#also david winning like 3 of these will never not be funny to me

[500winnerjosefnewgarden]

the wait is finally over. i present to u all: my magnum opus shitpost. 2023 indycar driver superlatives.

[starkwlkr]

silver springs | mark webber

thanks to everyone who voted! like my seb fic, this will only have three parts

part 2 part 3

warning: cheating

requests are closed

INSTRAGRAM

liked by sebastianvettel, landonorris and 563,377 others

yourusername congratulations oscarpiastri on your incredible sprint race win! first win in f1, but it won’t be the last!

oscarpiastri ❤️

papayafans481 DESERVED

teampiastri did anyone see the interview with david coulthard and mark webber?😭

leclerctears what happened??

teampiastri david kept bringing up y/n and mark couldn’t even say her name 🥲 he said mclaren team principal when referring to her

lewis8wdc what the fuck happened between them?🤨 i know they dated I’m guessing they ended on bad terms

op81xx girl they were gonna get married 😭 mark had the ring and even asked y/n’s family for their blessing there’s a thread on twitter about them

aussiegrit ❤️

multi21bitch you ain’t slick old man 🤨

view all 34,366 comments

UNITED STATES GRAND PRIX

Lando had scored a podium finish while Oscar had unfortunately suffered a DNF. After the podium ceremony, you were on your way back to the Mclaren garage when you heard a familiar voice. Mark was speaking with Fernando when you had walked by them. It had been years since you were that close to Mark. Of course he was in the Mclaren garage since he was Oscar’s manager, but you were a pro at avoiding Mark Webber.

You kept walking and finally made it to the garage where you congratulated the team for their effort.

“When was the last time she spoke to you?” Fernando questioned the Aussie. He was great friends with both you and Mark. He was one of many that thought you two would end up getting married. He was utterly shocked when Mark had told him that you were no longer together.

“March twenty fifth twenty thirteen. She blocked my number, she told me I couldn’t contact any of her family members either.” He explained. “I fucked up my life, Fernando.”

No one apart from Mark and you knew the reason for the break up.

“What did you do?”

“I hurt her. After Malaysia happened, y/n tried to comfort me, but I pushed her away. I stayed in the paddock late while y/n was already in our hotel room waiting for me, i told her to just go to sleep but she never listens. I was on my way back and I decided to go to a bar and I met a woman there. . . ”

It didn’t take a genius to know what would happen next.

“Shit, Mark.” Fernando mumbled.

“That’s not even the worst part, mate. I came back to our hotel room in the morning and she had her suitcase packed. She was going back home. The woman I was with had texted her from my phone and told her everything.” Mark remembered that night all too well. “She told me she never wanted to see me again . . .”

“Funny how that turned out.”

“But she also told me something else. Her doctor had called her a few days ago and told her she was pregnant. I fucked up my life all because I got mad at the result of a stupid race!”

Like everything else in the paddock, Mark’s words didn’t stay a secret for long. A rumor confirmed true traveled fast.

PRIVATE INSTAGRAM

liked by susie_wolff, clairewilliams_official and 143 others

yourprivate happy birthday, my darling 🎀✨ i look forward to your sidewalk chalk artwork everyday ❤️

susie_wolff she’s getting so big! happy birthday!

yourprivate i’m not ready for her to grow anymore🥹

clairewilliams_official what an artist!❤️

yourprivate my own little picasso ❤️

zbrownceo happy birthday 🎂 i hope she enjoyed all the gifts the team and i sent

yourprivate she loved every single one, thank you!

[autistic-crunchwrap]

I watched all of The Bear Season 3 and I have so many thoughts... SPOILERS BELOW

TL;WR: It was not all bad... There were high points and low points for sure, and I did enjoy the high points! but the stress and chaos this season brought was not worth the few and far between moments of goodness we saw.

First, the good:

Liza Col��n-Zayas. Oh my god. A true standout, as always. If her episode doesn’t win her an Emmy, I will be fucking furious. Ayo also deserves an Emmy for directing that episode. Every second of the episode was beautiful and moving and added significantly to the overall plot and character development of the show (as every episode of a 10-episode season show should… but more on that later)

Abby Elliot, I love you. I am a Nat Berzatto stan through and through. Ice Chips was my favorite episode of the season. AE’s chemistry with Jamie Lee Curtis is unmatched. I was so genuinely touched by this episode. This episode was family therapy for me, I think. Thank you Abby Elliot, very cool.

Richie gets some great family time with his daughter and Tiff this season, and it’s genuinely so good to see him continue to grow and support his family even when it’s really hard for him. I see how hard he’s trying and I love him for it.

Ted Fak gave some really great energy that really worked this season. Him and Neil were consistently funny and entertaining to watch. I enjoyed their bit about haunting that came up several times throughout the season

JOHN FUCKING CENA being a Fak was an INSANE choice but I loved it. This show has gone off the rails and goddamn it I need more John Cena immediately

Joel McHale is back and as bitchy as ever! I love the havoc he wreaks on Carmy. His line from episode 10, “I don’t think about you” (paraphrasing, I’m not going back to watch it for the exact quote) made me gasp watching it. If Carmy wasn't such a prick, I would feel bad, but Season 3 Carmy deserves the shit Chef David deals him.

Olivia Coleman. That is all.

"You can go fuck" is my favorite Bear quote, especially when Nat says it

Always happy to see Will Poulter as Luca. His lil mullet is adorable and I love him. I hope he and Syd connect even more in Season 4

Pete asking Syd if different foods make different levels of noise was the funniest bit the whole season. Protect Pete at all costs.

Now for the bad…

Where’s the fucking character development??? Carmy and Syd in particular felt very stuck this season. The whole season is very stuck in the past and pays a lot of lip service to 'working through your shit'... but no one ever works through their shit this season (save for Richie, sort of) and it annoyed the hell out of me.

The whole first episode felt like a waste of time. Almost no narrative development, 20+ minutes of montage and fancy shots of cooking? Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the food porn in The Bear. I live for that shit. But the narrative went NO WHERE in Episode 1 because of how much fancy cooking footage was there instead. Gurl, get on with it. I’m bored.

There are several secrets being kept this season. Syd being offered another (possibly better) position and never talking to Carmy about it, Cicero not telling Carmy that he's now broke and can't help pay for the restaurant anymore, and the details of the restaurant review being kept a secret from the audience (and the characters) for most of the season. And like, we just never really get any payoff from it?? We barely see the restaurant review at the end, Syd doesn't tell Carmy about the other job, and Cicero doesn't tell Carmy about being broke. We ended the season where we started. Re: a waste of time!

Another waste of time was the slight of hand/magic trick theme thing they tried to do but didn't fully develop. I was confused as to what the point of all that was, but it was never fully resolved. Don't give me that 'to be continued' shit because you didn't tie up your loose ends this season. I know bad writing when I see it.

Cicero was especially difficult to watch this season. More antagonistic than usual (which, fair, The Bear is a very expensive shitshow) but it makes a big deal about saying he wishes he would've shown up for the Berzatto kids more, but for what purpose? He says this twice, only for it to be revealed to the audience that he's basically lying to Carmy about having money. Bad writing makes this character more scummy than I think he needs to be.

The Claire subplot went absolutely nowhere this season. I think the only time we actually see Claire in present day (and not just in Carmy's blue-tinted 'Supercut' by Lorde memories of her...) is when Neil and Ted Fak are fucking with her at work about Carmy. She was a major trigger point for Carmy this season, but he never does anything to make amends to her, which I found strange considering there's a WHOLE EPISODE about Carmy "considering apologizing." Shut the fuck up. Apologize to her or don't, but she is not haunting you, Carmen. Goddamn.

Speaking of Carmy never apologizing, this season is SO full of callbacks to previous seasons and makes such specific references that the audience is expected to remember, but there are giant plot holes and references that are all but forgotten. The "I'm sorry" sign that Carmy taught Syd to do on the line when they're upset at each other is never brought up once this season, which feels lazy. Carmy did that sign when he was being an asshole last season, and it felt like that was missing. Also, some of the motifs this season just didn't make sense to me.

Finally, Carmen Berzattto is a grade-A asshole the whole season. Like, just a massive prick with no character development, no arc, no interest in healing or working through his shit or connecting with other human beings in really anyway, and honestly? He was antagonistic and demanding and harsh in a way we've never see him before, and I don't think it was for the better. I understand that it's because he's lost this humility and is turning into Chef David, which is the worst thing in the world to Carmy, but he shows 0 remorse for being an asshole this season. Him 'not being able to say sorry' isn't a good enough excuse for how truly grating his character was the entire season. I didn't enjoy watching him on screen. My favorite moments this season were the ones where Carmy was no where to be found. I loved Carmy in Seasons 1 and 2, but I wanted nothing to do with him this season. That's just bad writing.

PHEW, that was a lot! Okay my loves, thanks for sticking through all that. Please let me know your thoughts and hot takes too!! Anyway, stan Natalie Berzatto, and pick up some fucking C-folds, yeah?

[humongousgothskeletonfarm]

tsc thoughts while reading (beware of spoilers) starting with -

david wymack my fucking beloved

also i never rlly liked/cared for thea but her scene with jean and her nickname for him was cute

chapter 3 thoughts:

jeremy being in awe of neil and the foxes is giving me life

fanfics with alvarez in them gonna go crazy now that we actually have a first name for her (and don’t have to invent one)

oh they rich rich (in reference to jeremy’s family butler?!)

jerejean first interaction!!!!

chapter 4:

omg sunshine court mentioned

having the sudden realisation that i can never read fanfics that have jean’s perspective or anything about the how the ravens work, raven!neil/aftermath of the kings men in the same way again

my neighbours are having a party and while i’m loving the music and absolutely jealous i’m not there, it’s really distracting me from reading

ngl i rlly miss neil and andrew and the foxes please let me see my family soon

‘ what you hold onto is less important than the act of holding on itself’ nora sakavic shut the fuck up you philosophical genius i’m gonna cry this is so real to me

renee i love u

WIT WTF JEAN IS NINETEEN I DIDNT KNOW THAT OH MY GOD BABY HE JOINED THE RAVEN LINEUP AT SIXTEEN WTF

i’m drinking red wine while reading and i think that’s appropriate… also i’m listening to that jean moreau playlist someone made and it’s mega depressing https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5zlPt63Ap0AjJQ1Ff5OKrd?si=75oEzLE8SO-bfJwewM8Evw&pi=a-ge04jIlVTJGY

this is so funny to only me but i’ve been hyperfixating on one direction again and zayn just dropped new music so everytime i read about jean’s raven roomate zane i think of one direction and confused myself a bit about what fandom i’m reading rn

fuck riko u sick fucking fuck u put jean into a box with a singular hole for air and left him to die u fucking cunt

KEVIN ASKING JEAN TO PROMISE NOT TO KILL HIMSELF AFTER NORA WROTE COUNTLESS DRAFTS IN WHICH JEAN KILLED HIMSELF WHILE ON THE PHONE TO KEVIN AND THE ONLY TIME SHE DIDNT KILL JEAN OFF IS THE VERSION SHE PUBLISHED AND THE REASON WE GET TO HEAR HIS STORY TODAY IM SO BROKEN

jean’s ‘gift’ from the ravens with his broken magnets, blacked out postcards and angry letters is making me cry he deserves so much better

slowly realising that this book is gonna be super triggering lol whoops

a cool evening breeze 🥲

THAT CREEPY LITTLE GOALKEEPER IS MY FAVOURITE GUY OK

‘kevin saw nothingn but the court, but jean had stopped hoping for more than that years ago’ shut the fuckkkk uppppp i cant do this anymore kevin/jean relationship is so deeply important to me (i say this about everything)

chapter 5:

SECOND NEIL/ JEAN INTERACTION OF THE BOOK IM SO FUCKING EXCITED

‘of course it’d be you, you tedious malcontent’ ‘good morning to you too’ is so ‘morning sunshine’ ‘fuck you’ coded (neil and matt bromance confirmed)

the amount of mitski on this jean playlist is making me sick

FUCKING SCREAMING OMFG THIS IS THE JEAN/NEIL CONTENT I YEARN FOR

‘abominable cockroach’ aww jean u say the sweetest things 🥰❤️ neil loves u too babe

literally devouring every last scrap of information jean feeds us about neil - his slow, hungry, hateful smile and the madness in his eyes (neil baby i love u never change)

oh jean don’t diss aaron, do u know how many fanfics have been written about u two

tsc is confirmation that jean moreau will come into ur house and judge u based on the contents of ur fridge (and then throw out ur stash of lollies)

‘to have a real match as a palate cleanser’ jean is really trying to win my favour by borrowing neil’s sassiness huh (no wonder i love them so much together) ((and yes i know he’s BEEN sassy ok))

jean reaching for the tv screen as if he could save neil and describing andrew running for neil as if hell was on his heels is making me absolutely giddy idk whether to scream or cry i’m doing both and i’m giggling

I bet on losing dogs is so jean moreau coded omg

holy fuck nora, the moments after the raven/fox match when riko tries to kill neil is fucking amazingly written. reading from jean’s perspective as he watches the game on tv, the tension, the breathless anxiety and confusion of the scene is palpable i coukd fucking taste it, my chest is tight just reading it

JEAN SAYING ANDREW WILL BE COURT IS IMMACULATE

[soupbabe]

I don’t know who to go to to talk about this but I had a dream about The Lost Boys last night and I’ve been thinking about it all day and I was wondering what the boys reactions would be if you told them you had a dream about them. If that makes sense.

Thank you as always <3

Telling the Lost Boys You Dream About Them

This is so cute and w the Lost Boys ?? It's even better omg

David

- He's milking the attention on him for all it's worth

- He's going to make you embarrassed and flustered about it and David is going to have the best time of his life doing so

- "No, repeat what you just said, I didn't hear. What was I wearing again?" He heard it he absolutely heard it

- Like don't get me wrong, it's extremely flattering for David, he loves that you think about him all the time

- But also he will poke fun at you any chance he gets

Dwayne

- I think this could be the only thing that could make Dwayne red in face

- He's a sap he loves thinking that you dream about him!! Please tell him everything!!

- His eyes are transfixed on you, his teasing is minimal

- If you ask him if he ever dreams about you, I think his blush gets worse

- He absolutely does, all the time, but not even waterboarding is going to get that information out of him

Paul

- He reacts like David, but his teasing is somehow much worse

- You could describe to him the most innocent dream, but Paul will turn it into something dirty because it's funny to rile you up

- He's trying so hard not to laugh everytime he goes "Stop lying what really happened" every time you tell him your dreams

- You're not going to win,,, you tell him to shut up and hit him and he's all giggles and still adamant about the dream that never happened

- he's too much of a menace never tell him anything

Marko

- Yeah Marko is teasing, but honestly he's more excited to hear about the weird dreams

- Were there any freaky weirdos chasing you? Was he the freaky weirdo chasing you? Let him know PLEASE

- But if it's something unexpected for him, like a dream that's genuinely sweet, he's gonna go quiet

- He's not overly flustered like Dwayne, but he's just gonna buffer a lil. Thinking too much about what to do

- "...so you wanna recreate it or what."

[jadarnr]

Hello everyone!

Back here after 4 long years… Breaking the ice with my fave #OTP game…

List 10 OTPs without reading the questions:

1. Crowley/Aziraphale (Good Omens)

2. Belle/Rumple (Once upon a time)

3. Christina/Owen (Gray’s Anatomy)

4. Olivia/Fitz (Scandal)

5. Violet/Dietfried (Violet Evergarden)

6. Daria/Trent (Daria)

7. Liza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang (Fullmetal Alchemist)

8. Gintoki/Tsukyo (Gintama)

9. Elijah/Hayley (The Originals)

10. Esther/Abel (Trinity Blood)

Now answer:

1. Remember the episode when you started shippin' couple number 6?

“Road Warriors”. Trent looked EXACTLY like my first high school crush 😛

2. Have you ever read a fanfiction about the #2?

Just ONE? C’mon are you kidding me??? Who do you think you are talking to?

3. Has a photo of 4 ever been on your screensaver/profile photo/Tumblr?

Mmmh no, not this one

4. If number 7 suddenly split today, what would be your reaction?

Well… they official never got together so… That would be good news because at least I would know that they were together at least for a while 🥲

5. Why number 1 is so important?

Firstly because it unleashed my unconditional love for David Tennant 😍 And secondly... well I report what I once read on somewhere (maybe here):

Aziraphale and Crowley somehow check all the boxes for me in terms of a perfect ship.

Forbidden Romance? You’ve got it. Friends to Lovers? Yep. Pining? Check. Mutual Pining? Double check. Idiots in love? I have not seen two dumbasses more in love. Slowburn? 6000 years. Historical Romance? Yes is an understatement. One thinks they aren’t good enough for the other, while the other is head over heels for them? Absolutely. Miscommunications leading to angst? You could’t find two individuals who are worse at communicating. Bicker like an old married couple? “Oh lord, please heal this bike”. Pet names? angel. Are very soft but also bastards? Yep.

6. Is pair number 9 funny or serious?

Serious… too much sometimes. Elijah, you needed to loosen up a bit 🙄

7. Of all the couples which one has more chemistry?

Mmmh… hard question. I’d say 1,4,9

8. Of all the couples which one has the strongest bond?

9 no doubt about that 😭

9. How many times have you read/seen things about the couple number 10?

Unfortunately there is very little material around.. 😭2-3 noteworthy fanfictions, a few dozen drawings. (Esther/Abel shippers, wherever you are, step up!)

10. Which of the ships lasted the longest?

Number 9 and 2. And number 1 of course. No one can convince me otherwise 😬

11. How many times, if any, has number 6 broke?

None! Because they were never together 😩

12. If the world were suddenly in a zombie apocalypse, which would survive between 2 and 8?

Number 8 no doubt!!!

13. Has 7 ever had to hide their relationship?

IF they were together, I would say yes. But wait! Maybe they were together and hid it too well!!! 😝

14. Is 4 still together?

It is not clear to us or to them

15. Is 10 canon?

Definitely NO

16. If all ships participated in a Hunger Game in pairs, who would win?

It would be a very tough competition between all of them.

Now I DEMAND a fanfiction about it. That would be awsome

17. Have they ever tried to sabotage couple number 5?

No need: they sabotage themselves 🙄

18. Which ship would you defend to the death and even afterwards?

Number 1

19. Did you spend hours a day going on tumblr or Ao3 for number 3?

No, never did for 3. In the end, it was the one they gave the end that made the most sense. Let them rest in peace like that.

20. If an evil witch told you to split one of the ten, who would you choose?

Then again considering the fact that they would have to be together to do that and practically none of the 10 are... I'd say I'd sacrifice four.

YOUR TURN!!!

[player1064]

i've been thinking about your post about david beckham painting himself as this great footballer with his sidekick gary, which is so true! gary continued to have success long after beckham left. (which is why it annoys me that beckham got into the premier league hall of fame really early, but gary hasn't despite being on the nominees list three years running.)

but now i've been wondering how beckham felt/what he thought when gary was made youth team captain and reserves captain and made it onto the man united first team before him and made it to euro 96, especially as its been said in lots of interviews that beckham thought playing for the england national team was it! it was everything to him while for gary it was opposite, he thought playing for man united was everything. so i wonder how beckham felt and if he watched the man united and euro 96 matches feeling jealous that gary made it before him.

HE PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH!!!!!! I HATE HIM!!!!!!!

but yeah you Know he wouldve been insanely jealous... especially bc around the time Gary was breaking into the first team Becks was getting sent to fucking. preston. <3

Also VERY FUNNY that u would send this message today of all days bc I literally this morning started planning out Yet Another WIP which is an AU whose premise is 'England win euro 96 but never win anything after that and it becomes like this huge burden for Gary to carry bc it significantly alters the course of his career and Becks kind of resents him for it'

[you-didnt]

Dragon Age The Veilguard thoughts!!

I wrote almost 2k words and I have honestly no clue who the audience is here but if someone asks me “Did you like The Veilguard?” I can just pull this up.

This is all from the perspective of someone whose favourite game was DA2 and who didn’t love DAI.

Massive spoiler for basically everything ahead

It wouldn’t be Dragon Age if it didn’t kinda suck and I have so many gripes with this game. This being said… I loved it. I have to think it over some more because ofc there’s a lot of recency bias right now, but I think I can say for sure that it had some of my favourite parts in all Dragon Age games.

What I loved:

The overall arc of the game. It felt very coherent and also: Things happened. I replayed Inquisition some months ago and was shocked at how few main quests the game actually has. It also helps that almost all companion quests somehow tie into the main story.

The antagonists were scary!! I was genuinely scared of them and could feel their looming threat (quite literally in Weisshaupt) throughout the entire game. They really learned from whatever happened with Corypheus.

I vastly prefer those smaller types of maps to the huge ones filled with nothing in Inquisition. I wouldn’t change a thing about them.

The companions ohmygod the companions. I loved the DAO crew, absolutely adored DA2 and felt pretty indifferent about most of the Inquisition companions. These guys are DA2 level for me. It’s the found family, alright. That’s why I had a physical reaction when, in my playthrough, Davrin died – I really, really didn’t expect it. I actually yelled and started violently sobbing when Assan flew after him. When Solas said “Did you really expect to make it through this without casualties?” I was like, well, yeah??? I was also so afraid of Neve being dead, too and the way this gutted me shows what a great job the game did at making me feel attached to the characters. Manfred, too – the way I played my Rook they would have probably said “yeah man go for litchdom” to Emmerich but I, the player, couldn’t.

Speaking of the ending: I said before that I think it’s one of the best things Bioware has done. The final quest felt very Mass Effect 3 and I love the ending of ME3 so much (minus the last 10 minutes that we’re gonna ignore) so this was a huge win for me personally.

Rook!!! I don’t mind that they’re somewhat of an established character, because that’s what I also loved about Shepard in Mass Effect. It’s so funny to me that they’re a bit of a cringefail loser and I’d like to think Varric saw them and thought “This kid reminds me of Hawke”, which is why he recruited them.

The CC and hair physics. Can you believe we got a Dragon Age game with GOOD HAIR???

The art direction of the game. Past me who made fun of it looks so stupid right now because everything and everyone is beautiful.

I know the bar is on the floor, but: I played this game start to finish with no major glitches (I clipped through the floor once and my Playstation crashed during the final credits). This SHOULD be normal for an AAA game, but unfortunately it’s not, so I have to give credits where they’re due.

The lore drops. Some require some suspension of disbelief but all in all, the way everything is connected, feels very satisfying. I do feel sorry for everyone who’s annoyed by the “it’s all elves” lore because once again, it’s all elves.

Solas and his dynamic with Rook. Also the way he completely broke down sobbing at the end (Gareth David-Lloyd the man you are). I’ve never done a Solavellan playthrough because I don’t find him compelling in a romantic way but goddamn do I love him as a character apart from that.

They haven’t forgotten about The Forgotten Ones!!! (no pun intended) I was stoked to hear about them and even SEE them and I would love to know even more about them!!!

Isseya. I very recently read the last flight and at some point in the game I started suspecting and when it was actually revealed… very satisfying.

What I feel meh about:

The music. It’s good, no doubt, but it didn’t leave much of an impression. Listened to it on Spotify and I am a fool I take it back.

The combat. At first I enjoyed it but then I got to bigger bosses and as a mage it was just absolutely frustrating. I was Dark Souls-rolling around the place because every single enemy decided to ignore my companions and attack only me so there were 3 mages firing at me from the distance and some big guy jumping me every 0.5 seconds while my companions were chipping away health at snails pace. I was so annoyed I changed the settings of two sliders in the custom difficulty setting – and then I went to Weisshaupt and beat Razikale in 5 minutes lmao. Maybe the new patch changed it, I can’t say, but in my next playthrough I am so going to be a warrior.

The pacing is a bit all over the place. As many people have said before, the game takes forever to take off.

Unfortunately, the writing. Everyone in Thedas seems to be super chill because you just drop that the elven gods are here and they are evil and everyone is like “alright”. The only one who has a valid reaction to it is the First Warden and I punched him in the face for it. I played and elf Rook who at some point said to Solas “Just because I have the same ear-shape as the gods doesn’t mean I’ll fall to my knees in front of them” and Solas replied “Yeah that’s luckily true for most elves” and I was like… really??? REALLY??? I don’t know, I’m not religious myself but if I was and my literal god showed up and said “I can make all your dreams come true if you worship and join me” … idk man. I think I would be sold.

The game really suffers from how pretty much every decision from Dragon Age 1-3 was disregarded. I can imagine this sparked a few discussions at Bioware HQ because it is a bold choice that did not pay off at all. I know why it was necessary and why you can’t include every single choice and option but come on man, more than 3 choices who all have to do with Solas wouldn’t have been too much to ask. You could pretty much feel the strain they went through to avoid saying certain things as not to establish anything from the past games as canon and it didn’t do the writing any favours.  

The romances are really lacking. I watched a few on Youtube and they're all so... bland. And short. I romanced Taash and it started with them pressing Rook against a wall and I was like !!! and then..... nothing really happened? Every time they wanted to talk to me I was like "kith? Kith please?" and I got one somewhere in a dragon den but after that...... nothing.

I personally don’t mind the wiping of the world state in all of southern Ferelden by saying “yeah the Blight killed everything” that much, also because it’s been 10 years since Inquisition, 20ish (I think?) since Origins and I expected things to have changed drastically in this timespan anyway, but I can also see why it’s frustrating.

I also really get it when people say “this game feels like it was written with HR in the room”.  What bothers me even more though is how much hand-holding there is. When Morrigan explained the Mythal fragment and then started to read the Oxford definition of fragment to me I was like oh my godddd.

Speaking of definitions: It breaks my heart to say it, but a lot about Taash’s story made me cringe – and I say this as someone who is on a “gender journey” and romanced Taash. I saw someone on Reddit talk about it and what they said really resonated with me: It feels like Trick Weekes wanted their Dorian moment too and overshot the mark. I think it’s admirable that they included it, especially considering this is what caused the most backlash from the “anti-woke” mob and they must have been aware of that. The coming out story itself was mostly well done and made me tear up once or twice, but the codex entries with, once again, what looked like dictionary entries of the queer bible? Maevaris saying “You are valid”? Including “trans women are women!”? Not even gonna mention the insufferable Isabela scene. It’s like someone went through a checklist and it unfortunately made the non-binary representation they were going for feel like tokenism.

Some plot holes I can’t ignore/questions I have:

Varric. There was a point in the game where I thought “is this some kind of sixth sense bullshit” and I dismissed it because I thought “nah that’s too stupid”. While I do have to say the emotional impact of Varric saying “I think you already know” at the end fucking hit me like a truck, the plot twist didn’t make any sense if you consider how beloved Varric was by everyone. You’re really telling me there was no funeral for him? The inquisitor didn’t care to mention it at all? Isabela??? They were all just like “Yeah Varric died and Rook keeps talking to him but we’re just not gonna mention it” Were Neve and Harding holding all the others at gunpoint like? “Hey if Rook starts talking to Varric… play along.”

Where are the Qunari? I don’t mean the Antaam, I mean the literal Qunari. Inquisition ended with them being close to invading Tevinter, they actually invade Tevinter in the comics and now we just have a bunch of deserters and the Qunari are also pretty chill with it?

The Lighthouse/Fade. Throughout all of Inquisition people keep mentioning how no one has ever physically entered the Fade since the magisters and how it’s such a feat that the Inquisitor did it twice and now we’re all just… chilling here, bringing friends over, and no one mentions how remarkable that is?

I played a Crow and cringed at the found family-fication of them. So was everything Zevran said about them a lie or are we gonna act like all the evil shit they do is actually cool?

Maybe I just didn’t get it, but I don’t think Isseyas motivation made any sense. I thought her corruption and being driven insane from her guilt was extremely cool, but wasn’t it the guilt of blighting griffons that made her that way? If so, why would she think blighting them again would be their salvation?

We saw a Titan from the outside and I think it looked extremely cool, I took several screenshots of it. But did no one ever notice that some mountains look weirdly humanoid shaped? It had a face and hands and everything and sure, if you see that once you think “that’s a fun coincidence” but assuming they were all over Thedas, no one gave this a second thought?

So. Where does this leave me? If I had to rate the game from 1-10… I honestly couldn’t say, and fortunately I don’t have to. It felt like Dragon Age and when I say this I mean the good, the bad and the ugly. I don’t want to outweigh the pros and the cons, I don’t want to have an entire objective opinion because the way I feel about it will always be subjective. There are so many things that bother me, but in the end the game made me laugh, cry, fall in love with the characters and it showed me a new side of this world I love I didn’t know yet. This ultimately leaves me no choice but to say: I genuinely loved the game and I’m grateful I’ve got to experience it.

[marley-manson]

okay the full review in a pros and cons list lol

pros:

uh my ship canon. i win, motherfuckers. fuckin 15 year old me was right this whole time, as always, but it's nice to see it acknowledged for once.

the confession scene also just kicked ass tbh

i gotta admire the cheekiness of the back and forth hesitant phrasing of their relationship, eg crowley referring to '...us' and aziraphale's 'i need you!' 'we can be together' etc until finally crowley just runs back to kiss him

and you know aziraphale was about to say 'i love you' before cutting himself off <3

touching his lips after too <3

the reasons for the break up felt reasonable to me and justified with the season's flashbacks to crowley questioning things and aziraphale's resistance

some pretty funny jokes, i laughed outloud a few times

michael sheen and david tennant do have excellent chemistry

never gonna say no to side lesbians even if they were incredibly bland

i think the way it was structured like a fanfic was a pro honestly lol. the plot sucked, i don't care about it, so it's nice that the story itself also doesn't care

amnesiac gabriel was endearing

crowley not kiling goats was cute

ty tennant was in it for about a minute and spent that minute hitting on aziraphale and it was fucking bonkers

no het

like i think job and his wife may have literally been the sole exception including like references to offscreen spouses lmao, i'm v impressed, and if this is penance for last season then i forgive.

i thought it was cute that gaiman incorporated the song he wanted for season 1 into this season as a plot point

beelzebub's new actor was so much better. and the flies were somehow kinda cute, i'll give the gabriel/beelzebub ship that.

good old fashioned lover boy. we all wanted it, they gave it to us, i appreciate it

here's my review: gay enough

cons:

mostly sucked as like, a narrative

tennant's fucking performance as crowley was so annoying, he or the director doubled down on what i hated last season and stripped him of all the endearing humanizing aspects of his performance and the result was like watching donald duck screaming for 6 episodes

the chemistry was still there but the actual pining kiiiiinda wasn't, actually lol. oh they referred to it in scripted moments, jokes, parallels, and straightforward statements, but they didn't... show it, particularly. until the confession nothing even approaches the tenderness and emotion of like any of their season 1 scenes, let alone the car scene or the bus stop scene or the ritz or the french revolution rescue or the blitz or eden etc etc. and david tennant did not say one word in that cute hopeful pining tone

to be honest after watching the whole show this is the most disappointing part. like the car scene??? could i not get a sequel to that? let crowley be tender!!!!

i think the reason we don't get scenes like that, other than perhaps uncomfortable restraint due to acknowledging the romance textually, is that they went from crowley practically begging aziraphale to cave and fuck him for centuries to crowley now angry repressed and needing a push to say anything, which also felt wrong to me, like iffy fanfic characterization

it was bad enough that i was nervous they were going to depict neither as actually aware of their feelings. thankfully they did not, and it still feels like crowley has been pining for a thousand years and they've both been aware but dancing around it, with the way the confession was phrased. that should be a pro, actually.

also yk all the obvious things. dumb jokes, a lot of bad acting (i feel like the director is at fault though tbf), not into the twee tone in general for the most part, a lot of scenes that were way too drawn out, utterly nonsensical narrative, characters doing things for no reason other than convenience constantly (why do the lesbians stay to help fight the demons? because their characters are more important and need more screen time), 0 stakes wrt heaven and hell because they're all so wholly ineffectual as antagonists and neither crowley nor aziraphale ever gave a shit about their threats, etc etc

oh lol nina sosanya being cast again as a brand new character, no relation to sister mary loquacious. it's not a big con since i like her and was happy to see her again, but it did feel lazy lol. at least give me the identical twin cousin explanation

was crowley living out of his car a joke bc they don't have the set from last season? did god not restore his flat like the bookshop? what's up with that? and how much time has passed since last season anyway? why didn't he get a new flat? why is he living in his car? what's going on?

nightingale references at the end felt tacked on and awkward to me tbh

ohhhhh raphael!crowley's very obviously hinted at and i hate that headcanon :/

crowley's kinda hilariously gary stuish honestly, making me really miss the book and even season 1 where he was like, yk, fucking incompetent sometimes. here he's lounging on couches without a care while being threatened by heaven and hell multiple times, pulling off perfect shots with no practice, waltzing into heaven without a second thought, bluffing demons easily and successfully, etc. and that's in addition to being right about everything and also being raphael like what happened to my dumbass low-level loser fave who fucked up the apocalypse by accident and lived in terror of phone calls from hell???

heaven and hell are "toxic" lol? that phrasing is so awkward, and like, i'd say minimizing but i guess tbf they didn't pose much of a threat in this season. but still c'mon, why you describing 2 murderous doomsday cults/cold warring governments as toxic like they're your annoying ex? especially after the running gag about nina's shitty girlfriend constantly therapy speaking at her condescendingly lol. how about 'hey remember how they worked together to try to kill us last season?'

oh gabriel/beelzebub of course lol, whatever happened to neil gaiman being unable to read fanfic or even people's headcanon posts for fear of accidentally plagiarizing ideas? bring back the separation between fandom and creator stat, fandom has way too much influence here and fandom fucking sucks

a little petty but honestly the kiss could've been good, yk? there's no reason it had to be bad, they could've just given into it for a bit for a hopeful romantic moment before aziraphale freaks and pulls away. like can i get 2 dudes to kiss with tongue at some point on my television here?

needs more queen

[duckduckhjonk]

buh TPOT 13 review time!!!! wahooooo

right on, you know the gist, spoilers ahead! :3

starting off really strong with Firey and Leafy! I had a theory that by the end of TPOT at least one more from that post split group might rejoin TPOT(pls let it be Bubble but shhhh) although I wonder why they're building that little structure tbh. On a side note, I've never been a huge fan of Firey and Leafy's little plot they've had since the start, but I'll admit this moment is cute. but also RIP LEAFY LMAOOO

I'm surprised to see One have this much power, although I do think my theory still stands of her being the weakest of the algebraliens. I think her powers are primarily only active within the pocket dimension, leading her to want more power outside of it.

Love all the missing posters everyone's making here. They miss their friends. Pen and Needle's friendship is everything to me.

CAKE AT STAKE TIME!!!!!!

I was on the edge of my seat during this. I'm really really surprised Match got such a small amount of votes. I would have thought she would got more than like- David or something. ALSO RAGHGHHH SO UPSET THAT DORA DIDN'T MAKE IT IN but oh well. ALSO THE REVEAL!!!!!!! TWO OF THEM!!!!!!! I love how Bracelety did that, rip Bracelety. I'm surprised again, with how much everyone was propaganda-ing for Bracelety I'm shocked she didn't win by a landslide. BUT WOOOO LIY MAKES IT IN LETS FUCKING GO WE LOVE LIY IN THIS HOUSEHOLD. Pencil don't be mean :{ you made them cry. Also a little surprised that both teams up for elim get the contestants.

As much as I knew Barf Bag was getting out, it still hurt. Loved her lots. I'm thankful Donut is safe and Golf Ball. I really really wish Yellow Face went home, I fucking hate Yellow Face.

BUT ALSO NEEDLE??? WHAT IS WRONG WITH VOTERS?????????????????? NEEDLE??? WHEN SHE WAS JUST GETTING HER SIBLING ARC WITH PEN???????? but also TV's little flower dancey dance is peak.

maybe Pen and Liy friendship arc though.

I love how panicked Two is just always.

THE INTRO!! HAS THE NEWBIES!!! LIY NEXT TO FANNY AND PENCIL IS ON BELL'S STRING!!!!! also another funny thing I like how Two failed at starting it and Gaty did it. I'm absolutely obsessed with Two and Gaty's dynamic in general.

I loved this challenge, I really have been loving how Fanny has taken a leadership role in her team and tbh in TPOT in general. Like, she has her arc with Death PACT has been brilliant and now with One as well and Robot Flower??? She's peak!!!!!! Like she probably won't have as prominent of a role in One's story as like Basketball, but like- she's still probably going to be prominent. She's my fave for a reason!!!!!!!!!

Also already this episode I've wanted to tell Pencil to shut the fuck up multiple times, god I hate her.

I like how Golf Ball and Donut had a chance to talk one on one during the challenge.

I think I also liked how Pen opposed killing the David. I think the whole Death PACT rubbed off on him.

I, uh, I kinda don't care about Book. Or Team 2's storyline. like. at all. I honestly wish Tear Drop made it to the team swap. She could have made it better.

We love a good fight scene, and the whole Death PACT vs Robot Flower fight was absolutely brilliant. The reference to Robot Flower launching Fanny to put her head back on in BFB was really cool, and I loved its resolution as well. TB and BB teaming up with them to help out only to betray them in the end, awesome. Although its a bummer to see them up for elimination so soon. I really hope Robot Flower doesn't immediately get out after this, she's important.

Anyways, I love hearing both Donut's and Golf Ball's perspectives on their team. I still love the idfb crumbs we got for Golf Ball and I think that could play a part in her view point. I do want to see them idk reconcile a little?

OFF TOPIC BUT BLACK HOLE GOING "Nice to see you again, Liy :)" EVERYTHING TO ME.

anyways. I do want to see Golf Ball learn to hear her team's voices, and maybe for Donut to focus on winning a little more. I really want to have that be the arc, please, please jacknjellify, please if you want my undying affection(that you already do have, this wont actually change anything.)

most of the shots in this episode and its lighting were super fucking cool like- the one where RF stabs Gaty with Pin??? Baller. The one before the fight showing all the characters faces??? also baller.

I'm sorry, yet again reiterating how awesome Fanny's character development has been. She's awesome and now she's friends(I think) with Black Hole. She's everything to me. I love how much she cares about everything.

"I do have power, but not enough..." MY THEORY STANDS

ALSO WHAT DID YOU DO TO BELL AND BOMBY AND NEEDLE AND BARF BAG???????????? ONE IS EVIL I'M TELLING YOU!!!!!!!!!! I CALLED IT FROM THE START HER INTENTIONS ARE BAD.

Basketball did it for Robot Flower, we love that for her. also their heart to heart peak>>>>>>>> I've never been this excited about Robot Flower before. "The best version of you is the one we have here" CRYING I'M SOBBING.

I also loved Tennis Ball and Golf Ball's dynamic this episode. They care so much about each other.

The ending to the episode felt a little rushed and chaotic. Like I feel like it was a "fuck, how do we make someone other than death pact lose?" kind of moment.

but honestly over all, quite possibly my favourite episode. I absolutely loved it. Unfortunately, now I will be knawing at the bars of my cage waiting for TPOT 14 to come out.

Let me know what you think as well! This took so long to write and comprehensively make, I even had to take a walk ouh. But yeah, fucking loved this episode. Put your thoughts in the notes or even in my inbox! Both are always open :3

[haissitall]

thoughts about the giggle in no particular order because it's the episodes which im disappointed by that make me write about them

the ep felt very disjointed. various elements barely sewn together. something something toxic political internet culture and media driving people mad, also humanity is shit and rtd is somehow in his smug liberalism phase in 2k23, also the doctor needs to settle down and heal, and face his guilt over abandoning and/or being the cause for his companions' deaths. i guess. and here are creepy dolls which get defeated by just.. brute force (in an admittedly funny scene, but still)

so the first big element in this soup of ideas is the "people going mad corrupted by media" plotline. let's look at that shall we

why was the toymaker doing this? not just in-universe, but how is it his thing at all, like, conceptually? there was something said about how he "made everyone win" in the "game of the 21st century"... k'. it's just there because rtd wanted it there without much consideration about how it would fit the character.

the satellites mind-controlling people around the world is from the master's plan in season 3 finale, the archangel.

what was that weird story beat when kate was like "we can't shoot down the satellite because it belongs to another country and we have to ask permission :((" and the doctor was like "i permit it!" and she emphatically thanked him for that? like... thank god there is this higher power which can rule it necessary for the international organisation (from london tho) to do whatever it needs! to save the world of course

the commentary on ~society~ seemed trite, boring, cringy, patronising, heavy-handed and instantly dated.

so then there was the 1925 subplot. thematically sort of about how the uhh father abandoned his family (i think?), so that's sort of like the doctor abandoned his companions. realistically it's about the creepy dolls

"the doctor abandons his companions" and "the doctor gets his companions into danger so he should be sad about it" and "the doctor never settles down and it's his tragedy" im just tired of this. am i getting old lmao. idk i was nodding off during these dialogues. was there anything new to say here? on all these topics which have been talked about a lot? isn't all this just cheep "feels" and "depth" generator at this point

"am i just too old for this" was my general thought after watching the episode. i mean, i was enjoying the previous ones! i guess i wasn't too old for the star beast lol. i wasn't too old for being excited about the wonderful meep puppet! so this can't be it. but i just watched this scene of a craaazy villain doing his Iconic dance (Best Scene OMG So Camp!!1) and i was simply bored. i didn't even want to ship him with david tennant. am i the grinch?

am i too old for the mystery boxes. for "the one who waits" or whatever, and i think there were some other ohh mysterious things set up for the future. i mean we all know we're gonna be disappinted, right? we all know the it's gonna be crap? and i think moff has successfully put an end to "mysteries of the season" shtick with the hybrid arc. no more mysteries. no more season arcs with cryptic words. stop. staaahhp

im not even gonna talk about "handy 2.0, even more contrived this time". my brain just blanks. it doesn't want to take this information in and dedicate even a second to it. i'd rather think about the international law around unit and how it applies to the satellite situation

overall, i found this episode the weakest among the three specials. i ended the previous two feeling good, while this one left me disappointed. sadly, it's often the last impression which counts. while the previous two episodes had pulled me in, this one left me wondering again about whether the tennant regineration was a good idea in the first place. oh well. but im not losing my hopes for the next season yet!

[everyyeen]

Exitor opinions!!! Yayy!!

Okay first Pencil! She is my favourite option out of the realistic picks.

She’s pretty fun to have around and it would be interesting to see what she gets up to now that her alliance is pretty much entirely gone.

Next Bracelety. I really don’t want it to be Bracelety sorry.

I feel like she’s going to be either reduced to a joke character again, or she is going to end up being a character development tool for Ice Cube. Their dynamic just feels too similar to Clock and Winner.

I would be completely okay with Liy joining TPOT.

She didn’t really get a chance to have much character because she was introduced and eliminated early in bfb. I would be interested in seeing how she does in TPOT, and I’ll be rooting for her in the exitor polls.

Roboty is a no

I hate you 8-ball.

I hate very few characters in this series, however 8-ball is an exception. He isn’t funny, or interesting, or unique, he doesn’t have a cool design; there is literally nothing to like about him and I sincerely hope he stays in 4 and X’s kitchen. Never speak to me or my child (Basketball) ever again!!!

Stapy is next. I wouldn’t mind him joining TPOT.

Since he was introduced and eliminated early in bfb, he (similarly to Liy) has some room to show more personality which I would be happy to see in TPOT. As long as doing dumb stuff and blaming it on his stapler instincts isn’t his only character trait.

David feels like filler to me. I would rather not have him join.

He’s just not that interesting. I like his little dynamic with Roboty as non-dialogue characters who look out for each other, but I’m also completely uninterested in Roboty joining.

Match is okay, but I feel like there are options that are more interesting, and deserve it more.

She already had her time to shine in 3 seasons of the show, and she’d act pretty similarly to Pencil, so I think I’d rather just have Pencil join.

Firey Jr joining wouldn’t be terrible, but it wouldn’t be the best.

He’s similar to Fanny in that he can be used as a way to confront other character’s beliefs from an unbiased view. Other than that though, he’d probably just complain all of the time.

DADADADADADADADADADADADADADADADA

I can’t use any more pictures, but Dora’s next. I voted for Dora. I know. It’s silly of me to be thinking so much of the plot relevance of all the other characters and then vote for Dora. BUT I JUST REALLY LIKE DORA BFDI OKAY!!!

She always wins challenges for her team, she has fun moments where she sings, she makes for a lot of very funny jokes, and I’m sure the writers could figure out a way to make her role in the story feel satisfying!

I miss her

[thewingedwolf]

okay i’ve watched a few seasons now, and i’m about to move into pre-new era seasons so-

that do or die twist is so unserious omg

i know big brother has gaslighting, spying, & manipulating too but these people just straight up going through each other’s bags is so funny, they all talk about lifelong friendships but they also don’t give a FUCK lmao

(none of these are in any order, just top 4)

faves in 41: shan, xander, erika, evvie

faves in 42: maryanne, romeo, lindsay, drea

faves in 43: i did not watch; i’ve seen the discourse around this season and i simply Don’t want to feel pain like this so i put it off for now

faves in 44: i did not watch; like purely because of the nonsense going on with carson aksjdjd i might genuinely go back to this one later

faves in 45: kaleb, kellie, jake. why did i only list 3 people? bc genuinely it’s a four way tie between dee katurah julie and emily, like this was an amazing season for women. also, the hottest season.

i think it says a lot about me that one of my favorites three seasons in a row was a zero vote finalist aksjdjd personally i think this means one of my faves this season is gonna be one too, i’m guessing venus or q

shan making dx hum her betrayal theme song on the challenge usa is so much funnier with context bc she LITERALLY hummed it out loud while thinking about how she’d have to betray one of her besties aksjsj the nerve of that woman is insane i love her

the way i got so excited for deshawn to make a comeback in that lil chicken & veggies alliance only for him to truth kamikaze his way through that tribal is just…..i actually had to walk away from my tv my secondhand embarrassment was so bad

i think it’s a lot different when you know who is going to win because i went in paying attention to erika and really vibing with her but i get the impression no one was expecting her to win the way that a lot of people thought maryanne would win over everyone else in f5.

that said, i think 41 was my favorite bc i love when people are smart but also canNot keep their mouths shut, these people were so gossipy and got soooo heated with each other, but i didn’t hate anyone, i was rooting for everyone, like i was riveted i had fun.

i literally keep replaying that “do i believe that? no i do not,” moment between naseer and heather on loop in my mind it was soooo funny aksjsjs

xander scruffy looking…….i would fold so fast i’m afraid 😔

that said, i had to walk away during some of his answers for the final tribal because he is just so sweet but he is SO unaware i was HURTING even with evvie and ricard clearing trying to lead him to an answer, it took like four false starts for him to name a good social read and everyone to nod and go “oh yeah that one makes sense”

drea’s comedic timing is unparalleled. i have never laughed that loud at a reality tv contestant, her voice is just so expressive. yes i’m talking about the potato line she is funnier than every comedian on netflix to me

that season had me screaming every episode it was really fun to watch and maryanne just like. sparkles. she’s enchanting.

i hope jonathan [redacted for legal reasons]

austin is so sexy to me because he really just laid down and died so his super hot girlfriend could win a million dollars, that’s the perfect man

actually i’d like to say it again. hottest cast. austin & dee was just pretty on pretty. jake is adorable. kellie. katurah. emily. kaleb. hottest cast by far.

i’ve been listening to know it alls & why blank lost just to get a feel for strategy and i’m excited to get through older seasons to see gameplay without so many twists because yeah there’s like a LOT of them esp in 41. it’s funny listening to them all bitch about this constantly tho. also interested in eventually watching a season without fire making - the next group i’m looking at are david v goliath, heroes v healers v hustlers, millennials v gen x, and gamechangers. might flip around a bit before i land on one tho.

[jeffersonhairpie]

8 shows to get to know me

I was tagged by @haahka​ to deliver the good news of these self-defining TV shows! Wahoo alright let’s go - in alpabetical order so no one feels shafted

1. Bojack Horseman

The terrible tale of a washed up actor from the nineties trying and failing to regain their mojo - also he’s a depressed horse. Equal parts comedy and devastatingly morose commentary on the human condition. If you finish it and need more please go check out Tuca and Bertie.

2. Chernobyl

It’s the story of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster! Woohoo everybody party! I’m sure nothing depressing will happen and we’ll all be feeling extremely normal by the end. (Is the best bit of television I’ve ever seen though)

3. House MD

Hilson shown for...reasons. Anyway I haven’t watched this show in years, I am comstantly battling a demon on my shoulder telling me to change that BUT I say say with great confidence that it’s a foundational text of my media enjoyment. The terrible tale of a drug addled doctor who gets away with eye watering quantities of malpractice due to him being the only guy who can solve medicine’s toughest riddles. Proceedural television never felt so good

4. Red Dwarf

The terrible tale of the last human in the universe waking up from stasis more than a million years since the rest of the species died off. Dave Lister is stranded on the space ship that was his place of work for the rest of his life, with nothing but a gobby computer, a creature that evolved from his pet cat, a robot and a hologram of his dead bunkmate. Yes, it’s a British comedy from the early nineties. Yes, there are only six episodes a season. Yes, there’s a laugh track. Wait, come back! Where are you going I thought you wanted to watch Red Dwarf!

5. Steven Universe

The terrible tale of a boy who lives with a piece of his dead mother so visible on his body that most of the galaxy expects him to fulfil her destiny rather than writing his own. The funny thing about Steven Universe is that people are still so mad about it for so many reasons but it remains one of the best TV shows of all time so who’s really winning? Don’t watch unless you can handle kids shows trusting their audience doesn’t need everything spoonfed to them lmao

6. Succession

The terrible tale of a family who couldn’t lose everything if they tried, and the kids who failed to keep themselves together. If you’re following me and don’t know this show by now then you need to start putting in more hours on tumblr. Also, that’s Tom!

7. Taskmaster

A despotic control freak and his extremely pathetic and wet assistant force people to compete in a variety of cruel and unusual tasks. Some for the game show to turn your brain off to, stay for the most insane dynamic between two men that you will ever have seen. Then, once you’ve polished off all 15 seasons of the British version, go and enjoy the international Taskmasters. This ride is never going to stop because they’ve discovered the perfect television formula

8. Twin Peaks

The terrible tale of Laura Palmer, who washes up on the shore of a lake, already dead, and then we get to learn everything about her. TV nerds the world over are ready to gush about this show at a moment’s notice and it’s with good reason. One of the few pieces of anything that really can more or less be all things to all people. Plus, it’s a David Lynch show so it’s weird as hell without apology

tagging @valoricky​ @crustacean-frustrations​ @hickeywiththegoodhair​ @duelsong​ @holy-yeosang​ @tomshivyuri​ @fuckyeahashes​ @bby-daesung​ and anyone else who feels like sharing. You can do it or not. It’s fun to talk about things you like though!

[prettywhenibleed]

𝕶𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝕱𝖔𝖗 𝖄𝖔𝖚 (Kill For You)

Pt 3

Fem!Reader x Paul

TW: Mentions of abuse, some kissy kissy but nothing NSFW

Paul and I walked in comfortable silence as we made our way to the others. He had assured me that they weren't that far away, so we got to them pretty quickly. I was immediately greeted by Marko pulling me into a hug, lifting me up off of the ground for a moment, before placing me back onto my feet. "Hey y/n!" He said with a wide grin. Clearly pretty happy to see me. "Hey back at you Marko." I gave him a look of surprise. "You're pretty strong, you know that." I pointed out. I mean... I wasn't particularly heavy, but Marko was a good few inches shorter than me. I don’t know. I just wasn't expecting that I guess. Marko shared a look with the others, like my words had some sort of hidden meaning to them that I wasn't aware of, and they found it hilarious. "Yeah. I guess you could say that babe." He said in a nonchalant kind of way and started to, no so subtly, flex. It was pretty funny to see him to those bodybuilder flexing poses. After a minute or so of this, Paul decided to butt in and I guess show off his muscles too? "Nah my muscles are way bigger than his sugar!! I’m way stronger too! Check it out!" Paul announced and proceeded to pose like Marko was. They both had me dying from laughter. Tears in eyes, stomach hurting kind of laughter. "Okay okay! Please, stop.. I'm in pain." I begged through my laughter and tears while still holding my sides. Marko and Paul just laughed and grinned at each other. 

Paul grabbed me, wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. "Want me to kiss it better?" He asked with a smirk and a wink, referring to my stomach. I just rolled my eyes and lightly slapped his chest with a small laugh. Looking up at him with a smile. God, his eyes are so beautiful. HE is so beautiful. The way he was looking at me right now. The sweet, flirty smile. His eyes, that looked like they held so much love right now. We just stood there, staring at and holding each other. It's like we were trapped like that. The boardwalk and everything, everyone on it, just melting away. Slowly, our faces started to move closer and closer to each other, closing the gap between our wanting lips. It's like we both felt this pull to each other that we couldn't resist. As soon as his lips met mine it was like nothing else in the world mattered. Paul's lips were cold and soft. The kiss was slow and sweet but it was also passionate and needy. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my hands found their way into his messy blonde hair. Paul using this to pull me even closer into him, one of his hands traveling down to eventually find it's place on my hip. "Get a damn room you two!" Marko cackled, making fake gagging sounds, pulling Paul and I out of our little daze and back into reality. We pulled away slightly, I slid my hands down to rest on his chest as we rested our foreheads together. Paul let out a chuckle. "Shut up Marko. You're just mad you don't have a babe of your own to make out with." He teased his brother, still looking into my eyes. "Alright, both of you idiots shut up." David interjected, rolling his eyes. Dwayne was just looking between the group with an amused look on his face. Paul pulled away and grabbed my hand. "Come on sugar, lets go ride the roller-coaster then play some games. I wanna win you something." He suggested, already starting to pull me along with him. "Okay, sounds like fun." I said with a smile. "See you guys later." I told the others with a wave. I heard Marko shout before we got too far away. “He sucks at winning those games y/n!” 

Paul and I walked hand in hand to the roller-coaster. As we got in line, he moved to stand behind me, wrapping his arms around me and rested his chin on my head. I leaned into him, enjoying the closeness. "You excited y/n?" He asked, giving my waist a quick squeeze. I bit my lip nervously. I have never been on a roller-coaster before... Any ride really. So I was pretty nervous to go on it. "I've uhh. I’ve never actually been on a roller-coaster before." I confessed in a shy and slightly embarrassed voice. Paul moved his head from it's place on top of mine, and looked at me. An obvious shocked expression took over his face but was quickly replaced by teasing grin. "You afraid of heights or something y/n?" He teased. I laughed and shook my head. "No. I just never went on one. Never really had friends to go anywhere with and well, going anywhere with my parents is totally out of the question." I informed him. Paul shrugged and gave me a kiss on the cheek before his head returned to it's place on top of mine. "Good to know I'll be your first then sugar." I snorted at the double meaning of his words. "Funny." I told him as I heard him laugh to himself. "I didn't say anything." He said, acting innocent. Before long, we had made it to the front of the line and were getting onto the ride. As we were being secured into our seats, I grabbed Pauls hand. He brought my hand to his lips, giving it a quick kiss before bringing it back down. "Don't worry babe, I got you." He said, trying to calm my racing heart. Paul thought it was adorable they way you grabbed his hand for comfort. It made him feel good knowing that he could be the one that you turn to for comfort when you needed it. Even if it was just because you were nervous about riding a rollercoaster. 

To say I screamed my head off, first out of fear but then fun, would be an understatement. By the time the coaster had come to a stop and we were getting off, Paul was laughing his head off. "Hey! Don't laugh you ass." I said through the smile that was plastered on my face. "I'm sorry sugar pie. It's just, you're face and the way you were screaming. I can't help it. "He said, his own smile plastered on his face. "You had fun though, right babe?" He asked, wrapping his arm around my waist. I leaned into his side and nodded. "Yeah, I had a lot of fun." I said looking up at him. God. The smile you had on your face and the way you were looking at him, was almost enough to make Paul's heart start beating again. Suddenly, he felt nervous, worried. No, he was terrified. He would, at some point, have to tell you about him. About the others and what they were. He was terrified that, once you found out, you would run away screaming. If that happened, Paul's heart would be absolutely shattered. He shuddered at the thought of losing you. "Hey. You okay Paul? You went kinda silent on me there." You asked him worriedly. "Yeah, I'm good. Just wondering what game to play. Gotta win you that prize, remember." He said with a smile, pulling you closer to him. You looked at him for a moment. You could tell that there was something actually bothering him, but you didn't want to force him to talk about something that he didn't want to. So, you just returned his smile and suggested a game to him. 

You two walked back to the group, you with your prize Paul had won you in hand and a big grin on your face. It was a cute lion plushie that reminded you of Paul, with it's messy mane of hair. "I thought you sucked at those games." David said with a smirk as soon as he saw the toy I was holding. "Shut up man. I don't suck." Paul said trying to defend himself. Truthfully, it had actually taken Paul quite a few go's to win it. I tried to help Paul out by lying and telling David and the others that Paul had won it on his first try. "I'll have you know, Paul won it first go." I said, before turning my head to look at Paul with a grin. He grinned back and turned back to David. "See! I rock, you suck!" Marko snorted and Dwayne laughed along too. David just rolled his eyes before pulling a cigarette from behind his ear and lit it. We all just hung out around the bikes for a couple more hours before I decided that I should probably go home. I didn't want a repeat of what happened earlier today. I turned to Paul, who was talking to Marko about something. "Uh Paul.. Do you think you could take me home? It's getting late and my parents will be upset if I'm out too much longer." I asked. "Aw but it's not even midnight babe!" Paul whined. I laughed at Paul and pet his head as he grabbed me, burying his face into the crook of my neck. "It's okay Paul. I'll see you tomorrow." I reassured him. "You're such a baby, dude." Marko teased Paul. "AM NOT!" Paul retorted. His voice muffled in my neck. "You literally sound like a child right now, Paul." Dwayne told him with a chuckle. I just laughed at that.. I mean, he's not wrong. It's not the most adult way to respond to being called a baby. "Hey! You're supposed to be on my side babe." Paul said, offended that I would laugh at him being called a baby. "I'm sorry Paul, it's just.. That's exactly how a baby would respond." I teased him. I guess that was a bad idea, because I was promptly swept off of my feet and thrown over Paul's shoulder as he walked off with me... "Paul! Put me down!" I shout through laughter. "Not until you say you're sorry!" He demanded, laughing at me trying to squirm out of his arms. "Okay, okay! I'm sorry!" I conceded. He puts me back down and grins at me. 

Eventually, I get him to take me home. He parks a few houses down from mine, much like he did last night. We get off of his bike and he wraps his arms around me, pulling me into a hug, which I immediately accept, resting my head on his chest. We stay like that for a few minutes before pulling away. "Gonna miss me sugar?" Paul asks with a teasing smirk. I brought my arms up and wrapped them around his neck. “Maybe.” I say before pulling him in for a kiss. Our lips met, and again, the world melts away. Paul's hands find their way to my hips and he gives them a gentle squeeze. He starts to trail the kisses from my mouth, along my jaw and down to my neck. It felt so good I didn't want to stop him, but unfortunately I had to. "Paul. As much as I'm enjoying this, We have to stop." I told him in a whisper, my eyes still closed and my fingers tangled in his hair. I felt him smile against my skin before he slowly pulled away. "We could always take this up to your room sugar." He suggested in a flirty tone. Seeing the way he was looking at me right now, made me shiver in the best way possible. I wanted, more than anything, to bring him up to my room. Let him make me feel things I've never felt before, positive that he could and would. The feeling of his hands roaming my body, touching parts of me that nobody had ever touched before. But I couldn't. my parents would probably kill him, and then kill me. Sadly, I'm not exaggerating. I laid my hand on Paul's chest and smiled up at him. "Sorry Romeo, no can do. My parents are home and if they catch me with a boy in my room... Well, it wont be pretty." I told him. "All good sugar pie. There's always next time." He said with a smile and a wink, mounting his bike. I rolled my eyes and shook my head at him. He handed me my plushie take he had somehow managed to stuff into one of his pockets in his coat. “Thanks.” I said as I took it from him with a giggle. "Goodnight Paul." I said as I looked back up to him from the toy and used it’s little arm to wave to Paul. He laughed and imitated the wave. "Night y/n. I'll pick you up tomorrow night, okay. Same time." He informed me. I just nodded in response and turned around and started making my way back to my house. I heard Paul's bike start up and drive away. I turned my head just in time to see bike disappear down the street.

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[moisette]

I tried xD;

I wanted to take a hit for Leon with OtR but I ended up trapping Myers in a corner. Not my intention and I got tunneled but it was funny.

On my old PC, hitting these skillchecks was almost impossible. My reflexes aren't that great but the PC I have now helps.

You know...I thought I timed that just right but xD; Also they didn't need to tbag her at the end :\

Never thought I'd see this in DBD. I don't know why I came out of the locker xD;

This game is so funny sometimes. David saved me but I had nowhere to go. Fun match, though.

I was trying to lead the zombie away from Meg so she could work on the gen <_<;

I was trying to keep Trevor from getting hooked again but he ended up where I was trying to run...

Plaything isn't something I feel like I need to cleanse. Last Killer that had it, had Pentimento soooo. I knew he was in this area - I wanted to maybe take a hit for Dwight because he was dead... I don't think he was wiggling xD;

Why though? It was her first hook. We had the ability to win this... Also I was trying to get a vaccine but a zombie was camping it so >_> I kind of gave up after Meg did and I just wanted a syringe. I figured he was still on my ass but I had to get the syringe >8u It's not about curing myself - it's about sending a message <<