#also did yall like my hole metaphors

[decadentrot]

Summertime Record Aftermath ch1 pt 5

Prequel Animatic, Index

Current Chapter: Pt 1, Pt 2, Pt 3, Pt 4, Pt 5

UPDATES BIWEEKLY (so next time 2nd)

Anya talks about Loid and Yor and I"ll leave it to yall to figure out whether Nightfall actually believes Anya knows something is up. Also woo actually moving more of the plot along with Anya having a new mission.

~Also if this was like actually a manga and stuff, this would be the end of chapter 1 (or mission 1 as they label it in sxf) because guess what we have reached 35 pages in 5 parts woo 🎉I might just make a separate index post cause i have a feeling this is getting too long

[whiskingskin]

Yo guess who just finished A Court Of Thorns and Roses

[feeling-pushy]

Creature Stats

Wanted to sit down and think about how the Creatures in my Creature Apocalypse series actually work. So I did a bit of research and made this list of characteristics! I actually ended up drawing inspiration from ants and the property of Non-Newtonian liquids like the putty you find in squeeze toys while also keeping in mind all the stuff I've already written about them! I'll put this all under a cut so it's not too long haha. Yall can give it a gander if yah want!

Creature’s Physical

Original form is a form of grey, viscoelastic liquid. Extremely vulnerable when not within a host body. Can stretch and mold itself into whatever form it wants, can even double or minimize it’s mass at will.

Like a cell, they have a nucleus-like brain, where all its functions and information is stored. Instantly dies without it.

The viscoelastic liquid produces pheromones that only other Creatures can detect and communicate through this. Human's cannot smell these pheromones.

Assimilate into the human host by filling their insides with the grey sludge that makes up their being and melting the fleshy insides, leaving behind some of the bones, and filling up the skin like putty in a toy. Takes on the host’s form.

When assimilating, the Creature will feed off the brain and learn about the hosts and it’s primal functions, like how they speak and walk. As well as absorbing the host’s most recent/most retained memories, it cannot access older/less remembered memories.

The human skin can cover approximately 21 square feet. The Creature’s are able to manipulate the skin, stretching out and manipulating the form within the bounds of the skin. Will not exceed the limits of the skin in fear of tearing.

Will use whatever bones that are left inside the body to turn into claws or teeth. The longer a Creature is in the host, the more time it has to refine the shape of the bones to form proper sharp teeth ad claws. Newly accumulated Creatures just crack the bones and jut the sharp ends out.

Stronger than the average human.

Are susceptible to colder temperatures and will melt under extreme heats.

Cannot heal the skin of their hosts, instead they will solidify their putty flesh around any holes or gashes made on the skin to plug up holes.

Creature Behavioral

An order of highly specialized and often sociable with each other.

Their collective intelligence is higher than their individual intelligence.

They seemingly function as a single unit, but they are not a hive mind.

They are nomadic and are notorious for the destruction of all life in their path. Going to new worlds to destroy and colonize it for their species.

Each Creature has a role within their species and function within that role.

They prefer ambush tactics, luring individuals away from groups in order to surprise attack them.

Logical, analytical, calculated, and orderly in their thoughts and behaviors.

They cannot think creatively. Possess no intuition, can’t pick up on subtle nonverbal cues and have a hard time understanding context and non-literal language, such as metaphors and irony.

They are mimics as they try to emulate the host specie’s behaviors and mode of communication.  The effectiveness of their mimicry varies.

The Three Roles

Scout/Foot soldier Creature

They are the ones who gather information and resources for the main colony. They are the ones survivors often fight. Usually travel either individually or in pairs.

Will either kill a human on the spot, or capture them to bring back their colony for assimilation.

Not as strong as the Warrior Creature, but they are smarter than them.

They make up the largest part of their population.

Relies the most on their mimicry in order to lure and kill/capture more hosts. Some preform these acts of mimicry with better accuracy than others.

Warrior Creature

They stay closer to the colony and are the last line of defense.

Their appearance is the least like their hosts as they sculpt their bodies for combat. Makes the most effective use of the bones stored in the bodies to make not only claws and teeth, but also construct weapons and make barbed needles they can eject at prey to injure/distract them.

The least intelligent, but the strongest.

Makes up a small portion of the population.

Doesn’t bother to preform acts of mimicry.

The Alpha

The one who leads the alien race

Less of a queen as they are a subtype of Warrior Creature, but are the ones who are responsible for organizing the others and for reproduction.

They are also the most intelligent of all other types of Creature. With access to all the information gathered by the scouts and the only one to think about the bigger picture.

They will often look the most like their host, taking pride in perfecting their mimicry as sign of their advanced intelligence.

Will only brake the illusion when they feel like they are in danger, in which all acts are dropped and they act more like a warrior class Creature.

Sussing out a Creature

Obscure Media References:

The survivor could casually reference obscure or niche media, such as books, movies, or songs, and gauge the individual's response. Creatures, lacking creativity and intuition, might struggle to understand or respond appropriately to references they haven't directly encountered or memorized.

Example: "Have you ever read the novel 'The Sirens of Titan' by Kurt Vonnegut?" A genuine human might respond with curiosity or a thoughtful answer, while a Creature might display confusion or struggle to engage in a meaningful conversation about it.

Personal Stories or Memories:

Asking for personal anecdotes or memories that involve emotional depth or complexity can reveal a lot about a person's true identity. Creatures can only access recent or prominent memories of their hosts and might struggle with details or coherence in older memories.

Example: "Tell me about a vivid childhood memory that shaped who you are today." A genuine human might recount a detailed, emotionally resonant story, whereas a Creature might falter or provide a superficial response lacking in personal depth.

Riddles or Complex Puzzles:

Presenting riddles, logic puzzles, or complex mathematical problems can test cognitive flexibility and problem-solving abilities. Creatures, with their logical but rigid thinking, may struggle with abstract thinking or creative problem-solving.

Example: "Here's a riddle for you: What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?" A genuine human might engage in a process of deduction or creative thinking to solve the riddle, while a Creature might find it challenging to comprehend or respond appropriately.

Behavioral Observations:

Observing subtle behavioral cues, such as emotional responses, social interactions, or non-verbal communication, can provide insights into someone's authenticity. Creatures may mimic behaviors but can struggle to emulate genuine emotional responses or nuanced social cues.

Example: Watching how an individual reacts to unexpected news or interacts with others in a group setting can reveal discrepancies in their behavior compared to genuine humans.

Physical Reactions to Environmental Stimuli:

Exploiting the creature's sensitivity to environmental changes, such as sudden shifts in temperature or exposure to certain chemicals, can provoke revealing reactions. Creatures may react unusually or exhibit discomfort in response to stimuli that affect their viscoelastic physiology.

Example: Introducing a sudden change in temperature or exposing them to a strong scent might prompt a Creature to react in a way that exposes their non-human nature, such as physical discomfort or an abnormal reaction.

Best Weapons for Combat

Firearms with Precision Targeting:

Rifles or handguns: These weapons are effective for their accuracy in targeting specific weak points, such as the Creatures' nucleus-like brain. A well-placed shot can incapacitate or kill a Creature quickly.

Shotguns: Useful at close range for their spread and stopping power, which can inflict significant damage to the Creatures' viscoelastic bodies and bones used for weapons.

Projectiles and Explosives:

Arrows or crossbow bolts: These can be tipped with specialized heads designed to penetrate and disrupt the Creatures' internal structure, targeting their vulnerabilities.

Grenades or explosives: Particularly effective for their ability to cause widespread damage and disrupt coordinated attacks, potentially incapacitating multiple Creatures simultaneously.

Scent bombs: Scent bombs can emit strong, disorienting odors that overwhelm the Creatures' olfactory senses. This can create confusion among them, disrupting their ability to coordinate attacks or communicate effectively using pheromones.

Melee Weapons:

Bladed weapons: Swords, machetes, or combat knives can be effective for close-quarters combat, targeting vulnerable areas or disabling limbs and appendages made from hardened bone.

Blunt weapons: Clubs, hammers, or improvised weapons can deliver powerful blows that shatter or incapacitate the Creatures' viscoelastic bodies.

[clovercow8228]

gillion and chip as hadestown!orpheus and eurydice

ok so i was listening to hadestown again because i love it dearly and i am still desperately trying to cope with ep 101 and i was like haha. chip and gillion as orpheus and eurydice. because yknow in the context of the actual myth you could compare it to the whole feywild arc and whatnot.

but then i listened to it more (more than halfway through the first song) and i realized it’s way better (worse) if you have it the other way around with chip as hadestown eurydice and gillion as hadestown orpheus. (there’s another way to read it too but we’ll get to that because it’s a bit more convoluted since. well it’s basically a game theory atp)

i’m going through this song by song because i have never felt happiness or peace ever

Road to Hell: ok so ignoring the gods for now. road to hell does eurydice a little dirty so for this song it’s just orpheus i’m talking about, but hermes describes him as a muse’s son and touched by the gods themselves. ok cool whatever so what Any Way the Wind Blows: “eurydice was a hungry young girl / a runaway from everywhere she’d ever been”? like yeah ok sure cool (side note? “ain’t nobody gonna stick around when the dark clouds roll” and  for chip, mr. constantly both afraid his crew will stay and will leave anytime something bad happens and who literally lost his family in the hole in the sea? silly.) plus for orpheus, “and this poor boy wore his heart on his sleeve / you might say he was naive to the ways of the world / but he had a way with words”. that’s my boy right there

Come Home with Me: most of this is just very funny (”oh, a liar and a player too?”) but “why would i become his wife?” “because he’ll make you feel alive” kinda got me a little tbh. and there’s also the ongoing theme of orpheus working on something to fix the balance of the world, which he can do because he’s touched by the gods.

Livin’ it Up on Top: most of this i’ll talk about when i talk about the gods because woo boy that should be a post of its own with how much psychological damage it caused me. but “there was a girl who had always run away / you might say it was in spite of herself / that this young girl decided to stay” for chip?

All I’ve Ever Known: yeahhhhhhhh nothing real metaphorical about this one. fnc shippers come get yalls juice ig idk that’s really all for that one

A Gathering Storm: title aside, the whole thing is eurydice being concerned about the practical way they will survive the winter while orpheus works on his song to make the world right again.

When the Chips are Down: hand to god i did not think about that pun until now. but yeah this whole song really sold it for me. “help yourself (to hell with the rest), even the one who loves you best / take if you can (give if you must), ain’t nobody but yourself to trust / aim for the heart (shoot to kill), if you don’t do it then the other one will” are interesting enough to think about with chip because basically his whole thing is not turning out like that but there are still some times (mainly early on) that he gets a little closer to those ideas. finally, “cast your eyes to heaven / you get a knife in the back”. put your life in the hands of anything but yourself and you get fucked over.

Wait for Me intro: alright one god i can pitch right now. hermes with the “so, just how far would you go for her? you got a ticket? yeah, i didn’t think so. course there is another way, but nah, i ain’t supposed to say.” being as mean as possible rn? hermes as niklaus would work as absolutely unfortunate as that is. which also makes the “ain’t no compass, brother, ain’t no map” line in the actual song even funnier since it’s hermes describing how to get to the underworld to save eurydice.

Wait for Me: the fates hit orpheus with the self doubt and worry that essentially he’s not the chosen one, part one. don’t really need to explain that one

Way Down Hadestown (Reprise): now hear me out on this. because hades’ whole bit is deals for people’s souls. eurydice signs a deal to give him her soul in exchange for not starving to death, and this song is her realizing what that really means and trying to defend it. which i will admit, makes it seem like it would work for niklaus too. but we’ll come back to that

If it’s True: “is this how the world is? to be beaten and betrayed and then be told that nothing changes?” now this one got me a little, between gillion’s ‘my last sin’ speech and what he said to jay in the block.

Intro to Wait for Me (Reprise): “it’s a trap?” “it’s a trial.” hermes explaining to orpheus and eurydice the conditions of them being allowed to leave. at the end of the day, according to hermes, their success rides on whether they trust each other and themselves. arguably the most recurring theme of riptide.

Doubt Comes In: orpheus doubting that he actually has the power to bring her back, thinking he has been tricked or is too weak to do it. in gillion’s own mind, his fatal flaw is not knowing if he believes he can be the chosen one or protect his friends. and for orpheus, he couldn’t.

a good amount of the songs are missing because i haven’t talked about hades and persephone yet. they’re. a separate issue

[raevenlywrites]

The Ties That Bind 12 of ???

Rei and I held hands as we emerged from the dark into--more dark. Zane had promised the  rsh  wasn’t as dim inside as it seemed, but I missed the sun. And I was grateful for Rei’s hand in mind as we moved through the tight press of netting and vines.

There was an uncanny beauty to it, this joining of intention of happenstance, a closeness that I might have found comforting if I hadn’t felt so stifled already. Rei’s hand seemed too thick and hot in mine, but I stuck close to him anyways, unnerved by the walls of the  rsh . They seemed to slither and switch, and it wasn’t until we rounded a corner back into the main room that I realized their movement came from the shifting shadows cast by a dancing flame.

Once a fire was lit in the central room, the entire space transformed. Where net and leaf began became much clearer, because the nets, I could now see, had once been bright, vibrant colors. Time had dulled them, and I could only imagine the brilliant jewels they must have once been, however long ago.

They say our peoples have been at war for over two thousand years.

They also say the falcon empress Cjarsa is older still than that.

It seems petty to doubt such magic when I myself have knit closed minor wounds with only the power of my voice and prayer. But surely, surely, some myths need not to be true. I didn’t want to believe our war was that old. And I didn’t know what to make of an empress that was supposed to remember a time we knew peace, but did next to nothing to help us return to it.

 Zane startled me from my thoughts, even as my mind played back the last few seconds and realized I had noticed my guards shift around me and had simply dismissed it. It wasn’t  Zane  startling me, it was the interruption from my introspection in general.

 “It’s eerie, isn’t it?” he asked, gazing at the wall and not me. “There’s a  rsh  just like this on the edges of the marketplace, with a central room just like this one, but...”

 He trailed off, dropping the hand he’d been reaching out to a broken twist of net. It amazed me how it still stood at all, and I said as much.

 “This one is more vine than net, I think,” he said carefully. “It takes time and patience to grow up walls like this. And even more to bring them back down.”

 I humphed under my breath.

 “Everyone keeps talking around me lately, in pretty metaphors--or obvious ones.”

 He turned wide eyes to me and I gave him back what I hoped was a single arched brow. It was a difficult expression to master, without screwing up the rest of my face to be comical. Apparently it was effective though, or Zane was being polite at my failure when he smiled with a soft shake of his head.

 “That one was for me, actually. If you feel the tearing down walls metaphor is apt for yourself as well, then hopefully it means we’ll be able to find more common ground before the week is out.”

 My stomach dropped at the reminder that I was expected to stay here, with him--and Rei--for an entire week. It had seemed like such a good idea at the farmhouse, staring into the triumphant face of Alasdair.

 “You said your dancers dance around the sign of the Anhleh,” I said, not caring how obviously I was changing the subject. “Do you think there’s one intact here, or...” I gestured lamely at the walls. Zane gave me another humoring smile.

 “This nest is dead, a relic. I’m afraid if you want to see serpiente dance before the Anhleh you’ll have to come back with me to sha’Mehay.”

 It was only my blood running cold that kept my cheeks from flushing. The terror at the thought of willingly entering the heart of the serpiente palace cooled any embarrassment at the thought that I might have been asking him to dance, here and now.

 You want to do this here, now? Rei’s voice echoed in my head and the blush won out. Zane chuckled.

 “Is the thought of merely watching others dance too much for you, pretty Danica? I knew hawks were prudes but--”

 “I’m not a prude!” I snapped, and instantly regretted it. Softer voices could be politely ignored in this close space. Quiet shouting could not.

 I felt Rei crowd closer behind me and suddenly wanted out of this hole in the ground.

 “Rei,” I ground from between my teeth, “you  cannot  hover over me all week. I meant what I said to Erica, and I’ll say it again to you too. I don’t need a soldier, I need a guard. Go fly a scouting circuit, see how obvious the smoke from that fire is above the trees.”

 It was almost certainly the wrong thing to say. But he met my orders with a tight, “Yes, Shardae,” and gave me the space I so desperately needed. Now if only I could order myself up and into the sun.

 Zane was studying my face, and didn’t have the manners to try to disguise it when I turned back to him. Or maybe it was a cultural thing. Maybe serpiente just openly stared at everyone. Either way, my emotions were too wrung out for niceties anymore. I’d spent the better part of a week either traveling or trapped in fruitless arguments, and I just needed a  break .

 “This is the most emotion I’ve ever seen from you,” Zane commented before I could speak. “It’s a shame it’s all tense and jagged like this. I have a feeling you’d have a lovely aura in more pleasant times.”

 At that, I could only blink.

 “W-wha?”

 Zane did that sad smile, headshake thing that was definitely starting to seem like his go to cover up for laughing at me.

 “In our scaled form, serpents taste heat. Life. Alive-ness. Like this, I can still taste your heartbeat, smell the sticky sharp closeness of panic on the back of my tongue--“

 “That’s disgusting,” I said, nearly sick from the thought of it. How could serpiente stand to be so close to one another if they were so aware of each other’s bodies?

 “It’s a metaphor,” he said lightly, colder than he’d been a moment before. “We sense it with a sense that isn’t taste or smell or touch, but it's like trying to describe a song to the deaf. I can hold your hand, tap out the beats, but you still miss the soaring of the melody, the finer notes that make it music and not just sound.”

 I nodded, contrite at having offended him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend.”

 He sighed. “It’s quite alright. I can only imagine it will be the first of many.”

 Something about that made me unspeakably sad. So sad that it changed my “taste” apparently, because Zane reached out for me, to brush my arm I think. But of course Erica was there, and I finally lost my temper completely.

 “Enough!”

 I snatched Zane’s hand in mine, earning startled cries from everyone in the room, even Adelina. I raised our joined hands and shook them, like brandishing a weapon.

 “Zane and I are going to touch. Zane and I are going to be close, because Zane and I are  trying  to have private conversations. If one more person comes within a foot of me without my express invitation I am going to send them home. So help me I will sit in his lap if that’s what it takes to get you all to  stand down .”

 Abruptly, I became  aware  of the fact that I was holding Zane’s hand, that I had taken it without his permission, and that the whole room was staring at us. I squeezed his hand tighter, not knowing how to get off this metaphorical dias.

 Zane squeezed back.

 “It’d be almost worth it to call your bluff,” he muttered, but then said to the larger group, “Is there something we can do to help make you all more comfortable? Among my people, we have elaborate rules and traditions for guests, and I do consider you all my guests, even as I consider myself yours. In my house, I would offer you food and drink, and you would know that no harm would come to you unless violence was offered. What is the way of it in the Keep?”

 In the Keep, violence was absolutely unheard enough. We had enough of that on the fields, on the training grounds. There was no violence in the Keep because it was our refuge from such things.But that wouldn’t help us here.

 “We are held by our word,” Raymond said. I startled, almost having forgotten the quiet raven in the press of so many louder personalities. “Words spoken by or to the Tuuli Thea have power, real power, especially in the halls of our Keep. I do not know how such oaths would hold you, but it is what we would do, if we felt the need.”

 Zane nodded. “We have our own words, codes of conduct, contracts.” He turned to me, pulling our hands closer to our chests.

The Ties That Bind Tag list: @thehellinsideyourhead @therecouldbecolorsandlove @adventuresofacreesty @writing-with-melon @rainydaydarling

Raev’s Gen Tag List (should I tag you guys in this? It IS a thing I wrote. I’m gonna say yes unless you guys are like “no of course not we’re sick of hearing about your stupid fic for a twenty year old book XD)

No one has complained yet so yall gonna keep getting tagged :P

List is currently: @lordkingsmith @writinglyra @drbibliophile @mperialscribe @adie-dee @adie-dee @lexiklecksi @writinginslowmotion @raenawrites @apollon-arium @anika-writes

[thepringlesofblood]

finished taz grad

*disclaimer: if you cyberbully Real Human Being Travis McElroy bc you don’t like taz: g, fuck off. it’s ok to just say ‘hmm i don’t like this thing’ and then stop listening! im always about in depth media analysis and critical thought, and bringing up valid criticism in a polite and constructive way, but sometimes its not that deep, and some of yall take it too far, and not liking something doesn’t mean its bad

anyway, I though the finale was pretty cool!

I had the thought, as the stupid stupid stupid remix of pomp and circumstance played out the end of the episode of ‘oh right, not every campaign has to be heart-wrenching and soul-building and all that shit, sometimes it’s nice to just listen to some boys goofin around and being family’

bc like. there are a lot of Serious Themes in taz:g but also, it’s just a different balance (lol) of comedy and drama than previous arcs. and that’s ok! it was honestly refreshing. i laughed, i cried, it was good shit

however

some things about this arc confused and upset me (under the cut bc spoilers) and im gonna talk about them here, not in the form of a personal attack, but just as thoughts

so, here’s my pros/cons/thoughts on taz g

i did not like the drugs. now this may be bc of my personal aversion to recreational drug use (including alcohol), but it just seemed really fucked up and out of nowhere???

like i really like festo as a character and i get that theyre kinda morally grey but i figured it was like in a murder is ok way not like this - it’d be one thing if it was an offer instead of like. a demand. and then they leveled up?????

pls tell me im not the only one incredibly confused and upset by this. is it like a metaphor for the college experience???? is it symbolic of entering the fairy realm???? what is it??????

to clarify - im not saying drug use itself is immoral. the situation w festo and the boys and the party in the fairy realm is what was irking me. like griffin pointed it out! the power dynamic and everything was real fucked up!!!!

it just felt weird and kind of out of nowhere idk

and then the 5 yrs later

I liked most of it, but. argo’s cruiseline bit being like firbolg-themed? yikes!!! that’s a whole culture that you’re not part of!!!! i know clint loves to make weird franchises with his characters and this was his way of trying to honor his relationship with the firbolg gary, but ya couldve gone w a lot of different things, this seems Less Than Spectacular

and like

some things i personally would like to have seen

- the complete destruction of capitalism (a tall order, i admit, i don’t blame em im just a sad strange lil man lookin for wish fulfillment in this crazy mixed up world)

- i love the whole gary plotline and justin fucking one-hit KO’d me with that line ‘it feels good to have a name’ but also i was really looking forward to seeing the firbolg and the boys being more found-family-y and maybe going on that big international waters trip together but i also very much get that the kind of distance b/w them is very emblematic of the post-college experience of trying to keep in touch long distance while also creating a new life for yourself

now

things i thought were bomb af

- XORN IS BACK

- stormbringer fitzroy and big snippers

- reality breaking down and doing that thing from gravity falls where they go through a bunch of different iterations of themselves that was both fucking hilarious and kept things interesting

- clint forgetting the 2 other times clint mcelroy embezzling janitor appeared in this arc and trying to make another joke about it being officially canon now only for his sons to go no! youre already here!

- The Boys Gettin Beefy w the chaos builds

- the narrative of chaos finding their voice

- how quickly everything turned into ‘get this dipshit prince into the hole asap’ and gray just being like ok????ok???

- gray not betraying them but also making no promises like this arc fucks w morality and hes smack dab in the center

- them leaving rainier in charge like yeah everything’ll be fine right? and they get back and she’s queen of darkness marionette of the battlefield fuck yeah i love her and her cool dad so much

- the commodore’s death. i know we all talk about the emptiness of revenge, but at the same time he was going to go on to do so much hurt to the world and fuck if he didn’t deserve it. this arc said ‘violence is ok sometimes’ and tbh it was really refreshing to have a completely fulfilled ‘you killed my mother prepare to die’ inigo montoya moment.

- the contrast b/w the morality of professional heroes and villains and the morality of The Boys. where the lines were drawn and why, and how much of it was just gut instinct of ‘you should do good not bc it is required, but bc it feels right’

i am super excited for ethersea bc i am a sea-faring bitch who went through a big mermaid phase and also ngl, i personally prefer griffin’s DMing style over travis’ longform not bc it is inherently better but bc people can have preferences for things without assigning a value judgement to them.

also, i have synesthesia, which means sounds have colors and textures for me, and i realized this arc that the color and texture of travis’ usual speaking voice are best appreciated in small doses for me, idk what it is but it just gets to be too much sometimes, and again that aint on him hes doin great and his character voices are dope, thats on me and my personal preference

anyway, taz g was cool and i liked it, not my favorite but thats just personal preference its still dope

[bulletproof-korean]

BTS 팔도강산 (Satoori rap)

This post will be a bit different (and way longer) because this song is in Korean dialects (사투리 in Korean) which is not ideal for language learners (can be confusing). However! I think Korean dialects are fun to tackle because there is such a variety and their sound is so unique. A disclaimer: I am not a native Korean speaker, I am still learning so if there are any mistakes you can let me know and I’ll fix it. And beware of my messy handwriting~

First of all, we have to talk about geography and more specifically Korean provinces because they mention them in the hook. On the picture below, you can see the main regions of South Korea as of today. 충청도, 경상도 and 전라도 are officially divided into their northern (북) and southern (남) parts [for example 전라북도, 경상남도] and the provinces officially do NOT include the metropolitan city areas (such as 서울특별시, 부산광역시 and so on).

So there is in total 9 provinces in today’s South Korea. 

The title of this track is 팔도강산, in hanja written as 八道江山 (eight, road, river, mountain) which is a four-character saying (사자성어) which can mean either “scenery of all parts of Korea” or “every corner of the land”.

강산 means either “landscape/scenery” or “country/land”

팔도 are the 8 provinces that Korea was divided into untill 1895 during the Joseon dynasty. They are still reflected in today’s division into provinces. Here they are (Jeju used to be part of 전라도):

BTS use the dialects from their respective hometowns (they talk about their 고향[hometown] in Ma City as well as in Where You From).

Most of them are from 경상도 and this dialect is often said to be the most “famous” one because it has some very distinct characteristics but we have each rap line member from a very different dialect region! 

(경상도) Jimin and Jungkook are from 부산, Yoongi (D-boy) and Taehyung are from 대구 - both cities have a (similar yet slightly different) strong and recognisable dialect - it’s often associated with tough guys and if a girl speaks it it makes her automaticaly cuter (many many dramas / movies are centered around it)

(경기도) Namjoon is from 일산 and Seokjin from 과천 - both are close to Seoul, the language used there is almost the “proper language” 표준어 but there is a slight dialect in 경기도 as well, different from 표준어

(전라도) Hoseok is from 광주 which also has a strong distinctive dialect (he  mentions his hometown in CNS), it’s known for sounding very cheerful, friendly and happy

Now let’s actually look at the lyrics. It helps a ton to recognize the dialect when you know what part of Korea each one of them is from 🤓 I will put the proper language in cursive:

RM: 서울 강원부터 경상도 충청도부터 전라도 From Seoul, Gangwon to Gyeongsang-do, Chungcheong-do to Jeolla-do

Jimin: 마마 머라카노 (What) 마마 머라카노 (What) [야 야 뭐라고 하니 (What) 야 야 뭐라고 하니 (What)]

Jimin starts it off, he is from 부산 so he uses 마 (short for 인마=buddy) instead of 야 (hey) and the phrase 모라카노 is well known, many people parody it, it means “what are you saying?”

RM: 서울 강원부터 경상도 충청도부터 전라도

J-Hope: 우리가 와불따고 전하랑께, 우린 멋져부러 허벌라게 [우리가 와버렸다고 전하라니까 , 우린 멋져 엄청나게]

Tell them that we’re here, we’re really cool 

랑께 and 부러 are some of the typical word endings in 전라도 사투리

Suga:  아재들 안녕하십니꺼 내카모 고향이 대구 아입니꺼 [아저씨들 안녕하십니까 내가 뭐, 고향이 대구 아니겠습니까 ]

Hello uncles/misters! Me? well my hometown is (obviously) Daegu

그캐서 오늘은 사투리 랩으로 머시마, 가시나 신경 쓰지 말고 한번 놀아봅시더 [그래서 오늘은 사투리 랩으로 남자, 여자 신경 쓰지 말고 한번 놀아봅시다]

So today let’s have fun with some satoori rap, no matter if you’re a guy or a girl

You can notice how instead of 다 and 까, Suga says 더, 꺼 and the terms 아재(아저씨), 머시마(남자) and 가시나(여자) are pretty well known across the country.

J-Hope: 거시기 여러분 모두 안녕들 하셨지라 [저기 여러분 안녕들 하셨지요?]

Hey everyone, have you been well?

거시기 is a famous word from 전라도 dialect that can be used as anything, that, umm, when you forget what somehting is called or even hey like 마/야

오메 뭐시여 요 물땜시 랩 하것띠야  [오머 뭐예요? 이 “물때문에” 랩 하겠어]

Oh my, what’s this? How can I rap in here? (there’s multiple translations for this part out there and I’m honestly not sure myself, help) 물 means water but if used as slang, it can mean atmosphere in a club or at a concert; 땜시 is a dialect for 때문에

아재 아짐들도 거가 박혀있지 말고 나와서 즐겨잉, 싹다 잡아블자고잉 [아저씨, 아주머니들도 거기 박혀있지 말고, 나와서 즐겨, 싹다 잡아버리자고]

Uncles and aunties too, don’t stay home, come out, have fun, let’s get everyone

other typical word endings for 전라도 are 잉, 띠야

V: 마 갱상도카모 신라의 화랑 후예들이 계속해서 자라나고 [야, 경상도라고 하면 신라의 화랑 후예드이 계속해서 자라나고 ]

Hey, speaking about Gyeongsang-do, there’s still descendants of Silla’s Hwarangs growing here

JK: 사투리하모 갱상도 아이가, 구수하고 정겨운게 딱 우리 정서에 맞다 아이가 [사투리하면 경상도 아니겠어? 구수하고 정겨운게 딱 우리 정서에 맞지 않아?]

When it comes to dialects, isn’t the Gyeongsang-do one the best? It’s tasty and warm/comfy, it fits just right to our sentiment

아이가 is a word that you use to ask “right?” but you don’t really expect a negative response. It’s kind of like ~지(요) but less polite

Also 갱상도 is not a typo but the actual way they’re calling 경상도 in the dialect

J-Hope: 아따 거거 우리도 있당께, 뭣좀 묵엇단까? 요 비빔밥 갑이랑께 [아, 그거 우리도 있어, 뭘 좀 먹었어? 이 비빔밥 최고야]

Ah, we have that too. Did you eat? This bibimbab is the best

The tastiest bibimbab is said to be from Jeonju (in Jeolla-do) and the whole region is famous for its cuisine.

아직 씨부리잠 새 발의 피이니께, 쫌따 벼, 개안하게 풀어블라니까 [아직 말하자면 새 발의 피니까, 좀 이따 봐, 시원하게  풀어볼거니까 ]

So to say, this is only a drop in the bucket (=insignificant amount), watch me a bit later, I’m going to let it out straight

Suga: 가가 가가? 이런 말은 아나? 갱상도는 억시다고? 누가 그카노?  [그 아이가 그 아이니? 이런 말을 알아? 경상도는 억세다고? 누가 그래?]

“Is that the one we’ve been talking about?” Do you know this phrase? That Gyeongsang-do dialect is rough..? Who said that?

가가 가가 is a very famous phrase from this dialect. You can see that Gyeongsang-do dialect shortens many words and has a lot of “rough” sounding word endings like 노, 라, 나... but it’s mostly a stereotype about the dialect

Jimin: 머라케샀노? [뭐라고 하는거야?] What are you saying?

Suga: 갱상도 정하모 아나바다 같은거지, 모 니가 직접와서 한번봐라 [경상도 정이라고 하면 아나바다 같은 거지. 뭐 네가 직접 와서 한번 봐라]

The 정 from Gyeongsang-do is all about sharing, well come see for yourself

JK: 아 대따 마 [아 됐어 인마] Man, that’s enough

Suga: 대구 머스마라서 두말 안한다카이  [대구 남자라서 두말 안한다니까]

I’m a guy from Daegu so I stick to my word

하모하모 갱상도 쥑인다 아인교,  아 주라 마, 우리가 어디 남인교  [그럼 그럼 경상도 죽이지, 아이한테 줘라 인마, 우리가 어디 남이야?]

Of course of course, Gyeongsang-do is the best, give it to a kid man, we aren’t strangers, are we?

Giving it to a kid is a phrase from baseball games, when the ball flies out into the audience, people shout 아주라 and you’re supposed to give the ball to the closest kid to it.

J-Hope: 시방 머라고라? 흐미 아찌아쓰까나 [지금 뭐라고 했어? 흠 어떻게 해야 할까]

What did you say? Hmm what should I do

전라도 씨부림땜시 아구지 막혀브러싸야 [전라도 말하는 것 때문에 말문이 막혔어?]

Did your mouth get blocked because we’re talking about Jeolla-do?

I only noticed thanks to a video but 시방 and 씨부리다 really do sound like 씨발*, the infamous swear word (was that intentional Hobi?)

흑산도 홍어코 한방 잡수믄 된디, 온몸 구��이란 구녕은 막 다 뚫릴 텬디 [흑산도 홍어코 한 입 잡수면 되는데, 온몸 구멍이란 구멍은 막 다 뚫릴 텐데]

Heuksan-do, skate fish, you just need to taste it once, every hole in your body will open 

- Your mouth is blocked so have a taste of the stingray to open it up.

거시기 뭐시기 음 괜찮것소? 아직 팔구월 풍월 나 애가졌쏘 [저기 뭐 음 괜찮겠어? 아직 팔구월이지만 풍족한 달이지 나 아기를 가졌어]  

That that/hey you, umm, are you ok? I’m pregnant with a kid in the 8~9th month

무등산 수박 크기 20키로 장사여, 겉만 봐도 딱 가시내 울릴 방탄여 무등산 수박 크기 20키로 장사야, 겉만 봐도 딱 여자 아이들 울릴 방탄이야

It’s as big as the watermelons from Mt. Mudeung, a strong guy of 20kg, just look at him, he’s a bangtan who is going to make girls cry

Very big watermelons, can be twice as big as the usual watermelon, from Mt. Mudeung, in Gwangju. (a tall mountain and huge watermelons - a metaphor for success and rise of BTS?)

Here they’re just arguing hahaha

Suga: 형아가 좀 솔직히 함 생각해봤는데 경상도 남자가 좀 잘생긴 거 같다 [형이 좀 솔직히 한 번 생각해봤는데 경상도 남자가 좀 잘생긴 것 같다]

I’ve been thinking, and honestly, I think men from Gyeongsang province are more handsome

J-hope: 형님 거 아니어요 형님 [형님 그게 아니에요 형님] Hyung-nim, that’s not it, hyung-nim

Suga: 맞다니까 I said it’s true

J-Hope: 아니랑께 [아니라니까] I said it isn’t

Suga: 맞다니까 I said it’s true

J-Hope: 아따 조용히 하쇼 그냥 [아 조용히 하세요 그냥] Just be quiet

RM: 아 이 촌놈들 난 Seoul state of mind Ah, you country bumpkins, I have a Seoul state of mind

난 서울에서 나서 서울말 잘 배웠다 I was born in Seoul (technically in Ilsan) and learned the Seoul language well

요즘은 뭐 어디 사투리가 다 벼슬이다만 그래 인정할게, 악센트들이 멋은 있다 Though lately dialects elevate/signify your position, okay, I’ll admit, the accents are cool

하지만 여긴 표준인 만큼 정직해 But here, this is the standard so it’s honest

처음과 끝이 분명하고 딱 정립된 한국말의 표본으로 정리되지 It’s set as a prime example of well-established Korean that has a clear beginning and end

Only ours goes with English, yall never understand it

Okay 솔직히 솔직해질게 Okay, I’ll be honestly honest

경상도 사투리는 남자라면 쓰고 싶게 만들어 Gyeongsang-do satoori makes guys want to use it

전라도 말들은 너무나 친근해, 한번 입에 담으면, 어우야, 내가 다 기쁘네 Jeolla-do words are so friendly, once I “put it in my mouth”, wow, I become so happy

Why keep fighting 결국 같은 한국말들 Why keep fighting, in the end, it’s all the same Korean

올려다봐 이렇게 마주한 같은 하늘 Look up, we’re facing the same sky like this

살짝 오글거리지만 전부다 잘났어 It’s a bit cringy but all the dialects are great

말 다 통하잖아? 문산부터 마라도 We can all communicate, right? From Munsan to Mara-do

Munsan is in the north of SK, close to the DMZ and Panmunjom Mara-do is a tiny island south of Jeju island and it’s the southernmost part of SK

I got help from DKDKTV’s explanation video because otherwise it would be almost impossible for me to translate 😭 and they have really nice clips to demonstrate how it sounds as well so I recommend you check it out ^^

I included my interpretation at times though, I don’t agree 100% with their translations so it’s a teeny tiny bit different. 

The dance is also made so that members from the same regions rap together/hype each other up (right off, V is hyping up Suga). J-Hope has RM and Jin as hypemen because he’s the only one from 전라도.

And it’s basically one big argument that RM ends with “we’re all Korean, stop fighting” 😁

[eyestrain-addict]

Yo its 3 am almost 4 but dude I like HAVE to give a comprehensive history lesson of Attack On Titan my boy Isayama did some good ass worldbuilding

Spoilers obviously. Also I'm going off memory so not like 100 percent accuracy

To look at AOTs history we have to first look at our own going back about 2000 years ago. Roman's dominate lots of territory and start to 'explore' the Celtic-Norse area, if you know anything about history you know how well this goes for the Germanic people.

Also important side note. These tribes being NORSE is important to the story. Remember that whilst looking at my ramblings because if anyone knows anything about me they know I'm a slut for norse myth and isayama doing a 180 in the middle of the manga going haha this is actually referencing myth got my heart went doki doki yall fr fr

Now THIS is were the aot timeline starts.

Once upon a time in these little tribes some pigs are set loose and the king is like ight who done did it and everyone points at this lil girl named ymir because they some snitch bitches. Kings like haha run lil bitch and then I guess hunters or something chase her through the woods until she finds a big tree. Of course she goes into and falls down into a hole because what else do little blonde girls do in books? But instead of being whisked into a land of wonder she falls into a pool of water until this weird thing sticks to her pack. We dont really know for sure what this thing is but two options are earth devil or source of all life who tf knows tho my theory it's just a weird powerful parasite cus it attaches itself to Ymirs spine and lets this bitch get CRAZY big. I'm trying to summarize and keep this short but I'm failing. Important info she gets big, basically gets god powers, and a dope skull face.

So norse myth incase you didnt know ymir was the first thing that like. Was living. He was the source of all giants and kinda all the gods too? I cannot for the life of me remember where Odin came from and I'm no pussy so km not looking it up we die like men anyway Ymir = Ymir, titans = giants, it's on the nose a bit but it gets less on the nose the less you know about norse myth.

Anyway shes like king I know you just tried to hunt me like a fox but I'll use my powers to serve you and he went lit build the kingdom and also fucking annihilate the Roman marleyan army. So she did just that and the king 'rewarded' her by 'letting her' have his children. Her daughters were sina rose and maria. Not very Germanic names if my memory serves me but whatever I think isayama didnt expect to fledge out the lore this much before he named the walls.

One day 13 years later, the marleyan army was surrendering when bOOM dude pulls out a medieval glock spear and throws it at the king! Ymir being the ride or die bitch she is jumps in front of the king and gets murked. In a desperate attempt to traumatize his daughters to get ymirs powers back he forces sina, rose, and maria to eat. Ymirs. Entire. Body. Yikes dad of the year here folks.

Miraculously? Miraculously it works! His daughters get some of her powers split between them. We can assume tho it's not said explicitly that the power is then split among their children but it stops at 9 people having this badass power. Why you ask uuuuuhhhhhhh I donajkanakksksks gaaa-

I'm not gonna go over all the powers but the main one you need to know about the founding titan which can erase memories and control mindless titans something we'll get into later. It can also only be used by ymirs descendants or royal blood if ya wanna get fancy with it.

Also ymir when she dies is transported to this weird desert world where she makes the bodies and titans and just random limbs incase one of the 9 holders gets hurt and needs to heal. This is called the coordinate but it's actually just a metaphor for the world tree Yggdrasil. Also the 9 titan thing is I'm pretty sure a reference to the 9 realms but I'm not quite certain may just a coincidence.

Part one I'll reblog this with more.

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP. 3 (Cont.)

“aight fellas im here for the fortnite session where we droppin boys”

Hibiki shows up, ready to participate in this four player game of sociological tension.

“hope hibiki’s doing okay. im worried about her. ryoko, stop resting your arm on my head.”

“ryoko does as ryoko pleases baby”

Vibrates angstily.

“im missing my wife for this guys please lets just do this”

“wish i had a wife too instead of this vase filled with fucking ashes” SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORP

The squad analyzes the statistics of all Noise outbreaks over the last month to see if there’s a pattern somewhere. Somehow, Hibiki is regarded as an authority on this, despite being just a normal girl.

This is not the face of someone who has a degree in Noisology, let alone even listened to a Noisia album.

“looking photogenic while this girl describes how these horrible, lovecraftian entities butcher entire populations will look great on my acting resume”

Strained sounds of holding back laughter at this absolute clownery.

*coughs quietly*

Exposition goes on about the UN acknowledging the existence of Noise, but them existing for far longer, existing in myths as demons and monsters of long ago. This makes little sense, but fuck it, just roll with it. They also say the Noise is rare, but this being Symphogear, the Noise will be here forever, until the end of time.

“its like the noise are a metaphor........................”

Hibiki, looking dead inside as the average overnight studying student would, muses whether someone is behind the noise. She also asks if you can hear the sound of one hand clapping.

Tsubasa makes a very relevant observation that the school is smack dab at the center of all these outbreaks. In retrospect, you probably should have asked her first. She points out it may be because someone wants their get their hands on the almost complete relic hidden away in the 2nd Division: Durandal. Why anyone wants an old ass french sword is beyond me.

“yeah i can do exposition too, fuck you”

Finished relics are extremely rare and as a result extremely powerful. Incomplete ones are pretty powerful, but need to be rebuilt a bit.

“i discovered all this, conveniently, as the only person left to do so! totally not suspicious at all.”

“anime plot hurting brain. bullshit levels make think no good.”

“wish i got hired for a macross anime instead, they get to go to space”

“being meguca is suf- wait, im confusing my roles”

The exposition goes on to note that America wants the relic. This is one of the few shows that depicts America in a very serious and antagonistic light. America never cooperates in any useful way except once.

“it should would suck if someone was sending us them noise monster all on purpose-like”

“yeah............! suuuuuure would suck.... mmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmm...”

Tsubasa and Ogawa quietly plan idol ruminations. This animation used to be far, far worse.

This is the moment where Tsubasa becomes sword-kin. From here on out, she will always refer to herself as a sword. This is law. Literally every single season has this same deal. She believes she is a sword. I know it’s not literal, but I like pretending it is.

Succ Intensifies

“gonna get her number later after the season is over, damn”

Hibiki muses on the nature of war.

“why we gotta fight”

“cause yall suck”

Ryoko then says some very not nice things that we’re just going to walk right around because Ryoko is a little bit of a weirdo and should probably keep her flirting to the short haired lady working on the bridge.

“i will call the cops, lady”

Hibiki starts her next day at school as she spots Tsubasa during her choir class.

“forget my nintendo switch with the latest smash bros game in the classroom goddamnit”

“hibiki please tone down the gay for five seconds while we try to get through this dumb singing class in one piece”

“i smell a homewrecker”

“THE GAY CAN NEVER BE TONED DOWN, IT CAN ONLY BE TONED”

Hibiki is then fed by multiple classmates for this statement.

The Anime Janai crew is fond of Hibiki, much like a group of Lords being fond of the royal court jester. Hibiki clowns it up by working on a report she procrastinated until the very last minute. “Your life sure is an anime!”, one of them says. Hibiki then says, “I wish!”. They smile in unison at the irony.

Look at how they mock the threads of reality. Absolute monsters.

Hibiki nails the report at the skin of her teeth, Miku’s gonna get ready for the meteor shower, everyone’s real fucking happy, the evening looks peaceful, all is well.

“i cant wait to do all these fun things we promised several times over!”

Unfortunately, the worst case scenario happens.

Her tiddies start ringing.

“no.... fuck.... my tiddies... they’re ringing...”

She knows now she cannot go.

In retrospect, she probably could’ve blown them off. I mean, what are they gonna do? Fire her? She’s practically irreplaceable. Alas, her conscience is too strong. The ringing from her tiddies too loud to ignore.

“okay im back for the thing you promised we’d do repeatedly that we planned for a good amount of weeks now”

“...”

“i got fucking ghosted didnt i”

“cannot fucking believe i got ditched on my hot date with hibiki. bet its because her tiddies rang, isnt it. always her and her... GODDAMN tiddies ringing ALL THE TIME. LET ME BE WITH HER... god...”

“bae. im sorry. the tiddies rang. i have no choice.”

Miku tries to keep it together. Neither of them are happy about this state of affairs, and rightfully so, because it’s fucking stupid. Hell, it would have made more sense of Miku knew but still got jealous anyway, because she feels her job is establishing too much distance! And they talk those problems out instead of issues that only arise if everyone’s a goddamn moron about communication!

“but thats the point of the pl-”

NO! IT’S NOT CLEVER! IT’S FRUSTRATING! THERE ARE CLEVER WAYS TO SHOW A LACK OF COMMUNICATION BESIDES A CHAIN OF OBSTACLES TOO STUPID TO EXIST!

Miku takes the whole thing with grace even though I’m absolutely certain she threw her phone at the wall in raw, gay frustration.

Hibiki, understandably, is pretty fucking pissed.

“im gay. im angry, and im gonna fuck yall up for RUINING MY DATE AFTER HAVING FINISHED MY DAMN REPORT”

Hibiki fights the Noise. She’s gotten slightly better at fighting, but for now she’s still sorta trash at it. A grape themed Noise throws bombs and crushed her under rocks from a ceiling.

You’re a student. You’re the lone survivor of a concert that you got flak about for years. You go to an institution for singing with your best friend and basically get shoved into a life of crime fighting unwittingly. Your only teammate hates you and tried to kill you. You don’t get to hang out with your best friend anymore. Your teachers hate you. And you’re losing against the abominations that may have potentially warped your life negatively, forever.

This is probably the pivotal moment where Hibiki fucking snaps and decides she ain’t taking shit anymore. She’s not at her strongest yet, but mentally? She has decided to tell the world to go fuck itself.

“MY WIFE THINKS IM CHEAAAAAATING, MY TEAMMATE THINKS I SUUUUUUUUUCK, AND I’M SICK AND TIRED OF IT”

My, Hibiki, what big fangs you have. All the more to grit your teeth and beat the shit out of things with, I assure you.

Needless to say, even without having the skill, she’s starting to understand and get more comfortable with the full extent of the power her suit provides her.

She’s gotten so mad that even the illustrators are afraid of her.

To note: this isn’t just anime drama silhouette stylization. She is actually physically turning into a red eyed shadow. You’ll know why later down the road.

“YOU WANNA FUCKIN FIGHT ME NOW TSUBASA? HUH? HUH? YOU WANNA FUCKIN’ FIGHT ME?!”

Needless to say, her rampage goes on for a while.

She manages to dispatch all the Noise except for the Grape themed one. Up in the hole it made, she sees the meteor fall from the sky...

Wait, look closer. Is it a bird?

A plane?!

No, it’s...!

“i aint gonna tell her i just did a wish on her”

Sword!

“why the fuck does SHE get jetpacks?!”

Hibiki randomly yells out she wants to protect things too, for absolutely no real reason. Who would even break the ice with that. Hibiki, please.

They sorta stare each other down in a field awkwardly, like a bad high school reunion. But, a mysterious voice breaks out of literally fucking nowhere.

“didnt know they legalized gay marriage in japan already, otherwise id be showing up to this joke of a marriage sooner, you absolute buffoons”

“did this bitch just insinuate id waste my time getting married to this complete idiot, let alone even contemplate getting married in a public park as opposed to having a customized karaoke based marriage in the FUCKING HILTON?!”

“hey time out dont say that shit im already married and my wife already feels enough like im cheating so please keep those comments to yourself okay please”

“eat my ass, nerds. id tell you to come to the park in 15 minutes for an ass kicking...

but we’re already here, now aren’t we?”

[palmettoes]

Choke by I don’t how but they found me. Fuck U by archive. Coma baby by Nicole dollanger. Medication by young blud. The drugs by mother mother. Could have been me by the struts. Body by mother mother. Bang by armchair cynics. My heart goes bum bum bum by flatsound. Everyone but you by the front bottoms. The weight by amber run. Guillotine by Jon Bellion. Crush by Tessa violet. Forest fire by Brighton. Mars by sleeping at last. It will come back by hoizer. Flaws by bastille. & AddictOfTheGallery

damn anon went OFF bless u this took me so long to reply to cause i had to listen to every song all the way through buT here we go thank u (it’s under the cut bc there was a Lot to unpack here)

send me andreil song recs and i’ll tell you my favourite line

choke: this !!! is the best song i’ve ever heard for book 1 andreil omg !!!!! “lock the fire escapes / i’ll break your pretty face” oh thIS is a good andrew @ neil line, plus the entire chorus SCREAMS andrew on meds especially “if i could burn this town / i wouldn’t hesitate to smile while you suffocate and die”

fuck u: djrjfhdjs im gonna be honest i didn’t add this one bc it was too mean and i’m weak for soft love bUT this line “makes me sick when i hear all the shit that you say / so much crap coming out it must take you all day” yeah i can see andrew saying that to neil sjdjf

coma baby: liSTEN did i ASK for this im cjfdyrjfd this is so sad WHAT okay like “i wish i’d find all the lonely remnants of you that left when your head cracked open” that line is pure poetry anyway but applied to andreil ??? im in pain ???? and “you’re just the shell of the boy that you’ve been” oKAY FUCK OFF IM CRYING

medication: (blows a kiss to ellie bc yungblud is her bf) oh mannn this as an andrew song works ?? so well ??? like “doctor says don’t fight that feeling / but my head is stuck to the ceiling” mmm andrew while high? i think yes ,,, and “my heart is a bomb / it just ticks along” yeah YEAH that makes me think of him insTANTLY

the drugs: OH SHIT YEAH this is what im talking about !!!!!! “cause you’re hotter than the sun / and you’re better than the drugs i used to love” damn yeah say it loUDER neil is hot and andrew loves him thanks fr coming to this collaborative ted talk

could have been me: OOF this is ,, a big mood for both of them ngl i mean the chorus ?? fits them both so well ??? and “don’t wanna live as an untold story / rather go out in a blaze of glory” neil is that u ???? also “dodging bullets with your broken past” is a good summary for the series tbh

body: like firstly this song is just a whole mood for me anyway “take my heart, pull it apart” thAts an andreil line if ever i heard one also “take my lungs / take them and run” my brain just violently yeeted an image of neil at me when i heard this

bang: aahhhh this one !!!! oh my god !!!!! “baptised by your kiss and now i’m born again / bite your lip / wrap my hands around your head and pull you in” is my favourite part bc that !! is so andreil !!!! but also “i need your kiss like the ocean needs a breeze” and “break the skin cause i can’t tell where your body ends and mine begins” are big moods for these two

my heart goes bum bum bum: yes YES okay so many good lines in this honestly but my favourites are “you smell like the devil but you feel like the lord” bc wow imagery and also andrew @ neil ,,, also “i didn’t dodge all your bullets / just denied that they hit me” yeAH andrew wrote this line u can’t convince me otherwise. but of course the REAL kicker is “the only reason you breathe is to sleep through the night / the only reason you speak is to tell me i’m fine” i me an yall know EXACTLY who im thinking of huh ,,,

everyone but you: duDE i love the front bottoms ahsdhfjs i never twigged this as an andreil song but ??? “i fell in love cause no one saw me the way you did / and no one’s seen me that way since” oh bitCH U RIGHT

the weight: first, thanks for putting the imagery of neil waking up early and watching andrew slowly wake up thats so soft asjdfjds also “i don’t want money and i don’t want god / i just want to live under the weight of your love” that is such a HEAVY romantic line and i love it for them

guillotine: coincidentally this is already on my andreil playlist jsjdsj i loVE IT my favourite is “the secrets you tell me i’ll take to my grave / there’s bones in my closet but you hang stuff anyway” like the bones in the closet metaphor is a GOOD one for andreil and obviously secrets ,,, u kno ,,, go d this song is so so good for them fjsjd im falling in love with it all over again

crush: oH this is such a haPPY vibe for andreil like ,, they’re so intense in canon sometimes i forget that andrew minyard really just has a massive crush on neil fjfshdjf they’re such doRKS anyway “i can’t focus on what needs to get done / i’m on notice hoping that you don’t run” uhHH andrew throughout the series just like being unable to do ANYTHING bc he can’t stop thinking about neil

forest fire: fuCK this is another sad one what !! are you doing to me !!! im crying !!!! fjasj but again so many good andreil lines like “i’m not strong / i should have saved you” and “i hope you know / that you’re my home / but now i’m lost” andrew mood during the riot + neil disappearing !!!!!! i think my favourite tho is “i’m gonna carry your bones / i’m gonna carry them all / i’m gonna carry you home” like thanks thinking about this is making me CRY but i love it

mars: this is also sad but like ,, soft ,,, like “we found our way back home / let our cuts and bruises heal” hell yeah they did !!!! they did that !!! they’re healing !!! and “there is goodness in the heart of every broken man / who comes right up to the edge of losing everything he has” this is a good mantra for the foxes in general i feel anyway im in pAIN

it will come back: hozier ,,, that’s my bitch ,,,, noah fence but my heart beats to the tempo of this song but anYWAY for andreil i love the line “i’ve known the warmth of your doorways / through the cold i’ll find my way back to you” but also the whole “don’t let it in with no intention to keep it” is definitely andrew @ neil lbr

flaws: this is on my playlist already too oh mAN this is just like THE andreil song asjdj it’s so good ,, the part that always gets me going is “there’s a hole in my soul / can you fill it?” because um yeah ,, but i also love “look at the wonderful mess that we made / we pick ourselves undone” anyway like these boys are so good for each other can u beLIEVE

addict of the gallery: aaaa this is making me sad again sjdsjjd there are some truly beautiful lines here i love “i’m hanging up in a room full of silence / bleeding colours from the pain and the violence” and “i’m a complicated mess that i’ve come to accept” they remind me a lot of andrew rhjfsj i love him so much but he makes me cry

[sol1056]

I think all yall choreograph the asks or something. I seem to get the same topic in batches. This time, two non-anon and one anon (not counting DMs even), so I’m just going to wrap it all up together since there was a lot of overlap. 

behind the cut: where I get ideas, beta readers, writing ahead, writing fast, editing fast, dealing with OCs, writing emotional scenes, and how I learned to write. questions about publishing and agents will be in the followup.

where do you get your ideas

the ‘what if’ questions. the source might vary -- a story if it’s fanfic, or history if it’s profic. by what-if, I mean a throwaway comment, implication, plot hole, gap, or missed chance. what if the characters end canon with this other dynamic, what if the protagonist goes left instead of right at a crucial moment, what if Lý Chiêu Hoàng hadn’t been deposed as queen regnant, what if Nobunaga had survived the attack at Honnō-ji, what if Nyi Roro Kidul had founded her own people, etc. 

from there, I stage that moment in my head like a fractal, seeking out the most interesting ways everything could go wrong. what I'm looking for is an image, a bit of dialogue, capturing that moment of sacrifice, betrayal, a twist in some way. this either ends up as the precipitating event, the midpoint, or the finale (basically one of the three pivotal emotional points). then I work backwards from there. for ffic, I need to figure out how characters get from canon to that point; for profic, I figure out what kind of characters would end up there. 

do you have a beta reader

uhm. not really? I’ve asked for help a few times, when I’m not sure of a particular characterization, but other than the first chapter of Bonds (for reasons I’ll explain in the followup), I don’t usually bother. after all, it’d be horribly rude to send off a chapter and then expect anyone to respond inside of a week. let alone a few days. I envy people who have the patience to wait on a beta reader ‘cause I feel like their stories are tighter as a result, but since there are small amazonian frogs with more patience than me, I figure what I write must stand or fall on its own.

however, I do tend to bestow snippets liberally on whomever’s talking to me online while I write, and I pay attention to their reactions. in fanfic, I’ll also sometimes run a scenario past a few people to see if their gut instinct on a characterization matches mine. that might be a kind of narrow-focus beta reading, maybe.

do you write some/all before you post

nope. I totally post-as-I-go (and yes that does mean at some point I was writing about 6K nightly, I’m not proud). if you said I had to write the entire thing, edit carefully, review, even let it sit for awhile before posting, I’d probably hurt something. or I’d just explode from the enforced waiting.

for profic first draft (or fanfic final draft, same thing), I plan 2-3 chapters in advance. then I write until the word count hits 6K or so, call it a chapter, post, and start on the next chapter. I do that until I run out of plan. then I assess again, figure out the next few chapters’ plan, and repeat until the story feels done.

how do you write so fast 

because a) I type fast, and b) you’re reading what’s effectively the first draft. writing that first go-round is always quick. I just sit down and spit out words. it’s polishing it into profic-levels, that editing phase, that can take weeks, even months. I’ve written pivotal scenes from scratch five, six, seven times if that’s what it takes. you’re just benefiting from my laziness with fanfic, basically.

how do you edit so fast

actually, I don’t. I tend to do it in fits and starts. even fanfic, if you compared first version posted with the current version, you’ll find changes here and there. mostly smoothing choppy parts, disambiguating, or just clarifying a muddy description. sometimes readers report a phrase felt wrong, or didn’t make sense, and I’ll tweak the offending line. 

there are tricks to make it easier, though. 

for profic, I write in scrivener, with a font of Open Sans, Lato, or Avenir, depending on my mood. a first pass of editing for the glaring issues, then I shift to full-screen display and change the font to Baskerville Old Face, Perpetua, or Oregon LDO. the radical font-change means sentences don’t end visually where they did before, and the serif element means I have to slow down slightly to read, a lot more will leap out at me. with fanfic, I write in google docs and post in AO3, but otherwise the font-changing process is similar.  

how do you keep OCs from taking over

an OC is just a character who was -- or might’ve been -- in canon but had no lines. they’re third person from the left, in that crowd scene in episode 17. they occupy the same world, and they have a story of their own -- it’s just not this story. they have a goal, but the core question is: does their goal support or conflict with the protagonist? there’s the tension those OCs can provide. 

on a more basic level, just don’t give them POV, and remember they exist to push the protagonist forward, or hold the protagonist back. if the reverse happens -- the protagonist pushes the OC forward, or holds the OC back -- then you’ve made the OC a major character and now the story’s warping to suit their goals. the focus must remain on the protagonist; it’s their story, after all.  

how do you write a character’s emotion so the reader feels it

use restraint. a scene’s strongest emotion lies in the gaps between what the characters are telling and what they’re showing. restraint is how you create those gaps.

avoid the impulse to ever say the character feels anger, feels joy. instead, have the character do something or say something that expresses the emotion. 

also, either we acknowledge an emotion, or we don’t. the first has no conflict, kiss of death for tension. the second, though, that’s basically a fight scene: the conflict is between the character and their own emotions. the key is choosing between word and deed to show the character’s purpose (narration or dialogue vs action). whatever’s left becomes the other half of the conflict. 

use scent, taste, sensation, sight, sound to project the emotion, distance it from the character. like, they can breathe fine but the air is stuffy. their hand isn’t shaking; the paper just won’t hold still. leave it to the reader to draw a line between the narrative’s tone and the character’s mental/emotional state.  

second, keep the sentences relatively short. think of the jump cuts in a filmed fight scene (or sex scene) -- you don’t need to see every move. that gets boring, fast. show only enough for the reader to connect the dots; what they put in the gaps will always be far more powerful for them than anything you'll achieve when spelling it all out. 

here’s the real challenge, and one of the hardest kinds of scenes to write (but so satisfying when you nail it) -- a character who acknowledges one emotion while denying the truth beneath. this is the character who’s furious but refuses to admit the hurt powering that anger. or the character who’s happy on the surface but jealous or broken-hearted beneath.  

my advice: overwrite the scene, take it to eleven... and then go back and cut one line in every four of dialogue, then do the same in the narrative. keep only the strongest lines. do another pass. keep going until the scene is down to a quarter the original length, and see what you’ve got. 

how do you write so well

err, okay, setting aside the discomfort of being asked that -- ‘cause I see flaws all over the place, starting with just plain overwriting, srsly, is that word count really necessary -- whatever skill I do have, I learned in one simple way.  

by critiquing other writers, and getting critiques in turn.

not beta-readers -- my experience with beta readers is that they don’t really tackle the story, though they may comment on characterization. mostly I’ve only ever gotten line edits (spelling, grammar, punctuation) and... that’s not really a critique, that’s a copy editor’s work. it’s valuable, but not what I mean.

a critique analyzes the work. they mark illogical or unrealistic dialogue, note missed opportunities for rising tension, point out potential plot holes or discrepancies. a good critique is sensitive to spikes and lulls in the pacing, and at a line-level it’s often attuned to repetition or ambiguity in word choice, muddy metaphors, even the ���sound’ of the prose.

for every critique you do, you’re training your inner editor. I don’t catch everything (certainly never on the first pass), but having a stronger inner editor means being able to reflexively identify weaknesses. plus, exposure to other stories teaches you ways to fix those mistakes. to the point I sometimes edit as I write ‘cause I can already see what needs fixing.  

lastly

if you want to write better, read better. critique everything. 

this is not criticism, this is critique. this is why I post meta about whatever I’m reading/watching. by approaching a story through that analytical lens, I can peel apart what works (for me) and what fails (for me) and study my reaction. the goal is to duplicate what works and avoid what doesn’t.

you can’t learn to build a car engine just by looking at the outside of a car, after all. you gotta get in there, get the dirt and grease up to your elbows. take it down to the bolts, understand how it got put together. the same goes for writing. never be afraid to take apart anyone’s stories to see how they work. 

and then, go write.

[lizziebennet]

what didn't you like about fantastic beasts? or haha this might be easier, what did you like?

fjfjjfjfjfjjfjfjf lmaoooooooooo tbh the story was just very underdeveloped like there were just a lot of plot holes which is one of the things i absolutely adore about harry potter: the magic has rules and it makes sense. the bullshit at the end when they erased the memories of the ENTIRE POPULATION OF NEW YORK....... was so sloppy lmao. a lot of the stuff w MACUZA didnt make sense at all like the way they sentenced tina and newt TO DEATH immedAITELY for what they did ... and even if they did have the dealth penalty like why the fuck would it be that weird complicated system and not just like poison or something??? there was stuff like that that just didnt make sense or feel real which was so disappointing because again one of my fave things about harry potter is the way everything makes sense and is logical and believable even tho its magic 

the final battle w the obscurus was just like random destruction act three battle like you would see in a superhero movie and i wanted something more intellectual and interesting from harry potter!!!! 

i feel like jkr doesnt really... understand america like idk it didnt really feel like 1920s new york and ill neVER get over the lack of diversity when this was at a time in history when the immigrant population of new york was huge like. what are we DOING HERE. and i get the stuff w credence and the obscurial is like a metaphor for being oppressed and like being a minority but like... .im so tired. show me actual diversity jkr. its not enough. 

i also dont understand... like if the whole series is about grindelwald and fighting against him like......... why did we start so removed from that??? like it totally felt like grindelwald was almost an add on to fantastic beasts. there was the FUCKING LAZIEST OPENING IVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE WITH THE NEWSPAPERS JUST BEING LIKE “GRINDELWALD -- HES BAD!! REMEMBER THIS FOR LATER IN THE MOVIE!!!” fuck you david yates!!!! and then the reveal at the end... like..... it just seems like there could be such a more relevant way to set everything up?? 

ive only seen the movie twice (which is very telling itself) so im probably forgetting/misremembering things but it was just so blah! like there were a few good comedic moments and some stuff i liked but overall it barely made an impact and i feel like a lot of people feel the same way because i never seen it get talked about online. i just feel like its such a hugely wasted opportunity like this is HARRY FREAKING POTTER and you’re giving me five new movies in this universe??? can yall maybe slow down and think them out a little more?? like maybe go through a few more drafts of the script??? god 

[the-mf-bread-babies]

1/8/20

VOLUME FOUR, PART TWO~!

WHO ELSE IS WRITING IT?! ROCCO NORTH, BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHAPTER ONE

I CHANGED MY MIND HE DOESN'T GET KIDNAPPED lmao

After their work in protecting the house, the family went to bed. Well, except for Aaron, who watched Damon sleep just in case he died or anything.

The next morning, they woke up peacefully, to the sound of–

EXPLOOOSIIOOONNSSS!!!

Well, SHIT !!! Aaron, passed out from tiredness was still sleeping on the floor, though. “Aaron!! Wake the hell up, there's bombs!!” Damon shouted, repeatedly slapping Aaron's face. “Huh…?” Damon gave up and dragged his dad across the bedroom floor. “Hey, hey, I can walk, dude,” Aaron assured, slowly standing up.

A loud boom echoed throughout the house, alerting them even more. Although, it didn't seem like it came from an explosive, but rather, an impact. Their first thoughts were that NULL was using a battering ram on their front door.

The family assembled in the basement, equipped with weapons and protection. “So, what the hell's goin’ on now?” Gabriel asked. “Man, I thought you were gonna explain it or something.” Damon sighed as he looked at the others. “Dennis?” “I literally was friggin’ shaving when I heard the sounds?” he uselessly explained. “I was performing satanic rituals for the plants.” Lan confessed. “Okay, dad, but seriously, where are these guys?” Aaron grumbled, rubbing his forehead.

CRASH!

A hole formed in the stone basement ceiling as it came crashing down, sunlight shining into the area. A small woman whose grey hair covered her whole body to her knees swiftly emerged from the rubble, dusting herself off and hopping back outside.

“Who. Who was that.” Gabriel asked. “Do we have banshees here?” Lan added. “To my knowledge, the only ghosts related to Irish folklore in this house are the deer leg ladies and the lady who keeps using the washing machine to wash medieval armor.” Aaron explained. “Other than that, nada,”

The family halted their conversation as they heard the sound of multiple people screaming for their lives. “Okay, well, what's that?” Gabriel asked. “I– Dad, I don't even know where the rubble lady came from!” Aaron whined, the screaming still in the background.

ace: “die, bitches!”

“Yeah, pretty sure that's not NULL,” Lan pointed out. “Their agents get shot on sight after using foul language.” He revealed. “Really?” Damon asked, thinking about how bad of an agent he would be if he was recruited. “No, I just made that up.” Lan confessed, smirking. “Why…” Gabriel questioned, looking at him with a disappointed face. “Why not?”

nova: “OOH, A STUN GUN, OH NO!”

“HOWEVER WILL WE MAKE IT OUT ALIVE?!”

“HELP~!”

The four paused, noticing a third person in the fight. “Rude.” Damon commented at the girl's behavior.

sarah: “guys i accidentally fricked up the floor”

“do we have to pay insurance or whatever”

“also whats insurance”

ace: “it's a scam designed for you to die.”

Andre: “What Ace said. Also, pretty sure we don't have to do anything, since this place is a ghost town, anyways.”

jake: “mhm also theres probably horses or w/ever so watch out for that lol”

orc: “I SAW A PILE OF FROGS EARLIER”

j: “or that sometimes yknow”

The family peeked their heads out from inside, eavesdropping on the conversation.

o: “YEA BUT THE THING IS”

“I DONT KNOW HOW TO HOLD FROGS”

sar: “you have to like. gently carry those gentlemen around. palm at the side, fingers supporting their body and your thumb keeps them in place, orc, my friend,”

a: “ALSO SPRAY THE BITCHES!”

s: “yea spray them they like it it's fun n stuff”

andre: “Where. Where's the little froggies.”

j: “idk im scared”

a: “coward”

o: “ALSO SCARED OF FROGS”

“THEY ARE METAPHORICALLY CHILDREN”

s: “explain”

o: “SMALL AND CAN DIE EASILY ALSO WEIRDLY SLIMY AND SOFT”

andre: “Babies aren't slimy tho…”

o: “FLORIDA”

an: “oh ok”

“NULL doesn't usually talk about frogs.” Dennis pointed out. “They don't.” Damon agreed. “Also, they don't have members that tall. Or short.” Aaron commented. “Rebel gang?” Lan suggested. Gabriel squinted his eyes, staring at the group. “Last time I checked, undercover NULL agents, even if they exist, don't hide that kind of hair under their helmets. That kid next to the banshee there definitely does not have helmet hair, I mean, the volume and all…”

“hmm? i think those are peeeoopleeee” “guyss” The stylish hair kid pointed out. “cuz i dont think horses look like that!!!!!!!” they exclaimed, strutting towards the basement. “im scared” “help” “yall” “yall means all” they continued, facing their group. “Well, damn, Ace, if it's a horse, give it a carrot or something.” another voice said nonchalantly.

“meanie” “ill kill u” Ace threatened threateningly. “I CAN GO WITH YOU IF YOU WANT!!” A voice offered politely. “thanks nova!!!!!!! andre u can choke” Ace thanked, proceeding with Nova to the basement, the family anxiously awaiting them.

Ace had a normal, skinny, 5'7"-ish body, and they had a sharp jaw and small eyes. Their hair was brightly colored, with brown roots turning into an orange and then into a red, with yellow tips. They were wearing a gray vest above a loose black sleeveless shirt. Also jeans and shoes. Ace is not naked or something.

Nova, on the other hand, towered over Ace. She wore a trucker hat that pushed down her thick hair enough to cover her eyes, and it was tied into two big puffs. Her hair was dyed different shades of green in small spots, making it look like a small, bright shrub sitting on her head. She wore a denim jacket with lots of enamel pins stuck to it. Beneath that was a grey t-shirt, and below that were ripped jeans and UGG boots… somehow, in the amalgamated world.

“Hi! We're the Russell family!” Aaron welcomed, nearly giving them heart attacks by LOON∆ i should listem to that again. “What the fuck?!” Andre remarked, leading the rest into the basement. He was wearing a silky-looking black button-up shirt with a red tie with dress shoes, and his dreadlocks were neatly tied back. He certainly wore a fancy look for raiding NULL bases.

“Yeah, I'm Aaron, this is my dad Gabriel, my dad Lan, my husband Dennis, and my son, (no matter what,) Damon. We have 36 cats and countless ghosts here. Please proceed with caution, most of these babies are strictly indoors-only!”

The group stared at them in shock, unable to believe anything Aaron just said. “How… do you get… 36 cats…” Andre asked. “We used to have a pet shop. It fell down, though, so that's that.” Dennis answered casually. “like. how. like fell down into space” A blue-haired man asked, earning him Damon's full attention.

“Yeah, into space.” Gabriel said. “Just straight down.” Lan elaborated, “No stops or anything, just ZOOP!” “Yeah, that's why we moved into a haunted mansion.” Aaron added. “So, what group are you guys in?” he asked, making a head shoot up in surprise from one of them.

He had gelled blue hair parted in the middle, and his right eye seemed like it had something inserted in it. He wore a dark blue denim jacket with ripped off sleeves and very short, tight jorts. He also had black wristbands, indicating a past emo phase. Or one that's still ongoing, as made obvious by his combat boots.

“oh its kinda indie u guys. u guys probably dont know it :,(” The blue-haired man said sadly, pouting. “We're called the…” Andre began. “C'mon, Jakey, say it.” “no its dumb” he grumbled. “skullsmashers. it's because we smash people's skulls. metaphorically.” Ace explained, asking Jake for confirmation. “right, 8-ball?”

“we really dont......” Jakey/8-Ball said sadly. “Oh, you named us this, Jakey, honey,” Andre contested. “So why can't we smash people's skulls? Like, clearly, I can take the emotional trauma or whatever, as long as it's NULL, or hell, maybe even some dipshit, I can do that.” he added softly.

“Ah, pretty sure they're not NULL,” Lan said, smiling. “So, did you kill them all of them or what?” he asked as he raised his weapon, a mace he was somehow managing to hold with ease. Like. A mace with spikes. Ace nervously played with their hair, sporting a terrified face. “what!?” they exclaimed in a high-pitched voice. “We can definitely take care of them. How do you think this place is officially a ghost town?” Gabriel asked. “Setting up traps and making friends with the local ghosts go a long way, y'know,”

“There's fucking ghosts?!” Andre exclaimed, pulling out daggers from under his arms. “Yeah, but they're nice, so it's okay.” Damon explained with not a trace of fear in his eyes, making Andre slowly put the daggers back in. “Oh, by the way, if you guys see an arm there, could you get it for me?” he requested politely, “And honestly, I'd like to make a pun with lending hands, but I can't seem to put my finger on which one I'd make.” He added, raising his bandaged stump.

“Oh, Jake, don't–” Andre warned before Jake fainted instantly from seeing the bloody bandages on Damon's wound. “I'm sorry,” he apologized. The fainting had sent Aaron quickly went to the operating room, just now realising that he hasn't changed the bandages yet. “uh lemme go check if theres any” the small woman said, scuttling away. “Thanks,” Damon said before following Aaron.

Dennis, Lan, and Gabriel stood awkwardly in front of The Skullsmashers, not knowing what to do. “So, uh, whaddya do?” Dennis asked, folding his hands together. “gamign” Ace quickly responded. “Well, we each tend to go our own ways, but occasionally we team up to raid NULL bases and stuff.” Andre explained, ignoring Ace's statement. “What about you guys?”

“Ah, so I like gardening, and also do some baking from time to time, and Gabriel here used to be a traveling psychic, but now he tends to help me with errands and chores and sometimes we communicate with the ghosts here. Dennis and Aaron used to run a pet shop near here, but now Dennis does some farming, and Aaron spends his spare time caring for our pets.” Lan explained.

“And I do the groceries! And all the other stuff that involves going outside,” Damon intervened, coming back with an anxious, squeaky-clean Aaron. “Which is why my arm got cut off.” he revealed, sitting down on the wooden floor. “ok im back did i miss anything :'//” Jake asked, waking up from his faint earlier. “… we'll catch up later.” Andre replied.

“arm!!!” The banshee yelled out excitedly, waving a cooler back and forth. “Great! Just toss it down,” Aaron said happily, reaching his arms out. Seeing this, Damon ran to the operating room. “Last one's a rotten egg!” he shouted, snickering. “Well, while they work on that, do you guys maybe wanna come in and grab a snack?” Gabriel suggested politely, eager to learn more about the group. “yea sure!! thanks!!” said Jake, who was joyfully running to the front door.

A large figure stood patiently outside the door, belonging with the Skullsmashers. It seemed like a gentle giant, tapping its index fingers together. It was definitely from another world. It had greenish grey skin, and its head was blocky and looked like it was separate from his large jaw that had two moles on it. Its eyes were big and white, and above them were thick eyebrows. And it was wearing what seemed to be a large, furry, ruff reaching his knees that were covered by jorts. Its shoulders were completely covered with a large spiky red boulder on each one. The creature was ten feet tall, and was very strong.

At last, the large doors opened with a creak, the sunlight from outside shining brightly into the house. It was the first time in years that the front doors were opened, and it was for good; they had stayed in there for too long.

CHAPTER TWO

A PROPER INTRODUCTION

The family and the group were sitting in the dining hall, awaiting the arrival of Aaron and Damon. A shit ton of homemade potato chips were strewn across a long plate in the middle as the main course. Lan had prepared a variety of dipping sauces and some napkins. They sat in silence.

“I don't mean to be rude or anything, but how… are you guys still alive?” Andre asked cautiously, starting a conversation. Gabriel dipped a chip in cheese sauce, then thought of a simple answer: “We really just hide and plant stuff. Also, we were really lucky.”

Nova played around with a fork, debating whether these people were real or not. Yes, NULL couldn't possibly use their precious budget to make intricately designed haunted houses with personal touches and residents whose personalities were very unique, as well as their relationship with each other, but, hell, maybe they can.

NULL always had a way to worm themselves everywhere, down to the place she stayed in, the people she knows, and, well, really, everywhere. Even if this family was what they presented themselves as, NULL could do lots of things to not only dishevel Nova and the group she was in, as well as this family, they can manipulate both of them to destroy each other. After all, that's the kind of thing they do– get someone else to do their dirty work.

Nova made up her mind, opting to ask them directly. “I also really don't mean to be rude, but given the large amount of undercover NULL agents and all the different ways they come as, I just have to ask… and this is a very dumb, and useless question, but are you guys in any way… involved with NULL?”

Dennis smiled lightly, understanding that this group was in the same deliberation as they were. “To be honest, we were gonna ask you that too at some point, but I personally don't think NULL agents would look this…” “well, they wouldn't, like… have wrists this limp.”

The room was silent for a while, before erupting with laughter. “You– you fuckin’ thought we weren't NULL because–” Andre struggled, wheezing. “No NULL agent would dress like that, Andre,” Gabriel pointed out, snickering. “Yeah, you think those idiots can achieve this level of interior design?!” Lan added, gesturing wildly towards every piece of furniture in the hall.

“… But really, to answer your question there, yeah, we are technically involved with NULL,” Dennis said, completely changing the atmosphere of the room. “We're classified as Class-4 criminals for, um, giving some of their agents here some mild inconveniences.” he added in a serious tone. “And by mild inconveniences, I mean a few cases of attempted murders, robberies, hauntings, and other stuff like that.” The group sighed a breath of relief, knowing they were both on the same page.

“I have to say, 45 cases of attempted murder and two cases of successful murder does sort of count as a bit more than a mild inconvenience, though, Dennis,” Lan said jokingly. “Oh, and remember when someone planted poison ivy that somehow mysteriously completely wrapped around the whole base they had here, down to the basement?” he added, grinning. “Okay, well let's not compare our crimes here, dad,” Dennis teased. “Everybody knows mine was the best attack yet when I trapped them inside the base by encasing it with raw eggs! somehow” he added, cackling.

The two families had a great time together, laughing and talking about their experiences in the new lives they lived caused by the amalgamation. Meanwhile, Aaron was carefully reattaching an arm to an unconscious Damon. After some hard work, he succeeded, and did his best to celebrate in the operating room.

However, at this point, he became too tired to do so, considering the fact that he alone performed an entire surgery. Still, it was a miracle for both of them. He waited for Damon to wake up and see the finished product, but he ended up passing out while making a celebratory coffee.

The two slept well and endlessly. The rest of the family, however, were faced with a tough decision to make. Dennis, Gabriel, and Lan had the same question echo in their minds:

“Would you like to consider joining us, The Skullsmashers?”

It was a question Andre always asked to those who he saw potential in, no matter who– or whom, no idea. They could be two friends living in a dilapidated house with rats and mice, or three odd creatures in a grocery store, or even some nervous teenager who suddenly asked him to kill someone in the middle of his New Year's Eve party.

It's not that he simply sees something out of the ordinary happen and immediately hands out flyers, but it's that Andre has been gifted with an eye for this type of thing– take, for example, the situation at hand.

Andre raids a NULL base with his friends. The fight continues into the abandoned city the base was in. His friend lands into a basement of a house. Sarah, the friend, points out that there are people living in said house. Said people are clearly weird.

Resident asks for his arm back. Very weird. Still little to no potential, except maybe for interior design. Residents invite them for dinner. Residents have knives and shit.

Potential spotted. nah jk lemme do this again lol

[TAKE TWO]

Okay, okay. Andre doesn't just see people doing weird shit and immediately hires them, contract and all, but instead he observes them further.

If he sees someone hurling flaming batons into the sky, that person does have potential, yes, definitely, but what kind? This style of combat could definitely be a possibility in their attacks, given the practicality and the ostentatiousness of it.

However, it's an art one could hardly practice. The perils one could face are far too much for such a display. But, even though it's inconvenient, it's still very useful. If there was a good amount of accelerant on the baton, an enemy could not only receive a strong blow, but the added accelerant will most likely set them on fire too, rendering them not only useless in further combat (unless they're a very determined individual) but also a potential threat to anyone near them.

And the fact that a person is employed as the weapon is more convenient than, say, a large flaming baton-throwing machine, which would be difficult to program and to bring to an attack.

However, Andre also has to consider the person (itself? themselves? idk man) in an approach. Maybe they're NULL, or maybe even just someone who wants to throw flaming stuff into the air with no deeper meaning or intent. Maybe this person is unsuitable for combat; maybe this person is an enemy or a rival.

The approach is like a job interview– ask them about their experience in the field, if they have any other [good points?? is good points the word], if they're okay with joining the group– but sadly, he lives in a world where anything wildly good or wildly bad can happen, and it makes the whole process a whole lot more harder.

So, maybe these people inviting them over for a meal might give them a new addition or two. Or, sadly, remove some members.

Will the Russell family join The Skullsmashers? The decision has to be made any second now.

• end •

[notafrogblog]

here it is, copy and pasted verbatim from the google doc:

(feel free to ask questions about this :3 a lot of it won’t make any sense bc yall can’t see the info doc or my current wip)

Phil backstory, more tommy and techno backstory

More on wilbur’s uni

Fundy and how shifter magic works

Figure out wtf is going on with niki

WHAT IS THE HUNT YOU BASTARD

Eras?? What is the timeline here

HOW OLD IS WILBUR. HOW OLD IS PHIL. HOW OLD IS TECHNO

WHERE THE HELL DID TOMMY EVEN COME FROM

Also tommy’s existence implies some sort of magic pressure vaguely like air pressure/density/temperature relations so coming up with something based off of that would be cool

WHAT IS AN ENCHANTED SKELETON FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

YOU MENTIONED PUFFY THAT ONE TIME NOW TALK ABOUT HER

The other five protection casts (beth, ayin, he, saketh, daleth)

Lavawalkers??

lavastriders??

You have not thought ONCE about where Wilbur’s setting point during his travels is and it shows

Stop taking ideas from FUCKING MINECRAFT

Your brain came up with off-brand egypt why isnt that described yet i want eternal duo

Piglin hierarchies?? And dont u dare plagiarize orphan’s path be original for once in ur life

I know i said shifters already but SHIFTERS OMG

DRAGONS????? ITS NOT FANTASY WITHOUT A DRAGON OR TWO

yo what up wid dat wyrm in da lava lake

Ley lines baby. magic train system work, hmm?

Development of technology (this is the problem with making an au that lasts several thousand years)

On the topic of technology i want steampunk can we have steampunk please

Greek city-state -esque governments. How they work tho

WHAT THE HELL ARE THE ELDERS?????

MAGIC MOUNTAINS??? STOP MAKING SHIT UP ISTG

WHAT IN THE FRESHLY FRIED FUCK IS A VOID-HOLE

You want to add ranboo and tubbo. I know you want to add ranboo and tubbo.

Fuckign uhhhhhhh what about the mer??????

Also tieflings??? Bc those exist apparently????

can u draw a map of the world yet or is that too hard :( stop being depressed. want to art :((

HOW THE FUCK IS A WILDLING MADE.

WILBURS UNI PROFESSOR?? AND TEACH MORE MAGIC TO THE READERS

You talked about the loss of wild places once. Are you going to do that again or

Stop making metaphors about homophobia istg

How the nether not collapsing with all the earthquakes huh?? You think of that??

Why did you add canonical time travel you just made things so much more complicated

The addition of furbies means that 1. Theyre magic furbies (awful. horrendous) OR 2. Computers exist and therefore the phoenicians exist (its a long story) which messes up the use of the phoenician alphabet in the magic system. so whats it gonna be bozo

would any of you be interested in seeing the current list of things i need to add to the glyphverse info doc

[mercurialsmile]

list of awful things in smut

-pebbled peaks 

-fuckin. BUNDLE OF NERVES FULL STOP the prostate is a GLAND people a GLAND 

-mounds, mountains, fun/fat bags, milk jugs... how tf do yall make breasts so sound fucking nasty please stop 

-any sort of sentence abt balls slapping ass or?? honestly it just makes me laugh 

-legit pointing out how many inches someone’s dick is. seriously did their partner just whip out a ruler in the middle of sex like what 

-same thing as above, but when about the size of breasts. seriously

-any sort of sentence about a dick being inserted into the clitoris. like... pls.... just... look up some stuff on biology and human bodies, okay? the clit isnt a hole holy shit its basically the vagina’s version of a dick 

-someone who has a vagina cumming from dick alone.

-NOT!! LUBING!! THE ASS!! ASSES DON’T SELF LUBE MY DUDES MY GUYS unless you’re into... no wait im not typing that never mIND 

-AND NO BLOOD AND SALIVA DOES NOT WORK AS LUBE UNLESS THE PERSON GETTING THE DICKING WANTS SOME GRADE A PAIN 

-Stating how many minutes a couple has fucked for like... what... 

-spelling out literally every single moan 

-kissing only on the mouth come on my dudes

-HAVING NORMAL CONVERSATIONS AS IF THEYRE NOT FUCKING like whats even the POINT then 

-valley between the breasts. its not terrible completely just r overused 

-”TONGUES BATTLING FOR DOMINANCE.” STOP. IT WASN’T A GOOD METAPHOR TO BEGIN WITH 

-”expert fingers” 

-okay ik i’m guilty of this but don’t point out that the characters are blushing every few paragraphs, ‘k? 

-people w dicks need some recharge time before the next fuckening mkay 

-”pink nub” in reference to nipples. just say fucking nipple my dude my guys its not a bad word you’re writing a SEX SCENE a nipple shouldn’t be your biggest worry 

-”meat stick” “rod “shaft” “length” “member” pls... stick to dick or, imo, even better, cock. pls just. stop. 

-the only exception to the above imo is that if you’re specifically talking about the shaft of the dick and ONLY that part of the dick 

-vaginas are only so deep and so are asses. unless someone wants a dick in their large intestine, that is. basically, 10 inches wont fit in a vagina you fucks 

-showers are slippery and oftentimes, small 

-as it turns out, walls and hard floors can also hurt 

-as it turns out, its hard to actually lift someone up

-not everyone screams like they’re being murdered when they orgasm, karen 

-ppl dont always cum during the actual fuckening 

-your partners prob wont share all your kinks either most likely 

-seriously tho when you write kinky bullshit make sure it actually has emotion ya know?? its v v easily to loose the emotion when writing some kinky bullshit so watch yourselves out there 

i wanna note this is all my opinion. well. most of it. the prostate is a gland thats a fact and a couple of other points but everything else is opinion 

[sunnmo-moved]

I was tagged by @sanhatation !  ty riles this was rlly fun 

Would you rather explore the many planets in the universe or explore the wondrous depths of our oceans? 

Y'all knOw im a hoe for astronomy,, send me thru those worm holes,, lemme meet those aliens,, frick yes ! The ocean scares me lmao

Can you describe your favorite color without saying what it is and its shades? 

It's like,, royalty and oceans, its either dark or light and its so pretty, theres this like twilight (the time of day yall, u stephanie myers hoes can get outta here) kinda feel to it and its very peaceful!!!

Your bias texts you, mistaking your number for one of their friends. Do you talk to them and keep up an act or do you admit the mistake? How do you do it? What happens after?

Minghao would probably send like a picture of some gucci shi and ask if he should get it and i'd be like "dang boy u got money !" and he'd be like "srry wrong number" but im annoying so i would just,, keep talking to him

 Describe your favorite feature of one of your best friends without saying what it is. Why?

I love the way my best friend just, talks i guess? The conversations we have just always seem to keep going on forever and ever and they come so smoothly and easily and even when theres silence it's comfortable and i really like that !! i like how comfortable we are with each other !

 What super power would you have and how would you use it? Hero or villain?

hOoOO okay I've actually thought about this so much and i'd want super speed !! I always seem to be in a time crunch and like,,, imagine waking up like 10 minutes before school starts and getting there like 5 minutes before the bell rings,, extra sleep ?? yes pls?? And honestly?? Lets be real i wouldnt be a hero or a villan,, i just want super speed to help me with my everyday life

What are three things included in your ideal type? Why? Would you accept someone without these features?

alrighty so my no. 1 is Loyalty, these hoes aint loyal? can't relate, my cowboys gotta have my back  secondly they gotta be funny, i can't hang out with w person who doesn't get jokes, super stupid funny is also appreciated, and also?? the want to actually dO things?? like a sense of adventure!! thats nice n i mean yeah id accept someone without these but like,,, i probably wouldnt want to be with u very often,,, lol

Vampires, werewolves, or witches? If you could become one, which would you choose and why?

W I T CH E S  witches are so cool did you know that beer was basically invented by witches?? Idk if its even true but i like that fun fact so im gonna pretend it is until i feel like actually researching it rjfgwpo anyway being a witch would be so cool like first of all the aesthetic of like alchemy and cauldrons and just hAlloween yknow but also??? magic?? yes 

if you released a mini album with 4 songs, what would the song titles be?

1 Crying™

2 Minghaos Elf Ears R Cute

 3 *7 minute screech*

4 Sore After 20 Situps

Describe what you feel right now by using a metaphor without including the word to describe how you are feeling.

There are tiny storms in the back of my brain, but air is in my lungs and my bones are whole.

Your bias from one group confesses to you in front of your bias from another group. They quickly confess their love. Who do you choose? they cannot be your ult. bias.

*uncomfortable aromantic laughter* listen i love rocky n i love lua but i,, the romance is not 4 this cowboy

Your bias promises to go on a date with you on the condition that you plan it. Plan the entire night (where you go, why, what you eat, what you wear, the other places you go, what you talk about, etc.)

*cracks knuckles* get ready for some good platonic shiz right here yall  Okay so im not much of a uh,, going-out kinda person ig but if we wEre to go out it'd be like an arcade or smth and minghao wld be wearing that rEd hoodie n we'd both be workin black skinny jeans bc  Looks™. I'd also be wearin like a white tshirt and my grey demin jacket bc its comfy af and i Love. We'd spend the night challenging each other to rounds of donkey kong and i'd spend like 30 tokens on the claw machines insisting that im a pro and then i'd finally win like a little frog or smth and give it to him bc he Deserves it. He'd probably also wreck some kid at ddr and then we'd spend an hour on the chance games trying to win 1000 tickets and be jealous of the 12 year old next to us who has like 6000 friggin tickets,, we'd come up wih theories on how the kid hacked the games and got thAt many tickets bc ?? they're riGGed man ur not actually supposed to win. After the arcade we'd probably go get shakes and then sit outside and talk about our favorite books and what they mean to us and stuff. Watch the stars and tell funny stories and maybe just take a walk. At some point i'd probably step on a rolly polly and cry bc i just killed an innocent little bug and minghao wld be like "wtf,,, get up hoe,," and then I feel like we'd end up just like sitting on a bench somewhere n talkin about deep things bc we both seem like we're kinda like that?? Idk I know I like talking about the universe and how the world works and things thay dont make sense to me and hes pretty Woke so he probably does too. It'd be a gt tho

fRickitgrn this was really fun ty again ri for tagging me i loev u and I’ll be tagging @arohawe, @illustre-bin, @lost-tearss, and  @blondshua ! have fun !