop for…

7 hours.

Chan rests his chin on your knees, head tilted to the side as he looks up at you like a lost puppy.

“Baby…”

No. Wait. Puppies don't sound like that. Or look at you like that. Or rub soothing, promising circles with their thumbs on the bare skin of your calves.

You're suddenly very aware still in your pajamas. If you can call it that. Really it's just one of Chan's old t-shirts, the fabric worn soft, always smelling like him even though you slept in it- and not much else.

Yeah, Chan's definitely not giving you puppy eyes.

The wolf is here tonight.

And he wants to play. You can tell from the subtle smirk that quirks the corner of his mouth when you audibly swallow.

“How… how was work?”

“Long. Busy. Tiring.” He punctuates his sentences with slow kisses on your knees, the closed mouth kind that still manage to feel anything but chaste. “Jisung dyed his hair blue. Felix's is no longer blond. Hyunjin cut all his hair off. Someone said something about a kiwi fruit and now the stylists are all freaking out.”

His tone is light, almost absent minded, but his touch has progressed from soothing circles to something a little firmer, a little more… demanding. And as his hands slowly creep up your legs, you're fairly certain you know what he wants.

“Chan…”

��Yes, baby?” His lips stretch into something that could almost pass for an innocent smile, if it wasn't for the fact his fingers have worked their way up to the hem of his t-shirt, slowly teasing the fabric further up your legs.

“Wh-what are you doing?”

“Well…” his fingers sweep under the fabric, inching closer and closer to where arousal is bubbling in your belly, still carefully punctuating his words with kisses on your skin, “I figured, since we're both so... stressed…” his fingers finally brush against your panties and you shiver. “I could help you relax a little.”

“Wh-what a-about you?”

He’s tracing, teasing along the edges of your underwear, watching you bite your lip to keep your cool. He likes it when you try to stay quiet. It makes it so much more satisfying when you start crying his name like it's the only word you know.

And then the bastard licks up your thigh, tugging your panties down and saying the magic words:

“I thought I'd indulge in a little comfort eating.”

You didn't make it to the bedroom. You barely made it off the sofa. Instead, Chan just yanked you forward, laid back on the rug, and now you're riding his face in the middle of the living room. Making the kinds of noises you thought only existed in hardcore porn.

His arms are locked around your legs, holding you in place as he grinds you up and down on his tongue. Your hands are twisted into his hair, partly for balance, partly as an anchor… but mostly because when you tug on it Chan moans into your cunt and that feels so good.

He's already tongued you through one orgasm, licking you out like you are his favourite candy. He's so drunk on your pussy that he's murmuring the kind of filth that would usually make him blush -m’ baby tastes so GOOD, w’nna drown in thi’s pussy- though his words are almost completely obscured by the wet, sloppy sounds of him giving you the messiest head you've had in months.

It is amazing, and it's incredible, and Chan is clearly having the time of his life as another orgasm coils in your belly, ready to spring. But he's playing games with you now, teasing you with the gentlest flicks of his tongue, keeping that high juuuust out of reach.

Really, it's his fault that you can't help but yank his hair a little harder, grind down on his face harder, and then you're out of control, jerking your hips back and forth on his face until it hits.

And oh boy how it hits, gushing all over Chan's face, ripping all your dignity away as you buck your hips into his tongue, chasing the high rushing through you from your head to your toes.

You don't always squirt, but Chan loves it when you do.

His moans almost drown out yours, so loud he's practically shouting, definitely disturbing the neighbours with the string of enthusiastic cuss words and filth pouring off his tongue (that's right baby, cum on my face, fucking drown me in your cunt, jesus fucking christ-)

It takes you a minute to come back to yourself, Chan still desperately eating you out, working his tongue all over you like he's trying to lick you clean.

But the more he uses his tongue the wetter you get, the more your hips shake, and the closer you are to another orgasm.

One you're not sure you can handle.

You try to lift up a little, give him space to breathe, and your man straight up growls at you, yanking you back down on his face and sucking on you harsh enough to make you yelp. Reminding you who is in charge, he grazes your clit with just the gentlest scrape of his teeth...

And that orgasm you weren't ready for? Hits you like a railway train. You're aching and overstimulated and absolutely powerless to do anything other than thrash around and cry as Chan keeps sucking on your goddamned clit like the devil himself couldn't stop him.

You might've blacked out for a second. Or three.

It's only when you finally come to a gasping, shuddering stop that Chan finally gives you the two gentle taps on your ass that mean you can get off his face now (safewords aren't really an option when your mouth is full).

Except you're so worn out from relentless overstimulation that it's less of a dismount and more just you collapsing in a graceless heap, legs shaking and thighs aching from being held apart for so long.

Boneless and pliant, it's no effort at all for Chan to scoop you up into his arms and carry you princess style to your shared bedroom. You're barely awake as he tucks you into bed and crawls in beside you, nuzzling your hair as you curl up into his chest.

You've almost asleep when a Very Important Thought occurs

“Channie…”

“Yeah baby?”

“You didn't get to cum. Don't you need to cum? Y’wanna blowjob or sumthin’?”

Chan huffs a quiet laugh into your hair. You're so cute when your words are all sleep slurred.

“I already got what I wanted.”

You’re mumbling something about not playin' fair and don't w’nna be selfish, but you're practically unconscious anyway so he just kisses the top of your head and pulls you closer into his chest.

“You can make it up to me in the morning, if it bothers you so much.”

*It turns out that you will in fact, not be making it up to Chan in the morning. Because when he finds all the carpet burn on your knees, he has a minor breakdown and refuses to let you do anything all day.

Urgh, I feel like this is way, way too short, too rushed, and just generally had the potential to be so much better 😂😭 But I wanted to get it it out of my drafts before it gets lost in the poll fics. I wrote this on my phone, so it's probably riddled with spelling and formatting errors 😂 please forgive me. It's hard to write when the house is full and privacy is limited. Just 3 more days until the No Thoughts/Hard Thoughts closes 👀 thank you to everyone that's voted or shown interest, I hope my writing doesn't let you down.

p.s. I was gonna start this fic with the following GIF but not everyone wants a giggle with their word🍤 so that wouldn't have been very cash money of me.

m.list

hard thoughts poll

tagslist is open

[ineffectualdemon]

(AO3 link)

Shang Qinghua arrived back to Cang Qiong and headed to report to the Sect Leader only to find himself pulled into an impromptu meeting with his fellow Peak Lords.

With a noticeable absence and more notably addition. 

"Zhangmen-shixiong, may this one inquire as to what is happening?" He asked nervously as he the yelling from his fellow peak lords explained nothing and Luo Binghe stood still with his arms crossed, his jaw clenched tight, but silent.

"Lord Luo seems to think we have hidden Shen-shixiong away," Yue Qingyuan replied with confusion clouding his eyes.

"Which is nonsense! Qingqiu is sitting in the next room plain as day!" Liu Qingge shouted, one hand on the hilt of his sword the other pointing to a side room.

"And as this Lord has explained that thing is not Shizun." Luo Binghe replied with the slow carefulness that precedes great violence.

"We all here have seen and spoken to Shen-shixiong daily while Lord Luo was dealing with demon matters this past week. We have seen nothing amiss. Maybe he just tires of your company." Qi Qingqi really liked digging the knife in which was a huge mistake.

Shang Qinghua watched Luo Binghe's hand clench his fist tighter as his demon mark grew in brilliance.

"Alright thats enough! I can confidently prove whether or not Shen Qingqiu has been replaced!" He said loudly, his casual tone cutting through the noise and tension better then the volume.

Before he could think better of it Shang Qinghua walked briskly over to the side room and walked inside, shutting the door behind him.

Hardly any time at all passed before he was back in the room, the door closed firmly shut behind him and sealing and silencing talismans stuck to the outside.

"Shen Qingqiu has been replaced." He stated firmly. The room went eerily quiet and Luo Binghe, thought not smiling, relaxed as his posture took on an amused lilt.

"How can Shang-Shixiong be so sure?" Someone spluttered.

"He said I was his closest friend." Shang Qinghua said grimly.

"...but you are?" Liu Qingge said, his eyebrows tight as if he was puzzling over paperwork.

And he was right. Everyone knew Shang Qinghua was Shen Qingqiu's closest friend and confidant. Something that pissed off and confused everyone close to Shen Qingqiu to some degree. 

Shang Qinghua huffed.

"Of course I am! I know that! You know that! Everyone knows that! Even Shen Qingqiu knows that! But would he ever say it?"

That got everyone to pause.

No.

No he wouldn't.

Potentially not even on pain of death.

"Then what is it and where is Shizun?" Luo Binghe demanded, pushing past Liu Qingge who just mad a disgruntled sound.

"This one's guess? It's a Cuckoo Spirit. They're a type of dream demon. They hunt by reading the inner thoughts of their victim and replicating their mannerisms and behaviours as closely as they can based on dreams and so on. They then keep their victim asleep and assume their life. Feeding off both them and the people around them. This one guesses Qian Cao has had a lot of people on Qing Jing come down with fevers or are strangely lethargic recently." Shang Qinghua turned his attention away from Luo Binghe at this last and directed it as Mu Qingfang who looked troubled. 

"For the last three days. And four days ago Shen-shixiong complained of feeling tired when we had tea, but his meridians seemed clear. The imposter also stood up to scrutiny when this one examined him." Mu Qingfang explained.

Shang Qinghua nodded.

"Did Mu-shidi feel ill after the exam at all?" Shang Qinghua asked, even as he pushed past the sect leader and the demon emperor to pull out paper and ink and start scribbling quickly. 

"...yes actually, a headache." Mu Qingfang quickly crossed to join Shang Qinghu, tension tight in his frame.

"It used it's abilities to change your memory and perception." Shang Qinghua looked to his upset Shidi and gave him a friendly clap on the shoulder. 

"Don't be too upset with yourself Shidi! They are very dangerous creatures and extremely rare. The most important thing is Shen-shixiong is still alive. They can only maintain form if they still have a living connection." Shang Qinghua turned to look at Luo Binghe who had joined him on his other side.

"Meng Mo agrees and is impressed with your knowledge, he wouldn't have guessed or caught a Cuckoo. He thought his clan had wiped them out. He actually seemed afraid of them." Luo Binghe was still tense but knowing his Shizun was still alive was keeping him together. But it wasn't a surprised that the dream demon feared the creature. They had a terrifying ability, to make dream illusions work in the waking world. 

Their original feeding grounds were the dream demon clans, because who was easier to fool then those who were always half in a dream? 

In PIDW he had meant their inclusion to be a real horror movie moment but also a chance for character growth as Luo Binghe was forced to contend with something that shattered his confidence in his dream magic and made him face reality. 

In practice it was used to make a recent wife who was married "for political reasons" admit she actually did love her husband and wanted his pillar. 

Maybe Bingmei didn't need to know that. 

"If it hadn't flubbed so bad I wouldn't have caught it." Shang Qinghua admitted to distract himself before picking up his papers and turning around.

"Right. First off we must find Shen Qingqiu. Junshang? You search for disturbances in the dream realm. Something that feels off. But do not attempt to interact with it yet! Just use that to help us locate Shen Qingqiu. Liu Qingge? Mu-shidi? I need you to get these ingredients and turn it into an incense. Everyone else search every cave and grotto and outbuilding on this mountain to find Shen Qingqiu. If you find him do not touch him! We must break the bond first and we have to do that quickly before it realises we know. Right now this one has told it that Luo Binghe is unstable and we need to confine "Shen Qingqiu" for his own protection. It objected like Shen-shixiong would but not strong enough." Shang Qinghua was a little surprised they just let him take charge like that but Yue Qingyuan nodded.

"That Shang-shidi left the room on his own two feet after suggesting such a thing and Shen-shidi didn't break down the door and take Lord Luo and leave is even more proof than it calling Shang Qinghua its closest friend." Yue Qingyuan kindly pointed out for Luo Binghe's benefit, who was looking a little murderous. 

After that things moved swiftly. Shen Qingqiu was found in an old storage room on Qing Jing with help from Luo Binghe. One plastered with talismans to block the Emperor from tracking his blood.

Once the sleeping Shen Qingqiu breathed in enough of the cure to break the demon's hold dispatched the thing quickly, while the smoke from the same incense kept it from using its normal tricks to escape.

Shen Qingqiu once awake and finally devoid of a crying Demon Lord, due to said Demon Lord baking something, asked to speak to Shang Qinghua.

"Binghe said you convinced everyone but didn't say how." Shen Qingqiu, looking pale but mostly alright, asked.

"I walked in and asked if it knew who I was and 'you' rolled your eyes and said: 'um my best friend? Who else would you be you dumb hack author!' and I immediately knew because you'd never admit that." 

Somehow Shen Qingqiu looked more ill that before Shang Qinghua explained.

"Ew? Why would it so that? Bro no offense but I would rather kick in you in a well of dead fish then say we're friends." 

A different man would be offended but Shang Qinghua just chuckled. That's his tsundere Cucumber Bro! 

"I know bro "

Shen Qingqiu shifted in his seat at that, like what he said left a sour taste in his mouth and sand in his shorts.

"You're not..." Shen Qingqiu started before hiding behind his fan, "You're not not my best friend though." 

Shang Qinghua blinked at him before tearing up.

"Bro!'

"NOPE! I NEVER SAID ANYTHING!"

"You love bro!"

"I HATE YOU!" 

Shang Qinghua smiled as Shen Qingqiu loudly protested their friendship while also nudging his favourite treats towards him.

Ah, friendship was sweet when it was with your number one anti fan! 

[fishnapple]

FUTURE SPOUSE : WHAT YOU LOVE ABOUT THEM

(can also apply to long-term committed partner)

This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.

Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐

About me | Masterpost

Book a reading with me - KO-FI (→ personal reading)

1. Carnelian

The Carnelian stone, which represents this group, looks like a heart with The Moon stone right above it, open, its dark side is exposed, making the impression of a heart broadcasting something. I can see that this person has an open heart. They put their vulnerability on an open platter for you to see. They had been hurt in the past, their heart is full of scars, but they don't hide it. It takes great bravery to do that, and you will love them for it.

They know how to move on from past hurt, from pains, especially in relationships. They didn't become pessimistic because of it. They have learnt the lessons and are ready to do better in the future. You won't see bitterness in them, they're probably the kind that don't talk bad about their ex, even if that ex had hurt them badly. This trait will also be clearly felt when you two have arguments or in conflicts. They may be angry, you may shout at each other, but they will cool down and think rationally about the problem and ready to solve it together with you, no passive-aggressive actions. After that, they won't bring it up again in the future just to make you feel bad.

Part of the reason why they can bravely face the conflict and move on is because they can detach their mind from the conflict, able to see it from many viewpoints. They are fully aware of their emotions, but they don't let them run amok and cloud their mind. They give equal respect to both emotion and rationality. At times, they can even appear a little cold or detached, too logical, but you will still admire that about them or even find it attractive.

They could have a very unique beauty or what is considered classic beauty but put a creative spin to it. The kind that stands out, or at least in your eyes, you will always be able to find them in a crowd. Not exactly because it's so exceptional but because it shows individuality.

I don't think they are a conventional person, something about them is going against the grain of society. They are a free thinker, the way they think and speak is unique and beautiful. It's full of wisdom and maturity. You can learn a lot from them. Their advice is kind and considerate and you will feel their love through it.

Above all, you love their compassion for life. They are a humble person, despite their talents and wisdom, they don't go around lecturing and ordering people. They understand that everyone has their own problems and fears, so even in conflict, they won't go out of their way to demolish the other person. They have the mindset of 'Live and let live'.

Being with them will make you feel peaceful, understood, and free. At times, it will feel like a gentle breeze blowing through your hair in the middle of a field, at other times, it will feel like sinking yourself into the tub, warm water washing away all of your fatigue.

2. Tiger's eye

I get a feel that this person spoils you a lot. They would try to fulfil your every wish, as long as it's in their ability. It could be buying you gifts, cooking your favourite dishes, helping around the house etc. They just know how to make you feel safe and satisfied.

They are generous and dependable. A part of them is very adventurous while another part of them is more traditional and liking structure. This traditional part is likely shown only in close relationships. You can feel that they treat you more specially, more preciously, they put serious intention into the relationship with you.

They could be a little clingy? wanting to be with you at every moment, somehow the old song 'I don't want to miss a thing' by Aerosmith comes to mind. You may complain about it sometimes but I think secretly, you do enjoy that kind of behaviour. It shows loyalty.

They would like to take the more dominant role in the relationship, wanting to lead and plan ahead for both of you. If you are someone more on the passive side, this will make you more at ease. Beware of the tendency for 'laziness' and 'dependency' though, since they take on the more active role and like to do things more.

The way they talk, it's smooth and has a sway to it. They could give you lots of compliments, not the shallow, generic kind but the kind that unique only to you, makes you feel that they pay attention to every small detail about you. They sure know how to flatter your ego a bit and make you feel more confident in yourself.

Whatever darkness is hiding in your closet, they will pull it out for you, gently, persuasively, do a spring cleaning and give you a better perspective on those issues. You may feel resistant at first, but gradually, with time, you will come to appreciate their doing this for you. They could buy you a house but they'd rather help you build your own house.

Another thing you love about them is their passion, it's spontaneous and out of the blue, like electricity. Things are planned in such an unplanned way that you will be surprised every time. Being with them will feel safe but never boring.

You guys may also communicate a lot through dreams or other psychic means. The connection has a strong spiritual side to it. You and them both intuitively know what the other person is thinking without many words spoken. It's a silent understanding, a link between two spirits.

3. Aventurine

I get a sense of candidness from this person. They have a style of expression that is both soft, childlike yet wise and mature at the same time.

They have a dry or wacky sense of humour that you love. It touches other's insecurities in such an odd way that make others feel at ease and safe with them. For example, you guys have to go somewhere dark but you have a fear of the darkness, instead of making fun of you for it, they will act all scared and jumpy and insist on holding your hand to calm them down, even if they don't actually scare of the dark. They can make fun of themselves and bring themselves down a bit to elevate the other person. You would have your fears gradually banished by being with them. They help you to be more courageous.

Even though they act like that, they don't seem to be someone that people can mess with. Maybe they have a very intimidating air about them. The way they deliver the jokes could be very deadpan. But it will make you laugh and make you feel protected.

This person doesn't have a big ego. They're self confident, as in being sure of themselves and that's for them is enough, they don't feel the need to go around imposing their will on other people, advertising their brilliance to get praise. In fact, this person is very down-to-earth, praise actually come naturally to them. Because of their sureness in themselves, they know where they stand in a relationship, what they want from a relationship, where the relationship is going, so they are decisive. They will tell you straightforwardly how they feel and what they want for the relationship. If there's a problem in the relationship, they will address it clearly to you and expect both of you to solve it together. You will love them for their honesty and their way of approaching everything.

They could be the best hugger. You love being hugged by them. Something feels soft and warm, yet sturdy. They may not be a big person but their energy is big. Even if their physique is smaller than you, hugging them will feel like hugging a big tree or a big teddy bear.

They are also very giving. They will share their time, their resources with you without second thought, or for some hidden motives. There could be a boundary issue though, you may sometimes feel that you guys have fused with each other, the boundary of what is yours, and what is theirs will be blurred. Maybe you're someone who likes to be one with your partner, then you could find this to be of no issue.

4. Clear quartz

This person seems like someone who is very good with words. They could be in the publishing, writing, or journalism. Or singing.

They are like a magician, there's magic in their work. They have an expansive inner world. When you get closer to them and take a peek inside their world, you will see its marvels, like a large reservoir, an inner creative power generator. They can translate that power into their works, works that can move many people. It comes with rigorous hard work, though. They are dedicated to whatever they're doing. They want perfection, mastery over it, whatever hard work is needed, they don't mind putting all in. That attitude is what makes dreams come true. And I think you can't help but fall in love with that.

They could seduce you with just words or their voice. The way they talk or sing can speak deep into your soul, pull out your hidden feeling. They could have a healing effect on you that you love. It makes you feel like being cocooned in a velvet blanket.

This person has a sensitive and intense soul. They don't love lightly. Once they are committed to someone, they will be there with that person through thick and thin, always preparing to face the storm together. You will love being loved by them. It's not a common experience. Love is not a common experience, of course. But being in love with them will have a depth that is hard to find with other people. They could make your past relationships feel pale in comparison. This person could show their love for you through physical touch and intimacy. It's when their love will find its rawest expression.

You will love them for for being a humanitarian. They care about the world, society, and people. What they're doing is not just a form of self-expression but also directed towards a bigger goal. They want to contribute to the greater good, to make changes and make people's life better. It may sound like some kind of lofty ideals, but actually they do believe in it. And their faith will be their power. You have fallen in love with a magician, so expect magic and miracles coming out of their hat.

[jamiefartt]

run the world; part two.

masterlist, part 1.

pairings: Jamie Tartt x reader, a bit of Sam Obisanya x reader.

summary: as the striker for AFC Richmond's very first women's team, the pressure is on. you're desperate to bond with the men's team, especially their number 9. so when your captains make you two train together, you find special ways to make it fun for both of you.

words: 10.5k

warnings: nausea mentioned, no smut but sexual references, a looootta dialogue (sorry but I love it), mean Jamie and also mean reader oooh

———

the feeling of Jamie's fingers planted firmly between yours makes your skin red hot, and your arms suddenly stop shaking on your last push-up. with your ears ringing, you know your face is bright red as you forget to breathe for the last strain. Roy counts the last number, and Jamie's hand immediately pulls away from yours as he sits back on his knees. you fold through your elbows, collapsing flat onto the ground, your flushed chest cooling against the cold grass. fighting the urge to glance over at Jamie, you screw your eyes shut, taking deep breaths as you recover from the strenuous push-ups. twenty push-ups is easy, but with the slow speed Roy was counting at, you feel as if you did double that amount. your right hand clenches into a fist, the lingering feeling of Jamie's fingers touching yours making your nerve endings feel like static. why did he do that? it must have been on purpose, him having to outstretch his arm uncomfortably in order to reach you. but why?

"well done. take a quick water break," Roy says as he walks away from the two of you. you don't hear Jamie move to get up, but you can't keep your eyes closed forever, so you push yourself up and onto your knees. his legs are sprawled out in front of you, mud and grass coating his metal studs, and his arms hold his torso up as they're outstretched behind him. trying to avoid his gaze, you keep your eyes down as you reach up to tighten your ponytail. still, you can feel his eyes burning into your skin, and you know he's going to say something.

"ooh, y/n," Jamie starts.

"knew it," you mutter to yourself, squeezing one eye shut as you look up at him.

"I think you've had a bit of an accident." Jamie hisses through his teeth as he points at his own cheek. you quickly reach a hand to your face, wiping your cheek before looking at your fingers. you roll your eyes at him and grunt when you notice it's just some dirt, the irrational thought of it being dog shit leaving your mind just as quickly as it came. "you're the worst," you groan, standing up before jogging towards the dugout, heading straight for the walkway into the training centre. pushing open the door to the women's bathroom, you sigh deeply, wondering what the fuck just happened between you and Jamie. running the tap until the water heats up, you pull a paper towel from its dispenser before soaking it. as you bring it up to your cheek to wipe off the mud, you stare at the hand Jamie touched. it felt like electricity, like pins and needles, and like hot fire running through your veins all at the same time. maybe it was because you had been holding your weight for way too long, or maybe it was simply touch deprivation.

"y/n!" Gia bursts into the bathroom, making you jump and drop the wet paper in the sink with a slapping sound.

"fucking hell, Gia!" you shout at her, placing your hands on each side of the porcelain sink to stabilise yourself.

"how's it going?" she drags out her words, turning to the mirror to redo her hair. she smiles at you and raises her eyebrows suggestively, but when she sees your defeated expression, her face drops and concern clouds her eyes. she nudges you with her knee, her hands occupied as she twists her long hair into a bun, "what's up? did he say something?"

once again, you sigh deeply, too shy to look her in the eye as you think about how to word your thoughts; "no, no, nothing too crazy. he did talk about tying his dick to my tits, though. I have no idea what that was about-"

"oh," Gia laughs, "that was something Roy made them do in training one time! they, like, tied a red string to their dick and then connected it with another guy's dick and tried to play football. it was... kinda hot."

"okay, anyways," you grimace at the thought, disgusted with your best friend, and shake the image out of your head. you continue: "we were doing shooting drills and we made it a bit of a competition and it was actually quite fun, you know?"

"yes! holy shit! I did it! I need to tell Isaac," Gia yells, turning to leave the bathroom. you reach a hand out, grabbing hers to pull her back to face you. "Gia!" you yell, snapping her out of her blind excitement. "oh, right, sorry. continue," she clears her throat and sniffs, trying her best to act casual.

"it was a lot of fun until- basically, if we missed goal post we had to do push-ups together, right? so, Jamie missed and was such a fucking baby about it, and we were facing each other while we did them..."

"go on," Gia's eyes are wide, a smile growing on her lips as she stares at you.

"Jamie caught me checking out his arms- which you can't blame me for!" you say quickly, knowing Gia was about to interrupt you again, "and then when we were doing the last push-up he put his fingers between mine like this, see?" you demonstrate by interlocking your fingers, turning them to get the perspective right. "or, like, here," you pick up her hand, moving your fingers between hers to show her properly. Gia is completely silent, and you wonder if she just hasn't understood your explanation, but when your eyes flick up to hers, her face is frozen in shock. you roll your eyes and drop her hand, clapping in front of her face. her jaw is slack, and she doesn't blink at all until you poke her chest, dragging her back to earth.

"Gia, chill, it might have been an accident." you say, grabbing a new paper towel to dry the remaining water droplets off your cheek.

"an accident? are you fucking serious?"

"he was probably just trying to throw me off or something..." you reason, walking backwards to throw the tissues into the bin.

"y/n... really? he wanted contact with you- physical contact, and that isn't an easy mistake. this is great!"

"no! nothing about this is great! he's a dick, he was definitely just fucking with me. he saw me staring at his muscles, so what? Jamie's got such an ego, I bet he loved the attention."

"yeah he did..." Gia drawls, putting her hands on your shoulders and shaking you side to side. she cackles in your face, and the contagious sound forces a smile through your grumpy exterior. "there you go!" she chirps, "and even if he is just messing with you, just do it back! he's Jamie Tartt, it's okay to think he's fit-"

"I don't-" you protest, but Gia interrupts you again; "shut up. he could get any girl he wants, but I guarantee we can get him to chase you."

you scoff and huff a laugh at her words; "why would I want that?"

"because it's fun."

back on the pitch, you push away your nerves as you head back to Jamie and Roy. you continue your drills, taking shots from different angles to the goal, and you even kick it against Jamie on purpose during one of your turns. this time, when Roy makes you do push ups, you stay a safe distance away from him, keeping to yourself. if this was any other day, you'd find the repetitive drills boring, but you can't deny you're having a lot of fun with Jamie. of course, your constant competition is the main source of that fun, and with every mean or teasing jab you throw at each other, you find yourself enjoying the outlet. football always riles you up, anger and frustration taking over when you miss a goal or pass, but oddly enough, having someone to be unapologetically mean to helps. every time one of you hit the post, you call each other a rude name, or insult each other's skills, and you always count yourself successful when your words bring a small smile to Roy's face.

a whistle blows at the other side of the pitch, pulling you and Jamie out of a childish argument about how to best tie the laces of your boots. you pause mid-sentence, a finger still poking his chest from your back-and-forth bickering. he chuckles, bringing his hand up and wrapping it around yours before pushing it down; "that means I win." you glance down at your hands, his fingers still lightly holding on to you, before looking back up at his face. clenching your jaw, you huff a breath through your nose and pull your hand from his; "this isn't over, Tartt."

jogging away from him, you meet the rest of the team at the side of the field, everyone grouped together to listen to Isaac and Gia again. you find Sam, standing next to him; "hey Sam," you sigh, grateful to have a break from Jamie for some positive energy from Sam.

"hi, y/n, how was that?" he asks you, eyebrows arched as he awaits your answer.

"oh, you know... fucking awful." Sam laughs at your words, and you smile up at him as you shake your head.

"don't pretend it was all bad, y/n. you enjoyed checking me out didn't you?" Jamie's voice appears behind you, and you suck in your lips and close your eyes at the sound. dropping your head forward in defeat, you're scared to open your eyes and see Sam's face, so you whip around to look at Jamie instead. clearly, he caught up with you, and clearly, he has no desire to leave you alone before the next activity.

you cock your head to the side, squinting at Jamie with a challenging look in your eyes; "you wish I was checking you out, Jamie."

he pouts and throws his eyes to the sky, pretending to be deep in thought for a few seconds. he hums to himself as he crosses his arms; "I don't know..." you hold your breath as you await his next words, "you seemed to be doing it at Sam's restaurant too, and uhm, when else did- oh yeah, earlier before we even started training! you're a thirsty one,"

your hand comes up to your hair as you nervously fix your already-perfect ponytail, thinking of what to say to that. he isn't lying, but you also didn't think he'd noticed your particular admiration with his biceps. "yeah, yeah, as if," you mutter, hoping your tone seemed stern enough to get Jamie off your back. you turn back to Sam, looking up at him with a grimace, widening your eyes and shaking your head at him; "what an ego, right?" Sam squints at you skeptically, pouting his lips and nodding along, but you can easily tell he believes Jamie more than you.

"whistle!" Roy's loud voice interrupts your awkward silence, and you face forward and blow out a breath. the thick air is heavy between the three of you, and you can feel both of your shoulders brushing their arms ever so slightly, finally noticing just how close they are to you. you make no effort to move away, however, enjoying the warmth their presence gives you as the cold breeze hits your bare legs. cheeks flushing, you're kind of enjoying the buzz standing between them gives you; is this the chase that Gia was talking about? maybe this is the excitement you initially missed with Sam?

"we're about to play a full 90 minute game as if it was the real thing. we have a starting lineup, and a big list of subs, so-" Gia shouts.

"boys, I don't wanna see any fucking injuries before this weekend, so don't be big men about it and just sit out when you need, understood?" the guys all hum in agreement, some of them saying a simple "yes captain."

"if I call your name, that means you're starting eleven for the bibs, so just stand to the side a bit," Gia continues, motioning a hand to the left of the crowd, "then, I'm gonna call out the subs. whoever's left will be the starters for shirts. everyone got that?" you nod at her words, and the others do the same amongst a chorus of yesses. once she's finished calling out the list, you're in the starting lineup for shirts, Sam beside you. the team is made up of a mix of the two teams, and the smirk on your face as you watch Jamie slip on a bib is priceless. Gia and Isaac know what they're doing, and you can't say you're complaining.

"dream team?" Sam leans down beside you, whispering in your ear. you turn to face him, sending him a quick wink; "you know it."

you all get into position, you and Jamie standing face-to-face in the middle of the pitch. Roy stands beside you two, holding the football under his arm. no captains have been assigned, so it's up to you and Jamie to flip the coin. you stare into his dark eyes, his pupils blown wide, reminding you of the way he looked at you as you were doing push-ups. lips parting slightly, your heart rate speeds up as you struggle keeping your eyes on his; his gaze is intense, completely unwavering as he looks at you. his smirk is subtle, but present, and you let your eyes flick to his lips for a split second. of course, Jamie notices the slight movement, raising his eyebrows ever so slightly.

"heads." you say abruptly, pulling yourself from your staring competition with him. he sucks in a breath as he finally tears his eyes off yours to look at Roy, realising there's no opportunity for him to tease you any further. Jamie watches the coin as Roy tosses it in the air, but your eyes stay on his face, taking your chance to stare at him without being called out for it. dragging your eyes over his sharp features, you admire how smooth his skin is, wondering why such an idiot deserves such good genetics. just as Roy shouts "tails!" your eyes land on Jamie's lips again, and it's too late to look away as he turns to face you again. he leans forward, bringing his face close to yours; "you can kiss 'em if you let me win."

his teasing words make your nostrils flare in frustration as you bring a hand up, pushing it to the middle of his chest. the slight blow makes him take a step backwards, and he laughs out loud at your strop as you move out of the way for him to kick off the match. jaw clenched, you keep your eyes on the ball as he places it down. his feet drag backwards in the grass three times before tucking his loose shorts into his skin-tight undershorts. your eyes linger on his thighs, the deep lines highlighting his muscles. with your eyes glued on his legs, you watch as he runs and shoots the ball to his defenders. you hang back as Jamie's team charges forward, watching as he sprints towards your goal. it all goes so quickly, he catches up with the ball, intercepting a pass between your team and pelting it into the goal all within the first five minutes of the game. "offside!" you shout, but the ref, who's really one of your coaches, counts it as a goal.

and so begins the game, with an instant goal by Jamie. he couldn't be cockier about it, running across the pitch with his arms outstretched, Dani jumping on his back to celebrate. clearly your irritation is obvious, Sam jogging over to you and placing a hand on your arm to keep you close as he whispers in your ear. your eyes find Jamie's across the pitch as he stares at the two of you, no longer celebrating with his team. his mouth is turned down in a grimace, and you stick your tongue out at him playfully. Sam explains a tactic to you, making sure you understand which play you're going to do. apparently, it's one the men do all the time, and that's exactly why they won't be expecting you to do it.

with the ball back in play, your team immediately snatches it from the bibs. making its way down the pitch, everyone is quick on their feet, and you run aimless circles trying to get in the way of the others. the ball is passed to Sam, and as he runs towards you, you start asking for the ball; "yeah, Sam, here! pass it!" defenders are on you instantly, all crowding around you as you run towards the goal. instead of passing it to you, however, Sam makes a sudden shoot for the goal, aiming for the corner of the net. his kick is sharp and fast, the ball flying through the air at a rapid pace before crashing straight into the goal. he sprints towards you with his arms open, and you run straight into them to hug him. your team runs up behind you, all crowding around you and jumping up and down as you all celebrate.

"our false nine!" Ted screams across the pitch, "yes, y/n! that's exactly how you do it!" he runs over to you and Sam, giving you both a fist bump. "hey, Jamie, take notes buddy." he says with a delighted smile before strolling back to the side of the pitch, hands deep in the pockets of his khakis. you widen your eyes at Jamie, holding your fingers in an L-shape and bringing it to your forehead, sticking out your tongue again for added effect. it seems he took it to heart, immediately huddling his team together to discuss plays. you and Sam do the same, but decide with your team to just have fun with it and play as well as you can.

with five minutes left before half-time, you're nearly ready to sub someone else in for your position, the exhaustion and cold suddenly hitting you deep in your bones. the game is red hot, everyone running on pure adrenaline. right before making your second goal of the game, you lose the ball to the opposition, but decide to use your last bit of energy to burst to the middle of the pitch, desperate to get that ball back. they pass it to Jamie, and you narrow your eyes as you chase him. technically, it's up to the others to get the ball off him, but as you watch the ball rolling at his feet, your rivalry trumps the way of the game. sprinting as hard as you possible can, the cold air pulls tears from your eyes as the wind hits you, and you can see your teammates following you in your peripheral; perfect. you push through three powerful strides until you're right on Jamie's heels. using all your force, you slide a foot in front of him, aiming more for his feet than the ball. you trip him up perfectly, and he comes crashing down as the ball rolls ahead of him. whilst you fall to the ground, you see one of your teammates get possession of the ball, immediately passing it back down the pitch.

after landing on the ground on your side, you push yourself up, leaning on your arm to see Jamie lying flat on his back in front of you. his legs are sprawled in front of him, hands coming up to his face and rubbing it in frustration. as he sits up, he smacks the ground, grunting loudly. you throw your head back and cackle as pure adrenaline flows through your veins. whilst catching your breath from your crazy sprint, you force yourself onto your feet, and you stumble over to Jamie with a tired huff, looking down at him with a smug smile. reaching a hand out for him to take, you hear loud cheers and screams erupt behind you, but you don't need to check to know your team scored.

"I win?" you ask Jamie, who squints up at you with one eye shut. he's taking his time to stare at you, so you raise your eyebrows at him in question, and with a deep sigh, he finally lifts up his hand, grabbing yours. you pull him up to his feet, smile smug.

"you win," he sighs, dropping your hand and brushing the grass off his clothes. his face is stone cold, eyes avoiding yours. you move your head to try to catch his gaze, but he quickly turns away from you, walking off the pitch. his shoulders are hunched with his head down, keeping his eyes on the ground as he walks.

"wait, sorry, what was that? I don't think I heard you right," you attempt to tease him, jogging behind him. he ignores you, so you reach a hand up to his shoulder trying to get his attention. Jamie turns to you abruptly, shrugging your hand from his shoulder before catching it with his hand before pulling you into his chest. your smile drops in surprise as a smirk appears on his face again, and your breath hitches in your throat as you crash against him. your legs are too tired to hold you up, so he quickly wraps a hand around your waist, holding you close to him. completely taken aback, you don't have it in you to push him away, instead looking up at him with wide, stunned eyes.

Jamie leans down, placing his mouth right beside your ear. his breath fanning your skin makes goosebumps appear, and you struggle to keep breathing at the feeling. "you win, y/n." his voice is sultry and low, and your hand being held against his chest lets you feel the vibrations rumble through him. your knees threaten to buckle, but you dig your studs into the grass beneath you as he lets go of your waist. you're speechless and breathless at the same time, and the feeling of his arm around you leaves your skin tingling. his hand lingers on the hand he's holding for just a beat too long, and you quickly pull it away from him, reaching your hands up to run them over your hair awkwardly. "okay. thank you, Jamie," you sputter before turning on your heel and walking off the pitch, hearing your blood pumping through your veins as your legs carry you straight towards Roy.

"just sub someone in for me, I need to- uhm... take a shit?" you say unconvincingly, and Roy bites back a smile as he stares down at you. you stick to your guns, popping your hip with a hand on your side as you keep your eyes on his.

"and this shit... is it going to take you until the end of the second half?" he asks you, voice pitching as he holds back his laughter.

"yes, coach." your statement is simple, and you hold your mouth in a straight line as you await his response.

"alright, you're off the hook. have a good shit." he gives you a curt nod.

"thank you, coach." you nod back before letting your legs carry you inside and straight for the stairs. taking two stairs at once, you fly up them, running for the door to your changing room.

stumbling towards the bench in front of your name and number, you drop down onto it, knees wobbling under your weight. you release the longest breath you can, placing both hands on the edge of the bench beneath you in a poor attempt to ground yourself. your skin feels like it's on fire, and the sudden warmth after being outside for so long makes you start to overheat. you stand up, completely overwhelmed by the adrenaline, pulling your long sleeved top off as fast as you can. you push both of your socks down, trying to cool your skin as much as possible. your hands fan your face as you huff deep breaths in and out. pacing up and down the room, your mind races with everything Jamie Tartt; the way his hand gripped yours, and the way he held you up with just one arm around your waist, how dark his eyes looked when he caught you checking him out, and especially the way he looked so up close. his tanned skin looked smooth and soft, and the image of his strong fingers between yours makes your vision blur. you catch your bottom lip between your teeth, slowly lowering yourself back to your seat as you picture his face close to yours. you feel your mind beginning to drift even further, but you don't let it, sitting yourself down again and looking up at the ceiling.

"he's a prick, he's a prick, he's a prick," you repeat quietly over and over, pulling yourself away from the hot spiral your mind is approaching.

"y/n?!" you jump at the sound of Gia's loud voice interrupting your mantra, "Roy said you were shitting..."

"oh my god-" embarrassment hits you like a truck, hands flying up to cover your face.

"fucking hell, y/n. you're, like, bright red and topless... are you okay?"

"yeah, I mean, I don't know if it's the adrenaline or what, but, I don't think I can do any more today," your defeat clear in your weak voice, you drop your hands to your lap and look down at your fingers, pins and needles running through them as you recover from being in the cold.

"ew, okay, go home for today. I'll see you later, just get some rest, yeah?" you nod quickly, suddenly feeling a confusing nausea kicking in at the sheer memory of how Jamie's hard chest felt against your hand. as you shake the thought from your head, you feel the need to tell Gia: "I wasn't actually shitting, just so you know."

"jesus, y/n," she shakes her head at you, walking towards where you're sitting. she squats down in front of you, placing two hands on your knees and looking at you with caring eyes. "go home and take a nice cool bath, yeah? relax and calm down... and I just wanna say," her face goes from sweet to serious as she looks directly in your eyes, "the way you played today made me realise what an honour it is to be your captain. I haven't seen you like that since we were teenagers, y/n. each kick against that ball carried so much talent, and passion, and you were just having so much fun."

you give her a weak, lopsided smile, rolling your eyes slightly. she squeezes your knees before looking down and untying your boots for you; "Gia, you don't have to-"

"anything for my striker," she whispers to you with a wink, "I will literally do anything to keep you enjoying football the way you did today."

"I won't lie to you," you start, "training with Jamie definitely helped," you aren't proud to admit it, and you aren't trying to give him kudos for anything, but your constant quarreling added a new fuel to your old fire. even in simple drills, your motivation to win was doubled, and the satisfaction you felt whenever you beat Jamie was almost greater than winning a match -- but you would never admit all that to anybody.

"I can tell," Gia says, raising her eyebrows at you before pushing herself back, "now, get yourself an uber home. I'll see you later."

you do exactly that, getting straight into an uber without even changing out of your training kit. when you get home, you struggle up the stairs, your legs trying their hardest to keep you up. you start running your bath and pull off your muddy clothes, leaving them in a pile on the bathroom tiles. as you light your favourite candle, you stare into the flame. the adrenaline from training has worn off, but despite the exhaustion settling deep in your bones, you can still remember exactly how all of your heightened senses felt. during drills with Roy, every time your kick hit a goal post, your heart soared. even though you used to play that game with Gia all the time when you were in school, something about the way you held your breath as the ball floated through the air made it all the more rewarding. the suspense and the competition made your blood pump faster, Jamie being a key component to that feeling. you even found yourself clapping for him when he made an impressive kick, and he did the same for you. you don't take each other seriously, and maybe that's the secret to keeping football so fun.

after your bath, your body is entirely relaxed, the weightless feeling of the water bringing a sweet relief to your tired legs. wrapped in your towel, you head down the hallway towards you room. as you pass the stairwell you call a loud "hello?" down to the rest of the house, but there's no answer. with a satisfied smile, you continue into your room, dropping your towel. after grabbing your pyjama bottoms, you throw on a tank top before standing in front of your mirror. you take your time with your skincare as your hair dries, giving yourself some much-needed tlc. whilst staring at your reflection, you can't wipe the smile from your face; all the excitement and energy from today has transformed into pure contentment.

in your slippers, you skip down the stairs, heading straight to the kitchen. thank god for your lazy sunday takeouts, because all it takes is heating up some leftovers for you to have dinner set for the evening. you get comfortable on your small sofa, plate in hand, as you turn the tv on to an old episode of your favourite comfort show. kicking your feet up, you stretch your legs over the other couch cushion, feeling an ache in your muscles similar to those after you've just played a real match. the food warms your bones, and your laughter floods the room even though you could recite this episode from memory if asked to.

walking across the room to the kitchen, you drop your plate in the sink before opening the fridge, bending down as you study what you and Gia have in there. grabbing a cold juice pouch, you laugh at another joke on the television, piercing the straw through the plastic as you head back to the comfy couch. dropping yourself on it, you sigh to yourself, staring at the tv screen as your mind drifts again. a blush creeps up your face as slight embarrassment takes over your thoughts, remembering how Roy saw you checking Jamie out at training. Jamie noticing you doing it was bad, but it's somehow even worse that third person was just watching it all from above. the genuine smile you saw on Jamie's face was something you didn't think you'd ever get to witness with your own two eyes. when it was just you two mucking about during your practice drills, there were a few moments when his smile wasn't cocky, or at your expense, but he would just look genuinely proud of himself.

car headlights shine through the front window of the house, and you pause your show, leaning your head back against the arm of the couch. you crook your neck back and to the side, trying to see Gia walking in the door behind you. you hear chatter as she approaches, assuming Isaac is with her, and when she unlocks the door, you were right. behind her is Isaac, and you begin to smile until you see who they've brought home with them.

"what the fuck?" you sputter, quickly sitting up straight and running your hands over your tied-up hair. Jamie saunters in behind Isaac, ignoring you as he slips his shoes off at the door.

"how are you feeling now?" Gia asks sweetly, ignoring your shocked expression at the sight of Jamie Tartt standing in your living room. she drops herself into one of the bean bags across the couch, Isaac sitting one the one next to her.

"I was feeling great until now!" you exclaim, holding a hand out towards Jamie as you look between Gia and Isaac angrily. he's standing at the door with his arms crossed over chest, clearly unsure of what to do.

"Jamie, please come sit down," Gia beckons towards the sofa with a friendly smile, direclty contrasting your not-so-welcoming face.

"uh, where?" he asks, an unfamiliar shyness to his voice.

Gia raises her eyebrows at you, nodding her head towards your spread out legs. you huff and roll your eyes as you fold your legs beneath yourself, sitting criss-cross on the left side of the sofa. without saying anything, Jamie sheepishly walks over to you before sitting on the other cushion. suddenly, you regret ever buying the cozy two-seater, feeling Jamie's broad shoulders brush against yours as you both keep your arms crossed.

"so, we have gathered you here today to witness the joining of two lives," Isaac says with a serious voice, brow low as usual.

"Roy spoke to us after training today, basically proposing a bit of an idea for the two of you." Gia follows, and your eyes are stern as you flick them between her and Isaac. trying your best to look unfazed by Jamie's close proximity to you, the strong smell of his cologne makes that particularly difficult. it floods your senses, salty and fresh. it's the opposite of what you'd imagined, but it still suits him. you steal a glance at his man-spreaded legs, his black denim jeans tight around his thighs. you're not a big fan of his skinny jean look, but you really don't mind the way they hug his muscular legs.

Isaac continues; "Roy said that he thinks you two had a lot of fun training together today, and loved watching the flirty little rivalry you've got going on."

"woah!" you shout, holding your hands up in surrender, "we were not flirting."

"yeah, she was checking me out, not the other way around!" Jamie shakes his head and grimaces, pointing an accusatory finger at you.

"I wasn't checking you out," you groan, looking over at him, "you're the one who offered to kiss me!"

he scoffs at you, sitting up straight as he says: "that is not what happened." with raised eyebrows, he looks at Isaac and Gia, now pointing at them too.

"okay, whatever, I don't care who wants to kiss who," Gia interrupts your protests, "we all think that you two should train and practice together outside of regular training. so, instead of going to the gym after trainings, you continue doing drills and stuff together."

the silence which falls over the room is deafening, you and Jamie matching in expressions as you stare at your captains with your jaws slack.

"train... with him?" you say, utterly confused by the suggestion.

"instead of the gym? what about my gains? Isaac, come on, you can't be serious," Jamie holds his hands out, acting completely helpless.

"sorry bruv, you can still get your reps in whenever you want, but we think you guys can really help each other get motivated and stuff." Isaac tries to smile at the two of you, bearing his teeth in a wide grin. but when he's met with your bored faces, he soon drops the expression.

"the next few games we have are... important, of course, but the stakes aren't too high. after last week's win the women have nothing to worry about, and I mean, the guys seem to be doing just fine, so," Gia rambles, using her hands to emphasise her point. she sighs, dropping her hands in her lap as she slumps her shoulders; "y/n, I haven't seen you play the way you did today in years, and you said it yourself Jamie-"

"stop!" you yelp, interrupting her mid-sentence holding your hands up in front of you as if physically stopping her. while you bite your lip, considering their proposal, you turn your head to look at Jamie and to your surprise, his eyes are already on you. he blinks quickly, looking down at the ground and reaching a hand up to rub his chin. you scan his face, letting your eyes run down his torso before landing on the same place on the ground he seems to be staring at. fingers pulling nervously at the straps of your tank top, you chew on the inside of your cheeks. as you try to picture having to spend any more time alone with Jamie, you start shaking your head side-to-side. your eyes flick back up to Gia, a deep frown now appearing on your face; "no."

in your peripheral, you see Jamie's head snap to the side, eyes boring into the side of your face, but you can't make out his expression. Gia looks at you with a fed-up look in her eyes, and Isaac stays silent. you stare at your captain, emotionless, waiting for her to let you off the hook and send Jamie home. instead, he's the first one to say something, huffing at your words.

"pfft, why not?"

"why not? Jamie, you don't want to do this either," you spit out quickly, finally turning to look at him. your eyes meet, and you immediately notice how alert his eyes are, pupils blown wide.

"yeah, I mean, true... I just don't get why anyone wouldn't wanna spend time with me." he scoffs.

"jesus christ, Jamie," you roll your eyes at him, leaning back against the sofa and crossing your arms again. Isaac and Gia mirror you, both rolling their eyes at Jamie's narcissistic comment.

"listen, if I were getting paid to play football with a woman that would be a whole different story, but I'm not, so." with a shrug, he draws his mouth into a straight line.

"Jamie, your whole job is playing for Richmond," Isaac starts, "you get paid to train... what's the difference if you're training on your own or with y/n?" Isaac takes his explanation slow, squinting at Jamie as he does so.

"it's different 'cus..." Jamie replies, confident at first before his voice falters, his eyes darting around the room thinking of a valid reason. you stare at him expectantly, genuinely curious about what he'll come up with next, but he trails off, staying silent.

"oh! let me guess Jamie, it's because you're not into all that feminist shit, is that it? or is it because I won today? because I beat you, and you're too fucking insecure and egotistical to admit that sometimes you're not the only person out on that pitch who wants to win. how embarrassing for you," you say, standing up from where you're sitting and walking over to the kitchen in a huff. you keep your back turned to everyone as you stand at the sink, turning on the tap and running the water over your hands just so it looks like you're there with a purpose. the air is heavy as long seconds pass, and you're not sure exactly how long the room stays silent for.

"right," Jamie eventually sighs, slapping his hands on his thighs before pushing himself up from the sofa, "I'll be off then." you turn to face the room again, leaning against the kitchen counter.

"Jamie, wait," Gia tries, but he holds a hand up to her as he pouts with a shake of his head, moving towards the door and slipping his trainers on.

"I'll give you a lift," Isaac mutters, struggling his way out of the beanbag before following Jamie out of the front door, still in his slippers.

hands still gripping the counter, you stare down at your feet, only slightly embarrassed by your little jab at Jamie.

"y/n, what the fuck?" Gia snaps as soon as the door clicks shut.

okay, maybe you're more than just a bit embarrassed. you hear Isaac's car rumble to life in the driveway, and you can feel Gia's eyees burn into you. you're suddenly too shy to look up at her, feeling your cheeks turn hot.

"you literally told me you had fun with Jamie! what was that all about?" she first sounds confused before fading into a more concerned tone. the care in her voice makes you look up at her slowly. pushing yourself away from the counter, you lift a hand up to rub your tired eyes before pinching the bridge of your nose.

"I know," you sigh deeply, "I just don't want him to know that." the corner of your lips quirks up for a split, but no real smile breaks through.

Gia sighs too, moving over to the sofa and sitting down where Jamie had previously been. she stares at you, a knowing look in her eyes, before patting the space beside her. you look away from her briefly, eyes glancing at the television, which is still showing the paused image of your abandoned tv show. shuffling towards her, she opens her arms for you, and when you sit down on the couch you lean into her. letting out a deep breath, your mind flashes with thoughts of Jamie for what feels like the tenth time today; his strong fingers between yours, how big his hand felt around your waist, the goosebumps on his neck as he watched the coin flip. your eyes flutter as you imagine his lips, how soft they looked despite the cold air, and the sound of his voice close to your ear. whenever you found yourself close to him, shoulder-to-shoulder on both the pitch and the couch, he always felt so warm. he radiates heat and electricity, your blood running hot even just thinking about him. whether that's in a good way or a bad way, you're not too sure.

"you don't fancy him, do you?"

"oh my god, Gia, no!" you laugh at her question, slapping her leg playfully.

"awe," she coos, "that's a shame. because I kinda think he has a bit of a thing for you."

you shoot up, leaning as far away from her as humanly possible as if it would remove you from that thought completely. you stare at her with your eyebrows arched, a mix of shock and disgust pitting in your stomach.

"wh- oh my god, ew," you shake your head, eyes darting around the room at a rapid pace as you consider her words, blinking fast, "why would you even think that?"

"I can see the way he looks at you, y/n. anyone can see he at least wants to shag you," Gia shrugs as if what she's saying doesn't absolutely repulse you. "what?" she asks you with a chuckle when you just stare at her blankly, "I bet you calling him insecure made him violently hard, and that's why he left so fast."

an unhinged laugh bursts out of your mouth at that, a hand flying up to cover it; "violently?! jesus christ," you both laugh together, the tension in the air dissipating as you continue joking about the idea.

"I mean, Jamie is physically fit, yeah," you explain to her, "and who wouldn't wanna say they've slept with a famous footballer?"

"exactly! why do you think I'm with Isaac?" both of you chuckle before you continue, "but I just don't think us spending any more time together would do anyone any good. today was great and it was exhilarating and fun, but honestly, I think the bickering will only lead to worse."

"you really think so?" Gia's eyes turn soft as she sounds hopeful in her question, "I know he was rude to you at the restaurant, but like... just think about it, y/n, please? for me and Isaac? things have been so stagnant in our teams- good, but stagnant, and I really think it would look good for the coaches if we can get you two on board with this."

you stare into her pleading eyes, completely understanding why she's asking this from you. when you all elected Gia captain, she was the happiest you'd ever seen her. all weekend you heard her on the phone to every family member and friend she could reach, sharing her good news. at every training, she absolutely glows, and her eyes still tear up a bit when anyone casually calls her 'captain'. being able to share her passion for football through her role in the team even multiplied when her and Isaac started going out, and you really wish you still had the same spark for the sport. but spending one-on-one time with Jamie Tartt of all people? if he was literally any nicer to you, it would be an honour to train with someone you admire so much. but now that you know him just that little bit more, enduring any more frustration and anger-inducing strops from him would drain you more than the actual training.

"you never know, maybe he could surprise you," Gia suggests, almost reading your mind.

"he's nice to look at Gia, not nice to talk to." you sigh.

"I don't know about that, y/n, Isaac wouldn't be friends with him if he hadn't cleaned his act up."

"but he hasn't cleaned anything up with me. it really seems like he's just got something against me personally," you hang your head as you nervously fidget with your fingers. what Jamie said at Ola's got to you more than you'd care to admit, even to your best friend.

"give him a second chance, y/n. who knows, it might be fun?"

when you lie down in bed that night, you try to distract your mind with seemingly endless tiktoks, but your brain feels too busy to even just doom scroll. you place your phone on your bedside table, turning over and hugging the soft duvet closer to your chest. your mind races back and forth, the word 'fun' running circles through it. there's nothing fun about being disrespected by someone you once admired, but the thought of being able to shamelessly annoy that same person does sound quite enjoyable. you wouldn't mind getting the excuse to stare at his impressive build some more, that sounds quite fun, but your stomach cramps at the memory of Jamie catching you multiple times. he caught you staring at his arms, his shoulders, his lips. you feel like a mess, head dizzying at the mixed messages you're sending yourself.

after some deep breaths and counting an absurd amount of sheep, you finally manage to meet sleep, but when you wake up early the next morning, deep exhaustion hits you. after turning off your alarm as fast as you can, you yawn so wide your ears pop, groaning to yourself as you dangle your legs off the bed. the cold morning air hits your body as you further climb out of the duvet, and you groan as pain sets into your muscles. "fucking hell," you mutter to yourself, not expecting the first minutes of the day to be so strenuous already. dragging yourself from the bed, you shuffle towards your bedroom window, squinting as you pull the curtains open. the sky is overcast, but still bright, despite the autumn sun having only just risen. you lean your forehead against the window, hoping the slight condensation forces your body awake, but it isn't the glass which shocks you into being alert, it's Jamie standing outside talking to Isaac.

he's leaning against his car casually, the hood of his blue hoodie pulled over his head and tied tightly with the strings. unlike his usual obnoxious fashion sense, he's wearing dark, loose joggers and runners. you stare a little bit longer, quite enjoying the view, until you realise you have no idea why he's at your house again. reaching up, you unlatch your window, pushing it open and leaning over the windowsill. "good morning boys," you call down to them, interrupting their conversation. they both look around, looking for where your voice came from, "up here." you say flatly, waving an unenthusiastic hand.

"good morning!" Isaac chirps, genuinely in a good mood.

"nice hair!" Jamie says with a smirk on his face, and you curse to yourself as you duck out of the window quickly. you glance at the mirror next to your bed, seeing your pony tail hanging on for dear life as your hair has folded in on itself in your sleep. you tug the hair tie out of it, leaving your hair down and messy as you appear back in the window.

"what is this prick doing here?" you ask Isaac, and a sudden shiver runs over your body as the cold really starts to bite you.

"he's giving us a lift to work," Isaac replies.

"why?" you snap.

"because he's a nice person." Isaac snaps back, holding his hands out beside him.

"yeah, so hurry up, woman, don't make me late." Jamie snaps as he dismisses you with a wave of his hand. slamming the window shut, you move quickly between your room and the bathroom, getting ready as fast you possibly can. you decide to leave your hair down on your way to training, a new choice since you normally always have your hair tied up for training. dressed in simple yoga pants and a hoodie, you grab your phone and rush down stairs. your gym bag is exactly where you left it at the front door, and you don't care to check what's in it before picking it up and pulling open your front door.

Gia has now joined Isaac and Jamie at the latter's car as they all chat. it's more a heated discussion than a simple morning chat, but you choose to ignore it. Jamie faces you, still leaning against the side of his fancy car, whilst the other two stand with their backs to you. you let your eyes rake over Jamie properly this time, stunned by how good he manages to look in such a low-effort outfit. the bagginess contrasts his usual too-tight jeans and tops, and you quite enjoy knowing the muscles underneath his clothes without seeing them almost ripping their seams. when the door clicks closed behind you, Jamie's eyes flick away from your friends, landing on you. he blinks a few times, tipping his head back as he drags his eyes down your frame before coming back up to your face.

Jamie seems to be well aware you can see him staring, but he still doesn't tear his eyes away from yours. Gia and Isaac don't seem to notice him staring, continuing whatever explanation they're giving Jamie, but he's definitely not listening. time moves in slow motion as you stare at each other. his fingers come up to untie the string of his hood, and you see his jaw clench as his neck becomes visible. waiting patiently for his next move, your in a bit of a daze, never breaking eye contact with him, even when he stuffs his hands into the pocket at the front of his light blue hoodie. Jamie licks his bottom lip before pulling it between his teeth, and your head tilts down slightly as your eyes focus on the movement. he lifts his lips into a smirk, the change in expression making you quickly look back up at his eyes.

"nice hair," he finally speaks, his tone more genuine than mocking like it was when you were in the window. this comment pulls Isaac and Gia out of their conversation, turning to see you standing on your front step, bag over your shoulder. "oh, finally. let's go!" Gia chirps as she begins walking around the car, completely oblivious as to what she just missed between you and Jamie. Isaac follows, walking to the other side to get in the passenger seat. despite the small smile on your face, you roll your eyes, pushing at the wooden door to make sure it's locked before walking towards the car. you walk right up to Jamie, looking up at him with your head cocked to the side; "thank you, Jamie. nice hoodie."

giving you a tight-lipped smile, he mirrors your tilted head, letting his eyes flick down to your lips. quickly darting his eyes back up to yours, his pupils completely dilate, regretting his seemingly accidental glance. smiling at the reflex, you furrow your brows teasingly, waiting for him to say something, anything, a sarcastic comment or stupid joke, but you get nothing in response. instead, Jamie awkwardly looks down at his shoes, pushing himself off his car and stepping aside to pull open his door. "wait," you say, hand involuntarily reachiing out and wrapping around his wrist, stopping him in his tracks. you gulp nervously, dropping his arm almost as quickly as you grabbed it, before sighing. "I just wanted to say sorry for what I said yesterday, I didn't mean it."

"oh, I'm sorry, y/n... would you mind just quickly remindin' me what exactly you said?" Jamie crosses his arms as he pushes your buttons.

"look, I'm apologising because I'm trying to be nice to you so please don't make this harder than it already is." you sigh, placing a hand on your hip and popping it.

"sorry love, I don't think I can," he leans closer to you, and the heat of your breaths so close together makes a little puff of steam in the cold air.

huffing an annoyed sigh through your nose, you suck in your cheeks before saying: "Jamie," you start, and his eyes are on yours expectantly, "I'm very sorry for calling you insecure,"

"and?" he drawls, not making any move to distance himself from you, and you almost lose your thought at the smell of his amazing cologne again.

"insecure and egotistical," you add, turning to look up at your bedroom window simply so you don't have to look at Jamie. the two of you stand in silence for a few long seconds, and your eyes finally meet his again as you wait for his response. "okay, thank you, y/n." his voice is the same low tone as it was on the pitch yesterday, when you had your hand pressed to his chest, and the sound pulls your stomach into an excited twist. he doesn't drop your eye contact, so you decide to be the one to do it, grunting at him as you pull open the car door, ignoring the butterflies in your stomach. the sound of his low laugh is cut off as you drop into his low car, pulling the door closed behind you.

squished behind the driver's seat, you're face is hidden behind your gym bag. you're grateful for it, not brave enough to face either Gia nor Jamie in the rearview mirror. you settle your gaze out the window, the pout on your lips remaining there during the whole drive. you don't actually feel bad for what you said to Jamie last night, but if apologising means getting Gia off your back, then it's worth it. you want her to excel as captain, and you want to help her do that any way you can, even if that means spending more time with Jamie than you'd like to.

when the car finally pulls into AFC Richmond's car park, you're the last to get out. Gia and Isaac rushed inside to see your coaches, leaving you and Jamie behind.

"coaches duties, I guess," you mutter as you watch them race into the training center, saying it more to yourself than to Jamie. he has one hand resting on the roof of his car and the other reaching out towards you. with a grimace plastered on your face, you look up at him with an eyebrow raised, puzzled by his gesture; "what?" you snap.

"so much for feminism," Jamie groans, rolling his eyes and sighing before jutting his hand closer to you. as if he's a child trying to show you a snail on his hand, you move back, shaking your head at him with the same confusion on your face. ducking his head down with another sigh, he drops his hand for a moment, smacking it against his leg.

"your bag," he says, clearly irritated, before bringing his hand out again, "can I carry your bag for you?"

"what the fuck?" you laugh loudly, attracting the attention of other staff making their way into the building. Jamie lifts his hand to give them a curt wave, sending them an awkward smile. as you clutch your stomach with laughter, you turn away from Jamie, making your way towards the door.

"what?" he whines, following close in your step, "I'm being serious! I'm trynna be nice here."

"Jamie, since when is it feminist to assume a lady needs her bag carried?" you push through the doors, smiling to yourself, knowing this is driving him nuts.

glancing back at him, you see him walking with his shoulder slumped, a bewildered look on his face; "I'm so confused," his words are surprisingly genuine, no more bitter edge to his tone.

"Jamie," you smile at him, stopping in the middle of the hallway to face him, "I'm fucking with you. but, no, over my dead body will I ever let you touch my stuff." you continue walking, speeding up your pace as you approach the staircase which leads to the women's locker room.

"you say that, y/n, but I was literally on your couch last night so..."

with your back still turned to him, you hold your tongue, simply rolling your eyes as you choose not to bite back.

"woah, Jamie, you went home with her last night?" is the last thing you hear someone say before sprinting up the stairs, again, ignoring it. whatever Jamie replies to that question would only make you angry, so you decide to tune it out and be the bigger person.

as you make your way down another hallway where the ground is covered in fake grass, you bump into Roy. your eyes lighten up at the sight of him, raising a hand to wave at him, but when you see his smile turn smug, you drop your arm. you feel your cheeks go hot as you remember the words you two parted with yesterday, and your wide smile shrinks into a polite, tight-lipped one.

"how did your shit go?" Roy speaks when you meet each other in the middle of your path. you sigh, ignoring his question and looking at him with stern eyes; "do you think I should train with Jamie?" your voice cracks in the middle of your sentence, not because you're going to cry but because you just don't know what to do about the situation. Roy fills his cheeks with air before blowing out slowly, extremely slowly. he stares down the hallway for so long that you glance over your shoulder to make sure there's not a ghost standing there.

"Roy, I'm going to be late to training if-" you whisper, but he's quick to interrupt you.

"yes."

"yeah? really?"

"yes."

"why?" you challenge his deadpan answers, crossing your arms over your chest and furrowing your brow at him.

taking a deep breath in through his nose, you're actually quite nervous for his answer. you're well aware they haven't always been the best of friends, and Isaac's told you all about their old rivalry, but he's you also know they've managed to move on from that by now.

"because..." he starts, dragging the word out in a growl, "as much as I hate to say this, I think he needs real competition with someone in order to be good at football."

"why do I have to be that competition? can't you just use someone from his own team,"

"sadly, I can't personally fight him, and he's too much of a team player now."

"so I'm gonna be his fucking punching bag so you guys can score goals?" you suddenly start getting warm, and not in the nice way. "Gia said this would somehow help her as our captain but now you're saying I'm basically just doing Jamie a favour," you continue.

"not entirely," Roy breathes out, staring at you with the hope that you'll let it go and agree, but you put up more of a fight.

"tell me what's going on."

"fine." he grunts, "first of all, Ted's made Jamie all nice and kind by giving him a second chance, so he's not as intense on the field as he used to be. sometimes they need him to be a prick, just not to his own teammates. so, after seeing you guys rile each other up at training yesterday I thought it could be a good idea to have you bring back that fire in him."

with your mouth dropped open, you stare up at Roy while he speak completely bewildered by his explanation. you consider protesting, since this is probably the most consecutive words he's ever said to you, you let him finish.

"second, Gia thinks you might need the same kind of thing," he stutters through his statement, clearly wary of your response. but when he sees your unwavering expression, he continues; "I mean, I do see where she's coming from. she wants you to enjoy football again, and she knows you have fun with the more aggressive parts of it,"

"fun... fuck's sake," you mumble to yourself, pinching the bridge of your nose.

Roy ignores your interjection; "y/n, I think in asking you to do her a favour, Gia is also doing you one. she wants you to play the best you can, and you want her to succeed the best she can. don't even think about Tartt in all of this, he'll be just fine without or without you."

you chew the inside of your cheeks, staring up at Roy with a complete lack of emotion. your mind, however, is running on high, and you feel like an overheating motor as you think over his points. you want to ask what Jamie thinks about this whole idea, but you decide against it; this isn't for Jamie, this is for Gia. you want her to be the best captain she can be, and you want to be the best footballer you can be. you know your passion has worn off with the stress of playing for Richmond, and as much as you don't want to agree that this will help you, you know it's true. you know very well that you need this as much as Gia needs you, and you hate to think of having to leave the team just because you couldn't do your best on the pitch. the deep need for football has dissipated over the years, but your want for it has returned.

"fine."

———

yaaay part two! finally! i can't wait for the all the juicy shit coming up! i hope you enjoyed reading, i'm always open for any and all feedback -- my ask is open!

also sorry if there's typos i didn't get to properly correct the second part much love <3

[sheenashifts1217]

Pick A Pile #2

Message From Your DR S/O

This is what won the pole so here you guys go (:

Welcome to my second pick a pile! This is a collective reading, so take what resonates, leave what doesn't. For a more in depth and personalized reading, check out my pinned post <3

Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Open them. Which photo are you most drawn to?

Pile 1 (butterfly drink)

Lyrics standing out:

"dark room

time moved too fast (I can see you coming home or back to a hotel room after a late night out. The wind blows the curtains as you open the door. They wrap their arms around you and kiss you as you lay back on the bed)

Your shoulders brush

You can hear it in the silence

see it with the lights out

Burnt toast, you keep his shirt

One step, said enough

You're my best friend

Spent my whole life trying to put it into words

round and round, downtown

the way home

you're in love"

Hello beautiful Pile 1! I'm picking up a more masculine energy from your S/O, but they still have a very healthy relationship with their feminine side as well. You are what they have been looking for their entire life. They see you as the "invisible string" in their life. You've always been right in each other's faces but you just now realized it. They wish they would've acted on their feelings sooner so that there was never that period of hurt or miscommunication. It feels like you were either enemies to lovers or childhood friends to lovers, or maybe even just lived in the same town but didn't really talk much. Either way, there is some kind of history there between the two of you that you're s/o is very grateful for, but they regret not acting sooner. I heard them say "We're a couple of fools, aren't we?". They're showing me the two of you playing with chalk on the side walk as children and then the two of you coming back to that same spot now that you're older. You're holding hands and wearing the bracelets you made/gave each other. Like it's really giving those Hallmark movies where one of them leaves for whatever reason and it goes south so they come home and realize they needed their person all along. It's super adorable.

Your s/o wants you to know that you are their home, their safe place, their haven. No one in the world makes them feel the way you do. Again, the only regret they have with you, is not being yours sooner. They love coming home to you and I feel like they also really like when you wear flowy dresses. You're both children at heart, so not only are they your s/o, but they're your best friend. They say to remember how special you are and "you're my butterfly". (that blew my mind since this is the butterfly drink pile). The only future they see, is one with you in it. They hate to be away from you and are telling you to hurry up because they "need cuddles". Movie nights may be a thing for you guys.

confirmation: purple, 333, butterflies, "time flies when you're having fun", "here comes the sun", school bus, clouds, jump ropes

Pile Two (Hearts)

Lyrics standing out:

"Won't you look my way

What you got to say

Everybody talks

Made my lips hurt, I could hear the chit chat

Everybody talks back

It started with a whisper

Mama's always gotta back track

Got in the way

What you gotta say"

Hello my lovely pile 2! When this sing started playing, I was immediately shown some type of dinner and lots of dancing. Your DR could possibly be set in the 50's or 60's or 80's. It could also be a fame DR and you're filming a movie set in one of those periods. Either way, you and your s/o dance a lot. They are amazed by the way your body moves and sometimes find themselves having dirty thoughts about you. This feels like more of a slow burn trope and you all may not be together yet. They are YEARNING so badly for you. They feel frustrated, "why don't you see me". They're afraid that they're in the friendzone, when in reality, you both need to use your words and tell each other the truth. You may be holding back from confessing your feelings because you fear what others or the public will say. Or you worry that they worry about what others may say. They may be a poet of some sort because they just said, "your eyes shine, lips so divine, gotta be mine". Told you they're yearning.

"Why won't you love me? Let me in", they have grown tired of the games and the cat and mouse. Your s/o is ready for you, so be ready for them. They just want you to see how beautiful you are and really believe it. They say, "You're brilliant, you're a genius baby", and the kiss you're cheek. I can see you looking back at them kind of shocked and that breaks their heart. They really just want you guys to communicate so you can be how you're meant to. They want you to know that you deserve all of your hearts desires.

confirmation: 5 Seconds of Summer, Luke Hemmings, blue, turtles, the beach, bad girl, Jojo siwa, 444, dirt, sprout, plants, spiral, mcdonald's play area

Pile 3 (the flower)

Lyrics standing out:

"You were in college working part time

Why we bother with love if it never lasts

I can see it now

You put your arm around me for the first time

There's a drawer of my things at your place

We'll never make my parents mistakes

City lights

Made a rebel of a careful man's careful daughter

You took me by surprise

I'll never leave you alone

Every time I look at you, it's like the first time

I fell in love

she is the best thing that's ever been mine

Hold on, make it last

I can see it now"

Hello my gorgeous pile 3! You and your s/o know how to have fun together, you don't mind to get your hands dirty. Some of you may have a "Twisters" DR, I keep seeing Glen Powell. Your s/o is ready to take you on an adventure, show you places and things you've never seen. You guys are attached at the hip. You're that couple that is always together and has the best humor. Your s/o likes PDA. Not so much where it makes people uncomfortable, but they like to show everyone who they belong to. They may have their hand on your thigh when you're out at dinner or their hand on your hip at the store. They are chivilrous. They like to open doors for you and get your seat or take your coat. If your s/o is male, it's giving gentleman vibes.

I kept seeing a bowling alley and a truck bed while I was listening to this song, they want to take you on a simple, fun date, just for a good time. They want you to realize that loving you is like breathing air for them. Stop being so hard on yourself. They're not going to leave you. If you're going through something, they just want to help. Let them in, that's why they're your partner. They love you for all that you are. I heard "something isn't worth having if you didn't have to work for it. I see a field of daisy's, they may call you "miss daisy". You're so is telling you to let yourself be loved, not liked. Love isn't about being likeable, it's about relationship and teamwork. You will get through this and grow stronger. We sometimes need obsticals to build our strength. Look at the problem in front of you and face it. You've got this and you are loved. Relax.

confirmation: Thanos, infinity stones, avengers, doctor strange, donuts, The Simpsons, Pepsi, Cigarettes, trailor park, South park, Eric Cartman, red, beanie, lavender plant

[sephirthoughts]

For the ask game (sorry if you've already answered one of them): Cloud, Sephiroth and Zack?

YAAAASSSSSSS MY BOYSSSSS also you circumvented my vengeance you sly devil don't think i didn't notice. though i don't know who you are so it's not like i can do anything about it. DASTARDLY

i got a separate ask about just Sephiroth so i am gonna do that one there instead of twice i hope that's ok 😅

ON TO THE QUESTIONS

CLOUD STRIFE

BEHOLD HIS CHUUNIBYOU SHONEN NAME AND DESPAIR

How I feel about this character

i love cloud because he's a short, autistic, smart-mouthed trauma-case with a savior complex and a penchant for black clothing that in no way reflects me personally SO SHUT UP ABOUT IT THERAPIST

All the people I ship romantically with this character

🎶 toxic yaoi-us ira vehementi 🎶

i love vincent for cloud almost as much as sephiroth, but for the opposite reasons. cloud and vincent have a ton in common, compatible (though admittedly very closed-off) personalities, and their relationship would be fucking amazing because they could be a safe and quiet space for one another (if they ever actually made a move instead of just silently pining which neither of them ever would), which i am writing a whole-ass fic about

but for pure smut purposes, i ship basically everyone with cloud. my current favorite is reeve tuesti

My non-romantic OTP for this character

also vincent. they're just too perfect for each other personality-wise

My unpopular opinion about this character

his personality isn't that way because of his trauma. that's an easy excuse, so people can act like he just needs to be fixed and he'll suddenly be neurotypical and social. he won't.

he doesn't need to change just because other people want him to. he doesn't need to "be fixed" just because he's different. he doesn't need to force himself to become mr. sunshine and perform exhausting social masking for the benefit of his selfish-ass friends who never consider him, only what they want from him.

cloud is perfect the way he is. he needs therapy because he's broken and deserves healing not because he needs to alter his behavior to suit others. he needs one very close friend to sit silently with. that's all. everyone else needs to leave him the fuck alone. some people LIKE to ride around by themselves in the desert and not answer their phones ever. that's perfectly ok.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

i wish he'd have slapped jessie raspberry in the fucking face for relentlessly sexually harassing him and groping him and nonconsensually kissing him. what a scumbag

ZACK MY BELOVED

How I feel about this character

[crying, throwing up, drinking a fifth of whiskey and smashing the bottle] i feel fine about him this is fine

All the people I ship romantically with this character

AERITH but it's not a hetero ship because they're both bisexual. also SEPHIROTH which IS a hetero ship because they're both SOLDIERs and everyone knows SOLDIERs can't be gay they just love each other and live together and have sex and own three cats and have picked side-by-side cemetery plots in a heterosexual way

and as i always say, for smut purposes: basically everyone

My non-romantic OTP for this character

tseng. i love zack and tseng's friendship. it has made me cry before. don't tell anyone it'll ruin my street cred

My unpopular opinion about this character

he was partially responsible for sephiroth losing his mind. i'm not saying it's his FAULT. he treated him the way he did based on a lot of external factors.

i mean, imagine you get assigned to work with someone you have looked up to as a hero and idolized since forever, who is not only the best in the world, but super famous. and also you both just lost coworkers/friends that were important to you. and also you have only interacted like a dozen times tops. then, while on this mission, you find him reading books and seeming upset, on the mission site. when you ask if he's ok, he tells you to piss off. you'd listen to him! you wouldn't push!

it would have been BIZARRE for zack to trespass that boundary and try to force help on sephiroth. unfortunately for nibelheim, sephiroth REALLY needed someone to do just that. that's called tragedy.

zack is not to blame for the way he treated Sephiroth in the situation, but it absolutely DID contribute to his swift decline.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

i wish he hadn't field-tested his ability to absorb lead at high volume and velocity 😭

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK 🖤

[onlyyourhallucination]

heeeey if your requests are still open i have one right here but ignored otherwise, it's totally fine!

anyways what if reader is jing yuan's sister? (could be older or younger your choice) who recently found out that she's being courted by none other than imbibitor lunae? would it be easy to get jing yuan's approval or if he would even get an approval at all?

also i have high cloud quintet era in mind when this scenario came up since they're closer friends and allies on that time.

thanks and have a good day!

Assistance

Pairing : Imbibitor Lunae x Reader

A/n : Genuinely, this took me a while to, understand. If this is going for the high quintet era, then it, IL, should be as Dan Feng now is it not, or am I wrong. Anyways, Thank you for requesting though!

As a younger sibling, of a certain young male, Jingyuan. You were so eager to learn how to fight, you have been asking for Jingyuan to teach you how to fight.

Well, he did. But not as much, until a certain man somehow, knew about you wanting to learn about it.

His beautiful long black hair, flows slightly as he watches you swing your weapon. He is very capable to teach you any type of weapon that you wanted to learn, but don't you ever wonder how did he know you wanted to learn how to fight?

And today is the day where the question hits you, you are in the training grounds, with him, he is called as "Dan Feng", his gentle also firm gaze watches you as you train.

You put down your weapon after training for awhile, you sat down under the shades, and Dan Feng approached you, "How are you feeling?" He asked as he offer you a drink, you whispered a thank you as you accepted the drink from him.

"Say, uhm.. Dan Feng Gege," He hummed softly as he stood near you, looking down at you, "How did you, know that," You paused for a moment, "I want to learn how to fight?" He stared at you for a second, he frowns, "Well your brother mentions you multiple times" he replied short, making you stared quite speechless.

"My brother did?" You earned a chuckle from him, "Yes, he did" but before he could continue, a familiar voice appeared in the distance.

"(Y/n)-!" Both of you turn your head towards the owner of the voice, It belongs to Jingyuan, who's now walking towards both of you.

"Dan Feng, why didn't you tell me about this!" He sounded quite disappointed of what's happening, you pondered. Wait, Jingyuan doesn't know Dan Feng trained you?

"Jingyuan, You didn't know?" Both You and Jingyuan had a little quarrel, while Dan Feng at the distance staring at both of you for one moment before trying to separate you both away, "Calm down, It is not (Y/n)'s fault, It is my fault for reaching out to her and teach her without telling you" Dan Feng admitted.

Jingyuan stared at Dan Feng in disbelief, he then sighed softly, "Still... Well, at least I know where and how you got that small scratches" He looked at you and smiled, "Promise me, you won't be too harsh on (Y/n)" Jingyuan said, earning a soft chuckle from Dan Feng, "Of course, don't worry"

"But next time, please tell me about this so that I don't get suspicious on why both of you are gone at a certain hour." Jingyuan massaged the sides of his head, "Sorry.." You apologized.

You didn't know that, Jingyuan didn't know your training with Dan Feng, so it's, not entirely your fault.

So, Dan Feng got a approval from Jingyuan. Though he would appreciate you telling him instead of keeping it a secret.

©onlyyourhallucinations ; do not copy/translate

A/n : I'm sorry it took awhile, I hope you enjoyed the fic! Also, if you said that you have sent a request, then I believe, you're the anon who sent the mute request? Apologies that I cannot fulfill the request since, you sent it when my requests are closed.

( 5/5 )

[starlightmeissa]

out of curiosity, do you have any notes on your discontinued stories?

i don't! pretty much all of my discontinued fics were done prior to me using outlines, so what you see on ao3 is literally all i wrote for the fic. that's why they're all discontinued! i didn't think about those fics much outside of the current chapter i was working on, which made it harder to return to them when my interest waned.

all of my currently active fics have outlines and hefty notes sections, especially in regards to cheek to the wall and fluffy clouds. thats part of how i know i won't drop those fics, bc i just have so much stuff to look at if i need inspo in the future.

BUT! i can give a rough synopsis of thoughts i vaguely had for a few of my discontinued fics. whether or not i remember everything is up to fate though. also disclaimer that i wrote Every Single One of these fics while i was still in high school/same year i graduated so i include my feelings on how i would write them differently now that im like. an adult.

magneto:

(this is probably why you're asking, most people only really want to hear about magneto when they ask about my discontinued stuff. so i'll put magneto first!)

kenzo was going to enter a confrontation with her father and utterly destroy him. he would have said he's proud of her when she almost kills him.

all for one would have tried to take kenzo's quirk

in the future kenzo would have been one of the top ten heroes, maybe not first but very close.

really not much to say. the only future thoughts i had were literally having kenzo beat the shit out of her dad with his own baseball bat and with her own hands

something something daddy issues something something you're just like your father and it makes you want to rip yourself open and take every part of him out of you

feinting on your blind side:

jane would have lived happily ever after with bull. no sadness. honestly i consider my au of the chargers dying to be my internal canon, if only because it's actually finished. in a case where the chargers Don't Die, jane is just there along for the ride

really not sure if i love the age gap i wrote for these two. probably would have made her older now, even if part of their dynamic was jane's fear and inexperience with the world around her, that doesn't require her to be 21-23(? i don't remember)

characterization wise i don't think it's correct to assume bull would enter a serious relationship with someone younger than dorian. i think hook ups are different, but the sheer level of inexperience jane has would probably make him push her towards people closer to her age, like krem. for sure he could be fond of her, but he is old enough to be her father. like. her proper, normally aged father.

solas dynamic was crazy in this fic i literally think jane's anxiety about him gave me major anxiety while writing. i don't think i understood dai's companions as well when i wrote the fic, but i do think if i wrote it now i would flesh out solas and jane's dynamic much more.

also side note jane should not have gotten away with smart mouthing vivienne in this fic idk what i was on. i love you vivienne but you have never suffered fools and worse suffered a SERVANT talking back to your face and saying the circles are evil

one of the few justified moments of jane's anxiety was fearing viv's retribution cause girl i would be scared too

artists and dragons:

tera was being influenced by hermeus mora. her insatiable pursuit for knowledge was for his benefit

i wish i had written her as older, because i felt like there was the chance for a more interesting dynamic with brynjolf. i think i was just too young when i was writing artists and dragons to consider more serious topics like sexual relationships and SA (both very lightly touched on in fic due to their sensitive nature and my being a teenager with no idea how to even approach that)

honestly there is a non-zero chance i rewrite this fic with an older tera and more outlining in the future, because i still like the concept. my skill level has increased and i dislike the fast pacing of the fic. (ie tera and her companions all sharing a bed after knowing each other a month max in fic. so weird. it had been 5 months of writing so it had felt longer to me)

brynjolf would have figured out tera was under daedric influence after becoming a nightingale, due to a inherent Sense for when someone else is a daedric worshiper etc etc

the dragonborn would have used tera's information to find information she otherwise wouldn't have had access to

les etrangers:

reavv and i discontinued it because the scope was too wide and Every SIOC We Wrote was based on a real person we knew

which really complicated being able to develop those characters and feel comfortable with killing any of them off etc

the company would have supported a revolution in Orlais, maybe a reinstatement of the Dales. general revolutionary thoughts, general mayhem.

love this fic because it got me and reavv to become friends and realize our writing style's meshed very well.

qui vivra vera:

maria would have won her games at great personal loss. the entire 11-12 alliance would have maintained itself as long as it could. 12's boy would die first, then 11's girl, then at the end of the game it would have been 11's boy and maria.

11's boy would be injured critically and maria would have held him until he died.

maria probably would have had a kill count of 3(?), all careers. augustus (the original winner of the games) would have died by her hands. really impressive considering he is jacked as shit

maria would become the youngest winner ever, swiftly dethroning finnick after like 2 years(?) of him breaking the last record (jesus why did i write her like that thats so fucking horrifying)

you can imagine how poorly that goes for her in extremely unsavory ways. due to her willingness to offer herself to save a stranger she didn't know very well it would be very easy for president snow to keep her in line.

this fic would have been much darker in tone if i wrote it now and much less obnoxious about underage drinking. i was in highschool when i wrote it and had never drank or been drunk before, as you can probably tell.

the dumpster fire situation:

genuinely have no idea where i was going with this one. i was a junior in high school and just depressed tony stark died

came home crying in the car like "I CANNOT ALLOW THIS" and then started a fic so early in the timeline it was literally impossible to get where i wanted to be

i decided to give jay access to her phone so she could get social media fame from the ordeal (losing literally her whole family and being stuck in a warzone) and also because i was fascinated by how people would react to a person who is like. earnestly saying they are in the mcu-verse and no this isn't cgi. im serious. its bad guys can someone send me a link to the wiki

extremely funny idea i don't know if id rewrite it, but by god imagine a tiktok live and it's just a fucking dusty teenager swearing on her life she's just experienced the battle of new york

no real plans for this fic. i think she was going to get herself access to tony but i have no idea how. they dont really let random teenagers have access to tony stark billionaire playboy philanthropist. actually it would be really fucking weird if tony agreed to meet this random teenage girl without like Viable Proof she needs his help for saving the world reasons. and even then she may just end up dealing with sheild instead.

AND THATS ALL! i have other discontinued dragon age fics, but those are all short. if you care about those just comment and i'll talk about them. but other than that, thanks for the ask!

[inventors-fair]

First Pickable: Typal Winners ~

Our winners for this week are @helloijustreadyourpost, @reaperfromtheabyss and @tanknspank!

@helloijustreadyourpost — Score of a Lifetime

This one is absolutely sold for me. I assume that this is a Capenna-themed card? I mean, considering the scored, I'd say so, so as to avoid the batching that something like OTJ had. All the same, there are a LOT of Rogues there, and a lot of colors. Maybe this could've even been a Treasure, right? But regardless, having a little bit of every color get a little bit of roguishness is pretty much on the nose for what we're looking for mechanically. There was that one artifact from VOW that made a creature unblockable with a bonus for Vampires, but that wouldn't be as fought over. This card, though? I love the evasive theme that everyone would seek if there are indeed rogues, well, everywhere.

And the flavor text is pretty awesome too—which is what fully sells me on the card, because you're expressing a whole lot of possibilities here. The first is that a thief's life is short because of their field of work, but the other is that being "set for life" could just be a temporary measure, and that the rogue would squander it and impulsively go on to the next job—not for the money, but for the thrill. That's a way more esoteric read than I think is necessary, but dammit, it's speaking to me, so I'm going to roll with it. Nobody can stop me!

@reaperfromtheabyss — Sentry's Shortsword

My first thought was that this could be an excellent Kaldheim card, but then I remembered the Artificer example from the beginning of the week, and then yeah, okay, this could also be a more military-oriented card from Kaladesh. That was a really weird thought for me, especially because I remember Kaladesh's dwarves as being pilots and tinkerers, not as much soldiers. But my imagination is running ahead of me. In some ways...isn't that a good thing? Maybe I do like specificity and pounded-into-the-forge worldbuilding. With a set like this, there could be some story behind it to push it in either direction.

That's very cool. That's very cool indeed. As an equipment, this card's on the aggressive and defensive sides, and everyone who's ever played against Danitha in any form knows how much of a pain first strike and vigilance is. Perhaps I'm biased towards vigilance as a mechanic. It's equally possible that vigilance kicks ass and I'm correct and handsome and etc. Don't matter none when a dwarf is swinging at your face. I like the low-to-the-ground implication here, no pun intended, and how you linked the flavor of dwarves with the auto-equip. Like, to me that says something about how they're either readily weaponized or close to the forge? I like cards that make me prone to positive overthinking and this one gets the job done right.

@tanknspank — Sudden Swarming

As an annoying first critique, I will say that I wish the flavor text had been one sentence: "The two kings agreed to clash at dawn, but a neighboring queen arranged a temporary truce." That's about it. The image of these armies fleeing at the behest of a cloud of annoyed bugs is punny, hilarious, and a great use of an underused mechanical space, in my opinion. Does anyone love Fogs? Well, no, because they haven't made a good one in a kajillion years. Is this one of the best Fogs ever? I mean, I think so, but mostly because I'm a jerk.

And also, like, there could be one single Insect or Insect-themed card in this whole draft set, and it wouldn't have any payoff except for this one card, but this one card would be a single sideboard piece in most decks. Someone might want to start building Insects in standard and be disappointed, and/or add it to their Grist commander deck. That's what cards like this should be about, and this is both a hilarious use of the prompt and a great use of this kind of spot overall. Puns don't always get me in design, but this one sure does. A card that stands on its own merits is a card I can get behind.

Runners up 'n coming. @abelzumi

[case-of-traxits]

WRO Reeve + Heartbreak

One who wears the crown, bears the crown.

For @here-be-ninjas | From a discussion on this post.

So I've been sitting on this for a few days now in my drafts. I kept trying to type it up as a reply on that fic, but the fact is... I just have too many feels and it kept getting way too long and I didn't want to slam out like, three half-thought out things. So here, I've done my best to outline some things that are going on for WRO that break my heart.

I have no idea if this is what you were expecting or wanting, but this is what you're getting.

Also, please excuse the gratuitous use of gifs, but like, I'm just delighting in the fact that when I search "Reeve Tuesti" in the gifs thing, I GET SOMETHING OMG.

(That wasn't true pre-Remake really. But thankfully, people are slowly realizing he's super handsome. So it's a win for me!)

Time to put my metal on Whose blood to spill? I don't know whose side I'm on. Two armies are coming at me. Their flags and weapons look the same. One tells the truth; the other's lying. And they're both calling my name.

-- "How Villains Are Made," by Madalen Duke

Canon Explanation

So at the beginning of Final Fantasy VII, we have three massive disasters occur in Midgar, all over the course of three days: Reactor 1 is bombed, Reactor 5 is bombed, and Sector Seven is dropped. It is certainly canon that all of these events deeply affected Reeve emotionally (if you want to see a video comparing Reeve's reaction to the Plate Drop plan, you can see that here).

Now, I don't think it's fanon to extrapolate that at the end of FF7, Reeve has lost basically everything.

Canonically, he's had to deal with the following:

The loss of Reactor 1.

The loss of Reactor 5.

The dropping of Sector Seven.

Tseng is nearly killed (how close Reeve is to Tseng is up for debate).

Cait Sith the First dies (as a sub-note on this one, not only does Cait Sith die, but the very thing that he dies for, to prevent Sephiroth from getting the Black Materia? Is immediately voided because Cloud hands it over to Sephiroth).

Aerith dies (how close Reeve is to Aerith is also up for debate).

Diamond WEAPON attacks Midgar, which is, of course, full of innocent civilians.

Reeve is dragged away to be imprisoned during this attack because he refuses to go along with Scarlet and Heidegger.

At some point, Reeve is freed (although, that's not important enough apparently to get a mention in the OG) and he organizes the evacuation of Midgar, which has to be evacuated through, canonically, a single train line and a single highway that wrap around the central pillar.

He shuts down all of the reactors in Midgar. I'll have to see if I can find a canon source for when, exactly, this happens; it happens sometime between when he is freed and when Edge is started, and I think there's mention somewhere that it's before the Lifestream surge that stops Meteor. However, per On the Way to a Smile, Episode: Barret, all mako reactors across the entire world have been shut down as of "several months after [Meteorfall]."

A few days after this evacuation process is started, his mother is killed when the Lifestream surges up to stop Meteor.

If he'd had any hope whatsoever of salvaging Midgar, or returning people to the city after the Meteor crisis, that's shot down after the Lifestream surge. So now he has a city full of people who refused to leave prior to Meteorfall, another city (Kalm) full of people who did evacuate, and no power for any of them. Again, you can see On the Way to a Smile, Episode: Barret if you want a little peek as to what some of the pre-Mako tech looked like. Spoiler? It isn't pretty. I'm talking coal-powered trucks kind of not pretty. This is a world without gasoline as tech. Mako literally powers everything, and they're now rationing what was left in the reactors. With that in mind, it's really no wonder that the WRO is militaristic.

As someone who has worked at an electric company (I want to add "canonically," but I mean IRL. XD), let me tell you, people without power? They are panicky. But okay, that's not addressed canonically, so let's disregard that side note.

Instead, let's just focus on everything else.

He's lost literally everything that he has clearly dedicated himself to: Midgar, his parents, one of his robot cats, and his entire livelihood. And suddenly, he's the only one with anything even resembling the experience necessary to run the world. The last standing member of the Shinra Board, and effectively, he's taken Rufus' place as the de-facto world leader.

And all of this starts on 12/9/07 and ends "the last third" of 01/08, according to the Crisis Core Ultimania Timeline.

So... all of that. In six-ish weeks.

And this is true before we even touch on the expanded canon and my headcanons regarding Reeve Tuesti.

You reach the battle lines Racing inside your mind A question for all time, is it you? So gravity defy And storm the darkest night Is it you? Is it you who will save us?

-- "Who Will Save Us," by Tommee Profitt

Expanded Canon and Headcanon Time!

Expanded Canon: The Inspire Thing

So. Cait Sith. Beloved fuzzy son.

First, let's look at Reeve's profile from the 10th Anniversary Ultimania:

The head of the Urban Development Department. Involved in the construction of Midgar from the very beginning, he watches over the town’s development like that of a child. By utilizing his special ability, “Inspire”, he is able to cause inorganic things to emit life; his “child”, the “cat”-shaped robot, Cait Sith can be controlled from a great distance. After Meteorfall, he became the director of the World Regenesis Organization (WRO), which is devoted to the purpose of restoring life to the planet.

So this is interesting for a lot of reasons, but there's two very important things that this profile does for us:

One, it clearly states that Reeve has been "involved in the construction of Midgar from the very beginning," and he "watches over the town's development like that of a child." So... That's a great character note and a problem, but let's put a pin in that and we'll discuss the problem part of that in the next section. So the thing you need to actually note there is that Reeve loves Midgar. Like a child.

And two, it defines Reeve's surprisingly controversial "Inspire" ability. I say surprisingly because here's the general breakdown. Reeve has literally always had this ability, but people will sometimes discount it because it's not "mentioned" in any of the games. And that isn't... wrong, exactly. Reeve is never, at any point in any of the games, 'outed' as an Inspire. However, let's look at the Ultimanias over the years:

Now, I wish I had links to all of these pages for you, but the simple fact is, I don't. I could probably get links to all of them, given enough time, but I'm still rebuilding my compiled FF7 References Google Drive folder. When I get everything in there, I'll post a link.

The point I want to make with this is that it isn't something new. This is not some detail they retconned in to make things work. They've literally always implied it in game. There's a few metas floating around periodically that talk about Reeve and Cait Sith, and maybe one day I'll sit down and write up my own, but I want to be able to link to certain things like the Before Crisis scripts and such, because there's evidence in there to prove that Cait Sith is not just a 'robot'. He's a plush cat, yes. He's an animatronic, yes. But he's also an individual.

Canonically, in the original game, he feels pain when he trips and falls in the Temple of the Ancients on his way to die. He begs Cloud and AVALANCHE not to forget him, even if another Cait Sith shows up. He reminds them all that there's only one him. (And then of course, they promptly forget him. T_T)

In Before Crisis, Reeve gives the player Turk a controller to use with Cait Sith, but Cait Sith has 'thought' dialogue in the game that cannot be attributed to Reeve.

In Dirge, you see Cait Sith and Reeve together at several points, and they always move fairly in sync, but there's no indication of a controller in Reeve's hand at any point. And okay, that could be because Dirge was really bad about character models. We never did, after all, get a pregnant Lucrecia model in that game. ... Or in any other game, for that matter. But that's a different problem.

The fact is, at no point is Reeve ever shown using a controller. How he controls Cait Sith is subtle enough that he can control Cait Sith actively during a board meeting that he lets AVALANCHE listen in on during the original game. That's the board meeting where Scarlet and Heidegger propose loading up the failed rocket in Rocket Town with materia and launching it into Meteor in an attempt to stop it. And none of the other directors (or Rufus, who is canonically aware of Cait Sith and Reeve's control of him) notice. So I don't think it's actually a stretch of canon to assume that Reeve doesn't have a visible means of controlling Cait Sith.

Which means... yes. It's magic. Some kind of mental connection to Cait Sith. And let's just... digest that for a second.

Imagine a mental connection to something you love like a child.

And you send it to be crushed to death in an attempt to stop Sephiroth from obtaining a materia that he will use to destroy the world.

And immediately after you've done this, you have to get the next version of that child to the same place, to the same group of people, who have already lost the materia you entrusted them with.

(And, as an aside, you were just using this second version of that child to rescue a dying coworker that, your own personal closeness aside, your good friend is very close to. Because Before Crisis makes it very clear that Reeve and Veld are close in some fashion. It's a little ambiguous about their exact relationship, but they're close enough that Reeve risks everything to help the Turks because he's sure they're helping Veld who is on the run from Shinra at that point.)

Now, all of this to say... Why am I rambling about Reeve's Inspire ability and Cait Sith? Well...

Headcanon: The Inspire Thing

My personal headcanon is that Reeve, with long enough exposure to anything inorganic (i.e., his car or reactors) can inadvertently form a bond with it. Even grant it a sort of ... half-life. Now, admittedly, this is entirely fanon. I make no arguments that there is any sort of canonical support for the Inspire abilities working with this way.

But the fact is... it's odd, isn't it, that the reactors are under Urban Development? Why aren't they under Science?

(And yes, that is canon. It's in the original game that reactor control is under Urban Dev-- Reeve Tuesti-- not Science.)

So this is something I play with, that Reeve is some kind of brilliant engineer, constantly tweaking the reactors, adjusting them to maximize every drop of mako energy as efficiently as possible. And in my headcanon, he manages that in part by directly interfacing with the reactors.

Which uh... makes blowing them up emotionally problematic for him. How emotionally problematic? Well, @ladykf-writes wrote me some amazing ficlets that feature my headcanons about this after much rambling with her about them. So I highly recommend checking those out if you're interested in this idea.

So, basically, in addition to the list up there? You could add that my particular Reeve is also suffering from some serious emotional turmoil regarding the "deaths" of Reactors 1 and 5 as well as Cait Sith the First. Those aren't just moments of, "oh it's tragic these people died," or "oh shoot, I lost one of my robots," for him.

He literally lived through their deaths.

Now. Let's move on from my headcanons regarding this ability and let's talk about Reeve's problem.

Broken pieces of a barely breathing story Where there once was love Now there's only me and the lonely Dancing slowly in an empty room Can the lonely take the place of you? I sing myself a quiet lullaby Let you go and let the lonely in To take my heart again

-- "The Lonely," by Christina Perri. In particular with this song, the "you" that I imagine it being focused on is Midgar, not a person.

Reeve's Timeline Shenanigans

All right, back to Reeve's profile from the 10th Anniversary Ultimania:

Involved in the construction of Midgar from the very beginning, he watches over the town’s development like that of a child.

And from the Final Fantasy VII Complete Dismantled True Story (which while "official" is not necessary "canon" per the development team):

A capable engineer closely involved in the design and construction of the two-tiered city of Midgar and its eight mako reactors.

Now, unfortunately, Reeve's profile doesn't often get translated in other ultimanias-- or at least, not in places I've been able to find-- so we're kind of stuck with just these two interpretations of this side of him. Still, it's pretty clear, right? He was involved in the construction of Midgar from the beginning. Even in the Dismantled True Story version, he's closely involved in the design and construction.

It also mentions that he's 35 (like Barret) in the original game. Since the game takes place in 0007, we can say pretty confidently that he was born in '72; same year as Barret, for those who don't trust my math.

Now, let's look at Midgar's timeline, shall we?

From the 10th Anniversary Timeline:

[ μ ] – εуλ 9/23/1959 (48 years before FFVII) · Shin-Ra Works (later the Shin-Ra Company) discovers mako energy [ μ ] – εуλ 1/9/1968 · Construction begins in Nibelheim on the first in a series of power generation facilities, “mako reactors” for the purpose of extracting mako. [ μ ] – εуλ 6/24/1976 · Construction of the mako city, Midgar, begins. The Shin-Ra company relocates its headquarters to Midgar.

... Interesting. Okay. What about other timelines? Well, let's look at the Crisis Core Ultimania's Timeline:

[ μ ] – εуλ 9/23/1959 · Shin-Ra Works (later the Shin-Ra Company) discovers mako energy. [ μ ] – εуλ 6/24/1976 · Construction of the mako city, Midgar, begins. The Shin-Ra company relocates its headquarters to Midgar.

Now, this does change a bit in the Remake Ultimania's Timeline, from what I understand. They push Midgar's construction date back to 1969, per the FFVII Timeline, which for the record I like because they source all their dates wherever possible. However, I haven't really dug into the Remake stuff yet because it's my understanding that the Remake is the Compilation in a blender, so just because something is true in the Remake doesn't make it true in other aspects of canon (for example, they adjusted the ages of Rufus and the Turks, to make Rufus clearly older/same age as them, whereas he was always younger in the original canon).

Anyway, the issue with this timeline is this: Reeve's four when they start building Midgar. How involved is he in this construction project?

Now, over the years, I've seen a few interesting takes on how to handle this.

One, people just completely disregard it. Which, fair. It's an ultimania canon note, not something from in-game, but I always find it interesting when people say, disregard these dates but are happy to accept say, dates regarding the Nibelheim project as gospel from the same sources. But hey, I cherry pick canon too, so who am I to complain, right?

Two, people go with the architect of Midgar being another R. Tuesti (probably Reeve's father is the most common headcanon), and over the years, his work has been conflated with Reeve's own until people just forget that Reeve himself couldn't have been the one to do it.

Now, my personal headcanon-- which I am absolutely detailing because you asked me about why WRO Reeve breaks my heart, and I swear all of this is tied into that original question-- is that Reeve's father was the original engineer who developed the Nibelheim reactor. He was also slated to be the lead engineer on managing the complicated network of the eight (nine, technically, at least during construction, but who's counting?) reactors in Midgar. Except when Reeve was about five, he died in an accident. Probably in a reactor, let's be honest.

And when the Turks (and because it's my headcanon and I can, the Turks in question are Veld and Vincent) are sent to pick up Papa Tuesti's notes from his widow so that the other engineers can try to make sense of them, they discover that the five-year-old can decipher his father's unlabeled diagrams. So they take the boy with them to the Shinra Manor in Junon where the President pays to have him formally educated and put to work deciphering these diagrams and notes to ensure that the Midgar project goes as planned.

Of course, being brought up to be this engineer means that Reeve has access to basically the best level of education possible. So yes, he's deciphering his father's notes, but very quickly, he's improving them. And that, my friends, is why he ends up as Head of Urban Development. Because the simple fact is, he's been brought up for this, raised and trained to President Shinra's exact specifications of what he wants in a city.

Now, once again, all of that is just my personal headcanon, and I can't even cite some of my old sources because I just cannot find them anymore. So take this or leave it, it's where I sit on it.

That also means that he was brought up in the same house as (although almost certainly very separated from) Rufus. There's a ten year difference between them, of course, so it wasn't like they were close, but there's certainly room for some... understanding between them. If anyone understands how the President was (who canonically was extremely abusive towards Rufus per On the Way to a Smile: Case of Shinra).

Now, how does all of this tie into WRO Reeve breaking my heart?

Well, per my headcanon, Midgar is literally his life's work. It's his father's legacy and it is the city he has poured his entire life into, and it's gone. At the end of the original game, it's gone, and he has to look at her dead carcass on the horizon every time he is in Edge.

He was fashioned into the engineer who builds cities and lives and fantasies-- the floating city, remember?-- and he was desperately just trying to survive the President's reign of terror under the hope that Rufus would be better (I can't find a copy of the source quote in Before Crisis, but it's mentioned on his Ultimania profile). And suddenly...

It's all gone.

I am the son And the heir Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar I am the son and heir Of nothing in particular

-- "How Soon Is Now," by the Smiths, but the AG cover.

So. If you've made it through all of this, I just. I have a lot of feels about Reeve Tuesti in general, and in particular, in what state he's probably in after Meteorfall. I guess this is what happens when you've been writing him for 20-some-odd years. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The long and short of it is this: Reeve is an incredibly underrated character, and he's so often sadly overlooked by fandom, and he just... he's been through so much by the time he's head of the WRO. I can't help but think that he's got to be so worn down by it all. It's hard, saving the world, especially in a position like he's in.

He is, after all, the only man in the world who betrayed Shinra twice and lived.

But he's also the man who built the world's largest, most complicated city, and he's a man who has survived losing everything.

And what did he do the next morning?

He went to work.

You wanna take a drink of that promise land You gotta wipe the dirt off of your hands Careful son, you got dreamer's plans But it gets hard to stand Soldier keep on marchin' on Head down 'til the work is done Waiting on that morning sun Soldier keep on marchin' on

-- "Soldier," by Tommee Profitt

[mythicandco]

A Dark And Stormy Night

tw for minor body horror

it's a dark and stormy night.

to be entirely honest, it's cliche. it knows it's cliche, but it's all it can think, looking out the window. raindrops patter against its face and it winces, closing its eyes a little.

the already black sky is completely logged with clouds, lightning illuminating the darkness in spite of stars. it feels something uncomfortable shift in its ribs and grimaces, altering its position in the passenger seat to make up for it.

he glances over at it, looks away again. it doesn't blame him, imagines how it must look now. it notes quietly he doesn't have a rearview mirror or any on either side of the car- that's stupid, and dangerous, but it would also be stupid and dangerous to have them.

he doesn't tell it to roll the window up, but it does after a moment anyways. guilt drags heavy on its bones and skin, and the last thing it wants is to get the inside of his car wet.

it opens its mouth, finds its tongue and teeth aren't in the right positions, and closes it again. if it talks, it'll come out wrong. it doesn't want to make him any more uneasy than it already has.

"you alright over there, kid?" he doesn't take his eyes off the road when he finally breaks the sound of tires on wet asphalt, rain on the metal roof of the vehicle. "I mean, as alright as the circumstances can allow, obviously."

the engine hums in both their bones. bones that click into place. tendons that quietly shift under skin. minds that slowly meld into one. the catalyst was the spark. it's only a matter of time now before it all goes up in a burning inferno of hell.

why did you help me.

it puts a hand over its mouth, but that doesn't stop the sound, if you could even call it that. it isn't... physical, like vibrations from vocal chords. it's something tinged with static, something that curls around the edges of his already-curdling psyche. he winces, and it feels more guilty.

"I don't know," Thatcher admits at length, tapping out an uneasy rhythm on the steering wheel. "you're a kid. you deserve better than that."

it swallows thickly, bleach still burning the nerves behind its eyes. he'd expected it to kill him, but instead it just ate away at all the soft tissue until there was nothing human left but the murky red puddle at its feet. that's why it's an it, not a he.

I'm a monster.

Thatcher lets out a weak chuckle that gives way to a wet-sounding cough. "aren't we all?"

you have no idea how true that is about to be. it hisses and bangs a fist on the center console, startled into speaking out loud. the words are distorted and feel wrong and don't sound like a voice so much as a machine trying to replicate one, but at least they're real. "sh-shit. I didn't mean to-"

"I get it. I get it, it's okay." he doesn't understand what it just said, but he also does, in a way. he can feel it burrowing into the back of his mind, too. he's had MAD for a long time now. "listen. I've been living with that kind of shit for years now. you're not trying to hurt anyone, and as long as you aren't, nothing you say will affect me. alright?"

it nods weakly, feeling sick. half-melted vocal chords strain to get words out. "I'm sorry."

"don't be. it's not your fault."

but it is. I'm the catalyst. everyone is fucked over and it is very much my fault.

Thatcher glares over at it, and it flinches back. he immediately pulls back, mutters an apology of his own. "don't say things like that. if anyone's to blame, it's me. there are at least four people dead because of things I didn't do to protect them. you never asked for any of this, it was all laid out for you before you were even- born, or whatever. but I had it coming."

it closes its eyes again. I want my mommy.

he pauses, processing that. after a minute, he gives up. there's not much to say.

"we'll be back at my place soon. just gotta hold on until then, okay?"

"...okay."

it turns its eyes back outside. it's a dark and stormy night.

[beansmack2021]

Baby's First Demon

TW: threats, possession, blood, knife, demon purposely injuring a host body

"Aw! Baby's first demon!" Dean laughed from the driver's seat of his '67 Chevy Impala. He drummed on the wheel to the beat of the song playing on the radio.

"Hey! It's not my fault! You're the one who'd only let me go on a hunt if it was just gonna be a salt and burn." You pouted, crossing your arms, but that only made your brothers laugh more. "You're 14. Way too young to be hunting demons." Sam peered over his shoulder at you.

"Now hang on, Sammy. Don't go getting all hypocritical on the kid. You helped us with a couple of black-eyes when you were 9." Before you could even open your mouth to say something about what you'd just learned, Dean glanced at you in the rearview mirror. You could only see his eyes, but that told you enough about how the rest of his face would read. "You shouldn't be involved with the family business at all. Period. 'Course, you're stubborn as all hell, so it's not like we can stop you from going out and doing it on your own if we told you no."

You grinned sheepishly. You knew your brothers had your best interest at heart. You also knew that they would lose their minds if something happened to you. Even though you wanted to move on to bigger, badder things, you'd have to go the pace they'd set for you or Dean would drink away his dispair and Sammy would have an aneurysm.

"Should just be the one, but if things get sticky, get yourself out of there. Got it?" Sam asked the question, but Dean's eyes were the ones that seemed to bore into your own as he put the car in park.

"Don't try to play some sort of hero, Bug. Dean and I, we've been doing this a while. Even we don't always know what to expect." This was a plea and a warning. They couldn't guarantee that they'd be able to get you out if things went wrong. If someone was hurt (or worse), the others wouldn't be able to do much for them. If one thing could be said about the Winchesters, it'd be that they're all a bunch of self-sacrficing assholes.

You climbed out of the car, trying to close the door quietly enough so there wasn't a chance the demon would have heard you. Dean gave you one last look that said "If you die, I'll kill you" and handed you a gun and a flask of holy water.

The building was very, very old, the steps creaking as the three of you made your way to the door. Dean pushed it open slowly with his foot, both hands on his gun. You felt as though you were inhaling a cloud of dust as you followed behind him, reciting the Latin your brothers had made you memorize before you were allowed to come on this hunt to yourself.

After several minutes of searching and silence, Dean dropped his hands to his side. "I guess it's not here."

"Maybe it heard us coming and went out the back" you offered. You'd wished that was the case as something dripped onto your face from above. You slowly looked up and felt your heart plummet as you were met with a wide, toothy grin and a pair of pitch black eyes. You shrieked as it dropped, taking you to the floor and pinning you beneath itself. You struggled to keep the knife it was trying to plunge into your chest back, panicking as you tried to shout out the incantation to exorcize the demon.

"Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus-" the demon moved one hand from the hilt of the knife it was holding and tried to cover your mouth. You heard gunshots and felt the cold and clammy host body go limp on top of you.

----------------------------------------------------------

"Hey! Hey, kiddo! You okay?" Dean helped you push the heavy, dead body off of yourself and was relieved that you seemed alright, at least physically. Your face crumpled and you started crying as Dean pulled you to your feet and into his arms. You shook for a moment, your sobs getting louder and louder, and then suddenly becoming wicked cackling.

Dean pulled away, confusion etched into every part of his face. You were looking down at the blade in your hand, pointed at your own stomach. "Y/N?" You slowly met his gaze, your eyes completely black and your grin sinister as you titled your head to one side. Dean pointed his gun at you, or rather, the demon possessing you, but the demon just tutted. "Dean, I think you and I both know you could never shoot Bug, here."

"Exorcizamus-" Sam could barely get the word out before the demon slowly started to push the tip of the blade into your abdomen. It hissed a bit in pain. "Ah ah, Sammy. You try to get rid of me, and I kill her." His jaw clenched as he closed his mouth. He looked at Dean, waiting to see what the next move would be.

"What do you want from us?" Dean had lowered his gun, slowly twisting the cap to his own flask of holy water. "Suffering" the demon hissed out. "You Winchesters have caused a lot of problems for us down in Hell. Now it's time to even the score." The demon slowly moved the blade up to your face, running it across your cheek. You grimaced, and then the demon smirked.

"She's awake, by the way. She can feel, hear, see and even smell everything. Including this" without warning, the demon plunged the knife into your thigh. You screamed. "Dean! It hurts!" The demon forced your face into another smile, forcing you back into the recesses of your own consciousness.

"You son of a bitch! Leave her alone or I swear to God-" Dean took a step forward and the demon held up the knife again. "You swear to God what? You'll kill me? Send me straight back to Hell? I've already accepted that I'll probably be gone when this is said and done, but at least I'll be taking one of the infamous Winchesters with me. The baby, no less!"

Dean pulled the flask from his back pocket, dousing the demon in holy water as Sam restarted the incantation. It hissed in pain, but just before Sam could finish chanting, the demon slammed the knife into your abdomen. "No!"

Black smoke poured from your mouth and was sent through the floor, charring the wood, and you collapsed. Dean scooped you up into his arms almost as quickly as you hit the ground, putting pressure on the stab wound. "De" you coughed out some blood. "De, I'm scared." Dean cursed. "I know, Baby. I know you're scared, but I need you to stay with me, okay?" He silently started praying to anyone or anything. He begged Castiel to show up, to help you. Nothing.

"Alright, we need to get you out of here. Find somewhere to patch you up." Before Dean could stand up with you, Sam put a hand on his shoulder and shook his head. "She's not gonna make it, Dean" he mumbled, a tear rolling down his cheek. "Don't say that. Don't fucking say that! She has to."

You coughed again, slowly raising a shaky hand. You put one hand on his cheek, the other on his chin, just as you did when you were a baby. You smiled weakly, blood dribbling down your chin. "I love you" you rasped out. Dean shook his head. "Quit acting like this is goodbye. You're gonna be fine, Squirt." You shook your head sadly, a tear dripping from his chin onto your face. "Not this time. I love you, Sammy." Sam inhaled sharply. "I love you, too, Honey." You smiled and looked Dean directly in the eyes. "I love you, Dean." Dean was silent for a three count before he let out a sob. "I love you, too, Baby." You sighed one last time, closing your eyes, and went limp in Dean's arms.

[kazumahashimoto]

all my ff7 rebirth thoughts i can remember upon a first watch, split into good and bad

THE GOOD:

-AERITH'S DAMN SONG IS REALLY GOOD IT'S BEEN STUCK IN MY HEAD. I CRIED.

-both gold saucer dates with aerith were really good. cloud instantly following aerith's bit with the announcer voice shocked me so bad i started crying just a little it was so fucking cute 😭 and i think they did the conversation about zack really well!!!! i like it. i really liked how they traded off helping each other get on/off. very sweets.

-there was a scene like somewhat early on i think with aerith cloud and nanaki where aerith tries to get him to let her touch his paws cos she thinks they'll be soft and he says no. aerith tries to get cloud on her side and he says “i mean, i am curious” I LOVE how he follows her bits. IT'S SO CUTE. HE'S SO SILLY AROUND HER.

-in nanaki's date the paws thing gets referenced with cloud shaking his paw and saying “woah, they are soft” i love a callback. cloud silly moments

-barret saying in-kweh-dible

-CAIT SITH IS SO CUTE. I'M SO JEALOUS OF HIM. HE'S SO CUTE. it is unfortunately tainted by the fact they chose to mispronounced his name however.

-yuffie pretending to hit barret and barret pretending to be hit 😭<3

-BARRET’S STORY WAS DONE PERFECT. i was crying so bad. the visuals, the voice acting, the writing, it was all there. i'm so so glad they stuck the landing with this one.

-VOICE ACTING MOSTLY GOOD. nothing was so terrible i was actively pulling my hair out while it happened like with reunion, so i'm pleased. cody christian has definitely improved since last time too he's kinda lost that awkward disjointed manner of speaking sentences, which i'll always have a fondness for but he really did an incredible job here. i really like the main remake cast's new voices!!! i know the recast wasn't received well by everybody but i really think they're all doing great. the only people i really struggle with are zack, and recently reno? he sounds off. he was lacking whimsy. though we don't see him too much here anyway so shrug. ALSO I REALLY LIKED ELENA'S VOICE. i'm not sure familiar with elena as a character so i can't speak much on how she was being characterized here, but i LOVED what the actress was doing. i love all her inflections. she was always very petulant and cocky and she felt perhaps younger than she actually is? but i think that's what they were going for with her being new. anyway she was a standout for me in terms of new voices for this game.

-aerith says “for real? awesome!” at one point and while i HATE that they changed that line in reunion, the fact that aerith is mimicking zack drives me insane. she says for real at least one more time after this too i love it. i can't remember every instance of her mimicking zack but just assume i got a kick out of all of them

-cloud aerith date after falling into the pit, “you don't look like you're on a date… more like, ‘at a funeral’.” what if i died? what if i blew up right here?

-”cloud…[...]aerith… how the hell am i supposed to choose?” zack so close to realizing he can have them both

-zack cloud and aerith all being alive in the same room together for the first time and two of them are unconscious made me laugh. i stay losing i love it (genuinely it's funny i think it's good that they died ect)

-OH ZACK THROWING A FUCKING LAMP POST OR WHATEVER INTO A HELICOPTER WITHIN THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES OF THE VIDEO GAME HAD ME SCREAMING THAT SHIT WAS SO FUNNY. LIKE GODDAMN. ALRIGHT. WORK.

-”alright. follow my lead.” “look at you takin charge! i like it!” my essay in why zack is submissive,

-AERITH HUGGING CAIT. WWEWEWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

-”QUESTION. am i a dumbass?” “i'm cetra! am i intolerant?” i love you girl.

-cloud junior reminds me of the quaxly i named cloud jr. who was birthed by my friend's quaquaval cloud strife

-blanket statement i love all of cloud and aerith's interactions really i do. even if the plot was annoying me i must admit to enjoying all their cute smiles at each other. real cute. THEY MAKE GREAT GIFSETS !

-WE ARE IN THE FUCKING CLEAR. ANGEAL STAYED DEAD. PHEW.

-zack was looking at a notice board in the slums and there was a banora white poster directly next to his head

-the end scene was real fucking cute. i love a call back. ending on cloud's dumb smiley face and “you promise?” “promise.” AWAYUGH. i like them. they're sweets.

THE BAD:

-zack. oh girl. like, admittedly i was already coming to this from the perspective of “zack lives doesn't need to be canon”, but even STILL. god THEY FUCKED IT. now let me defend my initial stance here too. zack has no narrative purpose being alive in the canon story of ff7. the story of ff7 is already a complete one full of characters that each play their own role in how things turn out in the end. zack has his role. he's there to be cloud’s SOLDIER friend he looked up to, one that saved his life and brought him where he is now. his character gets expanded in crisis core, but ultimately he's still there to die. his role is to be dead. and, looking to crisis core, he gets a full story as well. it's not to say he has no room left to grow, theoretically, but WHAT would his purpose be in the canon story of ff7 if he still lived? here the thing. fanfiction does not need to be canon. fanfic and aus and headcanons are great, they're a wonderful tool to flesh out characters more, get in their heads, it's a chance to explore “what if”s. but they don't need to be canon. just because you like a character and want to see them more does not mean they'd serve an actual narrative purpose in the canon material. there's nothing zack could really offer here, in my opinion, and clearly the writers agree because they didn't give him shit to do.

everytime we skip back over to zack, he isn't doing anything. he's looking over cloud, looking over aerith, he's talking to marlene, to biggs, to elmyra, about NOTHING. “hopes, dreams maybe? something like that.” marlene gives him Weird predictions of the future, which changes nothing. he gives biggs a pep talk, which does nothing. honestly it feels like they were just trying to buy time until they could try and prod some jealousy out of him over cloud and aerith and then the final team up with cloud against sephiroth. and they couldn't even keep him IN CHARACTER the entire time.

i have my small gripes. zack so nonchalantly messing up an angeal speech (which he should have absolutely drilled in his head at this point. hah, one of THOSE, huh.) irks me. i still don't think caleb's voice really suits him, though it was much better this time around. i think zack not realizing that there's literally no way biggs could have possibly met cloud is stupid. but the worst, the most egregious bit of mischaracterization i have ever seen, is marlene telling zack he needs to make cloud better so he can protect aerith, and zack deciding to go to hojo. are you… fucking. kidding me? zack's internal clock is messed up. sure, okay, that doesn't stop him from remembering aerith's letter where she tells him he's been gone for FOUR YEARS. GETTING EXPERIMENTED ON IN A BASEMENT. WITH CLOUD. BY HOJO. and then he just, shows up! he shows up, and he says, “pretty sure i only asked to meet hojo, not a whole platoon.” he says, “whatever. the world's about to end anyway.” do they think he's fucking stupid? do they think he's dumb? do they think zack is so, what, cocky? so sure of himself? that he can’t possibly find all the very obvious flashing warning signs that that idea makes no fucking sense? you expect me to believe zack would just go back? that he'd even consider it? that he'd put his life, CLOUD'S LIFE, AERITH'S LIFE, at risk like that? like i'm speechless. what are they DOING to him? what did this even MEAN for his character? so he finds out aerith has a thing for cloud. he stands next to cloud for a minute. he leaves. what did this add? what did this even set up? nothing. zack being alive had zero impact on the story, so why keep him around to begin with?

-on the topic of biggs, biggs! he also had no fucking purpose! and he won't shut up about it either! survivor's guilt, oh sure, but when he starts waxing poetic about how he doesn't know why he was saved, all i can think is well of course they picked you, the other choices were a woman and a fat guy. no fucking wonder they went with you. AND THEN HE DIES WITHOUT HAVING DONE ANYTHING. he literally added NOTHING to the story. him and zack are just there for hungry fans to point and go LOOK, LOOK! MY FAVORITE IS HERE AGAIN! WE’RE EATING GOOD CRUMBS TONIGHT!

-cissnei. when i tell you cissnei was the literal only new potential plotline i was looking forward to going into this, i mean that fully. and you know what? i got baited. i, too, got baited with look, look, my favorite is here again. i thought of so many different ways cissnei could impact the story, based on the short clip we got from the last trailer, with her saying “it's you!” i thought, cissnei is the only person left who knew zack and cloud simultaneously while they were both alive, besides tifa who's keeping quiet and sephiroth who's fucking with cloud on purpose. this could be so interesting. she recognized him! i'm enthralled. i get to gongaga, cissnei shows up near immediately, and she says, “wait, it's you! oh, i thought you were someone else.” and they move on. it's never brought up again. like. really? really? “i thought you were someone else.” who in the WORLD else could he possibly be. cissnei sees this scrawny, short little “ex soldier first class” running around with the dumbest, FAMOUSLY, CANONICALLY, FREQUENTLY BROUGHT UP IN THIS VERY GAME, ICONIC hair style, and she says “i thought you were someone else.” I DON'T BUY IT. CISSNEI ISN'T STUPID. like it wouldn't have even needed to change the story line. any acknowledgment that she KNOWS him would have been better than THIS. a simple “it’s you! you're still alive!” “what do you mean?” “oh, uh, i saw you on the news!” BOOM there you go, now WE know she knows him, and everyone else just thinks she recognizes him from being wanted by shinra. excellent. but, no! no in fact cissnei serves no narrative purpose beyond “oh, she fulfilled zack's wish from crisis core” and “oh, i know her!” 

-the whispers were the worst fucking thing to happen to this fucking franchise. like not only are we getting the dumb “fate” bullshit (that's just there to poke fun at all the fans that wanted remake to be the original story with updated graphics), but we're also getting lost memories! in fact, we're using the whispers as explanations for things that did not need answering from the original game now too! aerith tells tifa about her missing memories, and tifa says she thinks that must be happening to her too. and i suppose i don't doubt that, given the whispers exist in this iteration of the story, tifa would THINK that that's what's happening to her, but what bothers me is that there's an ANSWER. if you're a new fan and don't know how this goes originally, you're going to be thinking “oh, it's the whispers” too. but there was no REASON for there to BE an answer. tifa thinks she's crazy. tifa thinks SHE'S the one in the wrong here, it can't possibly be cloud, but she's SO SURE she doesn't remember him there. there's so much turmoil there, especially as more and more signs point to tifa being right. but here, the answer is whispers. alright, guess tifa's memory is just fucked cos of the whispers. nothing to do about it!

i believe, due to the fact that whispers fucking with memories is something they kept bringing up, that everytime you think “the characters should already know this at this point” the answer is whispers! isn't that fun? isn't it Fun that we're getting plot convenient memory loss on EVERYBODY? honestly by the time they added a third fucking type of whisper i was fully convinced their literal only purpose is to drive the plot in whatever direction the writers feel like at any given moment. we need this character to do x, but how? well the answer is whispers. if EVERYONE is a puppet, what makes cloud so special huh? they're all at the whispers whims. don't seem to be defying much fate right now!

-on the topic of memory loss, yeah the only reason cloud remembers zack this early is so we could get that team up at the end. it's cheap. like, in theory the way they did it makes enough sense, he sees the room at the inn and remembers that he was with someone in there. (the conversation he remembers is also grossly out of character for zack at that point and seriously misleads you on what was such a somber conversation initially but uhhhh let's call it cloud's imagination huh.) alright, he sees the river flowing down the mountain and remembers he watched someone drown, must be zack! makes sense. and then, tifa agrees? yes, he drowned. oh, we should tell aerith. we should, but let me, and let’s keep it a secret. cloud just remembered he had a best friend, he says they were so close, how could he forget, he just remembered that he watched him die. and tifa tells him to keep it a secret? like i understand WHY but isn’t that a bit rude? i don’t know that she'd actually go about it like that. regardless it's getting REAL tiring how they keep adding in scenes early. they did it with the forest scene with aerith in remake and they're doing it here too. IT'S RUINING THE NARRATIVE FLOW!!!!!!

-um. no rocket town? we get cid with no rocket town? like picking up yuffie and vinny different from the original doesn't Super bother me, i think they did it well enough that it's not really worth noting for me, but this is quite the direction for cid. they've sucked all the misogyny right out of him and took out the area where he acts the absolute worst. i've never liked cid! but this just feels like. damn they didn't even wanna TRY getting into cid keeping this woman in his house doing all his chores cos she feels indebted to him. feels a bit selective to me, they had no problem making women squeal at the thought of hojo getting them pregnant, using women as bubbly set dressing, having cloud put a dress on and pretend to be a woman to trick a man into sleeping with him. oh but, cid is just a hair too far. we still need him for the travel though, so, welcome aboard! maybe the whispers made him forget.

-OH MY GOD THEY DIDN'T HAVE CLOUD SAY “did sephiroth… do this?” LIKE!!!!!!!! dude that's like if they decided zack didn't need to say “me? gongaga” to cloud when he asks where he's from. ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

-why did they decide shinra flew tifa out to corel? shinra, who wanted no survivors after the fire. shinra, who sent a full platoon after zack to kill him after he escaped. oh, but, in this one the residents in nibelheim all know that it burnt down? nibelheim, the town that's meant to be full of actors. the residents that are supposed to tell you “what an awful thing to say” when you explain the town burned down five years ago. oh but now it's a town dedicated to helping those with mako poisoning. right.

-i know damn well a furry did not design that galian beast WHERE IS HIS FUR. WHY ARE YOU WHITE. WHY IS HE NOT OURPLE. he looks too much like vinny, which might seem like a silly complaint but given how much he usually Doesn't look like him it kind of feels like they're treating us like we're dumb, like we couldn't possibly understand that that's vinny unless it really looks like him. not a fan.

-sephiroth didn’t even chuck the materia at cloud and then do a flip and fly away. girl you're missing all your most iconic scenes. at this point cloud's not gonna say let's mosey.

-what was the point of roche if they were just gonna essentially kill him off? i hate to sound like a broken record but girl what's the point of having all these characters when they add NOTHING. AND THEN THEY DIE.

-alright i wasn't playing the video game so maybe this was actually INCREDIBLY COMPELLING GAMEPLAY but why were half the puzzles in every area “move a big box very slowly to a location” like. damn no wonder they put that thing in the demo you're gonna be doing it in every area for the next 20 hours

-good christ the ending was so convoluted and confusing. i already don't really care for timeline convergences as a plot point, so of course this really isn’t for me, but even still it was so frustrating and hard to follow. and i think they wanted it to be that way, but that doesn't make it interesting? that doesn't make it thought provoking or compelling, it makes it frustrating and hard to follow. AND MEANINGLESS. AERITH STILL DIED. like they keep going on and on about defying fate, doing whatever, they're taking charge of destiny and whatever. oh, here comes zack to help us fight. and he’s gone. oh, here comes aerith to help us fight, and we're mourning. not cloud though! i really don't get it.

-aerith DIES!!!!!!!! THIS IS A GOOD THING I WAS WORRIED THEY'D PUSSY OUT. and well they kinda did! we don't get the iconic scene of cloud putting her in the water? like her materia falls into the water OK but that's it. it's just cloud holding her and he tells her to wake up and she does and they smile. i tell ya what, it makes a real pretty gifset! and that's it!

-really and truly what bothers me the most about this all is that to so many people, THIS is what the story of ff7 is. to many new fans, this is the only version that matters. they don't care to go back and see what originally happened because the game is old and looks “bad”. no one's getting mad at dissidia for not following exact canon and keeping everyone alive. it's not a matter of everything needing to be 100% accurate all the time. it's the fact that this IS the story of final fantasy 7 in current times. this is what people are currently viewing as default. but it's fucking up the storyline, plot progression, narrative flow, characterization, character importance. and for what? a story that's nearly impossible for someone to fully understand without having prior knowledge of the original, and adds a plot device that mocks fans that just wanted the original's story with updated graphics? that's what bothers me most.

[silver-wield]

A japanese account I'm ff is cracking me up. Saying if the aerith who is smiling at the flower is a back stabbing bish, then her smile in part 1 is psychopathic. And anybody enjoying that "concept" are people who only enjoy cheap daytime dramas. Since her reputation in OG is already questionable, this time it could be worse because they're trying to paint her as this "good friend" to both tifa and cloud whom she knows full well are into eachother. I think it's mostly women who notice that perhaps? A lot didn't remember aerith's toxic personality in OG so they don't understand why some are worried if SE will disrespect the characters even more.. I also don't want tifa to look like a doormat who accepts anything simply because she's too pure and kind. Soldier cloud is also pitiful because I'm sure he doesn't want to be in any other situation other than with tifa. The game will come out very close already, I'll see what's up. But I can concur w/o a doubt, that regardless of what aerith does, she won't be given a good light. She may use soldier cloud as therapy then get back to zack later. Yet that only hurts all the other three. Also make those who "like" her, who self insert themselves in the game, hate her. Devs should clarify in gongaga what's up with her. I also don't want her to make a pact with tifa like they're "friendly rivals" because wtf hell no.

Only thing I can say is, SE, it's obvious you have difficulty dealing with her incomplete character in OG, wanting to expand that. But this isn't a way to do it. Give her her "role", and this ain't it. While the world is dying, why would i care about the love life of a woman who's about to die and has zero to do with the story? Focus on the planet! Even tifa doesn't do that, she's currently only looking after cloud w/o taking advantage of him. Pssh and they call some of us tifa fans sleeping on aerith's story when she should wake up first! 😡.

Srry for the rant. Reading that jp account's thoughts, I really don't want a messy story. Soldier and Real Cloud are both devoted only to Tifa and I want Tifa to have better friends!

Seems like from a man's pov it's not bad to have women being two faced bitches because they're fighting over a man and that strokes his ego, but for all the women players, which is such a bigger amount than SE realises, it's fucking disgusting and we want nothing to do with characters or storylines like that. It doesn't make us sympathetic to Aerith because oh no she sad so she should hug a man who ain't hers, it makes us want to put her in a rocket and blast her into the sun.

SE and the devs need to understand we don't want that shit.

Side note, I'm really looking forward to Aerith dying so I don't have to put up with her annoying whiny voice or fake ass singing voice in part three.

[ihopethisendswell]

I've been thinking about dnd a lot. I miss it, and right now I'm rotating my hand elf paladin Moss and my unnamed Tiefling warlock in my head.

Moss is already in a game but we haven't played in a long while. I miss her. I like her character - amnesiac who is confused but got spirit. Genuinely a sweet and kind person that wants to see the best in others, but knows when to pick up a sword - and while the paladin class has A Lot, it's sooo fun and is honestly kinda my perfect balance of what I like? I like doing big close up damage but also having some spells on the side( I tried multi classing once. Not for me, too much information to keep track of-). I have to get used to the fact that I am, in fact, not a squishy bard but rather a tank that will most likely be taking hits for everyone lol.

My Tiefling warlock oc was pretty much made bc I was missing Moss and I wanted her to have a foil. Warlock is pretty much Moss' opposite? Kinda? Paladin vs Warlock, Moss is pretty optimistic all things considered, Warlock is much more cynical. Moss is more than willing to help those in need, Warlock is often out for herself. Moss doesn't really know her purpose ( amnesia), Warlock knows what she wants and is willing to do anything to get it. Basically sunshine and storm clouds lol. I don't see Warlock as evil per say, just someone who is headstrong and believes she has to only look out for herself.

Whenever I think of the two, it's usually in tandem with each other? Despite me not even knowing Moss' deal ( I left it in the hands of my DM) and I. Can't really play Warlock now can I? But I still end up thinking of them as like. Childhood friends that got separated by circumstances or something. Warlock has always had a kill or be killed mentality ( thanks to her family) but has a big ol soft spot for Moss despite Moss not exactly fitting into her own plans. No, it does not hurt when Moss doesn't recognize who she is, thank you very much.

Also, and this is very important, they're both sword fighters! Cause of course they are, what type of doomed(????) yuri wouldn't have sword fights. Moss, as a paladin, generally carries and sword and shield of reasonable bulk. Warlock on the other hand I imagine carrying a saber, I think it's called? Those things swords that look elegant and good for fast movements. Think Weiss from RWBY ( heh. I think if I just said that before, I wouldn't have to explain Warlock huh lmaoooo. I think even her design in my head is pretty much akin to Weiss in some ways). Warlock is a spell caster first and foremost but I imagine she grew up in a family that made sure she knew how to wield a sword before anything else. I've always seen Warlock as more nimble in comparison to Moss. I know I say multi classing isn't for me, but I can see her at least being a rogue too.

So. Basically. Moss is a Redemption Paladin ( this might change but I felt it fits her character) and Warlock is a Hexblade warlock ( and maybe rogue but I'm not 100% sure)

Also to be clear: I haven't played Warlock at all. She's just an oc in my head right now. And I don't even know if she'll be able to be connected to Moss, since Moss themself has a lot going on. But I still adore them, and I should really give Warlock a name. Also Moss isn't Moss' real name, it's just the first thing she saw upon waking up in the campaign she was in and she couldn't remember her real name ( which honestly doesn't feel like her name anymore anyway so.). Her name is Moss.