#also does anybody else even have these
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Marriagetoxin Pop-up Report
Hey tiny Marriagetoxin fandom! Today I’m going to do a recap of the special pop-up shop available in Tokyo from August 2nd-September 1st 2024
What is Tsutaya? It’s a big bookstore chain in Japan. They often do collabs or promotional events. So I went, but couldn’t find any anything? Maybe because it was the busy Shibuya location. Anyway, changed locations and…
Finally! Found lots of merch, for many series, some well-known and some obscure for western fandom. But…couldn’t find any Marriagetoxin? Had to ask an employee. Thankfully eventually found it-
Ta-da! It was on the reverse side of a display rack. 😅 Kinda shady tbh. I was a bit sad that people walking by couldn’t casually discover it or something…
Anyway here’s the merch offerings: tote bag, mini posters (3-pack), pencil holder stand, randomized panel cards, etc.
Even mugs!!! (for all your poison brewing needs)
This was my ending haul! Didn’t get the mug even though I was tempted to. 😭 Hopefully it helped show some support at least
Now let’s check those randomized pulls!
I got Kinosaki during the chp 1 ‘confession’ scene, and Ureshino during her cooldown chp. Haha I’m happy with these. Was hoping for the Teruaki panel but they’re still nice! Good quality with clear raised plastic cover
Oh also got these paper panel cards as a free bonus 🥰
And that was the Marriagetoxin pop-up shop! Some good finds and fun merch offerings. Hopefully there will be other events in the future, for more people to enjoy ☠️ ❤️ 🌹
#Marriagetoxin#Marriage Toxin#yes capitalism is bad but consider: it's pretty and I like them#also does anybody else even have these#gero#hikaru gero#kinosaki#mei kinosaki#@pneu come get ur juice it's ur girl
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gojo would kill your work husband. but if he were the work husband, that's a different story
REAL!! he’s such a hypocrite because if someone mentioned you had a work husband, his entire world would stop and he wold devise the absolute worst plans to make sure that your co-worker, everyone at your job, and everyone in the next building over knew that he was happily committed to you
but if he is the work husband, he’s very........ dutiful in his role. there’s a loose office/lawyer au in my head where satoru is your secretary, and for all intents and purposes, your personal assistant, and he’s good at his job, but mostly because he considers his job to be pleasing you. he has coffee for you when you arrive, he moves your schedule around without you asking, he has answers to questions before you can even ask them, he has fresh flowers on your desk weekly, pokes into your meetings to pretend to hand you a file that’s really just maybe a single document in a manilla folder with candy on top of it—he’s made himself your business, your partner; he’s made himself irreplaceable, and he loves to remind everybody of that fact.
he’s also extremely loyal. sure, he could day a week’s worth of work done in about a day, but that doesn’t mean he’ll just use his talents for anybody. he’s your secretary, so he’s at your beck and call, and everyone knows it. they know he’s the best, but also that he’s off limits—not because you won’t share him, but because satoru won’t let himself be shared.
he also extends his duties beyond work, of course. when he hands you a print out of your schedule for the day and you’re confused by the three-hour block of time you have in the middle of the day, satoru just helps you shrug your coat of your shoulders and smiles, “that’s for the lunch date you have with me, of course!” hanging up your coat in your closet for you, “i’m paying, see you soon, sweets.” and because you’re great at your job, and satoru helps you be great, nobody really questions when the two of you have time for a 13-course tasting menu at 1pm on a tuesday afternoon. and if they did, all satoru would say that you two had a lovely date
#anonymous#he's like donna from suits but worse because he's like if harvey were donna LOL#i have soooooo much to say about him#he doesn't really Have to work he's a nepotism baby supreme#but he met you maybe in undergrad? and he's been obsessed w you since#he knows youre a workaholic so he's dutifully sat by your side all these years through college through grad/professional school#and when you told him you got to hire your own assistant he was the very first applicant#because getting paid to spend his days with you and take care of you? he was already doing that for free might as well make it official#everyone in the office knows satoru loves you except you honestly#he probably has his own masters/JD but elects to be your assistant anyway bc that's so much more fun#what he Really wants to be a househusband but first he's gotta ask you out and propose and all that good stuff (cue him rolling his eyes#and going on about formalities and boring systems and blah blah blah)#also in the office au in my head: nanami (also senior partner) higuruma ofc <3 beloved (managing partner) and TOJI!#WALK WITH ME!#its honestly probably satoru's influence that gets toji into law... as someone who so feverently broke it in the past#idk maybe there's a megumi situation that makes gojo be like yk if ur this good at skirting/breaking the law youd probably be half decent#at enforcing it... or at least helping other people get around it too#and so lawyer toji is born#does he screw around w the rich people who r stupid w their money? absolutely#but you nanami and higuruma just let it be bc he brings in those settlements better than anybody else....#hmmm... i kinda wanna make megumi somebody's associate but also..... yuuta.....#i think i just like sticking yuuta in a tie if im being real#but anyway... satoru is your Work Husband and everyone knows he wants to be your real husband#but they just let it slide bc rumour has it even tho hes just a secretary hes got equity in the firm?? and besides that his heart eyes give#away his hopeless devotion from a mile away#the day you actually start seeing somebody outside of work... oh theyre in for Trouble#satoru x reader#him dragging you out of ur office late at night and u protesting so he just. puts u over his shoulder#and ur telling him to let u down but he's insisting u go home and then nanami pops out of his office#and ur like wait nanami this isnt what it looks like but he's so dead in the eyes when he just sighs
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(ln8 spoilers) jinshi thinking except for my godly looks i am just average and then his smartass goes and kills around five birds with just one brand. someone whose status is so high that even his name can't be said by anyone except the emperor jinshi branded himself with the crest of the empress vowing loyalty to her assuring her he doesn't wants to take the place of her son. one-upping his "bro" with this who refuses to let him leave the line of succession wouldn't let him become a commoner doesn't wants to let him become a servant to the royal family. only slaves get branded and if this ever got out there will be chaos in the court. gyokuyou tho considers jinshi like a brother and he did swear loyalty to her but if she ever tried to cross his family her clan's brand on his body would be enough to prove her as an adultress which would be bad for her and her clan.
and jinshi did this in front of these two people and maomao so now she is the only one who can see him naked and the emperor cannot order him to marry anyone which was something that was definitely gonna happen had he not done what he did. as a bonus he gets to spend more time with maomao after a long time and he did all this while saying the exact words: empress gyokuyou, your enemy i shall never be in front of maomao reassuring her because she once muttered i don't want to be an enemy to empress gyokuyou and he had heard her but before he could tell her that he had no intention of doing that either he couldn't because of the lishu incident. one of the major reasons maomao hadn't accepted her own feelings for jinshi one of the obstacles he promised to remove for her. even though he doesn't even know that maomao's concerns about her becoming gyokuyou's enemy had to do with his birth secret his true status. that no matter what he is the rightful successor. something jinshi himself isn't even aware of and yet without knowing that he did this to deal with it all in a single way most preferable to him: masochism
#(this is very messily worded but hey this time there's a paragraph break at least)#kusuriya no hitorigoto#the apothecary diaries#light novel#jinshi#no maomao doesn't think that jinshi is stupid or that has no critical thinking skills and like ?????#my guy has self-esteem issues yes but he is smart enough that maomao compares other people with him even lahan#and lahan is actually a genius#i will not stand for jinshi slander especially the one that undermines him#he's done so many smart things but i have been in awe of him for this esp#maybe bc i get him not wanting to be the ruler#not wanting to marry some rando (i think he is demisexual so that's another reason)#this whole plan was just so perfect and 🙇🏽♀️#anyway does anybody else think suiren was absolutely willing to prepare the brand not only because she supports jinshi#but also because she is the biggest jinmao shipper and maybe SHE suggested him to get maomao there#the thought of jinshi marrying anyone other than maomao must have been scary for her#if in the future jinshi does ends up becoming the emperor jinshi and she are going to go crazy over the harem issue#knh text
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It's just... odd to me, I suppose, going from "what is in my pants is completely irrelevant to most anybody else's life" to the expectation that you must be completely open, essentially, about what is in your pants.
I think a lot of people understand the general idea of why it's bad decorum to demand people offer explanations for private information like this, but they don't analyze exactly why it's bad besides, "asking directly is just rude" and not "asking in any way still enforces the often violent nature of gender and sex, and putting people in the 'right box' is a part of that violence."
It's especially odd when seeing other trans people enforcing the idea that "what's in your pants?" is a genuine, good-faith basis for interacting with others.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#what i mean by the last paragraph is... WHY does it matter?#if i lied to you right now about what is in my pants... how would you know OR how would you change how i am treated by you?#and also. i would absolutely rather lie about my *own* body than be put in danger because it is a trans body#if worse comes to worst i genuinely don't care if somebody is mildly insulted that i didn't 'trust them' enough with that information#it's just weird to see people go from 'only tell doctors that info; it hardly matters outside that!' to...#...'you need to tell ANYbody - even in social and platonic situations where you don't think it matters'...#...can you see how believing in the fundamental idea (that your sex and to extent gender is not your own and belongs to everybody else)...#...doesn't really mesh well with the idea that trans people should be able to live an autonomous life wherein their information is *theirs*#and can you see how for people who aren't trans but have an 'its complicated' with the broad 'what's in your pants?' would ALSO be hurt?#because even if you don't word it as such you still present the fundamental idea that - again - your sex and gender are required informatio#and that it must be judged to be 'accurate' so others can place you in whatever direction they want to treat you with#anyway lying about this shit isn't Inherently Evil and the idea that it's like. a boogeyman is weird actually
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YOU ARE SO WRONG YOU STUPID TWINK. GET FORESHADOWED IDIOT.
#thousands of fanfiction authors and also Mr. Robinson and Mr. Siddig: Oh Yes You Are Too Going To Cardassia ^_^#to be fair this is from back in s4 from uhhh that episode where Kira brings Ziyal back to DS9 that I just watched and already forg--OH WAIT#RETURN TO GRACE that's it#garashir#Starky's Original Posts#tbh I also love postcanon fics where Julian doesn't go to Cardassia and he and Garak end up somewhere else though I know it's not#nearly as popular#I think it actually makes perfect sense for Julian to end up on Cardassia entirely independent of his relationship with Garak#I just like also exploring an ending where Garak doesn't get to (or; gasp; even maybe CHOOSES not to) go back to Cardassia#cause I feel like there's a variety of reasons that would/could happen!#does anybody else have a fondness for some nonstandard garashir endgame settings#Star Trek: Deep Space 9#god Starfleet Spouse Garak is so funny to me. and bittersweet and fascinating and triumphant in a way!!! but mostly so so so funny.
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Can we talk about how the heart and soul of the original Ace Attorney trilogy centers around how Phoenix loves his sister Maya so much he will do literally anything for her but all the fandom wants to talk about is Wrightworth
(HAD TO EDIT THE POST BECAUSE PLEASE DO NOT TAG SHIP)
#am i saying wrightworth is a bad ship and people shouldn't ship it? no not at all#i'm saying that it is NOT THE POINT#IT IS NOT WHAT IS IMPORTANT IT IS NOT THE MAIN THING#in the games it does and in the fandom it should take a backseat to who phoenix himself says is the most important person to him#his little sister that he would die for#and people KNOW THIS#why else would matt engarde have maya kidnapped#why would godot have said that if he'd really wanted maya to stay safe then all he had to do was tell phoenix she was in danger#in the dumb little amnesia turnabout he cries when he remembers her I LOVE THEM#i just i'm new to this fandom yes but i never see ANYBODY TALK ABOUT IT#it is everything#turnabout sisters turnabout goodbyes reunion and turnabout farewell my turnabout and bridge to the turnabout#each and everyone are about phoenix and maya#yes even turnabout goodbyes sorry wrightworth#i mean obviously it's about edgeworth but it's also about maya#they split that one actually#phoenix did not risk life and limb for maya countless times for this treatment of their relationship lol#ace attorney#phoenix wright#maya fey#miles edgeworth#ace attorney trilogy#phoenix and maya
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#do you guys ever think about how yosuke is always the one that proposes their outings#yu is the catalyst that brings them together but yosuke is the glue that helps hold them there#thinking about his shadow's comment about how yosuke needs to surround himself with as many people as possible to stave off the loneliness#and to a large extent it kind of still holds true here (and theres nothing wrong with that!) and not only does yu know that#yu doesnt judge him or tease him for it. and like for all the things that yu (or anybody else) teases him about#THAT is not it#Yukiko calls him well connected and friendly aaaaah i cannot get that out of my head ever#and it's also in how his proposals are received by the others - everyone else is always genuinely excited to participate in it#like the motorcycle license and the beach holiday is all your friends can talk about for the days after that#i think its one of those things that imo really add to that... very organic friendship dynamic that the IT have compared to the SEES#or even the PT to some extent#(listen i love the PT dont get me wrong but the IT just have a Something to them) (and i think a lot of it is driven by Yosuke)#his friends rib and tease him because hes so bullyable but they are always always so willing to jump in when he suggests something aaaaaah#and he knows this!! he may not have realised it at first but he does eventually!!!#yosuke truly my beloved my absolute number one love
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Anyone else on the side of tiktok where Spiderman fanboys and the rest of the gaming fanbase give each other shit because BG3 won all of the awards and Spiderman 2 won zilch lmao
#people literally comment “what is bg3”#“i have never even heard of bg3 how did it win”#and at this point i'm wondering if they're all trolling because#have you been living under a rock???#absolutely baffling#that there seems to be this whole other side of video game fandom that is completely removed from bg3 and everything else#what a phenomenon I want to study it#baldur's gate 3#the game awards#also since when does anybody care about spiderman/marvel games that is complete news to me
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i like to hurt my own feelings
#alnst oc: minwoo#yapping about him in the tags nobody look at me#just the way that i've made him kdj but without any support#his self sacrificial ways and self hatred run so deep#and (BASED ON WHERE I AM IN THE NOVEL) kdj recognized the people around him were there but he also feels the need to sacrifice himself so#nobody else has to#i will always think abt the panel of everyone surrounding him and yjh just staring at him from across the way#god kill me#ANYWAY#take kdj but take away the people around him#thats minwoo#he wonders what he even does everything for. he doesnt have anybody waiting for him. not in his past not in this life or the next#he sacrifices so much of himself for everyone's happiness and yet theres nobody there. theres nobody there to tell him hes doing well#theres nobody who would really care if he dies. nobody who really cares when he takes his final breath#minwoo loves the people around him even if they dont love him back#and he knows that they'll never love him back. and hes okay with it.#if he has to suffer to make sure everyone around him is okay. then why wouldnt he? he's nothing at the end of the day#he's just a “side character”. hes never been a “protagonist”. his suffering is nothing compared to everyone else#even if somebody did love him. well. why would they? hes nothing. a smear on the garden#coughs and splutters and falls over. if you read all of this. congratulations! you get a gold star from me
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PHOBIA OF SEAWEED IS AN ACTUAL THING?????????????????? you see i am not afraid of the open waters nor am i scared of the things that live there,, like i regularly spend time watching deep sea videos i think they're so cool but oh my fucking god the idea of KELP IS MAKING ME LIKE ACTUALLY TWITCH EEEEEEEEUUUUUUUGHHH okok actually looking at it is kind of fine but the thought of it touching my feet is genuinely making me wanna throw up😭😭😭😭😭
#this is such a stupid thing bc sometimes it's fine#i live by the ocean i am a fish i have seen seaweed i have touched seaweed but it's different when you grab it on purpose compared to it#just randomly touching you#DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE#OMFG I'M GONNA SPIRAL#like once i thought i was gonna drown#mickey lore time#we were paddleboarding with my family and then me and my brother got off it and we started swimming to the shore and like we're both very#good swimmers so this was nothing insane aaand there were no waves or anything and my parents were still close by#but then at one point i was like oh i wonder how deep this actually is and i went under and i tried to touch the ground and sEAAWEEEDDDDD#EEEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I FEEL SICK JUST THINKING ABT ITTT#and it freaked me out so fucking bad and then i suddenly felt so tired and i just wanted to get out but i was still far away and i couldn't#stop thinking abt how it's gonna touch my feet again lmao#and i was very very very close to a panic attack in the water😭😭#oops#anyway i survived and i never told anybody i thought i was gonna drown bc i am not a pussy like that whewwwww#also. when i played subnautica (i only played for a few hours) i was more afraid of the fuckass kelp forest than anything else😭😭😭#i started thinking abt this bc i saw a video of a man in this dark scary cave (????) and like it was fine i was super intrigued until he pu#his fucking foot on the rock and you can just see the layer of seaweed i almost jumped out of my bed FUUCKKK THATTT
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im so fucking conflicted man, like this is making me cry
#not just about that previous thing#but also.....#i need rules to function in my head#how to decode good from wrong? rule: dont hurt people if you can avoid it#how to reasonably define hurting people#when i dunno what would hurt them? rule: as a baseline treat other people the way you would like to be treated unless they specify otherwisr#and jt works! it's a system#its the fucking wjat to we owe each other again. working out these reasonable rules is a never ending task#but when talking to people....#im like a programming language#so i can do a lot! but i have to be instructed. when dealing with exceptions/problems when i don't know what exactly to do to say to react#but like. i have issues with my self esteem i guess. for.no reason#how am i supposed to talk about it to people. why would i do that? how can i ask for advice if i already know what i am going to do?#i live in my head#and im so tired of this#i wish i could be myself or lobotomized#ive been feeling this pulled-taut rope in ky stomach whenever i think about my social life#i wish itd snap and ill awkwardly cut everyone off again#which makes me a hypocrite because im breaking a rule. im choosing to hurt people for my own convenience#does anybody elses brain work this way and PLEASE is there a solution? i need to stop thinking#so far mthe only solution ive found is grey zone (i dont know how to actually get real hard) drugs and a lobotomy#or just killing myself outright. i dont think i can do it yet but i wish i could#if i had a gun in my hands now for 5 minutes; as much as i want to i wouldn't be able to shoot myself#do you understand how this fact makes me feel even more like shit? depressed enough to wallow in self pity and misery not depressed enough#to solve it#just whine whine whine#i want to think like literally ANYBODY else think#i.want to.not need to make 10 yeat old ass rules for myself#but i dont know how to behave otherwise#im sorry i feel really bad
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As much as I appreciate and admire my family's religion because it brings them comfort and strength, there really isn't anything else like being told to youtube search for videos about atheists going to hell and then coming back to life, and knowing that, functionally, you are the same as an atheist because you aren't xtian to them. Like!!! Being told inadvertently and in a roundabout way that I'm going to hell by my dad is very odd, and the only thing to say in his defense is I have never delved into my religious beliefs and practices at all once. I'm just in awe about the idea of hell frankly
#jew by choice#jewish conversion#personal thoughts tag#ask to tag#< genuinely please i have no idea what i would even tag this as but it's like. i feel like it's sensitive#i told one of my shul buddies that tidbit about youtube and he held back his laughter and failed but i don't blame him#i was also laughing but if i took the idea of hell seriously (i don't believe in xtian hell so why would i?) i would laugh so i wouldn't cr#like i think xtians often see people who believe in g-d but not jesus as like ... functionally athiests#but i'm not an athiest. i just Do Not Believe in jesus or the divinity of jesus#and that was a huge problem i had when i felt forced to be xtian#and i respect xtianity but like... do they respect me. genuinely. because being told i'm going to HELL seems disrespectful...#and in his defense he doesn't know my religion or anything because why would i tell him that information when he talks/talked like that.#and i have my own complex ideas about hell but i don't ascribe to the ideas i grew up being tolf#anyway i just think it's a neat little nugget of 'oh maybe this is why i avoid any conversation about my own religious ideas'#okay but does anybody else with xtian family members experience this??? like!!! how do you even respond because i just shut up lmao
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okay i'm out of evil mode. peace love and a little bit of still-tired on planet earth lol 🧃
#just me hi#slept ! ! ! was it good? hell nah kfshvg#but i slept :D#wasn't allowed to go to bed for a couple hours cuz parents wanted to play a movie. it was good but it put me in a weird headspace lmsfh#//ooou my ear's doing the Thing#you know the thing. the thing it does. loll#ever since that ant was in there that one time (dear lird) when i wake up from laying on it it'll feel like. a bit inflamed on the inside ?#and kinda itchy. not good things but it's likely not going to kill me so 💥💥#'it's likely not going to kill me' <- things i likely said while pretending i couldn't see anything for like 3-4 years#oh but yea i'm going to assume it's nothing bc i was also getting phantom feelings and sounds for some weeks that caused panic so i'm not#even going to put weight on it. it's just itchy no biggy Kfshvhf :)#//anyway i think i also had a dream but i do Not remember those well At All lol#i know the last one had oath in it though so that one was cool. don't remember much else but that was sick Lmfsh :3#//Ohh it's rainingggg yippeeee :D <3#don't get much snow but we'll get tons of rain... i miss you michigannnnn <//3#//but anyway the dream thing just reminded me#so this detail may not be important but my oldest brother and i are joked to be twins. there's 2 years and at least a foot of height betwee#us (i am the short). people get our voices mixed up when we talk low and i think that's funny#we were also thick as thieves as kids. not a good thing for anybody else but Yeagh kfshvg#but there was this one time we'd both woken up and were talking abt both having had a dream the night before; giving details and such#and we had the same dream ? it's still kinda odd to this day but we had the Same Exact Dream on the same night. if not odd it's neat! :3#anyway so somewhere in the past year my brother (apollo) got a lunar on his right index finger#i kept forgetting tho and asking if it was a blood bruise (that is my bad boss ✋) and eventually the info stuck in my head#anyway so somewhere in the past two months i also got a lunar on my right index finger. i didn't even notice it until i was tryna wash my#hands and it wouldn't come off lmaoo#now that's going on ig. the timeline-clone theory grows stronger every day Kfhsvhfgsfg#//forgot what else i was going to say i went to go look into the phrase 'thick as thieves' lol#i don't understand how someone heard 'thick' and thought 'yeah. that means close now' kfshd#anyway it's old as you've prolly guessed. the earliest spot it's popped up was a newspaper that printed a letter that was written in 1827#but it mighta been used earlier than that. neat!
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How's it going?
Going well! I hope my relative absence hasn't made anybody think I'm doing badly. If anybody's off Tumblr for longer periods of time it means they're doing great, tbh.
I got covid, went to Hawai'i, and started a new job that is asking me to commute for the first time in 4 years, caught up on all of the social interaction I missed, and downloaded the Sim 2. So. Busy.
I also just finished up a literal 80k story which, which isn't good but which I'm ridiculously happy with. Does something have to be good when it's fucking funny, very intense, and the prose is surprisingly good? No. Who said you needed a real plot or anything but dialogue. Who told you that.
I've also been stress writing something else which is very long and very bad and will never see the light of day. So my writing energy has been going to those things.
The latest Weekenders chapter needs some edits that I just haven't had time for, so that's why it hasn't gone up yet. The readership base is relatively small for that story so I don't feel overly pressured. I work on what I feel like working on.
I'll assume you were thinking along the lines of, 'Wow, Meg's been gone, hope nothing bad's happening'. These asks can also mean 'When's the next update, but politely?'. But I have gotten a comment on Weekenders that was nothing but saying 'hope the next chapter comes soon'. Addressing anybody reading this in general - please don't leave comments like that! Especially when it's the only sentence in the comment. It wasn't phrased rudely but I think, for me especially, it feels a little ridiculous - I am a worryingly prolific author, who regularly posts new writing on my AO3 or my tumblr, and who updates once a week extremely regularly. Taking a break for a few weeks is incredibly normal to everybody else, and I don't want to be held to a different standard. People wouldn't ask anybody else, 'why aren't you posting new stories and updating constantly'. I'm not one of those people who needs feedback and validation from anybody but my abused Discord friends, not that there's anything wrong with having ordinary human emotions, and those comments don't make me want to stop writing or hurt my feelings - but they really don't do anything. My mind wanders, I find new things, and I write what I want to write. It's literally fanfic. I'll never pressure myself. If I wanted to do that I'd write stories I will admit to writing irl lol.
#my asks#I also have a few asks that Ill get to promise.#but i explained myself bc i wanted to and not bc i had to you know?#doubly so I'm not somebody who needs feedback and validation to write#from anybody else but the suckers I've trapped in my DMs#but the story being a little quieter does end up meaning that you just think about it a little less#so stuff like not updating doesn't cross your mind as much#i love the new story so much it's not even good but it makes me go crazy#SHE KEPT ON DRAWING FLOWERS...#HER HEART HIS BEATS.....#AAAAAAAAA
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n one gets him like i do no one understands him like me no one is as insane about him as i am STARTS GNAWING AT THE THE BARS OF MY ENCLSOURE
#toxi.txt#and yet i feel bad for the way i love him because at what point does love for a fictional character simply become sad and pathetic#ive only grown more irritated the more ive started to love him. more annoyed than ive ever been by skinny williams. by bad characterization#by the way i feel like im in my own echo chamber and cant truly talk about him with anybody else because they dont get it -#or because ive talked of him so much its become irritating and annoying and no one wants to hear it anymore#but its not like i can just stop. i wouldnt want to even if i could. he makes me happy#at some point the love is simply... neglect for everything else. im sure people are tired of seeing me draw him over and over and over#and isnt it ridiculous? that i feel like a bad person just for loving a character?#but the amount of people who actually like william continues to dwindle#his tag is quiet and it only gets quieter and sometimes the only people who speak are thise who dont understand him#its a loneliness of my own design other times. its not like like-minded people dont exist#and i guess also#how long can you siphon a well until it runs dry?#i already lack creativity. it's been worse this month or so than ever. maybe sometimes theres nothing else to be done#maybe im only ever repeating myself saying things ive said before. maybe i have nothing good to say at all
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#not feeling so great as of lately#i thought it was just that i was thinking about stuff at a too late of a time yesterday but now its morning and i still feel bad#sure i slept very badly so maybe its still that but idk it still doesnt feel great no matter what the reason is#i feel like. so annoying lately#and like yea maybe i am and it shouldnt matter yk like all that ur allowed to be annoying and just be urself and whatever#but it just of takes a lot out of u when u t talk about ur interests or ur day or smth ands like everyone just brushes it off or ignores u#and obviously im probably being dramatic like this is a busy time of the year!#and its not always about me and like other ppl have their reasons to do what they do u know#but it still feels bad :'))#also this isnt about like anyone specific its like a combination of little things that FEELS bad to ME not a thing someone else does#like i know ppl dont have to care about stuff yk i like that i KNOW they dont care about so like what do i expect#and i dont ever know what to say to stuff idk anything about either so its very understandable#but its took me years to like. talk about things i like without prompting so it feels like a big hit when i dont get any reaction back fsgsh#and thats not trying to blame anyone else either its not anybody elses fault im not good at something#i think my kind of insecurity is showing one of my friends had to reassure me that yes they do want to hear how im doing fsgsh#but im thankful for that it feels good to hear when ur feeling kind of unstable with ur relationships fshsh#also since i am feeling like. unstable on EVERY relationship i suspect its just seasonal depression or stress or something#still wont stop the brain from like trying to blame itself lmao#this is kind of stupid idk what im trying to even say here#my post#vent#maybe ill delete it later?? this feels stupid
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